ahs10/essays-big5 huggingface dataset:
I can't believe that I missed my first class this morning. I don't know what happened. Maybe my roommate turned off my alarm early and didn't tell me. But I don't think so, because he's a good guy and he wouldn't do that. I hope there wasn't a quiz in kinesiology today. That would just be my luck. The one time I miss it, there was a quiz. Man this sucks not having books, I'm getting so far behind in all my classes reading. It's going to be hard to catch up. There are some many people in all my classes it's ridiculous. You know what else is ridiculous, not having books. Why can't I get into shape faster?  I know it takes time, but I've been running for 3 weeks and I don't see  much of an improvement. If I am going to walk on the cross country team here I need to be faster than I was in high school. My old high school team mates are not doing so hot right now. The top runners are running about one minute and a half behind what we were running last year. I was running 16:26 for a 5K, but these guys are running like 17:40 for a 5K. They are going to have a lot of time to make up if they are going to be competitive in one of the toughest districts in the state, second to only the woodlands district. God, I hate the woodlands, and cedar park, and Georgetown. I wish I hadn't injured myself during track season, cause I had to take 3 months off the heal. And three months with no running killed me. I gained like 20 pounds during the summer session here at UT. But summer school was so much fun. I met lots of cool guys like Kevin, rahim, and Justin. And a lot of girls. Actually too many girls to count, but out of all those girls, I don't think any of them found me attractive at all. And when ever some girl approaches me at a party, some one will swoop in take her. Some one like Kevin or rahim. I'm still mad for what Kevin did. I can't believe that he "made out" with my best friend and the girl that I love so much. That just sucked. I felt like some one had ripped out my heart and then run it over with several big rigs, then dropped it off a high building, then feed it to piranhas in the Amazon rain forest. But I know Kevin didn't do that one purpose, or did he?  But I had a long talk with both Heather and Kevin, and we're cool. Oh and Heather is coming to visit this weekend!  I am so excited! I haven't seen her since before school started like 4 weeks ago. I'm disappointed because she was supposed to come to UT but she didn't get into articture school so she had to go to atm, but she is going to transfer her in a year. I hope. I have to plan a fun weekend with stuff for us to do, so she and I can have a good time again. But what do I do?  I have to work part of sat and sun, but we still can have fun Friday and then after I get off work. I just want her to be happy, if its not with me then so be it. But I will marry her, I will marry her, because I love her so much and she is my best friend. I hope she feels the same way. I don't know what to do, cause I don't want to mess up our perfect friendship, oh well. We will have to see what unfolds.
The first thing that comes to mind is that when I do these things I don't know what to write. I just sit trying to think of things to write. This to me is like one of those awkward situations like when you are with someone you don't know and have to make small talk. This is like tring to think of something to say to that person the only thing is, is that your the only person here trying to think of something to say to the computer. Another thought popped into my head and that is that I don't know what to do in my speech class. I have to give an interview to someone and be interviewed by someone and I have no idea on what I want to do with that. I had an idea and the professor was going down the list of names asking us what we were going to do ours on and I had an idea and the girl before me took my idea so now I am left here with no thoughts on what to do in this situation. I will just have to go on and think of something else to do on this project, athough I am not to really worried about it. I wonder if while doing this writing experiment that the reader ever takes into consideration that some people might have periods where they just don't think about basicly anything. That they are just in a daze where no clear thought comes into their mind and they have absolutely nothing to talk about. I was just wandering. Now a song that I hate has just come on that I heard for the first time while I was visiting for the first time that part the family that you don't talk about because they are imberasing. I don't think I spelled that word right, but anyway it was in Arkansas and I don't plan on ever going back there again. Now another song I hate has come on but I am in a delimma because of this contineous writing thing I can move my fingers to change the station. I now looked up at the clock seeing that I only have three minutes left and this is not as hard as I thought it was going to be, but my essay has been pretty boring because I am tired and had nothing to talk about. The reason I am so tired is because I have an eighto o' clock clase everyday and it really, really sucks. Well, I only have 2 seconds left and actually I would like to talk for a longer period of time but I guess I will talk to myself on paper where you can read at a later time, bye.
