Hypnotic Rapport & New “Magnetic 
Charisma” Techniques 
Igor: 
All right, everyone. Welcome back again. Did you enjoy the morning 
session in terms of just opening your eyes up to how people move and 
behave and their body language and so on? Just to emphasize, in terms 
of unconscious signals, these things can mean a lot of different things. 
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We’re going to look at some of the very robust ones that you can actually 
use now.  
The most important thing right now is can you observe these things 
happening? During the break, for example, did you notice people more 
fully? Did you notice their movements? Did you notice how they were 
standing? How they would hold themselves in relation to you or in relation 
to other people? If you can start just observing those things, even if it’s in 
piecemeal, like okay, I’m going to focus on legs and feet today or arms 
and hands or torso, head, shoulder and that sort of stuff, it begins to 
sensitize you.  
That’s really all we need for the purposes of what we’re going to be doing 
here in conversational hypnosis. Does that make sense? So don’t think 
that you have to do something to get into this whole, I must know what it 
all means and so on. Is it useful? Absolutely. Do you need it for what we’re 
doing here? No. It’s enough to get a general sense of where they’re at and 
notice that someone is making shifts, changes. Make sense? 
Those changes will alert you to what’s going on. It will make more sense 
as we go into the more conversational hypnosis. The key thing here is, 
can you observe changes, and can you observe them specifically? It’s not 
like something changed, but I don’t know what it was. You can say, "Oh, 
his leg moved. " And you can show that sort of thing. 
As a rule of thumb, which part of the body do you think is the most 
honest? Legs, eyes, face, feet, pupils? As a rule of thumb, actually it’s the 
leg. The further away it is from the face, the more honest it tends to be. 
Why? Because it’s more unconscious. We’ve been socialized. You go to 
Auntie Ethel Beard, who has a full beard, you’re a little five-year old, you 
have to kiss her on the face, and you’re like, I won’t do it.  
What do your parents say? Well, put a brave face on. Smile at your aunt. 
So we put this big smile on and say, "Hello Auntie Ethel, it’s so nice to see 
you." We’re socializers. 
So whilst all these signals are unconscious, the thing to realize is we can 
consciously interfere with them as well. If we know that hand wringing is a 
sign of tension – which, by the way, it is – then you find yourself doing this 
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in an interview. All right, I must put my hands down and relax them. We 
can interfere with the signal. Does that make sense? 
The thing is though, if you interfere in one area, it will pop out somewhere 
else, like in the legs or something like that. Does that make sense to you 
all? So as a rule, the legs and feet will be the most honest. Then there’s 
the torso, arms and hands and finally it will be the face and the head 
because that’s what we’re most used to putting a social veneer over, shall 
we say. 
Having said that, the face and specifically the eyes – like a lot of you were 
saying – have a lot of very valuable information. It’s very important. The 
way we navigate through the world is through our senses, but we’re also 
navigating through a social world.  
In order to understand how the world works, unless you’re living alone in 
the jungle, in which case it’s just whatever you project onto that jungle, as 
soon as other people come in, you need to have a relationship with them. 
Whether it’s 'the' relationship or it’s a relationship of friendship or any other 
kind of relationship, you are relating to those people at some level. It’s part 
of being a social animal. 
So what we end up doing is we send out these little signals, very subtle 
signals. I like to call them pings, like a submarine sonar device, and that 
little ping, to get a message back so you get a sense of what’s going on 
right now. You walk into a room and start acting weirdly, what do people 
do? They give you a social signal that you’re misbehaving, that you’re 
awkward or that they’re being distrustful in some way because maybe 
you’re on drugs or something like that. 
These are the social signals, the stigmas, that we’re afraid of when we do 
something a little bit more outrageous. We’re afraid of violating that social 
code. Does that make sense to you? So these signals are very, very 
important because they let us know what’s real and what’s not real. Of 
course, it’s real in the hypnotic sense. It’s real because we believe it to be 
real. It can be by the constraint and it can be something that enhances us 
in terms of society and so on.  
There is a specific signal that I think is incredibly important, and I really 
don’t know why more people don’t talk about this. It’s relatively well written 
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about in the academia. It’s a universal signal that is something you’ll see, 
basically, in every culture around the world, except one, and that’s 
because they suppress it on purpose. We’ll talk about that in a moment.  
It is a signal that you’ll see in colonies of monkeys and apes. So it’s a 
mammalian signal. It basically separates us and them. It is a signal that 
says, you’re one of us, or are you one of us? Presenting the signal at the 
right time begins that pinging process where people get to test each other 
out unconsciously to find out is this person a friend or a potential threat? 
Would you like to learn what the signal is and how to use it? Or shall we 
go back to our coloring books? 
Before we get into the signal, there’s something very important, which is, 
there are different kinds of people out there in the world in terms of who 
you may want to have an interaction with. And the signal is not magic. In 
other words, it will work with some and not with others, and I’ll show you 
what I mean by that.  
There’s a group of people out there, believe it or not, who are totally and 
utterly oblivious to you. They don’t even notice you. Unless you do 
something to draw attention to yourself, they don’t even see you. So all 
the signaling in the world will do absolutely no good at all. You can’t start 
the pinging process unless they’re actually aware of you. 
If you’re walking in a crowd, the only way they’re going to be made aware 
of you is if you do something to grab attention in some way. So the 
oblivious people can be converted in some ways. We’ll talk about some 
sneaky ways of doing that if you want.  
As a rule, unless they’re somehow like half aware of you, there is no 
interaction going on at that level, as long as you perform within social 
boundaries. As soon as you break social boundaries, it pulls awareness. 
Other people’s awareness will pull their awareness and so it goes in that 
direction. Do you see how that works? 
Remind me later to talk to you about how to make oblivious people aware 
of you.    
The second type of people you’ll come across, I’ll call these open. These 
are people, who don’t know you but are open to knowing you. I other 
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words, you’re walking down the street and you will exchange signals. 
They’ll test - do I know this person well enough to stop and have a chat? 
They don’t know they’re doing this. It’s not a conscious thing. Some 
people are more open than others, of course. In other words, they may 
actually actively seek to engage with you.  
Other people will be more reserved. They’re open to an interaction, but 
they don’t know you. So they’re not entirely oblivious to you. They’re kind 
of half oblivious to you. They walk in their own little private trance, but as 
soon as there’s a signal of that whole rapport pinging process starting up, 
they’ll go, oh, all right, sure. Make sense?  
There’s a third type of people. These are a lot tougher to work with, 
although there is something you can do here as well. They are specifically 
closed for whatever reason. For example, they may not like you. They 
may know you and they may not like you, and they may not want to know 
you. It happens. Not to me, but it happens.  
Other examples of this might be an attractive woman in a nightclub or a 
bar will tend to be more closed. Why? Because people are constantly 
coming up to her, do you see how that works? A reverse situation, of 
course, if you are a celebrity, for example, male or female. Again, they 
tend to be more closed in certain circumstances because they don’t want 
people coming in crowding them. In other circumstances, they have to be 
open because otherwise they’ll get bad press. Do you see how that whole 
thing works? 
