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Assistant: Title: The Birds, The Bees, and Penelope
        Author: A_quill_in_the_night A_quill_in_the_night 
        Chapter: 1/1 
        Summary: When newly presented Penelope Featherington overhears a conversation not meant for her ears, it leads her to search for answers.Who better to ask than her dearest friend Colin?Set in Season one, with baby Polin NotesTagged underage s@x as Pen is 17 and Colin is 19
        Contents: Chapter 1: The Question
    

    


      
        
          
          (See the end of the chapter for  notes.)
          
      
  

  
  
    
    It was another hot sticky summer day at Aubrey Hall, one of many they had been having as of late and Colin Bridgerton had found himself in the library, exceedingly bored once again. He shrugged off his waistcoat and pushed his long white shirt sleeves further up his arms  in an attempt to cool some of the heat he felt beginning to overtake his body. He felt completely wretched. None of his brothers were available to fence with or simply have a drink, as they both had left that morning for London. Of course they had given  the excuse of important business matters, but Colin knew they were both missing certain charms from their mistresses. The younger children, as much as he loved and adored them, were simply useless to him  on such a day as this. He needed something to challenge his mind and his restless spirit. He could go see Eloise and Penelope, he supposed.  He was certain, if anyone could hold his interest on such a dreadful day, it was sure to be his dearest friend, Pen. She had a way of always making him laugh even when he felt in the foulest of moods.  It may be a challenge getting her away from his sister however, he thought to himself for a moment.  His sister, while she had her many charms, he was sure, was quite possessive of her friend. A fact, that actually was quite enraging when Colin thought about it, considering the mere fact that HE had met Penelope first! Hell, she may have never known Penelope at all if it were not for him introducing them that day in the park. The more he thought about it, the more outraged Colin began to feel. Why should he be forced to isolate, alone in the library with no friends or good conversation, simply because his sister had tried to lay claim over HIS friend. He rose, from where he had been lounging quite languidly on the settee, determined to go find his friend and steal her from his sister once and for all.  Eloise would simply have to be on her own for one afternoon. It was not like she had not spent every waking day with Penelope already. It was quite unfair and he was most positive that anyone with a sound mind would agree with him, Eloise notwithstanding, but then again, there was a question of how sound her mind was to start with.  As he strode to the library door and opened it with a determined pull, he almost lost his breath for a moment, for in front of him was the very dear friend he had just been thinking about. She stared up at him with her sweet little smile, she was after all so  endearing and kind. Her hair was done differently, he thought for a moment, then it usually was back in Mayfair. It seemed more natural this way. Loose curls hanging around her shoulders, and only slightly tight curls on the top of her head. Of course, she was wearing her signature yellow dress which made him smile even more brightly at the sight of her. He could not help it, his favorite color was yellow after all. And here was his dearest friend, the very one he was just about to search for, in front of him wearing a dress in his favorite color. “Oh, Colin.” She squeaked somewhat adorably. “ I was looking for you!” “That is most excellent news, Pen.” He grinned. “Would you believe me if I told you I was just about to come search for you as well.” Penelope gasped slightly at this and he noticed her face flushed a pretty shade of pink. The heat he supposed, must be making poor Pen quite uncomfortable as well.   “Truly?” She asked, almost incredulously as if she could simply not believe that he had been about to set search for her.  Was it truly so odd, that he would want to seek her company? “Truly. My dratted sister has stolen you quite completely since we arrived and find it most unfair considering I was your friend first.” He smiled down at her, a twinkle in his eyes, and she giggled.  “ Well you are in luck I suppose.” She said, her voice light and teasing. “Your Mama, just insisted Eloise accompany her and the other girls to the town's modiste. They need new dresses for the upcoming country ball, she is too be hosting.” Colin’s eyes lit up with excitement as he grabbed Penelope’s arm gently and pulled her into the library with him closing the door firmly behind him.  He could not believe his luck, surely this day was turning around indeed.  “And tell me, Pen.” He grinned as they sat side by side on the settee, Penelope tucking her small feet up under her skirts. “However, did you manage to escape my Mama’s clutches?” Penelope paused for a moment and then grinned. This was Colin, she knew she could tell him any of her secrets. ‘“ I may have said, I was not feeling the best from the heat.” She said conspiratorially as she leaned into him slightly, her eyes twinkling.  Colin  laughed.  “That was quite naughty of you, Pen. But be assured, I will not share you secret as it has worked out quite well in my benifit. I have been practically on the verge of death from boredom all day, with no one hear to talk to.” He sighed dramatically and threw his head back onto the back of the settee, his head turned towards Penelope, his face breaking out into a grin as he watched her giggle behind her hand. “Colin, you can not die from boredom.” She said still giggling, and he felt like his heart could explode from happiness at the sound.   “I could…and it would kill me.” He said seriously, his eyes still twinkling.  Penelope giggled again and smacked his arm lightly before leaning back on the settee herself, sighing deeply.  “What was that sigh for, Pen?” He asked, somewhat more seriously. It appeared his friend had something on her mind, she wanted to discuss. She scrunched her nose slightly and sighed again deeply.  “ I don’t know if I should say, Colin.” She said much more seriously now. Colin could feel himself beginning to grow even more concerned.  What possibly could his friend have to talk about, that she could not discuss with him, her dearest friend? “Pen, you are free to tell me anything you wish. Surely you must know that.” He said genuinely, as they both sat up more on the settee and turned so they were sitting face to face, Penelope still with her legs tucked up underneath her. “It is only…that I…well. I may have overheard something and it confused me greatly, Colin. I can not ask Eloise, for I am certain, she knows even less then I.  Colins brows furrowed. What could she have possibly heard, to cause her such distress.  “Penelope. Am I not your dearest friend?’ He held up his hand at her slight smirk before continuing. “ Don’t even speak of Eloise being your dearest or I shall throw myself from that window.” He smiled when he saw her giggle once more, her face considerably lighter then it had been mere seconds before. “ You are my dearest friend, Colin.” She said softly.  Colin felt faint at the sound of those words leaving her lips. For some reason it sent just undalterated joy flowing through him, he wanted to scream from the rooftops, that Penelope Featherington, agreed he was her dearest friend. “ Well.” He smirked. “Now that we have established these very important matters, you being my dearest friend, and I being yours, surely there is nothing we need to keep from each other? I promise you, whatever I know, to help you with your confusion, I shall do.” He winked at her and Penelope blushed that same shade of  pink once more. Was she still hot, he wondered? Funny, how he had not felt the heat at all since Penelope had entered the room. Penelope sighed deeply once more, her hand pressed to her stomach as if it were helping her breath better.  “I suppose you are right, Colin.” She said determinedly. “ We are friends, there is nothing we should not be able to discuss as such.” Colin nodded adamantly in agreement.  “ Exactly, Pen. Now out with it. What could possibly be bothering you so?.” Penelope lifted her chin, as if she were trying to not lose courage, and met his eyes. Her own blue eyes were unblinking and determined as she asked. “Colin, what is a c@ck?” Colin blinked. And then blinked again. Surely, he had not just heard that word coming out of the mouth of his best friend? Where could she have possibly even heard such a word? And why did just hearing her say it, make his c@ck twitch slightly? ”Excuse me?” He barely managed to stutter. Surely he had misheard her, he would need to make sure to clean his ears better later after his evening bath. Penelope did not hesitate, as she met his eye and asked clearly once more. “What is a c@ck?” No, there was no mistaking it. Penelope Feeatherington, his dearest friend, the sweetest kindest person he knew, had just asked him what a c@ck was. It sent chills through his body.Or was it flames? He could suddenly feel both coursing through his veins and he was certain, his c@ck was almost fully hard now, as if saying the word c@ck had  summoned it by name.  He swallowed.Then gulped. He reached for a pillow from the edge of the settee and covered his lap. Just because she had asked what a c@ck was did not mean she should be exposed to his! She was, after all, still a lady.   “Um, it is…well,” He stuttered as he reached up and raked his fingers anxiously through his long curls.  Penelope did not push for an answer, merely sat there patiently, watching and waiting.  “ Where…where  did you hear that word, Pen?” He asked. Feeling rather  pleased with himself at his ability to have even  formed a full sentence in that moment. Penelope flushed slightly, leaning in closer, her voice lowering. “ Please do not tell them, Colin, but it was your brothers.” Colin startled slightly at that.  The cads. The absolute rakes.  How dare they  speak on such things in front of an innocent lady? Did they not have perfectly good mistresses to discuss matters of c@cks in front of and not HIS friend?  He stood quickly, then realized his c@ck was still half hard and sat back down even more quickly, covering his lap with the pillow once more. Drat it, such an inconvenient time for this to be happening, he had brothers to challenge. “ How dare they.” He finally managed to spit out. “ I am so sorry, Pen. I will challenge them to a duel in your honor immediately.”  Not quite as immediately as he wanted, due to his c@ck, but poor sweet Penelope definitely did not need to hear that, after everything else she had been forced to endure already.   Penelope’s eyes widened and she froze for a moment, taking in what Colin had said and then she reached out and grabbed his arm. “No, Colin! I swear it was not their fault. If anything, it was my own. I was… well to be honest I was listening when I should not have been.” Colin’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?” “They were in the study earlier this morning and the door was open. I was meaning to find some biscuits for Eloise and I to eat in the garden, but they were speaking quite loudly and I couldn't help myself.” Her eyes dropped slightly and she appeared to be slightly guilty. “ I listened.” Ah. Colin supposed that made much more sense. He was infinitely grateful, he would not have to duel his own brothers, however willing he was to do it for Penelop’s honor.  “I see.” He said thoughtfully. “ And they were discussing…this word?” He found he could not bring himself to say it outloud in front of her. It made him feel slightly dizzy of sorts to imagine it. Dizzy and light as if he were floating.  Dizzy, light and hard. Gods, he was going to be hard all day at this rate. “ Yes.” Penelope nodded in response to his question. “ They were both discussing quite loudly about their return to London. The Viscount, Anthony, said…” She paused, slightly uncertain for just a moment before continuing. “He said that they must return to London immediately, as his c@ck could simply not go another day without being inside of a c@nt.” Colin choked.  He was not drinking or eating anything but he choked just the same. He was sure that it was now him, whose face was red and flushed.  Penelope simply stared at him. Her bright blue eyes blinking  and curious.  His eyes drifted down her face and he noticed that she was biting her lower lip softly as she awaited his response. Had her lips always been so pink or was it the heat?  Perfect, plush and Pink. Perfect, plush and pink lips that had just said the words, c@ck and c@nt. “Well.” He stuttered once more, not wanting to keep her waiting any longer. “ That was rather direct I suppose, it must have shocked you greatly to hear it.” Penelope shrugged.  “ Not really, Colin. I merely do not know what they mean? That is why I asked you.” Colin nodded.  God he was hot, he wished he had a glass of lemonade or anything to quench his parched throat.  “Well, um. Well it is a rather delicate matter, Pen. I am not sure, I am the one to be telling you such things. It  would be considered most improper.” Penelope pulled back from him slightly, her perfect pink plush lips  turning into a  perfect pink tiny pout. “ That is what I was worried about.” She said, and if her legs were long enough to reach the floor over the edge of the settee, he was certain she would have stomped them. “ You were the one who insisted, Colin. You should not have done so, if you did not mean to keep your word.” Colin began to feel quite uneasy. He did not like to see Penelope in such a state. It distressed him greatly, to see her unhappy, and well he had promised she could tell him anything. “I suppose I could tell you .” He began softly, as Penelope turned to him one more time, her eyes brightening.  “Truly?” She gasped and he grinned. He was beginning to realize that he was pretty sure he would do anything to bring her happiness.  “Yes.” He said, his voice softer now. “ But  this shall only be between us, Penelope. You must not discuss this with anyone, especially Eloise. My Mama would be beside herself if she knew Eloise had heard such language.” Penelope nodded solemnly.  “I swear it, Colin.” Colin nodded  at her and took a deep breath. It was now or never he supposed. “ Do you know anything about marital relations?” He asked, trying to keep his voice from shaking and Penelope shook her head with her eyes wide. “ My Mama refuses to tell me anything, Colin.” She said, “ She told me, I will know everything I am to know, the night before I wed and not a day sooner. I have only just debuted! How am I to find a husband so soon?” Colin gulped as his mind flashed back to the day Penelope had debuted.  It was the same day Daphne had been presented and chosen as the Diamond of the season, something in the family was most pleased with, but all he remembered was how he had not been able to take his eyes off of  Penelope. She had seemed so different that day. So shy and…well, beautiful, he supposed was the right word. In her cream dress with a large  white feather in her hair. He had made sure to tease her after that the feather was practically taller than Penelope herself. He cleared his throat. “ I see.” He said, his voice coming out much more sternly than he had intended.  “Well, have you been to a museum then?”Gods, he was already messing this up badly. Why was he finding it so hard to just be direct with her? She nodded, smiling slightly. “Yes, of course. You sisters and I go often when we are in London, I don’t understand though, Colin. Are there c@cks at the museum?” Colin didn’t know if his heart, or his c@ck could take her saying that word one more time. One of them was going to burst, and it would be sure to cause his death either way. He glanced towards the window, surely he could make it out before Penelope noticed the obvious tenting in his trousers.  Penelope crossed her arms, and her lips formed into that adorable pout once more. “Colin Bridgerton. I have known you long enough to know when you are not being truthful with me. Why can you not just speak plainly? Will you tell me or must I go ask someone else what a c@ck is?” Colin’s eyes darkened slightly.  He had no idea how his sweet innocent friend could  suddenly be so maddening. He should take her over his knee and spank her for being so impatient. Wait. He blinked.  Today had not gone as he had intended at all. He had merely wanted to enjoy an afternoon in the library, making conversation with his dear friend and now this?  He sighed deeply. “Penelope, I shall try to speak plainly for your sake, but this is not easy for me. I am not used to speaking of such matters, with anyone aside from brothers, or perhaps even my friends at Eaton. But I have…never…well, never spoken of such things with a lady before.” Penelope nodded slowly as if she understood why it might be difficult for him, however his hesitation only made her assume it could be something quite awful indeed.  “ I only mentioned the museum, as they have statues there. I am sure you have seen. Statues of the male form.” He cleared his throat as she blushed once more, and nodded slightly.  “ Men are different from women in our figures you see, just like the statues we have a…a…a member between our legs.” Penelope's eyes widened  and she nodded once more. “ I did see that.” She said quietly.  Oh, now she wishes to be shy. Colin thought to himself, smirking slightly at the sudden change in her behavior.  “That is called many things.” He continued, feeling much more confident in his ability to explain himself once he had begun. “Some people call it our member, and others…well they call it a c@ck.” Penelpe gasped. “I see.” She said somewhat breathlessly. Colin wished he could see inside her mind, and know exactly what she was thinking in that moment, but he did not need to wonder much longer, before she opened her mouth once more and began to speak. “Thank you for that, Colin.” She said softly before continuing. “ I just, I find it still doesn’t make sense. Why would Anthony say he couldn't go any longer without his c@ck in a c@nt? He wishes to put his member inside something? Is that normal for men? You  must tell me, Colin. You know no one else will and I do not have a member so I do not know these things.” She was practically pleading with him now, and Colin knew that had uncomfortable as he may have felt, he must proceed. She deserved to know about her own body for god's sake.  He had never understood, for young ladies to be kept so in the dark regarding matters of intimacy, while men like his brothers and even himself were allowed to speak about it openly amongst themselves, and clearly his brothers sought pleasure in the form of a wh@r@, or a mistress quite often. He himself had never felt the desire for such things, which is why it was exceedingly strange how hard he was simply from discussing such matters with Penelope. Was it because they were such close friends? She was, of course, beautiful. He had always thought as much, but for some reason today, as she sat there, her cheeks flushed and bosoms heaving, it was as if he were truly seeing her for the very first time. She was no longer the young girl who had knocked him over in Hyde Park, no she was now every bit the lady she was meant to be at ten and seven.  “Penelope.” He said, his voice somewhat husky. “ Let me speak plainly.” “Please, Colin.” She begged. “ I do not understand why you must speak in riddles. I am not a child anymore.” No, he thought. He had been a fool indeed, for he could see so clearly now.  She was not a child indeed. Perhaps there was a reason as to why his body was responding so eagly to the words coming out of her mouth. Ohoh. He understood now. “ A man’s member is often called a c@ck, and a woman's ... .well your center.” He gestured slightly towards her skirts and her face flushed bright red. “ A woman’s center can be called many things as well. Your quim, cunny, or your c@nt.” Penelope froze for a moment and he could tell she was sorting through all of the information he had just told her in her mind.  “ I see.” She said, as she crossed her arms in front of her chest once more. This time Colin could not help but notice the way her bosoms pushed up even more when she did this. Soft and round. Perfect. He swallowed.  “Have I made you uncomfortable, Pen.” He asked softly. She shook her head adamantly.  “Not at all, Colin. In fact, I am thankful that I have such a good friend who I may  trust to speak to me honestly and not like a child. I do not understand why my Mama would not simply explain these matters to me herself. I feel quite stupid, not even knowing such simple things.” Colin reached out and laid his hand on her shoulder softly. Noticing how she jumped slightly at his touch. “ It is not your fault, Pen. It is society that deems it necessary for women to be in the dark on these matters. I do not understand it myself, for I was quite young, when Anthony pulled me aside to explain these things to me.” Penelope nodded softly. “If Eloise knew what we were being kept in the dark about, she would be outraged.” She grinned and Colin could not help but laugh. ”So Colin,” She continued, hesitantly once more. “ When Anthony said that…did that mean, he wanted to… well, I guess that is the part I don't quite understand. I am assuming that it is part of marital relations?” She blushed again, and Colin felt his heart racing slightly. She was so brave to ask him these things despite how uncomfortable she must feel.  She was so good and so sweet. Such a good girl. “Yes Pen.” He said gently. “ Marital relations is when a man’s member is placed inside, a woman’s…well your center. The man can release his seed inside and that is how a baby can be formed.” Penelope's eyes widened. “ And men can do this with ladies who are not yet their wives?” She asked and he gulped, and nodded. “ There are, well, brothels, women of the night. Women that men may pay to find their pleasure.” “Have you ever paid for one?” She asked softly, almost as if it caused her pain to even ask such a question of him. He shook his head adamantly. “I have never, nor do I wish to. My brothers have, and as you unfortunately overheard this morning, they may sometimes take a mistress. But I  have had no desire to do so.”  She nodded, lost in thought once more, and he gulped again as he caught sight of her gently biting her lower lip once more before she turned to him, her eyes staring up into his as she whispered. “Will you show  me?”
  
  

    
      
        
        
          Pen show me your c@ck!Colin gasp I am a gentleman !'
User: Summarize the chapter based on the content provided, ensuring to follow the set format and emphasize key aspects within the specified length.
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