Greetings, I require a meticulous segmentation of the provided television episode script into timed scenes, utilizing the accompanying recap with timed subtitles to determine scene boundaries and durations. Assign each scene a double name consisting of a numerical identifier (e.g., 1, 2, 3) and a concise narrative line designation (e.g., Protagonist, Antagonist, Supporting Character, or combinations such as Protagonist/Antagonist), accompanied by a descriptive title informed by the recap. Highlight in bold all advanced words, idioms, and collocations at B2, C1, or C2 level or higher, excluding those within the top 4000–5000 most common English words as defined by the English Vocabulary Profile, within the script itself to emphasize their usage. Ensure that any sentences fragmented across multiple lines for a single speaker are consolidated into single, cohesive lines for enhanced readability, while placing each character's dialogue on a separate line to clearly distinguish speakers and preserve the original conversational flow. Present the output in a clear, structured format with scene numbers, double names, titles, start and end timestamps, and revised script text, organized for readability without using a table structure, ensuring alignment with the scene numbering and double names used in Prompts 2–4 for consistency.


00:01 - 00:26 Scene 0
00:26 - 01:56
01:56 - 02:34
02:34 - 03:13
03:13 - 04:27
04:27 - 05:30
05:30 - 06:58
06:58 - 09:22
09:22 - 10:20
10:20 - 10:34
10:34 - 10:52
10:53 - 12:04
12:04 - 13:44
13:44 - 16:16
16:16 - 16:55
16:55 - 21:53
21:53 - 22:27
22:27 - 23:37
23:37 - 24:15
24:16 - 25:12
25:12 - 25:51
25:51 - 26:58

1
00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:11,242
The core compression algorithm is optimal.

2
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:12,685
All the test cases ran optimal.

3
00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:16,731
The Weissman Score is optimal.
Looks like Nucleus is optimal.

4
00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:18,529
Good. Good.

5
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:20,651
Congratulations, guys.

6
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:25,680
- Oh, yeah.
- A dunk.

7
00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:39,644
Richard, the ingestion engine is ready
for testing. Have you seen Richard?

8
00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:42,644
He's in there, having a little trouble
with his personal ingestion engine.

9
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,883
Still? It's been an hour.
He's gotta get this done.

10
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,804
Oh, he's got his laptop in there,
on top of his lap.

11
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,728
Hey, Richard.

12
00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,609
Don't talk to me while
I'm in the bathroom please.

13
00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:55,330
Well, snap it off, we gotta go.

14
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,402
I know.
Just don't talk to me while I'm in here.

15
00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:58,561
It's weird.

16
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:01,086
Oh, my God.
Jared's been back from that island

17
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,288
for a whole day
and he didn't get any toilet paper?

18
00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,681
Are you serious? ls Jared out there?

19
00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:07,569
I thought you didn't want me to talk to you

20
00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:09,600
while you were in the bathroom.
Make up your mind.

21
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:11,688
You know what?
Just get away from the door, please.

22
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,484
Friday, the pool cleaner comes.

23
00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:15,130
- Do you understand?
- Yes.

24
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:18,289
And tomorrow is trash day
so make sure all the cans are out front.

25
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:19,805
Yes.

26
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,885
Now, you are under no circumstances
to order any movie on demand,

27
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,121
adult or otherwise.

28
00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:26,611
Yes.

29
00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:28,887
Okay, has anything that I've
just said confused you?

30
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:31,201
- Yes.
- God damn it!

31
00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:34,730
Jesus, Cher.
Are you bringing your whole closet?

32
00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:38,282
I'm a pro, Dinesh. I
won't apologize for it.

33
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,931
I dress according to the moods
that I sense in the room.

34
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,480
As such, I must have options.

35
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,369
We all packed and ready to go?

36
00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,690
We can take my car
but gas is on the company.

37
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,480
Hello? Did everyone leave?

38
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:53,971
No.

39
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:55,963
What? Oh.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...

40
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,569
I don't know
how you read your screen in the car.

41
00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:11,005
It makes me sick as a dog.

42
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:12,844
I'm okay
as long as I don't think about it.

