Whitzz/544K-RP-Datasets huggingface dataset:
Thread: Gender Roles/Sexuality : Relationships, Longing For Love

I'm lonely. Lately I've been feeling more like a female than a male. I want to be held in a big, hunk of a man and be his sweet fem boy girl, and for him to be my MAN. It's odd. I've considering myself straight since child hood until around ten years ago. Then I just started to get less and less heterosexual as time goes by. Im so lonely. It's like no one loves me. Girls never talk to me. The guys never talk to me. I feel like cutting myself again. . . It's a good thing Im addicted to it anymore. But everything just feels out of control. There's no such fucking thing as love in my world.
Thread: Gender Roles/Sexuality : Relationships, Longing For Love

Firstly, moving this to journals as it's more appropriate for the section. Secondly, you aren't odd. Consider those around you just narrow and stupid because they are unable to broaden their horizons and allow the beauty of the variety and all the potential that humans have as far as their sexuality and roles when it comes to gender and the like go into their minds. Truly, we as humans are fortunate that we can really explore such things within ourselves and find happiness given the fact that we have the minds we do. We can reason and think and allow ourselves to just go into so many things and think on so many possibilities. It's quite amazing really. We are quite lucky. So yeah. They are stupid for not realizing this and accepting you for who you are. Be proud that you are able to look into yourself and accept yourself for who you are and find that happiness within. Hold onto it and know that there are others out there who aren't blinded by stereotypes or the stupidity. That there are those out there who accept any and all for who they are. And hopefully you can feel free and safe to openly talk about such things here.
Thread: Gender Roles/Sexuality : Relationships, Longing For Love

I totally feel you tbh, but more to be like the lil neut twink boy to the big hunky man
Thread: We Meet Again (AndNich123 & Adam)

Five minutes ago, he would have given everything for it to be his long lost high school crush who would step in through that door. Now, when his fantasy by some strange turn of events had turned into reality, he wished for it to go away. After spending years of his career in often hostile business meetings he was well versed in etiquette for all situation, but even though his mind raced while he tried to form a sentence he could not remember any social rules for what was appropriate behavior in a situation like this. I... uhm... he begun but did not manage to get any longer. With a red blush growing under the five-o-clock shadow on his cheeks, he lowered his brown eyes. Before he reached the safe spot - the floor - with his gaze, he got stuck at something else - her breasts. He had spent hours admiring them while she had solved well, at least tried to solve, he always had to do it in the end math problems. Back then he had though he was peaking in secret, but now he realized she had been well aware of it, and accepted it as a form of payment for his services. She wouldn't have worn those tight t-shirts every time he came over if she didn't want him to look, nor would she have just happened to come fresh out of the shower with a big towel wrapped around her slender body once. That image was still engraved on his cornea, and thinking about it he felt his cock grow hard, creating an all to visible bulge in his black suit pants. 'James, you are staring at the ladies breast.' his inner voice reminded him, and his eyes bounced back up and met hears for a short second. She was beautiful, even with those thick layers of whore make up. How... ehem... nice to meet you? he finally managed to say, but it sounded more like a question than a statement. Let me get you something to drink, perhaps we can do some catching up? He turned around, relieved not to have to face her anymore, and picked up a bottle of champagne from the living room table in front of the black leather sofa. Even though the kind of girls that would visit a mans hotel room like this would spread their legs no matter what once the donation was handed over, James felt better when he at least pretended to woo them. It took his mind off the fact that he was paying for sex, a thought that would otherwise run through his mind even during the highs of pleasure and orgasm. With his back turned to her, he opened the bottle with a pop and started to pour to glasses. Obviously, I was not expecting to see you here. he explained as he turned around, almost hoping for her to have silently left while he looked away. But she was still standing there, so without making eye contact he handed her a glass of champagne and than sat down in the sofa. 'Small talk. Make small talk, come on.' What was a normal thing to say to a friend you haven't seen in a long time? So what are you doing nowadays? he finally came up with, but the second the words were out of his mouth he realized what a stupid question it was. He already knew what she was doing nowadays. She was a prostitute.
Thread: We Meet Again (AndNich123 & Adam)

