ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
you would think that by now there would be no pain. ha. also on my mind is the extensive amount of homework that I have to do this evening. I am also very hungry. what am I going to eat? double-daves sounds good. or what about Chinese? god my teeth hurt. I should've grabbed the Advil when leaving the house this morning. Bummer. I would hate to spend another 5 dollars on another bottle but I don't know if I can go all day without it. I am also concerned with the fact that I just did an hour of pretesting stuff and its not connecting with the server. that could be a problem. ill have to ask about that today in class. it did take almost as hour. I would hate for that to be wasted time. this paper I have to write this evening is really stressing me out. john Winthrop and the Puritan dilemma. what a dilemma. actually it is rather interesting the way people thought back in that day. things have certainly changed. gross- I just rubbed my tongue back to that far forbidden corner in my mouth and felt the stitches. ouch. this probing throb is driving me bananas. obviously. I keep losing my train of thought. how will I ever be able to concentrate on john Winthrop. ill have to wait until I get home and pop a few Advil. or a few hundred as I am feeling right now. just kidding. anyway another thing stressing me out is the fact that my car is in the shop again. I dropped it off this morning and its almost as if my life is in someone else's hands. at least my checking account is. ha, what checking account is more like it. ouch. my freaking teeth. I am going to have to break down and buy some more Advil. that sucks. gosh it's almost 2:00 already. where does the time go? oh yea that pretesting thing and then trying to submit it. I have that it's not lost. maybe I should try and check somehow to see if I can send it through now. well its been twenty minutes. its time to go and get some Advil and relieve my suffering. Eckerd's is probably the least expensive. it kills me that I have to buy more of that. pain medication is not cheap. anyway enough bitching! lets go over to the pretesting website again.
Wow, those life savers look really good. hot pockets remind me of Austin powers that's a funny movie. I can't wait to go home. I miss a bunch of my friends there and homecoming will be a ton of fun. hey that guy was in the wonder years. I wish tatiana and I could talk about serious topics for once all we do is jokingly insult each other. Zoo keepers?? we can't be zoo keepers, we have to be a famous hollywood couple. The retreat this weekend is going to be so fun and then we'll get to watch the football game! I hope I'll be able to get some studying done. I really need to do better in Spanish, I'm not doing too well in there. I wonder how my campers are doing. Two of them are online right now. Lunch should be pretty fun today. I'm glad classes are finally over, for this week at least. That guy looks really funny with that blue towel around his head. Where are all those loud guys in our hallway. Saturday Night Live used to be such a funny showwhat happened to it?? Chris Farley was one of the funniest guys around. Tom Arnold was in True Liesthat was a GREAT movie.
ok. I've finally made it here! you know, I had always thought that once I got to college, the stressful life I once knew back in my home town of Conroe would no longer exist. well, I was so terribly wrong! however, though I am completely busy every second of every day, it's been a blast! yesterday for example: I woke up bright and early at 6:30, had class from 910 and 1011, came back to my beautifully decorated dorm in Jester west and tried for like an hour to get to this page which I later found out was down at the time, then, briskly ran to my philosophy class which lasted from 12, after which I tanned, went back home again to brush my teeth and wash my face before my psy. class (yours!) from 3305. once class was over, my friend johnna and I proceeded to take the long hike back to jester in the rain! (yay!) there, I ate my first meal of the day pot roast! mmmmm. next, I had to walk all the way over to my parking spot on trinity where because I needed to get some clothes my dad brought down for my some time last week that have just been sitting in the trunk of my car getting all wrinkled and nasty. rather than walk back with two armfulls of clothes, I decided to drive back. after the laundry was hanging safely in my tiny closet, I took it upon myself to fight the 630 Austin traffic over to my grandparents house off of Lamar where I was instructed all week by my mother to take my car so it could get a new inspection sticker. while in traffic, I happened to notice that my sticker would not be out of date until November! this was particularly angering to me because tonight from 912 or so, I was to attend a mixer with my pledge sisters and the pledge members of sigma ki and instead of having just a few moments to myself before I had to take another shower and proceed to get ready, I was cooling my heels in a traffic jam for a car inspection sticker that wasn't necessary at the time. however, once at the grandparents house, I did stock up on some much needed food and beverage products. now, I am finally back and I have all of 10 minutes to sit on my floor, watch a little tv and eat some Reesesmini cup. after that, I quickly got ready for the nights planned activity. the party actually turned out to be pretty fun except for the fact the Austin police made two appearances! luckily, neither me or any of my sisters had formal charges brought against them. ok enough of that. only about 6 minutes left and I still have so much to say! let's talk about the future I want to live in a loft apartment in new York city with huge, towering white walls, bay windows, and blackandwhite checkered tile in the kitchen. I hopefully will be an established poet. also, I would like to have a successful career as a professional buyer. now, this job would be just too great for me all day long, I would be able to shop! my clientele would range from movie stars to the rich who haven't the time, or fashion sense, to dress and style themselves. ah! my time here is up! thank you and I hope you have enjoyed the show:)and remember kids: carpe' diem!
