DHHS Publication No. (SMA)-3772

Printed 2002
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

Center for Substance Abuse Prevention

2002

Keeping

Youth

Drug Free
Public Domain Notice

All material appearing in this report is in the public domain and may be reproduced or copied without

permission from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). However, this

publication may not be reproduced or distributed for a fee without specific, written authorization of the Office

of Communications, SAMHSA, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Citation of the source is

appreciated. Suggested citation:

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Keeping Youth Drug Free. Center for

Substance Abuse Prevention, DHHS Publication No. (SMA)-3772. Rockville, MD, 2002.

Obtaining Additional Copies of Publication

Copies may be obtained, free of charge, from the National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information

(NCADI). NCADI is a service of SAMHSA. For copies of publications, please write or call:

National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information 

P.O. Box 2345

Rockville, MD 20847-2345

(301) 468-2600; 1-800-729-6686

TDD 1-800-487-4889

Electronic Access to Publication

This publication can be accessed electronically through the Internet World Wide Web connection at:

www.samhsa.gov

Originating Office

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

Center for Substance Abuse Prevention

5515 Security Lane

Rockville, MD 20857
3

Table of Contents

Introduction ......................................................................................................................5

If You Love a Child, You Need to Know This ...............................................................7

Establish and Maintain Good Communication with Your Child ...............................12

Get Involved in Your Child’s Life .................................................................................20

Make Clear Rules and Enforce Them 

with Consistency and Appropriate Consequences.......................................................26

Be a Positive Role Model ...............................................................................................30

Teach Your Child to Choose Friends Wisely................................................................36

Monitor Your Child’s Activities ...................................................................................43

Summary/Recap..............................................................................................................47

Resources ........................................................................................................................48
Keeping Youth Drug Free
5

Introduction

If you could do one thing that would help your child succeed in school, live a healthier life,

and develop to his or her* fullest potential, would you do it? 

If you answered “yes,” then talk with your child about alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs.

Find out what he knows. Explain to him that using these substances can interfere with

studying and can cause grades to suffer by affecting memory and learning skills. Describe

the harmful health effects of substances. Let him know how these substances can cause

problems in relationships and among friends, and can even tear families apart. Study after

study has found that parents make a difference in the choices their children make. 

By the time they enter preschool, most children have seen adults smoking cigarettes or

drinking alcohol either in real life or in the media, or both. Children today are exposed to

illegal drugs as early as elementary school, so it’s never too early to talk with your child

about drugs.

This guide will help you do just that. It is designed for parents and caregivers of children

ages 7 to 13. It focuses on six key things you can do to help your child grow up drug free:

1. Establish and maintain good communication with your child.

2. Get involved in your child’s life.

3. Make clear rules and enforce them with consistency and appropriate consequences.

4. Be a positive role model.

5. Teach your child to choose friends wisely.

6. Monitor your child’s activities.

The suggestions in this guide are just that—suggestions. You may want to translate this

information into your own words and use your own style to communicate it.

*In this document, we refer to a child as “him” in some places and “her” in others. We do this for easier reading. 

Every point in this guide is the same for girls and boys alike, unless otherwise specified.
Keeping Youth Drug Free
7

If You Love a Child, You Need to

Know This

As you read this guide, you may wonder how useful the information is to you and your

child. Some parents aren’t aware of how common alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs are in

their child’s life. The facts may surprise you. However, they shouldn’t discourage you.

Parents have an incredible influence on their child’s decision whether or not to use drugs.

The following facts emphasize just how much your children need your support 

and guidance when it comes to making positive decisions about alcohol, tobacco, and 

illegal drugs.

Drugs Are Everywhere

Youth drug use cuts across all ethnic,

geographic, and socioeconomic lines. Youth

experience pressure to use alcohol, tobacco,

and illegal drugs at increasingly early ages. In

fact, in one survey, adolescents ages 12 to 17

named drugs as the most important problem

they face—more than social pressures,

violence, crime, or any other issues.1 The 2001 National Household Survey on Drug Abuse

(NHSDA) states that:

O Among surveyed youths, ages 12 to 17, 1 in 10 (10.8 percent) reported current use of

illegal drugs in the 30 days before the study. 

O Marijuana is the major illegal drug used by this group; 8 percent of youths were

current users of marijuana in 2001.

O Among 12- and 13-year-olds surveyed, 3.8 percent reported current illegal drug use.

The primary drugs used by 12- and 13-year-olds were marijuana, nonmedical use of

prescription pain relievers, and inhalants.

Statistics show that, fortunately, the majority of youth do not use drugs. However, some

parents still underestimate how often their kids are exposed to drugs. According to the

Partnership for a Drug-Free America (an organization that conducts attitude surveys of

youth and parents):

O Eighteen percent of parents think their child has tried marijuana versus 40 percent of

teens who say they have tried marijuana. 

“Every child in America is at risk of using

drugs, regardless of race, ethnicity, or

economic status.”

—National Survey of American Attitudes 

on Substance Abuse II.
8

Keeping Youth Drug Free

O Thirty-seven percent of parents believe their teen has been offered drugs versus 54

percent of teens who say they have been offered drugs.

O Five percent of parents think their child has abused inhalants versus 21 percent of

teens who say they have abused inhalants. 

If your child uses drugs, what other risks might he face? According to the Substance

Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA):

O Youth, ages 12 to 17, who smoke cigarettes are over 9 times more likely to use illegal

drugs and over 15 times more likely to drink heavily than nonsmoking youth.

O Youth, ages 12 to 17, who use marijuana weekly are nine times more likely than

nonusers to experiment with illegal drugs or alcohol, six times more likely to run away

from home, five times more likely to steal, nearly four times more likely to engage in

violence, and three times more likely to have thoughts about committing suicide.2

The Good News Is...

Research shows that parental influence is a primary reason

that youth don’t use drugs. Most teens who do not use

alcohol, tobacco, or illegal drugs credit their parents as a

major factor in that decision. 

O Kids who learn from their parents or caregivers about

the risks of drugs are 36 percent less likely to smoke

marijuana than kids who don’t, 50 percent less likely to

use inhalants, 56 percent less likely to use cocaine, and

65 percent less likely to use LSD.3

O 31.2 percent of adolescents report using marijuana in

the past month when their parents do not strongly

disapprove of drug use. Conversely, only 7.1 percent

of teens report using marijuana in the past month

when their parents strongly oppose drug use.
The Differences Between Boys and Girls 9

There’s no denying that boys and girls are different. 

Differences between the sexes become more obvious with the onset of puberty, as do boys’

and girls’ needs when it comes to resisting alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drug use. Boys and

girls experience adolescence differently because of various social, cultural, physiological,

and psychological challenges. For example, among boys, puberty tends to increase

aggressive behavior, while among girls puberty tends to bring a higher incidence of

depression. 

Studies show that girls may lose self-confidence and self-worth during this pivotal time,

become less physically active, perform less well in school, and neglect their own interests

and aspirations. During these years, girls are more vulnerable to negative outside

influences and to mixed messages about risky behaviors. Girls are also at higher risk than

boys for sexual abuse, which has been associated with substance abuse.

Puberty generally occurs a year or two later in boys than it does in girls. The physical

changes boys go through can cause a lack of coordination that may lead to injury. Boys

tend to experience mood swings and can have feelings of anxiety during puberty. During

these years, boys crave exploration of things associated with being grown up, including

sexual behavior or experimentation with alcohol, tobacco, or illegal drugs. 
10

Keeping Youth Drug Free

But boys and girls also have a lot in common. They need the same kinds of guidance,

information, and nurturing from their parents to help them grow into healthy, wellinformed adolescents and adults.

Both boys and girls are less likely to smoke, drink, or use illegal drugs if they have:

O A positive attitude, an ability to adapt to changing circumstances, and a belief in their

ability to “handle things.” 

O A warm close-knit family and parental supervision with consistent discipline.

O Close friends, an extended family that provides support, community resources, and

family and community attitudes that do not tolerate substance abuse. 
Quick Quiz

How well do you know your child?

1. What is your child’s favorite color?

______________________________________________

2. Who is your child’s best friend?

______________________________________________

3. What are the names of your child’s teachers? Who is

your child’s favorite teacher? Do you know why?

______________________________________________ 

4. Who are some of your child’s role models? What does

he admire about those individuals?

______________________________________________ 

5. What would your child wish for if she saw a falling star?

______________________________________________

6. What is your child’s favorite food?

______________________________________________

7. What is your child’s favorite movie or TV show?

______________________________________________

8. What three words would your child use to describe

himself? To describe you?

______________________________________________

9. What are your child’s hobbies?

______________________________________________

10. What are your child’s future goals?

______________________________________________

Check with your child to see how well you did on the quiz.
12

Establish and Maintain

Good Communication 

with Your Child

Get into the habit of talking with your child

every day. Your child is an individual with

hopes, fears, likes, dislikes, and special talents.

The more you know about your child, the

easier it will be to guide her toward more

positive activities and friendships. As a result,

your child will be less likely to experiment

with alcohol, tobacco, or illegal drugs.

Establishing a close relationship with your child now

will make it easier for her to come to you when she

has a problem.

It’s important not to be critical. Positive

reinforcement and constructive support are 

more effective in influencing children’s behavior 

than criticism.

