National Cancer Institute

When Your 

Parent

Has Cancer

A Guide for Teens

U.S. DEPARTMENT 

OF HEALTH AND 

HUMAN SERVICES

National Institutes 

of Health

This booklet is 

for you

If your mom, dad, or an adult 

close to you has cancer, this 

booklet is for you. 

Here you can read about what 

has helped other teens get 

through this tough time. 

Doctors, nurses, social 

workers, friends, and family 

are working hard to help your 

mom or dad get better. 

You are a very important part 

of that team, too. 

In the weeks and months ahead, 

you may feel a whole range of 

emotions. Some days will be good, 

and things might seem like they 

used to. Other days may be harder.

This booklet can help prepare you 

for some of the things you might 

face. It can also help you learn 

to handle living with a parent or 

relative who has cancer. 

Acknowledgments

We would like to thank the many teens, health care providers, 

and scientists who helped to develop and review this booklet.

Get free copies of 

this booklet from 

our Web site: 

www.cancer.gov/publications

or by calling 

NCI’s Cancer 

Information Service 

at 1-800-4-CANCER 

(1-800-422-6237).
How to use this booklet 

You may want to read this booklet cover to cover. Or maybe you’ll 

just read those sections that interest you most. Some teens pull 

the booklet out now and again when they need it.

You may want to share this booklet with your mom, dad, brothers, 

and sisters. It might help you bring up something that has been 

on your mind. You could ask people in your family to read a certain 

chapter and then talk about it together later.

We’ve put words that may be new to you in bold. Turn to the 

glossary at the back of this booklet for their definitions. 

HERE MOM— 

TAKE A LOOK 

AT THIS. 

LET’S 

SEE. 

Wherever you go,

go with all your heart.

—Confucius
iii

Table of contents

Chapter 1 

You’ve just learned that your 

parent has cancer

page 1

Chapter 2 

Learning about cancer

page 9

Chapter 3 

Cancer treatment

page 13

Chapter 4 

What your parent may 

be feeling

page 21

Chapter 5 

Changes in your family

page 23

Chapter 6

Taking care of yourself

page 31

Chapter 7 

Finding support

page 37

HOW ABOUT SOME COMPANY? 

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE THERE 

MUST BE SOMETHING 

WRONG WITH ME. 

LET’S TALK 

ABOUT IT. 
Chapter 8

You and your friends

page 43

Chapter 9

How you can help your parent

page 47

Chapter 10

After treatment

page 51

Chapter 11

The road ahead

page 57

Chapter 12

Learning more on your own

page 59

Chart a

Cancer team members

page 63

Chart b

Monitoring tests

page 64

Glossary

page 66

However long the night, 
1

 Chapter 1

You’ve just learned that your 

parent has cancer

You’ve just learned 

that one of the most 

important people in 

your life has cancer. 

Do you feel shocked, 

numb, angry, or afraid? 

Do you feel like life is 

unfair? One thing is 

certain—you don’t 

feel good. 

For now, 

try to focus 

on these facts: 

Many people survive cancer. There are about 12 million 

cancer survivors living in the U.S. today. That’s because 

scientists are discovering new and better ways to find and 

treat cancer. During this really tough time, it will help you to 

have hope.

You’re not alone. Right now it might seem that no one 

else in the world feels the way you do. In a way you’re right. 

No one can feel exactly like you do. But it might help to 

know that many teens have a parent who has cancer. 

Talking to others may help you sort out your feelings. 

Remember, you are not alone.

the dawn will break. —African proverb

“I knew something was wrong 

the minute I walked in the 

kitchen. My mom was so quiet. 

Then Mom told me she has 

cancer. I felt like I was going to 

faint. I could barely hold the 

tears back. I felt so scared. I 

ran to my room and just sat on 

the bed for the longest time. I 

called my best friend and kind 

of lost it. —Sarah, age 16
2

You’re not to blame. Cancer is a disease with various 

causes, many of which doctors don’t fully understand. None 

of these causes has anything to do with what you’ve done, 

thought, or said. 

Balance is important. Many teens feel like their parent’s 

cancer is always on their mind. Others try to avoid it. Try to 

strike a balance. You can be concerned about your parent 

and still stay connected with people and activities that 

you care about. 

Knowledge is power. It can help to learn more about 

cancer and cancer treatments. Sometimes what you imagine 

is actually worse than the reality.

“I used to be a real easygoing, 

happy person. Since my dad 

got cancer I started blowing up 

over little things. My counselor 

at school got me in a group of 

kids who have a mom or dad 

with cancer. Meeting with kids 

who are going through the 

same thing helps a lot.” 

—Aaron, age 14
3

Your feelings

As you deal with your parent’s cancer, you’ll probably feel all kinds 

of things. Many other teens who have a parent with cancer have 

felt the same way you do now. Some of these emotions are listed 

below. Think about people you can talk with about your feelings. 

Check off the feelings 

you have:

n My world is falling apart.

n I’m afraid that my parent might die.

n I’m afraid that someone else in my family might catch 

cancer. (They can’t.)

n I’m afraid that something might happen to my parent at 

home, and I won’t know what to do.

It’s normal to feel scared when your parent has cancer. Some of 

your fears may be real. Others may be based on things that won’t 

happen. And some fears may lessen over time. 

n I feel guilty because I’m healthy and my parent is sick. 

n I feel guilty when I laugh and have fun.

You may feel bad about having fun when your parent 

is sick. However, having fun doesn’t mean that you 

care any less. In fact, it will probably help your parent 

to see you doing things you enjoy.

scared guilty
4

n	I am mad that my mom or dad got sick.

n	I am upset at the doctors.

n	I am angry at God for letting 

this happen.

n	I am angry at myself for feeling 

the way I do.

Anger often covers up other feelings that are harder to show. 

Try not to let your anger build up. 

n	I feel left out. 

n	I don’t get any attention. 

n	No one ever tells me what’s going on.

n	My family never talks anymore. 

When a parent has cancer, it’s common for the family’s focus to 

change. Some people in the family may feel left out. Your parent 

with cancer may be using his or her energy to get better. Your 

well parent may be focused on helping your parent with cancer. 

Your parents don’t mean for you to feel left out. It just happens 

because so much is going on. angry neglected

When you come to the end of your rope, 
5

n	No one understands what I’m going through. 

n	My friends don’t come over anymore.

n	My friends don’t seem to know 

what to say to me anymore. 

We look at some things you can do to help 

situations with friends in Chapter 8. For now, 

try to remember that these feelings won’t last forever. 

n	I’m sometimes embarrassed to be out in public 

with my sick parent.

n	I don’t know how to answer people’s questions. 

Many teens who feel embarrassed about 

having a parent with cancer say it gets easier 

to deal with over time. 

What you’re feeling is normal

There is no one “right” way to feel. And you’re not alone—many 

other teens in your situation have felt the same way. Some have 

said that having a parent with cancer changes the way they look at 

things in life. Some even said that it made them stronger. lonely embarrassed

tie a knot and hang on. —Franklin D. Roosevelt
6

Dealing with your feelings

A lot of people are uncomfortable sharing their feelings. They 

ignore them and hope they’ll go away. Other people choose to act 

cheerful when they’re really not. They think that by acting upbeat 

they won’t feel sad or angry anymore. This may help for a little 

while, but not over the long run. Actually, holding your feelings 

inside can keep you from getting the help you need. 

Try these tips:

Talk with family and friends who you feel close to. 

You owe it to yourself.

Write down your thoughts in a journal.

Join a support group to talk with other teens who are 

facing some of the same things you are. Or meet with a 

counselor. We’ll learn more about these ideas in Chapter 7. 

It is probably hard to imagine right now, but, if you let yourself, 

you can grow stronger as a person through this experience.

“Sometimes what 

helped me the most 

was to run or 

kickbox until 

I was exhausted.” 

