summarize the text: The NY Post accomplished a feat by encroaching on the most sacred thing we have – Joe Biden, and publishing selected passages from Engels' correspondence with Hunter Biden's Kautsky, from which it suddenly turned out that almost everything we were told last year during Trump's impeachment turned out to be true – not the part where Trump obstructed justice or used it for personal gain, and the one that said that Burisma and Biden are twin brothers. In fact, everyone knew this even then, but the FBI, out of habit, was modestly silent, and the media shouted that Trump was trying to deal with his possible political opponent in the upcoming elections.



And at this time, the owner of a small computer shop, as it turned out, had already spilled his oil and taken the three laptops that Hunter Biden had left with him for repairs to the FBI, because Hunter, a big cocaine lover, apparently forgot about them altogether and did not come to pick them up in the three months prescribed by the laws of the state of Delaware. The possible savior of American humanity from the socialist contagion (I'm talking about Kamala), being a law-abiding citizen, briefly thought about what to do with Hunter's goods, but, having accidentally found on these laptops suspicious, in his opinion, information that completely refutes the fiery speeches of Adam Schiff during the impeachment, decided to give everything away from sin to the FBI, although, fortunately, remembering Trump's precepts about the Washington swamp, At the same time, I copied the contents of these computers to a more secure place. Long years passed, months passed, the FBI in an uncharacteristic manner like water in its mouth, and the slightly nervous computer guy could not stand it and contacted the former mayor of New York, and now one of Trump's lawyers, Rudy Giuliani, and said that he had a small "October surprise" for Trump. Rudy did not have to be persuaded for a long time, and when he received Hunter's correspondence at the end of September, he quickly became convinced that there was a lot of interesting things there, unlike the FBI, and contacted the NY Post, into the depths of which decent journalists accidentally made their way, immediately printing epistolary details of how Hunter waved Joe's name in front of Burisma and received several million dollars for a meeting between Burisma's management and Joe. and Joe, like a good father, demanded the dismissal of the Ukrainian Prosecutor General Shokhin, who stuck his nose in Burisma, threatening not to pay Ukraine a billion dollars.

Facebook and Twitter grabbed their liberal heads and immediately rushed to delete all posts that mentioned the article in the NY Post. People sensed something was wrong and asked Twitter what was so terrible about reposting an article from a newspaper with a multi-million circulation, founded back in 1801 by Alexander Hamilton, who had not yet died in a duel at the hands of another vice president. Twitter immediately explained that this article grossly violates the rules he had just invented, according to which hacked emails cannot be reprinted. People were seething, everyone was interested in what the NY Post had printed, the article was reprinted by many, including one of the Senate committees posted it on its website, putting Twitter in a slightly awkward position, because it has no right to block government sites, but a sudden "programmer error" allowed it to bypass this rule for some time. True, then I had to apologize. As a result, the "Streisand effect" worked, and everyone started talking about the Biden family. The Washington Post and the NY Times did the hard work of laundering Biden from the flood of memories, Adam Schiff ran to their aid, saying that the NY Post article clearly had Russian disinformation roots, but Schiff's version did not last very long, because the chief American intelligence officer, the head of the Office of Internal Intelligence, John Ratcliffe, said that no Russian trace was found in the publication of these materials.

Biden's troubles did not end there, because one of Hunter's comrades in dubious operations, Bevan Cooney, was unlucky with relatives, among whom were not a single vice president, and, while serving a well-deserved sentence in places not so remote, he suddenly turned to the side of good, perhaps expecting a reduction in his prison sentence, and contacted a couple of conservative journalists, to whom he gave 26-something thousand emails. After reading these emails, the journalists were speechless for a while, and then rolled up their sleeves and got to work, because these emails told in detail about the affairs of Hunter, and at the same time Joe, in Ukraine, China, Kazakhstan and Russia, and quite colorfully told how Hunter and Co. actively helped the "first Moscow lady", if, of course, she can be called that, Elena Baturina, to save Luzhkov's hard-earned money from cruel American sanctions, for which one of Hunter's comrades, David Archer, who was also unlucky with his relatives and was also found guilty, but the judge has not yet announced the verdict with the term, was even recommended, like the good soldier Schweik, to satisfy all the whims of a Moscow lady, if she suddenly had them.
Not all emails have been published yet, so it is not yet known about some Kazakh and Chinese exploits, but the published materials are already acquiring a rather ominous connotation, and Biden's election campaign, just in case, decided to go on a well-deserved rest until Thursday, when the next presidential debate is to take place. True, the shadow of Biden's father appears here and there, and on Sunday, brave journalists asked Joe, leaving an ice cream establishment, which ice cream he likes best. Journalists may have been a little spooked by Joe's yelling at a CBS journalist who dared to ask Biden about the NY Post story.

