For the past two weeks, I've been down here in Austin, TX, home of the largest university in the nation, and while I thought that I would have the time of my life, I cannot seem to move past the feeling that I am completely alone in a world of 50,000 students. I had wanted to come to this university for five years, but now that I'm here, im constantly thinking of ways to either get out or somehow to get used to it. The fact is, I left my friends. Although this is something that everyone going to college is faced with, the friends I left were the only ones that I had kept for more than 4 years since my family moved around often. And this time, leaving them was actually my decision!  I continually tell myself to just give it time and I will find my place. However, as I struggle being in a new city by myself, it seems that everyone that I talk to is having the time of their lives:  the time that I wanted and expected to have upon arrival in Austin. Wanting to transfer closer to where my friends are occuppies much of my thoughts each and every day. I just can't move past it. It's as if the world is moving on without me. I feel as if I'm lost, and I don't know how to find myself again. Either I stay here and attempt to find the dream I had expected, or I find a way out of the city. Everyone seems so happy. Why can't I be like them?  I miss everything about my home, but most of all I miss how familiar everything was. I knew what was going to happen every day, and here, I don't know what to do with  myself!  Anyway, I really wish my roommate would come home every now and then!  I hardly see her. I miss my boyfriend so much!  I sound like such a typical teenage girl in saying that, but it's true. I miss my life before college. I hadn't realized how happy and lucky I truly was to have such amazing friends and family close by all the time. Perhaps I just need to get out there and truly find someone to talk to, but it feels like I've tried that already. I wish so much that I could just meet someone and right away have a friend! It's ridiculous to think that way, but honestly, the world would be a much friendlier place!  Okay, so now it seems like I'm just rambling on. I should go running sometime soon, but it's extremely hot outside!!  I cannot wait for this weekend because I have a ride home. See, I continually come back to this topic. I desperately hope that I maintain the same relationship with my friends. I feel so stressed out lately. I don't know what to expect yet from college, and calculus is absolutely killing me!  If I don't get an extremely high GPA, I might HAVE to transfer universities in order to get accepted into business. Why couldn't my life have just stood still during my senior year of high school?  I loved it, only I didn't know that I had the life I always wanted until I was forced to leave it and start over. I sound as if my life is falling apart, and it's not. Sometimes I just feel too overwhelmed with making new friends and meeting new people, keeping in touch with everyone and wishing they were here with me, and then there's the little fact that I'm supposed to decide what to do with the rest of my life at some point soon!  Business is just so general, so I thought it would be a great starting point. Who knows?  Definitely not me. I'm so confused right now. People are outside running right now. I should get out there and attempt to keep in shape. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: n