Okay, here we go. I am going to type continuously for 20 minutes. I don't know how I can do this considering that I type pretty fast and also I am in the UGL and the keys are making quite a loud clicky noise with each letter that I type. Oh well, no one seems to be listening. I am really tired right now and all I can think about is sleeping soundly in my comfortable bed. drifting into a relaxing deep sleep. IT'S ONLY BEEN ONE MINUTE! I can't do this for that long. I have nothing interesting on my mind. hmmmmm I had a fun time last night. I got in at 6 in the morning. IF only my mother could see me now. that's the latest I've ever gotten in. am I typing loud? I don't want to do this anymore. I am very nervous about people looking over my shoulder right now at this very instant reading at the ridiculous things that I am typing. bored bored bored bored. I miss my friend jennifer a lot. we talked earlier this week and she said she would call me back. but she never did. today in Barnes and noble I was by myself looking at books and saw one that reminded me of jennifer and I really felt like bursting out in tears right there in the middle of that bookstore. somehow I held it back. hell right now I want to cry. I really miss all of my Dallas friends like so much. we've been through everything together and it's like we're drifting apart. I guess it's inevitable, though. I mean I've seen it a thousand times in films: the classic high school seniors move away to college scenario. but I never thought that it really would be this hard. I'm living on my own. I am my own mother now. That's pretty damn scary! I think I'm responsible though. I've always been able to manage my time wisely. Even my mom agrees with that. IT'S ONLY BEEN 3 MINUTES. or 4 maybe. I really like this guy I met. like really. it's just something about him. and it's so disenchanting that he's playing hard to get with me. I'm a very sensitive person with not a lot of dating experience, so games are not my idea of fun. I hope he's not looking over my shoulder right now. I'm really paranoid right now. I don't want him to see that I'm writing about him for this. god, if he saw this he would freak out. he probably thinks I'm stalking him anyway. I'm really not. I think I am inventing things in my head. I do that a lot. I can't believe I'm writing all this out for this assignment. oh well, this is probably not even going to be read by anyone. Well, hopefully not. I mean this is pretty boring stuff, teenager's brains. YIKES! so okay it's given that this will not be read. at least I am assuming that it is. So, with that in mind I really am open to write whatever the hell I want to write. This is for my benefit, in essence. Like a diary entry that you turn in for a grade. Not typical, but hey it happens. oh god! I really like that guy. I hope he shares something like that about me. he said he'll call me tomorrow. maybe. he did say maybe. then he said maybe Tuesday. Hell, I'm sick of waiting around for this guy. I always do this. I cling on so fast to people I'm interested in even after just meeting them. It's like I have a onetrack mind and it's all I can think about. That's pretty scary, huh? Wow I just scrolled up and I've written a lot. A lot of really boring stuff too. He probably won't call tomorrow. Who am I kidding? I can't keep doing this to myself. It's really unhealthy. I just want to cry after realizing this. It's such a horrible thing. I am putting this guy up on a pedestal  is that how you spell it?  and like if he messes up just a little bit, then I think that he hates me and I'm just this horrible person. God I say the stupidest things around him sometimes. I'm so concerned with trying to impress him that I just end up saying stupid things. that he won't even remember, but I am again blowing it out of proportion. Who am I kidding, I need to get my mind off this guy. but grrrrr! everyone now compared to him just doesn't seem to measure up. Like everyone I meet, I hold off on just for that rare chance that I might get to date this guy. I am a weird person. I am still paranoid about people looking over my shoulder. It feels like the whole world is scrutinizing me. Whoa that's scary. I love embellishing in my selfpity. it's so encouraging. NOT REALLY. wow the whole lab is completely silent except for my really loud typing. I feel like each letter I type is a clap of thunder booming and echoing into the distance. time is like momentarily slowed down and every thunder clasp is loudly emphasized. Wow, my 20 minutes are almost up. How did that go so fast? What did I write about? I can't even remember. I really don't want to look back at what I wrote either because I'm sure it's just the same thing over and over again. but I'm sure I will look back at it in just a second. well, if anyone is reading this, I envy your patience. until next time. That is all.