aimagic/big5essay huggingface dataset:
A of the present I guess the most common feelings I have are nervousness, excitement, sad, and happy. I imagine that these emotions are all quite normal, especially for a first year student. I guess the first two I will talk about are the "better" of the bunch: happy and excitement. The main reason I am feel these would have to be that for the first time in my life I have "true" responsibilty, there is not a parent or teacher looking over my shoulder to make sure I finish all my work and get it in on time, it is up to me. Secondly, I am lookinf forward to the learning style of college. No longer will I be bambarded with quesitons asking about pointless dates and useless facts, I will be asked to explain the theories and ideas taught in class. The lack of this is what I disliked about grade-school. I guess, at least in my case, for eahc "good" feeling there is an oppisite, "not-so-good" emotion. Most of the people I have talked to that went off to college were the most nervous about the simple fact of being away from home, "being on your own. "  I have friends as close as 20 minutes from home feeling the same thingas those 3000 miles away. But, at least as far as I can tell, I am not that home sick. THe part about being away from home is the fact that most of my friends are going to school at home. Granted I have a few friends going off to colleges that aren't at home or isn't UT, but the most part if my friends are not in San Antonio (home), then they are up here at UT, in fact my roommate has been a friend of mine since 8th grade. Even on top of the "friends" factor, the one that gets me the most is that my girlfriend is still at home. That would have to be the hardest part about coming to UT and the reason for the most nervousness and most about of sadness. Lucky for us though San Antonio is not that far, coparatively speaking, so the amount of time we can spend together is greater than that of my friends who went to other states and have a boyfriend or girlfriend in San Antonio. Although I am in the Longhorn Band, so that, at least for the fall, is eating up most of my time, but the time we do have together we enjoy a great deal, and both of our families support us so that helps considerably. So I guess all-in-all there are a lot of good emotions and feeling in me involving the change to "college-life", but nontheless there are still those "not-so-good" ones residing in me. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
Wow, I can't believe I'm finally here. I've waited so long to get to the point that I am in my life right now, and now that I'm finallly here I feel like I really am not. I return to that same question that I've always grappled with. What is my purpose??  If I was religious in any sense then I might be compelled to believe in the "obvious. "  But I am not and therefore I must pretend to be purposeful and hope that in the end my lufe will be fulfilling. What did I throw away with Mike?  Or did I throw it away?  Only time will tell I guess. I will say that I have never known such unconditional love as that which I had from him. I crave excitement though. A restless mind, I suppose. And a restless heart. One day I will meet my match I feel. Someone who will mirror me in my restlessness. we will feel out the world together and find happiness in adventure and passion. False idealism perhaps - or perhaps not. I burn with anger for what happened to Amber. Anger for whoever violated her and anger in myself for not seeing it coming. Let me correct myself - anger for actually seeing it coming and not doing anything about it. I've seen this coming to her for a year at least. And I never said anything to her. I learn from others, but I suppose others don't always learn from me. Thank God she's ok. perhaps it was a blessing in disguise. Well, a new start and new people await here. I feel like the world has handed me a gift and now it is my responsibility to embellish upon it. It's all there on a silver platter for me to grapple with, and I DO intend to grapple. I'm putting in my two weeks notice on August 1st. Counting down the days. My job has become such a headache. The money is good, the hours suck, and now the people suck. Why does money mean so much to me?  I feel like a green-eyed monster and I'm only 18 years old. I'm already thinking about investing. Thinking about doing a little research and putting my money where my mouth is. I plan on being in the six digits by the time 30 rolls around. What do you see when you look into people's eyes?  Eyes are the windows to the soul. I can read so much into a person by looking at their eyes while they talk. So what am I doing with blue contacts?  What am I trying to hide?  What do I want to become?  I think I would trust my warm brown eyes over my glacier-blue contacts any day. All in the fun I guess. A mystery to others and maybe even to myself. Casper is so peaceful. I wish I were a dog sometimes. To be caressed and loved all day and to give unconditional love without material or superficial worries must be pure emotional ectasy. Not a care in the world. My bed is calling.   

