Whitzz/544K-RP-Datasets huggingface dataset:
Thread: DESPERATION & DEPRIVATION l [ Iilan l Mina ]

A dim glow of hope flickered in his heart as Roxas snatched the books from his grasp, but as he realized that it wouldn't make a difference in their severed relationship, the light extinguished. Roxas was considerate enough to keep them there to prevent Axel from walking to the other side of the campus, but wouldn't that be better for him ? After all, just a few minutes ago, Roxas gave him the dirtiest glare ever and confessed that he would rather murder than be stuck with him again. What was the point of keeping his textbooks and binders there, then ? I was actually going to do my homework tonight, but I guess you have other plans for me. he shrugged, half of himself not quite believing that he admitted that he would do his schoolwork. Without Roxas to distract him, where was the fun in life ? Axel was a bright kid, but he had the shortest attention span ever. Roxas took up about 99.9 of his life, and the remaining O.O1 were thoughts of sex, but that tiny bit of his brain sort of blended in with his ex-boyfriend, too. What would he do with all of those blank memories ? Now that his assignments were crammed in Roxas's locker and shut from his reach, there was no way he could start on them this evening, anyways. Speaking of evenings, what would he do in the afternoon ? His schedule really worried him, now. Who would play Super Smash Brothers Melee with him ? Who would be there to eat his home-made 'supa mega ultra hot burritos' ? I'll come pick it up tomorrow morning, I guess. he murmured, sounding rather depressed- a tone that Axel normally didn't use. Oh, this ? he asked, momentarily reaching up to gingerly press the bruise along his high cheekbones, I deserved it. Honestly ? He still didn't understand how it was his fault when he vulnerably ended up being manipulated by that bitchy cheerleader. He wanted to leave, but the real Axel was prompting him to do something to bring Roxas back into his arms. After all, he didn't date him for two entire years so that it could end because of a huge misunderstanding ! He didn't care if Roxas believed his excuses anymore. He just wanted him back. In one fluid moment, he wrapped an arm around his ex-lover's waist, tugging his hips forward to attach their lower torsos. As always, his fingers were barely dipping under the waistband of his pants, gingerly probing what was his. Come on, Roxy baby- ... I'm sorry ! You know I love you. I love you more than anyone or anything in this entire world ! If you don't want me to speak to anyone else but you from now on, I'll do that ! Fuck, I'll even tattoo your name onto my dick. he reasoned with a tone of immature desperation, his lips carefully pursing themselves over the tender flesh of his neck. Awww, it's not short ! It's still a post !
Thread: DESPERATION & DEPRIVATION l [ Iilan l Mina ]

Roxas would be lying if he wasn't thinking about who he would now hang out with, now that he and Axel were broken up. He had absolutely no one. Well, he of course had a few friends to count on, but none of them were like his beloved redhead. He and Axel were best friends and knew everything about each other, their favorite things to do, favorite songs, favorite bands, favorite pair of underwear Axel didn't have a favorite pair, he preferred to go commando, but Roxas made him wear underwear every once in awhile. The boy played with the bottom of his shirt as he thought about all the things he and Axel did together and how boring everything would be without him. Hell, even eating wouldn't be fun without Axel, his burritos were killer and Roxas loved them almost as much as he did the redhead, there was no way he could live without them. He looked up to the taller male as he used that seldom used tone, depression. He had only ever heard it once, when Axel accidentally ran over his cat, but he forgave him eventually. It was true, Axel sure as hell did deserve the shiner that he had given him, but still, he couldn't help but feel a bit bad about putting a blemish on the male's handsome face. He was a bit taken back as Axel suddenly pulled him towards him, their waists touching as they had many times before. Before the boy knew it, the other's hand was a bit down his pants and his lips were to his neck, just resting there gently. Axel... He said with a sigh, wrapping his own arms around him, feeling that familiar frame. He couldn't believe that the male would actually do all of that for him and he was actually being serious, Roxas could tell. You don't have to do any of that, just please don't do this. I'm not ready. He squeezed Axel close once before letting his arms drop to his sides. Not yet.
Thread: DESPERATION & DEPRIVATION l [ Iilan l Mina ]

