please summarize this bullet summary

# tactiq.io free youtube transcript
# watch this if you feel like everything is falling apart
# https://www.youtube.com/watch/LFxmbG70yk0

00:00:00.080 When Everything feels like it's falling
00:00:02.080 apart maybe it's your business
00:00:03.439 struggling to stay afloat or your team
00:00:05.520 losing focus or even just the chaos in
00:00:07.720 your personal life those are the moments
00:00:09.559 where it feels impossible to Le but
00:00:11.759 here's the truth leadership is not about
00:00:14.040 showing up when it's easy it's about
00:00:16.039 stepping up when everything feels hard
00:00:18.160 this isn't just about business it's
00:00:19.800 about life because leadership is
00:00:21.960 universal and every single one of us is
00:00:24.359 called to it at some point so recently
00:00:26.640 my company has been growing really fast
00:00:28.679 and one of the hardest things to manage
00:00:30.199 is actually keeping the culture intact
00:00:32.040 it is easy for things to slip through
00:00:33.520 the cracks and as Leaders we kind of
00:00:35.559 have to step in and address them even
00:00:37.000 when it's really uncomfortable and so
00:00:38.600 recently I had to have one of those
00:00:40.520 really tough conversations with the
00:00:41.920 Department there was some gossiping
00:00:43.760 there was some shady Behavior there was
00:00:45.760 some stuff happening in the workplace
00:00:47.199 that was just completely against our
00:00:49.079 culture and so at first I was like uh
00:00:51.280 how the did we get here but then I
00:00:53.239 realized it actually made sense because
00:00:54.640 I was like okay the team's grown really
00:00:56.559 quickly I haven't had time to reinforce
00:00:58.800 the values and that's on I had to step
00:01:01.000 up and I had to remind everybody what do
00:01:04.040 we stand for I had to make it clear what
00:01:06.680 was acceptable what was unacceptable and
00:01:09.000 then I had to explain consequences of
00:01:12.080 what it looks like if those things occur
00:01:13.799 again what happens is really I stepped
00:01:15.680 into this department and I said all
00:01:17.320 right straight up you've got a choice if
00:01:19.439 you want to act that way that's fine but
00:01:22.079 you cannot act that way again and still
00:01:24.040 have a job here this is an atwi job this
00:01:26.439 is not a prison if you're not on board
00:01:28.040 with the culture if you don't like what
00:01:29.320 I'm saying if this sounds gross to you
00:01:32.000 that's your call but it's also on me to
00:01:34.799 make sure that you understand where I
00:01:37.000 stand on these issues and here's the
00:01:38.880 thing I hate these conversations
00:01:40.520 they are never fun but what I've learned
00:01:42.479 is this avoiding them only makes things
00:01:44.640 worse because if people don't know the
00:01:46.520 expectations or the consequences how can
00:01:49.399 they change or decide if this is where
00:01:50.880 they want to be and if you let things
00:01:52.520 slide you're just creating bigger
00:01:54.200 problems for yourself later and so with
00:01:55.840 that being said what I want to do is I
00:01:57.200 want to share with you the Three core
00:01:58.960 principles that I use when it feels hard
00:02:01.920 the first principle is that there are no
00:02:03.960 Perfect Solutions early in my career I
00:02:06.439 tried to control everything I loved
00:02:09.160 control I just tried to micromanage
00:02:11.520 everything in the company right I'd wait
00:02:13.080 for the perfect timing to address an
00:02:14.680 issue or to bring people together here's
00:02:16.560 the thing I used to think that solving
00:02:18.640 problems required finding the perfect
00:02:20.599 solution and until I had found the
00:02:22.280 perfect solution I couldn't move on I
00:02:23.720 couldn't do anything I needed to find a
00:02:25.519 solution that could fix all of the
00:02:28.120 aspects of every problem but here's the
00:02:29.959 truth waiting for the perfect solution
00:02:32.239 creates more problems leadership it's
00:02:35.440  messy and progress almost always
00:02:37.720 comes from taking action despite knowing
00:02:40.519 it's imperfect taking action quickly is
00:02:43.159 more valuable than finding the perfect
00:02:45.280 answer because while you're waiting for
00:02:47.120 Perfection here's the thing new problems
00:02:49.599 are stacking up and so leadership is
