Right now, I am very busy. I am very preoccupied by trying to balance my academic studies with my social life. Joining a fraternity is a very difficult thing to do, as it entails choosing a group of people who are most like you, in that they share common ideals and interests. Outside of my world at the University of Texas, I am also struglling to maintain a long distance relationship with the woman who could possibly grow to become my wife. She attends the University of Alabama, and she is also an incoming freshman. However, my troubles are very different than hers. Yes, she joined a serority, but the Greek process that involves women is wholly differnt than the one concerning men. But what is important is that she has already become an active member of a serority, a serority in which she already grown a liking to many active members. I, on the other hand, have just begun my process of joining a fraternity, and is not only stressful but very intimidating. In my opinion, older men are simply more imtimidating and less likely to accept new members than older women. This process of distancing ourselves from each other and the process pf maing new friends, indpendenet of one another, has taken its toll on the quality of our relationship. We often argue, our telephone conversations are usually brief and superficial, and we lack a common ground on which to converse. I am worried than our relationship will not withstand the tests of time and distance, which is the most bothersome thing of all. My feelings for her are still intense, yet they no longer stand forefront in my mind. Now, I have other academic as well as social predicaments to fill uo my time. I worry that she is experiencing the same phenomenon. In addition, I am thinking of how alone I feel in this problem. My roomate does share a similar experience, and I can subsequently not look to him for guidance or advice. I don't want my feelings tp change towards Christel, but I fear that they will, and we will eventually encounter a mutual break-up, but one after which we cannot remain friends. Digressing on a tangent, I can stare out my window as I type this essay, a look out onto the hiils of Austin. Coming from Dallas, I have grown to appreciate Austin's attractive landscape. It hills, its sunsets, and other natural phenomenons sometimes offer a sense of peace during such a hectic time. My roomate is always creating some kind of noise. As I sit here and try to complete this assignment, he is playing a game of football on the Sony Playstation. Does he not have homework to do?  I don't know, I guess that it bothers me sometimes that I feel and seem so busy when those around me seem carefree and happy. Will I ever feel completely happy again? In the near future?  It's not that I'm depressed or willing to let go of Christel to free myself of these "troubles," it's just that I want all the things that trouble me to merge into one moment of happiness, during whcih all things just "click together. "  Too optimistic, I know. That'slife, I know, but I can still wish that things could be different. I never tyhought I'd say this, butit feels good to attack this assignment. In a sense, it's profoundly fulfilling to articulate your troubles as you feel them. I guess sometimes it's easier to realize the way you feel when you struggle to put it into words. But, I've still got troubles. God, I sound depressed, but the fact of the matter is that I am actually having a pretty good time. I have made friends, and I relaize that, given time, all of my problems will work themselves out. I truly believe that unhappiness is a temporary sentiment, as happiness is the underlying emotion in every situation. Damn, I've got to wake up early tomorrow. I wish it was like that, but, as most people would say, that's life!  My twenty minutes is almost up, and I really feel better for having articulated some of unshared and unresoved conflicts.