# Java

*Unfortunately 3 billion devices run Java.*

Java (named after an island where coffee comes from, not to be confused with JavaScript) is a highly bloated, slow, memory inefficient "programming language" that's unfortunately fairly popular. It is compiled to bytecode and therefore "platform independent" (as long as the platform is blessed with abundant resources to waste on running the Java virtual machine). Some of the features of Java include bloat, slow loading, slow running, supporting capitalism, forced and unavoidable object obsession and the necessity to create a billion of files to write even a simple program.

{ I tried programming in Java but it made me so much dumber, it literally closed my eyes in so many ways, never touch it if you can. ~drummyfish }

Avoid this shit.

{ I've met retards who seriously think Java is more portable than C lol. I wanna suicide myself. ~drummyfish }