Thread: Anxiety, Depression, and trying to get better.

I still can't run. At one time I was a track and field player for my school, I was able to dash fairly well. But the car accident that messed my spine up has left me with a limp, and at times I need to use a cane. I only noticed that I can't run anymore when I was walking my dog. His leash slipped and he dashed off, and when I tried to chase him i fell flat on my face when my legs gave out. Thankfully my dog came back, but it was a reminder that not everything is in my head. Sure my upper body may not have been affected, but being unable to walk for six months did leave my legs weak. Anyway aside from the reminder that you should really take care of your body because you never know when you might end up loosing something for the rest of your life... The reason I'm actually writing this is that there is going to be a stark change around my house in a month or so. My parents bought a home on this island, and now because neither of them can work my mom's cancer is back, and my dad hasn't been able to find a steady job I'm the only income in the house and I'm part time we are taking on two international students. I'm not super thrilled about this, but it's the only way to keep the house so I don't really have a say in it. The thing that annoys me about it is that part of this agreement is that the students must have a 'family dinner' in which all members of the house must eat at a single table and interact. fuck you university requirement. I haven't sat down to eat with my parents since I was 12. My family doesn't even do family get togethers, or cook for one another. My mom is sick, my dad's depressed and I work full time hours for part time pay. What makes you think that at the end of the day any of these miserable people want to sit down at a table and fucking engage one another? We the members of this house hold have been at each others throats since before I could remember, and don't even get me started on my relationship with my brothers. We have tried to talk about counseling in the past of course, but this is a family that should never have been together in the first place. Whenever someone asks me why I haven't gotten married to my girlfriend of seven years, I turn and point to my parents. To anyone who wonders why I don't rp pregnancy I point to my brothers and my parents. These two people should never have had children let alone three. But oh we now have to invite these students on any kind of family outing! Sure they can come to my weekly counseling session, oh how about the monthly lets all go to the city because mom needs chemo? I'm sure they will love the daily my dad has locked himself into a room and is crying again event of the century. What are we just supposed to pretend we aren't all miserable and broken for six months of the year? Pretend that we aren't all holding knives in our off hand waiting for the day we can sink it into the others neck. When I first heard these requirements about bonding, I laughed, I laughed so fucking hard. but at the end of the day we need to keep the hosue, cause without the house I can't shower every day to go to my job. If I can't work I can't RP with the few partners I have on this site. Fuck it feels good to vent sometimes.