It's 11:30 and my roommates still aren't up. Do I like them?  Do I hate them?  It's goes back and forth. I'm sure they have their good qualities, but damnit - it's 11:30. I am now feeling the sensation of eye drops in my eye, and dripping down my cheek. I have pink eye - who gets pink eye except little kids?  I guess I do. Thinking, what am I thinking. I am hoping I do not gain weight at college!  Last night was fun, it's nice to meet new people even though some of them were scary!  I can't believe that guy got beat up!  I hope I don't fail out of college in my first semester. Rumor has it, at UT they give you the first full year - then it's tough luck. We'll see. Maybe my homesickness will vanish before it majorly appears if I  m home after a year. Home - I hate home. No I don't, I love it. But some of the people I had to escape. Andrew, I thought I loved him!  He loved me!  What the hell happened?  Why won't he try to talk to me?  I'm not a bad person - or am I?  Jesus, I tell you - I just don't have a plesant history with the men. I need to brush my teeth. The Raisin Bran was really nice though - I can still taste it. It doesn't taste as good when the morning breath is mixing with the flavor of such sweet cereal. I wonder what my brother is doing. What my friends are doing, what my parents are doing!  I hope everyone is OK. I hope my parents are doing well. I hope they're adjusting to having no kids at home. I really miss them, they're the best. I have to do well here for them. I wonder if they'd let me move back in with them. I could do housework or yardwork for room and board - sure, they'd like that. No work for them, just plesant little Beth home again. No, I'll do fine. It's up to me to do what I need to do. I wonder who's going to read this. I wonder what they'll think of me. I hope I don't have psychopathic tendencies!  That would be great - there's that girl Beth, PSYCHO!  Haha, I wonder if that's what people think of me now. ISn't it funny you can go through life and never know what another person is thinking?  I mean, sure, you can say you know - but the bottom line is you never really will. That's so crazy. Most of the time I don't even know what I'm thinking!  Wow, this world is really crazy. This assignment is making me philosophical. I kind of like it. Do I sound like a genius?  Oh, IMs are popping up. How nice it is to be able to speak to people over the internet. It's kind of sad though. I'd much rather talk on the phone - or would I?  I suppose it, like everything, has it's ups and downs. I wonder what Andrew is  doing now. If he's met a new girl. Or even if he's hooking up with my friends. Or should I say,   friends  . Craziness. You think you know a person. What am I talking about?  I knew him for four days. But he'd never had a history of being an ass. I wonder what'll happen when I go home. WIll anything?  Everything happens for a reason. I'll just keep believing that. I wonder what tests I'll get into for this class. I'm interested in the experiments. Hmmm. I am tired. I can't smell a damn thing. Or can I?  That smell of nothingness. Is that even something?  It has to be, otherwise it wouldn't be there. Yes, I am smelling nothingness. It's not too bad. It would be awesome if nothingness had a wonderful smell, like cherries, or fruit. But then I wouldn't appreciate the smell of those things otherwise, so I suppose nothingness is better. Wow, God was smart. He had it all planned out. I wonder if he's watching me now. I hope I'm not disappointing him. Sometimes I think I'm a disappointment. But, I'm not so bad I guess. My roommates are still sleeping. Who are these people?  Am I a bitch?  I can't help it - they're nothing like me. NOt that that's bad, but we share nothing in common. I wonder if they hate me. That would be funny. Another story to tell the kids. Crazy Beth and the roommates that hated her. I am so weird. I am so tired. I will go to the gym. I will lose weight so I will go home and be sexy and hot. No, I'm not doing it to go home, I'm doing it for me. I want to be confident. I wonder what it's like to be confident. My stomach is grumbling. Wow, along with smelling nothing, I am hearing nothing. Well, that's not true - aside from the clicking of the keyboard I am hearing something similiar to silence. Even though it's not silence - there are faint sounds of insects shirping and doing their things, but it's close to silence. Or is it?  I don't think I've ever heard, or experienced silence. You can't hear silence can you?  If a tree falls and no ones around to hear it, does it make a sound?  How the hell am I supposed to know?!  I would like to sit down and have a little chat with God one of these days. Maybe I should go to church more often. Well, maybe I should go to church period. But I've been before and it never answered my questions. It just made me wake up earlier. I used to be scared of Church. I think I was 10 years old and questioning my existence - is that healthy?  I know it made me different. Wow, I am an interesting person. I'm so suprised that I've typed to this extent. I hope all goes well and I get credit. I really like this psychology stuff. 500 people in a class - that's crazy. And I know no one. I will meet people. I can't imagine standing and talking in front of 500 people for an hour and a half. Jesus. I don't know if I could stand up for an hour and a half let alone talk that long. 20 seconds. That's all I have. Well, God Bless America. God Speed.