ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
I'm really hungry. I'll have to go shopping after this. I don't know what to write. I really need to catch up on my reading today. I don't know why I always leave things to the last minute. I was going to try to keep up with things this year but I'm not doing a real goodd job. I have to do computer science tommorrow. that will be easy. I should have called darcie and megan this weekend and hung out with them. kyle should have come up too. I'm surprised I got mike to come hang out last night since he almost never leaves his apartment. I really want to go smoke but I probably shouldn't. I need to cut down. I wish I could think of a place to put these stickers. I had to kill a spider but I missed him. what weas up with all those spider questions in the pretesting. pretesting took a long time. and it seemed like a lot of pointless questions. I need to go sign up for experiments. there sure are a lot of beer cans lying around. I need to get everything cleaned up in here. I haven't finished unpacking yet. I have to go look for a job tommorrow. I wish I didn't have to work, but it will be good for me. I won't waste so much time hopefully. damn, I haven't been writing very long. I hate doing these things cause if I'm thinking about writing everything I think, then I don't think normally. I wrote think too much. there's so much shit I have to do. and I don't want to do it. I'll probably end up not doing any homework again today just cause I don't have to have it done yet. I can't wait to get out of school. I wonder if anyone will actually read this. if so, what's up. I'm getting tired of writing. I'm so hungry. I should start clipping coupons to take with me. I guess it'll make a big difference and I don't have a lot of money. I wonder what my sister's doing.  I should start taking some more pictures. I haven't really done any of that for a while. I wonder what's on that roll of film in my camera. it's been in there so long I don't know what I took pictures of. okay about five more minutes. shit. I wonder where I should try to get a job. hopefully something fun but I don't know what. I feel like I should have more written down for twenty minutes. oh well at least I did something. I don't want to write anymore.
sitting here just writing stuff down on paper. thinking about going out tonight. Im pretty happy because the navy paid me some more money. so there is money to go out with. Im doing this on paper hoping it's a little easier than just typing. time goes slow when you are waiting on it. that girl is really cute. I can not concentrate on one thing for that long of a time. there are people here talking which takes my attention. the football game tomorrow. Im not going. every body seems to be gung-ho about going. I don't see the big deal. watch it on tv who is lance corporal ruther. being late for pt would suck because they make you write about that stuff. thoughts are a weird thing everything you look at will bring on a thought the books, people everything they talk about will make you think a certain thing and it's not like you can ignore them when there in the same room. there's too much time for me to make up today. I can't do it. I wonder what they'll do. probably not much Ill have about three quarters of I so it shouldn't be a big deal. it's good that we have it but it should be open alot later than just 9 o'clock. extra study. the ROTC unit is good that way I guess I wonder how late I have to stay there today. it doesn't really matter I guess but I want to go out tonight this is my one night to go out and get drunk so I plan on doing it not real bad but some. people are trying to figure out there total hours. I need to but I doubt it'll help it's funny how people use there study hours. mostly trying to figure out little things to do. everything but study. I think that's time I hope this is close to what the assignment was. my mind is pretty simple so it's hard to write for that long about what it's doing.
I guess that I should start by telling you where I am. I am in my dorm room at Castilian. I only had one class today, Calculus. I don't really like Calculus that much. But it hasn't been too bad so far. I want to call my old band director and tell him good luck tonight. Tonight is their first football game and they are playing the Astrodome. I got to play in the Astrodome once. It was really cool. At first I was really envious of my friends still in high school because they were going to get to play there again. But then I realized that I was going to get to play at the UT Stadium and at many other great stadiums across the country throughout my time here at UT. My roommate is playing a video game now and I'd really rather be doing that. Not because I dislike this assignment, but because I haven't gotten to play any games in a long time. School and band are taking up a lot of my time. But I think that is good. I like to stay busy. Last year in high school I was in band, jazz band, choir, pop choir, mock trial, KEY club, a little student council, and track. I had a great time and was doing stuff constantly. I would like to have that kind of life here. I think that I would like to join a fraternity, Longhorn Singers, a Bible Study group, mock trial, and anything else I can find time for. I like being a part of many different things. That way I can have friends from all over and with many different interests. UT has been very interesting so far. I love the way my schedule works. I am through with my classes today and it is only 12:45 (The day by the way is Friday if anybody is actually reading this). I think that I would like for somebody to read this even though it isn't the most exciting paper in the world. At least then I wouldn't have written it just see how accurately I type. Anyways, I'm not sure what I should be writing about. Uhhhh. My parents are going to be here tonight. They are coming up here (or over here technically) to watch me march at my first college football game. My mom is really excited. My dad is also but he is also coming to see the game. My mom could careless about the game. All right! Only 3 more minutes. Uhhh. I have a really nice view of the city from my room. It's on the twentyfirst floor. It really sucks trying to get up here on an elevator though. And it's really hard trying to find a place to practice my trumpet in a dorm. I tried the roof but it was locked. I'm really hungry now and that's good because I only have about thirty more seconds to type. Yaady yaady yaady and now I'm done. I am going to go eat. Thank you to whoever has read this. And if nobody has or ever will, there isn't much that I can do about it.
