I guess I have a life now, which is great for me. I always wanted one. Well, I did have a life before. I grew up in San Antonio and I have 4 brothers and sister and along with Nadia, are all my best friends. Of course, there are things that I will not tell my brothers like when I have sex or whatever, but I will tell them that I kissed a guy. I tell Nadia everything. She is one of the closest people in my life. It is hard to be in Austin and away from most of them. In San Antonio I never worried about meeting other people because I had everything I needed in Nadia and my family. Now that I am in Austin, it is hard to find friends. I am, though, and actually like the people I hang out with, even though I do not see them all of the time. I like going to live shows and now I have gone so much that I know people in bands and people that always go to see bands and it really is great. I do not really see them outside of this, but I am satisfied for now. There was this guy that I liked named Ben who is the lead singer for a band. He is good looking and really is not my type at all. I did need a change. I needed to like someone who would make me feel ok and have fun and he was the perfect person to meet. I went to Europe this summer. It was an experience and I went by myself which was great for me. I used to sometimes get lonely and hated to do things alone, but not anymore. I finally have proved to myself that I can take care of myself and that it is ok to be alone. Also, I learned that being alone and lonely are two separate things. I go to live shows by myself because I am pretty sure that I will see someone I know there. Would I still go if I knew that I would not know anyone? I do not know. I have not been put into that situation. Anyway, so when I came back to Austin I discovered that Ben had a girlfriend and at first I did not want to like her. But, I started talking to her and she is really nice and now I could not be happier for Ben. I figure that if something is supposed to happen then it will happen and if it is not, then there is no need worrying about it. I think that Ben and I had a little window of opportunity to get together before I left the country and it never happened and we missed our chance. I think fate can only do so much and that she gives us the opportunities and if we take it then great and if we do not then it was not meant to be. These windows of opportunities may come again, but they may not. There is no reason to wait for them to come because there are no certainties in life. I am happy that Ben has such a great girlfriend. That is all I can do and just stay friends with him. Ben does have this cute friend named Kevin who is also in a band. He is not the greatest band member, but BOY! Is he a looker. The first time I met kevin I had drank a lot and he was totally hitting on me. I did not take his advances because a)Nadia would not have wanted me to since I did not really know that guy b) nadia was coming home with me, and c) at the time I liked Ben and wanted Ben and not him. I saw him later on (after Europe) and let me tell you, I kicked myself for not at least kissing him. He is SO GOOD LOOKING! Every girl that sees him on stage all say the same thing whether they have a boyfriend or not. About 1 week ago, we went to this party and he was going to give me a ride home so we got dropped off at his house and just made out. Man, I wanted that guy. We did not have sex, though, I cannot figure out why. I do not really know him and thought that since he was so good looking that he would be a little slut. I mean, I am sure that he was nice, but I was also sure that he was pretty experienced. So, when he was taking me home he talked to me and seemed pretty nice and I was shocked. It was a good shock, though. I saw him later on and I wanted to finished what we started and he took a rain check because it was late and he had to work extremely early the next day. One of his good friends told me great things about him and now I am interested. I do not want to start thinking that something serious is going to happen, but I cannot dismiss that it MAY. I just want to get to know him better and see if now is our window of opportunity. If it is not, then maybe I could get a good friend out of it. Either way, it is a win win situation. as long as he does not ignore me in the future. I do not think he is like that, but I guess I always think the best of people. We will see. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y