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Assistant: Title: All the Young Dudes
        Author: MsKingBean89 MsKingBean89 
        Chapter: 103/188 
        Summary: LONG fic charting the marauders' time at Hogwarts (and beyond) from Remus' PoV - diversion from canon in that Remus's father died and he was raised in a children's home, and is a bit rough around the edges. Otherwise canon-compliant.1971 - 1995This IS a wolfstar fic, but incredibly slow burn. Literally years. Long build up but worth it I promise! PLEASE DO NOT COPY TO WATTPAD. SERIOUSLY, WHY?? Spotify playlist:https://open.spotify.com/user/htl2006/playlist/3z2NbLq2IVGG0NICBqsN2D?si=Liyl_JKJSx2RUqks3p50kg(Compiled by amazing reader, JustAnotherPerson) DISCLAIMER: I do not support JK Rowling's disgusting transphobic views.NOTE: I AM NO LONGER READING OR REPLYING TO COMMENTS ON THIS FIC
        Contents: Chapter 103: Sixth Year: Twelve Nights
    

    

        
          
          
            CW for drug use (weed), drinking, smoking and s@x (none graphic).
          
        

      
        
          
          (See the end of the chapter for  notes.)
          
      
  

  
  
    
    
  I sing with impertinence, shading impermanent chords with my words

  I borrowed your time, and I’m sorry I called, but the thought just occurred

  That we’re nobody's children at all.

  After all.
 Thursday 20th December 1976Sirius sang in the shower. Remus wasn’t sure if this was a new thing, or whether he had been doing it for ages and Remus simply hadn’t noticed – he’d typically been avoiding Sirius’s showering times. Anyway, as Remus dressed, he listened and smiled. He didn’t have a bad voice, really – nothing special, but in tune. He was obsessed with The Doors at the moment, and had perfected an imitation of Jim Morrison’s deep American holler,“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon now TOUCH ME BAAABE,” he bellowed over the hissing of the taps. It might have been endearing, even alluring, if he didn’t spoil it by singing along with the trumpets, too, “BA-DAH Ba-daah…!”He exited the bathroom in a fog of steam, his skin flushed, his shirt damp from his hair. “What?” he cocked an eyebrow at Remus, “No applause?”Remus rolled his eyes, opening the dorm room door,“Hurry up, I’m starving…”It felt weird to leave the isolation of Gryffindor tower, where they had already made themselves at home, and to enter the rest of the castle, where everything was the same. They were early to breakfast, and the two Ravenclaws, a girl and a boy, sat closer to them this time.“Isn’t it ridiculous that they serve this much food when there are only five students?” The girl, who had large cat-eye glasses and a mass of freckles, remarked, “It seems so wasteful…”The plates in front of them had filled with fried eggs, bacon, sausages, black pudding, baked beans, fried tomatoes and toast – not to mention cereal, porridge and fruit juices.“Nah,” Sirius replied, watching Remus pile up his plate, “You’ve clearly never seen Moony here eat.”“Shut up.” Remus replied, his mouth already full.Still, the Ravenclaws watched, fascinated, until Remus was too embarrassed to eat any more. Fortunately, at that moment a distraction arrived in the form of the morning post owls. One landed in front of Remus. Three in front of Sirius.“You’re popular.” The Ravenclaw boy leaned over. He was skinny and smallish, with a beaky nose.“Don’t encourage him.” Remus said. His own package was soft, and wrapped in lavender coloured paper. It was from Lily, he had no doubt. Sirius had five or six brightly coloured envelopes – none red, Remus noted with relief. No howlers from Walpurga this year.“We’re going ice skating before lunch,” the Ravenclaw girl smiled, brightly, “The lake’s frozen over. Want to come?”“Sounds good,” Sirius nodded, tossing his unopened post aside. Remus collected it up before they left the breakfast table, and took it up to the room with them.“Are these all Christmas cards?!” He asked, flicking through.“Oh, yeah, I think so.” Sirius shrugged, opening his wardrobe and rummaging through the bottom, pulling out drawers and old shoes he didn’t wear any more.“Who are they from?”“Whoever.”Remus frowned, then caught sight of something on Sirius’s bedside table. Another pile of unopened cards. He started opening them. Sirius clearly wasn’t interested.
  ‘Dear Sirius, have a wonderful Christmas, lots of kisses, Imelda.’
Hm.
  ‘To the boy who holds my heart, merry Christmas and all my love, S.’
…
  ‘Darling Sirius, please meet me in Hogsmeade under the mistletoe for a kiss… and maybe more? Emmeline.’

