Whitzz/544K-RP-Datasets huggingface dataset:
Thread: CMA: A Ridiculous Free Agents RP (SevenxKawa)

While Stephen had his head turned towards the gate waiting for his monkeys whatever in the hell ??blood monkeys?? were, Alex just stared at him. His sleeping partner had bounced off to the side, so that just left him and his mate Calliou. And Stephen, of course, but thank God the man wasn??t taking his time to have his early morning wank in the garage. All in all, it could be much worse. ??Erotic?? he said stupidly, stubbled jaw hanging open. It wasn??t like this was new behavior for his boss in fact, it was rather old hat and had its own sort of charm. Where all the world was going to hell around him, the old man was just as sexually depraved as he had been the day Alex had first started. That day had netted him a slap on the arse that he had previously thought he would avoid by not playing sports and more insinuations that he was giving reach-arounds to men that he had heard since he was a teenager. ??Monkeys?? the agent added, feeling it was much too early for his boss to expect him to understand his often insane train of thought. Hadn??t some ancient, unattractive woman with too many folds under her chin come and tell them all that sexual harassment was bad? She??d even brought slides and gave a smart little presentation that Stephen had sat with his head in his hand the whole time and stared at her assistant. He hadn??t really enjoyed walking in on the two??Oh. So that??s where he had seen that red dildo before. Alex grimaced, not even bothering to push off the sex toy. ??Isn??t this a little? flat for you?? he asked, crawling out of his bag. For a man who spent his days coming up with new and varied ways to call Alex a homosexual, it was a bit ironic, but really, he didn't as always want to know the details.
Thread: CMA: A Ridiculous Free Agents RP (SevenxKawa)

Stephen was clearly enjoying it far too much as Alex clamoured to his feet, oblivious to the man's traumatic memory of his little tryst with the sensitivity trainer's assistant - Andrea had been such a cute little thing despite the snaggletooth, and her strength had betrayed her size because the CMA director couldn't remember a time he'd been more thoroughly pegged by an attractive woman. It was unfortunate that Alex had come in when he had, because if the pansy had shown up a little sooner he might have gotten a better show and possibly an invite, rather than just witnessing his boss coming on his desk while the five foot Indonesian woman behind him screamed for him to 'take it, Daddy'. Actually I find this rather refreshing, Stephen said, and snapped another shot of Alex trying to get his grounding with his feet caught in the brightly hued sleeping bag, It's about time you got some cock anyways. Speaking of which, Alex, you should maybe spend more time down on those bony knees of yours sucking a little of it if you plan to get any new clients. This would be a reference to the previous night, dear old Charlie Redford's funeral, where they had taken on the perfectly respectable job of nicking the dead fucker's clients, and the one in particular they'd had their eyes on had been the method actor, Richard Rourke, who also happened to be the one client that Alex Taylor had managed to royally piss off. The next time you feel the need to insult a potential client's religion - regardless of how utterly ridiculous it is - do us all a favour and gag yourself with that sleeping bag you're so fond of and go get plowed by something tall, dark, and sizeable. Rourke wants nothing to do with CMA and made a point of letting me know it's because you couldn't swallow down that miserly, thick, sticky wad of pride that you have left. Kiss me before you fuck me, yeah? He looked at his watch then, popped up on his feet once more, and raised his eyebrows, I've got to go, you knobgobbler, but I want him back when you're done with him, he said, gesturing to the shocked sex doll, He's got rear entry, that way you can practise your reacharound technique so you can be courteous the next time you decide to bugger the company. And Alex - A pause, and then he gestured to his own face, separating his fingers in a gesture that mimed out a grin, -smile. he chirped, and headed off.
Thread: CMA: A Ridiculous Free Agents RP (SevenxKawa)

