HEAD

START®

BULLETIN

July 2000 Issue No. 68

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services ★ Administration for Children and Families ★ Administration on Children,Youth and Families

enhancing head start communication

Most of us think of conflict as a bad thing:

shouting, put-downs, hurt feelings, tears.

No wonder most of us go out of our

way to avoid it.

But in thinking this way,we’re often confusing

conflict with aggression and hostility.The fact is that

most conflicts are simple disagreements that are

easily resolved by talking. Or perhaps they’re not

even worth talking about — we just move on.

This issue of the Head Start Bulletin reviews

conflict management skills and illustrates how

they can be used effectively in those situations

where conflict can be prevented or resolved in a

mutually satisfying way.The importance of conflict

management in Head Start, and how it is reflected in the Program Performance Standards, are

also discussed.

Disagreement, or conflict, is a fact of life.

We interact daily with people who have their

own perceptions, beliefs, cultures, and values —

and we don’t always see “eye to eye” with 

each other. Conflict is thus a natural part of

human relationships.

Conflict also plays an important role in child

development. To get along with other children, as

well as with adults, children must learn to understand and control their emotions, express themselves clearly, understand another person’s perspective, and negotiate compromises. These are

skills they acquire as they interact with their peers

and learn to resolve for themselves the conflicts

that inevitably arise.Parents and caregivers can help

by modeling constructive behavior and by setting

the example that a disagreement can be dealt with

respectfully and in a positive and friendly manner.

Conflict management skills also benefit parents and caregivers in their interactions with their

peers, with family and community members, and

with each other.

Sometimes conflict exists around “non-negotiable” issues. The child jumping from the top of

the jungle gym will not be happy with the staff

member who puts an end to that game — but safety issues are non-negotiable.While this and other

such situations may create a great deal of conflict,

they are unlikely to be resolved to the mutual satisfaction of all parties. Not all conflicts can be

resolved through discussion or by negotiating a

“win-win” solution.

While strong leadership is an essential element of a strong Head Start program, there are

numerous instances where conflict management

techniques can be used to prevent or resolve disagreements. Effective leaders often see conflict as a

source of vitality — bringing diverse views to the

table can lead to new and creative ways of

approaching tasks and problem solving. Conflict

presents opportunity for change and growth, and

can thus be a positive and constructive experience.

Understanding the elements of conflict and

developing skills to manage and resolve conflict

effectively will help us all to weather these times of

change, and the stress that change often brings.

Kathryn Fernandez is a 1999–2000 Head Start Fellow

in the Head Start Bureau’s Training and Technical

Assistance Branch.

Conflict Management

By Kathryn Fernandez

Inside this Issue...

Conflict Resolution:

Understanding the Elements 3

Negotiating with Toddlers 18

Head Start Family Literacy Project 25

Celebrating 35 Years of Head Start
JoAn Knight Herren, Chief of the Head Start Bureau’s Training and Technical Assistance

Branch, and Kathryn Fernandez, Head Start Fellow, were guest editors for this issue.

Conflict Management

2

Contents

Conflict Resolution:

Understanding the Elements . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3

What Is Mediation? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7

Conflict Management and 

Program Performance Standards . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8

Lessons Learned . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10

Following the Sun:An Adventure in 

Future Search and Appreciative Inquiry . . . . . . . 11

The Magic of Dialogue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13

Preventing, Preempting, and Resolving 

Conflicts in the Workplace . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

Conflict Management and Young Children . . . . . 16

Negotiating with Toddlers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18

A Day Dedicated to Conflict Resolution . . . . . . . 20

Conflict Resolution for Head Start:

A Pilot Program . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

Ounce of Prevention . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24

Head Start Family Literacy Project. . . . . . . . . . . . 25

Resources. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26

The Head Start Bulletin is

published six times a year by the

Head Start Bureau, Administration

on Children, Youth and Families,

Department of Health and Human

Services.

Donna E. Shalala

Secretary

Olivia A. Golden

Assistant Secretary

Administration for Children and

Families

Michael Kharfen

Director

Office of Public Affairs

Patricia Montoya

Commissioner

Administration on Children, Youth

and Families

Helen H.Taylor

Associate Commissioner

Head Start Bureau

The Bulletin is a service of the 

Head Start Bureau’s Training and

Technical Assistance Branch. 

Its purpose is to enhance

communication among the Head

Start Bureau, Head Start programs,

and interested national, regional,

and state organizations and agencies.

JoAn Knight Herren

Chief, T/TA Branch

Head Start Bureau

Donnell Savage

Managing Editor

Head Start Bulletin

The Head Start Bulletin is

prepared under Contract No. 105-96-

2010 with PaL-Tech, Inc.

Jean Swift

Senior Writer/Editor

Jennifer McDonald

Writer

Head Start Bulletin

C ONFLICT M ANAGEMENT

Issue No. 68
Conflict Management

Conflict Resolution: 

Understanding The Elements

By Kathryn Fernandez

National Head Start Bulletin ▼ Conflict Management 3

Conflicts Have Value

Conflicts have value in a number of ways.

They:

• Focus attention on problems that have

to be solved. Conflicts energize and motivate us to solve our problems.

• Clarify what you care about, are committed to, and value. You only disagree

over wants and goals you value. And you

argue much more frequently and intensely

with people you value or care about.

• Help you understand who the other

person is and what his or her values

are. Conflicts clarify the identities 

of your friends, co-workers, and 

acquaintances.

• Clarify how you need to change.

Conflicts clarify and highlight patterns of

behavior that are dysfunctional.

• Strengthen relationships by increasing

your confidence that you can resolve

your disagreements. Every time a serious

conflict is resolved constructively, the relationship becomes less fragile and more

able to withstand crises and problems.

• Keep the relationship clear of irritations and resentments so positive feelings can be experienced fully. A good

conflict may do a lot to resolve the small

tensions of interacting with others.

• Release emotions that, if kept inside,

make us physically and mentally sick.

Addressing a conflict a day keeps depression away!

• Add fun, enjoyment, excitement, and

variety to your life. Being in a conflict

reduces boredom, gives you new goals,

motivates you to take action, and stimulates interest.

Adapted from David Johnson and Roger T.Johnson’s

article “Peacemakers:Teaching Students to Resolve

Their Own and Schoolmates’Conflicts”published in

the February 1996 issue of Children.

T o manage conflict effectively, we must first understand

what conflict is. Once we have that understanding, we can

gain the knowledge and skills to prevent conflict or deal

with it effectively when it arises.

This article provides a brief overview of conflict and strategies for: (1) preventing conflict; (2) assessing and resolving conflict;

and (3) negotiating a “win-win” solution. Much of the information

has been excerpted from the Head Start “Moving Ahead” Skills and

Competency-Based Training Program. Other articles in this issue of the

Bulletin provide more detail on these issues; the Resources section

lists sources of additional information.

What is conflict?

Conflict can be viewed as a difference in perspectives: what you

see, think, feel, and believe may be different from what I see, think,

feel, and believe. Conflict is thus a part of all human interaction, and

it can have a positive influence.We can learn from one another and

benefit from a variety of perspectives on issues. In terms of our

Head Start programs, the diversity of perspectives within each center helps to generate ideas, facilitate change, and generally make the

program more responsive to the needs of children and families. If

managed wisely, conflict is a source of vitality and an opportunity

for positive change.

The most positive experiences in managing conflict require a

safe and supportive organizational climate in which relationships

are based on trust and mutual respect. Only then can people feel

comfortable and “safe” in expressing differences of opinions and

working toward a “win-win” resolution for everyone.

Creating a Supportive Environment

To cultivate a supportive environment in which people feel free to

disagree and are encouraged to work constructively toward a

mutually acceptable compromise, try the following:

• Inspire with insights, reminders, and maxims — Post

phrases, quotations, and cartoons as reminders of good conflict

resolution habits wherever staff members gather; distribute relevant articles found in newspapers and magazines.

• Encourage “Skill of the Month” activity — Since new

behavior is reinforced when everyone focuses on it at the same

time, staff can select one specific conflict resolution skill to work

on each month, such as paraphrasing, calming down, brainstorming, naming one’s feelings, or responding to anger or frustration.

• Encourage reflection — Encourage individuals to reflect on

their personal behavior in private journals.

• Open up discussions — Supply staff with a video on personnel

management, and facilitate a follow-up discussion on conflict 

(see page 4)
Conflict Management

resolution topics, such as conflict deescalation techniques, family origins

of conflict styles, and community

mediation resources.

• Model proper behavior — Be a

good model for attitudes or skills you

support before suggesting others

adopt these behaviors. Nothing is

more persuasive to staff than your

own commitment to, and personal

observance of, positive communication and conflict management skills.

• Start small — “People don’t resist

change. . . they resist being changed.”

Allow for different levels of readiness

and acceptance of this shift in thinking. Set the stage for resolving conflict in every possible way, but allow

people to find their own way in their

own time.

• Influence the organization —

Consider how you might exert influence on resolving conflicts at organizational levels:

• Build in rewards and punishments — What type of

disputing behavior gets

rewarded by your program?

Are those who sweep problems under the rug until they

spill over into everyone’s work

ever helped to see the effects

of their “avoidance”? Do those

who “name” a problem get

treated as if they created the

problem instead of appreciated for their courage in bringing it to the surface?

• Look at who you hire —

Does the program hire problem solvers? How well do job

candidates understand the

nature of conflict, and can they

demonstrate experience

working cooperatively with

others to solve problems?

Could your job descriptions

be written to include a desire

for abilities such as listening,

flexibility, priority setting, and

handling emotions, along with

other related skills?

• Finally, plan for “outbreaks”—

Are you prepared to handle simmering staff tensions that could erupt?

What support can you count on?

How can you prevent future eruptions? Since we learn best through

experience, a crisis can be a unique

learning opportunity for everyone

when it is handled constructively.

Conflict-Prevention Skills

While conflict can be a positive influence, it is not necessarily something

that people want to face every day. As

the saying goes, too much of a good

thing is — well, too much! The following skills can help you prevent conflict or

assist you and your team in managing or

resolving conflict:

• Help the team focus on the task and

stay on track.

• Be mindful of other people’s styles.

• Make suggestions on how to 

proceed.

• Help negotiate.

• Ask questions to clarify expectations,

issues, and possible directions to

take.

• Help find needed resources.

• Provide constructive feedback.

• Share observations.

• Coach staff.

• Help team members plan how to

implement their agreement.

• Help team members evaluate their

efforts and make needed changes.

