ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
It is Tuesday night, about 8 o'clock, and I don't really have time to do this assignment but I know that I have to so I'm going to do it anyway. I'm about ready to throw this computer off the desk right now because I am so mad. I have the most annoying boyfriend in the world whom I want to kill. Not really kill, maybe just hurt really bad. He thinks he knows everything in the world and he doesn't, nor will he admit that he acts this way. Everyone around him can see this accept him. It really bothers me. When I try to tell him he just says "whatever, I don't think I know everything" but he really does act this way. It bothers me so much sometimes that I get so upset and frustrated that I want to cry. But O well. There is nothing I can do about it and he is to stubborn to even listen to me so I guess I can either find a way to deal with it or not. And if I can't or if he doesn't change I guess this relationship will fail after almost 2 years. What a waste. O well, I tried. I guess we will have to wait and see. So anyway that is what is on my mind right now and I can't believe that I have been writing for almost 20 minutes. It seems like 5 or 10. That is pretty nifty. I like this assignment alot. It made me feel alot better, so gracias. I'm kinda worried that something might happen to this and whoever is going to grade this won't ever get it. I have really bad luck like that. I guess I'll find out at class next time. Hopefully my social security number will be on the big list. If not, I guess I'm screwed. I wonder if anybody is going to read this ? I hope not. I will sound pretty dumb. Maybe everyone else will to. Guess what the buzzer for 20 minutes is going crazy so even though it has been great, I must depart. So long till tomorrow.
In the summer I had a surgery on my shoulder and currently I am in therapy. The pain I am experiencing right now is pretty bad. I am an athlete and I am used to bear with pain. But all the pain I have had before was relatively voluntary. I am also very anxious to get to my normal daily training. My body is screaming for training. But my body is not a problem, my problem is my soul and mind. I really miss diving and I want to come back and kick everybody's ass. I am also anxious to start studying. I am looking forward into this semester and I like my classes. I feel very excited about school and want to get great grades this year. That's all that I think about at the moment. I am home sick and I want to go home. I can go home for Christmas but I want to go right now. I want to be with my family. I have not seen my family for over a year and I really miss them. I want to be with my friends and see them every day. They are all at home in Russia and I can not wait to see them again. Some of them had babies recently and I want to see them as well. I have known my friends for 10 years and we are very close to each other. I hope I will see them soon.
These past couple of weeks I have felt kind of out of place. Not that I haven't been having fun and meeting new people just that it is taking some time to adjust to everything. I sometimes think that I have too much going on and that I need to quit something. Between school, Texas Pom, and soroity I am always on the go, and I never have time to just sit and relax. However, when I get a little time to just relax, all my friends start to come in my room and ask me to go do something or just talk. I don't want to be rude about it, because I don't know all them well enough to know how they would react. For example, I've been feeling sick lately and I really should stay home and get some rest tonight, but all of my pledge sisters are going to a mixer tonight, and I feel that I should go with them. I don't really want to go, but I feel like I need to meet some more people and not let my pledge sisters down. I know that they understand, but I also feel that they might think that I don't like to go out and have a fun time with them. These thoughts have also led me to revaluate why I did Texas Pom. We have to practice so much a week that I have to miss some of my pledge meetings and give up time that I could use to study or rest. However, I love the girls on the squad and all of the fun that we've had together so far. Also, the games are such a rush and make me feel so privalleged to be out there on that field. I would feel like I was letting the whole team down if I quit something that I've been committed to a lot longer than my soroity. Plus my coach has been so understanding lately with the adjustments that I'm going through, that it would be hard for me to tell him that I might want to quit. I guess I just need to sit down and eveluate all of the options that I have right now, or maybe just give it another couple of weeks to get adjusted before I make a decision.
this is the second time I am doing thin assignment. I checked to day and my social security number had no 1 or 2 by it so here I am. I am watching tv the news actually and they are giving the weather and my tummy is full because I just ate corn and chicken mmmmmm that was good now I feel tight and warm a little. it a good feeling. my ear itches. oh todays lecturer was GREAT well all the lecturers are great but the reading is dead I mean dead I need to really concentrate on the reading. my  girl friend is laughing at me because I have set my schedule book with all the things I have to do and on Mondays I have a poetry class and I have a lot to read and write for that class so for the first few Mondays I was writing everything I had to do but I got tired of doing that so I began writing "shit loads"  my head itches and so dose my leg man how could that guy rape a 55 year old woman he was really fucked up. now the flowers are going away for Diana. anyway mars is coming into view. did you know that the song from 2001 a space odyssey the song in the begging I forgot its name and the composer but he composed that song after reading nietczhe. pretty neat huh? well I think my time is also most up there are no more tickets left for the big game. I don't like football unless it is soccer. far and few between are my thoughts. mmmmm what do you write when you don't want to do this and when there is a distracting tv girlfriend work and my Chihuahua well that is it twenty minutes good by good sirs and madams!!!!
