aimagic/big5essay huggingface dataset:
This is a little confusing. I am not quite sure what I ahould be doing. Oh well I guess it really doesn't matter. I am glad I am going home this weekend. I really miss everyone. It will cool to just hang out at home and not have to worry about what I should be doing right now. College is a lot of reading. I am actually learning a lot more than I learned in a whole semester of high school. I enjoy that but it does get to be a bit tedious, expecially science. Well iguess it can only get better form here on. I was confused about a lot of stuff, like what to do with all of my spare time. I was going to have a job but then they took away my work study and now I have too much free time. That's okay because I didn't really want to work anyway. But I can't believe the lady never called be back. Tha t is just rude etiquette. Oh well. There's nothing I can do about it anyway. I wonder why we are shunned by our dorm mates. I guess we weren't social enough or something. We tried. But at least they aren't outright mean to us, they are just very cordial and you know what that means. Doh!  Oh well. It's fun rooming with Ashley, I just don't know why she chooses to bother me on purpose sometimes. I think she can be very immature at times. But I would rather put up with that than with someone who barely talks or just doesn't like me for whatever reason. I don't want to go to all those meetings tonight that sucks!  Maybe I just won't go. But I probably will. I can't shirk my responsibilites just because I don't want to. Maybe some people need to do that once in a while though. I wonder what Plato would have to say about that. His books are cool. I like the idea of Socrates just sitting around waiting to confuse people. If you make people question their own values, then what do you consider as your values?  I don't know. LThat's just odd. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y
The way I feel has always been of interest to me. i have experienced so many emotions that at times my mind seem confused and bogged down with internal conflict. I have some what of a codependent personality and love to have relationships (longlasting perferably) with members of the opposite sex. To be completely honest, sex is usually not the primary motive for me in a relationship. Currently I feel somewhat lonely as all of my friends are currently in relationships that have been very beneficial to them. I live in an apartment which is not as advantageous as it seems. The people at Jester seem to be easily approached and my friends have met far more new people than I. I don't believe I am as happy about being in college for this reason. I love meeting new people. I find it hard to concentrate on work and am constantly thinking about certain people or friends I left behind. I seem to dwell on the past lately. I go on eating binges and then won't have an appetite for days to follow. I work out constantly and lately have been woried about my physical appearance. I many times dwell onthe question "Why do I not have a girlfriend, why do they not find me attractive. "  I guess part of the reason I feel this way is simply because as a child I was teased about being overweight. I guess I developed a level of self consciousness as a child and still to this day am woried about my weight. I've tried meeting people but the conventional means just do not seem to work for me. It is hard for me to approach a girl and that tends to bother me somewhat. Personally I tend to avoid large groups simply because id rather get acquainted with a person on a one on one basis. I also worry excessively about my grades. I guess from reading what I wrote my biggest feeling/emotion is lonliness. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y
I feel stressed as there is not enough time for anything. Will this ever slow down. Always things, always processes. I am glad school has started again, yet  I am worried how everything will turn out. I am angry with my step mother. A death in the family has made me depressed, and happy at the same time because I know that she is no longer hurting and is in a happier place. I am frustrated with growing out my hair. My dads and my relationship has grown since our talk last week. I am dissapointed in the way I acted a couple of days ago. I hope my dads and my relationship continues to grow and build. I am ready for the heat to go away it is miserable out side. I feel dissapointed in myselfif I don't work out daily, and I probably shouldnt. I love my new apartment, but sometimes I feel lonely. I think I will like all of my classes this year because they all seem very interesting. I need to enjoy something to do well in it. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: n
