ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
I'm thinking about bush and religion. I just had a simi arguement about it. I don't really care for the way the government is trying to impose religion on everyone. country music isn't that bad. I use to hate it in high school and now I've found a liking for it. tomorrow I go to nachadoches to visit friends. I'm looking forward to the driving and getting away from it all. I don't like being stuck down here. my room is really quiet. so is my roommate. we don't talk much. hopefully we'll open up and start to talk a bit. my legs itch and so does my back. I'm really full. that large pizza was really good. but the sight of pizza would make me really sick. I still can't stop thinking about government. it all just sickens me. I wish there were better canidates to choose from. face itches. I'm actually happy tonite. I got an A on my physics homework. ugh, physics was made by the devil, I swear. its like they don't want you to ever pass that class. leg itches. I'm a little stressed though. my shoulders and neck are all tight. I think its because of my whole financial aid deal. hopefully it will all be in by tomorrow so I can have some money for this weekend. arm itches. I really like country music. stomach itches. I miss old friends. maybe ill try to fix that this semester. get back in contact with old friends or try to stay in contact. I need to stop missing calculus class. its not like its hard. I just need to go and pay attention. I need to shave. I just need the time to do it. it takes forever. my chair is comfy. I don't like how my monitor is set-up. I wish I didn't have to turn my neck to look at the monitor. I wonder who is winning the patriots/colts game. I hope the colts win. I don't want to see the pats win anymore. I really like the underdogs, except when its UT playing. got to support the home team. astros finally lost a game. 12 straight and then a lose. hope they won the second game of the doubleheader. now I see why I people don't like country music, it puts you in a more mellow mood. not sad but not happy. more of a reflective mood. man, this summer was awesome. I can't wait til next summer. college intern at cypress united methodist. 200 kids, wow! a girl from katy died today. some people from the mission trip knew her. its so sad to be taken at such a young age. texas better beat arkansas Saturday. ill be pissed if they lose again to them. I itch a lot. my beard especially. that's why I need to shave it. ugh, 8am class tomorrow. I thought freshman year was going to be the only year I had them. oh well, the class is easy and entertaining. I can't wait for this to be over. I really wish me and my roommate would talk more. it gets kind of akward in here when we are just sitting at our computers not talking to each other. I need to excercise. I'm feeling lazy. I want to play raquetball. it was great when I hit ash in the head with the ball and then when I fell on my butt when trying to serve. great times. my beard still itches. I think I'm going to go shave soon. its driving me nuts. this is a lot like writing in a journal. just a lot more random. but being random is fun, it throws people off.
I find it hard to write what I am thinking probably because I am always thinking of several things and it is hard to focus on one. But this weekend's events seem to come to mind. I had a really fun weekend. It is not just that I hate school and I needed a break, I honestly don't feel like I am really in college. I just feel like I am going through the motions. It hasn't really set in yet. But right not I am at a friends apartment where a couple of my friends and I have stayed these past couple of nights. A friend is watching Office Space in the background and I love that movie. It is a great movie and I find it amazing how you can relate much of your life to that movie. I just realized how dramatic I find my life. I make a big deal out of little things. I guess it is my way of dealing with the stress in my life. I make things into a huge deal so it seems too ridiculous to be upset about something that it doesn't bother me anymore. Especially when it comes to boys. I find them to be a huge headache. When a relationship doesn't work out I find it easier to be upset and hurt about it and make it not a big deal because once I am finished ranting and raving, it seems kind of silly. Besides it is easier to be upset at someone than it is to try and get over those feelings you had for them. But the thing about that is you can't hate them. Because in order to hate someone you have to have significantly cared for them at one time or another. The people that hurt you the most are the people that are the closest to you. And I don't want to the people I am mad to know that they have impacted my life to the extent where I am capable of hating them for hurting me. I don't know, it may sound complicated, but it works for me. Some people think I am a very complicated person, but I don't think I am. I consider myself to be an honest person and in return I expect your honesty in return. Don't bother lying to me. Don't waste my time. Time is always something that I lack. There aren't enough hours in the day. Ever since college I find myself sleeping at doing homework and hanging out at odd hours of the day. Just yesterday my friends and I went to 6th Street, went to eat and then came back to our friends apartment to swim at 6:00 in the morning. But I guess that is college. I am really looking forward to what the year holds for me. People here in Austin are really nice. There are some weirdoes, but overall I like it here. I think I made the right decision about college. Life is great. It really is.
