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# Zones: A map of relationship types to help relieve dating confusion
# https://www.youtube.com/watch/lL13EeEhgag

00:00:00.600 [Music]
00:00:07.020 okay this is the new zones chart it is
00:00:09.780 replacing the old zones chart this one
00:00:11.940 is pretty much fully fleshed out as
00:00:14.280 usual if you can find something that I
00:00:16.859 missed please let me know but I think I
00:00:18.900 got it all
00:00:20.100 this is a chart that is divided into the
00:00:24.180 way that men categorize women and the
00:00:27.240 way that women categorize men men have
00:00:30.599 one set of values men add up what we
00:00:34.620 think about your looks your personality
00:00:36.719 we subtract how much
00:00:39.239 availability you're giving to other men
00:00:41.399 and then here I drew a cabinet which is
00:00:44.219 the male version of the Galaxy because
00:00:46.800 there are other things that can make
00:00:48.600 women more and less valuable to men but
00:00:50.700 it's not very much these many many
00:00:53.520 things can make a big difference a big
00:00:56.640 impact on how women like men but over
00:01:00.120 here it's not that big of an impact
00:01:02.219 so this is basically the way that men
00:01:04.680 decide how much they value you and then
00:01:07.560 once we decide from the best I can get
00:01:11.340 to the worst I'll take where we're gonna
00:01:13.560 put you you kind of end up in one of
00:01:16.500 these boxes and it can be pretty hard to
00:01:19.140 leave in order to do that you would have
00:01:21.299 to either improve your looks or your
00:01:23.280 personality or get rid of the email
00:01:24.900 attention that you have in your life
00:01:27.000 and you're not going to really be able
00:01:28.560 to do it with this if if this isn't
00:01:31.439 cutting it for us
00:01:32.880 this is a big lesson that a lot of women
00:01:34.979 need to learn you can't overcome lack in
00:01:38.579 this department by wearing a t-shirt
00:01:41.400 that he likes or picking up a hobby that
00:01:43.500 he likes that's why it's a cabinet it's
00:01:45.119 very very small it makes a small impact
00:01:46.979 if your cabinet is perfect for the man
00:01:49.860 that you want it might give you half a
00:01:51.960 point to a point this is really most of
00:01:54.240 it women on the other hand they have two
00:01:57.240 sets of criteria that they evaluate men
00:01:59.939 on they have good guy stuff and bad boy
00:02:03.360 stuff and this is one of the reasons
00:02:05.460 that there's so much confusion in our
00:02:08.098 culture about what women want because
00:02:09.959 they say they want good guy things and
00:02:12.420 then they actually go with men who have
00:02:14.520 bad boy things but the truth is they
00:02:16.440 want both and you don't have to choose
00:02:19.080 in our language we say I'm a good guy or
00:02:22.680 I'm a bad boy or I'm good or I'm bad or
00:02:25.200 this is but really you can be both of
00:02:27.480 these things and in order to be both of
00:02:29.640 these things you have to maximize your
00:02:31.980 physical attractiveness Face Body height
00:02:33.780 voice all the things that you can do
00:02:35.760 lose weight get muscle maximize it and
00:02:38.400 maximize your masculinity dominance
00:02:40.319 power confidence smoothness which is
00:02:43.140 I'll explain that later smoothness is
00:02:45.300 basically how well you understand women
00:02:48.599 if you can approach a woman and you know
00:02:51.420 what it is that she responds to she's
00:02:53.640 gonna go oh you understand women that's
00:02:56.160 your smooth that requires some more
00:02:59.819 unpacking and women also respond to dark
00:03:01.860 Triad traits this is a big difference
00:03:04.379 between men and women men do not need
00:03:07.260 women to have any evil stuff any bad boy
00:03:10.440 stuff we don't need bad girls some guys
00:03:12.720 like bad girls but that's a personality
00:03:14.819 thing they men in general don't need
00:03:18.000 girls to be bad women need men to be at
00:03:21.780 least somewhat bad you've got to be
00:03:23.640 dangerous you have to have the ability
00:03:25.920 to be dangerous not necessarily go to
00:03:28.080 jail but you have to be capable of it
00:03:30.360 and that will boost your bad boy score
