ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
I'm sitting here thinking about what in the world my friends behind me are talking about, it's pretty funny. we just got finished eating at taco bell, which at the time sounded like a good idea, but i'm now seriously regretting that choice. My friend is quizzing me about what I am typing and it's really messing me up, she can be so obtrusive sometimes. I can't complain though, because I came here to use her computer so I could print off something, so I should be thankful, right? Oh yeah, I'm using proper grammar, hope that wasn't part of the assignment. I just thought about how long twenty minutes is. This assignment could never end. My friend didn't go to class yesterday, so her and her roommate are talking about this, who knew something so goofy could be talked about for five minutes, but who am I to judge, because I do the same thing. Michelle is trying to explain what happened on All My Children to me, not taking into account I am trying to do homework, but the bad thing i actually want to know. I don't feel good, so if this paper is a little weird take into account I am probably delusional from sickness and maybe fever. My nose is running, my throat hurts. Okay now my friend is saying she would have beat me in grade point in high school if she has worked on. she has been saying this for three freaking year, what is the statute of limitations on dwelling?  Oh my God, my nose will not quit running, that makes it very hard to type. You ever realize when you are told to write what you think, the pressure makes it impossible to keep your thoughts on logical things. So instead I just keep thinking how,   I don't know what I'm going to write about  . Now my friends are talking about this show called the rerun show, where they make fun of old shows, this one being saved by the bell. I used to love that show, i can even remember most of the episodes. We are so retarded, I can't believe we are actually talking about this. Remarkably, this conversation has been going on for eight minutes. I actually kept tabs on the little timer thing. Michelle has hairy legs, she keeps annoucing it to everyone, who cares. Although, it is kind of gross because she is wearing shorts. Nobody is talking behind me now so once again my thoughts are on the paper and I am drawing a total blank. When this happens I tend to get nervous and my typing gets extremely bad, so I am having to delete alot. Now my friends are watching me and that makes me even more nervous. Oh I bet this makes for an exiting paper for someone to read, the ranting and raving of a sick, saved by the bell loving freak. Something horribly embarrassing happened to me today, I was telling my friend about how my professor says the word Chicago weird, guess who was behind me. the professor no less, I am not sure i will ever fully recover from that.
I've been thinking and this "freshman fifteen" thing has to be an urban legend. I mean, really, I've never walked so much in my entire life. Everything is about a fifteen minute walk from my dorm so I figure, if I walk to class to my dorm to class to lunch to my dorm, that has to be a few miles just walking the campus. Then I run errands and visit my friends and before I know it I've had an entire week's workout. And then when I have extra time I go to the gym and I know I'm not alone on this because it's always so damn full. For instance, tonight the entire weight room was full and every last piece of equipment was being used. So I know I'm not the only one who walks, like 20 miles a day and still goes to the gym. But let's suppose I rode the Campus Loop everywhere and didn't go to the gym, then would I gain weight? No because the Jester cafeteria is not somewhere I go for seconds. Of course the food isn't the worst I've ever eaten, but I'm definitely not going to over indulge in it. And on top of all of that they post the fat grams at the buffet line. There is no way to ignore the fact that you're eating unhealthy. It's all spelled out for you six inches from your face. Cheese Pizza: 19 grams of fat; Hamburger Topping: 6 grams of fat. How can you ignore that? But I guess these are all positive things because the freshmen fifteen is definitely something I want to avoid. I am willing to eat small portions of not so good food, walk 20 miles a day, and still go to them gym because Gosh Darn It! I will not gain the freshman fifteen. I will not. I won't let it happen. I will break the rules and not follow the fate of college students past. I can't do it. I won't do it. I will not gain the freshman fifteen. Besides, it's just an urban legend anyway.
I have finally made it to college. I miss my family and friends but at the same time I am proud and happy with the changes that have come as a part of college life. It's is something new. I feel confident that I will succeed here at UT, but most importantly, I want to succeed. I am excited about all of my classes and look forward to gaining the knowledge that each professor has to offer. I sometimes worry about finding my special little niche here where there are so many students. However, each day I feel a little more comfortable with myself and the university. Above all I find myself missing someone back home who I have only known a short time the most. He is a wonderful person with whom I have this extraordinary mental connection. Being away from him has made me think more in detail about how the human mind and the concept of relationships depend heavily upon one another. It makes me wonder what abstract thought can make a person be able to relate everything  they see and do someway to another person. I am positive that it is not an obsession but it is something stronger than just a casual feeling. Well I guess I will just have to continue to ponder about the whole situation.
