writing for twenty minutes seems like an incredibly long time, but I have always heard that keeping a journal is good for your mental health. So, maybe this experience is kind of keeping a journal. I'm listening to music right now while I do this and it is actually kind of distracting me. Its for my History of Rock Music Class which is actually kind of boring, but I heard its going to get better. As I write this I notice how incredibly bad at typing I am. Other people are probably going to have a novel by the end of 20 minutes. I am going to have like a couple of paragraphs. That is really sad. Now, I am thinking all psychological though. I am like oooooh, they are going to read this and think that I compare myself to other people. " I do compare myself to people all the time. I am very competitive. My arms hurt already. I do badly on computers. I hate staring at the screen. When teachers make you read articles off of the computer, I always have to print it out-which is kind of annoying. I also notice how incredibly bad my sentence structure is when I am not thinking about making it good. I am kind of surprised I made an A in rhetoric. I loved rhetoric. It was really interesting for me. All my classes this semester seem interesting. Tough-but interesting. Geology is weird. Hopefully it will get better. I found out today that I could have been in a psychology class about love and relationships before taking Psychology 301. I am really interested in that kinda of psychology specifically. So I am sad, but psychology 301 will at least be a good introduction. And now I sound like a suck-up because this is for psych 301. And now I sound like I care about what people think. I do though to some extent. ooooooh fun song on. That Swing Swing Song by All-American Rejects. I like it a lot. It reminds me of the summer. I wish I would've seen American Pie Three. I didn't even see the first or second one though-haha. My room is so quiet and alone and big when my roommate is not here. She is strange and different, but she is really unique and I like her a lot. She is never here though. Her boyfriend goes to A&M-just like my boyfriend. She always goes to their games and never has even been to a UT game! I told her she should come to the Arkansas game with me and she was like "OH YEAH! WE played them last week!" WE. WE. she said "WE" as though she was from A&M. she is crazy. My boyfriend lives in College Station and you will never find me there. There is nothing to do. So, he comes to Austin. I realize I have pictures of people in my room that I do not even like. I only have a picture of this girl Jenny because she is really good friends with my boyfriend. She and I are cordial to each other in person. We hate each other really though. I know she hates me a lot-my boyfriend told me. I hate that she hates me because I am usually nice to her. But , I hate her too. But she is obnoxious to me and kind of bitchy. So, I think I have the right to not like her. Wow, twenty minutes is a long long time. I still have 8 minutes left and I feel like I need to do something else. Maybe that means I have ADD. I cannot read for more than like 20 minutes at a time. Its really hard to be like that in college cause everything is reading. I am behind in all of my classes. I study and read-I just have to take breaks and re-read a lot cause I don't catch everything. Like I try to keep up, but I can't. Its bad. I need to study more but then I stress myself out if I don't do anything but study. I need to be in organizations because they help take my mind off of school for a short time period. I stress myself when I study 24/7. That is how it was over the summer. Everyone else went to Frat parties every night and I stayed in and studied. There were NO organizations to be in. There were only frat parties. And I don't even like frat parties all the time. Drunk people can be fun sometimes--but like a million guys and just a couple girls can be obnoxious. 8 drunk guys hitting on you all once is a little overwhelming. And plus boyfriends do not generally like that. So, I stayed in and studied. I was so focused on my grades that I would stress out about getting anything worse than an 85. Because I was not completely done with a rough draft of paper once, I stressed out so much that I threw up. it was really bad. All of my friends were REALLY worried about me. I passed out and everything. Over a paper! yeah, that is pretty scary. I guess I am just not good with my time management. I don't know. Something is really messed up with me I think. My boyfriend thinks I could use a counselor. But if I see a counselor I probably will not have time for activities besides school. And that would not give me anytime to not think about school-which is what activities do for me. I like that I am doing them. I hope I make Lassos. I am worried that that will take too much time and stress me out even more. We shall see.