hi chat gpt. I want to figure out myself. pls help me. I was elder child in my family. My father lost his parents when he was a kid. He was raised in orphanage in soviet union. his mindset was formed under communistic ideas. he believed that in this life if you want to be successful you have to trust to your government, just follow steps which your goverment offers, become one part of system. as an child I believed that father know better than others how to live. he was engineer in state mining company. he was working hard and the government was supporting him and his family with accommodation, education and medical care and so on. I was sure its best option to live happy life. but when soviet union collapsed and each country become independent they choose capitalistic way of developement. but it was not so successful. now everybody forced to struggle to survive. at that moment I was teen age. As an follower of my father's lifestyle, I went after his steps, I graduated mining institute and become mining engineer, I was working hard for 7 years in mining industry. economic situation of company was getting bad day by day. I was disappointed with system. I moved abroad to turkey. within 2 years i become successful in business working as operations manager in auto spare parts warehouse. then moved to dubai to worked as an real estate agent. I saw how real economics works, how real business is done. there I met startupers also. I came back to my home country. I was so inspired by what I saw abroad, so decided to start my own company. But for the beginning to gain experience in business i was hired to small company which was dealing with equipment sales to local textile companies as an sales manager. i was hungry for study and for new opportunities. daytime I was busy with company operations, night time i was working on my own projects. i was dreaming about my own company and own team. once i was ready i resigned and launched my own startup i raised first investment 150000$ for my ideas. I organized all works related with my startup. i hired IT developers, sales managers, accountant. we developed solutions for industrial companies. step by step we were trying to move forward. but team was very weak. we were missing deadlines. we were not skilled enough. after 2 years everything collapsed. I was refusing to accept this fact. I was trying to hold my team. when they left me i accepted it as an betrayal. I tried to start several businesses by myself, but i fail again and again. I tried to start real estate agency in indonesia on bali, Digital marketing agency in dubai. failed again. i spend all my savings and get into debts. last days i tried to work as an freelancer. but i failed again.  i was in depression for 2 years. i realized that the biggest mistake was me. I learned how to let everything and everyone go. some of my dreams and goals was not mine, it was not what i really wanted. right now i have to take next step. yes i can do freelance work or get hired as a good experienced manager. but something inside me stopping me from it. yes i have great idea, big dream: to make autonomous heavy equipment, i have proper experience, expertise. but right now look to everything with sober realistic eyes. pls help me taking next step