Can you make this into professional writing? 

Dear Recruiting Manager,
 
My name is xx. I’m a Master’s student at HKU majoring in Economics. I’m writing to cordially apply for the opportunity of 2023 Equity Research Summer Analyst provided by Jefferies. I am incredibly passionate about this job opportunity and I’m writing to present myself as a qualified candidate.
 
Jefferies provides best-in-class coverage of core sectors – Consumer, Energy, Financials, Healthcare, Industrials(#3 in All-Asia poll), Materials and Internet(#1 in All-Asia poll). It has a unique global coverage structure, with the Global Equity Research effort consisting of over 140 analysts covering more than 1,750 stocks across A/H/US markets. The most differentiable part of Jefferies is its regular Franchise Research Pieces themed on challenges and opportunities companies over a 2-3 year horizon, which offers deeper and broader perspective for clients. The research at Jefferies is also recognized by Institutional Investor as 7th and Asia Local Brokers poll as 3rd.
 
With experience in Financial Advisory, Equity Research, and Macro Research, I am prepared to greatly exceed your expectations. First and foremost, I am a detail-oriented and performance-driven master's student majoring in Economics from the University of Hong Kong. I am not only among the top 15% of students with the best academic results but I am also pro-actively engaged in multiple extracurricular activities, including equestrianism, drums, and investment club.
 
Additionally, my work experience and skills are my proudest assets. My previous investment and research experience at xx Capital mainly sharpened my knowledge of the pathological diagnosis industry and market sizing skills. Both xx Macro Research and xx Equity Research experience enabled me to strongly polish my technical skills in macro-economic knowledge and sharpen my understanding on key macro parameters, as well as reasonably assess a company’s business model and valuation and effectively draw the investment advisory.
 
From my understanding of this position, the role provides versatility – firm due diligence, financial modelling, report drafting, problem-solving, and analytical work. I believe I am a good fit as I am strong on modelling and data analysis, savvy on Bloomberg and WIND and has extensive capacity on reports drafting (10-page report on Chinese Industrial Policy, you can search it on XX Company’s portal; assisted in the initial coverage report on Orient Cables (603606 CH) at xx Company).
 
Personality-wise, I am extroverted and interactions with people bring me energy, which would be helpful in cross-team communication and due diligence visits of the firms. My ability to adapt quickly to new environments and multitask under various pipelines in extreme working conditions can also be helpful and valuable to the team. I believe my hunger for the opportunity to learn from highly intellectual employees at Jefferies will enable me to thrive in its collaborative culture and allow me to successfully serve its global clients.
 
I would welcome any opportunity to personally discuss my qualifications with you at your convenience. Thank you very much for considering me for the abovementioned vacancy. I can be reached by phone number xxx or xxx.
 
Best,