Well it is about 1:20 in the morning and i have been up studying for a few of my classes. I keep weird hours on my classes rather than try and make time for them during the day. I guess i enjoy my leisure time as well as my study and i try and make time for both on the weekends. I almost feel like i should have a big sign in my room somewhere saying   hey you should be studying something!   ha. . well maybe not but i like to keep atop of my studies and i don't want to slack off on any of my assignments. The joy i get from lounging around is multiplied by ten if i fall behind on an assignment or if i feel that i might get a   B   or   C   on a test rather than an   A  . I like the fact that i know i will get what i deserve out of my class by what i put into it. So because of this i try and make sure to do the studying. Right now my grades are very important to me. I feel that in the long run they will distinguish me from all the other people who are just trying to get thru college and then maybe find themselves in life. Where as i have already gone the route of finding and exploring myself as well as rationalizing the things i do for quite sometime now. My success i know will not just depend on my degree or simply finishing college but also many other things that i feel i might be able to control. Understanding the aspect of control early on or trying to get a grasp on my life made me realize that there really is no control on life. You must prepare yourself for the best that life has to offer while along the way being happy in the process. Right now it is to be the best that i can be and to get the things i want. So in order for me to do that i must do well in school and in Business. My happiness is might be put off alittle right now by my 15 hours of school but the sacrifice to myself will pay off in the end. It makes me wonder who really is going to read this and what you must be thinking at this point. Ha. . what a character. Well no not really just a determined man. I like doing things that people have told me i had no chance in doing. When i moved here from Colorado i had an agenda and for the last 3 years i have checked off everything that i have set out to do. It gives me comfort in doing what most people can only dream of and never make the attempt or the sacrifice to get it. Blink. blink. don't know. . haha. . Feeling the affects of sleep deprivation right now. . my eyes are feeling alittle heavy and the distant sound of a car alarm is making my mind drift. I see soft white cotton pillows floating around in the back of my mind with baby blue sheets. Man i need to get some sleep. I took this writing assignment as a challenge to be honest and type whatever came into my mind and i guess that this is what i am doing exactly to the   T  . Many different things keep up at night, school, my grandmother in the hospital, the different appointments that i have at school and the week coming up about 9/11. Wondering if my grandmother will be around then and if she is what state of mind will she be in. Which is wrong for me to say seeing as how she just had a stroke and part of her brain is not functioning. The doctors say that she does not feel a thing. I really would like to believe them. It seems unfair that she should live this long (92 years) only to be let to die a little every day. The doctors say that she has a strong heart for age. . well hell we have always known that. . but this one time i wish it was not so strong. . i miss her laughter and knowing that her mental capacity was just as strong as her heart. I miss her already even though i know that she is still with us. Bright red eraser. . why did they make them that color? why not white or blue or yellow on the end of pencils? It seems to me maybe it is the properties of how they make erasers that cause it to be the color that it is. Trying to stay with the typing and trying not to drift off. . i was hoping to get another experiment done after this one but i think that maybe i might try and sleep. I have got to get up earyl and get one of my vehicles registered down town. Maybe that is part of this writing experiment. Have us write this with the knowing that eventually we will turn it into something that we know or think that someone will read. So when we write we eventually get to that point of writing. The mind is laying out a thought process or maybe it is all just random and i am thinking out loud with my keystrokes. I read somewheres that in a thousand years the English language will be dead and that new ways are being created to keep individuals away from any toxic or harmful waste that might be around. So they are trying to create a visual sign for them that will be some kind of universal signal for danger or trouble or death. Hmmm. . seems weird that in time our language might go the way of the Egyptians. . times up. . night.