# English

*"there'dn't've"* --English

English is a natural human language spoken mainly in the USA, UK and Australia as well as in dozens of other countries and in all parts of the world (with about 1.5 billion speakers). It is the default language of the world nowadays. Except for the awkward relationship between written English and its pronunciation it is a pretty simple and suckless language (even though not as suckless as Esperanto), even a braindead man can learn it { Knowing Czech and learning Spanish, which is considered one of the easier languages, I can say English is orders of magnitude simpler. ~drummyfish }. It is the lingua franca of the tech world (virtually every programming language is based on English for example) and many other worldwide communities as well as the Internet. Thanks to its simplicity (lack of declension, fixed word order, relatively simple grammatical rules etc.) it is pretty suitable for computer analysis and as a basis for programming languages.

If you haven't noticed, this wiki is written in English.

## Retarded Mistakes You Make In English

Even though it's literally one of the simplest languages on Earth, you probably make some of the following stupid mistakes:

- **"The reason is because ..."**: This is just awful, if you have any brain at all your ears just bleed. Correctly you say "The reason is (that) ...". Why? Here is a small helper: "Why are you not working?", "Because I'm lazy.", "What is the sound?", "The sound is noise.", "You are not working. What is the reason?", "The reason is my laziness" OR "The reason is (that) I'm lazy.".
- **"Just because X doesn't mean Y"**: this is completely grammatically wrong, it is either "Just the fact that X doesn't mean Y." OR "Just because X not(Y)." You just have to hear it, but here is an attempt at showing you why this it's wrong: "I don't have to cry just because I'm sad.", we can reverse the sentences to "Just because I'm sad I don't have to cry" OR "Just the fact that I'm sad doesn't mean I have to cry".
- **"How it looks like"**: It's either fucking "what it looks like" OR "how it looks", NOT both at once.
- **Using apostrophe for plural**, especially with acronyms, for example "VPN's" (WRONG) instead of "VPNs" (correct). With short words, e.g. "a", 99.9999999999% will use apostrophe for plural ("a's" instead of as), demonstrating their endless stupidity. I don't know if there's a gene for this but somehow no one ever gets this right.
- **Spelling**: beginner stuff like "loose" vs "lose", "its" vs "it's", "they're" vs "their", "you're" vs "your", "effects" vs "affects" etc. It actually seems native speakers are more prone to this because they never actually learn this extremely basic stuff at school. { I only learned that someone can actually confuse "you're" vs "your" when I got on the Internet and saw native speakers make this kind of error, I never saw anyone confuse these in my school classes, we didn't even pronounce them the same. ~drummyfish }
- **Countable vs uncountable** bitch, I double dare you to ever say shit like "less mistakes".
- **Funny mistakes** made by non-native speakers, like confusing "pass out" and "pass away", or asking "what's wrong with you?" instead of "what's wrong?", or "pressuring" vs "pressurizing" lol.
- **Awkward pronunciation mistakes**: there is no need to perfectly nail down the pronunciation of a native speaker, but it's embarrassing to show you don't know how to pronounce words as psychology (*p* is fucking silent), knife (*k* is fucking silent), technology (*ch* is pronounced as *k*, NOT as Spanish *j*, English doesn't have that sound at all! This error shows your level of English is VERY low.), not pronouncing *h* ("human" as "you man" for example) and so on.
- **Literal translations from native language**: this shows you're a noob not only at English, but language learning in general.
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