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 the idea of of responding to everything
in real time to being on top of
everything in real time not only is this
not a recipe for productivity it's a
recipe for misery too
[Music]
summarizing all of stoic philosophy
epictetus says it comes down to
persisting
and resisting meaning there's some stuff
you should start doing you should keep
doing that you should do and then
there's other stuff that you should stop
doing you should resist doing i'm ryan
holliday i've written about stoke
philosophy now for almost 15 years
talked about it everywhere from the nba
to the nfl special forces sitting
senators and i've done a lot of videos
on what a stoic should do you can check
all those out but in today's episode i
wanted to talk about things that stoics
should not do things that stoics don't
do that you should stop doing so here we
go things stoics don't do
generally stoics aren't trying not to be
afraid of things but of all the things a
stoic tries specifically not to fear
it's change mark cerita says all things
are born from change right everything
good that ever happened to you in your
life came from change a stoic doesn't
fear change because they're prepared for
stuff because they know they can handle
anything marx surrealists in meditation
says what am i going to do about
tomorrow he says i'm going to meet it
with the same weapons that i met today
right knowing what you're capable of
knowing what you can handle means you
don't have to fear change you don't need
to cling to make everything the same and
part of the stoic idea of indifference
doesn't mean you don't care but it means
you're good either way so because the
preparation a stoic does they don't need
things to be a certain way stoic doesn't
have to have a preference about how
things are going to go tomorrow whether
it's going to be rainy or beautiful
whether it's going to be hot or cold
whether people are going to love them or
hate them they know what they're
supposed to do they can handle anything
so stoke doesn't fear change doesn't
have preferences right because we don't
need to we can handle anything that life
throws at us
a lot of stuff happens every day every
minute but here's the thing most of it
doesn't matter right marcus really says
you're better off not giving small
things
more attention than they're worth
basically don't sweat the small stuff
right the stuff that's not up to you the
stuff that doesn't move you closer to
where you want to get in life the stuff
that distracts you from what you
actually should be doing you have to
tune it out we talked about this in one
of the other videos the idea that you
don't have to have an opinion about this
it doesn't even have to register with
you you can ignore it you can stay
focused on what matters you can ask
yourself is this essential does it
matter and if it doesn't what do you do
you ignore it
[Music]
when someone criticizes me i do this
exercise for marcus you realize that he
says think about this person think about
what they just submitted to think about
who they are think about what they're
addicted to think about what they've
ever accomplished and what you realize
is that this person whose opinion you
were about to let supersede your own
evaluation of yourself in your work is
actually worse than meaningless they're
like the opposite of who you're trying
to be so it's good that they don't like
what you're doing you don't want their
approval focus on what you think focus
on who you want to be as he says we love
ourselves more than other people but
then for some reason we care about other
people's opinions more than our own
that's insanity you got to focus on who
you are on your own internal scorecard
on your sense of self that's what you
measure yourself against not the
nonsense of other people not the
worthless opinions these people who
quite frankly you don't respect anyone
a stoic doesn't need to get even marcus
aurelius is the best revenge it's to not
be like that and this is a person who
experienced coups who was lied about who
was attacked constantly right said the
best revenge is to not be like the
person who wronged you seneca says that
we we get angry about things but how
ridiculous that is he says you never
return a kick to a mule or a bite to a
dog right a stoic understands that by
nature of what we do who we are we're
going to get attacked we're going to get
criticized people suck they're going to
hurt us they're going to do things but
what a stoic doesn't do what you have to
stop doing is need to get revenge need
to get even need to get your pound of
flesh because someone did something to
you you're fine you weren't harmed by it
you're gonna be all right and you can
let it go
people wake up and that what's the first
thing they do they check their text
messages they check their email they
basically make themselves an item on
someone else's to-do list the quality of
their day is determined about what so
and so tweeted or what message came in
or what the the latest breaking piece of
news is and that's no way to live marx
really says you have to stop being
jerked around like a puppet you have to
slow down you want to be in control of
your morning you want to be in control
of the inputs that are coming into you
you don't want to be starting the day
from behind you don't want to be
starting from this place of freneticness
you want to be in control so i think
it's really important that you start the
morning off right that you start your
day off right now you don't let things
coming in determine the quality of your
day the quality of your life
[Music]
there's a great story about napoleon who
famously wouldn't read his mail until
three weeks after it arrived he knew
that most problems will resolve
themselves but if you're checking
constantly if you're so reachable you'll
be inserting yourself into things that
you don't need to be inserted on you'll
be spending time on things that will
resolve themselves you can imagine
marcus realists doing a similar strategy
epictetus or seneca the idea of of
responding to everything in real time to
being on top of everything in real time
not only is this not a recipe for
productivity it's a recipe for misery
too you have to be willing not to know
every single thing that's going on to
not be so reachable that anyone can
interrupt you in your concentration
anytime follow napoleon's advice sleep
with your phone in the other room leave
your phone in the other room and you're
going to do something important don't be
so reachable
you don't have to let this get to you
marcus screeley says you don't have to
let it upset you you always have the
option to have no opinion he says you
can just let it go you can let it drift
by like clouds as the buddhists talk
about when they talk about thoughts you
don't have to let it sink in don't have
to let it harm you you don't have to let
it get you riled up you don't have to
get worked up you don't have to respond
you can just let it go i want you to
know that don't have to let this get to
you
you can just let it go
epictetus says that when you look
outside yourself for approval you have
settled you've handed over your
happiness or your autonomy meaning and
this is such a critical stoic idea when
we talk about what's in our control
what's not in our control how you should
judge yourself whether you're getting
better whether you're a success whether
you're rich whether you're whatever it
is it can't be determined by other
people what you've done is hand over
your life on a platter to other people
obviously this is wonderful when people
are celebrating you and saying they're
awesome but what happens when that turns
or right what happens if the crowd is
wrong what happens if the times that
you're in are valuing the wrong things
so epictetus is saying that you want to
look inward you want to create your own
standards your own scorecard for what's
important to you so a stoic doesn't look
to outside sources outside people
outside benchmarks for their success for
their happiness for the self-worth you
find that internally
epictetus said that philosophy wasn't
this dry abstract thing it was a thing
he said you should be talking about
writing down reading about exploring
with other people all the time he said
constantly have it at hand that's how i
think about philosophy and it's weird
for the last five years every single day
i've been writing this free email about
stoic philosophy
it's been not just cool to meet all
these fellow practitioners of stone
philosophy but in writing about it
talking about it reading it for our
podcast i have got to internalize these
ideas in a way that i never would have
been able to under any other
circumstances that's the idea philosophy
is something you're supposed to engage
in not keeping these dusty old books or
read once and be done with it's a
constant process and i think that's why
the email has worked so well for the
people reading about it and sharing it
and talking about it all of that as well
so i'd love to have you join us on this
email you can sign up at dailystoke.com
daily email it's totally free no spam
you can unsubscribe whatever you want
i've basically given away a book for
free every single year for five years
and i'm going to keep on doing it until
i drop dead check it out dailystoke.com
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