I'm writing this assignment feeling kind of strange because I attempted it yesterdays on my st and my computer froze right when the timer said 19:59. very ironic. I feel very tired right now and really unmotivated. I have a lot to do and I don't feel like doing anything. I wish I could just go to sleep. I need a lot of attention from people these days and I'm just not getting it. matt took my car to san antonio to go to court and he apparently forgot to tell me about it. seems very convinient of him but whatever. he is acting weird, and different but he doesn't know or doesn't see what he's doing. it seems pointless for me to even get angry or bothered by it and I'm slowly beginning to not care. but that will be his loss because he will realize that he should be paying a little more attention to school, sleep, and me then to the things that he is focusing on. maybe I'm just overreacting though, because I seem to do that so well. I don't feel like being here, my head hurts, and I smell burnt popcorn in the hall way. I have a long day tomorrow and my last class is over at 5. I don't know what the day will have in store for me, hopefully I will be able to focus on my studies and not worry about all this other stuff that's bothering me. I need to realize that I can make myself happy and I don't need someone else to make me happy. I don't even know why I'm rambling on about this, its just always in my head I suppose. I hope I get a new car. my dad said I can maybe get something now from the money well get from the insurance. but who knows what kind of car he's going to get me. It will probably be something crappy like I have now. but I can't complain, something is definatly better than nothing, at least in this case. my economics book came in today. finally, becasue I was starting to stress that I was going to get too far behind. I really need to sit down with my books and my notes and try to really comprehend everything. even though I do try but I need more. I need to focus on doing that for all of my classes. but economics and chemistry are the main ones that I might have difficulty in. just because they are very mathy subjects. I might stay at the appartment tonight but I probably won't because I have such an early class tomorrow. well see what happens I suppose. I think matts court started already and he didn't even call me to let me know that he got to town safely. oh well, like I said I'm slowly starting not to care about all of these little things. that might be bad though because it might lead me to not care at all, about anything. it feels bad to feel like you're on the back burner, or that things have changed, though one person might like the change its not good unless both people involved agree with or like the change. I'm so tired right now I could easily go to bed and not wake up until tomorrow. but I can't do that because I have entirely too much work to do. tonight I want to get caught up with my psychology eradings, and I want to study my chemistry and continue to work on hw assignment number two. my roommate just went to heb to get nick a birthday cake. I hope all of that works out ok. if matts still not back ill probably stop by the study lounge to tell him happy birthday but I'm really not into all that socializing that everyone does. I'm usually either really wrapped up with my work or with matt. I don't know how good that is but it makes me happy and that is what counts to me. I just hope it counts to him. oh well. I met with my mentor group earlier. they're all really nice people and I hope I get to know them a lot better as the year progresses. its a pretty fun experience. this weekend should be fun. I'm going to meet up with my friend laura in san Marcos and go see some people that I haven't seen in a long time. I hope I can scrounge up something to wear, because I need to do laundry and I need to go shopping,  I have like no clothes anymore, I don't know what happened. my sister is complaining to me about me having her shirts so ill have to give her back her clothes if I see her this weekend. I hinestly don't feel like going home though. it gets too awkward for me. I don't know what but I don't really like it. I'd rather just stay here and study or like watch TV then go home and feel awkward with my family. I have so much to do and I'm starting to stess out and the semester has only begun. I can already see that college is going to be very hectic. I hope I can handle it alright. wow the time is up.