—Jed, age 16
7

“I just kept telling myself 

that I was going to let 

this experience make me—

not break me.” 

—Lydia, age 16

Does this sound like you?

Many kids think that they need to protect their 

parents by not making them worry. They think that 

they have to be perfect and not cause any trouble because one of 

their parents is sick. If you feel this way, remember that no one 

can be perfect all the time. You need time to vent, to feel sad, and 

to be happy. Try to let your parents know how you feel—even if 

you have to start the conversation.

?
8

“After Dad got cancer, my big sister always 

seemed to be making excuses to get out of the 

house. One day, I just told her off. Instead of 

getting mad, she started crying. She said she 

couldn’t stand seeing Dad hurting. I told her I 

felt the same way. Now we talk more and keep 

each other going. It’s good.” —Jamie, age 13

Experience is what you get 

 by not having it 

when you need it.

 —Anonymous
9

Chapter 2

Learning about cancer

Learning about 

cancer will help you 

understand what 

your parent is going 

through. Knowing 

more about cancer 

and how it’s treated 

can take some of the 

fear away. Some of 

what you have seen 

or heard about cancer 

may not apply to your 

parent. Most people 

feel better when they 

know what to expect. 

Here are a few things to remember:

Nothing you did, thought, or said caused your 

parent to get cancer.

You can’t catch cancer from another person.

Scientists are discovering new and better ways 

to find and treat cancer.

Many people survive cancer.

“When Dad told me he had cancer, 

I got really scared. Everything 

I’d always heard about cancer 

was just terrible. Then I thought, 

‘Hey, what do I really know about 

cancer?’ The answer was, ‘Not 

much.’ So I started reading books 

and stuff on the Internet. My dad 

even told me that some of what I 

found on the Web wasn’t right for 

the kind of cancer he has. Cancer is 

still pretty scary, but I’ve learned 

that people survive it. I’m not so 

afraid anymore.” —Abdul, age 14
10

What is cancer? 

Doctors have found more than 100 different types of cancer. 

Cancer is a group of many related diseases that begin in cells, the 

body’s basic unit of life. To understand cancer, it’s helpful to know 

what happens when normal cells become cancer cells. 

Normally, cells grow and divide to make more cells only when 

the body needs them. This orderly process helps keep the body 

healthy. Sometimes, however, cells keep dividing when new cells 

aren’t needed. These extra cells form a mass of tissue called a 

growth, or tumor. Tumors can be benign or malignant. Some 

cancers do not form a tumor. For example, leukemia is a cancer 

of the bone marrow and blood. 

Benign tumors aren’t cancer. They can often be removed 

and don’t spread to other parts of the body. 

Malignant tumors are cancer. Cells in these tumors are 

abnormal and divide and grow without control or order. They 

can invade and damage nearby tissues and also spread to 

organs in other parts of the body. The spread of cancer from 

one part of the body to another is called metastasis. 

NORMAL CELLS

ABNORMAL CELLS
11

Most cancers are named for the organ or type of cell in which 

they begin. For example, cancer that begins in the lung is called 

lung cancer. 

Why do people get cancer? 

The causes of most cancers are not known. Scientists are still 

learning about things that may put people at a higher risk for 

certain types of cancer. Risk factors for cancer include age, a 

family history of certain cancers, use of tobacco products, being 

exposed to radiation or certain chemicals, infection with certain 

viruses or bacteria, and certain genetic changes. 

Although no one can tell the future, it is good to keep in mind 

that most cancers are not passed down from parent to child. 

That is, they are not inherited. However, a family history of 

cancer can sometimes be a risk factor. It may help to talk with 

your parent or a doctor to learn more about the kind of cancer 

that your parent has.

Can doctors cure cancer?

Every year scientists discover better ways to treat cancer. That 

means many people are successfully treated for cancer. However, 

doctors are careful not to use the word “cure” until a patient 

remains free of cancer for several years. Cancer treatment may 

cause a remission, which means that the doctor can’t find signs 

of cancer. But sometimes the cancer comes back. This is called 

a relapse or recurrence. Whether your parent can be cured 

of cancer depends on many things, and no booklet can tell you 

exactly what to expect. It is best to talk with your parent and his 

or her doctor or nurse. 
12

?

Where to go for more information

To learn more and get answers to your questions, 

you can contact NCI through its: 

•	 Web site: www.cancer.gov

•	 Phone: 1-800-4-CANCER (1-800-422-6237)

Monday through Friday, 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. Eastern Time 

•	 Online Chat: www.cancer.gov/livehelp

Monday through Friday, 8:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. Eastern Time

•	 E-mail: cancergovstaff@mail.nih.gov

All of our services are free and confidential.

Courage is the first of human qualities

because it is the quality which 

 guarantees the others.

 —Aristotle
13

Chapter 3

Cancer treatment

Many teens want to know 

what to expect during their 

parent’s cancer treatment. 

This chapter briefly explains 

different treatments, how 

they work, and their side 

effects. You will probably 

have more questions after 

reading this chapter. It may 

help to talk with your parents 

or ask if you can talk with a 

nurse or social worker.

How does 

treatment work?

Cancer treatment aims to destroy cancer cells or stop them from 

growing. The type of treatment your parent will be given depends on: 

The type of cancer

Whether the cancer has spread

Your parent’s age and general health

Your parent’s medical history

Whether the cancer is newly diagnosed or is a recurrence

Remember that there are more than 100 different types of 

cancer. Each type is treated differently. For information about 

the people who will be treating your parent, see Chart A in the 

back of this booklet.

“Seeing my dad in pain 

was the worst. One day 

I just told him how bad 

I felt for him. He said 

that he actually looked 

a lot worse than he 

felt. I know he’s having 

a hard time, but knowing 

he doesn’t hurt as much 

as I thought he did made 

me feel a lot better.” 

—Ashley, age 15
14

What are treatment side effects?

Cancer treatments destroy cancer cells, but they may also harm 

healthy tissues or organs in the process. This harm, or problem, 

is called a side effect. Some side effects, like feeling sick to the 

stomach, go away shortly after treatment, but others, like feeling 

tired, may last for a while after treatment has ended. Some people 

have few side effects from cancer treatment, while others have more. 

Side effects vary from person to person, even among people 

who are receiving the same treatment. Your parent’s doctor 

will explain what side effects your parent may have, and how to 

manage them.

Write down what treatment your mom or dad will get:

__________________________________________________

__________________________________________________

__________________________________________________

__________________________________________________

__________________________________________________

__________________________________________________

__________________________________________________

__________________________________________________

Use the chart on the next two pages to find out more about 

different types of cancer treatment.
15

TREATMENT CHART

This chart describes six types of cancer treatment, how they’re done, and 

some side effects. Your parent may get one or more of these treatments. 

Depending on the exact treatment, he or she may visit the doctor during 

the day, or stay overnight in the hospital. 

Treatment What is it? How is it 

done?

What may happen 

as a result? 

(side effects)

Surgery

Also called an 

operation

The removal of 

a solid tumor

A surgeon 

operates to 

remove the 

tumor. Drugs are 

used so that the 

patient is asleep 

during surgery.

•	 Pain after the

surgery

•	 Feeling tired

•	 Other side effects

depend on the 

area of the body 

and the extent of 

the operation

Radiation 

therapy

Also called 

radiotherapy

The use of 

high-energy 

rays or 

high-energy 

particles to kill 

cancer cells 

and shrink 

tumors

Radiation may 

come from a 

machine outside 

the body or 

from radioactive 

material placed 

in the body near 

the cancer cells.

•	 Feeling tired

•	 Red or sore skin

•	 Other side effects

depend on the 

area of the body 

and the dose of 

radiation

Chemotherapy

Also called 

chemo

The use of 

medicine 

to destroy 

cancer cells

The medicine 

can be given 

as a pill, as an 

injection (shot), 

or through an 

intravenous

(IV) line. 

