ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
I am currently thinking about how ready I am to go home this weekend. I didn't go home for labor day weekend because my girlfriend came here to visit me. I can't wait to see her and see if she is feeling better. She has been sick for the last four days. I also can't wait to drive my new car. I just got it this summer but I haven't been able to drive it because I don't want to bring it to Austin. I wonder what we are going to do in Psychology today? I wonder if he is going to do another demonstration like he did last class? I just drew a blank and can't think of what to say next. I really want to go watch a movie this weekend because I haven't went to the movies in a really long time. I wonder what I will buy Kim for her birthday in December? Probably some flowers and some chocolate and maybe buy her a gift certificate to get a massage. I wonder what she will buy me for Christmas? She said it was something I have been wanting but I didn't know I have been wanting anything. I hope the camera I bought on Saturday is going to be here this week. I bought the new Sony DSC-T1 which is the credit card size digital camera sony makes. I can't wait to get it I have been wanting the camera now for six months. I miss my 1967 Camaro. I restored it this year and during the summer I went to Florida and traded it in for a 2002 SS Camaro. Wow what a change that car hauls butt and is nice because it has air conditioning which the 67 didn't. I still have my 68 Camaro and I will probably be wanting to restore that one pretty soon. My dream is to be a Orthodontist and I can't stop thinking about if and when I will realize if this dream could be a reality. I know I have to wait 3 more years to apply to dental school but I can't tell if I will have high enough grades to get accepted. I really hope my Chemistry class isn't as hard as I am making it out to be. I took Chemistry AP last year in high school so I would be prepared but I feel a little discouraged. I wonder what experiments I will sign up for in Psychology. I have been looking but I haven't found one with my interest? I wonder if my dad is really going to help me get a racecar because I have always wanted to race and two weeks ago we went to the track to see if we were interested and my dad said we probably will race next year. My father raced when he was my age and I have always wanted to follow in his footsteps. He was very good and I have seen proof from the programs that he was in. I am starting to smell the food I just recently cooked. It smells like pizza. Maybe because that's what I fixed. DUH. My eyes are starting to hurt from looking at the screen without looking away. I am getting really annoyed by the people living on the top floor. They keep making noise. It sounds like an elephant is walking on top of me. It is disrupting my train of thought. I am really hoping that tonight I can take a break and not have to do any homework.
I find your instructions extremely vague and confusing, I should hope your instructions would be more precise as to what you actually want, considering this is college. However, I will attempt to explain how "my mind works. "  At the moment, I am tired so I am in a cloudy state of mind. To be completely honest I am thinking I would rather be doing many other things with my friends than writing a prompt. I am also hungry because I have not eaten all day. Food is presently being prepared at my co-op so I am not particularly worried about starving. I find that if I something to be misleading or too broad, such as this writing assignment, I tend to get frustrated and pist off. Hence I tend to speak my opinion if I am in this state of mind. I am presently thinking about how much of a moron the person who wrote this assignment must be to try and make me think about my thoughts and then write about my thoughts as I was thinking about my thoughts. Sounds a little too contradictive to me. How could I think of any thoughts to write about when my thought is supposed be me thinking about my thoughts? I have found that I'll have an idea sometimes out of the blue, sometimes when situations spring them upon me. Whether the idea registers as a good one or not in my brain at the time, determines if I decide to take action, ponder it more, or dismiss it. My feelings at this point are that I would rather be having sex than writing a prompt as well. I could simply click a few buttons and check out some internet porn but I might as well keep writing. I feel even more tired now because I just got done shopping for four hours for my co-op. I don't particularly care very much for shopping but I do it because it is part of my duty to everyone at the co-op. I could use some music but am not near a stereo. Which brings up an important thought. I tend to ponder the ways and means of life when I play my own music better. I find that I helps me cope with and express my ideas in a form that is universal instead of English. My mind comprehends a thought and then interprets it as emotion or reason. Based upon the interpretation, my mind then clarifies what emotion or reason is to be felt or used and then determines a course of action. In the case of music, it sends impulses to my soul to tell my fingers what to play and in the case of reason it tells me what is rationally sound to deduce from my initial observations.
