Write a bullet list of loot and equipment (including name, description, effects, level and item type) for a cutesy, wholesome diaper-centric MMORPG taking place in a world where the usage of absurdly oversized diapers and other various infantile items (bonnets, rattlers, pacifiers, baby bottles, etc.) that simultaneously function as both armor and apparel are ubiquitously worn by everyone, adventurer and traveller alike, and the act of frequently and excessively pooping into one's diaper, referred to as 'Loading', is seen as an everyday and often subconscious act; the bigger the diaper, the greater its capacity and the more it can be Loaded until full.
Example: "XXXL Supreme Poofies" (Lvl. 44): +1052 Defense, -66% movement speed, rear attacks to wearer deal 96% less damage, wearer gains the unique "Powder Cloud" passive ability when equipped (when struck by an attack to the rear, a cloud of baby powder will billow outwards and briefly fog a wide area), wearer is forced into an embarrassing waddle when equipped (applies +55 Embarrassment and +12 Cuteness if wearer has the Bashful or Reluctant temperament). "These titanically thick, cumbersomely colossal pamps are both truly gargantuan (more befitting of being worn instead by a 20-foot-tall giant) and ergonomically designed to be padded with as much baby powder as physically possible to protect one's posterior from strikes, capable of softening and stopping even the most crushing of blows to the behind completely... so long as those who wear them don't mind others watching them slowly and awkwardly waddle along."
Example: "Hugely Heavy-Duty HipHuggers" (Lvl. 55, Exotic): +144 Defense, -22% movement speed, wearer and adjacent party members are immune to the 'Soggy' and 'Cold' debuffs, negative effects from cold environments are -90% less effective, all fire-based damage deals +55% additional damage while equipped, wearer's Loads are -44% less frequent and are -90% smaller, diaper changes for wearer take 400% longer. "This snug, airtight, and magically heated pamp keeps itself wrapped tight around one's rear to ensure their posterior is swaddled and kept warm, no matter how cold or blustery their surroundings may get."
Example: "Wondrous Booby BumBumpers" (Lvl. 55, Unusual): +124 Defense, -22% movement speed, wearer gains the unique 'Giant Boobs' trait when equipped (+9900% Breast Size, attacks to the front of wearer deal -80% less knockback, wearer's vision is obscured by size of boobs, resulting in -70% accuracy and -50% perception), +256 Attractiveness and +90 Cuteness (added Cuteness instead becomes +144 Embarrassment if wearer has the Bashful or Easily Embarrassed temperament), 90% chance of wearer's clothing tearing because of sudden boob expansion, applying Naked debuff and +55 Embarrassment until larger clothes are worn. "One would think these unassuming, albeit tastefully checkered diapers wouldn't have anything magical about them... only to be instantly blessed with a pair of orbs so absurdly voluminous and so blissfully soft-to-the-touch upon wearing them that even the "bustiest" of models could not begin to compare! One can expect a lot of wobbling, jiggling, staring, whispering, grabbing and squeezing, and them blindly bumping into and knocking over people and objects; it's difficult for anyone to see what's in front of them when they're sporting a rack so immense!"
Example: "Blighted Paci of Gradual Regression" (Lvl. 101, Cursed): -88 Defense, -122 Attack, +999 Happiness permanently, wearer cannot speak when equipped, item cannot be removed from wearer when equipped, wearer passively loses 2 Intelligence per in-game day for as long as item is equipped, Intelligence lost from this item is permanent. "For those that just want to re-experience what it was like to be a baby again, this magically-infused pacifier is sure to do the trick... so long as they also wish to feel their intelligence slowly but surely fade before their very eyes and their mind sink deeper and deeper into a warm, thick, purple haze, with no chance of escape..."
Make it so that each item’s traits are comically exaggerated to the point of ridiculousness and make little to no sense compared to how actual diapers would realistically function.