James was amazed at how confident and unmoved she seamed to be, as if this strange situation she had found herself in didn't touch her at all. Meeting an old friend who is trying to buy sexual favors from you? Just smile and take it with a breeze! But thinking about it, this was not the first time she was giggling at him and he was stammering out words that made no sense. It had been their normal mode of communication for the four years in high school they had known each other, so come to think of it this was a natural way to pick up their acquittance. When he joined her in the toast, the champagne glasses chinking, his smile was just as forced as hers, the only difference being that she was much better at forcing smiles than he was. In his line of work, to never smile was considered an asset. In hers, he understood it must be the other way around. I'm sorry. That... that was a stupid thing to say. he admitted in a shaking, ashamed voice as he sat down in the sofa. He started making a gesture with his hand for her to join him, but regretted it half way through and instead scratched his neck in an unnatural way. And I mean there is no need for you to excuse yourself for what you are doing or be ashamed... I am sure you have your reasons. And I mean I am the one who called you up here. You are the one who should make excuses, you are the one who should be ashamed, his inner voice shouted at him. Happy to change the subject away from the elephant in the room - she was a prostitute, he was a john, they were supposed to engage in sexual intercourse - he changed the subject to his job. I buy companies, under performing companies that loose money. So I get them cheap, and then I split them up and sell the various assets for more than I bought the company for. Suddenly feeling a bit brave, he added in a more defiant tone I guess you could say that the money that goes out are less than the money that comes in. That is what they call a surplus. He articulated the last word, tasted every syllable of it, in the same way he had done with the complicated math terms back then - log-a-rithm. He was genuinely surprised at how good that felt, to be snarky to the girl that he had once loved. Or had it been love? More than loved her he had adored her, worshiped her, like something just as abstract, distant and unattainable as the christian god he had never believed in. And now he could just sit here and be blasphemous with out having to consider the consequences - no lightning would strike him down, no beautiful angel would banish him from her presence. He wanted to stop there, just be nice and polite, but it was just to tempting to go on - he was a little child that had just realized he could brake all the rules without repercussion. And yes, we are hiring, but I am afraid most of our positions require a different skill set than yours.
Thread: We Meet Again (AndNich123 & Adam)

Whit her voice in that deep, confessional tone he almost thought the bodily need she was referencing as the reason for her enterprise would be of a more sinful nature. But off course not, she was only playing theater, having a little bit of fun with him by keeping his hope alive only to kill it with a joke. The usual way. Oh, if she had only chosen to play out the lie instead, telling him how much she wanted to be fucked, how she needed it, how horny she was. That was what the other two escort girls, the whores, had told him when his curiosity had gotten the better out of him and he as polite as he could tried to inquire about the motives for their choice of profession. Off course the lies had been obvious, they had been reading their script in dry voices, but still that little fig leaf of imagination had been enough for him to be able to hide his shame behind long enough to get naked with them. But Tess would not give him that comfort, that had never been her style. Showing off his big, massive, huge brain? Did this women ever speak in sentences that didn't sound like ripped from a porn script but with the happy ending replaced by sarcastic twists? The excitement he had felt when he listened to his own voice, realizing he for once actually sounded cocky and confident, was all gone now. This was her game he had tried to play, and she was bound to win it. For fuck sake, she even managed to get him to feel bad for only staring at her breasts when technically he was paying for squeezing them. Sitting there at the sofa, his dick slowly growing limp, he felt seventeen years old again. When her smart little rant was over, he sighed and then emptied the champagne glass in one quick go. Listen... We don't have to do this. His voice was sad, dejected, but steady. I don't have to try to brag in front of you. You don't have to try to insult me. We don't have to... eh... What should he call it? Fuck? No, to vulgar. Make love? No, to romantic. ...sleep together. You can take the money, it isn't enough for me to care about, and then you can stay and chat, you can leave, you can do whatever you want with your life. He inhaled after finishing his speech, and for the first time since he had greeted her at the door, he actually looked into her eyes, waiting for her response.
Thread: We Meet Again (AndNich123 & Adam)

The tone in his voice had changed, and it was one she recognized right away. Many times had she dashed the hopes of several men, and had them crawl away with their tail between their legs only to lick their wounds in a corner. James was already headed for the nearest corner. There was a moment, a small one at best, where she felt a bit sorry for him and guilty. She never liked the latter very much, and so she quickly swept it away. A skill set required in her line of work. One must be able to sweep all emotions under the rug lest you desire for them to get in the way. Lucky for her, that was a talent she had not only started working on in school, but she had well perfected it. James, Im not a quitter, and frankly I thought better of you. Youve accumulated such a nice fortune for yourself here, and thats clearly taken a lot of hard work and dedication. Im sure youve put in many hours at the office pounding away on your.ambitions. Of course there was a smirk not only in her tone but on her face. Tessa had not mastered the fine art of knowing when to stop and walk away. However, you want me to leave I can fully understand. It must be so difficult for you really. She rose drinking the rest of her champagne as quickly as he had leaving her last comment hanging in the air for him to wonder what she meant. Sitting the glass down, she looked into his eyes once more. He was getting brave in holding her gaze, and she smiled at him. Youre such a brilliant James. That I will give you without hesitation. You just have no spine, no backbone, and clearly no balls. I could lend you mine seeing as how you stared at them enough before. She looked down at her chest before returning her gaze. You could be so much more, but instead you cower and hide. Such a pity really. With all your wealth and all that it can buy, you still lack confidence. You will always be destined to only have call girls as no woman wants a spineless, her eyes look down at his crotch, limp, jellyfish of a man. She straightened up from bending over so that she could keep a better hold to his gaze and headed for the table to collect the envelope. Take care James, and if you ever need our services again, please do not hesitate to call on us again. Just make sure to tell whoever takes your call to not send me. As easy as this money is, there are some things that simply are not worth the effort. Coming here, enduring this, makes that list for me. You were so useful to me then James, and if you were truly a man, you might still be of some use to me now. Call me when you become one. She heads towards the foyer and the door. Have a good night James, and please do my homework for me.
Thread: We Meet Again (AndNich123 & Adam)

