Simplifying

Election

Forms and

Materials

Simplifying

Election

Forms and

Materials

Author:

Mike Fox

Literacy and Plain Language Consultant

Box 4884

Cleveland Park

Washington, D.C. 202/483-6121

Managed and Edited by:

William C. Kimberling

Office of Election Administration

Published by:

Office of Election Administration

Federal Election Commission

Washington, D.C. 20463

May 1996
Introduction by the

Office of Election

Administration

This report is another in the series on Innovations in Election Administration being

published by the FEC's Office of Election

Administration.

The purpose of this series is to acquaint

State and local election officials with innovative election procedures and technologies that

have been successfully implemented by their

colleagues around the country.

Our reports on these innovations do not

necessarily constitute an endorsement by

the Federal Election Commission either of

any specific procedures described or of

any vendors or suppliers that might be

listed within the report. Moreover, the

views and opinions expressed in these

reports are those of the authors and are

not necessarily shared by the Federal

Election Commission or any division

thereof.

We welcome your comments on these reports

as well as any suggestions you may have for

additional topics. You may mail these to us at:

Office of Election Administration

Federal Election Commission

999 E. Street, N.W.

Washington, D.C. 20463

or else contact us

Toll free 800/424-9530

Direct on 202/219-3670

By FAX on 202/219-8500 or

e-mail bkimberling@fec.gov.

ii
The Problem

Are your:

n New registrations fewer than expected?

n Mail-in voter applications being returned

incomplete or incorrect?

n Requests for updated voter information being

ignored?

n Registrations coming in after the deadline?

n New registrations increasing, but not voter

participation?

If your answer to any of these questions is

yes, there's a good chance that many of the

voters in your community can't read or understand all or part of your voter materials. It

could be that people who want to register are

being "turned off' by your complicated-looking

application. It could be that voters who have

moved weren't quite sure what to do with that

post card you sent them about updating their

voter information. Worse yet, maybe some of

the voters who need help don't understand

what you mean by "voter assistance program."

There's also a good chance that many of the

election materials you have out in the community are just not as reader-friendly as you think

they are. Maybe there are more voters in your

community than you realize who need materials that are easier to read and use.

The Case for Plain

Language

Consider this:

The U.S. Department of Education recently

conducted a study in which a random sample of

adults across the U.S. were tested on their

ability to read and use "typical consumer print

materials." Based on this study, the Department made the startling announcement that

an estimated 90 million adult Americans

would have difficulty reading, comprehending, and using "long, complex, dense

print materials."

That's bad news in general, and really bad

news when you consider that many studies

have shown that the readability (reading level)

of most materials written and designed for use

by the general public are exactly that — long,

complex, and dense. They are:

n too wordy

n too formal

n loaded with jargon, technospeak,

bureaucratese, and legalese

n organized and designed in an overly

complicated fashion, and

n written at a college reading level.

In other words, we know that in order to fully

participate in our high-print society you have

to be a highly skilled reader . Yet, at the same

time, we know that:

1
q About 50 million adults in the U.S. have not

graduated from high school

q About half of that 50 million dropped out

before the eighth grade, and

q About a million young adults drop out of school

each year, and another million graduate with

less than adequate reading skills.

Combine these citizens with the untold

numbers of high school graduates from years

back who are only marginally literate by

today's standards, and you begin to see where

the 90 million figure comes from.

The good news from the Department of

Education study is its conclusion that a majority of those 90 million people who have trouble

reading typical consumer print materials, are

able to manage their way through "brief and

uncomplicated texts and documents."

What this means is that millions more of our

fellow citizens could participate at a higher level

in our high-print society, if the materials they

need to read and use were written in a brief and

uncomplicated way. Alas, the problem is that

most are not, and the consequences are many:

n Agencies and organizations fail to get their

messages across

n People in general feel uninformed and

alienated by the "system"

n Confusion and complaints become selfperpetuating

n Time gets wasted on needless inquiries

n Millions of dollars get wasted on materials

that don't get read, and

n Able readers with hurried lives get annoyed

with "so much reading for so little information," while less able readers just give up

"trying to get through all those big words."

So, the research tells us that there is a major

gap between the reading abilities of the

general public and the readability of most

consumer print materials. The general public is

frustrated by the difficulty, as well as the

quantity, of the materials they're being asked

to read on a regular basis. And most public

servants want and need to do a good, or better,

job of communicating with the public. So what

can you do?

The Solution

The solution is to: Write in plain language!

What does that mean? In a nutshell, it

means to write your public information materials in a simple, clear, organized, straightforward, and friendly way — using the

language of the general public.

To show you what it doesn't mean, take a

look at these phrases from actual election

materials:

n "2-digit number"

n "a Bona Fide resident of

n "before an officer authorized to administer

oaths"

n "legal disqualifications"

n "your right to vote must be maintained"

n "your right to vote is abridged by"

n "your right to vote is secured by"

n "the equivalent of an affidavit"

n "If You Are a Member of a Language Minority Group Entitled to Printed Materials and

Ballots Under the Federal Voting Rights Act

Because of Your Inability to Read and Write

English Indicate the Language"

This is neither the language of the general

public, nor for that matter, of most high school

or even college graduates. It is the legalese of

lawyers and legislators, and the jargon of

election personnel.

2
Legalese and jargon (or "electionese") are in

and of themselves not a problem. The problem

comes when writers, editors, and publishers pass

this language on to the voter. They don't "speak"

it, so you shouldn't expect them to read it!

More and more public service agencies are

recognizing this problem and are working to make

their print materials more "reader-friendly" and

"easier to read." That's good for all readers, and

especially good for the tens of millions who are

only marginally literate. But plain language

writing can do more than just make things better

and easier for the reader. It can also help your

agency. With plain language, you can:

n Reach out to, and reach, a larger audience

n Improve your public image

n Cut down on confusion, questions, and

complaints

n Save staff and reader time by sending a clear

message from the start

n Streamline your entire public information

process

n Keep up with the growing demand for public

information

n Ensure that the information you provide

meets the legal requirements of "informed"

consent; and, yes, even

n Avoid law suits.

You can also learn to write in plain language. There are no magic formulas or hard

and fast rules to follow, but there are some

basic principles and techniques that can guide

you through the process. If you're committed to

making your next voter form, flier, letter, and

other materials easier to read and use, this

manual will help you do that.

But All I Want to Do Is Register

to Vote

Before you get into reading about what plain

language is, take a look at what it is not. The

following examples, taken from actual voter

registration applications, will serve this purpose. (A reader's thought follows each example.

You may find this humorous, but you should

take it dead serious.)

n Alternate Registration Form

"I don't understand. There's nothing here in

the instructions about why this form is an

alternate form. I'll just wait and fill out the

other (regular) form."

n Mail-in Registration Application

(If seen in any place other than an election

office.) "Let's see. Do I need anything that

needs to be registered? Naw. I'm in a hurry

anyway."

n (State) Voter Registration Application

For Use By Authorized Registrars Only

"Heck. I wanted register to vote, but I'd

better not use this form. I'm not an

authorized registrar. I wonder where I can

get a regular application?"

n Affidavit on Application for Voter

Registration

"I'd better fill out a regular registration form

first. I'll worry about the affidavit later."

n Mail-In Note: This form must be mailed

by the applicant at least 30 days before

the election.

"Does that mean I can't have my son drop

this off at the post office on his way to

school? And if he does, who will know?"

3
n Bonafide (sic) residence address

"What's a bona fide residence? Or is it bona

fide address? What does bona fide mean,

anyway?"

n Your right to vote is secured by being

properly registered in the precinct

where you reside.

"Huh?"

n Important! You may NOT list your

address as a business unless you

actually reside there.

"What they really mean is that I may not list

my business as my address unless I live

there. Don't they?"

n If you indicate a political party

affiliation that is not a qualified party....

"Qualified to do what?"

n Your signature may be recorded

electronically....

"Does that take a special kind of pen?"

n All of the contents of the completed

form may be duplicated for the

permanent voter registration file.

"But I don't want a copy for my files. Or does

this mean I'm supposed to send a copy?"

n The 2-digit number of the month, day,

and year you were born.

"But I was born on 4/29/43. That's five digits."

n Questions propounded to applicant.

"Huh?"

n ....(as submitted by you or in machine

readable or other format)....

"I give up!"

That's what many voters would do — give

up! They'd give up because the writers used

words, poorly structured sentences, and out-ofplace phrases that are difficult to read and

understand.

However, people will not give up on your

voter materials if you write them in plain

language. The principles and techniques that

follow explain what writing in plain language

means.

4
Principle One:

Plan Ahead

Before you begin to write, think, "What is my

purpose for writing this material?" Ask yourself a few basic questions (Q), and try to come

up with specific answers (A). For example:

Q. Why am I writing this?

A. We need to update our voter registration

records.

Q. Am I writing to a particular group?

A. Yes; voters who have moved outside of my

county.

Q. What is the message or information I want

to get across?

A. That these voters should verify their correct

address.

Q. Is there something I want voters to do? If

so, how and when do I want them to do it.

A. Yes. I want them to fill out all of the information on the postage-paid card, and to

return it as soon as possible.

Q. What instructions do I need to give to the

voters?

A. I need to tell them how to fill out the card,

the deadline for mailing it, and where to

call if they have any questions.

Q. How should I organize and present the

information?

