What does this text need in order to imprve it and make it stronger:To improve the formatting of the revised text, we can use paragraphs to separate different sections and lists to present information more clearly. Here's the revised text with improved formatting: The Earth Space Transit Dock (ESTD) orbited the Earth, unmatched in its enormity and facilities compared to any other facility. From the observation window of the Tamstone Cylinder, young women looked out across the gulf of space at the ESTD, captivated by its grandeur. At the age of twenty-three, Jade McConnell held the distinction of being the youngest fleet captain in the service's history to command a CAG-Nomec 2032 Interseller freighter. She worked for Stanner'Tec Freight Lines, the largest company in the Civilian Mercent Fleet. The Star Raptor, assigned berth number eleven, was clearly visible when docked at the ESTD. Its hull illuminated the pale blue of Earth's atmosphere, making McConnell wonder if this place was truly her home. Laid up for eight long months, her ship, the Star Raptor, remained without a load, which was among her many pet peeves. Among the challenges McConnell faced were the so-called 'Jackers,' a term used to describe people connected to the hive mind through a device implanted at the base of their skull. In its early stages, people physically connected to the hive mind using a jack cable. However, as technology advanced, the jack and port were replaced with a smaller patch-like device. McConnell herself had a link device, although she only used it occasionally at work. Born on Earth, Captain McConnell detested the planet and longed for peace. The constant noise, including sentient robots and other distractions, made her dream of retiring to an out-of-the-way asteroid colony in a little-known sector. Jade McConnell's personal life was a stark contrast to her professional one. Her mother was the queen of her tribe in Tanzania, and her sister by adoption, Lux, held the title of princess. Lux possessed immeasurable intelligence and considered herself average, yet she exuded elegance, grace, and captivating beauty. Lux radiated power without needing to express it. Despite her busy schedule, visiting her family was a priority for Fleet Captain McConnell, although passing through quarantine was not something she enjoyed. In the year 6050 AD, traditional monarchies were rare, but the Am-Waw-Nee-Ko'nah People had existed since the Middle Bronze Age. They enjoyed special protection, allowing them to engage in traditional practices, such as hunting within quotas. Despite the many technological advancements that had taken place, interstellar travel was still subject to quarantine regulations, which made visiting her family a challenge for Fleet Captain McConnell. On the overcast and grey morning of August 4th, with a light breeze outside, Jade McConnell turned on the Vid-Com and initiated contact with Freight Command New York. Eric Kamson, pushing 60, had thinning hair and the universe's worst comb-over. Three years prior, he had been found on the Star Raptor's Bridge, resulting in his removal and suspension after Captain McConnell reported the incident to dock security. Expressing her frustration to Kamson, Fleet Captain McConnell questioned why her ship, unlike others, struggled to find loads. Citing Article 39 of the Third Aims and Louis Convention on the Movement of Goods in Interstellar Space, McConnell pointed out that all fleet captains employed for load movement in interstellar space were entitled to equal access to available loads. She had studied these regulations since she was five years old. While waiting for Mary, Jade McConnell examined the large holographic information display behind her, seeking updates on space weather, such as sun activity, solar flares, and coronal mass ejections. Mary St. Michel, another member of the Am-Waw-Nee-Ko'nah people working in interstellar shipping, appeared on the Vid-Com. She greeted Fleet Captain McConnell and engaged in their usual banter. Fleet Captain McConnell sighed and leaned back in her chair, contemplating the need for flow, cohesion, and continuity in her writing to ensure clarity and avoid confusion.