Right now, I'm a little worried. I just stopped talking to my friend Nick on the phone and he was talking about claiming credit and what not. I hope I'm not forgetting to do something or else I'll be in trouble. That's the last thing I need right now is trouble. My dad would kill me if I did something stupid (e. g. forgetting to do something I needed to do) and was disenrolled from any of my classes, especially ones in my major. I looked over some information I had, and I really don't think that there will be a problem, but I wish Nick wouldn't have mentioned anything about it. I'd much rather be surprised than to know something was coming and have nothing to do about it. It would be like a giant meteor coming to destroy the world. I would make rather just die in a giant flash of light than have to worry for weeks knowing that there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening. In Deep Impact the president broadcasted to the world that there was an asteroid coming on a collision course with Earth, I would hate that. Sure they are going to try to stop it, but I don't have that much faith in the US Government to fix poverty let alone stop an asteroid from killing us all. Dig a giant hole in the ground. sure, that'll work. But anyway, I hope nothing bad happens to me. This whole college thing is a new experience for me, I'm not used to taking responsibility for everything like I have to now. I'm alone up here, except for my sister not that she can do anything. If I screw up it's my fault and I have to live with my mistake. And even if I do mess up, what would happen? I'd get dropped from a few classes and I'd have to wait another semester before doing the classes that I want to get done now. It might be good in a way, I'd have an incredibly easy semester and later I would have more electives in which I could take anything I want rather than having to take Chemistry or Psychology. All I can really do is hope, I guess. Other than the ocassional worrisome things, college is pretty nice. Carothers is an awesome dorm, much better than what I expected from a dorm. I think that I might like living here next year if I don't move off campus. I'd prefer living here actually. I never was very social before in High School, but it's nice here, it's different. Most people here aren't complete idiots. Honors dorm and all. Also people are maturing I think. There aren't as many clique-ish people here. People are more accepting of other people's views and lifestyles. It might just be that we're all in a daze from being thrown into the college and are just looking for something to hold on to, but it could be maturing. I hope it's maturing. Before in High School nobody would talk to me. I think I scared them. But here it's different. Here people don't seem to care. I think I have to give the whole "God you're so HOT lets be boyfriend girlfriend" thing a few more years, but I can live with just friends, for now. That's always bothered me though. How people, no matter how smart or mature they are, are obsessed with looks. Personally, I don't want my girlfriend/fiance/wife to be gorgeous by society's definition. I feel that every woman in one way or another is beautiful, as cheesy as that may sound. I've met people that I'd like to get to know better, and they aren't model types. I've seen those types too and they don't impress me much at all. But I think the real thing that's keeping me from getting to know any of the people I'd like to know better is my shyness. I'm not used to being social, so being thrown into a dorm with so many other social people is a strange change for me. It takes some getting used to. I need to adapt I guess, become more comfortable with my surroundings and my place in the surroundings. My friend Casey became engaged too. That scares me. He's 18 I think, maybe 19, probably 18. Right now, I'm only 17 but I can not see myself getting engaged to be married in a year. 18 years, when the average lifespan of a person is over 70. That's 50 years, a long time to stay married. And if I do get married I never want to get a divorce. I'd rather spend another year making sure she's the one than finding out a year into our marriage when my wife might be with child or something else. Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but I think that's the way it should be. But I can't tell Casey that. it's his life, I've seen him and Melissa together and they are a good couple, but people change you know. Maybe it's just my fear of the unknown or maybe it's true, but marriage ties you down, it keeps you from changing, it's binding. I'd hate to see Casey or Melissa's life ruined by this. Or at least I hope they don't get married until much later, and just stay engaged. Maybe I care too much and maybe it's none of my business, but this is just my stream of consciousness and it doesn't matter beyond my own mind. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y