> New Round Started…
> PlayerA plays Tiny Enemy Unit
> PlayerB plays Steal and takes PlayerA's Tiny Enemy Unit
> PlayerA plays a bread slice
> PlayerB plays a card... that's made of cheese? Anyways, it goes on the bread slice.
> PlayerA plays another bread slice to finish the sandwich
> PlayerB plays Obese Man.
> PlayerB's Obese Man eats the sandwich and gets +5 HP
> PlayerA plays Silence
> PlayerB's Obese Man is Silenced and no longer has the HP boost and cannot eat food for HP anymore.
> PlayerB uses Ascendant Upgrade Spell on Obese Man to convert it into Food Lord
> Food Lord is a mythical and therefore cannot be Silenced. Removing the Silence effect...
> PlayerA plays Grave Robber to steal the Steal Card used earlier from the Discard Pile,
> PlayerA uses Steal to take Food Lord.
> PlayerB uses a Shovel to uncover a tile reading "9". There are 8 mines around it, and 1 behind PlayerA.
> PlayerA uses Defuse to remove the 9th mine.
> PlayerB combines 2 Steal cards to make a Total Robbery card.
> PlayerB readies Total Robbery.
> PlayerA plays Security Lock on their deck.
> PlayerA is robbed anyways.
> PlayerB plays Food Lord.
> PlayerA draws Grave Robber from the Draw Deck and uses it to steal a Shovel from the Discard Pile.
> PlayerB uses FBI Robot to confiscate a hidden 9 Tile from the minesweeper board.
> PlayerA uses Detonator to detonate the 9 Tile in PlayerB's hand.
> PlayerB suffers the explosion but manages to survive.
> PlayerB uses Heal Kit.
> PlayerA takes out all of the bandages from the Heal Kit to sabotage PlayerB.
> PlayerA assembles The Contraption using the stolen bandages as an adhesive.
> PlayerA triggers The Contraption.
> PlayerB is whacked in the face by The Contraption.
> PlayerA does the Fortnite Default Dance for no reason.
> PlayerB dies of cringe.
> PlayerA wins!
> New Round Started…
> PlayerA converts some of the Tiles into Water Tiles.
> PlayerB plays a Frog on a Water Tile.
> PlayerA follows suit, playing their Frog as well.
> PlayerB declares a Frog civil war split between the two players’ sides.
> PlayerA summons backup Frogs.
> PlayerB sends the backup Frogs to Frog Jail.
> PlayerA’s backup Frogs use a get out of jail free card.
> PlayerB commands their Frog to attack PlayerA’s frogs.
> PlayerB’s Frog realizes its sole purpose is to fight PlayerA’s frogs FOR ENTERTAINMENT.
> PlayerB’s Frog joins PlayerA’s Frogs to defeat PlayerA and PlayerB. The new frog player is PlayerF.
> PlayerF commands all of the Frogs from the draw pile to join their side.
> PlayerA and PlayerB do a Dragon Ball Fusion Dance to make PlayerC.
> PlayerC uses a shovel to uncover a 9 Tile beneath a Water Tile.
> PlayerF does a rain dance and moves their frogs to a Land Tile.
> PlayerC flings the 9th mine over to the frogs anyways.
> PlayerF steals an FBI Robot from PlayerC’s card collection and uses it to bounce the 9th mine into their hand.
> PlayerC forgot a Detonate card and had to use Steal to get the mine card and throw it back to the Frogs.
> PlayerF uses a Nope on the 9th mine to end the 9th mine madness.
> PlayerC plays Snake.
> PlayerF convinces the Snake that PlayerC has an irrational vendetta against the animal kingdom.
> PlayerF’s Snake attempts to send PlayerC to the shadow realm.
> PlayerC uses a Stenchy Chemical to repel the snake.
> PlayerF turns the remaining land Tiles into water Tiles.
> PlayerC builds an artificial island and puts a militairy base on it.
> PlayerF’s frog army is defeated by PlayerC’s army.
> PlayerF decides to stop bothering the ever-so-persistent PlayerC and lets PlayerC sign the peace treaty.
> PlayerC and PlayerF sign the peace treaty, ending the Frog War.
