Category: furniture

Buyer: OMG
Seller: Hi! Are you interested in mt sofa?
Buyer: Oh yes dear, my boyfriend and I loooooooove Lee Sofas
Seller: It's in great shape, and has a loveseat too. Only $600.
Buyer: Well sure only $600 if your rich and gay, which I'm not, well one of those ! LOL
Seller: Ha! If you want, I can deliver for free. 
Buyer: Hmz, well we are worried about if you had a cat or dog, I'm mean it's not a big deal, but...
Seller: Nope. I have no pets.
Buyer: Have you ever had it cleaned? By a professional, honey?
Seller: No, but it's been kept clean, and it's only about a year old
Buyer: Ok, but you know we are all a little dirty, especially on the loveseat, or do you have kids in your place. I'm sorry, maybe this is a wholesome set of furniture...
Seller: It's quite wholesome. How much are you willing to pay?
Buyer: Well, since you said it's clean, and you'll deliver, and it's practically BRAND neeew, we'll give you $420, and no we are straightedge, ha!
Seller: How about $500? It's really in great shape. No kids.
Buyer: Only if you go on a date with us honey, never negotiate with a gay man, $400.
Seller: $450 is as low as I can go.
Buyer: Oh I can't believe that, you gotta give me a reason, why are your credit cards so high? Ok, $420, that's high enough...
Seller: I recently divorced, and I can't afford to be charitable. I'm sure there's SOMEONE who could pay $450.
Buyer: Oh, it's not that I can't pay you $450, but like I said we aren't rich. So we are willing to pay a fair price. Really any material object is only worth 1/3 of the price of the list, especially after it's been used by any other person. Therefore, technically, and reasonably I could only give you $200 in order for me to not be a foolish capitalist. So, giving you even $420 with good humor is still way too much. So I'll double the reasonable offer a strong capitalist knows it is worth and give you $400. You need it, you have to pay the divorcee.