nerve to tell his players in person he just left a four sentence note on their locker and disappeared in the middle of the night to go accept a gig at arkansas and you know what to his credit he almost managed to stay out of the news there until he got into a motorcycle crash with a staffer that he was actually cheating on his wife with sniveling gudless and somehow still actually coaching uh welcome to the team bobby now for the face of our franchise at quarterback lots of good options here but none can ultimately compare to the pure train wreck appeal of johnny football in his prime in february of NUMBER_TOKEN johnny manziel flamed out of the nfl for what was presumed to be the last time following a number of incidents with the cleveland browns among the highlights were flipping off opposing teams putting on a fake mustache and going by the name billy vegas to go party the night before a game and of course lots and lots of throwing the ball to the wrong team but i'm willing to put all of that behind us in order to immediately hit number one in jersey sales and based on his recent play in the fan controlled football experiment he'll be as fun to watch as ever before but then again what if he gets hurt or maybe is a little hungover on game day well in the spirit of keeping things thoroughly blanketed in drama i'm enlisting aaron rodgers to be our backup quarterback and since i am the gm and the coach we're not pulling johnny unless he physically cannot play no matter how god-awful things get and i wholeheartedly expect aaron to understand and respect that decision we do have to move the ball somehow though so at running back we're going to bring in none other than oj simpson to slice through defenses oj of course is famous for being the only player to ever rush for NUMBER_TOKEN NUMBER_TOKEN yards in a NUMBER_TOKEN game season and also nothing else now we'll need to buy juice a new pair of gloves but once we do he should serve as a solid option out of the backfield as well and since he's already got a great social media presence he should really improve engagement for us in that area take care okay i gotta be honest i'm still not stoked about our firepower offensively so i want to fill the receiving core out with elite talent in order to give this team something resembling a chance first naturally give me NUMBER_TOKEN antonio brown who became a living legend for raider nation after being traded there via the steelers who he had a bit of a falling out with the previous season in fact here's him being introduced to the press in oakland for the very first time i'm here to just be a surge of energy a positivity and a good force a great teammate and uh bring out the best to everyone around me because we all know it's not just about me following this heartwarming sentiment it was all about ab let me just get my list showing up to training camp in a hot air balloon threatening to retire from the nfl because he wasn't allowed to wear his old helmet getting fined for not showing up to camp posting those fines on social media
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