ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
Well, I'm at UT now, and boy, is it a different life. Everything is different now; no more mom's home cooked meals and I have to do my laundry now. I'm going to go back every two weeks and take my laundry home. I will only need two weeks' worth of clothes and then I can take it all home and get them washed. One main thing I like about UT are women! Wow, there are some sexy women here. Then again, there are also the ugly girls. They will always be around, but at UT, the ratio of hot to ugly girls is much better than what I have seen before; at least that's what it seems like. I guess women are the motivation to stay here in school. I could never go to an allboys school. I would go crazy! There would be nothing to look forward to. Talking about women, I went back home last weekend and I met my very good friend, Stephanie. We have been friends for years, but only recently have we gotten really good friends. For example, she took me out for dinner and a movie before I had to leave for college, and she has been telling me how much she will miss me. I think ever since I broke up with my old girlfriend, Stephanie has gotten closer to me. I am definitely happy about it. She is the sweetest girl I know, and she looks great too. I've been emailing her quite often and I plan to visit her every time I go home. College relationships can be hard when the person you like lives far away. The main reason my relationship with my last girlfriend ended was because of college. She mainly did not want to go through a longdistance relationship, and I agree with her. However, I have known Stephanie for way too long, and there is no way that I can simply ignore her. Well, I'm not sure what to talk about now. I'm in my room and I really do not want to do this psychology assignment. My friend just called me and he asked me to play a computer game with him. I really want to play, but I still have to type what is on my mind. I am going to talk some more about Stephanie. I guess, she is the main thing that is on my mind. I cannot stop thinking about her. Her high school homecoming is coming up this October, and I think I will tell her that she can go with me if she has no one else in mind. After all, we went together last year. I am pretty sure that she knows that I have a crush on her. Especially since I gave her a kiss on the cheek two nights ago. I was surprised when she asked me to come over and watch a movie with her. She looked terrific that night; I'm pretty sure she wanted to look good for me. Either way, we had a good time and I made her laugh several times. I think it is really important to keep a girl happy in order to have a healthy relationship.
I'm sitting here listening to a trance cd of jimmy van M who I recently saw at Hyperia in Houston, Texas. As best as I can express my sensations and reactions to this music something will always be left unsaid. The music is a magical, emotional journey that not many people understand. Those that do, however, are purveyors of another plain of consciousness that will forever stay with them. A grammatical explanation is hard to find when most people are entirely withheld from experiences that have the guaranteed potential to alter people's lives. I often think of Teddy Roosevelt's idea. "Far better it is to dare mighty things than to take rank with those poor timid spirits who know neither victory or defeat. " I for one am a great example of the power that is contained in some of the things I've experienced. I wish I could really delve into these things sometimes without hesitating with regards to the repercussions. But, then again, the leap of faith is something everyone must do on their own. Someone can only be shown the door. You must have the initiative within to step across it on your own. As much as I've seen and endured I sometimes wonder if I really have seen everything that is the best. Then I remember what I thought before my experiences and I know that there is still so much more out there for me to jump on. Avoiding selfdestruction is also a daunting task sometimes and an everpresent one. One I am no longer fearful of fulfilling. Life really is too short to worry a fraction as much as most people do. This is a cold, hard fact. I'll be damned if I'll be lying on my deathbed reminiscing about all the missed opportunities. I'll croak knowing that I choked everything out of life and then some, and then a little more.
