ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
I don't really want to go to my BA101 class today. Sleep sounds so good right now. I don't think I have enough energy to sit through another hour and half class, since this morning I sat through three of them in a row. Oh yeah I better remember to call Sheetal so we can go study at the PCL or FAC. I don't know if I want to study with a whole group of people but maybe I'll give it a try. This is so cool. Getting graded on a writing assignment that is of our thoughts and feelings. Reminds me of my summer English 1301 class that I took where we had to write journals everyday and as long as we did them and turned them in it was ok. It is sooo freaking hot outside. And I am so tired, mainly because of the heat. Hmmm. I wonder if Nancy has called. I feel so bad for her. Anyways, that is kind of depressing just thinking about it. I feel so stressed out. These first three weeks at UT has been busy. Not with work and stuff but with things like getting everything together and making sure that I have insurance, my checking account is correct and other important things. I miss the home food so much! But I'll live, it's not too bad over here. I haven't seen any guys here. Hahah! Well I have but I don't think I will end up dating any right now. My hands are getting so tired right now. I really feel like sleeping. I think after BA101 I will go to eat at Kinsolving and then head to the library or something. These labs and libraries on campus are so good. They have everything and you can use them whenever. Stephanie should be coming next Thursday to that Career Day thing so hopefully I'll see her. I am so confused on what to go into, like majors and stuff. I'm thinking about MIS but marketing sounds so good right now. Like I'm more interested in that kind of stuff and things that I really would enjoy doing. I know it doesn't have a lot of money or anything, but that is not what is important really to me. I mean yeah I want to earn a good living but that's not my main goal in life to be rich more like be happy. So I don't know. Just a confused freshman I guess!. Maybe I'll find out pretty soon. Man this time is going by so slowly. I've only been writing for ten minutes. Just realized how many thoughts flow through my mind in such small amount of time. Man I hope I get a chance to do a project because I do not want to write a paper. That sounds too boring. Being a part of an experiment sounds so cool, never really done that before. Ok I wish I had my headphones, too like the girl next to me. I need to listen to some music. I wonder if we are all going to go out this Thursday night to sixth street. I kind of want to. I feel so bad for Sarika, cause of her roommate. She is kind of mean, actually she is very rude and catches an attitude with every little thing. Even if she does not know you, she'll be so rude. Dang girl. Hahah. Ok well I need to find where my BA101 class is so I will be going now. So much for this writing assignment! I think my twenty minutes are up. Well actually they are almost up. But it said at least. Oh well I guess I'll go anyway.
In this present moment I feel slightly irritated due to the fact that earlier  today I was not able to surf the internet on America Online. The problem of surfing the internet could have been easily solved by going to a computer lab  in my dormitory(Jester) and logging on to the internet from there. However. my focus was to locate some friends on the internet. This feature is exclusive to America Online and not possible to achieve in the Jester Computer lab. Ultimately I gave up and now I am in the process of typing this 'stream of consciousness'. Another issue on my mind. even though it may sound trivial is table tennis. Earlier in the day my friends and I were unable to get an open table which irritated me. Truthfully, I will admit that I am fairly easily irritated. I think that a large blame on this problem rests on my tendency to be a perfectionist. When things do not get done, or do not get done the way that I want. I get really irritated.   On a good note, one good aspect about myself is that I realize my shortcomings. I am trying my best to overcome these bad tendencies that I have. In my opinion, college means to me a clean slate in which I can start over. I am trying my best to get off and remain on the right foot. One of my foremost goals is to meet new colleagues and friends. Friendship is very important to me. Without friends. the road of life would be lonely indeed. Whether these friends are so called 'e-friends' that I keep in touch with over the internet, or friends I know in person. they are equally important.   While I am on the 'e-friend' topic. I feel compelled to mention an incident that happened to me on the internet. I met a nice female an America Online. Considering that America Online is the largest internet provider in the world. I was very surprised that this person  happened to live in close proximity of me. We set up a rendezvous at a coffee  house in which we met in person. We had a good time. This just shows how the world is smaller than it seems. In addition. I also keep in touch with e-friends in such places and Germany and Singapore. It is very interesting to converse with them.    As you can probably tell. I am very much a technophile. I love anything electronic and I especially love computers. But of most importance to me as I mentioned already are friends. I guess I could say the prevalent topic in this 'stream of consciousness' is friendship. To tell the truth. if any of my e-friends were severed from my acquaintance, be it by losing touch or just plain not talking to me any more, I would be extremely upset. However. I know it cant last forever. Sometimes it seems that nothing will last forever. I guess sometimes we just have to move on.
