Thread: Playing With Toys--the twisted children's story

A series of short stories I wrote with a friend and she did a few illustrations for. Just something silly because we were bored. Thought I'd share. Playing With Toys 1 The Teddy Bear told the Doll With The Porcelain Face that he thought her blue dress with white flowers was pretty and matched her turquoise glass eyes. She said Thank you. Your stitches are so fine and your fur is well-groomed. They continued to compliment each other until it was clear there was nothing left to say. They were friends and that was good enough. The End Playing With Toys 2 The Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face both got cell phones and they talked together a lot about clothes and boys and junk. The End Playing With Toys 3 The Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face came to a bridge and wanted to cross it. But there was a mean Troll underneath and he was upset by people who walked on his bridge. So, out of courtesy of his feelings, the Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face took the ferry across the river instead, and a good time was had by all. The End Playing With Toys 4 After the ferry, the Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face went to a cafe and they got lattes. They were having a lovely time until the Troll, who was a gruff and uncouth sort, joined them. All he wanted to talk about was Adam Sandler movies and the secondary uses of sex toys as home decor and he got on the toys' nerves. They were able to give him the slip by excusing themselves away for an appointment to get Teddy Bear tested for HIV at a clinic. When alone, they plotted the Troll's death together and laughed merrily at the numerous possibilities. The End Playing With Toys 5 There was much plotting between the two friends and they finally decided upon poisoned chocolate as an end befitting a troll. What they didn't realize was that chocolate kills trolls anyways, but whatever. Apparently, the Troll didn't know this either and he, while garbling around the chocolate he stuffed in his face, made plans with them to go see You Don't Mess With the Zohan and to buy some new anal beads he could string around his apartmentlike garland or something. But all such plans for more fun with his new friends was lost when he fell to the gravel dead and stinky. At first, Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face rejoiced at having gotten rid of such an annoyance. But then they felt bad and decided to bring him back using mystical arts and voodoo rituals. What they got was no longer the Troll but just his re-animated body, but they both felt it was a plus because 1. their guilt was gone and 2. although practically a zombie, he didn't try to eat anybody. The End Playing With Toys 6 The Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face with the Re-Animated Troll went to get ice creams together. The Re-Animated Troll licked his so hard that the ice cream scoop fell off his cone. He knelt and began to lick it up from the sidewalk because he was dead inside and didn't know any better. Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face laughed and laughed. The End Playing With Toys 7 After ice creams, the Teddy Bear, the Doll With The Porcelain Face and the Re-Animated Troll went to the park to play baseball. Neither of the toys was very good at hitting the ball or catching it so the game soon became fetch for the Re-Animated Troll who would run after the ball when it was thrown a distance. But even that soon bored he toys and they began to beat the Re-Animated Troll with baseball bats until he was bloody and they were breathing hard. Then, feeling flush with anger and loathing for their obligation to the dead Troll they tied a chain around his feet and connecting a large stone, they threw the Re-Animated Troll into the river where he sunk to the bottom. They did not feel sorry this time. The End Playing With Toys 8 The Teddy Bear and the Doll With The Porcelain Face went home for a sit on the shelf. During their time out and getting all sweaty and stuffkilling Trolls, bringing them back to life and then killing them again is hard business had made them both kind of dirty. Teddy Bear's fur had ice cream in it and clumps of dirt and he reeked of teddy bear B.O. and the Doll With The Porcelain Face's dress was wrinkled and dirty too. The Big Lady put the Teddy Bear in the washing machine along with the Doll's dress to clean them. After an hour he came out of the laundry room and was set on the shelf next to the re-dressed Doll with The Porcelain Face. It was tea time and the Tall Girl was serving cupcakes with the tea. But the Teddy Bear didn't have anything. He felt sick from being tossed around in the washer and dryer. The End