U.S. Department of Justice 

Office of Justice Programs 

Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention 

• you are not alone; families can and do survive • there is no right or wrong way to 

respond; there is no right or wrong way to feel • hope is essential to your survival • 

to give your child the best chances of being found, you and law enforcement must 

treat one another as partners • base your relationship with law enforcement on 

mutual re spect, trust, and honesty; however, you don’t have to agree on every detail 

• trust your feelings, instincts, and gut reactions; share them with law enforcement 

so they can be checked out • don’t be afraid to make suggestions or air differences of 

opinion • contact the media immediately; they can be a very effective tool in asking for help • if you are unable to speak alone, select someone to function as your 

media spokesperson • remember 

that you control the situation, the 

media do not con trol you • you have 

the right to say  no to an interview 

• you have the right to refrain from 

answer ing  questions if doing so 

makes you  feel uncomfortable • 

you have  the right to completely 

give your side of the story • you 

have the right to be treated with dignity  and respect • let people know 

you love your child and need their 

help in finding and bringing your child 

home • hold a prayer or candlelight 

vigil • distributing pictures and information is an es sential part of search 

and recov ery • get as many people 

and or ganizations as possible to 

distrib ute your child’s picture • plug 

into NCMEC’s photo distribution 

services • place reward posters where those people most likely to have information 

can see them • the many offers of support will carry you through; when people ask 

what they can do, try to tell them something specific • don’t be afraid to ask for what 

you need . . . people really do want to help • as long as you have specific tasks for 

volunteers to perform, they won’t go away • asking volunteers to help relieves you of 

the burden of trying to do everything yourself, which you cannot • many organizations 

are poised to help you find your missing child • do everything you can to take care of 

yourself • it is okay, even necessary, to take a break from the stress for dinner and 

a walk • don’t blame yourself . . . at any given moment, you are doing the best you 

possibly can • you do not have to be an “emotional rock” for extended family • seek 

peace and solace for yourself, encourage family members to do the same • a laugh 

can be as cleansing as a good cry • your child needs you to be strong • bring the 

needs of your other children into balance with those of your missing child • don’t let 

your loss become a taboo subject • keep a notebook with you to record your thoughts 

and review it periodically • keep your focus and exercise caution • never stop looking

When Your

Child

 Is Missing:

 A Family 

 Survival Guide
National Center for Missing & 

Exploited Children®

699 Prince Street 

Alexandria, VA 22314–3175 

800–THE–LOST® (800–843–5678) (Hotline for the

 United States, Canada, and Mexico), 

 800–826–7653 (TTY), or 703–274–3900 

703–274–2200 (Fax) 

Internet: www.missingkids.com 

CyberTipline: www.cybertipline.com

 Branch Offices

 California: 714–508–0150 

 Florida: 561–848–1900 

 Kansas City (MO): 816–756–5422 

 New York: 585–242–0900 

 South Carolina: 803–254–2326 

 Texas: 512–465–2156

Child Protection Division

Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency 

 Prevention 

Office of Justice Programs 

U.S. Department of Justice 

810 Seventh Street NW. 

Washington, DC 20531 

202–616–3637 

202–307–2819 (Fax) 

Internet: www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ojjdp

Office for Victims of Crime

Office of Justice Programs 

U.S. Department of Justice 

810 Seventh Street NW. 

Washington, DC 20531 

202–307–5983 

202–514–6383 (Fax) 

Internet: www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc

Federal Bureau of Investigation

See the front of your local telephone book for the 

number of your local FBI Field Office.

FBI Headquarters

Special Investigations and Initiatives Unit 

Crimes Against Children Unit 

935 Pennsylvania Avenue NW. 

Washington, DC 20535–0001 

202–324–3666 

202–324–2731 (Fax)

Association of Missing and Exploited 

Children’s Organizations, Inc.

Internet: www.amecoinc.org

Contact Organizations

Office of Justice Programs

Innovation • Partnerships • Safer Neighborhoods

www.ojp.usdoj.gov
When Your

Child

 Is Missing:

 A Family 

 Survival Guide

Fourth Edition

May 2010

Jeff Slowikowski, Acting Administrator

Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention

Office of Justice Programs

U.S. Department of Justice

NCJ 228735
The Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention is a component of the Office of Justice 

Programs, which also includes the Bureau of Justice Assistance; the Bureau of Justice Statistics; the 

Community Capacity Development Office; the National Institute of Justice; the Office for Victims 

of Crime; and the Office of Sex Offender Sentencing, Monitoring, Apprehending, Registering, and 

Tracking (SMART).

U.S. Department of Justice

Office of Justice Programs

Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention

810 Seventh Street NW. 

Washington, DC 20531

Eric H. Holder, Jr.

Attorney General

Laurie O. Robinson

Assistant Attorney General

Jeff Slowikowski

Acting Administrator

This document was prepared by Fox Valley Technical College under cooperative agreement number 

2008–MC–CX–K005 from the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, U.S. Department 

of Justice. This edition is updated from the third printing.
I remember standing in the middle 

of the chaos thinking, I wish I had 

a book to tell me what to do.

—Colleen Nick

Office of the Attorney General

Washington, D.C. 20530

Message From Attorney General Eric H. Holder, Jr.

Nothing is more important to parents than the safety and welfare of their children. When a child 

disappears, it is critically important for parents to know that there are resources readily available to 

help. Law enforcement officers, agencies with expertise in recovering missing children, family 

members, and neighbors are only some of the people who will do everything in their power to help 

in the search for a missing child. 

When Your Child Is Missing: A Family Survival Guide is another resource that was created for 

this very purpose. It provides firsthand knowledge and sound advice about what to do when your 

child is missing, whom to contact, and how to best assist law enforcement. 

The U.S. Department of Justice is committed to ensuring that this important work is readily 

available to every family that needs it. We offer this Guide as a practical tool, but also as a 

visible sign of our concern and support for all families who are working in partnership with their 

communities for their children’s safe return.

Eric H. Holder, Jr.

Attorney General

U.S. Department of Justice

Office of Justice Programs

Office of the Assistant Attorney General

Washington, D.C. 20531

Message From Assistant Attorney General Laurie O. Robinson

As a parent, I cannot imagine anything more difficult than not knowing where your 

children are or how they are being treated. Every day across America, children are 

abducted by family members and acquaintances, and sometimes by strangers. 

Families traumatized by abduction are faced with the simultaneous challenge of 

quickly marshaling all available resources to recover their missing child while dealing 

with the devastation of their loss. 

When Your Child Is Missing: A Family Survival Guide was written 12 years ago by 

parents who had experienced firsthand the trauma of a missing child and who wanted to 

help other parents facing the same overpowering loss. To ensure that the information it 

provides is as helpful as possible, it has been thoroughly revised and updated.

I look forward to the day when we no longer have to search for missing children. But 

until that day arrives, I hope that the Family Survival Guide will continue to assist families 

in their time of greatest need. 

Laurie O. Robinson

Assistant Attorney General

ix

Foreword

Each year, nearly 1.3 million children are reported missing. Although the unforeseen absence 

of a child is always upsetting, fortunately most missing children are returned home in a short 

period of time. This fact, however, provides little consolation for the parents of children whose 

whereabouts and welfare remain unknown.

Twelve years ago, When Your Child Is Missing: A Family Survival Guide was written by parents and family members who had experienced the loss of a child. The Guide provides helpful 

advice for parents whose children are missing and also offers encouragement and support.

The increased pervasiveness of online media has led to the victimization of a greater number 

of children via the Internet. It is important for parents to be adequately informed about the 

dangers their children face online. Accordingly, the Family Survival Guide has been updated 

to include current information on new technologies, particularly those that play a role in facilitating Internet crimes against children.

My heartfelt hope is that you never face the devastation of child abduction. For those who do, 

however, I hope that these pages prove to be of some assistance in helping you to find your 

way in such a difficult time.

Jeff Slowikowski

Acting Administrator

Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention

xi

Acknowledgments

The Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention (OJJDP) is grateful to all of the people 

who gave their time, energy, and talent to developing this Guide, especially the following parents 

who know firsthand the pain, suffering, and hope of families with missing children:

Heather Cox and Marion Boburka, mother and grandmother, respectively, of Shelby 

Cox, who was found murdered on November 18, 1995.

Colleen Nick, mother of Morgan Nick, who has been missing since June 9, 1995.

Claudine and Don Ryce, parents of Jimmy Ryce, who was found murdered on 

December 9, 1995.

Patrick Sessions, father of Tiffany Sessions, who has been missing since 

February 9, 1989.

Patty Wetterling, mother of Jacob Wetterling, who has been missing since 

October 22, 1989.

This group of parents created this Guide as a labor of love and as a message of hope and encouragement for families whose children are still missing. Their courage and strength are greatly 

admired.

OJJDP also thanks the many professionals who have given their time and effort to find children 

who are missing, who have worked to prevent children from being abducted, and who have put 

together this Guide for families facing this crisis. This includes Tom Weeden, Nadia Tunstall, 

and Dave Peifer of Fox Valley Technical College and Nancy McBride of the National Center for 

Missing & Exploited Children. OJJDP also acknowledges and thanks the many individuals who 

painstakingly reviewed the Guide to make sure that it provides parents with the information they 

so desperately need during these crises. Special thanks also go to Ron Laney, Director of OJJDP’s 

Child Protection Division, for his constant guidance, support, and commitment to missing children 

and their parents and who inspired the creation of this Guide.

We especially want to thank Claudine Ryce, the mother of Jimmy Ryce, who passed away in 2009. 

Her ongoing commitment to and compassion for protecting children provided much strength and 

hope for families throughout the nation. She will be eternally missed.

This Guide is dedicated to all the children who are separated from their families. Our hope is that 

you always know that the search will continue until you are found.

xiii

Table of Contents

Message From Attorney General Eric H. Holder, Jr. ........................................................ v

Message From Assistant Attorney General Laurie O. Robinson ...................................vii

Foreword .............................................................................................................................. ix

Acknowledgments .............................................................................................................. xi

Introduction ..........................................................................................................................1

 Checklist: What You Should Do When Your Child Is First Missing ..............................2

 The AMBER Alert Plan .................................................................................................4

Chapter 1: The Search .........................................................................................................5

 Your Role in the Search: The First 48 Hours ................................................................5

 The Role of Law Enforcement in the Search ...............................................................5

 The Role of Volunteers in the Search ...........................................................................7

 After the First 48 Hours: The Long-Term Search .........................................................8

 The Role of Private Detectives and Psychics in the Long-Term Search ....................10

 Key Points ...................................................................................................................12

 Checklist: Gathering Evidence in the First 48 Hours ..................................................14

Chapter 2: Law Enforcement ............................................................................................17

 Your Partnership With Law Enforcement ...................................................................17

 Key Points ...................................................................................................................20

 Checklist: Working With Law Enforcement ...............................................................21

Chapter 3: The Media .........................................................................................................25

 Media Involvement: The First 48 Hours .....................................................................25

 Media Involvement: After the First 48 Hours .............................................................28

 Key Points ...................................................................................................................32

 Checklist: Conducting Interviews With the Media .....................................................33

Chapter 4: Photo and Flier Distribution ..........................................................................37

 Photo and Flier Distribution: The First 48 Hours ........................................................37

 Photo and Flier Distribution: After the First 48 Hours ................................................41

 Key Points ...................................................................................................................44

 Checklist: Distributing Fliers .......................................................................................45
xiv

Chapter 5: Volunteers ........................................................................................................47

 Making the Best Use of Volunteers ...........................................................................47

 Using Untrained Volunteers in the Search Effort .......................................................49

 Using Trained Volunteers in the Search Effort ...........................................................50

 Key Points ...................................................................................................................51

 Checklist: Working With Volunteer Searchers ............................................................52

Chapter 6: Rewards and Donations ..................................................................................55

 Monetary Rewards .....................................................................................................55

 Monetary Donations ...................................................................................................56

 Key Points ...................................................................................................................58

 Checklist: Selecting a Tipline for Leads ......................................................................59

Chapter 7: Personal and Family Considerations .............................................................61

 Regaining Your Emotional and Physical Strength .......................................................61

 Mentally Preparing for the Long Term .......................................................................64

 Helping Your Other Children To Regain Their Physical and Emotional Strength .......64

 Helping Extended Family Members To Regain Their Physical and 

 Emotional Strength ...................................................................................................67

 Key Points ...................................................................................................................69

 Checklist: Figuring Out How To Pay Your Bills ..........................................................71

Recommended Readings and Other Resources ..............................................................73

Additional Resources .........................................................................................................79

About the Parent Authors .................................................................................................89

Index ....................................................................................................................................93
1

Introduction

When your child is missing, your whole world 

seems to fall apart. You are bombarded by 

questions from friends, neighbors, the police, 

and the media and forced to make decisions 

that you never thought you would have to 

make. You feel desperate, confused, isolated. 

You may feel that you have nowhere to go for 

help or support.

Many parents who have faced similar crises 

have said that they wished they had a book to 

tell them where to turn when their child was 

missing. They felt that they were left on their 

own to figure out what to do. They longed 

for someone to give them direction or to tell 

them where to go for help and what needs 

to be done. They also wished they had known 

what to expect and how to respond.

This Guide was written by parents and family 

members who have experienced the disappearance of a child. It contains their combined 

advice concerning what you can expect when 

your child is missing, what you can do, and 

where you can go for help. It explains the role 

that various agencies and organizations play 

in the search for your missing child and discusses some of the important issues that you 

and your family need to consider. The first 

checklist, What You Should Do When Your 

Child Is First Missing, summarizes the most 

critical steps that parents should take when 

their child is first missing, including whom 

to call, what to do to preserve evidence, and 

where to turn for help.

The rest of the Guide is divided into seven 

chapters, each of which is structured to allow 

you to find the information you need quickly 

and easily. Each chapter explains both the 

short- and long-term issues and contains a 

checklist and chapter summary for later reference. Chapter 1, The Search, focuses on the 

search for your child and explains how you 

as a parent can best participate in the search. 

Chapter 2, Law Enforcement, describes 

your relationship with law enforcement and 

offers tips that will help you work together 

effectively. Chapter 3, The Media, examines 

issues related to the media, including media 

packages, press conferences, and interviews. 

Chapter 4, Photo and Flier Distribution, offers 

suggestions for producing fliers about your 

child and for managing the photo and flier 

distribution process. Chapter 5, Volunteers, 

focuses on the many uses of volunteers—

both trained and untrained—to help in the 

search and to provide for the needs of the 

family. Chapter 6, Rewards and Donations, 

discusses the use of rewards and the management of monetary donations. Chapter 7, 

Personal and Family Considerations, emphasizes the need to take care of yourself, your 

children, and members of your extended family. A list of recommended readings and a list 

of public and private resources appear at the 

back of the Guide.

It is important to note that there is no right or 

wrong way to respond to the disappearance 

of a child, nor is there a right or wrong way 

to feel. The path you follow must be right for 

you. What makes sense for you will be based 

on your needs, your experiences, and your 

circumstances. Our hope is that the Guide

will help you to make informed decisions 

about what you do and how you go about it.

You may find that the information in this 

Guide is overwhelming right now. If so, 

ask family members, friends, or other support persons to read it for you. They can 

help you take the steps needed to help 

recover your missing child.

Finally, as hard as it may seem, try to remain 

hopeful. Remember that hope is more than a 

wish, helping you to clear this hurdle. Hope is 

essential to your survival.
2

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Checklist: What You Should Do 

When Your Child Is First Missing

The first 48 hours following the disappearance of a child are the most critical in terms of finding and 

returning that child safely home—but they also can be the most troublesome and chaotic. Use this 

checklist during those first hours to help you do everything you can to increase the chances of recovering 

your child—but if more than 48 hours have passed since your child disappeared, you should still try to 

tend to these items as quickly as possible. All of the action steps described here are covered in greater 

detail later in the Guide to help you gain a better understanding of what you should be doing and why.

The First 24 Hours

Immediately report your child as missing to your local law enforcement agency. Ask investigators to 

enter your child into the National Crime Information Center (NCIC) Missing Persons File. There is no 

waiting period for entry into NCIC.

Request that law enforcement put out a Be On the Look Out (BOLO) bulletin. Ask them about involving the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) in the search for your child.

Ask your law enforcement agency about the AMBER Alert Plan (America’s Missing: Broadcast Emergency Response). Through AMBER Alert, law enforcement agencies and broadcasters activate an 

urgent bulletin in the most serious child abduction cases (see page 4 for more information on the 

AMBER Alert Plan).

Limit access to your home until law enforcement arrives and has collected possible evidence. Do not 

touch or remove anything from your child’s room or from your home. Remember that clothing, sheets, 

personal items, computers, and even trash may hold clues to the whereabouts of your child. The 

checklist in chapter 1 (Gathering Evidence in the First 48 Hours) contains detailed information about 

securing your child’s room and computer and preserving evidence.

Ask for the name and telephone number of the law enforcement investigator assigned to your case, 

and keep this information in a safe and convenient place near the telephone and program it into your 

cell phone.

Give law enforcement investigators all the facts and circumstances related to the disappearance of 

your child, including what efforts have already been made to search for your child.

Write a detailed description of the clothing worn by your child and the personal items he or she had 

at the time of the disappearance. Include in your description any personal identification marks, such as 

birthmarks, scars, tattoos, or mannerisms, that may help in finding your child. If possible, find a picture 

of your child that shows these identification marks and give it to law enforcement. See the chapter 1 

checklist (Gathering Evidence in the First 48 Hours) for more details.

Make a list of friends, acquaintances, and anyone else who might have information or clues about your 

child’s whereabouts. Include telephone numbers and addresses, if possible. Tell your law en forcement 

investigator about anyone who moved in or out of the neighborhood within the past year, anyone whose 

interest in or involvement with the family changed in recent months, and anyone who appeared to be 

overly interested in your child. Also list your child’s Internet interests; favorite sites and games; and Internet 

friends from MySpace, Facebook, and other social networking sites.

Find recent photographs of your child in both black and white and color. Scan electronically and make 

copies of these pictures for your law enforcement agency, the media, your state missing children’s 

clearinghouse, the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children® (NCMEC), and other nonprofit 

organizations. Chapter 4 (Photo and Flier Distribution) contains suggestions on how to produce and distribute fliers and posters.

Call NCMEC at 800–THE–LOST® (800–843–5678) to ask for help. Also, ask for the telephone numbers 

of other nonprofit organizations that might be able to help.

Look in the Additional Resources section at the end of this Guide to find the telephone number of your 

state missing children’s clearinghouse. Then, call your clearinghouse to find out what resources and services it can provide in the search for your child.
3

I n t r o d u c t i o n

Ask your law enforcement agency to organize a search for your child. Ask them about using tracking or trailing dogs (preferably bloodhounds) in the search effort. Read chapters 1 (The Search) 

and 5 (Volunteers) as you prepare for the search.

Ask your law enforcement agency for help in contacting the media. Chapter 3 (The Media) contains advice on working with the media.

Designate one person to answer your telephone. Keep a notebook or pad of paper by the telephone so this person can jot down names, telephone numbers, dates and times of calls, and 

other information relating to each call.

Keep a notebook or pad of paper with you at all times to write down your thoughts or questions 

and record important information, such as names, dates, or telephone numbers.

Take good care of yourself and your family because your child needs you to be strong. As hard as 

it may be, force yourself to get rest, eat nourishing food, and talk to someone about your tumultuous feelings. When you can, read chapter 7 (Personal and Family Considerations).

The Second 24 Hours

Talk with your law enforcement investigator about the steps that are being taken to find your 

child. If your law enforcement investigator does not have a copy of Missing and Abducted Children: A Law Enforcement Guide to Case Investigation and Program Management, suggest that 

he or she call NCMEC at 800–THE–LOST® (800–843–5678) to obtain one. Also, your law enforcement investigator can contact the Crimes Against Children Coordinator in the local FBI Field Office 

to obtain a copy of the FBI’s Child Abduction Response Plan.

Expand your list of friends, acquaintances, extended family members, yard workers, delivery persons, and anyone who may have seen your child during or following the abduction.

Look at personal calendars, community events calendars, and newspapers to see if there are any 

clues as to who was in the vicinity and might be the abductor or a possible witness. Give this 

information to law enforcement. Save a copy of the local newspaper.

Expect that you will be asked to take a polygraph test, which is standard procedure. Volunteer to 

take a polygraph right away. If you have not done so yet, read chapter 1 (The Search).

Work with your NCMEC case manager to identify locations where your child’s poster could be 

distributed. When the case is media ready, NCMEC sends posters to the geographic area where 

the child is believed to be located. If you have not already read chapter 4 (Photo and Flier Distribution), try to read it now.

Work with your law enforcement agency to schedule press releases and media events. If necessary, ask someone close to you to serve as your media spokesperson. Chapter 3 (The Media) provides tips on working with the media.

Talk to your law enforcement agency about the use of a reward. When you can, read chapter 6 

(Rewards and Donations).

Report all extortion attempts to law enforcement.

Have a second telephone line installed with call forwarding. Get caller ID and call waiting. Ask law 

enforcement to install a phone in your home that can be used to record calls. Get a cell phone or 

pager so you can be reached when you are away from home.

Take care of yourself. Don’t be afraid to ask others to take care of your physical and emotional 

needs and those of your family. Read chapter 7 (Personal and Family Considerations) for specific 

suggestions. Contact your place of employment to see if coworkers are willing to help.

Make a list of things that volunteers can do for you and your family. See chapter 5 (Volunteers) 

for ideas.

Call your child’s doctor and dentist and ask for copies of medical records and x rays. Give them to 

law enforcement.

Talk to your law enforcement agency about creating a Web site to capture information on leads. 

Designate a screened and trusted volunteer to manage the Web site.
4

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

The AMBER Alert Plan

What Is the AMBER Alert Plan?

The AMBER Alert Plan is a tool that law enforcement agencies can use to safely recover abducted children. 

It should be one component of the law enforcement agency’s broader child recovery plan.

The AMBER Alert Plan is a voluntary partnership among law enforcement agencies, media outlets, and transportation agencies. This partnership focuses on the recovery of abducted children by disseminating timely 

and accurate information about the child, the suspected abductor, and the vehicle used in the commission 

of the crime. Through AMBER Alert, law enforcement agencies and broadcasters activate an urgent news 

bulletin in the most serious child abduction cases. Broad casters use the Emergency Alert System (EAS), 

formerly called the Emergency Broadcast System, to air a description of the missing child and suspected 

abductor. Under appropriate circumstances, transportation authorities can use changeable message signs 

(CMS) to communicate important AMBER Alert information to motorists.

