I feel very tired and alone. My room is too quiet to sleep, if that is possible and I don't have anyone to talk to since my roomate is out of town. The fan is on high right now to try to create some noise and keep me cool and comfortable, but the mugginess and isolation are too much to allow me to get any meaningful rest. It seems as though me clothes are permanently stuck to my chest and back. There is hardly any noise in my room besides the sound of the fan and the typing sound of my keyboard. I like to type as fast as possible so that the keys make almost a musical harmony. Besides the occasional loneliness, I am very happy with my new life here at college. My ex-girlfriend from high school came in for the weekend to see me, and I had a great time. however, I don't think that I would like for her to come to college with me. She goes to A&M and although I don't get to see her as much as I would like, I think that I saw her too much when we were together. It makes for sort of an awkward situation, but I have a lot of freedom, and at the same time, quite a bit of security knowing that she still cares about me and loves me. I don't like to say goodbye to her, though. She holds me and kisses me all weekend, but when it is time to go, she gets more depressed than she was when she hadn't seen me for weeks. Sometimes I get scared about her being so home-sick. She stopped eating for a while, but only told me about it today. It made me upset to think of someone who was too upset about college to eat. Everyone ends up saying college is the best time of their life, so I think that people should just forget about being homesick and try to get to the fun stuff as soon as possible. I like to have my own place, my own stuff, and a new group of friends. For the first time in my life, I can use self-control and discipline which I lacked back in high school. Back then, I figured that my parents could try to catch me if they could, but here, it's either be smart or lose out on a great opportunity to get an education and make connections. My parents do still have some say in my behavior though. They are the ones that tote most of the bills for me and recently rejected my request to join a fraternity. I was really excited to get my bid and go through the pledge stuff, knowing all along that my parents would make me wait out the first semester until joining. I wanted to make some new friends outside of the ten or so good friends that came here from high school with me. Oh well, I guess that parents know best, and I didn't challenge them too much with this decision. I'm sure that I could still join today, with the use of a little charm and a minor guilt trip. But, they are probably right on this one, so I'll let them win. The weather here seems to give me frequent nose-bleeds, unless I am just picking it more than usual (a little humor even though no one but me is listening). I love to joke around about things. The nose bleeds may be caused by some sort of anxiety or stress about being in a new place. I used to wake up with them all the time when I first moved from Michigan to Texas. I thought that it was the driness, but now that I have them again, you can't help but wonder. Time seems to go by quickly when I get to ramble on about life and myself. Does that mean that I am arrogant or self centered, that's probably it. The phone just rang and got me off track, but it's about time to go anyways. I try to correct all my mistakes during this writing even though I know that I don't have to. The work of good teachers or just a perfectionist, you make the call. Actually, I think that the bloody nose may have come from being hit during a game of basketball the other day. Maybe it is just a coincidence. Psychologists always over examine things I think. The answer the usually right in front of their nose, but they think about it too much and get too deep. Was that a pun?