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
It is really hot in here. I wish someone would turn the ac down. I hope I didn't miss anything in Calculus today, but I can get the notes from Nicole. I need to do so much stuff this week with little time to do it in. I need to email David and reply to all of the emails I got yesterday. I need to hang up my pictures in my room, but don't have anything to hang them with. I still haven't cashed the check from mom, and I'm running low on money. College is sooooo expensive and there's always too much to do. I hardly have time to do everything that I need to do. I have to pay for all of the clubs I want to join and speaking of that, I have to write essays and fill out applications for TX sweethearts, spirits, the children's hospital, and go to a meeting for AED. I have a meeting at the ADPi house tonight and Wed night!!!!  All these meetings--at least one everyday/night. I also have so much chemistry homework tonight. I keep falling behind in all of my classes. As soon as I catch up in one of them, I fall behind in another. But last night I did a lot of homework, so that helped a little. You know, everytime I am trying to write a thought, twenty more come into my mind. I wonder who looks at these writings and if they get bored of hearing everyone's thoughts. I have to do seven minute abs tonight because my roommate and I are going to for two weeks to see if we can get a six pack. My fingers are starting to tingle from typing so much, so fast. I wonder what's for dinner tonight at the sorority house. I hope it's something healthy. I haven't been eating very healthy since I left home. Not that I ate healthy before but at least I had complete meals, not just pizza or junk food. what else am I thinking of?. maybe if I look around my room. i really need to clean my crap off the floor and desperately need to do laundry. I normally go home to do it but I do not have time to go all the way home and waste time there, waiting for it to dry like last time. although I did promise my brother that I'd bring him up to my dorm to check it out since he hasn't seen it yet. and I really want to see my dogs. I think I miss Bear more than anyone else. probably because I cannot talk to him over the phone or email him like I can my parents. russ calls me nonstop and really gets on my nerves. I feel bad when I'm mean to him but I have so much stuff to do and don't really have time to talk about nothing to him. uh, oh, my sweetmate just got home from yesterday. She stays at her boyfriend's house almost every night. gretchen told me that she came in at 7am this morning making tons of noise. she doesn't care about other people and is so self-centered. I hope she doesn't come in here and read this. that'd be very bad. I need to go to TOPS to get my pictures from last friday night. I had so much fun and want something to remember the night by. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: n
Well, since my friend just told me how she neglected to get us these free random  glow in the dark condoms, I've got sex on the brain, not that I've even had sex before. It's just one of those things that jumps in my head two or three times a day. I think it's because it's one of those unknown things I haven't experienced yet. I really wish I was back at home sitting on my bed, with my dog at my feet, waiting for my brother to come in and keep me up talking about my poor relationship problems which I still to this day haven't figured out. I miss him, my boyfriend/ friend/ player/ love or whatever. All I know is that I had fun with him no matter what was going on in my life. He could and still can always make me laugh. I miss that. I just plain miss him. And I'm not saying that I never once thought of having sex with him but it was never a real issue. He made me smile and never upset me. Well, that's not completely true. sometimse he upset me but it wasn't his fault. Unfortunately, I loved him a lot more than he loved me even though he really and truly loved me a lot. sometimes  I wonder if he is gay. I know that sounds odd but maybe   . no forget it. I'n so exhausted and all I want to do is go to sleep in my own bed under a real homy roof. I know it sounds funny becaouse they're probably all asleep but I wonder what they're doing- mY family and John and my other long lost friends who off at some far away college. poor Jonathan is out at sea. I hope it's not raining on him. THe food here is good but I don't like having some one tell me when I have to eat and when I can't. There is no refrigerator with Blue Bell stuffed in the back. And most of all, there is no Arlington Dance Academy. Oh, guys I wish I was there to teach my little kids and have them run up and hug my leg. I wish I had my senior class back cause I have so many great ideas from new pop songs I've heard here in Austin. Why can't I just skip the whole college thing. I know ican do it and I have the abiltiy and the committment to finish, Ijust don't think I need to . I want to run a dance studio  . I need to be going to conventions and new York and watching my previous dance instructor run the agenda and show me the accounting not learning about some stupid coorporations that I'll never want a job from or need an interview from. I just want to do what I've been doing best for the last 15 years and that is choreograph real dance in my own studio with my own ideas and expectations. It's my dream and its getting away from me. school seems second now and I really don't care. I've put it first most of the rest of my life. I did my 18 years now I want my career, my dream. I still want to dance myself but that is possible except not here in Austin where most of the studios are for elementary and the directors are real snots. people should want you to dance with them especially if you have a good attitude. but my bed is calling to me and I still have some very important e-mails to take care of. it's so nice to know that some people care enough at least to type. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: n