I am sitting here thinking about what I am going to eat . I am very hungry. for lunch i had a sala, some pasta and some soup, oh that guy was really hot . when I work out today those guys are going to be really hot too. oh god something stinks. i wonder what it is . I hope its not the person sitting next tome. what is that girl wearing she looks very tacky. when I go to my dorm later I am going to fall out. First I have to call my parents or they will get mad . this is a library why are people walking around and talking so much. I wonder why my roommate does the stuff she does, and why is this person talking so what is wrong with his hear okay it is really starting to stink. oh crap I'm supposed to meet my roommate for lunch but oh well it doesn't matter, this is much more important. Last night the MTV music wards were so crazy, there were a lot of crazy things happening everywhere, I thought I was going to flip. I absolutely loved what Beyonce and Alicia Keys were wearing. I wonder when will Destiny's child get back together hopefully soon. Man I hope I did good on my Spanish quiz it was fairly easy I think. What classes do I have tomorrow hopefully easy ones because I can't stand some of my classes. i wonder what my roommate is doing right now. I wonder if my exboyfriend has a girlfriend right now. man when will this be over 20 minutes is a long time to just write about anything. ooh another hot boy oh and there is his girlfriend. That's okay I look better than her anyways. I wonder what my friends are doing in El Paso maybe I'll give them  a call when I have time. I'm so excited the first football game is this week what am i going to wear who am I going to go with Hopefully we will beat north Texas. oh my god games mean after parties and after parties mean really hot football players too bad I'm only 17 I can probably still get into some clubs. the ones that allow babies. Man it seems like I have been on here for years when is this crap going to end. wow my stomach just growled really loud, hopefully no one heard me but if they did ohg well I know they are probably having the same problem. I wonder what my brother is doing I wonder if he quit the football team yet I told him he should just do track but he didn't believe me so that is his fault, but he'll learn they always do. I wonder did my mom send my money for my ATM because I know I could still use it Oh crap the time is almost up I thought my brain would explode
First of all is my class ME 210. I don't want to be taking it at the moment but I will have to take it sooner or later. I am not good at drawing and that is what the class is mainly about. I would love to learn how to do that but I just wish I didn't have to get a grade. I am more worried abut that class than I am about second year cal. I could postpone the class and take it later, maybe during the summer, but I don't know. It will be a hard class for me. The other thing that is on my mind is whether or not I should play baseball. That is a very complicated subject for me. I would be a walk-on. However, several people who know have told me  that I could easily make the team. On the other hand, that would be very time consuming. I have a girlfriend back in Waco who is still in high school and I really want to be able to see her. I am afraid that If I played baseball then I would never be able to go home. Also, I am an aerospace engineer and I will have a lot to do besides. The other side is that I have the ability to play and if I don't then I will look back and wish that I had. I have had to deal with this issue all summer. If I do play baseball then I will likely have to change my schedule. On the other hand I think that one of the reasons that I don't want to play is because I might be afraid of not making the team or of upper classmen or scholarship player harassment if I did make the team. People have always told me not to take my girlfriend into consideration when making my decision but I can't do that. They all think that just because I am going off to college that I will find a new girlfriend, and I may, but I don't want to and It won't be anytime soon. We've already talked about marriage and how when she graduates from high school she could come live with me. She is a junior right now so she has two more years. I would love it if we could be living with each other right now. In the year that we have been going out we have never had an argument. I enjoy her company so much. Well that is what is on my mind at the moment.
As I am sitting in the computer room at the Castillion, I am thinking of how dull and boring this room is. The walls are a dull gray color and I am all by myself. The chairs are scattered unorderly throughout the room. I am now trying to decide about what I should do for this weekend. I told my parents I was leaving here Thursday night but I now realized I have a sorority function that night and also on Friday. I then thought about leaving Friday afternoon, but that would mean missing the UCLA game on Saturday. I also have a sorority field day on Sunday which is not mandatory, so I think I am just going to go home Friday night and miss the game Saturday and also the field day Sunday. My classes this year are overwhelming. I am so swamped with work that I'm worried it will not all get done. When I leave this weekend, I hope to get some studying done considering the Castillion is one big party 24 hours a day and it is very difficult to sleep here. I wish people would take others views in mind and be a little more considerate instead of knocking on your door drunk beyond belief at 3:00am on a Tuesday night. I am going to eat at Subway as soon as I'm finished with this paper because I'm starving and I can't concentrate very well. I have about 7 pages to read in philosophy tonight and about 25 pages in biology. This is such a big difference than in high school when you didn't even have to pick up a book to make an "A" in an honors class. I know that some of my friends are going to have a tough time here at UT because their parents were so protective over them and now that they are on their own with 6th street so close, they are going to go crazy. Some already have. My roommate here is great. I grew up with her and we get along very well. I am lucky considering there have been several problems with rooming situations in our dorm. The mail situation at this dorm is terrible. My father sent me an overnight package and it didn't arrive until one week later. The food at this dorm is good though. Well my time is now up and I am going to go eat, finally.