00:03:32.400 which is what you really want you would
00:03:34.319 it's better to be all bad and no good
00:03:36.180 than it is to be all good and no bad
00:03:37.440 because then you end up in the friend
00:03:38.340 zone so both of these speech and thought
00:03:41.099 bubbles are arranged the same way the
00:03:43.620 higher up you go the more it is based in
00:03:46.260 love which is supportive public
00:03:47.940 monogamous emotional and the farther
00:03:50.459 down you go the less love there's gonna
00:03:52.319 be and the more lust which is going to
00:03:54.000 be opportunistic secret multiple
00:03:56.099 partners at many times and impulsive
00:03:59.519 so of course a man is going to have lust
00:04:03.180 for a keeper of course he is because
00:04:04.980 that means that he likes the way she
00:04:06.480 looks but he's going to have a lot of
00:04:08.879 love for her way down here he's going to
00:04:11.519 have no love at all and it's going to be
00:04:13.500 entirely a lust-based relationship
00:04:16.139 sleepers in the Middle where we have
00:04:18.779 what women call situationships that's
00:04:22.019 where there's some level of emotional
00:04:24.540 connection but it's not really enough to
00:04:26.580 be the one and only you're kind of in a
00:04:29.160 middle Zone and and the man will say
00:04:31.860 things like I don't know where I'm gonna
00:04:33.300 be in three weeks you know like I don't
00:04:35.340 I don't know what my life is yes we do
00:04:37.620 we do know what our life is we do know
00:04:39.660 where we're going to be we just kind of
00:04:42.240 want to wait for someone who we're
00:04:43.919 definitely going to put in here you
00:04:45.540 gotta stop listening to these things
00:04:47.820 so for women avoiding getting into these
00:04:50.460 bad relationships is a lot easier than
00:04:53.400 it is for men to avoid getting in these
00:04:55.259 bad bad relationships you just have to
00:04:57.900 know how he feels about your looks your
00:05:00.900 personality and your exposure to other
00:05:03.120 men and the stuff you have in common
00:05:04.820 figure out how much he likes you and
00:05:08.880 judge it by how much investment he's
00:05:11.639 giving you how much of his time and
00:05:14.400 energy and money and whatever it is that
00:05:16.199 you value because every woman values
00:05:17.880 different kinds of investment but if you
00:05:20.040 value something and he's not giving it
00:05:22.620 to you because this is the higher you go
00:05:24.180 with more investment the lower you go
00:05:25.620 the less investment if he's not giving
00:05:27.900 you the investment that you want that's
00:05:30.300 a very clear signal that you're not here
00:05:33.120 and you either have to change something
00:05:35.880 to get here or you have to leave and
00:05:38.340 find another guy who likes you
00:05:40.320 so just really quick for men Keepers is
00:05:42.900 obviously my one and only this is the
00:05:45.000 one woman that we care about the most
00:05:46.320 sleepers is these are girls who we like
00:05:49.620 and we're attracted to them and as you
00:05:51.720 can see this is the public private line
00:05:54.000 there are sometimes that sleeper
00:05:56.039 relationships
00:05:57.360 enter into the public Arena and will go
00:05:59.520 out with you but we still aren't really
00:06:01.979 committed and we kind of waffle a little
00:06:03.720 and then there are some times where
00:06:04.860 sleeper relationships are like let's
00:06:07.139 just keep this between us just come over
00:06:08.820 at midnight right once you get down into
00:06:11.580 sweepers this is usually just mistakes
00:06:14.340 we usually wish we hadn't done this it
00:06:17.400 might be related to alcohol or maybe
00:06:20.280 it's been a really long time but if
00:06:22.620 there's any ever any kind of contact
00:06:24.300 here
00:06:25.759 it's called sweepers as in under the rug
00:06:28.979 because we don't want anyone to know
00:06:30.479 about it so if a guy has ever had any
00:06:33.479 level of a relationship with you and
00:06:35.699 tried to hide you and not answer the
00:06:37.979 phone and disappeared and everything
00:06:39.000 that's where you were and you need to
00:06:42.060 not be there because it's pretty
00:06:43.919 uncomfortable
