ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
Today was a tough day for me. I can't believed I failed to talk to  Asweenee. No girl has ever had that much power on me. Its probably the sun kicking in. I can't wait to go to the football game on Saturday. UT  is definitely going to beat Rutgers b/c Rutgers lost last week to a weak team by more than 20 points. Calculus class is going to be boring tomorrow because the professor is going to continue his lecture on limits. I hope we get no homework or else I will be very busy Wed. night. That phone next door is driving me crazy! Why does Kyle have the ringer on so high? I need to buy the Bush CD soon. The songs on that CD will pump me up and let me overcome my fear of talking to Asweenee. I hope she remembers me from the concert and knows that I am not some weird freak. Neal seems to enjoy studying Chemistry for no reason because he does the extra problems even though they are not due at all. I guess he feels insecure about his ability in Chemistry. I hope the Giants win next week at Jacksonville. It should be a good game but knowing my luck they won't even televise that game. Who cares about the Cowboys?  Tonight I want to email Steve and tell him my difficult conquest for a girlfriend. Maybe things will clear up the next few days and I will finally have the courage to do what I am so good at: socializing. I have never froze up like this in a long time. Maybe I am thinking too much about screwing up. I know I am better than that. Baseball season is almost near the homestretch. I hope the Yankees can catch up to the Orioles and go back to the World Series. My parents are probably trying to call right now and are wondering why the phone line is busy. I wondering how Linh is adjusting at Rice?  I hope she is not getting too depressed about not seeing Paul because I am not there to help her get through this hard time. I am glad I was there for her this summer because she needed a good friend who could understand her. I really miss her a lot but at the same time I know she will be fine. I sound like her parents. I wonder how Craig's drive to Minnesota is?  His dad is probably giving him a lecture after what happened to him this summer. This room needs more AC. AC. The idiot next door is blaring his music. Spice girls suck!  If he is going to listen to music at least show some taste. I think I am starting to feel the effects of the Hunan chicken. That stuffed dog looks like Snoopy. Neal must be attached to this toy.
The reason being is because I am in good health, I do not have problems studying in my classes, and I have now set a routine where I can exercise, study and have fun at the same time. I do have long days on my classes on Mondays and Wednesdays, but when I get through them I recover on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Last year I was not as fortunate with my schedule and my health. I had problems that required I go to a doctor and have x-rays done as well as other tests. Many of the friends of my family also passed away during that year and I was also trying to get myself used to the transition from highschool to college while taking some pretty difficult courses. Overall, I was having a tough time adjusting. I had to miss several classes in order to go in and check what my health problems were. I sometimes even had problems walking at U. T. because of the pains I would feel and did not always fully concentrate on what I needed to. I also seemed to have more distractions my freshmen year and did not always study like I should have. I still made pretty decent grades but I feel I could have done better. Compared to then, life is good. My emotions are better intact, I do not get as nervous as I used to be, and I do not get embarrassed easily to answer questions in class like I used to. I also seem to tolerate more in terms of the differences in people. I still want people to know that I consider God to be important even though they may not. Some people used to tell me that I would change as soon as I entered college and would become like everybody else. I haven't and I want people to understand that even though I may be alone in a lot of issues, I will stand alone and not follow what I don't believe to be true. Sometimes I do not appreciate the fact that some professors don't really care about those in the class who regard God as important and ridicule every person who may believe in that way. I feel sometimes that as a student respects a professor in some of their opinions, then a professor should also respect the student likewise. I do, however, express my feelings to the professor if I feel they are not correctly handling the situation. I do hope the professor does not feel it is an attack on my part and I try to get my points across as diplomatically as I can. With most that I have talked to, I get a pretty good response and we are able to work things out. I do have strong feelings but I hope I do not have to express them in a way that nobody wants to hear. I'm willing to work things out, and I hope that the other individual involved would be the same.
Stream of Consciousness  Well here I am. I wonder why the professor asked us to do this? I had to do this once before. I can't remember what class it was for. I think it was for English class. I liked my English teacher. I think her name is Mrs. Siskovic. She was a good teacher. She sounded when she read to us. I'm glad I took that dual credit English class, now I don't have to take English in college. That is one less thing to worry about. I wonder if I turned off the oven? Oh yeah, I did. I can't believe I left the refrigerator open all night. I'm just glad my milk didn't spoil. I just bought it. At least I don't think it spoiled, it tasted pretty good in my cereal this morning. I need to buy more cereal. That new cereal is pretty good. I think those fish sticks upset my stomach. I think next time I'll buy fish fillets. I like fish and fishing. I wonder if there is any place to fish around here. I think lake Wytnie is close but I'm not sure. Then again it be far. I don't know what to get my girlfriend for her birthday. I think I'll get her a card, some flowers, and take her out to dinner. I really miss her. I hope she goes to St. Edwards next year so she will be closer and I can see her more often. I can't believe I have to go to ACC next semester to take college Algebra. I must have skipped a question and didn't skip it on the answer sheet. I've already taken calculus in high school and I made an A. I can't believe I scored so low on the SAT 2 math part. I wonder if there is any more Kool-Aid left? I think there is grape, get some when I'm done. I'm real thirsty but he said not to stop once you've started. My hand is cramping. I think this callous on my finger is getting bigger. I hope I can figure out how to get my computer to work on the internet. I guess I'll just ask somebody. I hate to ask people things, especially directions. I think I'm done.
