what a waste of time. These guys are so hung on the fact that they can't decide whether they want to be this one or that one or if they can hack it. How stupid. it is really loud in the other room and I hate when people have their deadlocks one and leave the door open so it always slams when it closes. What should I do about mike? It is a really confusing situation. I wish that gabe would ask me out again. Smoking is bad. Justin just asked King Dobie if he wanted to go smoke and it's gross. To relieve stress about all this frat shit. Racism is bad. I don't understand why can't people just respect the fact that everyone is not going to be the same color as them. I am open-minded about it because I lived over seas and sometimes I wish that people would be able to have this experience so that they could understand  a little bit about another culture. You learn a lot about your lifestyle and your own country when you are not surrounded about it the whole time. But right now I don't feel surrounded. Ronnie is still probably crying over his ex-girlfriend and I feel his pain I have been through that before with Chris, I wish here was here a lot of the time but I guess he isn't. he is probably with carley having sex which sucks for me to be thinking about because I think she is a really bad influence on him. I just hope he takes care of himself and doesn't screw up too bad at A&M since he already screwed up by even going there. Imagine that . to be an Aggie that would suck but I guess in a sense I am being prejudice against the Aggies. They are a whole different culture but I hate to be called a hypocrite. Someone called me today and it was my best friend in the whole world. Cole is the man. I miss him so much and a lot of the time  I wish that I has a friend as close to me here as he was to me. He is at westpoint and I feel bad for him, no sleep and lots of pressure to do well. I hope he is ok. I miss him and he needs my prayers, which I need to do. I got to get back into the swing of things,. I would be letting Cole down if he knew where I am at with God right now, he is my accountability partner and I feel as though I am letting him down by not studying the word. I will probably go to Metro on Tuesday though and hopefully I will take someone with me. Maybe Brian will go. I hope so, I wonder how sarah and wade are. I miss seeing here and was pretty mean sometimes. brad on the other hand seems very worried about his job and I scared for him! We clicked really well at work and I wish we could spend some quality time together sometime but I don't know what he has been up to ?  I got to go to bed soon. I was very stupid about waiting till the last minute to do homework but I do it all the time and I don't know why I surprise myself every time that I wait until the last minute to do stuff. speaking of which I need a job. where the heck am I going to get a job. I need money to pay for crap that I don't need, Like sweats and shoes that I would add to the collection of almost 40. Lauren just walked in the door and I knew because I recognized her voice. She is weird but in a great way. only 4 minutes I think. it seems like twenty minutes is such a short time when you are babbling your thoughts to a computer. Mike is weird and he has this annoying laugh that drives me nuts. So does Gabe but Gabe's is cute, or am I just trying to justify it because I think I like him. probably I do that a lot. I can convince myself that something is good when it isn't and the exact opposite. It sucks. I never know whether to believe myself or not to. Just like when I talk about sex, I don't want to have sex until I am married and I have made a  commitment to not only myself and God but to my future mate. Wow that is scary. thinking about marriage. " just what every girl dreams of. their wedding day. " But I hate to be out in the category 'every girl' I am my own person and I feel like I am unique.