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Assistant: Title: Accidentally in Love
        Author: WritingIsMyCoffee WritingIsMyCoffee 
        Chapter: 1/17 
        Summary: When Saiki Kusuo decided to introduce himself to Satou Hiroshi, he had done so with the hope of acquiring a perfectly normal friendship.However, his ability of foresight fails to warn him of one crucial thing. That Satou would not only become his friend, but also fall madly in love with him.Because nothing in Saiki Kusuo's life can ever just be normal. Now in podfic form!!
        Contents: Chapter 1: Saiki Kusuo, Eradicator of Injustice
    

    


  

  
  
    
    Kusuo starts his day by ending homophobia.Well, he doesn’t completely eradicate it, but he does dampen it severely. Tucked into a bathroom stall, he takes out an antenna and cranks up the love and acceptance in the world (and quadruples the guilt of homophobes). Then he pops his antenna back in, washes his hands, and returns to class.As much as Kusuo enjoys the idea of being society’s Eradicator of Injustice, the fact is he’s not always going to be around to fix the world’s problems. He has to ensure it can keep spinning on its own once he’s gone, and so he leaves ten percent of the work for everyone else. His efforts have certainly gotten the ball rolling towards a better tomorrow, and that’s all that matters.Already, the change is evident. The hormonal thoughts that plague his mind are suddenly less based in heteronormity. Boys who never would have dared acknowledge their male classmate’s  qualities  are now less opposed to the idea. Girls who had been at each other’s throats over spats of vanity find that envy turning more into admiration.No, Kusuo didn’t make everyone gay. He made them get over themselves and admit more easily when they see something they like. Honestly, it’s a nuisance for him. He’s never felt any kind of attraction to anyone, and he can live a happy life without doing a quarter of the things these filthy minds are conjuring.But he didn’t do this for himself. He did this for Kaidou, who’s thoughts have been so loud this past week it's given Kusuo a headache. So maybe he did do this partially for himself, but it’s far more important Kaidou figure out his feelings for Kuboyasu before he breaks both their brains. Plus, the amount of bargaining the guy had been doing to convince himself he’s straight was pretty sad.Kusuo focuses on Kaidou’s thoughts, his gaze centered on the wrapped hands he’s wringing together.
   I mean...there’s nothing wrong with it. I might be...but I like girls. But I can like both, right? 
Great. Kusuo forgot to get rid of bi and pan erasure. Another trip to the bathroom-
   Does that even matter? What am I thinking? Of course it doesn’t! When why am I so...am I just scared? Aren wouldn’t be scared. He’s crazy strong and so sure of himself. If anyone could take on Dark Reunion with me, it’d be him! 
Kuboyasu, as it turns out, is just as scared as Kaidou. Only Kusuo knows this, of course. Just tell him you coward! He screams internally.  You’re a man, so act like one! It never mattered to you who you like, and the worst Kaido can do is say no! But...I really don’t want him to. I want this to work. But what if I just make things awkward? I scare enough people as it is. I don’t wanna send him running too… The two of them are still hopeless. Kusuo believes in them though, and not just because he can match them together in the blink of an eye. It’s obvious to anyone with eyes what the two already have going on between them. Well, anyone but Nendo.When the bell dismisses them at the end of the day, Kuboyasu struts right up to Kaidou’s desk. Kusuo takes his leave and trusts them to handle the rest. “Hey buddy!”There are unintended consequences to Kusuo’s actions. Some good, and some bad. It’s to be expected.Nendo seems unaffected by the subtle shift in culture, but there’s not much changing him to begin with. He is a certified knucklehead, and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, someone so genuinely oblivious to  everything  can be a relief. Especially because (despite his appearance) Nendo is a good guy. Not that Kusuo will ever admit it out loud. He hardly admits anything out loud anyway.He ends up walking out of school with Nendo, who goes on about everything and nothing at all. Most of Nendo’s words are pointless, but he lays them out before Kusuo without any need of interpretation. It is much easier to digest than the panicked thoughts of his classmates, all of whom have a sudden motivation to do some soul searching.One consequence Kusuo takes notice of right away is the absence of Teruhashi. Like clockwork, she is normally waiting to ambush him near the schoolgates. Today, she is nowhere to be seen. Kusuo halts for a moment and uses his clairvoyance, just out of curiosity. She is chatting with Rifuta at the shoe lockers, mind spiraling in a million directions. An interesting outcome, and a huge relief for Kusuo. Seems he has finally been free of her “admiration” for him.In general, the world feels lighter, as if it just let out a deep sigh. Not everyone is immediately happier by comparison to this morning, but they are more aware. That awareness is scary, and rightfully so. There is plenty of time for joy, and it can come later.