please summarize this nto points




Let us look at those things that cause the person to start to “rot”
As they are put in this punishable position of getting punished and avoiding punishing to not “justify” another round of punishment 

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***They fear this

 As the punished individual realizes that they are punished As they are consistently punished 

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summary: the punished realizes that they are under threat from the punisher. as a way to avoid further punishment. 






The punished individuals life could get flipped head over heels very quickly if the punisher doesn’t like the punished.  Feeling that they are under threat  could lead to further punishment. lest they get more punished and so r lest he/she would get punishedlest they get punished.  lest they get punished further,  That the punisher punishes them to not get punished.  seeking to stay away from more punishment  to make sure that the punisher does not punish the punished further.  as a way to stay way from any sort of punishment that a punisher could instill into them. lest they get punished further by the punisher. the punished individual fearing more In order to avoid further punishment,punishment as a way to avoid further punishment. 

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self suppression

basically: put aside their own intersts, do no express themselves or any pain they feel or harm that is done to them, suppress their pain, neglect themselves, no rebelling. (crush their own rebelling) 


They are unable to say that they do not like their punishment or else they could get punished again. They start and continue to give up on themselves. 
As the punished individual realizes that it is unsafe to share themselves, and associate vulnerability or sharing any part of themselves with aggression or further punishment, the punished starts to get averse to any sort of vulnerability or sharing 
Put aside their own interests 
they start to put aside the things that they care about
The punished doens’t express their situation as a result the punished 
The punished individual doesn’t share the pain that they are going through or their situation. 
As the punished person is in pain for their punishment, and they are unable to express themselves lest they get more punishment, 
The punished is unable to talk about the things that they care about since they are getting punished 
Are unable to identify or talk about the things they care about
They do not talk about the way that they are harmed, punished
Are afraid to express themselves 
they are unable to talk about the things that they care about 
They give up themselves
They give up things that they care about, their “case” 
The punished individual further learns not to share or act upon the things that they care about.
Give up their to gain the approval of others or to avoid change.
.lest they get ignored or punished further for having something to say other that differs from their punisher. The punished starts to observe that sharing themselves, anything that is different from the punisher, Seeing what the punisher would or won’t accept as a topic for conversation, as a sign or way for rebellion, The signal has already been sent that you do not matter and sharing anything about themselves or the things that they care about They do not share those things that are important  since it is often met with rejection or further punishment.. Since they are afraid of sharing anything that the punisher would dislike. or, they would get punished for sharing something that is different to the punisher would like them to feel, think, like.  lest they say or do something to make them susceptible to more punishment.
Their pain makes it unsafe to “connect” with others and they are unsafe to express this pain  They are so used to suppressing their pain out of fear of retaliation from the punisher. if they actually share the way that they feel, or that they “leak” through with expression, they continuously hide The punished individual may hate the punisher.
 They do not share things that would benefit them as they see that they are not noticed and get neglected if they are to share anything asserting themselves they do not share things that they care about.  The punished person is quick to neglect the things that they care about  So the punished person neglects the things that they care about 
Doing so would imply that they are sick (protest) or that there is something wrong with the way that they are treated.
The punished individual doesn’t feel seen or heard. They feel increasingly lonely and negligible. 
makes them susceptible/vulnerable to punishment from the punisher. is treated as a weakness since they are punished for sharing and that could get met with more punishment.could get them to get punished, ignored, rejected even more which would basically get used as another form of punishment towards the punished individual since doing so could get interpreted 
 Which of course would mean that either the punished person doesn’t deserve the punishment and the person that is punishing is actually harmful. Implicating such a thing would cause the punisher to punish them further teaching them not to reach out to others for anything since the status quo is you are punished and that is okay.
No mistakes
The punished individual is too afraid of making mistakes. 
the things that cause the punisher to punish them at any particular moment. . . At times the punisher is okay with something other times they are not. 
The punished might not understand As a result they are not able to get the connection between the things that they did/are doing its relation to a particular punishment 
As a result the punished is in a consistent state of Consistent turbulence  uncertainty/instability 
hypervigilant not to let too much of themselves come out, fighitng themsleves constantly and making sure that they are "following" the things that the punisher is telling them to do at that particular moment. 



instead they 


hypervigilence and obedience obedience 

basically -------   look to understand the punisher, to shape themselves according to their whims, take on their views etc and things that they care about. do not attempt to differ from the punsiher in anyway. 

