aimagic/big5essay huggingface dataset:
what am I ganna do ? psychology, freshman seminar, all I can do is smoke a cigarette. gosh, am I really ganna get cancer? I hear that every cigarette you smoke takes 5 minutes off your life. my hair is getting long. I wish I could have long hair like Rapunzel. the blonde lady on the wallpaper of my old house. in the guest bathroom. she sat on an elephant. surrounded by trees and shrubbery. god how I used to want to be that lady. I remember as a little girl standing in that bathroom, staring at the wall and at myself in the mirror. where does time go? am I ganna be able to pull off this college business? a computer that is so stubborn. I have no clue how to use computers! I wish I was in all writing classes. I have so much homework. how am I ganna get into the school of communications? do I want to be an english major? gees! 10 hours at the sorority house a week! I wonder if I'll be able to concentrate there. the sound of the paper on my cigarette burning as I inhale. that sketches me out. I need to quit. I need to study. so, there was the door. I got a ticket to the game. what game? I have no clue! football? basketball? I have no clue! I need to get my act together. damn, I'm out of cigerettes. the food downstairs makes me nautious. I wonder if anyone reads this. hello, my name is natalie, my friends call me nat. there are 2 of us. nat berg and nat lep. pronounced "leap". both h-town girls. this floor is hard. scratchy, dirty, blue-gray carpet. we had a roach last night. julie is allergic to roaches. that was dad on the phone. sounds kind of pissed. we are going to los angeles for Rosh Hashana. Daniel is there. I can't believe he has mono. that is crazy. he decieded to rush. there is only one jewish fraturnity there. it is so diferent there. beautiful weather. I hate the winter. I hope by then I'll feel better about my classes. I'm so scared. so scared. maybe everyone feels overwhelmed. ut is so huge. how am I supposed to make good grades? I don't even know how to get to class. I'm ganna die. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
I don't know how other people (freshmen) are coping with this new transition from high school to college; I feel stress out. Hmm. maybe I'm not so completely at ease like I had claimed earlier. I suppose that I am at ease at this moment is because I don't have any class to go to for hours, and that I think I am at ease right now, is because this is the second week of classes. However, I'm still stress, very much so. (I feel like I'm rambling on and on here. ) I am so very much relief that I have done the pretesting to get one credit hour of the research experiments. I like to try to do things ahead of time so that I won't be in any jams later on. Besides, what with the way my schedule is set, I have to budget my time wisely. Moreover, I am worried that I won't be able to get high grades as I did when I was in high school. Everything in college is so very different and challenging. Sometimes, I feel as if I can't keep up with other people. I admire those people who seems to have everything in control and makes everything so easy to them. I just can't do that. I'm the type that has to put in "extra work" so that I can keep up with them. I'm not saying that I'm stupid, gosh no! I believe that everyone is unique in their own little ways. Hmmm. there is one thing, rather, one small minor fear  that I just can't seem to overcome: fear of animals, especially dogs. Well, I took the pretest and in there, it had asked me questions about animal phobia. I really want to know what these fears mean, which brings me to another thought. I always have questions, such questions that are so detailed some people called it "stupid questions. " I always find myself having questions about everything. I guess  I'm just a curious person. Hmmmm. I guess this is enough typing for this assignment. I can't think of anything else to write about. Who ever is doing the reading on this writing assignment, I'm sorry it isn't anything that is as exciting as you'll like it to be. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
