ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
Okay I guess I should begin this by mentioning a little bit about me I guess that's one thing we can I mean I can talk about. I was wondering when I was going to put a period in. That's one thing I'm bad at, I forget to put periods. I hate computers especially when they act up I mean I don't hate them it's just there so sensitive almost like people. People are sensitive to things like for instance today this guy I was talking to. I brought up why I had only seen him say hi to hispanics. Because I feel that you should be as friendly with every sort of people. However I know he's not a racist but I just wanted to bring that issue up to him to hear his response. This question was what my other friend said had made him mad. But hey I'm just frank like that I can't help it. I think now that I'm getting into the mode of things I'm starting to realize how my old self is coming out of me but I told myself that I was going to be me. Not to stop or halt to my small voices in my head. Actually its just one I don't want to give you all the idea that I'm schizo or anything. However I wanted what drugs can do to one. Is there any positive effects from psychedelic drugs? But I'm too afraid to find out that answer. That is something that I've noticed here in campus. It seems to be the main issue at hand but I also think that I just may surround or interact with people with a drug background. Like the book said you group yourself with people like yourself. That's so great about college, no matter who you are you'll find someone like you or for you. Right now I'm working on the female part of that companionship. I read somewhere that right now at this age one is in an endless tireless search for love even to the extreme of promiscuity. But I guess its pretty lame talking about my love life on this assignment but "hey" no one said I was confined to a set of topic. In fact, as I understood it. it's pretty much what we want to write about it. Is that not true, I think so. Notice how I'm burning time writing about nonsense. Or B. S. as some might call it. I'm really glad that I didn't procrastinate this to the last second. The scary thing is that I'm doing this assignment at about twelve thirty or so. In that vicinity. I guess. I guess my time is up.
Well,after I finally figured out how to get into all of this computer stuff,I'm going to calm down by writing. The first thing comes to my mind is I'm wondering whether I should go out tonight or not. I'm determined to finish all of my homework for this week and I'm sure that I'll finish everything by ten or ten thirty. But' my body really doesn't need for me to go out, but by ten or eleven o'clock I get really antsy. I'm proud of myself today because I took care of a lot of stuff that needed to do. I woke up at eleven, which is later than I wanted but I got moving right away. I went to TOP and bought all of my pictures and then I went to my Art History class. After class, Iwent with my two friends Sara and Whitney to University Realtors to figure out our living situation at Villas next year. It turned out that the apartment we wanted had already been taken after the guy said he would reserve it for us. So we got really mad at him and we worked it oit that we would move into the six bedroom apartment rather than the five bedroom apartment. Therefore, we had to get two more roommates. So we went over to Joanie's place and got Erin Vaughn and Joanie to live with us. It actually turned out for the better because the six bedroom place is for 8 people but since he screwed us over, we get to have nine people. With nine people, the rent ends up being cheaper. Since I'm sharing a room with my friend Jennifer, it'll be cheaper for us. I'm really excited about the girls I'll be living with next year because they are all really cool. My roommates for next year at Villas will be Anne, Carolyn, Jennifer, Paige, Sara, Whitney, Joanie, and Erin. I also had Ed on my mind today. He's my new boyfriend and I'm just crazy about him. Everybody says how great it is for me because he is such a nice guy and a gentlman. We just met about two and a half weeks ago and we were crazy about each other right away. Everyone is so surprised that I didn't know him before because we are so close already. Everyone asks how we met: he is my good guy friend's roommate. My guy friend is Will and right when Will moved into Towers, he wanted me to come over and see his place. So I went over there and I distinctly remembering Ed answer the door and I had met him for the first time. I thought he was so cute and we just talked for alittle while and our personalities seemed to click. Later that night, Ed called and invited me to the football game. Then we just started talking more and more and we just fell for each other. I've already screwed up a little bit in our relationship and I was terified that he would leave me. But, he forgave me and took me back right away and I'm so incredibly thankful. I never want to feel that bad again in my life. That's when I knew that I really was head over heels for him when I was terribly depressed over such a small mistake. I hope it works out for the future and all of my friends just tell me to grasp on to the now with your boyfriend and not to look ahead or else it could end up causing problems. I'm just so anxious about everything because this is my first real boyfriend ever. Well, my twenty minutes is up. Bye.