4 Conflict Management ▼ National Head Start Bulletin

Definitions of Key Terms

Collaboration: A desire or need to create or

discover something new, while thinking and

working with others. It is a process of joint decision making among parties. It involves: different

views and perspectives, shared goals, building

new shared understandings, and the creation of

a new value or product. Collaborations may

address a single issue or a short-term concern.

Conflict: A situation where people on the same

team have different overall goals.

Conflict Resolution: A process to resolve disputes between people with different interests.

This resolution process can have constructive

consequences if the parties air their different

interests, make trade-offs, and reach a settlement that satisfies the essential needs of each.

Goal: A desired future condition, including

measurable end results, to be accomplished

within specified time limits.

Mediation: A process through which a third

party assists the disputants in finding a mutually

acceptable solution. In mediation, the role of the

third party is to assist disputants in considering

or exploring all the parameters of a conflict

(interests, facts, possible solutions). The mediator is not authorized to impose a solution upon

the parties; rather the mediator uses a series of

joint and confidential private meetings to help

the parties determine whether a set of solutions

exists to which each party can say yes.

Negotiation: Direct talk among the parties

about a conflict, conducted with the goal of

achieving a resolution. The distinguishing characteristic is that the talk involves the parties

themselves without the direct assistance of a

third party.

Process: A series of actions by which something is produced. A set of interrelated activities

that is characterized by receiving inputs and

adding value to produce a desired output.
Conflict Management

National Head Start Bulletin ▼ Conflict Management 5

Additional ways of preventing or managing conflict include:

• Setting ground rules for discussion.

• Teaching reflective listening skills to

team members.

• Teaching mediation skills.

Separating Interests 

from Positions

One of the most important steps people

can take in learning to prevent or resolve

conflicts is to become aware of and sensitive to the difference between interests

and positions. Interests are the needs, concerns, and values that motivate each person.They represent why a person wants

something, and they get at underlying

issues. Positions are the actions a person

will take to meet his or her needs and

achieve a desired outcome.

The ability to separate interests

from positions is key to resolving conflict for these reasons:

• Focusing on positions often creates a

competitive, even combative, struggle

in which each party is determined to

win.

• Separating interests from positions

assists parties in focusing on the

underlying issues rather than dealing

with ideological or situational 

reactions.

• Focusing on interests rather than

positions increases communication

and the possibility of agreement.

• Identifying interests requires taking a

step in defining and analyzing the

conflict: such a step is necessary to

reach a resolution.

Tips for Separating Interests 

from Positions

• Change your focus.

• Clearly state your interests rather

than your position.

• Ask questions to elicit and clarify the

other parties’ interests—the needs,

concerns, and values that motivate

their position.

• Express your understanding of the

vision or purpose of the group.

In Head Start, we have some fundamental common interests and values related to the well-being of children and

families. Keeping our “eyes on the

prize” can often help us to get past

positions and back to the fundamental

interests at stake.

Reaching a “Win-Win”

Solution

Traditional methods of negotiation—

holding discussions to arrive at a compromise that is acceptable to everyone—are based on power relations in

which one party wins and another loses.

The “win-win” strategy involves collaboration and negotiation. It is based on

interests rather than positions. It can

lead to agreements that satisfy

all parties.

Use these principles to

reach a “win-win” solution:

• View participants as

problem solvers.

• Separate the people from the

problem.

• Be soft on the people, hard on

the problem.

• Focus on interests, not on

positions or the bottom

line.

• Help participants create multiple options for mutual gain.

• Use objective criteria.

• Reason and be open to reason; yield

to principles, not to pressure.

Assessing and 

Resolving Conflicts:

A Sequential Process

Like most problem-solving processes,

the conflict management process can

be broken down into steps. The Head

Start Moving Ahead training program

identifies a six-step sequential process

for assessing and resolving conflicts:

Stage 1 — Define the Problem:

Clearly define the nature of the conflict and the fundamental issues. Show

appreciation for what is working

well.

Stage 2 — Clarify the Needs: Clearly

identify the needs of everyone

involved. By taking everyone’s perspectives into account, you are likely 
Conflict Management

to develop solutions that benefit

everyone.

Stage 3 — Generate Possible Options:

Generate a range of possible solutions.This will help everyone involved

analyze the plausibility of different

options and their potential viability.

Stage 4 — Evaluate Proposed

Options: Develop criteria that can be

used to examine and evaluate each

option. Example of questions: Do all

members understand the solution? Is

it realistic? Are all members of the

team committed to the idea? What

could go wrong? What are the potential benefits?

Stage 5 — Develop an Action Plan:

Choose an effective solution, ask

these questions to develop an action

plan:

• What small steps can the team 

take to achieve the best results?

• Who will take the lead for each

step? Who else will be involved?

• What is the time frame for each

step?

• What criteria will be used to

evaluate the plan's effectiveness?

Stage 6 — Develop a Contingency

Plan: Develop a written contingency

plan in advance in case you

encounter unforeseen circumstances

in implementing the action plan.

While each conflict is unique, this basic

framework can make the process of

understanding and resolving the conflicts much easier.

Moving toward understanding

conflict and using it to increase personal and workplace growth are the first

steps to seeing conflict with insight and

perspective. As educators and administrators, we need to step out of old

beliefs, ideas, and habits and see with

new eyes. Using our new-found conflict

resolution skills, we can identify different types of conflict, examine and better understand them, and find a “winwin” solution for everyone involved.

Kathryn Fernandez is a Head Start Fellow in

the Head Start Bureau’s Training and

Technical Assistance Branch; T: 202-205-

5931; E: kfernandez@acf.dhhs.gov.To order

copies of the Phase IV “Moving Ahead”training materials, contact the Head Start

Publications Management Center at puborder@hskids-tmsc.org or by fax at 703-683-

5769.

6 Conflict Management ▼ National Head Start Bulletin

Creating a “Win-Win”

Problem-Solving Environment

These days, more and more people are

spending a majority of their time at work.

And since many people end up spending as

much time with their co-workers as they do

with their families, the opportunity to work

in a supportive environment that encourages growth is invaluable.

One way that people grow is through

overcoming challenges and developing good

problem-solving skills. And if work environments support new ideas and encourage

constructive criticism in an open, blame-free

setting,problem-solving skills are encouraged

and nurtured. As leaders and professionals,

we can facilitate and support a “win-win”

problem-solving workplace by agreeing on

specific ground rules and helping each other

to follow them.

Ground rules can be simple or elaborate, depending on the needs of the group.

At a minimum, your rules should include 

the following:

• Look for and highlight good points.

• Abstain from put-downs.

• Listen. Do not interrupt each other.

Do not speak too long or too often.

• Volunteer yourself only.

• Agree on confidentiality, when necessary.

Expect the group to discuss issues and find

resolutions.Ask every member of the group

to support the following approach:

• Agree to be active listeners.

• Give every participant time to explain the

challenge as she or he perceives it.

• Allow emotions to be expressed in a nonviolent manner.

• Agree to be open to new ideas and flexible

to creative solutions.

• Find a solution that addresses the consensus of the group.

Attempts to create a work environment that

fosters “win-win” problem-solving will

reduce group apathy and inspire creative

solutions. The group will see opportunities

rather than problems.
Conflict Management

National Head Start Bulletin ▼ Conflict Management 7

Mediation is the process of resolving disputes and conflicts with the help of a

neutral third party, a mediator, who facilitates the process. It allows individuals

to bring their problem to the mediation table in order to cooperatively work

out their differences.The goal of mediation is not to determine guilt or innocence, but rather to work out differences constructively.

While mediation programs and mediators may differ in their approach, most use

the same basic process.

Mediation Process

Step I: Introduction and Ground Rules 

In this first phase, parties demonstrate a willingness to solve the problem and agree to follow

certain ground rules, such as:

• Be truthful and sincere.

• Listen (without interruption) as each party speaks.

• Show respect. Use language that clarifies but does not blame.

• Emphasize the importance of confidentiality.

Step II: Discussion

During the discussion phase, disputing parties:

• Share their perceptions about what happened and their feelings about the conflict.

• Brainstorm possible solutions.

• Discuss what they would do differently in similar situations.

• Explore solutions that are “win-win.”

• Reach agreement on a “win-win” resolution to the dispute.

Step III: Closure

During closure, the mediator:

• Congratulates disputing parties on their efforts.

• Reminds them of the significance of honoring their agreement.

• Reiterates the vision of the group or program.

Benefits of Mediation

Although no conflict resolution process guarantees resolution, there are several 

benefits to mediation:

• It is less expensive than litigation.

• It usually facilitates rapid resolution.

• It can address power imbalances by having a third party observe and assist in the

exchange of information.

• Participants are usually satisfied with the process and the results.

• There is a high rate of compliance when a mediator is used.

Mediation offers parents, directors, and administrators a model for promoting people’s

abilities to make decisions about their lives, for fostering respect and cooperation, and

for encouraging the use of fairness rather than power in decision making.

Kathryn Fernandez is a Head Start Fellow in the Head Start Bureau’s Training and Technical

Assistance Branch;T: 202-205-5931; E: kfernandez@acf.dhhs.gov.

What Is Mediation?

By Kathryn Fernandez

Guiding Principles

for Conflict

Resolution

The following is a list of guiding

principles for conflict resolution.

This list is not exhaustive, nor

are the items listed in order of

importance.

• Empowerment

• Cultural competence

• Collaboration

• Respect

• Infusion of skills to all

stakeholders and others

within community

• Systems approach/ 

worldview

• Learning community

• Upstreaming — solving

problems closest to source

of differences

• Community ownership

• Community partneships
Conflict Management

Shared decision making is an

essential element in all Head

Start programs and must be consistently practiced. Because shared decision making is the basis of Program

Governance and requires ongoing work

and commitment, it is important that all

staff and parents, the governing body,

and the Policy Council/Committee (policy group) understand its importance

and function.

In the Program Performance

Standards, Program Governance

(1304.50) is the first part of the

Program Design and Management section. The Program Governance structure exists in a Head Start program to

support the delivery of quality services

to children and families and to support

the meaningful role of parents in shared

decision making.

The governing body and the policy group, working with management

staff, are responsible for program planning and development; they also provide guidance and oversight during

implementation. Many opportunities to

discuss issues arise during joint training,

regularly scheduled business meetings,

and frequent committee meetings.

When ideas are exchanged, people

don’t always agree. In fact, conflicts can

arise that seem insurmountable. For

these times, it is important to have dispute resolution procedures in place.

Performance Standard

1304.50(h): Internal Dispute

Resolution.

