Dream

My sister T and me were invited over by M I guess. For dinner and the girl I’ve been interested in was there I guess (L). We had been getting along very well and had been spending a lot of time with my her the last months. I can’t say it’s a crush, by the worlds rules everything would speak against that. I guess I also never had those butterflies. Is that the defining moment when a crush becomes a crush? M says to me do you want a cold root beer? I was like yeah, you have root beer? Then she said yess. Then I notice a guy called Tarantino come from the rest room. before he gets to the dinner table, we meet. The usual get to know phrases are exchanged, Not long but enough to understand what his role here was. I already noticed his eyes fixated to a certain corner of the dinner table. He starts sitting next to L at the dinner Table. L instantly starts laughing at the same time he sits down next to her. Throughout the evening I make jokes, and the jokes I make are not really jokes, but it’s things L would usually laugh at. L doesn’t even react, not ignoring me, but something is different. L is usually aware of the things I do and normally reacts. It feels like she hasn’t looked at me once. Do I feel invisible or ignored? They smile and laugh together, like too much. I sense something is up, that of which I had suspected. I usually suspect this. As soon as this feeling comes up I can only think to myself: Has she found something better, someone to value her better, but doesn’t disregard that of what we had, and because of that it’s hard for her to confront me? Next thing M asks them both how they met. I thought to myself, ok they’re getting along well, is it a childhood friend? L grabs Tarantinos hands in a way not friend like, and responds : we met actually through Erisa. When she hosted the Pioneer Day in Kleve?! Together They say sum like yea it was so unexpected. The feeling I had only spiraled after that point. Instant feelings of not betrayal, but confusion. What did the long nights, talks and time that I had with L mean? What did it mean to L? Immediately it made me realize what it meant to me, obviously more that what it meant to L. The way I am, I’m not one to easily hide how I feel, so the rest of the evening felt numb. In cases where usually smile and engage, I was reduced to a quiet state. I couldn’t look at her. I couldn’t look at him. Maybe that would make me, not accept the situation I was in. M is concerned, she’s like that. She ask towards the end of the evening, are you okay? The automated respons of: I’m just tired , just comes out of my mouth. I knew that wasn’t true. As we all said our goodbyes once the dinner came to an end, T and me entered the car, in order to head home. I was quiet, more quiet then quiet. I can’t speak up, because I always had the impression that the situation was brought upon by me. defeated once again. 

You are professional artist who makes comics. please let me know how I can fill each comic panel and with speech bubbles like in Scott pilgrim . 

It’s not like I like like her, right? It just feels right when I’m with her. The vibes are right. We get along. Is it possible to have found someone that tops that energy that quick? It can’t be, is this a case of infatuation?