ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
Well I have been thinking about a dream I had last night which was bothersome. I have only vomitted twice in my life and so my dream had to do with me throwing up all over the place and in my dream I was trying to wake up from the dream because I don't like throwing up. I was also thinking about all of my school work. I am very frustrated with the pre-testing website because I can never get on it. There always seems to be some sort of technical difficulty, and I don't know what to do about it and so I came up with one solution and that is to get Netscape Navigator but that also didnt work out like I had hoped. So I tried to see if there was a problem with my Internet provider so that whole thing is causing a lot of frustration for me. Well I don't like thinking about it too much because I am hoping sometime between now and September 11th my problem willl be solved. I am also overwhelmed in my spanisk 312L class which my last semester of a language and it is very difficult and I dread going to class every MWF from 12-1. As I am writing this I keep thinking about how the instructions of this assignment says not to worry about grammar but I still have to make sure that I haved spelled every word correctly not so much the punctuation but the spelling. This assignment is very fun for me. Also I am thinking about the conversation my roommates and I had last night about God right after we were discussing God in class on Monday. We had a two or so hour conversation about death and God after I had stated that the ONE subject that I do not like talking about is death. So ofcourse we talk about death and then we go on to have a deep conversation which is something I enjoy doing from time to time just to see what other people feel about certain topics. I am also constantly thinking about guys that I used to know in high school and the one or two that are a year younger than me that I still talk to and that have at one point or another had an attraction to but don't know what will come of it meaning whether or not I will stay friends with the two boys as time goes on. I am also thinking about what is going on on the television show that is on in my room. It has to do with sexual harassment and it is the guy accusing the woman of sexual harassment at a Dominos Pizza Company. And he won the landmark case. It is funny because the comedy show that was on prior to the present show had to do with the same issue. Well that is all --- This assignment was very pleasing to me because I enjoy doing assignment like this.
it is about 93% hispanic and 5% anglo and 3% other. my house is an hour west of south padre island, where my family owns a condo at suntide I and a sailboat in which we dock it at the sea ranch. I will arrive home aroung four thirty or five to go back to my highschool and surprise my boyfriend jason. he will be practising basketball when iget there because he doen't expect me home till six. then I will go home and see my mom, sister,and dog cocoa. cocoa is a chocolate lab that has been missing me very much . she gets extreemly excited every time my boyfriend goes over thinking that I should be around there some where. around seven I will leave  to go to about an hour of a football game. see the cheerleading squad that I miss and the band march which I miss just as much. then from there iwill leave and go to the beach, with jason. my mon and sister willalready be there. when I get there my mom promised to bbq my favorite foods, since the dorm food has already gotten old. then at the beach I will spend quality time with my family and take cocoa for walks on the beach, where she loves to run in the ocean and chase sea gulls. I most importantly can't wait to take those long romantic walks on the beach at night with my boyfriend, whom I love and miss very much. on saturdaymy dad and little brother will meet us there after the hunting trip. sunday my  neighbors will come down. they are my family down there because our closest relative is in wisconsin. they will bring all there children, which adds up to seven. my boyfriends parents and little brother will also be meeting us down there as well. I can't wait to spend time with all those people, and  tell them about my new family up here. I just got into a sorority, a week ago tomorrow. alpha delta pi  is the one that I got into, and I love it. they make us study ten hours a week at the house which I think will a positive thing for everyone. however I will miss my roommate this weekend. her name is alyssa bauer and is also a engineerig major like myself. I'm going into civil though and she is going into mechanical. but we get along very well. this is her lab top that I', writing  this assignment on right now. she is so sweet. she is even saportive of me being in  a sorority. and we went pot luck.
College presents a life that is quite different from home life! Having to adjust the many changes is both challenging and fun! Doing laundry is a task that I am almost positive that I will never become accustomed to! It is boring and time consuming! When I visit home I appreciate the clean clothes in my closet even more, since they are clean and I wasn't the one to clean them! However, the independence I now have is unexplainable. I realize that I am in control of my life now and the direction I will go! Sure I had control of my life before college, but my parents were there to guide me and make sure I made the right decision. Now it's all up to me to make the right choices. I have to be the one to say, "I don't want to go out tonight. " And when my friends persist, I can't use the excuse, my parents won't let me, which makes it even more difficult! I know college will present me with as many challenges to overcome as well as fun memories that I will cherish forever. I am excited about my next four years here and am quite sure that with my determination and hard work, I will succeed not only at The University of Texas, but in life as well!