approval seekin Look to others to provide their sense of safety. Are hypervigilant regarding the feelings of others and take on those feelings.
 As a result they must stay in a state of intense focus on the punisher and mold themselves according to the whims of the person that is punishing them 
in favor of the things that the punished person says that they should care about.
in order to do what others would like them/to do
in order to do the things that the other person says that they should do.
 However the punisher may say that they are actually very fine individuals.  the punished also is forced to say that the punisher is totally fine and is a fine individual when they differ from those of the punisher
others’ approval of their thinking, feelings, and behavior over their own Compromise their own to avoid rejection or aggression.
in favor of the things that the punisher says that they should like. 
If the person says you have to do this for me or that for me would then start to do those things that the punisher says that they should do out of fear that talking about the things that they (the punished inviduvual) cares about 
The punished individual is in contin
No retaliation
As they are in this “punished” position that is unable to punish the person that is punishing them  Afraid to consider doing so lest they get punished for considering so Which could put them in a situation to get more punishment. show no retaliation as a way to avoid any further punishment. 
They basically avoid punishing their punishers
thinking that this would cause the person that is punishing them to like them more. 
they give up on their ability to punish this other person



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forms of self suppression, hypervigilence and obedience. 


***They do this

They “accept” this punishment
They must accept their punishment. 
The punisher seeks to appear “fine” with the punisher
lack of boundaries


-Use fakeness to convince others of their capacity to be caring and compassionate.
Feeling rejecting of it is a sign that they are rejecting of it and that they may seek to punish the punisher. 
They fake their “nature” cover their hatred etc of the punisher and use fakness to appear as a fine individual.
May even attack people that attack the punisher as a way to prove their “loyalty” to them. 
They get better at faking and appearing to follow everything even when they are exhausted



Minimize, alter, or deny themselves.

The punished individual consistently alters their own experience, editing out the way they feel about their situation, the punisher etc since they cannot escape their situation so they try to lie to themselves about the things that they are going through.
minimize  - They tell themeslves that isn’t not as painful as it is, 
deluding or selective attention -try to look at it in a nicer way making it seem more okay  or altogether deleting any sort of issue that they have with the matter at hand. 
Mask pain in various ways such as aggression , humor, or isolation.
So they hide the pain that they are in as well. 
They dampen their experience and as a result. 
stay confused as a protection mechanism that could potentially hide their situation from the punisher that is punishing them. 
As a result of continuousu psychological gymnastics the punished individual corrupts themselves and is consistently alters themselves attacking any sort of anything that could get interpreted by the punisher as an attempt to punish the punisher or an initial disagreement or rejection of their punishment
They are also used to altering the situations taht they find themselves in that they do not like that they 
They cannot say to themselves that 
the punisher is a person full of hatred and should get punished. So they alter the way that they see the punishers behavior. 
As a result of doing so they again “learn” to see other people, especially those that are harmful, is “great” and “fine” individuals


Seeking out harmful coping mechanisms: Turning to harmful strategies to manage stress, pain, or emotional distress resulting from childhood wounds, such as substance abuse, binge-eating, or avoidance behaviors, which provide temporary relief but lead to long-term negative consequences.Seeking out harmful coping mechanisms
The punished may seek to deal with the pain of their consistent punishment by using assistive chemicals to feel something where all they are feeling is a sense of misery or pain etc from their consistent position of suffering at the actions of the punisher. This could be things from getting high off other relationships, sex, drugs, “accomplishment” , etc as a way to feel “high” to escape their suffering at the dealings of the punisher.
The may start to attempt to get rid of that pain through the use of substances, distractions, things to get them temporary relief or hits of “pleasure”. 
Allow addictions to people, places, and things to distract them from achieving intimacy in relationships
They distract themselves with people, places, and things to keep away from the things that they are experiencing that could again seem as evidence of rejection/rebellion of the punisher and initial steps towards punishing the punisher.
Engaging in harm: Coping with intense emotional pain, loathing, or distress from childhood wounds through deliberate injury, such as cutting, burning, or scratching, as a maladaptive attempt to release tension, numb emotions, or regain a sense of control.



Use indirect or evasive communication to avoid conflict or confrontation.
This is done with indirect or evasive communication. The punished is then able to say that this is not actually what they were saying and that they were saying the other thing that wouldn’t get them punished further. The punished doesn’t directly confront or talk to the punisher. As a result they speak evasively to avoid further punishment. 
Express negativity or aggression in indirect and passive ways

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***As a result

(so blinded by hoping this would happen) 



since they are attempting to avoid further rejection harm aggression punishment from the person that is punishing them. 
as a way to influence their punisher and cause them to start liking them more. 


The “logic” goes as follows. You see how i didn’t punish you for punishing me, now you can start to like me for doing so.


thinking that by doing so the punishers would approve of them.
so that those punishers start to approve of them or to avoid having to go through a confrontation with those people. 


