Absurbia: A Trashy Satire of Suburban Outcries
Release date: Feb 2, 2021
Developers: Licking Vomit
Publishers: A Pond of Blue
Genres: Casual, Indie
Categories: Single-player, Family Sharing
Supported languages: English

Jesusx69 Religious Promotion How do you do I'm so thrilled to have the distinction of presenting this game in its original format. In my early teens, I first discovered this game when I was browsing images of our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. I was masturbating to his most glorious, divine, and sensual image. Most of his illustrations depict a man with well-defined cheekbones, a great bulbous nose, white porcelain skin, and furry eyebrows that could tickle my feet sour. The mere thought of his soft skin touching my legs and that tempestuous mouth moistening my toes stammered a deep moan from my lips, cut only by the light shivering of my body. I bit my lower lip, as I imagined myself kneeling against Jesus Christ, then lifting Christ's garments and kissing the space between his legs. He would look to the heavens, as he'd struggle to submit to the pleasure and temptation of my devilish tongue. His eyes rolled above and his eyelids spastically told me I was doing my seduction well. I massaged his ankles. I rubbed my thumbs against the penetration of his lower joints. He grasped at his robe and told me to hurry. I noticed something bumping against my forehead...his erect penile blessing. As I sped up my wank, I positioned my teeth to accept his invitation. I was near my climax. 'Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of your death. Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee, blessed are thou amongst women, and blessed are the fruits of thy womb Jesus.' As his name escaped my lips, cum spread amongst my legs, not unlike the power of his almighty name. It was a blessing, to have the imaginative sense to blow off Christ's penis and do so with the eloquence of his proverbs. I thought the religious perversion was over, until I awoke to the sweet scent of incense and became aroused. The stimulating connotations of such a sacred sensation became exemplified by its connections with the Buddhist faith. My own rampage for sexual encounter and experience became insatiable by only one submission to Jesus Christ, but that Buddha, in all his glory, came to me in this episode of lust. I began to imagine rubbing through the flabby skin of his man-boobs and sucking it harder and faster until his nipples became hard enough to cut the tongue that grazed it. I was only merciful to have rode on his lap and rub his bald head. I ran my fingers through the contours of his ears and knew that the 2nd climax would produce a wetness that transcends that of which its definition could allow. I became restless in my voice. So much so that I began rubbing my armpits and smelling the succulence of its foul odor. I was turned on. After climaxing a 2nd time, I began having visions of a larger, greener, and more muscular build. At first I thought it was somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. After all, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. The L on her forehead told me that I was a new prophet. I was to be the next Isiah, Muhammad, or Shirley Temple. Sexier than the Pope ever was. This game would be my life; my devotion is to purely follow the sacramental beliefs explained by the writings in this game. It is the bible or quran of this day. As I look to these religious texts, still encrusted by the ejaculation fluids that discharged as I read through them, I see how this game shall echo stronger through the anus of time, and last longer, farther, and harder beyond it. I hope that my story may have convinced you of devoting your life into the texts of this game, a religion to be heralded. Pleasures of Poop New, sad, and sinister things are happening to the icons of trash. “The grossest thing I've ever seen on steam.” “Absolutely disgusting.” “This nauseating “game” has to be seen to be believed.” “I feel like I’m having a stroke” “It’s spreading like cancer.” These are all authentic and genuine comments made about this game. As true as this game is stupid. Immerse yourself in all forms of poop and experience the pleasures that comes to those who accept poop wholeheartedly. Playing this game is like shaking hands with the devil if he were poop. To prove my divinity and solidarity to the affectionate kiss of a third, I present to you this venerable image of the most holy poop. Let your nose imagine the succulent smell of its tart flavour. Sensual aromas. Let your goo stick to it. The game will be updated regularly with new adventures of poop and his friends, in order to reflect the changing times. Poop is an art that doesn’t stay in one place and time, it changes and adapts, and is mold to be feces of all seasons. Steam Exclusive Offer Felicitations lower life forms, to whomever is blessed enough to see this letter of utmost divinity, I patronize you. This game is an invitation to experience the triumph of your supreme being’s endeavors. I am art personified (basically God!) Therefore, everyone is mandated to purchase my game and to see these scriptures as passages of truth and liberty. This is the only way to enter the kingdom of heaven, and anyone who chooses to believe and worship in the false prophets will perish in eternal hellfire and damnation, devoid of any happiness. Scores of great famine will plague the lands and send houses burning into an ashen mess of decay under my rule. Venerate and devote each word + sentence that comes from me and study each and every verse by its meaning and application into your shameful lives. I am the ruler of this earth that provides land from which your crops grow. Honor me as you would your sugardaddies and declare me your savior hereafter. I am the only honest truth in this world of lies, so buy my game on sale now to let God poop in your mouths. Experience the thrills and beauties of God’s feces. About the Game For whatever reason, you might have stumbled to the depths of trenches to see this bold adventure. I pray that cancer may spread and AIDs persist. Holding out to the brink of decency, an article of utter reprehensibility! What’s so absurd about the suburbs? The women who live like the roaches and rats, the creatures of basic trash! It’s Absurbia: A Trashy Satire of Suburban Outcries! Join Lele and Laverne, two middle-class runaway hysterics, as they trudge their chic ménage, for the deadly sake of their depraved lifestyles. Gawk and fall into a desperate outrage at the true freaks of nature, more disgusting and worth the title of a trash cavalcade, than that of cockroach-eaters, armpit-lickers, and fecal-bangers. Witness an underground garbage fest, that challenges the eccentrics of low-brow transgression and putridly cheap production, that borders unpalatable media, by any sensible rational being! Play this trash-decadent, transgressively campy black comedy, the trashiest of all “entertainment” genres, let it strip you senseless and berate you, with the pounding of wooden sticks and let it dowse you in ice-cold water, until you obey its smothering abuse! A feast of nonsensical gore and strange hyper-fetishized perversions! See the desperation of human nature in this twiddling pretense of good taste. A heaping garbage truck of idiotic sewage, from trash writing, trash producing, and trash dialogue, it’s a trash epic! Experience genuine trash in Absurbia. Artistic value, more like autistic value! Hahahaha! Note: This game is a sound novel-type of visual novel, therefore it is rather text-heavy. If you dislike using your imagination, then go away. The game's story and themes are meant to invoke disgust, annoyance, and/or anger, at times presenting these ideas in a blithe or even comedic sense, as for farce or anti-comedy. If you are uncomfortable by societal transgressions or confronting these, then just gift this to someone you hate.


Notes: Trigger warning for themes, jokes/mockery, discussions, indications, and literary depictions of/about Rape, Elder Abuse, Beastiality, Coprophilia, Coprophagia, Urophilia, Podophilia, Pica, Bad Language, Racial Slurs, Smoking, Drug Use, Glue-Sniffing, Alcohol Abuse, Violence, Mental Disability, Physical Disability, Torture, Lesbianism, Flagellation, Religion, Religious Perversion, Misogyny, Misandry, Misanthrope, Other Sexual Themes, Violence, Feet Bounding, Self-harm, Human Trafficking, etc. If you are uncomfortable or are easily offended by such, it is strongly advised for you to not play this game or take it with a tremendous amount of salt. The game is made for a highly niche audience, and so it might not be everyone’s usual outing.