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Assistant: Title: We can learn to love again
        Author: Littledidyouknow Littledidyouknow 
        Chapter: 34/83 
        Summary: Feyre has healed. It was a long journey, but she has finally healed, and she is happy. More than she thought she might be.She went through hell and back, but she is finally fine: a single parent, teaching children how to express themselves through art, and she is fine.But she has yet to love again. And that's maybe the most terrifying part.
        Contents: Chapter 34
    

    


      
        
          
          (See the end of the chapter for  notes.)
          
      
  

  
  
    
    “There you are,” Feyre and Nyx both jumped at Rhys’s voice, though neither of them moved. “We’ve been looking for you.”Feyre was still sitting on the bench, holding Nyx tight to her chest as she had been for the past couple of minutes.“We got ice creams,” Elizabeth announced, her own in hand—though most of it was plastered all over her face. Feyre chuckled at the sight.Rhys was holding her other hand, and indeed had a coffee tray that he had customized to hold three ice cream cones.“Take your pick: I got chocolate, raspberry or vanilla.”Feyre finally moved, straightening up and kissing Nyx on the head, “Which one do you want?”He didn’t go far, still leaning on her side, thinking. Then, his head turned up to meet her eyes, “You choose first.”She shook her head with a smile, “Go on, I’ll have whichever.”He paused again, and then turned back to face his father, “Raspberry.”“Raspberry, coming right up!”Rhys approached, never letting go of Eli’s hand, and held the tray so Feyre could grab the ice cream and hand it over to Nyx.“What do you want?” She asked him, but he only shrugged. It was dumb, really, because she already knew. She took the vanilla ice cream and nodded to the last one. “Wouldn’t want to have you chocolate-deprived.”Surprise flashed in his eyes at the same time a smile spread on his lips.They ate their ice cream on the bench, listening to Nyx’s retelling of his day—he knew how to read a whole paragraph now—and Elizabeth’s own stories about how Cassian made Momma tired and the flowers she painted were all yellow and blue.Rhys silently handed her his ice cream at some point, and she took some, offering hers his in return, and the normalcy and intimacy of it all brought chills to her arms.“Where are your thoughts?” Rhys whispered in her ear, and she should have jumped at the unexpected sound, but all she could feel instead was goosebumps and heat spreading in her chest.“Nothing,” she supplied, equally quiet so she wouldn’t draw the children’s attention.Rhys kissed the spot under her ear, “Liar.”She huffed a small laugh, but didn’t elaborate.“I want to meet Alis,” he announced in a whisper once more, and this time her eyebrows shot up and she whipped her head toward him.“What?”“I’d like to meet her. Properly this time. So I can change her mind, and you can have your friend again.”Feyre rolled her eyes, “She should be able to trust me regardless.”“True,” he allowed, and kissed her neck this time, snaking his arm around her to draw her closer. Nyx was speaking animatedly with Elizabeth on the other side of the bench and didn’t seem to notice Feyre drawing away. “But she’s worried about you. She wants to protect you and I get it—I wouldn’t want you dating a guy I know nothing about, either.”“But you’d be fine with me dating a guy you did know?” she challenged playfully, a single eyebrow raised.“That’d absolutely kill me,” he replied easily, although she hadn’t expected him to. “But—If that’s what you wanted and if I knew you were both safe, I’d find a way to be fine with it. I’d cope.”She searched his face, heart constricting, and blinked at the honesty she found there. She leaned in to kiss his lips, both a denial and a promise. She wanted no one else. When they parted, it was to many hugs, and kisses, and sweet promises to rejoin the day after, but no tears.  “You’re crushing me, Addi,” Feyre managed to say in a chuckle, pressed tight against the teenager. Her complaint wasn’t genuine of course—she wasn’t letting her go either.“You were gone for two weeks,” Addison mumbled, the sound muffled in Feyre’s chest. “I didn’t know what to do without you.”Feyre’s chest tightened at that, and somehow, she managed to hold her closer. She had been so lost in her own thoughts, so focused on her own problems, that she hadn’t thought about checking in more often on Addison. The email they’d exchanged over her weeks off was nothing to make up for their regular encounters.“I’m so sorry,” she said, and she meant it more than she could express. “I’m so very sorry. I shouldn't have disappeared.”