Many parents are afraid of making their children mad. parents are afraid of making their children mad. I remember the first time one of mine stuck out his lip and said, " I don't love you anymore." My first thought was, " Boy, I don't ever want to be that hard on him again. " That's a lot of power to give a five-year-old, isn't it? A better response is to grit your teeth and bear the anger of your child, because it's better to make him frown than let him rush toward destruction. That frown won't last forever. Destruction, however, just might. Do you see how, from this perspective, discipline - even painful discipline - is actually an expression of love? It always seeks the child's best interest. A mature parent can withstand the anger of their child and say, " That's okay, you don't need to love me right now. You'll love me for it in a few years." It hurts temporarily, but to compromise your child's welfare from fear of losing his love will hurt a lot worse later on.

########## 2. The Means of Discipline: Actions &Words (v. 5).

In the Proverbs 3:11 passage that is quoted in Hebrews, two different Hebrew words are used: yasar (discipline), which involves God's actions; and yakach (rebuke), which refers to God's words. Hebrews 12:5 tells us not to make light of God's actions and not to lose heart at His words of rebuke. Yasar refers to disciplinary actions; yakach refers to corrective words. As parents, that's exactly how we are to discipline. Webring both words and actions, warnings and consequences, into our children's situations in order to keep them on track.

########## 3. The Motive In Discipline: To Express Love (vv. 6-9).

When juvenile delinquents, as part of a research study, were asked how they knew their parents' feelings toward them, almost all of them said that lack of discipline in their home was a sign that their parents didn't love them. Weoften think that we're expressing love when we repeatedly say, "I'll give you another chance." What we're really doing, though, is neglecting to set boundaries that let our children know they're in a safety zone where they can feel secure. One of the most powerful ways to love your child is to be consistent in your discipline. And that's really hard. We're inclined to do whatever we can to maintain a friendship with our kids, when discipline is actually much more important. When we start strong with discipline (for a few weeks), and then start to make compromises, kids pick up on that in an instant. Try listening to them sometime when they aren't aware that a parent can hear them. Their conversation often sounds something like this: " I got grounded last night." "Oh no. How long?" "They said two weeks, but it'll probably just be three or four days." Where did they get that idea? Children are diligent students of parental behavior . They usually know when they can get away with things.

########## 4. The Goal of Discipline: To Teach Obedience (v. 9 ).

When you teach your children godly submission, you're teaching them to do the right thing for the right reason. You want them to get beyond the point where they say "I've got to" and get them to the point of obeying out of love and trust. Their discipline will be primarily external in the beginning, but eventually it should become internal - so integrated into their personality that it's self-discipline rather than imposed discipline. The way you regulate how they speak and act toward other people needs to become a part of who they are so that when you remove the regulations, the behavior remains.