Thread: Anne in training (skittish_butterfly & littlerooster)

You kiss my hand, so chivalrous my heart should soar, but my lips feel left out and leave me wanting something more. As you rise and head to the shower, getting ready to spoil me, I sit and feel your absence. We were together so completely for the last 10 or 12 hours, so in synch. I learned about you. We learned about each other, and grew closer, and now I sit and stare at the table, not ready to leave the house yet, to go out into traffic and crowds where society and expectation separate us again. Just having you get up and walk away leaves me feeling just slightly empty. I shake my head at how far off the deep end I am, knowing this is crazy clingy but I can't shake the feeling. So I force myself to sit, to let you shower alone instead of running in there like a clingy little girl who can't be apart from you for a second, the way I feel. I think about last night, how it felt to have you so so deep in me, and I close my eyes, smelling your scent and your breath again in my mind and the feelings rush back. My hand just touches myself lightly, not full out pleasing myself, but exploring how it feels, feeling the desire for you all morning and letting myself touch it and accept how deep it feels. My breath is coming a little quicker and my hips are starting to move even though that wasn't what I meant to do when fortunately your computer beeps and breaks my sexual trance before I go farther than I can stop. My own scent is noticeable as I take my fingers from between my legs and to your mouse, then stop myself and use my other hand so I don't leave any embarrassing shine on your mouse. Another one of your videos. I don't feel mad at all. Not really threatened either by how much it seems to mean to you, most not threatened. I could feel how you reacted to me last night, still feeling it as I touch myself again staring at the new page. It was me you had to have, not the poor girl covered in men's piss. I'm stroking myself again, wanting you but forcing myself not to give in to the ache inside me to just run to you and hold onto you, to make sure you're always more attracted to me and entranced by me than the piss video that brought us to those heights together. I didn't realize doing it but I clicked the video and was watching the first minute of it, stroking myself and thinking of you, thinking of myself on your lap, experiencing it together, how intensely you loved me after that. My stroking hand wants that again from you so badly as I watch another slender girl kneel, again in front of a slightly older, in charge guy. My eyes can't help scanning her face intensely while she looks up and waits for it, stroking myself and trying to see the love in her eyes for the man who is doing this, like the love I feel for you. My legs are moving, and my hips in motion as I can see it, see myself in her eyes, she must love him that much. I can't take it anymore as I hear the shower stop, and I quickly stab at the video to mute it, to stop it. My scent is overpowering and I can feel my face is flushed. I shuffle down the hall, my bare feet taking incredibly small slow steps, like moving to the end of a scary hallway in a horror movie, like I know the great unknown is right there at the end of the hallway, behind that door where you are, and my heart pounds as I still tremble slightly with want. I reach the door and close my eyes. The door opens the same as it does every time I enter the bathroom, even though it feels different. I'm practically undressed and you look so amazing and handsome even in simple jeans and shirt. I still feel like my hips want to move and my fingers want to touch and my lips want to kiss and my arms need to cling so badly, to be part of you, to be essential to you. Why don't you want me like that? It doesn't sound the way I mean it, my insecurity and uncertainty coming out like accusation I don't mean, and I stare at your feet. I mean, I want to mean that much to you Heath.