Maybe their time together was really destined to come to an end ... relationships were always like that for Axel. If one thread went loose, the entire cloth unraveled and fell into a heap of jumbled yarn. A mistake was a mistake, and nobody, not even the bitch he slept with, wanted to share the blame with him. That was always the case with Axel. In the midst of every healthy bond, there had to be some kind of misunderstanding that almost made it seem like it was his fault that everything went wrong. He thought Roxas was different, forgiving at least. Not a single individual wanted to believe that he was the victim of this entire ordeal, and that his intentions didn't have anything to do with wanting to fuck her. Even Axel's 'gang' members, or his threatening posse, told him to stop moping around and suck up to the facts. But that was the problem- they weren't facts. For the first time in his life, he actually felt hurt. Physical pain didn't make him learn or realize anything, but emotional suffering did. He lost his support beam, and if Roxas didn't believe him, then who would ? In a few days, he would force himself to completely forget about his best friend and move on to his normal lifestyle of fucking numerous women and men on a daily basis. He wanted to convince himself that the newly acquired freedom from faithfulness would feel amazing, but ... he preferred to be enslaved. Slightly disheartened at Roxas's answer, he pursed his lips together against the blond's neck, slowly withdrawing his head from the kissed flesh. 'Not yet' was a nicer way of saying that he wasn't interested anymore, right ? It was because he pitied him that he decided to toy with the strings of his heart to see how long they would last before it would snap and break in two. You think you're so innocent , Roxas ! he snarled, slamming a fist into the locker next to Roxas's head. It caved in. Like fire, he was easily riled up, and when he became agitated, his emotions were extremely difficult to cradle. I thought you loved me ! After two ... he harshly bit on his lower lip and stopped himself from strangling his ex-lover, ... I spent two years admiring and staring at you and you only. I'm humble enough to admit that I've done some wrong, but you- ... as my boyfriend- my best friend, you couldn't even let me have five fucking seconds to explain myself ! You punched and insulted me in front of the entire school, and went on and on about some cheerleader who drove her fucking knee up my crotch and laughed as she watched me limp away ! Is that what you want from me ? For me to feel miserable ? To be taunted by the whole fucking campus ? He scoffed in disbelief, his fingers unraveling as Axel's knuckles slightly bled from the strong impact with the metal doors. As if losing you wasn't enough to make my heart bleed. he murmured, pushing off of his ex-boyfriend to storm down the hallway. In short, he lost all faith in love and trust now.
Thread: DESPERATION & DEPRIVATION l [ Iilan l Mina ]

Axel couldn't have been more wrong in his assumptions that Roxas was leading him on. He planned to forgive him, he really did, it would just take time for him to get to that point and then eventually get back to where they were. If only Axel had not have gone off the deep end and punched the fucking locker, leaving a rather deep dent in the metal. What the hell did the male mean by thinking he was innocent? Innocent about what? He was confused as hell and having the redhead yell at him didn't help matters at all, it only made him get angry. Did Axel actually think that he wasn't going to give him a chance to explain himself? It was just that he was fucking pissed after hearing he had been cheated on. That left quite a big wound in his heart, like he had been stabbed by his lover and like most people, he covered it up with rage. He wasn't technically angry at Axel, he was angry at his actions and his choices, not to mention the cheerleader who he still had to punch in the gut. He smiled a bit at the thought, that would certainly be fun. He'd never liked that girl anyways, so that was an added bonus. Roxas pulled out his phone and quickly typed out the message, ' How do you think I feel? Do you think I'm actually happy about all of this? I'm not, I'm angry and sad. Don't walk out on us, you haven't lost me, I just need time. I still love you. ' He sent the text message to Axel's cell and slumped against his locker, leaning his head back against it. He didn't want to lose Axel, he wanted it to be sometime in the future so he could forget about all this crap and just be with him. Sadly, time machines had not been invented yet, but as soon as he got home, Roxas was certain he'd start doing the research himself.
Thread: DESPERATION & DEPRIVATION l [ Iilan l Mina ]

