ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
My mind is pretty tired right now, but I can't get it off of having a good dark cup of coffee. I have gotten all of my work for this week done already so I'm at ease about that. Whenever I type I have to look at the keyboard so it kind of pisses me off. Now I'll let my mind wonder, I sometimes think of home and all of my trashed out friends there. Have you ever wished you could help a person you care about a lot, and they just won't listen to you? Well my friends back home have been doing drugs heavily for a while and I cannot do anything about it. In a time where controversy and sex sell the theme, it's hard to decide which is the winning team. There are just some things in life we can't understand, like why in the hell we can fight over land. I think we all need a helping hand, so we can rise together and make a stand. At a time perfectly linked to your transition can you even tell me your position? No because 90% of us don't even listen and make the right choice for our provisions. I see a new generation with many faces. Bringing together people from many different places. I think discrimination is in our past, but I do not know how long that thought will last. It is a society we ourselves cast, and sometimes it seems like a supernatural blast. To think of all our generations drugs, hell I myself have been associated with thugs. But still we have a consensual love, and I don't even think it comes from above. My thoughts and feelings always rhyme so prepare yourself because it's my time. Fuck all of the bullshit and fabrication, for we are the ones who'll shape this great nation. So I do have a proclamation What do we do without an education and occupation? In a time when money and power mean everything, how in the hell do the bells of freedom ring? Sometimes I wonder about our future in store, and if we'll still neglect the poor. We have so many people locked in cells, it's almost as if we're under a spell. Cast by our so called forefathers, and I seem to be the only one it bothers. For evolution will always take its toll, look back at how we burned the totem pole. Who will burn us and how will we know? Until we're allowed to run our own show. Everyone is so quick to judge, and even quicker to hold a grudge. Just because we all have different views, doesn't mean we cannot find a use. So even though this shit won't sell, when will we wake up and demolish this hell? Our constitution is all of our rights, but it is changed everyday in the supreme court lights. Who are they to decide the meaning? I think we all see to which side it's leaning. Leaning towards more control over us, I think about it sometimes so much I want to bust. So when I say this I will not blush, Why are we in such a big fucking rush?
I woke up this morning and I'm thinking. "Where am I?"  And then I realize that I'm at A&M. I was so upset last night because I left after class got out at  6:30. Then everything went wrong. The trolley cart fell off the steps and all of my stuff went crashing to the ground. I got in my car and the needle was  practically buried to the red empty sign so I stop to get gas, then I decide that I had better eat something because as soon as I get there everyone will be ready to go out and I will be starving as usual and afterward no one will want to stop and get poor little old me anything to eat. And boy was I right. Audrey says it will only take and hour to an hour and a half to get here. Yeah right. Try two and a half. Someone goes off and gives me the wrong directions that takes me all the way to Hempstead!  I was so mad at myself because I finally make it here, but I don't have directions to Gayle's or Audrey's or their phone numbers. I found Audrey's and Ginger answered which was exactly what I didn't  want to happen. She bothers me. We used to be friends, but then I don't know what happened, it's like all of a sudden, the only thing that she  cared about was who she was around and how much she could be seen doing thins with Natalie and Amy. But now that she's up here all by herself she sure decided that Audrey and Gayle and I were perfect people to be her friends AGAIN. I just don't know I mean that I don't like that I feel that way as far as the fact that she just gets on my nerves, but I don't like being mean. I will tell her how I feel, now, because she doesn't seem to have a problem being rude and snotty to me. I went to Audrey's and I wish I had a house like Gayle or an apartment like Audrey & Ginger. It's nice and filled with a lot more space than my dorm, but then again I kind of like The Woo. Aurora and Raya are so  nice. They take care to notice if I'm upset about something and they talk to  me about it. It just doesn't make me feel any better to know that their mothers don't call them EVERY NIGHT AFTER NINE O'CLOCK JUST BECAUSE THEY JUST HAPPENED TO  GET ONE THOUSAND FREE MINUTES ON THEIR PORTABLE PHONE. It's not that I don't like my mother calling, but she calls all the time and tells me to go to bed of all things. Little did she know that I have stayed up until 3:oo every night since Monday, and last night we got home at 2:30 but didn't go to bed  until 4:30. I don't know what she is thinking because she actually could not believe that people stay up until all hours of the night studying. I had to  let her in on a little secret. All of those nights she thought I was asleep, I wasn't.
