Joan Burstyn noted that the Jewish family is in many ways the embodiment of the holy tent of God where Jews encountered God during their desert wanderings. The purpose of marriage is to make sure Judaism continues; the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob is with their descendants/families all the time and this is experienced through the family unit. Joan’s family hid some memories and shared others. For instance, her mother’s family fled from Poland to England prior to the First World War. Her grandfather had at least one sister who had remained in Poland with whom he kept in contact for the next thirty years. However, once the Germans invaded Poland in 1939, he was never able to contact her or her family again. Yet this was never spoken about – perhaps to move on from tragedy or to protect against the “evil eye.” When Joan moved to the U.S.A. in 1958, she worked hard to fit in but she still carried her British culture with her. For instance, she was surprised that children in the U.S. were not expected to sit quietly with their parents in temple. A friend explained to her that it is most important that children have positive, comfortable experiences in temple and at home. Even if they rebel as teenagers, they will look to the example of their parents living out their Jewish faith and be drawn back as they mature. Boys and girls become full adult members of a Jewish congregation, usually at 13 and 12 respectively. While a ceremony is not needed to mark that change in status, a bar or bat mitzvah ceremony provides a unique opportunity for the young person build his/her confidence by teaching a scriptural lesson to adults. In some synagogues a moving part of the ceremony occurs when the sacred scroll is taken from the ark and literally passed down the generations from great grandparents to grandparents to parents to son or daughter. Divorce has always been accepted within Judaism. Among some branches today, remarriage after a civil divorce, without religious documentation, may be accepted. However, in addition, Orthodox Jews need a “get” (religious Jewish divorce document) if they are ever to remarry. While the man must initiate the religious Jewish divorce, his income can be sequestered until he gives his wife a “get” and support money. Judy Alderman was educated in Catholic schools in the post war period where the ideal family lived behind a “white picket fence”: stay-at-home mom, working dad, prayed together stayed together, did not get divorced. Her family was a “little bit out”: her parents were alcoholics who often fought, she was an only child which was rare, her mom worked and loved it, and her dad was Protestant her mom Catholic. Seeking the perfect family fantasy, she married at 19 and became a mother at 21; her marriage struggled. Judy stopped attending church after Vatican II changes left her feeling alienated, but later the Charismatic Revival pulled her back into the church. After a priest told her it was OK to divorce, she obtained a civil divorce but still felt she “wasn’t good enough” in the church. In the Catholic Church you must officially annul the marriage sacrament in order to remarry in the faith or receive communion; Judy did get a church annulment. While going through therapy she became a Protestant and eventually a Methodist minister. When her subsequent nine year marriage to a United Church of Christ minister ended in divorce, Judy was afraid to tell her congregation for fear of losing her job. Her church, however, proved to be very supportive. Judy shared that the Methodist Church operates under Social Principles (opinions) and Book of Discipline (rules). She shared some of the principles regarding families among them: families are the basic human community, there are a wide range of family options beside the nuclear family, marriage is sanctified but divorce allowed if marriage is broken, people can remarry, same sex marriage is not allowed.