ESSAY OUTLINE

Essay question chosen: What is the most important thing about being human that technology cannot replicate?

Short Story Chosen: The Pedestrian

Introduction		/5

Topic Sentence: In “The Pedestrian”, Ray Bradbury shows that the most important thing about being human that technology cannot replicate is how we need human connections and interactions for our mental wellbeing.



Context: Leonard Mead, the main character, lives in a futuristic society where most people have been addicted to their televisions and no longer enjoy themselves outside or have interactions with one another. Mr. Mead walks through the empty streets, looking for connection but only finds loneliness.



Thesis: Ray Bradbury shows that technology cannot replace the importance of human connection and interactions because of bogus entertainment, the lifeless city, and the absence of people being outside, which we need for our happiness and mental or emotional well-being.




Success Criteria
Level 1
Level 2
Level 3
Level 4
Topic Sentence (KT)      
 /1
-does not identify topic successfully or is absent
-not very clear, confusingly worded
-clear, but awkwardly worded
-very clear, easy to understand

Context (K)
             /1
-sentence doesn’t summarize story
-missing title and author
-sentence is somewhat confusing
-missing 1
-discusses some facts in the story
-includes title and author
-discusses clear facts in the story
-includes title and author name

Thesis (KTA)
/3
-is more of a fact than an argument
- not a formal opinion
-should be more argumentative
-not formally worded
-a bit vague/ unclear
-mostly formally worded
-very clear and argumentative
-formally worded





Body Paragraph #1			/7

Topic Sentence: Humans need connections and experiences with other for their emotional fulfilment, and Mr. Mead figures this out himself in the story as he finds himself in loneliness as technology tries to take over.



Introduce Quote (Context): While walking alone at night, Leonard Mead talks to the dark houses around him because he wishes someone would answer back. This shows that he feels  very lonely in a world where people would rather sit inside and watch tv all night instead of talking to each other.



Quote: “Hello, in there,” he quietly says to each house that he passes. “What’s up tonight on Channel 4, Channel 7, Channel 9? Where are the cowboys rushing, and do I see the United States Cavalry over the next hill to the rescue?”

Analysis: The quote shows how much Mr. Mead wants to connect with the people inside the houses because he feels alone outside. When he talks to the houses and asks silly questions about the tv shows, we see that he’s just trying to make a connection with the people he can’t see. But, the houses are silent, which means that no one is paying attention or having real conversations anymore.


Concluding Sentence This quote is a good example of how important it is for people to interact with each other instead of letting technology do it for them.


Success Criteria
Level 1
Level 2
Level 3
Level 4
Topic Sentence (TA)
/1
-does not identify topic successfully or is absent
-not very clear, confusingly worded
-clear, but awkwardly worded
-very clear, easy to understand
Introduce Quote (K)
/1
-introduction of quote is ineffective/ absent
-introduction of quote is unclear/ partially ineffective
-effective plot summary introduces quote
-very effective plot summary introduces quote

Quote (KT)
/2
-selected quote isn’t very relevant to argument
-selected quote is somewhat good evidence for argument
-selected quote is adequate evidence for argument
-selected quote is very good evidence for argument


Analysis (KTA)
/3
-analysis is quite minimal in quality and quantity
-does not successfully explain how quote helps to prove thesis
-analysis shows effort, but is a bit confusing/ unclear
-somewhat explains how quote helps to prove thesis, needs more detail
-analysis is thorough and shows good critical thinking
-explains how quote helps to prove thesis, could be a bit more detailed
-analysis is insightful and shows excellent critical thinking
-very clearly explains how quote helps to prove thesis










Conclusion		/3

Restate thesis: People having experiences and enjoying life together is essential for our happiness and emotional well-being, which tech can simply not replace.



Final Thought: While society becomes more and more reliant on technology and screens, it’s good to remember that embracing our human nature and creating real connections with others is what helps us live better lives.



What did I do well on the essay outline? List 2-3 components I did well on the essay.