aimagic/big5essay huggingface dataset:
They are playing OU as I write this and I am hoping that they loose. I keep telling myself to hope that they win but deep down I really want them to loose. When they win his main concern is football and when they loose he concentrates more on me. Is this some psychotic way of wanting to control him?  I know that if they win then he will seem more appealing to other girls. This makes me extremely jealous and insecure. Adrian is my first love. He is the first person I ever really cared about. I don't know if I am wasting my time in this long distant relationship though. There are so many more important things that I should be worrying about right now in my life. I am in my prime. I am terrified of getting hurt. I'm scared that I am going to put effort into this relationship only to get screwed over in the end or in a time when I really need him. I can almost see history repeating itself:  in high school I stood beside Adrian when he was a dork and always sat the bench in football then when he got good and things took a turn in my life to where I needed someone there for me we was too good. I still have a tremendous amount of anger towards Adrian for the things he did to hurt me. This relationship is not good for me right now in many ways but I'm am too scared of loosing the only person in the world that I would be willing to lay down my life for. I don't know if I am being insecure about our relationship because of things Adrian has done in the past or because I feel insecure about myself and in some way feel like I am not worthy of someone liking me. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y
I am completely computer illiterate and I never trust them. I have a lot of reading to catch up on and I am worried that I will not have enough time this week. A bunch of my friends and I are flying to Los Angeles on Friday morning for the UCLA vs. UT football game. We are only staying until Sunday evening but that takes away an entire weekend. I should probably bring some of my books with me on the airplane because I think it's about a four hour flight. I am also mad at myself because I took a really long nap today which wasted a lot of time. I think I really needed to catch up on my sleep though from this weekend. We stayed up really late after the game on Saturday and then I woke up early on Sunday to drive to Houston. I went in town to visit my family because I missed them and hadn't been home in a while. We went out to dinner on Sunday evening and then went to look at my Dad's new office. He just moved, it's a little bit smaller than his old one but he doesn't have a partner any more so he doesn't need as much space. Well, now I'm off to try to get on to the Pretesting page.   

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n
Is there a reason?  These questions have been filling my mind often lately. When I talk to my friends about it they say that they have the same problem. Is this a problem that every young man encounters?  It kin of scary because maybe I'll never find out. Also, can I ever be satisfied. Whenever I gain something I find my self always wanting more. I am incomplete. I have pushed many limits and yet have found no real answers. Some say a man with out a purpose will drive himself insane. Maybe , a man with all the answers has no purpose.  

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
However, I feel I could be falling into a trap that could severely effect my grades. My roommate is a friend from high school and unfortunately for me he likes to stay out very late. I have early classes and it is starting to take a toll on me. It doesn't seem as if there is enough time in a day. I am looking forward to playing club volleyball here and I really enjoy the coach. Volleyball is by far my favorite sport. I need to start asking some girls I have met out on dates. I am enrolled in a dancing class with one of my girlfriends and I am having a lot of fun with it. My parents are coming up to see me tomorrow and will be bringing my bicycle with them. It is funny, I love my parents very much but I really don't miss them. I don't have a desire to go home any time soon. My suitemates are having friends stay the night and I hope that they will not be too noisy. After the football game tonight I think I will do some homework and go to bed. I am looking forward to this psychology class. I find it very interesting so far. I need to be sure to keep up in my reading. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
The on e thing in my mind right now is obviously college. I didn't really have to study to get past high school, but I foresee a lot of changes in my schedule, just 20 min ago I did ALL my math homework for the first time in maybe a year. If studying was my chief concern than I would be perfectly satisfied. Unfortunately that is not my only concern. I am originally from Houston, so as much as I hate to admit it I miss my home, and even my parents. there are so many things about home that I miss, thing that I nerve thought would matter, things like going to the bathroom. Well I miss the past, and I am worried sick about the future. How will I do in my first test?  How will I register for spring classes?  Will I have enough hours to graduate with a BS degree in biology?  Will I get into Medical school? If I don't get into Medical school, then what will I do?    