Write really overly-funny superhilarious comedy 17+ scooby-doo transcript based on my prompt: (but make it more funnier comedy)

A headless figure, holding a candle stick, roams a seemingly abandoned, spooky old mansion.

Fred, Daphne, Velma, Scooby, and Shaggy cruise down a wooded back-road towards a rock festival when they pull up to a farmer on the road who says his name is Asa Shanks. He informs them there is a fork in the road and that they should take the long way, because the short way leads past the mansion, haunted by a headless specter. To Scooby and Shaggy’s horror, it’s decided they go the short route because they’re low on gas. The van then overheats and Shaggy and Scooby go look for water in an old well by the mansion. But a white-sheet “ghost” floats up out of the well and the gang doubts Shaggy and Scooby’s story. Realizing there is no bucket in the well, the gang heads inside the mansion after seeing a light. Entering, they are chased away by a floating candle. Then the gang find a small parlor with a painting of a man named Jefferson Stillwall pointing to something. The head goes missing off the painting, only seen by Shaggy and Scooby and again, the gang doubts them. They hear a knocking noise and they follow it to a room with an empty box with the head of Jefferson Stillwall inside (which causes Scooby to pass out in terror until Shaggy revives him with a scooby snack twice), but the head is only a wooden dummy. The curious clan follow footprints and end up splitting up to follow different footprints. Velma, Scooby and Shaggy stumble into a dark room and find the Headless Specter! In a colourful chase, the specter tries catching the three until they crash through a window and fall down into the well, finding a hidden passage.

Fred and Daphne find a bedroom with an old diary with an entry stating “July 12, 1822. Marching men in single file hide the secret. Stillwall shows the way”. Then, they find a trapdoor that leads into a fruit cellar. The passage found by Velma, Shaggy and Scooby leads to the fruit cellar and the gang reunites. In the cellar, they find canisters of helium and a jar of balloons. They deduce the ghost in the well was just a sheet covered over a helium-filled balloon. Velma concludes that the diary refers to a line of columns and the painting of Stillwall in the parlor must be pointing to a specific column. But the painting points to an old greenhouse. Shaggy and Scoob enter the greenhouse and find the specter. Pursued, they run into the well and fly up on the balloons. Shaggy, Scooby and the specter crash into the hen-house and the Headless Specter is unmasked as Penrod Stillwall, descendant of Jefferson Stillwall. He made up the specter to scare people away so he could search for a treasure that is hidden somewhere in the mansion, which is rightfully his since he’s a descendant of Jefferson Stillwall. The gang assures Mr. Stillwall that none of them want his ancestor’s treasure and even offer to help him look for it.

The gang and Mr. Stillwall hear the thumping noises coming from the attic again–Mr. Stillwall admits that he thought the gang was the one making all the noises while they thought he was the one doing it. Fred and Shaggy go up into the attic to see a man wearing a sheet over himself, chopping the walls of the attic with an axe. The man spots them and gives chase, but Shaggy and Fred lead the chase outside, where Daphne and Velma are waiting with a trip wire. They trip up the sheeted-figure, who crashes into a column, making it collapse. The sheeted figure is revealed as Asa Shanks, Penrod’s neighbor, who was also looking for the treasure. Scooby reveals the treasure from inside the column: a carpetbag stashed with hundreds of thousands of dollar bills. Penrod is overjoyed by the discovery and wants to know how he can thank the kids, with Shaggy simply asking where the nearest pizza parlor is.

As the gang continue on towards the music festival, they discuss the direction of the painting, and figure it must’ve been moved, otherwise it would’ve pointed directly at the column with the money inside. Scooby then rapidly plays on his drum, tangling his arms.