Grade my essay based on these criteria:
1. Core Values (Information)
Objective: Clearly convey a diverse set of the author's core values to showcase depth and multidimensionality.
Questions to Ask:
Can you identify at least 4-5 of the author's core values?
Do these values encompass a variety of traits, avoiding repetition?
Examples of overused values: Hard work, determination, perseverance.
Examples of varied values: Autonomy, resourcefulness, healthy boundaries, diversity.
How do these values manifest in the author's experiences and actions?
Are the values presented in a way that is authentic and relatable?
Persuasion Techniques:
Use storytelling to illustrate values rather than stating them outright.
Apply specific and vivid details to bring experiences to life.
Highlight unique values that set the author apart from others.

2. Vulnerability
Objective: Establish an emotional connection by revealing genuine thoughts, feelings, and personal growth.
Questions to Ask:
Does the essay feel analytical or does it stem from a deeper, more vulnerable place?
Is the narrative driven by intellect or by heart and gut feelings?
After reading the essay, do you feel like you know the author on a more personal level?
Does the author share moments of challenge, failure, or uncertainty and reflect on them?
Persuasion Techniques:
Embrace authenticity by sharing honest reflections and emotions.
Utilize emotional storytelling to engage the reader's empathy.
Show personal transformation as a result of overcoming obstacles.

3. "So What" Moments (Important & Interesting Connections)
Objective: Provide insightful reflections that add depth and meaning to the narrative.
Questions to Ask:
Can you identify at least 3-5 moments of significant insight or "aha" moments?
Are these insights predictable or do they offer truly illuminating perspectives?
Do the connections enhance the overall message and themes of the essay?
How do these moments relate back to the author's core values and experiences?
Persuasion Techniques:
Use the "Problem-Agitate-Solve" framework to present challenges, delve into their impact, and resolve them with meaningful insights.
Incorporate metaphors and analogies to illustrate complex ideas simply.
Pose thought-provoking questions that invite the reader to engage more deeply.

4. Craft
Objective: Demonstrate meticulous attention to structure, language, and overall presentation.
Questions to Ask:
Do the ideas flow logically while maintaining interest and avoiding predictability?
Does the essay reflect careful revision and refinement over multiple drafts?
Is the writing concise and engaging throughout?
If not, identify where interest wanes or where content could be trimmed or expanded.
Are there memorable phrases or powerful language that enhance the narrative?
Persuasion Techniques:
Begin with a compelling hook to capture attention immediately.
Employ the AIDA model (Attention, Interest, Desire, Action) to maintain engagement.
Use powerful and emotive language to leave a lasting impression.
Vary sentence structure and rhythm to keep the reader engaged.

5. Unique Selling Proposition (USP)
Objective: Highlight what uniquely qualifies the author as an exceptional candidate.
Questions to Ask:
What distinguishes the author from other applicants?
Does the essay showcase unique talents, perspectives, or experiences?
How does the author convey their potential contributions to the college community?
Persuasion Techniques:
Clearly state the unique value proposition the author offers.
Use specific examples to demonstrate uniqueness rather than general statements.
Align personal strengths with the college's needs and values.

6. Emotional Appeal
Objective: Evoke emotions that make the essay memorable and impactful.
Questions to Ask:
Does the essay elicit emotions such as joy, empathy, inspiration, or curiosity?
Are emotional moments authentic and not manipulative?
How do these emotions enhance the reader's connection to the author?
Persuasion Techniques:
Incorporate sensory details to immerse the reader in the experience.
Use anecdotes that tap into universal emotions.
Balance emotional content with rational insights.

7. Credibility and Authenticity
Objective: Build trust through honesty and consistency in the author's voice.
Questions to Ask:
Does the essay feel genuine and sincere?
Is the author's voice consistent and distinctive?
Are there any doubts about the authenticity of the experiences shared?
Persuasion Techniques:
Avoid exaggerations and maintain honesty throughout.
Reflect on lessons learned to show self-awareness.
Acknowledge imperfections to present a realistic portrayal.

