ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
Well I really do have alot I should be doing right now but I thought I would get this out of the way and I want to do it early because I am paranoid it won't get sent by some freak accident. Anyway I really need to get stuff done. I need tp study for French even though it's a French I test and I've been in French for 3 years so hopefully I will do o. k. Some guy just tried to chat with me but I told him I was busy and now I feel kinda bad. Oh well he'll get over it. People in Austin really do try to chat with other people in Austin alot. The only people that try to talk to me are online. Maybe it's because I intimidate people. I'm 6 feet tall. I like it though because most guys find it really attractive. My boyfriend loves it. He lives in New Jersey so it really doesn't matter anyway. I really love him. I met him Cancun In May after graduation and he has called me just about every night since. He's even coming down here next month to see me. I really miss him. He really can't even afford to come down because he works in a casino in Atlantic City. That actually kinda bothers me. He's 24 years old. He really needs some ambition. That's something I really admire in people. I've got alot myself. I hope to be a producer someday and live in New York. I can't wait to get out of here. I'm already ready to graduate. I miss my friends from home. Hopefully I can see Jina in 2 weeks. I may go to visit my brother at A&M so hopefully we can hang out. I really feel like people don't understand me. I really wish Rich lived closer. I know he loves me. I went with my roommate to visit her boyfriend at Baylor this weekend. It was fun. I just really miss my boyfriend even more now. I really nee to read for RTF right now. I want to read ahead for this week. I just want to get out of here. I just wish I could pack up my bags and move to Europe. I do want an education so I guess I'll stick around here for four years or so. I need to call Jina. I ran into my old boyfriend the other day but I pretended I didn't see him. He is someone I will never get over. He had the most amazing mind. He is going to be very successful one day. I feel like he is out of my league. I know I'm not but he just never really understood me. I hope I see him again this week and maybe I will have the courage to talk to him.
For instance, adjusting to the enormous crowd of students and coping with the overcrowded lecture halls has been extremely difficult. In addition, meeting new friends has also presented another challenge for me because I live off campus. I attempt to meet new people in my classes; however, it seems I haven't established any new friendships yet. However,  I will continue my efforts throughout the semester. Furthermore, I have been overwhelmed by the hours of homework I have been assigned each evening. It is a drastic change from my responsibilities in high school. I have made a strong commitment to myself to succeed- no matter the obstacles I encounter. I have dreamed of earning my degree at the University of Texas since I was a small child. As I grew into a young adult, I never let go of my aspiration to attend the University. My unceasing desire motivates me to apply my abilities and employ my talents to surpass all odds. I will accomplish my goals and I will prove to myself and family I can do anything that I put my mind to. When I get discouraged, I refer to the scripture, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. "  I know I can succeed at the University of Texas with my sincere desire and strong determination.
I'm pretty stressed out right now, I just have to get this paper out of the way so I can start on my other 615 hours of homework. What is going through my mind right now, hmmm I haven't called home enough. I've skipped Biology too many times, but I still need an A. I think the teacher is throwing way too much at us for this to only be a 2 hour class. I can get through it though. What is going on in my mind right now?? Actually, I'm thinking I need to think of something interesting to write about so the person who has to read all these doesn't slip into a coma and die. I have a date tomorrow night with a girl that I hardly know, but she was cute enough I don't know what I think about this date thing every weekend, it is getting very old way too fast. How is that supposed to help me adapt to college life. A date is not necessary for every single event, especially when I am dressed up as Country Club Ken (by choice of course). I just heard from someone that this socalled hot date I have has some personal issues. What is that supposed to mean? No one would go into detail, just that she had issues. She could be a bulimic head case for all I know or it could be something simple like she is very into herself. I have a friend who always says that about someone else, but they couldn't describe it. I'm worried about my roommate. He acts strait but every once in a while I catch him staring at me when I get out of the shower. Now that I think about it, it is extremely hard to write about my constant thoughts, because you have to put effort into typing it out, you cannot just think. In class, that is when I can think continuously without interruption, the things that go through my mind in one hour of lecture can begin with some girl I saw looking at me and end up with my thoughts about my first exam next week. There is one good looking girl on my floor that I keep going back to, I winder if she has issues as well. I have been to her room a couple of times, but I can't decide if it could happen or not, I do not like to go for things unless I am absolutely positive she will say yes. Maybe I think about girls too much, but I am a college freshman boy and what else do we think about besides school occasionally and my lack of money by the second week of the month. How in the world does that always happen to me once I get on my own, I could always manage money at home, but the day I moved up here it just disappeared and now I am already left with hardly nothing. People always told me that, but I never listened.
