Source: s3://data.kl3m.ai/documents/govinfo/USCOURTS/USCOURTS-cand-3_06-cv-03768/USCOURTS-cand-3_06-cv-03768-0/pdf.json

Nature of Suit Code: 320
Nature of Suit: Assault, Libel, and Slander
Cause of Action: 28:1331 Fed. Question

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United States District Court

For the Northern District of California

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IN THE UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT

FOR THE NORTHERN DISTRICT OF CALIFORNIA

MICHAEL L. BEAUCHAMP,

Plaintiff,

 v.

SUSAN ILLSTON,

Defendant. /

No. C 06-03768 WHA

DISMISSAL ORDER

The above-captioned civil action is DISMISSED for lack of subject-matter jurisidiction,

due to the incomprehensible and patently absurd document filed to initiate it. 

That filing, titled “Request for Orders to Stop Harrassment [sic]” states, in its entirety:

I, Michael L. Beauchamp do hereby swear under the penalty of

perjury that Susan Illston did assalt [sic] [,] slander and libel me

with a deadly weapon with mean ignorance and selfish cruelty on

June 14th, 2006.

Furthermore, Susan Illston conducted a passive aggressive act of

terror upon my person, property, and life on June 14th, 2006. 

(Aetna Life Ins. Co. v. Kennedy, 301 U.S. 389 (1937); Fed. R. Civ.

P. 50(a). Dice v. Akron, C & Y. R.R., 342 U.S. 359 (1952).

s/ 06/15/2006
United States District Court

For the Northern District of California

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Given the dismissal, the application to proceed in forma pauperis and plaintiff’s motion

to appoint counsel are MOOT. 

IT IS SO ORDERED.

Dated: July 6, 2006 WILLIAM ALSUP

UNITED STATES DISTRICT JUDGE