Mom shpuldn't worry about me not being htere to answer the phone-I just missed her is the funny part. I wonder if dad misses me as much as Crystal dad does her. Care bear watch. That was interesting activity in theatre class-I loved that girl's folder from Italy. I wonder if that director thinks I totally butchered Moliere. My monolague who cares. Why does Kyle like Meghan-she's sucha  tomboy-adn I'm not saying that because I think he's cute too, but because she is-but that'sn mena she's really sweet also. Sort of. I need to study for this biology class. I've got to get ahead on my reading. Psychology is so differetn from the way6 my mind works-I'm a math and science person. I think with  numbers and diagrams. Crystal wants to be a psychology major-that noise is bugging me it sounds like a cd player  being loaded and unloaded. That guy I talked to the other day is such a hottie. Floor 16 I think-I might just have to get lost up there. Got I need to read!!!Luke is so cute for writing me-why is it my ex can't say more than three words to me but his best friend can send letters and everything. Math class in a bit-my teacher is so bizarre. Really quirky- but just not all there. WHat is this complex that I have with people in a authority-I mean why just because they are over me do I find them attractive-it's so weird. I can't wait to see John Joseph next weekend. watch him be out of town or gone. That was a mistake. But, it was bound to happen. Why have I not really gotten homesick? is there something wrong with  me?Everyone I know has had some brush with  this , but I'm still fine-and, I lloove my family and there just wonderful. I need to call the Greek life board, the coppertank, and get that ink for my computer, let's see. can't call to this weekend with  the phone and trent has no wayt of hearing from me. IK wonder if a lot of people are going outb of town for labor day weekend? last year we went camping I was with  Ben then--he was a sweetie, but the breath thing got in the way. Is that shallow of me-I can't wait to see the people who were cast for this play? It's so highgly competitive. But there's sucha  rewarding feeling when you step out of that room knowing good and well that you produced something from your imagination and hard work and effort. I wonder if this is enough. HOw would they know if I stopped at 18 or 20 minutes-BUT I WON"T STOP UNTIL 20 MINUTES HAS ELASPED!!=) I'm starting to get hungry and some how I need to trek to rlm from here-I need to find the cam pus loop schedule. It's so quiet in this library I love it. This is the only place I can really study everyone is loud on our floor do they ever study or did they sign up for some course I don't know about. I'm so proud of myself I haven't gone out at all this week. Does Heath really like Sarah if he sayus he loves her that's such crap. Oh well time up, bye.
I have so many things to do and not enough time. I feel like I am taking on too much. I know I can handle it if I get past these first few weeks, but right now I feel overwhlemed. I am stressed out with all the reading I have to do. I am such a slow reader and it takes so much effort for me to concentrate and take notes. I know though that I am a good notetaker and if I take the time I should do well in my classes. I am just too tired and stressed right now. I wish I could be at home where no one would come in to bug me or try to use my things and my computer. I am so frustrated with my roommates using my computer. It is new and I am worried they will mess something up. If I make it through till next Tuesday I will be ok. This weekend will be fun though so I just need to relax for once and enjoy it. I miss my family when I get stressed out like this. I keep telling myself"If I can only make it till December. " It is not that I dislike UT. I like my schedule and my professors, but it is just so different. I know this will be one of my hardest semesters, so with God's help, I will make it through just fine. I just need to relax and enjoy it. I am so determined to make a very good GPA this semseter that I hope I am not dissapointed. The scholarship requirements are good because it gives me a reason to work for them. Actually, I think it scares me more than it helps. I want to make good grades for myself. The scholarship makes me afraid of failure. I am such aperfectionist that I hate failure. I am determined to make a good GPA within my 15 hours. I want to prove everyone wrong who tells me I should have taken 12. If I took 12 I would be in summer school forever. I know I can handle it because I did so much in high school that I am prepared forit. I also don't care if people make fun of me for studying too much. It will payoff when they do bad this semester. I think I just need a break. I am caught up in my reading, but I need a week without 10 different activities for me to do. I just have to have confidence in myself that I can do it and things will get easier as the semester goes on. I felt so good though last night when I got 2 dates. Maybe I will meet some great guy while up here. I was beginning to have my doubts. I am excited about football season beginning. It should be fun to see all the college games. I love college football. I hope we do well this year. I feel like I am running out of things to babble about. Or that all I have done it repeat myself over and over. I guess it doesn't matter as long as I write what I am feeling. All I  hope is that I get everything finished early so that I can go to sleep early tonight. I think I will be able to do that. Well, maybe tomarrow will be a better day. I can't wait till there is nothing going on that I have to go out for. I am sure next week will be better.