so here I am trying to figure out what it is that I am thinking. maybe I shouldn't have given advice to genevieve about her mother. I don't  really know the situation and even more than that the little that I do know. I have never experienced. adrian too. he must really be having a difficult time dealing with the death of his mother. man, my finger really hurts. the manicurist was trying to drill my cuticles off. but they're pretty. I don't know what I should do with the whole beta thing. they are all nice, but I am tired of being pressured into situations that I am not comfortable. maybe I set myself up for it. right now I am a little emabrassed because I am really hungry and these 20 minutes are not passing quick enough. I know the instructions say not to worry about grammer and spelling, but it's really hard to read my own writing and have all these misspelled words pop up. nose itches. I wonder if I will be able to handle rush and my classes. as it is I am already blowing off my other classes for organic. even more than that, I hope I get my financial \aid in on time. I really do feel bad about making my father feel like he wasn;t there for me. my mom says that it'll work itself out but this whole financial crap really is upsetting. I know of families that have been torn apart beacuse of that. all I know is that they'll have my ass until I am like 40. which really sucks. an education shouldn't be so expensive that once you get one and start a job you are so in the hole that you're broke all the time. maybe I should drop out and og to massage therapy school like I wanted to a long time ago. I can't believe  that I haven't heard from dannee. I am really upset about what our friendship has become. sometimes I even think of andy and I don;t know why. he's probably happily married with a kid. (I am really glad that it's not my kid, though. cause then I'd really be screwed with the whole moiney thing) 5 more minutes. I can't believe how little I have written. I must be the slowest typer. there's my stomach again. at least I don't have any classes today. that way I can print up my organic and biology and go home to eat. even when I get there I don't know how to react with genevieve. she complains about her mother and then does the exact thing that she complains about. I bet I do the same thing. wow that guy is really talking very loud. I wonder why (2 minutes) people walk aroiund libraries talking so loud. how inconsiderate. I even had a wierd dream last night. but I think if I were to think about it now my finers would not be able  to type quick enough to write it in the last couple of minutes. I wonder who called us this morning at like 7:30. good thing I was able to fall back to sleep.
I think college is going to be the best part of my life. Coming from my high school, it seemed hopeless to find a place where I'd fit in. UT has such a wide diversity of people and so many ways to meet new people, that I think, I will have no problem finding someone like me. Of course, right now, I'm still a little shy about talking to people but hopefully that will change. I really want to join a soroity and become active in as many Hispanic and other multicultural events or projects as my schedule will allow. Maybe this will help me find the kind of people that can relate to me. Even though I only know a couple of people on campus, I feel more comfortable there than I ever did in high school.          Outside of school, things are good at home. I have all the love and support than I can ever ask for from my family. Without them I don't know where I'd be. I love them very much. I don't know why I can't tell them that. I guess I'm just too stubborn. I also get a lot of support from my boyfriend. Even though I didn't really want a boyfriend, I'm glad he's there. He brings a lot of fun to my life. I hope school doesn't take away my time for him. I know its going to though, ecspecially if I join all the organizations that I want.            Overall,I'm satisfied with everything. I know its going to be a long and hard four years, but I'm looking forward to walking the stage with an engineering major.
After my first week at the University of Texas, my mind is filled with a mixture of thoughts and emotions. On one hand, I am excited about starting at a new school and the opportunities that await me. However, I also worry whether I'll be able to balance the social aspect of my life with the challenges of school. First and foremost in my mind presently is pledgeship, which is drawing constantly nearer. What am I going to have to do? How am I going to be able to stay at the house all night and do others' chores and keep a good GPA? It will surely be difficult, but I am fairly confident I can do it. I have always been successful at overcoming challenges in my life. The hardships of pledgeship combined with the rigors of being in the business honors program should make for a busy semester, to say the least. I feel a great amount of pressure to perform. I have to make at least a 3. 5 to stay in the BHP, and 3. 25 to keep my scholarship money. This is the root of the nervous feelings within me. There is also a great deal to be excited about this semester also. I am excited about the experiences I will have, the people I will meet, and the friends I will make. This semester will be unlike any other I've had in my life. Thinking of the times I've had in the past 9 days since I arrived here makes me certain I chose a great school to attend. The BHP will offer me incredible future opportunities, and the friendships I forge with my pledge brothers will last a lifetime. I still can't believe that I'm already in college and moved away from home. I will face a great number of challenges this semester, but I am excited about them and overcoming these challenges will make this semester all the more rewarding.
