ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
Hello my name is Joey michael Kindred and I am a biology major. I plan to go to medicall school some day and I hope to become an orthopeodic surgeon. I did not become interested in orthopeodic surgery until I hurt my knee the first game of the football season my senior year in high school. I tore three ligaments and blew seventy percent of my cartilage in my left knee. I used to want to be an orthodontist until this injury but my interests changed with the surgey and all. School is very importtant to me although in high school I can honestly say that I did not try my hardest. I did weell enough to get by and to get into the University of Texas but I did not do my best. From this point forward I strive to be the best that I can be in school and whatever I do so that I can get into a medical school, hopefully somewhere in Texas. I grew up and lived most of my childhood in dallas texas and that is where my dad lives. I have a lot of friends that live there and I really like dallas. It holds  a special place I my heart because of all of my experiences there. I moved to mIdland texas in the seventh grade and went to high school there at midland high. it is really neat to hear you talk about midland, Dr. Pennebaker, in our class. I had many great thigns happen to me while I was in midland and one of those things is my long term girlfriend of five years, Katy Kelly. She means the world to me and I  hope I mean the  world to her. She ended up at texas tech university but hopefully she is going to transfer to UT at the start of next school year for the fall of 2000. I am going to las vegas with her and her family in september for her birthday and I think that will be fun. it will be hot in las vegas and I look forward to seeing the beachboys and Alannis Morisette live at my hotel. I miss her terribly and I haven't seen her since the 20 of August. her mom and dad constantly send me email and little care packages and I hope someday I will marry this girl. I want to live somewhere in the country but somewhere that I don't have to drive that far to work. I want to live outside of a big city because I want to be a weell known doctor that people from all over teh country go to in order to get there bones fixed. that has always been a goal of mine and I plan to carry it out. I hope to have kids someday and raise them the same  way my dad raised me because I can't complain. I grew up in a chrch going family and just came to really know the Lord abotu two years ago. Church is very important to me although I havent found a church here in Austin that I am just wild about. I am a freshman yousee and I havenot been heree that long. that is my life story wrapped up in just a little bit of time but I guess that was my stream of conciousness because that is what I thought about when I was writing.
As I am told to write this assignment, I begin my forced thinking by trying to find the correct ideas to write in this paper, instead of thinking whatever I want to in an incomplete and disordered way as I have been used to since I got out of school three months ago. So it's very difficult right nom, and you will notice that I constantly get distracted and start babbling incoherently. I'll try to write this paper very spontaneously so you get the right picture; but be warned. Right before looking at the incredibly outstanding WebPage (yeah right!) for my PSY class, I was thinking where else could I surf the web, or if I should go to the pool here at my Pearl St. Co-op, or if I should start reading a bit, which is a definite NO. I mean, it's Friday!, or if I should write to my parents down in Mexico City, etc, etc. So basically, I was evaluating everything I could possibly do in this boring Friday afternoon, when what I really anted to do was nothing. But I've had exactly three months of that since school in Mexico ended the 25th of May; and I immediately decided to do something productive which is this. I guess my mind is still warming up from all that time of null intellectual activity, and I'll get right back on track again. To tell you the truth, I think I am ready to start doing everything the right way, and not to procrastinate, which has been a big problem since I was born (I guess) or maybe it was because of my upbringing, or just because of the culture which I am a part of. As you may notice, I read chapter one yesterday and I can certainly notice a change in how I view things in my life and the life of others. In other words, I am starting to think in a psychological perspective already!    The 20 minutes are over, and I can say that for a moment there, I was really concentrated and just writing all of this. but just as I noticed that the time was up, I started to wonder into something else again. I think that it was probably because my attention span is a bit short, but I know I'll get better. Thanks for taking a little swim into my spontaneous and disordered thoughts and I hope I was not that boring. Now I guess I've done my productive "thing" for today, and I can take a swim into the pool right in front of me! Or maybe not. we'll see what my mind tells me later.