So in terms of closed individuals, let’s think more about people who are 
either personally so inhibited that they’re afraid of making contact with 
others. For whatever reason they already don’t like you, either because 
they know you already or they made a prejudgment about you. Or, the 
social circumstances dictate that they put a barrier up between 
themselves and other people; otherwise, they’ll get swamped by attention 
that they don’t know or don’t know how to cope with. Does that make 
sense? Those tend to be the three reasons why people are closed.  
Finally, we have the group of people who – I’ll call these active people. 
They’re actively seeking to engage you in some way. It might be because 
they’re trying to sell you something. It might be because they know you 
and they’re friends and they’re just being friendly. It might be just that – 
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you find these people – they’re friendly, social people who just chat to 
strangers because they like doing it.  
As a rule, these are the four basic scenarios, you’ll fit into. Active people 
are very easy to engage with. Why? Because they’ll find you, in fact, 
sometimes ignoring eye contact is not enough. Closed people are harder 
to work with, precisely because they’re closed.  
As a rule, the way to work with closed people is you have to break their 
patterns. It’s a loop. There’s a pattern. Their minds are spinning through 
their patterns, and whilst that’s active it’s very difficult to get inside.  
The simplest way of opening up closed people is through; you stimulate 
part of the brain called the amygdala. The amygdala is part of the 
emotional center and attention centers, and essentially it decides should 
you panic or should you feel bliss right now. Should you be happy or fear? 
It’s a primitive part of the brain. I think its part of the mammalian brain if 
I’m correct. I’m not sure. 
What the amygdala does is it shuts down with increasing intensity the 
neocortex, which is the thinking part of the brain. It breaks your thinking 
loops. One of the ways to activate the amygdala is with mind bending 
language. It’s great for that, but not something we’ll cover here. Humor is 
fantastic.  
Have you ever noticed how a joke at the right time totally transforms a 
situation? Why? The amygdala is primed, it’s triggered, by the unexpected 
shocks, surprises, etc. Are you beginning to understand what we did 
yesterday a little bit more now?  
It’s the amygdala being triggered, which short circuits the neocortex, the 
normal thinking loops, which allows you to present different ideas that are 
accepted and become the new reality. In instant induction, of course, it’s 
called trance. Does that make sense to you? So the amygdala can be 
triggered with anything that causes surprise. Humor works on this. There 
is no joke that does not cause surprise. Otherwise, it’s called a bad joke. 
It’s true, isn’t it? 
Other ways would be surprise. For example, by stepping out of the social 
norms, breaking expectation, pattern interrupt. The classic pattern 
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interrupt, of course, is the handshake. Someone comes up, you try to 
shake hands and then you refuse, and they go, what’s going on? 
Depending on what happens at that point, will trigger either fight or flight.  
They’ll either get angry because they feel that they’ve been taken 
advantage of in some way, or they’ll smile and laugh because the pattern 
interrupt has been amusing in some way. With closed people, you need to 
break the pattern. You somehow trigger the amygdala and surprise, the 
unexpected is your route into doing that.  
Open people. This is people in their little private trances who don’t seek to 
disengage and aren’t seeking to actively engage either. That’s probably 
the greater part or the majority of people out there. Open people will 
respond to a cycle of that sort of popping. It’s like a little social ritual that 
happens unconsciously. Every human being has their own unique way of 
greeting someone else. Some will tip their heads, some will smile and 
some will shake hands. Those are all idiosyncrasies.  
I don’t know if this is a fact, but I know there used to be a great hypnotist 
out there called Dave Dobson. Have you heard of the 'unconscious hello'? 
I believe this is what the unconscious hello is, but I can’t say because I 
never saw him do it or seen someone else do it, but I believe what it 
essentially is as you meet someone, you reflect back onto them whatever 
nonverbal behavior they’re making as part of the greeting gesture. Hence, 
it feels like, oh, great, there’s a friend coming my way.  
Note it happens before the formal greeting, the formal touching of hands in 
the Western sense, or they give you the formal bow in the Eastern sense. 
It happens before all that. The evaluation has already occurred at that 
point. Does that make sense?  
Something happens before even that, something that allows that whole 
ritual to even begin. You can try this if you want. If you’re sitting in a 
restaurant and you’re looking around the room – I’ve tried it. They ignore 
you. They think that’s a little weird. Why? Because you’re not reflecting 
back onto them they’re greeting behavior.  
You can’t engage the greeting behavior unless you trigger it somehow. 
You’ve got to fit the greeting so they can engage that whole process so 
you have something worth reflecting back. Do you see how that works? 
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Would you like to know how to engage that greeting behavior? It’s so 
easy, it’s unreal. Most of you have done it already and didn’t even know it. 
I was kind of hoping that someone might spot this during the exercise 
earlier on. It’s so unconscious that most people don’t know it’s happening, 
but once you know what it is, it’s impossible to ignore. It’s called the 
eyebrow flash.  
Essentially, when two people that know each other meet, they’ll do 
something like this. Their eyebrows will raise. Typically, a smile will end up 
in the corners of their eyes as well. It’s not 100% correlated, but it’s a very 
typical add-on. Monkeys do this, apes do this and human beings do this 
whenever they meet someone, that’s part of the pack. Think about it.  
How many times have you walked down the street and someone goes like 
this and you go, "Me? Hi!" Of course, they’re waving to someone behind 
you. 
What you’re not responding to is this? Do you see how that’s very 
different? I’m putting on a little bit of poker face on purpose, versus this. 
Do you feel the difference? Do you see how it’s a lightening of the 
expression? The smile happens to be part of it as a result. As they’re 
lifting the eyebrow, that engages the greeting behavior.  
At that point, someone else will typically do the typical behavior. They 
might go like this, or they might go like this. It doesn’t matter what it is. The 
point is you’ve set the pattern going, so now you have a stage approach. 
Please understand that when I say flash, I don’t mean in the tradition 
sense. None of that please. It will get attention, but not the kind you’re 
looking for. 
So when you have the eyebrow flash, it engages the greeting behavior, 
and as soon as you get the greeting behavior, you can mirror it, as they 
call it, or reflect that behavior back onto them. That kind of solidifies it. 
They go, great, I somehow know this person. I feel close to this person 
somehow. Do you see how that works? 
You have to somehow trigger the greeting behavior so you have 
something worth reflecting back. Now if you do nothing but this – if you 
want to try this, feel free to do this. Go sit downstairs in the lobby for an 
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hour and do nothing but when someone comes in, you don’t have to put 
the hand up, you just go like this. I’m teasing. Come on up. You’ll be 
amazed how many new friends you make. People will come up to you and 
they’ll go, "Hi, how do I know you?"  
They’re responding to the eyebrow flash. They’re responding to the 
behavior - I’m part of this pack. I’m part of this group. Does that make 
sense? Go ahead. 
Audience: Might that be misinterpreted though. I don’t know if somebody’s like this. 
Igor: 
Yes, thank you so much. Did you all catch that? This is what the question 
mark is here about. This is, by the way, why there’s one country, in which 
the eyebrow flash is actually suppressed. If you do this in one particular 
country – and I’ll reveal the secret shortly – it will be taken as a crude 
sexual gesture, and you’ll be treated accordingly, either with great delight 
or great frustration, depending on if they like you or not. 
