ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
I'm glad I'm doing this assignment right now, I can't wait until Friday so I can get hammered That's the guy that was eying me like I was going to steal something it's kind of hot outside I wonder if I should change before we go to Bennigins tonight. Did I spell Bennigan's right?  I hope I did the second time. Young Buck is a good lyricist. It's too bad he doesn't get that much shine. I feel like I'm going to get Carpal Tunnel Syndrome from all this typing. General, I salute. Lloyd Banks is good too. Damn, It's already seven o'clock and I'm just barely getting started on homework!  This running nose sucks. I picked a hell of a time to do this. I don't know why I get sick so often. I'd be great if I had health insurance. Why is that fool looking at me like that. What does he think I'm going to do?  He just doesn't know. Damn my muscles are so sore and I'm so tired. I got a good workout today. I like to reflect on my day towards the end, It's just what I do. Shit what the fuck do I do now?  I lost track, but now I'm back on track like a train. The Little Engine that Could is what you COULD call me. LOL that was so lame!  Why is Ben laughing?  I don't why I'm writing the dumbest shit. I'm pretty smart. I must be, I got into UT. Hook 'Them Horns!  Get off the phone!  Stop talking. What's up?  What's up?  What's Up?  Martin!   They don't know me up in here. Who do you love?  I love myself. I got sunshine on a cloudy day, when It's cold outside, I got the month of May. Too bad it's on September. Just two more weeks and I turn 20. That's going to be crunch, yaw know. Hell yeah!  My nose is stopping to run. There are a lot of hot girls in my Psych class. Shit, there better be, there's fucking 500 plus people in that class. Why do people look at me funny. I think it's the way I dress. Just thuggin it up. Oh hold up dog, you better let me in. Fuck that let's get in started come on, let's begin. I don't even know what to say next. I smoke everyday because I stay stressed. And stay dressed, fly fresh to death, head to toe until the day I rest. Just give me some air forces and fitted hat to match matter of fact give me two of those with a white new era, now who dares to. Even approach me. I'm known in the ATX, but in H-Town it's locally, express myself vocally cause I fight with words I ain't the one wild in out stay tight on curbs swerve right in burb, high like them birds. I'm feeling kind of lucky, you could call me Larry, you call me anything. Homie I don't ball with jokes so you could me anything, just don't call me broke. Most hated M to the is-h phenomenal get up and get straight in your abdominal I'm warning you, stop your blood clot, and keep your mouth shut, stop talking shit you don't know what I'm about OK now I'm back, used to be little, but now I'm stacked like change on the dresser and spot the fakes, the streets is like a jungle you got to watch these snakes, cause they'll come up and bite yaw, act like they like yaw, pour gasoline on yaw then ignite yaw, start the fire, just like Banks, my pockets fill with money just like Banks and dating girls who model, just like Banks
My first week at UT has been okay despite the humid weather, long walks to class, and lack of sleep. Already I am behind on most of my reading assignments. My math homework which is due Sunday is incredibly hard. Other than that, I have met new people and taken part in new experiences. For example I have never shared any of my stuff with anyone. But when I came to UT, I must share everything, including a dorm room, ethernet cable, printer, etc. with my friends, roommate, strangers, etc. Life here is so different. There are so many types of people and the population of economics and psychology are overwhelming to me. The size of those classes is just a little smaller than my graduating class in high school. Another problem is that I must force myself to wake up in the mornings and walk to class. Right now my roommate is asleep which I am busily doing my homework and yet I am still behind. I can even hear her snore. Sometimes this is very distracting to me; however, you must learn to cope with these dilemmas. I have never understood why I chose to come UT. I have realized that getting into the business program is not that important because I am not the only one that got in. I guess I came here because my friends did. They influenced me that going to UT was cheaper than if I went out of state to UC Davis. I took their advice, although sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision. Last night, some of my friends tried to convince me to attend a frat party. I knew she was never like this in Arlington. I knew she was curious about what it was like, but everyone should know what to expect at one of these parties. I am glad I didn't go. I am feeling overwhelmed, scattered, and tired right now. I hear noises of people doing laundry, the air conditioner, the stupid building fans that are spinning below my dorm, etc. The lighting in here is horrible because I don't want to turn on the light in case it would wake up my roommate. Although I am somewhat considerate of others like my roommate, are they considerate of me?  I always clean up my messes, but she hardly ever does. For example if my hair is left in the bathtub, I always wash them down the drain and when water splashes out from the sink I clean it up, but will she do the same for me. I guess not since her hair is always laying around in the sink and her items take up most of the tub and sink area. Well, I guess this is what it is like living with another person. I tend to complain a lot about things. Maybe I do this because I am stressed out or really mad at something. Sometimes on these assignments it is really hard to describe what you are feeling. When I was given this assignment in high school psychology, we had a certain word amount that had to be obtained. So I used ands and ums as additional words. Twenty minutes is actually a long time to write such an assignment. I am still thinking about what to write. There are so many things I need to finish. One for example is my calculus homework. So as my twenty minutes is about to end, I hope UT will bring me many great memories.
