I feel really stressed about school right now. I hate my rhetoric class, because she makes us turn in homework everytime we meet which is three days a week. So I am behind in my reading for a lot of other classes that I am taking. It makes me so frustrated that she doesn't seem to care that I am taking 15 hours of credit and I don't have time to read a 150 page novel in two days. I'm drinking this drink called Capri Sun. Its ok but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I'm really thirsty though and I don't really want to drink water. Our water tastes gross too. I don't know what is in it, but everytime we put it in our refridgerator, it gets a bad taste to it. Everytime my roommate talks about the water tasting bad, I think of the movie Signs, and that cute little girl who said her water tastes old. Atleast if aliens come to earth, we'll have water to through on them. My monitor is on the fritz. It keeps turning neon shades of red. . more like purplish pink. Or something of that nature. It really makes my eyes hurt when it does that. I just hit it and it goes back to normal for a few moments. I can't figure out why its doing that except for the fact that it is old. I talked to my old friend Kyle last night. He called me a cutie. Why I don't know. I didn't really know how to react to a comment like that especially from him, because we had a history a long time ago, and things were never really the same. I really liked him too. It kind of unnerved me when he said those things. I just kept saying   how can you say something like that to me  . He is really good with mind games, so he kind of played around with my mind for a moment there. He makes me so mad, but at the same time, I like to hear that kind of stuff from him. It does make me feel pretty. I don't really know what this thing is supposed to help me do. . the whole writing in a stream of conciousness way seems hard to do. I just write what I think, but at the same time I feel like I am thinking what I want to write, just so I can write it, as confusing as that sounds. I miss my friends. They are too far away to see. Some of the people who came to UT with me live on the other side of campus and they don't ever call. I felt like everyone already had friends when we got here and their   old   high school friends didn't matter any more. It really hurt my feelings to realize that. I honestly believed them when they said that they wanted to hang out with me when I got to school. My other friends live far away. they all have new friends too. I feel left out or behind, because I don't have a new good group of friends. I really hope that my mom is doing ok. She always says that she is, and probably just because she doesn't want me to worry. But I do. I don't like being far away from her, because I can't keep up with how she is. Not that she is unhealthy all too much, but sometimes she will hurt her back, or she, like everyother human, gets sick. I pretty much think of her as a superhero. Invinsible to the harm of the world. I want my mom to always be here with me. Now I am older and I know that my mom isn't anything other than a normal human, and it makes me worry. Anything can happen anyday to me, my mom, anyone I know. Its pretty frightening, but in the same sense you have to no think about stuff like that and just live life as it comes and live life for today. I try to do that. Maybe that is why I don't do my homework. I could die tomorrow and what would I have to show for it? An all nighter of reading. I hate reading. It is one of the worst things you could make me do. That and writing papers and having my peers grade me. I always feel like I am going to miss something if I am stuck reading. My mom and my sister are avid readers, but I do not share the same feelings for it. Plus if ever I don't understand a word, or the reading gets boring, I stop paying attention and therefore do not understand a single word I just read. I hate it. I have to read books multiple times to understand them and then I might never get it. I honestly wish that reading and writing were obsolete. Impossible and shallow I know. I mean, where would we be without that stuff? No where, I am assuming. Allthough I know better than to assume! I am not really a person who enjoys school. I love to listen to my teachers tell interesting stories, screen movies and make visuals in class. All of this taking notes and reading bores me. I wish school was like my elementary year and like my LEAP classes where cut and paste was the prefeered way of learning. Those were the days. It really stinks to be all grown up. And to think that a few years ago, that's all I wanted to be.