Assignment 1 It is 12:00 am and my mind is very tired. It has been a very long and exhausting day, and I can't believe this is only the second day of class, I have a long way to go, hopefully Ill be able to handle it. It seems as if I don't feel like thinking, my mind feels lazy as if it has been asleep this whole summer--I need to wake it up and make it start thinking again--like I did back in highschool. --or at least back before my Senior year when I didn't really do much thinking at all. I hope tomorrow goes good and I am able to get all the stuff I need to get done. I'm kind of worried that I am not going to be able to manage my time while I'm here--like sitting here right now at midnight where no one knows where I am, kind of scares me. I have the freedom to do what I want now, and I hope I can still make myself do all the things I need to. I am also worried right now--walking back late at night by myself. It scares me to think of what might happen to me. But some things have to get done, and you just have to do them. I really would like to go to sleep right now, I think my tiredness is interferring with my ability to think about this writing assignment. Maybe I should have waited until I was a little bit more awake. Or maybe, I think better when I am tired. I don't know. My mind is blank right now, and I am feeling a little anxious that I am not writing what I need to be writing about,and that some how who ever is reading this will not give me credit because I didn't follow the assignment. I wish I could go home and sleep in my bed and my house, I am getting a little bit homesick. I already miss my family at home and all my friends. It gets lonely up here, when you don't really know to many people, sometimes I feel like I don't belong here and that what I am majoring in is totally wrong for me. I feel like I won't be able to handle Calculus and some of my hard classes. But, I know I have to. I don't really have a choice right now--I have to at least finish out this semester and see how things go. I hope my roomate isn't worried about me, she left here about and hour ago and I told her I would be there in a little while. Oh well, she probably just fell asleep or something. I am feeling kind of anxious right now--I don't think I like being here by myself--I don't know what it is. I feel anxious a lot--I should stop worrying about things so much. Well the 20 minutes is up. The End
"Stream of consciousness" my brain is thinking. I am asked to write a short page analysis of this theme, a stream of consciousness. At least I am choosing to analyze this theme and expound upon it. To begin, I first want to break down what a "stream of consciousness" literally means. The first word stream could be defined as something(water, words, life) flowing in a forward motion. The word consciousness is the state of being conscious rather than unconscious, which is what you are when you sleep. When we go to class, drive our cars, and talk to friends we are of a conscious mind at least we hope so. Our conscious mind is active. We are aware and responsible for our actions. The opposite of the conscious mind is the unconscious mind. People use their unconscious mind when they are in a deep sleep or are in a coma, also termed as unconscious. A good example of being in an unconscious state of mind and not knowing or meaning your physical actions is sleep walking. While being in an unconscious state of mind people mysteriously jump out of bed, sprint outside, and run into oncoming traffic. The next day they have no recollection of the whole incident. So a stream of consciousness could describe your life when you are awake. We are in a constant, flowing forward stream of consciousness. We cannot reverse the hands of time and swim against the current. Our actions and words while we are awake shape our stream, our stream of consciousness. Our stream is filled with rocks, sharp turns, and one day we will fall off the waterfall at the end of our stream.
I am pretty up set that this is my second time on this assignment. the computer I did this on the first time disconnected the first time I did this exercise. I wish I had time to do it over yesterday but I had to study. studying is taking up alot of my time. more than I expected I would have to. I didn't know that college would be this tough. Oh' this is my favorite part of Scream. to bad that I have to keep writing. I really dig this assignment. I think it is pretty cool that the ten points is free. T he assignment isn't that  hard to do if you can find time. That is one thing that I wish I had more of. I wish that reading come a hell of alot easier than it does. I just wish that the first time would be enough. But for me it isn't. I wish that some times I was as smart as some people I know. the load of school is really beginning to weigh me down. I guess you guys will label that as stress. I always feel that I AM being constantly studied in psy. I always wonder what that would when I do a certain thing or think a certain thought. I really enjoy the class but I am way behind. I have a lot of reading to do in that class . I have alot of catching up to do. Especially in that class I am way behind on the chapters. I just want to have some time to do the things I want to do. I want to go an play basketball and lacrosse or just watch TV. I just want to relax and have fun . Studying sucks. It makes me sick and it never leaves my mind. Always know I should study but I don't. I am so lazy when it comes to doing the tings I have to. Man the moving is getting good but I don't want to tell my roommate to turn it off. I like it to o so I wouldn't to turn it off either. I sure do think this twenty minutes seems to be taking a long time. You think that it would go by quickly but not when you want to do something else. I am really excited about next week when I go to see Nate and Emily in Dallas and Memphis. I hope I CAN get a better car so I can make it. I am also excited about the football game this week when we sit on the 40 in row 5. That's sweet. I think this is taking so long. you guy's should make this 15 or 10 minutes long next time. too bad we couldn't do that for the other two due in December. I am two shy to ask the Prof. in class, maybe after class or before. He'll probably laugh in my face when I suggest it. The last four minutes are taking too damn long I just want to finish and do something else. I want to watch the movie and not study. Studying blows. I wish things were a hell of alot easier. the clock is going to slow. I am sick of writing. this is taking too long to finish. I want to do something else than this poop. the writing is getting very boring. there is another good part of the movie coming up. the movie is pretty good and I have to do this crap. there it went the best part and I missed it because of this crap. It may seem harsh but that is what I am thinking right now and that is what you asked for. yeah I done with this.