A. I should tell them

what they've received;

why they've received it;

- what to do with it;

- how to do it;

- when (and maybe where) to send or

deliver it; and

- where to call if they have any questions,

in that order.

Q. What format should I use?

A. I should use the format that seems easiest

to read and easiest to use. (Keeping in

mind, of course, that I also have to worry

about the NVRA, our State legal authority,

postal regulations, printing costs, and

budget restrictions, only some of which are

negotiable.)

Of course, the dialogue you have with yourself (and others involved in the document

design process) won't be as simple as this. But

asking questions like these, and coming up

with some clear answers, is where you have to

start if your goal is to end up with more

readable materials. .

5

n Use a word (or two) instead of a phrase.

It's just easier for everyone.

Instead of:

with regard to

in the event that

on the part of

in the month of November

it is necessary that you

in accordance with

Use:

about

if

by

in November

you must

under

n Use words that most people use in their

everyday lives.

Instead of: Use:

accordingly

forward

obtain

promptly

relocate

request

retain

your place of residence

SO

send

get

as soon as possible

move

ask

keep

where you live

Principle Two:

Keep It Short

and Simple!

It needs to be said up front that "simple"

does not mean simplistic, simple-minded, dumb

(as in dummied down), condescending, or any of

the other terms that skeptics of plain language

writing might use.

What "simple" does mean should become

clearer as you read through the techniques that

follow.

Choose Simpler Words

n Use shorter words. This means use words

with the least number of syllables, whenever

you can. To marginal readers, there's a big

difference between a two-syllable word and a

four or five-syllable word.

Instead of: Use:

assistance help

designate/designation choose/choice

duplicate copy

inquiry question

locality place

statutory legal

Note: More examples of "simpler words"

can be found in the "Word Exchange List" in

Appendix F.

7
Avoid Jargon

Jargon is the technical or special language

used in a particular field, such as medicine,

plumbing, law, electronics, and finance. In

election administration, it's the language that

gets passed down to you from federal legislation, state statutes, court decrees, government

regulations, and other sources.

Jargon is also what makes most materials

difficult to read and understand. That's why it

is so important to avoid using jargon, if you

can.

Unfortunately, there will be times when you

can't, either because there is simply no substitution for the jargon, or because of some other

legitimate reason. However, there are some

things you can do to help your readers "get

through the jargon" when you do use it.

n Define the jargon, when and where you first

use it, by putting it into a context that

helps the reader know what you mean. For

example:

q Your polling place, where you will be

voting, is...."

(You told the new voter what a polling

place is.)

q Keep your voter record information up to

date.

(You gave an office term [voter record] a

little more meaning. However, avoiding

the jargon would be even better, as in

"Help us keep our information up to

date.")

q Disclosure of (giving) your Social Security

Number....

(You may have gotten around some statutory language here by using the word

"giving"; unless there's a statute that says

you can't put statutory language in a

context that makes it easier for the voter

to understand. But that's doubtful. It's

something you can chat with the lawyers

about.)

q Application for Absentee Voter: If you

want to vote in the next election,

but will not be able to go to the polls, ....

(You told the reader up front what this

form is for, and you got around the

words "application" and "absentee.")

n Put the jargon in a glossary. Put the glossary at the beginning where readers will

see it. Title it, "Words You Need to Know."

Most words are easy to define, but if not,

you can always use the words in a sentence

that will help the reader at least make a

good guess at what the word is. See the

next page for a sample glossary in a "How

To Vote" flier .

Write Simpler Sentences

Keep sentences short. As a rule of thumb:

n Fewer than ten words is ideal.

n Up to fifteen is often a bit more real.

n Fifteen to twenty words is stretching it.

n Twenty or more words is too much!

One way to do this is to cut needless

words. For example, compare these

sentences:

Original: Please typewrite or handprint

using blue or black ink.

Rewrite: Please type or print in blue or black

ink.

8
Sample Glossary Original: Our offices will be closed in observance of Thanksgiving, but will

reopen on the Friday after

Thanksgiving.

Rewrite: We will be closed on Thanksgiving

Day.

Original: Applicant should affix one's

signature on the line below.

Rewrite: Sign on the line below (or) Sign

below (or) Sign here.

Original: Contact your local election office to

find your polling place and learn

the date of your local election.

Rewrite: Contact your local election office

about when and where to vote.

Original: This application need not be subscribed and sworn to before an officer

authorized to administer oaths, if it

subscribed to before two (2) witnesses who affix their respective

signatures and addresses hereto.

Rewrite: Two witnesses must put their

signatures and addresses below.

Only one witness is needed if that

person is a notary public.

or

Two witnesses must sign below and

give their addresses. Or you can

use a notary public instead.

Watch Those Negative Words!

Most readers get confused when two negatives (a double negative) are used in the

same sentence. For example:

n "Do not if you are unable to."

n "The state will not deny benefits to"

n "Do not fill in this box if you do not know

your previous address.

n "I do not disapprove"

Words You Need to Know

Absentee Voter—A person who will not

be able to go to the polls on election day,

but will still be able to vote at another

time, in person or by mail.

Ballot—The list of people (candidates)

who are running for office. The ballot can

be a card, a sheet of paper, or a list on a

voting machine.

An Absentee Ballot is a ballot that is

mailed or delivered to the election office

by an absentee voter.

Eligible Voter—In most cases, you are

an eligible voter if you have registered to

vote where you now live.

General Election—A general election is

an election in which candidates from

different political parties are running for

office.

Polling Place—A polling place is the

building where you go to vote.

Primary Election—A primary election is

an election where candidates from the

same political party run against each

other to be candidates for office in the

general election.

Precinct A precinct is an area within a

county, city, or town in which voting takes

place. You live and vote within a certain

voting precinct.

9
Negative words include:

n Outright negative words, such as not, no,

can't, shouldn't

n Words with a prefix meaning not, such as

unable, unknown, untruthful, inactive,

incomplete, and inability.

n Words with negative meanings, such as deny,

reject, refuse, decline, disapprove

Take a look at what may go down in history

as the classic example of a double negative. In

fact, you are probably already familiar with it.

In case you need reminding, here it is from the

language required by the National Voter Registration Act (NVRA) of 1993.

"IF YOU DO NOT CHECK EITHER BOX,

YOU WILL BE CONSIDERED TO HAVE

DECIDED NOT TO REGISTER TO VOTE

AT THIS TIME.

AYES ENO

And what is the voter to think?

n "If I check yes, that means I want to register

here and now.

n If I check no, that means I don't want to

register.

n But I guess I don't have to check either box.

n But if I don't check either box, that also

means that I'm saying no.

n So what's the difference between checking no

and not checking no?

n I don't really know, so I guess I'll play it safe

and not check anything."

And so it goes between most readers and

double negatives — confusion. Don't use them!

Cut Long and Needless

Paragraphs

Keep paragraphs to six or fewer sentences.

Better yet, avoid using formal paragraphs

when you can. Instead, turn text into a list of

items with bullets (•), 1-2-3, or a-b-c- order.

(Roman numerals are not a good idea.)

Here are a couple of examples:

Original: If you believe that someone has

interfered with your right to register or to decline to register to vote,

your right to privacy in deciding

whether to register or in applying

to register to vote, or your right to

choose your own political party or

other political preference, you may

file a complaint with

Rewrite: If you believe that someone has

interfered with:

n your right to register or to

decline to register to vote,

n your right to privacy in deciding

whether to register or in applying to register to vote, or

n your right to choose your own

political party or other political

preference,

You may file a complaint with— —.

Original: Voter Education Programs are held

in the auditorium at the County

Office Building every Wednesday at

7:00 p.m. during September and

October. These programs include a

discussion of the election process,

voting practice, a question and

answer session, and registration for

new voters.

10
Rewrite: Voter Education Programs

n Learn about elections and voting

n Practice voting

n Get your questions answered

n Register to vote, or update your

registration

Every Wednesday —7 p.m.

September and October, 1995

County Office Building Auditorium

And Finally, Be Careful with

These

n Punctuation and other marks

Colons, semi-colons, exclamation marks,

asterisk (*), dashes (—), and slashes (/) don't

mean much to a lot of readers. You're better off

using simple sentences with periods at the end.

Avoid, for example, constructions like:

q change of address/name

q House No. / RD - Box No.

q Social Security Number*

n Contractions

Poor readers often skip the second half of a

contracted phrase, and therefore read a sentence to mean the opposite of what it says. To

be safe, use the full phrase such as "do not"

instead of "don't."

n Abbreviations and Acronyms

Here are some rules of thumb to follow:

q If the abbreviation is part of everyday

spoken language, such as U.S., TV, IRS,

YMCA, I.D., it is generally not difficult to

read.

q Abbreviations such as Apt., Blvd., Rd., St.,

Jr., and Sr., if used with an address or name,

or if part of an address or name line on a

form, are generally not difficult to read.

q Abbreviations that are commonly used as

writing short-cuts, such as #, @, &, etc.,

e.g., w/, and misc., are unfamiliar to many

readers and should not be used.

q Most other abbreviations, such as Tel. No.,

Soc. Sec. No. or S.S.N., NVRA, and FEC

also are unfamiliar and should not be used.

Example:

Original: If you are requesting your state's

special write-in ballot, indicate here

the reason why you are requesting

the special write-in ballot, i.e.,

isolated area with sporadic mail

service, submarine duty, etc.

