Hey, well, I am really very nervous, writing down all of my thoughts and feelings on this computer and not in my own personal journal. Because, atleast there I know I will be the only one reading it. But I guess I 'll start writing about what I really have on my mind. My boyfriend and best friend just took off on a long truck ride back home, which is about six and half hours away. They (Jeremiah and Lauren) came to visit this weekend and even though they have only been gone for an hour and fifteen minutes I miss them like crazy! Jeremiah means everything to me and I can't stand the thought of him being five hundred miles away. But then again I decided to come to Texas and not to Tech. Right? Well, that is one thing that is bothering me, the other thing eating away at me is that my new step-mother, who is only four years older than me, is causing some major problems back at home. And on that note it really ticks me off that as soon as I left home she has been on a rampage and really screwing up everything. I feel really helpless because I am over here in Austin and I can't help my sister or my dad go through their problems. I usually stuck up for them when I was home and now I just get to hear about them over the telephone. Which is even more bad because they may or may not be telling me the whole story. I know my dad can handle it but its my kid sister I'm worried about. Jessica, my step mom is such a pain. She is very very, immature for her age and I saw this coming the whole time. I just wish my dad did so he doesn't have to be going thru this right now. I really miss home. I even miss my dog, Homie. I bet he feels like I abandoned him. I was the only one who paid attention to him, but I hope Emily is taking good care of him now. I've only been in school for two weeks and it feels like it should already be november. Sounds pathetic, right? I'm wondering if this was the right decision. I sure hope so. I am a firm believer that God will never give me something that I could not handle by myself. So I just have to take this with a grain of salt and leave it at that. I just wish it was as easy as that. Gosh now it has been one hour and twenty minutes since Jeremiah has left. I keep looking at the clock like he is fixing to get here instead of him being on his way back home. We have become closer ever since I moved. It seems weird saying that but I really mean it. We actually have conversations on the phone, we talk on the internet, and when we see each other it feels like it did when we first started going out, four years ago! It feels great. I love him and I can honestly say that I will marry him one day. Heck, I'd marry him tomorrow if he asked me. He is my best friend and I can tell him anything. He is smart and funny and really good looking. Better yet, he is perfect. He has never cheated on me and always makes me feel like a queen. Sometimes I'm not sure if I deserve him. But I do love him and I always will. It still feels like I'm writing in my diary, although if I was I wouldn't be as consious about typos and mispelled words! I really like this assignment though, it sure beats the chemistry homework I really should be doing right now. I hate chemistry. I hate homework! But it has to be done, right? I often wonder what would happen if I just said to heck with it all and quit. My family would freak. They are so by the book. If anyone was to go out of the norm their whole world collapse. I hope I'm not like that to my kids. I want to be different. I want to make a difference not wait for someone to do it and then say hey I helped them get there. I want to be the one to do something, something special. I just figure out what. I just know that whatever it is Jeremiah is there with me when I do it. You know what? Its hard to type when your nose is running! But I'm almost out of time so I'll keep on typing. I can do it, I can do it! Ha, ha thats kind of funny. Speaking of funny isnt if funny how when your onthe internet you mispell words on purpose and here I am trying really hard not to misspell anything, even when it doesn't matter if the words are mispelled or not. That is bizarre. Remember that song   How Bizarre   I hated it but Jeremiah always sang it and it drove me crazy. Thats funny