What is love of an emotional basis? How do you know you are in love? Is there a boundary to love? Are there limits? Many people ask these questions, including myself, but cannot find an answer to these questions. I believe that this can only be found out by experience, where you test these limits and grow by it. I have noticed in my personal life that I grow emotionally and mentally each time I find a new partner. Love must be a learning experience right? It seems to be that way. I was first involved in a relationship in my sophomore year of high school, were I felt as if I was in love with this girl. We took it to the extreme where we contemplated about getting married and planning the number of kids we would have. But this form of love seemed to build so quickly. As I looked back at the letters we wrote each other, it seems we fell in love in a matter of a month or two. How cold that be? Does love come at once, or does it grow on you? Nine months later, we ended our relationship. It seemed to be the most painful event I had experienced. I next felt like I loved a girl I barely knew. We dated, but nothing came of this, however the crummy feeling you feel after a relationship is over lasted almost a half year. How could someone I just dated for a span of a month create such an effect on me? By my senior year, sometime in January, I became interested in another girl. By this time I had felt that I had grew and I would be able to make this girl happy, and would not make he same mistakes I did with the last girls. As time passed my love grew for this girl, something I had not felt in so long and so strongly. Eventually (1 year and 1 month) things deteriorated. How could I have let this love slip? I thought I had mastered the relationship sector of my life. During the Summer I met a new girl, whom I am currently with. I don't want to make the same mistake I have before but is it inevitable. Will this relationship be like the others, or will I love her stronger than the other girl?
I am leaving to see my sister at the University of Oklahomea and I will also see my high school friends this weekend. It feels strange going back to my home state. I feel like I have moved on in my life and in just these past four weeks I have matured into a completely different person. I feel that by going away to school I have learned lessons I would never have acquired by going to my state school. It smells like an old lady in my room because my roomate broke a parfume bottle three days ago and the smeel seems to have resided permanently in our carpet. The smell is so strong I can barely concentrate. People in my dorm slam their doors so loudly. It could scare a person in total relaxation. I am late to leave. My friend who is driving was suposed to be here about ten minutes ago. I guess this tardiness is a good thing becaus I need to write my paper. The problem with this paper is I can't type as fast as my brain can think. I hate Instant Messenger. You have it on and people automatically think you want to talk to them. And then after you fail to respond there is this constsnt message   Are you there. . Are you there. Well, I guess you don't want to talk to me.   This isn't the case at all. It is just that I have too many things going on in my life to sit and have small talk, such as,   Oh how is school?    I need to acquire better typing skills. That parfume smell is giving me a killing headache. I am glad I am leaving this weekend. Hopefully the smell will begin to difuse into the air. Our room is pretty clean for the first time since school has started. This is probably because my roomate is also gone so, she is not here to leave all her belongings strewn across the floor. Twenty minutes is along time to write. At first you don't think it is a long time, but when you are actually up against clock it seem like eterninty. I have alot to do in the coming weeks. In two weeks, I have my first exams in all my classes. On top of having study, I don't know what the tests will be like nor do I know how to do alot of the material we are covering in chemistry. But I cannot worry about this now or else I will submitt myself into ultimate stress. Yes, I am fligthing instead of fighting. I wonder if I will get to meet up with my parents this weekend. I thought at first when they left me at school that I would miss them uncontrollabley, but in relaity I didnt even cry. I don't know if this is becaus ei just havent allowed myself to cry for them or if I am just truely subconciously ready to mvoe on in my life. My back also hurts. I don't know why it hurts, but it does. I can't remember any activity I have participated in where my back would ahve been injured. Maybe it hurts from running. I am having a mental block.