Action Steps to Good

Communication

1. Take the Quick Quiz on the previous page.

Ask your child what the answers are and let him

lead you into a longer conversation. You can talk

about one question a day or one a week. Think of

other questions you can ask one another.

Consider making the questions and conversations

part of your daily routine.

2. Set aside a few minutes a day. Talk about

problems or challenges that might have come up

during the day and discuss how you handled them.

You can even ask your child for his ideas on simple

matters to help him build problem-solving skills.

These skills can help him resist peer pressure to use

alcohol and drugs to solve problems.

1

“I try to remind myself what’s important here.

Is it more important that he knocked over the

milk or that he told me and helped me clean

it up?”

—Dan, father of 7-year-old Matthew.

Decisionmaking skills are

important

Children learn how to make

decisions. You can guide them with

a key set of questions to ask when

faced with a choice:

· What am I trying to decide and

what do I know about it? 

· How do I know my information is

accurate? Who gave me the

information?

· What more do I need to know

before going ahead?

· Who has the added information I

need? 

And once the decision is made, ask

these questions:

· What are the good effects of this

decision?

· What are the bad effects?

After this, you can ask your child to

reconsider a decision and take

responsibility for the consequences.

Keeping Youth Drug Free
13

3. Validate your child’s feelings. Sometimes, children react to situations in ways we

think are inappropriate, silly, or overdramatic. That’s because children don’t have the

benefit of our adult experience. What is minor to us may be very important to them.

For example, if your child says, “Mrs. Smith doesn’t like me. She gives me too much

homework,” don’t dismiss your child by saying, “That’s ridiculous. Everyone gets the

same amount of homework.” Instead, validate your child’s feelings, investigate the

situation, and guide her toward a better understanding of the situation. “Oh, I

wouldn’t like it if I felt my teacher didn’t like me. But does everybody get the same

homework assignment?” If you’re not sure you have all the facts regarding a situation,

assure your child you will take action, such as talking to Mrs. Smith. This lets your

child know that you respect her feelings and are willing to help her work through

difficult situations.

4. Practice active listening. When you show interest in what your child has to say, she

will open up. One technique to show you’re listening and understanding is to

paraphrase what your child tells you. Try doing this the next time you have a

conversation. For example, your child says, “I like playing soccer, but practice is the

same time as my favorite show on TV.” You might say, “Wow, that’s a tough choice.

On one hand, you really like playing soccer; on the other hand, you don’t want to miss

your favorite show.”

5. Ask questions. Children have a lot to share when they think their opinions matter.

Ask for your child’s input about family decisions. These decisions may range from

what to have for dinner to where to go for a family outing. Showing your interest in

her opinion will make your child feel more comfortable about opening up to you.

If you are successful in establishing open lines of communication with your child about

day-to-day events, he will be more likely to seek your input on more serious issues as well.

Many of the skills you use in daily conversations may prove useful when discussing

tougher issues. Here’s just one example:

Example

Your 11-year-old tells you a friend offered him some marijuana (or another substance).

You can begin your conversation by asking for more information.

Q: “What do you know about marijuana (or other substance)?”

A: [Chances are your child will have some information on marijuana (or other

substance), but not all of the information may be accurate. If your child doesn’t know

about the harms of marijuana (or other substance), you can do the following things

together to find out more:]
14

Keeping Youth Drug Free

O See the drug information starting on page 18 of this guide.

O Contact SAMHSA’s National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information

(NCADI) toll-free at 1-800-729-6686.

O Look at the following Web sites—http://forreal.samhsa.gov and http://ncadi.samhsa.gov/reality

(for marijuana) or www.samhsa.gov for other substances.

Ask more questions to continue the conversation.

Q: “Do you know what happens if you use marijuana (other substance)?”

A: [Listen to your child’s response. Does he mention any of the consequences listed below?

If not, you should mention them. We have used marijuana as the example here.] 

O Smoking marijuana is illegal and could result in getting suspended or kicked out of

school, being sent to jail or juvenile detention, and having a criminal record. All of

these things could affect the rest of his life.

O Smoking marijuana sets a bad example for younger siblings.

O Smoking marijuana will hurt his lungs and cause him to perform poorly in sports.

O Smoking marijuana will hurt his brain and could result in memory loss, bad grades,

and a loss of motivation.

O Smoking marijuana would affect his relationship with you and others he cares about.

O Smoking marijuana would greatly affect the whole family. State what the resulting

consequences would be in your family.

Being able to express thoughts and

feelings with someone we feel

comfortable around—whether it is a

spouse, a coworker, or a friend—can

make all the difference in how we feel

about ourselves and in how we interact

with the world around us.

Similarly, young people need

opportunities to express their thoughts

and new feelings. When we try to limit the

thoughts and feelings of our children, we

take a great deal away from them. When

we deny that their feelings are real, we

are denying that children are individuals

with their own perceptions. Young people

who are taught to express themselves

have an easier time dealing with peer

pressure and resisting other temptations.

Express Thoughts and Feelings
15

Other important messages you can share with your child when talking about marijuana or

other substances include:

O While some people smoke marijuana and use drugs, most young people do not.

O Drugs can get in the way of achievement in areas that are really important, such as

sports, singing, dancing, music, auto repair, acting, or art. Youth is a time for learning

new things—finding friends and building support networks. A young person who

uses drugs can often get caught up in the drug culture and miss out on the fun and

rewarding opportunities available to her.

O Academic performance can be affected by drug use. Using drugs takes time away

from studying and can have a negative impact on the brain, inhibiting learning

abilities. A young person with hopes of going to college may find that drugs interfere

with attaining academic goals.

O Children need to know that drug use doesn’t just affect them. It also can have a

negative effect on their relationships with others. A friend may get angry if the child

starts to steal money or things to trade for her drugs. A brother or sister might feel

hurt because of changes in behavior that make the child seem distant or moody.

O Negative behaviors like these can turn into a bad cycle. A young person may think

that a teacher or friend or grandparent doesn’t like her anymore because the child does

not realize her behavior (drug use) has changed the relationship. A child, without

being able to see this, just says, “Forget it. Nobody likes me anyway.” This attitude

can begin to spread to other relationships and then serves as a primary defense for

using illegal drugs—“Nobody cares about me, so why shouldn’t I smoke marijuana?”
16

Keeping Youth Drug Free

Susan and Samantha’s Story

Susan has made constant adjustments to her work schedule to reflect

her changing needs and those of her family. Recently, she cut down

the number of hours she works. Both Susan and her husband

thought it was important to slow down the hectic pace they had been

living since Samantha was born 8 years ago. Now there’s more time

to relax, play, and just talk to each other.

“Good communication is not just listening when she talks, but asking

her about what’s happening in her life. And when she seems

troubled, I ask her about it. Sometimes I do have to coax a little, but I

think she likes knowing that I care and she can come to me when she

has a problem. I also talk a lot about our family’s values. Open

communication shouldn’t be a special thing; it should be a daily thing. 

“Sam is very inquisitive and curious. Right now, she comes to me with a lot of her

questions, but I know that, as she gets older, she’ll be looking to her friends for information

more and more. I figure if I build this foundation of trust and communication now, when

it gets tough—the teenage years—she’ll still feel comfortable coming to me with her

questions. Having this type of relationship with Sam makes me feel rejuvenated. It also

gives me the chance to guide her point of view so that she can make better choices now

and when she’s older.”

Communication Is Important Because...

Some Kids Use Drugs To Satisfy Curiosity

Children are very curious about alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs. They are exposed to

drug messages on TV, in the movies and videos, in newspapers and magazines, at school,

on the Internet, and in conversations with friends and family. Even if we have done an

outstanding job of educating and nurturing the children in our care, some children will

remain curious about alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs. Their sources of drug

information may not always be accurate or have their best interests at heart. But you do.

That’s why it’s important for you to know about the drugs your child may be exposed to

and for you to communicate the consequences associated with them.
17

Drug Facts You Need To Know

When you talk with your child about alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs, it’s best to know as

much background information as you can. The following descriptions are by no means

comprehensive, but they give you a broad overview of the substances your child may be

exposed to or ask you about.

Narcotics

Product names: Heroin, morphine, codeine, Dilaudid, Demerol, Percodan, Methadone, Talwin.

Street names: Heroin—Smack, Junk, Horse, H, Tar. Morphine—Mojo, Mud, Mary, Murphy, M, Miss

Emma, Mister Black. Codeine—Schoolboy, Cody, Captain Cody. Methadone—Dollies, Fizzies.

Symptoms of use: Lethargy, drowsiness, euphoria, nausea, constipation, constricted pupils, slowed

breathing.

Potential consequences: HIV infection, heart or respiratory problems, mood swings, chronic

constipation, tremors, toxic psychosis, high potential for addiction.

Routes of administration: Injected and ingested.

Medical use: For pain relief (except heroin and methadone).

Legal status: Illegal except by prescription.

Hallucinogens

Product names: LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide), PCP (phencyclidine), DMT (dimethyltryptamine),

Mescaline, MDA (methylenedioxyamphetamine), STP (dimethoxymethamphetamine), psilocybin,

Rohypnol, GHB (gammahydroxybutyric acid), MDMA (methylenedioxymethamphetamine).

Street names: LSD—A, Acid, Blotter, Microdots, Windowpane. PCP—Angel Dust, Angel Mist, Animal

Tranquilizer. Psilocybin—Mushrooms, Magic Mushrooms, Shrooms. MDMA—Ecstasy, E, X, XTC.

