A Guide for Older People 

TALKING 

WITH 

YOUR

DOCTOR 
Table of Contents

 1 Opening Thoughts: Why Does It Matter?


 2 Getting Started: Choosing a Doctor You Can Talk To


 6 How Should I Prepare? Getting Ready for an Appointment


 10 What Can I Say? Giving Information

 13 What Can I Ask? Getting Information

 18 How Can I Be Involved? Making Decisions with Your Doctor 

22 Asking More Questions: Talking to Doctors in Special Situations 

25 Changing the Subject: Practical Matters 

28 Can I Really Talk About That? Discussing Sensitive Subjects 

32 Who Else Will Help? Involving Your Family and Friends 

33 Additional Resources: For More Information 

36 For Your Convenience: Worksheets 

41 Any Suggestions? Closing Thoughts 
Opening Thoughts
 

Why Does 

It 

Matter? 

How well you and your doctor talk to each other is one 

of the most important parts of getting good health care. 

But, talking to your doctor isn’t always easy. It takes 

time and effort on your part as well as your doctor’s. 

In the past, the doctor typically took the lead and the patient followed. Today, a 

good patient-doctor relationship is more of a partnership. You and your doctor can 

work as a team, along with nurses, physician assistants, pharmacists, and other 

healthcare providers, to manage your medical problems and keep you healthy. 

This means asking questions if the doctor’s explanations or instructions are unclear, 

bringing up problems even if the doctor doesn’t ask, and letting the doctor know if 

you have concerns about a particular treatment or change in your daily life. Taking 

an active role in your health care puts the responsibility for good communication on 

both you and your doctor. 

All of this is true at any age. But, when you’re older, it becomes even more important 

to talk often and comfortably with your doctor. That’s partly because you may have 

more health conditions and treatments to discuss. It’s also because your health has a 

big impact on other parts of your life, and that needs to be talked about too. 

Talking with Your Doctor 1 
Getting Started 

Choosing a Doctor 

You Can Talk To 

● Decide what you are looking for in a doctor. 

● Identify several possible doctors. 

● Consult reference sources, including those online. 

● Talk to office staff to learn more about the doctors you are considering.

● Make a choice. 

Overview

Finding a main doctor (often called your 

primary doctor or primary care doctor) who 

you feel comfortable talking to is the first step 

in good communication. It is also a way to 

ensure your good health. This doctor gets to 

know you and what your health is normally like. 

He or she can help you make medical decisions 

that suit your values and daily habits and can 

keep in touch with the other medical specialists 

and healthcare providers you may need. 

If you don’t have a primary doctor or are not at 

ease with the one you currently see, now may 

be the time to find a new doctor. Whether you 

just moved to a new city, changed insurance 

providers, or had a bad experience with your 

doctor or medical staff, it is worthwhile to spend 

time finding a doctor you can trust. 

People sometimes hesitate to change doctors 

because they worry about hurting their doctor’s 

feelings. But doctors understand that different 

people have different needs. They know it is 

important for everyone to have a doctor with 

whom they are comfortable. 

Primary care physicians frequently are family 

practitioners, internists, or geriatricians. A 

geriatrician is a doctor who specializes in older 

people, but family practitioners and internists 

may also have a lot of experience with older 

patients. Here are some suggestions that can 

help you find a doctor who meets your needs. 

Decide What You Are 

Looking for in a Doctor 

A good first step is to make a list of qualities 

that matter to you. Do you care if your doctor 

is a man or a woman? Is it important that your 

doctor has evening office hours, is associated 

with a specific hospital or medical center, or 

speaks your language? Do you prefer a doctor 

who has an individual practice or one who 

is part of a group so you can see one of your 

doctor’s partners if your doctor is not available? 

After you have made your list, go back over it 

and decide which qualities are most important 

and which are nice, but not essential. 

2 Choosing a Doctor You Can Talk To 
Identify Several 

Possible Doctors 

Once you have a general sense of what you are 

looking for, ask friends and relatives, medical 

specialists, and other health professionals for 

the names of doctors with whom they have 

had good experiences. Rather than just getting 

a name, ask about the person’s experiences. 

For example, say: “What do you like about 

Dr. Smith?” and “Does this doctor take time 

to answer questions?” A doctor whose name 

comes up often may be a strong possibility. 

If you belong to a managed care plan—a health 

maintenance organization (HMO) or preferred 

provider organization (PPO)—you may be 

required to choose a doctor in the plan or else 

you may have to pay extra to see a doctor 

outside the network. Most managed care plans 

will provide information on their doctors’ 

backgrounds and credentials. Some plans have 

websites with lists of participating doctors from 

which you can choose. 

It may be helpful to develop a list of a few names 

you can choose from. As you find out more 

about the doctors on this list, you may rule out 

some of them. In some cases, a doctor may not 

be taking new patients and you may have to 

make another choice. 

What Are HMOs 

and PPOs? 

Members of a health maintenance 

organization (HMO) pay a set monthly fee 

no matter how many (or few) times they see 

a doctor. Usually there are no deductibles or 

claims forms, but you will have a co-payment 

for doctor visits and prescriptions. Each 

member chooses a primary care doctor from 

within the HMO network. The primary care 

doctor coordinates all care and, if necessary, 

refers members to specialists. 

A preferred provider organization (PPO) is 

a network of doctors and other healthcare 

providers. The doctors in this network agree 

to provide medical services to PPO health 

plan members at discounted costs. Members 

can choose to see any doctor at any time. 

Choosing a non-PPO provider is called “going 

out of network” and will cost more than seeing 

a member of the PPO network. 

What Does “Board 

Certified” Mean? 

Doctors who are board certified have extra 

training after regular medical school. They 

also have passed an exam certifying their 

expertise in specialty areas. Examples of 

specialty areas are general internal medicine, 

family medicine, geriatrics, gynecology, and 

orthopedics. The American Board of Medical 

Specialties has a database that is updated 

daily of all board-certified physicians at 

www.certificationmatters.org. You can also 

call toll-free to verify a doctor’s certification 

at 1-866-275-2267. Board certification is 

one way to learn about a doctor’s medical 

expertise; it doesn’t tell you about the doctor’s 

communication skills. 

Consult Reference Sources 

The American Medical Association’s Doctor 

Finder website (https://apps.ama-assn.org/ 

doctorfinder/home.jsp) and the American Board 

of Medical Specialties’ Certification Matters 

database (www.certificationmatters.org) can 

help you find doctors in your area. These websites 

don’t recommend individual doctors, but they do 

provide a list of doctors you may want to consider. 

MedlinePlus, a website from the National Library 

of Medicine at NIH, has a comprehensive list of 

Talking with Your Doctor 3 
 

directories (www.medlineplus.gov/directories. 

html), which may also be helpful. For a list of 

doctors who participate in Medicare, visit 

www.medicare.gov/physiciancompare. 

Don’t forget to call your local or state medical 

society to check if complaints have been filed 

against any of the doctors you are considering. 

Learn About Doctors 

You Are Considering 

Once you have narrowed your list to two or 

three doctors, call their offices. The office 

staff is a good source of information about 

the doctor’s education and qualifications, 

office policies, and payment procedures. Pay 

attention to the office staff—you will have to 

communicate with them often! 

You may want to set up an appointment to meet 

and talk with a doctor you are considering. He 

or she is likely to charge you for such a visit. 

After the appointment, ask yourself if this 

doctor is a person with whom you could work 

well. If you are not satisfied, schedule a visit 

with one of your other candidates. 

? When learning about a doctor, 

consider asking questions like: 

□ Do you have many older patients? 

□ How do you feel about involving my 

family in care decisions? 

□ Can I call or email you or your staff 

when I have questions? Do you charge 

for telephone or email time? 

□ What are your thoughts about 

complementary or alternative 

treatments? 

? When making a decision about which 

doctor to choose, you might want to 

ask yourself questions like: 

□	 Did the doctor give me a chance to 

ask questions? 

□ Was the doctor really listening to me? 

□	 Could I understand what the doctor was 

saying? Was I comfortable asking him or 

her to say it again? 

