Thread: The Pleasure Slave (constructive criticism PLEASE)

Re The Pleasure Slave constructive criticism welcome Present Day This auction was silent and anonymous. Each patron had a small handheld devise, as each specimen was shown the patron entered the price they were willing to pay. The winning bid was announced by the winners handheld vibrating, no movement youd lost the bid. A specimen - that is how each of the patrons viewed the slaves at auction. Products, goods, no different from furniture, lower than animals. At least animals had souls these beasts had little awareness or intelligence. One young patroness was there with her father. She had only just come of age and as custom dictated, she was to be gifted with her first Pleasure Slave. She shivered. Though she knew that it was customary for a young lady to receive such a gift, she couldnt help but wonder if it was wrong. But, shed decided to humor her father she had an important reason to do so. Shed never been attracted to any of their male house slaves. They were all slim, pretty men kept free of body hair and trained to obey any command without question. She didnt like slavery to begin with and she didnt want a slave who would bow to her every wish, someone who believed they had to grovel in her presence. Kalra, choose already! her exasperated father bit out, Youve said no to the last ten, there are only five left. Choose! Perhaps the best is yet to be shown Father. Kalra suggested. She didnt dare tell her father how she really felt. Slavery was the backbone of their society, without it, their society would crumble. Five more shown, five more rejected. Her father threw up his hands. He gave up. Nothing would ever be good enough for his daughter. None would be acceptable to her. What did she expect, a god perhaps? The first cage was opened for showing the pit slaves, not suitable for housework. The young patroness gasped. Taal struggled to shed his bonds his muscles bulged with the effort. Kalras eyes widened. Such a man! She chewed her lower lip, her father wouldnt be pleased. This was the one she wanted and she wouldnt leave the auction house without him. This man knew freedom, knew his own mind. She could later grant him his freedom, once her goal was reached. Until then, she could give him more freedom than any slave would ever know. She felt a sharp tug on her arm her father wanted to leave. Him Father, Kalra practically purred, He is the one I want. Buy him for me father. Are you mad? Have you lost all reason? It cannot be controlled. It is clearly wild, no training at all. It could kill you. Her father stormed at her. Father, Kalra whispered, He is the only one I want, only him will I accept. Chalton, another patron spoke to Kalras father, This slave is fit only for the stone pits. It would put your daughter at an unnecessary risk. You cannot in good conscience by that beast for her. How would you feel if that thing hurt her? Be firm, have her choose another. Chalton looked first to his daughter, then to the wild beast, then to his friend and back to his daughter. He saw the unconcealed look of desire on her face. He shook his head, his friend was right, but he would not go back on his word. He had promised her any slave she wanted regardless of the cost. Such was the price he would have to pay. Ill poison it. Just temporarily once the deed is done and she is safe Ill give it the antidote. Ill let no harm come to my daughter. Chalton answered his friend. No one else had yet bid on the specimen. It was seen as too dangerous, the hatred and anger coming from it was tangible. The slave master kept trying to convince the crowd, This particular product can work as hard as any two other slaves. Ill give him for half the standard price. Chaltons was the only bid. Ah, well he figured, shell get rid of it soon enough, once she realized how unpredictable such a creature is. Chaltons guards dragged the now unconscious Taal into the entryway. Take it to Kalras room and by all the gods, keep that thing chained. Chalton instructed the guards. No. Kalra interrupted Take my slave to the room connected to my own. Keep him restrained, but give him his head. You would give that beast its own room. Keep it chained to the end of your bed where it belongs. I have purchased you your pet, allowed it into my home, but you will keep it in its place. Her father raged at her, I am far too lenient when it comes to making you happy, my daughter. Please honor my wishes. Keep that creature under control, chain it to the wall, have your way with it, then be rid of it. It is dangerous. I should never have purchased it for you, what was I thinking? Father, you gave him to me. The connecting room is for my body slave or servants. I choose to place my Pleasure Slave there. With that Kalra walked off.