College is awesome though, there is no doubt about that, but it is a little hard to handle well, but sick is an even bigger challenge. I never knew how fun college could actually be, it is crazy. There are so many new people to meet and make friends with, some are nice some not, but hey that is always how it goes. I grew up in Austin so finding my way around campus is really no big deal for me. It actually is really nice, because I know my way around the entire city, and plus my parents are here just in case I really need them. Plus the fact that it is easier for me to get money that it is for most people. Another bonus about having grown up in Austin is the fact that I don't have to change my doctor or anything like that, which came in very handy  this week, with me being sick and all. The one thing that bothers me the most about college is the pressure to fit in. I'm in a sorority and absolutely love it, but what I don't love is the fact that when we go to parties, every guy there tries to hand you a beer, and for someone who normally doesn't drink it can get kind of annoying. But even worse is the fact that I start to feel like there is something wrong with me because I am not drinking. Like I should be and because I'm not that I am just the weird girl. It is hard for me because I don't want to compromise my moral and religious beliefs, but I continue to find it harder and harder to say no when someone asks me if I want something to drink. It is a very weird and torn feeling, and when I do drink I feel really guilty about it. The one thing that I don't understand is why people think that they need to drink in order to have a good time. After all, most of the time they don't even remember to good time that they had. I myself know that I am having just as much fun as everyone else when I am sober. I am continuing to struggle with this subject daily. I am out of the comfort zone of my high school friends. Friends who believed the same things that I did and that didn't feel like they had to drink to have a good time. I  miss them so much, even though I am making new friends here, I still wish that I could see my old friends every day, because just by looking at the expression on my face they can tell when I need a hug because I'm having a bad day or that I just need someone to talk to. It takes a while to form deep relationships with people because no one wants to open up right away and let themselves be vulnerable, they are afraid that if they do it will come back to haunt them, I'm guilty of the same things. It is just going to take time to make really good, deep friendships here at college, but I think that I am on my way. I often wonder if other people are feeling the exact same way that I am. If they are nervous, timid and scared. I guess that is really stupid to ask because I know that they are. I find it so strange how life takes turns that you never would have expected. It is never predictable and never quite goes the way that you have planned it to go. When I first applied for college I swore that I was going to go out of state, but low and behold I changed my mind and here I am  at the University of Texas. God himself is just incredible, especially when he throws little things into your life, weather it is for the good or the bad you know that it is in his plan. If you ever really stop to think about what would have happened if you didn't meet one person, how many other of your friends would you have never met. I just don't understand how people can think that there is not a higher power looking over us, because from where is sit today, everything that has happened in my life, and the people that I have met, I know are more than mere coincidence, much much more.    

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n