ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
Crap, I was half way through this assignment and my computer just cut out or something. I really hope it didn't already submit because I don't want to screw up my credit for this paper. Great, now I'm completely paranoid that I've managed to screw up something so simple. I'll keep my fingers crossed. I need all the help I can get to do well in this class. Actually, I haven't worried about my grades in a long time. When tests start, I'll panic. It's really hard to focus in my morning classes during lectures. I never get enough rest. My schedule's all out of order. I can't fall asleep until around two or three and then have to wake up at seven. I'm tired all day long. I hear my TV and want to go watch it. I always put stuff off and watch too much television. I have a problem with procrastinating. I never used to be this bad. I'm scared that since I can't get on a study plan, I'll fail. I hate it when I over use a word when I'm writing. I feel like I haven't written enough, but does length matter?  My birthday is next week, which somewhat depresses me. I'm not close to any of my friends, and I'm scared they're going to forget about me. I feel like the only loser out of my friends who's not having this great college experience. It's not that I'm homesick, just kind of restless and bored. I haven't met that many people and frankly, feel like an outcast. My head hurts, but I have no tylenol. I hate swallowing pills. I used to break them up and put them in yogurt. I'm such a wuss. My roommate went home for the afternoon. I'm glad she is gone. She can be a little much with the extreme cleanliness. I went out of town one weekend, and she made my bed. I don't really want her invading my space and touching my things.
I enjoy doing writing assignments liek these. You get to write about just about anything that pops into your mind. the bad part about this type of assignment is when you really don't have anything to think about or when you have a brian fart. I wounder just how my performance in this class is going to be. Whether I will do poorly in the class or good or just average enough to pass the class. But among those thought, I also wounder how this semester is going to go. I hope that I am going to be able to do well enough to bring my GPA up so that I am able to get more scholarships fo next year. Man, when I notice what I am thinking about, I notice that I really think about things that may affect me in certain ways. Like doing homework for my classes or whether or not I'm going to have enough money to pay my rent or my cell phone bill or my other bills. But as I take the time to think, I feel that I will be forced to get another job so that I will be able to afford all this new responseablity that I have taken on. Its not always easy to write exactly what your thinking about a certain time. But right now its hard for me to do anything when all I'm thinking about it how bad I feel right now. Right now I have a stuffed and runny nose, and I am also sore from working out on wensday. It hurts for me to walk up the stairs or to strech out of to even lift up anything heavy. I think I worked myself out a little too much, I feel that I tried to push myself a little more then I should have since it was my first day working out since last semester. I think I screwed myself by not continuing to workout over the summer break. All I did was work to pay off some of my bills that I acquired over last semester for books and other various reasons. Its funny how when you set yourself to doing something and son't pay attention to the time, time really seems to fly by. Take this assignment for example. I started to write what I was thinking and now that I look at how long I've been writing, I've noticed that I have already been writing for a little over 16 minutes now and it does even seem like it. It merely seems like I've been writing for about 5 minutes. If all the assignments were like this one, I bet pretty much every one would do good, cause its not hard to talk about what your thinking about at a particular time. You can just about write about anything you want, whether it is a event happening in your life or just something you feel like getting off your chest, all you have to to is merely just type it in and be able to get it off your chest and get a grade while doing it too.
I begin by wondering exactly what purpose this assignment serves. I also wonder what will pass as the year goes on. Caffeine. I suddenly have a craving for caffeine. I would get up and grab a Dr. Pepper, but that would interrupt my writing process. What would it be like to be known as Dr. Steve?  Do I really intend to go through with getting my doctorate?  And if so, what happens afterwards?  It boggles the mind to think of the ways in which I may change over the next several years. Wow, I certainly am typing fast. On my old computer, there would have been a delay between the time I pushed the keys and when they appeared on the screen. I very much like this new flatscreen, it certainly goes well with my new system. Every computer I build has some odd quirk to it that no other system demonstrates. It may be my fondness for ATI video cards, or it could be my personality reflecting in the way that I put these things together. All in all, the system works well, but there are times when I just want to drop-kick it out the window. That, however would involve opening the blinds, which would expose me to the eye-squinting sunlight. I have always rather disliked the direct sunlight, partly because it is directly associated with heat. I can stand heat when it causes immediate, measurable pain, such as the burning of a hot pan handle. However, the discomfort of extended exposure to the hot, sticky, mind-numbing Texas sun can drive me insane!  There is a point after which I do not care, but sometimes it seems as if that point never comes. Time is certainly a subjective concept to the human brain. The saying Time flies when you're having fun" is absolutely true in this respect. If only it were the other way around: uncomfortable situations seem shorter, and the pleasant experiences extended. Alas, that is merely wishful thinking. My roommate's girlfriend just called three times within a 15-minute period. Ah, there he is. "The ol' ball and chain just called", says I. What an interesting concept this telephone is. From pretty much anywhere in the world, you can have instant contact with anyone else that has a similar device. Of course, there is a slight delay due to the limits of the speed of light, but as long as you are on Earth, this is a relatively slight matter. Last week, I spent time with my family looking at Mars in my dad's telescope. Mars will not be closer for next to 250 years, and it hasn't been this close in nearly 60,000 years. From what I have read and heard, though, it has been within a few hundred miles of this distance in the last several years. Calling last week an especially special occasion is barely the truth. The difference is like standing in Manhattan, walking 10 steps towards New Jersey, and saying that it looks closer. One-hundred odd miles in over thirty-four million?  Absurd!  Looking at the timer, it appears to be about time to wrap it up. Wow, I just had to correct my spelling on the fly about ten times. I guess that it's not as easy to type correctly when there is another person in the room.
