ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
first of all I don't have set prison like rules and regulations. the classes are a lot more laid back and I can do self paced. high school was much more busy work which was crap. I am worried however about how well I do in college. although I did well high school, college is much different. rather than burning the info into you through busy work and assignments, we have to learn on our own. everybody says that they learned more their freshman year than in all of high school. seeing as how I cram all my assignments into the night before it's due, I plan to change dramatically on how my work is done. the influence of my friends also worries me. because of the many groups of friends I don't think I'll have much time to do studying or productive work. I am hoping that by writing all of this down, I am able to recognize my weaknesses and change them before they do any great harm. since this is stream of consciousness I can't help but write about the catcher in the rye, one of my favorite books. since I'm in psychology, I hope that doesn't mean that I'm going to assassinate any powerful people. the book is great written in stream of consciousness and I feel many of holden's feelings. such as the phoniness in society. the phonies in society really piss me off!  back to college, I hope that I can discipline myself and succeed in college. right now I'm listening to red hot chili peppers. I don't know what that tells about me, but I love their older songs. I can make disappear have no fear! music is my airplane, is my airplane. rrahhh!  four more minutes. I don't know what to write. I have so many thoughts but they're not organized. sex of course is on my mind, and since it's the first day of class, that's on my mind. the crazies passing out the Christian leaflets is also on my mind. it really pisses me off. not that their spreading the word, because I'm catholic. what pisses me off is that they're so hypocritical. they go out preaching but then turn around and drink it up (under age) and sleep around (pre marital sex!)  that disgusts me. although I do drink a little, I don't go out preaching. many of my friends are atheists and agnostic. I view many of their views such as religion's role in being a social and moral standard. after all, if there was no fear in sinning  then crime would skyrocket and the moral stability  of society would disappear. while that is true, not all will revert to barbaric life. while there are laws, religion adds more to the discipline in obeying the basic commandments. we've had hours and hours of discussion on religion and god. from these discussions I see that many misinterpretations of the catholic faith exist. for example, many believe that (through the narrow-mindedness of the teachers of their religion) that Catholics worship Mary when in fact we pray through her. they see that as a way of discrediting Catholicism by pointing out verses in the bible stating that "thou shall worship no other god than me"  or something like that.
I feel really good today because it is my birthday. I'm looking forward to being with my friends later on today. I'm thinking about tonight because my fraternity is having a match with the ZETAs. I'm pretty excited about it because they are the hottest girls I've seen so far. I kind of would like to go home though and see some of my friends back home. A lot of them are making trips back home this weekend to see some concert. I also would like to see my family on my birthday but I am sure I will see them soon. I don't really know what else I should write about except my birthday because it's all I have been thinking about this week. I plan to go pre party after I finish this writing assignment. So far I am loving it here in Austin and am really glad I chose to come school up here. The size of my classes is quite a surprise and something I just have to get used to. I really enjoy having all the freedom here compared to back home in Houston. I wish I had more time to just hang out but I stay really busy lately. Being a pledge in a fraternity really can be time consuming but it is worth it. I've met so many people these last three weeks and I'm sure it will be the same for the rest of the semester. Now I'm beginning to draw blank and can't think of much to write. Oh well, it's not like anyone will actually read this passage. I've got five minutes left on my time. I am so glad to be out of high school. College is much better though there is a lot of work to be done. My date better look good tonight in her eighties outfit for the party. The theme is an eighties prom but I just went got some clothes that look like their from the eighties. I can't wait to see what other people are going to be wearing. Well time is up.
It's 11:18 at night. I'm tired, and I hate doing homework. I don't want to do homework. Homework is EVIL. Studying is evil. School is evil. All I want to do is be on the internet and surf, chat, and download. MP3s. You can never have enough mp3s. This Ethernet is so fast! I love it. That's the only thing I like about college. The computer has made me antisocial. I don't need people, just need my computer. Haven't really met and made many new friends. Why? Because I'm always in my room. Because I'm always on the computer. I choose it over other things. Things like studying. Pikachu is lonely. He's sitting on my bed all by himself. Just sits there. Jester food is disgusting. I don't like it, but sometimes you have no choice but to eat it. Nasty. Kinsolving is better. Eating in my room is good. I have better food in the closet. I mean, jester food isn't as horrible as it sounds, just that it's so fattening. Just about anything on the main course menu has over 50% of the daily fat intake. That's way too much. Worried about calculus. I hate math. Got really bad teachers for math in high school, so now I'm paying the price. I wish I had better teachers. Wish the room was colder. Still got to study tonight before I can go to bed. Got to study calculus. Have a quiz on Thursday. And a chemistry quiz too. It's so hot outside. I don't want to go out. Adding on to antisocialness. It's better at night when it's cooler. I like it cooler. The internet is so fast. I think I will live on campus next year just for the Ethernet access. Sounds like a stupid reason. But it's reason enough for me to stay. I hate working out. It's hard work and I sweat. Is the 20 minutes up yet? I don't think so, almost time. Hahah. Then I will be done with this evil homework assignment. I'm tired. I want to sleep. There's a stupid paperclip on my screen. I'm in word right now because my spelling sucks. And I don't care. The computer takes care of it for me. Told you the computer is a great great friend. Who needs real people when you have the computer? I've never eaten ants before. I don't think I want to eat insects. Survivor was a good show. I tried to watch it every week. I liked summer. Did nothing. I wish it was summer again. I got post it notes in the mail today. I am happy. Stupid people complain to me about stupid things like hurting feet. Food is good. School is evil. It's the devil! Ok! Yay! My time is up. Good bye.
