ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
I feel a little tired. It is cold in here. Maybe I'm tired because its cold in here. Why a writing this paper?  Am I going to be judged on what kind of person  I am by these rambling thoughts that I type down. I'm still mad that I lost my remote control to my reciever on the move up here. It will probably cost around  30 dollars to get a new one. You know I found it impossible to clear your mind of all thought, because to be able to do this you have to be thinking to remind yourself your not supposed to be thinking. Dad's birthday is this weekend. Probably going to go see him. I wonder how the new restraunt is doing. I wonder how Mark likes running it. I'm getting kind of hungry. To bad there is nothing to eat though. Man I need some money. Maybe I'll get a job working on my days off so that I can have enough money to eat. I still need to read chapter 2 in my psychology book. Its a pretty cool book I like the qoutes by the different people. This computer is under 1. 5 tons I would say. Man I need to get out of the house. All I do everyday go to class come home eat study watch tv go to sleep. And then the next day get up clean the place up eat study watch tv study shower well I guess I shower the day before two and then go to sleep. UT is very different. I had 40 people in my senior class and everybody was extremly friendly. Here everbody is different. Maybe they weren't raised the same as me to be polite to everybody. That alright. I'm sure I'll find some friends that have the same views as me. Whats the deal with all my classes talking about how depressed you are supposed to get. Its kinda like they are telling you that if you don't become depressed then you arent normal. Maybe I will, just to be like everyone else. Nah. Maybe I should start lifting weights again or swim. Man this is weird. I keep thinking in the back of my head that this is supposed to be stream of concious but for some reason I keep trying to make sense on way I saying. Damn that really scared me the dang air conditioner just made a helluva loud noise. That reminds me of the questionare that I had to fill out for the experimental research for this class. Are you afraid of spiders do you constantly look for spiders do you dream of spiders thats crazy. Hey that reminds me of Saturday Night Live. Thats Crazy. That pretty funny. Mispelled thats. Oh well. One minute left tick tock tick tock  tick tock oh no time has stopped 2:34 AM that is what it says why is it when you notice time it goes by so much slower ding ding 2:35 our time here is done.
I don't know what to write about really and I have a bunch of other things on my mind. I haven't eaten breakfast yet and I'm pretty hungry, but I fear that if I don't do this now I might never get around to doing it. the assignment doesn't seem to be that difficult, but sometimes I have trouble thinking of things to say. I'm not going to my calculus study session because I think it will mainly be review of what I have already learned in high school. my roommates friend Henry just called and somewhat interrupted my thoughts. I don't think my roommate likes Henry very much but I don't know that for sure. he always calls when my roommate isn't here which to me is a signal that they're not really in sync. when I feel most confident about my relationships with others is generally when we're in sync with each other. I think that the more time you spend with a person the more you become somehow linked to that person. I've been waiting to read a book for some time now and my friend just finished and gave it to me. I think everyone should read Ain't Nobody's Business If You Do: the absurdity of consensual crimes in our free country by peter mcwilliams. not only is it a very controversial book, but it is also humorous and very informative and educational. Peter McWilliams has AIDS, cancer, and was using marijuana for medicinal purposes under California state law, but was arrested and thrown in jail. I agree with mcwilliams 100% about consensual crime being ridiculous and I think it's wrong that he's in jail now. I got fined $15 recently for parking in lot A67 next to Jester. the parking and traffic administration expects me to park on the other side of red river, or better yet i35. I think this is stupid and am very upset with this,  I plan on writing a letter of complaint to David kapalko. my parents finally came to their senses and bought me a computer for school. that is one of the main reasons I am able to do this assignment now. I didn't feel comfortable writing these kind of personal thoughts in a computer lab full of other people. my parents got a good computer for a low price and now I can work from my dorm room, so I think everyone is satisfied. I just wonder if having a computer will be another hindrance to meeting new people especially girls. not that there aren't plenty of girls that use computers, but I don't really get out enough as it is. I know it's up to me to make the effort but I almost feel trapped in a situation where I don't meet enough girls or hang around them enough.
I am so stressed out right now with all these school stuff. Today I was so frustrated with my course schedule because I needed a fine arts credit. At the beginning, I signed up for art history, but I just found out that the class didn't work out for me. I didn't want something that hard to deal with since I am not even majoring in art. Therefore, I decided to try the music department. I called in, and the lady who worked at the office told me that the music appreciation class was still opened. She told me to go all the way to the building MRH just to fill out the green card in order to add the class. So, I decided to drop my art history class right away. In the afternoon, I rushed over there. By the time when I got there, one of the lady told me that I needed to talk to the professor first before I could fill out the green card. Plus, the time of the class she offered me interfered with my original schedule. I was so upset about this when I left the building because I really needed one more class in order to be fill up my hours. When I got back to my dorm, I immediately called my college of education for help. The guy told me to go to see the advisors in the next morning. He also told me not to worry too much today about it. I knew I shouldn't drop my art history class that quickly. I should have waited to see if I could be added to another class. Right now, I consider to take piano as my fine arts credit during the next semester because I have a little knowledge with piano but I am required to sign up on the waiting list first. The class can only fill up 15 students. Instead of taking the fine art class in this semester, I decided to take chinese instead. Besides, I need a foreign language credit. Tomorrow I will need to see that professor to see if I am allowed to be in that class. Hopefully, I can. I have been worried about this over the whole day. I wish everything can work out fine tomorrow.
