Thread: Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc.

Re Chaos Theory Causing Hahvoc. Summer of Love, Year of Bliss, and Summer of Heartache and Heartbreak The World Ends and Begins Again. His name was Blaine and it was crush at first sight. He was the cutest boy I had ever seen. I had been sitting on the couch when he walked through the door way that lead into the living room and kitchen, and I felt my heart thump so hard in my chest that my breath had stopped. He was gorgeous. And I had thought about not going! Something inside of me told me to talk to him, to get to know him, to learn all I could about it. I was never so bold before as to actually try, but something urged me to reach out to him somehow. I waited for opportunities but none seemed to appear. We had little tidbits of conversation, but nothing to really connect on just yet. But then I heard him mention a band I loved that none of my other friends like, guys included. He was the first. I was so elated to find a way to connect with him in a deeper way music. He told me about a concert that he was gonna go to and I couldn??t help but ask if he could take me to it. He said he would and I couldn??t keep the smile from my face. So we got a little closer, sitting a little bit nearer on the couch and I took his iPod to check out his music, finding so many bands that I liked. It was amazing that he liked the same music as me, almost unheard of in my group. I couldn??t keep it to myself. I told my friend Casey, the center and birthday girl of the party, about how I liked Blaine. She told me to take it slow, ask him on a date first before asking him out since a lot of girls usually ended up liking him and he already liked another girl but she was dating someone. She wasn??t trying to deter me for her own gain she was trying to keep me from getting hurt. And I had taken it slow, like she had said. But things weren??t to go slow. We got closer as the night wore on, staying up late and eventually kissing. God, the kiss was like someone had thrown a fire on my skin, just burning me right down to my toes. It had been so simple, but so good. And more soon followed. I asked him out on a date, something simple, like the movies, and he had agreed. And then my friend Squiggs aka Sarah, had changed the date into so much more. She had heard us kissing and couldn??t take it anymore. She had sat up from the pullout couch and said, ??Hey! Boyfriend and girlfriend over there! Enough, will ya?? And that??s how it all changed. I still remember the look on his face as he looked down at me with this secret smile as he asked me if I would like the title of his girlfriend, to which I replied, ??Only if you??ll accept boyfriend.? And the deal was sealed with a kiss. We stayed up all night just talking and snuggling, because he didn??t want to sleep and wouldn??t let me either, for which we paid for in the morning. He ended up having to go to work and I was so tired that I left a little while after him and passed out the minute my head touched my pillow. But I was so giddy with joy, that I slept straight through for a good couple hours. I couldn??t wait to tell my mother the news. She was skeptical at first, but soon she accepted it and I was overjoyed at having a boyfriend. It was like Christmas for me, and I was bubbly for days. We hung out almost every day that week, almost every day basically, and I couldn??t have been happier. He told me I was beautiful all the time, and that I was the greatest thing in his life. And I felt the same. But I had to wonder, was this what good relationships were? I had thought what Mike and I had had was normal, this was?this was incredible. Was I really supposed to be this happy all the time? But for a moment, I thought it would all end. We talked about cheating how neither of us would ever do it nor did we support it under any circumstances. And then I went inside with him only to get yelled at by my mother for being late, by four minutes. FOUR MINUTES and I got reamed in front of my boyfriend. And to make it all worse, the phone decoration I had broke in half. I had gotten it for Christmas from a good friend of mine and it had meant so much to me that I couldn??t help myself from crying. We went into my room and I curled up in his lap as I spilled my guts about my past, how I had attempted to kill myself. All of it. I told him everything except what my cousin did to me and just waited, telling him it was okay if he left, that he didn??t deserve a girlfriend who would cry like this with a littered past. And his eyes got glassy as he looked at me, like he was going to cry. We had only been together two weeks and I thought that I was asking too much and that he was gonna leave. But he held me so tight and so close, like he never wanted to leave and whispered, ??If I could say I love you and truly mean it, I would. But I care about you so much that I wanna be sure. I??m not gonna leave. Not now and not ever.? It was the most amazing and comforting thing anyone had ever said. And for once, I believed that someone, he, actually meant what he said. The next two weeks flew by and soon it was our one month anniversary. We had gone to the concert and had a blast the week before, and on our anniversary, we simply hung out. But I realized something that day. We were sitting on my couch and he was resting his head in my lap and I was just stroking his hair as we sat in the gentle silence. I looked down and just knew then and there that I loved him. I truly did, but I wasn??t sure if then was the best time to say it, so I kept it to myself. We went out to dinner and then went back to his place and curled up in his bed and just watched TV, cuddling close. It was perfect just the best day ever. Suddenly, he sat up and looked down at me and said, ??You remember two weeks ago when I told you that if I could have said I love you and meant it, that I would have.? The butterflies started up as I looked up at him, wondering where this is going. He just smiled brightly as he said, ??Well, I love you, Shayla.? And I just laughed and pulled him close for a kiss as I told him I loved him as well. My heart swelled with joy, so full I thought I would burst from so much emotion. It was the best day of my life. The months went on, and boy, it was truly the Summer of Love. I was so happy with him and it always showed. We made things for each other, like drawings and such, because we couldn??t afford much. But I didn??t care. Senior year started off with a kick and I was damn happy with myself. Everyone could tell that something was different about me. I couldn??t keep to myself the summer I had had. I had learned more about the sexual side of relationships, though still very shy but wanting so much to give all I had to him. But nothing major had happened yet. Anyways, I played soccer, went to school, did my work, and then went to see my baby when he wasn??t busy. It was easy to be with him, like second nature to make a little time for him. I didn??t get to see him as often now, but it was okay. As long as I got to see him or talk to him, everything was all right. We got into some fights, like normal couples, but they still hurt and sometimes we got on each other??s nerves. But we always sorted things out? The new friends I had made through Blaine soon got girlfriends around the same time we were in our third or fourth month of dating and it was pleasing to have more girls ??in the group.? Overall, it was just good to be where I was at in my life. We talked about sex, how nervous the two of us were, and we discussed with our friends about it, separately of course. We made two attempts to have sex, which didn??t end well and I was getting aggravated and frustrated with myself. It was stressing me out that I was more or less, the reason we hadn??t been together the way we both wanted. But when it did happen, it the best anniversary of my life. It was two weeks before Christmas and I had gone over his house, having my own car by now and for some months, basically around the time we had started dating. We ended up going into the basement, which was set up like another living room and he had set up a bed of blankets and pillows on the carpet floor. I had blushed and smiled at him, so nervous but so impressed. He had wanted it to be special, unrushed like it had been those first two times. Even if it was in the basement, it was still romantic. But it turned into being a kind of funny moment. Like before, he couldn??t quite get it in and so he just looked at me and said, ??I??m sorry, babe. But I??m gonna just shove it in.? I couldn??t even believe what he had said before he pushed and went all the way in. It hurt, really bad, but once things got moving, it was?almost euphoric how he ended up making me feel. I had never felt so complete and loved and happy in all my young life until that moment. And I swore that I would marry him someday. And he said yes.