Each grantee and delegate agency

and Policy Council or Policy

Committee jointly must establish

written procedures for resolving

internal disputes, including impasse

procedures, between the governing

body and policy group.

Guidance: The governing body and

relevant policy group of each grantee

or delegate agency have the responsibility for writing and following their

own procedures for resolving internal

disputes. It is important to develop and

formally adopt these procedures on a

proactive basis. Therefore, agencies

should:

• Consider using community resources

to assist in developing resolution

procedures and in resolving disputes;

• Set procedures for seeking outside

assistance from community-based

organizations for the negotiation,

mediation, or arbitration of disputes

that threaten to disrupt services to

children and families; and

• Ensure that new policy group members are made aware of the process.

Some examples of when written 

dispute resolution procedures may 

be needed:

• The Policy Council voted to approve

the hiring of Head Start Director A.

The governing body voted to

approve the hiring of Head Start

Director B.

• The management staff has proposed

changing a portion of the homebased option of the program to center-based.The policy group approved

this recommendation. The governing

body disapproved it.

• The grantee’s management staff proposed delegating a portion of the

program to another agency in the

community to expand service area

coverage.The Policy Council rejected

this recommendation. The governing

body approved it.

Conflict Management and Program 

Performance Standards

By Frankie Hoover Gibson

8 Conflict Management ▼ National Head Start Bulletin
Conflict Management

National Head Start Bulletin ▼ Conflict Management 9

• The governing body has proposed a

new policy group composition and

procedures for electing the parent

representatives and selecting the

community representatives. The current policy group does not agree.

• The governing body and the policy

group reviewed the previous procedures for implementing shared decision making. The policy group

requested additional responsibilities

for itself. The governing body does

not agree.

• The governing body and the policy

group reviewed the personnel manual

used for staff in all of the agency’s programs.The policy group recommended several additions for Head Start

staff.The governing body wants all staff

to be under the exact same manual.

Your program’s written internal dispute

resolution procedures should be

reviewed and discussed annually by the

governing body and the Policy

Council/Committee. If there is no written procedure currently in place, the

governing body and the relevant policy

group are required to develop one.

Using community resources, or even an

outside consultant with expertise in

this area, to facilitate the development

is possible.Always remember that open

dialogue during the process will help

ensure that all involved parties feel

responsible for the successful development of internal dispute resolution

procedures. When the governing body

and Policy Council/Committee jointly

develop a resolution process, it often

lessens the likelihood of ever needing

to put the procedure in motion. The

more opportunities that the governing

body and the policy group have to

interact and share ideas and a common

vision, the less likelihood that there will

be disagreement on final decisions

affecting the program.When there is an

issue where the two groups disagree, it

can be much easier to resolve if they

are familiar with each other.

Ongoing training is required for

policy groups. Including governing body

members whenever possible is another

strategy to help the two groups communicate. Is your program using the

video-based training package Linking Our

Voices, and the training guide Fostering

Program Governance as baseline training?

Contact your Quality Improvement

Center (QIC) for additional resources

and ideas from other programs on what

and how to develop an internal dispute

resolution procedure.

Remember that ongoing, open

communication among all parties with

an interest in creating a successful Head

Start program is an essential ingredient

for providing quality services to all children and families!

Frankie Hoover Gibson is a Parent

Involvement Specialist in the Head Start

Bureau’s Family and Community Partnerships Branch and the Federal Project 

Officer for the Moving Ahead leadership 

training program;T: 202-205-8399;

E: fgibson@acf.dhhs.gov.
10 Conflict Management ▼ National Head Start Bulletin

Lessons Learned

Head Start Director

• Don’t hide issues, weaknesses, or

problems. Put issues “on the table”

for honest discussion and problem

solving.

• Learn to agree to disagree.We don’t

all have to think alike.

• Don’t shy away from dealing with difficult or unpopular personnel issues

and decisions.

• Continue to discuss problems and

resolutions. Don’t pretend the incidents didn’t happen.

• The Board of Directors (governing

body) and Executive Director can’t

wait until there is a crisis to get

involved.There must be regular communication and support among these

staff members.

• Be aware that the community will

have its own perspective, and be prepared to answer the public’s questions about the conflict.

• Separate friendships from business

decisions. This applies to parents,

Policy Council members, and staff.

• Head Start dynamics are changing.

Don’t continue to do things just

because they have always been done

that way. Be willing to take an honest

look at procedures, keep what is

working, and change what is not.

• Going along with demands or needs

that really are not crucial may help to

show “good faith."

• An “outsider” coming in to assist

with conflict resolution is only helpful

when he or she gets to the root of

the problem and the underlying

issues that people may not be discussing.

• Determine the philosophy of the

grantee and the program regarding

parent involvement and the Policy

Council. Do their actions match their

philosophy?

• Be clear about the role of the Policy

Council and Parent Committees.

Provide thorough, ongoing, formal,

and informal training. Be willing to

revisit procedures.

• Know the regulations.

Policy Council Chair/

Governing Body Chair

• Listen to what is being said by all 

parties.

• Set up ground rules for handling conflict (in bylaws or standing rules).

• Communicate any way possible: oneon-one or through a third party,

if necessary. If you are not being

heard, sometimes it’s easier to put it

in writing.

• Have patience

• Talk to your Board/Council and

examine the issues. Ask: Have we

started talking about the real issues

yet (the ones that are tucked away),

or are we still peeling away layers of

minor issues?

• Keep out of “fight mode.” Sort out

the issues that are important to all

parties and decide which are priorities.Agree on an overall goal—what’s

really important.

During Mediation

• Make a list of your desired outcomes.

• Sit and talk and avoid yelling.

• Seek common ground with the other

party.

• Listen and validate the other party’s

issues. It may not be an issue for you,

but if it’s an issue for anyone it needs

to be dealt with.

After Conflict Resolution

• Keep lines of communication open.

• Take small steps — don’t overdo it.

• Work closely with the other party.

• Ask questions or admit it if you don’t

understand something.

• Don’t be scared to say something

even if feelings get hurt. Talk it out.

Problem solve.

• Solve one problem at a time.

• Take time off.

Executive Director

• Miscommunication and misperceptions among Head Start staff can

arise from many different sources.

• Sometimes a crisis is the only way to

accomplish meaningful change.

• Parent involvement must be a way of

thinking and acting, not simply conforming to regulations.

This article is reprinted with some modification from the Spring 1997 issue of the 

Head Start Bulletin on Managing Change/

Managing Conflict.

The following list offers helpful ideas to Head Start programs for

avoiding unnecessary conflicts that could lead to formal mediation:
Conflict Management

National Head Start Bulletin ▼ Conflict Management 11

If you took a day to watch, the field of

yellow and black blooms would follow

the sun as it travels across the summer

sky. This phenomenon is called the

heliotropic principle: plants turn to face

their source of light and energy.

Human organizations and groups

operate in a similar fashion. Unlike

machines that can be programmed to

ignore the environment, people and

organizations are influenced by where they

direct their attention.This is one of the

principles that Future Search and

Appreciative Inquiry share. When

groups seek to grow through positive

experiences, the process and the

results reflect a proactive approach.

Both Future Search and

Appreciative Inquiry are participatory

change models committed to relationship building and results planning. Both

also focus on planning for the future, not

problem-solving for the present.

These models were used in organizing a three-day Child Care Partnership

Forum, which was sponsored by the

Washington Head Start-State

Collaboration Office to continue efforts

to achieve quality, affordable, accessible

child care in the state. Six community

teams, each representing one of the

state’s districts, sent leaders from

stakeholder groups that

included Head Start, child

care, subsidies, licensing,

resource and referral,

and local health jurisdictions. A comparable group representing state

agencies also participated in the

gathering. All

teams were at

various stages of

collaborative

efforts; many of

these groups had

been meeting

regularly at the

local level for years,

while others were

formed fairly recently.

As always, new members

had come in and out of the

groups, changing their histories,

experiences, and dynamics.

A variety of adult-learning techniques for communication and future

designs were incorporated into the

conference format, including one-onone dialogue, small and large group

activities, flip charts, gallery walks,

report outs,interviews,skits,and lots of

laughter and positive language. Time

was allotted for local teams to work

together, and for like-work (stakeholder) groups to do the same.

A luncheon and inspirational

keynote speaker kicked off the event.

Marti Isler, Director of the Early

Childhood Initiative, United Way of

Allegheny County, Pennsylvania, set the

tone by reflecting on her experiences,

both accomplishments and challenges,

and enlightening the group with her

learnings from several years of working

to pull together early learning programs.

Participants began the work session

energized and believing that the results

are worth the monumental efforts that

effective collaborations may take.

Discovering Common

Ground

Future Search helps members of organizations or collaboration partners to

determine commonalties and create

self-managed plans to move toward

their desired future. Participants engage

in a series of open dialogues on where

they've been, where they are, and what

they want to do.

Experience indicates that, as collaborative partners, we assume that people who meet regularly know one another, understand each others’ particular

agencies and jobs, have the same goals,

and communicate effectively. But these

assumptions are not necessarily true.

The three-day event provided an

opportunity for collaborative partners

to get much better acquainted. As one

participant summarized:“We have been

Following the Sun: An Adventure in Future Search

and Appreciative Inquiry

By Linda Maslowski & David Nelson

Have you ever noticed

while driving past a

field of sunflowers

that all the large

blooms face the 

same direction?
Conflict Management

12 Conflict Management ▼ National Head Start Bulletin

meeting for years and only after participating in this forum do I really feel I

know each partner and understand

what each of us does.”

Sharing personal and professional

milestones with members of local or

state teams began a process in which

each member gained recognition for

his/her individual contributions.

Construction of a “river of culture”

allowed each individual to perceive

clearly where he/she has participated in

a history that spans a century of Head

Start, child care, and early intervention

services. At the end of the day participants created a large, colorful, visual

mind map identifying current trends

and resources affecting early care and

education issues. These activities

allowed members to appreciate the

past and the present as we worked

toward planning a future together.

Appreciative Inquiry and

Building Future Scenarios

Appreciative Inquiry provides a framework for participants to become energized about change and to inspire collaborative action that serves the whole

system. Stories are discovered through

interviews that are used to create new,

more compelling images of the organizations and their futures.

Day Two of the forum began with

participants interviewing each other to

identify individual and organizational

strengths. Asking participants to recall

successful endeavors and to identify

what supported the accomplishment

helped each person internalize a “positive core” on which to build future

plans. One question that worked especially well in inviting thoughtful ideas

and discovery was: “Describe a time

you experienced a creative partnership

with several different agencies while

feeling alive and engaged.Who were the

different partners? What made it

work?” Practicing this process prompted one participant to say, “I will never

look at an interview the same — this

exercise will forever change how I will

work with people.”

