My mind is clustered with the nonstop clicking of my roommate's mouse on her computer. It just keeps going and going and going. Then comes the sound of my keyboard keys clicking away. and the sound of my next door neighbor's toilet flushing. I have the sudden urge to tell all the noises to just shut up. I hear the sound of my roommate coughing, and it reminds me of my grandfather, who passed away a few years ago. He died of pneumonia while in a coughing fit. Now I'm thinking about lunch. which I was supposed to have an hour ago. Yet, it is very upsetting because I have no food in the dorm in which I want to eat and the food at the dorms are not quite edible or appetizing. I'm thinking about my boyfriend, and how he'll come visit Austin from Houston this Friday. He'll be coming here to have dinner with me and my roommates at a fancy restaurant. That will be quite exciting considering that I haven't had any great food in a long time. I'm really excited to see him because he lives back at home, where I moved from. This weekend I'll be going to see my parents. When I think of my parents, I get a guilty feeling because I know I haven't been very truthful to them. But, there are just things that I can't tell them because of the generation gap and everything else that occurs between parents and their kids. It makes me feel even guiltier that they miss me and want me to come home, but yet, I don't really miss them yet because I feel restricted in their presence. The sound of water running is making me want to take a shower because it just reminds me of showers. Maybe because I just took a shower. My body feels warm and clean. I love that feeling. The sound of food is calling. but I need to type for another 15 minutes. For some reason. the little eraser shavings on my desk made me think of little insects and bugs. The thought isn't very pleasing considering the fact that I have an extreme hatred for insects. The thought of them makes me itch. Now my eyelids feel heavier and heavier. Writing continuously makes me tired. Speaking of sleepiness, I think of the experiment we did on Monday with the correlation between sleepiness and stress. I was one of the control group people who just sat there. Sitting there listening to all the number counting was like a lullaby. I fell asleep soon after that. Then I woke up to the sound of laughter, and realized that I left a big wet spot on my shirt sleeve because I had fell asleep with my wet hair on my sleeve. It wasn't a great picture because the people walking by might have thought that I drooled all over myself. Not a good image. Speaking of image, I went to rush for a business fraternity yesterday. It felt weird approaching everyone and trying to meet everyone. Usually I am a more inward person and not likely to just go up to people and "mingle," but yesterday I needed to because it was a "rush" event. I am thinking that both this fraternity might make me feel more comfortable with meeting people and approaching them, but at the same time. it might not be something I really want to do because I'm not the extremely social type. However, as for now, I will keep on rushing to see how things go. It makes me nervous about joining this fraternity because I know my boyfriend back home will feel somewhat against me hanging around a group of people he doesn't know. It already makes him nervous enough to know that I'm up here at the populated University of Austin, and he's down there back home, in a known environment. So, there are many things to consider about joining these organizations. But like everyone's advice to me: Don't get held down by some longdistance relationship when you get to college. Maybe this is why they gave me the advice. Because every time I go to some party or meet new people, I feel guilty that my boyfriend is not part of it with me. I suppose I get this feeling because he has always been there with me to meet everyone back home. Now that we're in different environments, that is not possible anymore. However, I am still determined to make this relationship work. Now I am really in the mood to go home, and really in the mood to walk up to my refrigerator for some food. One more minute to go. I see Einstein on my computer screen. He makes me want to do well in school. I hope I will do well this year. I feel kind of nervous because there are so many more distractions here, but I suppose I'll learn to handle it.