My mind keeps jumping back and forth between this year right now and like all of high school. I have such problems with sharing people and friends that my mind is constatly taking me back ana forth to times when I've been in sumilar situations. Cheaters are something I end up with a lot when I date people so the idea of sharing male friends is sdcary to me, I feel bad for being jealous of other girls who hang out with my male friends, but I can't help wondering if they are all destined to follow the same pattern as everyone else. My com[puter is broken in my room so I have to use the lab. I can't stand the noise of either bi;llion people typing at once, and the talking girls behind me are growing more annoying by the minutes. Cranky woulsd be a good wor to decribe how I feel. Reelly Really cranky. I don't know why either, so far everything has gone my way, from rush to guys to sports to school (thats what I'm here to do right?) but at the same time I'm being a total crab! I guess it's gets back to that damn jealousy thing again. I hate that part of myself, it's annyoing as all hell and I can't ever seem to get past it, the rest of my life is totally laid back, yet this is the one part that I freak out on. I can't imagine writting straight for twenty minutes. It took me three to write this, so I can't really understand how I can just blaber for twenty minutes. The sosrity girls are all really nice, the party at the delts was okay, ATO was pretty lame, but none of the new ADPi pledgees no anyone so I'm hoping that once we do some mixers or something along those lines I'll know some more people and therefore have more to do at these parties besides drink my ass off. There's an ATO bar-tab tonight at Sidestreet and a PhiSI party somewhere too, but beong a nice friend I offered to stay in with Brad who is walking on to the football team tomorrow, but he's also got three other girls upstairs, there's the jealousy thing again. Yarg. I left my shoes at the house and don't havce any comfy shoes to wear tmomorrow, sigh. The pledge retreat is this weekend, actually more likethis friday and some of saturday, so that'll be fun, but it's a little scary becasue we are all still just getting t knowone and other. I can't go to the first football game because the girl I was surposed to get tickets with ditchedout on me and I don't have a ticket, so going is not going to be possible, which sucks, becuase I really did want to go and get all involved and stuff. Good god, it's annyoing to have al this to do, I can't imagine how much time all these assignments are going to take, between this class and my theatre major-stuff, I have nooo time and am surposeds to join two outside organizations besides my sorority. If I get cast in a show, there isn't any way I'll be able to make any meetingings with any kind of consistency, but I really wantto beinvolved in everything thats going on. I have to do my laundry too. Somethings got to go and that looks like sleep, at least for the first semester sleep is going out the window until I get this grades business firgured out. Okay, ten minutes left. My room smells like stale coffee (true dorm) and chicken soup becasue retard king brad spilled soup on my floor, and we cleaned it up with paper twels, but not like actual soap, so I'm kinda scared as to what might be living under my bed at the moment. I have new momagrammed sheets that I'm way psyched to put on my bed, because they are those totally comfy jersey knit sheets, and I'm all about soft stuff. My room has turned into a pit, by the way, toaly a disaster area. Yuck-ola. My wallet has been getting fatter, but not, sadly, with money, way too many passwordsa nd numbers accounts and figures to rmemeber just to use these damn computers that run WAY too slow for their own good, or anyone elses for that matter. God damn. I tried to go ahead and do the survey so I don't acidentally forget and not doit, but the comnputer wouldn't laod it becasue I was transimiting my social security number and it didn;'t like that at all, so I guess I'll have to find a friend and mooch of them. Bad time to quit smoking. Almost done. The yamm,ering can stop shortly. Found my comfy pants on a non-cranky not, and that's wonderful becasue I could really use some good comfy pants to just lounge around in. My room looks like a laundry basket blew up on the floor and splattered everythingin it's path. My poor roommate, I don't know how she puts up wih all my shit. She just got cheated on and I feel so terrible having been in the same posotion myslef,and I wsh guys weren't such total morons about stuff like that. boohoo hormones. Two minutes left. I can't understnd my TA in math calss. He speaks english about as well as I speak french, and I know three french words. People say numbers are universal, yeah right, try sitting through a math class with a non-native english speaker as your teacher and see how universal they are come finals. Ah! Done.