I tried to clam her down before talking to her about what was wrong. When I finally got a complete sentence out of her she told me that a girl who I was friends with, well we weren't like best friends or anything, but I had two classes with her and talked to her everyday, had been killed in a car accident earlier that day. I sat there for a second not even realizing what she was saying. When I got off the phone I went to my mom and told her very matter-of-factly what had happened. The next day I went to school not knowing what to expect, but after having been in class for only a short while and hearing my teachers and principal attempting to explain what happened and try and calm everyone down I was bawling. That's when it hit me, I just didn't understand it. Walking into the classrooms which I had shared with her only the day before was the weirdest feeling, I could see my other classmates in the hall and as they reached the classroom, some screamed, some wept and some just turned and walked away very quickly. The following days were exhausting, I don't think I had every cried that much in my life. I couldn't be at home alone, I don't know what I was afraid of, except just having time to think about it. Despite the hurting that I and the others that knew her felt, I was happy for her. She was in a better place, she was an awesome person and I have no doubt that she is in Heaven now. The funeral was huge it felt like our entire school was there. Her closest friends, including her boyfriend who was driving the car that day, all got up and told funny stories about her and how awesome she really was, that was comforting, but also extremely hard to listen to. At the intersection where she was killed people gathered at all hours of the day and night, it was a very saddening sight to see all of her friends just staring at the cross surrounded by flowers, her favorite candy and pictures, which still stands there. When I went to the cross all I could do was stare at the street and the markings which the police had made only a short time before. After the funeral I only went to her grave once and that was after attending my neighbors funeral, they were buried practically next to each other. It was all I could do to keep my attention on the service. When the time had finally come for my to walk over to her spot, I was fine until I faced it directly and saw her picture laying among the flowers and notes everyone had left. I lost it, I almost fell, but my sister caught me. I was a mess. I wrote her countless letters that never made it to the cross or to the site, but I know she knows how I feel and that comforts me. I pray for her family and close friends all the time, it was hard enough for me I can't imagine what it was like for them. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: n
I feel a bit stressed due to the fact that my first three tests are all next week. What will they be like?  Will I do well?  Or, will I enter the large classroom, with a crowd of students all cramming in the information for those last final moments before the test and freeze after spending countless hours preparing. The new environment is wonderful, however many changes come along with it. The first test of the year, the first test at college. Each exam seems to have much more bearing upon your grades than in the past. Some thoughts about how I'm going to go about studying have crossed my mind over the past few days. These hours have most likely been wasted, as I could have been studying or reading material which will be covered on my tests. However, this is not quite the way I always function. I often tend to spend too much time worrying about how I will go about doing something, rather than just doing it. Anyway, I spent a couple of hours studying today and I have figured out what time of each of my days between now and Wednesday, and how each precious moment will be spent. I'm sure it will all work out, but until these first three tests are finished, I know that some time will be spent worrying about how the final result turn out. Those are just some thoughts about school which are probably quite typical of a freshman. It's strange to come from the top, back down to a little freshman. It appears that quite a few people have decreased their level of maturity back down to a freshman in high school. A girl I know walked back into her room last night to find her pictures colored on and holes punched in her eyes. Seems a bit disturbing, doesn't it?  There's always the issue of talking to a boy and everyone assuming that your "going steady. "  It's difficult to even go to someone's room of the opposite sex without everyone assuming that you must have been doing something rather than talking. I guess everything, with time will pass. I'm really enjoying the transition, for the most part. It's strange to not see some of my best friends, but this is all part of growing up (Not to sound hokey). So far, it's been lots of fun and a time of many changes. I'm eager to see what lies in the future and continue to make new friends.   

