ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
I feel a little behind in everything I am doing for school. I have a hard time reading for long periods of time. My eyes cannot stay focused for very long and words become blurry. It's a constant struggle to understand each sentence. I'm not sure if I have always had this problem. I can read novels fairly easy. I really hate being in class with a lot of people. I don't like to interact with them. They seem to be very clueless over the important parts of the material covered in each session. I'm tired of stupid Internet questions that waste class time. If I had a computer question, I wouldn't stop class to ask it and make myself look stupid like most computer illiterate students. Students in psychology seem to pretend that they are interested in what is taught, but they really are not fully in to the subject. There are so many students who claim they are psychology majors, when in fact, after they take Psy301, they'll change their minds to something over and over until they slide into the working class. I cannot understand many of my peers. Their conversations are pointless and insignificant to their life as a whole. They spend so much time conversing over issues that they usually don't care about. I dislike the general public in the college atmosphere. I thoroughly enjoy the professors, but I can't get any intelligent feedback from my peers. I realize I'm not perfect, by any means, but at least I attempt to improve my intellectual state, somewhat. There are way too many sheltered students. I assume that professors have a hard time, especially with freshman, in trying to relate cultural differences. It must be extremely difficult to maintain the patience required to teach any level of pupils. Students forget that they are the ones paying for the class and the professor. Even in college, they still act as thought they're being forced to attend each session and assigned a certain professor. Most of the time, students fail to research their professors before they sign up for their class. I suppose it takes all kinds to make a world.
I am in my dorm room in jester west staring at the keyboard. my friend's dad just bought me a new dell computer because mine was so old that it would not recognize ethernet because the technology is too new. I am listening to an allman brothers band cd that I downloaded and it's pretty good. I don't know if I'm doing this right but I guess I am because I'm just typing what I'm thinking. I had to wake up at 8 this morning for a ta session for calculus which was of no help at all. she gave us the easiest problems ever and the class ran late so I had to walk into my biology class after it had started. it seems in math the teacher always explains things that are so easy and when u get to the homework u find that its nothing like class at all. I am noticing crumbs on my keyboard from the new flavor blasted goldfish extra cheddar I sampled some in the campus store and they were so good that I bought them. ok now it is getting hard to type bc I keep thinking too hard I think. I am now downloading the movie super troopers. the very first thing that I downloaded after getting my computer was the movie yellow submarine. I love having kazaa because I never have to buy cds or dvds ever again. I have an hour until my next class which just so happens to be psy. after that I think I am going shopping because my dad's wife just sent me 100 dollars for a graduation present. my sister is iming me right now. she had an away message about how mondays suck or something so I told her to think about pollyanna haha I thought it was funny. my roommate went outside to study because our room is like 20 degrees below zero at all times. I like my roommate but she is one of those overly caring people. I feel so bad saying anything mean about her though because it seems like I inconvenience her more than she does me. well maybe not I don't know. I thought that the university would match roommates according to their time schedules and interests. haha it was kind of funny because I was just assuming that my roommate was going to be a person who listened to the same kind of music that I do because that was one of the questions that you had to answer. well she does not and she only has like 5 cds and they are probably the worst ever, well maybe not but avril levine is one of them which indicates a total lack of good taste in music for her part. it always makes me wonder when people are really smart but they like dumb things like she has serendipity. I am a big john cusak fan but that movie was awful everything they said sounded so practiced and forced it was disappointing, and I probably spelled that wrong I can never remember if there are 2 s's of 2 ps and maybe there are 2 of both I don't know I guess ill look it up after I am finished with this. which I almost am I have less than one minute left woo hoo no I'm just kidding, this wasn't too bad and I got to practice my typing. I can type pretty fast but I look at the keyboard and I
This seems hard to do. I am not exactly sure just what I am thinking . The music Im hearing is not bad shit at all. there is this girl I liking her. she is cool as shit . Im anticipating going to a soulfood party in a little while . I finally feel like I am on top of things this and the girl put in a fan-freakin -tastic mood . thinking thinkin I hope me and my roommate stay friends and we don't want to rip each others heads off  by the end of the year nas is cool . is that what I am hearing ? not sure. I am afraid of computers . I wish this dam assignment could have been done on loose-leaf no. the theory about computers- I don't want to learn how to use computers because they will eventually be so easy to use you could be a paraplegic(spelled that wrong) with no arms (chino) and still work one. 20 minutes seems long . this ain't that bad  I hope no one reads this if so how is it (mobb deep) going take a break or a leak 69 this assignment can't be done wrong can it? my friend keeps