this writing assignment is very interesting. it is strange how it is somewhat difficult to simply write whatever I am thinking. sometimes it is hard to tell. I really need to catch up on some of my homework. I also need to find a job. high school was so much different than college is. that isn't necessarily a bad thing. just different. I like living in Austin. there is much more to do than there is in a town of under 300 people. I am hungry. where should I eat lunch today. my parents are coming down this weekend. I think I'll leave. to many people in a little apartment. I don't really think I could handle it. I got a cat. well a kitten actually. to keep my company. it whines a lot. and likes to crawl up my leg. I haven't really talked to that many people from back home since I have been here. but that doesn't really bother me. I need new people. meeting people here is harder than I thought it would be. I figured since this is a huge campus that it would be easy and just kind of happen. but it turns out I think I might actually have to make an effort to meet new people. I really need to find a job. hopefully on-campus. that would be great. I am looking forward to psychology class today. it is interesting. I want to learn how people think. because I wish I knew a lot of the time. but I don't really think that is something you can learn. because everyone's mind works differently, so how can you learn how people think if it not the same with any one person?  how can you know the emotions and thoughts of the people around you?  I have a hard time knowing the thoughts and emotions of my closest friends. and even myself at times. the mind is so complex. I have thought about majoring in psychology. I just wish I had some clue as to what I want to do with my life. it's like I am here, in college, finally, and I have no idea what to do with it. I guess I will figure it out. I just get tired of waiting for that sudden thought to just pop into my head and me know that is what I want to do for the rest of my life. that's a long time. I want to do something I enjoy. somewhere where I will be happy. but I guess that is what everybody wants. but why do some people find that, and not others. what makes the lucky ones different. I guess if everyone did what the wanted then there would be nobody to do the dirty work. but it just seems unfair that some have it so could. and some can never find that place where they feel content. does that place really exist? I think so. I don't think I have quite found it though. I think I will though. maybe I'll be one of those lucky ones. I miss Jason. is this going to work?  do I want it to?  I do but there are so many things to experience here. will it change me? he thinks so. but I don't know. maybe it will. maybe it should. but where does that leave us? is there an us?  I have no idea how to handle that situation. my parents are going crazy. they miss me so much. I miss them, but am relieved to not be in there household anymore. I needed some freedom. I need to learn to live on my own. I really don't want a job though. it will be hard to balance work and school and homework. but I need to money. I guess I have to eat and pay rent. I am really getting hungry. I am not really that tired considering I got up at 7 this morning. surprising. I haven't even taken a nap. I don't think I will. I rode the shuttle from my apartment this morning. I usually drive. but I can't afford to pay $7 everyday. it wasn't that bad. but I didn't really know where it was going to take me. but I made it to class on time. and didn't have to walk that far. I just hope I am able to catch it this afternoon. I think I know where it will pick me up. but I don't know what time it runs really. and how late it runs. but I should be done here around 5. cause I have a class from 3:30 till 5. I really need to go to the gym. I think I am going to talk some dance classes. that sounds like fun. and I bet it will help me meet more people. I need to talk to Jason. let him know I care and that I think about him a lot. I know he worries. I worry to. I need to quit stressing about everything so much. I worry myself to much. I guess that is human nature though. who knows what human nature really is. maybe that is just an excuse for the way we act. I know I use it as an excuse at times. that's kind of sad. but I guess everyone probably does. wow my times almost up. that didn't seem like 20 minutes. when you just start letting your thoughts go I guess time goes by pretty quickly. I think I might take a nap. but I have more homework that needs to be done. dang there is so much reading. I get tired