It is often 

given in cycles 

that alternate 

between 

treatment and 

rest periods.

•	 Feeling sick to

the stomach or 

throwing up

•	 Diarrhea or

constipation

•	 Hair loss

•	 Feeling very tired

•	 Mouth sores

Treatment chart continues on next page.
16

TREATMENT CHART (continued from previous page)

Treatment What is it? How is it done? What may 

happen as 

a result? 

(side effects)

Stem cell

transplantation

Can be a 

bone marrow 

transplantation 

(BMT) or a 

peripheral 

blood stem cell 

transplantation 

(PBSCT)

The use of

stem cells found 

in either the 

bone marrow or 

the blood. This 

repairs stem 

cells that were 

destroyed by high 

doses of chemo 

and/or radiation 

therapy.

Stem cell

transplantation 

uses stem cells 

from the patient 

or from donors. 

In many cases 

the donors are 

family members. 

The patient gets 

these stem cells 

through an 

IV line.

The side effects 

can be much 

like those 

from chemo 

and radiation 

therapy. In 

some cases, the 

side effects may 

be more serious.

Hormone 

therapy

A treatment

that adds, blocks, 

or removes 

hormones. 

Hormone therapy

is used to slow or 

stop the growth 

of some types of 

cancer.

Hormone therapy

can be given 

as a pill, as an 

injection, or 

through a patch 

worn on the 

skin. Sometimes

surgery is needed 

to remove the 

glands that 

make specific 

hormones.

•	 Feeling hot

•	 Feeling tired

•	 Weight

changes

•	 Mood changes

Biological 

therapy

Also called 

immunotherapy

Biological

therapy uses 

the body’s own 

defense system 

(the immune 

system) to 

fight cancer.

Patients may be

given medicine 

in pills, as an 

injection, or 

through an 

IV line.

Flu-like 

symptoms 

such as: 

•	 Chills

•	 Fever

•	 Muscle aches

•	 Weakness

•	 Feeling sick

to the 

stomach or 

throwing up

•	 Diarrhea
17

In addition to getting one or more cancer treatments, your parent 

will also get tests to find out how well the cancer is responding to 

treatment. A list of common tests can be found in Chart B in the 

back of this booklet.

Things to look for

Some treatments may make your parent more likely to get an 

infection. This happens because cancer treatment can affect the 

white blood cells, which are the cells that fight infection. An infection 

can make your mom or dad sicker. So your parent may need to stay 

away from crowded places or people who have an illness that he or 

she could catch (such as a cold, the flu, or chicken pox).

You may need to:

Wash your hands often with soap and water, or use a hand 

sanitizer, to keep from spreading germs.

Avoid bringing home friends who are sick or have a cold.

Stay away from your parent if you are sick or have a fever.

Talk with your parent if you aren’t sure what to do.

The waiting

It’s hard to wait to see whether the treatment will work. Your 

parent’s doctor may try one treatment, then another. One day 

your parent may feel a lot better. The next day or week he or she 

may feel sick again. Treatment can go on for months or sometimes 

years. This emotional roller coaster is hard on everyone. 
18

Who can answer my other questions?

Ask your parent or other trusted adults any questions that 

you have. Ask your dad or mom if it is okay to go with them to 

their appointment. 

Perhaps your parent can arrange for you to talk with their doctor, 

nurse, or social worker to learn more. It will help to bring a list of 

questions with you.

When you talk with them, don’t hesitate to:

Ask what new words mean. Ask for information to be 

explained in another way, if what the doctor says is confusing.

Ask to see a model or a picture of what the doctor is 

talking about. Ask what videos or podcasts you can watch 

to learn more.

Ask about support groups for young people that meet online 

or in your community. 

“I had questions but didn’t 

know who to talk to. I asked 

my mom if I could go with 

her to her doctor’s visit, 

and she said yes. The first time I just sat 

there. The next time the doctor asked if I had 

questions—so I asked a couple. It was easier 

than I thought it would be.” —Katie, age 14
19

Questions you might want to ask

•	 What kind of cancer does my parent have?

•	 Will my parent get better?

•	 Does this kind of cancer run in families?

Questions about the treatment

•	 What kind of treatment will my parent get? Will my

parent get more than one type of treatment?

•	 How does the treatment work?

•	 How do people feel when they get this treatment?

Does it hurt?

•	 How often isthistreatment given? How long willtreatmenttake?

•	 Does the treatment change how people look, feel, or act?

•	 What if this treatment doesn’t work?

•	 Where is the treatment given? Can I go along?

Here’s space to write down your own questions:

_________________________________________________

_________________________________________________

_________________________________________________

_________________________________________________

_________________________________________________

It’s okay to ask these questions more than once.

?

?
20

Want to visit?

If your parent is 

in the hospital, 

you may be nervous 

about visiting. Learn 

ahead of time how 

your parent is doing 

and what to expect. 

Remember that they are 

still the same person, 

even though they are 

sick. Don’t be afraid to 

ask your parent questions 

and share your thoughts. 

You can also call, write, and 

e-mail them.

“I really wanted to visit, 

but the hospital made me 

nervous. I wasn’t crazy about 

the smell and didn’t like seeing 

Dad hooked up to machines. 

I made excuses not to visit, 

but I missed him too much. 

Then one day a neighbor drove 

me over to the hospital after 

school. I took my homework 

and did some of it there. Dad 

looked happy just watching 

me—and that made me forget 

about how strange it was to be 

in this place.” —Keisha, age 13

Where to go for more information

To learn more about the type of cancer your mom or dad 

has, visit our site (www.cancer.gov). You can also call 

our Cancer Information Service at 1-800-4-cancer

(1-800-422-6237) to talk with an information 

specialist. All calls are free and confidential. 

?
21

Chapter 4

What your parent may be feeling 

Knowing what your parent may be feeling could help you figure 

out how to help, or at least to understand where he or she is 

coming from. You may be surprised to learn that they are feeling a 

lot of the same things you are:

Sad or depressed. People with cancer sometimes can’t do 

things they used to do. They may miss these activities and 

their friends. Feeling sad or down can range from a mild case 

of the blues to depression, which a doctor can treat.

Afraid. Your parent may be afraid of how cancer will change 

his or her life and the lives of family members. He or she may 

be scared about treatment. Your parent may even be scared 

that he or she will die. 

“My mom lost all her hair 

after chemo. She started 

wearing hats. People stared 

at us. I felt really bad that 

I was embarrassed to be with 

her. Then my mom just came 

out and asked me what I was 

thinking. When I told her, she 

said she wasn’t crazy about 

the new bald look either, but 

that she was glad to be alive. 

Now I see my mom first as one 

very brave woman. I don’t 

care who stares.” 

—Ming, age 16
22

Anxious. Your parent may be worried about a lot of things. 

Your mom or dad may feel stressed about going to work 

or paying the bills. Or he or she may be concerned about 

looking different because of treatment. And your mom or 

dad is probably very concerned about how you are doing. 

All these worries may upset your parent. 

Angry. Cancer treatment and its side effects can be difficult 

to go through. Anger sometimes comes from feelings that are 

hard to show, such as fear or frustration. Chances are your 

parent is angry at the disease, not at you.

Lonely. People with cancer often feel lonely or distant from 

others. They may find that their friends have a hard time 

dealing with their cancer and may not visit. They may be too 

sick to take part in activities they used to enjoy. They may 

feel that no one understands what they’re going through. 

Hopeful. There are many reasons for your parent to feel 

hopeful. Millions of people who have had cancer are alive 

today. People with cancer can lead active lives, even during 

treatment. Your parent’s chances of surviving cancer are 

better today than ever before.

All these feelings are normal for people living with cancer. 

