Is there a precision in language:  It only amounted to one, and it would always be one and never two —and through his jaundice-soaked corneas, all he could see was nausea.

Suddenly, a violent heave claimed him, a primal urge rising in his liver. Bile stained his teeth, and the following retches were acidic, lashing the roof of his mouth with fury. It could never stop: his body rejected the substance over and over; he was dangling on the edge of sanity . “Not again. Please no-” Liam clenched his teeth, the crucial moment upon him; he had to keep the substance down, or the consequences would be dire. His eyes scanned the horizon with desperation before his lids slid closed, resistance wracking him. Then, as the urge to be sick overcame him, a voice pierced through his fog of despair, a lifeline amidst his struggle. “Can you hear me?” the rough, concerned tone asked as Liam writhed against the concrete, groaning… “Don’t try to answer that, but try to blink twice. Take it slow.” As he fought to drag his eyelids upward, the pain, like a coiling wire, constricted his blood flow in  retaliation. “Make it stop-No I-” he choked out , his voice puncturing the air. If he expelled the Vanderine from his intestines, his efforts would to amount to zero. Square one.

He was at the end of a long night,his vision raw from never resting his eyes, the blood vessels all but ruptured and torn. The ingested substance had been a sinister mistake. And if he threw up twice,  the Vanderine risked expulsion from his system; he battled to hold it inside. All he had could never be enough, he countered, what ever could? Even his attempts to obey the voice , coming from somewhere above him, seemed in vain.

As Liam writhed in the dying sunlight, his skin erupted in feverish bumps, a crawling sensation exploring the surface of his skin.  Violation jolted down his spine as he screamed through his clenched teeth . As the nausea rose again, claiming his entire being, his heart continued  to pulse, counting away the seconds.

“Help me—No. No,” he pled through his locking jaw as he fought another gripe. The instinctive reaction of his body gripped every fiber as he felt his fight ending. He embedded his teeth into his gag, screaming against the material bound across his tongue, taunting him.

Then, in one dreaded motion, the inevitable rise built within him. His pupils dilated with horror as his gag soon became saturated with the vile substance, leaving a bitter sting as he struggled against it; the retches that followed heaving through his chest.

Liam collapsed into the unforgiving embrace of the concrete, his ravaged body welcoming the end with resignation. “Shit,” he lamented , the heat in his own voice spreading across his flesh like untamed fire . “Twice… now it’s too late.”  Twisting his gaze away from the glistening pool of Vanderine, he diverted his gaze from the evident failure. And in a mixture of pure shock and trauma, his eyelids slid closed with exhaustion, his body embracing closure of his fight. After his ongoing efforts and endless torment, he failed to hold down the vandarine, and it was over.

But the voice persisted, causing Liam to force his eyes open, gritting his teeth. “No, I’m still here Liam; I’m getting the binds off—hang tight,” the voice reassured. Liam shook his head , protesting, the fear tugging at his psyche like a fishing line as he cursed in his mouth.

“No, you can’t help—”

As Liam fought to refocus his gaze, a pair of deep hazel eyes locked onto his own with concern. “Hey, breathe. I’ve got you. It’s me, Ry’. Hold on while I get rid of this—” Liam flinched as his gag tore from his mouth, and he gasped for fresh air, the stifling atmosphere saturating him with perspiration.

