ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
WELL, I FINALLY GOT TO MY WRITING FOR PSY. I HAVE BEEN AT HOME DURING THE LABOR DAY WEEKEND. I MISSED MY FAMILY SO MUCH ESPECIALLY MY DOG MENO. I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE. I ACTUALLY WANT TO GO HOME RIGHT NOW. I HAVE TODAY OFF. MY CLASS IS NOT UNTIL 3:30 PM AND THE CLASS IS BIO 212.      MY BIO 212 PROFESSOR IS PRETTY FUNNY EVENTHOUGH I ONLY UNDERSTAND HIM HALF OF THE TIME. THE FUNNY THING IS HE LECTURES BETTER THAN MY BIO 211 PROFESSOR. MY BIO 211 PROFESSOR REALLY CANNOT LECTURE AT ALL. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF HIS MOUTH. I REALLY DO NEED TO UNDERSTAND HIM OR ELSE MY EXAMS WILL BE EXTREMELY HORRIBLE. I HAVE A HUGE HEADACHE RIGHT NOW.      I'M WATCHING SOAPS RIGHT NOW. I'M WAITING TO WATCH ALL MY CHILDREN. RIGHT NOW I'M WATCHING PORT CHARLES WHICH BROKE OFF OF GENERAL HOSPITAL. RIGHT NOW ALISON IS LOCKED IN JAIL. EVERYONE THINKS SHE KILLED HER BEST FRIEND FATHER BUT IN REALITY SHE REALLY DIDN'T. ALISON IS A PERSON THAT IS SWEET AND INNOCENT AND CAN NEVER KILL ANYONE. THE PERSON THAT REALLY KILLED OR HURT ALISON'S BEST FRIEND LIVIE IS A WOMAN THAT DIED 300 YEARS AGO. SHE HAS BLACK MAGIC. SHE CAME OUT OF THE PICTURE. IT IS REALLY FUNNY. KNOW WONDER THIS SHOW WAS CUT OFF OF ABC. IT'S ABOUT MAGIC AND VAMPIRES.      WOW I CAN'T BELIEVER I HAVE ONLY BEEN WRITING FOR 9 MINUTES. 20 MINUTES FEEL SO FAR AWAY. I JUST SIGNED UP FOR THE PRESCREENING SURVEY. I WONDER HOW THAT WORKS.       YOU KNOW I HAVEN'T GONE SHOPPING IN A LONG TIME. I MISS IT. THE MALL DOWN HERE REALLY SMELLS AND IS PRETTY OLD BUT THEY HAVE ALL THE STORES I LIKE. LIKE BEBE, BEBE SPORT, WHITE HOUSE AND BLACK MARKET, NORDSTROM. I MISS MY GALLERIA IN DALLAS. I USUALLY GO SHOPPING ONCE A WEEK BUT NOW IT HAS BEEN A MONTH SINCE I HAVE GONE.       I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BROTHER IS STILL SLEEPING IT IS LIKE ALMOST 12 IN THE AFTERNOON.       SPEAKING OF MY BROTHER. HE AND HIS GIRLFRIEND AND MYSELF OF COURSE WAS SPEAKING ABOUT OUR FUTURE CAREER LAST NIGHT. I REALLY DON'T KNOW IF PHARMACY IS REALLY THE WAY I WANT TO GO. I LIKE IT JUST BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL THAT LONG AND IT MAKES GOOD MONEY, BUT I DON'T KOW IF I REALLY AM GOING TO ENJOY IT. I WISH I COULD FIND SOMETHING IN UT THAT WOULD POP OUT AT ME. I WANT A CAREER THAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY AND MAKE GOOD MONEY. I WISH I HAD A DREAM THAT WOULD TELL ME WHAT IT IS THAT I WOULD DO IN THE FUTURE. I WISH GOD WOULD COME INTO MY DREAM AND TELL ME THAT THIS IS THE PATH YOU ARE TAKING TO THE FUTURE. WOULDN'T THAT BE NICE TO KNOW. I REALLY WANT TO FIND THE RIGHT PATH TO MY FUTURE. I DON'T WANT TO WASTE HALF OF MY LIFE ON SOMETHING I WILL HATE IN THE FUTURE. HOPEFULLY SOMETHING WILL TRIGGER ME SOON.        I AM STILL WATCHING SOAPS IN A COUPLE OF MINUTES ALL MY CHILDREN WILL BE ON. WOW I ONLY HAVE ONE MINUTE LEFT TO WRITE. I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD SO MUCH TO SAY. IT REALLY MAKES ME FEEL BETTER JUST TO SAY EVERYTHING ON MY MIND.
