ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
Goodness gracious! I am so tired of returning to this page that I absolutely don't know what else to write about nor say except for HELP! This is like my fourth time trying to complete this assignment and I am so tired of it but it is to late to complain now so I might as well shut up and continue on writing or shall I say typing. It looks again like I will be going to bed after midnight, I hope not but I do have a lot of assignments that I still need to complete. My most important assignment will be to get organized because going at this rate I will have a hell of a freshman year just trying to keep up. I am doing a little better now with following my syllabus but I still have a long way to go. Maybe when I get a job I will learn how to manage my time more wisely and I will be able to develop better study skills. My fiance' tells me that I have good study skills I just worry to much and stress myself out over small unimportant things that have nothing to do with my classes or myself. To be honest, I do believe that I do get stressed out over every little thing but I think that I am getting a lot better at handling different situations, like this one. My biggest problem is that I really miss him and it is so hard being here in Austin all alone while he is in North Carolina. Hopefully after this year we will be able to come up with a compromise and a solution to all of our problems and concerns. I miss him and I am really looking forward into seeing him in a couple of months. Well, my time is about up and I really need to go so that I can begin to tackle my other UT coursework. I have to make my grades so that they won't make me.
I'm not sure since I've just started College and haven't had any tests yet. I need to be working it my girlfriend has started to grab me and choke me but now I'm getting hungry but wait she started licking my ear and stroking my stomach but is it going to rain today and will I ever get some sleep. Not if I have to keep typing this damn assignment. But who needs sleep anyway I wondering if I have any beers left in the refrigerator and if the born on date is really when the beer was born. Two really nasty people just walked by outside the make me say to myself damn those people are nasty but who am I to judge people for being nasty. My girlfriend just said that I'm nasty but who cares she still kisses me. I need to be working so I can make money to pay for this damn class that is taking up all my time and keeping me from getting any sleep so that I have to worry about being tired at my job and then losing my job and not being able to pay for this damn class which I'll probably make a bad grade in anyway because I don't have enough time to study since I have to work to. Oh I'm wondering if they are going to open the UT Tower again and if some people will find out just how tall the tower is. I don't think it should be opened because if people are stupid enough to jump off the tower, they would have went somewhere else and jumped off something else. It has been a very gloomy weekend that was once again to short. But live moves on sometimes a very slow pace and sometimes at a more rapid pace. My significant other is wondering what I'm typing right now, so I am going to type faster so that she can't read everything that I just typed about 15 minutes ago. Anyway, I'm tired of typing and a fat whale just walked by outside, so I have to go chase her so that I can return her safely to the ocean. Alright then bye know because I've been typing for twenty minutes and I need to go smoke a cigarette.
Last night I had another fight with my mother. Maybe it was not such a good idea to stay home for my first year of college. As far as I can see I have only brought her pain and no comfort. Although she does make several good points about my  unorthodox behavior, ultimately I am a grown man. If I told my friends that she tries to make me come home at a certain time  the result would be ridiculous. Not that opinions and thought of my buddies would really sway my mind, but many of them respect me for where I came from and what I have done. I've got a good job(insurance company $7. 80/hour), pay for my car, attend college,  help my mom at her beauty salon, and still have time to go out and party with them. My mother thinks that my constant ventures  to places she has never been will bring about my demise. Certainly there is no way I can deny about her role in my life. She has always been there for me and lately we have grown even closer, but I dont see how she can try and write my schedule out for me  according to her opinions. Recently our dog had 7 puppies and she spent much of the time caring for them and taking them to the vet. Six of the puppies have been sold, and the one that is left originally belonged to the mail dog's owner who changed their mind about  keeping it. so my mom blames me for not cleaning up after the puppy I dont even want. I tell her to give it away and then she  blames for being a cruel person in that we dont know what kind of person would get it. For a while now I have been looking for a female. And I dont mean just any ol' girl I can get plenty of those. But a lady who I won't get tired of after the first night in bed. There is  several ladies out there who I would like to be with, but for some reason it never turns out to be the way I thought. So I just go on  with flirting' around. Most girls I know think that I except something from them, but I'm simply trying to be friends. I guess thats  the rep I got at Anderson high. Maybe because of the people I hang with. Hopefully I've written enough, and if not here are some more  of my thoughts for the prof to analyze. In college I've tried to have different study habits then high school. In high school I could do  nearly nothing and still maintain a high average. Here I know this can not be done. this of course another concern of my mother. I can not dismiss actual reading and studying as not important at the university of Texas or I might end up with a poor man working for McDonaldss or begging for money on the drag. A few days ago I read (in the psychology book) that in order for your mind  to expand you must exercise it like a muscle. Interesting idea.
