ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
Well I'm finally doing this writing assignment. It was not in my mind at all so I totally forgot about this stuff. This assignment is taking me back to the seventh grade because in my English class. damn I keep messing up on my typing. well back to what I was talkin about. We had to write at the beginning of every class for five or ten minutes about anything that came to our mind; of course if we didnt wanna write a story or something. So what I would write a lot is something like "I think this writing assignment sucks, . its stupid. and Im bored. I'm bored. ", on and on and on. I also just would like keeping writing the alphabet in random order. Well now I'm listening to this tired ass song from Puff Daddy, "Ill Be Missin You"  It talks about death of a friend. To me that is very scary. Cuz I always imagine how it would feel when you die or like where do you go. Its just a scary feelin that you dont know when we might not be here anymore. I had a few people that I knew die. Its just a sad thought. Now Im thinking about how college isnt that bad. Only if it wasnt for me being lost in Calculus. I mean I shouldnt have any trouble; I was Valedictorian and I feel very stupid, upset, frustrated, and scared. Oh shit. I just flinched cuz I got startled by the fact that some guy across the hall here just slammed the door very, very hard. Two times and said "jack ass" so loud that I heard him while Im sittin here typing in my dorm room. Well I need to start getting on the ball and do all my reading and homework, especially in Calculus. For some odd reason its just not clicking for me. and math is supposedly one of my best subjects. I guess that was in high school. and I even took calc. last year. Oh, now the Men In Black song is playing. I think that that movie wasn't as good as it was in the previews. So now I dont really have anything else to talk about. Actually I cant wait to talk about my college experience cuz boy do I have some problems right now. Oh damn there's a phone call and I got up to get it but I dont know what happened. Well Im going to be going home tomorrow so Im not going to the UT vs. Rutgers on Sat. I think Im gonna go to the library in a few minutes after I finish writing on here. Im actually finished so I guess Im Out. PEACE.
As I start this essay I am feeling a little wary because I am doing it a little late. I am starting to think about what to write. I think that if I don't write something intellingent I will come off as dumb or ignorant as to what I am feeling. I am also thinking erotic thoughts. I am also feeling embarassed for writing that down. I am scared that after reading this you will think that I am a pervert (which I am not). I am once again thinking about what to write; once again thinking that if I don't write something smart I will come off as dumb. I am beginning to think of friends from back home. People I left behind, family, friends, teachers with whom I had pretty good relationships. I am now thinking of a conversation I had with two other friends on a very private issue. My father comes into my head also, times I have spent with him after he and my mother seperated. Then I think of times with my stepmother and how my mother would dislike it if she knew that I acknowledge her as someone related to me. I am now feeling a little anxious because I do not want my sister to come home right now and see that I wrote something about having erotic thoughts. I now am thinking of a girl in one of my classes. It isn't erotic, I am just thinking of what she looks like in the class and how I would like to talk to her sometime. Then I start to feel a little down because I haven't made any really close friends in college yet, just aquaintences. Again I am thinking about what to write. I just got an image of the capitol as it looks from the tower and I just thought about the tower. I think about going to Mezes hall to sign up for an experiment. I am now worrying again because I haven't signed up for one.
I feel tired and sleepy. I feel that I just want to go to sleep right now. I feel this assignment is making me sleepier. I also feel pain in my stomach and want to do something about it. I feel that I just want to get up go to sleep. I feel that this assignment is boring and really unnecessary. I feel like my stomach is going to explode. I also feel a little stress because of all the things that I want to accomplish today with the little time to do it. I feel that this assignment is never going to end and that my thoughts are just blank right now. I want to get up and go do the things that are really important. My body aches from moving around too much. My stomach still feels like it's going to explode and I can't do anything about it. I'm thinking that I want to call my sister see how everything is going. I talked to her yesterday and it made feel good because I have been feeling kind of homesick and depressed. She is like my life advisor because she is always helping me out with stuff. I feel like I've through a whole semester of school work and I just want to take a vacation and relax and play basketball all day long. Playing basketball is the only thing lately that makes feel good. I play a lot but I get tired quick so I can't always play to my full potential. Sometimes I just don't want to do anything else during the day so I could just play basketball I work on my game. I wish that I could play all day long and never have to worry about anything else. Right now I'm thinking if the major I chose is the right one for me. I don't know if I'm cut out for business. Sometimes I feel like I want to devote my time to writing screenplays and playing basketball. I feel like the whole world is holding me back from doing so. Sometimes I feel like doing something drastic and just drop out of school and live in southern California, a place that I absolutely love. I also wish I could transfer out of here. I never really wanted to be here. There's too many people with far different attitudes and goals than mine. I wish I was attending college in the northeast, but I would only pursue that if I were sure what I want my major to be. I don't a like a whole lot of things here now that I think about it. I was hoping my attitude about this stupid school would change once I got here but it hasn't. I knew I was going to feel depressed when I came here and that's exactly how I feel. Things are moving too slow and I want them to move fast. I'm impatient right now because I feel I have been patient for too long. Having an anti-social, computer nerd for a roommate doesn't help much either. His attitude and introvertedness sometime irritates me. I wish I had a different roommate. I feel that school screwed me with this. Now I feel that I really wish that I could transfer. I just want to be in a better environment, hopefully somewhere I could find people like me.
