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Assistant: Title: One helluva time with Iruma kun
        Author: 616mcu 616mcu 
        Chapter: 55/60 
        Summary: We know that Iruma is capable of surving pretty much anything. Avoiding danger is just second nature to the little guy, espically when it comes to the underworld. But what happened when his parents sell him to hell ... the wrong hell ... with the wrong demon. In a much cruler world, ful of sadistic radio dear, IMPs that never make his life easier, an angel unable to help, and a plucky princess with dreams, or delusions, of a better tomorrow, can he keep his smile on, or is dispair his ultimate fate?
        Contents: Chapter 55: Chapter 52: Recovery 
    

    
      

        
          
          
            Recovery is not always what we think it is.
          
        

  

  
  
    
    
  Iruma blinked as Blitz locked the door behind them. “... If this is about Loona, I’m sorry.” Iruma may have accepted IMP as part of his life and family, but Blitz was on shaky ground relationship-wise. He was the most likely to kill him on a whim/accident/on purpose, and that wasn’t going into the rather… messy past that Iruma wished he hadn’t learned about. “I was just trying to think of ways to calm her down and biting seemed like the best idea at the time …”

  “As f@ck@d up as that sounds, that isn’t what I want to talk about,”  Blitz muttered as he closed the blinds.

  “You sure ... it feels like you're planning on shooting me at least.” Iruma said honestly.

  “I just … need some answers.” The man sighed. “I need to talk to my sister, alright?”

  “Oh, you have a sister?” He asked with surprise. “How come you never talk about her?”

  Blitz gave him a disbelief look. “What-kid, you’ve met her before!”

  “I have?” Iruma blinked. “Sorry.. I don’t recall. I mean, I’d assume your sister would look a little bit like you but I can’t recall anyone I’ve met that fits that description-”

  “It’s Barbie Wire, dumbass!”

  Well … that threw him for a loop. “Barbie … wait, you’re the brother she hates and wants to murder until you're blue and burn the corpse into ashes she’ll use as pepper?” He asked.

  “YES DUMBASS! WHO ELSE FITS THAT DESCRIPTION!?” Blitz waved his arms frantically.

  “Alastor.”

  Blitz stopped. “...Fair enough.”

  “But why didn’t you say anything earlier?”

  “Because I wanted to give her space.” He sighed. “But after the whole … Yesterday … I just, I just need to see her again …” The imp looked out the window. “And apologize for a LOT of sh@t I did.” Blitz turned back to him, looking really vulnerable. “
  
    Please
  
   kid … 
  
    anything
  
  .”

  … He said please … even if he didn’t, Blitz just seemed so … desperate … 

  Blitz... honestly Blitz was a jerk, no doubt about it… but he was a jerk that was trying to be nice in his own way… even if that way didn’t really work... and... well, he 
  
    was 
  
  the reason he wasn’t by Alastor’s side 24/7. “She planned on going topside for human drugs, that’s all I know.” Iruma sighed. “Said something about getting her asmodean crystal. Like the ones Verosika uses.”

  And then … he was pulled into a hug. “Thank you.” Blitz said honestly, his voice sounded grateful. “Thank you kid, honestly …”

  “No problem…. What are friends for?” Even if he wasn’t the best of friends… he was still a friend for Iruma … and that was more than he could ask for.  “So... are you going to try and call her or…?”

  “I don’t have her number, I need to go find her personally, and … apologize for a lot of sh@t.” He muttered.

  That was probably going to end horribly given how Barbie wanted nothing to do with him. “I can help mediate if you want.”

  “No… I’ve got to clean my own sh@t for once.” Blitz sighed as he started hopping out the window. “Tell the Ms I’ll be gone for a while. Take missions, or don’t, just… just tell them to not find me until I want to be.”

  “Alright…” Iruma waved. “... Good luck, Blitz. I hope it works out for you.”

  “Thanks kid …” The man smiled, before slipping. “SHIIIIIIITTT!”

  
    CRASH
  

  “... He’ll be alright.” Blitz survived worse falls than that, heck, Iruma was pretty sure Loona’s freak out was more deadly than that.

  Speaking of which… “Hmmmmph.” Said hellhound sighed as she sat on the couch, likely bored due to not being able to use her phone with the cone on.

  “You alright, tot?” Millie asked, as Moxxie spoke with a sinner teenager with a lot of water in their stomach visible to the world.

  “I’m fine. Blitz is out, he said we can do whatever we want as long as we don’t go after him.” Iruma shrugged as he took a seat.

  
    “Mmmmm.”
  
   Loona commented from her cone, leaning against him on the couch.

  “That’s… very sus.” Millie glared. “He’s never let any of us take a lead on a mission without him being close by.”

  “Didn’t you guys save Stolas all by yourselves?” Iruma asked. He had a small talk with Octavia during the aftermath of that, and his girlfriend wanted to spend some time alone with her dad for the foreseeable future. Which he fully supported and wished them peace and safety.

  “Well yeah, but that’s cause he was more focused on Loona than he was with his f@ck buddy.” Millie shrugged. “And Moxxie, well, he doesn’t do well when he’s... unguided.”

  “Ahh.” Yet something else he had in common with Moxxie.

  “So you’re saying that you know you were murdered, but unsure of who it was?” They heard said imp speak from the desk as he took notes.

  “Yeah, I drowned in a canoe full of holes.” The kid, going by how young the voice sounded, nodded.

  “You sure it was murder? Could have been termites, rotten wood, or just budget cuts.” Iruma asked, having previous experience.

  “Because it happened right after I found a stash of drugs under the docks.” The wet looking sinner explained. “And right before I drowned, I saw three perfectly clean drilled holes in the bottom. Only the counselors have access to both the docks and the tool shed, so it had to be one of them.”

  “Hmm … are you sure it wasn’t a prank from a camper that just went wrong?” Moxxie asked.

  “I’m sure, the counselors all knew I can’t swim, so there’s always one person at minimum guarding the boats.” Eh, seemed legitimate enough that it was murder.

  “Hm… We usually don’t take investigations, but… it 
  
    is 
  
  a chance to flex our repertoire. What does Blitz think?” Moxxie asked, turning to them.

  “Blitz is gone for the moment. Said we were free to do what we wanted with jobs.” Iruma repeated.

  “... We’re in charge …” Moxxie gave a wide smile, he turned back to the sinner. “Consider the job taken! I’ll pull out the best, most methodical plan to find and catch this killer no problem!” He shouted, running into another room.

  “I better go check on him.” Millie smiled. “He’s adorable when he’s all excited.”

  “… Should I be concerned?” The kid asked him.

  “Depends on whether or not you’re okay with casualties dying while looking for the target.” Iruma answered honestly.

  “... Nah, everyone’s a jerk there.” He shrugged. “Do I just leave my money on the desk or is there a bill system?”

  “You’re new here, and there’s a chance they 
  
    won’t 
  
  succeed, so I advise holding off on payment.” If they were free to do what they want, Iruma would be helpful to someone else that got a raw end of the deal. “So… you enjoying your stay in hell? Find a place to live?

  “Meh, that guy with a TV head looked sort of chill, might take a job from him.”

  “Oh… well he’s tried to kill me, but that’s really only because he hates one of my other bosses.” Iruma shrugged. “Though my advice… if he asks you for your soul, think about what you’re getting into before you sell it... you can’t really take that back.”

  “Thanks for the advice, kid.” The wet sinner smiled.