okay, this is an interesting assignment. what to write about, there is not much to say. I want to go back home because I am not having to much fun here. I miss my friends and want to sleep in my own bed. keeping in touch takes up a lot of time. oh well asdfjkl;asdfjkl;jjjkl;asdfjum, alreight this is wierd. what am I going to talk about for twenty minutes. ?  well, the food here is really getting discusting, the other day I could have sworn there was a finger in the hotdogs. it made me want to puke, man only three minutes have passed. hmmmmmmmmm. I want ot go home. I just got back yesterday also. I only like the freedom here, it sucks not having a car. I went home and it felt really weird to drive. my rroommate is kind of getting on my nerves, she hasnt done anything but she is just getting on my nerves. she never cleans up and is always on the stupid computer. it just gets on my nerves. like today, she threw away a milk carton in the trash, well if I hadnt have taken the trash down the hall it would have started to smell. also, I'm the only one who brought any functional things. I brought the tv, vcr, answering machine, stereo, vacuum, curtains, rug, etc. she just brought a bunch of junk to clutter everything up and put on my tv. I guess I should stop complaining, but it is really starting to bother me. I might start sounding selfish also, but she doesn't share much and I of course have to let her use my stereo and tv. I also am the only one that really cleans,  this is just bothering me. ot has only been eight minutes. abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz I have never done the alphabet on the keybourd before. abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz how fun:) well, this day sucks. I'm still tired and I just took a two hour nap. I only have one class today and its from 8-9:30 so I have the rest of the day. I really need to do my math homework, I can't stand the professor. he is not very good at teaching. ahhhhhhhhhhhh I'm so anoyed. I feel like I am writing  a letter. okay, when is this instant messenger thing going to finish downloading. its taking forever, I only want to talk to my friends online. no one is ever really on thoukgh so it doesn't really matter. man, I should have brought my discman. I am never going to catch up on the readings I am supposed to do for english and biology. I missed last friday's bio class because my stupid alarm didnt go off. I had set the clock wrong so it said pm instead of am. I felt so dumb, so now I have a buinch of notes to catch up on. !@#$%^&*() HDJHHFGHLKJHSDjljkLKJHFHFHFNVJDUEKASKJDHFUKTHJLKASJHDHFHFH only seven more minutes??????    okay, I still have bio to read, english to print out, and I still have to finish the survey online for this class. maybe if I type slower the time will go bye more quickly. alright, I can't wait till this weekend because I will have more free time, I really need to meet more people. this is not really helping. :) :(:) :( :) :9:0 messed up  -------+++++++++++++============= I wonder if you can draw pictures  ==  ==        *  -------------   @ its a face sticking its tonge out, how cute
At my high school I graduated with a class of 23, and most of my classes were comprised of 5 to 10 students. Sitting in an auditorium with over 400 other students is hard to get used to. I try to sit close up to the front of the class so I don't see all of the hundreds of students behind me; I think it helps. All in all, I think  I am going to enjoy "college life". However, all of this studying is going to take some getting used to. I don't think I have read so much of textbooks my whole life. Also, I find the e-mail thing a little confusing. I didn't have e-mail at my school, and I wasn't online at my home computer so I am not up to date on all the terminology. I know I shouldn't be, but I am kind of ashamed to ask for help just to send an e-mail message. I am under the impression that most people who come into these libraries know just what to do, even though I am sure some people are even more in the dark about the whole online thing than I am. ( I hope! ) Lately, I find computers really frusterating. I am trying to get into the pretesting page for Psych. class, and this computer keeps telling me that the user is down. I have already completed part of the Pretesting survey, and I clicked done after each section so I hope it saved my work. Every day after my classes, I feel like I have a million things to do before the next morning, and sometimes I realize I get too stressed out over nothing. I'm learning to slow down and take everything one step at a time, instead of trying to do everything at once. I have also learned that if I write things down I will remember to do them, and I won't get stressed out worrying if I have forgotten to do a certain assignment. Although I was a little worried after the first day of classes, I don't think college will be so bad as long as I keep up with my homework like I plan and don't procrastinate like I became so accustomed to in high school. I like it that my classes are somewhat spreadout as far as class times go. This gives me time to experiment with the computer, and try to get some homework done. I hope after my next class, the city has the water fixed at my apartment. Last night really sucked because a water main broke and we were left without water, they cut off the water without even telling us. My roommates and I had to drive to Taco Bell last night just so we could use the bathroom and brush our teeth before bed. And for this morning we had to use our bottled water to brush our teeth. I never thought about how helpful water is until we didn't have any.