I hope that it doesn't matter that I do not capitalize anything. I seem to type better and more "stream of conscious"-like when I don't have to worry about anything. I like it here at ut. I like how my classes are big. I thought that it was going to be a really big change for me. I went to private school all of my life until right now. my classes were no bigger than 25 people. in fact my psychology class is almost bigger than my entire high school. the hardest part for me so far has been homesickness. I really do like it here. but this whole independence thing is new to me. this week has been a ton better than last week was. I am a little worried about tomorrow because I have two quizzes - one in chemistry and one in medical terminology. they shouldn't be too hard because I've been studying all week. first tests are always worrisome I think. I am going back home to san antonio tomorrow. I can't wait to see my dad. he has been in la for a week or so and I haven't seen him or talked to him. when I think of my dad I always think of this past summer because we would always watch the atlanta braves games and espn baseball tonight together. I have always been a big baseball fan. I never wanted to play softball or baseball, I just really like to watch it. I have realized that watching baseball with my dad at night was how we bonded. he is not a big talker. he is not a very sensitive person either. throughout my life I have never really had anything in common with my father until baseball. I guess the biggest thing has also been me coming to ut. he came here and graduated from law school over 20 years ago. he was so proud that I decided to come here. I love to see him happy. my boyfriend is still in san antonio. he doesn't admit that he didn't want for me to like it here. but I know him better than he knows himself. we've been dating for over three years now. it doesn't seem like that long. I love him. he has tried everything to make me feel better, concerning homesickness that is. he calls me every night and tells me how his day was and then asks me about mine. he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. it's kind of scary though. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. but I am only 18 years old. how do I know for sure that he is the one?  I guess it is just another mystery of life. last week when I went back home I went out with my boyfriend on friday night. I didn't think that it was going to affect my mom so much. she was so hurt that I wanted to go out with him and not spend my time with her. it's hard though. being torn between your boyfriend and your family. but I spend all day saturday and sunday with my family. my mom apologized to me about how she acted. I told her that it was hard for me to choose and that I felt torn between the two. she understood and now everything is great. communication is the key to improving and understanding all relationships. that is what I think anyways. well my twenty minutes are up. I have to go meet my roommate and then we are going to go eat. until the next writing assignment. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: y, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y
I think college is going to be the best part of my life. Coming from my high school, it seemed hopeless to find a place where I'd fit in. UT has such a wide diversity of people and so many ways to meet new people, that I think, I will have no problem finding someone like me. Of course, right now, I'm still a little shy about talking to people but hopefully that will change. I really want to join a soroity and become active in as many Hispanic and other multicultural events or projects as my schedule will allow. Maybe this will help me find the kind of people that can relate to me. Even though I only know a couple of people on campus, I feel more comfortable there than I ever did in high school.          Outside of school, things are good at home. I have all the love and support than I can ever ask for from my family. Without them I don't know where I'd be. I love them very much. I don't know why I can't tell them that. I guess I'm just too stubborn. I also get a lot of support from my boyfriend. Even though I didn't really want a boyfriend, I'm glad he's there. He brings a lot of fun to my life. I hope school doesn't take away my time for him. I know its going to though, ecspecially if I join all the organizations that I want.            Overall,I'm satisfied with everything. I know its going to be a long and hard four years, but I'm looking forward to walking the stage with an engineering major.           

