ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
Is Christina still on the phone? At 9:00 I can finish this and go to the grocery store. It's on. I wish I could have napster on Ethernet. I am really hungry. I wish I could have worked out more today. I should write what I'm talking about. I wish I could type with the right fingers. Why didn't I learn to do that? It was an important step I missed. I think the grocery store is on red river. I wish the door were shut. I wish somebody had emailed me today. Hopefully zac can help me with calculus. I can't remember anything. The teacher didn't even go over it with us. I'm really nervous about the quiz. Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes. Wow this really sucks. I have so much to do. It seems like I do nothing during the day. Maybe I should have stayed at the dance thing. Now I'm getting in the flow of typing. This split keyboard sucks for pecking. I wish I knew what to do about track. The phone is ringing. I miss my sister. I am glad I went to the grocery store last night. I hope dad doesn't get mad about the money I'm spending. I can kind of hear Saturday night live. I don't know how Christina concentrates in front of the TV. I had an itch in my nose. I can't wait until after my quiz. The hamburgers will be good at the KA house. I hope I have time to work out today. I think I will never be the size I want to be. Why do I have a rash on my ass? Its good I took a shower last night. I like my tri delt shirt. It seems like the time is passing very slowly. Only seven more minutes. Should I take a nap after this or study math or eat lunch? Ill ask Christina. Maybe she'll eat with me. I like the cafeteria food. I wish everybody treated the help better. Word perfect sucks. I hate the little green and red squigglies. There are worse things I could do. Somebody's knocking at the door. It's probably Elaine. No it's Bita. Is she talking to Greg? Is Christina going to be hungry? Man I hate those squiggly lines! I wonder if I should call the ticket office. I wonder if I'll need to study hard for this class. So far I've only done the pretesting and the writing. It's not even sunny still! That's awesome. I hate the heat. I can't wait until its fall. I love wearing jeans and sweat pants. I can run outside. Maybe then I'll get skinny. Mariah Carrey has a good voice? Where is she? Jessica Simpson sucks. She's ugly too. Her boyfriend is gay. Their relationship seems fake. My relationship is good. Jorde is great. I'm glad he's doing a frat. I hope they don't be hard on him. That is so gay that they do that to guys. I don't get it. Only two more minutes. It doesn't seem like I've written all that much. How are they going to know anyway? I doubt they'll even read that much of it. Bita talks a lot. She always has. That reminds me of Miss A. She never calls me. Why do I have to call everyone? Nobody ever calls me. Juliana emails a lot. I should e mail everyone. I'm much too busy for that. I need to call Dad. I want him to call me right now. At least that guy fixed the Internet. I need to learn to type. Okay I think I can stop now. I still feel like I should write more. Am I a perfectionist? I wonder if we'll learn that in psychology.
Well another night of staying up late. I don't know why I don't really want to go to bed. I guess I just don't feel like it or I feel like I have to do something before I go to bed, but then something else pops up. I think I got used to not sleeping during my time in the Army. Kind of fun back then. The Army usually pops in my head late at night when I'm on the computer because that's what I did in the Army. I can tune everything out and just have the humming of the computer and only the light from the screen providing light for the room. Reminds me of sitting in the track at 3 or 4am shooting missions. I wonder where I would be if I would have stayed in. I bet I would have gone to Korea for a year then back to Fort Sill. I wish I would have gone to Korea as soon as I got out of AIT. Those guys came back better trained than the guys who stayed in the States. I probably could have used that year being away from everybody. I hope it doesn't rain tomorrow. Man I hate the rain. I remember in Virginia I missed all the rainy days at school. I guess I got lucky it only seemed to rain on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I miss Virginia. The leaves, the snow, the mountains and the lake right behind the apartment. Man, everyday there was football weather. I can't believe they lost to BYU last week. Man I hate BYU.
