Well, to begin with I am simply thinking that I don't think I can type for 20 minutes without my fingers cramping up. But that is Ok I suppose since I doubt that anyone will ever read this because in a class of 500 students, I don't think anyone is insane enough to sit down for the time it would take to sort through my terribly confused thoughts. Confusion is a funny thing. It comes all at once and for most people it comes quite often. At least I think it comes quite often since it comes to me quite often. Even when you know exactly what to do, sometimes you can get confused because you don't want to do what you are supposed to. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet. (In a manner of speaking)  I am thinking that I am tired of writing about confusion. It's kind of like thinking about thinking. I heard that it is bad for you to do that. I think it destroys brain cells. But then again, a lot of things destroy brain cells. Drugs destroy brain cells. I don't do drugs because I don't think I have very many brain cells to spare. Wow, only 5 minutes have passed!  That is terrible because the tips of my fingers are getting sore and I don't want to stop because you just might have some kind of secret timing mechanism on this little web site of yours and I am taking no chances with that kind of stuff. I know how sneaky teachers can be. I know how sneaky students can be. Some chick was all cheating on out Math Quiz today. I don't know who she was, but she was just flipping through her notes. The teacher had no clue. He was too busy daydreaming. I could have cheated also, but I don't like to cheat. I think that if my best isn't good enough for the professors at UT, then too bad, I'll go to community college. I would rather have a degree from ACC that I earned than one from UT that I cheated my way to getting. I think most people would agree with me but who knows!  I tend to think that people are good. But that notion has bitten me in the buttocks more than once. Take for instance my good friend Tiffany. Yes, good ol' tiffany. I loved her to death. We were really good friends. We did everything together. Then one day I found out that she was sleeping with my boyfriend, John. That was quite a shock to me. I was so depressed. I didn't even want to get out of bed. I did, but it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I was really very in love with him and I thought that he was in love with me too. I guess that is just one example of how stupid I am. So I guess I learned from my experience. People aren't as good as you would want them to be. But then again maybe I didn't learn jack. because the next guy I went out with was a jerk too. Well, he actually was a decent guy. At least that is what I said to everyone when they told me he was a "player". Oh gosh I still have 7 more minutes. Well anyways, they told me he was a player but he said that he thought I was the most beautiful person he had ever met, inside and out. That was it, I was hooked. That is all I have ever wanted was for someone to tell me that I was special. He made me feel pretty and he told me I had the most awesome personality he had ever encountered in a person. I loved hearing him say that. I was willing to risk everything. I even compromised my friendship with my roomate. See, she said they were just friends, and so did he, but then when him and I went out for the first time, she was very pist off. I didn't know why, but it became a suspicion of mine that she secretly liked him. I asked her about it, and she denied it. But I still to this day do not know what to think about her liking him. I mean, she did encourage me an unususal amount to break up with him. Not that it would do her any good because he really would never go out with her. But still, I wonder sometimes if she ever did like him. She is a strong willed person and I thought that she would just come clean and admit it if she did. But the thing about strong people is that most of the time they are often weak. they are just good actors and can hide it better than the rest of us. I think all humans can have the same amount of strenghth. I think that if you just pretend to be strong, then everyone will think you are strong. It is from this facade that you can draw strenght. Take for instance Omar. I act like I don't care about him at all when really I still care for him a lot. Now, since everyone thinks I am strong I just pretend that I don't care about him and it helps me to deal with it when we are around each other. I guess I kind of slipped the other day when I got drunk and called him on the telephone at 4:00 in the morning. Hey, I hope nobody reads this because this is some embarassing stuff and I really don't think that anyone should know about my loser life except for me and the Power Macintosh. OK well I am pretty much done now. I guess that wasn't so hard after all. I hope the next assignment is this easy. Not that my hands aren't going to cramp up when I finally press submit. Ok, I'm done.