Lately, I have been having all sorts of feelings. All my life I have lived in San Antonio, TX and now moving to Austin feels so different. I feel so lonely because I barely have any friends in Austin and I am to shy to approach people. Hopefully my year will get better. I don't think that my roomate is too fond of me. I don't understand why she barely talks to me? I try to be friendly. All I do all day is read or call my friends back in San Antonio so that I don't feel lonely. It's odd really that I talk to my mom quite often on the phone.    On top of that I have problems with my boyfriend. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I am having serious trust issuses. I have been with him for four years and I should be able to trust him, but he lives so far away and i don't get to see him much. How do I know if he's doing any thing behind my back? Should I even think like this? Does he trust me? I really do love him. Only recently did I discover that I love him. I wonder if the two of us will ever be together in the future. I really hate my culture when it comes to this kind of stuff. Why do we have to have arranged marriages? What is the point in that?       I hope I do well in school this year. Last year I got good grades, but i really want to make my parent sproud. I feel bad fo rthem really. They pay so much money for my education and living. I feel as though I owe it to them to make them proud after all that they do for me. I really should get a job, but my schedule really doesn't allow me to. I'm not done with class till 5 everyday and I start the day as early as 8. Hopefully next year my schedule will be better and I can get a job and take on some responsibilities for myself.    Living away from home is so different. It's strange really. I didn't think that I would miss home so much. I was so glad to finally leave and be on my own and have freedom. I don't even know where anything is in Austin and I hate bothering the people that I do know in Austin for directions. I don't know if it bothers them that I keep calling.     Maybe I should join a sorority or something so that I can meet more people. I wonder if I can even handle being in a sorority with school work though.      I can't believe I actually decided to change my major. From computer science to nursing, wow that's a big change. Well all I know is that I want to do something dealing with kids because I love kids and they usually love me. I don't want to be a teacher and not a doctor because that is way to much schooling for me. I think being a pediatric nurse will give me the oppurtunity to interact with children and help them. If only my mom would be happy with the decision I made. I don't know what her problem is anyways. It's my life, I should be able to do what I want and what make me happy.     To tell you the truth about what i am thinking at the moment right now, I am really scared about this writing assignment my hands are shaking and I have no idea why. It should be easy for me like writing in my diary . I guess it's because of the fact that I am going to be graded on it. O well, hopefully I do well.     I'm really tired and my back is hurting me and my time is almost up, so goodbye i'm going to sleep.