Happiness -- many will advise you how to obtain it but maybe you're not trying to
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be happy. Your actions aim for the opposite. You want to be the
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saddest saddo sailing on the sea of sadness -- much easier to achieve and this
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video has 7 tactics to get you started toward the dark currents, at least one of
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which you are already doing. So let's begin. First, stay still. Remain indoors as
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much as possible, preferably in the same room. Be the human equivalent of a pile
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of laundry -- inert, unmoving. Don't let a beautiful day tempt you for a walk. Avoid
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anything even vaguely exercisial. This keeps reward chemicals out of your
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brain which could diverge you and stillness guides you towards medical
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problems which will keep this wheel turning. Stillness is the most effective
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thing you can do, so be the laundry pile. Make your bedroom your allroom. Live and
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work and play and sleep in the smallest radius you can. Which brings us to screw
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with your sleep. The wrath of insomnia will be your co-pilot on the sea of
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sadness. Her mere presence is unpleasant, but she also helps confuse the
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productive part of your brain which might look to navigate you toward the
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islands of happiness on the horizon. More on that later. A regular sleep cycle is a
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fragile thing and takes at least three days to establish. Be sure then to vary
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your bedtime by several hours twice a week, at least. Even better:
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vary your wake time. Sleep in late, preferably very late, some but not all
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days. And tell yourself you are making up for sleep to feel like you're doing
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something healthy even though you feel terrible when you wake up early and when
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you wake up late. Irregular sleep is another of the sea's accelerating
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currents. The more you vary your sleep, the harder regular sleep becomes, which
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makes your sleep more variable. To never sleep or wake at the same time naturally
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is the goal. And to help in this, maximize your screen time. Staying on-screen
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complements the previous sailing tactics. Boredom could drive you to motion, so let
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the screen entertain you. Tiredness can push you to sleep, so let the screen keep
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you awake, sort of, as long as possible. Always fall asleep with a screen in your
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hand and put your eyes back on it as soon as you wake.
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Every moment away from a screen is a moment you might notice the horizon. Keep
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your head down and let the currents pull you. Here you have allies unknown. Behind
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the screen are teams of the smartest people and brightest bots competing to
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hold your attention on them as long as possible. Let them reach you to pull you
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back if you turn away. Plus, screens help with number four: use your screen to
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stoke your negative emotions, to feed your anger or anxiety about things over
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which you have no control or influence. Be well informed while doing nothing. The
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things you care about could be navigational guides out of the sea,
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reasons to leave your allroom and take meaningful action with the humans around
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you. But you can instead use the things you care about as further sources of
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misery. Focus on the bad to fuel your resentment or despair. If you must
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contribute, do so only in meaningless token ways and be disappointed in the
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lack of change. We're coming towards the end and if you're doing it right, misery
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is descending. But some part of your brain is rebelling, trying to turn the
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ship by setting a goal. If you're not careful, that part of your brain just
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might save you, but luckily we can do more than just hobble it. We can fool it
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to navigate deeper into the sea. To reach goals, they must be specific, measurable,
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actionable, for which you are responsible, and time bounded. I will turn the wheel
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one degree right now. Instead, set the productive part of your brain on vapid
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goals: vague, amorphous, pie-in-the-sky, irrelevant, delayed. Make the target
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unclear and the path unclear. If motivation strikes, aim ridiculously high
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to guarantee failure. I will clean the whole house today is much better than I
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will do the laundry in this pile. Cleaning a whole house is impossible.
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There's always more to do, so you will always fail. Focus on goals that are
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after what you wish to achieve. Learn how to market an app before you learn to
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code. This will distract the productive part of your brain quite nicely. And be
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sure to wait for motivation rather than setting a time. You'll do something when
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you feel like it, which will be never or never enough to matter. With vapid goals,
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you will turn the productive part of your brain from a dangerous source of
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self-improvement that rewards every small step into a consistent nag
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that berates you for your failure to have already accomplished your goal
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every step of the way. Now the vapid goals you've set should
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distract the productive part of your brain, but if it still fights against you,
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direct it towards the mirage on the sea of sadness: the islands of happiness
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themselves. Pursue happiness directly. The human mind is such that by setting sail
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towards happiness, you will achieve the opposite. Imagine happiness as a place
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where happy people are happy all the time.
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This turns happiness into an unreachable feeling of constant bliss that no one
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has. True happiness is like a bird that might land on your ship, but never if you
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constantly stand guard to catch it. Instead, improve your ship and sail into
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warmer waters -- the bird will land when you aren't looking. Uh -- so be sure never to
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do that. Aim toward the mirage of happiness rather than improving the ship
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upon which you sail. Last, but most important, follow your instincts.
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Navigation deeper into the sea of sadness is quite easy, for there is a
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dark magnetic field that points the compass of your impulses in the right
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direction once you get started. You will want to stay indoors, you will want to
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not exercise, you will want to sleep in, you will want to do what you know will
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make you sadder after you've done it. Your compass points the way, both in and
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out, so follow the true north of your impulses and stay away from that other
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pole of the long-term. It's all so simple. Just get started with these tactics and
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let the sea carry you along.
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This video was produced as an adaptation of How to Be Miserable by Dr. Randy J.
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Patterson, which is a great example of how thinking about the opposite of your
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goal can help you achieve what you really want. And if you want to listen to
6:18
it for free you can do so on Audible.com with their
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free 30-day trial. Audible is the best place to get your audiobooks. It's where
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I get my audiobooks and you should too. Audible content includes an unmatched
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to listen to it, Audible has it. Go to audible.com/grey to get your free
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audio book with a 30-day trial. There you can get How to Be Miserable or any other
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book that you want. We briefly covered seven of the strategies from the book,
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but there are 33 more and I highly recommend that everyone read it to find
6:55
the ones that most resonate with you. Audible is simply the best. You can
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listen to your book anywhere, they will always sync your place, and they have
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