that's cause no one got hit yeah it could be a different story that you'd have to be telling a family member or a loved one and what kills me when you're talking about this you know you're talking about for people listening they might not have understood having an aircraft flickering on the target or um sparkle is another word that we use so these aircraft have infrared lasers and they have you know it could have been an ac-NUMBER_TOKEN or an aNUMBER_TOKEN whatever it is so they have all these sensors they're looking down and they can basically put a laser beam that you can only see under night vision goggles on these people to show you exactly where they are and when they maneuver and their sensors are you know if they can identify an ak i mean hostile act hostile intent like you're good um to disregard all that technological advantage and to try to do that with physical horsepower yeah i'm not going to monday morning quarterback anybody but there probably were options that were far less risky right so that's and i think you're i think you're spot on dude i just think he's just trying to get it in um but which is dangerous it's dangerous man like in in you know i have a wife and kid to go home to and like i signed up to get after it but responsibly and intelligently you know so um and things just kept PROFANITY_TOKEN happening like that there was so many of those experiences and then finally uh yeah it was enough and then to go to go back real quick i know you know we covered like the my childhood stuff but to because you asked you're like that was enough for you to make you feel that strongly and it's like my mom was a a drug addict and my dad was gone and like she it was the child abuse was so immense like i had this feeling like i was back in that by like the way that this guy was like you're almost conditioned to it yeah so it brought up like childhood ptsd to be in a position with another person acting like possessive and PROFANITY_TOKEN manipulating because he was doing like shady PROFANITY_TOKEN and it was like this makes me feel like i'm PROFANITY_TOKEN a kid again with a drug addict you know and it's like i can't i can't stomach this this kind of environment like i signed up for this PROFANITY_TOKEN to be around adults and this is stressing me the PROFANITY_TOKEN out to like a max i was like so i'm not gonna sign a five-year contract when i could potentially be putting myself back in the same team room with a dude like that so time to move on it's crazy the power that one person in a leadership position can have i mean i would imagine oh obviously well not obviously but i would assume your background is different than the peers you were working with because it was definitely extreme and trust me we'll talk about it for sure but i bet you weren't the only person having those thoughts even though the backgrounds were different and if you switched that leader out with somebody who was amazing and empowered their people and made right decisions it could have taken let's call it three people who were changing their mind because of that you switch out that leader and that leader could have inspired those three people to become something PROFANITY_TOKEN amazing they could have changed the course of the green berets or they would have you know what
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