ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
It is 11:30 in the morning. I had a nine o'clock class and I should still be asleep. Naureen should be home soon, I have to remember to tell her that the bank called. I don't think anyone should call before noon. I need to find something to wear tonight I wander if Naureen has anything I could borrow. I can't believe I'm still hungry I have been eating so much. I guess this is how people get their freshman fifteen. I wonder why housekeeping is here on Monday. I think that it would be better if they came on Monday every week. I don't really like getting up on the days I have a late class. I wish I knew what was wrong with my computer. I also wish I could fix it by myself. I wonder if Marty is going to call. I hope he had a good Birthday. Twentytwo sounds so far away but it seems like yesterday he was eighteen. I need to do other homework so bad and I need to make my bed and clean up the closet. I'm so glad I got a clean room mate. I don't think I could have lived with another slob. I wonder how Meagan is doing I should call her and ask if she misses having her own personal maid. 11:40 ten minutes to go. I'm so tired today. If Sten and Tavis come over tonight I'm never going to sleep. I guess sleep isn't that important. I need to talk to mom I wonder if she is still going to San Antonio? I want to see grandma an Aunt Sylvia but I don't know if I can handle a weekend with mom. I guess I can try to get along with her. I hope we go shopping I really need some winter clothes or I going to shiver my butt off all winter. It is cold in here right now but there is nothing I can do about it. The thing is already turned up as far as it will go I don't think it works. I think they only put the thermostat in each room so you think you have control because it is always cold. If the phone rings one more time I'm going to freak. My phone I so loud you can hear it all the way down the hall. It scares me every time it rings. Halloween will be here soon That and New years are the best holidays. I'm going to have to find a costume. Ok its been twenty minutes I'm going to sleep this was interesting and I don't feel like I wrote enough but these were my thoughts.
it has been raining for the past 4 days and I guess that has  a lot to do with everyone's attitudes. I feel a little relieved and tired though I had my first test of the semester this morning. I feel tired because I spent the majority part of the weekend partying rather then studying like I should have. now I was forced to cram study this morning just because of my laziness and inability to control my desires to go out with my friends. I should recover with a good nights sleep tonight. I called my father today. I'm trying to get on his good side now because he has been very disappointed in me. for some reason I seem to keep getting myself in situations that are to his beliefs not appropriate. the bad part about it is that I know that I am doing wrong but I still continue to do other things that make feel that he has failed as a parent. I guess he think is that if I am not perfect then he has failed as a parent. I'm trying to get it to him that I still have a lot of things going for me. I guess as a parent you want what's best for your child. so any little flaw on my part makes him feel that he did not do a good job raising me. I feel totally different though. I believe that I have thee best parents in the world because they have provided me with al the possible things to help me better myself in every way possible. in other matters work is going pretty well I will probably be getting a raise soon. my performance has been really well so maybe it will be a substantial raise
Here it goes. 20 minutes seems like a long time but I don't have to think really. Wait, that is the whole purpose. Think, Think, Think. The game my roommate plays all the time distracts me from studying but I would never say anything. Just let it be, let it be, whisper words of wisdom, let it be. Well, I see the football schedule on my desk and it reminds me that a girl from home may be coming up this weekend. Hopefully I can get her a ticket to the game. Maybe I will make a sign and put it by the elevator that say that I will buy a ticket for, lets say, $10. I think that should work. Ever since I came here I have been having trouble keeping the stupid elastic sheet on the mattress. It always comes off. It really annoyed me, I mean really annoying. So, when I went home this weekend I bought these straps that hold the sheet to the mattress. I have installed them and could not be more pleased. I have beat the mattress! Victory is mine! Its interesting that I can see all of my class buildings from my dorm room window. Pretty decent view. Tonight, I worry that I am too behind in my classes. Yet, I can't imagine that everyone in the class is. I mean, I do a pretty decent amount of work. I bet I am about equal with most students. The part that has me worried is that all of my professors say that most people make Cs in there class. That is just not acceptable. I have to go graduate school. How hard is it to go to graduate school? I really don't know. I can't be that hard. Or is it? 11 more minutes what to talk about. My suitemate just started the shower. I can hear the water running. I also hear the gun shots from that game my roommate always plays. Pow, Pow, Pow. That must be fun. I, however, am trapped in this writing screen. Write, Write, Write. Like a machine. Now I hear jazz music. I've never really met anyone who like jazz music. This kind of reminds me of Catcher in the Rye. Maybe Holden Caulfield was just a steam of consciousness. I wish I had a hunters cap to put on. Maybe I could go to the pond and see if the damn ducks were still there. Where do they go in the winter, anyway? Does someone come in a van and take them away to a zoo or something. Or do they just fly away, fly away. Ah! I've received an instant message. I can't read it yet. Must type, type, type. 6 minutes left, almost there. Nope, that is still a long time. I just noticed my rubik's cube. One side is completed, the others? You guessed it, INCOMPLETE. Maybe one day I will finish it. Ok, now my hands are beginning to tire. 4 and a half minutes left. Just keep typing. My neck hurts too. This is making me sleepy. I really want to go to sleep after this. Ah, that would be nice. BUT NO, I have to read. Lots of reading actually. In fact, psychology, 1 chapter. Pow, Pow, Pow. He says, Missed the head. " What does that mean? Head makes me think of beer. That lager has a good, hearty head. Nice, only 1 and a half minutes left. I'm really looking forward to this being over. I guess there are harder things I could do for a grade. Like, I can't think of anything. I thoughts a clogging because I keep looking at the clock. Oh wow, here we go, and I am done!
