Children respond to trauma in 

many different ways. Some may 

have reactions very soon after the 

event; others may do fine for weeks 

or months, and then begin to show 

troubling behavior. Knowing the 

signs that are common at different 

ages can help parents and teachers 

recognize problems and respond 

appropriately.

Preschool Age

Children ages 1–5 find it 

particularly hard to adjust to 

change and loss. These youngsters 

have not yet developed their own 

coping skills, so they must depend 

on parents, family members, and 

teachers to help them through 

difficult times.

Very young children may regress 

to an earlier behavioral stage 

after a violent or traumatic 

event. Preschoolers may resume 

thumbsucking or bedwetting, or 

may become afraid of strangers, 

animals, darkness, or “monsters.” 

They may cling to a parent or 

teacher, or become very attached to 

a place where they feel safe.

Changes in eating and sleeping 

habits are common, as are 

unexplainable aches and pains. 

Other symptoms to watch for 

are disobedience, hyperactivity, 

speech difficulties, and aggressive or 

withdrawn behavior. Preschoolers 

may tell exaggerated stories about 

the traumatic event or may refer to 

it repeatedly.

Early Childhood

Children ages 5–11 may have 

some of the same reactions that 

younger children have. They also 

may withdraw from playgroups 

and friends, compete more for the 

attention of parents, fear going to 

school, allow school performance to 

drop, become aggressive, or find it 

hard to concentrate. These children 

also may return to more childish 

behaviors, such as asking to be fed or 

dressed.

Adolescence

Children ages 12–14 are likely to 

have vague physical complaints 

when under stress, and may 

abandon chores, school work, 

or other responsibilities they 

previously handled. Though 

they may compete vigorously 

for attention from parents and 

teachers, they also may withdraw, 

resist authority, become disruptive 

at home or in the classroom, or 

begin to experiment with high-risk 

behaviors such as alcohol or 

drug use.

Traumatic events, such as 

shootings, bombings, or other 

violent acts, can leave children 

feeling frightened, confused, 

and insecure.

Whether a child has personally 

experienced trauma, has seen 

the event on television, or 

has merely heard it discussed 

by adults, it is important for 

parents and educators to be 

informed and ready to help if 

stress reactions begin to occur.

· U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

Center for Mental Health Services

www.samhsa.gov

A Guide for Parents and Educators

Tips for Talking to Children and Youth After Traumatic Events
These young people are at a developmental stage in which the opinions of others are 

very important. They need to be thought of as “normal” by their friends and are less 

concerned about relating well with adults or participating in family activities they once 

enjoyed.

In later adolescence, teens may experience feelings of helplessness and guilt because 

they are unable to assume full adult responsibilities as the community responds to the 

traumatic event. Older teens may deny the extent of their reactions to the traumatic 

event. 

How to Help

Reassurance is the key to helping children through a traumatic time. Very young 

children need a lot of cuddling, as well as verbal support. Answer questions about the 

event honestly, but do not dwell on frightening details or allow the subject to dominate 

family or classroom time indefinitely. Encourage children of all ages to express emotions 

through conversation, writing, or artwork and to find a way to help others who were 

affected by the event. 

Try to maintain a normal household or classroom routine, and encourage children 

to participate in recreational activity. Temporarily reduce your expectations 

about performance in school or at home, perhaps by substituting less demanding 

responsibilities for normal chores.

Acknowledge that you, too, may have reactions associated with the traumatic event, and 

take steps to promote your own physical and emotional healing.

Tips for Talking to Children After a Traumatic Event

Provide children with opportunities to talk about what they are seeing on television 

and to ask questions.

Do not be afraid to admit that you cannot answer all of their questions.

Answer questions at a level the child can understand.

Provide ongoing opportunities for children to talk. They probably will have more 

questions as time goes on.

Use this as an opportunity to establish a family emergency plan. Feeling that there is 

something you can do may be very comforting to both children and adults.

Allow children to discuss other fears and concerns about unrelated issues. This is a 

good opportunity to explore these issues also.

Monitor children’s television watching. Some parents may wish to limit their child’s 

exposure to graphic or troubling scenes. To the extent possible, be present when your 

child is watching news coverage of the event. It is at these times that questions might 

arise.

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Helpful Resources

National Mental Health Information Center

Toll-Free: 1-800-789-2647 (English and Español) 

TDD: 1-866-889-2647

Web Site: www.mentalhealth.samhsa.gov

National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug 

Information

Toll-Free: 1-800-729-6686 (English and Español) 

TDD: 1-800-487-4889

Web Site: www.ncadi.samhsa.gov

Treatment Locators

Mental Health Services Locator

Toll-Free: 1-800-789-2647 (English and Español)

TDD: 1-866-889-2647

Web Site: www.mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/databases

Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator

Toll-Free: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (24/7 English and 

Español)

TDD: 1-800-487-4889

Web Site: www.findtreatment.samhsa.gov

Hotlines

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Toll-Free: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

TTY: 1-800-799-4TTY (4889)

Web Site: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Office for Victims of Crime

Toll-Free: 1-800-851-3420

TTY: 1-877-712-9279

Web Site: www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc/ovcres/welcome.html

Other Resources

National Child Traumatic Stress Network

Web Site: www.nctsn.org

National Association of School Psychologists

Phone: (301) 657-0270

Web Site: www.nasponline.org/NEAT

National Center for Children Exposed to Violence

Phone: (203) 785-7047

Toll-Free: 1-877-49-NCCEV (496-2238)

Fax: (203) 785-4608

Web Site: www.nccev.org/violence/children_terrorism.htm

Note: Inclusion of a resource in this fact sheet does not imply 

endorsement by the Center for Mental Health Services, the 

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 

or the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. 

KEN–01–0091/KEN–01–0093

Revised 04/07

Help children understand that there are no bad 

emotions and that a wide range of reactions is 

normal. Encourage children to express their feelings 

to adults (including teachers and parents) who can 

help them understand their sometimes strong and 

troubling emotions.

Be careful not to scapegoat or generalize about any 

particular cultural or ethnic group. Try not to focus 

on blame.

In addition to the tragic things they see, help children 

identify good things, such as heroic actions, families 

who unite and share support, and the assistance 

offered by people throughout the community.

When Talking Isn’t Enough

For some children more active interventions may be 

required, particularly if they were more directly affected 

by the traumatic event.

The family, as a unit, might consider counseling. 

Traumatic events often reawaken a child’s fear of loss 

of parents (frequently a child’s greatest fear) at a time 

when parents may be preoccupied with their own 

practical and emotional difficulties.

Families may choose to permit temporary regressive 

behavior. Several arrangements may help children 

separate gradually after the agreed-upon time limit: 

spending extra time with parents immediately before 

bedtime, leaving the child’s bedroom door slightly 

ajar, and using a nightlight.

Many parents have their own fears of leaving a child 

alone after a traumatic event or other fears they may 

be unable to acknowledge. Parents often are more 

able to seek help on the children’s behalf and may, in 

fact, use the children’s problems as a way of asking for 

help for themselves and other family members.

Teachers also can help children with art and play 

activities, as well as by encouraging group discussions 

in the classroom and informational presentations 

about the traumatic event.

Note: Some of the information in this brochure was gathered 

from a brochure developed by Project Heartland—a project of the 

Oklahoma Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse 

Services in response to the 1995 bombing of the Murrah Federal 

Building in Oklahoma City. Project Heartland was developed 

with funds from the Federal Emergency Management Agency in 

consultation with the Federal Center for Mental Health Services.

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