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Assistant: Title: I Didn't Mean to Say I Do, but I Do. I Do.
        Author: schrijverr schrijverr 
        Chapter: 20/50 
        Summary: Years before joining the 118, Buck’s travels take him to El Paso, where he meets Christopher. When Eddie comes back from Afghanistan and Shannon leaves, Buck ends up staying. As bills pile up, the best move is for them to get married, just for convenience, they’ll divorce when Eddie comes back from his re-enlistment.Then Eddie gets injured and it’s just easier to stay married for a little longer, while Buck gets started at the 118. However, Buck doesn’t mention his ‘husband’ and kid, not feeling like they’re his to keep. When Eddie gets the offer from Bobby, they decide to lie and pretend they don’t know each other, so they can work together.The whole lie gets out of hand as feelings start to become real, until it all comes to a head in the aftermath of the fire engine explosion. AKA: Secret marriage of convenience buddie slow burn AU, where Buck and Eddie have been married for years so Buck could adopt Chris and no one at the 118 knows.
        Contents: Chapter 20: High on Life (And Substances)
    

    

        
          
          
            Hen deals with Eva and Nathaniel, before the 118 gets drugged. Chimney kicks himself for not noticing, but how was he supposed to guess Buck and Eddie crying together wasn’t normal?
          
        

      
        
          Warnings: internalized h@m@phobia, referenced addiction, non-consensual drug use
            
            (See the end of the chapter for  more notes.)
            
      
  

  
  
    
    
  
    
      
        
          Hen is glad Buck and Eddie are getting along. When Eddie first arrived and Buck puffed up like an offended peacock she had expected the worst testosterone filled tomfoolery until ultimately they would have to let Eddie go, which would 
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          have 
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          be
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          en
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
           a shame, since he seem
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          ed
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
           like an alright guy.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          In a way, she hadn’t expected it from Buck, who despite being the epitome of a frat guy, actually has a heart of gold and so much kindness in him. But she guesses his toes felt stepped on and, 
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          in the end, 
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          it didn’t take much more than one close call for them to work it out.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          They work it out so well and quick that Hen nearly gets whiplash, but it’s great for the team as a whole.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Buck needed someone to watch his back and keep him in check and Eddie seems to fit into that role perfectly. With Eddie there, Hen is worrying less about Buck, who is like an annoying little brother to her. She usually can’t watch out for him in the field, since her partner is Chimney and she’s often manning the ambulance instead of the rig. So having Eddie gives her peace of mind.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          She also thinks Buck is good for Eddie. He seems uptight. Hen doesn’t mean that in a bad way, but he’s too rigid and very closed off, that can’t be healthy for someone.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          None of them had managed to get under his skin or get him to give anything away, but Buck had warmed Eddie enough for him to offer his Abuela’s home to Maddie and to mention he has a son, a detail he had never even hinted at despite working there for 
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          two months
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
           already.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Hen remembers Eddie’s defeated frame in the parking lot, looking at his blocked car, the relief that coursed through him when Buck offered to drive him to Chris’s school. She also remembers the hug Buck got alongside Bobby after they let Chris crash here until Maddie could pick him up.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Buck has been getting Eddie out of his shell and that’s good. He needs to be coaxed out and he needs people to help him, even if he is as stubborn as his partner. They’re honestly made for each other.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          During the Abuela breaking her hip debacle, the two got even closer. They had already known they lived near each other after the earthquake, but now they’re carpooling to work each day and Hen has heard Buck discuss the move with Eddie, having recruited him alongside Chim.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          From what she hears, Eddie and Buck are also hanging out outside of work like she does with Athena and Chimney. Buck is pulling Eddie into the fold as Maddie naturally gets pulled closer by her texting with Chim and now her drive along with Athena. 
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          It really feels like they’re going somewhere. Like the bonds between them are growing and their lives are becoming more intertwined.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          When out on a picnic with Karen and Micheal along with Denny and Harry, it sounds like Micheal is struggling slightly with Bobby taking up more space. Of course her amazing beautiful wife has words of wisdom for him: “Well, listen, you don’t need to worry. ‘Cause you are those babies’ father, and they know it. And anything they get from him is just extra.”
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Hen couldn’t have said it better.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Everyone in the 118 has their own family, she has Karen and Denny, Bobby has Athena and her kids, Chimney has the Lees, Buck has Maddie, and Eddie has Chris 
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          and Pepa
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          . But having each other makes it better. It gives them that extra cushioning to fall back on. It’s nice.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          And it might be very necessary to have a bigger support system, because Eva is back in their lives again and this time she brought Denny’s father. It’s just like her. To appear like that and cause nothing but trouble and stress. Hen hates what she does to her family, despite the fact that she can never wish her gone, because she gave her Denny. She gave them their son.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          But her presence drags up everything again. Everything that Hen only just managed to make right, that she just managed to fix. 
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          She got her family back, she can’t lose that again. She can’t only have the bit extra, she needs the whole. Holding Denny in her arms and promising him that mama’s gonna fix everything only solidifies that for her.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Stalking Eva might not be the best way to do so, but she is desperate and angry. Mostly angry. How dare Eva. How dare she. How dare she come back into her life and hurt her, hurt 
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          Karen
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          . How dare she drag Denny into her own pathetic petty b@llsh@t?
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Watching her nearly die, nearly walking away from her, but turning back, because saving awful people is what she does, is healing in a way. Just because she knew Eva, doesn’t mean she needs to keep trying to save her. She doesn’t have to do her job off the clock, doesn’t have to drag it into her personal life. There’s a reason she takes off that uniform each day before coming home.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          However, just because Eva is going back to prison doesn’t mean Nathaniel will disappear.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Athena has put some of her worries to rest, but she’s still stressed out when she comes in to work after everything that has gone down. Chimney naturally sees right through her and asks her what’s up, the whole story spilling out.
        
