Write really overly-funny super hilarious comedy 17+ short Scooby-Doo cartoon parody transcript that always starts with the villain moment first, then the gang hearing about it once they reach the area, and then the rest based on my prompt: (but make it more funnier adult comedy where the gang constantly make fun of and question physics that ain’t possible or don’t make any sense and why, Fred will always mistake a character for a famous person because of their surname being literally the same as a real life celebrity, forcing the character to correct them angrily,  they always know that a place they are going to doesn't sound like it exists, they also know something in a place they go to shouldn't even be there as it makes no sense, they question names of things or people and why, and even question the motives and why (Plus they constantly do  pop culture references and jokes, and mentions of famous people, games, songs, and shows occasionally, AND they'd make fun of the plot in the prompt: 

A newspaper truck pulls up to Shaggy's house during dawn, and leaves a pack of newspapers. Shaggy has a paper route to deliver everyday, so he has to get up early. But, sometimes he oversleeps, and whenever he does, he gets woken up by his personal alarm clock, A Pup Named Scooby-Doo. After Scooby wakes Shaggy up, he asks Scooby to load the papers on his bike. While doing so, a green ghost shows up, and takes the bike, while Scooby runs back in Shaggy's room.

Shaggy calls an emergency meeting of the Scooby-Doo Detective Agency. Shaggy laments over the loss of his bike, while Scooby does an impersonation of the ghost he saw. Daphne doesn't believe in ghosts, while Freddie says that Shaggy's bike was stolen by the neighborhood bully, Red Herring.

They followed Red to his secret hideout, which was in Weirdo Woods. They encountered a swamp monster, which was really Red pulling a mean prank. Freddie accuses him of stealing Shaggy's bike, which the bully denies. Scooby and Velma find a blue bike in the bushes, which Freddie believes it to be the stolen bike. Shaggy doubts it saying his bike is red. Freddie still won't believe it, and uses a sand blaster to remove the paint. But, he was proven wrong, and gets run over by Red.

While tending to Freddie, Velma took a closer look at the tire tracks on Freddie's body, and gets an idea. They found tire tracks from Shaggy's bike, and Scooby can follow them to the bike.

It didn't take long for Scooby to finally catch the bikes trail, and take off bringing Shaggy with him, and the gang following. Scooby lead them to the Daily Babbler newspaper office, where they met Shaggy's boss Mr. Conrad. He denies to know anything about the missing bike, while Scooby finds green dry ink, and after a few sniffs, he began sneezing all over the office, until he got caught in the newspaper machine. After Mr. Conrad throws them out, Scooby catches the bikes scent again, and takes off like before.

He lead them to the Furgeson's estate, which is the most mosted place in town. Scooby's sure that the bikes inside, but won't go in. Daphne, however, changes his mind with a Scooby Snack. The gang splits-up to look around outside. Velma, Shaggy and Scooby looked in the backyard, and they ran into the same ghost who stole Shaggy's bike.

After they escaped, they met up with the others, and told them what happened, which Daphne still doesn't believe. Then they met a woman, who introduces herself as Shirley Mcloon, who claims to be the world famous Medium, a person who can see into the future. She's hear because she claims that there are spirits in the area. After she leaves, she dropped a kind of camera. Freddie believes that Mcloon is really an agent from Mars sent to steal bikes in their plan to rule the world. Shaggy, however, reminds him to focus on finding Shaggy's bike. Scooby found Shaggy's bike bender, and footprints that leads inside the house.

Upon entering, the gang fell through a hole in the floor, and landed on piles of money. Shaggy and Scooby realizes that they could buy many new bikes. Velma does some analyzing, and finds that all the bills have the exact same cereal number. While looking for more money, Shaggy and Scooby run into the ghost, who corners them. But they escaped when Velma finds a secret passageway. They found themselves in a dungeon, where they find a printing press, and Shaggy's bike. Velma points out that the bike chain is missing, and sees another chain on the printing press. The ghost then shows up again, and chases them all over the basement until it corners Freddie, Daphne and Shaggy. Meanwhile, Velma and Scooby find more dry ink, which makes Scooby sneeze uncontrollably. He sneezes into the ghost, knocking it into the printing press and gets trapped when Velma turned it on. Freddie reveals his crazy theory on Shirley and the martians then Daphne opens a door revealing Shirley. She explains that the ghost locked her up, and confesses that she isn't a Medium or a Martian. She is really an undercover agent from the Treasury Department, who's been trying to bust the ghost for making counterfeit money. Velma explains that the money they found was fake, much to Freddie, Shaggy and Scooby's disappointment. She goes on saying that every bill has the same cereal number, and it was printed on the printing press by the ghost. Freddie believes it to be Red Herring. But, Daphne dismisses it, saying he's got to be thinking green, with the green ghost, money and the ink that made Scooby sneeze. They learn that at the newspapers office, they thought Scooby was off the trail when he lead them there, but he wasn't. The thief went there to get more ink, than he came to the estate, and tried to scare the gang away, so he could continue making counterfeit money. The ghost is unmasked as Mr. Conrad, much to Scooby and Shaggy's surprise. Upon Shaggy asking why he stole Shaggy's bike, he says that he needed the bike chain. The press need a special chain, and the one from the bike fit perfectly. Upon Conrad being taking into custody by Shirley, Shaggy quits his job.

Later at the malt shop, the gang got into the papers, and Shaggy's looking for a new part-time job. Daphne says he better find one soon, cause he's gonna have to pay the gang for finding his bike. 10 cents a day, plus the price of the goodies they can eat. Upon Shaggy reading the total cost, which is $25, he realizes that someones been pigging out. Which is none other than Scooby-Doo.