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Assistant: Title: To Be Desired
        Author: goyaliz49 goyaliz49 
        Chapter: 9/9 
        Summary: Feeling guilty that he had overlooked his wife for so long Colin attempts to apologize to Penelope for her not feeling desired before they were wed.But she explains in great detail to her husband how she has had men desire her before. Not only the aged gentleman her mother would thrust upon her. But also coveted bachelors. For example the Duke of Hastings, Lord Bridgerton and many more. At his request, she takes her time explaining all the times she has felt truly desired.
        Contents: Chapter 9: Debling
    

    

        
          
          
            Penelope returns from visiting Francesca in Scotland (very small time jump!) and begins to share her tale about Lord Debling's desire to be submit to Penelope.
          
        

      
        
          
          (See the end of the chapter for  notes.)
          
      
  

  
  
    
    Francesca Stirling had kidnapped Penelope Bridgerton. Well….that was not completely true. There was not an ounce of truth to that statement. At all. She had invited Violet and Penelope to visit under the guise of missing family. Penelope had correctly surmised that Francesca was expecting and would need her favorite sister’s support. It did not matter that she been born a Featherington and not a Bridgerton. It was the only thing they had all agreed upon and that was that Penelope was meant to be a Bridgerton. The family had just patiently waited for Colin to get it together and make it official. Penelope and Francesca had always shared a special bond as two observant wallflowers that preferred quiet pursuits. Any other Bridgerton sister would have only created chaos on the Kilmartin estate instead of easing it.Colin stayed behind needing to finalize the details with his printer (who used to publish Whistledown) on his first book “An Englishman in Greece”. He had tried to convince his wife that he should go with them but she giggled and said “Don’t be silly. I have survived your travels and multiple tours, I can certainly survive for two months.” The truth was embarrassing. He wasn’t sure Colin could survive without Penelope. He could not begin to wrap his mind around how she had managed with being so far from the object of her affection and build an empire. Just the mere idea of her traveling had been enough to send him into a frenzy.Dreams tormented him that a Scotsman would become enamored with his beautiful wife (they did love their red heads!) and convince her to leave this boring Englishman for a life in the highlands.Colin was unable to keep his hands off his wife in the weeks leading up to her departure. Driven by the madness of his jealousy and insecurities he began to seduce his wife at every opportunity and in every room. Fearful of finding the newlywed couple in flagrante delicto the staff began to dread entry into any room. Fortunately or unfortunately they soon discovered that the master of the house liked to loudly make filthy promises to his new wife and she reciprocated by loudly proclaiming her…..enjoyment of his attentions. So the house staff had ample warning of which rooms to steer clear of. Their bedroom was only considered safe when the couple had left their home or summoned them by ringing the bell. Otherwise no one would venture near that side of the home unless it was absolutely necessary. Penelope had been gone for two months. The two months had passed and all Colin could do was reread the letters she had written to him over the years. At night when the staff had retired for the evening, he would smell her perfume and take himself in hand. His wife remained a dutiful correspondent, however her letters were far outnumbered by Colin’s and there was no mention of that awful Michael Stirling. This helped ease his insecurities.A man once said that “a man in love feels no shame.” and Colin was not ashamed of how much he loved his wife. Mr. Bridgerton wanted his wife to remember that he had pleased her in all their couplings and was expecting to show her immediately upon arrival. So his letters included copious declarations of love whilst listing the many varied ways in which he would express those affections upon her return. Penelope had been away for two long months. Two very painful months. What if they encountered bad weather? Or Highway men? The closer he got to her estimated arrival date the more he worried. He attempted to refocus his energies into getting their home ready and ensuring that they had stocked anything she might need. Food or otherwise. Colin Bridgerton was a man determined to keep her at home for as long as was legally permissible before anybody could accuse him of kidnapping his own wife.Upon hearing the carriage stop, he sprints eagerly anticipating the moment that he can take her in his arms. When the footman opens the door Colin is too stunned to take another step forward.Penelope Anne Bridgerton is clearly with child. “You cannot be surprised my love. With all of our hmmmm…. rigorous….activities before I left.” She beamed at him. His mouth dropped open with the realization that he Colin Christopher Bridgerton was going to become a father. She was radiant. Penelope wore her hair in a braid resting on her shoulder. It appeared to be longer and thicker than before she left. Her skin held a beautiful rosy glow. And her eyes. He could not stop looking at her eyes. Her eyes shined with the joy of seeing her husband for the