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Assistant: Title: I want so much to open your eyes 'cause I need you to look into mine
        Author: waitingforvizzini waitingforvizzini 
        Chapter: 1/6 
        Summary: Jinshi has been ordered by the Emperor to inspect the progress of the potatoes and other crops Lahan's brother helped set up in some of the more remote villages of the Eastern Province. There's a catch though... Apparently dreamed up by the Empress herself: He's to do so under the guise of a merchant traveling with his wife. And who better to play the part than a certain apothecary...Otherwise known as: everyone is tired of Jinshi and Maomao dancing around each other and conspire to get them to work things out already.Some slight spoilers up to LN14. It shouldn't be anything too dramatic, but if you want to make sure you're not spoiled for anything, definitely read the light novels first.ALSO: So far, if you want to skip really explicit scenes, the only chapter that has that is Chapter 5. I've made it fairly stand alone, so you can skip over it pretty easily if you want to avoid that kind of thing. I'll update here and at the beginning of any future chapters that have more explicit materials as well.
        Contents: Chapter 1: The Invitation
    

    


  

  
  
    
    It occurred to Maomao, as it had so many times before, that agreeing to this assignment would likely mean no end of trouble for her. Still though, Jinshi wasn’t exactly someone she could simply refuse, even after everything they’d been through. Taking a moment to think the request over, Maomao observed the man sitting in front of her. He had a slight frown on his face, as though he too were thinking that this could spell trouble. He had been more protective of late; far less likely to put Maomao anywhere near any action that might happen on his trips and tasks. Even on the recent hunting trip, he’d ordered Maomao to stay in the tent. Not that she’d listened ultimately. Regardless, he seemed more loathe than usual to put her in any compromising or dangerous positions. And yet, here he was, requesting she come with him on this trip. “I know you’ve been very busy in the medical offices, and normally I wouldn’t have bothered you with such a request, but the Emperor himself seems insistent that I have very specific staff with me this trip,” Jinshi frowned. Apparently, Jinshi had been tasked with visiting a few of the more remote villages in the central region, in order to see how the production of produce that Lahan’s brother had introduced was coming along. Maomao supposed she should be thankful they weren’t being asked to travel all the way to the Western Capitol again, but still, something nagged at her. “If a member of the medical offices is needed, wouldn’t it be better for Doctor Li to come along with you, sir? Or even Tianyu? I am, ultimately, just an apothecary,” she asked, bowing her head. When she glanced up, Jinshi’s frown had become something of a scowl. “Perhaps. I’m honestly not sure what he’s on about, insisting I need someone from the medical staff coming along. But if I must bring someone along, I dare say, I’d rather it be you than Tianyu…” Jinshi blushed ever so slightly, and looked away upon saying this. Maomao understood though. Tianyu was a bit much after all. She nodded her agreement, a look of distaste apparent as she thought of the young physician. “I suppose, if it’s a direct request from the Emperor, there’s not much I can do but agree to go, Master Jinshi.” Jinshi frowned at this, “Maomao, you always have a choice. At least with me.” Maomao understood what he was trying to say, but still, “With all due respect sir, I don’t think there’s much even you could do to help me turn down this request. Besides, I’m curious what herbs I might be able to collect in some of the more remote locations.” “Very well. I’ll send word to Dr. Liu immediately. We’ll be departing in the morning, so go ahead and head home to pack and rest up. I’ll send a carriage for you first thing in the morning.” “Certainly sir,” Maomao bowed her head once again and made to turn for the exit of Jinshi’s office. “Maomao?” “Yes sir?” “You know you always have a choice with me, right?” Maomao considered this briefly, choosing her next words carefully, “I know that it’s important to you that I don’t feel forced into things. There are, however, sometimes where our wishes don’t match reality.” Jinshi’s frown deepened, but he simply nodded and looked away, as though embarrassed. Not that there’s any good in being coy about it, Maomao thought as she walked through the office doors and back to the carriage that would take her back to the medical dorms, Some things simply are what they are, no matter how much we wish they were different. ~~~ The next morning, Maomao entered a carriage with a small pack of belongings, as well as a collection of medicinal herbs, bandages, and other medical supplies from the medical office. If she was