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Assistant: Title: What Other Secrets
        Author: Mer_aki19 undefined 
        Chapter: 44/49 
        Summary: GP...Lada felt like the heavens were testing her willpower by dropping Earn dressed in a Teal colored floral gown that seemed to do more than just heighten her beauty. Lada had been coming home late more often than she’d like and barely had any time to glance at her beautiful wife, at least not for as long as she’d wanted. She was always stopping herself from being selfish by waking Earn up when she got in at night. Last night in particular, she’d gotten in a little over 4 am and had to be out by 5 am for a meeting then her rounds in the wards. She’d walked into their shared room as quietly as possible and stopped when her eyes caught Earn’s sleeping form in bed, she was in a matching red pair of pajamas and she laid sprawled on the bed in a way that made Lada’s breath hitch as she struggled to exhale. She physically fought herself from climbing in bed with her and fulfilling so many different fantasies that she had buried. As she got new clothes from their shared wardrobe, the scent of Earn buried itself in her. She missed Earn’s warmth and wanted so desperately to bury herself in her wife’s cuddle and rest, but she knew she couldn’t, at least not yet.
        Contents: Chapter 44: Why aren't you?
    

    


      
        
          I'm sorry it took me so long, I've been sooooo busy, and I wanted to try and write a good one. I wanted to drop this today -on Christmas, as a Lil gift. And I almost thought I wouldn't make it. And that you guys had forgotten about the book entirely, but then a comment I got yesterday motivated me more than ever. Thank youuMerry Christmas...
            
            (See the end of the chapter for  more notes.)
            
      
  

  
  
