Its really hard to write what I am thinking about because when I am asked to do that, I think about what to write. I then go and think of other things that are on my mind and really don't need to be shared with the general public. What I am physically feeling right now is heat. Our house is hot although we have the a/c running non stop. Mentally, I am confused. The thoughts that go through my head at times make me think that I am crazy and that I should seek help. I am not the only one who thinks that but my family members and my friends also think that I should get some help. But truthfully, there is no help. Who controls the mind?  Ones self controls the mind. All I really have to do is concentrate and I can control myself. Powerful things can be accomplished with mind control. Its odd how sometimes I know what people are going to ask me before they ask me. It happens allot. Then people look at me in an akward form. I don't know how that happens. It just does. I can also go through the thought process of other people. Sometimes, when my friends perform certain actions, I can think the exact same thing they were thinking at the time they were doing that. The only time this thought process causes a problem is when I am reading the news and read about acts of violence against children. Its not that great when you can place yourself in the shoes of the aggressor when you really don't want to. Its all invouluntary. This would be allot easier if I was writing in pencil. I think faster when I am writing things down. It helps me organize my thoughts. When I speak to people, I like to confuse them. Sometimes I confuse them so much, they believe that a conclusion was reached at the end of our conversation but when they think about it, they find out that I only caused them to think of more questions. I don't know why I enjoy that. When we think, what do we think about the most?  What is easier or what needs a solution. Writing about what I think is hard. I am not sure if I think of too many things at once or just don't think at all. I do just stop thinking and drift off into my own world and just stay there, thoughtless?  Feelings:  mixed feelings. Not sure what to do with my life. Would prefer not to be in college but know that sucess comes with knowledge. Psychology has interested me since I was a child. I like knowing what people are thinking about. That is what I do; I observe. But observation comes with a price. Since I play the role of observer, it is hard for me to actually detail what is going on in my day and not others. People think that I really don't want to talk much about myself (which is true to some extent). What really happens is that I don't know how to organize my daily activities to be shared with others. Silence is my audience when I am by myself. But when I need to concentrate and do my homework, I need noise. I can not concentrate where it is quiet. The silence distracts me. When I read, I listen to music. When I do other homework that does not involve reading, I listen to music, talk to others, and also do the homework of another class at the same time. I need distractions to concentrate. Another physical pain came to my mind. I have back pain. Most times, I take pain killers to ease the pain. The pain killers I use arent that effective and they are stong pain killers. I take Hydrocodone and Naproxen 500 mg each. I sometimes take two naproxen and one hydrocodone or vice versa. That does very little to ease the pain. Since they are so effective, I just don't take them and deal with the pain. Thanks to my servere back pain, I am now not affected by other types of pain. I need a new body. I also have knee pains. I have joint pain. I am overweight. I need to do something with my life. Something new. I would like to skydive. Life is not worht living if you don't take risks. I ran out of things to write about. I lost my stream of consciousness. I need the weekend to be here so that I can catch up on my homework. I procrastinate too much. I have talked to a psychiatrist before. It really didnt help. Nothing helps. Once must deal with their problems themself and keep them to themself. Contorl them with ones mind and keep them undercontrol.