aimagic/big5essay huggingface dataset:
What I felt for last few weeks was depression as I do today. I have been depressed for several reasons such as adopting to the new environment, meeting new people, and keeping up with all the works that I have never done before. This writing assignment is another thing that makes my feeling depressed. My hands are getting sweat, I feel my face burning, and I can even hear my heart beating so loud. Since the time I started to write anything, I always had fear of writing. Actually I am not a good writer and writing makes my feeling very nervous. More than that, my boy friend is about to call me, and I really hope he would not call me until I finish writing this since I only got 20 minutes to do this. Well, even though he calls me, I don't think I will answer it, then call him back later and yell at him. Also I hope grammer and spelling mistakes won't be counted off from this type of writing. Now iI just touched my nose, and smelled cigarette on my finger. I am storongly thinking that I should quit smoking, which I am trying very hard to do. But this moment, I feel like to smoke really bad. Smoking always help me getting calm down. I feel totally lonely here, people are talking to each other, and they look like they all got their own friends. I am totally alone here, writing this paper. I felt lonely since I started to live alone. This is my first time to live myself, and whenever I try to sleep at night, I just feel some fear. I do not know what exactly that is. I just can't briefly breath, and now I feel same thing as writing this paper. I think my fear about dark and death started since I was in 5th grade. Because of my mom and dad who both had jobs, I had to live with my grandmother. Worse than that, I read a book called   I didn't belive recarnation  -well, actually something like that, when I was in 5th grade. That influenced me a lot in bad ways- fearing dark, and death. I am not actually scared of death at this moment since it is bright outside, but I feel similar fear right now. Now my hands are getting worse, and my fingers are sliding on the keyboard, and I really don't like that since this computer already has bad keyboard which is very hard to type on. I was not sure if I wanted to do this writing today since there were so many bad thing happened today- internet at home started not to work, I got a bad computer in communication building, and just this moment I pushed wrong key and keyboard did not work for last few minutes. I think I get very easily distractive since I am keep looking at someone else's sreen to see what he is doing on the internet. Anyways, it is such great experience that made me almost cry, and now I will count off ten until this page shuts down. Is it usual that I don't remember what I listed up there? Well. its been over 20 minutes, but it says I can keep writing. But I am not going to write any more since it is promise between the direction and me. Hope I am a few of people who are honest. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y
I wonder what this stuff is suposed to mean. What can i possibly learn about my self by writing incohearant thoughts for twenty minutes. I'm not a very good typist for one. None too good at spelling either. I hope who ever or what ever machine looks at this can read past any spelling and punctuation mistakes. This computer screne is far too birght. i wish i had thought to fix that before i started this. I wish i could read some other students writtings. Maybe i'd find some insight to how i'm doing in this rat race. Maybe i'd figure out what the girls around here are looking for. how vacant can my mind be? how many mental diseased is this going to uncover in me? i hope there are drugs to fix it. I wish i were at the lake right now. no books, no tv, no phone, just a hamock and a cold drink. Maybe a seadoo. A little bit of water sports never hurt anyone. Accept the ones that crash. God i hope  never see anything like that again. Why did that have to happen, all those kids had to do was go a little bit slower. All they had to do was look around for boats. They could have avoided it and now they are dead just beacause they couldn't understand that a jet ski isn't a toy. A goddamn toy! how could anyone   play   with their life like that. I hope i go in my sleep. i can feel the propeller slicing through my leg right now. those poor bastards. i guess id rather be one of those kids than the poor bastard that hit them though. i could never live with that kind of baggage. they didn't even know where their parents were. for the love of God, what could they possibly have thought when they got that phone call.   MRs smith, your daughters are dead. There was nothing we could do, i guess these things just happen.   and how could the parents not blame the draver of that boat?? how coul anyone ever admit that their childs death was their childs own fault? that all seem a bit bleek. Maybe i am ill. maybe i should get a bike. I could get around alot faster. Maybe i should just leave early, then maybe i could loose some weight. mayeb i've got it all wrong though. maybe they don't even care about that. I should loose some weight anyway. its unhealthy. Who ever reads this thinks i'm a nutcase.  Hello out there. welcome to the inner sanctom of my mind. its cold in here, but you'll get used to it. watch your step, there are some loose screws here and there. don't poke at that, i'm affraid it might fall apart. don't trip on that, its allready fallen apart. i know its messy in here but i'll get it all organized sooner or later.   i need to hire an inner sanctum of the mind cleaning lady. I hear they are very affordable. I guess cheap labor is just a byproduct of his whole immigration mess. maybe that mess has to do with our economic mess, or our terrorism mess. or our youth mess. or our drug mess. who in hell is going to clean up any of these messes? can you do one at a time? or are they all linked together? certainly some are. i'll just let trusty george W. handle it. err, imean cheany  

