My love for computers and hate for computers is simultaneously growing as I sit here and write this assignment. I don't understand any software but everything for IBM, and the Macintosh is completely foreign to me. I must have already asked at least 30 questions regarding the system, but hey I am new to this whole Apple thing. Apple should just get rid of itself entirely and sell itself to Microsoft and the computer world will be a lot happier. Every time I type the word a lot, I am reminded of my English teacher in 10th grade, or maybe it was 9th who dispelled the myth that a lot was one word. I'll begin to type it as one, but then realize that I should have written it as two. I think it is really strange how some teachers you remember their words, but cannot remember their names or faces. I see a lot of people around campus just like that although I remember their faces and words, for the life of me I cannot remember their names, and I would fell absolutely terrified if they were to come up to me and use the overly cliched phrase, Azi, do you remember me?? More than likely I would not, or I would be to involved in my own thoughts to try to recall who the individual standing before me was. I do that a lot. People will have said that they may have called my name 3 or 4 times before I responded by just looking up. My thoughts consume me sometimes. I have a problem with daydreaming. I know that it is not necessarily a bad thing, but nonetheless it can get in the way of a lot of really important things. It is a good thing that in this particular assignment, daydreaming is the foundation for all my thoughts, and will assist me in coming up with ideas to write. I was talking about my thoughts, and how I daydream. Well, lately all I can think about is the perfect scenario for me to meet the man I am to marry. It seems foreign, and should probably not clutter the mind of a Freshmen in college, but it has been particularly bothered me. I have only really been involved in one serious relationship, if it can even be called that, and that in itself was a summer fling. I went to a summer church retreat, and I think this is where everything started to form, regarding marriage, because I met guys for the first time that I could honestly see myself marrying. This has never happened before, and as I glance around the campus, I just don't see them there, and it frustrates me knowing that they are somewhere else, and I am here longing for there company. It is not like I need there company, no yes it is that was a lie. I miss them a whole lot because I have never, ever been able to relate to a guy like the guys that I met at this church retreat in California. I think I forgot to mention that most of them are dispersed throughout Cali, and I have very little chances of seeing them ever again, unless I actively seek a job to where I can live, go to school, and everything in the wonderful Golden State of California. All of there pictures, guys and girls from the retreat are plastered on the wall above my desk, and I miss them terribly. I have to go back some day, I haven't enjoyed myself, and have been so completely relaxed as I had in California. I know it has nothing really to do with the beaches, although it plays a little  bit of why I would like to go there, and the earthquakes certainly are not the reason I would want to maintain a lifestyle there, it's the people of my religious community. it's a bond, a connection that going to a Baptist church, or a Jewish synagogue embodies. That spirit is completely alive in the people in my religion, just like any religion. It would be ideal if I could just go to school there, get a chance to meet a bunch of people. Get my education, get my education, get my education, finish my education, and I stress this because that is a big part of my life, but I am continually fascinated by marriage, commitment, meeting the man of my dreams, meeting the man of my dreams. It's nothing particularly fancy, or romantic, I am not asking for the Ken and Barbie playhouse world with the plastic pink convertible, I just want to get married, start a family, and live my life with all the values, challenges, and commitments it has to offer. I just don't think that I can have that right now, and that is why I spend so much of my time thinking about the endless possibilities of everything having to do with relationships and evaluating my life with and without everything, and just dreaming, night and day about how wonderful and how absolutely dreadful it would be to be married. The challenges are endless in the pursuit of life. And if I may I would like to end with a statement that Linda Ellerbee made after every news statement, perhaps my favorite statement ---and so it goes. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y