> PlayerC splits back up into PlayerA and PlayerB. The flood is drained, leaving the land ready to play on again.
> New Round Started…
> PlayerA plays a Booster Pack.
> Out of PlayerA’s Booster Pack emerges a Medium Enemy Unit, a Snake, and an Inflatable Pool.
> PlayerB uses a Steal to steal PlayerA’s Inflatable Pool, and then puts a Fish in it.
> PlayerA plays British Man to turn PlayerB’s Fish into Fish and Chips, allowing PlayerA to reclaim the now-vacant Inflatable Pool.
> PlayerB plays a Frog.
> PlayerA uses a Nope in pure PTSD of the Frog War and then questions why PlayerB thinks it is funny.
> PlayerB backs away from the awkward situation.
> PlayerA wins!
> New Round Started…
> PlayerA is going to win the game.
> PlayerB uses Nope.
> PlayerA uses Yep.
> PlayerB uses Nope.
> PlayerA uses Yep.
> PlayerB uses Nope.
> PlayerA uses Yep.
> PlayerB uses Nope.
> PlayerA uses Yep.
> PlayerB uses Nope.
> PlayerA uses Yep.
> PlayerB uses Nope.
> PlayerA uses Yep.
> PlayerB uses Nope.
> PlayerA uses Yep.
> PlayerB uses Nope.
> PlayerA uses Yep.
> PlayerB uses Nope.
> PlayerA uses Yep.
> PlayerB uses Nope.
> PlayerA runs out of Yeps.
> PlayerB runs out of Nopes.
> PlayerA and PlayerB shrug and end the pointless round..
> New Round Started…
> PlayerA buys a Booster Pack from a merchant from India.
> PlayerB plays an Average Sized Enemy Unit.
> PlayerA manages to open the Indian Booster Pack and out of the Indian Booster Pack emerges an Elephant.
> PlayerB attacks the Elephant with the Average Sized Enemy Unit.
> PlayerA’s Elephant fights back.
> PlayerB plays a Grass Tile on the board to distract the Elephant.
> PlayerA’s Elephant goes to munch on the grass on the Grass Tile.
> PlayerB plays a Zookeeper to take the Elephant.
> PlayerA gives a ceasefire to the Elephant to prevent an Elephant War in a similar manner to the Frog War.
> PlayerB’s Zookeeper hands the ceasefire to the Elephant. The Elephant accepts, and the game can continue without risk of an Elephant War. In other words, an Elephant War of any kind isn’t happening.
> PlayerA goes into the Card Shop.
> The Cards currently in stock are: Nope, Yep, Steal, Helicopter, Large Enemy Unit, Fish and Chips, and Mushroom Booster Pack.
> PlayerA buys the Mushroom Booster Pack.
> Out of the Mushroom Booster Pack emerges a Big Mushroom, a Topping Mushroom, and a Mushroom Shield.
> PlayerB buys a Helicopter from the Card Shop.
> PlayerA plays the Topping Mushroom.
> PlayerB uses the Helicopter to airlift the Average Sized Enemy Unit.
> PlayerA rolls some Pizza Dough on the Playing Area.
> PlayerB plays a Obese Man.
> PlayerA’s Pizza Dough is eaten by the Obese Man.
> PlayerB, seeing this as an opportunity, steals a slab of Pizza Dough from PlayerA.
> PlayerA has a Security Lock. PlayerB’s Steal is Noped.
> PlayerB uses an Ascendant Upgrade Spell to make the Obese Man ascend into the mythical-tier Food Lord once more.
> PlayerA rebuilds The Contraption from old blueprints.
> PlayerB dodges the whack.
> PlayerB is hit but only by a slight amount of damage due to moving a bit away.
> PlayerA adds 25 pills of GenericDrugNamium into one of the Food Lord’s burgers.
> Food Lord tries to eat the burger but his blood sugar starts to go haywire, and he also starts vomiting.
> PlayerB gives Food Lord an Antacid.
> PlayerA plays 8 Keys, and then a Booster Pack with a lock on it, and selects one of the keys to be the correct one. PlayerA then reveals the correct one for a brief moment, then shuffles the keys like crazy.
> PlayerB selects the correct key.
