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CAMPAIGN

Age-Appropriate Conversations About Alcohol 

and Other Drugs

Although it may not always seem like it, kids really do listen to their parents’ and caregivers’ concerns, 

which is why it’s important to talk with them about the risks and dangers of underage drinking and other 

drug use. Starting these conversations early will equip your child with the information and skills they need 

to feel prepared when confronted with difficult decisions about alcohol or other drugs. Having frequent 

chats, starting when they’re young and continuing as they get older, will keep the lines of communication 

open and position you as a trusted source of information and support.

While you always want to be direct and honest when talking with kids, it’s important to have 

conversations that they can understand and that are appropriate for their age. Here are some tips for 

making those conversations effective at different ages.

Under Age 8

• When your child is 

young, start explaining 

the importance of 

good health and taking 

care of their body— 

eating healthful foods, 

playing, and getting a good night’s sleep.

• If they’re given a vitamin or medication, 

explain that vitamins help their body grow and 

medicine helps their body get and stay healthy. 

Make sure they know that they should only 

take vitamins or medicine from their parent, 

caregiver, or doctor and that taking someone 

else’s medicine or too many vitamins could hurt 

them or make them sick.

• Make sure they know to stay away from 

dangerous products that are commonly found 

in homes, such as cleaning products. Point out 

these household products, and explain that 

they’re harmful to the body.

• Teach them early on how to say “no” if 

someone offers them something they think is 

dangerous or they’re unsure about.

Ages 8–12

• As your child gets older, start asking openended questions, such as what they’ve heard 

about alcohol and other drugs. Listen to them. 

If they don’t seem interested, make sure they 

know you’re ready to talk whenever they are.

• Take advantage of “teachable moments”—for 

example, if they see alcohol, other drugs, or 

vaping devices mentioned in a movie, or on TV, 

on a billboard, or in a store. Explain that these 

substances are dangerous and can harm their 

body. Keep your tone calm, and use terms they 

can understand.

• Discuss the differences between the medicinal 

uses and illegal uses of other drugs and how 

they should only use prescription medicine as 

instructed by their doctor.

• Be open to their questions and concerns about 

alcohol and other drugs. Make sure they know 

that all questions are welcome.

• Remember that they are watching your actions. 

Be aware of your own behaviors and set a 

good example.

• Role-play with them so they can practice 

saying “no” if someone offers them alcohol or 

other drugs.
 talktheyhearyou.samhsa.gov 

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Ages 13–16

• Be aware that teens may have friends or

peers who drink alcohol or use other drugs

and that they may have already been exposed

to substances themselves. Make sure you’re

prepared to answer your teen’s questions

based on their first-hand experiences.

• Be upfront and clear about your expectations

regarding underage drinking and other drug

use. Remind them that their brain is still

developing through their mid-20s, which is why

alcohol and other drugs are especially harmful

for anyone under the age of 21.

• Consider using a written or verbal agreement

that clearly outlines your family rules about

drinking alcohol and using other drugs. Agree

on a code word they can text you if they’re in

a situation where alcohol or other drugs are

present so you can help them get out of the

situation without their friends or peers knowing.

• Try to understand their thoughts and

feelings about alcohol and other drugs. By

always listening and staying engaged, you’ll

encourage them to continue to talk with you

about these issues.

Ages 17–20

• Create clear rules for your teen or young adult

to never drink alcohol or use other drugs and

drive or get in a car if the driver has been

drinking or using other drugs.

• Have conversations about “becoming an adult”

and having “adult responsibilities.” Remind

them that peer pressure doesn’t go away just

because they’re getting older, and discuss

how they can handle those situations.

• If they’re going away to college or joining the

labor market, have talks about how to handle

this increased independence and make

healthy decisions that won’t negatively affect

their grades, employability, and safety.

• Try to be their voice of

reason. Help them come

to their own conclusions

by listening and asking

questions. Be openminded and logical when

giving feedback. As

they’re becoming adults,

treat them as such.

HELPFUL RESOURCES

Subscribe and listen 

to “What Parents Are 

Saying” podcast.

Download and use “Talk. They 

Hear You.” mobile app.

Download and read “Talking 

With Your College-Bound 

Young Adult About Alcohol” 

parent guide.

Download and read “After High 

School: Talking With Your Young 

Adult About Underage Drinking” 

parent fact sheet.

Use and share 

Screen4Success.

Download and order “Talk. 

They Hear You.” materials 

online from SAMHSA Store.

Screen4Success

If your child needs more support at any age, use Screen4Success to better understand their 

health, wellness, and wellbeing and find resources to help address their needs.

PEP23-03-01-004