“No, I,” she sighed, drawing back. “My therapist says I shouldn’t rely on someone that much, I—“ Her cheeks were turning red by the minute, and she was nervously biting her cheeks.Feyre pressed her shoulder. “Hey,” she said softly, “You don’t rely on me if we’re friends. It goes both ways. I just—had my own thing that came up and I needed some time off.”Addison’s eyes were looking at her with wide eyes, “You’re okay?”“Yeah,” Feyre nodded. “I’m fine. We’re both fine now.” She dragged her back into a hug.“You painted the studio wall,” Addison stated when they both pulled away for good, nodding to where the paint was splattered in shapes and swirls of colors on the wall.“I needed the change of thoughts” she explained, looking at the wall she had tried to avoid the day before. “And the change of scenery, I guess.”“It’s beautiful.”Feyre had a hard time calling it beautiful, considering what it was hiding, but she didn’t say anything. The other students were quickly arriving, waving and smiling fondly at her, and soon she was pulled in all directions for questions, advice, or simply small talk.Elizabeth was there, too. Holding her hand and pointing to her favorite sketches or mentioning which color would look better on certain paintings. Feyre was so lost in time, that she didn’t realize one hour had flown by until a student told her, and she dismissed all of them quickly. Addison lingered, as she would usually do, and soon it was just her, Elizabeth, and Feyre in the studio once more. “Momma,” Feyre looked down from where she was standing next to Addison. “You said they’d be here.”“They will,” she nodded and looked back up to Addison’s painting of the day. “They'll be here soon.”“But I want them to be here now.”“Be patient, Eli. You just have to wait,” she turned back to the teenager, ignoring Addison’s raised brows and Elizabeth’s deep sigh as she turned away. “I think you could add some more texture here,” she pointed to the lower part of the drawing. “It’d give more depth to your painting. Take this,” she handed her the charcoal she was holding.Addison took it, but made no move to use it.“So, Hot Daddy’s still on the table I take it?” She smiled and Feyre nudged her side.“I told you to stop calling him that,” she rolled her eyes. “He’s heard you say it once; wasn’t that enough?”She shrugged, “I mean, if you think about it, he is a Dad. And he is very hot. So I’m just stating facts.”Feyre laughed at that but didn’t respond.“So is that a yes?” Addison asked again, eyeing her pointedly.Feyre had to bite her cheeks from smiling too much. “Yeah,” she said finally. “He’s still… in the picture.”“So you’re dating?”She nodded, and Addison shrieked, hands moving frantically. “I knew it, I knew it!”“You’re way too happy about my love life, Addi,” Feyre chuckled but regretted it instantly.“Oh,” Addison grinned, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Calling it love already, huh?”“Stop that,” she groaned, “and focus on your painting instead. You’re unbelievable.”Addison’s smile never left her lips, even as she turned back to her drawing and started putting Feyre’s advice into practice.Feyre was watching her silently, observing each stroke on the page.After a while, she asked, quieter than usual.“How are things at home Addi?”If the younger girl was taken about by the question, she didn’t say. Instead, she kept her moves even, and kept her attention focused on her drawing.“It’s okay,” she said eventually, still not looking at her. That smile of hers was nowhere to be seen.“Is it?”Addison shrugged, and let the charcoal drop on a nearby table. “It’s fine. It just—” she bit her lower lip, trying to decide on her next words. “It was just harder than usual without your classes,” she admitted finally and Feyre smiled sadly at her.“I’m sorry—”“You’re here!”Elizabeth’s voice cut over her own, and she turned to see that Rhys and Nyx were, indeed, by the door.“Hello there,” he brushed a hand over her daughter's face and met Feyre’s eyes.“I’ll uh—” Addison was starting to gather her belongings but Feyre placed a hand on her shoulder.“Wait, Addi.” She turned to Rhys once more. “Give me a minute?”"Of course," he smiled, already holding both Nyx’s and Elizabeth’s hands in each of his own. "We’ll wait outside. Take your time."She smiled in gratitude, and waved at Nyx from afar, who was watching her with the slightest smile tugging at his lips.They were already out of the door when she turned back to Addison. “Sorry, about that,” she said, and let out a long breath. “Okay, Addi, give me your phone.”“What?”She smiled, and held out a hand for her, “Come one, give me your phone.”Slowly, the teenager reached into her back pocket and retrieved her phone, before she unlocked it and carefully placed it in Feyre’s outstretched hand.She made quick work of creating a new contact and handed it to her again.