I can't believe he just showed up like that and expected me to let him in of course I let him in anyway. What is this control he has over me? I can't make thoughts work clearly when he looks at me. All I see are blue eyes and red hair. Deep, deep blueness. There I get lost into submission. Is it me? Is it all just something I do to myself? Where are the lines I should be drawing. Why isn't easier to know what the right thing to do is? I wonder if he's sleeping right now? I know he's home. Maybe I should knock on his window until he wakes up and lets me sleep next to him? His room is so close just right down stairs. I know he look up at me every night through his window. He's sees everybody I let in. I'll have to remember in the future the consequences of sleeping with neighbors; but what if they have crazy red hair and perfect hands? It will be an interesting year. I wonder if he'll end up hating me? or me him? no. we can at least be friends. Although, it's hard sometimes. Especially with the angel downstairs. Ha! no pun intended. I just don't understand where all the anger inside him comes from. We're so different. I'm so full of love and he's so scared of love. Maybe he just fearful and that's why he becomes so overwhelmed with anger; or maybe he's just passionate. I think that might be part of it. I read his palms and his heart line was off the chart! He asked me when I met him if I thought we'd be dangerous together and I said, "I'm not dangerous with anybody," but I'm begging to change my mind. I wish I could see inside him. Usually I can read strait through boys, but he is an enigma. I guess I'll just start looking harder. If I go down there right now I know he'll wake up and be happy to see me. I'm sure he thought about me all night after the afternoon we had together. Why is it that you can see someone who fits every requirement you have for the perfect mate, but if there's no chemistry there's no relationship  at least romantically. Then you might met someone who isn't your type at all, maybe you don't even really like the same music or have the same lifestyle, but if there's chemistry you can't resist each other. Who casts the spells on us? Who laughs at our bumbling confusion? Is it all a matter of having the ideal children? Are the people we have 'chemistry' with the people who have the perfect complementary set of genes to our own? If so, how does my body know? Do my electrons match up perfectly with the spin cycles of theirs?
Right now I am very tired, and I really don't know why. I got enough sleep yesterday, but then again I had a very busy day yesterday. It must have been when I went to try out for the texas crew team. I am not sure whether I should join, and it has been bugging me all day. If I join, I will have to sacrifice many things. First off, I would have to get up really early in the morning and I am not use to that. Second, time would be another sacrifice. I would have less time to do other things,  and would have to learn how to manage my time very efficiently. I am really missing the girl that I left back home in order to come attend the university. She was so good to me, never complaining and always doing things for me, even if it was at her expense. We got along great, hardly ever fighting. I miss going to her house every day and talking to her and her parents. Her parents were really good to me also. This girl was going through a really hard time in her life when I met her. I am greatful that I was a big part in helping her get through this time in her life. That time was when her parents were getting divorced. She got through it fairly well, but then her mom remarried quickly. This upset her a great deal. I enjoyed the fact that I could be there for her when she needed me. As a result of her mom's remarriage, she now has a new stepsister and stepfather. Her stepsister is really making her life tough. For that, I resent her stepsister. She disobeys her father and stepmother, steals my girl's clothes, and is a big slut. This girl is named Emily. Emily really pisses me off a great deal. Why does she have to be that way. Nobody has done a damn thing to her, but yet she seems to make the lives if the people around her miserable. I think about my girl quite often, but I know that I am up here for the reason of getting an education. I don't know whether I should move on and try to find someone new, or hold off and just visit her when I am home. But while I am in Austin, the main thing to concentrate on is my studies. It seems that my classes are going to be somewhat difficult. At first I was bit scared, but I know I can come out on top if I put the work and time in. It is sometimes hard to manage time between working out, studying, and having a good time. But it can be done. I am slowly learning the things necessary to become a good student here at UT. I plan to do the best that I can possibly do, and hopefully, if god is willing I will make it through alright. Wow, it has already been twenty minutes and I've got to make a class.