00:06:45.900 so for women it's obviously a lot more
00:06:48.000 complicated because women have two
00:06:50.819 sets of criteria that they judge men on
00:06:53.280 one of them is good guy stuff and one of
00:06:55.380 them is bad boy stuff
00:06:57.120 good guy stuff the level of good guy
00:06:59.639 things that you have which is of course
00:07:00.900 how much you're investing in her is it
00:07:03.360 enough for her are you presentable does
00:07:05.460 that make you look good that's um for
00:07:08.039 women looks is broken down into
00:07:10.199 presentable and face and body and height
00:07:12.780 and voice so there's
00:07:14.400 men have that both in one thing but
00:07:16.919 women have looks separate so if you're
00:07:19.319 really you know physically unattractive
00:07:21.060 guy but you're very well put together
00:07:22.500 and you're giving a woman a lot of
00:07:24.419 investment then you would have a really
00:07:26.400 high good guy score in a very low bad
00:07:28.440 boy score and you would end up in the
00:07:30.240 friend zone so the amount that a woman
00:07:32.699 thinks you are a good guy is going to be
00:07:34.680 the amount of investment that you're
00:07:36.419 giving her compared to what she wants
00:07:38.160 the amount that you make her look good
00:07:40.319 when you're seen together in public
00:07:41.819 because that's going to push you above
00:07:43.319 the public line and then this is
00:07:46.199 important
00:07:47.479 men subtract other men from their
00:07:50.699 valuation of women and women subtract
00:07:53.280 other women from their valuation of men
00:07:55.440 in the good guy Zone but women will very
00:07:58.919 often keep going back to a bad boy that
00:08:01.500 has a lot of girls or a situationship
00:08:03.960 with a guy who has a lot of girls that
00:08:05.520 women generally do not subtract other
00:08:08.280 women from the bad boy score they take
00:08:11.160 other women from the good guy score
00:08:13.080 because that's going to take away your
00:08:15.539 investment in her and over here having
00:08:18.960 other women does not take away your
00:08:20.759 investment in her because it's all based
00:08:22.620 in excitement and and physical things
00:08:25.740 and then finally of course women have
00:08:28.500 the Galaxy and that's many many many
00:08:30.539 little things that each individual woman
00:08:33.059 values separately which is the male
00:08:35.700 version is the cabinet in here a woman
00:08:37.799 might have like being good with kids or
00:08:40.919 liking pets or having the same hobbies
00:08:43.500 in common or wearing a particular kind
00:08:45.300 of shirt there's lots and lots of little
00:08:47.880 details in here that don't quite fit
00:08:50.459 into anything else it's just what fits
00:08:53.160 with her life what matches with her
00:08:55.380 experience and with her feelings and
00:08:57.839 it's difficult to really predict what
00:08:59.700 that's going to be it's very individual
00:09:01.140 for everybody and this is very
00:09:02.580 individual for everybody too but this
00:09:04.260 only matters a little bit and this if
00:09:06.779 you have what a woman wants in here it
00:09:08.880 can give you a few points like if you're
00:09:11.580 not particularly presentable but you're
00:09:13.500 okay and you don't have a lot to invest
00:09:15.540 but you're okay and you have a low of
00:09:17.640 things in common with her it can boost
00:09:19.260 you up a few points on the good guy
00:09:20.880 score again not the bad boy scorer so
00:09:23.940 all of those things in the good guy
00:09:25.380 score they measure how much the woman
00:09:27.360 trusts you to be able to be there for
00:09:29.940 her and make her look good and have a
00:09:32.100 very public relationship very public the
00:09:35.399 more you are a good guy the safer that
00:09:37.500 she will feel going out with you and
00:09:39.600 being seen with you and the friend zone
00:09:41.700 husband's owner the prince charming Zone
00:09:43.380 but again if you have only good guy
00:09:46.320 traits she's not going to like you
00:09:48.899 enough for any of these zones
00:09:51.959 you have to have some bad boy traits and
00:09:55.500 it could be just looking good that's
00:09:57.779 enough for some women it can be there
00:10:00.959 are some guys who don't look that good
