wow, I want to go talk to the socialist organization they have a booth out on the west mall, but I am scared. I called them a long time ago. do they remember? I was supposed to go to that march but I didn't I hope they don't remember me-as  not showing up-Ill go in a little while. I hope the toadies don't open up for rage on Saturday, the toadies don't deserve to open up for a band like rage-rage has energy and pizzazz. the toadies suck, they're okay. i dunno, that boy looks like Andy, I don't know what to write, I am trying to write whatever pops into my head first, I wonder what they're gonna do with this I thought he was sam, I  look around at people  a lot, I wonder what people think o f me when they see me,  I think I am pretty thin, but I have a poofy stomach. liposuction would be great, what am I gonna say when I go up to the socialists? hello? I am ericka, I called one of you before--was it you? no no no --I just have to be calm, why am I so nervous? my stomach is tying up in knots. breath in , gosh that's so lame that the wu tang clan cancelled, they suck, why did they do that, I wanted to see the, live- then I could say Ive seen them, Ive seen rage, Stanford prison  experiment, mighty mighty bosstones, pietasters, h2o, cherry poppin daddies, miss xana don't and the whatevers, less than jake, discount, frenzal rhomb, the impossibles. I have probably seen others, but I dunno, I like shows, Kim goes to all the ones I go to but I haven't even met her in person yet, only on the  computer, how weird the computer brings people together, maybe Ill write her tomorrow, or today, I don't have much time lately, I am sleepy, I want to hang out with people, especially boys, they are my friends more than girls although I am  one, we get naked in front of each other, we spit, burp, fart, we are comfortable or at least I am,  I wonder if they look at me like one of them, well I guess so, if we do those sorts of things. I am pretty much a boy, sometimes I wish I was, but I like being a girl, no not when it's time to bleed, but see, I can have a baby, and do other things they can't, I love boys, I love Andy, gosh I wish he was here so I could take him down to the socialist table with me I think he knows them, I hope they don't leave, I am going to go when I finish this typing thingy, I can type pretty fast, she looked like Chris, why hasn't she called me, is she in Dallas? I hope Matt didn't leave he probably did, I had a dream he left, I bet he left, he didn't say bye, I hope he emails me, I hope  he doesn't forget me, I hope he has fun in merry old England the princess' funeral is on Saturday, I am glad it's on TV. how sad that was, those freak photographers killed her. paparazzi assassins, he is nevermind. cramps hurt my body bad, but only recently, I wonder why---I never got them before. I am just unlucky what an unlucky girl am I --three more minutes of this, my fingers are getting tired next I will get on the list serve for my juvenile delinquency class, then I will talk to the socialists I hope my breath isn't bad I have chicken breath, but I was in a hurry after lunch. no time no time for picking my butt just do it I hope they're still there when I go down, if they aren't I dunno, I hope Jaime likes me, I kinda like him. I hope I have been writing long enough I think so  adios