Rather than sitting at a blank computer screen right now, I am sitting in the hallway outside my dorm room. You see, my roommate Carly is sleeping. She was fortunate to have no classes on friday. I on the other hand, have chemistry on friday mornings at 10. You understand the peril it takes to get out of bed on fridays when she can sleep away, often until long after I return. As is the case today, which is why I am still in the hallway so as to not disturb her sleep. It's not that I need to sleep right now, it's the idea behind it--she sleeping while I am up and writing this paper. This paper by the way is the first of two papers I have been blessed to right today. This writing assignment is fun; it's pretty interesting to see where your mind will go in a matter of a few minutes or seconds. One word or thought will take you in a completely new and most of the time, very different direction. Back to the second paper I'll be writing today. My ethics in nursing class has a paper due next thursday. We meet twice a week, one on tuesdays and once on thursdays. It is quite a walk to the nursing building. It is located at the far end of campus, so much so that often times it is omitted from maps of campus. But, I enjoy the class so the walk is manageable. Ahh, all these pop ups keep coming while I am writing this. I really don't like the idea of pop ups. Back to my paper. We discuss some pretty controversial subjects in the ethics class, all in preparation for the nursing field. It's hard to think of everything that we will one day face. That is, if we actually get accepted into the nursing program. It's pretty tough I believe. They don't accept everyone which leans its way to be a competitive program. I hope I get accepted. It seems to be the direction that God is pointing my towards. I don't now though; I think  I need to have a couple more talks with him to see where He wants me and  where I might serve him best. Well, I'm approaching the end of this writing assignment activity. So without further adew(I don't really know how to    spell that word, but go with me on it) this will end my first writing assignment for psychology. I sure hope I accomplished the task at hand. It seemed easy enough. but I guess we'll see. My phone is ringing. I bet it is Sterling.
what should I write about? I wish that I was not so slow at typing. I wonder how long I have typed for . man I haven't typed that long only 1 minute and 39 seconds. I wonder how much longer this is going to be. my phone is ringing. oh its amy I don't feel like talking to her where is ter there it is yeah she really gets annoying sometimes I really care about her but sometimes I can't stand it man I still have only been oops accidentally typed an m what should I write about what do I like I like baseball I still haven't watch espn to find out what happened with the astos I hope they are still in first place what to write about what to oops man I wish that I was better at typing they are talking about people famous on tv that are reflecting on what they were doing at age 17 man I'm almost 19 17 seems like it wasc so long ago jessica simpson is fine she is talking on tv right now I wish that she was my girlfriend she is really fine man 20 minutes seems a lot longer than I thought or hoped it would be this seems like it is taking forever man I hope it rains tomorrow so I don't have to work work is getting worse and worse every day that I work I just want to get it over with so that I can get paid I remember when I had to do one of these things in elementary school I wonder what grade it was maybe it was in middle school with mrs webber she was a really goods teacher I wonder what ever happened to her I wonder if she still works at trinity she was a hard teacher but a very good one I wonder how much longer man I am almost finished oh I am
well I think this is a fun experiment. lets see, what am I feeling? I'm sick. and I can't stop sneezing and coughing. which is distracting as I try to write this. I'm not sure but as I'm writing this I go back and correct my spelling mistakes. I love rings I need to get some more. I only have one on my middle finger and its really pretty. man I can't believe I didn't say hi to brian this morning when I saw him. its so pointless to act like I didn't see him when I looked right his way this morning. god I hope doesn't think I'm some kind of moody bitch. I feel incompetent. I have no specialty. last night I tried writing 2 songs but it doesn't help that I don't know anything about songwriting or reading music or coming up with a beat. although I must say I have things to say. so at least that is good. I'm annoyed with myself for getting hung up on things that already happened. wait am I doing this wrong. this feels  more like a journal entry than just what am thinking in the moment. ok I need to stop reading what I just wrote. this room is dark I should open the blinds and jeez if my nose could just stop running. man I'm tired of typing already and its only been about 9 minutes. I need to call maz and ask what is up with our friend who I emailed 2 days ago and has not responded yet. I wonder if he is still in egypt and maybe doesn't have access to a computer. I want to paint my bedroom a light green or yellow color. does that say anything about me. god I feel nauseous. I don't even know how to spell that word. I have to stop eating weird combinations of food. I just had peach yogurt, garlic and parmesan cheese its and graham crackers with milk. I don't even have room for lunch. I must work out. god beyonce has a nice stomach in that baby boy" music video. if I could lose another 23 pounds that would be awesome. I just need to work out. I need determination. that is such a powerful emotion. I need to buy more shoes and clean up this mess in my room. but it seems I clean it every other day. ok now I'm freaking out. I have 3 tests this week and I feel a little lost is most of them. boy I need some will power to . man I can't get over this nasty feeling of what I just ate. I feel so lost. what do I do. maybe a nice shower might help. oh only 30 seconds left. this went by faster than I thought it would go. and times up . I'm done!
