Sometimes I wonder what everything is worth in the big scheme of things. Growing up, making friends, going to school, learning amazing things, falling in love, and well, I guess living in general. What is our purpose here. to consume as much food as possible on a daily basis, to desire nothing but to be rich, spoiled, to care not for our neighbors, but for what kinds of cars we drive. I wonder if that was His plan when this all started or if we've really messed up. In a sense, we've grown as far from following in his steps as possible and it's really scary to me. As a follower of the times, my faith in Him has also declined as the years have gone on. Well, on to another aspect of worthiness. friendships. Although necessary for life, and powerful while they last, why do all friendships seem to come to an end. Whether it is due to personal reasons or unplanned ones, each and every friendship must reach an end at some time. As I entered high school, I was very afraid of my future, of the immensity of my school, and the immensity of my life. But I realized that life is only as big as you make it. If you choose, you can have a closeknit group of friends or a large selection of various types of friends. its up to you. But back to my point. I made many friends in high school, but only a handful that will continue to have my friendship as I've moved to the next step in my life. My five best friends, my girlfriend, and a few others are only a hundredth of the people that I knew in my high school days, but now they are most likely out of my life forever, not by choice, but by nature. Don't get me wrong, I am very excited to be in college and out of high school, but I don't think that I realized what I was losing. My best friend with whom I spent countless days after school shooting hoops, watching movies, ordering pizza, and just hanging out decided to go to another school than me. I didn't realize how much I would miss him until he left. When I see him for the first time, it's going to be a relief, but when will that time come, and it's only going to last for short period of time. My girlfriend also chose another school, but hers was four states away. I knew leaving her would be most difficult, but I underestimated the pain. I miss seeing her every day and hearing about the intricate details of her life. what she had for breakfast, how her math test was, what she wore to school, when she got off work, how her family was, and many other little things that are often ignored when someone is around all the time. I feel like I don't know her as well as I used to and I wonder if I ever will. The leaving cut our relationship short, which also makes me wonder if our ever after will ever have a chance to grow. I guess the point of this is that sometimes we don't realize what we have until it's gone. and maybe realizing is worse, or maybe it's better, I don't know. Anyhow, I wonder why we're here, and maybe being away from everyone will help me figure it all out. But for now, I guess my hopes and dreams will drive me to care not what everything is worth, but to be happy that we get a chance to be here, happy we get a chance to grow up, make friends, go to school, learn amazing things, fall in love, and, of course, be alive! 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n