43
00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:14,490
Besides, the presentation is tomorrow.

44
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,689
So if you just don't think
about it, it really doesn't bother you

45
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:19,680
to be staring at the screen
when the car's moving

46
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,564
- and turning and you're all queasy...
- Oh, God!

47
00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:24,244
Gilfoyle.

48
00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,164
See, I knew it bothered you.
Fucking liar.

49
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,800
So I'm a little behind,
being stuck on that island for four days,

50
00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,008
but I think I'm on top of everything.

51
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,765
Okay, uh, give me your IDs
and I'll go register us...

52
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:48,411
There you are.
Got your credentials and wristbands

53
00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:50,727
for the walk through at 4:00 today.

54
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,165
Uh, walk through?

55
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,441
Yeah, basically,
it's a sound check for the competition.

56
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,449
Uh, yeah, we didn't know about that.

57
00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:58,649
Did I not tell you about the walk through?

58
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,209
I am so sorry.

59
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:03,009
Uh, that's why I'm here. Peter's on safari

60
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,327
with Lorne Michaels and Kanye West
until next week

61
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,323
so, I can put all of my
attention on you guys for once.

62
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:11,644
I am so sorry. I thought that I talked
to you guys about the walk...

63
00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:24,491
Gentlemen, welcome to the big show.

64
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:27,126
TechCrunch motherfucking Disrupt.

65
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:30,922
Okay, guys,
this place is a vortex of distraction.

66
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,321
Normally the tech world is 2% women.

67
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,762
Guys, these next three days, 15%.

68
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,729
It's a goddamn meat market.

69
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,325
I need you to focus.

70
00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:43,569
How we do here is the entire future
of your company.

71
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,404
Don't screw it all up now.

72
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:48,086
We have to knock them dead
in the preliminaries tomorrow

73
00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:50,128
so we can move on to the finals on Friday.

74
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:54,524
I have a question. The program says
that Dan Melcher is judging our round.

75
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,329
Is there any way to get him removed?

76
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,562
Not unless there's a conflict of interest.

77
00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:02,008
Well, there may be. I did have
sexual intercourse with his wife.

78
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:06,003
What? It was three years ago.

79
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,367
So one of the guys judging us
wants to fucking kill you?

80
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,602
Maybe. I don't know if he found out.

81
00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,968
Either way, Richard, you may have to
present instead of me so be prepared.

82
00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:16,441
What, me? Present? No.

83
00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:19,126
We may be fine. We may be totally fine.

84
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,521
We also may be totally fucked.

85
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,090
I'll let you know either way.

86
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,841
I'm gonna go network. Don't approach me.

87
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:30,121
I don't want to present.
Besides, I'm not even done with the demo.

88
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:33,522
Okay, Richard, you need to go
to the hotel right now and finish.

89
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,811
- You already checked us into the hotel?
- Yeah. Yeah.

90
00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:38,684
Okay, uh,
I'm gonna do this module by module.

91
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:43,084
Dinesh, you built the edge video player
so I'm gonna start with you first, okay?

92
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,606
Okay, you guys set up the booth, okay?

93
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,802
Um, I think it's this way.

94
00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:49,086
You think?

95
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,609
A few flyers, that's all we have?

96
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,921
Yeah, I think it is.

97
00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:59,243
Hello, what's your name?

98
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,488
Visit us at microdrone.com...

99
00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:05,724
Oh, wow, Microdrone. They just
closed $17 million in seed funding.

100
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,641
Hi. Hello. Excuse me.

101
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:14,167
Pied Piper? You guys are competing
in the Startup Battlefield, right?

102
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:15,890
Everyone has been talking
about your compression rate.

103
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,446
I mean, it is supposed to be sick.

104
00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:19,726
Yeah.

105
00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:21,842
Anyway, you must be great with Java

106
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:25,242
and I just cannot seem
to figure out this stupid bug. Do you mind?

107
00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:27,725
I'll be back.

108
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,370
Thank you.

109
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:33,842
If we integrate one module every two hours
we should be in great shape...

110
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,571
Richard, follow me.
Follow me. Follow me.

111
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:40,440
- All right. See you at the hotel.
- See you.

