Canh thời gian giữa 2 file srt

Kiểm tra và sửa lỗi chính tả, giữ thô tục

So sánh nội dung

Khi hợp nhất hai file, chọn câu có ngữ pháp, chính tả, và ngữ nghĩa đúng hơn. Nếu cả hai đều đúng nhưng khác nhau, kết hợp các phần để tạo câu hoàn chỉnh nhất mà không rút ngắn câu thoại không phải cảm xúc.

Giữ nguyên các dòng chỉ có trong một file(không liên quan thì xoá), gán thời gian mới nếu cần (cho phép chồng lấn thời gian).

giữ tất cả các tiếng kêu cảm xúc(cảm xúc quá dài thì cắt bớt cho ngắn lại, dài bình thường thì không sao).

Chia đoạn ngắn gọn, giữ lặp lại cảm xúc, không gộp câu ngắn.

Chia đoạn ngắn gọn là (chia đoạn) chứ không phải là rút ngắn lại.(có thể loại bỏ không liên quan trừ cảm xúc)

Không rút ngắn bất kỳ câu nói nào không phải tiếng kêu cảm xúc, chỉ xử lý các tiếng kêu dài theo yêu cầu.

Trả về một file SRT hợp nhất

file 1:
1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,100
Christy, Christy, come here, come here, come here.

2
00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:03,480
What? What is it? What?

3
00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:05,080
Come here. Shh, shh, shh, shh.

4
00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:07,160
Wash your lips. Wash those pretty lips.

5
00:00:07,839 --> 00:00:08,400
Alright, listen.

6
00:00:09,439 --> 00:00:12,500
Have you ever heard that spooky, spooky story?

7
00:00:13,120 --> 00:00:16,460
The old tale that the kids used to say in high school?

8
00:00:16,940 --> 00:00:17,740
What? What story?

9
00:00:17,780 --> 00:00:19,940
Shut, shut, shut your mouth. Shut those pretty lips.

10
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:21,859
Here's how it goes, okay?

11
00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:24,640
If you ever find a broken mirror,

12
00:00:25,740 --> 00:00:27,980
you walk in front of it with a flashlight,

13
00:00:27,980 --> 00:00:30,820
and you say PogChamp three times,

14
00:00:30,980 --> 00:00:32,799
then you turn the light off,

15
00:00:33,460 --> 00:00:37,020
and they say a mentally challenged child will appear

16
00:00:37,020 --> 00:00:40,260
and teach you how to get dubs in Fortnite.

17
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,840
But it's probably just a dumb story.

18
00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:46,500
We can try it, though, if you want.

19
00:00:46,519 --> 00:00:47,320
No, no, no, let's try it, let's try it.

20
00:00:47,340 --> 00:00:47,980
You want to try it?

21
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:49,280
Yeah, let's do it.

22
00:00:49,679 --> 00:00:50,159
Alright, ready?

23
00:00:50,679 --> 00:00:51,740
On the count of three, okay?

24
00:00:52,380 --> 00:00:52,780
Okay.

25
00:00:55,340 --> 00:00:57,040
One, two, three.

26
00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:01,640
PogChamp, PogChamp, PogChamp.

27
00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:02,860
Now turn the light off.

28
00:01:05,980 --> 00:01:08,540
Alright, now turn the light on, turn the light on if I'm creepy.

29
00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:11,120
Poggers!

30
00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,680
Break it, break it! Get out, get out!

31
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:28,980
Guys, come in here.

32
00:01:28,980 --> 00:01:30,480
There's something very cool in here.

33
00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:31,980
Uh, Christy, don't go...

34
00:01:31,980 --> 00:01:32,980
I've got a thing.

35
00:01:32,980 --> 00:01:35,480
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what is that?

36
00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:36,980
What is that?

37
00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:38,980
I don't fuck with spooky shit.

38
00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:40,980
It's a Ouija board, not a quota board.

39
00:01:40,980 --> 00:01:41,980
That's Mario's brother.

40
00:01:41,980 --> 00:01:45,980
I ain't messin' with that, man.