my room mate is listening to wierd music again. I have never heard of all these canadian bands. I really want to go to sleep. That would be so great right now. I can't wait to go home soon for the weekend. I would love to see my family soon since they are so fun. I really need a hair cut. I have split ends. There is a girl in our hall learning to play some sort of trumpet. She really sucks and I just wish she would give it up or practice somewhere else. I can't believe I have only been typing for 3 minute!  I really want to paint my dorm room. White is such a boring color. My suite mates got a beta fish this weekend. its a really pretty color. Better that the white of our room. I really want to sleep. looking at my bed makes me want to sleep. I can't even keep my eyes open any long. I have the longest, skinniest fingers in the world. I am also really not liking the fact that I have to read some much more in all my classes. I have 2 really cute cats at home. They are so fun to play with and cuddle. I really wish pets were allowed in dorms. I would so bring them up and then everyone in the hall would get to see them. I ran over my phone minutes again this month. I seem to talk on it a lot more that I realize. I am going to get a brain tumor by the age of 30. I really like the fact that I have gotten lots of mail since being here. All my friends have sent me mail. I got some today! Mail is fun. I feel bad though cause all my room mate gets is bank statements. sucks for her. Lots of people I know are in Psychology. They are all going to do this assignment too. I really can't spell well. Sorry if you are reading this. Well I think nothing really sticks to the walls in this dorm. I tried to hang curtains last weekend with this hook that was supposed to stick to anything and hold 20 lbs. But all it did was all and pull off a huge chunk of the wall paint. I can't get my pinata to hang from the ceiling either. I wander if anyone has been able to get stuff to stick?  I will have to ask around. I am the world smallest stapler on my desk. It was part of a dorm set I got for graduation. My friend who goes to A&M gave it to me. I wonder what she is doing. I am going to call her when I am done with this. But I am over my minute, that is ok. I think my suite mate is doing the pretesting experiment. She is enjoying it too. I asked. I am going to learn to play tennis. My room mate is done playing her canadian music, but is not from Canada. She is from plano os that is kinda odd. How did she ever hear about this music. I think I will get a beta fish too. They look fun and it would be something different to add to my room. But then I don't really like cleaning stuff so maybe not. I am so tired and my head really hurts. I need so aspirin. I need to exercise too. I ate too much for dinner. I like what I ate though. I got a catered dinner for free. What could be better- a nap. I wonder what my friends are doing. I got really good tickets to the football game- need to thank Steven. Its dark out. That is a huge tree
I have no idea how to start this, so I'm just going to start typing and discover what happens!. I just got off the phone with my boyfriend, Keil. I miss him a lot, a whole lot. We've just been going out for 8 months last Saturday, but it feels like we've been together forever. I can't imagine my life right now without him. He still lives at home, near Houston, and I don't get to see him as often as I would like, but if it's meant to be it will be. It will be hard, definitely, but it should be worth it. He tells me all the time how he loves me, and how he will marry me. He even asked me last week, well not officially, but he did ask me what I would say if he asked me to marry him right then. I had no clue what to say I was really confused. I'm so unsure of what to do. I miss him so much it's unbelievable. Sometimes I wish I had stayed home to go to college because it's going to be so hard for the next 4 years, maybe 5. All of my friends love him and his friends love me, it's almost too perfect, if that is possible. His parents are my parents and his brother and I have become very close and get along great. I can imagine having them as inlaws. I was always brought up knowing that you never get along with your inlaws, but I don't see how that could happen. This weekend my roommate and I are going home. We've grown up together. I've known her since the second grade and we've been close friends since seventh. I'm glad that I know her. I don't see how people can come to a place like this and get a roommate they've never met before. That would have added a lot of stress to my life. Not like I don't already have enough stress. Actually, college hasn't been as stressful as I imagined it to be. However, I'm sure that will all change as soon as we start having exams and finals. ugh. I'm not looking forward to that! I've always been the kind of person to put more stress in my life than is needed. A couple of my friends pick on me saying I "freak out too easily". But it doesn't feel like it to me. I don't know, maybe they're right! I was raised an only child, until recently. My mother and biological father divorced when I was four and my mom remarried the man I call dad when I was six. My stepfather has 2 sons and one daughter (who is my age). But, they never lived with us they would spend the occasional weekend at our house but not very often was it longer than a weekend. My entire life changed about 2 months ago when my stepbrother Trey moved in. He took over my life. It was crazy. Suddenly he had all of the attention. I know I sound like a jealous brat, but really he did. Not even just from my parents, suddenly he was my boyfriend's best friend. I could not get away from him. I have worked for my dad's company for 3 years, and then all of a sudden he started working there too. My entire life changed in the past 2 months. I gained a brother, left home for college, lost some friends by leaving, gained some friends by coming, and I am now living a totally different lifestyle.
