Thread: Perception is Reality (ClearSight & SomethingEsoteric)

As Meghan kept pace toward her office she was incredibly, pleasantly surprised all that came was the sound of her nervous foot falls she wished she could be relieved but cautious optimism had always been more her pace and caution generally wasnt vey relieving she called it cautious optimism but the smile, that fools smile like a spring rose just as likely to blossom as it was to wither that was not a smile of optimism it was more a smile of too dumb to know any better or too blind to accept reality or it was a sad, hopelessly hopeful fools smile and a wither while appearing just as likely as the other in reality was almost always the certainty, nothing but heart break came to smiles like that, she kept her head up so shed always see the next good thing to come he way and sure it was better to place your faith in the wrong things than nothing at all but but how many times could she hope for something to be happy about, truly, long lastingly, undeniably happy before before that sigh of derision, that little creeping doubt, that god-be-damned cautious-mother-fucking-optimism. As if she didnt feel it, see it, know it, she knew it she saw how pathetic she was and she felt every blow grieving and glancing alike but still she smiled, still she kept her head up, everybody had their shit, she wasnt special and it was nothing supernatural thats why she smiled, because she wasnt special and her shit was nothing supernatural just like everybody else she got her silver linings and her happily ever after and this too would pass sooner or later so yeah she smiled stupidly and she kept her head up even when most days, that creeping normalcy and pathetic little change is going to come attitude was enough to make her want to fall to her knees, curl into a ball and just purge. Miranda wasnt her silver lining and she wasnt her happily ever after and maybe this job wasnt even either of those things in fact, it might just be more cause for contemplative cautious optimism but shed keep her head up and shed keep that fools smile. So after a few moments of solace as they walked when Miranda spoke Meghan glanced over her shoulder at her not pensive or with a grimace, not dubious or wrought with worry just a cautiously optimistic fools smile with the eyes of a person whod been kicked one time less too damn many or maybe one who just couldnt handle another kick and strange as it was the eyes looking back at her well, they didnt really seem much too different. Pancakes apple juice eggs she huffed out word by word before making a face at her, smiling a little wider, eyes narrowing to a crinkle of amusement. I took you for more of a parfait and coffee black sort. The blossom was over so then came the wither I know a bit about eating your meals alone, she expressed maybe searching for similarities, maybe pointing them out, maybe just being friendly, but admitting to vulnerability regardless which was disarming to most for most. A small huff came, she wanted Miranda to open up she should too I moved to the city for my residency last year, cats dont really count for company at the dinner table. She said in a voice that suggested shed debated it at least once, knew better, decided better. Cats, more than one cat, not my two cats at least three cats her only company she didnt even like cats! She shook her head and let a one note chuckle pass her luscious lips as she slid her key into her door upon reaching her office, Not parfait and black coffee. She admitted, a strange ebb and flow in place that she seemed cheerier than ever now that Miranda was playing nice, nicer. Ahm before a work out? A big bowl of frosted flakes, two eggs, over hard, one slice of toast multigrain, half an orange, a glass of milk and a cup of cottage cheese at least, thats what coach told us to eat before a match. She shrugged and found a worn looking gym bag with a university athletics logo in relief on the side, -but, Ill probably just go for some eggs, toast and that orange maybe the coffee too, double double, but its all decaf here unless... She blinked and grimaced, dont tell any of the other patients that. While there were two separately labeled pots, they were both decaffeinated unless you were in a staff lounge or had one of the specialty cups one of those best kept secrets that didnt really seem to be necessary or make much sense when a simple truth could easily replace a needless lie. Shoot erhm, better just skip the coffee. She didnt realize it but shed just divulged more than a harmless fact about the centres coffee there was also double double a Canadian term for two cream, two sugar, the fact shed referred to a coach suggesting shed been a participant of organized sport not just someone who swung a racket for a work out of the university tote didnt say it already, the fact she could put away a meal when it was put before her and she lived a humble enough life that even something simple as a coffee and parfait seemed like a yuppies meal to her.