How Does the AMBER Alert Plan Work?

Once law enforcement is notified about an abducted child, it first determines if the case meets the 

AMBER Alert Plan’s criteria for triggering an alert. The U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ) suggests that 

the following criteria be met before an alert is activated:

n Law enforcement believes an abduction has occurred.

The child is 17 years old or younger.

Law enforcement believes the child is in imminent danger of serious bodily harm or death.

Sufficient descriptive information about the victim and the abduction exists to believe that an 

 immediate AMBER Alert broadcast will help.

The child’s name and other critical information, including the fact that the case is considered a 

child abduction, have been entered into the NCIC system.

n

n

n

n

If these criteria are met, alert information is put together and sent to media outlets designated as primary 

stations under EAS, which in turn send the same information to area radio, television, and cable systems 

where it is broadcast to millions of listeners. Radio stations interrupt programming to announce the alert 

and television and cable stations run a “crawl” on the screen with a picture of the missing child. CMS can 

also be used to display information to motorists. In addition, citizens can receive text messages of AMBER 

Alerts on their cell phones. You can sign up for this service at www.wirelessamberalerts.org.

For more information about the AMBER Alert Plan, visit DOJ’s Web site at www.ojp.usdoj.gov/amberalert.

Is an AMBER Alert Issued for Every Missing Child?

AMBER Alerts are issued by a law enforcement agency in cooperation with the media if the circumstances surrounding the child’s disappearance meet local or state AMBER Alert criteria. If the 

 circumstances do not meet the criteria, remember that the media can still be called on to help in the 

recovery of your child. See chapter 3 (The Media).

If we could have gotten the word out immediately when 

Morgan disappeared, I’m certain she would be home with 

me today. With the AMBER Alert Plan . . . time is now 

on the side of every parent and child.

—Colleen Nick

4

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e
When a child is reported missing, emotions 

become raw, which can hinder the ability of 

parents to make rational decisions. Yet, the 

actions of parents and of law enforcement in 

the first 48 hours are critical to the safe recovery of a missing child. Knowing what you can 

do, what others can do, and where to go for 

help will not only expedite the search and 

recovery of your child, it also will help to ease 

the emotional and financial burden of the 

search. This chapter examines your role and 

the role of others in the immediate search for 

your missing child and discusses what steps 

should be taken in the event that your child 

does not return within the first few days.

Your Role 

in the 

Search: 

The First 

48 Hours

In the initial stage of the 

search, devote your time 

to providing information 

to and answering questions from investigators.

Once you discover that 

your child is missing, you 

will desperately want to 

help with the search. You 

may, in fact, wonder how 

you possibly can stand by 

and let others look for your 

child. But the reality is that 

in most instances, the best 

use of your energy is not 

on the physical search itself. Rather, you need 

to provide information to and answer questions 

from investigators and to be at home in the 

event your child calls or returns. The checklist 

Gathering Evidence in the First 48 Hours identifies the most crucial pieces of background information and evidence that law enforcement will 

need in the search for your child.

The Role of Law 

Enforcement in 

the Search

When a child has disappeared, most of 

the initial searching of the area where the 

child is believed to have been last will be 

coordinated by law enforcement—either 

federal, state, or 

local, de pending on 

the circumstances of 

the disappearance.

Law enforcement 

needs to direct the 

search effort in order 

to make sure that 

the search is coordinated and performed 

properly and that the 

evidence located during the search—and 

at the crime scene—is 

properly protected and 

 preserved.

Usually, law enforcement agencies can 

quickly obtain the 

necessary equipment and mobilize 

additional personnel 

by bringing in outside forces. Because 

time is a critical factor in the search and 

5

The Search

Not knowing where your child is or if he or she is okay is the hardest 

thing in the world to handle.

—Colleen Nick

CHAPTER 1

I remember sitting around 

our kitchen table on the first 

night our son was taken when 

the investigators asked me, 

“Is there anybody who liked 

Jacob too much? Who gave 

him special attention or presents? Who wanted to take 

him places?” I never dreamed 

that a nice person could have 

taken our son or that the most 

common lure is attention and 

affection.

—Patty Wetterling
6

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Telephone Telephone Tips Tips

% If you do not already have one, buy a cell phone or pager so you can be reached when 

you are away from home. This also allows you to keep your main phone line open.

Install a phone with the ability to record calls.

Ask your telephone company to install caller ID on your telephone line.

Keep a phone log, a pad of paper, or a spiral notebook next to the phone to record the 

date and time of phone calls, the name of the caller, and other information. 

%

%

%

recovery effort, equipment and staff should 

be requested at the beginning of the process. 

Your local agency may request that tracking 

or trailing dogs, infrared devices that locate 

heat given off from the body, or helicopters 

be delivered to the scene and may request 

help from the Border Patrol, the Coast Guard, 

the National Guard, other military personnel, or correctional institution staff. Many of 

these groups are already trained in search 

procedures, and their established chain of 

command makes the search ef fort more likely 

to be thorough, comprehensive, and efficient. 

In addition, the FBI maintains Field Offices 

that have Evidence Response Teams that 

could be of assistance in cases of missing 

or abducted children. Your local law enforcement agency may issue an AMBER Alert. 

Do not hesitate to ask the agency about the 

steps it will take to safely locate and return 

your child.

In many communities, law enforcement 

agencies have an established child recovery plan, similar to an emergency relief 

or disaster plan, to guide their search and 

recovery efforts. Ask your law enforcement 

agency about its plan. Make sure the agency 

has a copy of Missing and Abducted Children: 

A Law Enforcement Guide to Case Investigation and Program Management (published by 

NCMEC), which provides step-by-step instructions on how to respond to and investigate 

missing children cases and details procedures 

for conducting and managing the search. Also, 

make sure that your law enforcement agency 

has a copy of the Child Abduction Response 

Plan (published by the FBI and available from 

local Crimes Against Children Coordinators in 

FBI Field Offices), which emphasizes the techniques that are essential in conducting abduction investigations.

Typically, your law enforcement agency 

will designate one or two persons to coordinate and manage the search. Ask for the 

name and telephone number of your law 

enforcement coordinator as soon as possible. 

Keep this information where you can find it in 

a safe, convenient place and program it into 

your cell phone. Keep the lines of communi ca -

tion open between you and your search coordinator. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, make 

suggestions, or air differences of opinion.

Find out what types of searches are 

planned. Searches can be conducted in 

several ways:

n A crime scene search of the areas where 

your child was last seen.

A door-to-door search (canvass).

An Internet technology equipment search.

A grid search.

A land, sea, or air search.

A roadblock search, which may involve 

stopping cars at the same time of day at 

the location where your child was last 

seen. Because people are creatures of 

n

n

n

n

n
7

T h e S e a r c h

habit and tend to take the same route 

each day, roadblock searches sometimes 

produce witnesses who saw your child, 

who observed someone hanging around 

the area, or who remember an out-of-place 

vehicle.

Ask your search coordinator what types of 

searches are being conducted, and make sure 

you feel comfortable that the search effort is 

adequate.

Records documenting which areas were 

searched, who was present, and what 

was found will be kept. Law enforcement 

will maintain a record showing what areas 

have been searched and by whom. A second 

search of critical areas for information and 

clues might be advisable because something 

may have been overlooked during the initial 

search.

Tracking or trailing dogs, preferably bloodhounds, should be brought immediately to 

the scene where your child was last seen.

The fresher the trail, the more likely the dogs 

will be able to find your child. Bloodhounds 

are your best bet because they have 60 

times the tracking power of German shepherds, can discriminate among scents, and 

can follow your child’s scent in the air and on 

the ground. This means that they may be able 

to pick up your child’s scent even if he or she 

was carried in someone’s arms or in a vehicle.

The Role of 

Volunteers in 

the Search

If volunteers are used in the search, your 

law enforcement agency should still be 

responsible for managing the overall 

search effort. The extent to which volunteers 

are used in the search will depend on whether 

additional personnel—beyond the military—

are needed. A volunteer search coordinator 

may be needed to organize the volunteer 

search effort.

Try to recruit established organizations, 

agencies, or groups—rather than individual 

volunteers—in the search. The use of affiliated groups makes it possible to quickly gather 

and organize a large number of volunteers. 

It also provides an inner chain of command, 

which makes communication and training 

 easier, and provides an internal screening 

mechanism.

When volunteers are used, request that 

the volunteer staging area be located away 

from your home. There will be enough traffic, 

chaos, and confusion at your home without 

the added burden of volunteer search teams.

All volunteer searchers should be required 

to sign in each time they participate in a 

search activity. The sign-in procedure can 

be as simple as asking the volunteer searchers to show their driver’s licenses and to list 

in a log book their names, addresses, and 

organizational affiliations, such as the Boy 

Scouts, local labor union, place of business, 

or local post of the Veterans of Foreign Wars. 

Keep all records for future reference.

A more elaborate sign-in procedure 

involves videotaping the sign-in and 

search efforts. Although it is impossible to 

videotape every search from start to finish, 

videotapes that show the searchers, the 

sign-in process, and the search locations can 

provide valuable information about possible 

clues and suspects. Some situations that 

seem innocent initially, such as the repeated 

appearance of an overly concerned searcher, 

may not be as innocent as they appear.

Request that law enforcement run background checks for prior criminal activity 

on persons volunteering for the search. In 

previous cases, thieves, pedophiles, and even 

the missing child’s abductor have been known 

to join in a search. Background checks can prevent misguided people from volunteering and 

sometimes can provide information that helps 

law enforcement conduct the search.
Have your volunteer coordinator talk with 

law enforcement to determine whether 

additional equipment or personnel are 

needed. Contact local businesses, missing children’s organizations, NCMEC, the Association 

of Missing and Exploited Children’s Organizations, Inc. (AMECO), your 

state missing children’s 

clearinghouse, or other 

agencies to obtain the 

necessary supplies or tap 

into a network of people.

Further information 

about resources that 

can help with the 

search can be obtained 

by calling NCMEC.

Established in 1984 as 

a private, nonprofit organization, NCMEC serves as a clearinghouse 

of information on missing and exploited children. It also provides technical assistance to 

both citizens and law enforcement agencies, 

distributes photographs and descriptions of 

missing children nationwide, and networks 

with nonprofit service providers and state 

clearinghouses on missing children. NCMEC 

can be contacted at its headquarters in 

 Virginia or in one of its nine branch offices in 

 California, Florida (two), Kansas, New York 

(three), South Carolina, and Texas.

After the First 

48 Hours: 

The Long-Term 

Search

When the search for a child becomes long 

term, not all parents can or will want to be 

actively involved in the search. It is okay if 

you choose not to be involved. But if you 

want to remain active in the long-term search 

effort, there are a number of things that you 

and other family members, friends, or volunteers can do to aid in the process.

Develop a plan and set a schedule with 

goals for continuing the search for your 

child. Work with law enforcement to figure 

out what role you and others can play in the 

long-term search. This Guide can help, especially chapters 3 (The Media) and 4 (Photo and 

Flier Distribution).

Schedule regular visits 

with your investigator.

Set up a schedule for 

you and your investigator to review the status 

of the investigation 

and to give each other 

updates. However, if 

you have new, important information, make 

sure that you give it 

to law enforcement as 

soon as possible. Ask your law enforcement 

agency about using the services of Team 

Adam to assist with the ongoing investigation 

(Team Adam is described on page 21).

Ask to see your child’s case file periodically. You may recognize something meaningful that was overlooked or remember 

something significant that law enforcement 

was not aware of. Be aware that there may 

be pieces of information that law enforcement cannot—or does not want to—release 

to you because it may jeopardize or hinder 

the investigation. This is okay. Some states 

do not allow the release of police reports until 

a case is closed. Ask your search coordinator 

what information can be legally released to 

you or what you are allowed to see.

Keep a spiral notebook with you to record 

your thoughts and review it periodically.

When you reread your notebook or journal, 

you may find a passage that triggers a new 

idea or reminds you of something you had 

previously forgotten. Advise law enforcement 

about any new thoughts you have about the 

disappearance of your child.

Consider offering a reward for the safe 

return of your child. Chapter 6 contains specific information on the reward offer.

8

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

The offer of true genuine 

support in the first few days 

will carry you through.

—Marion Boburka
9

T h e S e a r c h

Find out what Crime Stoppers can do 

to help with the search. Crime Stoppers 

answers telephone calls 24 hours a day, 

knows how to take tip information, promises 

anonymity to callers, and maintains a good 

working relationship with law enforcement. If 

you like, ask to attend one of their meetings. 

If they agree, their telephone number may 

be a good choice for calls about a reward, 

because NCMEC will not provide reward 

information on its toll-free line.

Inquire about other programs that can be 

used for crime tips and rewards. Talk with 

your law enforcement agency and prosecutor’s office to see if they know of other local, 

state, regional, or national programs that can 

be used to report crime tips or offer rewards.

Contact NCMEC, the state missing children’s 

clearinghouses in the 50 states, AMECO, 

and other missing children’s organizations 

across the country. Ask for assistance with 

distribution of posters and fliers. Ask each 

agency what types of services it has available to assist with the search. Addresses and 

phone numbers for the missing children’s 

clearinghouses in the 50 states, the District 

of Columbia, Canada, Puerto Rico, the U.S. 

Virgin Islands, and the Netherlands are listed 

in the Additional Resources section of this 

Guide. Some parents create a Web site to 

gather information on potential leads. Talk 

to your law enforcement agency about this 

and ask for its input regarding how to manage electronic leads. Use only screened and 

trusted volunteers to manage the Web site.

Keep community awareness of your plight 

at a high level. If your child has been missing for several years, ask NCMEC to develop 

an age-progressed picture, then place this 

picture next to the original picture on shirts, 

buttons, and posters. Chapter 4 contains 

sample fliers you can use as models for your 

The media often take special interest in publicizing cases in which political figures are 

involved. You can solicit help from school board members; city commissioners; your state 

Governor, senators, and representatives; and members of the U.S. House and Senate. You 

can also seek out those individuals who can get your child’s poster displayed in the following public places:

n On buses, on subways, and at transfer points.

In parks and other recreational facilities.

At tollbooths and rest areas.

In U.S. post offices.

In state and federal buildings.1

In mailings to constituents.

n

n

n

n

n

Be wary, however, of attempts by well­meaning politicians to involve you in hastily written 

legislative proposals that could in the long run be detrimental to the plight of your child 

and others like him or her. Too often, legislative change comes about as a reaction to an 

incident, not as a well­planned, proactive response to a problem. Therefore, consider carefully the potential repercussions of any legislative proposal before you become involved.

1

 Authorized by Presidential Executive memorandum on January 19, 1996. This program requires federal 

 agencies to receive and post missing children fliers in their buildings. This program is coordinated by NCMEC.

Getting Getting Help From Political Political Figures Figures
10

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

own fliers. Also, if there is new information 

about your child—such as a sighting or an 

interesting lead—make sure that the public 

is kept informed. But before you disclose 

any information, be sure to consult with your 

law enforcement contact so the investigation 

is not compromised.

Keep the media interested and involved. 

Chapter 3 contains ideas for keeping the 

media interested in your story.

Make a list of things that others can do to 

help. As long as you have specific tasks for 

volunteers to perform, they won’t go away.

The Role of Private

Detectives and 

Psychics in the 

Long-Term Search

Private Detectives

If the immediate search is not successful, you 

may be tempted to try almost anything. Some 

parents turn to private detectives to aid in the 

search.

Consider hiring a private detective or investigator only if you are convinced that he or 

she can do something 

better or different than 

what is being done by law 

enforcement. Be certain 

that you are not simply 

wasting money that could 

be spent more productively in another way. If 

you decide to use a private detective, the following tips can help:

n Always ask for and 

check references to 

find out if the investigator is legitimate.

Be wary of people who say they can bring 

your child back immediately for a specific 

n

sum of money. If you run into this situation, report it to law enforcement.

Make sure you are paying a reasonable 

rate. Insist that the investigator itemize 

expenses.

Make sure the detective has experience 

working with law enforcement. Law 

enforcement must be notified immed iately of any leads you receive from a 

private investigator.

Inform your assigned law enforcement 

investigator about your decision to hire 

a private investigator. In most instances, 

this individual will need to talk to law 

enforcement before becoming involved 

in the case.

n

n

n

Psychics

Keep an open mind—and a closed pocketbook—

when considering the use of a psychic. Most 

parents are desperate to try anything, but 

they need to understand that there are very 

few true psychics. Many are fraudulent or, at 

best, misguided individuals who want to help 

so much that they have self-induced visions. 

Hearing their sometimes negative dreams 

and visions can cause undue stress, a loss of 

hope, or an unfounded sense of hope. If you 

are considering turning to a psychic, remember the following tips:

n Ask someone close 

to the family to record 

any psychic leads 

because the information is usually distressing. Give all such leads 

to law enforcement.

If any lead is highly 

specific, such as a particular address, insist 

that law enforcement 

check it out. Follow up 

with law enforcement 

to find out the value of 

the lead.

n

I was in tears as my 

husband kept sending our 

child’s belongings to 

psychics. We still haven’t 

gotten back his stuffed 

animals.

—Patty Wetterling
11

T h e S e a r c h

n Never allow a psychic to go into your child’s 

room unattended or to take items without 

making arrangements for their return.

Regardless of whether some psychics have 

true visions, any purportedly psychic dream 

may be an actual observation by someone 

who is afraid to get involved. That is why 

even psychic leads need to be checked out 

whenever possible.

Overzealous Individuals

Be prepared to encounter a few people who 

are fanatical or obsessive in their behavior or 

in their desire to help. Keep in mind that some 

people may try to use your loss to gain attention for themselves. Protect yourself from 

people who might be delusional or who may 

prey on victims through scams or by offering 

false hopes and expectations. The key is to 

keep your focus and exercise caution.
12

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Key Points

1. The actions of parents and of law enforcement in the first 48 hours are critical to 

the safe recovery of a missing child, but the rawness of emotion can seriously 

hinder the ability of parents to make rational decisions at this crucial time.

2. Your initial role in the search is to provide information to and answer questions 

from investigators and to be at home in the event your child calls or returns.

3. Most of the initial searching of the area where the child is believed to have 

been last will be coordinated by law enforcement—either federal, state, or local, 

depending on the circumstances of the disappearance.

4. An important aspect of law enforcement’s job is to preserve and protect any 

evidence gathered during the search.

5. Keep the name and telephone number of your law enforcement coordinator in 

a safe, convenient place and program it into your cell phone. Keep the lines 

of communication open between you and your search coordinator by asking 

questions, making suggestions, and airing differences of opinion.

6. Bloodhounds are the best choice for use in a search because they have 60 times 

the tracking power of German shepherds, can discriminate among scents, and 

can follow your child’s scent in the air as well as on the ground—which means 

that they may be able to follow your child’s scent even if he or she was carried 

in someone’s arms or in a vehicle.

7. Established groups—rather than individual volunteers—should be recruited for 

the search because they can gather together a large cadre of people very quickly, they have an inner chain of command that makes communication and training easier, and they have an internal screening mechanism that will help ensure 

volunteers’ soundness of character.

8. The volunteer staging area should be located away from your home to protect 

your family from the accompanying traffic and chaos.

9. All volunteer searchers reporting for duty should be required to show their 

 driver’s licenses and to list in a log book their names, addresses, and organizational affiliations. If possible, law enforcement should run background checks 

on volunteers to guard against the involvement of misguided individuals.
13

T h e S e a r c h

Key Points (continued)

10. Not all parents can or will want to be actively involved in the long-term search for 

a child. If you want to stay involved, develop a plan and set up a timetable with 

goals for continuing the search for your child, and set up a schedule of regular visits with your investigator to review the status of your child’s case.

11. Keep the public aware of your plight by publicizing any new information about 

your child—such as a sighting or an interesting lead. Also, if your child has been 

missing for several years, ask NCMEC to develop an age-progressed picture, then 

place this picture next to the original picture on shirts, buttons, and posters.

12. Reread your notebook or journal periodically in case you find a passage that triggers a new idea or reminds you of something you had previously forgotten.

13. Consider hiring a private detective only if you are convinced that he or she can do 

something better than what is being done by law enforcement. Always ask for 

and check references to find out if the investigator is legitimate, make sure the 

detective has experience working with law enforcement, insist that all expenses 

be itemized, and report to law enforcement any offers to bring your child back 

immediately for a specific sum of money.

14. Be extremely cautious before you allow a psychic to become involved in your 

child’s case. Give all psychic leads to law enforcement for thorough investigation.
14

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Checklist: Gathering Evidence 

in the First 48 Hours

One of the most critical aspects in the search for a missing child is the gathering of evidence 

that may hold clues about a child’s disappearance or whereabouts. The mishandling of evidence 

can adversely affect an investigation. Similarly, the collection and preservation of evidence are 

key to finding a missing child. Parents play a vital role in finding a missing child by providing critical information to law enforcement, by protecting evidence in and around the home, and by gathering information about persons or situations that might hold clues. The following are some tips 

on what you should do to help law enforcement conduct a thorough and complete investigation. 

Secure your child’s room. Even though your child may have disappeared from outside the 

home, your child’s room should be searched thoroughly by law enforcement for clues and 

evidence. Don’t clean the child’s room, wash your child’s clothes, or pick up your house. Don’t 

allow well-meaning family members or friends to disturb anything. Even a trash bin or a computer may contain clues that lead to the recovery of the child.

Do not touch or remove anything from your child’s room or from your home that might 

have your child’s fingerprints, DNA, or scent on it. This includes your child’s hairbrush, bed 

linens, worn clothing, pencil with bite marks, diary, or address book. With a good set of fingerprints or a sample of DNA from hair, law enforcement may be able to tell whether your child 

has been in a particular car or house. With good scent material, tracking dogs may be able to 

find your child.

Do not allow anyone else to sleep in your child’s bed, play with his or her toys or computer, or use his or her bedroom for any purpose. Law enforcement dispatch should advise 

you not to disturb any part of the house until a thorough search of the scene has been conducted. Investigators should let you know when their search is complete.

Be prepared to give investigators all the facts and circumstances related to the disappearance of your child. This includes knowing where your child was last seen, where your 

child normally went to play, what your child was wearing, and what personal possessions your 

child had with him or her.

Describe in detail the clothing your child was wearing and any personal items in the 

child’s possession at the time of the disappearance. Specify color, brand, and size. If possible, have someone obtain replicas of clothing, hats, purses, backpacks, or other items your 

child had or wore at the time of the disappearance. Give these articles to law enforcement for 

them to release to the media and to show to searchers. Make sure you mark these items as 

duplicates or replicas.