      
    
  

  
    “That’s awful, Hen,” Chimney tells her voice filled with sympathy.
  

  
    “Yeah, custody sh@t is the worst,” Buck agrees, surprising Hen until she remembers when this first came up and Buck apparently went on a research spiral about it. No wonder he has opinions and it’s not like she disagrees, custody sh@t is definitely the worst.
  

  
    
      
        
          Next to Buck Eddie is nodding along. He doesn’t seem surprised that Buck knows anything about it, she wonders if he rambled about it to Eddie – the man has proven to be incredibly patient about Buck’s rambles – or if it came up due to something Eddie said. He never talks about his situation with Chris, though they have inferred some details.
        
      
    
  

  
    “Are you ever worried about anything like that with Chris?” she finds herself asking anyway, wanting to connect with someone who understands, who might be able to give some advice.
  

  
    “Oh, uh,” Eddie’s eyes grow wide as he stumbles and Hen feels a little bad for asking, 
  
  
    
      
        
          since 
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          he obviously isn’t a sharer. He doesn’t meet anyone’s eyes, looking at the ground as he says: “Shannon – my ex-wife – divorced me when I was in Afghanistan. We had shared custody until a little after I got back, then she signed it over to me. So it’s uh- it’s different.”
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Eddie looks obviously uncomfortable and Hen regrets bringing it up. She’s about to wave it off, but Buck beats her to it. “Have you talked to the guy yet? I mean, Athena said he was a good dude, right? And just because Eva’s an awful person, doesn’t mean he is.”
        
      
    
  

  
    “I suppose we can try,” she sighs, letting Buck bring the conversation back to her own problems as she watches Eddie relax from the corner of her eye.
  

  
    
      
        
