ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
Just got back from the store, its 10:30pm Sunday and I have a ton of home work. My EE321 lab is due this week, but the lab was closed today. makes me mad. No notice or anything, just *poof* and its closed. I studied witha  friend for my other EE class. The stuff is easy but time consuming. I'm worried about my grade in there. Not so much in that I think I'm stupid, but that the Prof's tests are killer. I know this from *many* EE grads who have had him in the past. He's also known for being very hard on students in his office hours. something I'm not pleased with. I'd like to talk to him about the class without worring about him ripping me a new asshole just because I don't have the practical experiance in circuit theory he has. After all, I'm just a junior. School eats up most of my thinking. THere is always a deadline or a test or a lab (or a writting assignment) that is due. it always keeps me jumpy. Allison (my wife) is doing her laundry. on our porch. The washing machine is in our storage closet out there. I'm so glad we're moving. This place sucks. I don't like the way the managment was replaced. and how the new people will lie to the tennants. One building has termites, another gets broken into a lot. The managment will not address these issues, and will act surprised each time you tell them about it. like they didn't already know. All I know is that I have to stay late tomorrow on campus because I have to finish my lab, I might be on campus till 10pm tomorow for all I know. Lab does close at 10:45pm. so I couldn't stay any later than that. I hate lab. Its like they make it as hard as possible to get anything meaningfull done. Most of the equipment doesn't work, and what does work is being used by someone else. the work itself is never that hard, its just getting past all the setbacks (like bad chips, cables, caps, proto-boards, etc. ). And the hours for the weekend SUCK. ony open about 5 hours sat, and NONE Sunday. I hate it.
well since I have this assignment in front of me it is obviously the first thing I am thinking about. I wonder if the fact that I have been thinking about doing this assignment will affect what I write down. it probably will. like, I knew this would happen. I was thinking as soon as we got the assignment that sex is always on my mind and since this is college, I think it will be ok to mention it. my back itches. I got a sunburn yesterday at the beach. I knew I probably should have put sunscreen on, but I am a procrastinator, so I never got around to it. I kept asking my girlfriend if my back was burning yet, and she kept saying "no", but I guess she couldn't really tell how bad it was. my roommate just asked me what we had to read for this class. I haven't really been keeping up with my reading lately. I skipped class today also just because I didn't feel like waking up on time. my girlfriend probably is not as smart as me, but most of the time she seems like she works harder than me. when we first started going out she never used to get mad at me for anything. now she is always getting mad at me for everything. she used to laugh when ever I would get lost driving around because I have a bad sense of directions, but now she just always yells at me and says "where the fuck are you going". I never get mad at her for things she does to me though. I have infinite almost patience with her. she lost a piece to a puzzle I have had since I was like 2 and all I did was tell her not to worry about it but when ever I do something small like step on her sandal at the mall she gets really pissed off and says "fuck Eric, watch where the fuck your going, that fucking the second time you've done that shit". I wish she was not always like that but I still love her very much. we've been together for nearly a year now so I am pretty sure we can last if we want to. I have economics to do.
I am happy that I made the transition from Georgia Tech to UT. I am cautious about my future and what I want to get involved in. I want to become a Texas Wrangler but I am unsure that they will take me. I want to do well in school and get in to law school. I don't study as much as I want to, and I need to work on that. I love sports and I like football most of all. I wish I had played football was a kid. I am excited about the future of our country and I want to get involved. I don't understand what this assignment is about, but I will write everything that is on my mind. I worry a lot about stuff that is of no concern to me. I try to be the best student and person that I can be. I have a lot of pressure on me from my past and the way I have been raised. I've always been a good student and pretty athletic, and I try to be the best at everything. I knew that is bad, but I feel that that is the way I was born. I believe our President is guilty and should be impeached for the good of the nation. He is a smart man, but he is personally corrupt. I have a roommate that is good. He is Norwegian and is a great student. He is fun to hang out with and we get along well. I have a girlfriend and I'm not sure if we should stay together. We get along well, but I feel like I have the whole world at my fingertips, and she is holding me down. ,  WE share a lot together and we are best friends, but she wants more. more time, more money. etc. My parents are strong Christians, but ?I am not sure that that is what I want. College is a time to figure all of this out, and I am glad I am here. It is a fun place and the knowledge here is overwhelming. I am like a sponge trying to get it all in my head. I want to be an attorney and I feel like al the knowledge will make me a better lawyer. I want to be the best that I can be and make a good future for myself. My Mom never went to college so she wants me to make the most of it. It is a lot of pressure from her, and I try to be a role model for my younger brother. He is a trouble maker, and I want to be a positive influence in his life. He is a good kid, but the friends he is with are not good for him. I love my family very much. I can't wait for the UT UCLA football game. I love the game and I love the school spirit it provides. I was an engineering major at Georgia Tech last year and I made the switch to UT all by myself. I am proud of that move, and I wouldn't have it any other way. It was the best move I've ever made. I like the big school here and the number of students here. I want to run for public office when I get older and make this country a better place. I feel like I can be a good leader and bring good things to this country. I am a good person, and I believe others will think so too.