The country, by the way, is Japan. In Japan, eyebrow flashes are 
considered sexual. So it’s suppressed, although they still use them. The 
only people that eyebrow flashes are culturally acceptable with are 
children and very close friends. In the rest of the world, as far as I know – 
and this is people in jungles in Borneo and Africa or in Berlin and New 
York and everywhere – the eyebrow flash is a standard greeting behavior.  
There’s a difference though, and this is why it’s very, very important that 
we start with something before the eyebrow flash. You see, your eyebrows 
do more than just lift and return. They’re very expressive. For example, if I 
just lift one eyebrow or the extended eyebrow flash, which is really what 
you’re asking about, do you notice how it’s something very different from 
my doing this to my doing this? 
Do you see the difference? It’s still my eyebrows lifting; however, there’s a 
difference, in the quality of them lifting and my expression that goes with it. 
That creates a different suggestion and atmosphere. 
Eyebrow flashes in most cultures that I’ve come across can also be 
sexual. They can also be invasive. Typically, in a conversation, people will 
lift their eyebrows when they want the other person to answer a question. 
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Do you see what I mean? So eyebrows mean more than one thing. It’s the 
quality of the eyebrow.  
The context, then the quality and the expressions that go with it that will 
define it, whether it’s a greeting ping or something else. Just like maybe a 
submarine might have different tones to distinguish between different 
types of things. I don’t know if they do or not, you get the analogy. 
It’s very important that we do something before we engage in the greeting 
behavior or the greeting ping, the eyebrow flash, in order to ensure that it’s 
taken the right way. That it’s not a sexual signal, it’s not an aggressive 
signal. Although I’m not sure if that’s particular aggressive, but it’s not 
misunderstood.  
This is where your H+ comes in again. This thing here I like to call the 
inner smile. It’s kind of charming, isn’t it? You may have noticed that you 
spent some time today reminding people of people that they feel close to 
or connected to. Not in a sexual way, just in a friendship sort of way. Make 
sense?  
The reason for that is because state drives behavior. Your emotions drive 
your behavior. If you’re looking at someone and you go, "Whoa, I like that 
person.", it will change the quality of the eyebrow flash and it will be taken 
as a sexual come on. If you don’t know the person and you feel a little 
inhibited and you do your eyebrow flash, it will come off as incongruent. 
What’s this person doing? I don’t trust that person.  
There’s something weird about them. They may not even notice the 
eyebrow flash because believe me, very few people do. You got flashed, 
believe it or not, quite a lot today, but especially when you were doing that 
last exercise when you were looking for the eyes and lips.  
You still didn’t see it, right? It’s that unconscious. Yet it occurred at least 
half the time. It occurred when people were being friendly. It occurred 
virtually all the time when they’re really going into the role, but you still did 
not see it because it’s unconscious. 
So, we need to make sure that the state that we are in has none of these, 
shall we say, contaminating desires or intentions that would otherwise 
signal the wrong thing. Does that make sense to you? 
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So here’s what we’re going to do in terms of an exercise. I’d like for you to 
experience this for yourself in a fun sort of way. We’re going to split 
yourselves into four groups. Can the front two or so rows go into this 
corner for me? Two and a half rows maybe. Then we’ll have another 
group over there by the tables, a third group by the water table there, and 
a fourth group over here.  
Just make it roughly equal numbers and turn your attention towards me, 
and I’ll show you a very cool exercise that you’ll enjoy. Just split 
yourselves up into groups.  
In a moment, we’re going to go through the mingling exercise again. You 
are free and welcome to say hello and meet and greet anyone in this 
room, anyone at all. Same group, different group, it doesn’t really matter. I 
would like for you to pay attention to two things. To how you feel when you 
meet these people and what expressions you’re seeing in terms of what 
body language you’re getting.  
This group over here, mostly gentlemen, but one or two ladies, I’d like for 
you all to be totally poker faced when meeting people. You can do 
everything expressively with your body that you want. You can be friendly, 
social and very nice, so nice to meet you. It’s really nice to see you. But 
your expression should be as deadpan as possible.  
Do you think you can do that with every single person, no expression? It’s 
like someone switched off your face, and all you can do is speak, you can 
be social, you can be nice, but be as deadpan as possible.  
The next group, you all over here, you’re going to be cool. You’re going to 
do the inner smile. Inside of you, I want you all to think of people you really 
like, people you’re really connected to, and just feel that. Whatever you 
do, whenever you meet people, just make sure you keep feeling that 
feeling as you’re meeting them. That’s all. Easy to do?  
You all, yes, you’ll like this. You all are the flashers. Please do not take 
any clothes off. The only parts of you I’d like to see flashing will be your 
eyebrows. Again, try to keep a neutral state so that literally the eyebrows 
are doing the thing, and just be normal, social, whatever it is.  
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The only thing you’re doing differently is you’re making a concerted effort 
to raise your eyebrows – and this is important – before you touch the other 
person’s hand or anything like that. In other words, the minute you see 
someone, those eyes go up. Simple, good.  
The final group over here, you all are going to have something very 
interesting to do. I’d like you all too just mirror the other person’s behavior. 
If you find it difficult keeping track of everything, the main things, the usual 
suspects and the big ones are head tilt – that’s a big one. It includes 
things like nodding behaviors so there’s rhythm and movement involved.  
Of course, the eyebrows are going to be a big one, and the lips. Eyes, lips, 
head are going to be the big ones you’re going to get information from, but 
it might be shoulders. It might be arms as well. It might be the legs. There 
might be a torso tilt. Some people give a little bow as they meeting 
someone. It’s just part of their greeting behavior.  
Whatever you do, you can meet them in a normal way, whatever you 
normally do, but as soon as you see their body language, I just want you 
to mimic it slightly or in a casual way. So it’s not like you’re going, I am 
now mirror man, which is very odd. The idea is to be very casual. You’re 
just going to have a little gesture there so it’s a natural movement to you.  
Does that make sense?  
If you have difficulty keeping track of everything that these people are 
doing, the usual suspects, the big three are eyes, lips, head tilt. Easy? All 
right, everyone?  
I want you to spend a few minutes now just meeting everyone in the room, 
and just noticing how you feel about meeting different people. If you wish 
to, at the end of the interaction ask them which of the four types they were 
so that you can get a sense of how meeting different types of people has 
affected you. Off you go.  
All right, folks, so as the last few people are sitting down, how was the 
exercise did you find it interesting? Do you want to come up? 
Audience: May favorite were the eyebrow people. I thought it would be disconcerting, 
but it’s very warm.  
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Igor: 
Was that whole sexual thing an issue at all? 
Audience: Not at all. It felt just very welcoming.  
Igor: 
Right. This is weird, you know, its coming, you know, it’s a manipulation. 
Well, not really, because people like making contact. The point is even 
though, you know, its coming, it’s an instinctive reaction, isn’t it? Our 
brains recognize the signals because our brains give these signals. So we 
can’t help but have that same sort of reaction.   
