Well I'm sitting here wondering why I have to do this assignment. Should I type     correctly, capitalizing words. I don't normally when I chat on I'M or email someone. I really wonder if I'm ever going to get that song I'm practicing on the guitar. It's so     hard to hear the parts because there are so many other instruments, namely the     piano which is really getting in the way. Maybe I should try something simpler. but I get so bored with the simple stuff. I wonder if I can eventually get a Jason     Mraz song or get to the point where I can just play something cool and everyone     recognizes it. Will I ever lead worship at a church? Who knows. I don't really think     that's my thing. there are so many cool people that do that already. In fact, I loved     Friday night worship at the Sanchez Building. I really want to go back. I don't know     if Hope in the City is the church that the Lord wants me at, but I really like it. I love     how everyone is so friendly and genuine -- the worship is passionate, and I love     that. I walk in and go, this is how Christians SHOULD be. " not like the majority of     churches you walk into and see all the little cliques of friends, most of which are     too comfortable and exclusive to open up to a new type of person or just a person     in general. however, I know that there are some really cool places in Austin that I     want to try: The Austin Stone, Hyde Park Baptist. who knows. Oh, EV Free. Oh, I     saw court rode today. Man I love that girl. I hate that it's sometimes a struggle to     talk to her though. It's cool if we talk about the general stuff, but not normal enough     to just say whatever or something stupid because we haven't spent much time together. I mean, she is really cool, but she is a senior and has her own stuff, and I doubt that     she would ever just want to hang out with me. However, I should give myself some     credit -- I mean, she has called me and invited me to places (church, a cook-out. ),     so maybe she is interested in introducing me to some cool people. Cool people --     I'm finding some but still missing Steph and Allison back home. Man I love them,     too. They're great. I miss being so comfortable with someone that you can just do     or say whatever's on your mind. or if nothing, you don't have to say anything, and     it's totally fine. I wonder how they're doing. I wonder how Allison is doing in the     dorm, meeting new people, finding new good friends, like Amanda. I'm really     excited that Allison is branching out and exploring A&M, but I'm not ready for loss     of contact completely, and I don't think she is either. I think she wants to (as do I     and as does Stephanie) "make new friends but keep the old; one is silver and the     other gold. " I can deal with being silver, or bronze even, but I would like to keep a     place in her life. And man, I really want Stephanie and I to stay the good friends     that we've become this summer. after Leslie's death. I love how she always     understood and felt the same way I felt. We agreed that we never knew what Al     was thinking but that we wanted to. Leslie -- man I miss her so much. Silver Taps     at A&M is tonight, and I really want to drive back. I know I would miss Spanish in     the morning, but I just want to see my friends and talk about her and remember     her. I feel like things would be so different if she were still here: Stephanie and I     would never have become as good of friends as we have because they would still be     hanging out all the time. They would still support and love me completely, of     course, but I think I would be more like Allison -- really branching out and finding     new people. Plus, Stephanie would have someone to chill with in College Station. Sarah is cool and all, but she has her own issues, and I really would like someone     there to keep Stephanie accountable, to pay her the attention that she needs. because we all do! I would really like to find someone like me, but not too much,     and without a boyfriend (because the only cool girls I've found so far have boys. long-term boys, I think). I really want someone (a girl) that I can just play around     with -- be stupid and say stupid things, but also have fun and be silly. I want to be     able to plop down on her bed and either cry or laugh incredibly loud. Amazing, I     actually already have that. Do I need/want new friends other than camp friends     like Megan and Meredith. They love me so much and support me like crazy. They     like it when I'm around and like to spend time with me and hear about things with     me. especially Meredith. Megan has got lots of other stuff that's she is doing --     which is cool -- but she just doesn't really have all the time for me. which I guess     sounds kinda selfish now that I've typed it out. But Meredith -- truly loving and     sincere and like a big sister. Just seeing her around campus encourages me and     makes me feel at ease. Not that I'm so uncomfortable here. I am SO GLAD that I     left College Station and A&M to come to Austin and UT. What a blessing! this     place is amazing and fun and new and exciting but also is quickly becoming a     home. I find myself either almost getting lost or just finding new places or     directions or whatever to go around town, and I love it. I love being able to know     what street takes me somewhere else, or where my friends' houses are or where     to go shop or. whatever else. Friends' houses. the boys -- haven't talked to them,     want to see them. The girls -- looooved going over to their house the other night. I     got to chill with Meg and tell her about school and life and etc while she shared     the same. Liz and I also got to talk about Spirits and applications and all that jazz. Oh and I made it to the second round of the Texas Spirits app! Exciting. I can't     decide what I think about it though. I know who I am, and I just want to be myself,     but from what I hear and have seen, it might be like a sorority. Blah. I just don't     want to conform -- I want to be a part of something cool and unique but without     being stereotyped as something. I don't know. cookie-cutter, I guess. I hate that. I     want people to like me for who I am. stupid and crazy and silly and fun and smart     and perfectionist that likes crazy things and crazy music. crazy music -- ACL! And     Russ is coming into town, and I just don't know what I think about that. Do I like     him? Does he like me? I have no idea. I don't think I'd ever date him. he is     younger and in Colle Sta and whatnot. But he is pretty great. I just have no idea. Ok well honestly I can't stop looking at the timer and how I have thirty seconds left. So I hope that I wasn't graded on capitalization or anything because I'm sure that I     messed up all over, but hey it's all good -- all we had to do was write this thing. I'm     confident. I'm happy. Class is cool. Don't want to take the tests