ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
I just came back home to Austin from Houston this morning. It was not a bad drive today. I am now at home relaxing for the remainder of the day. I really kind of miss home but I guess I will get used to living on my own after a little while. I miss my parents and girlfriend. It is hard to leave the people you care about the most knowing you won't see them for a period of time. Hopefully though I will start to meet many new people here at the University of Texas. I really like Austin, now I just need to explore it. I know a few people up here and they have helped make it a lot easier to be here. I hope school is not too terribly hard. I know I must study and do all of my assignments and make sure I do not fall behind. I think reading and attending class are two of the most important elements of college. I am somewhat scared though at the fact that three tests comprise your semester grade. If you do bad on an exam, you will really have to work hard to pull yourself back up. I just don't know?  I need to get into the routine of college before I can give a valid evaluation of what college really is to me. I hope I do well. Enough with school. I am so excited to be living on my own. I have new responsibilities as well as many new freedoms. There is nobody here to tell me when to come home or what to do. I am the superior. With this new freedom though I know I must watch and take care of myself. No one is here to pick up after me and no one is here to watch over me which is kind of frightening. It creates a sense of happiness, but at the same time a sense of fear also.
I kind of don't know what to write. I am sitting here next to a guy who knows just everything about computer. I feel like I am stupid cause my typing speed and I didn't even know how to get on UT web page. Oh well, I will learn how to do that later. that is why I am here. I really like computer, I learned a lot about it in past two months. I really hope I still have AOL, so I can talk to some of my friends up there. I wrote like thousands of e-mails. But my e-mail box was empty. I can't believe it. Did all those friends of mine forget about me!!!!! Oh well! they are not really friends. I don't even know what they look like. I don't really care, but I like e-mails. I like getting attentions. =) I really miss my boyfriend. he is in Houston, and I am going back tomorrow. Coming to college can be so much trouble. I hate facing problems on my own. I need someone like watch my back or something. I need my boyfriend's support. He can be so sweet sometime. he makes me forget all the problems. I always call him when I am in stress. taking to him makes me feel comfortable. Man! my phone bill is going to scare me. but I can't help to call him. he means a lot to me. he is black. My parents don't really know about him. I wonder what will happen if I tell them. Like all other Chinese parents, they probably kill me or something. I wish my parents understand, but I don't expect too much. I know how it is like. they don't really know much about other race. They didn't even like my exboyfriend, because he is half Vietnamese half white. I been typing for a long time, but there is like so little on the screen, oh well I am going to type a little longer. I wonder how does the instructor know how long did I write. is there is clock in this program or something. it like counts the how long I been writing. I am like so surprised myself, I am writing a home work on the day I got it. and the due day is like a month away or something. I need to study more in college. I wonder if I can. I am afraid to promise myself, cause I might not do it. oh well , let's see how things go. My life is so hard. I wish I can write like everyone else. I wish English was my first language. no I don't, I am happy I can speak two language, but it was so painful when I didn't know how to speak English. it will always be a scar for me, mentally I mean. I always talk about how hard it was. I don't know if people like to hear it. Man, this page is wide. Is there a way I can make it narrow. I been writing for so long. this thing is such a pain. but I know it is good for me. I can improve my writing or something, but it is for psychology class. Anyway, it is cool. ok, I been writing for a while, I think it is enough. I am gonna stop. okay bye, until next time. =)   gone sleeping =P
I don't know if anyone will read this or not. Right now I have a huge headache from that survey. Some of those questions are ridiculous. I am not sure how many people are scared of sleeping dogs. Anyway, the "gay" questions really made me think. All of my friends tell me that it is a sin because the Bible says it is. So I think I answered that question how they would of and not me. But I do feel that a gay couple should NOT be able to adopt a child. What kind of life is that? The child would endure unnecessary criticism. My boyfriend lives in Oklahoma. I miss him so much. It is hard to watch everyone else be happy together. My suitemate is constantly with her guy. Basically I am jealous. I don't know why. I never considered myself a jealous person. Sitting here talking about relationships, makes me want to call him. My phone bill this month is going to be out of control. My parents are going to kill me. School- I am kind of worried about the whole thing. I never had to try that hard in high school and I was in the top 10%. but everyone at Texas is somewhat smart or they wouldn't be here. I heard that Texas had to accept around 3,000 freshman that were in the top 10%. I was at the bottom of that spectrum. I wish it would be 20 min. already. I am so tried. I have large amounts of homework to do today. As I sit here there are lots of people passing in church outfits. I feel guilty that I didn't go this morning. At home (Houston) my family went every Sunday at 7:30. My mom is weird. Why would you go at 7:30 when you could go at 9:30, 10:45, or 12:30. She makes me so mad sometimes. Last night we got in this fight over plane tickets to Oklahoma. My boyfriend and I were going to split the price but she wants him to pay since his family has millions. She is such a snob. I never understood why though. Actually I am surrounded by a lot all the time. I just finished "rushing". What an experience!  I am so glad it is over. My time is almost up. I can't wait to stop typing. My eyes hurt and I still have that headache. I complain way to much. Alright bye.