112
00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:41,760
Very soon, I hope.

113
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:46,491
Hey, man. Just wanted to say good luck.

114
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,924
Okay, thanks. But what's with all the...

115
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,526
Sorry. I just can't be seen talking to you,
you know?

116
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,329
Hooli people all over the place.

117
00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:58,450
I don't know, man, I'm just really into
this whole rest and vest life, you know,

118
00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:00,284
- way more than I thought I would be.
- Mmm.

119
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,044
I just don't want to rock the boat.

120
00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:05,044
Oh, hey, did I tell you?
I'm getting a boat.

121
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:07,088
- Wow.
- And a boat guy to take care of it.

122
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:08,924
You have to have a boat guy.

123
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,365
Wow, yeah, you've gotta have a boat guy...

124
00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:11,601
If you have a boat.

125
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,604
Hey, um, you know that girl, right?

126
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:18,369
Sherry, I think her name was.
She said you guys went to school together.

127
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:19,811
Uh, okay, yeah.

128
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,167
I saw her at the Valleywag
party last night,

129
00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:25,961
which was crazy, by the way. Dude, there
must've been like 12 girls there.

130
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:27,685
- Holy shit.
- Nuts.

131
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:30,889
Anyway, um, she said you guys
went out a couple times

132
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,567
and then, uh, she dumped you
and you became obsessed with her?

133
00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:38,087
What? What? She said I was obsessed?

134
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:39,924
She said obsessed.

135
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,731
Uh, that's bullshit,
'cause I think we went out two times.

136
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:45,724
Eh, it was nothing.
So, how could I be obsessed? That's...

137
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:49,731
No, you're going down!
Nucleus is gonna crush Wide Diaper.

138
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,770
You never should've said no
to my man, Gavin Belson.

139
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:56,327
Okay.

140
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:03,044
Seeded quite a few new companies.

141
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,771
Spinder. It's like Tinder
but for spinsters.

142
00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:09,128
Elderly women looking for sex.

143
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:32,603
There's this girl who's walking around,
saying that I'm obsessed with her.

144
00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:34,684
Now, that just really pisses me off.

145
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:37,730
That's fascinating.
Let's just forget about it, okay?

146
00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:38,801
Yeah.

147
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,122
I mean it's... it's just
so fucked up, right?

148
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:45,884
I mean, I barely remember her.

149
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:49,240
And it's just so insulting to have someone
walking around spreading lies about you.

150
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:52,443
Right? I wonder who she's working with.

151
00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:55,683
Like I wonder who she's here with
because if she's telling her coworkers,

152
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,331
then that's a whole 'nother
group of people I gotta worry about.

153
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,004
Richard, you don't have
to worry about anything

154
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,650
- except for Pied Piper right now.
- Yeah, I know.

155
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,166
We have less than 24
hours till the preliminaries.

156
00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:08,121
- No one's worrying, that's the thing. Perfect.
- Perfect.

157
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:13,166
Okay, her.

158
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:15,600
She used the word "obsessed," Dinesh.

159
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,120
- "Obsessed."
- Richard, I don't care.

160
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,244
Neither do I. That's the entire point.

161
00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,281
I'm just gonna check her
lnstagram real quick.

162
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,522
Because if she's posting
comments about me being obsessed...

163
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,720
I mean, I can't just ignore that.

164
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:38,330
Would you be interested in a device
that links to your smartphone

165
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:41,244
and lets you know, even before it happens,
whether you're having a panic attack

166
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:42,685
- or a heart attack?
- Yeah, yeah.

167
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,285
Okay, here's how Panic-a-Tech works.

168
00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:46,567
You wear this on your finger all day
and it tracks your vitals.

169
00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:50,122
Or if that's too embarrassing,
there's also a Bluetooth suppository

170
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,886
and that goes right where you think it goes.
And that comes with a retrieval kit.

171
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:57,248
Was he like, "Bro, you're my bro,"

172
00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:01,970
or was he like, "I wanna shoot you in the face
and watch you bleed out all over the stage

173
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,361
"'cause you fucked my wife, you cocksuck?"

