I really miss Desiree. she is my best friend and it hard not being able to talk to her everyday seeing as how I don't have my cell phone here with me. my not so intelligent sister was supposed to send it to me in the mail Saturday, but how much do you want to bet that she didn't send it until Monday and I wont get it until Thursday before I leave to go to Houston. I'm drawing a blank. how am I supposed to write for twenty minutes when I'm struggling to think of something to write after only two. I guess I shouldn't think so hard, should I. is that supposed to be a question mark? anyway. I'm really enjoying this psychology class. I thought that it might have been boring but as luck would have it Pennebaker is actually a really energetic professor. I like that. it almost seems as if he can relate to his students on a deeper level but at the same time he is still able to get his lesson across to us. kind of reminds me of Brink, my science teacher in high school. he has been there for quite some time now and he never ceases to amaze his students with his ability to connect with us. I do not know one person in Cleveland High School or one person who came through CHS and had Brinkley that didn't like him or his approach to teaching. I miss him. I miss high school. college life is really overwhelming at times. Right now I'm pretty much struggling to stay in school and let me tell you that it is not easy. I partied way too hard last semester and it would be a shame for me to go home and have to endure the horrible comments from everyone. Oh nikki couldn't handle that big school. She got the big head and got shot down as soon as she got there. Look at little miss I'm smarter than you back in Cleveland. I guess it was lonely up there on her high horse. I have to be a success and that is why I have buckled down on my studies and reading this semester. it is so important that I become somebody. I can't stress that enough. I refuse to go back home and end up on the same path that the rest of my family has chosen for themselves. its not easy living up to others expectations when you know that you can do it but aren't sure if you know how or if you have the drive to do so. My family is a bunch of nobodies and I hate to say that. Well in an educational sense of the term. None of them went off to school in order to better themselves. but then again I can't really blame them for that. I mean we really don't have the resources required to be true leaders or successes when coming from an educational stance. I'm here on financial aid as it is. its not easy walking in my shoes. some people think I have it so easy but they really have not idea what kind of challenges I had to overcome to get here. it was not an easy road to tow. I been through it all and still have managed to survive only by the grace of God. Speaking of God I miss TJ and Trinity and Tristan. I only wish that I had more time with them before they left. especially TJ. He was and still is my baby. I love him and miss him so much but his psycho parents took him away from me. they could have left but why him. I remember there being a time when he wouldn't even go to them when I first started working in the nursery and how he could only say no. that was my little boy. I love him and miss him like  you would never understand or maybe you would because I'm sure you have kids and even though he wasn't mine I loved him like he was.