Rewrite: If you are asking your state for a

special write-in ballot, say why you

need this ballot. For example, "I am

in an isolated area with sporadic

mail service," or, "I am on submarine

duty."

n Graphics

Illustrations are good, if they are not too

complicated. Tables, charts, graphs, and complex diagrams require higher level reading

skills. Find another way to present the information. If you must use a table or chart, keep it

as simple as possible.

11

Principle Three:

Keep It StraightForward and

Friendly!

Materials that speak to readers in an active,

straightforward, and personal way are more

inviting, more readable, and more effective

than materials that are passive, indirect, and

impersonal.

So, if you want your readers to have more

interest in what you write, to understand

better what you are saying, and to respond

more promptly and correctly to what you are

requesting, here are a few things you can do.

Write in the Active Voice

If the subject of a sentence is doing the

action, the sentence is in the active voice. If the

subject of the sentence is acted upon, the

sentence is in the passive voice.

Example:

Active: I am writing this manual.

Passive: This manual is being written by me.

Compare these sentences:

n The application must be signed by the voter.

n The voter must sign the application.

n You must sign the application.

In the first sentence, the subject (the application) does the action of the verb signed. In the

second and third sentences, the subject (voter)

does the action. The first sentence is in the

passive voice, the second and third are in the

active voice.

As you can see, the second and third sentences are shorter, more straightforward, more

personal, and more readable. They are also

more direct, and you can "picture" what the

subject is doing. This is usually the case with

sentences written in the active voice, so use

the active voice whenever you can.

To edit for passive verbs, look for any form of

to be (is, are, was, were, am, be, being, been)

that is being used with a main verb ending in

-en or -ed. For example, "was rejected," "must

be witnessed," "is being processed," "should be

written," "must be signed," " will be notified."

Stay with the Base Form of aVerb

The base form of a verb is the word that

comes directly from the name of the verb. For

example: to vote - vote; to sign - sign. Don't put

any endings on the verb if you can avoid it. If

you do change the form, you will end up with

an indirect, longer, and more complex sentence.

Compare these sentences:

n This form can be used to register to vote, or

to change your address or name if you are

already registered.

n Use this form to register to vote, or to change your

address or name if you are already registered.

13
n This form must be mailed by

n Mail this form by

n Name printed.

n Print name.

n Original: "Applying to register or declining

to register to vote will not affect

the amount of assistance that you

will be provided by this agency."

n Rewrite: To apply, or to decline, to register

to vote will not affect the amount

of assistance this agency will

provide to you.

or

To register or decline to register to

vote will not affect the amount of

assistance this agency will provide

to you.

Note: The last example is an NVRA cousin to

the NVRA double-negative example noted

earlier. Both cousins are a mess no matter how

you look at it, and both need to be reconsidered.

Like we said, if the basic verb works, use it.

And avoid putting -ion, -tion, -ment, -ante, -

ancy, or -ization on the end of a verb. If you do,

you turn the verb into a noun, and you have to

write the sentence in the passive voice. For

example:

n Base form: to submit - submit

n Polite, active base form: You may submit

your form by mail or in person.

n Direct, active base form: Submit your form

by mail or in person.

n Passive form: Submitting (submission of)

your form may be done by mail or in person.

Don't "beat Around the bush"

If you want to say something, say it.

If someone came up to you at a voter registration booth and asked you a question, would

you say to them, "It is requested that you....,"

or, "According to Public Law 23-89, a voter "?

Not likely. You would probably say something

like, "You should....," "You must...," "You need

to...," or "We need ...."

When you write, do the same thing. Don't be

afraid to use: I, you, it, we, me, us, your, and

other pronouns. They're more straightforward,

friendly, and "real." Speak directly to your

readers instead of talking about them, because

they will be "listening" to you when they read

what you wrote.

Instead of this: Use this:

Applicant's name. Your name.

Voters who register... If you register...

Does voter... Doyou...

Any voter who... If you...

Call your election Call us at...

office at...

Applicant further I further state...

states...

Does voter require Do you need help...

assistance...

Reason for requiring Why do you need

assistance. help?

(There's a good chance that people who need

help aren't going to be insulted by the word

help.)

Speaking of pronouns, there's a good way to

get around the she/he, his/her dilemma.

Make the subject plural and use "their" instead. For example, instead of "The voter

14
should sign his/her name at the bottom of the

form," try "Voters should sign their name at the

bottom of the form." Better yet, use "you" or

"your" instead of "voter" as the subject — "Sign

your name at the bottom of the form."

Two more quick points about being

friendly:

With all due respect to your eighth grade

English teacher, there's nothing wrong in

starting a sentence with a pronoun, preposition, or conjunction. So, use words like: and,

anyone, but, each, or, nor, so, to, and yet; if they

make writing easier. They're friendly words.

There's nothing wrong with, but there is

something offensive about, a sentence like,

"Your application has been rejected." Maybe a

better tone (of voice) would be, "We are sorry

that we could not accept your voter application," or "Your name could not be added to our

voter list, because...." Enough said.

15

Principle Four:

Keep It

Organized!

Readers shouldn't have to search around a

document to find the information they need, or to

know what step to take next in filling out a form.

They also shouldn't have to wonder if something

was "thrown in" where it doesn't belong.

So, here are some "organizing" tips. Some of

them may seem too obvious to deserve mention,

but a review of election materials suggests

otherwise.

n Always title your document - at the top, in

bold-face print, with a word or phrase that

will catch the eye of the reader. For example,

the word "voter" should be used somewhere

in the heading on a voter registration application, or "Have You Moved?" in an "address

verification" notice.

n Put information where readers need it. For

example, if there is a telephone number

readers can call with questions or to get

more information, let the reader know that

in large type up front. If a form is being filled

out in duplicate and you want the writer to

"press down" with the pen, tell them so at

the top of the form, not at the bottom.

n When drafting material, start with the good,

old who, what, where, when, why, and how.

Then rearrange into the order that makes

sense for your particular document.

n Use section headings. They break up narrative text into more manageable chunks, and

guide the reader through the information.

n Avoid beginnings like, "Public Law No. 03-17-

40 requires the Board of Elections to notify

voters of...." The lengthy introduction isn't

necessary, and it won't work to draw in the

reader.

n Present information and instructions in a

step-by-step, logical order that will make

sense to the reader.

n Put need-to-know information up front and

nice-to-know information last.

Need-to-know information is the information the

reader needs in order to understand or be informed of something, or to do something such as

fill out a form. Nice-to-know information can be

anything from an agency's mission statement to

a civics lesson of some sort.

For example, in a voter information piece,

Don't put this: "The right to vote is

a basic right in a democracy. But

you cannot exercise that right if

you are not a registered voter."

Before you put this: Who can register to vote?

Leave the nice-to-know information until

later, to be read by those who have the time,

interest, and ability to read all the way through

the document. Also, if you discover that you

need more space for needed information, or just

more white space on the paper, you'll know

what can be deleted to give you the extra space.

17

Principle Five:

Keep It Neat!

Layout

n Avoid producing a "sea of text." A long,

uninterrupted page of text can be overwhelming for marginal readers, and tiring

for all readers. If a print material looks

intimidating or boring, readers may not even

attempt to read it, even if the writing is

simple.

n Break up the text with white space, headings and subheadings, space between paragraphs, different type styles and sizes,

bullets, underlining, shadowing, color, etc.

Add white space, even if it means cutting

some of that nice-to-know, but not necessary,

text.

n Include wide margins at each side of your

text. Big margins give the eye some "breathing room."

n Avoid straight ("justified") margins on

both sides; especially on the right side. With

justified text, every line is the same length

— they all look alike. And "justified right"

tends to slow down even highly literate and

speedy readers. "Ragged right" margins

make it easier for readers to keep their place,

and pace.

n Avoid centering text. Reading centered

text is tiring on the eyes. Headlines may be

centered, but only if they are no more than

two lines, which is what they should be.

n Design form boxes and lines that:

q match the instructions exactly

q provide room for the information that has

to be entered (especially the signature!)

q fit into a typewriter, instead of "fitting" a

designer's eye, and

q clearly show which boxes are for the applicant, and which are for "official use only."

(By the way, did you know that there are

millions of people who can probably read the

word "office," but not the word "official?")

Type Size

12-point type is recommended as the minimum size for marginal readers. It's also better

for readers with less than perfect eyesight.

With type this size, keep your lines to about 5

inches across, or less.

Type Styles

Serif type, like this: A is easier to read than

sans serif type, like this: A

You can tell serif letters by the little "feet." The

"feet" give each letter a distinctive shape. This

manual is set in a serif type. Our chapter

headings are in a sans serif type. Sans serif

19
type is okay for titles and subheads, but avoid

using it for long amounts of text.

Long stretches of italic type or of boldface

type or of underlined type are also harder to

read than normal type. Italics, boldface, and

underlining slow the reader down. They are

good treatments for words or phrases you want

to emphasize, but don't use either one too often

or for long amounts of text. And be careful of

jazzgi up your text with lots of these, and

other, special type treatments. You may

want to use a special treatment to draw

attention to a certain point, but too much

emphasis can be very distracting.

