Please refine the following in English.
Personal Statement
Dear Visa officer,

Having studied in Canada for nearly 6 years and maintaining impeccable travel records during this time, I am deeply surprised by the rejection of my study permit renewal application. The previous visa officer determined that my application did not align with the purpose of temporary stay. However, I find this assessment to be both unreasonable and unfair, as the consequences of being unable to return to Canada and finish my final 21 credits would render the past three years of my education futile. I firmly believe that no one can bear such a significant loss, and this holds true for me as well.

Starting studying the Bachelor of Arts-Psychology (Minor in Sociology) at the University of Alberta in Canada in Sep. 2016, I have dedicated myself to my studies over the years. I have completed the majority of the requirements for my program and only have 21 credits left to obtain my bachelor’s degree, which is crucial for my future career prospects. Unfortunately, interrupted by the unforeseen circumstances of the COVID-19 pandemic and my mother’s illness in China in Aug. 2020, I had to return to China to take care of her. Although I was unable to physically continue my studies in Canada, I planned to attend online classes to complete the remaining credits, as allowed by the university. However, due to network difficulties in the remote area where my mother was located in Lhasa, Tibet, I was unable to consistently access online courses and I had no choice but to suspend my studies after earning the university’s consent.

To make efficient use of my time and not let my studies go to waste, I began engaging in short-term work during my stay in China to apply the knowledge I gained in the field of psychology. I worked as a learning advisor and a Cambridge English teacher at Xizang Zhuomeng Education Training Center, Chinese tutor at Beijing Dreamaker Times International Cultural Co. Ltd., as well as Governess for children. These diverse work experiences provided me with invaluable opportunities to collaborate with people from different backgrounds while applying my academic knowledge in practice. Furthermore, I accompanied my mother back to Beijing, seeking better medical treatment. Fortunately, with the advanced medical care she received in Beijing, my mother has fully recovered, showing no signs of relapse.

My mother feels a deep sense of guilt for interrupting my studies and urges me to return to Canada as soon as possible to complete my final 21 credits for graduation. I also believe that now is the opportune time to finish my remaining coursework. Therefore, on June 27, 2023, I submitted my study permit renewal application. Unfortunately, I received the unfortunate news that my application was rejected. I am deeply puzzled, as I have complied with the legal procedures for visa renewal multiple times and have made numerous lawful visits between China and Canada during my six years of study. If my application was not for temporary stay, why I came back China so many times?

Dear visa officer, I understand your concerns about the consistency of my visit’s purpose with temporary residency. However, it is it is crucial to note that my purpose is to complete my Bachelor’s degree, which will serve as the foundation for my future development in China. My return to China was not solely for the purpose of taking care of my mother; I was also able to showcase my expertise in psychology through the short-term work experiences I undertook. If I am unable to return to Canada to complete my final credits, the past three years of my education will have been in vain. Hence, my visit has both a valid and necessary temporary purpose.

I sincerely hope that you can reconsider my application and grant me the visa approval. I promise to abide by Canadian laws and regulations as before, complete my studies on time, and return to China with the most applicable psychological knowledge. The detection rate of depression among Chinese adolescents is 24.6%, and the number is actually higher. In my short-term work experience, I have met many parents who adopted wrong educational methods due to lack of relevant knowledge. Applying psychological knowledge into education can better guide children’s growth and assist in building a healthier parent-child relationship. Having worked in Lhasa and Beijing for the past three years, I have accumulated certain contacts and reputation, and do not need to start from scratch when I return to China. I am the only child in my family. My father died early, and I grew up with my mom, and there is an inseparable connection between the two of us. My mother does not speak English and has never had the experience of living abroad, so I will complete my study in Canada as soon as possible and return to China to take better care of her. So, I sincerely hope my application for renewing the study permit would be approved. Many thanks.

Sincerely yours,
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