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Assistant: Title: hang out in your heart
        Author: mbg6246 mbg6246 
        Chapter: 1/31 
        Summary: "So I will let the echoes of your laughter fill my mindAnd I won't try to fight the drug you areMaybe you will welcome thoughts of me from time to timeAnd you'll just let me hang out in your heart"Multi-chapter fic set during the Say You Will tour, inspired by videos and reports from this time, but with my own spin on these events.**This story has originally been posted on Wattpad, and I will be posting it here as well to have it on both platforms. I'll be posting a chapter a day until the whole thing is posted.**
        Contents: Chapter 1: baby, tell me where you are
    

    


  

  
  
    
    Lindsey paces back and forth, practically wearing a hole in the linoleum as he walks. Dimly he registers the bustle of movement all around him, hearing the roadies finishing up last minute tasks, his bandmates' muffled conversation behind closed doors. Even more distantly he hears a muted buzzing as the arena fills up with eager fans. The noise seems to travel through him, setting his nerves alight. He plays his guitar mindlessly as he walks, letting his mind wander as his fingers strum through chords.It's been several years since he and Stevie had stepped out on a stage together, and even longer since they did it as a twosome. Lindsey can't help but be excited to be going back to their roots, Buckingham Nicks rising again from the ashes, years after the fact. He lets a small smile pull at his lips, leaning his head up against the cold cinder block wall as he continues noodling on his guitar. He closes his eyes and all of a sudden he's back in Birmingham, getting ready to play their first real show, for an audience of 5,000. He remembers it so clearly, can practically feel the breeze that had danced through his hair as the duo had stood together alone outside the small auditorium, taking a small moment for themselves before the show began. He sighs, remembering the feel of Stevie softly running her fingers up and down his arms as he had warmed up with his guitar, her humming filling his ears, giving him goosebumps that prickled down his neck. In that moment he had seen their whole future roll out in front of them like a red carpet, had set his guitar aside and gathered her into his arms, burying his head into her neck and inhaling the delicate mix of her floral perfume with a hint of patchouli oil. Having joined Fleetwood Mac weeks earlier, they had known that this would be their last chance to present Buckingham Nicks to the world, to realize the dreams they had whispered to each other in the dark as young musicians in love with their talent and each other. Heart filling up, he had dragged his mouth away from her collarbone and grabbed both of her hands, wrapping his long fingers around her tiny ones, bestowing each with a kiss, trying to explain without words exactly how much this meant to him. She had nodded silently; as always, she had understood his intentions, understood his very thoughts without him having to express them. Without a word, he had turned, swooped his arm around her shoulders and whispered in her ear, "You and me, baby. Buckingham Nicks. The world doesn't know what's coming for it."He opens his eyes and he's back in the bustling hallway in Columbus. He looks down at his hands, surprised to find he's started playing Stephanie on his guitar without even realizing it. A smile tugs at his lips even while a small pang tugs at his heart. They had headed out the door together as kids, as partners, as lovers, ready to take on the world with nothing but their love for each other and their shared dream to hold them together. Little did they know at the time how the world would indeed arrive, only to tear them apart. Yet now here they were, after 25 years of what Lindsey liked to call their own exquisite waiting game, Buckingham Nicks set to take the stage again. It had been a long way to go to come around to the beginning.He makes one more pass down the hallway and sees Mick going through his own pre-show ritual, working through some sort of weird drummer god tai chi routine. Used to Mick's antics, Lindsey exchanges a few words with him and continues down the hall. He appreciates that they each have their own pre-show routines, comfortable to each allow the other his own process after decades of performing to sold out crowds.He stops in the dressing room, laying down his guitar and grabbing a bottle of water. He takes a long drink, gripping the plastic bottle and gulping down icy cold liquid, breathing deeply as he attempts to ground himself. Still feeling butterflies swooping around in his chest and nervousness bubbling up in his throat, he heads back to the hallway to continue his pacing, idly wondering how Stevie's nerves were holding up. Her stage fright hadn't dissipated throughout the years, and he finds himself remembering a time when he had been happy to distract her before a show, allowing them to get out their nervous energy in more...physical