Going home next weekend car parents wreck money in trouble take the car away can't get home to see Matt love sad tears cry lonely missing dogs sweet puppies faces walks hot heat stroke news program canine fatality mom call long distance phone bill money static on phone buy new phone white cordless money gym membership classes time homework professors workload reading retention problem novels textbooks boring learning professional applications journalism writing career salary relationships working paper Austin money internships this summer away from Matt and Aaron lonely love blue eyes blond hair big smiles arms friendships not many new people lots of kids here so far from home thought it'd be fun dorm room Lilian terry spending the night intrusions novel red hair abstractions pictures smiles on the cover enticing not all that interesting husband beach walking love separations Will sad confused masks emotional problems help girlfriends many people can't let go me told me I was the first person he let in scared upset angry cheating two guys wrong questions Matt wonderful perfect what would he say upset hurt never know sometimes it's better not to know hard as humans to understand that we always want to know I want to know if he's okay it's hard to ask him questions too many to discover what's going on how he feels bottled up feelings love rejection hate Liz hypocrisy fraudulent not truthful truth what is that how to decide about the truth music freedom dancing dizzy concert this weekend freshman seminar write up professor twitches stutters good person studies humanity quote you know you're in the wrong profession if you can't explain what you do to a small child help people everybody wants to so many ways to help people look kind when they're not blue eyes quiet lips smile blond streaks bike math class walking by rack Mondays slow lazy not quite right homework sleep bed miss home waterbed spoiled selfishness what is that selflessness love relationships translations cousin only child pregnant baby mom email birth control pills University Health Services call money what none of us have Jester dorms private Castillian Ryan and Mark view city not worth the money sorority valley girls buying friends cheerleaders high school football team thin and blonde tiny throw in the air Mom prom queens sappy crying proud of me band saxophones Stricklin juvenile child incapable fraud Matt brownnoser driving truck for the stupid old man Gary Ryan sad no one to live with old house compound like him friendly joking racist sexist Matthew Gary smartass kiss up payoff is not much working can't stop him I love him want him to know high school college at UT difficult to get accepted hopeful what's right for him Iowa me and Aaron Mom's wishes conclusions Dad where I was going all along presumptuous annoying parents always right though most annoying part of it all conservative controlling let loose party go away nothing will come of it all sad family screwed up pregnancy drugs bad drugs cocaine meth sleeping around southern families northerners think they're better because of this kind of thing maybe some of them are Mom thinks she's better Dad's right but she's still a good person most of the time can't read novels short attention span not stupid but not as smart as she thinks me important reading writing descriptions visual green book journal drawings nothing in her word document computer fixed Todd $300 too much USB computer help desk does nothing red tape big university Trinity rejected.