I am so upset with myself today. I am so far behind on my study god I hope I don't fail. I don't want to fail my mom. She would be so disappointed in me. I can't do that to her. Class isn't what I thought it would be. And all the reading god, it is so annoying. Brooke is pissing me off so much. You would think that since she is five hours away she would make new friends and leave me and Lex out of her life. No she has to come down every weekend and steal Lex away and get drunk. Oh man that is so fun. Yeah right. I mean Lex is my friend too. I can't spend the weekdays with her because of school and she works till 7:00 every night. Then you got homework and early classes. God I just would like to spend one day or hour with her just chilling at the mall or the apartment with her without Brooke calling every ten minutes. You have to share Lex, Brooke. My roommate Jana is really cool. She has a great outlook on life. She takes things as they go. I wish I was more like that instead of worrying about everything I do and what people will say. I mean being a girl at UT you have to look pretty to get a guy. So number 1 you must always look good and have makeup on just in case you run into the guys of your dreams. Next you have to have good grades or you will flunk out. And why is it when you go to parties it is cool to smoke and drink. Sorry I'm not into that. I can have fun without that stuff. Jana has this guy she is in to. Supposedly he is a charming jerk. He lies to her, yet she can't get enough of him. That is all she talks about. I wish I could find a guy too so we could trade stories. Me and Jana are not from Austin and decided to drive around today to the mall. Boy was that stupid. I was so scared I thought we would never find our way back. God I can't get over the fact Brooke would intrude into my life this much she is making me so mad. I think I will tell her to stay in Arlington and make her own friends, I mean I made mine. I am so bummed. I keep thinking I am going to fail out of college. My brother is a senior here and he is an electrical engineer major while majoring in business too. He was salutatorian in high school and I was only 8th. I am afraid I won't do as well as him and my parents will be ashamed. I mean I have a Kinesiology major. That is a joke to everyone I know. I haven't read any of my chapters in my books and am afraid I have a test or quiz tomorrow. I am going to have to cram. I just don't want to fail. I am so scared about this. I know I will fail if I don't straighten my act up but don't have the will to do that. I'm too lazy and tired of school. I just want to go out to the Real World" now and start my job as a coach and teacher. It would be a lot more easier. I figure if I just concentrate it will be okay, but the problem is I don't have any concentration in me. I feel like I have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). I really don't but it feels like it because I lack so much energy and motivation. I hope school is okay tomorrow because I do not want to have a bad day. I hate bad days they make me sad.