  “No problem, happy to help.” He waved as the sinner walked away, leaving just him and Loona in the room. “So … you feeling okay after… you know...” He blushed. 

  
    “Mmmm.”
  
   She shrugged, giving him a reassuring pat on the back.

  “Good. It was my first time... you know, to someone else, and even if my teeth aren’t as sharp as yours, I didn’t want to hurt you.” He just tried to calm her down … somehow the moan made him feel weird … like she enjoyed being hurt?

  “Hmmmph.” Loona placed her hand on his own, and patted it reassuringly.

  “Thanks for understanding.” He smiled. “I mean, I’m sure it felt weird for you when you licked me... not saying it felt bad, it felt pretty nice-I mean like I didn’t mind getting licked-why am I suddenly really bad at talking...  more than usual?” Iruma blushed again.

  Loona just let out a muffled laugh as she held him close … and it felt nice … just being held like that … like how Octavia held him … who told him he could be free to …

  Did … did Iruma 
  
    want
  
   that? To date two girls at once? He could barely handle one relationship without constantly feeling like he was flubbing it. Sure Octivia was kind and supportive and said he was perfect and always strove to make him happy, but his parents were always happy with just each other…

  Should... should he 
  
    really 
  
  be basing that standard on the people that sold him to begin with? Iruma was... he was free to be happy by his own merits. To do what made him feel good and happy … “Loona … do-”

  The door opened back up, cutting him off as Moxxie rolled out a longboard, grinning confidently. “I have for us, the perfect plan!”

  Iruma shook his head. Probably for the best he thinks about this later. He looked at the board. “That is a rather… long plan for what you guys usually do.”

  “Of course it is. This is the mission that will NOT dissolve into chaos, young one!” Moxxie exclaimed in an over dramatic manner. “We will be precise, methodical, let no one know we were there, and kill only a drug dealing murderer without ANY civilian casualties!”

  “Hhhhmmmmmph.” Loona muffled.

  “It does sound too good to be true.”

  “That is merely because Blitz, while a great leader, has a habit of …”

  “Self destructing?” Millie asked.

  “Getting distracted?” Iruma added.

  “Mmmmmm?”

  “Impulsive impatience.” The man went on. “Thus, we will be free to handle this WITHOUT going off the rails. By going undercover.”

  “Oh, so you guys finally got human disguises?” Iruma asked.

  “... That's another thing we should be saving up for.” Moxxie muttered. “We need disguises …” 

  “Ooh.” Millie smiled. “We can bring out Iruma’s dress again.”

  
    “MMMMM!”
  
   Loona began struggling against the cone on her face.

  “Why do I need a disguise?” Iruma asked. “I’m human.” Moxxie stared at him for a moment, before pulling out a handheld mirror, showing off his blue hair, cowlick, the jagged lines on his face that supposedly represented his contracts, his blackened left eye with a slit pupil, the fangs on the left side of his … “Right.”

  “I’ll get the make-up!” Millie cheered.

  Iruma grumbled. “Again  … 
  
    why 
  
  does everyone want to see me in a dress?” He was a boy for crying out loud! He shouldn’t look 
  
    that 
  
  good in a dress!

  ========================================================================

  Millie looked over the tot. “Welp … this is the best we can do.” The arm, leg, and back parts were just a no go entirely. Nothin’ she could do would fix up or hide away those inhuman bits. 

  “Oooh, that’s too bad, I guess this just means it wouldn’t work for me.” The tot snapped his fingers. “Which means I should just go back to hell and…” He wiped his brow. “Wow it’s hot up here, is it summer? Makes me wish this fur wasn’t on me-” And it vanished away in an instant … well, there were still claws and bonemarks, but it showed off a smooth, blue skin instead of fur and feathers. He pouted. “Oh even I have to call B…. B… still can’t curse on my own, this sucks!” He stomped his foot.

  “You’ll get there one day tot.” Millie assured him with a smile. “And hey, you're not the only one who has to deal with this kinda stuff. Most of your skin still looks normal.” Especially with the makeup. “Meanwhile people are gonna think I’m a red freak.” She nodded as she put the jersey and the cap on.

  “We can just pass it off as sunburn if anyone asks.” Moxxie smiled as he put the pigtailed wig on to cover his horns.

  “What about the fact your legs are bending the opposite way?” Iruma asked.

  “... Car crash went bad?” Her husband asked her curiously, like he was tryin’ to get a second opinion.

  “It’s not going to be too bad. At worst, they’ll fail and everyone assumes we’re mutant possums again.” It was annoying, but humans could be 
  
    very stupid, 
  
  her tot of course being an exception.

  He nodded. “Alright. Let's review.” Mox coughed, before taking on a feminine voice. “‘I’m Moxxine, the most prettiest, gorgeous, popular girl at my school.’” Millie could buy two out of three of those.

  “I’m Millerd.” Millie put on her own fun voice, sounding deeper. “I love sports and f@ck@n’ b@tch@s!”

  “But if people don’t know hellhounds are real, why would you want them to know you sleep with them?” Iruma questioned.

  “Actually these kids don’t seem to be much older than Iruma, so maybe don’t mention that last part.” Moxxie brought up as he looked with a pair of binoculars.

  “Okay, then … I’m… Irumi..” Her tot muttered. “Quiet transfer student from Japan that wants to keep her head down.”

  “Excellent backstory Iruma, they’ll never suspect a thing!” Moxxie praised.

  “It wasn’t hard to come up with.” The boy rolled his eyes.

  “Now, we talk with the campers, slowly gain information, and when it’s time … strike the culprit. They’ll never suspect a thing.” Mox smirked as he handed her the binoculars. “It may take a few days, maybe even a few weeks, but with careful observation, we can get it done-!”

  “Actually I think I found the b@st@rd already.” Millie nodded as she took a glance in a certain direction.

  
    “Really?”
  
   They asked in surprise.

  “Yeah, the guy right there in the camp counselor outfit carrying a bag of drugs and money.” She pointed, the human making a poor attempt to be sneaky.

  “Yeah, that would be my first choice too.” Iruma nodded as he took a sniff of the air. “Guy does smell like drugs and shame.”

  “What does shame smell like?”

  “Guilt and salt.”

  “Hold on, hold on.” Moxxie spoke up. “I’m sure from first glance he looks like a likely target; but it’s never that obvious in an investigation.”

  “And now he’s going into that cabin, and coming out with a power drill that looks used and a bottle of Lipton Bleach, with the tagline ‘best tool for removing fingerprints’.” Millie commented to list off.

  “Again, surprised I never worked for that company.” Iruma nodded. “I probably would’ve ended up in hell sooner … anyone know what they’re up to these days?”

  “Last I checked, the two old f@ck@rs took that Wally b@st@rd’s machine making business and left him for squat.” Millie smirked. Fun bit of irony for someone that just took money himself. “Anyways, we gonna kill the sweaty looking sh@tbag now?”

  “I mean, just because-”

  “Looks like he also has a secret hideout right by the docks covered in posters of that dead kid.” Millie pointed out again. “What do you know, we’re gonna finish today’s job in five minutes or less, a new record.”

  “Sweet, I’m going to be able to ditch this dress.” The tot smiled. “I really didn’t want to keep wearing this thing.” He began pulling off the clothes.

  “Guess everything’s going to wrap up nice and neatly Mox-” Millie turned to her husband, who looked dejected.

  “Yeah, I guess..” Moxxie muttered. “Just ... end thing here, why not?”

  Oh boy, it was another one of those moments. Sighing, Millie stored away her pack of weapons. “Alright Mox, we’ll do it your way.”