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: n
Okay the way my mind works. Well at the present moment many things are running through my head. Everyday I think of the same things over and over again until I get them resolved. My mind worries a lot. Right now I hope that I get all of my assignments done including this one, and that I do them well. My main concern right now is doing well in all of my classes. I'm so scared that I am not going to do well here and that I am going to have to drop out and go back home. Then I won't get as good as an education that I hoped for, which will inturn will prevent me from getting into any good law school. Then I won't get a good job, so I can't support myself much less a family, and I wind up a bum for the rest of my life. It's amazing how the littlest things have the biggest affect on something. Actuallly, I was just thinking, I hope that my parents will even have the money to pay for my education. If I can't do that than I don't even have to worry about any of this, because I won't be going here at all. I miss my family. For eighteen years I have never been apart from any member of my immediate family. I don't know how I have survived the last two weeks without them. I miss my Mother especially. Yesterday, I left home again because I went back for the weekend, and I felt as if I were leaving for the first time. The same feelings overcame as  they did when I first left her. I wanted to cry. I want to cry now just talking about all of this, but I won't. I tend to do that a lot. Hide my emotions. I guess I just figure that by hiding them, I am not as vulnerable to other people as I would be if I were to actually show them. I just realized how incredibly slow I am at typing because twenty minutes have just passed since I began this writting assignment. So on that note I will end my writting entry. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: n
Looking at this assignment I'm trying to think freely but it is constantly in my mine that I want a good grade. Like every other student, I don't like doing homework but I writing so it is okay. I have been writing papers all day because the teachers have been craming us with homework all weekend because od a long weekend. I know I should have done this earlier but I am a procrastinator and I often wait until the last minute. I am slowly changing that habit because I know I can't procrastinate if I want to do good in school. My feelings towards this paper is kind of wierd because I don't know what I am suppose to be feeling. I am just writing what comes to my mind. Honestly I don't even understand the topic. All I know is that I'm suppose to write non stop for twenty minutes and put down anything that comes to my mind. I know this has nothing to do with school but I keep thinking about my girlfriend back in houston. I was suppose to see her this weekend but her parents wouldn't let her come up to Austin. It is okay because I know I'll see her next weekend. I was going to write this earlier like on Friday but my friends came to visit me and stayed here for the weekend so I didn't find time to write this assignment. So far I like the class because it is the only one that interests me. all my other classes are boring. The is the only class that I enjoy the lectures in. I'm not saying this just to make the professor happy. I'm saying this because I mean it. I am running out of things to write about because nothing is coming up to mind right now. Oh yeah, I think the experiments are a good idea because the students get to do something fun in order to earn their grade. I thought about writing the research papper because I think that might be easier but I think the experiments would be funner. I have met some people in class and they seem to be pretty nice. I also met some of my friends that I already knew who came here from houston just like me. I have no idea what this writing is for nut since the teacher ask us to do it I am. I don't know how long I have been writing because things have been just coming into my mind. I thought I would be watching the time a lot but it is suprising me that I am not. I just keep writing until I don't know what else to write. Well things are starting to stop coming into my mind. All I am thinking about is how I can make this paper keep going longer without me having to stop. Will I think my feelings for the past twenty minutes have been exciting, anxious, lost, suprise, and not understanding. This has been a interesting paper because I have no idea what I have been writing. Well I guess ill push the submit button now. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y
the computer is not very easy for  me type on I would never say anything because me dad bought it for me I love my dad. he really got the shaft at work elaine is a horrible person. mom is so protective of dad its only been two minutes I wonder if I can think for twenty minutes I bet I do all the time and don't even notice,  this is hard because I think about more than o ne thing at once and they aren;t really complete thoughts just flashes in my haed but I know what thay mean. I should have taken a typing class in high school. the sky has really pretty simpson clouds I wonder what I have to do in all my classes am I doing thi right I need to be more organized I've been thinking about being organized all day I can't stop thinking about the living room curtains and a file box for my papers. maybe 15 it too many hours I hope I go to bio this chair really bugs me because it doesn't fit un der the desk. I should buy a different one I don't think I have enough money for all this stuff. where am I going to get money. maybe I should have gotten a job instead of taking another class I was thinking of something and now I forgot it. I wonder if adam and I will get married he would be scared if he knew I said that I sound like a stupid teen ager out of the 50's when I say that. I would marry him if I had to though I think I probably do really love him I dn't get sick of him I could be with him all day and I don't even notice I hope nothing bad happens even for a while my parents made it through college but they had a few fallouts. I hope we just marrily make it along untill we're old and gray but I know how nieve that is. did I spell