It's only the second week of school, actually the first full week and I'm already so stressed out from studying. I'm not sure exactly how to study but I'm learning. I think maybe I should just make study guides so that's what I'm doing. Oh my gosh, I got to eat at the nicest restaurant last night, TrueLuck's. It was so good and I had such a good time. This past Saturday I wanted to go home so bad and was trying to get my boyfriend to come meet me in Waco to eat. It didn't happen but in the long run I'm glad because I finally made some friends. I'm the kind of person who likes to have a lot of friends to hang out with and usually they are mostly guys. Though this doesn't much help my boyfriend's peace of mind. I'm not sure my roommate is that way but whatever. Anyway, well I met these really cool guys who I really like hanging out with. Sometimes I don't think Ashley likes them as much and it pisses me off because it makes me feel like she thinks I'm wrong to hang with guys because I have a boyfriend and so does she and well we're just really different. Well these guys ended up needing dates to a dinner for their fraternity so we said we'd go, I think Ashley only said yes because she had been drinking. Well I had so much fun and the guy I went with turned out to be really nice. It was great to finally go out and do something with people. I feel more at home now. Now to my boyfriend. We were best friends for 2 years before we even thought about dating. I love him so much and although I'm only 18 I pretty much believe he's the guy I'm suppose to be with when I get married. But my going away to college has been hard on both of us and in some ways harder on him. I understand that he's back home and doing the same things he's done for 3 years so he doesn't have as many things to keep his mind of missing me as I do but before we never argued and now he's always mad at me about something. He makes me feel awful when I go out and I know he doesn't mean to but it happens. He can't understand where I'm coming from. The guy I dated never cried every night and now he does and it gets depressing and makes me feel guilty. I want to have fun here without knowing that he's at home mad or crying. He's not the crying type of guy so I just don't understand. I love him more than anything and he should realize that, that is all that matters. No other guy here will ever take his place but that doesn't mean that I won't make other guy friends and go out with them. I don't even look at guys the same way because of Brent. My life here does not mean that what I feel in my heart is suddenly going to change. I just wish that he would go back to being the same Brent as before I left but I know that it is going to take time and I just need to realize this just as much as he needs to realize how bad he's making me feel. It's a compromise situation but I think everyone should have to go through this because if we're still together in the long run I know our relationship will be just that much stronger. I'm going home this weekend and I can't wait finally I can show Brent that my feelings for him are the same and I get to see my mom and sister. I have to go to my dad's and since he just moved out a few weeks ago it will be my first time to go and I'm not really looking forward to it. I want things to go back to normal with my family. The way it's suppose to be. If there is such a thing. The months before coming to college were so hard and stressful that at times I'm glad I'm here and away from all of it. At least I don't have to listen to the screaming and fighting. I wish my mom would try to fight for my dad and like lose weight or something. But she's being stupid. I miss my sister so much and my dog Tinker. My sister and I are so close we might as well be twins so I hate being away from her.