Hi, I'm sitting here in the computer lab at the FAC, and it is dark outside and I'm a young attractive female. . I'll definitely need an escort when it's time to go home. Home, that's what I call my dorm these days. it's just easier for me. I want to have some established place to live and stuff that way I'll be more plugged in to the university lifestyle. I used to laugh at LT when she called her dorm home. I guess I am following in her footsteps. although her strides are quite different from mine. and talking of strides, I miss cross country and all the guys. it was so much fun. I enjoyed every moment of it without even knowing it. I wish I could rewind back to those days when everything was so nice, so quarantined and all the laws of nature followed as they should. what went up came down and so on. I wish I could just see the fruit of my hard work as I did in cross country. the family atmosphere that I ridiculed and even took for granted at times. how could I have been so? I who loves others, I who cherishes all my friends. they were all my friends, all 23 of them. some more than others, but we all had that common goal that I find characterizes friendships. we were a sister hood. gosh, what a mourner I am, lamenting over the past. but they were good times. I'm sure, and I hope to God that I'll have some more good times or even better than ever times still to come. but this I can only hope that God gives me. For who knows tomorrow may never be. perhaps this is all I have. I'm not afraid though, just not prepared to meet my maker yet. I don't think I've done what I was purposed to do. therefore I'm not ready to go yet. in fact,,, I don't even know what it is that I was purposed to do. perhaps it is not a single great thing, perhaps it is just all those little things that I should be doing that I was purposed to do. who knows?  who cares but me and my maker?  Anyway, I guess that's life, not figuring out what one was purposed to do but just doing it. I guess it just comes naturally as all things in life do. I don't think planning is such a great idea. I don't think MLK planned to lead the civil rights movement when he was a freshman in college. I guess the civil rights found him and appointed him leader. or so I guess. and whatever it is that I'll need to do will find me and use me for what I am worth. when put that way, it sounds almost prostitution. but it cannot be. mankind is not a prostitute race. or is it. I don't know. sometimes I think it is . other times I think it is a dignified race. but then again to think mankind a dignified race is to give it too much adoration. too much more than it deserves. Mankind is a fallen race. lower than the angles -which we should have been higher than. but then again mankind is a dignified race made in the image of God with the ability to tap into the supernatural/the unknown unlike any other creature. There is no intelligent life in other planets, we are it. Now, I don't mean to say there is no other life forms out there, but that it is not more intelligent or even as intelligent as mankind. but then again what do I know? I who was born only 18 years ago?  I don't know much, but then again, I have know a lot more than I credit myself. I have the ability to tap into the fountain of knowledge that never runs dry. there are things, great mysteries, that I knew even before I was born. but how is this?. oops my 20 minutes are up and that popup really disrupted my stream of consciousness!!!!  what an ass!