ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
Well this is the first writing assignment of the semester. You had said in our first meeting that we could write out a rough draft before we submitted this copy to you. I figured that since this is a stream of consciousness writing that it would be best if this were written straight to you without proofreading or rewriting. Well today I got back from visiting home for the Labor Day weekend, I'm feeling really homesick right about now, I think it's even worse than when I first left home for the first time to move to UT. But I'm sure as the week goes on, I'll adjust again. I think that as the year progresses and I visit more often, the coming back to school when the weekend is over will get a lot easier, because it will become I routine type of thing. Have you noticed that I've started all the paragraphs, with the exception of this one, with the word "well"? I think that's a word I use to start off thoughts that I don't know how to start off. I don't know if that's good or bad, but who really cares, right? This isn't Rhetoric. The first football game is this coming weekend, my first Longhorn football game ever. Of course I've seen games on TV, but being at the game is always better and more exciting. Just the like the San Antonio Spurs, I always watch them on TV, but being at the game is so much fun. I just learned this weekend that someone from my graduating class is in my psychology class. This isn't a person that I ever talked to, in fact, I never even knew who he was until a good friend of mine started dating him. I'm guessing he saw me in the class when we first met last Thursday, I didn't see him though, as you know, there are 540 people in that class. Last night as I was falling asleep, I started thinking about the homework that I need to get done. Then I started thinking about this writing assignment. I couldn't fall asleep because I couldn't remember when this assignment was due. In my head I continuously thought, "Is it due the 15th or the 5th?" Of course, I've always been this way, I always seem to contradict myself. In elementary school, I would lay awake at night trying to remember if I had finished all the work that was assigned to me. I would literally get up every night to check my backpack to make sure it was all finished and that I had put it all into my bag for the next day. I have a feeling I'm going to be this way in college, my biggest fear is FAILING. I know that if I work hard, I won't, but I can't help feel this way. Wow, has it been 20 minutes already, yes it has. I got a class in 20 minutes. This was fun, got to go.
Austin is very different from my home town. I live in a small town about 60 miles south of Houston called Sweeny. It has only 3500 people in the whole town. Everywhere you go you run into someone you know. Austin is so big and when I meet people I wonder if I will ever see them again, but so far I have seen a lot of people I have met. I live in Kinsolving and I have met a lot of girls in my dorm that are really nice. I like the UT campus too. It is not to spread out although I do have to walk a lot to get to my classes. That is ok because I can use the exercise. This psychology class and my chemistry class have over 500 people in it. That was very overwhelming for me but I have adjusted somewhat. Today I was walking on the drag and saw so many people out and about for the game. It is the first game of the season and I'm very excited. There are so many people that used to go to school here or are just big Longhorn Fans. They are all dressed in orange and many have their kids with them and even the kids are dressed in orange and white. It is really neat to see so many supporters and fans of the school and the football team. I am really excited about the game. I hope we beat North Carolina State. It seems so weird that I can consider myself as "we" or part of the UT traditon, atmospere, and college!  I hear we have the number one recruiting team in the nation. That is cool because these are people the same age as me. I met one of the new recruits the other night. He was huge and I'm sure he plays on defense. He sure didn't look like a freshman!!  As you can tell I like football. I think a lot of that has to do with the time of year. Probably also because my dad was a high school football coach and I've grown up with it all my life. Also I was a cheerleader in high school and I miss cheering a little, so I always look forward to a football game. That is probaly why I am so excited about the game today. It is amazing to me that so many other people feel the same way about football. I also am excited about the game because it will be fun to learn the UT traditons and meet new people. Well my 20 minutes is up. I hope I wrote enough but I just don't type very fast so it takes me awhile to type out what is on my mind.
