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Assistant: Title: Urgent
        Author: Anonymous undefined 
        Chapter: 1/1 
        Summary: Their reunion takes a direction Stanley doesn't see coming.
        Contents: Summary:
            
              Their reunion takes a direction Stanley doesn't see coming.
            
        

        
  Notes:





    
      This is a rewritten repost. It's been so rewritten, it's almost a new story.
    




  





    
        
            Something like hope fills him, and seems to spill over into the generally exciting atmosphere, when the portal comes online.Because finally -  finally  - Stanford is going to be coming home. Stanley has rescued him. Thirty years. Thirty years of terror and fear lodged into the pit of Stanley’s stomach, thirty years of subterfuge, thirty years of the ever hated hustle to keep Ford’s mortgage in the black, thirty years of muddling through math and equations he barely understands, thirty years of pining. It may as well have been an eternity and yet - as Stan stands in front of the portal - it feels like Ford only left seconds ago.If there's one thing Stanley is sure of it is that their reunion will eclipse the contention and squalidness of their past. He's so sure in fact  that he hasn't spared a thought about their differences in years. He's focused solely on getting Ford back.When Ford doesn't immediately appear Stanley feels something achy and sick twist in his gut. His vision begins to swim, it’s not a possibility that Ford won’t come back. Stan can’t let himself believe it. Only then Ford does appear and it's like Stan's a marionette and all his strings have been cut. Relief and a contentment too intense for words spreads through him. He can barely keep himself upright. His knees almost buckle.He smoothes a hand down his front, tries not to feel self conscious in his Sunday best. He wanted to look good.Stanford looks good. Better than Stan certainly. Just the sight of him makes all of Stanley's neurons buzz. If anything, Ford looks much younger than Stan. It isn't surprising. He was always the trim one, the 'good looking' twin, and it only endears him to Stan because things haven't changed. He drinks in the sight of Ford, too in turmoil to register the angry stalk towards him.Stan reaches out for him then, closes his arms around him as soon as Ford's within his reach.If he'd taken a minute to process the look on Stanford's face he probably would have realized it wasn't a good idea.The first curl of a fist into his stomach knocks his breath straight out of him. "You f@ck@ng idiot." Stanford bites out and it's so good to hear his voice that Stanley can't bring himself to act in kind.The next hit pushes him over onto the floor."-ford." He says, just to say it."You have no idea how dangerous that was." It's even good to see the lines marked in anger on Ford's face.Stanley gets up then, if a little shaky."I saved you." He says, which is maybe the wrong thing to say." Saved  me?" Ford asks with something like breathless disbelief.He stalks forward and pushes Stanley. Stanley pushes back, marvels at the solidity under his fingertips. "A thank you would be nice." Stanley says."A thank you?!" Ford growls lowly just before he settles his fist into Stanley's stomach  again . "You think I don't remember what you did thirty years ago?!"He hits Stanley a couple times then, and Stanley tries to block, tries to fight back but he's easily, embarrassingly easily, overpowered. It’d be shocking - this is  Ford after all - but Stan’s too overwhelmed to feel it. He barely feels the hits.He ends up on his back on the floor, painfully, wheezily gulping for air. Ford's on top of him, presses into his diaphragm hard. Stanley's glasses are askew, his jacket button had popped off sometime during the struggle, and his shirt is half pulled out. His hat is missing and his hair is mussed and wild.Ford looks perfect. There's not a hair out of place. In his get-up he looks like some sort of avenging angel. Righteous fury burning in his eyes. That’s familiar, feeling like a screw up, but it’s been some time since Stan has been called on it, has seen the condemnation face to face. Abruptly it makes him feel shamed and he feels tears pr@ck at his eyes, struggles to control himself.The last thing Stanley expects is for a roving six-fingered hand to slip under his shirt, skin to skin, and up his side. It swipes down his belly then, pushing at the softness under Stan's girdle, as Ford's other thumb traces along his waistband. Their eyes meet and - Stan looks away quickly.Stanley isn't sure what's happening. There isn’t any way to make sense of the action. His face goes red anyway. He tries in vain to halt the wheezing pants leaving his mouth. His mouth opens and closes on Ford’s name, but like so many other things, the words don’t make it out.Then - a flurry of decisive motion - fingers hooking under Stanley's undershirt and hauling it up to nestle under his armpits. It's humiliating, is what it is. He's sure Ford is about to make some crack about his weight because why else would he expose Stanley like this?Ford's brow is furrowed in concentration