  ‘My raven haired prince, I cannot rest until I am in your arms…’
“Sirius.”“What?” Came his muffled response. He was half buried in the back of his wardrobe now, on his hands and knees.“These are all from girls…”“Aha!” He finally reappeared, leaning back on his ankles, holding a pair of ice skates aloft, “I knew I brought a pair during first year.”“Are you telling me your feet haven’t grown since you were eleven?”“They have a growing charm on them,” Sirius explained, dusting them off, “They get bigger to fit me. Only the best for the Blacks!”“Clever. These cards, though…”“Oh, those? What’d you open them for? You want to be careful. One of them squirted perfume at me. Perfume.” He pulled a face.“Are these all girls you’ve…?”“Really, Moony, I’m flattered. As legendary as I’m sure my stamina is, no. They’re just girls. They send me nonsense all the time.”“All the time?”“Oh c’mon, what are you, jealous?” Sirius ruffled Remus’s hair, “They’re just cards.”“I suppose…”“Now, let’s get you some skates…”“I don’t want any, I’ll break my neck.”“You’ll be fine, I’ll show you how to do it.”Remus picked up the pile again and flicked through it.“There must be twenty here, altogether…”“Look, Remus, why don’t we find you a girlfriend, then you won’t be so interested in my love life.”“What?!” Remus stared at Sirius. He was being quite genuine, a look of mild concern on his face. Remus’s heart sank. Really?“Yeah, I reckon that freckly Ravenclaw likes you. Or Marlene! What about Marlene? She’s pretty, nice. Likes you.”“She offered to snog me once,” Remus said, but shook his head, “It was a joke though – Marlene’s not interested in me. I don’t need a girlfriend.”“Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it,” Sirius winked, “Right, let’s see what we can do about these skates…”Ice-skating was marginally better than flying a broom, but not much. The lake was completely frozen, but Remus couldn’t shake the thought it might crack at any moment, and kept patting his pocket to check he could reach his wand. Sirius, obviously, was a natural. So was the Ravenclaw boy – Arnold – and the pair of them were soon racing each other up and down the length of the ice. Remus watched them, nervously, trying not to wobble.“Here,” the freckly girl – Tina – glided over to him, smiling kindly, “Put your hands on my shoulders if you want, and watch my feet,”He did so, gratefully, standing behind her as she dragged him steadily around in a small circle. He thought he was getting the hang of it.“I wonder if the squid’s ok…” he said, after they’d been a bit too quiet for a while.“Ugh, I never even thought about that. Does it hibernate, do you think?” Tina peered down at the ice with some interest, “I don’t think I’ve actually ever read anything about the squid.”“Me neither.” Remus replied, letting go of her shoulders and attempting to do a few meters unaided. “Professor Ferox liked it, though, I saw him feeding it once.”“Really?” She looked up at him, earnest and curious, “What did he feed it?”Remus shrugged,“No idea. Something nasty looking.”“I miss Ferox,” she sighed, “He really brought his lessons to life. I ended up dropping Care of Magical Creatures. Taking an extra course in Goblin Finance, instead.”“Oh, that sounds… er… interesting.”“It is,” she nodded, without a trace of irony, “I can lend you a book, if you like?”“Er… thanks…”After lunch, Remus and Sirius returned to the tower. Remus noticed that the pile of cards had disappeared, but he didn’t mention it. He lit the small bedroom fire and looked for a thicker jumper to wear,“Still cold?” Sirius asked, yawning.“Freezing.” Remus replied, pulling on a second pair of socks and raising his hands to the fire.“Should have moved about a bit more, gets the blood pumping. Still,” his tone changed; turned sly and teasing, “You had a nice chat with freckles?”“Tina. She’s interested in Goblin Finance.”“Excellent, you can marry rich.”Remus threw a slipper at him.“Oi!” Sirius barked with laughter, “I’m just trying to help you get out a bit, Moony, you ought to have other interests outside of that bl@@dy study group.”“I think, if anything, I would be doing more studying if I started going out with Tina. Which I’m not going to.” Remus blew into his cupped hands, then held them up to the fire again. The cold just seemed to seep in and settle there.He turned to look at Sirius, who was leaning against his headboard, staring. His lips curled into a wicked smile.“Bed’s warm…”* * *Friday 21st December 1976“Bl@@dy Regulus.”“It was two days ago, get over it.”“He’s such a pr@ck.”“I know. Left a bit!”“I can’t go any further left, there’s no room.”“Careful! Not there…”“Oops. Anyway, you should have let me hit him.”“You weren’t going to hit him, you were going to break a knuckle. You can’t punch.”“Yes I can!”“No, you can’t. Look, can you please concentrate? You keep missing.”“I’ve punched loads of people – oops, sorry…”“You’ve play-fought with James. Not the same thing.”“Oh, and you know how to punch, do you Moony?”“Yeah, I do, actually – aha, I win!”“It’s not fair. Can’t we get closer?”“No, that’s cheating.”“Oh fine, I forgot you were a stickler for rules, Prefect Lupin…”Remus folded his arms and let Sirius rant. He had won fair and square. They’d been playing this new game for about two hours now, and Remus was by far the best at it. He had never beaten Sirius at anything on the first go. It was an excellent feeling, and he was going to lord it over him.The game involved levitating various items they’d found in the common room – gobstones, chocolate frogs, quills, slippers – and firing them at speed through the ‘goals’, constructed by cutting various sized holes in Peter and James’s bedsheets, which they had strung up across the common room, dividing it. (Remus had had reservations about cutting up his friend’s sheets out of boredom. But Sirius had reasoned that they couldn’t very well cut holes in their own bedsheets, which were in use.)The best part was that they never had to tidy up. Once they had got everything through the goals, all they needed to do was walk through the sheets and start again on the other side. This they began to do now, crossing to the half of the room with the fireplace in it. It was cosy.“I wonder if this is what camping is like,” Remus said, thoughtfully.“Never been.” Sirius replied. “James thought it was funny our family never did it.”