“Now you have my number,” she said with pointed eyes. “And I want you to use it anytime. I mean it, Addison, any time. Day, night, weekends, holidays, you call me if you need anything.“I’m not—”“You are,” she cut her off. “You’re going to use it.”Addison rolled her eyes, though a smile was slowly making its way on her lips.“Also,” Feyre continued. “You’re going to need it.”She frowned, “What do you mean?”“You’re going to need it when you assist me during classes in the Fall.”She opened her mouth, and shut it quickly. Opened it again, and this time Feyre couldn’t contain her small laugh. Addison was looking at her with both brows raised, frozen, and in total disbelief.“What?”“If you want to,” Feyre smiled. “I’d like you to assist me during classes.”She had been thinking about it for quite some time now. Addison was her best student—had a creativity and a technique that were both admirable, and worked very hard, too.“Are you serious?”Feyre nodded, smiling softly, “You could come to the classes that work with your schedule, and we can work out the details later. I can’t say it’d be a lot of money, but—”“Thank you thank you thank you,” she said, already crushing Feyre into a tight embrace. “I’d love to.”Feyre chuckled, “Good.” She straightened, and drew back so she could look at Addison dead in the eye. “You’re very talented, Addi.”The smile she rewarded her with brought Feyre a feeling of completion and pride she hadn’t felt in a very long time. Rhys was outside, crouched down at both children's level, gently brushing his thumb over Elizabeth’s red cheeks to wipe away some fresh tears that had fallen from her glossy eyes."What happened?" Feyre asked, falling to her knees as soon as she joined them, immediately filled with worry.Elizabeth hauled herself in her arms, but Rhys offered a small smile that appeased her a little. He didn’t seem alarmed.“She fell,” Nyx supplied and Rhys explained, “Got a little scare and hurt her foot. But she’s all good.”Feyre pressed a kiss on her daughter’s head.“Yeah?” she asked in her hair. “You okay?”She only nodded in her chest, but didn’t answer.“She was jumping and she fell,” Nyx said, and he placed a hand on Elizabeth’s back. “But Dad said you’re not broken.”Feyre drew back so she could meet her daughter’s eyes, “Does it hurt, baby?”She nodded, almost imperceptible.“Where?”She dragged her thumb away from her mouth to point at her foot—at her toes. Feyre brushed her hair away from her face.“It’s okay.” she kissed her head. “It’ll be okay. You wanna go home?”She tipped her head in a nod once more and Feyre looked up to meet Rhys’s eyes, “I’m sorry, we should cancel for tonight, we—”"No," Elizabeth whined, turning away and reaching her arms out to Rhys. He immediately responded, pulling her into a hug. "Don’t leave," she pleaded.Rhys offered her a small smile and met Feyre's eyes over her tiny golden head.“Come with us?” It didn’t take too much convincing for him to agree. Rhys had initially planned to bring them to Sevenda’s, but he canceled easily, and soon they were all tucked into Feyre’s small apartment.She shouldn’t, really, but she couldn’t help feeling self-conscious about her home compared to his. The neighborhood, for one, wasn’t exactly friendly. She had never felt unsafe there, but it paled in comparison to the quiet and homely streets of Velaris, where Rhys lived. As for the apartment itself—well, it was small, and crooked, and messy, and felt infinitely smaller with the four of them in it.Neither Nyx nor Rhys seemed to mind though, as they passed the threshold and took in the space.Nyx’s reaction was immediate—he let go of Feyre’s hand, and broke into a run to stop in front of one of the living room walls, head looking up at a painting Feyre had placed there.“Wow,” Rhys murmured, following behind his son with Elizabeth still in his arms.“That’s Momma’s painting,” she offered, her head tucked into his neck, and Rhys looked down at her.“Yeah?”“Mhm,” she nodded. “It's me in the middle. She painted it when I was a baby.”“Oh,” Rhys’s smile turned even softer. “But aren’t you still a baby?” he teased, kissing her forehead, and her temple, and cheeks playfully.“No,” she giggled in his arms, “I’m not.”“But she calls you baby,” Nyx pointed out, and Elizabeth stuck her tongue out at him in response.Feyre finally broke away from observing them and approached. "Come on, Eli. Let’s check your foot."“No”, she said, voice determined as Rhys put her down. “It doesn’t hurt anymore.”