SENTENCES THAT ARE WRITTEN ALL IN

CAPITAL LETTERS ARE HARD TO READ,

EVEN FOR GOOD READERS. THAT'S

BECAUSE EVERY CAPITAL LETTER HAS

NEARLY THE SAME HEIGHT AND SHAPE,

WHILE LITTLE LETTERS HAVE DIFFERENT

HEIGHTS AND SHAPES:

SHAPE e

THEREFORE, ONLY USE ALL-CAPITAL

LETTERS FOR VERY SHORT HEADLINES.

Inks

Use dark inks. Some of your readers may

have trouble reading text that is screened or in

light ink.

For the same reason, make sure you have good

print quality. It's hard to read a faint photocopy. For a reader who is already struggling,

fi,tde. I trw 4 lm last straw,

Long lines of "reversed" type ( white type

on a black background I can also be hard on

the eyes, and therefore difficult for persons

ho are not strong readers. lou can use a

reverse for short headings, but don't use it

for large chunks of text.

20
Most of you who are reading this manual are

working in an election office that is probably

underfunded and understaffed. You're trying to

"keep up" with registrations, elections, regulations, statutory requirements, mandates, list

maintenance, ballot challenges, record keeping,

and reporting requirements, among other things.

And now you're being asked to take on yet

another responsibility — to communicate more

effectively with your voters. But don't despair!

Writing in plain language is not all that difficult and time-consuming, and in the long run,

could make "keeping up with all those other

things" easier to do.

Here are some pointers for getting the process started and making it work.

Pull Together a Few "Desktop"

Supplies

n A good dictionary and thesaurus. (Even if

you already have these on your computer,

there's a good chance that the person who

programmed the software wasn't thinking

about "plain language.")

n A thorough list of election terminology, along

with definitions and synonyms; which of

course you'll have to develop. (A high school

student doing community service ought to be

able to help you with this).

Pulling It All

Together

q One or two basic grammar books, written

especially for writers.

q A copy of the checklist in Appendix C.

q This manual, and two or three other writingimprovement books (for cross-referencing

purposes). See "How To Create More Readable Materials" in the bibliography in this

manual.

q Any other reference materials listed in the

bibliography that you think would be helpful.

q Plenty of scratch paper and sharpened

pencils.

And that's about it!

Pull Together Some Resource

People

No one should be expected to be both writer

and editor, even if that's the way it has been

done in your office in the past. (It's tough to

edit out jargon, when to you, it's not jargon!)

You'll need some consulting editors and readers

to "test" out your materials. Here are some

options.

q The quickest and easiest, but more expensive, option is to go to the yellow pages and

find a consulting editor. However, this may

be a risky approach to take. Many professional editors know very little about plain

21
language, and as "professionals," they are

not, by definition, your "average" voters.

n Another option is to recruit a few volunteers

and form an ad hoc "editorial board" to use

for focus group testing. For example, you

might recruit a social worker from the social

services department, a staff person from a

local advocacy group, a seasoned poll worker,

a volunteer from the League of Women

Voters, an agency service employee, and a

couple of newly-registered voters. There's

your focus group! As for what to do next,

please see Appendix D.

n Another option is to recruit a literacy professional from a local adult education program,

adult literacy "tutoring" program, or community college developmental English department. Adult literacy programs, in particular,

are often looking for ways in which to become

more involved in community literacy problems

and solutions.

The person you recruit should be someone

who is willing and able to: provide you with

information on the literacy problem in your

community; participate in, or possibly even

facilitate, your focus group testing; and give

you access to some marginally literate readers

who can participate in focus group testing of

your materials.

Pull Together Your Writing Skills

Plain language writing is a skill that is

learned and developed over time; not a formula

that can be plugged in at the last moment. So, it's

best to get the learning process started before

election time comes around again, or before that

next mandate (requiring yet another document)

gets passed down to you from on high.

One step in the learning process is to take a

look at all of your existing materials. Then

select one that needs revision. You'd be surprised at how much you can improve it!

That's all it takes to get started: one document; a commitment on your part to make that

document easier to read and use; and this

manual. The rest is experience. Trust me.

Pull Together the Process

Plain language writing is also a process that

is learned and developed over time:

n It may start with one person. But it takes

everyone in an agency, from the top down, to

institutionalize the process.

n It may develop and grow on its own merits.

But it may need a boost from an administrative policy that commits the agency to writing and speaking in plain language.

n It may start with voter information, but it

may spread to areas such as instructions for

poll workers, signs in offices and polling

places, agency directories, and staff communications.

n It may even reach beyond the agency into

those "higher" places where election language gets written and mandated. But it will

need to be introduced by those who see that

change is necessary, and that change is

possible.

On behalf of all of your voters, and especially

those voters who are only marginally literate,

start pulling!

22
Making It Work

Avoid These Pitfalls

n Rushing it. As you already know, writing

takes time, an d as you're about to discover,

writing in plaiLn language takes even more

time. You'll find that you need more time

than usual to rewrite and edit your work,

talk through rewrites with coworkers and

others, and "test out" the final draft with

willing readers.

"If I'd had more time, I'd have written a

shorter book."

-Mark Twain

n Using hand-me-downs. This is a tactic

that may work if you're trying to save on

clothing expenses, but it probably won't work

as a time or energy-saver on a writing

project. Besides, taking a used publication

and "just cutting it down or revising it,"

doesn't make much sense if you're trying to

develop a new and different writing style. It

would be wiser to start your project from

scratch.

n Clinging to the past. In a plain language

writing project, there's rarely an excuse for

using the words "But we've always...." (used

statutory language, 9 point type, red ink,

upper case letters) — except as an excuse to

keep things the way they were. When this

happens, and it will, use the principles and

techniques in this manual to come up with

your own "But we can do it better by..."

response.

n Sticking to the rules. The principles and

techniques discussed in this manual should

not be treated like iron-clad rules. For example, the shorter way of saying something

is not always the easiest to understand; the

passive voice may work as well as the active

voice; or there's just no easy substitute for a

word like "purge." Creating easy-to-read and

easy-to-use materials means using a lot of

common sense, making many judgment calls,

and settling for some trade-offs.

Get Ready for the Skeptics

Most writing projects involve a lot of people, or

at least ought to — your boss, your co-workers,

an editor, focus group members, the designer,

the printer — and not all of those people are

going to buy into a plain language effort; at

least not right away. Plan ahead for how you're

going to respond to the person who says:

n "We don't want to talk down to people."

n "That's all very nice, but we're on a tight

deadline."

n "But we've been using this form for twenty

years!"

n "It's good enough."

n "How much more will it cost to do it your

way?"

n "Those changes will never get by the legal

department."

23
n "If they can't read this, they ought to go back

to school."

n "If they can't read this, they shouldn't be

voting."

n "Okay, but don't change that section — the

boss wrote it!"

n "But those are the words in the legislation."

n "You better leave it alone. That writer has a

big ego problem."

Hopefully, the information in this manual

will keep you a step ahead of the Shakespeares,

naysayers, legalists, traditionalists, purists,

and elitists.

Build Support for Plain

Language

Changing the way your organization goes

about writing its forms and notices won't be an

easy task. Most people know very little about

the literacy problem, and even less about what

"plain language" means. Add to that the usual

resistance to change in a typical organization,

and you've got your job cut out for you.

However, there are some things you can

do to make your task easier.

n Learn more about the literacy problem in

general, and educate others. (People usually

don't support change unless they are convinced that change is necessary.) There are

some "Background on Literacy" readings

listed in Appendix G.

n Do a little fact-finding about the educational

level of the population you serve, or better

yet, the estimated number of adults in your

area or community who are considered to

have a literacy problem. You can get this

information from your:

q State, regional, or local literacy resource

center

q Public library

24

q Local adult education program, usually

located within the public school system

q Local adult literacy "tutoring" programs.

Note: There's a good chance that your local

white or yellow pages are not all that easy to

read and use. If so, you can get the names and

telephone numbers of the above places by

calling the National Institute for Literacy at

1-800-228-8813.

n After you've read this manual, evaluate your

current voter materials. If there's a particular form, flier, letter, or other document that

you suspect is harder to read or use than you

think it needs to be, rewrite it in plain language. Use it as "your plain language model."

(People don't usually support change unless

they see that it is possible.)

n Get other people involved as soon as you can.

Change in general, and a plain language

writing initiative in particular, happens

when others buy into the project. Besides,

you'll need a willing and diversified team of

consulting editors and readers to "test" out

your writing skills: co-workers, from the boss

to the janitor; friends and neighbors; reading

teachers and adult literacy students; and

other prospective voters, registered or not.

n Last but not least, please share this manual,

or at least its message, with others: legislators, administrators, and other policy-makers; co-workers who write; volunteers who

help voters register; poll workers who help

them vote; and anyone else you think needs

to hear the message.
It's one thing to know what a specialist, such

as the writer of this manual, has to say about

plain language. It's quite another to hear about

it from someone out in the trenches. Here are

some thoughts from one plain language soldier:

Thomas Wilkey, Executive Director of the New

York State Board of Elections.

Q When and why did you see a need for plain

language in New York election materials?

TW I first became aware of the need for plain

language in voting materials when we

redesigned our voter registration form and

were reviewing forms from other states.

The D.C. form caught my eye as being

easy to read in terms of plain language

and overall design. During our project, we

began working with the same people who

designed the D.C. form, and we continue to

work with them in other areas.

Q Do you use plain language in all election

materials o r only for selected materials? If

the latter, h ow do you determine which

materials need to be in plain language?