You might want to share this list with your mom or dad. 

Do what you can, with what you have, 
where you are. —Theodore Roosevelt 23

Chapter 5

Changes in your family 

Changing routines and responsibilities

Whatever your family situation, chances are that things have 

changed since your parent got sick. This chapter looks at some of 

these changes and ways that other teens have dealt with them.

Does this sound like your home?

?

Are you doing more chores?

Are you spending more time with relatives 

or friends?

Are you home alone more?

Are you asked to help make dinner or do 

the laundry? 

Are you looking after younger brothers or 

sisters more?

Do you want to just hang out with your 

friends when you are needed at home?
24

Let your parents know if you feel that there is more to do than you 

can handle. Together, you can work it out. 

“After Mom got cancer, I got mad at everything. 

It wasn’t fair that I had to watch my little brother 

and clean. I felt like I was going to lose it, but tried 

to stay cool and told my mom how hard things were. 

Now I still have chores, but my little brother goes to 

a friend’s after school, so that I can go to soccer. My 

mom’s awesome. She really understood.” —Brandon, age 15
25

Touching base when things are changing

Families say that it helps to make time to talk together, even if 

it’s only for a short time each week. Talking can help your family 

stay connected. 

Here are some things to consider when talking with: 

Brothers and sisters

If you are the oldest child, your brothers or sisters may look 

to you for support. Help them as much as you can. It’s okay 

to let them know that you’re having a tough time, too.

If you are looking to your older brother or 

sister for help, tell them how you are 

feeling. They can help, but won’t have 

all the answers.

Try saying something like this... 

I am only one, 

but I am one. 

I cannot do 

everything, 

but I can do 

something. 

—Edward Everett Hale

“I’m doing 

the best job I can.” 

“How can we work 

together to get 

through this?”

I KNOW. 

IT’S TOUGH 

FOR ME, 

TOO. 
26

Your parent who is well

•	 Expect your parent to feel some stress, just as you do.

•	 Your parent may snap at you. He or she may

not always do or say the right thing.

•	 Lend a hand when you can.

Try saying something like this...

Your parent with cancer

•	 Your mom or dad may be sick from the treatment or just

very tired. Or maybe your parent will feel okay and want 

your company. 

•	 Try talking if your mom or dad feels up to it.

Let your parent know how much you 

love them.

Try saying something like this...

“How are 

you doing?” 

“Is there anything 

I can do to help 

you out?” 

“I love you.” 

 “Can I get you 

anything?”

When the drumbeat changes, the dance changes. — Nigerian proverb

AM I DOING THE 

RIGHT 

THING? 

HOW ABOUT SOME COMPANY? 
27

Keeping family and friends in the loop

Is it getting to be too much to answer the phone and tell people 

how your mom or dad is doing? That can be a lot for anyone. Ask 

others to help you share news of how your parent is doing and 

what help your family needs. Maybe a relative or family friend 

can be the contact person. Some families use telephone chains. 

Others use e-mail, a blog, or a social media site.

Growing stronger as a family 

Some families can grow 

apart for a while when 

a parent has cancer. 

But there are ways to 

help your family grow 

stronger and closer. 

Teens who saw their 

families grow closer 

say that it happened 

because people in 

their family:

Tried to put themselves in the 

other person’s shoes and thought about how they would 

feel if they were the other person.

Understood that even though people reacted differently 

to situations, they were all hurting. Some cried a lot. Others 

showed little emotion. Some used humor to get by. 

Learned to respect and talk about differences. The more 

they asked about how others were feeling, the more they 

could help each other. 

“I always took my parents’ attention 

for granted. But after Dad got 

sick, nobody paid much attention 

to me. I know everybody has a lot 

to worry about, but it really hurt. 

Finally, I wrote a note to them. 

And they understood! I feel closer 

to my parents now.” —Lisa, age 15
28

Asking others for help 

You and your family may need support from others. It can be hard 

to ask. Yet most of the time people really want to help you and 

your family. 

People who your mom, dad, or you may ask for help:

Aunts, uncles, and grandparents

Family friends

Neighbors

Teachers or coaches

School nurses or guidance counselors

People from your religious community

Your friends or their parents

(Add your own)___________________________________

Things people can do to help:

Go grocery shopping or run errands

Make meals
29

Mow the lawn

Do chores around the house

Keep your parent company

(Add your own)___________________________________

Other ways people can help you and your family:

Give rides to school, practice, or appointments

Help with homework

Invite you over for a meal or a day trip

Talk with and listen to you

(Add your own)___________________________________

Your relationship with your parents

Your mom or dad may ask you to take on more responsibility than 

other kids your age. You might resent it at first. Then again, you 

may learn a lot from the experience and grow to appreciate the 

trust your parents have in you. See Chapter 7 for tips on talking 

with your parents.
30

“I never used to get sick before Mom 

got cancer. But then I started getting 

headaches. My stomach hurt all the time, 

too. I started wondering if something was 

wrong with me. I talked to a nurse, and 

she said that stress can cause a lot of 

that stuff. She gave me some great advice 

and said I could talk with her whenever 

I wanted to. Slowly, I’m feeling better.” 

—Kira, age 15

SOMETIMES 

I FEEL LIKE THERE 

MUST BE SOMETHING 

WRONG WITH ME. 

LET’S TALK 

ABOUT IT. 
31

Chapter 6

Taking care of yourself

It’s important to “stay fit”—both inside and out. This chapter 

offers tips to help you keep on track during this experience.

Dealing with stress

Stress can make you forgetful, frustrated, and more likely to catch 

a cold or the flu. Here are some tips that have helped other teens 

manage stress. Check one or two things to do each week.

Take care of your mind and body

Stay connected.

n Spend some time at a friend’s house. 

n Stay involved with sports or clubs. 

Relax and get enough sleep.

n Take breaks. You’ll have more energy and be in a better 

frame of mind.

n Get at least 8 hours of sleep each night.

n Pray or meditate.

n Make or listen to music.

Help others.

n Join a walk against cancer.

n Plan a bake sale or other charity event to raise

money to fight cancer. 
32

Avoid risky behaviors.

n Stay away from smoking, drinking, and taking drugs. 

Put your creative side to work.

n Keep a journal to write down your thoughts and experiences.

n Draw, paint, or take photographs.

n Read biographies to learn what helped others make it through 

challenging times.

Eat and drink well.

n Drink plenty of water each day.

n In the evening, switch to caffeine-free drinks that won’t 

keep you awake.

n Grab fresh fruit, whole-grain breads, and lean meats like 

chicken or turkey when you have a choice. 

n Avoid sugary foods.
33

Be active.

n Play a sport, or go for a walk or run.

n Learn about different stretching and breathing exercises.

Did you know?

Exercise has been proven to make you feel better. 

Running, swimming, or even walking can help 

improve your mood.

?

The best thing about the future 

is that it comes

 only one day 

 at a time. 

 —Abraham Lincoln
34

Take steps to keep things simple

Staying organized can also keep your stress level under control. 

Here are some tips to get you started.

At home

n Make a list of things you want to do and put the most 

important ones at the top. 

n Make a big calendar to help your family stay on top 

of things.

At school

n Try to get as much done in school as you can. 

n Let your teachers know what’s happening at home, without 

using it as an excuse. 

n Talk to your teachers or a counselor if you are falling behind. 
35

Get help when you feel down and out.

Many teens feel low or down when their parent is sick. It’s 

normal to feel sad or “blue” during difficult times. However, 

if these feelings last for 2 weeks or more and start to interfere 

with things you used to enjoy, you may be depressed. The good 

news is that there is hope and there is help. Often, talking with 

a counselor can help. Below are some signs that you may need 

to see a counselor. 