I try to overcome all the pessimistic thoughts that I or anyone else could possibly have and look at all the bright spots in my life. Today I had a very rough day with my classes. Waking up at seven in the morning for a class at eight and not finishing class till five is not my idea of fun. I do feel very exhausted, but I know things could be worse. There are so many people around me who are going through much more than I am and I'm grateful that I'm fortunate enough to have what I have and be where I am right now. Sure, I may be exhausted  right now but I feel better than ever because I know that life is full of fun and I can't look away from the optimistic side of life for one second. Doing that would lead me to miss all the fun life has in store for me. So I feel very excited now, although very very tired, because I know that I have my whole life in front of me to look forward to. I try to keep my thoughts and feelings on the up side no matter how bad times are because it is not good to think negatively when you are in a good mood, let alone in a very bad mood. Thus I feel great just as usual!!
My name is John Davis but I go by Richard Davis. I don't know if you care but your class is really interesting. That is not me kissing butt. I don't kiss butt. Thats gross. My life consists of my JEEP, beer, and women. My girlfriend is sitting right behind me watching everything I type so of course I can't be honest with you. J/K  My jeep requires a lot of my time because I am always upgrading it. New suspension, new tires, new axels, new transmission, new engine. All better than before and better than anything else. My jeep is my security. Not that I am self consious or anything, in fact I am very cocky, but without my jeep I am not comfortable meeting new people. I want my first impression to show the amount of work and dedication I have towards my Jeep. It's my baby. Beer helps me get through the times when my jeep is frustrating me. It calms me down and allows me to think more fuzzy. I like that!!!  I like chicks a lot. Without chicks I don't know if I would want to work on my jeep. Although I would have a lot more time to work on it. I want to be sucessful when I age, and not real worried about not reaching that goal, just because I know that I want it so bad that I can get it. But, I'm having a hard time thinking about my future because my life is so full in the present. I spend all my money on my jeep and all my time on chicks. But if I didnt have those I wouldnt care about my future. Whether people think those are the wrong priorities or not, its going to make me reach my goal. Which is the American dream. To live a happy life, and thats all that matters to me. P. s. I do like to take the easy way to that American dream.
I am constantly thinking about the past. I often think about the good things that have occurred in my highschool years. I feel really sad because I miss my family so bad. I am always thinking about how I never get in trouble anymore because my parents aren't here to get mad at me whenever I come home late. I feel so lonely here. nobody knows anybody. Everywhere I turn I see different faces that I probably wont ever see again this semester. I feel so depressed because my boyfriend is gone. I am always dreaming about being together again, but its not going to happen ever because we just broke up. I miss him so bad and I can't ever be with him anymore just because I have too much darn pride. I wish I didn't have so much pride. PRIDE gets me nowhere all it does is leave you wondering What could have been? or where would I be standing now with him had I not been so proud. I am so sad, but then again I would rather have alot of pride than no pride at all. I wonder what Im going to do with my life. Everybody seems to know exactly what they are good at. I don't!! I'm totally lost I don't know what Im the best at. How are you supposed to know what career is the best one to choose. I want to do good in school but people don't work to the best of their ability unless they have certain goals. I'm not determined. I don't know if I will be successful dancing ballet or operating on some dying person. I'm too confused. I'm happy I have my brother I love him so much I don't know what I would do without him. Im really hungry . I didn't have breakfast, lunch or dinner because I was too mad about my boyfriend or ex-boyfriend I should say. I can't think or sleep or eat I don't know what to do should I let go of all of this pride that I have? NO, it will be better for me in the longrun. Why do people get hurt so much. I don't understand my mind knows that things happen for a reason. I know deep down inside that for some reason this happened and that things will get better, but Im hurting so bad inside and I still want to smile at people and say hi to my friends even when I don't want to talk to anybody. I don't understand why I have to feel horrible and my friends are all having a blast. Why do some people live the best life and others don't get it so easily. It's not fair to have some people be happy all the time and others who are born without an arm or who's parent's have died or who have some sickness why them and not me for example?
