I am very tired. Actually I am not sure if I am tired or if I am just wanting to be tired. It almost seems strange but being tired is almost like a way out, or my ticket away from always having to be around people. I ma usually considered the very social one, whether it is with my friends or my family, but I have always been the one that should be so happy. I love country music. I remember that I used to listen to it all of the time when I was a freshman in high school. I think that I might have listened to it then because all of my new friends did and I wanted to be exactly like them. I also remember that Barron used to listen to it. I guess it made me feel cooler when I could sing along to the songs in the car with everyone else. College is so weird and I miss my Mom and Dad so much. I got to see Mom today and it was so great, and now I really want to cry. I wanted to cry when she left, and now that she is gone I want to cry even more. I am not going to cry though because if someone walked in here then it would take forever and they would never leave because they think that they have to, and that they can somehow make me feel better and stop missing my parents. Lizzie looked so cute today. She is getting older way too fast. Kind of reminds me of myself. She has a really bad temper though and I think that she got it from my mom. She is so damn smart though. I miss having that kid say weird things all of the time. Making me laugh. I have had really weird dreams lately. I think that Travis must be really tired I wonder if he really only does like me that much when he is drunk. I have words sometimes. Sometimes I just really hate everything. I miss Jenna being able to tell me to go to sleep and everything would be better the next day in high school. Jenna has a new best friend now. Seems like everyone always has a very best, closest friend and I never really have just one. I am usually best friends with the guys. I guess that Jenna and I used to be inseparable very best friends, but being in San Antonio will really tear two people apart. I really don't want to read my psychology. I want to read Harry Potter. I think that I almost make myself want to read because my mom loves it so much. I love my mom, and I miss going to camp. I need to stop missing things and take some of my advice to heart. I know what is right and wrong and I know the harsh facts of things coming and going in life. I wonder if the sophomore girls had fun this weekend while they were in Austin. I think that that is pretty silly that they came up here for a whole weekend as a birthday party when they can't even go out, except to maybe like a movie. I wonder if Austin is really crazy about Kyle and I wonder if Brad has ever thought about getting with or dating Rachel Perry. I miss high school. I miss my megaphone and my big blue bronco and being able to want to go to college. Last night I had really good margaritas. They would have been so much better if the were frozen. I want to meet Vince Gill. I hope that someday King sings to me. I want to date King. Not just get with him but date him. I always like one boy and try to date him and end up dating his best friend, but still wishing that I could date the other one. I wonder if King's girlfriend is really cute. Julie is here. She is so much fun, she reminds me of Jill Clower but I seriously think that she is so much nicer than Jill Clower could have ever been. I really don't want to do this stupid assignment. I don't want to do this anymore. I could totally stop and come back and no one would ever know, but I am sure that there is some kind of point or something and I wonder if anyone is really going to ever read this I wonder how George Magel is doing. That boy never really changed since 6th grade. There are two ways to write 6th on this computer. I had so much fun walking on sixth street the other night with Tim. It would be really cool if he would call me. I really was looking forward to coming to college and making a best friend that would be in my wedding and move to New York with me for no reason, and do fun things like shop for fruit and flowers and watch old movies. I don't think that I have found my real best friend yet. I wonder if people really think that you only have one mate out there waiting for you. I wonder if that is true. No one could ever prove that. The only person who knows things like that is God. My Dad is really close to God. I really do think that the closer you are to God the better your life is. You may not be famous, or always have the cutest clothes, but you will know what and who you love and what is important to you, and those few, simple things that are important will work out perfectly, they way God wants. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and things will never go wrong. I wish that I could sing. That would be so cool. I love to dance also, and I can't wait to try out for pom squad. I love being in front of everyone. I wonder how Lizzie learned to work computers. That is a weird kid. I am really bad at computers, you can ask Mrs. Allen about that one. Mrs. Allen would love Lizzie. She is so computer and gets everything done, and understand computers. What she doesn't understand she can figure out also. Jennifer Welch is really nice but I hate the fact that she is so pretty. I miss Sarah. I wish that I could decorate a room and rationalize as well as her. Lately I have not really been so tired. I have been running on about 3 to 5 hours of sleep a night, but it has been okay. I really think that I could look a lot better if I had been running and sleeping more. I think that in a while I am going to go jogging outside, but I better do it before it gets dark Inbox users: Get your email on your mobile phone Powered by InterMail from Software. comNew! Help Add URL Advertise on Excite Jobs@Excite Press Releases Copyright (c) 2000 At Home Corporation. All rights reserved. Excite, @Home, the Excite logo and the @Home logo are service marksor registered service marks ofAt Home Corporation in the United States and other countries. Disclaimer and Privacy Statement