as he undoes Stan's girdle and lets it fall to the wayside. It's demeaning and Stan feels a sob trying to claw its way out of his throat but he's able to hold it back, just barely."I never thought I'd see you again." Ford says calmly, evenly, "You understand that don't you?""Always knew I'd see you again." Stanley chokes out and it's the truth, the alternative had been unthinkable. Unlivable.Ford's fingers drag across Stanley's not so insignificant gut and he feels a fresh wave of heat hit his face. Of course he’s always been a little pudgy, but he’s always been the stronger one. It feels wrong to have Ford best him like this. He tries to smack Ford’s hands away but Ford easily cages his wrists and holds them down like it’s nothing. Stanley whimpers without meaning to."I knew exactly what I was going to do if I saw you again." Ford says flatly, very nearly absentmindedly. It's the way that he says it that causes the first true curl of unease in Stanley's gut."Are you okay?" he asks, because how could he not?His eyes search Ford's face but Ford is, well,  Ford . His thoughts, after their seperation, have always been impenetrable.Ford reaches for Stanley's belt."Ford - what are you -""Be quiet, Stanley." he says as he yanks Stanley's pants open with the least amount of care, backs off for a fraction of a second to drag them off of him along with his boxers.Stanley's face heats uncontrollably, though he isn't sure it's noticeable on top of all the other blushing he's been doing. He tries to sit up, is pressed back down.Ford  looks  at him, at every part of him. Like Stan’s a frog at the dissection table. Stanley pushes at him then and tries to cover himself with his hands only to have them caught in Ford's grasp for a second time. Ford presses them back down to the ground."I changed my mind." Ford's eyes meet his when he says it, "You can be loud."It sounds awfully suggestive. Despite himself, Stan feels a trickling heat start up from the base of his spine. This is his worst nightmare. He reminds himself that Ford can’t know."F-ford." Stanley stutters out shakily, he's had to have misunderstood."You got me back. I'm here. Just  let  me."Stanley doesn't say yes, it's too fast and he doesn't understand how they got there, but he doesn't say no either.   Afterwards Stanford can admit it was the wrong thing to do. He knew it was the wrong thing to do even before he did it - knew it even when the thought was first conceived in his mind. It hadn't seemed so damaging then. His only defense was that it had been a harmless fantasy. L@st twisted all through with an anguished desire to punish. Stanford's glad that part of it at least - the punishment - had only come across beforehand, hadn't crossed over into -He could see how badly he'd shaken Stanley. How meek he’d made him. His brother had trembled, had blinked dumbly, and Stanford had only dug his fingers in harder. Had pressed him against the dirty floor and -Still, and he tells himself firmly over and over, it's not like he  broke  Stanley. Stanley has to share some of the blame. Because Stanley could have said no, could have clocked him, could have fought harder. Stan's always been an easy target, and Ford has no qualms about pinning the blame squarely on him. Because the alternative…The alternative, that Ford has assaulted his brother - no matter how egregious Stan’s mistakes - after thirty years of his absence makes something tighten unpleasantly in Ford’s chest. Ford’s met monsters and men throughout his travels and sometimes they’re one in the same. Ford is not like them. He simply can’t be. He has more trouble, though, dismissing how it's affected Stanley. Even if it’s been thirty years, Ford knows his brother. Logically he knows he should feel some disconnect, percieve some difference in Stan. Instead it feels like he only left him some moments ago, like Stan is still standing with that horrified, wide eyed look, face crumpling in.Stanley won’t look at him.He never really meets Ford's eyes directly now - gaze always skittering self-consciously away. Worse, loud mouth Stan is silent - words fizzling out like defective sparklers every time Stan notices him near when he inevitably has to tend to Shermie's grandkids.Shermie’s grandkids. It’s difficult not to feel the offence of Stan taking his identity. Had Shermie really believed Stan was Ford? It’s infuriating. More infuriating is what Stan has done with his outpost. But everytime that cold, creeping rage begins all Ford has to think of is the way Stan looked pinned underneath him and it fades. Ford finds he has to give himself a reality check. When he was out there, standing on the precipice of the portal, he hadn’t given it a thought before he stepped through. He’d had important things going on and he’d left everything he’d built up in the last thirty years behind in a millisecond just to see Stan’s face again. He hadn’t dared to hope.It had felt unreal. That’s Ford’s only excuse for why he had…why he had lost control of himself. He dismisses any guilt he feels for ruining their relationship. Stan had ruined it long before then. He has to repeat that a few times to himself too, before he believes it.