Since the punished attains very little from the punisher, the punished serves the punishe. As a result the punished individual must also not admit to objection of their “punishment” as a result they say that they say to themselves that they are actually doing this since they are very unselfish and very useful to others and that they are actually very assistive with the punisher. Since they are made subservient to the person that is punishing them they feel that the person that is punishing them actually needs them and would be worse off without them
is “great” and “fine” individuals
See themselves as completely unselfish and dedicated to the care of others
Are extremely loyal,

The punisher knows that they are only doing this out of threat and wouldnt do it on their own
So they are incentivized to continue to do this since they are getting them to behave in this particular way (as far as they think) since they are punishing them. 
not getting “fed” and they are attacked for getting attacked. 


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***actually happens


Toxic attachment turns them into toxic people


**Toxic “superior” as reference **


fearing the punisher leaving
weakened
attachment

-
As they get punished more and more
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the punished can actually fear the punisher leaving them.
unable to take care of themselves as they have been severely weakened
However there is the way that they actually are as a result of getting put in this position for a while. This occurs as a result of staying in the punished position. 
As they are put in this position the punished individual starts to “rot” in the sense that they are 
now that they are by their punisher that is barely keeping them going. 
and unable to fend for themselves having abandoned themselves for such a while that they feel incapable of taking care of themselves without the punisher. 
people are incapable of taking care of themselves
Reinforced by their own position
remaining in harmful situations too long.
as they get more and more weakened they see that they are unable to care for themselves at all
As a result of consistently staying in the punished position, the person that is punished doesn’t get to go through taking care of themselves. They consistently see that they are punished and the punisher is using them in some way shape or form as punishment. 
since they have been weakened so powerfully by the punisher
they start to see just how distraught and destroyed that they’ve become.
Having been in a punished, neglected, position for so long, the punished individual lacks a conception of “wellness” 
-
This can result in them clinging and actually staying closer to the punisher
attachment to their punishers
lest they get “thrown out” all together
To the punished it is better to have a little bit then getting thrown out by the wayside with nothing at all 
The punished becomes attached to the punisher in some way. They are unable to escape. They stay in this position of the punished finding it harder to go elsewhere. Afraid to consider doing so lest they get punished for considering so
They punished stays in the miserable situation to prove their loyalty to the punisher and avoid FURTHER punishment. However the punished is by defintion in a position of punishment. 
 and that they can’t really do much without the person that is punishing them
start to depend on the person that is punishing them to take care of them.
so looks to the punisher to get strength or resilience. In a way they use the punisher as a reference point since they deem them as “better” the situation that they are put in. As a result they continuously monitor the punisher as though to ask “am i alright” “am i doing those things properly” etc. 
Seeking the approval of their abusers, consistently looking to them for their approval as a way to stay away from their punishment. 
The punished engages in the same dynamic with the punisher in general unable to escape the dynamic until the punisher finally agrees that the punished was not worthy of the punishment.






The punished as a result “resigns” to this situation. 

The point of the “punishment” is simply to make sure that the person stays in an “inferior” one down position. As they continue to get punished, unable to punish the person that is punishing them lest they receive more punishment, they “accept” this punishment. They start to “rot” as they accept this punishment seeing themselves as horrible people for 
 
they see that the punisher put them in the postion and so the punisher can get them out of it.
however the punisher is the person that put them in that postion in the first place.

