Thread: descent into madness || bear & cosmos

RE descent into madness Bear cosmos descent into madness size-2 Some time during their interaction the psychiatrist had become the patient and Harley didnt like the change in roles in the least bit because of the fact that he was doing a much better job of breaking her mind apart than she ever had a chance of breaking his. He had seen through her best attempts at keeping her poker face and she couldnt do anything to prevent it. He was talking, almost like he was talking about someone else rather than talking about her, but she knew. There was no mistaking it. There was not even anything that she could say to defend herself, because how could she explain away all of the coincidences that were absolutely true? Her mind was too scrambled to even think straight with all that it was trying to process, from her battling internal selves to body sending mixed signals of sexual desire and fear. He was hitting too close to the truth for her to feel comfortable, and it was a relief when the orderlies finally came for him. Harley maintained her composure until the orderlies had him tranquilized and the door closed behind them. Now that she was in the room by herself it was easier to think, but the air still felt thick and her brain was hard to unscramble. She sighed and leaned forward, letting her forehead hit the table with a soft thunk. Her eyes closed as she did her best to get her composure before she left the room, not quite getting her thoughts back but she was... Better. If nothing else, she looked professional when she left the room, the files gathered in her arms and held against her chest like a sort of shield against conversation. She made only one stop at the main nurses desk to have them clear her schedule before she retreated to the privacy of her office with its locked door. She flipped through his files to the latest page that had been left blank for her own thoughts to be written down, her pen tapping at the paper as she thought over all that they had been over during their time together. For the most part he had been very in the moment but there had been points when he had been lost in memories, fond to him but nightmares for anyone that was of clear mind. Harley sighed, her notes coming towards the end of their encounter, playing it over her mind. Even more than she pictured his body, from the way hed arched his side over to expose more of himself to the way hed moved - slow and deliberate - she could picture his eyes, which were penetrating even when he wasnt looking at her directly, something about them so knowing. He bothered her, not because he was insane but because he was dangerously intelligent. His files didnt need to have the interaction about what was said when she was examining his tattoos, that would reflect that she was making poor decisions and could get her pulled from being his psychiatrist. Though Arkham was corrupt, they had learned the lesson of being careful and playing it safe when it came to the Joker. He was one of their most important and most dangerous patients. And even though she knew that she was already starting to be under his control, she didnt want to be taken from his case. She was questioning her own motives now, her thoughts on how she had approached the situation when she first arrived and towards the end of the meeting. She had gone from being concerned about getting into his head and proving herself to be a good psychiatrist to being directed by her own selfish desires for him. If she continued down this path, what would come of it? Would she one day cross the line that had she had been toeing on just their first visit? It could be so easy for her to just give in to what she was feeling, to let him direct her and let him show her all the fun things they could do together No. She was losing herself to the other half of her mind that was much easier to influence, the part of her that wanted so badly to let go and live as free as he did. That part - the true Harley - didnt want to think of consequences. She wanted to act and truly live her life to the fullest. Up until now she had been doing everything according to a schedule - school, work, pitiful attempts at dating. It was all according to what she had been told she needed to do. But what about what she wanted? She wanted The Joker. Both parts of her mind came reluctantly to that conclusion, not just because her thoughts were still lingering on his words but because even her minds eye was undressing him and because for the first time ever she was put in a peculiar situation - he hadnt even come close to putting his hands on her, hadnt even thought of foreplay, but she was wet. And that fact was something that was hard to deal with. She couldnt concentrate, not on her work at least, and that was another first for her. Harley hadnt ever left work early before, and there was a definite walk of shame feel to her leaving, but there was no point sitting in her office staring at the files that would only keep her thoughts circling around the man that had started the problem. In comparison to Arkham, her home was her sanctuary - a small one-bedroom apartment that was in a quiet neighborhood in Gotham and was mostly devoid of crime. The inside was decorated almost like her office, with minimal things and subtle neutral colors throughout the house. But tonight her sanctuary was not as calming as it normally was, because even with the physical distance put between them, the mans voice was still lingering in her mind. It's hard to concentrate when you're flustered it's a distracting state of mind. A distracting state of mind was all too correct - she couldnt have concentrated on anything if shed tried because her body was aching and her thoughts kept moving back to the same thing. She felt like she was on autopilot, going through the motions of a normal night as she fought to try and find a way back to feeling normal and ignore the fact that she was dying for release. She lasted until she laid down for the night before the ache of want between her thighs turned towards the sharp pains of desire becoming need. There was no excitement as she slid a hand sheepishly into her panties, nothing but raw lust as she slid her fingers into herself, muffling her soft sounds of pleasure with a pillow. Her body reacted with zeal, her hips pushing of their own accord into her own hand, her thumb working to slowly rub her clit as she worked her own fingers in and out of herself. For someone that didnt masturbate often, she found that her body responded to it with eagerness, her orgasm coming all too soon, perhaps because she knew her body better than anyone else, or perhaps because she had forced herself to wait for so long. In the end, she didnt feel the normal satisfaction of having satisfied herself, instead feeling a bit of shame because in the end shed been reduced to a gasping, writhing, self-fucking pile of a woman that had cum all because of a man with no name. She couldnt even look herself in the mirror the next morning as she got ready for work, picking out an outfit that was neutral colors - white shirt, grey cardigan, and grey pencil skirt - all in the sake of appearing like she was unbothered by the previous night. She had even gone to the precaution of taking a cold shower in the morning, washing away the feeling of her shame and clearing her mind of everything from the previous day. She was considerably better as she got to Arkham, resolute in remaining strong against him and his silver tongue today, her hair even pulled back into a bun so that she couldnt use her nervous habits to give herself away. Even then, she had to take a few moments sitting in her office by herself before heading to one of the Interview Rooms, If my patient is awake, Im ready to see him. She kept her voice cool as she spoke, heading back to the dreaded room where she had lost a bit of her pride and learned a bit of herself. Round two of the battle of minds - and this time she hoped to win.colorsize