Now can you imagine – I’ll come to you in a second. Can you imagine 
doing this in a restaurant or in hotel lobby? If nothing else, just doing the 
eyebrow flash at the right time, and then we’ll add some behavior on top of 
that to enrich it. You’ll make more friends than you can count. They’ll go, "I 
don’t know this person, but oh my God, it’s like we knew each other 
forever."   
Audience: The pale faced fellows just felt so lifeless and dead. 
Igor: 
So this is the poker faced guys, right? 
Audience: Yeah, the poker faced guys. They were just so dead. It’s like; I don’t even 
want to talk to this person crawl out of your coffin, please. 
Igor: 
Right. Part of this is when people don’t like this, especially in a social 
setting, they’ll school their expression. They’ll be very reserved. It’s hard to 
read people. We feel insecure around them and so on. That’s part of what 
you’re experiencing there. It’s part of the signals of distrust or dislike. Does 
that make sense? 
Audience: Yes. 
Igor: 
So, we do not want to be poker faced when meeting people. Why? 
Because it doesn’t fit the social context. It’s actually giving the wrong 
signals out. Does that make sense? Thank you. Go ahead. 
Audience: Well, I was going to comment both about the inner smile and the eyebrow 
groups. The eyebrow group without that inner emotion, it was quite 
affecting. Like one person, I actually just completely turned away from. I 
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was like, whoa, a complete threat. It was just very interesting all the 
confused signals you got amongst all of them.  
It was also funny that, with being the inner smile myself, that when you go 
up to someone with it, even people that weren’t part of the group, you 
could see the inner smile come out on them too. Suddenly, it just 
completely changed what they were doing in the first place. 
Igor: 
Audience:  
Igor: 
Right. You notice when she’s talking about the inner smile, did you notice 
her eyebrow flash in the middle of that? That’s why we do it. That’s why 
we have it. That’s why it’s called the instant rapport technique. It’s really 
the inner smile. It kicks into gear our own greeting mechanism, and we 
can’t help but do it. So thank you. That’s an excellent observation. Go 
ahead. 
♦ For the inner smile, were those the people who were flashers; 
or something else entirely? 
No. The inner smile is, you think of a person that you’re connected to. It 
could be a parent, a child, your children or a good friend. It might even be 
a pet, someone that you feel an emotional connection to, not a sexual 
one, but an emotional one.  
All you do is, as you approach people, you maintain that feeling inside 
yourself.  
Audience: So the key is to be able to summon that at will. 
Igor: 
The key is being able to summon that emotion at will, exactly right. 
Because that creates the emotional context, which will drive the behavior. 
Which is the eyebrow flash. Which will put the behavior in a correct 
context so the other people can actually read the signals congruently, as 
opposed to the mixed signals that she was referring to. 
Audience: So then all of the things being equal, the same eyebrow flash, whether 
given from that positive state that we should learn how to summon or 
given without it can have markedly different responses from the other 
person? 
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Igor: 
Does that answer your question? 
Audience: Yes.  
Igor: 
Thank you. 
Audience: The last thing is we’re doing this with people that we’re meeting for the 
first time. We’re trying to simulate that here in this room.  
♦ What about doing this with people that we see in the 
workplace on a regular basis? 
Igor: 
You’ll do this automatically. Do you want to know who likes and dislikes 
you at work? Yes? When you walk into work and say, "Hi, John.", "Hi, 
Jack." and so on, watch their eyebrows, seriously. The people that actually 
like you will go, "Hey, Jack.", "Hey, John." The people that don’t like you 
will go like this.  
Nothing in this world is 100% guaranteed, but this is about as close to a 
cast iron guarantee as you can get.  
Audience: It’s almost as if the first time you meet someone, it’s almost like a cast has 
been set.  
Igor: 
Yes. The first time you meet someone there’s a lot of research that shows 
that the first impression people have, their first opinion they form about 
something becomes very difficult to change subsequently. It can be 
changed. Absolutely, but it requires more effort.  
Once you set that initial eyebrow flash, the unconscious is, basically, 
saying you’re part of my group, you’re part of the pack, you’re accepted. 
The unconscious mind expects that so it acts accordingly.  
I’ll give you an example, if I may. Some years ago, I was at – funny 
enough – hypnosis training. There was a lady, who for some reason 
reminded me of my grandmother. There was just something about her. I 
couldn’t get it out of my head. Consciously, I did nothing and had no 
interaction with her. I didn’t talk to her or anything like that.  
At the first break, she comes up to me and says, "Hi, have you been to 
this course before? Have we met before? I just feel so familiar." By the 
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way, this is what turned me on to the idea of the inner smile, or what we 
used to call the instant rapport technique. That’s what turned me onto it. It 
was my feelings – she looked like my grandmother.  
My feelings changed my sub-communications, my unconscious signals, 
and she responded to them. It was that initial moment – because I didn’t 
make eye contact with her at the time.  
Maybe I did something funky with my shoulder, I don’t know, but really it 
was just that one moment of recognition. Then I went, that’s weird, and 
carried on with what I was doing and just sat there quietly listening to the 
seminar or whatever. She came right up to me. So that first moment can 
have a huge impact. Does that make sense? 
Audience: Absolutely. 
Igor: 
That’s why we want to do this before the hand touches the hand and the 
handshake in the Western sense, or in the more Eastern sense, the more 
formal bow and so on. Why? Because as you’re approaching the person, 
they are evaluating you. It happens before the handshake, which is why a 
lot of the rapport techniques are problematic because by the time they get 
to using them, it’s already happened or it hasn’t.  
Does that mean that you can’t shift things around? Of course, you can. 
There’s a lot of scope with this stuff, but the pattern has already been 
initiated. It’s more effort to move the river once it’s flowing than before it 
comes out of the shoot. Does that make sense to you? Does that answer 
your question? 
Audience: Yes. 
Igor: 
Thank you. Those were a great set of questions. Let me just go over here, 
and then I’ll come back to you. Do some of you want to come this way? 
No, you can stay there, that’s fine. It feels unbalanced, like I’m pulled this 
way. 
Audience: We don’t want you to feel unbalanced. 
Igor: 
Thank you. See, there’s a reason I like you.  
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Audience: I was noticing with some people that their facial expressions and the way 
they held their bodies was almost choreographed, while other people were 
given the assignment and it felt natural.  
♦ What’s the distinguishing characteristic between the 
choreographed? 
Igor: 
Did you all notice it as well? Some people looked more unnatural than 
others? Some looked like they were forcing the behavior more than 
others. The key difference is state. How they’re feeling. If I’m feeling kind 
of neutral, like hi, I’m going to meet you now, my state is not aligning with 
my behavior.  
Feelings drive behaviors, we know this. This is one of the few golden rules 
that you can come across in psychology. Feelings drive behaviors. It 
doesn’t prevent behaviors from occurring, but it drives behaviors. 
So if you want to do this naturally, so you don’t come across socially 
awkward or weird or I don’t kind of get them, like a mixed signal thing, 
your feelings must support your behaviors, and this is a behavior. Does 
that make sense? 