174
00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:06,284
Right in the middle. It was like...

175
00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:09,886
Huh.

176
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:11,924
What happened? How's it going at the hotel?

177
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:16,085
Weird. He switched to meta-data extraction
and now wants to see you.

178
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:20,091
Meta-data? Already? Makes no sense.

179
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,685
He seems very distracted.

180
00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:27,924
Okay, guys, urn, since we're kind of
playing from behind here

181
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,401
I put together a little secret weapon.

182
00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:34,082
I, um... I went through the entire list
of conference participants

183
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:37,130
and I found images and I found bios
and I printed them out

184
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,326
so we have them all in one place.

185
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:41,131
- Why did you do that?
- Uh, okay.

186
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,851
Who's this guy? Watch. He is...

187
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:49,249
Rick Smith, co-founder
of Crosscut Ventures.

188
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:50,446
How did you...

189
00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:54,286
ID-Keen. It's this facial recognition app
that Monica put on our phones.

190
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,249
You just point it at anybody,
tells you who they are

191
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,129
and how important they
are to the conference.

192
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:03,126
You're not showing up at all.

193
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:07,046
Yeah, maybe I'm not getting a...
No, I'm getting a signal.

194
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,527
Okay. Um, well...

195
00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:15,283
Ooh, Jared, Jared, uh,
recycling's over there.

196
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,966
Hey, so what's the deal?
Does the judge know or not?

197
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:19,883
I don't know, Monica. He's toying with me.

198
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,964
Or maybe he's not.
I can't fucking figure it out.

199
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,930
Erlich, you need to stop this.
His wife is here.

200
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,207
Grow a pair and talk to
her, find out for sure.

201
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,170
Why don't you grow a pair
and I'll talk to her?

202
00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:33,481
Hmm.

203
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:34,881
What?

204
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,565
Hey-

205
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,485
Do you happen to know Java?

206
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,287
Are you kidding? It's like my specialty.

207
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:47,725
Will you help me?

208
00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:52,131
Oh, it would be my honor.

209
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,240
Yes?

210
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,449
Oh, sorry. Um, I must not
have the right room.

211
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:18,364
- I'm looking for Dan Melcher.
- Yeah, that's us.

212
00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:19,965
Oh, it is? Okay.

213
00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:21,929
I was looking to speak with his wife.

214
00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:26,723
That's me. I'm, well, his new
wife, we just got married.

215
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,404
Oh, congratulations.

216
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,606
Uh, what happened with Madelyn?

217
00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:34,527
- You're a friend of Dan's?
- Yeah.

218
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:37,001
We've... We have a common interest...

219
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,287
- Uh, many common interests.
- Yeah.

220
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:40,964
Well, she was a nightmare.

221
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,887
Pills, in and out of rehab.

222
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,885
Had all of these disgusting affairs.

223
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,564
You know, the divorce nearly killed Dan.

224
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:51,371
Really? Disgusting affairs.

225
00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:54,483
Well, I... I feel terrible.

226
00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:57,245
No, it's fine. He's put it behind him.

227
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,211
All Of it?

228
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,322
- I mean, every aspect of it?
- Mmm-hmm.

229
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,531
Well, that is... That is great to hear.

230
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:08,086
What if she's spreading this lie
to everyone at this conference?

231
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:09,525
I mean, honestly, Gilfoyle...

232
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:13,924
Richard, stop talking about this
or I have to punch you in the face.

233
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:17,482
Fuck. it is huge.

234
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:21,561
- Uh...
"Very, very huge.

235
00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:25,690
Check, one-two, two,
tsetse fly, tsetse fly.

236
00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:27,250
Hey, how's the demo coming?

237
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:29,482
Um, we're getting there.

238
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,090
Uh, definitely... Getting there.

239
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:33,808
Gentlemen, I bring good tidings.

240
00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:38,090
Turns out that Melcher
is divorced, remarried

241
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:41,562
and has put the previous relationship
behind him completely.

242
00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:42,846
Problem solved.

243
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:44,285
That's great.

244
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,410
It sure is, Richard, it sure as hell is.

245
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:53,085
Look at these poor fuckers. They don't
even know what's about to hit 'em.

