in their home country or they're virtually teaching their siblings english or like random so many random things going on in people's lives and yet they're still able to maintain such incredible close meaningful relationships and what i realize is it's not just because of spontaneity it's because they plan their friendship a little bit they say i care about you therefore i'm going to dedicate two times a week to seeing you for a quality time where i'm not on my phone i'm not thinking about anything else i have other friends who at night will dedicate an hour dedicate a whole hour to just replying to people replying to messages to facetiming friends face farming family and that's like part of their routine is this time made for catching up and i think a lot of us do it subconsciously but i think putting it into a system means you're more likely to maintain it the problem wanting to maintain close relationships with people even though you're super busy the task investing in people and my current system currently i color code my google calendar for like social activities versus academic activities versus youtube activities and this just helps me make sure that i'm meeting with people enough my friction is i get so busy that i'm pouring energy into myself so i just don't have the energy to reply to everyone also if i've been on a screen the whole day i just don't want to facetime people i want to see people in person but i don't want to spend more time on a screen friends can also be super busy so it can be hard to align schedules with them and finally different expectations for example different love languages for me i could be thinking i'm expressing a lot of love to my friends because for example i value quality time and words of affirmation but if they value meaningful thoughtful gifts then i can show them just as much love if i pick up their favorite snack on the way to going to see them because to them that is very meaningful in a friendship so i think understanding the people that you want to maintain relationships with it's very useful to maintain my long-term friendships my solution is to schedule calls in advance with my family members anytime i'm walking anywhere or i'm in a cafe or i finish work i'm just gonna always test my family like hey like spontaneously are you free for setting expectations with them that short calls are sometimes easier for me than like really long ones and then if i do a long one i like i'm actually planning more dedicating time on my weekends on my reset days like on a sunday when i'm cleaning the house to cool people i love one system that me and my friends put in this semester was to get a membership to the same co-working space so naturally i see them almost every day that i go there which is like casual interactions which leads to us going for dinner sometimes together or coffee i'm actually quite stuck on this i'm gonna do some research but i'd also love to hear your thoughts on systems for keeping in touch with people for maintaining good friendships relationships family relationships all of this and also your thoughts on systemizing it should it be a system should there be a base level which the system and the rest is just spontaneity as most friendships relationships are hey guys and welcome to the moment of truth so
NO_SEGMENT_TOKEN