like well you're not PROFANITY_TOKEN it like i and i'll take it out on she knows i don't mean it and i try um but for whatever reason she just she takes it and um and it brings it out of you yeah can you describe sort of the various characteristics the the shape of your ptsd the the trauma the how the anger and hate took shape in you in the in the seconds minutes hours months years after and after the full trauma of all the things you've experienced in afghanistan so it's funny because draco asked me something and it made me it's made me i've really been thinking a lot about it and he's like do you think if somebody of a leadership would have just sat you down and said hey burns what you're feeling is okay what you're feeling is normal what you're feeling is what happens when you're in something like this do you think you would be where you are and they said well i thought about it and i'm like you know i don't think i would be because i wouldn't have been medicated out of my mind i wasn't able to process anything because i was just given medication right from the get so for me what happened was once that light switch was off um i was sent back to kandahar to well i once the operation was over we flew back to kandahar like with the brits and then because there was deaths and we lost people on that operation i had to go to the british side for the next i think three or four days and recant word for word why what happened to a british mp who hand wrote statements but we had to do that on repeat to make sure we all had the same story and so nobody shot anybody in the back and so that i don't think is a great way to do that after and after action after action reports happen but i don't think beating a dead horse and having somebody repeat repeat repeat and then just imprint more and more and more i don't i don't know that that is a great way of doing that um and especially from a perspective of what are they uh liability almost like that kind of that perspective as opposed to the full perspective i mean so for for people who don't know uh one is the the over medication and that you had to undergo and then the other is the social isolation in terms of yeah i mean more than what jaco what you just mentioned you also kind of uh mentioned that just being with um with other soldiers you're close with just sitting there in silence and um just sitting in that shared understanding even that in itself communicates like these feelings are normal like you don't have to talk and you were robbed of that as well essentially yeah because i was because i was borrowed i think jacob had a name for us when we get borrowed it was like there was like a i don't know what they call us but it's like when you take a person and you put them in another unit there's a name for it i don't remember what it was you never see those people again but because i was in kandahar the doctors gave me the medication because i i think i was the one who said i don't this isn't
NO_SEGMENT_TOKEN