As I sit here at my desk typing, all I can think about is how hot I am and how come our room is so unbelievably hot. I am under a lot of stress right now because I have so many pages to read and it takes me so long to read them since I have trouble focusing on them. By body is starting to sweat, maybe I should tell my RA to turn down the AC. I am really stressing over having to read biology, because, no matter how much I read it, I just can't comprehend what the book is saying. I'm sure I will struggle in biology this year. At first, I couldn't understand why you are making us do this, but now that I am doing this I understand the purpose behind it. This is really helping me to gather my thoughts and it is actually nice to express your feelings. My stomach feels extremely full because I just came from the Dobie cafeteria. I really wish I hadn't eaten so much junk food, I need to eat healthier. I am really regretting eating that ice cream, I have got to stop doing that. I also need to work out more. It all of a sudden just occurred to me that the reason I am so hot is because I am sunburned. When you're sunburned does your body just start letting of hot air or something? It is obviously clear that I am unfamiliar with the way my body works. I am dreading class tomorrow because I am so behind on my reading. I probably should be doing reading instead of doing this. Its funny how you find yourself doing anything just for the sake of avoiding the things you don't want to do. I only have to write for a few more minutes. I wonder what my test is going to be like in biology. If I take great notes and read, even if I don't comprehend it very well, will I still be able to do well on the tests? My elbow has just started throbbing because I scraped it water skiing earlier today. I really wish I wouldn't have fallen because it starts throbbing every time I extend my elbow. Oh great! Time's up. Talk to you later. katie
I love this song so much. well, actually I love the band. Our Lady Peace, where did they come up with this name? It doesn't matter but it's just a question. I can't help but think back to freshman year of high school and remember the times that these songs remind me of. those were good times. ahh, well times change and new things come along. geeze, I'm so hungry. I can't wait to go eat with mom and dad. They are so great. I can't believe how much money they've spent on me and sam for college so far. wow, that's a lot and I'm so lucky. this next song is so good. I love this whole cd. music is such a great thing to have. it expresses feelings that you can relate to and it is a great way to relax. school is so different. I don't know what to study and there is so much reading. I feel so overwhelmed. oh, the football is is tomorrow. I'm so excited about it. they better win. and the red sox I hope will keep on winning. I want them so badly to go to the playoffs, even if they are the wildcard. they deserve it. isn't it funny how you come to like something? for example, how I became to like the redsox. I know I came to like them because of michael. it's funny how you like something or show interest in something that the person your dating likes. I couldn't help but like them because he did and it gave us something to talk about and be interested in. I like the redsox now and it came from him. he is such a great person. I can't believe we've been together for this long. almost 3 years is such a long time, but it has been great. he is sweet, funny, kind, nice, beautiful and he makes me feel good. He is my best friend. I can't wait to go get my pedicure today with Andrea. It will be good to see her and spend time with her, she is such a sweet girl and is always willing to talk to me. it's weird not seeing all my friends from high school. I miss them so much. I can't Anna had a baby! She is such a great mom and everything, but she is missing out on so much not being able to go to UT or Saint Mary's like she wanted to. I'm glad she is determined to still take classes at ACC though. She is making the best out of her situation and I'm so proud of her. And Ella, her baby. What a beautiful baby! I love her so much. I can't wait until she can play and talk. I want to play with her and just be able to have fun with her. I want to spoil her even though she isn't my baby. I'm getting so tired just sitting down. I want to do something, maybe, vacuum the room. It's getting kind of dirty. I want to eat! I miss my animals. I want them to live with me here in the dorm. I love petting them and giving them attention. I'm glad I went home yesterday. Even though I go home at least once a week, I miss being there. I miss my brother, parents, and the animals. Andy is so funny. He has no one to play with or antagonize. He tries to wrestle with mom and she can tell that he misses us. This is the best song on this cd. It is so pretty.
I do not want to draw that apple again. It's so redundant that it completely diminishes the idea of art. I mean, I understand that Professor Gant wanted us to experience the "discipline" aspect of art, but it's really hard to express yourself with a piece of fruit. It's not even like one of those beautiful pieces of fruit you see in most paintings. It's from the Jester Cafeteria, so of course it looks like it's been through hell. I can't believe I paid seventy cents for it. That's relatively cheap, but it's a bruised, disgusting piece of fruit. The food there is expensive compared to the quality of it. Day before yesterday, I paid almost three dollars for a bowl of wilted salad and a glass of tea. Maybe I'm just being cheap, well, actually it's my parents money, so it really doesn't affect me, but still. I need to call my parents. You'd think emailing them everyday and calling them every other day or like every three or four days would be enough. But no, they insist that we talk every day so that my mom can whine about how she really wants me to come back home and go to Lamar. I know she's not being serious, they really want me here, but the whining gets really old, really fast. I'm so glad I got away from that area, it's such a hellhole. Everyone knows everyone else's business. I guess that's typical of a small town, but I hate it. Here no one cares who you are. I guess there are good and bad sides of that, but mostly good. My roommate is so loud. She's really nice and all, but she's a little annoying. She's also extremely hypocritical. She claims to be so openminded and liberal, but then I've heard her put down people who are religious, which is really closeminded. I was offended by it, too, I mean she knows that I'm a Christian and she knows that I go to church, which, by most standards is considered "religious". Oh well, I haven't been "preachy" about my views, so I guess I'll just attribute her closemindedness to ignorance. I really want to go to the Counting Crows concert, I'll have to get the tickets soon though. Adam Duritz voice is so powerful. Anyone who can evoke so much emotion from listeners using a song, has to be a musical genius. I mean how is it possible that I didn't cry when my parents left me here in a city of a million people, five hundred miles away from home. Yet, I cry when I hear him sing about a lost love. I don't even think it's the words that get me. Well, that could be part of it, but I guess it's the combination of the music and the lyrics and Adam crooning them out. I mean, I could be in a perfectly good mood, and I listen to a song, and halfway through it tears are streaming down my face. And I do this to myself repeatedly. It's almost like a sickness, maybe I have OCD or something. I hardly ever become emotional at movies or other times when the typically "sensitive" girl would cry. Maybe subconsciously I know that I need to cry at certain times, and that's what makes me listen to the music.
