Last Words from Coach Meg
It’s all well and good for coaches to help their clients

grow, change, and thrive. However, a coach’s integ-
rity depends on walking the walk, continually grow-
ing and learning, and, even better, to model thriving.

As we have explored throughout this manual, there
are many models and constructs for human thriving
and well-being. Let’s do a quick tour and consider
how coaches can use this manual’s lessons in order
to thrive themselves. Then we will leave you with a
provocative new model and a call to action.
In Chapter 1, we introduced self-determination
theory (Deci & Ryan, 2002), which is a model for
human thriving. A coach thrives if his or her needs
for autonomy, relatedness, and competence are met.
In Chapter 2, we explored key coaching skills that
underpin the evocative collaboration of coaching,

which supports the thriving of both coach and cli-
ent in the moment. Not only are clients energized

and inspired by a generative coaching session,
coaches are too. These are often the peak moments
in a coach’s work life. Chapter 3 helps coaches
consider new ways to fully engage and manifest
their strengths in coaching and beyond. New tools
for navigating and settling negative emotions are

explored in Chapter 4, and these are just as helpful
for coaches as for clients—learning to suffer well
and quickly fi nding the calm in an emotional storm.

In Chapter 5, we introduced the fi eld of positive psy-
chology, dedicated to studying what makes humans

thrive, mostly mentally. The fi eld’s founder, Martin
Seligman (2011), made a call to action for 51% of
the population to fl ourish by 2051, an increase from

around 20% of the population today, through pos-
itive emotions, engagement, better relationships,

and purpose beyond self. Coaches are leading the
way and inspiring their clients to do the same.
Digging out autonomous heartfelt motivation
and life force and pouring that motivational energy

into getting better, improving competence and con-
fi dence, explored in Chapter 6, is a recipe for thriv-
ing while changing and growing every day. Coaches

can do this by trying out new coaching tools or tak-
ing risks in coaching sessions. Chapter 7 explores

the characteristics of early stages of readiness to

change when people may feel stuck in chronic con-
templation. Coaches can recognize their personal

readiness quickly and stay focused on new habits
of mind and body that they are ready, willing, and
able to develop. They can set more intimidating
goals aside. There is no shortage of assessments of various aspects and constructs of well-being, a few
of which we introduced in Chapter 8 to help coaches

continually take stock and explore new opportuni-
ties to upgrade their own well-being.

Coaches benefi t from designing visions, goals,
and experiments as much as clients do. They can

model focused attention on a thoughtful future-
oriented, fl exible, and buttoned-down approach to

personal change, as we explore in Chapter 9. In

Chapters 10 and 11, in which we describe the pro-
cesses of coaching during sessions, we show how

clients design visions, goals, and fully unpack their
experience toward their goals. A key takeaway for

coaches is to work with a coach themselves on a reg-
ular basis in order to experience the creative gener-
ativity, shifts, and transformations in mindset that

happen consistently with a skilled coach.
Before we say goodbye, which is never easy even

when writing a book, we want to share a provoca-
tive new approach to thriving, and also to emotional

intelligence, mindfulness, and coaching, explored in

a published hypothesis paper: Coaching the Multiplic-
ity of Mind: A Strengths-Based Approach (Moore, 2013),

the basis for a book underway, which follows our fi rst

book Organize Your Mind, Organize Your Life (Hammer-
ness & Moore, 2011). No doubt this second edition of

the Coaching Psychology Manual will be out of date in
several years, and new constructs and research-based
coaching tools will be added to the next edition. In the

meantime, this model offers a new lens and contrib-
utes to a larger dialogue on what it means to thrive.

Human Thriving—Nine
Primary Capacities
The basis of the model is that the psyche is made up
of a set of discrete human needs, drives, or capacities

that manifest as sub-personalities, all together cre-
ating an ongoing inner dialogue and ever-changing

kaleidoscope of agendas and concerns. These capaci-
ties communicate their agendas via voices, emotions,

and physical sensations, continuously signaling
whether needs are being met or not. Thriving from
this perspective happens when we are able to decode

our genetically based needs and capacities, meet

those needs, and use the capacities as fully as pos-
sible. With that in mind, we describe nine primary

capacities that together contribute to human thriving.
These capacities won’t seem new or surprising, as we
have touched on the themes throughout this manual.
It’s a testament to the coaching fi eld that coaches
have integrated the major evidence-based themes
of human thriving into the coaching toolbox. The

summary that follows is adapted from an Inter-
national Coach Federation Coaching World article

titled “From Surviving to Thriving” (Moore, 2014).
Body Regulation

Along with all living organisms, humans have a pri-
mary need for a healthy and calm equilibrium of our

