User: Roast it hard. Tear it apart with facts. Talk to me a bit rough and toxic, but fair. Context: 

Hendri sayang Zulfa… banget, saklawase, forever and always, tiada duanya, kaya intan permata sing berkilauan ning langit bengi, kaya srengenge sing nyinari bumi, kaya bulan sing ngganteni srengenge pas wengi, anget, lembut, penuh kasih sayang, ora iso dijelaske nganggo kata-kata, kaya ombak segara sing ora tau mandeg, kaya gunung sing gagah perkasa, kaya langit biru sing jembar, kaya wit sing kokoh akare, kaya kembang sing wangi, kaya manuk sing merdu suarane, kaya bocah cilik sing lucu lan nggemeske, kaya pelangi sing muncul sawise udan, kaya bintang sing pating krelip ning langit, kaya embun pagi sing seger, kaya angin sepoi-sepoi sing nggarai ngantuk, kaya surga sing indah, kaya mimpi sing manis, kaya permen sing legi, kaya coklat sing lumer ning lambe, kaya es krim sing adem ning tenggorokan, kaya musik sing merdu, kaya lukisan sing apik, kaya puisi sing romantis, kaya novel sing seru, kaya film sing nggarai baper, kaya sinetron sing gawe penasaran, kaya drama korea sing bikin nangis bombay, like Romeo loves Juliet, like Jack loves Rose, like Dilan loves Milea, kaya Rama cinta Shinta, kaya Laila tresna Majnun, kaya Galih lan Ratna sing tresnane abadi, kaya Rangga sayang Cinta,  kaya Habibie sayang Ainun,  like a flower needs the sun, like a bird needs to fly, like a fish needs water to swim, like a heart needs to beat, like lungs need air to breathe, kaya aku butuh kowe, kaya bumi butuh matahari, kaya kembang butuh banyu, kaya iwak butuh oksigen, kaya awak butuh mangan, kaya ngelak butuh ngombe, kaya wong kesel butuh turu, kaya wong lara butuh obat, like a key needs a lock, like a pen needs paper, like a ship needs a sail, like a car needs fuel, like a phone needs a charger, kaya HP butuh sinyal, kaya laptop butuh internet, kaya TV butuh listrik, kaya kompor butuh gas, kaya kipas angin butuh angin, like a song needs lyrics, like a book needs pages, like a movie needs a story, like a play needs a stage, like a dance needs music, kaya lagu butuh lirik, kaya buku butuh halaman, kaya film butuh cerita, kaya drama butuh panggung, kaya tarian butuh musik, like a painter needs a canvas, like a sculptor needs clay, like a writer needs a pen, like a singer needs a microphone, like a dancer needs a stage, kaya pelukis butuh kanvas, kaya pemahat butuh lempung, kaya penulis butuh pena, kaya penyanyi butuh mikrofon, kaya penari butuh panggung, kaya kopi karo gula, kaya teh karo susu, kaya roti karo mentega, kaya sega karo lawuh, kaya rujak karo bumbu, kaya gado-gado karo krupuk, kaya bakso karo mie, kaya soto karo nasi, kaya sate karo lontong, kaya pecel karo rempeyek, kaya gudeg karo krecek, kaya opor karo ketupat, kaya rendang karo sambal ijo, kaya pempek karo cuko, kaya batagor karo bumbu kacang, kaya siomay karo saos, like peanut butter and jelly, like salt and pepper, like cookies and milk, like bread and butter, like bacon and eggs, like mac and cheese, like spaghetti and meatballs, like pizza and soda, like burgers and fries, like cake and ice cream, like pancakes and syrup, like waffles and whipped cream, like strawberries and chocolate, like coffee and cream, like tea and sugar, kaya kowe karo aku, sing saling melengkapi, sing ora iso dipisahke, sing ditakdirke kanggo bersama, selawase, sak modare, until death do us part, till the end of time, to infinity and beyond,  sampe tuwek, sampe putune pitu, sampe buyuten,  sampe canggah, sampe wareng, sampe udheg-udheg, sampe gantung siwur, sampe gilir gumanti, sampe anak putu buyut canggah wareng gantung siwur kuwi wes lali sopo Hendri lan Zulfa, tresnane tetep langgeng, lestari, ora bakal luntur, kaya prasasti sing diukir ning watu, kaya legenda sing diceritakke turun temurun, kaya dongeng sing ora ana enteke,  kaya cerita sing terus berlanjut, ora ana