there is so much to do in my life. I am really really stress out about school. family. friends and boys I don't know why. but the past two guys that I've dated just suddenly doesn't like me anymore I really really wonder every time I think about it. maybe my personality. or maybe my physical attraction and all the want is one thing. and that is what I wouldn't give up well. there is so much to do in school. I have so much homework everyday and I don't know I hate precal. and I have homework in that class all the time and now I have to worry about the precal test on Monday. and dietary analysis do on Friday. and nutrition and psychology test on Monday after that oh my gosh I guess the professors just like to torture us by having due dates and test all in the same day and I have a tennis tryout on Monday. that means I have to skip my psychology class and my tasp thing. gosh. and I don't know why. but I just can't pass tasp I know that English is my second language but I've written so many paper. and I do ok on them but I just don't understand why I can't pass writing part on the tasp this is crazy. and since this is the first semester in ut I haven't got an apartment and so my parents is making me living with our family friends and I really really don't enjoy being with them so. I really really don't want to stay there either. I don't even mind to drive everyday back and forth so why do they care. if the gas money is what they are worry about. I'll go work and earn my gas money and I really really need to study. but you know you have to study in a place to you like but. I guess they just don't understand and also my dad always say. why do you come home anyway. because you are never home. but I am always home you know he is always at work. so he can't say anything but if he just ask my sister than everything is different oh well. my life is going downhill right now. but I guess I can handle it I just wish that I can be a little bit more smarter because. I study but I just don't know why sometimes I still can't get it but oh well and I just got a new car but I just don't want to drive back and forth because that would be too much miles I don't know why I worry so much about my miles either gosh. I really really hate staying in Austin I want to come home but I don't know why they won't let me is not like they have to drive me back and forth I am the one who have to drive oh well life sucks right now but it's all good I can handle this situation but. hmm. school is kicking my butt and I don't have any friends there yet. am I just a loser I really didn't think like that before but I guess I am. am I really not likable because I thought I was before but everything changed when I decide to come to ut. and ut is so big. I thought that I would make friends really really easily. but I guess not. I really really hope that I would do good in school. and hope to find a nice guy and hope that everything will go where they need to go I really really hate my life right now and I am so tired all the time but I guess is because I am not getting enough to sleep. and now. I have to work out really hard because I don't play tennis anymore so I feel so fat all the time but oh well I guess I just have to work harder now