aimagic/big5essay huggingface dataset:
As I begin writing this I am a little annoyed because I'm doing it on my friends computer mine is broken. I wish I could just get my computer to work and be dependable. Also as I'm typing I'm thinking ahead as of what to say I guess I shouldn't do that or maybe that's just the way I think. The phone just started ringing but I'm not even going to answer it. I've been laying around all night watching a movie with a girl I used to like a lot. She's a beautiful girl and part of me still likes her but oh well. Things are different now and I don't really mind that. Also I've recently decided that I didn't want to be in a fraternity. I always thought I would, but really it just wasn't my thing. Right now I'm kind of kicking myself because I'm missing out on partying, but at the same time I hated the amount of time I spent doing stuff at the house. I felt like every one was here to party and study on the side. I wish I could do that but I can't, I need to do well in school. This weekend is Dave Matthews and I'm very excited. The concert is two nights and I'm going to both. Dave is my favorite musician and I've been looking forward to it for a long time. Also it is very hot in this room where I'm typing I wish that I could just some how make it like fifty degrees in here. I really like the cold weather and am looking forward to a break from the heat in the upcoming months. I think I like the cold because I'm hot natured, but also because I have good memories of winters. I love to reflect on the Christmas with my grandparents. As I glance down at my watch I see that my time is almost up so I guess I'll try to muster something great up. I don't know I'm a blank. I do however miss my family a little. I really miss my brother. It's odd because we always used to annoy each other but now I'd really get a kick out of seeing him. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
keep an open mind. "If you can't change your mind, how do you know you still have one?". Anonymous. I read this quote today morning and started thinking about it. Do I really have my own mind or am I controlled by thoughts and opinions that other people have? Maybe everything I do and believe in is based on what somebody else does. Obviously there are a lot of things that I believe in because my family/friends believe in them too. My faith in god may have been initially because of my parents faith in God and because of the stories that they told me about the god and his greatness. Why do I say his greatness. I think about that a lot of times. Why do we always say he?. why do all laws and sayings start with man is, he is. why don't we say. woman is ?I remember once my brother and me had this big fight about this and he being the MCP that he is says that women spend most of their time criticizing men. while on the other hand men do more constructive things. He says that most of the time it's the men who research and find laws and then later women complain about how the theorems or laws are sexually discriminating because they say he and not she, but I know that things are actually a lot different. I come from India and there a lot of women are oppressed. Female infanticide still takes place. I come from a girl's school and a lot of our topics for discussion in school were about these things. whether women should be allowed to join the armed forces. which brings me back to the same thing. why am I a feminist? is it because most people around me were like that or is it because I believe in equality myself. but what do I believe in. hopefully I will be more clear about this after my psychology classes. but will I change my mind about something that I believe in very firmly now, will I change my opinion about something if somebody shows me some evidence that proves my belief wrong. I don't think so, but then that means that I blindly believe in something for no apparent reasons. that's pretty ridiculous. but I know that the mind is very fragile and I think that it's the situations that actually control the mind. like do I make friends because I want to or is it because I have to. sometimes I wonder about the way I choose my friends. is there something common about all of them. maybe there is a certain characteristic that I look for. I also know that I am very judgmental. I will not approach somebody that is dressed in a certain way. so what does that say about me. I look around and see so many people who look so different from me. I feel pretty intimidated by them. since I'm new to this country and this lifestyle. sometimes I feel so stupid and ignorant. But I also think about how every new change that I make in life changes me and makes me somewhat a different person. so maybe I do change some of my opinions over time. I wouldn't know. does anybody know how the mind works I guess nobody does. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n