Right now I am very hacked off because it has taken me 30 minutes to find this home page using this very complicated computer. I'm not used to using Macs and it is very annoying. I also don't know why this screen doesn't scroll down. That is very annoying also along with this keyboard Im using. Well I'm tired of complaining so I will start thinking about something else. I have to leave for my home town in 30 minutes because I have a court date tomorrow. My stepdad will be here and I'm sure he's going to complain about traffic. I hope he takes me to eat somewhere because I'm tired of dorm food. I can't think of anything to write so I'll write that. This assignment is very weird and I don't know how anything can come of it. What should I say?  I don't consciously know what I am thinking so I don't know what to type. I'm just sitting here trying to think of something profound to say. That is stupid considering that I don't have to say anything important but I guess that is what I'm used to doing when I write an assignment. Right now I'm staring at a picture of a whale's tale as it dives into the ocean. It really looks kind of stupid and I can't think of anything else to say about it. You psychology people are strange and I wonder what the heck youre going to do with all these papers that are basically garbage. Are you going to do some experiment or what?  This is not what I am good at. Just writing what I think because I usually think about 3 or more subjects at a time and I can't type fast enough to get everything I'm thinking onto the page. Oh Well. Oops I made a grammatical mistake. this is very boring and I'm tired of typing. thank God I only have two more minutes of this. Hey now it's only one minute. Well, It's been nice sharing what 's in my brain with you and I hope you have fun studying what I've written for hours upon hours. I hope it helps in whatever you hope to accomplish. See Ya.
As I sit in front of my computer, trying to put my thoughts into words all I can think about is how tired I am. I am unable to concentrate on any given task that is related to school. All I see in the corner of my eye, is my roommate trying on my favorite black dress. I can't help but laugh, because she just got the sudden urge to try on my clothes. I feel distracted in many ways, because while I am trying to write this psychology paper my friends keep coming in and out of my room. This makes me feel that I am missing out, and I want to join in on the fun. I am also feeling very excited, because tomorrow is finally Friday and I get to see my best friend from high school. She goes to A&M, and it will be interesting to see how life is in Aggieland. This week was stressful and I am ready for a break. I find this assignment quite hard for many reasons. I am not comfortable with expressing my feelings or thoughts to a stranger. I also find this paper difficult because I have so many random thoughts running through my head and I don't want to sound ignorant. For instance, right now I am wondering why our neighbors constantly blare their music. It is very annoying, and is hard to concentrate. Right now the phone is ringing, and I am yet again distracted. I wonder who is on the other end and I am disappointed to find out that the call is not for me. It is hard being a freshman at a huge university such as UT but it makes it a hundred times better because I am rooming with one of my best friends from high school. Right now I am thinking about how much laundry we have left to do. Not fun! I have been writing my thoughts now for about 20 minutes, and I feel as though I wrote probably the most boring paper ever but those were my thoughts that crossed my mind!