My parents just dropped me off at my dorm room and they are headed home to Houston. They came up for the football game and to see me. My mom calls me every day, whether it be to see if I'm up for school or  if just to see what I'm doing for the day. Gosh, I'm starving right now and my friend just ate all of his Taco Bell. I wish he would have saved some for me. when I get done typing I'm going to go find some grub. Oh, speaking of food, this morning I ate an awesome breakfast buffet at the Double Tree with my parents. I just got a computer; I don't know why I'm using my friend, Matt's, computer. His roommate just  picked up the phone and disconnected me. But, luckily I got right back on. I have so much reading to do today for philosophy, chemistry, and nutrition. I hope it doesn't take too long because I'm so tiered  and I want to take a nap. Every time I wake up from sleeping I feel as though I'm getting more and more sick. I'm on different medications for my asthma, allergies, and my congestion. The good thing is that I have a Doctor's Appt. on Friday. So hopefully I can hang in 'til then. I met a girl that lives down the hall from me named Jenny when I moved in my dorm and it turns out that we long lost sisters. Well,  not really, but we do have absolutely everything in common. It really is weird how alike we are. I feel so lazy staying in side studying on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I would love to go swimming right now. I hope that this writing assignment gets to Janel Seagal or whomever it is supposed to go to. Well, it's over and I'm off to eat!!  Good-Bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My first week here at UT, I went through rush. I was kind of pressured into it by family and friends, but I also wanted to meet people. After a week of being fake and smiling a whole lot, I was invited into a sorority. I'm not the type of girl that loves having a ton of girlfriends, doing hair and make up, and talking about boys. I personally like to keep most of my feelings to myself and doing my own hair (which includes washing it only). I'm not into curling irons or the right eyeliner. Those things just really don't concern me. That is what I thought sorority girls were like. Some of them are girly girls, but I found a few to click with. I'm still not really sure about the whole Greek life thing, but I'm going to try it for a while. The part I really don't like is the whole politics of the whole thing. It is very harsh and costs a lot of money. But, like I said, I'm going to try it. Nothing about college has really surprised me yet, and I haven't really been that homesick, which is a very good thing. I do miss my pets back home and my best friend, but the people here are all so nice and friendly that it makes it a lot easier. I am a little nervous about some of my classes but hopefully that will die down after the first test. I was thrilled when I realized my roommate was normal and the fact that we get along so well. Right now I think I need to focus on getting more sleep and not getting sick. I know I have plenty of time to go out and have fun and I need to learn to study. My parents keep on stressing to me how important it is to go to class and I know that and I haven't missed a class yet and don't plan on it. I want to do well but have fun at the same time. I don't really know what else. The Emmy's are on right now and I really want to watch them. I'm obsessed with tv and movies. I seriously think I watch a movie a day and I guess that is good because RTF is my major. I have a really cute picture of my best friend and I sitting on my desk right now and looking at it is making me want to call her, which I think I will do now.
I'm thinking about Robbie and the email he sent. E-mails. How could that be that he loves me. He doesn't even know me?  I should not have gotten so flustered the first time I read the letters. I should not have told anyone. Now he has become a sort of pariah in my mind, a weirdo, an outcast, never to be touched by me. An that was wrong. He was brave and poetic enough to bring tears to my eyes. I didn't tell that to anyone. I only went off on the fact that it "weirded me out" , thus I became the dumb blonde, the snob, simplifying this event into something that was "weird. "  Now, after I have read the letter again I realize how beautiful it is. Yes, he pairs me with his other love, marijuana, but even so. To him that is beautiful. He said I am what he needs. Angelic, a blazing conflagration in his heart. And none of my letters reached him. They were all sent back. So it is as if nothing has been said, even though my letters were written before I got to the love part of his. How can this be?  An ogre he is, always high on acid or pot. I have hardly talked to him. Before I left we stayed up until 3am, me, him and Aaron. Sitting on the grassy bank of the Mississippi River. Being attacked by mosquitoes.  The sad thing is I know that in a week  I will dismiss  the situation, knowing his explosion of emotion must have been a result of drugs. But forgetting his poetic words, and how I may have brightened up his life. He wants to write movies together. That would be great if we could stay friends with the same old people always, me and Robbie and Keith moving to California after I gRADUATE, MAKING MOVIES. Yeah, like that would happen. And good old Aaron tagging alongside us, loving me. This morning the sun was low-- I am not used to mornings-- and it was cool. Perhaps I should start getting up earlier. The girl just sitting next to me was very flustered. I wish I could have helped but I didn't Have My if# with me. You know how in The Canterbury tales Chaucer capitalizes random Words just for the hell of it ?  Well that's how I type when I'm not thinking. I have a burn on my middle right finger and it hurts when I type. I talked to my brother and my ex-boyfriend on the phone Sunday night. I was good. I am so glad I talked to Woes. He wants us to say "I love you"  as friends when we talk. I couldn't get up the nerve this conversation but maybe next Tim I will. Its just so sappy and Embarrassing (note that capital E).  He is an awesome friend , though. It sucks so bad that he is a fundamentalist.  I had a dream last night about Adam. The one that is soon to be gone to Israel for a year. I think I'll write him letters. He called me the other day here at Texas of all things. But I had to let him go bc Liesel was on the phone. Then I called back and he was gone, never to be heard from again. In my dr4eam we kissed. Like last summer and the summer before. In my dream he was in love with me all over again, in love with my smell. I was so happy and so was everyone else.  That sucks so bad that he's a devout Jew.
