Well. I just finished my first week of college. I can't believe I'm already here, but I wish I was already out. There seems like so much to do but I'm starting to get things under control. I think. My friend Helen is at A&M and shes going to jump for the track team. She is an emblem of success. everytime I think of her, it reminds me of just how bad of a person I am. I guess everyone makes mistakes, but my mistakes seem to be a lot worse when I make them, because I know better. Hopefully  I can keep up with all my reading assignments. reading is definitely not my thing. especially when I'm forced to do it. Tomorrow's reading time will be flled with the SI class, but that's okay I think I'm going to need as much help as I can get. Tonite's church. thank the Lord. Sometimes you just got to get filled up when everything seems so dry. I love church, but sometimes I feel so . . I don't know. not as good as everyone else. like nobody makes mistakes but me. I know that's not true. only I lie from the devil trying to get me down. anyways today in psychology class someone mentioned obessive cumplusive disorders. and I wanted to scream out. I've been caught in that trap beofre. Which I have and thank the Lord I no longer am bound by that chain. only by the grace of God did I get through some of the worst, tearful, confusing years of my life. Oh. El Patio sounds real good right now. not only because of the delicious food, but because I have to right a paper on it and I need to get some intricate details to make my paper a success! I can't wait to be home tonite. I've been up at school since before 7 am. only to realize that my 8 am class had been canceled. my next class was not until 12 noon. Oh well at least I got some studying in and I was able to finish my english homework so that I wouldn't have any tonite. Praise the Lord. Anyways back tonite. my boyfriend is suppose to call me about ten. man I hope he gets his own phone soon. I miss him. I wish could just get married right now. but my father might have other plans for that situation. . but I don't understand sometimes. why do you always have to wait 'til your outa school before you get married. . of course I understand the logical part of it all, but what about love. although love is suppose to be patient. I don't like preaching to myself all the time. it's like I know what's right but I wish things could be different. I don't know. right now my biggest concern is my dad letting me drive down to San Antonio and pick up Stephen (my boyfriend) on friday afteroon. oh Lord please help me to find favor with him on this situation. Wow. twenty minutes is a lot longer than I thought it was going to be. It's like writing in my journal on the computer. what Dr. Pennebaker said today about when your depressed, to write what your feeling down. I totally agree. I know no matter what I'm feeling it always helps to write in my journal and shed a few tears of course! I like journals soo much that lately, I've been giving them to my friends for their birthdays. my time is clicking down. I really hope I can find a job soon and hopefully my friend Lauren found one today. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: n