I'm hungry. I want some ice cream but I don't want to walk downstairs to go get it. A massage sounds nice, doesn't it? Ryan said he'd give me a better one next time I drove to College Station to stay there again. But I don't know if I'll stay at Joey's again or not, it's just awkward with the whole Stephanie situation. I don't know what to do about her. She just ruins everything. Joey deserves so much better than her. But oh well, I have Thomas now. He seems like a really sweet guy. I was at first intimidated by him being so old, well I guess he's not really that old, just 21. But he will turn 22 in October. It still is kind of intimidating, but it's not that bad. I wonder if he'll call me back tonight. He called me earlier and I returned his call but he wasn't home. I wonder if he'll ask me to OU or if it will be assumed or what. Who knows. And I wonder if he goes for that whole cooler and painting and stuff. It was fun last year decorating Erin's OU stuff. I'm going to go broke so soon. That's why I might go home this weekend, I wouldn't have to pay for anything, lol. Hmm. I don't know. I'll probably go home, I haven't said anything to my parents yet, but I know my mom will most likely be jumping for joy. It doesn't seem like a month and a week since I've been up at school. It doesn't seem that long at all. I need to go check my laundry. Hmm. I bet it's done. Well never mind, I guess I won't be bringing Erin to A&M this weekend. I wonder when she was planning on telling me. Oh well, not my problem I guess. I was kind of hoping to see Brian, though. I already told him I might be coming down, oh well. I doubt he'll remember or really even care that much. That boy needs to get his butt up here to see me! I'm sure he will sometime. I wonder if Thomas will dress up for our KD confidential. What rock star would I be? I was kind of thinking the whole Madonna theme, with the cone bra and everything but I was totally kidding! I don't think I'd have the courage to waltz into Park Avenue with a cone bra on. I don't know what kind of rock star I'd be, though. I guess I have lots of choices. Cher. nah, I don't think I'd want to be her. I'm tired. I haven't been able to sleep much lately. I actually went to bed early last night but I kept waking up, which sucks because the whole point of going to bed early is get some sleep, but noooooooo that would've been too easy. Oh well. I don't think I like Kelli. It's like she's trying to take over my life, it's very annoying. Why does Nicole always seem to come in here when I'm trying to study? Ugh. Oh well. Baskin Robbins sounds good right about now. I have a car this year which is a lot nicer. I want to go tubing still. It seems like I can just never get there. Either everyone's gone or no one wants to go or we don't have the money. but I want to go, dammit! I need a tan, I haven't laid out in so long, but if I go home this weekend, I'll definitely be swimming and I'll get a tan then. I also want to go home to see my dog, I haven't even seen him yet! He weighs 5 pounds now! Doobie doobie doo. my car needs to be washed so badly! I drove around forever today looking for a car wash. There are so many gas stations here but do they have car washes, noooooo that would be too easy! Life just seems like it's out to get me sometimes. Anything I want to happen, the exact opposite always seems to happen. Will life ever seem to go my way? Even Thomas is going back to Houston in the spring for some job or something but it's only for 2 and a half months, but I'm totally getting ahead of myself about that situation. I don't know what to do about guys, they're so damn complicated. They're so stupid. Erin is so happy, I'm so jealous of her and Pat. He totally adores her. I want someone to adore me, but noooooo that would make life too easy, too. Chris could adore me, but I know it's bad, but he's Hispanic and I think that would make life so hard. Some people can be so cruel and I don't want to be ridiculed or stared at or something. But Chris is so totally sweet, he would be just wonderful, I know he would. But I totally don't know how my mother would react to me dating a Hispanic guy. And my grandparents would have a shit fit, but he's so wonderful and I know he would treat me totally right. Maybe I will someday, but he's not even here, he's at a&m and god knows I've dated 4 aggies! 4! It's just ridiculous. Food food food food food food food food food food food food, I'm hungry. I'm going so broke, I don't know how I'll make it through the year, I might have to work in the spring but I think that would make life so hard with the sorority and school and I totally don't want to use up my weekends. Dude, I just don't understand why Joey broke up with me. I know he and Stephanie are together. She's so psycho. I hate her. I only hate 2 people in my life and she's one of them. Life is so unfair, I would treat him so much better than her. I just don't get it! Aggghhhhhh! Ah well, something better is in store for me, right? I hope so anyways. I want an apt. I get so sick of Amy running up and down the hall every night screaming, I swear, does she just get drunk every night??? I'm getting so tired of it. Yuck. Someone's teacher is in jail, no never mind, I'm listening to erin's conversation. I really hope our friendship doesn't fall apart because we're roommates. I think she gets tired of me sometimes and it really hurts me. She gets in these moods like Angela does and I really don't want us to end up like me and Angela. I thought our friendship would be different. But Kelli's also getting on my nerves, she's totally taking away Erin from me. Ugh, I just can't stand her now. I want to take a hot bath. I want to cook something. I want to curl up in a small blanket and watch sad country love songs on CMT. 2 more minutes. This is taking forever. I think I'll go get some ice cream after this, no I really need to check my laundry. Someone's probably already taken my clothes out of the wash and they're just sitting on top of the dirty washing machine now. Great. I don't understand some people. Whoops, I need to call Brian, too. I will whenever I get done with this. One more minute. Our room smells so good, Erin's burning some candles. Does Nicole ever study? I don't think so. She's kind of getting on my nerves, too, taking away Erin.