Meanwhile, Steve Scully, who said before the last, however, canceled debates that his tweeter account was hacked by bad people and asked Scaramouchi a question, after a week of excruciating torment, finally admitted that no one broke his account, after which he was suspended from the air "indefinitely" just in case in order to demonstrate his principled position to everyone. Of course, in 2-3 weeks, when everyone forgets about it, the indefinite time will end and Steve will safely return to the air.
Last week, the Senate Judiciary Committee heard Amy Barrett's nomination for Chief Justice, and it ended 20-0 in favor of Amy, because she was smarter than all the senators who read syllable-by-syllable questions from a piece of paper, to which she answered easily and naturally, throwing numbers and laws from memory in response to the helpless attacks of the Democrats. Some of the Democrats got carried away with narcissism and forgot to ask her their questions, and Maisie Hirono, a particularly gifted elderly girl from Hawaii, decided to ask if Amy had raped anyone. The senator's response seems to have been a little disappointing, and the Democrats from the commission found some new squiggle in the complex Senate laws and postponed the vote within the commission for a week, so on October 22 there should be a vote on Amy's candidacy in the Senate committee, and on October 23 her candidacy should be confirmed in the Senate.

Meanwhile, Lindsey Graham, the head of the Senate Judiciary Committee, genuinely outraged by the behavior of Twitter and Facebook, decided today, Tuesday, to vote in favor of a summons to a meeting of the Twitter CEO committee to explain his unsportsmanlike behavior towards the NY Post, but then, it seems, unexpectedly changed his mind, because anonymous sources, familiar, as usual, with Lindze's train of thought, said that he would do it "sometime later." because of this, the overjoyed citizens realized that they had been deceived again, as is customary in Washington.
While everyone is watching Hunter Biden's emails with great interest, a terrible tragedy unfolded in the New Yorker, which is even inconvenient to write about. One of the journalists of this publication, Jeffrey Toobin, was a little dumb during a Zoom video conference with his colleagues, because he managed to show them some parts of himself, which are usually not shown during work calls. He tried to justify himself, saying that he took off his pants because he thought that the video call, at which, by the way, New Yorker journalists decided to play with different scenarios of the election results, and Tubin was supposed to play the judges, had already ended, but then it turned out that he had not only taken off his pants, but also decided to slightly brighten up his locked up seat in front of the camera due to the coronavirus. Popular rumor immediately called Tubin Toob-Out, and even CNN, where he sometimes appeared, reported that Jeffrey "for personal reasons" decided to abandon CNN broadcasts for the time being. The nickname Toob-Out did not last long, because it was replaced by a much more capacious in its genius #MeToobin.

Dr. Fauci got a kick in the nuts from Trump, who is now driving around the country with election rallies. Trump said that Dr. Fauci said that he did not set foot on TV, and he himself appeared on Sunday on the program "60 Minutes", and if his administration had followed the advice of this pseudo-doctor, then not 200 thousand people would have died from the coronavirus, but at least 800 thousand, and, Trump added, Fauci does not know how to throw a baseball at all. Before baseball games start, sometimes guest stars make a "first pitch," and Fauci was such a "guest star" before a Washington Nationals game. Trump, after watching this memorable shot, said that this was the worst first pitch in the history of baseball, and for credibility, he posted a video on his Twitter account, where Trump himself, before he became President, to the enthusiastic roar of New York viewers, who did not yet know that in a few years they would be sick of the word "Trump", beautifully threw a baseball, falling directly into the glove of the catcher.

Mikhail Gershtein