I just took that Pre-testing thing for psychology and it made me think a lot about how I view myself. It kind of put me in a bad mood because I realized how much I look down on myself. It was interesting to learn that much about myself just by taking a test. I don't know if that was one point of the test but it made me think a lot. I realized how scared I was at one point about how I am scared to speak up for myself. I wish I could but I am very worried that I will make a wrong point. Even right now I am scared to write the wrong thing even though there is no right or wrong thing to write. I love this classical music. For some reason it make me more at ease, I can never work without some kind of distraction or something else for my mind to think about. I wish I could talk to people that I don't know easier. I was so scared to walk into my class late today. I didn't know if my TA was going to get mad but she saw me and so I had to go in anyways. When I walk around this campus I feel like so small and worthless compared to everyone. I got lost this morning and I was to scared to ask for directions because I don't trust they will give me the right way. I know it makes no sense whatsoever. It is wierd how different music puts a person in different moods. First, I was listening to classical and I felt peaceful and then alternative came on and it made me feel more awake and then jazz came on and it was soothing. I think listening to a variety of music helps a person be in a mood that they feel like being in. I don't know if it is the music that puts the person in a mood or if it is the mood that picks the music that makes them pick the music they feel like listening too. My classes seem to be discussing sort of the same topic which seems to help in understanding each one more. I never realized my mind jumps from one thing to another so much. It is like before I finish one thought I already begin another. It is hard to concentrate when my roommate is on the phone with her mother right now because I am hearing like four things at once. I am not used to having to share my space and have someone around all the time. I guess I am just going to have to get used to it. I am very jittery right now and I don't know why. I think I need to learn how to relax because I am already getting stressed out and I don't think that is a good thing. It is wierd I start to look at the clock and it makes me start typing more even though I am not thinking more it makes me just start typing more since I know my time is almost up.
Twenty minutes. Write until about 10:30. I wish the colors in the PCL were not so ugly. I like these shoes but I wish my socks were shorter though. I need to get a bed in my apartment. The floor is real itchy. I don't know where to put it though. I like the desk where it is and I don't want to put the bed there but if IO put it in the corner it will block the door to the closet. Even though there is another doo I still need both of them because it woiuld make things so much easier. I wonder what we'll do in basketball today. Tonya is giving me some keys but I don't know what they go to. Fifteen minutes left. Its fuuny how much you write and how fast time goes by when you don't have anything real to write about. I wish they'd let me watch how practice works for a few days and then I can start helping. I hope I don't mess up to much on the court especially since Kathy was so adament about me being out there because I played in high school. Only ten more minutes. Wow. I need to get a shower curtian. I'm tired of having to be real careful when I take a shower and not splash water everywhere. I wonder how much I will get paid a month. I hope its good. my hand is getting tired from writing so much and not stopping. I think I'll catch the bus up to my apartment, get thtat web address come to the SMF, type this, go back to the PCL, study kinese, and go meet Tonya. Maybe I'll eat some lunch at the apartment to. Halfway done. I wonder what bus takes me to Belmont. It would be easier than walking. i bett4er learn the ropes cause next year I'll be in charge. i wish I couldbe on the boys team but not with so many other managers. There will be somne pretty tough spots, me bieng a guy and them bieng girls. sports bras?  Bout 5 minutes left. I think me and coach conradt will get along p[retty good. I the organiozed, on top of it, one step ahead of you, I already did it sort of guy. At least I was in high school. I wonder if we'll get individual pics taken. I'd like to send one to Coach Boynton. i bet he'd put it up on the wall next to adrian and pat. That would be very cool. I feel sorry for Lee with his shopulder and all. I wonder if he'll play in college. He was on of the best players I've everseen come thru elgin but I havent been around that liong. I like this school. you can lay down opn the grass and take a nap and noone will mwess with you. theres too amy people here to bother any one, too many different lifestyles. 20 minutes? On the dot. Time to go.
For some reason today I feel more home sick than I have yet. When I first arrived to my dorm room three weeks ago, it didn't feel very real to me. Of course I cried when my parents left, but it wasn't because I was feeling all the things that I thought I would. At the time I think it was more knowing that I would soon feel that way once the excitement wore off. Now, dorm life is very real and I no longer feel like I am at summer camp. The first two weeks were nothing but meeting new people and going new places and now I feel the overwhelming feeling of college work and homesickness. It is rather silly I guess for me to say "homesick" because I am only thirty miles away from home, but I have discovered that it doesn't really matter what your distance from home is. Distance would make it harder, but for all of us it is the fact that we are no longer living with our families; we will never be living under our parents permanently. In a way I guess I am supposed to be really excited about that and I think I am, but I also really miss being a bigger part of their lives. So much happens on a daily basis and I feel like I am missing something. I also wonder if it is really weird for me to feel this way. So many of the other students seem to be having the time of their lives, but I wonder if they have ever felt the same way. I went to eat with my mom and sisters last night because my older sister was in town from College Station. After we ate I couldn't fight the tears that were welling up in my eyes. I miss old times like that and I miss the way we could just laugh together and have fun. I know that soon I will be adjusted to my new life and I can look back on this and think what a dork I was. It is just that time of adjustment and waiting until this place feels like home. I want so badly for it to feel like home and I want to be happy here. I really have no doubt that it soon will be a place where I feel comfortable, I just hope that soon comes really soon! My mom keeps sending emails telling me to have fun. It isn't that easy to just make friends and go have fun. I never thought that it would be so hard to meet people, but with such a huge population it can't be easy. I think that I am probably complaining too much because I really am not unhappy by any means but I just expected something different. High expectations are dangerous because nothing can ever be as good as you dream it to be. Oh well, hook 'em horns!