TW For now, we are concentrating our plain

language efforts on those forms and documents that carry the most critical messages to the largest group of voters, and

that are most critical to election administration. These include voter registration

forms, acknowledgment notices, confirmation notices, and mail-check cards.

Appendix A

A Voice from

the Field

Q Explain some of the particular issues that

came up when you "translated" your voter

registration form into a more readable and

usable format.

TW I must admit, we did run into some initial

resistance from segments of the legislature. Some language used in election

documents is contained in the law, and

this required us to seek legislative approval in changing language. The early

opposition dissipated quickly and everyone

was very pleased with our efforts.

Some legal obstacles will always be a

problem, which is why it is essential that

key legislative staff and advocacy organizations be consulted early in the process in

order to overcome any obstacles.

Q What do you think the main costs and

benefits are of "translating" materials into

plain language — in terms of money, time,

legal obstacles and other factors?

TW I believe that the costs and benefits of

adopting a plain language program are

very significant. The messages that we

send to voters are very important and

could result in someone being inadvertently placed in the wrong polling location

or placed on an inactive list. Anything we

can do to assure that voters can and will

read this information is time well spent.

25
Also, production and mailing are very

expensive and it's absolutely necessary

that these costs not be wasted on materials that can't be read or won't be read.

Q What process do you now have in place to

ensure that new materials will be made

easier to read and use?

TW We routinely send drafts of all proposed

forms to our local election official. This

effort, while it takes additional time, can

yield a wide variety of comments and

suggestions. We are fortunate that our 125

election commissioners and support staff

represent a cross section of our State,

including large urban and small rural

communities. Our first step always involves circulation of early drafts and ideas

to all staff managers, regardless of their

individual interest in the document. This

ensures that a valued group of people will

be involved in the process.

Q How do you test your materials (before

publication) to confirm that they actually

are more readable?

TW I think the simplest method of testing

materials is to have staff members take

drafts home with them to test on their

family, friends, and others who are not

intimately involved in the election process.

This yields good results in terms of readability and usefulness of the materials.

The key questions to be answered in

designing plain language materials are

really quite simple. Sit back yourself, look

at the document, and answer the following

questions:

- Can I read and understand this

document?

- Does it relay information and requirements simply?

- Is it pleasing to the eye?

If you arrive home after a busy day and

the form is in the mail, would you

yourself take time to read it?

- Does it contain, in a prominent location,

a phone number to call if you need help

to understand or fill out the document?

Q Do you have any suggestions for how

voters could or should be used to "test out"

new voter materials? For example, having

a voluntary voter advisory group on call to

review materials.

TW I had thought about expanding our test

group to include a voluntary voter group,

but through the process I just mentioned,

we are routinely reaching out to a diversified group. For now, this appears to be

sufficient. One does have to be careful not

to include "too" many people, as I believe

in the old expression that "too many cooks

spoil the pot."

Q Have you gotten any feedback from county

election administrators, registration

clerks, or others regarding your revised

voter registration forms?

TW All of our feedback so far has been very

positive, and this helps support my future

plans of including other materials in our

plain language program.

Q How do you measure the effectiveness of

your plain language materials?

TW Measuring the effect of your plain language program is very simple. Has the

number of incomplete forms and phone

calls been reduced? This should be one of

your objectives. Tracking problems that

voters are having with materials is also

important, as you will then be able make

corrections in future form design.

26
Q Have you encountered any resistance to

your plain language efforts? If so, from

whom, for what reasons, and how did you

respond?

TW There was some initial resistance from

some members of the Legislature, but

these concerns were addressed quickly. We

are hopefu! that we can convince the

Legislature to allow us to completely

redesign our absentee ballot application

form this year. This would be a radical

change from the present form, and I expect

some resistance.

Involving as many people as possible in

the process is helpful. Change is always

difficult for some people to accept under

any circumstances. Having a core group of

supporters who believe in your goals is

always essential.

Q Ballots are often worded in statutory language (legalese). What, if anything, can you

and other election officials do to encourage

the use of plain language in materials such

as ballots and referendum questions?

TW We presently have a proposed bill before the

Legislature to "test pilot" some new ballot

designs. Our ballots are growing larger each

year, and with the addition of the new

parties, ballots are becoming very crowded.

Selling any kind of change can only be

accomplished through a test program. We

hope we are successful.

Q Have you and your staff tried to influence

others regarding the need for plain language?

If so, how?

TW We've talked this up a great deal, and we

will continue to provide training on this

subject to our county commissioners. It's

important that a "plain language" attitude

be brought into play in every area, including routine correspondence, important

memorandum, and every piece of instructional material that is printed.

Q Do you foresee any major areas in the

election process where having materials

written in plain language will be of critical

importance, such as in implementing the

National Voter Registration Act (NVRA)?

TW The use of clearer, more concise, and more

readable materials was absolutely necessary in our efforts to implement NVRA.

Many new changes are taking place in the

election process, particularly in the areas

of address changes, inactive status, and

fail-safe voting procedures. It is vital that

these changes be addressed in a format

that is easily understood.

Q What advice do you have for other election

officials, or agencies, that want to begin a

plain language initiative?

TW My advice is simple. Look closely at every

document and form you produce and ask

yourself the key questions I mentioned

before. To that I would add: don't overload

materials with too much information and

too much legalese; save the big words to

impress someone else; and save yourself

valuable time, money, and aggravation by

keeping it simple!

Q Are there any other pointers you'd like to

give .

TW Just this. There is always a tendency for

any organization charged with the responsibility of designing forms and other

materials to "fill them up" with as much

information as possible. This is a natural

tendency given the cost of production and

mailing, but I believe that in the end, it's

counterproductive. Too much information

results in fewer people reading these

valuable documents, and in my view, we

should always reduce the information to

that which is absolutely necessary.

27

Appendix B

A Plain Language

Sample from the

Field

In 1990, the District of Columbia Board of

Elections and Ethics (with assistance from a

local literacy program, Push Literacy Action

Now), revised its voter registration form. The

revised form not only captured the attention of

the Washington Post, but also became a model

for many states revising their forms.

When the new form was introduced, Emmett

H. Fremaux, Jr., executive director of the Board

of Elections and Ethics, noted that simplifying

the form removed a significant barrier to voter

participation for persons with reading difficulties, and made it easier for all residents to

register to vote. He further noted that while

past Board efforts had increased opportunities

for citizens to register by increasing the availability of the voter registration form, the new

easier-to-read and easier-to-use form increased

accessibility on another level.

Board staff member, Leona Agouridis, added

that the most important tools used in the

revision process were common sense and a cool

objectivity. She also said that the process could

not have worked without the willingness of

Board staff members to abandon their personal

investment in the old form.

The before-and-after forms, and a guide to

the changes made, are presented here as "living proof' that writing in plain language can be

accomplished, and does make a big difference.

29
Simplifying

Vocabulary

Before

Clearly Print

Residence Address

City Sec.

(NW, N.E., S.W., S.E.)

APT. NO.

Tel. NO. Home: Office:

Party Affiliation

Registration

Declaration

Signature of Registrant

District of Columbia

Mail Registration

Application (MRA)

After

Use pen-please print clearly

Address Where You Live

Circle One: NE NW SE SW

Apartment Number

Daytime Thlephone

Number(s)

Party Registration

Voter Declaration

Signature

Mail-In Voter Registration

Number on

Sample Forms

n Registration Declaration.

Revised.

n Warning Statement.

Revised.

A Guide to the

Changes Made

Cutting

Number on

Sample Forms

n Birth Place.

Not legally required and

not used by the office for

any purpose.

n For Official Use Only.

A change in office

procedure eliminated

the need for this section.

n Printed Name of Registrant.

Not needed.

n Signature of Assistant.

Not legally required and not

used by the office for any

purpose.

n Authorization to Cancel Voter

Registration in Former Jurisdiction.

A change in office procedure eliminated the

need for this section. Eliminating it also cut

out an entire one-sixth of the form, allowing

for a change is form size from a cumbersome

legal size to a standard 8-1/2 x 11. (Sample

not shown here.)

n Note on Party Affiliation. ®

Revised.

30
Organizing

n Registration information details are clearly

labeled, more direct, and friendlier on the

new form.

Note the intimidating tone, jumbled text

styles, and poor layout on the old form.

n Voter Declaration and Warning. On the

new form, the two are "united." On the old

form, they are separate. (# 1 & 2 )

n Party Affiliation Note. Has been moved

from instruction section on old form to Party

Affiliation check-off section of new form. (#3)

n Additional information is set off to the side

and boxed-in on the new form. (#8)

Designing

A visual comparison of the old and new forms

shows the effective use of layout and graphic

design techniques (headings, bold typeface,

bullets, highlighting, boxing, shading, ragged

right text, etc.).

Other

Note the differences in language, organization, and design of the information located on

the back of the old and new forms. (See last

page of this appendix.)

31
MOISTEN, FOLD, SEAL, AND MAIL

DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA MAIL REGISTRATION APPLICATION (MRA)

TO REGISTER TO VOTE, YOU MUST BE:

1. A citizen of the U.S. who has been a resident of the District of Columbia for at least 30 days preceding the

next election and who does not claim voting residence in another state or territory.

2. At [east 18 years old on or before the next Election.

3. Not incarcerated for conviction of a felony.

4. Not mentally incompetent as adjudged by a court of competent jurisdiction.

HOW TO REGISTER:

CLEARLY PRINT IN INK ALL REQUIRED INFORMATION ON THE FORM BELOW.