Alex dropped his head and shoved his hands in his jacket, the same one he had to sleep in so he didn??t fucking freeze to death in the damned car. He certainly had a new respect for homeless men once he got back on his feet, he??d be giving every single one who asked him a few quid. No, he wouldn??t but that sounded good in his head. He??d probably still awkwardly pretend he didn??t hear them as he also pretended that he was in a horrible rush somewhere. It wasn??t his fault that he had reacted so poorly. The man had lead a bloody sneak attack on converting him first, the whole Buddhist thing sounded great with all the second goes at things and the lack of guilt from vicars. That??d been fantastic. Then he had to bring up something about one-hundred-something hells and being a hungry ghost and that wasn??t so fantastic. After all, he didn??t really want to leave his kids Laura had sorta kicked him out. That didn??t deserve a absolutely ridiculous, by the way response, did it? Stephen wouldn't care to hear any of this, though, so he kept his mouth shut and accepted the tongue-lashing. Ugh. Bad imagery with his boss. By the time it was over, Alex was looking at the sex toy with eyebrows drawn and a very chin-less sort of frown. Now how in the hell was he going to get this thing deflated without popping it? Didn??t want to piss off Stephen anymore than he was already, after all, and while the man had more sex toys than Alex had shirts, pants, underwear, and jackets, he felt that destroying one of them might be a really good way to rouse his boss?? anger. ??Oh, very nice.? Alex wrinkled his nose at Helen then readjusted the sex toy under his arm. ??You going to introduce us?? ??Yeah, he??s one of Stephen??s.? The curly-haired agent trotted off to his office with inflatable toy in tow like some sort of ancient conqueror taking his new woman back home. ??I figured the least I could do was show him around. Maybe find him some clothes.? ??I like the little hole in the back. Though, I think we both know?? ??Yeah, don??t finish that.? Alex propped the obscene balloon up against his window, grimaced, and then turned it around so he didn??t have to see that useless little shlong. He plopped down in his chair with a sigh. ??I don??t know what I did,? he said, going through his cabinets to find deodorant. Helen pretended to think they??d had this talk, after all then said slowly, ??It might have been getting the Buddhist angry enough to want to clobber you. Ha. How about that.? Alex looked up at her while he shoved the stick up his shirt. ??Yeah, well. You weren??t there. You were too busy getting drunk enough to proclaim atheism to a vicar. All that bloody talk of hell for people that couldn??t stay with their kids. I feel bad enough already.? He dropped the deodorant back into the drawer then pulled out an undershirt, sniffed, then made a face. ??He??d probably have some special hell for grieving women who slept with pitiful cunts then called them a cab.? Alex leaned back in his chair, glanced to the side, and immediately regretted it. ??God damn it, how do you deflate one of those fuckers??
Thread: CMA: A Ridiculous Free Agents RP (SevenxKawa)

CMA was not a workplace for the faint of heart or weak of stomach and Dan was neither as one of the top agents for the company, he had risen in the ranks due to his complete lack of a moral compass and his deeply disturbing, droning monotone that seemed to put otherwise sensible human beings into a state of hypnosis. Regarding ruthlessness, he was only second to the famed Stephen Caudwell, who he viewed as something of a role-model - granted, Dan wasn't as sexually depraved as his boss but he made up for it with his utter lack of empathy or any discernable human emotion. No, instead, Dan moved through his day like a horn-rimmed, sweater-vest wearing robot, unable to understand why his co-workers were such fucking pussies about their problems. As far as Dan was concerned, if his wife divorced him, he would just find someone else to fuck and it would be that simple, he wouldn't spend his time moping about or be forced to sleep in a car at night - of course, Dan had never actually married or even been in a reasonably long-term relationship, so his experience in that realm was fairly limited. There was probably a reason for that. Not that it mattered he was at the top in CMA and that was the important thing. And very occasionally he liked to remind others of this fact, usually by either bringing up their mortality and impending death, or rubbing their current problems in their face. In Alex Taylor's case, this was just a little too easy, but Dan decided that very occasionally it was alright to attack the already lame gazelle, You are one lucky fucker. Dan droned as he stood in the doorway of Alex's office and remained bizarrely unpreturbed by the male sex toy that was sitting in the window given that Dan had spent a great deal of his mentoring time with Stephen, there was a good chance that he would never be disturbed by anything ever again. Some even reasoned that his apprenticeship with Stephen had been the cause of his pod-person-like behaviour, If I was the one in charge here, your ass would have been out the door before you could even pick up your Calliou sleeping bag to keep you warm at night - yes I got the pictures and they were hilarious, he continued, but there was no discernable alteration in his pitch to indicate that he actually thought anything was even remotely funny, If I wasn't sure that you weren't his type I'd say you sucked Caudwell's cock to keep your job, but another fuck up like that and no amount of even the most enthusiastic rimming will keep you here, though you may find yourself doing it anyways just to pay him back for keeping you on the payroll. Shape up or I'll break your shins if you lose us another client. He gave a nod of greeting to Helen, and then headed back where he'd come from.
Thread: CMA: A Ridiculous Free Agents RP (SevenxKawa)