Hi, I have no idea what I'm going to write but who cares, here goes. I'm right now sitting in a small computer lab down in the base ment of Jester West, across the where I now reside, in Jester East, doing a writing assignment for Psychology on what comes in to my mind first. Well, my mind is filled with stuff that's definitely not very much to do with a psychological sense. I've been away from books and studying for 2 3/4 years now, and 1 week into UT and 5 classes and 16credit hours later, myhead is sent reeling from the amazing amount of work that I have to do right now. I've totally forgotten everything to do with math and calculus is being thrown onto me at an amazing speed and at an extreme difficulty for me to comprehend. Basically, travelling halfway round the world to get hit with books that send you into unconsciousness is definitely not the nicest feeling to have at the moment. And the books. i have never seen paper cost so much in my entire life! Damn, now I know why americans are so rich. Nah, it's all understandable to me, it's just the matter of settling down into a different environment, and making myself a new circle of friendsfrom scratch. Not much in my mind now but complaints and angst now I guess, but it'll be definitely back to my books right after I complete this assignment, and maybe the next. Thoughts, Ithink that's been settled for now. et's get on to feelings. Well I'm feeling hot and bothered right now because we just had a fire drill, I thihnk, I did'nt exactly see any fire and we were allowed back into the building, just a while ago and had a thousand annoyed beings buzzing around the side of the building trying to comprehend in our little minds what the heck is going on here, hwo's the joker who pulled the alarm or wave his stupid little lighter flame below the automatic sensor??Jerk!  Now, let's get on to sensations. Hmm, seems kinda wierd to me what this means. Sends the little runners in my itsy brain go wandering all over the place and the component called imagination into overdrive. Nah, no dirty thoughts here, it's an educational institution. that's what they all say anyway. Well, my senses are kinda dulled right now. A result of chatting last night with my roommate till 1am and waking u p this morning at 7. damn, really hate early mornings, I'm not a morning type of guy but apparently all my classes start way too early in the morning. Calculus at that, is that a classic example of stress or what. But what better way to start the ol thinker working everyday with symbols and numbers geting thrown at me and expecting me to understand what's going on?? Really don't know actually. don't really care. i guess that's it 20 minutes, mebbe a bit less. tata!
Starting out college life was harder than I expected. I thought leaving home and being on my own would be a fun thing, and that nothing would happen in a bad way. I guess I was wrong because it was very difficult to learning to be on my own. Now I have no parents to depend on, and I had to learn to be responsible. The first week I didn't really know many people here so it was hard finding something to do. If I had people I knew I would have placed to go to instead of doing nothing. Since there was no homework or anything this was the time to have some freedom. I was thinking that once the school year started I would have to concentrate on studying and worry about grades. I think studying is a very important thing in college life. College life is a whole lot different from high school life. One major difference is going to class. I don't know how to write that difference is in words but I know it is different from high school. It's just this feeling I have. I wonder if this feeling counts as a reason to explain the difference of the two. There's one good thing I recognized about being away from home and parents. That is more freedom! There are no parents telling you to come home at a certain time or to clean the house. Being away from is good and at the same time bad. Being away from home means being away from family. And no family means loneliness because family is family. There is also friends that you can always make and they can be like your family even they can't replace them. Friends are always good to have, but it's also important to have good friends. Friends that understand you and will be by you in times of need. I guess there are also organizations and clubs that you can join to meet new people and experience new people. Since the first time I came here I have met many new friends that I think are very nice. Meeting new people is a fun thing; therefore everyone should meet new people. One thing that is worrying me is the freshmen 15. This I heard from people that already experienced college life. Freshmen are supposedly to gain 15 pounds their first year because you have the freedom to eat whatever, whenever you want. The scary thing about that is that a person I know said girls are more likely to gain and guys are most likely to lose weight. I thought "Dang~ why the girls!" I hope I don't gain 15 pounds and go home hearing people say to me, "Wow~ you gained some weight in college haven't you. " That is something I never want to hear.
I just woke up and decided to do homework this morning. Getting psychology out of the way seemed to be a pretty good idea. Right now I'm thinking that 20 minutes is a really long time and that I type pretty fast so this is going to be a really long essay. I woke up this morning feeling extremely cold and with a headache. I can't smell anything around me because my nose is congested and I can't see well because I haven't put my contacts in yet. I bought a spray paint picture off 6th street last night. It's really nice looking. This is probably one of the worst essays I have written because its just choppy sentences. My friends came to visit from ACU. Because there is no right answer in this essay, I feel weird because I know I'm writing about the right topic, but it feels like I'm just writing random things. I've never done anything like this so its all new to me. I'm typing on AIM and writing this essay. Its only been 4 minutes and I still have a lot to type. This is insane. Im hungry so while I type im going to eat a brownie. That brownie was good. Im still hungry so I'm waiting for this to expire so I can go eat Castilian food. Lets talk about college food for a little bit. Castilian is supposed to have the   best   food on campus. It turns out that the castilian food is really greasy but pretty good. Although it tastes good, it screws up your stomach. I don't think my stomach is used to constant fatty foods like that since I usually eat Chinese food. Write now I'm thinking that I need to go home and get more school things such as clothing. I have determined that I suck at packing. I didn't pack enough clothes and I didnt' pack any boots. I need to put my contacts in and I need to but some clothes on. Doing homework right when you wake up sucks. I need food. So far psychology has been different. I have never been in a class like that. It makes you think a lot more than you ever would in other classes. I have pyschology in the afternoon so I'm pretty worn out when class starts. Last night on 6th street there was an asian frat that got kicked out of the Roxy I think. A lot of cops on horseback rode down there. It was weird. 6th street has a lot of weird things. There was some guy in a g-string there which was disgusting. There are also a ton of places to club and to get stuff pierced and tattooed. Only 3 more minutes! What can I write about. This morning there were a ton of sirens that woke me up. Fire trucks hauled butt down Guadalupe for some reason. I hope everything is okay. I got one more minutes on this typing thing. I have a lot of homework this weekend. I really need to hit the books. I need a 4. 0. I hope I do well in college because I need to in order to get into Medical school. My friend from ACU is whining about ACU. He shoulda gone to UT. UT is the best school ever.