          In the end she does try. Her and Karen talk with Nathaniel and he’s a good guy, who just wants what is best for his son and willing to follow their lead on it. To keep his distance for Denny’s sake. It feels like a tension is released, a wound that is healing. The stitches have been taken out and it can now continue mending on its own.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          She is not the only one who is healing. She hasn’t gotten a lot of alone time with Maddie yet, but she’s been hearing nothing but good from her two most trustworthy sources; Athena and Chim. And of course Buckaroo is an endorsement of his own.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Today she is moving out. Hen is more than happy to let the others help her move, choosing instead to spend some time at home catching up with chores while Denny is at school and Karen is at work. It always feel good to do her part, since slack can creep in when you don’t work regular hours.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Chimney, however, is very much helping. Maddie is incredibly beautiful and kind and funny and totally worth dealing with overprotective Buck for.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          After what happened with Doug he totally gets that she isn’t itching to jump into a relationship with anyone, so he’s playing it cool. Besides, she’s awesome, he’d like to have a friend like her, regardless of whether she wants to date him. 
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Still, he can’t help but happily volunteer himself for setting up and explaining the security system to her, so he can be close with her, while Buck and Eddie are moving and doing their own Buck and Eddie thing.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          He usually doesn’t mind the Buck and Eddie show. It can be kind of entertaining to watch them in the loft or during slow pace calls. They’re very in sync – much like he and Hen, though it took them a little longer to fall into that kind of pattern – and their back and forth can be hilarious. 
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Chimney is glad Buck found a match for work, he always seemed a bit like a lost puppy before, like he was missing something. Being complete looks good on him.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Though it might not be only Eddie, but Maddie too, who makes him look like that. And Maddie is definitely more interesting than her brother and his bestie (Eddie would hate it if he knew Chimney referred to him like that, which only amuses him more).
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          By the time, they’ve eaten their pizza and said their goodbyes, Chimney has secured himself a hang out with Maddie to show her some of the local bars and food places. 
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          When they rescue a helicopter, he has no idea it will lead to seeing her sooner while he is tripsitting her baby brother, but life works in mysterious ways like that. He likes to see it as a sign of the universe, that it is pushing them together. 
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          But rewinding again, it starts with the helicopter, which leads to Taylor Kelly showing up to their firehouse with a film crew.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Chim is cleaning one of the trucks. They’re doing a deep clean of everything, the B shift staying later, while they came in earlier, so everyone is helping. 
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          He hears some commotion behind him with Cap talking, he doesn’t sound too happy, so Chimney isn’t going to mix in whatever is happening. Buck, however, has no such inhibitions and comes up to what appears to be a film crew with Taylor Kelly when Chim chances a glance.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          As he works, he keeps an ear out, watching out for the baby of the firehouse – no, he and Hen don’t care that Eddie has been here shorter and is the same age – as he talks with Taylor. With him, Chimney never knows if he is flirting or if he is genuinely interested in her job. Both have definitely happened on calls before and there have been misunderstandings. Messy ones.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Just as he is deciding Buck might be flirting and he should step in, Eddie does it for him. He gets up from the gym and starts asking Taylor about how she is recovering. The interruption is a little abrupt and almost jealous. Chimney finds himself turning away from his job to watch this episode of the Buck and Eddie show.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Though he must admit he gets pulled in when Taylor starts pitching her plan to them. Chimney is not above admitting he likes the attention his job gives him. Sure, right now he cares the most about saving people, making a difference in their lives, but he can’t deny that he started working in the field because of the hero worship you can get.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Looking around, he sees Buck is kind of excited about the prospect, while Hen is apprehensive, Cap is a definite no, and he can’t get a read on Eddie. 
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Eddie is a private person from what he has seen. If he had to guess, he’d say Eddie wouldn’t want anything to do with this. However, Chimney can’t forget that Eddie walked up to Taylor, interrupting a conversation he wasn’t a part of while he would 
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          have
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
           otherwise stay
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          ed
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
           in the background, so maybe Chimney is wrong.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          But Eddie does look slightly anxious about the whole thing, trying to catch Buck’s eye probably for some of the mind reader b@llsh@t they do sometimes. Buck is too distracted to notice and Chim almost wants to rotate his eyes towards Eddie so he can know what’s going on in Eddie’s brain, but that might not be the best thing to do with a camera pointed at them, so he restrains himself.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          With the all clear from the Chief, Bobby resigns himself to her presence and everyone does their little interviews. 
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          More in line with Chim’s expectations, Eddie disappears a bit to the background saying something about the military when asked and very pointedly never mentioning Chris, while Buck sticks with Chimney to be in the camera, happily showing them around. Bobby avoids the camera like the plague, while Hen doesn’t shy away, but doesn’t seek it out. Chimney knows that despite the fact that she isn’t the biggest fan, she will never pass up an opportunity to show that people like her can be in this line of work.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Over the two days that 
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          Taylor Kelly
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
           follows them, they primarily have medical calls. So the only person upset they don’t get to shine is Buck, though Chimney isn’t sure that call with the bug eating contest would be called shining for him.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Of course, Chimney doesn’t know that it also works out with the frantic deal made in the Buckley-Diaz household after that first shift where they’d been surprised by it; they aren’t going to mention Chris and kind of stay out of each other’s way in the firehouse, except on call
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          s
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          . It’s not like they were going to act like Eddie’s first day, but maybe not as close. Best not to invite questions.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Since Buck is mostly sticking with Chimney and the camera crews, the others haven’t picked up on the fact that it is each other they’re avoiding.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Naturally it can’t go right forever. Chimney supposes they should be lucky it wasn’t a worse call, that everything ended well in the end, that he didn’t have to deal with a camera crew on top of it all as well.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          The f@ck@d up part is that Chimney – a licensed professional – doesn’t even notice. Sure, Buck and Eddie are halfway on top of each other and Buck apparently checks the pollen index even though only Eddie has a 
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          hay fever
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          , but that’s practically normal. 
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          No, instead it’s Athena, who notices first and figures out it’s probably everyone as she takes those with him on the call into custody so they can’t hurt anyone. And she also leaves Chimney with three of his high colleagues, while she goes 
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          to
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
           save Bobby – which of course she should, but it’s not the 
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
          ideal for Chimney right now.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Hen is the easiest, not only is her high a peaceful one, but he also has Karen’s number and can easily get her picked up. 
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Eddie on the other hand is still on the brink of crying and Chimney is sure that the only thing that is stopping him from falling off that ledge is Buck, who is seemingly making up stories about Christopher and chickens. Chimney isn’t going to ask questions, happy to let Buck ride out his gentle high while doing part of Chimney’s job for him, because he has no one to call for Eddie and now has to call Maddie about her baby brother being drugged. Joy.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Naturally, Maddie is quite stressed out, though quickly on her way to pick up Buck, as well as providing him with the number of Eddie’s tía Pepa.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Maddie arrives first and together they struggle to separate Buck and Eddie. If it weren’t kind of terrifying that someone had drugged their family and it could have gone incredibly wrong, it would almost be funny how petulant and sad both are about it.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          With everyone picked up and the scene taken over, Chimney heads back to the station. As the only one not currently high out of their mind, he’s the man left behind until they can get a full and sober crew in the firehouse that hasn’t just come off a long shift.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Karen sends him some videos of Hen staring lovingly to a point behind the camera (Karen) rambling even more about love to fill the time. It makes Chimney a little sad they’re already married, because that would have been great best man speech material.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Chimney doesn’t hear from Pepa and can only hope Eddie’s high is going slightly better. He sends Athena a short text to ask about Bobby, but only gets a curt response. Understandable, since Bobby just got tricked into breaking his sobriety and nearly killing himself. 
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          The whole stunt could have ended so much worse. To soothe his worries he also texts back and forth with Maddie, but she isn’t at her phone a lot, since Buck’s gentle high has turned into an emotional one. 
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Despite not taking any calls, he is drained when he finally gets to leave. He feels like he repeated the story a million times already, to relatives, to the police and now the to the B shift that came to take over for him.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Buck has according to Maddie moved from crying it out to sleeping it off and Chimney tells her that despite usually knowing better, he’s going to follow her brother’s example, which gets him some laughing emojis back.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          After a good amount of sleep for all of them and a drug test for most of them, they’re all back for a shift. 
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          Bobby has come in early and hidden away, a clear message that he does not want to discuss it. But Hen is right there to be made fun off, which she takes like a champ. She sniffs: “I’m not embarrassed about being filled with love, Chim.”
        