00:10:02.820 but they're very very smooth again and
00:10:05.339 they have experience with women and
00:10:06.899 women like it when they know you have
00:10:09.000 experience with women if you are very
00:10:11.640 dominant if you're good at something
00:10:12.839 like a sport if you're the head of your
00:10:14.580 social group if you're the boss at a job
00:10:16.680 like if she works somewhere and her boss
00:10:19.440 is very very dominant over other people
00:10:21.300 that's going to sort of trigger
00:10:22.920 something in there it triggers something
00:10:24.600 in the in the bad boy continuum
00:10:27.300 men who are very confident in themselves
00:10:29.640 dark Triad traits also appears here dark
00:10:32.519 Triad traits are linked to power and one
00:10:35.100 of the ways that power is most easily
00:10:38.060 accrued for men is by being kind of
00:10:41.459 brutal to other people and using them
00:10:44.040 and tricking them and it can get pretty
00:10:46.079 dark that's why it's called that
00:10:48.240 but it does result in men getting more
00:10:50.579 power and more money and more
00:10:54.779 status and all of those things are
00:10:57.360 attractive to women again
00:11:00.959 different women value different things
00:11:02.940 differently and you can have no looks at
00:11:06.300 all but very high masculinity and women
00:11:09.540 will like you like this that their women
00:11:13.140 are very different from Men in that way
00:11:14.940 if a woman is really unattractive but
00:11:17.940 has a great personality we generally
00:11:20.459 will not say well her personality is
00:11:22.440 worth enough to get up here you have to
00:11:24.480 have at least a bare minimum of looks
00:11:26.279 for men but for women I want you to
00:11:29.579 Google Henry Kissinger he is not an
00:11:32.160 attractive man but he was sleeping with
00:11:34.380 supermodels because he was very very
00:11:36.060 powerful on a global scale
00:11:38.360 masculinity is very attractive to women
00:11:41.640 so you can have a maximum bad boy score
00:11:43.920 if you have super high masculinity if
00:11:45.959 you have super high power and no looks
00:11:48.420 it's different
00:11:50.220 so the way that a woman feels about your
00:11:52.920 two scores she's going to evaluate what
00:11:55.140 are your good guy traits and what are
00:11:57.300 your bad boy traits and she's going to
00:11:59.519 evaluate how she feels about you that
00:12:02.579 creates I split it up into nine zones
00:12:04.740 and I just used terms that are familiar
00:12:07.019 in our culture to make it easier for
00:12:09.060 people to understand
00:12:11.040 we'll start with nothing if you have no
00:12:14.279 bad boy traits at all and no good guy
00:12:16.260 traits you're a ghost women don't even
00:12:18.360 recognize you you're just a thing you're
00:12:20.820 you're if you're the mailman you're just
00:12:22.620 the thing that makes the male come
00:12:23.880 unless you're very attractive and then
00:12:25.740 you would jump up to here uh let's start
00:12:28.500 by going up the good guy scale if you
00:12:30.540 are less than half good if you're if
00:12:33.240 you're below this public line and you
00:12:35.519 have no bad boy traits at all and you're
00:12:37.620 less than half good and you're pursuing
00:12:39.240 a woman she's gonna say ew you're a
00:12:41.700 creep you don't have you're not
00:12:43.680 attractive to me at all and you're not
00:12:46.740 very good
00:12:48.540 so I don't want to be around you
00:12:51.660 if you go a little bit above half
00:12:54.860 women will have a gold digger
00:12:57.120 relationship with men in this area if
00:12:58.800 they have a lot of money if they don't
00:13:00.240 have a lot of money it's kind of like
00:13:01.980 ick it's kind of just
00:13:04.079 okay this guy is pretty nice but I don't
00:13:07.380 feel anything for him and so it's just
00:13:10.620 kind of gross and leave me alone it's
00:13:12.779 similar to creep but a creep is like
00:13:15.000 someone who you would not want to talk
00:13:17.100 to at all someone who you would want
00:13:19.019 gone from your life but you'd be aware
00:13:20.459 of him you would not be aware of the
00:13:21.839 ghost it would be something like well I
00:13:24.959 he has to be around and I have to
