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Assistant: Title: Two Creams and One Sugar
        Author: Alorable Alorable 
        Chapter: 15/31 
        Summary: Hawks' retirement should have shocked the world. It should have been a top headline on the news for weeks. It should have, at the bare minimum, been noticed. But it wasn't. At least, not as far as Dabi can tell. The oversized chicken has disappeared and it seems like Dabi is the only one trying to find him.Dabi is struggling to deal with being alive when he should be dead and he's struggling to deal with Hawks vanishing when he's usually everywhere.When Dabi does finally find him though it's wrong. Everything about this is wrong.
        Contents: Chapter 15
    

    


  

  
  
    
    After getting the chicken, Touya wandered into a cake store. He didn't really know what kind of cake was Keigo's favorite but Touya did know he liked sweet things. Immediately Touya was overwhelmed by how many choices there were. Everything was so colorful. After awkwardly wandering around for too long Touya felt even more lost than he had when he walked in. He had no idea there were so many flavors and types. Apparently, frosting also had different flavors and types? Did the color change the flavor? They were so expensive too. He self consciously gripped the money he had been given in his pocket. Touya then noticed the lady behind the counter was looking at him closely and he tensed. If she figured out who he was things were going to go south fast, but even worse than that, what if she decided he needed help, like the lady at the clothing place did? Wanting to avoid that he quickly grabbed the smallest brightest cake he saw and shoved it onto the counter. He would make sure to find out Keigo's favorite for next time, and Touya wasn't much for sweets so this should be enough to smooth things over. It wasn't like things were that bad, Keigo had told him to come back.Despite that, walking back alone in the dark had Touya's doubts resurface. Mai had said not to cause problems where there weren't any, but the problem was that there already were problems. Problems Mai and the guys wouldn't understand. Touya wasn't causing new problems, he was addressing old problems... and new problems. Problems he just realized were problems. Problems that were bigger than something that a simple cake could smooth over.When he walked into the shop and Keigo looked up at the bell chime, Touya could immediately tell he had been crying. So he was right, they had both had a rough day. Touya wondered if Keigo could tell he was just as wrecked. This wasn't going to be easy, but Keigo was smart he would understand. Touya put the food on a table and went to go wrap his bird in a hug. He held Keigo close in the silence and tried to focus on everything about this moment. He pressed his nose into Keigo's hair and took a deep breath, to memorize Keigo's scent and to steady himself for what he was about to say. "Darling," Touya tried to start off softly, "we need to-""I'm sorry," Keigo's response was quick and Touya felt the back of his hoodie being gripped tightly.Touya sighed, was he worried about what had happened this morning? "No, Keigo there isn't anything you need to be sorry-""I don't mean to be needy," Keigo spoke quickly, desperately.
  What?
"Needy? No, it's not that," Touya tried to reassure Keigo, "I-I want you to tell me when you need something, actually.. no... wait. I mean, you... Keigo you... you should be more needy." Touya felt like he was floundering he had no idea what Keigo was talking about and it completely derailed him from what he was trying to say.Keigo's grip on the back of his shirt tightened and his voice hitched almost into a whine when he repeated, "I'm sorry, please-"Touya tried to push Keigo off him so he could look him in the eye. "D@mn it, why are you.. what? I already said-" Keigo scrambled to keep hold of him- "listen to me!"Now, Keigo was openly crying. He had freaked out when Touya had tried to pull him off and he was gripping Touya's hoodie as if his life depended on it. Touya felt himself become quickly flustered because this felt like even more proof