ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
I suppose we all get caught up in a web our first year. I wonder sometimes if it is going to be too much for me to handle. I guess everyone feels the way I do. People sure make me feel that they are smarter than me though. I should do well. Why not, I have just as much potential as the next person. This person sitting  next to me now is making me tense. I wonder why. Come on Chris, your a Drama  major, your not suppose to feel nervous. I feel better now that she left though. Man some of these people really type fast. I don't even hear any pauses. Great, another victim sitting next to me. I suppose we are all victims though. I wonder what everyone else wrote on this paper. It feels a little odd. Seems kind of like my mind just rambles on. I guess everyone's does though. I really need to speed up my typing. I used to be so quick. I really have a lot of stuff to do today. Man I miss my best friends. I miss Kelly even though I hate to admit it. It seems like I tell her that more than I tell anyone else. Maybe she is the same way. I know she probably is making up some reason why I don't love her anymore. She is just whiny like that. I wish she wasn't so negative. I'm always going to love her. Too bad she is in Dallas. Ok, somebody turn on the air in here. It is  getting a little warm. I wonder what Bret and Brian are up to. I know Courtney is mad at me but I only wish she knew the way Chad really is. I mean, it is not like I'm the only one telling her to watch out. Ten minutes to go, or is it five? Oh well, I'll just keep pecking at the keys. I really don't want to go to class today. I don't know how people can skip though. That is all I need is to get  behind on all my work. I still have another one of these things to write tomorrow. My classes are cool though. I shouldn't panic too much. Come on, I'm only taking 12 hours. But then, I am just a fish. I'm sure most people feel the same way. I know Micah does. I wonder if he ever goes out and does anything. I'm really surprised that he came to Mihir's party with us. Ahhh, he had a good time. This  city is definitely not Dallas. I hate to admit it, but, I think I like it better  there. I wonder who I will end up together with. I'm lonely but yet I don't think that I want anything serious. Oh what do I know?  12:01, I think I have 4 more  minutes. Whoever is reading this probably thinks I'm nuts. I wonder if someone really is going to read all of this since there is so many students. Wow, the typing is getting better. It is funny what a little practice will do. I wonder if they have a word processor down here. Why does everything have to be online. It might not be so bad if I could get mine to work. I wonder what I am going to do. Oh  well. Yea, finally through.
While sitting on my computer many thougts and feelings come into my head. I have now been at school for alsmost 3 weeks and I can't believe it. School is finally becoming a reality. It has just started to feel like home. I am from out of state and when I came to school I felt like I was at sleep a way camp trying to meet my friends for the next month. It is true I am not at camp anymore. It has been hard for me lately because I miss home. I miss my family and friends. It seemed to me at the beginning of school that everyone new each and I was the outcast. It has been hard finding friends even though everyone is very nice. It is different here because my closest friends aren't here with me. I came from a very close group of friends and we each went different directions. I am ready to meet new people but I want them to be like my best friends at home and that is not gooing to happen. I have to understand that I will become close to the people here at school I just have to give it time. I also miss my family tremendusly. I am very close to my family and try to talk to them at least once a day but talking is not the same a seeing them. It is very wierd not seeing my sister. We are 3 years apart but we are extremly close. Every time I talk to her I get a tear in my eye. The thought of not seeing her for another month makes me very upset. She told me the other day that she felt like I was on a trip and coming home. She tells me all the time how much she misses me and that makes the situation worse. I can't wait to see her and my parents. I have a very unique realationship with my parents. They are also like my best friends. I feel I can tell them anything. The are my inspiratin and my confindence in one. I have had a lot on my ming latly about school I am very nervous about all the work and tests. I feel as though it is going to be a lot harder that high school. It has been very hard to get back into the school mode but I am starting to get back in to it. I have had a lot of distractions latly with the sorority and and tring to meet eveyone to make friends but I realize I have to start putting school in front of all that. I am here for school and I need to start putting effort in to it. I am very dilgent and like to get my work done but I don't want to stress myself out. Even though school is very important I still need to have fun. I need to balence myself. I feel that it might take some time to get adjusted but it will all work out. School has definately been tough but it has resently gotten better and I know it will get better each day I am here. I am so glad that I made the decision to come to UT and experience this great school.
