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Tips for Families of Returning Disaster Responders: 

ADJUSTING TO LIFE AT HOME 

It is a process of reconnection for you and all those connected to your loved one.

Toll-Free: 1-877-SAMHSA-7 (1-877-726-4727) | Info@samhsa.hhs.gov | http://store.samhsa.gov 1

Introduction

Increasing attention is being paid to the 

challenges that emergency and disaster 

responders face as they perform their work 

and then return to their loved ones and normal 

routine. As the family member of a response 

worker, you have faced your own challenges in 

keeping your household functioning while your 

loved one was away. This tip sheet contains 

useful information to help you reunite with a loved 

one who has returned home after an assignment. 

Returning Home

Reunions following disaster assignments away 

from home are usually eagerly anticipated by 

all. While they can sometimes be harder than we 

expect, they can be effectively managed. When 

welcoming a loved one who is returning from 

disaster response work, keep the following in mind:

 Homecoming is more than an event; it is a 

process of reconnection for you and all those 

connected to your loved one.

Even though coming home represents a return 

to safety, security, and “normality” for your 

loved one, the routines and pace at home are 

markedly different than life in a disaster zone. 

In your loved one’s absence, you and 

other household members have likely 

Before your loved one returns to work and traditional 

duties, you can help remind him or her to address 

some basic needs that are often neglected during 

disaster response work. You can help your returning 

loved ones in the following ways:

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Encourage them to get adequate rest.

Remind them to maintain a healthy diet and exercise 

routine, even if it’s just walking.

Suggest they spend relaxation time with family

and friends.

Remind them of the importance of staying healthy and 

seeking medical care as needed.

Help them catch up on neglected daily personal 

tasks (e.g., paying bills, mowing the lawn, shopping 

for groceries).

Ask them to reflect upon what the experience meant 

personally and professionally.

assumed many roles and functions that may 

now need to change. Be patient during this 

period and recognize that many routines may 

not return—at least immediately—to what they 

were like previously.

 It may be helpful to take time to reconnect 

with your returning loved one before inviting 

your larger social circle to visit. Take the time 

you need first. 
TIPS FOR FAMILIES OF RETURNING DISASTER RESPONDERS:

ADJUSTING TO LIFE AT HOME 

2 Toll-Free: 1-877-SAMHSA-7 (1-877-726-4727) | Info@samhsa.hhs.gov | http://store.samhsa.gov

Adjusting to Life at Home

Some other things to keep in mind while 

adjusting to the return of a loved one include

the following:

 Celebrating a homecoming is important 

and should reflect your own style, preferences, 

and traditions.

Asking your returning loved one to refrain 

from discussing graphic, gruesome, and 

highly distressing details will help to 

avoid upsetting or traumatizing others. 

This is especially important when discussing 

the experience with, or in the presence of, 

children. Consider sharing the more positive 

aspects of your experience.

Talking about disaster experiences is a 

personal and delicate subject for both 

you and your loved one. Many people 

prefer to limit sharing such experiences with 

only a coworker or close friend. Often the 

need or desire to talk about the disaster 

experience will vary over time. Let your 

returning loved one take the lead. Listening 

rather than asking questions is the guiding 

rule. You might feel abandonment or anger 

about your loved one having been away, 

which might make it hard for you to listen 

actively and with empathy. These feelings are 

natural and will likely go away over time.

Keeping your social calendar fairly free 

and flexible for the first few weeks after 

the homecoming is important. Respect

the need for time alone and time with 

significant others, especially children.

SIGNS OF STRESS

Below is a list of some of the common signs of stress 

to look for in your returning loved one. These are 

normal reactions to working in stressful situations, 

but if they persist for more than two weeks or worsen, 

professional help may be needed. Contact your 

primary care physician or seek assistance from a 

trusted mental health professional. Please also refer

to the next section of this tip sheet, titled When To

Seek Help.

 Anxiety, restlessness, fear

Insomnia or other sleep problems

Fatigue

Recurring dreams or nightmares or intrusive thoughts

Stomach or gastrointestinal upset/appetite change

Heart palpitations/fluttering

Preoccupation with the disaster events or people 

they helped 

Sadness and crying easily, hopelessness, or despair

Hyper-vigilance; easily startled

Irritability, anger, resentment, increased conflicts

with friends/family

Overly critical and blaming others or self

Grief, guilt, self-doubt 

Increased use of alcohol or other drugs, misuse of 

prescription medication

Isolation or social withdrawal

Morbid humor

Decision-making difficulties

Confusion between trivial and major issues

Concentration problems/distractibility

Job- or school-related problems

Decreased libido/sexual interest

Decreased immune response (e.g., frequent colds, 

coughs, other illnesses)

Explain to those who may feel slighted that 

this is a strong recommendation for returning 

disaster responders.

 Allowing your loved one an adjustment 

period will help him or her to adapt 

physically to the local time zone as well as to 

environmental changes, such as temperature, 

continuous noise, or interruptions.
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TIPS FOR FAMILIES OF RETURNING DISASTER RESPONDERS:

ADJUSTING TO LIFE AT HOME 

Toll-Free: 1-877-SAMHSA-7 (1-877-726-4727) | Info@samhsa.hhs.gov | http://store.samhsa.gov

 Engaging in activities you enjoyed doing 

together, such as playing games, shopping 

for food, sharing favorite meals, and other 

activities can help you reconnect. 

