ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
I'm wondering just what the point of this is. this is really boring,       I wish I had something to eat, it's getting close to dinner time, maybe      if I turn on the stereo this won't be so bad. it's really hot in my dorm room, this is still as boring as ever. I don't know how I'm going to     be able to keep this up for twenty minutes. I can't help but stare at the     posters to kill time. I'm particularly fond the print of Monet's sunset at Venice. There are so many things I'd rather be doing right now, like watching TV or sleeping. Well I'd much rather this have been a 5 minute stream of consciousness writing, since 6 minutes has lapsed. I wonder     just how many of these the professor/TA's actually read. I know I wouldn't want to have to read any of these. Hopefully I did well on my biology test I took today. Tomorrow is my birthday and hopefully that will be cool. I still have a lot of reading to do tonight, which I will more than likely put off until sunday. Only ten minutes has gone by so far. this is incredibly boring, but at least it's not all that difficult. I thought last class's discussion was very interesting, however gruesome some of the experiments on the mice seemed. I can hear people talking out side. Normally I would find this disruptive, but now it's welcomed as it helps me think of more to write about. I wish I had a laptop so that I could type this elsewhere, and I think the heat from my computer contributes to my room's excessively high temperature. I wish I could go to the game saturday, but I didn't get a ticket. Last week's game was really exciting. Only one more minute. I just wish this were over with. I can't help but notice how disorganized my desk is, even this early in the school year. I can hear music playing in the next room. I wish my stereo system was that loud.
What am I feeling right now, hmmmmmmm. my consciousnesss. Right now it's the afternoon and I'm feeling pretty hungry. My stomach feels pretty empty and I think I can fill it up w\ a lot of food. My feelings and thoughts are pretty mixed up right now. There is so much going on. My mind is on so many things. there is so much to do. first I'm thinking about a girl that I was with and I left because of school. then I have to get my books for class. I still haven't fit in and I don't feel relaxed yet because of the things I have to do. I'm worried about if my financial aid is ever going to come through so I can pay for the books. Those books cost a lot of money. But this overpowering hunger of mine is really taking up a lot of my thoughts. somehow, though I am able to pull those really tiny thoughts which are really important. Man, I don't know what else. It's pretty crazy that I am here in Austin away from H-town, but next weekend I'll be able to go back home the hunger . man I wish I had eaten a lot earlier, all I had was some lasagna leftover. I can't believe I'm writing or typing for this long and straight because my forearm is starting to hurt. oh well, got to keep writing I hope this psychology class isn't so hard, that pretest was pretty damn long w\ thirty -two pages. the reason why there are no spelling mistakes is because I don't like to have errors, sorry. I wonder what the point of this is? their not going to check it. what are they going to do to this hmmmm. interesting I wonder what I'm going to write to her I miss everybody. my forearm really hurts I want to stop but there's only a few minutes left. right after this I'm going to the pulse and getting my money to get my books. I think UT is awesome, there is so many possibilities. these computers in the business school are pretty awesome too. hurry up time . I like this asssignment though, I like it a lot. I still don't get the freakin' assignments to the freakin' calculus class. I'm glad I was able to  drop English is the twenty minutes almost up yet?!!!! Holy crap. the veins on my forearms are poppin' out. Beautiful babies everywhere pennebaker cool. Hi there. this is me killing time . I have a lot more thoughts but I'm hungry and myforearm hurts. I'm typing w\one finger now. its almost up. this thing makes me sleepy. one minute left. yessss. wwhhhhooooeeee!!let'sgo it;'s over
I just got off AOL with my best friend form back home I get to go back to see her this weekend her family loves me her mom wants us to get married one of these that would be cool with me shes hot I dont know though cause I still really like my ex girlfriend we have talked a lot since I came here she goes to school in Hawaii we broke up but we have still dated on and off I really miss her I dont miss many of my other friends too much that s ok I am watching Sniffled while I do this I love this show it is the funniest I love school here except it is always busy I passed up on a frat party to do this and cause I got to work at 8 am I cant afford to go any longer with out sleep it has been a week since I got more than 4 hours of sleep I think ill sleep early tonight I will ask one of my friends form back home to our pledge party this weekend I'm an ATO were number 2 on campus in ratings what are ratings any way nothing this girl is hot I wanted her for a long time in kingwood but I never really got far with her she is an a d pi they are a big sorority here I'll ask her tomorrow I think but she has a boyfriend I want some taco bell it is my favorite food I ate Mexican food for 4 nights in a row I havent had any for z
. I never thought it would be this hard to think about my stream of consciousness. Now that I am aware that I am actually thinking to myself, it makes it really difficult to think normally. I keep giving myself all these weird things to write about but really none of them are really representational of the real way I think. My thoughts are usually random and irrelevant to anything going on around me. You could say I daydream often. I really wish that I were doing this in a quiet room because the things going on around me are effecting what I want to type about. Julie, my roommate, is usually in the library so I guess I should have taken advantage of that earlier and done this assignment then. My attention span is short. I keep finding myself drawn into her conversation. It makes me think about talking to my friends on the phone, which eventually leads to me reminiscing about some past event involving my friends. The funny thing about my situation now, is that only actual people talking, interrupts my thought process. The television doesn't disturb me at all. I have gotten very good at tuning it out. Maybe its because I have made it a habit of doing just about everything with the television on, including sleeping. I am growing impatient with the time now. It seems like 20 minutes has gone by, but when I check my clock it always reads the same. Time always passes slowly when you grow anxious for a certain amount of it to pass. This assignment is difficult for me. I am really having trouble recording my natural thought process instead of just making these random thoughts up for the sake of using up my 20 minutes. I just keep looking around my room hoping that it will spark some thought and give me something more to write about instead of this meaningless rambling. I don't know, my mind is blank now; I am pretty much out of time, so I think I will end on this statement.