The almighty Axel never cried. But he was so close to spilling a few tears right then. Or maybe it was his heart that was doing all the weeping, because all he did was repeatedly pump his hands into fists without caring much about his opened knuckles. It took a whole mess of emotions to actually tick the redhead off, and though his reasons weren't very justified, he was still pissed off because Axel wasn't quite used to being depressed. He preferred being angry instead, because his entire head blacked out instead of stinging with pain. He knew he made poor choices and that he shouldn't have knocked the cheerleader up whether he was unconscious or not, but Axel couldn't help but feel a tinge of betrayal. Of course, Roxas would feel that a lot more than him, but the redhead wasn't used to being pressured with a flurry of feelings. Once he was on edge about something, he tended to drive his frustrations off any cliff until it would crash and burn at the bottom. Now, all he needed was time and a bit of a distraction to think things over and clear his mind off of the weekend's past events. Finding something worthwhile to do wouldn't be easy, but Axel was considering a hot shower or a nap to cool his boiling head. Fucking shit. he growled, gingerly holding his injured hand with the other to examine the cut. It didn't hurt as much as he did inside, but it stung, nonetheless. Just as he was about to turn the corner and follow the thin trail of students walking off of the school campus, he felt his thigh vibrating. Normally, he wouldn't have picked it up, but out of mere curiosity, he angrily flipped open his cellphone and skimmed over the received text message without much thought, gritting his teeth together in towering rage. So now he wanted to play with him ? Give him time ? I still love you ? If his signals weren't so conspicuous, he might have figured that out, but with all of those death glares, verbal threats, and especially that loud and obnoxious announcement of their break-up- ... yeah, he possessed every right to feel used and confused. Roxas couldn't throw and take him back whenever he wanted. Days from now, he would be fucking another woman or man to vent out his anger by the time his blond friend would grant him permission to be together again. Currently, he wasn't in the mood to think or fret about Roxas or anyone else. Maybe tomorrow morning, he would still be muttering his friend's name in his sleep, but right now, his ex-lover was the last person on his mind. His fingers wouldn't cooperate with him to press the correct buttons on his cellphone, so his message came out looking like a bunch of gibberish, but it the overall note was pretty obvious to see, Take all the time you want. He wouldn't have the patience to wait that long, anyways.
Thread: DESPERATION & DEPRIVATION l [ Iilan l Mina ]

As soon as he read Axel's text message, or more like deciphered it, he instantly regretted sending the text message he had before. He knew to leave the man alone whenever he was like this, insanely angry, but he had no right to be, at least not as much as Roxas was. Of course the boy didn't know exactly what to feel any longer. He thought he could take all the time he needed to forgive Axel and the redhead would be there waiting for him all along, but now it seemed like the other male wanted nothing to do with him, mainly because of the things he came up with in his stupid little head. He loved Axel, but sometimes the man jumped to conclusions and he could just kill him for that. The boy ran a hand through his messy locks and sighed, wondering when this would all blow over. He hoped that come tomorrow Axel would be in a better mood and they could talk it all out and go back to being best friends, but that didn't seem likely, sadly. Roxas quickly picked himself and his things up and drove home, collapsing on his full sized bed as more thoughts of his beloved redhead ran through his brain. Mainly he was imagining what he was doing at that moment, hopefully feeling as much regret as Roxas was. Thinking of what Axel was doing only led to more thoughts of the male, imagining their happy moments together once again, all the times they'd done together in this very bed, from watching movies late at night to Axel taking the boy's virginity, or was it in Axel's bed? He couldn't really remember, nor did he want to at the moment, seeing as tears began to form in his eyes and slowly trickle down his gentle cheeks. He quickly grabbed a pillow and held it to him, closing his eyes as he desperately tried to go to sleep, wanting to stop thinking about the male as soon as possible. Fucking Axel. He muttered to himself, his voice a bit shaken.
Thread: DESPERATION & DEPRIVATION l [ Iilan l Mina ]