Im feeling a little stress coming on now, because Im think about everything  I have to do, but have yet to start it. sometimes I can't resist going out with  friends and that is really bad, because then I don't have time to study. I  don't know what else Im feeling right now. Im just sitting in front of a  computer in the pcl and typing along. even though the paper doesn't not need correct spelling and stuff, I still go back and correct it(I guess cause it's a  habit). right now Im observing people as they walk by. I really enjoy this  assignment, because it helps me to put all my thoughts and feelings on paper,  instead of holding them in ( as what I normally do)  I generally don't like to  tell people my feelings inside, I guess cause Im very paranoid and I don't  trust others with my personal secrets, even if they were really close friends  of mine. I can't wait until later(6:00p. m. when I go practice my throwing of  footballs. Im really excited about intramural football. most of the people  on my team are really nice. Im just a little scared about the real games b/c  Im afraid that the guys on the other coed Im teams will run into me and hurt  me. I was really sore this morning, after I woke up b/c of football practice  yesterday morning. football practice was pretty fun. I enjoy going through  all the drills and practices. at first I wasn't too sure about playing Im  football, but when one of my friends asked me to join her team I was like sure. our team makeup is kinda funny. we have all upperclassmen guys and mainly freshman girls. I just thought that was kinda interesting. well, Im looking  at the clock and it seems like I have five more minutes of writing time. right after I do this assignment, Im going to go study on the fourth floor. I really don't want to be left behind in my classes. I already am and that's  not a good way to start off my college years. in high school I studied  constantly and now I rarely get to study b/c there is so much stuff going on  and I usually give in to my friends when they want to go do something. I  think time really does fly by. before I know it, it's time to go to sleep again I wish I had nothing to worry about. I always wondered what my life would be like  if I was rich. it would be much more relaxing I think. well, it's already been  twenty minutes and I would write longer, but I really have got to go studying. I can't wait until I get to write paper 2, because I have a lot to say about my  college experience so far.
I used to day dream about  this time when I was younger. After I saw my brother and sister leave for college, I decided that was going to be the best part of my life. Of course, it is a lot different now that I am here. There is a lot more responsibility in reality than there is in my dreams. I don't really mind it so far. I want to be able to handle it, and I am excited about my classes. I wish that I could be an expert in every subject that I take. Psychology is very interesting to me, but not enough to be my major--I wouldn't want to do it for the rest of my life. My brother has a bachelors degree in psychology from Southwest texas, but he hasn't done much with it. I am taking this class as a social science elective; my other classes are required for my major. Right now I am an undeclared major, but after a few classes in my geology of engineering course, I am pretty sure that I want to major in geosystems engineering. It seems to incorporate a large amount of subject material that I am interested in, and it would be a job that pays pretty well. If I did well enough at UT to get into grad school, I would love to follow it up with a masters or Phd in Geology. Of all the courses I have taken in high school and college, these seem to be the best ones. Some of my favorite subjects are: geology, geography, astronomy, archaeology, and history. I would love to be an astronomer in a second if it paid well enough. My reason for this is that eventually I would like to have a large spread of land in the hill country somewhere west of Austin--near a lake--with a boat. This requires $$. I love the outdoors, and I want to live away from the city, yet close enough to it that I could drive into town to do things. This is probably a common ambition among people, but I don't really care. Enough rambling about all that. My reason for being here at UT is to learn, and to get an education, and to do well. If I do all of this I will be very pleased. It will be hard though. I love to have fun, and that can easily get in the way at UT. I haven't joined a fraternity or gone out for rush yet, even though some of my friends who are in frats here keep bugging me. I want to join some organization that has fun and kicks ass at a lot of things. Hopefully that will work out. These are the things that are on my mind at the moment; at least until I move on to the next thing.
