Thread: Shadows in the Light: Prologue

This is the prologue to what might turn into a much bigger story given time. I just finished it, and was looking for some opinions and critique. So without further adieu... Shadows in the Light But there can't be anything there, I can see spirits! She said with a tinge of pride. Nicolas withheld an eyeroll, a sigh, and a few other half dismissive gestures. His friend, Sarah, was a good person, and he liked spending time with her. She was a lot of fun, and had a lot of enthusiasm and energy. It was a good balm to how dour Nicolas usually was. But as long as he'd known her she'd been going on about how she could see spirits in the world, and after a while it did start to get wearying. She'd just finished talking about her niece, and how the little girl had apparently gone utterly and completely crazy, screaming about how something in the basement of the house was going to 'get' her if she was left alone for more than a few seconds. Sarah had carried her out of the basement, calming her down, and now the little girl, April, was running in the yard, apparently having a grand time. Did she say anything about what 'it' was? Nicolas asked, hating that he was pursuing this line of questions. But old habits died hard. And ones as deeply ingrained as these never died at all. Not really. Why? You want to talk to her about it? Nicolas really didn't. But he nodded. Sarah, looking puzzled, called April over. April was a nice child, five years old, and with longer than average brown hair. She had a bright smile, and showed no sign of the episode that had terrified her. Children were resilient like that. Hello April. I'm Nicolas, a friend of your Auntie Sarah. He told her, smiling calmly, and actually offering her a hand to shake. She did so with the typical boundless enthusiasm of a child. It was actually pretty cute to watch. Can you tell me what you saw in the basement? Her enthusiasm died instantly. She shook her head. Can you tell me why? She looked at him, and then back at Sarah. Sarah nodded, but was starting to look confused. It was scary. She said quietly. Nicolas nodded to her, looking a little wistful, and slid off of his chair, and went onto one knee to look April in the eye. It's okay April. Telling someone about things like that can help make it not as scary anymore. You don't have to be scared alone. He rest a hand on her shoulder as he spoke. She faintly smiled, thinking to trust this friend of her aunts. Big. Really big. And...smoky. Smoke all over it. And...red...eyes... her breathing hitched as she started to remember more vividly by talking about it. Said he'd get me soon! She collapsed into Nicolas, who wrapped arms around the girl, shushing her faintly. Shh. Shh. It's okay. You're safe here. Anything else? Anything at all? Nicolas asked. Sarah opened her mouth to say something, but Nicolas held up a hadn to stop her, and she frowned, but did. L...L...Lilim. She whispered. It said it was Lilim. Nicolas looked at the house, the very one that had so frightened her, and he stood, carrying April with him. Sarah. Take her. He said with an air of calm that was intense enough to seem almost dangerous. Sarah didn't know what else to do but comply. Nicolas started to walk towards the house. He pulled his shirt off over his head, and let it fall. Sarah opened her mouth to call to him, but froze as she noted that there was a large array of scars running all along him. She watched as he crouched to draw out a knife. No, it was a dagger, and despite the ease that he held it, she could see it looked...fairly crude actually. She started when he drew the blade across his own palm, wetting it in his own blood. He held the blade out, and started to speak. It was more of a chant, but even that failed to describe what Sarah was hearing. Words were simple things, they had some meaning, but that was that. A means of communicating. These...were not words like that. Every syllable shook the air around him, and the more he spoke, the farther it spread. These sounds had power, and that power felt as old as the world itself. He began to advance on the house again. As he got closer, he kept chanting, ignoring the fact that his back suddenly blazed in blue light, showing an array of tattoos that covered most of the flesh on him. Sarah started, but he opened the door to the house, and walked in. Sarah set April down, and told her to stay there, and took off at a run, wanting to know exactly what the hell was going on. The chant made the old house groan, the air rippling now under each spoken sound, until the ripples folded around a shape. Lilim! Come forth! He shouted, the air making a sound like a scalded cat before enveloping the shape, and dragging it forward. With an audible crack that split the glass of a nearby window, a form not unlike what April had described stood before Nicolas. Binder! You dare? It roared, the language not making any sense to Sarah who was now huddled at the top of the stairs, looking at what her mind told her was impossible. Nicolas faced it without flinching. You are called, and you will be bound here spirit. Accept this, and it will go easier for you. The Lilim simply roared in fury, and seized a table, swinging the wooden construct at Nicolas, fast enough that Sarah shrieked out in fear for him. The table never touched him, Nicolas ducking under it, and reached the knife out, slicing the underside of its arm. The spirit bellowed, the sound making Sarah press her hands to her ears at the volume, but Nicolas wasn't done. He lunged forward, sweeping the blade in a wide arc that passed through the flesh of the Lilim, and his outline broke up, flowing like smoke, and seeping into the blade. It was a howl of desperate fear and denial, that rose to a wail of aeons, before dying away as the form finished soaking into the blade. The tattoos on his body fading away, Nicolas turned to see Sarah. Would you put the water on for tea? I guess I've some explaining to do. He told her with a smile.