246
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:55,289
The hammer of God.

247
00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:59,048
I am so sorry! I am so sorry.
I thought you guys were gonna come get me

248
00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:00,963
and... And I'm sorry.

249
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,407
- Wait, Jared, what are you doing here?
- What?

250
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:04,527
- Who's watching the booth?
- Yeah.

251
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,807
- I thought that maybe Monica could...
- Ooh.

252
00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:09,645
She's not in the company.
We need her here. That's the thing.

253
00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:12,451
All right, everybody, uh, this run-through
is for essential personnel only,

254
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:13,925
essential only.

255
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:17,161
Oh.

256
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,130
- We need someone in the booth is the thing.
- Right.

257
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,645
You're essential to the booth.

258
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:22,846
Right.

259
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:27,043
All right, each team will have
six minutes for presentation and demo,

260
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:28,685
at which point the judges
will ask a few questions...

261
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:30,808
Uh, do you mind if I break in here,
just one question.

262
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:33,531
Uh, are the judges allowed
to send us through

263
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,967
to the finals immediately after we present

264
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:41,126
or do we have to wait
until everyone else has gone?

265
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:44,090
Well, I'm just saying
what everybody's thinking.

266
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,842
Hello, what's your name?

267
00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:51,888
Visit us at microdrone.com to download...

268
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,804
- Uh, excuse me, no thank you.
- ...a free video of you

269
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:56,882
- at TechCrunch Disrupt.
- Uh, no thank you.

270
00:13:56,960 --> 00:14:01,363
Nathan. Are you Nathan Zimmerman,
CEO of Flingual?

271
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:03,727
I... I... Whoever's doing
this, no thank you.

272
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:06,684
Yeah, I think we got a dead zone,
an audio dead zone right here.

273
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:08,285
Listen to this.

274
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,609
Hear that? Compared to...

275
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:12,968
Okay, here's what I want,
as soon as the music comes up...

276
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:14,047
Music?

277
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,885
I want you to hit me with a spotlight, barn!
And a hard spot.

278
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,162
Better yet, do you have
those spotlights that...

279
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,730
...come up from the ground,

280
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,040
like in Pride Fighting.

281
00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:23,087
I can check.

282
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:26,130
Okay, so two of those, one on each side
and then one in the center

283
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:30,728
so that it casts my shadow behind me,
like a giant looking over his own shoulder.

284
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:32,529
Do you have any wind machines.

285
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,051
I'm gonna need two of those...

286
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:35,645
Are you humming to yourself?

287
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,480
Was I?

288
00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:39,927
Uh...

289
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,800
You know, honestly,
I may have found the perfect woman.

290
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,008
Whoa. What? Who? Who?

291
00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:47,844
She's in the booth right
next to us, Charlotte.

292
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,400
She's not even physically my type,
she has blonde hair

293
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,848
and these stupid pink streaks
that doesn't seem to be dominant at all.

294
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:56,491
However, I think I'm in love.

295
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,450
Whoa!

296
00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:02,047
She invited me to her room
to watch Cloud Atlas later tonight.

297
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,327
Oh, yeah,
that means she wants you to lay her.

298
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,084
Is that definitive?

299
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:08,481
I mean, nobody can watch more
than like a minute of that film.

300
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,722
So what's the deal? I mean, is she hot?

301
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,211
Yeah, I mean, she's attractive,

302
00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:15,568
but almost every woman is attractive.
It was her mind.

303
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:20,563
She wrote this Java method that was the most
beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life.

304
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,324
Elegant, tight.

305
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:25,890
There's just something so hot
about a woman that can code like that.

306
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:27,530
You know, I just want to

307
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:30,490
crawl in her frontal lobe and...

308
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:31,846
What's up?

309
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:34,642
You know I wrote that code, right?

310
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:37,291
No, this code was on her system.

311
00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:41,126
A banged up 15-inch MacBook Pro
with shitty stickers on it?

312
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,885
Everyone here has a beat up
15-inch MacBook Pro...

313
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:46,327
With a 1.3 chip and only two gigs of RAM?