00:02:52.319 about moving forward even when the path
00:02:54.599 isn't clear you don't have the luxury of
00:02:57.120 waiting until it's clear when you're a
00:02:58.640 leader because guess what what you have
00:03:00.879 to be two steps ahead of everybody else
00:03:03.120 when I talk about recognition
00:03:05.080 reinforcement and repetition I do all of
00:03:07.879 those things because there's no perfect
00:03:09.239 solution for this it's not like you have
00:03:10.920 some silver bullet this is how you grow
00:03:12.599 a great culture it's a lot of volume a
00:03:14.720 lot of work a lot of repetition a lot of
00:03:16.959 redoing things and a lot of reminding
00:03:18.680 people so here's what I think you should
00:03:20.640 ask yourself if you feel like you know
00:03:22.519 what Lea I resonate with you I a perfect
00:03:24.519 Problem Solver until the problem is
00:03:26.120 perfectly understood and I have a
00:03:28.159 perfect solution I don't want to solve
00:03:29.519 it ask yourself this what's a solution
00:03:32.120 that solves 70% of the problem okay
00:03:34.599 because you want something that solves
00:03:36.319 more than 50% but not 100% of the
00:03:38.920 problem because often problems require
00:03:41.560 multiple Solutions not just one perfect
00:03:43.840 one Perfect Solutions do not exist only
00:03:46.879 unrealistic expectations Exist by the
00:03:49.239 time that you have found the perfect
00:03:50.480 solution three new problems have already
00:03:52.720 appeared you know what I always tell
00:03:54.280 myself when I'm in these situations
00:03:56.760 where I'm I find myself wanting a
00:03:59.159 perfect solution is this Champions don't
00:04:01.519 wait for perfect conditions Champions
00:04:03.760 pursue challenges in the face of
00:04:05.640 imperfect conditions the second
00:04:07.879 principle is that leadership is tested
00:04:10.760 when things are hard so when I was
00:04:12.319 working with this team that I realized
00:04:14.280 that all these problems had occurred and
00:04:15.799 it was completely underwater right
00:04:17.399 performance was down drama was high
00:04:19.238 people are uncertain they're like what
00:04:20.440 the going on our leader out now I
00:04:22.440 remember having meeting where I was
00:04:24.720 standing in front of them and I had this
00:04:26.400 thought pop up in my head which was
00:04:28.440 they're not just looking at the plan
00:04:30.479 they're looking at me I did not have all
00:04:32.080 the answers but I did know that if they
00:04:34.440 saw me hesitate if they saw me doubt
00:04:37.320 then they would crumble and so I took a
00:04:38.759 deep breath I spoke with confidence I
00:04:40.919 kept the energy positive I only showed
00:04:42.680 certainty and it was not perfect but it
00:04:45.479 worked because they saw me as their
00:04:47.360 source of stability what I've learned is
00:04:49.600 this how I show up dictates everything
00:04:52.720 if I'm steady the team has hope if I
00:04:55.360 show up with doubt or hesitation they
00:04:57.240 lose trust and momentum and so it's in
00:04:59.039 these moments that I remind myself of
00:05:01.080 this one thing I'm the rock I am their
00:05:04.199 Rock if I falter so does the team
00:05:07.039 because here's the thing leadership
00:05:08.560 doesn't count when everything's going
00:05:10.759 well it counts when the storm hits when
00:05:13.880 the performance tanks when the culture
00:05:15.800 deteriorates the drama escalates
00:05:18.080 leadership is about being calm in the
00:05:20.560 storm it is not easy there are days
00:05:22.759 where I feel like crap I felt like
00:05:24.840 crap this morning where I'm burned out
00:05:27.080 where I would rather do anything but
00:05:28.800 show up that day but I have learned
00:05:30.840 those are the days where I show myself
00:05:32.800 that I'm worthy of being the leader it's
00:05:34.319 not about showing other people all the
00:05:36.039 time it's also about knowing how you
00:05:38.479 show up when nobody's watching the days
00:05:40.400 where I lead with unwavering confidence
00:05:42.919 are the days that not only keep the team
00:05:44.759 moving but also where I earn my own
00:05:47.280 respect I had to show up confidently for
00:05:49.400 that team because what happened was they
00:05:51.600 had a a normaly right there's things
00:05:53.720 that are normal and then boom an event
00:05:55.840 occurs and then all of a sudden it's