as a result they 







*****Attempt to influence the punisher through the following tactics

See that the only way for them to be okay is for the punisher to say that they are ok?
The punished needs the punisher to approve of them. 
Seeking the approval of their abusers, consistently looking to them for their approval
The punished looks to the punisher to tell them that they are okay, undeserving of punishment or that they are fine individuals. 
The punished sees only one way to deal with the situation that they are in. to get the punisher to see them as not worthy of punishment. 
don't deal with the situation by telling the punisher to stop (they can't), and they can't escape since they are growing more and more dependent on the punisher as they are getting weakened and so on and forth
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They also use other tactics or leverage other tactics to make sure that they are able to “influence” the punisher into calling them a “fine” individual undeserving of punishment. It is a tug of war almost. The punished is consistntly trying to get the punisher to see the punished as a fine individual. If the punished does so then the punisher no longer attacks them, if the punished does so they are no longer able to punish them. 
They also use other tactics or leverage other tactics to make sure that they are able to “influence” the punisher into calling them a “fine” individual undeserving of punishment. It is a tug of war almost. The punished is consistntly trying to get the punisher to see the punished as a fine individual. If the punished does so then the punisher no longer attacks them, if the punished does so they are no longer able to punish them.
The punished is racing with the punisher to seem like they are not worthy of punishment, consistently trying ot get the punisher to claim that they are not worthy of punishment anymore. 
The punished sees that if the punisher looks at them saying that they are fine then they could stop getting punished. That they would “win”. 
codependency
Attempt to convince others into compliance with them or “systematize” them in a way that works for them and not the other person
The punished attempts to systematize or reformat the way that the punisher engages with them. Doing so makes them “sneaky”. They attempt to “win” against the punisher by winning at this tug of war. They would use things at their disposal to make sure that the punisher “loses”, finally admits that the punished is a fine individual, undeserving of punishment. 
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Basically that relationship becomes a distraction from everything else they could be doing form the people that could be treating them right. 
Doing so could put them in a position to finally punish the punisher for all the things that the punisher has done to them. 
Diminish their capacity to have relationships by declining to use the tools of recovery
Repetitive relationship patterns
Repetitive relationship patterns: Unhealed childhood wounds can lead to repeating harmful relationship dynamics or attracting similar partners. Patterns of codependency, toxic relationships, or emotional abuse can stem from unresolved traumas from the past.
-Repetitive relationship patterns: Repeating relationship dynamics or attracting similar partners due to unhealed childhood wounds, resulting in patterns of codependency or abuse.
Seeking out toxic relationships: Unconsciously gravitating towards harmful, codependent, or abusive relationships as a result of unhealed childhood wounds, repeating detrimental relationship patterns and engaging in destructive behaviors.
As for those that do not punish them, they fear that they might get figured out for the “rotten” person that they are and get punished further, as a result they seek to punish those individuals preemptively or hide from them




??
Of the punisher. 
Two faces. The presented self that is shows to the punisher as a way to avoid punishment. 
Doing so again would indicate that there is something wrong and that the punisher should get punished for the harm that they are causing and so the punished person, 




Seeming like a great person


As they are consistently in a position of punishment. 
 as a way to stay away from their punishment. 
considering that they are in a position of punishment.
The punished invidual feels that they are “inferior” 
that could get them punished. 
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and must become more. 
That they are not a fine person, 
The punished individual attempts to “hide” their rottenness through the seeming like a fine individual. 
The punished seeks to make no mistakes in their life. 
overcome feeling less than 
Everything about them that could potentially get used as a justification for further punishment is removed or dealt with. 
Obssessive attention to detail to ensure that they are not making mistakes 
The punished idnvidual does not admit mistakes. 
Doing so could potentially put them in harms way to get punished further by the punisher. They fear admitting a mistake. Blaming other people is normal, or events. Basically the point is to put the blame on something else as a way to stay away from the harm that they would face if they were to admit that they are the ones that made a mistake. 
Have difficulty admitting a mistake.
Overachieving
The punished individual attempts to “hide” their rottenness through the seeming like a fine individual. 
seeking validation through material possessions
The punished sees that the punisher is able to attain things from the punished by taking things from punished. The punished looks to attain material things to show that they have as much if not more things. That they are somehow “fine”, undeserving of punishment
Try to make no “mistakes”
Use recovery jargon in an attempt to control the behavior of others
The punished may seek to use buzzwords of the culture or place attempting to leverage those things over the punisher. For example if the punisher aspires to “wealth” then the punished would say things like not punishing others makes you more wealthy. Wealthy individuals do not punish others, etc. the punished uses the things that the punisher aspires to then says that the thing that you aspire to isn’t attained through punishment of the punished. Freely offer advice and direction without being asked.
The punished individual attempts to “hide” their rottenness through the seeming like a fine individual.
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seeking people to clap for them.
They think that if only they can become excellent in some way this would prove that they are undeserving of punishment. That all the things that happened to them were not necessary, unjustified. 
Doing so could potentially “liberate” the punished from the punishment of the punisher. 
In the case of this not happening the punished fears that more punishment could befall them. As  result, the punished seeks to “leverage” the punishers approval of them as a way to (de)justify their punishment or as a way to prove that they are “fine” individuals not deserving of punishment or further punishment.  
Seek recognition and praise to 
Thinking that if they could have the things that the punisher has then they could get put into the punisher position and punish the punisher. 
As well as do moer as the punisher does and ge “liked” by the punisher getting them closer to staying away from the punisher’s punishment. 