Just sitting down and actually listening to your thoughts has become a rare event for most adolescents. I think it would be wise if I put myself on a quiet place and just thought about things such as my life, beliefs, and future. Today I went to a meeting for KVR News and received tons of information about the station and what I needed to do if I wanted to be apart of it. The meeting was extremely informative, almost too informative. My head was spinning by the time I left the station. I learned so much and that was only the tip of the iceberg. I feel as though I am behind in life right now. I'm definitely already behind in my schoolwork, but in other things too. I still feel as though as I am at camp not in my new home. My other friends already feel comfortable here. It also seems like there are numerous assignments and activities that I can't fit into a twenty four hours! I miss my best friend named Dana. She went to Tulane. She is doing well which makes me happy. Speaking of happiness, certain things in my life these days are causing me to experience extreme happiness. This is impressive because a year ago I was debating whether or not anyone could obtain true happiness. Now I am a firm believer. You see, about three months ago I met a beautiful guy by the name of John. He is intelligent, funny, artistic, and the best boyfriend a girl could ask for. This has been the longest not to mention the only serious relationship I have ever been in. John makes me feel pretty. He looks out for me and he loves me. When I am with him I am completely happy. Another strong catalyst to my blissfulness is food and the Jester Cafeteria has been coming through. Of course, I have to focus in quantity not quality! Whenever I eat there I get lost in the selections. So much to eat so little space! Though I reach these peaking moments of happiness, every once in a while they disappear. When I was filling out my pretesting questionnaire I started to feel depressed. All the questions were bringing up topics and ideas that made me think about how I handled issues. I'm not good at issues. I tend to bottle things up. I'm not good at verbalizing my emotions. This combination is dangerous. Sometimes I wonder if I have made wise choices. I wonder if my parents miss me. I wonder if my friends long to see me too. My selfconfidence is like one crazy roller coaster. One minute I am a gorgeous intellectual woman who knows what she wants and the next I am an ugly confused little girl who can't figure anything out. It is a good thing for me to acknowledge these things and occurrences in my life. I am very thankful for what God has given me.
I thnik that after this I'll do my chemistry homework and get it out the way. It will probably take me forever eventhough it's only 10 questions because I still need to read. My Incubius CD is ending. I need to ask Christina to start it again. I am wonder how I'm going to really learn how to speak Latin. I know I'll be able to read and Write it. When is my computer going to come in?  I feel like I'm intruding on Christina everytime I use her lap top. I'm drawing a blank. Get up Tina. I'm never good at this stream of thought stuff cause I'm always thinking about the stream of thought like in english class last year when Mrs. Posern asked us to do it for. . I guess it was ten minutes. I miss her. I miss Clinton and Pakey. I wonder what Pakey's doing right now. Probably out somewhere in Houston. I love this song. I really want to play guitar. I hope I make the band next year. That dream was wierd last night or this morning or something like that. Singing would be so often for a living. I've always liked being on the go constantly. I'm so organized and yet never organized enough. I wanna' here my song again. That's so wierd, when one song is on you can't think of another on. Those girls next door were really loud earlier today. What were they doing?  I don't dress up very much. I still don't understand how people can where heels to an amusement park. Six Flags was fun this summer. I love this song. I'd love to see them live. I wonder what there like in person. He has such an amazing voice.  I wonder how my voice would improve if I were to take lessons. I need to exercise more. That would definitly improve my lung capcity and my playing. I'm so upset I didn't make the band. I'm proud of myself though because I sightread music while everyone else had had their music for a whie. What am I going to play next year for an audition. I don't know. I need to practice again. Is my music here?  I need to send the pool key to my mom. I also need to find a church before my mom kills me. I want to go see My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Maybe we'll go sometime this week. I don't know. How much time left. Okay. Um. I did a really. times up.