I like to hear music. For some reason, I recently discovered old rock, specifically the group Pink Floyd. Their songs evoke strange feelings of relaxation within me. Why though? I suppose the smoothness of the words accompanied by the awesome guitar. I am reminded of the lyrics "so do you think you can tell, Heaven and Hell, Blue skies from pain, can you tell a green field, from a cold steel rail?  A smile from a veil?  Do you think you can tell?. cold comfort for change. how I wish you were here, were just two lost soles swimming in a fish bowl, year after year, running over the same old ground, but have we found the same old fears, wish you were here. " --Pink Floyd's song "Wish You Were Here. "      I find myself relaxed yet down though. I am disturbed somewhat from the words; but, why am I feeling relaxed. I think it is from the awesome music and pitch of the singer's voice. Their exotic, at least to me, beginning seems to subliminally evoke depth of thinking even though the words may seem stupid. But, the part of the song I enjoy the most is the fishbowl analogy. I think it is ingenious and I am reminded of myself and my inability to find the right girl of my dreams. For some reason, the analogy portion evokes a sort of chivalric ambition within me. I desire a bit of love and romance from a special person that I want to meet. the perfect girl. Someone with the same aspirations as me. A person that when I look into her eyes I find myself lost. Yet, physically, the act of looking into her eyes would have no physical affect to me in the real world. silly.      Anyway, I am aware that Pink Floyd took drugs and were possibly high while writing this song. I do not condone to taking drugs. In fact I dispise drugs. They ruin lives and for what. So you can loose your mind for a couple of minutes and kill yourself. The best way to counter drugs is not to try them at all. Abstinence from drugs and getting drunk is the best things in life, at least I think so. I don't need to get myself drunk at a party to have a good time. I just need to go regularly and I will have an awesome time. I am reminded of a party I went to a few weeks back. This is a disco party where you dance with girls. I went to the party and was dancing and having a good time. Unfortunately, the other guys needed to get drunk to dance. So, they all went outside to get drunk and came back in. They were the biggest loosers I have ever seen in my life. I suppose they don't have enough self esteem to go out and dance with the girls. Unfortunately, I feel that I miss out because I tend to do the right thing. That is why I am rarely invited to parties. In my whole highschool experience, I have only been to two parties. Pathetic huh!     Anyway I look forward to college to meet some nice girls that will like me for being myself, the good guy. This paper will self destruct after you read it! just kiddin' 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
I'm really hungry. I'll have to go shopping after this. I don't know what to write. I really need to catch up on my reading today. I don't know why I always leave things to the last minute. I was going to try to keep up with things this year but I'm not doing a real goodd job. I have to do computer science tommorrow. that will be easy. I should have called darcie and megan this weekend and hung out with them. kyle should have come up too. I'm surprised I got mike to come hang out last night since he almost never leaves his apartment. I really want to go smoke but I probably shouldn't. I need to cut down. I wish I could think of a place to put these stickers. I had to kill a spider but I missed him. what weas up with all those spider questions in the pretesting. pretesting took a long time. and it seemed like a lot of pointless questions. I need to go sign up for experiments. there sure are a lot of beer cans lying around. I need to get everything cleaned up in here. I haven't finished unpacking yet. I have to go look for a job tommorrow. I wish I didn't have to work, but it will be good for me. I won't waste so much time hopefully. damn, I haven't been writing very long. I hate doing these things cause if I'm thinking about writing everything I think, then I don't think normally. I wrote think too much. there's so much shit I have to do. and I don't want to do it. I'll probably end up not doing any homework again today just cause I don't have to have it done yet. I can't wait to get out of school. I wonder if anyone will actually read this. if so, what's up. I'm getting tired of writing. I'm so hungry. I should start clipping coupons to take with me. I guess it'll make a big difference and I don't have a lot of money. I wonder what my sister's doing.  I should start taking some more pictures. I haven't really done any of that for a while. I wonder what's on that roll of film in my camera. it's been in there so long I don't know what I took pictures of. okay about five more minutes. shit. I wonder where I should try to get a job. hopefully something fun but I don't know what. I feel like I should have more written down for twenty minutes. oh well at least I did something. I don't want to write anymore. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y
Today, what am I feeling. actually my roommate and I were talking about how we werer homesick. not in a bad way. we just miss home. I wish I knew what it was about home that I miss. is it the people? no not really considering I didn't have any really good friends when I left home. it it my parents? yeah some of it is that. but there's just this emptiness and I can't figure it out. I also feel like I am in a hella bad mood. it could be pms but it think it is a little too early. I really really hate pms. I get totally irritable and I was noticing yesterday how I felt really annoyed with people. especially my roomate and another friend. I figured it was just cause I was tired and sick of people in general but now I think maybe it is something more. well the stress of school finally begins. I'm remembering how much I hate stress. this stress is alittle different because its mixed with a lot of anxiety. I am a very anxious person at times and I hate it. I get very freaked out when I don't know what is going to happen. I guess you could say I have a big fear of the