Rohypnol—R-2, Roofies, Roaches, “The Date Rape Drug.” GHB—Liquid Ecstasy, Liquid X, Georgia Home

Brew, Georgia Home Boyz.

Symptoms of use: Trance-like state, excitation, euphoria, increased pulse rate, insomnia,

hallucinations.

Potential consequences: Impaired judgment and coordination can result in greater risk for injury, selfinflicted injury, violent behavior, paranoia, depression or anxiety, unpredictable flashbacks.

Route of administration: Ingested.

Medical use: None, except oxycontin.

Legal status: Illegal.

Alcohol

Product names: Beer, gin, vodka, bourbon, whiskey, tequila, liqueurs, wine, brandy, champagne, rum,

sherry, port, coolers, “lab punch.”

Street names: Booze, Sauce, Brews, Brewskis, Hard Stuff, Juice.

Symptoms of use: Slurred speech, impaired judgment and motor skills, incoordination, confusion,

tremors, drowsiness, agitation, nausea and vomiting, respiratory ailments, depression.

Potential consequences: Impaired judgment can result in inappropriate sexual behavior, sexually

transmitted diseases (including HIV/AIDS), injuries, and auto crashes. Habitual use can lead to an

inability to control drinking, high tolerance level, blackouts and memory loss, interference with

personal relationships, cirrhosis of the liver, vitamin deficiencies, damage to heart and central

nervous system, sexual impotence, weight gain.

Route of administration: Ingested.

Medical uses: For appetite stimulation and mild sedation.

Legal status: Illegal under 21.
18

Keeping Youth Drug Free

Depressants

Product names: Sleeping pills and tranquilizers (Seconal, Nembutal, Smytal, Quaalude, Miltown,

Norcet, Placidyl, Valium, Librium, Tauxene, Ativan, Xanax, Serax).

Street names: Downers, Ludes, Vs, Blues, Goofball, Red Devil, Blue Devil, Yellow Jackets, Yellow

Bullets, Pink Ladies, Christmas Trees, Phennies, Peanuts.

Symptoms of use: Drowsiness, confusion, incoordination, tremors, slurred speech, depressed pulse

rate, shallow respiration, dilated pupils.

Potential consequences: Anxiety, depression, restlessness, psychotic episodes, chronic fatigue,

insomnia, changes in eyesight, irregular menstruation, stopped breathing, suicide, dependence

requiring more of the drug to get the same effect, severe withdrawal symptoms.

Route of administration: Ingested.

Medical uses: For tranquilization, sedation, and sleep.

Legal status: Prescription only.

Cocaine/Crack Cocaine

Product names: Cocaine, crack cocaine.

Street names: Cocaine—Coke, Snow, Blow, Toot, Nose Candy, Flake, Dust, Sneeze. Crack Cocaine—

Crack, Rock, Base, Sugar Block, Rox/Roxanne.

Symptoms of use: Excitability, euphoria, talkativeness, anxiety, increased pulse rate, dilated pupils,

paranoia, agitation, hallucinations.

Potential consequences: High risk for addiction, violent or erratic behavior, hallucinations, cocaine

psychosis, eating or sleeping disorders, impaired sexual performance, ongoing respiratory problems,

ulceration of the mucous membrane of the nose, collapse of the nasal septum, death from cardiac

arrest or respiratory arrest.

Routes of administration: Sniffed and smoked.

Medical use: None.

Legal status: Illegal.

Inhalants

Product names: Organic solvents, nitrous oxide, nitrites, aerosols, airplane glue, nail polish remover,

lighter fluid, gasoline, paints, hair spray.

Street names: Glue, Kick, Bang, Sniff, Huff, Poppers, Whippets, Texas Shoeshine.

Symptoms of use: Slurred speech, incoordination, nausea, vomiting, slowed breathing.

Potential consequences: Brain damage; pains in chest, muscles, and joints; heart trouble; severe

depression; toxic psychosis; nerve damage; fatigue; loss of appetite; bronchial tube spasm; sores on

nose or mouth; nosebleeds; diarrhea; nausea; bizarre or reckless behavior; sudden death; suffocation.

Route of administration: Sniffed.

Medical use: Nitrous oxide only, for anesthesia.

Legal status: Most products available in retail stores.

Cannabis (Marijuana)

Product names: Delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol, Cannabis sativa, marijuana, hashish, hashish oil.

Street names: Weed, Pot, Grass, Reefer, Mary Jane, Joint, Roach, Nail, Blunt. (Blunt refers to a cigar

into which marijuana is rolled.)

Symptoms of use: Mood swings, euphoria, slow thinking and reflexes, dilated pupils, increased

appetite, dryness of mouth, increased pulse rate, delusions, hallucinations.

Potential consequences: Amotivational syndrome, memory impairment, weight gain, increased risk for

cancer, lower sperm counts and lower testosterone levels for men, increased risk of infertility for women,

psychological dependence requiring more of the drug to get the same effect. Marijuana serves as a

barrier against self-awareness, and users may not be able to learn key developmental skills.

Routes of administration: Ingested and smoked.

Medical use: None.

Legal status: Illegal.
19

Stimulants

Product names: Amphetamine, Methamphetamine, Biphetamine, Dexedrine, Desoxyn, Tenuate,

Ionamin, Tepanil, Methcathinone.

Street names: Methamphetamine—Speed, Crystal, Meth, Ice, Glass, Crank, Go. Methcathinone—Cat,

Jeff, Goob, Stat, Star. Amphetamine—Bennies, Benz, Uppers. Dexedrine—Dexies, Brownies.

Symptoms of use: Excitability, tremors, insomnia, sweating, dry mouth and lips, bad breath, dilated

pupils, weight loss, paranoia, hallucinations.

Potential consequences: Weight loss, nutritional deficiency, chronic sleep problems, high blood

pressure, paranoia, anxiety or nervousness, decreased emotional control, severe depression, violent

behavior, death from heart failure or suicide.

Route of administration: Ingested.

Medical uses: For narcolepsy, obesity, hyperkinesis.

Legal status: Prescription only.

Tobacco

Product names: Cigarettes, cigars, chewing tobacco.

Street names: Cancer Sticks, Sticks, Bidis (flavored, hand-rolled cigarettes), Cloves (60%

tobacco/40% cloves), Chew, Smoke, Bone, Butt, Coffin Nail.

Symptoms of use: Smelly hair, clothes, and breath; yellowing of teeth; coughs; increased asthma

attacks; shortness of breath and poorer athletic performance. After only a few weeks, users of spit

tobacco can develop cracked lips, white spots, sores, and bleeding in the mouth. 

Potential consequences: Addiction; respiratory problems such as emphysema and chronic bronchitis;

heart and cardiovascular disease; cancer of the lung, larynx, esophagus, bladder, pancreas, kidney,

and mouth.

Routes of administration: Smoked or ingested orally (chew or spit tobacco).

Medical use: None.

Legal status: Illegal for youth under 19 in Alabama, Alaska, and Utah. Illegal for youth under 18 in all

remaining States.

Drug Facts for the New Millennium

The effects on both the body and brain of marijuana and other drugs are potentially more intense

now than in the past because some of the drugs are more potent. For example, because of new

growing and harvesting techniques, marijuana is about 275 percent more potent than it was just 10

years ago. It also often is laced with other drugs such as PCP or crack cocaine, sometimes without

the users’ knowledge. The environment of the drug culture also is more dangerous today. Studies

show that youth who use alcohol or illegal drugs are more likely to be perpetrators or victims of

violent crimes.

If you would like information about illegal drugs and alcohol written for young people, check out the

Tips for Teens series available online at www.samhsa.gov, or order the series by calling

SAMHSA’s National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information at

1-800-729-6686 (TDD 1-800-487-4889).
20

Keeping Youth Drug Free

Get Involved in Your

Child’s Life

Young people are much less likely to use drugs when they have positive activities to do 

and when caring adults are involved in their lives. Get involved in your child’s life by

participating in his activities (e.g., bring a snack for the soccer team, volunteer in your

child’s classroom, attend his recital or play, help with his science project) and praising his

accomplishments. Your participation and encouragement tell your child that these activities

are worthwhile and may help him identify and pursue other positive activities as he 

gets older.

2
21

Action Steps To Get Involved 

1. Spend at least 15 minutes a day in a “child-directed” activity (doing something

your child wants to do). Experts say that doing something with your child for at least

15 minutes a day is essential to building a strong parent-child relationship. Examples of

child-directed activities include:

O Reading a book your child chooses.

O Letting your child choose the menu and then cooking a meal together.

O Playing a game of your child’s choice (she can even make up her own rules!).

O Working on a craft project your child chooses. 

It also may be as simple as talking with your child about a topic in which she is interested.

Remember, 15 minutes is a suggested minimum. The more time you are able to devote to

your child doing these kinds of activities, the better. (For more information, log on to

www.samhsa.gov/cmhs, scroll down, and click on the “Make Time To Listen—Take Time To

Talk” icon.)

2. Identify at least one opportunity each week for you and your child to do

something special together. Some possibilities include:

O Visiting the library.

O Going for a walk.

O Playing cards, board games, or video games.

O Searching on the Internet to learn about each other’s interests.

O Going on a special outing, such as the park, playground, or ice cream stand.