Right now, I'm thinking about my physics lab and the fact that I did really poorly on that lab. I need to maintain a good gpa in order for me to get into the business school, and I don't want my lab grade to impede my admission. But even if I do get into the business school, do I really want to do something in that field?  I mean I didn't declare a major at first because I didn't want to commit myself too soon to a field of study. i've always been interested in music. i do want to major in that but my parents aren't that fond of the field. so Either I double major, which is impossible in the business school, or I don't do what I really want to do--that is major in music. No matter what I major in, I will have to maitain a very good gpa throughout college since I want to study abroad in england--the country where I've always wanted to live. mainly because of the fact that it is home to my favorite sport of all time--cricket. no one really knows about the sport here. i wish a lot more people did know about it so they could relate to the joy that I feel while watching the sport. i guess to enjoy a particular sport, or anything for that matter, u have to be born in that environment. back in pakistan, everyone loves the sport and it's like a religion. i sure do wish that Pakistan had won the world cup in june. all that hard work went out the window when they played so poorly in the final. anyway, I hope to become a cricketer myself in the future. but that's not a career that is looked upon as being a good one. and the cricket board in pakistan is really a mess. a lot of good players are neglected because they don't have connections with members of the board. i have a cold and I've been sneezing since all day yesterday. god it's so painful to sneeze 24 hours a day. i took a dayquill last night but even dayquills seem to make me drowsy. Now, on top of the sneezing, I have to deal with trying to stay awake in my classes. i'm waiting for my roommate to come so we can go eat. gosh I hate the food in jester. i mean it's the same old stuff everyday. at times like this, I really miss home and my mom's cooking. the weather over here today is pretty good. better than the previous month has been. i want to go play golf but I don't know where any of the golf courses are. i guess I'll ask my roommate's friend who plays golf.
Ugh! Look how nasty and scary that thing is. How stupid he was to stay in the car with that object? Well this a very scary movie, and the only I have seen in a log while, its my roomates faults. Oh, she is a traitor, how about that, never thought it would be her. Isn't there better ways to express your feelings, instead of cussing. The monster got her how gross, and what a painful death. It must of hurt, duh, and the guy trying to save should of just left before he became a victim too. Again another ironic thing the teams leader is who never suspected. Her naked body proves it, why is he so crazy to believe her words. Words speak louder than actions. Look how she transformed her body and the other one is one of her. Man, boy I am getting really frightened of this. My body has chills has the end is narrowing. I have an itch behind my ear,on my leg, foot and head I think due to the fact that I am so scared of the movie and the events that are about to happen. My eyes are widening due to the good guys escape. My head itches more. Yeah he made it I'm happy for. There is one for the good guys.
Im sitting in my room at the towers, and I have to admitt that the room size isnt half bad, ecspecially compared to my older sisters dorm room when she was a freshman. However I do have one complaint, and that is that the room are not taken care of in the least bit. And if I had to approximate the last time this place was renovated, my honest guess would be nineteen ninety-one. Yet I can live with a rather filthy room, but the worst part about living in the Towers has to be the food. The cooks here should go down in the Guiness Book of World Records for being the first people ever to make chicken taste bad. And everytime I go in there i seem to be asking the cook what exactly the food sitting in front of me is. Which through my experience translates into something that is not a good thing. As I look around my room I can't help but notice the fact that my side is far more messy than my roomates, but to be honest this is no concern of mine. Because he eats all of my food. I went pot luck in the towers for my roomates, which means that my rooming assignment is totally random. I havent really decided what my true feelings about my new roomates are due to the fact that we havent really spent time together. This fact is more my fault than it is theirs', because for one thing I am in pledgeship right now so finding time to spend with people is like finding a needle in a haystack. But every once in a while I do get to spend a little time with them, and from those few experiences I can say that Tony, the guy with whom I share a room with, is a very nice person and I believe that we will get along very well. So far the one thing that has kind of tied us together is that fact that we have the same taste in music, which is a major relief to me. My other two roomates who live across the living room from me are both going through pledge ship. And Campbell has been really nice as well, though he seems rather reserved. Yet the one guy that I am not to fond of at this time is my third roomate Joey. Its not that there is hostility between us its just that I try to be as nice as possible to him and try to start conversations with him every time I get yet he just won't seem to respond. Maybe its just a difference in the way we were brought up or something. Because I know when I was in high school this new guy moved in from Chicago and he really kept to himself along with his parents. But the more time I spent with him the more he opened up and now we are really good friends. But the funny thing is that all of the football parents thought that his parents were rud because they didnt really talk a whole lot. And i had to remind my mom that thats how people are in Chicago, and just to give them time because they are really good people.