Obviously time is the only thing that will answer these questions. but you can not help but worry about them. Ever since I was little I wanted to be a doctor. Well not from the beginning, I have wanted to be a doctor ever since I was 11. That is when I had a brain surgery. After that I wanted to use the life that was saved by another as a tool to save other people. There have been a lot of changes that have occurred in me but one thing that has stayed consistent within me is my passion to help others. The one thing that made me feel occurred when I was 5. My grandfather and I were walking down a street when we ran into a beggar. my grandfather had just bought me my favorite kind of ice cream. When my grandfather took the ice cream from me and gave it to the beggar. at that time I hated I'm for it. . but when I went to sleep that night all I could see was the gleam in the eyes of that beggar. it was at that time that tears starting coming out of my eyes. I felt proud that I had participated in something so beautiful. Being a doctor to me is the best to repay god, and my family, and those doctors that saved my life.  The one thing that I am afraid of is the one thing most people are afraid of. failure. Fear of failure has always driven me forward, it is my opinion that fear of failure is the one thing that keeps this world going. everybody has a goal in their life and the fear of failure makes them work as hard as possible. hopefully one day I will walk out of a doctor as a doctor, who just helped saved someone life. . that would be a dream come true. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n
I'm in my boyfriends apartment and my friends and I are doing our laundry. I feel very tired since I have an 8:00am class. I've had a pretty good day though, I love UT. My classes seem okay and I'm sure I'll do fine. I don't feel at all homesick, which is good. My parents miss me so much though and I feel bad for that. I'm going home this weekend even though I don't want to, but that's okay. I don't think I'm doing this right. no one will probably ever read this so why should I care. I feel like such a number at this school, but I am determined to change that. I feel like I'm writing in my journal. Emily and Annie are over here too and they brought their homework. I wish I had brought mine. I am so afraid that I'm going to get behind in my classes and not make good grades. I want a gpa of 3. 5 or better. Maybe it was stupid to set a goal that high, but that's good for me because last year I could have done a lot better. I don't regret it though, I had a very nice senior year. This year I want to study very hard though and be able to say I tried my hardest. I also want to get a PhD in psychology. I don't know why though because I just want to be a housewife. I love the idea of people calling me Dr. Hutchins though, that would be so cool. Being a medical doctor is waht my heart desires, but I can't stand the sight of blood. that causes a problem. So, I figured I'd help people another way. If I do work I want to be a child psychologist. I have a passion for kids and want to help as many as I can. That's why I want to be a housewife, so I can be with my kids all day. I'm getting tired of typing now, it should have been 15 min, not 20. I wonder what other people are going to type about. My back is hurting from sitting like this so I'm going to stop. it's been 20 min anyway. I feel weird writing something for school and not using any kind of format, but I really enjoyed it because I hate English with a passion. I took two years of AP English and I didn't pass the AP test my junior year. didn't bother taking it my senior year. Alright goodbye :)  

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n
I just finished my last class for the day. I sit at he computer for almost two hours without knowing what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go. This is my first year here at UT. My mind is very messed up today. I don't know what I want to do. I would say that I'm kind of lost--confused, worried, and depressed. Usually, the first day of school always seems to be the best day of school for me throughout the years from junior high through high school. However, today, I'm finally in college and for some reason I don't feel any excitement at all like I used to. Perhaps it's because something that's bothering me inside. I don't feel like talking to anybody. I wanted to go to class yet when I arrived to one class, I just want to lay down on the little desk and rest. The day is almost gone by and I still don't know what my destinations are. There are so many things that await me. I don't know whether I should go to parlin to pick up my English portfolio, to go to the library to do my homework, to go to the bookstore to buy my books, or just go home, take a shower and jump right into bed. I don't even know what I'm writing now. I'm just simply typing in what I have in mind now. All these confusions that I have right now. Well, I'm thinking what am I going to do tomorrow. Should I wake up early or should I sleep for another few hours?  I mean I don't have to come to class until half an hour after noon tomorrow!  I hope I could gather my thoughts together soon so that I could determine what is that, that I really want to do. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n