    
    Lada sat quietly on their room's balcony, her gaze locked somewhere far away. Her finger stayed between her teeth as she bit down, mindlessly lost in thought.She sighed and looked at her phone beside her.'8:45pm'She looked away, rising to her feet and gripping the rail of the balcony with both hands.'This can't keep happening' the thoughts lined up in her head'Did I do something?''Why is she shutting me out?''Doesn't she love me anymore?''Doesn't she want to be a mother? Did I rush her into having a baby?'"It can't be that, this wasn't planned." The doctor muttered the words..."But it could be... does she blame me?"She sighed again, turning around and leaning her back on the balcony instead, crossing her arms.'Did something happen while I was in a coma?''This wasn't the welcome back I'd expected... especially not from my wife''What if she wants a divo-'Her thoughts were interrupted by the headlights that she saw approaching. 'She's back. Finally.'She made quick and wide steps through the house to get to the door as fast as possible. She made it to the bottom of the stairs to see them walking in.Lada didn't want to admit how irritated she felt at the sight before her. Her hands balled into fists...'why am I letting this happen?'Lada felt like she'd had enough. Since she'd gotten her memories back a week ago, the first hug and tears Earn shed, were the only comfort or interaction she'd gotten from her wife.~As soon as Earn was sure It wasn't a dream, they'd gone to the hospital for another scan. She and Lada sat in the doctor's office while they waited for results. That was when Lada noticed how quiet her wife was being.She'd reached out and held the blonde's hand, trying to show she was there, she'd said"Baby? Do you need anything? Are you hungry?"Earn stayed silent, just shaking her head in negative and subtly detaching their hands, unable to look the doctor in the eye.Lada had wanted to speak, ask if anything was wrong, but the doctor came in with the results and slight instructions. By the time the doctor left, she was about to speak when the office door flew open again, Neung came in, took one look at Lada..."Is it true?" She whispered, dropped the bag in her hand to the floor and drew her in for a hug."I'm so glad you're okay, we all thought we'd lost you... i saw the doctor outside, he told me you had your memories back" Neung whispered into the hug"It's true. Thank you Neung..." Lada held on, finding comfort in what seemed like the hug of an older sister. Her mind still traveled to how quiet Earn was, and when they broke apart, she turned to her. Neung spoke up"Ah N'Earn, I got you lunch. I remembered that your cravings are worse from 12am to 12pm, so I got shrimp"She picked the previously discarded bag and passed it to Earn."She doesn't like shrimp-" Lada was speaking."Thank you Neung."Earn had already reached for the bag. Lada noticed the slight shine her eyes seemed to have at the sight of the food."I thought you said you weren't hungry teerak?"Earn looked like she was about to say something, but once again Neung spoke up with laughter in her words."Oh, she always says that. But give her food and she won't turn it down. She's been eating more shrimp than ever too."Lada looked between the two of them, nodding slowly... having to learn these facts about her wife and their pregnancy from Neung already left a bitter taste in her mouth... 'I'll make up for it...'"What did the doctor say?"Neung's question brought her back to reality. She tried to ignore the way Earn was already tearing at the seal stealing a few shrimps, a testament to how hungry she actually was."He said my brain scan looks normal, and my body aswell. I should exercise to build my stamina back up and all that. But I can go back to my daily life fairly easy.""Sam is going to be over the moon, Tan and Bow too. They're still in London, but they flew back once they heard about the accident. They stayed a while but had to go back. Sam is in her company but I sent her a text saying your memories were back. I don't know when she'd get her-"Her words were cut off by the door being thrown open aggressively, Tawan stood there, breathing like she'd been on a marathon, sweat on her forehead. Her eyes locked with her sisters, and tears gathered at the brim. She looked down"I also texted Wan" Neung muttered and Lada nodded."You're supposed to be smiling Wan, not in tears" Lada teased light heartedly, looking at her sister with soft eyes"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."Three pairs of eyes locked on Wan's form at the door, and Lada's face held the most surprise. She looked between Neung and Earn, both parties looked sad aswell...Wan felt her older twin's arms wrap around her, and didn't have the time to understand when she'd closed the distance between them. She let out a sob and held on tight to Lada’s form... "I'm so sorry... I should have done better, worked harder... I should have never let hi-""Shhhh... you did good..." Lada's words flowed easily from her lips, a testament to no malice or annoyance in her words. "I'm not mad, and the first thing I wanted you to say when you saw me as me again, definitely wasn't an apology... I was hoping for more of an-""I missed you" Wan finished it, tightening her grip around her.