      
    
  

  
    “According to Karen love is not the only thing you wanted to be filled with,” Chimney says gleefully.
  

  
    “Oh shut up!”
  

  
    “What are we talking about?” Buck asks as he and Eddie come walking up, both looking better than the last time Chimney saw them. Which isn’t that hard admittedly, since both were crying said last time.
  

  
    “Nothing.” “About Hen’s h@rny love ramblings.” They answer at the same time.
  

  
    
      
        
          Hen gives him an ‘are you serious’-look, before turning to Eddie and Buck and saying: “Did both of you get everything out of you system alright?”
        
      
    
  

  
    “Yeah, did either of you stop crying soon?” Chimney asks.
  

  
    “Crying?” Hen repeats, looking between Chimney and Buck and Eddie to get answers, but both look flushed and horribly embarrassed and neither of them are answering.
  

  
    
      
        
          Chimney doesn’t mind filling Hen in, however. “Yeah, when Maddie came to pick Buck up it was a whole thing to get them separated. Eddie still hadn’t calmed down completely by the time Pepa came to get him and according to Maddie, Buck cried later too.”
        
      
    
  

  
    “Shut up,” Buck pouts, his blush not at all hidden by his complexion.
  

  
    “Ahw but it’s so fun, Buckaroo.”
  

  
    “I can literally text Maddie and ruin any chance at being her friend or more, do not test me, Howard.”
  