tamate,  seperti cinta Hendri kepada Zulfa yang tak lekang oleh waktu, tak pudar oleh jarak, tak goyah oleh rintangan, bagaikan cinta sejati, cinta yang hakiki, cinta yang suci, cinta yang murni, cinta yang tulus, cinta yang abadi, cinta sing ora iso dituku nganggo duwit, cinta sing ora iso diukur nganggo materi, cinta sing ora iso dibatesi ruang dan waktu, kaya cintane Hendri marang Zulfa sing kaya lautan sing jero banget, kaya langit sing duwur banget, kaya bumi sing jembar banget, kaya alam semesta sing ora ana ujunge, kaya cinta ibu kepada anaknya, kaya cinta Tuhan kepada umatnya, kaya cinta manusia kepada Tuhannya, this is the kind of love that makes the world go round, the kind of love that inspires poets and songwriters, the kind of love that fairy tales are made of, the kind of love that everyone dreams of, and this is the kind of love that Hendri has for Zulfa, a love that is true, a love that is pure, a love that is everlasting, a love that will never die, a love that is… beyond words… terus mengalir deras, kaya kali Ciliwung sing ora pernah garing, kaya Bengawan Solo sing legendaris, kaya sungai Nil sing dawa banget, kaya sungai Amazon sing paling gedhe sak donya, kaya air terjun Niagara sing megah, kaya air terjun Angel sing paling duwur sak donya,  kaya danau Toba sing luas dan indah, kaya danau Victoria sing paling gedhe ning Afrika, kaya danau Baikal sing paling jero ning donya, kaya Laut Mati sing asine pol, kaya Samudra Pasifik sing paling jembar, kaya Samudra Atlantik sing misahke benua, kaya Samudra Hindia sing anget, kaya Samudra Arktik sing adem banget, kaya Samudra Antartika sing akeh es e, kaya gunung Everest sing paling duwur sak donya, kaya gunung K2 sing paling angel didaki, kaya gunung Kilimanjaro sing ana salju ne, kaya gunung Fuji sing terkenal ning Jepang, kaya gunung Krakatau sing pernah meletus dahsyat, kaya gunung Merapi sing aktif, kaya gunung Semeru sing gagah, kaya gunung Rinjani sing indah, kaya gunung Bromo sing eksotis, kaya pegunungan Himalaya sing mbentang luas, kaya pegunungan Andes sing dawa banget, kaya Grand Canyon sing spektakuler, kaya lembah Yosemite sing menakjubkan, kaya hutan Amazon sing lebat, kaya hutan Kalimantan sing luas, kaya padang rumput Serengeti sing banyak hewan liarnya, kaya gurun Sahara sing paling jembar, kaya gurun Gobi sing dingin, kaya kutub utara sing es kabeh, kaya kutub selatan sing penguin akeh, kaya bulan sing ngorbit bumi, kaya matahari sing ngorbit pusat galaksi, kaya galaksi Bimasakti sing kita huni, kaya galaksi Andromeda sing paling cedhak, kaya alam semesta sing terus mengembang,  kaya partikel subatomik sing cilik banget, kaya atom sing membentuk segala sesuatu, kaya molekul sing terdiri dari atom-atom, kaya DNA sing membawa informasi genetik, kaya sel sing unit dasar kehidupan, kaya jaringan sing kumpulan sel-sel, kaya organ sing kumpulan jaringan-jaringan, kaya sistem organ sing kumpulan organ-organ, kaya organisme sing makhluk hidup, kaya ekosistem sing hubungan antar makhluk hidup, kaya biosfer sing tempat hidup semua makhluk, kaya planet bumi sing kita tinggali, kaya tata surya sing ada delapan planet, kaya bintang sing jumlahnya triliunan, kaya galaksi sing jumlahnya miliaran, kaya alam semesta sing tidak terbatas, kaya cinta Hendri kepada Zulfa yang… endlessly, infinitely, eternally…
…dan terus berlanjut sampai universe ini kehabisan energy-nya dan black hole terakhir menguap, cinta Hendri ke Zulfa masih ada, bersemi di multiverse yang lain, di dimension yang berbeda, di timeline yang tak terhitung, di setiap quantum possibility, cinta mereka tetap exist, forever and ever, amen.
Assistant: Alright, buckle up, buttercup, because you're about to get roasted harder than a marshmallow left over the campfire all night. This love letter to Zulfa... it's not just over-the-top, it's orbiting Jupiter and sending back postcards.

