aces now hunter was out of money for obvious reasons zombie bet his dad turns out hunter had a high card of a nine not a strong hand so we got joe biden at first it was pretty casual kind of like just a fun joke but it's become a pretty fulfilling full-time job and we can't leave him now i mean he depends on us it's kind of like if you've been feeding a stray cat for a while you can't just stop feeding him because then no one would look after him did you ever see joe read end of quote on the teleprompter see the actions we've taken things have begun to change and the quote jp wrote that thank you i saw it on anchorman and like what i thought it was funny and i never thought joe would actually read it dementia is a bit of a disease you know sometimes the old b gets a little sleepy during international diplomacy talks putting the entire us military at risk due to negligence that's when we have to bust out the adrenaline iv anytime he's doing press or a conference which believe me is not very often we do anything we can to keep him reading off the teleprompter yeah we put unicorn stickers on it stuffed animals around it anything to keep him focused on it it's just not good when he goes off a script it's so stressful we start freaking out we worry he's gonna reveal the whole plan the clinton cartel would not be very happy if that were to happen the number one question we get asked is how do we prep joe for live tv appearances keep him awake for even a few minutes is no small task it starts with enough adderall to keep a family of four lit for a month sometimes we even crush it up and snort it with him you know just to support him or even freebasing it then we get him dosed up with an iv vitamin drip pure adrenaline blood transfusions in mountain dew then he's good for at least five minutes then we gotta re-up the biggest problem we faced in joe's presidency is his propensity to sniff children that's just something he does and we solved that problem with a shot caller some people think it's inhumane but we've got a president to look after we got to do what we got to do you know the whole inflation thing that's jp's fault what i didn't know there'd be a downside to having them print more money for everyone it's got a major downside i'm sorry not all of us have fancy high school degrees and know about things like economics i just thought it'd be a nice thing to do for everyone one of the biggest pr disasters of our whole presidency was the time joe fell up the steps of air force one three times now normally joe isn't on the verge of winning any parkour competitions but he can walk up steps without a problem but that day joe got into the ketamine within NUMBER_TOKEN minutes of finally stumbling onto the plane uncle joe went into a NUMBER_TOKEN-minute k-hole the whole thing was really our fault you know when joe did the whole double mask thing last year we
NO_SEGMENT_TOKEN