I have been extremely pissed off for the entire day. I have just started classes again at UT. I am trying to get into the pharmacy school. I work at a pharmacy now, but the people there are driving me insane. I have panic disorder, but lately instead of panicking I am just angry. I almost ran into about 5 cars driving on mo-pac. road rage?!  My therapist is trying to assure me that I am not the one who is crazy - it's just the people around me. My job, my parents, my friends". I am taking things out on John who does not deserve it - he is just here all the time. I wrote him a nasty email and I think he just replied. He is so sweet, I really should make a HUGE effort not to do that to him. he is probably used to it after 3 years. yuck. I would have been tired of my temper tantrums a long time ago. I tried acupuncture today for anxiety and my irritable bowel syndrome. The guy treating me at the student clinic was a moron. I usually get good people. he is graduating soon from that academy and I am scared of what he will do to his patients. I am going to take a xanax now and see how long it takes me to calm down. Cool, I can time it. ready, go. ok. I have to work all weekend when I need to be studying. my wrist hurts. maybe from typing, maybe from that moron. this should be pretty interesting for someone to read. I have lots of other homework that I could be doing, but this is all I have the brain power for right now. no offense, but it's not biochemistry. I am glad to be back in school. I hit the wrong key and it stopped for like 3 seconds. weird. I have to work with john the head pharmacist this weekend. they are all trying to manipulate me into working more hours than I want to. they have now told me that if I don't work all of these hours that they will find someone else to work there. it's all or nothing. I know they are bluffing, because it would take them so long to train someone that one of the other techs that works at the store would have to cover the weekends for months. no one wants to work weekends. so I should do it because I'm in school and that's easier for me because I am a student. that's their logic. that's crap. I think I'm almost done bitching. I am going to work tomorrow and if he doesn't make some compromise with me then I may just walk out and let him work by himself. that won't happen. he will say anything to keep me there. and I'll probably fall for it and think everything is ok and then he will just change his mind at the end of the weekend. so, I should just change jobs, or just change stores. Eckerd's sucks - they all have their heads up their butts. AAAAH! I guess I feel a little better now, but not much. I will just have to think about something else if I am going to feel better. my glasses are foggy. they always get scratched because I don't take care of them. I need an eye exam. haven't had one since grade school. who says grade school? I'm old. I have to be good this weekend. even though I am going to a birthday party that will probably be not quite as good as I need to be. whatever, that didn't make sense. I wonder when john will be home. at least I'm getting something done. I need to do a lot of things. I need to send transcripts to UT, start looking at pharm apps. and ask john if he is really going to move with me if I go out of state. I will probably get in for next fall but you never can tell. I applied way too late last year and got stuck on the stupid alternate list. ok, next/      

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y