I need to get to my dorm soon so I can get ready to work out that place was so crowded yesterday, there wasn't hardly any machines open, maybe today since it's a different time the machines will be open with more of a selection. I hope they are serving something good for dinner, I didn't like those spicy chicken nuggets for lunch, I'm starting to get hungry now, but I know you shouldn't eat before you work out. I wonder if anyone will actually read this, they must see some weird things when going through all of these. This seems like it will be a fun and interesting class, but my geology class is going to be difficult for me. I never have liked science classes. Chemistry was the worst class I took in high school. I'm glad I'm not in high school anymore, but I'm not exactly thrilled about being here either, I thought it would be tons of fun, but it hasn't been the greatest yet, I guess I neeed to give it more time to see if I'll find more friends, all the girls in my dorm seem to be really nice, maybe I can become good friends with them, but then I think about my friend back home and the close relationships I had, I think that I'll never friend any more friends that close, but I guess I needd to give it more time, I haven't even been here a week yet. I wonder if classes will get harder next week, I'm scared I'll have too much work to do. I hope all the work I have to do on the computer can get done, hopefully the labs won't get too full. I wonder why they haven't opened the lab in my dorm yet It seems like they would when school starts, but they are waiting until monday. They should know the professors assign work the first day, I wish the computer in my room would hook up to the internet but I know It's probably too old to connect with the ethrocard, and even if I got that I know it would be so slow, just like it was when it was connected at my house. At least it's there if I ever need to type an essay or any kind of paper. But, may be at christmas I can get a new computer. Christmas seems so far away, but I bet once school gets going the time will fly by. It'll be nice to have almost a whole month for Christmas break. Wow I've written a lot. I didn't think I would think of anything to write about. But I just let my thoughts flow and look how much I've jumped aroud I went to about 5 different subjects. And now my time is almost up. I'm kind of worried the assignment for some reason won't get to you, like it will get lost on the internet or something, I don't trust computers all that much I would feel better If I turned it in personally but hopefully it gets there. Yeah times up see you in class!!!
my mom should be here in about 45 min are we going out to eat or will I have to wait till we get home. who will get the front seat in her car?  I wonder what will be going on in temple when we get back should I go to the football game or hang out with Adam and his friends. it will be our anniversary tomorrow so I should do something with him tomorrow and go to the game tonight. my poor puppy. I really miss him I hope he doesn't shrivel up and die like my mom said sometimes to pets when their owners go away to college. he's been staying under my bed even at dinner. this must be serious. I wonder if Adam and I will stay together. I know that every time a big transition in our lives has occurred, like school starting, things have always been kind of weird. now I guess it's just the same thing. we have a lot of fun one day and then the next thing are weird. I guess that it  is just us adjusting. I can't believe that Lori talked about all of the guys who have stalked her for 25 min this morning in the loudest voice possible. now the whole house knows how desirable she is. this song is annoying but if I get up and change it I won't be able to get back on my writing track. it's over now. she even brought up that guy who threw her in the trash can when she rejected him. she told us that that was back in sixth grade. I guess she is just feeling insecure and needs to tell people that others really do like her. she needs to work on her social skills. I feel sorry for Lindsey. she on the other hand seems to be doing great. I guess she bonded with the other girls during the smoke breaks. it kind of sucks that things that I don't want to do , like smoke or drink keeps me from getting closer to the other girls in the house. after all it is only the second week and I'm sure things will change. I haven't really met that many new people that I want to develop friendships with but strangely I don't even care. I like being by myself more than I used to. I guess that is normal, maybe even a defense mechanism. my mom should be here in half an hour now. I don't even really miss anything about home, except for my dog of course,  probably because I distanced myself from it enough that I was even disgusted with the town in the last week. that helped. I'm glad that I can analyze my own feelings and realize why I'm having them. it helps sort things out and helps me realize that I am having normal reactions to a big transition. I hope that misty is doing alright. I can't believe that Alyson said that about her. she is so inconsiderate and self centered. she wants to hang out on Saturday but I really have no desire to see her. she has become somewhat of a slut in my opinion. twenty minutes is up it was nice talking to you Mr. computer. you should be a therapist
