I just woke up and I'm a little confused as I try to figure out what subject I should be studying and which assignments I should be working on. This is all new to me. High school was nothing like this, never had to study. Now I really know what stress is supposed to feel like. Not that the classes are tough yet. I guess I'm used to being lazy. The food here is getting old and I'm scared of gaining that "freshman 15. " Tonight family is coming in, can't wait, a nice paid for meal. Lately I've been feeling sad. I parted from my 2 best friends a month ago to be here and now I can see how much I really depended on them. My life is so different. I have to try and fit into the friendships that were already made here this summer during provisionals. It's not fun. They're all in the sorority and I'm sick of going out every night. I talked to my best friends Amy and Christa everyday either on the phone or Internet. I don't know what I'd do without AIM. I miss them so much. I'm going home this weekend I need to see some familiar faces. I'm not one to be homesick I just feel I have no sort of comfort zone here even though I should. I mean my brother lives here but has his own life with his job and girlfriend. So I barely get to see him ever. I've been really sad the past 2 weeks. It's just been really hard. My boyfriend of 8 months is in the Marines and lives in 29 Palms, California. He doesn't get much time off with his new duties that he was promoted to so he had 96 hours off during Labor Day weekend and drove 1600miles to see me. I can't even believe it still, that 21hour drive had to be horrible. That's what keeps me going everyday. How much I can see by the way he's shown me, how much he cares and loves me that he would come all the way here. He finally bought a cell phone so we could talk easier instead of him waiting in the 2hour phone lines they have at the payphones everyday. He's also getting a job for his days off at a western wear store. He wants more money, he's so responsible, as if being in the marines isn't hard enough work already. Its really expensive with all the gas to drive here all they time and the flights are just crazy. I'm going to try and fly there for his birthday. I know my parents would absolutely kill me. I love him so much and we're of different religions so almost for a year now I've had to deal with my parents. I can't stand it, its drives me crazy inside sometimes how disapproving they are of someone they won't even get to know. It's not fair to me. They should be happy as long as he makes me happy. I would never not be with someone because of a religion that they were born into. Not to mention, the fact that we're both not deeply committed to our religions or were brought up that way. I can feel the tension and hurt coming up in the future. When he gets out we will be very close. He'll go to Southwest and we'll be together everyday, hopefully for the rest of our lives. I don't know, its just one more thing added on to my stress factors. Sometimes it's just easier to cry it all out but when I let that happen sometimes it lasts for almost 24 hours straight and I make myself sick. I've been sick all week and I hate it. I should be studying and I can't focus or keep myself to concentrate. I have to learn. I have to stick with it. I've decided I'm not going to go out at night unless it's a big function that I care about. It's not worth it. The party scene is old. I've been coming up to Austin the past 4 years for the big parties, pat O's, Atlantic city, and they just don't do anything for me anymore. I guess that would probably be because I don't drink and I don't' care to "hook up" with anyone so basically since those are the 2 main reasons that those fraternities have parties, they really just don't interest me. I'm personally fine with going to dinner with a couple of my girlfriends and renting a sappy movie and eating a lot of junk food. But that's just me. Something I do love here though is that I don't shower to go to class, don't get dressed up nor have I touched my make up bag since I left home. How fun is that? I love it. I just really don't care. Basically my plan is to try and focus on my studies, I won't have any boys here to distract me cause the only one I love isn't here. I'll do well in school and in the end we'll be able to be together. He has about 1 year and 10months left, but I figure I can make it. I mean he's already been in there for 2yrs and 2months and I've stood by his side the entire time, even before he joined. He means the world to me. I just can't even imagine my life without him and that's why I plan on staying with him. I know people think I'm dumb, that I'm wasting my college years staying committed to a long distance relationship, but I don't know why it would be dumb. As long as I'm happy why should I care right? I don't know, this whole college thing is really going to take some getting used to. I mean, me, doing my own laundry? That's just funny.