The important thing is that you spend time together and interact (just watching a TV

show and not discussing the program doesn’t count!). You may be surprised at how

much these special activities can mean to your child.
22

Keeping Youth Drug Free

3. Support your child’s activities. For example, if your child plays sports, plan to

attend as many practices and games as you can and model appropriate participant

behavior! Praise your child’s physical efforts and dedication to the sport.

4. Recognize good behavior consistently and immediately. Make the extra effort to

“catch” your child “being good”; for example, doing the dishes or cleaning her room

without being asked. Praise her for things you might ordinarily take for granted, such

as getting up on time, helping to set the table, or finishing her homework without being

asked. No one is ever too old to hear encouraging words or to get a hug or a “high

five” for a job well done. Keep in mind, though, that children usually know when their

effort has been less than their best. Choose words that are authentic: 

5. Use meal times as opportunities to share news of the day or to discuss current

affairs. In today’s fast-paced world, many families find it difficult to come together at

meal times. However, if family meals can be arranged, it is a great opportunity for

interaction. Be aware, however, that this should be a time for positive discussion. 

It probably is not appropriate to discuss upsetting issues such as failing grades, bad news

in the newspaper, or other upsetting topics. It is definitely not the time to fight with

each other. Meal-time discussions can help your child value expression by encouraging

passionate, but polite, exchanges. If it is difficult for your family to eat meals together,

be creative in finding other times to have conversations with your child, such as during

car rides.

· Way to go! That’s great.

· I think you have real talent.

· I can see that you really understand.

· This is something that you can really

be proud of.

· You’ve made real progress.

· Congratulations.

· I can’t wait to show this to....

· That is a whole new way of thinking

about it...good.

· I like the way you did that.

· I’m proud of you.

· You are a natural....

· I knew you could do it!

· You are a quick learner.

· Well done!

· That part is perfect.

· That is a good solution.

· You are really creative.

· Good job!
23

Robert and Alia’s Story

Most people don’t believe 34-year-old Robert when he tells them he is a grandfather. His

daughter Alia was born when he was 17. Robert didn’t live with his daughter as she grew

up, so being involved in her daily life was a challenge.

“It’s really hard being a parent, especially if you don’t live with your child. I couldn’t see

my child a lot because her mother and I weren’t getting along. If I could do it over again, I

would play a more active role in her life even though her mother and I didn’t see eye to

eye. For parents in that situation, I would tell them to be more concerned about the

relationship with your child than what’s going on between you and the mother or the

father. I would say the most important thing is to try to be there for your child. One thing

I realize now is that it didn’t always have to be a big thing, like going to the amusement

park. We probably would have spent more time together if I didn’t always feel like, ‘Wow,

I've gotta do something special.’ Alia remembers the little things—like helping me wash

the car. I mean, she counts that as one of her favorite memories.”

Being Involved Helps You To Become Aware 

When Your Child Is Under Stress

Being young doesn’t necessarily mean you are never unhappy or anxious. Young people

often cite stress as a reason they use alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs. Let’s face it; young

people today have to deal with issues such as:

O Changing family structures. 

O Easy access to alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs. 

O Lack of adult supervision. 
24

Keeping Youth Drug Free

O Lack of safe places to learn, play, and socialize. 

O Lack of good role models. 

O Peer pressure.

O Pressure to be sexually active. 

O Violence and gangs. 

Some young people think that alcohol or illegal drugs will cheer them up, make them

forget about problems they have, or make them feel part of the group.

Adults and children sometimes develop unhealthy ways of dealing with stress. How many

times have we heard people say,

“Boy, I could use a drink,” as an

antidote to stress? How many

of us smoke tobacco to reduce

stress? How many of us truly

know how to deal with stress in

healthy ways? Just like some

adults, children need to learn

how to deal with stress, how to

make healthy decisions, and

how to relax. 

Children also need someone to

help them through difficult

times—someone to whom they

can express their concerns and

apprehensions without fear of

rejection or recrimination. One

of the most important things

that can help children choose

not to use alcohol and drugs is

the love and support of at least

one caring adult who helps

guide them through the many

phases of childhood.

· Low energy

· Short attention span

· Frequent sleepiness

· Extreme hyperactivity

· Inactivity

· Misbehavior

· Anger

· Fighting frequently

· Being frustrated

· Saying bad things about

self

· Not doing as told

· Making different voices,

grunts, growls, snorts, or

reverting to baby talk

· Crying easily

· Sulkiness

· Detachment and

unresponsiveness

· Changes in eating habits

· Mood swings

· Defiance/rejection of

authority

· Changes in appearance

and personal hygiene

· Changes in personality

· Abusiveness to siblings

· Drop in grades

· Backtalk

How can you tell 

if your child is

under stress?

Some signs of stress among

young people include:
25

Reducing Stress

There are many ways to help reduce

stress in a child’s life: 

O Allow your child to express her

feelings and concerns.

O Promote healthy eating, sleep, and

exercise patterns during the early

years so they become habits for a

lifetime.

O Let your child know that you also

experience pain, fear, anger, and

upset.

O Look at your own coping skills.

Are you setting a good example?

O Teach your child relaxation

exercises, such as deep breathing and

sitting quietly for 10 to 20 minutes as

a way to calm down or reduce stress.

O Set goals based on the child’s

abilities—not on your expectations.

O Teach your child that it’s okay to be angry, but it’s also important to let the anger go.

O Help your child express anger positively, without resorting to verbal or physical

violence.

O Give your child a big hug before or after a stressful situation.

O Establish a special time each day for just the two of you. 

O Show confidence in your child’s ability to handle problems and tackle new challenges.

O Get your child’s input on how a stressful situation can be improved. Discuss his

ideas. They may not always be realistic, but this exercise will help him develop

problem-solving skills.

O Help your child learn from mistakes.

If you are or your child is experiencing symptoms of stress and you’re not sure how to

handle the situation, your doctor or a counselor could help. Or call SAMHSA’s National

Mental Health Information Center at 1-800-789-2647 for resources and referrals near you.

· Unresponsiveness to others

· Frequent illness

· Low energy

· Feeling confused

· Abusiveness to others

· Alcohol or drug abuse

· Feeling weary

· Crying easily

· Constant worrying

· Feeling overwhelmed

· Fearfulness

· Changes in eating habits

· Tension headaches

· Desire to be alone more

often

· Rejection of advice and

assistance

· Mood swings

· Changes in sleeping habits

· Irritability and short temper

How can you tell 

if YOU are under

stress?

These symptoms may indicate

that you are under stress:
26

Make Clear Rules and

Enforce Them with

Consistency and

Appropriate

Consequences

Would it surprise you to learn that parents’ permissiveness is a bigger factor in teenage drug

use than is peer pressure? If you let your child know up front that you don’t approve of

using tobacco or illegal drugs, or underage drinking, your child is less likely to use those

substances.

Making rules, explaining the need for them, and enforcing them consistently are important.

Parents need to establish regularly enforced rules to guide their children in developing daily

habits of self-discipline. Research shows that parents who have either very harsh rules or

no rules at all are more likely to have children who are at greater risk for drug-taking

behavior. Parents who have a warm relationship with their children, while maintaining

rules for behavior, can teach children self-discipline. 

3

Keeping Youth Drug Free
27

Action Steps To Make Clear Rules and Enforce Them

With Consistency and Appropriate Consequences

1. Discuss your rules and expectations in advance. Let your child know the

consequences of broken rules or unmet expectations. These rules can apply to

schoolwork, chores, behavior at home, and behavior outside of home. 

2. Follow through with the consequences you have established. If your child breaks

the rules, it’s important to follow through with the consequences you discussed. If you

don’t follow through, you send the message that your rules are not really important and

that it’s okay to break them. Children really do want you to show you care enough to

set limits and enforce them.

3. Acknowledge when they follow the rules. Catch your child “being good” and

praise him for it. Take every opportunity to support your child’s decision to follow a

rule or to meet or exceed your expectations. Positive reinforcement helps your child

develop self-confidence and trust in his own judgment while seeing the benefit of

following your rules.

4. Discuss why using tobacco and illegal drugs, and underage drinking are not

acceptable. Let your child know why you don’t want her to use drugs: you love her

too much to ever want her to get hurt or get into trouble. Talk together about your

family values. Remember, when a child decides whether or not to use alcohol, tobacco,

or illegal drugs, a crucial consideration is, “What will my parents think?”

What Is an “Appropriate Consequence”?

Appropriate consequences will vary based on the age of your child, the seriousness of the

situation, and your child’s personality. Here are a few examples that may help you establish

your own guidelines.

Possible rewards for good behavior might be:

O Extra time on the computer

O Extra phone privileges

O One-half hour later bedtime (assuming it doesn’t interfere with needed sleep)

O Having a friend over for dinner on a week night

O Having a friend stay overnight on a weekend

O Tickets to a concert or sports event

O More television viewing time
28

Keeping Youth Drug Free

The opposites could be viewed as appropriate

consequences for breaking rules:

O Less time on the computer

O Phone privileges taken away

O No later bedtime/earlier bedtime

O No friends over during the week

O No friends over during the weekend 

O Tickets to a concert or sports event 

taken away

O Less time to watch television

When possible, try to relate the consequence you impose to the behavior they exhibit. 

For example, if you have established the rule that homework needs to be done before going

out to play, a logical consequence of breaking the rule might be no outside play until the

homework is finished.