In the eighteen years of my life I've realized that man is either born without a conscience or with one. I was born with one. In my heart I bleed at the injustices of the world, of the rights taken from humans because they had not the power. What is more distressing comes not from the fact that the injustice is so evident but because of the powerlessness of the victim. I believe that education can free a man. An educated society becomes more aware. It can offer self-esteem, knowledge, influence, and the voice to speak out. It has become my belief that I or anyone else who is willing can make a difference. The conscience in me longs to make a difference. To scream at the top of my lungs, "This is wrong! You are wrong! Give back his rights! Give back what does not belong to you!" but I know in the bottom of my heart that humans, no matter how hard they may try will never rid the earth of its total harshness, because some men were born with feeling and some without. This gives no excuse for not trying to make a change for the better because with every change, an initiation must begin. Though my eyes see the sorrow of the world, I am a person who strives to look for the positive in people. My first encounter with an individual has me searching and finding his good qualities. More likely I am opt to say something good about a person rather than bad. Within me I feel no intimidation toward others strengths and I take pleasure in finding and praising someone else's gifts. Determination is the driving force of my soul. Being perceptive of other's nature has allowed me to see that it takes more than intelligence to reach a goal. I know only if I want it can be done and within my veins is a spirit that keeps me aiming to reach the top. It seems forever that I have expected highly of myself. With every aspect of my life I feel a certain pull to be the best I can be. Rarely do I accept being less. My love of knowledge and natural curiosity arrives from my need to grasp my world to better understand it. I cannot accept just reading new knowledge. It is utterly important for me to comprehend it as well. This allows me to know the unknown, to conquer all the earth's secrets for I do not like being put in the dark. I must see all things with my eyes, my heart, and my brain. This gives me confidence and strength. Hopefully, I will conquer all my fears, build my character, and use it to make a difference in the world.
Alright, well right now I have no idea what to write. I don't know what my professor is expecting this to say and I do not know what all of the other students are writing about. I don't really want to get too personal just in case I get to be the lucky one who's homework is spotchecked. I am worrying that school is not being focused on as much as it should be. I sometimes think that I am going to be able to get by as easily as I did in high school when at the same time I know that that is not the case at all. I know that I am going to have to study so much more than I ever have and it freaks me out. Especially since I am not so sure that I know exactly how to study. I don't want to go into an exam thinking that I know all the information and then have no clue what the test is saying to me. I want to do so well this semester and in a way I have to if I want to transfer into the school of communications next semester. And the fact that I heard the other day that Professor Pennebaker is the hardest psychology teacher here did not help much. I didn't think he seemed that hard but apparently he is. And I also am freaking out about the whole sorority thing. I am having so much fun with it but it is taking up a lot of my time and so are all of the parties that go with it. I have to decide whether or not I want to go home on Saturday for the night. I want to see my parents and my friends but I don't know if it is worth it. And also I don't want to get really sad when I am there. I am worried that I am not going to really want to come back. That is not saying that I am not having such a fun time here but I think that me not wanting to come back after a night at home is a possibility. I am having so much fun here but it is a lot of stuff to deal with sometimes. And it is like I am never capable of being alone. And when I am alone, its when I don't really want to be alone. There are always things going on and people around when I just want to relax and sit down. But that is never possible. And there is so much to do all the time that studying is so hard to fit into my schedule. But I do have to admit that I am studying because I know I am more than some of my friends. Friends is another thing that kind of scares me. I hope that my best friends from home and I don't lose touch just because there are so many new faces here and everyone is wanting to meet new people. I just kind of wish that I knew who my group of friends is going to be so that I can start hanging out with them and making memories that are going to count. Okay, well I hope that this is what you expected from my 20 minutes of writing because I had no idea what else to write. Now maybe you can look at the way my brain works and help me deal with my problems.