Make a list of personal identification marks and specific personality traits. Describe birthmarks, scars, tattoos, missing teeth, eyeglasses, contacts, speech patterns, and behavioral 

traits. If possible, find photographs that show these unique features. If you have fingerprints of 

your child or a DNA blood sample, also give these to law enforcement.

Gather together personal items, such as baby teeth, old baseball caps, or old toothbrushes. These items may contain hair or blood samples that may be useful as DNA evidence. 

Also look for pencils or toys that contain impressions of your child’s teeth.

Think about your child’s behavior and routine. Be prepared to discuss where your child 

played or hung out, what was the usual route taken to and from school, and what other paths 

of travel might have been taken. Be specific about what your child did for recreation, including playing outdoors, surfing the Internet, video games, sports, and other activities. Ask your 

child’s teacher about new friends or changes in behavior.

14

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e
15

T h e M e d i a

Try to remember any changes in your child’s routine or any new experiences. Look at personal and family calendars to see if they contain clues as to your child’s whereabouts or the identity of the abductor. For example, during the past year, did your child join a soccer team, change 

teams, or get a new coach? Did your child start playing or hanging out in a different area? Did 

your child keep a diary that might hold clues?

Try to remember if your child mentioned any new friends, including those on Internet 

social networking sites. Talk with your child’s friends and teachers to see if they know of any 

new friends or other contacts your child recently made.

Find recent photographs of your child in both color and black and white, then have someone make multiple copies of the photographs and keep the originals in a safe place. Check 

your cameras for undeveloped film because the most recent photos of your child may be found 

there. Ask family members and friends to do the same. Give law enforcement multiple photos 

showing different poses. Steer away from formal or posed photos that do not look like your child. 

Being careful not to damage the photo, mark the back of each picture with your child’s name, 

address, date of birth, and age when the picture was taken.

Find videotapes or movies of your child and make copies. Also ask family members and 

friends if they have videotapes or movies of your child, perhaps at birthday parties, soccer games, 

and so forth. Give law enforcement copies that show your child’s expressions and mannerisms.

Make a list of family members, friends, acquaintances, coaches, teachers, and other school 

staff. Write down as many telephone numbers and addresses as you can. Offer information for 

prior in-laws and relatives as well. Include on your list anyone you feel might have something 

against you or your family or anyone who may have a special interest in your child.

Make a list of everyone who routinely comes to your home. Your list should include postal 

workers, meter readers, garbage collectors, repair persons, salespeople, pizza delivery persons, 

and so forth.

Make a list of new, different, or unusual people or circumstances in and around your home 

or school within the past year. Think about if you or any of your neighbors had any home 

remodeling or house repairs done within the past year. Were any houses listed for sale in your 

neighborhood in the past year? Has there been any road construction or building in the area? Have 

any traveling carnivals passed through the area?

Ask your child’s doctor and dentist for copies of the child’s medical and dental records 

and x rays. Give copies of all medical and dental records to law enforcement for use in the 

 investigation.

15

T h e S e a r c h
16

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Notes
17

Law Enforcement

To give your child the best chance of being found, you and law 

enforcement must treat one another as partners.

—Don Ryce

Few parents have had experience working 

with law enforcement agencies. Perhaps you 

have had contact previously with law enforcement as a result of a traffic ticket or an accident. If so, you probably saw law enforcement 

as the enforcer of rules that had been broken—

not as a lifeline.

But when your child is missing, you and law 

enforcement become partners pursuing a 

common goal—finding your lost or abducted 

child. As partners, you need to establish a 

relationship that is based on mutual respect, 

trust, and honesty. As partners, however, 

you do not have to agree on every detail. This 

chapter provides insight into the relationship 

you are entering into with law enforcement—

what you can expect from the investigation, 

what types of questions you are likely to be 

asked, and what situations you and your family are likely to encounter in the process.

Your Partnership 

With Law 

Enforcement

Most people do not believe that they will 

be victims of crime—or that their children 

will be victimized. But if 

a young member of your 

family becomes a victim, 

you will likely wonder 

what law enforcement 

expects of you and what 

you can expect of law 

enforcement. Understanding these expectations will 

deepen your knowledge 

of law enforcement’s role, 

establish a sound basis 

for your relationship with the agencies and 

organizations that are there to help, and assist 

you in handling this all-too-sudden change in 

 circumstances.

Make sure law enforcement understands 

that your child is in danger and that his 

or her absence is likely to be involuntary.

If your child is 10 years old or younger, it will 

not be hard to show that your child is in danger. However, if your child is older than 10, it 

is important to let law enforcement know that 

your child’s absence is not normal behavior 

and that you would be surprised if your child 

had disappeared voluntarily.

Ask your law enforcement agency if it 

uses the AMBER Alert Plan (America‘s 

Missing: Broadcast Emergency Response).

The AMBER Alert Plan is a voluntary partnership between law enforcement agencies and 

broadcasters to activate an urgent bulletin 

in the most serious child abduction cases 

(see page 4 for more information on the 

AMBER Alert Plan).

Check to see if any money, clothing (other 

than what your child was wearing), or 

other personal items are missing. If nothing 

else is missing, be sure law enforcement is 

aware of this.

Let law enforcement 

know how your child 

is doing in school 

and if your child has 

quarreled recently 

with you or a friend.

If you can establish 

that there is nothing 

to indicate that your 

child ran away, it will 

CHAPTER 2

When asked if it bothered 

me to take a lie detector 

test, I told the reporter, 

“They can electrocute me if 

it will bring my son back.”

—Claudine Ryce
18

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

expedite law enforcement’s classification of 

your child as abducted or endangered.

Be honest, complete, and forthcoming 

in your statements and answers to law 

enforcement. Fully disclose all recent activities of and conversations with your child. 

What may seem insignificant to you may 

be important to an investigator.

Be prepared for hard, repetitious questions 

from investigators. As difficult as it may be, 

try not to respond in a hostile manner to questions that seem personal or offensive. The 

fact is that investigators must ask difficult and 

sensitive questions if they are to do their jobs 

effectively.

Don’t feel guilty about relaying suspicions 

concerning someone you know. It is not 

often that a total stranger takes a child. You 

may not want to believe that it is someone 

that you know, but keep an open mind and 

consider all the possibilities. Above all else, 

trust your feelings, instincts, and gut reactions and share them with law enforcement 

so they can be checked out.

Do everything possible to get you and your 

family removed from the suspect list. As 

painful as it may be, accept the fact that a 

large number of children are harmed by members of their own families, and therefore you 

and your family will be considered suspects 

until you are cleared. To help law enforcement move on to other suspects, volunteer 

early to take a polygraph test. Insist that both 

parents be tested at the same time by different interviewers, or one after another. This 

will help to deflect media speculation that one 

of you was involved in the disappearance.

Insist that everyone close to your child be 

interviewed. Encourage everyone—including 

family members, friends, your child’s boyfriend or girlfriend, neighbors, teachers, and 

coaches—to cooperate in the investigatory 

process. Although polygraph testing is voluntary, refusal to take a polygraph can cause 

law enforcement to spend time trying to 

eliminate an individual from the suspect list 

through other means and, as a result, take 

valuable time away from finding the real 

 suspect.

Leave the interviewing of your other 

children to law enforcement. Do not question your children yourself. Especially with 

younger children, insist that a law enforcement officer who is trained to interview 

children conduct the questioning. Many law 

enforcement agencies have a child abuse 

unit with officers who are specially trained to 

work with children.

You can also ask to have a child advocate 

sit in on the interview with your child. Child 

advocates are specially trained volunteers 

who provide assistance and support to children involved in the legal process. Child 

advocates are normally housed in the district attorney’s office, the court, or the law 

enforcement agency. Ask law enforcement 

for information about your local child advocate 

office. If your child is very young, you may 

be asked to sit in on the interview. Don’t be 

alarmed, however, if law enforcement prefers 

to interview your children alone.

Be prepared for constant law enforcement 

presence in your home. For the protection 

of you and your family, an officer may be 

assigned to your home on a 24-hour basis. 

Although this presence may feel intrusive, 

welcome the officer, and recognize that this 

person is there to answer calls and take 

leads, protect you and other members of your 

family from potential harm, and provide support. If your law enforcement agency is small, 

however, it may not have the resources to 

place an officer in your home 24 hours a day. 

In those circumstances, it is still reasonable 

for you to ask for added law enforcement protection in your home.

Talk regularly with your primary law 

enforcement contact. The officer who 

responded initially to your call for help may 
19

L a w E n f o r c e m e n t

not be your permanent family contact. If 

there is a good chance that your child has 

run away, for example, your primary law 

enforcement contact may work in the missing persons unit. If it is suspected that force 

was used to abduct 

your child, your case 

may be handled by a 

detective from homicide. This does not 

mean that your child 

is dead; homicide is 

typically where investigators are located. 

Find out who your 

primary law enforcement contact is and 

get his or her phone, 

cell phone, e-mail, 

and pager information. Make sure that you find out the name of 

the backup person to call when your primary 

law enforcement contact is not available.

Pick a time of day for your contact to call 

you with information. But realize that there 

will be days when your investigator has nothing to report. Also, designate one person to 

serve as the primary law enforcement contact 

for the family. If your investigator is bombarded with telephone calls from family members and friends, valuable time will be taken 

away from the investigation.

Make sure investigators know that you 

expect to hear about significant developments in the case from them, not from 

the media. The flip side of this is that you 

must honor law enforcement’s request not 

to disclose some pieces of information to 

the media. Understand, however, that law 

enforcement may not be able to tell you 

everything about the case because full disclosure might jeopardize the investigation.

Satisfy yourself that law enforcement 

is handling your child’s case properly. All 

of the agencies involved in the investigation 

should be cooperating with one another in 

pursuit of one goal—finding your missing 

child and getting the 

predator off the street. 

The checklist Working 

With Law Enforcement 

lists the most important 

steps that law enforcement can take to find 

your missing child. The 

more you understand 

the investigatory process, the better able 

you will be to ask questions about it.

However, you should 

be aware that most law enforcement officers 

do not have firsthand experience working on 

a missing child case. If your primary contact 

cannot answer a question, find out who can. 

Also, if you feel that your child’s disappearance has been classified inappropriately, 

ask to speak to the officer’s supervisor or to 

someone else who may have more experience in these types of cases. Don’t take no for 

an answer if you feel strongly that something 

else needs to be done.

Finally, learn about the services that are available from NCMEC, from your state missing 

children’s clearinghouse, and from the television show America’s Most Wanted. See the 

Additional Resources section at the end of 

this Guide for addresses, phone numbers, 

and brief descriptions of some of the services 

that are available to you.

It’s okay if you can’t tell 

me anything—just don’t lie 

to me.

—Pat Sessions
20

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Key Points

 1. You and law enforcement are partners in pursuit of a common goal—finding 
21

L a w E n f o r c e m e n t

Checklist: Working With 

Law Enforcement

The following checklist describes the most important steps that law enforcement can take as 

the investigation begins. Use this information to deepen your understanding of the investigatory process. Discuss these steps with your assigned law enforcement investigator, keeping in 

mind that the order of the steps is likely to vary, depending upon individual circumstances.

A BOLO (Be On the Look Out) bulletin can be broadcast to local law enforcement agencies to 

alert them to your missing child, and a teletype can be sent locally or regionally.

Ask your law enforcement agency if it uses the AMBER Alert Plan (America‘s Missing: Broadcast Emergency Response). Through AMBER Alert, law enforcement agencies and broadcasters activate an urgent bulletin in the most serious child abduction cases (see page 4 for more 

information on the AMBER Alert Plan).

Your law enforcement agency is required by federal law to immediately enter your child’s name 

into the National Crime Information Center (NCIC) registry of missing persons. There is no waiting period for entry into NCIC. If your law enforcement agency has any questions about compliance with this requirement, contact NCMEC.

NCMEC may be asked to deploy Team Adam at the request of law enforcement. NCMEC sends 

trained, retired law enforcement officers to the site of child abductions involving potential harm to 

the child and involves these officers in cases of child sexual exploi tation. These “rapid-response” 

specialists, who work in full cooperation with federal, state, and local law enforcement agencies, 

advise and assist local investigators, provide access to NCMEC’s extensive resources, and assist 

the victim’s family and the media, as appropriate. These services are cost free.

Your local FBI Field Office may be notified in case additional services and support are needed. 

Your state missing children’s clearinghouse will be notified and additional services may be 

requested.

The crime scene—the location outside your home where your child might have been 

abducted—and your child’s bedroom will be secured. The officers who respond initially to 

your call will evaluate the contents and appearance of your child’s bedroom and will secure 

your child’s used bedding, clothing, and shoes and place them in clean bags to be used as 

scent articles. Your child’s toothbrush, hairbrush, and other items that might contain DNA 

evidence will be stored in a safe place, and footprints in dust, mud, or snow will be protected 

to preserve the scent. You may be asked if personal items are missing, and the last persons 

known to have seen your child will be interviewed.

Tracking or trailing dogs or a helicopter equipped with an infrared or a heat-sensitive device (to 

detect heat emitted from the body) may be requested after your residence, yard, and surrounding areas have been searched unsuccessfully.

Airlines, airports, bus and taxicab companies, subways, ferries, and ports may be advised of 

the disappearance and given posters of your missing child.

Investigators may revisit various “hot spots” or checkpoints either at the same time of day or 

the same day of the week following the disappearance to see if they can find anyone who has 

seen something or who recalls something unusual at the time your child disappeared.

Your neighborhood watch should be contacted to see if anything suspicious was noticed.

The daily log of parking and traffic tickets and traffic stops will be checked to see if anything 

relates to your child’s disappearance.

The convicted sex offender registry will be checked to find out if a potential suspect was in 

the area.
22

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Local newspapers should be collected and reviewed to provide possible clues or leads for the 

search. Local or regional events and activities—such as carnivals, county fairs, festivals, sports 

events, and music concerts—and want ads for hired help may produce names or clues regarding either the predator or a witness to the disappearance.

A procedure for handling extortion attempts should be established.

Neighboring jurisdictions should be contacted to find out if incidents of a similar nature have 

occurred there also.

Use all available resources to aid with the search. Veterans’ organizations, local reserve units, 

scouts, and others may be able to help in this process.

Law enforcement will need your child’s cell phone information, including phone number and 

service provider. They will also need any computer usage information that you (the parent) may 

have, such as social networking sites, passwords, text messages, blogs, Twitter posts, lists of 

friends, etc. Law enforcement will also need information about credit card availability and your 

child’s bank accounts.
23

L a w E n f o r c e m e n t

Notes

25

The Media

One shot on the evening news is worth 20,000 posters.

—Patrick Sessions

The media can be important allies in the search 

for your missing child. But media interest in 

your case may be either intense or lukewarm, 

depending on the circumstances surrounding the disappearance of your child and the 

media’s judgment of what is newsworthy.

If you are subjected to intensive media coverage, welcome the attention, even though it 

may feel uncomfortable, because it is the 

fastest and most important way to distribute 

information about and pictures of your child. 

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by 

the amount of attention, ask law enforcement 

to help you deal with the sudden barrage of 

re porters and requests for interviews. However, if the media do not take an interest in 

your case, there are a number of things you 

can do to get the media involved. This chapter offers suggestions for generating, maintaining, and managing media involvement.

Media 

Involvement: 

The First 48 Hours

During the first 48 hours, you need to do as 

much as you can to generate media interest in the 

search for your child. The 

following tips can help.

Contact the media 

immediately. Media 

publicity is the best way 

to generate leads from 

the public concerning 

your child. In most cases, 

the media should be 

contacted immediately 

because time is not on your child’s side. You 

can ask law enforcement to make the initial 

calls to media outlets, but if this is not done 

within the first hour, call and give the information to the assignment editors yourself. 

Intense, early media coverage ensures that 

people will be looking for your child. Sometimes the coverage is so intense it causes an 

abductor to let the child go.

Ask radio and television stations to run 

short clips about the disappearance or to 

break into their regular programming with 

information, as is done with a weather 

warning or other emergency broadcast.

Don’t wait until the evening news to have 

information disseminated about your child. 

Time is of the essence.

Although television coverage is crucial in 

getting out pictures and stories of your 

child, don’t ignore other types of media.

Print and radio media reach tens of thousands 

of homes each day, and they may be more 

generous in their treatment of your story. 

Many people are likely to hear about your 

child’s disappearance first on their car radios. 

Supplement those broadcasts with stories 

and pictures of your child in the earliest possible edition of your local newspaper.

Law enforcement may 

need to be convinced 

that the media are 

important allies in a 

missing child case. 

Sometimes law enforcement is reluctant to 

get the media involved 

in an active criminal 

investigation. If your 

law enforcement agency 

is reluctant, you will have 

to work closely with your 

primary contact. Point out that swift use of 

the media has led to the successful recovery 

CHAPTER 3

The media are your best 

friends. Use them, don’t 

let them use you.

—Claudine Ryce
26

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

of more than one missing child and that your 

child’s safety and recovery are more important 

than building a case against a suspect. Emphasize that you are going to be around for interrogation as weeks pass, but your child’s life is 

in imminent jeopardy. Ask if certain information should not be released because it might 

jeopardize the case or the safety of your child 

and honor that request. As a last resort, ask 

NCMEC, your state missing children’s clearinghouse, and missing children’s organizations to 

assist in the event that your law enforcement 

agency does not want to involve the media.

Prepare a media package and give it to all 

representatives of the media. The media 

package should include basic information 

about your child, including:

n A complete description of your child and of 

the clothing he or she was wearing at the 

time of the disappearance.

n A description of the place where your child 

was last seen.

Current black-and-white, digitized, and 

color photos.

A phone number for people to call with 

possible leads.

Details of the reward, if one is being 

offered.

Other pertinent information that could help 

in the recovery of your child, such as a 

suspicious vehicle near the location where 

your child was last seen.

Information about any Web sites that are 

being used to aid in the recovery of your 

child.

n

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n

n

n

A media package will ensure that all reporters 

start with the same information and will re duce 

the amount of time you spend answering 

Setting Setting Ground Ground Rules Rules

In the very beginning, media interest is likely to be both intense and intimidating. Therefore, 

it’s important for you to establish ground rules as to where and how often you or your 

spokesperson will meet with the media. The following tips can help.

n Schedule specific times and locations so reporters know when and where they 

will be able to ask questions and obtain information. Remember that you control 

the situation—the media do not control you.

Choose a location that is convenient for you but that allows the media the space they 

need to cover the story. For example, you may feel most comfortable holding interviews 

either outside your house or inside one room. That way, you can allow the media to 

glimpse your child’s personal life without letting them become too invasive.

Don’t open up your home to the media without restrictions or limitations. If you do, you 

will lose all privacy, and the presence of reporters could interfere with officers working at the scene.

Don’t feel that you are personally obligated to provide all interviews or to participate 

in all media events. Ask law enforcement, your family spokesperson, and other family 

members to help.

Remember that you have the ability to set limits in terms of timing, scheduling, and 

making rules concerning the use of pictures of your other children. Be sure that the 

media are aware of your rules and that you expect them to be followed.

If a press conference is scheduled, stick to the message that you want to deliver. You 

don’t have to answer every question. Repeat what you want people to hear no matter 

what questions are asked.

n

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27

T h e M e d i a

basic questions. When you prepare a media 

package, make enough copies to distribute, 

then keep the original in a safe place in case 

you need it again in the future.

Select someone to function as a media 

spokesperson if you feel you are not able 

to speak alone. Audiences identify with the 

fear and anguish parents feel when their child 

is missing. Seeing your face and hearing your 

voice will motivate viewers to look closer at 

the picture of your child and to search harder 

for him or her. Therefore, it is best if you 

can speak on your child’s behalf. However, 

don’t feel you need to be a great speaker. 

Just talk from your heart 

and let people know you 

love your child and need 

their help in finding and 

bringing your child home. 

Bolster your confidence 

by having someone you 

know stand beside you 

to provide support and 

step in if necessary. On 

the other hand, if you or 

your spouse feel unable 

to deal with the media, 

choose someone you trust to speak for you, 

and try to stand beside your spokesperson 

during the interview. The checklist Conducting Interviews With the Media gives more 

specific tips on interviews with both print and 

broadcast journalists.

Schedule press conferences and interviews 

around media deadlines. The media operate on deadlines. If you schedule a press 

conference either too early or too late in the 

day, reporters will find it difficult to finish their 

pieces in time to meet their daily deadlines. 

Consult with reporters to find out when and 

how often they would like to meet with you. 

Many parents have found 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. 

to be good times because they give reporters 

enough time to prepare stories for both the 

noon and evening news and because many 

reporters have openings in their schedule at 

these times. Try not to turn down interviews.

Do not schedule draining interviews or 

speeches back to back. Realize that you 

have limited mental and physical resources 

and that if you are not fresh, you will not be 

effective. If you have an opportunity to appear 

on a popular radio or television show or on 

a national network, give this engagement 

priority over others. However, remember that 

local television and radio stations will be in 

your community after the networks leave, so 

work to develop a long-term relationship with 

them. Sometimes you can ask local stations 

to rerun portions of an interview you did with 

the national affiliate.

Avoid scheduling 

press conferences that 

conflict with an important event. If you want 

to make an important 

announcement, such 

as a reward offer, make 

sure you aren’t competing with another scheduled event. Find out 

what events are listed 

in the day book—often 

kept by Associated 

Press—which is used by local media to keep 

track of newsworthy occurrences. Set your 

press conference for a time when nothing else 

significant is happening.

Ask NCMEC or law enforcement to contact America’s Most Wanted on your 

behalf. The staff of this television program, 

which broadcasts nationally, have a special 

interest in helping to recover abducted children. America’s Most Wanted can be reached 

by calling 800–CRIMETV (800–274–6388).

Be aware of your public status. Although 

this is not the kind of fame you want, you 

may attain some sort of “celebrity” standing because of your continuous involvement 

with the media. This sudden public status can 

be very intrusive. People will recognize and 

approach you wherever you go. The media 

may turn up at any time and any place, asking 

for information. You may be filmed any time 

Stay calm, collected, 

and focused. Prepare your 

thoughts and ideas before 

you get into an interview.

—Don Ryce
28

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

you are in a public place—and even through the 

windows of your own home, if the photographer 

uses a powerful lens. Therefore, for your child’s 

sake, conduct yourself as if all eyes were upon 

you. Realize that you no longer have the same 

privacy you once had. Try not to be paranoid, 

but be careful. Don’t do things that might cast 

you in a negative light, but don’t feel guilty if 

you go out to dinner or to the movies to relieve 

the stress as the days and weeks pass.

