man, I feel really weird right now. I don't know what exactly is going on . I had a fun time at this reggae show last nite. that was a cool band. it made me feel happy. I havent really been feeling happy all that much recently. its pretty much because I broke up with my girlfriend. well, I ddint really break up with her, we just sort of broke up, even though we were never officailly together in the first place. now that was a strange relationship. how come I'm not hungary. I feel like I should be  its been a while since I had that pizza on 6th st. last nite. I don't have anything to say right now. what a wierd thing for me, usually I'm just filled with thoughts about whats in my head. I let you down, oh, forgiveme. that s a lyric to a dave matthews song  he's like my favorite musicain in the world. oh its you. that was the next lyric. don't walk away. that song makes me think of my girlfrie,d. actually, just about every song makes me tink of her. I wan to right a song. I want to be in a band. me and pete went to this punk show on thrus. nite and it was so cool whenever I go to shows like that, I always get inspired. the phone just rang and my mom called. I got off with her as soon as I could, but I hope that doesn't interfere with this experiment. but this band thing sounds like so much fun. I just want to learn how to play guitar, and just srite one incredible song that can speak to just one kid who is like me. that would be my dream  to express myself perfectly to just one perosn. right now, the song would probably be about ashley. oh, its you. I want to be soo happy in life. bt I don't even know what I want to do. I major in rtf, but I actually really liek this psych class. oh I don't know. forgive me. last nite those reaggae guys were probably really high. they smoke mad weed, ibet. if it all ended today, thigns would be left unsaid I think . I don't lkie it when that happens. I like to hear it striat. I have to do laundry this weekend. that sucks. I hate hassles like that. I 'm ssoo freaking lazy. someitmes I want to be a go-getter. oh well, not that badly I guess. my roomate is doning a movie shoot this morning. I would like to do that someday, or at least , I used to think that I wanted to do that. now I'm not sure. I like radio more that film these days. thats what I think I want to get into. jack keroack's on the road, someone once told me is stream of consciousness writning. he's better at it than I am. I wish I could finish that book. it seems like I always get about 150 pages into it and then stop for no reason. sorry, jack, I like it so far, but I just can't finish it. this summer I will. I wonder whta that will be like. going home for the summer  after college. I hope its fun, but everyone tells me it will be wierd. I don't  watn it to be weird. I want it to be happy. oh, deep breathe. I like hanging out with pete. I met him at orientation. I don't know if his roomate had fun last nite or not. oh well. I watn my band to have acool name if we ever get started. like the sneaker pimps, thats a cool name, but some other band already has it, so I can't use it. take me down, six underground. thats their song. ben collins asked me about it once durnign can't hardly wait. I hope he gets his back healthy so he can play some hoop for san jose st. he's the next wally szerbiak. haha. theyre I s a humming in my rroom. its a combo of the computer and the fridge. but the fidge just stopped, so now its just the computer. if I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the mornig, but its now the after noon, so I can take a break. woohoo. like homer sometimes says when he's ahppy. instead of the upset "doe"  that is like the funnyest show on tv. I can't