make a summary of the main points how to stay positive:


If you want to start to feel happy
0:05
it starts with you wanting to feel happy.
0:09
We like to sit and dwell,
0:11
We like to sit in our own sadness.
0:15
Make sure you’re spending time every single day
0:18
whether it’s 15-20 minutes, whether it’s an hour - two hours.
0:21
Take time to allow your mind
0:23
separation from the stresses of your day.
0:26
If you expect to fail
0:27
you will fail.
0:29
On the other hand if you expect to win, you will win.
0:32
And he’s right, because doctors and psychologists both alike
0:34
they agree that worrying actually does shorten your life
0:37
and it does damage your body.
0:39
We need to clear our thinking before we go to sleep.
0:42
We're talking about a book that Norman Vincent Peal wrote
0:46
“The Power of Positive Thinking."
Golden Nugget 1
0:55
Let’s kick this off with golden nugget number one:
0:58
Creating your own inner happiness.
1:01
That you are responsible for your own happiness
1:05
because unhappiness is usually the byproduct of you thinking sad thoughts,
1:09
you having these negative feelings,
1:11
you having resentment towards others
1:13
and just having an overall crappy outlook on life.
1:17
So if you think those things
1:19
what do you think is going to happen?
1:21
You have to force yourself to not think those negative thoughts.
1:27
Peal says, we have to get into the happiness habit
1:30
by thinking upbeat cheery thoughts throughout the day.
1:33
We like to sit and dwell.
1:35
We like to sit in our own sadness.
1:39
I don’t like to do that
1:39
but I just know that sometimes my brain forces me to do that
1:42
and I don’t know why.
1:42
So I have to force myself
1:44
to not do that.
1:46
I have to put on upbeat music,
1:47
I have to do something productive, I have to get in the gym.
1:49
I have to go hang around friends that are gonna make me laugh.
1:51
And it’s tough. At first it doesn’t feel right.
1:53
It feels like you’re forcing it because you ARE forcing it
1:56
but eventually it starts to make you feel better.
2:00
There are miracles happening all around you.
2:02
There is beauty all around you.
2:04
Open your eyes and look.
2:06
Can you see the sun shining?
2:07
Great.
2:08
Can you hear the birds chirping?
2:10
Great.
2:11
Can you feel the warmth of the sun on your skin?
2:14
Awesome!
2:16
There’s simple beauties all around us.
2:18
If you want to start to feel happy,
2:21
it starts with you wanting to feel happy.
2:24
So short circuit those negative thoughts.
2:26
And when you start to feel bad, when you start to find yourself gossiping
2:29
feeling guilty, feeling angry, feeling...
2:31
whatever it is you’re feeling that's negative,
2:33
turn that around,
2:35
force yourself to think positively,
2:37
do positive things
2:38
and while it doesn’t feel right at first,
2:40
keep going!
2:41
You’re on the right path.
Circle of Concern
2:45
Golden nugget number two:
2:46
The antidote to anxiety
2:50
is that people waste a lot of their time, a lot of their energy
2:52
fuming and fretting about things that they cannot control.
2:56
Go back to Covey’s principle:
2:57
circle of concern, circle of influence.
3:00
Focus only on those things in the circle of influence.
3:03
Everything else in the circle of concern, you can’t control.
3:06
You can’t affect that.
3:08
So move on!
3:09
Don’t allow your mind to just spend time in that space.
3:12
You’re wasting your mind’s energy.
Meditation
3:16
So as part of this antidote to anxiety,
3:18
Peal says that we need to slow down
3:21
to relieve our anxiety and to attain peace.
3:24
And he suggests meditation.
3:26
He suggests that we devote at least 15 minutes daily
3:29
to calming and relaxing ourselves
3:31
by thinking peaceful thoughts
3:33
or not thinking anything at all.
3:35
So something he shares in the book, is to help get rid of the tendency to worry
3:39
and get angry,
3:40
we need to relax
3:41
and spend a few minutes thinking about beautiful, peaceful settings.
3:44
Hearing the birds chirping, feeling the sun on our face.
3:47
All these things that I was talking about before
3:49
where it's just a matter of you actually thinking that in your mind.
3:52
Wherever you are.
3:53
If you're at work,
Anxiety to Antidote
3:54
if you're in your house, it doesn't...
3:57
Close your eyes
3:58
and open your mind to
4:00
maybe a place where you're on vacation before
4:02
and go there for 15 minutes.