that things had gotten bad without him even realizing it. Keigo's crying was making his throat tighten and it made him want to cry too. He was a terrible person who broke Keigo, and this was all his fault. The very least he could have done was to pay more attention, to see this sooner. Giving up trying to pry Keigo off Touya laid his head against the top of Keigo's and tried a different approach, "Keigo listen, you need to listen. Ok? I'm... this isn't good for you. You deserve better-""You're going to leave!" Keigo wailed, "I knew it! Why? I-I won't be needy. I won't ask for food or kick you out or say no to you or-"Touya growled, Keigo wasn't listening. "This isn't... isn't about you being needy! It's not about food or what happened this morning or anything! Keigo! This is about how you can't settle for me... for someone like me. I'm not good. You deserve someone better!" Touya was getting flustered this wasn't how he expected any of this to go. "I don't care about what you think I deserve. You don't know anything about what I deserve! You have no idea what I've- If it's not because I'm needy then, why?" Keigo's voice dipped so softly Touya almost didn't hear, "Why am I not good enough anymore?""F@ck!" Touya wrenched Keigo off of him to look into his teary snot covered face, he wiped away the tears with his thumbs. "Keigo, f@ck, listen to yourself! You are good enough! Too good! That's what I'm saying," Touya thought he was ready for how hard this was going to be, but he honestly hadn't expected Keigo to break down like this, "you could have anything... anyone you wanted.""I know what I want. I want you, Touya, please."Touya knew he wouldn't hold out against Keigo's begging much more. He had grown weak to the pouts and the crying ages ago. Even though he had a lot more to say, he couldn't say it. Not now, and probably not ever. Instead, he made a decision he never wanted to make and took the feather out of his hair and pressed it against Keigo's chest ignoring the stricken look on his face. "I don't deserve this," Touya's voice was shaking and his eyes were doing the itchy thing, "give-give it to someone better. Someone... someone you can be normal with.""Touya... Touya don't."It would be fine. Keigo meets all kinds of new people every day. Keigo was amazing, he would find friends. He would heal. He just needed the space away from Touya's damage to do so properly. Keigo was easy to fall in love with. At one point, all of Japan was in love with him. He would find normal people to spend his time with. To laugh with, tease and play games with. To kiss. That thought struck Touya deeply and unsure what else he could do, unable to explain what he was trying to explain, he bolted, out of the door and around the corner. Even with his itchy blurry eyes, Touya was an expert at dodging and slinking around dark alleyways. He wasn't sure if Keigo was following or not, but Touya knew about the tunnels, Keigo didn't, and he quickly slipped into the underground before Keigo could catch him.
Touya hated himself. Nothing new there, but right now he really hated himself. He hated thinking about Keigo with other people, other men, and he hated thinking about being without Keigo. His whole body was screaming at him to turn around, to say sorry. To beg for any kind of forgiveness for being weak, awful, pathetic. Touya knew, though, he had to do this. He couldn't be selfish any longer. He knew Keigo needed time to himself, to realize he deserved better. That someone amazing like Keigo shouldn't settle for someone awful like him.The pipes twisted and Touya didn't pay any attention to where he was going. He was only focused on trying not to slip into the slow running water as he walked along the icy path. Touya worked to avoid small pockets of people who had decided that being together was better than being alone. Touya wanted to be alone. He wanted to allow himself to wallow in his self-pity out of sight. He hadn't needed anyone back when he was learning how to live on the streets and he doesn't need anyone now. He tried to convince himself of that as he curled up to sleep alone in a dark corner he had found far away from anything.