Keith and Seth’s Story

Keith loves being a dad but hates being a disciplinarian. He would much rather spend

Saturday morning playing catch with his 12-year-old son Seth than monitoring his progress

cleaning the basement—a consequence handed out for not getting home on time. On the

other hand, Keith knows firsthand what it’s like to grow up without limits.

“I was wild. I did just about everything a kid shouldn’t do. Smoked, drank, cut school,

was disrespectful. I never got called on any of it until I got arrested, and then it was like,

‘Whoa. What do you mean, I’m going to jail?’ I finally got the message that for every

action there’s a reaction. I think a lot of why I was so wild is that I was starved for

discipline. I wanted some order in my life—some security. Those were lonely times. I

don’t want Seth to ever think I don’t care about him or how he acts. That’s why I sit down

with him and share my experiences and tell him why I have these rules, why I don’t want

him to do certain things. He knows that if he makes a bad choice, he needs to be prepared

for the consequences.”

Teaching Self-Discipline

Children who learn rules and consequences

early in their lives begin to impose their own

rules, modeled on yours, on themselves.

Teach the child “When-then.” “When you set

the table, then we eat.” “When you finish

your homework, then you can watch T.V.”

“When you save $15, then you can get a new

video game.”
29

Rules and Consequences for Breaking Them 

Are Important Because...

Some Kids Use Drugs To Take Risks and Rebel

Taking risks is part of growing up. Children may take an emotional risk by letting someone

know that they don’t like what they are doing. They may take a physical risk by testing

their balance climbing up a tree. They may take a social risk by introducing themselves to

someone they don’t know.

To grow, a child must learn skills that, as adults, we may take for granted. For example, we

may forget how hard it was to go to our first dance. We had to risk that no one would ask

us to dance, that we would not be able to dance very well, or that someone would make

fun of us. For a child, these are big risks.

As children approach the teen years, almost everything holds some risk because everything

feels so new and unexplored. As risks are overcome, most young people continue to look

for other new, challenging opportunities.

Parents can help children take healthy risks. These risks may include trying out for a play,

joining a community youth group, or going on a survival skills training course. It’s

important to do so because youth who don’t grow and learn with positive challenging

opportunities may look for other risks to take. However, they will be unclear about

boundaries and unsure of rules and expectations. So, if they are not clearly guided into

making smart and healthy decisions about these risks, they may think it’s okay to include

using alcohol, tobacco, or illegal drugs as part of that risk taking they are trying on.

Some youth may think that using these substances will help them prove that “I’m cool. I

can handle anything.” This desire to feel grownup, combined with media images of people

drinking, smoking, and taking drugs, send a message to some young people that it’s ok to

take this risk.

By stating and enforcing clear rules and expectations about the use of alcohol,

tobacco, and illegal drugs, you can help ensure that your child is less likely to view

using drugs or alcohol as an acceptable risk.
30

Keeping Youth Drug Free

Be a Positive Role

Model

Children like to imitate adults. How many times have children imitated the way we speak,

tried on our clothes or makeup, had a make-believe tea party or cocktail party, or pretended

to “go to work”? 

Every child wants to be a grownup. Being “grown up” means freedom. Being grown up

means making your own decisions. Being grown up means being able to eat and drink

anything you want, wherever you want.

Young people like to “try on” our behaviors along with our adult clothes. Lots of things fit

into the grownup category: driving a car, working, drinking alcohol, getting married,

smoking cigarettes, having babies, and so forth.

If we ask young people about the messages we send them about drinking alcohol, smoking,

or using drugs, what might they say? We might be surprised to find out that we influence

their attitudes toward alcohol, tobacco, or any substance when we involve them in our own

substance use by asking them to get us a beer from the refrigerator or an ashtray from the

cupboard.

A child can understand and accept the differences between what adults may do legally and

what is appropriate and legal for children. We should continue to reinforce this

understanding by not abusing legal substances like alcohol, or by using illegal drugs.

Children are exposed to media messages and images that glamorize the use of substances.

We must help them understand these messages are neither glamorous nor healthy.

A parent or caregiver using alcohol, tobacco, or illegal drugs may increase a child’s chances

of using and becoming dependent on a substance. 

4
31

Action Steps To Being a Positive Role Model

1. Do not engage in illegal, unhealthy, or dangerous drug use. Avoid actions that say, “Do

as I say, not as I do.” Children, even at very early ages, imitate and are influenced by

adult behaviors.

2. Don’t involve your child in your use of alcohol, tobacco, or illegal drugs. Such

involvement may include asking her to get a beer, light a cigarette, or “taste” your wine. 

3. When possible, point out examples of bad behavior linked to substance use or abuse and

the consequences. Examples can be found in television shows, movies, music, lyrics,

even video games. An important part of your job is to engage your child about these

images and behaviors and what they mean.

Dennis’s Story

His name is Dennis, but most of the people in his

neighborhood just call him “Coach.” He and his

family (he has a teenage son and a younger daughter)

have been involved with the Boys & Girls Club for

more than 9 years. Dennis has been an active

community volunteer and mentor to youth for even

longer. He is a role model not only for neighborhood

youth, but also for parents as well.

“I can say a lot of things to the kids that most adults

can’t get away with. I can tell them to pick up their

pop bottles off of the basketball court, and they’ll do it,

because they know I’ll confront them if they don’t.

They know I really care about them, and I’ve taken the

time to build a rapport and relationship with them. I

try to instill in them that there’s a lot in life that you

can look forward to. There’s a whole collage of things

to do besides hanging out in the streets. I take the kids

out, expose them to different things, like hiking and

camping. Doing these things with them puts you on a

level where kids look up to you as a role model. They

see me. I don’t do drugs, I don’t drink, but ‘Hey,’ they

think, ‘He’s still having fun. I can have fun without

that stuff, too.’ The best part is that other kids will start

looking up to them.”
32

Keeping Youth Drug Free

If You Use Alcohol, Tobacco, or Other Substances

The fact is, if you use alcohol, tobacco products, or other substances, your children are

more likely to use them, too. However, even if you use substances, you can still do a lot to

help your children choose not to use them.

If you use alcohol, drink moderately. That means

no more than a single drink a day for adult women

and two a day for adult men. On special occasions

and holidays, find alternative ways to celebrate. Talk

about your family rules on the use of alcohol. Deal

with stress by exercising, talking with a friend, or

deep breathing. The children you care for will learn

a lot by imitating these strategies.

If you use tobacco products and have had difficulty stopping, talk with your children about

how addictive nicotine is. Let them know that when you were young, you thought you

could stop easily, but you now have grown dependent on nicotine and want very much to

quit. If your children are very young, be careful about sharing information about the

health problems you may be suffering as a result of your tobacco dependence. A young

child may quickly jump to the conclusion that you are dying and may become very

frightened.

By the way, it’s never too late to quit. See the resources in the back of this guide, or call

SAMHSA’s NCADI at 1-800-729-6686 for local referrals and information. 

If you use illegal drugs, frequently or even occasionally, or if you are abusing

prescription drugs, you are sending strong negative messages to your children. These

messages may include:

O Take a pill if you need help coping.

O It’s okay to break the law when it stands in the way of personal needs.

O The best way to cope with stress, strain, or other problems is to use drugs.

O Happiness comes from the temporary high of drug use, not from good relationships

with others.

O It’s easier to take drugs than to develop good problem-solving and stress management

skills.

O Time spent using drugs is better than time spent with you.

O It’s easier to take drugs to try and forget problems instead of dealing with them.

By setting a good example, you can help

your child define being “grownup,”

emphasizing responsibilities such as

taking care of ourselves, doing well at

school or work, and being productive

members of our community.
33

If You Used Drugs in the Past...

You may not know whether you should tell your child if you used to use illegal drugs. Past

drug use also may make you feel uncomfortable to even start a conversation on the topic

with your child. But remember—your child needs your guidance. Whether or not you

have used drugs in the past does not change this fact. After all, the conversation is about

your child, not you.

Every child is different and each parent-child relationship is unique. Whether you tell your

child you have used drugs in the past depends on a variety of factors, such as the child’s

age, the child’s developmental stage, and your relationship with the child. Some children

may not want to know or need to know about your past experiences. Other children may

benefit from your candor and the lessons you learned firsthand.

If you decide to tell your child about past drug use, be sure to make a distinction between

past adolescent or young adult use/experimentation and current adult use. You should say

nothing about your current drug use unless directly confronted by your child. You should

seek help for the entire family to help manage this situation. (See the resources available in

the back of this guide.)

Don’t let past drug use stop you from conversing with your child about alcohol, tobacco,

and illegal drugs. The value of face-to-face discussions with your child cannot be

overestimated. Remember to:

O Listen.

O Get feedback.

O Have a clear message.

Here are some suggested messages to help you keep the topic of conversation on your child

rather than you:

O When I was younger, people didn’t know as much about the harmful effects of

alcohol, tobacco, marijuana, and other drugs. You’re lucky to have all of this

information. I wish I knew then as much as you do now.
34

Keeping Youth Drug Free

O Marijuana is stronger than it was even 10 years ago. Sometimes it is mixed with other,

even more dangerous drugs. There are also a lot of new drugs to worry about today.

