ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
I finally got all of my Ethernet problems worked out today, so I e-mailed  everyone I know. I wish my mom would call so I could tell her that not only  did I get the package with my Windows 95 disk but I also received my Nabisco  care package. It had all kinds of goodies in it but I haven't yet gotten to eat  any of them yet. I wonder where Scott is. I haven't heard from him since Monday I think. He's probably at work, or playing Magic with Tim and Anthony. I'm glad  I got a card from Julie today, looks like she's having a good time at OU. Maybe  I'll call her before I go to the Red River Shoot-Out in Dallas, or better yet maybe she's got a place to stay in Dallas and I could stay with her. I wish the guys  working outside would be quiet. And for once the girls in my hall are quiet, either that or they aren't there. My fingers are really cold , but they aren't numb yet so I guess I'll live. I'm so excited! I get to  go to my first UT football game on Saturday. But I also get to go to all of the other home football games because I got Season tickets. maybe I'll see my Aggie friends at the A&M game November, Kristine doesn't have an e-mail address yet otherwise Id write her. I  don't think I get to go home again until September the twentieth, but maybe I'll get to see Scott then, unless he comes here, but I don't think that he'll do that because it will end up costing him to much money, then again it will cost me a lot of money too, if I keep going back and forth I hope that Im getting enough sleep to make it all the way through the day. I need to start planning my week like I  learned how at the time Management and Study Strategies Seminar I went to on Sunday I think I need to take a nap. I wish I had some nail polish remover, I need to repaint my toenails. I wonder if I can make it through three weeks before I need to get my nails redone. I hope so I dont want to change manicurists, I like Vicky.
So, I'm sitting here staring at the computer screen. I wonder what I'm supposed to write about. Thousands of ideas enter my mind, but one completely stands out. My roommate is again in a fight with her boyfriend. How can one person have so much anger trapped up inside of them? How can one person be so hurt and so hurtful to or from another. I know that I sometimes get in fights with my boyfriend. But they are nothing like this. I just don't really understand her sometimes. She complains that they don't talk enough, but when they are on the phone  they have absolutely nothing to talk about. What else is new, all she does is sit around in the room waiting for him to call all of the time. I go to class, come back, and there she sits still. I just can't do that. I mean, I'm dedicated and love my boyfriend, but not to the point of putting my own happiness and life on the line for one person. I don't think that I'm selfish, I feel like I have my priorities straighter. Except I happen to be the one without the degree plan that everyone else already has set up. I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. There are so many opportunities out there, how do you know deadon what you would like to be? My interests change daytoday. One day I want to do this, then the next day it's this other thing. The only sure thing and deadmindset thing that I'm involved with is my boyfriend. We've been together for a long time, and I've never felt as strong about anyone as I feel about him. We make all these plans for our future together that I hope come true. But they are only things that I want right now. I would love to marry this guy, I've been settled down for over a year now, and I'm happy this way. We both adjusted our lives for each other. I just wish the time was here. But I can't help to think of that continuous thought in the back of my head, of what if. I am extremely superstitious. I believe that there is a reason why we met each other, and every event that has happened since, has. But maybe I don't always get what I want because I'm supposed to meet someone else while he is not around. I have never been happier in my life, and I am always afraid of change. This move down here to college shuck me up enough. Now things are finally getting settled and I'm meeting tons of people, but I don't know whether or not I should dedicate my time to what I am giving it to. I make time for everyone, but not always for everyone. I keep a lot of time to myself. I hate having to turn people down, but it seems as if I am always doing that. Tomorrow my friend invited me over for dinner, and that should be a lot of fun. We have kind of lost touch, and it should be good for us to get back into the swing of things. Well, I think that has been twenty minutes. I hope you enjoyed my "interesting" train of thought.
