discuss this matter in great detail with me, covering all the obvious and non obvious, hidden aspects too . a girl asked me ----  recently went on like 3 dates with this guy, and he's been so assuring to me. he kept calling me by sweet names and saying that I'm gorgeous, cute, beautiful. he even said he loved my smile and when I said that I myself don't like it, he so sweetly said that it's a very beautiful smile and I should believe it. he's been so verbally appreciative of me. more than I've been to me till this day combined. I will have to tell him that we aren't compatible for each other, cause we really aren't. I just feel so bad that I won't be able to hear his reassuring words. of course I'll not lead him on selfishly when I know it won't work out between us, but it does make me very sad that I won't have anyone who assures me and makes me feel so beautiful and loved like he did. so sad that I cried last night, wondering if I'll ever find a partner who's as sweet in that aspect. I really hope I do. I really want to be that person for myself, rather than expecting others to do it for me. but that seems like an impossible thing to do. I wholeheartedly hope he finds a partner that is the best for him and makes him happy.        ok -- so what i think is, I think he’s very aware of how his words affect people. There are people who know how to build you up, so they can tear your down. I hope he knows very little about you so you can break up with him without him knowing where you are. He sounds abusive. Most people get with abusers not because they knew they were abusive. They actually started out the nicest people that they had ever met. They do recognize how beautiful and special you are. But then after a while they can’t continue to tell you these things because they think you’ll realize you’re the one that’s actually out of their league and leave them, so after they feel like they’ve got you, now they work to make you feel small. A red flag is if they accuse you of things that are actually describing themselves not you. You’ll be so confused how they could ever see you this way and defend how that’s not you, because it isn’t. It’s them. 

Don’t stay for pretty words. Words are easy to say. Making good Actions consistently are what’s hard to do. Men know we fall in love through our ears and pay less attention to their actions. Start journaling and listening to the scriptures, wise words etc. I’m so happy I’m mentally where I’m at. And never stay in a relationship based on a fear of never getting words of validation from someone again. That’s a model that abusers use. They start to condition a person to stay by convincing them that only they have the eyes to see you’re beautiful, yet you offend them so much that’s why they treat you so bad, but They are sUcH A goOd PeSoN that’s why only they will put up with you to stay.  Someone who’s a good person sees you as beautiful, recognizes that you’re not perfect and neither are they so you both figure out how to deal with things giving each other grace. Love is patient, love is kind, it is not quick to anger. Especially over little things. Love has self control, love has boundaries and respects boundaries. Love is okay with hearing No when necessary. Love respects. 

If a person truly thinks you are beautiful and lovable. They would never say things like nobody else will ever love you or make you feel like nobody else will, because if they see all these good things in you and love them, they know other people can see them too. I live in LA and I realized most men out here get women by making them feel like crap. I used to think I was fat and if I looked like a model I wouldn’t get treated this way, these men were just settling for me. LOL I was the one settling for THEM, and the only thing giving them the power was keeping me in confusion thinking I was ugly when I wasn’t. It’s gaslighting. There will be legit models being treated like trash by men thinking it’s because they don’t look like another “prettier. Skinnier. Thicker. Etc…” model. People will always abuse someone who doesn’t recognize their power and identity. That’s why the Bible is so important at its core that’s what it’s about, giving people their independent power and identity back and recognize what God says about them not man. Because man is susceptible to lie. God doesn’t lie.