  “Wait what?” The tot paused. “But we already know-” 

  “We’ll get information on the target through investigation.” She smiled.

  “... Alright then!” Mox cheered up, switching to his ‘girly voice’. “Let’s go meet the popular girls and grab intel, Irumi.”

  “… One second… Moxxine…” Iruma took her hand and pulled her over to the side. “What are you doing?” He whispered. “You had it nailed Millie, like, this could be the fastest and cleanest and least guilt ridden mission we could’ve had!”

  “I know I know, but, look at the poor man.” Millie nodded to Moxxie. “Being in charge means a lot to him.”

  “But we already know who did it. Literally 
  
    everything 
  
  we do that isn’t that is a waste of time.” Iruma stated. “And if there’s one thing I don’t like that isn’t Alastor, my parents, most of the angels, Greed in general, and wasting food, it’s wasting time.”

  She winced, gently rubbing his back. “Let’s just say Moxxie really wants to up his game.” Between failing to do anything against that b@st@rd of a father and failing to comfort her, he probably was questioning his self worth. Which was a bit weird considering he did pretty great against Striker with that s@x joke.

  “... “ Iruma sighed. “Fine.”

  “Thanks Iruma, it means a lot-”“

  “But I want something in return.”

  “Of course tot.” Millie rubbed his head. “Anything you want.”

  “You can’t complain about Octavia and Loona for a week for every day this takes.”

  “…. I am both annoyed and very proud of you right now.” Millie hugged the boy. “This shouldn’t take 
  
    that 
  
  long anyways. Moxxie’ll wise up eventually.” Just needed a bit of a moment to shine. “I’ll go hang out with the boys, Moxxie will go over to the girls, you can find a group of outcasts that also wanna be alone.” Maybe some more normal friends for the kid.

  “I’m not counting on it.” Iruma moaned as he walked over to Moxxie.

  Okay, ‘Millerd’, time to show off your one personality trait, and play some f@ck@n’ spots. She walked off to see some kids playin’ volleyball … seemed fun enough. “Hey, move over and give me a f@ck@n’ spot!”

  ========================================================================

  Sir Pentious lightly patted the egg bois’ head. “Now, what have we said about living inside of this hotel, egg boi 302?”

  “Don’t go into other people’s rooms, or we’ll be horribly traumatized by actions we can not unsee.” They answered with a smile.

  “I saw creampies that weren’t pies at all!” Egg boi 906 shouted.

  “I saw a cape made out of rat liver!” Egg boi 286 yelled.

  “I saw Ms. Charlie do 
  unspeakable
   things to the moth lady!” Egg boi 069 cried out.

  “Hold on, tell me more.” Angel Dust snickered as he leaned down from his chair at the bar. “Ms. Princess 
  
    has 
  
  a s@x life? I thought it was like Bigfoot, non-existent.”

  “Okay, three things.” The princess started defensively. “One, Bigfoot is real.”

  “You sssssssssshould form a lissssssst of what’sssss real at sssssssome point.” Pentious suggested.

  “Two, I told you multiple times that me and Vaggie have a very healthy and proactive s@x life.”

  “Saying and believing are two different things.” Angel Dust smirked. “Short of doing it in front of us I was never going to believe it.”

  “And three … why were you watching that!?” She cried out in horror at 069.

  “I was running from the lady with a knife in the vents.” He pointed to Nifty.

  “Why will no one let me make omelets?” The little maniac pouted. “If I make a big enough one, maybe Iruma will appreciate it enough to bite me!” 

  “Are you still on that?” Angel Dust rolled his eyes. “Let it go already, it’s never gonna happen.”

  “Well I can’t ask anyone else.” The gremlin groaned. “Vaggie’s a girl, you’re into guys, Pentious is a fake bad boy, and Al doesn’t like anyone that way.”

  Pentious’ self-esteem got lowered. Again. “Heeey…. You could be lesssssss blunt about it.”

  “And besides, Iruma bit his doggie friend, so I have a chance!”

  “Nifty, that was to calm down a girl who was very scared of needles.” Charlie corrected. “There was nothing s@xual about it.”

  “The moan said otherwise.” Husk pointed out.

  “Not helping.” Charlie glared. “And it at least was one of his calmer activities with IMP, no death whatsoever.”

  
    “A wrong choice in a split I must say.”
  
   Alastor chuckled from the entrance as he and a bunch of shadows carried in some bags. 
  
    “I was far more interested in whatever that cowboy was up to. A killer of the hierarchy and the one who crippled Young Suzuki. Fun man.”
  

  “F@ck 
  
    off 
  
  Alastor!”

  
    “Even when I was willing to get the groceries so this hotel doesn’t starve with Suzuki’s appetite in mind? Princess, please pick your timing.”
  
   The man smirked.

  “I don’t have the-ugh… just no… not today..” Charlie muttered as she rubbed her head. “How about instead, I introduce you all to today’s activity? Understanding feelings.”

  “I can 
  
    understand 
  
  you have the urge to rip Alastor apart, does that count?” Angel Dust raised his hand.

  “Ooh, is it like how you guys should understand how much love I put into each stabbing?” Nifty jumped up and down excitedly.

  “Or how much you need to understand how much I want to be left the f@ck alone?” Husk suggested with a groan.

  “I was indicating more toward the line of having empathy for people, even when they have experience dissimilar to your own.” Charlie explained.

  “You mean asss if how I sssshhhould feel ssssssorry for Nifty being born deranged even iffff I’m not?” Pentious questioned with his eyebrow raised, his hat mirrored him.

  
    “Yes yes, pity, the most degrading and insufferable of actions, very well told Ms. Charlotte.” 
  
  Alastor slowly clapped.

  “Says the man with no care for anyone but himself.” Vagatha grumbled.

  
    “Oh that’s not true at all. I care about supporting the endeavors of things I find entertaining along with making sure all my slaves are as miserable as possible.”
  
   Alastor snickered. 
  “It’s why I allow Young Suzuki to embark on his little excursion to summer camp today in spite of the lack of Blitz’s incompetence ruining everything for everyone.”

  “They’re killing children now?” Charlie grumbled as she slammed her face into her hands.

  
    “Sadly not, just a counselor that killed a kid who ended up in hell like everyone does, but who knows what casualties will occur? Maybe Young Suzuki will get himself crippled saving someone or he’ll grow numb and let them die, who’s to say?”
  

  “… Just turn up the radio so I can mentally prepare how to handle Iruma’s trauma.” Charlie sighed as she shook her head. 

  
    “Moxxie-”
  
   Iruma’s annoyed voice, a rather rare occurrence, spoke up.

  
    “Moxxine, keep in character.
  
  ” The voice of the male imp said, sounding effete.

  
    “Moxxine … why do I have to come with you? Wasn’t my whole role supposed to be the girl that wants to be far away from everyone?”
  

  “Iruma’s being a girl?” Vaggie blinked.

  “Oh yeah, for some reason everyone likes to see him in a dress.” Nifty shrugged. “Honestly I think he’d be better in a gown and spiked collar.”

  “That sounded kinky until it came out of your mouth.” Angel Dust shuddered. “Still, crossdressing is enough to increase my investment by at least five percent.”

  
    “We’re firmly establishing character and providing alibi for the others’ stories. It’d be too strange if ‘Irumi’ just walked around everywhere without anyone knowing why.”
  

  
    “Wouldn’t it be better to do that by playing games or something like Millie-”
  

  
    “Code names. Irumi.”
  