Well, college is turning out to be quite an adventure, although I could have guessed that before I got here. I am enjoying meeting different kinds of people as well as being challenged in all of my classes. I could probably do with less reading assignments, but the majority of the text that I've been reading holds the same principal. Learn to question things and make a decision on your own, with ideas to support it. I like this concept, it allows several possibilities in every aspect of life. The idea that the classroom wants me to think critically is exciting. My first impression when I walked into a big lecture class was intimidating. I'm used to the small classrooms where I know the other students around me and I'm comfortable with them. I can also get bored with them as well, so the big classrooms allow me to meet different people every day, this is something I definately like. I like to think that there are a lot of other college freshman feeling the same feelings that I am feeling, that I'm not the only one that is scared and intimdated yet excited all at once. It makes me feel not so alone, in s University as large as this one it becomes a necessity to not feel alone or isolated by your fears. Making new friends is difficult but I think that the majority of freshman on campus are open to forming new friendships with many different people. The entire aspect of not living with my parents and having them in the same house as me p=monitoring my decisions and actions is both liberating and terrifying. I feel as though I have a chance to completly be myself and decide if the person I have been for the past eighteen years is truly me, but at the same time, I wonder if I can meet my parents expectations of greatness. Will I be the type of person that they would be proud of, will I have the ideas and beliefs that are acceptable to them. My fear of not meeting their expectations is not completely overwhelming because they have always taught me to question things and I think that if I form my own beliefs that happen to differ from their beliefs, they will be accepting if and only if I have reached that conclusion through logic and reasoning and I can support my ideas with valid argumentation. It definately can become intimidating at times though. I think the main thing that scares me is having to support myself. I have lived with these people who have taken care of me for eighteen years, I haven't ever had to support myself. In a world that I've only been shown glimpses of, I will soon be expected to make my way through on my own. THis I think is the truly scary part of starting college. It shows us what the world is like in spoonfuls and hopefully, we are prepared enough to face it by the time that we leave college. I don't want to be naive and think too optimistically because it is hard to look at the world in optimism all the time. Yet I don't want to scare myself to death thinking negatively all the time either. COllege will be a good tester of my character and ability to survive without my parents holding safety nets for my constantly. Over all, I am excited and terrified all at once.
This computer lab, Jester East, is rather warm. It's stuffy in here. That isn't however a bad thing, considering how sick I am. Actually, I'm feeling a whole lot better now, as opposed to this morning. I wonder if I missed out on anything important in Linguistics. I doubt I missed out on much. Oh well. I'm relieved about the calculator issue regarding chemistry. I'm glad I know someone who has a car (means of transportation other than the bus). If I keep shopping I may soon find myself in need of help from my parents, financially. Then again, I am buying necessities: food, soap, water, DayQuill, NightQuill, etc. My nose is cleared up. That's something to be happy about. Ah. I can't help but smile at the fact that he came over and simply spent time with me today. He basically just watched me sleep, sniffle, and cough. He's so sweet. I kind of don't want to go home this weekend because of him. He's gone out of town the last two weekends, and now I'm going out of town. Hmm. I don't leave until Friday night. I guess I should try to get a hold of my parents. They may be interested in my visit. Shoot! Only twelve minutes have passed. I feel like I've been typing for a much longer time period. Uhoh, my nose is causing me to sniffle. Ugh. it's so annoying. Good thing I brought Kleenex with me. My mouth is dry. And my tongue hurts from chewing gum. I'm not use to chewing gum, at least not as much as I have been lately. I'm self conscious about my breath, since I have a sore throat. As a result I'm constantly chewing on cinnamon flavored gum. In a way, this isn't exactly my train of thought, at least not the uninterrupted form. I find myself with the need to explain, or give a bit of background info to the reader, if there even is indeed a reader. Ah well. Just three more minutes to go. I can't wait to get back up to my cold room, pop open a can of ginger ale and chug. I've successfully made mouth feel even more dry. My throat is starting to hurt again, but only when I swallow. One more minute left. Perhaps I'll just type my abc's while I wait for that one minute to pass. Ooh. well aren't I little miss creative. Okay time's officially up!.
Right now I am feeling a sense that I have a lot of catching up to do in my reading. Not particularly for this subject but for some of my others. my classes thid semester consist of a lot of reading. For the most part I am enjoying school. I think that it will only get better as days go by and I begin to meet more and more people. I am from Austin and hardly any of my friends came to UT. I guess that they all wanted to get away from home. I love Austin and Ut has a wonderful Interior Design program, it is in the school of Architecture. Right now I am in the Arch. library and my typing is kind of loud I hope that it is not bothering anyone. I am about to go to my next class it is an architecture  class with 500 students. Most of my classes except for one are with 500 students. (about 500)  College goes by so quickly I can't believe that it is already thursday. Where does the time go?  Since I am from Austin I have learned that living in austin and attending school in austin are totally different. I am the only family member besides my grandmother who decided to come to Ut. most of my family went to Texas Tech, A&M, and SMU. My sister just graduated college from colorado state in Ft. Collins. I love Colorado. My older brother is going to grad school at Ut dallas and working at the same time.  Over the Christmas holiday my sister and I are going to Quito, Equidor, I can't wait. Well there is so much I could say right now but I am running out of time. Sorry for all of the mistakes.