ways. He smiles to himself, recalling a few tour stops on The Dance where they had barely gotten themselves out of the dressing room in time to meet up with their bandmates before being pushed out onto the stage by frantic stagehands. Now, though....well. Everything's changed. He resumes his pacing.He hears footsteps and sees Kristen heading towards him. He tenses as she reaches for him, touching his hands. When he pulls away slightly, she huffs, brushing her hand across his forehead, then gently nudging his chin up toward her in an attempt to make eye contact. He brushes her off again, and for a split second he sees her eyes dim with hurt. He feels a flash of guilt, and tries to downplay his slight. "Sorry. You know how I get before shows." She looks at him blankly, and he realizes that she actually doesn't. She's never been with him before a show before.She tries again. "Lindsey, maybe you just need to sit for a minute." She pulls on his arm, and he feels frustration well up within him."I don't sit before shows. I pace. I want to pace. I'm happy pacing." He attempts to pull away again gently, trying to control his irritation before he lashes out and says something unkind."Okay, but have you ever thought about the fact that you should be resting before-""I think I know how to handle my own show prep, thanks," he snaps, yanking his arm away sharply. Now she just looks annoyed, and he doesn't feel sorry anymore. "Can you just leave me alone for one second? I have my thing to do and I like to do it alone." She stands looking at the ground, her body radiating the uncertainty she must feel, and he relents, offering, "Why don't you go see if Mick needs anything, I think I heard him talking about needing help with his jacket."She takes this as her cue and leaves him alone again. He shakes out his arms and attempts to get himself back to the zen-like state he had been in just a few minutes earlier. He attempts to bring it back, all of it - the smell, the wind in his hair, the feel of Stevie's hands in his, but the moment has long since been interrupted. He gives up, heading into the dressing room where the others have set up camp. He's surprised to see Stevie and Karen in there, quiet in conversation. Usually Stevie gets her own dressing room, the boys sharing the other. She says she needs more room for all of her costumes and makeup and whatever else she totes from show to show, and he, having seen the multitudes of cases and bags and people she transports from city to city, can't disagree. Their eyes connect and she doesn't turn away the way he expects her to. He thinks back on their conversations before the tour, their shared excitement on being back onstage essentially as a duo. Right now, though, all he sees in those big brown eyes is panic, and he knows she's in this room having sought him out for comfort.Lindsey's arms twitch at his sides as he feels an almost overwhelming need to rush to her and take her in his arms, kissing the anxiety from her brow and burying his face in her sweet-smelling hair. He takes a breath to ease his disquiet and, eyeing Karen, decides to give Stevie her space for a minute, warmly hugging John as Mick slips in. He raises his eyebrows at Lindsey and Lindsey lets out a sheepish chuckle. Kristen must have found him.Mick just smirks at him, heading over to John to go through their customary pre-show verbal give and take. Lindsey shakes his head and finally approaches Stevie, who is standing ramrod straight, her back to the room. Her waist is so small, her dress accentuating her curves, and Lindsey wants to span his hands around it, feel her slight frame in his hands. She turns around, sensing his approach, and he gently grasps both of her shaking hands in his own, her nervous stare boring into his, the brown penetrating the blue. As he slowly rubs his thumbs over her trembling fingers, he finally finds the peace he had spent the last half hour seeking. She is his zen, always has been. He has spent a lifetime losing himself inside of those expressive eyes of hers. Not breaking eye contact, he kisses each hand in turn, relishing the feel of her soft skin under his lips. She's so nervous she can't even speak, can only nod, and just like he had in his memory, he turns and leads her to the stage without a word.He feels her hand gripping his, in what seems an almost desperate attempt to calm herself down, and he squeezes her fingers, attempts to allay her every fear and will his own calm into her through osmosis. They are led onto the stage, the roar of the crowd almost overwhelming all of his senses, and he feels himself tense as he prepares to separate from Stevie, ready to start the show. Before his fingers can untangle themselves from hers, he feels a small tug on his hand. He steps back into her space and she pulls him toward her, placing a small, tender kiss on his cheek. She nuzzles her nose lightly into his skin, then runs a finger up his jaw, drawing her mouth close to his ear, practically yelling to be heard over the noise. "You and me, baby. Buckingham Nicks." She pulls back, giving him her secret smile, the one that makes him feel like he can conquer the world if only he has her by his side.All of a sudden they're a team again, heading out to the stage to pursue their shared dream, the world at their feet. The lights come on, temporarily blinding him, and he holds onto Stevie's hand like a lifeline, his touchstone. Her small fingers squeeze his once more, and before he lets go to head to his own microphone, he gives her a wink and responds, "The world doesn't know what's coming for it."