  
    “-Millerd’s doing with volleyball?”
  

  
    “Earth girls don’t play games, Irumi. They lounge around in malls and talk about boys while belittling each other with veiled compliments behind their backs.”
  

  Nifty blankly stared at the radio. “... I feel … genuinely insulted.” She turned to Alastor. “Can I stab the radio?”

  
    “I would prefer you don’t, but I won’t stop you if you try.”
  

  
    “I mean, I know people can be jerks but that sounds more like what I read out of First Love Memories.”
  

  
    “Fiction and fact blend well in that respect, Irumi. The key here is to speak their language, which is confidence with a side of condescension and thinly veiled vapid superiority.”
  

  “... Wasssss he alwaysssss thissss judgemental?” Pentious asked Vagatha, feeling unimpressed.

  “I’m not sure. I thought he was the spineless but somewhat moral one.” The woman scratched her head.

  
    “Now, simply let me do the talking, alright?”
  

  
    “Sure sure, go ahead.”
  

  “This is going to be a flaming train wreck.” Husk muttered.

  The sounds suggested they were approaching new people. 
  
    “So the new guy working here, I gotta say he’s a seven out of ten.”
  

  
    “Well yeah, in looks. He’s got the eyes of a guy who pays for one night just to bang and leave you alone.”
  

  
    “Ugh, so lame. Just like the @ssh@l@ that crushed up those mentos and tried to pass it off as coke. Moron got diabetes from the 
    
      literal 
    
    booger sugar.”
  

  “Please don’t tell me all human teenagers are that vulgar from a young age.” Charlie shook her head.

  “Eh, been a while since we’ve been up top.” Angel Dust shrugged. “Most kids from what I remember were little @ssh@l@s in the making.”

  “Mosssstly becaussssse they never underssssstood right from wrong yet.” Pentious agreed.

  
    “It’s a combination of nature and nurture that produces who we are, and what most people end up becoming is lowly degenerates that have little to no value to society.”
  
   Alastor chuckled.

  
    “Seriously, f@ck Derik.”
  

  
    “Yeaaah, Derik’s the f@ck@ng worst, right?”
  
   Moxxie added himself to the voice of the girls with an admittedly overdone tone.

  
    “Uh. Who the f@ck are you?”
  
   One of the girl’s asked with a clearly justifiably annoyed tone.

  
    “I'm Moxxine, I'm the prettiest girl at my school, and all the boys want me. My favorite coloooooor is hot pink. Because normal pink is sooo basic. I like horses, puppies, fast cars, jewelry, and I got my first period last year, and it was sooo heavy!”
  

  “... Husk.” Angel turned to the bartender with a solemn look. “Get the REALLY strong stuff.”

  “Already started the second he used that fake obscene voice.” The cat demon muttered as he poured multiple glasses.

  Pentious downed his as fast as he could. 
  
    “Mox-Moxxine, tone it back.”
  
   Iruma muttered. 
  
    “No one wants to hear … that.”
  

  “It’s so cringey it’s breaking through his naivety.” Vagatha muttered as she put down her glass. “Yeah, if this is going to last long I need more than one.”

  “I … I’m sure that this … is the worst of it.” Charlie spoke with a VERY strained smile. “It’s not like … he can get worse.”

  
    “Sorry, just guess that, like makes me more mature than your average preteen.”
  
   Moxxie kept going in that annoying voice. 
  
    “Hormones and boys just swarming this bod all over, like a party in my v@g@n@ or whatever.”
  

  The princess stared at the radio, before gulping the nearest substance down. “I’m ashamed to be a woman.” She moaned.

  
    “We’re all suffering here, Princess.”
  
   Alastor solemnly nodded as even he took a sip. 
  
    “Even Young Suzuki’s piano skills seem like a more humane form of torment … still recording it for a rainy day however.”
  

  
    “So like, let’s be friends or whatever.”
  

  There was a notable silence in the air as Pentious could only assume the young ladies were staring in either horror or confusion. 
  
    “Where the f@ck do I even begin to start?”
  

  
    “How about we start with her f@ck@n’ overdone, three hour tan?”
  
   The one with hispanic accent pointed out.

  
    “It’s... natural…”
  
   Moxxie’s voice was getting weak.

  
    “You mean like your ‘natural’ looking knees that bend the wrong f@ck@ng way?”
  
   Another asked.
  
     “They look like f@ck@n’ goat hooves.”
  

  
    “… She got kicked by a horse.”
  
   Iruma spoke up.

  
    “Hey!”
  

  
    “You want the story to be believable.”
  
   Iruma muttered a whisper. 
  
    “Got kicked 
    
      real 
    
    bad, this was the best they could do for her.”
  

  
    “Yet they couldn’t fix her voice, such a shame.”
  
   Another mocked with a snicker. 
  “Why don’t you get your fake ten dollar b@@b job out of here before you embarrass yourself more.”

  “Daaamn, girls are a LOT more savage than I remember.” Angel smirked. “I gotta take notes.”

  “I’m just amazed how bad their disguises are and they’re 
  
    still 
  
  not called out for being demons.” Vagatha muttered.

  “Religion is dead in the modern world.” Husk shrugged.

  
    “Right … come on … Moxxine, we should leave now.”
  
   Iruma started.

  
    “Oh no, Japanese girl, you can stay.”
  
   One of the girls stated. 
  
    “You're not trying to be a poser looking to be cool, which makes you cool.”
  

  
    “I … what?”
  
   He responded with confusion. 
  
    “But I got freaky stuff like Moxxie-Moxxine.”
  

  
    “You have like, a super cute foreign sense of fashion that tries hard; but not like too hard.”
  

  
    “Plus we got this whole diversity group we’re trying to build, and a Japanese girl would complete the camp clique.”
  

  “…. I don’t know how to take that…”
   Iruma muttered. 
  
    “And you just spent all this time insulting my friend. I mean they were asking for it but …”
  

  
    “Irumi, just go with them.”
  
   Moxxie whispered. 
  
    “I’ll work my way into the crowd another way.”
  

  
    “Alright …”
  
   The child conceded. 
  
    “So … I’m Irumi … nice to meet you.”
  

  
    “You too.”
  
   Another girl greeted. 
  
    “So, sausages or clams?”
  
   She questioned with a tease.

  
    “Like food preference? I’m more of a sausage person because they fill you up, although clams will do well in a pinch when you’re stuck on a beach …”
  

  One of the girls snorted. 
  
    “Was that some sort of translation error or her sense of humor, it was great either way.”
  

  
    “Stick with us, girl. We can show you how to have a fun time in this lame place.”
  

  
    “Eh, can’t be any worse than the last camp I went to. I doubt there’s a hatchet wielding mask wearing maniac on the loose.”
  

  
    “Ha, humor really is on point.”
  

  “... Welp, I believe today is the first time I’ve officially lost my sex drive.” Angel Dust admitted. “Moxxine shall forever haunt my nightmares.”

  “I feel like I need to burn every dress I own just because he looked at female clothing and violated them by wearing it.” Vaggie shuddered.

  “Let’s … look on the bright side!” Charlie shouted, smiling. “Iruma will get some human friends, and possibly rekindle his love of Earth.”

  
    “Yes, by hiding his name and gender on a constant basis in a camp full of toxic people.”
  
   Alastor smirked. 
  
    “There’s 
    
      no 
    
    way that’ll affect how he lives and views the world around him and carries himself. Absolutely 
    
      nothing 
    
    can go awry in that setup.”
  