I called her to ask how to cook a  roast. I think it's funny how much I still depend on her - how much I still need her. I call her almost everyday. Sometimes just to hear her voice. It seems to comfort me and I don't really know why. Thank God she has a  1-800 number at her office, otherwise I would have to call collect and she probably wouldn't appreciate that. When I put the roast in the oven, I  started to think about all the meals she has ever cooked me. I wonder where she came up with all of her ideas. I only know how to cook three meals, and  they are not even that good. I wonder if my mom was born a good cook. She  probably was. That's what my dad says anyway. I kind of hope she wasn't  though, because then there might be hope for me. She told me that she taught herself. I hate when people say that. She had to have learned how somewhere. Maybe my grandmother taught her. She told me that she didn't, but she  probably did. My mom doesn't like my grandmother, so she probably doesn't  want to give her credit for anything. I guess I don't blame her. Now the  roast is starting to smell good. I love it when you come home and the whole place is filled with a mouth-watering aroma. Delicious! But it always smells the best when you're the one who is cooking. I wonder why that is. Maybe  it's because you-yourself created it. It's your own little personal accomplishment. I can't wait to taste my accomplishment.
well after being the first day of school, I really wonder how much harder the clsses will be. astronomy seems easy enoughas it is intended for non-science majors. but dr. pennebaker said that the class wouldbe hard. Doing assignments are no problem but I worry about the test. like what am I going to make?  will I get an a?  will my parents ever get off my back. I dunno. I'm also concerned about labor day and this weekend like whter or not I shouyld go home to go the wedding or do I not want to see my parents my suitemate is going to get hammered as she puit it just a minute ago on a wednesday night!  for goodness sake why do our parents pay 15,000 a year for their kids to fail out of college?   that is so weird anyways I think drinking is bad foryou but I only like to drink winecooolers because they taste good I wonder whether or not I should sratch my foot it itches my typing has gotten really really really really badly anyways my tummy hurts and I have to see the gyno on monday about menstrual cycles from the looks of it college is not going to be as funas most people make it out to be I mean aren;t you supposed to party?  but all I do is study I need to change this mp3 this song is annoying now I'm listening to creep by radiohead is makes me a little depressed and I think that my roomate is making microwave mac and cheese I like my new diet but it seems like no one ever believes it but I have lost 17 lbs so that is something I think I'll get up at 7 to workout tomorrow anouther mile will be good I wonder if michelle is really going to read this?  MICHELLE!  HEY!  read me!HELP ME!  I need to make good grades so I can get a phd too with a lot of work and time and stress though!  I want to take sign language too!  so I can talk to deaf people about their problems. I'm sure they have them too!  I also want to open a place called the de-stresser. I could counsel people while in other rooms of the building there will be stress reliving rooms such as a sauna, pool, coffee place, and a massage therapy place amd even better a laser tag or virtual reality hunting game. hm. my bf is msging me on icq I just told him that I'll answer in 6 mins  I hate history classes what a perfect soul what you should know I'm not around so special I wish I was special but I'm a creep io'm a weirdo but how much can I take I don't belong here oh oh oh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. this song is getting on my nerves what about an areosmith song?  cheese and mac smells good!  pink is my new obessseion pink is not even a question pink is my favortie pink its the color of passion cause today its in fashion pink it was love at sight pink its time to turn out the light!  you could be my famingo cause pink is a new kinda lingo pink like an umbrella pink that you could never tell  you pink it was love at first sight pink when I turn out the light pink gets me high as a kite!