41
00:01:46,980 --> 00:01:49,980
Whoa, it's glowing, it's glowing!

42
00:01:49,980 --> 00:01:51,980
Put it down, put it down!

43
00:01:51,980 --> 00:01:53,980
Dude, it's glowing, you shouldn't have messed with it!

44
00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:55,980
Oh, fuck.

45
00:01:55,980 --> 00:01:57,980
Now's the question, spirit.

46
00:01:57,980 --> 00:02:02,069
Dear ghost, is Rikid gay?

47
00:02:03,980 --> 00:02:07,980
This thing doesn't even work, dude. It's so lame.

48
00:02:07,980 --> 00:02:09,980
Christy, don't touch it.

49
00:02:09,980 --> 00:02:11,980
I don't think we should be messing with this.

50
00:02:11,980 --> 00:02:13,980
Wait, put it down, put it down.

51
00:02:13,980 --> 00:02:15,980
No, that's not how it works, dude.

52
00:02:15,980 --> 00:02:17,980
You don't even know how to use it, dude.

53
00:02:17,980 --> 00:02:20,980
Do you like Fortnite Battle Royale?

54
00:02:20,980 --> 00:02:22,980
What is your Fortnite in-game name?

55
00:02:23,980 --> 00:02:26,980
Oh my God, look what you've done, Rikid, stop!

56
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,979
You're gonna mess with it, dude.

57
00:02:28,979 --> 00:02:30,979
Did I get my period? I shat blood.

58
00:02:30,979 --> 00:02:32,979
Where is pee stored?

59
00:02:32,979 --> 00:02:34,979
I don't understand, Rikid, give me that thing.

60
00:02:34,979 --> 00:02:39,979
My dad messed with the Ouija board once, now he listens to Maroon 5.

61
00:02:39,979 --> 00:02:43,979
Oh, fuck, that's terrible.

62
00:02:43,979 --> 00:02:48,979
Oh my God, Josh, is he possessed?

63
00:02:48,979 --> 00:02:53,979
Nah, that's just how he always is.

64
00:02:53,979 --> 00:03:01,939
Alright, spirit, what do you think of her?

65
00:03:01,939 --> 00:03:07,280
K-I-T-C-H-E-N.

66
00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:13,379
Kitchen, kitchen, kitchen.

67
00:03:13,379 --> 00:03:20,919
According to the spirit, you need to go back downstairs, alright?

68
00:03:20,919 --> 00:03:26,359
This is a boys' Ouija board only.

69
00:03:26,359 --> 00:03:30,760
Mr. Spirit, what do you think of the female race?

70
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:34,300
Oh, oh, oh!

71
00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:37,949
K-I-T-C-H-E-N, God damn it.

72
00:03:37,949 --> 00:03:41,129
Christy, just go to the kitchen, it doesn't want to talk to us.

73
00:03:41,129 --> 00:03:44,550
It's not gonna talk while you're in this room.

74
00:03:44,550 --> 00:03:47,610
You've got to go make a fuckin' sandwich.

75
00:03:47,610 --> 00:03:48,750
Fuck off.

76
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:50,129
Sexist.

77
00:03:50,129 --> 00:03:54,240
Ham and cheese croissant, please. Thank you.

78
00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:58,980
How many wins you have in Fortnite? Oh, it moves!

79
00:03:58,980 --> 00:04:00,770
One, what a fuckin' noob.

80
00:04:00,770 --> 00:04:05,629
Yeah, like, dude, what's the most kills you've ever gotten in a single match of Fortnite?

81
00:04:05,629 --> 00:04:08,289
Oh, four, five, forty-five?

82
00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:10,150
This guy's a hacker, definitely a hacker.

83
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:18,939
How much for a blowjob? Oh, five, two, two fifty-two.

84
00:04:18,939 --> 00:04:26,980
How many inches is your peenie? Oh, zero.

85
00:04:26,980 --> 00:04:31,400
It has a zero-inch penis? I think so.

86
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:37,389
It could be a woman or it could be pro-Jared.

