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Assistant: Title: Magic and Mystery
        Author: Allegory_for_Hatred Allegory_for_Hatred 
        Chapter: 1/55 
        Summary: Dazai is going to Hogwarts—which is crazy because he doesn’t have magic. He has a nullifying ability, for goodness’ sake! Not that it matters. Dazai is still willing to stick around and cause trouble before he gets shipped back home and stuck in his room again.And this Quirrell guy is definitely up to something. So that’s a good place to start.
        Contents: Chapter 1: Unusual Things
    

    


  

  
  
    
    “You’ll get used to it.” Dazai glanced up from his hands, frowning. It was strange... the half of his face usually hidden behind bandages was open to the cool air. He didn’t let the unusual sensation show on his face. “You’re the one always telling me not to pick at those bandages. Maybe it’ll get infected and I’ll die.” Mori offered a pleasant smile. “It’s all healed up, I’m afraid.” “...I  guess. ” Chuckling like he knew something Dazai didn’t, the doctor waved off the concern. Dazai would think the man irritating if he weren’t currently in Mori’s care. A small mercy. “Did you do the research I asked you to?” “Obviously.” Dazai rolled his eyes, wincing slightly when his right one stung at the movement. Of course he’d done his research! The information wasn’t easy to find, but the challenge made it all the more intriguing. Magic—the magical community. A whole world hiding just beneath the surface of society. The idea alone filled Dazai with a sort of mute humor. It had been  very difficult   to find   anything   on magic (outside of fiction, which Dazai had immediately discarded with a scowl), and what he had found was rumor at best. But Mori was persistent in his quest for knowledge, so Dazai was as well. Not that   persistence  was going create documents out of thin air, but Mori didn’t seem to realize that and Dazai didn’t have the heart to tell him. “Hogwarts, right?” he sighed and kicked a foot out, narrowly missing hitting his doctor in the shin. “They’re clever to avoid detection, but they aren’t really doing much with all that power.” “Oh?” “Seems like there’s a lot of infighting... is that why you’re suddenly so curious about this place, Sir?” “Something like that. You aren’t trying to get out of our deal, are you?” Dazai pouted. “I see the logic in not telling the me purpose of this mission, but also it’s annoying. How am I meant to get information if all I know is you want me to attend this Hogwarts place? I’ll just kill myself for sure. Ah, I read it somewhere. Let me look—” He suddenly reached into his pocket, clicking noisily on a phone. “—something about a killing curse. Hold on—” Mori raised a brow, that insufferable smile unshakable. “Well, let’s not get carried away, Dazai. Besides, wouldn’t you like to make friends at your new school? I’m sure they wouldn’t appreciate all this suicide nonsense.” Once Dazai’s phone had returned to his pocket (accompanied by another near-kick to the shin), Mori continued, “Did you find anything else?” “Something about a war?” Dazai blinked, scratching the back of his head where No Longer Human was a near-silent constant  buzz  . “Non-magic resources could only tell me so much, you know. Once I figure out   where  they keep their documents, I can tell you anything you want.” “Well, I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that.” At his ward’s annoyed look, the doctor chuckled. “I’ve arranged for a Hogwarts representative to meet with you tomorrow. I’m sure you understand what would happen if this were to go poorly.” Snapping shut the latch on his first aid kit, Mori beamed. “Remember to act surprised—you've been practicing, right? You’d look so cute with a  shocked  expression—” This time, his kick didn’t miss.  Pretend like I don’t know magic exists,   Dazai thought, grinning over Mori’s melodramatic whines,   I’m still not convinced it does, idiot doctor.   ----  Snape’s lip curled. “Are you certain this is the correct place?” “The directory is never wrong. Although,” Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled behind the panes of his glasses. “It is curious that a name from Japan should appear on the list.” Certainly, whoever this child was, he  should   be going to a more local magical school. Snape didn’t see why it had to be Hogwarts—beyond that, he entirely failed to understand why   he  had to come with. It wasn’t exactly tradition for both Dumbledore and the Potion’s Master to welcome every new muggle student to Hogwarts.  It didn’t help that Dumbledore was resolute in not spilling the exact details of this child’s case. The headmaster seemed to read his thoughts. “For such an unusual case, it’s best to visit personally.” “What—was Minerva too busy?” Or Hargrid, for that matter. Though, judging from the populated streets, perhaps lugging the half-giant around would have drawn too much attention. Snape knew he wasn’t the type of person new students wanted to meet when being introduced to the magical community. He took great pride in that fact. Dumbledore gave him a pleasant, if cautious, look. “Just so.” Snape tried to restrain himself from sighing (from the expression he got in return, he’d hardly done an adequate job). “Will you be enlightening me as to what makes this boy so unusual, then?” He ground out. “Or do you intend to keep me in the dark until the boy’s luggage is all packed aboard the train?” With shining eyes, the old headmaster seemed to glow with a sort of excitement—or maybe that was humor. Suddenly, he strode up to the front door, leaving Snape to grind his teeth and trail along. Dumbledore does a quick, silent