> Out of the Booster Pack emerges a Spider.
> PlayerA plays a Descendant Downgrade Spell on the Spider to make it into a Tiny Spider.
> PlayerB uses their Tiny Spider to attack Food Lord.
> PlayerA’s Food Lord so fat, when he sat on the Tiny Spider… Yeah… It died… Because it was sat on, wasn’t that obvious?
> PlayerB uses an Industrial Unitmaker to make a swarm of Enemy Units.
> PlayerA uses a Magnet to fry the Enemy Units’ electronic cores.
> PlayerB sets up a Thermonuclear Reactor on the board.
> PlayerA mines all the Uranium under the board before PlayerB can use it in the Reactor.
> PlayerA forgot the RadAway and died to radiation.
> New Round Started…
> PlayerA plays a Grave Robber.
> PlayerA’s Grave Robber has nothing to steal…
> PlayerB plants an Apple into a Grass Tile.
> PlayerA plays a Squirrel to take advantage of the potential Apple Tree.
> PlayerB’s Cat gets onto the board, eats the Squirrel, and leaves the scene.
> PlayerA uses a Yep on the Grave Robber to make it steal the Squirrel Soul from the Discard Pile.
> PlayerB plays an Exorcist.
> PlayerA puts their Squirrel Soul in defense mode.
> PlayerB, unable to excorcise the Squirrel Soul, instead resorts to Druid Magic, and plays a Druid to cast an ancient spirit cleansing spell, while drawing energy from the Apple Tree’s aura.
> PlayerA’s Squirrel Soul makes it into the Astral Plane and rests peacefully.
> PlayerA paves some Checkered Tiles.
> PlayerB starts a game of Chess.
> PlayerA accepts, but then immediately makes a blunder.
> PlayerB gets their hands on the Chess Trophy.
> PlayerA builds a Kitchen, using the Checkerboard as a flooring.
> PlayerB goes into the Card Shop to buy a fresh batch of Cheese Cards (and a few other ingredients), because the cheese card that was sent to the Discard Pile (because it was eaten) in the first round, expired.
> PlayerA cooks with PlayerB. Some notable highlights include: The Giant Cheese Meld, Onion Rings, and an Apple Smoothie.
> PlayerA and PlayerB resume their card match outside the area occupied by the Kitchen.
> PlayerA uses a Yep on the Apple Tree to make it give Apples once more.
> PlayerB plants a Pear.
> PlayerA plays a Squeezer to make a lot of Apple Juice from the Apples.
> PlayerB uses Tree Fertilizer on the Pear to get a Pear Tree.
> PlayerA sells Apple Juice to the Card Shop and then buys some Booster Packs.
> PlayerB sells some Pears from the Pear Tree to get Booster Packs as well.
> PlayerA and PlayerB manage their decks.
> PlayerA resumes the game with the new decks in effect.
> PlayerB plays a duck to get PlayerA’s bread from their Card Storage.
> PlayerA plays a Security Lock on their Card Storage.
> PlayerB puts a Salt Shaker on the board and uses an Ascendant Upgrade Spell on it.
> The Salt Monolith has awoken…
> PlayerA confines The Salt Monolith to the ground. The Salt Monolith is now unable to do anything.
> PlayerB breaks the confinement.
> PlayerA gets an FBI Robot to acquire some Mines, and then puts them in the Salt Monolith.
> PlayerB tries to prevent the explosion, but fails.
> PlayerA went a bit overkill with what Mines to use, so PlayerB succumbs to the explosion.
> New Round Started…
> PlayerA plays a Rats & Flora Booster Pack.
> Out of the Rats & Flora Booster Pack emerges some Saplings, and a bunch of Rats.
> PlayerB plays a Medium Enemy Unit to fend off the Rats.
> PlayerA hires an Engineer Rat to construct a Rat Mech Suit for their fellow Rats.
> PlayerB starts the epic mech fight, anime style.
> PlayerA manages to win the fight.
> New Round Started…
> PlayerA plays a Pawn.
> PlayerB also plays a Pawn.
> PlayerA rolls a dice to see how many tiles their Pawn can move forwards. PlayerA moves the Pawn accordingly.
> PlayerB does the same.
