Although I have waited until the very last minute to start this assignment, it was totally out of my control. I've been dealing with getting my laptop and setting up my Internet for about two weeks now. The Ethernet card was finally put into today, but only after harassing the front desk of my dorm about twenty times. So, now I'm connected to all my friends who either moved or do not go to UT. But, even though I might be connected, I barely ever get any real information about their lives from them. One of my best friends moved to College Station to go to school. It might be only a twohour drive, but I haven't seen her in almost a month. That is really hard when before she left we were seeing each other almost every day. And, I don't feel I'm making enough of a conscious effort to keep in touch with her. Maybe I think that if I don't speak to her then I won't miss her. I've also been overwhelmed with the changes of moving away from home, meeting new people, and getting adjusted. So, I might just be extremely busy right now, too much on my mind. I've wanted to graduate high school and be on my own since I was about twelve. I've always been extremely responsible and independent, not really seeing the need for strict authority, parents, teachers, etc. So, I figured moving out of my house and into a new environment would be a breeze. I've adjusted all right. I do my homework, don't stay out late on school nights, and go to all my classes. Psychologically though is a different story. I never realized how much I'd miss my parents, and only now do I really appreciate what they do for me. I got sick about the second week I moved into my dorm, and all I could think about was how I wanted my mom to take care of me. Me, miss independent just wanted someone to cook soup for her and tell her what kind of medicine to take. Also, dealing with campus size has been kind of hard. I grew up in a small town and went to a small high school where I practically knew everyone. I am living with a friend from high school, so that's made it a little easier. But still, I don't feel like an individual anymore. I feel like one in a huge crowd, which is exactly the case. Especially in this class. How do you get to know people when you sit by someone different every day and there are over five hundred people that walk through the doors? That's almost three times my graduating class. Five hundred is half the town of Dripping Springs. It's so different, and yet I'm only thirty miles away from home. I also haven't really found much to get involved with. I'm not into sports, and at this point I haven't really experienced anything that I love doing and want to pursue. The only thing I've really done as a group is me, my roommate, and a friend from one of my classes went to a Pill Start class. Which is what it sounds like, starting birth control. That's another thing, I got to this class, yet I'm not sexually active, and I feel like such a minority here in college. I went to the class as a preventative measure. You now, a just in case it happens when I'm drunk or not thinking straight, or maybe even if I get into a relationship where I actually trust my partner. I have this huge overwhelming fear of pregnancy, and I think that's stopped me from being intimate. And, I'm not sure if that's a good thing. Yeah, it has kept me from having sex, but I'm also in a state of fear about the issue. I'm worried my sister, my friends, anyone and everyone is going to get pregnant and that scares me. I worry so much about other people, and I feel responsible for them. Like, I'm always offering to take so and so to go get birth control. Then, they look at me like I'm a freak and explain to my how there's really no way they can get pregnant. I mean, they are using condoms. And all I can do is look at them and think "OH My God!" How can anyone be so nonchalant about such an important issue? If I ever got pregnant my life would change so much. It's way too much to even think about. And, I don't ever want to have to make the decision of if I should keep the baby. I love children so much, but I don't want them now, when I can't provide for them or give them the life I know they deserve. But, I don't really think abstinence is the answer either. I think that at some point I'm going to just have to get over this fear. I don't have a problem with sex; I just have a problem with all the scary things that can result from it. Ten minutes of pleasure is not worth disease, death, or even a new life (right now).