I just don't feel like I have quite gotten into the groove of school yet. I hate that we start before labor day, because I feel like I am just getting my schedule back to normal when I get another vacation. I think I'm going home to see my mom this weekend, my birthday is tomorrow and hers is on Monday so were going to have a girls weekend, shopping, makeovers, haircuts, I can't wait. I wish that Glenn was coming with me though, I hate to travel by myself, especially flying, I'm glad the flight only takes an hour but I really do not like to fly. I can't imagine going to Europe and being on a plane for an entire day, I would want to jump out, it just makes me feel trapped at least when your in the car you can stop along the way for a travel break. anyway, besides getting ready for this weekend, I have a lot of homework I need to finish, so I can have fun while I'm home, my horoscope told me today was a good housecleaning day, I've been needing to do that ever since Glenn's party, so I better do it today, or ill have to wait till the next full moon, or favorable planetary alignment!:)  I don't really believe in horoscopes, but I still read them, especially around my birthday, silly superstition I guess, my horoscope for this week said I should do something memorable and kind of crazy for my birthday. I'm thinking that's not such a bad idea. I've only got a couple more years left that its still socially acceptable for me to be irresponsible. what crap, I hope I'm doing pseudo-irresponsible (not life-threatening and stupid, just fun)  until I'm very, very old. its so weird that I would want to be like that, because I don't think I give off that image to the world. actually taking risks really scare me and I avoid them in real life as much as possible, but my rich a varied fantasy life is full of them. this should give you a clue to how type a I am, my fantasies about taking risks usually just include planning them, hardly ever actually doing them. where was I? oh yeah birthday, so I'm kind of bummed out bc I gave Glenn a really great party and bought him lots of presents bc at the time we had money, but surprise his stupid company hasn't paid him yet so right now a great birthday present for me would be to pay the bills. I'm feeling a little guilty about the way I spent money on him, when I sort of knew what the situation would be, but I can't do anything about it now, and I feel like its selfish of me to want him to reciprocate what I did for him. I guess that's my spoiled only child coming out. I really did have fun watching him opening his presents and enjoying his party, I didn't do those thing so he would do the same for me, but I would be nice! okay back to school I'm feeling okay about most of my classes even chemistry, but I do not want to fail calculus again! that would suck, I already dislike the prof's teaching style. I know he wants us to learn by understand the proofs, he thinks that doing tons of problems for practice, which is what I like, is a "high school" way to learn,  he actually really gets on my nerves. I really don't care about understanding calculus, I don't even have to take the second part, I just want to memorize formulas and pass the tests, too bad it doesn't seen to work like that in his class. I guess if I just keep up with it should be okay, that was my problem last semester, I just kept getting further and further behind, and tried to cram the night before the final. that works in my liberal arts classes, but in none of my science classes, which I guess in a strange way is why I like them. when I enjoying what I'm learning I don't mind reading everyday, and usually by the end of the semester I can really apply what I've learned in broader terms. it was really cool to see that a lot of the methodology and general theories I learned in my ecology classes were also used in psy. calculus is not one of those things I feel like I'm going to enjoy