I am supposed to write for twenty minutes while I track my thoughts. I am looking down at my watch right now to check the current time. It is 3:30, and unfortunately I have to miss my calculus discussion class at 4:30 due to a chemistry review for a test I have on Thursday, the 14th. Apocolyptica, a string quartet who plays music written by the rock group Metallica, is actually playing on my computer while I write this. I am also ripping one of my compact discs via my computer so I can listen to it while not actually having the CD in the ROM drive. Sometimes I like to think about how technology has changed in the last few years. It is absolutely incredible. In junior high school, I had no idea what the Internet was, nevertheless how to use it. Now, I sit at my computer and I will turn in this paper simply by pasting it into a box and clicking a small button. How does the information get to the desired location? I suppose the words are somehow converted into 0s and 1s using the binary number system. Still, the entire concept is simply amazing. What is in store for technology in the future? Hover cars? Now there is a concept. I come from Houston, which is not only the most polluted city in the United States but also has a mighty big traffic problem. I think I will switch my music to Beethoven. There we go. Anyway, with the help of cars that "float" above other vehicles, pileups would be significantly less common. However, there would probably be more accidents, for the concept of cars above a driver adds a completely new depth to driving. Now instead of just having to watch in front, back, and adjacent, one would now have to be careful of who was above him. This would definitely cause some major problems. Maybe hover cars are not such a good idea. The song has now switched to Holst's Mars. My friend Cody has the score to this piece at his dorm at the University of Houston because he is a music major. A bunch of my friends and I are going to see the Dave Matthews concert in Houston in a couple of days. I have seen the DMB perform two previous times at the Woodlands Pavilion, and they were incredible. However, the band has not come out with an album containing new songs in quite a while. They will be coming out with a new album very soon, so I assume they will play many songs from this album in this concert coming up. Well, twenty minutes has just expired, so I will sign off now.
I came back to my home town for Labor Day. I didn't really want to, but my friend talked me into coming with her. I've only been gone a week and I'm already back. Why? I'm not home sick. I guess I just didn't want to stay in Austin when everyone I knew was leaving. I hope Ajay made it to the airport. I'm really worried about him right now. I pray for his mom to get better but I just don't know. I want to promise him everything is going to be alright but I just can't. I wish he would stop drinking to make the pain go away but I guess if it makes him feel better right now. Who am I to tell him what to do anyway? I wonder what time Michael's game is tomorrow. My mom told me but I forgot. Maybe I should have gone to Dallas this weekend. I don't know? I think anything's better that being in Odessa. Football is such a big thing here. Of course the first thing we do is go to Jeesong's football game as soon as we got here. I'm glad Ajay doesn't do anything as dangerous as that I already worry about him enough. I really think we are maturing in our relationship, learning to work through problems that most couples don't ever have in their entire lives. I don't know what he's going to do if he loses her too. I know she wants to be with his dad but isn't it selfish to leave your children. Catherine just came in here to ask me what time I was going to get up. I said 10 but that wasn't early enough so we decided on 9:30. I am very happy with my schedule because I don't have a class before 9:30 and I like all of them. One thing about school I hate is that I'm always so tired. Why can't I check my stupid email from my house? You would think a major computer system at a major university would have some way you could check it without having to download this and that. You should be able to enter your IF or UTEID and open a link site, but no. Nothing is that easy. I hate computers and if I never had to use one I wouldn't mind a bit, but if I didn't know how I couldn't pass any of my classes. That is another thing. Why is everything I need for a class on the internet? I feel sorry for people who have no clue how to use it. I thought Kris was never going to hook up her computer but she finally discovered she had no choice. Computers are our lives these days. What would the human race do without them? It's scary you know, our whole life is on this thing and if they know what their doing, anyone could find some thing you don't want them to have.
Well, I'm supposed to write down any and everything I am feeling or thinking right now. The truth is I am totally stressed out today and can't wait to finish this assignment so I can go home and relax and enjoy my wonderful weekend ahead. I have many things to be stressed out about right now. First of school, I'm trying to get my gpa up so I'm having to do just perfect in anything I do for my classes to get into the nursing school. This is my 4th year at UT and you would think I would have my life together by now. Although it's getting there, slowly but surely. To add to my stressful life is my exboyfriend of 2 years who just moved to California so that he can "find himself". Whatever. But it's weird because I feel so much happier now that I am no longer with him. It's kind of like I'm a totally different person. I don't hang out with our usual crowd. It seems that I have changed for the better. Also adding some stress into my life is all my expensive bills I have to pay. Phone, electricity, rent, gas, food, beer, etc. One thing I am so grateful for is my wonderful family. I'm proud to say that my parents did a hell of a job raising my 14 year old sister, my 12 year old brother, and of course me the rookie 21 year old. I am so proud of them and their accomplishments. The reason I say this is because they had me, the first born, at a really young age (high school) and to see how well they are doing, unlike many others who start off on a bad foot. And then of course I have my wonderful grandparents who would do anything for any of their three grandchildren. Especially me since I was the firstborn hahaha! Well, I'm trying to think of what else I can tell you about myself in the remaining 10 minutes of this assignment. I will say that I do enjoy this class very much and want to acknowledge Prof. Pennebaker's excellent teaching skills. He makes the class so interesting you never want to miss his lectures. As a matter of fact, my exboyfriend to this class and he recommended I take it. Well, I have 6 minutes and I'm trying to think of what else I can inform you on about my wonderful life. Well, I'm from Victoria, TX. (pop. 66,000) My family still resides there. It's funny to see my little brother going to the same junior high I did with all the same teachers. And I can't believe my sister is a freshman also. I remember those days. I wish I could go back to when life was so simple. But no, now it's time to grow up and see what God has planned for me. I can't wait. I pray that each day he's by my side and helping me in any and every way possible. Guiding me to tomorrow. Well, I guess my time is up. I think in the past 20 minutes you guys at the psychology dept. can figure out a little about me by what I just wrote. Hopefully the data will be interesting. Thank you once again for your time. Hopefully I have written some interesting thoughts for you and I can't wait to see how my results turn out. Or do I even get to????
