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Answering Your Child’s 

Tough Questions

As your child becomes curious about 

alcohol and other drugs, he or she may 

turn to you for answers and advice. Use 

this opportunity to start an open, honest 

conversation about drinking and drug use, 

and to establish or reinforce your rules 

about alcohol and drug use and outline 

the behavior you expect. Peer pressure can 

be powerful among youths, and having a 

plan to avoid underage drinking and drug 

use can help children make smart choices. 

Because some questions can be difficult 

to answer, it is important to be prepared. 

The following are some common questions 

and answers about underage drinking and 

other drugs. 

Alcohol-Specific Questions

“Why is alcohol bad for me?”

Don’t try to scare your child about drinking 

or tell him or her, “You can’t handle it.” 

Instead, tell your child that alcohol can be 

bad for his or her growing brain, interferes 

with judgment, and can make him or 

her sick. Underage 

drinking has severe 

consequences, including injury or death 

from accidents; unintended, unwanted, 

or unprotected sexual activity; academic 

problems; and drug use. Young people 

who drink are also more likely to have 

health issues such as depression and 

anxiety disorders. Once children hear the 

facts and your opinions about them, it is 

easier for you to make rules and enforce 

them.

“I got invited to a party. Can I go?”

Ask your child if an adult will be present at 

the party or if he or she thinks children will 

be drinking. Remind your child that even 

being at a party where there is underage 

drinking can get him or her into trouble. 

Use this time to reinforce your rules about 

alcohol and remind your children of the 

behavior you expect. Let them know they 

can say “no” or text a family member a 

code word if they’re put in a situation that 

makes them uncomfortable. 
2 www.underagedrinking.samhsa.gov

“Did you drink when you were a kid?”

Don’t let your past stop you from talking 

to your child about underage drinking. 

If you drank as a teenager, be honest. 

Acknowledge that it was risky. Make 

sure to emphasize that we now know 

even more about the risks to children 

who drink underage. Consider telling 

your children relatable stories about 

making smart decisions when it comes to 

alcohol. These could be stories that show 

the consequences of engaging in risky 

behavior.

“Why do you drink?”

Make a distinction between alcohol use 

among children and among adults. Explain 

to your child your reasons for drinking: 

whether it is to enhance a meal, share 

good times with friends, or celebrate a 

special occasion. Point out that, for adults, 

drinking in moderation is not harmful to 

their bodies, and if you choose to drink, 

it is always in moderation. Tell your child 

that some people should not drink at all, 

including underage children.

“What if my friends ask me to drink?”

Helping your child say “no” to peer 

pressure is one of the most important 

things you can do to keep him or her 

alcohol-free. Work with your child to think 

of a way to handle this situation, whether it 

is simply saying, “No, I don’t drink,” or “I 

have a game tomorrow,” or “I have to go 

to work tomorrow.”

“You drink alcohol, so why can’t I?”

Remind your child that underage drinking is 

against the law and for good reason. Point 

out that adults are fully developed mentally 

and physically, so they can handle drinking. 

Children’s minds and bodies, however, are 

still growing, so alcohol can have a greater 

effect on their judgment and health.1

Marijuana-Specific 

Questions

“Why is marijuana bad for 

me?”

Tell your children that marijuana 

use in any form is not safe for the 

growth of their brain. Explain that if 

children smoke marijuana, they could 

have issues with attention, concentration, 

and learning, which could cause them to 

do poorly in school, and creates a lack of 

balance and coordination, which could 

increase injury risk when playing sports or 

driving. Once children hear the facts and 

your opinions about them, it is easier for 

you to make rules and enforce them. 

“I got invited to a party. Can I go?”

Ask your child if an adult will be present at 

the party or if he or she thinks children will 

be trying marijuana. Remind your child that 

even being at a party where there is drug 

use can get him or her into trouble. Use 

this time to discuss the risks of marijuana 

and remind your children of the behavior 

you expect. Let them know they can say 

“no” or text a family member a code word 

if they’re put in a situation that makes them 

uncomfortable. 
3

“Did you try 

marijuana when 

you were a kid?”

An estimated 1.2 million 

youths aged 12 to 17 

tried marijuana for the 

first time in 2017— 

that’s approximately 3,300 kids each day.2

Don’t let your past stop you from talking 

to your child about marijuana use. If you 

tried marijuana as a teenager, be honest. 

Acknowledge that it was risky. Make sure 

to emphasize that we now know even 

more about the risks of marijuana use for 

children. Consider telling your children 

relatable stories about making smart 

decisions when it comes to marijuana. 

These could be stories that show the 

consequences of engaging in risky 

behavior.

“If marijuana is legal in my state, why 

can’t I use it?”

If marijuana is legal in your state, young 

people may also have more exposure 

to the drug. State laws allowing medical 

or recreational marijuana use for adults 

could prompt more youths to believe that 

the drug is safe. It’s important to have a 

conversation with your children and remind 

them about the drug’s potential harms, and 

that recreational marijuana is still illegal for 

those under 21.3

“What if my friends ask me to try 

marijuana?”

Talk with your children about having an 

“exit plan” if they are offered marijuana. 

Peer pressure can be powerful among 

youths, and having a plan to avoid drug 

use can help children make smart choices. 

Talk with your children about what they 

would do if faced with a decision about 

drugs, such as texting a code word to a 

family member or practicing saying “no” in 

a safe environment. Work with your child 

to think of a way to handle this situation, 

whether it is simply saying, “No, I don’t 

smoke,” or “I have a game tomorrow,” or 

“I have to go to work tomorrow.”

References

1

 U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. 

(2007). The Surgeon General’s call to action to prevent 

and reduce underage drinking: A guide to action for 

educators. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Health 

and Human Services, Office of the Surgeon General.

2

 Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services 

Administration. (2018). Key substance use and mental 

health indicators in the United States: Results from the 

2017 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (HHS 

Publication No. SMA 18-5068, NSDUH Series H-53). 

Rockville, MD: Center for Behavioral Health Statistics and 

Quality, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services 

Administration. 

3

 Gorman, A. (2017). In the age of legalization, talking to 

kids about marijuana gets tougher. Shots: Health News 

From NPR. From https://www.npr.org/sections/healthshots/2017/11/10/563051543/in-the-age-of-legalizationtalking-to-kids-about-marijuana-gets-tougher (accessed 

June 20, 2018).

SMA-18-5075

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