87
00:04:37,389 --> 00:04:47,420
If I came on the Ouija board, would I make a demon? That's a good question, seriously, tell me!

88
00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:55,300
We know how to deal with you, Mr. Ouija board. Is pee stored in the balls?

89
00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:59,240
Whoa, oh!

90
00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:09,819
My God, dude, did you see that? This thing's working, dude!

91
00:05:09,819 --> 00:05:13,879
Okay, it's weird, ask it again.

92
00:05:13,879 --> 00:05:18,139
Is pee stored in the balls?

93
00:05:18,139 --> 00:05:26,520
M-A-S-T-E-R bedroom, oh no!

94
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:37,560
Pee is stored in the master bedroom? Really?

95
00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:44,500
This one room? Alright, listen, Mr. Spirit, sir.

96
00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:52,280
How much cum do you produce daily? Oh, fifty-two gallons!

97
00:05:52,280 --> 00:06:02,780
Fifty-two gallons of semen every day? Wow, no wonder he died, he had fat nuts!

98
00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:07,220
Well, guys, this is working.

99
00:06:07,220 --> 00:06:18,879
My God, where's Christy? Where the fuck did Christy go?

100
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:27,740
We're leaving, wait, I need to know where Christy is. Steak and blowjob day is next month!

101
00:06:27,740 --> 00:06:37,560
What am I gonna do?

102
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:55,589
If this made Christy and Rikid disappear, I'm taking this straight to Amy Schumer's house.

103
00:06:55,589 --> 00:07:03,840
Guys, do you know where we are? Do you know what this door leads to?

104
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:13,639
This is where every kid was created. This is where you were made. I knew that door looked familiar.

105
00:07:13,639 --> 00:07:19,680
I was the one who smashed the window. I tried to break out.

106
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:27,660
You still got the key? Yeah, I think this is the right key.

107
00:07:27,660 --> 00:07:40,020
Really spooky serious stuff, guys. So no more messing around, okay?

108
00:07:40,020 --> 00:07:55,320
We need to find out how Rikid was made. This place has been abandoned for a long time, no one's around.

109
00:07:55,320 --> 00:08:01,500
Does this corridor look familiar at all? What?

110
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:10,060
Sniff it out, boys, sniff it out. Sniff out where you were born. What is it?

111
00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:15,219
Thank you.

112
00:08:15,219 --> 00:08:19,420
Stop, now's not the time for blanky.

113
00:08:19,420 --> 00:08:25,300
RIKID! What an idea!

114
00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:32,519
Remember these? My zannies from when I was a little baby. Sniff it out, get the scent.

115
00:08:32,519 --> 00:08:37,519
It's gonna work, Christy. He's got the scent!

116
00:08:37,519 --> 00:08:41,519
Whoa, what's happening?

117
00:08:41,519 --> 00:08:47,519
We're getting closer to where Rikid was created. Come on, this way.

118
00:08:47,519 --> 00:08:55,519
What is it, boy? Rikid?

119
00:08:55,519 --> 00:09:03,279
Why does that keep happening? Christy, I told you to get new batteries.

120
00:09:03,279 --> 00:09:08,279
Josh, you see that green light? What is it?

121
00:09:08,279 --> 00:09:15,279
Josh, what's happening? Stand still.

122
00:09:15,279 --> 00:09:23,279
Why is it going off when it's pointing at me? There, there!

123
00:09:23,279 --> 00:09:28,480
What does that thing detect? It's a bofa detector.

124
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:36,480
A bofa? Yeah, bofa deez nuts! Get fuckin' ripped!

125
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:41,480
Christy, can you stop dancing, please? Don't dance with him.

126
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:48,580
Josh, it actually means you have cancer. There's nothing I can do, I'm sorry.

127
00:09:48,580 --> 00:09:50,420
This is the worst birthday ever.

128
00:09:50,420 --> 00:09:56,460
I will find you. Stop talking to the paintings, Rikid, come here.

129
00:09:56,460 --> 00:10:02,300
I found something. Please, I will find you one day, and we will live happily together.