This the third time that I am typing this thing. I am so frustrated. Every time I get close to the 20 minutes I get cut off. There is a party I want to go to now I am here stuck here spending an hour doing this thing. I don't know what to type because I am tired of staring at this screen. It seems as if in the past two weeks  I have had no time to myself. Between pledgship, school, and studying, I have no time. The only time I spend in my room, is done sleeping. I am just going to describe what is going on in sportscenter because I haven't watched it in about a week. Chris Berman is talking about the upcoming pro football games this weekend. I used to idolize berman. I also liked dick vitale. I was so obsessed that I wrote him a letter. a few weeks later I got a copy of his book with a personalized note on the inside. I am halfway done!   I am starting to calm down. I have never been to hot-headed. I try to keep a level head all the time. The only time I really cut loose is when I am in a competition that I feel I can win. this may not be very often but when it does happen I thrive on the situation. Only eight minutes left. I really respect Pudge Rodriguez. he is the catcher for the rangers, my hometown team. I also like ken griffey jr, he seems like a team player that gives his all every game. mo vaughn is a very large man, he won't win any stolen bases titles anytime. only five minutes left. I like the expos and pirates, just because every year they are competitive even though they have no money to win with. they are building their team through the farm systems, which is how it should be done. I hope to get good grades. I wish this assignment was over. I love college football. I loved to play football but I never was big enough of fast enough to play up to the level I wanted to . I hate danny  schayes. his dad was a great basketball player. One minute left!!  my favorite team is the cowboys. I love going to the games and cheering them on to victory. I think my time is up so I will write later!  the simpsons is the best show on tv by the way. and caddyshack is the bast movie ever!
So right now I'm trying to hold myself together. I have so much on my mind that its actually a relief to do this assignment even though its holding my back from a deadline. I recently tryed out for Texas Sirits and shockingly I made the first cut. Wow, out of 300 girls I was one of the eighty to be chosen. THe bad news is that I have to do another   creative   project which equals time and money, two things that are in low supply right now. I hate money. People always say,   money can't by you happiness    but I beg to differ. If you have money then you don't have to worry about finding a place you can afford that isnt 10 miles away from campus, or where you're next meal is comming from. It really is the little things for me though. I would like that extra size ice-cream. or another UT t-shirt. However, Mr. Budget steps in {A good friend of my dads} and prevents me from enjoying the extra   perks   of life. I'm sure I'll look back some day and laugh or maybe this is just one of those challenges in a certain stage of our lives life. Maybe if all the college kids were well off it would disrupt the order of the world. Ramen Noddeles would go out of bussines. Taco Bell would close down. And sadly second hand stores would be no more. Wow i really need to finish my project! Its due in a couple of min. I feel like I'm allways rushing around. My life is one big traffic jam. How is this? maybe I take on too much. But other people take on just as much if not more and they seem in control. I wonder if people think I'm in control? Ha that would be the greatest prank of the decade! OK is ths almost over cause i really got to go. . yes almost.
I guess I'll just start out by explaining how I feel right now. Because of school, I've been feeling really stressed. Although because of our class I'm not really sure what stress is. To me stress is when I have a lot to do and no time to rest and relax. I haven't been getting as much sleep as I usually do at home, but it doesn't ever feel late at my dorm because everyone's up late. I feel like my whole life is school right now. I live on campus, don't have a car here with me to get away from campus and my classes are spread out all during the day. By the time I get to my dorm in between classes I have to leave in 30 minutes to get to another class 15 minutes away. The days have been going by really fast though. I'm always so busy. I try to just get my work done during the week so I can go out on the weekend and have fun. I'm really excited about college because already I've learned so much. I feel like I'm being able to think better about things. Or I guess maybe deeper about things. Not just school related stuff but stuff about life as well. I've begun to think more about what I want and what type of person more about my opinion on things. I guess you sort of have to be like that at UT, because there are so many people. In high school no one really expressed themselves like the do in college. A lot of the classes push that during the discussion times I guess because the classes are so large. Our psychology class is bigger than my graduating class in high school, and everyone else I talk to have an even smaller class than I did. It's really weird but I keep seeing the same people in a lot of classes. I know of 5 people that are in 3 of my classes. Maybe it's just that I recognize them. I still don't really know what to expect from my classes. Most of them seem interesting except for Calculus and Economics. I really like the experiments we do in class. Ugh, I can't think of anything else to write about. I hope this is the way we were supposed to write this. Actually it's helped me relax and get out some of my feelings even though no one will read this. So I guess it's sort of like a journal. I actually don't feel as stressed now that I've gotten this done. It's one less thing I have to worry about. Now I have to figure out how to copy and paste it. I'm not very good with computers.
