Well I am sitting in my apartment thinking how weird it is to live by myself with out a roomate. I stair at my fish, and don't know many of my neighbors since I am new to the Austin area. My room is a mess, I am a total slob and hate to admit that. However, I would clean it up if I had a guest or to. But not during the week me and my friends are busy doing homework and trying to inteact with orginizations around the UT campus. I still miss my dance at Blinn. I worked so hard for that team and myself finally made friends in that little town. I am happy to be at a new school though for a new fresh start. Tryouts for the UT dance team are on thursday and I am debating back and forth if I will make it and how bad I really want it. I know for a fact I really want that spot on the dance team it would be a complete honor. But then again I have this attitude that if I don't care the dissapointment will not hurt as bad if I don't get the spot. I am just so use to being on a dance team and belonging to a group. Everyone knows me as the dancer. so what am I now if I don't make the dance team?  I actually miss home its been about a month and a half since I have seen my parents and I miss my 2 cats soo bad!  I miss my ex boyfriend terribly and wish I could see although he is 3 and 1/2 hrs away at Sam Houston University. I miss those hugs he would give everyday even when we were friends they honestly made me feel good inside. I am acutally quite bothered that my boyfriend won't call me back. I haven't seen him in 3 days and just wanted to see him for a little while. Everytime I ask him if I can see him and have to ask still after 5 months of going out he always answers with a I don't know. I feel like I need a lot of attention and hurts my feelings when he seriously does that. Not allowed to hang out with my best guy friend because these two don't get along however I don't agree with that and hang out with him anyways. I don't feel as I have to clear everything with him. I am happy that I have my two best friends here though quite close on campus. One my bestfriend from highschool didn't see much of eachother there for a while because I went away to school for 2 years and she stayed home. Alice and me have been roomates for 2 years in a tiny dorm room and decided that we wanted to live by ourselves for a change. I actually enjoy it and can do as I please. I am aslo worried about finding study buddys for my classes because I am sure my grades will be better if I study with others. Its hard to just start talking to people. when I am new I can be a bit shy. But once you get to know me I am a quite talkative person full of energy but people don't know that unless they approach me. I need to dye my hair red again becuase my mousy brown hair is starting to show again and I hate it. . glad I don't have to go to work today becaue i have soo much to do this week. I should really clean up my apartment because I have a major ant problem going on here especially in the kitchen. Its one of my best friends birthday's today I called her up and shes going out tonight wish I was here but I'm not in Houston. Wish I could be home. My dad just lost his job but has been wanting to leave for awhile. And does have a back up he has his own business called    Inland Homes  . Now I am glad he can dedicate all he can to his dreams which is having a successful business of his own. I am worried about him though he has been very stressed out latley. I need to call T. C to get help with my homework. . I will pass that darn T. A. S. P test soon! I don't have any other choice I am eager to get out of math and graduate college.