Thread: The Pleasure Slave (constructive criticism PLEASE)

Re The Pleasure Slave constructive criticism welcome He awoke on the bed. Soft, plush and amazingly comfortable, just like one he himself would purchase. And to think hed been so determined not to like it knowing what she expected from him there. He now wore a soft, lightweight, white outfit pants and vest open at the chest, with a dark green belt wrapped around his hips. It was also very comfortable, but he disliked it since the house slaves all wore similar outfits. The main difference besides the colors was that he sported metal cuffs on his wrists and ankles. The cuffs had small loops for chains to be quickly attached. Apparently the young mistress didnt trust him. Food and drink was laid out on a table near the bed containing fruit, meat, yogurt, bread, wine and water. He first took a long drink of the water his mouth and throat had been parched. This brought his mind to a more pressing problem. He went to the small door and found a very spacious alcove with all the normal necessities plus large marble tub with ample room for him to stretch out in and relax. With his immediate needs taken care of he took a better look at the room. On the wall connecting to Kalras room, there was a single large size mirror. The four poster bed in the center of the room was large, plush, covered with dark blue silk sheets and soft blankets. On each of the corners of the bed a thick metal posts rose from floor to ceiling. Next to the bed, a side table, now empty of food. The one large window, framed by more dark blue silk, was letting in ample light. The silk could be loosed to create curtains. The walls and floor were of a light gray marble. Each wall had two lamps, which could be turned on by touch to the desired brightness. All in all it was a very nice room, but still a cage. Looking around for something to occupy himself with he was disappointed. Nothing! There was nothing to read, no music to listen to or games to play. So the little wench wasnt going to kill him outright. No, shed kill him with boredom. Just great! Taal went to the window and pulled the curtains closed. He felt a slight tingling under the leather collar. A warning letting him know not to go any closer to the window. Curiosity piqued, he went to the door leading to Kalras room. Yep tingling. Sighing, he lay back down on the bed and closed his eyes. Kalra stood in her room and looked through the one-way mirror. She had observed Taal take in his new surroundings. She could tell he was bored but until he proved that he would behave, she really couldnt give him anything to do. Extras were privileges for slaves. As part of his taming, she would have to wait until he asked her politely for something to do. She wanted to tame him, not break him. She wanted him to retain some measure of freedom. Kalra realized that since he would be with her for a year, he would have to be civil and learn at least some measure of what he could and could not do. He had to understand that he was dependent on her. As he learned, she would give him more privileges. What she hadnt told him was that there were additional sensors in the posts of his bed. By activating them in her room, she could enter his room without fear of him attacking her. It would give him a warning before incapacitating him. She would also tell him to remain on the bed before she entered the room, giving him an additional warning. When she was certain he slept, Kalra slipped quietly into his room and placed more food onto the table, then slipped back out to join her parents for supper. Kalra opened a small aperture in the door so she could speak with Taal. She knew he was now awake and had finished his supper. He now sat on the bed looking very bored. Taal, She spoke lightly, I am going to enter the room. Remain on the bed you will be incapacitated if you do not. His did not look amused. He realized the bed was a prison, that there were sensors in it as well. A swift jerk of his head was all he gave to indicate he understood. Kalra entered the room. Remove your vest. His look was thunderous. Kalra repeated the order. He didnt move. Very well, remain there until you do. She turned around and walked out. When she reached her room, she looked into the mirror he was lying sprawled out on the bed unconscious.