I am totally hopeful that in the next two hours I will be able to find a date. also I am feeling a little stressed because I don't know what is going to happen to me if I don't do good and transfer into the business school because if I get denied I am probably going to have to transfer back to an easier business school in the Midwest which is the last thing I want to do. I really love it here in Austin, the people are so much nicer than people back in Chicago where I am from. Southern hospitality is really not a myth, the people are truly charming and I love the Southern accent. Back in Chicago the people are not nice and overall the attitude there is obnoxious. That is one of the major reasons that I decided to come here, I knew it would be nicer and it is. But the only thing that I don't like is why I get the vibe from some people that I shouldn't be here, they always ask me "Why did you come here" and they don't ask it nicely. I wonder if it is a possessive feeling that people here in Texas have about their state. It is definitely still going to take a bit of getting used to before I am able to feel like I fit in because right now I feel like a foreigner in a faraway place. I am definitely not used to feel like a minority, it is something I am also going to get a lot of crap for especially with my fraternity, because out of 60 pledges only me and a guy from Minnesota are the only out of states. Pledgeship doesn't worry me but I am anxious to meet people and it isn't happening here I n the Towers where I live because it is so much like an apartment complex and not a dorm that no one goes out of the way to meet people which I truly did not expect. I wish that this stupid girl next to me whose computer I am using who ditched me on the way to your class is are really not nice girl who is way too cool for me , she s got a slight attitude problem and I think that it relates to boyfriend problems. See you later.
I feel somewhat confident but also unsure about myself entering college. I am  excited about what might become of this expeience and oppotunity but am also  somewhat unsure about some of the greater unknowns out there on a university  cmapus. I am sitting in a some what comfortable chair and that is quite  relaxing although I shoulnd't be so concerned with feelings although they are  important but they can get you into trouble and can misled you sometimes. This  psychology course should be an interestingone and I am looking forward to  learning about personality especially . I have a somewhat usual but unusual  personality,  I feel proud about that which I probably shouldn't because  anything that I have is a gift endowed by the Creator. Pride is something that  creeps into me and this disappoints me when I see it evident in my life  everything that I have is from God ultimately and so I shouldn't have any reason  to be proud of something That God has given to me while I have done some of the  work in the eternal scopeof thing s I will alos be held accountable for any  gifts that I have received. this assignment is somewhat interesting although it  is not sometying that I have done very often I don't like to do things new  naturally but there is something of a Holy Spirit power that has recently  enabled me to do things that I normally wouldn't have had the strength to do pon  my own strength. I think that the truth of Jesus Christ is the most amazing  thing that I have ever encountered I also feel the same way about it . There is  a lonely feeling that tends to pervade me right now but this is soon wiped away  by the invocation of the All- Holy Name ofJesus. Personality is utterly  intriguing I think because it can teeel us so much about people and understand  why we have tendencies to do the things that wed do. I don't really like pearl  jam  but I do like classicla music and I love this group called third Dayu. College is such an interesting concept that it comes at a time that we are  learning to think about things for ourselves and discerning truth from lie. This is a much greater method on the whole than havingh someone else think for   you lest it be God seeing to it how He is the only One that knows all andcan  never err. Truth seeking must be doen in a very humble frame of mind though fo  rif we expect more than we humans are capable of or wait to long to make a  decision, seeing how life is so sort and essential we could die at any time as f  ar as we know. The clock says that I am completed with 19 minutes of the  proposed 20 and I don't know if that is good or bad because I rather enjoyed  this assignment seeing to the fact that I got to talk about some of the thing s  tha t enter my mind sometimes peroidically and sometimes frequently. it is  interesting to observe radom thoughts and frequency of thought and how many  mistakes I amke on the keyboard wh