I just got back from Houston and all I can think about is getting ready for this week's classes. I had a good time witj my girlfriend and got to spend quality time with my parents. I hope I can get tickets to the Bob Dylan concert next week. I need to study a lot this week so I can keep on top of my classes and not get behind in anything. Thursday night I hope I go to Bob Popular's again. I'ts fun not having Friday classes so I can go out on Thursday nights . I love college: I feel so free; free as a bird: to come and go as I please. I'm doing pretty well in my classes thus far and hope to continue on. UT football dominated Stanford. They didn't have a chance. However my favorite college football team is PennState. They whipped Arizona last week and killed Akron this week -70-24. Now they have their eyes set on Miami in two weeks : and I plan to go on-line and bet about $20 on that game: in psu's favor of course. Hopefully they will win the national championship. I also hope that UT does well because they are my second favorite team. I really need my 4. 0 Gpa this term so I can get into the business school. I don't know what I will do if I don't get in. I am really interested in studying business and hope to own my own business someday. God I miss my girlfriend: I've only been away from her for like ten hours now but I already realize that I miss her so much. We've been going strong now for like a year and a half, and I love her so much. She's still a senior in high school and I hope that next year she will come to UT. She makes good enough grades so I think she can get in. Sometimes I miss my parents but I'm having a good time thus far. I I have made so many friends. Ut is going to kill Rutgers this weekend : but too bad it is in New Jersey. I want to watch them play live since I missed their game last week cause I was back home in Houston. however I did watch them on T. V . So here I sit on this computer at 11:25 typing and typing staring off into space. I wish I knew what would happen in my future, I wish I knew. Who knows : its all in God's hands now. He is the one who will watch over me and guide me on the right path. I am taking creatine while I work out. Since I started taking it I've gained 10 pounds of muscle. It might be bad for me in the long run but for right now its worth it
I think I have one of the shortest attention spans. For some reason I can't concentrate on one thing for more than fifteen minutes. I was never diagnosed as A. D. D. though. I don't think I'm A. D. D. I just think I don't put forth the effort to concentrate. I was trying to read for English, but I couldn't keep my mind on it for anything. Every time I sat down to read I go sleepy. I try to stay focused, but it's hard. I wonder why my concentration is so limited. I think it all depends on what I'm interested in . I can read things relating to the human anatomy all day, but I have trouble focusing on things dealing with English or history. My mind often starts wondering. I've really had to adjust these first few weeks. Not only did I have to adjust academically, but socially. Even though I have a group of best friends, I still miss my friends back home. My mom, sister, and I are best fri3nds, and it's is pretty hard because I can't just pick up the phone and call them. It took a couple of day for me to realize this. I also have a boyfriend back home. This has also been hard. It's been hard for both of us. We were in the habit of talking everyday, and seeing each other quite often, now he's three hours away. I think he's taking it a little harder than I am. I'm keeping busy so I'm not constantly thinking about him. There's so much going on here. Between keeping on top of all of my classes, and hanging out, there's no more time left in the day. We've been having so much fun. The other five girls I hang out with are great. We all bonded so quickly. They really help to keep me focused on what I need to do. Of coarse with a group this big personalities flare, and we have disagreements, but surprisingly instead of holding grudges we talk it out. Females are stereotyped as being gossipy, and shady. Yes we do gossip, but if we say something behind someone's back, you can guarantee it's already been said to their face. So far everything's been going pretty smoothly. I hope this bond that is present now remains present for the next four years. It's difficult to say if it will because we can't  predict the future, and people change. When we're just sitting around we talk about our future as friends. I've already asked them to be bridesmaids at my wedding. Who knows when that will be. I don't plan for it to be any time soon, but I do hope our friendship will at least last that long. Friendship is a very important thing to me. It gives a sense of warmth, and belonging. It's like we have known each other for years. I hope nothing, but good will come out in due time.