Today, what am I feeling. actually my roommate and I were talking about how we werer homesick. not in a bad way. we just miss home. I wish I knew what it was about home that I miss. is it the people? no not really considering I didn't have any really good friends when I left home. it it my parents? yeah some of it is that. but there's just this emptiness and I can't figure it out. I also feel like I am in a hella bad mood. it could be pms but it think it is a little too early. I really really hate pms. I get totally irritable and I was noticing yesterday how I felt really annoyed with people. especially my roomate and another friend. I figured it was just cause I was tired and sick of people in general but now I think maybe it is something more. well the stress of school finally begins. I'm remembering how much I hate stress. this stress is alittle different because its mixed with a lot of anxiety. I am a very anxious person at times and I hate it. I get very freaked out when I don't know what is going to happen. I guess you could say I have a big fear of the unknown. when I was applying to high school I used to freak out a lot and have crying fits because I didn't know where I was going to school. then this spring I would have freak out attacks about where I would live. I hate not knowing what will happen in the future. I think its kinda funny that I am a christian yet I struggle with the unknown. part of being a christian is having faith in god to work out all the things he has for you. but I find it really hard to trust in god and just let the fear go. I guess I have my weak areas just like all christians. anyways anxiety, I am really anxious about school. I have no idea what to expect as far as tests and grades. I told myself that because I couldnt drink this semester I would try really hard to get good grades. but it is just so hard to make myself sit down and study. I am areally lazy person and I don't like to work very hard if I don't' have to. I'm starting to ahve doubts about my major. I reaaly love spanish but I'm not sure I'm good enough to pursue it as a major. I guess there are just a lot of people in my spanish class who seem to be  so much better that I am at spanish and I get discouraged. anyways, I think my friend graham made a good point when he said that a lot of people didn't place out of spanish hours like I did and that college spanish teaches you a lot morethan high school spanish. I think he was right. but still, I'm just not real sure any more. ugh the people next door play their music so loud. it really is rude. I wonder if we play our music too loud nad jus tdon;t realize it. hmmmm. well time feels like its going by really slowly. perhaps my bad mood is jus t the devil trying to take away from the awesome things god did this weekend. well that's a thought. that retreat kicked some booty!!!!!!
What is going through my head. hmmm. That's a good question. Well. I feel really skeptical about this whole college thing. I mean its all cool and all but I get a little intimidated by the whole process. I mean all these people in my classes kind of freak me out. I am used to dealing with large amounts of people but WOW. I sit there and wonder how the professors do it all. I mean yes, they have teacher's aides, but I am sure that the work is tremendous. All the schoolwork is a little new to me. I am used to a lot of busy work and worksheet. Don't get me wrong. I was in advanced classes, but I am not that used to every class having mandatory readings all the time. I am also a little scared of going out. I was always a social person in high school but the whole going out and meeting new people is a little scary. I mean, the people seem really friendly and nice, but a lot of them seem really snobby and a little unapproachable. so it makes a person hesitate. I am really an outgoing girl but I hesitate for some reason here. In other environments, I usually don't. It is strange though. It like I am afraid of making new friends. How silly is that??? Also, I am afraid of the whole freshman 15 thing. I mean, how could people gain weight? You walk around all day and go to class. And when you're not doing that you are reading or going out? Well, I know the food isn't that great, but 15 pounds! Wow! Also, this whole party scene is a bit intimidating for me. I want to go, but I am so scared because of all the storied I've heard. Funny what you realize when you just sit here and let your mind go. I need to learn to type faster so I can go as fast as I am thinking. Oh well. that's what you get for not taking keyboarding in junior high. Well. I am thinking my 20 minutes of typing is up. So I will check all my spelling and turn this in.