I really think the professor is funny and can hold the class' attention.    I am listening to a Dave Matthew's CD. I was never really a big fan of his until recently. My roommate and best friend ( she is also taking this class) loves Dave Matthews. She asked me to go to his concert with her months in advance. I had heard a few of his songs, and even though I wasn't crazy about them, I agreed to go. It was two weeks before the concert and a really good friend of ours was moving to Houston to go to graduate school. Dave M. was going to be in Houston on Friday and Austin on Saturday. So Robyn ( my roommate) decided to sell her tickets and we would help Justin move and see the concert in Houston. On our way to Houston the U-Haul had a blow out and a few other tragadies occured, forcing us to miss the concert. Robyn was devastaed. So Saturday we headed back to Austin and bought tickets to go. After several beers we were there. Somehow I got seperated from my friends. When we found each other I cried, I think it was from the alchol. Anyways, we happened to be at the right place at the right time and a guy came up to us and brought us armbands to go to the front of the stage. I pushed my was to the very front and managed to convince a bodygaurd to give me a backstage pass. At the end of the show they took me backstage, gave me flowers and then showed me to Dave. I was the only one that wasn't freaking out backstage, so he came up to me. We talked and he signed my ticket (the only thing I had on me). He left but came uback up to me five min later. I was talking to somebody and I saw soomeone come up besaide me. Then I felt a hand on my breast (the right one). It was Dave, signing my chest. I thought I would faint. His voice is so sexy. Later right before he left, he came up to me and kissed me. I love him and will marry him one day.    Sorry I wasted ten min blabbing about the same story. I guess the point of the entry to to see how many ways my brain goes. I just thought of something else. I have a crush on a waiter that I work with. I'm a hostess. I haven't had a crucsh like this in a long time. I'm so mad because he didn't work today or yesterday and he won't work until Friday. I don't even know anything about him. That's probably why I like him. The last guy I dated was gay. He won't admit it but I know he is. We're not seeing each other anymore. I usually don't talk about guys this much, but for some reason they are on the brain tonight. I just set up my email account today. I'm soo excited. My parents have been bugging me to get one. I'm using a friends computer right now, but we will have the internet set up by Friday.  I really hope no one reads this horrible shit. I know it doesn't make any sense and no one cares about any of it. I have to go read 19 chapters for English now. Aren't you jealous??!!
ever since the first day of school on august 26 I have felt so much fear. it has never hit me so hard as right now typing on a computer  not knowing one person around me yet some of them being my classmates. my thoughts of u t are hard to explain. some days are bad some good, it just depends on the day and class. I grew up in a small town went to the same school district my whole life and graduated with 89 people in my class. my psychology class has close to300. its very overwhelming . I have made a few new friends but I still feel very alone. I live with my boyfriend off campus and its hard. I just feel very alone. my parents seem to have forgotten about me, but the already had by the time my senior year had come. my brother goes to tarleton in stephenville near ft worth. my best friend goes to Texas a m in college station. i'm taking 13hrs and my favorite class is swimming. I'm really bored and I want to go shopping after I get done with this writing assignment,. english is my last class today and it ended early at 1030. I'm really bored and only 10 minutes have gone by I'm tired of writing. I hate seeing all the little rich girls with their fancy clothes walking around campus. it pisses me off because I screwed up and moved into a apartment. early this morning I was in the lab signing in to use a mac. the computer told me to go to b5 so I did and when I got to the computer there was stuff on it but the computer screen had my number on it so I know to use it . but the bitch comes up and starts freaking out about it was her computer. people piss me off because my parents taught me respect and politeness and everyone at ut seems to thing that they need to be rude I just don't get it I'm thinking of transferring to Texas a m because I went down there to help move my best friend into her apartment and I had the best time I've ever had. we went to a bar and I drank at the bar and I'm only 18 so we had fun you could never get away with that down here in austin. its almost time for me to stop then I'm going shopping with the little money I have. I can't wait to get off campers because boyfriends name is jimmy and he is going to go to acc in the spring to get a degree in electrical technicians he already is one but he want a degree to  get more money. it almost time to stop its almost time to stop its almost time to stop then go home it's labor day weekend and I'm so glad because were having a party at the lake house and taking the boat out to go skiing,. can't wait. well its time to stop so I'll
