I am sitting hear at my desk in the dorm listening to Ashley in the kitchen. I   hear the cabinets shutting and bowls that are clanging together. I wonder what   she is eating for lunch It kind of makes me hungry too. Now I'm thinking about   when I'm going to eat . I have my discussion class in another 40  minutes across   the street. I'm worried that I won't make it to the psych SI meeting afterwards   because there are so many things to do. I told Katy and Jenina that I would go with   them, but I really want to go by the party on the plaza to see all the clubs and   organizations. I'm not sure why I want to go by there. There are so many different   organizations that I want to do and I am feeling so stressed out right now with all   the options racing through my head, but i don't want to overcommit because then   what if I can't handle the coursework and my grades drop. That also worries me. I   have three tests coming up next week at least in my huge intro classes. I am so   confused as to what they will be over and how closely I should be reading and   what I need to pick up on. That is why I really need to go to the SI meeting today.  Hopefully that will help. So now I am thinking back to what organizations I want to   join. I am already feeling so overwhelmed with having to squeeze in 10 study   hours a week for Kappa Delta. I don't think that much time is unreasonable, but it's   just that I have to walk to the house and that takes time and then I might run out of   reading to do and just end up sitting there. If it weren't for the rowing team, I would   be able to spend plenty of time there, but it just so happens that I row in the   afternoon, so I can't really get anything done for a solid length of time. That   sidekicks meeting was fun last night, but I really don't think I can go to the party   tonight because I need to sleep. I always falll asleep in that RTF class at 8 am and   I need to be alert. Oh, and I have that spanish composition that I need to learn   vocab and the verb forms for. There is so much to do and I'm worried that I just   can't do rowing because  it takes so much time, but maybe I'd rather be playing a   sport then watching it liek the sidekicks organiztion. I just don't know. I also want to   play volleyball, but I can't decide what level to play on. My FIG is starting a team,   but will that be frustrating because we won't be good and I want to play   competetively or will it be relaxing and fun. I can't decide!  I really want someone to   tell me what will work best because I just want to enjoy college. Ashley just flushed   the toilet so that water is running. I wonder what is wrong with her. She's been so   upset the last few days and it's weird that she doesn't stay here some nights. I think   it's boyfriend problems, but she won't say. And I think it's weird that Tim was over   here when I walked in last night. If I were Diana I think that would weird me out, but   I guess I shouldn't worry about that. He seems nice though.  I miss everyone so   much. I love Anna and my KD girls, but life just isn't the same. I don't want to be   home, but I want all my friends to be here with me. No one understands me liike   they do and I miss all the closeness that we had together. I especially wish jennifer   and Becky were here. I need to be harassed by Becky in her caring funny way   and I need Jen's crazy overexcited   guess what   every now and then. I hope   Ashley is doing well. She's probably in London right now. The T. V. is on in the   next room and I hear a motorcycle outside. I hate those things so much. They are   so dangerous. I can't decide what to do tonight. I want to go out and meet guys, but   I really shouldn't. I hope that Paul guy doesn't call this weekend. He's the biggest   player. Oh I wonder if I have OU tickets yet. I can't believe they're only giving out   2,000. I really need to get to class. I feel guilty after all the september 11th stuff   yesterday and not going to the candlelight ceremony, but I just get so depressed   after seeing it over and over and then not being with the same people I was at this   time last year makes me sad. I miss everyone so much, but now I need to go to   class.