U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH & HUMAN SERVICES

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

Center for Mental Health Services

peaceful solutions ...another way

be a role model

ules

for quality time together

Prevent your child from becoming a 

VICTIM:

t Instill self-confidence in your child.

t Help your child establish good social skills.

t Teach your child to speak out for him or 

 herself.

t Teach your child to seek, if harassed, help 

 from you and other caring adults.

t Try to meet with the bully to work 

 things out. If the problem continues,

 call for a meeting of all those involved.

Prevent your child from becoming a

BULLY:

t Present yourself as a model of nonviolent 

 behavior.

t Clearly state that violence is not acceptable.

t Assist your child in finding nonviolent 

 strategies for anger management and

 conflict resolution.

t Seek help from mental health/school

 counselors to help stop bullying and

 aggressive behavior.

How to get your way without fighting:

t Talk clearly and calmly. State the problem and your desire to 

solve it without fighting.

t Humor—Make fun of the problem.

t Compromise—Both give up something and get something.

t Avoid/ignore—Sometimes it’s not worth the bother. 

t Remember, it takes more guts and self-respect to walk away 

from a fight than to fight.

t Warm family relationships protect children FROM

 violence and many other risky behaviors.

t Be aware that everything you do, your children see

and do.

t Talk to them and, most important, listen to them.

t Spend valuable time with them that includes fun

activities.

t Find out who their friends are and if they are a positive

influence.

t Find out where they hang out and make sure it’s safe.

t Let them know you disapprove of fighting.

t Keep your children “drug and violence-free.”

For additional Copies call: 

800-789-2647

CMHS-SVP-0010

REPRINTED 2003

www.mentalhealth.org

TEENS

t Don’t insult, shout, walk out or away...

SHOW RESPECT.

PARENTS 

t Don’t boss, preach, judge, or criticize...

SHOW RESPECT.

FOR BOTH 

t Spend more than 15 minutes each day together

listening and talking.

t Don’t have outside interruptions.

t Don’t blame or try to defend anyone.

t DO MAKE one-on-one time SPECIAL.
Take interest in your child’s education and development:

t Read to your child and encourage your child to read.

t Meet with your child’s teachers often and learn about 

 your child’s progress.

t Review homework and 

 tests.

t Set short- and long-term 

 educational goals together 

and help your children 

reach their goals.

t Encourage your child to 

 participate in an afterschool program.

t Give your child household 

 responsibilities/chores.

EDUCATION

EVERYONE BENEFITS

emotions

understand-don’t take a stand

NURTURE

show love and concern

communication

is a two-way street

RESPECT

find out what it means to me

gangs are

not family

here is what we can all do to help 

keep our children “violence-free”

arents

be role models for your children

Children who don’t know how to control their anger are more 

likely to fight. Teach children how to calm down and talk over 

their problems. Tips for keeping cool and solving a problem:

t Keep in mind that anger is real, but it usually goes away.

t To calm down, think about or do things you enjoy.

t Once you have calmed down, think about the problem with 

a clear head.

t Take steps to solve the problem.

t Every day, tell your child you love him/her.

t Show affection daily with a hug, a kiss, and/or a touch.

t Make time for special family fun activities.

t Meet your child’s friends to ensure he/she has positive 

 influences.

Parents and caregivers are vital to the healthy

development and growth of children. We all

know this, but what can we do better to enrich 

our children? Helping children learn more 

about themselves and their environment can

be a key step in preventing school and

youth violence. Parents want children

to be safe, and children want to feel and 

be safe. The following information 

will be both helpful to you as a parent 

and caregiver, as well as to your children. 

So take time to read and make time to share 

this with your children. Violence prevention 

begins with YOU. Remember to make time 

to listen, take time to talk...these can be

precious moments.

Many youth fight because they feel disregarded and, as a 

result, feel angry, humiliated, or embarrassed.

To stay violence-free, respect means:

t Give respect so you may get respect.

t Stand up for yourself without putting yourself in danger.

t Discuss ways to solve problems without fighting.

t Respect is not gained by physical force or intimidation, 

but by the quality of your character.

t Fighting doesn’t solve a problem or get you respect.

Children who have good communication with their parents are more likely to ask for their advice than turn to 

peers. When talking to your child, always remember to:

t Listen to your child.

t Find out what your child knows about violence and 

 how to prevent it before you start talking.

t Let your child know he/she can always talk to you 

 about anything.

Many youth join gangs looking for affection. Gangs only 

look out for their own interests and forget about yours. 

Gangs are violent...they intimidate, hurt, and kill people. 

Gangs lead to self-destruction.

GUNS...Not the Solution

t The presence of guns can turn conflicts into violent 

confrontations resulting in serious injury or death. 

t Guns are more likely to kill a friend or family member 

(unintentionally or through suicide) than an enemy.

t Parents-don’t own a gun; but if you do, store it

unloaded and uncocked in a locked place.

t Children should be taught not to touch or play with 

firearms.

SEEING VIOLENCE...Through a Child’s Eyes

Children who have seen violence are more likely to 

become involved in violence as victims or perpetrators.

You can:

t Minimize your child’s exposure to violence.

t Tell your child that media violence is not real - it is 

glamorized, misleading, and fails to depict the real 

pain and suffering of the victims.

t Talk to your child about the violence he or she

witnessed.

t If you see changes in your child, after they’ve

witnessed a violent act, talk to a mental health

professional.

t Some warning signs of emotional distress related 

to witnessing violence include sleeplessness, lack 

of appetite, lack of attention, anxiety, and frequent 

thoughts or flashbacks of the event.

t Children who aren’t interested in school, who have 

 friends who use alcohol/drugs, and who are not bound 

 by rules are more likely to use alcohol/drugs.

t Let your child know you disapprove of drug use,

 including alcohol, and WHY.