aimagic/big5essay huggingface dataset:
Thoughts are constantly bombarding me since I moved here. It is a whole new world now. Time is a precious commodity that I need to manage more efficiently. I see so many different people here and I have met quite a few people these past weeks. My future is on the line now, but I am so young. So many things are tempting me away from my goals. I must get organized as soon as possible. Girls are everywhere and there are so many cool ones. I never can remember all those names. My fraternity has a bunch of really good guys in it I can not wait until pledgeship is over. Life is at it's best and worst right now. I have never been this emotionally unstable. My mind is like a roller coaster. I guess I have not adjusted to everything yet. Once I do maybe I will be alright. I do not really have a grip on all of my classes. Once again I need to get organized. Now that no one is telling me to do anything I need to work on my self motivation. I find myself thinking a lot about things that went on in high school but I do not miss it much at all. I do miss football. It kept me in shape therefore making me feel good about myself. I think about girls too much of the time. It drives me crazy sometimes. I love Austin. It is such a great city. I love the university's atmosphere. It feels good to be free. I need to stop procrastinating, it kills me. School work constantly haunts me until I finally do it. I am not really depressed or anything. Overall I am doing well. I hope I get TexasOU tickets. I would hate to miss this years game. Last game was pretty fun. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y
As I sit in my dorm room at this point in my life, I can think of one thing only, sadness. Sadness because I miss my family and my boyfriend and because I feel extremely lonely at this huge school. I am overwhelmed with my thoughts and concerns. I am scared about meeting new people, scared about making good grades, and in general I'm scared about starting all over again. I know that I should be so excited that I get this opportunity to begin my life again and start new adventures, but I'm not. Last summer, for the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged and I was extremely happy. Of course as soon as I obtained that wonderful feeling, it is ripped away from me at an instant. I feel like I am so stressed out here because I have so much to do at all hours of the day. I'm a very high strung person and need to relax a lot and I'm not really given that opportunity here. Joining a sorority was something I thought I had to do when I got here. So I did and I'm not sure it was the right decision for me. I think snobbery overwhelms my sorority and that bothers me a great deal. I really don't know exactly what my problem is but I just don't feel comfortable here. I am in love for the first time and the guy I love is in Fort Worth. We are not dating because we both agree it would be too hard but I love him so much that words could not possibly describe. It hurts to be in love and know that I will probably never be with him because of our location. I want to transfer but I I would be terrified to do that just for a guy. But when I think about it, I would do that for him. My thoughts are in a jumble right now and I feel many emotions running through my body. I'm not quite sure what I am going to do at this point in my life. My confusion, anger, and stress take over my life and it will take some time to figure out who I am and what I want with my life. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n
What I feel is that I have disappointed myself so far this semester. I planned on being so much more organized than I actually am. I look around my room and my desk and get really annoyed at myself. I think I am missing something in terms of college academic life. I feel that I should be stressed and overwhelmed because those have been my feelings for the past couple of years. In high school, I was always trying to outdo myself and get more involved. By the time my senior year came around, I was so involved in clubs and classes that I was burnt out before 1st semester was even over. Every class I took was based on the recommended courses for UT. Every club I joined was so I could put several different activities on my application. Now that I am in college, I wonder if I am serious about my major, Theatre and Dance. Don't get me wrong, I love performing, and in an ideal world, I would become a regular on Broadway. But I always secondguess my goals and the reality of them actually coming true. I have performed literally since I could walk and talk. I haven't appeared on any major stages or on television, but performing has always been a really significant part of my life. It has shaped me into the person I am now. I just keep thinking. "is this really feasible or not. " It is one of the few things that I am good at and have been successful in. I suppose I went into the College of Fine Arts because fine arts are so familiar and comfortable for me. I actually thought of becoming a clinical psychologist or a social worker for the latter part of my high school life; I even took a semester of psychology last year. But I came to this conclusion: I have too many problems of my own that I can barely deal with, so how on earth could I solve anyone else's problems? The answer: I could not. I don't know. I guess I will get more into the routine as the weeks roll by. Hopefully, I will be successful at UT. Time can only tell. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n
