Stream of thought. this is interesting because it seems like i've done this many times on my own. keeping a journal of things i'm feeling or things that have been on my mind, but i can never quite finish a thought before another one pops into my mind. i've been at the chi o house for almost 2 hours today, but wait- instead of studying at the chi o house i spent those 2 hours trying to save an apartment for myself and 3 friends next year. that didn't work because you can't forget to speak to your father when it comes to issues of money (whether it's his money or your own). i'm a little frustrated because i haven't been able to get my computer hooked up to the ethernet service at hardin house yet. ok, very frustrated. i'm even using my roommate's computer at the moment. not that that is a bad thing, but hey, maybe i want to use my own computer!  oh well- she's never here anyway. i kind of like it bc she has all of her classes in the morning and mine are pretty much spread out through the entire day, so we don't see each other that much. it keeps us from getting sick of each other, and we still find the other person amusing when we do spend time together. on the other hand, my best friend from high school- i'm about to scream!  i was so hoping that when i came to ut, a school of collosal size, that it might be possible for me to get away from westlake; branch out; make some new friends; have some new experiences. while all this is taking place, i still seem to have this tie to my high school- her name is robin. she hadn't always planned on coming to ut. as a matter of fact, she wanted to go to baylor with our friend blair (robin is my closest friend, but i kind of wish she had gone to baylor) but one day she just made up her mind and here we are. still   summer and robin   or   robin and summer  . . why can't i just be my own person???  i enjoy having time to myself. don't get me wrong, i am a very outgoing person- i love to meet new people- i even want to dual major in public relations (and photography), but sometimes it's nice to just not have to talk to anyone. to just be alone. this thing with robin has gotten out of hand!  now that she's seen how much fun i had going through rush she wants to rush next year. now that she knows i'm going to do young life leadership she wants to do yl leadership. i drive her to church every morning and then to her house afterwards (it is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of the way. but she's my friend, so i do it). i'm signing up to do texas angels next year, so she's going to sign up to be an angel. and the list goes on. i can understand that yeah she may actually be interested in these things- and i'm so glad she's wanting to be involved in things like young life and lake hills church (which meets at our high school by the way) but i need some air. it's even gotten to the point where i actually feel guilty if i hang out with/make new friends!  that's not right!!!  the thing is i know i need to just talk to her and let her know what i'm thinking (maybe not to the full extent) but she has a right to know how spending so much time together is hurting our friendship more than helping it. i just hate to hurt her feelings. it'll work out. i can't believe i'm writing all these thoughts down for other people to see. i'm assuming other people will read this because it's an assignment, but hey. stream of consciousness eh? :)  i've recently been reading this book called   when God writes your love story   and i wish i could spend more time reading it to get it finished. it's really interesting, although often cheezy, but it talks about God being the center of your life and the center of your relationship with members of the opposite sex. the thing that hits me most strongly is when it talks about how instead of pursuing relationships, we should give this area to God and let Him pick out our partner for us. I've known that God has someone special picked out for me, but i never thought of actually backing off and letting God bring him to me. i know He will, but it's hard to not be looking for that someone. yeah. . still a little rusty on the subject - that's why i should actually FINISH THE BOOK! :)  and that's another thing- i have NOT been keeping up with my quiet times recently!  not just recently. it's been quite some time. i want to but there's just not that constant desire you know?  it's something that i need to be praying about. there are lots of things i need to be praying about, such as continued enthusiasm for my studies at ut. i am so excited about all of my classes!  they are ALL soooo amazingly interesting to me, and i hope i just don't get burnt out on any of them. the only class i'm having a big problem with is my biology class. i'm so interested in the material, but my professor just sucks. she's nice, and i can tell she's interested in and excited about the information, but she just doesn't know how to present it in a way that others might find it interesting as well. i've never fallen asleep in a class until this one!  and yeah. . i haven't made it to that 8am biology discussion lab on fridays. it's not like i go out and party (and i don't ever have hangovers then bc i just plain don't drink at all) but i'm such a night person!  actually i dont' know what the deal is. ever since middle school i haven't gone to bed before midnight and now that's more like 2am.  but no matter what time i go to sleep early or late, i cannot for the life o fme wake up the next morning. it's an impossibility. time is almost up i wish there was more time to write though. oh well.