camping was fun. got a little too drunk. I think I'm getting sick though. sore throat, headache, the usual routine. no worries. I hope I can be as happy as those people we camped with. even though they were kinda old they were still really cool. and they were partiers. it's wierd to think that peopole so different in age can totally relate to each other. I thought it was going to be a boring weekend but I think I actually learned a lot. I hope that when I'm that old I can still appreciate life as much as they do. they were just so gracious for everything they had even if it wasn't a kings life. and that one guy was the shit. I can't imagine being shot out of a cannon. he must have some great stories. I hope I can see dustin tonight. that would be bad ass. but I would really really like to see a sunset too. I'm definatley lacking in the sunset category. but I don't think the ones here will be nearly as good as el paso. damn I miss el paso. I miss the desert. I could go for laying in the bed of a pickup truck and watching the stars while listening to good music. maybe some live acoustic shit. bongos and guitars. that's the shit. I love gummy bears. the white ones are the best. but the other day we got a really weird one. it was big and gflat and tasted fujnny. but it was good. it was so good that we even split it between three people. so d'lane and I met this guy deniz. I don't know about him.     I have hella ant bites. they suck. all ants should die. a painful, painful death. I need to paint my toenails. that will be fun. I love my new fish clarence. he's so cool!  but he's a very deepo sleeper and he likes to play dead a lot just to mess with my mind. I hate fish!  but for some weird reason I really like that guy. but I miss my kitty a lot. that's a bummer. well I think it's been 20 minutes.
For some reason I am very tired. Ever since I have been up here I always feel tired. Some days I don't do very much so it does not make sense for me to be very tired. I also get very bored sometimes. I can think of absolutely nothing to do. I wish I had my computer so I could save this so later I can see what I wrote. I thought I would be doing more and going more places when I got up here. My friends that I am always with up here are not very active and exciting. I miss my best friend a lot. I don't miss home, just the people there. I also miss my very, very good friend who goes to school in Indiana. I miss him so much. I think about him all of the time. I miss him more and more each day. He is just my friend, so I don't know what is wrong with me. We became a little closer over the summer. Some people that I know think that we should date. I don't know. I think I might like him, but I sometimes feel that I shouldn't. I don't know. I miss him so much. I worry about him all the time. I also worry about my brother and my sister very much. Hopefully, I will get to visit Justin in Indiana for Thanksgiving. However, he might come home. I really hope that he does come home. If I go up there I will get to see real snow. I like it up there very much. I don't know why. I have been twice. I really like his friends up there. They are great guys. We have lots of fun together. All the guys who go to his school are gentlemen. I have told myself that if I don't like it here this year that I will transfer next year. But, I love it here, even though I get bored sometimes. I love Texas. Justin hates it for some reason. He thinks I should transfer to a college near Indiana. I have thought about it. The only thing is that I like it here. If something goes wrong I might transfer. I would love to be closer to him, but anything I have ever done for a guy has turned out bad. One should only do things for oneself and one should only listen to their own heart. I'm not sure what my heart is telling me to do, yet. See, I need to quit thinking about him so much and concentrate more on school and studying. This is what I came to college for. To study and learn, not in search of a relationship. I need to remember to go to Mezes and sign up for experiments. I wish we didn't have to do that, but it is much better than writing a 5 page paper. I have never been able to write research papers well. I can write stories and essays well. Oh! I just finished the best book ever. It is Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. I love it so much. I think Jane Austen is my new favorite author. I am now reading Emma by Jane Austen. It seems like it will be a great book, also. I think 20 minutes are over. It sure did go by rather quickly. Bye!
At this very moment I feel anoyed and somewhat angry at what I see everyday. For example, there was a notice on my apartment door that I read after coming home from school. It stated that there was a homicide in the apartment complex. about 3 days ago there was another notice that warned about an armed robbery nearby. When I ride the Ut shuttle busses to school, I notice that now a days there is no sense of courtesy, nobody thanks the driver and students don't even bother to notice traffic when crossing streets. everyone is too caught up in their own little worlds to even show some form of humane decency. I don't know why I get angry when I think of this, maybe I pay too much attention to things I shouldn't. I have always disliked people but loved individuals, but what can be done to improve or avoid ignorence bbut to simply choose not to act irrational. enough of that. Now I am beggining to think of all the things I must do. I feel rather confused because I don't know if I should quite my job. It is not easy at all to be a full time student and work over 30 hours a week as a waiter at Antonios Tex Mex. On top of that, I just moved from apartment complexes, and I have not completely finished orginizing my stuff at my new apartment. There is an empty Burger King bag infront of me and I feel guilty. You see about 1 year and 5 months ago, I used to be very fit, I mean I had it all. I'm 6 ft. tall, and during that time, I weighed about 200 lbs but out of pure muscle, I was scorching hot. That is around the time I meat my girlfriend (I hope you don't think this is cheesy) and so we got together; about five months passed, and I just ballooned into 265 lbs. The reason I stated earlier that I felt guilty for eating the burger was because I am trying to get back in shape. And I also feel bad because I know that my partner worries about my health. But I do get satisfaction and happiness due to the choices I've made in my life, I chose to stay in school and never do drugs, also I have a person who has been with me in great times as well as tough times, and has had love for me in my horrible looking days as much as in my good looking days.