How am I going to do? Who am I? How do I compare to everyone else around me? So many questions yet no answers. I'm hopig to have fun and enjoy my experiences. Is my family thinking of me? I hope all is well with them. Expressing my feelings and thoughts on paper is hard to do. Am I doing this right? I don't no what I'm doing really. In school that is. Don't know if I'm able to be successful. Wait,m I know I can be successful. just have to dig down deep inside and find meyself. So lost without God and best freind. Dpn't know what the futre holds or what will happen. Kinda scared and hesitant. I want to love my job and my family. I want so many things for my life and I want to fullfill my goals. I want to be a rockstar. To see crowds of people go crazy at the sight of me. Who doesn't though? Maybe its just a dream. I feel destined to have a career in music. My only escape frpm life itself is music mostly guitar. I want to makee a differece in my society. To figure out where humans came from and to answers questions about life. But who doesn't want to do that? I want to stand out. I want to be a hero in my society and a mentor amongst my peers. I want poeple to remember me for the rest of time. For the good things that I've done. For differences that I've made in peoples lives. I want to lead my friends to Christ and show them how wonderfull it is to be a christian. my life is wonderful and I sometimes take for granted all that I have. Sometimes I realize much I regret some of the things I have done. Time can change me, but I can't change time. Well, I think its been 20 mins. Later. i'm out
Today has been one of the longest days of my life. I have had only one class today so I am constantly looking for some way to spend my time. It seems that everyone I know here on campus is in class or at work, therefore I am left alone with nothing to do. When I sit there with nothing to do I become very homesick. If it were not for my Friday classes I would be long gone. It excites me however, that tomorrow I get to go home. I can't wait to be in my own house without a roommate or doors slamming through the night. One thing that I can't wait to see is my cousins. They are adorable. The oldest, Sydney, is like the sister I never had despite the fact that she is only nine years old. I enjoy being around her and it makes me proud when she comes to me to ask personal questions. I have three other cousins too. Leizl, who is five, is so cute and has such a wild imagination. It excites me to watch her imagination at work. She is one of the very few children left in this world that can entertain herself for hours with a paper towel roll. Next is Will, the little man. He is only two and is constantly making me laugh. He is in love with Blues Clues and Power Puff girls. He knows every word to the songs and has his own little dance for each of them too. The youngest, and I have to say my favorite, is little Miss Annie Makenna. She turned one on August 30. The reason that I think I like her the most or think about her the most is the fact that we almost lost her. She was born with the strep virus in her lungs and spent the first month of her life in the ICU on a lung machine. She is now a healthy little girl. She is now walking but it seems so weird to see her walk because she is only the size of a 6 month old. She is so tiny. I can't wait to see them. They are the world to me and I love them and miss them everyday. Just as I do my parents and my brother. That is on thing that gets me down about college. I don't like being away from my family. I love them dearly. They mean everything to me. Writing this paper has depressed me but I know that tomorrow I will get to see them all and spend the entire weekend with them. Yeah! My brother is cool. I am one of the very few girls in this world that got blessed with an awesome older brother. He is three years older than me and he has always been there for me, much like my two loving parents. I thank God everyday for the family that he has given me and the support he has surrounded me with.
What is Ale doing right now? She looks pretty funny ironing on a table. Wow! I have a lot of homework and I don't even get some of it. I need to get a tutor for like every subject. It's Monday, shit! I still need 4 more days till the weekend. I wonder if Rodrigo is going to call me for the weekend. I hope this weekend is way better than last weekend. Eww! It smells like burnt clothes hahaha. I don't want to go to class right now. I still need to wash my clothes. Where am I going to get change? I don't want to walk anywhere. I need to call my mom for some more money. Oh! my dad too. Oh God I just signed up for a Friday night experiment! I hope it doesn't interfere with my Friday night. Oh wow! I got fat over a couple of months. That's it I'm on a diet. Damn, it's only been Five minutes. Hmmmmm, can I even put foul language on this assignment? Will he even read this. God! I hate eminem reminds me of the ugly winters in Laredo. I don't miss Laredo. Whoa! Ale looks like a maid ironing! hahaha. Why hasn't Rodrigo called me? I wonder if he still loves me. Should he trust me and I trust him? God, 7 minutes barely. I wonder if he is going to check for spelling or punctuation. Ummm. I'm pretty hungry, but I'm on a diet. Where is Anne? She is never here. I need to go exercise after I go to class and after I wash my clothes. I smell starch. I need some water. I think I'm getting dehydrated. I need to buy that necklace that I liked in BeBe. It'll look great with my new outfit. I need to get a guy. I'm tired of being a tag a long. I want a nice latin guy with money. I have to admit that does attract me. In fact, it'll attract any girl. Oooh I like this song, is there any more room for me, in those jeans"! Ale thinks I'm bad, but I'm not I just like to express myself. I like myself, I would date me. Why doesn't anyone want me or Ale? I guess, we are not girlfriend material. How can you get to be "girlfriend material". Okay. I am spilling too much information for my professor. Will he think I'm weird! I am weird sometimes. My book just fell! My phone is ringing and I can't pick it up. Awww. The newspaper just fell. Ale is making a mess and she can't iron for shit. I should stop saying bad words. It doesn't look nice on a lady like me. Ale's making me hot with the iron. I wonder if she will iron my clothes. Oh Wow! I have about a min. actually. Wow! this song is so ghetto, but I can feel my head bouncing.