??Um. Should be a knob somewhere.? Helen, however, didn??t get any closer to the blow up doll. ??You could always ask Stephen. I??m sure he??d love to show you.? Alex let his head droop and his shoulders sag, reaching for his phone out of habit to check the pictures of his kids. Helen rolled her eyes, turned, and nearly ran into Dan. That shaggy head popped up from the picture of his kids, his eyebrows drawn a little further into that constant worried look he had on his face these days who was he kidding? He??d had that look nearly every day of his adult life and half the time he was in grammar school. Dan always liked to use sexual metaphors, the robotic deviant, but Alex was never quite sure if he was being symbolic or literal in his speech when he talked about Stephen. After that lovely little speech, during which Alex spent most of his time looking even more disheartened and a tad green, he turned his head to Helen. His former-sort-of-girlfriend grinned. ??Why does everyone around here think I??m sucking cock?? he asked through gritted teeth. Helen gestured to her own lips. ??It??s the lips, I think. Definite fellatio pout.? She couldn??t have looked more pleased as she said that, gave a coy little wave to which Alex responded weakly, then pranced off to her office. ??Yeah, I hope Stephen tells you about his weekend tryst with someone from the funeral,? he called out after her. He also hoped it was sexually depraved, mildly illegal, and involved blood monkeys. The fuck-doll toppled over, falling in slow motion to bounce on its side. Alex puffed out his lips slightly, staring at it. It was going to be one of those days. He felt it. -- Alex managed through the grace of God, frequent bathroom breaks and about three crying fits to avoid his boss that day. Dan knew Stephen best, outside of the Biblical sense, and if he thought Stephen should be angry at him, then, well, he??d best to ? Not apologize. And certainly not kiss as? ugh, strike that image. But at least go return the blow up doll. So that was his reason for heading out across the office to Stephen??s own well-decorated and tasteful office, as long as one kept the black lights out. The place would probably glow like some odd spunk-filled radioactive wasteland if someone dared to bring a black light in. ??Er. Just coming to return this,? he said awkwardly, shoving the door open with Mr. I Can??t Be Assed To Close My Mouth, or, ??Icky?? as he was starting to call him. Not that he was holding any conversations with the blow up doll about how much he loved his kids and hated his job and the fact that he was a shit agent. Never.
Thread: CMA: A Ridiculous Free Agents RP (SevenxKawa)

In general it was a bad idea to walk into a room without knocking, but it was doubly so when it came to walking into a room that even had the remote chance of containing - or recently containing, given that sometimes things got left behind or needed time to sort out what had happened to them before they could get the good sense to leave - Stephen Caudwell. In the director's many years there, countless brains had been destroyed by stepping unannounced into the room that was occasionally and lovingly referred to as 'the dungeon', usually by those who had the good fortune of never seeing anything horrible happen in it, and were thus still capable of laughing about it - but the ones who went distinctly green at the mention of the office were generally those who had recieved a crash course in manners. Yes, they had learned a valuable lesson always knock. And, of course, it was a widely-known rule in CMA that one should never step into Stephen's office at eleven o'clock, even after knocking, because there was a good chance he would just allow a person to come in while he was in the middle of his afternoon toss off. They should know better, after all. So it was really just Alex's good fortune that he stepped into the office while Stephen was doing the most bizarre thing CMA had ever seen him do - that was to say, he was doing absolutely nothing offensive, which was quite possibly a precident. In fact, he seemed absorbed in the papers in front of him for a very long moment before he finally snapped out of it, his eyes rolling up to take in Alex, and then the blow up doll under his arm, Become friends, have you now? Stephen asked, and if he was even remotely angry with Alex, it didn't show in his expression or ring in the warm tone of his voice, I hope you cleaned it, sloppy seconds are awful when they're cold, you know. Well, being inoffensive was hard work.
Thread: CMA: A Ridiculous Free Agents RP (SevenxKawa)