I thinkIdon't know what towritebutby thinking that i actually have womethingtowrite. in is hot and i am hungry. The lights on the computer keyboard are bright. I wish i could type faster so that I could keep up with my thoughts. oh how am i ever going to type for twenty minutes straight. I wonder why I spelt out 20. i wonder if my laundry willbe done soon. my nose itches . i want to eat pizza pretty soon. i hope this time goes by quick because iam real hungry. What all homework do i have to do. Roman Civ i need to read. I need to clean and do all of my laundry. I need to call my neighbors son so that i can get help in astronomy. I wish the other computer was not so loud because the word womp game is annoying. oh my gosh i am only a quarter of the way done. the fan sure does feel good when it finally hits on me. i need to go play some pool. speaking of pool going swimming sure would feel good right about now. my truck is dirty and i need to put some gas in it. thats a neat gold plaque with a golf ball on it. I can see the other side of the room through the reflection. Oh i think my butt is going numb. WHy is the TV on CNBC all theat is on it is the stocks going across the bottom. why does the gateway box have a cow pattern on it. I wonder where that business card is from. I might watch a beautiful mind tonight i see the dvd case beside me. oh i am getting tired of doing this. My backspace key is the most used key on my computer. I can't typew very well so i am using this time to practice on my typing as well as doing my homework. the mouse pad is from centuryinter. net and century telephone. i wonder how many staples can fit in that stapler. my neck is starting to hurt it feels better now since i popped it. i wonder why people like leather so much. my knee is hurting. thereis some sort of law exam book beside me of the desk. i wonder what that wooden block over there is used for it lokks like some sort of picture frame or maby a name plaque. oh i am tired good i only have 3. 5 minutes left to type. i wonder if chris is going to call me and let me know if his business is going yet. I know the laundry bags are ready. i like the logo its a hanger with lines to the right of it like its moving really fast. and says campus exppress laundry service or something like that. i don't know if iu want pizza i have had double daves the last couple of days i don't know what sounds good though ooow i know chick fil a yes thats what i want i feel really hungry now only 10 more seconds 5 4 3 2 1 no i think i'll quit
Well what do I want to say I guess I should start by being pissed off that the girl I'm dating didn't call me last night after she said she would. we aren't committed or anything it just aggravates me when someone goes back on their word. well my brother's in town for the first time to see me we went to a good party last night, actually it was totally lame and it sucked that it was his first u. t. party. tonight will be so much better though cause the party tonight will be cool. phi Kappa Psi is where it's at. right now notre dame is barely beating purdue even though it's a two point game n. d. should run away. college has been cool so far and I like the fact that I automatically get credit for this assignment by just writing my thought down. that's pretty cool. my hardest class is my calculus class it's totally reeming me. i've never had a tutor before but he's my new best friend now. damn it's hot in here. the cafeteria should open right about now. i hope they have good food today lately they've be lacking the good food department. my roomate just doesn't understand. I really do believe he and I are do a good fist fight before it's all over. actually it won't be a good fight because I'll kill him. he's so loud and thinks that just because we're roommates we're automatically buddies for life. i think we could be friends maybe even good friends if he could. we'll how I don't know cause he gets on my nerves so much. oh well we're two different people from two different background. kid rock is awesome. especially on the mtv video awards. it's really hard to writes and sing at the same time. but I guess I can do that considering the fact that there aren't any wrong answers and I can write anything. i don't really miss home that much. maybe my family a little but austin is so cool. i just hope I can keep my grades up so I can stay in the fraternity. and I hope I have enough money to pay for all the dues. well my  time is almost up and I hungry as can be so I guess I'll go now. ?
