I am so glad I made this assignment. why do I always leave things to the last moment like this. classic Laurie"  ivsuppose. I don't even want to write correctly -grammar and punctuations. It won't matter though. I am looking at all my different rings I have and how shaky my hands feel from working all day. I hope my dad will like my apartment. and I hope Chris does not find out that Bryan is going with me tonight. what am I going to wear. what kind of dance will it be. will the main dancer be technically perfect or will I sit through the whole performance being annoying and critical. I hate lying. especially to my best friend. I can feel the guilt weigh my arms down. right down to my shaky hands. the rotating fan keeps whizzing past my face. I need a printer. I'm surprised chris lets me use hers. the marker is going to dry out and chris will get mad. her shoes have no shoe laces and are very dirty. man I wonder what those things have seen. lots of drugs probably! but they are retired now. the donnas are very self assured with themselves. I wish I had a d-cup that people stared at. no not really, I like being petite, brenna always complains about her boobs. and Misty is getting fake boobs! what a freaking dumbass. she is like the classical example of female american mistakes. gets married at 19, boob job at 20, child at 21, divorce at 22. don't come crying to me because of your bad decisions. well no I would be a good friend I just feel very betrayed because she left me! and at a whim at that. ugh I wish ollie was not such a bad cat. the more I write the heavier my chest, I realize that I write about bullshit! maybe micheal will ask me out, that was what he was "trying" to do right? he is cute in a hispanic way and I love different cultures. but why is bryan perfect but unreachable. I would feel devastated if C  was doing what I was to me. why am I sweating. haha. I am kind of nervous for tonight. I hope it won't be awkward with Alex there. I told Garry not to worry about Chris. shit what do I do. "classic Laurie" I don't think before actions enough. and what the hell am I going to wear tonight. I have to have that put together tight look. maybe stilettos and hair up. shit I am late and I still have 8 minutes of writing left. I thought I turned that dryer signal off. it irritates me. I can hear my bass from my room. that means Chris can hear an awful lot. ok dad should be here at 8 and I leave at 610. arg what to do with Christina. eek my phone is ringing, but I won't get it. now brennas phone is ringing. its a very strange "why the hell did you put it on that" ring. ahh my fav radiohead song just came on. it makes me want to be sad. I was talking to CHris last night about depression and how easily slipped into it is. I would like just for a day to transform into someone else and see if they feel the same way all the time like its a characteristic of the human race or just me. I never close my jaw tight enough and Ill find myself with it hanging and it makes me so angry. I wonder what everyone else is writing. I need to take a shower and chill the fuck out. I am turning into my mother. it would be nice to have more plants in our apt. fix it up more. finish a painting. crap get canvas materials and you better not forget your books again. I really like charles. he is a good teacher, I like him because he reminds me of myself except he is 6 ft and black. very soft spoken. people seem to like me in painting. I should talk more tho. not like this tho. well shower time, this has actually relaxed my chaotic mind!