Are you:

n Feeling helpless and hopeless? Thinking that life has 

no meaning?

n Losing interest in being with family or friends?

n Finding that everything or everyone seems to get on 

your nerves?

n Feeling really angry a lot of the time?

n Thinking of hurting yourself?

Do you find that you are:

n Losing interest in the activities you used to enjoy?

n Eating too little or a lot more than usual?

n Crying easily or many times each day?

n Using drugs or alcohol to help you forget?

n Sleeping more than you used to? Less than you used to?

n Feeling tired a lot? 

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, it’s important to 

talk to someone you trust. Read more about seeing a counselor or 

joining a support group in Chapter 7. 
36

Things weren’t easy between me and 

my dad. We fought about everything. 

After he got cancer, I felt really 

bad. Then the nurse told me about 

this support group. I ended up 

going with a friend. At first I just 

listened. Then I realized they were 

going through some of the same 

things that I was and actually had 

some helpful advice. Dad and I talk 

more now and even laugh about the 

dumb fights we had.” —Alex, age 17

Having a good discussion is like having riches. —Kenyan proverb

DAD, I CAN’T BELIEVE 

WE ARGUED OVER ALL THAT STUFF, 

YOU KNOW? 
37

Chapter 7

Finding support

It may not be easy to reach out for support—but there are people 

who can help you. This chapter has tips to help you talk with your 

parent(s), reach out to a counselor, and/or join a support group. 

Read on to find out what’s worked for other teens. 

Tips for talking with your parent 

Prepare before you talk. 

Step 1: Think about what you want to say. 

Step 2: Think about how your parent might react. How will you 

respond to him or her?

Find a good time and place.

Step 1: Ask your mom or dad if they have a few minutes to talk. 

Step 2: Find a private place—maybe in your room or on the 

front steps. Or maybe you can talk while taking a walk, 

shooting hoops, or doing an activity you both enjoy. 
38

Take things slowly.

Step 1: Don’t expect to solve everything right away. Difficult 

problems often don’t have simple solutions. 

Step 2: Work together to find a way through these challenges. 

Some conversations will go better than others. 

Keep it up.

Step 1: Don’t think you have to have just one big conversation. 

Have lots of small ones.

Step 2: Make time to talk a little each day if you can, even if it’s 

just for a few minutes.

Sometimes... 

talking to friends 

is not enough. 

When you’re having 

a hard time, 

it can be helpful to talk 

with a counselor or 

social worker. 
39

Talking with a counselor

Jena listened to her best friend Renee and planned on talking 

with the counselor at her school. Other kids talk with social 

workers at the hospital. Going to a counselor doesn’t mean you 

are crazy. It shows you have the courage to see that you need help 

to get through a very tough time. 

I‘M NOT GETTING THROUGH TO MY DAD. HE DOESN’T SEEM 

 TO GET IT THAT I’M ALWAYS SAD AND UPSET ABOUT 

 MOM BEING SICK. 

I KNOW, 

RENEE. THIS 

IS PRETTY 

BAD. 

 WELL, WE’VE BEEN TALKING 

ABOUT THIS FOR A FEW MONTHS NOW. 

JENA, YOU KNOW YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND, 

 BUT THINGS DON’T SEEM RIGHT. 

 YOU’RE SAD ALL THE TIME. 

 OR SLAMMING DOORS 

 AT YOUR HOUSE. 

 LOOK, I DON’T THINK 

 YOU’RE CRAZY OR ANYTHING, 

BUT. . .HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT 

TALKING TO A COUNSELOR? 

OKAY. 

I PROMISE. 

WELL, IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA. 

AT LEAST PROMISE ME YOU’LL GO INTO

SCHOOL TOMORROW & TELL GUIDANCE. 

OR TALK TO OUR MINISTER. 

 YOU HAVE TO 

 DO SOMETHING. 

 THIS ANGER AND 

 SADNESS CAN’T 

 GO ON. 
40

Why go to a counselor?

Teens say it can be helpful to talk with someone outside 

the family—someone who doesn’t take sides. A counselor is a 

person who will listen to you. They will help you find ways to 

better handle the things that bother you and gain strength 

in your situation.

Finding a counselor

Talk with your mom, dad, or someone else you trust. Let 

them know you would like to talk to a counselor. Ask for help 

making appointments and getting to visits. Sometimes the 

counselor will even let you bring a friend.

Ask a nurse or social worker at the hospital if they know 

someone you can talk to.

Talk with your guidance counselor at school.

Don’t be shy about asking for help.

You may think: “I can solve all my own problems.” 

However, when faced with tough situations, both 

teens and adults need support from others!

Turn your face to the sun, andthe shadows fall behind you. —Maori proverb
41

Joining a support group

Another good outlet is a support group. Some groups meet in 

person; others meet online. Some groups go out and have fun 

together. In these groups you’ll meet other teens going through 

some of the same things that you are. At first this may not sound 

like something you want to do. Other teens say they thought the 

same thing—until they went to a meeting. They were surprised 

that so many others felt the same way they did and had advice 

that really seemed to work. A doctor, nurse, or social worker can 

help you find a support group.
42

“Grandma raised me to care about school. 

But after she got cancer, I had too much 

on my mind. And there was a lot to do 

to take care of her when I got home from 

school. My grades started to slip. I told 

my guidance counselor what was going 

on, and she shared some things that had 

worked for others. Now, whenever things 

start to get me down, I talk with my 

guidance counselor, who helps me feel 

less stressed. What’s best is that she 

keeps everything we talk about private.” 

—Nick, age 15
43

Chapter 8

You and your friends 

Your friends are important to you, and you’re important to them. 

In the past, you could tell 

them everything. Now that 

your parent has cancer, 

it may seem like a lot is 

changing—even your 

friendships. Here are 

some things to 

think about:

Your friends may not 

know what to say.

It is hard for some 

people to know 

what to say. 

Others may think 

it’s rude to ask 

questions.

Try to be gentle on 

friends who don’t 

ask about your 

parent’s cancer or 

how you are doing.

You may need to take 

the first step. 

Try saying something 

like this...

“I still see my friends, but 

things are different now. A 

lot of what they talk about 

seems kind of lame. They are 

into going to school dances or 

to the mall. Sometimes I feel 

like an outsider. I worry a 

lot about my dad. Stuff like 

who won the basketball game 

just doesn’t seem important 

now. Then I found out there 

was another kid at school 

whose dad has cancer. I have 

more in common with him than I 

do with friends I’ve known my 

whole life.” —Hamid, age 15

“Talking about 

what’s going on with 

my mom/dad is hard. 

I know that it’s not easy 

to ask questions. Is there 

anything you want to talk 

about or know?” 
44

Your friends may ask tough questions. 

You may not always feel like answering questions about your 

parent’s cancer or treatment. 

Try saying something like this: “talking about what’s going 

on right now is hard, but it’s nice of you to ask. The doctors 

are saying: [add in your own information here] . . .”

If you don’t feel like 

talking, try saying 

something like this... 

Your friends have their own lives. 

It may feel like your friends don’t care anymore. It might 

seem as though their lives are moving on, and yours isn’t. 

It can be hard to watch them get together with others or do 

things without you. But try to understand that they have 

their own lives, too. They aren’t facing 

the situation you are right now, 

so it may be hard for them 

to relate.

You might want 

to try saying 

something like this... 

“Thanks for 

asking about my 

mom/dad, but would it 

be okay if we talked 

about this later?” 

“I miss hanging 

out together. I know 

that I’ve had a lot on 

my mind since my dad 

got sick. I’m glad 

we’re still friends. 

Want to hang out 

tomorrow?”
45

Having fun and making new friends

Old friends

Even though you may have a lot on 

your mind, you can still get together 

with your friends and have a good 

time. If you can’t leave home as 

much, ask if your friends can come 

over. Take time to relax. It’s good 

for you. Make a list of fun things you 

and your friends like to do together. 