So, I can now finally begin this writing. I am pretty relaxed right now because I have a wonderful boyfriend. He is funny, sweet, and weird like I am. I feel like I am writing in a journal. Trying to track my thoughts is weird because I feel like I jump from one idea to the next really quickly. It is almost as if I am ADD in the mind. That sounds weird. I keep hearing this ticking from this tiny pink watch that is sitting right next to me. It surprises me how loud it ticks for being a wrist watch. Now, I can hear the television from the living room. It sounds pretty interesting. I can hear the air condition vent outside the apartment complex. The air just turned off now but the vent is as loud as can be. I like the noise of the keyboard when I type. Especially when I type fast. The clicks make me think that I am really accomplishing something. I am going to stop talking about sounds now and try to see what my mind is does. Write now I am a little tired. My brain seems a little slow right now. I feel a little overwhelmed by the school work load along with my sorority obligations and my job. I am happy thinking about my sorority. I love the girls! Everyone of them make me feel important ant that I really matter. All the girls are so fun to be around too. We all love to go out to parties and dance. Man, that car outside that just passed through was very loud. The music was rap and not very good. I do not understand sometimes why people ride around at night with really loud music and their windows down for everyone to hear. It seems kind of dumb to me that it is a week day night and there are people out there thinking they are all cool. Man this watch ticking is really bothering me. It's amazing how many things I hear when I really think about things. This means I am not talking which is a really good accomplishment for me. I love to be social and visit with everyone. I just remembered that I am missing music. Normally, when I type or do any homework I like to listen to some music. When I do math, I can listen to any kind of music I want. But if I have a paper or any readings, I can only listen to classical music. Speaking of music, I had my first T. A. session for my History of Rock class. It was really interesting. The teacher is pretty cool and nice. We get to listen to all kinds of music every class. The only thing is it seemed to me like I was learning all about how music works again like as if I was in band all over again. Man, I keep looking at the clock and just realized that my twenty minutes is almost up. I remember looking at seven minutes thinking that this was going to be a long twenty minutes. I was wrong. I am almost done and it went by so fast. My stomach doesn't feel too well. I think I ate too much marshmallows. Also, my head hurts now. Maybe I just didn't eat enough today. I only have
Well currently I am stressed out. It is as if I have so much to do and not enough time to do it. I get real frustrated and tired yet, things must be done. My academics take up a significant amount of time and then there's my extracurricular activities. I am so used to being involved to the point that I came to college and repeated the same cycle. My grades reflect this. I just want to get at least a 3. 6 and go to a decent medical school. My sorority's members are some of the most elite black women on campus, in the community and in the world. All of my friends want to become members. I am so nice to them which is not the proper protocol for interested people. My line sisters reiterate to me daily that I must learn how to be stern and forceful to them instead of befriending them. At our interests meetings we turn mean. How can I hug them on the behind closed doors and intimidate them at meetings. I don't want them to consider me a hypocrite and I want to maintain that level of friendship. They look to me for knowledge and direction instead of evilness and cruelty. My first mind is saying forget what people are saying those are your friends. My second mind is saying that they don't respect you and they feel as though the have nothing to prove because we are already friends. They'll learn when what's up y'all turns into, salutations and how are you. I have so much on my mind that I believe my mind is going to overload and explode. Must do homework, must practice, must get involved, must go to work are just a few of my daily struggles with my time
Wow, I can't believe I'm finally here. I've waited so long to get to the point that I am in my life right now, and now that I'm finallly here I feel like I really am not. I return to that same question that I've always grappled with. What is my purpose??  If I was religious in any sense then I might be compelled to believe in the "obvious. "  But I am not and therefore I must pretend to be purposeful and hope that in the end my lufe will be fulfilling. What did I throw away with Mike?  Or did I throw it away?  Only time will tell I guess. I will say that I have never known such unconditional love as that which I had from him. I crave excitement though. A restless mind, I suppose. And a restless heart. One day I will meet my match I feel. Someone who will mirror me in my restlessness. we will feel out the world together and find happiness in adventure and passion. False idealism perhaps - or perhaps not. I burn with anger for what happened to Amber. Anger for whoever violated her and anger in myself for not seeing it coming. Let me correct myself - anger for actually seeing it coming and not doing anything about it. I've seen this coming to her for a year at least. And I never said anything to her. I learn from others, but I suppose others don't always learn from me. Thank God she's ok. perhaps it was a blessing in disguise. Well, a new start and new people await here. I feel like the world has handed me a gift and now it is my responsibility to embellish upon it. It's all there on a silver platter for me to grapple with, and I DO intend to grapple. I'm putting in my two weeks notice on August 1st. Counting down the days. My job has become such a headache. The money is good, the hours suck, and now the people suck. Why does money mean so much to me?  I feel like a green-eyed monster and I'm only 18 years old. I'm already thinking about investing. Thinking about doing a little research and putting my money where my mouth is. I plan on being in the six digits by the time 30 rolls around. What do you see when you look into people's eyes?  Eyes are the windows to the soul. I can read so much into a person by looking at their eyes while they talk. So what am I doing with blue contacts?  What am I trying to hide?  What do I want to become?  I think I would trust my warm brown eyes over my glacier-blue contacts any day. All in the fun I guess. A mystery to others and maybe even to myself. Casper is so peaceful. I wish I were a dog sometimes. To be caressed and loved all day and to give unconditional love without material or superficial worries must be pure emotional ectasy. Not a care in the world. My bed is calling.
