Well, today was a bad day. Not bad in the sense that negative things happened, it just wasn't good. I talked to Maggie, the girl I really like, and it turns out she doesn't feel the same way. Earlier in the week (I hope Lori isn't reading this) I had another girl come out and tell me she had feelings for me. I hope Maggie doesn't view me as I view the girl. She is nice, but I feel awkward. I don't know how to act or respond sometimes. Am I sending the wrong signal? Am I communicating poorly? Who knows? Certainly not me. So, that's that. Maggie Still really likes me as a friend, but nothing more. Kind of sucks. I wish I were more attractive. I think I got the bases covered on personality, just the physical appeal that is holding me back. I'm working at it. I am enrolled in intermediate racquetball and playing whenever I can. I'm up to two pullups. This is a big accomplishment. This summer, I started working out with my best Friend Thomas and then I could do any. Now two. I so excited. Thomas goes to A&M. He was supposed to come here, with me, but decided that "pep" and "spirit" was his thing. I'm cool with that I guess, I just wish I wasn't stuck with the "potluck". Will, my roommate is all right and all, I just wish I could open up a little more than I do. He doesn't "get me" like another one of my good friends would. My best friend from high school, Greg Wayne, will be coming up this weekend. I can't wait. I miss just hanging out with the crew. I like college and all, and I'm making the transition fine, I just miss the good ole days. I am coming to terms so much better than some I know. Katie, the one who came forward to me about her feelings, is having a really ruff time. Apparently, whenever she tries to talk to her mom about it they get in a fight. So instead, the just avoids confrontation all together. Not a very wise approach if you ask me; and she did, and I told her. I like meeting new people. Katie apparently doesn't. It's out of her comfort zone. Actually, that's how I met Maggie. She's so awesome. She into anime just like me, she draws, she's tall, and she just all around cool. Sadly, she does not share this sentiment to the extent of which I put forth. She thinks I'm hilarious and a great guy to hang out with, but she just doesn't like me like that. I should go on, get over her and whatnot. I cant. I've tried. I like her way too much. I will eventually though, or that is what I've been told by the ones I open up to here besides Maggie. Vivian is a great friend. She thought that I liked her at first, but then I started opening up to her about Maggie and she understood. She rooms with Martha, whom I met at orientation. She had a thing for me too. I don't know, when I like them, I get turned down and away, but when I just think they are cool, I get asked out. Why can't things go my? Be different, somehow? This can't be fair. I try so hard to get what I want. It never just comes to me. Like now, in engineering, I have decided that I don't like engineering, but I'm stuck there for at least the semester. I enjoy PSY301 with Pennebaker. He's a character and the subject matter interests me. I would consider psych as a major, but that is my brothers field and I'm already too into his shadow. Oh well. We will see how things turn out. They usually do. For the better, or worse. what's the difference? I don't know. Could I even tell? If I follow that principle things would turn out regardless. good, or bad. Who cares? Well, I do. The future is uncertain and that is why it's scary. Whether or not this is actually read or just run through an analyzer, it has been a good place to vent. I look forward to the next installment in this tedious tale of love, trust, faith, and social bearings. Until the next time. =)