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 challenge yourself that's how you get
better don't run away from challenges
run towards challenges
don't follow the mob chrysippa says why
would i become a philosopher if i'm just
going to be like everyone else if i'm
going to follow the mob no i think for
myself it's the hardest thing in the
world to think for yourself as mark
twain says whenever you find yourself on
the side of the majority pause and
reflect it's not that they're always
wrong they just sometimes are and you
want to make sure you're deciding this
for yourself not just because everyone
else is saying or doing it so again the
stoics they're not contrarians but they
think independently and so must you
think about everything for yourself if
the mob is excited about it if the mob
is is beating up on someone if the mob
is caught up in a fad or a passion or a
trend that's a good sign that you should
step back think for yourself and do
what's actually right not just what
everyone else is doing
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epictetus says that every situation has
two handles and that's where this rule
actually adapted from thomas jefferson
comes from he says always grab the
smooth handle evicted says one of the
handles will hold weight the other won't
what handle you're gonna grab this
situation the one that empowers you or
disempowers you the one that makes you
angry or gives you something to focus on
and change right so every situation has
two handles which one are you gonna grab
grab the one that makes you better that
gives you something to do that that
challenges you ignore the other handle
seneca says every person is an
opportunity for kindness and that's the
rule here every situation is an
opportunity for kindness kindness is the
key it's what moves us forward never
pass up an opportunity to be kind to
care to be compassionate to listen to
appreciate what someone is going through
because that's the truth everyone is
going through something
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you have to say no a lot this goes back
to mark surrealist is this essential if
it's not essential what do you do this
is the rule you say no you have to say
no when i talk to nfl teams this is
something we talk about i say look
everything you say yes to means you're
saying no to something else
and whatever you say no to gives you
more room more time to say yes to what
matters in their case being great at
what they do so what are you going to
say no to this year so you can say yes
to the things that matter to the people
that matter in your life as well
you can't be afraid to ask for help i
don't want you to think that the stoics
are invulnerable that they're they never
show weakness in fact marx really says
you're like a soldier storming a wall if
you have to reach up and have a comrade
help you up so what i love this so what
so don't be afraid to ask for help i
love the book the boy the fox the horse
in the mall uh by charlie maxie who i
had on the daily stoke podcast and he's
he has a great line in that book he says
asking for help isn't giving up it's
actually refusing to give up don't be
afraid to be vulnerable don't be afraid
to ask for help dare greatly as brene
brown says be vulnerable ask for help
what is the path to wisdom seneca says
it's finding one thing every day one
quote one story one conversation one
book one insight that's the idea you get
better one thing at a time that's
actually why we do the daily stoic email
right every single day we send out a
free email inspired by stoicism to the
largest community of stoics ever in the
world almost 400 000 people get this
email you can sign up at dailystoke.com
email but the point is you gotta find
something that delivers value for you
every day you gotta seek it out one
thing that makes you better every day
that's the path to wisdom
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we're not in this alone to do harm to
another person to allow harm to come to
another person is to allow harm to come
to yourself so marcus really says in
this rule what's bad for the hive is bad
for the bee the way i think about this
is whatever i do say however i live i go
what would the world look like if
everyone did this right and if the
answer is things would fall apart things
would be bad then it's something i try
not to do right what's bad for others is
bad for me what's good for me should be
good for others
we talked about being tolerant with
others strict with yourself that means
not judging seneca says the study of
philosophy is about scrubbing off your
flaws
not other people's right leave other
people to their own mistakes don't judge
them especially people you don't know
especially people who are going through
things that you don't know about seneca
is right focus on yourself be strict
with yourself don't judge other people
leave them to their own struggle
you have to study the lives of the
greats seneca says choose yourself a
cato focus on someone who's going to
make you better as i say in my book the
lies of the stoics we study the lives of
the people who went before us so we can
learn easily what they learned with
great difficulty so we can pick up where
they left off so we don't have to learn
by trial and error find some heroes
study them learn from them learn what to
do what not to do that's the journey i'm
on with marcus really seneca epictetus
it's what i write about in lives of the
stokes but the idea is whose lives are
you studying and what are you learning
from them
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forgive forgive forgive that's this rule
i heard a great expression that
forgiveness is a gift that you give to