Ever since I came to the University of Texas I have been thinking about playing soccer. I turned down a few soccer scholarships to come here. I wanted to come here because I know the business school is one of the greatest in the nation. After going to the football game I could picture myself playing soccer in front of all 80,000 people. I can picture myself right now dribbling 5 players and scoring a magnificent goal. Every one around me would be cheering like crazy and I would be the big man on campus. Right now, I am wondering if I have made the right decision whether or not I should have come here. Not only did I do very well in soccer, but I also got very good grades in high school. So, I made the decision to go with my mental power instead of playing soccer. As of now I am glad with the decision I have made. I am having a blast over here. Especially your class. It is the best. My class consists of about 540 people. That is a huge number. That was the size of my high school class in Jersey Village. In my Psychology class right now I have been sitting next to this very pretty girl whom I like. I am thinking about her right now and how it would feel if I kissed her. I am also thinking about my mom and dad at home. I know they must be very lonely. I just hope that their health remains in very good condition. I already told them that they have to live to be at least 80 years old. In high school towards the end I started to slack off. I told my parents that I would get very good grades so I have to study a lot this year. I am hoping that your tests will not be very hard. My sister is going to Texas A&M and is majoring in psychology. If I ever need help or anything I can always call her. She is a junior right now. Ever since I got here, I have been missing my cat very much. I have a picture of him next to my bed so I can see him every now and then. I can't wait to go home for the weekend. THANKS!
Well I figured since I want to go to bed at midnight I would write for 20 minutes now so I don't forget. I always tend to think at night. Stuff runs through my mind because I let it wander. I don't know if this is a bad thing or a good thing, but I do it anyway. I just finished studying for a chemistry test tomorrow. It is my first college test so I am a little nervous. I know that I have to do well in all my classes in order to get into medical school. I think I will do fine though. I have done all that stuff before in high school. So far the largest difference I have noticed between high school and college is that the professor expects you to know what he or she is talking about. They don't explain things as thoroughly as they do in high school. Oh well I guess I will become accustomed to it. I don't mind the reading I have to do so that isn't too bad. I have met a lot of new people here and I like the college a lot. One thing I do want though is a girlfriend. I like this one girl but she has a boyfriend back home so it is kind of hard. I seem to be able to pick out the ones that have boyfriends all ready. I was in the same situation almost with one of my good friends that just left for the Navy. I say almost because she liked me also, but had been going on with her boyfriend for a long time. We were friends back in seventh grade but then she moved and we kind of kept in touch through the years and then on day she called and I hadn't heard from her in over a year. I told her that we had to get together and do something. So I went over to her house for spring break and we spent the next two weeks together. I had so much fun. I felt as though we were meant for each other. It is kind of hard to explain the feeling I had when I was around her. Well I told her and she said that she liked me too but couldn't break up with her boyfriend and then go out with me. I asked her why not and she said that she couldn't be with me and then have to leave for the Navy. I talked to some of my friends and they said that it was because she knew that I would not let her leave and her current boyfriend would. I don't know if that is it or not, but regardless we went out a whole lot and spent a bunch of time together. I always had a wonderful time with her. Then I left and then she left. I came here and she is in Chicago for boot camp. I miss her a lot. Then I met this one girl from my high school, which I knew but not that well. In the last few weeks we have become real good friends. She reminds me of my friend in the Navy, and I can't figure out if that is one of the reasons that I like her or not. I think it might play a bit of a role in it, but I am not sure. Well she has a boyfriend also so I am in the same position as before only I am not sure how she feels towards me. I received a post card from my friend in the navy today. It felt good to hear from her. I have to write her back tomorrow. Well it is midnight so I think I am going to head to bed. I know that I will continue to think through the night. That is just what I do.