It surely was a good day today. I found all my classes without any difficulty. I have been at this school for four days now. And today is the first day that I  didn't lose my way to the classrooms. Anyway, I don't particularly like this school, but this is the best business school which is near my home, and my mom doesn't want me to leave the state. I was hoping that I could have a math major at MIT, but again family argued that it would be so hard to find a job and to have good pay if I had  math as my major. As a Chinese, I would have to follow their tradition that to obey parents. I know that it probably will sound strange to you, or many other Americans. But it just the way it is. God help me!  Gratefully, I am always a positive person  who usually challenges the changing world with unchangeable doings. I might be somewhat  too confident sometimes. I enjoy my confidence though. I always enjoy to look at the world from the bright side. I know that there certainly are something ugly, but I  think that people don't have to be so critical. If everyone takes good care of himself or herself, be more open-minded, more self-controlled, and more concerned for the good  of the society as a whole, then our world will be much brighter, much more beautiful, and much more peaceful. I believe that before we watch out for the others, we should first watch out for ourselves; before we try to change others, change ourselves first. Before I complain the shortcomings of others, I try to check with myself that if I have the shortcoming too. This practice requires a peaceful and logical mind. So keep cool! (Not only the outside, but also the inside. )  Thinking through the past and the future,  specially after I finished my pretest on this class, I become more and more grateful that  my parents taught me to be what I am now. The skill to cheer myself up no mater how bad the situation become is really helpful. I believe that as human beings our biggest challenge in life is to overcome ourselves. No one can ever make you cry without your permission. Choices are always ours!      I guess I have been writing for over 20 minutes by now. Hopefully this assignment is well done. Hope your have a good day.                                                            Sincerely,                                                           Linda (Da) Li
I wonder if you are out there watching over me as I stumble through this maze called life. where on this heavenly universe do you have the  time to make sure I don't get run over by the UT buses or nearly crash as I recklessly drive home from alli's house? you must be there because you are witness to my every sin and good deed. did you send a special angel to watch my every step and blunderous move?  that's how I feel sometimes is that everything I do is wrong or misguided and I'm always worrying about whether or not I did the right thing. but I'm so glad I have Alison and Melissa  to help get through this social forum called college. if I could go shopping right now I'd buy every single maryjane shoe in sight. oh to have money! but I feel so guilty to have these materialistic desires that Christ  does not approve of. he tells us to let go of these worldly possessions if we truly want to be a follower in his footsteps. I'm 18 for peaches sake and want stuff!!! As the father said at church during the Homily, "it's very hard to be a Christian" am I one? I was baptized and received communion but did not go on to be confirmed into the catholic church or heck even  do my first confession! that is way to weird for me. and what about finding the right man to fall in love with? what if he is so wonderful in every  way but is skeptical in Christian faith. like the guy in one of my classes I've never spoken to him but he seems sensitive and so good looking yet doesn't come across and "Christian" but appearances are always deceiving so I will hope for the best. oh my! I feel so guilty over something so  insignificant but it bothers me. I did not say good bye to josh, only  the sweetest boy in the world. he would have said bye. he even said  hello to me and remembered my name. now I know why alli is having such a hard time getting over him and that he is perfect and has a girlfriend he really loves. that's so understandable. I wonder what it would be  like to read all these confessions of the soul by psy 301 students. some people's brains I would be very scared of. I wonder what psychology boy  wrote. quiet soul. like me. I like that. I wonder if my mom is  doing good. I hope that I get to grow spiritually when I go t o church camp. yay! meet more people and make new friends. I find that hard to do I am always going out with Allison. it's like she's  the only person I hang out with. but we cling to familiarity and that's okay. I met Erica today and talked, well, she talked. like her. good person. geo is nice boy I wonder if he still loves Krista. I wish I had somebody's heart  like that. god, when will I find him? I guess I m going to have to crawl out my shell if I want to meet the boy and leave earlier for class and sit  right next to him. I'm really tired and I think twenty minutes have passed. alright, girlie. you are going to go to sleep and dream of sweet things and cute boys who open  the door for you. thank you lord for allowing me  to get these words out of my head into the cyber-psychology  world.
