Okay i really do not know what to say frankly i have never done a writing assignment not knowing what the topic is or what ia m expected to write but all i know is that i have to write or type for the next twenty minutes which for me seems like it is fairly a small amount of time since i type really slow. Anyway since i get tto ventilate myself i will tell you that i like the class, no i am not trying to get some extra points though that would be nice. I love psych, i actually want to be an elementary counselor, i guess i choose this because my parents split up and i guess i want to help students or young kids to understand this whole mess. it really does not matter anymore although to be frank i wish things were the way the were before, not for me but for my younger sister she has suffered a lot from the desicion my parents made, well actually my mother, but who is to blame, I guess that is all in the past and i can't change that. well enough of that i am really glad that we can just type and type just letting our little heads just take us somewhere i reall appreciate this since i am not worried about how this will be graded i think i just have a little anxiety when it comes to papers, i guess i have to get into the idea that college is totally different form high school. i think my problem is that i know that everyone is expecting a lot from me since i am the first in the family to attend a big university, both in my dads family and in my immediate family. i am afraid of letting them down sometimes i really can't take it but i just know that everyone is behnd me i guess that motivates me and at the same time that kind of puts a bunch of pressure on my shoulders. i guess it is because my brother is or should be like a junior but i frankly think that he is just being a drain in the economy, i mean i probably saw him studying once in a whole semester and that was probably just cramming for his final exams. right now i really do not know whta ha plans on doing he just simply needs to get his act together not that i always do but at least i know that i won't hurt my parents the way he does. I guess that i am not being the perfect daughter either if my mom only knew that her little innocent daughter moved in with her boyfriend when she moved to austin. She would just so die she would never think that i lied to her telling her that i would be living alone. i really feel guilty do not get me wrong but what can i do if she would have opened herself a little towards me then i would have probably told her, who am i trying to kid i guess that is just my excuse i have asked my mom several times already if she would let me get married and she said no, well she said wait at least two yeras i really do not knowhy i need to wait two years, she says that has nothing to do with my boyfriend which is true they get along real good i really do not know if it is that he speaks spanish or if it is the fact that he is real nice, oh did i mention that he gets paid really good. I do not know i just hope that my mom doen not get that mad, i hope she understands a little. i guess that for now i just need to enjoy myself until my mom finds out what is going on. when she doe i know things are going to blow up she will tell my dad, and i really do not want him to find out yet, you see my dad is depressed, the whole divorce thing i mentioned earlier, and he says i am like his friend he says that i am the only person he can talk to just about anything i think that when he finds out his whole world will just fall apart even more than it is already. i am just trying to make the best out of my life i am happy withn the way it is going and i really do not care if they do  not agree with the way i am living it. as long as i get my stuff done they should not worry about me, i hate when people say don't get married because then you won't go back to school i will prove all them wrong i will teach them, i know that you can do anything you want when you put your mind to it