ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
Just as i moved to this page my roomate came into our apartment and it appears that he has brought some food back from the grocery store. That is always a good thing. Now I'm thinking about how I can possibilly type my thoughts for this amount of time with out taking a break for some snacks and whatnot. Today has felt like the longest day that I can remember and I can't figure out why. When I was in my math class at 11 in the morning I for some reason it felt to me as if it was 5 in the evening. Now I am listening to the tv in the background and amthinking about how much I disagree with the news man. What is going to be typed by me in 5 minutes from now is flooding me with curiosity. I hope that this week goes by much faster then it is right now. I can't wait until Texas plays North Carolina this Saturday. Horns football is one of the top three reasons why I applied to The University of Texas and I am very glad that I got in. Now I am looking at a picture of the roadrunner from wiley cyotte however you spell it and it makes me think of apples and oragnges. That kind of scares me that random things like that just kind of pop up into my head, but oh well. Now I am wishing that I had started some music to play as a was writing this because I am almost always interested in listening to music. Yes my roomate is talking to me and he didnt know that I was home this entire time what a silly bastard. Now I am listening to Whiteny Houston who is a supposed crack head butthat doesn't really bother me because she can sing ok. I wonder how many times she does crack cocaine a day or use too. Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to be high on coke but I have never tried it. The reasons I haven't done coke is probably because most people I know that do coke are lost causes. My roomate thinks I'm an alcoholic because he heard me say I was drinking punch and I am but he thought it was trashcan punch which means his mind was on alcohol so maybe he is the alcoholic. I am not excited about having to go to three classes today because I am so very tired that I could easily take a nap and enjoy it a 100 times more. I have about 4. 25 minutes left, that makes me think about how much faster this writing assignment has gone thean I thought it would. What my life will be like 8 months from now is a random thought that just entered my mind. I wonder if I will still have my girlfriend, and I hope I do and I wonder if I will be less depressed than I am right now because at the moment I am at a time where very little makes me happy and I really didn't have that problem at all over the summer unless I was thinking about school again. I don't know exactly why but school changes my state of mind dramatically and quickly. I know I should be thankful to even go to school but how can I help the feelings that I have. now there are three two oh times up.
How should I start this? Writing about my thoughts and feelings is kind of difficult when asked to put them down into words. I mean, I think about things all the time especially when I am walking to class or trying to go to sleep. Right now I am at my friend Desiree's house and I am doing this assignment because I have not done any homework tonight, and I feel like I need to do something before I go to sleep. Desiree is so great! She is my best friend up here in Austin. When I think about how we met(we met in Chicago at a Youth Leadership Forum the summer after our Junior year of High School) and that we both came to U. T. , it astonishes me how fate works. I am a firm believer in fate. My mom always worries about me getting killed in a car accident or getting attacked or something, but I always tell her that a meteor could come through my ceiling at ten o'clock at night and kill me if God wants me dead. There is no stopping fate. But then again, maybe I put too much trust into fate. I always think that things happen for a reason and that if something is meant to be, it will happen. I think that is a good thing to believe. It gives you a positive outlook on life. When something bad happens, I always remind myself that it happened for a reason. This sort of thinking really helps me get over stuff. I bet that everyone who does this assignment ends up talking about love. I think that love and relationships are always on people's minds. I know that I think about it often. Wondering what my future husband is doing right now at this very minute or thinking about some guy that I like. I don't have a boyfriend in Austin right now, but in some ways I'm glad that I don't. I find that when I like a guy I end up thinking about him in class instead of paying attention to the class. That can really get me into trouble. Who knows? I really need to do well this semester. I am shooting for a 4. 0! I think that getting a 4. 0 would be awesome, and I am going to do it! I want to do it at least once before I graduate from college. That is one of my goals. That may sound kind of sad, but I really want to just to show everyone that I am here and I got a 4. 0. Even if it is only once, I want to do it. Well, my twenty minutes is up and I really need to get some sleep so I can work on getting that 4. 0 GPA. It was nice talking to ya whoever you are.
My mind is wandering back and forth between what I want to do and what I need to do. I need to study, read about a dozen chapters out of my textbooks and learn the material inside and out, but I don't want to. I want to just remain calm and lie down on my bed with no worries and no setting of the alarm clock. That's all. Is that too much to ask? I'm actually in a rather uncomfortable state of mind right now, or in reality, I've been in that state of mind since the first day of school. It seems I have lost a lot of my drive and motivation, but I'm trying to gain it back. I want it BACK! Anyway, I am somewhat depressed and sad and I just feel uneasy. I want to be able to give my emotions freely, love in particular, but something always holds me back. Maybe I'm scared, I don't know. What am I going to do with my life? Now that's a question which really needs an answer, but do I have oneno, not me! I am currently a biology major, but I don't know if that is what I want to do. I don't want to go to medical school, but I don't know what else would be really interesting for me. I am very scared that I'm not going to find out what I want to be or should be and then I'm just going to be stuck. Competition is awful, especially between siblings. My brother knows what he wants to do, and I am 100% certain that he will be successful, in fact I know that he would be great at anything he decided to do. That's what I wantI want to know that I'm going to make it without a doubt or hesitation. This is the lack of motivation, inspiration, confidence, or whatever, I was referring to earlier. I use to be very strongwilled and I always set my mind to something and did it. Now, I know I still do that to a certain degree, but not as much, I WANT IT BACKNOW! I'm lonely and tired. I want to find some really good people who I can become really good friends with, but for some reason, I'm really not looking that hard. My social skills have also decided to go into hibernation for a while. Consequently, its my first year at The University of Texas, surrounded by 50,000 people, and I don't even go out of my way to meet new people. That is something that is really starting to bother me, but hopefully as I get more familiar and comfortable with the system and environment everything will end up working out by itself. See normally, my thought would be that I would change and rise to the challenge because that's me, but not now, now I am depending on a nonexistent entity to "work out by itself. " Oh well, something needs to change.