I am sitting here wondering as to why I chose to do this assignment at this particular time. As I search my the thoughts the number one reason I can find is BOREDOM. I am so bored right now, as I have throughout my entire UT experience. I miss my friends, my family, my surroundings, my house, and most of all, my king size water bed. I have nothing against my roommate, my dorm, or this college, but I feel that they cannot replace the friends, accommodations, and schools that I have become accustomed to over the past 18 years. I'm pretty sure that I just used a runon sentence. Five minutes down, fifteen to go. Notice that I spelled out the words "FIVE" and "FIFTEEN" in order to waste. I am wasting this time because I don't feel any need to be introspective. I feel that I know myself pretty well, both strengths and weaknesses, I that I have no need to further analyze my thoughts. I am very surprised how painless that has bee thus far. I'm sure that my high school English teachers would die when if they saw how many sentences I started with "I". Although you can not see this, thanks to the wonders of modern technology, it just took me about eight tries to correctly spell the word "saw". Did you notice that I also spelled out the word EIGHT. It has now been twelve minutes and it is time for a short bathroom break. I hope that this writing is still here when I come back. I'm back. That took about a minute. Sorry. I meant to right ONE minute. I wonder what other people are writing for this assignment. I wonder how many people will try to suck up by complementing the professor, or how many will tell of their dislike for this class? I wonder how many will try to be introspective and artistic, and end up writing free verse poetry? I feel that such people, who think themselves to be deep and philosophical, are the exact opposite, fake and shallow. I feel that my fingers are not fast enough to keep up with my thoughts. As this assignment comes to an end I wonder what I was supposed to have learned, for I feel that I am none the wiser. TWENTY minutes have now passed. The END.
First of all, I guess would be my nervousness about school. There are several things that tie into that. I don't have a group of friends here yet that I can trust and I'm always nervous around strangers. The guy I really like asked me out, but then acts as if he's not interested. I miss home. I miss the "power" of being the big dogs at school. I know that thousands of people have felt the same way, and thousand more will feel this is the future, but it's so different when it's really me. I guess I never thought I would be the one in college. Another thing is that I'm the only person to come here from my high school in three years, so all the friends I have here now are ones I met here. One thing I do like about living here is that I have a opportunity to be my own person. I don't like being judged, and here there isn't anything on which someone could base a judgement. I also like not having to tell Mom where I am going, and stuff like that. I'M INDEPENDENT!!! I have the rest of my life to be alone. Right now I have no idea what I want to be or what my divit is. There are a lot of occupations I would like to try but most of all I want to make a difference. A BIG difference. I'd like to try truck-driving, cattle ranching, and I'd like to work at Disneyworld. Most of all I think I want to be happy. I think that's the most important thing you can do for yourself. Way back in the back of my mind are Hook' Em tryouts, and the fact that I try out this next Friday, and I haven't made up a skit for it yet. That's freshman procrastination for you!! Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed of all that UT is and stands for. It's kind of awe-inspiring to think of all the people that have gone here, it's tradition, and it's links to the future. My kinds could be here one day. That's a lot to be on one person's mind, but hey you're the one that asked.
I love college. Although it is very hard work at times, you learn a lot about yourself and other people. I enjoy being in Austin, although my family lives in Fort Worth. This is my second year hear and so far I like how things are going. Of course there is always bumps on the road, but you learn to get by. Sometimes I miss being home with family and friends, especially because my best friend lives in Ft. Worth. We've been the best of friends for nine years now. It seems like a long time. I have so many memories and I like to dwell in them from time to time. My dog ran away. I just felt like adding that in. I just came home from work and found one of my fish dead in the tank. I don't know what happened, the other two are fine. I just got these goldfish. I guess I bought them because I miss my fish back home. I have six huge goldfish back home. They have been part of our family for almost six years now. They are getting pretty old. One of them is blind, I think, because he keeps bumping in to the aquarium's glass wall. I am enjoying all my classes so far. Let's see if I feel that way once testing time comes around. I am a bio major. I love biology. I think it is one of the most interesting subjects around. It is so complex and always changing. I want to go to medical school after I obtain my bio degree. I am kind of worried that I won't be accepted to any medical school. What will I do with a biology degree? I like to do research, so maybe I'll do that. I have done research in diabetes in the past. My grandmother has diabetes. I believe that is one of the reasons that I want to do research on diabetes. She lives in El Salvador. It is such a beautiful country and they have the most amazing beaches. I visited my grandmother this past summer. I spend a month there. This country is developing so fast; I didn't even recognize the colony I grew up in. Of course there are still some underdeveloped sections, but it seems like it's becoming more industrialized every time I visit. Ok, back to medical school. Being a doctor is what I have always wanted to be. Sometimes I think that there is nothing else I can do. I can't wait to go to medical school and actually work in hospitals. I went to a medical profession high school. We were able to work at different hospitals. We had a fist hand look at part of the medical field. I even got to help in various procedures like suturing, administering medication, giving vaccines. What I enjoyed the most was working in the ER. Sometimes it is very slow, but there are times when patients are coming in left and right. I was able to help bag a patient who had just had a cardiac infarction. It became pretty stressful at times. Afterwards you get a great feeling of satisfaction. I t is a feeling that you have helped someone in a time where they needed help the most. You can never forget that feeling and that is why becoming a doctor is one of the most important things in my life. Besides my spiritual life, a relationship with God, and my family and friends, that feeling you get when you help a person in a crucial point is the thing I want the most.