I am really quite flustered right now, because I already wrote this assignment earlier, and the philosophy systems were probably down, and now I cannot retrieve the file from where I saved it. Anyways, hardly makes a difference though. I can't help wondering about the purpose of this assignment. I mean, the teacher hardly even knows me, and probably cannot even relate to what I am thinking about. I guess this must be a way of doing research, and we'll eventually learn about it. I wish all assignments were just as simple. But its difficult to suddenly get used to this American system of education. This does get strange and intimidating sometimes, with large classrooms and lack of onetoone interaction. But it is nice, and I will definitely get used to it. Today is Monday, and a whole new week lies ahead. I quite dread Monday mornings. not because I have to go to class, but because I have a slight fear of the unknown. what if I have forgotten to do an assignment, what if I annoy a teacher! I am really hungry. I had a small lunch last night. Cafeterias were closed so I made some sandwiches at home. I wish I had a car. Then I could go out anywhere and eat at anytime. I could even go to Sixth Street. I want to buy a sports car. I will buy an Italian sports car once I earn my own million dollars! But that's a long way to go. I want to eat at Kinsolving dining hall today. I am quite tired with the food at Jester. But its pretty far from Jester, and I hate to walk. I guess I'll eat in Jester itself. I wonder what my friends back home must be doing, especially Tanaya. I hope they miss me as much as I miss them. I can't wait to go back to India, but I don't think I'll get to go before summer. I bump into them online almost everyday, so I do feel quite close. But personal meetings are totally different things. My room is such a mess. I will have to clean it up. will do it on Thursday. Thursdays are wonderful. I have only one class, so I do all other work on Thursdays. But this is not a good habit. I eventually end up putting off all my important work to Thursdays, and then run out of time on Thursdays even! I wish the weekend were longer. I need my own computer. I'll get one soon. I hope I get a good deal though. Then I wont have to go to the lab each time I have to do an assignment. My uncle is Dallas said he could get me one for a decent price. I will probably go meet him next week if it fits in my schedule. Great, my 20 minutes are almost up. This assignment was fun. I hope that all the others are as much fun to do. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: n
Well here we are, at last writing the writing assignment. Been putting it off for too many days now, got to take that class on procrastination from the learning center, might be useful. Only five seconds up, got 19 minutes+ more to go. wonder if hell read all this stuff. Hope not, or I'm definitely getting into one of his crazy guy experiments. Wonder if they have experiments to test if a guy is crazy or not. Who knows? I might even get paid for being a lunatic. God! Got so much to do in so little time, haven't touched my books, and already I have a quiz tomorrow. Hope I do well in it. Ahhh. two minutes up. maybe this thing wont last as long as I thought after all. Got to call up my friend to see if she'll have dinner with me. I hate eating alone. though most of the time I do eat alone. on second thoughts, I sort of don't mind eating alone at all. Its just that halfway through the meal when I see all the people talking to their friends and all that I find myself with no one to talk to. Oh well, who cares anyways. once I get settled here I'll definitely have someone to eat with everyday. so I better enjoy the solitude while it lasts. Hmmm. what do I wear for today's meeting. Hope she's there, man!, I got to shave too. One more thing I keep putting off. Only six minutes up, shit!, I better type a lil slower. Wanted to complete at least part of my assignment today but looks like its not going to happen, though I can still try to do it. have to come back from the meeting and do it. I miss my friends, used to have so much fun together. Three times a week to the computer course, that was fun. Miss those days, and miss those times. wonder if ill ever be able to be so happy again. Well, being sad about it doesn't help anyone, so forget it. Don't know where I got this sudden optimism from, but its doing wonders to my life. Not to mention making me more popular, and that had definitely helped my lonely little self to be more sociable. But more is still needed. Why I like to be alone I have no idea, but it just happens, and I don't mind it. My friends sense my depression my loneliness, but they don't know how to cure it, which as a matter of fact, neither do I. Yeah baby! We should definitely have more assignments like this. helps the workload by a lot, though if my finger keeps hurting like this I'm a goner. damn! That hurts! Maybe if I type a little slower. or not type at all. ouch! Got to give It some rest, but I cannot, because I have to do this assignment. If any person ever reads this thingy I apologize for my abbreviations, but I'm a regular chatter so I have to keep the words down. otherwise my finger gets the way it is rite now. Only a few more minutes left now and I'm free. Wonder how they grade people on this? Who gets an A and who doesn't?? Should I curse more to make it look real or should I just write what comes into my head. Well, what comes into my head would be better since this thingy is about. Who cares anyways, he wanted me to write what comes into my head, I did, so there. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y