the thought of everyone or anything making sense is no sense at all. people or things are living to be apart of the same things. to understand the most simplest of things is to want to understand the hardest of things. if we were to understand all that is around us then what? we seem as humans to conquer all that is unknown or well known as something we can overtake. why is this? if we understood everthing about ourselves then would we conquer overselves and in turn become so self absorbed that it turns out for the worst? maybe our own minds are the foundation and key to unlocking every mystery that lies in this world. that may be the reason that it is so complicated, since it does not want to be discovered in fear of damnation. we find ourselves seeking that which is not wanting to be sought after. maybe if we just left the hinding unknown come to the surface on its own then the world would be more peaceful than ever. we want to satisfy and gratify each other yet nothing is truly workin as a whole. in that case why don't we curse each other? would this work? there wouldn't be heroes without tragic situations that call on them. there wouldn't be compassion without suffering. this may be the other mystery of life. we suffer from all sorts of pains. anxiety, stress, and heartache. then this may be the key to how the  world goes round. there must always lie a purpose or mystery to be solved or individuals would possibly goe mad. living without purpose. the sights that are before us lie challenges that we all must go through. . animal. man. all the same in our   civilized  , yet primal instincts. we find that the more of one thing evolves another becomes a mystery. we try to understand our primal side of existance yet this is where we come from. our strive to learn, succeed, or conquer friends and foes. the animal coming out of us? no the animal coming back to us. these triumphes or downfalls are the minds tricks on itself that keeps everthing from total damnation. if we did unlock the nooks and crannies of our world then what then. find a way to kill or destroy it. with everything else we have. from finding how the world turns, our habits have caused an imbalance of many levels. the people all around us are capable of so much together that the universe wouldn't stand a chance. but that may be the reason we coannot truly get the whole picture of how we really feel for one another. the thoughts that we have are very primal. we seek out our sexes to comfort a zone but not a domain. if we all truly united then our common strength could destroy rntire galaxies since we have already done fractions of that with partial unification. this may be the clue to how realtionships may work in general. we find ways to unite and ways to spread out. everything that may be silly to an outsider like colthes, sex, or religion. these pose for issues that seperarte us at the same time. the same that our animal instincts may tell us as they come back and not come out as many think. think about the possibilities. or the downfalls. mysteries of any sort are our key that may never be unlocked
I am really quite flustered right now, because I already wrote this assignment earlier, and the philosophy systems were probably down, and now I cannot retrieve the file from where I saved it. Anyways, hardly makes a difference though. I can't help wondering about the purpose of this assignment. I mean, the teacher hardly even knows me, and probably cannot even relate to what I am thinking about. I guess this must be a way of doing research, and we'll eventually learn about it. I wish all assignments were just as simple. But its difficult to suddenly get used to this American system of education. This does get strange and intimidating sometimes, with large classrooms and lack of onetoone interaction. But it is nice, and I will definitely get used to it. Today is Monday, and a whole new week lies ahead. I quite dread Monday mornings. not because I have to go to class, but because I have a slight fear of the unknown. what if I have forgotten to do an assignment, what if I annoy a teacher! I am really hungry. I had a small lunch last night. Cafeterias were closed so I made some sandwiches at home. I wish I had a car. Then I could go out anywhere and eat at anytime. I could even go to Sixth Street. I want to buy a sports car. I will buy an Italian sports car once I earn my own million dollars! But that's a long way to go. I want to eat at Kinsolving dining hall today. I am quite tired with the food at Jester. But its pretty far from Jester, and I hate to walk. I guess I'll eat in Jester itself. I wonder what my friends back home must be doing, especially Tanaya. I hope they miss me as much as I miss them. I can't wait to go back to India, but I don't think I'll get to go before summer. I bump into them online almost everyday, so I do feel quite close. But personal meetings are totally different things. My room is such a mess. I will have to clean it up. will do it on Thursday. Thursdays are wonderful. I have only one class, so I do all other work on Thursdays. But this is not a good habit. I eventually end up putting off all my important work to Thursdays, and then run out of time on Thursdays even! I wish the weekend were longer. I need my own computer. I'll get one soon. I hope I get a good deal though. Then I wont have to go to the lab each time I have to do an assignment. My uncle is Dallas said he could get me one for a decent price. I will probably go meet him next week if it fits in my schedule. Great, my 20 minutes are almost up. This assignment was fun. I hope that all the others are as much fun to do.