first time in months and included a mischievous glint at having kept this secret from him. He had a whole speech prepared declaring his love and devotion. But the only words he summon were “I love you.”When he was finally able to gather himself Colin walked over and pick up his lovely wife kissing her senseless. Right there on the sidewalk for all of Bloomsbury to witness. Colin did not care. His wife was home, and she had brought him the greatest gift he could have ever dreamed of. Pulling back he glanced down her dress through no fault of his own. He could not help the view his height afforded him. Noting his eye line she whispered “Yes. They are bigger. All of me seems to have grown.” They both giggled at his obvious appreciation. “A bath is being prepared for you. Cook has made some of your favorite dishes to be delivered to our bedchambers. Come wife, let’s get reacquainted!” He waggled his eyebrows. Penelope was surprised when he joined her in the tub. She sat in the warm water with her back flush against his front. He kept rubbing slow circles on her stomach and humming in contentment. They talked about how Francesca was nervous about becoming a mother herself. She mentioned how Violet was through the moon to become a grandmother twice over. She could feel her husband’s arousal and could tell that he was trying to temper his enthusiasm. “Hmmmm. Love. Will you let me rest one evening before we resume our intimacies?” She teased him. “Of course! I am just grateful that you are home. It is thrilling to start this new adventure with you. Waiting for us to be intimate will be easy now that you are home.” He continued stroking her stomach and peppering the top of her head with kisses.They dried off and went to bed. Penelope was being truthful when she told her husband that she was exhausted. But she was also painfully aroused. This last month was terrible for her. Not only did her body demand pleasure but she was having trouble reaching….completion without his assistance. She had hoped that the infamous Bridgerton competitive nature would entice him to try and woo her. To seduce her. To reduce to her a puddle of pleasure. Instead, he chose to let her go to sleep and began to doze off.  She lay there with her back against his front enveloped by his strong arms when she decided to take action. Pen began to grind her hips against his member feeling him harden. Colin grunted in his semi asleep state “Wife? I thought you were tired.” He gasped as his arousal took hold “But, I am more than capable of meeting this challenge.” he whispered in her ear. “What would you like me to do?” He let the question linger. She gave him another grind and a whimper.Penelope knew that her husband loved to hear the sounds she produced. “I have missed you husband.”Tucking his right arm under her, he then brought it up to began caressing her breast with an open hand. Gently ghosting the nipple with his palm and marveling at how sensitive she had become. Her body already so responsive and it seemed to heat more quickly than before. Colin then used his left hand to move her left leg up on his hip. Opening her up so he could tease her slit and circle her cl@t. He discovered she was soaked and the wetness had worked it’s way to her thighs. The little minx was so ready. But he wanted to be sure that she was begging for release before he brought her to new heights of pleasure. Unable to control himself, he began thrusting his c@ck against her round bottom slowly working his way in between her cheeks. Teasing her tight hole. This would be something they would explore later, he thought to himself.Colin licked the shell of her ear whispering “I have missed being inside you wife. All I could do was take myself in hand with the memories of your sinful body wreaking havoc in my mind. Thinking of what I wanted to do to you when your returned.” Penelope began to moan loudly. “This is the last time you leave your husband. You need to understand that I struggle to breath when you are not near me. It has been torture.” He emphasized this with an exceedingly strong thrust against her backside.“Yes. Please. Colin” she replied. He inserted his two fingers and began stroking her cl@t. “No. Try again. Wife.” Another aggressive thrust.“Yes! husband. Yes! Ugh! Ugh! I will be… Ugh! your good wife….and stay. UGH!” Barely able to gasp out the words as her pleasure took over her body and she came so hard that her hips kept jerking against his hand uncontrollably.Teasing her breast and kissing her neck. He aligned his hard c@ck at the entrance of her wet c@nt. Just waiting for her hips to begin to settle, a clear signal that she was coming down from her @rg@sm.Right before she stilled he entered her in one quick thrust. She felt so tight that he almost blacked out. His breathing became labored thrusting slow and deep. Penelope’s br@@sts were so sensitive that the cool air was overstimulating them so she swiped his hand away. Colin lowered his hand to her swollen stomach caressing it in awe that she was growing a life. She could feel another @rg@sm building “Colin! Faster!” She cried out. “You left a gentle bred lady and returned a greedy wonton!” He growled in her ear as he began to thrust harder. He could feel her tightening on his member. Unable to hold back any longer his thrusts became erratic. One hand possessively stroking her stomach, and the other frenziedly stroking her cl@t he began to feel the tightening of his bollocks. Penelope met his hips in a manic dance without rhyme or reason. “Wife! I need you to c@m for