I am the egg man whoo I am the egg man whoo i am the walrus coo coo cachoopp? and that girl with the intriguing eyes looked through my spectacles and I could sense her ability to discern my anxiety. she knew she was pretty, and my sudden glance away from her, told her exactly what I was thinking. just from one moment, a bug's seconds glance, I was ashamed. as if I had stumbled upon a lady, naked or something horrible that would define my clumsiness of timing. but its all the same if you don't mind dear reader. I'm just a bit antsy, anxious, looking for colors undiscovered of nature yet. I am positive God has a predestined pastel palette that he has not yet utilized. I mean who knows? with all the toxins in the air, it makes one wonder who is the greater painter of a sky or landscape, man or God? so my friend and I are walking in a park and I said, "wow what pink skies, I am so amazed at the beauty that surrounds me at this moment, I mean its all celestial, you know all of it ""hey, want me to burst your bubble,?" she says. "I know I'm going to regret this, but yeah tell me why!," I said. "its because of pollution. the gases in the air. " and then everything drowned in the void of her gibberish, hogwash, drivel, and my subconscious began to speak for her almost. I wanted to believe that it was something supernatural. something that was not polluted or tainted by the industry of man's ambition and stuff. "no" I said. "that's not true," I rebutted. "because if you look at the painters of 18th century romanticism, you notice the Delacroix pinks and blues of paint in the skies. or Turner's exaggerated oranges and stuff "she didn't know what I meant, and I don't think I was talking much sense either. but those faded or bleached greens never leave do they? the trees, like that of an oil painting. its all too much it seems for some, I guess even me. they, those greens, speak of nature's affinity with the species it serves, and the congruence of it all. I think that if she, my friend, would have told Vincent van Gogh that same monstrous factoid she had told me, I could probably imagine him in a self portrait without any ears at all. coo coo cachoop? that damn Beatles tune.
Looking at this assignment I'm trying to think freely but it is constantly in my mine that I want a good grade. Like every other student, I don't like doing homework but I writing so it is okay. I have been writing papers all day because the teachers have been craming us with homework all weekend because od a long weekend. I know I should have done this earlier but I am a procrastinator and I often wait until the last minute. I am slowly changing that habit because I know I can't procrastinate if I want to do good in school. My feelings towards this paper is kind of wierd because I don't know what I am suppose to be feeling. I am just writing what comes to my mind. Honestly I don't even understand the topic. All I know is that I'm suppose to write non stop for twenty minutes and put down anything that comes to my mind. I know this has nothing to do with school but I keep thinking about my girlfriend back in houston. I was suppose to see her this weekend but her parents wouldn't let her come up to Austin. It is okay because I know I'll see her next weekend. I was going to write this earlier like on Friday but my friends came to visit me and stayed here for the weekend so I didn't find time to write this assignment. So far I like the class because it is the only one that interests me. all my other classes are boring. The is the only class that I enjoy the lectures in. I'm not saying this just to make the professor happy. I'm saying this because I mean it. I am running out of things to write about because nothing is coming up to mind right now. Oh yeah, I think the experiments are a good idea because the students get to do something fun in order to earn their grade. I thought about writing the research papper because I think that might be easier but I think the experiments would be funner. I have met some people in class and they seem to be pretty nice. I also met some of my friends that I already knew who came here from houston just like me. I have no idea what this writing is for nut since the teacher ask us to do it I am. I don't know how long I have been writing because things have been just coming into my mind. I thought I would be watching the time a lot but it is suprising me that I am not. I just keep writing until I don't know what else to write. Well things are starting to stop coming into my mind. All I am thinking about is how I can make this paper keep going longer without me having to stop. Will I think my feelings for the past twenty minutes have been exciting, anxious, lost, suprise, and not understanding. This has been a interesting paper because I have no idea what I have been writing. Well I guess ill push the submit button now.
Why I'm I here typing when i could have gone and eat? When   does my next class start? I hope my mom left me some food for   tonight. I got to call my friend to go work out. My stomache is   growling. That girl over there look so cute, i want to go up to her and   introduces me, but i'm scared. Maybe i'll have the gut next time. I   can't wait for this week to be over with, but I'm not ready for the exam   next week. what do i have to do for tonight?  Do i have to pick up my   brother today from football? What time is my fraternity interview. I   hope i get accepted. What's the guy next to me is doing? This writing   assignment is so long!  I don't know what else to write. Oh,   tomorrow is the one year anniversary of the terrorist attack on the   world trade center. What i would do to stop terrorism and Bin Laden.  I can't wait for the fall semester to be over with so i could go to   Californnia and visits my cousins and relatives. I missed them so   much. I'm so exhausted from weight training class. I'm so tired.  What worse is I have to walk all the way from Gregory Gym to the   Union going up so many steps. I walked so much. Why does all my   classes have to be so far apart? Ten minutes left. hahaha. When   does the fall semester offically end? Hmmm. . Another pretty girl   just walks in. Of all the student at UT, how come i only a couple of   cute girl? Why is that? I'm i in the wrong building or at the wrong   place or something? Where is all the pretty girl at? Oh. the cheddar   lover combo from Wendy's sound so terribly good right now! I can't   wait for this assignment to be over with and go get one from the   Union. I wish i have some kind of super power sometimes. Maybe   the power to go to the future, be back in time, super strenth, be   invisible, shape shifter, be able to fly or have super power eye sight. I   wish i have all of those, hehehehehe. Hmmm. three minutes left,   what else i'm i thinking. This assignment doesn't seem so bad after   all. I wish all the assignments is like this!  My body are so sore. I'm   gonning to go to sleep once i get out of class today. Man, i got a lab   to do right after class!! That suck. Oh well, got to go.