130
00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:09,680
What's over here? Oh, look at this, pretty fancy.

131
00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:17,420
Donut, donut! No, put it down!

132
00:10:17,420 --> 00:10:24,740
Put it down, hey, put it down! If you have a sugar...

133
00:10:24,740 --> 00:10:29,000
Did you just literally eat that box? Yeah, I will eat anything.

134
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:34,180
Just sometimes eat the dust that's off the floor. I caught him eating the dust bunnies the other day.

135
00:10:34,180 --> 00:10:39,380
It saved me from vacuuming, but he's got frothy poo.

136
00:10:39,380 --> 00:10:43,760
Christy, what? He's very private about that.

137
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,600
Do not talk about his frothy poos. Fluffy.

138
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:49,080
Oh, fuck, I don't know.

139
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:55,200
The door just locked. Did you close that door?

140
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:59,700
I didn't touch it. Well, who locked it then?

141
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:02,800
I thought you said this place was empty. Carol White, she touched me.

142
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:07,300
Wait, why do you keep saying Carol White? Who's Carol White?

143
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:12,600
She, um, okay, when I was little, when I was here, she was like,

144
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:19,100
Hey, you know the strip club from GTA 5? I said yeah, because I was an avid GTA 5 fan at the time.

145
00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:24,800
She's like, yeah, I could do that for you. I said no, get out of my room.

146
00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:29,000
And then she touched me where the sun don't shine.

147
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,000
That was a fuckin' weird story. Well, come on.

148
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:35,700
We're not gonna be out of fire much with all the lights off, so let's go.

149
00:11:35,700 --> 00:11:38,000
Oh, shut up. Wait, did you hear that?

150
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:41,600
Yes, I did. What was that? There it is again.

151
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:47,700
It sounds like a fuckin' quip.

152
00:11:47,700 --> 00:11:58,000
There's no such thing as ghosts, you idiot. Boo, ghosts are so scary.

153
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:05,700
This is just a big empty building, dude.

154
00:12:05,700 --> 00:12:09,500
I'm dead, I'm dead! No, no, no!

155
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:15,800
Run, run, run! Get off, get off!

156
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,100
You creepy old lady, who the fuck are you?

157
00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:21,900
I'm gonna kick your fuckin' arse. Get out of the fuckin' house!

158
00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:25,800
Hide, hide, hide!

159
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:28,800
Who the fuck was that? Are you okay?

160
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:31,800
Number one victory, oh yeah!

161
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,800
No, we're about to get fucked. Rikid, who the fuck was that?

162
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,800
It's Carol, she was kinda hot, not gonna lie.

163
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:41,800
Yeah, I'd hit that. Rikid, where'd he go?

164
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:47,800
Help me, he's in here! I only turned around for five minutes.

165
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:51,800
I fell into the toilet. Are you fuckin' serious right now?

166
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:57,800
I just bought you new Off-Whites and now you're stepping in doo-doo butter.

167
00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:02,800
Yeah, I've had enough of you.

168
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:06,800
What are you guys doing in here? I know it was International Women's Day the other day,

169
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:15,800
but can you spend five minutes without being in the kitchen? She's making me a sandwich.

170
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:22,800
She doesn't make sandwiches for you. It's a sandwich, how hard can it be?

171
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:27,800
Keep looking. You don't even butter your bread when you make a sandwich.

172
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:31,800
You shut up. I butter her bread, don't worry about that.

173
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:35,800
I'm sorry, I'm good.

174
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:41,800
What is it? It's the cupboards I used to hide in when I was getting bullied.

175
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:45,800
Aww, that's so adorable. Isn't this creepy?

176
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:51,800
What is this? We didn't... I don't know.

177
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:56,800
Whoa, did you see that? The light turned off when I walked in.

178
00:13:56,800 --> 00:14:01,800
Oh, no, no, no! Nope, goodbye.

179
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:06,800
I didn't even say, "Hey, Google," that's crazy.

180
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:10,800
Guys, what, Christy? Oh my God, are you PMSing again?

181
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:15,800
Why are you walking like that? I did, yeah, Rikid.

