Right now I am sitting here. The washing machine is very loud. My nose is  really stuffy. I really like that band brandston that I saw the othernight. they were  really nice and really cool. I can't wait until I get to hang out with steven. I really  missed him while I was in austin. stupid nose itches. I don't understand why randi  and I seem to not be as close anymore. Its kind of sad. She has been my best  friend for 5 years. Its really ironic that steven is now my best friend. who would  have ever thought? "Don't come crying back to me. When you're lonely and all out  of love" is a song lyric from brandston that is going through my head constantly  causing me right now to basically only be able to think about that one specific  song. Its a very nice song. Very simple, yet it manages to me a very interesting. I  can't believe that I still have 17 minutes left to type. Its usually very hard for me to  type stream of consciousnes, I've tried it before in a humanities class for some  reason. I can't ever seem to really put what I'm thinking on paper. that's why its  hard for me to write or keep a journal. I even lie to myself on paper. I wonder why. I also wonder why Mikey is the way he is with me. I can't believe I ran into him last  night. He completely ignored me. That really hurts my feelings because we were  really close. At least I thought so. I really need closure. I hate myself for not  hating him. My nose is running again now. It's getting in the way of my typing. I  am so stressed out right now about biology. The house is completely silent right  now except for the washing machine. The dorm is never this quiet. I think maybe  that's why I like the dorm. Because its loud. Ow, I just hit my ear that I just pierced. Its really sore. The pain only lasts for a split second though. Its not as hot here in  amarillo as it is in austin. the weather here for labor day is perfect. I think I will go  and walk my dogs. I just sneezed again. I am sick of sneezing. Stupid allergies. I  need to print my chemistry notes and my chemistry homework. I also need to read  chapters 3 and 4 for psychology. I am behind. I am so worried about my  biology. I don't understand it and because of that I am not focusing as hard on my  other classes. However, government should be easy. I've taken that class before. Psychology is fun, but I really do not know what to expect on my tests. I don't know  how I will do in that class. I thought chemistry was easy, but apparently it isn't easy  at all. someone is getting ice from the refrigerator. I can hear it. wow, does my  mind really jump this much?  that's really interesting. I guess I am sort of truly  typing in a stream of consciencous. am I even spelling that right?  I usually can  spell. I feel like everyone else at UT is smarter than I am. I am not used to that.  I'm always the smartest. No one here knows my reputation. no one knows that I  am smart. But maybe I'm not smart. Maybe I am just lucky. My little puppy shinobi  isn't eating anymore. Maybe its because of his shots he got yesterday. I really  missed my dogs. zeb was very loving yesterday when he saw me. He licked me  all over. I love dogs so much. but its ironic because my dogs aren't normal and don't  show me the same amount of love dogs usually show people. other dogs like me  more. just my luck. I had to explain what I am doing to my mom. this is all  interesting. the fan is on now. my legs are cold. I think I'm sick. I want to listen to  my new cd again. I can't believe that I got to talk to further seems forever and get  put on the guest list for another show of theirs. too bad I didn't go. I can't believe  mikey thought they were terrible when he saw them. oh well, he is probably just  tying to be "emo" and all cool and is just saying that to be different and to fit in with  the people  that he holds up on a pedestool. why did I ever date a guy like that?  and why am I still so attracted to such a stupid jerk?  I hate people like him. why  has he changed?  my stomach is hurting now again. I don't like being sick. I need  paper in order to print. and a USB cable. I hate that my printer doesn't work in my  dorm. I brought it for nothing. I bought some new cartridge too. its all a waste. I  can't return it. well for thanksgiving or something I will bring the printer home and  have my dad try to fix it. being home doesn't feel like home really. just feels like I'm  visiting. which is really what I'm doing. my nose is itching again, I think I am going  to sneeze again. I feel like I've been typing for 2 hours. someone just opened  something. I don't hear my dogs anymore. I wonder what they are doing. my  stomach is still hurting. the air conditioner just turned on. I heard it. I don't usually  hear these things. that's strange. my eyes are drooping. I'm tired. I haven't slept  well for a couple days. Why does he hate me?  I really wish I would just be brave  and confront him. I always say I'm going to, and I really think that I am going to, but  then I chicken out and if anything, I am extremely nice to him only to have him  ignore me. further seems forever was so good the other night. the energy  around me at the concert was so good. I was up in front. that was great. the new  lead singer was great. I need to go to more places like that in austin. I just typed  that sentence with my eyes closed. I am really falling asleep. my parents are  talking. I can hear them. my dad is selling my car. that makes me sad because I  really like my car. Even though I am getting a better car.