U.S. Department of Health & Human Services: Office of Public Health and Science - Office of Population Affairs 

Many Teens Are Saying “No.” DON’T

BE FOOLED into thinking most teenagers are having

sex. THEY AREN’T! There's a lot to know and think

about before you decide to say "yes" to having sex.

Teen Talk #1 

“You Are More

Than Just a

Body”

During the teen years, you may be 

strongly attracted to another 

person. Your body may send you 

strong messages that make you 

want to get closer to that person. 

But your body won’t tell you how 

having sex now may harm you. 

You may not know that: 

Almost 1,000,000 teens become

pregnant each year. Abstinence — 

not having sex — is the only 100% 

sure way to protect against the risk 

of pregnancy. 

Teens are more likely to have 

problems during pregnancy. 

Babies of young, teen mothers are 

more likely to be born with serious 

health problems. 

Sexually transmitted diseases 

(STDs) are at epidemic levels. 

Abstinence — not having sex — is 

the most effective way to avoid 

herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, human 

papillomavirus (HPV), chlamydia, 

and HIV/AIDS. One in four teens 

who has sex gets an STD. 

“You Are More

Than Feelings”

Sexual feelings can be pretty 

strong! So think before you act. 

Think about your future. Think 

about the consequences. 

Think about yourself! Ask

yourself, “Is it better to wait for 

sex with my life partner?” 

STDs can be painful. They can 

make it impossible to have a 

baby. Some are incurable, and 

some may even cause death. 

Face it! Sex for teens is pretty 

risky to your body, feelings and 

future!

Some

Questions To

Ask Yourself

There’s a lot to know before 

making your decision about 

whether to say “yes” or “no” to 

having sex. Here’s a checklist 

to help you decide: 

Yes No 

 When I get married,  

will I be glad I waited 

to have sex? 

 Would my parents  

approve of me 

having sex now? 

 If I have a child, am   

I responsible enough 

to provide for its 

emotional and 

financial support? 

 If the relationship  

breaks up, will I be 

glad I had sex with 

this person? 

 Am I sure no one is  

pushing me into 

having sex? 

 Do I know how to tell  

my partner I don’t want 

to have sex now? 

 Am I absolutely sure  

my partner is not 

infected with an STD 

including HIV/AIDS? 

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Talk

If any of your answers to these 

questions is “NO,” then you’d 

U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH & HUMAN SERVICES better WAIT. Office of Public Health and Science 

Office of Population Affairs 
“Decisions about sex may be the most

important decisions you’ll ever make,

so think before you act.”

“Should I Have

Sex Now Or

Should I Wait?”

It’s true some teens decide to go 

ahead. But you'll have to live with the 

consequences of your decision. 

Ask yourself these questions 

before making up your mind: 

 If we're fully committed as a 

couple, why not wait until we're 

married?

 Am I willing to risk STDs, including 

HIV/AIDS, and maybe becoming 

sterile so I can't have a baby? 

 Am I willing to risk getting 

pregnant or getting someone 

pregnant?

 Am I ready and able to support a 

child on my own? 

 Can I handle the guilt and conflict 

I may feel? 

 Will my decision hurt others — my 

parents, my friends? 

“What Should I

Know If I Decide

Not to Have

Sex?”

Contrary to rumor, at least half of all 

teens decide not to have sex. Many 

teens are worried about hurting the 

other person’s feelings. BUT it’s not 

so hard to say “NO” and still remain 

friends. For example, you might say: 

 “I like you a lot, but I’m just not 

ready to have sex.” 

 “I don’t believe in having sex 

before marriage. I want to wait.” 

January 1998, Updated March 2003, Revised September 2005 

 “I enjoy being with you, but I 

don’t think I’m old enough to 

have sex.” 

 “I don’t feel like I have to give 

you a reason for not having 

sex. It’s just my decision.” 

ALSO, there are different ways to 

show affection for another person 

without having sex. 

Try to avoid situations where 

sexual feelings become strong. 

“Stopping” is much harder then. 

Talk about your feelings and what 

seems right for you. Stay busy with 

sports and group activities. 

If you and your partner can’t 

agree, then maybe you need to 

find someone else whose beliefs 

are closer to your own. 

“What Should I

Know About

Pressure?”

Be Popular, Be Part of The 

In-Crowd, Be a Man / Be a Woman, 

Everybody’s Doing It, Sex Is Fun, If 

It Feels Good, Do It 

It comes from everywhere... 

advertising, friends, movies, 

TV shows, songs, and books... 

BUT STOP AND THINK. 

Will having sex really make you 

more popular, more mature, or 

more desirable? Probably not. In 

fact, having sex may even cause 

your partner to lose interest. The 

one sure thing about having sex is 

that you may be in for problems 

you don't want to deal with. 

“What Should I

Know About

Boy/Girl

Relationships?”

They’re great...but good 

relationships don’t develop 

overnight. They take time. Sex is 

not what makes a relationship 

work.

Watch out for lines like, “If you 

care about me, you’ll have sex 

with me.” 

 You don’t have to have sex 

with someone to prove you like 

or love them. 

 Sex should never be used to 

pay someone back for 

something...all you have to say 

is “Thank you.” 

 Sharing time, thoughts, beliefs, 

feelings, and most of all, 

mutual respect, is what makes 

a relationship strong. 

 Saying “No” can be the best 

way to say “I love you.” 

“Where Can I

Get Information

That Will Help

Me?”

If you want more information or 

help, talk to someone who cares 

about you. Ask your parents, an 

older brother or sister, other family 

members, or an adult you feel will 

listen and give you good advice. 

There are people and 

organizations in your community 

who want to help — your family 

doctor; your priest, minister, or 

rabbi; your school nurse or 

counselor; or local health-care 

providers.

For additional copies, please contact: Office of Population Affairs Clearinghouse 

E-mail: clearinghouse@dhhsopa.net • Phone: 1–866–640–7827 • Fax: 1–866–592–3299 

Copies available for download at Web site: http://opa.osophs.dhhs.gov/pubs/publications.html