What am I thinking of right now?  I am thinking of how different my life now is. it is hard to believe that almost 3 weeks ago I left the city to which I have known as home my entire life <houston> and moved to austin by myself, with really no friends, no family and no place to really call home here. But everyone loves austin, right, and I am really lucky to be here, right?  I don't know but all I know is that I hope I made the right choice, my parents and friends, and family members really miss me and I miss them as well. I just really feel so lonely up here, I mean all I really do is study and watch television, not really being very social with that many people. And the weird thing is I am a very social person-- I mean in houston I had I think seven very clost friends, and now I have probably five okay friends that live in the same city as me, and who am I talking to when I am on the phone--my friends from houston, NOT austin. I think I am just in a period of adjustment right now, or at least I think and hope that I am. please do not let my college experience turn into this--my worst dream. why is it so hard for me to move on and make new best friends, it is not like I would forget about my friends from houston, I could be close to both sets of friends, and why is it that no people are out of there way friendly here, is it me?  no it cannot be me, that is what I always seem to tell myself, that it is not me. Gosh, I feel like I am having a conversation with myself right now, or that this an entry in my diary or journal or something!  But this is truly how I feel at this very moment in time---scared, alone, and wishing that I were somewhere else. I am really not trying to whine or anything, but how am I supposed to feel?  I am alone in a city, with nobody close, with whom I can communicate with. And these are supposed to be the best years of our lives, right?  Just checking because I plan to hold whoever first said it on that. Other than that, everything is going great, I am keeping up with my classwork, studying every night, with no disturbances. WHY?  because I have no friends up here, I realize that I am complaining an awful lot and really exaggerating when I say I have no friends. But like I said earlier:  I am a very social person, and when I do not have caring people around me, I feel left out. And that just about ends the twenty minutes, I guess it's on to the next one---and Yes, it does feel good to get this out in the open.
Life as a college student is not quite like how I had expected. When I was a senior in high school, I thought I was going to be a studious student having a lot fun. But two weeks into college and I'm already slacking off. Most freshman who start off college don't really know what's going on, but I guess you can say that I had an early start. This was because my older sister, Lisa, also attends UT. With this factor, I quickly started to hang out with my sisters friends and began slacking off. So what I am saying is that, if I didn't have someone that knew what was up, than I would probably be having an easier time staying on track. Maybe its just me, but that is how I feel. But I am having a lot of fun, I guess you can say. I met a few people from orientation. They are the people that I am usually with. But I am having a hard time making friends in my classes. It might be because I'm always late to class and I never get a chance to settle down before class starts, probably. Well, I'm hoping to make some really good friends here. Isn't there a saying that a person makes most of their "life long" friends in college? I don't know. I don't even know why I am talking about my personal life for a homework assignment. I don't know if I am even doing it correctly. I guess that I will find out when I get my grade for it. Its been fourteen minutes and I am already running out of things to say. Okay, I'm going to return to what I was talking about in the beginning, SCHOOL life. I really feel that I need to get myself prioritized. I need to catch up with all my work and get ready for my up coming tests. I really don't know what else to write and I think this is about 20 minutes, so that it.
