I wonder if he thinks about me as much as I think about him. I met this new guy though. I hate it because I have no idea what anyone else here is looking for the same things as I am. I honestly can't wait to be done with school and get on with my life. I hate how slowly the time passes. I just want to be done with school and everything and get a job and get married. I really want to meet someone and fall in love. Its like I am constantly looking for a relationship or something. I guess that since we just broke up I want someone. I wonder if that is how he feels right now too since he just broke up with his girlfriend, so maybe that Friend thing wasn't such a good idea. But I really like him and think he is marriage material or something. I just don't want to be a rebound girl!  I don't know, I wonder if Michelle is coming home today because I hate being here by myself because I think too much when I am alone. I am having so much trouble studying because I can't concentrate. I think about stuff that is constantly on my mind. I am really worried that I am not going to do very good this semester. It really worries me. I feel so overwhelmed with things to do and its like I really want a relationship to take the pressures off. I hate to think about what other people think about me, since I am starting my life over here kind of its like I want to make a good impression. I wonder if anyone else feels like that. I want to meet Mr right so bad it seems. I hate how I thought I really loved Damian and all that stuff and then I come here and think about him a lot and now lately after I met this guy all I think about is him and I try to think about Damian. maybe the reason I think about him so much is because he is the first guy that has really shown any interest seriously or made a conscious effort. I try so hard not to make a bad impression. I guess it doesn't really matter. Sometimes I really wish that I could just totally get something out of my head or someone and not even think about it. Sometimes I am thinking about something so much that I can't even sleep. I used to want to go home really bad to see Damian and now I want to spend time with this guy. he just broke up with his girlfriend and all but he makes me not think about Damian. I really thought I loved Damian but he made me feel so crappy all the time and lately I honestly haven't thought of him. He better email me so I will think about him. I don't think he does think to do things for me though. Like he is supposed to go up to the college today and do it but he won't want to make the effort I bet. Ugh!  That is one of his worst qualities. I am too consumed by relationships right now and I really wish that I could concentrate really hard on school and get out of here and get an awesome job. the future really scares me. I am really worried about school too. I feel so tense and stressed all the time and there is so much overwhelming me. I can't keep track of everything and know I am going to end up forgetting something!  I hate the feeling and nothing can make me not feel this way. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to come to college and try to be successful. I hate how competitive everything is here and all. I really feel ugly all the time too, and fat and I need to go work out but there really isn't ever time to do all this. I am a horrible procrastinator and can't seem to get things done!  I really need to write my mission statement for BA class. I have had so long to do that and I haven't done it yet. That is something I have absolutely no desire to do and I wish I didn't have to do it. I am feeling so stressed out right now. It is so hard to make myself study and I never feel like I know as much as any one else and I never feel like I study enough. I have only really studied like two times and I need to get on the ball. I am so scared about Calculus and have a really bad feeling that I am going to do bad in there. There are so many things I want to do in a day and feel there are never enough hours. I hate walking everywhere. Everything is such a huge chore or task it seems like here!  I absolutely hate feeling that way too. I feel like I was kind of rude to my parents when they were here. I feel like I don't have time to ever really enjoy my self!  I can't stand that feeling either. I think I would feel so much better about myself if I would just spend more time studying. Then I wouldn't have to worry so much about school or doing badly. I also wish I would go workout more because I really am going to get fat pretty soon!  I feel like taking a really long road trip and not thinking about school or guys or my future. Just without thinking about anything.