Thread: Why RP partners are so UNRELIABLE (a friendly rant about myself)

solitaryman said Anyway, that is my cent and a half...now you can tear up and destroy what I say to rationalize that your agenda is right. At least thank you for allowing me to share my idea, which is what a forum should be about. Click to expand... You actually had me agreeing with you up to this point. I don't know why you have to expect this sort of attack. We're sharing ideas here and kaigen actually illuminated a part of what he was saying that I realized I had been missing, which is why I left it alone. So, I'm here to tell you, your opinion matters and it is insulting to expect attack, not only to those who are sitting here nodding their heads, possibly the very people you expected to come in and attack you, but also to yourself. It is okay to own your opinion without apologies, because you're right and you presented it in a way that is very personal to you without casting judgementexcept this last that you cast upon everyone who might respond and yourself for even stepping forward. hugs I appreciate what you've said. Maybe you don't hear that enough? And if it looked like I was attacking kaigen, I did not mean to come off that way. I am defending the perspective that I have. That's the thing about perspective, when it is challenged we see it as an attack. You see kaigen being attacked by me and others because you share his opinion you put your heart in his basket instead of mine, whereas Tempt and dark both put their hearts in my baskets, seeing kaigen and possibly you now as being the attackers. I come at it from a place of guilt on the extreme side of the scale because of behavior I have exhibited in the past. Once I broke up with that rp partner and started getting my life on track, I realized what I had done to her. Then I had a couple partners myself who liked to play the same games and talking about rejection hurting, it hurts to be called a liar. It hurts for someone who is supposed to have this connection with you, for them to not even trust you, to not give you any leeway to have a bad day or to be tired, to come at you from this place of entitlement and defensiveness. This is the place that I am coming at it from, talking about the connection in its infancy, when we're just starting out, either planning the rp or a couple posts in, nothing is solidified yet. And yet this is the time I feel like people expect the most control, the most truth, despite not offering any for their partner, not waiting and taking a breath. I am constantly painted by the brush of my partners' past failures, their sense of rejection, their expectation for me to victimize them. That is the place I am coming from, where your rejection of ME before I even walk away hurts . What I agree with is communication is key, truth is key. I also agree that the partners who are my friends, who we've made something long and beautiful with, are owed more than the one just starting out. Those are the people that I leave a quick note to. Those are the people that I come back and apologize, offering explanations for why I wasn't able to get to them on my list of things to do. I still offer explanations for the others, still starting out. I'm not saying I don't. What I take issue with is coming back to a note, after only three days of silence, angry and blustering, entitled and off the deep end because I left. No chance for explanation because they've already assumed that I left them and it's just not fair. Despite me rushing home that day and saying, Finally! I can get to this! I cannot wait! . only to be faced with distrust, accusations, and a flood of insecurity. Or how about the people who keep silent and when I send them a note or post, they treat me like a petulant child, Oh? You're back? haughty sniff I thought you'd left. I like the type of relationship where I can come back after days of silence and we can pick up where we left off, joking, updating about our lives, and the story is still there or we're willing to start something fresh. I don't like feeling like I have to come home and send you a note or you'll be mad at me, you'll judge me, you'll write me off because I just don't feel like talking to anyone anymore tonight. I don't like feeling like I am not owed some trust for being your partner, I am not owed some respect because she'll be back. She always comes back. I hope that she is doing alright. So, yes, respect is owed on both sides. Agreed. attack jk for soloman