182
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,800
What do we do? She's PMSing all over the place.

183
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:23,800
Josh, get those cloth things, they look like bullets with a rat's tail on the end.

184
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:27,800
All I've got is this taser, that'll work.

185
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:31,800
Stand back, stand back! What's wrong with her?

186
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:36,800
Listen, I'm not a woman, Josh. Why are you looking at me?

187
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:39,800
Rikid, how do you talk to women? I've never talked to a woman before.

188
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:44,800
Give it to me, give it to me! Is that how you talk to them?

189
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:48,800
It didn't work. That's not how you talk to women.

190
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:53,800
Can we just go home? This was your idea.

191
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:59,800
Yeah, I thought it would be a nice family day out. I'm sorry, I'm scared shitless.

192
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:05,800
I brought five pairs of pants and I've gone through all of them. My shit's in the sink.

193
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:10,800
I've shat in this to try and keep the battery on. Can we just go home?

194
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:16,800
Yes, let's go home. Here's the plan, come here quick.

195
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,800
You're bait, okay? No, I'm not bait!

196
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:23,040
She's the woman, Rikid, you have to go!

197
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:26,300
Oh my God, oh shit!

198
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:30,300
What the fuck is that?!

199
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:35,300
No, don't kill me! It fit right into my head!

200
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:39,300
Oh my God, it's fingering me!

201
00:15:39,300 --> 00:15:40,500
It's a fake ring, man!

202
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:54,500
Oh my God!

203
00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:58,500
Fuck you! You're an asshole!

file 2:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,000
Christy, Christy, come here, come here, come here.

2
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:02,500
What? What is it? What?

3
00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:03,500
Come here.

4
00:00:03,500 --> 00:00:05,000
Shh, shh, shh, shh.

5
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:07,500
Hush your lips. Hush those pretty lips.

6
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:09,500
Alright, listen.

7
00:00:09,500 --> 00:00:13,000
Have you ever heard that spooky, spooky story?

8
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:16,500
The old tale that the kids used to say in high school?

9
00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:17,500
What? What story?

10
00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:20,000
Shut, shut, shut your mouth. Shut the pretty lips.

11
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,500
Here's how it goes, okay?

12
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:26,000
If you ever find a broken mirror,

13
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,500
you walk in front of it with a flashlight,

14
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:31,500
and you say PogChamp three times,

15
00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:33,500
and then you turn the light off,

16
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:37,500
and then they say, a mentally challenged child will appear

17
00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:41,500
and teach you how to get dubs in Fortnite.

18
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:45,500
But it's probably just a dumb story.

19
00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:46,500
We can try it though if you want.

20
00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:47,500
No, no, no, let's try it, let's try it.

21
00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:48,500
You want to try it?

22
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:49,500
Yeah, let's do it.

23
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:50,500
Alright, ready?

24
00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:52,500
On the count of three, okay?

25
00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:53,500
Okay.

26
00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:57,500
One, two, three.

27
00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:58,500
PogChamp.

28
00:00:58,500 --> 00:00:59,500
PogChamp.

29
00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:00,500
PogChamp.

30
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,000
Now turn the light off.

31
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:07,500
Alright, now turn the light back on.

32
00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:11,500
Poggers!

33
00:01:11,500 --> 00:01:13,500
I got it, I got it, I got it!

34
00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:15,500
Break it, break it!

35
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:30,500
Guys, come in here. There's something very cool in here.

36
00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:31,500
Uh, Chrissy, don't go—

37
00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:32,500
I got a thing.

38
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:34,500
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

39
00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:36,500
What is that?

40
00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:38,500
I don't f*** with spooky s***.

41
00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:41,500
It's a Ouija board.

42
00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:43,500
That's Mario's brother.

43
00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:45,500
I ain't messing with that, man.

44
00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:47,500
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

45
00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:49,500
It's glowing, it's glowing, it's glowing!

46
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,500
Put it down, put it down, put it down.

47
00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:52,500
Dude, it's glowing, it's glowing!

48
00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:54,500
You shouldn't have messed with it, dude!

