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Assistant: Title: ✿~ ”I TRULY DESIRE THE FIRE.”
        Author: QuiveringWillow QuiveringWillow 
        Chapter: 1/1 
        Summary: ryker humors an old man and gets f@ck@d into unconsciousness. they both regret it in the morning.
        Contents: Summary:
            
              ryker humors an old man and gets f@ck@d into unconsciousness. they both regret it in the morning.
            
        

        
  Notes:





    
      if you read in between the lines leon took rykers virginity lol,, ALSO the drink referenced here is a very real thing aaaha, if you know you know!! the candide is a banned book but im not sure when it got unbanned,, its leons copy from his father,, aaahaha!! im just excited i found this cute despite how horrible this got
    

    (See the end of the work for more notes.)



  





    
        
          When Leon doesn’t return to their room before midnight, Ryker doesn’t think much of it. He’s done this before. He’s taken them into town, dumped them in a motel room, and said nothing more than I’ll be back in a few hours. Those few hours turn into tomorrow morning. Then he comes back with breakfast and they try to ignore how knotted up their insides feel.  It’s only routine really! At least they’re doing better with it now than how they did before. When Leon had done this for the first time, they almost didn’t let him back into the room furious with worry. He had to coax them into opening the door and that was.. Aah, it was awkward. They had let him in the end once he explained he got caught up with a friend. Yeah right.  Truthfully they still felt embarrassed. They had no right to act like that, and it’s really only by Leon’s kindness that they both just let it go. Even if Ryker stands by it, shame be damned because that’s still lying, Leon.  F@ck@ng getting caught up with a friend their ass. Leon didn’t have friends. Friends that weren’t them. God that’s sad to admit, but it makes something in them feel comforted in the worst way possible. Sure! Sure, they know that’s not exactly healthy for a mid-forties man to be relying on them as his only source of company, but whatever. He was stuck with them, no matter what. Maybe Ryker wouldn’t be as angry if Leon was more open about it instead of leaving them in the dark. Maybe they wouldn’t be so angry if he stopped making up excuses for why he didn’t come back when he said he would. They’ve had a long time traveling with him. It gets tiring after the second or so excuse.  In hindsight though, probably not. They would still be quite furious but for other reasons.  Today something has changed with that routine. Instead the door swings open before midnight and there he is, in all of his glory. He came back with sweat dotting his brow and exhaustion evident on his face.  “I’m back, Ryker.” He fumbles with the lock, arms heavy with a brown bag in the crook of his elbow. “Sorry, I..” He turns around, and he looks so relieved to see them. “I’m surprised you’re still awake, trying to catch up on the candide?” He sets the bag onto the table where they’re sitting by, and just looks over their shoulder at the flipped open book.  ..Really, they were waiting for him to get back safely but it wouldn’t be fair to tell him so. “Yeah. The words keep melting off the page though.” Truthfully they didn’t read any of it, more preoccupied with a comic they had picked up from the local library. If Leon wants to keep secrets, so can they.  “It is late..” He seems to contemplate something, flush laden on his cheeks. Leon smells like how he did when they first met. “Maybe..”  Ryker cuts him off before he can suggest that they should sleep. Again. They’re not interested in that same argument. “Leon?” Their head cranes up to face him, and he looks.. startled. Interested though in what they have to say. “Are you drunk?” Alcoholism can be a tiring battle, and they know he’s trying but its moments like these that make them feel bitter. Maybe if he didn’t drink, he wouldn’t be relasping into f@ck@ng a warm body for the night and leaving them alone.   He’s attractive enough for it. Lone bachelor with some mystique. Charming once he gets past his own reservations, and easy enough that it wouldn’t be hard enough to lure him off somewhere. Rude to think of their best friend as that, but it’s only the truth at this point. There’s a reason why they never fully kicked their stealing habit, and yes! Leon isn’t responsible for that, they know that, they’re their own adult but the point remains. “No, not really.” Leon ends up sitting next to them, slumping down into his chair as he sweeps some hair out of his face. “I ended up doing a favor for a guy. Down on his luck, and I thought why not. Next thing you know he’s offering me a drink and here we are.” He plucks a bottle from the bag, brandishing it. He has a wiry smile on his face but he looks tired.  It’s.. “Didn’t you disclose..” Leon nods, and they don’t say anything more on it until he fiddles with the top of the wrapper. It’s stupid, it’s dumb, they recognize the drink before they can even really think. How could they not? Panic grabs at their tongue, and they speak without a second thought.   “You shouldn’t drink.” Ryker can feel themself swallow thick. If Leon drinks, he’s going to coax them into drinking because if you drink with me, I won’t end up drinking the entire bottle by myself. And if they drink, they’re going to say either too little or too much. At this rate, Leon’s going to slip back into bad habits. He still looks tired, but he looks so sweetly at them that whatever they have to say is locked in their throat. Small flicks of shame melt their insides. Could they even say no? “I shouldn’t.” He agrees easily despite still fiddling with the top of the bottle. It doesn’t take long for him to remove the wrapper, before looking back at them daringly. “Humour an old man?” Being seen by Leon when he didn’t have the patience to play into social norms was.. terrible. They hesitate too long and his lazy stare, so expectant, resigned given he turns to the table. It’s not new. It’s just the same song and dance, but the thing is Leon knows how to get underneath their skin.  Ryker’s used to seeing a strong, independent man. One who cared strongly about keeping up that façade for them because he never really saw them as nothing more than a kid.  It drops sometimes. He won’t mention it in the morning, but he gets cold and distant for the next couple of days and Ryker just wants their best friend.  Could they really deny him this? They know their face shifts, because Leon doesn’t exactly stop staring at them. It’s not with pleading eyes or anything. Just eyes that seem to know. Indulge an old man. He already drank with.. just a guy? Really? That’s all it took? Damage reduction is all they can do, because Leon will just drink regardless but he wouldn’t stop until both bottles were empty. Ryker gets up abruptly, the chair rattling behind them as they walk over to the small kitchenette. His stare follows them there, and their spine tingles. Their hands quiver as they pull open a cabinet and get out only one glass. They couldn’t drink and they couldn’t deny Leon this.  That probably makes them a bad friend.  They stare at the glass long enough that they can hear a chair move behind them. Then footsteps, and Leon's hand is on their shoulder. “You don’t have to.”  If Ryker were to look him in the eyes, he would look disappointed. They can’t stomach that right now. “I know, it’s only one glass right?” They try to wave him off, wave off the butterflies in their stomach but.. They crack like glass, splintering the entirety of their moral integrity and they’re both going to be ashamed in the morning. Leon’s going to blame them because shouldn’t they have said anything at least? A fitting punishment for the crime.  Leon only exhales something that’s maybe in disbelief. They look up to better understand how he’s feeling about this.. And he looks contemplative. Something twists in their guts. Did they fail some test they didn’t know they were taking? Clearly not. He relaxes all too easily after that. The apparent tension that they’re now realizing is there pops like a balloon. Ryker could almost giggle because their worry was ridiculously misplaced. Obviously it was because his eyes crinkle up, and he looks so overjoyed. Happy about how understanding they’re being. Heat bleeds into their cheeks, they know it. “Thank you, Ryker.” His lips melt into a smile, and he pats their shoulder before taking the glass out of their hand. “You’re a good friend, you know that?” He grabs another out of the cabinet, before walking back to the table and sitting down. “I’m your only friend.” Who gets to travel with him, who gets to eat his home cooking, who gets to talk constantly with him. He was all they had. “I’m a good friend by default.” Maybe it was rude, but it’s not like it matters to Leon.  Alcohol loosens them both up. Enough so that Leon leans into the banter with little reservations. Blush flourishes on his face like hyacinths and hydrangeas. His hair is swept cleanly out of his face, and Ryker might be in this deeper than they thought they were.  “Then doesn’t that make you a wonderful person for keeping an old man like me company?” He practically croons, motioning for them to come sit with him again. They follow not long after, sitting down at the table as he pops open the cork and serves them. He poured it into the cups, amber liquid spilling by a tiny amount over the sides. They drink, laugh a little. Talk, sip. Leon doesn’t hesitate to convince them to chug some parts of it.  “Hah! You’re not that old, Leon.” They crack a helpless grin.. He did age well though, didn’t he? There’s gray in his hair, but it’s not prominent and it’s not like he’s balding either. From what they can see, Leon’s wrinkles added charm. Laugh lines complemented his face creasing the corners of his eyes. It’s a complete reversal of their usual argument, where they tease him for being old and he takes it with an indulgent amount of grace.  He usually lets them win. Didn’t matter what it was, Leon didn’t hesitate to cater to them and that’s another issue they need to address. Of course, when they’re sober and not drinking with Leon.  