physiological systems—a need to move from chaos
to homeostasis over and over. As Stephen W. Porges
(2007) outlines in his polyvagal theory, our bodies
seek a balance of exertion with rest and recharge.
They strive for homeostasis, stability, safety, health,
and a robust autonomic nervous system, balancing
sympathetic (stress) and parasympathetic (rest and
recover) activity. Listening to the body’s signals tells
us when it’s time to calm the nervous system, which
calms the mind and improves brain function in the
short term and delays disease and early death in the
long term. Given the epidemics of lifestyle-related
chronic disease, the body regulator is a voice that is
getting drowned out by other needs described in the
following text. Coaches can help clients tune into their
“body intelligence,” learning to listen to basic needs
for balance, and physical energy and health (Gavin &
Moore, 2010) by encouraging them to pay attention
to the signals of the body within coaching sessions
through mindfulness and other practices of intention.
An existential question posed by this part of
our psyches is “Do I have the physical and other
resources I need to live fully?”
Autonomy
Psychologists Edward L. Deci and Richard M. Ryan
(2002), who have studied human motivation for
three decades, leading to their robust theory of self-determination, conclude that autonomy—the
drive to march to one’s own drummer—is the fi rst,
primary organismic need. To thrive, we need to be
authentic and author a life aligned with our values.
Autonomous motivation that taps into one’s life
force is not only a stand-alone force for thriving; it

is the type of motivation that enables elusive hab-
its, including healthy eating, exercise, and weight

loss and maintenance, to be sustained. It is a far
superior fuel source to external motivators, such as

incentives, prizes, or the fear-based “stick” of exter-
nal or internal critics. An existential question posed

by this part of our psyches is “Am I doing the right
things in my life, marching to my own drummer,
aligned with my heartfelt values?”
Making Meaning and Purpose
Clinical psychologist Paul Wong (2014) is one of the
most passionate spokespeople for the importance
of making meaning and purpose beyond oneself in
each moment, in each domain of life, and over the arc

of a lifetime. In his chapter, “Viktor Frankl’s Mean-
ing Seeking Model and Positive Psychology,” Wong

keeps alive the legendary psychiatrist and Holocaust
survivor’s story, as told in Man’s Search for Meaning
(Frankl, 2006). The story told is how an unshakable

purpose was essential to surviving four Nazi concen-
tration camps. A sense of a higher purpose is a potent

source of life fuel, especially when times are tough.
For example, a team of researchers at Chicago’s Rush
Alzheimer’s Disease Center and Rush University

Medical Center found that a sense of life pur-
pose signifi cantly improves cognitive function

in people with Alzheimer’s disease. Meanwhile,

Barbara Fredrickson and colleagues made scien-
tifi c headlines in 2013 with an experiment, now

repeated twice, which showed that people with a
low level of life purpose had three impaired gene
pathways in their immune systems, whereas people
with a high level of life purpose had healthy gene
expression of these three gene pathways. Our genes
may reward us for being connected to a cause larger
than ourselves by fi ghting off cold and fl u viruses

and other invaders that could make us ill. An exis-
tential question posed by this part of our psyches

is “Am I contributing to making the world a better
place in small or larger ways?”
Relationships

Serving others, taking care of others, being com-
passionate and kind, and at times choosing to put

the needs of others ahead of our own are important
sources of human thriving. Indeed, Deci and Flaste

(1996) identify relatedness as another innate psycho-
logical need. In Love 2.0: How Our Supreme Emotion

Affects Everything We Feel, Think, Do, and Become,
Fredrickson (2013) encourages us to “make love all
day long”; in other words, to infuse each moment
in another’s company with your full attention, your
head and heart in it together. In addition to simply
feeling good, sharing positive emotions with others
creates micro-moments of connection, which calm
the nervous system and improve brain function.
Over time, these micro-moments accumulate to help
delay disease and avoid early death. Compassion
for negative emotions experienced by ourselves and

others is a soothing balm. Just like crying babies, neg-
ative emotions need a warm, appreciative embrace

to settle and allow us to get on with our day. An exis-
tential question posed by this part of our psyches is

“Am I helping others meet their needs, channel their
drives, honor their values, and use their capacities,
also for concerns beyond self-interest?”
Confi dence and Competence
Confi dence—what Albert Bandura (1997) put on the
map as the psychological term “self-effi cacy”—is a
strong predictor of successful performance in work
goals and creating new health habits. As Henry Ford
stated, “Whether you think you can, or you think
you can’t—you’re right.” Deci and Ryan’s (2002)
self-determination theory identifi es competence as
one of three primary organismic needs, suggesting
that acquiring new knowledge and skills, applying
our chief strengths, and continually growing confi -

dence are all vital lifetime pursuits. A well-being-
focused coaching engagement or self-coaching pro-
cess can get us on the right track, instilling confi dence

in the ability to combine a full work and family life with a focus on self-care and well-being; this includes
exercising safely, cooking well, keeping a healthy
and stable weight, sleeping peacefully, and taming
the overwhelming frenzy brought on by a life switch
stuck in the “on” position. An existential question
posed by this part of our psyches is “Am I getting
better, more competent, and confi dent?”
Curiosity and New Experience Seeking

