Well. steam of conscience you say. Well as you will sonn learn by reading this I have a very random stream of conscience. I tend to jump from one thought to the next without warning. Now some may call that ADD but I personally think that it is due to my intellect. I have always gotten descent grades in school and when i apply myself i get all A's, i just lack that thing called motivation. But i think that i am starting to gain it once again becuase of the fact that i don't know what i want to do with my life so i have to have good grades in order to transfer into the school of my choice. I'm actually looking at the psychology department as well as business. Big surprise right?  I just looked up and saw a picture of my absolutely gorgeous girlfriend Lauren. Everything with her and i is great. other than the fact that she is still in hight school and living in houston. (by the way that is where i am from). She is great. We get along all the time and she actually has the ability to make me a better person, where as no one else that i have ever dated has had to ability to change me in the slightest way. I think that was because i never really cared about any of them even if i did say that i loved them. (you do what you have to do sometimes. . you know what i mean?)   Back home i was a member of the high school band. REally neardy sounding im sure but what can i say. Thats where i met lauren though and if you saw her you wouldnt be saying that. But anyway that is where some of my fondest memories have come from. I have continued with the whole band thing in collage. My brother was in it for four years before i got here and talked it up to be this great miracouls thing but now that i am in it i am kind of wondering what all the who ha was about. I mean i love the music end and the free games are nice but other than that i am kind of lacking interest. PLEASE IGNORE THE SPELLING ERRORS i am a horrible speller. I depend on the spell check. Well i just looked around my room at a poster of Brooke Burke that my roomate has on his wall. It makes me wonder if Lauren is the only person that i will ever have sex with and weather i am doing myself a bad thing by not getting out and experiencing things. I mean i have been with her the last 10 monthes. don't get me wrong  I LOVE HER and could never dream of hurting her, but i have to wonder what it would be like to be single in college. That alos makes me wonder weather i should feel guilty when i check out other girls as they walk by on the street or when i have   thougts   when watching a movie or things of that nature. Man Brooke Burke is hot.   I guess i am kind of feeling the   freshman symptons   that eveyone talks about. I miss being at home with my family. See i have never been to a church service or anything like that. I was raised on the principle of family. Which i love and that is what i know but i have to wonder weather or not im missing something by never have gone to a service. My family is jewish. Both my parents practiced when they were young and even when they were older, but once my mom's dad died (my grandfather) my mom stopped practicing because she did not understand why God would take such a good man a such a young age when there was a bitch of a mom (my grandmother) who deserved nothing that she had. So as you can see my mom has some issues with God and her mom. But this never being taught religion always leaves me with a void. I don't know weather i believe in a God or not. All i know is that i look at things logically and if there is not a logical reason for an action i have to wonder what is going on. Wow 17 mins. don't know if it really feels long or not but either way i have to fill 3 more mins.   Looking to the future i need to start looking for some gifts for Lauren because her birthday and our 1 year anniversary is coming up. Which is a big deal cause i never lasted more than 3 monthes with anyone else. Just another sign of how special lauren is to me. BUT more importantly my bday is coming up nad i hope to be getting a digtal camera so tha i can recorde the many addventures of collage.   Well times up so i guess i will be going.