so , i am supposed to write what i think. thats sorat hard, because everytime you think a thought, it has disappeared by the time you have finished wirrint it. but at the moment i would like to talk about the one thing that is on lmy mind: my mother  yes, she is my mother, and yes, she is extremely overprotective. but i am in COLLEGE now . that is a wee different than high school in the sense that you have ot be. o whats the word. . independent   will do. yea you have to think for yourself, stand up for yourself, be yoursefl. except if your mother is preventing you from doing that, what are you supposed to do? if she doesnt let you come home later than whatever time she setss (which by the way is not very late at all) then you are basically in 9th grade again. do this, do that. and the worst part is, she never directly states what is on her mind. she starts out by asking questions. where were you all this time? i was worrying? why didnt you tell me?  i did ma. i don't remember  well thats too bad . i have to go tomorrow as well  where? when? till what time?  who what where when why and how, she might as well be a journalist. she instilled morals and values on me. doesnt she trust her own upbringing?  doesnt she trust me?  trust is anothe issue and overprotectiveness is another. or at least i think she is being overprotective. maybe to her indian standards she is extremely liberal. maybe. but this isnt india! this is the us, land of freedom. not that i'm going to go off and elope with some pierced stranger. i just want some privacy, some freedom. and most of all i want to move out. that in itself would solve so many problems. first of all, i wouldnt have to listen to her critisizing me one moment and loving methe next. she also would be liberated from my constant bickering and un called for interruptions. i wouldnt be too far away and yet not close enough to be distracted. everytime i try to study, she comes in every 15 to 20 mts. unless of course if she is taking a   nap   of 3 hours or so. but i feel guilty. i feel guilty for the way i am thinking. she deserves that nap, every second of it. if i worked as hard as she does, i would be half unconscious by now. but she finds time for a full time job, for being a single mother, for paying bills, for making food, for everything you would want a mother to do, as well as everything you wish she wouldnt do. she is the epitome of motherhood, in all its glory and grime. she has her pro's and cons, and i love her for that. but sometimes she can be a real pain.  enought about her, i still have 12 minutes of writing left. what can i write about. lets see, college. yes college is most definitely on my mind at the moment, because i am doing a college assignment. i also have a bunch of homework to do after this and it is already 10 pm. i am not too good at doing all nighters. the latest i have slept is 5 am. and that was not study related. that was lets have a girl cousin talk thing.  but that aside, college seems to be hard, but not as hard as i had thought it to be. i am not completely clueless as to what is beingsaid in my classes, but at the same time, i am quite amazed at the amount of reading that has to be done. its not the reading actually, its the note taking that is required in intense detail and that takes up a whole lot of time. i am trying to think of what to think and it isnt working too well, so i'll just write about my family. well theres my brother and i could go on and on about him. personally i think he's a spoiled brat. he has as much potential as his fourteen yr old cerebrum can handle, but that potential is over ridden by his spoiled bratedness. he is plain spoiled , by my mother mostly. when i was his age ( now why does that sound so familiar. . i am not that old, am i?) i was super disciplined by my father; the beatings, the cruel and unusual punishments, the whole package. yes, so i think i am definitely more responsible. whereas my younger sibling, he has the disadvantage of being not only a spoiled brat, but an extremely lazy spoiled brat. he reads a lot, and thats pretty much the only good thing about him. another controversial curse in the form of a blessing is that he can phase out the rebukes of my mother. now one minute ago i was critisizing him and now i'm commending him, but not really. it only seems to be a boon at certain times, like if i really did not want to hear my mother tell me how all the other girls my age are doing jobs and iam sitting around and my legs are gettin fat andn how i should exercise more. because she has already said it 10 times that week and wishes to say it once more, as if i couldnt hear her say it 10 times, whereas i actually could. that didnt sound like it made sense. but yea. this stream of consciousness thing, i did it in senior yr ap english. my teacher, mrs. lydic was one . . uh. . unique lady. she was somewhat crazy in the sense that she drank unbelievely outrageous amounts of coffee and had this almost supernatural smirk/ smile on her face. and her hair was always the exact same way. side parting with a big dome of hair on the top. yes i sound so shallow in this  callow description of her physical faults, but it was that mingled with her personality that made the ap english experience not really unpleasant, but unusual. so after i discovered that i had to do a stream of consciousness paper in psychology i thought, i can never get rid of lydic. she will always be there. not that thats a bad thing. i suppose it is thanks to her ( and my own diligent efforts) that i got a 4 on the english literature advanced placement exam. but now i have less than 30 secons left and i would just like to say, this soc paper didnt really provide a catharsis for me.