Speechless (8.9.15) 3

- was taking his children from California, where they lived, to Minnesota where her parents lived. Talk about hit so hard you cannot speak! He told me that he spent a whole day crying and contemplating on the beach. He was on his way to the Golden Gate bridge, to end it all, when the Spirit interceded for him with sighs too deep for words! In those sighs, he realized that even when he felt all alone, God was with him, his life was never the same after that!
- He was never the same because the Lord, through those sighs too deep for words, searches our hearts and intercedes according to God's will. In other words, when we are left speechless the Holy Spirit looks into our hearts. Leading us to our second 'L' which is to look.
- a. Now God already knows our hearts before He looks because He knows everything. So, for who's benefit, is He searching? It is for our benefit. Until we are hit with a situation or moment that leaves us speechless we can obliviously go through life not even knowing the state of our own hearts. Many times I hear people saying "God knows my heart" as if that is comforting. Think about that for a moment. Every hateful, prejudiced, and unkind thought and emotion is fully present before the Lord. The implication of this was illustrated by a Christian philosopher named Frank Turek. He asked a college student, "What would you do if every thought and emotion you had was projected on your forehead for 24 hours?" She said "I would wear a hat!" Why, because it would be embarrassing. There are parts of our hearts, and things that we think, that we know are not right.
- b. When we are left speechless, the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groans too deep for words by looking into our hearts and showing us places where they need renovated. We often modify the Psalm that says "Search me Lord and know my anxious thoughts" to say "Search me Lord, but not too much." These traumatic events that leave us speechless have a way of taking down that facade of having it all together.
- c. That's defiantly what happened to me during my father's third heart surgery. It was a 12 hour long surgery and there were times when it was really touch and go. After the surgery was over he was in the ICU recovering but he was not out of the woods yet. He was still on a respirator, and a device was still pumping his heart for him. They allowed two of us to visit him at a time so me and my momwent in first. It was Friday and they said that he would be sedated until Monday but we could still talk to him in hopes that he could hear us.
- d. He looked like hell but he still looked like my dad. Momand I were each holding one of his hands, talking to him, when the emotionally grueling day all hit me. I fell to my knees and I didn't even know what to say. I said, "Lord I'm losing it I need you." In that moment the Holy Spirit looked into my heart and revealed to me that I was not worshiping and being dependant on God, I was worshiping and being dependant on what I thought God could do for me. The whole day I had said 'God I will love and serve you if my dad is healed.'
- e. I should have been praying as Jesus did before His sacrificial death. Pleading with my loving Father but finishing the prayer with 'not my will but yours be done.' The Holy Spirit showed me that a God that I could control is no God at all. Further what I needed more than a healed father, which I desperately wanted, was Him. Thankfully, my dad made it through the surgery and recovery. However, God used that speechless moment for me to learn something.
- This leads us to our final 'L.' God uses those times where we are left speechless for us to learn.