Well this labor day was good. i got to spend it with some very special people to me, and also since it was my b-day, I got to have a lot of fun with those people! hehe gosh. i spent a full 3 dayz a way from home, and not a care about school! Well I take that back, since I am doing one of my psy assignments. hehehe. but none the less, I did not really think about homework! hehe it is great!  I wonder why everyone thinks I am a freak!! I just don't like veggies! Is that so hard to believe? They just don't taste good to me. much like steak does not taste good to vegitarians! Sheeesh. i take more shit about that than I do about anything else. haha  hmmm. soo I need to be getting back to austin here pretty soon, so I can get some of my other work done, and actually go to work! But I really don't want to. haha. why is it that our society has become based on laziness? Why is it that everyone thinks it is better not to work? When did this change from a hard working, earn your living, society come about?    Our society is degenerating!! Ain't it sad! Sheeeesh. we could. man. oh well. my 20 minutes is up! GUess you don't get to hear the end of that one! :)
Wow, here is Friday night and I'm doing my psychology assignment that was supposed to be due yesterday. I remember setting all of these personal goals for my four glorious years at college, and here I am in week three coming to the not so surprising realization that these goals were totally unrealistic to begin with. Why do people even set goals?  Goals lead to expectations, expectations lead to disappointments. Guatama, one of my personal inspirations founded the great religion of Buddhism. He came up with the not so clever theory that those who desire nothing are never disappointed with life. I think most of us had that one figured out in Kindergarten or perhaps I was just exceptionally bright. As humans we set goals because we find ourselves having nothing to do, and because we fail to accept the fact that we have absolutely no control over our future, which makes man totally uncomfortable. Our technological advancements were not necessarily for the good of humanity but instead to compensate for our innate fear of nature. It's ironic because most Americans have adopted the religion of Christianity, and according to Christianity God created earth and all of its creatures, yet we put absolutely no faith in nature and certainly not in mankind. We're supposed to believe in that which we can not see and yet we can't even trust what it is we do see. Man is full of hypocrisy in every aspect of life. Some are better than others but in the end we're all hippocrites. More specifically, Christians in general are very interesting group to observe. Every Sunday people enter a building to worhip and praise God. They may sit in a pew for an hour but does this hour really change anyone's life?  Most people struggle simply to stay awake, to walk away getting something out of the sermon is just too much to ask. Sadly enough most people think that because their religion is the "chosen" one that this hour makes them better than those who choose to sit at home and watch Meet the Press. As much fun as this tangent I've been getting on really has been my twenty minutes are more than up. So we'll just continue this . what is this they say. next session.
It said tall macintosh so I wasn't sure what that meant. Anyways,  right now I am kind of upset because my roomates are messy and keep on leaving the lights on when they are not occupying the room. I hope our electric bill isn't very high. Man, I have so much reading to do it is not even funny. I miss my boyfriend and family a lot and want to go home. Sometimes I wish I could just go to college at home. I can't go there cause I have a scholarship to attend this school. I have been very bored lately. Wow, I am so suprised that there wasn't a humungous waiting list to use these computers. I sure hope this computer isn't for a handicap person cause it is higher than all the others. Oh, well if a handicap person comes I'll just move. The guy across from me looks funny because he is looking at his computer with astonishment and his mouth is wide open. I'm trying to think of things to write but it is kind of boring in here so my thoughts are not flooding out like they usually do. I tried to do the pre-testing but it wouldn't let me in because it said other people were already using it. That sucks!!!!!  Man, after this I think I am going to move to another regular computer because I am starting to feel really guilty. There are a lot of empty computers right now. Cool there is a huge M hanging above my computer and my name starts with M. After this I will probably search the web for volunteer agencies that I can volunteer for for my social work class. I have about 8 more minutes to write. Man, something got on my beautiful, cute kitty folder and made some of the paint come off. I wonder what it was. These computers are cool because you can bring cd's and listen to them. Is that a girl or a boy?  First I thought it was a boy but he/she had a very colorful girlish looking purse. I think it is a boy. My hands are starting to kind of hurt from typing. I probably sound like a baby. Oh man, a guy just sat at the computer that I was planning to use next. I guess I'll just sit on the next role. 5 more minutes. I hope it is not dark when I go home cause I have to walk. I'm bored!!!!!!!I can't wait to go home and eat. What shall I eat???  I certainly don't feel like eating hamburger helper leftovers again. Maybe I'll order something from Plucker's or walk over there. 3 more minutes. They should have music in here. Nah, that's not a good idea cause not everybody likes the same kind of music or can concentrate with it on. I can. I think I've seen that guy before somewhere. Well, time is about up, finally :)