49
00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:56,500
Oh, f***.

50
00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:58,500
Now ask a question, dear spirit.

51
00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:01,500
Is Rikid gay?

52
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:06,500
This thing doesn't even work, dude. It's so lame.

53
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:09,500
Chrissy, don't touch it!

54
00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:12,500
I don't think we should be messing with this.

55
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:15,500
Wait, put it down, put it down, put it down.

56
00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:18,500
No, that's not how it works, dude! You don't even know how to use it, dude!

57
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:21,500
Do you like Fortnite Battle Royale?

58
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,500
What is your Fortnite in-game name?

59
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:26,500
Oh my god, look what you've done! Rikid, stop!

60
00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:28,500
You're gonna mess with it, dude.

61
00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:30,500
Did I get my period?

62
00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:31,500
I shat blood.

63
00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:32,500
Where is pee stored?

64
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:33,500
I don't understand.

65
00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:35,500
Rikid, give me that thing, dude.

66
00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:38,500
My dad messed with the Ouija board once.

67
00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:42,500
Now he listens to Maroon 5. It's terrible.

68
00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:45,500
Oh my god, Josh, is he possessed?

69
00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:48,500
Nah, that's just how he always is.

70
00:02:48,500 --> 00:03:00,500
Alright, spirit, what do you think of her?

71
00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:13,500
K. I. T. C. Kitchen!

72
00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:17,500
Wow, according to the spirit, you need to go back downstairs, alright?

73
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:25,500
This is a boys-only Ouija board!

74
00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:33,500
Mister spirit, what do you think of the female race?

75
00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:36,500
Oh! Oh! Oh!

76
00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:39,500
K. I. T. God damnit.

77
00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:41,500
Kristy, just go to the kitchen.

78
00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:43,500
It doesn't want to talk to us while you're in this room!

79
00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:48,500
I'm gonna go make a f***ing sandwich! F***ing sexists!

80
00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:52,500
Ham and cheese croissant, please, thank you.

81
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:55,500
How many wins do you have in Fortnite?

82
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:57,500
Oh! Dude, it moves.

83
00:03:57,500 --> 00:04:00,500
One. What a f***ing noob.

84
00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:06,500
What's the most kills you've ever gotten in a single match in Fortnite?

85
00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:12,500
Four. Five. Forty-five. This guy's a hacker.

86
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:16,500
How much for a blowjob?

87
00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:22,500
Five. Two. Fifty-two.

88
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:26,500
How many inches is your penis?

89
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:30,500
Zero. It has a zero-inch penis?

90
00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:34,500
Maybe it's a woman. Or it could be ProJared.

91
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:40,500
If I came on the Ouija board, would I make a demon?

92
00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:46,500
What the f***? Man, that's a good question though. Seriously, tell me.

93
00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:54,500
We know how to deal with you, Mr. Ouija board. It's the spirit, sir.

94
00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:57,500
Is pee stored in the balls?

95
00:04:57,500 --> 00:05:00,500
Whoa!

96
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:10,500
Oh my god, dude, did you f***ing see that? This thing actually works!

97
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:13,500
Okay, that's weird. Ask it again.

98
00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:18,500
Is pee stored in the balls?

99
00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:28,500
M. A. S. T. E. R. B. Master... Bedroom.

100
00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:36,500
Is pee stored in here? Really? This whole time? This one room?

101
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:46,500
Listen, Mr. Spirit, sir. How much cum do you produce daily?

102
00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:56,500
Fifty... Fifty-two gallons of semen every... Jesus.

103
00:05:56,500 --> 00:06:00,500
No wonder he died. He had fat nuts.

104
00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:07,500
This is working!

105
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:14,500
What the f***? What the f*** is happening?

106
00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:18,500
Oh my god!

107
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:23,500
Where's Christy? Where the f*** did Christy go?

108
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:26,500
We're leaving, we're leaving!

109
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:29,500
Wait, I need to know. Where is Christy?

110
00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:34,500
Steak and blowjob day is next month. What am I gonna do?