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y
Well, let me see, i have a lot of stuff to do. got to write this, then i got to go to the soccer meeting, then i have to try and figure out stuff for the plane tomorrow. Im kind of hungry, not really but kind of. Man, i want some chicken strips. i want the light to be turned on. My friend here is playing a cool computer game having to do with terrorists and stuff, he just told me he was doing awesome on it. . Were waiting for Rachel, she should be here soon hopefully. I don't know whether i should go out or stay for the intrasmural soccer meeting . . hmm, im going to try and see if anything important is going to be said at this meeting. I also have to take a shower. . It's funny how college life is, its like real life, dependent, you have to be self-disciplined which is hard. College is actually a challenge, it is hard to stay focused on books when you have so many parties and activities to go to, and people to talk to. 10-1, thats pretty good. Jason's getting good at that game. . . my friend's calling me . . ahh distracted. kind of cold, hmm wait, no its good actually. I don't know what to write for this. This is pretty hard. . 10 minutes passed already. . im going to dallas tomorrow, yay! happy. i love austin but i also love going back home. Eat meat and good food. Going to a Cowboys game on sunday. . i wonder if they'll be any good this year, i don't think so. UT football now thats something else. Man, too bad i donmt have the sports package, damn. I feel like having Skittles but im too lazy to go get them downstairs. . :) yea im hungry definitely. Wish rachel would get here already. man, 5 min left to write cool. can't wait til im done with this assignment. . so that i can go already. Oh, so its stream of 'consciousness', i kept on saying 'stream of conscious' thinking that was the right thing to say. . man, dumb hahaha. Typing is actually fun. kind of tiring at the end though. . hmm 30 sec left! ok this is it, fun stuff now ha! yea 3, 2,1  

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n
Im sitting in my room at the towers, and I have to admitt that the room size isnt half bad, ecspecially compared to my older sisters dorm room when she was a freshman. However I do have one complaint, and that is that the room are not taken care of in the least bit. And if I had to approximate the last time this place was renovated, my honest guess would be nineteen ninety-one. Yet I can live with a rather filthy room, but the worst part about living in the Towers has to be the food. The cooks here should go down in the Guiness Book of World Records for being the first people ever to make chicken taste bad. And everytime I go in there i seem to be asking the cook what exactly the food sitting in front of me is. Which through my experience translates into something that is not a good thing. As I look around my room I can't help but notice the fact that my side is far more messy than my roomates, but to be honest this is no concern of mine. Because he eats all of my food. I went pot luck in the towers for my roomates, which means that my rooming assignment is totally random. I havent really decided what my true feelings about my new roomates are due to the fact that we havent really spent time together. This fact is more my fault than it is theirs', because for one thing I am in pledgeship right now so finding time to spend with people is like finding a needle in a haystack. But every once in a while I do get to spend a little time with them, and from those few experiences I can say that Tony, the guy with whom I share a room with, is a very nice person and I believe that we will get along very well. So far the one thing that has kind of tied us together is that fact that we have the same taste in music, which is a major relief to me. My other two roomates who live across the living room from me are both going through pledge ship. And Campbell has been really nice as well, though he seems rather reserved. Yet the one guy that I am not to fond of at this time is my third roomate Joey. Its not that there is hostility between us its just that I try to be as nice as possible to him and try to start conversations with him every time I get yet he just won't seem to respond. Maybe its just a difference in the way we were brought up or something. Because I know when I was in high school this new guy moved in from Chicago and he really kept to himself along with his parents. But the more time I spent with him the more he opened up and now we are really good friends. But the funny thing is that all of the football parents thought that his parents were rud because they didnt really talk a whole lot. And i had to remind my mom that thats how people are in Chicago, and just to give them time because they are really good people. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n
