Rewrite to be a hilarious adult comedy with sarcasm and comedic dumbness:

Michael Brandon: A Tale For Thomas. Sir Topham Hatt had a special for Thomas.
Sir Topham Hatt: You're to take two of Miss Jenny's machines to Maithwaite Forest. They're repairing the lightning tree.
Thomas: Yes, sir.
Michael Brandon: Said Thomas. Jack and Alfie were excited. They couldn't wait to see the lightning tree.
Thomas: Why is it called the lightning tree?
Michael Brandon: Asked Thomas.
Jack: It was struck by lightning.
Michael Brandon: Said Jack.
Miss Jenny: It's a very old and rare and special tree.
Michael Brandon: Added Miss Jenny.
Miss Jenny: It is why we need to repair it.
Alfie: But how will we know which one it is?
Michael Brandon: Asked Alfie.
Kelly: You'll know.
Michael Brandon: Kelly laughed.
Kelly: It's the biggest tree in the forest.
Miss Jenny: We need to proper up before it falls over.
Michael Brandon: Said Miss Jenny.
Miss Jenny: So be careful all of you, and remember...
Jack and Alfie: Safety first.
Michael Brandon: Jack and Alfie called. Jack and Alfie made their way to the forest.
Alfie: Look!
Michael Brandon: Gasped Alfie.
Jack: The lightning tree!
Michael Brandon: Cried Jack. The foreman had inspected the damage. Roots were pulled up. The lightning scar was long and deep. The tree looked like it was soon top it over. Jack and Alfie approach very slowly. They had remembered what Miss Jenny said about being careful. But Max and Monty were racing recklessly through the forest.
Alfie: Look out!
Michael Brandon: Cried Alfie.
Jack: You'll hit the tree!
Michael Brandon: Shouted Jack. But it was too late. Max crashed into Monty and Monty crashed into the lightning tree.
Monty: Who put that there?
Michael Brandon: Grumbled Monty.
Jack: The tree's falling down!
Michael Brandon: Shouted Jack.
Max: Not my fault!
Michael Brandon: Called Max.
Alfie: We must save it.
Michael Brandon: Cried Alfie.
Alfie: Help, Jack!
Jack: I'm coming!
Michael Brandon: Called Jack.
Oliver: Move aside, little fella.
Michael Brandon: Said Oliver. Oliver raised his mighty arm against the tree. But the tree was too heavy.
Jack: Kelly!
Michael Brandon: Shouted Jack.
Jack: We need more help!
Michael Brandon: Before long, Kelly was helping too. The three of them struggled to hold the tree up right.
Kelly's Operator: Get the props!
Michael Brandon: Called Kelly's operator. Jack raced off to get the props from Thomas. The machines strained to pulled up the tree. But they were getting very tired. Soon, the prop trolley had been attached to Jack and he was on his way. Thomas hoped Jack would get to the lightning tree in time. Jack went as his wheels could carry. Alfie pushed and pushed until his arm ached.
Oliver: I don't think I can hold this much longer.
Michael Brandon: Groaned Oliver. But Jack raced up just in time. The workmen soon attached the props. The lightning tree was safe.
Alfie: Hooray!
Michael Brandon: Grinned Alfie. Miss Jenny was pleased.
Miss Jenny: A terrific job.
Michael Brandon: She said.
Miss Jenny: The lightning tree is safe.
Michael Brandon: Kelly, Oliver, Jack and Alfie were proud.
Miss Jenny: But no thanks for you two.
<PRESIDIO_ANONYMIZED_PERSON>: She said to Monty and Max.
Miss Jenny: You'll return to the yard immediately.
Michael Brandon: Max and Monty were ashamed. They knew they were in trouble. Later, Thomas was taking Alfie and Jack back to Miss Jenny's.
Alfie: Look!
Michael Brandon: Cried Alfie.
Jack: You can see it from here.
Michael Brandon: Called Jack. It was the lightning tree. Thomas was glad it was saved.