Hello looks like a journal entry. Frustrating blank page as usual, not nearly as much  pressure as a true journal might be. No, true journals (at least the ones I know) come complete  with the most irrational, egotistical, subjective criticisms at all. Here, I might simply start to list  adjectives. Think I will. Chair, run, cake, spoon, sparrow, harly, make, spy, insult, laughter,  organization, economy, ----- complete crap!!! Ha! Adjectives are fun. What to make of this  phenomenal opportunity?  Don't be shy, be compliant. Or just spew forth venom, anecdotes,  general life lessons. Inclination says talk about "me". Here's what that is. Or so we'll try. Music, menus, frustration. Solitary, isolated, friendship social butterfly. Making waves the size  of anthills, feeling pretty depressed about it. The color of the water is green. Count the levels  of meaning there. Anaphor. Hyperbole. Homonyms. Czech Republic. Czeska Republica. The  United States of my Ass. Could I say here that I want to ______ the president?  Protect Identity. The blank might have been filled with "make love" or "marry" or "help through important  issues". Certainly not "castrate. "  What else?  Looking forward to making A's lots of A's, because  after all purpose belongs to those classes in which one might be rewarded for hard work and  ass kissing. Discombobulated this page may be, but organization's overrated. I know a quote:  one advantage of being disorganized is that one is constantly making new discoveries. "  That  one's right above Dad's desk at the office. Why do I experience comfort in an environment less  than rational? or organized?  Possibly the same reason I love psychoactive mindbenders (by this,  of course, I refer to puzzles and games like scrabble!) Because true beauty in life exposes itself  not in the routine, as religious dogma might promise, but at an Indian buffet at which one can  stand before a plethora of unfamiliar treasures, waiting for the unfamiliar perspective of a  Western mind for validation. what else?  I think this weekend I'm going to stimulate myself with  something organic - or possibly inorganic - and clean up the house. Make normal people  sense of the place so that when Mom and Dad show up tomorrow they don't swallow their  tongues. Music makes everything voluptuous, adds another layer to experiences so that they  find their way to memory lane more frequently and effectively. Takeover from an armchair. Natural delicacies. TV numbs, music accentuates, pleasure reading enriches, highest level math  and science is God. School puts the kind of pressure on people that creates Ted Bundies. UT is  anything but a good school, just like college immidiately following high school is anything but a  good idea. Just going doesn't plant seeds of positivity or success. I was the fool, caught in the  wave of college matriculation, and still to this day I feel I need four more years. Just like that  fucking idiot GW Bush. Right now, and not because I endorse the use of any of the following  terms, I'm going to type into this mind drain a slew of derrogatory or defamatory terms that I  rarely use but that for some reason are to come out when I open the floodgates. It's because I  wanted to call Bush a faggot, or a fucking idiot, or a fucking shithead hyppocrite, but some  mechanism that pisses on creativity and ultimate truth caught me in the act and slapped my red  hand before any other utterance could follow. Well, here, you fuck, stop this!!!!  Oh, I was going  to go into some racial slurs, but that's just so stupid. How about cracker-ass whitebread honky  guerro americano puto!  that would be perfect for me. Still, something about WASPy racial slurs  isn't nearly as intimidating as "nigger" or "spic" or daggerhead, or whatever. This world exists  as a cesspool of religious dogma, hate, and a need to evolve. It's going to suck till that evolution  takes place, but God Damn it, I'll wallow in the shit till I die and I'll like it. Couldn't qualify, for  that reason, as the typical "good people" one might imagine a large percentage of those floating  around Earth for some god or cause might hope. That's what makes music --- done. Thanks  for the toilet!