Wow! This has been a crazy day! I am really overwhelmed by everything. I'm sitting in my dormroom right now and and all I can't think about is last night. I'm still really really mad. All of these rude girls were running down the hall at 3:00 in the morning, screaming, yelling,and slamming doors. I got only a few hours of sleep. This really sucks especially since I came home early from Waco just so I could sleep. I could have spent the night there and hung out with Grant, my boyfriend if i had known that i would be kept up that late. Oh yeah, I really miss Grant right now! He's supposed to call me today when he gets out of class, which was about, uh, two hours ago. I could just call him but first of all, i am typing this right now and can't stop for about 14 more minutes, and second, i am trying that stupid oldfashioned stuff where you let the guy call you. The tv is on in here and i kind of want to change the channel because they are talking about Sept. 11th. That's so depressing and I think that I am depressed enough right now with all of this new stuff in my life. I liked my house and my room in my house and my town where i knew my way around and my tutoring job that payed well, and my cozy school where I have gone since kindergarten. I miss my mom and dad, and friends, but most of all I miss my dog! DID I TELL YOU THAT I MISS MY DOG, MOLLY? She is the one who undepresses me. How can you be upset when she is begging for your approval and looking at you with that puppy dog face that is that is the ultimate model of pure love. Oh yeah- I just heard something about American Idol, that t. v. show. THe girl who won, Kelly Clarkson, is from Burleson, a small towm outside of Fort Worth. That is where my boyfriend is from, which just brings me back to the fact that I miss Grant right now. Now all i can think about is the fact that I am such a typical girl; all i can think about is my boyfriend! oh well, it's better tan thinking about the mean girls that i have to live with. They are so unthoughtful. My brother told me to live here and that i would meet some of my best friends for life here. Yeah right! I hate all of these girls. All of my friends live somewhere else. I pretty much always take his advise because he is really smart and after all, he is my big brother. But i think he was wron on this one. I guess I am finished. Yeah, i better get ready for dinner, but this is pretty addicting to write all of this down, even though none of this make any sense to you. Oh well, bye bye.
It has taken me a few minutes to get the hang of things. Meaning, I didn't know the steps in getting set up to use the computer because I really have never had that much experience in using the computer. I went to set my e-mail account  yesterday and also got my IF account number. Let me see what else comes in mind I have no idea but to keep typing. Oh ya here with me is Brandi who is a senior and is helping me get to know my way around campus and also answering any questions I have over school. I am planning to go to the football game this weekend I am still not sure, because my friends don't know if they would rather go to  the football game or go home to Dallas for the weekend. I myself would rather go to the game. I almost forgot that I have to go to my apartment and clean up and then I have to go to the bookstore to return a book that I don't need. Well what else can I write about. . my twenty minutes are almost up but not quite yet. . . I am here staring at other people in the room looking for familiar faces but I don't see one. . . . . Something that just came  to my head was that I really miss my family, especially my mom. My sisters,  and brother mean a lot to me too, oh ya my nephew also is someone I miss a  whole lot. He is the most adorable kid I have ever seen I not saying this  because he is my nephew but because it is true. Time up.
the reason for that is because of this girl I'm interested in. this relationship has had a lot of problems, but nothing I can really do about it. this girl is someone that my roommate dated last semester. I was with her at the end of the semester and I felt that things were pretty good. now my roommate still likes her and tries to make moves on her. this guy is a real good friend of mine too. because of this I don't want to be serious about this girl. I think she really likes me, but then I feel guilty about what I'm doing. she's the kind of girl that has a lot of guy friends. I went to a club last night and she was there. I was dancing with her and felt bad because my roommate was there also. I felt so bad I sort of pushed her away whenever she got close. during that night she also danced with my roommate and other guys. all those guys danced real close to her which made me made me feel real sad. I don't have the right to be jealous because we really are not together, but emotions are too hard to control. I just wish I could hold her and be with her, but the situation is just too awkward.
Great! Now I have to do this crap on paper! My stupid com. Heard sound. Sounded like my modem, but it's not on. Stupid itches again. This time all at once. I've been itching a lot lately, but it's probably the weather. Popped my thumb. Popped it again. I tend to do things in pairs. Tingling foot because it was in a strange position. I hope my fingers don't give out. Itchy left ear. It's been only 3 minutes and it's already hurting. I certainly hope I don't get carpel tunnel. Ouch! Itchy nose. head. Eyes doing that weird thing, almost like I've stared too long at one thing. Many little itches. 5 minutes now. Maybe I'm a little conscious of how the time is rolling. But then again, that's probably I have a little over an hour to turn this in and finish pretesting. Should set comp up, even though she keeps dying on me. Hand hurts a little, had to flex it. Mmmmm. Good Snickers bar. It's going to be difficult to write any feelings beyond the physical down. I tend to be in a state of. no state most of the time. 13 minutes left. I hope I can keep. Itchy nose. Feeling in the stomach. Hand still a little achy from all the writing. Wished my comp hadn't crashed, else I'd be done by now. Itchy scalp. I hope I'm doing this right. Figures. Comp restarted again. I guess I should turn it off after it restarts. Don't know why it's been such a pain lately. 