Thread: Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc.

Re Chaos Theory Causing Hahvoc. End of a Nightmare - Start of Something Better Eighth grade was tough, but not as rough as the year before. I picked my grades back up to A status and made people notice me for what I was, rather than what they thought. I was changing and people began to notice. They got snapped at when they made fun of me, rather than just a quiet nod and look away. They were scared now of the bitch they had helped create. It also didn't help that the relationship between my father and I changed drastically. I couldn't take his shit anymore and he finally got the point. He lost my trust and I lost what I had of my father. Things wouldn't be the same. He chose his girlfriend over me, his child, when I had been in the right because he had been too much of a pussy to actually tell her off. It was the last straw. It hurt to lose what little we had left, but he deserved it, the cocksucker. Most of my anger was directed at him, but ended up being sent to all those around me that decided to fuck with me. My mother had said that when I was little, there wasn't a drop of anger in my system until my dad demolished my trust. I think back and sometimes wish I wasn't sometimes so quick to ignite. I have a lot more patience now than I did when I started to unleash my anger, but still, sometimes you just snap without wanting to. I was beyond joy when given the opportunity to go to a different school than all my middle school tormentors. It was like seeing paradise after years of darkness. I could go to a different high school! A fresh start! My chance to become someone different, someone I could be proud of. I took the opportunity and got into the tech school, my dreams seeming so close now. Ninth grade was different, but it was certainly exciting. I met a few of my best guy friends that year, and made some of the best friends I have now. I dated a few guys, but I was still in a state of people are worthless, and boys were meant to pass the time if they bothered to ask me out. I didn't care much. After a week, they were gone, just blips on my radar before poofing. It was just how it was in those days. Freshman year treated me kindly compared to all the other years, but I was still so angry. If I got into a fight with my friends, it was explosive and rough, before simmering down to a slow burn that eventually healed. My friends understood my anger, but they still strayed away when they thought I would snap. They kept certain things from me, which aggravated me more, but I had learned to let things go and get them back for it later. I wasn't a bitch anymore, but I got even when the time came around. Sophomore year was much better. I started mellowing out a little, being less volatile and I enjoyed the relief I could get from my soccer career. It was the only sport I played, but when I played, it was like nothing could bother me on that field except what happened during the games. I had no other cares. Life took a back seat. It was during this year that I met my first boyfriend, Mike. He was cute and charming, a foot ball player, but not a jerk. At least, not from what I could glean. I accidentally told him I liked him at the semi-formal dance, thinking my friend Jon had already told him. Boy, had that been a shocker! But still, we ended up dating for roughly two months before he dumped me. The relationship wasn't that good anyways, when I look back on it. He never complimented me and from what I remember, he ended up lying to me a lot and got angry when I wanted to spend a lot of time with him. He taught me that he hadn't loved me, and that fucking my best friend was more worth his time. But I hadn't known and didn't find out for year after we dated. But by then, I didn't care. Shop was fun, I was an electronics major at school and loved every minute of it. I met my best chick friends there, Jesska and Christie Pie, the only other girls in my shop. We were the strangest trio. Christie was valedictorian of our graduating class, Jess struggled just to pass some of her classes, and I was somewhat in the middle, more mild. Jess would bounce from one extreme to the next, being loud and totally out there. Christie was more cutesy and out going. I was quiet with a sharp tongue, but loved their energy. Their positivity canceled out my negative feelings. They were what helped me get through a lot of my problems. Though at first, I hated Jess for being such a bible thumper and trying to convert me every day in class, and Christie seemed too preppy to be worth my time. But Jess calmed her religious ways and Christie and I found a way to connect simple because she was nice. Junior year was rather boring, but the easiest year at school. I had so much fun that year that I was constantly smiling. I didn't need a guy to make me happy and I didn't want one. Though, I was still depressed hearing about my friends' boyfriends and what they would do together. But I just let it go. I didn't need to get caught up in emotions that had no place to begin with. I got by pretty well, doing great with my classes and having great relationships with my friends. I mellowed out quite a bit that year and a lot of my friends noticed. It felt good to let a lot of that anger go, though I still had a lot of it. As the summer came and I finally got to see some of my friends from my town's high school, things began to change again. Only, I wasn't prepared for how much they would change. I met a boy who changed my world.