Create a bullet list of loot and equipment (including name, description, effects, level, and type) for a diaper-centric MMORPG taking place in a fantasy world where the usage of absurdly oversized diapers and other various infantile items (bonnets, rattlers, pacifiers, baby bottles, mittens and booties, etc.) that simultaneously function as both armor and apparel are not only ubiquitously worn by everyone, adventurer and traveller, toddler, youngster, teenager and adult alike, but mandatory, and the act of frequently and excessively pooping into one’s diaper, referred to as ‘Loading’, is seen as an everyday and often subconscious act; the bigger the diaper, the greater its capacity and the more it can be Loaded until full, and the fuller it gets, the bigger, heavier and more cumbersome it is on its wearer!
Item 1: XXXL Supreme Poofies (Lvl. 44, Regular): +2108 Defense, -55% movement speed, rear attacks to wearer deal 96% less damage, wearer gains the unique “Powder Cloud” passive ability when equipped (when struck by an attack to the rear, a cloud of baby powder will billow outwards and briefly fog a wide area, reducing visibility in that area by 66%), wearer is forced into an embarrassing waddle when equipped (applies +12 Cuteness and +55 Embarrassment if wearer has the Bashful or Reluctant temperament). “These titanically thick, cumbersomely colossal pamps are both truly gargantuan (more befitting of being worn instead by a 20-foot-tall giant) and ergonomically designed to be packed with as much baby powder as physically possible to protect one’s posterior from strikes, capable of softening and stopping even the most crushing of blows to the behind completely… so long as those who wear them don’t mind others watching them slowly and awkwardly waddle along, not unlike an actual toddling baby~”
Item 2: Hugely Heavy-Duty Huggies (Lvl. 68, Exotic): +454 Defense, -22% movement speed, wearer and adjacent party members are immune to ‘Soggy’ and ‘Cold’ debuffs, negative effects from cold environments are -90% less effective on wearer, all fire-based damage deals +55% additional damage while equipped, wearer’s Loads are -48% less frequent and are 90% smaller, diaper changes for wearer take 400% longer. “These snug, airtight, and magically heated pamps keep themselves wrapped tight around one’s rear to ensure their posterior is swaddled and kept warm, no matter how cold, wet, or blustery their surroundings may get.”
Item 3: Deluxe UltraLuxes (Lvl. 55, Unusual) +777 Defense, +808 Comfort, +21 Luck, +89 Charisma, +300% Breast Size, positive effects of all currently-equipped non-diaper equipment is increased by 45%, wearer cannot Load this diaper whilst it is equipped. "Worn by only the most opulent of diaper-wearers, the UltraLuxes are the height of diaper fashion, luxurious in both interior protection and exterior design; lined with rhinestones, adorned with sliver and gold embroideries and the absolute plushiest of padding inside. One can be sure that they’ll be the talk of the town if they wear a pair, and nobody would dare have an accident in such an expensive piece of infantile wear!
Item 4: Superstar’s Dancing Diapers (Lvl. 64, Grand): +244 Defense, +440 Max HP, wearer is forced into a embarrassing and uncontrollable dance at random intervals, applying +88 Embarrassment and distracting nearby enemies until dancing stops, stats of this item are multiplied by 800% if wearer is of the Idol class (+2196 Defense, +3960 Max HP). “Said to have been blessed by all the dancing spirit of a famous diaper-clad pop star, these particularly dazzling pamps may seem ordinary at first, but appearances can be deceiving; one will quickly find themselves unable to stop dancing until they uncontrollably fill their diaper on the spot!”
Item 5: Wondrously Wobbly BumBumpers (Lvl. 69, Unusual): +124 Defense, -22% movement speed, wearer gains the unique ‘Giant Boobs’ trait when equipped (+9900% Breast Size, attacks to the front of wearer deal -80% less knockback, wearer’s vision is obscured by size of boobs, resulting in -70% accuracy and -90% perception), +256 Attractiveness, +90 Cuteness and +168 Happiness (added Happiness instead becomes +288 Embarrassment if wearer has the Bashful or Easily Embarrassed temperament), 90% chance of wearer’s clothing tearing because of sudden boob expansion, applying Naked debuff and an additional +55 Embarrassment until larger clothes are worn.* “One would think these unassuming, albeit tastefully checkered diapers wouldn’t have anything magical about them… only to be instantly blessed with a pair of orbs so absurdly voluminous and so blissfully soft-to-the-touch upon wearing them that even the “bustiest” of models could not begin to compare! One can expect a lot of wobbling, jiggling, staring, whispering, grabbing and squeezing, and them blindly bumping into and knocking over people and objects; it’s difficult for anyone to see what’s in front of them when they’re sporting a rack so immense!”
Item 6: Blighted Paci of Gradual Regression (Lvl. 101, Cursed): -89 Defense, -121 Attack, +999 Happiness permanently, wearer cannot speak when equipped, item cannot be removed from wearer when equipped, wearer passively loses 2 Intelligence per in-game day for as long as item is equipped, Intelligence lost from the effects of this item is permanent and cannot be regained.* “For those that just want to re-experience what its like to be a baby again, this magically-infused pacifier is sure to do the trick… so long as they also wish to feel their intelligence slowly but surely sap before their very eyes and watch their mind sink deeper and deeper into a warm, thick, indescribably happy haze, with no chance of escape…”
(Make it so that each item’s traits are comically exaggerated to the point of ridiculousness and make little to no sense compared to how actual diapers (or any other such infantile apparel) would realistically look or function.)