aimagic/big5essay huggingface dataset:
It's cold in here. I need to sleep. I'm missing my best friend. One more class until the day is over. Some time to myself. My head hurts. I need to study. My long distance phone bill will drive my mom nuts. I miss my boyfriend. He's so far away. One more month until I see him again. I need to make a phone call. Should I listen to what they say. I'm all alone. Finally. I'm sore. When will this week end? I had a conversation. Did he think I was dense? Should I tell Jacob? He shouldn't be jealous. What have I left behind? What lies ahead? There's something in my eye. I hate wearing contact lenses. When will my brother call? I smell like Listerine. I spilled it on the floor of my dorm. I wonder if my roomate noticed. Is she there right now? Did anyone call? Should I call home? I haven't called my mother. Is Joshua here? What about Joanna? What about Lilia? Are they here? Will I see them? I'm still cold. I want to go to bed. I should eat something right now. Nevermind, maybe later. What should I do tommorow? The day's almost over. One more class to go. Journalism should be fun. Hope I don't fall asleep. Why did her alarm go off so early this morning? Why didn't she let me sleep? I'm quiet when she's asleep. I don't throw my stuff around. Why did she make so much noise? Why couldn't I sleep last night? What woke me up? Why was I so scared? Will I be able to sleep tonight? I wonder what she thinks of me? Is she annoyed that I'm always on the phone? Does it bother her that I'm so quiet. I'm studying whenever she gets in. Does she think that's all I do? Is that good or bad? Will we get along? Has she said anything to her friends about me? Do I bother her when she's studying? Does she think she bothers me? It is so cold in here. I can't feel my fingers anymore. What are we going to talk about in journalism? I hope it doesn't rain tonight. I can't sleep when it rains. I wonder if it rained at home. Has anyone tried to call me? Has anyone e-mailed me? Did I take good notes in class? Why am I so tired? I wonder what Jacob is doing right now. Maybe I should call him. I have to go upstairs and get my book. I'm used to being alone. Talking to him gives me a reason to smile. He brightens my day. I hope they win on Friday. I need to get a job. I don't have any money. My phone bill is already too much. I've just been here a week. Every night I spend two hours on the phone. I wonder how much it is going to be. My legs hurt. I need to run some more. Maybe three miles tommorow. There's still something in my eye. It hurts a lot. The computers won't print in here. I'll probably be back later. I'll bring a sweater next time. I wonder how the band is doing back home. Are they outside practicing right now? Why hasn't Laura answered my e-mail? Is she too busy? I can't believe I gave that guy my phone number? What was his name again? He was really funny. I needed to talk to someone. Should I tell Jacob? He'll get mad. I know he will. He'll get mad and just not tell me. Its really cold in here. I want to go upstairs. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n
The one thing that amazes me the most is the  complexity of the female mind. At one point, you think you know exactly what they want, but as soon as you can comfortably assume that, it all gets twisted around and kicks you in the ass. Also, when you are on the flip side of goodbye, you really start to understand the importance of relationships. If you are always on the winning team, you don't know what it would be like to lose. The more you win, the more you will think yourself invincible until you are brought down, and then you feel the most devastating emotion you have ever felt. The only difference is that with relationships, you never think about losing, especially if youre on a winning streak. True, some people will never have to experience being on the heartbreaking side of goodbye, but if you keep playing the game, eventually you will lose. No matter how much success you have after your loss, even if it is a bigger victory, you will always remember the loss you experienced and try to figure it out. I've found myself racking my brain to try and figure out something that I will ever be able to understand. The saying that time will heal all wounds is a load of crap. Time only allows wounds to fester and become infected. I think that relationships are more like getting drunk more than anything else. The more you drink it in, the better it feels. You know that the feeling won't last forever, but you keep doing it anyway, always hoping. Then it ends, and all hell breaks loose in your head. Reality hits you because you have nothing to swing back at it. The only way to lessen the pain is to start working on the next round. The old pain is still there, but youve managed to cover it up with something that will eventually add to the old pain. It may seem that i'm depressed, but in reality i just try to figure things out, and if i cant, i find similarities between two things that i can't understand. Somehow it feels like i've found a solution that way. That or it seems less pathetic.     It's odd that when youre young, you always think that you'll be different from the stereotypes when you get older. When I was little, i always used to wonder why musicians would include foul language and sexual references in their records. My parents didn't like the subjects of many of the songs that I listened to, so I always told myself that if I ever became a musician, I would never include those kind of things in my songs. However, now it is apparent to me (through personal experience) that these things are boosters in the audience's attention span. However, I wonder if standards have changed, especially since the dawn of Eminem. I also think that people overreact to his music. He is simply writing about what he knows and how he feels, which is what i really respect in a musician. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y