I really don't like doing homework. How many hours of my life have been                                                                                                   spent doing homework? I'm sure the  number is unreal. Of course the only time I actually think about mundane things like how many hours I've spent doing homework  is when I'm doing something really boring like. well  homework. Its really warm in my room. I guess I'll have to go down and  get another maintenance request form. There's something seriously wrong with  our air-conditioning which is just not a good thing in Austin, Texas  in the summer. The last time the maintenance man came, he turned the vents down toward the floor. This was his ingenious plan. Great. Needless to  say, that didn't work. So back down to the dorm office I go. Joy of my life. I really wish I was in the mountains. We missed our hiking trip  this summer because we were to busy  showing horses. We went to Canadian  Nationals, but surprise, the horse show was located in the only existing  ugly portion of Canada. Oh well, I'll have to focus on our Christmas  skiing trip and think of the cold snow as I sit in my sweltering room. Well twenty minutes is up. I'm gone.
Right now there is really not much going through my head. I woke up about an hour ago from a nice, long sleep and my mind is clear. I guess I have some worries about school, like am I studying enough and really am I going to make it, but I guess that all depends on my actions. I am also real worried about the social things getting involved with my school work. There is just always something going on, and sometimes it is hard to choose to study over all of the fun things, but so far I feel that I have done a pretty good job, but then again it has only been two weeks. I am enjoying where I am living, and as of now my roommate and suite mate situation seems OK. It is weird to think that after knowing for so long that I wanted to attend UT, to actually be here going to school and not just visiting. It really hasn't hit me yet, but it probably will soon. It also feels weird to have to pick up the phone to have to talk to my parents and not have them be in the next room or just down the hall. And for it to also cost money to have to talk to the people that I am used to talking to on a daily basis. I also have some scared feelings going through me, fears that most people have. For example, you hear all the stories of these awful things that have happened on college campuses and in college dorms, which sometimes makes it hard to go anywhere alone. You are always having this fear inside you that something might  happen to you if you take one step into the wrong direction. That is really scary for me, probably because of things that have happened in the past. When I was in 4th grade my family was robbed at gun point in our house and the threatened to hurt or even kill. One of my sisters and I slept through it, but my parents, my other sister, and my house keeper all had guns held to their heads. No one was hurt, but it was still really scary. then 3 years ago the sister who was asleep with me was out to eat with a friends family and they were followed home and were also robbed at gun point, and had pillowcases put over their heads, but could still feel the gun against their head. In this situation, no one was hurt either. But I am the only one who has never had a gun to me or was threatened, and I fear that I might be the next, and that really scares me. Well, my 20 minutes is almost up, and it went by a lot quicker then I imagined that it would, and I really enjoyed figuring out what to right about. It was really interesting.
Well, this is my second writing assignment to try to submit. I tried Monday and Wednesday, Monday it wouldn't even let me on the site, and Wednesday it teased meit let me type the entire stream, and then erased it when I tried to submit it. So, hopefully this one works, because I can't find Microsoft Word on this PC. I wish I could go to sleep because I am so tired. Last night I went to 6th Street and I had blisters on my feet. This morning, I had to get up and go to work. AND MY FEET HURT. I am never going to 6th again, it is hell! I want to go to sleep, but I am here, writing this. At 2:55 I have to go get my Hep shot, yuck. Then I get ready to work the Matchbox 20 concert. I promise that I am going to go to sleep as SOON as I get home and I am not going to get up until I have to go to work on Sunday. Old Navy did not schedule me at all for next week, normally I would be happy, but I am trying to save up for a down payment on a new car!. My boyfriend, of 8 months got a new truck last weekend, and now I am on a kick too I want a Ford Focus. All I do is get on the Internet and look at cars when I should be studying, because my parents said they would only help me with the car if I did well in school. Therefore, I need to concentrate on SCHOOL. I am such a busybee, I need to do a load of laundry before the weekend rush begins. I am sure sometime you lived in a dorm too it is hell trying to do laundry. Bat5hing might b nice, I am sure that when I was on the bus earlier that I STUNK badly. Oh well, the people on the bus didn't smell to hot either. I have a test next week in my Geography class and I need to study for that too. AHHHHHH, college is all about managing your time and not getting behind. (which I am). I should have listened during all of those sessions about how to succeed in school, because I doubt that I am doing very well right now. I really wish that I could go home next weekend because my mom is going to be in the hospital, she has to have a hysterectomy??? I have no clue if I spelled that right. I think that it would be so sweet if I showed up in Houston and brought her flowers and all of that good stuff. I love her so much and if it wasn't for her I don't know what I would have done. I guess this weekend I will go buy her a card and prepare to go home this weekend. I know that I might not get an hours next week, but that is OK, because I really don't need any money anyway, like I said, I am trying to save up for a new car. Right now I don't have anything going through my mind other than. SLEEP, and food. And a shower, all of the necessities of life. Well my twenty minutes is almost up, only four minutes to go. I am such a slow typist. I hope this concert is worth all of the work, because I am dead tired. I probably should be going to sleep instead of going to the concert but, oh well. It is a great opportunity to see the show for a little work. I am sure that makes sense to anyone, right? My room is such a mess, my roommate and I really need to clean it. Unfortunately, my twenty minutes are up, and I am going to go to BED!