Well, since my friend just told me how she neglected to get us these free random  glow in the dark condoms, I've got sex on the brain, not that I've even had sex before. It's just one of those things that jumps in my head two or three times a day. I think it's because it's one of those unknown things I haven't experienced yet. I really wish I was back at home sitting on my bed, with my dog at my feet, waiting for my brother to come in and keep me up talking about my poor relationship problems which I still to this day haven't figured out. I miss him, my boyfriend/ friend/ player/ love or whatever. All I know is that I had fun with him no matter what was going on in my life. He could and still can always make me laugh. I miss that. I just plain miss him. And I'm not saying that I never once thought of having sex with him but it was never a real issue. He made me smile and never upset me. Well, that's not completely true. sometimse he upset me but it wasn't his fault. Unfortunately, I loved him a lot more than he loved me even though he really and truly loved me a lot. sometimes  I wonder if he is gay. I know that sounds odd but maybe   . no forget it. I'n so exhausted and all I want to do is go to sleep in my own bed under a real homy roof. I know it sounds funny becaouse they're probably all asleep but I wonder what they're doing- mY family and John and my other long lost friends who off at some far away college. poor Jonathan is out at sea. I hope it's not raining on him. THe food here is good but I don't like having some one tell me when I have to eat and when I can't. There is no refrigerator with Blue Bell stuffed in the back. And most of all, there is no Arlington Dance Academy. Oh, guys I wish I was there to teach my little kids and have them run up and hug my leg. I wish I had my senior class back cause I have so many great ideas from new pop songs I've heard here in Austin. Why can't I just skip the whole college thing. I know ican do it and I have the abiltiy and the committment to finish, Ijust don't think I need to . I want to run a dance studio  . I need to be going to conventions and new York and watching my previous dance instructor run the agenda and show me the accounting not learning about some stupid coorporations that I'll never want a job from or need an interview from. I just want to do what I've been doing best for the last 15 years and that is choreograph real dance in my own studio with my own ideas and expectations. It's my dream and its getting away from me. school seems second now and I really don't care. I've put it first most of the rest of my life. I did my 18 years now I want my career, my dream. I still want to dance myself but that is possible except not here in Austin where most of the studios are for elementary and the directors are real snots. people should want you to dance with them especially if you have a good attitude. but my bed is calling to me and I still have some very important e-mails to take care of. it's so nice to know that some people care enough at least to type.
I want money. I like money. What is the easiest way to get it?  Winning the lottery is too hard. Maybe I can get a wish to come true. A wish. Where do wishes come from?  I hear you get a wish if you catch a leprechaun, but what is a leprechaun, little guys, red hair, beards?  Where would one find a leprechaun?  If I found one, how could I catch it?  It must be fast, or everyone would catch them and get wishes. They must live in scotland, or ireland because of the red hair and accent- I wonder if they drink. A drunk leprechaun. Funny,  The life of the party. Granting wishes for everyone. What wish do I want?  What else?  Money, happiness  power?  Power is good. Maybe I could have enough power to order someone elses death, or prevent it. I could rule the world, like everyone wants to deep down inside. or maybe I don't. I just want to sit back in the country somewhereand be by myself, maybe witha family. Two kids. Maybe some livestock to get money with. invest it  live off interest. That sounds good. I could stopgoing to school, go home, and sleep for a while. sleep. sleep is good. I like sleeping. But the time goes faster when I sleep. Do I want to go faster?  no?   yes?  maybe?  definitely maybe. I don't want to miss anything, but I want to skip ahead to a more relaxing part of my life. I'm too lazy to have to work for a living. I don't know how I'm going to get through it. All of this studying. hasnt gotten me anywhere yet. But I only just started. preparing for my future. The future is a fantastic place. It can be whatever we make it, but that will be a bad place, if I know what I'm talking about. People die. kill eachother. Why? to what end?  Everyone dies. What difference does it make when?  I would prefer to die later in my life, though. I guess I want to wait and see what comes of me, in the end. In the next millenium. Nostradamus says the world will end. soon. I want to see if it happens. That would be something to tell the grandkids about. the end of the world. Not everything would die. that can't happen. life goes on. Not as it is known, but in some form. A science teacher of mine once said that fire ants would inherit the earth. As long as its well after I'm dead, I don't care who has it. The world will fend for itself, unless we destroy it before we destroy eachother. Its a race to see who wins, but no one will. a race to the edge of a cliff. Media tells us its not coming,  they make a road for us to race on, and fun buildings along the sides, they tell us there's no cliff, that were running towards an open pasture full of wildflowers and pretty white bunnies. But I know the cliff is there. Thats something else I want to se before I die, or as I die. Will the world survive?  will man kill the earth first, or will man kill man first?  One way, nothing survives. the other way, the earth survives, and possibly a few men, to carry on the race. I know who I'm rooting for. I want man to get to that cliff and go right off. Unless it can slow down, or run a different direction, but for now, the cliff. But that should be after I'm gone. I don't have to worry about anything. If only I could catch that damn leprechaun.