“I always wanted to.” Remus mused, beginning to levitate a crystal ball someone had carelessly let roll under the couch. “But I liked the idea of anywhere that wasn’t St. Edmund’s.”He frowned, slightly, having surprised himself. Why had he brought up St. Edmund's? He never talked about it in front of anyone at Hogwarts. Sirius didn’t seem fazed.“Yeah, I don’t blame you.” He said, then, glancing at the floating crystal ball, “You’re going to smash that.”“No I’m not, I'm aiming at the big settee.” Remus demonstrated, reeling back his wand and then flicking it, sending the crystal ball whizzing through the very smallest hole, landing with a quiet ‘thump’ on the other side. Remus smirked at Sirius, who, shook his head in disbelief.“It’s scary how good at this you are. Get you on a broom and you’d make a bl@@dy good chaser.”“No, thanks. Your go.”Sirius selected a gobstone. They were easier to levitate, but much harder to aim. He was terrible at understanding his own limits.“Did you play that muggle game, at St Edmund’s?” Sirius asked, casually, firing the gobstone too hard and missing the sheet altogether, sending it over the top.“Foul.” Remus said, “What muggle game?”“With all the running about and kicking. We saw them playing it when we… er, over the summer.”“Oh. Football. No, I never liked it. Had too many bruises already.”“Yeah, sorry, I didn’t think. Of course.” Sirius went a bit quiet after that. Remus knew him well enough to recognise that he was building up to something - a question, or a declaration. In the meantime, Remus started shooting quills like darts through each hole in the sheets. Finally, Sirius had gathered up whatever courage he needed, or prepared whichever words. “Is it really awful, living there?”Remus lowered his wand. He hadn’t ever complained about St Edmund’s - not in front of the marauders, or anyone, except for Grant, because Grant knew. He was about to say ‘Nah, it’s fine, really’, and shrug it off - but something stopped him. That was a lie, and there was no need to lie, just now.“It’s… not awful, but it is… noisy. You always have to watch your back, and no one really cares about you, much. They have to make sure you don’t die, or get arrested, or starve or whatever, but they don’t actually care.”He wasn’t in the mood to play any more. he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his cigarettes, lighting one with his wand tip, then tossing the box to Sirius. Sirius just held it, running his thumb over a loose bit of foil poking out from the join in the hinge.“I know how that feels,” he murmured. That was all he said, and it was enough, at the time. He quickly looked up and grinned, “Look what I can do!”He slid a cigarette out of the packer and placed it between his lips. A look of concentration flashed in his eyes for a moment, then he snapped his fingers, and the cigarette lit itself. His grin widened around the f@g, and he looked at Remus for praise.“Blimey,” Remus smiled, “Clever you.”* * *Saturday 22nd December 1976“What are you doing?”“What’s it look like?” Remus replied sternly, over the top of his textbook. He’d spent a peaceful few hours all by himself in bed, until Sirius had marched in smelling of snow and hot chocolate. He’d gone ice skating again, and Remus had begged off this time, looking for some quiet.“You’re not studying at Christmas?!” Sirius flopped down beside him on the bed, looking scandalised.“It’s not Christmas, it’s not even Christmas eve, it’s just a normal day. And I like reading, thank you very much.” Remus shifted away from him, rolling back and raising the book over his head to read.“How times have changed, eh Moony?” Sirius chortled, pulling off his socks and thick woollen jumper.It was one the Potters had bought him - this year Sirius’s clothes had been much more practical and comfortable than before - hardly anything specially tailored or finely cut now. He was still very obviously an aristocrat, born and bred - that was clear in his bearing, in every enunciated phrase he spoke. But he was happier, and that showed just as much. “I remember a boy who hated reading, and homework, and--”“Mm, and I remember someone who loved it, and came top in every subject…” Remus turned to him, finally. “What happened, didn’t like the competition?”“Pfft. I could run rings around the lot of you, if I wanted to.” This wasn’t a boast. Sirius had always been exceptional when it came to intuitive magic, and intensely diligent at research - when it suited him.“So why don’t you?”“Rather do other stuff,” he shrugged.The conversation had hit a dead end - that hardly ever happened with Sirius, unless you brought up his family. And this certainly had something to do with the Blacks - or at least Sirius thought it did. They wanted him to be in Slytherin, so he ended up in Gryffindor. They wanted him to be a good pureblood heir, so he befriended the Potters and ran away. They wanted him to get the best marks in his exams to prove that purebloods were better than anyone else - so he used his talents exclusively in ways that would annoy them.Remus returned to his book. Two lines down, Sirius gave a long sigh.“I’m bored.”“Go and play chess with the dynamic duo.” Remus replied, re-reading the second line.“Ugh, not that bored. Spent all morning with them. They’re ok, but merlin, everything’s so literal.”“Talk to James then.”“He’s got family visiting, or something. We’re talking after dinner. Anyway, not in the mood for talking.”Remus put down his book.“Oh?”“I don’t want to disturb you, though.” Sirius said, innocently, edging closer.“It can wait.”* * *Sunday 23rd December 1976“Show me how to throw a punch, then?”“Seriously?!” Remus sighed,“Deadly Sirius.” The other boy waggled his eyebrows. Remus groaned. “Oh, go on,” Sirius laughed at his face, “Show me! Teach me something, Professor Lupin.”They were lounging in their pyjamas, in the common room. Gryffindor tower was still being cleaned nightly by the house elves, but the funny little creatures had had the sense to leave up the ‘goal’ sheets, even if they’d tidied away all of the projectiles. The effect was that of a weird screen blocking out the windows on the other side, except for five pools of winter sunlight which streamed in through the cut out holes.“Ok, but you need something to hit that you won’t hurt yourself on.”They ended up finding an empty bit of wall and performing a softening charm on it. Sirius stood there, eagerly, awaiting instruction. “Make a fist.” Remus said. “No, ok, not like that… yeah, put your thumb there, unless you want it broken. Ok, now you want it at shoulder level… yeah, then… er…”Remus eventually resorted to demonstrating a few times on the wall, before physically repositioning Sirius’s arms in order to get the angle right, “Legs apart, don’t lean forward so much… ok, try it now…”It took about twenty minutes, but in the end Remus deemed Sirius at least competent enough to give a black eye.