Knowing that your children’s reactions 

may not be what you or your returning 

loved one may have expected or desired 

is important. Very often children will act shy 

at first. They may withdraw or act angry as a 

response to their parent’s absence. Be patient 

and understanding concerning these reactions 

and give children time to get reacquainted.

Being flexible with your homecoming 

expectations will allow you to share time 

without placing too much pressure on 

anyone. It is normal to experience some 

disappointment or letdown when the 

homecoming is not what you had hoped. 

The reality of homecomings and reunions 

seldom matches one’s ideas or desires.

Each day may be different and bring with it new 

or recurring challenges. With time, patience, and 

the use of available resources, a positive outcome 

can be achieved.

When To Seek Help

Remember, post-assignment stress responses 

like those listed in this tip sheet are generally 

common reactions to traumatic situations like 

disasters. However, the following symptoms 

are signs of severe stress, or could indicate a 

medical emergency. If your loved one experiences 

these symptoms, seek the help of a primary care 

physician or mental health professional. You 

can also download the SAMHSA Behavioral 

Health Disaster Response Mobile App and 

access resources specific to all deployment 

phases, including tips for re-entry (for responders, 

supervisors, and family members). The Helpful 

Resources section at the end of this tip sheet 

contains links to help you find a licensed mental 

health or substance abuse clinician. 

Signs of when to seek help are as follows:

 Disorientation (e.g., having a “dazed” feeling, 

experiencing memory loss, not being able to 

give date/time or recall recent events)

 Significant depression (e.g., pervasive feeling 

of sadness, feeling alone and without the 

ability to experience any joy in living)

Suicidal (e.g., pervasive feelings of 

hopelessness and despair) or homicidal 

thoughts or plans

Anxiety (e.g., constantly on edge, restless, 

obsessive fear of another disaster)

Acute psychiatric symptoms (e.g., hearing 

voices, seeing visions, having delusional 

thinking)

Inability to care for self (e.g., not eating, 

bathing, changing clothing) 

Problematic use of alcohol or drugs, misuse 

of prescription medication

Domestic violence, child abuse, or elder abuse

Signs of Positive Change 

Even though they may be experiencing some 

signs of stress, many returning disaster 

responders may also exhibit positive changes 

from the experience, such as the following:

 Not taking life for granted—living life to

the fullest.

Becoming more understanding and tolerant.

Having increased appreciation for 

relationships and loved ones. 

Being grateful for what they have.

Having an improved “perspective.”

Experiencing enhanced spiritual connection.
TIPS FOR FAMILIES OF RETURNING DISASTER RESPONDERS:

ADJUSTING TO LIFE AT HOME 

4 Toll-Free: 1-877-SAMHSA-7 (1-877-726-4727) | Info@samhsa.hhs.gov | http://store.samhsa.gov

Helpful Resources 

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services 

Administration Disaster Technical Assistance 

Center (SAMHSA DTAC)

Toll-Free: 1-800-308-3515

Website: http://www.samhsa.gov/dtac

SAMHSA Behavioral Health Disaster Response Mobile App

Website: http://store.samhsa.gov/product/PEP13-DKAPP-1

Administration for Children and Families* 

Website: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention—

Mental Health*

Website: http://www.bt.cdc.gov/mentalhealth

Department of Veterans Affairs*

National Center for Posttraumatic Stress 

Disorder (PTSD)

PTSD Information Voicemail: 1-802-296-6300

Website: http://www.ptsd.va.gov 

Treatment Locators

Mental Health Treatment Facility Locator

Toll-Free: 1-800-789-2647 (English and español) 

TDD: 1-866-889-2647

Website: http://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/MHTreatmentLocator

MentalHealth.gov

Website: http://www.mentalhealth.gov

MentalHealth.gov provides U.S. government information 

and resources on mental health. 

Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator

Toll-Free: 1-800-662-HELP (1-800-662-4357) 

(24/7 English and español); TDD: 1-800-487-4889

Website: http://www.findtreatment.samhsa.gov

Hotline

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Toll-Free: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)

TTY: 1-800-799-4TTY (1-800-799-4889)

Website: http://www.samhsa.gov

This resource can be found by accessing the Suicide 

Prevention Lifeline box once on the SAMHSA website.

*Note: Inclusion of a resource in this fact sheet does not imply endorsement by 

the Center for Mental Health Services, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health 

Services Administration, or the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Multiple Disaster Response 

Assignments

Responders may be called to another disaster 

assignment after only a short time home. This 

can be challenging and stressful for everybody. 

It is natural to feel sad, even to cry. You have 

reconnected once again and begun to establish 

routines. Try to understand if your loved 

one distances him- or herself physically or 

emotionally in preparation for leaving. 

At the time of departure, it is important that 

you let your loved one know how proud you 

are of his or her sacrifice and commitment. 

Expressing pride while saying goodbye is 

positive and can help strengthen everyone.

If you or someone you know is 

struggling after a disaster, 

you are not alone.

WEB: http://disasterdistress.samhsa.gov

Call 1-800-985-5990 or 

text “TalkWithUs” to 66746 

to get help and support 24/7.

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HHS Publication No. SMA-14-4872

(Revised 2014; previously NMH05-0220)