I think that I am a pretty friendly guy who is fun to hang with but no one ever calls me. I don't know if its because I get decent grades and look studious that they figure that I won't want to do anything or if its just because they don't like me and they are just pretending to like me. I used to think that I had good judgement of people but after finding out that all my friends in high school basically used me in class and ignored me outside of class, I have questioned in from then on. My quest to find a good group of reliable friends always seems to come to a dead end. I look at both of my sisters who are always getting calls from their classmates and friends and I never get any. They don't help much either because they are always reminding about the fact that I have no friends. I know people and I say hi to them in the hallways and class and they talk to me normally in class but outside of class I have no touch with them. I admit that I have done the best of job of keeping in touch with anyone, but I've started to this year but with no results so far. I always end up doing the calling and asking what people are up to. No one ever calls me. It just makes me mad. While people are complaining about all the junk mail and excess mail they get, I basically hoping or looking forward to getting one message per day. Lately, I think I'm so obsessed with it that I religiously check my e-mail hoping that something new happened. Other than that everything so far is going well. I've already joined a couple of clubs, got some leadership positions and will be volunteering. My resume is starting to shape up. Now if only my grades would follow, a decent grade on the MCAT would give me an excellent chance of getting into a decent medical school. Before none of these things bothered me before, even in high school. Just like in high school I see other people doing things and never cared that I never did. But once I came to college, it just started bothering me. I don't know if its my sister's influence or what its become a problem that last year kept me from doing good in my classes. Whether its same or not this year, I'm not going to let it ruin my grades. I hope to get a 4. 0 from now till I graduate. I tried talking to people, opening up about my problems and things like that because some people told me that I was to closed and that they didn't feel at ease with me because it looked like I was too serious. Everyone that knows me never seems to think that I'm serious. They don't think that I give a care about anybody or anything but myself. I don't mean to come of that way but I'm just good at expressing my emotions. When I do, the response that I've gotten from others is that I'm stupid if I can't even figure it out by myself. I figured maybe I caught them at a wrong time or something and would try again but same thing happens. After a while I feel like I'm starting to bug them and just let it go. I think that I am a good listener but no one ever tells me about their problems. I think they think that they can't trust me or won't be able to help them. I wish they would because I truly do get a rush out of helping people for some reason. I'm not saying it because I'm egotistical or overwhelmed by myself but I really do enjoy helping others. If I didn't become a doctor, I really wouldn't mind becoming a teacher. I don't know if its because I get to showcase what I know and understand or if its because I just enjoy making someone else understand but I just like it. I would hate it if it was an ego thing, because I always tried to fight against the ego thing. Sometimes I can be at certain moments but later after I think about it I usually apologize for my mistakes. Most people get on me about being egotistical but if they ever looked at themselves objectively they would find that they have a greater ego. If I point that out to them they'll just ignore and say that I am wrong and give me longer lecture on me being egotistical or something else. I try to use their own words, conversation, statements examples whatever but they just deny it. I'm not strong willed enough to continue the argument so I usually give up. I lose a lot of arguments. I think that humans generally think that if they win an argument then they must be right and not necessarily because they just talked more than the other person. I find or observe a lot of ironic things about humans and wonder how the things can co-exist. I find them very interesting. Just the possibilities even the slightest that something every is against is actually the right way. When I try to discuss this someone else, they just look at me as if I'm just crazy. I have a lot of curiosity and like to explore but at my own pace and not at societies beckoning. Maybe that's why I have a hard time fitting into society. I haven't found a group of people yet that are categorized as me or have the same ironic interests, at least ironic according to societies view. I'm a mix of several things both culturally and socially. Well that's about 30 minutes now think I'm going to go on to assignment two.