ben stiller and his movies crack me up I wish I was up stairs watching it right now and not writing for 20 minutes on what is on my mind but maybe this way I will tap into my subconscious or something my girlfriend is not answering her phone but she always does I wonder what she is doing. I'm happy that I'm going to dallas to see her but last night she was making me mad by hanging around other guys and at all these parties. I like ut but I think I would have a much better time at smu with her, not only would I be with her a lot more but I like the school better and its not so overwhelming and is a lot smaller. I feel bad for lying to her the other night about having our neighbors, some girls over, but whatever I mean she goes over to guys apts to hang out and I mean since I'm the dominant male figure I guess that inviting girls over means that you like them or something. whatever it just does not register right, I mean like its cool for her to go to a guys apt, but its not for me to have chicks over, like that is not fair and Its not like I like any of these girls its just that I want to be social and have girls as friends just as much as she does. you know its weird that I have these feelings but I almost feel like I could spend the rest of my life with her. she is fun witty sexy as hell blonde rich great person in her heart and I think everything that a guy would want, although she has great things about her there is also some downsides. like in party situations I always find her wondering off and talking to her friends and when I come up to her she acts almost as if she does not know me. is she ashamed? I don't think so but it could seem that way to others. but maybe its because I do it to, I mean when I'm at a party I like to be with my friends to so I guess were both guilty. damn that movie meet the parents is funny and I want to go watch it badly and I have only typed for 10 min, o well halfway done. so its like the glass is half full not half empty because I am a positive, optimist. I like the new book jarrett gave me. sometimes I'm just real un positve about things and a book on being positive can help me out in life and with school. this interview or presentation I went to last night for this sales company was pretty cool I think I could potentially make some money doing it but as I sat there and listened to this over-energetic guy talk about oh yea you can make all this money and blah blah blah I thought to myself this is just one of those get rich quick schemes because at the end of this thing you pay 50 for a application and some of there products, what company just lets you sit through a presentation and BAM you got the job. jarrest going to do it so I think since he has been successful in his endeavors with business and sales I think hey why not give it a try what is the worst that can happen. Bud sounds good right now although I have not smoked in a while I wonder why, I guess its cause I act different when I'm stoned and maybe I don't like it, I like to get high after I workout cause for some reason it feels good and makes me feel as if I'm not just a lazy pothead, is pennebaker going to care that I'm talking about this? o well that is what is on my mind so take it or leave it jk. yea I'm almost done with this , I thought this was going to be a formal paper with research and stuff but what a badass assignment, I think I'm going to like this teacher unlike my eco teacher Wolitz I can't stand her ugly face and bad teaching I just don't like her you know just one of those ppl. I bombed her test today to because she is boring and does not make the class want to learn anything.