314
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:49,802
She doesn't know Java. I wrote that code.

315
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,531
- You said you were in love with her mind.
- Oh, fuck.

316
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,848
You realize what's going on, right?

317
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:59,208
It's not her you're sexually attracted to,
it's my code.

318
00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:02,762
Shut the... That is the most
disgusting fucking thing I've ever heard.

319
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:06,401
Just face it, Dinesh,
you're gay for my code, you're code gay.

320
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:09,882
No! No, I'm into her.
Her, okay? Fuck your code!

321
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,644
You'd like to fuck my code, wouldn't you?

322
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,485
Hey, would you like to masturbate
to the subroutine I just wrote?

323
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:16,881
No! It's... I'm... I'm...

324
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,406
And then I'll sort of close
right here in the center

325
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,482
with a confidence and poise that, well,

326
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:24,723
they probably won't have seen
up until this point.

327
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:28,600
And then at that point we've got some photos
that we're gonna throw up on the big screen.

328
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:31,160
- Photos?
- Yeah, you know, just a few.

329
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,971
Gandhi, MLK, me as an inquisitive child.

330
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:35,565
Richard, could you please?

331
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,921
Oh, yes, sorry. I'll just plug it in here.

332
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:41,805
No! Don't!

333
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,370
- Don't!
- Oh, shit...

334
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,562
- Oh, what the fuck?
- Shit.

335
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:46,721
Oh, she's here.

336
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:47,847
Mmm.

337
00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:51,484
Oh, shit, it's frozen. It's frozen.

338
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:53,403
That is not me, obviously.

339
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,245
He's obsessed with me. I'm sorry.

340
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,402
Hey, what's wrong?

341
00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:14,803
I'm just a little nervous
'cause you're so beautiful.

342
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:17,367
Oh?

343
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:18,930
Random question...

344
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,881
So you didn't write any of that Java code?

345
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:23,441
Uh-uh.

346
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,803
But I write all of our tweets and we
have like a couple hundred followers.

347
00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:29,122
Couple hundred's pretty.

348
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:33,891
Oh, let me move this.

349
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:43,330
Oh, that's the code your, uh, friend wrote.

350
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:44,920
- Yeah, it is.
- It's really good, huh?

351
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:48,609
It's fine. I don't care about it.

352
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,490
Mmm, there we go.

353
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,006
On, fuck.

354
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:02,611
Come on, focus, focus.

355
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,250
Richard's not gonna finish, is he?

356
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,561
He'll finish, Gilfoyle, he has to.

357
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,205
Are you okay?

358
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:31,211
Yeah, I'm fine.

359
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:34,170
I knew it. You couldn't do it.

360
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:39,121
Please shut up. Shut up.

361
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:43,205
Why is it that every time
I'm about to have sex with a lady,

362
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,804
he's all up in there somehow?

363
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:49,202
Finally, just us.
Guys, this round is on me.

364
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:52,045
Hey, Jared. There you guys go.

365
00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:54,886
- To Pied Piper. Hmm?
- To Pied Piper.

366
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:56,405
Hear, hear.

367
00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:00,525
Yeah, drink it up.

368
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,568
- Mmm.
- But it's not gonna change who you are.

369
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:05,770
Monica, can I speak to you for a minute?

370
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,171
Yeah.

371
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,409
- No, Sherry, it has to be now!
- Oh, shit.

372
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,284
Okay, look, we need to talk.

373
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,169
You keep telling people
I'm obsessed with you.

374
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,890
Richard, why don't you
just take a step back...

375
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:18,201
It's not true... No, no, no, let me finish.

376
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:22,683
Okay, did I put your picture up on the
big screen in the auditorium? Yes.

377
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,720
But that's because
I was showing you to my friends

378
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,001
to prove a point that
I'm not obsessed with you.

379
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:31,324
- Richard, I'm gonna go now.
- No, I'm not obsessed with you, Sherry!

380
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:32,930
I'm...

381
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:35,566
I'm not.

382
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:40,326
That guy Richard I was telling you about
just totally freaked out on me.

383
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:41,686
Yeah, the obsessed guy.

