ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
Well, I hope I'm doing this assignment correctly. I think it might be too easy and that's why I'm having a problem with it! Well my eyelids are very heavy. I'm very sleepy. It's cold in here but I don't feel like getting up and getting a blanket. I really need to do my Chemistry homework also. I'm trying not to procrastinate too much. I'm really bad about that. So I'm attempting to get off on the right foot. I'm bored. I'm looking around the room at my beautiful orange pipe that they installed last week. Just the thought of it makes me angry. I hate typing sometimes because I always hit the wrong keys. Next week is going to be busy. I have to pick E and Ken up form the airport at 2:00 and I get out of my last class at 2:00. As soon as I get back to campus I have to go to a meeting. I hope I'm not late. I don't want to walk in late! I really hate typing! My feet are very cold, I need to get some socks, but I'm not sure if we are supposed to stop. My fingers are cold too. It would probably help if I dried my hair. At least that's what my mom always says. I really need to fix my computer wires. They are a mess! They should put a hole in the back of the desk so the wires can be in the back, but NO that would make too much sense. It has to be difficult! Well I've almost been writing for 10 minutes. Yeah, tem more left! My neck itches. My eyes are getting droopy. That dream I had last night was really good. I don't remember what it was about, but it was good! I wonder why I can never remember my dreams? Maybe I'm just weird. Who knows?. My feet are very cold. I have to get up and get some socks. Ok I'm back. I'm really excited about going to the Matchbox Twenty concert next week. That's another reason I wanted to get this assignment over with. Ooh, I've got six minutes left, I've got six minutes left! Yippee. I guess that's how you spell that. Well my spell checker didn't catch it. So I guess I'm right. I'm not a very good speller, but that's OK. I really want to take a nap this afternoon. I think I'm going to. I'm glad Jennifer's not here. I have the room to myself! That put a smile on my face! I love Cheerios. They are one of my favorite cereals! Ooh, my hair is falling in my face. I hate when it does that. I don't understand why its so cold in here. I hope it doesn't rain tomorrow. I'm excited about going to the game. My hands are cold. I really need to organize my stuff in my room. I'm so glad maintenance fixed my bed! Now I won't fall out in the middle of the night! That makes me happy! I'm sleepy. Maybe it will help if I open the blinds. That blind man in the cafeteria was nice. I wonder what he was doing there. Well my time is up. Ooh, I even went over by a couple of minutes!
So many things I need to get done this week. All of the thinking and remembering gets stressful, but at the same time it's so much fun to be on my own. I had a great workout today at World's Gym. I feel bad that I couldn't do a step aerobics class, but their schedule didn't blend well with mine. Tomorrow I will accomplish more. I think my day and my feelings are dependent on the amount of exercise I get. I love the feeling when I'm lying in bed at night that I ate very healthy and gave my heart a great workout. I wonder if I'll be happiest being a nutritionist. I've never been able to put my finger on exactly what I want to be. It makes me wonder about those people who become something great and recall in an interview that it's what they wanted to do their whole life, since they could remember. Could that actually be?  I know I've wanted to be very successful since I could remember. I've always wanted enough money to buy without thinking twice about my purchase. At around thirteen or so I decided that becoming a doctor was my goal and nothing could stop me. Now, in actuality, it's possible. I've always made the grades excelling in math and science. I do know it takes a great deal more, but I feel I'm moving in the right direction. My ultimate question is, did I set my goal on becoming a doctor at such a young age because of that profession's stereotype?  Doctors have lots of money and great cars, and I wonder if that's what made me so determined?  But, at the same time biology is my favorite topic to study. I have this strong love for the learning channel when they're showing a surgical procedure. Nothing can take me away from the TV. But possibly it's my subconscious telling me that I need to love it?  I think I'm thinking about the whole thing a little too hard. I need to start going with the flow of things instead of always feeling I need to have my agenda totally planned out. I feel so much better if I've sat down and scheduled my next day. Sometimes I follow the schedule minute by minute, and sometimes I don't. It really doesn't bother me either way if I actually stick to the whole thing. I'm noticing my times up and I almost feel sad. No ones probably going to read this whole thing, or maybe not at all. But I now see why people find diaries therapeutic. This is just like having a diary. I like it and it made me feel better than I did 22 minutes ago. Thanks, whoever!