I feel weird I know Im about to pull an all nighter and I have this eternal sense of flux but Im not in anguish at all Im actually euphoric some how like I said Im feeling weird that's why Im doing thins now I don't know really what Im supposed to say but I guess it doesnt matter well Im kind of at a stand still I hope you can read all of my word Im a totally phonetic speller you see Im dyslexic how ever you spell it well Ill just start talking then things are always weird well nothing is normal it's not suppose to be that would be incredible boring and stagnate but  it's just we never know were we are and never know exactly what we want and even if were some were we never know is this really were I want to be  is this what I want to do I guess it dont matter much were always were  we are and were always how we are entail we change which is normally but different than how I usually am because its different but Im not indecisive  I think I just question it all and Im yet to come up with the answer  tired but awake I actually like this and I cant what to participate in the  experiments ( Im lazy and all I do is procrastinate thats why this  allnighter thing is happening) tired but wanting to do my work I actually get cote up in it when I actually do it I like working but I procrastinate  there's all ways people to talk to and women to hit on and don't get me wrong I just need people my friend and especially the female ones I just need close  people that all is there to be with and together nothing more the one  but any way I get mad at my self for not doing what I need to in school because  I actually like it all I love learning but I just cant put my ass in the  chair and sit once I do I get it done and have fun doing it I still feel weird just lackadaisical and it's one of the few times I feel like reading and  studying even though I do like it when I do it I feel like Im giving you the  wrong info. just not what your looking for well sorry but it happens  I think I want to do work because my body wants me to sleep and Im just procrastinating from that like usual its also why Im taking so long to  do this its not reading its just like me sitting out side talking but I guess its enough and I hope it works for what you want  so  Ill put me always  phrase in here and say good bye   have fun
I guess the way I feel right now is overwhelmed. I just came back from a class of 540 students, which is double the number of kids in my whole graduating class. Although there are many students here who are so excited to be away from home and all on their own I wouldn't mind going back home and staying their for a while. I am very pleased with my life at home and this sudden change has left me to start all over. Although I know this is a part of life I feel as thought I am losing some of my childhood friends yet no one is replacing them. At first I told myself that is just how I feel and if those childhood friends felt the same then I might be right but this whole summer all of my high school friends were ready to leave for college. Now that we are all separated we understand how much we depended on each other. I have been here three days and everyday for at least an hour I have talked to my friend back home. I guess what scares me the most is that when you meet someone here you have no idea where they came from, where they have been, or what type of person they are. Back at home we all knew each others families, knew what type of person they where etc. I can truly same that moving to Austin has definitely made me reevaluate myself. Not to be cocky but back at home everyone knew who I was and what type of person I was, but here everyone thinks I am a nobody. I feel as thought I have to impress someone for him or her to approach me where at home others approached me. I guess the comfort of home was my stability and now that I am here I have to build a new foundation to start from. I am very great full that there is one other person from my school here because we are together all the time and it makes this transition just a bit easier. Now that we have started classes I am trying to busy myself with my work, which is, a good thing and then it seem as thought time goes by a lot faster. I think I just have to mental got myself ready for this semester and then I will be fine. I do like challenges and that is why I came to this university but the challenges I expected are not the ones I am having trouble adjusting too. It is completely different aspects of college life that has thrown me off.
I have just arrived from home. I went home this weekend for labor day and spent time with my family, friends,and everybosy else. The time I spent thier was very rapid, it went by so fast. Sometimes I miss home sometimes I think if what is going on over there I mean it is not a really big town, but it is a part of me. Now that I am here I like it at first I was knid of lonely, but now I am feeling better. I really need to get on reading for tommorrow. Am I going to do good this semester? What is going to happen? I have the potential to do good and I know I aam and can. Oh well, I really miss mando, he is a really great guy that really confuses me and at this point in my life I do not need that. He is over there I am here I mean that is crazy, I have to stop myself. Our relationship is getting to out of hand, to serious. That is not always bad, but right now tha is all I think about him, us. Should I stop talking to him, let go eventhough it hurts, I mean what do I do? I mean I am sitting here talking to a computer and letting out all my feelings and I don't even know who is going o read this, this is so crazy. What if I stop talking to him and it hurts, what if it breaks ny heart that is crazy. WHAT IF!!!!!! Anything can happen oh well I have to stop thinling about it and just see wat happens in the next days, weeks , months. I have so much reading to do for tommorrow, the next day and so on. What is wrong with me I am so crazy, I think about crazy things. Life out of high school is so f\different, it is so weird. Right now I am typing in my friends computer since my computer doesn't work , taht is really pissing me off. I wan t my computer I hate using other peoples things, I really want my computer fixed. I am going to look into that tommorrow. There are so many different types of people in this school, differnt places, intersts and so on. It is a whole different world here, but I really like it I started wanting to go to SEU and now I am here it is a big difference. I like it though, different is good, I like that. I really miss mando, he has had a huge impact in my life, my mom does not like him ofcourse, but I do. I really don't know how he feels about me he really confuses me. He is always on my mind I have to stop because it is interfering with everything. I look forward to going ome because I want to see I'm and my family. Gosh, this is the worst feeling I have so many things on my mind that I just cannot talk about them it relly pisses me off. Life is so complicated, but we have to take it as it comes and just ry to avoid the bad things.