  The princess twitched in place. “Please tell me she’s finally recognizing sarcasm.” Angel Dust asked.

  “She can detect it about seventy five percent of the time now.” Vagatha shrugged with a sigh. “Please tell me they’re gonna end this mission quickly.”

  
    “Oh, they already learned who the killer is.”
  
   Alastor smirked. 
  
    “They’re just indulging our little Moxxie due to his tiny ego and his belief that he can do a mission with complete success.”
  

  “....Fuuuuuuuuuuccck.” Pentious slammed his head into the ground, feeling empathy, pity, AND dread all at once with what that meant. “They’re going to be there for a loooong time.”

  ========================================================================

  Verosika smirked as she listened to the broadcast. 
  
    “So Irumi, what do you think of this crop top? Good, or bad?”
  

  
    “I mean compared to my dress, it’s a lot more practical for being in the woods.”
  
   The little cutie was taking the opportunity to crossdress in stride, the broadcast showing the boy blending in marvelously with a group of girls. A shame that there was no video to personally see it, now THAT would really drive her crazy. 
  “Sweat absorption, chest support, and freedom of arms, probably the most practical thing you can wear.”

  
    “You seem to focus a lot on practicality over style in spite of wearing said dress.”
  

  
    “I mean … it wasn’t really 
    
      my
    
     choice to wear this… my… sort of... Mom just likes dressing me up.”
  

  
    “Ahhh, you got a smother mother, been there, done that.”
  
   One of the girls replied with annoyance. 
  
    “Let me guess, she constantly drags you around with hobbies you don’t like and squeezes you all the time?”
  

  
    “... It’s like you’re reading my mind.”
  
   Weirdest way for the cutie to make friends in his own age, but good for him nonetheless. 
  
    “And I constantly tell her and remind her ‘No, I don’t like doing what you like doing’, but it’s like it’s in one ear and out the other with her… honestly I don’t even know if she even has ears.”
  

  
    “Pffft, parents only like seeing what they want and hearing what they want.”
  
   Another girl spoke up. 
  
    “Tell you what, why don’t I get you that, along with these short shorts. It’ll keep off the heat, 
    
      and
    
     show off those legs of yours for the boys and girls.”
  

  
    “God, I wished Millerd looked at my legs. That grin is just … gah.”
  
   Another one said with a swoon.

  
    “The way he spikes b@lls and sends kids to the hospital. Those muscles are to die for!”
  

  
    “PLEASE MARRY ME MILLERD!”
  

  
    “Guess Millie-Millerd’s pretty popular around here.”
  
   Iruma… or rather, Irumi in this case (cute, she was DEFINITELY going to remember that for later) mumbled. 
  
    “Good for them.”
  

  
    “You’ve known that dude for ages and you don’t want their lips on yours?”
  
   Another asked with small disbelief. 
  
    “How can you not just drool from how f@ck@ng hot they are?”
  

  
    “Well, I already have a girlfriend for one...”
  
   Irumi explained simply

  
    “Oh, so you aaaare a clam girl.”
  

  
    “… If that’s a reference to sexuality, according to Verosika I’m demisexual.”
  

  
    “Wait, like, Verosika as in Verosika 
    
      Mayday
    
    ? The like, famous pop star?”
  
   There were definitely blinks from the girls.

  
    “Yeah, she’s a friend of mine, I helped her out once, she kissed me, and I now occasionally help with her backstage crew.”
  

  
    “...You got kissed by the most popular pop star…. Ever? And you’re on a first name basis with her?”
  

  
    “Yeah.”
  

  
    “....Irumi… you are living the dream and I want your life.”
  

  
    “That’s the first time someone has ever said that to me… thanks.”
  
   Maybe she could use this as an excuse to get him to dress up more often. That face was TOO adorable to not be seen in a dress.

  There was a knock on the door. Rolling her eyes at the interruption, Verosika got up and opened the door. “Hey Vero-” And she slammed the door shut on the imp f@ck@r.

  “B@st@rd.” She mumbled. What the f@ck was he even going at her house for? How the f@ck did he even find it?!

  The door kept knocking. “Look, I know you’re here now, so open the door before I shoot it open! I just want to talk!”

  “And I don’t want to talk, @ssh@l@!” She shouted back. “It’s why I switched phone numbers when you tried a lame ass sorry story for the SEVENTH time!”

  “I’m not here to apologize to you!”

  “That makes me less likely to open the door, you slimy pr@ck!” Not like he would ever MEAN it to begin with. That would require Blitzo to actually give a f@ck about the people around him.

  “I just need to talk about Barbie, alright!” The b@st@rd yelled.

  That confused Verosika even more... because the chances of Blitzo talking to his sister were even 
  
    less 
  
  likely than his chances to talk with her. “What the f@ck are you getting at?” She asked as she opened the door.

  He groaned. “Look, I need to talk to her, and my best lead at the moment is that she’s using asmodean crystals, and I know for a fact she isn’t living in a world that lame.”

  “Just because you want to talk to her doesn’t mean she wants to see you.” Verosika poked his head angrily.

  “I know she doesn’t, but I need to try and make things right, alright.” He groaned. “I didn’t immediately go after her, but … recent events made me think time is short and stuff.”

  “You mean your boyfriend being in the hospital?”

  “He’s not my-!”

  Verosika’s glare narrowed further. “Of course he isn’t, because then you’d be with him right now instead of this pointless quest of yours.”

  “It’s 
  
    not 
  
  pointless-!”

  “Sh@th@@d, if there’s anything I learned about your sister when we were in rehab, it’s that she hates you probably more than I do.” She growled, before smirking. “And she f@cks harder than you too.”

  “Agggh; you sorry little-!” Blitzo growled, banging his head on the wall. He took a breath. “… I didn’t come to fight, I didn't come to argue, I just… I just want to do something right for once. Get your barbs in, kick my ass, whatever you want… I…I just need some help…. Any kind of help… please.”

  “...” She sighed. “There’s a shop for crystals you can try on bl@wj@b lane, it’s pretty well guarded though. That’s where they keep registration.” Why did she indulge him?

  “Thank you …” He turned away. “... And for what it’s worth … sorry for everything.”

  “Ugh… Blitzo, do you know what the worst part of it is?” Verosika grumbled. “It’s that you 
  
    know 
  
  you’re a sh@tty person, you 
  
    know 
  
  you need to apologize… but you always f@ck@ng wait until no one gives a cr@p enough to care.” He didn’t say anything, but walked away regardless. “F@ck@ng …” She shook her head.

  Why did this 
  
    always 
  
  happen? Back when she used to give a flying f@ck about what he thought, she would’ve just accepted the apology. She would’ve believed him. Heck, she might’ve even forgave him for the credit card maxing ... but not anymore ... not when the f@ck@r realized too f@ck@ng late he needed to change.

  That man was gonna crash and burn one day … and 
  
    no one
  
   would pick him up. She tried to do that for him…. But he’d rather die than admit he was wrong. That was just the cycle.

  ========================================================================

  Moxxie watched in slight dismay as the two leaned against each other. “Gotta say, didn’t expect I’d have such a blast up here.” Millie smiled. “I feel like a superstar.”

  “And I thought I would hate wearing women’s clothing for a week; but the girls in my cabin know some great brands.” Iruma smiled as he looked down at his more casual camper girl appearance. “I don’t know why you guys kept putting me in frilly stuff, crop tops are the way to go.”