Here I am at UGL with Hyojin and Lois. They are both doing their homework and studying. All I've done since I got here is waste my time and distract my friends from doing their work. I should be doing my reading for tomorrow, but I keep procrastinating, so I decided to finish my assignment for Psychology instead. There is so much reading to do in college. It's kind of over whelming, but I guess it's all about time management. I can't wait until the weekend. Not for any particular reason, just because the weekend is the best and most relaxing part of the week. Oh, and also, I'm going back to Dallas this weekend with my brother. It's my mom's birthday. What should I get her for her birthday? I asked her and she keeps telling me not to get her anything for her birthday, but I'm pretty sure that translates into "get me something good. " Actually, that would be me. Mom's not really like that. Maybe I really shouldn't get her anything. I don't know, I don't think she's going to have a very happy birthday though. Especially after the news she heard about our cousins. What is wrong with my uncle? Why is he abandoning his family like that? I think my aunt might have asked my mom for money. Oh well, I guess my parents will figure something out. I wonder where my friends went? They just disappeared. I guess they both left while I was writing this thing and now I'm left all alone. Maybe I should eat some of those Goldfish. No, I cannot. I vow not to gain the "freshman fifteen". I'm tired. I wonder if I'm even doing this assignment right. I hope so. I really want to do well this semester. Yea! 4. 0! Well, we'll see. Psychology's such a big class though. I wonder if they're going to go through and read each one of these. Probably not. Actually, I think the professor was saying that they weren't going to. So I could just write a whole bunch of nonsense and I guess they wouldn't even notice. My sociology professor cusses a lot. I don't really mind, but every time he does it, I'm kind of taken aback. Sociology's actually really interesting. More interesting than I thought it would be. Maybe I should be a sociology major. Maybe not. I need to hurry and declare my major. I feel so lost as a Liberal Arts undecided student. Actually you know what though? All my classes are kind of similar. Maybe it's because they're all sciences but they're all talking about scientific method and random sampling. Maybe that's because it's the beginning. My friend came back. She took a long time. I want to talk to her and ask her where she went, but I can't until I finish recording my thoughts for psychology. My gum is getting really nasty, all soft and about to dissolve. I feel like my teeth are rotting. I should really stop chewing gum. I feel like my jaws are expanding. I heard that somewhere, that if you chew a lot of gum, your jaws will expand. Where did I hear that? Oh well, time's up. I hope I did the assignment right.
Wow this is actually a cool writing assignment. I would have never expected to be asked to sit here at my computer and just write what I am thinking for a 20 minute period. I have just gotten back from a meeting about the Texas Lonestars organization and LOVED it!  The only problem is that I am just a freshman still getting use to the whole college life and time management thing. I am kind of stressed out (but not nearly as bad as I know I can get sometimes) just because I am pre med and I know that I really need to concentrate on my grades and school work while also getting involved. Getting involved, however has never been a problem for me. I love to be involved in everything. Now that is a problem because if I spread myself too thin I am not going to be able to put forth my best in each venue. I know for sure that I want to do something involving dance because it has been such an intricate part of my life for so long and is truly one of my passions. I am going to try out for the Roustabouts and the Steel Dance Company. I am beginning to get nervous just because I haven't really gotten the chance to practice anywhere here since I've been away from home. I hope that I am able to keep my grades really good while also having fun and enjoying my college experience. I know that I am here to get an education, but it's obvious to everyone that college doesn't just teach you knowlege in your courses that are suppose to be preparation for your career, but it's also a learning experience for life lessons. I feel that just in the week and a half that I have been here I have already become more responsible and determined.      It has been kind of hard switching from not only my hometown to a new, huge city, but also from summer and relaxation and the feeling of "yey school is over" to "wow, my life is just beginning, along with lots of studying that I don't really want to do. "  My life has just been kind of awkward lately anyway. I know that things are suppose to change when you go off to college in so many ways especially through your habits and relationships and mine definitely has. The fact that my family has been going through changes of its own has made me feel somewhat distant and like I don't belong. Yet, the funny thing is that I don't really care or maybe it's that I don't know how to make the effort to fit in again. My first time to go home will be to a different home than the one that I've lived in for the past four years (even though I lived there when I was younger) and I feel like it will just be weird to see how my family's lives have just king of carried on without me. I won't really understand my mom's relationship with the guy she is dating or how my brother is experiencing or enjoying high school. My dad is perhaps the only one that I will probably still feel just about the same with because I am use to not seeing him all the time. My time is almost up and as of right now I am just really hoping that, even though I may not be showing my priority to God right now, he will really just step into my life and help me control it in the right direction.