Shermie's grandkids are a soothing distraction, even for Ford. Sure, they  love  Stan, and Stan loves them back but they’re intrigued by Ford. Ford can't deny it's adorable. More adorable is Stan with the kids - gruff, rough around the edges, and reluctant. If anything this side of Stan only feeds Ford's worst impulses. Impulses that are always lurking just a heartbeat away.Ford thinks about his brother's dishevelment that night, thinks  I did that  and feels heat flood him. Then he remembers demanding Stan look him in the eyes at one point, and he'd been inside him then, and feels shame. Stan hasn't looked him in the eye since.Even the kids notice something is wrong with their Grunkle Stan. There's a sullen, cautious edge to him that Ford doesn't remember from before. The kids comment on his outrageous laziness - as Mabel calls it - and his antisocialness, per Dipper. Of course kids would have trouble recognizing the warning signs of depression. He overhears the kids talking, though, about how at least Grunkle Stan doesn't wear his pajamas around anymore. He figures it's because Stan is too afraid to be undressed in front of him.And hadn't Stan dressed up for him? Ford remembers fine, soft wool under his fingers. Remembers Stan's flushed humiliation when Ford had taken his girdle. He remembers the shy way Stan curled in on himself, tried to hide his body with his hands.They don't talk, because Ford finds there isn't really anything substantial he can say. He wants to do it again. More than that, he wants Stanley to be able to look him in the eyes again.Lately, he’s been coming to terms with returning. His rage is finally extinguishing itself. He begins to look at the life - the home - Stan has built and at odd times finds himself appreciating it. Stan cooks, cleans, and takes care of the kids while Ford runs serious experiments. Ford’s had fantasies like this, when they were young, it’d been part of why he was leaving. He didn’t trust himself not to try and f@ck Stan through the deck of that stupid boat once they were out on the sea, away from society. Ford had privately thought he could talk him around.But that’s not what happened. The more Ford thinks about that night, removed from all those emotions that were present, the more dread seems to loom above him.For the first time in his life, he begins to wonder at his own reaction to the perpetual motion machine. Undoubtedly he was justified, everyone on his side. Only he knows his first enraged thought - that Stan made it so they’d sail away together with no intention of giving him what he wants. That had been the sticking point. Even if Ford doesn’t want to admit it. Something as vulgar as Stan taking away something he wanted and then not even giving him the consolation of spreading his legs. It’s an ugly way to see himself. Even if the larger issue had been despair at his future, it isn’t what he’d felt the most.He’s a little old for denial.