ok, so my grandfather died yesterday. why don't I feel sad yet. what is wrong with me, do I have no conscionce?  When my mother told my sister and I, she told us like we should pitty her, not like we should also be sad, what the f*** he was my grandfather. it was all about her, when can you come down to houston to watch the animals, so I can go to the funeral, not, do you wnat to come with me to the funeral?  how can she possible be so selfish. but then look at me, I am so busy being angry, I haven't had a chance to be sad yet. what if I don't get sad?  Is that bad?  Am I a bad person?  I only saw him once every couple of years, if that. I didn't really know him,  and when I did see him he was very generous, but also a real jerk. his intensions were always really good, but he always was very bosy and rude. I remember once when I was like 8 we went out to eat, and he yelled at the waitress because they didn't seat us fast enough. but, last year when he came to my graduation we went out to eat . oh had a thought. My sister and I were thinking about him the night before he died. thinking about how he is always so concerned with us, like for example, he always focused in on something important to us, like when I was a vegitarian he always sent we cook books and when I danced he always called me his little princess or his little ballerina. this continued for years, he never forgot. . when we went out to eat for my graduation he was so polite to the waiter, and even joked with him
IF I COULD ACTUALLY PLAY IN MAJOR TOURNAMENTS LIKE THE US OPEN, THE FRENCH OPEN, THE AUSTRILIA OPEN, ETC. EVEN IF JUST ONE TOURNAMENT, I WILL BE SO GREATFUL. AS I CONTAINUED WATCH THESE PROS PLAY, I PUSH MYSELF IN WORKING MY WAY UP THERE;I PRACTICE AS MUCH AS I CAN,I TRY TO LEARN AS MUCH AS I CAN, FROM THEIR MENTAL PART TO THEIR TECHNIQUES; ALTHOUGH IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE THAT I WILL EVER  BECOME AS GOOD AS THEY ARE. YET, I NEVER GIVE UP MY DREAM OF ACTUALLY PLAYING IN ONE OF THE MAJOR TOURNAMENTS BECAUSE I BELIEVE THAT DREAMS DO COME TRUE IF I WORK HARD FOR IT. IF THIS DREAM NEVER COME TRUE I WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED AT MYSELF, AT LEAST THERE ARE GREAT MEMORIES LEFT IN ME. THERE ARE OTHER DREAMS AND MISSIONS I HAVE PLANNED TO WORK FOR, NOW AND IN THE FUTURE, AND I WILL ALWAYS BE POSITIVE IN EVERY DREAMS I HAVE AND IN WHATEVER I DO.
the channel is tuned to MTV; so there must not be anything better to watch at midday. However, being inside watching crap on the television is better than sitting outside in the Hellish heat. When will the madness stop. I write these words in between my 2D design studio class at the art building in the morning and my psychology class at 3:30 PM. Myb studio class starts at 8 AM, way too early. I write from my apartment in south Austin. I get back and forth between school and my apartment by way of Capital metro. The bus is convienent  but not so convienent. I don't too much like this computer or any computer for that matter. Technology  one day my ruin the human race, we'll have to see. At the moment technology seems to be our best friend, our idle, and to some our lover. That last group of people don't really exsist. Materialism is the Western way of life. This is why we have so much apathy towards other humans we don't know. Some think that if we have our computer to talk to why do we need human interaction. We need human interaction more than we need contact with technology. I would rather have a good conversation with another human than a brief relationiship with a television, computer, or some other device. But what about technology as an assistance to human interaction. This is a good thing as long as it's not relied on too heavily  to subsitute for personal contact. We continue to amase ourselves with new toys, but someday we might second guess our advancements.
