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Assistant: Title: Scars That Never Healed.
        Author: sagreid sagreid 
        Chapter: 1/8 
        Summary: Spencer and Lilith have been best friends since they started at the BAU, and Lilith quickly became his confidant regarding his issues with his mother. After every bad visit, they had this unspoken agreement that he could come over, and they would sip tea and watch a movie. They had a routine. But, one day, Spencer breaks this routine and leaves Lilith questioning everything.
        Contents: Chapter 1
    

    


  

  
  
    
    Lilith closed the door behind her. Holding it closed like some imaginary madman banged on it from the other side. But, atlas, there was nothing. She sighed before pushing herself off the door and scanning the apartment for what needed to be done. Dishes need to be done and put away. The blankets on the couch need to be folded. The coffee table needed to be cleared off. She recited inside her head. 
  Today was the second Wednesday in March, meaning Lily could most likely expect Spencer Reid at her door in about an hour. Maybe two if there’s traffic, and judging by the rainstorm that has been haunting the small town of Quantico, Virginia, all day, Lily would bet on the latter. 

  Lilith and Spencer had an unspoken agreement. Spencer knocked on her door after a bad visit with his mother, whom he visits every other Wednesday. And, of course, she opened it, revealing the 30-something man she had been calling her friend for years. He would always get invited in no matter what expression he showed up with, whether it be sadness, horror, or sometimes even anger. 

  Lily would then lead him to the couch, sit him down, and put on a pot of black tea, just as she knew Spencer liked it. She would 
  
    always
  
   ask him if he wanted to talk about it. Like clockwork, he would look up from fiddling with his hand or shirt hem and wordlessly shake his head. She would then nod, and usually,  the tea would be done by then. 

  Today, Lily is sure Spencer will show up because that’s all he’s been doing recently. Before, it was maybe once a month every couple of months, but now it's every time he visits his mom. Lilith couldn’t help but 
  
    notice
  
  . Notice how he has to force the smile on his face when he walks into the bullpen. Notice the slight bitterness in his tone when he wishes their colleagues a “good morning” or “good night”. 

  Lilith is lighting candles to give Spencer a calm and cozy atmosphere when Spencer knocks on the door, as if on cue. 

  When she finally reaches the door, she takes a deep breath and slumps her shoulders before quickly picking them back up and turning the doorknob. Spencer looks up from the floor as the door opens, revealing him like a curtain being pulled back on a stage. 

  “Hi, Spence,” Lilith said, with her warm smile. Spencer’s gaze flickered down to her lips. Almost as if to savor her smile. It's as if he was trying to take a picture of it with his brain. Before she can notice his gaze lingering, he looks up to her pretty blue eyes. 

  “You alright?” Lily asked as Spencer shook his head, not to say no but to snap him out of his thoughts. 

  “Can I come in?” He asked, looking down again and picking at the skin around his nails. 

  “Of course,” Lily says in a warm, soft voice. She takes his hand, stops him from picking his nails, and leads him to the couch as always. He flops down on the sofa and plays with the hem of his shirt, and Lily notices. 
  
    Familiar.
  

  Spencer feels the couch dip down as Lily's weight sinks into it. Then, he feels a calming, anchoring hand on his back. 

  “Do you want to talk about it?” She almost whispers. Spencer stops playing with the hem of his shirt and locks eyes with her. 

  “No.” He whispers back. 
  
    Familiar. 
  

  Lilith nodded and gave him a reassuring smile as the kettle started screaming, signaling the water was boiled. She excused herself and shuffled to the kitchen. 

  Spencer watches her disappear around the corner. Once she's out of sight, he looks down at his hands. Analyzing the picked skin around his nails, he lets out a frustrated huff.

  The truth is, his mom has been getting worse. Much, much worse. It's almost as if every time he visits, it makes her even angrier. Spencer has been pleading with his mother to take her meds, and she keeps refusing. 

  “Why would I put so much time into something that does nothing for me?” She argued. Spencer sighed as he replayed the conversation in his head. 

  “Well, I think that's foolish, and I don’t understand why you won't do this for me.” He shakes his head. Why did his voice have to break like that? Weakness was something he was taught not to show. 

  Lily walked back into the living room, and Spencer looked up again, snapping out of his thoughts. 

  “Here ya go.” She said softly, handing him his favorite dark green mug. Spencer nods and takes it, blowing the steam off the top. Lilith nodded back and took her place next to him on the couch. 

  “Movie?” Lily asks, turning on the TV. The brightness from the screen casts a bright glow on both of their faces. She took a second to appreciate the man before her, her eyes lingering on his eyes, then the slope of his nose, then his lips, before looking for an answer. 

  “Yes,” Spencer replies, a little sadness behind his voice. 

  “Which one?” Lily asks, tearing her gaze away from Spencer and scrolling through the movies. 
  “Forrest Gump.” He mumbled, laying his head down on her shoulder while being careful not to spill his tea. 
  “Okay.” Lily nodded and smiled. He always wanted to watch that familiar movie. She selected that one, and the open scene started. 

  “You hungry? Need anything?” Lilith whispered, trying not to be louder than the movie. 

  “No, Saint Lilith, I’m alright.” Spencer lets out a chuckle. D@mn, he must be exhausted. Either way, she nods, turns back to the TV, and they both watch it quietly. Lily occasionally checks up on him and laughs when something funny happens in the movie. 

  Once the movie's end credits start rolling, Spencer sits up properly again and stretches his neck out, sore from lying on Lily’s shoulder for two and a half hours. Once done with that, he stands up and looks down at Lily. 

  “Thank you.” He says, avoiding eye contact again. Like d@mn clockwork. 
  
    Familiar.
  

  Lily nods and says what she always does. 

  “Anytime. I’ll walk you out.” 

  She starts to get up, but a warm hand gently pushes her back down. 

  “No, Lilith. It’s fine.” Spencer says. Lily looks up at him, perplexed, and can’t help but notice the aftertaste of bitterness in his tone. 

  “Spence-” Lily tries, but Spencer's bitterness is more prominent now. And with that, he turns heel and leaves. 

  “Okay,” Lily whispered to herself, the dimness of her apartment engulfing her as this odd pang of loneliness hit her like a punch to the chest.'
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