Alex was one of those that didn??t call it the dungeon that had, he figured, seen the worse in the form of his boss bent over a desk right at the end of putting his new sensitivity training to the test. All very modern, the whole letting the woman be in control and all, but Alex was pretty sure that wasn??t what the point of having the presentation was. There was nothing worse he could see, he figured, short of things with legal ramifications that might mean he had to testify in court. But right now, Stephen was actually working, which shouldn??t be so shocking yes, it was near the end of the day and yes, it was a Monday, which did lead to decreased productivity, but this was a place of business, there had to be work done at least some of the time. This was Stephen Caudwell, however, a man whom Alex always figured spent more time whacking off than actually doing work. In fact, Alex was pretty sure that was the definition of a boss, only, you know, less sexual. So that left him standing in the doorway rather awkwardly until Stephen noticed him, as people behind him finished up to go home. At least his current living arrangement had left him with a short commute. Alex was probably helping to bring down the average of how long people spent going from work to home and those improved numbers would make someone somewhere very happy. Just not him. ??No, I didn??t. But I??ll keep that in mind next time I??m, er, at an orgy, I guess.? He propped the sex toy up against one of the walls, trying to touch it in the least erotic way possible. ??Speaking of cold,? he said in a way one might call pleasant if he wasn??t awkwardly positioning a blow up doll. ??What with the winter coming and all, well, you know how parking lots are for sleeping.? He glanced to Stephen, shoved his hands in his pockets, and decided, no, his boss probably didn??t know how parking lots were for sleeping. ??If you??ve still got a free room, I mean, it would be nice not to bribe security to ignore the bum in the car.? Alex gave a hopeful little smile, hoping that somewhere in his boss, under all the sexual appetite, dangerous thoughts, scrupleless business sense, and massive ego was pity. His smile strained.
Thread: CMA: A Ridiculous Free Agents RP (SevenxKawa)

Alex, meanwhile, had a very limited idea of sex and relationships. Helen had been his first big experiment that millennium, and look how bloody well that turned out. No, he??d stay with his happy, boring sex. When he had it. Which had been? counting Helen? three times in the last year. Depression did that to a man, he reasoned, made him as amorous as a limp noodle. Or a much-too-old leek. Or Icky. Well. That was enough flaccid imagery, thank you very much. And no matter what story he told his boss, he certainly hadn??t even go so far as to be fingered before. It just didn??t sit well with him, the whole idea of anal that was an exit, not an entrance though he certainly wasn??t going to let Stephen know he thought that way, no, he didn??t want to end up with the man??s arm around his shoulders as he gave advice. What also didn??t sit well with him was why this man was so charismatic. He was a horrid human being Rourke??s hundred hells probably had a pretty low level for a man who put his pecker in anything that moved and quite a few things that didn??t, if Icky said anything about his hobbies in his car tortured rather loveable, though ineffective agents and left more kids than he knew how to name. But, for some reason, women and clients threw themselves at his feet and Alex was completely unsure how to explain that when he, a fairly decent fellow, couldn??t keep the woman he had and tended to scare off clients Well, not all of them. Some of them liked the crying thing. Alex laughed nervously, which was the only way he really could around his boss. The chief of CMA was a dodgy sort he could swing between a fantastic mood and a very sour ??I??m getting rid of you, you little cunt?? mood in half a beat, all while keeping that same wide smile on his face. Living with him was not something Alex looked forward to a second time. Sure, maybe he had over reacted with the sex toys in the top rack. After all, wasn??t it good that his boss was practicing excellent hygiene? And maybe being startled by the adverts for whores was also a bit much. And the names? He??d heard worse in secondary. But if Dan was to be believed, he wasn't doing well in the keeping his job department, and the last thing Alex needed was to be homeless, familyless, and jobless. ??Oh, of course,? he said, though once he had the key, he didn??t make any move towards the sex toy. He snapped his fingers. ??I was just about to try there. Well, then. I??m just going to be off. Is, er, there anything you wanted for dinner??
Thread: CMA: A Ridiculous Free Agents RP (SevenxKawa)