00:05:57.400 like what way is up what way is down
00:05:58.680 blah blah and it's almost like you think
00:06:00.080 about a kid that falls down right the
00:06:01.840 kid falls down they scratch their knee
00:06:04.199 and then they look to the parent to say
00:06:05.960 is this okay should I be hurt should I
00:06:07.919 be upset and how that parent responds in
00:06:10.280 the moment dictates if that child is a
00:06:12.680 victim if they're a Victor if they're
00:06:14.440 going to cry if they're going to get up
00:06:15.800 and brush their knee off that's who
00:06:17.360 dictates it and so I look at myself as I
00:06:20.080 determine how they react to the
00:06:21.479 situation if I am steady if I am
00:06:23.759 confident if I am focused on the future
00:06:26.639 then they will too sort of like uh I
00:06:28.800 used to work at a horse camp and when I
00:06:30.440 worked at this horse camp and you had to
00:06:32.080 learn how to tame these horses the
00:06:33.800 hardest part about taming the horses is
00:06:35.680 that if you're afraid of the horse
00:06:37.479 you're going to look at its feet and
00:06:38.520 you're going to look at its head and if
00:06:39.680 you do that the horse won't go where you
00:06:41.120 want it to go because the horse is
00:06:42.560 watching your eyes and so what you have
00:06:44.360 to do is you have to watch the horse's
00:06:46.000 bum and if you're watching its bum it
00:06:47.680 will go where you want it to go but if
00:06:49.199 you take your eyes off because you're
00:06:50.520 scared at where the horse is going then
00:06:52.280 the horse is going to freak out it's
00:06:53.280 going to go all different directions I
00:06:54.639 look at leadership the same way I have
00:06:56.440 to be so targeted in where I'm looking
00:06:59.360 right I have to be focused on the future
00:07:00.960 all the things we're going to do next
00:07:02.120 and things we're going to do right and
00:07:03.240 if I don't Focus there if I focus on the
00:07:05.319 past mistakes if I focus on what went
00:07:06.960 wrong if I focus on how I feel that day
00:07:08.680 if I focus on these problems that are
00:07:09.960 happening that nobody knows about then
00:07:11.599 other people's attention goes there too
00:07:13.319 and so the thing is is that where your
00:07:14.879 attention goes so will the teams and if
00:07:17.440 they're distracted because you show up
00:07:19.319 frazzled you show up uncertain you show
00:07:21.120 up lacking confidence then they will
00:07:22.879 soon show up the same way I think that
00:07:25.039 being able to lead on days when it feels
00:07:27.840 really hard and you feel really tired
00:07:30.360 and just not like doing it you have to
00:07:32.960 remember that one you signed up for this
00:07:37.039 this is not something bad that happened
00:07:39.440 to you this is not you are something you
00:07:41.720 are a victim of this is something that
00:07:43.479 you choose to do with your own Val like
00:07:46.120 this was a choice that you opted in for
00:07:48.120 you get to do this and so in those
00:07:50.680 moments what I believe you have to
00:07:52.240 remind yourself of is that it is selfish
00:07:55.199 to show up poorly for your team all
00:07:57.479 these people are relying on you you
00:07:59.520 chose to do this and yet you show up
00:08:01.199 poorly for them and I have had to remind
00:08:03.319 myself of that in the moments where I
00:08:05.639 feel the emotions seeping out of me
00:08:08.400 right it's like as best as I try to
00:08:10.000 contain it it might still be like
00:08:11.400 seeping out little little holes and I
00:08:13.759 remind myself I'm like that's selfish
00:08:15.039 Lea all these people are here for you
00:08:16.800 they trust in you they're putting their
00:08:18.080 Futures in you you owe them the best of
00:08:20.240 you and if you know that you can show up
00:08:23.000 better then you better show up
00:08:24.599 better and that's what I tell myself so
00:08:26.360 here's the thing if you find yourself in
00:08:28.840 a Time where things feel really hard and
00:08:31.159 you've got to show up for your team
00:08:32.479 you've got to ask yourself this am I
00:08:34.080 showing up in a way that makes me
00:08:37.000 respect myself more or less as a leader
00:08:39.919 and here's the thing that I always
00:08:41.399 remind myself of and I think it was one
00:08:42.559 of the best books I ever read was about
