well, I don't exactly know why I'm doing this, but I do enjoy the idea of trying to figure out what's in this head of mine. sharon's checking her email, but she will be leaving soon to go get a bagel. I'm not that hungry because I had a huge breakfast. there are a lot of people in this library. I wish I had internet connection at home because it would be so convenient. I wonder what my parents are doing right now. I wonder if their business is doing well. I wonder when they will be able to retire. I wonder when God will essentially allow them to stop working. God works in mysterious ways, and that's what makes him God I suppose. I'm really glad I got to talk to Paul last night online. He is a nice guy. I got to talk to carol too, but really didn't have much to say, which is not surprising. there's a lot of interesting different people here at UT. such a contrast from plano west, where everyone wants to be popular and only buys the best things in life. but are the things they think are the best really the best? don't think so. I miss home, but I really do enjoy it here at austin. I haven't been homesick at all, which might be a good thing or a bad thing. I feel like I abuse my parents so much, verbally. I don't ever take into consideration the fact that they have feelings too. I just say whatever to them and never think clearly. in a sense it is good to be comfortable with people, but being completely immune to their well-being is not good at all. why am I such a malicious person? I think sometimes being malicious on purpose might be better than being malicious without even thinking, because then that means that being malicious has become second nature. I really need to work out more often. I've gotten so freaking lazy, and as a result, fatter, or ?healthy? as my parents call it. why am I so frugal, actually it shouldn't even be considered frugality because it's to the point of stinginess, like scrooge. I don't get it. I try to not think about how much money I spend, but I get so greedy and selfish. I seriously think that if food wasn't so essential to life I would probably not eat and horde money all day. why God? actually I shouldn't be questioning you. I'm sorry. it's my fault. I am just an evil person. that's it. we are all just naturally evil. well, that sounds too Hobbes-like. we do have good in us, but we are all sinners no doubt. but I seem like my sins all go unnoticed because I do them so often and I don't realize it anymore. I've got 10 minutes left on this. shar's going to the restroom. I have so much reading to do. and sometimes I feel like I read and read and read and study, but then when I get to class I feel like I did nothing at all. wow, 10 minutes is a pretty long time. not when watching television or a movie. I guess time does fly when you're having fun. I wonder who thought that one up. I haven't seen a movie in the theater in awhile. I wish there was a dollar theater close by. I wish I could get a job. I wish I could manage my time better. I should really take into account opportunity costs of everything I do or buy. sometimes I wish I was more economically conscious but then I feel like sometimes I'm too economically conscious. I do too many things for my own good. I never think about other people. instead, I think how much of my own money, energy, etc. is going into making someone else happy. that's so wrong. man, I have psych in about an hour. I wonder what we will talk about. I wonder if I read enough. I wonder how my first quiz in college will be like tomorrow. I really need to stop eating so much and work out more. I cannot possibly rationalize all my eating by my walking to and from school everyday. 5 more minutes. I wonder what God thinks of me. maybe I shouldn't wonder. what else is there to say? I feel like my brain has been racked and pried. is that how you spell the past tense of pry? I have so much reading to do. did I mention that? by the time I get home, I will probably be so tired. but I need to read. shar's going to her echo meeting so I will be home alone with no internet access. man I am so spoiled. as early as 1-2 years ago I didn't depend so highly on technology. but look at me now. well, I guess we should look at ourselves now. what to say? I wonder what my parents think of me. I think too much about what other people think of me. I need to stop and think about what I think about myself. I thought that girl looked familiar. hmm. I'm almost done dude. almost done. only 1 minute left. I have written a lot. well at least I feel like it. now that I'm almost done I feel like the 20 minutes went by really fast. so I guess this was both enriching and entertaining to see what's in my brain. 10 seconds. done!