Mary Berry's had her first picky tea... and she's not amused
By Lauren Potts Picky tea, bits ‘n’ bobs, pic ‘n’ mix or choose-it – whatever you call it (and it goes by many names), it’s the go-to dinner when you just can’t be bothered to cook. And at the age of 88, Mary Berry has just experienced her first ever one. But how do other celebrity chefs do theirs? On this week's episode of Mary Makes It Easy, Radio 1's Jordan North met up with the cooking star and had prepared a spread for her. Olives sat alongside shop-bought quiche, crisps and even turkey dinosaurs. There were even some savoury pastry treats on the table too. Mary, who's used to preparing everything from scratch was slightly confused by what was laid out in front of her. "So what's going on here, are we having a children's party?" she asked the presenter. As he explained the concept of a 'picky tea', while grateful for the effort, she replied "I think I'm right in saying you have cooked none of this." Yes Mary, that's one of the joys of a picky tea! On some evenings, you find yourself, aglow in the fridge light, rooting around for remnants of ham, staring at once-yellow cheese that’s now closer to blue, and wondering if that half jar of pickles from last Christmas is still edible. The idea of eating the rainbow goes out the window: tonight is all about beige. It’s piling bread, sausage rolls, quiche and crackers on top of your potato salad, adding a tomato for ‘balance’ and throwing in a cocktail sausage for protein. If it’s in the fridge, it’s going in the teatime spread. While, sure, a picky tea isn’t exactly Instagrammable, it’s as satisfying and comforting as it is convenient. When an LA TikToker recently claimed she’d dreamt up the concept and tried to rebrand her platter as #girldinner, Brits were collectively furious. Even Nigella Lawson weighed in on the ensuing social media bunfight with a Tweet that came with almost audible teeth sucking: “We call it picky bits.” Though we in the UK can’t claim to have created the concept either – see German Abendbrot, Greek mezze and Spanish tapas – it seems this nation is curiously protective of it. For many, it conjures up nostalgic memories of childhood teas when usual dinner procedures went out the window and in swept excitement and novelty. Sometimes, even cutlery was shunned in favour of fingers. This ultra-convenient dinner is for everyone while Mary Berry hadn't encountered one before other celebrity foodies love it. So, what does the picky tea of a famous restaurant critic, chef, restaurateur or TV personality look like? They revealed all to us about their dream spread. ‘The epitome of comfort eating’ Grace Dent’s ultimate picky tea involves tubs of pitted green olives from the supermarket, potato waffles cooked in the toaster, Babybels and shop-bought coleslaw. “Picky teas are the epitome of comfort eating,” says the food critic, whose long-running podcast and latest book on the subject help demonstrate her niche expertise. “They’re quick, hit the spot and you’d never take a photo of them for socials. “They arrive on a tray in various plates and tubs and with a cacophony of sauces. It’s where Middle Eastern meets Cantonese and Mexican – with a big dollop of that relish at the back of the fridge you brought home from your day trip to Bridlington.” Table manners and social etiquette also cease to apply in a picky tea scenario, explains Dent. “This isn’t a time for knives and forks. It’s about hands, grabbing things and maybe getting dirty. You need runny things. And things to scoop them with. The humble tortilla chip or the loaf of freezer-section garlic bread goes a long way here. Extra marks for breaded things – scampi, fish fingers out of the freezer – with some sort of mayo-based dip.” ‘You can go the whole hog’ Self-styled potato queen and chef Poppy O’Toole also favours a carb-and-cream combo when she turns to picky bits after a long day in the kitchen. “For me, it’s anything I’ve not had to make and raiding the supermarket for anything in a container that I don’t have to wash up,” says the Michelin-trained chef and Young MasterChef judge. “It’s couscous in a tub, hummus, chopped vegetables, ham, pickles, scotch eggs, cocktail sausages, sausage rolls – almost like a buffet at a wake." She says she would always pick a “vessel” like a cracker or bread to “shovel it in your mouth” with, then something yoghurt or cream based to “bind it all”, like coleslaw