Look at the dialoug in this section of story what can be done to improve it, what is good already and what is not: Captain McConnell awoke with a start in she quarters at Fleet Command; she didn't know what she was going to find, on the Prince, if she was ever found.

Going over the Nearby Vid-Con Terminal, she said '' Vid-Con On> Internal > Shuttle Booking.' 

'Shuttle Booking, Specialist Andrew James here.' 

'Specialist James good evening I am Fleet Captain McConnell, Star Raptor Call Sing CAG-224 security clearance Alpha One/Black'

'How may I assist you Fleet Captain McConnell?'

'When is the next priority shuttle to the Fleet Training Academy, ideally tonight?'

'Cheeking!'

'Here we go Fleet Captain Pad 24 two hours from now?'

'Well now put me on it...Do it now and make it the seat by the door. And specialist tell security I'm getting on that shuttle and the usual nonsense does not apply I need over there and fast. '

'Copy that Fleet captain priory Eden it is!'

Fleet Captain McConnell organized her thoughts and then packed her bag and got herself squared away.

Once she was satisfied that her quarters where in order she grabbed her security lanyard and headed to the pad.

As she exited Fleet Command, a security guard came running up to her.

'Hey, son slow down there that’s it slow down, what do you have to tell me?' McConnell said trying to help the young Officer who was there on important business.

'I am FstLt Lenman Fleet Captain I was told to give you this is a security Lanyard level Eden Good for five years!'

'Thankyou FstLt show, me the fastest ways to Pad 24?'

'Yes Ma'am, you'll need this eye protection and these ear defenders, there’s a Com system built in.’

McConnell examined the ear defenders.

'Yes Lin'Tec 44200 MK 17 we use these on the Star Raptor, set your to channel 70 cut down on interference!' 

'Right, that’s done.'

'What’s with these, FstLt unusual to need hearing protection this late at night?'

FstLt Linman struggled to hear for a moment as a shuttle departed from a nearby pad, there was a momentary gust as if passed overhead,

'Sorry Fleet Captain you were saying?'

'I was saying that it’s unusual here at fleet command to need hearing protection this time of night, normally there is very little traffic?'

'Normally ma'am I'd agree in the affirmative. As you know these are not, normal times. Many people are flying in for that meeting schedule soon, hence the increase in traffic!'

At that moment a shuttle departed without its navigation lights on. 

'FstLt give me you radio, now!'

'PCCC this is Star Raptor Actual I send Priority Echo One -One over.'

'Star Raptor Actual PCCC copy, send you traffic over.'

'PCCC Outbound shuttle departing Pad 19 I say Pad One Ninner is Section 34 part two violator, departed without navigation lights over.'
'PCCC acknowledges hold on.'

'Roger PCCC will monitor and keep working with you.'

'Shuttle LT-114, Shuttle LT-114 PCCC how copy over'

'PCCC LT-114 we copy over'

'LT-114 you are currently in violation on flight rules Section 34 part, Two over you are currently without navigation lights over'

'PCCC roger engaging now, who do we have tho thank over'

'LT-114 Fleet Captain McConnell CAG-224, over.'

'Copy that PCCC LT-114 out.'

'PCCC to Star Raptor Actual, Shuttle LT-114 in code 1-1B over'

'Conferred PCCC Star Raptor Actual out.'

Captain McConnell Handed the FstLt his radio back.


'We normally let those go' Lineman said.

Fleet Captain McConnell turned and cocked her head and raised an eyebrow.

'Ha-Hum and we were just getting along. Listen, boy and listen well. That Shuttlecraft could have caused a mid-air collision, that’s over four hundred people dead. You say you just let go, where you commitment to preserving life and following standing orders and the law? '

The rest of the walk to Pad 24 undertaken in an uneasy silence, Lineman knew Fleet Captain McConnell was right, but didn't feel able to respond.

'Here we are Ma'am you have a safe trip and you're right. If it makes you feel any better I'm going to report myself and get some additional training?'

McConnell looked down and shock her head.

'Come here son, more training is not what you need, you need to grow a little how you do so I cannot help you with; I can see in your eyes you're a good kid, a little loose around the edges maybe but basicly good. Look I know someone who could mould you. You'd need transferring to fleet, when CAG-15 the Weever comes In go see her Captain, Captain Miller ok. Say I sent you for smoothing out, Captain Miller will understand.'

'Thankyou Fleet Captain McConnell I will!'

'Son, when your there don't make me look bad; not for one microsecond, got it?'

'Message is Five by Five Fleet Captain McConnell.'

'You know a man called Kamson, works over at Stanner in Fleet Crew Relations?'

'Eric Kamson not fully, no, met him a few times.'

'Little disgusting worm of a man, now as I told him a little while ago, and I'm telling you; if I Have to come over then over is what you'll be!'

'Understood' Lineman swallowed hard.

'You'd better get aboard Fleet Captain, up in fifteen!'

With that Fleet Captain McConnell got on board and sat down, and fastened her five point safety harness. 

Six Hours Later.

-Fleet Training Academy Greenland. 

The plateau where the Academy was situated had evidence of freeze/thorw fracture in the rocks, wind howled and cloud raced across the sky. The disk of the sun had a pale yellow/white halo around it and the disk its self was white.

For protection most of the academy complex was underground. Only the windows of the control centre where visible cut into the rock face. The airlock door into the academy opened with a mechanical hiss and when it shut the sound echoed through the inner concourse. 