> Players A and B have their Pawns go into a staring contest.
> PlayerA’s Pawn loses the staring contest.
> PlayerB captures PlayerA’s Pawn.
> PlayerA is now in a superposition between having misplaced their Get Out Of Jail Free Card for plot convenience or having it in hand to predictably subvert the former.
> PlayerB distracts PlayerA with some Beans.
> PlayerA locates the misplaced Get Out Of Jail Free Card and plays it to release their captured Pawn.
> PlayerB isn’t done with their act yet, and adds more Beans.
> PlayerA gets their Bird to eat the Beans.
> PlayerB puts their Pawn into defense position.
> PlayerA plays an Onion.
> PlayerB puts their pawn into offense position, and attacks the Onion with said pawn.
> PlayerA puts some French Fries down as reinforcements.
> PlayerB sneakily uses the Pawn to attack PlayerA.
> PlayerA retailiates with a barrage of Copper Caltrops.
> PlayerB’s Pawn defuses the Copper Caltrops trap and promotes itself into a Defuser.
> PlayerA salvages the defused Copper Caltrops to get spare copper.
> PlayerB races PlayerA to get some Zinc.
> PlayerA manages to get Zinc before PlayerB starts running after PlayerA. PlayerA also locks the mineshaft away with a Dynamite Trap.
> PlayerB’s Defuser defuses the Dynamite Trap and gets more Zinc.
> PlayerA makes Brass.
> PlayerB uses a steal to steal all the Brass.
> PlayerA uses a Nope.
> PlayerB uses a Yep.
> PlayerA uses a Nope.
> PlayerB plays a Cereal Bowl.
> PlayerA makes a Brass Spoon.
> PlayerB pours the milk first! It’s a blunder.
> PlayerA builds a Mechanical Spooner using the Brass Spoon.
> PlayerB’s Defuser attempts to dismantle the Spooner.
> PlayerA spoons PlayerB with the Spooner. PlayerA wins the round.
> New Round Started…
> PlayerA is saving their cards in their hand for something.
> PlayerB sets up a defense, which is a swarm of Enemy Units.
> PlayerB: “What is in their hand? What are they cooking up in their strategy? Something devious might be brewing.”
> PlayerA plays their entire hand.
> PlayerB attempts to fight off PlayerA’s cards with Enemy Units. This fails, and PlayerB concedes.
> New Round Started…
> PlayerA summons 3 Bees.
> PlayerB excavates some clay.
> PlayerA builds a portal to the Bee Dimension by using their 3 Bees and some spare Beeswax.
> PlayerB uses the clay to sculpt a Clay Golem.
> PlayerA's Bees attack the Clay Golem.
> PlayerB unleashes the Clay Golem’s wrath upon the Bees.
> Queen Bee gets on PlayerA’s side, so she can avenge her fellow bees.
> PlayerB plays an Exterminator.
> Queen Bee uses a Beenade on the Exterminator.
> PlayerB uses a flyswatter.
> PlayerA and Queen Bee cast a Bee Blast in PlayerB’s face.
> PlayerB couldn’t handle the Bees in time.
> New Round Started…
> PlayerA starts off with a Medium Enemy Unit.
> PlayerB plays an Oak Tree.
> PlayerA plays some Squirrels, because nobody expects Squirrels.
> PlayerB gets Forklift Certified.
> PlayerA puts a Squirrel into their Trap Card Slot.
> PlayerB gets a Forklift to get Acorns from the Oak Tree.
> PlayerA activates their trap card, a Squirrel. The Squirrel eats the Acorns.
> PlayerB explores the board and discovers an ocean.
> PlayerA plays a Frigate.
> PlayerB plays an Aircraft Carrier.
> PlayerA discovers an island. PlayerA then sets up a base there.
> PlayerB finds an island too, and puts a base there.
> PlayerA builds a Ballastic Missle Submarine.
> PlayerB plays a Frigate as well.
> PlayerA strikes PlayerB’s naval base!
> PlayerB retaliates by sending a swarm of Amphibious Enemy Units.
> PlayerA deploys their Ballastic Missile Submarine to defend against the Amphibious Enemy Units.
> PlayerB uses a Sonar to detect the Ballastic Missile Submarine's location.