unknown. when I was applying to high school I used to freak out a lot and have crying fits because I didn't know where I was going to school. then this spring I would have freak out attacks about where I would live. I hate not knowing what will happen in the future. I think its kinda funny that I am a christian yet I struggle with the unknown. part of being a christian is having faith in god to work out all the things he has for you. but I find it really hard to trust in god and just let the fear go. I guess I have my weak areas just like all christians. anyways anxiety, I am really anxious about school. I have no idea what to expect as far as tests and grades. I told myself that because I couldnt drink this semester I would try really hard to get good grades. but it is just so hard to make myself sit down and study. I am areally lazy person and I don't like to work very hard if I don't' have to. I'm starting to ahve doubts about my major. I reaaly love spanish but I'm not sure I'm good enough to pursue it as a major. I guess there are just a lot of people in my spanish class who seem to be  so much better that I am at spanish and I get discouraged. anyways, I think my friend graham made a good point when he said that a lot of people didn't place out of spanish hours like I did and that college spanish teaches you a lot morethan high school spanish. I think he was right. but still, I'm just not real sure any more. ugh the people next door play their music so loud. it really is rude. I wonder if we play our music too loud nad jus tdon;t realize it. hmmmm. well time feels like its going by really slowly. perhaps my bad mood is jus t the devil trying to take away from the awesome things god did this weekend. well that's a thought. that retreat kicked some booty!!!!!! 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n
ok so now I'm writing I'm doing this so I can just juno into the assignment its not very interesting so far and my tyoing is slower than my thinking and I had a completely different thought while I was typing that lst sentence ok now wehat I'm still typing I could talk about myself but it would sound kind of lame. my guitar is out of tune and its missing a locking nut and the pickup selector switch is missing its little decorative cover, I could buy new parts but its kind of depressing right now because I don't have any money and it makes me want to give up guitar even more we played a show last night and screwed up a little more than usual but this guy in the band before us that was pretty good but all the same kind of music pop punk was trying to intimidate me by staring at me it didnt work then but its working now the bass player said we were good but I thiought we were terrible there was no harmony the bass and guitar were out of tune anbd the drummer was playing to a different tune is what it seemed like. the vocals werent so good either. we had to cut ourset by nore than hald wich is especially bad for us sinc we have 14 songs and they are all very distinct, not all pop punk or punk ska but some rockabilly and some primus ounding metal stuff a little emo too. I  forget what else oh yeah like old school punk with the snotty vocals well. anyways my dad got mad because I was supposed to help some guy move and I bailed halfway through to go play the show, playing live is like a drug, this time it wasnt so grreat, but weve playeed about 12 or 13 shows and some have been awesome, the crowd going insane because of us were aboutt o lose it any second just trying to hold on to our instruments long enbough to make the next note come out barely even able to keep our feet on the ground. anyways thats all over now because I have to get a job and go to college and theres no time for it ill find other ways to make myself feel good but that was a grweat one and I know my bandmates are depressed about it too. anyways my dad was mad because I did that and left even though I got the 40 bucks and so he's really mad and I don't even feel at home hre, at home asnd I don't feel completely at home in my dorm so I'm restless and it sucks. anyways so thats the whole of that messs and I'm just ttyping now because that whole thing was like one big brain sigh and now I'm breathing normal again. stop. nothing to say. maybe the brain works like that spasms of thought and then kind of a rest. I guess mr pennebaker would know, anyways I smell cinnamon buns and so I'm going to go downstairs for some brakfast and tension and so the food is going to tase bitter, I sort of awant to fgo back to my dorm but I don't really have any friends there yet. oh yeah I was going to go well that was about 20 min stop. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y
