thinking about how school is so different, so many people, so many things to do, all the perpetual motion. music is great, is it really what I want ot do? I love it and it is fun, lovely, dorm food is horrible, it gives me gas, soggy waffles, watery milk, I miss thorin, I love him,I want to hold, kiss him, waht are my parents thinking? I know they want me to call them, later. i want to be in wind ensemble, really do, I don't know about university symphony band or whatever, it is really good that sarah has a quiet keyboard, or I woul disturb her too much, dorms are too loud, I can study though, not too hard, I wish my stupid tape player owuld work, king singer are the best, I wish I could sing like htat, too much reading to do, after a while I will get into a routine and not waste too much time,. I like psychology class, so mamy interesting things and people to know, I'm glad ben and bret are in the class how is shellsea doing? she sleeps too much and she was at jeremy's house tuesday nite and why do people party so much, ther is too much to do, I want to go to the bassoon party tomorrow, and met people, they are all very fun, duh they;re bassoonists, we;re wierd peole, why do I feel like I am not capable of this look how manyo hter stupoid epople make it thorugh college, an di am smarter than most, I want to meet peole to sing and play guitar with and be christian around nad spend more time wiht thorin and have hom be more christian, and I want ot have kids with him, I love him so much and I can't believe we are engaged, I'm so happy and I know it will last forever, and my parents will be happy about it when we tell tem, or at least I hope so what is every one in high school doing now? mr. mladenda, mrs. rogers templin, lewis, everyonw, I hope julie is ok but she stays away from thorin in a romantic sense and I hope that I can settle down and find my own group with whom to study and have fun and not party  too much and not drink ever and never do drugs and kelly is iresponsible and I hope college helps her cause I like her a lot, I wonder if she's a lesbian? she likes guys though, oh well, I wish I had a car to go places and have fun and visit thorin, and family and I really need more time to write letters and communicate with peopole about what is going on, I want to visit casey and talk to all my german family and friends face to face agin and talk to al yfu and chemnitz alumni and melvin b and other people that I love for being so wonderful and cool and happpy with theri lives and laura is doing? I want to know what she is doing and visit her and tell her abou t thorin and tell her the truth aabout denis and why do I not like him so much? he made me betray myself and then betrayed me and I hate him,  to say it is good, but not because god says forgiveness is holy, but how could he and now I'll be in a rut because it's so depressing and now I''ll make myself think of something else, how and I going to do the bus schedule? is there a wc bus going in the other direction? probably not but I will never know because I. i need to save my bike for winter and for psych class this is a cool writing assingnment the book I read like htis was awesome and I thought it was really different and wow I really want to be in wind ensemble and the orchestra, and I miss thoring and I am really tired, I got up too early and then that stupid class was canceled and this is really hard to do when you're tired because of the distractedness and the staring off into space that goes on and I hope I'm not distrubing sarah and I need a computer of my own so I can not tie up hers all the time and I hope she doesn't mind and I need to e-mail thorin so he has my new address and can send my lovely letters agagin, and I wonder how it will be living apart for now but then having an apartment or living in married studetn housing, my wedding will be beautiful and lovely and grandad will officiate with bubbles and flowers and mom's wedding dress and my twenty minutes are almost up so I think I will press the button that says click ONCE to submit.