  “That was 
  
    my 
  
  disguise choice.” Moxxie muttered. It had been a week since they’ve started, and things had been… less progressive than he would’ve liked.

  “You just have a natural beauty to ya, tot, like apparently I fit naturally as your common jock boy.” Millie grinned.

  “Yeah … wish they would stop inviting me to shower with them in the bathroom though, I’d give myself away as a guy and then THAT would be awkward.” Iruma rolled his eyes.

  “Just as long as they keep their hands off of ya, I’ll trust you to not do anything too rash.” Millie chuckled. “It’s so weird people praising me for who I am, and not screaming, or running away in terror.”

  “It’s weirder for me finding humans that like me instead of just demons.” Iruma laughed. “I mean seriously, why couldn’t I have gotten a job here at one point?”

  “Speaking of jobs...” Moxxie muttered as he shook the dirt off of him. “Shouldn’t we get back to ours?”

  “You mean we're finally going to off the shady looking b@st@rd we spotted the second we got here?” Millie asked as she took out the knife.

  “No; I mean, we need to list of the suspects-”

  “There are no suspects, we already 
  
    know 
  
  who it is.” Iruma pointed out.

  “We can go there and take him out anytime, or we can just keep up the act of being humans until you feel ready.” Millie added.

  “But, I mean, everyone here is always busy and getting loud and-”

  “Moxxie, just admit you want to keep up the act, I honestly don’t mind.” Iruma shrugged. “Sure the reason Alastor hasn’t called me back down to hell is probably because he’s laughing at my expense as we speak, but I’m having too much fun to really care.”

  “Yeah, and... I feel really good here.” Millie smiled as she stood up. “It’s like... It’s like…. 
  
    Every day, as I walk around camp.”
  
   His wife sang out. 
  
    “All of these girls follow me around.”
  
   She looked to a newly formed screaming audience. 
  
    “I don't know why, or what could it be?”
  

  
    “Hey, Millerd! HAH! Will you take a selfie with me?!”
  
   A girl asked with a grin, which they complied with. “AAAAHHH!”

  
    “Ah wa oh! I'm a regular Joe.”
  
   Millie sang as ‘Milderd’ became 
  
    more
  
   popular. 
  
    “Ah wa oh! I want the world to know.”
  

  “His guitar skills rule!”

  “I play guitar too...” Moxxie tried to speak up, only to get run over by the surrounding crowd.

  
    “Ah wa oh! I'm simple and plain.” 
  
  Was she 
  
    really 
  
  bragging about this?! “
  
    Why do all these girls….Keep screaming my name???”
  

  “Millerd! Millerd! Millerd! MillerdOMYGOSH!” Like it wasn’t obvious … because guy or girl, they were the hot one.

  “ERDaaaAAAAAD!!” One screamed, foaming at the mouth and falling to the ground.

  “She’s choking, she needs mouth to mouth!” At that the crowd screamed even louder.

  
    “Millerd!!! Ah!!” 
  
  He thought his wife was beautiful but why were all the young prepubescent girls just… swarming her for being herself?! 
  
    “Millerd, I love you!!!”
  

  “Can you believe this, Iruma?” Moxxie rolled his eyes. “She’s just wasting time-Iruma?” He looked around. “Iruma? Irumi?”

  He could see the boy smiling as he walked around. 
  
    “I just wanted to blend in, Just hide in the dark.”
  
   They stood under shadows, before some girls waved him over. 
  
    “But these girls are so friendly, It sort of lights a spark!”
  

  The boy ran over as he joined the girls as they held hands together. “
  
    Sure a dress is something I’d rather not strut.” 
  
  A couple of beefy looking boys walked past the group. 
  
    “And for some reason guys want to slap my b@tt.”
  

  “Hey, hands off perv!” The jerky freckled one slapped one of them that was trying to reach for Iruma’s behind. “She has a girlfriend!”

  
    “It might be too soon, but I’d call these girls my friends.” 
  
  The boy smiled brightly. 
  
    “With gossip and s’mores, I almost hope it never ends!”
  
   He hugged the trio tightly, before leaping into the air. 
  
    “Awah ooh! I’m just a common girl! Awah ooh! This camp took me for a whirl!”
  
   They cried, spinning around as they fell into a puddle. 
  
    “Awah ooh! This mission was actually fun again! Finally for once; people know my name!”
  

  “Why does he have that I don’t? My voice is actually trying to be feminine. And I have better hips.” Moxxie muttered. He put so much thought into this persona… yet everyone was overlooking it.

  
    “I'm so ordinary. Just a common dude.”
  
   Millie cried out, looking at her phone. 
  
    “But, they're all up in my DMs, they keep sending me nudes-gah!”
  
   And immediately tossed it into the lake. 
  
    “I'm nothing special. I'll tell you it's true.”
  

  “You got that right.” They weren’t trying, they were just... being themselves. Where was the backbreaking effort that 
  
    he was 
  
  putting out?!

  
    “Millerd! Over here! I baked a cake for you!” 
  
  Another crazed fan shouted as they tossed a fully decorated cake over to them.

  Moxxie rolled his eyes as Iruma narrated his adventures. 
  
    “First we went canoeing, then hiked on a trail!”
  
   He exclaimed with a grin as they made friendship bracelets in a group circle.

  
    “Got lost on the path, but we laughed as we failed!”
  
   He laughed with the girls as they had a pillow fight in the middle of the night. 
  
    “Then we sat by the campfire, and sung for hours, And just to be nice; I gave them all flowers.”
  
   He pulled out a bouquet of flowers to hand to the group, making the group blush red.

  “Oh come on, they’re not 
  
    that 
  
  attractive!” Moxxie cried out of the air.

  “Step aside Drag show, you’re in the way of Millerd’s reprise!” A camper threw him aside as Millie continued singing as she and Iruma met up on stage.

  
    “Ah wa oh! I'm regular Joe.”
  
   Millie sang.

  
    “Ah wa oh! I guess I’ll go with the flow.”
  
   Iruma cried out as the two spun in a circle as the crowds cheered.

  
    “Ah wa oh! I'm simple and plain.”
  
   … No she wasn’t …

  
    “I guess we’ll just accept these girls  …”
  
   Accept that …

  
    
      “Will remember our names!”
    
  
   And Moxxie … will be left in the dust as always …

  “We just had our first musical number together!” Millie squeezed the boy with big, happy smile.

  “Yeah… I guess we did.” Iruma smiled as he hugged Millie back. “I’m glad we had this week to spend together ... it’s … nice to hang out as a family.”

  “It is nice...” She sighed in content.

  … Feeling his eyes wet, Moxxie made his way to the outhouse. He just … needed to be alone right now. “Why is this happening? Why why why why?” Why was he such a failure right now? He should've had all the intel and data on everyone in camp right now ... but he accomplished 
  
    nothing 
  
  in the past week …

  “Moxxie, you alright?” Millie knocked on the door. “Are you crying?”

  “No; it’s just my time of the month!” Moxxie yelled back, hoping that would keep her away.

  “Wait, do boys have that?” Iruma asked. “Have I not reached puberty yet? Or is it a male demon thing?”

  “It’s not a thing at all.” His wife said in an annoyed voice. “Mox, you know you can talk to me, right?”

  “How can I talk to you? You’ve been busy all week getting chased around and praised for being yourself.” Moxxie grumbled. “It’s like you’re not taking this job seriously at all-”

  
    Push 
  

  The outhouse was pushed over on its side. “Agh, gross what the f@ck-!” Moxxie cried out as he reached for the door.