Okay. This is weird. I don't like assignments like this one. I'm trying to track my own thoughts and feelings; trying to be somewhat original and all I find is nothing really. Seems like deep down I am pretty reserved. Well, actually I know that I am so this is not a surprising. Anyways, there it is . nothing. Rachel just got home. She is my sister. She had swim team practice. I think she has more talent than she is willing to admit she has. Does that make sense? Working hard isn't her most favorite thing, though. I bet you wondering why I am expressing myself so badly. It has to do with the fact that English is not my native language. I am German. My real family is still in Germany. So Rachel is not my real sister. She is part of the family I am staying with. Now I am going blank again. Let's talk about the family I am staying with then. They are very kind. After all, they aren't charging me anything. Why? That's a longer story. I think my host mom would be an interesting case for psychology. There isn't anything wrong with her. It's just an perfect example for insecurity at its highest level. The funny thing is that nobody would ever suspect this insecurity. And I am sure she would vehemently repudiate such a statement. But it's true. From what I understand you can blame that on her childhood. Her version is that her parents wanted a boy as their first child. Well, it was her they got. Accordingly, her parents made that very clear throughout her whole life. Well, you can derive your own implications. Anyways, she is on a constant mission to prove to everybody how smart and special she is. It goes even so far that she fabricates facts in order to win arguments. Even when you present her with indisputable facts she refuses to admit that she was wrong. She goes as far as questioning well known axioms or pundits. Anyway, I should be talking about myself. I have my own problems. I can't state my feelings. That is as far as I will go because I can't talk about it. Then it can't be cured. Irony. Now I am thinking about UT. It's pretty overwhelming. In Germany my High School graduating class had about 70 people. Yup. But I will do fine. I am just having these high expectations in college. I want to find my dead poet society" - teacher. Someone that will point me in the right direction. That makes learning an adventure. Right now, I still have to force myself to do homework. Time is up!
Life is ever changing. Nothing remains the same yet, you keep everything with you. Every good thing that has made you happy and every bad thing that has changed you in one-way or another. Right now I miss him. I feel love and sorrow. Lose for what we never found. Why wasn't I the one. OR instead, Am I the one who he needs?  I hate questions that keep me up at night. You tell yourself, "Go to Sleep. You have a big day ahead of you"  But does your mind pay any attention to what your body needs?  No, never. So, I find myself wondering what he is doing and what he is thinking. Is he okay?  Not caring if he is with someone else, just wishing him happiness. I hate myself for being so nice. People use me and don't even bother to thank me for that. Is that to much to ask, A simple "Thank You"?  I am greatfull for lots of things. For my mother and father and grandmother. By the way I wish she were hear. Sadness with a touch of happiness runs through my body as I think of her. As I think of when I was two years old and would help her clean the house. About all the days she made sure I went to school and did my homework. Especially of the day she left us. The day she left me. I was running. I remember I wanted her and she couldn't say anything. All I wanted was to say "Thank You" for all the love she showed me. I guess that is why I say Thank You for everything now. I should have told her that she ment everything to me. Well, I did, but I don't know if she heard me. It is because of her I am who I am today. Not only that, it is because of her that I am here. The world should be a better place. Not for anyone in particular. No, just everyone. People should be happy with who they are inside. If not, than it is difficult to reveal yourself to anyone. How many people do you know that became who they are or accomplished what they have by being true to themeselves?  I don't know many. Sure, I'm only 18, (well 19 next week) but life has not been easy to me either. When I think of my childhood I don't have fond memories. Most people I know would easily go back to the days they had no worries as children. Well, not I. I hated being a child. Even then everyone took control of me. Starting at the age of six my brother sexually abused me. Can you imagine that?  My own brother. Sure, I forgave him, but he wasn't the last. I don't remember how many people messed with me as a child, I try my best not to think of that time-period. Though I do remember that I wanted to be better a better person when I grew up. I wanted to leave and never return to the pain. Now I am strong. Stronger than what most percieve me to be. I love everyone despit the fact people are harmful. I trust everyone despite the fact people are decietful. Most importantly, I am happy. Though I do miss holding him:)