I can't believe that I waited until the very last minute to do this. I've never beem so crazy stressed out of my mind ever in my life. I just couldn't find 20 minutes in the last seven days where I could just sit down when I wasn't totally fried. I hope that this dose not bode poorly for this semester. I think I can oull it out. This Festival I can't believe that Cinematexas is almost here in two weeks my life will be totally different. . Having only had eight days off this entire year is just insane. . I think I'm holding up but I feel that I coming apart now. I think that's what I scared about. This year I've really pushed myself tothe limit in terms of what I can do going jback to school crazy extra curricular stuph I've learned so much. Mostly about what kind of person that I am. What am I capable of. Which is some great stuff. But I'm not there yet I 'm almost there though. It's weird in my film classes when people look to me and vthink that I'm a T. A. or look to me for help. It's strange I guess people see good things in me. I like that annd I do the same thing. . I gues I'm just used to people being more aloof I hope that I'm not that way. some of the people that I have met at this festival have given me that instant companionship. That instant love and that's so great. . I guess when people are looking to me for answers  wheither it's about their cameras of their relationships I guess that means I'm becoming the type of person that I want to be. . That's a great reward in itself. I smoked again two nights ago. I have to stop after quitting for two years I can't fall of the wagon and go back to that. . It was only a few cigs (one fantastic Nat Sherman MCD the very best) I can't let this girl. well she's not doing it really. I can't let the tantrum I'm throwing:) over this girl mess up what took a long time ito acheive I feel like a hypocrite when I smoke now. I don't know I just get lonely filled with self pity overwhelemed and I just want a catharsis. . smoking is sort of one. . I don't know I need ito stop again I don't think I 'll go back to the way it was but it's still scarey. I really think thigs are'nt as bad when I have a second to actually relax and evalute things I feel very good. . like the night before class tabling at the show I realized how many people I have met in the last year how many close friends that I'm making and have made and how important that I've become in certain peoples life and how much I'm going to be doing in the near future. It's all going to be worthwile I think I just feel impaitent it just seems like I've been waiting for ten years to get the chance to do what I want to do. what's going to be the best for me. and every BS class I have to take or everytime some jerk in Communications office is rude to me and everytime I'm treated crappy at work it's just one Bergman-esque humiliation after another. sometimes I hope that my   artistic spirit   doesn't die the death of a million pinpricks. . I really like this kind of writing it's been pretty theraputic, but I have to go    

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
Today is a very stressful day, I just studied for the first time and it makes me so mad because i am a perfectionist and when I don't understand something perfectly I get really frusterated. My boyfriend from back home has not called today because we broke up last night and it was for the stupidist reason. Why can't he just let me do what I want? I'm kind of homesick lately. People know all their friends from high school and I'm just alone from Wisconsin, besides Shane who is not being very nice lately. Well actually it's me not being very nice. It's really weird because my friends and I all have birthdays this week. Mine's on September 11th and it's not going to be a very fun birthday. It never really is. Two years ago my party got crashed by Richard and then last year it was 9-11. Hopefully it'll be really cool though with everybody remebering 9-11. I think it will. The fact that I have so many classes that day kind of sucks though. Oh well I think I've officially decided that I'm changing my birthday to september 12th. My friends and I are all going to Hardrock cafe that night to eat and then we might go to sixth street and party afterward. I called my mom today just to chat and of course she makes me mad and says basically that her and my dad thought I was going to drop out of school. They wanted to make sure that I had been studying. they don't realize that I am on my own now and that I can deal with my own problems myself. Janelle and I just found this new diet. You eat a lot of fruit in the morning and veggies and then at night you can feast and eat whatever you want. You have to eat in a certain order though at night. kind of weird and who knows if it will work but it better because I'm not going to gain the freshman fifteen. Thats going to be hard because the cafeteria food is so damn good and you can keep on going up for more servings. I palyed on a soccer team today. Our dorm got a coed team together and we all went to practice together. It was a good workout because it was so hot out. It was alot of fun, I scored three goals and I broke Darius' toe. OOPs! I feel kind of bad. I hate the fact that the last 2 weeks all I've been doing is having fun and not dealing with school. Now I realized that there's going to be alot of school wrk involved. I also want to prove my mom wrong and get a really good GPA. I set goqals for myself today because I was reading a book at   Barnes and Noble and I said that I was going to do good in school and study at least an hour a night. Hopefully I can do that. I think I will be able to. I can't believe that Shane hasn't called yet. I either thought he'd call at 10am or not at all. Oh well there's more out there. I am having a lot of fun here though, so I don't really care if we break up.   

