Talking With 

Children About TBI

FAMILIES
Helping Children Cope with TBI*

Having a family member with a complicated mild, moderate 

or severe TBI can be frightening for a child who looks to 

this person to provide strength and safety. The person 

with TBI may no longer act the same as he or she did 

before the injury. Your family member/parent with TBI 

may be angry, depressed or uncertain.

As a result, the special bond that existed previously has 

changed.

The child may be confused and upset about what is going 

on. This could be due to worry about the family member’s 

condition or concerns about changes in their relationship. 

It could also be due to financial strains, or simply adjusting 

to the new “normal.”

It is important to recognize that the child is grieving, just 

as you are. They may withdraw from social activities with 

peers, have mood swings, become withdrawn or disruptive, 

do poorly in school and show other behavioral problems.

Children also need time and space to be kids. Communicate 

with your child that he or she is not to blame for the TBI.

Make sure any tasks that your child takes on — household 

chores, for example — are suitable for his or her age. Strive 

as much as possible to find other adults to help you, rather 

than relying on your children to play a major role.

* Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)
You can help your child by explaining TBI in a way that 

they can understand. Ask a health care provider to talk 

with them.

Build new family routines, and keep an eye out for signs 

that your child is not coping well.
Age and Stage of Development

Age 4-5

More self-secure, can play well with others, 

tests the rules, “magical thinking”

Age 2-3

Can differentiate expressions of anger, 

sorrow, and joy

Age 6-7

Capable of following rules, enjoys having 

responsibility

Uncertain of the relationship between cause 

and effect; parent is the primary source of 

Age 8-11

Has a better understanding of logic and 

cause/effect, less centered on self, able to 

understand others’ feelings, can empathize

Age 12-17

Experience puberty and physiological changes, 

seek freedom and independence, acceptance 

by peers is extremely important, develop more 

intimate relationships, more thoughtful and 

caring
Communication Techniques for Parents

• Select books with stories that mirror families 

like yours to help your child relate.

• Familiarize your child with pictures of objects 

and concepts related to medical care and health 

(hospital, gown, doctors, flowers, bed, coming 

home from the hospital).

• Incorporate play with a child’s doctor kit to familiarize 

your child and symbolize what is happening.

• Communicate using simple words.

• Use picture books.

• Create simple books with pictures of family 

members and simple objects that the child 

understands (hospital, doctor, bed, rest).

• Offer dolls to play with so they can recreate what 

is happening at home or at the doctor’s office.

• Use interactive communication — reading books 

and creating stories with your child.

• Help your child create his/her own “this is our family” 

album and talk about the photographs and memorabilia.

• Watch movies with story lines similar to what your 

family is experiencing.

• Listen to your child’s thoughts and opinions.

• Ask questions that go beyond yes and no.

• Depending on your child’s level of development 

and understanding, speak with direct, realitybased explanations that include facts.

• Include the sequence of events involved 

and what to expect.

• Give facts: what is expected to happen including the 

diagnosis, prognosis, treatments and expected outcomes.

• Talk with your children, not to them.

• Check in and offer time to discuss concerns frequently.

• Listen attentively.

• Ask questions that go beyond yes and no.

• Stay alert for risky behaviors or acting out. Also 

be aware if they seem noticeably withdrawn.

• If risky behaviors are present, seek professional help.
www.DVBIC.org
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Notes

info@DVBIC.org
June 2012 www.DVBIC.org | info@DVBIC.org