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 So coffee is made up of two very different things, beans and water. And all you need to do, you know, if you were to combine beans into water, it's not coffee, you know, it's just beans sharing the same space with water. And it's not a very appetizing drink at all.

Um, and so the only way to make coffee is you have to grind up the beans. The water has to be boiled, and then you get wonderful coffee, and you're highly caffeinated and all that. So, it's all, and you're happy.

So, both things have to have to change fundamentally in order for them to be one. And I, and I don't think we signed up for that in marriage. We just didn't think about that.

We didn't think that in order for us to become a, we, me, has to change. You're listening to the Wisdom for Wealth for Life podcast brought to you by blue trust. This episode is part one of a four part series, Seasons of Money in Marriage.

The first season, newly married on this panel. We'll have two married couples, Brian and Jen Goins and Ed and Amy Zinski, hosted by blue trust, senior financial advisor, Marshall Potter. If you're single and wanted to be married or engaged, or newly married, this episode is for you.

They were excited to have two experts in marriage who have a lot of background with marriage speaking and counseling and practical life experience having processed it themselves. And so, we're excited to introduce Ed and Amy Zinski and also Brian and Jen Goins. Welcome.

And I'd love for the couples just to get to know you a little bit better. So, tell me a little bit about your work in Mary, telling you've been married a little bit about your family. Yeah.

So, we've been married for 24 years. Yes. And we have, we have four kids.

Um, our oldest is 23. We've got a daughter that's going to be 21 next week. And then we have a 18-year-old and a 13-year-old.

So yes, we have all the stages right now. Yes. And we work with a sports ministry called athletes in action.

So, we work with college and professional athletes, um, doing ministry with them all over the country. And then we've been working with family life with their weekend to remember marriage ministry for around 20 years. Yeah.

Yeah. Awesome. Thank you.

Yeah. Brian and Jen. Well, we're Brian and Jen Goins, and we have three awesome kids.

We have a 24, 21 and a 16-year-old. And then we have been married for 27 years. I didn't know.

We beat you guys very longer than you guys. They've been on the speaker team at family life for a little bit longer. Right.

Right. So, we also minister to couples through family life's weekend to remember and speak at marriage conferences around the country. And we've been doing that for about 17 years.

And then we also work at my local church in Melbourne, Florida, and Brian works at family life full time. Yeah. So that's kind of our, our vocation and where we work.

Yes. That's good. So obviously living and breathing this stuff, which is great.

So if you can remember back newly married, right, you're getting married and maybe you go on, you have the wedding, go on the honeymoon, you come home and you're having your first discussion about something, and you find out, Hey, we don't exactly agree on this. So, talk about the process of finding unity, exploring unity. How did you process those things? Was it that you were, were you processing some of those in advance, or was it just, as you came into marriage and you were discovering that, what was kind of the process you found? And I say that just because I think of there's John Maxwell talks about like a lot of life is making the right decisions and then maintaining those.

But we know that, you know, up to 40% of couples end up getting divorced because of money alone. And there's lots of other reasons. So, I feel like the exploration is what are those right decisions, and how do we come to that unity together? So, tell me about that process and what that kind of looked like at the beginning for you.

Maybe Brian and Jen start us off. Yeah, we can. For sure.

I was just trying to think back to, you know, for us, we had, we, we thought we were so similar. We thought everything was going to be super easy because we had, you know, similar backgrounds, some more college, some more faith walk, uh, both older kids, you know, older, uh, we had, we both were the eldest, and we had younger siblings. And so, we just thought this is both the same, born the same year.

It's like, this is gonna be super easy. And then I find out that she likes to celebrate her family celebrates Christmas on Christmas Eve, where they open up all the presents, and they had certain meals that they did that weren't exactly like mine. And Jen loves to go to our church, where there's a little bit more emotion showed.

So, all of a sudden, like you're talking about church and talking about Christmas, like two big traditions that are a big part of what you think family is going to look like. And so that was something I know that we all of a sudden right away going, what are we going to do this Christmas? And I don't know, you know, for us, what do you think really has helped us move towards, I would say, solving some of those things. I think after having a lot of disagreements, a lot of frustration, broken expectations, we've come to this idea that as we come to those things and those big decisions that you're going to make that do affect your life.