ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
Ok. . i;m sitting in this computer lab of this co-op I'm supposed to like and really bond with. Unfornuately, I don't like the people very much,it smells, and the kitchen always wreeks of too much garlic (like a disgusting amount. )  Oh well. But I really like this keyboard. I think typing on a good keyboard is very important. It can really effect your typing and writing experience. It also has this great squishy thing for my wrists to sit on. All I want to do is pinch it all day. But there are other things I have to do. :)  ok. what next. well some say I'm very neurotic, but my boyfriend was supposed to call around noon and I've called 3 times already and he hasn't picked up the phone. It kind of worries me when he's that late at returning my phone calls. THEN I think about this really great hair iron I just got a week ago and how wonderful it is. It's so wierd that something could make your hair look so healthy when it is actually so damaging for your hair. Get this. it get's so hot, that i've had serious burns on my hands from just barely touching it. They don't like to sell this iron to regular consumers (I guess I know why) but I got a special hook up. Now here's where I get neurotic. I'm really scared that I DIDN'T turn off the iron this morning before I left and I wanted to tell Chad to check when he wakes up. BUT what if he hasn't woken up because the whole upstairs is on fire and he's lying there unconscious or even dead?????  See what I mean?  I'm a huge worrier. Sometimes I feel that I could strech my brain so far that I could litterly make myself crazy with worry. Well, my feeling is. what if it were actually true?  you know, bad things have to happen to sombody. Why does everyone think they won't happen to THEM????  Well, technically, If I were to leave the iron on, it would probably just deconstruct itself and melt the plastic tub underneath it. But it could get hot enough to start a fire, I guess. you never know. Well now I'm getting hungry and I'm trying to decide how to spend my time before going to Psychology at 3:30. I have to put a note on this girl's door so she can help me find a replacement so I can get out of the god-awful place and then I have to check my labor assignments and then I have to check the phone book for the nearest cell phone provider so I can get a phone charger replacement. Whew!!!  quite a day. Oh, and I have to cancel an appointment with my dad because I just want to spend a few hours with my boyfriend. It that so wrong!!!!????  I saw my Dad for 3 hours yesterday and he still wants more time the following day!!!  Sometimes people just drive my crazy.
well I guess I begin. anyway, I don't really have a clue as to what I'm thinking or feeling at the moment actually. I'm hoping that the psychology computer gets this even though I'm not saving it in word processor but whatever. I had a good day today well I guess. I went to mason's funeral. things just. well. I can't really place how I feel about that. well I'm upset, but can't place exactly why. but I don't feel like talking about this. I'm interested in the weirdness and indecisiveness of my mind. my husband just walked over here to check out what I'm writing. he only had to read the first few sentences to figure out exactly or should I say how inexactly my mind works. now, why does it work like that? your guess is as good as mine. but whatever. I wish I had a game of some sort. maybe just a pet to play with. I love my husband very very much anyway my friend reggie used to write sort of like this in a metaphorical way. anyway. I feel like I'm throwing off the experiment by writing stupid shit. perhaps in another place another time will unfold to a utopia that sings the praise of wrath in a time where pain is nonexistent but perhaps that makes no sense. but anyway I guess I'll keep on typing what pops into this head of mine or theirs or his or hers. from laura's box or my box. I hope lisa gets my time card I'm pretty sure I turned it in but I can never really be sure of anything. now can I? so I'll continue about the unicorns of relentlessness and the dwarfs of forgetfulness while I sing. la. la. la. but to be exact well my mind seems to be shutting down. I don't have thoughts all the time like most people. the only person I've met who doesn't either is my mom wait but maybe I have thoughts that are just on hold or don't ever quite make it to where my interpreters can interpret my interpretations of the world around me. but anyway I believe in god I believe in nothing also. but how can that be. it's a "metaphysical can of worms" that we've just opened up now isn't it no I'm not. it hasn't been twenty minutes yet yep that's right. sorry to burst your bubble but that's what I want to do anyway I happen to be learning quite a bit about myself at this point. in fact this is rather therapeutic. what would he write if he had to write for twenty minutes I think that these should be anonymously posted so that I can feel better knowing that someone is just as nutty as I am. or even that I'm not ridiculous. anyway I doesn't. blah blah so
Im finally getting to write this. I should have done this two weeks ago. well my girlfriend came by, shes in high school still, and she's going to miss the rest of the day to be with me, but first she has to go to the doctor. I really love her alot. damn I hate it when people call me and want all this information, they really piss me off. Dalmatians arent good dogs once they get bigger. they are really mooding and alot are being brought to the animal shelter, I dont work there or anything, I just heard it on the radio. I work at the library, but Im not working today because I broke my finger playing softball with my brother, I got 4 hits, but its nothing like baseball, Im going to walk on at UT but I dont know if ill make it or not, but Im going to give it my best try. me and my girlfriend have been going out for a month now, we met about 8 months ago and dated a bit then, but nothing serious ever happened, thats probably because I was still hung up over my old girlfriend. but know its just me and her and we are in love. weve only had sex once and I think thats good, because with my ex-girlfriend thats all we ever did when we were with each other, and it became