Review all media 

stories, comments, 

and tapes. Parents, 

family members, 

and friends should 

review all media spots 

and events in case 

they contain clues or 

pieces of information 

that could help you at 

a later date. For example, comments by 

particular individuals, 

multiple appearances 

by one individual, or 

knowledge of personal or confidential 

information not previously revealed may 

help to pinpoint either the perpetrator or persons close to the perpetrator.

If your child is returned, don’t let him or 

her review any tapes of the suspect. This 

may jeopardize identification of the suspect 

by your child when a lineup is scheduled by 

law enforcement.

Media 

Involvement: 

After the First 

48 Hours

At first, you may feel overwhelmed by the 

intense media interest generated by your 

child’s disappearance. After a week or so, 

however, if your child has not been found, 

you may run into the opposite problem. 

If media interest dies down, you will have to 

work to keep the story going. Here are some 

things you can do to keep your child’s story 

in the public eye.

Devise “media hooks” to keep your child’s 

story in front of the public. Schedule a 

press conference on an important day, such 

as National Missing Children’s Day (May 25), 

or prepare a press release to coincide with 

federal or state legislation relating to missing, 

exploited, or victimized 

children. Remember, you 

don’t know how long you 

will have to search for 

your child, so you need 

to plan for the long term. 

Ask a family member or 

friend to help if you find 

the task too difficult.

Give the story a new 

slant. To give the story 

a new look, you may want 

to change the tone of 

your interviews. Try bringing in someone new to 

discuss the case, such as 

a politician, sports personality, popular entertainer, 

or someone close to the 

investigation.

Pace yourself. Parcel out new developments 

in the case in separate announcements to 

spread coverage over a longer period of time. 

Ask law enforcement to notify the press of significant developments, such as important leads 

or items found during the physical search.

Keep the story alive by tying it to a variety 

of events and activities. You can hold a candlelight vigil, announce a reward, or show how 

celebrations such as a birthday, holiday, or graduation are different without your child. You can 

tie your child’s story to something that will 

be broadcast repeatedly, such as a popular 

song on the radio. Then, every time the song 

plays, it will be a reminder that your child is 

still missing. If you can create a way for the 

media to present your child’s story in a different way, it is more likely to be run. Remember that media attention increases when you 

Once a reporter made 

some incredibly insensitive comments about our 

missing child in front of his 

siblings. We resolved their 

hurt and anger by talking 

the situation over in a family meeting and deciding 

how to deal with such questions in the future.

—Patty Wetterling
29

T h e M e d i a

Victim’s Victim’s Bill of Rights

Appearing on air, whether television or radio, is a new experience for most people. The anxiety 

produced by this new experience, combined with the trauma of the initial victimization and the 

retelling of it, underscores the need for parent victims to maintain control over the situation. The 

following guidelines were written by the National Center for Victims of Crime to minimize the 

possibility of a second victimization inflicted by the mishandling of a story by the media.

n You have the right to say no to an interview.

You have the right to select the spokesperson or advocate of your choice.

You have the right to select the time and location for media interviews.

You have the right to request a specific reporter.

You have the right to refuse an interview with a specific reporter even though you have 

granted interviews to other reporters.

You have the right to say no to an interview even though you have previously granted 

 interviews.

You have the right to release a written statement through a spokesperson in lieu of an 

 interview.

You have the right to exclude children from interviews.

You have the right to refrain from answering any questions that make you uncomfortable or 

that seem inappropriate.

You have the right to know in advance what direction the story about your victimization is 

going to take.

You have the right to ask for review of your quotations in a storyline prior to publication.

You have the right to avoid a press conference atmosphere and to speak to only one reporter 

at a time.

You have the right to demand a retraction when inaccurate information is reported.

You have the right to ask that offensive photographs or visuals be omitted from airing or 

 publication.

You have the right to conduct a television interview using a silhouette or a newspaper 

 interview without having your photograph taken.

You have the right to completely give your side of the story related to your victimization.

You have the right to refrain from answering reporters’ questions during trial.

You have the right to file a formal complaint against a reporter.

You have the right to grieve in privacy.

You have the right to suggest training for the media on how they can prevent additional 

traumatization for victims.

You have the right to be treated with dignity and respect by the media at all times.

n

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Reprinted with permission from the National Center for Victims of Crime, 2000 M Street NW., Suite 480, Washington, 

DC 20036, www.ncvc.org.
30

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

hold special events and when anniversaries 

come up. Also, remember to coordinate all 

events and activities with law enforcement 

because they can be an important part of the 

overall investigative strategy.

Develop rapport with someone in radio, 

television, and print. If a reporter or editor 

takes a special interest in your story, that 

person can help you devise ways to get your 

child’s story back in the spotlight. Keep a list 

of names, telephone and fax numbers, e-mail 

addresses, and personal and professional 

interests. Although reporters often change 

stations, newspapers, and cities, remember 

that they can take a story with them wherever they go.

Identify the assignment editors for each 

news organization, and send your press 

releases to their attention. Assignment editors are the ones who decide which events to 

cover and whom to assign as reporters. If you 

plan an event, let the news organization know 

what is happening by e-mailing or faxing a 

news release. Give the facts of the case, 

along with a news “slant.”

Consider granting exclusive interviews. In 

the beginning, you probably will not want to 

grant an exclusive interview because interest 

will be high and you will want the broadest 

coverage possible. Also, granting an exclusive interview to one news organization over 

another may offend the one that you leave 

out. Later, however, an exclusive interview 

may be appropriate, such as to one station 

that has developed a story independently or 

to a national media group such as ABC, CBS, 

CNN, FOX, or NBC. In some cases, an exclusive interview may be the only way to get a 

particular aspect of your story out.

Use the media to appeal for special help.

The media can be a very effective tool in asking for help. If you need volunteers, training, 

printing, or equipment that is prohibitively 

expensive or not readily available, ask the 

media to broadcast your request. Give a wish 

list to local radio stations because they in 

particular are often willing to publicize such 

appeals as a public service or interest report. 

Not only can this provide you with the help 

you need, but it can be yet another hook to 

remind the public to keep looking for your 

child.

If possible, obtain the help of a media 

expert. Sometimes professionals working in 

the field of public relations donate their services 

to parents. Because these professionals are 

very savvy in their dealings with the media, 

they can be a tremendous help.
31

T h e M e d i a

Public Awareness Awareness Events

Media attention generates leads and keeps your story in front of the public. The following ideas 

are also excellent ways to involve volunteers in the search campaign.

n Appear on radio and television programs to discuss your child’s disappearance.

Hold a press conference or other media event on your child’s birthday or on the anniversary 

of the disappearance.

Prepare press releases or make personal statements about the disappearance of a child in 

another community.

Prepare press releases relating to federal, state, or local legislation.

Publish a letter to your child in your local newspaper.

Ask radio stations throughout your state to play your child’s favorite song and dedicate it to 

your child.

Hold a rally at your child’s school with music and prayers.

Ask your child’s school to organize a letter writing campaign to politicians, the media, or 

your state legislature.

Organize student marches to distribute fliers or posters.

Develop buttons or T­shirts with your child’s picture and a special message to your child.

Hold a prayer vigil.

Hold a candlelight vigil.

Organize a dance or a benefit auction.

Give a special award to the law enforcement officer who served as your primary law 

enforcement contact.

Ask sports teams in your area to include pictures of your child in their programs and to 

make public service announcements at all games.

Plant a tree or dedicate a garden in your child’s name.

Release helium­filled balloons with your child’s name and other relevant information 

printed on them.

Hold bowling tournaments.

Hold running, dance, or other types of marathons.

Ask local businesses or banks to dedicate a Christmas tree or a display of lights in honor of 

your child.

Many local resources can help raise public awareness. Motorcycle clubs, civic organizations, scouts, and others have been generous in providing support and assistance to families 

of missing children.

n

n

n

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n

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32

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Key Points

 1. The media should be contacted immediately after your child’s disappearance—
33

T h e M e d i a

Checklist: Conducting Interviews 

With the Media

The most successful media interviews happen because of advance planning. If you know 

beforehand what points you want to get across, you are more likely to have a positive experience with the media. The following tips can help.

Articulate the most crucial information in every interview. Before you set up an interview, 

be sure you are ready. Be prepared to discuss information pertinent to the case—but be sure 

that law enforcement has been consulted about what information can be released and what 

should remain confidential. Give essential information consistently to everyone in the media, 

especially the following items:

n Current pictures and videos of your child, in black and white, color, and digitized, if possible.

A description of the clothing your child was wearing and of the items your child had in his 

or her possession, such as a book bag, backpack, or bicycle, along with identifying characteristics and personal traits.

A telephone number for people to call in leads.

n

n

Ask that your child’s picture be included in every interview you grant.

because often the only thing that is clearly known is what your child looks like. Make sure that 

the picture given to the media resembles your child accurately and is suitable for distribution. 

Always hold up a picture of your child during an interview and insist that his or her face be 

shown as part of the story. Ask radio stations to include a description of your child as part of 

their story.

Limit the number of points you want to make and keep them simple. Organize your 

thoughts and ideas, perhaps by writing them down, before you speak to an interviewer. Stay 

as calm and focused as you can. Remember that you will be given a very small amount of air 

time. That means that the more you say, the less control you will have over what portion of an 

interview the media will play.

Try to cover the most important points first and to contain your answers to 10- to 

20-second “sound bites.” Short answers are more likely to be used than long, drawn-out 

answers. Also, if you try to cover too much, you may find that your most important points 

are left out of the story. Remember, you don’t have to answer all of the questions. You can 

repeat your main points over and over again.

Make your child real by sharing stories that show his or her wit, interests, and other 

endearing qualities. If you personalize your plea by showing favorite toys, telling short anecdotes, and airing representative videotapes of your child, people are more apt to listen and 

remember and to feel they have a reason to care about your plight. However, don’t loan any 

original items to the media because you may not get them back. Always label your child’s pictures, videos, and possessions.

Keep control of the story. Be prepared to field difficult questions. Although many reporters 

have families and will empathize with you, their job is to give the public an interesting story. 

Some may appear to be skeptical of you—at least initially—because of well-publicized disappearances in which the parents turned out to be the culprits.

Regardless of the questions asked, keep the story focused on your missing child. If a 

reporter digs a skeleton out of your closet, don’t be afraid to say that a previous event has 

nothing to do with the present disappearance. You may need to point out that members of 

the same family can be totally different in terms of behavior, academic performance, and emotional maturity.

Be patient with reporters because many of them may be young and inexperienced. It is 

difficult for someone who is not yet a parent to imagine what you are going through. If you are 

asked an inappropriate question, don’t answer it—and don’t explain why.

 This is crucial 
34

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Do not lie to the media. If you are caught in a lie, reporters will never trust you again. But 

remember that you don’t have to answer every question. The only reason you are giving an 

interview is to find your child. You don’t have any obligation to help the media carry a story in 

a direction you don’t want it to go. If you believe a question is insensitive or irrelevant, either 

say so and decline to answer or else give the information you want to present regardless of the 

question that was asked. Take control of the situation. Make the points you have to make and 

insist on getting your message across.

Do not disclose information to the media that your law enforcement contact has told you 

to keep confidential. Consult with your law enforcement agency in advance to find out what 

information can be released and what information should remain private. Remember that there 

is no “off the record” comment. If reporters want confidential information, they will try to get it. 

Consider holding joint press conferences with law enforcement as a way to keep information 

flowing to the media yet protect confidential details.

Never publicly criticize law enforcement. Sometimes reporters ask questions intended to 

create controversy over law enforcement’s handling of a case. Resist the temptation to criticize law enforcement, however, even if you are unhappy with something that has been done. 

You want the story to be about your child, not about a controversy with law enforcement. You 

also don’t want to risk alienating the people who are spearheading the effort to find your child. 

Instead, channel any complaints you have through the appropriate law enforcement person 

or office.
35

T h e M e d i a

Notes

37

Photo and Flier Distribution

The more people who know that your child is in danger and what 

your child looks like, the better the chances are that someone will 

recognize your child and report his or her whereabouts.

—Claudine Ryce

Distributing pictures of and information about 

your missing child is an essential part of the 

search and recovery process. During the first 

48 hours, it is critical that recent pictures of 

your child and facts pertinent to the disappearance be given to law enforcement, the 

news media, and nonprofit organizations and 

agencies. Physical traits and personality 

characteristics should also be described as 

specifically as possible. This chapter contains 

important tips about photo and flier distribution and can guide you through both the 

short- and long-term process.

Photo and Flier 

Distribution: The 

First 48 Hours

Search for the most recent pictures. Don’t 

look for pictures in your scrapbook. If you 

have a camera that uses film, see if there 

is undeveloped film in it; if so, take it to be 

developed. Ask family members and friends 

if they have recent pictures or videos of your 

child from a birthday party, holiday celebration, sports event, or school outing. Almost 

always, your child’s school will have a copy of 

the latest school picture or will be able to tell 

you the name and telephone number of the 

school photographer. Even a passport picture, 

school identification card, or driver’s license is 

better than nothing.

Pick out pictures that most resemble your 

child. Remember that posters and fliers will 

show only the head, neck, and top of the 

shoulders. Candid shots are fine, as long as 

the facial image is clear. Several pictures from 

different angles may give people a better idea 

of what your child looks like. When selecting 

photos, keep the purpose in mind—to enable 

people to recognize your child, not admire a 

poster that flatters but does not look like your 

child. For examples of fliers, a sample template, and other items that can be distributed, 

see the collage on pages 38–39.

Videos or home movies are excellent 

choices for airing on television. Videos 

capture your child’s appearance, mannerisms, 

and voice quality. They offer the added advantage of engaging the hearts of viewers, who 

can relate to the image on the screen as a 

live personality. Such viewers are more likely 

to be on the lookout for your child or even to 

volunteer to help in the search effort.

Ask someone to have copies made of the 

pictures and videos you select. Photographs can be scanned and copies made 

quickly at most businesses that make prints 

of photos. Some businesses may give you 

a discount rate if you give them your child’s 

case number showing that you have reported 

your child as missing to the police.

Put all photo originals and negatives in 

a safe place and make copies. Never give 

away your only copy of a picture, unless you 

don’t care if you get it back.

If the picture was taken by a professional 

photographer, you may need to get permission to have the picture reproduced.

Under most circumstances, professional 

photographers will be glad to help by giving 

permission to reproduce a picture once you 

explain your situation. Some may even reproduce the pictures for you free of charge, so 

don’t be afraid to ask. At the same time, if 

possible, have the pictures digitized and store 

CHAPTER 4
38

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Nonfamily Abduction Sample

Name of Child

Child’s Photo Child’s Photo

Different angle

(Date of Photo) (Date of Photo)

Date Missing: Age Now:

Missing From:

Birth: Age Disap:

Sex: Race:

Height: Weight:

Hair: Eyes:

ID Info:

Circum:

Anyone Having Information Should Contact

The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children®

1–800–843–5678

Or

Local Police Department Information

Note: A missing child must be registered with the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children®

before adding the organization’s name and telephone number to this flier.

Source: National Center for Missing & Exploited Children®.
39

P h o t o a n d F l i e r D i s t r i b u t i o n
40

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

them on your computer so they can be used 

to send the picture by e-mail to nonprofit 

organizations across the country that have 

access to the Internet.

Put someone persuasive in charge of photo 

distribution. Ask your photo distribution 

coordinator to keep a log showing who was 

given a picture or videotape, then to follow 

up to make sure that the photographs were 

distributed. In addition to local media outlets, 

local civic and business 

groups, and volunteer 

groups, copies of your 

child’s photograph can 

be sent to local government agencies. Permission can be obtained 

from county commissioners, agency officers, 

or whoever has authority 

to post your child’s fliers 

in buses, at bus and subway stops, in tollbooths, 

at rest stops, and in federal and state parks and 

buildings.1

Get as many individuals and organizations 

as possible to distribute your child’s picture.

Start with your neighbors 

and friends. Then call 

NCMEC, your state missing children’s clearinghouse, and private, nonprofit missing children’s 

organizations in your state and surrounding 

states, eventually blanketing the country. 

Contact AMECO (www.amecoinc.org) for the 

names of nonprofit missing children’s organizations in your region. Ask them to distribute 

your child’s picture through their networks 

and to display it on their Internet site. Make 

use of today’s high-speed communication 

links to distribute your child’s picture throughout the country.

If you are not hooked up to the Internet, 

contact someone who is. The Internet 

allows you to transmit clearer pictures of your 

child more quickly and less expensively than 

you could by fax. First, you must have your 

child’s picture scanned and digitized—that 

is, put on a computer disk. A print or computer shop can provide this service to you. 

Next, call individual organizations to obtain 

their e-mail addresses. Now, you can simultaneously send your child’s digitized photo by 

e-mail to a wide variety 

of organizations. 

Ask your photo distribution coordinator to 

find out where your 

child’s picture has 

been posted. Check the 

Internet sites of NCMEC, 

your state missing children’s clearinghouse, 

local media Web sites, 

and private missing 

children’s organizations 

to find out where your 

child’s picture has been 

distributed. Expand the 

area of distribution to 

cover the entire country during the second 

24-hour period by including the U.S. Customs 

Service, Border Patrol, 

and Coast Guard.

Plug into NCMEC’s photo distribution 

 serv ices. NCMEC posts photos of missing children on its Web site (www.missingkids.com). On 

average, 127,901 visits are made on the site 

each day, and many companies and agencies 

have links to this site. In addition, NCMEC 

can coordinate national media exposure 

through its partnership with major newspapers, magazines, television networks, 

and corporations.

1By Executive memorandum, NCMEC distributes fliers of missing children to federal agencies for posting in their 

buildings.

Private businesses 

throughout our state 

donated large color reward 

posters, labels showing our 

son’s face, a toll-free 

number for people to call 

if they had seen our son, 

mailing envelopes, and 

more than $9,000 in 

postage so we could send 

25 reward posters to every 

U.S. Congressperson and 

every state Governor, with 

a special plea asking them to 

put up posters of our son in 

a heavily trafficked area of 

their home communities.

—Claudine Ryce
41

P h o t o a n d F l i e r D i s t r i b u t i o n

Ask your primary law enforcement contact 

to request that NCMEC send a broadcast 

fax to its network of law enforcement 

agencies. NCMEC has the capability to broadcast fax posters and other case-related information to more than 26,000 law enforcement 

agencies, FBI Field Offices, state missing 

children’s clearinghouses, the Border Patrol, 

and medical examiners’ offices throughout 

the country. NCMEC can send your child’s 

picture to its network of agencies as soon as 

your law enforcement agency or the investigating agency makes a request. NCMEC case 

management personnel are available oncall to 

make emergency posters, broadcast faxes, 

and distribute photographic images in the 

evenings and on weekends.

If your child has been abducted and is in 

danger, ask law enforcement or NCMEC to 

contact America’s Most Wanted on your 

behalf. You need to ask either NCMEC or 

your law enforcement agency to make this 

call. America’s Most Wanted can be reached 

by calling 800–CRIMETV (800–274–6388). 

The program can run a missing children alert, 

which is a public service announcement 

showing your child’s picture.

Photo and Flier 

Distribution: 

After the 

First 48 Hours

After the first 48 hours, draw on your imagination and the ideas of your many contacts 

to keep your child’s picture and story alive 

before the public. Here are some ideas of 

what can be done.

Be creative and aggressive in getting your 

child’s posters put up in heavily trafficked 

areas across the country. Get approval for 

your mail carrier to place fliers in mailboxes. 

Ask utility companies to distribute fliers as 

their meter readers make their routes. Ask 

churches to request that their members 

include your child’s flier in Christmas cards 

and other letters. Ask banks and other groups 

that make regular mailings to include copies of 

your child’s flier. Ask Federal Express, United 

Parcel Service, local pizza companies, and 

other delivery companies to distribute fliers 

on their routes. Ask trucking lines or moving 

companies to post pictures on the backs of 

their trucks. Ask airline pilot and flight attendant unions to request that members post 

fliers in cities where airline personnel lay 

over. Call motorcycle clubs and other groups 

that hold national meetings to see if their 

members will take along fliers for distribution. 

If anyone helping you has difficulty convincing a company to post or distribute your 

child’s picture, you personally should get on 

the phone because it is harder to say no to a 

victim parent. The checklist Distributing Fliers 

contains further tips for flier production and 

distribution.

Prepare a press kit for distribution to national 

news and talk shows and magazines. Ask 

local public relations firms or persons with 

writing ability to help you prepare the kit and to 

secure e-mail and street addresses. Be sure to 

include local and regional radio stations. Your 

law enforcement agency can also give you 

guidance on press kit preparation.

Look for events where volunteers can 

distribute fliers. Have volunteers research 

and make a list of events such as sports 

contests, county fairs, festivals, and concerts 

planned in your community, state, and region. 

Distribute fliers to those events as part of 

your overall canvassing plan.

Send press releases and arrange interviews 

during special or seasonal events. Consider 

celebrating your missing child’s birthday by 

reading aloud cards or special messages 

you hope he or she will hear. Speak at what 

would have been your child’s graduation from 

elementary or middle school. Distribute ageprogressed photos of your child and updated 

case information to refresh people’s memories and renew interest in your child’s plight. 

Enlist the aid of celebrities and politicians 

who can help publicize your child’s case.
42

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Continue to work with NCMEC and its 

photo distribution program. More than 300 

private-sector participants use NCMEC’s print 

photographs, and a number of federal agencies feature NCMEC photos in their buildings. 

Valassis’s “Have You Seen Me?®” program, 

which features the names and faces of missing children, reaches more than 60 million 

households through weekly newspaper distribution and reaches 90 percent of American 

homes via shared mail. NCMEC distributes 

posters of missing children monthly to all 

Wal-Mart stores and Sam’s Clubs across 

the country.

Make your own picture cards to insert in 

mass mailings. Get permission from government agencies, utility companies, and private 

businesses to have your card inserted in 

newspapers and envelopes containing state 

license renewals, tax assessments, local 

utility bills, payroll envelopes, and bank statements. Talk to direct-mail advertising companies to gain access to mass coupon mailings.

Ask national groups for help. Ask law 

enforcement associations, women’s auxiliary 

groups, civic groups such as the Rotary Club 

or Elks and Moose lodges, the Chamber of 

Commerce, military groups or associations 

such as the Veterans of Foreign Wars, and 

 college fraternities to distribute and post your 

child’s poster or flier.