  "Dabi?"

  Dabi opened his eyes and tried to give Hawks his trademark 'f@ck off' glare that he had mastered over the last decade. Keyword being tried, because the featherhead just brushed it right off. Instead, Hawks rolled over on the bed so that he was straddling Dabi's waist with both hands on either side of his head. Hawks hovered over him with an uncharacteristically serious look in his eye. Dabi simply waited while he allowed his hands to wander over Hawks' legs.

  Finally, Hawks clarified his reason for interrupting Dabi's peaceful after-s@x bliss, "Why don't you spend more time with the other members of the league?"

  "What?" Dabi teased, as he gently scratched his fingernails over Hawks' bare thighs, "are you concerned I'm not giving you enough information to take back to your precious superiors?" 

  Hawks pouted and his wings drooped a bit. "No, that's-that's not what I meant at all."

  Dabi, like always, gave into the pout and wrapped his arms around Hawks' thin waist. "Ok. Let's say I believe you, what thendid you mean?"

  Hawks allowed himself to rest his weight on top of Dabi and he moved to start playing with the black hair at the nape of Dabi's neck as he searched for the right words. "What I meant was..." he started slowly, as if he was worried about saying the wrong thing, "...aren't you lonely?"

  Dabi frowned as he allowed his hands to wander up Hawks' back and into soft red feathers, lonely? No. He's never felt lonely. "Not really the type to feel lonely," Dabi answered truthfully after he had given it some thought, "I prefer to be alone, actually."

  "You don't seem to mind spending time with me," Hawks purred out as Dabi's fingers found the perfect spot to scratch at.

  "You're different," Dabi said.

  Hawks' wings puffed up. 

  "How so?" Hawks asked, openly fishing for praise.

  Dabi shrugged, he honestly hadn't given it much thought. He just knew it was true.

  "Do you like me Dabi?" Hawks suddenly singsonged out in his childishly teasing way, as if they weren't currently naked and pressed up against each other.

  Dabi laughed and moved to pull Hawks into a kiss, "Sure, we can call it that."

  The wings puffed up even more and Hawks was practically beaming against Dabi's lips, and he said, "Just you wait, Hotstuff. Pretty soon you won't be able to get enough of me."