Adjusting to the classes, increased freedom and increases in "having a good time" have all been fairly easy to get used to. Meeting new people has been exciting and the "name game of trying" to remember everyone I have met has been a challenge. This Labor Day weekend I saw the huge different between high school and college as I decided to take a road trip with three other friends to Galveston, a popular Labor Day hangout. I don't know if it was the college parties that made  the night we were there seem dull or just that several key things were missing that usually made the time memorable. Seeing my younger friends made me feel out of place, and talk of curfew violations almost made me laugh. One thing is for sure those times are over and  getting further away, but also new and improved times are ahead. This weekend has also showed me that I am a very patient person. My roommate Paul has shown this to me. Having my windshield broken, being almost evicted from our apartment and being irresponsible are just a few of my things my roommate has done this weekend. If I am still sane at the end of the year I think that I will be a stronger person, because of having to deal with Paul. I feel the classes are picking up as professors start talking about future exams. O, I almost forgot to mention my goals for this year (in no specific order)- get good grades (a 4. 0), not get fatter, stupider, not get into too much trouble and have a blast. Basically I hope to work hard and play hard. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
like a paper boat that's filled with water and slowly sinking. I'm not sure how to describe my thoughts at this particular moment. My thoughts seem to roam from one thing to another in a split second without me actually aborting all the information. I guess what to say is that my thoughts are unorganized like my backpack, all scattered around in bits. What pops up in my mind as a thought is how I'm going to go home after my classes are over for the day and check off the things that I remembered to do and those that I forgot to do. In my mind, all that I can see is my thoughts as a candy and it being surrounded by a mob of ants. My feelings at this moments are being jumpy and nervous at anything I see. I can't seem to calm myself. I also feel out of place and not all there, really unprepared. I guess to say is that I feel like I'm on a roller coaster ride and all alone on it. My sensations are at this moment very glad that the day is almost over and excited about hurrying home. My sensation at this moment also indicate anxiety for the next day and a sign of relief. That I can take a deep breath instead of gulping down small ones. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: n
He will be nineteen this Saturday. I think I am going to go crazy trying to get something for the boy who has everything. He just left my dorm room. and we just had a fight. he is going to his apartment to check if his dog made a mess on the carpet. I think he likes his dog more than me sometimes. I am listening to the soundtrack of the tape that I do yoga to because it soothes me. when I do yoga I am so calm. I actually feel very centered and like my whole body is in a perfect line when have finished the whole tape, its an hour long and it really is a workout. my mom got me started on yoga, she's totally addicted now. I am too, but I'm going into withdrawal because there is nowhere in the castilian where I could do it. I am going home to Dallas this weekend and I'll get to see my whole family!!  my mom will make some really good dinner for me because she thinks I'm starving here. I'm not but there's just nothing good to eat. everybody loves the food that their mom cooks them though. I went home last weekend too. the people down the hall are being so noisy . I want to change this CD, I think I just fell into a trance. I do think I was in a trance this morning in biology. my roommate was up until 6 this morning doing some paper and she kept waking me up. she takes a lot of my stuff without asking , and that's not cool. Oh well , she's cool otherwise. I've got other homework to start now so I don't keep her up tonight!!! 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
I don't know if I can handle all of this. Every semester I procrasnated with only 13 hours to worry about. And for the first time, in a long time, I am facing reality and taking my school work and my life seriously. The good thing is that I have a loving mother who understands me most of the times; I have a father that I do love and who does love me, but I don't watn to get in to it; and my pride and joy is my boyfriend who I love dearly, and Labor day is our first year anniversary. I have no clue what to get him. I mean we've always given each other what's in our heart (we don't like superficial stuff)--I've made many creative stuff like "two peas in a pod" with clay, paper mashad hearts for Christmas, cranes in a bottle,. and he too have made me stuff like putting our baby pictures to gether in a frame, written me poems, made a model Plymouth Plower (my favorite car last year), and he even went so far as to sew a heart for me. FOr a guy to sew is absolutely a amazing. It was so poorly put togther, some strings were loose, some parts were't even attached. etc, but it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I must have cried, partly because I was mad at him at the time because I felt that he was not thinking too much of me. Was I surprised. So here's a delinma. How can I show him what he means on our anniversary when all my ideas have been used?  Plus I only have exactly 6 days to do this?  I was originally going to draw the entire Disney fairy tale characters, but he doesn't like disney. I was thinking of writing him a poem, but I'm just so much better at prose. So far, my idea is to just to write him a book with old scripture. Hopefully, with everything that I have to do this week, I'll be able to write it.  

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n
Realizing that I am on my own left to create a future all by myself is a responsability which excites me. Everyday, I open my eyes and look around the room to see my roommate ( a perfect stranger only a few weeks ago) eating her daily breakfast and I have to hit myself just to make sure that my life is a reality. I have waited so long for college, for freedom for independence and now I posses all these things. And as excited as I am, I also ponder in thoughts of dissapointment. Not in myself or my actions but in all I have left behind. Yes I am talking about my family and friends and my own room and homemade meals, but I am also talking about my childhood and innocence. Ok, go with me for a little bit--- I know it's cheesy and a little extreme but it's true. I am on my own now, making all (well actually most) of my decisions on my own. I don't have my mom yelling at me to stop talking on the phone or to start doing my homework. My teachers aren't there to take role call or to ask you how life is treating you. All those thing that I took for granted but were a daily part of my life. Don't get me wrong, I love the freedom of college and the fact that I can talk for hours without my mom yelling at me or the fact that my teachers won't call  my mom if I happen to skip class. I really don't know where I'm going with this, all I can offer as an explanations is that just because a freshman loves their new found freedom does not always mean that they don't miss their old life. It's hard growing up and facing up to the challenges of responsibility. I am often tempted to call my parents and beg them to send me a homemade meal or to remind me to set my alarm clock so I don't oversleep. Yet, I should confess that so far, I am handeling the whole responsability thing quite well. One thing I  certainly enjoy is the fact that I can spend more time with my friends and I can go out on weekdays and I can eat unhealthy food as much as I want. Not to say that I indulge myself in such activities constantly. I guess the point of it all, is that I am confused. I am trying to find out who I am. And I think college can bring such valuable experinces as to help you understand yourself a little more. Throught the lonly moments, and the paries and the classes, through it all, I think that we are all supposed to learn a little about ourselves as well as others and the world surrounding us. Oh, and ofcourse, to get and education.  

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y
my duty is to get a date tonight for Friday when we have our mixer that is 70's based. I am looking forward to meeting some more girls than I already know. I believe that this stuff is fun whether or not it takes a whole lot of my time. although I have not had enough time to work out as much as I would like. I feel as though I am losing some muscle tone. the food at towers does not help with the dirth of a suitable protein source the food is extremely inedible I have a very hard time consuming enough food to keep my normal body weight up. at dinner I usually eat with either my pledge brothers or my roommates. my roommates are nice guys even if my suite mates are afraid of girls and this hampers our activities. I have a large amount of laundry to do but really do not feel like doing it. I have to acquire red wing boots by tomorrow or my team will lose the game. school is strange because I am never sure if I have done all my work or if I need to study some stuff more it is hard to judge how much you need to study when you have never taken a college test before. I reckon the tests will be fairly challenging although I think my high school prepared me well for these tests. I need to ask a date to the rice football game but I am not sure just who to ask. the football games are cool although my ticket at the first game had my on the highest row possible. I think Ricky Williams is good although he is not as good as jamal Williams of Tennessee. I think Texas will lose by a large margin to UCLA then they will get stomped by Kansas state. we will finally win at rice but then we will win at the other teams I think although the schedule is a mystery. I can't wait to go home to Memphis at thanksgiving to see all my friends. and my freaking car. I wish I could play more basketball and release my athletic energies. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n
she probably didn't but she can be so irresponsible sometimes. I guess that's because she's the baby of the house. Maybe one of these days she'll grow up. That reminds me I need to call a doctor and make an appointment for her. Today's Tuesday. That's good I only have one class today. Oh darn I almost forgot I still have to call the electric company to check the meter. I don't see how my electric bill was so much this month. That's an outrageous amount for a 750 sq. ft. place. There's got to be something wrong. At least I don't have to deal with those jerks that live below  me anymore. Next time they park their truck in my parking space I'm going to have them towed. I sick and tired of dealing with those childish idiots. I can't believe they actually sit on the balcony with binoculars and gock at the sorority house next door. They have no manners what so ever. Is  my time almost up?  I still have another six minutes to go. I wonder how Chris and Amy are doing I have talked to them since the Saturday before they were about not leave for UGA. I wonder what it would've been like if I went to UGA. I wonder if Marlow ever called Katie back. Even if he did she was probably sleeping. She was out of it last night. I hope she doesn't fall for that jerk, Lee again. Hey  what do you know my time's up. Well I guess I better get my other stuff done. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n