Typing, what I feel, boy that is kind of odd. Not to often do you get an assignment where you just write, write whatever you feel. What am feeling right about now. I mean, I just got back from my Economics class, with Mr. Hammerhesh, or as he says the "Hammer. " It was a crazy experience with some few hundred people crammed into his class. Yesterday was an eye opening experience with one of my classes having 500 + people (yours, and then two of my teachers speak limited, and I do mean limited English. What a day, at good old University of Texas. Chris Farley, I just thought of him, because I watched a DVD of his greatest hits. Farley, to me is one of america's greatest comedians, because no matter what he was doing, he made the viewer laugh. truly an outstanding comedian, with a heart the size of Texas. Unfortunately like many other great hollywood actors, comedians, and musicians, he too became inundated with drugs and alcohol. Like one of the characters he plays, Matt foley, he played with life, and life came back to bite him, and instead of living in a Van down by the River, he is living in a casket down by the prairie. So much to do, and so little time. With all these clubs an activities and class schedule, college seems like one big whirlwind. With only moments here and there to catch your breath, and sit down to relax. Which organization should I join? So many options to accept, with so many good looking ones, but which ones to focus on. In high school, I did everything, and being in charge of a lot of them I was able to schedule each event around the other. But now, I am just another tadpole in the great lake. Phones are ringing, but no one is singing in my crazy packed dorm room. the twenty minutes is running to end. You would have thought I would type more in twenty minutes, but since this whole streaming typing is new to me, I guess I did a good job. Anyway, at least I did not copy a tv repair manual in this box and put it in. ;) Well, it's on to lunch then on to many other fun classes, some immunizations, and a bike ride. But before I go, I would just like to say that Apple computers are the greatest computers in the world. And, no I am not some sort of Computer guru, I just think that Apple computers are the easiest, coolest looking, and highest performing computers in the world. And, that my friend, is all I truly have to say. Thank you, and please, have a good day.
I am sitting in front of my computer in a small Jester dormitory. I look around and I notice that the room is a complete mess. I take a deep breath and I can smell something funny. That's right, that's how Jester rooms always smell like. I am feeling pretty full right now after a eating a delicious sandwich from the Jester City Limits. The room is nice and cold, unlike the hot and humid weather outside. My roommate is out of the room right now, so it's a little quieter than usually. I am playing some music on my computer right now. Besides the music coming out of the speakers of my computer, I can hear occasional chatter and doors opening and closing in the hallways. My roommate walks in after eating at Jester City Limits. I say hi to him and how his dinner was. He notices something weird as I read out what I am typing. He asks, What the crap are you doing?"  I respond by telling him that this is for my psychology class. I turn my attention away and try to think of what to write next. I am sitting upright in an uncomfortable wooden chair that came furnished with the room. I uncross my legs because my left leg is starting to feel numb. I hear someone using the blow-dryer in the bathroom, which is right outside of my room. I look up at my bookshelf and see all my textbooks. That reminds me that I have lots of other homework to do when I finish with this assignment. I have a strange anxious feeling because I am a little behind in all my classes, especially with reading the textbooks. I think about how I have missed three morning classes already, a quiz in one of those classes, and I get an awful, guilt-like feeling because I don't want to do badly in my classes. Maybe I should go to sleep earlier tonight, for that matter, every night. I notice my computer's processor making slight noises as I am typing. I take off my glasses because I only need them to read. I look back up at the bookshelf and remind myself how much work I still have left to do. I notice that I have been shaking my right leg. Maybe I have been doing this the whole time?  Some sort of a nervous habit I guess. I feel a little pain on the surface of my knee. I reach down and touch the band-aid covering a wound that I suffered from playing soccer at Clarkfield last night. And the twenty minutes is up. A pop up says that I can keep on writing with my stream of consciousness. Does that mean that I should just finish with my train of thought, or should I keep writing more and more?  Maybe that would help me get a better grade on this assignment. Ok, I am going to just stop and press the "Finish" button.