Ask a variety of franchise businesses to 

distribute posters through their normal 

supply lines. Consider especially various fast 

food and gasoline chains. Individuals who 

know who has abducted or who is holding 

your child may frequent liquor stores and 

adult bookstores more often than banks, post 

offices, and schools. Reward posters should 

be posted where people with information are 

most likely to see them.

Consider using publicity gimmicks to 

etch your child’s face in the public’s memory. Have your child’s picture printed on buttons, T-shirts, bumper stickers, stamps, and 

baseball-type cards.

If you do not own a fax machine, look for one you can rent or borrow, or get permission to 

use the fax number or e­mail address of a nearby business or police station. You can use 

this contact information for quick and inexpensive communications with:

n Law enforcement.

The news media.

Missing child agencies.

State missing children’s clearinghouses.

Other individuals and organizations that are willing to help.

n

n

n

n

When a face­to­face meeting cannot take place—or if information needs to be disseminated 

quickly—a fax machine can provide you with an important link to your law enforcement 

agency as you work together to prepare and review press releases, set up interview schedules, or provide lists of the names and telephone numbers of individuals who may hold 

clues to the whereabouts of your child. A fax machine in your home will also enable you 

to call organizations devoted to missing child issues, ask them to fax their intake forms to 

you, and then fill out, sign, and fax back the forms immediately.

A A Word Word About About Fax Fax Machines Machines
43

P h o t o a n d F l i e r D i s t r i b u t i o n

Appear on talk shows on the condition 

that your child’s picture is shown during 

the program. Be sure that the subject of the 

talk show is compatible with the seriousness 

of your child’s situation and that the show’s 

topics and other guests can be verified prior 

to your appearance. Make sure that the storyline 

will help, not harm, you and your child. Steer 

clear of sensational shows that focus on 

serial child murders, child sexual exploitation, 

or other issues that can take the focus away 

from your case.
44

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Key Points

 1. During the first 48 hours, it is critical that recent pictures of your child, descrip-
45

P h o t o a n d F l i e r D i s t r i b u t i o n

Checklist: Distributing Fliers

Effective fliers creatively combine photographs with basic information about your child. The following checklist can help you develop strategies for increasing the visibility of your child’s case 

and generating possible leads about the disappearance.

Ask someone creative to take charge of flier and poster production. Friends, family members, and volunteers can help with this task. Your poster coordinator can ask local printers to 

produce fliers free or at a discount rate. 

Have fliers printed in different sizes for different purposes. Use different sizes for buttons, 

handouts, reward posters, mailings, and labels. Use the samples in this chapter as a guide.

Ask your primary law enforcement contact what telephone number should be published 

on the flier for people to use to call in tips. Because the purpose of fliers is to generate 

leads and tips relevant to your child’s case, it is crucial to include a special phone number for 

readers to call. Often, law enforcement prefers to use a 24-hour hotline staffed by trained 

information takers rather than the local police telephone number, which may revert to voice 

mail or a beeper when no one is in the office. The NCMEC toll-free number can be used only 

after your child has been reported missing to NCMEC. Crime Stoppers and other reputable 

hotlines experienced in taking lead information are other possibilities. If you ask, Crime Stoppers may be willing to give and take reward information. Do not use your own telephone 

number or establish your own 800 number. You need to keep your own phone line free 

for your child or the person holding your child to call.
46

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Notes
47

Volunteers

The many offers of support you receive in the first few days will 

carry you through. When people ask what they can do, try to tell 

them something specific. Tomorrow they may be gone, and you are 

likely to forget who made the offer.

—Pat Sessions

One of the most heartwarming things you 

will experience is a tremendous outpouring 

of caring from family members, friends, and 

strangers. People of all races, nationalities, 

religions, and socioeconomic levels will offer 

you and your family emotional support, food 

and other gifts, and help in the search. In 

fact, volunteers are essential to the search 

process. They can and will play a variety of 

roles in the effort to find your child. This chapter offers suggestions for ways to involve volunteers in the search and ideas for managing 

offers to help.

Making the Best 

Use of Volunteers

To make the best use of volunteers, select 

a volunteer coordinator who is organized, 

efficient, and able to work well with and 

give direction to others. The role of the 

volunteer coordinator is not to handle volunteer activities directly, but rather to delegate 

to others management of specific activities, 

such as bringing food to the family, providing water for the searchers, and coordinating 

distribution of posters and fliers. Choose 

someone who is practical, well organized, 

and skilled in providing leadership.

Keep a running list—or have someone 

keep a list for you—of the things you need 

as they arise. If you keep your list current, 

new volunteers will always have a way to get 

involved, and returning volunteers will know 

where to go to find out what is needed next.

When someone offers to help, write down 

the person’s name, telephone number, 

e-mail address, and type of service preferred. When your child is first missing, it is 

hard to think of what you need now, much 

less what you will need in the future. If you 

have no ready answer for someone who asks 

to help, write down specific information that 

will enable you to contact that person later 

with a particular task.

Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need.

No task is too small or too large. If you need 

something, the best thing you can do for 

yourself is to ask. You will be truly amazed 

by the amount of support you receive. People 

really do want to help.

Tap into the network of resources that 

private clubs, businesses, and agencies 

have available to them. Many local clubs, 

businesses, and agencies can help in a variety of ways—by donating items, distributing 

photographs and fliers, or participating in the 

search. Make a list of what you need, and see 

what each group can provide. Here are some 

of the types of organizations that may be willing to help:

n Rotary clubs and other civic organizations.

Red Cross chapters.

Local posts of Veterans of Foreign Wars.

Local lodges.

Churches and synagogues.

Parent-teacher associations.

n

n

n

n

n

CHAPTER 5
48

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

n Scout troops.

Internet advertising agencies.

Retiree organizations.

Labor unions.

Military installations.

Printers.

Paper suppliers.

Pizza franchises.

Fast food chains.

Liquor store chains.

Airline companies.

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n Taxicab and bus companies.

Trucking companies.

Public and private transportation agencies.

Hospitals.

Colleges and universities.

Political groups.

n

n

n

n

n

Be aware that some volunteers may want 

to become too involved, to get too intimate with the family, or to act beyond 

their designated responsibility. Some individuals seem to enjoy media attention. They 

try to shift the focus of attention away from 

your child and onto themselves. Unfortunately, not all volunteers may have your best 

Volunteers can do many things for you. Let them. In doing so, you allow people to fulfill 

their desire to help, and you relieve yourself of the burden of trying to do everything yourself, which you cannot. The following activities are particularly well suited for volunteers.

n Participate in the physical search.

Canvass area businesses for donations of supplies needed for the search effort or 

for the family’s upkeep.

Design posters or fliers.

Design an electronic Web site and forward leads electronically via the Web site.

Tack up pictures and posters and hand out fliers.

Contact nonprofit organizations, community groups, or other agencies in the community for donations or other assistance in producing or distributing posters.

Keep track of all donated items and write thank-you notes.

Answer the home telephone 24 hours a day and maintain a telephone log.

Prepare meals.

Help with household chores, such as cleaning, doing laundry, watering flowers, mowing the lawn, maintaining the yard, or shoveling the driveway.

Run errands, such as shopping for groceries or going to the pharmacy.

Take care of pets.

Form prayer groups.

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

Suggested Suggested Volunteer Volunteer Activities Activities
49

V o l u n t e e r s

interests in mind but are there for personal 

reasons. Sometimes individuals who victimize 

children are drawn to a search scene. If you 

feel uncomfortable with anyone or anything 

for any reason, inform your volunteer coordinator or law enforcement contact. Also, don’t 

use unknown volunteers to do personal tasks, 

such as washing laundry or helping with carpools. Instead, rely on friends or family members for these jobs.

Using 

Untrained 

Volunteers 

in the 

Search 

Effort

Typically, law enforcement is the coordinating 

force behind the search, 

but volunteers often play 

a major role, especially in 

the immediate search of 

the 3- to 5-mile radius around where your 

child was last seen.

Designate a volunteer search coordinator 

to work with law enforcement. The volunteer search coordinator will need instruction 

from law enforcement to determine:

n How many nonpolice personnel will be 

needed in the search.

What locations or areas are to be

searched and on what schedule.

What training will be provided to 

 volunteers.

How information will be disseminated 

among volunteers.

n

n

n

n What specific instructions will be given to 

volunteers about the process, procedures, 

and parameters of the search.

Even though private individuals, organizations, and businesses may be interested 

in helping with the search, it is usually 

easier to work with an organized group.

Organized groups can quickly mobilize large, 

cohesive groups of searchers and can work 

through an already established chain of 

command that will 

reduce battles for 

leadership and control. 

Groups can choose their 

own team leaders who 

can serve as a bridge 

between the volunteer 

search coordinator and 

the volunteer searchers. 

The volunteer search 

coordinator’s task of 

conveying information to the volunteer 

searchers will be easier 

because the team 

leader can be asked to 

explain to each group 

what needs to be done.

Law enforcement, the volunteer search 

coordinator, and the team leaders should 

work together to make sure that volunteers are doing what they are supposed 

to do. Sometimes, overwrought volunteer 

searchers go beyond their designated roles 

and responsibilities and may unwittingly 

im pose themselves on the missing child’s 

family. The checklist Working With Vol unteer Searchers summarizes the most important points that need to be covered with 

volunteers.

Make sure that a list of the names and 

addresses of all volunteers is kept. You 

will need this list to write thank-you notes, 

and law enforcement may need it during 

the search and investigation.

I was devastated when 

a year later one of our 

volunteers was arrested 

for molesting boys in 

our community.

—Patty Wetterling
50

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Using Trained 

Volunteers in the 

Search 

Effort

Many nonprofit organizations located 

throughout the country are poised to help 

you find your missing 

child. Many organizations are devoted to 

the search for missing 

children. They can help 

distribute your child’s 

poster, coordinate 

volunteer activities, 

locate the nearest 

bloodhounds, or find a 

parent of another missing child to give you 

advice and support. Contact NCMEC to 

find out the names and telephone numbers 

of organizations that meet their requirements for certification or membership or 

visit www.amecoinc.org. NCMEC’s Family 

Advocacy Division provides case-specific 

intervention that enhances the services 

NCMEC offers to children and their parents. 

The division proactively works with families, 

law enforcement, and 

family advocacy agencies to provide technical 

assistance, referrals, 

and crisis intervention 

services. The division supports Team 

H.O.P.E., a support 

network of trained volunteers who have experienced an abduction 

in their own families. 

These volunteers are 

matched with families of 

missing children to offer 

advice, assistance, and 

encouragement. You 

might also want to talk with your primary law 

enforcement contact and with other parents 

of missing children. Be wary of organizations 

that promise they can find your missing child, 

that request payment for these services, or 

that are unknown in this field.

No one completely 

understands your pain, 

but people genuinely care 

and want to help you, so 

try to overlook any behavior or comments that seem 

insensitive.

—Colleen Nick
51

V o l u n t e e r s

Key Points

 1. Volunteers are essential to the search process. They can and will play a variety 
52

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Checklist: Working With 

Volunteer Searchers

Before the physical search for your child begins, your law enforcement agency will review 

important policies and procedures for volunteer searchers. The purpose is to make sure that 

the search is as thorough and effective as possible, that all clues and pieces of evidence are 

safeguarded, and that the safety of volunteers is protected. Some of the topics that will be discussed with the volunteer searchers include the following.

Personal items and other supplies for the search. Based on time of day, climate, and terrain, 

searchers will be asked to bring with them—or they may be provided with—items for personal 

use or for use in the search. These items include water bottles, flashlights, batteries, sunscreen, 

insect repellent, maps, compasses, walkie-talkies, notebooks, and pens.

Reporting procedures. Procedures will be established for searchers to use when they report 

and sign in. The system may be as simple as signing a name or as elaborate as taking a picture 

or video.

Search procedures. Searchers will be given instructions concerning:

n What type of search is being conducted.

What to do if clues or pieces of evidence are found.

What to do if a searcher gets hurt or lost.

Who is responsible for searchers in a particular area and what is the chain of 

command for reporting information.

n

n

n
53

V o l u n t e e r s

Notes

55

Rewards and Donations

A reward for the safe return of your child might be what it takes to 

persuade someone who knows something to speak up.

—Don Ryce

It’s hard to assess the true value of a reward 

in recovering a missing child. The offer of a 

reward might renew media interest in reporting on a missing child, or it might be the thing 

that motivates a person living on the fringe of 

society to call in a lead. Although rewards do 

not always produce the right leads or have the 

anticipated results, the use of a reward may 

be worth considering. This chapter discusses 

some important issues for you to think about 

before setting up a reward. It explains how to 

manage reward or donation funds correctly 

and where to go for help or advice.

Monetary 

Rewards

Regardless of the odds that a reward will 

work, most parents or someone in the community will want to offer one if they possibly 

can in an effort to turn over every stone in the 

search to find the missing child. However, 

many issues need to be considered before an 

informed decision about a reward can be made.

Get expert help. Because of the number of 

legal and technical issues that can arise from 

a reward offer, you need expert advice from 

a knowledgeable attorney, your primary law 

enforcement contact, your banker, and the 

parents of other missing children who have 

successfully established a reward fund. Make 

sure that the people who give you advice 

have firsthand experience managing a reward 

fund.

Be aware that your reward offer can 

be come a legally enforceable contract. If 

you offer a reward, you are agreeing to pay 

a sum of money if a person’s actions lead to 

the requested result. That means that anyone 

who complies with the terms of the offer can 

be legally entitled to claim the reward and can 

sue for its recovery. That’s why you must be 

very careful in how you describe the terms of 

the reward offer. Sloppy language can result 

in serious legal problems. Ask an attorney for 

pro bono legal assistance.

Be prepared to meet resistance from law 

enforcement. Some law enforcement agencies disapprove of reward offers because 

they can result in a torrent of false leads. 

Keep law enforcement informed of any decision you make regarding a reward, as it is 

your decision, and if you sense concern or 

resistance, point out that all it takes is one 

solid lead to recover your child. Also, the 

desire for reward money could motivate an 

abductor to keep a child alive.

Clearly state the purpose of the offer. First 

decide what you want the reward to accomplish, then make sure that this purpose is 

clearly spelled out in the offer. For example, 

it is a good idea to make your child’s safe

return a written condition of the reward. The 

better the description of the reward’s purpose, the less likely it is that you will have to 

argue later over whether someone complied 

with the terms of the offer.

Set a time limit for the reward. One of the 

goals of a reward is to generate immediate 

results in order to get your child back quickly. 

In the beginning, you may want to keep the 

time limit fairly short and tie it to a significant 

event, such as your child’s birthday. The 

drama of such a countdown could generate 

CHAPTER 6
56

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

substantial public interest. Avoid open-ended 

rewards that can result in liability many years 

later. You can always renew the reward for a 

longer period of time.

Be careful in establishing the amount of 

the reward. Don’t offer more money than 

you can afford to pay. Decide on the maximum amount of the reward in the first offer 

and stick to it because if you raise the amount 

later, people may wait for a more lucrative 

offer before calling in a lead.

Check to see if special reward funds 

already exist. Sometimes state and local 

agencies—and even the FBI—have funds 

available to put up as a reward in cases 

in volving predatory abduction. Ask your law 

enforcement contact to help you find out 

about such funds.

Be aware that monetary pledges are not 

as reliable as donations. It is much easier 

to persuade people to 

pledge money toward a 

reward than it is to get 

them to donate cash. 

Therefore, you can in 

theory raise much more 

money through pledges 

than you can through 

donations. The problem 

is that you cannot be 

sure that a pledge will 

be honored when the 

time comes to pay out 

the reward. If you use 

pledges, get the pledge 

in writing, pay attention to the expiration 

date of the pledge, and plan to spend a fair 

amount of time making sure your pledges are 

still legitimate. Pledges are not forever.

Do not use your personal funds to finance 

the reward. As hard as it may be, refrain 

from using your own personal funds for the 

reward. Based on the terms and conditions 

spelled out in the reward offer, you may be 

liable for payment of the reward, and you may 

even be sued. And though you may not realize it in the beginning, you may be faced with 

financial constraints months or years later, 

for example, if you are out of work for an 

extended period of time helping in the search 

for your child.

Monetary 

Donations

Monetary donations can be extremely helpful to families whose lives have been turned 

up side down by the disappearance of a 

child. They can be used to help finance the 

search, fund a reward, or support the family if 

a parent is unable to work during the search 

process. But donations can also present problems if they are not managed properly. For 

this reason, you need 

to be aware of some 

important ac counting 

and accountability issues 

that, if not handled correctly, could result in 

legal and financial ruin.

Make sure that both 

you and your contributors know how the 

money will be used.

Donations can be used 

for many different purposes, depending upon 

your need. Ask that 

donations be earmarked 

for a specific purpose—

such as the reward fund, 

the search fund, or the 

family support fund—and if they are not, ask 

one of your volunteers to call the donor to 

find out to which fund the donation should 

be given. Seek professional help from both 

a lawyer and a banker to help you establish 

separate trusts and accounts and to oversee 

disbursements.

Keep separate bank accounts for each 

fund. If accounts are set up properly, donors 

will feel comfortable that records of the 

A fter the search fund 

for our daughter was established, the rumors began to 

fly about the new vehicles 

and houses we had purchased. We even heard 

about a fabulous vacation 

we supposedly had taken 

with the money from the 

fund.

—Colleen Nick
57

R e w a r d s a n d D o n a t i o n s

money are being kept and that donations 

are being used for the specified purpose. 

Creating a trust fund—or at least establishing 

safeguards, such as requiring dual signatures 

on checks and maintaining accurate records—

is crucial. You must make sure that funds 

earmarked for a specific purpose are, in fact, 

being used for that purpose.

Avoid having direct control over any funds 

received. Parents should not solicit funds 

on their own. Use volunteer groups for this 

purpose instead. Parents also should not have

any signatory control over the funds because 

there have been instances in which someone 

attempted to extort the reward money from 

parents by force. Protect yourself from this 

kind of danger by putting the money, and the 

power to access it, in someone else’s hands.

Designate trusted individuals outside the 

family (such as an attorney or an accountant) to have signature authority over the 

accounts. By removing yourself from the 

control of the funds, you eliminate any unnecessary scrutiny by members of the public or 

the media about the use of the funds. Make 

sure that the individuals selected for this task 

are trustworthy and that they understand their

role and potential liability.

Maintain accurate records that show 

where the donations came from and how 

the money was spent. Make sure that the 

individuals with signature authority maintain 

proper records on all income and expenditures.

A list of donors should be maintained so thankyou letters can be sent, and copies of receipts 

for all expenditures should be kept in case 

questions arise. Ask a banker to help you 

establish proper accounting procedures, or 

ask for pro bono help from an attorney or an 

accountant.

Be honest with the public. Be prepared for 

questions, which may turn into accusations, 

concerning the use of donated funds. Designate one person—who could be you or a 

trusted friend or family member—to answer 

all questions concerning how the funds are 

being spent. Information concerning the number of donations or the amount in the accounts 

should never be released to the media.

Specify what will happen to the reward 

in the event your child is located before 

the money is spent. Sometimes large 

sums of money in a reward fund are left 

unspent. There fore, you need to establish 

written procedures for how the money is 

to be dispensed if it cannot be used for the 

reward. For example, you can specify that 

all donations over a certain amount are to 

be returned, if the donor is traceable, or that 

unused funds are to be don ated to an organization or agency that helped with the search. 

Excess reward fund money should never 

be used for the family’s personal expenses 

because that was not the purpose of the 

fund. Again, talk with an attorney to determine how to handle this situation.
58

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Key Points

 1. Most parents will want to put up a reward in an effort to turn over every stone 
59

R e w a r d s a n d D o n a t i o n s

Checklist: Selecting a Tipline for Leads

Selecting a phone number for people to use to call in leads for the reward requires careful 

thought. Your home and business telephones should be reserved for your personal use. NCMEC 

operates a toll-free telephone line. However, NCMEC staff are prohibited from supplying information about rewards. Moreover, callers with leads have specific needs that must be addressed.

Callers must be able to give anonymous tips. Some people will not call unless they can be 

assured of anonymity. Some tiplines assign a special number to each caller to ensure that a particular caller gets credit for the tip.

Callers must be able to call 24 hours a day. Some people prefer to call after regular business 

hours. The telephone number you list should allow people to call at any hour of the day or night.

Callers must be able to phone long distance without having to pay for the call. Some 

organizations offer an established toll-free telephone number you can use to gather tips or 

other information about your child. Crime Stoppers is one such organization that answers calls 

24 hours a day, provides anonymity to callers, and has a good working relationship with law 

enforcement. Contact your local office of Crime Stoppers to learn more about that organization’s system. Also, your local law enforcement agency and your state missing children’s clearinghouse may be able to provide further guidance.

The person who answers the phone must be able to handle this type of call. Answering a 

telephone tipline requires a special set of skills. People who answer tiplines need to know how 

to keep callers on the line, what questions to ask, and how to write down important information.

Tips must be furnished to law enforcement immediately. Law enforcement is responsible 

for evaluating and following up on all tips—not parents, family members, or friends. For this reason, all tips and lead information should be passed on immediately to law enforcement, including the circumstances surrounding them—how they were made, who received them, at what 

time of day, and so forth.
60

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Notes
61

Personal and Family 

Considerations

I had no rational thoughts, they were all irrational.

—Heather Cox

Hanging on to my sanity for a minute at a time often took all of my 

energy. I could not begin to look several days down the road.

—Colleen Nick

Not knowing where your child is or how he 

or she is being treated is one of the hardest 

things you will have to face. One minute you 

will feel a surge of hope, the next, a depth 

of despair that will threaten your very sanity. 

Life will become an emotional roller coaster 

that won’t really stop until you can hold your 

child in your arms again.

As you enter more deeply into the situation, 

know that you are not alone. Unfortunately, 

other families have had to travel this path 

and have experienced the same emotional 

wringer. Families can and do survive—and 

yours will, too, but it will take all the strength, 

hope, and willpower you can muster.

Regaining Your 

Emotional and 

Physical Strength

Your ability to be strong 

and to help in the 

search for your child 

requires that you attend 

to your own physical 

and emotional needs. 

Although it may be hard 

right now for you to 

maintain your daily routine, it is paramount that 

you do so. The driving 

force behind the search 

effort is you, and therefore you must, for your 

child’s sake, be physically and mentally well 

in order to handle it. The fact is, the nightmare will continue until your child is found, so 

you need to take as many breaks from it as 

you can.

