Thread: Splitting Ends -A glimps in to the mind of Trinket-

Tuesday, September 14 2010 Violin Concerto In A Minor Bach 1105 Am Pacific Daylight Time Sleepless Nights and M- oral Decay. Christ that header took forever to put together... I'm surpised I even finished it. BB code, or anycoding for that matter, is a pain in the fucking ass. Well, I'm going to start of by saying Yes, I still am bitching about my teeth. Why? Beccause they still fucking hurt and I will continue to bitch about them until they are forcbably yanked and or pulled from my skull. Call me a pussy if you will but motherfucker they hurt so bad and I have this god awful tates in the back of my mouth at all times no matter what I do to rid myself of it. I'm getting damn frustarated by it. I've been to two dentists and all they do is give me anti-biotics and painkillers and push back the goddamn removal date. I sware if the 27th comes around and they push it back agian I'mma get a bottle of boose and an exacto knife and just carve the fuckers out myself. Anyway... moving on. I haven't been sleeping very well lately, which isn't a surprise, but I can literally feel it wearing on my body and more importantly my mind. The only sleep I have really been able to pull was through a very bad combination sleeping pills, pain killers and mood stabilizers and even then I don't sleep I just lay there motionlessly. My mind is still plenty awake. I can feel and hear everything that's going on around me but I can't for the life of me get my body to respond. The other day it scared the living fuck out of me because someone was standing really close to me and I couldn't even open my eyes well enough to see what it was they were doing. I know that that dosen't sound all to bad, but even if this is my home it really isn't the safest place to be completely incapacitated. It didn't help when Adlin started freaking out on the person that was standing there. So, one would think that the soulution to this problem would be to simply not take as much of eat substance or simply not mix them. Well, if I don't I can't get my body to that point of atifucal sidation and I sit in my room unable to feel my body but still unable to sleep. Not much better. So the past few days I've simply said Fuck it And I have taken the perscribed amount pain killers to keep the pain in my teeth at bay and I've simply stayed awake... getting about 3 hours of sleep every 24-36 hours of wake time. I Apprecated the extrea time because I seem to be getting things done and a rapid pace but I can feel my gernal ablitily to care much about anything raidly depleating as well. I just can't seem to make myself give a damn about anything other then Myself, Adlilin, Niqueo, and possibly Alex, possibly. Most other things go streight over my head and if they don't I strike out violently towards minor irrataions, like the sound of someones voice after I've told not to speak around me. For example, just yesterday I ended up in a tossle with one of my mothers friends who has been flopping here for a good 3 months now. She wasn't doing much, just going through the cablints and bitching about how se didn't have any food. It pissed me off because none of us have eaten much in the last mouth and she, someone who dosen't rightfuly take residentancy in the house, is sitting there yelling about how we don't have food. It was damn annoying and so I tould her to get out of the kitchen and stop talking so loud. She told me to fuck off and so I dropped it and maybe 10 mineneuts later she started up agian and Adilin stepped in this time and said quite clearly that If you don't stop, Millah is going to flip out on you. and so she proceeded to say that I was full of shit and that I wouldn't do anything and so I got up and went over to her and put my ciggaret out on her shoulder. Was it the right thing to do? Absolutly not. Do I care? A little bit now but at the time I didn't. And the only resason I care is because I put myself in the wrong in the sit