I am very, very tired. I have not been getting enough sleep, I wake up too early for my eight o clock math classes, and I can never seem to go to bed earlier than 2 in the morning. I want to go to bed earlier, but for some reason I just can not. Maybe part of the problem is that I am addicted to Diet Dr. Pepper, and I even drink them late at night. It is probally the caffeine that is keeping me up. I am also feeling extremely stressed out at the moment. I went through rush and became a pledge in a sorority that I love. I went through the whole process by my self. Unlike many other girls, my parents did not really help me, or even want me to. Now that I have become a member, we are accpted to pay a lot of money and my parents are telling me we do not have it. It is extremely frusterating because they are being complety unsupportive. I told them that I would get a job and they said that if my grades suffered then I would have to quit the sorority and the job, but since they are not offering to pay much money towards it, what exactly is it that they want me to do?? I am also extremely frusterated that I do not have a computer yet. I am in the college of education, and I ordered an ibook from the UT computer store. When I placed the   order, they told me it would take up to two weeks for the computer to be   in. It has been a week and a half so far. I called the store today and the lady was extremely rude and said that it usually takes three weeks   for a customer to receive their product. I am using my roomate's   computer at the moment, and although she says that she does not mind, I feel bad constantly using it, and I would just be more comfortable if I had my own. I also feel sick. I have had a sore and extremely scratchy throat for what feels like weeks now. I never seem to get better. One day I might feel a little more lively and energetic but the next day I will just feel worse. You know, I am usually not this pessimistic. In fact I am proud of the fact that I am so optimistic, however at this moment, right now, I just have a lot of problems and a lot of stuff to be upset about. The whole cost of my sorority is really stressing me out. I know that my parents want me to quit, they were hinting at it on the phone last night, but I just do not want to. It is something that I have gone through, and it is something that I enjoy. I am the first person on either side of my family to have joined either a sorority or a fraternity, and I would like to uphold this. I would like to prove to them that their is nothing wrong with it. My family can sometimes be close minded and I would like to be the first one to open up their mind on this idea. Lets see, so I don't sound like a depressed, basket case, let me think of the positive aspects in my life right now. To begin, I absolutely and completely am in love with college. I love my dorm, I like my roomates and my suitemates and all of the people that live in my hall. I have already established some awesome friendships and I know that as the year progresses, they will only blossom. I like my classes. I mean school is school, but the classes I am taking are somewhat interesting to me, and I do not really mind studying these subjects. I am in the college of education; I want to be an elementary school teacher, and I am very much looking foward to that. I can not wait to begin working with children. I love kids. I would like to have  four someday. Preferabally two girls and two boys, but it is not like I would not be happy with whatever I get. I am from Austin, and my parents and my two younger sisters live about fifteen minutes away. I have not seem my family all that much since I have moved in because I am trying to get the full college experience of going away. I almost decided against UT because I thought it was to close to home, but now I am so glad that I came here. However, the point of this was, I am not homesick because I have lived in Austin for the last 5 years. It is cool though because I never spent much time down on campus, so it is almost like I am in a new city. The guy that lives down the hall laughs at me because I am so bad with directions and do now know where the closest Wal-Mart of HEB are from our dorm. But I always tell him that it is because I am not from this part, I mean i just do not know this whole downtown/campus area of Austin very well. I am very excited because today I am beginning my diet and new excerise plan. Following a diet and watching myself lose weight always makes me feel better about my self. These are just some of my thoughts and feelings at this moment.