The room seems to be nice and cool, much better than the heat outside. I should keep in mind that in thirty minutes or so I will go to a study group. I'm kind of hungry, i don't know what I should get for dinner today. Should I go for sushi or pasta, why am I so indecisive?  I wonder what my friends are doing right now. I hate it when I don't know what to write, or when I have a blank moment. I should remember to check if there are any conflicting exam times with my biology class exam. What is it that makes people tick?  As soon as I find the time to, I'm going to read Lord of The Rings. Maybe i shouldn't get sushi because its too expensive, but its also so good. There goes my indecisiveness again. I wonder which song I should listen to next, what am I in the mood for. This song sounds good, I guess I'll stick with this one for a while until I get bored of it. Is there any other homework left, I hate it whenever I get the feeling that I'm forgetting something but can't seem to find out what. It might be a good idea to do laundry this weekend, but i'll probably get lazy again, must remind myself not to be lazy. Maybe I should call my study partner that I might be late in coming because of thi essay. I'll turn around for a while and see what my roommate is watching on TV. I wonder if the music that I'm playing bugs my roommate or not. The TV show thats on right now seems pretty funny. I've never had Mountain Dew: Code Red before, maybe I should try it sometime, that is as soon as they restock the coke machines in my dorm. What is the point of life? All we do is try to become someone who has a purpose in society, and then in the end it doesn't even matter cause we all eventually die. I wonder what it would be like if I could be immortal. Many seems to think that being immortal is a curse cause you'll go through a lot of pain and it'll never end, I on the other hand find it interesting. I hope I can get a high GPA and keep it, it would really be nice if something academic turned out perfectly the way I wanted it to. I still kind of mad at the chemistry online homework, how could I be so stupid as to make such stupid mistakes. Oh well I can make it up on the next homework. I better do good on the exam, cause this is supposed to be easy for me since I've done it all already.
As I sit here in my dorm room, I am really tired, probably because I stayed up late doing homework last night. My body feels sore but I like to workout so that doesn't really bother me much. I can not really concentrate right now, but that is probably because I just woke up and I still feel half asleep. I feel very stressed out right now because I have a chemistry exam on friday and I need to read to the chapters. I guess I should not have procrastinated, but I do that a lot. My roommate is actually going to class for once, and I am very happy for her. Hurray! I thought this assignment was going to be a lot easier than it is, but I guess not. I am really thirsty right now. My hair has gotten really long, and I am very happy about that because I cut it all off recently but it is growing back. My knee really hurts because I am out in the hot sun, but then go in the freezing classroom, so whenever there is a temperature change my knee aches. My junior year in high school I tore my ACL and had reconstructive surgery, so I have screws in it. My roommate just left and it is so hard to do anything around here because she just keeps talking to me even when it is obvious I am busy. How annoying! And she uses my computer all of the time to talk to her boyfriend and it is my computer. Like when I got on to do this paper, she wrote that she had to go and she was sorry but hopefully I would be quick about it. I wanted to tell her something so bad but we have to live together for a year and I don't want to make it a living hell. I don't know how to approach the situation with out us hating each other, but if this keeps on, I will end up hating her. Living with girls sucks because we are all so petty. I skipped my calculus discussion this morning, but it is my only class on tuesdays and thursdays and it had to be at 8 a. m. in RLM, which is so far and I hate that building! well my time is just about up and I am really excited because I am tired of typing.
