>> New Round Started.
> PlayerA sends out their wizard piece in an attempt to Skylea’s Gambit PlayerB.
> PlayerB responds by sacrificing THE BISHOP!
> PlayerA advances their wizard.
> PlayerB applies Thorns and Mana Leech to their rook.
> PlayerA activates a trap card, which gives a piece ATK when something is enchanted by the opposing player. PlayerA reveals the card and uses it on the wizard.
> PlayerB draws two cards.
> PlayerA queues crafting of an Enchantment Scrubber in the crafting terminal.
> PlayerB activates the SPS (Shield Protection System).
> PlayerA activates their Antimatter Industries Lawyer alter ego to sue PlayerB for misuse of the SPS (Supercritical Phase Shifter) trademark.
> PlayerB recites the transcript of the Antimatter Spill Incident’s resulting lawsuit, to attempt to defame PlayerA.
> Some legal guy appears out of nowhere and dismisses the court case as plain stupid.
> PlayerA picks up the Enchantment Scrubber.
> PlayerB throws a mana shield from the Shield Protection System in PlayerA’s direction.
> PlayerA scrubs the mana shield, reducing it to mana residue. PlayerA quickly consumes the residue to gain mana.
> Player1.5 joins in and sets the weather machine to 7.
> PlayerB promotes a spare pawn to a spearman with an old spear.
> PlayerA gets caught in the rain, but PlayerA uses an umbrella to save themselves from being destroyed by the weather machine’s weaponized rain.
> Player1.5 uses the classic, highly overused, forever-gamebreaking Lizard Cloning setup. This allows Player1.5 to set up a bulk sacrifice of lizards, to gain substantial power. But Player1.5 instead forms an army with them.
> PlayerB traps and tames one of Player1.5’s lizards to the B-Team side.
> PlayerA stealthily pickpockets PlayerB and finds a pack of mystery pieces.
++ Pieces Obtained
+ Conway’s Game of Life Glider
+ Glue
+ Camel
+ Dollar
++ End of list
> Player1.5 gets popcorn as PlayerB chases PlayerA down.
> PlayerB runs after PlayerA.
> PlayerA responds by getting out of the tabletop realms and hiding in the bathroom.
> Player1.5 distracts PlayerB.
> PlayerB falls for the distraction and loses a turn.
> PlayerA uses the bought time to return to the board and stick glue globs all over PlayerB’s territory. And applies a bit to Player1.5’s claim of supposed territory marked by the lizard cloner, just to slow down the lizard army’s marching out.
> Player1.5 overtakes the board with lizards.
> PlayerB promotes their lizard into a “Civil War Lizard” who converts enemy lizards to build up a Lizard Civil War.
> PlayerA capitalizes on this by buying a lizard piece from the game set’s “bank” (A bank in a Monopoly sense where pieces are stored) and following PlayerB’s strategy.
> Player1.5 “patches up” the lizard insurrection by launching a lizard political campaign.
> PlayerB plays Nonpartisan Uno’s No Politics Card to make Player1.5 lose a turn. Player1.5 responds with the “It’s not real politics, just that of ingame lizards, so it doesn’t count” move. PlayerB responds by pointing out how the pieces are living beings complying with their player’s orders, and ready to be moved around by their players, as evidenced by how players can tell the pieces to move when they are shrunk into the gameboard. Player1.5 loses a turn as a result.
> PlayerA attacks the lizard-spawning cloner belonging to Player1.5 with their newfound lizard faction.
> Player1.5 sits in the No Politics Timeout Corner.
> PlayerB competes with PlayerA to see who will take over the cloner’s ownership status.
> PlayerA uses their camel to get to the Cloner faster.
> Player1.5’s time in the timeout corner is over, and then they manage to convert back some of the resistant lizards trying to start a civil war.
> PlayerB attempts to distract PlayerA’s camel with verdant, rich grass. This however, backfires, as a bunch of Player1.5’s lizards come out of the grass to bombard PlayerB.
> PlayerA turns off the cloner.
> Player1.5 breakdances to circus music to complete a dare on an old and dated dare card, for ingame monetary units.
> PlayerB uses their RainCo Calculator.
++ Calculator Usage
+ RainCo Calculator, Hardware Version: V5. Running RainOS. 
+ Opened User-Installed Application “How long will this guy be distracted calculator”
+ Gained Context : ‘player1.5 used their turn to breakdance to circus music’
+ Calculating…
+ Possible Motivation : ‘player1.5 is completing some dated dares to gain ingame power, which will be used to better manage the lizard army’
+ Returned To Menu.