11 -i Note On Party Affiliation: Only a voter affiliated with a political party qualified

4?) 

to conduct a Primary (Democratic, Republican, or D.C.

Statehood) may vote in a party Primary Election.

Voters who are not affiliated with a political party (independents) and voters who are affiliated with a party

not qualified to conduct a primary election may vote only

in General and Special Elections, and on Initiative or

Referendum Measures.

READ TI! '', REGISTRATION DECLARATION, SIGN YOUR NAME, AND GIVE THE DATE. Also, PRINT your

complete name on the line provided. If assistance is required to complete this application. obtain the signature of the

person assisting you.

The Board will REJECT any application that does not contain a complete NAME, ADDRESS, DATE OF BIRTH, AND

SIGNATURE.
AFTER

Mail-In Voter Registration Form

You can use Ibis form to:

• register to vote in the District of Columbia

• let us know that your name or address has changed

• register with a party or change parties

To register to vote in D.C., you must:

• be a U.S. citizen

• be a D.C. resident

• be at least 18 years old on or before the next election

• not be in jail for a felony conviction

• not have been judged "mentally incompetent" by a

court of law

• not claim the right to vote anywhere outside D.C.

Questions? Call 727-2525

Hearing-impaired people with TDD, call 639-8916

InformaciOn en espanol: Si le interesa obtener este

formulario en espaiiol, llame al 727-2525.
First Fold Here First Fold Here

HAVE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE BEFORE? YES q NO LJ

IF THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION IS YES — YOU MUST COMPLETE AND

SIGN THIS FORM TO CANCEL YOUR FORMER VOTER REGISTRATION

AUTHORIZATION TO CANCEL VOTER REGISTRATION IN FORMER JURISDICTION

DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA BOARD OF ELECTIONS AND ETHICS

Datehereby authorize cancellation

PRINT NAME

of my previous voter registration in:

CITY COUNTY STATE

My last address there was:

Date of Birth:

SIGNATURE

BEFORE—BACK OF FORM

AFTER—BACK OF FORM

Did you remember to:

1. Write your full name, address and date of birth (in boxes 2, 3 and 5).

2. Sign and date the form (in box 10).

Deadline:

The voter registration deadline is 30 days before the next election. If

you mail this form, it must be postmarked by that date. If you miss the

deadline, you will not be registered in time to vote.

If you are qualified and the information on your form is complete, we will add your name to

the District's voter roll. We will then mail you a voter card. This card will tell you where to vote.

***

Questions? Call 727-2525

Hearing-impaired people with TDD, call 639-8916

District of Columbia Board of Elections and Ethics

34
Planning

n Have you pulled together the plain language

reference materials and resource people

suggested in this manual?

n Have you provided enough time in your

production schedule to apply the plain language principles and techniques, including

ample time for review and revision of your

publication?

n Have you determined your purpose for

writing, who your target audience is, what

your main message is going to be, and what

style and format you should use?

Writing

n Are you using the spoken vocabulary of your

target audience?

n If you had no choice but to use jargon or

other difficult words that your readers may

not know, have you defined them or used

them in a way that will help readers understand what they mean?

n Are your sentences short, simple, specific,

direct and in the active voice?

n Have you avoided using contractions, uncommon abbreviations, acronyms, negative

words, verbs with endings, and punctuation

marks (other than the basic comma, period,

and question mark)?

Appendix C

A Checklist

for Writers

n Are your paragraphs short? Have you listed

and bulleted information where you can,

instead of using formal paragraphs?

n Are you writing as if you are talking to your

reader?

n Are you writing in the active voice?

n Are the concepts you present familiar to the

audience or supported with examples?

n Have you avoided concepts that may be beyond

the skills or outside the culture of your readers

(i.e., metaphors, references or illustrations of

things that they may not be familiar with)?

Organizing

n Is it clear what your message is, why it is

important, and what the reader should do

with it, if anything?

n Have the "who," "what," "where," "when,"

"why," and "how" been covered and placed in

the best order?

n If you ask readers to take action, do you give

concrete, clear directions on how to do so?

n Have you put the need-to-know information

first, leaving the nice-to-know information

for last by putting it to the side or on the

back, or even deleting it?

n Do you give clear information to readers on

where they can get more information if they

need it?

35
n Are you using headings or guide questions to

lead the reader along?

n Are you breaking your text into "chunks" of

information that your readers can handle

easily?

Designing

n Have you avoided long strings of capital

letters, bold, italics, or other sorts of fancy

type that are hard on the eyes?

n Do you have plenty of white space, including

wide margins?

n Is the design clear and logical so that it is

easy for the reader to figure out where to

start reading, and where to go, or what to do,

next?

n Are the type size, type styles, and selected

colors easy to read?

n If you have used illustrations, are they

simple and easy to follow?

Editing

n Have you included all of the plain language

principles and techniques in your own,

preliminary editing?

n Has at least one other person edited your

writing, and is that person familiar with

plain language principles and techniques?

n Did you get feedback on your draft publication

from your target audience, either informally, or

through formal focus group testing?

n If you made changes based on the feedback

you received, have you asked for additional

feedback on your revised version?

36
Appendix D

About Focus

Group Testing

The best way to find out how readable your

documents are is to test them out on some

readers. One way to do that is through focus

group testing. A few people, guided by a facilitator, are asked to read or fill out a document,

answer the facilitator's questions, ask their

own questions, and make suggestions for

changing the document.

Focus group testing will not give you quantitative information, such as what percentage of your

readers will understand your document, but it

will provide valuable qualitative information.

Forming a Focus Group

The focus group should include a small

number of voters. Researchers recommend

anywhere from five to twelve; smaller groups

are less lively, and larger groups make it

harder for each individual to participate and

harder for the moderator to control and collect

information.

How you select the focus group members will

depend on what your document's purpose is.

For example, if you are testing out a new voter

registration form, a focus group made up of

unregistered voters would be most effective.

It is best if participants do not know each

other, because people often speak more freely in

front of strangers. Also, try to get participants

who have not taken part in many focus groups

before so that you get fresh and candid responses. Ideally, while you should let participants know in general what kind of material

they will be reviewing, they should not know

the specific topic ahead of time. This will

ensure more spontaneous responses.

To find focus group members with lower-level

reading skills, try contacting your local literacy

program, or a social services agency. (See "Literacy Programs and Related Organizations" in

Appendix G.)

Focus groups can be conducted formally or

informally, depending on your resources and the

kind of information you need. Providing refreshments or lunch, and a stipend or gift, for participants is a good idea. If you ask an organization

(such as a literacy program) to help you form and

conduct a focus group, you might also think

about offering some form of compensation to the

organization.

Conducting the Focus Group

Basically, a focus group is conducted by a

facilitator who asks open-ended questions in a

non-threatening way so that participants are

encouraged to express their knowledge and

feelings.

After the introductions, tape record the

discussion, with the recorder in full view.

Explain that you want to record comments

37
because all points of view are important and it

is impossible to write them all down.

Here are some typical questions:

n What's the purpose of this (document)?

n What is the main idea this (sentence, paragraph, entire document) is trying to get

across to you?

n Are you being asked to do something (such as

fill out a form)? If so:

q What are you being asked to do?

111 Are the instructions clear?

q Are the questions clear?

q Is there any part of the form you didn't

understand?

n Is there something you find that's confusing?

n Would you say this (word, sentence, paragraph, entire document) is easy to understand, or hard to understand?

n Were there any words that you had trouble

with?

n What do you like (not like) about this document?

n In your opinion, was the message talking to

you or someone like you? If not, who do you

think it was talking to?

n Did you find the message: interesting, not

interesting; informative, not informative?

n What do you know now that you did not

know before you read this document?

Ask participants to explain how they would

tell a friend the information in the message. This

way you can get some clues as to how well they

understood the message, and also get a sense of

the kind of language they would use to convey it.

You can also ask participants to circle words

or underline sentences that were hard for them

to read, or that they did not know the meaning

of. Ask them what words or phrases they might

use instead.

Using the Information

After the session, listen to the tape several

times. If you have time, make a transcript,

noting hesitations, tones of voice, silences, and

the like. If not, at least record participants'

questions and answers, and the words and

expressions they used.

After you have created a draft which takes

into account your findings from the focus

group, you may want to re-test the document

with another group.

Individual Testing

A one-on-one dialog can provide more specific

information about how well individuals read,

comprehend, or use your document. These

dialogs can be particularly helpful when you

are at the final draft stage. You can conduct the

interview much like the focus group, in terms

of the questions you ask, and you can ask the

individual to read the document to you to get a

sense of whether there are any stumbling

points.

Questionnaires

Questionnaires can be useful if you want to

test your document with subjects from many

regions, or if you need to communicate by mail.

Depending on the literacy skills of your subjects,

they should be able to fill out your questionnaire

by themselves or do so with assistance. In any

case, you will want to make the questionnaire

itself easy to read and fill out. Therefore, use a

check-off, such as:

How easy or hard was the booklet to read?

• Very easy

• Easy

• Just right

o A little hard

• Very hard

38
Readability formulas are tools you can use to

get a general sense of the reading ease or

difficulty of a text. Readability formulas measure various parts of a text, such as the number of long words, the number of words per

sentence, or the number of words that appear

on a "familiar words" list. They assign a fixed

numerical score that indicates a "reading level"

for your text.