me!” He grabbed her hips with both hands trying to keep her in place. Penelope’s keening threatened to strip her throat as they both came. Overwhelmed by his love for her all Colin could do was pull her in and kiss the top of her and her shoulders. Unable to stop touching her. She giggled in her post coital glow. The happy parents to be slept through tea and dinner. They awoke after the sun had gone down and were unsure if the staff were still awake. Colin’s stomach grumbled loudly and Penelope laughed out loud at the sound. He kissed his wife on the forehead and realized that he had began to harden. “Love. The baby and I need to eat. Can we save this for later” she pulled away gently.He nodded in agreement and got up to retrieve their robes. “Let us go downstairs and see if I can find us something to eat.”They walked quietly to the kitchen and found that Rae had left a tray of food with a tea set waiting for them to heat some water.Penelope began to boil water for the teapot. “Dear wife, I have told our family to wait a few days before welcoming you home. Even so far as warning Eloise that I would call on the bow street runners if she arrived earlier than Saturday.” Penelope laughed at the sibling rivalry that existed between the pair always fighting for her attention. “I am sure she was not happy to hear that.” She rolled her eyes at her husband. It was one of the many benefits of being married to Penelope. He could always bar Eloise from visiting and keep his wife’s attention all to himself. He smirked at his wife knowing that her amusement would not last forever.“Penelope” he paused while pouring the hot water. “You have never mentioned Debling? I mean…it was a miracle that he did not propose.” “So dear husband…you believe yourself to be a miracle?” She replied. He arched an eyebrow in confusion.Penelope began her story by explaining that she was as surprised as everybody else that Lord Debling paid any attention to her. He was titled, wealthy, and quite handsome if not a bit strange. She could not explain what was odd about him, until he confessed his taste for more exotic pursuits. “What do you mean exotic?” Colin asked concerned. “Lord Debling explained that it was exhausting managing such a large estate. With so many people under his instruction. That sometimes…well…that sometimes he needed the company of a certain type of individual…a more adventurous..no I mean…a more assertive ..wait maybe a better word would be forceful.…..well…they would do something more….please don’t make me finish!” She exclaimed in frustration.“You don’t have to explain. I think I understand.” He replied.“Oh! So you are familiar?” She began to feel insecure about her ability to satisfy her husband, caressing her stomach idly with one hand. James Debling had been very clear about what he enjoyed. Penelope knew that her and her husband had not engaged in these types of activities. She began to wonder if he satisfied these urges in houses of ill repute and had just been kind enough not to tell her.The Whistledown part of her wanted to ask…no…needed to ask. But the Penelope part of her  did not want to know. She finally understood why so many married ladies turned a blind eye to their husbands liaisons. Colin immediately saw his wife’s misunderstanding and her insecurities. “Oh no! Pen. What I meant to say is I have heard talk at the gentleman’s clubs. But I have never partaken. Nor have I been interested to..well..to…you understand? I would be willing for us to…well.. I mean to say..I wouldn’t mind trying something of these things with you..But…I…I?” He drifted off unsure of what he was trying to say nor how to say it. He did not want to tell his wife about all of the things he had tried but he also did not want to lie to her. Colin was also left wondering what more Debling had explored and told his wife about. “But it would just be the two of us? The more I mean?” She responded, feeling some relief at how nervous he had become. “Yes!” He exclaimed laughing. Colin was grateful that his wife understood him without any judgement. Taking a deep breath she continued “This makes me feel more comfortable discussing it with you.”Penelope began her story of the promenade that opened her eyes to more of the Ton’s secrets.Lord Debling and Miss Featherington were having a lovely discussion about what drew them to their respective interests. It was not the most invigorating conversation but it did give her an opportunity to reflect on what their future could be like. Until Debling chose to change the subject towards an unexpected direction.“Miss Featherington. I would like to discuss marital expectations, I know it goes against social convention and could be considered unseemly.” He paused a little nervous as she could become offended at even broaching the subject. “Please let me know if you would like to keep our focus to the minutiae of the running the estate.”“I am amenable to discussing this sensitive topic. Possibly…negotiating what we would both be comfortable with. What do you say, my lord?” She looked away nervously.Debling’s eyebrows shot up in surprise unsure about his feelings at seeing how comfortable she was with him bringing up this discussion.“Well….well…” he stuttered when she giggled and looked at him. Smiling she said “Please do not fret. Young ladies may not know the details but we are presented with general ideas. So please be frank about your preferences as I don’t have any yet.” Debling blushed at her frankness and knew that is was important that he handle this conversation as delicately as possible.