10 minutes left. Itch to the side. Stretch fingers. Itchy feeling in left foot due to position. Itch in left ear. Gee, I hope these little itches don't mean anything. (feeling amused) Stretch aching fingers. Getting peanut out of teeth with tongue. Comp restarted. Time to shut her down. Hopefully, shutting down properly will end this mess. Popped thumb. 7 minutes left. Soon. Real soon. Well, physically anyway. It'll probably feel like 15. Turn off comp. I hope I can. Turn off power. I hope I can put all this to the web page before time. Ho. Itchy nose. Inside Eyes water. It's a sneezer! Eh, maybe not. 4 minutes left. Guess I should just trust the timer now. Hope I'm. doing this assignment right. But then again there is no right or wrong way to do it. Speaking of which, what "is" this assignment for? What does it do? Yeah, we write down our thoughts for twenty minutes, but. 2 minutes. Why? What do we learn from this? Or is it for the prof. and the department? Don't see what good it could do either. One minute. The clock will beep soon. Better prep for it, lest my heart jump out of my chest. Heart beat increased a little. Heart jumps! (Timer went off)
I am really tired and bored right now. I am a really bad typist. I am so unhappy with myself, the way I look sometimes. I hate my body. I am in love with this guy and he says that I am beautiful, and goodlooking, but I don't believe him. I need to hear compliments though. Sometimes I wake up and I look at myself, and I like what I see, then I go outside, and I see all the other girls, how thin and tan they are, and I suddenly hate my body again. This boy doesn't even know that I am in love with him, and I haven't seen him in a few months, because he went to summer school here while I stayed at home and worked. every time I see him I fall for him all over again. But with distance, I slowly get over him, and think about him less. But he is always in the back of my mind. I feel so comfortable with him, like I can say or do anything and it doesn't matter. I think that he is perfect in that I recognize and accept his faults, and only want him to become more secure with himself. I think that he is a beautiful person. There are things I don't like, but I love him as a whole person, for who he is. And I hope I will see him again soon. I have thought about him since we said goodbye last May. I tried to get in touch, but it didn't work. And now he has a girlfriend and I think it is too late for us. It will always be the wrong time. But I can't stop loving him. Has it been twenty minutes yet, I don't think so. Oh well. I want to find someone that I can feel a friendship for that I could learn to love that would love me in return for who I am. That is why I love this Boy so much. We are such good friends, and he knows so much about me. He is a liar. I'm a liar. we are perfect for each other. Except that know he is in love with someone else, and has been with her. I want to be friends with her, but looking at her, I just don't like her, there is just something wrong with her. hopefully they will break up and he will realize he has no future with her. she is still in high school! wont graduate for two more years! she is a little girl. I think that time must be almost up now. Goodbye.
I really don't want to do this but I have to I was thinking about this assignment and how we have to write about what we thaink about for 20 minutes and I couldn't believe when people say that they are alwaays thinking somethimes I don't think that any thing goes through my head at all When it is really late at night I think that my brain has had all that it can take for the day and it just stops thinking because people ask me what are you thinking and I tell them nothing but they don't believe me and I really don't think that any thing was going on I was totally blank maybe I am totaly so tired that I don't realze that I was thinking something because I mean you have to be thinking something all the time I mean your brain is amazing well I don't know what else to say but my landury is dring right now and I doupt that it will dry all the waaay because the drier on my floor is not very good I totally was unpreparesd for this year being my second year I reamember last year I brought everything and this year I forgot every thing and I was having to borrow landry detergent from a freshmen to do my landury wow huh that is wierd you thaink that I would be more prepared but I not worried about it iit is fine that way I get to meet more people and I will bea able to buy some laundry detergent later and one daay when they are out they can borrow some form me Well my room isn't totally done and I want to clean it but I have to much other stuff to do I wish that Anna was really happy right now she is going trough a hard time and I want her to forget all this silly stuff and just trust that she will be alright I know that God will take care of her My boyfriend John is super cute I think He is so great My friend just came in and we are going to study the bible with me and Anna  she is a sophomore her name Elanin I have a carpet it is great and she is asking what this nonsense is all about sna I am telling he r that it is for psycology she has a friend that went to Mexico and lived there I was born is in Mexico City but I am white skined I mean so I wonder if any one is going to really read this because that  woudl be a lot of reading may be they make the TAs read it because they have to do it she barely saw Star Wars two weeks ago she is deprived ppooor hchild and I have seen them aall san I can't spell very good you see wow when will this end my friend Anna is here yeah that is great she likes the way my room looks I am explaining wat I am doing as well wow so the last time I did a lot of typing was in highshool for computer claass it was fun but I was never really fast so I barely made an A in the class and I am all about makeing good grades what else ama I thingkin  hummmmm I donl't nknow I have action figures of luke sky waarker and I only have to typw  for two moarwe minittwoi and my hands are tiyred can't you see I know you can so how are you doning computer I s it ahard being a computeer??????  everyobody always tellsyou what to do My name is spell coool  because mey middle madmakl I am done