so I'm suppose to be writing my thoughts at the current moment. hm, strangely enough, I don't have any and usually my head is swarming with random ideas and daydreams. well, now that I think about it, I guess right now my thoughts are so scattered that I can't exactly grasp onto one idea. my friend called while I was in bio class earlier. stupid me forgot to turn off my phone before I went into the class, so imagine the embarrassment when my phone rang in a deathly quiet lecture hall. I quickly checked the caller id and turned off the phone, not wanting to upset my professor. typically, I'm told, it's not good to piss off the professor during the first day of class. but man, my heart raced after that. I don't know why either. but for about 5 min, I couldn't write; my hand was shaking so bad. so right now, I'm thinking I should call my friend back, but seeing as how I still have about 15 min left to write, I guess I can do that later. speaking of later, I'm still waiting for a phone call from my friend ruby so that we can go work out later. we went earlier this morning, right before lunch, but we had to stop short because I had class and all. we worked out for about an hour, and yet, that was definitely not enough. I never imagined that working out took so long. I'm terrified about the so-called freshman 15 that I want to do as much exercise as possible. it seems like I have so much free time on my hands, since I only have class for about 2-3 hours each day, and yet, I'm still rushing around trying to get everything done. it's funny how time speeds up when you're at college. I still have yet to practice piano here. and I have a billion other things to do, and yet, for some reason, I'm really bored now. my time management skills have definitely got to improve. fast. I also push myself to do something every single minute of the day, because once I start getting bored, then I get really depressed and start missing home. I never thought that would happen because I really hate port lavaca. it was so boring there. man, I'm just filled with surprises. I'm really looking forward to seeing my friend tonight. I can't wait. all my thoughts eventually drift back to him. I've managed to suppress my thoughts about him for about 10 min now. whew, that was really tough work, I must say. we don't see each other all that much during the day, mainly because he's busy, I'm busy, we're all busy. but I guess it's good. we need to lead our own lives, so in case things between us break apart, I won't be totally crushed. like the last time. I learned my lesson quite well. but still, I can't wait to see him. it kinda sucks living at jester without a car. sure I know a lot of people with cars and all, but that's different. I don't want to bother them with taking me places. I had my roommate take me to walmart today and I felt sooooo bad when we came back. I dunno, I just feel like a burden when I don't have a car. I guess I could always call up my bro but he lives about 10 min away and parking on this campus sucks. and usually when I go visit my friend, I get him to pick me up since he lives on the other side of campus and then some. but doing that every day is going to get quite tedious. I'm going to have to find another mode of transportation. I still have to figure out how the buses run too. I'm scared to ride the buses tho. I'm scared that I'll take the wrong one and end up on the 5th ward of austin. I wish I had my car. I've met some new people here, hung out with a lot of old friends too. but yet, I still feel very lonely. I mean, I'm starting to get to know my bro's friends but it's kinda not the same when everyone knows each other so well, and then this newcomer comes and tries to fit in. I guess a lot of freshman go through the same thing. I dunno. maybe it's just me. and wow, this 20 min went by really fast. I have about 4 min left. ok, so what was I saying? o yea, I think tonight I'm going to see my friend. (I told you my thoughts keep drifting back to him) it's his birthday today and his roomies are throwing him a special party, entertainment included. I don't really care about that. and surprisingly enough, I don't even care if he has a bunch of friends that are girls. I guess I'm just in a whatever mode. don't want to get too attached again. but on the other hand, maybe I'm finally beginning to trust him. I guess I'll find out later if that's going to be a huge mistake. I really like writing, esp like this. just random thoughts. I brought up my journal so that when I'm feeling some realy intense emotions, I can just write my little heart out. but that's usually only when I'm really feeling strongly about something. usually when I'm going through one of my personal traumas. ok, time's up. this has truly been fun. truly.