Most parents have heard that “an

ounce of prevention is worth a pound

of cure” and it’s especially true with

self-esteem in children. All children

need love and appreciation and thrive

on positive attention. Yet, how often

do parents forget to use words of encouragement such as, “that’s right,”

“wonderful,” or “good job”? No matter the age of children or adolescents,

good parent-child communication is

essential for raising children with selfesteem and confidence.

Self-esteem is an indicator of good

mental health. It is how we feel about

ourselves. Poor self-esteem is nothing

to be blamed for, ashamed of, or embarrassed about. Some self-doubt,

particularly during adolescence, is

normal—even healthy—but poor

self-esteem should not be ignored. In

some instances, it can be a symptom

of a mental health disorder or emotional disturbance.

Parents can play important roles

in helping their children feel better

about themselves and developing

greater confidence. Doing this is important because children with good

self-esteem:

• Act independently

• Assume responsibility

• Take pride in their

accomplishments

• Tolerate frustration

• Handle peer pressure

appropriately

• Attempt new tasks and

challenges

• Handle positive and negative

emotions

• Offer assistance to others

Words and actions have great impact on the confidence of children,

and children, including adolescents,

remember the positive statements

parents and caregivers say to them.

Phrases such as “I like the way

you...” or “You are improving at...”

or “I appreciate the way you...”

should be used on a daily basis. Parents also can smile, nod, wink, pat

on the back, or hug a child to show

attention and appreciation.

What else can parents do? • Be generous with praise. Parents

must develop the habit of looking for

situations in which children are doing good jobs, displaying talents, or

demonstrating positive character

traits. Remember to praise children

for jobs well done and for effort. • Teach positive self-statements.

It is important for parents to redirect

children’s inaccurate or negative beliefs about themselves and to teach

them how to think in positive ways. • Avoid criticism that takes the

form of ridicule or shame. Blame

and negative judgments are at the

core of poor self-esteem and can lead

to emotional disorders. • Teach children about decisionmaking and to recognize when they

have made good decisions. Let them

“own” their problems. If they solve

them, they gain confidence in themselves. If you solve them, they’ll remain dependent on you. Take the time

to answer questions. Help children

think of alternative options. • Show children that you can

laugh at yourself. Show them that

life doesn’t need to be serious all the

time and that some teasing is all in

fun. Your sense of humor is important for their well-being.

The Caring for Every Child’s Mental Health Campaign, part of the

Comprehensive Community Mental

Health Services for Children and Their

Families Program of the Federal Center for Mental Health Services, wants

parents and caregivers to know that

the physical and mental well-being

of every child is important. Parents

and caregivers who wish to learn more

about children’s mental health should

call 1-800-789-2647 (toll-free) or visit

www.mentalhealth.org/child to

download a free publications catalog

(Order No. CA-0000). The Federal

Center for Mental Health Services is

an agency of the Substance Abuse and

Mental Health Services Administration, U.S. Department of Health and

Human Services.

Building Self-Esteem in Children

CA-0048