I FEEL REALLY TIRED NOW. I JUST COMPLETED MY PRE TESTING NOW,. THE TIME IS SO LATE NOW, I WONDER IF I WOULD BE ABLE TO STUDY MY PSYCHOLOGY BOOK TODAY. THERE IS NOBODY IN THE COMPUTER LAB TODAY. I THINK I AM DEVELOPING A HEADACHE. I HAVE SO MANY STUDYING TO DO THIS WEEKEND. I HAVE MY PHYSICS HOMEWORK TO DEAL WITH, MY CALCULUS 3 HOMEWORK TO WORK OUT, MY BIOCHEMISTRY HOMEWORK TO DO. GEES THAT SOUDS LIKE A WHOLE LOT TO DO. TODAY HAS BEING HELL FOR ME. TO START OFF, I LOST MY CREDIT CARD. I WISH I WAS AT HOME RIGHT NOW. I COULD WEAR I SMELL SOETHING BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. I WONDER WHAT MY SISTERS ARE DOING NOW. I AM SURE THEY WANT ME HOME. BHUT I HAVE OTHER PRIORITIES TO TAKE CARE OF, LIKE STUDYING. I HAVE TO DO EXCELLENTLY WELL THIS SEMESTER, TO BRING UP MY GPA AVERAGE. SO FAR I THINK MY CALCULUS CLASS IS GOING ON FINE. My PHYSICS CLASS IS ALSO GOING ON FINE. I WONDER HOW MY LAB WOULD BE LIKE. I HOPE I DO VERY WELL IN THE CLASS. I JUST HAVE FAITH THAT THIS SEMESTER IS GOING TO BE GOOD. I KNOW IT IS. I AM GOING TO TRY AND DO MY BEST. I NEED A GIRL IN MY LIFE. HOW CAN I EVER GET A GIRL, WHEN I AM JUST TO PICKY. WHY NOSA WHY?I JUST CAN HELP THE WAY I FEEL. I MEAN IT IS ME, I CAN'T HELP IT. I AM LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT GIRL, NOT A SUPERFICIAL GIRL, NOT A FAKE GIRL, A REAL, BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT AND FUNNY GIRL. SOMEBODY THAT WOULD MAKE ME LAUGH, SOMEBODY THAT COULD ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM. SOMEONE TO LOVE ME MORE THANANYTHING IN THE WORLD, SOMEONE THAT WOULD DIE FOR ME. SOMEONE THAT WOULD LIKE TO GROW OLD WITH ME AND STILL LOVE ME THEN. IF I COULD JUST FIND THAT SPECIAL PERSON, I WOULD BE THE HAPPIEST MAN OF ALL. IS IT TOO MUSH TO ASK FOR. I MEAN I AM A GOOG LOOKING GUY AND QUITE A NICE GUY TOO. WHAT MORE COULD A WOMAN NEED. I AM SWEET. SWEET AS AN APPLE PIE. I KNOW THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE FOR ME. MY SOUL IS SEARCHING TO FIND YOU. I JUST HOPE HER SOUL IS SEARCHING FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME. WELL BACK TO REALITY. STUDYING. I GOT TO GO STUDY. I FEEL HUNGRY AND SLEEPY.
