Here I sit in the Jester computer lab, wishing that I didn't have to     be here. Why don't I have a computer, better yet, why don't I have a     friend that will let me use their computers? College is not like what I     thought it would be. It definitely is as hard as I thought it might be,     school work wise, but I thought that the friends part would come     easily. I have spent 14 years of my life living overseas with     americans. It was a military base in Asia. The people in Dodds     schools systems are incomparable to the people in America. They     are open-minded and excepting. I was raised to believe that all     man-kind was this way. I figured than when I got to college I would     miss my old friends, but be glad to meet some more great people in     this world. But here I sit, in this lab, alone. It's not like what I     expected, and worse than I ever thought. I walk around alone, and     although there are worse things,  I use to be known for being loud     and fun. I was the person that everybody knew, and everybody liked. I was somebody on my tiny base, and in my little high school of a     hundred people. But here, I am another face in the crowd. Of     course I didn't expect college to be just like Turkey (where my base     was), but I didn't expect to have no friends at all. People haven't even     given me a chance here. I'm just hoping that things get better. They     say that everybody has the same fears that I do, but then I see a ton     of people hanging out with friends. Not everybody is in my boat, all     of my friends are either across the Atlantic Ocean, or at least in     another state. I don't want to be a pessimist, and I definitely don't     want to dwell on the bad, but it gets difficult when everything that I do     everyday is a reminder that I am alone. And here I sit in the     computer room typing this thing, not because there isn't a computer     in my room, but because it is my room mate's, and she won't let me     use it. I let her use anything of mine, I don't even understand how     people can actually be so stingy and be okay with themselves. My     friends have always come before my possessions, and people's     feelings have always come first, and I always know when somebody     is feeling down, and I have always tried to help them. I am waiting     for that what goes around, comes around" saying to come into     action for me. Also, I had decided to be a teacher overseas for my     life anyways, have my children grow up like me. This has at least     cemented my life goals for me. My children are definitely growing up     in a military school overseas. The people there are very warm and     accepting, and living among cultures makes everyone open-minded. I don't like the way that the people act here, and most of them don't     even realize what they are missing in this world. They just turn up     their noses and avoid people who are different, and don't like any     kind of changes. I have been through two evacuations from my     base, and I was just fine. I think that I can probably handle a lot     more than other people, and had they been stuck in a situation like     mine, a new place with nobody that they know, they might be feeling     just like me. But I do know that I will get over this, and I will feel even     more blessed to see my friends and live back overseas; and I will be     positive that I am doing the right thing when I give the life to my     children that I had growing up. I think that it shaped my character in     a good way, and if anybody here were open-minded and accepting     enough to talk to me, maybe they would understand that as well. anyways, I'm back, still here in this lab on this same computer. I'm     still here in this school with no body that I know. People keep on     coming in and out. Do they maybe feel like I do? It is so weird to be     standing in a crowd of more than 500 people, and not knowing     anybody's name. But that is 500 people that I could get to know if     they gave me the chance. That thought use to make me happy, now     I hate the idea. I miss my old life. But I wonder, if I feel like this,     there has to be at least one other person that feels like me. One     other person who feels like they don't know anybody. That thought     doesn't make me happy, but optimistic that maybe I will be able to     meet people sometime. In the mean time, I am thankful for all of the     true friendships that I made during my time spent else where, and I     am glad that I at least have a loving family and friends to pick up the     phone and call, no matter how far they may reside from me, I know     that they care. I no that no matter how alone I am on campus, I am     not alone in the world, and every night I go to sleep thinking of my     friends, and smiling. And I know that in my four or five years here, I     will at least make one friend. Maybe even tomorrow, so I'm just going     to stop stressing about today, and pick up the phone and call a loved     one for now.