charm in case any language barrier should arise. Apparently, this boy lived in a rather well-off apartment complex in the middle of Yokohama, Japan. Snape didn’t know the first thing about the place—after-all, rarely did the magically-created list of new students send them so far away. Grudgingly, he allowed himself to be tugged along by Dumbledore to the front entrance. The headmaster knocked three times. Not even thrity seconds passed before the door was swung open. Snape’s lip twitched at the sight of the man on the other side—this character reeked on slimy condescension. Still, Dumbledore and this man (the child’s father, he assumed) wore matching smiles. “Albus Dumbledore,” he introduced himself. “This is my associate, Professor Snape. I’m led to believe this is the home of Dazai Osamu?” The man smiled wider. It’s the sort of smile that put Snape completely on edge, because the expression was sick with the tangible feeling of deception. The potion maker narrowed his eyes. “Mori Ougai.” He introduced. “And yes, you’d be correct. May I ask why you’re here?” Snape shot Dumbledore a glare, but the headmaster didn’t seem to care for the blatant scorn aimed his way. “How peculiar. I’m certain you’d have received owls by now. The system is automated, after all.” “Owls?” “Perhaps,” Snape growled, “this conversation is best held indoors.” “I think that’s best as well. Mr. Mori.” “Doctor.” He corrected, “Come right in.” He couldn’t help but feel like the man is up to something. It’s utterly ridiculous—the man is a muggle, after all. And one who didn’t receive an owl in advance, if Snape heard correctly. There’s positively no way this  doctor   can know what they’ll have to say. Snape almost grins himself, imagining the shocked look   Doctor  Mori will give once they reveal the cause for this visit. Snape’s first impression is that the apartment is incredibly bear and almost annoyingly clean. It’s not the type of how he often sees when doing house visits—the presence of a child is completely scarce. If Snape didn’t know any better, he’d say they’d accidentally went to the wrong address.  Did anyone actually live here?  “Would you like some tea?” Dumbledore hummed, looking all soft-edges and pleasantries. Just the sort of thing Snape couldn’t bear. “That would be lovely.” “No.” Dr. Mori hummed, not offended in the slightest, apparently. He disappeared around the corner, and returned only a moment later with one cup of tea in hand. Snape’s frowned deepened when the doctor handed the solitary cup off to the headmaster. Mori smirked. “So, what’ll this be about, then?” Something about how the man spoke rubbed him the wrong way. It was the sort of tone Lucius used.  Slimy,  his mind supplied without prompting. “Ah,” Dumbledore began, “I’m pleased to inform you that your son has been accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.” Mori blinked, expression just stupefied enough for Severus to silently feel quite pleased. Snape cleared his throat. “Perhaps you’ve noticed unusual things. Things that can’t be explained.” Except, where Severus usually is met with an expression like aghast realization (or continued confusion), the doctor instead raised a brow. It’s a look like he’s privy to a private joke. “Unusual things, hm?” Albus chuckled. He always hated this part. Muggles can be annoyingly persistent when it comes to understanding magic is real. Snape has had plates levitating around the room, while parent’s look on saying it must be windy. He settles in for a long evening. D@mn Dumbledore for dragging him along to what so far appears to be a normal house call. It takes about thirty minutes to convince Dr. Mori that magic is, in fact, real and that they are not planning an elaborate kidnapping of the man’s son. Altogether, things went rather smoothly. Good. Maybe they can leave quickly and just be done. For whatever reason, Severus doesn’t think that will be the case.  ----  “ Dazai ,” Mori’s voice was sweet like the sound a fruit-fly makes. “Our guests are here.” Looking up from his bandaged wrists, the eleven-year-old boy frowned, thoughtful. “You were talking for a long time.” Dazai accused passively. Not that he  cares,  of course, but if Mori had made him wait any longer he’d been planning on digging out the razor blade in his drawer and slitting his wrists. “We all have our roles to play. I expect you’ll put on an equally convincing show.” He replied evenly with a hint of threat to give the words meaning. Dazai rolled his eyes (the bad one smarted a bit on the turn-around, but he didn’t let the hurt show on his face). “Obviously. Although I don’t know how you expect me to actually do magic. If it’s anything like abilities, I’ll just nullify it before I can do any spells.” Mori smiled. “You won’t have to do anything today. Besides, I think you’ll find it won’t be so challenging. After all, you are my prodigy, Dazai.” He waved a hand vaguely, chuckling. “Regardless! I’m sure our guests are tired of waiting. Introduce yourself. I’ll be behind shortly.” Rolling his eyes, Dazai hopped up from where he’d been sitting on his bed. Despite how long he sat there, the sheets didn’t look remotely disturbed. While he walked to the living room, Dazai mentally went over the script he’d prepared in his head. Regular boy finds out he’s magic—that was the play for today. Dazai would love to suck up to the school representatives (or maybe bully them), but all he  really  knows about this mission is that he needs to be at Hogwarts. For now, lying low is the safest best. Even if it is the most boring one. Ah, well... he can probably make a little fun, right? He turned around the corner to the seating area. Two pairs of eyes immediately tore away from each other to stare at him. Dazai watched as their eyes wandered up and down his frame, then back again, seeming to catch on how the bandages wrapped up his arms, legs, and neck. While they assessed him, Dazai took his turn to analyze them. The older man had a long, white beard.  