pure sexual. I dont want that to happen with Erin(my girlfriend now) I really really want to get serious with her, I think I found the girl I could spend the rest of my life with sounds strange, but I really think I have. anyway I wish shed hurry up and get back I miss her. I think the reason we havent had sex more often is we never have the opportunity, her parents or grandmother are always home and my parents are home too, but I think that will change. I hope we stay together forever, and I know shes does because she feels stronger about our relationship than I do, so I know I wont have anything to worry about. six more minutes and Im finished, oh well I think this is fun. the simpsons are stupid, I use to like it when I was younger, but now I think its just stupid, Im going to kill myself, just kidding, my brother and his wife are both psychology majors, my brother went to swt for fours years and know is a police officer, and his wife went to Texas for like 8, she was on the deans list and everything shes super smart. well Im getting on out of here, its was nice talking but I need to go to class,
Right now I feel like there must be something more important that I could be doing. That's not to say that what I'm doing right now is unimportant, but I feel that there is something more imperative looming. I feel like I need to clean my room because all of my clutter is getting annoying to look at. I feel like I brought to many things with me to college in order to ensure my comfort, but all these things are only making me more uncomfortable by their presence. Tomorrow I have a test in chemistry that I think is going to be really easy. Hopefully it turns out as easy as I think it will. I don't really need any surprises right now. I wonder if the medication I'm taking for my earache is giving me all these rashes or if it's just the less than par level of cleanliness in the mighty Jester East. I heard that it's dirtier than Jester West but I'm beyond caring. Rat dander and roach feces don't bother me until I see them. The only thing that really nags me about my dorm room is the bed. Who knows what nasty things that old mattress harbors? If I was really anal retentive I wouldn't be able to sleep on it because of the thought of all the stuff that it has probably accumulated over the years, but instead I succumb to fatigue, grimace in disgust, and lay my head down once again. Speaking of which, my head itches. Rat dander, I tell you. In addition to my concern over the probable existence of rat dander is my concern over the obvious existence of dust. I have never seen quite so much dust. They told us that the air conditioning system wasn't working properly and that they were working on it. It appears to work just fine in regards to spewing dust all over my precious things that annoy me so much. I guess I'll just have to buy some eye drops to go along with the calamine lotion for all these rashes I've been getting. I got the last bottle at Jester store. It was sitting there sort of lonely like it didn't belong at all so I just grabbed it up. I scoff at the poor soul who doesn't develop rashes until a few days from now for he will be forced to go elsewhere for calamine. I think my leg rash might be flaring up again. That sucks. I wish I had absolutely nothing that I needed to do right now because then I could just sit in front of the tv watching a movie and scratching my leg. Now that's the life. Too bad I'm bogged down with college and all of this success waiting to happen to sit around and do nothing. And so ends my stream of consciousness as I am much too absorbed in my itchy leg to think any longer. Plus my 20 minutes is up.
At first when I came to UT I was really scared that I was not going to make any friends. Right away I met many people and made many acquaintances. I am not sure I have made any really good friends. I feel lonely many of the times even though I am constantly around different people. For me to feel good is to be loved and that is not happening. First of all, I have no family near me which removes that area of love. My best friend, Milan, is one who I can turn to. or so I thought. He seemed to have become distant from me than usual and I did not appreciate it. Actually it made me jealous because I need attention. So then I began to think that I might like him more than a friend. One of my good friends ended up telling him that I like him. It made things worse than before. But now he likes me and still wants to date other people. I think I really like him so this bugs me. I don't know what I should tell him. I think that he does not like me the way I like him. He told me he was going to come over today but he did not. He did not even bother to call and let me know that he was not going to come. He is probably out, clubbing or something. It was rude of him to not even give me a call. Situations such as these make we wonder if anyone really does care about me. I feel like some how I am always betrayed. Why is that? I wish I could be happy in my life. That is all that I ask for and wish for in my life. I feel like nothing really makes me happy. I am not saying I am always sad and my life sucks because this is not the case. I am just saying that sometimes I am sad and maybe sometimes I am content with my life. Content is not good enough for me. I want true happiness and not by myself but with another person. I am trying to find that happiness but it is way out of my reach. Why is that? Why me? I ask myself these questions all the time and ponder to myself. I think that in life I will never really be successful or anything because I get lonely really easily. I can't even go to the store by myself or to the grocery store. I need someone to go with me. Is that a bad thing? I think that it is because I am not very independent. I want to have someone with me all the time because I like the company. My best friend also tells me that I crave attention. I don't know about all that. Maybe I do though, who knows? School is stressful for me. There is so much studying to do and I feel like I have no time to do it. There is time though but I don't like to be alone. And to study you need to be alone to really get things done right. I guess I just need to figure out my stuff and then everything will be ok. Hopefully all will work out best.