Wow, I'm pretty tired right now it's been a heck of a weekend. staying up for Diana's funeral was pointless, but nevertheless interesting. I wonder if I'll have that kind of burial when I die. I think my grandfather  should at least had a funeral twice that size. he was the second greatest man to ever walk on this earth besides Jesus Christ himself. I'm listening to the live dcTalk album right now and it rocks. There is no group of celebrities that I admire more than them. Their music has meaning. It isn't just the meaningless stuff about drugs, shooting somebody up, or scoring with someone. It is stuff that is relevant to our world and to our generation, not to mention it is the best musically sounding stuff out there. I wish more people knew about them. I know they would agree with me. the game this weekend surpassed my expectations. At first I thought it was going to be lame 'cause the crowd was soo dead, but as soon as we scored the crowd went wild and the atmosphere from then on was electric. UCLA will be a very tuff game next weekend. My parents are coming up for the game. Surprisingly I don't miss them all that much, although  I do care about them a bunch. Maybe it's just because I'm soo busy with school I really hope that my edp paper is not that hard because I lack the motivation. I really wish my acne would go away. I believe life would be soo much better if it were gone. The confidence and social skills would be so easy and fun. I wouldn't be soo much of a hermit. I hope I can get my hair to grow out to the right length and get it colored they way I want to. I also hope that I can acquire the presence I am seeking as far as my appearance goes. It would really be awesome if we won a national championship this year and Ricky Williams won a Heisman Trophy or even James Brown( by the way I hope he is okay). Richard Walton did a great job backing up and filling in. Gee I hope I make it to class on time and I really hope my future girlfriend is there to ask me out.
I'm stressed out about my Calculus class I don't know if I'm going to be able to finish all the homework and be able to get an A in the class. I really want to make an A because that would increase my prospects at getting a good first job, of course that would only be good for a first job. I really don't like my job at HEB it is really annoying, all people seem to be in a bad mood all the time and I don't find it that enjoyable. If I were somehow rewarded with more money I think it might be managable however, because I can't seem to get a raise out of them I'm going to look for another job. I hope my typing doesn't wake up my roomate my girlfriend is really distressed about our relationship I guess I'll have to write her an e-mail and make things better between us. How I would describe love right now, I've always thought that you had different degrees of love throughout your life, I would say that I love her however. i really hope my roommate is a deeper sleeper than I think he is because I know I would be annoyed if he were typing where I could hear it. Tommorrow I have to go get my Economics book in the morning and read part of that, college seems so stressful, I don't know if I'm going to be able to budget my time. The bookstores rip you off you pay all that money for books and then they buy them back cheaply and then sell them for the same price that you bought them for. That might be a good way to make some money buy opening a bookstore. My dad was telling me how having a low overhead would produce a lot of profits for something on the internet. I had better be quiet so my roomate doesn't hear me, but the noises in the hall are louder but not constent. He has too wake up at 7:00 in the morning to go to class. I don't know how well we are getting along, I guess he is an ok roommate but I wanted him to be a little more outgoing. I guess I'm going to have to meet people on my own which I'm not all that good at but I guess I'll have to try. I need to find out what my rights are in this room and if I'm able to type till just 12:00 or if I can type and make noise till one. I'm willing to try and make it as comfortable for him as I can because I want to fit in with him, but I don't know if I should draw any lines or not. I have all this homework and I don't know what to do about my time management. He just got up was it my fault or did he get up on his own, I don't want to intrude on his space but where does mine come in. I really like my computer it has everything I want it to have, but the company I ordered my graphics card for went out of business where am I going to get another graphics card. I wonder what else I'm going to have to do for homework, I hope it will be easy. I want to graduate early but can I do it or am I going to have to go all four years, if I graduate early I might have some money left for a car, I would really like a corvette but the insurance on them is so expensive especially until I'm 25. I don't know if I can handle doing all this stuff and do my homework as well, with my girlfriend and friends and still have time to work on the weekends time is suck a valuable asset. what else do I have to do.