We got a new couch today in our dorm room, I think that I like it but it has a kind of weird smell to it. I put some febreeze on it , I mean what can you expect from a 10 dollar garage sell couch. I am becoming kind of concerned about the study habits that I am developing here in Austin. It seems that every day I do nothing and at night I realize that I have all this work to do and that I have not actually done any of it. I stay up late doing work and don't get enough sleep. So all day I feel tired. I wish that I had not ate so much tody. My stomach is seriously hurting me. I think that since I have come to Austin I am still eating a lot but I have stopped all physical activity. I really should go to the gym or go running or atleast get some of the guys around here to go play some basketball or something. I feel realy guilty right now, I was supposwd to go to churh tonite at 10, but I didn't get back from eating out with my friends until around 11. My mom called me after I had got in and I told her that I had gone at ten and that I was just getting back. I don't feel so bad about lying as I really do about not going. I consider myself to be afairly devote Catholic, this is the first time that I can remember not going to church on a sunday. I tried to remember, I was sure that I had missed atleast once before, but I thought about it for along time and this is the first time in forever that I have not been on a sunday. I'm thinking right now how easier it would be to write this if my roomate and his girlfriend were not here. I keep feeling like they are reading what I am writing, and I think that I am right, those bastards, just kiddin they are both reallygood friends. They just called me out on calling them bastards, they thought it was kind of funny. They just put on mtv, man I hate the Backstreet boys. And that would be 20 minutes.
This assignment is kind of hard. I'm not used to just writing doen wat comes to me. I'm sitting here trying to write every thought in my head but my mind seems to go blank when  I don't want it to and runs a million miles a minute when I;m trying to pay attention in class. I should be in Clarksville with friends a beer and bbq. I need to go skate more. School is to time consuming. I don;t even Know if I really want to do it. The work is frustrating. I don;t mind going to class but I hate all the outside reading and homework. It's not even that I dislike reading I just want to read what I want to read not some course related book. The Story of B is one of the most intriguing books that I have ever read and I havent even gotten through 1/4 of it yet. Maybe I like it so much because of the character. He's not sure of many things and that's exactly how I feel. I want to be liked but at the same time I hate contact with most people. I think most people arent worth talking to. Theyre dumb, they have nothing to say. ITs pointless. People suck. Writng this out is strange, these are things I should keep to myself because I don't even know if I truly believe what I'm saying or if I;'m just getting angry again. I do get angry to much. maybe I should quit smoking. I know I should but its hard. I had no problem on the trip but that was because I couldnt get any I just can't do it around the ville, we smoke to much for sure, throwing money away but fuck money I sit here and stress on how much money I take out of my savings and then in the same instant say to myself I don't give a fuck about money fuck money I should have been born a long time ago when you provided for yourself and if you couldnt hunt of fish then you were in trouble fuck vegetarians self righteous think that because they don't eat meat they are somehow above me fuck that If we didnt eat meat id die I need to stop worrying about girls so much to I always say I don't give a fuck  whether I'm seeing anyone or not but I'm always thinking about girls typical I need to get out on my own and figure all these things out I should not worry so much but I do at least I have music and my boys and skateboarding who cares I don't go out as much I still love it just as much at least I think I still do but I can definitely see myself drifting away its probably because I smoke to much that shit kills you, your energy and your drive yet I love it so much and I can't quit obviously this is a big thing to me because I'm always stressing on it and fuck stress wwhereever it comes from I wish I could destroy stress does nothing except cause problems I try to be stress free but its impossible especially with school always looming over how much do I reaaly want to go to school I don't know I know I could go and make a living without school and maybe I shoul because I'm tired of getting all this "knowledge" that isn't applicable to anytihng outside of ut of course the shit is expanding my mind and view of the world right fuck that I live in texas and I don't really care about to many other places why should I
I feel like I'm getting behind in my classes even though I got off to a good start. I'm upset that my mom is quitting her job. The reason seems not good enough after what we went through last time she quit her job. Sometimes I feel like she if making things up or exagerating things. But I feel bad that I didn't believe her when she told me these things. It really upset me last night and when I'm upset and can't do much but mope. I try to stay happy because then I can stay focused on what I have to do, like study. I hate typing on the computer because my contacts get blurry when I stare at a computer screen. Then it makes me tired for the rest of the day. I have to go to band tonight which is fun but takes up my whole evening. I wish I hadn't eaten so much for lunch. I'm mad that my powe is out so I can't do my video exercises. It's gong to be  along week. I have a party after the game next week and I'm going to be really tired to go to a party. I'm a little nervous about that. tomorrow I have to go to HEB and get some cash. That will take a long time. I hope I can get a lot of reading in tomorrow. I find it hard to read during the day. I read better at night but then I end of staying up late and I'm so tired in the mornign. At least I don't live at home anymore. i love that picure on the wall. It so peaceful but not too peaceful. it's really pretty. I slept too long today. At least I can get to my 3:00 class this time. I hate to miss class but it's so easy to when your tired. I hate the seats in the auditorium , it makes me feel claustrophobic. I want to get there early to get a better seat, maybe on the outside. i'm glad I foudn this computer lab now I don't have to go to the UGL to use the computer. I want to go to Mozart's tomorrow nigh. I hpoe Jill wants to go. I like to get coffee there and study. I'm gald I remembered to go this assignment. I always seem to forget to do assignments on the computer or over e-mail. it doesn't seem natural. I missed a lot of assignments last year in Spanish that we had to do on the computer. I really like Sapanish, it's juast hard to kkep up with. i thisnk my hands are getting tired. I wish my hadns weren't so veiny. I like the way iMacs look but theyare kind of big. I can't' wait to get laser surgery on my eyes so I don't have to wear contacts or glasses.