I am sitting at my desk and the printer just finished printing the page of the Austin city limits schedule and I am looking forward to going and Galactic tickets aren't on saLE EVENTHOUGH THE AD SYS THEY ARE AND i DO HAVE LOTS OF HOMEWORK TONIGHT SO MAYBE i SHOULDN'T GO TO SEE bOB SCHNEIDER AT WHERE IS IT AT OH YEAH aNTONES BUT THERE ARE SOME PRETTY GIRLS GOIN G DAN IS SUCH QA WEIRD GUYBUT HE IS VERY GIVING AND HE WANTS TO GO TO lIVE WHICH IOS FUNNY OW MY ARM IS STARTING TO TIRE SI WILL TYPE A SECOND slower oh shit I accidentally hit the caps lock button i hope that is ok luckilky he is just spot checking, my feet are vbecoming warm and starting to prspire so i think i will take off my sandals. when is my mom going to call me back i need that info, she is always so slow if my cell phone rings i will know becausze my speakers start sending feedback, it is weird i hope punctuattion is important uhhh. my coffee is starting to get water down so i am going to drink it and come to think of it i amthirsty so it works out good. that was good i feel like lighting a candle. I lit three and it smells good someone is calling me it is m y friend sean and he is curios what I am talking about so I am trying to explain but he douesn't understand and he wants to know what im doing tonight i told him I don't know then he asked about the football game and whether I had awristband an told him no and he said he had numberf 80 and so i am going to give him my ID instead of my friend John who has83. I thanked him and he then brought up getting 6 ID's of people who arnet going and selling the tix on E-bay but whatever i told him that i call him later and like i said before when he called my speakers went crazy. My roomate is tryting out for the UT lacrosse team and I saw my friend Dookie Dan today and I hadn't seen him in a while my friend Tyler  might make the UT football teAm as kicker thats crazy what to do tonight i have homework but i wqnt to go out what to do. Man am i good at getting beer int this place or what i am thirsty time to sip again. . shit i need to call alex and get them psychology lecture and notes from alex and i should call everyone else early before the concert so they can hear too. I meant to go to class and damnit i shoud have the house phone just rang it doesnt ring very often someone cell is ringing in the living room ha my place is so big and i am in room 420 thAt is funny anyways i don't think anyone knows i am here and it is probably better that way in any case the woman on the phone ws for some survey and i told her i was busy so she wanted to call back so i said fine why am i so nice on the phone #%$^ anyway i still have french to do and i need to do that extra credit as soon asa this is over i am getting out my things to do list and i am going to destroy the list not destroy destroy buit do everythiing that must be done then move on to the less vital things iww my right arm hurts maybe if i move and sit this way it will work better no now myleft shoulder hurts and it is bad for my back almost done and  I am thirsty am I dehydrated no i have been drinking alot of H20
my room seems nice, I mean it's not like home or anything, but the privacy compensates. I wonder what mom and dad are doing. Hopefully we throw the surprise party for mi tia Juany    but anyways, my roommate is making noise by the mirror. it's sort of irritating how she just takes control of the tv when it belongs to me and I turned it on. I simply left downstairs for 5 minutes and I come up to see her lying lazily on her bed with my remote changing the channel, just surfing the channels when I wanted to watch the my show. anyways now that that is out I can continue. yeah, my roommate just told me the milk carton is spilling and now she is cleaning the refrigerator. I went back home last weekend. I bought a couple of books which I want to read, but seem to have no time to do it; I have a ton of class reading. well, biology seems like it's going to be easy, chem. a little work, nutrition just pay attention during class. c. c a lot of reading. my roommate always eats late at night and I'm trying to help her get better eating habits, but in my opinion, she is not really willing or up to getting on a diet or losing any weight. her brother called tonight and asked to talk to me or something along those lines. this is the second time someone has called for her and she then hands the phone to me, like I want to talk on the phone with them. I don't like talking on the phone. I should probably tell her not to hand me any calls unless I'm doing absolutely nothing; I don't like to get distracted especially if I'm watching tv, or doing some kind of school work. she (roommate) just finished informing me right now that the washer and drier are . 75 cents     yeah, I haven't done any laundry since I got here but I can still manage with what I have in my closet. I really need to get some organized all of my books and and papers. well, it would help if I got all my book first. I'm missing one coincidently it's psy, I went yesterday and they have no more. hopefully by tomorrow they do I need to go over there after class. thank goodness I only have one class tomorrow. I have to finish my ch and c. c homework, shower, check mail, write my tuition check. red robin,  I worked there an entire year last year,  too much work for not enough money. my roommate was my superior there, but I worked as well as she did ,and many of times better (simply because the team liked me better)      it's funny that reminds me of the time they were wishing me luck coming over here living with her. don't get me wrong my roommate is a great girl; I've known her since 5th grade. I like her confidence the way she can just talk to someone and say what's on her mind. yeah, they're calling her up to ask her to work this weekend, I'm not working there until the break. yeah, this time around I'm registering for my classes early, so I don't have closed classes like this semester    but I have to admit my schedule is pretty cool this semester, having to move a lot of things around    well time is almost up    so later