This must be Dumbledore,  Dazai thought idly. Certainly, the man fit his mental image of your stereotypical Merlin figure. The run-down Mori had given him suggested this Dumbledore character was some sort of big wizarding figure. The type who had his hands in wizard politics, for sure. Definitely someone to be cautious around. At Dumbledore’s side was a thin, greasy man with long-ish black hair. He seemed like a prickly sort of person at first glance, but Dazai could see there was something more beneath the surface. The fact that he couldn’t immediately tell what this man was hiding meant two things: 1) he was someone to keep an eye on, and 2) Dazai didn’t know nearly enough about the wizarding world. Being so out of his depth put him on edge. That, and being caged in by two strangers—at least he knew Mori was probably poking around  somewhere  nearby. “I’m Dazai.” He greeted, beaming easily, even though the name caught on his tongue. “I hear something about a school? Sounds boring!” Dumbledore’s laugh was like the twinkling of stars or rustle of feathers. The greasy-looking man, however, seemed to grow even more stern. “My name is Albus Dumbledore. This is Professor Snape. We’ve come to congratulate you on your acceptance to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.” “Wizardry?” He paused, as if considering the answer. Dazai put on his best ‘innocent child’ expression. He’d been practicing—the way his lips curved into a pout was only easy after so many hours spent staring into a mirror, pulling at his face. “Seems a bit absurd.” In return, the bearded one gave him a smile that was so patient, Dazai couldn’t help but feel a little offended. On the other hand, the greasy-looking fellow only gave him a look of scorn and disinterest. He briefly wondered if Snape could see through his innocent, childish guise but—well, that’s even more absurd than  magic . Anyway, the professor seemed more fed up with the whole situation that Dazai himself. “I thought you might say as much,” Dumbledore said, smiling still, “Say... where did your guardian wander off to?” “He’s around.” Dazai said, shrugging. As if he knows what that slimy doctor was up to. Probably scheming (and not telling him anything, as usual). Honestly, Dazai was almost wondering the same himself. Being alone in a room with two adult strangers outside of his realm of influence was enough to set Dazai’s spine ramrod straight. His only consolation was that Mori was probably around here  somewhere.  Snape growled lowly. “Well, is he going to be coming  back,  anytime soon?” “Probably.... shouldn’t you tell me more about this school, anyway?”  Move the conversation forward, gather information...  People were too easy. Again, Dumbledore just smiled pleasantly. And, really, Dazai hated having to sit around and have trivial details regurgitated at him. Still, he hummed and nodded along at all the right moments. While the headmaster went off about his school and about all he has to learn, Dazai busied himself with wondering what sort of spells might be lethal.  ----   ...there’s probably a spell for summoning water, right? Could he summon some right into his lungs? Like drowning without all the work of finding a suitable bridge...  When the headmaster cleared his throat, Dazai forced himself away from his morbid contemplations. He blinked up with an expression like he wasn’t already bored at the prospect of school Either way, Dumbledore and Mori seemed to see through it. “Severus will be back in one week to take you for school supplies. Until then... any questions, lad?” Dazai really,  really  wanted to ask about the killing curse. “Nope!” He grinned boyishly. Dr. Mori, who had come back five minutes earlier claiming he’d had to take a phone call, placed his hand on Dazai’s head and ruffled his fluffy hair a bit. Dazai tried not to pout, but it was a losing battle, really. At least it was better than the flinch he had actually managed to hold back. “Well, I think that will be all, then.” He hummed. “I trust Dazai will be in safe hands.” Mori said it like a threat, Dazai noted with idle humor. “Of course.” Only, these magic folks didn’t really rise to the bait. If anything, Dumbledore seems more accommodating—while Snape just seems more annoyed. Without pause, the headmaster nodded curtly and bid, “We best be off then... Dazai?” He blinked. “I look forward to seeing you at Hogwarts. Something tells me you’ll have a very interesting year, my boy.” Mori’s eyes narrowed slightly, and Dazai thought, interesting indeed.  The doctor easily ushered the wizard’s out the front door (Snape seeming rather eager to leave as it was). Dumbledore waved one last, pleasant (if unnervingly assessing) goodbye. The twinkle in his eye put Dazai on edge. The second the door snapped shut, Dazai whirled on Mori. “Are you going to tell me what the objective of this job is yet?” He said, voice flat and eyes dull. “Or am I supposed to just keep scr@w@ng around?” Mori’s smile was, as always, quite the sickening little thing. “That’s sounds good for now.”  Of course    it did.  The doctor must have read his thoughts, because he chuckled lightly. “Regardless, I do have to get back to work now. I’ll be back in a week to hear how your shopping trip went with Professor Snape. Do try not to kill yourself until then.”'
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