nieve right I wish I had a better spelling sense I guess I could blame it all on my first grade teacher but that seems silly. my room mate came in I hope we are good friends. I really like her but I don't know how to make friends with people. I wonder why I can be friends with kids and poeple I don't think are important but its hard for me to be friends with people I like and want to be friends with. I fell like I'm coming on too strong but then I hold back and they think I don't like them. also people told me I'm not very approachable. I guess thats good because I don't like when random guy come up to me. I don't know how to get out of it without being really rude. cheryl is so perfect she can do what she wants and she is always so polite. tricia was like that too. I wish I was in 8th grade again for a day. whenever I think of middle school I get kind of queasy and real mad at my mom what a horrible time. I couldn't even get within a certian field of the house or I would sense a horrible aura. when I had to go I would force my self and run to my room and be a nasty depressed person. on day the church lady cought me running to the creek and I think she was genuinally concerned. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y
The reality that college isn't just one continuous party is finally beginning to set in now that I have chpaters of information to read in all of my classes. I think somewhere in my mind I thought that college would be easier and less stressful than high school because it seems like there'e more free time. Well, I know now that this will not be so. All my free hours during the week will be full of reading, studying, writing, reading, studying, writing. I'm really afraid that I won't know what to expect on examinations. I've spent about an hour reading twenty pages out of my psychology book and can't imagine what I'm going to do. Reading and reading gets so boring, except when the material is very interesting. I also started reading my Economics, and enjoyed reading the parts that I recognized as being covered in class. I've discovered that going out every night and staying out until 2:00 a. m. is not going to cut it. The first week of school I tried this and could hardly stay awake during class. There are lots of pressures both externally and internally to go out and "party" and meet people every night. Externally, I'm a member of a sorority and we're supposed to party a lot with our sorority sisters. Internally, I feel like I'm missing out or something if I don't go. Maybe there's a cute guy out there just waiting for me to meet him, yeah right. I ran into this guy randomly on the street outside of UTC that I had met at Orientation. We recognized eachother and talked for a minute. A couple days later I saw him in my EConomics class. It would be so cool if some how we were to start talking or something. But, great things like that usually don't happen to me. My roommate and friend across the hall both make fun of me for having such a crush on this guy. I really like them a lot. We all got so lucky with the girls staying in our hall. Everyone is so nice and we get along well. I especially like my roommate. We have the same interests, likes, and dislikes. We aren't in the same sorority which kind of makes me sad, but we still do stuff together. Last night we stayed in and worked on our psych pretesting which took me like two hours after the UT football game. We were pretty bummed that they lost. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
so here I am trying to figure out what it is that I am thinking. maybe I shouldn't have given advice to genevieve about her mother. I don't  really know the situation and even more than that the little that I do know. I have never experienced. adrian too. he must really be having a difficult time dealing with the death of his mother. man, my finger really hurts. the manicurist was trying to drill my cuticles off. but they're pretty. I don't know what I should do with the whole beta thing. they are all nice, but I am tired of being pressured into situations that I am not comfortable. maybe I set myself up for it. right now I am a little emabrassed because I am really hungry and these 20 minutes are not passing quick enough. I know the instructions say not to worry about grammer and spelling, but it's really hard to read my own writing and have all these misspelled words pop up. nose itches. I wonder if I will be able to handle rush and my classes. as it is I am already blowing off my other classes for organic. even more than that, I hope I get my financial \aid in on time. I really do feel bad about making my father feel like he wasn;t there for me. my mom says that it'll work itself out but this whole financial crap really is upsetting. I know of families that have been torn apart beacuse of that. all I know is that they'll have my ass until I am like 40. which really sucks. an education shouldn't be so expensive that once you get one and start a job you are so in the hole that you're broke all the time. maybe I should drop out and og to massage therapy school like I wanted to a long time ago. I can't believe  that I haven't heard from dannee. I am really upset about what our friendship has become. sometimes I even think of andy and I don;t know why. he's probably happily married with a kid. (I am really glad that it's not my kid, though. cause then I'd really be screwed with the whole moiney thing) 5 more minutes. I can't believe how little I have written. I must be the slowest typer. there's my stomach again. at least I don't have any classes today. that way I can print up my organic and biology and go home to eat. even when I get there I don't know how to react with genevieve. she complains about her mother and then does the exact thing that she complains about. I bet I do the same thing. wow that guy is really talking very loud. I wonder why (2 minutes) people walk aroiund libraries talking so loud. how inconsiderate. I even had a wierd dream last night. but I think if I were to think about it now my finers would not be able  to type quick enough to write it in the last couple of minutes. I wonder who called us this morning at like 7:30. good thing I was able to fall back to sleep. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y