discuss these strategies in great detail --- 
12:52
him it doesn't have any problems does
12:55
it bad move because this is extremely
12:58
easy for him to say no When in fact this
13:02
iPhone is a walk-in red flag because
13:04
what this does is it implies the wrong
13:06
assumption it implies there's nothing
13:08
wrong with the phone because everyone
13:11
defines having problems as different
13:13
remember what we said about questions
13:15
being spotlights in point three also
13:17
remember they dictate our inferences and
13:19
perceptions so if you want to find out
13:21
whether this phone is worth buying
13:23
assume it has problems instead of asking
13:26
it doesn't have any problems does it you
13:28
assume it has problems and you say what
13:30
problems does the phone have and the
13:32
interesting thing about questions that
13:34
assume the presence of problems is they
13:36
do not diminish Rapport and especially
13:38
when we ask questions like this in a
13:40
negotiation or a situation that elicits
13:43
such questions is they dictate how
13:45
assertive and inquisitive we're going to
13:46
be from the get-go and how steadfast
13:49
we're going to be in wanting to get to
13:51
the truth avoid assum in the absence of
13:54
issues if you're ending a speech or a
13:56
presentation don't say you don't have
13:58
any questions do you instead ask what
14:01
questions do you have and one more
14:03
example that will be a godsend for you
14:04
the next time you go to view a property
14:06
or rent your first apartment is don't
14:08
ask the landlord who's touring you round
14:11
how are the neighbors because they will
14:12
easily respond with yeah they're okay no
14:15
problems at all again assume there's an
14:17
issue ask have previous tenants
14:19
complained about noise levels in the
14:21
past before we summarize I wanted to
BONUS TIP
14:23
give you one last bonus tip that's just
14:25
come into my mind there's one more
14:26
question that you can ask to people with
14:29
especially of higher authority to you
14:31
that will enable you to soften them up
14:33
to your influence could you give me some
14:36
advice on whatever it is you want to ask
14:38
them advice about advice is a great way
14:41
to soften people up to your influence
14:44
there was a study conducted at Harvard
14:45
University where they got a group of
14:47
people to sit down and answer quiz type
14:50
questions such as can you define this
14:52
word or who was the first president of
14:54
the United States but they got another
14:56
group of people to send text messages to
14:59
the people taking the quiz but the type
15:01
of messages that were sent were very
15:03
different some messages included texts
15:05
such as hey keep going or you're doing a
15:07
great job but the last type of message
15:10
was hey you got any advice on this
15:12
question and what the results showed was
15:14
the people who asked for advice were
15:16
seen as more competent a bit
15:18
counterintuitive this isn't it but it's
15:21
because of how advice makes people feel
15:24
when we ask someone for advice it
15:26
signals one thing it shows that we
15:28
already hold this person in high regard
15:32
because after all why would you want
15:33
their advice if you didn't already hold
15:35
them in high regard being asked for
15:37
advice Strokes our ego so if you're
15:39
entering a job position for the first
15:41
time or you're in a social situation
15:43
where someone has higher authority than
15:46
you and you want to get them on your
15:47
side simply ask them for advice but
15:51
beware don't ask people for advice on
15:53
things they don't know because this will
15:56
just make them look even stupider and
15:58
number two don't ask for advice on
16:00
something you could easily search up
16:02
this will just be a waste of the
16:04
person's time and the interesting
16:06
psychological insight we get from advice
16:08
is that flattery is too direct where we
16:11
over compliment someone they can tell
16:14
we're just trying to get a leg up on
16:15
them advice however is subtle because of
16:18
what it implies what this technique
16:20
encapsulates is the first law of the 48
16:22
Laws of Power never outshine the master
16:25
don't enter a new job trying to
16:27
outperform and outshine all of those who
16:30
are in higher authority than you because
16:33
you will trigger their ego and you'll
16:35
slowly descend into the lower Peck in
16:37
order in summary number one ask
Summary & outro rizz
16:39
follow-up questions that signal care and
16:42
interest towards the other person take
16:44
the conversational bait of the
16:46
underlying material they are hinting at
16:48
in the things that they say by following
16:50
up what they're saying by asking them
16:53
more about it also use the echo
16:55
technique where you repeat their words
16:56
back to them I'm really looking forward
16:57
to the weekend oh you're looking forward
16:59
to the weekend what are you most excited
17:01
about number two start safe then build
17:03
remember people will only self-disclose
17:06
if they have done so previously so if
17:08
you want to build deeper connection or
17:10
Intimacy in the conversation you're
17:11
having with someone create a safe space
17:13
in the conversation and then gradually
17:16
increase the intensity of the questions
17:18
you ask to probe in more depth number
17:21
three deflect difficulty when you're
17:23
having a conversation and someone asks
17:25
you a question you don't want to answer
17:27
remember if you outright refuse to
17:30
answer that question it will only make
17:32
the material of the missing answer more
17:34
important and valuable so respond to the
17:38
question with a question relevant to the
17:40
topic that their question was hinting at
17:43
keep the conversation flowing in that
17:45
direction until they forget about the
17:47
question and then you change topic
17:49
number four avoid assumptions about the
17:51
wrong thing if you want to find out if
17:53
something has problems such as buying
17:55
something on the Internet don't ask
17:57
there aren't any problems with it are
17:59
there because you're assuming that there
18:01
aren't any problems allowing the person
18:03
to sidestep the question just by saying
18:06
no absolutely not instead assume the
18:09
presence of problems by asking what
18:11
problems does it have bonus ask people
18:14
of higher authority than you for advice
18:17
not on things they don't know about and
18:20
not on things you could easily search up
18:22
likely things that are going to stroke
18:24
their ego in order to have more
18:26
influence over them and create better
18:28
social harmony I'm currently reading
18:30
everything I can about social skills in
18:32
order to give you the most valuable
18:33
information about how to make sure that
18:35
you socialize with poise so I've got a
18:37
book that I'm going to be writing and
18:38
I'm going to be making some courses and
18:40
soon there is going to be the knock
18:41
Academy an online community of
18:43
like-minded people coming together to
18:45
mentally flourish and socialize with
18:47
poise stay tuned for that stay
18:49
disciplined playful I need a pocket
18:52
there and dangerous adios Muchachos
18:55
Muchachos