Taking into account the past experiences, present trends, and forum learnings,each team collaborated on a dramatization depicting its desired future for

early care and education services in

2007. In visualizing their future, teams

were to be creative and not base plans

on current bureaucratic and fiscal realities. A key component of this activity

was having each group describe steps to

be taken to achieve this Year 2007 outcome. Each presentation reflected the

goals the team wanted to pursue. This

process also provided a transition to the

final day's activities.

Outcomes and Action

Planning

Each team began Day Three by constructing “constitutional propositions”

— key values important to all members

— on topics such as funding, wages, professional development, continuum of

care, collaboration, comprehensive services, and accessibility. The following

examples illustrate the dynamic, energetic statements written. Collaboration:

“A gathering of equals passionate about

meeting our community's needs and willing to actively commit resources and

time.” Funding:“Like public education,the

continuum of care is an entitlement.” 

As positive and future-oriented as

the Future Search and Appreciative

Inquiry processes are, groups still want

to discuss hurdles they are encountering

in the present day that may keep them

from achieving their envisioned future

scenarios. Like-work groups discussed

the hurdles and made suggestions for

overcoming them. Although solutions

take time to develop, participants concluded this activity feeling hopeful and

confident that these hurdles would not

halt their progress.

The six communities each created

a “back-home” plan with various degrees

of specificity, including outcomes, success

criteria (indicators),measurements,activities, and first steps (quickest wins).

Several of the teams determined that

they needed to bring additional stakeholders into the process, most specifically community businesses. All groups are

expecting to hold follow-up meetings to

build on the momentum gained during

the forum. The State Collaboration

Office Director, Terry Liddell, has prepared a summary of the results and will

follow up on how communities are

implementing their plans.

Building and sustaining an impetus for change require large amounts of

positive outlook and social bonding.

Consequently, the gathering was about

hope, excitement, inspiration, caring,

joy, and planning.The more positive the

process, the more creative and positive

the outcomes. Together we kept our

attention on the positive possibilities of

communities working together to build

even better communities.

A community will thrive when all

families enjoy quality, affordable, and

accessible child care. This is possible by

building strong relationships among child

care service providers; Head Start agencies;education,health and local,state,and

federal funding agencies; and businesses.

This was the sun that attracted all of us,

and that we will pursue.

Linda Maslowski is a Child Care Specialist at

the Region VII QIC,T: 402-483-6569. David

Nelson is a consultant and coach for the

Human Agenda,T: 816-453-3835.
Conflict Management

National Head Start Bulletin ▼ Conflict Management 13

I

n philosopher Martin Buber’s classic

work I and Thou, he suggests that in

authentic dialogue something far

deeper than ordinary conversation is

going on.The I-Thou interaction implies

a genuine openness of each individual to

the concerns of the other. In such dialogue,“I” do not, while talking with you,

selectively tune out views I disagree

with, nor do I busy myself marshaling

arguments to rebut you while only half

attending to what you have to say. Nor

do I seek to reinforce my own prejudices. Instead, I fully take in your viewpoint, engaging with it in the deepest

sense of the term.You do likewise. Each

of us internalizes the view of the other

to enhance our mutual understanding.

Buber voiced the stunning insight

that, apart from its obvious practical

value for problem-solving, dialogue

expresses an essential aspect of the

human spirit. He knew that dialogue is

a way of being.In Buber’s philosophy,life

itself is a form of meeting, and dialogue

is the place where we meet. In dialogue,

we penetrate behind the polite superficialities and defenses in which we habitually armor ourselves. We listen and

respond to one another with a kind of

authenticity that forges a bond

between us.

By performing the seemingly simple act of responding empathetically to

others and in turn being heard by them,

Buber observed, we transcend the constricting confines of the self. Instead of

saying, “you or me,” you hear yourself

saying, “you and me.” The act of reaching beyond the self to relate to others

in dialogue is a profound human yearning. If it were less commonplace we

would realize what a miracle it is.

Missing Skills

If the yearning for dialogue is universal,

why is it so rare? Because it calls upon

skills that impose a rigorous discipline

on participants. Most people have not

taken the time and effort to develop

these skills. The reason is not lack of

motivation. People have ample incentive

to acquire the skills of dialogue. They

have not done so for several reasons:

• Models are lacking. Television, for

example, resorts to the conflicting

debate format when presenting politics and other serious subjects

because of its entertainment value.

• The skills of dialogue have not been

clearly identified, so people who wish

to acquire them do not know what

they are.

• There are no obvious consequences

of failure to develop the skills. If you

tried to swim or ski without knowing

how, your lack of skill would be swiftly and dramatically obvious, perhaps

fatally so. If you fail at dialogue, it is

not at all obvious that the reason is

lack of dialogic skill, or even that a

failure has occurred.

Significantly, success at dialogue is much

more self-evident than failure. When

dialogue is done well, the results can be

extraordinary: Long-standing stereotypes dissolved, mistrust overcome,

mutual understanding achieved, visions

shaped and grounded in shared purpose, people previously at odds with

one another aligned on objectives and

strategies, new common ground 

discovered, new perspective and

insights gained, new levels of creativity

stimulated, and bonds of communication strengthened.

I do not want to overstate the

benefits of dialogue.Though I believe it

sometimes has almost magical properties, it is not a panacea for all the problems that ail us. Faith in the ability to

talk to solve problems is very

American, and to some cynics, a sign of

our cultural naïveté. It’s easy to poke

fun at serious, well-meaning attempts at

dialogue that miscarry, as many unfortunately do.

As our society becomes increasingly fragmented and pluralistic, we’re

likely to misunderstand one another

more and more. Ordinary discussion is

not powerful enough to break through

these misunderstandings. We will need

increasingly to resort to the more

potent resources of dialogue. All of us

will need to know how to initiate and

carry out spontaneous dialogue.

Constant readiness is the key to

success. You never know when an

opportunity for spontaneous dialogue

will arise. If you are not ready to take

advantage of it, the opportunity will

pass you by. Worse yet, you may get

drawn into a dialogue that will turn

sour, leaving the bad taste of failure.

Constant readiness means that

you know the strategies for doing dialogue successfully, and feel comfortable

in applying the most important ones.

(See “Strategies for Successful Dialogue"

on the next page) For example, you

understand the core requirements for

dialogue — treating the other as an

equal in every respect (part of what

Buber meant by “thou"), being willing

and able to bring everyone’s assumptions — including yours — into the

open without becoming judgmental.

Should the need arise you must

be psychologically prepared to perform

an act of empathy — which requires

both self-confidence and the lowering

of defenses. If you are in full battle gear,

as many of us are these days in our

encounters with a self-absorbed world,

it is easy to interpret an act of empathy

as a loss of face, a deficit of macho. I

suspect that most opportunities to initiate dialogue are lost because particiThe Magic of Dialogue

By Daniel Yankelovich
Conflict Management

14 Conflict Management ▼ National Head Start Bulletin

pants are not psychologically prepared

to take this first critical step.

You must also be prepared to

confront misunderstandings through

focusing on assumptions — both your

own and others. Misunderstandings

arise from many sources — from friction between subcultures to differences

in interests.The most complex of all are

transference-driven distortions. When

you misunderstand people from other

subcultures, you may be transferring to

them attributes,feelings,and beliefs that

are part of your own subculture.When

you misunderstand people from within

your own subculture, you may be transferring to them interests and feelings

more appropriate to the ghosts of your

past than to them.

Test Yourself

Are you ready for dialogue? Test yourself by asking yourself some searching

questions. Suppose, for example, you

are an executive in a meeting attended

by people of varied ranks within your

organization — some who report to

you, others who hold a higher position.

A discussion is in progress regarding a

project that did not work out according to plan. Lots of criticism is being

bandied about. Are you prepared to

volunteer that you accept some

responsibility because of erroneous

assumptions you had made, and then to

make them explicit? If not, you may

want to do more to prepare yourself

for dialogue.

Or suppose you are a married

man and you have just had a quarrel

with your wife. You tell a friend, who

then asks you, “After your quarrel, did

your wife feel you had listened fully and

sympathetically to her side of the

story?” If your answer is “no” or “I’m

not sure,” the chances are you are not

quite ready to enter into dialogue with

your wife.

Or suppose you are a woman

with a younger sister whom you habitually treat as not quite equal to you in

experience or smarts. Ask yourself if

your attitude toward her reflects the

person she is today, or whether you are

still reacting to her as she was in the

past. To prepare yourself for dialogue

with her, you may want to divest yourself of some of the baggage of the past.

One should not underestimate

how difficult it is to break ingrained

habits of not-listening, to break out of

your wall of guarded reserve in order

to offer acts of empathy, or to develop

the skill of digging out your own and

other people’s transferences in a nonjudgmental fashion. But I’m convinced

that everyone can learn to do dialogue,

and that each one who does gives a gift

to us all.

Daniel Yankelovich is the author of The

Magic of Dialogue. This article first

appeared in Spirituality and Health; it is

reprinted with permission.

Strategies for 

Successful Dialogue

The following is a checklist of strategies

for successful dialogue.Yankelovich’s book,

The Magic of Dialogue, explains each one 

in detail.

1. Check for the presence of all three

core requirements of dialogue —

equality, empathy, and openness — and

learn how to introduce missing ones.

This is the bedrock strategy; without it

you do not have dialogue.

2. Focus on common interests, not the

divisive ones.

3. Keep dialogue and decision-making

separate and compartmentalized.

4. Clarify assumptions that lead to 

subculture distortions.

5. Offer your own assumptions before

speculating on those of others.

6. Use specific cases to raise general

issues.

7. Focus on conflicts between value systems, not persons.

8. When appropriate, express the 

emotions that accompany strongly

held values.

9. Initiate dialogue through an act 

of empathy.

10. Be sure trust exists before addressing

transference distortions.

11. Where applicable, identify mistrust as

the real source of misunderstandings.

12. Err on the side of including people

who disagree.

13. Encourage relationships in order to

humanize transactions.

14. Expose old scripts to a reality check.

15. Minimize the level of mistrust before 

pursuing practical objectives.
National Head Start Bulletin ▼ Conflict Management 15

Like most businesses, Head Start

programs already have dispute

resolution procedures in place

for disputes like violations of equal

opportunity and safety laws.These procedures are often spelled out by law, a

contract, or a regulation.

