Coming to UT has to be one of the best choices I have made. Living in dobie has to be one of the worst. I wish I would have stayed at one of the honors dorms because the people seem so much more sociable. It seems that this place is extremely cliquish and such. My roommate is cool, although he seems to already have a group of friends here and isn't at all interested in making new ones. I'm a very social person. I have to be in contact with people all of the time or I get severely lonely. I don't like to feel cut off. I wouldn't even stay at my dorm the first night because I didn't have the internet or my cable connected. It is odd how we feel like television, internet, and phones make us feel so connected. I would die now without the internet. I love being able to chat with all of my friends about how they are doing in college. It is so odd being here at UT with so many students from big schools. I'm from such a small school I feel like I don't fit in or I don't know enough. It is odd how being from a small school can make you feel so inadequate at times. I feel like the others have some greater advantage than me. Being at such a big university is such a big advantage. That is why I chose to come here. I really love how much a university this size has to offer. I mean look how awesome the stadium is and the the academic programs. The theater is wonderful and who can top gregory gym?  It is so awesome to be surrounded by so much, but it is also so odd to feel so lonely sometimes. There is so much to do, but not always someone to do it with. I have one friend here with me from school. She is so much more than a friend. She means everything to me but she has hurt me so badly. I don't know if it is possible to overlook what she did to me last october. I can't tell if I could possible love her more than anyone else I'll even incounter, but it really seems possible. How else could you forgive someone so easily for hurting you so bad. She wants to be everything to me and all she wants is for me to say the same. But it is hard to base my life around someone that has thrown my life off balance once. She is such a good person and all she needs is someone to really love her and I really do love her a lot. I hope I can put the past behind us. We are so perfect ogether. We love similar things, yet we are really different. She loves art, I love art. She loves music, I love music. We are passionate about many of the same things. The sexual relationship is so nice too. I like feeling so hot and passionate. Sex is kinda a thing in a relationship that is sybolic of acceptence to me. I mean when I bare myself to someone else it makes me feel good. I feel like we are really together. I've never even been with another girl. I feel like I am so unexperienced but it doesn't matter I guess. If you find someone you are willing to stay with why does it matter how many people you have sex with. I guess it is just society that tells us that we should have many sexual partners before marriage. That is so different from what the church teaches. I really don't agree with much of what the church say about sexual represion and not going with basic instincts or enjoying ones self. I kinda am a member of my own sect of religion. I think that there has to be some supreme authority but how am I supposed to believe that man can concieve this preterhuman figure. It doesn't seem like man should be able to explain the creator and so why try. I think that mans purpose it to better himself and the generation following him.