8. Clarity and Conciseness
Objective: Communicate ideas effectively without unnecessary complexity.
Questions to Ask:
Is the essay free from jargon and overly complex language?
Do sentences and paragraphs convey ideas clearly and directly?
Does each element of the essay serve a purpose in advancing the narrative?
Persuasion Techniques:
Use simple and direct language for greater impact.
Eliminate filler words and redundancies.
Prioritize active voice to create a sense of immediacy.

9. Audience Awareness
Objective: Tailor the essay to resonate with admissions officers and align with the college's values.
Questions to Ask:
Does the essay demonstrate an understanding of what the admissions committee values?
Is the tone appropriate for a college essay?
How does the essay illustrate the author's fit with the college's culture and programs?
Persuasion Techniques:
Research the college's mission and values, and reflect them in the essay.
Address specific programs or opportunities at the college that align with the author's goals.
Show enthusiasm for joining the college community.

10. Call to Action (CTA)
Objective: Leave a lasting impression that motivates the admissions officer to advocate for the author's admission.
Questions to Ask:
Does the conclusion reinforce the main message and core values?
Is there a compelling closing statement that encapsulates the author's aspirations?
How does the essay inspire the reader to take action (i.e., support the application)?
Persuasion Techniques:
End with a strong, memorable statement that highlights the author's vision for the future.
Summarize key themes to reinforce the essay's impact.
Create a sense of anticipation for the author's potential contributions.

Overall Assessment
Integration of Persuasion Science and Copywriting:
Has the author effectively employed techniques from persuasion and advertising to enhance the essay?
Are the persuasive elements subtle and integrated naturally into the narrative?
Emotional and Intellectual Balance:
Does the essay strike a balance between emotional appeal and intellectual depth?
How effectively does the essay engage both the heart and mind of the reader?
Revision and Refinement:
Is there evidence that the essay has undergone significant revision and improvement?
Has feedback been incorporated to strengthen the essay's effectiveness?




UC Prompt# 6. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.
From the moment I folded my first paper airplane at five, a fascination with flight ignited within me, fueling a relentless curiosity about how things work. High school chemistry captivated me; Mr. Foster’s experiments—like dissolving a chicken drumstick in piranha solution—showed me that science is exhilarating and full of wonder.

When AP Chemistry didn’t meet my expectations, I faced self-doubt. Determined to maintain my passion, I turned to online resources and virtual labs, immersing myself in self-directed learning. Earning a 4 on the exam taught me resilience and adaptability, reaffirming my belief in overcoming obstacles through perseverance.

Inspired by Scott H. Young’s “MIT Challenge,” I pursued engineering and CAD design. Collaborating with friends, we built a go-kart from an old tricycle. Challenges abounded—sourcing materials, setting up electronics, and navigating design constraints. When our braking mechanism failed during a test run, resulting in my friend's minor injury, we could have quit. Instead, we analyzed the failure, researched solutions, and redesigned the system. Successfully racing the go-kart was unparalleled—a testament to teamwork and determination.

These experiences solidified my desire to pursue aerospace engineering, blending my love for chemistry and engineering to focus on sustainable aviation technologies. Learning about UCLA alumnus Kevin Mark, a Propulsion Engineer at NASA, and UC Irvine alumna Olya Filimonova further fueled my ambition. Their work aligns with my goal of creating eco-friendly aviation solutions and inspires me to push beyond conventional limits.

Reflecting on my journey, I realize that each challenge offered unique lessons. The go-kart project taught me that failure is an opportunity for innovation and growth. Self-studying AP Chemistry emphasized the importance of resourcefulness when traditional learning falls short. These insights deepened my understanding of engineering—not just applying principles, but persevering, collaborating, and continuously improving.

At the University of California, I plan to join the Aerospace Engineering Society, engage in research on sustainable materials, and pursue internships in aerospace technology. I'm excited about the university's initiatives in renewable energy within aerospace contexts. Inspired by UC aerospace leaders, I look forward to contributing to the UC community, advancing the future of flight through ingenuity and dedication.