Then do them!

New friends

A lot is happening to you right now. Sometimes old friends move 

on. You may not have as much in common as you used to. The 

good news is that you may find yourself making new friends. Kids 

who used to just pass you in the halls may now ask you how you 

are doing. Kids who you used to be friends with may enter your life 

again. Be open to new friendships.

Going to support groups at the hospital or clinic is a good way to 

meet new friends. It helps to connect with people who are going 

through some of the same things that you are. Try to do fun things 

together. The break will be good for all of you! 
46

?

Dealing with hurtful remarks

Unfortunately, some kids may say mean things. Others speak 

before they think and before they get the facts. No matter the 

reason, it can hurt when kids make jokes or say hurtful things 

about you, cancer, or your parent. 

What can you do?

Ignore the comment.

Say, “Hey, my dad has cancer. It’s not funny. How would you 

feel if it was your dad?”

Being bullied? If standing up for yourself and saying “that’s 

enough” doesn’t work—talk with someone. Go to your 

parent, teacher, principal, or school counselor. You deserve 

to be treated with respect.

Do not protect yourself by a fence, 

but rather by your friends. 

 —Czech proverb
47

Chapter 9

How you can help your parent

Here are some things that others have done to help their parent at 

home. Pick one or two things to try each week. 

Help with care

Spend time with 

your parent.

Watch a movie together. 

Read the paper to your 

parent. Ask for help 

with your homework. 

Give hugs. Say, “I love 

you.” Or just hang out 

in silence. 

Lend a hand.

Bring water or offer to make a snack or small meal. 

“Some days I felt really good 

about the little things I could 

do for my mom. Other times 

there wasn’t anything I could 

do except just be with her. 

We didn’t always have to 

talk. Even when I was quiet, 

I think my mom could sense 

my love.” —Vanessa, age 16
48

Help by being thoughtful 

Try to be upbeat, but be “real,” too.

Being positive can be good for you and your whole family. But 

don’t feel like you always have to act cheerful, especially if it’s 

not how you really feel. It’s okay to share your thoughts with your 

parent—and let them comfort you. Be yourself.

Be patient.

You are all under stress. If you find you are losing your cool, listen 

to music, read, or go outside to shoot hoops or go for a run. 

Share a laugh.

You’ve probably heard that laughter is good medicine. Watch a 

comedy on TV with your parent or tell jokes if that’s your thing. 

Also, remember that you’re not responsible for making everyone 

happy. You can only do so much. 

Buy your parent a new scarf or hat.

Your parent might enjoy a new hat or scarf if he or she has lost 

their hair during treatment. 
49

Help by staying involved

Keep your parent in the loop.

Tell your parent what you did today. Try to share what is going on 

in your life. Ask your parent how his or her day was. 

Talk about family history.

Ask your parent about the past. Look through pictures or photo 

albums. Talk about what you’re both most proud of, your best 

memories, and how you both have met challenges. Write, or make 

drawings, about what you and your parent share with each other.

Keep a journal together.

Write thoughts or poems, draw, or put photos in a notebook that 

the two of you share. This can help you share your feelings when it 

might be hard to speak them aloud. 

Help with younger brothers and sisters.

Play with your brothers and sisters to give your parent a break. 

Pull out games or read a book with your siblings. This will help you 

stay close and also give your parent time to rest.
50

“Before my dad got cancer, I didn’t 

take time to really notice all the stuff 

I had going for me. But I’ve learned to 

open my eyes more. Bad things happen 

in this world—like my dad getting 

cancer—but it’s a pretty wonderful 

place, too. Even while there’s been a lot 

of added pressure on our family, I’ve 

learned to appreciate every day more.” 

—Kenyatta, age 18

The journey of a thousand miles 
51

Chapter 10

After treatment

When your parent is finally done with treatment, you may feel a 

whole range of emotions. Part of you is glad it is over. Another 

part of you may miss the freedom or new responsibilities you had 

while your parent was getting treatment. You may feel confused 

that your parent still looks sick and is weaker than you expected. 

You may be afraid the cancer will come back. You may look at life 

differently now. All these feelings are normal. If you and your 

family are still feeling that life after treatment is harder than you 

thought it might be, you might want to talk to a counselor to get 

guidance through this time.

Things may not go back to exactly how they were before cancer 

came into your lives. Getting back to your “old life” may take a 

long time—or it may not happen as you expect. 

Here are some things that others have to say about life after 

treatment. Do any of these kids sound like you?

Caleb talks about the “new normal”: 

“Now that my mom is done with chemo and radiation, 

things are pretty different. My older brother drove 

her to treatment. It was my job to get dinner and 

help my little sister, Jada, with homework each 

night. Now that Mom is better, Jada doesn’t need as 

much help from me. For a while I was her hero. Look, 

I am glad Mom’s treatment went well, but getting 

used to her being up and about is, well, different. 

My mom says it will take time.” —Caleb, age 15

must begin with a single step. —Lao Tzu
52

Sarah appreciates life more:

“I have to admit it, before my mom got sick we fought a lot—over 

what I was wearing, who I hung out with, or why I wasn‘t nicer 

to my little sister. After my mother got cancer, 

we pulled together more. My sister and I got 

tight. She looked up to me to make sure we 

were going to be all right. Now stuff like 

painting my nails or wearing cool clothes 

don’t matter as much. I even help run a 

support group for kids at my school who have 

a sick parent.” —Sarah, age 17

Jake is glad to have his dad back home:

“All I can say is that I never saw my dad cry until 

he finished his last chemo treatment. 

The doctors said they think they 

got all the cancer. My father was 

so emotional—glad to be alive. 

Then my mom and brother 

lost it, too. I have to say 

that I’m so glad my dad 

is better. I used to take 

him for granted. No more.” 

—Jake, age 16
53

?

What does life after treatment 

look like for you and your family?

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

 Our greatest glory is 

 not in never failing, 

but in rising up every time we fail. 

—Ralph Waldo Emerson
54

What if treatment doesn’t help?

If treatment doesn’t help your parent, you and your family will 

face even more challenges. Hearing that your parent might die 

is very difficult. You may feel many of the same emotions you felt 

when you first learned that your mom or dad had cancer. 

No booklet can give you all the answers or tell you exactly how 

you will feel. But when the future is so uncertain, teens say it 

helps to:

Make the most of the time you have.

Do special things as a family. At home, make time for your 

mom or dad. Call and visit as much as you can if your parent 

is in the hospital. Write notes and draw pictures. Say “I love 

you” often. 

If possible, try to have some special times together. If you 

have not gotten along in the past, you may want to let your 

parent know you love him or her. 

Stay on track. 

When people get bad news, they often feel like they’re living 

outside of themselves—that life is moving along without 

them. That’s why it’s important to keep a schedule. Get up at 

the same time each day. Go to school. Meet with friends. 

Get help when you feel alone. 

Make sure you find people who can help you. In addition to 

your family, it may help to talk to a social worker, counselor, 

or people in a support group. 

The past cannot be changed; 
55

?

Do you want more support 

and guidance? 

Cancer organizations can also help you during this 

very difficult time in your life. In Chapter 12, you’ll find 

some organizations to contact.

“It was very hard to hear that 

my mom’s treatment wasn’t 

working anymore. She and I 

decided to make the most of each 

day. Some days we talk nonstop. 

Other times we just sit together 

and hold hands. But every 

day, I tell my mom how much I 

love her. You can’t be afraid to 

love. Not ever. I learned that.” 

—Emily, age 16

the future is still in your power. —Hugh White
56

If your parent passes away, 

know that...

You’ll always have memories. 

Your parent will always be part of your life. Hold on to your 

memories of the good times. Don’t feel guilty that you’re not 

respecting your parent’s memory when you think about something 

funny that your parent did or said. By laughing and smiling 

you are bringing back just a little of what was so special about 

your parent.