+ Shutting Down…
++ End of log
> PlayerA comments on how Player1.5 is stuck in a bygone era of trendy new phones and crazy backflips. PlayerA proceeds to somehow shrink the cloner, and then rides the camel back to their base.
> PlayerB interjects their agreement at PlayerA’s comment, despite fully knowing that Player1.5 is completing dares for ingame points/currency/power/whatever. This doesn’t count as a turn because it didn’t change their strategic position.
> Player1.5 deploys a bishop to threaten the camel.
> PlayerB uses their rook to threaten the weather machine.
> PlayerA uses a teleportation spell to misalign the bishop, making it unable to touch the camel due to the limitations of its diagonal movement.
> Player1.5 reactivates the Weather Machine to make it rain on the rook in particular.
> PlayerB uses their rook to destroy the Weather Machine anyways.
> PlayerA salvages what remains of the Weather Machine after the rook destroyed it.
> Player1.5 promotes one of their lizards, in a military fashion.
> PlayerB deploys a snake to target the Lizard Army.
> PlayerA advances their wizard further.
> Player1.5 slides the promoted lizard into PlayerA’s claim of territory. This causes a 1v1 between the Lizard and the Wizard, which the Wizard started on its own.
> PlayerB spectates the 1v1 and bets on the Wizard, and for their actual move, they order their snake to tear down the low-ranking lizards in the army of Player1.5.
> PlayerA casts a spell at the lizard to capture it.
> Player1.5, with their promoted lizard now captured, tries to promote a lizard in the military base, only for a snake to be tearing down the lizards. Player1.5 fumbled the promotion.
> PlayerB gains money for making a correct bet. Hopefully PlayerB won’t get a gambling addiction from this.
> PlayerA combines the Camel and the Wizard to make the powerful Enchanted Camel Rider.
> Player1.5 deploys a bishop piece to attack the snake.
> PlayerB promotes their snake to a hydra figurine.
++ Meanwhile in Captured Piece Jail…
+ Lizard 1: Is this the afterlife?
+ Lizard 2: You are here in this prison cell because you were captured by the snake’s raid.
+ Lizard 1: Anyways… I need to do my salute to Player1.5’s army.
+ Lizard 1 salutes to Player1.5’s army.
+ Lizard 1: May Player1.5 live in glory.
++ End of dialog.
> PlayerA gives the Enchanted Camel Rider a magic scroll of protection.
> Player1.5 aligns their bishop to threaten the hydra.
> PlayerB slightly moves the hydra to turn the tables, making the hydra be the threat and the bishop the threatened.
> PlayerA organizes their base.
> Player1.5 protects their bishop with a lizard.
> PlayerB reactivates the SPS (Shield Protection System) to strengthen the hydra’s position.
> PlayerA adds additional stress on the lizards with the Enchanted Camel Rider.
> Player1.5 advances the lizards out of the military base and towards PlayerA’s base.
> PlayerB’s hydra continues to be a threat to the lizards.
> PlayerA slides the Enchanted Camel Rider into the back ranks and starts to decimate the lizards.
> Player1.5, with only a few lizards left, looks into the Weather Machine’s manual and tries to rebuild it. They couldn’t find a Downpour Circuit, so they just used a PCB from their old, discarded, and broken phone.
> PlayerB’s hydra captures a lizard.
> PlayerA’s Enchanted Camel Rider does so too, capturing another one of Player1.5’s lizards.
> Player1.5, now down to just 2 lizards, tries to use the “Weather Machine”. It malfunctions and creates a normal rain cloud, unlike the weaponized ones the properly made Weather Machine that is now destroyed had created.
> PlayerB’s hydra destroys the critical systems in Player1.5’s base.
> Player1.5 has lost.
> PlayerA 1v1s PlayerB in Chess to decide who wins the game.
> PlayerB checkmates PlayerA in the game of Chess.
>> PlayerB Wins! Starting a new round. By the way, Player1.5 is here to stay.
> PlayerA does the Antartican Defense. An interesting move.
> Player1.5 develops the Glacon piece, and threatens to freeze the whole board with its magic.
> Little did Player1.5 know, the Glacon is improperly developed and therefore vunerable. PlayerB captures the Glacon with a knight, sending the Glacon to Captured Piece Jail. Before you bring up the question “Couldn’t the knight just be frozen?” and the answer is no, the horse has a winter coat, which means that as the knight hops to the Glacon, most available ice spells at the moment wouldn’t be fast-acting enough to get through the equine winter coat’s cold protection, let alone freeze the knight in time.