putting on different hip hop in the back ground. purple haze home beer I have not drank nearly as much liquor as I wanted to  since I got here or as much as I used to back home you can't drink in the streets here and all those other rules are really retarded . is that dela soul ? ---yes  niceah that girl  my neighbor to say the least . that would be cool as shit if it lasted  hip hop find it man or no wait up play biggie smalls that song that starts off with his beeper going off I can't type someone finally agrees with my theory on computers walker is an arrogant bastard . !!!! sucka after that put on the one I want to hear yeah  time is almost up uuuu this song I was good wu tang mystery what must go on I want to stop now  I can not type for skit it has been twenty minutes? I am not sure so I will continue wu tang wutang wutang wutyang wwutangwutangwutang the wu why did they drop out of their tour punk ass niggas --quote tupac don't shed a tear for nigga. these boots were made for walking? your mom. the potato in the Saturday night fever stance nice drawing really tazwhat a tool this is getting to the point of using only one finger I want to learn how to speed read . the play rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead just popped in there I think I went over the allotted time see you later peeeeeaaaaacccceeee
I returned to Austin Monday night at about 12:30 a. m. thinking I would be able to simply crawl into bed. Wrong. Upon opening the door to my room I was mugged by an extremely intoxicated friend. Her name was Sally and the source of her angst was my best friend Sean. They, as I am, are both from Houston. They had broken up their one-year relationship two weeks before they were to leave for UT. Unfortunately, they both reside in the private dormitory The Castilian. Unfortunately only because there is an exorbadent amount of tension between them, and I being friends  with both of them, am forced into an awkward situation. Sally declares she is "so totally over Sean" and is willing to forgive, forget, and become friends. Simultaneously, she has been extra nice to me, extra offense to Sean, and picked up a nasty habit - getting totally plastered every night she has been in Austin. She has a lot of frustration with Sean, and regardless of what she thinks, needs to find more positive ways of venting it. Sean's feelings toward Sally are fickle and skeptical. Sean addresses some  interesting questions Sally is unable to answer. Such as, why all of a sudden do you want to  be "friends", what do expect from our friendship, and why did you suddenly latch onto Bryan as a friend. Sally's motives remain unclear and yet she doesn't seem to want to  discuss any of the many issues at large. In turn, this makes the situation of the three of us living within 20 seconds of each other an awkward one. Am I to take a side? Most definitely not!!! I refuse! Yet how can I befriend both Sally and Sean without functioning as a mediator. This is one of the many issues that trouble me and make the transition from High School to Huge UT College life challenging. Thank you.
Well, this is definetly the first assignment of its kind that I have ever done, I can only hope that i can find enough things to think about for 20 minutes, wait 28 minutes and 30 seconds. That was some math I was hoping to avoid. I wish it wasn't so early, as a matter of fact I shouldnt be awake right now, my next class doesnt start for two hours, nap time, YES! oh wait no thats not right There is still that whole writing thing I'm doing. Come to think about it this is a fairly effective way of making sure that all the students put the same amount of time, and at least a comparable amount of effort in there assignment. For better or for worse. At least the week has begun. In high school thats the last thing I would be thinking early on a monday morning, but it's how I feel now. Upon self reflection though I realize it's not just my insatiable lust for learning that drives me on in the week but rather a combination of that and the fact that I had to work all weekend. Oh well the week will be like a little vacation for me. Looking around the room I see some posters, some course sylabi, some empty cups, textbooks, oh yeah posters. The last one that I got from those irish vendors downstairs, where in Ireland did they say they were from? Can't Remember. Anyway the poster was one I had somehow missed the first time around, hard to imagine since its so darn cool. It's a nice photograph of an H bomb, its really the peice of art that allows the Zen of my tiny dorm room to be complete. right. Ok almost half way there. almost. almost. yes. Good. Even though this is a course assignment I feel very idle, a feeling that I don't particularly like. don't get me wrong I like not having anything to do but I have stuff to do, and was actually set to do it this fine morning. I wonder if the tracing of consciousness would be interrupted by catching up in the reading in my philosophy (abortion, everyones favourite topic). Well of course it wouldn't, but I am sure my ability to trace it would be impaired, and we wouldnt want that to happen. The abortion chapter in philosophy has really gotten me thinking (also thinking I need to finish that first chapter). It was something that I had never given much thought to other then what I saw or read in the media, or touched on in political discussions. I had always considered myself largely pro-choice, but being confronted with logical philosophical arguements has led me to rethink my stance and now I have absolutely no idea what to think about the issue. Of course there are an untold number examples of things that are philosophically logical, but practically not practical (I wonder of unpractical is a real word, yeah it must be, damn). Was there something about us not going back and changing what we wrote the first time? If there wasnt there should be. Except maybe with they dozens of typos I am constantly correcting. three seconds left bye. Continue writing? I don't think so.
