Rewrite this to be overy-hilarious and rude sarcastic comedy. And characters often question logic, inconsistencies and errors and what should've happened and stuff making no sense in their scenes. All in same transcript style.

Michael Angelis: Rosie's Funfair Special. Rosie is a lively little tank engine. She's very quick. She also likes to be very busy. Any job is a good job for Rosie. One day, Rosie and Emily were at Knapford Station. The Fat Controller had some important news.
Sir Topham Hatt: The funfair train is waiting at Brendham docks.
Michael Angelis: Boomed The Fat Controller. Rosie was excited. She hoped The Fat Controller would ask her to pull the carnival special.
Sir Topham Hatt: Emily, you must pull the funfair special.
Michael Angelis: The Fat Controller Added. Rosie was disappointed.
Sir Topham Hatt: Rosie, you must be Emily's back engine.
Michael Angelis: He Told Her. Rosie didn't want to be the back engine. She wanted to pull the funfair special on her own.
Emily: I have a lot to do today.
Michael Angelis: Huffed Emily.
Emily: After we pull the funfair special, I have to collect the milk from High Farm.
Michael Angelis: Rosie puffed sadly along. She wished she could pull a special on her own. Then Rosie had an idea.
Rosie: If I arrive at the docks before Emily.
Michael Angelis: She Thought to herself.
Rosie: i could take the funfair special. Then Emily could puff straight to hill farm. That would really help Emily.
Michael Angelis: So Rosie raced off as fast as her pistons would pump. Rosie puffed alongside the funfair special.
Rosie: This is a very long train.
Michael Angelis: She Said to herself. Rosie couldn't see that Emily was already coupled up and waiting for Rosie. Rosie quickly coupled up to the funfair special.
Rosie: Emily will be pleased.
Michael Angelis: She thought.
Rosie: I will be careful on the way.
Michael Angelis: But Rosie was wrong. She didn't know that Emily was on the other end of the train. Then there was trouble. Rosie huffed and puffed. She heaved and hauled. The couplings groaned and strained, until one of them snapped!
Rosie: Hooray!
Michael Angelis: She Cried.
Rosie: I'm pulling the funfair special.
Michael Angelis: But Rosie had left half of it behind with Emily. Rosie puffed proudly along. The children were very excited to see Rosie pulling the funfair special. That made Rosie happy. Then there was trouble. Another coupling snapped! Up ahead, Bertie was carrying children to the funfair. Rosie chuffed by. Bertie started to toot his horn.
Rosie: Wow!
Michael Angelis: Rosie Thought excitedly.
Rosie: He's tooting at my funfair special.
Bertie: Uh oh.
Michael Angelis: But Bertie was tooting because the coconut truck was rolling towards the level crossing! It smashed against the gate. Coconuts rolled everywhere! The level crossing was blocked. But Rosie didn't know. She puffed happily on. Then another coupling snapped. Rosie passed Stepney in a siding. Stepney was waiting to puff onto the main line. The points changed. Stepney blew his whistle loudly.
Rosie: How Wonderful!
Michael Angelis: Thought Rosie proudly.
Rosie: He's whistling at my funfair special.
Stepney: Oh, my.
Michael Brandon: Stepney said. But He was whistling because the freight car of sugar was now rolling towards him. Stepney was covered in pink sugar from funnel to footplate. But Rosie didn't know. She puffed proudly on. Rosie steamed up Gordon's Hill. Then another coupling snapped. She heard an engine's whistle.
Rosie: They're whistling at my funfair special too.
Michael Angelis: Rosie thought happily.
Rosie: I’m sure they like me!
Michael Angelis: But it was Emily with the rest of the funfair trucks. Rosie's flatbed was now rolling back towards Emily. It bashed into Emily. Seats from the big wheel clattered and clanged all over the tracks. Emily was stuck. Rosie chuffed into Maithwaite Station. Nobody waved or whistled. The Fat Controller was cross.
Sir Topham Hatt: I told you to be Emily's back engine.
Michael Angelis: He said sternly.
Rosie: But I brought the funfair special all on my own, sir. I wanted to help Emily.
Michael Angelis: Rosie said sadly.
Sir Topham Hatt: You haven't helped anyone. You have caused confusion and delay!
Michael Angelis: He Added,
Sir Topham Hatt: You've left half the train! Now there will be no funfair for the children.
Michael Angelis: Rosie felt terrible. She had wanted everyone to be proud of her, and now they were cross.
Rosie: Please, sir.
Michael Angelis: She Said.
Rosie: I know just what to do. I'm a very quick engine. I can collect all the trucks. Then I will be Emily's back engine, and we will deliver the funfair special in time.
Michael Angelis: She Added. So Rosie whooshed off as fast as her wheels would whir. First Rosie collected Rocky. Then she pulled him as quickly as she could to Emily. Emily's tracks were still blocked.
Rosie: I am so sorry, Emily.
Michael Angelis: Rosie Tooted.
Rosie: I only wanted to help you. Rocky will clear the line. I will collect the other trucks. Then we can deliver the carnival special together.
Emily: Thank you, Rosie!
Michael Angelis: Rosie left Rocky, and she raced away to collect the first truck. She picked up the coconut truck. Then Rosie collected a new truck of sugar, and she raced back to Emily. Rosie had been very quick. Rocky had just loaded the seats back on the flatbed.
Michael Angelis: She huffed to herself.
Rosie: I'm ready to be your back engine now.
Michael Angelis: Rosie tooted. And together they set off up Gordon's Hill. Rosie and Emily arrived at Maithwaite. All the children waved at the two engines.
Rosie: We have delivered the funfair special in time.
Michael Angelis: Said Rosie. That evening, Rosie and Emily watched the children at the funfair. The children were having a wonderful time.
Rosie: I hope we can work together on another special.
Michael Angelis: Whistled Rosie.
Emily: The sooner, the better.
Michael Angelis: Added Emily.
Rosie: Working with you is the best of all.
Michael Angelis: Rosie Said. Rosie couldn't have felt happier.