“Now hang tight while I get these damned binds off-“ , Ryan’s voice reassured with an undercurrent of urgency, as Liam’s arms obstructed his ribcage from accomodating his lungs. Liam’s voice died in his throat as the sear of rope twisted itself around his flesh , grinding like wildfire into his veins as Ryan worked at the constraints with bare hands. His deft fingers delivered frantic sensations into Liam’s malaise as they eroded the rope’s grained surface, causing the fibres to snap. Then, as Ryan tossed the strews of rope aside, he rolled Liam onto his back, smoothing a palm over his chest and anchoring his sternum. “Ryan? How the hell did you get out of your?” , Liam questioned in untamed confusion, shocks coursing down his spine as Ryan elevated his head and hauled it onto his thigh. “ It took a hell of a long time to wear down my own, but I managed to-ah it doesn’t matter , just concentrate on the breathing.” As his head lolled to the side , Liam’s laboured breaths stalled his movements , the horizon meeting his vision while Ryan held his jaw in place . “Easy, slow breaths, feel how I’m breathing buddy and mirror that.” It was a few minutes before Liam’s chest finally fell into a rhythm, his spasmodic breathing evening out. “There we go, give it some time, it’s been a long damn night.”, Ryan said, his hands remaining secure against Liam’s face as he refocused his vision on Ryan’s steady gaze. Liam, reaching up and gripping Ryan’s arm, smiled against the warm twilight rays of daylight that bathed his features. “Hell of a thing to endure, seeing all that… Damn lucky that we’re both still here.” Liam, pulling on Ryan’s arm, found the strength to prop himself into a seated position, still deprived of breath. “Shit. Get over here, Ry’” he said, as streams of magenta dust hovered , creating a surreal haze that reflected the rising sun.
Liam raised his arm and enveloped Ryan in a warm but rough embrace , melding their silhouettes into one as their shoulders collided. As Liam delivered a thump to his back, Ryan reciprocated by bumping his fist against Liam’s shoulder. “Yeah, yeah, calm down,” Ryan laughed in spite of his cool demeanour. “We’ll get a decent shot of water into you, after we find your clothes.” Ryan, lowering his deep hazel irises to meet Liam’s contrasting blue stare , placed a hand on Liam’s knee. “thank God I reached you in time.” Although the light had drained from his eyes , Liam managed a smirk. “Yeah, I know what you did Ry’ . It’s all kinda hazy but-“ Ryan dodged the heroics as he offered a smile and turned his head, the hues of the ominous sunrise casting across his profile , promising impending heat. “Nah, I don’t go down easy or nothin’ but someone had to save your ass.”

Passage two


"The sight of his crumpled jeans, smudged with fingerprints, hijacked his attention. “Those bastards don’t care what they leave behind,” Liam muttered as his eyes located his left sock, freezing his joints. “Please help me-“ he whispered, readjusting his grip on Ryan’s shoulder, wrenching his gaze away from the twisted display of inhumanity. Liam’s jaw clenched as he then noticed his dehumanizing undergarments strewn across the footpath, along with his boots and shirt. Ryan held his gaze steadfast on Liam’s faltering eyes as he approached Liam’s belongings, gathering them and subverting the underwear, scuffing it away with his boot.

Liam was already sliding toward the dusty ground as Ryan handed him the brusque garments, his expression gentle. “You earned your dignity, just focus on that,” he reassured as Liam accepted his ruined clothing with a wince. “Yeah, give me a minute-“ he said with a glimmer of resistance in his bloodshot eyes. The drugs in his vision burned with a harsh sting, and Liam shook his head to regain some clarity. “I don’t remember how I got here. No damn clue. Now here I am stripped naked- Ry’, I’m not even sure what’s real or what the Vanderine made me believe—and I only said yes because -”. With a jerk, Ryan pulled Liam inward by the waist. “Doesn’t matter. We never had a choice. But you put yourself in my place. And they never broke your damn spirit. And I can tell you right now, this is real.” Liam, looking away with a nod, fell into silence as he wrestled with the task of dressing himself. Ryan was quick to offer careful attention as he assisted Liam into his jeans. The denim, rough against his bare skin, left his bite crooked with agony. Each movement caused Liam to flinch as he guided his ankle through the hem and then buttoned the waist of the stained jeans . Ryan passed him his destroyed Henley , and Liam yanked it over his shoulders. With a groan , Liam sought leverage in Ryan’s grasp, haling himself upright. “Can you walk? Coz we need to find water , c’mon Li’ , sweet hydration awaits-“. As Liam broke into a grin that reached his pupils with a spark , his feet found equilibrium alongside Ryan’s stance. “Hell yeah-I’m dyin’ of thirst-“ . But as they attempted to leave, Liam’s breath was stolen by confronting remnants of his ordeal. He steeled his grip on Ryan’s arm as his eyes swept over the discarded bottle of lubricant and plastic glove, turned inside-out on the pavement. “Sick, perverted bastards.” Ryan almost spat as his heart was seized by the disarray that had paralysed Liam.
Shielded only by Ryan’s insistence as he guided Liam past the aftermath , he whispered, his tone punctured with disbelief.
“So you’re outta your binds and you untied mine, stripped my gag -and-“ Liam’s head fell to his hand , cradling his temple and gritting his teeth. “A lot of what happened is …missing Ry’ -how many times did they?“

Ryan responded with a gun-metal hollowness, his words smoked out by his steady exhale. “Several times at least . Enough times enough for anyone, let’s say that.”