So I'm glad that this assignment is like this beacuse I love journaling and writing my thoughts down. I must have had the most unluck day ever today, and now my mom is mad at me! That sucks. Such is life!! Oh well. I hope that I do well in this class beacuse I really need to boost my gpa up this semester. I can't wait to get my papa john's pizza, I am so hungry. Man I can't wait for Dele to get here tomorrow too. I miss him so much. he kind of pissed me off today though because when I was telling him about my crappy day he had to get off the phone with me. Well I giess I really shouldn't be that pissed off. I'm sure I have done it to him numerous times. that's why I like him, he put up with my BS. Wow its only been three minutes. I don't know if I can keep typing for 20. this is actually harder than I though. my mind is totally blank  right now. Well actually its not because if it was then I would be thinking anything, but I an think about how my mind is blank. so it's really not blank. Ok I think I'm making things a little complicated. oh my goodnes there is this weird noise coming from somewhere in my room. ughhhh these stupid dorms. . Mann I got to a lot of homework to do tonite. Well at least I'm getting one thing done. That's good. la la la. This is getting kind of old. I have about 13 minutes to go, whoops there is the phone I have to go get my pizza is ready. I hope I don't get counted off for this. Man I'm excited about this pizza. Mmmmm can't wait. Man I'm really excited to eat this pizza. Its going to be so good. Man the smell of it makes my mouth water. I'm going to keep writing a little more since I had to go get my pizza. I wonder if my mom called me back. I really don't want her to be mad at me because she gives me allownace on friday. Man that's bad for me to think that. but I was just kidding though. Man I love chicken pizza. Its so good. Man that was I pretty cool assignment. I think I'm going to like psych class!!
As of this moment, I am thinking about my boyfriend and if he truly loves me like he says. I don't think it's possible for him to love me when he gets so angry, but oh well. I notice my textbooks which are collecting dust and have these bright stickers on them. I am also noticing a blinking at the bottom of my computer, which is an instant message from my boyfriend. I wonder what he has to say. I have this funny taste in my mouth after eating Taco Bell food. It isn't too pleasant. My refrigerator is making lots of noise. I think it's broken. Maybe I should get it fixed. No, I'm too lazy. I'm thinking about my boyfriend again. I think he'd make a good couple with his best friend, but I don't know why I am thinking that because I love him or atleast I think I do. How do I know when I'm in love?  I ask myself this question everyday. I don't think I should be because if I was in love I would know. Love is very confusing. My boyfriend makes me really angry sometimes. I haven't had this bad of a temper ever. I think some of his temper rubbed off on me. The refrigerator is making so much noise still. I feel nauseous. I want to join a sorority, but I am not sure which one to join because I have heard bad things about the ones I am interested in. I also want to join a service one, but at the same time I want to join a social one. I think I'm just going to join this service one I heard about today and maybe join the social one next semester or next year. I miss Taco Bell. I used to work there with my best friend. I wish we were still good friends, but now she's weird. Sometimes I feel like she's only friends with me, so she can use me. She tends to do that. I'm worried about her though because she's madly in love, but I don't think the guy she's in love with loves her back. Well I know for a fact that he treats her bad, but then my boyfriend treats me bad. The refrigerator stopped making noise. Yay!  I'm paranoid about me not being able to spell refrigerator properly. I'm confused about the directions. Are we supposed to write until the 20 minutes are over or when we finish?  That is what I ask myself. I'm really sleepy. My eyes feel like they have big, black bags underneath them. I haven't gotten much sleep in a while. People keep staying in my dorm room and I can't kick them out because my roommate, my cousin, wants to chill with them. Sometimes I wish I could just tell people how I feel straight up but that never happens. I think it's because of my relationship with my ex-best friend. She used to get mad just because I told her the truth, so I feel like I'm scarred for life and can't ever speak my mind. Well this assignment was good. I got to speak my mind and release some stress.