Today was very interesting. So much to do, though, with so little time. Study, work, and just living has become harder than expected. I miss the comfort zone I enjoyed while living at home. Oh, home, what a distant thought that now seems to be. I miss my parents, but I don't really miss my sisters. Yes, I miss my Mom's cooking. More importantly, however, I miss her reassurance and soothing smile every day. The daily smile is a luxury I no longer enjoy. My roommate hardly every smiles and when he does it's far from comforting. I guess a big part of me is homesick. This is such a large school with so many people, I feel overwhelmed. It is especially hard living off campus and not having the ability to be in an environment where you meet new people on a daily basis. Here at the apartment, everyone keeps to themselves. They've already made friends with people during the freshman year or live with their best friends. I, however, am not that lucky. I don't really know too many people and I didn't even know my roommate before I moved here. But, I have this thought that some beautiful, charming young lady will soon save me from this pit of despair. I think I'm at a point in my life where love needs to prosper. I've never been one for steady, or healthy, relationships but the loneliness I'm currently enduring makes a girlfriend seem very tempting. Love is, after all, what makes the world go around or is it? I've been so independent and so bottled up for so long, I don't know whether this cold heart can be warmed up for love and I surely don't want to break anyone's heart. I've done enough of that and learned my lesson a long time ago. There's just so much beauty in this world. I find myself drifting off almost hourly with the vision of some really hot girl. I lived in a town that might have had ten goodlooking girls, so you can imagine how surprised I've been walking the UT campus. Nothing could have possibly prepared me for the beauty littered around the campus and Austin as well. There are so many girls and so few guys; it hardly seems fair. But I'm in no way complaining. It's like I'm the guy in American Beauty whose heart aches because it sees so much beauty around it. That's me in a nutshell. I see all these gorgeous girls walking around and I freeze. I don't know what to do because I've never been in a situation quite like this. Tomorrow is a new day and the future is bright. I find myself waiting for some girl to fall helplessly into my lap, but I need to wake up and face reality. If I want to find a great girl I need to initiate conversation and go from there. Wish me luck!
okay well here goes nothin' I guess so whats the big deal about all this anyway all I was told was about how hard it ws going to be and so far its been a boat ride we used to play dominoes back in high school in my theatre class and I was the only white kid it was kind of fun actually they all taught me how to play "bones" a boat ride was when all the dots on the end dominoes added up two twenty boat ride and so on well its great so  far mom party party party class party party party sleep class party that's my schedule why does this girl keep taking us so seriously I'm so frustr. with her right now oh well sobeit and so on so how much tim e . damn fifteen minutes left what else would you,like to know sir. maam. it whatever is this here to entertain you or for you to. nevermind well here we are just me and you pizza sounds good Kilgore Trout I need to finish that book great book so much crap noone sees the genius and so on the severity of any problem is measured by the attainability of its solution-me yeah psych class 400 people huh and not a damn one is anyhting like me maybe one okay two or three but thas all jammed my finger it hurts to type falling down the stairs at my dads my party drunk 4 in the morningjammed my shoulder and finger price to pay for a good time huh? well answer me nevermind should I tell her what I'm thinking maybe not I ve got plenty of time plenty of time Marty Robbins he used to sing Marty Robbins no more I could not as good as real thing greatt album best of all time U2 crowding my space!!!! okay well are going to give it back for some reason I don't miss it at all I guess I'm hungry griffin liz maybe other girl one of these things is not like the other hot in here workstastion blah blah cuts handsneed new band for my wtch planner aol disk I tired band I wish theyd make it big like daisy I wish daisy'd make it bigger shopping no wait witherspoon. should I go to the concert or the game. the music or the sport that is the question Prague. its all about the show but who know s what show will blow through a town that goes. never again will I write a poem short story etc. maybe a sports article when I'm old and grey and have no teeth and a dog named ralph with my wife having passed away thrre years earlier in my newly finished rocking chair that my grandchildren made for me and the cushion for my arthritic back. orthopedic shoes pipe in hand and caxcer in mouth calling ralph to my feet watching reruns of the X-files praying to God that one of my kids would call to hear a voice or that ralph could talk if that's his name cause wont remember a thing but that's okay because the one thing I will remember is Marty Robbins and so on times up