Thread: A Conversation Between Two Characters (Adapted from Who's On First)

It had been a slow day for Alphonse and Thanatos as the two were sitting down in a bar one afternoon. Thanatos on one hand, sat there at the counter with a nonchalant look on his face, almost as if he had something on his mind when Alphonse came walking into the place, seeing him and then smiled at the black clothed male then meandered inside. You know buddy, Alphonse started out as sat down beside him, making Thanatos look at the red haired male with a great deal of suspicion and annoyance. Honestly, who in their right mind would just come up to him and just sit by him whenever they felt like it? There's more to appreciate in Blistered's mind other than chaos and stuff like that. He said to him. And how do you know that? Thanatos countered, looking at Alphonse in a way that said if he didn't get to the point, he was looking to lop his head off at the shoulders. Easy. Alphonse answered with a shrug of his shoulders. He also appreciates good humor and stuff like that. You should give it a try some time. Besides, you know how he likes good jokes and the things of that sort. Ugh. I know. Some of which are usually ending up as dead baby comedy or something of the sort for me. Thanatos answered with a shake of his head. But then again there are some humorous moments for me. He added as he turned off to the side for a moment with that same blank look in his eyes. At that point, Alphonse's expression soon turned into a look that looked as though it was aiming towards something that would definitely be at his expense, indicated by a impish looking smile on his face. When you say that, I think I got something that I think might be up your alley. Alphonse answered. This better not be one of those those old knock-knock jokes of yours, Alphonse. Thanatos warned as he looked towards the other male and narrowed his eyes at him. Oh of course not. Alphonse answered with the same grin on his face and a wave of his hand. You know how Blistered's been to New York, right? He asked. Yeah. Thanatos replied with an arched brow. What does that have to do with anything? Well, it's important to know people there, just like how we all know each other here. Alphonse answered in a matter-of-factly tone. For example, I used to be a baseball coach at one time. A coach? Thanatos answered, his face indicating that Alphonse wasn't being very honest about something. Of course. I know all the guys on the team. Some of them have pretty funny names, some even weirder than ours. Alphonse answered. Stranger names than our own? For all intents and purposes Alphonse, there's a demon around here that calls himself Dead. Thanatos pointed out all while keeping his temper down, half wanting Alphonse to get to the point already. Yeah, I know that. But these guys I know have strange names, almost like pet names and stuff like that. Like Dizzy Dean, his brother Daffy and his French cousin. Alphonse explained. And his name is? Thanatos asked. Goof. Alphonse answered, now seeing that he had him reeled in. Goof Dean. Thanatos retorted with a nod of his head. Well then, explain to me who's on the team, then. That's easy. We have who's on first, what's on second and I don't know at third. Alphonse spoke, seeing that the bait was ready to be used. Thanatos blinked for a moment then turned to Alphonse with a confused look. That's what I want to know. He answered, his patience already starting to become stretched. I said, Who's on first, What's on second and I Don't Know is on third. Alphonse answered. Hold on a minute. Thanatos piped up before leaning in with a hand raised as well as an eyebrow. You're the manager, right? Sure, I am. But you also said you're the coach too, correct? That's right. But you don't know who's on your team? Well, I should! Then who's on first? Yes. I meant your first baseman. Exactly. Who? Yes! What? No, What's on second. Thanatos paused for a moment before blinking his eyes at Alphonse who only seemed to sit there with a straight face despite he was wanting to burst out laughing at him. Let's start again. Thanatos said after shaking his head and putting his face into his hand. Now tell me the name of the guy on first base. He added. Who. Alphonse replied, stating it as if it were fact. The name of the guy on first base. Who is it? Thanatos answered, getting a little irate with him. Exactly. Alphonse answered, drawing another pause from Thanatos who at this point was wanting to get off the subject and turn to another topic. Look, you got a first baseman, right? Thanatos eventually asked. Correct. Alphonse answered. And who's playing first? Exactly. So when you sign the checks, who gets the money? Every dollar. Look, all I'm trying to figure out here Alphonse, is who is on first. That's it. Who gets the money? He does. Every penny of every dollar. Sometimes, his wife comes down to collect it. Whose wife? Thanatos answered, his patience beginning to wear thin. Yes. Alphonse countered, stating it plainly and clearly, which would cause Thanatos to go silent once again, but not before slapping a hand over his face with a growl. All I'm trying to figure out here is who is on first? Thanatos started again, this time getting more annoyed with this whole conversation. What is his name? He demanded outright. No, that's the second baseman. Alphonse shot back, causing Thanatos to raise his hands upward and look away from him with an exasperated look in his eyes. One base at a goddamn time! Thanatos finally said with a rough sigh. Then don't change the players around! Alphonse shot back with a smile on his face and shrugged his shoulders. I'm not, dammit! Thanatos retorted as he slapped his hands down on the counter and looked at Alphonse with a clearly irritated look. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Take a chill pill, man. Alphonse soon offered, holding his hands out to him and lowered them down easily. I'm only asking you. Now who is on first base? Thanatos asked. Exactly. Ugh! Alright! Thanatos finally let out a groan and plopped his head down on the counter in an aggravated way. OK then. Alphonse answered with a twisted smile on his face, once again nearing the point of exploding with laughter. After a little bit of thought and trying to ease his weary mind, Thanatos eventually shook his head quickly to clear the confusion out of it before looking at Alphonse again who only now looked at him with a straight face. Alright, the name of the first baseman is what? What is it? He demanded again. No, that's the guy on second. I'm not asking you who's on second - No, Who's on first. I don't know! No, he's on third. Waitwaitwait. Thanatos stopped and shook his hands out from side to side. How did I get to third? Well, you said his name. Alphonse answered, still trying his hardest to keep a straight face. If I said the third baseman's name, then who did I say was playing on third? No, Who plays first. What's on first? No, What plays second. I don't know! Thanatos cried again, looking completely and hopelessly lost. Actually, he plays third. Alphonse answered, looking at Thanatos with the same straight face as before. OH FUCK HERE I AM AT THIRD AGAIN!!! Thanatos blurted out after digging his fingers into his hair, nearly ready to rip it all out at the roots then vigorously scratched at his scalp with an irritated look. But once again, he had to remain calm and relaxed just so he could get Alphonse to get to the point once and for all, he hoped. Alright, let's stay on third and don't you dare go off of it, alright? He eventually spoke, pointing a finger at Alphonse with a deeply rooted frown on his face. Fair enough. Alphonse answered with a sagely looking nod of his head, nearly bursting out with laughter at Thanatos's rage. OK then. Thanatos said calmly as he looked at Alphonse dead in the eye and took a deep breath. Now who is playing third base? He asked in a much more calm tone of voice. Alphonse simply blinked at him before shaking his head as if he was acting like he didn't know what Thanatos was talking about. Why are you so insistent on putting Who at third? He asked. Wait, what? Thanatos countered, looking at Alphonse oddly. What am I putting on third? He asked. No, What's on second. Alphonse spoke again, pointing at Thanatos once again. I don't know! Thanatos countered, nearly ready to roar it out at him. THIRD BASE! They both shouted in unison, which in turn made Thanatos shake his head in a nearly delirious fit of anger, but decided on changing the topic once again. Alright look, you got an outfield, correct? He asked. Sure do. Alphonse answered. What do you wanna know about them? The left fielder's name. Thanatos answered. Why. I'm asking you. Well, I'm telling you. Then tell me for the love of god who's playing at left! No, Who's on first. I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT...!!! Thanatos screamed out furiously before rising out of his seat sharply, nearly ready to rip out Alphonse's lungs with his bare hands. Look! Let's stay out of the goddamned infield, OK?! He continued, forcing himself to calm down once again, despite he was nearly hyperventilating with anger. Now, tell me - AGAIN - what is the name of the guy that's playing at left. No, What's on second. Alphonse countered as he brought a hand up to his mouthto try and cover his lips from forming them into a big grin. I'm NOT ASKING WHO'S ON SECOND!!! Thanatos roared again. Who's on first! Alphonse countered quickly. I DON'T KNOW!!! Thanatos shouted again. THIRD BASE!!! They both chimed in again. By now, Thanatos was getting more and more irate with Alphonse with every second this conversation wore on. Once again, Thanatos had to change the topic. Something that didn't involve the infield or outfield for a change. Alright look, Thanatos began. You have a pitcher on the squad, right? Yeah. Alphonse answered, still trying everything he could to not laugh at Thanatos's expense. Then give me the pitcher's name. Thanatos demanded. Tomorrow. Alphonse answered again. Stop, stop, stop. Thanatos spouted as he held his hands out to Alphonse, waving them and shaking his head with his eyes closed and his brows furrowed. You're not telling me today? He asked. I'm telling you here and now. Alphonse answered with a shrug of his shoulders and shake of his head in return. Then tell me. Tomorrow! What time? What time what? What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who in the hell is pitching, dammit! Look, Who isn't pitch - ... By now, Thanatos leaned in really close, shoving his forehead into Alphonse's and glaring at him in a way that looked as though he had some bad intentions for him. I swear to god, I'll rip your jugular out if you don't tell me who's on first.