Im in the mood to write and so I decided to do this writing assignment. sometimes I get in this mood to write anything and everything thats on my mind. I guess it only happens when Im bothered by something. time and time again thought it always seems to be about people and my interactions with them and how they are so I dont know. how should I describe. I guess I was too sheltered to know how much people can hurt someone. why are people so selfish and care so much about their own well-being?  why does it hurt the good guy to be good. it seems the nicer you are, the more naive and innocent. the more you get hurt. youd think id get the hang of it by now. but I dont want to become like them. whoevers reading this. are you Christian?  I am. or I believe in God and His Son Jesus Christ and I try to follow his ways. but it hurts so much because to win is to lose and yet I know Im doing something wrong because in psalms its says to be as harmless as doves and wise as serpents. I think I've got the harmless as doves thing down, but Im not very wise. I always get so hurt. I dont know what to say. my thoughts dont seem to be flowing and I cant seem to get what's on my mind out on this screen. I wish everyone were. how come I cant think. but Im supposed to write for 20 minutes so I guess ill continue. no, Im not totally disappointed with all people or anything if thats what it sounds like. in fact I love my first roommate. she was so good so unselfish. so caring and hardworking. then there's my second roommate. I gave so much to her. honestly. and literally. she never once cooked for me yet I always for her. she never once cleaned yet I never complained. I bought the groceries and cooked and she ate. I cared for her well being. I never said anything to hurt her. I dont even know how to describe. I really did care about her well being. as roommates, I thought of her as my sister in caring about her. and I tried to show her gods love. her mom came to visit for a month. I gave up my bed and moved into the living room  since we had a one bedroom. living with anyones mother, anyone else would complain. the whole month she was there. I still cleaned. but she did cook. although I didnt eat at home that much. I tried to go home late and leave early because it wasnt very comfortable with someone elses mom at home. I tried my best. and I really thought my old roommate appreciated it. then the day before they moved out I noticed I was missing some silverware and a pair of shoes and since the mom was packing, I presumed she must have misplaced. so I left a note before I left for school to check for me - that Im not sure how many silverware because I lost some in moving before and so its not too many Im sure, but a few. when I came home that evening. there were my pair of shoes and a few silverware she took out all her silverware and started to make me look at every single thing saying, "look! this is ours,"  then another wrapped piece,  saying "look,"  and more and more. I was so shocked. I told her I didnt mean to accuse her of stealing, if thats what she had mistaken it, but  she said no, thats not it  well its been over 20 minutes now. and in the end she ended up misplacing more of my stuff and I wasnt going to bother asking about them. but it hurt me. not that she took the stuff, but to come out like that. after living together. I have a third roommate now (thank goodness the 2nd was only for the summer)and I hope everything goes well. I wrote about this because I saw my 2nd roommate today. and though we never fought I dont think were friends anymore. and every time I think of her,  Im hurt.