I keep thinking about this White Stripes song and I cannot remember the name of it so I can download it. It continues to anger me. Its really dark in here so I should open the blinds, but I think right now there is a glare through a window and that would  not be good since my computer faces it. Just a minute ago my keyboard was making me really mad. It would freeze up and I couldn't type certain letters. It made me so mad. I wonder what Ben is doing right now. He wasn't online but I know he doesn't have to work today so I am curious what he is doing. I called him earlier today and then when I got out of school. I really miss him and I am glad I get to go home next Friday. I also miss my dog, Rosie. I wonder if she thinks about me or maybe thinks I am dead or something. Mom said she looked for me a little bit. I can't believe my credit card got denied. That makes me so mad since Mom sent the check like a week and a half ago. I wonder if I can get on the website and look at my balance. Dad is such a cheap guy. I can't believe that he thinks I can live on $250 a month. I guess I could but that would mean I couldn't buy everything I want and since Mom isn't here to take me shopping and buy stuff for me, I have to buy it for myself. I just got back from Walgreens and I am also getting really mad  because my car is really dirtier every time I get in it. There is bird crap all over it since it is under that tree. I kind of like the spot and the shade, just not the crap. I wonder when I will start to feel better. I need to take that medicine. I can't stop coughing now and I couldn't in class either. I bet it made the people around me hate me. It feels weird to have already eaten dinner at 6:30. It kind of sucks that they serve it from 5 to 6:30 because I am used to it at like 7:30. The food here is not all that great but there is a better variety than Mom makes. I am so excited about going home next weekend and sleeping in my double bed. It is really hard to get used to sleeping in a twin when I usually sprawl out all over the double. My bed also has that poofy thing that needs to flatten out because it makes it harder to sleep. Bennett borrowed one of my scarves today and that also made me mad. I don't mind that she borrowed it but I really wished she would have asked first. Some of her clothes are really ugly I think. I don't know I guess that is what you get coming from Podunk, TX. I like her a lot but I just feel like she thinks she is hot stuff and it also pisses me off that she rushed and I didn't. I really would like to know how someone like her was accepted and I wasn't. I'm not saying that she is gross or anything. I just think that I should have gotten into a good one also. It makes me mad and disappointed and upset all at the same time simply because I always pictured myself being in a sorority and I never expected rush to go that way at all. It kind of hurts even worse since everyone on my hall has all of the decorations and all of that stuff. Claire also made me mad last night when she started eating all of my goldfish and stuff. I have so much homework to do and all I want to do is go to sleep. I feel awful because my nose is running and my throat and ears hurt, plus I keep coughing. I wonder if it is just allergies or if I actually have a cold. Mom said she would make an appointment with Dr. Eldredge when I go home so that he can see me if I need him to. I really like him a lot more than Dr. Audrey because he isn't psycho and he is really young. That makes me think of Paschal and Fort Worth because his office is down that way. Man I really want to go to Ol South. I really am kind of homesick. I have been trying not to think about it because it makes me really sad. I think I miss Rosie and Mom the most. I miss Ben but I am beginning to think that we are not right for each other. The other night when we went to those frat parties I was thinking that I don't know if I can do it or not. I am not sure whether I am missing him or missing the attention and also I know that we are not really in love and I don't see myself loving him. I really miss what Eric and I had and I think that is really the only relationship that I have been in where I was in love. I think Eric is mad at me because I called him the other day and he never called me back. I wonder if things would have ended up differently if he had gone to school or even had a better career path than he does. I really miss him but I don't think I could do the long distance thing with him any better. Plus, I know there were things wrong with him too. I really wish I could combine the traits of both people I like and make a boyfriend specified to my desires. I bet everyone does. I can't believe how tired I am. I wish I could just go to bed right now. Maybe I will take some Tylenol PM. Although that didn't help me at all last night. Everyone is gone to their sorority meetings now so I think I am the only one here. Oh well that's okay I will get a lot done. There were these guys in class today that