Readability formulas provide only a crude

gauge of readability. They should be used only as

a guide, not as an absolute indicator of readability.

Among their drawbacks, readability formulas do

not take into account:

n context

n the concreteness or abstractness of the language used

n clarity of style

n design

n the reader's experiences and reading skills

Also, readability formulas are based on assumptions that are not always true — such as

that longer words are always harder to read

than shorter words, or that the shortest way of

saying something is always the easiest to read.

Readability formulas don't all calculate grade

level the same way, so different formulas may

give you different scores for the same passage.

Appendix E

About Readability

Formulas

Another problem with readability formulas is

that you have to have a fair amount of text —

about 100 words or more — in order to get a

score. Some texts may be too short to apply a

formula.

Nonetheless, readability formulas can be

useful, for example:

n to get a general sense of how hard or easy

something is to read

n to compare two drafts of the same manuscript

n to have "impressive" numerical data that you

can use to persuade your publication's decisionmakers that a manuscript needs rewriting!

You can calculate readability formulas

manually or by computer. On the next page is a

readability formula that can be calculated

manually.

For additional information on readability

formulas and software, please see Appendix G.

39
INSTRUCTIONS FOR USING THE FOG INDEX CREATED BY ROBERT GUNNING

1. Count off a 100-word sample. Sample 1 Sample 2 Sample 3 Sample 4

2. Count the number of complete

sentences in the sample.

3. Count the total number of words

in the complete sentences.

4. Find the average sentence length

(#3 + #2).

5. Count the number of words of

three or more syllables in the entire 100-word passage.

6. Add the answers to #4 (average

number of words per sentence) and

#5 (long words).

7. Multiply your answer to #6 by

the constant .4 (4/10) to get your

approximate grade-in-school

reading level.

NOTES

n For longer materials (more than one page), this process should be repeated every few pages to obtain

an average readability across the whole text. Count numbers and symbols as words.

n Count each part of a hyphenated word as a word (for example, "merry-go-round" is three words).

n Count the syllables that you hear (for example, "advised" is two words and "advising" is three).

n Count the part of a sentence after a colon (:), semicolon (;) or dash (—) as a new sentence.

40
Appendix F

Word Exchange

List

Instead of: Try Using:

accompany go with

accordingly so

accurate correct, right

actual real

additional more

adjacent to next to

advantageous helpful

adjudged judged, sentenced, convicted

adversely affect hurt

affix put, place

affiliation with choose, register with

anticipate expect

apparent clear, plain

applicant/applicant's you/your

approximately about

ascertain find out, learn

as prescribed by under

assist/assistance help, aid

at the present time now

attached herewith is here is

attempt try

41
be in the position to can

by authority of by law

close proximity to near

commence start, begin

comply with follow

component part

comprises includes, forms

concept idea

concerning about, on

consequently so

consider think about

constitutes is, makes up

consult ask, check with, talk to, meet

contains has

cooperate help

correct (address) right

current residence home address, address where you now live

currently now (or leave out)

decline choose not to

delete cut, drop

demonstrate show

designate choose, name

desire wish, want

determine decide, find

diagram map

digits numbers

disclose show, give

disclosure of giving

discontinue end, drop, stop

42
discuss talk about

disseminate send out, give out, pass out, hand out

domicile home, where you live

due to the fact that because, since, due to

duplicate copy

during that time while

e.g. for example

elect choose, pick

eligible to enroll can register, join, sign up

eliminate cut, stop, drop

employ use

encourage urge

endeavor try

ensure make sure

establish set up, prove, show

evaluated checked

evident clear

examine check, look at

excessive number of too many

exhibit show

expeditiously quickly, fast, soon, right away

explain show, tell

facilitate ease, help

failed to did not

finalize finish, complete

forfeit give up, lose

for administrative purposes only for record-keeping only, for office use only

for the purpose of for, to

for the reason that because, since

43
forward send

furnish give, send

has the capability can

henceforth from now on

hereby authorize authorize, allow, permit, approve

herein here

however but

identical to same as

identify name, find, show

identification ID

i.e. that is

immediately now, right away, as soon as possible

in accordance with by, under

in an effort to to

inasmuch as since

in conjunction with with

incorporate combine, join

incorrect wrong, not correct

indicate say, show, write in

initiate start

in lieu of instead of

in order that

in order to

inquiries

in regard to

internal use

in the amount of

in the course of

in the event that

44

so

to

questions

about, on

office use

for

in, during

if
in the near future soon

in view of since

in view of the fact because

it is essential must

it is requested that please

justify prove

legislation law

limited number few

limitations limits

location place

locality area, place

maintain keep up to date

majority most, greatest

modify change

monitor check, watch

name of applicant name, your name

non-voting not voting

notify tell, let know

numerous many, a lot

objective goal, aim, purpose

obligated must

observe see

obtain get

on a monthly basis monthly

on a yearly basis yearly

on the basis of because, since

45
on the part of by

operate run, work

operational working

optimum best, greatest, most

participate take part

perform do

permit let

pertaining to about, of, on

physical location location

political parties parties

portion part

possess have, own

preclude prevent

premises building

prepared ready

previous before, past

previous name name before

previously registered registered before

prior to before

procedures steps, rules, ways

proceed move on, do, go on, try

promptly right away, as soon as you can

propounded asked

provide give, say

provided that if

qualifications conditions (in some

cases)

46
reason for why

receive get

regarding about, of, on

registration process registration

regulation rule, law

relating to about, on

relocate move

remain stay

remainder rest

request/requested ask/asked for

require must, need

require assistance need help

residence address home address, address where you live

retain keep

reverse side other side

review look over, go over, check over

selection choice

similar the same as, like

solicit ask for

state say

statutory by law, legal

submit send, give

subsequent next

subsequent to after

subsequently later

substantial large, real, strong

supplies gives

sufficient enough

47
terminate end, stop

therefore so

to indicate gender for gender

transmit send, give

transpire happen

until such time as until

utilize use

validate confirm

via by way of, through,

in, on,

warrant call for, permit, allow

whenever when

whereas since

with reference to about

with regard to about

you are obligated to you must

your place of residence where you live

Add your own:

48
Background on Literacy

n Fox, Michael. A Look At Illiteracy Today: The

Problems, The Solutions, The Alternatives.

Washington, D.C.: PLAN, Inc., 1986.

This paper suggests that, given the complex

dimensions of illiteracy, the most effective

approach for dealing with the problem is to

create a wide range of literacy support

services that go beyond teaching reading,

including making materials more readable.

Available for $6.25 from PLAN, Inc., 1528

Pennsylvania Ave., SE, Washington, DC,

20003. (202) 547-8903, Fax (202) 547-2529.

n Harman, David. Illiteracy: A National

Dilemma. New York: Prentice Hall Regents,

1987.

This analytical but very readable book looks

at the facts of the illiteracy problem and

outlines the sobering implications. The

author makes recommendations for farreaching solutions rather than superficial

"quick fixes."

n Kirsch, Irwin, et al. Adult Literacy in

America: A First Look at the Results of the

National Adult Literacy Survey. September,

1993. Available for $12 from the Government

Printing Office. GPO Stock Number:

065-000-00588-3.

Appendix G

Bibliography

n Kozol, Jonathan. Illiterate America. New

York: New American Library, 1985.

An eloquent discussion of the "illiteracy

problem" and a plan to mobilize America to

work toward a solution; this is the book that

got America talking about the issue.

How to Create More Readable

Materials

n American Society for Training and Development (ASTD). Be A Better Writer, 1986.

Part of ASTD's series of "Info-Line" guidelines, this volume presents helpful writing

strategies, including a "Shorter the Better"

word substitution list and a glossary of

misused words. Available for $10 plus $1.50

shipping and handling from ASTD, 1640

Duke Street, P.O. Box 1443, Alexandria, VA

22313, (703) 683-8100.

n Bailey, Jr., Edward P. Writing Clearly: A

Contemporary Approach. Columbus, Ohio:

Charles E. Merrill Publishing Co., 1984.

This textbook includes several sections on how

to write to "make it readable" and to communicate to a specific audience. Exercises are

included.

49
n Baker, Catherine, E. Just Say It: How To

Write For Readers Who Don't Read Well. A

hands-on training "workshop" for writers;

includes plain language examples and exercises. Available for $54 from PLAN, Inc.,

1528 Pennsylvania Ave., SE, Washington,

DC, 20003. (202) 547-8903, Fax (202)

547-2529.

Please Note: Much of the material in this

manual was taken from this resource; with

permission.

n Bates, Jefferson D. Writing With Precision:

How To Write So That You Cannot Possibly

Be Misunderstood. Washington, D.C.: Acropolis Books, 1988 (rev.).

Another good textbook that covers the

ground rules for clear writing.

n Bell, Jim and Anne Trussler. Literacy Audit

for Social Agencies. Calgary, Alberta,

Canada: Calgary Adult Literacy Awareness

Project, 1992.

This kit helps organizations assess how userfriendly they are (considering their procedures as well as their print materials) for

adults who have trouble reading and writing

in English. It was produced in consultation

with several Calgary social agencies. Available free from the United Way of Calgary,

120 — 13th Ave., S.E., Calgary, Alberta

Canada T2G 1B3, (403) 263-0720.

n Bhola, H.S. Writing for New Literates: The

Design, Delivery and Evaluation of a Writers'

Workshop in Zambia. German Foundation

for International Development, 1984.