I am sitting at my kitchen table right now and I am really frustrated. I am trying to write an English paper and it is so bad. I think I am so stupid sometimes. It really frustrates me when I can't do something perfect. I am also feeling kind of lonely today. I wish I was living at Hardin House because that is where all my friends live. They all seem to be making so many new friends and I just don't feel that way. I am loving college in some ways and in other ways I hate it. I really want a boyfriend. Alot of my friends have been asked to all these pledge lines and I just haven't. Am I ugly?  Am I fat?  Sometimes I just want to know what exactly in wrong with me. I am tired of drinking. Everybody in Austin is an alcoholic. It makes me feel terrible and lazy. It is fun for a while and then the next day you feel like crap. My roommates still aren't back yet from San Antonio. What's wrong?  My other roommate is getting in the shower. I wonder why. I wonder why Bobby Piper hasn't called me. He was my date a few nights ago. He was such a gentleman. I don't think we could ever date though. I am not a very good dancer. I get real nervous when I am on the dance floor. My friends from Arkansas left today. I didn't go out with them last night. I read my friends paper and she was talking about how drunk she was at the time. It kind of shocked me. It was kind of funny though. I think it gives me more self-esteem when guys like me. Is that horrible?  Diet coke is so gross. Why am I drinking one right now?  Should I call my brother?  His girlfriend is so awesome. She is one of my favorite people in the entire world. I love my brother too but he gets drunk too much. I hope he doesnt become an alcoholic. I wish people would come see me. I get kind of lonely sometimes or maybe it is that I don't want to be doing my work right now. I kind of like homework though because when I am done I get a feeling of accomplishment. That is also why I like to run. Because when I am done I get a feeling of accomplishment. I am really nervous about my English paper. I don't think it is very good. I am going to rewrite it now since I gave been rambling for twenty minutes. I need to pray. I wonder if God is always listening. Oh well, I'll stop now.
I am here, miles and miles away from where I started. things are progressing slowly but I can see what I want now. yes for a moment it seems oh so clear and then it fades. it does not matter what I do with my life only that I am alive. anything besides being alive is what the time was like before I was born nothing. I do not fear this nothing however I just know it will be at the end of all my experiences. so I better make these experiences count. there is no resting no relaxing when there are times to be had. I again get distracted though. this body I inhabit continually calls upon me to fulfill its need. if it is not this it is that. but it is the only place my mind has to stay. sure it is a great tool beautiful in a way but I feel the drive to leave it behind. I spend many passages of time trying to discover what feeds the burning inside of me, what will motivate me to take a task to a great level. I want to design I want to build I want to create. a need is present to put something not just something but something carefully crafted out there for others to take in and make it part of their entities. I alone have fed off what others before me have so delicately created and taken it in through my eyes and ears and other senses. all those creations have helped craft the person that I am. so I know it is time to project all this back outwards with a spin that is all my own. and when I do this I must not think about it I must subconsciously perform using the feeling that lay inside me. I have found a companion. we have discovered that when we combine our idea our thought our joy our pain it becomes a thing of greater nature. we are translating our combined impulses into a media, a media that will allow this combination of raw human toil to be available for others if they so choose to spend the time taking it in and seeing if it is a part of them as well.
Well, I don't know, or should I say that I am not sure on much right now. I feel like I've always tried to be good and kind and honest, especially honest. Now, it's not like much of any of those, beause I am not right to Ryan. Oh Ryan, I don't know why I have done and do the things I do. Some people aren't right in your life. Ryan's right because he is comfortable. Others are old and dirty and uncaring. Yet, I am still spending all this time and energy on them. Not thinking much of myself, am I?  Do I? Will I ever? It's like I always have the right things all planned out--like Nathaniel tells me--but I never have the confidence to follow through with everything I dream or how I want or wish to be. I want to be strong and I don't want to be taken advantage of for the rest of my life. I want to be pretty and I want to be skinny like I was when I was fifteen with long brown hair. I can go back to that. I just have to run, run like I did and eat much less. I have a perfect vision of what I want to be but I always set myself up to fail. I won't follow through but I must. I must be honest with my feelings toward Ryan, not honest with what happenned, just with my feelings because I do care about him. I do. I don't want to hate myself right now. sometimes, someimes when I'm alone with my thoughts I think too much about all of it, I feel dirty, dirty and ashamed, and all I want is someone to hold me and tell me that they know and they still care and they still like me and they want to be there, that's what I thought Greg was or is. critical though. He can be so critical, but he said he called--called like he nevercalls anyone he misses. He missed me enough to call me. more than I thought I would. we said more than we thought we would greg and nathaniel make me want to be a better person. I always want nathaniel to see me in the right way--he knows, greg too, they still care. But I am always like that questioning whether anyone does. maybe the thing will work and I will be happy- not eat more. iam afraid to eat more, but I probably won't if I do it right. But I want to get all nice looking for when I seee greg at Christmas. I want him to think I am pretty, he will, no more diritness-- it's ending soon, but I have to get the pictures back. I remember Saturday night. I couldn't even close my eyes or lay by myself. trouble sleeping. i had to go ly next to my mom . she cares she really does. I don't care what they say about her or think about her there's a love and care in her. she's really concerned about me. she wants me to get better. I'm trying. she doesn't know the dirty things--she has a nidea, but in it all she doesn't care she still loves me. I wish I could hug her. go back this weekend to houston like you always, do Chrissy. try to be happy, think of others and fufill what you want of yourself be everything you want plus some-- now that's pretty.
