So school has been interesting so far. I've come into this with preconceived notions of what it was going to be like, and I've surprised myself to find that it would be completely different. At the time, I have become increasingly known by a nickname that wasn't even self imposed, I've created a superficial personality that people associate with and attach themselves to. People love "dat Boi Tony" but hey. I guess I'm not too mad about it. it's good in the end, in some ways, and in some ways not. like for example, if I want people to know who I am, then they really do know who I am, and the introductory part of conversation is out of the way, but on the other hand, since people think they know who I am they won't bother to finish out the conversation and actually get to know who I am. really who am I anyway?  can it be defined by a label or name?  does it matter if I am Anthony Derrell Williams, Tony, or Dat Boi Tony. because some people can remember my name at all. I guess in some facets it really is irrelevant, but nobody really wants to be considered irrelevant. lol. it's like significance drives us, like a since of purpose, much like Agent Smith from the Matrix, but that movie was flawed in itself. It had no purpose. It started out as a great action flick that wanted to mean something in the end,  but that just didn't work. However Quentin Tarentino, did it right when I he made Kill Bill,  it was a simple plot with a unique character development, and that was the important part. many people thought that it was the action, but it truly was the characters that made the movie. that's why vol. 2 is better than vol. 1, no matter what the next person tells you. sure vol. 1 was composed of the best action sequences since the old Bruce Lee days (who is still better than Jackie Chan and Jet Li), but the story itself is what should draw you. on another note, a friend of mine has been dealing with several issues and decided he would post his thoughts and troubles on the internet for everybody to see, and now he's getting chewed out by a lot of people because nobody really has it in their hearts to really care. The problem here really is that he thinks he is opening his mind, but he really has closed the port and he has yet to mature. he can't take in new ideas or criticisms to better himself, the thinks he is fine as who he is. Emo SUX though. I had no formulated opinion about it until I seen what it is doing to him. he needs help. for real. the funniest part about it, is that my friend ended his cruel convo with him by quoting Nietzsche. "God is Dead. "  which is a very interesting quote. a statement made just to test the bounds of control that the state held on the people thought their interpretation of religion. if the person blindly tries to refute the statement without the use of reason. they are a tool, if they inject reason and use logic to prove why God is alive. then they are less of one. the point is, that the religious texts, such as the Koran, the Bible, etc. were written by man (inspired by God), which means they are subject to flaws. inherently and maybe intentionally,   if you could tell the people "thus said the lord" and you didn't want them to kill or steal or eat shellfish. then that's what you'd tell them. after all some people read from texts translated by Shakespeare. but I digress. I as a Christian would only have this much to say in return. if God is dead then that is irrefutable evidence to the fact that he existed. And if he truly is God and did exist,  Death has no binding power. defining death would then become the point and focus of reason and logic. What is death, what is death to a man, what is death to a beast, what is death to a god. And then I would say. yes, God in the form of man (Jesus) did die, for you and I. there's always a way to explain something in the logical realm, however some people are too closed minded to see even that. Sometimes, philosophy, even pomo philosophy, can be used to solidify faith because it makes somebody question themselves and why the believe what they believe. and if the answers to the self examination are satisfactory. that persons faith has become that much stronger. Well. yester I went to a labor day cookout. and there were some fine ladies there. You never notice how good somebody looks until they try to look good for you. that's the funny part about it all, I don't try that hard enough. I just wonder what other people's perception is of me. could I have had a chance with any of those girls, probably, but not likely. and this is where my reckoning begins. what are these girls looking for. attention? relationships?  or just good sex?   I could provide them with all 3, but hey there's only a small amount of me to go around. all jokes aside, with the truth being told, I really think attention is the centric thing that girls want. how they translate different actions to be attention is a different story, because girls are all so different. but all so much the same when the picture is generalized and magnified to show detail. and I like to look at detail. that's why I think I might be staying single for a while. even as hard as that is in a place like UT Austin.