~Lada swallowed hard, urging herself to believe that she wasn't jealous in anyway... she watched from the bottom of the steps, with her nails digging into her palms as Neung helped Earn into the house, locked in what seemed like a private conversation... she felt like an outsider in her own marriage.They hadn't noticed the doctor standing and watching at all, still laughing and talking while Neung guided Earn to the couch...This was the third time this week that Earn had insisted that Neung be the one to take her to any pregnancy related appointments... insisting that Lada needed to rest... she felt pushed aside completely and Earn seemed to avoid her or any conversation with her like the plague. Keeping her answers short and clipped...'Does she not love me anymore? Did something happen between her and Neung?'She cleared her throat loudly, making their heads turn. Her eyes caught Earn's and she tried to ignore the sting in her chest when the woman averted her gaze quickly, looking back at Neung.Lada walked closer to them. "I'll take over Neung, thank you. And don't worry, I'll be taking her to her appointments from now on."She tried to remove the hostility in her voice, but she knew it was clear, she just couldn't care much for it. She held Earn's arm and created distance between she and Neung.Everyone else had been acting weird since she woke up... she could handle it from the others, but not from her wife, at least not anymore"P'mor.. it's fine, you don't hav-"The look in the doctor’s eyes were enough to cut her short. The silent anger brewing behind those coffee brown eyes shut her up. The blonde looked to Neung for some sort of help, pleading silently to say something."Lada, I don't mind com-""I wasn't asking. Neung." Lada looked at her, daring her to argue.Neung took a step back, looking between the two... starting to understand that if she over-pushed, it wouldn't end well... for either of them."Lada, it's just that she's used to me already an-"Lada closed the gap between them"She's used to you?" The question sounded rhetorical but it wasn't, she genuinely wanted to understand."No.. I just mean, I've been taking her for the past couple months and-""And that can easily change."Neung glanced to Earn, she looked confused but still pleading... the artist knew she wasn't allowed to explain to Lada yet... it was Earn's secret to share, one she'd entrusted to her... but things were escalating. If she left, she had a feeling she wouldn't be allowed back... but she needed to help Earn."Lada, C'mon... try to understand" her hand rested on Lada’s shoulder "you need to rest and she would be more comfortable wit-""With her wife." Lada glared at the hand that was placed on her shoulder. She could feel the way her anger rose at an alarming pace. "Get. Your. Hand. Off. My. Shoulder. Before. You. Lose. It."Earn looked wide eyed... Lada didn't make threats, she gave warnings... she always followed through with.Neung dropped her hand slowly and took another step back.  She opened her mouth to speak, but the doctor beat her to it."It's time for you to leave Neung. Good night."She turned and put a hand out for Earn to take. She tried not to let the hesitation she saw affect her worse than anything else could."N'Earn." She spoke, waiting for her hand to land in a hold.Earn looked at Neung one more time before looking at the doctor, finally putting her hand in. Lada just sighed, her eyes softening a bit before softly pulling her into the house.As soon as the sound of an engine disappearing with the night's bustle quieted, Earn spoke quietly"You didn't need to kick her out like that P'mor... it was rude.""So if it's about Neung, then you're willing to talk to me?" Her tone was sarcastic and held a hint of mocking in it."What do you mean?" Earn stopped and looked at Lada, waiting for an answer. Their previously entangled hands now dangling in the space between themLada bit her tongue, the last thing she wanted was their first conversation to be an argument, nor did she want to stress Earn out. Her irritation and previous anger still stayed mellow at the deep corners of her chest, knocking every once in a while to remind her, so she fought to stay careful."Forget about it, I didn't mean anything by it, let's get you in bed." She made a move towards Earn, but Earn took a step back with a frown on her face, her eyes locked on an imaginary object that seemed to fascinate her more than the doctor did."Why are you doing this N'Earn? Do... do you not want me again? Did I do something? If you're mad at me.." her voice cracked under the pressure of her emotions as she looked at Earn "then scream at me, if you want to hit me, go ahead... but this, this is torture... especially when I don't know what I'm guilty of."Earn's eyes flashed with guilt and something different... she glanced at Lada but couldn't stand the rawness that was sprawled on those features that would never not be beautiful to her. She looked away, unable to speak.Lada took another step forward. "Did something happen? Between you and Neung?"Earn looked at Lada with shock, wide eyes and jaw dropped"How could you even ask me that?"  She stepped back"Can you blame me? You've done nothing but push me away since I got my memories back... I already feel left out, like I don't know so many things that happened while I was out... and i tried, I swear, I tried not to rush you. Not to stress you... but all I know is that you're having twins." She took a pause, getting even closer"You hear that N'Earn. 'YOU’RE' having twins. Not both of us, not as a couple. You've successfully pushed me out of both 'our marriage' and 'our pregnancy'.. it's one of two things.. its either you're mad that you're pregnant, or you and Neung have something going on.""P'mor, it's nothing like that.." her voice was barely above a whisper, like she was holding back tears. Lada noticed the way she shifted her weight between her two feet, seemingly uncomfortable or tired and she sighed... they could continue this later, but Earn needed to be in bed."We'll continue this later, let's get you to bed.""But... P'mor-""You need to rest, let's not argue about that at least." Her voice was clipped. She held Earn's arm with a softness that betrayed her inner frustrations and guarded them to the bedroom downstairs.They'd shared it stiffly for a week now, each night more stained and distant than the last. The doctor took Earn’s shoes off, and dropped a gown beside her before exiting the room quietly.Earn watched her retreating figure and sighed, she was happy when she didn't hear the front door shut. Which meant the doctor didn't leave. She changed her clothes slowly... 