I have a stuffy head and runny nose, and I have to carry cleanex around with me and it;s kind of embarassingf to vlow your nose in class and its feels gross and clogged. I look for nice looking peoople to sit next to in class and I feel like eceryione feels the same way about being here, like its all brand new and and no one is totally comftorable and we're all looking for a place to be comftorable. there are a bunch of girls around her ea and its funny how little contact with guys I've had in the past couple of weeks. I miss the guys in knew and was friends with in highschool and danny but I don't really miss him, but id like to see him again and talk to him. the guys here are pretty much attractive but I guess that since I'm in a new world I walk around t\afraid to talk to anyone really except for nice looking girls. I've met people, but I am totally stressed out and I'm going a bunch of different directions, and I can't focus on anybody and I can't calm myself down. veronica is comingf up today or tomorrow for a visit and I wonder how it will be especially since I've been so stressed out. I can't believe I slept for over nine hours and I don't feel completely rested. it totally understand how people pay for caffeine pills here, because this is only the third day of class. excercise will help relieve my stress I think, so I'm going to kickboxing in a little while. the only thing about that is I don't even know where the damn building is, and I have to run past this strange campus past a million strange people to take a brand new class I've never been to, and I;ll probably feel guilty because I haven't even started to stud7y yet. I know ill be ok but right now I'm making it very hard for myself to have much fun. I wonder what I'll we'll do tonight? I really want a zeta to call me and ask me to go out. even though its c razy I would have loved to be dragged out of bed and taken out to eat at six in the morning, but no one every came for me, and as far  as I know no one ever called for me either. its a good thing because I needed to work out and sleep like I did and not drink. its even a wednesday and they took us out to party hardy, I don't know how these fgirls can run, because they even look fgood and have boyfriends and make food grades and go out and study and sleep. I guess its all time management and I'l;ll e\definately be forced to learn it, at least I have tom ake mysels learnit ior ill go crazy. I want to go call a zeta and hjand out with her because we will be friends one day and probably be partyingh together four years from now, hopefully. I think the purpose of a sorority must be not so much to give you a place as a freshman, whichis nice and it does do, but it makes a small close world for you of very cool poeople when you are a sopjomore and a junior. I don't know how much I would want to be conected to the sorority my senior year, but just the girls and the people I had met from being a part of it. it think  it would be somewhat like cheerleading was, where by your junior and esp senior year you aren't really interested int he younger girls, and you really do your own thing. but that owould be awesome anyway because at that point hopefully I;ll be absorbed into my new life and begining a career. I have to miss the first ut football game!!I wish the zetas had a section, but maybe I can go to the tailgate party anyway if I find someone to go with, and veronica will bve here. I hope when she leaves I don't geet homesilck like I did nwhen momm and the fgirls came up. I can't believe I've really only talied to daddy once since I left san antonio. he sent me a nice letter and a nicer jchekc but too bad that a hundred dollars won;t go to o fast. being at ut in austin I dfeel like I'm in a totally different world, and I ,\can really see whant they meant about not having the time or interest to go visit other campuses. I just htought about how much fun it will be to go to aand m tosee the cross country team run, but it feels like it would take monumental organization and effort to bget up there, especially not having a car. onely four more minutesleft to type. imi liking this assignment because it reminds me of the creative writing class wiht mrs cummings nadnd how I enjoued myself in there and the free writings we would have which got easier and easier to do as the time went on, and I culd see myself more and more on the paper,and the way my thoughts went. I really like journaling but its uncomfroable to werite and I walways stop to do it late at night when I'm tired and if I do it in the morning it is eems like I get latzy and don't want to get out of bed aftereards, and I have to re read it and see all the obsesive stuff about brett wihich I am forgetting forutunately and unfortunatley. the way it isi I'm glad I don't have a boyfriend, bnot because I can run around a nd get play or do stuff with guys, but v\beecause it hink it would hadd another huge element of stresssand I really don't need that right now. I thought vivian is so gorgeous and her bf is not that cute. andni told bvern to say hi to jason for me, hut to just because I liked him and thought he was a nice guy but not because I was interested or flirting at all, or had been thin,king babout him. now the says she told him he shoul come to austin with reza, and that would be fun, but I'm thinking kind of weird too, and I don't reallywant to party with reza or old high school friends if I'm there only because of veronica and jason who lives in san antonio. I know I'll have a fun weekend because thats the only option up here, but I hope I get lots of sleep too. all done