ok so now I'm writing I'm doing this so I can just juno into the assignment its not very interesting so far and my tyoing is slower than my thinking and I had a completely different thought while I was typing that lst sentence ok now wehat I'm still typing I could talk about myself but it would sound kind of lame. my guitar is out of tune and its missing a locking nut and the pickup selector switch is missing its little decorative cover, I could buy new parts but its kind of depressing right now because I don't have any money and it makes me want to give up guitar even more we played a show last night and screwed up a little more than usual but this guy in the band before us that was pretty good but all the same kind of music pop punk was trying to intimidate me by staring at me it didnt work then but its working now the bass player said we were good but I thiought we were terrible there was no harmony the bass and guitar were out of tune anbd the drummer was playing to a different tune is what it seemed like. the vocals werent so good either. we had to cut ourset by nore than hald wich is especially bad for us sinc we have 14 songs and they are all very distinct, not all pop punk or punk ska but some rockabilly and some primus ounding metal stuff a little emo too. I  forget what else oh yeah like old school punk with the snotty vocals well. anyways my dad got mad because I was supposed to help some guy move and I bailed halfway through to go play the show, playing live is like a drug, this time it wasnt so grreat, but weve playeed about 12 or 13 shows and some have been awesome, the crowd going insane because of us were aboutt o lose it any second just trying to hold on to our instruments long enbough to make the next note come out barely even able to keep our feet on the ground. anyways thats all over now because I have to get a job and go to college and theres no time for it ill find other ways to make myself feel good but that was a grweat one and I know my bandmates are depressed about it too. anyways my dad was mad because I did that and left even though I got the 40 bucks and so he's really mad and I don't even feel at home hre, at home asnd I don't feel completely at home in my dorm so I'm restless and it sucks. anyways so thats the whole of that messs and I'm just ttyping now because that whole thing was like one big brain sigh and now I'm breathing normal again. stop. nothing to say. maybe the brain works like that spasms of thought and then kind of a rest. I guess mr pennebaker would know, anyways I smell cinnamon buns and so I'm going to go downstairs for some brakfast and tension and so the food is going to tase bitter, I sort of awant to fgo back to my dorm but I don't really have any friends there yet. oh yeah I was going to go well that was about 20 min stop.
What would happen without doing these writing assignments, how in the world does the Ta grade all off these papers with so many kids in the class. He would have to go crazy trying to give everyone a grade The view from my window is so drab I wish I lived on the eighth or even the seventh floor so I did not have to look at this wall all day. It is probably a nice day out but I can't tell because of this stupid wall. I need to go to the store. I hope that there is a good game of basketball at the gym today becasuse yesterday was boring, the girls team we played against the other day wasn't half bad, maybe they we show up again today. That girl was cute too, I wonder if she has a boyfriend. That girl down the hall needs to come back from wherever she went. She has the nicest hair. I need a haircut. I think that is the only reason I really want to go home is so I can get a haircut from Teri. I guess I could do it myself, I think I have my clippers, I can never reach all the way to the back. Oh well I really don't think it matters how your hair looks everyone is usually to drunk to even remember your name let alone how my hair looks. I do feel better when my hair looks good though I think it gives me more confidence, Why is that? I sure have a lot of questions. Maybe I should pray about them sometimes that works and with this whole college thing I could use some guidance. Man I am hungry I miss my moms cooking Maybe I should go home for the weekend, I am sure she misses me, I hope. The cafeteria hopefully is open today I think we are down to the last two poptarts and I am sure we ran out of oj and milk yesterday. Football starts next week and we need our lineup for the league, I need to get that email address from Brad to make sure we don't get penalized for being late or something gay like that. I don't want to do that chemistry assignment filling in those scantrons is so tedious and pointless. I can't get rid of this cough, that medicine that I have been taking just tastes good and does absolutely nothing for my chest or throat. I guess this is another day without food until we go to the store because the cafeteria is closed after one on holidays and with my laziness I didn't get up in time. Why didn't I set my alarm?  Breakfast is worth missing one hour of sleep especially when we have no food to eat until dinner. i need to go and check the mail, maybe that girl will have her door open and I can stop and talk with her, I wonder what she did this weekend. Long weekends are awesome. I wish we always had three days off it is so much more relaxing knowing that it is already tuesday when you go to your first class, it makes the week go so much faster. Does the mail come on Labor Day I don't think so but I really need to mail something oh well I guess it can wait until tommorrow.