Was there a reason for him to stay glued to one person now ? Hell, without the pressure of handling a relationship, he was free to fuck whomsoever he wished ! He should have taken the advice of his friends earlier, because if Roxas was truly going to leave him hanging like this, then he would have called someone up to hump his misery out. But honestly, sex wasn't going to feel so orgasmic anymore. And maybe in the future, he might accidentally groan the blond's name and end up being kicked in the crotch for it again. When he entered his one-room apartment, he abandoned his backpack in front of the entrance door and headed straight for the showers. The steam from the water relaxed him, and as his crimson hair fell back over his shoulders and handsomely slicked back to reveal his face, Axel opened those fluorescent green eyes through the shower about halfway. There was something missing about ... everything. Roxas was supposed to be in front of him, naked from head to toe with that adorable smile plastered on his face, a loofah held in his hand to scrub both of them. The pouring water reminded him of their passionate kiss in the rain ... and of so many more memories he didn't want to forget. When he stepped out from the glass stall, he felt a bit shittier than before. Nevertheless, he towel-dried his hair and left it damp and flattened, caring less to style it with gel. There was no point in that as of right now. Dressing into a pair of simple silk black boxers, he stretched out over his bed and moved his full limbs about, grunting. He stared up at the ceiling in hopes that the whiteness of it would eventually lull him to sleep, but the dizziness refused to come. Instead, he turned his head to face the only stuffed animal in his room- a teddy bear he purchased with his own money because the color of its fur resembled Roxas's hair. He affectionately named it 'Roxy', and when he pressed its paw, it repeated Roxas's recorded voice. He reached over and carefully pressed the button embedded in the plush hand, gently closing his eyes in slight regret as he heard the bear shouting ' That's so lame, Axel ! What the hell ? Stop it ! ' His own voice got recorded in that machine, and he could hear how happily both of them were laughing as Axel chased his boyfriend around with that demented teddy bear. He almost smiled. His voice Say it ! Come on ! Must I sit on you to make it come out ? Then Roxas's All right, all right ! I love you ! I love you, Axel ! Then his again Heh, finally ! I love you, too- Ro- Then the recording device disconnected because there was no more memory available. In a way, 'Roxy' was all he had, now. What are you looking at ? he growled at the lifeless object, smacking it upside the head in hatred, I didn't do anything ! Those beady eyes had a way of turning him inside out. And it was all Roxas's fault that he now developed a habit of talking to plushies. But he pressed the button again.
Thread: DESPERATION & DEPRIVATION l [ Iilan l Mina ]

Try as he might, sleep wouldn't come to Roxas. He tried to force himself to sleep, even hitting himself on the head once, but that only brought more pain to the poor boy, pain he didn't want. He opened his eyes and rolled over on his bed, trying to get comfortable, but of course as he rolled over he only saw his picture wall. A wall full of pictures of him and his friends, or just him. The large majority of the wall were pictures of Axel however. Pictures of Axel in his bathing suit at the pool, pictures of Axel at school, pictures of Axel at the park, pictures of Axel at the mall and just countless pictures of the redheaded male, all reminding the blond of memories of him. God hates me. He concluded, continuing to stare at the wall that was practically dedicated to Axel. He couldn't take it anymore, this didn't feel right. At this very moment, if he and Axel were together he'd have just finished giving him his after school blow job, a treat for making it through the day and not failing, or molesting Roxas in the bathroom. It was the simple things like that and what some would consider weird, that made his and Axel's relationship so special and unique. The two understood each other and were perfect together, would he let some stupid cheer leading whore come between that? Certainly not. Roxas grabbed his cell phone again and bit his lip as he pondered calling Axel or not. He was probably punching something at the moment out of anger, seeing as that was what he mostly did when he was this pissed. Axel didn't seem like a meathead at all, but he sure did have qualities like one. He bit his tender lip and thought about calling the male for a good, full five minutes. Questions swam in his brain would Axel even want to talk to him? What happens if Axel didn't want to be with him anymore? Well, he'd just keel over and die. Not being with Axel wasn't an option, not now. Axel was his everything and he wanted him back. Now. He quickly dialed Axel's number and waited rather impatiently for the male to answer. Please pick up, please pick up. He said softly. I'm off to bed darling, I'll post in the early morning! Night!
Thread: DESPERATION & DEPRIVATION l [ Iilan l Mina ]