Ryker loses track of what they’re talking about too quickly, too focused on making sure to drink and not stare entirely at him. They’ve done it before, and the alcohol got all over their chin and soaked their chest. They’ve never felt dumber in their entire life. Just carelessly making a fool of themselves! It’s not like Leon hasn’t seen them do worser things, but it still makes them feel dizzy. Oh they’re so dumb soaking him in like the sun. At least what they’re drinking helps take the edge off.  It tastes warm in their mouth. Sweet, maybe a little strong. Was the bitterness always so apparent? Deceptively so, and there’s that familiar mint aftertaste. The flavors tingle on their tongue, and they can’t help but lick the rim of the glass when they’re fresh out. “Oh, that’s good.” They mutter approvingly, before Leon claps their back and he’s so happy. Boisterous where he once was somber.  This is the man who other bar patrons see if he’s in a good mood. Not sulking, grieving, brooding. This is their best friend when he’s let loose, said f@ck it to the wind, and he looks good. They lose track after the third or so drink. Too busy staring to do that. He just keeps refilling their glass, and they only realize halfway through the bottle that he hasn’t taken a single sip of his.  “Aren’t..” They hiccup, and that’s strong. Stronger than they realized. “Aren’t you g’nna drink!” Their tongue feels too big for their mouth, and they stick it out as if that will free it from its fleshy tomb. Their eyes squint shut, and wow. Has the world always been so wobbly? “I have been, Ryker.” His voice is like rocks. Not gravelly, but warm and their head is spinning. Maybe they drank too much. “See?” An empty glass is pushed in front of their face, and they can only go huh? because they could’ve sworn.  Must be their eyes playing tricks.  Leon pours them another glass in the same empty cup, and nudges it against their lips. They drink despite the sickness sloshing around in their guts. “I don’t..” They hiccup, and their cheeks feel rosy. Wet. “I don’t feel good, Leon.” He only hums, before helping them up out of their chair.  “Take it easy.“ It’s definitely meant to be a light hearted scold but they only really take it as something affectionate. “I don’t want you to get sick.” His hands are warm on them, snaking up their body to get a better angle on holding them up. It reminds them of when he had to vigorously clean the alcohol spilled on their chest because they had been too out of it clearly to do it themselves. A rag had been the only barrier against his hands when he cupped their flat chest and rubbed.  Something all too satisfied spreads in their chest, sneaking down between their thighs as they lean in. Just the same as back then. It’s shamelessly taking advantage of his goodwill. It’s shamelessly making a burden of themselves and everything in between. They shouldn’t look at him but that didn’t mean they couldn’t just stay like this.  Sea salt, burning wood, and something else that Ryker can’t figure out. The smell tickles their nose from the clothing he’s been wearing all day. Looking up at him from beneath their lashes just reveals that he looks concerned, but not enough to shove them off. They hope it stays that way. Ryker wouldn’t know what to do with themselves if he got freaked out and did it. They bury their face entirely into his shoulder. “Tell me if you’re going to throw up.” Leon nearly pleads, stroking their back with a freed hand. It’s not very far, but Leon throws their arm over his shoulders anyway. Probably for the best since they’re so sure if they had stood up by themselves, they would have eaten dust. It’s really thanks to him that they keep their balance. He’s a good friend.  “I know, Ryker. You’re a good friend too.” They’re a good friend? They’re glad, god knows Leon’s dealt with so much of their sh@t. “You’re probably the best friend I’ve ever had.” His hand cups their elbow and it feels like home. Ryker never wants to leave. “..You’re awake, right?” He’s warm, they’re warm. They’re too hyper aware of him and that’s bad.  They nod against his shoulder, not trusting themselves to not loudly inhale through the mouth. Thankfully he accepts that and only sits them down on their bed. His hands linger on their body and he stares at them hungrily enough that surely has to be indecent. Clearly against the rules of his religion because it was never theirs.  Ryker followed and prayed. They did all the things they were meant to do, but everyday it feels like that chasm widens by the inch. “Lift up your leg for me?” He’s gentle with them, carefully undoing their belt before slipping his thumb behind their waistband. Their pants peel away easily until it split into the legs. He waits patiently. They do as he asks, only wiggling around a little bit when he pulls their pants down around their ankles. “Uuhm.” Their legs feel weighted down by iron. Leon laughs a little to himself, before shucking their pants into a bag.  “You drank a lot tonight, didn’t you Ryker?” They mumble something in protest, but it’s like he didn’t hear them. “Ah, I can’t be too mad. You made sure I only had one glass. Good job.” They almost feel stunned, and he’s stroking their knee. It tingles warm and Leon’s face is so full of love. It’s syrupy sweet, hiccuping liquor of an addiction. He’s so happy with them, so all of this had to be worth it. Leon leans in suddenly and their heart skipped. His face up close allows them to drink in all the little details and the speckle in his eyes. What would it be like if they leaned in now? They know his whiskers would be itchy since he’s rubbed them against their skin while in relapsed drunken stupors. Then he drops a bundle of clothing in their lap, before going back to the kitchenette. He does it in an abrupt manner and it feels like Ryker is being teased by delusions.  It’s their tanktop. They hold it in their hands, bleary eyed and feeling the verge of disappointment along with darkness set in. Leon comes back to that. “You okay there, kid?” Their tongue feels swollen when they try to respond. It’s odd. They’re not really much of a lightweight, and something is distantly setting every instinct of theirs on fire. They clumsily nod, because this is just.. embarrassing. They’re embarrassing themself. Their hands shake when they try to unbutton their shirt, and they can feel their face get warmer with every second they take.  Leon’s gaze is hot where he stares. Like hot candlewax being poured down their breastline and into their bellybutton. They shuck their shirt off, trying to be quick because it hurts to be stared at with such intensity. It damns the rest of the buttons they couldn’t get off to a crumpled fate. Hopefully the damage is small enough that they can just stitch the buttons back on.  Their tank top is dragged on once they have a solid hold on it. Clumsy fingers weighed down by alcohol were hard things to manage, but Leon wanted them to do something. He’s letting them change with all the dignity they can have. God knows last time they tried to undress by themselves, they woke up in his bed with their pants around their ankles.  It was a very distressing week for the both of them.  Their focus is entirely on that, not on what Leon was doing. It’s entirely a mistake because they hear his footsteps and feel the bed dip under his weight but.. It’d hard to pay attention. “It’s on backwards.” His breath is hot on their ears. They jerk upwards, given that Leon’s now sitting next to them and nervous laughter erupts from their lips like a volcano. “See? I’ll help you.” His fingers are hot, too warm where he drags them across their skin. It’s like he relishes in being able to touch freely, but it’s probably just them being too sensitive.  ”I don’t..” They begin their protests, only shutting up when Leon gently squeezes their waist before fixing their shirt for them. Blush burns the tips of their ears, and they end up ducking their head to pull at the sheets. It’s humiliating.  “I know, I know.” Leon only hums as he smoothes out the bottom of their shirt. His hands, were they always so big? They hiccup uselessly. “Just humor me. You helped me out, why can’t I help you?”  They kick their feet uselessly, because maybe if Leon didn’t do this for them, they wouldn’t feel so tempted to tell him anything. They certainly feels safe enough to tell him anything. Good enough that they could admit a stupid secret they’ve been trying to hide for awhile now.  Hic. They feel warm. “It’s..” What’s the word? “It feels childish.” They’re just confused. That warmth dulls a lot of things and makes it hard to think. What they’re feeling is a result of the poor decisions of tonight. “It’s never childish to accept help, Ryker. Where did that come from?” He cups their face, and he’s normally not so touchy! It must be the alcohol. He would never act like this with them if they both were sober. Ryker knows their best friend. He’s far too conscious of himself to ever relax and indulge in something like this. Not unless Alcohol joins the mix and his mind gets f@ck@d up beyond belief.   Priests, age gap, he’s so much older than them and so much more experienced. He could have anybody he wanted, they know it. That just makes it all the sweeter he’s here, and Ryker can feel that familiar panic grip the back of their throat.  Because he’s going to do this again. He’s going to leave for the night, and come back smelling faintly of perfume and it drives Ryker f@ck@ng mad because what about his oath? What about his promise to them to turn his life around? Their mouth must be agape. F@ck. They’re such a creep breathing him in like this, but they can smell his stupid cheap cologne. It’s in their lungs, in their head, and they feel light-headed from the arousal that threatens to strangle them.  If Leon doesn’t adhere to his own oath, maybe Ryker can get away with breaking that rule of chastity. Just for tonight, because Leon’s the one who coaxed them into drinking. He can accept the responsibility for now. ..Would he remember in the morning if they kissed him? They want to try so badly. How could they not? Leon’s so pretty up close. They could probably count each eyelash if they wanted to. Each speck in his eyes too! His lips looked so inviting, and his tongue darts out across them.  