The focus of this article, however,

is on the minor, low-level disputes and

disagreements for which Head Start

programs (and most other organizations) seldom have established dispute

resolution procedures. Although such

disputes are common and affect more

people in the organization than, for

example, an OSHA (Occupational Safety

& Health Administration) violation, they

are often overlooked by managers.

Providing procedures to remedy

low-level disputes in organizations can

also be a way to improve the delivery of

services, overall workplace morale, and

general effectiveness. The following

steps introduce a framework for analyzing and addressing a Head Start program’s unmet dispute resolution needs.

1.Recognize that an “informal”

system is already in place. As disputes

arise and nothing is done about

them, they may “go away” on their

own, or they may accumulate and

grow into major problems.

2.Assess the cost of doing nothing. The

accumulation of unresolved grievances can lead to a climate of disgruntlement and dissatisfaction.

3.Identify the current “culture of conflict.”

Where low-level resolution efforts

are not encouraged or attempted, a

culture of “dispute denial and avoidance” is created.The messages informally circulated within the organization include the ideas that disputes

are “bad”; they must be ignored,

avoided, or denied; they do not warrant official recognition or attention;

and they will get one in trouble.The

products of such a “default” dispute

resolution system are often dissatisfaction, dysfunction, and complaints.

4.Collaboratively assess conflict and its

costs. An assessment should be made

of the number, types, and nature of

disputes that occur at the lowest

organizational level. Examples include

personality clashes and professional

practice disagreements. It is important to include people in the assessment who have different views of

how dispute resolution is currently

conducted.

5.Identify conflict management goals.

One positive result of an assessment

is that participants are often able to

identify common goals.Targeting simple, clear, and measurable conflict

management goals in a Head Start

program is critical to any improvement effort.

6. Collaboratively design an early intervention approach and evaluate it. With

goals identified, a Head Start program

design committee should develop initial procedures to intervene early

and preemptively in low-level disputes. Start small with a tentative

approach. Try a pilot combination of

measures and assess whether it is

effective. Always evaluate efforts and

be prepared to adjust.

Christina Sickles Merchant is a dispute resolution practitioner, designer, and consultant

for workplace disputes.This article is reprinted,in part,from the Spring 1997 issue of the

Head Start Bulletin on Managing Change/

Managing Conflict.

Preventing, Preempting, and Resolving Conflicts in

the Workplace

By Christina Sickles Merchant

Debate

1. Assuming that there is a right answer and that you 

have it

2. Combative: participants attempt to prove the other 

side wrong

3. About winning

4. Listening to find flaws and make counter arguments

5. Defending assumptions as truth

6. Critiquing the other side’s position

7. Defending one’s own views against those of others

8. Searching for flaws and weaknesses in other positions

9. Seeking a conclusion or vote that ratifies your position

Dialogue

1. Assuming that many people have pieces of the answer

and that together they craft a new solution

2. Collaborative: participants work together toward 

common understanding

3. About exploring common ground

4. Listening to understand, find meaning and agreement

5. Revealing assumptions for re-evaluation

6. Re-examining all positions

7. Admitting that others’ thinking can improve one’s own

8. Searching for strengths and value in others’ positions

9. Discovering new options, not seeking closure

Are We Doing Dialogue Yet?

Most people talk about the four D’s — dialogue, debate, deliberation, and discussion — interchangeably. Fortunately, practitioners of genuine dialogue have learned how to distinguish dialogue from other forms of conversation.The most revealing

distinctions are those that contrast dialogue and debate.The following list is adapted from the writings of Mark Gerzon.
Conflict Management

16 Conflict Management ▼ National Head Start Bulletin

Conflict Management and Young Children

Helping Children Deal with Everyday Problems

Anyone who has ever worked

with children knows that they

often disagree. Whether it is

about sharing their favorite toy, pushing,

name calling, or the general unfairness

of life, children often come running to

their teachers looking for help in

resolving conflicts. And most of the

time, teachers are more than willing to

help the children resolve their conflicts.

What teachers might not realize

is that it might be more helpful to

refrain from resolving a minor conflict

between children through an adultdirected solution (assuming that the

conflict has not turned harmful to

either child involved). In her article

“Peer Conflicts in the Classroom,”

Edyth Wheeler notes, “Recent theory

and research . . . suggest that peer conflict contributes to children’s development and represents an important

form of social interaction.” Often, preschool children are quite capable of

solving conflicts on their own.

That doesn’t mean that teachers

don’t have a role to play in conflict management.There are many things teachers

can do to help children understand and

control their feelings of anger and frustration, including helping them develop

conflict management strategies.

Strategies for Teachers

Some of the steps that teachers can

take to support children in learning to

manage and resolve conflict include:

• Creating a safe emotional climate.

Foster a classroom where emotions

are accepted and anger is not

shamed.

• Modeling responsible anger management. If conflicts arise between

teachers or adults, model behavior

through negotiation, mediation, or

some other conflict management

strategy.

• Helping children to develop self-regulatory skills. As children grow out of

toddlerhood, they begin to be able to

regulate and describe their feelings.

• Encouraging children to label feelings

of anger. One activity that can help

children is the Anger Thermometer.

In her article “Preventing Violence

through Anger Management,” Mary

Drecktrah describes the activity:

“Children color in the picture of a

thermometer to show how upset

they are, write or tell what caused

the anger, and think of ways to handle

the situation next time.” Children can

color anywhere on the thermometer

from annoyed to enraged.This experience helps children think and talk

about how angry or frustrated they

are and is especially useful for children who have a hard time expressing their emotions.

• Encourage children to talk about

anger-arousing interactions. Create a

space in the classroom where children can have privacy and feel comfortable talking about a problem

calmly. A teacher should be visible in

case adult intervention is necessary.

• Use books and stories about anger to

help children understand and manage

anger. There are many children’s

books that can help children learn to

deal with conflict and stressful situations.

• Communicate with parents.Talk with

parents about the conflict management strategies being used in the

classroom and provide information

on labeling anger and using words to

describe emotions.

References:

Drecktrah, M. & Wallenfang,A. (1999).

Preventing Violence through Anger

Management. Early Childhood News,

November/December 1999, 24-31.

Wheeler, E. (1994). Peer Conflicts in the

Classroom. ERIC Digest.
Conflict Management

National Head Start Bulletin ▼ Conflict Management 17

It Might Be More Than 

a Classroom Conflict

Children are often labeled as “problem children” when they have a difficult time getting along with their peers. Instead, what

you might be witnessing is a child who needs additional help trying to cope with a very stressful home environment.

Children living in multi-stressed environments might exhibit such behaviors as:

Living with high levels of stress can take a toll on young children’s development in both direct and indirect ways. For

example, children may not receive immunizations or medical

care, they may not have safe places to play, or they may not

have enough food at mealtimes. Parents’ energies are often

focused on meeting the family’s most basic needs:food,clothing, shelter, and safety. There may be little time to focus on

meeting the less obvious social and emotional needs of

young children; therefore, children may not receive the emotional support they need to grow and develop.

The Head Start Bureau has responded to the needs of

program staff in this area. Responding to Children Under Stress:

A Skill-Based Training Guide for Classroom Teams suggests 

practical strategies for dealing effectively with children 

who live in multi-stress environments. Participating in this

training program can also provide ongoing support for classroom teams.

To order copies of Responding to Children Under Stress: A SkillBased Training Guide for Classroom Teams, contact the Head

Start Publications Management Center at puborder@hskidstmsc.org or fax a request to 703-683-5769.

Developmental

Differences

• Developmental delays, especially in

language, fine and gross motor, and

social skills.

• Developmental lags or regression

to previous stages.

The Daily Program,

Routines, and Transitions

• Sleep problems, including difficulty

falling asleep and waking up, and

nightmares.

• Too tired to participate in activities.

• Difficulty using utensils (forks,

knives, spoons).

• Short attention span, quickly moving from one activity to another.

Interactions with Other

Children

• Intrudes in other children’s play.

• Has trouble reading social cues

from peers.

• Has difficulty playing and negotiating with peers.

Family Relationships

• Forms strong bonds with siblings

and/or takes care of younger siblings.

• Shows frequent, repeated ambivalent avoidance behavior towards

parents.

Mental Health

• Moods change quickly and without

notice.

• Unable to relax.

• Appears to lack self-esteem; does

not want to try new tasks; seems

to be afraid of failing.

• Seeks attention and physical 

contact indiscriminately.

• Clings to people and possessions.

Behavior Issues

• Acts out to seek attention.

• Displays aggressive behaviors.

• Is extremely withdrawn or quiet.
Conflict Management

18 Conflict Management ▼ National Head Start Bulletin

Negotiating with Toddlers

By Patricia D. Nixon

We have all heard the term,“terrible twos.” What

is it that makes this such an infamous time in child

development? This stage can be challenging for

caregivers and toddlers alike, as each toddler tries to find a

balance between autonomy and dependence.

Differing opinions about how to handle toddler behaviors are common in group care settings, and as caregivers we

need to have regular talks together to share ideas. Essentially,

we try to provide an environment that appreciates toddler

individuality while providing support as toddlers work

through conflict situations. Negotiating is a method of communicating we use with toddlers and model with each other,

which teaches toddlers how to get their needs met while

being respectful of the needs of others.

Fostering a healthy sense of self-esteem and nurturing

a beginning awareness of and respect for others are two of

the most critical components of quality child care. Every

interaction, every connection, is perceived by each child differently. It is important, then, to consider individual children

and where they are coming from, as well as their developmental stages. Often, this is best learned through observation

and processing with other adults. Respect, responsiveness,

and reciprocity are the three R’s commonly used to describe

an ideal relationship between caregiver and child, one that

fosters self-esteem and builds relationships.

Younger children are often egocentric.Though we have

all seen children show concern when they hear a friend crying, their general perception of the world is that it revolves

around them. Sharing and being sympathetic are skills that

may take years to learn and should be encouraged,

not forced.

But children are also mirrors. They reflect back what

they see and hear.Adults know this and are aware that they

are role models. Starting with a healthy, open, respectful relationship, negotiating with toddlers becomes an important

opportunity for learning, and guidance becomes a preventive

measure rather than an aftermath.

Following is a list of 10 strategies to consider when

negotiating with toddlers:

1. Be aware of each child and his or her means and methods

of communication. Is Suzette pulling on Thomas’ hair

because she is frustrated with him, enjoying the power to

make him yell, or learning that hair is attached? Does she

have words to use? Is this the first time she has done this

or the twelfth? This type of information provides parents

and caregivers with a better perspective toward helping

Suzette.