Today has been the worst and most stressful day ever. All I want is for  something to go right!  I tried to dot his paper about thirty seconds ago but it didn't work because again I've messed something up! I was talking about this in my last stream of consciousness paper that I thought was gone but realized after I had erased half o of it that it was really still there! AAhhh!  Can something please go right?   My Ethernet card was not properly packaged and is causing me and a few others serious drama because we've all been trying to make it work for four days now. I don't even know if I'm supposed to push enter when I get near the end of the line but I figure better safe than sorry as far as grades go. I just looked at the clock and I've only been writing for four minutes. Why does time go  by so slowly when it counts. Speaking of timing, mine is the worst!  I always like guys either before or after they like me but never while they like me. Whenever I like a guy I'm to shy, stupid, scared,  immature to let him know, and by the time or if he likes me I have lost interest!  Or they never have interest in the first place and I find that challenging and will pursue that guy instead  of the  one who likes me!  Or in one case I'll find out that after liking me four two straight years, he decides to change sex preferences when I like him. AHHH!  Actually I had my chance and now I'll have to live with regret forever, or until he wants an opposite sex relationship!  Ten minutes to go and I'm running out of self-deprecating and embarrassing stories of my miserable unromantic life! I want someone who respects the fact that I'm not a traditional female and that likes my odd sense of humor and is also funny himself and finds me attractive. . Which reminds me as I look above my roommates computer of another guy who I let slip through the cracks Even though there was a slim chance of anything ever happening, I never acted on my feelings,  Wait a minute I did spill my guts while playing truth or dare with him and other friends. I wish I could play truth or dare with the other guy I like(d) so that he'll know that it was me and not him that kept us ;apart, I liked you then and I liked you up until I found out there was no chance for us and I resented you a little!  Someday I'll get up the courage to tell him!  It is about twenty degrees Fahrenheit in my lovely room in Jester East on the tenth floor. The air Conditioning vent is blowing right in my face as I type. I have been having stomach problems all day, and they are starting to resurface,  I almost passed  out at the draw for the football game against Rutgers this Saturday, I refuse to paint my face half orange and half white as my roommate hopes I will. One minute to go and I'm starting to feel relieved that I wont have to think about this particular assignment ever again. Five percent of my grade is secured and pretty soon I'll be doing those psych experiments and that will be easy too. I'm majoring in psychology but I used to want to be an architect. Oops, I got carried away and wrote one minute over, now it is two.
3:34 twenty minutes to write what I am thinking Well, I am writing this at a time when I should be in class, but at least I am doing my homework. Between reading the book and doing the writing assignments, I think I have this class covered. I must admit I hate missing class because there are so many hotties in the class. When ever I get bored listening to the discussion that is merely a repetition of info in the book, I can stare around at the hundreds of fine chicks in the class. Don't get me wrong the class is interesting, but that's my thought. The guy that is sitting next to me smells bad. I know him, and has just said hello, The only reason I know him is because he is in many of my music classes, and his girlfriend is Hot. Holy shit, she just came in here to talk to him. This is really fucked up. I am trying to evesdrop as I write this. He is telling her what to do. oh wait they are noticing me, she left. Why does she date hIM? He's so nasty. I'm hungry, I ate not to long ago, maybe I want a cigarette. Busy busy busy, have a trombone lesson at five, still have to get my instrument from the instrument NAZI. He was on the sick out we all hate him. Some dude I don't know came up to the guy next to me and pretended to be him girlfriend by rubbing his shoulders, It was funny, I am really starting to get tired of this, but hey anything for a good grade. I am thinking to much abbot what to write. what to think. I am hungry, I wonder what happened in class today I'll just read the next chapter of the book, I like the book it is interesting. Lots of people in the lab today, feel kind of weird writing, can't wait tell Friday, actually every day is good when I am not in class and don't have anything to do. The dude next to me started talking to me, I hate him, I don't even know what he said. Hey 3:54 see you bye
Why must it be so hard?   Why must I live like this?  Would it not be better if I simply throw away my life?  It would be so much easier. I wouldn't have to worry all the time about people's criticism. I wouldn't have to worry about making mistakes. But then, I'm human am I not?  Aren't we social creatures?  If I seperate myself from others, would I not cause myself harm?  Would I not also cause others pain?  A life lost is a gift lost. It is so difficult for me to live like this. Always in pain. But sometimes I gain a sense of glory when I live through the sufferings. It's as though these sufferings are meant to makme stronger. Like steel being tempered in a hot flame. Yet, there's still more pain to come. Will I survive?  surely there will be a point when I will not get stronger and break. But then how will I know where my limit is?  whether I live a mediocre life or on to te fullest, I will die. However, it seems as though the latr fashion of life is better. Therefore, with spirit, I will strive to live out that lifestyle. I try each moring, to fight the tempatations and do what is expected of me. If I live this way and think that it is the best way. Should I not persuade others to do the same?  Why not?  It seems that if everyone lived their life more fully, mankind will be more efficient and fruitful. We will  prosperous as  whole. But if I were to tell this opinion to others, someone will tell me that I should respect their opinion that they can do what ever they wish. But if it is right to repect all the opinions of all people. Would there not still be a conflict which contradicts that opinion that says that we all must respect the opinion of all?  For example, what if someone else's opinion is that people should not accept all opinions as truth. Would not the opinion of the person saying that we should respect all opinion be contrary to that opinion?  This brings about a lot of contradictions. Hence, notall opinions are to be respected.
