Thread: Some days, I don't know myself

While there are certain moral obligations to those you care about, the ethical liability ends with negative repercussions of the other's actions. While striving to love and care for an individual, it is not appropriate to shield a significant other from legal ramification from their behavior. To do so would be to involve yourself in a way that you as a lover should not and would compromise yourself as a law abiding citizen. Also, while there is some leniency and a tendency to make excuses for the people we chose to involve ourselves with romantically, the emotional bond should not act a bubble to shield the loved one from the negative reactions to their behavior. Those we love are not flawless and sometimes the best way to deal with them is to treat them as if they were strangers so as to act appropriately and fairly to all involved. In a relationship, the base emotion had for one another is caring. And in that, it would be appropriate to attempt to protect the lover from physical or emotional duress. While a self sacrificing gesture may be a bit over the top for some, the act of say, pushing the significant other towards a mugger with the proclamation of, ??stab them instead,? would undoubtedly be frowned upon and even viewed as unethical. The best course would be to ensure the safety of yourself as well as that of your partner. It would also be typical in a relationship to strive to lessen the discomfort of the one you care about to the best of your ability, by say lessening exposure to nasty in-laws or doing a bit more of the household chores to lower daily hassles. These are things we do out of love that may not be expected, nor always moral obligations, but are appropriate displays of affection and upstanding moral behavior. However, when the significant other in question decides to break the law, it would be unethical to attempt to shield them from the impending ramifications of their actions. Aided and biding a criminal is unethical as well as illegal and would find yourself in trouble with the law as well. Punishment for crimes is in place for a reason, and while you may want to seek to protect your loved one from the duress of serving time, it is beyond you to strive to do so. As an individual, you can disagree with the law and the verdicts and sentences reached, but you cannot undermine it entirely, as you cannot know what is best, nor behave in a manner that is fair when it comes to those you care about. The best course of action would be to allow the law to take it's course, and if your emotional bond is strong enough with that individual that you either aren't dissuaded by the crime, or are willing to wait for proper penitence to be served, to stay by their side. If that bond is not that strong, the ideal would be to move on with your own life and perhaps find someone with a shorter rap sheet. I do not believe that it is an ethical debate as to whether you stay with someone who has committed a crime or not, though there can be certain moral dilemmas involved that are of a separate nature entirely. When it comes to the inter workings of relationships, the favoritism shown to those we care about is hardly an ethical issue in that it is expected. We certainly are likely to show those we love more compassion and allow them more room for short comings. Without this compassion and leniency, the interdependent nature of a relationship becomes extremely difficult at best, and would make cohabitation nigh impossible. And so it is not unfair nor morally wrong to be more likely to forgive your partner for being late when you would perhaps frown upon a stranger or a less known acquaintance running late. We appreciate that those we care about, care about us, and so we give them certain allowances that make it easier to relate to one another, coexist, and be contented with each other in a romantic setting. The ethical issue evolves out of that leniency in the form of excessive forgiveness. Excessive being forgiving or overlooking serious flaws that threaten the well being of yourself or those around you. Staying with a person because you care about them even though they are abusive and strike you is unethical. It is a poor treatment of who you are as a person, and you wrong yourself every moment you allow it to persist. And despite your emotional attachment, even if you strive to free yourself from the relationship, that is not enough. It is a moral obligation you have to report the abuse. The emotions you have should not shield someone that intends to exploit a relationship in such a manner, and if you neglect to report them, while you are not responsible for their actions later on, as you cannot control their behavior quite obviously, you are involved in your negligence. In these situations, the most appropriate manner of handling the relationship deviancy would be to look at it as if the person involved were a stranger. If you would not tolerate the abuse from someone on the streets, you should not be tolerating it within your romantic endeavors. And in the sake of universal ethics, if you would report a stranger, report the loved one for that same damage done to you. The leniency should not dissuade you from seeking the legal ramifications you would in any other situation, and it only serves to hurt yourself and others more in the long run. I can appreciate that there are other emotional values that go into such a decision, and that it is not an easy decision either. I was in an abusive relationship for two years. Three years full of excuses and patience, and what I felt was infinite understanding. All the while I was talked down to, bullied, pushed around, dehumanized and raped. Three years is an indecent amount of time to allow this to happen to yourself. It takes a toll on the body and mind not easily fixed. And by the time I chose to seek a way out, I no longer cared about doing the right thing. I merely wanted out. Not reporting him was an immoral choice, the wrong decision. One that I still regret to this day. While I do not believe this makes me a bad person as a whole, I do feel it speaks volumes about the negative traits in me. It does reflect poorly on me. While doing the right thing would have proved a trial in itself given the often times unethical treatment of the law when it comes to victims of abuse and rape, there is no excuse for my aversion to it but for my own cowardice and emotional weakness. The legal system is in place to protect people as best it can from a wide variety of harm, including domestic abuse. Impeding that system in anyway is to condone that harm to continue, and thus it is immoral. Allowing someone to continue to behave in a manner that is unethical is unethical in it's own right. Reporting abuse is the right thing to do. Allowing the law to take it's course is not only leads to a less stressful life, it's ethical. My final paper for my ethics class. The product of insomnia, poor diet, a lot of stress, and even more self loathing. There is not a day that goes by that I don't blame myself. It doesn't matter if I try to reason with myself, emotions rarely listen to logic, I suppose.