Well, I'm confused with my computer, its unusually working slowly and it freezes a lot. I gave my computer to my friend Neeraj who fixed the major problem of it. When I turned my computer on it would never load windows and the start up menu would appear. I thought that he broke it because he came from UH up here last week and he clocked my computer from 400MHz to 420MHz. After he left and I tried my computer it would not load Windows and the start up menu would always appear. So this labor day weekend I came home, my parents were shocked to see me because I forgot to tell them that I was coming. But they were happy and kept asking me how college is and giving me tips of not goofing around too much. I also went to eyemasters in West oaks mall there I was very shocked to see my friend Diana who is now a junior in high school but I still think of her as a freshmen because shes like a little sister to me. Everyone thinks she's very gorgeous I now think so too because I never thought of her that way. Anyways she told me her brother was getting her a job there because he works there. But she told me she didn't want to work there because her brither is there and she has to act a certain way and I know what she means. Her brother Wilmot is huge, he's probably 23 yrs old and he goes to UH. Well, I saw her there but I didn't say much, it was really busy I wish I could talk to her but I just said something on the lines of "nice to see you, well bye" I went to eyemasters to get nose pads for my glasses. I use those glasses to play basketball with. But I saw prescription goggles there and that's what I've been looking for, they costed one hundred dollars though, I'll probably get them with my work study money, once I start recieving it. Yeah, I work at Batts hall and I the Jester media center ehich is upstairs. Gary Dickerson is my boss and he's really cool. He smokes and curses and is a gradute  of UT with a 3. 78 GPA!!  I really hope I do well in my first year at UT, my classes aren't extremely hard, but everyones like college is nothing like high school its very hard. Actually I see college as not hard but just a level. You have so much free time, you are 75% of the time out of class. So there;s a lot of time to study an make good grades. The bad part is you can never slack off more than a couple of times, and that's where I see people make their mistakes, I've seen and heard of so many people I know do very bad with horrendous GPA's and I don't understand. Do these people realize how lucky they are to be in college? To improve on certain skills to make incredible amounts of money. Most do but some idiots don't and that's why there all crying by their junior or senior years in college hen they realize they should have chosen their books most of the time over their friends. I know I barely studied and still got good grades in high school, but I know college is a lot different. I have to manage my time wisely and study and do homework all the time and everyday, then goof around over the weekends whenever I surely have free time. Well, my twenty minutes are up.
Right now, I am feeling a little tired, a little overwhelmed, excited, and also a little afraid. I am tired both because of lack of sleep and because of exercise. I am feeling a little overwhelmed because of all the new surroundings and situations that I have found myself in in the last couple of weeks. Its not really that I am overloaded with work (yet), it is just that I am still getting used to everything here: new and different classes, new ways of studying and testing, new teachers and techniques of teaching, etc. I am also overwhelmed with the new social surroundings: a new room, roommate, sleeping schedule, eating schedule, etc. I am excited because I think I am going to enjoy living and going to school here. I am excited about taking courses that I'm actually interested in, and about having teachers that enjoy their profession and know what they are doing. I am excited about meeting new people. One of the things that I enjoy most about Austin is the diversity of the people you can find here. No matter what kind of person you are, you can find someone similar to you who share the same interests and concerns. I have already met some very fascinating people. Austin is an exciting place to live even if you are not attending the University. If I'm not mistaken, it is the music capitol of the world. I could go on for a long time about all the reasons why I am excited. I am afraid mainly for the same reasons that I am overwhelmed. Mostly I am afraid that I do not know how to take notes and study properly. I find myself looking at others people's notes during lecture to see if I am writing down the important things and whether or not I am getting the point. My mom says that in time, I will learn what to write down, read, and study. I have never been a very good test taker. My biggest fear of all is the fact that I have always relied on the one on one attention that I received from my teachers in the past to get me through school. Now that I am attending the largest University in the county, I know that that is impractical. However, I plan on taking all advantages offered to me by my teachers and their aids. With an average of 540 students in your classes, I know that you cannot offer that same oneonone environment. That is my greatest concern.