 Ford flounders. Even if he wanted to approach it, he doesn’t know how. His communication skills hadn’t been great even before the portal, thirty years of mayhem certainly hasn’t done them any favours. Only Stan had understood him wordlessly. Until their separation.Ford thinks back on Stan showing up outside his door thirty years ago. He’d been grubby and hungry looking. Clothing soiled and patched. Hair shaggy and unneatly chopped. He finds the box of old newspaper clippings and IDs. He patches together some semblance of a timeline. Stan was seventeen when he left, not yet a high school graudate. He’d been living in his car, homeless. And - and he’d been to jail. Been married and divorced.Ford wants to ask about all these things. It’s easy to resist the impulse, because he knows most of what he finds will just be damaging. That, and it will be unpleasant for Stan. Ford’s done enough. Ford knows he is causing him pain everytime he looks at him. Ford gets a sinking feeling everytime Stan’s gaze skitters away. For the first time, he considers that he should leave. Stan has the kids, and he has his doting employee. Even the townspeople seem fond of his brother. It’s a thought he doesn’t comtemplate further. Even if it’s the right thing, it’s impossible. It’s impossible for Ford to leave him now.   It's somewhere near the end of summer and Ford forgets sometimes that Dipper is just a child. The boy has been assisting him, and he's unusually bright which is why maybe Ford forgets.He snaps at him. It's a thoughtless comment after Dipper has just wrecked the small scale experiment they've been working on. Ford tells the boy if he can't handle such an easy task maybe he shouldn't even be assisting him.Dipper gulps and runs out of the room without another word.Ford grumbles, mostly at himself, knows he should go after him. He waits a couple minutes for Dipper to cool down. It's just as he's about to go find the boy that Stanley meets him at the door.Stanley, who hasn't dogged his steps for at least a week. Who still avoids his gaze. Ford will deny he's been missing Stanley's presence, even if sometimes it feels like a piece of himself is missing.The look on Stanley's face is stern, hot anger flashing through it. Ford hasn't seen that look in thirty years."Listen here Ford - " Stan begins, pushes a finger into his chest, "you can't go making the kids cry like that. You...you @ssh@l@!"Ford's so shocked at the outburst he doesn't respond. He can still feel where Stan touched him, like electricity."Go apologize and you better make it sound good Sixer or so help me God." Stan's glaring, and he's  looking  at Ford then.He's looking and he isn't cringing back. He looks a little embarrassed, maybe, but it's a little hard to tell under the weight of his passion. "Ford, are you even listening?!" Stan spits out then, expression tipping firmly into self consciousness.It occurs to Ford that Stan's not - not suffering exactly, not broken at the very least."Stan" Ford chokes out, and reaches out to grab his lapels. He even drags him forward a little before Stan slaps his hands away. Ford immediately lets go.Stan's face is red, at least a small part of it is disbelieving anger - the rest embarrassed coy flush. It’s a surprise."Really, Sixer?! E-Every time you have a problem  this  is how you deal with it?""Stan-" Ford tries again."Please. Pull the other one Ford. If...if you were interested at all you wouldn't have waited until now. I don't know why you - anyway that isn't important! Go apologize to Dipper!!" Stan's voice is really loud, near the end, and it makes Ford wince."Okay." Ford says."...well, okay then." Stan parrots back, as if he didn't expect it to be that easy.Stan looks suspicious. The blush is still high on his cheeks.Ford almost thinks it can't really be that easy. Stan can't have been waiting for  him.  “I am interested.” He says, voice hoarse.“Please Ford, you’ve never been interested in me.” Stan says.It’s the absolute certainty that nearly kills him.“What happened -”“We’re not doing this now.” Stan cuts him off. “Dipper. Now. Go .”“Wait here for me.” Ford entreats.He only leaves when Stan gives a short nod.