The pain will get less intense with time. 

At first the pain may be so strong that you might wonder whether 

you will ever feel happy again. Time has a way of healing. Not 

being sad every day doesn’t mean that you have forgotten your 

parent. It just means that you are starting to heal. 

Everyone grieves in his or her own way. 

Some teens grieve for their parent’s death by crying. Others get 

quiet and spend time by themselves. Some find that they need to 

be around friends and talk. Others get very angry. In any case, 

most people find it helps to keep a regular routine. There is no 

right way or wrong way to grieve. It’s okay to deal with loss at 

your own pace. 

Your parent would want you to be happy. 

Stay open to new experiences. Write about your thoughts. Make 

small changes that give your life new meaning. 

Life will change.

Life won’t be the same as before, but it can be rich and full again. 

Keep believing this.
57

Chapter 11

The road ahead

It can be hard to stay calm when you aren’t sure what the future 

holds. You may be thinking—will my parent survive cancer? 

Will the cancer come back? Will life ever be the same? Will I 

laugh again?

While no one can know the future, there are things you can do to 

make your life a little more stable:

Keep talking and pulling together as a family. You may 

find that cancer has drawn you closer together and made you 

appreciate each other more than ever. 

Discover your own needs. Don’t let others tell you how you 

should feel. Allow yourself to cope at your own pace and in your 

own way.

Remember that you’re 

growing as a person.

Many teens say that 

having a parent with 

cancer has made them 

more sympathetic, 

more responsible, 

and stronger. 

“Don’t get me wrong, 

I’m so glad that 

treatment is over. 

Seeing my stepdad so 

sick was hard to take. 

But now that he’s back 

home, well, bedtime 

is back to 10:00, no 

more late night TV, 

I have to say where 

I’ll be and when I’ll 

be home... basically, 

we’re back to the old 

rules.” —Monica, age 17

No one knows the story of tomorrow’s dawn. —Ashanti proverb
58

Accept people’s help. Right now you may feel lonelier than 

you ever have in your life. But you are not alone. Family, friends, 

support groups, neighbors, and counselors are there to lend a 

helping hand, listen to you, and be there for you. 

Appreciate each day. Many teens who have a parent with 

cancer say that they learned to see the world more clearly. 

In time you may come to appreciate things you may have 

overlooked in the past. 

Maybe you have noticed that little things seem to have more 

meaning for you these days. Take some time to write these 

thoughts down, even if they seem small: 

__________________________________________________

__________________________________________________

__________________________________________________

__________________________________________________

__________________________________________________

__________________________________________________

No booklet or person can tell you exactly how everything is going 

to work out. Cancer is tough, and your life may never be quite the 

same. But in the end, you will get through it. Why? You’re strong. 

And you are capable—even if you don’t always feel that way. 

To know the road ahead, 

 ask those coming back.

—Chinese proverb
59

Chapter 12

Learning more on your own

It’s great that you want to learn more. Keep in mind that cancer 

treatments are getting better all the time. Make sure that what 

you read or see is up to date and accurate. Talk with your parent 

or other trusted adult about what you find. Share the articles or 

books you’ve found with them. Ask them any questions you may 

have. You can get information from:

Your school or public library

Ask the librarian to help you find the information or support 

that you’re looking for in books, magazines, videos, or on 

the Internet.

The Internet

Use an Internet 

search engine and 

type in general words 

like “parent” and 

“cancer” together 

to get started. Keep 

in mind that the 

Internet has a lot of 

good information. It also has a lot of poor information and 

false promises, so you may want to check with your parent or 

another trusted adult about what you find. 

Your parent’s hospital or clinic

Visit the patient education office at your parent’s hospital, 

if there is one. Or, ask if you can go with your parent during 

their visit to the doctor—to learn more.
60

Help is a phone call or web site away

Here are some places 

to contact for help. You 

can call them or visit 

their Web site for more 

information. 

National Cancer 

Institute (NCI)

NCI has up-to-date, 

accurate information 

for you and your family. 

Get answers to your 

questions and learn 

more by calling us, 

visiting our Web site, 

or ordering our publications. We provide information in both 

English and Spanish on types of cancer, treatment, clinical trials, 

supportive care, complementary and alternative medicine, as 

well as on screening, prevention, and genetics. You will also 

find a dictionary of cancer terms, and a drug dictionary, on our 

site. We are a federal government agency that is part of the U.S. 

Department of Health and Human Services.

Web ..................... www.cancer.gov and 

www.cancer.gov/espanol

Online Chat .......... www.cancer.gov/livehelp

E-mail ................. cancergovstaff@mail.nih.gov

Phone .................. 1-800-4-CANCER (1-800-422-6237)

Publications ......... www.cancer.gov/publications or call 

1-800-4-CANCER

Find more organizations:

Visit www.cancer.gov and type 

“national organizations” into the 

search box. You will find a list of 

National Organizations That Offer 

Cancer-Related Services. 

These organizations provide 

emotional, financial, and/or 

informational support to people 

with cancer and their families. 

Or call 1-800-4-CANCER 

(1-800-422-6237) to learn more.
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American Cancer Society (ACS)

ACS is a nationwide, community-based voluntary health 

organization. ACS offers a variety of services and programs for 

patients and their families. ACS also supports research, provides 

printed materials, and conducts educational programs. Staff can 

accept calls and distribute publications in Spanish. 

Web ..................... www.cancer.org

Phone .................. 1-800-ACS-2345 (1-800-227-2345)

TTY ...................... 1-866-228-4327 

American Society of Clinical Oncology (ASCO)

ASCO has oncologist-approved cancer information to help patients 

and families make informed health care decisions. ASCO’s site also 

has podcasts and videos for patients and family members. The 

site also includes a section on camps and retreats for families and 

children touched by cancer.

Web ..................... www.cancer.net

Cancer Support Community (CSC) 

The Cancer Support Community (CSC) was formed by the merger 

of Gilda’s Club Worldwide and The Wellness Community. CSC is 

an international non-profit organization that has a network of 

personalized services and education for all people affected by 

cancer. Its free programs include support groups, counseling, 

education, and healthy lifestyle initiatives. These support services 

are available online and through local affiliates.

Web ..................... www.cancersupportcommunity.org

E-mail ................. help@cancersupportcommunity.org 

Phone .................. 1-888-793-WELL (1-888-793-9355)
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CancerCare

CancerCare provides free professional support services and 

publications to anyone affected by cancer, including the patient’s 

children and loved ones. Services include counseling and 

support groups, education, financial assistance, and practical 

help. CancerCare also accepts calls and distributes publications 

in Spanish. Limited grants are available to eligible families for 

cancer-related costs like transportation and childcare.

Web ..................... www.cancercare.org

E-mail ................. info@cancercare.org

Phone .................. 1-800-813-HOPE (1-800-813-4673) 
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Chart A: Cancer team members

TEAM MEMBER WHAT THEY DO

Nurse A health professional trained to care for people who are 

ill or disabled

Nutritionist/

dietitian

A health professional with special training in nutrition 

who can help with dietary choices

Oncologist A doctor who specializes in treating people with cancer. 

Some oncologists specialize in certain types of cancer or

certain types of cancer treatment.

Patient educator Educates patients and families about illness

Pharmacist Dispenses medicines for patients

Physical therapist Teaches exercises and physical activities that help 

patients gain more muscle strength and movement

Psychiatrist A doctor who treats mental health problems, including 

depression, with medicine and talk therapy

Psychologist Talks with patients and their families about emotional 

and personal matters and helps them make decisions

Radiologist A doctor who looks at x-rays and other images of 

the body

Religious or 

spiritual leader

Addresses the spiritual and emotional health of patients 

and their families. This can be a chaplain, minister, 

priest, rabbi, imam, or youth group leader.

