请帮我修改以下Statment of Interest中逻辑不合理之处，Statement of Interest

Dear Admission Officer,

I am writing to express my interest in pursuing further study in the field of Mathematics or Statistics through the Master of Science program at McMaster University. With a solid foundation in statistics from my undergraduate education, combined with a passion for data analysis and mining, I am eager to refine my skills and contribute meaningfully to the field.

During my undergraduate studies in Statistics, I gained a comprehensive understanding of fundamental statistical concepts, mathematical modeling, data analysis, and research methodologies. Courses such as Linear Algebra, Calculus, Intermediate Probability, Mathematical Statistics, Design of Experiment, and Regression equipped me with essential skills for advanced statistical analysis. I am proud to have achieved an impressive GPA of 3.97/4.0, reflecting my dedication and excellence in my studies.

In addition to my academic achievements, I have actively engaged in conducting statistical research projects. Notably, my investigation on the effects of housing factors on fertility intentions using ordered Logit models showcased my ability to apply statistical models to explore specific outcomes. This research experience aligns perfectly with the rigorous statistical methods required in the Master of Science program.

Furthermore, I have contributed to the field of statistics through my publications in academic journals. These publications demonstrate my ability to conduct meticulous statistical analysis and highlight my proficiency in analyzing data and applying statistical methodologies in real-world research projects.

Alongside my academic and research endeavors, my computer literacy skills are highly developed. I am proficient in using statistical software such as SPSS, R Language, SAS, Excel, Python, and other commonly used tools in modern data analysis. This expertise will undoubtedly contribute to my success in the Master of Science program.

My internship experiences in the Business Development and Human Resource departments have exposed me to the practical applications of statistics in data analysis and management. I have gained valuable insights into the role of statistical methods in decision-making processes and understanding and interpreting data. These experiences have motivated me to pursue further education in statistics and develop a comprehensive understanding of statistical methodologies and software.

My passion lies particularly in financial statistics and econometrics. I thoroughly enjoy data analysis and mining, and find the evolution of the economy, from historical to forward perspectives, captivating. My aim is to unveil intricate patterns in economic and financial operations within a vast array of indicators. I am enthusiastic about gaining new software skills specialized for financial and economic analysis.

During my graduate studies, I plan to immerse myself in cutting-edge domains such as neural networks, big data machine learning, and deep learning. These areas offer innovative approaches to comprehend and predict economic trends and financial dynamics in our increasingly data-centric world. This exploration aligns with my vision to contribute meaningfully to this dynamic field.

In addition to financial statistics, I have a wide range of interests, including nature-related studies such as marine environments, deforestation, and the impact of public transportation on carbon emissions reduction. I am also intrigued by the animal kingdom and the influence of soil organisms on crops, conducting animal experiments, and their related implications. My vision involves genuine on-site research, direct communication with real locations, and interdisciplinary collaboration to explore uncharted territories beyond the traditional boundaries of statistics.

Moreover, I firmly believe that statistics, when applied to real-world challenges, serves as a powerful tool. I aim to employ statistical analyses to delve into financial indicators, assess and mitigate financial risks, analyze complex financial structures, explore the intricacies of the internet economy, and optimize financial asset allocation. My future career aspirations include obtaining a certified actuary qualification, solidifying my proficiency in the quantitative aspects of finance.

Upon completion of the Master of Science program, my immediate goal is to either pursue a Ph.D. or enter the workforce. While I have not yet defined my specific career path, I aspire to secure a good income and strive for career advancement in a field that allows me to apply my statistical expertise.

In summary, my academic and professional journey is marked by an insatiable thirst for knowledge and a steadfast commitment to its practical application. Through the Master of Science program at McMaster University, I am dedicated to acquiring in-depth knowledge in statistics, engaging in interdisciplinary research, gaining practical experience, and continuously improving my skills to achieve my academic and career goals.

Thank you for considering my application. I am excited about the opportunity to contribute to the Department of Mathematics & Statistics at McMaster University and further my passion for Mathematics and Statistics.

Sincerely,
[Your Name]