111
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:39,500
Oh! Oh! Get off me!

112
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:45,500
Oh my god, it's right there!

113
00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:51,500
Did she die? Oh my god, this is so f***ed up.

114
00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:56,500
If this made Christy and Rikid disappear,

115
00:06:56,500 --> 00:07:00,500
I'm taking this straight to Amy Schumer's house.

116
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:04,500
Guys, do you know where we are? Do you know what this door leads to?

117
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:07,500
This door looks familiar, but no.

118
00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:12,500
This is where Rikid was created. This is where you were made.

119
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:16,500
I knew that door looked familiar! I was the one who smashed the window.

120
00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:20,500
I tried to break out.

121
00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:24,500
You still got the key?

122
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:28,500
Yeah, I think I... Oh yeah, I do. This is the right key.

123
00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:36,500
Guys, this is really, really spooky, serious stuff, guys. So no more messing around, okay?

124
00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:42,500
We got our number one victory royale! Yeah, Fortnite, we're about to get down!

125
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:49,500
We need to find out how Rikid was made.

126
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:54,500
This place has been abandoned for a long time, okay? No one's around here.

127
00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:58,500
Rikid, does this corridor look familiar at all?

128
00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:00,500
Wait a minute.

129
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:02,500
What?

130
00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:06,500
Sniff it out, boys! Sniff it out!

131
00:08:06,500 --> 00:08:10,500
What is it? My blankie!

132
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:14,500
Blankie!

133
00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:18,500
Stop! Now's not the time for blankie!

134
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:22,500
Rikid! Wake up!

135
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:26,500
Remember these? You know what these are? My Xannies?

136
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:30,500
Yeah, your little Xannies from when you were a little baby.

137
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:33,500
Here, sniff it out. Get the scent.

138
00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:36,500
It's gonna work, Christy. He's got the scent!

139
00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:40,500
Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's happening?

140
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:46,500
We're getting closer to where Rikid was created.

141
00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:49,500
What the f*** was that?

142
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:52,500
Guys, stop freaking out! It just means we're getting closer.

143
00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:56,500
Come on, this way. What is it, boy?

144
00:08:56,500 --> 00:09:00,500
Why does that keep happening?

145
00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:04,500
Christy, I told you to get new batteries.

146
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:08,500
Josh, you see that? The green light.

147
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:12,500
Whoa! Josh! Josh!

148
00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:16,500
What's happening? Stand still, stand still!

149
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:20,500
Why is it going off when it's pointing at me?

150
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:24,500
There! There! There! Chill, chill.

151
00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:27,500
What does that thing detect?

152
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:30,500
Josh, it was a Bofa detector. Bofa deez nuts!

153
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:32,500
Get f***ing rekt!

154
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:36,500
Okay, that's...

155
00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:40,500
Christy, can you stop dancing, please? Don't dance with him.

156
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:46,500
Josh, it actually means you have cancer. There's nothing I can do. I'm sorry.

157
00:09:46,500 --> 00:09:48,500
This is the worst birthday ever.

158
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:52,500
I will find you. Please stop talking to the paintings.

159
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:58,500
Rikid, come here. I found something.

160
00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:02,500
I will find you one day, and we will live happily together.

161
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:06,500
What's over here? Look at this!

162
00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:10,500
Pretty fancy!

163
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:14,500
Donut! Donut!

164
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:18,500
Put it down! Put it down!

165
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:22,500
Break it!

166
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:26,500
Did you just literally eat that box?

167
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,500
Yeah, I will eat anything.

168
00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:32,500
Just sometimes eat the dust that's off the floor.

169
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:36,500
I caught him eating the dust bunnies the other day. It saved me from vacuuming, but...

170
00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:40,500
He's got frothy poos!

171
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:42,500
Christy, he's very private about that.

172
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:46,500
Fluffy. I don't know.

173
00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:50,500
The door just locked.

174
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:54,500
Did you close that? No, I didn't touch it.

175
00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:58,500
Well, who locked it then? I thought you said this place was empty.

176
00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:02,500
Carol White. She touched me.