'ofcourse she thinks something is wrong... but'Her thoughts trailed off into a silence that was eerie and pained... she just didn't know how to tell Lada that she was scared, scared that she'd hate her eventually, scared that she didn't deserve her anymore,  she was in a coma because of her stubbornness and immaturity... she'd almost died and it was her fault. Her guilt was drowning her every day she opened her eyes... she didn't know how to apologize. A voice kept telling her to expect the divorce papers, telling her to give her wife space... to not expect to be forgiven... she knew she was distancing herself, but she couldn't stop the fear, the growing self detest.She sniffled, looking at the spot the doctor usually occupied on the bed... on the first night, she'd suggested the doctor staying in their room instead of down with her, but the doctor had refused, insisting on staying beside her. Lada tried to cuddle but Earn made up an excuse to keep space between them.Her drives with Neung to the hospital were filled with her rants and a constant out pour of tears, how she didn't think she had any right to stay with the doctor. Neung tried to convince her that Lada would never think that, but... that voice... the one that echoed in her mind 24/7... replayed the images of that day like a movie, of the conversations they had before then... of everything... of the warning and reluctance Lada had, of that man... the nightmares had calmed with Lada beside her, but not stopped, just more subtle, bearable.She laid on her side slowly, her eyes stuck on the wall... 'I'll talk to her, I promised, no more secrets... that means this as well... but it's so hard.''You'll only help her decide to leave you sooner than later...' that voice echoed again'She won't leave...''Why would she stay with you, you almost got her killed, and have you seen how you look?' The voice mocked herEarn sniffled again 'she deserves to know, not knowing would only hurt her more... she's already hurting.'~Lada sat dizzied on her couch, her gaze on the previously full, now closer to empty, bottle of whisky that sat on the table. She hoped the alcohol would quiet the accusing voices that told her she did something wrong.She stood and walked with no bearing towards her bedroom, her body swaying and her vision blurred.She wasn't drunk beyond measure. She'd wanted to leave, but she couldn't leave Earn home alone, especially when she was pregnant. So she stayed, eventually succ@mbing to the temptation buried underneath the bottle.She closed the door and stripped down slowly, her eyes loosely checking and making sure that Earn was in bed. She was left in her shorts and she slipped under the covers, stretching, her body felt tensed and rigid, her eyes closed and she sighed again, trying to melt into the bed.She heard the sniffles. 'She's awake? It's been hours... or is it my imagination again?'She didn't have to wonder much."P'mor, did you drink?"Silence..."P'mor...""Just a little N'Earn, go to bed.""You reek of alcohol... why don't you shower? It affects you in the morning when you don't.""I'll be fine.""P'mor... could you clean up with a towel at least? It'll help.""Fine." Lada stood up and trudged into the bathroom, got a damp towel and leaned against the table tiredly, running the towel over her body, slowly  due to the exhaustion weighing down on her bones.Earn watched her, mouth dry as the sweat mixed with the damp towel and glistened on her abs and muscles. She looked away, trying her best not to let her face show the thoughts that started to play in her minds."You don't want to talk to me, or want me close to you, but you're looking at me like you I'm the single glass of water in a dessert." She chuckled darkly at Earn’s embarrassed reaction"It's nothing like tha-"Lada dropped the towel beside her carelessly, the alcohol surging in her blood controlled her steps."P'mor... wh...what are you doing?" Earn sat up, her heart already picking up a new rhythm from the look in Lada’s eyes as she approached the bed"Hmm?" The sarcasm dripped from her low hum.Lada sat down close to Earn, the only thing in the way of getting even closer to her was her protruded belly."P'mor.." a mere whisper escaped her lips while she held her breath, Lada was close... so close to her, their breaths mingled in the pretense of space they had left between them.Earn's lower lip quivered in arousal and expectation for that kiss... one she hadn't shared with her wife in months... Lada moved even closer, her lips brushing against Earn's in a teasing friction, her alcohol filled breath with promise of a taste drawing Earn in even closer..."Do you want this?" Lada asked lightly, letting her lips stall over some words. Earn nodded dumbly, earning another dark chuckle from Lada.Lada moved back quickly. Creating distance that left Earn speechless "you probably don't want this. I'm sorry" she made a move to stand up, but Earn's grip on her arm caught her in place."I want this" the words barely crossed her lips before their lips caught each other's in a heated exchange of pure physical attraction and need.Lada growled into the kiss, letting her lips stall before biting down on Earn’s lower lip, drawing a gasp from her lips before sneaking her tongue in gently, gaining another gasp, the kiss increased by the second, going deeper.Earn tightened her grip on Lada when she felt