00:13:26.339 tolerate him but I don't really want to
00:13:27.779 think about
00:13:28.920 you know starting a relationship with
00:13:31.260 this guy unless he has tons of money and
00:13:33.180 then some women will put up with it
00:13:34.440 again some women again everyone is
00:13:36.300 different
00:13:37.440 if you max out your good guy score and
00:13:40.079 you have no bad boy points at all you're
00:13:42.360 going to be in the friend zone women
00:13:43.860 will go out in public with you they will
00:13:46.380 let you buy them things that that if
00:13:48.899 you're very very good to her and you're
00:13:50.639 treating her with investment and you're
00:13:52.860 making her look good and you don't have
00:13:54.959 other women I I had a video recently
00:13:56.880 with a girl talking about having a guy
00:13:59.160 in the friend zone and he got a
00:14:00.420 girlfriend and so she lost her
00:14:01.740 investment and she said well that makes
00:14:03.720 me feel bad but then again it wasn't a
00:14:05.700 relationship so I can't say anything she
00:14:07.800 was just talking about losing free
00:14:09.540 investment from a guy who she didn't
00:14:11.220 like at all so this is not somewhere you
00:14:13.680 want to be and this is something that a
00:14:16.500 lot of men have trouble with they they
00:14:18.959 be as nice as they can be and they go
00:14:22.380 why don't women want me because and it's
00:14:24.600 because women are not attracted to this
00:14:27.000 it's what makes them feel safe and
00:14:29.399 comfortable and it's what makes them
00:14:31.079 want to spend time around you it's what
00:14:32.820 makes them trust you it what may it's
00:14:34.560 what makes them want to be seen with you
00:14:37.079 or build a future with you but it's not
00:14:39.180 what makes them attracted to you this
00:14:41.699 confuses men because when women give us
00:14:44.820 what we value they shoot right up this
00:14:47.040 chart and we wonder why that doesn't
00:14:49.260 work for us and the reason is that you
00:14:51.779 either are not good looking and you I
00:14:54.480 mean God forbid that you're you have
00:14:56.940 unfixable things about you
00:14:59.100 but hopefully you can lose some weight
00:15:01.079 and gain some muscle and start dressing
00:15:03.540 better and become more masculine if
00:15:06.240 there are things that you cannot fix
00:15:07.440 about your body you have to at least be
00:15:09.839 more manly
00:15:11.519 and then that's going to give you some
00:15:13.680 degree of points so if you are maximum
00:15:16.199 nice and you become more manly by
00:15:18.480 working on yourself take care of your
00:15:20.459 face and your body and and become more
00:15:22.980 of a man you might move into the
00:15:25.079 husband's own if you do a fantastic job
00:15:26.940 you could move into the prince charming
00:15:28.320 Zone but this is very very very very
00:15:29.639 very rare
00:15:31.139 so we did the First Column let's do the
00:15:33.360 second column if you are a medium bad
00:15:36.360 boy if you're
00:15:37.500 me and bad if you're medium attractive
00:15:39.240 or medium masculine kind of manly but
00:15:41.639 not really and you have no good guy
00:15:43.500 things at all sometimes you will be
00:15:45.899 women's drunken mistake this is kind of
00:15:48.000 like the female sweeper
00:15:50.040 she might make a mistake and and she'll
00:15:52.019 feel like Well you aren't really a bad
00:15:55.320 boy you don't really do it for me we
00:15:58.800 shouldn't have done this I thought that
00:16:00.420 you were going to be more exciting but
00:16:02.339 you're really lukewarm and you're not
00:16:04.199 nice at all if you are medium bad and
00:16:09.060 you're again under half good this is a
00:16:12.000 bad situationship this range is
00:16:14.360 situationships and this one is settling
00:16:16.680 because at this point this can become
00:16:20.100 permanent in public but in all three of
00:16:22.440 these this these are where the man will
00:16:25.139 not commit and this is where the woman
00:16:26.579 will not commit
00:16:28.139 so they're all situationships but
00:16:29.880 different kinds this one again the bad
00:16:32.760 situationship is with a guy who's half
00:16:34.680 attractive or half masculine half what
00:16:36.959 women you know get excited about but not