“But—”“Nyx, come see my room! I got a Lego set with Frozen!”Feyre was about to complain, but Elizabeth was already running away, dragging Nyx along with her, and she let out a sigh.Rhys chuckled, standing up. “Well, that was a nice excuse to get us to come here.”“Oh, I’m sure it was,” she rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe her.”He shrugged a smug grin on his face, “I don’t mind. I was kind of curious to see where you live.”“Yeah, it’s not—”“It’s perfect, Feyre. It’s a very nice apartment.”She doubted it, really. Doubted he believed it either, but she didn’t push on the matter.Rhys took a step toward her, closing the distance between them, and gently cupped her neck with his hand before kissing her lips slowly. Sweetly. Lovingly.“What was that about?” she asked when he drew back, though he didn’t retreat completely.“That was hello,” he replied easily. “I didn’t properly greet you.”“Hmm,” she leaned in for another kiss. “Bad of you to forget.”“Incorrigible.” Another kiss, and this time, she could feel her heart beginning to beat faster.When she retreated, they were both panting slightly. Rhys’s eyes were as wide as his lips were swollen, and the sight made her chuckle.“You look…” she chuckled again. “Very messy.”“That’s your fault,” he informed her, but dragged her back into a kiss. “You always make a mess of me.” He trailed kisses down her cheek, her jawline, and all the way to her neck, and she let out a content sigh.This was paradise, she decided.When Rhys drew back though, she shivered at the loss of contact and pouted, but his hand had slid up to her face and started brushing over her cheekbone in a soothing motion.“Come sit with me?” he asked, and she furrowed her brows. “I uh—” he sighed. “I have something to tell you.”Her heart skipped a beat—because what now?— but the serious expression on his face told her to just follow suit—to let him spit it out.She nodded toward the couch behind them, and Rhys let go of her face, only to find her hand and drag her with him to sit down.“You’re getting me worried,” she said, eyeing him suspiciously, and then he ran a hand through his hair, and yeah—she was definitely worried.“No it’s just—” he stared into her eyes. “I didn’t want to broach the subject right now but I… I told you I wouldn’t wait to tell you things so—this is me, not waiting.”Oh. She grimaced, convinced she wouldn’t like this one bit.“I just have.. new information about the sale.”She nodded, prompting him to continue.“I have good and bad news,” he said. And thank god he didn’t ask her which to tell her first because she didn’t want to wait any longer. “He already has the painting, and we can’t get it back unless we talk to him. And even then, it’d be his right to refuse.” She let out a sigh, closing her eyes. She expected this. “I don’t think you’d want me to interfere, and even if we asked the Gallery to call him, I don’t think you should draw attention to you like that. He'd get suspicious. He'd know you know it was him. I don’t want him to have you on the spot any more than necessary.”“And the good news?” she asked, meeting his eyes again.“We could remove the money,” he said. “He’d still have your painting, but at least the money would be gone. I can get Az to transfer it from your bank account back into his own swiftly. He wouldn’t even know, unless he checked."And he wouldn’t, Feyre knew. He wasn’t one to worry about money, and even though she couldn’t really imagine it herself, she guessed that when you had as much money as he did, you wouldn’t notice a few thousand missing or extra.She ignored the part where Rhys’s brother would do that—could do that. She’d had enough unpleasant information for the day.“Okay,” she nodded slowly. “Okay. Let’s do this.”Rhys clenched his jaw, for all but a second, and said, “I do have to ask, though—” She turned her head back toward him. “This is a lot of money, Feyre. I just… I don’t want you to take his money, don’t want you to have anything to do with him but—”He trailed off, so she said, “What?”“Just—will you tell me? If you need anything?” he said, a desperate look on his face. “For you, for Lizzie—please let me know if I can help you in any way.”He meant money, she knew it, but he also meant so much more.And she hated relying on anyone, hated feeling helpless, but she didn’t—never with him—so she surprised herself when she said, “I will,” and meant it.Relief flooded his expression and he relaxed, taking her hand.“Are you done with the bad news for today?” she asked, and he chuckled.“Yeah. That’s all.”“Good,” she smiled softly. “Then kiss me again.”
  
  

    
      
        
        
          Ugh, I struggled so much with this chapter 😭 I’m sorry if it wasn’t the most.. interesting, but I had to get it out of the way !!'
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