O I stopped doing drugs (or smoking cigarettes, or drinking alcohol) because drugs are

illegal, not just because they’re “not good to do.” I’m telling you this now because I

don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did. (You may want to share a personal

story of a negative consequence you experienced because of illegal drug use.)

O The main issue here is you. I definitely do not want you to use alcohol, tobacco,

marijuana, or any drugs.

O Drugs don’t solve problems. They won’t make you popular. They won’t help you

grow up. And they surely won’t help you build a strong body and mind. In fact, just

the opposite can happen.

O Tell me some things that you do that make you feel good about yourself. Those

things make me proud of you.

O If you used alcohol, tobacco, or illegal drugs, I would be very upset and hurt. (You

may want to discuss with your child the consequences he faces if he decides to use

alcohol, tobacco, or illegal drugs.)

Teachable Moments

You’ve read through this section and are ready to talk with your child, but you aren’t sure

where to start. Here are some ways to turn everyday situations into “teachable moments”:

Watching TV—Substance use is often shown in television shows and even cartoons. 

Use these instances to start a conversation. And listen to the answers. 

Passing a billboard—Start a conversation the next time you pass a

billboard advertising cigarettes or alcohol. What is the ad selling? Does

your child believe it? Discuss what the ad may not be telling her. And listen

to the answers. 

Shopping—Pictures of marijuana leaves often adorn T-shirts, hats, and

other accessories. Products made from hemp also use marijuana logos. 
35

Use these images to start a conversation. What does your child know about marijuana?

And listen to the answers.

Knowing about relatives or family friends who use substances—If a relative or

family friend has a substance abuse problem, it affects all of you. Use the situation as an

opportunity to talk with your child about your expectations and hopes for him. It is the

ideal time to talk about family values, family history, and the benefits of staying drug free.

And listen to the answers. 

Making a change—Transition periods are good times to talk with your child about

substance use issues. Whether your child is entering a new school, starting a new school

year, joining a new club, signing up for a new activity or program, moving to a new

neighborhood, or experiencing another kind of change, talk about the challenges, hopes,

and fears these changes may bring. Will the likelihood of her being exposed to drugs

increase with these changes? Could drug use interfere with a new activity? And, again,

listen to the answers.

Jay’s Story

“My parents drank and used drugs in front of us. They told us not to do it, but at the same

time, they didn’t really care. Like if they found a joint in my room, they’d smoke it and

not even talk to me about it. I’d come home drunk—this is when I was still in high school—

and nobody said anything. That’s how they grew up. That’s how we grew up. I love my

mom and dad, but I don’t want my kids to have the same childhood memories that I have.

If my kids ever ask me if I did drugs, I think I’d have

to be honest with them and say yes. But I’d also tell

them that I don’t do it anymore and that I regret ever

doing it. I’m sober and drug free today. That drugs

cause a lot of pain. I would tell them that their using

drugs would hurt them and our family. Because I

know what can happen, and the thought of them in

those situations would really hurt.”

Being a Positive Role Model Is Important Because...

Some Kids Use Drugs To Feel Grown Up

We must keep in mind that our children grow up. Some of the ways children behave are

part of a natural and healthy separation, which generally starts in the early teen years

between ages 11 and 14. While we need to set limits, we also must allow room for growth.

But that doesn’t mean you should “check out.” Know your children, their friends, where

they hang out, and what they are doing.

If adults have set the example of responsible behavior, children are much more likely to

make positive decisions and choices. Parents are a child’s first and best teachers. 
Keeping Youth Drug Free

Teach Your 

Child to Choose 

Friends Wisely

As parents, we often worry about how much influence peers have on our child. We’ve all

heard the phrase “peer pressure.” However, recent research suggests that most youth don’t

feel overt pressure from their peers to use alcohol, tobacco, or illegal drugs. Youth say 

that the pressure to do drugs, smoke, or drink comes more from wanting to be accepted,

wanting to belong, and wanting to be noticed. In other words, youth drug use often 

has more to do with the need for peer acceptance than an inability to “just say no” to 

their peers.

Children want others to like them. Sometimes the group they want to join might be

drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, chewing tobacco, sniffing inhalants, smoking pot,

taking LSD, using methamphetamines, smoking crack, or shooting heroin. Sometimes

youth turn to alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs to overcome anxiety, change their

personality, or give them courage to talk to other people.

5
37

Myth vs. Fact

Our society is flooded with messages that encourage our young people to use alcohol,

tobacco, and illegal drugs.

These messages help convince young people that they should join “the crowd.” The myth

that “everyone is doing it” fuels the perception that drug use is normal. The reality is that

young people consistently overestimate the numbers of their peers who use alcohol,

tobacco, or illegal drugs. 

Young people often say that they learn more from

friends than family when they reach adolescence. But

studies have found that these same adolescents would

prefer to learn about a variety of important topics from

their parents and other caring adults. While peer

influence increases during the teen years, the

influence of caring adults can remain strong if you’ve

established a solid relationship during the earlier years.

Even if you can’t always be there to help her make the right choices, you can help your

child develop skills to manage her need for peer acceptance in positive and productive

ways. You can help your child learn how to:

O Refuse both subtle and direct offers of alcohol and drugs.

O Feel comfortable and act appropriately in social situations.

O Analyze and decipher pro-use messages (become media literate).

Action Steps To Help Your Children

Cope With Peer Pressure and the

Need for Peer Acceptance 

1. Establish the clear message that you, as a

caring adult, do not want them to use alcohol,

tobacco, and illegal drugs. Parents,

grandparents, elders, aunts and uncles, foster

parents, guardians, mentors, and others can play a strong role to help young people face

pressures to use alcohol and drugs. In fact, the most common reason that young people

give for not using alcohol and drugs is not wanting to harm the relationship between

themselves and the caring adults in their lives.

2. Help your child practice resisting peer pressure. For young people, most peer

pressure is just as subtle as it is for most adults. For example, let’s say you just started a

low-fat diet and you’ve been at a friend’s home for a party. They’ve been eating chips and

Although teenagers believe that more

than 70 percent of their peers use

marijuana at least occasionally, more

than half of all teenagers surveyed

report that they have never tried

marijuana. (1999 NHSDA).

Knowing that you do not approve and

would be disappointed in them is the

strongest motivation for them to refuse

offers to try these substances.
38

Keeping Youth Drug Free

dip, but you’ve resisted. Now, it’s time to leave

and, as you drive home with your neighbor, she

says, “Hey, let’s stop off at the pizza place down

the block.” You mutter something about being on

a diet and she says, “Oh come on, just one piece

of pizza won’t kill you.” This is peer pressure,

and it’s the same as what a child experiences when

a slightly older pal suggests just taking a “little” hit

of a marijuana cigarette because he knows the

younger friend really doesn’t want to do drugs. 

This is why practicing peer pressure resistance is

important. Finding creative ways to refuse

alcohol, tobacco, and drugs requires humor and

lots of practice. Children, especially younger

children, love to pretend. So set a scene as if you

and your child were characters in a story.

Roleplay saying no to things that your child

knows are harmful or against the rules, such as

playing with matches, stealing a cookie, or

smoking a cigarette.

This cannot be a one-time session. You might

find, for instance, that a 10-year-old has no

trouble at all saying no to trying a beer at a

neighbor’s house. However, 3 years later, when

the 17-year-old next door asks him if he wants a

beer, you hear him hesitate—not as sure of his convictions at 13 as he was at 10.

3. Help your child feel comfortable in social situations. A basic course in social skills

often helps here. Again it’s a matter of practice. Young people want to be socially

accepted. So if being socially accepted means eating with a knife and fork instead of with

one’s hands, then that’s what kids want to learn.

Practice meeting and greeting people with your child. Find some sentences that help her

“break the ice.” Teach your child how to ask questions about others and to be a good

listener. 

Again, you can get lots of input from your child. Ask her to describe times when she has

felt uncomfortable. Tell her about a situation in which you felt awkward. See if she has

ideas about how to act in the same situation in the future. Let her know that social

situations often are awkward at first and that they are not very easy for most people. Ask

her about her experiences.

How To Say “No.”

Children can help develop their own set

of “turn down” comments, but it’s your

job to help them practice so that they

are not thrown off balance if the offer is

more subtle or more forceful than

anticipated.

A lot will depend on the age and

personality of your child. The most

important thing is to make sure she’s

comfortable with what she wants to say.

Your job is to coach her to use language

and phrases of her own.

For instance:

 A shy child might want to say, “No,

thanks,” or “I gotta go,” and then

walk away quickly. 

 A more outgoing child might say,

“What? Are you talking to me?

Forget it,” or “No, I don’t do drugs.”

 Children who have difficulty refusing

offers from older kids or adults may

need special help to practice a

forceful, believable reason that

clearly lets the other party know that

they do not want to use alcohol,

tobacco, and illegal drugs.
39

Let your child know that some people may turn to alcohol and drugs to get them through

awkward social moments and never learn how to be comfortable in social situations. Let

your child know that it’s okay to feel awkward at times. We all do!

4. Teach your child to analyze media messages. Many of the media messages about

alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs present glamorous images, lure with T-shirts and

trinkets, and play upon the desire to be popular and physically attractive. These messages

often ignore the risks associated with alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drug use. The need for

group acceptance and peer approval is high during adolescence, and media images often

influence youth’s determination of what attitudes, behaviors, and actions are socially

“normal” or desirable. Media-literate individuals are better able to make informed choices

and form opinions based on facts rather than “hype.”