Liam disengaged himself from Ryan’s grasp as he diverted the glare that was already rebounding off the asphalt . “I wish you hadn’t been forced to watch-“

Ryan dragged his legs into co-operation as he anchored himself against Liam. “It was hard yeah-but what they did-I know you think it was a mistake to say yes , but my mistake was to resist-“

The air clung to his flesh as Liam dragged his knuckles over his vision , finding a semblance of composure as he argued. “How the hell was it a mistake to avoid-this? Don’t you go getting all survivor’s guilt on me Ry. “ The amber flecks dissolved from Ryan’s aspect as he mumbled at the ground , grinding his hands into his pockets.
“I just , never mind. We both need water, and shade. And soon.”
Liam slung a recuperating arm around Ryan’s shoulder , and staggered in sync with his footsteps as the navigated the footpath as it winded into potential oblivion…

As they walked in shared disorientation, and noon encroached, Liam’s psyche was flooded with a flashback. His hand flew to his temple, clutching his hair as the thumping blades of a chopper cut through his thoughts. The unforgiving smash of his torso onto the ground, the impact coursing down his spine as he thrashed across the dirt and onto the pavement, echoed through his chest. “They threw me from a chopper, Ryan, arms bound to my sides. Did they do the same to you? Please tell me you know more than you’ve been letting on-“

At first Ryan hesitated, his words dead on his tongue as he swiped it across his teeth , as he stared out into the distance. “Yeah, after you, they hurled me down here , and I found myself staring into the barrel of a gun. Said there were more captives , but nothing about their sick intentions. Then you know the rest-“ With a somber nod, Liam added “Yeah, they brandish the damned pistol in my face and -“

Liam exhaled into the particles of oppressive dirt and debris as his posture slackened with the sobering reality of the moment .

“I already feel like they’ve killed me, Ry’. And they’ll be back. They’ll kill us like dogs-“

Ryan’s complexion drained out a shade of its colour and he shifted his weight under Liam’s one sided embrace, maintaining his stare into the spanning horizon.

“Well, I’m guessin’ they could zone in on us at any moment, and while I’ve out walked my limits, it’s probably only been under a mile. But as I said before , I don’t go down easy. “ he said, his detached voice peppered with defiance.

“Hell yeah you don’t “ Liam’s appreciative chuckle warmed the air along with a resonating smile, shrugging Ryan into closer proximity and supporting his weight. “If I live to see a stiff drink, I owe you . Speaking of which-“. Ryan’s eyes followed Liam’s to a ransacked dumpster further up the path, garbage cascading onto the concrete. “Liam, I don’t know that I’m above crawling in there to get out of this sun…just pull the lid down and die of dehy-“ Liam interjected as his eyes caught on several bottles of water , his relief interspersed through his laughter. “Don’t finish that thought Ry’ , I think we might not be the only survivors out here after all-“As the road stretched bare and cold ahead of them, Liam felt an imperceptible gleam of emotion in Ryan’s gaze, as the streetlight barred his irises. A shiver ran down Liam’s spine , as he disengaged himself from Ryan’s support, standing unaided and backing away. “Ry’ what’s going on?” . liam was met with a gut wrenching silence as Ryan walked over to the side of the empty abysmal road, and reached out into the frigid air, sticking out two fingers. “I’m sorry , Liam. Don’t thank me, but please forgive me”., he muttered in a low metallic tone, his eyes torn away as he dodged Liam’s pleas. “Hey , what are you actually hailing something?. There’s nothing here to-“ There’d been no traffic . No civilisation. And then there it was : A sleek black Chevrolet, with immaculate paintwork and a purring engine. Driving with a deliberate slowness . As it stopped , Ryan slipped into the passengers side, without so much as a word as the car sped away . Liam ran the back of his hand over his stunned gaze, as his heart clenched with a disembodying dread; he was alone. The color drained from his complexion , haunted at Ryan’s absence lingering in the moonlight. The chill that claimed his spine , as betrayal dragged forth stinging tears , slowly brought him to his knees as he scraped his palms through the gravel . “Don’t thank you? “ Liam’s gasp was isolated in the deadened air , framed by eeirie stillness. Dragging himself off the road , he slouched on the curb and let a torrent of grief and despair rage through him.