  “Not taking it seriously-Mox, what the hell is wrong with you?” Millie glared as he got out. “
  
    I 
  
  found the killer, 
  
    you 
  
  wanted to stay at this camp. Do 
  
    not 
  
  get snippy with me over what 
  
    you 
  
  wanted.”

  What he wanted … what he wanted … 
  
    what he wanted
  
   … “I just want to feel useful!” He shouted.

  “You are useful, Mox-”

  “No I’m not!” He exclaimed. “You’re prettier than me, stronger than me, faster than me! When I try fighting Striker you’re the only one who got close to making him sweat and he only left because a statue fell on him! We were both worn out and he could have killed us if the struggle went on! I got caught by my dad for standing up to him, I can’t stop Alastor from hurting Iruma, I could barely hold off one angel when you managed to pin seven of them in one go! I couldn’t stop Iruma from suffering on Earth, I can’t stop Blitz from ruining this company, I couldn’t help at all when Mammon was in control! Everyone knows you guys are just … just …” Better … at him … in everything … “This … was my one chance to prove I could still do something … and you both did it better than me …”

  Millie looked at him. “Moxxie..”

  “I know-”

  
    Slap 
  

  “Ow!” Moxxie cried out in pain, his cheek stinging. “What was that-!”

  “The only one that doesn’t see your accomplishments is 
  
    you, 
  
  and I get that.” Miliie glared at him, closing her fists. “You don’t think I don’t feel the same way about myself? I do 
  
    all 
  
  the time! Back at the ranch, I was overshadowed by everyone! My accomplishments, murders, farming, it didn’t mean much compared to my brothers! The only thing I had going for me back then was being the girl, and I even lost 
  
    that 
  
  when Sallie May transitioned!”

  Moxxie paused, caught off guard. “Millie... I...”

  “I understand how you feel, but you could’ve ended this mission a week ago, but I went along with it. We, 
  
    your family…” 
  
  She waved to Iruma. “Went along with it because we support 
  
    you
  
  . And I 
  
    had 
  
  hoped my 
  
    husband 
  
  would’ve been just as supportive of 
  
    me 
  
  as I have of him.”

  Millie marched away irritably, leaving the two of them alone. “… For the record, I saved up seven weeks of Millie not being mean to Loona and Octavia, so I would have been fine either way.” Iruma raised his hand.

  “What … what the hell have I been doing?” Moxxie rubbed his head, feeling very guilty.

  “I just thought you wanted to dress up like a girl by this point.” Iruma spoke as he sat down on a log. “Which, for the comfortable and non-frilly clothing, I totally get. Even if I’m stuck in suits all my life, it's a nice alternative to a t-shirt and cargo shorts.”

  “No… I’m so focused on myself I completely ignored what Millie was feeling.” Moxxie sighed. “And I’m… I’m trying 
  
    so 
  
  hard to not be a failure.”

  Iruma looked at him. “Okay, normally this would be the moment I hug you and tell you it’s okay, but you’re covered in sewerage right now.”

  “That’s completely fair.” Definitely needed a shower.

  “And also this will probably be the best time to tell you this … stop trying to not be a failure … because you are.” The boy said like he was commenting on the air.

  “… I’ve failed as a father.” Moxxie muttered as he fell to the ground.

  “Probably.” Iruma nodded. “And that’s okay.”

  “…. I’m not sure you know how an inspirational speech is supposed to go.”

  “Moxxie, I get the feeling of feeling bad for not being able to do anything yourself.” Iruma brought up. “I’m a nobody on Earth and it’s by the sheer dumb luck and niceness of 
  
    demons 
  
  that I’m anywhere at all! Heck, I work for a company where the main job is killing people and can’t even do THAT!”

  “To be fair, you’re here against your will.” He noted softly.

  “And yet I still come to work anyway. I stopped complaining all the time. Because in the end, nobody’s going to care if you're a failure … cause when you fail, you’ll learn to fail in another way, and another and another until you fail in every way, and then you’ll finally be able to work your way into success eventually.” Iruma smiled. “Yes, being in hell sucks on a lot of fronts … but that can’t stop you from having a good time, from having a good life. You saved Octavia’s dad. You guys 
  
    saved
  
   me from dying on multiple occasions, and… you made me feel less lonely... even all those times you killed my bosses... I didn’t feel so… isolated.” The boy’s face softened, looking tranquil.

  “... Thank you, Iruma. That … that means a lot to me.” Moxxie smiled.

  “I like helping.” The boy grinned. “... But seriously, shower. Now.”

  “Got it.” Moxxie sighed. “Alright. First I shower, then I apologize, and then… we end this the way we should’ve a week ago.”

  “Yeah… I mean, going by our track record, it can still be the cleanest job we’ve ever had.” Iruma nodded. “No one learned we’re demons, no one died, and no one’s traumatized me forever yet.”

  “You’re right, this job isn’t a failure!” Moxxie cheered. “We can still proudly go to Blitz with a completely successful job led by me!”

  ========================================================================

  Alright Blitz, you spent a week blowing through as many leads in L@st and Sloth as you could. You grabbed a b@ttpl@g asmodean crystal from an incubus’ ass, and were now in a forest on Earth, about to leap into a cabin that probably had your sister in it. “F@ck, this better be it.” He had wasted too much time already... and burned through too many bridges, to let this fail now. Quick and fast … three two … one … go!

  Crash

  He leapt through a window. “Barb!”

  “Blitz!?” She screamed in a human disguise, shocked and angry.

  Crash

  Another window was broken. “Suspect!” Moxxie shouted-

  “Mox!?” He screamed in surprise.

  Mox blinked. “Blitz?”

  “Blitz?” Iruma-

  “Iruma!?”

  “Iruma?” Barbie questioned.

  “Barbie?”

  “Mox!” Blitz glared.

  “Blitz!”

  “Jimmy!” … Everyone turned to some f@ck@r shouting a random ass name. He smiled weakly. “…. I thought it was a group thing.”

  “Not now Jimmy!” His sister screamed. “What the f@ck is going on!?”

  “You know what, I’d like to know too.” He turned to the two with a frown. “I know I said do whatever, but did you really have to take a mission today of all days? Isn’t it supposed to be the kid’s day off or whatever?”

  “Actually we’ve been at this for a week.”  The kid nodded.

  “Since when are you a drag queen?” Barbie asked curiously.

  “People like putting me in dresses for some reason.” He shrugged.

  “I mean, it does looks good on you, kid.” Barbie smirked.

  “Absolutely …” The human guy next to his sister drooled.

  “Don’t make me kill you slower than I already intend to.” Moxxie growled.

  “You are not killing my f@ck@n’ partner!” Barb shouted with rage.

  “Okay, first off.” Blitz interrupted, turned to the group. “It’s been a week, how has it taken you THIS LONG to kill the target?”

  “Moxxie wanted to be a popular mean girl.” The kid nodded.

  “…. Maybe not mean per se.” Moxxie winced.

  “Oh for f@ck’s sake. Is this about your f@ck@ng inferiority complex, Satan’s ass get over yourself!” Blitz grumbled. “This is why I don’t trust you with d@ck!” 

  “Sorry sir.” The guy pouted as the kid patted him on the back.

  “Now second, what the f@ck do you mean partner?” Blitz asked his sister. “Are you two …” He made a f@ck gesture.

  “No/Hopefully!”
   Barb and the human shouted.

