All of my housing troubles started back in XXXX when I realized my now, ex-wife, was not paying the mortgage ; she was instead stashing money to prepare for a divorce. In our divorce, everything was split 50/50, except for the house -- I took that on. I figured I 'd be able to find a way to get out of the hole. I realized this was my first mistake since I was unemployed at the time, but did n't feel like I had any other options besides keeping the house. What followed was the 50/50 split with our kids turned into me having them full time ; this came into affect XXXX. I did n't complain about the new agreement because I did n't feel I had the right to. I wanted to do what was best for my kids & ensure they were cared for. However, this caused more financial strain & debt. It was about this time I tried my XXXX of XXXX loan modifications with US Bank. I completed the requirements & was denied a modification because I was new at my job. Over the next 3 years, 4 others attempts were made to modify the loan -- all failed attempts : payments were lost, returned, or late. Even after all of these failed attempts, I still thought I could manage to reconcile the damage. I was trying to keep things normal for my kids & was working my butt off, leaving myself little to no time to figure out any other options. I also just did n't want to be a failure. Fast forward to XXXX when I started XXXX again for no apparent reason. Debt was rising and mortgage errors were so far out of whack that all I had was a prayer to get caught up. I continued to be stubborn & stay in the house due to positive thinking, much like I still am now. XXXX, I went to the hospital with XXXX & found out I was having a XXXX XXXX. I had always had them, but was n't aware there was anything wrong ; I just thought it was normal. Over the next month I was diagnosed with XXXX. I had all of XXXX off for medical reasons & in the XXXX of that year I put myself through treatment for XXXX. During this time, we were also discovering more about my mental health & how it would continue to affect me. I used to be so XXXX. I 've worked with my XXXX and XXXX ( XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX ) worker to find that routine and structure are very helpful, but I have not yet gotten this completely in order. My XXXX worker helps me sort XXXX. and even getting assistance with these small tasks helps me function better XXXX. So how does this all relate to my housing situation? I learned from my father to not make excuses, be responsible, & handle your own problems because no one else cares about them. Because of my XXXX, I was a reactive person, not a constructive thinker. Even now as I attempt to avoid homelessness, I am still clueless about next steps. I do n't have a plan of where to live, how I 'm going to pay for another house or who to talk to about any of it. I do n't even know if I have room in my head to figure it all out. In sum, this house is home for my kids and me. It 's solid, safe, welcoming & restorative. It 's my chance to break a generational cycle of poor decisions & public assistance/housing. I 've unknowingly followed in my father 's footsteps despite my efforts not to. My kids & I need this house to ensure a better future for us.