I am sore, my pecs hurt. hmmmm, I need a woman, I can't find anyone here, all the girls I meet are either ugyl, stupid, or taken, life is beginning to suck. I love UT but I am having trouble finding myself, I am not sure what I am going to do. I have always wanted to be a doctor, but what happens if I don't get into med school. what can I do with a bs in biochemistry? I hate living off campus. by the end of the day, I begin to smell, and I can't get home and take a shower unlike everyone else. I hope my car is going to be fixed by this weekend, things will be so much more convenient for me if it does get fixed. I wish I had gone to an earlier orientation and set my schedle right, I don't lke having 5 hours in between classes. ugh. sigh. I need a woman. I just want someone to hang out with whenever I get bored. right now I can't get into contact with any of my friends, so I have nnothing bettert to do, I am hungry. I want to go home. but I would have to walk fifteen minutes to the stop, wait a half hour at the damn stop, then wait another half hour to get home, then walk about ten minues, then it would take about another fifteen minutes for my food to get ready. ugh. I am bored, I need a woman. I wish I knew how I was percioeved by woman, I don't know if they find me attractive, funny, cute, or anything, I am completly clueless. I wish someone would just comeup and tell me exactly wha they think of me. sigh. lets see, my mouth tastes funny. I wish I had ome food on me. damn. damn, why does v have to have a boyfriend already, she just broke up with someone. I wish she liked me. I hate being "just friends" when I want more. I don't want to type this in the smf, I have an eerie feeling that someone I know is loooking over my shoulder, watching me write this stuff that I wouldnt tell my closest freiends. if she wasnt such a close friend, I think I would tell her, but she is like my best friend, and now I am afraid, no I know, that we wouldnt be friends if I were to tell her, I know she will freak out, heck I ve seen her do it before. I am so depressed. I need a woman. i hope no one is watching me type this, I am getting paranoid. damn I am sore, my back hurts, my arms hurt, and my chest hurts. I need a job. I need a woman. sigh. what should I do with my life, I think my friends don't like me anymore, I am becoming a nuisance to the I think. I tyr my hardest to not mooch off of people, but I always get bad vibes from everyone, like I am not wanted. I am sure that they arent right, I know that the y  are false, but I can't shake the feeling. I try really hard to be as nice as possible to people now, but I can't shake generalizations that people dish out to me. some of my friends think of me as a pervert, even though my mind dosnt think that way. I never think of nastiness or sex, I just mention it every once in a  while for jokes, I have too much time to myselfs. I thiknk thats why I am so insecure, I have to much time to think about my problems and such that I dwell on them, and make small things look big. if I had someone to hang out with whenever I am bored, then I think I would feel much better about myelf, but I find myself walking around campus a lot, and its so hard to get in contact with my friends, that I can't hang out with them. ,. I find myself drifting away into isolation. sigh. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n