I wonder why the Braves got swept by the Mets, the Braves are awesome and the Mets roster is full a bunch of nobody's  this sis the second day in a row that I have smelled tuna fish in the hallway  they call Bill Parcells the big tuna and he looks really funny because he has a regular body and a extremely large waist  their was a girl in my class today that looked kind of like Bill Parcells with long hair  everytime I looked at her I saw Bill Parcells face super imposed on her face every day for the last week some chinaman has called my cell phone and when I pick up he talks Chinese, Vietnamese, or some language from the orient until I hang up  I wonder if he knows I don't speak Chinese  my math teacher is very similar to the man who calls me because when he teaches math its in Chinglesh and its hard to understand him I wonder if my math teacher is the man who keeps calling me on my cell phone  I was sleeping a minute ago and then my roommate came in and that is when I smelt the tuna again  I got my ticket for the Arkansas game today and it only took 5 minutes that was great I saw Cedric Benson and Huston Street today they were both walking with hot blondes Neil Young has creepy sideburns but he is a great musician my roommate downloaded one of those virtual girls off the internet that does a strip tease on your desktop and it kept him entertained for hours it was cool I wish I could play the violon or some instrument their was a kid at my school who was a all state oboe player I heard him play one time and it sounded like crap but I guess that means he is really good my history teacher from high school was hot even when she got pregnant she was hot I love history its weird when you think about people you know really well because then awkward thoughts pop into your head about your grandmother in a swimsuit my mouse just fell off my desk and is now cracked I wonder why its called a mouse I should now the answer to that question writing what I think makes me want to think about nothing I wonder if my sisters are having fun at their new school I love my little sisters  I miss wrestling with my little sisters  I would always let them win
ok, so I guess I just type here. for twenty minutes. Hrm interesting you know I think this will get very boring really fast. (and my roommate asks "so you just write? anything? crazy dude") wow. I thought at least something would come but er. Never mind. I do not know really what to write about. great and only a minute and a half into it. er. hrm, maybe write about this computer, or the fact that I do not have one yet. that sucks. in college and I have to either go to a lab or use someone else's computer while constantly I see others around on their own machines. I have a phone call! yay. my 'mentor' telling me about an event in front of ECJ. weird trying to type and talk at the same time about two completely off different things. eh. phone's off. coming on five minutes now. almost. So I was early. you know this can't all be that interesting typing for a solid twenty minutes. most of these papers must be extremely boring. unless someone goes off and just starts telling a story or something. hrm, sounds like maybe something to do. well, it all began a long time ago. well, long in the sense that they were young when it began; that time period to others may just be what they consider a few years or so. (did you know that is you try to hit tab to indent it takes you out of the typing window. very annoying I must say) (I need a name. Er, Samsung monitor, ok the character's name is Sam) Sam had been a small child when his father disappeared, therefore he had little memory of him. all he could think of was being told stories as he was falling asleep or going to the occasional trip to the park. nothing really stood out to tell him what his father was like. many others that had known his father would tell him that he was an odd person, constantly coming up with random ideas or running off to work on something new and exciting, except that no one ever knew exactly what he ran off to do. they also told him of when his father was younger; he would disappear for days on end, supposedly off camping or exploring by himself, and would return different. how different, they could not quite say, but something changed in him. , not always for the better. often he would come back slightly depressed or would remain to himself for weeks, but after time, he would return to his energetic self. (I notice I seem to misspell quite a bit and even though I try to catch and fix the word as I type it, some words do get through without my notice and I'd rather not go back and change them. Also I tend not to capitalize much when typing. this is probably due to the fact that I have grown to accustomed to writing in Word and it will capitalize certain things automatically; that and I am usually too lazy to remember to do so. ) After Sam's father disappeared the last time, his mother fell into a strange illness. there was not a doctor who they could find who could explain the sickness. it was as if something from another world. Something definitely there but not