Today I am leaving for my grandfather's funeral. I am so sad that he had to pass on. I know that he is in a better place now and can no longer feel pain, but I wish he was still here. Even if he could only stay for a few minutes. I just want to tell him how important he is to me and how much I love him. I would tell him how strong he is and how everyone looked up to and admired him. I wish that I could tell him how jealous I am of him, because his life was so interesting and fulfilled. But, most of all, I would tell him how much I love him. I am not really sad that my grandfather has passed away, I am sad because there is so much left unsaid. I just hope that he already knows everything that I wish I would have told him, before it was too late. I find it so odd that every time someone you know or love passes on, you sit and ponder all of the things that you wish you would've told them and vow to never make that mistake again. But time passes so quickly that you never get the chance to tell everyone that means anything to you that the are important, that they are somebody to you. I guess that my twenty minutes is up. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
Right now I fell very discouraged about all this college business. Everything is going wrong. My computer keeps screwing up and I don't know how the hell to fix it. I want to go home where I know where things are. I wouldn't have a computer problem if I were home. I have barely any friends here and nothing ever to do but to watch TV even though there is never anything good on. I miss my girlfriend, I wish I was home. I'm sick, my throat hurts, I feel trapped, I have too much crap to know what to do with and there's no room for it. I hate college right now. I don't see why people like it or why they keep going. I think I made a mistake by coming here, nothing is going right. I can't even eat when I want, I have to wait until a certain time or walk 2 miles. I'm tired and need to study but really don't want to. Why am I the one who is always getting screwed over? I want to throw my brand new 2700 dollar computer out the window because it's a piece of crap. I'm not even sure I should be at college. I'm incredibly stupid, I don't see how I got accepted here. I have the worst memory in the world which should help me out a whole lot here. I'm hungry but oops, there's nowhere to get food. I feel like crying all day for so many reasons. I wish I could be happy like everyone else. I'm tired and am going to bed. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n
Well, all that is on my mind sure cannot be summed up in twenty minutes, but I will continually type for that time. Lately I have desired to do nothing but become closer to God. He is awesome. My freshman year of high school was great all because I had God on my side. Now I feel like I have lost him. I know He is still there for me, but I have damaged that relationship that we had. I chose to live my life and not listen to Him. It hurts because life was stressfree and I always knew that God was just right there waiting for me everywhere I went. When I would walk outside I would smile and greet God with open arms. Now I feel like sometimes I look negatively upon the weather and don't even think of the great God who made everything. I have been trying to become closer to God. I read in the Bible more often. Rather than praying for myself or for God to do great works in my life, I now ask God what I can do to better the lives of others. I think that my outlook on life will change once I fully begin to ask Him what He wants of me rather than demanding Him to help me. I think once my relationship with Him improves, my money worries will go away. One worry is about transferring out of the school of business. I could transfer out of the business school, but I am afraid of what my future holds. I know with a business degree at UT jobs will be flying at me from every direction. Instead of being a cutthroat businesswoman, I want to help society. If I would get paid a good amount, I would definitely help the homeless or disabled. That attitude is wrong. God does not want me to think like that. He wants me to trust that He will provide all my financial necessities. He wants me to pray to Him to find out what I need to do in life. He will give me meaning once I am fully ready to accept His answer. I continually pray to God asking Him what I am to do with my life. He has not told me. I do not think it is that He has not told me; I think He has told me to wait for the right time for him to tell me. I know He will let me know when He feels I am ready to accept the task He has prepared for me. Right now I long to know what that task is. As I read the Bible daily and pray to Him daily, I feel I am taking one step closer to receiving a better understanding of my life and knowing what I am destined to do. I cannot wait until God shows me the way to my career, my husband, my kids, my destiny, but I always have to remember what my mom says. God and her both agree: patience is a virtue and in order to obtain these goals, I need to be patient. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
