Thread: Rape Scene from my Novel (Please COMMENT)

WARNING This is a very brutal rape scene, that may be traumatic. Rape, Blood, Gore, Bestiality. 18 Only Good Afternoon, Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post. This is a scene from a novel that I have been working. I would love for you to read it. Please give me your feedback because I really want to improve as a writer so any constructive critique would be welcome. Let me know what you liked, what you didn't like and what you think I could improve on. Again this is just a small scene in the whole of my novel. Here is some back story, this is essential set up to be a dreamflashback to the rape the main character sustained which then later turned her into a werewolf Sorry, SPOILER ALERT Two punches of Jungle Juice was all it took to rock a solid buzz to make her warm and fuzzy. Despite the alcohol humming in her system, her faculties were intact. She wasnt swaying or falling over herself like some of her girlfriends who split off in the other direction to their prospective dorms. They had all dressed to the nines for a night of harmless fun. She wore a simple light blue cotton halter dress that shoved her breasts up to the skies and didnt leave a hell of a lot to the imagination with the amount of thigh uncovered. Strappy matching blue sandals with cork wedge donned her feet with a bow ending at her shapely ankles. It had been a wild, carefree night at one of the Fraternities just off campus. She was young, and alive. Dancing with her friends, thumping up and down to some heavy hip hop as cheap beer and pot flowed freely. She flirted and flashed her deep rounded sea-green eyes at the right moments. She turned down a few. Some she had allowed a dance where she pressed her back side to the front of whatever poor soul got the opportunity to bump and grind behind her. She had reveled in the attention. It had been like any other Saturday frat party on campus, until it wasnt. The cork wedges of her shoes made barely any sound as she walked toward her dorm from the party. The semester had just started, meaning August was over and September began. The night was hot, and humid. Her freckle marked flesh was warm and flush both from the temperature and the exertion of dancing. The night sky never got true black in the suburbs, no bright stars or fat full moon illuminated the way. But the asphalt walkway was well light by the rows of antique looking lamp posts. She had walked this wooden path countless times to return to her dorm in previous semesters. She didnt registered the twig being snapped or the sudden lack of insects buzzing around the yellowed lanterns. You shouldnt have turned me down, Lacey. A voice cut through the now silent and empty woodland trail. The alcohol in her system didnt process the threat. The hairs at the back of her neck stood at attention but she waved off her own internal warning system. Tucking her lean arms under chest, one hand clinging to a silver rhinestone clutch she turned to face the voice. The face was familiar. He was tall, well over six feet with the long, lean build of a swimmer. Black eyes were soulless and bore into her like a predator evaluating his meal. Rich blonde hair was trimmed neatly on the side of head with a few spare locks drifting over his forehead. His nose was large and hooked but it fit his high cheek boned face. Its you She replied, attempting at being calm and collected but those warning bells were firing off like rockets. She never got his name. He had been at a couple frat parties in the past and she had seen him around campus. There was always something off, something not right about him. Sure, he was handsome enough but there was something in the way that he stared. He would just look at her as if she was the only one in the room. Normally, that would be flattering but it didnt stop. Even when she had tried to smile politely, he kept staring with those pitiless eyes. He had finally asked her for a dance but she had declined and found another prospect. What are you doing out here? Thought Id go for a stroll Full white teeth flashed a disconcerting smile as his body moved closer with an inhuman fluidity. Okay, well have a good night she replied, planting a fake smile on her face before she turned back on her heel to head towards her dorm. Desperately she tried not to quicken her pace. Leaving? He replied, instantly in front of her. She hadnt heard him move, but then he was merely a foot from her. So soon. He cooed, his thin lips remaining curved in a confident smirk. Yeah, Im kind of tired. I think I will head to bed. Too much dancing! She attempted a laugh to try and cover up the anxiety that was starting to rise. Quickly, brushing past him in hopes he took the hint. You shouldnt have turned me down, Lacey The voice repeated into the night. By the time, she turned around he was on her. Long fingers encircled her throat and the little clutch, now forgotten, fell to the pavement. The black eyes widen in vicious anger as his fingers applied pressure. Air would not come from her lungs to scream. Do you feel this?! He shouted at her, spit flying into her face. Pressed into the soft flesh of her belly was the thick hardened length straining to break free from his black slacks. Terror filled her as his intentions became known. Inside her head, she screamed that this couldnt be happening, it was a nightmare. Wake up, she commanded herself but fear took over as reality sunk in. Do you?! He shouted again, his face inches from her face. Im so-sorry, o-okay? she stuttered through thick tears as her panicked mind tried to reason with him. I didnt me-mean to-to offe-end you. The blow was far faster than anything she could track. A massive closed fist struck out at her jaw in a blinding flash of pain. She careened to the pavement, the bare flesh of her legs and hands scraped against the asphalt. Stars bloomed in her vision as she struggled through consciousness. The thick coppery taste of blood flooded into her mouth. True fear poured in. The deep green eyes widened in