I just met you. How can this feeling be?  It is a happy feeling. Its just awkward. I haven't felt it in awhile, at least since another soul and I grew apart. Things just faded. Two different people, two different lives. But now the emotion lurks once more in my heart. I try to fight it, but I can't. Something tells me to follow my heart, submit, and give in to the strong, enticing feeling that is just starting a war inside me. Thoughts just continuously rumble through my head; they won't stop. There's no control. I can't change how I feel. This is a crazy world. Everything just seems upside down. There is too much to think about in life. Who ever said it would be this complicated?  I wish there were just a secret to life and somebody would fill me in. I could just do anything I wanted to do. Pleasure could be my sole guide down every path in this extensive journey. The thought of consequences would never even enter my mind. I could live life day by day, and my only obligation would be to live. I would just enjoy life and breathe it in. Too many people today miss out on the beauty of their surroundings, the people they come in contact with and their environment. If a person merely goes through life only seeking material success, where is the true worth in that life?  That person would miss out on everything with true meaning and depth. Therefore, he or she is not really living but merely becoming a trained robot to fit into the machine of our material world. Things are so weird now. It seems that people have lost site of their morals and are only living to climb the corporate ladder. What kind of life is that?  Oh well, everybody is different. What is important to me may not be important to others. I went to Mount Bonnel yesterday, and it was breath taking. I watched the sun set and the stars and moon come out. There was a gentle breeze that would pass over my face and lips and blow through my hair. At that moment, all stress seemed to disappear. It was complete tranquility and bliss. It made me want to just sit up on the mountain, take in the view, let my thoughts run free, and just live.
I have been feeling so different when I arrived here at UT. I just can't believe that I graduated from high school and now here at college. The atmosphere is different here. I feel like I belong here. When I first arrived here at UT,I was scared. I was afraid about how am I going to get from class to class. It's just different here. I'm worried about the exams. There's only 4 exams per class. I'm not used to that. I guess I'm used to spoon feeding from high school. UT is just soooooo huge. I didn't know that UT was this big after orientation. I'm just afraid of my classes. I'm afraid that I'm going to fail. I feel like I'm slacking off. I do my homework and read, but I still feel like I'm failing. I guess I have high standards for myself. I want to score the best that I can get. I'm just afraid that I'm going to drop out of UT. As long as I push myself to stay on top of things then I'll be ok. After the   Gone to Texas  , I feel like I choose the right college. I definitely felt like fit in. My major is Nursing. I kind of lost in finding a major. When I was a kid, you would dream about what you wanted to be. I always said that I wanted to be a doctor. Now, when I think about my future I don't know what I want to be. I volunteered in a hospital and I notice that the nurses are so nice to they're patients. I want to be one of those. I want to be the one who helps out and put a smile on the patients. I want to work with children. After nursing school, I want to become a nurse practitioner. It's just like a register nurse but higher. A nurse practitioner gets to prescribe medication. That's almost like a doctor. Everybody is like   why don't you want to be a doctor?   I'm afraid of malpractice suits. I'm just  My dream is to work at the Texas Children's Hospital in Houston. It's close to home and I like working with kids. They are so much fun. I just hope that I can make it through school. College life is just so different. I miss my parents and my brother. I went back home during the Labor Day weekend. I miss my mom's home cooking. What's weird is that when I left college, my parents got a little puppy.
Well after Labor Day weekend I had come to the conclusion that I disliked the college life. Everything had gone so wrong that weekend. The book store sent me home with the wrong book, I didn't have my "IF" account so I couldn't check my email, and I bought a twenty dollar calling card that is supposed to be better than the one I had been buying and it was a rip off. The tendollar card had more minutes on it than than the twentydollar card, and to top that off the darn thing only had sixteen dollars on it. So my weekend was just a bunch of carp. I am not exactly home sick, but I do miss my baby brother and my fiancé. I went home this past weekend, missed the first football game here, and saw the two people I missed most. It was so cool to be home everybody was so happy to see me, it was great. I am planning on joining a sorority here to keep me busy so I won't get home sick. I haven't really met anyone here yet. The girls on my floor aren't very friendly. When I first got here I was bored out of my mind, but now things are looking better. I am not real in to Sixth Street, but the first week I was here some friends that live here took me there. I got my tattoo on Sixth Street when we were here for orientation. I keep saying we, my best friend and I that is. My best friend is my roommate and she is trying to get me to enjoy it here and not miss home too much. I have to say I do like the fact that my parents can't tell me what to do, and when to be home and all the other things that parents tell their kids to do. I was ready to get away and be on my own. My fiancé is at home going to school there. Hopefully he will come up here next year. We are supposed to get married this summer, but I guess we will have to see what happens. It is so weird to see everyone outside smoking in the middle of the night, and to see people going out at three in the morning. At home we have a curfew, and they are real strict about it too. Other than all that stuff, I am adjusting pretty well to the college life and am learning to love it. Things can only get better, right. I know I made it sound like I just hate it here, but I don't. The weekend at home was enough to hold me off for awhile. That one bad weekend made me think that it was always going to be like that. Next time I will be writing about how much I love it here, and I won' t have anything to complain about.