Today has been a good day. At first I was afraid that UT was going to be a difficult experience for me since I had never been far away from home for more than one week, but it has turned out well. I've met a lot of people. Last night, I had a really good time. Even though I was out really late it was an enjoyable experience. I have tried to maintain friendships with people from my small town of Laredo. Although many of them weren't close friends they are still a contact to a world so different from the world that I used to live in. Nonetheless, I don't think I want to live in the past. I want to live life to the fullest. In fact, I decided a few days ago that the only way to adjust and have fun, I have to remember that I am a naturally outgoing person even though shyness sometimes overcomes me. Due to this, I have met more people. I do hope that the people I have met so far aren't psycho, though. You never know who you are talking to in a town this size or what that person must be thinking. Last night I had to ask some random person for a ride because the dorm dorms were locked and there was no one there to answer. Under any normal circumstances I would not have done such an irresponsible and dangerous acts but I was scared and I didn't want to spend the night in the lobby. As a result, I see that UT and Austin are turning me into a new person that I always wanted to be. Uninhibited. Fun. Wild. Although these characteristics have always been in me I realize now that they are barely rearing their heads for a a new beginning of adventure and excitement.  I don't miss home as much as I thought I would. I see that freedom and self-rule has begun to change my personality (hopefully for the better). However, I can't help but think that it may all be wrong. What if home is what kept me safe and secure. Being away from my boyfriend is the hardest. It has been two weeks since I last saw him and already doubts have sprung into my mind. I think of him and don't miss him the way I thought I would. I do in a way but not as badly as expected. A friend told me to keep her posted on my feelings and what I was thinking but I feel that talking about my lack of feelings would be almost as bad as being unfaithful to him. Nontheless, UT is proving to be a different and definitely exciting experience that I hope to enjoy for many more years. The future lies ahead and I await it with an anxiousness I have never known. I hope it all works out in the end.
From what I gather, I'm supposed to sit here and track what I think as I think it. At this moment, all I can seem to think about is how I missed BA101 earlier today. I went to Calculus, which ended at 2:00 pm, and I was supposed to go to BA101 at 5:00pm. In between this three hour period, I went to sit with a friend while he ate lunch, followed by going up to his room to get a copy of a virus scanner and a game. In doing so, I completely forgot that I even had another class. I ended up watching and playing a video game. I came back, feeling just fine, when my roommate asked, "Did you go to class?" I actually had to stop and think, "Did I have a class to go to?" Of course, as I've said, the answer was "yes. " Now, I can't escape this panicked, empty feeling in my chest. If there's one thing I generally take pride in, it's my academic "excellence. " Part of our grade in the class is based (Of course, I had to miss one of my whopping two classes that actually take attendance!) on participation in discussions, etc. One can easily infer that you might actually need to be there in order to take any part. I already participated one event for the five we can have for extra credit, but I don't know if that will cover the points I'm sure to have lost for not going to class today. Incidentally, the way we are awarded points in that particular class seems asinine. Some of the time, we're in small discussion groups, and other times we're in a large auditorium for lectures. Anyway, while we're in our discussion groups, we're awarded "x" amount of points per period based on whether or not the TA feels, at that moment in time, that you've contributed something useful to the group. This is silly because sometimes people just plain don't have either an opinion or much of any knowledge on the topics they may present. Also, if there is something that can be said, it may be declared by someone else before the opportunity to speak presents itself. The grading for our larger project seems to lack sense as well, but we haven't actually started it, so I don't know all that it entails. Now that I've gotten that out, I feel a little bit more relaxes about my predicament because I seem to recall that the amount of points one can receive per class is minute in comparison to the project that is yet to begin. Plus, there is that extra credit. I'll have to be sure to get all the extra credit I can. From what I've been told by those who've actually taken the class, it's supposed to be an easy "A. " Even still, I'm not starting off on the right foot. This was only our third class day. It's a onehour course that meets, for me at least, only on Thursdays. That's a good thing and a bad thing. It's good because there's plenty of time in between class days to get all the goals accomplished (if you make it to class and actually know what those goals are. ). It's bad because now I have a whole week to think about today's "event. " I must stop now. I set an alarm, and my twenty minutes are up.