4:04
Smell the smells
4:05
feel what the sand feels like on your feet,
4:07
feel yourself plunging into the ocean.
4:11
So the antidote to anxiety
4:13
it's all about clearing your mind.
4:14
However you choose to do that
4:17
make sure you're spending time every single day
4:20
whether it's 15-20 minutes,
4:22
whether it's an hour - two hours if you're working out at the gym,
4:24
whether you're doing yoga, whether you're going to cycling class,
4:26
whatever.
4:27
Take time to allow your mind
4:30
separation from the stresses of your day.
Expect the Best
4:33
Golden nugget number three:
4:35
Expect the best.
4:37
If you expect to fail
4:39
you will fail.
4:40
On the other hand, if you expect to win
4:42
you will win.
4:45
So, what seeds are you planting in your mind?
4:47
Are you planting seeds of positivity or seeds of negativity?
4:51
Guess what?
4:52
Your life is going to give you back more of that.
4:56
Are you planting seeds of oh, doubt and
4:58
oh, I’m not gonna make this work
4:59
or something bad is gonna happen?
5:02
If you're planting seeds of that
5:03
guess what you're gonna get? More of that.
5:07
Start focusing on the positive.
5:09
Start focusing on how things can go right
5:11
and guess what, when things go wrong say, Hmm
5:14
there's a lesson in that for me.
5:16
Because life doesn't happen to me, it happens for me.
5:18
So everything that's happening
5:20
is there to teach me a lesson.
5:21
This isn't a setback, it's a set up.
5:24
This thing that's really bad, it happened for a reason.
5:26
I'm gonna learn from it. I’m gonna get better.
Worry Not
5:30
Golden nugget number four:
5:32
Worry not.
5:34
And he's right because doctors and psychologists both alike
5:36
they agree that worrying actually does shorten your life.
5:40
And it does damage your body.
5:42
We need to clear our thinking before we go to sleep
5:44
and we need to imagine our worries
5:46
flowing out of our body like water out of a glass.
5:49
So don't think that my path is the right path. No, no.
5:53
This path is good for me.
Goals
5:57
I replaced worry with hope
5:59
by putting together goals.
6:00
I put together three goals:
6:02
a financial related goal,
6:03
a health related goal,
6:04
and a professional related goal.
6:05
Something that...
6:06
what I was going to do with my life.
6:09
And back in the day when I was going through those stresses,
6:11
I was worrying a lot.
6:13
A lot. I was having a tough time sleeping, I was having chest pains,
6:15
my heart was palpitating all the time
6:18
and I really just could not get
6:20
you know, a high level of satisfaction in life
6:22
and you know if you were saying on a scale of one to eight, Ryan again,
6:25
nines and tens are reserved for
6:27
very special times in our lives that seldom happen.
6:30
I was sitting at a four consistently.
6:33
Where I would wake up and I'd all of a sudden feel the stresses of the day.
6:35
I'd pass between three and four all the time.
6:38
So what I did was to replace that worry,
6:40
that anxiety, that fear
6:42
I built myself a plan that gave me hope.
6:44
Goals that gave me hope.
6:46
Something that got me excited,
6:48
something that I wanted to work towards,
6:49
something I wanted to achieve
6:50
because I knew that if I did it would get me out of this mess
6:52
and my life would be better as a result.
Problem Solving
6:56
Golden nugget number five:
6:58
Problem solving.
7:00
I had problems that I needed solutions to.
7:04
I had desires, I had wants,
7:06
I had dreams, I had goals that I needed a solution to.
7:11
The Cut the Crap show was a solution.
7:13
Create Your 8
7:14
was a solution
7:15
but what I did need to do was take myself out of the busyness of the day
7:20
and allow my mind to sort of free up
7:23
and look for inspiration all around me.
7:25
And know that
7:27
whatever solution I’m looking for it's going to come to me
7:30
and this is where in this
7:32
golden nugget, in the book, where Peal talks about, you know, problem solving,
7:36
he gives us 10 problem-solving techniques which
7:38
many of them I'm going to leave with.
7:40
The first one...
7:41
believe that for every problem there is a solution.
7:44
So yes, believe that your problem can be solved.
7:46
Yes it's hard, yes it's difficult, yes you don't have a solution right now
7:49
but there IS a solution.
7:50
And oftentimes there's more than one.
7:52
Two:
7:53
Try to maintain your serenity as you address a problem.