Okay I was asked to write about the way that I'm thinking this is an pretty easy assignment, but then comes what am I suppose to write about and is it really that easy to put thoughts to paper. I know one thing is I sure do really want to go back to houston where life was much easier and fun. Here people are to damn concieted and full of them selves, theis mainly means the females, maybe its cause I'm hispanic or something. Either way I never had diffulty meeting girls. Well its probably cause I miss my gurl my lil china back in h-town. Hmmmmmmmmmmm what else mann I'm bored and tired and I wonder why my led hurts. Its been doing that all week. I'm not as athletic as I use to be that makes me sound like an old person. But foreal though its so boring out here parties are bunk. Who the called me today have no idea who was that girl I wish I knew who she was thought she sounded reallly good though. Lets see what else is there to say I don't really feel like college has got hard yet but I feel it coming. I hope I'm ready when all the hard works hits me BAAaMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!  Just like that. I realize that I do think of gurls a lot that's crazy even right now I'm talking about gurls haaaa. Hmmmmm will I meet a girl out here who will at least be my friend. Maannn this stupid computer is slow and these dum pop ups keep coming up man I didn't realize that 20 min was this long man I forgot how to type fast so ill just use this as practice I guess. Soooooooo lets see Wow there sure is a lot of porn online stupid popups trying to distract me all the time just leave me alone like micheal jackson mann that guys weird I feel srry for those kids lol. no but really that's sick I'm on 12 min and 10 sec. hmm doesn't seem like I said a lot so man I really not liking austin if this continues I'm going back home. I don't kjnow though I got freedom here like I would have in houston there I got a person watching me which is goood but how willl I ever grow without learning on my own. I actually learned how to wash clothes out here that's a big accomplish ment seein that I never did that. Yep I can a lot if I put my mind to it those white kids won't know what hit them when I get all my grades up and start knowing more people imma take there gurls lol. Then every body willl be on my swangers foreal  mann those cookies smell good but if I take my hands off the keyboard then ill stop typing and that's no good screw it let me get a cookie. Hmmmmmmmmm that's good lol. I feel like I'm chatting ca;use I just don't care about grammer. I need some music its so boring and what kind of crap do they jamm down hurrr its so weak and so is the dancing. yup good old h-town inned to go back and chill with my friends and especially Lindsey My Love man forreal though I miss her most of all its like when I say I miss houston I mean her cause she's the only thing worth going back for. maybe in the future if it was meant to be ill meet here again and well fall in love all over agian!  I wish but she's beatiful she wouldn't be single and she's just perfect. I heart her.
I'm sitting here at my boyfriend's place, and I am hungry. That's about the biggest thing on my mind right now. When I have to write my thoughts down, I just can't seem to know what I feel at that specific moment. Well, I guess,  right now I can say I'm thinking more about what I am actually going to type rather than what I am feeling or what kind of emotions I possess. OK, so now my boyfriend is trying to give me ideas on what to write. I, of course, told him that I will write only what is on my mind right now (which is HUNGER). Princess Diana's death just popped into my head. I can't believe she is dead,  even though I never paid attention to her. She was just one of those people  who I thought would always be in the news until she was ancient. Just a shock. The Hansons are stupid. I just now saw an MTV commercial with them on it. As you can guess, I am not a big fan. I thought they were kind of cute at first,  but the more I heard their song, the more I disliked them. Celine Dion needs to come up with some songs of her own. She is always remaking the old ones. All I can say is that she can't sing them as good as the people who first did. I never get E-mail. I know it's my only my first week of school, but I like  to get mail. Plus, E-mail is new to me. I've never had an E-mail address before. I was really uncomfortable today when my boyfriend's roommate, girlfriend, and  her friends came over. I can never seem to get comfortable around his friends. It's like they scrutinize me. I definitely do not like to be in the spotlight. Well, only if it's for a good thing. Like for an achievement or if I know for sure that I will not be embarrassed. Otherwise, I'd rather just be apart  of the crowd or stand in the back. Being uncomfortable is the worst feeling. Oh, goodness!  It has been twenty minutes already. Time flew by. I kind of  liked doing this. It was kind of a relief to just sit and type and not worry about sticking to a certain topic or subject.
My thoughts, sensations, and emotions are always changing with each new experience, idea, and whatever happens throughout my life. They are affected sometimes by what other people think and sometimes affected from just maturing and thinking differently. Right now I feel like I am in control of myself because I am doing well in school academically, socially, and mentally. School work is very important to me and I make sure that I do well. I don't go overboard like a lot of my friends who study hours every day. Socially, I have adapted very well in meeting new friends. Mentally, I am in control and focused on what is going on in my life. There were some problems that have caused some stress in my life since college started. First, me and my roommate got in some petty arguments, but now we are getting along just fine. Also, I had some guy problems. I regretted doing some things I knew I shouldn't have done, but now we worked things out and or friendship is even better than before. I know that I haven't been eating right and sleeping enough, which is causing some changes in my body that cause me to be more tired and weak. I always go to sleep way too late and wake up early for my classes. Last night a friend called at two in the morning and I talked to him for hours even though I should have y eight-o-clock class. I am in a very good mood today because everything seems to be working out for me. I'm usually a nice pleasant person until I am faced with a lot of stress or go through PMS. Then I get in a really bad mood. My friends know when to stay away from me. The only thing really troubling me right now is all the reading I have to do for my classes. the assignments they give us are no problem, but the reading is crazy. They bombard us with reading assignments that  really aren't necessary. My art class, for instance, requires for the present moment for me to read from pages 13 to 200-something. I really don't want to read about all these statues and paintings and sculptures from different eras. Anyway, I miss my family, but I'm not homesick at all. How can I be when my parents call ALL the time?  I know they care for me, but it's really not necessary for them to want to visit every weekend, which I won't allow them to do. That sounds mean, but they're going to have to get used to it. I do miss the free laundry and the home-cooked meals and my own room and my nice bathroom, but oh well.
