well. how do I start? I suppose I'll just start by saying that I am very tired of school I don't even know why so soon I mean my classes aren't all that bad yet but I'm tired of waking up so early to catch the crowded bus and always having to walk everywhere in the heat one thing I am excited about is my boyfriend coming down in less than 9 days to visit me. he's from texas tech and I miss him so much the only bad thing is that I think that I'm hiding myself from the world because I feel safe enough with him that I block out the rest of the world and therefore I am not quite as social as I should be. but I'm really worried that I'm going to lose him and then where will I be? who will I have? oh well can't think of that right now. I'll enjoy my life with him for now long distance relationships are very hard. I don't quite know what will happen but I do know that he is very special to me and every guy I go out with in the future will be compared to him enough about the mushy stuff I'm living with my sister up here its really convenient she takes care of me and we don't really fight a lot she's sick right now I don't know what to do except for buy her medicine I'm a bad nurse oh wells I can't believe we have been in school for bout 2 weeks now. it feels like 2 months everything is moving by so slow I miss Dallas I can't wait to go back and visit my family and friends ill be going back in bout 2 weeks or so I hate it that I'm easily distracted when I start on my homework the tv usually gets to me because we have cable and so some really good movie will be on and ill sit there and watch it instead of working on my homework. that's really starting to become a habit and the thing is when the show is finally over and I start on my homework its already 12 and I'm pooped I need better study habits I'm currently a biology major. I don't even think that's what I'm going to follow through here I don't go out partying like most college students I think I should take advantage of my college years here but I really don't like the whole clubbing experience I'm full and I feel like vomiting. I think I ate too many chicken wings. oh wells I hate the computer I'm on the internet connection is really slow and I hate tying on a laptop computer. I'm use to the normal ones I still have a lot of reading to do I have to finish reading in this class and in biology. I hope I don't bomb any of my classes my parents expect me not to since my sister is here and will show me the ropes. do you know how much pressure that is? I feel as if I never seem to make my parents proud enough it comes with the territory. being the middle child is really hard anyways. I miss chili our chinchilla ill get to keep him for about 3 weeks so I'm really excited our apartment is so messy we live like boys I'm getting really tired already. I think ill be up late yet again tonight ill shower tomorrow morning I've dyed my hair 5 times and yet it wont give me the color I want I'm so frustrated I'm frustrated with life with school with love everything when I took the pretesting thing I felt so depressed. everything I was answering about myself was so negative. in some way and so I felt really bad once I was done. that reminds me I have to go check out that bulletin board to check out some experiments I could to do obtain my 5 hours actually now 3 1/2 which is great. I hope they don't make me do anything really weird I'm kind of hesitant to do that stuff oh wells I haven't been out a lot since I've been here in Austin I'm kind of homesick. I miss the simple life I lead when I was in Dallas everything has changed things are not so simple anymore I fell as though I'm not as happy here I don't know why though. don't worry. I'm not suicidal or anything I just wish I knew what was bugging me I think. actually I hope things will be fine soon this year is moving by so slow. and its so hard making friends I have at least one friend in each class except for chemistry that really bad because you should really have a study partner in that class I think ill have to make friends in there soon I feel stress stress from the world everything I hate it I get stressed easily sleep is overcoming me. I have to stay awake. I'm already behind in my readings can't get even more behind. I need a major massage my shoulders are so tense. my whole body is tense I like these kinds of writing assignments because it helps release some of my emotions hidden inside some stress has lifted but there's still a lot there well. my time has ended. its been 20 minutes 20 minutes that have flown by ill end it on this note. I need some sleep. I'm going to sleep goodbye.