“Where’d you learn this?” Sirius panted, elated with his success.“St Edmund’s.”“Oh, yeah…” He ducked his head.“No, not like that,” Remus shook his head quickly, realising that Sirius was probably imagining him squaring off against a group of huge, tough muggles. “Some of the older boys taught me, a few summers ago. They were all a bit rough, liked a fight, but they were nice to me.”“Ah,” Sirius’s eyes gleamed with the light of understanding, “Was this the year you began your foray into organised crime?”“My what?! Oh, yeah, the f@gs. Yep, that summer.”“I’ll never forget you stomping onto the train in those boots.”“Ugh, don’t,” Remus covered his eyes with his hands. He cringed every time he remembered the way he had acted, “I was so obnoxious.”“I didn’t think so. Anyway, you had good reason.” Sirius rubbed his knuckles. They looked red from hitting the wall so many times, and Remus fought the urge to take Sirius’s hand in his own and kiss every finger. “Did you, er… ever learn anymore about Greyback?” Sirius asked, tentatively, snapping Remus out of his daze.“Yeah, bits and pieces.” He didn’t want to clam up, but he did anyway, sitting down again and picking up a newspaper, just to have something to hold.“Moony, I know you hate talking about him. It.”“No, it’s fine.” He wasn’t fooling anyone.“You don’t think… the attacks over the last few months...”Remus looked up at him, just to check his expression. He looked anxious, but not frightened. At least, not of Remus.“Yeah,” he confirmed with a curt nod, “It was him. Moody told me.”“Sh@t.”“Yeah. Sh@t.”“You don’t think he’d come after you?”“Don’t see why he would.” The barefaced lie should have shocked him, or at least caused a pang of guilt. But this was justified, Remus told himself, this was to protect his friends. He touched the scar on his side over the top of his pyjamas. The fabric was thin, and if he pressed lightly he could feel the dimples and puckers in his flesh made by those dreadful teeth. “It’s not like he can do anything else to me now. The worst’s already happened.”“Moony.”It wasn’t a question or a request, and they both let it hang in the air.  * * *Monday 24th December 1976“Do we have any weed?” Sirius asked as they walked back from breakfast on Christmas Eve. They’d dodged yet another chess tournament with the Ravenclaws. Remus didn’t actually mind the idea, but Sirius had decided they were intensely boring and not to be tolerated.“When you say ‘we’,” Remus replied, dryly, “Do you mean me?”“Fine, do you have any weed?”“No.”“But you know where some is.”“Maybe.”“That’s my little delinquent. C’mon then, show me.”Remus sighed,“We’d have to go outside, to the greenhouses - and probably smoke it there too, I don’t want the house elves getting a whiff. It’s too cold, I’d rather not.”“Come on, Moony. You haven’t been outside in ages!”“I know, that was deliberate.”“Come on.” Sirius was dragging him by the sleeve now, and because there wasn’t much else to do, and he did quite fancy a spliff, Remus allowed it. They summoned their cloaks and left the castle, hurrying through the thinning sheet of snow down to the greenhouses. Behind them, buried in a tin box, Remus unearthed the illicit buds, wrapped up in twists of brown paper. He would have to pay back whoever it belonged to - if they found out, of course.The greenhouses themselves had no snow on the roofs; being warm enough inside.“We could go in there?” Sirius suggested, shivering.“Are you mental? Spout comes down here twice a day to check on the mandrakes. It has to be somewhere else.”“The shack?”“F@ck that.” Remus growled, without thinking. Sirius looked at him, surprised, and he shook his head, apologetically, “I hate it there. Please, somewhere else?”“Ok, sorry… er… ooh, I know!” He grabbed Remus by the wrist this time, his ungloved hand still miraculously warm.Remus worked out where they were going before they got there - and it was actually sort of brilliant. They were just approaching the statue of the hump-backed, one-eyed witch, when the seventh year Slytherin student turned a corner at the other end of the hallway. They stopped still, probably looking extremely guilty.“What are you two doing?” He asked, tilting his head, weighing them up.“Just going for a stroll.” Sirius replied, haughtily, “It’s a free castle.”“Whatever.” The Slytherin rolled his eyes, bored. He kept walking past them, robes sweeping. Remus pulled out the map, as soon as he was out of sight, and watched the little dot with his name keep on towards the library. Perseus Flint.“Bleugh,” Sirius pulled a face when he saw it, “I think he’s a relative…”They entered the secret passage, cast an illuminating spell and rolled up their cloaks so that they could sit comfortably on the stone floor.“Should have brought the record player,” Sirius said, “We could get quite comfy here, dunno why I never thought of it before.”“You and your cave-dwelling fantasies,” Remus humoured him, laying out all of his paraphernalia. He liked rolling, it was a pleasant process. “We’re not spending the rest of Christmas in here.”They did spend the next few hours there, though, minds drifting, murmuring stupid jokes to each other or humming half-remembered songs. By lunchtime they were ravenous, and giggled all the way to the Great Hall. Sirius was red eyed, pale, with an inane grin, and Remus knew he wasn’t much better off. He was just thankful Dumbledore wasn’t there; he’d see through them in an instant.They were wrangled into a game of chess after lunch, once the table had been cleared, and Sirius actually became very competitive in his attempt to beat Tina, who must have been the reigning Ravenclaw champion. Remus was finding it difficult to concentrate, himself, and eventually lay his head down on the table and fell into a deep sleep.He was nudged awake about an hour later.“You’re snoring, Moony.” Sirius chuckled.“Are you all right?” Tina asked, her inquisitive face peering across the chess board. She had won, it seemed.“Hmm? Oh, yeah…” he tried to sit upright, feeling a twinge in his back as he did so. “Sorry, must not have slept enough last night.”