Right now I just sat down to type this psychology paper. This is the first time I have ever typed a paper like this before, with constant writing. I am used to gathering my thoughts, thinking before I speak but now I am writing whatever pops into my mind. I am thinking about how much this different from something I would do in high school; being able to submit a paper via the internet that is amazing. I am hearing the faint sound of the Houston Astros baseball game in the background, I love baseball so much, this the pennant races are incredible. Hopefully I will  get to broadcast the game I love in the future. Well I have an hour until its time to go to work, its nice that the clock is ticking down on my first major writing assignment of college. Astros, I think still losing 3-2 someone just flied out. I'm enjoying the fact that I am able to do this from my own computer, god I would hate to live in a dorm. Sharing and small places are no fun for me. Looking forward to this weekend, big barbecue put on by my friend Mike; we always have legendary times at those. Its just starting to sink in now as I hear God Bless America in the background that today is September 11. It's hard to believe that our country was attacked only two years ago, it seems at least to me that it happened an eternity ago. I really don't agree with what is going on in our country right now, by the way. The wind is blowing pretty good outside right now, for some reason I have not opened the blinds in the house yet. I get really lazy when I am at home. Anyway, this a little easier than I thought it would be. It has really gotten me thinking. I mean how often do we really pay attention to what we are thinking, and are we thinking about something all the time? Consciously? Well I think we got our lead off man on in the 8th we are still down 3-2, I really hope we don't lose to Milwaukee. Man I don't want to go to work today, although 4-9:30 is not that bad, better than 12-9:30. I feel like I am writing in a journal more than doing a project, that is cool that there is actually a clock at the top of the page. Big props to the person who set that up. I was actually considering putting a stopwatch next to me for this assignment, but I quickly realized that was not necessary. I just found out I have discussion section class for geography. I don't get that if you understand the material why do you need a discussion section? I don't get what that is all about, is it for the TA's to feel important or something? Must be a college thing, I guess. It seems like a lot of this stuff is over my head right now. I just quickly glanced at the clock and saw that I have about a minute left. I hope I did alright on this, I mean I wrote what came into my head and luckily avoided any sick and twisted thoughts. P. S (I submitted the paper erroneously earlier today under the wrong class code. My class code is 316 not 315)
Oh damn!  Wednesday was awesome! please give me some water. My  friends are funny and so is this movie the brain is really cool with all its disorders  and shit for the love my friends are so sarcastic but I love it and I do it too damn I  need to stop smoking I'm like a chimney they joke about killing themselves which  is really funny because  i9 no they're joking I'm normally a good writer damn sorry. the  critic is awesome and my professor is so fucking funny I lived in midland too for  awhile cool I'm a psychology major I need gum can I have some. Sweet I got some. I'm not suicidal or anything so don't worry I just sneezed and it hurt I hope I don't  wake up my roommate this late I'm tired it seems like all my professors smoke weed. tight! anyways puppies hahahaha anyway I miss my dog and my dead cat I have  ocd not surprising I think its genetic but my mom wont admit it and I just realized  how much I love them because I could imagine them at my age and relate I almost  feel sorry for being so hard on them almost hahahaha I'm hungry I'm