He sat leaned back in the sofa, listening to her ruthless tirade. At first, every single word felt like a stab to his chest. In quick strokes she sucked out his will to live from his body, one shot at a time, like a greedy fat girl with a milkshake. He didn't want to call another agency after this, as he had planned earlier, he didn't even want to masturbate, as she had suggested. He just wanted to fall asleep, catch the first plane in the morning, and never ever return to Sterling or Colorado again. Then suddenly it struck him, like a lightning bolt from a clear sky. There was no reason for him to sit here and take all this. Absolutely no reason at all. His effort to calm himself down had been for her sake, because he did not want to hurt her feelings. Sure, she had been a bitch in high school, but now she was obviously just a poor girl caught in a though spot, or so he had figured. But now she had proved beyond all reasonable doubt that Tessa Arcadia was the bitch she had always been. He had no moral obligation towards this woman, who seemed to think she had no moral obligations to him. It was then he made his decision. He would not spare her anything. Now this wasn't her game anymore. This was his game, this was what he had worked with for the last ten years, what he had lived for for the last ten years. Negotiations. Intimidate your opponents, scare them into giving up their assets for the lowest price possible. The only difference was that this time the assets were not a company but a human body, perhaps even a human soul. But that was a minor difference in his book. Relieved of both the shame and the despair, he put his feet up on the table. Now, for every word she spoke, his smile just grew wider. Silently he added every insult, every snide remark, to the list of missteps she would have to pay for. It took him all of his willpower not to burst out into a big laugh of the wild and crazy kind, but he stayed silent, just smiling like the sun. He waited until she had her hand on the door knob before he spoke. Then, in a steady, clear voice he informed her of the fact she would find out herself in the next second The door is looked. He got up from the sofa, picked up the remote control from the table and turned on some music. The next second the room was filled with a slow waltz, the one they always show people figure skating to on TV. With sweeping, long steps in sync with the music he approached her until she was trapped between his tall body and the locked door. Looking down at her, the smirk on his face bigger than ever, he gently took her hands in his and said in the softest voice he could muster Honey, you do realize that I have the money to pay layers and bribes to get away with anything I may choose to do to you?
Thread: We Meet Again (AndNich123 & Adam)

James listened to the scared prostitutes warnings with a calm smile on his face. Don't worry, honey, you will be out of here in time. I would hate to brake your... schedule. he said with a voice so soothing it bordered on creepy. Do you remember when I asked you out for the graduation prom? he suddenly asked. He was looking straight through her, his eyes fixed at some distant point at the horizon as if the memory was being played up in front of him and he was only narrating what he saw. You said no, off course. He put his right hand on her shoulder blade, his thick arm just gently brushing against the side of her breast. Well, no was not the only thing you said. You said that you would rather die than bee seen next to me, you said that being nice to me was just something you did to get help with the math, and if I was so stupid as not to understand that obvious fact - why else would a pretty girl ever talk to a dork like me - it was not your fault. And you said now that school was over you had no further use for me, so I could just fuck off. The despise he felt shone through his sober and matter-of-factly voice. That is a direct quote, by the way. he added as he raised his left hand, together with her right, into a dance pose. I know this is a decade to late, but will you have this dance with me? he asked, but did not wait for her answer. Just as the music hit a crescendo, he swayed her out on the imaginary dance floor that was his hotel room. He held her tight, tighter than a gentleman should in a dance, with her chest pressed against his, so she could feel every breath he took. His face was right next to hers, and without missing a beat of the dance he whispered into her ear in a poor mimic of the lovers gentle passion As you try to make it through tonight, I want you to remember this. How much easier wouldn't it have been if you had said yes back then? All you would have had to do was dance with me, perhaps give me a good night kiss. It would have been so much easier than this.
Thread: We Meet Again (AndNich123 & Adam)