her wandering hands dance between her thighs... her breathing was labored and excited.Lada trailed kisses down her neck, slipping the spaghetti strap sleeves down and away, letting the silk night dress fall gently, revealing her perky br@@sts that seemed swollen. Lada placed kisses on them, teasing her and smiling when Earn held on tighter to her.Her mouth enveloped the hard nubs that called to her, the whimper moans that Earn released made her hungrier, the alcohol clouding her judgements. She moved Earn to lie flat, taking her time in every action. Earn's breathing grew even more labored, hitching between each deep breath.Lada sucked on her chest and neck, leaving hickeys and marks along the way, the way her back arched off the bed the best she could in her state, turned Lada on more than she thought it would."P'mor... i..."Lada's lips traveled to uncharted waters and it made her words stall when she felt the doctors hot breath so close to her core.Lada licked her lips hungrily, anticipation of the taste that was about to greet her making her even more excited. She moved closer, but Earn's hands on her head stopped her."P'mor... wait... it.." Lada looked up, staring at her with confused eyes.."Is something wrong baby?"'Baby' that word from her lips were enough to make Earn's arousal slowly drip away from their previous solitary cove."Uhm... its... I don't ...""You don't want this?" Lada asked again? Her voice husky from want."I do.. I really do" she rushed out... "but... it's... dirty... you may not like it..." Earn's face was red with embarrassment, since the pregnancies steady progression, it'd been harder and harder to clean properly... and she was more than shy now. She shut her eyes tightly, waiting for the disgust she'd hear from the doctor’s lips, but what she heard next...Was her own voice, loud and cracked, almost foreign from the jolt of electricity that shot up her spine when the doctor's lips connected with her cl@t. Her breathing was ragged and still heavy, she tried to cling on to something while Lada's tongue worked magic in her."O... oh... ooo..." no other words could come out, she felt illiterate under the pleasure she was recieving...Lada moaned at the taste that she'd lacked for months, her hand catching one of Earn's to help her stay grounded. Earn held on tight with one hand, the other hand went behind her head to clutch onto the pillow, her hips rolled from habit as Lada ate like a starved tiger. Her legs spasmed uncontrollably with every flick of her cl@t from Lada's tongue.She felt Lada's hand stretching her out gently while her tongue stayed present on her cl@t..."Baby... ahhh, yes... yes..." She didn't know what she was saying but it was helping her remain present while her eyes rolled back into her head. Her Legs moved to close around Lada's head from the overdose of sensations she was feeling. Lada’s hand caught it, releasing her previous hold and spreading it wide while her other hand stayed busy."F@ck me babe... you're f@ck@ng tight..." Lada moaned against her cl@t, causing a vibration that sent signals to the goosebumps that sprawled around her skin."Im..I'm... I'm c@mm@ng..." Earn's words mixed with her breaths as she reached release, her body going limp against the bed and her legs shaking without rhythm.Lada stood on her knees, smiling happily between her legs. Earn already felt like she was drifting into sleep, but Lada's lips near her ear woke her up"You are in no way dirty my love... you are beautiful, sexy and tasty..." her voice was a murmurEarn barely registered what she was saying before she felt Lada's c@ck at her core, slowly pushing in. She tensed"Relax teerak, you're already so tight, I can barely fit in"Earn tried to obey, relaxing slowly. Lada pushed in slowly, stretching her core out."Baby... you're big..." Earn whimpered out, the feeling of Lada entering her inner cove sent a mixed pill of pain and pleasure through her. She held on to Lada’s shoulders tightly. The doctor placed soft kisses along her neck, murmuring sweet words to dull the pain.She pushed until she was fully in, sighing at the warmth and familiar clenching sensation she had missed.Earn bit down on her lip, her eyes once again rolled back while she tried to exist with this amount of pleasure flooding her. She moaned when Lada moved at first, going softly, her pace eventually increasing but not changing.Lada looked into her eyes with each thrust, murmuring 'I love you's ' while she moved.Her @rg@sm was building and starting to announce its presence in the back of her mind. She held on, Lada’s lips met hers in a kiss, but her mind was too clouded and stimulated to return the kiss with the same precision. The kiss was sloppy and tight while her moans slipped out in between.But the doctor didn't seem to mind, increasing her pace just a little, basking in the feeling of Earn's moaning increasing in volume and strength.The doctor could feel the way her wife clenched tightly around her, making her mind slow with the way she felt in that moment"Baby.. my heart, I'm C@mm@ng again, I... I can’t... hold-""Don't hold it in." Lada said it simply and increased her pace again, leading them both to that high cliff together until they couldn't hold on any more. Earn reached her mark first, breathing and writhing under the intensity of it.Lada felt herself about to c@m 'she may resent you for getting her pregnant...' the words echoed from a far off place in her mind and it was enough to make her pull out.Her cum landing on the actress’s thighs and their sheets before she fell to the bed in exhaustion.Her eyes already closing. But Earn's eyes were open... 'she's never pulled out before...' and confused
  
  

    
      
        
        
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