I feel so tired. I was so awake until I walk into calculus in which the voice of the professor just made me want to close my eyes and fall asleep. Then my mind kept wandering. The year has just begun and I'm realizing that work is just going to get worse. I have to write a rough draft for RHE 306 that will be due next Monday. I have to start working on that. Then I have to remember that after Rhetoric and Composition that I have to cross the South Mall and go to the Mezes building so I can sign up for some experiments for Psych class. I would rather do experiments instead of writing a 5page research paper. Then my mind always wanders to this weekend. It will be a special weekend because it will be the onemonth anniversary of my boyfriend and me. I don't know what to get him. I have to remember to ask my best friend for suggestions. He's my first boyfriend ever and he has done so much for me. I don't know what I would do without him. I am so happy that my first boyfriend is someone special because I've heard of first boyfriends that don't mean much other than they're their first boyfriends. Then again, most girls have had their first boyfriends when they were as young as in grade school. I'm in college now. It's a little different I would think. Now, what do I get for him? It's such a hard question to answer and I'm low on cash. Well, I'm not low on cash, it's just that I'm given a $20 allowance for each week and I've already used up 3 weeks worth of allowances in less than a week. I need to be able to budget my money more. Then I've been using up my dining dollars faster than I should be. I'm about $40 under than where I should be. I'm really not good with keeping track of my money. Then I have so much reading to do in all my classes. The only class that doesn't require much of my time is calculus. Unbelievable! I'm so thankful that I took calculus in high school or I would be so lost because it's hard to understand everything the professor is saying. If I go back to visit high school, I'm going to go thank Ms. Hall for being a great calculus teacher. I went looking through my psychology book and there are so many interesting things in there. There are some funny quotes and cartoons in there. I always found psychology interesting thanks to my psych teacher in high school. That reminds me, I'll have to thank Ms. LeClair too for being a great psych teacher. Oh, looks like time is up!
I want to start with a simple color. Let's say blue. When I think of blue I think of the ocean and where I live. I live in Brownsville Texas. It's "on the border by the sea"  That's like the Brownsville saying. I also think of baby blankets, actually my baby blanket. This leads me to thinking about a George Strait song entitled "Baby Blue". It's a song about his daughter that passed away in a car accident. He's describing her eyes and what he thinks about every day. That has to be hard to deal with. A death in the family is such a detrimental thing to cope with. Fortunately my family has never had an immediate family member pass away. The closest I've been to a loved one that has died, was my great-grandmother. I've also had my girlfriend lose her great-grandmother and her grandmother right after each other. I went to those funerals. I really don't like them very much, It's extremely sad for all the loved ones mourning the death. I guess this leads me to thinking about the color black. It's weird that people usually associate things or ideas to color. I guess it's because we're such a vivid creature. Our vision capabilities are quite advanced when compared to those of other animals. We, humans, are able to see most of the spectrum, all we cant see is the ultra-violet end and the, oh I forgot, I think it's the infer red side as well. We might excel in vision, but are still very primitive in the sense of smell. When we compare our smelling to that of canines, all I can say is that they are able to smell around 100-1000 times better than us. Back to black. Jet Black is favorite color, or at least it used to be. I really enjoy viewing the colors of nature. I have found myself buying shirts the colors of nature. Like a dirt/green or pale/orange, light/yellow or sky/blue, the color of soil. I love the smell of the earth after it rains, it smells so pure, rich, I guess I associate that smell to nature. Imagine what a dog smells after it rains. Now that's something I wish I could take a whiff of. That's around 25 min. of writing. I want to say that this has been a great experience for me. It calmed me down from this hurried morning. I feel more at ease with myself, but I can't explain why. Well, I hope you've enjoyed this little talk with me. I know I'm not supposed to use "you" when writing a paper, but the instructions say that it's alright to fib a little in my grammar. Sorry for any misunderstandings. "Good-bye and Good-luck. "