I am so glad to be home this weekend but at the same time I really feel like crying right now. I don't know what is wrong with me . I don't want to go back to school I really hate it there. I really just wish that I could make some friends it seems like everyone already has made new friends and they don't want any more. I just can't be the type of person to go uot and meet new people. but I may not even be here next semester so what is the point of making friends if I will be at a different school in a month. atleast I have Adam there with me at school I am only happy when I am with him but I can't be with him all the time I have got to live my own life. he says that if I hate the dorm so much that I should move in with him but I am really scared to , I think because I am afraid he will get tired of me. iam also worried that if I change schools next semester that he will give upo on us and want to be with someone that he has there with him all the time. he says that he doesn't want me to leave and I believe him buthim saying that is really unfair to what I want. I am just not happy there at school and he shouldn't want me to stay there just because it makes him happy. atleast things are better now than they were when I first moved to austin . I know that I cried a lot and it was probably annoying but carrye didnt have to yell at me about it she is my friend and my roommate and she should understnad that the transistion to college is not that easy for everyone. I am scared to talk to her about anything because I am afraid she is going tro jump down my throat again. I wish I was good at talking back to people and that I wouldnt let everyone walk all over me . but I can't help it I don't know what to say to people when they trake advantage of me. I don't want to make them mad at me but what can I say . the few times that I did talk back they embarrass me by making it seem like my fault, and like I am freaking out. why are people so mean. I am so ready to just be married and have a job and live my life and not have to follow everyone's rules no one seems to understnd me but hey thats ok I don't even understand myself. I just want to be happy and I am not happy right now and now that I am home I want to go back to school because I feel to growm up and mature for my friends that are here. I will figure it all out one day  

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
My first reaction to this assignment was to just write that I felt nothing and perhaps continue writing that for 20 minutes; however, I am interested in where this is going. Right now my boyfriend is poking me as he displays how I can touch-type and he cannot. The other day, we went to go and buy fish. We drove around Austin I don't know how many times just looking for pet stores. We drove to Highlands Mall, Lakeline Mall, Petsmart, and Petco. I finally, after searching and carefully chosing, found fish that were supposed. It really upset me that out of the 4 fish that I bought, none of them adapted well in the fish tank environment I previously had. The sole fish that I possessed in that tank ate all of the food I would drop into the tank continuously. It really began to bother me when I saw him nipping at the other fish's tails. So, I took matters into my own hands and separated him from my new, smaller fish. I understand that these unpleasant changes were my own fault. I knew that I was supposed to introduce the new fish into that environment slower and in a certain, specific procedure. Well, I finally figured out that things wouldn't work out between my old fish and the new fish, so I eliminated the problem by flushing the big fish. I am really suprised that I did this because I am such a humanitarian. For example, whenever my other fish would die, I would get other people to remove them from the tank because I couldn't deal with the dead fish. I always felt as though they were looking at me. There is one instance where I did flush other live fish, but once again, it was for the good of the aquarium. I don't know, I think I have always had such a problem with death. It scares me, but it doesn't. For example, I used to work at a hospital in San Antonio, when I was a junior in high school. This is where I had my first real encounter with death. I never had to experience death in my family, in friends, or aquaintences. However, since then I have had to deal with it several times. I guess I take that back, I have had to deal with death one time before, but it was in eighth grade. I can't remember all the minute details of it, but it really brought me and one of my friends together. Anyhow, this hospital death experience really opened my eyes to the whole death scenario. And I know this sounds corney, but every single time I have had to deal with death since then, I have seen a little yellow butterfly. This spiritual experience has consistently happened to me on about 5 or 6 occasions. Well, my 20 minutes is up. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: n
I'm dizzy. This sucks and I feel worthless. How can she do that? I probably look stupid standing here at this window. Damnit! I can't get this song outta my head wish I could play it better fucking idiots. why can't I find someone like me there goes a goober. I wish these people would stop bothering me. Fuck. L. passing by without a glance open the door, damnnit look over here again. prim and proper. outta control. close your fucking mouth. what the hell was that. empty tables, is it open? there's nothing there. come over here and talk to me. not you. yeah you take take those over there. come back. Michaelangelo, where are you? lay down here and look up at the sky. down here dark and dingy, but only to me. that sucks. why is that there? all these robots. God. nothing at all. give it up. was that good? watch where you're going. Oh my god, I feel faint. don't want to be here. That guy must be sick of it too. Probably not. Look up. Down . What the fuck. Oh crap. I don't care anymore. Why do I do that. white shoes. black pen. what are they using that cart for? knee brace. wrinkled . old . grey. pompous and big breasted. fucking lier. I hate people, especially the dumbasses. all. quit looking at my. stay away. I'm hungry. No I'm not. Shit. games. I like to play, but not observe. woh. Tralala 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y