So I am sitting here wondering why I am doing this assignment at this particular moment in time. I have lots of other assignments that I could be working on. I have Music Theory homework I need to do and Music History I need to study for. There seems to be so much that I have going on in my life. I am going to Palo Alto, California for the football game on Saturday. Fortunately I have packed and don't have to worry about that. Renee Zellwegger is on Jay Leno right now. I think she is going out with Jim Carrey. I bet it would be awesome to be a movie star or a comedian. All you have to do is make people laugh and do sitcoms every now and then. I wish I had done some sort of acting to try and learn how to do that. I bet I could have made some money doing that. It doesn't even seem THAT hard. One of my good friends dad just passed away. I always fear about that happening to my parents even more that I fear it happening to myself. Maybe it is the whole thing with my fear of being alone. I live at home and if my parents and sisters were not around, I would not like that. Plus, I just can't comprehend losing my parents. I really hate talking about that. And I don't like typing. I keep having to backspace every so often. I haven't counted, but I think I have done it about 25, 26 times. I don't know. It's like, I love to talk to people and stuff, but if I am carrying a conversation over the computer or typing a letter or whatever it really frustrates me. What time is it? I still have ten minutes. Geez, I didn't think I could write this much in just ten minutes. I'm not that entertaining. I met these two girls in class the other day. I think their names were Brandy and Stephanie? I don't know. But the one sitting next to me was VERY attractive. I wanted to ask her for her number. But I barely got her name. Maybe I can do that on Monday. She seemed pretty impressed that I was the Longhorn Band President though. That seems really odd to me. Band people are normally thought to be nerdy that is a typically stereotype, although I know some people that DO give some of us a bad wrap. That was two minute for that paragraph. I don't think I will ever make it to the end of this paper. At least I am having a little more fun actually, I take that back, I am actually HAVING fun writing this paper. Kind of strange how stuff like that happens. I wonder how much the Longhorns will win by this week. I hope a lot. I want to be in Miami for the Orange Bowl this year. That would be excellent. Ok, I have a minute or so left. I took me a while to come up with all that stuff. And I am WAY tired right now also. I don't think I will do that homework right now. Too tired. Just so you know I really want an A in this class it has been a while since I have gotten an A in anything other than band. That was actually a real thought not a request. *smile*. Ok that is it.
For some reason, I have been feeling really tired lately. I have been getting plenty of sleep, but it's been hard falling asleep. It feels like there have been a million random thoughts running through my head recently. I haven't been able to understand many of them, or why I think them in the first place. Sometimes, I feel like I have ADD. Ever since I stopped smoking marijuana, my grades haven't been what I expect of myself and my motivation just has not been there for anything. My mom persistently assures me that I don't have it, but I just want to get tested so I know. Before I moved off to college, I couldn't stand being at my house for more than an hour at a time. But now, I want to be there all the time, even though I can't. I know that many kids feel   depressed   right after they move off to college, but I don't feel like anyone is going through what I am. I never understand myself. One minute I miss my ex-girlfriend. I was the one that broke up with her, but why do I miss her so much?  I went home last weekend, an I ran into her. Right after I left, I understood why I broke up with her, but I am already back to thinking why I broke up with her. I don't always understand her either. Sometimes I feel that it's her clinical depression that makes her that way, but other times I feel like it was always me. I remember hearing the phrase, there's someone for everyone. Well if that's true, who's my someone?  I hate waiting around and I just want someone that I can count on being there. I guess that's why I decided to break up with her in the first place. I never felt that I could count on her always being there for me. My dad told me that my grandfather was an alcoholic, so does that mean that there is a good chance that I will be one too?  I wish things were the way they were before last summer, when I had a girlfriend and had my friends that were there for me. I understand that college is all about experiencing new things and meeting new people, but I really haven't had the urge to do either of the two. Maybe this is just a   phase   that everyone goes through. I hope so. I have had no will to meet any new girls, which I expected the complete opposite before leaving. If I miss my home and my parents so much, then why do I never have the will to call them and just talk?  Why can I not just gain a little weight? No matter how much I eat, I can't gain a pound. I know these are supposed to be the best 4 years of my life, so when do I start counting?  I love math and everything, but it just seems like there is something out there that I would rather be doing instead of Mechanical Engineering.