00:08:44.200 anti fragility the best leaders are not
00:08:47.120 just resilient they are antifragile okay
00:08:50.120 resilience is how quickly you can get
00:08:53.240 back to Baseline after adversity occurs
00:08:56.279 right so it's like how short is that
00:08:57.600 distance an example would be if you get
00:08:59.839 broken up with how long does it take you
00:09:02.279 to emotionally regulate yourself does it
00:09:04.160 take you a week a month three months 6
00:09:08.320 months we all know somebody who got back
00:09:10.200 to it the next day we all know somebody
00:09:12.240 who's still up of a breakup that
00:09:13.920 was 15 years ago now resilience is one
00:09:16.519 thing anti- fragility is another because
00:09:18.880 anti fragility means you don't just get
00:09:20.920 back to Baseline after adversity but you
00:09:23.079 get better have you ever seen that
00:09:24.560 person You've Got a Friend for example
00:09:26.120 they get broken up with instead of like
00:09:27.880 getting down on themselves and making it
00:09:30.120 to the point where they don't for their
00:09:31.399 job and they get fired and then they're
00:09:32.880 in fights with their friends and instead
00:09:34.760 of that they lose weight they go to the
00:09:36.880 gym they start making more money they
00:09:39.160 start upgrading their friend groups and
00:09:40.839 they start being a better version of
00:09:42.760 themselves that is anti fragility and
00:09:45.040 the best leaders are not even just
00:09:46.800 resilient they're anti- fragile it is
00:09:49.079 hard because it is unfamiliar not
00:09:52.160 because you're incapable of doing it
00:09:53.800 just remember they're called Growing
00:09:55.399 Pains not growing joys for a reason okay
00:09:58.600 and your opportunity in business lies in
00:10:01.079 the hard work that everybody else avoids
00:10:03.560 and the third principle is that the only
00:10:05.800 way to embrace growth is to let go of
00:10:08.160 control I used to think that leadership
00:10:10.560 was about control it was about managing
00:10:12.440 every detail and preventing all the
00:10:13.959 mistakes but then one day I realized
00:10:16.360 that my desire for control was actually
00:10:18.160 stifling growth because here's the thing
00:10:20.120 you can have control and you can have
00:10:21.880 growth but you can't have both at the
00:10:23.800 same time and I think that the natural
00:10:25.800 inclination that I had early in my
00:10:28.240 career and then I think a lot lot of
00:10:29.519 people have when you're going through a
00:10:31.040 hard time is to exert more control but
00:10:33.519 what I've learned is that it's not about
00:10:35.800 exerting more control it's about leaning
00:10:37.760 into the fact that you can't control it
00:10:40.120 it's about accepting uncertainty it's
00:10:42.440 about being okay with the mess being
00:10:44.320 okay with the chaos and showing people
00:10:46.560 that you're okay with it and they can be
00:10:48.399 okay with it too and that you can't
00:10:49.880 control everything that's going to
00:10:51.000 happen you can't control every little
00:10:52.240 thing in what way it's going to go but
00:10:53.959 you can control how you respond to it
00:10:56.360 and I really think that it's being able
00:10:58.240 to have a healthy relationship with
00:11:00.639 ambiguity a healthy relationship with
00:11:02.680 uncertainty and a healthy relationship
00:11:04.760 with the fact that you don't know what
00:11:06.120 the is going to happen tomorrow and
00:11:08.040 if you can't have that getting through a
00:11:10.639 hard time is incredibly difficult
00:11:13.320 because the reality is is that you can
00:11:14.760 create the illusion of control but you
00:11:16.880 don't actually control everything you
00:11:18.800 might have influence but you can't
00:11:20.639 control people you can't control what
00:11:22.160 they do you can't control the economy
00:11:24.160 you can't control the market you can't
00:11:25.720 control politics you can try see I think
00:11:28.000 of it like this right I think culture
00:11:29.760 like a diet it's easy to lose weight
00:11:32.160 when you have total control eating at
00:11:33.880 home no junk food no social events
00:11:35.639 literally no life but life doesn't work
00:11:37.720 that way and neither does leadership
00:11:39.320 people can't control everything people
00:11:40.639 are unpredictable and chaos is
00:11:42.399 inevitable and so your job isn't to