The day I moved into Jester was a rainy, cloudy, and gloomy Saturday. The whether showed how I actually felt inside. kind of sad, glum, & anxious. It was hard for me to leave Houston at first, but now that I'm settled in and have started classes now I feel somewhat better. I miss what I've left behind, what is familiar to me, my friends, family, pets, and yes, my radio station 97. 9 THE BOX. I love Houston and will go back to live there again one day. I also miss my house, my room, and my bed too. It was kind of like my comfort zone. Whenever I had a problem or felt sad about something, I could hide in my room, my parents would try to comfort me and I would sleep away my problems. Well, I know sleeping doesn't solve your problems but it sure makes them seem not so bad after a nap. Now that I am in college, I will have to keep my head up and make new friends so I can lean on them when I need a shoulder or helping hand. I also feel anxious about meeting new people and talking to my professors. At first, to someone new, I might seem kind of shy, but once they get to know me they can see how I really open up and seem a little crazy too!  But it's sometimes hard for me at first to open up to someone and just be myself. I don't know why, it just depends on how I feel at the time I guess. There's also a little bit of fear inside me that makes me feel doubtful as to whether I will find my "niche" or my group of friends that I can hang out with. I have ran into a couple of my friends from highschool that I have been doing things with lately and that makes me feel good. Whether or not I want to join a sorority is something that I will deal with next year. If they seem cliquish and stuck up, I don't think I want to join one. maybe I'll go rushing and see what they're all about and then make my choice. I'm also curious about what I will get out of my college experience. Will I find my future husband here or get a good job right after I graduate?  Will I struggle the whole way and stick it out, or will I give up and drop out?  Just to let you know, I plan on doing my best and graduate in a couple of years. I have already been to each of my classes once and my mind is about to explode with all the information that was given to me. The professors told us what to do and gave us a syllable, now it is up to us to do it on our own time and to manage it wisely. I seem to think that it will be hard to keep track of all my assignments and homework. I hope I can stay organized throughout the year and not fall behind in any of my classes. I feel like I could get lost easily at such a big university with so many students. On the other hand I do have some positive emotions about college and my new experiences. I have a fresh start at a new life (with no parents!) and I can be whatever I want to be and do whatever I want to do. There are so many things on campus and in Austin to get involved with and do. and the good thing is that it is my choice!  I just hope I don't blow it!
I'm pissed. I just sat here for twenty fuckin' minutes thinking I'm all bad ass and shit, trying to do this assignment and all along I was doing it wrong. Oh well, I really shouldnt be cussing. I find this rather relaxing in a way. I'm feeling lazy the last couple of days have been very draggy. So right now I'm thinking that I'm a fat, short girl with a high self esteem is that possible? Anyway right now I'm feeling let me think of what I am feeling. I'm feeling exited because I get to go home this weekend. I get to see my boyfriend and family. I was just noticing that I worded that differently. Wrong it's family and boyfriend. I havent been home in a while, so it will be great to eat some home cooked food. So do you get some freaked out nutcases in these assignment? I meant to put an 's' but I was too lazy to go back. Yesterday I killed my roommate and her soul will be back to haunt me as I sleep. She was a weird little bitch anyway. I got the kitchen knife and stuck it in her head. I didn't like her head anyway. It was weirdish. And of coarse I'm just joking. I am a pathological, no compulsive liar. Right now I hate my stomach it sucks because it is so damn huge. You see Im pregnant and it gets in the way sometimes, all the time. That is why I have not been home in such a long time. My dad would strangle me. Yeah so my boyfriend and I had a fling  one night, an unprotected fling and this is how I got in trouble. He then left me because he couldnt handle the publicity, it would be bead for him. seeing as how he's a politician and all his wife would freak, so I got myself a new boyfriend and now he believes that the baby is his. Men are so dumb!!!!!!!! My roommate is always forgetting shit, it's fuckin' annoying the hell out of me I mean you can't carry a fuckin' convo. with the girl I wish   could kick her ass right here in front of all these ugly people. They can't stop me I'm mega bitch. She wants to go into mass comm. This is my message to her "GOOD fuckin' luck!!!!!!!!" oh well, Im calm now. well, I was going to go on but it has been twenty minutes . Yes   type very very slow.