what am i thinking? that is quesiton i sometimes ask myself when i'm things that are out of this world. thinking, to put the mind to work and have conversations in your head about whatever is on your mind at that moment or to ponder over a serious of questions or question such as this one. right, now i'm thinking of what to write, and as always not being able to think of anything worth writing. its not my thing to write out of the blue without having prethought what i was going to write. I'm sitting in front of my computer, cold and tired from a very long day. my dorm room is always to cold so i have to sit here shivering while i type. the cold may be affecting my train of thought since i'm preoccupied in thinking how i'm going to keep warm after this is over. i should have put on a sweater but for some reason i let myself remain cold and keep complaining about it. it's my fault really,i should just get up and put on a sweater or wrap a blaket around me. what stops me from doing it, i don't know. it could be because i have to stay here for twenty minutes typing or because i'm to lazy to actually get up and search for something warmer, or it could be because it won't be long after i put in on that i will have to take it off to go to sleep. i never found it comfortable to sleep with a sweater on, except of course in the extreme cases like when i used to go camping out in the mountains in the middle of january. i like camping, its the one thing that i love to hate and vice versa. during the day it nice to going hiking and stuff but during the night it can be horrible having to take a bath in the freezing cold and make dinner by fire and lamplight, not to mention the cold hard ground and the paper thin tents that are suppose to protect us from the 30 degree weather. i'm don't really like the cold but then again when its a hundred degrees outside i wish winter would come. people in general are never content with the weather. its either to hot or to cold,like food almost. we blow on soup to cool it down and hold ice cream in our mouths till it melts before swallowing it. my radio is on and so is the tv which has nothing to do with anything but we are suppose to write continuously for twenty minutes, so i thought i'd write that. its relaxing to be listenting to the radio, cause even when i'm down there's alway a song to cheer me up. right now i'm relaxed happy to be ahead in my reading but aware of a test i will have to take this friday. people always have the ablity to walk in at the wrong times. someone just knocked on the door and i shouted to them to come in and in seeing me at work they left but they did disrupt me which of course is always inviting except when i have to do something where i can't be interrupted like this timed writing. in 30 seconds, never mind i'm done.
For the past few days and now I have been thinking a lot about my friends back hone. I am thinking of all the good times we had and how I miss them a lot. And of course I am thinking about girls and especially one of them. I also thinking aout this summer and how I met a lot of different kinds of people by attending the preview program and gettting an early start on college. Adjusting from hihg school took college took a little bit of time. Having fun and partying are always on  my mind. I partied a lot this summer. it was a lot easier then because I only had to worry about two classes; one of them was pre-cal and I knew I could hadle that so it was basically only e306. Some other thoughts that also come to my mind at this moment are thoughts about my parents and how I miss them and my rest of my family back home. Thinking about that sometimes makes me sad but I don't let it get to me. I am usually a very happy person and people can tell when something is bothering me or not. lately I have not gone out mainly because no one has really invited me go out with them. But also because I have been a little low on money. There is money in the bank but I don't know for how long there will be money there. This summer I spent a lot more monwy than I should have spent. I don't usually worry about money but I really spent a lot and the worst part of it is that I don't know waht I spent it on. at this instant I am thinkign about my grades I got this summer. I was disappointed with them because I know I could of done better. I got a B in English in which I  am pretty satisfied because I can't write good at all. But I know I should of gotten an A in PRE Cal. I put a lot of effort and I thought I deserved an A but the teacher ws sort of a Bi---- towards the end. I was really frustrated with this. I had never been so caught on grades until this occurred. So instead of starting my college career with a 3. 5 I started with a f******* 3. 0. this really frieken sucks big time.
I will now try to track my cluttered and random thoughts. as they occur. I am thinking of the love of my life; my girlfriend. We have been together for quite a while and I am truly excited to be a part of her life. I wonder how much longer we will stay together, because I am hoping that my neurotic and almost unbearable tantrums won't strip us apart from each other. Anyway, I try desperately not to think of such negative possibilities, yet they plague my mind sometimes. I have just taken a glimpse of my surroundings. I have a gorgeous view to my right. two large windows forming a 90 degree angle provide a soothing sight. Everything seems tranquil outside, since I am not part of it right now. Everyone looks pleasant and kind, although once I leave this room I know very well that those same serene faces I saw from my fourth story view are far from angelic creatures waiting to befriend someone like me. I like having the security of this window quite a lot. It isn't as if I seclude myself from the rest  of the world at all times, or even want to for that matter, but when life is overwhelming in its abusive tendencies, a break from the constant interactions of it can be appreciated. I am more of a solitary person in these respects. I like to be alone. I like to have the opportunity to just think and think until my mind swells with confusion, questions and lack of answers. I can only speculate why things are the way they are, but this is what I am good at. I like to think without anyone pestering me with questions or remarks of disapproval. I play along with the narrow-minded each and every day and the jeers and taunting that accompanies such individuals. My privacy keeps me sane and feeds my need to vent any emotional clogging. These people who seem so distant from people like me are the same people I am left to befriend, because unfortunately, like any other human being of this world, I need friendship, companionship. It is a necessity. I hate to admit it, simply because I want to view myself as some sort of rebel or ultra independent, yet I know this to not be true. Yet, time after time I find that it is terribly difficult to maintain friends because I am left with people in college(the most convenient to meet) and I have had so little in common with such people. The cycle repeats and repeats. I am late for a class now because I wrote this damn thing, but this is my fault for not watching the time more closely. When I start to ramble about my life I REALLY RAMBLE about my life. Advantage or disadvantage????  I don't know yet. At least I can listen to others. good reason to be a psychology major, right?