It is just past one a. m. and I feel like doing this now. I'm not really tired and know that I should go to bed because I have to go to class at eight tomorrow. I've done all of my homework and am extremely bored. I just got off the internet with my boyfriend back at home, which would be Conroe. He's lonley just like me and we have been talking for about three hours. I miss him a lot and don't quite know what to do. I really don't have a lot of friends here. I had seven best friends that I grew up with since around fourth grade and all seven of them went to A&M. I really feel left out. They all e-mail me and tell me what a great time they are having and I wish I were with them. I've wanted to come here since I was in fifth grade though, so this is a dream come true for me. I just wish I had someone to talk to. They were always there for me and we always had a great time. I also miss my family, which is probably to be expected in the first weeks of college. My brother called me today, he is 13, and told me that he just got a new dwarf hamster and I know he got it just because I told him last week that they were the cutest things. He takes everything I say to heart, even if he dosen't know it. My mom's and my brother's birthday is in a week and I'm not sure if I can get home. I wasen't able to bring my car up here so I'm stuck at the mercy of my roommate. I just want to be there for their birthday's. If my roommate dosen't go home though then I'm stuck up here. I've known Sara for quite a long time. For about eight years. We've never really been best friends or anything but we decided to room together because we knew we could trust each other. She is pretty neat, although she does complain a lot. I have really nothing against here though. I'm kinda hungry, if you would like to know that. Instead of eating dinner I went down the hall and watched the MTV music awards and ate candy and popcorn and I'm still hungry. I don't want to have to get up in the morning. When I scheduled my classes I should not have put four classes in one day, but I had no choice. I'm really regretting it now though. Homework is hard to do if it all has to be done on the same day. I'm also taking an aerobics class and it is quite fun. I never expected it to be so physical though. I know you are supposed to exercise and all, it's just that it hurts. I am so out of shape and it just makes me aware of that fact. My eyes are getting all fuzzy. And it is very cold. I'm getting tired now and I think it is because of all the blue writing on the white background. I wasen't tired before. So, my twenty minutes is almost up and I might go to bed now. I doubt it, I am a night person. I'd rather stay up all night and sleep all day. That would be great. Well, I'll talk to you in the next writing assignment.
Stream of Consciousness Where could she have gone? She has been gone for 12 hours now and she did not even tell me where she was going. She left at 1:30 in the morning and it is now one in the afternoon. All she said was she was going to buy cigarettes and she would be back in fifteen minutes. Oh God what could have happened to her. I do not know what I would do with out her. Rally what would I do if she wasn't around anymore. She is my best friend, my sister. We have been through so much together. She knows everything. Every secret, every feeling, every lie, every cry, everything. Please be okay, please be okay. Where could she have gone? She could have gone to A&M to see Adam. Or maybe she went to Waco to visit Mark. No she wouldn't do that; she has not talked to Mark since Monday. She wouldn't just leave without telling me where she was going. Maybe she went to see Charlie at Southwest. No, she couldn't have. They were in a fight last time she talked to him. Please just be safe. I am totally helpless right now. I have called everyone and left everyone messages. Who is going to call her mother? I have to tell her. No one else can do it. She is my mom too. I am the only one close enough to her to tell her what is going on here. She is there, in Houston, and she is going to freak out when she finds out here daughter has been missing for 12 hours now. I hope Susan is all right. I am going to be so relieved when I see her, if I see her. Relived, I am going to be pissed. How could she not call and tell me where she was going? It is the responsibility of a roommate to tell the other one where you are going. Who else can I call? I have to call somebody. Somebody has to know her whereabouts. I can't ever talk to anyone right now. I am hysterical. Calm down; just clam down, Cara. Everything is going to be okay. Should I wait to call her mom until after I talk to the police? NO that is wrong. It would be one in the morning when the police would finally do something. She couldn't do anything then. She would be as helpless as I am right now. That is not fair to her. She wouldn't be able to do anything at one in the morning. She would be totally freaked out in tears. Okay breathe, breathe. You can do this. Just dial the number. Come on push the buttons. Stop crying and do what you know you have to do. Stop crying, Cara.