I hope I'm doing this right because I'm not sure. I feel so tired and I have so many things to do in such short time. I wonder if I'll pass all my classes. I'm afraid that I won't make A's and not make it into Medical school. I can imagine how my dad's sisters will laugh at him and tell him that they knew I wasn't going to make it. I feel lost, depressed, and anxious. Who should I talk to, well mayb nobody because what if people think I'm crazy or stupid or something. Everyone else seems relaxed and having a great time. I can't even walk out of my room because I either have homework or some quiz to study. I can't believe I froze today on my quiz and miss two simple questions. What's wrong with me? I used to take pressure fine now I feel like some crazy person. I miss Peter, my boyfriend. He understands me. The good thing is that he's coming down and if my dad brings my truck up here, I can go and pick him up at the airport. I want to bring him back to UT and show him around. It's going to be nice to walk with him down the Drag and just showing him the campus. I can't wait to see him. I hope everything goes well since tomorrow is Friday the thirteenth. I don't want anything to happen to him while he's flying over here. If anything happens to him, I'll feel terrible because I'm the only reason he's coming down. I hope I can have a good weekend with him. I want to spend as much time as possible with him. But with my parents, God, I can imagine them. They take things so seriously. I wish they weren't so strict and understand that me and Peter are serious about each other. I guess that's why I'm so shy. I could never go out or do anything. Now I can't keep a conversation with anyone because I think that they don't like me but oh, well I don't need them. I have such a headache. It's just all these thoughts I have in my head. I wonder who's going to read this. They're going to think I'm some kind of psycho, however you spell that. Life is so crazy for me. I can never relax or kick back. I hope to God that in the end this will pay off. I wish I was already in med school but hey it all takes time. Now I understand what Dr. Sladek said. That man is so brillant. I hope to be just like him. He does surgeries like nothing. And to think that he didn't make it to med school here in the US and had to go to Mexico. If he didn't make it with straight a's here at UT, what makes me think that I will. What did I get myself into? But this is my dream and I'm afraid to disappoint my family. I've always told them I was going to be a Doctor and if I don't they're going to ask me why, some will laugh at me, others will disapprove of me like Mr. Matthews, others will rub it in my face. How embarrassing? Agh! I even got voted most successful in high school. I can imagine everyone talking about me and how I thought I was so smart. If only they knew I had to work really hard for my grades. I was just like them. I want my mom to be proud of me and I want her to know that when she's old I'll take good care of her. I don't want to see her working hard anymore. Well this felt a little better taking everything out but now I feel like crying. Maybe that will help as well.    

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: n