I am sitting in front of my computer right now thinking about how I have so many things to do and I am not sure how to organize my time sufficiently. I cannot decide what my priorities are yet. Of course classes are the most important part of being at college, but there are various clubs and organizations that I am interested in from the description on flyers and posters. I don't know what these clubs are really like though. It is the people that makes an organization fun and you cannot tell what people are like from a flyer. I am really hungry right now. I hate that the dining hall is closed for dinner on Sundays, not that the food is really that good anyway. Wait this isn't Sunday, this is Monday. We just didn't have class because it is Labor Day. That will mix me up all week. I will be a day behind. It is hard to let your thoughts flow naturally when you are thinking about thinking. I am so glad that Lindsey came up to visit me this weekend. It feels so good to laugh with someone that already knows you. You don't have to try or think, everything just flows so naturally. I know that it takes time to develop a friendship like this and I cannot expect to just make instant connnections like that in a new place, but I am not good with all that patience and effort. I can't wait until the pizza gets here. I don't feel bad about eating unhealthy food because I have to walk so much around campus. I don't think I've ever walked so much in my entire life. And the heat totally drains me by the end of the day. I am dead tired. I am really surprised by the comfort of the beds in my dorm room. At orientation I couldn't sleep at all because I was so uncomfortable but now the beds don't seem as bad. Except the window next to my bed shines light all night long. I am used to total darkness and total silence from home. The car noises and people at all hours makes it tough to fall asleep. I've also been having strange dreams lately. The first couple of weeks in a new place I always have really vivid dreams and I always remember them really clearly unlike usually. This happens everytime I am away from home. Wether it was when we moved to Singapore or just going to summer camp. I am looking at the picture of my dog sitting on my computer. I miss petting Lucy. The other day there was a towel laying on the floor of our dorm room and I had to do a double take because I thought it was Lucy laying there. She is too adorable. When I get my own place I am going to get a Labrador puppy. I don't think I could ever live totally by myself, without a pet or anything. I either need a roommate or an animal, something to acknowledge my existence with a tangible response. Now its been a little over twenty minutes and the pizza is here and it smells really good.
I am sitting in my dorm room right now and I just thought it would be a good idea to go ahead and do my psychology homework because I don't have anything to do and there doesn't seem to be anything interesting on TV. I was so stressed out earlier today because I can not hack it in my calc. class. I went to class though only to affirm what I had previously believed. YEAH RIGHT. I used to think I was pretty smart but being in that class made me see that I am not going to be able to excell in math or the college of natural sciences for that matter. Simply for the fact that math is required. I am actually happier though because now I have eliminated one course of studies and narrowed my choices. I like that. I like feeling a little more directed with college and the future. I am leaning towards transfering to the college of communications. I also added RTF 305 to my schedule. I am so excited for it. People annoy the crap out of me. Sometimes I wish I could just crawl into a box and never come out. Call me a crab but I don't really care. I am what I am. I feel chubby right now. I want to eat but then I don't. I know the consequences of putting food in my mouth when I don't truly want it. Wasters never want. . . good quote. Very true. I have come so far in my life. I can't believe I am finally at college. . on my own. There are so many things to be thankful for in my life and in so many ways I am lucky. It is hard to keep a clear perspective all of the time. That is the problem with being human. . . we are always failing. Falling short of the glory of God. It is so much more difficult to loose weight for the second time. I lost muscle and gained fat and now it takes longer and I also have more fat cells that will naturally hold on to the chubbs!! I will keep working on consistency and the important thing is to be persistant. I can't believe I used to sell knives this summer. Seems like 3 years ago but it was actually just aboout ago. One day, I hope there is an invention to where you can eat and eat and eat and it wouldn't matter at all. I would pay good money for that. I am sure every woman in the U. S. would do the same. I bet my skin has a lot of sun damage. I tan too often but I do like the feeling and I am not going to stop.