Thread: The Asset - Avengers (Moon Struck Fox & Defiant)

The smile on Steve's face made Buck feel comfortable. He didn't know how things were going to turn out but he had a gut feeling, just because of Steve's smile that things were going to be okay. Someday. And it seemed to relieve some pressure he'd been feeling. Another weight had come off of his shoulders as he watched him talk of the past. And just because things were so fucked up he had no idea what was going to happen tomorrow he had a feeling if he stayed with Steve, then it would end up being okay. Bucky shook his head. I couldn't reach you either, he pointed out quietly and swallowed as he thought of that moment. It was one of the only things he could remember clearly from before and of course it was a bad memory. One that even caused Steve a shudder. It wasn't your fault Steve. I got myself out onto that rail. I couldn't reach you and you had no way of knowing you'd survive. And even if you did know. I'd have hit the ground the first so it would have just been a waste of time, cause there was no way of knowing I'd survive it either. And I don't even know what sort of shape I was in when they found me, he said and shrugged a shoulder. He didn't want Steve to feel upset about something which he'd had no control over. The idea of going to places they used to frequent made him wonder if it would work. So much of his time lately had been spent focusing on destroying the people who'd done this to him he didn't know what would happen if they went to Coney Island or to the street they used to live on or anywhere else they'd gone when things were much less confusing. He was curious about the way Steve blushed when he talked about how important he was. But he didn't know just how close they had been. He didn't remember any of those stolen kisses or touches. He didn't know what love felt like anymore and the concept was the most foreign of all. When Steve took his hand once more he looked down once more to look at their skin then looked to Steve's face. I like it when you do that, he commented, glancing at their hands. I like feeling your skin, he mumbled and let his thumb move across Steve's knuckle, watching and trying to understand the sensation he was feeling under his thumb. His hands were so used to the cold metal of weapons or causing pain. This was different and nice. You thought I was dead? he asked, lifting his head to look at Steve. I dragged you out of the water, he said and looked down at their hands again. I dunno why. Letting you drown would have completed the mission but I couldn't let you die. I didn't want you hurt. I'm sorry I ran. But you were breathing and I wasn't ready to face what was going to come after. Your friends and the public and all of that, he shook his head. And Hydra. They were looking for me too. They'd have found me and hurt you if I stayed. Bucky's brows furrowed in confusion when Steve said he was worth the pain and trauma. The words were... they made him feel good but they also sort of made him want to laugh. For so long he'd just been a weapon. A damn good one who did important work but to actually mean something to someone. It made the corners of his mouth turn up just a little bit. Well I'm here now. Again. And everything in me is telling me to keep protecting you, he said offered him a bit of a smile. Technology isn't that hard Stevie thing ju- he stopped when he realized he'd call him Stevie. It had just slipped out and felt natural. Sorry. I... That just slipped out, he said and pulled his hand from Steve's when he felt a dull ache forming in the front of his head and he leaned forward and pressed both palms against his forehead. He squeezed his eyes shut as the pain got more sharp. It always happened like this when he'd remember something. He could hear his voice in his head, he was cold again though. Oh god Stevie, he sighed and his fingers were running through short blonde hair, his back was pressed against something solid and even though it was cold the hard body pressed against his front was giving off heat like a furnace. Lips were moving against his neck and snow was falling, the night was dark and he could see a fire off in the distance. He knew to keep his eyes open, locked in that direction. One hand dropped from the blonde hair moved down to grope his ass, pulling their pelvis' closer harder together. His own head dipped and he nipped at the smooth, defined jaw. When the lips left his neck blue eyes flicked from the camp to Steve's face and he could feel a playful grin spreading upon his face. We got a dangerous mission tomorrow Cap. Jumping on a moving train is kinda crazy so how about we go in a little deeper and pretend we're back in Brooklyn, protected by four walls? Bucky jumped up from the bed and ran his fingers through his hair. The pain was gone as quickly as it showed up. You... we... We weren't just friends, he said and looked at Steve. His eyes moistening with realization at how much he really had lost when he fell. He'd missed out on a life with Steve, even though it would have to be hidden and kept secret. And he'd nearly killed him, twice. The man he'd been in love with. How can I not remember you? he asked, more to himself than anybody as he dropped both hands to his side, feeling a little more defeated even though he'd just remembered something.