I am watching t. v. and waiting for my friends to get here from out of town. which I don't even know if they are going to show up because they are taking a really long time. I like that movie 50 first dates. I said that because I'm watching t. v. oh I already said that. well any way I am just so bored trying to finish my homework before tommorow just so I won't have a lot to do during the week. I'm waiting for my boyfriend to come home also, but he'll be here on friday. I wish he wasn't in san antonio right now. it always seems like gets down when he visits san antonio. and now he's at the hospital because his cousin stopped breathing. I pray to God that she's. I had one of those pop ups come up because I am on my slow, old computer. I watching the monk. I love the monk because it's mysteries. and the monk always has some cool way to figure out the murders. it's a marathon and I'm starting to get tired of watching it. I hope that venus williams wins in her tennis match today. that will shut some of those people that are saying rude things about her father up. I like both of the sisters but venus hasn't won in a long time so I think it's her turn to take the crown. I am almost half way through this writing assignment. I keep reminding myself that I need to take a look at the experiments so I can sign up for them. I forget how many hours I need. Oh I just looked at the paper, it says 5 hours. I don't know what to write because I haven't been involved in a lot of interesting activities. I wish my friends lived in austin then I wouldn't have to rely so much on seeing derrick. I hope this isn't the same monk, it is so I need to change the channel. I don't know what to watch we got this digital cable but it repeats the channels over and over. Derrick is going to have to give them a call and let them know that. I hope that wasn't intented. man, there is nothing to watch on labor day. I hope I got my class code right because I didn't write it down. that wasn't very smart. now I'm watching the source awards from two years ago on BET. I got to find something a little better to watch. I just changed to what not to wear. I think this show is nice because it makes people over to look so nice. that would be nice in a way if someone did that to me, but then I would be affended that people don't like the way I dress. I have always wanted to be a model, but as they say it takes money to make money. I have this filling that I might win the lottery but I guess everyone has that feeling. I love to talk about what I would do if I won the lottery. I would certainly give my mother a good sum of money and also my step dad. I would give my father enough so that he could retire from the army and not have to work anymore. I would also give my boyfriend a good sum of money because
I am thinking about why exactly I am writing this. I am thinking about how each of my fingers move to touch the keys. Roseanne is on and it is starting to distract me. I really should pay attention to the writing but the sound of the people speaking is distracting me. The show is talking about feminism, which brings up an interesting point. I really don't like women who are amazingly feministic. I just forgot what my next thought was. Oh well, I feel kinda of hungry. Maybe I should get something to eat. But instead I have this laptop sitting on me while I try to type my steam of consciousness. Speaking of stream of consciousness, which I spelled wrong above. The stream of consciousness is something that I read in the textbook. Some doctor of psychology came up with this idea that monitoring the stream of consciousness will lead to people understanding more about themselves. Roseanne just made a joke and it is funny. But as I was thinking or writing which ever one your prerogative chooses. Before I digress, or maybe I will or maybe I won't. Now that I choose to reflect on my day I realize that I didn't get that much accomplished, but there is still a lot of the day left. I am really not sure where I am going from here. There was just a commercial about the aggie came against utah. boy I sure do love hi I just answered my phone and it is Kristi my friend she is also in psychology. we are talking about this assignment. she is walking back from the dobie center. I am supposed to meet her and her friend Richard. I am going to play Richard in football on the video game. Boy I really like football. Like I was saying I love football and I can't wait till the game against Arkansas. Boy that is sure going to be a good game. I just happened to notice that I only have six minutes left to write. I really like this assignment it is really fun. My hands are getting tired of typing and I just thought back to when professor said that someone put in instructions to a vcr that is definitely funny. I really don't like Roseanne but somehow she is getting my attention. I am really trying to concentrate on what I am thinking but I believe that is the reason it is hard for me to write more, because I am thinking so hard. My computer fan just turned on and that means it is starting to get hot. But in here it is actually cool. Speaking of my dorm room, I really like it. Well my 20 minutes is up but I am just going to finish writing this last line right here.
