Thread: Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end [1x1 with Javorcek]

The bar at the end of the universe wasn't half bad even by marine standards. There was the high tempo techno music, the smell of cigarettes and alcohol in ever inch of the miserable place. It helped cover over the acidic smell of puke and the musty scent of sweat that lingered in the air itself. She couldn't even see much of the bar aside from the shadowy figures of people, the lights affixed to the ceiling and the darkness that lied ahead. It was a pretty shitty bar in all truths. Classy, thought Shepard as she sat on the wooden bar stool by the bar. It felt like its been a lifetime since she's sat down. The mere thought of it triggered a surge of sadness throughout her frame. Anderson. He told her that he was proud of her. If only she felt that same pride. Everything she's done, every life she'd taken, ever soul she'd saved didn't matter. Would he be here? Or waiting on the shores with Thane and Mordin? Would Legion still think of her as a friend? Oh gods, EDI. Where would those bright souls go? Why me? She asked Admiral Hacket during one of their conferences. Why some kid from a destroyed colony, the butcher of Torfan who had done terrible things in the name of the Alliance? Why not the hero of Elysium? That guy was a shining beacon of hope, a boyscout and in short a true hero. He would have been able to rally the galaxy together, made people believe in him. His answer shocked her. Shepard had no illusions that she wasn't a good person, a ruthless commander and a bit of xenophobe. Yet his words ringed true. She lead a mix matched team to defeat Saren, trained them to become excellent fighters, trusted in aliens to back her up. She made friends with them and even fell in love with one of them. After her first death, she found herself making another crew and finding that she trusted them far more than she did her fellow humans. Even Cerberus trusted in her. They trusted in her to make it right, put millions of credits into her to bring her back, probably violated all the laws of the universe in the process. The people of this galaxy put their trust in Shepard, that she would lead them to victory. Shepard sighed picking up a peanut from the round wooden bowl, cracking it between her fingers and popping the nut into her mouth. It tasted stale, salty and a bit rancid. She discarded the shell onto her napkin. Around her was full of people milling around, talking, drinking. None of them were even looking at her. Hah, even in death she was persona non grata. It wasn't as if she expected anything better. She killed three hundred thousand batarians on the mere chance that it would slow the Reapers down. Garrus would have tried to cheer her up if she ever told him about her doubts, about the heavy burdens that lied on her shoulders. He'd asked her about whether she would kill ten million here, to save twenty million there. She couldn't answer him, simply pushing the question away. She didn't want to face the reality that she had already done such a thing, had already condoned it. Every kindness she did could not stem the tide of blood that swamped her, could not clean the stains on her hands. She could still feel Liara's lips on her own, the vision that they shared before the final push. Hell, she could even hear her voice. It was like whispers in the wind, words caught and tumbled like a leaf. She could hear...voices... even through the loud techno music. Shepard half turned in her seat, turning her head to the side. Fan out! Look for survivors! Weird, that almost sounded like Jack. The convict decided to turn a new leaf and teach for the Alliance. She was good at it too, making sure those kids understood what to do. She cared for them. Jack became a broodmother. That almost got her another punch in the face courtesy of Jack. Not to mention they actually got Jack to stop cussing, now that was a story she would have loved to have listened to. Rodriguez! Make sure that when they're lifting the rubble to be careful. Shit could fall down if we move it wrong! Shepard smirked as she listened to the voices. This was nice. Even if she was dead she could watch over the people she loved. Could she do this consciously? Could she search for Liara? I'm Sorry. Shepard mumbled to the peanuts. It wasn't as if anyone else was watching. The bar itself had actually dimmed the lights and she could barely see around her. I wish I could have been there for you Liara. I wish we could have had babies, little blue kids. She sucked in a breath, pain radiating from her chest. I see someone! It's...It's Shepard! SOMEONE GET OVER HERE! Shepard clenched her fist as the lights continued to dim until it was completely black. She couldn't even hear the music anymore, or feel anything but pain. At least she was still sitting, that was a bonus somehow. Hopefully. She slowly and painfully opened her eyes, her pupils contracting at the sudden light. Around her was rubble, blackened pieces of metal and rock. She could feel the metal poking into her back, the coldness of the ground itself and the smell of ash in the air. She tasted blood as she swallowed, her eyes unfocused. Hey. She mumbled as the world darkened. Warm hands wrapped themselves around her ruined hardsuit pulling her away from the ground. Heh, she might actually get to see those blue babies after all thought Shepard before she fell unconscious, her body cradled protectively in a biotic bubble.