SQUIRMISH: The Videogame of Brawling Beasties
Release date: May 14, 2024
Developers: Steven Stwalley, Faust Logic, Inc.
Publishers: Faust Logic, Inc.
Genres: Strategy, Early Access
Categories: Single-player, Multi-player, PvP, Online PvP, Steam Achievements, Full controller support, Steam Cloud, Family Sharing
Supported languages: English

Enter the Squirmish, a ridiculous rumble where card creatures clash and only the strangest survive! Draft an odd squad of warriors, with names like Kittyclops, Pompaduck and Killgor the Conqueror. Each card has its own preposterous powers, so you'll need strategy -and a bit of luck of the dice -to survive! Knock out the competition and become the beastie boss! Based on the hilarious, critically-acclaimed card-battling game. Battle bizarre and ridiculous cards in both single-player and online PVP multiplayer modes. Rumble against a horde of odd opponents created just for the videogame, such as Tutufly, Picklepuss and Beatknock. Easy to learn how to play... but with wild and varied strategies to keep play interesting for up to 92 years, 163 days, 8 hours and 22 minutes! SQUIRMISH IS NOT JUST WEIRD FUNNY, AND NOT JUST HA-HA FUNNY, IT IS SNORT-HYUK-GUFFAW-MILK-SHOOTING-OUT-OF-YOUR-NOSE FUNNY Squirmish has more crazy cartoon buffoons than you can fit in a clown-car, with some of them shouting their insane battle cries, others chattering incessantly about all sorts of obscure nonsense, and some just hypnotically wiggling their sausage-arms, seemingly summoning a chortle from deep in your guts. Indeed, Squirmish is the sort of laugh-riot that someone really ought to call the police about. THE GOAL: KNOCK OUT THREE CARDS TO WIN A GAME If you knock out three of your opponent's cards by depleting all of their hit points before your opponent knocks out three of yours, you win the game! Huzzah! AN INFINITELY-PLAYABLE GAME! While the gameplay is simple and easy-to-learn, the wild variety of the cards (all with their own strange, unique abilities and attacks) makes Squirmish infinitely playable. You could play this game for one hundred years, and no two games would be alike (however, we do not recommend playing for longer than 62 years at one sitting). Add booster packs for even more cards and the game becomes so infinitely playable, you may even break the space-time continuum! DEFEAT THE ROGUES' GALLERY! A whole crew of ridiculous roughneck rogues are ready for you to battle against them... from the very green Newton through the brawny-brained Greyface. Can you defeat them all? Without a half-leprechaun's worth of luck and a solid knowledge of Squirmish card strategy, it sure won't be easy! Fortunately, battling through the Rogue's Gallery works like a school of Squirmish. Once you graduate from it, it should imbue you with all the skills you need to give your opponents a good run for their Mommy. Best of all, if you beat a rogue enough times, you get a prize card that makes it so you can battle as that rogue in the game... and use their soundboard to taunt your opponents! BATTLE YOUR BEST BEASTS IN CUSTOM DECKS! Start out with the standard deck of 70 different hilarious cards, ready for rumbling. Learn more about them and their wildly-varying strategies, both in-game and in the card management section. Build your own decks to play with, or use different ready-made decks with different interesting card combinations. GANG UP WITH GRUESOME GROUPS! Some Squirmish cards belong to groups. The Fraternal Order of Strange Fellows! The Society of Slime! The Spooner Valley Cryptids! When more than one of these group members enters play (even if they are controlled by different players), that group is activated! When a group becomes active, so does that group's special group abilities... adding even more wild chaos to the battle. A GAME OF SKILL... AND OF CHANCE! To be a Squirmish master requires a great deal of skill... as well as a lot of luck! While the gameplay is simple and easy-to-learn, the strategies can get very complex, as every card has different attacks and abilities! Even with the best strategies, you'll need plenty of good luck as well... besides your hand being dealt to you randomly, the results of every attack are determined by a die roll. If you roll high enough, you'll get to use a card's special attack and really give your opponents the what-for! A VARIETY OF GAMEPLAY OPTIONS! You probably already know that you can play Squirmish in both single-player and PVP modes... but beyond that we have a number of different options for gameplay styles (with more in the works). - STANDARD : Play with an auto-built 36-card deck, containing exactly one complete group. - CLASSIC 70 : Play with the full 70-card 'Set A' deck from the tabletop version of Squirmish. - CUSTOM DECKLIST : Play with a pre-constructed thematic deck of 30 or more cards of your choosing. - 2 GROUP MONTE : Each player chooses one group to be included in the game deck... these groups are then combined with some other cards for a 36-card deck. - CONSTRUCTED MINI : Players each choose 12-card mini-decks, which are then combined with some other cards for a 36-card deck. - RANDOM 36 : Play with a 36-card deck randomly assembled from all available cards. BOOST YOUR GAME WITH BOOSTER PACKS! The game comes with 70 cards... which is a lot to learn about! Once you've mastered those cards, you can expand your play with booster packs that give you even more cards to play with. Our first booster pack, The Halloweenies, can be downloaded for free! More packs of monsters and miscreants are in the works and will be available soon. 

Press reviews: “All the cards the game has are in this digital copy with bright neon green background, crazy colors, characters zany and the whole thing feels like it was vomited up by a unicorn who had a fantastic day at the carnival eating all the candy and taking all the rides. And let me make myself clear, this is not a bad thing.” Geeks Vs. Geeks