It Doesn’t Have To

U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

www.samhsa.gov

It Feels So Bad Join a support group

Many schools have assistance programs that 

offer support groups for students who are living 

with alcohol or drug abuse in their families. 

These programs help with problem solving, and 

they give you the opportunity to meet other 

young people who are struggling with the same 

problems at home that you might face. They can 

help you see how others are able to have a good 

life in spite of what is happening at home.

Alateen is for you

Alateen is a group for teens who are affected 

by someone else’s alcohol or drug use. It holds 

meetings, like a club, where young people share 

tips on how to make their lives easier when a 

family member drinks too much or uses drugs. 

The meetings are sponsored by Al-Anon. You 

can find the location of meetings near you by 

looking in the phone book under Al-Anon or 

Alateen, or ask a youth minister, your school 

counselor, your doctor or another adult you 

trust to help you get to a meeting near you. 

You can also find out about Alateen at 

www.alateen.org or by calling toll-free at

1-888-425-2666. 

If it is your friend’s Mom or 

Dad who drinks too much

Don’t walk away, and don’t pretend you don’t 

see it.

Things you can say that might help:

• It’s not your fault that your parent drinks or 

uses drugs. 

• You’re not alone – lots of kids come from 

families where this is a problem.

• There are people who can help.

Things you can do:

• Tell your pastor or youth minister that you 

are worried about your friend.

• Be a good friend – include your friend in 

your activities and your family’s fun.

• Encourage your friend to talk to a 

trusting adult.

More information is available

SAMHSA’s Helpline for Alcohol and Drug 

Information 1-800-662-HELP

www.findtreatment.samhsa.gov

Alateen

1-888-425-2666 

www.alateen.org

The National Association for Children of 

Alcoholics (NACoA) 

www.nacoa.org 
Things You Should Know

Lots of teens live in families with alcohol abuse 

or alcoholism – one in four. Many also live with 

parental drug abuse. You are not alone.

Addiction to alcohol or drugs affects all 

members of the family, even if only one person 

has this disease. This is why it is called a 

“family disease.” 

Nothing you have done has ever caused anyone 

else to drink too much or use drugs. It’s not 

your fault. You need and deserve help for 

yourself.

You didn’t Cause it

	 You can’t Cure it

	 You can’t Control it

but

	 You can

Take better Care of yourself by

Communicating your feelings

	 Making healthy Choices

Celebrating yourself

People with alcohol or drug addiction in their 

families are at greater risk of getting this disease 

when they choose to drink or use drugs. You 

can never get this disease if you don’t drink or 

use drugs.

It is important for you to concentrate on finding 

help and support for yourself.

Take Care of Yourself

If you feel bad because your Mom or Dad is 

drinking too much or using drugs, there are 

steps you can take to make things better for 

yourself even though you cannot stop your 

parent from drinking or using. 

Talk to a caring adult. There are many adults 

who will listen and help you deal with problems 

at home, even when it seems no one has 

noticed. Sometimes they are not sure if you 

want or need support and are waiting for you to 

say something first. Often a teacher, a counselor 

at school, a youth minister, a coach, doctor, 

nurse, friend’s parent, grandparent, aunt or 

uncle is knowledgeable and anxious to help.

Families with alcohol or drug problems often

try to keep it a secret. It is important to find 

caring adults who can help you. Talking to them 

really helps, and it is not being disloyal to your 

family if you seek help for yourself. 

If you don’t get the help you need from the first 

person you approach, it is important to reach 

out to another adult you can trust.

Get involved in youth programs. Join in 

activities offered through your church or 

synagogue, your school’s extracurricular 

programs, or your community recreational 

departments. Here you can hang out with other 

young people, use your special talents and 

strengths and learn new skills while making 

friends and having fun. 

Does Your Mom or Dad drink 

too much?

Millions of youth like yourself worry about their 

parents drinking too much or using drugs. It’s 

a big problem that happens in every kind of 

family, whether rich or poor, single parent, or 

traditional or blended family and families that 

attend places of worship. 

When your parents have been drinking, do they:

•	 embarrass you?

• blame you for things you didn’t do?

• do they break promises?

• drive under the influence?

• behave in confusing and unpredictable ways?

Your parent could be misusing or be addicted to 

alcohol or drugs. Addiction to alcohol or drugs 

is a disease. People with this disease often do 

things that are confusing and hurtful. They need 

help to stop the alcohol or drug use. Sometimes 

that help is through an alcohol or drug abuse 

program; sometimes it is through Alcoholics 

Anonymous or other self-help groups, which 

often meet in churches and synagogues. These 

groups have helped millions of Moms and Dads 

recover, regain their health, and begin to heal 

their families. Caring adults are available to 

help your Mom or Dad get the treatment and 

recovery support they need.