Thread: A Guttering Flame

Something I wrote for my writing class in the spring, I didn't get an amazing grade but I did pass the class and am fairly content with how this short turned out. But I would love some added critiques on it if anyone wants to share any. Her hair swept around her face and shoulders in the blistering wind as she looked down from the hilltop on which she stood to the encampment below. The grass beneath her old, scuffed boots was the most brilliant shade of green, flourishing after the season of heavy rains that had resulted in the swift, thin river winding through a ravine behind her and through which she had tromped to reach this point. Lifting her darkened eyes she scanned past the scruffy camp to the mossy rocks that were scattered across the floor of the valley. The wind picked up and she tugged her thick black coat tighter around her slim shoulders before starting down the hill. The horses pricked their ears forward as she came near and she greeted them with a tired smile and a few muttered words. But she continued on into the encampment, past sloppy tents and hastily created carts and wagons until reaching a group of people gathered around a fire in the middle of the camp. A large, grizzled man looked up at her approach, gray eyes keen as he studied her quietly before speaking. Anythin'? He asked, a heavy burr obvious in his rough voice and she shook her head. Nah. City's mostly gone, and there's no folk 'tween here and there. Her answer was spoken with a lilting accent but the words were stiff and distant despite the soft timbre of her voice. With her hazel eyes and thick auburn hair she was a beauty to be sure, her slim frame clothed in dirty and stained jeans as well as an old shirt under her jacket. But her pale skin was smudged with dirt and there were dark circles under her intelligent eyes. A couple of the tired, dirty people seated around the fire shifted to give her room and she gave them a grateful smile before sitting down. They sat in silence for a while, passing around some cups before dishing up the slightly watery stew that had been thrown together for dinner. The group ate quietly, though soft conversations did spring up here and there. She kept to herself though, lost in thoughts of the devastation that filled the country-side shed recently traveled across. And there was the fact that she didn't much like most of the people she helped protect by keeping an eye on their surroundings. She had one reason and one reason only for coming back to this place time and time again. That very reason wrapped slim arms around her shoulders from behind, interrupting her silent brooding. Hey Rainstorm. A voice spoke quietly into her ear, speaking a fond nickname with amusement. A small smile crossed her lips and she turned her head to look at the speaker. It was a young woman, around her age, with bright red hair cut to her chin and a pale, lightly freckled face with an impish look to it. Kyden She replied simply, relaxing into the slim red-heads arms. The young woman shifted them so that she could sit against her back and rested her chin on the wanderers shoulder. Yeah Morna. The woman, Kyden, whispered reassuringly, gently rubbing her arms. Any lingering tension from her travels melted away as a smile came to her lips. Theyd all lost so many things in the disaster, but Morna had found something precious that practically made all the suffering worth it in her mind. Kyden was her warmth and safety, the impish red-head making her laugh and keeping her spirits up. She felt soft lips press a kiss to the top of her head and closed her hazel eyes with a sigh of contentment. This was why she always came back after scouting. The only reason she came back really. She only tolerated most of the other survivors, and didnt particularly like quite a few of them. But Kyden shone bright among them, and it wasnt just because of her hair. She had such a warm, accepting personality and she had managed to slip through Mornas emotional walls which shed thought were impregnable. Sure some of the people here gave them looks, as though insulted by their mere existence once they started acting couple-y. But Morna had already been good at ignoring other people's reactions before the disaster had hit. Eventually the people dispersed, Morna and Kyden among them until they split off for their own tent. The pair had a fairly small tent, just big enough for the two of them. But that was fine for the two young women. As they changed and settled for bed Morna became serious and turned to look at the other woman. Let's leave thothers, tonight. We don' even like em. And we'll be fine on our own. She suggested earnestly, hazel eyes shining as she grasped Kyden's hand. The petite red-head smiled but shook her head, her own gray eyes showing her determination. Morna. We can't just abandon them. In times like this, people have to stick together. I know you know that. She reprimanded softly and the brunette sighed, nodding and flopping back to lay on her blankets. Kyden shifted to lay beside her, curled into her side with one arm wrapped over her mid-section. The simple contact calmed the wanderers restless soul, causing her to relax into her warmth. The pair drifted off to sleep, each feeling safe and relaxed in this little haven they'd created for themselves. They were awoken in the wee hours of the morning by the sounds of gunshots and fighting. Morna rolled to her feet immediately, hands reaching for the knife and handgun she always carried with her. Kyden was a little slower to react, being less used to standing on constant alert. The brunette poked her head out the tent flap, keen hazel eyes looking for the threat. Finally she turned back, concern and an icy control in her features. Stay here Ky. Im gonna go see whats happened. She said simply before slipping out of the tent and into the early morning fog. The redhead frowned, holding her gun with the grip of one whos never had to use it against another human. She didnt like that her wandering soulmate always chose the more dangerous path while insisting she herself stay behind in safety. But the only thing she could do would be to follow her, which would just distract Morna from what she needed to get done, and might result in getting her killed. And so she settled in to wait, just like always, anxious for her love to return safely. But soon the smell of smoke started to curl around her and she looked around anxiously, wondering where it came from. At first she couldn't find a source for the acrid scent, but then there were flames licking at the back corner of her tent. Her eyes widened and she quickly ran out of the tent to escape the swiftly growing fire. Morna had been tracking a few of the intruders just outside of camp when she heard a gunshot coming from a previously quiet area of the encampment. She looked back over her shoulder and saw the smoke and flames rising from the section where her tent had been. All thoughts flew from her mind as she turned and ran back into camp, dodging friends and enemies alike with single-minded determination. When she reached the space where the burning remains of her tent stood she skidded to a stop, hazel eyes going wide with disbelief at the sight in front of her. There was Kyden, on the ground, stained with her own blood. The brunette slowly walked closer before dropping to her knees, looking down into the surprised brown eyes staring emptily up at the sky. Something inside the wanderer snapped as she looked down at the body of the only one who had ever held her to this place. Slowly she stood, turned, and started to simply walk away. She hardly noticed the flames around her as she walked, and the only time she paused was to cut the ties that held the horses where they would surely die before someone remembered them. But even that was done in a distracted manner before she made her way back up the hill. At the top her feet went still for a moment and she glanced dully back over her shoulder. Nothing here for me She reminded herself before continuing on, down into the ravine to cross the river once again.