Warmth trickles into their lower belly more persistently. Their tongue still feels heavy. “Nowhere.” Aah, they probably sound so petulant. Like some dumb brat. Struck dumb by the realization that they’re staring and Leon’s staring back.  “Ryker..” The impulse strikes and they can blame it on the fact that Leon got them trashed. Ryker shoves their head forward and accidentally headbutts Leon in the face instead of mashing their lips together.  He goes staggering back, and cups his head like he’s in disbelief. Ryker stares back, and they know their eyes must be so wide. “Sshorry.” They choke on their words, ashamed where the shock once was. Red hot flush taints their insides, pooling in their stomach. “I didn’t mean to.” They try to insist, but their words aren’t sounding right. They didn’t drink that much. Why aren’t they sounding right at all!? “I..” They swallow thickly, unsure of where to go from here but Leon just looks so hurt and! And, they just start spilling from between the cracks of their own integrity. “I just waanted,” Were Leon’s eyes always this pretty? From where they’re looking at them at this angle, the light catches on them well. “A kiss.” They swallow.  Leon look… well. Confused, conflicted. Hurt. All sorts of things, but he gets closer. Maybe a little bit sad. “Thinking of an old boyfriend?” He’s trying to joke, but it just makes them feel more wound up. An old boyfriend? Even if that were the case, none of them looked like Leon. They can’t think straight, but what they do know is that it hurts being written off like this. “Noo, Just..” Leon really does look like he’s about to bolt. Ryker makes sure to lay a hand onto his arm. It wouldn’t stop him from leaving, but they would like to think it helped. Saliva pools too easily in their mouth. “Can you love me?”  It springs out with desperation.  “Oh Ryker, God and Jesus already love you.” His arm was warm underneath their hand. Not for any longer since he sweeps their hand off but.. Before they know it, Leon’s cupping their face. His thumb strokes over the bottom of their lip. “You’re drunk and tired. Why don’t you go to sleep?” The night could’ve ended innocently there. Ryker would have nodded, gone to sleep, and not remembered a single thing from tonight. No, instead it turns bizarre. It feels bizarre because Leon.. Leon’s thumb slips into their mouth, and heat is boiling their insides. Their lips form a seal around his knuckle, and maybe he’s saying more but.. They can’t taste anything but the alcohol and the texture of his fingerprints. His eyes are warm coals with the way some fire of sheer desire seems to be lit.  Without realizing it, their eyes flutter lazily shut and it’s like their mind shuts off. They just stop thinking entirely of the consequences and what could happen in the future besides I need to get in between his legs. If they were in their right mind, they would probably blame it on a decade of sexual repression driving them to sin.  “Leon.” Ryker mouths around him, or maybe they moan it out. It’s hard to focus when you have another man’s thumb in your mouth, and it’s making them wonder what the real deal could taste like. They give a rather harsh suckle, trying to get more in but it all comes to a stop. Leon seems to have taken a hint. “..I’m not what you want.” He pulls his thumb out of their mouth, and the drool that follows? It’s almost lewdful enough that Leon seems to get flustered. A warm hue spills over onto the very tips of his ears. How could they not find him irresistible? “You are. I’ll prove it if I have to.” They hook their thumbs around the waistband of their boxers. What could only be deserved as hysteria leads to the worn elastic giving and it begins to inch down. Ryker isn’t thinking straight, just wanting to prove that their body wants him too because that’s the most physical evidence they can give him right now. “Ryker.” Leon catches their wrists. “I’m far too old for you.” If they look hard enough, they can see some of that blush spread just as vividly to the tips of his ears. It’s hidden by hair, but it’s like a halo how it’s spread out freely. It’s so bright and vibrant.  Weren’t vivid colors used to brag that creatures were poisonous? Too bad Ryker’s into bright shades of red. If they weren’t, that could’ve stopped them from ruining everything because they couldn’t just appreciate what they had.  “That doesn’t matter to me. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.” They hiccup, and their cheek feels wet yet again. “Leon, I love you.” Their eyes squeeze shut because Leon didn’t even need to go looking for this shameful secret. It came rushing out. “..I’m sorry.” Their hands are pulled away and they just want to go to sleep and wake up so that this becomes all a distant dream.  “No! No, Ryker.” Leon pulls them into his arms. He wraps them up in his arms, pressing their face into the crook of his neck. “Don’t ever apologize for loving somebody, I just need you to understand I can’t act on it.” His hand flattens against the small of their back, idly stroking. “..You could, though.”  