Help youth think for themselves and resist the many powerful media messages about

drugs, tobacco, and alcohol. Help them analyze media messages, understand the intent of

the messages, and evaluate how the information in the message is used and communicated

in a variety of media—television, movies, videos, radio, and in music. These skills are

especially important to young people. After all, they’re exposed to an average of 8 hours of

media each day!
Five Steps To Becoming 

Media Literate

Media literacy can help youth recognize and understand messages—

actual or “between the lines”—delivered in music lyrics, promoted

on clothing and jewelry, illustrated in advertisements, and portrayed

on TV or in movies. Media literacy helps children build resiliency

skills, come to understand that all messages are constructed

deliberately, and develop the ability to identify and resist messages

that support the use of illegal drugs, tobacco, or alcohol.

Five steps can help you and your child identify, analyze, and

evaluate media messages. Each step is one of the five basic

principles of media education. By answering the questions in each

step, you and your child can become critical consumers of

information. Ask your child to pick any media message—a cartoon, a

movie, a news photograph, a magazine article, a TV or magazine

advertisement, a T-shirt, or song lyrics. Using the five steps, ask her

about the messages she received. 

Step 1 - Reality:

Media messages represent (someone’s) reality. What is the

message maker’s point of view?

Step 2 - Interpretation:

People interpret media messages differently. How does the

message make you feel?

Step 3 - Construction:

Each media message is a collection of words, images, and

sounds. What special words, images, and sounds are used to

create the message?

Step 4 - Purpose:

Each media message has an author and a purpose. Who

created the message and why?

Step 5 - Form:

Media messages come in different forms. How is this message

delivered (magazines, television, radio, newspapers, etc.)?
41

1. Ask your child some questions the next time you

watch a TV commercial or see a billboard: Is that

advertisement trying to sell you something? If so,

what? Is that product healthy for you? How is the

sponsor of that product trying to get you to buy it?

· By making you feel unlovable. (“You won’t be

liked if you don’t try this product.”)

· By making you feel left out. (“Everyone is

buying it, so don’t be left out.”)

· By making you feel inadequate. (“If you don’t

buy this product, you won’t be able to do things

as well as everyone else.”)

· By making you feel less masculine or less

feminine. (“If you don’t use this product,

members of the opposite sex won’t find you

attractive.”)

How do you feel about the product now?

2. The next time your child is watching television,

sit down and join him. What does your child like

about the program? Talk with your child about

whether people in real life look like the people on

television or in the movies. What are the

differences? How do the people he sees in movies

and television make him feel about himself? Does

he want to look like the people he sees on TV?

Does he want to live the lifestyle he sees

represented? Is this realistic? 

3. The next time you and your child pass a

billboard, see a television commercial, or notice a

print ad in a magazine or newspaper, ask her about

the advertising message. What is the ad really

selling? A product? A feeling? A lifestyle? Does she

believe everything the ad says? Can the product

actually do what the ad promises? What else might

the product or service do that the ad doesn’t

mention? Is the ad misleading in any way? Who is

the ad targeting? Why?

4. Create your own commercials or ads. Ask your

child to pick or create a product or service and then

create an advertisement for it. Your child could act

out a television commercial, write a radio script, or

draw a print ad or billboard. Talk about why he used

the images and words that he did. You can get into

the act and create an ad, too! Talk about the

thought process that you went through to create 

the ads.

Additional Media Literacy Activities:

Teaching Your Child to Choose Friends Wisely

Is Important Because...

Some Kids Use Drugs to Fit In and Belong

Wanting to fit in, to belong, is one of the most natural parts of growing up. In fact, if we

really listen, we may find that, for some, it is the most important part of growing up. By

teaching your child to choose friends wisely, you are giving her skills she needs to feel

confident in her own judgment. This can help her resist peer influences to use alcohol,

tobacco, or illegal drugs or engage in other dangerous behavior.
Keeping Youth Drug Free

Kimberly and Caitlin’s Story

“My daughter came running into the house really upset one day.

She had just heard that another girl in the neighborhood had started

a nasty rumor about her, and she came in to get her sneakers so she

could find this girl and fight her. I told her, ‘You get her, honey!

How dare she talk about you!’ Tears in her eyes, my daughter

hugged me and then went in her room for her sneakers. She came

out and was heading for the door, when I stopped her and told her,

‘You aren’t going anywhere.’ She looked at me with big eyes, ‘But

mom, you just said...’ ‘I know what I said. When you came

running in here you were hurt and needed a friend. So I said

something a friend would say. But now, you’re on your way out,

getting ready to do something that could get you hurt, and you need

your mom. You’re not going out that door.’ And she didn’t.

Instead we had long talk about the importance of being true to

yourself. She didn’t need to go and fight this girl. My daughter

needed to believe in herself enough to know that her friends and the

people she really cared about wouldn’t believe the rumor. She

needed to know that people can only push your buttons if you let

them and that violence is never a good solution. It was a good

42 reminder for both of us.”
Monitor Your Child’s

Activities

Monitoring your child’s activities is an important deterrent to alcohol, tobacco, and illegal

drug use. One study found that latchkey youth who were home alone 2 or more days per

week were four times more likely to have gotten drunk in the past month than those youth

who had parental supervision five or more times a week. Another study found that

children who had the least monitoring initiated drug use at earlier ages. And the earlier 

a child starts using drugs, the greater the likelihood that a serious problem will develop as 

a result. 

6
44

Keeping Youth Drug Free

Action Steps To Monitor Your Child’s Activities

1. Establish relationships with your child’s friends. Children are more likely to

experiment with drugs if their friends do and if they spend a lot of unsupervised time

together. Knowing your child’s friends can put you in closer touch with your child’s

daily life. You’ll be better able to recognize trouble spots and guide your child away

from risky situations, dangerous behaviors, and negative peer influences. Also, when

parental monitoring is high, adolescents are much less likely to choose friends who use

drugs. Thus, parents have a powerful influence on their adolescents by their influence

on their choice of friends and their monitoring of the peer selection process. Youth are

less likely to use drugs if they think their parents and friends disapprove of drug use and

if their friends do not use drugs themselves.

2. Get to know other parents. Arrange to attend school events or other gatherings with

parents. As parents, you can reinforce each other’s efforts and provide a valuable

support network for both you and your children.

3. When your child goes out, make sure you know where he’s going, who he’ll be

with, and what he’ll be doing. Ask for phone numbers and addresses of friends’

houses and other places your child likes to go. Let him know you may call or drop by

to check up on him, and don’t be afraid to do just that. Start this practice early, when

the child first starts to visit friends at 8 or 9 years old. Then it will be habit rather than

hassle when he is 14.

4. Have your child check in at regular times and make it easy for her to contact

you. Give her a phone card, change, or even a pager, with clear rules for using them.

Make sure she has your cell phone number and knows where you are going to be and

how you can be reached.

5. Make sure your child has access to enjoyable, drug-free, structured activities.

Youth who are involved in constructive, supervised activities during after-school hours

and on weekends are less likely to use drugs. Encouraging your child’s involvement in

these activities and participating when you can (e.g., going to a soccer game, painting

props for a play) are powerful ways to prevent drug use.
45

Coranne, Jason, and Nicole’s Story

Coranne’s daughter Nicole is in seventh grade. Nicole’s older brother Jason, a firefighter,

is married and has a son of his own. Although he doesn’t have to “check in” with mom

anymore, Coranne says old habits die hard.

“Jason calls me almost every day. Sometimes it’s just to say a quick hello; other times he

needs some advice. I think it just became a routine for him that continued on into

adulthood. It’s the same with Nicole now. I make sure that no matter where she is, she

has to call me. Because if I find out about something after the fact, then she is grounded or

her privileges are taken away. For example, she went to a friend’s house after school and I

gave her a time to call me. That time passed, so I paged her. When she did call me back, I

asked her why she didn’t call. She didn’t have an acceptable explanation, so I came and got

her right away, and she had to come straight home from school the next day. But I made

sure that at least I gave her the opportunity to explain, and I didn’t just fly off the handle.”

Monitoring Your Child’s Activities and Providing a

Variety of Positive Activities Are Important Because...

Some Kids Use Drugs When They Think

They Have Nothing Better To Do

Many youth say they started smoking marijuana or using illegal drugs out of “boredom.”

In fact, having significant amounts of unsupervised time is a risk factor for youth substance

abuse. Unfortunately, changes over the years in family structures and neighborhood

networks have increased the amount of time that many young people spend unsupervised.

Even if you aren’t able to be with your child during the after-school hours, you can seek

out activities your child can participate in. Involvement in supervised activities not only

occupies free time that could otherwise permit involvement in harmful or dangerous

activities, but it helps young people develop skills, establish friendships, identify their

talents, and develop a strong sense of self-esteem. They learn self-confidence and skills

that last a lifetime, and studies show they are much less likely to use drugs or alcohol. 
46

Keeping Youth Drug Free

Resources to help you find activities for your child include:

1. School programs. Check with your child’s

teacher, school counselor, or principal and ask

about after-school activities sponsored by the

school or your local department of education.

2. City and county programs. Call your

mayor’s office or local department of parks and recreation and ask for information on

youth programs. Many counties offer a brochure of youth programs. Ask them to send

one to you by mail.