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: n, Openness: n
I don't know how to start a paper like this but I'll do my best. I really miss my mom and my sister, but most of all I miss my boyfriend Michael. He means so much to me and I feel as if our relationship is falling apart because I live a 100 miles away. I don't know how to get over this feeling of loneliness. I meet a lot of people but I still always think of him. He is so understanding too. He said he would understand if I wanted to date other guys. But to be honest with you, I don't. I know I am too young right now to know if my feelings are real but no one up here even compares to him and that really scares me. I cry every night because I miss him so much. I'm tired of crying and feeling scared. I want Michael to be here with me but that is impossible. I went home this past weekend and I realized how much I loved it. I never wanted to come back to Austin. I hate it here. Nothing is secure and there is no one to count on. I wish I could go back home but I can't. I would transfer somewhere closer but I am in one of the top business schools and if I get out then I might never get back in. Don't get me wrong, this is an outstanding school, I am just so homesick. I guess in time though it will get better. Everyone says that the first few months are hard for freshmen. It is such a big adjustment to make. I just hope I will adjust. What if I never do?  Then what happens?  Am I to be unhappy forever?  That is how I feel right now. That I will never be happy again as long as I am here and Michael is down there. Maybe I will feel like that for 2 more years, maybe I won't. One can never know. Sometimes I write poetry to ease my mind. I find that it really helps me express my feelings. Whoever is reading this, do you know of a poetry class or something that I could take?  I think I would really like that. I also want to  learn how to play the piano. Then Michael could play the guitar and I could play the piano. That would be interesting. I wish Christmas holidays would come so I could go home for an extended period of time. I never thought that I would miss it this much, but I do. I think I want to live in my hometown when I grow up. It is such a nice town. Everybody knows everybody and it is so safe. And there I won't be alone. I hate being alone. I'm tired of being alone. I have friends here but they can only do so much. It takes that extra person to really get you over the hump, unfortunately he does not live here. Maybe someday, we can be together again. At least that is what I dream of at night. He is the only one that makes me truly happy. well, time is up! 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: n
well I just got back from my home town in huntsville today. I went down there for my granny and paw paws fiftieth wedding anniversary. I think today was the hardest move I ever made. it as my first trip home since I moved  down here. the first time wasnt as hard as today was. I guess I realized that I don't live there anymore. when I was leaving I thought to myself I have to go home. but this doesn't feel like home to me, huntsville does. I had a blast while I was there. I got to see most of my friends including my girlfriend which I was basically forced to break up with because of my move cause everyone knows that long distance relationships don't work. but it was like nothing had even changed. I had so much fun with her and with my old friends. I honestly didnt want to come back today. I cried the most I've ever cried in my life today. the hardeset thing for me was to see my mom cry. I think she realized that I was actually gone as well. I could also tell my dad was fighting back the tears. the only other time I have ever seen my dad almost close to crying was when his grandmaw died. me and him are best friends. he told me he loved me today which I havent heard out of his mouth in a while because you know,  were "men". as I pulled out of my driveway, my mom and dad were hugging each other,  they have never done anything but scream and yell at each other since my 18 years of living there. I burst into tears at the sight and drove off with that pain in youre neck you get when you try to fight back tears. this still wasnt as bad as when I had to tell my exgirlfriend bye again. she was the last person I saw before I left and I spent about an hour over there. we talked about how much fun we used to have. I wish I could see her more often. she gave me my birthday present today because I wont be home for it. she wrote me the sweetest card  and I started to cry again. then I opened the present and it was a fairly expensive watch and I burst into tears again. I realize how much she really is in love with me and I wish I was there to share that with her. its going to be even harder to get usec to living down here now. to end with a good note every one I visited sent me lots of food back. thanks for listening, I feel a lot better now. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: n, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: n, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: n
These past couple of weeks I have felt kind of out of place. Not that I haven't been having fun and meeting new people just that it is taking some time to adjust to everything. I sometimes think that I have too much going on and that I need to quit something. Between school, Texas Pom, and soroity I am always on the go, and I never have time to just sit and relax. However, when I get a little time to just relax, all my friends start to come in my room and ask me to go do something or just talk. I don't want to be rude about it, because I don't know all them well enough to know how they would react. For example, I've been feeling sick lately and I really should stay home and get some rest tonight, but all of my pledge sisters are going to a mixer tonight, and I feel that I should go with them. I don't really want to go, but I feel like I need to meet some more people and not let my pledge sisters down. I know that they understand, but I also feel that they might think that I don't like to go out and have a fun time with them. These thoughts have also led me to revaluate why I did Texas Pom. We have to practice so much a week that I have to miss some of my pledge meetings and give up time that I could use to study or rest. However, I love the girls on the squad and all of the fun that we've had together so far. Also, the games are such a rush and make me feel so privalleged to be out there on that field. I would feel like I was letting the whole team down if I quit something that I've been committed to a lot longer than my soroity. Plus my coach has been so understanding lately with the adjustments that I'm going through, that it would be hard for me to tell him that I might want to quit. I guess I just need to sit down and eveluate all of the options that I have right now, or maybe just give it another couple of weeks to get adjusted before I make a decision. 

Big Five personality labels — Extraversion: y, Neuroticism: n, Agreeableness: y, Conscientiousness: y, Openness: y