After a few minutes of sharing a one-sided conversation with Roxy, he literally fell asleep for almost thirty seconds, if that was even possible in a situation as depressing as this ... From pressing his paw too many times, the installed battery went dead, but Axel wasn't conscious to mourn over his speechless teddy bear any longer. After being reassured that Roxas would be happier without him to mess up his life, he was put at a slight rest in his involuntary nap. He dreamed of caressing his top-naked body at night when they weren't quite feeling for sex but rather foreplay, and when Axel thought it would be far more interesting if they tried adding hot wax to the equation. He was a pyromaniac, so his intentions were rather innocent when he surrounded his entire bedroom with lit candles, but Roxas didn't seem to like the suggested kink so much. As expected, Axel repeatedly mumbled his ex-boyfriend's name during his sleep, clutching onto the pillows he never quite used unless Roxas wanted it to muffle his moans. Axel was normally a heavy sleeper, but because his temporary state of slumber was indeed momentary, the vibration of his cellphone caused him to flinch in his sleep. Cracking his eyelids open, he snatched the annoying contraption into his hand and flipped the device open, hesitating whether or not to actually answer Roxas on the other line. How did he know it was Roxas ? Well, he would soon have to change his caller ID from 'Roxy Baby' to 'Person I Don't Know' sometime soon ... and that ringtone needed to leave. He lazily held the cellphone to his cheek, scratching his sturdy stomach as he rolled over onto his back, ... Yeah ? That was all he could say for now. Usually, he greeted him with 'Hey, baby !' or something like 'I know, I know- You called to say you love me !', but situations called for different measures. Maybe Roxas would apologize. Even if he didn't mean it, it would surely help to calm the tempest brewing in his head. Or possibly this was an opportunity for him to admit that he was sorry for being such an ass ! Before you say anything ... he mumbled, squeezing his sore eyes shut, I don't want to argue with you. And ... I didn't mean all of the things I said earlier. Half of it- I don't even remember what I said ... or meant ... It was all just useless rambling that I got so worked up about ... The redhead barely smiled, shielding his eyes with an arm cast over his face, ... I know, I know- did you call to hear my voice ? All right ! Thanks for telling me ! I'm off, too ! Good night !
Thread: DESPERATION & DEPRIVATION l [ Iilan l Mina ]

A few rings later and Axel had finally picked up, causing Roxas to be both happy and a bit scared as to what would happen next. The other male didn't sound too happy, more like he had just been shocked awake by his cell phone going off, which was Roxas' fault, whoops. His doubts and nervousness were washed away by Axel's words though. This was officially the best phone call of his life, Axel had said he didn't mean a single thing he meant earlier, which was great, seeing as what he said really hurt Roxas. The male grabbed the pillow next to him and squeezed it tightly, a sigh of relief coming from his mouth. H-Hey Axel, yeah...I did call to hear you. He said with a sniffle as he sat up and leaned back against the backboard of his bed. I also wanted to say, he took a gulp, preparing for his lengthy apology. That I'm sorry for not like...believing that you were kind of innocent 'cause you were drunk and all and...yeah. I'm also sorry for being so mean and punching you and stuff a-and I'm sorry for not apologizing sooner, but I was really mad. He bit his lip softly as he spoke. I don't want to be apart anymore, life isn't fun without you. That was the truth, he completely hated the last hour or so without the other male. Without Axel there was just no joy, no passion, no excitement and Roxas wanted it all back.