00:16:40.800 nice enough to settle for and not even
00:16:43.740 close to nice enough to be in the
00:16:45.180 husband's own not giving enough
00:16:46.920 investment not presentable enough kind
00:16:49.259 of dumpy not doing great in life that's
00:16:52.380 a bad situationship where the woman will
00:16:54.660 not turn the key
00:16:56.519 if you go above the half point of the
00:16:59.459 good guy traits then you get to the
00:17:01.440 settling point and at a certain point
00:17:03.180 women will settle and I kind of I picked
00:17:06.419 colors for these things that I think
00:17:07.740 represent the emotions settling is kind
00:17:09.599 of Dusty it's like an old pillowcase
00:17:11.459 that hasn't been washed in a while it's
00:17:13.740 just like huh it works I guess it's not
00:17:17.699 very exciting but it's often better than
00:17:19.740 nothing
00:17:20.640 and then if you work really really hard
00:17:23.459 to bring all of these to her if you have
00:17:25.260 everything in common with her and you're
00:17:27.119 supporting her really well and you make
00:17:28.679 her look really good you can be in the
00:17:30.480 husband's own and the way that women
00:17:32.400 will think of you in the husband's own
00:17:33.720 as well he's not that much of a man he's
00:17:36.600 not super attractive and he's not super
00:17:38.880 manly but man does he ever take care of
00:17:40.980 me and that's my husband and I'm proud
00:17:42.780 of him so then let's do the last column
00:17:45.000 the last column has both of the kinds of
00:17:48.240 relationships that women like the most
00:17:50.280 women do like friend zone relationships
00:17:52.740 but they're not nearly as fun as bad boy
00:17:55.200 relationships not even close and they're
00:17:58.260 not as good as Prince Charming
00:17:59.400 relationships which are again very very
00:18:01.080 rare the prince charming relationship is
00:18:03.240 the ideal long term and the bad boy
00:18:05.700 relationship is the ideal short term
00:18:07.500 which is a really difficult thing about
00:18:09.900 women this is one of the most difficult
00:18:12.000 things I've ever learned about women
00:18:13.320 that even if you manage to be Prince
00:18:16.020 Charming the bad boy is still more
00:18:18.960 exciting because it so bad and so short
00:18:22.799 term it's it's paradoxical that being
00:18:26.700 good can make her less excited for you
00:18:29.780 she'll be more excited for a bad boy
00:18:33.120 than she will be for Prince Charming
00:18:34.980 because there's something about
00:18:35.940 stability that kind of dilutes this and
00:18:39.660 this is the most healthy kind of
00:18:41.280 relationship when the the man is here
00:18:43.980 for the woman and the woman is here for
00:18:46.140 the man but the way that Society is
00:18:49.980 going lately in the way that it
00:18:51.960 typically goes in human history when a
00:18:54.299 guy gets this valuable he ends up having
00:18:57.120 multiple women and then they're all in a
00:18:59.340 Harem which is a kind of situationship
00:19:01.260 which usually the women think is either
00:19:03.840 a good or a mid
00:19:05.640 level situationship it's either one
00:19:07.919 where they go out with a guy and they're
00:19:09.360 seen with him and everyone knows he has
00:19:11.039 multiple women or it's just a quiet
00:19:12.960 thing where they go over his place and
00:19:15.000 that's all that they're that they're
00:19:17.520 gonna get and that's all that he's
00:19:18.900 willing to give I have a story I always
00:19:20.760 tell everyone about when I was driving
00:19:22.260 for Uber and I met a girl who figured
00:19:25.740 out that I was good at this kind of
00:19:27.000 stuff she just picked it up really quick
00:19:28.620 and she asked me she said hey I'm seeing
00:19:31.320 this guy
00:19:32.400 and he has all these other girls and he
00:19:36.600 won't commit to me and and I'm stuck
00:19:38.760 here basically is what she was saying
00:19:40.320 and she said how do I get him to pick me
00:19:43.020 out of all the other women
00:19:45.000 and you know I looked in the rear view
00:19:46.500 mirror and I took a look at her and I
00:19:48.120 had listened to her talking to her
00:19:49.440 friend for a minute and I knew what kind
00:19:51.240 of you know life she was living roughly