So what should I write? I have no clue. Oh, about the survey I did in the  class today. It's pretty good. I mean I like the one on homosexuality. I  am gay, and I know my answers are very biased. To me, I either strongly  agree or strongly disagree. Hey, it's about my identity and the society  I am living in. I have to, sort like, defend for what I believe in,  although I don't have much choices in picking my own identity. What am I  thinking? Why am I so excited about it? I have come out for a rather long  period of time, yet I am still nervous about the whole issue. I am a very  lucky guy, I have not met a lot resistance from the society as a whole. Somehow, I only have the problem finding the right guy. When I was young,  I have those innocent thoughts about love and romance. I have always  believed that there definitely is a right guy for me. Yeah, that was a huge joke. As I become more mature, I become more practical, just like everyone  else. All right, I shall only speak for myself. I know love to me is a  pathetically realistic concept. No more space for imagination. God, why am  I writing this? I had just promised myself to forget about the existence  of love, right after the Jonathan issue. It shall not work for me. I am too pretentious, arrogant, determined, etc. Anyway, moving on to something else. Man, there are 10 more minutes left. The sky is so dark. I wonder what is  out there. I know one thing is that I am not scared of anything. I want to  know, I want to discover, I want to enjoy life beyond it's practical  dimensions. There is the moon. No, I am lying. The moon is not visible at the beginning of the month. Well, I wish I could see it though. I have  heard enough Chinese stories about the angels on the moon. I hope I can live there sometimes. The earth is too complicated, and it is also very cruel. I just want to go somewhere and forget all the problems and relieve all the  stress. I really just want to be with my closest friends for a little while  and leave everything else alone. Oh, not possible. Why am I writing this. I swear to God that I have never been so senseless before. My fingers are  typing things which my mind cannot direct. Weird, I need help. Maybe this  is the point of this assignment, to get lost and throw away the conscious. Ok, 2 more minutes. What am I going to do this weekend? How about 6th  street. I really like Paradox. The music is good and so is the place. Yep, that's it. Friday night hanging out with pals. Cool. Maybe I can meet some cute guys. Oh, come on, my brain is out. My roommate is home. Finally. I gotta go, time is up, my fingers are little tired. Bye.
There is alwaysa thought in out mind, or is there? Do we only think when we are conciously aware of it, or do we think all the time? I ask myself a lot of stange question all the time. I hear the sound of a tennis match on the television. I wonder what the people at the tennis match are thinking? They are watching the game, but are they conciously thinking about it? I am sitting in my friend's dorm room, typing on her computer while she sits watching tennis, and doing calculus. I bet she is too distracted by tennis to actually "do" her homework. That's ok. I am doing well at tuning it out, but then again, I don't really like tennis! I wonder how many people actually like tennis? I really have to use the restroom!I know that came out of no where, but I was thinking about it. You know that if you order things on line, if it's not in Texas, well you have to pay S/H, but if you order a lot it can really save you money. I wish I made more money. I still don't know weather I should quit my current, cozy job, for a new strange one that pays more money? I have established a history, and many friendships at my current job, so why should I leave? But at the same time more money would help me out in the long run. or would I just spend more? That's is what our world seems to be all about making money, and for some, making the MOST money. I don't want to get caught up in the rat race of making money, but sometimes I am afraid that I already have. I should really be more conservative with my money so that I won't worry about having enough. I know that it's a vicious cycle. I wonder, will anyone actually read this? sorry, I ask many questions, I know that they will ever be answered, but I ask anyway. When will we find the answers? Are the answers to many of lifes questions obtainable, or are we never to know?  I think one day we will know these answeres, and we will say, "Wow, the answers were right in front of me the whole time!"  Sometimes I think that we make things too complicated! We should relax and let the answes come to us! That's what many artists have to do to become inspired, if they think to hard, then they can't think of anything! Kind of crazy hu? Well I think that this enough thought for today, have a great day!!
Well, my first thought is that I don't quite understand this activity. I'm not sure if you want me to tell you my thoughts, as in a journal, or just irrevelant thoughts that pop into my head as I type, therefore I'll just write a journal entry. Well, right now I'm mad at my friend because she seems to be choosing her boyfriend over me to hang out with, so I guess that would make me jealous. And it doesn't help the fact that she and her boyfriend are the only two people at UT that I know. Another feeling that I'm experiencing is sadness and homesickness. I just talked to my best friend, who is attending the University of North Texas, and she was describing to me how much fun she is having and how many friends she is making-this makes me sad because I know that she is having more fun than I am. I think jealousy has a little to do with that also. I talk to my parents almost every day, and they describe their everyday life to me, and I feel left out almost, because I can't be there with them. I miss the normalcy of home. I miss waking up in the morning and knowing who my friends are, and what to expect in my classes. I know that things will change, I'm just really anxious for that to happen. Sometimes I doubt if I made the right decision by coming to UT. Would things be different if I were at UNT with my best friend?  I know things would be better. I was always afraid that if I went to UNT, my best friend would think that I was going there only because I couldn't make friends anywhere else. I only decided to come here to UT because they have an outstanding business department, and I plan to major in Management Information Systems(MIS). I'm a little overwhelmed right now because it seems like there is so much to do. In every single class so much is expected of you. It will just take a little time to get used to everything. I don't adapt well to change-I'm very much a habitual person.