Well, I finally made it to the computer lab. Of course I waited until the last minute. Now that I figured out how to get in here it won't be so hard tomorrow. I hope I can get it done tomorrow by 5 because I only have an hour between classes. I am so happy that I got out of my class early today. It gives me time to study other things. I think I did fairly well on my quiz but who knows. I should have gone to work today. I feel a little guilty for leaving when I did, but I show up and they aren't even there. What am I supposed to do, just stand out in the hall like an idiot?  This job is a waste of my time. They never have anything for me to do anyway. I wish I could quit, but I can't because Mom is friends with Linda and I need the money. Especially now because of the car situation. I swear Don is just being a big baby about the whole thing. I hope I'm not in a bad mood this weekend. It will be nice to just relax without having to go out. I hope my dinner turns out ok. Wally might be sorry he asked me to cook for him. I need to call him tonight for his birthday. I hope the package he got was either from his mom or dad. I can't believe he didn't get a card from either of them last year. I know he was upset about that, but of course he would never admit that to me. It's too bad sometimes that I can't talk to him about everything. Like last night, I know he didn't know what to say when I called, but I just kept thinking that if I had been talking to Rica or Renee they would know how to handle the situation better. But what can I expect, he's just a guy. He's told me before that he doesn't handle the mushy stuff very well. At least he listens to me. I'm glad I had the chance to talk to Genia yesterday. I really do feel bad about not visiting her, but I knew it was best for everyone if we didn't see her. At least she doesn't live here anymore. I think that would be a bad situation. I really hope she gets over him soon. She's been sad too long, and it's just not doing her any good. I've completely run out of things to say, and that doesn't happen to me very often. Unfortunately it's happening more often. I really love it here at UT, but it is incredibly lonely. I see thousands of people everyday, but I'm still lonely. I guess that's why I'm on the phone for so long every night. I need to feel connected to my friends even if I don't see them as much as I used to. Unfortunately, I'm on the phone so much that I don't get much studying done. It's alot different than High school. I never had to study in high school. Now I'm so behind, and I don't know if I'll ever get caught up. I guess when I'm done with this I'll go study until my next class, which happens to be psychology. I thought this was supposed to be a lesson in stress relief. Well, this assignment has given me nothing but a headache. Speaking of headaches I can't seem to get rid of mine. It's either stress or allergies. Either way I'm suffering. Well, I'm finally done so I guess this is it.
I don't know why I got to do this assignment. I am feeling kinda hungry now. I wish iwere in dallas now with my friends . I like the shoes that guy is wearing. I need to call up my friend today. mann this assignment is boring. hope the professor does'nt fail me for reading this. I wonder what's for lunch today. I wish time would pass by fast and friday would come soon. Some people in the library look really old. I wish I were tall like the guy walking there. I think my watch is faster than the watch here. I need fill out a petition form for credit like the person beside me after I get done with this assignment. is drinking really necessary to be cool. I have thirteen minutes remaining. I wish my girlfriend were here. I think I should find another girlfriend. umm maybe not I donno I'm confused. why is that guy there staring this way ? what am I supposed to do today ? math is done I guess I'll finish economics once I'm done with this pointless assignment. Nine minutes left and I hate typing cause I am not fast like other pepole but's it's okay I guess. how do pepole study soo much ? I should try out the bus service here sometime. i got 5 minutes left and my mind isnow thinking of what to think . is'nt that confusing. it is soo quiet in here. I am bored but I got to finish this assignment. that girl looks finee , ooh well I should not be distracted or cheat on my girlfriend. mann there are many indian students in this university, never seen soo many indian students ever. should I juss submit it although I have 2 mins left  I guess I'll just sit till 2 mins pass by ooh well a in left and I got to finish the petition form . I feel so stupid writing my thoughts on a computer for someone to read this is crazy . I can't believe that I think all this stuff all the time but I bet it would feel stupid to read it. ooh yeah twenty mins are up I hope these thoughts are enough for a grade, hope I make a good score, I have to keep up a high gpa or else my parents will be disappointed ok thoughts bye for now
I feel stressed as there is not enough time for anything. Will this ever slow down. Always things, always processes. I am glad school has started again, yet  I am worried how everything will turn out. I am angry with my step mother. A death in the family has made me depressed, and happy at the same time because I know that she is no longer hurting and is in a happier place. I am frustrated with growing out my hair. My dads and my relationship has grown since our talk last week. I am dissapointed in the way I acted a couple of days ago. I hope my dads and my relationship continues to grow and build. I am ready for the heat to go away it is miserable out side. I feel dissapointed in myselfif I don't work out daily, and I probably shouldnt. I love my new apartment, but sometimes I feel lonely. I think I will like all of my classes this year because they all seem very interesting. I need to enjoy something to do well in it.