“I am sure you understand that what happens in a marital chamber is to occur only between husband and wife.” He paused and she nods in understanding “The expectation is that a husband will take the lead and have control over what happens.” Debling has noted how smart she is and waits for her to take in what he has left unsaid.Penelope looks up at him from the corner of her eye “One question. Most women need instruction at the start of their marriage. As we are told so little and are expected to entrust our education to our husbands.” She let the statement sit for a moment giving him time to think about his answer. “I assume that you would take the lead in this instruction?” She is unsure if she has stated this correctly.“I see. Yes. That is correct. I would be patient and gentle in teaching my wife. Anything out of the ordinary would not even be considered until after she has became settled in our…..hmmm… relations.” Debling was flustered as he understood that these things needed to be taken into consideration yet he was relieved that she was so open to discussing them. He was positive this conversation would not be the same with the likes of someone like Miss Cowper. Debling went on to explain the mechanics of the activities that would be required to produce a child. They kept walking in silence while she pretended to take this information in. None it was new to her, but he did not need to know that.“Yes. I understand. Now I would like to know what would be out of the ordinary?” She whispered. Penelope was a little scared but couldn’t help being curious. Debling took a deep breath and began to explain his preferred interests. “As I said before, I am in charge of a lot of people on the estate and on my expeditions. This can wear on a man. So I prefer that the women I engage with be comfortable taking over. I would like to not make any decisions. For example, I would like my wife to determine where these activities take place.” “Do you mean outside the bedroom?” She asked somewhat surprised by the idea. She knew it happened in illicit affairs but Penelope had never heard of it happening in a marriage. “Yes. my staff is very discreet. My wife would determine what we did and the best way to prolong the…the….the…the experience. As prolonging it would be torturous but enjoyable. I know it is contradictory in terms but please be assured that it is an apt description.” He finally finished.He rushed forward “Of course these things would be discussed, and agreed upon before anything happened. I would like my wife to learn to receive these attentions first…I mean…I would take charge at the start….and then.” He finished uncertain if he needed to say more. This was getting uncomfortably specific.“Hmmm….What kind of things would you show your wife? If you were to marry?” Her brow was furrowed in contemplation. Penelope had learned a lot from the men in her life. But this was new. As a gentle bred lady, everything she had been taught was about not having control. The image of being in complete control and having her husband summit was a novel idea for her.“I would begin by describing what I am about to do. For example, any touches would be explained beforehand. My wife would only be expected to confirm her acquiescence to each step. I would then apply more pressure or increase the speed of my actions….I hope this is not confusing?” She nodded for him to continue. “There would be knots that I would teach my wife to tie. Nautical in nature. Her actions would border on painful.” Pausing again“Oh!” She exclaimed in understanding and with a slight flush she nodded for him to continue. “Please be assured that I have acquaintances that are already comfortable with these activities and are willing to continue. Should my wife not enjoy or even be interested in participating. I would maintain these relationships without the marital act being a part of it.” Debling began to worry that she might become uncomfortable with further explanations or that someone might overhear their conversation. His focus on her was so great that he tripped, almost falling. She giggled at his awkwardness. This was a side of him she had not been privy to.“That is thoughtful of you. Most men would not even consider amending any existing arrangements for their wife. As a romantic myself, well I do appreciate that some things would remain between spouses. A lady could not guarantee that they would enjoy participating in said activities, but she could agree to at least explore them. One doesn’t know what they find pleasurable until they try it. Isn’t that correct? My lord?” He smiled at her wondering how he had gotten so lucky in finding such a gem. “I would need some time to think about all of this and will get back to you…on my thoughts before we discuss anything further.” Penelope smiled trying to put him at ease.They agreed and walked back to her family. After making arrangements to dance at the Queen’s ball, Debling gave his leave. This was not something she could discuss with Colin who was assisting her in finding a husband or with her friend Benedict. In the past Benedict would have been an ideal choice but after the incident he would blush and begin to stutter if the subject ever came up, and she couldn’t torture him with images of her being tied up and brought to completion. She was sure the man would die of a stroke. Lady Featherington was certainly out of the question with the poor advice she had given her sisters so that only left one person. Penelope knew that she would have to sneak out of her