—-

The roads were dead, lifeless , without a pulse as Ryan watched Liam’s broken figure grow smaller in the rear view mirror of Valen’s car. “Look at the miserable bastard, Ryan, and again, take a nice , soul annihilating look at him. “ As Ryan felt the teeth of rage and helplessness chew his skin, he removed his gaze from the road. “Just spare him. I don’t care what this means for me . He’s fucking broken and I nailed his coffin shut. So yeah. Do what you will. With me .” Valens shrug was devoid of care as he laughed in amusement , as if delighted , but without investment. “Oh , what you need to know Ryan, is that I make your-experience-slow and you’ll be screaming obscenities out of that pretty mouth for the next month. Is he worth it. Ha. You’ll serve a purpose though , after all. “ Ryan’s gunmetal inflection remained in tact as he ventured “Oh, and how do you propose to make me scream anything-for you?” . Valen , lifting his hand from the wheel and running a finger down Ryan’s cheek, answered in a flat tone. “You need to meet Jake, your new bunk buddy. He’s screamed my name every night this week.” As a revulsion shot down Ryan’s spine , he stiffened against the leather of his seat, and watched the desolate streets blur past , as if the scenery could lurch forward and rescue him from the impending nightmare.

Ryan, breaking his visual include with the outside world, turned back to valens profile , challenging his facade. “Liam will die , we both know that. So just why do you think I really chose to serve your sick purpose. What’s my motive . You don’t even stop to think about such things. “ Valen’s stare only wavered from the road as he drawled in a freezing , almost lyrical response “Oh we both know Liam will try and find you , he’s so …empathic, self sacrificing, like you. But the difference is , from my observations, is you have no sense of self preservation . Almost suicidal. Or stupid. Or both. And if your purpose was to watch me , to save Jake, to save yourself , to even breathe , it all amounts to nothing. Every inch you run away from me, is an inch closer you run towards your grave Ryan . Remember that also.” . Feeling his spine revolt in pure disgust , the assualt of Liam’s implantation washed over Ryan’s resolve as he closed his eyes. There was a price for humanity, and he was only a dollar bill.

Valen’s voice filtered into the depths of Ryan’s pleading body as his boots were torn from his feet . “So , here we are again, only this time , even Jake’s dead body won’t much much of an accomplice huh?” . Ryan screamed from the bottom of his stomach, his diaphragm turned inside out with his efforts. “No-No” . Valens cold taunt was a mix of brevity and twisted enigma. “Liam says Hi, by the way .” Ryan felt the pressure of hands on this calves , and he slammed his jaw into the ground in repulsion. “Lies…you don’t have Liam , and you won’t break me that easily. “ he trailed into the pocket of stale air between his mouth and the ground . The room went dead , and within seconds Ryan was alone, the sensation of Valens fingers still etched in his shivering flesh . Then it hit his ear drums; Liam’s scream , a hoarse , defiant retaliation that twisted Ryan’s heart into an abstract mess. Then, Valens boots were at his head, Ryan’s bloodshot eyes accosting the sight . “You bastard, I said spare him for me- what fucking use is he to you?. He can’t hold down-“ . Valen only laughed , and re-iterated his slow clap. “One step closer to your grave Ryan-did you take that look at him in the highway. I hope so-“ as his guts recoiled , Ryan muttered out of earshot “please forgive me Li…”. As hands travelled up his thighs , he threw his head back and let out a guttural cry “Liam , I’m sorry”. His own voice striking the cold metal walls betrayed him. “Guess he can’t hear you Ryan, but you might have just stepped right into your grave.”

Liam felt hands on his skin, roaming his body as the heat gnashing mercilessly into his skin. “No , I told you I don’t know where he is -he abandoned me.” Liam’s heartbroken pleas resounded again the hollow sockets behind his eyes , bruised from the impact of a pistol . The gun , now lying near his skull , a discarded weapon, caused him to shiver in distress. “Just let me die -“ But it was square one. “Not your intestines, not this time. This time , your sinus cavities” a sinister laugh reverberated through Liam’s body . Valen was swift , and unemotional. the room drowned in darkness , enveloping Liam’s screams.


The ending? What if this was the ending . Ryan came into focus , and his bare feet came to a nullification of movement as he collapsed to his knees, “Liam? When I told you not thank me, well -“ Liam’s comatose stare barely registered Ryan’s voice as he broke down into regret laden tears . “I know you can’t hear me , I know I didn’t reach you in time “ Ryan whispered into the malaise of pale magenta dust that clung to the air . “Come here , Liam . Pulling him into a gentle, one sided embrace, he clung to Liam’s emaciated biceps with a deep remorse slithering through his veins , pulsating with his heartbeat. “I left you that night to save you but-Oh God if I’d known-“ . Ryan ripped his scathing retinas away from Liam’s vacant stare as he broke down in tears, interring his red eyes into Liam’s clavicle, the heaves wracking him, echoing through the room at a striking volume. Only metal walls could hear him grieve. Twice; and it was too late.