good at  Spanish TACO C sweet! please help me! just joking again. god damn this is so  fucking long oohh sexual stimulation like the rat that was so funny the astros suck  dave chappelle rox ooooowwwww shit! that hurt. whatever. the simpsons sweet  ummm sleep balh blah balh blah blah I can't think my friends are heavy wow I miss  my friend in the air force he says it sux : ( like that insert I like my linguistics class  this is all bullshit and so is life. why are we here? oohh too cliché sorry I'm im I'm im  I'm   I'm im I'm im I'm whatever "because this is my united states of whatever. I don't mind  bush or Kerry. they're both right. but I don't see why shit I forgot oh people in Austin  are so liberal to the point of offense. maybe I'm blind (not literally) sigh puke? no  pee oh. I love the graduate and Donnie darko is my favorite movie ever but I  actually saw it when it first came out I like I like I like I like maybe its a hotel sorry  took a brake oh I think I can actually relate a lot to the movie because my family is  just like that children with problems with drugs (psychiatric or other) in a wealthy  family with the money craved superficial mom and many marriages on either side  and divorce with children all over the place and step dad lawyer asshole. did good  in school mental problems family support of prescription drugs grandmother and
WELL, I'M FINALLY DOING MY HOMEWORK. THATS GOOD SO FAR. I REALY LIKE THIS PSYCHOLOGY CLASS. MY PROFESSOR IS PRETTY COOL. HE'S THE ONLY TEACHER WHO MAKES ME LAUGH. EDP IS SO BORING. ITS LIKE BEING IN HIGH SCHOOL. MAN, HIGH SCHOOL IS FINALLY OVER ATLEAST. I'M FINALLY IN THE REAL WORLD. IT FEELS GOOD TO GO TO UT. IT'S LIKE I'M LIVING A DREAM. THIS IS SO COOL. I REALLY NEED TO CONCNTRATE ON MY SCHOOL WORK, THOUGH. IT'S GOING TO BE DIFFICULT, THOUGH, WITH WORK AND ALL. I HAVE TO TAKE AN EXTREMELY HARD TEST AT THE OLIVE GARDEN TOMARROW. I HOPE I PASS. I CAN'T WAIT UNTILL I START MAKING SOME GOOD MONEY. SPEAKING OF MONEY, I'M RUNNING LOW. TIME TO SEN WORD TO GOOD OL'E MOM. SHE'S SO GOOD TO ME. I SURE DON'T WANT TO LET HER DOWN. I MISS HER AND MY FATHER, AND ESPECIALLY BOTH OF MY BROTHERS. I HAVE SO MUCH FUN WHEN I'M WITH THEM. I MISS PLAYING FOOTBALL WITH CODY. THAT WAS A LOT OF FUN.  I'LL NEVER FORGET MY HOMECOMING GAME ON MY SENIOR YEAR WHEN I HT THAT GUY. THAT WAS SO AWESOME. I'LL NEVER FORGET WHEN THEY HD TO MEDI-VAC HIM OFF OF THE FIELD. THAT WAS SO COOL. I'LL NEVER FORGET HOW I FEALT WHEN THEY HAD TO STOP THE GAME BECUSE HE LOST COUNTIOSNESS. EVERYBODY IN SCHOOL STARTED CALLING ME K. O. , FOR KNOCK OUT. I WISH I COULD PLAY SOME FOOTBALL FOR U. T. THAT WOULD BE AWESOME. I'M GOING TO TAKE CRYSTAL TO THE NEXT GAME. I CAN' BELIEVE I'VE BEEN WITH HER FOR SO LONG. I GUESS THAT MEANS I'M DOING GOOD. I'M GOING TO COLLEGE, I HAV A JOB, AND A STEADY RELATIONSHIP. SO FAR SO GOOD. I CAN'T WAIT UNTILL I GET THAT DEGREE AND PUT SOME OF THIS KNOWLEDGE TO USE. MAN, ITS ONLY BEEN 11 MINUTES. I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY MANANA AND IT'S GETTING KIND OF LATE. BUT, HEY, ATLEAST I'M BEING CONSTRUCTIVE. WHEN I WENT TO WORK EARLIER, I GOT TO TAKE SOME FOOD TO A COUPLE OF TABLES. I WAS A LITTLE NERVOUS, BUT I DID WELL. ONCE  GET INTO THE SWING OF THINGS, I BET IT WILL GO SMOOTH. IT BETTER. IF IT DOESN'T, I'LL FIND A LESS STRESSFUL JOB. THE MONEY AT THE OLIVE GARDEN BETTER COMPENSATE FOR THE STRESS. MY MANAGER IS PRETTY COOL. SHE'S GOING TO WORK AROUND MY SCHEDULE. I WONDER WHAT THIS THING IS GOING TO TELL ME AT THE END?  I HOPE  MAKE A GOOD GRADE IN PSY. SHOOT, ALL MY CLASSES BETTER COME OUT WITH A GOOD GRADE. I'M AFRAID OF FAILURE. I WANT TO DO REALLY WELL AND SUCCEED. SUCCEED IN LIFE AS WELL. I'VE ALREADY MADE A TON OF FRIENDS, AND I'VE ONLY BEEN TO SCHOOL FOR A WEEK. WHEN THE FIRST SEMESTER IS COMPLETE, I'LL BE USED TO EVERYTHING AD START HAVING SOME FUN. BUT UNTILL THEN, I MUST CONCENTRATE ON EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING.