> PlayerA launches a counterattack with torpedoes.
> PlayerB puts some Aircraft on their Aircraft Carrier.
> PlayerA summons some very inconvenient wind, just to spite PlayerB’s attempt in a victory through aviation.
> PlayerB places some Underwater Mines.
> PlayerA plants Flags on the Underwater Mines. After all, it’s too cheeky to bring back the Minesweeper jokes with an explosion.
> PlayerB uses a Shovel on one of the Flags to cause an explosion in PlayerA’s face anyways.
> PlayerA and PlayerB survive the blast, and decide to continue the naval warfare.
> PlayerA mines some Sulfur Ore.
> PlayerB locates PlayerA in the tunnel network via footprints in the dusty cave floor, and provokes PlayerA via a surprise attack.
> PlayerA digs out a basic arena with a water lane to the right within the tunnel network.
> PlayerB plays a Medium Enemy Unit.
> PlayerA plays a Fish in the water lane.
> PlayerB plays a Coffee Maniac in an empty lane.
> PlayerA tries to block off the Coffee Maniac’s attack by placing a Brick Wall in their lane.
> PlayerB’s Coffee Maniac breaks through the wall, and feels like attacking again, so they give PlayerA a kick in the face.
> PlayerB won the mini-match, but the naval combat isn’t over.
> PlayerA tries to play a Boat. Unfortunately, due to some poor engineering, it explodes in front of PlayerA’s face.
> PlayerA didn’t survive the blast, as they can’t pull the same trick twice.
> New Round Started…
> PlayerA starts with a Small Enemy Unit.
> PlayerB throws a wrench at the Small Enemy Unit. Just like that, the Enemy Unit gets dismantled with one destructive swoop of the wrench.
> PlayerA plays a Swordsman.
> PlayerB uses a Steal on the Swordsman.
> PlayerA parries the incoming sword attack from the stolen Swordsman by using the Scarf Parry emote while wearing the Parry Scarf.
> PlayerB plays a Concrete Wall on their side of the board.
> PlayerA throws an Anti-Concrete Bomb at the Concrete Wall.
> PlayerB gets hit by the sword attack, now that the wall has crumbled to leave them vulnerable.
> PlayerA plays a Spider.
> PlayerB plays an Elephant.
> PlayerA plays a card face down.
> PlayerB plays a new concrete wall to block a potential attack sent by the card.
> PlayerA’s face-down card is revealed to be a Yeeter.
> PlayerA’s Yeeter so strong, it can throw even the heaviest of Elephants back into PlayerB’s hand! And that’s exactly what it did.
> PlayerB plays a Small Enemy Unit.
> PlayerA makes a functional copy of their Parry Scarf, made with the same magical threads.
> PlayerB plays an Archer.
> PlayerA’s Yeeter tanks the arrows. PlayerA proceeds to use their copy of their Parry Scarf to promote a spare Pawn into a Parrier.
> PlayerB plays a Medium Enemy Unit.
> PlayerA puts their Parrier into their workshop to make it reusable so that it can join PlayerA’s deck. It’s just too good of a card to make it one-time.
> PlayerB plays a dragon and sends it to attack the Yeeter. It’s a blunder, because PlayerA had a pawn lurking in a corner, ready to come out and capture the Dragon.
> PlayerA captures the Dragon with their Pawn. The Pawn promotes itself into a Dragon Slayer!
> PlayerB realizes their mistake and plays a Phoenix to rise from the ashes of defeat.
> PlayerA uses the Dragon Slayer to defeat the Phoenix.
> PlayerB concedes defeat, accepting PlayerA's victory.
> PlayerA and PlayerB agree upon an Intermission round to modify their decks.
> Intermission…
+++ PlayerA’s deck additions
++ Pawn Promotion Archetype
+ Parrier
+ Dragon Slayer
+ Astrologist (An Astral Elemental pawn promotion)
+ Horologist (A pawn promotion of the Clock archetype, an unusual decision considering how rare the Clock archetype is.)