Make a Choice 

Once you’ve chosen a doctor, make your first 

actual care appointment. This visit may include 

a medical history and a physical exam. Be sure 

to bring your medical records, or have them sent 

from your former doctor. Bring a list of your 

current medicines or put the medicines in a bag 

and take them with you. If you haven’t already 

met the doctor, ask for extra time during this 

visit to ask any questions you have about the 

doctor or the practice. 

Summary 

Choosing a Doctor You Can Talk To 

● Decide what you are looking for 

in a doctor. 

● Identify several possible doctors. 

● Consult reference sources, including 

those online. 

● Talk to office staff to learn more about 

the doctors you are considering. 

● Make a choice. 

4 Choosing a Doctor You Can Talk To 
What Do You Need to 

Know About a Doctor? 

Basics 

□ Is the doctor taking new patients? 

□	 Is the doctor covered by my insurance plan? 

□	 Does the doctor accept Medicare? 

Qualifications and Characteristics 

□	 Is the doctor board certified? In what field? 

□	 Is the age, sex, race, or religion of the doctor important to me? 

□	 Will language be an obstacle to communication? Is there someone in the office 

who speaks my language? 

□	 Do I prefer a group practice or an individual doctor?

□	 Does it matter which hospital the doctor admits patients to? 

Logistics 

□ Is the location of the doctor’s office important? How far am I willing to travel to 

see the doctor? 

□	 Is there parking? What does it cost? Is the office on a bus or subway line? 

□ Does the building have an elevator? What about ramps for a wheelchair or walker? 

Office Policies 

□	 What days/hours does the doctor see patients? 

□	 Are there times set aside for the doctor to take phone calls? Does the doctor accept 

emailed questions? Is there a charge for this service? 

□	 Does the doctor ever make house calls? 

□ How far in advance do I have to make appointments? 

□ What’s the process for urgent care? How do I reach the doctor in an emergency? 

□	 Who takes care of patients after hours or when the doctor is away? 

Tips

Talking with Your Doctor 5 
How Should I Prepare? 

Getting Ready for 

an Appointment 

● Be prepared: make a list of concerns. 

● Take information with you. 

● Consider bringing a family member or friend. 

● Make sure you can see and hear as well as possible. 

● Plan to update the doctor on what has happened since your last visit. 

Overview

A basic plan can help you make the most of 

your appointment whether you are starting 

with a new doctor or continuing with the doctor 

you’ve seen for years. The following tips will 

make it easier for you and your doctor to cover 

everything you need to talk about. 

List and Prioritize 

Your Concerns 

Make a list of what you want to discuss. For 

example, do you have a new symptom you 

want to ask the doctor about? Do you want 

to get a flu shot? Are you concerned about 

how a treatment is affecting your daily life? 

If you have more than a few items to discuss, 

put them in order and ask about the most 

important ones first. Don’t put off the things 

that are really on your mind until the end of 

your appointment—bring them up right away! 

Worksheet 1 at the end of this booklet can help. 

Take Information with You 

Some doctors suggest you put all your 

prescription drugs, over-the-counter medicines, 

vitamins, and herbal remedies or supplements 

in a bag and bring them with you. Others 

recommend you bring a list of everything you 

take and the dose. You should also take your 

insurance cards, names and phone numbers of 

other doctors you see, and your medical records 

if the doctor doesn’t already have them. 

Consider Bringing a 

Family Member or Friend 

Sometimes it is helpful to bring a family member 

or close friend with you. Let your family member 

or friend know in advance what you want from 

your visit. Your companion can remind you what 

you planned to discuss with the doctor if you 

forget. She or he can take notes for you and can 

help you remember what the doctor said. 

6 Getting Ready for an Appointment 
Be Sure You Can See and 

Hear As Well As Possible 

Many older people use glasses or need aids for 

hearing. Remember to take your eyeglasses 

to the doctor’s visit. If you have a hearing aid, 

make sure that it is working well and wear it. 

Let the doctor and staff know if you have a 

hard time seeing or hearing. For example, you 

may want to say: “My hearing makes it hard to 

understand everything you’re saying. It helps a 

lot when you speak slowly.” 

Plan to Update the Doctor 

Let your doctor know what has happened in 

your life since your last visit. If you have been 

treated in the emergency room or by a specialist, 

tell the doctor right away. Mention any changes 

you have noticed in your appetite, weight, sleep, 

or energy level. Also tell the doctor about any 

recent changes in any medications you take or 

the effects they have had on you. Worksheet 2 

at the end of this booklet can help. 

Talking with Your Doctor 7 

My concerns: 

My medical information: 

Changes since my last visit: 
Request an Interpreter if 

You Know You’ll Need One 

If the doctor you selected or were referred to 

doesn’t speak your language, ask the doctor’s 

office to provide an interpreter. Even though 

some English-speaking doctors know basic 

medical terms in Spanish or other languages, 

you may feel more comfortable speaking in 

your own language, especially when it comes 

to sensitive subjects, such as sexuality or 

depression. Call the doctor’s office ahead 

of time, as they may need to plan for an 

interpreter to be available. 

Always let the doctor, your interpreter, or 

the staff know if you do not understand your 

diagnosis or the instructions the doctor gives 

you. Don’t let language barriers stop you from 

asking questions or voicing your concerns. 

Using an Interpreter 

□ Consider telling your interpreter what you 

want to talk about with your doctor before 

the appointment. 

□ If your language is Spanish and your 

interpreter does not come from the 

same country or background as you, 

use universal Spanish terms to describe 

your symptoms and communicate your 

concerns. 

□ Make sure your interpreter understands 

your symptoms or condition so that he or 

she can correctly translate your message 

to the doctor. You don’t want the doctor to 

prescribe the wrong medication! 

□ Don’t be afraid to let your interpreter know 

if you did not understand something that 

was said, even if you need to ask that it be 

repeated several times. 

Resources in Spanish 

If you are looking for written information in 

Spanish, there are resources that can help. 

For example, the National Institute on Aging 

has translated many of its AgePages into 

Spanish. AgePages (called Vivir Mejor 

la Tercera Edad) are short, easy-to-read 

fact sheets on a wide variety of health and 

aging topics. To get copies of these free 

publications, call 1-800-222-2225 or order 

them online at www.nia.nih.gov/health. 

Summary 

Getting Ready for an Appointment 

● Be prepared: make a list of concerns. 

● Take information with you. 

● Consider bringing a family member 

or friend. 

● Make sure you can see and hear as 

well as possible. 

● Plan to update the doctor on what 

has happened since your last visit. 

8 Getting Ready for an Appointment 
Getting Started

with a New Doctor 

Your first meeting is a good time to talk with

the doctor and the office staff about some 

communication basics. 

First name or last name—When you see the doctor and office staff, introduce 

yourself and let them know by what name you prefer to be called. For example: 

“Hello, my name is Mrs. Martinez,” or “Good morning, my name is Bob Smith. 

Please call me Bob.” 

Ask how the office runs—Learn what days are busiest and what times are best 

to call. Ask what to do if there is an emergency, or if you need a doctor when 

the office is closed. 

Share your medical history—Tell the doctor about your illnesses, operations, 

medical conditions, and other doctors you see. You may want to ask the doctor 

to send you a copy of the medical history form before your visit so you can fill 

it out at home, where you have the time and information you need to complete 

it. If you have problems understanding how to fill out any of the forms, ask for 

help. Some community organizations provide this kind of help. 

Share former doctors’ names—Give the new doctor all of your former doctors’ 

names and addresses, especially if they are in a different city. This is to help 

your new doctor get copies of your medical records. Your doctor will ask 

you to sign a medical release form giving him or her permission to request 

your records. 

Tips

Talking with Your Doctor 9 
What Can I Say? 

Giving Information 

● Share any symptoms. 

● Give information about your medications. 

● Tell the doctor about your habits. 

● Voice other concerns. 

Overview

Talking about your health means sharing 

information about how you feel physically, 

emotionally, and mentally. Knowing how to 

describe your symptoms and bring up other 

concerns will help you become a partner in your 

health care. Worksheets 1 and 2 at the end of 

this booklet can help. 

Share Any Symptoms 

A symptom is evidence of a disease or disorder 

in the body. Examples of symptoms include 

pain, fever, a lump or bump, unexplained weight 

loss or gain, or having a hard time sleeping. 