No what do I write about?I'm typing in a computer lab,and I'm surprised there are only a few people in here. It is cold in this computer lab. It has gotten a lot colder in the past few days. I have a quiz in chemistry and I need to study. My roommate must be wondering where I am. Its really different in college. I have a meeting at   7 tongiht, I need to study for my quiz. THere is a bunch of paper next to my desk, I wonder who left it. The girl next to me is typing a paper, and another girl just walked in the computer lab. She is wearing a red shirt. I need to eat before the cafeteria closes. It closes really early. The computer next to me keeps turning on and off by itself. Someone else walked into the computer lab. He is wearing a blue shirt and jeans. The screen of the computer to my right is green. The room is starting to feel colder. I need to get my jacket. There are noises outside the lab, it sounds like a bunch of girls. I just submitted my math homework and made a 100. I wonder  if I misspelled any words in this. I am feeling overwhelmed as I think about all the quizzes I have thursday and friday, and I still haven't gotten my calculus book. I started to feel sick today, maybe because of the change in weather. I need to get some sleep. This room is really quiet. I see people walking outside of the computer lab. I wish I could go home this weekend. I kind of miss my family, but it is nice here too. I really like my apartment, I need to wash dishes. Someone left the computer lab and knocked something over. Someone walked in with a green shirt. I wonder how to drop this yoga class I was put in. Maybe I could stay in it. It might be easy. I feel really stressed about school, I hope I can get a 4. 0, I really like my biology and chemistry and psychology classes,they are interesting. Only 5 more minutes. I need to run tonight. Its getting darker outside. Its almost 6. THe cafeteria closes at 7:30. I'm feeling tired, but I have so many things to do. and I need to get some medicine. I wonder what my roommates doing, probably watching tv. Real Worlds on tonight. I wonder what my quiz will be like tomorrow. I hear people talking outside.
Right now I am sitting by the phone debating on whether or not I should call this guy who is both my friend and currently the guy I have a crush on. He lives in Katy so I miss him a lot. I also have this nervous/excited feeling. I can feel my heart race. I tried calling earlier and talked to his dad - I think. I don't know what to do! My roommate just walked in and smells nice because she just took a shower - reminding me that I still have to shower sometime tonight. I keep thinking about all the things I still have to do tonight - like shower, read for journalism, read for art history, back my bag, someday soon wash some clothes, and maybe clean up a little. Just random things but I don't have much time because my roommate goes to bed early and I/m such the night person. Getting up is a pain in the ass though. Those 8am classes are hard. I'm so tempted to skip but I never will because school is important to me and especially my parents! What a mess of papers on my bed!  Too much to do and too lazy to do it. I just thought about my email. I love email. I check it all the time and am so disappointed when there is nothing new. I had a crazy email crisis this morning. I hit the wrong key and sent all my mail and a folder to the trash can. What a scare!  I recovered it though but was almost late to art class. Now I can't help but think what to write next. I am still thinking about the phone as time goes by because I have to call - if I am going to call - before 10 pm. I guess I won't call tonight because it will probably just stress me out or bother me. I am done with class by 12:30 tomorrow so I will call late in the day. I miss him and worry about him and so desperately want to see him. He makes me feel so comfortable and always makes me laugh. I can't open up with many people as easily as I can with him. I miss him and wish I could might more people like him. I just don't know where I stand with him and I wish I did. I worry now that time to stop approaches if I said enough because I type rather slow but I did put honesty and effort into this. It is weird opening up for this assignment.
Right now I am sitting at the computer feeling very good that I am finally doing this assignment. It had been on my mind ever since it was assigned. I can't wait till I am done. Because I know I will feel a sense of accomplishment . Ever since the lecture on Tuesday every time I think I can picture that video we saw in class where the part of the brain was warming up or so called cooking. I imagine my brain is cooking right now trying to think of what to write next. Earlier today I found my emotions changing alot today and I tried to figure out why they changed so much at one point I was extremely shy and the next minute I was outgoing. Right now I feel very comfortable with myself and extremely confident. My thoughts are going every which of way right now. Because I feel pressure to do well in school from myself and my parents. I really would like to please them and show them I am responsible and smart. I feel as though it is not me right now. I find it truly fascinating that my mind is coming up with some of these things right now. I find it really intriguing. Now even after going to class I really feel like hearing the lectures really has made me realize alot of stuff I had not noticed before especially trying to feel what I really feel not what I just think I feel. It just occurred to me that I have not looked up once to see how much time has gone by. I could write this for a while just tracking my different thoughts and feelings and emotions. When I mentioned something earlier about my parents and how I wanted to impress them. I pictured my parents and started having feelings of love because I know they are there for me if I need them. I never have stopped and traced my thoughts before until now. I am wondering now if the tests are going to be hard in this class. I feel pretty hungry right now so I can imagine my stomach relaying something to my part of my brain telling me it is time to eat. I wish I could get controller the part of my mind that controls addiction because I sure would like to quit smoking. I feel as if I have no control over it anymore. When I smell cigarettes smoke. I feel my mind say wouldn't it be nice to have one of those. I guess quitting smoking is telling that part in your mind no and to be stronger than that. That was weird how my mind suddenly brought up smoking I guess because I know I have to quit because it is so bad for you. Well thats time I really enjoyed this assignment.