Well, I have procrastinated on doing this assignment for long enough, and so I guess I should start working on it now. It's a thursday afternoon and all I'm doing is staying at the apartment to do this assignment. What a life! These stupid pop-ups keep on coming up, it's interrupting my thinking process. Let's see, I've been up here for about a month now, and I have yet been able to see and fun" that everyone that went here or is going here claim. It's not that I want to be partying everyday, still I would like to see what's all the fuss's about. Then again, my life here at the apartment is great. I live with two roommates, each have their own eccentricity, still without them I would be bored out of my mind. These restaurants around here keep on posting flyers in front of my door- it's getting really annoying. I'm hungry, yet I don't want to go grab something to eat - does that make me lazy? Of course not! It's because I have to sit here for 20 minutes to write this assignment, yea that's it. During the day this place is so quiet, almost everyone that's living here goes to UT, so during the day they're at the campus. Maybe I should spend more time at the campus. Maybe that would help me get to know more people. I haven't made one single friend yet, well besides those people that I see in class everyday, those that I greet with a casual hello; however, I don't think of them as friends, just acquaintances. My computer desk keeps on shaking while I'm typing this, I should have brought a sturdier desk, but then how would it fit in here? This place is so cramped. Luckily, this weekend I'm going back home to Houston to get a bunk bed, and also to see my family and girlfriend of course. I miss my family very much, especially my dad. He have always been the strict yet caring figure that shadows every minute of my life up till now. Now, I have to be on my own, that's the only way that I will learn to grow up. I know he must be worried out of his mind right now, wondering what I'm doing up here, wondering how my health is, wondering how I'm doing in school, wondering how late I sleep, wondering how many times I eat in a day, etc. I know he worries, but the best I can do is call him every night just to let him know that I'm doing fine. I can't go back home, if I live with him, then he will take care of everything for me, then I will never learn to grow up. I miss my mom too, but I'm more attached to my dad because he is the only other male in our family of seven. The buses hear run pretty frequently, I just heard another bus pass by our apartment, this is pretty convenient. My roommate just got home, he is the bossy but cool one out of us. I'm like the normal one, well, besides my random outburst of course. My other roommate is the cool, quiet subtle one. It's always fun to pick on him, but we know our limits. Oh yea, VSA meeting is today, maybe I will get to know more people. Then again, I doubt it because I'm always quiet and reserved so I guess I won't talk much. Well, I'm going to wrap this up because the timer's about to run out. After this, I'm going to head to class, then it's VSA meeting.
I have a horrible headache and I don't want to read for my other classes. My mind keeps wandering off into the conversations on the television. My head itches, so I am going to scratch it. I thing I am going to enjoy the business council . I am glad that I got on it I need to be on a organization. I wan to go to Cancun this spring break but my boyfriend wants me to meet his family in Chicago. I really would  rather go to the beach. I am listening to the television again, even though  it's in the other room, and I hate guys who date strippers and then they tell the girls to get out of it. Hey if you liked her as a stripper before then you need to like her the way she is. I am upset that I am missed the MTV music awards because I love music, if I could anything I wanted to I would quite school and pursue a career in the music business, even though it is so saturated. I just noticed that Victoria's Secret is having a huge sale on pajamas, I could really use some. I am noticing that my mind is shifting every direction. It is difficult to write about nothing and stay on a particular topic. If you gave me something to write about I would be able to concentrate, or maybe I just don't realize that my mind wanders so much. Isn't it like every three seconds. Oh this weekend was so cool I went to a foam party and I had a blast. I was up to my face in foam last night. I have never been to one of those before in my life. I probably would go again too. Because everyone was really mellow and just having a good time. Do Do, I am now singing a song in my head and kind of dancing. I was fascinated at dinner today because my roommate's father was telling all about his experiences with scorpions when her was a boy. I was pretty freaked out the whole way home. I kept feeling like something was crawling all over me. It was weird. I am so bored now, You said to be honest so sorry. I want to go shopping for some new winter clothes that always feels really good, I get so excited when I buy stuff and I look good. Well I need to workout first because I have become a little bit more flabby than I would like to be. My eyes are going blurry maybe I need glasses or else I am really tired.