Be clear and concise when describing your 

symptoms. Your description helps the doctor 

identify the problem. A physical exam and 

medical tests provide valuable information, 

but your symptoms point the doctor in the 

right direction. 

Your doctor will ask when your symptoms 

started, what time of day they happen, how long 

they last (seconds? days?), how often they occur, 

if they seem to be getting worse or better, and 

if they keep you from going out or doing your 

usual activities. 

Take the time to make some notes about your 

symptoms before you call or visit the doctor. 

Worrying about your symptoms is not a sign 

of weakness. Being honest about what you 

are experiencing doesn’t mean that you are 

complaining. The doctor needs to know how 

you feel. 

Questions to ask yourself about 

your symptoms: 

□ What exactly are my symptoms? 

□	 Are the symptoms constant? If not, 

when do I experience them? 

□	 Does anything I do make the symptoms 

better? Or worse? 

□ Do the symptoms affect my daily 

activities? Which ones? How? 

Give Information About 

Your Medications 

It is possible for medicines to interact causing 

unpleasant and sometimes dangerous side effects. 

Your doctor needs to know about ALL of the 

medicines you take, including over-the-counter 

10	 Giving Information 

? 
(nonprescription) drugs and herbal remedies or 

supplements. Make a list or bring everything with 

you to your visit—don’t forget about eye drops, 

vitamins, and laxatives. Tell the doctor how often 

you take each. Describe any drug allergies or 

reactions you have had. Say which medications 

work best for you. Be sure your doctor has 

the phone number of the pharmacy you use. 

Worksheet 3 at the end of this booklet can help. 

Tell the Doctor About 

Your Habits 

To provide the best care, your doctor must 

understand you as a person and know what 

your life is like. The doctor may ask about 

where you live, what you eat, how you sleep, 

what you do each day, what activities you enjoy, 

what your sex life is like, and if you smoke or 

drink. Be open and honest with your doctor. It 

will help him or her to understand your medical 

conditions fully and recommend the best 

treatment choices for you. 

Voice Other Concerns
 

Your doctor may ask you how your life is going. 

This isn’t being impolite or nosy. Information 

about what’s happening in your life may be 

useful medically. Let the doctor know about 

any major changes or stresses in your life, such 

as a divorce or the death of a loved one. You 

don’t have to go into detail; you may want to 

say something like: “It might be helpful for you 

to know that my sister passed away since my 

last visit with you,” or “I recently had to sell my 

home and move in with my daughter.” 

Summary 

Giving Information 

● Share any symptoms. 

● Give information about your medications. 

● Tell the doctor about your habits. 

● Voice other concerns. 

Talking with Your Doctor 11 
Make Good Use 

of Your Time 

Be honest—It is tempting to say what you think the doctor 

wants to hear, for example, that you smoke less or eat a more 

balanced diet than you really do. While this is natural, it’s not 

in your best interest. Your doctor can suggest the best treatment only if you say 

what is really going on. For instance, you might say: “I have been trying to quit 

smoking, as you recommended, but I am not making much headway.” 

Tips

Decide what questions are most important—Pick three or four questions or 

concerns that you most want to talk about with the doctor. You can tell him or her 

what they are at the beginning of the appointment, and then discuss each in turn. 

If you have time, you can then go on to other questions. 

Stick to the point—Although your doctor might like to talk with you at length, each 

patient is given a limited amount of time. To make the best use of your time, stick 

to the point. For instance, give the doctor a brief description of the symptom, when 

it started, how often it happens, and if it is getting worse or better. 

Share your point of view about the visit—Tell the doctor if you feel rushed, 

worried, or uncomfortable. If necessary, you can offer to return for a second 

visit to discuss your concerns. Try to voice your feelings in a positive way. For 

example, you could say something like: “I know you have many patients to see, 

but I’m really worried about this. I’d feel much better if we could talk about it a 

little more.” 

Remember, the doctor may not be able to answer all your questions—Even the 

best doctor may be unable to answer some questions. Most doctors will tell you 

when they don’t have answers. They also may help you find the information you 

need or refer you to a specialist. If a doctor regularly brushes off your questions or 

symptoms as simply a part of aging, think about looking for another doctor. 

12 Giving Information 
What Can I Ask? 

Getting Information 

● Learn about medical tests. 

● Discuss your diagnosis and what you can expect. 

● Find out about your medications. 

● Understand how to take your prescriptions. 

Overview

Asking questions is key to good communication 

with your doctor. If you don’t ask questions, 

he or she may assume you already know the 

answer or that you don’t want more information. 

Don’t wait for the doctor to raise a specific 

question or subject; he or she may not know it’s 

important to you. Be proactive. Ask questions 

when you don’t know the meaning of a word 

(like aneurysm, hypertension, or infarct) or 

when instructions aren’t clear (for example, 

does taking medicine with food mean before, 

during, or after a meal?). 

Learn About Medical Tests 

Sometimes, doctors need to do blood tests, 

x-rays, or other procedures to find out what 

is wrong or to learn more about your medical 

condition. Some tests, such as Pap tests, 

mammograms, glaucoma tests, and screenings 

for prostate and colorectal cancer, are done 

regularly to check for hidden medical problems. 

Before having a medical test, ask your doctor 

to explain why it is important, what it will 

show, and what it will cost. Ask what kind of 

things you need to do to prepare for the test. 

For example, you may need to have an empty 

stomach, or you may have to provide a urine 

sample. Ask how you will be notified of the test 

results and how long they will take to come in. 

Can I Find 

Information About 

Medical Tests Online?

Yes—there is a lot of information online 

about medical tests. The National Library 

of Medicine’s MedlinePlus website provides 

links to many trustworthy resources. Visit 

www.medlineplus.gov/laboratorytests.html. 

You can get information on preparing for lab 

tests, explanations of different tests, 

and tips on interpreting lab test results. 

? Questions to ask about medical tests: 

□ Why is the test being done? 

□	 What steps does the test involve? How 

should I get ready? 

□ Are there any dangers or side effects? 

□	 How will I find out the results? How long 

will it take to get the results? 

□	 What will we know after the test? 

When the results are ready, make sure the 

doctor tells you what they are and explains what 

Talking with Your Doctor 13 
they mean. You may want to ask your doctor for 

a written copy of the test results. If the test is 

done by a specialist, ask to have the results sent 

to your primary doctor. 

Discuss Your Diagnosis 

and What to Expect 

A diagnosis identifies your disease or physical 

problem. The doctor makes a diagnosis based 

on the symptoms you are experiencing and the 

results of the physical exam, laboratory work, 

and other tests. 

If you understand your medical condition, you 

can help make better decisions about treatment. 

If you know what to expect, it may be easier for 

you to deal with the condition. 

Ask the doctor to tell you the name of the 

condition and why he or she thinks you have it. 

Ask how it may affect you and how long 

it might last. Some medical problems never 

go away completely. They can’t be cured, 

but they can be treated or managed. 

? Questions to ask about your diagnosis: 

□	 What may have caused this condition? 

Will it be permanent? 

□	 How is this condition treated or managed? 

What will be the long-term effects on 

my life? 

□ How can I learn more about my condition? 

14 Getting Information 
Find Out About 

Your Medications 

? 

Your doctor may prescribe a drug for your 

condition. Make sure you know the name of the 

drug and understand why it has been prescribed 

for you. Ask the doctor to write down how often 

and for how long you should take it. 

Make notes about any other special instructions. 

There may be foods or drinks you should avoid 

while you are taking the medicine. Or, you 

may have to take the medicine with food or a 

whole glass of water. If you are taking other 

medications, make sure your doctor knows what 

they are, so he or she can prevent harmful drug 

interactions. 

Sometimes, medicines affect older people 

differently than younger people. Let the doctor 

know if your medicine doesn’t seem to be 

working or if it is causing problems. It is best not 

to stop taking the medicine on your own. If you 

want to stop taking your medicine, check with 

your doctor first. 

If another doctor (for example, a specialist) 

prescribes a medication for you, call your 

primary doctor’s office and leave a message 

letting him or her know. Also, call to check with 

your doctor’s office before taking any over-the

counter medications. You may find it helpful to 

keep a chart of all the medicines you take and 

when you take them. A sample chart is included 

as Worksheet 3 at the end of this booklet. 