2. Know yourself and your own emotions. Adults have the

same needs and feelings as children do. Model healthy

acceptance of the child’s emotional development by

acknowledging that we have similar feelings. It is important

to remember that a calm voice and reassuring manner can

be effective tools in negotiating with an upset or excited

child.
Conflict Management

National Head Start Bulletin ▼ Conflict Management 19

3. Be authentic — that is honest, real,

and nonjudgmental — in adult-child

interactions. Then children learn to

trust and predict. When we are

respectful, children perceive that they

are worthy of respect, as are others.

4.Validate feelings. It is OK for children

to cry or be afraid or feel frustrated.

It may be beneficial to give labels to

the emotions (for example,“Are you

feeling sad? Do you want to come

and sit with me?” or “It looks like you

really want to use the toy that

Darnell is using”). Often people just

want their frustrations to be

acknowledged, their feelings accepted. By encouraging children to

express themselves verbally, we are

also facilitating language development.

5. Address the behavior, not the child,

when a behavior occurs that is not

appropriate. For example, if a child is

acting aggressively toward another

child, try statements such as,“Hitting

hurts people. If you are angry with

Christiana, please talk to her.” (This is

preferable to “You’re being a bad girl.

You know not to hit!”) Redirection is

often helpful too (for instance, “It is

not safe to run in the classroom.

Would you like to go outside and

run?”).

6. Offer real choices whenever possible. Allowing children to make a

choice shows them respect and

empowers them.“Do you want your

diaper changed?” is not a real choice.

Instead, try “It’s time to change your

diaper. Would you like to choose

your new diaper or should I?"

7. Give notice on upcoming transitions.

By giving a five-minute warning before

cleanup time,you allow children to finish their play or make arrangements to

do so later.There is security and comfort in knowing what will be happening

next.

8. Explain rules clearly and concisely

(several sentences are usually sufficient). Again, young children find

security in predictability; therefore, it

is important to have clear guidelines

and as few rules as possible. Be

prompt and consistent, and follow

through with consequences. When

this is not possible, use individualized

consequences specific to the child

and the situation.

9. Allow time for problem solving.This

is a tricky area. It is difficult to watch

children struggle. Our first impulse is

to “make it better” and find the easiest solution. However, being supportive and allowing time for the child to

work things out to his or her satisfaction have many benefits.Watch for

the smile on a child’s face when he or

she figures out how to put together

a puzzle or solves a social problem

on his or her own! Learning and selfconfidence grow from moderately

stressful situations — situations that

challenge a child but that she or he

can handle. By observing individual

behavior, we learn when to intercede

to prevent frustration or feelings of

helplessness.

10.Acknowledge efforts and successes.

Positive reinforcement can be very

important to a child.When you hear

a child who often bites say instead,“I

don’t like that,” a comment such as

“Twyla! I heard you use your words”

can be very validating.

As challenging as this stage of development can be for toddlers and their

caregivers, it is also a time of delightful

exploration and fascinated wonder.

Language is blossoming and friendships

are blooming. Communication styles

and negotiation skills are an integral

part of who we are. By facilitating and

supporting this process with toddlers,

we are contributing to their social and

emotional development and well-being.

Patricia Nixon is the lead teacher of the

infant/toddler classroom at the Children’s

Center at the University of California in

Santa Barbara, California, E: trischi@silcom.com.
Conflict Management

The exchange of conflict resolution strategies and current diversity issues was invaluable to practitioners,attorneys, Head Start staff, and parents during a preconference day at the National Head Start Association

(NHSA) 27th Annual Training Conference. Everyone who

attended was committed to exploring current and future

Head Start initiatives to help Head Start staff, parents, and

children develop quality internal dispute resolution policies,

systems, and skills.

The day focused on reports from successful conflict

resolution models within the Head Start community. Dispute

resolution resources in the areas of curriculum, literature,

education, future funding streams, and new techniques being

used in the field were presented.

The keynote speaker, S.Y. Bowland, a registered neutral

with the Supreme Court of Georgia and faculty member of

Columbia College, spoke on diversity issues and on encouraging young people to engage in different patterns of conflict

resolution — patterns that focus on problem solving and

compassion.

Presenters also focused on the critical challenge that

faces our communities: expanding community capacity to use

appropriate conflict resolution skills in schools, neighborhoods, and the community at large. Most Americans have limited interpersonal communication and problem solving skills.

Unless alternative, more appropriate communication and

conflict resolution skills are taught and modeled, we will continue to model and reinforce negative conflict resolution

methods with our children.

Models for Adults

Two conflict resolution models for adults were presented.

The first originated in Kent County, Michigan, where a pilot

project between Kent Co. Head Start and the Dispute

Resolution Center of West Michigan (a non-profit community mediation program) found resources and created a dispute resolution program. Mary Bantle, Head Start Director,

and Deb Zondervan, past Executive Director of the Dispute

Resolution Center, discussed an implementation and curriculum guide they developed that taught appropriate conflict

resolution skills to staff, parents, and preschool children.

The second project, the Orleans Community Action

Committee Head Start in New York State, described its

efforts in partnering with a community counseling center to

reframe conflict and turn past negative experiences into positive growth for staff and parents. Bonnie Malakie, community counselor, and Kathryn Fernandez, Head Start Director

and 1999-2000 Head Start Fellow, described how this project worked and how to accept conflict to turn it into a

growth opportunity.

The pre-conference day also highlighted other efforts

around the country in the area of conflict management.

Joanne Hartman, Associate Director of the National

Association for Community Mediation (NAFCM) described

the benefits of partnering with a community mediation center. She offered answers to such questions as: How does a

Head Start program and community mediation center begin

a partnership? What are the challenges of such a partnership?

Are there funding streams to support this partnership?

Conflict Management and Young Children

Conflict management and young children was also an important topic for the day. Conflict and the way it is managed play

a significant role in children’s cognitive and social development. Research looking at conflict resolution education

shows that young children are competent problem solvers

and that the early childhood years are important ones for

learning about resolving conflict. Marsha S. Blakeway, a Fellow

from the National Peace Foundation, discussed an extensive

array of early childhood educational resources that are available today. (Some of these are listed in the Resources section of this Bulletin.)

Two models developed specifically for use with young

children were also presented. The first was the PEACE

Project (Promoting Empathetic

Attitudes, Communication and

Emotions), a two-year study

developed by Anita Vestal,

a Head Start Research

Scholar. This study is

designed to assess

how training in

conflict resolution, peace education, and violence prevention

impacts Head Start

teachers and the children in

their classrooms.Anita described a

Head Start center where the environment

supports staff as well as parents and children. Problems are

solved collaboratively, and there is a process in place for

resolving conflict as it arises. Facilitators are available to

mediate issues. Feelings are recognized and respected. Active

A Day Dedicated to Conflict Resolution

By K. Fernandez, S.Y. Bowland, M. Bantle, B. Malakie, M. Blakeway, and A.Vestal

20 Conflict Management ▼ National Head Start Bulletin
and reflective listening is the norm. In a

peaceful classroom, teachers facilitate

recognition and acceptance of feelings

and promote acts of kindness, generosity, and empowerment. Peaceful centers

and classrooms share the vision for

peace in the homes of the children and

involve parents in peace-building

efforts.

Mardy Burgess from Children’s

Creative Response to Conflict (CCRC)

presented the second model. She

described her work with a Head Start

program in Alexandria, Virginia, where

staff discovered how to build a classroom community that reduces conflict

through activities that teach affirmation, communication, cooperation, and

bias awareness. Conflicts were seen as

educational opportunities, and problem-solving techniques were practiced

to find a proactive resolution to specific challenges.

The Program 

Performance Standards

The pre-conference day also focused

on issues specific to Head Start, primarily the Program Performance

Standards and impasse policies. The

Program Performance Standards define

an impasse as a gridlock that occurs

when the Grantee Governing Board

and the Policy Council cannot reach

agreement on an anticipated act. The

standards state: "Each grantee and delegate agency and Policy Council or

Policy Committee jointly must establish

written procedures for resolving internal disputes, including impasse procedures, between the governing body and

policy group" [1304.50 (h)]. Ron Hunt

from the American Indian Head Start

Quality Improvement Center (QIC)

and Kathryn Fernandez discussed formats being used in different areas of the

country.

Networking Opportunities

The conflict resolution work group is

looking for new members who would

like to exchange information and ideas

through a listserve. This same group

would like to organize another preconference day dedicated to 

conflict resolution issues at the 

2001 NHSA Conference. If you are

interested in becoming involved, please

contact JoAn Knight Herren, Chief 

of the Head Start Bureau’s Training 

and Technical Assistance Branch, at 

jherren@acf.dhhs.gov.

Conflict Management

National Head Start Bulletin ▼ Conflict Management 21

For more information on any of the topics discussed during this

year’s pre-conference session, the presenters can be contacted

directly:

S.Y. Bowland Sybow@aol.com (678) 457-6393

Deborah Zondervan zondervan@triton.net (616) 774-0121

Bonnie Malakie OCACHS@aol.com (716) 589-5683

Joanne Hartman jhartman@nafcm.org (202) 667-9700

Marsha S. Blakeway mblakeway@igc.org (202) 547-9522

Mardy Burgess ccrcca@juno.com (301) 270-1005

Anita Vestal Anita_Vestal@cs.com (954) 788-9960

Mary Bantle — (616) 453-4145

Any questions concerning the 2000 NHSA pre-conference day on

conflict resolution can be addressed to the planning committee:

Marcia Abbo maabbo@aol.com (202) 362-4173

Kathryn Fernandez kcfkkate1@aol.com (202) 205-5931

Ijlal Haqq haqq.1@osu.edu (618) 457-8759

Ron Hunt Aihsqic4@aol.com 1+(800) 379-3869
Conflict Management

Conflict Resolution for Head Start: 

A Pilot Program

By Deb Zondervan

22 Conflict Management ▼ National Head Start Bulletin

I

n 1995, the Head Start Bureau launched an initiative to

test and refine a conflict resolution training model for

Head Start parents, staff, and children. Partners in the

project included the National Association for Community

Mediation (NAFCM) and the National Institute for Dispute

Resolution (NIDR), now the Conflict Resolution and

Education Network (CREnet). Although no national funding

was available for the project, Kent County Head Start and

the Dispute Resolution Center of West Michigan were able

to secure $110,000 in local funding to pilot the program.