Seem like a likeable person

they get punished further. 
The punished individual must maintain themselves in fine position with the punisher.
Try to get the punisher to like them
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As a result they find those things that the punisher finds likeable and attempts to emulate those things in words, actions, etc to stay in fine position with the punisher lest If the punisher likes that they do not talk or talk back, stay quiet, do the things that they are told without consideration, then the punished individual seeks to do those things to get praised by the punisher and avoid further punishment. Seek to appear to be right in the eyes of others and may even lie to look presentable.
The punished may use sex or sexuality to gain the approval of the punisher avoiding further punishment. 
Use sexual attention to gain approval and acceptance.
The punished may use sexual attention to gain approval 
Lavish material possessions, access and favors on those they to influence
To further influence the punisher, the punished seeks to lavish the punisher with things to make sure that they are not punished further. 
Attempting  to influence the punisher, the punished starts giving the punisher advice or telling them the way the world “should” work. Become resentful when others decline their or reject their advice.
The punished starts to see taht they can get leverage over the punisher by becoming useful and get resentful when the punisher rejects their “advice” since this would stop the punished from steering the punisher in the direction that the punished would like the punisher to go into.
Also as the punished is made to do more and more of the things the punisher tells them to do they start to gain leverage over the punisher. As a result they see that those that share things with the other puts themselves in a position to get exploited. 
Get sex when they are looking for care and nurturing
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Doing so could get the punisher to finally admit that the punished is a “fine” individual, not deserving of further punishment. 
Seeking the approval of their abusers, consistently looking to them for their approval as a way to stay away from their punishment.
This is done to make sure that the punisher would stop punishing the punished. 








**Unable to connect with others that could engage in a stable/healthier dynamic**
**toxic isolation



As the punished starts to associate relationships with turbulence, punishment, 
The punished individual seeks to isolate themselves from the people around them lest they get discovered or punished further. There is little incentive to connect with other people on a personal level lest they get discovered for the “rotten” preson that they are, or lest they get put in a following situation where they are consistntely used and “punished” for not doing the things that the punisher says that they “should” do. While most relationships can seem enjoyable for people, the punished idnvidual seeks to isolate themselves from them since they associate relationships with pain
As a result the punished individual is unable to go through their own self and are denied their own self as a result. they are constantly acting and putting up a front
Difficulty forming attachments
isolation: Withdrawing from social interactions, relationships, or support systems as a defense mechanism against threats or emotional pain resulting from childhood wounds, 
Rejection of closeness intimacy 
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Have difficulty identifying what they or others are going through
They are unable then to identify their own situation and 
Do not recognize the unavailability of those people to whom they are attracted.
are unable to see if other people actually like them or not. 
Having gotten used to denying their own lives or altering themselves consistently, the punished individual is unable to connect with others since they are not able to recognize them. 
etc, they further reject attachments or relationships with others 
“learns” not to share themselves with other people and not to connect with other people in any way shape or form
Sharing oneself are a sign of weakness.
Furthermore the punished can start to see that it is when the punisher starts to get close to them or allows them close to them that they become vulnerable to the punished’s antics or punishment. As a reuslt the punished further pushes away any sort of closeness as a way to not allow themselves to get punished further or open the door for further punishment or harm
The punished doesn’t accept words of kindness or care or nurturing lest they themselves become malleable or susceptible to influence by the punisher. Instead they only allow sex since it is a safe way for them to attain power in the relationship with the punisher or as close as they allow themselves to get to “closeness” with the punisher.
 There is too much animosity between the punished towards the punisher to actually feel like getting close to them. 
Suppress themselves to avoid connection with others
they then have difficulty expressing themselves. and so they avoid any actual deep connections with other individuals.
 to the 
Doing so could also put the people that they are connecting with in harms way and make them susceptible to punishment. 
As a result of this constant denying of their own and dampening of their own, they do not care about others since they cannot connect with them. They do not feel empathy since doing so could again open up pain that would basically get counted as evidence of the punisher.
are not able to connect with other people are empathize with them
Do not care about others or the things that they are going through
Are embarrassed to receive recognition, praise, or tokens etc
As the punished individual continues to get punished they are embarrassed to get praised or receive things as this would indicate that they are not actually horrible people. That they might actually be a fine individual, however this acknowledgement may cause them to get punished as it is a (de)justification of their punishment. It is to say that they are deserving of recognition praise or other things. Their apprehension towards it is a way to stay clear of punishment that could befall them for basically having the audacity to think that they don’t deserve punishment. It is in a way an act of rebellion. 
Withhold expressions of appreciation
The punished doesn’t express appreciation towards the punisher (atleast not sincere appreciation) since they feel consistently punished under the thumb of the punisher. As a result the punished do not seek to make the punisher feel better about themselves lest the punisher thinks that they are a fine individual or that punishing the punished is okay or that they accept it.
Withhold expressions of appreciation
The punished doesn’t express appreciation towards the punisher (atleast not sincere appreciation) since they feel consistently punished under the thumb of the punisher. As a result the punished do not seek to make the punisher feel better about themselves lest the punisher thinks that they are a fine individual or that punishing the punished is okay or that they accept it.
The punished may also use rage/intimidation/threats of violence to not get punished
punished.
The punished seeks to avoid actual physical or sexual “closeness” to stay difficult to influence. Instead the punished seeks to use these things to influence. Therefore the punished stays “cold” and hard to influence while also attempting to make the punisher malleable (or flexible)
The punished attempts to put the punisher at an inferior position by pulling them close to them so that the punisher would then chase the punished, then when the punisher is chasing the punished the punished continues to run away to keep the punisher chasing the punished positioning themselves as a prize or something unattainable. A way of saying that they are a fine thing
Pull people toward them, but when others get close, push them away.
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As a result they are unable to connect with other people or reach out to them. 
not feeling seen or heard
leading to loneliness and disconnection.

