right now, I am in a really good mood, I don't really know why because this morning I was so dead, and I thought I would feel like that all day, but I woke up sometime between biology and economics. last night sucked. everyone else was having so much fun, but I was exhausted and just couldn't really get into it. I don't know how people do it every night!  I am so worn out every day!  I just need to take a few days off to sleep. I am so mad that our zeta retreat is the weekend of austin city limits!  I have to get out of it somehow. my stomach kind of hurts right now, and I really need to go running, so I hope it goes away. my friend megan has an eating disorder I think. she constantly tells us how much weight she is lost recently, and its getting so annoying. I really miss zachary. thank god he called and woke me up this morning or else I would have never woken up. and I really miss my dog. I think I have an unhealthy relationship with my dog. thank god I'm taking psychology. haha I literally miss her more than my parents!  I hope fiji is fun tonight. it probably will be. I always have the most fun with the fiji guys. they are so nice and fun to hang around with. it is such a nice day outside. I would much rather be out enjoying it then writing this. just kidding!  it was not cool last night when so many people came into my room and woke me up! I was in such a deep sleep too! no wonder I was tired this morning. okay now my roommate is going outside. just like I wanted to!  she is cool as shit. she is just so herself, and I think that's awesome. sometimes I wish I could be more like that. I am a fairly independent person, but I know I follow the trend a lot too. I hope I do well at the tryouts for the dance team. that would be so cool! I miss dance so much!  I can't believe I quit - I am such an idiot! dance was always such an outlet for me and when I quit, things kind of started going downhill, so hopefully I can start back up. I seriously think I've gained the freshman 100!  for some reason when I get stressed out I start to eat. a lot. I need to get control!  I think its so funny how all of the girls from hardin house and srd are constantly at towers. I love living here, it is so free and fun all the time. it's so weird how music means so much to some people and so little to others. I think I'm kind of in between. I love music, but it certainly isn't my life. there are definitely times in my life when music plays a key role. ugh. cooper, why did he become so annoying!?  he used to be so funny and nice. I wonder what my sister is doing right now. I miss her about the same as I miss my pooch. she is so sweet. I hope she is okay. I worry about her all the time, I just hope she is okay. it worries me how introverted she is. I am the complete opposite!  I spill my guts to anyone that will listen and she won't open up to anybody. I know that she is going through a really hard time right now with mom and papa, and with me leaving. god she looked up to me so much :(  I really need to stretch. I think running will be good for me today. I need to burn off some steam for sure. I wonder how molly is doing. I haven't talked to her in awhile. I feel bad because she called me a lot when school started, and I was always so busy and couldn't' ever call her back. now she hasn't been answering when I call, so I hope she is at least having fun. I bet she is met so many hot colorado guys. why can't I find a guy?  they are all so worthless. all the freshmen guys care about right now is pledging and getting a piece of ass. both of which I am not going to do right now. well except for pledging. duh. zeta. why didn't I get my first choice!  I really want to know what I did wrong. all of my friends got their first choice, and I am really nice and outgoing, it should have been a breeze. why did I spill my guts that night about it to nathan. I am such a dumbass. oh well, it happens to the best of us. well time to go run!