There are some very strange things on TV. I don't watch TV all that often, but when I do it gets stranger and stranger. I love to eat. I eat constantly. Sometimes I wonder what it really is driving me to eat all of the time. Crunch and Munch is the snack of choice for me at the moment. Buttery toffee popcorn with peanuts, it is funny to think why it is so good. But it is intriguing. Why do people change? I often wonder why she did it to me, what did I do to deserve it? I thought she was my friend, but I guess I was wrong. Without trust, friendship means nothing. I often think of this as I look at my relationships with other people, do I really trust them? I wonder why I sit and harass myself with the torture of scrutinizing every aspect of my life. Why do I? I know there is nothing wrong with me, yet I still sit here and ask myself what I could do differently. I need to accept that people do change, including myself. I believe I am addicted to Instant Messaging. It is a remarkable invention. To be able to "talk" instantaneously with my friends all over the country is just unbelievable. I can carrying on a conversation with as many people as I can handle at one time, but usually I just stick to two or three or it becomes too much to handle. I don't even know if this is making any sense, but I don't really care. The thing with instant messaging is that I have an obsession with wondering who is on or who is getting off, I have to check every time I hear the sound of the door opening and closing, even if I have no intention of actually talking to anyone. Why do I play mind games all of the time? I really do. I sit here and plot ways to make him want me or make him think I am mad or happy or whatever. I seriously need to quit eating this crap. It may taste good, but I know it can't be good for me. This is ridiculous, I really do need to stop eating. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y
Well currently I am stressed out. It is as if I have so much to do and not enough time to do it. I get real frustrated and tired yet, things must be done. My academics take up a significant amount of time and then there's my extracurricular activities. I am so used to being involved to the point that I came to college and repeated the same cycle. My grades reflect this. I just want to get at least a 3. 6 and go to a decent medical school. My sorority's members are some of the most elite black women on campus, in the community and in the world. All of my friends want to become members. I am so nice to them which is not the proper protocol for interested people. My line sisters reiterate to me daily that I must learn how to be stern and forceful to them instead of befriending them. At our interests meetings we turn mean. How can I hug them on the behind closed doors and intimidate them at meetings. I don't want them to consider me a hypocrite and I want to maintain that level of friendship. They look to me for knowledge and direction instead of evilness and cruelty. My first mind is saying forget what people are saying those are your friends. My second mind is saying that they don't respect you and they feel as though the have nothing to prove because we are already friends. They'll learn when what's up y'all turns into, salutations and how are you. I have so much on my mind that I believe my mind is going to overload and explode. Must do homework, must practice, must get involved, must go to work are just a few of my daily struggles with my time  

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
I am so stressed out right now I don't even know what to do. If it's not one thing it's another. Everything seems to be coming at me all at once and there is no escape. I'm trapped. I have so much inside that I want to let out, and sometimes I don't know what to do with myself. There are just too many pressures. Sometimes I wish I could ignore all the pressures and just have fun and everything would still be okay. But it wouldn't be. Sadly, I'm stuck with all of these barriers that keep me from being who I really want to be. I wish I could just be Mary all of the time. But, it's impossible. I'm always too worried about everything, but I think you're better off worrying than just not caring at all. I always seem to look at many things in a different perspective than most people. I also find it hard to express those perspectives. Most people just don't care, but I seem to fret over everything. Maybe I'm obsessive, I don't know! But to top it off, I'm pretty happy where I am today. I guess all the fretting over tests and exams in the past got me where I am today. I can't believe how some people really are. Some people I know are on so much alcohol or drugs, that that's all they think about, and forget about life and forget about their dreams. They let their life pass them by, and before they know it they'll be a big nobody in the world. I don't want to waste my lifetime like that. While I'm still young I want to take so much advantage of the opportunities that I have. I would love to contribute to the world and be the best person I can possibly be. I don't care what anyone says or thinks about me. I know the truth, and no one can judge me accept God. I want to be able to smile at the world and the world to just smile back. But the world is not that nice. It is such a mean, ugly world that sometimes I wish I didn't live in it. But the world can also be a magnificent thing to experience. There's just so much you can do, but it feels like so little time. Sometimes I'm scared that there won't be enough time to do whatever it is that I want to do. A friend once told me to do at least one thing a day that scares you. I like that advice. There's so much inside of me that I want to explode! And I wonder if this feeling will disappear with age. Well, I certainly hope not. I want to be 85 and feel like I'm still 15. A lot of times I wish I were 3 or 4 again with no worries or responsibilities. I believe being around that age was the best time of my life. I had no real care in the world. I was too confused to. I had no idea I actually existed in the outside worldI just was. Well, I could go on forever but I got things to do. I kind of like this assignment. It's neat. Well, I don't want to bore you or anything, and I think my 20 minutes is up! So, it was nice chatting with you Dr. P! 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
