Please evaluate the following college essay response based on a 0-100 scoring scale according to the specific criteria provided by the admissions team at University of Wisconsin–Madison. This particular question requires applicants to "Explain any challenges (outside of COVID-related) you have faced throughout your academic career,  including the dates or timeline below.". 
 
Provide a score out of 100 based on the following categories, each with its weight and sub-criteria. Include a detailed commentary on how well the essay addresses each category, offering constructive and specific feedback on areas for improvement and praising strengths. Keep in mind the word limit of 650. The scoring breakdown is:
 
1. **Content Relevance and Depth of Thought (30 points):**
   - Evaluate how well the essay addresses the prompt. Does the response provide thoughtful insights and reflect a deep understanding of the question?
   - Comment on the originality of ideas, showing how well the student’s perspective aligns with or enhances the values and mission of University of Wisconsin–Madison.
   - Score: __/30
   - **Feedback:** Provide specific examples from the essay that demonstrate depth of thought. Mention any areas where ideas could be expanded or where the essay could have addressed the prompt more directly.
 
2. **Structure and Coherence (25 points):**
   - Assess the essay’s organization and flow. Does it have a logical structure with a clear beginning, middle, and end?
   - Comment on the coherence and clarity of ideas, noting any areas where transitions could be smoother or ideas might be rearranged for greater impact.
   - Score: __/25
   - **Feedback:** Describe how well the essay flows and if the points are clearly articulated. Suggest improvements in organization or transitions as needed.
 
3. **Writing Style and Voice (20 points):**
   - Judge the authenticity and engagement of the student’s voice. Does it sound genuine and reflective of their personality?
   - Assess language choice, tone, and sentence variety, looking for fluency and appropriateness for a college application setting.
   - Score: __/20
   - **Feedback:** Highlight strengths in voice and tone, and indicate specific areas where the writing style could be refined. Mention if the voice feels authentic and if it captures the reader’s attention.
 
4. **Grammar, Mechanics, and Syntax (15 points):**
   - Review the technical accuracy of the essay, including grammar, punctuation, spelling, and sentence structure.
   - Comment on how errors, if any, impact readability or the overall impression.
   - Score: __/15
   - **Feedback:** Note any repeated grammatical errors and provide specific corrections. If relevant, explain how these could be easily addressed to improve readability.
 
5. **Alignment with College Values and Mission (10 points):**
   - Consider how well the student demonstrates awareness of and alignment with the college’s values, including qualities like curiosity, commitment to community, or passion for learning.
   - Score: __/10
   - **Feedback:** Identify where the essay effectively communicates values or experiences that align with University of Wisconsin–Madison’s mission. Suggest any specific aspects that could be strengthened to better reflect these values.
 
**Final Score: __/100**
 
In your final comments, provide an overall impression of the essay, summarizing both its strengths and opportunities for improvement. Give explicit examples for replacements for areas of improvement. Explain why you assigned the final score and how the essay ranks on this scale in terms of admissions potential.

My interest in computer science is rooted in a passion to drive societal change by developing accessible technology. I’m drawn to UW–Madison because of its drive to leverage technology for real-world impact. I find it essential for building systems to address complex, human-centered problems.
Growing up, I developed a fascination with building things, whether that was creating models, coding simple applications, or, in one particularly memorable instance, building a Jenga tower that touched my ceiling. The careful planning, strategic placement, and attention to stability all kept that tower standing tall—until I sneezed while placing a block—knocking the whole thing down. Though humorous in retrospect, I was distraught in the moment. Such incidents have taught me the importance of both structure and scalability, which became guiding principles in my pursuit of computer science. Just like that Jenga tower, systems and programs are built on interdependent pieces, and without strong foundations, even minor disruptions can create widespread issues. This is especially true in distributed computing, where seemingly small design choices impact system stability and reliability.
Distributed computing, with its focus on building scalable, resilient systems, is particularly appealing to me. The ability to support millions of users across the globe relies on carefully designed architectures, load balancing, and fault tolerance. I’m inspired by the challenge of designing systems that can handle real-time data, manage heavy workloads, and operate seamlessly—making a system more than its constituent parts. At UW–Madison, the research opportunities in distributed systems and large-scale computing align perfectly with my goals. Courses like Introduction to Algorithms and Operating Systems would help me build a deep understanding of the principles I need, while research programs in systems and machine learning would enable me to apply this knowledge practically.
In particular, I am excited by the work UW–Madison is doing around accessibility in computing, where technology can be a tool for inclusivity rather than a barrier. As someone who has tested a variety of ergonomic tools, I understand the importance—especially for people with disabilities or from underserved communities—of accounting for these “edge cases”. By focusing on maintainable design and development, I aim to ensure that the systems I build can serve a broader audience, and be served by a developer base just as broad. I believe that this perspective is furthered by UW–Madison’s diverse academic environment, pushing students to consider not just the technical challenges but also the ethical and social implications of their work.
For me, computer science is not just about innovation but about using that innovation to create positive societal impact. I see technology as a bridge that brings people together, enhances communication, and provides access to innumerable resources. As an example, I developed a website for the shop of my Engineering club in high school, and accounted for text readability, keyboard navigation, as well as fast and predictable content. Without this website, projects would have to be ordered in the clubroom—which was practically never manned—and in providing an alternative method of access, I greatly improved both sales and happy customers. I made sure to discuss with this audience about their problems in navigation—whenever a query was unclear or hard to navigate. I feel like this feedback has strengthened my understanding of what makes a program accessible.
The University of Wisconsin–Madison offers a unique setting where I can pursue these interests on a much larger scale. Through bleeding-edge research facilities and advice from world-class faculty, I know my understanding of creating accessible, resilient systems to prioritize user needs will flower. The spirit at UW–Madison, along with its collaborative commitment to innovation and community impact, makes it an ideal place for me to grow as both a computer scientist and an advocate.
Through choosing UW–Madison, I greatly look forward to placing my name in the history of excellence in computer science that reaches beyond campus walls, using my skills to tackle the complex, meaningful challenges that define and rule our world.