Right now I'm thinking about the situation I am going through with my two roommates. School has just started and it looks like we will soon be at each others' throats. I really hope we can find a way to not get on each others' nerves because we are such good friends. I'm also thinking about my life and the new frontiers I am beginning to encounter. I can't stop thinking about how the next four years of my life are going to turn out. I hope everything is as great as everyone says it is and has been. I also miss my mom very much. Even though I don't talk to her everyday on the phone, I can hear speaking to me with her heart. The same thing goes for me too. My classes and keeping a responsible daily routine are at the top of my priority list right now. I don't want anything to interfere with me doing an exceptional job in all of my courses. It really is a big change for me being here at a university. Back home school was a breeze. Now I can actually feel that I'm going to have to study, which will be a first for me. The good side to that is that I like challenges. One of my friends from back home, who is really close to me, is planning to move to Florida. There isn't anything wrong with that because he's "in love". I hope that he's making the right decision with the move and with her. I really care about him and I wouldn't want him to get hurt in any way. Although, I have a strange feeling that she might be the one for him. Either way he always has a lucky star just waiting to fall on him so that somewhat takes away a bit of my worriness. My other friends who are very close to me are still in my hometown going to school over there. I miss them all the time but I know that me being here is the best thing for me. For some reason I can't stop thinking about a girlfriend of mine who lives in San Antonio because she is attending St. Mary's University. There has always been an unspoken romance between us but we have never actually been together because we have never brought it up, but we know that something is there.
Today I skipped class for some reason. I don't know why I do these things. I know it is bad and I have nothing better to do, yet continuously I do this. What am I going to do with this major I have selected?. I don't even know if I what to stay in school. I want to work on my boat, and that is all. I need to finish the floors, fiberglass them. Add the carpet, insulate the cooler. Do all the engine work, hopefully the thing will run without incident. I need to buy coil wire, gas, carpet, foam padding, more fiberglass resin, collector gaskets, I already have the spark plugs. I hope nothing goes wrong because I accidentally hit the tab button and the web page backed up on me. If so when it happened I was five minutes into writing the paper. This keyboard is vastly uncomfortable and the next twelve minutes are going to suck. I am now typing with just one finger. I want Roy to bring his boat out this weekend. We could use my truck to put it in the water so I can look cool. That is of course if I fix the bastard. I wonder if someone reads this. What if I were to type a bunch of curse words. How would my grade change. Too bad I won't try this because my GPA sucks as it is right now, therefore I must be as courteous as possible. My hand now hurts extremely bad and I still have seven more minutes. Now I stood up to see if it helps my hands. It seems to work as long as I use the one finger method. I keep hitting the wrong buttons. I wonder if I could sue the professor for damage to my hands due to this project? Too bad the professor does not make jack for pay. I need to find a rich bastard to sue so I no longer have to attend school. If someone reads this I wonder if they think I am as sick as I really am. In case of technical difficulties my name is Steve Gernon. Not that a TA would have the brains, oops sorry about that. At this point there is one minute and I cannot wait. It's the best moment of my life. I can now leave this god awful position and get on with my life.
Ready, set, go. Wow, my grammar has gotten pretty bad. I wonder if this thing has, I hate these stupid pop ups, spell check. I just woke up, feel pretty worthless. Saw Pink Floyd played to the Wizard of Oz last night pretty cool probably cooler if I was stoned. Only been stoned once before, didn't like it, no desire to do it again. I'm a beer girl. Need to work out, clothes don't fit as well as they use to. Josh won't like that. I'm glad Laura is coming this weekend I hope she has fun. I really miss my family, I hope my sister can can, Fuck these pop ups, come up next weekend for Austin City Limits. I don't know where anyone went, they're probably eating lunch. Damn, 11 more minutes, I don't really know what else to write about, maybe or is maybe if I turn on some music. This is one of my favorite songs, I like it better than the original, I think it was remade for Good Will Hunting, it makes me feel so. I don't know, introspective. Bad word, but can't think of anything else. I love words, probably the only reason I did well on the SAT. Damn I'm still so tired, don't know why, must have slept for at least twelve hours. I think I might be getting sick. Spring break best vacation of my whole life, some of my favorite memories. Memories are an odd thing. I wonder why you remember the things you do. Walked into the GEO building the other day and the smell of it-deja vu-it was such an odd feeling, and I can't quite pin point what it reminded me of. I wish I knew. Deja vu is such a weird thing I knew more about it- what triggers it and everything, maybe some day.