The challenge facing this community was to expand

local capacity to use appropriate conflict resolution skills in

schools, neighborhoods, and the community at large. The

specific parent population served by Kent County Head Start

dealt was overwhelmingly at risk.High rates of poverty,incarceration of at least one parent, and low educational levels

were typical. These parents also had limited interpersonal

communication and problem solving skills. Unless more

appropriate communication and conflict resolution skills

were taught to and modeled for Head Start parents, they

would continue to model and reinforce negative conflict resolution methods to their children.

Michigan Family Resources/Kent Co. Head Start, like

Head Start programs throughout the country, has made parent involvement a cornerstone of their Head Start program.

Parent committees for individual Head Start sites, and a

Policy Council for the entire county, are charged with setting

programs’ goals and budgets for the 19 Head Start programs

in Kent County. Teaching parents to use effective communication and conflict resolution skills will increase their capacity to participate effectively in the management of Head Start

programs, and will also benefit them as parents and community members.

A partnership between Head Start and the Dispute

Resolution Center to train staff and parents to use and

model appropriate conflict resolution skills is a natural bridge

to extend these skills to preschoolers and their parents.

Anticipated benefits of the project include: increased knowledge and use of conflict resolution (CR) skills by parents and

Head Start staff; increased staff capacity to manage interpersonal disputes without third party intervention; increased

parent use of appropriate CR skills within the Head Start

Policy Committees, Policy Councils and the home; and a system-wide dispute resolution continuum for Head Start staff

and parents, including both interpersonal conflict resolution

and violence prevention skills, with an internal capacity for

providing mediation to back up interpersonal conflict resolution skills.

Two project goals were set and accomplished.The first

goal was to train and coach Head Start staff and parents in

the use of appropriate conflict resolution skills and strategies. These skills were to be used interpersonally and as a

model for preschoolers. The purpose was to break ineffective, sometimes violent patterns and to teach Head Start

preschoolers age-appropriate conflict resolution skills and

concepts.

Looking at the preschool curricula available, project

participants discovered that no existing curricula really fit

project objectives.This led to a new curriculum being written based on four Key Learnings: emotions, communication,

alternative solutions, and consequences.

The second goal of the project was to embed conflict

resolution skills and values into the Head Start governing

procedures, including the parent Policy Council and the parent committees that provide oversight to each Head Start

program site. In an effort to realize this goal, parent policy

council members received six hours of skills training during

the first year of the program.The Dispute Resolution Center

then worked with a policy council subcommittee to develop

an internal dispute resolution process that incorporates

mediation as a first step in dispute resolution.

Based on feedback from participants, trainers, and staff,

program planners are revising the curriculum to make it

more "user friendly." A training for trainers manual is also

being created in the hope that Head Start staff will be able

to continue the parent and staff training after the initial grant

funding ends. Currently, several Head Start staff members

along with a few parents are taking the full 40-hour basic

mediation training from the Dispute Resolution Center, so

that internal disputes may be mediated on site, if necessary.

Deb Zondervan works as a consultant for Girl Scout USA staff

nationally and served as the executive director for the Dispute

Resolution Center of West Michigan for nine years. Local funding for

the pilot project was provided by the Frey Foundation and Spectrum

Health Community Benefits. For more information on this project,

please contact the Dispute Resolution Center at T:616-774-0121 or

at www.igc.org/grcwestmich/, or Mary E. Bantle, Executive Director,

Michigan Family Resource, 1805 Bristol, N.W., Grand Rapids,

Michigan 49504.T: 616-453-4145.
Conflict Management

National Head Start Bulletin ▼ Conflict Management 23

The National Association

for Community Mediation

The National Association for

Community Mediation (NAFCM) supports the growth and maintenance of

community-based mediation programs

and processes; presents a compelling

voice in appropriate legislative, professional, and other arenas; and encourages the development and sharing of

resources for these efforts.

Today there are more than 550

community mediation centers in the

U.S. that help people, organizations, and

communities in conflict. These centers

deal with a wide variety of disputes,

including interpersonal, family, neighborhood, and community conflicts.

Centers also help with divorce and custody issues, juvenile and school conflicts, and parent and child disputes.

Many centers work closely with and

receive referrals from courts and other

agencies.

For a list of NAFCM centers or for 

more information, contact NAFCM at 

T: 202-667-9700 or visit their Web site 

at www.nafcm.org.

NIDR and CREnet 

“...for a more civil society”

The National Institute for Dispute

Resolution (NIDR) is a nonprofit corporation that receives funding from a

growing number of supporters who

understand the value of collaborative

decision-making and alternative means

of resolving disputes. NIDR advances

the field of consensus-building and conflict resolution through a variety of

efforts, including technical assistance

and coaching; educational programs;

consulting; demonstration projects;

evaluation; and publications.

NIDR maintains the nation's

largest database of individuals and

organizations in the field of conflict resolution. It also helps ensure the effectiveness of conflict resolution services

through a focus on research, evaluation,

and the documentation and dissemination of innovations in the field.

In 1995, the National Association

for Mediation in Education (NAME)

merged with NIDR to form the Conflict

Resolution Education Network

(CREnet). CREnet promotes the 

development, implementation, and institutionalization of school and universitybased conflict resolution programs 

and curricula.

For more information, contact NIDR at 

T: 202-667-9700 or visit their Web site at

www.crenet.org.

SPIDR

The Society of Professionals in Dispute

Resolution (SPIDR) was organized to

perform three primary functions:

• Guard the standards and ethics of the

field of dispute resolution and collaborative decision-making;

• Develop the intellectual and professional roots of the field and educate

the public about various dispute resolution procedures that are available

to clarify the expanding role of the

conflict resolver; and 

• Support its members and provide

them with tangible and intangible

membership benefits.

As a professional membership

organization, SPIDR promotes the professionalism of conflict resolvers at local,

regional,national,and international levels

through its conferences, training institutes, chapters, and specialty areas.

SPIDR is committed to producing and

educating the present practitioners 

of this ancient art and, through its 

Youth Initiative, to support the future

development of peacemakers for the

21st century.

For more information, contact SPIDR at 

T: 202-667-9700, or visit its Web site at

www.spidr.org.

Peace Education

Foundation

The Peace Education Foundation (PEF)

is a non-profit educational organization

established in 1980. PEF's mission is to

educate children and adults in the

dynamics of conflict and to promote

peacemaking skills in homes, schools,

and communities throughout the

world. It provides educational materials, training, and innovative programming aimed at making nonviolent conflict resolution a way of life.

PEF offers grade-level-specific,

classroom-tested curricula for pre-K

through grade 12, as well as training and

implementation assistance. The general

purpose of the PEF model is to teach

social competency and conflict resolution skills and create a school environment based on trust, caring, and

respect. While each curriculum is presented in a developmentally appropriate format, PEF curricula as a whole

have a unified scope and sequence of

content and skills. These curricula are

being used in more than 20,000 schools

around the world.

For more information, contact the Peace

Education Foundation at www.peace-ed.org

or call T: 1-800-749-8838.

RESOURCES
Conflict Management

Ounce of Prevention

24 Conflict Management ▼ National Head Start Bulletin

The Ounce of Prevention Fund

asserts that early preventive

measures during childhood are

essential in reducing violent behavior

among the adult population. In Safe

Start: How Early Experiences Can Help

Reduce Violence, the Fund outlines several factors that contribute to violent

behavior, provide evidence that early

childhood interventions help to reduce

crime, and highlight a number of these

promising interventions.

For the purpose of this article,

violence is defined as acts of physical

aggression which are disproportionate

to a given situation and, consequently,

extend beyond the limits of social

acceptance. Research has shown that

there are certain factors which contribute to high levels of violent behavior

in our communities and that there are

known interventions which have been

effective in addressing these factors.

How does one prevent 

violent behavior?

The first answer to this question comes

relatively easily for most: caregivers

should help children understand the

difference between right and wrong

and between what is acceptable behavior and what is not. A second

response—learning self-control—is

not an ability a child naturally possesses; rather it is one a child must learn

from parents and caregivers.

Emotional regulation, a more

technical term for self control, refers to

the ability to match emotional responses and behavior to the specific

demands of a situation.As many parents

are aware, given a newborn’s seemingly

constant inclination to cry at the slightest distress, an infant has a relatively

small capacity for emotional regulation.

Furthermore, when a child grows older,

it becomes even more difficult as more

self control challenges emerge. When

they become toddlers, children begin to

reach out to grab toys, crawl and walk;

aggressive behaviors soon follow. They

grab others’ toys and strike out at their

playmates. Therefore, in order to help

prevent these aggressive behaviors,

caregivers must teach children how to

respond appropriately when they are

confronted with frustrating situations

or with feelings of anger and jealousy.

Techniques offered by the

authors include teaching children suitable ways to express their feelings and

modeling appropriate behavior. When

children misbehave, caregivers should

be deliberate in discouraging the unacceptable behavior. Early experiences in

learning self control contribute to helping children develop the capacity to

form caring relationships as adults.

Furthermore, it is important to start

early because it has been shown that

children who exhibit behavior problems are at a greater risk for becoming

violent adults.

What are some early risk 

factors for violence?

Several factors are related to the

propensity for violence. These include

child abuse or neglect, witnessing violence, brain damage, lead poisoning, and

poor prenatal care and nutrition. Many

children who experience one or two of

these factors will not become violent

adults.When a child experiences several of the risk factors, however, the likelihood that they may act violently as an

adult increases.

Evidence shows that children

who have been abused are more likely

to abuse their own children.

Furthermore, the majority of inmates

in jail for violent crimes such as aggravated assault, rape and murder were

abused or neglected as children. Early

intervention can stop this cycle of violence. Positive parent/child relationships, not based around punishment

and abuse, also help to protect children

from other influential risk factors such

as community violence, later abuse in

life, and negative peer pressure.

Another risk factor contributing

to violent behavior is witnessing violence as a child. Though the long-term

consequences are not yet clear, preliminary evidence indicates that children

who witness violence are at a greater

risk for becoming violent as adults.

Likewise, suffering brain damage, either

through physical injury or through prenatal exposure to alcohol and other

drugs, plays a role in whether or not

one behaves violently as an adult.

What are some promising 

interventions that address the

risk factors for violence?

Positive early interventions also play a

role in whether or not a child grows

into an adult likely to commit violence.

Interventions such as home visiting,

parent support programs, early childhood education and care, and support

for children who witness acts of violence, attempt to support the healthy

development of a child and reduce the

risk factors associated with violent

behavior. Community-based home visiting programs provide parents with

advice, relevant information, and support, help them understand and

respond to their child’s behavior and

help them foster their child’s capacity

for self control and caring. Another

intervention, early childhood education

and care, has been shown to be most

effective when there is support for parents and when health care is provided

as needed.