home later that day to discuss this development with her knowledgeable friend Genevieve. Colin was dying to ask his wife for more information but knew better than to interrupt her.Later that evening Penelope snuck out to visit the Modiste at her lodgings near the shop. Upon arrival the ladies shared a brandy catching up on the latest gossip. It was amusing that as Whistledown her young friend knew so much, but as Penelope she remained naive and an innocent. Genevieve knew that Penelope would only be here if she had questions or a concern and asked her to get to the point of her visit.Penelope shared everything that Debling had described which caused Genevieve to fall over in uncontrollable laughter. The image of this uptight lord teaching sweet little Penelope about how to be dominant in the bedroom was just too much for her.Genevieve was confident that Penelope would excel in this endeavor, even if she didn’t agree. “Please stop laughing! Gen! You are not helping. It is mortifying enough as it is.” Penelope huffed at her dear friend. “Ma chere! I find this a hilarious turn of events. I can’t help but wonder what your Mr. Bridgerton would think of this proposal? Would he be upset that Debling has made such a proposal? That he has tainted his sweet little friend with this knowledge? Or that he didn’t make this proposal himself?” Genevieve began to laugh again. All Penelope could do was sputter in frustration. “Oh ma chere. I am so sorry. Let me explain. This man wants to teach you how to tie him up and take your pleasure from him. Debling wants you to bring him close to completion, pull back, and bring him to the edge, again, and again, continuing this…shall we call it a dance? Until he is begging you for permission to peak.” She emphasized each you by pointing to Penelope with her calloused index finger.Penelope looked mortified at the idea. “Do not worry. Please trust me when I say the pleasure achieved at the end can be intoxicating.” Her eyes glazing over with some memory she doesn’t share. “There is a lot of trust he is offering with letting you tie him up. You would remain in control. Or he would…if the roles are reversed…oh my sweet girl….What do you think? Is this the husband for you?” Genevieve giggled. “I don’t think the idea itself is horrible. My greater concern is…Doesn’t this require a lot of trust between the parties involved?” Genevieve nodded in agreement. “Do you think he and I could build this kind of trust before he leaves for three years? You understand my concern?” Genevieve waggled her eyebrows and replied “Oh I am sure you would have no trouble building that kind of trust with a dear friend….maybe one Mr. Colin Bridgerton?” Colin needed to be as close as possible to his wife, so he walked over and lifted her onto the table in one swift move. Penelope loved when he did that, as it allayed the fears her mother had instilled in her about her weight. Still she could only yelp in response. He nudged her thighs open and stood between them. Gently enveloping her waist with his left arm and using his right hand to caress her cheek. He hummed and leaned in to rest his forehead on hers. Trying to calm his nerves as the suspense was killing him “Did you agree Asking unsure if he wanted her to say yes or no.Penelope smiled mischievously “I was still pondering the question when you interrupted my dance with Lord Debling. I never got the chance to decide let alone answer him.” He looked up and realized that this conversation had taken place the day before the ball.Violet Bridgerton had correctly surmised that he was on the very precipice of losing his future wife to another man.Colin smiled and said “I understand better now what he suggested. Yes. I have heard about such activities and we have explored the more tame versions. Would you want to try them in earnest with me? Peppering her with tentative kisses. “I just mean to say…uhmmm. I have been curious myself. Here we are…to very good friends..with a lot of trust between us.” He continued his kisses along her jaw and neck. She looked in eyes and saw that he still carried insecurities regarding his worthiness for her.“Yes. I am curious as well but I have been unsure as to how to bring it up to you. Tonight let us keep it simple. Just Penelope and Colin. No fancy moves. No rope!” She giggled.This allowed Colin to relax. She was right. He agreed it was meant to be just them. Always just the two of them. “Yes dear wife. Let us go to bed. No ropes, no fancy moves. Just us.” He kissed her slow and sweet and helped her off the table. “ Wait. One more question before we go. Do we have anybody else you think we should discuss?” Penelope Anne Bridgerton looked at her wonderful husband and replied “No. My love. You are all that is left to my story. Only you.”  
   Goodnight all!  

  
  

    
      
        
        
          This is the last chapter. I hope you guys have enjoyed celebrating Penelope as much as I have. This chapter has a lot of Colin "OBSESSED WITH MY WIFE" Bridgerton (which I love!!!). As promised a very happy ending!I have a few more ideas brewing and mapped out. The next story will have less sm@t and more angst. Even some alternate reality with a smidge of time travel. But it will still be fun. With everything going on in life.. I really just want a happy ending for my characters. I hope you do too!Thank you for the comments. I have loved reading them and responding. Also, Thank you for the kiddos and bookmarks (bookmarks are still my struggle!).'
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