Social worker Talks with people and their families about emotional or 

physical needs and helps them find support services

Surgeon A doctor who removes or repairs a part of the body by 

operating on the patient
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Chart B: Monitoring Tests

TEST PURPOSE

Biopsy Used to find out whether a tumor or abnormality 

is cancer. Benign means it is not cancer. 

Malignant means that it is cancer.

Blood test Checks the blood to see whether the balance of 

the cells and chemicals is normal

Bone marrow 

aspiration

Collects a small sample of cells from inside a 

bone to be examined under a microscope

CAT scan or CT scan 

(Computerized axial 

tomography)

Uses x-rays and a computer to produce threedimensional (3-D) images of the inside of 

the body

MRI 

(Magnetic resonance 

imaging)

Uses radio and magnetic waves to make images 

of organs and other tissues inside the body

PET scan 

(Positron emission 

tomography)

Uses computerized pictures of areas inside the 

body to find cancer cells

Spinal tap 

(Lumbar puncture)

Collects a sample of the fluid inside the spine to 

be examined under a microscope

Ultrasound 

(Ultrasonography)

Uses high-frequency sound waves to make 

images of organs and tissues inside the body

X-ray Takes a picture of the inside of the body using 

high-energy radiation
65

PROCEDURE (What happens)

A doctor removes a sample of tissue in one of two ways: with a long 

needle (needle biopsy) or by making a small cut (surgical biopsy).

A nurse or technician inserts a needle into a vein, usually in the arm. 

Then he or she draws blood.

A needle is used to remove a small sample of tissue from a bone 

(usually the hip bone).

The patient lies flat on a table, which moves through a large tube 

while a series of x-rays is taken.

The patient lies flat on a table, which moves through a large tube 

while an MRI machine scans the body for several minutes.

The patient gets an injection of a special dye and then a machine 

takes computerized pictures of areas inside the body.

A needle is used to remove fluid from the spine in the lower back.

A technician moves a small handheld device over an area on the

patient’s body. An image appears on the computer screen.

The patient is placed in front of the x-ray machine or lies on a table.
66

Glossary

What the Terms Mean

This list can help you learn some words that your parents or the doctors 

and nurses may use. Don’t be afraid to ask questions when you don’t 

understand what they are talking about. These people are there to help 

you, too.

Benign: Not cancer. Benign tumors do not spread to the tissues around 

them or to other parts of the body.

Biological therapy: Treatment to help the body’s immune system fight 

infections, cancer, and other diseases. It is also used to reduce certain 

side effects of cancer treatment. Other names include immunotherapy, 

biotherapy, or BRM (biological response modifier) therapy.

Bone marrow: The soft, sponge-like tissue in the center of most bones. 

It makes white blood cells, red blood cells, and platelets.

Cancer: A term for diseases in which abnormal cells divide without 

control. Cancer cells can invade nearby tissues and can spread through 

the bloodstream and lymphatic system to other parts of the body. 

These are the main types of cancer:

•	 Carcinoma starts in the skin or in tissues that line or cover 

internal organs. 

•	 Central nervous system cancers begin in the tissues of the 

brain and spinal cord.

•	 Leukemia starts in blood-forming tissue such as the bone 

marrow. Large numbers of abnormal blood cells form and enter 

the bloodstream. 

•	 Lymphoma and multiple myeloma begin in the cells of the 

immune system.

•	 Sarcoma starts in bone, cartilage, fat, muscle, blood vessels, or 

other connective or supportive tissue. 
67

Cell: The individual unit that makes up the tissues of the body. All living 

things are made up of one or more cells.

Chemotherapy: Treatment with medicines that destroy cancer cells. 

Also called chemo. Chemo is most often given intravenously (IV) 

(through a blood vessel). Some chemo can also be taken as a pill.

Depression: A mental condition marked by ongoing feelings of sadness, 

despair, loss of energy, and difficulty dealing with normal daily life. 

Other symptoms of depression include feeling worthless or hopeless, 

loss of pleasure in activities, changes in eating or sleeping habits, and 

thoughts of death or suicide. Depression can affect anyone, and can be 

successfully treated.

Diagnosis: The process of identifying a disease, such as cancer, from its 

signs and symptoms.

Hormone: A chemical made by glands in your body. Hormones move 

in the bloodstream. They control the actions of certain cells or organs. 

Some hormones can also be made in the laboratory.

Hormone therapy: Treatment that adds, blocks, or removes hormones. 

To slow or stop the growth of certain cancers (such as prostate and 

breast cancer), synthetic hormones or other drugs may be given to block 

the body’s natural hormones.

Immune system: Organs and cells that defend the body against 

infections and other diseases.

Inherited: Transmitted through genes that have been passed from 

parents to their offspring (children).

Intravenous: Into or within a vein. Intravenous usually refers to a way 

of giving a drug or other substance through a needle or tube inserted 

into a vein. Also called IV.

IV: Into or within a vein. IV usually refers to a way of giving a drug or 

other substance through a needle or tube inserted into a vein. Also 

called intravenous.
68

Leukemia: Cancer that starts in blood-forming tissue such as the bone 

marrow and causes large numbers of blood cells to form and enter the 

bloodstream.

Malignant: Cancer. Malignant tumors can invade nearby tissue and 

spread to other parts of the body.

Metastasis: The spread of cancer from one part of the body to another. 

A tumor formed by cells that have spread is called a metastatic tumor or 

a metastasis. The metastatic tumor contains cells that are like those in 

the original (primary) tumor.

Radiation therapy: The use of high-energy radiation from x-rays, 

gamma rays, neutrons, protons, and other sources to destroy cancer 

cells and shrink tumors. Radiation may come from a machine outside the 

body (external-beam radiation therapy), or it may come from radioactive 

material placed in the body near cancer cells (internal radiation therapy). 

Recurrence: Cancer that has recurred (come back), usually after a 

period of time during which the cancer could not be detected. The cancer 

may come back to the same place as the original (primary) tumor or to 

another place in the body. Also called recurrent cancer.

Relapse: The return of cancer after a period of improvement.

Remission: A decrease in or disappearance of signs and symptoms of 

cancer. In partial remission, some, but not all, signs and symptoms of 

cancer have disappeared. In complete remission, all signs and symptoms 

of cancer have disappeared, although cancer still may be in the body.

Risk factor: Something that increases the chance of developing a 

disease. Some examples of risk factors for cancer are age, a family 

history of certain cancers, use of tobacco products, being exposed to 

radiation or certain chemicals, infection with certain viruses or bacteria, 

and certain genetic changes.

Side effect: A problem that occurs when treatment affects healthy 

tissues or organs. Some common side effects of cancer treatment are 

fatigue, pain, nausea, vomiting, decreased blood cell counts, hair loss, 

and mouth sores.
69

Stem cell: A cell from which other types of cells develop. For example, 

blood cells develop from blood-forming stem cells.

Stem cell transplant: A method of replacing immature bloodforming cells in the bone marrow that have been destroyed by drugs, 

radiation, or disease. Stem cells are injected into the patient and make 

healthy blood cells. A stem cell transplant may be autologous (using a 

patient’s own stem cells that were saved before treatment), allogeneic 

(using stem cells donated by someone who is not an identical twin), or 

syngeneic (using stem cells donated by an identical twin).

Support group: A group of people with similar concerns who help each 

other by sharing experiences, knowledge, and information.

Surgery: A procedure to remove or repair a part of the body or to find 

out whether disease is present. An operation.

Tissue: A group or layer of cells that work together to perform a 

specific function.

Tumor: An abnormal mass of tissue that results when cells divide more 

than they should or do not die when they should. Tumors may be benign 

(not cancer), or malignant (cancer). Also called neoplasm.
NIH Publication No. 11-5734

Revised December 2010