Thread: What's Within A Heart Of Darkness

RE My Truth, My Apologies, And Other Stuff Well, Valentine's Day is approaching and I have another year of being alone. It wouldn't be so bad except for that they make a holiday to remind me of how lonely I am. It fucking pisses me off about it. Yea, I like being alone. On my days off, I sometimes just stay in my house and play video games. I'll make my usual run to Burger King, say hi to my former coworkers and grab some food to relax. Yea, I'm a fatty, so what? I'll either play video games or sit around watching internet videos, whichever one comes to mind first. I love doing that, but occasionally I want to have someone around. And not my usual friends, those hairy bastards. I'd like a woman in my life. I have female friends, but they either already have a boyfriend or they just aren't interested in dating for the time being. Is it bad the my recent crush is my best friend? We've been friends for a long time, and I've kind of liked her for close to that same amount of time. We've been through a lot together, and we've put up with a lot of each other's shit. For example Me Happy Easter. Her What the fuck is that suppose to mean? You think I go to church? Me No....it's just that it's the holiday and I wanted to make sure you enjoyed your day. Her You fucking idiot. You should think before opening your fat mouth. Yea, we fight a lot, but we get over it pretty quickly. The only problem is that she isn't interested in dating. That and she sees me as a brother. It's painful to hear something like that, especially whenever someone sees us together and thinks that we are dating. Everyone, even our friends, can imagine us dating, just not her. I've liked her for so long, but I'm on the verge of giving up. I haven't really been that interested in any other girls lately. It might be because my past job, and how everyone pissed me off when I worked there. The second a pretty girl did something to annoy me, I didn't want to put up with it. Girls that I can get along with always seem to be already dating someone. Ok, I lied. There are a couple of other girls I am interested in, but like I said before, they are dating someone. Is it bad that I get my hopes up when they have relationship problems? It is, isn't it? I feel so sleazy when I think about it, but I've been lonely. Every time I see them have an argument with their boyfriends, I try to cheer them up and it makes me feel good to know that I was able to lighten up their crappy days. I feel even worse about it because I'm good friends with their boyfriends too. One of them had a birthday recently, and I had to take care of him while he was drunk off his ass. He was talking about another girl that liked him and how he was seriously considering having sex with her. There were multiple things I could've done. I could've encouraged it, having his current girlfriend dump him and I make a move on her. I could've punched him for considering it, but he was drunk off his ass. What I did was look at him and told him that I wasn't going to make decisions for him. I told him to do what he thought was right, but to consider how his girlfriend would feel and think about how much she loves him. I made sure to remind him of that the next day, and from what I heard, he took the next weekend off work and spent it all with his girlfriend. It's great that I can help people with relationships, but when it comes to getting one for myself, it fails miserably. Well, I'm gonna go do stuffs to take my mind off the depressing matter. I hope you all enjoy your Valentine's Day and hopefully it isn't as miserable as mine will be.