Right now I am sitting in my dorm room. Wondering whether or not I should do this on the word processor. Because this assignment seems so fun that even if the information doesn't get there, I wouldn't mind doing it again. I accidentally just sent you people a blank page because I forgot to scroll down. I really miss home. I have the music on and I keep finding sad music to listen to because it reminds me of my family. I don't think that I will mind this later, but right now, I'm having a bit of trouble adapting to this new life. I am not really too sad, just extremely disoriented. There are only a few people here who I am good friends. Even my boyfriend has changed, and seeing him change (he has been here for three months)makes me wonder how much I will change this year. He even looks different. I think that being in college makes him more attractive, just because he holds himself differently. I wonder if I will look different. I already feel more independent and mature, even though I think that I always have been. Just being away from home gives me a bit of a different perspective on things. People are up here and they are talking about how they are " independent because they are doing their own laundry"! I sit there thinking "what! I have been doing my own laundry since I was in 6th grade!" My parents brought me up, always encouraging me to help myself, meaning that they didn't want me to expect everyone to do things for me. Out of all of my friends, I am the only one whose expenses (personal and what my scholarship doesn't cover) come straight out of my account. My parents don't plan on having to wire me any money this semester, or maybe even the next. I worked this summer and saved my money for that reason. I wanted to make things a bit easier on them. my friends talk about their depleted bank accounts, but even though they worked as well, the only thing that makes use of their money is anything that revolves around their personal interests (aka shopping) I had to buy my own books, a good three hundred dollars that I could have used for something else, even though I probably would have just saved it all, because I love the feeling of having money. It is not just the security, but the feeling of accomplishment, and feeling like I am not just throwing away my money on material things. Even though I always want to shop and I always see things that I want, I never indulge because I feel like if I start I won't be able to stop. But seriously, I really do want some more clothes because I recycle the same shirts in a matter of a week and a half. That could also have something to do with the unbearable heat. It was 113 degrees the other day and I have four hours between classes. By the time I get back from my first two classes, I already feel all icky, so I change shirts. Oh, today I went inside a sorority house. I don't really understand what the difference is between a dorm wing and a sorority. After all, they are essentially the same thing. You get food and shelter and you get to meet a lot of people. It is up to you to build that "sorority" with the people in your wing. But I think the same kind of relationship is possible for girls who are living in the dorm. Speaking of girls, when my boyfriend moved up here, he and his roommate became friends with this girl who I don't like. She is over at their apartment day and night because her friend lives in the same complex. My boyfriend thinks that she is really funny, and I know that he thinks she is pretty because he told me so. It seems like they have more in common than we do. I am a really jealous person and I am really jealous of her. I feel like she is better in every way than I am. She is taller and prettier. And he laughs at her so much. My boyfriend cheated on me once in the very beginning of our relationship, with his exgirlfriend. I think that by nature I am already a jealous person, (WOW Pepsi One is really gaseous because I never burp and this is the first time I have ever tasted it. I just burped out of nowhere) where was I? oh yeah. since he cheated on me it is really hard to trust him. So far he has betrayed my trust but I can't help but forgive him because I feel so much for him. I always looked down on people, girls, who let guys walk all over them. And even though it may seem like that is what's happening, that is not the way I see it. I don't no why. I know that it sounds really naive, but I feel like we are different. Now I know that you should not judge people or assume things about them until you have been in their position. I know that I have been talking for more than twenty minutes, and I really don't like thinking about these boyfriend crises, even though I do it more than I should. Anyway that is the stream of my consciousness.