7:56
So, don't feel anxious,
7:58
don't try to... don't try to- to get angry
8:01
and say, ah you know I’m not getting this. I don't understand. No.
8:04
You need to be calm,
8:05
you need to be hopeful
8:07
that there's going to be a solution to this problem.
8:09
Number three:
8:10
Don't try to force an answer
8:12
more so don't try to say like,
8:13
Oh my God, I need an answer by Saturday at noon
8:16
if I don't get it by Saturday at noon then it's too late.
8:18
Sometimes you can't force it.
8:21
Life often happens for you.
8:23
And so you just need time
8:25
for that to reveal itself to you.
8:27
Number four, gather all relevant information.
8:29
Pretty simple.
8:30
Do as much research as possible.
8:32
Number five, write down all facts about the situation.
8:34
Again, get an understanding for the problem, what's going on.
8:38
You need to get clarity on the problem
8:39
so you can get clear on what solutions you need to solve it.
8:42
Number six:
8:43
Spend time praying about the issue you are confronting.
8:46
Listen, if you're praying about it, that's fine,
8:48
if you're not praying about it, maybe you're thinking about it.
8:50
Always make time to think about it.
8:52
When you're walking in nature
8:53
yes, take time to think in nature and allow your mind to flow
8:57
but when you separate yourself
8:58
from the stresses, the anxieties, the busyness of the day
9:00
allow your time to think about solutions.
9:03
Number seven,
9:04
believe in and seek God's guidance
9:06
on the promise of the 73rd Psalm:
9:09
Thou wilt guide me by thy counsel.
9:12
Again, if you believe in the religious aspect of that, that will talk to you.
9:16
That necessarily doesn't talk to me.
9:18
So I, I maybe won't be using that one.
9:21
Number eight, rely on your inner gifts of insight and intuition.
9:25
There's things that we believe we should do
9:28
and then there's things that we know we should be doing.
9:32
So you gotta listen to yourself
9:34
but it takes time, it takes...
9:35
it does take time, it takes patience, it takes some maturity
9:38
for you to realize what you're great at.
9:39
And sometimes you're doing something just to make a living,
9:41
just because it's my job, it's my career,
9:43
it's what I believe I'm great at.
9:46
But you have other gifts within you
9:48
that maybe you're not exploring yet, that you should be.
9:52
Number nine, attend religious services where you can
9:55
and listen peacefully and let your subconscious work on the problem.
9:58
Again you can go to church or you can just go for walks.
10:01
I love going for walks.
10:03
Period.
10:03
I’ll put music on my ears and allow myself to think.
10:05
Pretty simple.
10:06
Number ten, the answer that develops in your mind
10:09
or comes to pass is the right answer.
10:11
So, I just allowed the thoughts that came in my mind,
10:13
whenever I had a thought, an inspired thought I wrote it down on my phone.
10:16
Pulled up my phone, opened up the notepad and just wrote it down.
10:19
At the end of the day I would think about it, ponder on it
10:21
and say you know what this idea is something I want to go further into
10:24
and dig deeper into that.
10:25
That's exactly how this show happened,
10:27
that's exactly how Create Your 8 happened,
10:28
it's exactly how you're going to find solutions to your problems.
How To Handle Heartbreak
10:33
Last but not least, gold nugget number six:
10:35
How to handle heartache.
10:37
Now everybody at some point in their life experiences heartache
10:41
and it's tough.
10:44
And so Peal says, that for us to get over heartache
10:48
we need to resist the heartache by staying busy.
10:52
So if you're getting a divorce from your husband or your wife,
10:54
if you just broke up with your girlfriend or your boyfriend,
10:56
if you just lost a loved one,
10:59
if a loved one passed away,
11:01
a friend,
11:02
a family member,
11:03
doesn't matter who it is
11:06
he says that in order for you to get through it you need to stay busy,
11:08
you need to return to your normal activities
11:11
as soon as possible after a loss or a defeat.
11:14
And you need to resist the temptation to brood
11:16
and feel sorry for yourself.
11:20
I gotta get back to work,
11:22
I gotta get back to my goals, get back in the gym,
11:25
get back to eating right,
11:27
get back to hanging out with my friends, my family
11:28
listen to the music that I was listening to.
11:31
We have to return to life
11:35
but sometimes we just have to be sad
11:37
and we have to work our way through it.
11:39
But the key here is to not allow your mind to dwell on it for too long.
11:44
That's not handling heartache.
11:46
That's allowing heartache to take control of you
11:50
and to win.