Man today was a really long day. I'm a so tired but I have all this crap to do still. mostly calculus. I don't know why I took 408D. its so freaking hard. I hope I'll do okay because I just have to. I signed up for tutoring but I don't know how much that'll help. I like this cd I'm listening to. I've listened to it a million times but still like it. man I'm really upset that alias isn't coming on this season. I love that show. It was one thing I was looking forward to this semester. I wish I could be like Sydney and kick butt. but instead I'm really boring. man I am so freaking tired. the bathroom has gotten really disgusting. I don't want to be the only one to clean it but I don't want to be the only one to complain that its dirty. I hate cleaning toilets. I mean it would be okay if it were at home because that's like our toilet and I kind of know the germs around. but this is used by four other girls and eeeeek I just can't think about it with out cringing. college is about cleaning bathrooms or learning how to. I guess I'll get used to it. Its going okay so far. I mean its fun and all but I don't know. I really really miss home. Its weird not coming home to your family everyday. I've met some really cool people but I still miss my old friends. but I'm getting used to going places by myself. Woo hoo I'm no longer a person that asks her friends to come with her to the bathroom. sheehs its only been 5 minutes. I don't know how much more I can type. This is a cool assignment not much thinking involved but wait haha I am typing what I am thinking so hey. my fingers are beginning to hurt from typing so much without stopping. Wait I missed my favorite song on the cd. Oh well. I wish asthma were here with me. We could do some awesome stuff together. but amrita seems really cool we've had great convos. but I'm still scared to make new close friends like I loved my friends from hs. We were such GOOD friends. Making new friends involves retrusting strangers and just starting over. Its hard for me I'm not one of those people who can socialize with anyone anywhere. I feel really  alone sometimes in a room full of people but I guess that's natural. wow its only been 8 min and 48 seconds. but I shouldn't complain  this is better than doing limits in calculus. lord calculus. I'm so worried I have to do good I have to. After this I should start some calc go over notes and then hwrk. tomorrow is discussion so it shouldn't be so bad. but I'm still worried sometimes the ta randomly calls on people to answer questions which isn't good when I'm totally clueless. Its embarrassing. but I guess I'm not the only one. Some people didn't know the answers either. The only thing is that in the class there's all these engineering majors completely engrossed in calculus they seem to understand everything. the class would be tons easier if I knew someone in there to help me. but there is morty. he's in a diff class but he says he'll help me. He's so freaking nice. he helps out a lot and hangs out with me even though I can be boring haha. I think he feels bad for me because I'm not adjusting as well as him to college. he's having like the time of his life . So many friends and places to go. I should keep my self busy so I won't get so lonely. I'm joining clubs and stuff but that makes me nervous. I want to run for office but its so scary for some reason. I have second thoughts about everything I have no idea why. I wonder where my roommate went. She works out everyday. Its inspiring I should too. I'll go to the gym. Haha I'll try who knows if I actually will. I went once and really liked it but I just have to find time. It seems like I have boatloads of work. but college is good. I'll get through it. I just don't know why people say its the best time of their lives. so far it just seems alright. Who knows I still have at least 4 years . I'm so sleepy. 5 more minutes of this and then calculus. No time to sleep. Ooh I need to watch RNC tonight. I missed last night but Laura bush was there. It might of been interesting even though I'm not much for republicans. everything lately is so political. its funny. in every class discussion there is some mention of elections. like in psychology the polls were really interesting. how people afraid of death are more likely to vote for bush. who knows if its actually true but I think there's some validity to it. sigh. I'm going home this weekend. I'm excited. I'm getting a ride from a stranger kind of so its weird. Haha that's what's cool about being Indian. parents can always find some other Indian kid to drive you home. oh well. I'm so tired there's only 2 minutes to go. This was actually cool and stress relieving. you know when you have so much on your mind its good to let it out. oooh asthma just imed me. I haven't talked to her in a while. damn she hangs out with matt Clark now. I find that to be so freaking funny. who would of thought? anyways man all I can think about is sleeping and dreaming haha I like dreaming lately I have weird dreams last time I had this nightmare