not the point of dnt it's not the point of tabletop games the point is to make decisions to change to move to experience what that's like and if you are being told what to do it takes away magic it takes away the reason you play the game so when you're playing a mental character you have to give them choices you have to give them advice but never tell them what to do and more importantly and this is good advice in general if you're trying to convince somebody of something that they're doing is self-destructive or wrong help them come to that conclusion do not tell them that it is far easier for our brains to comprehend that we may be doing something wrong if we come to that conclusion otherwise we run into something that is a very odd phenomenon in humans where we tend to be told something and be given objective facts that we are wrong and that only causes us to double down more because when you are told something wrong when you are convinced that you are wrong about something it actually activates the same portion of the brain as physical pain and so literally being told and convinced that we are wrong is the same thing as feeling pain now we don't feel a physical sensation but we do have that incredibly unhappy portion of our brains lighting up and activating as of course people want to defend themselves from that it is our nature to defend ourselves from being wrong from being harmed and so we double down in what it is we now know is wrong but we just can't deal with that and so when convincing somebody else that they are wrong about something or they need to change something is far easier for them and more therapeutic to help them come to that conclusion my suggestion is ask their character questions do not tell them anything if they are self-destructive in combat they are a barbarian who's constantly throwing themselves in danger start asking questions why is it that you do that okay i understand it is how you contribute to the party why is it important that you contribute to the party in that way well okay yes you are strong and you are very good at combat i get that but is that the only thing you bring to the table does it bother you that that's the only thing that you bring to the team have you considered the fact that maybe the rest of the party values you for more than just your rage if you consider the fact that we care for you as a person talk to them lead them through questions and let them grapple with things and know that every conversation that you have in character does not have to lead to a conclusion all you need to do is plant the seed of them starting to question and let them grow from there and if you can do that you should be able to play a very entertaining and well-meaning mentor character at your table so go out to the world make it your own beautiful bastards don't forget to have a great day and never forget
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