step two you have to understand why and i'm not saying you gotta understand like why she left you that's not important you have to understand like why it matters so much to you bro like why is it negatively affecting you and i know on the surface you're like well like there's a cool girl that i wanted to hang out with and i wanted to date now she doesn't want him that sucks and that does suck and it's normal to feel some negative emotions but why are you getting so attached to like needing her back because that PROFANITY_TOKEN happens a lot like if i think back to that first relationship where months afterwards i just needed to have her back right why was that why couldn't i be happy without him well if i'm honest with myself i think it's because i felt like i was more successful of a man if i was dating her and now i looked at myself as a little bit less of a man this would even happen if it was a girl who who i was hanging out with and i wasn't able to hook up with her i'd be pissed about it like why does it matter so much well because if i hooked up with her then i'd feel like more successful man i could tell my friends about it like there's this big danger you start to attach not only your happiness to needing a certain outcome but also your worth as a man and there's a big turning point in my life i remember there's a girl that i dated i don't know a year or two before julia lasted about six months i was really into her and she broke up with me and yes for a couple weeks like it hurt and it sucked but it was the first time that i didn't need to get her back i never contacted her once again afterwards and it's like well how did i get there and thinking back there's three key things i implemented so most importantly i learned to only invest as much into a girl as she was investing into me this is what prevents you from getting excited about a girl who doesn't give a PROFANITY_TOKEN about you so at first if she's sending short text she's taking a few hours to reply well i'm gonna try and set up the date but that's it super low expectations now if she shows up on the date she's starting to send longer text she's texting first sometimes well you know now i can text her a little more too when you meet a new girl don't go telling everyone about it man because on one hand this makes you check yourself so you're not just doing it to get the validation from other people but but on the other hand you're just putting all this pressure on yourself like i need to make this work so that i'm living up to other people's expectations and last you have to have other PROFANITY_TOKEN going on in your life because if all you have to look forward to is hanging out with this girl or going on a date then she breaks up with you or she cancels obviously you're going to be miserable because you have nothing else to do you have talked about this before you have to bake a dope cake girls are just like the little icing design on the top you take it away you still
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