I'm thinking I don't know what to write This popsicle tastes good, I'm really bored, my roommate is gone I'm sitting here in a stupor, not really thinking about anything I'm thinking I miss my girlfriend and I should probably    call her when I am done with this the popsicle tastes good. I hear the  bass from the stereo of person in the room next to me and I think it's  kind of annoying. Tonight is going to be fun, I am looking forward to that, this popsicle is really good. I think I need to clean my room, it's really messy. I need to throw out the food wrappers, put my clothes away, that persons stereo is really annoying, I hear loud voices in the hall, I wonder who they are, it sounds like a cute girl, I need to put my papers and  homework away. I am going to get another popsicle. It tastes good too. I wonder if a m doing this assignment correctly. I am looking around my room for things to think about, but nothing really sparks any interest. I'm really bored. I think I will turn the radio on. Never mind, I think that that might interfere with my stream of consciousness. I hear one of my friends voices outside talking about the start of intramural football with somebody. I can't wait for that to start, but I am upset that I have to play coed instead of men's. This other popsicle is really good too. I feel papers in my pocket and I take them out, its my bank statements. That makes me upset because I see all the things I wasted my money on. I throw them on the floor. I'm thinking  that my time is a little over halfway done, and that makes me feel good because I am looking forward to stop typing this. When I am done I think I will take a shower, and then maybe, I'm thinking about something interesting I can do after that, I'm playing racquetball at 5 so something in between that. I don't know, maybe I can figure something out when my roommate comes back. I'm hungry. Now I'm eating chips. I'm laughing because I'm thinking if you actually read this one you will think I have an obsession with food, which I kind of do but that's just because I am hungry all the time. I really like the chips. I'm kind of sleepy too,  maybe I'll take a nap. I was thinking about typing and how I am good at it and that made me think about my grandpa for some reason because he looks really silly when he types and that made me miss him because I haven't seen him in over a year. Maybe I will call him this weekend   I love chips and salsa, it's damn good. My roommate is going to be pissed because I am eating them all without him. It doesn't matter though because I am really hungry. 2 minutes left I can't wait till this is over, its been interesting but I want to do other stuff. I'm excited though because this counts as a grade and this will be a good start for psychology class. I really like these chips. Well times up and now I'm really happy because I'm done.
I notice that my mind always wonders off to the things in my life that I wish were better. I tend to think about the differences between what I should be doing in my life right now, and what I am doing. I also find that one person in particular continues to pop into my head, a girl no less, one that I knew about a year ago, only for a brief period of time, but I miss her every day. I also have thoughts of longing to be back home, with my mom and my dogs. I miss high school. I built up a large list of friends over a span of twelve years, and now all of a sudden I'm starting from scratch again. Like kindergarten in a way. I also feel the pressure of my mouting homework that continues to pile up, atop of which sits two gigantic architecture projects, both of which are do in a shorter amount of time then I am capable of finishing them in. Life is getting harder. Being a kid was so easy. I want to be a rock star. the path was set, my band was doing great, writing songs, about to cut our first albm, when college ripped us apart. Nothing makes sense anymore. Take me home.
Right now my mind is confused because I'm not sure what exactly I am suppose to be writing. I think the more I write, the more information flows into my mind. For example, write now I just thought about how sunburned I am, and I wonder if I am going to peal. I'm also thinking about what I'm going to do tonight. I'm so tired, but I don't want to miss a night out with my friends. Seeing how I'm at my home in Tyler, I feel that I should spend as much time as I can with the people I don't see everyday. It is my first time to come home from college and I'm begining to understand what say about it being so stressful. There is just so much to do and not nearly enough time to do it in. I constantly think of all the homework and reading I should be doing in all my spare moments, but it's just so hard to concentrate when there is so much to do. I just found out that tTexas won today. I'm mad I missed the game-I bet it was so exciting. I hope this whole thing doesn't sound too dumb, although I'm sure it does. I wonder what everyone else has written on this assignment. I'm not a very deep person, but I have a feeling that this class will help me learn some things about myself and what I DO think about. There is so much going on in my head that it's hard to pick out every single thought. Well, I just looked down and my time is up. hope this has been interesting to read!!