I wrote a primary sources research essay on Latin Japanese Americans. I was given feedback and I want you to fix it according to the feedback. Do not make it shorter (make sure to keep roughly the same length). Here is what I have so far:
During World War II, the United States government implemented a policy that forced the
relocation and internment of over 120,000 Japanese Americans from their homes in the West
Coast and other parts of the country to remote internment camps. This is taught in the normal
history classes. What isn't as well known is that this policy was implemented
under the guise of national security; however, it resulted from longstanding racial prejudices and
wartime fear. What is even less known is that there was a subcommunity within that community
that was targeted even more- the Latin-Japanese community. When I first learned about my
topic, I discovered many things I never knew happened. So, I want to raise awareness on this
topic because I realized that not many people know about what happened during World War 2.
Upon discovering the wealth of information available on the experiences of Latin
Japanese Americans, I found the subject matter to be an ideal research topic, particularly
focusing on Peruvian Japanese individuals. In order to gain a more in-depth understanding of
what this group endured in their situation, I decided to examine the life of Art Shibayama, a
Japanese-Peruvian who faced various challenges and hardships throughout this period. My
research question is; how did the deportation of Peruvian-Japanese affect Art Shibayama?

Early on my research journey, I was intrigued to explore the perspectives of Japanese
Americans regarding the deportation of Japanese-Peruvians, as it reveals how similar
discriminatory policies were implemented in both the United States and Peru. To that end, I
delved into the interview of Tetsujiro "Tex" Nakamura, where his thoughts and reactions upon
discovering Japanese-Peruvians' plight were silenced. Like myself, Tex expressed shock and
disbelief upon learning that people were being forcibly removed from their homes, "kidnapping",
as he described it. This word was powerful because Art was 13 when that exact thing occurred.
Towards the conclusion of his interview, Tex offered a compelling point, questioning the
legitimacy of then-President Roosevelt's involvement in South America. Tex mentioned, "...the
FBI didn't have any rights, authority to be in South America to pick them up. And the Peruvian
government was hostile to some of these groups." This line of reasoning opens up a discourse
about different governments' reach, their policies' impact on communities, and the ethical
implications of such actions. This is why raising awareness about this issue and issues alike is
important.
In a letter highlighting the perspectives and sentiments of key political figures during
World War II, United States Ambassador Henry Norweb outlined his observations from a
meeting with the Peruvian President regarding the war effort and the treatment of individuals of
Japanese descent in Peru. Norweb noted President Prado's belief that victory in the war was a top
priority; and also highlighted the President's keen interest in addressing the presence of the
Japanese population in Peru. As Norweb wrote, President Prado was concerned with possibly

getting rid of the Japanese in Peru and sought to resolve this issue by considering the repatriation
of thousands of Japanese individuals.
The content of this letter is of particular interest for several reasons. Firstly, Ambassador
Norweb seemed to imply that the repatriation of Japanese individuals could contribute positively
to the primary objective of winning the war, thereby suggesting that this matter was a topic of
discussion among members of the U.S. government. While it is important to be cautious in
concluding the stance of the entire U.S. government from one letter, it nevertheless offers
valuable evidence of the consideration given to the issue.
Secondly, the letter provides a revealing look into President Prado's attitudes towards
Japanese-Peruvians, which bear striking similarities to sentiments expressed by American
officials regarding Japanese-Americans during the same period. The open display of prejudice
and discrimination and the establishment of camps underscores the willingness of both
governments to violate the rights and freedoms of their citizens in the name of security and
victory in the war. It is scary to think that we have willingly had people in positions of power
who make such incompetent decisions.
Significantly, this documentation also exposes the harsh reality that discrimination and
prejudice were not exclusive to the realm of white Americans but were also manifested in the
actions and attitudes of other minority groups. The revelation that one minority would actively
discriminate against another was jarring to me. Moreover, the letter raises important questions
about the broader issue of corruption in governmental leadership, as the rights of innocent

