It is 4:07 and I am supposed to be in psychology right now. When I got out of class at 3 I just walked to the bus and came home. Then at 4 I realized that I had skipped class. I have no idea how I could do that without even realizing it. My mind is working too fast and I am too focused on other things. Maybe starting Adderral again yesterday had some effect. It speeds up my thoughts rather than focusing them on the matter at hand. Now I'm not sure if that is going to be as helpful to me with school as it will be harmful. My apartment is too quiet. I just wrote to Coody and asked him to play a Modest Mouse song next time. He won't. That would be too weird for everyone. I would have volunteered to be class dj if I thought everyone wouldn't hate it and glare at me. I was also afraid my cd's would skip. They're all scratched. I can't believe I missed class, especially by accident. I feel ridiculous. Especially since I don't know anyone in the class to get notes from. Or I probably do but I don't know it because there are 500 people in there. I wonder. It has only been 4 minutes and 16 seconds, this feels a lot longer than I thought it would. I'm writing a lot more than I thought I could. Friendster is improving my typing, that's a depressing thought. I need to get off the internet and study. I need to study the Jeffersonian idea, how interesting. I think if I could go back and stop the manufacturing and the advance of technology I would. It would be so nice to live off my own land, to be self-sufficient. I wish I could have started that way, because I'm too selfish to give it all up now. It would be impossible as well. The world doesn't leave room for that anymore. Anti-Flag sang about the kid saying, If you hate America so much, why don't you move to Russia?!" Ignorance is funny. My foot itches. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning after philosophy. I really don't want to go. Or I wish there was no reason for me to go. I am never healthy for more than a week straight. There is always something wrong, something to deal with, worry about, or panic over. I am so tired of that. 8 minutes and 22 seconds, almost half way. This is very strange. I haven't done this since 7th grade. Then it wasn't for 20 minutes and it was more like "poetic" rambling, not full sentences. This is strange because my mind is going way faster than my fingers. My typing is not good. I never learned to keep my fingers on the "home keys", and for that Mrs. somebody smacked me on the head with her rolled up papers. That was special. Now I am halfway through. Is halfway a word? I think it is two words. Oops. I have so much work to do; it is overwhelming. I could stay in all weekend and finish it, but then I might go stir crazy. Plus so many people want to meet me this weekend. I don't want to meet anyone with this stuff on my face. I felt good until I got it, now I really don't want anyone looking at me. And now the antibiotics are making the rest of me worse. Plus my face is not getting any better. I am looking forward to the vegan potluck anyway though. Maybe it will be dark in there and I can be a little bit more comfortable. I wish Ross and Jimmy weren't going though. The sound of typing is starting to annoy me and make me space out. I wish they weren't going because I want to meet all new people without anyone who knows the "old me". And without anyone who will report back to Drew. I want to feel free, not be looking over my shoulder. This is so frustrating. I was so glad to move away from everyone, and three people followed me here. And now probably another will. No, I want only new friends. Not that I don't like the old, I just want to move own. I don't want to be tied down to one me forever. I have never gotten a fresh start in my life and college is the time to do it. After it will be way too hard because I won't meet people. After school people don't really make an effort to reach out and make friends and involve people. What do you do when you meet someone new? Do 35 year olds go around exchanging phone numbers and hanging out? Maybe they do, I don't know. But I wanted to start over and now I can't. And there is nothing I can do about it. Absolutely nothing. Now my face itches. Car tires are screeching outside. The bus driver drove us home in an insane manner today. He told us to hold on, and we did. It was strange. Now it's been 17 minutes. Birds are chirping outside. Something in my room just made a noise. Ramsi is sleeping under her box. She was out eating this morning. It was cute. I feel good that I've given her a better home. I need to go shopping for some new clothes and I really need to cut my hair before everyone I know does it, and then I look like I'm copying everyone. I hate that. I think I'll cut it chin length and get blonde highlights. I need to find a Goodwill to shop at. But I bet all the good clothes are bought up in Austin. I don't want to go to one of those expensive vintage stores on the drag though. Oh, less than 40 seconds left. Now I'm just thinking about the forty seconds and where I'm going to get cut off and that's strange. Is it going to stop me? Or am I