I thought that this writing assignment was going to be difficult, but it's actually not that bad. Actually, I kind of like it. It's kind of like writing a diary or journal. I feel hungry right now and am wondering what I am going to eat for lunch. I am tired of eating the same food at Jester again. The food there is always the same: pizza, chicken, burgers, etc. I can't wait until I go home to Dallas this afternoon and eat some real authentic vietnamese food. I miss my mom's cooking. Just a few more hours and I'll be on my way back to Dallas. I can't wait!  I miss my boyfriend so much. His birthday's coming up and I still need to get him a present. I don't know what to get him. It's hard for me because I don't have a car at UT. I wondering what he's doing right now can't wait to see his face. My friend just burned a new DJ cd that just released and some of the songs are actually ok but a lot of it is not that good. I miss my family. Its funny how when I'm at home I wish that I was away from home because my family tend to annoy and get on my nerves at time, but when I'm actually away I wish I was home. My roommate just finished talking to this guy she's dating. He calls her a lot. It's funny because that's how it was with me and my boyfriend when we were 'talking. '  He would call me all the time. My friends are studying in my dorm right now. I feel so lazy. I'm behind in a lot of classes and I havn't been doing a lot of studying this week. I need to push myself to study before I screw up my GPA again. Speaking of school, it's only my second year in college and I wish that it would over. I mean I like college and all like the friends you meet, the parties, and the school spirit. I just hate classes and studying. My friend is singing right now and it's so hilarious because he has a monotone voice and when he sings you can't tell that he has a monotone voice and when he sings its like he gives it his all. Its so funny. By the way the DJ cd that we burned is called DJ Prada G. It's like the DJ is trying to make his name unique like making it sound like 'prodigy' but spelled differently. Hmmm. Twenty minutes sure is going by slow. I have an ortho appointment this Monday so I'm going to miss calculus which is'nt too bad because I can borrow the notes from my friend. I need to go shopping this weekend; I am so out of clothes to wear. Five more minutes. This assignment isn't too bad. When are we going to eat?  I need to start packing. I am such a procrastinator, I wait till the last minute for everything. I need to stop that. I wondering what my boyfriend's friends are going to do for his birthday this weekend. I have a feeling that they are going to get him drunk. We are about to leave for Dallas soon since one of my friends decided not to go, so we don't have to wait for her. When are we going to eat?
I do not feel well at all, I wonder if it was the tequila from last night or worrying about a girl. Sometimes I don't know why I am still with her. Can you still have feelings for someone that you find annoying? Why am I doing this Writing Assignment now my stomach and head are killing me. I should have tried to pawn it off on one of my roommates for ten dollars or something because who wants to right about what "they" think, I'm more interested in what other people think about. I mean I alrdy know what I think about, its boring to me, what about the people I don't know, what do they think about, that's what I want to know. I know that girl down there is thinking about something, some psycologist needs to figure out how to read girls, that's what they should be working on, why learn about depression, figure out what girls think about. Honestly, I don't think a single man can tell me what a girl is thinking at any given time, half the time they hate you other half they love you and it can switch just as fast. What's the deal with that!  I am still feeling bad my stomach won't stop hurting, I think I need to get something to eat. I need to get feeling better cause I already have plans for tonight, and it sucks going out when you don't feel well. When I go out and I don't feel well, I get extremely annoyed with everyone that I am with. It's probably because they are having more fun then I am. I have noticed that school is obsessed with talking about politics, in every class I go to we talk about Bush and Kerry. YES, 3 more minutes to go on the assignment, but too much politics in my opinion half the time it has no correlation with the subject at hand. In my Spanish class we had a 30 minute discussion about economic poilices, how does that help me with Hola Como estas? This assignment isn't bad, its like the people that have journals, who put there mind on paper.