This blank screen is staring at me and my fingers are moving in my peripheral vision and this screen is so retarded. I wonder why I put 3 dots at the end of that sentence and who made that up anyway. my shoulders are getting sore-I probably shouldn't type with my arms straight out like this. I wonder if that helps combat carpal tunnel syndrome-ok, Im going to scoot up. I can't believe its Sat at 700 PM and I'm writing this. I'm such a nerd. actually I'm not. ,. I'm cool--but that's all relative I guess. Im really into drinking my coffee and Im staring at my green porcelain coffee cup with its drip coffee stains already on the side from where my lips have been. steam is rising out of the top and I really want to pick it up and have a sip of it but then this writing isn't continuous is it?  Jewel is playing in the background volume 5 and she's kind of distracting. here comes foolish games. I can totally relate. I wonder if Scott is thinking about me right now--I hope he's not the T. A for this class. This is so incredibly weird. I think I like him but Im not sure. he reminds me of Scott wolf and I can't stand him is that a bad sign?   I like Richard's accent too. wow English accents are really cute. Like in London. all of the guys were so amazing. especially that one in the subway that looked like Gavin Rossdale but he was speaking Italian so I doubt it was him. I wonder How Liz is doing?  And Michelle?  Why isn't Ken calling me?  I hate it when guys ask for your number and then never ever call you back. or else they wait a really long time to do it. Kind of like max. I wonder how he's doing I wonder about his dumb model sister in Paris. whatever. I love Jewel. I want to play piano right now even though I haven't played in six years. my gosh it's 7 :20 already and this is pretty fun. I should probably get a diary and do this in it but then what if someone reads it and thinks I'm a rambling idiot?  I have an ache in my heart about the council. I wonder why my name isn't on the list?  I swear, my application was the best one out of all of them. They are so retarded. Maybe it was too sweet and idealistic. maybe they think I'm full of crap and Making it up. but I really think that way. Maybe it's cause I was listening to Jewel at the time,. I wonder when my roommates are getting home  they are so active. of course they didn't have to get up at 700am this morning for crew tryouts. Ok, I probably didn't make it cause those chicks are total hosses. I have a lot of respect for those girls on the team. I wonder if St4eve will get back to me on being the coxin. I have no idea how to spell that word. my tongue is dry and why did I staple Scotts number to an orange sticky note so it's staring right back at me?  He writes like such a guy. My walls are so bare. and the st4reaks of light from the blinds are coming in golden. I wish I could write songs like Jewel. I want to play the guitar well too. I miss my Dad. he's staring back at me from my wall and he looks kinda sideways and I wonder why I returned that dress. this screen is so confusing I lose my place my toe hurts and I feel full. My wrap was gross though. I can't believe they didn't take my CDs--theyre so retarded. My tailbone hurts and I hope I'm not sore tomorrow Steve was a bit extreme. I keep hitting the wrong keys I really need to get to the container store and get some hangers but I know I need to do my homework. I hate calculus homework. Im dreading it. I wonder why Im so down and pessimistic today?  I'm usually not. Oh--gosh, I've got so much stuff to do and organize and my thirty minutes is about done. I wonder if I typed more than other people did and I wonder if a TA. actually reads all this crap and how he grades it?  weird. Maybe I should play my guitar.