Audience: Absolutely. 
Igor: 
By the way, you should have also noticed that the inner smile group – I 
think it was this group over here – were eyebrow flashing you without even 
realizing it. Did anyone notice that? That’s what we want to do. If you 
know it, if you’re aware of it, you can allow it to emerge more fully. You 
can encourage it because then your unconscious mind goes, "Great, I’ll do 
some of that stuff too." Do you see how that works? Please, go ahead. 
Audience: Yes, I was in the mirror group and one thing I found is that it felt like I was 
in the lucky group because it felt all natural to me. So I’m wondering if 
mirroring might not be like a first defense, survival strategy for me to blend 
in.  
Igor: 
It might very well be. Absolutely. You’ll find people who are very good at 
this tend to have a reason for being good at it. For example, someone 
during the break asked me who are the best body language experts?  
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As a rule, what I found in terms of the people I’ve met and I’ve learned 
from – and I mean formally as well as informally – those people who had a 
reason when relatively young to become sensitized to non-verbal 
communication, to body language, will be the best at it. 
I’ll give you some examples. Milton Erickson is a classic. He developed 
polio and was paralyzed from the neck down for about a year of his life or 
six months of his life. So he could barely speak to people. All he had left 
were his observational skills, and he became really good at that. That’s 
the only way he had of connecting with people or interacting with them 
was to observe them.  
Another example might be someone who grew up in a violent area or a 
violent household because their self-preservation instincts are now kicking 
in to figure out when is violence going to occur. When do I need to start 
protecting myself? When is it okay to just be relaxed? So those people will 
tend to have a stronger appreciation for nonverbals. 
Another class of people – this is part of what happened to me – will move 
to a new country where they don’t speak the language, so all they have to 
evaluate what’s going on around them is how people are physically 
responding to them. Does that kind of make sense? 
The people who are very good at this tend to have had a reason for 
developing this as a skill set and it’s just naturally gone through into 
adulthood. What I would like for you all to do is to develop it now. There’s 
no difference between now and earlier on. It’s just that earlier on you were 
guided more by your instincts because you had less thought going on.  
Whereas now, you might have thought interfering with it. Which is one of 
the reasons we talked about not judging or evaluating what it means for 
some time at least. You want to develop experiences first. Does that make 
sense? Does that answer your question? 
Audience: Yes. The other related thing, as I was just speaking to Victor at the break, 
explaining that calibration, if anything might be my weakness, but after this 
exercise, I consider it to be my strength. Perhaps I was doing it so 
naturally, I was just oblivious to the fact that I was doing it. 
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Igor: 
Absolutely. Here’s the other thing. The strange thing is people think this 
should be more complex than it really is. They over complicate it and then 
it becomes unnatural again. As the gentleman who was here a moment 
ago was saying, "Oh, you’re hiding over there." As he was saying, it starts 
becoming unnatural when you start trying to do too much with it.  
This is a very natural function. It’s inside every single one of us to be able 
to do this and read the results of this. The problem comes when we think 
too much. It interferes with our signaling device. If I may give you an 
example of what I mean by this.  
Has anyone here read the book called, The Gift of Fear? It’s a very 
interesting book. It talks about how people’s survival instincts are good. 
There are two kinds of fears. The kinds of fear where you’re like, "Oh, I 
don’t know if I can do this." And the fear, which is so terrifying that you’re 
almost compelled to act in some ways. 
The second kind of fear typically happens when your unconscious mind 
has read a situation and something is terribly wrong with it, even though 
your conscious mind can’t accept it. An example is a lady got attacked in 
the stairwell of her home.  
Before the whole thing happened, she knew there was something wrong 
with this person, but he was being charming, he was being polite. So she 
felt kind of like well, socially I can’t be mean to this person because he’s 
so charming, he’s polite and he’s helping me out and so on.  
Of course, that’s part of what predators end up doing. If you look at the 
profile of serial killers and so on, a lot of them are very charming people. 
They are exploiting the social contract to cause people to ignore their 
defense or their warning signals.  
If you talk to people who have escaped or survived some unpleasant 
situations, most, if not all, of them will tell you that at some point, they felt 
something was wrong or not quite right, and they ignored it. They 
trivialized it, like, "Oh, it’s just probably me." Does that make sense? 
We have that inside of each of us. We have the ability to read people 
exquisitely well inside each one of us. The problem is our thought patterns 
get in the way. Our social construct, our social programming prevents us 
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from listening or interpreting the signals correctly because we’ll tend to 
ignore it. 
Now some of us are better at ignoring it than others. We spend a lifetime 
going, "No, I won’t listen to that. I’m not very good at this. I’ve probably got 
it wrong." Of course, at that point, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. 
Does that make sense?  
So if nothing else – and thank you for bringing that up – if nothing else, I’d 
encourage all of you to just observe. Break it down if you need to so you 
have something worth observing, contrast one behavior with another, and 
not evaluate.  
If an instinct comes up about something, then go, "Oh that’s interesting." 
But do your best not to evaluate it. Don’t feel the pressure of having to 
evaluate it because that’s your cognitive processes. That’s all the stuff you 
already think you know interfering with the process. Does that make sense 
to you? Is this useful? 
Students: Yes. 
Igor: 
Thank you very much.  
Audience: I think you almost answered this. I just want to verify. Can you change the 
nature of the response by the nature of the inner smile that’s behind the 
eyebrow raise? In other words, if I’m thinking about my friend who I’ve 
known since we were kids. We stole cars together. We joined the Marine 
Corps together. 
Igor: 
Audience:  
Igor: 
Audience:  
Of course you did, as we all did. 
♦ So if I’m thinking about him with my inner smile, is that going 
to change the response if I’m thinking about Jack Nicholson, 
who I’ve always wanted to meet? 
Yes, absolutely.  
♦ So that will change the response? 
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Igor: 
Remember, what we’re doing here is we’re sending signals of recognition, 
of greeting and so on and being part of the group. The more connected 
you can be to the person that is driving your inner smile, the more realistic, 
the more powerful, the more natural your greeting signals will be, and the 
better this whole thing will work.  
Why? Because you’re signaling intimacy. If you have a casual friend that 
you kind of like, you’ll give a more casual signal, shall we say the intensity 
of the signal reduces. I can’t give you anything hard in terms of the 
science of it because I’m not sure anyone’s really tested this, but my 
instinct would say that the weaker your connection is in terms of the 
emotions, the less meaningful the signal will be.  
Remember, it’s not just the eyebrows. It’s what happens with the eyebrow 
flash that designs it. It tells it whether it’s sexual or its greeting. Also, the 
intensity of that, I suspect, will also be altered by your emotional state.  
Audience: Okay, so if want to make somebody feel like we’ve know each other 
forever, I could think about my friend, Ron. But if I wanted to make 
somebody think I really want to meet you, I could think of Jack Nicholson? 
Igor: 
Yes and no, because it depends on how. Personally, I’d recommend you 
use your Ron signal because it says we’re good friends already. It 
presupposes the relationship. As opposed to the Jack Nicholson thing 
because what if you’re – and I’m not saying that you are – but what if 
someone was star struck.  
