Fix my essay to meet the rubrics:

Rubrics:
Reporting
Category Scoring Criteria
Row A
Thesis
(0-1 points)
4.B
0 points
For any of the following:
• There is no defensible thesis.
• The intended thesis only restates the prompt.
• The intended thesis provides a summary of the issue with no
apparent or coherent claim.
• There is a thesis, but it does not respond to the prompt.
1 point
Responds to the prompt with a thesis that presents a defensible position.
Decision Rules and Scoring Notes
Responses that do not earn this point:
• Only restate the prompt.
• Do not take a position, or the position is vague or must
be inferred.
• Equivocate or summarize other’s arguments but not the student’s
(e.g., some people say it’s good, some people say it’s bad).
• State an obvious fact rather than making a claim that requires
a defense.
Responses that earn this point:
• Responds to the prompt rather than restate or rephrase the prompt, and the
thesis clearly takes a position rather than just stating that there are pros/cons.
Additional Notes:
• The thesis may be more than one sentence, provided the sentences are in close proximity.
• The thesis may be anywhere within the response.
• For a thesis to be defensible, the sources must include at least minimal evidence that could be used to support that thesis; however, the student need
not cite that evidence to earn the thesis point.
• The thesis may establish a line of reasoning that structures the essay, but it needn’t do so to earn the thesis point.
• A thesis that meets the criteria can be awarded the point whether or not the rest of the response successfully supports that line of reasoning.
Reporting
Category Scoring Criteria
Row B
Evidence
AND
Commentary
(0-4 points)
2.A
4.A
6.A
6.B
6.C
0 points
Simply restates thesis
(if present), repeats
provided information, or
references fewer than two
of the provided sources.
1 point
EVIDENCE:
Provides evidence from or
references at least two of the
provided sources.
AND
COMMENTARY:
Summarizes the evidence
but does not explain how
the evidence supports the
student’s argument.
2 points
EVIDENCE:
Provides evidence from or
references at least three of
the provided sources.
AND
COMMENTARY:
Explains how some of the
evidence relates to the
student’s argument, but
no line of reasoning is
established, or the line of
reasoning is faulty.
3 points
EVIDENCE:
Provides specific evidence
from at least three of
the provided sources to
support all claims in a line of
reasoning.
AND
COMMENTARY:
Explains how some of the
evidence supports a line of
reasoning.
4 points
EVIDENCE:
Provides specific
evidence from at least
three of the provided
sources to support
all claims in a line of
reasoning.
AND
COMMENTARY:
Consistently explains how
the evidence supports a
line of reasoning.
Decision Rules and Scoring Notes
Typical responses that
earn 0 points:
• Are incoherent or do not
address the prompt.
• May be just opinion with
no textual references
or references that are
irrelevant.
Typical responses that earn
1 point:
• Tend to focus on summary
or description of sources
rather than specific
details.
Typical responses that earn
2 points:
• Consist of a mix of
specific evidence and
broad generalities.
• May contain some
simplistic, inaccurate, or
repetitive explanations
that don’t strengthen the
argument.
• May make one point well
but either do not make
multiple supporting claims
or do not adequately
support more than one
claim.
• Do not explain the
connections or
progression between the
student’s claims, so a line
of reasoning is not clearly
established.
Typical responses that earn
3 points:
• Uniformly offer evidence
to support claims.
• Focus on the importance
of specific words and
details from the sources
to build an argument.
• Organize an argument
as a line of reasoning
composed of multiple
supporting claims.
• Commentary may fail to
integrate some evidence
or fail to support a key
claim.
Typical responses that
earn 4 points:
• Uniformly offer
evidence to support
claims.
• Focus on the
importance of specific
words and details from
the sources to build an
argument.
• Organize and support
an argument as a line of
reasoning composed
of multiple supporting
claims, each with
adequate evidence that
is clearly explained.
Additional Notes:
• Writing that suffers from grammatical and/or mechanical errors that interfere with communication cannot earn the fourth point in this row.
Reporting
Category Scoring Criteria
Row C
Sophistication
(0-1 points)
2.A
4.C
6.B
8.A
8.B
8.C
0 points
Does not meet the criteria for one point.
1 point
Demonstrates sophistication of thought and/or a complex understanding of the
rhetorical situation.
Decision Rules and Scoring Notes
Responses that do not earn this point:
• Attempt to contextualize their argument, but such attempts
consist predominantly of sweeping generalizations.
• Only hint at or suggest other arguments.
• Use complicated or complex sentences or language that is
ineffective because it does not enhance the student’s
argument.
Responses that earn this point may demonstrate sophistication of thought
and/or a complex understanding of the rhetorical situation by doing any of the
following:
1. Crafting a nuanced argument by consistently identifying and exploring
complexities or tensions across the sources.
2. Articulating the implications or limitations of an argument (either the
student’s argument or arguments conveyed in the sources) by situating it
within a broader context.
Additional Notes:
• This point should be awarded only if the sophistication of thought or complex understanding is part of the student’s argument, not merely a phrase

Essay:


Food is undeniably crucial for our survival and well-being. Throughout history, our ancestors relied heavily on meat and other nutrient-rich foods to sustain themselves. Given this historical context, how are institutions and schools adopting the practice of “Meatless Monday” to encourage people to eat meat-free meals once per week. It seems like a counterintuitive idea. And while there are some valid concerns about health risks, environmental issues and energy concerns, the fact of the matter is that meat is highly nutritious food for us and as such school cafeterias, which in some areas feed nutrient deprived students from low-income areas should not participate in “Meatless Monday”.

A valid concern that is raised of not adopting “Meatless Monday” is that of the consumption of red-meat and dietary fat leading to heart disease(Source A). While this is a valid concern, there are two things wrong with adopting Meatless Monday for this concern. One reason is that meatless doesn’t always mean it is better for you, according to health expert Robbie Barrie, a nutritionist who specializes in kid’s eating says that “Grilled cheese as part of a healthy balanced diet is fine, But I don’t consider it healthy on its own. The saturated fat in grilled cheese is almost the same as the saturated fat in red meat”(Source D). Another reason is that if the school cafeterias were that worried about red-meat and dietary fat leading to heart disease(Source A), then should just not red-meat serve at school as it main reason to even pursue “Meatless Monday” and also use a system similar to one used in U.S military cafeterias to subconsciously urge soldiers to make more healthy choices through the use of tiering the food(talk about Go for Green by the DoD here ) to make the food high in fat and red-meat be at a much lower tier compared to some other healthier food option. Considering everything that has been stated above, it shows how pointless Meat Monday is as the issues of red-meat and high dietary fat can be easily solved with other methods like the one in the military and such school cafeterias, should not participate in Meatless Monday.

Another valid concern is that of environmental issues and energy usage. While this is a valid concern as “livestock consume 77 million tonnes of protein that could be potentially be used for human nutrition(Source B)”, this can be easily circumvented by creating more sustainable animal farming methods which would not only make us less concerned about the environmental issues and energy usage that traditional farming has but would increase the sale of meat products(Source F) and would lead to farmers not having to worry about the future( Source E).