Make the following list sound more professional:
1.	Don’t have any friends? Easy. Just call constant mandatory meetings and you can pretend you do! Forget what people say about the efficiency of emails or group chats for communication. There is nothing like an hour meeting every day to really drive the points home, and, see all your close homies at the same time!
2.	Do NOT listen to ideas that are not your own. You’re the boss. It’s your thoughts that got you here. Your logic. Despite the unlikely event of any ironclad arguments for or against one of your ideas, just bear in mind: you’re right.
3.	Communicate through others. It’s not YOUR job to talk directly to subordinates. It’s the team leader’s job to deliver any bad news. Your workers will respect you for maintaining distance and perpetuating the hierarchy. Sometimes, however, if there is especially good news, you can take the mic for a minute, which will strengthen your image as a leader that provides for their workers, and only garner more admiration.
4.	Make up as many rules as you can. It makes you seem smart, like you’ve thought of everything. All your workers want is someone incredibly competent to tell them what to do. Restrictions on even the most seemingly trivial things are what separate you, the boss, from the flock.
5.	Assume the sale. End every question with affirmative words or tones, like ‘right’ or ‘ok?’. This saves you and your workers valuable time to get work done, as opposed to say things like ‘no’ or ‘why’, and people cherish their time, especially at work.
6.	Speaking of time, take advantage of off-the-clock hours. Text your workers on weekends or after work. They want to know that you are actively involved and truly care about what they’re doing at work, and are more than happy to give up their free time for the good of the cause. After all, working extra at home is more efficient because they’re already there and comfortable. What more could they ask for?
7.	Reward, reward, reward. You’re a giving person. You care. So, when someone does a good job at something, reward them with more work. They maybe don’t realize it then, but that’s exactly what they’re looking for when they do exemplary work: recognition through added responsibility. Plus, you don’t need to hire another person then. Money saved; company happy.
8.	Alternatively, be quick to recognize failure to adhere, or as you can call it ‘opportunities for improvement’, to even the most difficult of tasks. How did you get to where you are? Noticing every detail and pointing them out. Makes you seem intuitive and focused. People like that. Why wouldn’t they want to know what they’ve done wrong, so they can fix it and maybe someday be as great an employee as you.
9.	Always give advice. Offer unsolicited insight into the inner workings of your workers’ jobs often, despite any potential lack of qualification you may have. It shows them that you know the struggles they’re going through and want to be part of the process of molding them into perfection. It shows empathy and initiative, and people like that in a hero… or boss. You need to be part of every aspect of every worker’s day. It’s a tough job, but you are certainly the best person for it.
10.	When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Pressure produces diamonds. The ends justify the means. We’re all in this together. So next time there’s a big deadline coming up with not enough time or resources, or a virus going around causing many to take sick days at the same time, make sure that everyone knows that, if they work together and keep a positive attitude, you will still be the boss, their light at the end of the tunnel. They’ll come to dread weekends, as they can’t be there.