Writing about what I am thinking will be a new experience for me. I just got back from psychology class, so naturally I am thinking about psychology. The way I learn is that I review everything said in class in my mind for at least 30 minutes after class. Now that I am doing the writing assignment I have other things to think about. my roommate is cleaning out the refrigerator. I honestly think that she is one of the most histerical persons in the world. my other two roomates are engrosed in the television which basically means that they are compeletely useless for the next four hours (unresponsive to almost anything excep for maybe a fire in the house) maybe they will talk to my roommate that is cleaning out the frig. during a comercial. Kate, the one cleaning out the frigerator just called the two couch potatoes re and tard, that made me laugh. Trying to keep one line of thought is really hard for me. I listen to everything that goes on around me and have to have a thought about it. It makes it really dificult for me to study most of the time. I cannot study at home because I have to talk to all my roommates or listen to them being crazy or something normal (that does not happen very often around here though)  I also cannot study at libraries because I am a people watcher. I like to just sit and watch people. I learn a lot about people that I don't even know just by watching them interact with their friends, or even how they walk. I also suffer from severe migranes, which makes my life interesting when I get a really bad one. I think I have almost overcome them, but I do have one right now. all I have to say about it is AGHHHHHHHH. My mind almost automatically switches to thinking about Alexander when I have nothing else to think about. he is my best friend and I love hanging around him. he just broke up with his girlfirend and I just broke up with my boyfriend so we have a lot of crying to do around each other. my exboyfriend was really bad for me. it took me two and a half years to be able to say that outloud. I think the only reason that I went out with him, and stayed with him was because he was the first guy to acknowledge my existence. I guess I didn't have very much self esteme when I met him, but now I do, and now I realize how bad he was for me. Alright, it think that my 20 minutes are almost up, so I am going to go eat something and get ready for water polo practice. adios.
My main thoughts right now consist of music. I am thinking of a new song that I wrote about my thoughts on the people that I have seen at UT. Music I feel is the greatest thing in the world because I get to release all my emotions through a song. I think most people do not understand music or in that same since the love for sound and melody. These reasons have helped me to conclude why people like bad music like boy bands. Surely anybody with any amount of intelligence could see that these bands or groups, have no talent except that they can sing other peoples songs. I don't believe any of them write their own songs, so I can't see why people would think they are talented. This brings me to something else I do not like about people, they are generally fake. What I mean by this is that they do everything to impress others and not them selves. For example, people try to fit in with a crowd by wearing certain types of clothes and name brands of everything. This things I do not do and hopefully never will. I feel that people really do not know what they want or even how to get to where they do know. I thought by coming to UT that I would see less of this type of attitude from people but I now know that this is not the case and people are like that everywhere go in life. From this point I would like to say that UT is great(except for parking)and that I do like more people here then I did in high school. I am not sure what I want to do with the education I am receiving from this school but I hope that very soon I will recognize my calling in life.