“You do look quite pale,” she continued. Her eyes raked over him analytically, “Perhaps you ought to go to bed for a bit? Sirius said you were busy all morning on Herbology, so I’m not surprised if you’re tired.”Sirius bean to giggle, compulsively, and Remus elbowed him hard in the ribs.“Yeah, I will go for a lie down, cheers.”He went back to the tower slowly, at first in case Sirius decided to follow him, and then because his hip hurt from sleeping in a stupid position. His head was clearer, and he decided to take a hot bath, to see if that would help at all. He took his Arithmancy textbook into the bathroom with him, hoping it would stop him from falling asleep again.He’d only been in the water for ten minutes when Sirius’s voice broke into the dorm room,“Moony?”“I’m in the bath.” He called back. The door opened, Remus tutted, “Didn’t say you could come in…”“Nothing I haven’t seen.” Sirius replied, archly. Remus blinked - was Sirius actually commenting on the recent turn their relationship had taken, or was this just another off handed remark? Perhaps he talked to James in the bath. Remus wouldn’t be surprised. Sirius leaned casually against the sink, “James gave me the password to the prefect’s baths, if you’d rather go there?”“I’m fine here, thanks.”“Ok. I’ve had an idea.”“Does it involve smoking weed in a tunnel?”“Yes.”“Brilliant.”“Not just that, though - I fancy an outing.”“Do you?” Remus smirked, closing his eyes and leaning back. Here we go...“How does the Hog’s Head sound?”Remus opened his eyes.“It sounds completely mad.”“Excellent!” Sirius grinned, “We’ll go after dinner, then.”Remus made half-hearted attempts to change Sirius’s mind, but when a plan had been concocted, it was generally pretty much set in stone. Particularly if it involved breaking school rules.“I’m not allowed into Hogsmeade…”“Moony, it’s Christmas Eve.”So they went. After sharing a long joint in the tunnel (at the Honeyduke’s end, obviously - Remus didn’t fancy being stoned for the long walk through the passage), they crept up into the sweet shop (pocketing a few chocolate frogs on the way) and out into the dark, empty high street.The Three Broomsticks was the only place that looked at all welcoming - but Sirius reckoned Rosmerta might shop them to McGonagall if she saw them in there.“Which would be total bollocks,” he huffed, “I’m seventeen, I should be allowed to do what I like.”The Hog’s Head was not nearly as inviting as the Three Broomsticks, but it still had a kind of atmosphere. The clientele were private, huddled in groups talking amongst themselves, and the barman surly, but he served Sirius and Remus without question, and they were able to find a table and stools without too much of a problem. There was an odd smell hanging about the place - something Remus liked a lot, but couldn’t quite place. It stirred a strange sort of wanting inside him, which he tried to drown in whisky.They drank a lot, and quickly, caught up in each other’s overexcitement.“I haven’t had a drink since Halloween.” Remus said, daringly.“Ugh, I was so sick that night,” Sirius laughed, “I don’t even remember half of it.”“I do.” Remus bristled. Sirius caught his look and the smile fell from his face. His brows knit and he looked down at his half empty goblet,“Of course I remember that part, Remus.”He felt a bit guilty after that. A small part of him still wanted to punish Sirius for the hurt he’d caused, even if, on the whole, he wanted to forget it all and just be happy. Alcohol is fortunately the ideal solution for this particular problem. At least, Remus thought so. He smiled broadly,“First time I got p@ss@d,” he drained his glass, “Was that summer I got the boots and all that gear - I got so off my head I thought I was going to die.”“I got tipsy at a family banquet when I was thirteen,” Sirius mused, ordering two more cups with a snap of his fingers, “But not as drunk as I got for your birthday that year… still, it was all the same to Mother, and out came the wand…”He made a wide, slashing movement with his own wand hand, and imitated his mother’s sharp, precise voice, “A Black heir shows proper comportment at all times,” slash, slash.Remus winced, thinking about Sirius’s calves. Sirius glanced at him sideways, mid-slash, “Sorry,” he said, folding his arms as the whiskies arrived, “It’s not funny, I dunno why I act like it is.”“You’re out, now,” Remus said, seriously, “You don’t ever have to go back.”“Yeah,” Sirius slurred, slouching in his seat, “It’s all Reg’s mess now. Nasty little so and so - d’you know how many times I took the blame for him? How many times I stood between… he used to be a proper little crybaby, but Mother hates crying, she says it makes men sissies, it makes them - well, whatever, some bollocks, but anyway, Reg would cry, and I would do something worse to distract her, and then she’d do her thing,” slash, slash. His eyes were bright and his cheeks were pink, “Y’know if either of us had just learnt not to get upset, then maybe… but I s’pose Reg learnt, in the end, cold hearted f@ck@r.”He took a big gulp. “Sorry, I shouldn’t moan. ‘Specially not to you. You know all about my bl@@dy lack of self-control.”It took Remus a moment or two to realise that Sirius was talking about the Snape incident. He didn’t want to talk about that, the conversation was melancholy enough as it was, and he knew what happened when you let the drink get you down.“S’fine,” he mumbled, “Probably a good thing, anyway. I hardly ever cry, I think I lost the ability at some point. Maybe I’m like Reg.”“You are not like Reg.” Sirius said, vehemently, squeezing Remus’s knee. Remus smiled at him, dopily, and Sirius withdrew his hand quickly, looking around furtively in case the gesture had been noticed.“Can you smell that?” Remus asked, feeling very drunk now. He stretched like a cat. It was so familiar, so deep and fascinating – like prey, or… no, it was just out of reach.“Stale beer? BO?” Sirius suggested, making himself laugh.