++++++++++++++++++++++++++"I just don't understand why it was necessary, that's all."Lindsey looks up and sighs, trying once again to look interested in what his wife is saying to him. Not for the first time, he questions his decision not to fight her when she decided she wanted to join him on so many dates of this tour. "Landslide is an emotional song for both of us. And besides, this is just what we do when we sing together. You're not in a band, you wouldn't get it."She gives him a look that tells him she isn't buying it, and he looks down again. "I must have forgotten the part where being in a band together means you have to make out after every song."He scoffs, pulling a guitar onto his lap out of habit. He picks out a random tune, needing a distraction as he rolls his eyes. "It was a small peck, Kristen, come on. You're overreacting."She leans down to look at him, forcing his eyes to raise from the guitar strings. "It doesn't matter what it was. You're married, Lindsey. Don't you see how embarrassing that is for me? How do you think that makes me look, you kissing your ex-girlfriend on stage for everyone to see? "Lindsey doesn't particularly care how it makes her look, but he dares not say so. That would cause a fight he's too tired to finish. He feels like he could sink into the bed beneath him, exhaustion permeating his entire being, settling into his weary bones. "You are making this into a way bigger deal than it actually is."In reality, Lindsey had been taken aback himself at the overture from Stevie and what it meant; he does realize what a big deal it was. But he refuses to let Kristen know that."A bigger deal than it was? You kissed her! On the mouth! You're f@ck@ng married!" Her voice is growing shrill and Lindsey stops his playing for a second, looking up at her in annoyance."Jesus Christ, keep your voice down, the kids are sleeping and that door isn't soundproof."She lowers her voice, though it doesn't belie the fierceness of her tone. "You need to get your sh@t together, Lindsey. It's inappropriate, and I will absolutely not tolerate-""Oh my god, get a grip, Kristen. This is exactly why I didn't want you here." He goes back to playing for a second before the guitar is ripped out of his hands. He stands, getting angry. She knows better than to touch his guitars."What the f@ck, Kris?""What do you mean, you didn't want me here? Are you f@ck@ng serious right now? Why the hell would I not come on tour with you?"He looks up at her and sees hurt, real hurt, shining from her eyes. He shifts around a bit, softening. He was being an @ssh@l@. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I'm tired. Of course you should be here if you want to be." He touches her face in apology, lifts her chin to make her look at him. "But it's not your place to 'tolerate' anything that Stevie and I do onstage. It is our business, not yours, whether you find it embarrassing or not." He moves his fingers away and sits back down, crossing his arms in front of him."You are being deliberately obtuse right now, Lindsey. I'm your WIFE. That should mean something." She leans down to look him dead in the eye, holding his guitar in front of her like a shield.He sighs. "Listen, you knew what you signed up for here, Kristen. You knew the deal." He looks at her meaningfully for a beat, and takes his guitar back, going back to his soft picking. "Me and Stevie are off limits for discussion."She steps back, and he sees her shoulders droop slightly. "I don't think-""You don't have to think. Stevie and I have our thing onstage, and it's not going to change. You are not a part of our band, and you are not in charge of our staging. In order to have a successful show, we need to feel passion during our songs, we need to exorcise those emotions. It doesn't work otherwise. I told you before you insisted on dragging the kids all around the country with you that you would see stuff on stage that you might not like. You agreed. End of discussion."She sighs heavily and he feels a change in the air between them, knowing he's won this round at least. "Fine. But I'm warning you, Lindsey, if the kids ask any questions about why Daddy's kissing Aunt Stevie instead of Mommy, you're going to be the one to explain yourself to them, not me. And they're the ones who are going to get hurt." He balks at that as she sweeps into the bathroom, leaving him alone with his guitar and his thoughts.He should have known she'd find a way to bring the kids into this. He pushes that idle threat out of his head and leans his head back, thinking back to the incident in question. To be honest, he