3. Faith-based programs. Many churches, synagogues, mosques, and other places of

worship have youth programs. You don’t always have to be a member of these

organizations to have your child participate in their programs. Check with your place

of worship or with faith organizations in your community.

4. National organizations. Many national organizations such as the YMCA, the Girl

Scouts, Boy Scouts, and Boys & Girls Clubs of America have local chapters and

affiliates that offer supervised activities. Find out what’s available in your area. For a

detailed list of some of these organizations, see the resources section in the back of this

guide, or log on to the “Your Time—Their Future” Web site at www.health.org/yourtime.

5. Mentoring programs. There’s no substitute for a caring and involved parent, but

sometimes another caring adult can make a world of difference in a child’s life. Find

out about mentoring programs in your area. A good place to start is with Big Brothers

Big Sisters of America (www.bbbsa.org or 215-567-7000) or the National Mentoring

Partnership (www.mentoring.org or 703-224-2200). 

Coordinating and monitoring your child’s

activities ensures that your child always

has something “better to do” than drugs.
47

Summary/Recap

By reading Keeping Youth Drug Free and taking the suggested action

steps, you are helping to ensure your children reach their fullest

potential and grow up happy, healthy, and drug free. Here is a

quick recap of the things you can do to help your child resist

alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs.

O Establish and maintain good communication with your

child. Talk with your children about alcohol, tobacco, and

illegal drugs and listen to their pressures and problems. Teach

your child the health, safety, and legal consequences of using

alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs. If you’re not sure what they

are, look for information starting on page 17 of this guide, or

call the National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug

Information at 1-800-729-6686 (TDD 1-800-487-4889) to

request information on specific drugs or other literature (online

at www.samhsa.gov). You may also contact the resources listed on the following pages. 

O Get involved in your child’s life. Get to know her individuality. Work with her

strengths. Accept a child’s unique talents and personality. Provide love, support, and

encouragement to the child in your life.

O Make clear rules and enforce them with consistency and appropriate

consequences. Be clear and consistent in your expectations, rules, and messages. 

O Be a positive role model. Do not engage in any illegal, unhealthy, or dangerous

drug use practices. Provide an example consistent with what you say.

O Teach your child to choose friends wisely. Practice ways for him to refuse drugs

with methods that fit his personality.

O Monitor your child’s activities. Ask questions about what he’s doing, with whom,

for how long, and where. Get to know the friends he spends time with and the other

parents, as well. Be sure children have easy access to a wide range of appealing, drugfree, alternative activities and safe, monitored areas where they can gather, especially

during after-school hours.

1

CASA, National Survey of American Attitudes on Substance Abuse VI: Teens, 2000.

2

SAMHSA, Adolescent Self-Reported Behaviors and Their Association With Marijuana Use, September 1998.

3

Office of National Drug Control Policy, Parenting Skills: 21 Tips and Ideas To Help You Make a Difference, 2000.
48

Keeping Youth Drug Free

SAMHSA’s National Clearinghouse for

Alcohol and Drug Information

P.O. Box 2345

Rockville, MD 20847-2345

800-729-6686

800-487-4889 (TDD)

www.samhsa.gov

SAMHSA’s Center for Substance

Abuse Prevention (CSAP)

www.samhsa.gov/csap

SAMHSA’s Family Guide To Keeping

Youth Healthy and Drug Free

http://family.samhsa.gov

SAMHSA’s Parenting Is Prevention

http://parentingisprevention.samhsa.gov

SAMHSA’s ¡Soy Unica! ¡Soy Latina!

www.soyunica.gov

Centers for Disease Control and

Prevention (CDC) National AIDS

Clearinghouse

P.O. Box 6003

Rockville, MD 20849-6003

800-458-5231

www.cdcnpin.org

Tobacco Information and Prevention

Source at CDC

www.cdc.gov/tobacco

National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse

and Neglect Information

330 C Street, SW.

Washington, DC 20447

800-394-3366

703-385-7565

www.calib.com/nccanch

Office of Minority Health Resource

Center

P.O. Box 37337

Washington, DC 20013-7337

800-444-6472

301-230-7199 (TDD)

301-230-7198 (FAX)

www.omhrc.gov

Office of National Drug Control Policy

(ONDCP)

www.whitehousedrugpolicy.gov

ONDCP’s Anti-Drug

www.theantidrug.com 

ONDCP’s Freevibe

www.freevibe.com 

Office of Juvenile Justice and

Delinquency Prevention and Center for

Substance Abuse Prevention’s

Strengthening America’s Families

www.strengtheningfamilies.org/

Children, Youth, and Families Education

and Research Network (CYFERnet)

www.cyfernet.org

Federal Resources
49

Adolescence Directory Online Center

for Adolescent Studies

Indiana University

www.education.indiana.edu/cas/adol/adol.html

African American Parents for 

Drug Prevention

311 Martin Luther King Drive

Cincinnati, OH 45219

513-475-5359

513-475-5394 (FAX)

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group

Headquarters, Inc.

1600 Corporate Landing Parkway

Virginia Beach, VA 23454-5617

800-356-9996 (general information)

800-344-2666 (meeting information)

www.al-anon.alateen.org

Alcoholics Anonymous World Services

475 Riverside Drive

New York, NY 10115

212-870-3400

www.alcoholics-anonymous.org

America Online’s Parents’ 

Resource Center

Keywords: drug help

Boy Scouts of America

P.O. Box 152079 

Irving, Texas 75015-2079

972-580-2000

www.scouting.org

Boys & Girls Clubs of America

1230 West Peachtree Street, NW.

Atlanta, GA 30309

404-815-5700

www.bgca.org

Camp Fire USA

4601 Madison Avenue

Kansas City, MO 64112

816-756-1950

www.campfire.org

Community Anti-Drug 

Coalitions of America

901 North Pitt Street, Suite 300

Alexandria, VA 22314

703-706-0560

800-54-CADCA

www.cadca.org

Early Childhood Educators’ and 

Family Web Corner

http://users.stargate.net/~cokids/

Girl Scouts of America

420 Fifth Avenue

New York, New York 10018-2798

800-478-7248

www.girlscouts.org

Girls Incorporated®

120 Wall Street, 3rd Floor

New York, NY 10005

212-509-2000

800-374-4475

www.girlsinc.org

Mothers Against Drunk Driving

(MADD)

P.O. Box 541688

Dallas, TX 75354-1688

800-GET-MADD

www.madd.org

Nar-Anon Family Groups

P.O. Box 2562

Palos Verdes Peninsula, CA 90274

310-547-5800

www.onlinerecovery.org/co/nfg

Narcotics Anonymous

P.O. Box 9999

Van Nuys, CA 91409

818-773-9999

www.na.org

Private-Sector Resources
50

Keeping Youth Drug Free

National Asian-Pacific American

Families Against Substance Abuse, Inc.

340 East Second Street, Suite 409

Los Angeles, CA 90012

213-625-5795

www.napafasa.org

National Association for Children 

of Alcoholics

11426 Rockville Pike, Suite 100

Rockville, MD 20852

301-468-0985

888-554-COAS

www.nacoa.org

National Association for Native

American Children of Alcoholics

P.O. Box 2708

Seattle, WA 98111-2708

206-903-6574

www.ndpl.org/nanacoa.html

National Black Child Development 

Institute

1101 15th Street, NW., Suite 900

Washington, DC 20005

202-833-2220

www.nbcdi.org

National Coalition of Hispanic Health

and Human Services Organizations

1501 16th Street, NW.

Washington, DC 20036

202-387-5000

www.hispanichealth.org

National Council on Alcoholism and

Drug Dependence, Inc.

20 Exchange Place, Suite 2902

New York, NY 10005

212-269-7797

212-269-7510 (FAX)

www.ncadd.org

National Crime Prevention Council

1000 Connecticut Avenue, NW.

13th Floor

Washington, DC 20036

202-466-6272

www.ncpc.org

National Parent Information Network

(part of ERIC Clearinghouse on

Elementary and Early Childhood

Education)

www.npin.org
51

National PTA Drug and Alcohol 

Abuse Prevention Project

330 North Wabash Avenue, Suite 2100

Chicago, IL 60611-3690

312-670-6782

312-670-6783 (FAX)

www.pta.org

The National Parenting Center (TNPC)

www.tnpc.com/parentalk/index.html

National Urban League

120 Wall Street, 8th Floor

New York, NY 10005

212-558-5300

www.nul.org

Parents’ Resource Institute for Drug

Education, Inc. (PRIDE)

3534 South 108th Street

Omaha, NE 68144

402-397-3309

www.pride.org

Partnership For A Drug-Free America

www.drugfreeamerica.org

Students Against Destructive Decisions

P.O. Box 800

Marlboro, MA 01752

877-SADD-INC

www.saddonline.com

YMCA of the USA

101 North Wacker Drive

Chicago, IL 60606

312-977-0031

www.ymca.net

YWCA of the USA

Empire State Building

350 5th Avenue, Suite 301

New York, NY 10118

212-273-7800

212-465-2281 (FAX)

www.ywca.org

This list of resources is not intended to be exhaustive; inclusion as a resource in no way is intended to represent

an endorsement of a non-Federal organization or Web site by the U.S. Department of Health and Human

Services (HHS), its Agencies, or its subdivisions. Further, HHS does not endorse the views or warrant the

content of any non-Federal Web site that may be referenced in this volume.

Keeping Youth Drug Free