I believe in the future of agriculture, with a faith born not of words, but of deeds. Better days through better ways. That's all of the Creed to the FFA I can rememeber, although I had to recite it for many times. I feel somewhat out of place in my apartment with 4 other room mates because I pay the least rent but I have the most disposable income. I'm not sure if I spell a lot of words incorrectly because I'm dyslexic. I will say that by typing, my spelling improves. My hand writing is horrible. I can bearly read the things I write. I've worked out deals with most all of my teachers in the past about letting me take assignments home and write them. Man, this room is hot. I just turned on the fan but it's still way too hot. I want to take guitar and speed reading classes. Those are two areas of my life in which I think I drastically need improvement. Although, none of which are pertinent to my life right now. I supose the speed reading class might be. I'm so far behind in my readings for all my classes, I don't want to start. Twenty minutes is a long time to write about nothing. I wonder how many books have started, or been intirely written with not forthought what so ever going into the plot. I had a dream I thought should be a book the other night, but I can't remember it. My memmory has been getting worse daily. Not just because of the alcohol consumption. I think I'm acutally drinking less now than I did in high school. I'm feeling an excess load of self inflicted stress lately, and I think it should get a little worse in the next coulpe days and then a lot better. My girl friend of over a year and a half and I broke up a couple weeks ago, but continued to date. The part that bothers me is that I don't have the same free time as she does, so all my free time still goes to her, but she's dating other people. I told her today that I wanted to sever ties for 3 weeks and see how that goes. She's totally against it, and if I were her, I would be too. She still has the comanionship of her 1st and longest boyfriend, and can date other people on the side. One of which is the same age as my 23 year old brother who is a huge reason we broke up in the first place. I feel this pain inside me I've never felt before when I hear her talking about going places with him. But like my roommate says, there's nothing like a good jam secion. He's talking about music, but I want to jam with some other girls. Get my mind off of her. I know that the migranes and headaches are from her, and that she really is being selfish most of the time, and she's not really my "type,"  if there is a type for anyone. But I find myself unable to stop thinking about her. I met another girl the other day who has more incommon with me than anyone I've ever met. She's beautiful and got into UT. That means brains and beauty. She's just coming off of a break up from her long time boyfriend through high school as well. My main hesitation about persuing her is that I don't want either of us to mentaly, or physically, get involved just because we think we need someone at the moment. Besides, I think she's too active for me. she's the social director of her sorority. Another thing that's been stressing me out is the fact that my cholesterol is 253, and my LDL (the bad kind) is 183, higher than most people's total. The doctor told me I needed to get on medication as sooon as possible and gave me sample packages that should last me atleast a month to be sure I had time to get my perscription filled. My first thought was to get a second opinion about the medication, but I feel confident that any doctor would tell me the same thing. I would tell someone the same thing and I don't have a degree. But I can't convince my self to take it. No studies have been done to document the sideeffects of the medication on someone as young as my self. When I asked the Doctor about them, she said that I should just take half the recomended dosage and I should be okay. I decided against the medication and I've drastically changed my eating habbits, althought I didn't think they were that bad to begin with. I've never been out of shape persay, but I can tell my body's getting back into shape. I used to be very fit, but after quitting high school sports my junior year, I began to slack off. And I found the girl that I just recently broke up with, so doing workout stuff didn't compare to her. I think I'm going to start running soon. I'm lifing now more then I get my cardio up, and while it's helping my muscles get back to looking right, I don't think it's giving me the help that I need. We, the people in my apartment, have decided, because of me, to each by their own groceries. I was tired of paying for all the stuff they eat when I wouldn't have any of it. I was buying all my stuff extra anyway, and they still wanted me to pay 25 bucks a aweek for "community food"  looks like my time is up. Adios