Part 1: For each parameter, circle the square in which the comments best reflect the content of your peer’s essay or presentation. Then, offer more specific feedback/comments under the Review Feedback column. 
	Domain	Stage	Theory	Reviewer Feedback: Please explain how your peer can improve this section.
Domain	The domain is clearly described in the first paragraph. 	The domain is introduced, but could use a little more detail.	The domain is unclear or not described in the first paragraph.	
Developmental Stage	The developmental stage is clearly defined. Major markers/mile-
stones of the developmental stage are presented. 	The developmental stage is introduced, but could be more clearly defined. Could use more examples of major milestones/markers of the stage.	The developmental stage is not clearly defined and/or milestones and markers of the stage are not presented. 	
Theory	A clear theory is introduced and major tenets of the theory are summarized.	A theory is introduced, but some major tenets are unclear or missing.	The theory is unclear or missing.	
Experience	The described experience is linked strongly to theory within the specified domain and stage.	The described experience is linked to the theory, but a stronger connection could be made. 	The described experience is not linked to the theory or is not within the specified domain or stage. 	
Clarity/Engage-ment	The essay is well written, with a clear introduction, body and conclusion. There are little to no technical/grammatical errors.	The essay is generally well written with an introduction, body and conclusion. There are a couple minor grammatical/technical errors but do not affect overall clarity.	The essay is missing a clear introduction, body or conclusion. There are several grammatical/technical errors which at times affect clarity. 	

Part II: Answer the following questions in essay form. Be sure to be clear in your responses to help your peers improve their draft.

1.	What does your peer do well in this assignment?

2.	What parts are unclear or a bit confusing? Why?

3.	What would you like to learn more about that can enhance the essay or presentation?

4.	What details do not work with the es
 

heres the essay

The Impact of Nutrition and the Foundations of Portion Control in Childhood
The developmental age of childhood is when children begin to gain some independence
and autonomy in their lives. They begin to pick their clothes out for school, form friendships
with children they choose to bond with, and begin to develop a palate for the foods they enjoy
and the ones they definitely do not (even though mom says it's healthy for me). This is a critical
period of physical growth and habit formation. Where children begin to “grow like weeds” and
require proper nutrition to fuel the long hours playing outside with friends. Proper nutrition
during childhood plays a vital role in supporting healthy physical development, but with a lack of
properly taught portion control, many children develop unhealthy eating habits that can lead to
health issues into adulthood. In my own development, this period in time could be called “the
bottomless pit era”.
Children need to consume nutrients to meet the growth demands required for bone and
muscle development, and to provide the energy needed to keep kids active and playing all day.
This is a crucial period where bone ossification develops rapidly, causing growth spurts, and
muscle formation increases for strength, speed, and gross motor skills. According to the U.S.
Department of Agriculture (USDA), children begin to learn about the importance of fruits,
vegetables, grains, protein, and dairy food groups and how they contribute to a healthy, growing
body. This highlights the importance of nutrient-rich eating habits and the amounts that should be
consumed in an easy-to-understand way for a young child. This is also a time when children
develop picky eating habits, when they discover that pizza and chicken fingers taste way better
Stephen Campbell
than broccoli and apples. A paradigm that some parents believe a child can consume whatever
they want and will have minimal effects on the child’s development down the road.
Childhood is a time when parents and caregivers must let kids start to experience life
without constant oversight. It is a time when they can start to form their own opinions and
develop habits that they can control. One concept that is not easily ascertained by children is
self-regulation. If there were no parental oversight at all, most children would live in a candy
store, have ice cream for breakfast every day, and have sleepovers with their friends every night!
Although the USDA does a great job of visualizing what portion control is to children in today’s
day and age, it's almost impossible for a child to have self-commitment to a restrictive eating
habit. Because of this lack of portion control, overeating can lead to health complications into
adulthood, including an increased BMI, risk of early diabetes, and slow developmental growth
due to a lack of exercise and a more sedentary lifestyle than a child should have during this
crucial, physical development stage in life.
The physical domain of my childhood development could be called “the bottomless pit”
because that's what I was as a child. For as long as I can remember, my family, including my
extended family, would all get together on any given Sunday for a big Italian feast. I’m talking
about enough food to feed an army, for about 15 people. I was told that “you do not let food go
to waste”, and that “people in other countries are going hungry tonight, you need to finish your
food”—which, even as I write that, does not make sense at all. But the most important one was
“You better finish your grandmother’s chicken parm, she’s gonna think you don’t like it if you
don’t finish it”. And for the sake of my Grandma’s chicken parmigiana, I engorged myself.
Because of this societal norm from my family that I had to finish all my food, I developed a very
Stephen Campbell
unhealthy habit with food, not only on family dinner night but every night in between. I would
eat large portions of proteins, carbs (very little fruits and vegetables), and then I would have
dessert, and I just consumed and consumed and consumed. Because of the lack of portion control
in my diet, my desire to go outside and burn all that energy off diminished, which led to an
increase in my BMI, resulting in childhood obesity in my own life. The family morals and
societal norms that my loved ones taught me about food led to a very unhealthy childhood. I will
never forget the day I realized I was overweight. I was 12 years old, shopping for new pants with
my mom for the start of 7th grade, and none of the normal pants at Kohl’s would fit me, so I had
to buy pants from the “husky boys” section. Changed my life forever.
In conclusion, proper nutrition and the need for portion control is so essential for physical
development as a child. Children need to fuel their bodies with the nutrients needed to grow big
and strong. It helps form and strengthen muscle, bone, ligaments, and other tissues in a
developing young person. But an overconsumption or even malnutrition can stunt proper growth
in children and lead to unhealthy habits and medical problems as you grow into adulthood. I
know that if I ever have a child, I will make sure they understand the importance of a healthy diet
and exercise — I never want them to feel different for having to wear husky jeans