His tone, his comment only fueled the slight rage that beginning to grow beneath the surface with her. Fuck off, she thought as she starred at him. Her nerves trying to grip her, get the better of her, but she was not about to give him the satisfaction, and there is nothing he can do that will make cause me to let him know exactly what I am feeling at this moment. It was as if he was someone else, and for Tessa, this meant a whole new game. She had to learn him, and his mode of play, quickly. The music picking up, ringing through the room loudly. Her heart nearly pounding with as much intensity. This was as if straight out of a film including a stalker and his prey. Prey. The word struck her hard. Thats what she was to him right now. His prey, and he the predator. She swallowed hard as this new realization brought on so much more, and her nerves were slowly winning the battle. She nodded at his questions. Of course she didnt remember it at all. How could she be expected to remember all the guys that asked her out? There were too many, and along with them too many dashed hopes. Still she did not want to convey message to him. So she simply agreed and listened to the musing of a mad man. Thats what she was viewing him as now. A mad man. Sadly as he wove his tale to her, she did recall some of what he said. Once school as out, he was right, she had no need for him anymore. His emotions radiated, and she was exposed to them all. As his right hand started for her shoulder, she dropped her purse and the envelope. Her nerves finally winning the battle, she shook her head at him. She wanted to tell him no, but gripped by fear, she had lost the ability to speak. She trembled as his hand held her own. Her eyes widened as he asked her the most ridiculous question he possibly could have and dragged her further into the hotel room. Darting around, she was at a total loss. James really did seem to have lost his mind at this point. How do you deal with a crazy person? Not once did the thought enter her mind that she had pushed him to this. She could have been nicer to him. She could have simply taken the money and left without saying a word. Instead she chose to push buttons, and now she was dealing with the consequences. As he leaned close to her, she held her breath. Easier than this? What did he mean by this? Surly that implies there is so much more to this than this dance. She took a moment to regain her composure. There was no doubt Tessa had to reel in her nerves and try to regain control of this situation. His grip was firm, and she had endured almost as much of this sick, silly game as she was going to. James! Let me go! That dance, as you said was a decade ago. Move on! Get over it! Grow up! Youve lost your damn mind! Youre insane! This borders on sick! She gazed into his eyes waiting for him to say something. She pulled trying to get free, but his grip was strong.
Thread: We Meet Again (AndNich123 & Adam)

Tess' protest went by him unnoticed. In perfect harmony with the music he continued to dance as if he was completely unaware of the fact that he had to drag her feet over the floor to get her to follow along. Yes, you are right, my dear. he said. His tone was that of polite conversation at a dinner party, nothing like what a situation like this actually called for. An awful amount of time has passed, indeed, and a lot of things have changed. But let me teach you some economics. We have already covered deficits and surpluses, so lets do some supply and demand. He was speaking slowly, like if he was trying to explain something really complicated to a little school girl. In high school, there was only one queen and everybody wanted her. Lots of demand, low supply, that gives you a high price, a high value. All the while he talked he continued the waltz, his voice rising and falling with the music - forward, side, close, one, two, three... His body moved with the same precision as he spoke, both in stark contrast to his teenage years when both his movements and his words always seemed to be an unsynchronized mess. He cleared his throat before he went on with his lecture. Now this place is crowded with pathetic failures and nobody wants you. Lots of supply, no demand, that gives you a low value. A value no higher than that of the services you provide, and when you get older and to ugly for anyone to want to fuck, no value at all. He laughed a hoarse, complacent laugh as he led her into a turn, admiring the sight of her blue dress whirling. When their bodies met again he held her even tighter, his thick digits burying into her shoulder. You may accuse me of being rude, my dear, but you can not call me a liar. He smiled a false smile so big that his artificially white teeth shone. And that, in conclusion, is why back then I would have been happy with only a good night kiss, but now I am free to take whatever I want. He sounded like a math professor who had just finished his proof for the angular sum of the triangle. Quod erat demonstrandum. Suddenly he let go of her shoulder blade, and instead ran his fingers through her long, blonde hair, holding her head like it was a most precious but fragile possession. Slowly he moved it towards him, like in a dramatic film kiss from a black and white fifties movie. But just as their lips were about to meet, just as his cold brown eyes stared into hers, he reversed direction. His hand formed a fist, and by her hair he pulled her back, down towards the floor. Yes, that is why today I can just tell you to get down on your fucking knees and suck my cock like the whore you are. He did not raise his voice a bit, but yet he sounded like he was roaring.