Right now, I am thinking about my chemistry homework and test. I am very nervous about it and I am worried that I may not succeed to my fullest potential. I am also very nervous and anxious about doing this writing assignment because I have never done this before. I'm also listening to music because it helps me to relax. I am cold and sometimes in makes it difficult to concentrate because my attention is focused on my coldness. I pretty much just look around the room every single day and it helps me to think things through. I also think about the things I have done wrong in my life and how it is that I can go back and correct them. There is this person I love so much with my entire heart, but I don't like him hanging around my best friend. Wait, its more like I don't like for her to hang around him. Yesterday, she just freaked me out because she just came up to us, my friends and I, and she just leaned on my boyfriend. What kind of a friend is she to do that? She knows that I hate for her to be around my boyfriend. And every time she is around him I end up getting mad at him, when, in reality, I should be getting mad at her. There are so many things I want to tell her, but I'm afraid I'll end up hurting her, but I feel she needs to know that it does hurt me a lot when I see her flirting with my boyfriend. She has always been boy crazy, its just that people don't know that. Every time she is around him I get this ugly feeling in my tummy like there is something very wrong. And then today just out of nowhere I told her that she needed to find herself a man, a companion that she could spend time with and stay away from me and my boyfriend. I know I shouldn't say that, but its true. I have always been very insecure about myself, but my boyfriend always tells me that I am beautiful and that he loves me very much. I truly believe him and in my heart that we love each other. Its just my best friend somehow interferes. I figure is she keeps on doing that I am going to let her know how I feel because I don't want to keep my feeling all bottled up inside of me. First of all, I have never been able to deal with my feelings so I pretty much just kept them bottled up inside. I don't know why I did that but I did, up until the time I started going out with my boyfriend. He changed me and the way I felt about myself and I cherish that because he has made a huge impact in my life. I love him so dearly. Anyways, enough about that. I talked to my dad about an hour ago. I call him every day, twice a day in fact. I am what you call Daddy's Little Girl!" I am very proud to say that because I love my father very much. He has done so much for me and I wish there was a way that I could give something back. The thing is I used to be able to tell my dad everything, but then something changed. I stopped telling certain things. I guess he kind of saw me as something I wasn't and that made me very sad. In fact, I'm getting teary-eyed right now. It's like my father had this whole other image of the daughter he wanted. I tried to tell him that I was different, but he just wouldn't understand. And now that I am over here at college its like, I wish I could take back every bad thing I did to him. I want to tell him everything that has happened in my life, some good things and some bad. I want him to know all the obstacles and temptations that I have encountered throughout the past few years. I feel he needs to know what his daughter has gone through in her life. A few days ago when I talked to him, I felt homesick. When I hung up with him, I started crying. I poured my heart out right in front of my boyfriend. I told my boyfriend everything about how I wanted to have a better relationship with my father. I want to let him know that I love him so much and that I appreciate him for everything he has done for me. I also miss my mom because she has always done things for me and taught me different things. She is special to me because of who she is. I love her dearly. I miss my little brother and older brother too. I also miss my dog and my cat. They are like my children. They are growing up without their mommy and that makes me sad. I want to be there for them. I love my dad, mom, brothers and boyfriend. I hope they know that they mean a lot to me and that I am lucky to have them as a part of my life.