> PlayerA sacrifices THE WIZARD! Just kidding, it’s a cardboard cutout, which then proceeds to flop onto the ground.
> Player1.5, after quickly developing their other pieces to try to attack the blundered “wizard,” sees the wizard reveal itself to be a decoy and a cardboard cutout.
> PlayerB weaves a snake through Player1.5’s position.
> PlayerA deploys a glider and aligns it diagonally so it will end up in Player1.5’s position, turning the battlefield between Players 1.5 and B into a 3 player battlefield.
> PlayerA’s Glider crashes into Player1.5’s King; dealing damage to it.
> Player1.5 threatens the Wizard.
> PlayerB installs a Miner onto the Iron Node.
> PlayerA throws an umbrella at Player1.5’s rook in response, which gets the wizard out of the situation.
> Player1.5 captures the snake with their queen.
> PlayerB puts newly-forged Iron Horse Armor onto their knight.
> PlayerA develops their wizard further.
> Player1.5 applies a bandage to their king.
> PlayerB builds a RainCo. Anti-Lizard Barrier around Player1.5’s claim.
++ Meanwhile in Captured Piece Jail…
+ Lizard 1: Who are you?
+ Glacon: I am the ice mage.
+ Lizard 1: What are you here for?
+ Glacon: Getting blundered due to a flaw in Player1.5’s plans.
+ Lizard 1: Ah, a fellow 1.5er.
++ End of dialog.
> PlayerA asks Player1.5 to leave the game.
> Player1.5: “Why?”
> PlayerA: “Please leave so we can return to A VS B gameplay…”
< Player1.5 reluctantly agrees and leaves. Yes, I reversed the angle bracket. Yours truly, the author.
> PlayerB salvages Player1.5’s Base.
> PlayerA also gets their share of the 1.5 Base.
> PlayerB builds a Monopoly hotel on their half of the 1.5 Base.
> PlayerA sieges PlayerB’s Base.
> PlayerB yoinks their anti-lizard barrier and places it to protect their base.
> PlayerA sends some speedy pawns at the Miner to steal some iron. This gets the pawns promoted to Smiths.
> PlayerB uses their RainCo Calculator to calculate PlayerA’s next moves.
> PlayerA adds fake “Find 99 Factorial” instructions to their written plan.
> PlayerB’s calculator has an error handler, destroying PlayerA’s interference.
++ Meanwhile in Captured Piece Jail…
+ Glacon: Which player should we defect to? Player1.5 left the battle.
+ Lizard 1: This might sound like a crazy plan, Glacon, but you should align with your captor, PlayerB.
+ Glacon: Very well then.
++ End of dialog.
> Glacon joins PlayerB’s side.
> PlayerA equips the knight with sturdier horse armor, stronger armor for the rider, and a bit of agility.
> PlayerB anticipates a surprise attack with the knight.
> PlayerA ties their shoes, which wastes some time for them, but for their actual move, they send the knight at the base.
> PlayerB: “The knight is here any minute now… uhh… Any minute-”
> PlayerA’s knight barges in.
> PlayerB screams in suprise: “AHFPOISKJFPASJGFJASIOHFDIGUSFJSI”
> PlayerB regains composure and readies their Glacon so they will win against the knight.
> PlayerA taunts PlayerB by mimicking that one horse sound effect via their knight.
> PlayerB throws an ice spell at the knight, with the Glacon.
> PlayerA’s knight stuns the Glacon.
> PlayerB helps the Glacon regain composure.
> PlayerA gets the knight deeper into PlayerA’s base.
> PlayerB runs out of rooks, so they just use miniature bricks.
> PlayerA’s knight makes a run for the critical systems.
> PlayerB promotes a brick to a structure.
> PlayerA aligns their knight to attack the critical systems.
> PlayerB stops the knight with the Glacon’s ice shield.
> PlayerA makes the knight break the ice shield with its horseshoes.
> PlayerB threatens PlayerA with glue.
> PlayerA destroys the critical systems in PlayerB’s base.
>> PlayerA Wins! Starting a new round.
> PlayerA develops their pieces normally. A book move, per this book of openings that are in mundane chess.
> PlayerB consults a very large source of wacky strategies for a wacky strategy to use.
> A card pops out of the source, and it reads: “Freezemaxxing is the practice of exploiting ice magic to win by frostbite. It is most commonly done by placing these Freezing towers around your base to create a frosty aura that will stall and frostbite enemy pieces.” PlayerB takes the information card and keeps it in their hand.

(explain the jokes)