I really want to sleep right now. I am so overwhelmed with everything that I just want to sleep. I just need a little bit more rest but a little bit more time. Time, there just ever isn't enough time. Not enough time to read, to sleep, or to study. Time flies. Time is precious. I think that people spend too much time wasting time. I didn't realize that until lately. You think that everyone will always just be there but they aren't. Time is so valuable. The time you spend with people is so precious and important. And I think that sometimes it takes losing some one through a death or some one moving away for you to realize that. I didn't. I would give anything right this second to talk to my grandma. Anything. Or to be able to have my best friend who is that the Naval Academy just give me a hug. But no I wasted a lot of time. But busy busy busy bee. Maybe if I wasn't so busy and didn't get so involved I would have time. But it is so hard to say no. It is hard to not get involved. Especially in college. Everybody needs you! They all want you to join their organization! There are just too many and not enough time! But you know I guess if you didn't do anything and then you would have excess time you would complain about being bored and wish that you had more stuff to do during that time. So is there ever a happy medium. I thought that when I got to college I would have more time. I didn't have to be in class all day and I don't have as much going on but I was wrong. Time is still the same here. So now when I am out of school I will have more time? Right? Why do I have the feeling that once again I will be let down and time will still be as short then? I will have more stuff to keep me busy. A job and maybe a family and then they will take up a huge amount of my time. I just need a break. I need a cruise. A trip to the Greek Isles. Now that would never be a waste of time. That would be a great way to spend my time. I could just lie there and enjoy the scenery and just take it all in. Or got to Hawaii I have always wanted to go to all the different islands there. I think that would just be a blast! There are lots of things that I have always wanted to do. I have always wanted to take belly dancing lessons, be in the Olympics, be able to sing like the women in the theaters, speak several other languages, sky dive, and much more. I wonder if anyone ever gets to do all the stuff that the have "always wanted to do" I wonder if there is enough time in a lifetime to do all of that?? I think that if you really wanted it you could. But I think that if you really want anything that you could. I don't like when people say they can't. I think that is just not a good word. Maybe I am just stubborn and always like I think I can I think I can! But isn't it much better going through life being like I think I can then I can't. How would that be a way to live life? What kind of fun would you have? Always thinking that it couldn't be done. I think that being optimistic is a much better way to live. That is so happy! I love it. I would much rather look on the bright side of life then be like this sucks, I hate this, I am miserable, I hate this, everyone feel sorry for me, and just be Blaaaaahhhh. That just doesn't sound like a good way to live life in my opinion. But I guess that I have just always seen the sun through the clouds. Just be happy and nice and care. That is all that I have ever wanted to do. I love to help. I think that is the greatest thing that you can ever do. Just care about someone. Does it hurt you? NO Does it take a lot of energy? NO So I guess that I just don't understand why more people don't care, and why some many people don't care. What is the point of that? You wouldn't want anyone to not care about you, so you should care for someone else. IT just makes sense to treat someone how you want to be treated. You know the Golden Rule. Well but anyways maybe people will change maybe it will just take time. Everything takes time though. But I have felt relaxed writing this. Maybe I should just write out what I am thinking more often. I kind of like this. I have no idea what I just typed but my mind is clearing. Maybe if my mind weren't so busy I would have more time?? That could be a good idea. I gave my self a great idea! Wahoo I am excited! But this does feel nice to just get all those thoughts out. I miss having my best friends to get those thoughts out to. Maybe just because my thoughts don't ever make sense to me but they could some how always just tell me what I was thinking. I mean not that they were like this is what you are thinking but more that they were like, well I can relate to that by this experience and that is when you are like YES! That is what I am talking about. That is a great feeling. When someone can help you figure out what you are thinking! Wonderful! We should do more of that helping people figure out what is on their mind. Maybe it just makes sense to them. Kind of like the whole thing how do I know that they color blue that I see is that same color blue that you see. I mean we know that we both see blue but do I see maybe your green or vise versa. Who knows? But that would be cool to know. Yeah that would.