going to go on this trip as a medical official, she was going to do it right. When the vehicle came to a stop, she found herself outside of Jinshi’s personal residence. Suiren, Basen, and Chue all were waiting outside, along with a different set of carriages. “Miss Maomao, Miss Maomao! Good morning! Miss Chue is so excited to be traveling again and accompanying her friend along the way!” “Miss Chue, Miss Chue, it’s good to see you too,” Maomao said, with a genuine smile on her face. Suiren and Basen greeted her as well, though Basen looked more concerned than happy about the entire situation. “This is a rather small traveling party, isn’t it? Or are there others still coming?” Suiren answered her, “Not to worry Xiaomao, there are a few other guards coming along. The overall number of staff is being kept to a minimum however.” Maomao considered this. Jinshi had only given her the bare minimum of details the other night, so she still didn’t have a great idea of how the logistics of this trip were going to work, or what part she had in it. As she considered, she felt both Chue and Suiren guiding her on either side towards one particular carriage. “Miss Maomao will be in here, ok? Alright, have a good trip!!” Maomao rolled her eyes. It was obvious who else would be in the carriage as she opened the door, so when she saw Jinshi staring melancholily out the window, she didn’t so much as blink. Still, she thought, they could stand to be a little more subtle about things. They nodded at each other, and Suiren opened the carriage door again to bring them some provisions for the road with a bow. “Try not to have too good a time in there!” She said with a wink. Maomao did her best to hold in a sigh. She knew the others meant well, but even with Jinshi’s confession last time they were together (in a very similar situation actually), Maomao had her doubts about whether Jinshi was ever going to move forward with things between them. Call it self-doubt, call it delusion, call it whatever you like, but regardless, despite ample opportunity and permission from Maomao herself, it remained true that Jinshi seemed reluctant to touch her still. Something had changed, though she was hard pressed to pinpoint exactly what it was, or when it had happened. Jinshi may have said before that he was scared he wouldn’t be able to let her go once he had her, but the fact remained, that Maomao felt he might also be having doubts due to their difference in station. Or that, deep down, she had been a passing fancy that he felt obligated to still entertain for whatever reason. Even a year or two ago, this wouldn’t have bothered her in the slightest. After all, Maomao was used to her lot in life. She was acclimated to not being wanted or desired. It was, in fact, how she had preferred things. It kept things simple. It was why she had painted freckles on her face for so long, and why she had avoided any deep attachments to others. Maomao was an independent creature, and while she had learned to lean on others more recently, how to open up, and the joys of giving and receiving affection from others (she’d even gone so far as telling Miss Chue she loved her! Under duress, but still, that was unthinkable even a couple of years ago), it wasn’t as though the growth she’d experienced with her interpersonal connections negated her independent streak. Nonetheless, it was undeniable that some kind of change had occurred recently, not only for Jinshi (whatever that change was), but for Maomao as well. When she had decided to “accept Jinshi’s affections” as she had put it to him, she wasn’t going to do it by half measures. She may not be an easy person to bring around to relationships and affection, but she was ready now. And so, all the small rejections… All the times Jinshi no longer called for her, all the times he reached out for her hand, only to pull away at the last moment, all the times he refused to use her name anymore… They were building up into a hurt she was trying hard to suppress. Made all the harder by being thrust into these situations by the well-meaning but overzealous ladies in waiting, Suiren and Chue. Maomao knew they meant well. They simply wanted to see both Maomao and Jinshi be happy. And happy together at that. She couldn’t help but think though, that the timing just hadn’t seemed to work out, and that perhaps she had waited too long to decide she could return Jinshi’s affections. He hadn’t called on her over the last few months, until now, when it was on the Emperor’s orders. It was possible he’d changed his mind, or that the feelings he had shown before had been more of a passing whim for him. Possibly they were all for his own amusement even, and now things were awkward because she’d made things too real. No matter. She ostensibly had a job to do, and regardless of any annoying, lingering feelings, she would do that job to the best of her abilities. Which brought her back to the question… “Master Jinshi, would you mind explaining