Why do I always analyze things to the point that I completely stress myself out about it?  I find myself doing this time and time again.   I feel stupid, I can't believe that I let Jaime set me up on a date with someone that I don't even know. To top that, I barely know her. What was I thinking? The way that she is talking, he is the most gorgeous guy she's ever seen; however, I am really scared that I am going to be really let down. I know that sounds really negative, but I guess it sounds too good to be true. It doesn't make sense to me how this whole thing works anyways. Your sorority tells you about a party that they are having, giving you only two days notice to find a date. To me that is completely weird. I just don't have the guts to go up to some random guy and ask him to go to something that I'm not even sure will be fun myself. Oh well, it will all work out.   Now, on the other hand, I'm all about going to the pledge line tomorrow. I couldn't believe that someone asked me. It made me feel so good inside to know that I was one of the few girls to get asked!    I don't know what my problem is; it just seems like I can't stop thinking about how much weight I think that I need to lose. It seems to be the only thing that I think about any more, and I don't know why. I don't think that there is anything wrong with me, but then again, maybe there is . You never can tell any more.   All I know is that there are so many things going on and not enough time. I wish that my body wouldn't go through such big "swings". One minute I am bursting with energy, and the next I can't even keep my eyes open. It is as if a person is holding onto my heels and making me drag them for hours on end. After dragging them for so long, you just can't drag any more. This tiredness that sweeps over me comes frequently throughout the day, but , without fail, it comes each day between 2pm and 5pm. I want to be like others that are comstantly energetic, skinny, and seem to get everthing done with no problems at all. I guess that is only a perception in my mind that only sees things from the outside instead of how they really are. Does that make sense?     Why can't there be more hours in the day. I feel like ever since I have gotten here, all the time in my day has flown by, and comtinues to fly by without even slowing down. Which is fine with me as long as I don't leace things that are really important to me out. Unfortunately, this is what I have been forced to do because I my new schedule.    Before I came to school, I worked out daily so that I could relieve all of my stess, and feel good all at the same time. Now I can't even find time to get to class--much less work out.   I wonder how Nolan is. Is such a sweet little boy. Ever since he was born I have loved those kids, and had a compassion for them that no one else could ever have.    I can't believe that Catrina came up to me and asked me about Ryan Murphy the other day. I mean talk about digging up painful things that have already been buried!! Whenever she said something, every bit of hurt and anger inside of me came back like it was just yesterday that it had happened.   I need to put it past, and forgive and forget. That is at least what I know I am supposed to do, but it is so hard! Why do I get attached to people so easily? That is one thing even I will never know.