Thread: My Ramblings {Comments Welcome}

To be honest, I never planned on starting one of these on here. Then I found myself sick, bored, and high off of medication and figured why the hell not. It can be for lots of things. My first post is both an apology and absence. I am quite content still lurking until I figure just how complicated I should make my request thread. I am very interested to jump in head first, but I've already gotten some PMs that would fall into explicitly 'no' territories. So if I just throw something up, I figure that I'll be shutting a lot of people down. If I make it to the point, I might be shutting myself out of lot of potential. If it is too long, I'll probably put some people to sleep reading it and then the question becomes how to keep their interest? Anyways, apologies to not getting back to some of the people who have sent me PMs. It seems that I landed on Santa's fuck you list and instead of presents, he brought me the damn flu. Well, actually it was a friend coming down for my husband's surprise party that brought it... but I started showing symptoms on Christmas Eve. I am on quarantine until 24 hours after no fever and other symptoms. As I mentioned in my introduction thread, I've got a rather large family so holidays usually last for a couple of weeks. Add to that the fact I have a few little cousins who are like my own children to me with birthdays at the end of December and early January and Christmas and family gatherings last into the second week or so of January. So as you can imagine, all those were thrown out the window of my diagnosis. Especially when the doctors at the hospital told me that the flu shot this year was pretty much a bust. I usually never get them anyways because they make me sick, but others in family are all for them. Joke is on them though. They predicted a different strain this year or got something off, so they got a needle for nothing. I can't even go to get my own cigarettes... which means the husband controls how much I can smoke. I don't think I'm quite ready to let him know that I've been sneaking off and hiding a pack about every other day when he already bitches about me going through almost two a day. So I suffer in some silence from nicotine withdrawals. My six year old is a sadist who tells me I should quit smoking anyways and I wouldn't have to worry about it. I'm worried I'm raising her to be too much like me. A realist. She is right after all. I didn't start back smoking until several years after she was born and then I was hiding it from her for awhile when she started Pre-K but she thinks quitting is easy. The porcelain god is a greedy son of a bitch. I make regular offerings after I attempt to eat something. Or even drink something. Even when I have nothing on my stomach and vomit up stomach acid before dry heaving myself into near unconsciousness. A sinus infection adds to the heinousness of my torture. My head is pounding so hard that I can't even sleep it off. The lights of anything electronic hurt my eyes but being on the computer doing something semi-productive is better than wallowing and accomplishing nothing. Family is being both helpful and unintentionally killing me. Presents are dropped off, a few minutes spent visiting. Large plates of delicious smelling food that I can't, or more correctly... am not willing to attempt to, eat yet taunt me. Things I used to scoff at, like the long standing tradition of new pajamas opened on Christmas Eve, fuzzy socks, and those cheap but cuddly blankets have been my new comfort. Gifts of pedialite the only thing I can sometimes keep down and other medicine have been welcome, but were given as a joke. It sucks because the child probably came down with it too. She picked up a small fever yesterday but isn't as bad off as I am. Hopefully she won't be. She seems to have her dad's immune system where as mine is absolute shit. So it may take me awhile to get back to PMs and get up a request thread. If I'm never heard from again, assume I died.... I think someone in the hospital room had ebola. Sadly, I am only half joking. When I was being discharged, they were cleaning up blood all the way down the hallway, the waiting area, and even outside where the ER drop off is. The case at the CDC has me paranoid.