go back back back to the disaster . I can't get that song out of my head. It was so weird on Courtney's board I couldn't understands what it meant till I read it out loud I wonder if spelling counts on this and if you can go back and correct mis spelled words  like they care. I am so bored but so excite about the job I have essentially been doing the same thing for the past three years and I think that I can handle the work load but this is college and its suppose TO BE HARDER BUT SO FAR IT HASN'T BEEN I STILL NEED TO read some of the info in the art history book that girl pre adviser said it would be fun but so far it has been a snooze feast. what else to write about I though that I would have bad dreams after watching train spotting with the dead baby in the cradle but I really having been dreaming much probably because I stay up half the night hanging out with the hall everybody seems pretty nice and all the guy are hot especially matt oh baby but I think that he likes Courtney everybody likes Courtney she has that Chicago accent and she pretty and nice I couldn't even get drunk guys to dance with me on Saturday the only guy I danced with was p and then when Steve said sorry to interrupt while we were dancing he said there was nothing to interrupt what a jerky think to say I mean I was standing right there it wasn't like he was drunk and didn't know what he was saying pritvi is funny but quite the little gossiper I really like my floor when they offer me a spot out side of supplemental housing I probably won't take I because I know so many people here and hopeful we can become good friends I haven't had any real friends for the past few years I been so involved in school but the weekends were so boring with out a school activity to do I seen a movie with a group of kids  twice one was after a school event and the other was after a church h think. I saw movies that I didn't want to see and it was pretty much like any other movie I've seen by myself but I remember them better I only have ten more minutes left I like to count I'm always counting things like yesterday I counted lance Armstrong bracelets 9 on the way to the theater building and seven on the was back Courtney's doesn't count could I didn't see it on the walk I am so bored right now but I am going to be so busy with soccer, broccoli project, circle k, and hopefully crew or rowing which sound the same to me but apparently with rowing you only have one ore and with crew you have two I don't know what else to right where is Chris I so think that he forgot to knock on my door and just went off to lunch with Courtney. I can't believe he slept with jo I mean they had just met and a hour ago she had been kissing Steven I mean if I was Steven I would have been pissed what if all my thought were filled with profanity since I don't cuss I just thought about it constantly but I think cussing is stupid and you have to be a certain type of person to say certain words I sound so stupid when I cuss
ok i have been a little nervous about this assignment, not too nervous but a little. i'm kind of a quiet person so writing my thoughts for twenty minutes is a little intimidating. i don't really like how a lot of the stuff we do in psychology is over the internet. i guess it's convenient, but the internet messes up a lot. it is working today though. i just bought tickets for jimmy eat world over the internet. they are one of my favorite bands. my best friend, kristina, is coming up here to go to the concert with me. i miss her a lot! i need to clean my room. courtney, my roommate, has cleaned up a little. i don't think she cares too much that i am messy. she's messy too. she is from my hometown, so i knew her before we lived together here. we are getting really close. i'm glad we decided to live together. i'm glad i didn't wait til the last minute to do this assignment. i need to do my calculus and physics homework too. i also need to, well i don't need to but i want to go get a DVD called waking life. it is really good. it is a movie that makes me think because it questions reality. i like movies like that. i've been thinking about doing stuff with movies as a career, like visual arts type stuff, but that's only if i don't get into the architecture department. i need to take this psychology course because i will need to know how colors affect people's emotions if i am going to major in interior design. that really intrests me. i need to call kristina and tell her that i got the jimmy eat world tickets. she was at my friend jory's house the last time i talked to her. i miss jory a lot too. i haven't seen her in a long time. me and kristina and jory have been friends for a long time, since seventh grade. i miss them a lot. i need to call my friend cherry too. she lives in oklahoma because that's where she is going to college. i have about four minutes left. i hope this is the kind of stuff you wanted us to write. i guess it is because this is what i'm thinking about. i hope it doesn't matter that i didn't capitalize the word   i.  i never do even when i write unless it is in a paper i need to turn in for english class. my senior english teacher is a really nice lady. i really admire her. she is very encouraging. i miss her too. bye