384
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,364
- Where are you?
- You've been doing this ever since

385
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:44,805
- we arrived at the conference.
- Which elevators?

386
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:48,851
You really think that you can come between
me and Richard Hendricks?

387
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:52,367
We're partners, okay,
and I've devoted every second

388
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:55,728
of my waking life for the past
two months to him, okay?

389
00:19:55,840 --> 00:20:00,004
I am devoted to him and to the precious
thing that we're building together!

390
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,924
I'm his partner. I can
tell when he's vomiting...

391
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,206
- Uh, what? No.
because he's nervous...

392
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,726
- Never mind, Kate, I'm fine.
- ...or when he's vomiting because he's sick

393
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,087
or when he's vomiting
because he had cilantro, which he loves

394
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,049
but he shouldn't have
because it makes him...

395
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:15,921
I had no idea that you felt this way.
I mean it, I am so sorry.

396
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,401
I mean, I'm obsessed with her...

397
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,723
Richard, can I talk to you for a second?

398
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,445
Uh, okay.

399
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,730
I owe you an apology. I was way off base.

400
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,723
Well, yeah, you were.

401
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:36,885
He cleared it all up for me.

402
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,645
- Jared? Really?
- Yeah. He's your partner, right?

403
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:43,130
Yeah, he is. One of many.

404
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:44,890
Probably too many.

405
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,164
How could I not have seen this?

406
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,051
Obviously you're not obsessed with me.

407
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:54,610
Richard, it's none of my business,
but be safe.

408
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:57,809
- Okay?
- Okay.

409
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:03,291
Of course I'm safe. I backup my
whole system like five times a day.

410
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:07,166
So... Uh, Jared, hey,

411
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,965
thank you.

412
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:12,164
- For what?
- Uh, you know, everything.

413
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:16,165
I feel like we don't appreciate you enough,
so thank you.

414
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,283
Are you... Are you crying?

415
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,809
Uh, don't do that. Don't cry.

416
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:33,449
Oh, shit. I gotta get back to work.
I... I need to focus here.

417
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:34,766
We should all go.

418
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,763
All right, I'm taking care of this one.

419
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,969
But when we win this fuckin' thing,
Richard, you're buying the next round.

420
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:41,121
Yeah.

421
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,485
Oh, no.

422
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:49,322
We're with the conference,
is there any sort of discount?

423
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,402
- Kind of break you can...
- Mmm-mmm.

424
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:53,528
No. All right.

425
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:56,171
- Hello, again.
- Oh, hi.

426
00:21:56,240 --> 00:22:00,086
You know, that was really sweet of you
to be so concerned about Dan.

427
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:01,571
He really has been through hell.

428
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,241
Well, it's the least I could do.

429
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:07,244
So how did you know Madelyn again?

430
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,369
Oh, uh, long story.

431
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:11,930
Yeah?

432
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:15,882
I have to admit, I'm curious.

433
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:20,602
You know what, keep it open.

434
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,048
Have you ever cared too much?

435
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,849
People, are you ready?

436
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:37,970
Are you ready
for the ultimate tech startup competition?

437
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:39,610
Let me hear it.

438
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,808
Disrupt!

439
00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:43,485
Disrupt.

440
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:49,687
Hello. My name is <PRESIDIO_ANONYMIZED_PERSON>.

441
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:51,883
I am the CEO of lmmediBug.

442
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,760
And we're hereto revolutionize

443
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:57,889
the way you report bugs
on your mobile platform.

444
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:02,488
Happin! will revolutionize location-based
mobile news aggregation as you know it.

445
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:06,201
We're making the world a better place,
through Paxos algorithms

446
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:07,731
for consensus protocols.

447
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:09,529
And we're making the world a better place

448
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,490
through software-defined data centers
for cloud computing.

449
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:16,963
A better place through canonical data
models to communicate between endpoints.

450
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,082
A better place through scalable,

451
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:22,369
fault-tolerant distributed databases
with ACID transactions.

452
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:25,011
And we are truly local mobile social.

453
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:27,686
And we're completely So-Mo-Lo.

454
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:29,006
And we're Mo-Lo-So.

455
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:30,889
We're Lo-Mo-So, bro.