I am feeling a little nervous right now. I just tried to find my class but it was not in the same spot as usual. Normally I wouldn't really care, but today this class was my excuse for not being somewhere else. I walked around for thirty minutes to three different buildings trying to find the whereabouts of this class. I never found it. Hopefully the fact that I was not in class will go unnoticed. I had a very busy day, and every little thing I do every day I have to think about twice. I can not react on impulse here in college, because if I do I could get into trouble with people I would rather not be in trouble with. If I do get in trouble it is not that big of a deal. I got my OU wristband today. I had to get up very early in order to do this. I was tired out from last night as well. I have to get up early again on Thursday in order to get my actual ticket. The OU tickets are thirty five dollars. This is pretty expensive. From what I hear it is worth it though. A lot of people have told me that this is the best weekend of the entire year. We're going to take buses to Dallas and probably stay the night at some of my new friends houses. It sounds like a blast. One of my friends from high school moved to Dallas to go to SMU for college. It will be good to see him. One of my other friends went to West Point for college. I respect the guy with all my heart. I don't know how he does what he does. I got to see on Labor Day for the first time in like three months. That was really nice. He does not think that West Point is that great, but he is the only one of my friends with enough self control to live through all that stuff. The beginning of college has been fun so far. I've had some great times, and some nerve racking ones. I enjoy living on my own. I live with three other guys from Corpus Christi. They are all really cool. I enjoy private times sometimes too. It is kind of neat when they all go to their fraternity deals, and I get the whole place to myself. It's a lot more quiet, and that is really nice sometimes. They spend pretty much every hour of every day with each other. It would be fun but every one needs a little privacy sometimes. I just got my internet connected today, so this is a nice new feature. Well it has been about twenty five minutes now so I am going to check spelling and submit my work.
Right now I am not stressed and I feel very comfortable. However, I feel like I should be thinking of ways of obtaining a scholarship so I can help my parents out. I guess you can say that I feel kind of guilty. I mean putting two kids through college is no joke. I guess I have been pretty preoccupied with that during my entire stay at UTAustin. Overall I like the campus. Most of the parties and events that I want to attend are off campus, but that does not keep me from having fun. The people are generally nice here. That was really unexpected, because most of the people at my high school usually considered themselves superior to the rest of the people. I wouldn't say that my high school years were the best because it was not. However I think that I could have made it better. However, now that I am in college, I feel that I can start my life all over again. All those mistakes that I made in high school are gone and I can try to learn from them. (Such as waiting until the night before a major exam to study) I think that college will definitely teach me how to balance my time. I am glad that my parents decided not to let me work because I do not know how I could have adjusted. However I know that I will have to work at some time during the school year. Hopefully I will be able to handle it. I am pretty much worried about my classes and what grades I will get in them. So far it has not been so bad. I know that the worst is yet to come. Preparedness is not one of my stronger assets. I tend to be flustered and nervous most of the time. A young woman that I knew from high school told me that the important thing to do in college is not to stress. Hopefully I will live up to that. I can't promise anything. I still feel upset that I did not get any type of scholarship. I felt that I worked hard, but then again there are a lot of intelligent young people on this campus and not all of them obtained scholarships. So in other words, I don't feel as bad as I used to.
There is this chomping sound coming from my brothers mouth. He's eating cereal. Sometimes I am jealous of this, because he  has his own place with a kitchen and food and everything. Even  Quinby has his own place with a kitchen and everything. Someday  I will have these things for myself. My own life, with my own things. Like in Days of Our Lives. There will be days of my life when I  do what I want, with whomever I choose. Until then I must continue  doing things their way . Everyone elses way, like my mom. My nose  itches. It is a very natural thing to scratch an itch, or itch a  scratch?  It is very annoying to itch. When I got sunburned, I  itched extremely badly. Sara laughed at me because I was jumping  around in discomfort. I never want to feel like that again. Sunburns suck. I miss Sara though. Even though I did not see her  much, I always knew she was just down the street. But things are  different now. That made it sad for me to leave. The fact that  she isn't down the street anymore. That was like a security for me. Just knowing. I am in a hurry to finish this assignment. I have to be in class in about half an hour, and I am nowhere close to where I need to be. Life can make you feel like that. Like you are never at the right point, where you need to be. Everything in never alright. That's and oxy-moron. Things don't  work that way. But things do tend to work themselves out. You just  have to keep moving to get through the bad stuff. I always want  something better. I feel like I am always in transit. It's had for  me to be happy with the present. At least I can let go of the past, now. That was an accomplishment for me, not to dwell on memories anymore. Still, I look forward to, and fear the future. I do know things are good  now. I am on my own, a little bit. I don't want to rush things. I am in no hurry to grow up. Well, not a big hurry at least. I do want the rest of my life to come. I want to marry Quinby, have  a house, and pets. I am going to have a rabbit. Maybe two. Kids  eventually, but not for a long while. The television is such a distraction!  I can get side tracked forever. I like how it takes me out of this life. It is definitely  an escape.