 Making up with Dipper is easy. Ford finds him, Dipper pretends not to be crying, Ford tells him his actions are unacceptable and that he’s sorry, they have a heartfelt moment and then Dipper runs off to find Mabel and relax for the rest of the day.Ford is almost afraid to go back to the lab. He doesn’t want to see that Stan isn’t there. But he goes and low and behold Stan is right where he left him. He’s touching the work bench, fingers trailing. The fluorescent lights look harsh on him.His eyes soften when he looks at Ford and then he sighs.“Those kids are my life now.” Ford nods even as the petty part of him rebels. He’s always been the focus of Stan’s life, even when they were apart. Those years where Ford didn’t know where Stan was, had nothing but dog eared postcards, Ford could still be assured Stan was thinking of him everyday. Same as the last thirty years.Stan shifts uncomfortably.“I let my feelings run away with me.” Ford explains, even though it’s a shoddy excuse.“Yeah, I figured. You’d never do that in your right mind-”Ford gets in his range and stops him with a hand on his forearm.“It was too sudden, that is regrettable. I never meant to damage you.” Ford’s trying to be earnest, trying to convey the regret he feels.Stan only scoffs.“Damage,” he says with a frown, something not sitting right in it, “Think you’re a few decades too late for that.”Even though the words are bitter Ford doesn’t cotton on right away. Instead, like a fool, he relaxes.“Ah, so you’ve done that before. I know it’s different - being me and all but -” the words dry up in Ford’s throat at the way Stan is looking at him.“Yeah.” Stan admits with some pain, “It’s different because it’s you.”Stan slides out of Ford’s orbit then and paces around the room. This is familiar.“Maybe you can help me understand Ford, why now? I mean…it seems you’re suggesting we do it again so it can’t just be a moment of madness on your part.”“It was. I never intended for it to happen. I certainly…regret some aspects of that night. In particular the bruises you wore for a week. But it’s done…and I ... want  you.”Stan keeps frowning. “What do you want?” Ford asks.Whatever Stan’s answer, Ford can live with it. It’s what he tells himself. If Stan doesn’t want to see him again - but Ford knows he’s beginning to panic for no reason. Stan’s always been devoted to him.“I want you to love me.” Stan admits, “But that’ll never happen. Being near you is the next best thing so…if that’s what it takes, I’ll do it.”The words freeze the blood in Ford’s veins.“I didn’t mean just s@x.” Ford spits curtly, backtracking. Again there is that same impulse to blame Stanley. Blame his stupidity for thinking Ford could make such a callous request. “I meant a relationship. I  meant sailing together on the Stan o’ War. Waking up next to each other and taking walks in the park.”The delivery is too condescending, Ford can recognize that. “That’s even crueler.” Stan says, and it’s so unexpected it hits Ford like a slap to the face. It must show in his expression because Stan rushes to explain, “I know you Ford. You’ll never forgive me for the perpetual motion machine. You’ll never forgive me for the portal. I can suffer and suffer and suffer for it, and it’s never enough for you. You - you didn’t even say thank you.”“Suffer?” Ford sneers faintly, it’s the only thing he can respond to in the moment. He waits for Stan to elaborate but it doesn’t seem like he’s going to say anything.And really - suffer? Yes, okay, Stan's obviously suffered a little, but not moreso than Ford. Ford's potential had been stolen from right underneath him, he's been robbed of the last thirty years. Stan showed up thirty years ago a little worse for wear maybe but that's it. Stan took over Ford’s beautiful pacific northwest outpost, got a scar out of it maybe… Ford’s eyes slide to Stan’s shoulder. Stan looks frustrated.“Oh I’m not talking about that Ford. I’m talking about being stuck here, frantic, stomach like a lead ball, every night for thirty years. Every moment outside of trying to pay your mortgage spent studying all that mumbo jumbo in your notebooks and not being f@ck@ng smart enough to bring you back.” Stan looks increasingly distressed as he goes on, Ford wants to stop him solely due to that fact but he can’t seem to interrupt, “It was my fault, just like you said. I lost you. Having to pretend I was you, to Mom and Dad and Shermie and know it was my fault they lost you. That Stanley was worth nothing to them. That I only had value when I was pretending to be you. And to know - I was seeing how it should have been. You and Mom and Dad and Shermie. I should never have - Dad knew what I was. He saw me for what I was. And after I took all that from you in high school, I ended up taking  more .”Ford’s gut is clenching in sympathy. He didn’t know Stan felt like that. “Stanley, it’s not like that.” He says softly.“Isn’t it? Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten about North West Tech. Those were some of the first words out of your mouth when you came back. Really, uh, blew my fantasy out of the water. That’d I’d save you and you would come back and we’d be okay. That we could get past it because we were together. That you’d thank me, like I was your hero or something. That you’d forgive me. The portal, sure, I know you’re not happy about my part in that. But it’s still North West Tech that’s your sticking point, right Sixer?”“And your suffering for that?” Ford asks, mouth dry. He wants to know. Feels paralyzed by fear, because maybe he can guess. Stan’s earlier comment about damage comes back and hits him like a ton of bricks. For a second he thinks he might faint.Stan goes absolutely pale. “The point is you can’t love me.” Stanley says with a set jaw, “and, you know…I accept. So we don’t have to make a big deal about it. I’m sure teenage me would be panting at this arrangement.”The joke isn’t funny and it makes Ford frown. Stan always being painted as the meathead recalls the past too vividly. The joke does allow Ford to glean the fact that Stanley’s had feelings for him at least as long as Ford has for Stanley. It makes his heart ache in his chest, he’s been a fool.“I can’t accept this.” Ford states firmly.Stan looks a little lost.“So then what, Sixer? You’re going to throw me out?”Ford closes his eyes. In his mind’s eye he can see the solution unfurl before him. A boat, an open sky. Stan’s been stuck for thirty years. He’s missed fulfilling so many dreams.“The Stan o’war II. The end of summer.” When Stan doesn’t immediately respond Ford opens his eyes, regrets that he has to add, “It’ll be easier if there’s two of us.”Like Stan is just the hired help. Ford expects some positive reaction from his brother but there isn’t one. There’s a look of trepidation on his face. Like maybe he’s going to be Ford’s bedwarmer after all. He wishes there was something he could say that would erase that doubt but the least he’s able to do is compliment Stan on the one thing he’ll accept.“You tell the children, I know they'd like to hear it from their favorite Great Uncle.”The way Stan softens at that reinforces Ford's will. And maybe that's why as Stan moves to leave Ford hits upon it. He feels monumentally stupid.“Stan,” he waits until his brother pauses and turns back, meets his eyes - finally meets his eyes, “About the portal - Thank you. I really mean that.”Stan's whole face changes, something lighting up, his eyes are teary when he answers and his voice is wet, "Any time Sixer."'
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