­

The pharmacist is also a good source of 

information about your medicines. In addition 

to answering questions and helping you select 

over-the-counter medications, the pharmacist 

keeps records of all the prescriptions you 

get filled at that pharmacy. Because your 

pharmacist keeps these records, it is helpful to 

use the same store regularly. At your request, 

the pharmacist can fill your prescriptions in 

easy-to-open containers and may be able to 

provide large-print prescription labels. 

Questions to ask about medications: 

□	 What are the common side effects? What 

should I pay attention to? 

□	 When will the medicine begin to work? 

□	 What should I do if I miss a dose? 

□	 Should I take it at meals or between 

meals? Do I need to drink a whole glass 

of water with it? 

□	 Are there foods, drugs, or activities I 

should avoid while taking this medicine? 

□	 Will I need a refill? How do I arrange that? 

What Are 

Side Effects? 

“My headache prescription always makes 

me sleepy.” 

“Aunt Sarah’s cough syrup caused a rash.” 

Unwanted or unexpected symptoms or feelings

that happen when you take a medicine are 

called side effects. 

Some side effects happen just when you start 

taking a medicine. Some happen only once in 

a while and you learn how to manage them. 

But, other side effects may make you want to 

stop taking the medicine. Tell your doctor if this 

happens. He or she may be able to prescribe a

different medicine or help you deal with these 

side effects in other ways. 

Talking with Your Doctor 15 
Understand 

Your Prescriptions 

When the doctor writes a prescription, 

it is important that you are able to read 

and understand the directions for taking 

the medication. 

Common 

Abbreviations for 

Prescriptions 

Doctors and pharmacists often use 

abbreviations or terms that may not be familiar. 

Here is an explanation of some of the most 

common abbreviations you will see on the 

labels of your prescription medications. 

Abbreviation Explanation 

p.r.n. as needed 

q.d. every day 

b.i.d. twice a day 

t.i.d. three times a day 

q.i.d. four times a day 

a.c. before meals 

p.c. after meals 

h.s. at bedtime 

p.o. by mouth 

ea. each 

If you have questions about your prescription 

or how you should take the medicine, ask your 

doctor or pharmacist. If you do not understand 

the directions, make sure you ask someone 

to explain them. It is important to take the 

medicine as directed by your doctor. 

Keeping a record of all the medications you take 

with instructions for how to take them may be 

useful. Worksheet 3 at the end of this booklet is 

a sample chart that can help. 

Summary 

Giving Information 

● Learn about medical tests. 

● Discuss your diagnosis and 

what you can expect. 

● Find out about your medications. 

● Understand how to take 

your prescriptions. 

16 Getting Information 
Helping You Remember 

No matter what your age, it’s easy to forget a lot of what 

your doctor says. Even if you are comfortable talking with 

your doctor, you may not always understand what he or 

she says. So, as your doctor gives you information, it’s a 

good idea to check that you are following along. Ask about 

anything that does not seem clear. For instance, you might 

say: “I want to make sure I understand. Could you explain that a 

little more?” or “I did not understand that word. What does it mean?” 

Tips

Another way to check is to repeat what you think the doctor means in your own 

words and ask, “Is this correct?” Here are some other ideas to help make sure you 

have all the information you need. 

Take notes—Take along a notepad and pen and write down the main points, or 

ask the doctor to write them down for you. If you can’t write while the doctor is 

talking to you, make notes in the waiting room after the visit. Or, bring an audio 

recorder along and (with the doctor’s permission) record what is said. Recording is 

especially helpful if you want to share the details of the visit with others. 

Get written or recorded materials—Ask if your doctor has any brochures, DVDs, 

or other materials about your health conditions or treatments. For example, if your 

doctor says that your blood pressure is high, he or she may give you brochures 

explaining what causes high blood pressure and what you can do about it. Ask 

the doctor to recommend other sources, such as websites, disease management 

centers, nonprofit organizations, and government agencies that may have written 

or recorded information you can use. 

Talk to other members of the healthcare team—Sometimes, the doctor may want 

you to talk with other health professionals who can help you understand and 

carry out the decisions about how to manage your condition. Nurses, physician 

assistants, pharmacists, and occupational or physical therapists may be able to 

take more time with you than the doctor. 

Call or email the doctor—If you are uncertain about the doctor’s instructions after 

you get home, call the office. A nurse or other staff member can check with the 

doctor and call you back. You could ask whether the doctor, or other health 

professional you have talked to, has an email address or online health portal you can 

use to send questions. 

Talking with Your Doctor 17 
How Can I Be Involved? 

Making Decisions 

with Your Doctor 

● Ask about different treatments. 

● Ask about prevention. 

● Talk about exercise. 

Overview

Giving and getting information are two important 

steps in talking with your doctor. The third big 

step is making decisions about your care. 

Find Out About 

Different Treatments 

You will benefit most from a treatment 

when you know what is happening and are 

involved in making decisions. Make sure you 

understand what your treatment involves and 

what it will or will not do. Have the doctor 

give you directions in writing and feel free 

to ask questions. For example: “What are 

the pros and cons of having surgery at this 

stage?” or “Do I have any other choices?” 

If your doctor suggests a treatment that 

makes you uncomfortable, ask if there are 

other treatments that might work. If cost is 

a concern, ask the doctor if less expensive 

choices are available. The doctor can work 

with you to develop a treatment plan that 

meets your needs. 

Here are some things to remember when 

deciding on a treatment: 

□	 Discuss choices. There are different ways to 

manage many health conditions, especially 

chronic conditions like high blood pressure 

and cholesterol. Ask what your options are. 

□	 Discuss risks and benefits. Once you know 

your options, ask about the pros and cons of 

each one. Find out what side effects might 

occur, how long the treatment would continue, 

and how likely it is that the treatment will 

work for you. 

□	 Consider your own values and circumstances. 

When thinking about the pros and cons of a 

treatment, don’t forget to consider its impact 

on your overall life. For instance, will one 

of the side effects interfere with a regular 

activity that means a lot to you? Is one 

treatment choice expensive and not covered 

by your insurance? Doctors need to know 

about these practical matters so they can 

work with you to develop a treatment plan 

that meets your needs. 

18	 Making Decisions with Your Doctor 
Doctor 19 

? Questions to ask about treatment: 

□	 Are there any risks associated with 

the treatment? 

□	 How soon should treatment start? 

How long will it last? 

□	 Are there other treatments available? 

□	 How much will the treatment cost? 

Will my insurance cover it? 

Learn About Prevention 

Doctors and other health professionals may 

suggest you change your diet, activity level, 

or other aspects of your life to help you deal 

with medical conditions. Research has shown 

that these changes, particularly an increase in 

exercise, have positive effects on overall health. 

Until recently, preventing disease in older 

people received little attention. But, things are 

changing. We now know that it’s never too late 

to stop smoking, improve your diet, or start 

exercising. Getting regular checkups and seeing 

other health professionals, such as dentists and 

eye specialists, helps promote good health. Even 

people who have chronic diseases, like arthritis 

or diabetes, can prevent further disability 

and, in some cases, control the progress of 

the disease. 

If a certain disease or health condition runs in 

your family, ask your doctor if there are steps 

you can take to help prevent it. If you have a 

chronic condition, ask how you can manage 

it and if there are things you can do to keep 

it from getting worse. If you want to discuss 

health and disease prevention with your doctor, 

say so when you make your next appointment. 

This lets the doctor plan to spend more time 

with you. 

It is just as important to talk with your doctor 

about lifestyle changes as it is to talk about 

treatment. For example: “I know that you’ve 

told me to eat more dairy products, but they 

really disagree with me. Is there something else 

I could eat instead?” or “Maybe an exercise 

class would help, but I have no way to get to 

the senior center. Is there something else you 

could suggest?” 

As with treatments, consider all the alternatives, 

look at pros and cons, and remember to take into 

account your own point of view. Tell your doctor 

if you feel his or her suggestions won’t work for 

you and explain why. Keep talking with your 

doctor to come up with a plan that works. 

? Questions to ask about prevention: 

□	 Is there any way to prevent a condition 

that runs in my family—before it 

affects me? 

□	 Are there ways to keep my condition 

from getting worse? 

□	 How will making a change in my habits 

help me? 