I probably will not get too much typed because I type kind of slow. Anyway,  my Girlfriend is not talking to me today. It actually started yesterday because she says that I don't back her up. Whatever. Anyway, Lately we have been getting into a lot of fights. I think she is only PMSing this time thought. Oh well. Ernie left his Binaca on my desk. He better leave today,  That boys got to go home. I'm actually typing kind of fast now. Johnny's Pekkle is so dirty. I need to make more friends. I also need to call either Jefferson or James and find out when the IEEE meeting is tonight. I still have to write for 12 more minutes. It took me a long time to Get on to the psy homepage. I wonder why because all the other Internet sites I go to always show up real fast. I guess Kristine is not going to go with me to sign up for psychology experiments. By the way I thing that these experiments that we have to do are BS. I think that that the psychology department needs someone to experiment on so they make the psy301 students be the guinea pigs( I think I spelled that wrong. Oh well. )  If we don't do the experiments they punish the students by making them write a 5 to 10 page paper. Ultimatum. I really need to work on my spelling but I won't. Oh yea I also have to pay the $4 it owe UT. I'll do that by TEX after I finish this essay. I still have 4 minute left. I really hate writing papers. I'm Glad that I got out of English. Everybody says that I need to get into study groups if I want to survive Engineering. I Need to get into some study groups I guess. By the way I didn't mean to caps the "need" in the last sentence. Oh well. It's 2:36 So I guess I'm about done now. LALALALALALALALALA
I don't know what to expect. By best friend's father passed away Monday and I am really worried about the family. His mother does not work and he is in college without much financial aid. I hope he will be able to continue school, but I don't know what's going to happen. I am scared to face them, though. I can't see the family being whole without the father. They were always so close to one another and could share anything with each other. I envied that relationship because my family was broken up at an early age. When my father and mother divorced, I was only about two or three. I actually don't even know when they divorced. I really can't even picture my parents being together at all. They are so different now. I guess that is why I was envious of my friend's family. I never have had a very close relationship with any members of my family. I feel alone inside my parents house. When I went to my friend's house, though, they were always so open with each other and there was never any tension or anxiety between them. I don't see how a family like that could be torn apart, or actually why. Some people think there's a reason for everything, and some people believe that it's all a part of God's plan, but I, personally, have no idea what reason or higher purpose there could be for this man's death. Maybe there isn't any reason. Maybe humans have a natural tendency to search for reasons, causes, purpose. Are we all just misleading ourselves?  Could it be that humans are merely just another species on the face of this planet?  Who knows. James' father knows. He has all the answers to all the questions in life. It's funny that the questions of life are only found in death. He is dead, nevertheless, and I still can't come to that realization. Traumatic experiences just never happen to me or people I know. Until now, I guess. What the hell happened?  Five minutes to go. I remember just before I left, coming back to Austin for my second year, shaking his hand, and hearing him wish me luck. How can that man be dead?  Then I remember that death is a part of living; death is the price tag of life. We all have to face it sometime, and I guess it's not going to happen at our convenience. We have to prepare ourselves for anything, but how?  I don't know of any way I could have prepared for this. If I would have known that he was going to die, I would have tried to stop it from happening. I would have wanted him to keep on living. Why is that?  If death is so common, why do humans try so hard to prevent it, rather prolong it from happening?  I can't say that it's selfishness, I wouldn't want him to live just so I could live happy. But that is a part of it. But, the answer awaits me as well. I guess I'll have to prepare myself for my death. That means I better start living my life.
