this is my first writing assignment. I'm watching cosby on tv. I have a headache. I've had a headache most of today. I woke up and was still dead tired even after 8 hours of sleep. I had a stomach ache and felt like I was going to be sick. I had a headache and didn't feel like doing anything. so I got back in bed for a little bit. then went over to the san jac food place for some oj. that worked out pretty good I think for breakfast. I think from now on on mwf I'll just go to san jac for some oj and walk to calculus. that class is going pretty good. I was supposed to have a study group tonight but I called everyone and nobody could go. so that was kinda stupid since even the girl who set it up couldn't make it. but I don't really need it. I think I'll be doing more teaching than learning in that study group. I had calculus in high school but got a 3 on the AP test so I'll take calculus over again and learn the stuff better since I'm an ee major and will really need to know the stuff. I was thinking about switching majors to psych cause I really enjoyed everything I learned in high school when I took it. I don't know if I'll switch over though yet. I'm liking me ee302 and 306 classes so we'll just see where the year goes. all day I've felt like crap and I miss my best friend mariko so much. especially today since I've felt bad. she always makes me feel better. it's really tough being here at college 2 1/2 hours away from her and only being able to see her every couple of weeks. I'd come home every weekend if I had my car up here but my mom didn't let me bring my car up this year. I'd pay for the parking permit and everything but she said it's not part of the college experience. I don't care about the experience. I'm here to learn and I do that during the week. I do all my homework when I need to during the week and then nothing on the weekends. so why can't I come home and spend my time with the one person I want to spend time with. well I know people here that have offered me rides so I can get a ride home every couple weeks to see mariko. my mom was mad this past weekend cause I spent most of my time with mariko. and my mom said she didn't bring me home just to hang out with her. well from now on I'll get rides home from other people so I can spend my time with who I want since my mom won't be wasting her time driving and getting me. I feel bad for thinking that, but that's just how I feel. I love my mom and everything, but I'm not really close to her at all, and I've been introduced to religion through mariko and mariko has always made me feel better no matter what and she is always helped me through anything. and I am completely comfortable around mariko and feel completely at ease. I'm so close to mariko and I love her so much and it's just hard being away from her. she goes to japan every summer with her family. I've been thinking about going next summer. I'd have to talk with her parents about that though. but that would cost me about 1000 dollars for the ticket and I'd have to stay with mariko's family in japan otherwise I wouldn't be able to afford a hotel for a month. so that would cost me a ton of money, and then I've been thinking about going on a mission for the church also. I really want to go. my mom's really against the religion I've joined. she is just heard too many things that aren't true. and I hate how she feels. but through religion I've learned how to deal with all these feelings and I'm comforted now and I forgive my mom for how she feels because she just doesn't know any better. I'm kind of tired and I still have a headache. I want something to drink. the vending machines at the building were all sold out last time I checked, and right now I don't want to walk back down there 2 floors to find out. I don't' feel like a sprite either, I could go down to san jac again. I think they're closed though. my shoulders have been hurting lately. my neck really hurts too. my neck just started today. but my shoulders have been hurting for a while. usually after sitting in a class after an hour. I need to move around more or something I guess. my hands are freezing cold. there's no thermostat in my room so it's always freezing. and coming in from a hot day it feels good but waking up in the morning it is freezing cold and I can't stand it. I put up another bulletin board over my bed and some push lights on the ceiling over my bed. one of the push lights came off last night or the other night and I put it up again so hopefully it all stays up. there were already some damages to the ceiling so I guess I won't be charged for anything. the sticky things that aren't supposed to mess up walls messed up the ceiling some. but I don't think it matters. oh well. I have some pictures of mariko up on my bulletin boards around the rooms. some on the bulletin board over my bed. I like waking up with pictures of mariko right there. I miss her so much. I hope she had a good day today. last night she didn't seem to be talking too much but she was doing a lot of homework. I don't know. sometimes she just goes through phases. I wish I could help her more but there's not much I can do. she just needs to learn to love herself and know that she is a good person and that she is loved. sometimes it just gets tough for her. and that's a whole other reason I want to be home still. so I can be there with her physically to help her feel better when she is down. we still talk online all the time and I call sometimes. it's hard to find times to call though. either she will have band till 530 or church or school during the day and then I have classes at certain times so I can't just leave and call her. but I'm going to try and find a couple times a week to call. tomorrow's thursday already so I don't think I'll get a couple calls in this week. I'll call on the weekend though since I won't be going home this weekend. hopefully I meet some people at church this weekend and at the friday lunch and speaker thing at the institute. I seem to be the youngest person there. and I'm already not a talkative person, so I think it's going to be kinda hard to meet people. oh well. 10 seconds left for this thing. hopefully the rest of the year goes well.