It was unclear whether Stephen actually recognized the discomfort of the people around him when they were repeatedly forced to recognize the bizarre, Witkin-esque sort of depravity that their boss engaged in on a regular basis, but ultimately the options were either he was actually completely unaware of the disquieted shudders of those around him and was simply incredibly open, or he was privately tickled by the distress it caused them and was thus engaging in further depravity via a sort of psychological sadism. Given that no one was really willing to delve too deeply into Stephen's particular psyche, it was likely to be a question left unanswered - unless, of course, he got a therapist, though he was quite likely to end up doing unspeakable things to anyone who tried to council him. And they would like it. So it was also unclear if Stephen was aware of exactly how uncomfortable the other agent was while standing in his office then - he might have thought that the jittery shifting was due to the fact Alex had either snorted crank or had to widdle - so when he picked up the blow up doll and soundly jammed his fingers into the rear entry one would only be able to speculate if he had done it to make Alex even more distressed. Either way, the doll's shocked expression suddenly seemed to make sense, and the first thing that deflated was the pathetic rubber penis, wilting like a lettuce leaf the misfortune was that the deflation came with sound effects that sounded a great deal like the doll had recently and enthusiastically partaken in a generous helping of Indian food. Stephen, the mature being he was, giggled quietly until the noise finally stopped and the doll became a shamed, wrinkled pile of latex with it's now two-dimensional forehead resting against the side of the desk. With that done, he looked back to Alex, and one eyebrow quirked at the question, followed by a wicked smile that indicated the agent should probably re-think what he had just said, because the expression his boss was wearing made him look as though he should have a fin on top of his head. I'm afraid I'll be home late, darling, Stephen said chipperly, apparently deciding to forgo the innuendo and simply let Alex hear it in the echoing cavern of his own head, Don't wait up for me. he added, even throwing in a cheeky wink before slapping Alex across the rear.
Thread: CMA: A Ridiculous Free Agents RP (SevenxKawa)

Alex thought he had escaped. He was currently digging through his Merc, pulling out the things he would need for a night at Stephen??s. The old car had given up on him no, that wasn??t correct, German autos lasted forever, it was the battery that had died on him some cheap Japanese thing, if he??d gone for the German one it??d still be working, he??d bet so he couldn??t just drive his whole home to his boss?? flat. He??d have to wad up his sleeping bag afraid to sleep on the sheets in Stephen??s spare room without boiling them first, tuck his toiletries away in his jacket, and head for a cab like a man. A homeless man who had reached rock bottom. It was while he was trudging off like said depressed homeless man that his boss caught him, tucking him under his arm in near the same way he had Fireman Sam. Only, you know, he could use his legs. Stephen was rather dashing in his dark green and even Alex had to admit his eyes were lovely, which just made him feel rather dejected. If he had nice eyes and could pull off dashing, Helen would love to shag him every night. Maybe even twice on the weekends. Bloody genetics. Giving the good stuff to a cad like Stephen and the leftovers to a wonderfully kind gentleman like himself. Stepehen??s offer was rather sweet, or, rather, would have been if his boss didn??t launch into his latest sexual exploit. Alex thought this was entirely unfair here he was, tucked under his boss??s arm while he told him about his cock. ??Why don??t you two head to a hotel?? he offered hopefully, letting the older man steer him through the parking lot and into his expensive car. The curly-headed agent had to push aside all sorts of varied and colourful sex toys, only half of which he could recognize a use for, so he could pack his things into the backseat. ??I??m sure it??d be lovely. You could, er, have them clean up whatever mess you made.? Because Alex had the very sudden and very sickening feeling that he??d be left with maid-duty. He didn??t want to touch Stephen??s sticky sheets. ??Er. What exactly did you mean by a ??runner???? Alex asked bravely as he slid into the front seat then immediately yelped as something beneath him started to vibrate. The agent pulled out a rather small dildo and stared at it forlornly. He was doomed.