As I sit in this library for the first time in my entire life, I feel as if I don't belong here, in this setting. I'm not usually the completely studious type so I'm just trying this library thing out. It's really deathly quiet and I'm not used to the absolute silence that surrounds me. I feel quite rude as my typing is unusually loud in this setting. I hope people around me aren't annoyed by this "tapping" as I am. I'm sitting alone in the corner, but at least I'm next to the window. I picked this spot as to not go completely crazy and be bored. People watching is fun. it's interesting to me how every single person walking around outside has their own story, their own point of view and I often wonder how different it is from my own. I haven't had any quiet time or alone time to myself since I've moved up here to Austin and just now, I realize that I indeed do miss it. I think I'll visit the library by myself a lot more often from now on. next time, I should remember to bring a jacket; I feel like I'm turning into a humansicle. but I don't like walking all the way from my dorm to here. it's quite a walk. I really should learn how to use the bus system here. I'm used to having the comfort of my car. the comfort I've had for four years. I miss it. I went home this weekend, the very first weekend after school started. it's not because I missed home or I was homesick or anything. I've been away from home for much longer periods of time and have never even thought about home much. like this summer, my 5 weeks overseas, I don't think I even thought about my family or home-life all that much. As horrible as that sounds, I'm not the type to miss my family or anything. anyway, I just went home this weekend because I felt that my dorm room was too bland and I wanted to bring up more stuff. I ended up coming back up to school with a huge suitcase and three boxes worth of crap that I should have thrown away. instead, this wonderful crap adorns my newly decorated dorm room walls and desk area. it looks so much better. I also got a new webcam. my mother had one at home that I wanted to bring up but she said she used it a lot so she ended up buying me another one. My mother's a funny person. She came to the states during her college years about 20-something years ago. I wonder how her college experience was. It must have been hard. I can imagine living in a country where no one understands what the heck you're saying. I've experienced it. still, she managed pretty well, I suspect. she's just that type of person. she has a really strange accent though in her English. Normally, Asian people have a really "fobbish" horrible sounding accent but she has a peculiar twang to it to make it sound incredibly different. It's not a perfect English accent but it sounds slightly European. I don't know why. My mom is a very peculiar person. Oh, going back to the webcam thing. I think one day I was using her computer at home and I looked at her picture folder. There were all these webcam shots of her smiling and trying to look cute in several different outfits. I almost fell out of my chair laughing. My mom is so cute. I believe she chats more than I do online to her friends. We've never chatted before but now that I'm not home, we've started to talk online through MSN messenger. It's incredibly awkward and a strange experience but I'm sure I'll be accustomed to it soon. My mom's awesome. I wonder how many of my friend's moms chat online to them. NO ONE. well, no one that I've met anyway. Now I've run out of things to say so I'm slowly gazing around this room. I'm next to a beigish wall. I don't think I enjoy the color beige too much. I wish I had better posture. typing on the computer makes me slouch. sitting back while reading makes me slouch. eating makes me slouch. I think I'm just a natural sloucher. I want to grow at least two more inches though. I look taller if I'd stand up straight but it's so hard. I also heard stretching makes you taller. I should try that sometime. I always say I'll start things and never do. Or usually I start things that I never finish. I wonder if it's a kind of disorder. there are a lot of books on the shelf that look amazingly old. I should go flip through some of them before I leave. they look interesting. I like that old book smell. I don't know why. it'll probably make me sneeze. someone just walked past me and we both sort of glanced at each other. I should have smiled or something. I feel so rude and mean. I think I look mean when I feel emotionless or I'm not making any faces on purpose. my mom says Asians naturally look angry all the time. maybe it's true. I should smile more often but then I feel like an idiot if someone sees me just smiling to myself. oh well. it's college now, I'm sure nobody cares and there are weirder people than me here anyway. time's up, I'm done.