His hair tickles their face. It’s soft despite the lack of care. “I could?” They echo. Hope blooms in their heart, and do they dare to hope? “You took an oath of poverty, not all of them. Ryker, If you wanted you could have anybody you wanted. You could settle down with a nice man, or woman.” Somebody else. They bite the inside of their lip sharply, something boiling in their stomach that pleasantly drips down as lava.  “I told you what I wanted.” They bite out, frustrated because this? It isn’t helping! “If you can’t act on it, then stop..” Stop what? Ryker can feel that anger drop into fear, because what if Leon interprets whatever they say as a leave me alone and this never happens again? No more drinking and gentle touches.  If they had to be honest under the threat of losing their molars, they liked these moments even if it was wrong. Drinking made it so they could climb into Leon’s bed, and fall asleep without it being weird. They could wake up to his face first thing in the morning, or his arm around them.  It’s a dumb crush, and they’re stupider for indulging it. Tempting Leon never ends well.  “..Holding me.” They settle on that in the end, and they know they’re shaking. It’s so trivial, so dumb, they shouldn’t need him this badly. Not his attention, not his time, none of it.  He’s their best friend. They don’t care if anything changes, because at least he knows now and they feel so light.  Leon hesitates. Ryker knows, because he doesn’t let them go where they’re sitting. Not even when they make a move for it. Instead, he firmly holds them close while thinking.  “If I’m all you ever wanted..” Leon lets his hand dip further down to squeeze their ass. It tingles, and Ryker can’t really bring themselves to care beyond he’s touching them!! He’s reciprocating!! They literally can’t mess this up. They almost stop breathing entirely before shoving his chest to make room for them to get away. Not off of his lap, but to look at him instead of where he wanted them to look. ..Ryker needed to know what he was feeling, if he was only doing this to indulge them because that would give them the strength to fully push him off.  Sweat beads on his brow, and he looks timid. It’s so wrong, and Ryker almost chokes on the hilarity of this entire situation. Leon, timid? It’s so dumb. They’re so dumb. That timidness hardens at the sight of whatever is on their face. “Well?” Leon breathes out, putting his hands around Ryker’s waist.They never liked when he used that expectant tone on them. It was far too reminiscent of their childhood. It’s the same voice a bossy older sister would use, or their dad expecting an answer for why they stole a toy from the store.  ..It’s not like the place would miss it anyway.  A whole parade of emotions runs loose in their drunk head, but they have permission now. They try to cup Leon’s face like how he did earlier, leaning in and pressing their lips together. His scruffy beard scratches their face, but it’s not so bad. Licking his lips brings away the taste of alcohol, and fire effusing deeper into their guts.  They pull away all too eagerly, and Leon just lets them.  Their hands clumsily pull down their boxers. It doesn’t go any further down the middle of their thighs but it’ll work. Dark hair dusting their legs spreads barely to reveal a nestled d@ck. A vein throbs on its side. Their own.. part was chubbing. Ryker can’t stand to look at it any longer, grabbing Leon’s hand and wrapping it around the shaft to hide it. Ryker pants slowly at the feeling, trying to adjust to the feeling.  Were they smaller than average? It doesn’t feel like their tip should be the only thing poking out. Didn’t other people their age have theirs bigger than this? They wouldn’t know. Leon makes a muted huh to their ears before looking at them. “..Can you lay down on your back? It would make this easier.” Something swoops in their stomach because the realization that this is happening sinks in. They kind of gape at him before nodding, swallowing thickly.  He doesn’t wait to climb onto the bed after that, caging them in and he ignores their mutters of what about your foot? Or your back?  Leon just smiles at them reassuringly before he pulls his hand off. Ryker almost wants to yell, because no, why? Then, he spits onto his hand before it goes back around them and!  Their mind goes blank. Not for long, just a second, but it’s enough to make them wish this wouldn’t end. They know god listens to prayers, so won’t he please grant them this? Please? Please? Please, merciful god?  “Uuh!” Ryker groans with an arm thrown over their eyes. A whimper is bitten down as Leon squeezes his fist around them. He jerks them off just as aggressively as they like, using his wrist to skillfully work their shaft without much thought into it.  He’s mercifully quiet, because if Ryker heard him right now? They wouldn’t be sure if they would cry out of shame or out of pleasure. He’s just indulging them, and their legs end up going around to bracket him in closer. Small whimpers are choked out, before he comes to a halt and groans.  “Careful!” He scolds them before grabbing their legs to pry them off. “I’m not going anywhere, Ryker. I just need to take it easy on my back.” He grunts, before straightening up. A relieved sigh can be heard, before he lets go of Ryker’s ankles. “Are you okay?”  They’re aching something fierce between their legs. A mix of spit and prec@m is smeared on one side of his thighs. Probably from their d@ck being pressed against there. “Leeoonn.” Ryker whines, arching their hips up as he only laughs. “I’m okay.” They answer at last, squirming as they reach for themselves.  Leon doesn’t stop them, if anything, he seems to be delighted. He encourages them by helping guide them to their own p@n@s, wrapping their fingers around themselves and guiding their wrist to pump. It’s not enough.  “Is this what you’re looking for?” Leon asks, before taking their hand aside and over entirely. “Is this everything you hoped it would live up to?” He’s teasingly slow, carefully squeezing his fist to mimic a fleshlight. Up and down teasingly, and Ryker needs absolutely f@ck@ng more. ”No. No, it isn’t at all.” They whine, desperately trying to move his fist faster. Harder. What they had been hoping for had been everything from earlier. Those couple of minutes where Leon was touching them.  God. They could cry. They could scream. F@ck, they want to beg, but their mouth isn’t working in the way they need it to. “Tease.” They choke out, strained because it almost feels like too much. Their head drops back onto the pillow instead of trying to look at Leon. “..Do you trust me?” He comes to a stop entirely in his attempt to coax an answer out.  “Of course.” That nice fog helps them from thinking further on it. They say what immediately comes to mind, so it’s the truth. Perhaps they should’ve done this much more sober, because he pulls their boxers down around their ankles. Just like how they woke up in his bed with their pants around their ankles.  They’re thinking too far into this. That immediate anxiety that skyrockets through them at him doing that is soothed as Leon splays his hands across their skin. He’s gentle with them, fingers trace invisible patterns over their skin to really help them adjust. It’s nice, if it weren’t for the need that was choking them out. Still, they don’t complain. This had to be enough.  His fingers linger too long near their happy trail before he brings them up to Ryker’s mouth. They take the cue without thinking, wetly sucking around what’s been put in their mouth. Their tongue swirls clumsily around the intruding digits, instinctively sucking in their cheeks to create a vacuum. It’s a nice change of pace before he pulls them out with a pop!  “I need you to put one of your legs over my shoulder.” He instructs them once he’s sure they’re back with him. They do as he asks, making sure to not accidentally hit him again. His hand dips down to cup their b@lls, toying with them before letting his hands go lower.. annd holy f@ck@ng sh@t that’s wet! They nearly kick him, streaks of fire and phloem getting tangled up.  “Relax!” Leon barks, lurching forward when he felt them pull their leg across his shoulder. One of his hands holds them down, and it’s not like they’re struggling truly. It’s just.. It’s weird! It’s gross!  That thought goes firmly out of the window once they’ve settled down and he starts feeling around. The lighter sparks on and off before Leon truly gets the feel for it.  It’s not rapidly rising like a forest fire. The trees aren’t burning down, and there isn’t smoke in the air.  No, it’s more like a sickness that infects slowly by the months. Pleasure warms their belly, melting into their crotch and it’s not long before they’re bucking into it. Chasing after sparks to turn a diseased forest into one. All they needed was that strike of lightning.  “Mmuuh..” Ryker pants, discontentment growing rapidly inside of them. They sound like a dumb puppy, trying to hump against a leg. “More!” They spit out as they shift on the bed. Desperately trying to get a better angle. Dumb. F@ck@ng dumb, and that shame spreads like a wildfire. Their legs are spreaded wide not by Leon’s big and stupidly warm hands but by their own will.  “Leon, please.” They gasp, nearly wailing their head off when he hones in on that spot that makes their head f@ck@ng spin. And when he wraps his hand around their engorged p@n@s too? Leon’s thankful for the pillow, because they thump their head on it repeatedly as they bucked and whined. He plays them beautifully, and Ryker can see his c@ck straining in his unzipped pants.  What would that taste like in their mouth? Probably just musty. Has to be, since it’s been hours since Leon last showered and he’s sweating. F@ck, Ryker wants. They want to return the favor, they need to be shoved against his pubes breathing him in. They want, and Ryker f@ck@ng keens when Leon does that thing with his wrist. In hindsight that’s probably what tipped them over.  Sound bleeds out of the background, they can only hear their breathing, and it’s like a gunshot goes off. Dark spots cover their vision, and it’s so warm. Lava’s filled them entirely. Leon says a very concerned ryker? It overwhelms them, and Ryker makes a nearly pained cry before it all goes dark. 