“No, it’s an animal or something…”“Sorry, mate,” he shrugged, “I could turn into a dog and have a sniff, but I think I’m too drunk to remember how to turn back…”They left the pub, shortly after that. The scent had infected Remus, unshakable and overwhelmingly desirable, he felt more than drunk - almost wolfish. He transferred this feeling to Sirius, and pushed him against the wall in the darkness of an alleyway, kissing him fiercely, pressing his hips against him. Eventually Sirius had to push him away, using more force than normal,“Hey,” he whispered, “Not here, someone’ll see... “They dragged each other back to Honeyduke’s, through the door and into the cellar - which Remus would have been more than happy with, but Sirius wouldn’t touch him again until they were inside the dark, dank tunnel. They hadn’t been together like this before after drinking - and neither of them had the presence of mind to light their wands, so it was pitch black, but Remus was hot with the whisky and Sirius was just as eager as him now they were alone, and it was the same as it had been, only better, more urgent and fluid and messy, and Remus felt a surge of courage, before pulling away and sinking to his knees, holding Sirius in place, and it was nerve-wracking, but god, so worth it to hear that surprised gasp,“What are you...? – oh!”* * *Christmas Day 1976As was to be expected, both boys awoke on Christmas Day with thumping hangovers.“Tell me there’s a cure, Moony,” Sirius wailed from his bed, “You’re the one taking healing lessons…”“You’re the one taking Potions,” Remus grumbled from under his pillow. “Pain is a potion thing, I do cuts and abrasions.”“Useless.”“Shut up.”But it was no good, he was awake now, and there was nothing either of them could do about it. He clambered out from his bedsheets, head thudding at twice the tempo as he hobbled across the room to the bathroom. “Cold shower,” he mumbled at Sirius’s bed, “Then breakfast. Fried eggs, trust me.”They couldn't face opening presents and left it, instead stumbling down to eat, without combing their hair or making much effort to look smart at all. Dumbledore was there, and smiled at them benevolently as they took their seats at the table,“Happy Christmas, one and all!” He boomed, cheerily, apparently oblivious to Sirius and Remus’s wincing.Breakfast did improve things, somewhat - at least it settled their stomachs, and they eagerly returned to the tower afterwards to open presents. Remus got the usual assortment of quills, chocolates, books and knitwear as usual, and was very pleased to receive them. Nothing from Matron this year - he supposed she’d decided to cut ties early, seeing as after his seventeenth birthday he would not be expected to return to St. Edmund’s. He pushed that thought down with a cigarette.James got in touch shortly after that, through the compact mirrors, and they both wished him a merry Christmas,“Are you two ok?” He frowned up through the glass, “You look a bit peaky.”“Hungover,” Sirius grunted.“Jealous.” James replied.“Weirdo.” Said Remus.Afterwards, he took a nap, still worn out from the night before, and woke up in time for lunch - which, in Remus’s opinion, was basically a perfect Christmas Day. * * *Boxing Day 1976“Why’s it called boxing day, anyway?”“Nobody knows,” Remus yawned over his porridge, “It’s one of the great mysteries of life.”“Must be a muggle thing. I’ll ask my muggle studies professor.”“You do muggle studies?” The Slytherin, Flint, was staring down the table at him.Sirius threw two fingers up at him, then turned his back, ignoring him. Remus kept eating, the brown sugar melting on his tongue. Their knees were bumping under the table and it was delightful.Suddenly, the owls arrived, screeching into the hall with an unusual urgency. There were more than usual, as well. Remus realised that Dumbledore and McGonagall were not at breakfast. Tina, sitting opposite, got her post first and opened it.“It’s from mum…” her eyes widened and she got up from the table at once, hurrying away out of the hall. Flint did the same, then Arnold.“What’s going on?” Remus asked, as Flitwick sighed heavily, shaking his head. He passed the two remaining boys a copy of The Daily Prophet. They leaned in together to read it.‘MUGGLES ATTACKED IN CHRISTMAS CRISIS’ blared the headline.“Last night, while thousands slept safely in their beds on Christmas night, over one hundred muggles all over Britain were attacked in their homes. The Auror’s office confirmed this morning that the attacks were magical in nature, and intended to cause harm.The attacks took place in a number of locations, apparently targeting families with ties to the wizarding world - those with magical relatives or a history of muggle-magical relations. Offences range from minor jinxes to - in some cases - the use of unforgivable curses. There are no suspects at present. The minister for Magic is expected to make a statement later today.”Professor McGonagall arrived while they were reading, with Flint, Tina and Arnold in toe. Tina looked as though she had been crying. Flint was scowling miserably.“You’ve all heard the news.” The professor said, her voice thinner than usual; strained and tired. “If your parents have requested that you return home, then we will make arrangements at once to ensure you arrive safely.”“Is there anything we can do, Professor?” Sirius stood up, frowning. Flint rolled his eyes.“No, Mr Black, thank you. Simply stay calm and carry on as normal.”“Please, Professor Flitwick,” Tina sobbed, “I need to go home now, it’s my auntie…” Arnold put his arm around her shoulder, and whispered something comforting.“C’mon, Moony,” Sirius murmured, “Let’s see if James knows anything…”“I don’t know anything!” James said, almost as soon as he opened the mirror to respond to their calling. “Dad’s gone to the ministry with Moody, they let me read the paper, but there’s nothing else. Everyone knows who did it, though - death eaters.”Sirius nodded, gravely.“Voldemort?” Remus asked, “Does he have that many followers? Over a hundred, the paper said, all over the country, in one night…”“Must be more than anyone thought.” James said.“Well,” Sirius sat up, his mouth a grim line, “My family alone would account for at least twenty.”“They’re not your family,” James said, fiercely. He and Sirius stared each other out for a while, and Remus shifted away, slightly, feeling intrusive. Sirius’s temper was rising, Remus didn’t need enhanced senses to work that out.“If Reg was one of then, I’ll…”“Black!” James hissed, “No one knows who any of them were. Calm down, ok? Moony, you there?”“Yeah,” Remus shuffled back into the mirror’s view. James looked at him,“Don’t let him be a tw@t about this, right?”“What do you want me to do?!” Remus asked, nonplussed. Sirius’s family crises were usually James’s job. Remus’s role was different.“Just distract him!”Remus personally didn’t think that that sounded like the best idea. It wouldn’t get rid of the problem - and James almost definitely wouldn’t approve of Remus’s distraction techniques. Sirius talked to James for a bit longer, and Remus left them to it. He thought longingly about the final joint, sitting in his bedside table upstairs. Probably not appropriate.