□	 Are there any risks in making
 

this change?
 

□	 Are there support groups or community 

services that might help me? 

Talking with Your 
 

Talking About 

Exercise 

Exercise is often “just what the doctor ordered!” 

Exercise can: 

□ Help you have more energy to do the 

things you want to do 

□ Help maintain and improve your physical 

strength and fitness 

□ Help improve mood and reduce depression 

□ Help manage and prevent diseases like 

heart disease, diabetes, some types of 

cancer, osteoporosis, and disabilities as 

people grow older 

□ Help improve your balance and prevent falls 

Many doctors now recommend that older 

people try to make physical activity a part of 

everyday life. When you are making your list 

of things to talk about with your doctor, add 

exercise. Ask how exercise would benefit you, 

if there are any activities you should avoid, 

and whether your doctor can recommend 

any specific kinds of exercise. 

Start exercising with NIA’s exercise and physical 

activity campaign, Go4Life®, developed specifically for older people. See how to stick with a 

safe, effective program of endurance, stretching, 

balance, and strength-training exercises. Visit 

www.nia.nih.gov/Go4Life or call 1-800-222-2225 

(toll-free) for information about the health benefits 

of exercise and physical activity, along with 

activities you can do to stay fit. 

Summary 

Making Decisions with Your Doctor 

● Ask about different treatments. 

● Ask about prevention. 

● Talk about exercise. 

20 Making Decisions with Your Doctor 
Evaluating Health

Information Online 

Many people search online to find information about 

medical problems and health issues. However, not all 

health information on the web is of equal quality. How do 

you find websites that are accurate and reliable? The following questions may 

be useful to consider when you look at a health-related website. 

□	 Who is responsible for the content? Is it a government agency (.gov), 

national nonprofit organization, or professional association? An individual? 

A commercial organization? 

□	 If you are reading an article or blog, what are the author’s credentials? 

Is the author affiliated with any major medical institutions? 

□	 Who reviews the material? Is there a medical or scientific advisory board that 

reads the medical content before it is made available to the public? 

□	 Are sources cited for the statistical information? For example, it’s easy enough 

to say “4 out of 5 doctors agree...” but where did that statistic come from? 

□	 Is the purpose and goal of the sponsoring organization clearly stated? 

□	 Is there a way to contact the sponsor for more information or to verify 

information presented? 

□	 Is the site supported by public funds or donations? If it includes advertisements, 

are they separate from content? 

□	 Because health information gets outdated so quickly, does the website post 

the source and date for the information? 

□	 If you have to register, is it clear how your personal information will be used? 

Does the site have a clear privacy policy? 

□	 Is the website trying to sell you something? 

Don’t forget to talk with your doctor about what you’ve learned online. 

Tips

Talking with Your Doctor 21 
Asking More Questions 

Talking to Doctors in 

Special Situations 

● Ask questions if you are unclear. 

● Try to write down as much information as possible. 

● Tell your primary care doctor if you see a specialist, 

need surgery, or have gone to the emergency room. 

Overview

Your doctor may send you to a specialist for 

further evaluation, or you may request to see 

a specialist yourself. Your insurance plan 

may require you to have a referral from your 

primary doctor. 

A visit to the specialist may be short. Often, 

the specialist already has seen your medical 

records or test results and is familiar with 

your case. If you are unclear about what the 

specialist tells you, ask questions. 

For example, if the specialist says you have 

a medical condition that you aren’t familiar 

with, you may want to say something like: “I 

don’t know much about that condition. Could 

you explain what it is and how it might affect 

me?” or “I’ve heard that is a painful problem. 

What can be done to prevent or manage 

the pain?” 

You also may ask for written materials to read, 

or you can call your primary doctor to clarify 

anything you haven’t understood. 

Ask the specialist to send information about any 

diagnosis or treatment to your primary doctor. 

This allows your primary doctor to keep track 

of your medical care. You also should let your 

primary doctor know at your next visit how well 

any treatments or medications the specialist 

recommended are working. 

? Questions to ask your specialist: 

□ What is my diagnosis? 

□	 What treatment do you recommend? 

How soon do I need to begin the 

new treatment? 

□	 Will you discuss my care with my 

primary doctor? 

If You Need Surgery 

In some cases, surgery may be the best treatment 

for your condition. If so, your doctor will refer you 

to a surgeon. Knowing more about the operation 

will help you make an informed decision about 

how to proceed. It also will help you get ready for 

the surgery, which makes for a better recovery. 

22	 Talking to Doctors in Special Situations 
Ask the surgeon to explain what will be done 

during the operation and what reading material, 

videos, or websites you can look at before 

the operation. 

Find out if you will have to stay overnight in 

the hospital or if the surgery can be done on 

an outpatient basis. Will you need someone 

to drive you home? Minor surgeries that don’t 

require an overnight stay can sometimes be 

done at medical centers called ambulatory 

surgical centers. 

? Questions to ask your surgeon: 

□	 What is the success rate of the 

operation? How many of these 

operations have you done successfully? 

□	 What problems occur with this surgery? 

What kind of pain or discomfort can 

I expect? 

□	 What kind of anesthesia will I have? 

Are there any risks associated with its 

use in older people? 

□	 Will I have to stay in the hospital 

overnight? How long is recovery 

expected to take? What does it 

involve? When can I get back to 

my normal routine? 

If You Are Hospitalized 

If you have to go to the hospital, some extra 

guidelines may help you. First, most hospitals 

have a daily schedule. Knowing the hospital 

routine can make your stay more comfortable. 

Find out how much choice you have about your 

daily routine and express any preferences you 

have about your schedule. Doctors generally 

visit patients during specific times each day. 

Find out when the doctor is likely to visit so 

you can have your questions ready. 

In the hospital, various medical specialists, 

nurses, and other health professionals may 

examine you. If you are in a teaching hospital, 

doctors-in-training known as medical students, 

interns, residents, or fellows also may examine 

you. Many of these doctors-in-training already 

have a lot of knowledge and experience. They 

may be able to take more time to talk with 

you than other staff. Nurses also can be an 

important source of information, especially 

since you will see them often. 

? 

Questions to ask medical staff in 

the hospital: 

□	 How long can I expect to be in 

the hospital? 

□	 When will I see the doctor? What doctors 

and health professionals will I see? 

□	 What is the daily routine in this part 

of the hospital? 

Seeking a 

Second Opinion 

When surgery is recommended, patients often 

seek a second opinion. Hearing the views 

of two different doctors can help you decide 

what’s best for you. In fact, your insurance 

plan may require it. Doctors are used to this 

practice, and most will not be insulted by your 

request for a second opinion. Your doctor may 

even be able to suggest other doctors who 

can review your case. 

Always remember to check with your 

insurance provider in advance to find out if a 

second opinion is covered under your policy, if 

there are restrictions to which doctors you can 

see, and if you need a referral form from your 

primary doctor. 

Talking with Your Doctor 23 
If You Go to the
 

Emergency Room
 

A visit to the emergency room can be stressful. 

It may go more smoothly if you take along the 

following items: 

□	 Your health insurance card or policy number 

□	 A list of your medications 

□	 A list of your medical problems 

□	 The names and phone numbers of your doctor 

and one or two family members or close friends 

Some people find it helpful to keep this information 

on a card in their wallet or purse at all times. 

Depending on the problem, you may have a long 

wait in the emergency room. Consider taking 

things to make the wait more comfortable, such 

as something to read and a sweater in case the 

room is cold. 

While in the emergency room, ask questions if 

you don’t understand tests or procedures that 

are being done. Before leaving, make sure you 

understand what the doctor told you or ask for 

written instructions. For example, if you have 

bandages that need changing, be sure you 

understand how and when it should be done. 

Tell your primary doctor as soon as possible 

about your visit to the emergency room. 

? Questions to ask medical staff in the 

emergency room: 

□	 Will you talk to my primary doctor about 

my care? 

□	 Do I need to arrange any further care? 

□	 Can I get instructions for further care 

in writing? 

□	 Is there someone here who speaks my 

language and can explain the instructions? 

Summary 

Talking to Doctors in Special Situations 

● Ask questions if you are unclear. 

● Try to write down as much information 

as possible. 

● Tell your primary care doctor if you see 

a specialist, need surgery, or have gone 

to the emergency room. 