individuals were disregarded in pursuit of war victory. By examining these sources, we can gain
deeper insight into the multifaceted nature of discrimination that Peruvian-Japanese individuals
like Art had to endure.
While researching Japanese Peruvians' experiences, one of the first interviews I
encountered significantly caught my attention and helped solidify my research topic. The
interview, featuring Diana Cole discussing her brother-in-law, Art Shibayama, proved incredibly
insightful, providing an overview of Art's experiences and revealing aspects of
Japanese-Peruvians' lives that I had previously been unaware of. Though I must emphasize that I
cannot generalize the experiences and circumstances of the entire Japanese-Peruvian community
from this one interview, many of the events and hardships faced by Art Shibayama seem to be
emblematic of the larger struggles endured by this group.
One of the most striking aspects of the interview was the revelation that, like
Japanese-Americans, deported Peruvians were essentially left to their own devices, with little to
no support or assistance from the government. This undoubtedly amounted to the challenges they
faced, such as adjusting to a new country and overcoming the barriers created by the linguistic
and cultural differences with their American counterparts.
Upon further investigation into the experiences of Latin Japanese Americans, I came
across a letter to the editor written by Michi Weglyn for the Washington Post, which brought to
light yet another concerning development. The letter revealed to me that when redress was
granted to Japanese Americans in 1988, Latin Japanese Americans were excluded from receiving
compensation due to their immigration status. In effect, this population was subjected to a series

of injustices. The United States created a dire situation for Japanese Americans; for
Latin-Japanese and Art, they just took a step further than that. First, they were forcibly brought
to the United States; next, they were interned in camps; and finally, they were denied redress
because of circumstances that were entirely beyond their control. It is a clear injustice, and more
people- Americans especially- need to learn what happened to these humans. Considering the
existence of this information, it substantiates the fact that there were people who had the
discernment to perceive the unjust and inequitable treatment experienced by Latin Japanese
Americans under the government's jurisdiction. These individuals showcased a profound level of
empathy and understanding as they felt deeply troubled by the prevailing circumstances and
consequently felt compelled to take action. Such proactive behavior taken by these individuals
indicates that the situation was undoubtedly a matter of significant concern, warranting their
attention and intervention.
Upon diving further into Art Shibayama's life story, I discovered that he was indeed
among the privileged class while living in Lima, Peru. Having found a picture of Art with his
family posing casually next to a rather fancy car and dressed in elegant attire, it became apparent
that his family shared in this wealth. Interestingly, Art's family, which comprised five younger
siblings, was able to maintain this affluent lifestyle and status despite the inherent financial
challenges of raising a large family at the time.
In another striking photograph, the family is portrayed in the comfort of their home - a
dwelling that further reflects their impressive financial standing. It seems pretty luxurious. It is
difficult to look at these images, capturing a once-thriving household, without feeling a sense of

injustice and loss for what was to befall Art and his family. When life changed irreversibly for
Art Shibayama, it was a significant blow to not only Art but his entire family as well. In being
forcibly relocated to the United States, Art's parents not only had to leave their prosperous life
behind but they were also separated from their children, shattering a once-happy family unit. For
Art and his siblings, it meant the loss of their childhood innocence and the comforts of a
well-provided upbringing. Instead, they were faced with a grim reality - one where Art had to
relinquish his education in order to work and support his family.
In looking at the Shibayama family's life before their deportation, it is evident that the
situation was nothing short of dehumanizing. Art's story serves as a stark reminder of the
unfairness that life can bring and the impact it can have on not just one individual but on an
entire family unit. The Shibayama family's experience compels us to reflect on our own lives and
consider others who, like Art and his family, have had their prosperous and content lives turned
against their will.
In my research on Art Shibayama, I stumbled upon a striking and symbolic photograph
taken within the confinement of Crystal City Internment Camp in Texas. The photo features a
group of young internees, including Art, dressed in uniforms and gloves, kneeling on the ground
before their baseball bats and balls. Dominating the background is a bleak barrack, conveying the
reality of their confinement. The photographer responsible for capturing this arresting image
remains unknown; however, it appears that the decision to showcase these young internees
engaging in an American pastime was a deliberate one. By presenting this to the likely American
audience, the photograph acts as a vehicle to suppress prevailing ideas of these children as a

