Add more detail to this text: add silence and pauses where needed also add Onomatopoeia where needed to the text: "There, there’s a child.'Over there, by TAM-336, behind that landing strut, she's in danger if they lift off," McConnell gasped.
"Let's look," White said. "Oh, hell, you're right."
Pressing the communicate button on her COMS, she said
Echo, Echo I send Emergency, Code Black, and tell TAM-336 to abort take-off. I say again, tell, TAM-336 to abort take-off. A child is hiding behind her port-side landing strut.
'Message copied and understood will comply'                                        
In the Pad Command Centre, communications with TAM-336 established. "TAM-336, TAM-336 Information Abort," I say once more, "child behind port-side landing strut abort, take-off per pad emergency part 1 over."
'TAM-336, Wilco PCCC aborting take-off, please advise when pads clear'
'TAM-336, TAM-336 Rodger monitor, this channel and we will advise goodbye'
'PCCC, TAM-336 will monitor goodbye'
'PCCC to Security Chief'
'Security Chief, PCCC Go ahead'
"PCCC Security Chief Information Officer TAM-336, I repeat, TAM-336, has shut down a rescue attempt under Part 1 of the regulations."
'Wilco PCCC will attempt to advise.'
'PCCC standing by.'
'PCCC Advisory all shuttlecraft scheduled to depart shutdown till notified we have incursion on pad I send again incursion on pad, pad shutdown per part 1'
Within minutes, the busy pad at Freight Command shut down so the, young intruder could be-brought to safety.
"McConnell, are you ok?" I've never seen you shaken; pads shut down because of your quick thinking and eyes.
'The little girl, is she safe?'
'Not yet, still in the same place... My Konni 2050 Repulse Bike is over there. Go do your thing. Peace of mind and all that. Hay…!' McConnell shock off what was happening, she'd let it out back home for the here and now things to do.
The Konni 2050, going six hundred miles per hour flat out, made a satisfying electric howl on start-up. McConnell got on and went over to TAM-336.
'Is there anyone hiding back there... I think there is, a young lady I think is back there reminds me of a pair of feisty seals that came to life via the Foxton-Milton Animation Process.
Now the thing is, whoever is back there, if those seals were here, I'd send them around to get you, and it would be many feisty licks and friendly flipper bats for you.
'Sound of giggling'
McConnell climbed to the top of TAM-336 and looked down.
"Why, hello, what do we have here?" We have a young member of the Star Raptors crew, but I don't recall seeing one this young before. Identify yourself at once.'
Looking down, the young girl said, 'Zonti Campton, rank Fleet Captain'
McConnell jumped and did a half-twist in the air before landing in front of Zonti.
Getting down to her level as not frighten her.
'Hi Zonti my name is…'
Before McConnell could finish, Zonty said
'Fleet Captain, Jade McConnell, Stanner'tec Freight Lines, Ship Name: Star Raptor Call Sign CAG-224.'
'That is really impressive.' What else do you know?'
'I know you believe in the letter rather than the spirit of the regulations, so, Fleet Captain McConnell, with that in mind, you must report-me under Article 12, Title 16 Subparagraph (f) of the Spaceport Operations and Safety Act 4379."
"Zonti, may I enquire as to your age?"
"Six," Zonti said again.
'Ok answer me-this, two ships arrive on the scene of a ship in distress both the commanding officers are of equal rank, who has command authority during the rescue.'
"That's easy under title 7 of the Space Movement Act 2379: states that if two deep space vessels (as defined in Sub-Article 39(c) Third Aims and the Louis Convention on the Movement of Goods in Interstellar Space) come across a ship in need of assistance, command of the operation shall reside with the master with the most experience in SRR operations until relived by an officer of more senior rank, proving the same master having more SRRS exp."
'That’s correct, well done. Now how many conventions, regulations, standing orders, and treaties do you know?'