24 Talking to Doctors in Special Situations 
Changing the Subject 

Practical Matters 

● Don’t hesitate to bring up concerns, even if they 

don’t seem directly related to a medical condition. 

● You and your doctor can make better decisions together 

if the doctor knows about your non-medical concerns. 

● If the doctor can’t help solve your non-medical problems, he or 

she may be able to refer you to other resources that can help. 

Overview

It helps the doctor—and you—if he or she 

knows about the non-medical parts of your life. 

Where you live, how you get around, and what 

activities are important to you—these are all 

things that can make a difference in decisions 

about your health care. The following are some 

examples of practical matters you might want 

to discuss with your doctor. For additional 

information and resources on these topics, 

see the section called For More Information. 

Planning for Care in the 

Event of a Serious Illness 

You may have some concerns or wishes about 

your care if you become seriously ill. If you 

have questions about what choices you 

have, ask your doctor. You can specify your 

desires through documents called advance 

directives, such as a living will or healthcare 

proxy. One way to bring up the subject is to 

say: “I’m worried about what would happen in 

the hospital if I were very sick and not likely 

to get better. Can you tell me what generally 

happens in that case?” 

In general, the best time to talk with your doctor 

about these issues is while you are still relatively 

healthy. If you are admitted to the hospital or 

a nursing home, a nurse or other staff member 

may ask if you have any advance directives. 

Driving 

Driving is an important part of everyday life for 

many people, and making the decision to stop 

driving can be very difficult. Tell your doctor 

if you or people close to you are concerned 

about your driving and why. He or she can go 

over your medical conditions and medications 

to see if there are treatable problems that may 

be contributing to driving difficulties. Vision 

and memory tests are important. The doctor 

also may be able to suggest a driver’s education 

refresher class designed for older drivers. 

Moving to Assisted Living 

Another hard decision that many older people 

face is whether or not to move to a place where 

they can have more help—often an assisted 

living facility. If you are considering such a 

Talking with Your Doctor 25 
move, your doctor can help you weigh the 

pros and cons based on your health and other 

circumstances. He or she may be able to refer 

you to a social worker or a local agency that can 

help in finding an assisted living facility. 

Paying for Medications 

Don’t hesitate to ask the doctor about the cost 

of your medications. If they are too expensive 

for you, the doctor may be able to suggest less 

expensive alternatives. If the doctor does not 

know the cost, ask the pharmacist before filling 

the prescription. You can call your doctor and 

ask if there is a generic or other less expensive 

choice. You could say, for instance: “It turns out 

that this medicine is too expensive for me. Is 

there another one or a generic drug that would 

cost less?” 

Your doctor may also be able to refer you to a 

medical assistance program that can help with 

drug costs. 

Medicare 

Prescription 

Drug Plans 

Medicare prescription drug coverage is 

available to people with Medicare. 

For information, call 1-800-633-4227 

(1-800-MEDICARE) or visit the website at 

www.medicare.gov. 

Summary 

Practical Matters 

● Don’t hesitate to bring up concerns, 

even if they don’t seem directly related 

to a medical condition. 

● You and your doctor can make better 

decisions together if the doctor knows 

about your non-medical concerns. 

● If the doctor can’t help solve your 

non-medical problems, he or she may 

be able to refer you to other resources 

that can help. 

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26 Practical Matters 
Advance Directives 

Advance directives are written instructions letting others 

know the type of care you want if you are seriously ill or 

dying. There are two main kinds: 

□ Living wills—A living will records your end-of-life wishes 

for medical treatment in case you are no longer able to speak 

for yourself. Living wills typically refer only to life-prolonging treatment 

when you are close to death. 

□	 Healthcare proxies—A healthcare proxy is also called a “durable power of 

attorney for health care.” Sometimes, this person may be referred to as a 

representative, surrogate, agent, or attorney-in-fact. A healthcare proxy is named 

to make care decisions for you if you are unable to do so yourself. This type 

of advance directive is also important if you want your healthcare proxy to be 

someone who is not a legal member of your family. 

Make sure your doctor and family understand your advance directives and your 

views about end-of-life care. That will help them make the decisions you would 

want. Sometimes, people change their minds as they get older or after they 

become ill. Review the choices in your advance care directives from time to time 

and make changes as needed. 

Advance care directives are legally valid everywhere in the United States, but 

laws concerning them vary from state to state. Forms approved for the state 

you live in are available from many different healthcare organizations and 

institutions. Make sure that the form you choose is legal in your home state 

and any other state that you may live in for part of the year. 

The National Institute on Aging at NIH offers free resources with more 

information about advance directives and end-of-life considerations. Go to 

www.nia.nih.gov/health/publication/legal-financial-planning to see these 

resources, including Advance Care Planning: Tips from the National Institute 

on Aging and End of Life: Helping with Comfort and Care. 

Tips

Talking with Your Doctor 27 
Can I Really Talk About That? 

Discussing 

Sensitive Subjects 

● Don’t hesitate to discuss sensitive subjects with 

your doctor. 

● Use brochures or booklets as props to introduce 

topics you may feel awkward discussing. 

● If you feel the doctor doesn’t take your concerns seriously, 

it might be time to think about changing doctors. 

Overview

Much of the communication between doctor 

and patient is personal. To have a good 

partnership with your doctor, it is important 

to talk about sensitive subjects, like sex or 

memory problems, even if you are embarrassed 

or uncomfortable. Most doctors are used to 

talking about personal matters and will try 

to ease your discomfort. Keep in mind that 

these topics concern many older people. For 

resources, see the section called For More 

Information. You might find that using 

booklets from these organizations can help 

you bring up sensitive subjects when talking 

with your doctor. 

It is important to understand that problems 

with memory, depression, sexual function, and 

incontinence are not necessarily normal parts 

of aging. A good doctor will take your concerns 

about these topics seriously and not brush them 

off. If you think your doctor isn’t taking your 

concerns seriously, talk to him or her about 

your feelings or consider looking for a new 

doctor. 

Alcohol 

Anyone at any age can have a drinking problem. 

Alcohol can have a greater effect as a person 

grows older because the aging process affects 

how the body handles alcohol. Someone whose 

drinking habits haven’t changed may find over 

time that he or she has a problem. People can 

also develop a drinking problem later in life 

due to major life changes like the death of loved 

ones. In fact, depression in older adults often 

goes along with alcohol misuse. Talk with your 

doctor if you think you may be developing a 

drinking problem. You could say: “Lately I’ve 

been wanting to have a drink earlier and earlier 

in the afternoon, and I find it’s getting harder 

to stop after just one or two. What kind of 

treatments could help with this?” 

Falling and Fear of Falling 

A fall can be a serious event, often leading to 

injury and loss of independence, at least for 

28 Discussing Sensitive Subjects 
a while. For this reason, many older people 

develop a fear of falling. Studies show that fear 

of falling can keep people from going about 

their normal activities and, as a result, they may 

become frailer, which actually increases their 

risk of falling again. If fear of falling is affecting 

your day-to-day life, let your doctor know. He or 

she may be able to recommend some things to do 

to reduce your chances of falling. Exercises can 

help you improve your balance and strengthen 

your muscles, at any age. 

Feeling Unhappy 

with Your Doctor 

Misunderstandings can come up in any 

relationship, including between a patient 

and doctor or the doctor’s staff. If you feel 

uncomfortable with something your doctor or 

his or her staff has said or done, be direct. For 

example, if the doctor does not return your 

telephone calls, you may want to say something 

like this: “I realize that you care for a lot of 

patients and are very busy, but I feel frustrated 

when I have to wait for days for you to return 

my call. Is there a way we can work together to 

improve this?” 

Being honest is much better for your health than 

avoiding the doctor. If you have a long-standing 

relationship with your doctor, working out the 

problem may be more useful than looking for a 

new doctor. 

Grief, Mourning, 

and Depression 

As people grow older, they may lose significant 

people in their lives, including spouses and 

cherished friends. Or, they may have to move 

away from home or give up favorite activities. 

A doctor who knows about your losses is better 

able to understand how you are feeling. He or she 

can make suggestions that may be helpful to you. 