Today has been such a long day. I am not a big fan of tuesdays. Physics makes me feel so stupid. I feel like everybody else knows exactly what he is talking about in that class except for me. This is kind of weird writing to a computer about my thoughts, kind of like an online journal. I really need to start writing in my actual journal every night. I did last year, but ever since I got here, I just haven't made the time everynight. Kristen and I have been getting along great. I think we are going to be great roomates. I've been thinking a lot about me and Patrick a lot lately. I'm not sure if I can handle another 2 years of him living in Dallas and me in Austin. I know we've done it since March, but I think it is getting harder. I wish I knew how to type. I think my entry is going to be 1/3 the length of Kristen's, but I guess it doesn't really matter. Man I've got so much to do tonight. I need to read for psychology, interior, art history, and figure out my physics homework before Thursday. My mom and I have been getting along really well lately. I think we are going to be much better friends now that we don't live under the same roof. I'm not sure when I'm going to be able to go see my grandparents. Gosh, I haven't seen them in forever. Maybe i should go somewhere to study tonight instead of trying to study in my room. I never feel like I accomplish very much in here. What really stinks is I can't read my art history anywhere else but in the room. those stupid reserves just won't print out right. I guess I could try that adobe business that girl was talking about during class. I'm not sure if I'll have to buy that or iff my dad could just put it on my computer off what we have at home. I can't wait to watch Friends later. It's been fun lately because they've been playing a season that I've never seen. It's always the small things that make me the happiest. Oh no, the phone is ringing. i guess the will just have to wait for 3 more minutes. It was probably Kristen at the grocery store. I'll just call her back in a second. i'm glad tommorrow isn't as jam packed as tuesdays. I couldn't take two in a row. Now my cell phone is ringing, what's up?
I don't really know how to start this. I'm not sure what I'm thinking. It's so hot and I'm so tired. I wish I could have watched the baseball game yesterday. People on the Emmy's give the stupidest speeches, I really like Noah Wiley. I wish I knew who a l;ot of the poeple who come up there are. I shouldn't have this on while I'm doing homework. I can't believe it took me so long to figure out Wilma Flinstone today at the picnic. I wish I had met more people and that the cute guy was there. It's 9:20, I need to go to bed early. I hope my alram wakes me up in the morning. I keep correcxting my spelling and I'm not supposed to do that. Those girls always play Dave Matthews, at least it's Dave Matthews. Maybe I should close the door. I think the people in the dorm think I work all the time. I hope the weird guys don't by to see Clare. I wish my room didn't look like this I'm so tired of it. two weeks into school and I'm tired of my room. twenty minutes is too long to do this. my watch ticks so lloud. I wish it would tsop, it's driving me crazy. Why is Clare's computer sneezing. The closest door is open, its bothering me. I should close the closet door and the otehr one. Why do we leave our door open so much. They tell you to lock it when you're in the room. We are going to be killed in our sleep actually we lock it in our sleep and leave it open when we're awake, so I don't think we'll be killed in our sleep. Clare's back. Clare's reading what I write. My concentration is broken. I can't do this, this is os hard. I don't think I'm thinking of anything original are thinking like I usually think because I know I'm supposed to be thinking. I wish frasier had won the emmy. What do I have this song on, I know I have it. this is do hard to do. I cna't think of anything when I'm supposed to be thinking of stuff. What cd, do I have this song on. I really wish that I could look and see what cd I have theat song on but I'm doing this and I still have ten minutes, no maybe 5 finutes left. I started at 9:17. I ahve five minutes to write what I'm thinking but all I'm thinking abbout is what to write, or what to think. Clare's killing her sheep. The one on her computerthat's sneezing. oh, I'm not supposed to do that, explain what I'm thinking. This is so ahrd. Who's that author who writes in stream of consiousness, I hated reading that book. what was that. james joyce. I wish my computer was faster. I really want a new one. buti don't want to ask. Clare says its faulkner.