Why do I have this pimple? Why does it matter what people look like so much? I am sure that if we were all turned in inside out, and what was inside of us was on the outside, well first of all, we would look pretty damn disgusting, but if who we were was on the outside of our body, the world would be better. I am sure that there wouldn't be as many people wanting to show off their "body", because their new "body" would be who they were, and not everyone is happy with who they were. I went to my first college frat party last night, and it was one of the worst nights of my life. My best friend and I had this inclination to go there and do nothing but talk to people. He has a girlfriend, and I just didn't want to meet a girl there for other than friends purposes. It was HORRIBLE. It was crowded as heck, the music was too loud, so that in order for anyone to even understand you, you had to use a megaphone, and to be socially "accepted" you had to have a beer in  your hand. Now, one might think that would be an excuse, but I didn't see, but 15 out of at least 200+++++ without a beer. For some reason, I want to spell beer, bear, but don't let me please. Thanks. :o) Well, it was so dumb. My best friend and I walked around the whole time just walking, because in this one room, the music was so damn loud you had to use a megaphone to talk to people, and I'm not all about that. I am not the stud who has all the looks, but can't talk to people worth a damn. It doesn't matter though, if you are that stud, because the girl is too busy dreaming about your looks that she doesn't give a poop what you are saying. I am more a people person. I like to make people laugh. I don't do it on purpose, like go out of my way to make people laugh, but it's the way I am. I have this quirkiness (thanks Sooze) about me, but I love it. I don't want to be that stud that can't talk, because I am pretty happy with myself, until last night, when I had this feeling going into this party that girls in general had changed. My whole life, I have been nice, and I go by the saying "Nice guys finish last". I had this feeling that it might all change in college, but the answer is "nope". I was at my friends house, and her roommates were all telling me that it had changed, and that girls now were looking for long lasting relationships, and they didn't want all that highschool bullshit that they had gone through before. Okay, I know this sounds superficial, but these weren't bad looking girls either. Two were pretty darn cute, and the third wasn't too bad at all, so it isn't that the (excuse me god for saying this) more ugly girls were saying this, but they were girls that you would classify as pretty hot and tempting. I hate using the word ugly, and I hate judging people. I don't. I always hear my friends going up, and saying "Aaron, how in the hell does that guy have that beautiful girl, when he is so damn ugly". Okay, first of all, I am thinking that they are jealous, but evenso. Why? Why does it matter what he looks like? Why can't he be a  nice guy, who finally beat the system, and found himself a gorgeous girl that appreciates who he is. How he treats her. What he does for the world. What is up with this world? I NEVER say that shit, because there is no reason for it. I hate saying "oh, he is ugly" and just making fun of people in general, because if you look at me, I am not the best looking guy on campus, and I have no right in heck to say that. I HATE HATE when my friends say it. But, it's the world. College was supposed to be different. The time for me (the outgoing quirky boy) to make some friends, and go out and have fun. It hasn't quite been that, and granted, I have only been here for a couple of days, but I am scared. I am scared that it is going to be like this for the rest of the year. I mean, I go out and meet people, but I don't know when or how to ask for their number, because it's just too weird in my eyes. We say when we leave "See  you around", but have you realized the size of this campus. It's freakin' amazing. There are 50,000 students here, and it is atrocious as to how big this school is. It was supposed to be different. I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't have 12 eyes, and I have all my teeth, but it is still the same as in high school. I get befriended by the girls, which honestly is fine with me, because well, maybe it isn't. Maybe it would be nice to be gawked over for once, and maybe it would be nice to be wanted by a few girls here and there, but as of yet, it hasn't really happened. It's not that I am looking at all, because I am in love with Sooze, but it would be nice to have that feeling that when I walk into a room, people stare. I promise you this. if who we were was what we looked like on the outside, I would get those stares. Thank you for your time. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: n