so I don't really know what to type about. I hope this does not have to be like grammatically correct or anything because I don't ever use capital letters. twenty minutes is a really long time. I don't know if I can even type that lone. I don't know if I ever have in my entire life without stopping or taking a break. is weird to write down what I'm thinking because I think I try to think about what to write so I'm not completely sure this is really what I'm thinking. I hope no one reads this too carefully. so its always been really cold in my room but now its kind of hot. I think this could be a good way to vent some of my feelings. I keep thinking about kurt and I wonder if I should call him back or not. everyone keeps saying to never call him back because he only called me because rachel is in dallas but I don't even think for sure that he called because he wants to get back together maybe he just wanted to explain since he never did. I think my foot is falling asleep. I almost wish I had a desktop computer so that this keyboard was not so small. my hand keeps hitting the mouse while I type and it waves around in front of what I'm writing and that makes it hard to concentrate. anyways, I don't want kurt to think that I have been sitting around hoping that he would call or anything because at first a pop up just came up on my screen. I didn't think they would bother me that much but its starting to get on my nerves esp. ok so this other thing just popped up and it said to hold down enter for ten seconds to see some cool thing and I didn't want to because with all my pop ups I figured it would just lead to porn or something of the likes so I tried to push the little x in the corner and it wouldn't close and then it went to some screen with stars or something and said enjoy your break now get back to work. at first I thought it was for this maybe it was but then I got back to this screen and my time was starting all over. that sucks. I hope this is over soon. anyways I'm still thinking about kurt. no one can assume that he called me back because he wants to get back together. he could just want to talk. he did say the first time that he just called to see how I have been. and I'm still mad at him for what he did but I do want to forgive him because I just don't want something like that hanging over me forever and I hate to hold grudges. and I do want us to be friends and I know it would be hard for me to say I didn't want him back but even if that is what he wanted I wouldn't do it no matter how hard because of what he did to me. plus I'm in college and I don't need to have a boyfriend back home. I need to meet people. but I really do miss him a lot. I hope it gets easier. which is part of why I will call him because I really need to close that part of my life and end it and I can't think of the word but something like finalize it. I hope my battery does not die on my laptop and I hope that another popup does not come and mess up my time again because I really need to get this done. I have a lot to do today. but I'm glad I got done what I did this morning. I need to find out about the whole football ticket draw thing. and I hope I wrote down in my planner about that trig review class. then I have all those small chores that I have to do tonight but I don't think ill have time especially since this is taking so long. I have never experienced a longer twenty minutes than this in my life. at least I should be improving my typing skills. I hope it rains this weekend or even today. no maybe tomorrow because ill be outside today. I can't wait until it get cooler outside so I can walk places. yeah right like I really will but maybe I really will. I have taken the stairs up to my room a few times. I think I may fall asleep after this or maybe even right now. I need to move my leg this hurts. wow I'm really really sleepy o I also need to remember to call joey back tonight before I call back kurt. I feel so bad I hope he is not mad at me for ditching them but I needed to go out with christi because we hadn't really done anything together. and I'm glad I did because that was a lot of fun. but I do hope he is not mad or anything and we can get together later. I wonder if I should join the texas exes. I don't know if this is really what I'm thinking because I know in the back of my head all I'm really thinking about is how much I hate typing all this and how I can't wait until its over but at least I'm doing it today instead of tomorrow night so ill have it done and don't have to worry about it. I'm going to try and not procrastinate. bad start though I'm only on chapter one in psychology those chapters are so long and boring I hate that book. I hope this does not deduct points. I wonder if I should stop now since that pop up messed up my timer. oh well I only have about four minutes left anyways so I might as well keep going. o I need to go tanning tonight too. ahhhh I have so much to do tonight and most of it involves reading that damn psychology book o and I have to read that philosophy book. I really like my schedule how it is though that is nice that I don't have any real classes today so I can get caught up. yay I'm almost finished good because I'm really sleepy now and I want to take a nap even though there is no way that I really have time for that but maybe I will anyways just like a few minutes to rest my eyes yeah right ill fall asleep and probably won't wake up until like nine or ten I spell out numbers because I don't know what keys to use yay I'm finished