Stream on consciousness, this is something I have done before, when I was writing my diary, I though it'd be a cool idea, I wrote down a lot of stuff, some having to do with music, some having to do with my boyfriend. He's a good guy, I miss him sometimes, well I do but I don't- it's not really an active missing, it's a passive missing, like I know I do somehwhere in my heart, but it doesn't hurt or anything I wonder what that could mean? everyone always asks me how long we'll last, and even though I'm not sure, I guess well last a long time, I mean its already been a year, which really doesn't seems so long anymore, only a few weeks maybe, until I really think about it. then its much longer. even though it all doesn't add up at first- it makes sense somhow. you know? it all makes sense when you look back at it all. I tend to think in really long streams and then my mind pauses, as if to switch subjects, not really to- well actually sometimes, to reflect on it- but I always inevitably move on, I wonder if that's what veryone's like. if they all reflect on their thoughts like I do, then move on. or if they thing continuosly only shifting smoothly from one thought to the next. there has to be someone like that, somewhere. maybe in china or some other country, but some where. I refuse to think that people all think the same, not only because people are inherently different but because even if 99% of us wer the same, there would have to be at least one person who's not. That's just the way I think. Ellipses are fun, they provide space, and soetimes a depth that no other literary device can reach. I'm not sure if depth is the right word of if tis truly a literary device, but ellipses are (thoughts search for word) something that people use. Woah, a mental stumble in words, I wonder how oftne I do that? I don't think I realize when taht happens, that reminds me of foreign languages- I like foreign languages. rightnow I'm taking dutch- but spanish is the one I'm most versed in. I think in spanish sometimes, its kind of fun, and I have always found it interesting that someone could actually think in another language then they'er own. I used to think when I was a little kid that that would be impossible- then I though itd be incredible, now that I can do taht it just seems like fun, I like it, it feels. Comforting somehow. I'm not sure why. it must be because my goal is to be fluent in as many languages as possible- though I'll probably do only four or five- someone in my class has a father that knows seven. I find hat amazing, it's simply amazing what the mind is capable of. Medicine is fascinationg to me, not just the cure type, but the physiological aspect of the human boday, and the relation so the psychological part of the human body, has always fascinated me, even when I was younger. I suppose I've always had a fascination with biology and the like and that is what has led me to this point in my life. its like my whole life up to this point has guided me to this exact path, and in a way, to this exact moment in time. perhaps only to point me in another direction. (looks up at light) not all the lights in this library are lit, I wonder why. maybe its because it would be too bright, or maybe because the sun is still out, or maybe some of them burnt out. I wonder if there's a pattern. (searches for pattern) no, there doesn't appear to be a pattern. not lit. lit lit lit lit lit lit not lit not lit lit all the way down the row, lit lit lit lit partially lit not lit lit lit lit lit all the way down the row (lost her place) ah well. worth a shot. I search for patterns in things a lot- very scientific like. that one police officer told me I sounded like a doctor. he asked me what I was going to ut to be and I said I was going to major in biology and become a doctor and he said "You sound like a doctor, in the way you tlak" I though that was kind of weird at first, but very logical. I am analytical by nature and tend to use larger words than many people, though they are not always right in my head- when I say them they come out right, and not only that but I love biology, and finding out what makes us tick, and wen I'm in an argument I try to see all the sides- and to see what's underneath it all. for instance I try to see what the ohr person is saying and why. what makes them say that. why they say it the way they do- I'm going to like this class- I like psychology. psych= mind. ology= the study of. I was in medical terminology. actually the class was called health science tech, but the main part was about medical terminology and working in the clinical setting, I worked at the hospital but instead of money I got grades, particiapation grades reall. it was fun, even the parts most would consider gross. I enjoyed it- but I don't think I want to be one of thos doctors tthat work in the hospital. I think my typingg is louder than everyone else in this library, the keys aren't the easiest to push. they stick a little, on some letters more than others. they're like keyboard keys that get stuck because you were careless and spilled soda on them, but a little looser. they're not quite tahat stick at all. but still they seem so loud. The guy outside in orange is drinking coffee- I like orange soda. its my favorite color and soda, good stuff. I wonder how much time people spend observing things outside their little bubble. if people had a bubble of consciousnes, it would be their immediate surroundings. just basically what they can touch, or what they can comfortably read. I wonder how many people ake time to see beyond that and what they're like. what type f people they are, if people really do have type. basically, what they're like inside. ar they analytical, whimsical, forward thinking? are they lacadaisical? what are they like? am I really one of them? I kind of think I might be or maybe one that is in between that and the other. maybe I'm right in the middle of two extremes like fire and ice, heaven and hell, earth and water.