write really overly-funny super hilarious comedy RUDE adult humor 17+ Thomas and Friends cartoon parody transcript parody version of this script: (With characters questioning stuff that makes no sense and why and how. Some characters often say the most out of context or suggestive things in a situation unintentionally and not realizing, followed by a beat (a silence), disturbing their drivers, or anyone else, characters might often tell them either to not finish that sentence, or never say that again) 

Ringo Starr: One winter evening, Henry's driver said...
Henry's Driver: We'll be out early tomorrow. We've got to take the Flying Kipper. Don't tell Gordon, but I think if we pull the Kipper nicely, the Fat Controller will let us pull the express. The special coal they gave you is working well.
Henry: Hoorah!
Ringo Starr: Cried Henry.
Henry: That will be lovely.
Ringo Starr: All kinds of ships use the harbour at the big station by the sea. There are passenger ships, cargo ships and fishing boats also come here. They unload their fish on the key. Some of it goes to shops in the town, and the rest in a special train to other places far away. This is the train the railway men called the Flying Kipper. Henry was ready at 5:00. There was snow and frost. Men hustled and shouted loading the vans with crates of fish. The last door banged, the guard showed his green lamp, the Flying Kipper was ready to go.
Henry: Come on. Come on. Don't be silly. Don't be silly.
Ringo Starr: Puffed Henry to the vans. The vans shuttered and groaned.
Vans: Trock-trick! Trock-trick! All right! All right!
Henry: That is better. That is better.
Ringo Starr: Puffed Henry. Clouds of smoke and steam poured from his funnel into the cold air, and the fire's light shown brightly.
Henry: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
Ringo Starr: Panted Henry. They were going well. The light grew better, signal lights shown green as they passed. Then, a yellow signal appeared ahead. His driver prepared to stop, but the home signal was down.
Henry's Driver: All clear, Henry. Away we go.
Ringo Starr: They couldn't know the points from the main line to a siding were frozen, and the home signal should have been set at "Danger", but snow had forced it down. A goods train was waiting in the siding to let the Flying Kipper past, and the driver and fireman were drinking cocoa in the brake van.
Guard: The Kipper is due.
Ringo Starr: Said the guard.
Fireman: Who cares?
Ringo Starr: Said the fireman.
Fireman: This is good cocoa.
Ringo Starr: The driver got up.
Driver: Come on, fireman. Back to our engine.
Ringo Starr: They got out just in time.
(Henry crashes into the brake van and comes off the rails)
Ringo Starr: Henry's driver and fireman had jumped clear before the crash, but Henry lay dazed and surprised. The Fat Controller came to see him.
Henry: The signal was down, sir.
Ringo Starr: Said Henry.
The Fat Controller: Cheer up, Henry. It wasn't your fault. Ice and snow cause the accident. I'm sending you to Crewe, a fine place for sick engines. They'll give you your new shape and a larger firebox. You'll feel a different engine, and you won't need special coal anymore. Won't that be nice?
Henry: Yes, sir.
Ringo Starr: Said Henry doubtfully. Henry liked being at Crewe, but was glad to come home. A crowd of people waited to see him arrive in his new shape. He looked so splendid and strong that they gave him three cheers.
Henry: Peep! Peep!
Ringo Starr: He whistled.
Henry: Thank you very much!
Ringo Starr: I am sorry to say that a lot of little children are often late for school, because they wait to see Henry go by. They often see him pulling the express. He does it so well that Gordon is jealous. But that's another story.