Right now I am sitting in my room. my TV ison and I'm actually feeling a bit nervous about this incoming school year. I have never been away from home and i have never been on a university campus that had as many people as UT does. Right now I'm here in my dorm room, it kind of smells like B. O. , but I think that's because we prolly haven't cleaned up the mess that my room-mate and I have made. The TV is on right now and it's kind of distracting but I'm not going to say anythign because I would consider that rude. Is it bad that I put other peoples concerns and feelings ahead of mine. Dosen't that make me a less ambitious person?to tell yout he truth I really don't care what others think about me. All i care about is what I think of myself, and whether I'm happy with myself or not. At this point I'm happy that i actually got out of my home town. I miss it though. I really don't think that I was ready to go, maybe in another year or so. Is it bad that I don't like school?I know that it's only going to   benefit my future   and get em a six figure income with a house, three kids, two cars, a cat and be able to spend money and not worry about it. it sounds pretty sweet doesn't it. People don't really consider all the work that has to go into it but that's only to be expected. It does not cost anything to dream. I'm sure that it's all worth it though. having completed something that has put you farther ahea in life then the next guy. I'm sure that there will be plenty of oppotunities to make really good money with a degree, or two for that matter. I think that i'm really just nervous about living up to my own expectations. I set really high standards for myself and if they are not met then I have a total break down. I feel as though I am a failure and I probably will not amount to anything. If you can't tell i don't have that great of a self-esteem. I'm sure that by now you can tell that. I'm very intimidated by stadium classrooms. I'm very much more comfortable with a 35:1 ratio classes. I'm only hoping to pass all my classes with the very least a   B   I would say   A   but that goes back to my really high standards. Instead of being dissappointed I would rather achieve something that I know that I can probably complete. I think that this kind of puts me in a comfort zone because then i will never find out what my full potential might be. I will always wonder if I was ever able to fufill that   A   that i wasnt but never really went for. Does this make me a bad person? I think not. I'm really considering going to a university back home. I'm here in the college of Fine Arts in the Dance department. What can you really do with a BFA in Dance? I'm sorry but you can only dance for so long, and what happens if you have an injury? There goes your career and you have nothing to fall back on. I think that it's rediculous that you can't minor in dance. I'm very dissappointed in the dance department here. i actually thought that it would be better than it came out to be. I understand that UT isn't a specialized conservatory in the Arts, but if you are going to offer a major in Dance, at least offer an emphasis or a concentration. I am really considering majoring in Psychology with a minor in Dance. The university back home, University of the Incarnet Word, offers a minor in dance and a major in Psychology which sounds like the perfect program. I was also thinking about Mass Media. I was thinking about being a talent agent. I need to do something that i can see myself doing for the rest of my life. I'm not sure what that is right now.