Right now I am in my room trying to study. I really don't know how to study at all. I'm way behind in all my reading cause it's so boring. Micah is printing something right now. I am so bored. I want to go home tomorrow, but I'm not done with my reading so I really can't do anything until I'm done with that. Plus I don't know whose going to pick me up if I could go home. Homer said he was going to find a way to come and get me, but I don't know if it's possible. They said there is this race they are going to on Sunday and I really would like to go. Gosh this seem to be forever to type. I really miss my mom, but when I'm around she's always yelling at me. I don't enjoy my time with her. Every time we get into an agrument I feel bad afterwards cause I know she might not be around for very long. I love her so  much I just wish we can hang out and do what other family does and be happy. My sister is not talking to her right now because of what happen last week and I wish it never did happen. I would be aleast happier to talk to her everyday. She seem to always cry when I do talk to her. My life seem to suck comparing to all the other people. Micah is standing here right now watching me type. Right now I'm looking around room. My roommate is making me nervous, she was looking at me type. I think we need to start cleaning our room cause we have books and stuff everywhere. I miss Juan, he went back to califorina for the Marines and he has not called me since the last time. It's been like a week. I've been feeling a little dumb around UT cause everyone seem to be so smart. Even my friend Sarah feel this way. Maybe I just don't belong here with all the smart people. I'm a poor person, and it just make it worst to see that most of the people that goes here are rich. They talked about how they are going to get a piece of land and build their house and have lots and lots of parties. I don't know if I can even afford a house right now. My mom lives in an apartment and she barely make enough to pay for all the bills. I feel like I'm using all her money going here. I love her so much. She's always been here for me even if we get in fights. My life would have been better if I have my dad around. He doesn't even seem  to care if I'm alive or not. He never sent us anything. The only thing that I get from him is a child support paycheck, which I don't really care for. I need money, but it always come  and go. And it sure doesn't make me happy. Homer really likes me but I don't know him enough to go out with him. Is that bad?  For some reason I still like Isrel, but he's just the type of person that want girls for sex. He wanted to take me home this one day, but I said no. I don't like people looking at me like I am a hoe, because I know I'm not a hoe. My mind is blank right now. To me life just seem to suck. Isrel seem to be a non commitment person, and I wish he was because I would like to go out with him and be with him.  I guess I just like the idea that   I like him and if we get together and get marry someday he would be able to support me and make me happy. My goal right now is to  do good in school and build a great career for myself and prove to my friend's that I can graduate from UT if I try my best. They keep on telling my that I'm wasting my money going to UT because it's much cheaper when I go at home. I just always wanted to go to UT and here I am  following my dreams.  I'm trying to find a job right now but it seem so hard. So many people are searching for jobs and I'm out of luck. I think I might switch my bank to bank one because they have free checking account and the one I have with bank of america isn't free. After this I need to start reading  all of my books I wonder how far I'm going to get before I decide to go do something again. I'm almost done I have less then a minute now. I really enjoy my psychology class. It's one of the best class I have here at UT so far. I just hope I'll do good. My goal is to do good and get into the nursing major.