to me why exactly the Emperor thought you would need medical staff on this trip? Not that I mind, like I said, I would like to see what sort of medicinal herbs I can find in the more remote portions of the region… But it seems that your usual contingent of guards would have been plenty for both poison testing and protection. I highly doubt you’ll run into enough trouble to require serious medical attention.” Jinshi finally looked at Maomao, turning away from the window with a slight frown still on his face, as though he had been pondering some unpleasant thought. He sighed as he answered, “There’s something I probably should have been honest with you about earlier. This envoy is supposed to be more or less undercover. The Emperor said it’s to keep a low profile, as an appearance by the Moon Prince himself would be too distracting to those around us, and to our goals. Apparently, the empress also thought it would be a good idea for me to pose as an average merchant. And that it would be best for a certain apothecary to pose as my wife.” “I see,” Maomao said, looking out the window herself this time. Meddlesome folks everywhere it seems. Jinshi grimaced, “Yes, it seems there are.” “Hrghk!” The corners of Jinshi’s mouth turned up ever so slightly, “Inside thoughts breaking out again?” “Something like that…” “Well, if we’re going to be pretending to be something other than what we are, better do your best to keep those internal thoughts where they belong. Wouldn’t want anyone catching on to our deception after all.” “Yes, sir!” Jinshi frowned again, “And one more thing. If we’re going to be forced to pretend to be a couple, you’ll have to get used to dropping the formalities around me. For the remainder of this trip, as long as we’re in public, we’ll be equals.” “Of course, Master.. I mean. Jinshi.” After that, Maomao and Jinshi rode for a long time in silence, both staring anywhere but at each other. ~~~After a very uncomfortable and quiet few hours, the carriage came to a stop, the horses needing a break for water and rest. Jinshi shot out of the carriage so fast, Maomao was almost out of breath watching him. Not entirely sure where he went, and certainly in no mood to follow someone so loathe to spend time with her, she took her time getting out of the carriage herself. Might as well give him time to get away I guess. “Miss Maomao, Miss Maomao!” “Miss Chue, Miss Chue! How can I help you?” “Have you had a nice ride so far?” Chue’s eyebrows waggled conspiratorially, “Miss Chue thinks you two will have the perfect cover on this trip. After all, the Moon Prince is awfully fond of you, it should be very easy to pretend don’t you think?” Maomao sighed, “Miss Chue, I don’t think Master Jinshi necessarily feels any sort of way towards me. I think you might be mistaken.” “Miss Maomao, what could you mean?” “He’s looked grim ever since he told me about this trip yesterday. And he’s been distancing himself lately. It hardly feels like the actions of someone who feeling affection for another person.” Chue supplied an uncharacteristic frown, “Miss Chue thinks you haven’t been entirely honest with each other. Don’t you remember what Miss Chue told you back when we were in the Western Capitol?” Maomao remembered alright. “I know you have your circumstances Miss Maomao. It’s important to not get carried away by your emotions! But… You can’t let that be an excuse either.” 
  They were words Maomao had thought about often since they had all returned to the Eastern Capitol. They were what had sent her, resolved, to Jinshi’s personal abode, ready to accept his affections. They were what kept her here, instead of refusing outright to even come along on this expedition. They were the only thing keeping her from completely shutting down at Jinshi’s behavior as of late. Because Chue was right, ultimately. The connections she’d made during her time in the Rear Palace and beyond were invaluable to her now. She may have thought, once upon a time, that she couldn’t understand the emotional ties some people had to each other but that was never entirely true. It had been a way of protecting herself really. You can’t get hurt if you never put yourself out there. It had protected her when she was a child, largely ignored while crying in the Verdigris House, and it had protected her well into adulthood. 
 “Miss Chue, what if you’re wrong though. What if I expose myself and it’s all for nothing. What if… What if it hurts?” “You can’t stop the hurt from happening Miss Maomao. All you can do is surround yourself with as much support as you can in the time you have left. And remember, it may hurt for a bit to feel the sting of rejection, but the hurt of never knowing will last a lifetime.” With that, Chue winked at Maomao and began dancing off with flags twirling around the fingers of her remaining good hand. Maomao, for her part, sat down on the stairs of the carriage, deep in thought.'
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