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Emma’s first match after regaining the Smythe title in a hard fought victory over Jackie Reeves was going to see her travel to the deep south of the United States to meet a direct challenge from another catfight organisation. The Southern Belles Catfight Association (SBCA) operated out of the state of Georgia, drawing most of its fighters from the surrounding states. Their current champion was a tough but beautiful catfighter known simply as Sara who held an impressive record of 21 wins and only 6 defeats. The challenge had been made at boardroom level; the chance to have their champion prove that she was the better woman had been deemed too great to pass up by both companies. The toss of a coin decided that the match would be hosted by the SBCA, and the rules agreed were simple – anything goes, no time limit and the fight would only be won by forcing the other fighter to admit that their opponent was ‘the better woman’.

The match would be a non-title match because of the logistics involved in having one woman defending both belts. The stakes were high though; a $50,000 winner takes all purse was put up by the two companies, while the company whose champion prevailed would get all of the proceeds from internet sales of the fight. Against that background, we learned that the Southern Belles champion Sara wanted the fight to take place on the beach. I guess that was a chance to take Emma a little way outside her comfort zone, although frankly, a catfight was still a catfight wherever it took place! There was also one other stipulation put in place for the match; neither woman would have a second for the contest, this was going to be strictly woman against woman with no outside advice being given.

We reviewed the footage of some of Sara’s recent title matches which yielded one key piece of information; the Southern Belle had a devastating breast smother which she had been using to great effect. Beyond that, she was what we had expected, a tough and confident woman who loved to maul, smother and claw her opponents in hard catfights. Sara’s review of Emma’s recent fights had doubtless told her more or less the same; Emma also excelled in hard, dirty catfights and was a tough woman. I had to admit that going into the match; I was far from sure who held the advantage. One thing that was intriguing was the beach venue for the fight; a secluded section of private beach on the Alabama coast would host the fight which would be attended by a small invited audience. A nice touch was that the area marked out for the fight also included an area of sea which seemed to throw up some interesting possibilities for the match. With the fight taking place in late February, the temperature was expected to be a comfortable 20 Celsius, so it didn’t seem like that would be a problem for either fighter.

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At first glance, the beach appeared to show an idyllic beach scene as a group of people sat around on the beach on beach blankets and beach chairs. The only give away that something else was about to happen was the 10 metre square of clear beach that the sun bathers appeared to have left completely empty; this was the area nominally set aside for the fight. The small crowd stirred with excitement as an announcer walked into the centre of that cleared area to introduce the two women. He began ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, this beach catfight is to determine which champion is the better woman, it is no holds barred, there will be no time limit, and the fight can only be won by forcing the other woman to admit verbally that you are the better woman. In addition, both women will be allowed one time-out which they may use to stop the action and get a one minute break. So, allow me to introduce our two fighters to you. First of all, please welcome to the beach, from Great Britain, she is the champion of the Smythe Catfight Association, Emma Baines.’

Emma strode confidently between the two dunes backing the beach, gave me a kiss as she passed me in the crowd, and then made her way to a polite reception into the area cleared for the fight. She looked every inch the beach babe in her pink and silver leopard print tie string bikini, but beneath that appearance, I knew there was a tough fighter.

The announcer continued ‘Emma is 31 years old, she is 5 feet 10 inches tall and weighs in at 166lbs and she has a bust size of 40E. Her record in catfights is 29 wins with 10 defeats. And now, her opponent, from the United States, she is the Southern Belles Catfight Association champion, Sara.’

Now it was Sara’s turn to enter the fight area, and she also looked confident as she received a similarly polite reaction from the crowd. Sara wore a bright orange tiger print string bikini which stood out perfectly against her lightly tanned skin. As she entered the beach, both women began to eyeball each other as the announcer finished his work off. ‘Sara is 27 years old, 5 feet 9 inches tall and weighs in at 160lbs and her bust size is 38DD. Her record in catfights is 21 wins with only 6 defeats. Ladies and Gentlemen, I will now hand you over to our referee to get this beach battle underway.’

The referee would of course be largely redundant in this match due to the lack of any real rules, her only duty was to listen out for a fighter asking for their time out or admitting that their opponent was the better woman. She called the two women together, checked that both were OK with the rules, and then sent them back to their ‘corners’ with the instruction to come out fighting when she rang the bell.