Force yourself to eat and sleep. Your body 

needs food and sleep in order to endure this 

ordeal. Although eating and sleeping may 

seem incredibly difficult, you must try. If eating regular meals feels like too much of a 

drain or if it brings back painful memories of 

your child, change your meal times and locations. If you cannot sleep at night because 

you are nervous, tense, or afraid of nightmares, find a place to relax and nap during 

the day. Just make sure you are doing everything you can to take care of yourself.

Find time for physical exercise. Any type 

of physical activity, even walking the dog, 

can help to ease the stress on your body and 

clear your head. Physical exercise also can 

help you relax at night 

so your body gets the 

sleep it needs.

Create space for yourself. Find a place of 

refuge—away from the 

pressure of the search 

and the investigation—

where you can be alone 

with your thoughts and 

regroup. Even a few 

quiet minutes can significantly relieve stress. It may help to walk in 

the park, visit your church or synagogue, or 

talk to a neighbor. Try to take as much time 

CHAPTER 7

The nightmare is always 

there. A break is essential 

to your sanity.

—Colleen Nick
62

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

as you need and can spare. Remember that 

you are the best judge of what will help you 

to handle the life crisis and that it is okay—

even necessary—to take a break from the 

stress for dinner and a walk.

Find ways to release your emotions. Your 

emotions will be running wild and will seem 

out of control. In these circumstances fear, 

anger, and grief can take over your entire 

existence. Therefore, you need to find a way 

to release your emotions because if you cannot express them, you may find yourself taking it out on others. Talk with someone—a 

friend, a relative, or a 

professional therapist—

who will just listen. Also, 

try to stay busy. You can 

cook, write letters that 

express your feelings 

without mailing them, 

or record your thoughts 

and feelings in a journal.

Keep a journal. Some 

parents find it ex treme ly 

helpful to keep track 

of their thoughts and feelings in a journal. 

Journal entries, which can be written or tape 

recorded, need not be coh erent or intelligent. Their purpose is merely to record your 

thoughts and feelings at any particular time 

and to help you resolve them.

Put your anger and grief to work for you. 

Come up with ideas for the search. For example, you can make a list of all of your child’s 

friends, neighbors, and acquaintances— 

anyone who might hold a clue as to the 

where abouts of your child. You can make a 

list of places your child frequented or even 

occasionally visited—anywhere law enforcement could look for your child. Finally, you can 

think of ways to release your emotions in a 

productive manner.

Stay away from alcohol and harmful medications. Alcoholic beverages, harmful drugs, 

and even prescription medications can prevent 

you from being an effective member of the 

search team and can even induce depression. 

However, if you are having trouble sleeping 

at night or coping during the day, ask your 

physician for help. He or she may prescribe a 

medication that will help you sleep or alleviate 

your depression. Just be sure that you only 

take medications under the supervision of a 

physician because some can be addictive.

Don’t blame yourself. Looking back, you may 

feel that there was something you could have 

done to have prevented your child’s disappearance. You can literally drive yourself crazy asking, What if . . . ? But the fact is, if you did 

not arrange for the disappearance, you should not 

hold yourself responsible 

for not knowing or doing 

something that may seem 

obvious in hindsight. And 

remember, children have 

been abducted out of the 

safety of their own bedroom while their parents 

slept in the room next 

door.

Don’t shoulder the blame of others. Recognize that some people may blame you for the 

disappearance because of their own fears for 

their children. They may imply that if you had 

watched your child more closely, he or she 

would not have disappeared. Blaming you may 

make them feel somewhat safer in the world 

because they hold you—and your supposed 

mistake—responsible for your child’s abduction, rather than the abductor. Also, sometimes one spouse blames the other for the 

disappearance of the child. This is hardly ever 

fair and can critically harm the well-being of 

the entire family. Try to stay out of the blame 

game by being kind to yourself and to one 

another. Understand that sometimes anger 

and blame are irrational and misplaced. Keep 

the lines of communication open among family members. If necessary, seek professional 

counseling or other outside assistance to help 

you handle the situation.

My life ended the day my 

child was taken. At some 

point I had to find a place 

to start over.

—Heather Cox
63

P e r s o n a l a n d F a m i l y C o n s i d e r a t i o n s

Stay united in your fight to find your child. 

Don’t allow the stress of the investigation 

to drive a wedge into your family life. When 

emotions run wild, be careful that you do not 

lash out at or cast blame on others. Instead, 

give each other lots of warm hugs to counteract the stress inherent in the situation. 

Remem ber that everyone deals with crises 

and grief differently, so don’t judge others 

because they do not respond to the disappearance in the same way you do.

Allow the opinions of 

other people to be their 

business, not yours.

Some people need to 

have an opinion as to how 

well you are handling the 

situation and whether 

you should be acting differently. Keep in mind 

that such judgments are 

mere ly the opinions of 

others and that at any 

given moment, you are 

doing the best you possibly can.

Seek peer support for 

yourself and your family. Some parents find 

talking with other parents 

of missing children to 

be extremely beneficial. 

Sometimes it is enough 

to know that you are not 

alone and that someone 

else in the world truly 

understands. Consider 

contacting one of the parent authors of this Guide (listed in the back 

of this book) or a member of Team H.O.P.E. 

(866–305–4673) for personal support (see 

page 79). Call the Child Protection Division 

at the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, U.S. Department of Justice (listed in the Additional Resources section 

of this Guide), to get in touch with any one 

of the parent authors. You can also ask your 

law enforcement contact for a list of victim’s 

advocates and local support groups. Nonprofit 

agencies or your state missing children’s 

clearinghouse can also provide you with the 

names and phone numbers of parents who 

can help.

Seek professional counseling for yourself 

and your family. Nobody should have to live 

through the pain that you are going through. 

Professional counseling can be extremely 

helpful for parents and 

families to assist them in 

coping with their feelings 

of fear, depression, grief, 

isolation, anger, and 

despair. You may think 

that you and your family 

can or should get through 

the crisis alone, but you 

don’t have to. Encourage family members to 

take care of themselves 

by seeking support 

and counseling. If you 

need assistance finding 

or paying for counseling, contact your local 

mental health agency or 

provider or ask another 

family member or friend 

to do this for you. If you 

are uncomfortable with 

professional counseling, 

consider another form 

of support—from your 

clergy, a physician, a lay 

counselor, or a friend.

Seek peace and solace for yourself. Many 

parents find comfort in their faith and use it 

as a powerful incentive to survive. The loneliness of grief diminishes somewhat for people 

who believe that they are not alone. Turning 

to—or returning to—religion can give parents 

the support and encouragement they need at 

this critical juncture in their lives.

My daughter Morgan’s 

brother and sister were 

very young—3 years and 

22 months—when she was 

abducted. Her father and 

I decided to not let them 

watch the news on TV, 

but we kept them informed 

about the search in a way 

that they could understand. 

As a family, we released 

balloons for her at a set 

time every month. That 

let the two children who 

were left feel like they were 

helping in the search for 

their sister.

—Colleen Nick
64

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Mentally 

Preparing for 

the Long Term

As heartless as it may seem, your life and the 

lives of your children must go on. Although 

moving on with your life may seem impossible, you must do it—for the good of yourself 

and your family. You will, of course, find that 

there is no such thing as “normal” life as you 

once knew it. Everything has changed, and 

has changed forever. And whatever the outcome, you will be dealing with this in some 

way for the rest of your life.

Going back to work is not abandonment of 

your child. If you need to return to work, you 

may feel extremely guilty. Try to remember 

that your child must have a home to return to 

and that you are working to provide that home 

for your child. When you return to work, find 

a quiet place where you can go to be alone 

or to cry. Your grief is likely to come unannounced, and you will need a place where 

you can ex press it. If your job requires a lot of 

concentration, which you are not able to give, 

look for another position that does not place 

as many demands on you. The American 

Hospice Foundation publication Grief at Work,

listed in the Recommended Readings and 

Other Resources section of this Guide, has 

additional advice.

Focus on your emotional well-being. To 

keep yourself on a more even keel, continue 

individual and family counseling, and try to stay 

busy. You can immerse yourself in activities 

with your other children or volunteer to help 

in school, church, or the community. Don’t 

isolate yourself. Many parent survivors try to 

help other parents by working through missing 

children’s organizations or by starting a group 

of their own. The books and articles listed 

in the Recommended Readings and Other 

Resources section of this Guide have proven 

to be particularly helpful.

It’s okay to laugh. A laugh can be as cleansing as a good cry. Laughter not only helps 

to release tension and emotion, it helps to 

restore normalcy to life and it can also help 

the siblings of the missing child.

Never stop looking. You will probably want to 

dedicate part of each day to your missing child. 

Use these hours to keep the search going and 

to keep the hope alive. You can set aside time 

to make phone calls, write letters, contact law 

enforcement, or do whatever you think will 

help in the search for your missing child.

Helping Your Other 

Children To Regain 

Their Physical and 

Emotional Strength

Your other children need your physical and 

emotional support now more than ever, but 

you may not be able to satisfy their needs. 

You may have barely enough energy to keep 

yourself going. You may feel that you are 

abandoning your lost child if you are not doing 

something every moment to find him or her. 

These are normal feelings. Consider getting 

additional support for your other children during this time of crisis. Get a copy of What 

About Me? Coping With the Abduction of a 

Brother or Sister. This publication is available 

at www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/217714.pdf. 

Here are some ideas.

Find a safety zone for your children. Find a 

safe place away from your home where your 

other children can be shielded from both the 

search effort and the media. This is especially 

important for young children, who still need 

to play and be themselves. Trusted friends 

and relatives can provide a reasonably normal, 

nurturing life for your children in a relatively 

stress-free environment, so this is a good time 

to let members of the extended family and 

friends assume a large part of the responsibility for their care. Just remember to maintain 

contact with your children—both over the 

phone and with regular visits—and to reassure 

them frequently how much you love them.
65

P e r s o n a l a n d F a m i l y C o n s i d e r a t i o n s

Consider letting your other children participate in the search along with an adult. If it 

seems appropriate, you can allow your older 

children to actively participate in the search 

effort. However, it is important to consider 

their age, desire, and level of maturity and to 

respect their right to say no. If your children 

are young, you will need to decide how much 

information you want revealed and whether 

it is appropriate for them to participate in 

the search effort. In some cases, younger 

children have distributed balloons and fliers. 

If you decide to let your children participate, 

keep a gauge on how well they are handling the situation and be prepared to make 

changes, if necessary. Remember that there 

are both emotional 

and security issues to 

consider when your 

children participate in 

the search effort. Ask 

your law enforcement 

contact for advice.

Think twice about 

letting the media 

interview siblings.

Interviews with 

the media can be 

extremely traumatic 

to the brothers and 

sisters of a missing child. Children are seldom prepared for the extremely personal 

or probing questions asked by insensitive or 

pushy media personnel. Remember that the 

media can and will be persistent, particularly 

given the sudden ascension of your family to 

“celebrity” status. Make sure that you supervise interviews and continue to set boundaries that are in your children’s best interests.

Bring the needs of your other children into 

balance with those of your missing child. 

Focus on the needs of the children who are 

still at home. Remember that they, too, are 

trying to cope with their loss. Talk with your 

children about their feelings of fear, anger, 

hurt, and loss. Make them feel as important 

to you as your missing child. Encourage 

them to re turn to the interests and activities 

they enjoyed before the disappearance—by 

playing with friends, participating in sports, or 

playing music.

Establish different routines to help your 

fam ily cope. Family meetings can be an 

effective way to deal with the changes 

wrought by the disappearance. They offer 

family members a safe, nonjudgmental environment in which to voice feelings of fear, 

anger, and frustration. They also give family 

members an opportunity to keep one another 

informed about the ongoing investigation and 

involved in family decisionmaking.

Celebrate birthdays, holidays, and other 

special events. Young 

children will want to 

celebrate birthdays and 

holidays even when 

a brother or sister is 

missing. Plan ahead 

so you are not caught 

offguard by the intense 

emotional roller coaster 

that can accompany 

such events. You can, 

for example, try changing 

family holiday traditions 

and beginning new ones. 

Instead of throwing a 

big birthday party, you can eat cake and ice 

cream for breakfast and then open presents. 

If you have older children, instead of the traditional Christmas or Hanukkah celebration 

at home, you can go on a trip and celebrate 

there. Remember that your children need 

to have fun and that they want you to celebrate, even if your heart is not ready for it. 

Recognize, however, that you have personal 

limitations as to what you will be able to 

handle and that those limitations need to be 

respected. The secret is to plan ahead.

Allow all members of the family to talk 

about your missing child, about their emotional reactions to the situation, and about 

their loss. Don’t let the absence of your child 

and your deep sense of loss become a taboo 

subject. Instead, let your children know that 

We celebrated Jimmy’s 

life by remembering the 

profound things he had said 

and the mischievous things 

he had done.

—Claudine Ryce
66

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

they can freely express their thoughts and 

feelings to you and that they will be met with 

love and acceptance. Let your children know 

that it is okay for everyone in the family—

including mom and dad—to cry and that you 

can help each other by holding hands, giving 

each other a big hug or kiss, or getting each 

other a glass of water. Remember that even 

if you do not communicate with your children 

about your missing child, other children in the 

neighborhood will.

Don’t be surprised if 

your other children’s 

behavior drastically 

changes. Everyone in 

the family has suffered 

a tremendous shock. In 

these circumstances, 

bedwetting, stomachaches, depression, 

anger, sullenness, 

quietness, and truancy 

are common reactions. 

But by the same token, 

don’t be alarmed if your 

child’s behavior changes 

very little or not at all. 

Children, just as adults, 

react differently to the disappearance of a 

child.

Help your other children return to some 

type of normalcy by returning to school.

Your children need the normalcy that the daily

routine of school provides. But before your 

children go back to school, talk with them 

about what they want others to know. Make 

sure they understand that most people in 

your community already know what has happened. Listen to your child’s thoughts and 

feelings about returning to school. Then, talk 

to your child’s teachers and counselors to 

help them prepare for the return of your child.

Ask the school to bring counselors into the 

classroom both after the disappearance 

and when your child returns to school.

Teachers and classmates of a missing child 

will also experience fear and grief. When 

your other children return to school, they and 

their friends—and the friends of your missing 

child—are bound to feel scared. Ask your law 

en forcement contact if an officer can go to 

the school to teach the children both how to 

recognize dangerous situations and how to 

get away. Ask teachers 

and counselors for their 

help in giving all of the 

hildren the support they 

eed to deal with this 

risis. The American Hosice Foundation publicaon Grief at School, listed 

n the Recommended 

Readings and Other 

Resources section of 

his Guide, has additional 

dvice.

Ask other children 

who have faced 

similar difficulties 

to provide one-onone support to your children. A number 

of sources can put you in touch with other 

families that have experienced the trauma 

of a missing child. Try calling your local law 

enforcement agency, your state missing 

children’s clearinghouse, NCMEC, or other 

missing children’s organizations. Your children 

may be more comfortable talking with a peer 

who has gone through a similar ordeal.

Seek professional counseling for your 

children. Your children are suffering just as 

in ten sely as you are and may need help dealing with feelings of fear, anger, and grief. 

Don’t feel guilty that you cannot be their total 

support at this point in your life. Instead, look 

to others to help your children cope with the 

powerful emotions that follow the disappearance of a brother or sister.

W

c

n atching my daughter c suffer through the loss of p

her child was incredibly ti

painful. Not only was I i

hurting over the loss of 

Shelby, my granddaughter, 

but also over the deep pain t

of my daughter. a

—Marion Boburka
67

P e r s o n a l a n d F a m i l y C o n s i d e r a t i o n s

Helping Extended 

Family Members 

To Regain Their 

Physical and 

Emotional 

Strength

The disappearance of a child affects many 

people—grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. 

They, too, will experience deep emotional 

scars from the sudden loss. All of you will 

need the love and support of one another. 

Extended family members can do a number 

of things—contribute to the search effort, 

take care of other children, or stay in close 

phone contact—to help them work through 

the pain and grief of losing a relative.

If possible, include extended family members in the search effort. Extended family 

members can serve a variety of functions—

as spokesperson for the family, coordinator 

of media events, coordinator of volunteers, 

or co ordinator of searchers. They can also 

develop and disseminate posters and fliers, 

contact missing children’s organizations to 

request assistance, and gather information to 

give to law enforcement to help in the search 

and recovery effort.

Put a daily report on your home answering 

machine or voicemail greeting, or Web site, 

to keep family members informed of progress in the search. Law enforcement should 

keep you informed about the investigation, 

but in many cases extended family members 

are left out of such discussions. They may, 

as a result, feel left out and unsure of what 

to do. Putting simple messages on your 

home answering machine or voicemail greeting, or Web site, will keep distant family 

members informed. It also will save you time 

from having to make or receive phone calls 

and in the process will help to free up your 

telephone line in the event that your child or 

someone with a tip is trying to get through.

Don’t try to provide emotional support to 

everyone in your family. It is not your job 

to be an emotional “rock” for the extended 

family. Instead, encourage family members 

to seek support and comfort from friends 

and other family members, from their church 

or synagogue, or from local mental health 

agencies, professional counselors, or other 

community resources. Let members of your 

family know that you are depending on them 

to help you through this ordeal.
68

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

As time passes and your child does not return, you may become very frustrated. You may 

want to find a way to maintain or increase the level of activity. Some parents think about 

establishing a nonprofit organization (NPO). An NPO must have a broad public purpose 

(that is, it cannot be devoted to a single child). Although state regulations vary, federal 

regulations are in place to assure the public that their contributions are well managed and 

are used for the organization’s stated purpose.

There are several things to consider when establishing a tax-exempt NPO:

n You need a purpose or mission statement, articles of incorporation, bylaws, an operating budget, and a board of directors. You will need to file necessary documentation 

with appropriate state and federal agencies.

You must be aware of the differences between for-profit and nonprofit organizations 

to maintain the NPO’s programmatic and fiscal health.

You need to keep meticulous files, including financial and corporate records. These 

records are open to the public. You may also have to meet the standards of charitable 

watchdog agencies.

You may want to have an existing NPO serve as your fiscal agent.

You will need to develop a program that attracts enough interest and financial support 

so it can be maintained.

n

n

n

n

A word of caution: Imagine yourself undergoing the worst possible trauma and deciding 

that NOW would be a good time to start a new business. The startup and maintenance of 

a nonprofit organization can be incredibly challenging. Make sure you are surrounded by 

trusted friends or family who can do the majority of the work, especially at the beginning.

A A Word Word About About Starting Starting a a Nonprofit Nonprofit Organization Organization
69

P e r s o n a l a n d F a m i l y C o n s i d e r a t i o n s

Key Points

 1. Force yourself to eat, sleep, and exercise. Realize that your ability to be strong 
70

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Key Points (continued)

10. Don’t be surprised if your other children’s behavior changes drastically. Bedwetting, stomachaches, depression, anger, sullenness, quietness, and truancy are 

common reactions. But remember that children, just like adults, react differently 

to the disappearance of a child, and some may not show any change in behavior. 

Get a copy of What About Me? Coping With the Abduction of a Brother or Sister,

which was written by the siblings of abducted children. This publication is available at www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/217714.pdf.

11. Help your other children return to some type of normalcy by going back to 

school, but listen carefully to them before they go. Request that the school bring 

counselors into the classroom to discuss the situation with the children, and ask 

your law enforcement contact to arrange for an officer to go to the school to 

teach the children both how to recognize dangerous situations and how to get 

away.

12. Extended family members can serve a variety of functions in the search effort—

as spokesperson for the family, coordinator of media events, coordinator of volunteers, or coordinator of searchers. They can also help with posters and fliers, 

request assistance from missing children’s organizations, and gather information 

to give to law enforcement.

13. Don’t try to provide emotional support to everyone in your family. Seek professional counseling for yourself and your children to help you cope.

14. Bring callers up to date on the progress of the search by recording simple messages on your home answering machine or voicemail greeting, or Web site.

15. Never stop looking. Dedicate part of each day to your missing child by making 

phone calls, writing letters, contacting law enforcement, or doing whatever you 

think will help in the search for your missing child.
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P e r s o n a l a n d F a m i l y C o n s i d e r a t i o n s

Checklist: Figuring Out How To 

Pay Your Bills

Even though your world has stopped, the rest of the world marches on. If you work outside the 

home, your boss may be understanding at first, but may tell you later that you will be replaced 

if your child is not found quickly. If you are in business for yourself, you will have to balance 

your need to participate in the search with your need to make decisions about your company. 

At some point, you will have to deal with the bills that come in and perhaps other financial concerns as well, even if it’s to buy yourself more time.

Extended leave. If you need an extended leave from work, ask a family member or friend to 

talk to your employer on your behalf. For example, some employers allow employees to donate 

their excess leave time to those who need it.

Extensions on bills. Talk to mortgage companies, utility companies, and other creditors to see 

if you can get extensions on your bills.

Rebudgeting. Ask a friend or an accountant to help you rebudget your finances or refinance 

your house.

Financial assistance. Call your state missing children’s clearinghouse to find out if they know 

of local resources, such as social services or emergency or other financial assistance funds, that 

might be able to provide short- or long-term support for you.

Victim compensation funds. Call the Office for Victims of Crime or your state attorney general’s office to find out about victim’s compensation funds. Such funds may cover lost wages 

and other crime-related expenses.
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F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Notes
73

Recommended Readings and 

Other Resources

Critical Incident Response Group, Child Abduction and Serial Killer Unit. 1997. Child 

Abduction Response Plan. Quantico, VA: Federal Bureau of Investigation.

Designed for law enforcement agencies, this document is available only through the Crimes 

Against Children Coordinator of the local FBI Field Office. It explains essential techniques in 

child abduction investigations.

Echols, Mike. 1991. I Know My First Name Is Steven. Kearney, MO: Pinnacle Books.

Though not officially out of print, this book is out of stock indefinitely at the printer. Copies may 

be available at your local library or in larger bookstores. The author describes the long ordeal of 

two children who were kidnapped by Kenneth Parnell and the trauma they faced.

Federal Agency Task Force for Missing and Exploited Children. 2007. Federal Resources 

on Missing and Exploited Children: A Directory for Law Enforcement and Other Public and 

Private Agencies. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, 

Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention.

Developed for law enforcement agencies and other federal, state, and local agencies that work 

with missing and exploited children, this directory describes the many federal services, training programs, and resources that relate to missing and exploited children. Contact information 

is provided for easy access. The directory is available free of charge by calling the National 

Criminal Justice Reference Service (NCJRS) at 800–851–3420. If you prefer, you can download 

copies of the directory from the NCJRS Justice Information Web site (www.ncjrs.gov).

Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. 2002. A Family Resource Guide on 

International Parental Kidnapping. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice, Office of 

Justice Programs, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention.