or – obviously – potato salad. Other than that, she says there are “no real rules”. One of the joys of this way of eating is the “surprise” element it brings, thinks O’Toole. “I love getting a different mouthful every time. If you have a risotto, you know what you’re getting with each spoonful, whereas with picky bits you can have a forkful of cocktail sausage then the next one is going to be sausage roll – that’s the thrill of it.” ‘Nasty, guilty pleasures’ Saturday Kitchen star Matt Tebbutt also subscribes to the “no rules” method. His “carpet picnic” or plate of “bits and bobs” is a mishmash of posh tins of chilli sardines or tomatoes and garlic rubbed on toast, cosying up next to more humble snacks like spicy Nik Naks. “I like the informality of it, there’s no pretension. You can put all your nasty, guilty pleasures alongside some really nice cheddar – my dirty snack salamis sit quite happily alongside things like that,” explains the presenter. “I can graze on something savoury one minute and grab some chocolate the next – it’s an ‘I don’t care’ dinner, for when you’re either out of ideas, running late or can’t be bothered.” Beyond taking all the components out of the fridge two hours before eating (“otherwise it’s just cold and doesn’t taste of much”), he says there’s no science behind it, though he does suggest there should be an element of protein. “It has to fill you up, so I’d stick eggs on there because they’re filling and, with a bit of salad cream or mayonnaise, they’re delicious and sit nicely with cornichons and charcuterie.” ‘It should feel like a treat’ Though restaurateur Nisha Katona only turns to a picky tea out of “necessity”, when she does, she makes sure it includes a mix of tastes and textures. “The palate needs that salt hit, that cleansing tang of acid and some kind of fat,” says the owner of the Mowgli street food chain. “If there is an element of smoke then you have the bonus hit of the fire-roasted feast that satisfies our primeval greed. That’s why hams and cured meats are such popular elements of the picky tea.” Her perfect picky plate includes beetroot-flavoured rice cakes, cream cheese (but only “the good stuff that clings to the hips and arteries”) and tins of smoked mussels. It’s a plate that’s all-together different to just reheating last night’s dinner, she says. “The difference between a picky tea and leftovers is entirely emotional – a picky tea should feel like a treat. Eating leftovers is tidying up.” Marcus Wareing agrees, revealing that his picky teas can involve quite fancy ingredients. “For me it’s good-quality deli food. I’d have salami, a pork pie and sausage rolls – but not from the supermarket, from a deli. My wife always makes fresh coleslaw with red cabbage so that’s always in the fridge, so I’d add that, along with good cheddar or Lancashire cheese and I’d cut up some fresh tomatoes with a little vinegar. It’s like going to a buffet and picking out all the little bits you like.” How to guarantee picky tea satisfaction Though opinion no doubt remains split on the subject, one thing experts do agree on is that a picky tea’s an occasional indulgence – whether that’s because it’s too hot to cook, it’s a kid’s birthday party or the spread’s raison d’etre: Boxing Day. Nutritional therapist Ellie Hickman says while there’s no real issue with eating the odd picky tea as part of a balanced diet, there’s a risk you’ll be hungry again a few hours later unless you bulk it out with a mix of vegetables and proteins like meat and cheese, which don’t spike blood sugars as quickly as carbohydrates. “Picky teas quite often feature more carbohydrate-based products like chips, crisps, crackers and bread. While these foods can fill us up initially, they can often lead us to feeling hungry an hour or so later. The best way to stay satisfied after a picky tea is to make sure you get the balance of proteins as well as carbs.” And, while there’s no perfect ‘one-size-fits-all’ plate, common nutritional principles should still apply whatever you’re eating, she adds. “It's important for us to ensure there is a lot of colour on our plate – try and aim to get four. The more colours you have the more it can feed the healthy bacteria in our gut, thus improving our health. Try to concentrate on ratios – get more protein sources on your plate than carbohydrates and, if you’re having those, try and opt for the brown variety.” Originally published August 2023