* * *Thursday 27th December 1976Arnold, Tina and Flint went home on Boxing Day, so after that it was just the two of them (and the teachers, of course, but they seemed to be in a never-ending conference, McGonagall's face growing more and more weary every time Remus saw her).Sirius sulked. He didn’t want to go out, he didn’t want to stay in. He didn’t want to smoke, or drink, or eat, or play games. He just wanted to stew. Remus would have been quite content to let him, if only it didn’t affect the entire atmosphere of the castle so much.He tried James’s distraction idea.“Want to play that game?”“Nah, I’m rubbish at it.”“Yeah, but I’m not.”“You play it, then.” He hunched down into his chair, arms folded. Remus sighed,“Want to go out on your broom? I’ll go with you and everything.”“Don’t have my broom here.”“We can borrow them from the shed. Hooch won’t mind.”“Nah, don’t like using other people’s brooms.”“Snob.”No response.“Chess?”“Boring.”“Homework?”That was just met with a dark look.“Want a bl@w j@b?”“Bl@@dy hell, Moony!”“What?! I’m running out of options, jesus. Just trying to cheer you up.”“I don’t want to cheer up.”“Yes, that much is clear.” He fiddled with a loose thread on his sleeve, “Do you want to go to the Potters?”Sirius looked up,“What?”“I don’t mind,” Remus said, honestly. “If you need to see them. If you… need James.”For a moment, Remus wasn’t sure what Sirius was going to to. He seemed to consider the idea, and Remus wished he hadn’t suggested it. But he shook his head.“Nah.” He said, “What sort of mate would I be if I left you here by yourself?”That got Remus’s back up. He tugged at the thread on his sleeve, breaking it,“Well you’re not being much of a mate right now, to be honest. I know you’re in a mood, but--”“I’m not in a mood.” Sirius spat, angrily, “I’m p@ss@d off. Look, you don’t know what it’s like, having family out there doing merlin knows what - people I’m actually related to, Moony.”“Oh god, change the bl@@dy record, will you?” Remus groaned, getting up to prod the fire, sorry James, he thought, I’m not you. “Poor Sirius Black, the spoilt rich boy with the wicked family.”“Oi, watch it.”“Well I’m sorry, but we’ve had six years of this, now. No, I don’t know what it’s like, because I don’t have a family, let alone an evil one. You know what I’ve got? A pack of bl@@dy werewolves, waiting for me to come of age so I can finally go and join all the other monsters.”“Moony…”“I’ve got some brutal f@ck@ng mass murdering child killer out there waiting for me. And not much else, to be honest. I don’t have the Potters, or an Uncle - I don’t even have a flipping future. So, if you don’t mind, I’d rather not sit around here listening you whinge about how hard you’ve got it.”He’d only decided halfway through speaking that he was going to storm out, but he hoped it didn’t look that way. He hadn’t let himself get that angry in a very long time - and, as ever, it had been Sirius who’d brought it out. He went to the library, because there was nowhere else, and because Sirius would almost definitely look there first. It was weird, walking through the empty halls and staircases. He could hear the portraits whispering as he passed, and didn’t like it.When he got to the library, he realised that he didn’t have a next step planned. He’d left all of his homework back in the dorm, so he couldn’t check his notes. He could summon them, he supposed - but that somehow defeated the point of storming off.Remus just went to the nearest shelf and pulled out a random book, sitting in the most comfortable chair he could find with it. It was on potions. Just his luck. For the first time in a few years, Remus used Letiuncula Magna to read. It was easier, and his head was too much of a mess to concentrate very hard. Still, it calmed him down.“Remus.”He closed his eyes and breathed in, before looking up.“Sorry I shouted, Padfoot.”“Sorry I was whinging.” Sirius shrugged.“Well, it’s ok to be angry sometimes. It’s normal.” Remus smiled, setting the book down. He got up and walked over to the library entrance, where Sirius stood, hands in his pockets, like a contrite child. “I was a d@ckh@@d, though, I shouldn’t have said those things.”“Ah, they were true. I’m a spoilt rich brat.”“Yeah,” Remus grinned, ruffling his perfect hair, “I don’t mind, though.”“We can do one of those things you wanted to do, now. If you still want…?”“Which one? Chess?”“Oh yeah,” Sirius raised an eyebrow, “Definitely chess.”* * *Friday 28th December 1976“Do you want to talk about it?” Sirius asked, late in the afternoon. He had finally allowed Sirius to get on with his homework, and was playing a game of solitaire with a deck of cards he’d found. Remus had never seen Sirius occupied in such a quiet activity before, and kept sneaking glances.“Hm?” He looked up from his Herbology, pretending he’d been completely absorbed in petal identification.“Do you want to talk about it?” Sirius repeated, still looking at his cards, “The Greyback stuff?”“Oh, that.” Remus’s throat went dry. “No, I don’t. Thanks, though.”“If you’re sure…” Sirius said, lifting a card and placing it on another pile. “Just because you said that you didn’t think he was after you, but then yesterday you said…”“Yeah, I know.” Remus said, feeling his pulse speed up, “It just… I don’t want to think about it right now. Ok?”“Ok, then.” Sirius looked up and smiled.Remus smiled back, and felt such a surge of love for Sirius Black that it made him dizzy.* * *Saturday 29th December 1976“Foul!” Remus cheered, gleefully, as Peter’s trainers sailed over the top of the goal line.“B@lls.” Sirius sighed. “Knew that was a bit ambitious.”“We should leave this up,” Remus said, readjusting the hanging bedsheets, “Imagine playing this with more people.”“Evans would make us take it down.”“Only after she’d had a go, I bet.”“You like her, don’t you?”Remus gave him a sharp look,“Not this again…”“What?!” Sirius smirked, levitating an apple from the fruit bowl the elves had left out.“You’re obsessed with finding me a girlfriend.”“I’m not. I just don’t want you to miss out on any of that stuff.” Sirius got the apple through the largest hole and punched the air, “Yes!”“Five points.” Remus returned, dryly, “You’re still twenty down.” He cleared his throat, “And I’m not missing out on anything.”