This guide was developed by federal, state, and local agencies and organizations, and parents 

of children abducted to another country by the noncustodial parent. It offers descriptions and 

realistic assessments of civil and criminal remedies, explains applicable laws, identifies public 

and private resources, and identifies strategies to help left-behind parents recover their children 

or reestablish meaningful contact with them in another country. This guide is available free of 

charge by calling NCJRS at 800–851–3420. If you prefer, you can download copies of the guide 

from the NCJRS Justice Information Web site (www.ncjrs.gov).

Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. 2002. A Law Enforcement Guide 

on International Parental Kidnapping. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice, Office 

of Justice Programs, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention.

This guide is a companion to A Family Resource Guide on International Parental Kidnapping.

It serves as a resource for federal, state, and local law enforcement officers who are called 

on to respond to international parental kidnapping cases. It offers ideas and suggestions for 

preventing international abductions; discusses applicable laws, legal remedies, and liability 

 concerns; describes the role of law enforcement as both the initial responder and the investigator; and offers strategies for extradition, reunification, and recovery. This guide is available 

free of charge by calling NCJRS at 800–851–3420.
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F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. 2007. What About Me? Coping With 

the Abduction of a Brother or Sister. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice, Office of 

Justice Programs, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. 

This guide was written by siblings of children who have been abducted. It contains information that will help and support children of all ages when their brother or sister is kidnapped. It 

provides ideas on what children can expect in terms of the feelings they may experience, the 

events that may occur from day to day, and the things they can do to help themselves feel 

better. Written in child-friendly language, it is divided into sections that include home, family, 

law enforcement, the media, school and work, and holidays and anniversaries. The guide also 

contains activity pages for children of all ages, including those who are too young to read. The 

guide is available free of charge by calling NCJRS at 800–851–3420.

Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. 2008. You’re Not Alone: The Journey 

From Abduction to Empowerment. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice, Office of 

Justice Programs, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. 

This guide presents several stories about those who have survived a child abduction and how 

they have grown and developed after their traumatic experiences. It was written by survivors 

of child abduction and it provides information to help other survivors cope with their own experiences and begin their journey toward a better future. The guide also contains some blank 

space where readers can write down their own thoughts and feelings in response to each personal story. The guide is available free of charge by calling NCJRS at 800–851–3420.

Turner, Johanna. 1995. Grief at Work. Washington, DC: American Hospice Foundation.

This booklet provides suggestions for employees and managers for coping with grief and loss 

at work. The booklet is available from the American Hospice Foundation, 1130 Connecticut 

Avenue NW., Suite 700, Washington, DC 20036 (202–223–0204).

Turner, Johanna. 1996. Grief at School. Washington, DC: American Hospice Foundation.

This booklet for educators and counselors provides suggestions for helping children to cope 

with crisis and grief in the school setting. The booklet is available from the American Hospice 

Foundation, 1130 Connecticut Avenue NW., Suite 700, Washington, DC 20036 (202–223–0204).

Walsh, John. 1997. Tears of Rage. New York, NY: Pocket Books.

This book recounts the powerful and emotional story of John Walsh and his wife Revé following the 1981 abduction and murder of their 6-year-old son Adam. The book also chronicles 

John Walsh’s 16-year exhaustive efforts on behalf of missing and exploited children. Available 

in bookstores.

Ward, Heather Patricia. 1994. I Promise I’ll Find You. Ontario, Canada: Firefly Books.

This heartwarming children’s book tells the story of a mother who promises to do everything 

humanly possible to find her child should that child ever become lost or missing from home. 

Available in bookstores.
75

R e c o m m e n d e d R e a d i n g s a n d O t h e r R e s o u r c e s

Publications From the National Center 

for Missing & Exploited Children®

Single copies of the following books and up to 50 copies of each brochure 

are available free of charge from the National Center for Missing & Exploited 

Children® (www.ncmecpublications.org or 800–843–5678).

Books

Family Abduction Guide

Written in both English and Spanish, this guide describes the actions that parents and family 

members can take and the laws that can help when their child is abducted.

Missing and Abducted Children: A Law Enforcement Guide to Case Investigation and Program 

Management

This document provides law enforcement with a step-by-step guide on how to respond to and 

investigate missing children cases.

Brochures

Keeping Kids Safer on the Internet

The following brochures, written in both English and Spanish, are part of the Just in Case Series 

and offer step-by-step instructions for dealing with a variety of issues relating to missing and 

exploited children.

Just in Case . . . Guidelines in Case You Are Considering Day Care

Just in Case . . . Guidelines in Case You Need a Childcare Provider (English only)

Just in Case . . . Guidelines in Case You Are Considering Family Separation*

Just in Case . . . Guidelines in Case You Need a Babysitter (Spanish only)

Just in Case . . . Guidelines in Case Your Child Is Testifying in Court

Just in Case . . . Guidelines in Case Your Child Is or Might Someday Be a Runaway*

Just in Case . . . Guidelines in Case Your Child Might Someday Be Missing*

Just in Case . . . Guidelines in Case Your Child Might Someday Be the Victim of Sexual 

Exploitation*

Just in Case . . . Information for Families Grieving After the Loss of a Child and the Professionals Who Support Them 

Just in Case . . . Guidelines in Finding Professional Help in Case Your Child Is Missing or the 

Victim of Sexual Exploitation*

Just in Case . . . Guidelines on Using the Federal Parent Locator Service in Cases of Parental 

Kidnaping and Child Custody

* Also available in Vietnamese.
The following brochures, part of the Know the Rules Series, provide information and tips for children, teenagers, and parents on a variety of topics relating to child exploitation, victimization, and 

safety. 

Know the Rules . . . Abduction and Kidnapping Prevention Tips for Parents

Know the Rules . . . After School Safety Tips for Children Who Are Home Alone

Know the Rules . . . Child Safety for Door-to-Door Solicitation

Know the Rules . . . For Child Safety in Amusement or Theme Parks

Know the Rules . . . For Child Safety in Youth Sports

Know the Rules . . . For Going To and From School More Safely

Know the Rules . . . General Tips for Parents and Guardians To Help Keep Their 

Children Safer

Know the Rules . . . Safety Tips for Halloween

Know the Rules . . . Safety Tips for Teens

Know the Rules . . . Safety Tips for the Holidays

Know the Rules . . . Summer Safety Tips for Children

Know the Rules . . . Summer Safety Tips for Parents/Guardians

Know the Rules . . . When Your Child Is Flying Unaccompanied

Know the Rules . . . When Your Child Is Traveling Unaccompanied by Bus or Train

Know the Rules . . . Traveling Outside of and to the United States

Knowing My Rules for Safety

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F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e
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R e c o m m e n d e d R e a d i n g s a n d O t h e r R e s o u r c e s

Internet Safety Resources for Parents

Got 2B Safe!

 www.got2bsafe.com/child_safety.asp

 Honeywell and National Center for Missing & Exploited Children®

 This site offers simple rules for parents to help prevent abduction and sexual exploitation 

 through teachable moments.

NetSmartz Kids

 www.netsmartzkids.org/indexFl.htm

 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children®

 This is a fun and interactive site to teach children how to be safe both online and in their 

 everyday lives. The site features games, puzzles, printout activity books, and videos.

WebWiseKids

 http://webwisekids.org/index.asp

 This site provides a free, downloadable education program to help parents teach teens 

 and young children about the various dangers associated with inappropriate Internet use.

Dees, T. 2004. Internet predators: Missing. Law and Order 52(8).

 www.ncjrs.gov/App/Publications/abstract.aspx?ID=206919 

 This article describes a video game (available for download) that teaches youth about the 

 dangers of interacting with predators on the Internet.

Federal Bureau of Investigation. A Parent’s Guide to Internet Safety.

 www.fbi.gov/publications/pguide/pguidee.htm

 This guide informs parents about the dangers of online child exploitation and teaches 

 them how to monitor children’s Internet and telephone use.

Federal Trade Commission. 2007. Social Networking Sites: A Parent’s Guide.

www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/consumer/tech/tec13.pdf

 This guide encourages parents and children to talk about the risks involved in using 

 social networking sites and offers tips for using them safely. It includes resources 

 for more information.

Finkelhor, D., Mitchell, K., and Wolak, J. 2000. Online Victimization: A Report on the 

Nation’s Youth. Alexandria, VA: National Center for Missing & Exploited Children®. 

www.unh.edu/ccrc/pdf/Victimization_Online_Survey.pdf

 This report provides information on the threat, incidence rate, and victim response to 

 online predators.

79

Additional Resources

A number of organizations and agencies in 

both the public and private sector work with 

parents whose children are missing. These 

agencies can provide information, assistance with photo and flier production and 

distribution, referral services, and investigative resources for you, your family, and law 

enforcement.

Private Resources

National Center for 

Missing & Exploited 

Children® (NCMEC)

NCMEC serves a variety of functions:

n Distribution of pictures and posters of 

missing children worldwide.

Provision of information and technical 

assistance to citizens.

Provision of training, technical assistance, 

and technical support to state missing 

children’s clearinghouses and to state and 

local law enforcement agencies.

n

n

You can call NCMEC to get copies of its intake 

and release forms mailed or sent to you via 

fax and to get information on how you can 

have a color picture of your child posted on 

NCMEC’s Web site, distributed to NCMEC’s 

photo partners, and printed on fliers for you 

to distribute.

NCMEC also manages and coordinates Project ALERT (America’s Law Enforcement 

Retiree Team) and Team Adam, free consultation services on missing children cases for 

law enforcement agencies.

NCMEC’s Family Advocacy Division also supports Team H.O.P.E., a parent-to-parent mentoring service. Team H.O.P.E. is a national 

support network that matches left-behind 

parents with trained parent volunteer mentors 

who have experienced an abduction in their 

own families.

National Center for Missing & 

Exploited Children®

699 Prince Street 

Alexandria, VA 22314–3175 

800–THE–LOST® (800–843–5678) (Hotline for

the United States, Canada, and Mexico), 

800–826–7653 (TTY), or 703–274–3900 

703–274–2200 (Fax) 

Internet: www.missingkids.com 

CyberTipline: www.cybertipline.com

Branch Offices 

California: 714–508–0150 

Florida: 561–848–1900 

Collier County: 239–566–5801 

Kansas City (MO): 816–756–5422 

New York 

585–242–0900 (Rochester) 

716–842–6333 (Buffalo) 

315–732–7233 (Mohawk Valley) 

South Carolina: 803–254–2326 

Texas: 512–465–2156

Team H.O.P .E.

866–305–HOPE (866–305–4673) 

Internet: www.teamhope.org 

or contact NCMEC at 800–843–5678

Association of Missing 

and Exploited Children’s 

Organizations, Inc. 

(AMECO)

AMECO is a national association of missing 

and exploited children’s organizations that 

work together to serve and protect missing 

children and their families. AMECO seeks 

to improve both the capabilities of nonprofit 

missing children’s organizations and the overall quality of services provided through certification of its member organizations. AMECO 

develops standards for missing children’s 
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F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

organizations, provides outreach and assistance to local nonprofit organizations, and 

establishes guidelines for nonprofit agencies 

that serve missing children and their families.

You can contact AMECO to find out the names 

of nonprofit missing children’s organizations—

both in your community and throughout the 

country—that can provide assistance and support to you and your family.

Association of Missing and Exploited 

Children’s Organizations, Inc.

Internet: www.amecoinc.org

Other Nonprofit 

Organizations

A number of private nonprofit organizations 

provide services to families whose children 

have been abducted. Before you contact such 

an organization, however, ask NCMEC or 

AMECO to tell you which organizations meet 

their requirements for certification or membership. You might also want to talk with 

your law enforcement contact and with the 

parents of other missing children. Be wary of 

organizations that promise they can find your 

missing child, that request payment for these 

services, or that are unknown in this field.

Victim’s Advocates

Ask your law enforcement contact to arrange 

to have a victim’s advocate come to your 

home to explain your rights and to explore the 

counseling, treatment, and related services 

available to you. Victim’s advocates are usually associated with the offices of the sheriff, 

the state prosecutor, or the district attorney. 

If you have access to the Internet, you can 

find a list of victim advocacy and compensation groups at the Office for Victims of Crime 

Web site (www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc). Federal 

Resources on Missing and Exploited Children: 

A Directory for Law Enforcement and Other 

Public and Private Agencies (see Recommended Readings and Other Resources) also 

contains a list of victim’s advocate services 

and organizations.

Parent Survivors

Talking with parents who have survived a 

similar ordeal can help you regain your sanity 

and increase your effectiveness in the search 

for your child, for only they can truly understand your pain and anguish. The parents who 

helped to write this Guide are willing to talk to 

you. To contact any of the parent authors, call 

the Child Protection Division at the Office of 

Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention 

(202–616–3637). Other victim help groups 

are listed in Federal Resources on Missing 

and Exploited Children: A Directory for Law 

Enforcement and Other Public and Private 

Agencies (see Recommended Readings and 

Other Resources).

In addition, Team H.O.P.E. can connect 

trained parent volunteers who can provide 

advice, assistance, and encouragement to 

other parent victims. Parent survivors and 

volunteers can also be reached through Team 

H.O.P.E. at 866–305–HOPE (866–305–4673).

Local Businesses

Local businesses in your community can provide a number of goods and services that will 

be needed in the search for your child. In addition, with permission you can post your child’s 

picture in store windows, on doors, and on 

the backs of trucks. See chapter 5 (Volunteers) 

for a list of the types of organizations and 

businesses that may be willing to help.
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A d d i t i o n a l R e s o u r c e s

Government 

Resources

Federal Agencies

Many federal agencies provide technical support and services to law enforcement and 

other public and private agencies to aid in 

the search and recovery of a missing child. 

A comprehensive list of these services is 

available in Federal Resources on Missing 

and Exploited Children: A Directory for Law 

Enforcement and Other Public and Private 

Agencies (see Recommended Readings and 

Other Resources). The agencies listed below, 

which have been referenced throughout this 

Guide, provide support and/or investigative 

services to missing and exploited children and 

their families.

Child Protection Division 

The Child Protection Division provides support 

to several missing and exploited children‘s 

organizations, including NCMEC, AMECO, 

and Team H.O.P.E.; provides technical assistance and training to law enforcement to 

improve their investigation of missing and 

exploited children cases; produces reports 

to improve services to missing and exploited 

children and their families; and conducts 

research related to missing and exploited 

children. For information about any of these 

activities or the organizations listed above, 

call the Child Protection Division at the phone 

number listed below.

Child Protection Division 

Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency 

Prevention

Office of Justice Programs 

U.S. Department of Justice 

810 Seventh Street NW. 

Washington, DC 20531 

202–616–3637 

202–307–2819 (Fax) 

Internet: www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ojjdp

Office for Victims 

of Crime (OVC)

OVC makes awards each year to state 

crime victim compensation and assistance 

programs to supplement state funding for 

victim services. Crime victim compensation 

is the direct payment to a crime victim or to 

his or her family to help cover crime-related 

expenses, such as medical treatment, mental 

health counseling, lost wages, or funeral services. Every state administers a crime victim 

compensation program, and most programs 

have similar eligibility requirements and offer 

a comparable range of benefits.

Crime victim assistance programs provide 

direct services, such as crisis intervention, 

counseling, emergency transportation to 

court, temporary housing, and criminal justice 

support and advocacy. For information about 

these programs, contact your local crime 

victim compensation program or crime victim 

assistance program. Federal Resources on 

Missing and Exploited Children: A Directory 

for Law Enforcement and Other Public and 

Private Agencies (see Recommended Readings and Other Resources) contains a listing of 

all state offices.

Office for Victims of Crime 

Office of Justice Programs 

U.S. Department of Justice 

810 Seventh Street NW. 

Washington, DC 20531 

202–307–5983 

202–514–6383 (Fax) 

Internet: www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc

Federal Bureau of Investigation

FBI Headquarters 

Special Investigations and Initiatives Unit 

Crimes Against Children Unit 

935 Pennsylvania Avenue NW. 

Washington, DC 20535–0001 

202–324–3666 

202–324–2731 (Fax) 

(See the front of your local telephone book for 

the number of your local FBI Field Office.)
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F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

The Crimes Against Children Unit works 

closely with FBI Field Offices and other FBI 

components to coordinate operational support 

to more effectively address crimes against 

children. The FBI Field Offices house Crimes 

Against Children Coordinators, who use all 

available investigative, tactical, forensic, informational, and behavioral science resources in 

the investigation of crimes against children.

Missing Children’s 

Clearinghouses1

Missing children’s clearinghouses are state 

government agencies connected with law 

enforcement. Because the types of services 

available in each state vary substantially, you 

need to call your state clearinghouse to find 

out both what services are available to help 

you in your search and whether the clearinghouse will distribute photographs of your 

missing child. Then you can call other state 

clearinghouses in your region and throughout the nation to compare services and take 

advantage of those not available to you instate. Keep a list of what you learn about 

each clearinghouse in a spiral notebook for 

later use.

Alabama

Alabama Bureau of Investigation 

Missing and Exploited Children 

P.O. Box 1511 

Montgomery, AL 36102–1511 

800–228–7688 

334–353–2563 (Fax) 

Internet: www.dps.state.al.us/abi 

ORI: ALAST0047

Alaska

Alaska State Troopers 

Missing Persons Clearinghouse 

5700 East Tudor Road 

Anchorage, AK 99507 

800–478–9333 or 907–269–5497 

907–338–7243 (Fax) 

ORI: AKAST0100

Arizona

Arizona Department of Public Safety 

Criminal Investigations Research Unit 

P.O. Box 6638 

Phoenix, AZ 85005 

602–223–2158 

602–223–2911 (Fax) 

ORI: AZ0079925

Arkansas

Arkansas Office of the Attorney General 

Missing Children Services Program 

323 Center Street, Suite 1100 

Little Rock, AR 72201 

800–448–3014 (in-state only) or 

501–682–1020 

501–682–6704 (Fax) 

Internet: www.arkansasag.gov 

ORI: AR060035A

California

California Department of Justice 

Missing and Unidentified Persons Unit 

P.O. Box 903387 

Sacramento, CA 94203–3870 

800–222–3463 (in-state only) or 

916–227–3290 

916–227–3270 (Fax) 

Internet: http://ag.ca.gov/missing 

ORI: CA0349454

1 The ORI numbers following many of the clearinghouses in this list are assigned by the National Crime Information

Center to law enforcement agencies for administrative purposes.
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A d d i t i o n a l R e s o u r c e s

Colorado

Colorado Bureau of Investigation 

Missing Person/Children Unit 

710 Kipling Street, Suite 200 

Denver, CO 80215 

303–239–4251 

303–239–5788 (Fax) 

ORI: COCBI0009

Connecticut

Connecticut State Police 

Missing Persons 

P.O. Box 2794 

Middletown, CT 06457–9294 

800–367–5678 (in-state only), 

 860–685–8190 (emergency messaging), 

 or 860–685–8260 

860–685–8346 (Fax) 

ORI: CTCSP2900

Delaware

Delaware State Police 

State Bureau of Identification 

1407 North DuPont Highway 

Dover, DE 19903 

302–739–5883 

302–739–5888 (Fax) 

ORI: DEDSP0001

District of Columbia

D.C. Metropolitan Police Department 

Missing Persons/Youth Division 

1700 Rhode Island Avenue NE. 

Washington, DC 20018 

202–576–6768 

202–576–6561 (Fax) 

ORI: DCMPD0000

Florida

Florida Department of Law Enforcement 

Missing Children Information Clearinghouse 

P.O. Box 1489 

Tallahassee, FL 32302 

888–356–4774 or 850–410–8585 

850–410–8599 (Fax) 

E-mail: 74431.134@compuserve.com 

Internet: www.fdle.state.fl.us

Georgia

Georgia Bureau of Investigation 

Intelligence Unit 

P.O. Box 370808 

Decatur, GA 30037 

800–282–6564 or 404–244–2554 

404–244–2798 (Fax) 

ORI: GAGBI0050

Hawaii

Hawaii State Clearinghouse on 

Missing Children 

Department of the Attorney General 

235 South Beretania Street, Suite 206 

Honolulu, HI 96813 

808–586–1449 

808–753–9797 (Hotline) 

808–586–1424 (Fax) 

Internet: www.missingchildcenterhawaii.com

Idaho

Idaho Bureau of Criminal Identification 

Missing Persons Clearinghouse 

P.O. Box 700 

Meridian, ID 83680–0700 

888–777–3922 or 208–884–7154 

208–884–7193 (Fax) 

Internet: www.isp.state.id.us 

ORI: ID001015Y

Illinois

Illinois State Police 

500 Iles Park Place, Suite 104 

Springfield, IL 62703–2982 

800–843–5763 or 217–785–4341 

217–785–6793 (Fax) 

Internet: www.amberillinois.org 

ORI: IL0849800

Indiana

Indiana State Police 

Indiana Missing Children Clearinghouse 

Third Floor North 

100 North Senate Avenue 

Indianapolis, IN 46204–2259 

800–831–8953 or 317–232–8310 

317–233–3057 (Fax) 

Internet: www.state.in.us/isp 

ORI: INISP0012
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F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Iowa

Missing Person Information Clearinghouse 

Division of Criminal Investigations 

Wallace State Office Building 

East 9th and Grand 

Des Moines, IA 50319 

800–346–5507 or 515–281–7958 

515–242–6297 (Fax) 

Internet: www.iowaonline.state.ia.us/mpic

Kansas

Kansas Bureau of Investigation 

Missing Persons Clearinghouse 

1620 SW. Tyler Street 

Topeka, KS 66612–1837 

800–572–7463 or 785–296–8200 

785–296–6781 (Fax) 

Internet: www.accesskansas.org/kbi or 

 www.ksamber.org 

ORI: KSKBI0000

Kentucky

Kentucky State Police 

1240 Airport Road 

Frankfort, KY 40601 

800–222–5555 (in-state only) or 

 502–227–8799 

502–564–4931 (Fax) 

Internet: www.state.ky.us/agencies/ksp/ 

 mchild.htm 

ORI: KYSKP0022

Louisiana

Louisiana Department of Social Services 

Louisiana Clearinghouse for Missing and 

 Exploited Children 

Office of Community Services 

P.O. Box 3318 

Baton Rouge, LA 70812 

225–342–8631 

225–342–9087 (Fax)

Maine

Maine State Police 

Missing Children Clearinghouse 

State House Station 52 

18 Meadow Road 

Augusta, ME 04333–0052 

207–532–5404 

207–532–5455 (Fax) 

