Thread: The Pleasure Slave (constructive criticism PLEASE)

Re The Pleasure Slave constructive criticism welcome Kalra sat on her bed trying to decide on how to proceed. Since waking he had bellowing for release. That had been two hours ago. She had witnessed him brought into the house, then to her room and had guarded him zealously since. Her father had tried repeatedly to enter her chambers to talk to her new slave, something hed never done before. Shed denied him access. She worried that he had something planned something she would never approve of. Otherwise hed have never made such a purchase, not even for her. Wringing her hands she stood and walked to the door connecting the two rooms. Shaking she placed her hand onto the keypad to open the door. His eyes blazed. He glared at her in all his fury. Sweat rolled down his bare chest to the wide leather belt at his waist. He lunged into the restraints, trying once again to break them, to reach the open door. He hated her for no greater reason than she was the first to open the door. Little Girl, go tell your daddy that I will skin his pig face if he doesnt provide the key to these shackles. If he releases me now I wont kill him, despite his treatment of me. Father doesnt have the keys to your chains. I do. Kalra spoke gently, little more than a whisper. Taal couldnt have been more stunned if she said hed sprouted wings. This Child held the power? What madness is this? He spat through clenched teeth his words clipped and measured, A mere slip of a girl. Does he think I wont use you to gain my freedom? You you dont belong to him. She stammered, seeing his rising anger she continued quickly, He purchased you for me. I dont approve of slavery myself, but I had little choice. I need you. You can help me reach a goal. He blinked. This was unexpected. Continue. I want to have my own home. In this faction, for a girl to have her own home she must marry. Before she can marry she must rid herself of her maiden state. So? Taal was still confused Where do I come into this whole mess? You will rid me of my maiden state. Once that is done and I am in my own home I will release you. It should only take a year. A year! he blurted out I will not remain here for a year. You will secure my ship, I will rid you of your virginity and you can release me tomorrow. I did not say virginity maiden-state includes all carnal knowledge. A woman does not go to a husband without the ability to pleasure him. That will take at least four months, then a betrothal time of no less than six months. Why not just use one of the local men here? Why do you need a slave for all this? Surely one of them would be willing. No, they wouldnt. The only freeman I can bed is my husband. Thus we have Pleasure Slaves to teach the unmarried women and men of the ways of pleasure. He stood silent, stunned speechless something that had never happened to him before a Pleasure Slave!? What guarantee do you have that I will not use you to gain my freedom? Taal questioned casually or that I will not escape from here the moment you release me from this wall to bed you? Kalra took a step back and swallowed. I cannot release you from my fathers home. He would never permit it. My father sees slaves as things, no different from the furniture, if he wishes a slave gone, he will sell them. A slave is not permitted freedom by him. If you ever hurt me or use me as a hostage my father would have you killed, but he would torture you first. As for escape, before your arm and leg restraints are removed you will be sedated and a more permanent collar will be placed on you. It has a sensor in it that will render you incapacitated if you try to leave through this door or that window. He took a long breath he had to keep a level head and learn as much as possible if he wanted to formulate a plan. Pondering the implications of this bit of information he took a moment to study the girl before him. She was young, probably just out of childhood. Short, barely over five foot, slim and willowy, small hips and chest, an impish face with large violet-blue eyes that sparkled and a small turned up nose. She had long auburn hair with highlights of copper, slim hands with fingernails painted and full lips, the bottom one of which she currently was chewing on. Clearly she was not comfortable with his scrutiny. Perhaps she simply expected him to comply. He wondered at her age, to be already worried about a husband and family. How old are you, child? I am not a child. I am sixteen I came of age last month. Kalra answered. She is older than she appears. He thought to himself, Perhaps it is her small stature that makes her seem so young. So, why choose me? Why not one more manageable and willing to cooperate a willing pet. he asked. Even if I did choose one of them, as my slave they would have come with me to my home. I do not wish to have slaves there. And they would never accept freedom. They would be lost, wouldnt know what to do with it. They have been trained since birth to obey, to not think for themselves. They are sweet, pretty, mindless and obedient to a fault. Taals lips twitched holding back a grin. He didnt want to want to like her. But he was beginning to understand her dilemma. You dont think me pretty? You chose an ugly old goat then? No one could ever call you pretty. Handsome, yes, but you are far too rugged to be called pretty. She blushed and looked down then asked What is your name? Taal. He answered And you Little One, do you have a name? Kalra, though as a slave you are not permitted to call me by name, it is far too informal. She instructed. Taal resumed his stiff posture, pulling again at the chains. So what do I call you Child perhaps? He sneered. Mistress is more customary. Now, I must see to your new collar. Would you prefer white or yellow gold? Rendered once again speechless he could only gape at her. Did she actually think he cared one wit about the color of a collar? How about none at all? Taal snarled. Kalra just shook her head as she turned and walked out, closing the door softly behind her.