Last night around 11pm or so a friend of mine from high school came knocking at my door. She told me that a guy I went to high school with had just committed suicide on Friday. Apparently he had a fight with his parents about his drug abuse (which I had no idea was even an issue with him) and he stormed out of the house. No one knew where he was so they went looking for him. They found his body by a creek in a neighborhood near mine (some of my friends still live there, too). It still hasn't hit me yet. I have been at school with him since the first grade. I know that at the funeral, it will definitely hit me. After last year I thought everything was going to be better. At the beginning of the school year (actually the summer before my senior year) Kyle committed suicide by hanging himself. After getting over that, Will was killed in a car accident. After coping with Will's death, I thought nothing else was going to happen. I mean, two deaths (not to mention the death of teacher) happened within the span of about three or so months. The rest of my year was going great until April. That was when I found out that one of the girls who I had been best friends with in elementary and junior high had committed suicide. She overdosed on her medication and died in her sleep. I couldn't believe it. For years I would talk to her and hang with her and played sports with her all through middle school. Going to her funeral was the hardest thing that I have EVER had to do. I cried the minute I got there and didn't stop crying until days later. Seeing her parents made it even harder. I mean what can you say to them. Nothing you could ever come up with could make them feel any better. Nothing could make you feel any better either. She had an open casket, so as we walked out after the service was over, we had to pass by her. I absolutely and completely fell apart. I couldn't see where I was going I was crying so hard. Even now as I am writing this assignment I'm getting tearyeyed. I still don't understand (and I probably never will) why anyone could take their life like that. I mean, don't they know how many people need them, how many people depend on them, or how many people just love them for who they are and how they make us feel when we're around them. Marshall is the second one to kill themselves from my elementary/junior high school. Everyone always talks about how things like that come in three's. Now I'm just wondering if the saying will come true. Will there be a third suicide or death that I'll have to deal with? I really and truly hope so. I sure as hell can't take another death or another funeral for that matter. When I first started this assignment I didn't think that I'd have much to say, but that doesn't look like the case. This is kind of therapeutic though. I'm tired of talking and thinking about a gloomy subject like death, so I've decided to start typing about something better. I really excited to be here at the university. I really love it here. My classes and professors are great. I am worried/anxious about final exams though, but I still have awhile before those come around. I'm still getting used to the fact that you pretty much get one grade at the end of the semester. Unlike in elementary through high school in which every 3 weeks you got a progress report and then every 6 weeks came your report card. I'm also getting used to being alone a lot. Sometimes you have to eat by yourself, or sit in class by yourself, etc. But then again you meet so many new people. Well, my time's up. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y