 






























**the need for unfair/asymmetric relationships


Refuse to cooperate, compromise, or negotiate
The punished refuses to cooperate, compromise or negotiate when they would safely do so without further punishment.
Pretend to agree with others and tactically do the things that they’re trying to do 
The punished pretends to agree with the punisher in terms of his/her ways or direction

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The punished individual doesnt feel like connecting with the punisher and refuses to work with them. however, they are in the punished postion and feel forced to work with the punsiher and do as they are told lest they get punished further. as a result
 As they the punished person is in the punished position they see all the things that they bring the punisher and all the things that they serve the punisher in. as a result they feel that they are very capable when the punisher tells them to do something that the punished sees benefits the punisher. When the punished sees that they are adding to the punisher they feel that they are somehow superior since they are adding something to the punisher. 
 To state that the punished is actually a fine person that is not worthy of punishment. The punished seeks to make sure that the punisher in the relationship is under their influence instead so that they do not get punished. 
Find it very important to make sure the punisher likes them so they are ready to control or manipulate or do whatever it takes for the punisher to like them. 
Having tasted some semblance of authority in the relationship, the punished starts to understand that “superiority” in the relationship is a must in order for them to avoid getting punished in the relationship. And since they cannot currently punish the punisher, the way to do so is by becoming useful and essential in the punisher;s activities. 


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The pusniehd may seek to consistently maintain “control” or influence over the punisher
 It is a form of “weakening” the punisher to ensure that they punished then is able to leverage “power” over the punisher establishing the punished in the position of the punisher taking out all the punishment that has been done to them to the punisher.
 while secretly or tactically attempting to sabotage them or gaining power/leverage over the punisher
Control issues: Childhood wounds related to feelings of powerlessness or lack of control can lead to a need for control in various aspects of life. This can manifest as micromanaging, perfectionism, or struggling to adapt to change and uncertainty.
They seek to only position themselves as superior or the escape the punished position. The more that they are in the punished position the more they seek to use these things to seek a “superoir” position to punish the punisher.
Use the punishers tactics with the punisher if possible or with others
themselves as superior to other
 At this point the punished would either move on or seek to put the punisher in the position of the punished only repeating the same dynamic that they were in. When the punished moves on they may “enjoy” the “victory” over the punisher. They may actually seek to engage with a different “punisher” to “beat” them, getting the punisher to again admit that the punished is a fine individual, not worthy of punishment. By doing so the punished (in some way) seeks to WIN a sense of “fineness” feeling that they are somehow worthy for having done it once, twice or as several times as possible at times. 
The punished gets habituated to the relationship dynamics that they engage with with the punisher. Through their acquired behvaiors, they engage with themselves, the punisher or others; reengaging them in these dynamics either in places that they were not there or fitting right in in places that they are. 
The punished generally finds some way to find themselves “superoir” to others. Either as a person that is getting punished but does not punish so they are “superior” for not punishing those wicked people that punish. They might see themselves as better then the punisher for punishing them. They may see themselves as “superior” for sharing their advice with the punisher and that they shouldn’t get punished anymore. Having been in a situation where only 2 options are available, the inferiorly punished or the superior punisher, the punished sees themselves as superior as to maintain their “innocence” from punishment. 
Have to feel “superior” in order to have a relationship with others.
Control issues
Adopt an attitude of indifference,inability , authority, or rage, or victimhood to manipulate outcomes
The punished may pretend that they don’t care about the punishers approval as a way to cause the punisher to stop punishing them or to say wow you are such a fine individual. 
The punished may also appeal to their authority or to another one saying that this person or authority states that i should not get punished. 
The punished may also use an appeal to their inability to garner sympathy from the punisher as though to say they are so petite weak unable therefore they shouldn’t get punished. 
Force that their be met by others.
The punished may attempt to force the punisher to take care of them or admit that they are not worthy of punishment by forcing the punisher to take care of them. Doing so would entail that the punished is not worthy of punishment but care instead
Act in ways that invite others to reject, shame, or express anger toward them.
The punished may act in ways that causes the punisher to reject shame or express aggression towards them as a way to “bait” the punisher into doing something. This reaction not only makes the punished feel that they have influence over the punisher in some way, but are then able to leverage the punisher’s behavior against the punisher to state that the punisher is inferior in some way. 
At times by doing so they can guilt trip those other people to get them to apologize or feel sympathy towards them or like them in some way. 
The way it works, they do something shitty, then apologize for it, then the person consoles them comforts them and says it’s okay don’ worry about. 
expresses their pain through aggression (to other individuals that cannot punish them), 
humor (so they have the ability to hide behind that they were only joking that this is not the way that they feel) or isolation as a way to avoid other people etc. Since they feel unsafe expressing themselves they “act” “out” in destructive or harmful ways to other people. 

