Analyse this text:
I had cancer in 2022. It was growing since 2021 but was only diagnosed in 2022. At least it waited until I finished university to become worse. I won't say my world fell apart. Perhaps I was needing some rest despite the aggressive nature of cancer treatment. It was a stubborn disease, I took every chemotherapic you can think of and it always grew back. My doctor even went as far as to say he didn't know what else to do. I possess high resistance to chemotherapics and anaesthetics for some reason. My hair didn't even fall down. All of this was definitely harder on my parents than it was for myself. All my friends and family rooted for me and voiced support for my treatment, though my social life suffered a bit. I could no longer walk around or go out as I pleased since my immune system was weakened and I had less stamina overall. We can say I became sedentary. I used to be very active, working everyday, going out with friends quite often and the such, so this made me restless. I adapted over time and learnt to appreciate just being home. My mother became even more protective of me and even my father, who never cried in front of me, teared up sometimes. They said my resignation gave them strength. I always thought to myself "If I'm ill, I just need to be treated." Not even once did I fear for my death. The only thing that really affected me was that the ability to have children was taken away even before treatment. The cancer affected the lymphatic system, so that's probably related to sperm production. The doctor warned me I'd probably no longer be able to have children, "probably" being the keyword. I still haven't done a spermogram to check if I'm realy sterile and honestly, I'm afraid to do it.
While I "rotted away" at home, my friends kept growing, working, meeting other people. I can't help but think two years of my life were taken from me. How would my life have been if I had never had cancer? My friends acocmpanied me to the chemotherapy sessions quite often, especially the three closest: R, H, and A. R and H are twin brothers and I've been friends with them since I was 9 years old. A is female and we met when we were 14, though we only became friends at 17. I was actually in love with her but she seemed not to reciprocate. I eventually grew out of it and we remained just friends.
I had to move for some months for the bone marrow transplant. This was after some experimental treatment was done to me, which showed promising results. The transplant was supposed to be the last thing I did to get rid of the cancer. It was only me and my mum living in a 2 room apartment. I couldn't see anyone for that time and sometimes felt lonely, but I was already used to it at that point. My hair fell down as expected. The new doctor who was supervising my case had to give me almost double the doses of chemotherapy and other medicine since my genetics were uresponsive to treatment, as I've already mentioned. Still, I survived. The transplant was a success and the cancer was almost completely gone. I just had to do some sessions of radiotherapy to eradicate it once and for all.
And so I did. My friends R and H often took me to the clinic, the sessions happening often after midnight. We had quite a good time then. Unfortunately for me, both of them managed to find girlfriends. They didn't "abandon" me, of course, since they accompanied me out of their goodwill until the end of my treatment. It ended December last year and we're in early May 2024 now. Those friends I mentioned, R and H, unfortunately are unavailable to me. Their work and relationships take too much of their time. It hurt at the beginning but I'm used to it now. I no longer miss their company. I've reestablished contact with A and we've gone out some times this year but a friendship with a woman is different from a friendship with a fellow male. I'll admit I can go days without talking or messaging anyone (outside of work and family) and it takes its toll. Humans are social creatures and I'm no exception. I might go so far as to say I feel lonely.
When I finally found work in my area, I was delighted. I was eager to earn money and become useful since I spent a little over 2 years at home being treated. I was to work in 12h shifts in alternating days. I thought I could take it but the long shifts are tiring. I can't even rest the following day because I spend my time anticipating the woes of the next day of work. It's honestly some tiresome work I do at the hospital. My team is small, only consisting of 2 or 3 people. Our supervisor is a quite stressed woman due to all the pressure she faces from the other areas of the hospital and I can't seem to have a friendly relationship with her. It's a shame, since I was quite close to my supervisor from my first internship and had good relations with my bosses from the second internship.
I noticed my brain has been in a constant fog-like state. I soon forget things that wete told to me moments ago, I can't seem to focus quite well and learning new things became harder. Even making new memories isn't as easy anymore. Coincidentally, I was watching a strategy game YouTuber who said he also had cancer and that chemotherapy can affect your brain and literally kill neurons and prevent new ones from being formed. I researched it and it was true. That's why I'm not as sharp anymore, no longer as light on my feet as before. My stamina is also lower and the quality of my sleep worsened, especially since I began working.
I'm stumped. I keep making mistakes at work and I'm not as useful as I should be. I don't know how long I can take it. I've never been so lonely.