Just as i moved to this page my roomate came into our apartment and it appears that he has brought some food back from the grocery store. That is always a good thing. Now I'm thinking about how I can possibilly type my thoughts for this amount of time with out taking a break for some snacks and whatnot. Today has felt like the longest day that I can remember and I can't figure out why. When I was in my math class at 11 in the morning I for some reason it felt to me as if it was 5 in the evening. Now I am listening to the tv in the background and amthinking about how much I disagree with the news man. What is going to be typed by me in 5 minutes from now is flooding me with curiosity. I hope that this week goes by much faster then it is right now. I can't wait until Texas plays North Carolina this Saturday. Horns football is one of the top three reasons why I applied to The University of Texas and I am very glad that I got in. Now I am looking at a picture of the roadrunner from wiley cyotte however you spell it and it makes me think of apples and oragnges. That kind of scares me that random things like that just kind of pop up into my head, but oh well. Now I am wishing that I had started some music to play as a was writing this because I am almost always interested in listening to music. Yes my roomate is talking to me and he didnt know that I was home this entire time what a silly bastard. Now I am listening to Whiteny Houston who is a supposed crack head butthat doesn't really bother me because she can sing ok. I wonder how many times she does crack cocaine a day or use too. Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to be high on coke but I have never tried it. The reasons I haven't done coke is probably because most people I know that do coke are lost causes. My roomate thinks I'm an alcoholic because he heard me say I was drinking punch and I am but he thought it was trashcan punch which means his mind was on alcohol so maybe he is the alcoholic. I am not excited about having to go to three classes today because I am so very tired that I could easily take a nap and enjoy it a 100 times more. I have about 4. 25 minutes left, that makes me think about how much faster this writing assignment has gone thean I thought it would. What my life will be like 8 months from now is a random thought that just entered my mind. I wonder if I will still have my girlfriend, and I hope I do and I wonder if I will be less depressed than I am right now because at the moment I am at a time where very little makes me happy and I really didn't have that problem at all over the summer unless I was thinking about school again. I don't know exactly why but school changes my state of mind dramatically and quickly. I know I should be thankful to even go to school but how can I help the feelings that I have. now there are three two oh times up. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y
It's late and the fan is on it keeps spratically blowing on my arm. My arm is getting kind of cold. I have been reading for about an hour now and my eyes are kind of lazy. I have some catching up to do on my homework and i need to go get a book tomorrow, the one i got online was the wrong one. today was a long day, i'm glad it's over. three classes and a long work-out session. i like it though, the working out, it make me feel. . . good. i like to feel good. tomorrow is going to be an easy day. ony one class. my nails look bad i sure need a manicure. the fan is really relaxing with the blowing and the hum sound it makes. there is no other noise, usually there is a radio playing but not tonight, homework was the important thing. i want to do several things this week, attend some meetings for soccer and for this business fraternity that i want to be in. i think it will be fun to be involved with the school. i sure wish i could find some information on the football or baseball spirit groups. thats really what i want to do. i love watching ut play no matter what sport. i was athletic in high school i wish i would have listened to my dad when he said   you should practice, you could get a scholarship   i could have, the demand for girl golfers is pretty high. i didn't listen oh well can't cry over spilt milk. i miss my parents, i know they miss me. my mom calls alot but im glad she calls me because i would fell kind of foolish is i always called home. you know, everytime i visit i get teary eyed. i know that sounds stupid but its getting better though. i love this school though, the only school i ever wanted to go to. been a fan forever. everyone else in my family is an aggie. i will be the first longhorn in family history. pretty cool i think. i wish i could do more with my room. its too small and my closet. man i have no words for that. but i like it here, its close to school and everything else for that matter. the walking across campus kind of sucks but thats ok because its ut campus, that makes all the difference in the world. i can't believe i got into the business school. i still remember finding out like it was yesterday. i was completely speachless. literaly i had to go outside, it was one of the most liberating and self gratifying moments of my life. i am smiling right now. i have alot of pictures of my friends in my room, i miss them too. mainly my best friend kristi, she is getting married in november and i hate that i am not there to help her out with all the wedding stuff, she calls and i always do what i can while i am at home but its not the same. we were neighbors you know. for the better part of out childhood. i am usually not this depressing sounding. i guess its the long day and all the prior homework setting the mood. my arms are starting to hurt because i am typing with my comp on a stool by my bed, sitting on the edge. its a strange position but i havent yet got me a desk. . like i said the room is small and well my comp desk was big. well good night.         

