I'M REALLY FULL RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I ATE A LOT OF FOOD TONIGHT. I AS GOING TO GO OUT TO DINNER WITH OTHER FRIENDS, BUT JUST DECIDED NOT TO GO. TE REASON IS THAT IDID'T WANT TO BOTHER THEM. They are all guys, and I didn't want to be the only girl. Anyway, I found out later that there were some other girls coming, but I just eating at that time already. A guy I like went there, too. I was going to go there because of him, but just didn't want to make it obvious taht I wanted to be with him. I am worried that he may not like me, but I'm pretty positive that he at least is interested in me. I was very worried in the biginning, though, because I wanted everything to happen so fast. All my friends advised me not to be that way since the most stable relationship is usually formed after a long time of being together. I guess I'm too impatient and too negative. I envy a lot of people who are positiv and self-confident. They are very proud of who they atr and not afraid of doing anything they want to do. I want to be that way. Sometimes I'm just too scary to start doing anything. However, what is really strange is that I am self-confident. I am usually a leader among my classmates and always think I will do good at most of things. I think I'm not confident of love. Especially, whenever I have somebody I like, I never consider myself worthy for him. Usually, I will think he won't think I'm pretty and so on. All these negative images are pictured in my brain. I do that because I don't want to be so positive, What if I think of all these good things, and they never happen? What if something bad happens? What if he says he doesn't like me? It's much better to think of worse and let good things happen. However, sad thoughts make me really depressed often. I become so biased that I won't see what really is going on. I'd like to be so wise. I don't want to be biased or anything. I guess in order to be wise, I need to read as many books as I can. Also, I think I need more experience. Experience makes one mature and smart. When I was young, I didn't understand why people call the old the wise. However, as I grow, I realized so many things that I now started to understand. The longer I live, the more I see, hear, and think. I am so grateful that I'm still alive and anxious to learn more about the world. There are so many things I don't know, and that fact just makes me go on. I love learning, and sometimes, I get frustrated becuase I feel like there's not enough time for me to know all these things. It's just wonderful to see the world and all there different things within. Different cultures, people, languages,and all these other things are very fascinating. I wonder how and when I will be able to experience everything! It is my dream to travel aroungd the world. I would love to travel and learn many things. I wonder I will be able to get a job and still traveil while working. I hope that can happen. Maybe, I can travel during vacations, but that sounds not enought for me. I will like to travel several times a year. I really think ther's not enough time to see and learn. This is why I try to do more things everyday, but now I'm getting too lazy. College life is exciting, but also make