00:19:52.980 and I pretty much assessed that you know
00:19:55.500 there's not a lot that you can do here
00:19:56.940 especially if this is the only other guy
00:19:58.440 you're seeing and I asked her that I
00:19:59.460 said is the only guy you're seeing and
00:20:00.840 she said yeah it was just the one guy
00:20:02.160 but he had four or five girls she
00:20:04.860 actually didn't know how many it was and
00:20:07.080 so I said to her
00:20:08.880 how well do you know this guy and she
00:20:10.679 said pretty well and I said what do you
00:20:13.740 think he would say if you told him you
00:20:16.320 have to have only me and get rid of all
00:20:18.660 your other girls or I'm leaving do you
00:20:21.240 do you think he would keep the four
00:20:23.880 other girls or keep you and she said she
00:20:26.220 that he would keep the four other girls
00:20:28.500 and I said and let me ask you this what
00:20:32.160 if I gave you a hundred percent of my
00:20:34.799 love and devotion and and I gave you all
00:20:38.340 of the good guys stuff I had to give
00:20:39.720 would you dump him for me and she got
00:20:42.360 really quiet and I said don't worry
00:20:44.820 about it you're not gonna hurt my
00:20:45.960 feelings we're in an Uber it doesn't
00:20:47.280 matter and she said no I would not do
00:20:49.320 that so she told me that a hundred
00:20:51.720 percent of what I could give her would
00:20:53.760 have been in this range or this range
00:20:57.059 and what she was getting from this other
00:20:59.160 guy was either here or here she valued
00:21:02.580 being in his Harem more than having me
00:21:06.000 all to herself because in her evaluation
00:21:08.160 she likes men that have more than I do
00:21:11.160 and so this is a a lesson that I'm
00:21:14.580 really hoping that women can learn I'm
00:21:16.500 hoping that I can can get it through to
00:21:18.600 some women that you can't if if you
00:21:21.539 can't improve this you can't improve
00:21:23.940 this you can't get rid of male attention
00:21:26.520 and you have maximized this and he's
00:21:29.100 putting you here he's not he doesn't
00:21:31.559 like you this much and he never will if
00:21:34.320 he's got five women why would he get rid
00:21:37.140 of four of them to keep one he would get
00:21:39.179 rid of one of them to keep four you're
00:21:40.620 just here and if you want to be here
00:21:42.840 that's your choice I can't make that no
00:21:45.360 one can make that choice for you if this
00:21:47.100 is what you prefer this and that's what
00:21:48.659 this girl said she said she would rather
00:21:50.820 be here with him than be probably here
00:21:53.640 with me at least in her evaluation maybe
00:21:55.799 I maybe I would have been able to do
00:21:57.059 this for her maybe
00:21:58.320 but in her assessment I was in this icky
00:22:01.679 Zone this kind of I don't really want
00:22:03.780 that I'd rather be with an exciting guy
00:22:05.340 20 of the time so that's pretty much it
00:22:08.280 that's how the zones work and that's how
00:22:11.280 men value women and how we place you in
00:22:14.100 here and that's how women value men and
00:22:16.080 how they Place Us in here and a lot of
00:22:19.380 the problems that we're having in the
00:22:21.659 dating Market are in the way that we're
00:22:23.100 negotiating women would rather have
00:22:26.940 a part of a guy than a whole you know
00:22:29.880 mid-level guy and men would rather have
00:22:33.360 one or two or five women in this Zone
00:22:36.179 than pick one of them and have a one and
00:22:38.760 only it would probably make us happier
00:22:41.340 if we had those kinds of relationships
00:22:43.740 but the way that we're negotiating
00:22:45.840 lately we're ending up here and here and
00:22:49.500 everyone's getting all hurt emotions
00:22:51.240 over it and of course we're ending up
00:22:52.740 here and here as well so I I can't make
00:22:55.919 your decisions for you I can't change
00:22:58.080 what you value but I can give you a map
00:23:01.140 so that you know how to make your own
00:23:04.260 choices that's pretty much it that's the
00:23:07.200 zones map let me know what you think and
00:23:09.600 report back if this is making any
00:23:12.059 positive changes for you I'd love to
00:23:13.559 hear it
00:23:14.630 [Music]