456
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:34,601
We were So-Lo-Mo but now we're Mo-Lo-So.

457
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,650
No, Mo-So-Lo. No...

458
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:41,926
You want me to get
a water or something?

459
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,923
- Yeah, drink this.
- Here.

460
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:47,364
- So we're all good?
- We're all great.

461
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:50,603
I killed it.
Our Weissman score on all tests, 2.89.

462
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,444
Right at the theoretical limit.

463
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,443
Yeah, all the edge modules are humming.

464
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,364
Uh, even on mobile.
They can throw anything at us.

465
00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:01,968
Great. Well, good luck.
I'm gonna go find my seat.

466
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,690
Um, except 3D video.

467
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:05,886
What?

468
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:07,883
3D video's still a little hinky.

469
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,440
Erlich better steer them away
from that just to be safe.

470
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,045
Where the hell is Erlich?

471
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,084
He wasn't with you guys this morning?

472
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:17,447
Rather than heating an entire room,

473
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,285
HumanHeater is a microwave technology

474
00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:23,569
that can heat the surface
of a person's skin instead,

475
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,291
potentially saving
millions in heating costs

476
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:31,042
and helping the environment,
thereby making the world a better place.

477
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:32,890
Judges.

478
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:35,487
Uh...

479
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:37,403
Okay, so,

480
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:43,044
you want to heat people with microwaves,
is that right?

481
00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:44,770
That can't be safe.

482
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:48,526
That's a great question
and trust me, it is very, very safe.

483
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,171
I've been working on it for 15 years.

484
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,164
I don't trust you and it can't be safe.

485
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,926
And even if it was, I don't think
you could ever sell the public on this.

486
00:24:58,400 --> 00:24:59,970
Thank you.

487
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,849
I think when people
see the savings on their utility bill

488
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,402
and when they see how it saves
the environment, they will be sold.

489
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:09,687
Microwaves? Are you kidding me?

490
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,566
Man, they are brutal.

491
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:15,530
All right, let's light this candle.

492
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:17,204
Where the hell have you been?

493
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:20,762
Uh, there's been some developments.
You know how I fucked Melcher's old wife?

494
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:22,842
- I fucked his new wife, too.
- What?

495
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:24,729
Uh, don't worry,
he's not gonna find out.

496
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,081
I left way before he got back
last night and then I didn't

497
00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:29,327
go back this morning until 20 minutes
after he had left.

498
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:30,686
You went back?

499
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,889
- How many times did you fuck this woman?
- The old wife or the new wife?

500
00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:35,963
- The new wife.
- Last night or this morning?

501
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:38,930
Erlich, what were you thinking?
This is kind of a big day today.

502
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,048
Relax, he's not gonna find out.
She's not gonna tell him.

503
00:25:41,120 --> 00:25:42,087
How the fuck do you know that?

504
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:45,721
Because she'd have to be crazy to tell him
and I asked her point blank if she was crazy

505
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,007
and she swore to me, no, she's not crazy.

506
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:50,647
- Pied Piper, you're up.
- Let's do it.

507
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:54,406
The microwaves only penetrate
the top layer of skin cells.

508
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:57,211
I don't believe you. It can't be safe.

509
00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:58,406
Thank you.

510
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:02,846
I've been testing it
on these guys all winter and they're fine.

511
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,287
Let me just demonstrate it to assure you...

512
00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:07,362
- No! No!
- No! Please!

513
00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:11,887
No one is ever going to buy one of these.

514
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:13,246
Ever.

515
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:15,527
That was HumanHeater.

516
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,285
Next up, Executive Chairman
and Chief Visionary

517
00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:22,251
Erlich Bachman presenting Pied Piper.

518
00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:38,442
Since the dawn of time,

519
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:43,128
mankind hath sought
to make things smaller, but until now,

520
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,202
no man...

521
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,203
You son of a bitch!

522
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:49,601
Jesus Christ! Everyone, remain calm.

523
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,365
Stay in your seats!
Everything is under control!

524
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:55,011
Lights?

525
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:56,806
I think he knows.

526
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:58,370
Security to main stage.