Just sitting here and I decided that this would be a good time to write my stream of consciousness. I'm usually tired and don't feel like doing anything, but tonight I have this extra kick of energy (maybe it's the Lone Star). I've got MTV in the background. I swear all I've been hearing about is the Video Music Awards. Well. they'll finally be coming to TV tomorrow night. We had a hall meeting tonight to talk about the Fire Sprinkler Installation, but we didn't go. We decided to go to the one Thursday night, because my roommate was talking to her boyfriend. I always just sit there and listen to her talk. I wish I could talk to my boyfriend! I haven't talked to him for so long. let's see. since Friday night! I swear our relationship is so strange. We hardly ever get the chance to talk or see each other. I get mad at him during this time because I feel like he's not trying to put anything into the relationship, but the minute I start talking to him I forget about all those feelings. I'm just so happy to hear his voice that I don't care about anything else. He's supposed to be coming to Austin this weekend. I bought him a ticket to the 101 XFest. I haven't even bee able to tell him that he has one because he's never home so that I can call him. Oh well! I'm so excited that I get to see him soon. All of a sudden my thinking process stopped. I don't know what to write. This is how I usually feel when I get a writing assignment. My brain just freezes up. I put it off until l the very last minute. I absolutely dread having to take English next semester. I wish that I had tried a little harder on the AP English exam I took my junior year. I scored a 2 the minimum score you can get is a three to test out of it. I remember sitting in the biology lab room, it stunk like formaldehyde frogs. I have no idea why that's where we took our test. It took so long! On the last essay I wrote one sentence and then gave up. I wasn't thinking that scoring a good grade on this test would save from having to take English in college. Blah! Blah! Blah! I can't stop yawning. My eyes are starting to hurt from this bright computer screen. Ok it's 9:12. I can stop now.
Here I go. I keep thinking whether or not I am doing this right. I can't seem to spell anything right. I am going to correct all my spelling after I am done. This line just keeps on going. There was just a commercial with people that that said "I am in the woods" and it sounded like the other add that says "I am Tiger Woods". I am so glad the Cowboys won today. I am not even looking at the screen now, because I was losing my concentration. Only 5 minutes have gone by. I wonder when my roommate will get back. I still dont know why my phone won't work. This line just keeps on going. It is a little bit hot in here. I am getting tired. I sure am glad I got this chair. I wonder how Jason is doing. I wonder bow many of my friends are in Rockwall now. I had a dream about Kim again last night. I wonder when I will see her next. I sure wish I could type better. Now it has been 10 minutes. When is Audra going to call. It is 10:30. Time sure does go by faster here. I need to think about all the  things I need to do tomorrow. But I dont want to. It has almost been 15 minutes. I am anxious to mail my letters. I wonder if I have any mail. I just found food on my shirt. I wish I had something better to eat. I wonder  Oh there showing the tennis highlights now. I am glad that Agassi is doing better. I am noticing that I am writing "I wonder" a lot. It is starting to get harder to type now because I am getting tired. I think the twenty minutes are up. I am stopping now.