Touya woke up cold and stiff and sad. He didn't even have the energy to pretend to be aloof or angry. He was just sad. Sad at how his childhood had been. Sad about where his life ended up. Sad that he hadn't met Hawks sooner, that he had-Agitated Touya got quickly to his feet ignoring the way his body cracked and protested and his scars pulled painfully. He needed to stretch, his quirk was good for warding off the cold but did nothing for his stiff joints. Touya slowly walked the halls listening to the sounds around him. It was still quiet above with only the occasional sound of a vehicle driving by. It must still be late, or early. Keigo probably hadn't even had to hit snooze 3 times yet. Touya pressed his palm to his eye and rubbed. He didn't want to think of Keigo. If he let himself do that, Touya wasn't sure he would be able to stay away from the coffee shop.Touya continued on, he wasn't paying much attention to the directions he was going in. It didn't matter. He managed to sneak past another group o people who were huddled together, whispering to each other to ward off the cold and the loneliness. Touya didn't need that. He could keep himself warm. He had always preferred to be alone. Touya scowled at the image the invaded his mind from his dream. He put some distance between himself and the group. Maybe he didn't want to be alone. But he didn't want to be with them.He kept walking, listening to his boots scuff and crunch the ice. It reminded him of his nightmare and he found himself mimicking the action of trailing his hand along the wall. Being away from Keigo was a good thing. Touya didn't want him involved when he cut ties with the league. Touya fought to catch his breath when he was hit with the images of Shigaraki holding Keigo's neck. No, it was better this way. Touya has already involved Keigo too much in his personal issues. Now that he was stopped, Touya caught a strange sound that was ahead of him he hadn't been able to hear above his footsteps. He's just about to turn back and find another path to continue his one man pity parade, but something stops him. Something wasn't right. He had initially thought it to be another group but he could tell now that it was a single person, mumbling non-stop. One voice in a constant soft stream of words Touya couldn't make out. It was just loud enough to hear, and closer than he had originally thought. It shouldn't matter, mental instability was common enough in those who found their way into the underground. Still, Touya couldn't shake it and instead of walking away, he found himself drawn to the noise. His ears were buzzing and something in the back of his mind was telling him he needed to find this person. It was important. The closer he got the more Touya's mind toyed with him. It was convinced he knew that voice and he knew those mumbles. It couldn't be true though, it made no sense. Touya needed to see him, needed to prove that he was just being stupidly obsessive. When Touya rounded the corner and finally laid eyes on the person sitting on the ground curled around themselves tightly, there was no mistaking it. Touya's feelings finally had enough and he felt anger so hot his hands caught fire. "You f@ck@ng Dumbass!" Touya shouted, his quirk flared around him as he marched over to where Keigo was sitting, "What the f@ck are you doing down here? Why are you on the ground? Why would you follow me when you should be home!?"The way Keigo was lit up by the flickering blue light made Touya feel nauseous, but he pushed past that because Keigo's complete lack of reaction set all of Touya's alarm bells off. Keigo hadn't flinched at the fire or the shouting, he never even stopped mumbling. "Oi! Birdbrain! Pay the f@ck attention when I-" Touya's voice cut off when he had grabbed Keigo's hair. His intention was to force Keigo to look at him but Touya hadn't expected his hair to be stiff and covered with frost.Touya's anger quickly morphed into worry. "What the f@ck? Keigo-" Touya hisses when he grabbed Keigo's cheeks, they were cold, ice-cold, and now that Touya was paying attention he noticed Keigo's skin was sickly, his eyes were glazed, and the entire time Keigo never stopped mumbling things Touya couldn't understand. Touya's worry jumped to panic. "Keigo!" Touya said loudly getting in his face trying to get his attention, anything, any sign at all that he was aware Touya was there. That's when he noticed Keigo's clothes were in the same state as his hair, wet and quickly freezing over. "What? What happened? You fell in?" He asked softly, and he only received the same dead stare, the mumbling was getting softer.  Touya cursed. Keigo's hands were turning a bad color and Touya desperately tried to warm them up, but everywhere Touya touched was freezing and he didn't have enough hands to warm everything up at once. Touya wasn't sure if he should focus on Keigo's ears or his cheeks or his hands. His wings? Touya was frantically trying to get to every part and it wasn't enough, every time he switched to warming something else the part he left got cold again.Long dormant rescue training was finally kicking back into gear and Touya realized he needed to get Keigo out of the clothes he was in. Quickly Touya grabbed at Keigo's jacket and worked him out of it. This turned out to be an extremely difficult task. Kego seemed to have no idea where he was or what was happening to him. He wasn't actively fighting Touya, but he wasn't doing anything to assist the process either. Touya, finally, got the clothes off. After checking Keigo's damaged wing stumps to brush off bits of ice that was forming and to put some warmth into them to try to mitigate any more damage to them, Touya pulled off his own hoodie and put it on Keigo. He was grateful that he had gotten a larger size when the hoodie managed to cover Keigo's smaller form to about mid-thigh. After only a moment of hesitation, Touya had Keigo in his socks and boots too. Touya had even debated giving up his pants but decided that would take too much time. Trying to get his skinny pants over Keigo's thicker legs without any help would be a nightmare. Touya focused back on trying to warm up Keigo's fingers, only slightly less panicked as they slowly started to regain a more natural color. The fingers were probably the most important things to protect other than his ears. Touya looked up with the intention of checking Keigo's ears when he noticed Keigo had stopped mumbling. His head was lulled and his eyes, his eyes were just... empty. He looked... He looked... Touya made a strangled noise as he dropped Keigo's hand to grab his face instead. He pulled Keigo close to him and Touya wished desperately for his own heart to stop pounding so loud as he held Keigo's face close to his own.It was faint but Touya could feel tiny breaths against his cheek and a weak pulse under his fingers. This was bad, Keigo needed more. Touya wasn't going to be able to do enough on his own like this but he also wasn't sure if Keigo could last long enough for Touya to figure out where the hell they were and get them somewhere safe on the surface. Touya's frantic brain stopped on the group he had passed a while back. He wouldn't need much, a blanket and possibly food would go a long way. It would be risky. The underground wasn't fond of heroes or villains but Touya had money and he could offer a fire. Those were some powerful bargaining chips down here. Touya bit his lip and weighed up his choices. Touya quickly bundled up Keigo's stuff in the freezing jacket and tied it around his waist ignoring the way the chill crawled up his back. He scooped up Keigo in his arms and tried to push as much heat to the surface of his skin without allowing it to get too hot and he held Keigo close. "Hold on, Dove," Touya said only pausing long enough to make sure Keigo was still breathing before making his way back in the direction he came from. Hopefully, this could be handled peacefully, but Touya was ready to do anything to save his bird.'
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