I am eating a Hershey's bar with almonds. I told myself that I would only eat one little square of it, but as I can see, that didn't happen. You would think that eating chocolate would spoil my appetite, but actually it's making me more hungry. For more sweets. That's interesting.      As I'm typing, those little notices that people are signing on AOL instant messenger keep popping up, and for some reason the cursor on my laptop keeps moving over the words I've already typed, so I have to keep going back and deleting and starting over. Annoying.    Over the Labor Day weekend, which happened to include my birthday, by the way. On that note, I used to not like having a birthday so near a quote "holiday" because all of my school friends would have some vacation of some sort planned, and I wouldn't be able to get together with all of them. Now that I've entered COLLEGE (smile), I've grown - in two short weeks - to love having a long weekend for my birthday. To spend with special people (bigger smile). Anyways, this weekend (my computer did that thing again) I celebrated my 18th birthday with my family and my BEST friend.     My mom used to attend UT Austin, in fact, both of my parents did. Unfortunately, due to health complications she was forced to transfer to another college back home. Anyways, she is a registered nurse, although she took maternity leave long ago, and at the moment she's decided not to go back to work until my little brother gets into his middle-elementary years.    My dad is a self-employed architect. He used to work for a large corporation in Dallas, but hardly had time to have a life. A life away from work, that is. My mom likes to say that when I was a baby, she would have to show me a picture - AHHHH! my best friend just called! - she'd say that she would have to show me a picture of my dad and say: "Look, there's your Daddy. "  Now my brother has the luxury of him coaching his fall baseball teams, and attending soccer practices, and taxi-ing him to karate class and piano lessons.    My little brother, Matthew, was born when I was nearing 10 years old. Currently he is seven years old, in second grade. He came as a HUGE surprise, being as how physicians had told my mom that she was infertile. But obviously, as my case proved, they were wrong. He is very active, and shows so much love that I don't know how such a little body can produce it. Right now he's almost infatuated with copying my best friend, Patrick.    Speaking of Patrick, I met him in high school. We both attended Health Careers High School, a magnet school in San Antonio. By chance, we've had a few classes together over the years, and, by chance, we only just met each other at the end of senior year. That was largely due to our parent's cooperative involvement in putting together Project Graduation for our senior class, to be held the night of graduation. Actually, we've been aware of each others presence for awhile now, being as how our school is relatively small in size, housing around 1000 students total; around 204 in my class. I didn't get to what I was saying, but I guess I'll leave the juicy stuff for next time.
9/8/97 Yeah, I've finally gotten around to doing this assignment. I hope I do o. k. Oh whoops, I forgot to check my watch to see when I need to stop. O. k. it's 1:50 so I will stop at 2:10. I just double spaced at the end of that period. I remember learning how to do that in my 8th grade computer class. Oh gosh, what if this is too short?  I'm a really slow typer, but this is really fun. The girl next to me is typing so fast, maybe I will be that good by the end of this year. There is a boy now walking around with a blank expression on his face. I wonder where he is going. After this I am going to my room and working on some homework. I like how the keys on this computer feel when I type. I miss my computer at my house, but anyway. This is fun, because I'm so used to typing in an organized fashion where everything is structured. I mean this assignment is structured, but our writing doesn't have to be. My left eye itches, but I'm afraid you touch it because I don't want to waste any time on my assignment. My watch just beeped which means that it is now 2:00, and I have ten minutes left. Wow, a loud buzzer just went off, maybe someone messed up a computer or something. Someone just rattled his change which reminds me that I have only a little bit of money left for the week. I hope I'm writing enough. This is as fast as I can go. I wonder if you really read these or just skim through them. It said this was a completion grade, good. I'll work on the other assignment tomorrow afternoon. the line now for waiting has gotten really long. Thank goodness it is air-conditioned in here. My left eye still hurts and is making me blink. I wonder what the others in here are working on?  I wonder what my parents are doing right now?  They are probably both already at home. I hope they find a place to stay for parents weekend. Gosh, that sounds so freshman. I only have 5 more minutes left. There is no way the teacher reads all of these. The t. a. must help. I like Scott. I went to one of his study sessions. My nails are long and I wanted to get a manicure. I wonder how many in the class have finished this assignment?  Typing is very therapeutic, I feel a lot more relaxed now. I hope I've typed enough. The girl next to me is leaving. I have 2 minutes left. I just checked my watch. I'm kind of sleepy. I think I will go to bed early tonight. Yeah, tonight David Letterman is on. He's my favorite. Oh, my time is up. I'll be back tomorrow to work on the next homework!!!