 They wake up in the morning feeling sticky but distinctly happy. Warm under a blanket that isnt covering their back, and it’s flaking off of their abdomen. Hair tickles their face, breathing puffs into their hair and that clues them in that something’s very much wrong. They could be lauded as a detective really. An eye peels open to Leon’s shoulders, his hair strangely tied up, and light shining on them. It reveals what had happened last night. Ryker makes a rather loud hitched gasp because they forgot to keep it down. So Leon wakes up, and it all goes downhill from there. Not even downhill, they walked off the side of a f@ck@ng cliff.  Leon checks them out as soon as possible in the morning. It’s the only rational thing, because there’s c@m on their stomach and screaming in the back of their head. It’s their own cum, and waking up curled around Leon and drooling onto his shoulder is too far! Their head hurts, but they know what happened and.. Leon drank less than them. He knows more. He also has been refusing to look at them, and Ryker just wants to get swallowed whole by the earth.  The more they think back to last night, the dread just grows and grows. It’s not the full picture, but they can infer what happened between warm hands, a minty drink, and the taste of sin in their mouth. They took advantage of him. They took advantage of him, and maybe this is where the play ends. This close to picture perfect fantasy of a play. He reciprocated though, and Ryker was the one taking everything rather selfishly.  A thief by nature. That’s all they really were in the end. They needed to set the record right. See where they stood, and stop there. They needed to stop.  “..Leon?” They start almost nervously, which is dumb because it’s just Leon. Their best friend. Who only tells them something so simple it almost drives them insane on the spot.  “Forget about it,” There’s almost something miserable about how Leon looks. Not almost because now that Ryker’s really looking at him. He looks disgusted, and that’s never been a look Ryker’s been expecting from him. “Please, Ryker. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll forget that...”  They cut him off for the first time in a long time. Not in their life because god knows they’ve done it once or twice before this. “I’ve seen the way you looked at me.” Is it stubborn of them to insist on this? No because Ryker isn’t f@ck@ng stupid, alright? Leon wasn’t subtle, not with his staring or how he touched them. It just isn’t fair that he’s saying all of this now.  “..And it was wrong. Ryker,” Leon rubs the back of his neck, averting his eyes away from theirs. “I shouldn’t… We shouldn't have done that.”  This entire conversation just makes something tight in their chest, and burns their eyes. Ryker turns away from him. They continue to walk in silence. At some point their hands had become fists that made fire lick at their knuckles, and Ryker made an ugly sigh. “We still did it though.” For some unknown reason, that sets Leon off. It p@ss@s him off enough that he turns around to march over to grab their wrist. “We never touched, and I will not have you saying otherwise.” He insists on it, putting his other hand on their shoulder to have them look at him. “Forget about it. It never happened.” That’s that. Leon really was just indulging them last night, letting them have the win that he deserved. Ryker silently nods, almost shaky before they pipe up with something that could help put this behind them. “I’m sorry, Leon. For everything.”  “..I’m sorry too, Ryker.” He drops their wrist, and shame shines through on his face. It’s without a word more that he drags them into another hug. Crushing their face against the side of his with a long sigh. Leon’s been doing that a lot lately. “It’s for the best. One day you’ll understand.” Then he slips away, out of their arms and continues walking. Ryker is left to chase after him, because that’s how this act ends.'
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