“I know you don’t think you are, Moony, but I’m just saying--”“Well, don’t.”“Don’t be angry with me.”“I’m not.” Remus fired an inkwell at the sheets so hard that he missed, and splattered the white fabric with a bright blue splodge.“You seem pretty angry.” Sirius lowered his own wand, turning to Remus. Remus didn’t look at him.“I don’t want a girlfriend, how many times?”“I know you say that, but… I can’t help but think there must be a reason behind it… I think I know why.” Sirius shifted, awkwardly, and Remus looked at him, sideways, his heart pounding in his chest. He should have expected this, eventually. “It’s because of the werewolf thing, isn’t it?” Sirius said.Remus opened his mouth, then closed it again. Really? Really?! He sat down, head in his hands, and tried not to laugh. Sirius mistook this for something else, and said, gently, “You’re worried about a girl finding out, right? But, I mean, Evans knows, and she’s fine about it, so I don’t see why you wouldn’t find someone else… and your scars aren’t as bad as you think they are.”“Oh really?” Remus snorted.“Yeah,” Sirius nodded, encouragingly, “They’re cool. And you… I mean, y’know, you’re quite good looking. You’re tall and you’re um... “Remus looked up at him, curiously. Sirius Black was blushing.Jesus Christ, Remus thought, what have we got ourselves into?* * *Sunday 30th December 1976“How far do you reckon Pete and Desdemona have gone?”“Ugh, why are you thinking about that?” Remus wrinkled his nose in the dark.“I dunno,” Sirius replied, “Can’t sleep.”Remus rolled onto his side, and peered across the bedroom, to where Sirius lay in his bed. He could clearly make out his pale outline, he was lying on his back, staring up at the canopy, arms behind his head.“Not tired?” Remus asked. They’d both been in his bed, only an hour before. He felt the absence keenly, but there was nothing to be done about it.“S’pose not. Keep thinking about tomorrow.”“Tomorrow?”“Last day of the year.”“Yep.” It would be their last day alone, too. Everyone was due back on the first of January, and the bubble they had lived in for the past eleven days would burst. “Making resolutions?” Remus asked, yawning.“Not really. Just the usual stuff.” He sounded sad. “Stuff I should stop doing.”“Well.” Remus thought quickly, “Why don’t you think about the stuff you want to do?”“Like what?”“Oh, I dunno,” Remus stifled another yawn, “Like how you’re always talking about going to London? Muggle London. Properly, I mean, not just a dodgy squat in Mile End.”“Oh yeah!” Sirius said, cheering up, “We should do that, in the summer. Can we go to Carnaby Street?”“Don’t see why not.”“I want to learn to play guitar.”“Of course you do…”“And go camping.”“Mmm.”“And see Bowie in concert.”Remus smiled, softly, listening to Sirius’s dreams as he drifted to sleep.* * *Monday 31st December 1976“Do you know any sewing spells?” Remus asked, thoughtfully, sipping a mug of tea from his favourite armchair and looking up at the bedsheets which would have to come down today.“Why would I know sewing spells?” Sirius asked, from the floor. He was sitting over a cauldron with a book beside him, trying to create his own fireworks to celebrate New Year’s Eve.“I was just thinking about the sheets…”“Pfft,” Sirius waved a hand, “They won’t even notice.”“Ought to fix that crystal ball we broke, too.”“Nah.”“And probably should look for those chess pieces that went- er - missing…” Two days ago they had accidently fired an entire set out of the window. They’d summoned most of the pieces back, but the queen and two knights were still in the bushes somewhere below.“Look, everyone knew it was just going to be the two of us here for Christmas,” Sirius replied, waving his wand carefully over the cauldron, “It was their responsibility to lock up anything they didn’t want to get shot out of the window.”“And Peter’s bed?”“It’s stopped making that weird noise, now.”“Yeah, but it still giggles when you sit on it.”“He’ll work out how to fix it, or get Desdemona to help him. You worry too much.”BANGThe contents of the cauldron exploded in Sirius’s face, knocking him backwards and filling the room with a plume of lime green smoke. Remus ran for the window, coughing, trying not to laugh at Sirius’s startled expression, face black with soot.“I told you we should just ask Flitwick.”The dust settled, and now the whole room was covered with a fine green film. Remus raised an eyebrow. Sirius smirked,“Leave it to the house elves? I’m having a shower.”He did go to Flitwick, in the end, and the tiny Charms professor was only too pleased to impart some advice on creating the perfect fireworks – without any messy potions or cauldrons. “He made me promise not to tell McGonagall that he taught me, though,” Sirius laughed, “He’s really gone up in my estimation, ol’ Flitters.”“Can’t believe you went without me. I’m best at Charms.” Remus muttered, as he climbed out of their bedroom window to sit on the ledge beside Sirius.“You were sleeping!” Sirius nudged him jovially.“Still.” Remus grumbled, folding his arms against the cold. Their legs dangled precariously over the edge, but he wasn’t as afraid of heights as he had once been. Thank James’s relentless broom training for that. He’d only taken a nap earlier to ensure he would be able to stay up until midnight - which was now only minutes away.It was very quiet, outside, and other than the occasional animal noise rising from the Forbidden Forest, or the soft hooting of the owls in the owlery they might have been completely alone in the world. They were content to sit in this silence, as the last moments of 1976 slipped away under a frozen winter sky. Remus felt a deep sense of satisfaction and contentment. It was bittersweet. He was looking forward to seeing James, Peter and the girls again. He was looking forward to the spring term. But still, as soon as the Hogwarts Express pulled into the station the next afternoon, everything he and Sirius had shared over the past twelve nights would have to be tidied away and locked up until it was safe to resurface.Sirius raised his pocket watch - one he had received for his seventeenth birthday from the Potters. He held it up so that Remus could read it too. Five seconds to go. Sirius smiled at him, and squeezed his knee.“Ready?” He lifted his wand.Remus grinned back, and nodded,“Ready.”
  
  

    
      
        
        
          The song at the beginning is 'After All' by David Bowie.'
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