This 36-page paper was prepared for Workshops for Writers of Reading Materials for

Adult and Continuing Education Materials, conducted in Malawi and Botswana in

1984. The author explains how workshop

participants assessed need and produced

materials for use by "new literates." The

author documents how hard it was, even

for well-intentioned people, to get into the

mindset of writing clearly. Available from

ERIC, Document ED 258 225.

n Felker, Daniel, B. et al. Guidelines for Document Designers. Washington, D.C.: Document

Design Center, 1981.

Twenty-five guidelines cover organization,

clear writing, and use of graphics and typography. The 171-page manual is available for

$12.95 from the Document Design Center,

American Institutes for Research, 3333 K

Street, N.W., Washington, D.C. 20008, (202)

342-5000.

n Flesch, Rudolf. How to Write Plain English:

A Book for Lawyers and Consumers. New

York: Harper and Row, 1979.

This early classic of the "plain English"

movement aims at translating legalese into

understandable language for the (literate)

consumer. It also explains the Flesch readability formula.

n Multiculturalism and Citizenship Canada,

National Literacy Secretariat. Plain Language Clear and Simple (also available in

French as Pour un style clair et simple).

Ottawa, Canada: Canada Communication

Group-Publishing, 1991.

This 55-page guide (CCG-P Code 027901),

published by an advisory group representing

14 Canadian federal departments, uses

examples from government and other

sources to show how to write to communicate

simply. It is also available in audio cassette

(CCG-P Code 027902) and braille (CCG-P

Code 027903). Copies are available for

US$8.35 plus US$3.50 shipping from the

Canada Communication Group-Publishing,

Ottawa, Ontario, Canada K1A 0S9, (819)

997-9900.

50
n Nore, Gordon. Clear Lines: How to Compose

and Design Clear Language Documents for

the Workplace. Toronto, Canada: Frontier

College, 1991.

This 84-page manual focuses on readability

in workplace materials. It covers the importance of clear language to Canada, principles

of clear writing, and how-to-do-it information, including before-and-after samples.

Available for CAN$15 plus CAN$2 postage

from Learning in the Workplace, Frontier

College, 35 Jackes Avenue, Toronto, Ontario,

Canada M4T 1E2, (416) 923-3591. A 16-

minute video, called The Clear Writer's Hit

Squad, is also available for CAN$125.

n Ross-Larson, Bruce. Edit Yourself. New York:

W. W. North and Co., 1982.

A book geared toward making bureaucratese

more readable.

n U.S. Department of the Air Force. U.S. Air

Force Effective Writing Course. Washington,

D.C.: U.S. Department of the Air Force, 1980.

This 71-page manual is intended to help

military personnel abandon their

bureaucratese. It includes lots of examples

(mostly military) and lots of opportunities to

practice new skills. The aim is to produce

good writing for literate readers. Available

for $4.75 from the Government Printing

Office, Stock Number 008-070-00444-5.

n U.S. Department of Health and Human

Services. Making Health Communication

Programs Work: A Planners Guide. Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Health and

Human Services, 1989.

This 131-page guide to production of health

communications material covers all aspects

of multimedia planning, including readability and pre-testing. Available as National

Institutes of Health Publication No. 89-1493,

free from the Office of Cancer Communications, National Cancer Institute, Building

31, Room 4B43, Bethesda, MD 20892, (800)

4–CANCER.

About Readability Formulas

n Davison, Alice and Robert N. Kantor. "On the

Failure of Readability Formulas to Define

Readable Tests: A Case Study from Adaptations." Reading Research Quarterly 17

(November 1982): 187-209.

The authors report that shortening sentences

and substituting vocabulary to meet the

criteria of readability formulas do not necessarily increase readability; rather, the most

successful adaptations are a result of conscientious, careful writing. "We urge writers to

rely on their own judgments about language

which is appropriate for the intended reader,

and not on stereotyped notions, or readability formulas."

n Standal, Timothy C. "Readability Formulas:

What's Out, What's In?" Reading Teachers 31

(March 1978): 642-646.

This overview of 30 years of research in

readability concludes that formulas can at

best serve only as general indicators, because

they cannot account for the interests and

experience of readers.

n Trapini, Fred and Sean Walmsley. "Five

Readability Estimates: Differential Effects of

Simplifying a Document." Journal of Reading 24 (February 1981): 398-403.

A Blue Cross/Blue Shield brochure was simplified in four ways: through synonym substitutions, sentence simplification, synonym and

sentence modification combined, and subjective

rewriting. Assessment using the Dale-Chall,

Harris Jacobson, Fry, SMOG, and Flesch readability measures showed a range of scores for

the five approaches. The conclusion is that

writers trying to lower the readability of a

51
printed material should be wary of merely

editing to the particular formula being applied.

Readability Software

n Grammatic V

A grammar-checking software that includes

a readability calculation. Available in PC

and Macintosh versions from computer

software vendors or for $79.95 from

Diskovery, 11703–L Fair Oaks Mall, Fairfax,

VA 22033, (703) 591-3475.

n Readability Estimator.

Calculates readability based on several

formulas. Available in Apple II/IIGS and

IBM-compatible versions (the IBM-compatible version is faster and improved) for

$49.95 plus shipping (call for shipping rate)

from Berta-Max, Inc., 2109 T Avenue, Unit

2, Anacortes, WA 98221, (206) 293-1978.

n Readability Calculations.

This software analyzes a document's readability level and provides a score derived

from nine different readability formulas.

Available in an Apple II version for $44.95

and a PC version for $49.95, from

Micropower and Light Co., 8814 Sanshire

Avenue, Dallas, TX 75231, (214) 553-0105.

n RightWriter.

This software analyzes documents for errors in

grammar, style, usage, and punctuation and

will highlight weak language, complex language, lengthy sentences, clichés, ambiguities,

incorrect word usage, etc. A readability analysis

is provided using the Flesch-Kincaid formula

(based on average sentence length and average

number of syllables per word). Versions for

DOS, Windows, Macintosh, and Network

computers are available from computer software vendors or for $95 plus $6.50 handling

from Que Software, 11711 North College Avenue, Carmel, IN 46032, (800) 992-0244.

Using Focus Groups

n Debus, M. Handbook for Excellence in Focus

Group Research. Washington D.C.: Academy

for Educational Development, 1988.

This 55-page manual provides detailed

guidelines for using focus groups and individual interviews to do market research. (It

does not specifically address the topic of

using focus groups to determine readability.)

Available for $10 from AED, 1255 23rd

Street, N.W., Washington D.C. 20037, (202)

862-1900.

n Folch-Lyon, Everlyn and John F. Trost.

"Conducting Focus Group Sessions." Studies

in Family Planning 12 (December 1981):

443-449.

This basic introduction to focus group

research tells how to go about it, from

prewriting to pretesting materials.

Literacy Programs and Related

Organizations

n Laubach Literacy Action.

A national literacy organization with a

network of tutoring programs. Laubach

Literacy Action, 1320 Jamesville Avenue,

PO. Box 131, Syracuse, NY 13210, (315)

422-9121.

n Literacy Volunteers of America.

A national literacy organization with a

network of tutoring programs. Literacy

Volunteers of America, 5795 Widewaters

Parkway, Syracuse, NY 13214, (315) 445-

8000.

n National Institute for Literacy

Established by the National Literacy Act, the

institute is responsible for coordination on

adult literacy policy among the federal

agencies, research and dissemination, technical assistance, and program development.

52
Contact National Institute for Literacy, 800

Connecticut Avenue, N.W., Suite 200, Washington, DC 20202-7560, (202) 632-1500.

n U.S. Department of Education.

For information on literacy programs and

practices, contact the Office of Vocational and

Adult Education's Clearinghouse on Adult

Education, Mary E. Switzer Building, 330 C

Street, S.W., Washington, DC 20202, (202)

205-9685. Also, the Office of Educational

Research and lmprovement's Education

Information Branch maintains statistics and

research information. OERI, Washington, DC

20208-5650, (800) 424-1616 or (202)

219-1513.

53

Other titles in our Innovations series include:

n Vol 1: The Voting Authority Card

n Vol 2: Optical Scanning Technology for Purposes Other Than Ballot Counting

n Vol 3: Election Signature Retreival Systems

n Vol 4: Using NCOA Files for Verifying Voter Registration Lists

n Vol 5: Agency Voter Registration Programs

n Vol 6: Motor Voter Registration Programs

n Vol 7: Mail Registration Programs

n Vol 8: Election Document Retention in an Age of High Technology

n Vol 9: Early Voting

n Vol 10: Ballot Security and Accountability

n Vol 11: All-Mail-Ballot Elections

n Vol 12: The Electronic Transmission of Election Materials
For information about other

Innovations in Election Administration

contact

Office of Election Administration

Federal Election Commission

999 E. Street, N.W.

Washington, D.C. 20463

Toll Free 800/424-9530

Direct 202/219-3670

FAX 202/219-8500

e-mail bkimberling@fec.gov

Cut Here

FEDERAL ELECTION COMMISSION

WASHINGTON, DC 20463 Bulk Rate Mail

Postage and Fees Paid

Federal Election Commission

Permit Number G-31

Official Business

Penalty for Private

Use, $300