At the moment a second year cadet Jasmine Hopeman only seventeen came running up.

'Cadet first class Hopemen Fleet Captain, mad I assist you Ma'am?' 

'Stand easy Cadet. I am Fleet Captain McConnell, now where can I find Senior instructor Wendy Chee?'

'Senior Instructor Chee is in, simulator 12 Fleet-Captain'

'Very good Cadet show me there per regulation 20/42 of the Nereman Convention.'

'Would the Fleet Captain be referring to Section 14 Subsection 12 (b)?'

'Close Cadet I would refer to Title 24, Sub Title 18 (d), Article 54 Sub-Article 27 (f), and never do that again Cadet got it?'
'Yes Fleet Captain I apologise'

'No Girl what you'll do is lean and quickly, what ship do you hope to server on?'

'CAG-224 Fleet' Cadet Hopemen said. 

'That would be the Star Raptor, then?'

'And I would be her Captain!'

Hopeman snapped to and got Fleet Captain McConnell to where she needed to go.
Fleet Captain McConnell had not been back at the Academy since she graduated first in her class with honours.
She had always had a close but professional relationship with Senior Instructor Chee since they transferred her to her class, when it became apparent to her instructors she was going to be a captain and no mere pilot.
From day one of simulator training McConnell knew the procedures and regulations better than some instructors, her bearing and sense of command was apparent superiority in SRR procedures.
What really frightened her instructors was her letter perfect adherence to space law and regulations, and the insistence of her crew where to organize along those lines.
It was apparent to even the most hardened of instructors who’d flow freighters well before McConnell was born, any-ship command by her would become exceptional.
McConnell, noted for been in the simulator all night debility making mistakes then finding out how to correct that mistake quickly so she could recognize it in any crew member making it in the future.
When she wasn’t in the simulator she was talking with retired people and not just captains, dock workers, cargo loaders, sensor specialists, even down to retired ship security chiefs having them teach her all the old school tricks and things to look for.
No other cadet in McConnell’s class put in the hours she did, if she had tests she’d do her course homework in the simulator.
Senior Instructor Chee knew that in McConnell there was something impossible to define, Jade rarely asked for time off but she did a few times to attend important events involving her tribe, when she came back she doubled down to make up anything she’d missed..          
-Simulator 12

' Pilot you are next to a class seven asteroid check your vector Roll X 32.2'

'Out of the way son' McConnell Said.

'Aye Captain X 32.2 executed coming to 13.63 Drift factor 12.2’ McConnell Said...

'Shuttle bay Bridge

'Shuttle bay, aye'

'Priority 1/1 take-off immediate hold at +3.3 over'
Shuttle bay copies bridge departing now'
'CAG TS-012 to Tugs JA- 41 and 16 how copy over'
‘CAG TS- 012 send when read over’
‘Survey Hull per-section 44/1 then report over JA-16 hold at 15.3 till survey complete then move it and attach per 19.3 over'
‘Wilko CAG- TS-012 will monitor and keep working with you'
'Who the hell is running my simulation, no mere Cadet that’s for sure? Only one young woman I know uses a procedure like that, and she’s a Fleet Captain of the best ship in the fleet, McConnell come here, now!'

'Senior Instructor Chee reporting as ordered Ma'am!'

'Cut that out Jade. You’re a Fleet Captain now, not one of these pups, what do you call them?'

'On the Star Raptor I call them Space Monkies!'

Yes, sounds about right my girl what’s the best student I ever had or maybe ever will doing here, unless... But know that can’t be it, can it?"

McConnell stood in front of her instructor and took both her hands and nodded sharply.

'Ha, so the great Jade McConnell has a problem she can’t fix! Let me guess ships AI has fallen in love with one of your crew?'

McConnell had to rectify the situation fast.

'Senior Instructor Chee no I will tell you but in your office this situation is grave'
'Ok my girl, how grave?'

'As in Alpha One/Black' McConnell said.

Understanding that her former student was serious, senior instructor Chee took McConnell to a security level 10-office!

'Jade look; at me what wrong, why are you here?'

'What I’m about to show you, classified to the highest levels. And stays within these walls and gets discussed with no one else, and I mean no one else?'

'Understood' Chee said.

McConnell showed her former instructor everything that was known (or rather not) about the Prince and showed Senior Instructor Chee the Evidence given to her by the DSRRS informant.

'It Ok Jade it Ok you don't have to say anything you're feeling trapped aren’t you?'

'If your theory about the Prince is right. I know you so it has to be, that ship be now with be a cold sink, by that I mean deep cold. Take a thermal camera with you and cheek the hatch seals...'

'We carry those per Section 49 of the Space Medicine and Welfare Act.'

Senior instructor Chee nodded, shock-her head in amazement and chuckled.

'Right, check to see how much heat she'd losing via the seals that will tell your base rescue plan. Look if what you say about the DSRRS is true to expect no help from them, but I guess you've calculated that profanity. '

McConnell gave a single sharp no in acknowledgement.

'Damn girl you're good, depending whether the crew are together or if the separated will depends on the condition, you'll likely find them in. McConnell prepare your search teams for high levels of mental disruption, hallucinations, poor memory and other symptoms of prolonged isolation, but you know that. Just be careful. '

'Your people are going to be the first people any of them have seen in a long time so emotional conversion and release will be a factor!'

The people who are going over all real friendly people'

'What can I do McConnell?''Ok but someone’s going in with you that condition is far too dangerous alone?'