I got very bored doing my chemistry homework so I decided to do my psy. I am very excited about tomorrow night because my sorority is having a mixer. I am a little confused about what is going on with my ex-boyfriend. I guess since that is what I am thinking about I might as well write about it. I don't understand why boys expect so much from girls when they are starting college. Sometimes it really gets on my nerves how they expect you to come see them in another town every chance you have. They must not understand that we have other things to do. They are not always more important, but they are things that we are obligated to. For example, all I have heard about for the past year before I even came to school here was how bad sororities are. That is the biggest bunch of bull I have ever heard. I am now in a sorority, broken up with my boyfriend and having the best time hanging out with my friends. Now he is telling me that it is great that I am in a sorority, but I just think it is a bunch of crap. He is just telling me what I want to hear. I have done it   plenty of time. Anyways, why worry about that. Well on to a new subject. I love how brain wanders in very different directions all the time. Like tonight, I planned on staying in my room and making the most out of my time. Well since I love my friends so much, when one of them called me and asked me to take him to his truck, I got up and did it. I wasted an hour and a half just out talking to people I did not know. Oh well, I made a couple of new friends. I also hate it when the   phone rings non stop and every call is for me and I have to stop reading to talk to these people who call asking me how I like college. What do they think I'm going to say, that I hate it and want to go back to litttle bitty Bay City. Yea right!  I was excited though when my aunt called and told me to come over any time I want to. And when I got to talk to my best friend in the world it was a lot of fun. Anyways, I don't even have the slightest idea what I am writing about because I can't remember what I have said. I guess I am getting CRS like my mom. I guess it happens when you have more things to organize and think about. I am really glad that my parents made me take typing in high school because I would have a  problem typing all of this if I could not type. I am really pumped up about the football game this weekend. I am so glad that a group of us are going. Well my time is almost over and then I can go up to my room and mark off one assignment from my list that I made. I am really glad that I am an organized person and take on responsibility well. So far organizing time for all of my homework and all of my social activities has gone rather well. I have not had to miss anything and I have kept up with my reading. Well since this is not a grade, I guess since I rambled on it is o. k. My mind is not thinking very complex right now. Just very simple no brained thoughts after a very long day of classes!
I am really tired right now. Yesterday, Nick (my roommate) and I went at 10:30 at night to Gregory Gym to lift. I really have to use the restroom right now, so I will be right back. Sorry, I feel much better. My legs are so sore. I wonder what happens in a person's brain to tell his/her body that he/she needs to use the restroom. This TV next to me is really big, and I would like to turn it on right now, but I have more important things to do, namely writing this assignment. It would preoccupy me. I am really stressed out right now because I have so much going on. It gives me a headache. What causes headaches? Psychology is going to be a really fun course. I type really slowly, and I am trying not to look at the keys, but I am not doing a good job. My teachers are all great, and I lucked out with my math professor. He actually talks English. I wonder who ever thought of pencils and how they work. It is an amazing thing. Girls are wonderful  they make so happy. I have to maintain at least a 3. 5 to stay in the Business Honors Program, but I can do that if I really set my mind to it. Joining a fraternity would be so fun, but they are so expensive. My bed looks really comfortable. I always wonder if what we dream happens in reality later in life. Deja vu is a feeling that I cannot explain. I have always wondered what happens inside the brain when this feeling occurs. I think that I have a slight obsessivecompulsive disorder because I want everything to be so neat and clean. I wonder if other people have this same feeling. I am always scared to talk about it in front of other people because I don't want them to think that I am weird. Who would have ever come up with the idea of the computer out of nowhere? They must have been brilliant. I feel a little lightheaded right now because I put a dip of Skoal Wintergreen Long Cut in my lip. I hope that I can quit soon because I have been dipping since my freshman year in high school. My back is a little sore. I wish that I could go to sleep now, but I have to read some MIS 310 stuff. Psychology is a huge class. It has 540 people in it, and that is 50 more people than in my graduating class at Spring High School last May. Well, it has been 30 minutes. Bye!