00:11:44.639 eliminate the chaos and the uncertainty
00:11:47.079 it's to Wrangle it the biggest challenge
00:11:49.240 that you're going to have in going
00:11:50.839 through hard times and facing ambiguity
00:11:52.959 uncertainty is how you manage yourself
00:11:55.560 just like I said we have to reinforce
00:11:57.839 the culture we've got to constantly
00:11:59.360 repeat the culture what do I do every
00:12:01.519 morning I constantly remind and repeat
00:12:03.639 to myself what is my goal what is my
00:12:06.040 mission who do I want to be how do I
00:12:07.920 want to show up for my team and I have
00:12:09.399 to remind myself of that every day in
00:12:11.959 order to remind other people of it and
00:12:13.839 so amidst all of this when all this is
00:12:16.040 happening you have to stay grounded in
00:12:18.279 who you are and who you know you want to
00:12:19.800 be the first thing I do when I wake up
00:12:22.040 is think about it remind myself of it
00:12:23.880 and think about how can I do something
00:12:26.079 1% better today than I did yesterday and
00:12:28.920 I focus on what I can do better not what
00:12:30.639 I did wrong addressing the issue will
00:12:33.240 always make things worse in the short
00:12:34.839 term and it will always in the short
00:12:36.839 term make it seem like the team is
00:12:38.680 weaker but here's the thing you have to
00:12:40.720 stick it out it takes 6 months minimum
00:12:44.600 when you make a change it's a lot of
00:12:45.959 chaos for at least 3 months and then
00:12:47.959 what you really start to see is at like
00:12:49.440 month four and month five the team can
00:12:51.440 become stronger than they ever were
00:12:52.920 because think about this who are you
00:12:54.440 closer to somebody that you went through
00:12:56.160 a really hard time with or somebody that
00:12:58.160 you've never been through a hard time
00:12:59.560 with and so the thing is this in the
00:13:01.160 short term it's going to be really hard
00:13:03.279 but you have to stick it out and you
00:13:05.040 have to have faith long enough to show
00:13:06.920 your team that when you get to the other
00:13:09.079 side it's actually even better than it
00:13:10.800 was before one of the best things that
00:13:12.399 ever happened in my last company was Co
00:13:14.279 in the moment I wouldn't have known what
00:13:15.600 a blessing it was until I had gone
00:13:17.160 through the entire thing but I watched
00:13:19.320 it change our culture to be so much
00:13:22.079 stronger I would say it was three times
00:13:24.079 stronger coming out of Co than it was
00:13:25.560 going in because we had to do things
00:13:27.279 together we went through things together
00:13:28.600 we went through hard times together that
00:13:30.079 we would not have gone through had that
00:13:31.360 not happened and in the moment I didn't
00:13:32.880 know it just felt like this undue stress
00:13:34.880 and this anxiety and this uncertainty
00:13:36.839 but on the other side we came out as
00:13:39.160 comrades that went to battle together
00:13:41.800 that knew how to fight with each other
00:13:43.600 that knew how to fight for each other
00:13:45.399 that knew how to deal with uncertainty
00:13:46.920 with each other that knew how to go
00:13:48.240 through things together and how to
00:13:49.560 support each other to come up better and
00:13:51.399 so the positive that you see is you
00:13:53.720 teach the team that they are resilient
00:13:55.920 that the relationships are resilient and
00:13:58.120 that things can actually be better if
00:13:59.920 you are patient and so what I would
00:14:01.839 suggest is that you ask yourself this
00:14:04.000 what problems are persisting in your
00:14:06.120 business because you are resisting them
00:14:08.680 you you want to control everything right
00:14:10.560 and so you resist the problems that are
00:14:12.519 occurring rather than just saying what
00:14:14.040 are the problems of my business because
00:14:16.399 every moment you spend in resistance is
00:14:19.079 a moment that you steal from progress
00:14:21.759 the only thing that alleviates fear is
00:14:25.040 taking action identifying problems
00:14:28.079 taking action and the anxiety will
00:14:30.279 dissipate a Leader's greatest
00:14:32.120 opportunity to build culture is during
00:14:34.279 crisis and culture is not what you say
00:14:36.519 you are culture is what you show you are