the tv in here is always too loud. I know I shouldnt watch it while I study but its kind of hard with people in and out all the time anyway. and the fan is always too cold. but thats ok because I just ran all the way over here since I thought that I had missed the deadline for this. that really scared me. I have been slacking off way more than  I should. I hate the way on awards shows try to kick people off stage subtley with light music or commercials. its just kind of rude. I don't know why they make such a big deal about the emmys anyway. tv is not good. rots the brain. I think computers do it much more. I always have headaches after staring at a screen for a while. my head hurts already. I am so glad this is going to be in on time. and I'm missing a bit of study hall anyway and that is good. I love kevin costner. too bad hes getting a little old. and he did that movie post man. this week is going to be harder than the  first two. I think. I need to go to those si sessions. my shoulders itch and I really need to figure out what I'm going to do this weekend. I need to just make a decision and stick to it for once. I really need a haircut this week. I am a little on the shaggy side. there are certain things that I do miss about home now that I'm actually gone. I'm not the type to get homesick but I at least knew my way around for simple things like haircuts. and I had options. here I am pretty much stuck with whatever is closest. this assignment is going on forever. I think I was a little worried that it was late. so I got a little excited when it came to typing. thank god lindsey was wrong. I love the show friends. but I quit falling for all those reatarded teen shows. can't stand them. hopefully I can fill up the space before I run out of time. or things to say. atleast my computer is finally working. I fell dumb that I couldnt set it up myself. I'm better off than my roommate though. she had never sent an email before saturday. pretty lame if you ask me. crap I forgot to call that guy about the football tickets. I would be so excited if I got to go to dallas on friday. I miss those people. not the alchoholism though. this better not delete or crash right now. would be too typical . not really. this is like writing a big letter or email. but this is a lot more boring because instead of actually talking to a person who has any idea of who I am or what I'm like  I'm just talking to myself. I'm actually talking to a computer screen which is even sadder. but no one is going to be reading this so I guess it doesn't matter. as long as  I turn this in. I'm so bored right now and all I can think about is that I have to do another one. not good. blah blah blah. I think I'm done.
I should have done this assingment sooner. It is a different type of assignment from ones I usually get. It is hard to write out what I am thinking about. I can't seem to put my thoughts into words, or maybe I can but I just don't want to tell anyone about somethings that I think about, especially someone I don't really know. I think that is the reason I put off this assignment for so long. I didn't know if I wanted to just pour out all of my thoughts into this assignment. I don't know if I thought I would be ambarrassed with my thoughts or if I just wanted to keep them secret. Not that any of them would be embarrassing. I think that I mostly  just didn't want to have to write them down. It doesn't seem that writing down your thoughts would be very difficult, but once you actually sit down and try to track your thoughts your mind goes blank, or you try to think of something interesting to think about. I was thinking about going to work tonight and wondering if I would actually get off at nine. I also thought about an internet friend from Kansas who I haven't talked to in a while. But I didn't think those were too interesting to write about so I began to think about other things. It is amazing how you can think about so many different things sometimes and at others times you can't think of anything. Just the other day, I was trying to write a philosophy paper and I thought I would be able to write it very easily. But when I actually sat down and began to put my thoughts into words on the paper it came to be extremely difficult. I knew what I wanted to say but it was hard for me to elaborate my thoughts to fill two pages for the assignment. I became frustrated and disappointed with myself brecause I couldn't expand my thoughts. I believe that I could have written a beautiful paper but at the times I sat down to work on it my brain seemed to go blank and I couldn't think of the right words to use or how to make my sentences make sense. I htink that I have this problem often, but usually I can overcome my "writer's block" simply by putting the assignment away for a while and trying to write again later. I think that is another reason I put this assignment off for so long. I made it seem harder than it really is and made myself have "writer's block. "  I seemed to not be thinking about anything so I couldn't just put my thoughts down. I was also worried about writing about the right things, but I realized it doesn't mater what I write about, it is just supposed to be what I am thinking. These twenty minutes have actually gone by pretty fast and I feel good about myself for just getting this assignment done and not procrastinating any more. I have definetly learned to do these assignments right away and that I don't have to think too much about them. I just need to write and not worry about how "stupid" I think they sound.
