As of right now, I'm pretty happy with my life. The only thing that I question are relationship issues. After breaking up with my long-time girlfriend 6 months ago, I haven't dated any other person. I think I'm just lonely and miss the having a girlfriend" lifestyle. The girls I have met as friends I might have considered them possible girlfriend-material when in actuality they weren't, again because I missed having a girlfriend. Recently, I've gotten over the issue a bit. I've spent time with all my friends. That's the good thing about being single, you have more time for your friends. When I was going out for my ex, which by the way the relationship lasted nearly 3 years, I didn't have much time for friends. Not only that, but I chose to be with my girlfriend as opposed to my friends. This issue of mine, it's made me a bit more self conscious. I got the idea in my head that looks really do matter. Seriously though, having a "deep" relationship is important and yadda yadda,but I really do feel that looks matter too. A friend and I were discussing this. She is been there for me a lot. When I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, she was there for me to complain to. Anyways, she said that looks don't matter and it only matters a small percentage of time. I argued with her saying that she is right that looks are only a small percentage but unfortunately that's what matters at the very beginning. I met this very interesting girl this summer. Her name is Serena. She was telling me about her past, how she was somewhat of a "geek" in high school. She didn't care about her looks or anything. She is a very bright girl, very deep. Likes art and many things most girls just don't take interest anymore. She said that she realized she felt she HAD to start dressing up to attract people first, then and only then would they be able to see the "real" side of her. I completely agree with this. There is no way people can see the real side of you unless they give you a chance and unfortunately being given a chance means you have to attract them somehow. Ever since then, I've gotten a bit obsessed with my physical features. I never did care about it much. I was in a long relationship so thoughts of attracting others didn't really enter my mind. During this recent period, I've started to lift weights a bit and work out my body. Another thought of relationships I've always wondered is at what point do you really have to "settle"? The reality is that most likely you will never find the perfect girl. When you date someone, how far into the future should you consider? Unfortunately for me, I should've realized in my last relationship that there was no future. Instead, because of my fear of being alone, I stayed with her. for nearly 3 years. It was fun and all, but we had many arguments. The reality was we were two different people. Two different backgrounds, interests, ideas, practically everything. My parents didn't like her because she wasn't chinese and wasn't very bright. (I'm Chinese by the way). I'd like to talk about my family for a second. I was born in Taiwan, and moved to the USA when I was four. Thus, I speak/write fluent English but can only speak chinese(Mandarin) since I still speak it at home. I would like to think that my family is still pretty traditional, which I really like. Like most chinese families, my parents stressed educational when I was growing up. Sometimes I think this is why there is the stereotype of "asians being smarter in school". I think it's because traditionally, chinese families stress education a bit more than others. The bad thing about growing up in a "traditional" family is that living in the USA, I did not experience certain American family activities. My dad never took me fishing, camping, or anything "fatherly". I think that was one of the things I really disliked about him. Growing up, I always favored my mom more. Now that I'm in college, I talk to my dad a lot more when I go back home, including cars, sports, politics, etc. Going home, I'm spoiled with food. My mom is always thinking I'm going to starve to death. Everytime I come back up to Austin, she makes me bring a whole bunch of food. My grandparents(dad's side) also lives very close to me in Houston. My grandparents came to the USA a couple of years before us, which is how we were able to. I remember growing up and laying awake at night, my biggest fear in the world was that I'd lose my grandpa (to old age). It's still my biggest fear because he is been an avid smoker since almost forever. We've tried to tell him to quit and he knows its bad for him, but he just won't. He says he has nothing better to do during the daytime, and to let him enjoy it. He is even said something close to "I've already experienced everything in life. My family is doing good. I have nothing else to live for" Now, don't take this to be a suicidal comment for anything, he was saying it as if it were wise words. On my part, its hard to argue with him. He is my grandpa and I can't really tell him to just stop what he likes so much. Personally, I have a very big problem with talking to people. This problem has been solved a bit ever since coming to college. Since there are so many people around, it's hard to not get use to it. When I'm around people, I'm always worried that what I say will make them think negatively of me. That's why I'll usually always rethink what I want to say in my mind before I actually say it. Funny thing is, my chinese name translated to english is "brave speaker". I know I have a problem with caring too much what others think of me but I just can't help it. Growing up I didn't have that many friends, so I thought to myself a lot and that's still true. Around strangers, I'm really quiet. Only around friends am I a bit more active. And my 20 minutes are up. This was pretty useful. Glad I could type out what I was thinking. Now I got to go get caught up on reading those boring chapters from the psychology book. The lectures are much more interesting.