Yeah, Jack Nicholson, I’d really like to meet you. This is something we talk 
more about in the audio course, which I don’t want to spend too much time 
on here because this fixes the problem. These are rapport mistakes. 
One of the biggest mistakes people make in rapport is trying to get the 
other person to like them because now you’re expecting something from 
them. "Oh hi, are you okay, it’s all good, right?" You just did a great 
example of that. Do you see the non-verbals? "Leave me alone." "I’m 
being friendly, aren’t I?" We’ve all had this.  
We all have friends or acquaintances, shall we call them, who are so 
eager to please that they annoy us. They want to do you favors. You’re 
like, just leave me alone. Think about it. Isn’t that insane? If someone’s 
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going out of their way to help you, to do stuff for you, to make your life 
easier and you get annoyed by it? 
The thing that you’re getting annoyed by is the expectation. The loop is a 
self-esteem loop. They need your approval to feel good about themselves, 
so they need something from you. What you’re responding to is their 
wanting something or needing something from you. That’s what you take 
offense at. 
In the same way as a homeless person asking for money. They need 
something from you, and that’s what you feel imposed upon by. Or, the 
poor salesperson who’s trying to sell you something, rather than just 
letting you buy something. They need something from you. They expect 
something from you, and those, are the signals you’re responding too by 
being put off, by it.  
Of course, stars get the same thing. Think about it. It makes sense. Their 
fans need them to respond with affection, with love or whatever it is, and 
it’s imposing upon them. That’s the only reason I would use as a caveat 
with that because you don’t want to send signals of need, of expectation 
because that tends to turn people off. That tends to break rapport because 
people feel put upon.  
My recommendation is find someone inside your own experiences or a 
group of people. By the way, pets work as well. I often use one of my pet 
dogs from when I was a kid. It was a great dog. It was one of my best 
friends. Use that emotional connection because it presupposes a warm, 
intimate relationship.  
Sometimes people can’t handle that kind of warmth because they have 
personal issues as well. That will bump them into the closed category. In 
which case, it tells you something as well, something very valuable. Does 
that make sense? 
Audience: Yes. Thanks a lot. That took care of it.  
Igor: 
Thank you.   
Audience: Actually, it was just an observation but it ties in. I was in the eyebrow 
group. Whenever I ran into someone from the poker faced group who I 
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had met before, and they didn’t flash back, I was like, "What the hell did I 
do?" 
Igor: 
Audience:  
Igor: 
Like, what the hell’s wrong with you, right? Schmuck, God, come on. 
Absolutely. May I do something a little mean to you just to demonstrate 
something? You all will see this as well. Come on up and just imagine we 
haven’t met in a long time, and go, "Hey, John, how’s it going. Good to 
see you again.", a normal friendly greeting, right?  
Notice the eyebrow flash and so on. Now I’ll ask you the same thing again. 
We haven’t seen each other for a while, we walk up to each other and 
we’re going like this. Did you see his reaction? I apologize for doing that to 
you because it’s not a nice thing to do, but you saw it coming. You knew it 
was a setup, right? There’s no person or a monster or anything like that 
involved. Yet he still responded. That was a powerful feeling, wasn’t it?  
You can tell it’s a powerful feeling. I didn’t even see what he did because I 
was looking the other way, and I know for a fact that his response would 
have been very strong, a strong physical gesture of shock, surprise, 
probably a little bit of disgust, body turning with like a quizzical look, 
maybe even a little slight sense of hostility. Would that be a relatively 
accurate read?  
I didn’t see any of that. Why? Because we might call this snubbing 
someone. It’s when the signals get reversed and we’re saying you’re not 
important enough. You’re not good enough. We’re directly attacking 
someone’s self esteem at that point. Does that make sense? 
I want to thank you for doing that because I know it wasn’t pleasant. Give 
him a nice round of applause for that. Is this stuff useful to you all? Sure, 
come on up. 
♦ What do you do when you approach a group of people, like 
three or four people, versus one person who are doing the 
exact same thing? 
Yes and no, because you can’t. Watch when people approach a group of 
their friends. The eyebrow flashing and that sort of stuff happens as well, 
but what tends to happen is – not so much with large groups because 
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that’s a very different dynamic - I’m talking about a group of three or four 
friends.  
What will tend to happen is they’ll flash across the group, and usually in 
the pecking order. In other words, they’ll flash across the group leader 
first, and then onto someone else, and then the last person will go, "Hi, it’s 
good to see you, too."  
In some social groups, it will be according to connection. So people will go 
with the person they like best first, and then the other people are more 
marginal, but it will tend to be around status or connections. Those are the 
two main things.  
If you don’t know the group already, then as you approach the group, what 
will happen is the group gets interrupted and they’re going to start turning 
towards you, like what is this interruption? Who dares to interfere with our 
group? Again, it’s a social, pack animal kind of response.  
At that point, again, one of the people in the group you’ll notice kind of 
takes charge of the whole thing. Other people will refer to him or her to 
find out how to respond to you, or they’ll take a slight dominance posture. 
In other words, they might take a step forward.  
They might be the one to raise their eyebrows toward you whilst everyone 
else kind of waits a little bit more passively. That’s the person you begin 
with and then you can again, flash the rest of the group and build that 
rapport with them. Does that make sense? 
So with groups, especially social groups, you want to play with the leader 
first and then the rest of the group. Do you want to know what to do if you 
mess that up and the group gets a little bit cold on you? 
Audience: Sure. 
Igor: 
You change the group. No, I don’t mean by leaving it. You change the 
group you are with. The way you do that is very simply. You all come on 
up here for a second. So let’s assume these guys are a group. Do you 
want to come up with them as well so we have nice little group? Stand 
over here so we can have the camera see your expressions. 
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Let’s say they’re having a nice little chat. You’re a group, you know each 
other. You three know each other. There you go. That’s much better. 
Wow, friends? Oh yeah, all right. So they’re a group and you’re standing 
there talking. Let’s say we’re doing some street hypnosis or something like 
that, and for whatever reason, I get a sense of maybe I messed up my 
timing, maybe I wasn’t quite feeling it, or maybe they’re all closed. 
What I need to do now is change this group dynamic. Every time a group 
changes – in other words, there’s a reassignment of roles. In other words, 
people will start looking at who is now the group leader. If you want to be 
the group leader, the easiest way to do that is to say, "Hey, have you met 
my friends yet? Come on up and meet these guys, they are amazing."  
Now, I might not even know these people, but if I introduce them, here are 
my friends, "Say hello, don’t be shy, come on." Look at what just 
happened. Do you see how the group is starting to break up? "Go and say 
hi. These guys are really nice. You’ll enjoy this." 
Folks, turn this way a little bit. Let me show you something about what 
hypnosis can do. Did you see where their attention has just gone? Do you 
see how it automatically directs towards me? What I’ve done by bringing 
in a new group is I’ve broken down the old group’s social boundaries. I’ve 
increased their anxiety levels, because now they have to fight for status 
again. It’s just part of how a new pack merges.  
