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 it feels good to scratch it
the problem with mosquito bites of
course is that after you scratch one you
typically wish you hadn't done so the
itch returns intensified and by
scratching the bite you increase the
chance that it will become infected much
the same can be said of anger although
it feels good to vent it you will
probably subsequently regret having done
so it is one thing to vent anger or
better still feign anger with the goal
of modifying someone's behavior people
do respond to anger what I have
discovered though is that a significant
portion of the anger event can't be
explained in these terms when I am
driving my car for example I
periodically get angry
righteously I think at other drivers who
drive incompetently and sometimes I even
yell at them since my windows and theirs
are rolled up the other drivers can't
hear me and therefore can't respond to
my anger by not doing again in the
future whatever it was that made me mad
this anger although righteous is utterly
pointless by venting it I accomplished
nothing other than to disturb my own
tranquility
in other cases although I am righteously
angry at someone I cannot because of my
circumstances express my anger directly
to him so instead I find myself having
black thoughts about him again these
feelings of anger are pointless they
disturb me but have no impact at all on
the person at whom I am angry indeed if
anything they serve to compound the harm
he does me what a waste I have found by
the way the practicing stoicism has
helped me reduce the frequency with
which I get angry at other drivers I'll
yell perhaps 1/10 as often as I used to
it has also helped me reduce the number
of black thoughts I have about people
who wronged me long ago and when black
thoughts do infect me they don't last as
long as they used to because anger has
these characteristics because it can lie
dormant within us and because venting it
feels good
our anger will be difficult to overcome
and learning to overcome it is one of
the biggest challenges a stoic
practitioner faces but one thing I have
found is that the more you think about
and understand anger the easier it is to
control it as it so happens I read
Senecas essay on anger while waiting at
a doctor's office the doctor was
woefully behind schedule and as a result
I was left sitting in the waiting room
for nearly an hour I had every right to
be angry and in my pre stoic day as I
almost certainly would have been angry
but because I was thinking about anger
during that hour I found it impossible
to get angry I have also found that it
is quite useful to use humor as a
defense against anger in particular I
have found that one wonderful way to
avoid getting angry is to imagine myself
as a
character in an absurdist play things
aren't supposed to make sense people
aren't supposed to be competent and
justice when it happens at all happens
by accident instead of letting myself be
angered by events I persuade myself to
laugh at them
indeed I try to think of ways the
imaginary absurdist playwright could
have made things still more absurd
Seneca I am certain was right when he
pointed to laughter as the proper
response to the things which drive us to
tears Seneca also observes that he shows
a greater mind who does not restrain his
laughter then he who does not restrain
his tears since the laughter gives
expression to the mildest of the
emotions and deems that there is nothing
important nothing serious nor wretched
either in the whole outfit of life
besides advising us to imagine bad
things happening to us
the Stoics as we have seen advised us to
cause bad things to happen as the result
of our undertaking a programme of
voluntary discomfort Seneca for example
advises us periodically to live as if we
were poor and Musso Gnaeus advises us to
do things to cause ourselves discomfort
following this advice requires a greater
degree of self-discipline than
practicing the other stoic techniques
does programs of voluntary discomfort
are therefore best left to advanced
Stoics I have experimented with a
program of voluntary discomfort I have
not attempted to go barefoot as mu Sonia
suggested but I have tried less radical
behavior such as under dressing for
winter weather not heating my car in the
winter and not air conditioning it in
the summer I have also started taking
yoga classes Yoga has improved my
balance and flexibility reminded me of
the importance of play and made me
acutely aware of how little control I
have over the contents of my mind but
besides conferring these and other
benefits on me Yoga has become a
wonderful source of voluntary discomfort
while doing yoga I twist myself into
poses that are uncomfortable
or that in some cases border on being
painful I will for example bend my legs
until they are at the very edge of a
cramp and then back off a bit my yoga
teacher though never talks about pain
instead she talks about poses giving
rise to too much sensation she has
taught me how to breathe into the place
that hurts which of course is
physiologically impossible if what I am
experiencing is say a leg cramp
and yet the technique undeniably works
another source of discomfort and
admittedly of entertainment and delight
as well is rowing shortly after I began
practicing stoicism I learned to row a
racing shell and have since started
racing competitively we rowers are
exposed to heat and humidity in the
summer and to cold wind and sometimes
even snow in the spring and fall
we are periodically splashed
unceremoniously with water we develop