adrian is rather BORING to talk to. I called him first and he didn't even seem the least bit surprised or even thankful. nice. "oh abby. you're so BEEEYOOOTIFUUUL and so PPEEEERRRRRFECT!!" I bet he likes the attention he gets from imbuing someone adoration. maybe that's the exact reason why I'm attracted to him. I'm attracted to the fact that I'm attracted. isn't that completely vain?? and shallow too. I am ashamed. maybe I can't control it. it just doesn't happen everyday that someone at least pretends to like you for such exaggeratingly good qualities. I feel bored. I do not want to read 50 pages of some stuff I can't concentrate on while listening to the TV. even if its TV stuff that I don't want to hear. I'm listeninng to music. finger 11. not anymore. I miss caleb, jacob, pinky, ed, michelle, michael, mom, dad, janie, cesar, cynthia, everything is SO DIFFERENT from just only 5 years ago. we all used to be so close together. geographically and familiarly. I think this assignment is cool. all our writing assignments should be like this. the experiment I participated in last week was really boring. I thought it would involve something interesting like tasting some product or doing something physical like a handstand and see how gravity affects blowflow to certain body parts. THAT would be a cool experiment. it could help those poor astronauts and their whatever space effects. HUH!! they should be helping poor homeless people off the streets. its got to be somehting psychological about that because I mean. people could work if there's nothing physical impeding them. Hten it must be mental or emotional or ptsd. my cousin, michelle, said I almost gave her ptsd. post traumatic something disorder. I thought that was funny. I wish I had an awesome sense of humor to make people and myself laugh all the time. all I can do is act like my stupid self and that makes people laugh because I'm so naive or ignorant and oblivious to something. what kind of. ok. what REALLY FREAKIN bothers me about the Church's doctrine is the frenching thing. its been bothering me for a long time. probably longer than it should. man, not EVERYONE goes straight to copulation after they french. yeah, it may arouse the man. or woman, but not really. surely not. I don't see WHY we can't until we're married. its showing AFFECTION. gets to know the other a bit more I guess. I don't understand. no comprendo!!! I  like my immortal by evanescence. evanescence is a COOL name. its a sad song though. I wish I could just not have ANY expectation about guys liking me so when one finally does, finally LOVES me, then I'll be surprised and it'll really reallly realllllly count. I get so Disatisfied. I want to go to rome, paris, england, switzerland, russia, romania, I want to speak all their languages!!!!! but look here. there's no FUNDING no TIME for learning all of them. I wish I could feel the ever "playful Presence" like in Dean Koontz's book "One Door Away From Heaven. " AWESOME BOOK. I've got to do chemistry and finish my calculus. CALCULUS IS FUUUUUUN!!!! the ta is cool but I DO NOT know what he tries to say when he teaches!!!!! he would've been a REALLLLLLY CUUUUUUUUTE guy if he wasn't gay. tooooo baaaad. I do not agree with homosexuality. takes away from the beauty, sanity, naturality, rightness, sanctity of humanity and the world. I ain't never lookin back, and that's a fact. I've got pride I'm taking it for a ride. I liketat song. I like tiers, I'd like a really tiny tier for a pet. that'd be soooooooo fun and not to mention cooooool. dr. moreau should have created mini-creatures for the future. my time is almost up. htis was a cool assignment. I had a cup of noodle soup. I'm really full. I feel like I don't have to eat for 3 days. maybe I should try that. see if I'm a SURVIVOR. I don't think I'd DIE from that 3 day fast. people stay around for longer without food. I wish they didn't have to.