Whilst they’re busy trying to figure out where they fit in that pack, I now 
have the ability to take control of the group. I have now put myself in a 
leadership position by saying, "Everyone, come with me, let me just show 
you something." This is me now creating a new group.  
The other thing is I’m the one who’s put the two groups together. Provided 
I keep my mannerisms in the right place – in other words, in a high status 
and not offensive. Not like ha, ha, you all are schmucks and I’m the best, 
but high status. So I’m still polite but high status, and I begin to ease the 
social tension that meeting new people has.  
Now they’re looking towards me for guidance because I’ve just eased the 
tension that I actually created in the first place. Do you see how that 
works? You saw this happening instantly. Even though these guys know 
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each other to some extent, the minute I changed the group dynamic from 
where their minds were, where did they start looking? They started looking 
towards me for leadership.  
Why? Because they’re so busy trying to figure out what the pecking order 
is. And they need some guidance that will assist the whole process. This 
is kind of like doing an instant induction, isn’t it? There’s a little bit of 
shock, a little surprise, a little bit of, what’s going on here? A little bit of 
evaluating going on, and then I am presenting a very clear suggestion, a 
very clear message of how to understand this whole thing.  
You can call this an instant group induction, if you like. It’s really the same 
process, it just looks different. When you do this in a natural way – this is 
very important – you have to be very natural. If it’s forced, it looks a little 
awkward. Nobody even knows it’s happened. It’s just invisible because 
they feel one way and then they feel another way, and it’s just part of the 
interaction. Exactly.  
Does this make sense to you? Do you find this useful? Thank you. Let’s 
give these them a round of applause. Come on up. 
The question here is what happens if you leave the group after you’ve 
joined them? One of two things, groups go through phases or cycles. If 
you have allowed the new group to establish itself as a group, if you leave, 
the group will remain. In other words, they’ll remain as a group, and then 
you can rejoin them as part of that group as well. 
The natural pecking order will just shift to the next person being the 
natural person in charge. Whilst you’re gone, number two becomes 
number one and so on.  
If, however, you leave the group before they’ve had a chance to bond, 
connect as a group – and that can be anywhere from seconds to minutes 
to sometimes hours or days, depending on how you manage the group 
dynamics – then they’ll naturally separate again. They will go back to their 
original groups.  
Usually what will happen is, unless there’s a very dominant personality 
who will either take over the group or typically will just take over his group, 
he’ll say, "Nice meeting you.", and goodbye. The other thing that will 
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typically happen if no natural leader emerges straightaway is, they’ll be 
like a little socially awkward pause.  
Then they’ll have a chat amongst themselves and they’ll start chatting 
amongst themselves, and slowly they’ll drift off and there will be two 
groups standing next to each other very clearly. That’s what tends to 
happen. Make sense? 
Think about it. In terms of your own experiences, isn’t this the kind of stuff 
you’ve experienced for yourselves, you felt yourself, you’ve seen yourself, 
you’ve watched interactions and gone oh that’s interesting.  
Let’s do something practical with all this. How much time do we have? 
What I’d like you to do is two things. The first thing I want you to do is to 
walk around the room, and you’re going to do your three-step hypnotic 
rapport technique. You’ll meet someone new, eyebrow flash, greeting and 
all that sort of stuff, but what I want you to focus on in terms of what you’re 
doing right now is, I want you to do again, the inner smile induction, the 
hypnotic gift.  
So, instant induction, a couple levels of deepeners and then help them 
find a person. By the way, if you want to help them do an unconscious 
search to find someone they haven’t even thought about to be more 
connected to, even better. Let them find someone they’re really connected 
to, build it in, and then remind them that they can feel this way, have that 
connection any time they want or need to.  
Then, of course, someone will do that to you, and you might do that two or 
three times so you’ll have time to really ingrain that. A useful suggestion to 
present to people is to memorize the sensation, memorize the feeling. 
Memorize the sensation. Memorize the experience. You will need this 
reference experience. Without this reference experience, some of you will 
naturally be able to activate it, which means the whole hypnotic rapport 
technique is very easy.  
Others amongst you, though, aren’t that way. I’m not that way. I’m not 
particularly a social person. I’m actually relatively reserved in terms of my 
personal day-to-day life. It takes a lot of effort for me to switch on the inner 
smile to be able to engage and be social and so on. So it’s very useful to 
have someone be able to present you with a switch, so that when we get 
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onto doing the full method, it’s there for you. Does that make sense? 
Remember, like any hypnotic switch, the more you use it, the stronger it 
becomes.  
So do you understand the first part of the exercise? We’re just going to go 
around and do one or two, maybe three if you have time, just quick inner 
smiles with people. You, of course, will get them in return. Once you’ve 
had them done a few times, we’ll come back again and then we’ll add this 
into the full hypnotic rapport technique and, hopefully, you’ll see that this is 
actually a very powerful thing that you can walk out there and do instantly.  
If you did nothing but this and this was the only thing you got from the 
entire course, I personally think you got your money’s worth because it 
took me a long time to figure this stuff out. It is really, useful in terms of 
any interaction you have.  
Just to give you an idea of what this does, the power of conversational 
hypnosis course has been out for some years now, right? So we’ve gotten 
hundreds of emails, possibly thousands by now, of people asking, what 
about this problem and this problem? I’m trying to do this, but I’m getting 
this result and I don’t understand.   
I would say that in the region of somewhere between 80% - 90% of those 
questions people ask will not arise if you do this right. 80% to 90% of 
resistance, of frame wars, of status issues, of hostility, of all this sort of 
stuff does not even come up if you do this step right. Hence, we spend a 
little more time on it, and hopefully you’ll find that this is a valuable thing to 
spend time on.  
Would that be fair? Any questions before we start the warm-up exercise? 
All right, everyone, off you go. Warm yourselves up, and then we’ll come 
back and actually do the full hypnotic rapport technique. If you’re 
hypnotists, then just let them stay in trance a little bit. Just to clarify 
because I don’t think I made this clear completely. Right now all that 
you’re doing is:  
1.  Instant induction.  
2.  Deepeners, preferably the fractionation deepener.  
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3. The inner smile as a gift.  
Bring them back. They’ll do it to you and then you find someone else and 
go through those same three steps again. We’re not doing the full hypnotic 
rapport technique yet. We’re just building it up. We’re just warming up the 
inner smile so that it’s there for you when you need it. Off you go.  
How was that? Did you enjoy it? You should be thinking about happy 
people all the time. It’s great. The reason we spent more time focusing on 
the inner smile than the full technique is because this is what drives the 
whole thing. If you can get the inner smile right, honestly these two things 
will probably happen by accident, by default, if you get this part right. Even 
if it doesn’t happen by default, it will be so natural to do these things, that it 
will be part of the natural interaction, rather than a forced interaction to 
have these things.  
So it’s important and I really would encourage you to focus on this, and 
then these things will come through. Does that make sense? So when you 
go to lunch in a few moments’ time, really focus on this and see how 
naturally the eyebrow lift comes for you, the eyebrow flash. If your 
eyebrow flash is natural, you’ve got this right. If it feels awkward to you, 
chances are you’ve let go of this at some point.  
