I am afraid of being here. I think that I am not smart enough or that I just don't have what it takes. I think about my boyfreind alot! he is my bestfriend. Sometimes I feel like I can't live without him. I hate feeling that way but i can't help it. my biology class is stupid. i hate sitting there for an hour and a half wondering what the heck she is talking about. i wonder what my mom is doing right now. my little sister is in school right now and is probably having way more fun than i am. i can't wait until october 4th it is going to be great. i get to finally see my boyfriend again after 2 months. gosh that seems like a long time. i wonder if he is thinking of me right now. i know he better have wrote a letter on sunday. i love getting his letters. they make me feel very happy and i read them over and over and over. sometimes i don't knwo if i am just kidding myself about our relationship but then i remember how much i miss him and how perfect we are together. is there actually soemthing out in the universe that is perfect?  is there some object that can meet standards that to majority is perfect?  i know i am not perfect. i am so nervous about gaining weight. i always watch what i eat but it always like too much no matter what i eat. i hate feeling that wat too. i love beanie babies. they are soo cute. i used to collect them but now I dont. not that its because i got older but just because i don't have the money to spend on them anymore. I wonder why people are the way they are. Some people can be soo mean but have no reason to be that way. I wonder if I am that way. I wonder if people see me as snobby or dumb. I always look around the room and i wonder if people are just as confused as me. I try to look as if i am not confused but i don't think it works to much. I want to move with my boyfriend. I want to be near him alwyas. I always think about him. Is that unhealthy?  I like pizza. it is vrey good i want pizza now. i love fruit too. i think fruit can be better than icecream although i love icecream too. if i had to choose right now i would eat a peach. i don't know why but tomorow i would probably eat icecream. I don't think that i fit into this city. i think sometimes that maybe i shoould have stayed in killen. i love music i have to listen to it in order to make my day start out good. i love dirty south music but then again i love all kinds of music. how can someone only like certain types of music?  i don't believ e that. they make themselves think that. I think that music is a form of expression and you should listen to the music before saying  what is that,country?     ewwww!    I love anything that makes me feel good inside. I kind of would like to move to florida. my friend Argelis lives there but i went there for a band trip and i had such a good time. i was with my boyfriend and we did everything. evreybody told us that they sat around. we went on every ride there was. then before my boyfriend left to the navy we went to San Antonio. we went there all by our selves and did everything our way. no one  to tell us what to do or how to do it. it was great. We saved all our money and made sure we had enough to spend. I loved the shows at sea world. My favorite was fools with tools and how they made fun of all the other shows. It was great. There too me and my boyfriend went to every show and eveyr ride although there werent much rides. I hope we don't have to read our papers infront of the class. I don't think i did my paper right. What if i sound stupid?  oh well, i am probably not the only one that thinks that. i am not sure if i am going to switch my major becaus psychology is soemthing that i have always wanted to learn. my highschool teacher was soo cool. I loved visiting the Austin State hospital. It was so fascinating how those people could actually think those ways and believe everything they feel. I kind of felt sorry for some of them too. I don't know how to feel when it comes to people that are disabled, shoudl I feel sorry or luck to know them?