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 in your life as playing a role assigned
to them a role that someone has to do
that there there is no version of the
Earth where there are not annoying
obnoxious awful people right then you
can accept them you can tolerate them
you can also understand right that they
are in a minority was inevitable that
eventually you would bump up against one
of these people and now you have and
it's no more and no less than
that thank you to betterhelp for
sponsoring this video a longtime
supporter of the daily stoic and I think
what they do is important in relation to
stoicism cuz there's this image this
stereotype of the invulnerable stoic the
person who never needs help who never
asks for help this is something the
stoics themselves very explicitly push
back on in meditations Markus serus
talks about how we're like soldiers
storming a wall we have to ask an a
comrade for help he says so what if you
need help if you want to talk to someone
so what in fact I think it's a positive
good I think it's something you should
do better help is the world's largest
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right
now Marcus aurelius's reminder is a
life-changing one he says you don't need
to have an opinion about this he says
you always have the power of having no
opinion if it's pointless gossip if it's
trivia if it's something that doesn't
concern you if it's something you have
zero control or influence over just let
it be don't have an opinion you don't
have to say it's positive or negative
epic tieta says it's not things that up
set us it's our opinions about those
things it's our judgment about those
things so we have the power to not think
about it to tune it out to focus on what
really matters to try to put our energy
and Our intention on where we can make a
difference on where we do have control
and if other people want to be concerned
with them if other people want to be
riled up or have opinions about them if
it's their job to do it leave it to them
meanwhile you let it float on by like
the clouds and you stick with what's up
to you
in book 11 of meditations Marcus talks
about something that must have been very
common for him which is that people
didn't like him people cursed him they
criticized him they questioned his
Integrity his commitment all these
things so in book 11:13 he says someone
despises me that's their problem mine he
says not to do or say anything
despicable he says someone hates me
their problem he says mine and this is
the prescription of sto he says mine is
to be patient and cheerful with everyone
including them ready to show them their
mistake not spitefully or to show off my
own self-control but in an honest
upright way that's what we should be
like inside he says and never let the
gods catch us feeling anger or
resentment I just think that's a
beautiful kind of Jiu-Jitsu of it is
like look if someone doesn't like you
that's their problem that's something
they're carrying around it doesn't
affect you if you didn't know about it
you wouldn't think about it at all and
the important thing is you don't let it
change you you don't let it affect you
don't let it make you like them you just
lock on to what you have to do and you
try to be patient and kind you try to
think better and do better for other
people than in fact they might ever even
think of doing for
you if you do anything that matters
people will have really strong opinions
about you that's just like a fact of
life if you don't like that don't do
anything and we can imagine that people
had strong opinions about Marcus reles
and senica and epicus anyone that's ever
put themselves out there in the realm of
ideas or in the in the arena of life
people have criticized you have to be
able to tune that out Mark says we love
ourselves more than than other people
yet for some reason we care about their
opinions more than their own I love I'll
get criticized for my books the person
be like oh he did X Y and Z as a
criticism but it's like that's exactly
what I was trying to do and you realize
oh not only is this person's opinion
like not worth listening to if you heard
it properly you'd see that they were
actually complimenting you so you you
have to you have to be able to to tune
out what other people say and do you
have to focus on what you do that's what
the Stokes say to develop kind of an
inner scorecard where you understand
what you were trying to do how you judge
or measure your success and it can't
have anything to do with critics with
doubters with haters with your parents
with your spouse it it has to be based
on your own understanding of what you're
trying to do of who you're trying to be
as a person that's what matters and
that's what you measure Yourself
by one of the things we have to strive
for as stoics is to have better
boundaries sto talk about being
self-contained about not being rattled
by what's happening outside of managing
your own crap of controlling the inner
Citadel your own soul not vomiting your
stuff onto other people that's part of
it but also not allowing other people to
vomit all over you their problems their
issues their their lack of self-control
the things they want from you you have
to sort of keep up some defenses you