I am so overwhelmed that I don't even know what to do anymore. If it isn't one subject then it is another. I finally think that I am ahead in at least once subject and then I look at the syllabus and it says that I am, in actuality, 3 chapters behind. I really don't understand how this all happens. I thought that when I came to college it would be different. I thought that I would get to have a fresh start at things. I thought I would be able to make myself study and get ahead; however, my predictions are proving to be wrong. I am getting further and further behind with every passing day. I have psychology chapters to read, interpersonal communications chapters to read, contemporary moral problems readings, psychology writing assignments, MIS homework and readings. Even if I had all my time to study I still wouldn't be able to get it all done. But that isn't even the issue. Not only do I have all of these things to do, but there are also people asking me every five seconds to go out and enjoy Austin. I don't have time to enjoy Austin. I don't have time to go out, go to sorority meeting, read, write, and keep my sanity all in one day. There just is not enough time. I try and try to manage my time, but it just is not working. I think my only solution is to lock myself in my room and not come out until all of my work for the rest of the semester is done. That is my only solution to my ongoing problem.
I guess I'm just supposed to write what I'm thinking right now. I love listening to music. I guess it releases some kind of hormone or something that can just totally change my mood. If I'm sad about something, which would most likely have to do with my boyfriend or my parents, I can listen to a song and it will totally relax me and make me feel so much better. It should a kind of therapy  I think that they have already made that up  musical therapy. One of my friends from high school that is going to University of North Texas is majoring in that I think. I really miss Michael. He's my best friend and my boyfriend all in one. I can't wait to talk to him today  I've already done all of my homework for today and I don't have any more classes today. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are my hard days. I had a rhetoric class that I was taking but I'm not anymore because the professor gave a really sour first impression  she didn't seem happy at all to be teaching. I think that that's sad when someone doesn't like their job. I want to be happy when I'm older  I want to be a child psychiatrist. But as of right now, the psych department isn't accepting any more psych majors so I'm going to have to wait on that one. I want to continue to medical school, but I don't know where I want to apply for that. I have a couple of years to think about it though more than a couple. Oh  My favorite song is on  one of those songs that you just want to turn up really loud. Okay I have ten more minutes. Okay, my shoes are too small! Have you ever had a pair of tennis shoes that are too small? It really is painful  I hope my feet aren't still growing because they are already a size 8 and a half and a 9 would make me look like I have clown feet. If you have size 9 feet I'm sure you don't look like you have clown feet so don't take it the wrong way. I'm just talking about me. I hate the people who walk around college like they are cooler than everyone else  you know they probably thought that they were so cool in high school. Maybe the star quarterback or the head cheerleader. But who even cares about that stuff now. Not me! But that's okay. I took an AP Psych course last year in high school and I loved it. It's what got me interested in Psychology in the first place. I was going to be a photojournalist. But after taking the psych class I decided that I really enjoyed that a lot more than photography. Photography is great as a hobby though, but not to make a living. I also was watching a show on TLC on a family vacation to Canada (dad's idea) and it was an ER show and I really thought that was interesting. I can be easily inspired. Okay my time is up.
Ok, 2:10, What to say. Letters on keyboard. Can't type fast enough, mind too fast. Hot. painting. no more complete senteences, no more checking spelling. cute girl. pennebaker funny. very preety girl leaving lab. should have handwritten before typing. Roommate is size of elephant. better not make fun. probably can't help it. renee beautiful. Christi funny. smiling. this doesn't make any sense does it. must do good and not waste parents money. Mom Dad so good to me. love them but can't say it. hot. disk girl left disk. haircut. need haircut. blank, blank blank. blah blah blah,. uriefhsfkjdm Can't put thoughts into words very difficult. bing bang boom. Levi , tom jessie neel. Matt luck cause he has amanda. amanda pretty, alluring. sexy. sex must be good with her. blank again. not really, but can't type thoughts. 2:20 naomi sexy. hellena gone she s pretty peennebaker fucking riot. funny wish calss was smaller. peter ok missed si yesterday. bad. so what maybe I should have gone. arnie. goofy, nice car hes cool. arrhhgggggg james who. itch. 12345reqw abec de e fghijklmnopqurstuvwzxyz. ,. ,. ,. ,. ,. ,id hwat am I doing. apple, need own computer win computer money job. need job 15 mins weeeeee natalie sick like natalie,. massage natalie boyfriend mad. david kill me. caps lock. nice legs. sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex ha hah a ha ha ha haut ut dorm rom sttinks. disk. experiment. llab rat me nike swosh. oh o 20 min. bye move on.