had downplayed it to Kristen, but he very well knew the importance of the small kiss he and Stevie had shared on the stage that night. During The Dance it had become customary for them to share a hug after Landslide, but as they had looked into each other's eyes in that arena in Columbus, he had been surprised to feel her small hands caressing his cheeks, gentle and tentative as they ran over his slight stubble. His arm had wound around her neck almost automatically, his hand cradling the back of her head out of habit as she had leaned in closer. His breath had caught as her lips had pressed lightly against his, soft as a whisper. It hadn't lasted long, a few seconds at best, then she was pulling away, still lightly tracing his cheekbones with her thumbs as he forced his arm to let her go. He touches his hand to his lips now, feeling his heartbeat quicken as he wonders what this means for her. For him. For them.He puts his guitar down and gets into bed, pulling the covers up and wishing a different blonde was the one there to share the sheets. He pushes the memories of the last tour they'd been on out of his mind, a tour during which they'd been blissfully happy, sneaking into each other's rooms, lost in their shared delight in one another. They'd fallen asleep wrapped around each other, reveling in the feel of their entwined bodies, and each morning he'd woken up the happiest he'd ever been in his life. He jumps slightly as Kristen exits the bathroom, and he closes his eyes, pretending to be asleep while mourning the loss of the only time in the last decade his heart had felt truly whole.++++++++++++++++++++++++++He watches Mick and John head out to the stage for their second show, him and Stevie waiting for their signal to step onto the ramp. He turns to her, shaking their joined hands playfully, and leans in, murmuring, "You know, that kiss after Landslide last time got me in a little bit of trouble."She eyes him curiously. "I thought you had talked to her.""I had. At least, I thought I did." He raises his eyebrows. "She thinks our relationship is 'inappropriate'.""Who does she think she is?"He speaks without thinking. "My wife?"She tenses for a second, and he stills, bending down to look her in the eye. "Hey." He tugs her hand again, forcing her to look at him. "Hey. You know your place in my life, in my heart. And you know hers." She smiles sadly, and he feels a pull in his chest at the hurt she's desperately trying to hide in her eyes. "She's fighting a losing battle here."Stevie nods quickly, and Lindsey shrugs, adding, "She thinks because we signed a piece of paper a few years ago that gives her the right to decide what I'm allowed to do on stage. Or really, what you're allowed to do."He sees her eyes flash for just a second, and she pulls him close, muttering in his ear, "Over my dead body." She turns and leads him into the arena, pulling him behind her, a death grip on his hand.Fire runs through his veins as he sees that same flash in her eyes throughout their set, flirting her way through Second Hand News, her eyes silently daring him to make good on his pleas to lay her down in the tall grass. He gives as good as he gets in Say You Will, encouraging her to invade his space during his guitar solo as he raises his eyebrows and flashes her a mischievous smile. And as they finish Landslide, she turns to him, beaming at the roar from the crowd. This time he's ready, wrapping an arm around her neck and pulling her into his body as she leans in and grabs his shoulder lightly, planting a kiss on his lips. He feels rather than hears a growl welling up inside of her even as she lifts her back foot in the air. His eyes meet hers as she pulls back, smiling gently as their lips part. "You're feisty tonight." They both laugh as they move apart, but he doesn't think he's imagining the small glimmer of satisfaction shining through her brown eyes.He turns to swap his guitar out, still smiling like a goof as he hands his Taylor off to Ray. As he turns back to the crowd, he catches a glimpse of his wife just offstage, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. He eyes her for a moment, then shrugs almost imperceptibly, stepping up to the mic."This next song was written about 10 years ago, when I took my leave of Fleetwood Mac..." In the back of his mind, he acknowledges to himself that this was kind of sh@tty, but he just can't help himself. He doesn't want to question why Stevie is allowing him this moment of affection, and he's surprised that she is willing to give herself over to it, to display this hint of vulnerability in front of a crowd. He doesn't want it to stop. He continues, "...it's called Say Goodbye." He turns to Stevie and sees it, the gleam of triumph in her eyes. She was marking her territory, shouting out to the world that Lindsey Buckingham belonged to her. His eyes flick to the side of the stage once again, and Kristen is gone.Well, he thinks as he starts in on his strumming, he is certain that this tour is shaping up to be anything but boring.'
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