Ok I suppose I should start typeing er typing I mnean er mean that is typo but that is ok, there are no backing up er is. Wow, I cannot think I am supposed to do this until the end but I don't want to be late for computer science across the way I wonder who has to read this, and all the other 519 entries and if they ever think "How tedious" but I digress. Not actually that that means anything, but I thought it so I should write it, correct? Yeah. Good ska is hard to find. i need music to keep me up. my sound system makes me forget my problems I don't need to think about Like being dropped from journalism, not that seeing my ex-girlfriend helped any. The only analogy is like a nailbomb going off inside my head today. I am kind of stressed, but that is what everybody will write, right? Hey, I can rhyme. I need to write lyrics for the songs for The Pinfields. Not that I have the time. even tho I should be calling work and this feels like a waste of time because it doesn't seem like work, it seems like emailing a friend or some such nonsense. Its not that, but I don't know. If I keep typing, what will it get?  I don't make sense. Shit, I am tired. I need to schedule my life away to keep up, not that she has any problems or anything. I need to stop worrying about myself. I need to look at the others and help. I don't care but apathy is bad so I do. I hate something or another. I have too many bad habits. I I I me me me. God, I am such a fucking self centered dork. I hope I don't offend anyone. Not that that matters. I need to call work, get a vcr, get a couch. Go to ben's. that's right. WHat time is it. 1205. that means 12 minutes Until I haul ass to computer science. I am not that deep of a person I suppose. i wonder if I can make it as a lyricist. did James gfet my email? I don't know. Argh. At least (ergh I mean) this music is good. THis is bad posture and I don't need this towel. I am trying to focus on the black circle (or dot) in my head because I made it up as a way to not let over-analyzing everything drive me crazy and found out it was actually a technique for relaxation. crazy. But I don't think that that is something. I need everything to just wait 1 day so I can calm down. BUt Oh god. I have 12 hours. THey dropped me. I am screwed. Now I'm on the waiting list. i ll call mom. She'. l. tell me what I can do. Not that I depend on people too much. I think in phrases don't I? I wonder if I use question marks in my head. Almost there. No poem, no artistic expression. Just my usual moronic behavior. God. I am such a selfcentered loser. I am not as good as anybodY. The tape ended. I try to make it so I think everyone is equal, but I can't. I end up making myself think I am lower just to compsensate. God. I need to find religion. I need to stop complaining. I need to chill . I I I me me me. I need to shut the hell up. I just need to calm down. I need to leave. I need to get a bike. when I am going to get the stiff on my room down. I am tiared. Am I hungry?  I don't think so. I don't want to eat. well now that I dwell on it. a little bit. That cool. The way the light is regfelected on the mirror on my wall. No gramm ar or punctuation. Not important. Is it 12:17? no. 1213. er 14. changed. God. Is it? I nedd to clean this palce up. All the thoughts that run through my head. "mirror in the bathroom please don't freak. The door is locked just you and me let me take you to a restaurant thats got glass tables we can watch ourself while you are eating" ugh sleep I need sleep. Sleep is god. I don't want to offend god tho. I think I've don e enough to wanyway. no I need to not ERGH ergh that s just it ergh ergh ergh ergh ergh ergh ergh Vent Don't break stuff. Remember the door. Remember the wall and the shattered glass. bleeding. No. ergh. Bad. Violence isn't the answer but neither is self blaming. BUT peopple can blame me without any second thought. How does that work. I should leabve. I dislike everything. I am. NOt I like no wait how uh ergh. monosylabic just don't work because I just don't quit this shit is aurally aesthetic kind of like a prescription from a stressed medic. Fin.