Psychologist Todd Kashdan (2012) asserts that curi-
osity is a primary driver of human well-being, writ-
ing, “When we experience curiosity, we are willing

to leave the familiar and routine and take risks,
even if it makes us feel anxious and uncomfortable.
Curious explorers are comfortable with the risks of

taking on new challenges. Instead of trying desper-
ately to explain and control our world, as a curious

explorer, we embrace uncertainty and see our lives
as an enjoyable quest to discover, learn, and grow.”
The primary need for new experiences to
explore, learn, and change is easy to see in curious
children but is often squashed by the demands of
adult life. This is an important capacity for adapting
to an ever-changing world: being ever-curious and
never taking anything for granted, including one’s
assumptions and beliefs. In fact, Kashdan notes that
declining curiosity is one of the important early
signs of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. Coaches
support clients in shifting to the perspective that

life is just one big set of experiments with unpre-
dictable outcomes. An existential question posed

by this part of our psyches is “Am I open and curi-
ous and engaged in life’s adventures?”

Creativity
We also quickly see in children a primary capacity

to be creative, generative, imaginative, and sponta-
neous, but these traits often seem out of reach for

adults, dealing with overscheduled days and over-
stretched minds. Creativity improves both mental

and physical health. It often works best when our
brains are unleashed to wander about, unplugged
from deadlines and goals. This part of us has fun

brainstorming, playing games, and being impul-
sive. When in full fl ight, it produces fl ow states that

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (2008) describes as key to
optimal well-being—those moments in which we
are enjoying an activity so much that we lose track

of time. Without undue effort, we execute the activ-
ity to the best of our abilities. While the workplace

is the best place for experiencing regular fl ow states,
most people do not let themselves enjoy fl ow states
every day because their minds are constrained by

overwhelming to-do lists and distractions. An exis-
tential question posed by this part of our psyches is

“Am I generative, coming up with new ideas and
possibilities to address life’s challenges?”
Executive Function
Thank goodness humans have a primary capacity
to be organized, to plan, to regulate emotions and
impulses, and stay on track to get through to-do
lists and meet goals. This capacity is highly polished
in the workplace (although often at the expense of
other capacities previously described). Those with

attention defi cits need to work harder to build self-
regulation skills and to learn to set aside disruptive

emotions, impulses, and distractions so that they get
the important things done. Executive function gets
a powerful boost when people tame their emotional
frenzy, exercise regularly, sleep well, and eat a healthy
diet. An existential question posed by this part of our
psyches is “Am I doing things right or well?”
Standard Setting
As the most social animals on the planet, humans
share a primary need for approval, appreciation,
validation, and fair treatment by others. No man
is an island. We want to be accepted and valued by
our family, friends, colleagues, and communities.
This capacity allows us to set the bar or standard, to
set goals for our performance, and then to evaluate
and judge that performance in ourselves and others
across all domains of life, from getting good grades
at school to dying well. “Am I good enough?” it asks.
At its worst, this capacity is diffi cult to please. It
can be an inner critic, scanning for fl aws and faults,
or a perfectionist, ever raising the bar. Sadly, a
recent study reported that only 11% of women over
the age of 50 report satisfaction with their bodies (Runfola et al., 2013), their inner critics depleting
their self-esteem every time they look in a mirror.
At its best, the inner standard setter is accepting

and content, setting the bar to challenge perfor-
mance while adopting a learning mindset when

performance falls short. This state of contentment

is diffi cult for many to fi nd in an achievement-ori-
ented culture and 24/7 pace. An existential ques-
tion posed by this part of our psyches in addition

to “Am I good enough” is “Am I doing enough?”
When humans welcome, appreciate, and honor
all of these discrete and often confl icting needs and
agendas, the inner ambivalence and confl icts can
settle, even if just a little, bringing more thriving
and equanimity. Coaches can help people accept
and advocate for all parts of themselves, discover
underused capacities, and strive to meet more of
their needs more of the time.

The Call for Coaches
In closing, the fi eld of health and wellness coaches,

and all health professionals who are applying coach-
ing skills, face an enormous task ahead—that of

improving the thriving, mental and physical, of the
human race. Roughly 20% of adults are thriving today,
so there is a long way to go (Kobau, Sniezek, Zack,
Lucas, & Burns, 2010). Unleashing human thriving is
the life calling, the higher purpose, for a whole new
generation of the thousands of health and wellness
coaches we aim to teach and inspire throughout this
manual. A small army of health and wellness coaches
has emerged in the past decade to focus on unleashing
positive mental and physical well-being and making

a dent in the epidemics of chronic disease and obe-
sity. We need all hands on deck—not only coaches but

anyone who wants to join this effort. Let’s thrive fi rst,
and then help everyone we touch get there, too.
Onward and upward.
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