I am an adult person who has a culture, good background and origins that I'm proud of. I am an educated person who have attended full time school since 6 years old. I've traveled a lot and know lot of things around me. I am a ambitous person and very confident of myself. However, I've been feeling down for the last couple of years, I am not sure anymore where I'm going and what I want to do with my life. I have the feeling of wasting my time and being worthless. I've been living here for 3 years which is long but it seems to me it was just couples of months ago. MAybe because I have not seen any progress in what I have been doing. I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen. I used to be a very active person and very energetic, full of joy and ambitious. But I'm not sick, I'm still a healthy woman, well that's what the doctors say! Sometimes, Ithink the reason is I think too much of the future and I don't give time to the present  and enjoe it. But then when I do so, I feel like I'm wasting my time and I'm not being serious! It's like vicious cercle!!   In the other hand, sometimes I see myself of thinking bad things that I'm not supposed. I try to reject it and take it out of my mind but it doesn't go. Those ideas are like thinking the death of someone I know and who is very close to me, or a bad luck to her, or his,. I really don't wish that but the idea comes to my mind often and always feel guilty of it but I have hard time taking it away.
Why do we even have computers if they are  so slow and crappy and can't hold more than "X" number of people at a time. time. And why can't I put Chip Smart out of business. They sold us a computer that doesn't work worth a crap. We had to replace the sound card and the modem. modem. I am pretty ticked off right at the moment. I don't feel like writing this assignment. I had to buy First Aid 98 to get the new modem to work. It just started working after a long and horrid battle so I am not in the mood for battling for a space on the computer to finish this assignment. Why does this class have to be so complicated in lecture and textbook reading. I don't care about every method in psychology just give me a briefing. I hope you really aren't reading this, because I am in entirely too grumpy of a mood to write anything that makes sense. I can think of nothing else but the immense dislike I have for my computer. I should name it Lucifer. Let me tell you a little about myself. I just got married Aug. 8. Therefore I am thinking about my husband, especially because he just walked in the door of our apartment at Bridge Hollow here in Austin. I miss my father. His birthday was 9-7 and I forgot!!!!!!!  I felt like crying all day. I miss my mother too. Her birthday is coming up in February. (2-5-51)  I truly don't know my father's age. He is older than my mom I know. They divorced when I was 5. After that I guess I lost count. I was adopted  here in Austin at Marywood. I was extremely lucky, because I got the best 2 parents in the whole world!  I truly mean that. I love them. I also miss my brother. He is in the Waco Youth Center right now doing much better. He wants to start working on his career now. He had a hard time with a lot of things, but he sure is strong. He is 3 years younger than me and is learning disabled. He had a hard time in highschool, but let me tell you that when it comes to technical and architectural knowledge, talent and ability, he is awesome. This center will help him get a job at what he is good at and that he will enjoy. Well, as you can probably tell I love my family. More importantly I love God because He sent His son Jesus to die for my sins and because I accept Him, believe in Him, and in return I have given Him my life to use me for His glory. Time is up.
Well then where do I begin. Let's see. I need a haircut. I should have gotten one when I went home labor day weekend. But I didn't. I wanted to go home this weekend, really only so I could get a haircut, but I didn't. My hair is getting entirely too long. At least for me it is too long, I mean I don't have a pony tail or anything but still. I forgot to see when I started writing. Oh well I'll just estimate. I really need to get a cell phone. Of course I would turn it off in my psychology class unlike some dumb asses in there. I mean how stupid do you have to be to not check and see if your phone is on even after the professor tells you to make sure they are off. I suppose they might leave it on once or forget they have it in their backpack or perhaps their friend put their phone in their bag and forgot about it, but it can't help but kind of piss you off when a phone rings in class. All I think is, "what a dumb mother fucker. " Hey look, Microsoft word doesn't recognize the word fucker. Hey it doesn't even recognize the word Microsoft. My head itches. Because my hair is too long. I need to go to the optometrist and get new contacts. I think I've had these for over a year now. I'll probably get them the same color, aqua. Man it is hot outside, it must be about 98 degrees. Not that I am any good at estimating but hey. Like I can't estimate a girls weight worth a shit. Or a person's age. Of course if a guy is smart, he doesn't try to estimate a girls weight. I need to go to the restroom. My stomach is growling. Man my nose is itching too. I miss Jenn. Damn she is beautiful. I wonder if she's thinking about me right now. She is probably in 7th period right now, whatever class that is for her. I wonder if she is pregnant. If she is it's probably mine. Great, just great. I'm fucked. Then again that's what got me in this position in the first place. Speaking of positions, I wish Jenn was here now. I want to go home this weekend. Not so I can go home this weekend, but so I can get a haircut and see Jenn. I wish I had my car so I could just go wherever I wanted whenever I wanted. Then I would probably be out partying and stuff all the time.