last night was pretty good and all. I was glad to see everyone thats in san antonio again and javi who is still at home and hating it. but who can blame the guy, weslaco isn't exactly the place one would want to be. I just feel bad for junior, he feels totally alone and stuff. javi and him are the only two who are still at home and all, but junior never talks to javi because he doesn't like what javi does on his spare time, so because of that, he doesn't talk to him as much. I was just glad he called on davids birthday to wish him a happy birthday and to talk, I miss that guy a lot, I just wish hed get off of his lazy ass and do something. he isn't working or going to school, hes just at home feeling sorry for himself and ballooning. all I could tell him is that he needed to do something to occupy himself and to not just sit thete and feel sorry for himself. hopefully he'll be here in austin visiting soon. speaking of getting off your ass, I need to get on the ball and stop procrastinating. high school might have been somewhat of a breeze through (a walk in the park) but college isn't the same, needless to say. dad said this is the rest of my life I'm preparing for, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't say that quote to myself at least a hundred times because I'm being lazy. I miss dad, and mom and everyone else. yea we all hate eachother and get at eachothers throats but thats why we're family, only we can talk to eachother the way we do and get away with it. much like me and my friends, because friends are family too, even knowing more about you than you might through observation. regardless, I love austin, its a great town, there is so much to do, and a lot of time to do it in, but with all this free time you need to do it in moderation, because too much of a good thing can be bad for you. I hope grandma is ok, I miss waking up and telling her "buenos dias, como manecio" and her being amazed that I'm even at home and even more amazed at the time it is that I wake up. I just hope nothing happens to her. I feel sorry for mel and all the trauma that she is probably feeling. she just had a kid, her husband is being accused of something we are all sure that he had nothing to do with, and the damn police with their false accusations the they are giving her, as well as the threats, in order to get her to tell them the information they believe she has, but which in fact she doesn't. because no matter how bad the news, she would come to my family first and let us know before her own mother would know, because she is like my oldest sister, and she is probably the closest cousin that I may have. damn, I miss georgie. stupid punk with too much time on his hands and he knows it. procrastinator in the making just like me. I miss listening to my punk and ska with him, he was the only person that liked it as much as I did, and I didnt even force him to like it. funny now though, in austin one would say that its a bit "trendy" to like this music, but in weslaco. its not really known. and even less played on the damn radio. speaking of radio, it sux. except for some stations in austin. and I don't know the call letters. I'm bad at remembering things. I guess that may be why I procrastinate. my dad has always told me that its impossible to forget things as quickly as I do, so I know he doesn't believe me when I say "I don't remember". but in fact, I really don't, and its not because I drink like every day or because I'm on a drug, because yes I do drink, but not in large quantities (binge drinking) like some people and I only do so on the weekends strictly never on school days, and I don't do drugs. speaking of drugs, I knew it was easy to get them at my hometown if u wanted them, but austin is like a haven for those who feel the urge to get away. already I have open invitations from people I've met and seen a few times to go and smoke out with them, and one guy who said he could get me any drug I wanted free for the first time. I can just brush these things aside because they don't interest me or anything, but I get some weird looks from other people nearby who can hear the conversation, but I don't let that bother me, because if they are going to judge me from what they hear and not by who I really am, they arent worth my time. my dad told me to never judge anyone by what is heard and said, and I never have. some of my best friends today were spoken bad of before I had ever met them. now we're as close as brothers in a sense. I love my friends, I don't really know what id do without them. my biggest fear doesn't seem to be what kind of future I have or if I will ever be successful, or if I will let my parents down (god forbid though), but my biggest fear is never seeing my friends again. but when I think about it, its the stupidist thing, because today, the world is smaller than ever, and anyone can be found with the click of a button. so I don't really know why I feel this way or anything, nothing traumatic has happened to make me feel this way, so I don't really have an explanation for this feeling, and being the smart ass that I am making fun of everything with a comment for everything, this really does scare me