My roommate is trying to sleep, so I hope that I am not going to bug her by typing. I'm using her computer because mine is at home. I have no idea how to use the internet I need to go get my e-mail address so that I have one but I don't feel like it. I still have to get my books for two more classes tomorrow morning- I can't forget that. I miss my boyfriend- I hope he comes down this weekend cuz' I can't go up there again till he comes down to see me-I just wouldnt feel tight about it. He is such a jerk-I wish I could just meet someone else and get over him but it's so hard. I can't believe that Heather and Sebastian broke up this weekend-that's so sad. It seems so weird that relationships can totally dissolve so fast-where do the bonds you had with these people go so suddenly?  Relationships are so weird-love is weird. I would really like to meet someone that I am as attracted to as I am to Matt and that I love undoubtedly and someone who I know loves me that way, too. I would give anything to know exactly hoe Matt feels about me-why does he still have to play games with me-I f he cares about me, he should tell me-I do. I wonder what he will think when he gets that letter-I hope it doesn't freak him out-maybe I should have sent it-he's probably going to let all his friends read it and then I'll feel like a dumbass like always. I keep making mistakes and I know we aren't supposed to worry about them but I can't quit fixing them. I wonder if anyone will actually ever read this?  I wish my roommates boyfriend and his friend would leave-they've been here three freaking days-thats a little inconsiderate-I think and she keeps drinking all my lemonade-doesn't she realize that costs me money-I wouldnt care if she'd ask-but that is so rude, she doesn't even say thank you. That guy gives me the creeps and he just sits on our coach all day. I wish Emily and Lori could call me with their phone number-I really miss them. I need to call Cynthia, too, and see what sorority she got into. I wonder if she's seen Emily and Lori-will that all stay friends?  I feel left out-I wonder in Cynthia saw the bracelets-she will be so pissed at me if she did-I'll call her after 5. I can't wait to go play volleyball-I've got to finish my drama reading after this, too. I wonder if I am doing this right-I can't tell exactly what thoughts to write cuz some come to me while I'm writing others and then I lose them-I  need to write a poem-I've been losing so many good ideas and that pisses me off. only 11 more minutes to go. I havent typed in along time,  I would love to be with Matt right now-I am so glad that I haven't been thinking about him as much as I did before we moved-That would kill me, maybe I'm shielding myself a little cuz I still; feel like he is going to be the first person to really really hurt me-why is it that my self esteem hinges so much on his interest in me?  That is certainly not healthy, why did I just type certainly instead of definitely was thinking defiunatle, that was an idea for a poem that I still havent written down I need to remember that-I hope I like my poetry class-it will suck if I hate it after all the trouble I went to get in it. I'm glad that the part about my roommates boyfriend is gone now, I'm afraid shed walk in and read it-now she'll walk in and read this-oh well-three days is too long-I wonder if Matt will stay the night here when he comes or at t8m's house of that other guy who lives in Austin. I am anxious to go to College Station thought, but will I stay at Matt's house or at Emily and Lori's house. Will that be mad at me if I stay at Matt's. The computer just went back to the main menu cuz I guess I pushed Ctrl-whatever that menas-2 more minutes-I am so glad I didn't just lose the whole thing-I'd have been pissed beyond belief-my hands are getting tired. I have heartburn from my dada's chili still-I hate chili-why did I eat that anyway?  I can't believe Princess Diana is dead-it seems so weird-she is just as vulnerable as anyone but it never seems that way-now two princesses have died in car accidents-cars are so dangerous-time is up-Yay!