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before prepositions: And so, I just started praying and asking God, would you make us a couple that prays together? And honestly, year after year, it never really happened. We would pray before meals, or we would pray like maybe every once in a while, if we got in the car and going on a trip or something like that. But I know both of us didn’t really have that in our family.

And so, it wasn’t modeled for us totally. But after about 20 years of praying for this, and I don’t mean to throw him under the bus. We’ve talked about this.

It’s a good one. It’s a big one. And it’s not like I didn’t know.

Nor is it that you’re not praying in your own life, right? It’s just different to try to pray with a spouse. There was an intimidation factor. And again, if this is a spiritual exercise and not only do, we have God who’s for us, there is an enemy against us.

And he’s whispering the whole time, like, you’re not good. You know, like, what are you going to pray? And, you know, there was this performance factor that I was feeling and that I wasn’t depending upon the spirit to actually move into that space. And when men aren’t confident about anything, they don’t move typically.

Yeah. And so anyway, go on. Anyway, so 20 years of prayer, he was a great husband.

I, you know, honor him in that way. But that was just one area where I’d be like, oh, I want to pray. And actually, Dennis and Barbara Rainey, who I think you who you will have on the show or if out on on this podcast, he was like he would be saying his thing.

We pray every night together. And I’d be like, I want to do that. But we just don’t, you know? And and so anyway, I’ve been praying for a long time that we’d be a praying couple.

And for some reason, about 20 years into our marriage, I don’t know the Lord. I guess the Lord just moved and answered my prayer finally. But we happen to need two new chairs, and we had this corner in our room.

We were in a new home, and we bought these two new, like, comfortable chairs. And we found ourselves there every morning together drinking our coffee and reading our Bibles or whatever. And we had teenagers in the house.

And one day, Brian just said, do you want to you want to pray today? And I was like, because we have teenagers in the house. Yeah, that’s really that’s that’s really the link between those two. So, you had had some struggles with teenagers.

And really, yeah, the struggles that we had with our one of our teens or two of our teenagers kind of was a little bit of an impetus. But it was just like and then the next day we found ourselves there again and he would say, should we pray again today? And I was like, yes. And now we have this habit.

But it didn’t happen for 20 years. And so, if there’s something that you see in your spouse, start praying about it and don’t give up. That’s very scriptural.

Don’t give up and pray about it. Jesus asked us to do that. And I think for me, I really tried hard and there was times my heart was disappointed.

But don’t keep nagging about it and don’t keep, you know, just like be quiet and pray about it. And it can go both ways. And now I mean, though, again, we’re not perfect.

And now we’re in a different season where we have some kids out of the house, and he has to leave the house a little bit earlier than I do. And so, it’s now it’s not quite as regular because we have a different schedule. But as much as we can, if we find ourselves in those two chairs, which we do quite often, we we pray together and we have a little system for doing that that we love.

And it’s not anything like crazy or anything, but it’s just different people on different days. And we always pray for our three children, and we always pray for each other. And now now that’s a little habit that we have.

But if you’re a young couple hearing this and you’re like, we’re never going to get there. Have patience. Keep praying.

I love asking God. Absolutely. And to me, that aspect of it, of not nagging your spouse, which might be a temptation when you’re younger, but learning to give it to the Lord.

And it sounds like you were honoring Brian still in that time, even though you shared what you wanted, but you were nagging about it. Play the long game. Play the long game.

Yeah. You know, I have a question, though. OK.

Yeah. So, we said we want to we want to be in a place where a rhythm or a pattern is that we’re going to talk to each other. We’re going to ask each other, how can I help you? We’re going to try to study each other.

We’re going to try to be patient when we’re not getting what we want. Pray. I like all that.

But just by nature of actually getting together and talking is if you’re going to be honest with each other, it’s going to produce some conflict. Right. Maybe some hurt feelings or I feel threatened, or I feel defensive right away because I’m not doing something that you want me to do or I’m failing you in some way, which can, you know, escalate.

And because that happens, right? You end up actually having an argument because you were honest with each other. So, I’m curious, again, I don’t put everybody on the spot. I mean, what do you say to that? What do we do when we’re in this, when we actually are honest with each other, and it turns into an argument, or it turns into we can’t get past this spot with each other? What would be your advice or thought on? OK, what’s the next step? I think I just heard one from Jen, which would be if we’re talking to people who actually see God as their ultimate authority, you should talk to him and bring him into it.

Right. I heard that. What else would you suggest we do when we feel that? Your question.

Yeah. I think I heard from you different personalities. So, needing more space and then liking to engage.