Damn if I didn't hit enter out of habit at fourteen minutes, submitted an incomplete, computers eat my soul, thinking though again on the great badmitten essay of 1999 in outdoor education, a gym coach that never read or listened to the students, known as fact, killed time by writing idiot descriptions of sporting history, history of badmitten, wrote mashed potatoes mashed potatoes mashed potatoes mashed potatoes filling my two pages, I got an A. I met my girlfriend in that class, thinking back to short, white hair and anonymous breasts, she was drunk on our first date, she'd been with many other partners, she smoked and was vulger and knew everything about kandinsky, I painted a portrait of her standing next to a giant anthropomorphic hot dog outside the kodak theater, the hot dog dabbed his own head with ketchup, like a chicken spokesman for a chicken store, a cow for cavender's, or a retarded inmate on death row for the republican party, moving on my dreams dr are a numb series of catastrophic violence, eating brains of my best friends and crying for the deaths of assholes, once fought jack nicholson in a sea of burning ember monkeys, died by the hand of an explosive ship painting, buried under the weight of fat men, my last trip to big bend found me at the base of a babble agave, watching silver linings to form concentric circles around the great javelina head, tusking my eyes out so we could share a nice moment alone at sea, crying in the arms of alien waifs, couldn't fall asleep til I beat tyson in my mind, I graduate in three months with classes outside my interests cause they told me I took too much too much so now you need to suck it up and finish with the freshmen who are there because they don't know where else to be well I know where I need to be and it's not around this keyboard spilling oil into the duck's mouth and making him chase it with a beer, my cat soon yi just came into the room, hopped into my lap staring at these words march across this screen down the page and out of my life.
They are playing the Atlanta Braves. They're good but I think we should be able to defeat them in the playoffs. There closing pitcher, something like, Lightenburg is the ugliest guy in the league: pretty close to Randy Johnson of the Astros. I'm really hungry right now. I want a nice juicy ribeye steak back in Houston. Houston has the best restaurants. The night before I came to school I went to anthony's in houston. I had duck with cherry dressing. It was so good and the dessert was even better. We ordered practically everything on the menu. School is really different from high school. There is so much freedom compared to high school. Not only are parents out of the scene but teachers don't know if you show up to class or not. My bed is so comfortable. I put my two twin beds together and now I have a king sized bed. I love sprawling out on my bed after walking back from class or coming home from a night in Austin. I love UT and I cannot wait until the first football game even though I am leaving town. I am going to Birmingham for my grandmother's 80th birthday. It will be good to see my parents again. My sister is a senior at UT this year and she is going to graduate in the Spring. She is a PR major. This summer she interned for your daughter at Pennebaker Designs. Well I think that is 20 minutes so I am going to stop. I think I am going to go get something to eat. Pizza or maybe some quesadillas.
Well, I feel good about the fact that I am getting this assignment done  well before it is due. Today is one of those days that I feel really  motivated to do my homework, as opposed to those days in which I don't   do anything worthwhile. The excitement of college is starting to wear off and I think that the reality of the fact that I am here is finally sinking in. I really hate the way this typing field doesn't automatically move the sentence down to the next line! I really don't seem to be thinking about anything  interesting right now. I am just feeling average, not extremely excited or  unhappy. I really cannot think of anything to type. I think my mind is clearing  itself like it usually does when I sit down to right a paper. No stray thoughts seem to be coming to me. I am fairly excited about this psychology course. I think this course will not only be very interesting but helpful as well  because I plan to go into medicine. Boy, this twenty minutes is going by slowly. I think I might be typing too much too fast. Perhaps I am supposed to sit and wait till a thought comes to me before I type. I have tried to type in my current thoughts and feelings. My roommate is typing on his computer as well, annoying. Now he has turned on his fan, which is fairly loud . he switched it off. Still no  stray thoughts. I guess composing these sentences are thoughts. This assignment  is all I am thinking about right now. Four minutes to go. Three minutes to go. I have to go out and buy an answering machine today. I have to get back before nine  so I can make the upper East Jester floor meeting. Free pizza will be there! I hope its Double Dave's. Oh, they have good pepperoni rolls, I don't know about their pizza. Well, it has been 20 minutes.