  “Shut up Jimmy!” Barbie growled at the teen. “He’s my supplier for drugs, pure clean heroin.”

  “Come on Barb, don’t get on that slope again.” Blitz groaned. “First it starts off with something ineffective like heroin, then you're back on H-8 before you know it!” 

  “It’s not for me, @ssh@l@, I’m a supplier now! Honest, normal money.” Barbie growled. “Would’ve taken the kid over there...” She pointed to Iruma. “But there was always 
  
    you 
  
  to consider cause you always get in my f@ck@ng way!”

  “Well your new guy isn’t much better.” The kid shrugged. “He killed a kid who paid us to kill him.”

  “You what!?” Barbie shouted at the new f@ck@r.

  The target shrunk himself. “He saw the supply, I had to get rid of him!”

  “You couldn’t bribe him or anything?” Iruma asked, frowning. “I mean, did you even ask if he could keep quiet? Money, drugs, a horseback ride, kids are willing to do anything for pretty much anything.”

  “…. He looked like a squealer?” The idiot chuckled nervously.

  “You know I could have helped if you were looking for clients.” Blitz offered.

  “I want help, not 
  
    your 
  
  help!” Barbie shouted, glaring daggers at him. “You think if I wanted to talk to you I would’ve?! Fifteen years I could’ve talked to you, but I didn’t because 
  
    I don’t want to!
  
   I don’t have an email, social, or phone number because 
  
    I want you out of my life in every way possible!”
  

  “Barb I-”

  “You don’t get it!” She shouted, snarling with great disdain. “I want you out of my life! Gone! The best case scenario is dead in a ditch if I’m being perfectly honest! You do nothing but ruin my life and I want you out of it!” She screamed. “All you do is f@ck sh@t up and make people miserable! You won’t be better, you CAN’T be better! You’re just a parasite by nature!”

  Blitz was feeling frustrated. Desperate. “But I can change!” 
  No you don’t.
   NOT NOW!

  “I don’t 
  
    care 
  
  
    what 
  
  you do with your life, just stay out of mine!” She shouted. “And leave me to sell heroin, without interrupting me!”

  “Still need to kill your dealer.” Mox spoke up with a firm expression. His sister growled.

  “Oh like the f@ck you are!” Barbie shouted, turning to Iruma, “Kid, 
  
    please 
  
  get the knife out of the twink’s hand.”

  “Got it.” He tackled Mox.

  “Iruma-!”

  “Sorry, she said ‘please’!”

  “Well please kill that f@ck@r!” Blitz shouted, turning to Jimmy.

  “Please don’t!” Oh, two could play at that game b@tch!

  “Please do!”

  “Please don’t!”

  “Please do!”

  “Please don’t!”

  “Please do!” He screamed.

  “Please … kid?” Barbie asked, her voice trailed off as they turned to the … admittedly twitching boy, who’s body looked like it was convulsing, a low growl coming from within. Oooooh no…Blitz knows 
  
    that
  
   growl back at Loona’s hellbies shot appointment.

  “Iruma, are you all right, how-?” Mox touched his shoulders …

  
    “SCRAAAAAAAAAAAA!!”
  
   And the kid snapped, letting out a weird mix of a roar, scream, animal buzz, and bird cry, as his body began expanding and flailing across the room, mouths chomping down on wood and floorboards alike.

  “Oh great, you broke the kid!” Barb groaned.

  “You told him to grab the knife!”

  “I at least wasn’t telling him to do anything he clearly didn’t want to do!”

  “Oh so you’re defending a child murderer!”

  “YOU’RE a child murderer!” She screamed back.

  “Would you both stop this!” Mox screamed. “Iruma, calm down, it’s-AAAAHH!” He cried out as his arm was chomped down on.

  “Jimmy, get in the boat-!”

  “Oh no one’s getting out of here!” Blitz shouted as he stood on the boat. “Barbie, I came here to help and I’m not leaving till I do!”

  “You’re trying to off my dealer!” She threw up her arms.

  “This is my way of helping!”

  
    “Grrrrr!” 
  

  “
  I'm getting out of here!” The little punk shouted panicky as he pulled the motor cord on the speed boat.

  “No you’re not!” Moxxie jumped on the boat, pulling his arm out of the feral Iruma’s mouth as he tackled the b@st@rd, aiming his head toward the spinning blades of the motor. “You’re going to die right here right now!”

  “Get the f@ck away from me!” The b@st@rd tried to get Mox off by throwing the drugs everywhere.

  
    “GRAAA!”
  
   Iruma jumped up to sn@tch it in his maw, falling onto a crate … where fireworks spilled out, right into the motor the guy was yanking.

  The teen paled. “Oh shit-!”

  
    Kaabooooooooom
  

  Blood was sent everywhere as coke, fireworks, and motor oil was sent flying, the roof of the shed blowing off. “Great, now I’m out of a job!” Barbie shouted with vexation, wiping the b@st@rd’s blood off her face.

  “Why the f@ck did you even have fireworks here?!” Blitz shouted incredulously as sparks began flying.

  “It’s a f@ck@n’ summer camp you @ssh@l@! Of course there are fireworks!”

  “Ughhh, what happened...” Iruma rubbed his head, white powder across his face as he was groaning. 

  “My fucktard of a brother both killed my supplier 
  
    and 
  
  my supply!”

  “Oh…” The boy gave his furious sister an apologetic look, “well, ah... don’t know how much the drugs cost… so… will a thousand do for now?” The kid offered her a stack of cash he took out from his pocket.

  “… At least one of you has f@ck@n’ morals.” She snatched it as she began marching away.

  His eyes widened. “Barb, I-” He reached his arm-

  “Blitz …” She looked back and glared at him. “The 
  only
   way you will help 
  anyone
   on this planet, or in hell … is if you die alone.”

  “…. I….” His voice failed. He knew that. Verosika knew that, Fizz knew that. 

  She tapped her wristwatch and opened a portal. “Stop looking for me, stop contacting me, and stop thinking you can make it up. You can’t. You’re dead to me, and I’m not giving you an out on what you did to me, to our family.” Barbie paused at the vortex. “You know, you’re an excellent murder professional … killing good people is the 
  only
   skill you have.” She then pointed to the kid. “Let’s hope Satan d@mn it that you fail like you always do.” She rubbed the kid’s head. “See ya around kid.”

  “Goodbye …” The kid muttered in a daze as Barbie walked into Hell, the portal closed and disappeared. “… My stomach feels weird …”

  “You chewed on my arm, ate about two pounds of heroin, and the old wood and swamp water around this shed.” Moxxie explained, his face strained in pain.

  “No. It’s not a stomach ache… this feels… warm and… bursty…” Iruma burped a puff of smoke.

  “Um … are you-”

  
    Foof
  

  The boy coughed out… 
  
    blue hellfire. 
  
  “… Ooohh, feeling really weird.”

  “… Kid… look above your head.” Blitz pointed to the cowlick... which was now lit up like a sparkler.

  “Oooh … okayyyy … night.” And they were out like a light.

  “… Mills is going to murder us.” Blitz deadpanned.

  “I’ll take the brunt of it... it is my fault we’re all still here.” Moxxie muttered.

  “Thanks Mox… you’re a disappointment, but at least you’re here.” 
  
    Because everyone else was smart enough to leave.'
User: Summarize the chapter based on the content provided, ensuring to follow the set format and emphasize key aspects within the specified length.
User: Summarize the chapter based on the content provided, ensuring to follow the set format and emphasize key aspects within the specified length.
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