It's only been a day since this is Monday and I already miss him. Got back from my trip last night and still had to call him I know that I'm not crazy but I wonder if it is bad to need someone in your life. What happens when they leave for some reason? I mean, school seems hard, and I need to think about studying and stuff, but all I want to do is talk to him and spend time with him. He told me once that he needed me. I think that was the best thing I ever heard him say or at least one of the best things he's ever said to me. I just know that this summer was even better than the last something I didn't think could happen. It sucks now though, even though I'm in a whole new place, and even though I should be excited about starting college, all I think about at night when I go to sleep is all the time we spent together this summer, and all the fun we had. Now, even though we are only an hour away from each other I still miss him. I worry about what will come of this semester. Will we stay strong? Or just fall apart because of the separation? We did okay last year and we were five hours away I thought that was hard, but ironically enough being closer to him is harder. That just means that on the weekends, I can tease myself with his presence and make the drive to San Antonio to see him, or vice versa. But I can't describe the way it feels to make the drive and feel the wind blasting through the car as my favorite songs ring through my ears, and then the excitement I feel as soon as I reach the point. The point that's what I call the restaurant that I pass on the way to San Antonio I believe it's a Marie Callenders  but anyways it means that within the next couple of minutes I will be with him. What does it mean to have a soul mate? I mean, I have heard explanations. but what do you do? How do you know that it's him? It's almost been twenty minutes, and I think I'll just keep typing, until I can leave the computer and study, finally. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
I am sad. I just started thinking about the dog I left behind in Katy, Texas. That isn't exactly why I am sad though. It seems weird to me that I am really missing my dog and hardly ever thinking about my mom and dad. It isn't that I don't love my mom or dad but something must have gone wrong considering this is my first time away from them and I am hardly talking to them at all. If my mom sends me an email is usually says something like: nothing new here, Mickey's now. Mickey is my dog. I really feel like my dog is more important to my mom then I am. At least she has always spent more time with him. I am getting teary eyed which is weird because I haven't cried in years and I don't think I have anything to cry about now. My roommate's mom calls him every single night. I have talked to her more then I have talked to my mom since I have been here. I haven't heard a word from my dad at all. Oddly enough I don't really miss my friends back home. We have been very close since sixth grade and I just left them. For some odd reason this really doesn't bother me. I can't stop thinking about how much your class stresses me out. It seems so easy. I know it won't be easy though, and that makes we question how much time I should be spending on it now. I almost had a panic attack when I saw that the website was down but it is now back up and that makes me feel okay. I am really hungry which is weird because I just ate a piece of ham, a piece of turkey, sweet potatoes, a piece of pecan pie, broccoli and cheese, and a Neapolitan ice cream sandwich. Isn't that nuts. Hopkins 24/7 is now on. That is an awesome show. It really hits hard without showing gruesome ER scenes (it is a documentary series). I lost my train of thought and I am now writing about nothing. Well, my twenty minutes are up. Bye. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
I am so glad I didn't go to work today, this gives me ample time to do this writing assignment Sleeping in is not always good but today it worked out perfectly I am so damn tired from working out yesterday I think my arms are going to fall to the floor today I wonder if that girl in the red sports bra knew I was checking her out I can't wait until this weekend I'm going out and someone is going to have to carry me in the dorm room I really miss my exgirlfriend back home I think I just need to find me a temporary just to have a little fun so I won't miss her so much Last night I got some really good sleep but not enough homework got done I really need to go to church this weekend I feel a sense of being lost when I don't I think it keeps me holy as well Mom is going to be real disappointed in me if I don't keep up the daily routine on Sundays I really wish God would have blessed me with the skill of being able to type faster so that I could jot down more thoughts in twenty minutes Damn it is 12:10 and I am so hungry Some Christians on Campus just stopped by and they have just made me put a ten minute gap in my thoughts because I had to sit and talk to them Maybe I'll got to one of their little functions sounds like a lot of fun to do Jester food has been real heavy on my stomach lately I hope it doesn't make me sick The other night I had a weird dream I dreamt that I pierced my own tongue I grabbed a long needle and stuck it through my tongue and stuck a barbell piercing through it It was so real that when I woke up I thought I really had my tongue pierced But I wasn't scared or worried that I had I was actually a little excited Which makes me wonder if maybe I should get my tongue pierced It's not really my style but I think the ladies might like it I am really mad that I haven't gotten a paycheck yet I am too broke to have any fun you just can't go to college without any money. The only thing that is keeping me afloat is the loan money I got for the semester. It's a lot of money but I want to save little What the hell am I supposed to do when I need to go to WalMart to get some Hotpockets or some bottled water The water here in Austin is so nasty. That is definitely one thing that I miss about home is the good well water we had I was so good Twenty minutes has to be coming up soon. oh look, hey there all done, (a rush of happiness) and now I am thinking all of these unholy thoughts that I don't have to type Goodbye  

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y
