Thread: Viola's Personal/Roleplay Journal

RE Viola's Journal My Story August 08, 2011 The other day I was watching TV and heard a quote, Everyone has a story they want to tell. Why did I think about it so deeply? I have no idea. But, it made me think, what would my story be? My story would be a story I never been able to tell anyone. Not even one soul. Why would I post it on here then? Why the hell not? I want to tell someone... anyone. I am a submissive as I said above. Would you believe me if I said I always knew? Even at a younger age, I knew I had a sexual appetite. I also had a fascination with rape ever since I figured out what it was, but I quickly learned it wasn't rape I liked. But more the force, I wanted to be completely helpless. I was deeply embarrassed by my fetishes but I always found cures online. That was when I discovered Ms. If I talked to my friends about it, they thought I was crazy. They thought I was sick, gross, twisted, a pervert. So I learned to keep it from myself. I later found out that one of the dominate roleplayers actually was the same age as me and lived in the same state. We talked on the phone and online for about a year and decided to finally meet. Probably one the the best and worse things I have done in my life. I met him and we instantly kicked it off. After a few days of meeting he came to me with a collar. I was so flushed and embarrassed I couldn't even put it on me. So he did it, and sealed the promise with a kiss. That day I gave him all of me. I treated him with the utmost respect and love. And I received the same. I will never forget the lust and passion I felt. With even a slight pull of my collar or even just to whisper, Master sent a breathtaking chill down my spine. I wanted it and I needed it. This was the time when I realized what I really was. What I truly longed for. I had never felt so alive in my life. After realizing this, I did non-stop research on Ms and BDSM. I was growing obsessive it was the only thing I could think about. I wanted to live with him and be his slave. I always hated the word slave... especially when you willingly submit. But of course if everything worked out, it would be too perfect. As time went by, we were talking about more serious things in our relationship. Like living together, what to tell our parents we were both over 18 during this time, and he always gave me the answers I wanted. They seemed true and faithful. And he was my Master, so I trusted him completely. Well I guess I trusted him too much, after about six months in our relationship, I started to get pushed away. Of course being a submissive I blamed myself, I figured maybe I did something to upset my Master. But I wasn't one to make mistakes when it came to my Master's orders. Of course we still had our slight vanilla relationship and he claimed that was what he was worried about. Our future careers supposedly wouldn't mesh, and something about us not liking the same music or something. Bottom line a bunch of bullshit. I knew it, I might be a submissive but I was FAR from stupid. So he basically broke up with me. He left me with zero closure and completely broken. I really wish he would of ended it suddenly than dragging it out. I later found out I was replaced by a new girl... a new submissive.... It was such a slap in the face, I couldn't believe it. I didn't do anything wrong! Things with this girl ended quickly. Very quickly. Turned out she wasn't a real submissive. Maybe she thought she was one or was just doing it for fun. But I was living it for the lifestyle. Few years went by I still miss the feeling he gave me. I never been able to have that feeling again with anyone. The only thing I can thank him for showing me my other side. But because of situations in my life, I can no longer feed my other side. That is why I am so grateful for roleplay. It may not be the same but it definitively helps. So since he roleplayed you never know he could be on bluemoon. So if you are reading this The collar you gave me is in the river. -Viola