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: n
It comes easy just to type out what I am thinking, I am used to keeping a thourogh journal. It didnt necessarily have written sections like a   dear diary   but had many ideas and thoughts expressed in art. I really do love art. The communications school has a fantastic creative program which I hope to become a part of. It a rigorous comittment that i feel fully qualified for. That is my own concieded thought. Anyways, college has been everything I expected for and more. My professors are interesting and the social scene is very entertaining. I still find myself getting sad at nights because I am not with some of my closest friends. Lauren Nagler, Stephanie Miller, Adam Gutmann. . some kids that are really special to me and its really sad not seeing them everyday. I also see myself getting sad that i can not see my parents everyday. I talk to them quite alot but its not the same. It kind of scares me too since my mom is going through alot, and batteling cancer, and my inconsiderate brother takes no responsibility in the family. It was supposed to be my year at college my time to be   off duty   and my brother thinks its appropriate to go and work in the Netherlands. I have such ill feelings for that boy. Besides that. I mean life goes on. You can't get stuck in a rut. you got to live each day as it comes. There has been some drama in my   new   life here at UT. It is all a bunch of dumb girls who think they know what they are talking about and they really dont. I am a pretty chill, I am not a competer. ill quit before the race begins just because i don't care about things that much. And especially with guys, I am not the type of girl to be a homewrecker. And for Petes sake I am only 19- a freshman- its not like the people we have found this week are going to be our soulmates for life. Anat- the girl whose giving me the worst vibes in the world thinks she can call dibs on every guy- who is she to do that??? whatever- again i don't compete- take them all and be happy- i am too worried about my grades and other things that are improtant to me. This writing assignment is actually pretty cool. Its like a way to vent out whats on your mind and get a grade for it. It is really hot in my dorm room right now, and the cd i was listening to is over, Lynard Skynard, what a good cd. I think my car phone is broken too and its like the fourth one i have gone through- I got these cute pictures today at tops photo. i am really getting into the swing of things here at UT and its really comforting. I came with alot of friends. some who i didnt reallly want to hang out with some I did- I have met alot of cool cool peeps and i am definatly having a good time. Its really hard to find something to talk about with there is one minute left----  

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y
So I started my college life about two weeks ago. It has all gone pretty much as to what I had expected it to be like. I live in University Towers which is an off campus dorm and I have met tons of new people. I live with four girls whom I didnt know when I first started school. Some older people at the University set us up. I really like the fact that we are all starting new with each other. We get to experience our new life together. We get along great and do everything together. I am also really enjoying the fact that I get to make all my decisions on my own. Not having parents around all the time has its up's and it's downs. I mean I don't have someone annoying me all the time about finishing my work I have to realize when it has to be turned in and different deadlines for tests and projects. I have however found it kind of difficult to really take on a full schedule and truly realize everything that has to be taken care of in one full day. I have noticed that there aren't enough hours in the day to get everything completly finished. With homework, reading, running errands and outside activites there is so much to do with so little time. My roomate and I have had grown very close over the past two weeks. We have developed many habbits that we both enjoy. We realized that it takes the longest for the two of us to get ready and we love listening to music while we get ready because it pumps us up and gets us excited. I feel that the two of us are only going to get closer as our college life unfolds itself. We both experienced Texas Recruitment together. We both wanted to join the same sorority so that we could have another aspect of our life in college together to be the same. We accomplished another goal of us and we both got bids to the same sorority. I feel at home whenever I am at the house. Each and every girl is excited with open arms to welcome all 63 of the new pledges. I am so glad that not only are we roomates with each other we are sorority sisters as well. Other than my social life and living arrangements at school, the most important aspect is my education. I am taking 4 classes which comes out to 14 hours. I chose the classes that I wanted to take and the first two weeks have gone great. The work load started off fine and I think that I am going to be able to handle everything. I was a little nervous at first about the large classes because I came from a high school that was a decent size but the classes ranged from 10-35 people. My classes at Texas on the other hand were quite large. I didnt know if I was going to be able to concentrate during a lecture if there were on average 100-300 people in the classes. As soon as one day passed I knew it wouldnt be a problem as long as I got to class early so that I would have a decent seat and be able to listen as closly as I could. As these last two weeks have flown by I have realized differnt tecniques to make the rest of my experiences at Texas even better. I have learned from my mistakes and I have gained from my experiences.                       

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: n