so far this class seems alright. I means the girls in this class look pretty good. there's this one girl in there, I haven't talked to her yet but I have to because she 's always looking at me. she looks pretty cute, but I can tell she is young. there's this other Hispanic girl  who has real tight curly hair . she looks incredible. shit all the girls in there do well who ever is reading this can probably tell hat I think about sex a lot. its strange because I always find myself daydreaming about having a wife and kids, you know having a real family. going to visit y folk and other friends with my kids. but it like no how hard I try, after I have sex with a lady, I just lose total respect for them, I just look at there flaws and I only look at the negative. with me, the way I think about a girl is totally different after we engage in hot intense intimacy. some times I don't know if it is just irrational thought processes or what. I know its not normal. but what is normal. normal is what society says is ok. but who is the society, whites blacks Hispanic, the melting pot of the us. or the world. there are so many different cultures and societies that essayist that who is to say that their ways are better then anybody else's. how can you say that is right and that is wrong because society deems it that way. if society is forever changing, are our moral standards to be forever changing as well. well it has been so far in our human history.         times up, nice talking with you
Right now as I am witing this paper I am thinking about wether I should go to class today or if I would be okay if I did not go at all. If I do notgo it will be okay becasue I can read in my book and then just go to si and still do fine, but I do have a mid term on the 20th in my psychology class which could pose a problem that will be in seven days on next monday. I have to start studyning and reading or I will not get the gpa I need to transfer into thw business schopol. I do not even know why I want into that shcool so badly I thinkthat it is mainlky because of the repect that schoo,l demands. where as the liberal arts schol is more of the blow off lazy person school for peopl who want to be Managers of local McDonalds. Ohh and I have some bills to pay today. I wish I was rich and could aford all the things I wanted without material wants I believe my life woud be a lot easier than it is right now. IF I had all the money than I would have no stress. Without stress I can relax and enjoy life. I know that people sa that money is the root of all evil and money will never make you haooy, and I believe in this 100%. but I do believe that if I were to have enough money to live comfortably and get anything with in reason that I would be beter off. I am talking with my girlfriend of almost 10 months right now and she is distracting me from my work by talking to me and arguing with me about different things. We have an over all good relationship nd very rarely argue. this is mainly because she has a very low self esteem and will not stand up for herself inan argument. I onn the other hand am very cnfrontational and when something is not good with kme I will let the people it involves know. Where she will not. I like her a lot and so do al my friends and parents, but sometimes I have considered especially after three weeks of coleg what it would be like to be single again and able to date many people. I somewhat miss it, but at the same time do not I think for now I will stay with my girlfriend. I just thought I ave to call my stors manager and report one of my fellow employees. He is stealing product from the store, and there is a big reward if someone reports him and he is found guilty. I think he will be found guilty, but I am wondering wether or not I made the right decision in turnign himin, but thne again I could get up to $5000. So since I am there to make mone not friends I think I am making he right decision. Wle finally my twenty minutes is oming to a close this is a hard assignent it is hard to think and write in conjunction. I am not used to this since I hae never kept a diary or anything ike that, I guess for those that have kept a diary this assignment is a simple one. well there it is all done. Bye