I am really really really hot. I don't know what to say. My girlfriend just called she's going to New York. I have some pretty messed up feelings about that. To a certain extent I feel kinda abandoned going here to UT. All of my friends are going to that amazing just right school for them. Me. I took the easy cheap way out. I knew that I could get in here, so I only applied here. Thats not to say that I don't like it here, I really do. I think that it will be interesting. I am really hungry. My roomate isn't here, he's working. I get to go to the dining hall all by myself, and I get to sit down, all by myself, and I get to proceed to eat. all by myself. I really like my room. I don't know why, but for some reason It has just taken over and become home. I'm not sure what to think about this expirement. I know that I've done stream of concious writing before because I took some creative writing classes, but now I'm afraid that this is going to be used to analyze my brain and you're going to use it to steal my credit card number, and forge all sorts of stuff. Speaking of credit cards, I got my first today, and had to send it home with parents because you can only activate the cards from your home phone, what kind of messed up shit is that?  I'm sorry, I really should stop swearing. For some reason my mouth has to the potty since I started. I  d o n ' t  k n o w  w h a t  to  say. I'm sort of bored right now. And I'm sort of in a strange dillema. This is going to sound sort of like Jerry Springer. I don't know if I love my girlfriend. I mean, I do, that's not the issue. It's that she's going to New York, and I'm here. And I don't know what to do about that. I'm going out to see her at thanksgiving. I really miss what she brought to my life. It was that feeling of completeness. I know that this is bad, but I'm already starting to look around for something to replace that feeling that is gone. I think that long distance relationships suck. You know that I can type really really fast. Sometimes I think that I can type faster than I can think. Or maybe thats the other way around. Maybe that's the reason this is turning into somany things that I don't know were floating around inside my head. It is right now five fifty. I have ten minutes to go. I can't believe that you're going to actually read this. That is really impressive. I can't imagine reading six hundred different stream of concience writings. I think that either your going to grade them pass fail, or you're an insomniac with nothing better to do with your time. I really wish that I could have a totally silent computer. You know, that's not random, It has to the fact that right now it is humming. I would put in some music, but that would mean taking my hands from off of the keyboard, which is illegal. So instead I'll play the game by the rules, and sing along to something in my head. Jen, Jen, Jeeeee----eeen Jen, Jen. She doesn't fucking care are are. Whether I like her or not. Okay that didn't really work out. I hate how you can only remember the lyrics to one part of a song. You end up singing like this. Word Word Word, dum dum dee dum. This shit would be really funny if I could instead speak it to you. I gaurantee that I'm the guy who will never shut up. Although lately I feel that maybe I've been too quiet. I think it may be time to sing something in the dining hall, maybe that will make people want to sit with me. Only five minutes left. That means I can eat by my badass lonely self. It should be fun. Maybe I'll call this girl I know. The problem with that is that I don't know where or friendship begins and ends. I don't know if she even considers me a friend. Its a total fucking mystery to me. I want to sit her down and tell her look. I think that I like you. The problem is that I'm afraid of rejection and failure and all of that bad stuff. You see I think that maybe I would make a good psychiatrist, because I've been through some weird shit, and that would help me to understand what was going on in other people's minds. Maybe not. Maybe I'm just totally fucking alone in the world. It's a frightening thought. And there I go with the swearing thing again. I would go back and edit it for langauge and content, but I figure that you probably won't be reading this thing anyways, so what does it matter. I like the fact that you seem to know how to handle a big class. Sorry, I don't even know why I seem to be writing this to you. I really should be writing this to myself. And if I was writing this to myself, I think that maybe I would rather just mull over it in my own head, as opposed to online, on paper, on something. So that's what I'm going to do. Good bye Gotham City