against taking drugs i understand most people do for those bigger divisions it's a necessity like you have to do it but for bikini i know that i can make it to that pro level being natural it's just gonna take me a little bit more time and i i take pride in that because again i got into this lifestyle because of the health benefits for me i just never thought about doing that because of like the long-term consequences that it may bring if not accompan by like a doctor or like a professional so i always wanted to like stay natural but like if you're doing it in a healthy and safe way then you do you i guess i i just well i i have both experience from both sides but i remember waiting and thinking about how small i was and i was thinking about how i couldn't get that leanness and i remember i wanted to be bigger and i was thinking in my head like i could not freaking wait to find me a drug dealer so i can get on some steroids because i wanted to be the biggest i wanted to be the strongest and i told anyone else if you see me and you see me with big muscles you don't have to worry about asking you don't have to worry about spreading rumors because i am definitely NUMBER_TOKEN on something it's not abuse a lot of times when people talk about doing performance-enhancing things they want to talk about the mlb or the mba or i'm not in any of those things this is self-care for me to take care of my body and for me to love what i'm doing with it so it's not like something where you end up having this situation where you have roy rage or you have someone who's angry all the time a person is an PROFANITY_TOKEN they're an PROFANITY_TOKEN it has nothing to do with what they take so just being real and i respect you being so transparent about it because a lot of them just try to say oh i'm natural like i did this and you can do this too and it's just like no like why are you afraid if you take peds then just say that you do i don't i don't understand the whole taboo around it and i think that needs to shift but if more people talked about it it would be less severe if people were more open about the safety and the care of it some people do abuse it but it's just like when people abuse anything alcohol cocaine drugs anything is just being smart and being educated about it bodybuilding is good for my mental health three two one go
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