I tried three times to get this web site and it kept bringing up that the server was down. I am the mother of a 10 month old and when he goes to bed, that is the time I need to get busy and do my work. I often stay up until 2 or 3 am trying to get everything done that I need to get done. I have the King and I on the TV, I am looking very much forward to going to the Bass concert/ performing arts center to see it. I bought three tickets. My husband and I are going and taking my grandmother for her 75th birthday. it should be a real treat. the house is quiet except the TV (on low) and the dishwasher. I love the sound of the dishwasher. It is a night time sound for me because when I was growing up my mother would turn it on after the news on her way to bed. It is a comforting sound. It was a  normal bedtime noise then, now 20 years ago, and now in my own home I enjoy the sound. I would miss it if we were to get one of those new expensive machines that didn't have the same rolling and tumbling sounds. I love water, the ocean, it kind of reminds me of that, but in thinking about it also probably sounds like being in utero. This musical is so beautiful, I just love the musicals of the past, a time long gone except you can visit through videos, theatre in your mind. Its sort of and escape from daily hectic real life schedules. Speaking of hectic every day schedules, my car is in the shop. It was there today since 9am and at 445pm I hadn't received a call about it yet. I don't think they are very considerate,  I had to call, and if I hadn't would they have closed up and gone home without saying a ***** word to me! probably. In order for me to be in class at noon tomorrow, I need to have Nicholas at the daycare by 11am . and I have to have a way to get the car. Freddie works night at the post office and he needs to go to bed when he gets home, not fool around waiting to take me down to the Honda service dept. being without your car is a big pain in the butt. It is the air-conditioning , door locks, and electric window. of course, it is the drivers window that is messed up, and when you unlock the door with the key, it sometimes does and sometimes doesn't lock and unlock the real drivers door. and usually it is when I have my arms full of stuff, the baby, and when I am in a hurry. As soon as I am finished, here in a matter of minutes, I can go read the mountain of books I had to get this semester. Man, this assignment is making me sweat. When I complain about things I often feel bad, because I know there are people who have it worse than  I do. We watched TITANIC . broken up in three evenings, it was good, but it made me cry. what a way to die. or lose your family or loved ones. Life is the sweet with the tart. I guess. I am curious what will be achieved from your collection of these stream of consciousness writings. I have more than satisfied the 20 minute requirement now, I would like to print this as a receipt, but guess what? my ink cartridge is out, and it was for the survey too, so I hope I can pull it up again and print it when I get out to buy one, I tried at target last week, but of course, they were out !!! the story of my life.
I could talk about all the controversial issues that have swept the nation - Clinton's sex scandal, the terrorist bombings, or any other factor that is found on the news. I could also write about everything that is wrong with society, however these things almost seem too common in today's everyday conversations. What used to seem controversial is now somewhat the fad. People are running around with bad attitudes because they are the "rebellious" ones. It is truly not they that are rebellious. They are simply conforming to what is seen by the physical eye as rebellious. True rebellion is seen in writing. In the early years of the United States, people were hung and persecuted for their written work. I think that those moments should go down as some of the sadder times in our history. I think it was Hawthorne who was greatly criticized for his Scarlet Letter. He wrote about a woman who was punished for adultery, but was she really punished?  She had to wear an outward symbol of her sin, but I think that Hawthorn only included that to keep from being persecuted by authorities. The story was truly about the liberation Hester Prin found in her life. I don't think that is exactly what I was aiming at, but I am sure someone would understand. I like to think of myself as pretty well learned, however when I compare myself to others of greater intelligence I find myself utterly an idiot. While on the subject of intelligence I would like to take a minute to bash standardized tests. I do decently on them, however they in no way judge the full potential or caliber of any student. I feel as though there is something of importance that I could say, however seeing as I am the utter idiot, I find a rare occasion that I have anything interesting to say. I guess I would like to be a scientist in the sense of knowing knowledge for the sake of knowledge. I would like to soak up a lot of life while I have the chance but sometimes life gets in the way. I mean, sometimes I am trying so hard to enjoy life I forget that I am living it. There will never be another today. This is the only August 30, 1998 that I will ever experience. I would like to end it saying it was a day of my life well spent.