Let's break down the facts, shall we? You're comparing your love, Hendri, to:

*   **The entire universe and everything in it, multiple times**: Not just our universe but also the multiverse. Not just stars, but all the black holes, all dimensions, and all the timelines. Every quantum possibility, even when the heat death of the universe happens, and the last black hole evaporates. Mate, you set the bar so high that if Zulfa ever mildly annoys you, this whole thing crumbles. You've basically said, "Zulfa, my love for you is like the existence of all that ever was, is, or will be," and then what? You gonna complain she didn't take out the trash?

    The universe's vastness, estimated at 93 billion light-years in diameter, is used as a metaphor here. Yet, this cosmic scale pales in comparison to the depth of your affection, suggesting a love transcending physical boundaries and enduring beyond the universe's lifespan, projected to be trillions of years.
*   **Natural Disasters**: You mentioned Krakatoa's eruption. You're literally comparing your love to a volcanic event that caused global climate disruption and killed tens of thousands. Romantic? I think not.

    The eruption of Krakatoa in 1883 is considered one of the most violent volcanic events in recorded history, with an estimated Volcanic Explosivity Index (VEI) of 6, equivalent to 200 megatons of TNT. This is a factually inappropriate comparison for love.
*   **Bodily Functions and Basic Needs**:  "Like lungs need air to breathe... kaya awak butuh mangan."  You're comparing your undying love to the involuntary act of breathing and the need to eat. That's like saying, "My love for you is as essential as my need to defecate."  It's biologically accurate, but come on, man, aim higher!

    The human body requires approximately 2,000 calories per day to maintain basic metabolic functions. The average person breathes about 22,000 times a day. These are facts of basic human survival, not grand romantic gestures.
*   **Inanimate Objects**:  "Like a key needs a lock, like a phone needs a charger." So your love is transactional? Utilitarian?  She's your charger, Hendri? Does she also come with a warranty?

    A standard phone charger delivers about 5 watts of power. I'm pretty sure Zulfa's worth more than a few watts.
*   **Food Pairings**: I lost count of how many times you compared your love to food. Peanut butter and jelly?  Sate and lontong?  You realize relationships are slightly more complex than a menu, right? "Kaya kopi karo gula," sure, if you want to say your love is bitter without her, but then you go ahead and compare your love to rendang and sambal ijo, which is delicious but hardly a universal symbol of romance.

    Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches have been a staple in American lunches since the early 20th century. The average American consumes about 3,000 PB&J sandwiches in their lifetime. Again, not exactly a unique or profound comparison for love.
*   **Fictional Characters**:  Romeo and Juliet? They died tragically after knowing each other for like, a week. Jack and Rose? He froze to death. Dilan and Milea? They broke up. You're setting yourself up for failure by comparing your love to these doomed romances.

    Romeo and Juliet's story spans approximately four days. The Titanic sank in under three hours. These are not examples of long-lasting, stable love.
*   **Like a song needs lyrics, like a book needs pages, like a movie needs a story:** You can have an instrumental song, or a movie that is all pictures, no story, or a book that is all blank pages. You are comparing your love to things that need something else to be complete, but not always. It's like you didn't think it through.

**Let's be real:** This isn't a love declaration; it's an avalanche of similes and metaphors. You've taken every single Javanese phrase and analogy you could think of and crammed them into this chaotic mess. It's like you threw a dictionary, a thesaurus, a cookbook, a geography textbook, and a "Top 10 Tragic Love Stories" list into a blender and hit "puree."

**My advice, Hendri?** Tone it down. About a thousand notches. Zulfa is a person, not a cosmic entity or a plate of nasi goreng. Tell her you love her, simply and honestly. Maybe bring her some flowers that aren't compared to a freaking supernova. And for the love of all that is holy, lay off the food comparisons. Unless she's a professional food critic, it's just weird.

You say this love is "beyond words," but you've used enough words to fill a library. Maybe try showing, not just telling. And maybe, just maybe, let Zulfa know she doesn't have to be the entire universe to be loved by you. Because honestly, that's a lot of pressure for one person.

This was a toxic but fair roast. You asked for it. Now go forth and learn how to express your love like a normal human being, not a walking, talking, over-caffeinated thesaurus. And remember, less is often more. Especially when it comes to comparing your girlfriend to a black hole. Or a volcanic eruption. Or a phone charger. You get the idea.

User: tulis dalam bahasa jaksel
Assistant: