Thread: ugh

RE Lights in the North Nova's drabble Family For Juno. I don't really like this one BUT THERE YOU HAVE IT ---------- It is early March, spring was on the way and Jon was feeling rather complacent. He was closing in on fifty, and though he still harbored fantasies of running for DA in the next ten years he is slowing down. What really surprises him is that he doesnt mind it things are good and peaceful. He has been married for about twenty years, and his daughter technically his step daughter though he never thinks of her this way is married and two weeks ago she had a child of her own. He is now a grandfather. The thought makes him smile as he prepares a late supper for his husband and himself, banishing Ghost the white Irish Wolfhound he bought when Evanna moved out, taking her dogs with her to the living room. Jon can hear his husband moving around in the study above the kitchen, and this also makes him smile. The smell of dinner will lure him out soon enough, and Jon is slicing tomatoes when Evanna walks in through the living room. It bothers him that he didnt hear her come in, but not half as much as it bothers him that shes crying. He does not overreact immediately his poor baby is tired from being up with a brand-new baby and it might just be something small. But when she falls into his arms sobbing he knows it is serious, and he sits her down in one of the table chairs, completely unsurprised to find Brady already hovering in the doorway. His husband seems concerned but unsurprised, and that bothers him as well Jon learned long ago that Brady is not the type to share but in situations like this he really wishes he did. His heart stops and turns to ice when Evanna explains that she and Toby are going to be divorced. They had seemed tense at Christmas and after Fallon's birth, but he had thought it was stress from the baby, just normal jitters. It beats again, slowly and painfully when she explains that Toby is gay, and he has come out of the closet. Jon realizes that Brady knew a second before the blonde says it, and his ears start ringing loudly as his husband begins to explain. Not only did he know that Toby was gay, but it also seems that he knew Toby was in love with Jon. The last part is too much for him, and something within the older man snaps. He wants to hit Brady very badly, not for keeping it from him, but for keeping it from Evanna and letting her get hurt. Jon will not hit him he knows it is not only cowardly but also counterproductive to lash out in anger and he has not done so since he was twenty. There is, however, so much rage in him that something must be done. The table is large, modern and heavy and it serves as a perfect focal point for his anger. The sound it makes when it lands on its side combined with the sound of the plates and glasses and things sitting on it is enough to silence the house. He rose as he overturned it, and Jon now stands panting with his face entirely red. How could you? Jons voice is loud and angry, but it wavers with the breaking of his heart. How could you know and not tell me? Not tell her? Evanna says daddy but he ignores her, he is so furious and hurt that the only thing that makes sense is hurting someone else, and Toby is not there. I knew when I married you that you didnt You didnt trust me enough to tell me everything. I knew that it was like you didnt live in the same fucking universe as everyone else, but this How could you? How could you hurt her like this? Why are you so fucking cold? He slams his fists into his thighs and its only then that he realizes that he is crying. Brady is trying to talk again but Jon doesnt want to hear it, he knows that his husbands words have the ability not only to calm him down but also make Jon forgive him, and he doesnt want to. Not right now. Instead he shouts at the blonde to shut the fuck up, and he pulls his daughter out of the chair, grabbing his coat, wallet, and car keys as he leads her to the garage. If she protests he does not listen, he wants to be out of the house and his misguided protective instincts tell him not to leave Evanna with the genius. He punches the wheel once in the car when he realizes he has forgotten his cellphone, but not again. Jon does not want to deploy the airbags and besides, it just means that Brady will have a harder time contacting him. Evanna is crying again, and he hushes her before backing out of the garage. He takes her to her mothers house, despite any differences he may have had with her over the years he knows that she will keep not only Toby but also Brady away when she hears what has happened. Jon doesnt want any of them near her he wants to protect her, to punish them. Besides, Evanna says that she was watching Fallon while she came to their place. As they drive, he explains that he will not handle the divorce, but his friend Pyp will, free of charge. He will, however, see in the morning what he can do about having it expedited through the usual six-month period of separation. Jon doesnt drive away until Evanna is inside Cynthias house, and it is only then that he feels lost. He winds up at a hotel and spends the rest of the night in the bar, drinking until he is cut off. It is childish but he is angry, and the hotels gym is closed for the night. The next day he charges his assistant with the awkward task of going to his home and picking up a few things. Satin prays that Brady is not home so of course he is. The blonde refuses to let the younger man take the dog and Jon wonders if Brady is punishing him or just wants the company. He tells himself he doesnt care, and for four days he pours himself into work. His only case is a long way off, so he occupies himself by doing the work legal aides are usually tasked with. He refuses to see Brady when he comes on the fifth day, even though Satin mentions that hes wearing the nicest blazer he owns and hes also combed his hair. Normally this is a cue to let his husband barge into his office anyway and for Satin to take a long lunch, but this time is different. Brady is sent away with a sad and helpless shrug from the dark-haired assistant, and Jon later sends him out for a bottle of scotch. The next week he has lunch with Evanna, and even he can see that she is concerned by the fact that he has let his salt and pepper stubble grow into a beard, but he pretends he doesnt. She brings up her father once, but he ignores it, and they make plans to start meeting with the divorce lawyers in a week. Evanna mentions that shed like it if he was living at home by then, but he again pretends not to have heard and instead coos over baby Fallon. A few days later, exactly a week after he came the first time, Brady shows up again. The blonde is obviously tired but not only is he wearing a dress shirt but it seems hes even had a haircut. Satin tries to impress this fact onto Jon who understands the significance of it but the older man only fixes his assistant with a cold stare, telling him again he doesnt care. But he does, and as he listens to Satin send Brady away, Jon cries for the first time since he left home. He begins drinking shortly after, and he is tipsy, but not drunk, at the end of the day. He heads to the hotel and checks out some time after midnight, and he pays the cab driver to drive him around for a while. When they finally stop in front of his house, Jon notices that the lights are off. Which is good because it means his husband is either asleep or not there, and he isnt sure which one hed prefer. Ghost is noisy when Jon walks in, but he soon hushes the giant dog. He finds that he is relieved when he opens the door of their bedroom to see Bradys thin form curled up in their bed. He drops his bags and goes to him, pulling the covers off so he can lay with his head on Bradys chest. They both know he knows his husband is not asleep, and he doesnt pull away when he feels his thin arms wrap shakily around his still-broad shoulders. I thought you might leave me today. After I sent you away the second time. He can feel the cool hardness of both Bradys wedding and engagement rings press on his back, and that comforts him. The blonde starts to say something and Jon silences him by pressing a hand firmly over his mouth. They lay like that for a while, and he is almost lulled to sleep by the sound of his husbands heart beating. Finally he moves his hand away. Dont say anything tonight. Please. For once it seems that his husband will respect his wishes, and he is quiet as Jon pushes up his nightshirt to reveal a thin stomach covered with goose bumps. He kisses his way up Bradys body, pulling both his and the other mans clothing off as he goes. Jon kisses every part of his face but his lips, and soon gently rolls the blonde onto his front. He isnt sure what hes doing but he is fairly certain hes drunk, but that doesnt matter. He needs the familiar rhythm of their lovemaking, like that will repair what has broken between them. Without thinking, he almost pushes into Brady dry, that bitter part of him still wanting to hurt the man. He doesnt, in the end, instead reaching for the bottle of lube he keeps in his nightstand. It wouldnt take away his own hurt, he knows, and the satisfaction would have been fleeting. Brady is as tight as ever, he makes only a few small noises of discomfort when Jon fucks him, and they are soon moving together. The dark-haired older man knows that he is close before Brady is, so he does something he hasnt before. He wants Brady to cum before he does, as if that would break the blonde. So he glides one of his hands up the blondes body, pushing until he can rub one of his over-sensitive nipples gently. Brady reacts violently, squirming hard before orgasming with what sounds like a strangled sob. Jon finishes soon after, and though he pulls out, he lays with his arms wrapped tightly around the blonde. He cries quietly into Bradys long hair until he sleeps, and he sleeps like the dead. In the morning they talk as Jon fixes them breakfast, surprised that the entire kitchen hasnt gone to shit while he was gone. He apologizes before his husband does, not only for the things he said but also for refusing to see him, and for using him the way he did the night before. They hold one another as the food cooks, and Jon fights back tears of relief when Brady assures him that he will not leave him. It takes time, but eventually they get back to where they should be.