Thread: The Looking Glass

Current Mood Solicitous I contemplated if I should make a journal or not, but I thought I might as well. What do I have to lose? Friends? Hah. I doubt that. I have none. - Just kidding I might have a few here and there. There are a few things I want to go over in this first journal entry. 1. Past journals. 2. The general direction of this journal. 3. Current roleplay and the partner. 4. An old flame. In the past I have attempted to keep a few journals here and there online. My first one I kept up with for 4 years. It was informative about my feelings and things I were getting into. My second journal was short lived, and was somewhere within those 4 years along side of my other journal. I spoke in poems, riddles and every post was able to be read in under 2 minutes. After my long journal was out grown, I started a new journal that lasted a month and I forgot about it and got busy with a game. Yea, a game. And last but not least, I created a journal just a few years back that talked about when I loved someone that I shouldn't have. I used the journal as an outlet to my feelings and kept it hidden. This new journal, I'm not sure if I will stick with it, but in the meantime, I guess I wish to use it as an outlet. I will try to make every post have a past and a present part to it. I will talk about something from my past that was significant. Then I will talk about what's going on in the present, whether it be about my current roleplay or real life. I don't expect much to come from it. I don't have a unique way of writing, so I doubt I'll capture anyone's undying devotion to reading it, but I'll at least have it here for myself. Moving on to my most prominent part of my life right now... My roleplay! After nearly 6 maybe even 7 years of losing my best friend and best ever roleplay partner, I have found someone that can finally hold a candle to her. We share similar interests and have an agreeance on roleplaying. We don't over power each other's character, we plan out, and continue to plan out details of the roleplay. We both agree that depth and drawn out scenarios are more satisfying then getting straight to the smut. I could go on, but I think I've made my point. Now I just have to learn to control my addiction so I don't get consumed by the roleplay and leave behind my life. . . Lastly, I am going to talk about someone who shared a lot of special moments with me. For a while, I figured things went so sour that they would no longer talk to me. Then as I started browsing BlueMoon for another roleplay partner, I came across a name that was burned into my mind like a scar that wouldn't ever heal. I clicked on the name, and my gut turned and twisted within itself as the face was undeniably the person I thought it might be. For several days I hoped they didn't see me. I creeped about the forums until finally I realized I would reach out. Not because I wanted to rekindle our lost relationship, but because I didn't want him to be upset that I too was on this forum. I didn't want him to get the wrong idea, so I was upfront and let him know I was here and I didn't mean to be a bother. I was surprised to find out he didn't hate me as much as I thought, and he was even willing to make general roleplay small talk. . . It's comforting to know a bridge isn't burned and we can still be friends. Even if it is very very distant, cautious friends.