horror as he stalked closer while her hand flew to her injured jaw. No...Please. She whispered, fear gripping her voice. Please dont hurt me She continued as tears streamed down her face blurring her vision and sending lines of mascara down her cheeks. The long smooth, eerily hot fingers latched to her chin drawing another hiss of pain from her lips. The raw anger in his eyes had dissipated to be replaced with mild amusement. I like it when you beg. Go on...Please what? Puh...lease...please Her voice broke as his grip tightened on her already damaged jaw. Please let me go. She sniffed, I wont tell anyone about this, o-okay? So like the victim, Lacey He continued with a disappointed tsk tsk sound. First, you tried to reason with me. Then you apologize, then beg. And now you say Oh I wont tell anyone. He continued, mocking her words with his depraved grin on his sickened face. The hand circling her jaw thrust away from him. A heavy knock, bright splotches of color and a searing pain at the back of her head indicated she struck the pavement. Havent you ever seen a movie? He chuckled at his own joke. That never works. A swift kick drove into her side, knocking all wind from her body. She grunted before he grabbed the once neatly flat ironed crimson waves. He twisted the long locks around his hands to yank her face back to his. Wincing against the pain, she could only cry as his joyful smile filled her field of vision. Please she begged to herself, get me out of this, this cant be happening. A final blow to the head, and utter darkness enveloped her in its sweet peaceful embrace. Rough tugging and the sound of cloth ripping echoed in her ear along with the blood pulsing in her skull. The scent of mulch, earth and blood filtered into her nose. There was no light in her surroundings, just darkness. She was somewhere laying on her back surrounded by trees. The pain that raked through her whole body was burning as if her entire being was on fire. Laying perfectly still, a groan slipped from her throat as a wave of anguish took over. Blood matted into her hair, eyes were already starting to swell shut as her sight swarmed in redness. Everything hurt the scrapes on her hands and legs, the pounding of a jack hammer inside her skull and the split bleeding lips. Your awake! He stated happily, as he tore through the lacy pink panties exposing her perfectly waxed womanhood to the dark summer night. The heavy round globes of her breasts were already standing free in the elements. Streaks of dirt marred the supple flesh along with a few scrapes seeping blood. Her nipples were peaked in tight hard pebbles. She was disgusted when one of his hands came up to cup one breast. The matching bra was long gone and the blue cotton dress was torn to shreds beneath. Id hate for you to miss all the fun. The male continued his torture by lifting up the hood of clit to encircle his thump of the small pink bundle of nerves that was hidden. She tried to flinch away and bat at his hands with her weak, useless arms but it only made her try to cough the blood from her mouth. The ribs on her left side were shattered and burned into her as her torso retched. Breathing became an impossible feat. Oh, I wouldnt do that, My Love. He admonished lightly before taking his long massive fingers to her sex. Your ribs are broken. That will hurt. Two of his fingers shoved themselves into her opening before spreading them wide to allow her sex to gape open. You have the prettiest pink pussy, My Lovely Lacey He stated flatly, talking about it as if it was an off-handed comment about what dress she chose to wear that day. The mournful moans came from deep in her chest as she tried to breath. The torturous fingers began to pump into her soft flesh. See? I knew youd like this. He drew his on conclusion as he settled himself between her legs using his free hand to push down on her mound. He delighted in being able to feel in digits thrust into his female through the soft tender flesh of her lower belly. Say it! He demanded. When Lacey said nothing, he shoved a third finger into her canal. Say you like it, Lacey! The tears burned her eyes as she filled with humiliation. I... li-like... it she choked out, covering her eyes with the crook of her arm. If she couldnt see it, maybe the evil wasnt real. The smooth hand applying pressure to her pelvic bone quickly, withdrew to grab a pink nibble and twisted it at unnatural angle to pull it away from her chest. Lacey screamed, her back arched up to try and alleviate some of the pain. It only maybe her ribs dig into her lungs and sunk out what little air she had. You dont cover your face, Lacey! He scolded as if he was telling a puppy not to piddle on the floor. After an eternity his fingers removed themselves and brief relief came. He stood towering over her with a menacing stare. The black eyes locked intently onto hers as he slowly unbuttoned each button on his red dress shirt. A white wife-beater tank top was pulled over his head revealing a muscled chest and sculpted torso. His fair skin was marred by scars, some smooth and some ragged ridges. Kicking off his shoes, he stated Dont worry, My love. It is still not over. We have all the time in the world. When his hands came to the top of his slacks, and the sound of the zipper was like a death march to Laceys ears, fresh tears sprung into her eyes. A sad attempt was made to crawl away but the sadistic laughter cut through the air as she was hauled back by her ankle. She whimpered at the pain from the man-handling. Now Lacey, His malicious disappointed tone returned, Why are you trying to get away? Dont you know how much fun youre going to have? His face changed into a twisted thoughtful expression before recanting his statement Well, fun Im gonna have. Why? She begged, Why are you doing this? Because you are mine, Lacey. And after I am finished, you will always be mine. His cruel smile widened as the slacks were shoved down his muscled thighs and calves to be discarded with the rest of his clothes. He wore no boxers. His cock was