Well after Labor Day weekend I had come to the conclusion that I disliked the college life. Everything had gone so wrong that weekend. The book store sent me home with the wrong book, I didn't have my "IF" account so I couldn't check my email, and I bought a twenty dollar calling card that is supposed to be better than the one I had been buying and it was a rip off. The tendollar card had more minutes on it than than the twentydollar card, and to top that off the darn thing only had sixteen dollars on it. So my weekend was just a bunch of carp. I am not exactly home sick, but I do miss my baby brother and my fianc�. I went home this past weekend, missed the first football game here, and saw the two people I missed most. It was so cool to be home everybody was so happy to see me, it was great. I am planning on joining a sorority here to keep me busy so I won't get home sick. I haven't really met anyone here yet. The girls on my floor aren't very friendly. When I first got here I was bored out of my mind, but now things are looking better. I am not real in to Sixth Street, but the first week I was here some friends that live here took me there. I got my tattoo on Sixth Street when we were here for orientation. I keep saying we, my best friend and I that is. My best friend is my roommate and she is trying to get me to enjoy it here and not miss home too much. I have to say I do like the fact that my parents can't tell me what to do, and when to be home and all the other things that parents tell their kids to do. I was ready to get away and be on my own. My fianc� is at home going to school there. Hopefully he will come up here next year. We are supposed to get married this summer, but I guess we will have to see what happens. It is so weird to see everyone outside smoking in the middle of the night, and to see people going out at three in the morning. At home we have a curfew, and they are real strict about it too. Other than all that stuff, I am adjusting pretty well to the college life and am learning to love it. Things can only get better, right. I know I made it sound like I just hate it here, but I don't. The weekend at home was enough to hold me off for awhile. That one bad weekend made me think that it was always going to be like that. Next time I will be writing about how much I love it here, and I won' t have anything to complain about. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n
Ok, I am starting writing for 20 min. My thought, are what I am writing about. Right now I am still thinking about visiting my friends at Baylor this weekend, not sure If I want to do that. I have stuff to do, got to get a new id, and eat, and some other stuff, mainly thinking about what I have to do. Most of my friends are going home for the weekend is why I am thinking about visiting Baylor. I have to be back at 5 Sunday to try out for ransom notes, so that is a factor, Also Stephanie wanted me to visit EV free Sunday morning with her, so if I do that I will want to leave Saturday afternoon, so I am not sure, I still need to read chapters in psy, chapters 3,4 in CS, chapter 2 in psy, I need to do that today, maybe after I go run, I think I will go to Baylor tonight and come back tomorrow afternoon. And get stuff done, I need to work on that song, that reminds me I need to go get those Birkenstocks as well, anyway I want to see Blake and Lauren and the game but I don't know if I will have much time, maybe I can leave in the morning tomorrow, and skip the game, come home and do some stuff, that will give me time to go and get the shorts and sandals I have been meaning to get, then I can still go out on sat night, maybe with Jacqueline or Susan, most everyone went back to see Dave, I wish I was seeing Dave, but they sold out the first weekend they were on sale and I was not in town to get them. Oh well, I can get more stuff done now,. need to sunin my hair and go running,. remember to get exenphrime, exandrine or whatever ant GNC on Tuesday, I may go run then work out a while today I want to figure out what I am doing tonight first though. Blake said something about a dance tonight, but he is dateless. So I am not sure, hmmm, what to do what to do, I need to work out defiantly this weekend. Hmmm, I wish I could see everyone, but all my friends go to diff colleges, Ashley keeps asking me to come visit her, which I should do but I am lazy, hah, I have no time for anything anymore, I squeeze in homework and studying, I need to do something about that, I would like to see Ashley though, I kind of miss her, it is a lot harder than I thought it would be to meet girls here, they are either intimidating or not worth the trouble, I guess I have just had bad luck but every single good looking girl I have started conversations with has a boyfriend, but none of them have really been good looking enough to make it worth my time to try and become better friends with them if they are in a relationship, Anne was pretty cool, but now things are weird between us, I need to get will and ryan to take me to some fiji parties, those will probably be better. I guess I will skip workout today and just go up at about 2:30 hmm, writing this didn't seem like the chore I thought would be. I just have weekend plans on my mind so I can't think of much else. Psy is fun, I need to be a little less tired Monday so I can enjoy it, I will work on that. Over and out. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y