Thread: BMR's Running Jokes (as far as we can recall their origins)

This was at the beginning of 2009 sometime it evolved over months and months, but this is how it started. Ilovegoatse is a mod and a freak and an all-around transgressive guy. Between him and Misha Hiroki , we've got our scary but friendly quotient pretty much filled. Naturally, they turn out to be the ABSOLUTE BEST people to know. Back before I realized this, of course, I just thought Goaty was like a force of nature to be withstood, endured, but you can't change his course or really affect him in any way. Misha once called nature a force of her, but that's a story for a different post. So I was hanging out in chat, of course, and Goaty was there, and he basically made an entrance by stating he was crawling out of somebody ass. And that somebody just randomly ended up being me. To this day, I have no idea why I got chosen maybe if there was any thought process, he'll share it after this, but right away, I'm reacting with how did I get a butt-son? and he's already calling me Daddy. And, of course, because I'm playing along not happily, precisely, but playing along nonetheless, he decides he doesn't want to come out. He claims he's hiding up there, lurking in my colon. And he starts doing things like punching my prostate, and crawling up higher to beat up my pancreas, things like that. Oh, I tried all sorts of things to get him out. After I found out he had a rough night at the hands of Mr. Bailey's, I told him I was drinking lots of Bailey's to flush him out. But he just hid from the Baileys, and soiled the carpet. I believe that's where it started, the idea that he had furniture and such up there, the idea that my ass was some kind of apartment. It started with the carpet because there was this concurrent joke for a while that he kept soiling the chatroom carpet and we were going to have to get it replaced, and it moved on. Soon he was talking about lava lamps. A zebra-print couch. Black lights on hard rock posters. Oh, yes. There were a few times, you see, where he would say that he snatched somebody and dragged them into his home, i.e. my ass, and usually did something awful to them as is Goaty's wont, and that's when I forbade him to have parties in my ass. Which he then flatly rebelled against. I think I started first thinking of him as a landlord with a troublesome tenant, really that's how the whole accepting the situation dynamic started. But it was when I started to get stern and say things like It's for your own good, son that I really began to accept the whole fatherson dynamic. Because it's fun, you see, and leads to more and more humor if you run with it. Anyway, at one point, after he'd been gathering furniture in his apartment, one night in chat he invited a bunch of people over to see the place. He starts describing what's in there, the animal prints, the artwork, the furniture, and you see, part of the joke is that I can't investigate. I can't see into my own ass, of course very few people can. So I'm just listening to all this, and Goaty is, of course, perversely proud of his horrible, horrible taste, and I just bust out with STOP DECORATING MY ASS LIKE IT'S THE '70's! And of course, Trygon or Vek can't recall which is there, and they go oh, that's too perfect and make it my Title. So I suppose I have Goaty to thank for that, too. I don't know how, or why, but somewhere along in there, I stopped being so adversarial. Somehow, Goaty grew on me, like the fungus spores we finally decided he must have grown out of. And so I went from stern to reasonably indulgent. I suppose I've learned to ride the tsunami that is Goaty, and as a result, much of his antics roll off me. He has gone between horrible '70s decor and horrible '80s decor please note the common keywords, and he is still a lousy tenant. He has done things to my urethra with bees and bullet ants that don't bear considering. He likes to just sit in his apartment and rake the walls with a literal garden rake. But I put up with it. What can I do? He's family. Ilovegoatse is still someone who must be more experienced than described. He has not softened, really. But at the end of the day, he's my little bagel. 3