today is good I do not have many classes I just have to get up to be in class by 930 and that really sucks I want to be with tiffany but I don't know if I can trust her I think about her all the time and although I am half to blame I don't know if the break up is all because of me I triggered it but I don't know if she wanted to break up or me break up more my Andrew is working out okay he is in class it was good that he only a friend no anything greater I mean like a best friend I can only imagine living with a best friend wanting to chop his head we would just argue about stupid stuff tiffany is so wrong I don't understand anything when it comes to her I know nothing was fair yet I wanted to believe it was what is wrong with me it is funny how things that are so important matter to no one else and although someone can have empathy they still don't understand everything is different I want to know what to do I know that is not possible it bothers me I need to do good in school I want to be someone who be comfortable I guess relying on money is what I have for now I just feel that I would be proud to support a family the way I want them to be supported but will that affect the way they are going to be brought up I want to be a good father I want to do so much but I would do nothing if I could just have some answers if I could be certain for once man I miss the old days but at the same time I do look towards the future I do think about how things will be different how I don't know what the future holds and who knows it could be good or bad I learn either way I feel I am learning a lot and changing that is what I love I want to change to a better person I guess better can only be what I hold as better not society so I guess what I am saying is that I want to be secure of myself I want to be sure I know I can figure something out I know nothing is going to be easy about it and I don't expect immediate results I just want to make something of myself but I want to have answers and I want to have love all these things confuse me and make me feel alone I have to work on them it seems everything else is so trivial so pointless I don't know though I have yet to figure out what I want my future foundations to be I am trying to be picky because it is me I think society has some things wrong of course I mean it is democracy majority wins I don't think the majority is always right although they do count for some things this topic just blows me away I mean why do people do drugs and alcohol people have many different reasons I think if everyone can be responsible and do it to enjoy themselves if it possible I think it is okay I don't know though I don't really know anyone who can but I haven't thought much of the subject I mean I particularly think that alcohol is worse then marijuana I know both are not good for your body I wonder if it therapeutic in any way though how they allow that temporary escape I know you should deal with your problems and not run and it is harmful to be trapped by hiding in substance abuse but sometimes you things take time and maybe substance abuse can be used as therapeutic I don't know maybe I am full of it sometimes I feel I know what I can handle I know there are limits to be set and I feel I can exceed some I feel everyone has there own limits and I feel those people who cannot respect there limits are the reason for the universal set of limits makes me kind of mad but that is okay of course it would happen but I wish the limits I wish I could push sometimes could be understandable although I know they can't I know what they are and if I don't that is how I find out so maybe it isn't so bad to push the limit you find out where you go overboard and you can build from that and help others then again sometimes you are only one chance and sometimes it is only luck keeping you from screwing everything up when test limits I mean everyone test limits I just feel more respect for people who know there limits I would listen to someone more I feel so clueless the universe is too much for me