Thread: Ownership [Minnie & Devilla]

I hadn't expected my innocent, dumb comment to have an immediate effect but it certainly did. It had only been a moment of reluctance, before leaping into the unknown. I'm not sure if I really wanted to leave. As you led me to the door, I felt my fantasy being cut short, being taken from me right when I was getting a first-hand taste of it. When you grab my chin and stare into my eyes, I feel approximately ten years old, those captivating eyes making me feel small and helpless. Your touch, I can feel it on my skin long after you let go of my chin. I'm so stunned by this whole situation though, that I can't find any words, and before I get my lips to work, the door is shut in my face. I stare up at the mansion, fidgeting with my hands, unsure if I'd done the right thing. I contemplated ringing the door bell, and tell you that I'm sorry, that I was wrong, that I didn't know what I was saying. But I don't ring the door, only stand there, lost in my own thoughts, until I hear the driver calling for me. On the way back, I have a bad feeling in my gut, and I feel guilty for having disappointed you. Over the next couple of days, I can barely think about anything else than you. I still don't tell Mark, my boyfriend, and whatever else we talked about, I'm always distant. I can feel that I am, and I can feel that he observes it in me. My mind is off somewhere else. Imagining what I had given up by expressing my doubts. Thinking it was all my fault. I feel terrible. I feel downright depressed. I'm not able to enjoy dinner, the little of it I get down, and I don't feel any sexual attraction towards my boyfriend. We don't have sex, even though he tried to initiate. At work, the next day, I'm also distant, to the customers and to my co-workers. I know they can tell something is wrong. But I can't tell them. I just let it eat me up from inside. The day after that, I feel even worse. I wake in the morning, and I find myself extremely aroused, and I'm wet from some dream I couldn't remember. That morning, I decided, that I couldn't let this go on. I had to go back to you. If for nothing else, I would get some sense of conclusion, and maybe I would be able to put it behind me. With no private driver to pick me up, I call for a cab, once Mark is out of the apartment. I wear the same outfit I wore on the other two days, though now it's all clean. I'm super nervous all the way to your mansion, and I'm not even concerned about the cab bill that turned out much too much. I walk up to the gates, and find them open, so I walk all the way up your driveway, the dark clouds overhead pressing down on me. It's very cold. The wind blows right through my inappropriate outfit, but at the same time, I'm nervous-sweating. It's a very uncomfortable walk. It feels like an hour before I reach the steps of your mansion, though it was more like a handful of minutes. Each step I take, is tinged with a heavy mind. I don't know what's going to happen. Maybe you'll just turn me away again. I wouldn't blame you. I'm worthless, after all. I'm a stupid, worthless little girl, who has no business leeching off your luxury. I don't fit in here. But I crave it. I crave you, and I crave to see what's on the other side of my fantaies the real side of them. When I ring the doorbell, I can almost feel your touch on my chin again, comforting me with your sureness and warmth, while I shuffle nervously outside the grand doorway.