So today has completed a very odd and trying week. I have finally gotten to sit in on a full week of school and WOW!!! I seem to find myself asking, have I over done myself? I am taking 15 hours of scool and working 30-35 hours a week and on top of all this I got TWO kittens that require a lot of attention. This, for me, seems like a heavy load because between school and work I have to make sure I am home every three to four hours in order to feed the kittens, but I love them. My roommates seem to have a qiute different approach and feel like I am way out of line and that my life is too busy to begin with to have two little lives depending on me, but what do they know? I am not trying to say I don't take their words into consideration but I believe life is what you make of it and one lives and he/she learns. This is a test for me that I hope I don't fail at but all I keep telling myself is that I must work harder if am am going to succeed( but not too hard=). I am also in the midst of wondering if my mom is doing ok. She found out a month ago that she had 3rd grade ovarian cancer, which is the most advanced cancer cell, and yesterday she had surgery. The doctor said she should be alright but I still worry. I really have no reason to write all this personal information but it feels good to let it all out. All I can conclude is that I have been set a full plate that I now must eat. Besides all the drama I just mentioned I have finnaly declared my major as Child Development/ Pre-Med with a minor in psychology. THis is a huge burden taken off my shoulders which I am very thankful for. I know it will be A LOT of work but I love working with children, but now whether I follow all the way through with Pre- Med is a different story but I know eventually I will get through it and go to Med-School. For right now I need full day just to relax and enjoy myslef, with no one there and no kittens to wake me up every three hours of the night. Another thing I am upset about( which is very trivial) is ther fact that I could have gotten two tickets the the OU game and I passed up the opportunity. There goes a couple hundred dollars I coould have gotten off ebay. Oh well, that's the way life goes. By the way, my boyfriend of three years, Zack, Took me out to a five star resturant last weekend and it was amazing. We had 12 courses in 5 1/2 hours, boy where we full and a little toasty(2 bottles of champaign ahd 12 glasses of assorted wine later). The cool thing is that he works there and our bill was only $60 =). Anyhoot I enjoyed writting and I will see you next time, bye.
As I gaze at the screen I sit and wonder what is the meaning of friendship. This is my main thought at the moment. I've had rough relationships with friends. To me friends are the kindness that everyone needs. They are around when nothing seems right. They continually partake in your days' events. Friends give comfort that no other can give. No matter what the circumstances may be, a friend will always be there for you. Therefore a friend is always ready to lend a "helping hand". I guess friendship is a bond between two souls. A friendship is a promise to be "there" whenever possible and an understanding of one's feelings. A friend is the one who will help and support you in the pursuit of your dreams and who will only give to your thoughts. In a sense a friend is your shadow only with a mind and a heart. The greater is the heart. For a friend consoles us when in joy or agony. Anything that causes grief or hurt affects our friend. A friend has no materialistic need and can only be repaid with the same truth that is given to you. Friendship is a privilege and a great responsibility. As I write about friendship I think of my friends. One friend comes to mind. She is such a wonderful person. I love her because she accepts me for the way I am. For half my life I've learned to be scared but with her I know that it's okay to open up. So many things run through my mind that I don't even understand them. Thoughts of hate and confusion run about my mind all the time. It sometimes seems as if time just passes by and I can't stop to take a breath. People around me seem to talk but nothing is seen or heard from me. Sometimes I feel like all I do is live in other people's shadows. I feel that I wake up and I am really nobody.
Right now I am realli thinkingabout buying a soccerball so that I can starttraining because I really want to join a soccer team. I did not go to the gyn todayso I thing I'l go tomorrow. My CD of the soundtrack of Queen of the Damn is one of the best CD's I have ever heard. I need to get a laptop ecause everyday I have more and more homework like whatI am doing right now and my chemistry homework which I also have to do online. I do not knw why I feel so tired. I think its because I am having too much homework. I really do not like the hot weather. I prefer winter over any other season in the year only because I like the gloomy and quiet weather. I am already getting tired of writing and I think I am going to go to sleep early today so that tomrrow I can go to the Gym and still not be so tired as today so that I can do more homework. I really miss all my family. I am so used to a lot of noise and laughter since I have two brothers and two sisters. I miss playing with my baby sister who is only three years old. I want to finish this so that I can start playing my favorite game, "The king of fighters. " Oh I almost forgot I need to call my family because I told my dad I was going to call them yesterday but I didn't. I am hungry. I need to go to sleep. I realy do believe there exists other civilizations in our galaxy. I don't gethow so many people can go to church every sunday and even n otherdays of the week. I'm tired of sittinglike this. I need to get a chair or my back is going to start hurting. The lyrics from the CD "Jaguares" are so amazing. It really helps me to listen to these lyrics because they talk about different aspects of life and the mind. If I was to chance my major I would change it to Aerospace Enineering because  love everything that has to do with airplanes. I think I am.