I don't know how other people (freshmen) are coping with this new transition from high school to college; I feel stress out. Hmm. maybe I'm not so completely at ease like I had claimed earlier. I suppose that I am at ease at this moment is because I don't have any class to go to for hours, and that I think I am at ease right now, is because this is the second week of classes. However, I'm still stress, very much so. (I feel like I'm rambling on and on here. ) I am so very much relief that I have done the pretesting to get one credit hour of the research experiments. I like to try to do things ahead of time so that I won't be in any jams later on. Besides, what with the way my schedule is set, I have to budget my time wisely. Moreover, I am worried that I won't be able to get high grades as I did when I was in high school. Everything in college is so very different and challenging. Sometimes, I feel as if I can't keep up with other people. I admire those people who seems to have everything in control and makes everything so easy to them. I just can't do that. I'm the type that has to put in "extra work" so that I can keep up with them. I'm not saying that I'm stupid, gosh no! I believe that everyone is unique in their own little ways. Hmmm. there is one thing, rather, one small minor fear  that I just can't seem to overcome: fear of animals, especially dogs. Well, I took the pretest and in there, it had asked me questions about animal phobia. I really want to know what these fears mean, which brings me to another thought. I always have questions, such questions that are so detailed some people called it "stupid questions. " I always find myself having questions about everything. I guess  I'm just a curious person. Hmmmm. I guess this is enough typing for this assignment. I can't think of anything else to write about. Who ever is doing the reading on this writing assignment, I'm sorry it isn't anything that is as exciting as you'll like it to be.
I don't know if I should go home or not this weekend. I want to stay, but. I hope my computer doesn't freeze while I'm writing this, that would totally suck  I'm glad I'm getting this out of the way, normally I would wait till the last possible second, but I don't trust computers since I've been here. I really want to like it here but I just don't. All my friends that went to oter schools are having a great time, they're meeting new people doing new things, but evryone I meet bores me, it seems as though everyone is the same. I don't even feel like going out and having fun. The only reason I want to is so mabe I'd come to like UT better. I see so many people I know, its kinda weird, when theres about fifty thousand people here. I'm a business major but the only class that is relavant to busins is my freshman BA class which meets only once a week. I'm afraid I'm not goingto find the parties here that much fun. From what I've heard its just people getting drunk and thats not that much fun. I worry that all the expectations I've had about college are misconceptions. I love this keyboard. I like typing, but I can't use regular desktops, because I can't sit still. I sund like a dumbass when I repeat myself. Alex told me the funniest joke but I can't remember it although when he told me I tried to memorize it. I hate it here when I think about hte people at home. I have no one here. I'm so bored. My classes are boring for the mostpart, and I'm finally getting the hang of schedules and shit. I want to call my cousin, who is my role model and ask if she liked her first month in colllege. She always putwss me in a good mood. Justin says there ids nothing wrong with my comp but why the hell does it keep freezing?  I think twenty minutes are almost up nope I still have bout ten to go. My tth classes are so long. I start gettig restless- that music next door is so loud and I am so tired I want to take a nap. I had to wake upa a t
Entering a big campus with so many different people, how interesting. This will be kind of a new experience, meeting other students just as smart or even smarter. I can bring ideas to this school and to others as well as the school and students to me. Hopefully, I do well, or excel beyond my potential where I can feel proud and to just prove my abilities to myself. Things now are a little different, where I live, what I eat, who I meet. But it seems that everybody has to deal with the same things or hurdles in that everybody are fighting, scratching, or just competing to be the best or is everybody just content to making to college?  Due to their being content, the race for those competing will be easier for them, but are we in a rat race to achieve greatness?  There are also other things in life other thatn to prove that one person is somehow better academically because of a test made by some professor and to the subjects covered by what the professor says, there's to find leisure time when not having to study. School can be easily sluffed off, but students are paying for classes in which makes a person certified to do a job in which that person studied. Money don't grow on trees; people gots to earn it, to feel good about oneself. But it's also the little things that can a person feel good like just getting together with friends and talking, to eat something that's very tasteful, to just observe how folks interact with certain situations and how watching or observing these things can help me without me having to go through, but somethimes some things have to experienced by oneself to fully understand. Things aren't what they always seem just by loooking. College has too much to offer, where everything arent' feasible to understand, and just let things be.