College isn't exactly as I had always pictured it. Of course I've always had and imaginative mind and nothing ever turns out the way I picture it. I think I'm slowly beginning to adjust, however. At the beginning I was miserable. I felt like I didn't have any friends and would never make new ones. Now I seem to have connected better with the people here from my hometown and even have a few acquaintances but it's not everything I want. I had hoped to find new friends immediately which I knew deep down wouldn't happen. It takes time, but still. A bunch of my friends including my boyfriend are coming to Austin this weekend for a visit. I don't really know how I feel about that. In a way I'm relieved because now I don't have to worry about sitting at my dorm all night, but these were also people I had wanted to get away from. They're all great people and I love them but I feel like when they're here they hold me back from making a new life here. I lose time I should have spent getting to know people who live here with me. That way when my friends leave I won't be left completely alone here. The comfort of having them here completely takes away my incentive to go out and grow. I wonder if I'll ever feel like I completely fit in here? One thing I definitely need to do is get on some kind of exercise program. I feel so lazy. I've always been a procrastinator, especially when it comes to doing schoolwork. That's another thing that scares me. I am so lazy! I slacked off all through high school and graduated tenth in my class. High school was easy for me. I know I can't expect to do the same thing in college and still manage to do great, but I can't seem to make myself study. I know I'm just lazy and will have eventually have a very rude awakening, but what can I do? It's not even like I spend the time I should be studying on something constructive. I watch tv or listen to music. I go out every chance I get because it seems my social life is far more important to me than school. I'm hoping once I settle in and feel more comfortable I'll settle on some routine but when will that be? Whenever it is I'm going to start exercising soon and eating better. I always say that though and never do it. This time I will though. Hmmm I say that a lot to. I wish I was just a more motivated person. I also wish I had a much higher selfesteem. I see girls walking all over campus so sure of themselves. They're not afraid to walk up and talk to anybody. I have my moments like that but only if the opportunity is just perfect for it. The girl next to me is typing really fast and now I'm distracted because I'm trying to see how fast I can type. I think I'll check my mail after this is over. I don't think I should have any since the last time I checked it but you never know. Maybe something from my friend at Harvard. I haven't heard from him yet. I had my second set of Thursday quizzes today. I thought they seemed pretty easy. I don't know if the work I showed on the first calculus problem was correct but I know the answer was, so I'll just hope for the best. That class worries me a lot. It's not hard yet but I have a feeling that won't last. Math has always been my best subject and if I can't do well in that, how can I expect to do well in any of my other classes? I wish I could make some good friends in there because I know as the class gets harder I'll need people to study with. Twenty minutes is up. Bye