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n
I just got out of rugby practice. this is the first practice we have had with the veteran players. my body hurts and for some reason I can't sleep so i decided to do this. im too excited to do anything, but think about the next practice. it reminds me of playing soccer in highschool. we should have won state my sophomore year. we had the most talented team i had ever seen at that level. two of the players from that year actually play in the mls. I love rugby. I was never a very imposing guy until about my junior year of highschool and by that time it was too late to play football. so i kept playing soccer. but i've always wanted to just level the other team, and now I can do that. I missed biology this morning because is et my alarm for 7:30 pm instead of 7:30 am. I hate when i do things like that. I miss summer school at UT. It was so much more fun than the fall. Everyone hung out together, and we could all get in to any party no matter if we were rushing or not. Now I'm lucky if I see one of the people from summer just once a week. Fall was suppose to be better. A girl that was my best friend in highschool, and I am absolutely in love with is here now. we have been here about two and a half weeks and we have only spent time together once. All she cares about is her sorority. And when we did hang out all she did was talk about how she was   tired of dealing with it.   Why doesn't she quit?  What is her obsession with being a part of something?  I just wish that we were growing closer like we thought we would in college. Instead we are moving further and further apart. Every guy she meets ends up asking her out on a date. She always some how avoids it, and I don't know why. Suddenly, a guy with plans for a very successful career seems much more attarctive than just a regular guy that wants to have fun and hang out. I can't believe i just wrote that because I am one of those guys with plans for a successful career. Maybe thats not what she is looking for at all. She lives seven floors below me but instead of coming up to say hi, she just calls. We talk two or three times a day, and when we see eachother we always give eachother subtle compliments. She is the one person who can always make me laugh no matter what kind of mood I'm in. I guess thats what being best friends for five years will do to you. I never knew I thought about her as much as I do. I think I'll go and see 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: y
There is to much traffic in austin. I am ready to see my girlfriend this weekend. I am glad it is almost the weekend. The buses outside are to loud it is annoying. I guess it is really annoying when someone srives by with loud music in the middle of the night or rotc marches by. I'm thirsty I think I will get so water. I like this deja blue container it works good to refill. On yea that nice and cold. I guess I need to study my spanish when I am done with this. I wonder how my parents are doing, I guess I should call them pretty soon. Five min. and twenty seconds this is going by pretty fast. Tomorrow is friday horray. I am not really sure if that is how horray is spelled. It probaly isn't in the dictionary. There are always car alarms going off if someones car acutually gets robbed no one will know whose it is. That would suck. I like my bob marley poster it is interesting. I guess I should go work out a little today before work. I'll bet work is really boring tonight unless there are a lot of people at the fields. who know. That water tastes good. This psychology is kind of interesting but I still don't know what I am going to major in. It really does bug me I wish I could figure it out. Oh well mabye it will just hit me one day mabye I should just have fun. I need a different soap I don't really like this dail. I wish I wouldn't of bought a big ass bottle of it. It will take forever for me to use it. I wonder whats on tv. It would be kind of hard to watch will I am typing. I want hook up my speakers to my computer, I need to find that damn chord. I need to find someone with a printer for biology homework. What am I going to do when I am done with this I don't know if I really want to study. I guess I have to since I have to work tonight. Wow it is eighty degrees in here. I wonder how acurrate that galelio theremometer is. It seems like it would be pretty acurrate. galelio was a smart guy so why not. looks hot outside im glad I don't have to go out there till later. although it still won't be all that cool.   