threat to society. Amid the height of baseball's popularity at the time, this classic touch serves as
a reminder of the internees' common ground with the captors.
This striking image invites the viewer to question how these innocent teenagers, who
shared the same cultural interests as their American contemporaries, could have been subjected
to such harsh treatment. By engaging in a game integral to American culture, the photograph
highlights the absurdity of their imprisonment.
Another photograph, capturing the moment of seven servicemen in uniform proudly
posing together, prominently features Art on the far right, which is of notable significance due to
its representation of his unfaltering dedication to his country amidst an atmosphere of
discrimination. Serving as a crucial addition to my collection, this image bears testimony to Art's
unwavering commitment to the adoption and integration of American ideals within every aspect
of his life. During this tumultuous period, Art was compelled to adapt to the changing landscape,
going so far as to reshape and reframe the course of his life in reflection of these values.
Moreover, this visual document serves as a window into a distinct phase of Art's existence,
illustrating the development of his life's narrative as it unfolds in response to the shifting political
climate (namely, with the emergence of internment policies). Through careful research and
consideration, it becomes evident that this photograph not only captures a brief moment in time
but also memorializes the remarkable strength of character and unwavering loyalty that Art-and
other Peruvian Japanese- displayed in the face of adversity.

Upon encountering another interview featuring Art, I was struck by a profound personal
revelation. The interviewer inquired about the circumstances under which Art's children finally
learned the entirety of his story, considering that it had not been a topic of discussion when they
were young. This notion deeply resonated with me because my professor emphasized that
Japanese Americans often refrained from sharing their experiences with their children as a
protective measure. Remarkably, this recurring theme of silence is evident in Art's account as
well. My ultimate goal is to challenge and break through this veil of silence surrounding these
narratives, as it has become apparent that many Americans remain largely uninformed about this
crucial aspect of history. By shedding light on these untold stories and giving a voice to those
who have long remained unheard, we can contribute to fostering understanding, empathy, and a
heightened awareness of historical injustices that must not be forgotten or repeated.
Previously, I had made a personal discovery through the writings of Michi Weglyn that
Latin-Japanese Americans found themselves abandoned after being deported to the United
States. These individuals were met with further treachery due to complications with their
immigration status, which led to them being denied rightful compensation. When I encountered
the oral report segment of Art Shibayama, it immediately resonated with me, as it highlighted
Art's moment of injustice. Art was not only denied compensation, but the amount they gave - a
meager $20,000 - was insufficient reparation for the tribulations he had endured. Such
mistreatment by the authorities would understandably have left anyone feeling overwhelmed
with frustration and fury. A government that truly champions equality and justice for all would
have acknowledged this and acted accordingly.

Further into the segment, Art recounted his persistent pursuit of justice. He approached
the Asian Law Alliance in search of legal assistance, only to be disappointed multiple times
again. It was suggested that he re-enter the country, obtain permanent residency, and then seek
compensation. Additionally, Art pointed out that many others attempted the same course of
action but were ultimately unsuccessful. He cited the Mochizuki case as an example.
Remarkably, these cases managed to navigate the judicial system on multiple occasions,
repeatedly exposing the government's culpability and lack of true remorse for its actions.
I was given this feedback, fix it accordingly please: 
Make sure that you aren't summarizing sources because this is a research essay, rather you want the content in the sources and the people in the sources to make up the essay and you don't want to come in with any preconceived notions essentially. You want the sources to speak for themselves.
Approach the topic with these questions : how is this like what we know with what happened with Japanese American citizens? How was it different (one major issue was that Latin-Japanese Americans didn't receive reparations when Japanese-Americans did, and they became stateless citizens)?
make sure you keep in mind what it is you want the reader to know or why they should care

In the introduction make sure to include how this happened after the Civil Rights Movement and people were entitled to rights, yet these people were far from receiving them because they weren't considered citizens
Give the essay depth by including the date when Japanese-Americans achieved redress, and say that that date wasn't a contribution to Latin-Japanese Americans because they weren't citizens so they didn't receive the benefits
Organize your essay not by sources by source and case by case basis, look at the themes of all of these sources and present your findings with those patterns or takeaways
Make a smooth transition between from when you give the overview of all Peruvian-Japanese Americans to then connect it to the specific family and person you will be talking about; Art Shibayama.