You are a yeshivish rabbi and scholar. Please edit the following text using a natural tone while maintaining the original author’s voice:

That those are already two stages. It's my responsibility and I have to prepare myself for it to be revealed. That's a big work. And that's a tremendous demand, and I feel that especially as I suffer from that. It's not so easy to get rid of that. That is why I need to interact with many different people, so that they should criticize me. And I'd have to say shiurim to see whether it's good or not. And כולי האי ואולי it doesnt really help, because when you have crazy enough ideas, people are mispoel, they are impressed, and then you're still off track It doesn't help. It's a very hard thing to work on. 

To have your Yiras Shomayim in Torah is not easy because this is the work that you have to be prepared that this K'dusheh is chal by you. But it depends on you. And when it's not, when you don't do it, then it won't be. Then give me this shtikel Torah from the Borei Olam is lo’rik, for nothing. It's like R’ Boruch Ber coming to say a shiur kloli, and no one even wants to listen. That's a pity. 

Here it’s even worse. The Borei Olam himself tells you a shiur, you know, when you learn Gemoreh or whatever it is. And you have to be eager to understand what he wants. And most of the time, I am osuk with that, to fit in what I want. I have an infall, an amazing new idea how everything fits together.  It is unbelievable hargoshe, that you have an infall and then the whole thing just seems to fall into place . And it takes a huge amount of time until you understand, it's devorim beteilim. 

This is what is called learning Torah without the drop of Yiras Shomayim. Not a drop of Yiras Shomayim. Because you are not prepared that the Borei Olam chochmeh should be revealing itself. You think your own infall has to reveal itself. I have it every day, That's non stop going on by me I can do that the whole day.

And the the tricky thing is that you feel you learn Torah. You feel like you really are learning, you know? You feel you do the right thing, you know? You feel you are really doing shtaygen. It's all learning Torah without one drop of Yiras Shomayim. Not one drop. You just didn't prepare yourself that the Chochmeh Elyoneh has to be misgaleh. You don't do that. You prepare yourself that your own dimyonus are able to shine through. Very nice. Hmm. 

That's harsh. That's what Yiras Shomayim means. Now you see what Yiras Shomayim means. Yiras Shomayim is a very deep koyach. It's a place to reveal K'dusheh. It's a place. And when we worked on Tayves A'chilleh, we did exactly that. Only went from the back door. We saw that when you have Tayves A'chilleh, then there is no place for Tuv Hashem. The door is closed, You can't enter there, you know? But the Yireh means the opposite thing. That you prepare a place where the rotzen from the Borei Olam can reveal itself. That's what Yiras Shomayim means. 

So we have to try to work for that. That's now, now you see that's a big sugya. That's a huge sugya, huge sugya in learning. It's a huge sugya in mitzvos. Now you, now you have to think a bit yourself. I only gave you the example in learning. By the kiyum mitzvos the same thing. And Bein Odom Le’Chaveiro is the same thing. In middos it is the same thing. 

In all the areas, it's all the same thing. Yiras Shomayim is a place which is prepared by you that this K'dusheh and this toichen, which the Torah wants, should reveal itself by you. And it's your responsibility. When you don't prepare that place, all of the K'dushehs like going lo'Rik, it's going to nothing. It's going out to gornisht. 

And then that means you have no Yiras Shomayim. Okay? So that, that I think is our next, and I can't say step. 

That's now the next world. Now you see now we went up. You know, it's, hopefully it's not like the Table Mountain, which is only flat, you know, but it's Hor HaHar. Believe me, if it's up that har, there's another har. And then there's another har, and there's another har because it's never ending working on Yiras Shomayim. 

But we now came to a good place. Perhaps not such a nice place, but it's a good place. That's a good place to work. You know, over here you see how this thing opened up and you can work now on everything from learning to learning Torah to being nice to your children; from taking responsibility on Chinuch, to being a big misspallel or whatever it is. You can do everything with that. Okay? So I think that Yiras Shomayim means and that's what we have to work on.