The light above my computer is shining so brightly onto the screen. The bright light, almost blinding as I try not to look straight into it. My mind works rapidly as I am trying to focus on my thoughts. Whenever I actually try to think of something my head seems to go blank and I can think of nothing. I guess I don't really think of nothing because the brain is working all the time. There is always some sort of idea or made up story in my head. When I am alone, such as when I walk to class I always daydream about fictional stories or ideal occurrences that I would want to happen in my life. Then I worry that since I thought of it, it would never actually happen like that. I do not believe we can predict the future. Unless dreams are a prediction. Usually my dreams predict nothing and just are a picture in my head of the things I have been thinking about most often. Sometimes they are ridiculous and make absolutely no sense but that could be our imaginations working. I don't seem to get very much sleep. I wonder if that is bad because I am not resting enough and do not have as many chances to dream. I think dreaming is healthy and so much fun when you have a good, inspirational one. Our minds our so interesting. Why do they work the way they do? Will this question ever be answered? Why are people the way they are? It is so interesting to analyze people and their actions but many times I cannot comprehend why they think and act the way they do. Such as when they focus on all the unimportant aspects of life that really have no meaning. It is so special when I can actually find a person that I have a good conversation with. I left all my friends like that and am searching for those people here in Austin. They have to be somewhere, considering there are thousands of people here. Those conversations that leave you feeling in the best mood with a huge smile on your face are the best ones. When you've realized you've shared something amazing with that person or when you were just able to really understand what each other were thinking. Those are the people that leave an impact in my life. Those are the people that moved far away from me and are only reachable by a long distance phone call. These amazing friends are irreplaceable and I am only hoping to find people that come close the type of people I have known. This was something I was kind of worried about when I came here. Would I be drawn into the bubble of people's lives that move in a cycle with no positive direction at all as to who they are going be? Will I be strong enough to keep my attitude, hopes, and feelings about the person I am or want to be? I have found direction, the getting there is the problem. I am actually listening to the song Patience right now and I think it has a good message. This song makes me sad every time I listen to it. It is tied to such strong memories and now especially because I have left many of the people I love. It is hard when I think about this person. I miss them so and my body aches when I think about not seeing them for such a long time. This is maybe one of the hardest parts about college: the fact of moving on and leading a new life with out the people you have loved for so many years. Maybe, but my time is up now, and the rest of my thoughts will only exist in my mind. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y