I'm thinking this is a different assignment and that it is going to be hard to just let thoughts come in naturally, since I am used to having a specific reason for writing. I always shake my leg. Yes, I do it all the time, like it is a nervous reaction. I think I am tense to often, always worrying about what I need to be doing or what I should be doing. I am trying to relax right now so that I am not tense. Stress keeps being the topic of discussions in my classes, Health Promotions, (eeh. my leg is shaking again!) Nutrition and Psychology. These classes seem to be overlapping each other a lot during subject matter. I don't know why I kept avoiding this assignment. I have been putting it off. I think I feel incompetent when it comes to writing. It's not something I would consider myself skilled at. Yes, writing intimidates me. I shouldn't think that I am so inferior. I bet ya'll don't even read these. hmm I wonder if you will read that sentence. Maybe, maybe not. Should I be using proper grammar and punctuation because I really like to go like this yeah I do it all the time when I am conversing over the Internet. The Internet. I'm suspicious of the Internet. It can't be all that good. I spend way too much time online. Just another distraction in this world that leads people away from the important things in life. I cannot possibly write all that I am thinking about, because random thoughts float in and out of my head and I can't type them all. And I forget them by the time I finished what I was typing. Ok. six minutes. I'm suppose to be natural. I don't think I am. I wonder if I should stay on subjects longer, because I really want to. I don't like all this jumping around. I think the main thing is that it has to be continuous. Well, that is easy. I'm always thinking. I think too much sometimes, if that's possible. You know what's been on my mind? I just got back from this scholarship dinner. I have no idea how I got that scholarship. I think they mixed up my name with someone else. I just seemed way under qualified compared to all the other recipients. WOW! There are some amazing people here. Some incredible smart and talented people, and I need to stop feeling inferior to them, because I have my good points also, and I am a very happy person. I'm content with my life. I wonder how many people really are struggling here. Everyone seems like they are just fine and dandy, but you know some people are really sad. People can hide their emotions easily. I doubt thought that a third of the people in my psychology class are depressed. If that is true, than that is very sad. I will admit it; I am cynical of depression. Yeah, sure everything is biological and you can trace it back to that and call it a disease, but really, your mind. that's where you control it. I keep hearing how our mind can heal us and how we think has an enormous impact. Do we not have control over our mind? That should be the one thing we do have control over, and that is where the power is. Is it really incorrect to say that depression is all in your mind? I think not. I guess that I'm not being fair to the depressed people because my life is good. close enough to perfect for me. I am lucky to not have to deal with all the garbage many people have to deal with. I had a good child hood, good parents. No worries really. But, it is not like I've never been depressed. I spent most of my freshman year in high school depressed, but now I look back and understand why I felt that way and how silly it was, and I don't plan on doing that again. I guess, you just have to live and learn. I mean it's ok to do what's wrong just as long as you eventually figure out it's wrong and fix it. Ok. what was that all about? I ramble so much. It's hard for me to have conversations with people because my mind always feels like it's in 10 places at once. I'm tired. I really am. I always feel a little tired. I had a terrible encounter with mono my freshman year in high school. It was horrible, and ever since then I get tired easily. Maybe it's all in my head and I can convince myself that I'm not tired. I should try this. It could be very beneficial. I am already starting to procrastinate. Why? Why is procrastination and epidemic among youth? Hey, I think time is up. I could go on for hours, but I really should get to my other homework. or not.