“-Anyway, I gotta grab groceries for my mom. Catch ya later, buddy!”Nendo ditches him halfway home, and Kusuo hadn’t even noticed they had walked so far. Checking his results evidently took more time than he thought. Besides the occasional wandering thought, it’s relatively quiet for once. He reckons the general levels of stress in the world have also plummeted.There is one voice in his head that is growing louder. Someone walking his way, or in his general direction. I’ll need to tidy up when I get home. I hope someone remembered to take the trash out this morning. Maybe I should help prep for dinner too .Completely normal thoughts to have at the end of the day. The voice is soothing, a warmth filling Kusuo’s chest. Everything is so much calmer now. Like for the first time in a long time, everyone can untangle the thoughts in their own head.Kusuo sees Satou coming, of course, but it’s still a pleasant surprise. All things considered, it’s been a fairly good day for him. Why not end it on a high note?Satou spots Kusuo as their paths intersect, a friendly smile on his face as a normal form of greeting. They’ve been aware of each other’s existence for a while (one more so than the other). They can’t really be referred to as strangers anymore.Kusuo finds himself smiling back. He basks in the normality, everything going exactly as it should with no deviations from the norm. It occurs to him the opportunity to make Satou’s acquaintance is now, with the world running smoothly for once.They are about to cross paths, a mere meter between them. Satou’s eyes widen, coming to the same conclusion that a conversation needs to be shared between them. It is a normal development in their relationship.That is when one of Kusuo’s unintended consequences comes to bite him in the ass.
   Oh. Saiki-kun’s kinda pretty, isn’t he? 
What.“Hello! You’re Saiki Kusuo, right?”Hold on.  What .Yes he is, but Kusuo can’t possibly form a response after  that . What’s happening here? Is the universe so against him that not one thing in his life can be normal? What kind of omnipotent being did he p@ss off this badly?No, what makes this worse is that it was all Kusuo’s doing. He ensured the happiness of his friends by sabotaging his own.
   Oh no. I must have gotten his name wrong. But I was so sure it was him. This is embarrassing. 
A normal, fretful response. Kusuo hastily clears his throat, forcing himself to use it for once.“Sorry. You caught me in a daze. Yes, that’s me. And you’re Hiroshi Satou, right?”Satou’s smile grows. “Yeah! I’m surprised you’ve heard of me. I don’t do much to stand out, or really interact with people outside my class.”
   He knows me! But that must mean he knows me from somewhere. Hopefully I made a good first impression. 
Kusuo fights the urge to wince. “I’ve seen you playing baseball. You’re good.” Well, he’s average, but that won’t be as much of a compliment to Satou as it would be for him.He also doesn’t mention his connection to Toritsuka, for the safety of his reputation. He thinks I’m good?  “Oh! Thanks. That’s awfully nice of you to say. Sometimes I just feel like dead weight, so that really means a lot to me.”A normal amount of self-deprecation for a team player, though it still makes Kusuo’s blood boil. An average player can always be depended on to get the job done without any risk of throwing the game. They are the backbone of any sports team.Since when did he start sounding so much like Hairo?Kusuo doesn’t say any of this to Satou, of course. “Don’t mention it. Heading home?”“Yeah. I’ve got chores to do. What about you? What do you normally do after school?”Get dragged in a million different directions. “Pretty much the same as you.”Satou laughs. “We must be pretty boring, huh?”
   OH NO! I just called him boring! What’s wrong with me?! 
His panic is unnecessary because Kusuo is laughing with him. “You’ve got that right.” Satou will never know it, but it’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to him. That warmth in Kusuo’s chest spreads to his toes.
   His laugh is really cute. 
Kusuo is doused in ice water. Their conversation had been so ordinary he forgot about the dangers lurking in Satou’s thoughts. If they keep their current course, he knows Satou’s feelings will deepen. The best course of action is for Kusuo to bid Satou farewell and never speak to him again. If pressed, he could go as far as to wipe the boy’s memory. I shouldn’t go into this expecting much. It would be nice just to have another friend. Saiki seems so cool, too. Maybe too cool to hang out with me .How is Kusuo supposed to walk away after that?“I have to get going,” he tells Satou.Satou visibly deflates. “Oh, I see. Sorry for keeping you!” It was too much to hope for .Kusuo musters the courage to continue. “But I don’t have any plans for Sunday. If you want, we could do something together.”Pure starlight sparkles in Satou’s eyes.  Really?! Ok!  “Ok! That works for me! Um, would you like my number?”A normal follow-up question when two people decide to make plans. Sharing numbers can be a purely platonic experience. There is no reason to assume things have to go much further than they already have. After all, Satou seems content with what little has been given to him. Kusuo just has to thread the thin line between disinterest and leading him on to keep Satou invested in him.They pull out their phones and exchange numbers. There is a clear blush on Satou’s face Kusuo tries desperately to ignore. Though he tries harder to ignore whatever heat is creeping up into his own cheeks. D@mn nerves. This is so exciting  .  I can’t wait!  “Great! Well, I’ll see you then. See you!”Just as soon as it started, it’s over. Satou gives Kusuo a little wave as he passes, and Kusuo returns it. He makes it one meter down the street. Two. Then he has to stop.
   What’s with me? I feel so confident all of a sudden. And Saiki-kun is so nice. I can’t believe I was so scared to talk to him! 
Kusuo watches his strength and leans against the nearby wall. He tries to smother Satou’s thoughts until he’s too far out of range to hear anymore. But it’s too late. It was always too late. A normal relationship with Satou was destined to be unobtainable.At some point, Hiroshi Satou had fallen in love with Saiki Kusuo. And now, Kusuo has made it much, much worse.'
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