Now I am really annoyed. I already typed a stream of consciousness for 20 minutes. But when I clicked on Finish, it had an error. I have to do this entire thing AGAIN. ARG. It is almost 1 am and I'm really tired. But I can not go to sleep or feel accomplished until I finish this. This is exactly why computers are annoying. They have problems, and if you did not save your work. Everything you did before is totally lost. I just finished filling out the forms for crew. My hand is already a little sore from signing so many forms and such. I think Emily just got offline. Vivek just Im'ed me. He rarely im's me anymore. We used to be best freinds, but now things are just weird between us. He once confessed that he loved me, but I didn't feel the same way. So I reacted badly and got mad at him. I felt that he was ruining our friendship, which is exactly what ended up happening. So now he and I both have our own boyfriend and girlfriend, but it's just not the same. Otto just imed me too. I want to talk to him. And he should have been able to call 15 minutes ago since I was SUPPOSED to be done with this assignment already. But NO. the stupid internet and connection had to go crazy on me. I do kind of wonder if the TA's now have to read TWO of my writings. Oh well. I'm too lazy. I'm so tired. I walked and started training for rowing. At least I'm not as scared anymore since the girls did not look any different from me. So we are all in the same boat. I just have this fear of being too buff. But I do need to work out and get more fit. If i don't make the rowing team, I think i will try to join the newspaper. I used to be on yearbooks, I still have to submit my application for officer for CTSA. Too much to do. People say how college students shouldn't overwhelm themselves teh frist year. But i personally think that the first is the best and more important year. So I should be going out, trying out everything that i possibly can. And then later i can decide which select few clubs/orgaizations/activites are important to me. I did almost everything my freshman year in high school, but by my senior year it was reduced to just debate, orchestra, NHS, and STAND. Hopefully I can do the same thing for college. But, with more pretigous titles so I can get a good job. I think life is redundant. All we do it work, eat, and sleep. Honestly, what is the purpose of life? We live it to teh fullest extent, but still what is the point. I can join thousands of clubs and do thousands of activies and be the richest person alive and most powerful. But in the end, we all die. Nothing is any different. Humans are humans, and we just seem to have no real purpose. I guess thats too deep of a question to be thinking of this late. But I always think the most right before I go to sleep. My mind always goes on overdrive. And i suddenly think/contemplate things that I would not have during the day. Yes, EMily is offline. She didn't even bother to IM me. It bothers me that she just uses me and I let her. Maybe I should just ignore her, but who knows. I've known her too long to give up our werid love-hate friendship that we have. I'm afraid that this writing assignment is going to be judged and graded also from our grammer and spelling, and punctuation. Mine is really bad. I have so many typos and such because when I bother to backspace and correct my mistakes, I lose my train of thought. I always seem to think faster than I can type. I think it's the same for everyone else too. I love this song by The sky is blue, baby i love you. . Martina McBride's song is so pretty. I love happy songs. emotioanlly attracted, physically active. the lyrics are going to be stuck in my head later, I just know it. Baby I love you. sigh, I still have 5 more minutes. My brain is getting tired of thinking or trying to slow down my thoughts to the point where I can type them all down. My roommate isn't in the room right now. She's never here at night, but she takes so many naps during the day. It's very odd. Her schedule is screwed up. But at least I don't have to worry about bothering her from all my loud typing. I'm sure it must sound really annoying. She doesn't even have a computer. I don't understand how she can stand that. I live and breathe for my computer, even though I am totally computer illiterate. I had to have my boyfriend and guy friends show me how to download music. My younger sister is even better with computers than me. Hopefully my MIS310 class will teach me more about computers so I do nt always feel so incompetant. And then I will also learn how to make my own web-page. I think that sounds like a lot of fun. This seems to be a lot to read. I wonder if the TA's actually read everyone's   essay.  Or maybe they just give us a check for completion. I dont' remember what the instructor said in class. Sometimes I get my classes mixed up. Thats why I have to color code everything, and orgainze my stuff. I am such a neat freak. My roommate is really messy and it bothers me. But not as much as I would have thought it would. She keeps it on her side, so it's not too bad. But I also have to LOOK at her side of the room. I try to sit and face my side of the room since its so much prettier. HEHE, i think that sounded really conceited. Not to