It's been almost a week since I have moved to Austin to study. There have been times when I miss home, as well as times when I call my dorm room home. I don't understand why exactly I am here. None of this makes any sense. I've grown up, studying at a small school, small church, small community type settings, and I've thrown myself into the largest university in the nation, surrounded by many diverse students of all kinds. My friends have made the transition easier, as well as comforting. However, there's still a little void inside of me. Where did it come from though? I see that naturally, God has some sort of plan for me here. But as of now, I have not a clue. No reason, no rhyme. And here I am writing my psychology assignment on the day it was assigned. This never happens. I am the one who's lazy and always procrastinates to the last possible second before even lifting a finger towards any assignment handed my way. Yet, I feel like a change is about to occur. A transformation possibly, from a cocoon to a butterfly so to say. Leaving behind the old, and embracing the new as it comes my way. I look around my desk, seeing my personal belongs as it reflects my own personality, my soul, my spirit. And I realize, that I'm lacking. I have my mere clothing, and books for my classes, my computer. The only thing that resembles anything about myself is my Jars of Clay poster, given to me by a friend. This poster is the only tangible object, image to represent myself. Do I lack a soul, or have I yet to express it in a more productive manner? Why am I even writing about this anyway? Why did I begin writing this so early? Regardless of it all, I know that He has a plan for my life. Everything I do has a purpose for the sake of His glory. Whether people acknowledge His existence or not, He is still there and is all powerful. Two plus two is four, never five. God is here, and always will. People can choose to ignore Him, but His existence still remains. I miss my Youth Pastor, Gary, who taught me to seek God with everything I have. He was the kind of man who'd parents would approve of as a personal mentor. His wisdom and knowledge of every concept in the world baffles me, and kept me curios. But it's his compassion that I miss the most. The tears he shed, when he heard of a young boy committing suicide because his peers perpetual teasing. The affectionate, unconditional love he expresses towards his wife and children. These things, I miss the most. But the one true divine aspect about Gary, is that he's a man of God. A man who sought after God without ever holding back. He dove in. Not caring where or how, when or why, he dove in. Will mankind ever see a man like him again? I look at the clock, and my twenty minutes is almost over, only a minute left for my required writing time. Did I do the correct assignment? Did I do this the way my professor wanted me to? Oh well. Blah.
Yesterday I could not get it to work and I was frustrated. I am feeling happy now that I know how to do this. I am also all caught up in my reading so that is also a good thing that makes me feel good. I hope I can do that for the rest of the semester and stay on top of things. I am worried though about an assignment I have do tomorrow and need to get it done on time. I have to find an example of it though on the computer and that hasn't happened yet and that makes me feel frustrated. I will be relieved once I get that done. I have never done an assignment like this before and it is kind of different and new to me. I am not used to writing down everything I think about and my feelings. I am also pretty tired right now and could use some sleep. I hope I get my things done early tonight so that I can get some sleep. Today it has been hard for me to concentrate and not start daydreaming in class. When I am tired it is hard for me sometimes to pay attention. I make sure though I hear what the professor is saying and not get behind or that would bother me if I knew I missed something important that he said. In a little while I have to take a Calculus quiz that I am worried about. I don't like to take quizzes because I get nervous before they start, even when I know the material. Right now I feel like I need to go workout. I enjoy working out and haven't done much of it since school has started. It makes me feel better and more energetic when I run. I feel good about myself and what I am doing. I like to take breaks when I am studying, so that I don't study for long periods of time without taking a break. For example, after I finish one subject I either watch TV for a little while or grab a snack and then go on to the next subject. This helps me when I am studying and I feel great once I have finished studying or reading a subject. It has been really hot outside today and it feels good whenever I finally come into a building that has air conditioning. I had to walk all the way across campus from class to my friends dorm and once I got there I was tired and hot but now I feel a lot better. I have always carried a backpack with me even in high school but now it is harder in college because you have to walk a lot greater distance. I really don't know what else to say. It won't be long and my next class will begin and I must get prepared for my upcoming quiz. I am really glad though to have at least one of these writing assignments done now. It is one thing off my list of things to do. I feel I have now finished one more task of the day.