ORI: MEMSP0000

Maryland

Maryland Center for Missing Children 

Maryland State Police Computer Crimes Unit 

7155 Columbia Gateway Drive, Suite C 

Columbia, MD 21046 

800–637–5437 or 410–290–1620 

410–290–1831 (Fax) 

ORI: MDMSP9500

Massachusetts

Massachusetts State Police 

Missing Persons Unit 

470 Worchester Road 

Framingham, MA 01702 

800–622–5999 (in-state only) or 

508–820–2129

508–820–2128 (Fax) 

ORI: MAMSP0070

Michigan

Michigan State Police 

Prevention Services Unit 

714 South Harrison Road 

Lansing, MI 48823 

517–333–4006 

517–336–6100 (24-hour emergency line) 

517–333–4115 (Fax)

Minnesota

Minnesota State Clearinghouse 

Bureau of Criminal Apprehension 

1430 Maryland Avenue 

St. Paul, MN 55106 

651–793–1107 

651–793–1101 (Fax)
85

A d d i t i o n a l R e s o u r c e s

Mississippi

Mississippi Highway Patrol 

3891 Highway 486 West 

Jackson, MS 39208 

601–933–2657 

601–933–2677 (Fax)

Missouri

Missouri State Highway Patrol 

Division of Drug and Crime Control 

P.O. Box 568 

Jefferson City, MO 65102 

800–877–3452 or 573–526–6178 

573–526–5577 (Fax) 

ORI: MOMHP0014 

ORI: MOMHP0007

Montana

Montana Department of Justice 

Missing/Unidentified Persons 

P.O. Box 201402 

303 North Roberts Street, Room 374 

Helena, MT 59620–1417 

406–444–2800 

406–444–4453 (Fax) 

ORI: MT025045Y

Nebraska

Nebraska State Patrol 

Criminal Records and Identification Division 

P.O. Box 94907 

Lincoln, NE 68509 

402–471–4545/479–4918 

402–479–4054 (Fax)

Nevada

Nevada Office of the Attorney General 

Nevada Missing Children Clearinghouse 

555 East Washington Avenue, Suite 3900 

Las Vegas, NV 89101–6208 

800–992–0900 (in-state only) or 

 702–486–3539 

702–486–3768 (Fax) 

Internet: www.ag.state.nv.us/Divisions/ 

 Fraudunits/MissingKids/miss_kids.htm 

ORI: NV018025A

New Hampshire

New Hampshire State Police 

Investigative Services Bureau 

Major Crimes Unit 

91 Airport Road 

Concord, NH 03301 

800–852–3411 (in-state only) or 

603–271–2663

603–271–2520 (Fax) 

Internet: missingpersons@safety.state.nh.us 

ORI: NHNSP0800

New Jersey

New Jersey State Police 

Unidentified Persons Unit 

P.O. Box 7068 

West Trenton, NJ 08628 

800–709–7090 or 609–882–2000 

609–882–2719 (Fax) 

Internet: www.njsp.org/divorg/invest/ 

mpce-unit.html

ORI: NJNSP0032

New Mexico

New Mexico Department of Public Safety 

ATTN: Law Enforcement Records 

P.O. Box 1628 

Santa Fe, NM 87504–1628 

505–827–9191 

505–827–3388 (Fax)

New York

New York Division of Criminal Justice Service 

Missing and Exploited Children 

4 Tower Place 

Albany, NY 12203 

800–346–3543 or 518–457–6326 

518–457–6965 (Fax) 

Internet: http://criminaljustice.state.ny.us 

ORI: NY001025Y
86

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

North Carolina

North Carolina Center for Missing Persons 

4706 Mail Service Center 

Raleigh, NC 27699–4706 

800–522–5437 (in-state only) or 

 919–733–3914 

919–715–1682 (Fax) 

ORI: NCNHP0000

North Dakota

North Dakota Bureau of Criminal Investigation 

P.O. Box 1054 

Bismarck, ND 58502–1052 

701–328–5500 

701–328–5510 (Fax) 

ORI: NDRCD0000

Ohio

Missing Children Clearinghouse 

Attorney General’s Office 

Crime Victims Services Section 

65 East State Street, Fifth Floor 

Columbus, OH 43215–4231 

800–325–5604 or 614–466–5610 

614–728–9536 (Fax) 

Internet: www.mcc.ag.state.oh.us

Oklahoma

Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation 

Criminal Intelligence Office 

6600 North Harvey 

Oklahoma City, OK 73136 

405–879–2645 

405–879–2967 (Fax) 

ORI: OKOBI0000

Oregon

Oregon State Police 

Missing Children Clearinghouse 

400 Public Service Building 

Salem, OR 97310 

800–282–7155 (in-state only) or 

 503–378–3720 

503–363–5475 (Fax) 

Internet: www.osp.state.or.us 

ORI: OROSP0003 OROSP0004

Pennsylvania

Pennsylvania State Police 

Bureau of Criminal Investigation 

1800 Elmerton Avenue 

Harrisburg, PA 17110 

717–783–0960 

717–705–2306 (Fax) 

ORI: PAPSP0012

Rhode Island

Rhode Island State Police 

Missing and Exploited Children Unit 

311 Danielson Pike 

North Scituate, RI 02857 

401–444–1125 

401–444–1133 (Fax) 

ORI: RIRSP0001

South Carolina

South Carolina Law Enforcement Division 

Missing Person Information Center 

P.O. Box 21398 

Columbia, SC 29221–1398 

800–322–4453 or 803–737–9000 

803–896–7595 (Fax) 

ORI: SCLED00M0

South Dakota

South Dakota Attorney General’s Office 

Division of Criminal Investigation 

East Highway 34 

c/o 500 East Capitol Avenue 

Pierre, SD 57501 

605–773–3331 

605–773–4629 (Fax) 

ORI: SDDCI0000

Tennessee

Tennessee Bureau of Investigation 

Criminal Intelligence Unit 

901 R.S. Gass Boulevard 

Nashville, TN 37206 

615–744–4000 

615–744–4513 (Fax) 

ORI: TNTBI0000
87

A d d i t i o n a l R e s o u r c e s

Texas

Texas Department of Public Safety 

Special Crimes Services 

P.O. Box 4087 

Austin, TX 78773–0422 

800–346–3243 (in-state only) or 

 512–424–5074 

512–424–2885 (Fax) 

Internet: www.txdps.state.tx.us/mpch 

ORI: TXDPS4300

Utah

Utah Department of Public Safety 

Bureau of Criminal Identification 

P.O. Box 148280 

Salt Lake City, UT 84114–8280 

888–770–6477 or 801–965–4500 

801–965–4749 (Fax)

Vermont

Vermont State Police 

103 South Main Street 

Waterbury, VT 05671 

802–241–5352 

802–241–5349 (Fax)

Virginia

Virginia State Police Department 

Missing Children’s Clearinghouse 

P.O. Box 27472 

Richmond, VA 23261 

800–822–4453 (in-state only) or 

 804–674–2026 

804–674–2105 (Fax) 

ORI: VAVSP0000

Washington

Washington State Patrol 

Missing Children Clearinghouse 

P.O. Box 2347 

Olympia, WA 98507–2347 

800–543–5678 

360–644–2156 (Fax) 

ORI: WAWSP00L1

West Virginia

West Virginia State Police 

Missing Children Clearinghouse 

725 Jefferson Road 

South Charleston, WV 25309–1698 

800–352–0927 (in-state only) or 

304–558–1467

304–558–1470 (Fax)

Wisconsin

Wisconsin Department of Justice 

Division of Criminal Investigation 

P.O. Box 7857 

Madison, WI 53701–2718 

800–THE–HOPE (800–843–4673) 

(in-state only) or 608–266–1671 

608–267–2777 (Fax) 

ORI: WI013015Y

Wyoming

Wyoming Office of the Attorney General 

Division of Criminal Investigation 

316 West 22d 

Cheyenne, WY 82002 

307–777–7537 

307–777–8900 (Fax) 

ORI: WY0110400

Canada

Royal Canadian Mounted Police 

Missing Children’s Registry 

P.O. Box 8885 

1200 Vanier Parkway 

Ottawa, Ontario, CN K1G 3MB 

877–318–3576 (toll free in North America) 

or 613–993–1525

613–993–5430 (Fax) 

Internet: www.ourmissingchildren.gc.ca 

ORI: ON11074
88

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Puerto Rico 

Missing Children Program 

Centro Estatal Para Niños Desaparecidos y 

 Victimas de Abuso 

P.O. Box 9023899 

Old San Juan, PR 00902–3899 

787–729–2523 

800–995–NINO (limited calling area) 

787–722–0809 (Fax)

U.S. Virgin Islands

U.S. Virgin Islands Police Department 

Patrick Sweeney Police Headquarters 

RR02 Kingshill 

St. Croix, VI 00850 

340–772–2211 

340–772–2626 (Fax)

Netherlands Police 

Dutch National Police 

P.O. Box 3016 

2700 KX Zoetermeer 

The Netherlands

Street Address: 

Europeiweg 45 

2700 KX Zoetermeer 

The Netherlands 

011–31–79–345–9748 

011–31–79–345–8881 (Fax) 

Internet: http://nl.missingkids.com

The most up-to-date information is available at 

www.missingkids.com/lawenforcement; click 

on “Missing-Child Clearinghouse Program.” 

Information is subject to change.
89

About the Parent Authors

Heather Cox and Marion Boburka, mother and 

grandmother, respectively, of Shelby Marie Cox, 

have been strong proponents for missing and 

exploited children and their families since 4-yearold Shelby disappeared on November 13, 1995. 

She was playing on the family porch with her older 

sister and friends. After a 5-day search, Shelby’s 

battered body was found in a neighbor’s shed, killed 

by an 18-year-old boy who later confessed. “Shelby 

was a joyous child,” Heather writes, “who saw the 

wonders of this world and embraced every one of 

them. She saw the magic in the clouds, the wonder 

of a rainbow, the beauty of a flower in bloom. She 

was full of spunk and mischievousness and laughter. 

To say we miss her doesn’t even come close to 

how deep our feelings are. Instead, we fight for the 

children, for Shelby’s peers, so that people will learn, and then Shelby’s life and death will not have 

been in vain.”

Colleen Nick, mother of Morgan Chauntel Nick, 

has been a spokesperson and champion for missing children and their families since Morgan’s 

ab duction on June 9, 1995. Six-year-old Morgan 

was last seen at 10:45 p.m., while playing at 

a little league ball game in Alma, AR. She was 

standing near her mother’s car where she had stopped 

to empty sand from her shoes. Witnesses 

observed a man watching Morgan as she played 

with other children. The man was described as 

white, 6 feet tall, 20 to 40 years old, with black or 

“salt and pepper” hair. Colleen writes, “You are 

a wonderful friend, a treasured daughter, a loving 

big sister, a blessing we cannot live without. We 

feel cheated every day that goes by and we do 

not see your smile, hear your bubbly laughter, or 

listen to your thoughts and ideas. We know that the world was deprived of something very precious and unique when you were taken from us. We have never stopped believing that we will 

find you. We will never give up hope. Always know that you are loved. Most of all, don’t ever give 

up. We will find you. We promise.”

Shelby Cox

Morgan Nick
90

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

Don and Claudine Ryce, parents of Jimmy Ryce, 

have devoted their lives to getting kids home safe. 

On September 11, 1995, Jimmy was walking home 

from the bus stop when he was abducted at gunpoint, sexually molested, and murdered. His parents 

believe he could have been found if bloodhounds 

had been available. As cofounders of the Jimmy 

Ryce Center for Victims of Predatory Abduction, 

Don and Claudine have worked to establish a 

network of bloodhounds across the country; coordinated a petition drive that resulted in President 

Clinton’s signing of an Executive memorandum 

requiring that missing children’s pictures be posted 

in federal buildings and national parks; worked to 

place missing children’s pictures on billboards and 

in every driver’s license renewal packet sent out in 

Florida; and helped the Dade County School Board 

implement the Jimmy Ryce Predator Notification Act by sending home with each child pictures 

of convicted sexual predators living in the county. The Ryces write, “Children are their own last 

defense against sexual predators. To make children more predator resistant, we are developing a 

Web site (http://jimmyryce.org) where children can learn how to recognize dangerous situations 

and how to get away. It takes a lot of imagination and hard work to make our children safer, but 

we can do it together. Send us your ideas at misujim@netrox.net.”

Patrick Sessions, father of Tiffany Sessions, has 

devoted much of his energy to helping protect 

other children who may be victimized and providing support and encouragement to their families. 

Tiffany was last seen on February 9, 1989, at 

6 p.m., walking in Gainesville, FL. She was 20 

years old and had blonde hair and blue eyes. 

“It is the hope of the Sessions family,” Patrick 

writes, “that this Guide will be of help to families 

who may find themselves in the difficult position of searching for a loved one. Although the 

search for Tiffany has not been successful, many 

other families’ prayers have been answered 

with the return of their loved ones. Literally 

thousands of people, both friends and strangers, reached out to help in the search for Tiffany, and 

those hard-learned lessons are included in this Guide. Our small part in helping prepare this Guide

is dedicated to all the people who have helped Tiffany and the other children who have needed 

their help and support. Thanks to those people, we have the strength and determination to continue our search for Tiffany.”

Jimmy Ryce

Tiffany Sessions
91

A b o u t t h e P a r e n t A u t h o r s

Patty Wetterling, mother of Jacob Wetterling, 

has devoted her life to child safety issues. She is 

a founding member of the board of directors of the 

Association of Missing and Exploited Children’s 

Organizations, a cofounder of the Jacob Wetterling 

Foundation, and a member of the board of directors of the National Center for Missing & Exploited 

Children®. Her most recent accomplishments 

include passage of the Jacob Wetterling Crimes 

Against Children Registration Act, a federal law 

requiring convicted sex offenders to register their 

place of residence with local law enforcement after 

release from prison. On October 22, 1989, Jacob 

was abducted at gunpoint near the Wetterling home 

and has not been seen since. Patty writes, “I think 

about you every day and wonder what you would 

have become had you not been stolen from us. 

It’s so unfair. If you’re not alive, we need to know. 

Some one has been torturing us for far too long. I still look everywhere I go at faces, and I keep 

asking everyone else to look, too. Sometimes people who were badly victimized forget who they 

are. I’m still asking the whole world to help. Don’t give up your dreams, Jacob. They can still 

come true if you hope and don’t give up. We’re still searching for you and we will never quit until 

we know who did this, what happened, and where you are. Forever and always, I love you.”

Jacob Wetterling

93

Index

AMBER Alert Plan, 2, 4, 17, 21

AMECO. See Association of Missing and Exploited 

 Children’s Organizations, Inc. 

age-progressed photographs, 9, 41

alcohol, use of, 62

America’s Most Wanted, 19, 27, 41

anger, coping with, 62, 63, 65, 66

Association of Missing and Exploited Children’s 

 Organizations, Inc., 8, 9, 40, 50, 79–80, 81

BOLO. See Be On the Look Out bulletin

Be On the Look Out bulletin, 2, 21

bill paying, 71

birthdays, 28, 31, 41, 55

 changes in celebrating, 65

blame, coping with, 62, 63

blog, 22

bloodhounds, 3, 7, 50, 90

broadcast fax, 41

buttons, 9, 31, 42, 45

child advocate, 18

child, description of missing, 2, 4, 14, 26, 33, 37

Child Protection Division, 63, 80, 81

children. See siblings

computer, 2, 14, 22, 40

coordinator 

 of media events, 67

 of photo distribution, 40

 of posters, 45

 of volunteers, 47, 49, 67

counseling, 62, 63, 64, 66, 67, 80

Crime Stoppers, 9, 45, 59

DNA evidence, 14, 21

dental records, 15

depression, coping with, 62, 63, 66

description, of missing child, 2, 4, 14, 26, 33, 37

digitized photographs, 26, 33, 37, 40

disappearance, classification of, 19

dogs, tracking and trailing, 3, 6, 7, 14, 21. See also 

 bloodhounds 

donations, 56–57

 accounting for, 56–57

drugs, use of, 62

e-mail, 19, 30, 40, 41, 42, 47. See also Internet

Emergency Alert System, 4

emotions, 62, 63, 66. See also mental health

evidence, collection of, 2, 5, 14, 52. See also 

DNA evidence 

exercise, importance of, 61

extortion, 3, 22, 57

FBI. See Federal Bureau of Investigation

Facebook, 2

Family Advocacy Division, 50. See also National 

Center for Missing & Exploited Children®

family meetings, 28, 65

family spokesperson, 3, 26, 27, 67

fax machines, use of, 40, 42

fear, coping with, 62, 63, 65, 66

Federal Bureau of Investigation, 2, 81–82

Evidence Response Teams, 6

Field Office resources, 3, 6, 21, 41, 82

special reward funds, 56

financial assistance, 71

financial concerns, 56, 71

fliers 

distribution of, 9, 31, 37, 40–42, 45, 47, 48, 65, 67

samples, 38–39

grief, coping with, 62, 63, 64, 66, 67

helicopters, 6, 21

holidays, changes in celebrating, 65

hope, 1, 61, 64

infrared, 6, 21

Internet 

sites, 2, 15

surfing, 14

use of, 40, 48, 80

See also e-mail, Web site

interviews 

with law enforcement, 18

with the media, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33–34, 

41, 42, 65

journal, personal, 8, 62
94

F a m i l y S u r v i v a l G u i d e

laughter, 64

law enforcement 

 background checks, 7

 case coordinator, 2, 6, 8, 18–19

 classification of disappearance, 19

 criticism of, 34

 descriptions to, 2–3, 14, 37

 disclosure of information to the media, 3, 4, 14, 

 19, 25–26, 33, 34

 expectations of, 17

 leads for, 3, 9, 10–11, 59

 partnership with, 17–19

 photographs for, 14, 15

 questions from, 18

 and rewards, 55

 role in search, 5–7

 search and recovery plan, 5–6, 21–22

See also primary law enforcement contact,

 Team Adam

media 

 choice of family spokesperson, 3, 26, 27, 67

 deadlines, 27

 disclosure of information to, 19, 34

 events, 3, 26, 28, 31

 ground rules for, 26, 65

 “hooks,” 28, 30

 packages, 26–27

 public relations experts, 30

See also interviews; law enforcement, disclo- 

 sure of information to the media; press 

 conferences; press kits; press releases 

medical records, 3, 15

mental health 

 taking care of extended family members, 67

 taking care of your other children, 64–66

 taking care of yourself, 3, 61–64

missing children’s clearinghouses. See state 

 missing children’s clearinghouses 

missing children’s organizations 

 photo distribution, 2, 40, 42

 resources available from, 8, 9, 26, 64, 66, 67, 

 79–80

Missing-Child Clearinghouse Program, 88

Missing Persons File. See National Crime Informa- 

 tion Center, Missing Persons File 

MySpace, 2

NCIC. See National Crime Information Center

NCMEC. See National Center for Missing & 

 Exploited Children®

National Center for Missing & Exploited Children®

assistance from, 9, 26, 27, 41, 66

photo distribution, 2, 8, 40, 41, 42

publications, 75–76

resources, 3, 6, 8, 9, 19, 21, 40, 45, 50, 79

See also Project ALERT, Team H.O.P.E., 

Team Adam, and Family Advocacy Division 

National Crime Information Center, Missing 

Persons File, 2, 21

National Missing Children’s Day, 28

Nonprofit organization, 68

notebooks, uses for, 3, 6, 8, 52, 82

Office for Victims of Crime, 71, 80, 81

Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency 

Prevention, 63, 80

parents 

privacy issues, 27–28, 29

reaction to media coverage, 25

relationship with law enforcement, 6, 17–19

response to disappearance, 1

role in search, 5, 8, 14

as suspects, 18

See also mental health

peer support, 63, 66

photographs 

age-progressed, 9, 41

digitized, 26, 33, 37, 40

distribution coordinator, 40

distribution of, 2, 8, 37, 40–43

for law enforcement, 14, 15

for the media, 26, 33

pledges, monetary, 56

police reports, 8

politicians, getting help from, 9, 28, 31, 41

polygraph testing, 3, 18

posters, distribution of, 3, 9, 21, 31, 41–42, 47, 48, 

50, 67

press conferences, 26, 27, 28, 29, 31, 34

press kits, 41

press releases, 3, 28, 30, 31, 41, 42
95

I n d e x

primary law enforcement contact, 2, 6, 8, 18–19, 

 31, 41, 45, 49, 50, 55, 56, 63, 65, 66, 80

privacy issues, 26, 27, 29

Project ALERT, 79

private detectives, 10

psychics, 10–11

public awareness events, 31

questions 

 from law enforcement, 18

 from the media, 26, 33–34

radio, 4, 25, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33, 41

registry of missing persons. See National Crime 

 Information Center, Missing Persons File 

religion, 63

rewards 

 amount of, 56

 choice of tiplines, 8, 9, 59

 disposal of excess funds, 57

 publicity for, 26

 purpose of, 55

 use of, 3, 55–56

See also donations, special reward funds

school, returning to, 66

search 

 Internet, 6

 law enforcement’s role in, 5–7

 parents’ role in, 5, 8, 14

 types of, 6–7

 volunteers’ role in, 7–8, 47–50, 52

siblings, 64–66

sign-in procedures, for volunteers, 7, 52

social networking sites, 2, 15, 22

special reward funds, 56

state missing children’s clearinghouses, 82–88

 photo distribution, 2, 40

 resources available from, 8, 9, 19, 21, 26, 40, 

 59, 63, 66, 71

stress, handling, 28, 61–64

suspects, possible, 7, 14–15, 18, 21, 28

T-shirts, 31, 42

talk shows, 41, 43

Team Adam, 8, 21, 79

Team H.O.P.E., 50, 63, 79, 80

telephone 

caller ID, 3, 6

cell phones, 2, 3, 4, 6, 19, 22

how to answer, 3, 6, 48, 59, 67

television, 4, 25, 27, 29, 30, 31, 40

text messages, 4, 22

therapy. See counseling

tiplines, 9, 45, 59

Twitter, 22

victim’s advocates, 63, 80

Victim’s Bill of Rights, 29

victim’s compensation funds, 71, 80

videotapes, of missing child, 15, 33, 37, 40

volunteers 

activities for, 3, 8, 10, 30, 48, 52

coordinator of, 47, 49, 67

discomfort with, 11, 48–49

role in search, 7–8, 47–50, 52

sign-in procedures, 7, 52

staging area, 7

use of established groups, 7, 49

Web site, 3, 9, 26, 40, 48, 67

witnesses, 3, 7, 22

work, returning to, 64, 71

x rays, 3, 15


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