what people expected from me and as you would expect naturally something that started out as something i loved to do for fun slowly turned into something i hated now i know hate is a strong word so we'll go ahead and say dislike but i started to dislike photography and youtube and just kind of burn out from it because my motivation had shifted from where it started initially i started picking up a camera because i just wanted to share something that was the reason why i got my first camera in the first place i remember literally saying out loud i want to do what i'm doing with my phone just have the pictures look better and that's actually my motivation with youtube as well when i first started i wanted to make videos that showcased what i was already doing going out with my friends making photos having these photography type days and that is where everything started but naturally like most things with social media growing with my audience growing and getting praise for the things that i was doing my motivation slowly moved away from just doing this because i wanted to do it to doing this because i was getting praise and admiration from it i've talked about this before i don't know where that stems from with me you know it could be something from being a nerdy kid growing up who knows what it is but basically once i started finding success on social media and on youtube my motivation moved from me to getting admiration and doing what y'all wanted to see me do so that you all would like me more you know it literally became an obsession it was i need to edit photos every single day and make sure these edits are going to be the best thing for instagram it's gonna fit in with the trends is my youtube video gonna kind of follow the trends right now peter mckinnon casey neistat it was literally never ending and you know what's funny about this you can definitely find success doing this i mean i got to NUMBER_TOKEN NUMBER_TOKEN followers on instagram NUMBER_TOKEN NUMBER_TOKEN subscribers on youtube all just basically identifying what other people wanted me to do what was popular what was trendy and making videos and content around that and the thing is once you get to those numbers you finally start to realize wait a minute i still don't feel good about all this i thought getting these big numbers NUMBER_TOKEN NUMBER_TOKEN followers was gonna make me like happy or feel validated in some way but it doesn't because your motivation is not in the right place the motivation is all external it's all numbers it's all likes it's all comments it's not internal do i like this thing that i'm making is this thing i'm making making me happy am i proud of it do i feel valuable in what i'm creating and i'm not gonna lie it took me a while to shift my mindset to what makes me feel good creatively now real quick before we continue with this topic i briefly want to thank the sponsor on today's video squarespace because we're talking about projects and creating things that make me feel good my book stops along the way is a project that would not be possible without squarespace this book is probably the first thing that i've ever made where i just made it for me everything in this book is a direct reflection of who i am as an artist and without squarespace it would not be possible squarespace is what i use for my website URL_TOKEN where i
START_SPONSOR_TOKEN now real quick before we continue with this topic i briefly want to thank the sponsor on today's video squarespace because we're talking about projects and creating things that make me feel good my book stops along the way is a project that would not be possible without squarespace this book is probably the first thing that i've ever made where i just made it for me everything in this book is a direct reflection of who i am as an artist and without squarespace it would not be possible squarespace is what i use for my website URL_TOKEN where i END_SPONSOR_TOKEN