Although it is normal to mourn when you have 

a loss, later life does not have to be a time of 

ongoing sadness. If you feel sad all the time or 

for more than a few weeks, let your doctor know. 

Also, tell your doctor about symptoms such as 

lack of energy, poor appetite, trouble sleeping, 

or little interest in life. These could be signs of 

depression, which is a medical condition. 

Depression may be common, especially when 

people experience losses, but it is also treatable. 

It should not be considered normal at any age. 

Let your doctor know about your feelings and 

ask about treatment. 

HIV/AIDS 

After divorce, separation, or the death of a 

spouse, some older people may find themselves 

dating again and possibly having sex with a new 

partner. It’s a good idea to talk with your doctor 

about how safe sex can reduce your risk of 

sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV/AIDS. 

It’s important to practice safe sex, no matter 

what your age. 

Incontinence 

Older people sometimes have problems 

controlling their bladder. This is called urinary 

incontinence and it can often be treated. 

Depending on the type of incontinence you 

have, the doctor may recommend exercises, 

suggest helpful ways to change your habits, 

prescribe useful medications, or advise surgery. 

If you have trouble controlling your bladder or 

bowels, it is important to let the doctor know. 

To bring up the topic, you could say something 

like: “Since my last visit there have been several 

times when I couldn’t control my bladder.” 

Talking with Your Doctor 29 
Memory Problems 

Many older people worry about their ability 

to think and remember. For most older adults, 

thinking and memory remain relatively 

intact in later years. However, if you or your 

family notice that you are having problems 

remembering recent events or thinking clearly, 

let your doctor know. Be specific about the 

changes you’ve noticed. For example, you could 

say: “I’ve always been able to balance my 

checkbook without any problems, but lately I’m 

very confused.” Your doctor will probably want 

you to have a thorough checkup to see what 

might be causing your symptoms. 

In many cases, memory problems are caused 

by conditions such as depression or infection, 

or they may be a side effect of medication. 

Sometimes, the problem is a type of dementia, 

such as Alzheimer’s disease. With a careful 

family history, physical exam, medical tests, and 

tests of memory and problem solving, specialists 

can diagnose Alzheimer’s with a high degree 

of accuracy. Determining the cause of memory 

problems is important to help the doctor, patient, 

and family choose the best plan of care. 

Although there is no cure for Alzheimer’s, 

medicines can help for a while, especially in 

the early stages of the disease. Treatments 

(medication and nonmedication) can also ease 

serious behavioral symptoms such as agitation, 

anxiety, and depression. Support groups and 

education are important and can help patients 

and caregivers. 

Free Information 

If you are worried about memory problems 

and Alzheimer’s disease, you can contact the 

Alzheimer’s and related Dementias Education 

Referral (ADEAR) Center, a service of the 

National Institute on Aging. ADEAR staff can: 

□ Answer specific questions about 

Alzheimer’s 

□ Send free publications 

□ Refer callers to local resources 

□ Provide information about clinical trials 

□ Help you find materials about 

specific issues 

Call toll-free 1-800-438-4380 or visit the 

ADEAR website at www.nia.nih.gov/

alzheimers. 

National Institute 

on Aging 

www.nia.nih.gov 

30 Discussing Sensitive Subjects 
Problems with Family 

Even strong and loving families can have 

problems, especially under the stress of illness. 

Although family problems can be painful to 

discuss, talking about them can help your doctor 

help you. Your doctor may be able to suggest 

steps to improve the situation for you and other 

family members. 

If you feel that a family member or caregiver 

is taking advantage of you or mistreating you, 

let your doctor know. Some older people are 

abused by family members or others. Abuse can 

be physical, verbal, emotional, or even financial 

in nature. Your doctor may be able to provide 

resources or referrals to other services that can 

help if you are being mistreated. 

Sexuality 

Most health professionals now understand that 

sexuality remains important in later life. If you 

are not satisfied with your sex life, don’t just 

assume it’s due to your age. In addition to talking 

about age-related changes, you can ask your 

doctor about the effects of an illness or a disability 

on sexual function. Also, ask your doctor about 

the influence medications or surgery may have on 

your sex life. 

If you aren’t sure how to bring the topic up, try 

saying: “I have a personal question I would like 

to ask you...” or “I understand that this condition 

or medication can affect my body in many ways. 

Will it affect my sex life at all?” 

Summary 

Discussing Sensitive Subjects 

● Don’t hesitate to discuss sensitive 

subjects with your doctor. 

● Use brochures or booklets as props 

to introduce topics you may feel 

awkward discussing. 

● If you feel the doctor doesn’t take your 

concerns seriously, it might be time to 

think about changing doctors. 

Talking with Your Doctor 31 
Who Else Will Help? 

Involving Your 

Family and Friends 

● A family member or friend can be helpful during 

a doctor’s visit. 

● Remember you are still in control of the appointment. 

Overview

It can be helpful to take a family member or 

friend with you when you go to the doctor’s 

office. You may feel more confident if someone 

else is with you. Also, a relative or friend can 

help remind you about things you planned to tell 

or ask the doctor. He or she also can help you 

remember what the doctor says. 

Don’t let your companion take too strong a role. 

The visit is between you and the doctor. You 

may want some time alone with the doctor to 

discuss personal matters. If you are alone with 

the doctor during or right after the physical 

exam, this might be a good time to raise private 

concerns. Or, you could ask your family member 

or friend to stay in the waiting room for part 

of the appointment. For best results, let your 

companion know in advance how he or she 

can be most helpful. 

If a relative or friend helps with your care at 

home, bringing that person along when you 

visit the doctor may be useful. In addition to 

the questions you have, your caregiver may 

have concerns he or she wants to discuss 

with the doctor. Some things caregivers may 

find especially helpful to discuss are: what to 

expect in the future, sources of information and 

support, community services, and ways they can 

maintain their own well-being. 

Even if a family member or friend can’t go with 

you to your appointment, he or she can still 

help. For example, the person can serve as your 

sounding board, helping you practice what you 

want to say to the doctor before the visit. And 

after the visit, talking about what the doctor said 

can remind you of the important points and help 

you come up with questions to ask next time. 

Summary 

Involving Your Family and Friends 

● A family member or friend can be 

helpful during a doctor’s visit. 

● Remember you are still in control 

of the appointment. 

32 Involving Your Family and Friends 
Additional Resources 

For More Information
 

You can make the most of your time with 

your doctor by being informed. This often 

includes drawing on other sources of health 

information such as federal agencies (like the 

National Institutes of Health); online resources; 

books and articles available at libraries, national 

organizations, or associations; and self-help 

groups. 

The National Institute on Aging (NIA) has free 

information in English and Spanish. Call the NIA 

Information Center at 1-800-222-2225 or TTY at 

1-800-222-4225, or visit www.nia.nih.gov/health 

to order publications. You can sign up for email

alerts from NIA at this website. Spanish-language

publications are also available.

For free fact sheets and other publications about 

Alzheimer’s disease, contact NIA’s Alzheimer’s 

and related Dementias Education and Referral 

(ADEAR) Center toll-free at 1-800-438-4380, or 

visit www.nia.nih.gov/alzheimers. 

Good health care depends on good communication 

with your doctor and other healthcare professionals. 

Let the ideas in this booklet help you take a more 

active role in your health care. The following 

sampling of organizations have other resources 

that may be useful. 

