This is the second paper I have written like this because somehow the other one disappeared right when I was trying to push the   Finish   button. It seems like my life is always going the wrong way or I have bad luck such as this for most of the time. I did just get through working out with my   Tae-bo   tape. After completing that I always feel 100% better about myself and problems. I guess you could say that is how I deal with all of my stress,even though my life is not all that bad. Whenever someone thinks their life is terrible I always think about those children that you see on television that are starving or sick. I don't know why but I whenever I see a homeless person on the street I immediately feel sorry for them but then I start to think about why they don't have a job or are not in a shelter. My mind goes back and fourth like that a lot. Austin has a lot of homeless and I am so not used to that atmosphere, that is partly why I don't like living here. And because my boyfriend wants me to come back closer to where he lives which is Dallas, where I live as well. I chose Austin and UT because a lot of people told me that I should not go here, including my boyfriend. That just made me want to come even more though, dispite the fact that I could tell at orientation that I was not going to like it. My boyfriend is very important to me though because I have dated him for 4 years and we have a really special relationship. I can tell just by looking at him exactly what he is thinking about. I have never really had that with anyone before and he always tells me that he loves me. I find this kind of annoying because in my family I don't think that my mom or dad have ever told me those three words. My grandmother has but I used to just say it not even thinking about what it really meant. I guess that is why whenever he tells me that repeatably it starts to get on my nerves. Hopefully I don't have love issues or something of that nature because don't get me wrong I truly know that my parents love me but they just never told me. I have had a good life so I really don't need to complain about small things. I am in a very difficult spot in my life, college is a lot harder than most people say. I mean I expected the classes to be difficult and challenging but not the living on your own part. I was always so ready to get away from my house and away from the town that I lived in. Now I am not so sure about this because I don't really like Austin. I believe that I would have been better at a smaller school but I never really thought about those issues when I was selecting a college. I was too busy talking to or seeing my boyfriend or worrying about stupid high school bull that goes on everyday. I should have not cared where my best friend went to school, even though she was supposed to come here with me and then suddenly changed her mind without telling me. I am not resentful or anything but I feel that it is partly her fault, no it's not it is all my fault. I am the one who chose my future and now I want to change those plans. I guess I should be greatful that my roommate is not some freak with earrings and tattoos all over her body. I always think that things can always get worse and if you're lucky they sometimes get better. At least I did not get stuck in the same room as my suite mates because they are kind of snobbish. For instance, if I see them outside of our dorm then I have to say hi and if I don't they pretend they don't know me. I don't understand why people are like that but who am I to make a judgement, for all I know they are really sincere and nice people. I talk about people way too much but if you do it for so long it just comes natural and you can't stop. My room is actually really comfortable right now, usually it is either way hot or real cold.