I don't know a lot of people in every one of my classes and that makes me nervous and anxious. I guess I also am feeling very excited too. I am away from home, from parents and rules, and away from people I know. I like familiarity. That is like a comforting thought to me. I can't stand the fact that this school is so huge that I don't even know where my next class is. All I want to do is curl up in my dorm bed and stay there. Even though I don't like my bed at all because it isn't like mine at home, it will do. I am excited about the weekend that is coming up. I get to go home and see my family, my boyfriend, and my friends. I wake up every day from the day I got here to look forward to this weekend. I don't know why, but I guess I am lonesome. In addition, I didn't make the Longhorn Band, which was very upsetting to me. I am very upset that I didn't make it because I knew I could have. It's just that in the back of my mind, I knew that if I make Longhorn Band, I wouldn't be able to go home to visit as much I want to. So, I really didn't give the audition my best shot because, as much as I wanted to make it, I didn't want to just as much. No matter which way I looked at that, I guess I feel good that I didn't make it and I regret it because I wanted to make it also. That was a conflicting feeling that was bothering me too. Another thing that scares me is that I made the decision to take Chemistry even though I did rather poorly in high school. But something in me just wanted to take it and prove to myself that I wasn't dumb in Chemistry. I just am stubborn when it comes to giving up. I can't stand it when I can't finish something or I am not good at something that I could be. Maybe that's why I am so confused about the Band thing. No matter what, I want to kick myself for not making it, but on the other hand, I am jumping for joy because I know I won't be as stressed out and have time to do stuff. I was in Band all through high school and I guess I decided to continue in college because it was a familiar thing for me. Plus, I had such a bad experience with band directors that I was rather wary of the ones here. But I made such great friends in Band that I am afraid that I won't have any while I am here not in Band. Another thing that worries me is that everyone tells me that I will change and stuff and they say things like, "Oh, you're probably going to 6th Street and party all the time. "  Even as a joke, I found that very insulting. How do they know that I will change?  Yes, it's true that I may change, but I have rigid moral standards that were inhibited in me from the day I was born so I don't think the changes will be that drastic or horrifying. Whenever anyone says that, I get really annoyed and frustrated. Another major thing I worry is whether I will ever get used to the fact that I am no longer living at home with the "comfort zone" that I was accustomed to. I mean, I am afraid to go home and find out that people over there changed a lot too. It's troublesome to me. Like Chemistry. I also worry about the fact that NONE of the clocks run together and classes end at varying times. I am so scared to walk into a class late, making the professor mad or annoyed. That's another fear of mine that I can see happening and I worry very much about it. That is why I tend to run out of classes, even though I have plenty of time. I am the typical goody-goody that never disobeyed the parents and had many people that had high standards for. So I hope I don't let them down while I am here. No matter what, I can't help that I am who I am for others. I am the oldest of three kids and my parents always told me to set a good example for my younger siblings. If I screw up, they will too, as I was told. You have no idea what kind of pressure that is to me. I hope that I don't let anyone down, especially myself, whoever that is. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: n