++ Other Archetypes
+ Explorer (Explores the board and reports any findings to its summoner)
+ Muffin
+ Woodpecker
+++ PlayerB’s deck additions
++ Sneaky Archetype
+ Stealth Assassin
+ Saboteur
+ Cartoony Robber
++ Defensive Archetype
+ Fortification Builder
+ Shield Generator
> New Round Started…
> PlayerA starts off the round by playing an Explorer to scout the board.
> PlayerB repairs their Helicopter and gets it ready to airlift a card.
> PlayerA plays a Horologist. Since it was on time, it gets to throw a bunch of clock parts at PlayerB.
> PlayerB plays an Archer and airlifts it.
> PlayerA plays a Spider.
> PlayerB plays an Insane Man.
> PlayerA locks the Insane Man in a rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And the rats drive the Insane Man crazy. Actually, the rats were just hallucinations of the Insane Man, as he is beyond any help.
> PlayerB sends a psychologist to try to save the Insane Man.
> PlayerA plays a Parrier.
> PlayerB uses the airlifted Archer to shoot down the Horologist.
> PlayerA’s Parrier defends the Horologist, by Scarf Parrying the arrow.
> PlayerA's Explorer reports back with valuable information about the opponent's strategy.
> PlayerB uses a Shield Generator to protect their units from PlayerA's attacks.
> PlayerA pretends to be a goose to get PlayerB’s Insane Man to turn against PlayerB. Insane problems call for insane solutions.
> PlayerB, realizing the gravity of the situation, decides to play along with PlayerA's goose charade. The Insane Man, now convinced that PlayerB is a threat, turns against them and starts attacking their own units.
> PlayerA uses the spider to take down PlayerB. It succeeded, once the attack was paired with the Insane Man’s tomfoolery.
> New Round Started…
> PlayerA… uh…
> PlayerB is running out of ideas too.
> PlayerA: “Here’s a crazy idea. Why don’t we both select a card of ours to be our teammate? Teammates are less like cards and more like allied players.”
> PlayerB agrees.
> PlayerA makes the Parrier their teammate.
> PlayerB follows by making the Food Lord their teammate.
> New Round Started, for real this time…
A > PlayerA plays a Medium Enemy Unit.
A > Parrier uses a Spell of Shielding on the A-Team Medium Enemy Unit.
B > PlayerB sets up some Concrete Walls.
B > Food Lord sends the Burger Creatures to attack PlayerA.
A > PlayerA then had a very good idea. They use the F5 Key to enter third person mode, which gives them a whole new perspective, and they were able to see a weak point within the B-Team walls that they haven’t seen before.
A > Parrier then gets an advantage over the B-Team by adding reinforcements to the A-Team defense systems.
B > PlayerB deploys a Cartoony Robber.
B > Food Lord whips up some Goofy Burgers to feed to the Cartoony Robber.
A > PlayerA targets the Medium Enemy Unit at the weak point in the B-Team walls.
A > Parrier gives the Medium Enemy Unit more magic shields.
A > The Medium Enemy Unit breaches into the B-Team walls.
B > The Cartoony Robber, now energized, starts to run towards the A-Team walls.
B > The Cartoony Robber collides with the wall, but causes no damage since the walls are reinforced.
A > PlayerA sees what is available in the Card Shop at the moment.
> Cardy: “Hi. I’m Cardy. These products are currently available:”
+ Sheep
+ Irradiated Tile
+ Goblin
+ Cactus
+ Shieldbearer
A > PlayerA purchases a Shieldbearer from the Card Shop.
A > PlayerA deploys the Shieldbearer to bolster the defenses of the A-Team.
B > PlayerB gets a Goblin, and deploys it.
B > Food Lord prepares a batch of Fried Chicken.
A > PlayerA activates the Shieldbearer's ability, creating a protective shield around the A-Team units.
A > Parrier decides to hijack the B-Team Base by instructing the Medium Enemy Unit to destroy the walls now that the weak spot has been opened.
> The B-Team walls have been destroyed.
B > PlayerB tries to repair the walls, but fails.
B > Food Lord tries too, but also fails.
A > PlayerA gets the Medium Enemy Unit right into the B-Team Victory Crystal.
> The A-Team Wins because: B-Team Victory Crystal was destroyed.
++ Select Mode…
+ Standard
+ Intermission


(continue)