In a supportive environment of

parent support programs, early childhood education and care and counseling services (for children who witness

violent acts or are targets of violence),

children can better develop the social

and cognitive skills necessary to pursue

healthy, non violent relationships.

For more information on Safe Start, contact

the Ounce of Prevention Fund at T:312-922-

3863.
Literacy

National Head Start Bulletin ▼ Conflict Management 25

Head Start Family Literacy Project

By Trellis Waxler

Since its inception, Head Start

has worked to enhance children’s school readiness and parents’ efforts to become self-sufficient

and support their child’s development

and learning. Building on these efforts,

the Head Start Bureau has launched a

new initiative to support all programs

in implementing comprehensive family

literacy services, defined in Head Start’s

recent legislation as: (1) age-appropriate education services to prepare children for success in school and life

experiences; (2) interactive literacy

activities between parents and children;

(3) training for parents in being the primary teachers for their children and full

partners in the education of their children; and (4) parent literacy training

that leads to economic self-sufficiency.

The Head Start Family Literacy

Project (HSFLP), a new five-year cooperative agreement with the National

Center for Family Literacy (NCFL), will

provide training and technical assistance to enhance the capacity of Head

Start and Early Head Start grantees to

implement comprehensive family literacy services.

In partnership with the Head

Start Bureau,ACF Regional Offices, and

the Head Start Training and Technical

Assistance Network, NCFL will:

• Conduct orientation workshops at

the national, regional, and state levels

on how comprehensive family literacy services can

enhance the

quality and outcomes of Head

Start and Early

Head Start children and families.

• Provide management training

to leadership

teams from local

grantee agencies

in how to plan

and support

integrated,

intensive, and

comprehensive

family literacy

services.

• Provide family literacy implementation

training to teachers, adult educators,

coordinators, family service staff, and

other frontline workers and partners.

• Offer customized technical assistance

to local grantees to assist in adaptation of family literacy strategies to

specific community and program settings.

• Support more widespread and effective

partnerships among Head Start, Even

Start, and other family literacy, early

care and education leaders, programs,

and funding sources at the local, state,

regional, and national levels.

The HSFLP will provide these services

through: (1) a cadre of Certified Family

Literacy Training Specialists, housed at

NCFL and at several Head Start Quality

Improvement Centers; (2) a nationwide

network of promising practice family

literacy sites that are representative of

Head Start and Early Head Start program options and strategies; and (3) a

variety of materials and resources that

will be available in print, on an information hotline, and via the Internet.

Trellis Waxler is an Education Specialist in

the Head Start Bureau’s Education

Services Branch; T: 202-205-8422;

E: twaxler@acf.dhhs.gov. For general information on the family literacy initiative, call

the PARADE Family Literacy Info Line at 

T: 1-877-FAMLIT-1. For specific information

on the Head Start Family Literacy Project,

contact Sharyl Emberton or Bonnie Lash

Freeman, Project Co-Directors, at NCFL at

T: 1-502-584-1133.

HEAD START BUREAU UPDATE
Conflict Management

26 Conflict Management ▼ National Head Start Bulletin

Early Childhood Adventures

in Peacemaking, 2nd edition 

By William J. Kreidler and Sandy

Tsubokawa Whittall 

This unique activity guide uses games,

music, art, drama, and storytelling to

teach young children

effective, nonviolent

ways to resolve conflicts. It gives early

childhood caregivers tools for 

helping young

children develop 

key conflict resolution skills,

including communication,

cooperation,

expressing

feelings, managing anger,

and appreciating diversity.

This newly revised edition contains:

• An introduction to developmentally

appropriate practice, with sections

on stages of child development in

each skill-based chapter.

• Tips on setting up your classroom

space and materials to minimize conflict and make the most of opportunities for social and emotional learning.

• Step-by-step instructions for incorporating core social and emotional

skills into your daily routines.

• Strategies and suggestions for troubleshooting when things don't go

exactly as planned.

• Additional activities and materials for

parents that help them reinforce the

themes, skills, and concepts of the

Peaceable Program at home. A

provider kit is also available containing many items to use in conjunction

with the activity guide, as well as

numerous children's books, cassettes, and more.

The cost of this publication is $24.95 for 

nonmembers and $22.46 for members.To

order call T: 1-800-370-2515 or visit 

www.esrnational.org.

Teaching Young Children in

Violent Times: Building a

Peaceable Classroom

By Diane E. Levin, Ph.D.

Teaching Young Children in Violent Times

helps preschool through grade 3 teachers create a classroom where children

learn peaceful alternatives to the violent behaviors modeled for them in

society.

Part I of this

guide explores the

developmental roots

of young children's

thinking and behaviors on issues ranging from conflict to

prejudice to violence, and provides

a cultural context

for the violence in

children's lives.

Dialogues

between young

children and teachers are offered with a framework for

teachers to extend children's thinking in

developmentally appropriate ways.

Part II includes practical guidelines and activities for creating a

Peaceable Classroom. Learn how to

use puppetry, games, play, class charts,

curriculum webs, and graphs to help

young children resolve their conflicts

peacefully and respect one another's

differences.

The cost of this publication is $21.95 for 

nonmembers and $19.76 for members.

To order call T: 1-800-370-2515 or visit 

www.esrnational.org.

Anti-Bias Curriculum:Tools

for Empowering Young

Children 

by Louise Derman-Sparks,

A.B.C.Task Force 

This curriculum offers suggestions for

helping staff and children respect each

other as individuals and confronting, transcending,

and eliminating barriers

based on race, culture,

gender, or ability.

Chapters include: why an

anti-bias curriculum; creating an anti-bias environment; learning about racial

differences and similarities; learning about disabilities; learning about gender

identity; learning about cultural differences and similarities; learning to resist

stereotyping and discriminaRESOURCES

Educators for Social Responsibility

Educators for Social Responsibility is a nonprofit organization providing innovative curriculum materials and

teacher training programs that focus on issues of peacemaking and conflict resolution. ESR’s work fosters

social, emotional, and ethical development among children by helping them learn to care about others,

resolve conflicts nonviolently, solve problems cooperatively, value diversity, make responsible decisions, confront prejudice, and take positive, meaningful action. The following two resources are available through ESR:
Conflict Management

National Head Start Bulletin ▼ Conflict Management 27

tory behavior; and working with 

parents.

The cost of this publication is $8.00.To order,

visit NAEYC’s Web site at www.naeyc.org or

call T: 800-424-2460 ext. 604.

Valuing Diversity:The

Primary Years 

by Janet McCracken 

Looking to the next generation, our

challenge is to support children's selfesteem and self-discipline, respect individual and group differences, teach children to resolve conflicts peaceably, and

encourage cooperation.The ideas contained in this book will inspire teachers

to find creative ways to value diversity

within and beyond the classroom.

The cost of this publication is $5.00.To order,

visit NAEYC’s Web site at www.naeyc.org or

call T: 800-424-2460 ext. 604.

Peacemaking Skills for

Little Kids, Pre-K-2

By Fran Schmidt and Alice Friedman

This publication from the Peace

Education Foundation is filled with fun

activities, games, songs, and puzzles. It

helps to teach the "I-Care" rules and

important life skills like listening, cooperating, and sharing.

In this concept book, the first of

a series of curricula by the Peace

Education Foundation, peace education

is seen as holistic, life-affirming, skillbuilding, and an on-going task of every

human being. It focuses on teaching

peacemaking skills to young children in

four concepts areas: cooperative environment, similarities and differences in

being human, feelings, and being responsible by solving problems.

To order, contact the Peace Education

Foundation’s web site at www.peace-ed.org

or call T: 1-800-749-8838.

Children’s Creative

Response to Conflict

(CCRC) Comprehensive

School Program

CCRC provides specially designed

workshops including exercises that

help participants examine conflicts and

develop alternative solutions. This program is available for preschool settings

to develop conflict resolution skills, bias

awareness, and mediation.

CCRC was established in 1972 by the New

York Quaker Project on Community Conflict

and has offered thousands of workshops

nationwide and in Canada, Central America,

and Europe. The chapter serving

Washington, D.C., Maryland, and Northern

Virginia is located at 7710 Carroll Avenue,

Takoma Park, Maryland 20912. The telephone number is (301) 270-1005.

I Can Problem Solve –

Raising a Thinking Child

This article is available in a 1996 Justice

Department Bulletin, Preventing

Violence the Problem-Solving Way. It

offers problem solving skills, parent 

education, and family strengthening

practices.

The article is available from the Justice

Department by calling 1-800-638-8726.

You,Your Child, and

Problem Solving

This pamphlet discusses the problem

solving process, parent education, and

offers activities for families at home. It

is available in both English and Spanish.

The pamphlet, #EC1451, can be obtained

free by writing to Extension Experiment

Station Communications, OSU, Corvallis

Oregon 97331.

Second Step 

The Committee for Children has developed this curriculum based on

research. It offers activities and includes

puppets, a sing-along tape, posters,

activity sheets, and a video. The goals

are to help preschool and kindergarten

children develop language to counter

conflict, air feelings, reduce anger, problem solve, and find ways to get along

with others.

To obtain a copy, visit the Committee for

Children Web site at www.cfchildren.org, or

call 1-800-634-4449.

The Friendly Classroom for

a Small Planet: Children’s

Creative Response

This guidebook for parents and service

providers provides hundreds of activities and tips designed to nurture children’s self-esteem and teach effective

conflict resolution skills.

Order from KIDSRIGHTS, 10100 Park

Cedar Drive, Charlotte, NC 29210.T: 800-

892-KIDS, (704) 541-0100. Fax: (704)

541-0113

Culture and Education of

Young Children

This video, produced by South Carolina

Educational Television, includes a discussion with Carol Brunson Day about

respect for cultural diversity. It stresses using diversity to enhance children’s

learning.

The cost of this video is $39.00. Order from

NAEYC through the Web site at

www.naeyc.org or call T: 1-800-424-2460.

RESOURCES
Conflict Management

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Head Start Bulletin

330 C Street, S.W.

Washington, DC 20447

Send Us Ideas!

This photograph, which appeared on p. 9 of the Head Start

Bulletin on Curriculum (No. 67), was taken by Willa Choper

Siegel. Willa, who authored the article on individualization that

appeared on p.22 of that same issue,is an Education Specialist

in the Head Start Bureau’s Education Services Branch,T: 202-

205-4011, E: wsiegel@acf.dhhs.gov.