I am completely computer illiterate and I never trust them. I have a lot of reading to catch up on and I am worried that I will not have enough time this week. A bunch of my friends and I are flying to Los Angeles on Friday morning for the UCLA vs. UT football game. We are only staying until Sunday evening but that takes away an entire weekend. I should probably bring some of my books with me on the airplane because I think it's about a four hour flight. I am also mad at myself because I took a really long nap today which wasted a lot of time. I think I really needed to catch up on my sleep though from this weekend. We stayed up really late after the game on Saturday and then I woke up early on Sunday to drive to Houston. I went in town to visit my family because I missed them and hadn't been home in a while. We went out to dinner on Sunday evening and then went to look at my Dad's new office. He just moved, it's a little bit smaller than his old one but he doesn't have a partner any more so he doesn't need as much space. Well, now I'm off to try to get on to the Pretesting page.
Well I'm not sure what to start talking about. It's taken forever just to get this assignment started. I had to set up an if account and all that before I could  start. I hate coming to new computer labs, this one is new to me because I just transferred here. I feel totally computer illiterate, so I start to feel like an idiot when the lab people have to go around with me and me  figure it all out. But anyway, I'm here now doing it, and I guess you always learn something from these situations. I learned that I need to get my own account set up from my computer in my room, so then I don't have to worry about coming up here and dealing with this. I guess we are just supposed to tell you what we're thinking about and our thoughts as they change. Well all I keep thinking is I wonder what you are going to think about my thoughts and ramblings when you read this. Maybe you'll enjoy it because I sound paranoid and you can analyze me! ha ha I'm looking out the window now at the trees, wishing I was out there and not working on this assignment. I still have fifteen more minutes to write. I wonder what everyone else here is working on. I'd rather be here doing this than doing the physics equations I was working on before I got here. Psychology is so much more interesting than the other sciences. Well now I have an E-mail account. I never had one before. I think it will be fun to be able to send and get mail. Especially because my boyfriend still lives in Dallas and its getting expensive calling each other every day, but it wouldn't be the same not to here his voice. I've never really been in the UGL before, I registered here but I haven't ever been in here to do any work. I probably should have been in here before now though! I think the chairs are to too low or maybe the desks are too high, its just not that comfortable. I guess they want you to sit up and have good posture like they taught you in typing class. There, I lost my cursor for a while. I guess thats why it says - Who knows I. Well I have to help cook dinner at my co-op tonight, we are having Mediterranean Turkey. I wonder what thats going to taste like, good I hope. Well my time is just about up  so I guess its time to submit my paper. I hope you never read these but even if you do I guess I won't really matter because with the size of our class you don't know me from Adam!
1  Freestyle- trying to write down thoughts that are moving so slowly now-- after spending the day walking up and down the Drag so many times (seems like millions!) in the hot sun. then waiting in line for this computer for ages. I wonder if this is right because its only making one long line instead of lots of lines Maybe I was supposed to press RETURN! Cant think right now except about going home to my new apartment, which is the first apartment that I've ever had. Very big, clean, airy, light, very TEXAS. I wish I had an apartment that was more original, as if there were only one like it in the whole world. With hardwood floors  and pets allowed. So I could get a Lasa Apsa. But Im going to sneak a ferret into my place because they are the CUTEST!!! You can bend them in half and twist them around everywhere and they are so playful. Anyway if I had a ferret I would name it Camilla cuz we used to have a kitten named Camilla but we had to give it  away. If I had two children I always thought I would name them Madeline and Jack, but now Im not sure because Jack sounds like a name for a psychopath--- like in the Shining. These are the ultimate boring thoughts but my brain is in slow motion so oh well. Im absolutely starving right now I could eat yum pasta and artichokes and sushi and olives and steak (not all together!) I have weird taste in food because of growing up overseas I can remember being so little and my parents would take us out for Asian food-- me and Liz only four and five and eating spicy kimchi (MMMM) or fighting over what was the best piece of sushi. And when we only babies our favorite treat was FISH EYES, which I wouldnt be able to stomach now. That was in the Philippines, where we left when I was two, and my only memory of it is a grayish image of lizards on the window above my crib. Some memories are suspicious- like I wonder if they are really mine-- maybe at a young age (like 5 or 6), somebody told me how I loved the lizards outside my window and my mind just fashioned a blurry picture of the view from my crib. Its hard to believe that a person can remember things that happened such a long time ago, especially when you cant remember what you had for lunch the day before yesterday or the name of your high school Physical Science teacher (Mr. Stockwell??) My minutes are nearly up, thank God cuz I need FOOD! Which will probably be Capn Crunch or a tuna sandwich since we need to go grocery shopping. Interesting exercise, too bad my thoughts are nowhere near as beautiful as the stream of con. in Ulysses. Right now food is the main thing on my mind, thank you for reading this.