its hard to think what comes in your head naturally when you're told to do it. I wonder what my pledge brothers are doing now. I was having fun. I should've gone to these classes more so I would know this was coming up. I guess skipping class for the band makes it worth it though. when is Chris going to move up here? I hope they don't make me depledge for the band, that's just dumb. its all michael's fault anyway. he's just pissed that he didn't pledge and now he's left out of everything. well that's not my fault. I hope catherine doesn't think I'm weird. I just figured I could ask her to the party cause most girls want dates. maybe she did want to go but who knows now? ill ask cat pat. whatever. i've fallen in love like 30 times a day since I moved in here anyway. I want to play my guitar. college is cool except classes get in the way. if I could just play my guitar all day, id be a happy man. besides, the only way we can consider ourselves growing in intelligence and intellect is when we realize more and more how ignorant we are. animals may not speak to each other in words, but they also don't kill each other for reasons other than food and defense. we do. that's a good thought. I need to put that into a song. we only get smarter when we realize how ignorant we truly are. maybe this paper will be worth a damn. ah well, I wonder if people are going to know I write all the lyrics to our songs? I bet they wont since Michael sings them all. its like the motley crue deal where no one knew that six wrote the words and Vince just sang em. he sucks at singing anyway. I hope he doesn't read this one, I should watch my language. whatever. man is bekker going to call or what? she gets all pissy that I haven't talked to her and now the first chance I get i've called and she hasn't called back. that's probably what she wants though, me to start thinking about her. oh well, she's hot. I which there was a way to write out these blank spots in my train of thought where I don't even know what I'm thinking about. I bet I do but the memory isn't there so I don't know by the time I'm about to type it. I guess I just put those blank spots into words though. good job matt. wow, only half way done. I wonder how my high school football team is doing. I can't believe I made it through that. adolf as my coach for three years?! that's amazing. I'm proud of myself, no one expected someone like me to stick with it. now all the older frat guys respect me cause I played against half of em and I never stayed down. hell, one of them walked on at UT. I wonder if I'm going to be spending the rest of my life challenging myself or if ill one day be secure in how I am. I wonder if I need to be using punctuation and capital letters. I bet his computer thingy is going to mark my paper as something to check cause it wont make sense with the punctuation and capital letters missing. whatever, hell read it and think I think I'm cool since I rambled on for 10 minutes about high school football. I enjoyed that class last time, I need to start going to class every day. damn matt, you're going to screw up college and you're smart as hell. this is why you're stuck home tonight with a twenty minute paper and an astronomy test both tomorrow. I bet I have something in Spanish but forgot. I've been to that class every time though. if every class took roll, I don't think id survive. weird that I never once skipped a class in high school. no detentions, aep, nothing. I was good as hell. I guess my mom working there influenced me at first and then it was just a habit once I realized I owned my mom so I never had any desire to skip. I guess now that the band has a chance to do something good cause were not stuck in Houston anymore I can skip. I see it more like this band is like another person having an internship at a law firm. they want to be a lawyer but their parents made them major in cooking or something. would they skip the internship for cooking? hell no, neither would I. I'm going to skip cooking. or class in general. I'm going to be happy dammit and I'm not happy unless I'm playing in the band. just hope my parents don't find out. maybe if I do well this semester then they wont watch as much next so I can put even more focus on music. who buys a ball of rubber bands? why is this ball here? why am I not on my own computer? why can't they just make it and ship it? this sucks man, johns going to start getting annoyed that I'm on so much. oh well, at least he's not here now. I can't believe he knocked my guitar over this morning. I can't believe I slept through my alarm this morning. I want to sleep. whatever I'm done with this. I'm going to study astronomy now. yet another class that's been avoided.