Thread: =All about Anj={Journal, general musings, etc}

RE All About Defiant.Anjeru Journal, apologies, absences, etc I really need some advice. However, let me get the facts out first. My ex is the father of both my kids, he is only on my son's birth papers because he up and left me when I got pregnant with my daughter. His grandparents had a private test filed, to try and prove to him I was a whore and that she wasn't his. She is, as is my son. In the three years we were involved, he got two other women pregnant. He has two kids, proven by DNA tests. So at 21, he has four kids. He cheated on me, all the time. I found at least four girls in town, a dozen online, and several girls on his phone he 'exchanged' pics and videos with. But because he cheated, he treated me like the cheater. He cut me out of BMR, most of my guy friends, all of my ex's, and I couldn't even leave our apartment the one above the garage at his GRANDPARENTS, without him freaking out on me. Which brings me to the fact the he was abusive. He says since he never physically hit me, he didn't abuse me. However. He constantly threw me around, shoved me into the wall by choking me, wrapped his hands around my throat, punching the wall an inch from my face screaming about how he would make sure I'd fuck him and no one else. I'd be his slave. I got in touch with one of the girls who has his baby and asked her if she'd like to get together so our kids could get to know each other. He found out and freaked, saying since he was the one who fucked her, he had the right to tell me whether or not I could talk to her. When I told him I would continue talking to her, he tried to run the car off with road WITH the kids in it. I threw coffee on him to get him to stop. He proceeded to grab me by my throat and slam my head into the seat, while the children watched. I started planning to leave. He found out and we got into much like what you've read above. This time though, he said fine, but I get to fuck you first and, while I was screaming, crying, and begging him to stop, he forced himself on me in front of my kids. I ran as soon as he gave me a moment, down stairs to his grandparents where he tried to drag me from but his grandpa punched him to get him to let me go. He was screaming about how he was going to kill me. I called my mom, we packed everything, I went to the hospital, filed the sexual assault thingy, but didn't press charges because I was frightened out of my mind. I told him to get therapy. His grandparents were saying I had turned him into that, that he was never like that before me. That what happened was my fault. Since then, he has been harassing me. He even stalked my Facebook page until one of his ex's told him to stop being a stalker. The therapist released him, and said he's fine, after only two-three months of appointments each week. Is it just me, or is that therapist on crack? Anyway. He is harassing me because I won't let him take the kids alone. I don't as for child support, I haven't filed to have him completely barred from us, yet he says I am being unreasonable and that I need to start trusting him, even though it has only been nine months since I left him. He keeps saying he loves, wants his family back, yet has little to do with his other kids. It's like he's only fixated on my kids because they're part of me . He yells at me for not letting him see them, when he is the one who never asks. I don't think I am being unreasonable at all being around him makes me sick and I am scared out of my mind, but he just keeps telling me it was in the past, get over it. There is no way someone changes in a matter of months. I really do not think he has changed, and I am scared I still have nightmares of what he did. Does anyone have any advice? My primary concern is my kids. I don't want to lose them, or let anyone hurt them.