I figured that I would put this assignment off a little more---or at least until my thoughts were more collected, but I now realize that they're am as collected now as they're ever be. I think about all that I have to do, assignments in school mostly, but I am also busy thinking about a certain person all the time. I suppose I'm going through sensory overload right now. my brain is working at a million miles an hour to keep up with the information that is being put in as fast as possible. Then there's that person I mentioned. I am confused about a certain guy that I really like. Sounds so tyipical, right? I will have to put those thoughts aside until school is over for the day. I am pretty unhappy with a lot of people that I have met at U. t. They are so interested in having a good time, all the time. Drinking and sex outside of marriage, namely. I ate lunch with an old friend that I haven't seen in a long time, and all he talked about was partying, and the like. I don't drink, because of the law (I'm 18), and I don't believe that anyone should get drunk because that's what the Bible says. Life seems so messed up. I'm not depressed about it, but I am bothered by what I see in the world. I feel a sense of hopelessnes about me, and I know where it is coming from. It started with the fall of man in the Garden of Eden. God has given man over to his wicked desires, and this means that unless God sends revival, things will continue to get worse. Also, I have been reading about the Clinton administration in a book entitled Unlimited Acess, and I think, "If this is what our president is getting away with who CAN we trust?!" Of course, I don't put my faith in things which are seen, but things which are not seen. God is in complete control, and no matter how bad things seem, he will take care of His people. Some day, all of this--including the computer that I'm typing on---will burn up. God will come back to gather His elect and the those who are not will burn in the lake of fire forever. this is such a scary thought, but when you think about it it makes perfect sense. God's gift of salvation was totally voluntary on his part. He doesn't have to save anyone. We all deserve damnation because of our sin. We sinned in Adam. But in God's incredible mercy and love he sent Christ as a propitiaton for our sins that we might not perish but have everlasting life. Oh, that I might be found among those names written in the Lamb's Book of Life! I'm a terrible sinner just like everyone else. I struggle with the same problems that everyone does. But I keep coming back to the cross and pleading the blood of Jesus. I have no inate merit. My righteousness are as filthy rags. It is insane to think that one can somehow work their way into heaven. The Bible says "Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy He has saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and the renewing of the Holy Ghost. " Jesus is our only way to the Father. Not our pitiful attempts to earn our salvation. Jesus said, "I am the Way the Truth and the Life. No man comes to the Father except through Me. " You have to come to God (it is clearly taught in the Bible), but you can't unless God makes you come(also a clear teaching. "No man comes to Me except the Father drag him. ") That leaves you in a particularly strange situation. You have to come, but you can't. I pray about that one a lot. Well, those really are the things I think about. I'm a Christian, and I live in constant awareness of my Creator.