National Institute 

on Aging 

www.nia.nih.gov 

Talking with Your Doctor 33 
General Resources 

National Institute on Aging 

Information Center 

1-800-222-2225 (toll-free)

1-800-222-4225 (TTY/toll-free)

niaic@nia.nih.gov (email)

www.nia.nih.gov/health

Centers for Disease 

Control and Prevention 

1-800-232-4636

(1-800-CDC-INFO; toll-free) 

1-888-232-6348 (TTY/toll-free)

cdcinfo@cdc.gov (email)

www.cdc.gov

Centers for Medicare and 

Medicaid Services 

1-800-633-4227

(1-800-MEDICARE; toll-free)

1-877-486-2048 (TTY/toll-free)

www.medicare.gov 

National Library of Medicine 

MedlinePlus 

www.medlineplus.gov 

Search for: 

“Advance Directives”
 

“Caregivers”
 

“End of Life Issues”
 

“Exercise”
 

“Memory”
 

“Motor Vehicle Safety”
 

National Institutes of Health 

1-301-496-4000

1-301-402-9612 (TTY)

nihinfo@od.nih.gov (email)

www.nih.gov

Administration on Aging 

Administration for 

Community Living 

1-202-401-4634 

aclinfo@acl.hhs.gov (email) 

www.acl.gov 

Advance Directives 

Health in Aging Foundation 

American Geriatrics Society 

1-800-563-4916 (toll-free)

info@healthinaging.org (email) 

www.healthinaging.org/

making-your-wishes-known

Alcohol 

National Institute on Alcohol 

Abuse and Alcoholism 

1-888-696-4222

(1-888-MY-NIAAA; toll-free)

niaaaweb-r@exchange.nih.gov

(email)

www.niaaa.nih.gov

Substance Abuse and 

Mental Health Services 

Administration 

1-877-726-4727 (toll-free)

1-800-662-4357 (national

helpline; toll-free)

1-800-487-4889 (TTY/toll-free)

samhsainfo@samhsa.hhs.gov

(email)

www.findtreatment.samhsa.

gov

Assisted Living 

Housing Choices 

AARP 

1-888-687-2277

(1-888-OUR-AARP; toll-free)

1-877-434-7598 (TTY/toll-free)

1-877-253-5908 (español/línea

gratis) 

member@aarp.org (email)

www.aarp.org

American Health Care 

Association 

1-800-321-0343 (toll-free)

www.careconversations.org

Nursing Home Compare 

Medicare 

www.medicare.gov/ 

nursinghomecompare 

End-of-Life Care 

National Hospice and 

Palliative Care Organization 

1-800-658-8898 (toll-free)

caringinfo@nhpco.org (email)

www.caringinfo.org

Driving and 

Transportation 

AARP Driver Safety Program 

1-888-687-2277

(1-888-OUR-AARP; toll-free)

1-877-434-7598 (TTY/toll-free)

1-877-253-5908 (español/línea

gratis)

member@aarp.org (email)

www.aarp.org/families/

driver_safety

National Highway Traffic 

Safety Administration 

1-888-327-4236 (toll-free)

1-800-424-9153 (TTY/toll-free)

ncsaweb@dot.gov (email) 

www.nhtsa.gov/road-safety/

older-drivers

34 For More Information 
Exercise 

American College of 

Sports Medicine 

1-317-637-9200 

publicinfo@acsm.org (email) 

www.acsm.org/publicinformation/brochures 

Go4Life® 

National Institute on Aging 

1-800-222-2225 (toll-free) 

1-800-222-4225 (TTY/toll-free) 

niaic@nia.nih.gov (email) 

www.nia.nih.gov/Go4Life 

President’s Council on Fitness, 

Sports, and Nutrition 

1-240-276-9567 

fitness@hhs.gov (email) 

www.fitness.gov 

Grief, Mourning, 

and Depression 

National Library of Medicine 

MedlinePlus: Bereavement 

www.medlineplus.gov/ 

bereavement.html 

HIV/AIDS 

AIDS.gov 

www.aids.gov 

Incontinence 

National Association 

for Continence 

1-800-252-3337 

(1-800-BLADDER; toll-free) 

memberservices@nafc.org 

(email) 

www.nafc.org 

Simon Foundation 

for Continence 

1-800-237-4666 

(1-800-23-SIMON; toll-free) 

info@simonfoundation.org 

(email) 

www.simonfoundation.org 

Medication 

Centers for Medicare and 

Medicaid Services 

1-800-633-4227 

(1-800-MEDICARE; toll-free) 

1-877-486-2048 (TTY/toll-free) 

www.medicare.gov/part-d 

U.S. Food and Drug 

Administration 

1-888-463-6332 

(1-888-INFO-FDA; toll-free) 

druginfo@fda.hhs.gov (email) 

www.fda.gov/ForConsumers 

Memory Problems 

Alzheimer’s Association 

1-800-272-3900 (toll-free; 24/7) 

1-866-403-3073 (TTY/toll-free; 

24/7) 

info@alz.org (email) 

www.alz.org 

Alzheimer’s and related 

Dementias Education and 

Referral (ADEAR) Center 

National Institute on Aging 

1-800-438-4380 (toll-free) 

1-800-222-4225 (TTY/toll-free) 

adear@nia.nih.gov (email) 

www.nia.nih.gov/alzheimers 

Problems with 

Family/Caregiving 

Eldercare Locator 

1-800-677-1116 

(toll-free; bilingual) 

www.eldercare.gov 

Family Caregiver Alliance 

1-800-445-8106 (toll-free) 

info@caregiver.org (email) 

www.caregiver.org 

National Alliance for Caregiving 

1-301-718-8444 

www.caregiving.org 

National Center on Elder Abuse 

U.S. Administration on Aging 

1-855-500-3537 

(1-855-500-ELDR; toll-free) 

ncea-info@aoa.hhs.gov (email) 

https://ncea.acl.gov 

Sexuality 

Services & Advocacy for 

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & 

Transgender Elders 

1-888-234-7243 

(1-888-234-SAGE; toll-free) 

info@sageusa.org (email) 

www.sageusa.org 

Talking with Your Doctor 35 
For Your Convenience 

Worksheets
 

36 Worksheets 
Worksheet 1 Concerns
 

At each visit, your doctor will likely ask about your concerns. It’s a good idea to think about what 

you’d like to talk about before the actual visit. This form can help you organize your thoughts. 

Make a copy of the blank form so you will always have a clean copy to use. Then, after you make an 

appointment, take a minute to write down the name of the doctor and the appointment details (for 

example, the date, time, and address). Use the form to make a list (in order, from most important to 

least important) of the concerns you want to discuss. 

Doctor: Appt. Date: Time: 

Address: Phone: 

Appointment Details (Most Important to Least Important): 

1 

2 

3 

4 

5 

6 

7 

8 

Notes: 

Talking with Your Doctor 37 
Worksheet 2 Changes to Discuss
 

Your doctor may want to know about any changes in your life since your last appointment. It is 

useful to consider what you should say before you see the doctor. The list below can help. Of course, 

all the things on this list won’t apply at every visit! Make a copy of the blank list so you will always 

have a clean copy to use. Then, take a minute to think about each of these possible topics. You 

may want to jot down when you first noticed each change. You can use the last column to note any 

additional information that may be helpful for the doctor to know. 

Your Health 

Topic Date Notes 

Bone/joint pain 

or stiffness 

Bowel problems 

Chest pain 

Feeling dizzy 

or lightheaded 

Headaches 

Hearing changes 

Losing urine or feeling wet

Recent hospitalizations 

or emergencies 

Shortness of breath 

Skin changes 

Vision changes 

38 Worksheets 
Your Diet, Medication, and Lifestyle 

Topic Date Notes 

Alcohol use 

Appetite changes 

Diet/nutrition 

Medicines 

Tobacco use 

Weight changes 

Your Thoughts and Feelings 

Feeling lonely or isolated 

Feeling sad, down, or blue 

Intimacy or sexual activity 

Problems with memory 

or thinking 

Problems with sleep or 

changes in sleep patterns

 Everyday Living 

Accidents, injuries, or falls 

Advance directives 

Daily activities 

Driving/transportation/ 

mobility 

Exercise 

Living situation 

Talking with Your Doctor 39 
 

Worksheet 3 Medications
 

You may be taking many different medicines as well as numerous vitamins and over-the-counter 

drugs. It can be confusing to keep track of everything! This form can help. Because your medication 

regimen may change over time, make a copy of the blank form so you will always have a clean copy 

to use. Try to bring a completed and updated copy of this form to every doctor appointment. 

Name Date What It’s For Doctor Color/Shape Dose and Instructions of Drug Started 

40 Worksheets 
Any Suggestions? 

Closing Thoughts 

If you have suggestions to add to future editions of this publication or 

other ideas for making it more helpful, please contact National Institute 

on Aging, Office of Communications and Public Liaison, Building 31, 

Room 5C27, 31 Center Drive MSC 2292, Bethesda, MD 20892-2292; 

niaic@nia.nih.gov. 

OM CDC.NEEVIL: NGISED
National Institute 

on Aging 

NIH Publication No. 16 -AG -3452
 

December 2016