Evaluate these lines of the Strawberry Candy translation, its pros and cons, line by line, providing feedback and improvements when needed, and rating from 1-10 (Info on the song: Sung with a sickly, glitchy voice -
Original Upload Date
May 15, 2024
Singer
Hatsune Miku
Producer(s)
Ze (music, lyrics)
AYAKA OHIRA (illustration)
FILL,more (video)
Views
64,000+
Links
YouTube Broadcast
Description
Hatsune Miku x FILL,more collaboration has been decided! Ahead of the collaboration, the music video for the song “Strawberry Candy” has been released♪) -
Japanese	Romaji	English
とろけた町で頭が回る	toroketa machi de atama ga mawaru	In the melted city, my head spins and spins;
幸せを食べ尽くした獣	shiawase o tabetsukushita kedamono	A beast who gobbled happiness whole.
視界の隅で貴方が混ざる	shikai no sumi de anata ga mazaru	You mix into the corners of my field of view,
華やかな音の中で踊って。	hanayaka na oto no naka de odotte.	dancing in the resplendent sound.

キャッチできない言の葉の群れ	kyacchi dekinai kotonoha no mure	A crowd of words you can't quite catch.
青春劇の様な	seishun geki no you na	Akin to a youth drama,
おぞましく甘ったるいストーリー	ozomashiku amattarui sutoorii	this terribly cloying, saccharine story.

Strawberry Candy	Strawberry Candy	Strawberry Candy
僕らは世界から落っこちた！	bokura wa sekai kara okkochita!	We plopped right down from the world!
そのI LOVE YOUは	sono I LOVE YOU wa	That “I LOVE YOU” of yours,
誰が為の物なのでしょうか	dare ga tame no mono nano deshou ka	Whom is it meant for?
Strawberry Candy	Strawberry Candy	Strawberry Candy
僕らは世界がこぼした	bokura wa sekai ga koboshita	We had spilled right out of the palms of the world!
そのI LOVE YOUの	sono I LOVE YOU no	Had we drunk
輝きを飲んだのでしょうか	kagayaki o nonda no deshou ka	The shine of that “I LOVE YOU”?

また性懲りも無く歩き出した	mata shoukori mo naku arukidashita	We walked again and again, in spite of all the setbacks we were supposed to learn from.
永い夜の先に	nagai yoru no saki ni	At the end of a long night,
待ち倦ねた貴方が居た	machi aguneta anata ga ita	you, fed up of waiting, were there
そんな毎日があった	sonna mainichi ga atta	Such was the everyday that we lived out.

戯けたフリで世界は回る	odoketa furi de sekai wa mawaru	In such a joking manner, the world spins and spins on
幸せを蓄えている果物	shiawase o takuwaete iru kudamono	A fruit accumulating more and more happiness.
記憶の海で貴方が揺らぐ	kioku no umi de anata ga yuragu	In the sea of reminiscence, you sway,
暖かな春の中へ攫って。	atataka na haru no naka e saratte.	carried away to a warm and youthful spring.

キャッチできない言の葉の群れ	kyacchi dekinai kotonoha no mure	A crowd of words you can't quite catch.
制御不能のモンスター	seigyo funou no monsutaa	Quite the uncontrollable monster,
おぞましく甘ったるい	ozomashiku amattarui	this all too sickly sweet
ストロベリー・キャンディ	sutoroberii kyandi	strawberry candy
立って居られない程の憧れ	tatte irarenai hodo no akogare	A longing that leaves me unable to stand on my feet,
成長痛の様な	seichoutsuu no you na	like growing pains,
艶やかに染まっていく スローリー	adeyaka ni somatte iku suroorii	It's being dyed bewitchingly, slowly.

噛み砕いたら飲み込めた物	kamikudaitara nomikometa mono	Something that, once crunched up and broken down to bits, can be swallowed down-
ひとりぼっちを愛せるかな	hitoribocchi o aiseru kana	I wonder, can I come to love the loneliness?

Strawberry Candy	Strawberry Candy	Strawberry Candy
僕らは世界から落っこちた！	bokura wa sekai kara okkochita!	We plopped right down from the world!
そのI LOVE YOUは	sono I LOVE YOU wa	That “I LOVE YOU” of yours,
誰が為の物なのでしょうか	dare ga tame no mono nano deshou ka	Whom is it meant for?
Strawberry Candy	Strawberry Candy	Strawberry Candy
僕らは世界がこぼした	bokura wa sekai ga koboshita	We had spilled right out of the palms of the world!
そのI LOVE YOUの	sono I LOVE YOU no	The shine of that “I LOVE YOU”,
輝きを逃さないように	kagayaki o nogasanai you ni	I pray it won't fall from our hands.

また性懲りも無く歩き出した	mata shoukori mo naku arukidashita	We walked again and again, in spite of all the setbacks we were supposed to learn from.
永い夜の先に	nagai yoru no saki ni	At the end of a long night,
待ち倦ねた貴方が居た	machi aguneta anata ga ita	you, fed up of waiting, were there
そんな毎日があった	sonna mainichi ga atta	Such was the everyday that we lived out.

鉢合わせた僕らが居た	hachiawaseta bokura ga ita	There was us, who had bumped heads by chance
そんな幸せがいいな	sonna shiawase ga ii na	and, I'm glad to have found such happiness.-