Engaging in harm

Label others with their hated traits
The punished may say that the punisher (or someone else) is a horrible thing. That they should get punished instead of the punished, this is done as a way to avoid further punishment by the punisher. 
Blaming others etc as a way to divert attention
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Use blame and shame to exploit others 
The punished uses blaming, shaming to get the punisher to stop punishing them. Doing so could take forms of shaming the punisher for punishing, could take forms of blaming the punisher for punishing. Leveraging things against the punisher to blame shame them to get them to admit that the punished is no longer deserving of punishment. 
Excessive criticism
Excessive criticism: Habitual talk, blame, or harsh judgment as a coping mechanism for feelings of unworthiness, failure, or inadequacy 
The punished criticizes themselves heavily as a way to take on the punisher’s views of them and to protect themselves from further punishment. The converse of that is that they also criticize others harshly and consistently. However in the case of the punisher, they do not openly criticize them lest they receive further punishment. 
The punished is so used to getting yelled at, faults found at every situation that they find themselves in, it almost becomes habitual that they find fault with others as a result, and that they judge other people harshly as they have been treated. 
Judge what they think, say, or do harshly, as not enough.
Having been on the receiving side of consistent harsh and rejecting words, the punished only has harshness to give. The punished individual is absorbs amalgamations of punishment, harshness, rejection, aggression. As a result they basically only have that to give others. They dare not pass it towards the punisher lest they get punished further so usually they pass it towards themselves as a way to protect themselves from further punishment. As they fail at more things they feel this even more so








































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Don’t grow themselves?  (the opportunity cost of that)

Have difficulty doing things.
The punished individual consistently feels that they are not “enough” by the reference of the punisher, consistently telling them and making them feel like they are not “enough”. Consistently finding fault with them in areas as a way to make sure that they do not feel that they are undeserving of this punishment. As a result the punished consistnetly feels that they couldn’t accomplish the things that they are trying to set out to do. Furthermore they are told that the things that they are trying to do are not worth it in the first place. They are instead to do the things that the punisher is telling to do and that is worth it. 
So they are unable to care for themselves and as a result continue to “rot” away through the imposed neglect that the punisher asserts over the punished individual. 
Getting engaged in this tug of war distracts the punished from attaining things in their own life or achieving more things in their own life. Not punishing the person that is punishing them. 
For accepting this punishment (therefore they are horrible people for getting punished)
As the punished individual sees themselves in situation after situation as a punished individual the punished individual starts accepting that they are a “rotten” person. That they are not worth much. That they are more deserving of this punishment the more that they get “punished”. 
As a result the punished individual seeks to “hide” their “rotteness” from the world. 
As a result they are not able to start new projects, cooperate with other individuals, or attain certain things. 
Have difficulty getting started, meeting deadlines, and completing projects.
Difficulty in setting and achieving goals
Difficulty in setting and achieving goals: Struggle with establishing clear objectives, staying motivated, or following through on plans due to childhood wounds that undermined discipline, or in one’s capabilities, hindering personal growth and success.
Have trouble setting priorities and boundaries.
As a result they consistently miss out on opportunities to grow or nourish themselves. As a result they wilt away or deteriorate. 
Again they wilt away and are increasingly weakened and more dependent on the punishing individual that has put them in this “punished” position. 
Trauma: Experiencing a traumatic event, such as abuse, violence, or loss, can lead to symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, depression, and difficulties in regulating and relationships.
Enmeshment: Being enmeshed or overly involved in a caregiver’s emotions, boundaries, or can lead to a lack of autonomy, difficulty establishing boundaries, and struggles in forming relationships.






