I'm here in the computer lab doing this assignment and wondering how in the world are they going to get any information out of what I write. I think there is so much out there that we can't understand and this is one of them. last night I had a weird dream well no it wasn't last night it was the night before I was in a school but I don't recall which on and then someone shot me! yet no one cared. I was all alone and then my family shows up and they seem interested for a while and then they forget about the situation and wonder around without taking me in to and emergency room. I thought it was weird but then again I later on had another dream I don't remember what it was right now but I know that I had to do with lack of attention. I figure these dreams are happening because I'm far away from home and I don't receive the same attention, its just a matter of adapting to different environments. its weird how I'm here in the lab and everyone is in there own little world for instance the girl next to me  seem s to be having problems with the computer yet she never asks for help, why? and then there's a girl in front all into her study or research I don't know what she is doing and she looks so interested. I really don't know what else to write I mean those things came to the top of my mind once I started writing but now I don't know. I really hope arturo writes to me this coming week I mean he is in the army and I'm really scared for him specially since his last letter where he told me they were going to send him to iraq. that sucks because I got attached to him. specially at prom the night was so perfect everything was going great until it was time to leave to our houses. I mean why can't I find a guy who's like him I mean he is great he is sensitive, sweet, crazy, funny I don't know I could go on but why can't I find someone? he would be perfect but he is too slim we look like a 10 when were next to each other not that I'm fat but I'm fatter than he is. if he could only gain lets say maybe 25 pounds he would be dream guy material. ericka is changing a lot I don't know what her problem is I think it all turns out to be that she has no goal in life. she knows she wants to be a doctor because that's what everyone tells her but she doesn't really now what it is she want to do with the rest of her life. she is a lost child, all she cares for is FUN I mean its important to have fun but everyday? that's just not right. what does she want to have a boyfriend for only for sex? she is always talking about some other guy and this and that and what does she expects from this guy . she changed so much we use to be close friends but now since she is in mexico and has been there for the last year and will be there for the rest of her education I don't even know if I can still call her a friend. it really bothers me how I can get so excited for her when things are going good yet she doesn't care if I'm sad, mad , happy if I need to be hear . its all about her and just having fun talking to people when they're happy and be talking dirty and things of that matter? why!? I don't know if she is always been like that just that I hadn't noticed or she is just changed. her friends over there have great influence on her and I personally dislike them I don't think they will ever do anything with there life's because they're simply not able to work for their money they're so use to asking their dad for money. they don't appreciate the value of hard work or the having a do go to school because eventually that will put food on the table for your children. they are just plain stupid thinking their father will always be around to give them what they want. and now  ericka has become just like them and I hate that. this writing helps out . I've always thought this but not a soul new about it and now God knows who is reading this and wondering what the hell is she complaining about. or oh well . I don't know I just had to say it . and now I'm waiting for the 20 minutes to be over using up the rests of the seconds that . oh well they're over.