177
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:06,500
Wait, why do you keep saying Carol White? Who's Carol White?

178
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:12,500
When I was little, here, she was like, hey, you know the strip club from GTA V?

179
00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:16,500
I said, yeah, I was an avid GTA V fan at the time.

180
00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:22,500
She's like, I could do that for you. I said, no, get out of my room.

181
00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:26,500
And then she touched me where the sun don't shine.

182
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:30,500
That was a f***ing weird story.

183
00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:34,500
Well, come on, we're not gonna find much with all the lights off, so let's go.

184
00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:38,500
Whoa, shut up. Did you hear that?

185
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:42,500
There it is again. It sounds like a f***wit.

186
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:56,500
There's no such thing as ghosts, you idiot.

187
00:11:56,500 --> 00:12:02,500
Ooh, ghosts are so scary.

188
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:06,500
This is just a big, empty building, dude.

189
00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:08,500
Guys? I'm dead.

190
00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:12,500
No, no, no! Run! Run!

191
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:16,500
Who the f*** are you? I'm gonna kick your f***ing ass.

192
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:20,500
Hide, hide, hide!

193
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:26,500
Who the f*** was that? Are you okay?

194
00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:36,500
It's Carol. She's kind of hot. I'm not gonna lie. I'd hit that.

195
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:42,500
Where'd he go?

196
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:47,500
Help me! I fell in the toilet.

197
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:54,500
Are you f***ing serious right now? I just bought you new Off-Whites, and now you're stepping in doo-doo butter.

198
00:12:54,500 --> 00:13:02,500
Yeah, I've had enough of you.

199
00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:07,500
What are you guys doing in here?

200
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:14,500
I know it was International Women's Day the other day, but can you spend five minutes without being in the kitchen?

201
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:18,500
She's making me a sandwich.

202
00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:22,500
She doesn't make sandwiches for you.

203
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:26,500
It's a sandwich, how hard can it be? Keep looking.

204
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:30,500
You don't even butter your bread, you shut up.

205
00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:34,500
I butter her bread, don't worry about that.

206
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:36,500
Okay, never mind. I'm good.

207
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:40,500
What is it? It's the cupboards I used to hide in when I was getting bullied.

208
00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:44,500
That's so adorable. Isn't this creepy?

209
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:52,500
What is this?

210
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:56,500
Whoa, did you see that? The light turned off when I walked in.

211
00:13:56,500 --> 00:14:00,500
Nope, I didn't even say hey Google. That's crazy.

212
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:08,500
Guys, are you PMSing again? Why are you walking like that?

213
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:14,500
Rikid, what do we do? She's PMSing all over the place.

214
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:24,500
Josh, get those cloth things. They look like bullets with a rat's tail on the end.

215
00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:27,500
All I've got is this taser. That'll work.

216
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:30,500
Stand back. What's wrong with her?

217
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:34,500
Listen, I'm not a woman, Josh. Why are you looking at me?

218
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:38,500
Rikid, how do you talk to women? I've never talked to a woman before.

219
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:44,500
Give it to me. Is that how you talk to them?

220
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:48,500
It didn't work.

221
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:52,500
Can we just go home? This was your idea.

222
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:56,500
I thought it would be a nice family day out. I'm sorry.

223
00:14:56,500 --> 00:15:00,500
You're obviously wrong. I'm scared sh**less.

224
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:04,500
I brought about five pairs of pants and I've gone through all of them.

225
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:08,500
My sh** is in the sink to try and keep the battery on.

226
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:12,500
Can we just go home? Yes, let's go home.

227
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:16,500
Here's the plan. Come here, quick!

228
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:20,500
You're bait, okay? No, I'm not bait! She's the woman!

229
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:24,500
Rikid, you have to go!

230
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:28,500
Oh my god! What the f*** is that?

231
00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:32,500
Rikid, don't kill me! I can feel it in my head!

232
00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:36,500
It's figuring me!

233
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:40,500
It's a fake ring, man!

234
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:54,500
Oh my god!

235
00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:58,500
F*** you! You're an asshole!