I'm tired, I just cleaned our apartment and now I'm tired. But I feel satisfied that I cleaned the whole place. My roommate is extremely messy and is hard to live with at times but I've known her for 15 years and I love her to death. Now my mind is being tracked to when we met at the baseball field when pur older brothers were at practice. Evan, my brother is now is Africa and I miss him a lot I think it hits me in waves. I wonder what it's like there, hot and rainy I suppose but I wonder if he misses us as much as we miss him. I think he probably does he just doesn't hank about it as much as we do. My boyfriend lives in College Station and I miss him too. It feels silly at times though to have this person you love and car about so much to have them so far form you let you still can keep close. Technology is incredible. I'm able to talk to Evan once a month. He's in Africa for goodness sake that's an ocean away. I talk to Michael every day usually more then once. Now I'm getting hot, and I'm so thank ful the ac just flipped on. I find it hard to believe people were ever comfortable without the air conditioning. This summer at the camp I worked at we didn't have an ac in the cabin and I got used to it. I fact I would get cold when I was in the ac. But still the comfort of it is much better than without. I miss camp I miss my campers. It's the one place that I really feel at home way from home, I am so confident there. not that I'm not here I just have been there for ten years and have grown up there. All my best friends are there. Of course I have other good friends but there just f=something about living with someone for three months that gives you a new look at them . They learn your morning routine and you there's it  comfort thing because someone else knows you so well that they know how you wake very morning. I miss those guys. And it's not like I can't call them or even hang out with some but I don't. Isn't that strange that I love these people so much yet I don't call and hang out either them. Yes they call me and sometimes I don' t call them back because I'm nervous. Why?  I don't understand my strange want to be with people but my stronger want to be alone and watch TV and just do nothing. I need to start working out again, I t has been so long since I have I think I would have more of a desire to get up and go if I had more of a pep "I just worked out" kind of look on life. I really love Lance Armstrong. He had inspired so man people to get in shape and be healthy and support the fight against cancer that you just have to respect that. I also respect him because he had the same cancer my daddy beat. That was an awful time in my life. Freshman year found out that my dad has cancer. He's fine now but wow that scared me he wouldn't be here for so many things that he has seen it's incredible. Medicine is absolutely incredible. It makes me appreciate everything he does a lot more. Funny how even when he was going through all that awful stuff I was pretty unaware. My parents kinds kept us in the dark. Not like I asked but we just didn't talk about it. I feel like I really don't know what happen to him during those months except that he got better and now he's doing great. I wonder if he still thinks about it everyday or if he's let that terrible memory flee from his mind. Wow he is one funny man, he can say anything and I'll laugh but I guess that's how it should be. He should be my hero. I wish every girl had a daddy like mine I think the world would be a make more relaxed kin of place. He always makes every tense situation funny and more laid back. My mom is the opposite and I wonder how hey have been together for 29 years when they are so opposite . But I know she loves him and I think he loves her. He does he just doesn't always shoe it in front of us but I'm sure he does to her. He'll do really sweet stuff like on Valentines Day. I think she just needs to relaxes a bit and realize that not every situation needs to blown out of proportion. Wow that was really neat.