  
    “Oef touchy, touchy,” Chimney says, but he does drop it, instead turning to Eddie. “So, what about it, Eddie?”
  

  
    “Uh, no, I mostly slept it off,” Eddie lies. He swore tía Pepa to secrecy, something she might not keep, but at most Buck will find out that he cried about not being able to go home to be with his family and that will only be mildly embarrassing. He can spin that to be about Chris, not both of them. He doesn’t know why that is important to him, but it is.
  

  
    “Really? Nothing big happened?” Chimney asks, a little disappointed.
  

  
    “I mean, Chris was a little confused about why there was no one to tuck him in while we got send home early, but Carla was able to work late and explained it to him,” Eddie shrugs. 
  

  
    “Ugh, lucky,” Buck groans, throwing himself on the couch. “I embarrassed myself so much. After all my effort
  
  
    
      
        
          s
        
      
    
  
  
    
      
        
           to do dumb sh@t like this when Maddie couldn’t see, this had to happen to me. I’m never going to eat anything I didn’t see prepared.”
        
      
    
  

  
    “I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” Eddie tries to comfort him. Buck hasn’t told him anything about what happened yet, which to be fair, he didn’t either, but Buck is more of an open book.
  

  
    “You weren’t there,” Buck grouches, crossing his arms. “I had to wrestle for control to get those videos deleted.”
  

  
    
      
        
          Buck had, much to his humiliation, spend the evening crying about missing his husband, only barely managing to not cry about his kid as well. Probably because he was actually with Eddie when he got separated.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          When he sobered up, Maddie had a whole lecture ready for him about work place conduct and how inappropriate it was to refer to people like that in a professional setting and how she got that this was his first steady, grown up person job, but that he really couldn’t do that.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          While it was nice to get the conformation that she hadn’t caught on and thus hadn’t been homophobic that first time, because she was super cool about him saying he’s bi, he could have done without that.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          He also could have done without her gently discouraging his crush on Eddie – likely because she thinks he’s happily married or whatever, since this is his life now – because that had been kid of soul crushing in a different way. A part of him had wanted to explain it to her then, but he’d been hung over and the thought of having to deal with that while having a pounding headache, didn’t sound too appealing.
        
      
    
  

  
    “This sounds juicy,” Chimney says. “You sure she might not tell me? I mean, maybe a movie or something could warm her up to me.”
  

  
    “You are not allowed to get close to my sister to get black mail material on me.”
  

  
    “Tsk, like that would be my only motivation.”
  

  
    “Ugh, don’t be gross, dude.”
  

  
    “No! I meant as in she is a nice person and needs friends. Don’t you want your sister to have a social life, Buck?”
  

  
    “Okay, okay, gentlemen, let’s tone it down,” Hen interrupts them, before the bickering can go further.
  

  
    “I agree with Hen,” Bobby says, materializing next to her. “The Chief has now officially banned accepting baked goods from strangers, however, I am not a stranger, so you all are in luck, because we baked brownies to share this weekend.”
  

  
    “F@ck yeah, brownies!” Buck cheers, before the rest registers and he pouts: “I’m gonna miss the carbs.” 
  
  
    
      
        
          Apparently he has already forgotten about his vow from earlier to never eat food he didn’t see prepared. 
        
      
    
  

  
    “Come on, you big dummy,” Eddie rolls his eyes, knocking their shoulders together. 
  

  
    
      
        
          The action seems to cheer Buck up, because he smiles and gets up, bouncing over to the kitchen ahead of them and scooping up a big portion of brownies. That in turn gets Chimney running, not wanting to miss out again (though missing out last time hadn’t been the worst in the end).
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          With Taylor not airing their drugged misfortunes, they move on from it. Buck and Bobby both take to bringing baked goods to work more often to make up for it and Chimney does actually make good on his idea to watch a movie with Maddie, though he doesn’t get any embarrassing stories about high Buck from her. Maddie doesn’t out people and is good at secrets, something Chimney doesn’t know yet.
        
      
    
  

  
    
      
        
          And so they all move towards Halloween.
        
      
    
  

  
  

    
      
        
        
          This is only slightly related, but oh my god, I am so gay for Karen, we need more Karen content, bc I am such a homo for her and I want her on my screen <3Hope this doesn’t read too much like a filler chapter for the sake of getting through these episodes (even though it kinda is) bc I feel weird glossing over episodes, so I’m kind of including all of them (except the ‘Blank, Begins’ episodes of season 2)'
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