I am at my friends house right now because I don't have a computer to use at my home. I just decided to get this assignment over with. This room is really hot. There are four people in this house right now. Jack, Richard, Julie, Sarah, and me. My girlfriend, Sarah is asking everyone of us to quiz her on her vocabulary that she has to memorize by Friday. It is very noisy in here and Jack is telling me to shut up. I really want to get drunk and have fun but I can't because I have school tomorrow. I need to stay focused on my school work and keep myself in control. I'm only a Freshmen and I'm really worried about UT because of the horror stories all my upperclassmen friends told me about. My father told me to concentrate on my studies because it is my responsibility to do excellent in school. He said that it is my life that I'm preparing for, not his. I'm also using my money because I'm using the loan that I received. I've been dating my girlfriend for two and half months and I think we're doing good. Everything is working just right. I cant wait till this weekend so I dont have to worry about school for about two days. Actually, I have to do some reading and a short homework. I wonder if anyone sent me a E-mail. I better check it when my twenty minutes is up. I cant believe how much money I spent ever since I came to Austin. I spent so much on food, clothes, gas, and more food. Oh yeah, and mostly important, the books!  (Yeah right!) Oh man! I did so bad in Philosophy today. I read my homework but still got a zero because the quiz was a little tricky. This is kind of fun expressing my thoughts on the computer. Oh!  Twenty minutes are up!  Bye Bye!
Okay so I'm just going to start typing. Cough Cough I wonder how I got sick. Did I catch something from Joe because he was sick last week but maybe it was from sleeping with the fan on high. Oh well I'm feeling better today than I was before. Wow it hasn't even been two minutes yet. How am I going to keep thins up for twenty?  Oh well at least it doesn't really matter what I type. I wish I knew how to type faster. I have to slow my brain down to get my fingers to keep up. Stupid geometry book. I hope that I did my homework proofs right. Thanks so much Mr. Knight for not making me do proofs in high school geometry. I'm really not an orange juice fan, but I have to drink it so that I can tell John that I did so he won't worry about me not getting enough vitamin C with my cold. Ooh I need to plug my cell phone in I think it's about to die. I'm really glad I called Mama today on the bus ride home. I miss her. I wonder what I should get her for her birthday. It seems like it was her birthday just yesterday. This year went by super fast. Six minutes down fourteen to go. I'm starting to get hungry. What do I want for dinner tonight?  I kind of want to order some chicken wings but I shouldn't they're to fattening and we have tons of food here. I should make something. maybe I'll just heat up some chicken and dumplings. That would feel good on my throat. That tomato soup I had the other day was really good too, even if it was hill country fair or whatever that crazy generic HEB brand is. I miss Brookshire's and good old Hi Top brand. Nobody here has even heard of Brookshire's. I guess it's because their all from Houston. Fuck Houston. Houston is not Texas. People who say they've been to Texas but have only been to Houston haven't been to Texas. Any way doo doo doo dooty doo. I'm seriously running out of thoughts to type. cough cough I need to go to John's to get my Roubatusin. I'm fairly certain that's not how you spell that but oh well I never claimed to know how to spell anything. Today I saw this girl over near the MLK statue with food in her hands holding it out to the birds and she let pigeons and grackles land on her hand and eat out of it. Not only let them but wanted them to. I had to laugh because I realized that girl must not know shit about shit" to quote the Daily Show. Only five more minutes woo hoo. Let's see when I'm done here I should work on my Spanish homework but I think instead I'll fill in my new uncalandar. I was so excited when I found it at the co-op today. I had one last year and I loved it. Then I went back this year and I couldn't find them. When I saw them today I bought two in case they didn't have them again when I go to buy school supplies next August. Okay two and a half more minutes. I wonder if I should stop in mid sentence when tim is up or finish my thought. Did it say that in the instructions and I wasn't paying attention?  Oh well I'll cross that bridge when I get there. I can't believe I forgot to print the confirmation page for my pretesting  I hope I get that credit  That was one of the most boring experiences of my life I would hate to think it was all for nothing. Or naught as John would say.
I am moving my foot back and forth and I find that to be very reliving for me . I can't believe that the only thing keeping me for getting married is my girlfriend, is that such a big deal am I ready for all that stuff. who is the best person I can talk to that won't ever judge me, I think that it is my girlfriend. I can't believe her,  she is so rude to me when I do something that is not good as far as she is concerned. hard to believe is not it. I don't want to talk about this any more because I am not to worried about it. I have to swim in this thing some day  I use to play football for A&M. I walked on my freshman year and now I don't do anything. I wish I could do something like that now not only reason to stay in shape and but also because I miss it and I want to play again. I type to slow I am very tired of it and I need to go.