Stream Of Consciousness      As I sit behind this bleak, gray screen, I find myself wanting to yank my  dirty blonde locks of hair right out of their follicles. Sure, so far college has been a lot of fun. Why doesn't this program allow me to scroll down to  the next line without pushing "enter"? Am I supposed to keep on typing without pushing "enter" until I hit some kind of barrier and can't type anymore?  Well,  I'm going to operate on the assumption that I should make my own right margin. Back to being completely stressed, I have so many things that I have to do  right now, that is, before tomorrow. So, why the heck am I doing this  assignment when I have until the 12th to turn it in?  I guess that's my nature. I tend to want to do the "fun" things first. If my mother could see me now, she would freak. I wonder what would happen if I got my upper ear pierced?  I bet my mom would kill me. She nearly freaked out when I had my belly button pierced. I feel extremely guilty for having done that behind her back, but I  feel even more guilty for upsetting her and ruining my innocence in her eyes. My roommate wants me to pierce her ear for her. I honestly don't think that I am capable of inflicting that kind of pain on another individual. Sure, I can  pierce my own bellybutton, but when I see another person in pain, I feel twice as bad as they most likely do. Oh well, I'll just give Tracy the money to go  have it professionally done. This pushing "enter" is really beginning to  frustrate me. I keep typing way over the right limit and having to erase and go back and re-type what I already typed. I think I need a computer. I  hate having to work and concentrate amongst all the hundreds of other people  here at the SMF (the Smurf. I smile everytime I hear that). I wanted to buy a computer, and I do have the money since I sold my motorcycle, not by my own  choice, but by my mothers. I realize that was a run-on sentence, but I'm not  about to go back and fix it. I wonder if anyone is actually going to read this or not. I'm just glad that I haven't had any demented thoughts since I have  started typing. Not that I have those often, but we all have certain weird  thoughts that we really don't care to admit having. At least, I hope so. I  bet whoever reads this is going to think that I'm a bad person. I'm really not. I like to think of myself as daring and thrill seeking. My mother likes to  think of me as unconventional and improper and borderline ignorant. So, here I am at UT to prove her wrong. I've taken a step in the right direction by joining a sorority. I think that should be fun as long as I can stay on the  good side of the girls in the sorority. It has been my experience that after  anyone has known me for a long enough period of time, they grow tired of my companionship and toss me aside like yesterday's trash. This is one of the most confusing and hurtful things in my life. I don't understand it. I think I'm  the nicest person that I know. I'm always willing to do things for others to  make them happy. I'm a great listener, and I put everything I've got into  everything that I do (friendships especially). I've been told that things will  change and that things will get better in college. So far, I've found that to  be very true. I've met so many wonderful people that I can't wait to know  better, but the first 18 years of my life has me trained to wonder how long it will be before they drop me. Oh well. my twenty minutes is almost over with and I have successfully typed myself into a foul mood. I really hope  no one reads this. I'm going to leave the Smurf, go back to Castilian and  enjoy being with my new friends while they still like me!