I have to go to the SI unit and then the Crew meeting and come home, shower, get ready, and meet Ann and Chad for dinner. I should have some time tonight to do homework. I'm still tired from last night, maybe I can take a nap sometime today. Otherwise, I can always sleep in tomorrow. Having only afternoon classes will be interesting. My lab might be hard because it's at night, but it seems really lax. It's such a difference from the chem labs. I'm so glad it doesn't seem hard at all. I hope my physics lab is easy as well. One can only hope. Not having lab the first week is nice. It worked out well so I could be home to help my parents help move our stuff. It's such a pain to have to move when school is already in session. I'm a little shocked the manager didn't have us sign the lease before we moved in. I hope that's not an indication of how much she cares about the renters. At least there's a lady downstairs who has lived here for 20 years that knows everything about this place. It's so nice having an apartment right next to a bus stop. I think it's fate we moved in here. After all the hassles we've had it looks like its going to be worth it. I still have to hang up all my clothes, but everything else is done. I can't forget to meet Dan at 10am on Monday in the PCL to work on physics homework. It's 6 pages long. I hope it's as easy as the first homework. It still took a while to finish though. From 7pm to 1am. This time I'll start earlier. I'm glad that my sister is coming in town, but she picked a bad weekend. I have a lot of reading to do and 2 tests to study for. I need to start seriously studying the PCAT. I can't believe I almost missed the deadline on that again. This is ridiculous. I hope I get into UT Austin. That's the only place I'd really like to go. Except maybe UCSF or University of Washington. UCSF is probably too expensive. I'd want to live in San Fran when I have money so really I only want to got o Pharmacy school in Austin or Seattle. The only thing about Seattle is I hope Sylvia has gotten cleaner. I know she never cooks anymore, so probably. We'd have to get a bigger place than what she has now and I might just have to leave all my stuff here and buy new stuff. That's going to be expensive. I hope whatever happens, Mom and Dad aren't disappointed in me. They need a web page for PAC so I know when I need to get in line and for what. The draw system for the football team is so much more efficient, even though they don't give out all the information I need either. Maybe next year I won't buy either. It's so much of a pain. I don't even feel like going. I bet that's how they make their money. I don't know about the plays, but at the games students get crappy seats. I know they were trying to improve that, I wonder if that went through. Probably not. As a whole, UT just cares about money and not the poor students. That's why alumni get everything. Good luck to the "sick" staff.
I am a sophomore at UT. I am very excited about doing this assignment because I just received my email account. The whole technology thing really amazes me. I am very excited about taking this class because I am interested in the study of people and how their minds work. I am a little undecided on my major, and who knows:  this may be my calling. Well, maybe!  This is very fun for me being here on the world wide web. I feel like I've been in the dark for so long. I'm sitting here wondering what the people around me are doing?  Are they browsing or doing actual work. My guess is that they're doing important stuff, like I am doing. I'm looking forward to exploring other websites after this because like I said this is my first time on line. Now I can talk to my international friends and actually be in contact with my professors and teaching assistants. I have no idea how I made it through a whole year without an account. I guess that's why I missed a lot of posted assignments. O. K. now my hands are getting tired because it's been a whole summer since I've actually done work. But let me tell you it was a pretty exciting summer. I saw friends that I haven't seen in a while and had some wild and crazy times. I should have gone home to save money, but instead I stayed in a very expensive apartment on West Campus and spent all the money I worked so hard for on bills, etc. I am a waitress at Cafe Serrano's. It's a bit fun at times, and I make money on occasion. It really makes my whole opinion and view of people change. I mean, I really try to respect everyone for who they are, but when you're constantly waiting hand and foot on a bunch of stingy, angry people it kind of gets you down on people as a whole. It's a fun environment behind the scenes. I have some fun times with some great friends. We goof off and joke around, and we even hang out after work. I'll have to cut back on the hanging out part with school starting again. My boss thought it was a good idea to work me 50 hours this week. So, I'm pulling my hair out here. I'll tell her tomorrow that I cannot work this much while taking classes. I'll have a nervous breakdown. I do need the hours to pay bills, but I might be able to make it with only a few shifts a week. After all waitressing pays pretty good money when the business is there, you know. If all else fails, I'll beg my parents for a loan. whew now my hands are really tired. I realize that this is nothing compared to some of the stuff I will be writing; however, I still need to get warmed up for the semester. God, I can't wait until Christmas break. I love the holidays so much. I'm never in such a good mood as I am then, unless I have just been dumped by the man of my dreams which doesn't happen every year but it does and that is wh6y my feelings towards men is a very negative one. Actually I love the opposite sex, but at the same time I want to kill every one of them. Actually I am just waiting for Mr. Right and when I settle for Mr. alright for now that's when the crap hits the fan. Well it's been fun but my time's up. I guess I'll visit next time for assignment 2. Later!