Wow. I have a lot of books. Ok, it's about 10:04. I tried to start this thing a while ago, around 8, but my girlfriend is over, and I'm helping her learn German. I've had a lot of German classes. Anyway, I'm going to marry her. Sometimes I'm afraid of the commitment, and the choice, but every time I'm with her, she makes me feel confident. When we go play tennis, study (as we are doing right now), or just about anything really. Hmm. Hsinju got the job at the NOC. I don't know if Bobby is just putting on a kind facade or what. SO many guys are like that. Maybe females, but I never really know. But guys are. They are great and pleasant until they're in the company of other men. Wasn't that a movie? In the Company of Men. Yes. Had a yellow and red cover to it, I think. Speaking of which, I need to watch those videos from Vulcan. What a great place. Cheap too. No quite as cheap as my dad's though. I wonder what RPM is going to be like when the evil giant faceless megacorporation finally gets its butt in gear. It seems like I've spent my entire life fighting against corporate america. Fuck Blockbuster, fuck Starbucks. But now that they have bought out RPM Records. well, I'm glad my dad can retire in ease with all that dough. But I feel like I've betrayed myself. How can I be so gleeful about it? Sure, RPM fought the system, and won. we never went out of business. Several times, the megacorporations had to buy us out, not boot us out. But it's kind of like becoming a traitor for some quick cash. Like Judas. That was one hell of a Judas Kiss. $250,000. Wow. Anyway, I really hope my semester pans out well. I'm really liking the idea of the English Teacher class I'm taking. THe teacher seems friendly. Reminds me a lot of Mrs. Hagar. And what luck, a german in there too! Woher aus Deutschland kommst du, mein neue Freund? I think it will be exciting to get to practice my german. THat reminds me, I need to go drop that GER 218 class I'm taking. I don't think I'll really like it. And I can get enough practice helping Stacey anyway. I wonder what I should add. So much is riding on these up coming semesters. Did I mention I love my baby? I'm going to propose to her sometime in October. On a hot air balloon, with a large banner on the ground that says, "Will You Marry Me?" I think it will be great. So romantic. Except for the balloon operator. Stacey has low self esteem though, at least when it comes to academia. She's so smart, but she just needs to practice. At whatever. SHe's goofy too. So much fun. I'm actually getting a bit tired. I've been writing for about ten minutes now. I think I want another drink. That crangrape juice was good. Hmm. Sleep would be good. Tennis would too. I think I'm too tired for tennis tonight. I may fall asleep during the movie. Studying and writing is tiring. I don't miss home. Garland, that is. Austin is great. So much better than that rotten place. Everyone there, my age at least, had one single goal: undermine everyone else. Ugh. It's been 20 minutes. Bye. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
. It's amazing how much my mood differs by my surroundings or situations. Currently I'm ecstatic because I just found out that my soccer team may be going to Clemson College and that is where my best friend, Kristen McKinney is going to school. I miss her SO much! When I think of her I never have any bitterness or resentment in my heart, but rather gratitude that God brought her into my life. With my constantly shifting moods and feelings, she was always a pillar of strength and stability, the most loyal friend I have ever had. I had so much trust in her, that many times I found myself dependent on her when I needed a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. I remember a time when I was at my other best friends house and we had a discouraging talk about how I felt her boyfriend was consuming her life. Immediately after I left I drove two blocks to Kristen's house and there she was ready to listen and pray with me. People say that the deep friendships are formed in college, but I know that the friendship Kristen and I have can't get much more intimate than ours. Through out high school we ran cross country and had classes together, therefore we knew every event happening in each other's lives. That's why it's so hard not having her here with me to share the experience of college with. Although I miss her dearly, self pity will not consume me because I am confident that God has prosperous plans for me at UT and Kristen at Clemson. Also this will each me to become completely dependent on Christ and His promises and not on fleeting things of this world. I really hope that I will not become hardened by the sin that is in me and surrounds me daily. Already I find myself not making time to be in the Word, which is the armor I need to remain strong against the enemy. I can relate with Paul who can't understand why he does the very things he despises. But glory be to God who makes me free of guilt through Jesus. Why He chose me, I have no idea. My mind can only take so much of seriousness, then it wanders back to funny Chris Farly lines or petty worries of the day. Already I am thinking of other assignments I need to complete after this and of how I need to get in touch with certain people. Yet we are suppose to live our lives a prayer to God, and I have such trouble letting Christ shine out of me when I am running errands, or standing in lines, or in class. Lord, please make me a bondservant to serve You daily on this campus or where ever I am and who ever I run into. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: n