Does that make sense to you? This is a litmus test for you, and then it’s 
just a question of practice. Just put yourself through that routine and 
actually it will make you a happier person anyways.  
Think about it. If you spend most of your days thinking about people you 
really like versus all the stuff that pisses you off – where attention flows, 
energy goes. Which are you going to do? So you had a quick question or 
comment? Do you want to come up here? 
Audience: It’s actually a quick question.  
♦ The inner smile isn’t that the same thing as H+ or is there a 
difference? 
Igor: 
Yes, it is. It’s just another way of looking at the H+ thing. The H+ is slightly 
tweaked in the sense that I really want you to have a positive experience. 
And it’s going to be hypnotic. So that’s the spin, shall we say, to it. Think 
of it this way. It’s the same creature with a different mood.  
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Now one of you just reminded me that there’s this one little group of 
people we haven’t talked about yet, the oblivious ones. How do we force 
enough attention so we can get our greeting signal out to them? Would 
that be interesting to know? The answer is really it depends on the kind of 
context that you’re in. Are you in a large social context? Are you in a small 
social context? What kinds of tools are available to you? 
The two main things that you can focus on – we won’t have time to 
practice it. So if it’s okay with you, I’ll just tell you about them and you can 
play with it as you wish to. It’s not really part of the program here, but you 
may as well have it.  
The first one is if you’re in a social context where there’s a larger group of 
people, for example, say a golf club or a nightclub or a bar, or you’re at a 
cocktail party or something like that, the way to get their attention is very 
simple. It’s by getting the rest of the room to put attention to you, and it will 
naturally draw their attention. 
It’s kind of like have you ever done this when you were kids. You’ve gotten 
in the middle of a busy street and you go like this. People will pass and 
they’ll go like this. Eyes have a very strong effect on people. Does anyone 
here write sales letters or adverts in the paper or something like that?  
Would you like to have a way that would increase the likelihood that your 
letter will be read? If this is advert or your letter, put in the top corner a pair 
of eyes that are looking down at your text. You might even put a smile or a 
funky device here. If the eyes are angled to look at the text, it naturally 
draws attention towards it. We respond very powerfully to eyes. 
So if you can get the attention of everyone else in the room on you, then 
people’s attention will naturally turn towards you. Now you can do that 
through some antics, like a magic trick or whatever it is. Like a magic 
moment that draws attention. Like in street hypnosis, for example, the 
people who are too shy to go up to strangers and ask them if they want to 
do hypnosis. One simple trick for doing that using this principle is you do it 
with a friend.  
Like say, Tim and I are going out to do some street hypnosis. I’m too 
afraid to talk to everyone else so I’ll say, "Okay, Tim, let’s go do some 
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street hypnosis stuff." As soon as I do that with him, it’s only usual that 
everyone’s eyes get drawn to me. Here I can throw in my eyebrow flash 
and say, come in, watch this, and we’ve already engaged the whole 
process. Does that make sense? 
Another way you can do exactly the same thing is by being just a social, 
friendly person. Let’s say at a party, you’re the one that everyone knows. 
How do you do that? Well, you go up and you eyebrow flash them all 
because they’re the ones that are already open. You go to all the open 
people. You do your little eyebrow flash, your hypnotic rapport process. 
They think you’re an amazing person even though they’ve only spoken to 
you for about two seconds. It’s like, "Oh, it’s good to see you again." "I’ll 
see you in a bit." Then they’ll go, "Who the hell was that? I don’t know."  
Of course, then they’ll start following you around the room. He knows 
everyone here. You’re going off and meeting everyone else and they’re 
like, "God, I must have met him someplace." That is part of the context 
that you’re creating, isn’t it? Eventually, it’s just a matter of time that 
whatever group of people that are oblivious to you will notice because 
there’s an energy that will follow you as the attention follows you through 
the room. At some point, all they have to do is see attention gravitating 
somewhere, and they’ll naturally do this.  
At that point, as long as you’re aware of them, you can engage them in the 
full signal because now they’re open. Does that make sense?  
The final version is a little bit sneaky? Do you want it? It’s kind of sneaky 
though. I’ll warn you. Can I borrow you for this? This is particularly for 
strangers. Let’s say again you’re in a public space and this person’s totally 
oblivious to you. You can force a rapport ping from this person. You can 
rob them. You can throttle them. Yeah, that’s close. Violence helps. No. 
It’s to do with our social distance. This works better in an environment 
where space is okay. In a two hour metro, it can still work, but you have to 
understand what the social space divide around you happens to be. Right 
now, I’m outside of his social space. So let’s imagine you’re just watching 
some artwork or something like that. Excellent! 
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Now watch what happens when I come close enough. Did you see what 
happened just then? Even though he’s trying to ignore me, what 
happened was this, as soon as I step inside his private space bubble, his 
eyes shifted for a moment and then looked back again.  
He has to shift because he’s sensing someone has just invaded my 
space. Is this a threat? Is there something I’ve got to do about it? He 
instantly gets alerted and pays attention. As soon as he pays attention, he 
goes into the open category. Now I can do the whole eyebrow flash.  
Still, he’s a little hesitant, but as soon as he looks towards me, I can 
always look like oh, he’s engaging me and I’ll go, hey. Do you see how 
that works? So you’re actually forcing him to engage in greeting behavior 
with you. He’ll look to make sure that you’re not a threat and then he’ll go 
like this because he engaged me at this point. Do you see how this 
works? It is very sneaky, but it’s kind of fun. Thank you. Give him a nice 
round of applause.  
Did you like that? Was that kind of fun? So again, notice how we’re 
working at the same level as the hypnotic principles that we started 
playing with yesterday, and how on the surface level, everyone goes, 
yeah, sure. The idea of matching and mirroring makes sense, or the idea 
of nonverbal communication, that makes sense, but there are so many 
more layers to this. There’s a lot of depth to everything that we do. 
As soon as there’s a human being involved, there is a huge amount of 
depth that you’re capable of reaching, even with simple devices. All these 
little core techniques, like the rapport ping force or the group rapport thing 
that we talked about, and all these things. They’re just an extension of a 
very simple principle. The simple principle is this. We’re all mammals. We 
all belong to a group and whenever someone else comes along we’ve got 
to decide are they with us or are they with them?  
Our unconscious mind will send signals out to test to find out. If you pass 
the test, then you’re with us. If you do not, then you’re with them. Being 
with them is not a bad thing. It doesn’t mean you’re going to be hostile or 
anything like that, but you’re just not one of us. When you want to develop 
hypnotic rapport, you really want to be one of us.  
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So that’s the idea I’m going to leave you with as we go off to lunch. I can 
imagine that there will be some fascinating stories coming back after 
lunch, can you not? All right, everyone, did you enjoy this morning?  
Audience: Yes.  
[Applause] 
Igor: 
Thank you very much. I think you’ll enjoy this afternoon even more.  
It’s now a quarter past 12. We’ll be starting again at 1:45 on the dot. 
Please try to be here a little early, like, say, 1:30. We will start at 1:45 on 
the dot.  
Thank you very much. // 자연스럽게 문맥에 맞게 한국어로 번역해줘