sabotage
sabotage: Unconscious feelings of unworthiness or fear of success can lead to sabotaging behaviors that hinder personal growth or achievement. Self-sabotage may manifest as procrastination, self-doubt, or engaging in destructive habits.sabotage: Engaging in self-destructive behaviors that hinder personal growth or achievement, stemming from feelings of unworthiness or fear of success.Engaging in destructive behaviors: Coping with emotional pain, stress, or trauma from childhood wounds by engaging in harmful activities such as substance abuse, self-harm, or risky behaviors that undermine well-being and hinder personal growth.
The punished may seek to punish themselves at times or to actually put themselves in “inferior” positioning with the punisher. As they are able to position themselves as the “punished” or “unable” they then have more drive to beat the punisher. 
This could also result in making the pain that they are in visible on to their bodies or their lives. 
They also may seek to incapacitate themselves as to not get punished further
 feeling like a burden
The punished individual then feels like a burden since they aren’t taken care of. As a result they “learn” not to reach out for support.
Think they can take care of themselves without any from others
Inflated conception of their ability to take care of themselves (opporutnity cost) 
Coupled with their lack of practice in doing so, along with their excessive need for extreme “achievement” and a general lack of direction. They basically psyche themselves out. 
They do not see other ways of moving forward like cooperating with other individuals or working on themselves improving themselves in different areas of their lives such as their wellness, wealth, or relationships. 
Harshness 
Inability to show oneself kindness, understanding, or forgiveness in response to mistakes, setbacks, or self-criticism stemming from childhood wounds characterized by self-judgment, harsh criticism, or a lack of nurturing.
























For engaging in these dynamics, the punished individual develops a few “characteristics” that make it almost impossible for them in engage in a “healthy” relationship. A “healthy” reltionship that is based on mutual growth becomes almost “foreign” to the punished individual. They get habituated and inundated with these specific behaviors. Overall the punished person starts not to
Quick to accept destructive behavior from others
Think those that treat them worse are “better” 
Get attached to them aiming to prove that they are “ok”
Try to please those that harm them instead of disengaging and ending the relationship
Feel horrible consistently. 
Go numb to themselves and the things they care about
Doesn’t ask for things or set up mutually useful relationships. It remains a one way street of getting “used” and trying to seem “okay”
Feel worthless and use control as a way to maintain stability in their lives
Use words and actions to manipulate 
Treat others the same way they were treated
Use “my way or the high way” tactics 
Don’t work on things they care about or move towards them
Sabotage their own efforts or the efforts of others to work with them towards the things that they care about



Such a person becomes increasingly difficult to work with as long as they are engaged in these destructive dynamics and remain in the “punished” position. Although a person may look at such a person and think them a useless person, it is again, simply because they are kept in 
the “punished” position with punishment tactics. 





As a result of constantly engaging in these toxic dynamics, the punished are only able to engage in these behavior dynamics. They get habituated to them. They feel “famlliar” to them while other dynamics that may affect them usefully are “foreign”. They do not know the behaviors to engage in to develop or maintain those relationships and so they are stuck either developing these dynamics where they weren’t there or fitting right in where they are pushing out and away anything that isn’t the punisher punished dynamic or turning other dynamics into the punisher punished dynamic. 
The punished generally is not shown care, consideration etc. as a result they lack these things in themselves. They are harsh towards others as well as the way they reflect on their own behavior. They see those at fault as deserving of punishment, and themselves as well. 
Judge harshly what others think, say, or do
plus they are unimportant. 
(they don’t know to look for anything else or other things)
As seen, the punished is consistently put in a state of acquiescence that is to serve the punisher at every turn. THe punisher leverages their punishment against the punished. If the punished is unable to punish the punisher, the punished then starts to develop into a punished individual with certain characteristics. The dynamic between the punisher or punished is a predictable one that is telling of the relationship between the both of them. Not only that, but it also keeps the punished or punisher locked into the same positions. Every struggle that the punished puts up in this dynamic gives the punisher further incentive to punish the punished. The more the punished is punished, the more they struggle to let go. If the punished stops struggling, the justification of their punishment is that they struggled earlier, or that if they are able to struggle they will start to try to punish the punisher for all the punishment that the punsiher put them through. Therefore. The punisher has no incentive to stop punishing the punished. If the punished promises to stop struggling to end the dynamic, to the punisher, this only is a precedent for the punished to get stronger possibly punishing the punisher at one point for their punishment of the punished. 



It used to be confusing to examine the dynamic between the punisher or punished. However as you are now able to look at the dynamic between two people with this lens, you could quickly identify the punished individual within a dynamic. 



Of course one may think that since they are able to identify the punished then that automatically makes the other person the “punisher”. However, it is not always the case since at times the now punished was once upon a time a punisher him/herself. However, by identifying the punished it may simplify the dynamic between the punished or punisher for the time of examination. 

Now that one aspect has been relatively stablizied in the punisher punished dichotomy it is now easier to examine the punisher to start to “get” the way that the punisher operates.