like the rest of him, long and lean. It jutted out from his stomach in a sickening fashion that made her want to vomit. Thick vein course over his shaft much like the scars on his torso. His rounded head was already slick and dripping pre-cum onto her thigh. The veined cock had no hesitation, no fore play. It drove into her slit in one fluid, venomous attack. She screamed her pain as it felt like her insides would rupture. A combination of his laughter, the wet sucking sounds of their sexes slapping against each other and her miserable cries drowned out any other sound. The man picked an unrelenting rhythm that her insides could not keep up with. She cried and whimpered as he bent her thighs to her chest to change his angle of penetration. Her clit throbbed and ached from the swelling. It was bruising from the beating. Everything in her was raw down to the very end of her cervix. The arrogant bastard took her cries of pain as pleasure. That's it my Love. You are a wanton slut. My Slut. Say it! Say your my whore! Say how much you love it! He pumped and pounded his cock into her broken shell with a look of glee over his face. All she could manage was a nod as her embarrassment reddened her skin. At one point, during his rutting, his hand came back around her throat. Laceys vision teetered on blackness as oxygen failed to get to her brain. He would release just in time to return the blood flow before quickly applying the pressure to all the vital pieces in her neck. In the heat of his orgasm, as he sputtered and jerked within her, he lost track of how much pressure he applied and she nearly succumbed to the darkness she was longing for. Stay awake, My Love He cooed in her ear, the best part is up next. Lacey was flung over onto her belly, and quickly yanked onto all fours. She could barely stay up from the pain in her head and side. The matted crimson waves clung around her face as her head hung in defeat. A ripple behind her caused a fluid shift which she couldnt identify. She was drained of all emotion was unable to further process the fear. Smooth muscled flesh that had once been pressed against her, was replaced by what she could only describe as soft warm fur. But how was that possible? Something massive loomed over her, far greater than the male could have been. Low rumbles like a distant thunder vibrated behind her. It was a possessive animalistic growl. A whimper fell from her but she was too scared to look behind her. Lacey didnt want to look, she didnt want to see. Something wet, long and slimy slid up between her legs. It jutted out to stroke her inner thighs and prod at her sex as his cum dripped down her legs and onto the earth beneath her. The slimy member lengthened and grew in girth. It came up between her legs to rub against her belly and widen the space between her thighs. Lacey tried to swallow past her dry parched throat still lined with blood but the sudden penetration sliced through all thought. The massive member speared her. The vaginal canal could not sustain something that wide and long. Her muscles didnt flex to accommodate, they tore. Her inner walls didnt stretch, they ruptured. The hardened pelvic bone cracked as the bulbous end of the phallic member shoved its way deeper inside of her. The emerald eyes flew open as she screamed out her agony. he screams and pleas she uttered did nothing to end the suffering. The once manicured French tipped nails dug into the hard-rocky earth, scraping her fingers. She feared if she looked down, she would see the alien form through the flesh of stomach and move around like some parasite. A rush fluid gushed down between her legs, but it wasnt from her own pleasure. Hot, red blood rained down from her center, down her thighs to soak up into the earth. This is it, this is my death she thought, as the tears continued to flow down her cheeks. I will die out here. The hot phallus suddenly grew. The crooked, twisted end blossomed into a hook, digging into her flesh. The broken bone and torn tissue squeezed the rounded root of whatever creature was penetrating her. There was no released, they were locked together almost tied inside of her womb. The last of the strength in her legs gave, and her body went limp. The weakened arms could no longer support her as they crumbled beneath her. The phallus held her throbbing folds to the sky as it stayed locked in place. A bone chilling howl of wolf deafened her from behind. It caused the creature to tremble and vibrate, making her whimper in torment. When would the torture end? Please let it end, no more pain, she thought I want to die, please God let this be over. As quickly as the howl began it ended to be replaced by a large muzzle with countless rows of dripping canines sink into the flesh of her shoulder. Blood spurted from the wound as the phallus still embedded in her broken body twitched and sent scorching jets of semen into her cunt. The beast or man stayed mounted to her until the phallus unlatched itself from her womb and withdrew, leaving her hallow and empty. The once lively curvy form was now a crippled heap of broken bone and torn flesh. She lay in a pool of blood, semen and God only knew what else. Exhaustion set in as there was no energy to move or speak. Darkness edged at her conscious mind like a tease. Please take me she prayed. Before the darkness gave her a blissful reprieve an incredibly large black wolf, taller than any man faded in her sight. There couldnt have been a wolf. A wolf that size did not exist. In the blink of an eye, it easily shifted to the handsome form of the man who attacked her. The cruel and wicked smile played out over his features as he turned to walk away. As she surrendered to the darkness, she convinced herself that her imagination created the beast. Exactly one month later, after she was found by a jogger next day and taken to the emergency room, she awoke in a hospital room with a damaged beyond-repair body. Lacey, finally realized how wrong she was about her imagination. The full moon outside the hospital window called to her.