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: n
I miss my family. They mean a great deal to me and and love them very much. Without my best friend, Sam, here with me, I wouldn't be here writing this thing. I have never been away from home for more than 10 days and it is something that I know will take some time to get used too. This weekend I will get to see my family and one of my other best friends, Ben, and his family. Sam and I are going to meat them at Lake LBJ Friday afternoon. Wakeboarding, my family and friends, it will be great, I can't wait until Friday. Ut is a lot harder than the junior college I used to go to, its on whole other level and thats why I'm here.  Its time for me to go to the next level and do what I do best, create. I have met a lot of really good people over the last 2 weeks, my friend Sam introduced me to RUF, its a Bible study for college kids, its good me and I like it. Sam also introduced me to Ultimate frisbee, its totally sweet, I'm thinking of playing intermurals, last year the RUF team won the damn thing. I feel more alone right now than I ever have in my life and I think I'm taking it pretty good. I talk to my family everyday and that helps, but when I walk in my door there isn't anybody there who loves me or who asks me how my day was it hurts. Its something that only time can heal. I'm at the age when its time to   leave the nest   so to speak and I've been ready, then questioned myself, then proved my readiness again. My desire to create and express myself grows everyday, as soon as I gain ascess to a darkroom my work will be some of the best I have ever produced to this date. I have never had these intence feallings and I think they will show in my prints. I also have the desire to write a song, my friend Garret, that I met through RUF, and is also one of Sams roomates, writes songs and plays the guitar. I know I can't sing and I know I can't play so writting seems to be a good choice for musical expression. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
This is a bad ass song. i wish Patrick were here so we could drink some beer and hang out. it is too bad he is in a gay ass fraternity. i can't stand his freaking brothers. at least Robbie isn't in a gay fraternity, we chill more than me and Pat ever will. i wish i weren't so fucking sick, i hate the fact that i have to blow my nose every 10 to 15 minutes. and no my freaking printer is going nuts, i hope it isn't broken, it is brand new. it looked like the actual scanner piece is jammed or something. that girl i met today in Economics was pretty cute, i think she was feeling me. i wish i hadn't broke that string on my guitar i miss her badly. i haven't played in almost 2 days. i don't know if i can go another day with out playing it. i am so glad tommorow is Friday, i need a beer. i just wish i didn't feel so bad, all i want to do is sleep. i sure hope this works tonight i didn't work lastnight. i want to be a rock star!  that would the best job ever!  just playing my guitar and singing my songs!  i want to have a good time tommorow night just chill with some friends a drink some beer!  i need a beer, i am defenately going to grab a cold one when this is over. so close. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
I feel as if my life revolves around a world full of unanswerable questions. I cannot seem to find what it is that I want out of life. There are so many options and turns where I can easily decide to follow, but I am so inconsistent of what I truly feel passionate about. I wake up in the morning and step outside of my dormitory daily smelling the fresh air. Everyday it seems as if there is something I have not witnessed before. I need answers to my life. I am a person that does not go through the day easily without understanding why things are the way they are. I am a first year student at the University of Texas and I have been bombarded with hundreds of organizations and choices that will lead me somewhere in the next few years. Not only academically has this burden faced me straight on, but I am confused about a girl I have met as well. As with the hundreds of organizations, there are hundreds of girls I see in and out of my classes. Do I really want a relationship so soon? And further, can I handle a girl that is apart of the Greek system knowing that I will never have a desire in joining one in the future? It is so hard to choose a path when you analyze your choices to death. For instance, if I decide to discontinue dating this wonderful girl just because I will not be able to tolerate her constant consumption of alcohol and nightly partying with other fraternity guys, will this decision have been the most appropriate one? Or is it possible I may be a bit too judgemental of her capabilities of being a loyal girlfriend? In addition to my social life, I have to maintain some arbitrary schedule which will be beneficial for my personal needs. Like many others, I have been set loose from the world I used to know and I am on a path where I control my line of travel. It is realistic yet frightening at the same time. All my life, choices have been easy. And if I was faced with an extenuating circumstance then I always had the parental feedback to support my decision. I am creating a life. It is not just any life; it is mine. I am on my own. I have waited for this moment for a long time. And now, I do not know what to do with it. Is this normal? Have I overlooked something? Is it humanely possible to beg and plead for an entity such as freedom and once it has been acquired to not desire its power as much? I am eager for the future and ecstatic for what is yet to come. I hope I am joining the right organizations that appeal to me. I also hope I will stay academically strong as I was in high school. And further, I hope I will have made the right choice with the girl I met. I have faith that I will be led in the right direction. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n