Whitzz/544K-RP-Datasets huggingface dataset:
Thread: Head Hopping

Pretty soon I'll post a topic on showing versus telling to help clarify that subject for some too. As is, I'm glad that I was able to help. Many authors make this mistake, even seasoned ones. As for the comma between long and black...LOL. Per Chicago Manual of Style, which many publishing companies use, that comma is completely necessary. CMS 6.33 Commas with coordinate adjectives. As a general rule, when a noun is preceded by two or more adjectives that could, without affecting the meaning, be joined by and, the adjectives are normally separated by commas. Example Shelly had proved a faithful, sincere friend. And that concludes the grammar lesson for today.
Thread: Head Hopping

WriteMood said Pretty soon I'll post a topic on showing versus telling to help clarify that subject for some too. As is, I'm glad that I was able to help. Many authors make this mistake, even seasoned ones. As for the comma between long and black...LOL. Per Chicago Manual of Style, which many publishing companies use, that comma is completely necessary. CMS 6.33 Commas with coordinate adjectives. As a general rule, when a noun is preceded by two or more adjectives that could, without affecting the meaning, be joined by and, the adjectives are normally separated by commas. Example Shelly had proved a faithful, sincere friend. And that concludes the grammar lesson for today. Click to expand... Interesting, and I mean that in the sincerest way possible. It's always good to learn something new. Chicago is a style that I'm not familiar with in-depth. I know about the necessity of the comma between your example of adjectives. My understanding is that adjectives of height, color, material, shape, and count do not require the use of a comma. This may be a discussion for another area of BM, though. I believe I'm cluttering up the thread with grammatical debate, but grammar is a difficult and challenging aspect of writing to perfect. There are so many writing styles.
Thread: Head Hopping

Raivh said Interesting, and I mean that in the sincerest way possible. It's always good to learn something new. Chicago is a style that I'm not familiar with in-depth. I know about the necessity of the comma between your example of adjectives. My understanding is that adjectives of height, color, material, shape, and count do not require the use of a comma. This may be a discussion for another area of BM, though. I believe I'm cluttering up the thread with grammatical debate, but grammar is a difficult and challenging aspect of writing to perfect. There are so many writing styles. Click to expand... Simply put, commas are a pain in the rear and my least favorite part of editing. If it makes you feel any better, the only reason I even know that rule is because the line editors kept correcting me until I learned. If it helps, CMS is used by most American and Canadian publishing houses. Not all, granted, but most.
Thread: Head Hopping

I went and looked CMS over. Call me curious. Always willing to learn something new and come away a less ignorant person. It also makes me question one professor and why he taught, well, what my first post stated. But that's a story for another time, as he and I often have heated debates over grammar and, uh, even spellings. Those are regional differences, though. EDIT The order of adjectives in a series. That's the subject I was looking for. It took me forever to recall why I believe as I do about comma placement, and that I think long and black hair sounds just as awkward as black long hairblack, long hair. I believe they're also known as cumulative adjectives. I sent in an inquiry about the subject.
Thread: Head Hopping

To be honest, I've learned to curb many of the behaviors I learned growing up. Two spaces after a period? That's a no-no in the writing world. I'm still trying to decipher the new fetish with em dashes and what their true purpose is. Thus far, I've learned a few things. Em dashes are for cut offs, emphasis on sentences that seem to desire an exclamation point and don't get one, or sentences with too many comma's. The em dash and I are coming to a working relationship, though we still bicker. Don't get me started on the whole disembodied body parts craze that's going on. I have a feeling what you are being taught is likely the collegiate English style, known as MLA format. MLA is confusing, makes no sense, and ends up being useless in the real world unless you write technical papers.
Thread: Head Hopping

MLA is a useless format which should be destroyed. I shall always be a fan of the Chicago system.
Thread: Head Hopping

Never used two spaces after a period. I have been encouraged to use the Oxford serial comma before, which has been eliminated, or so I've heard. And yes, MLA and AP, though my professors now don't care much for any particular style. They're more interested in my visual storytelling. I handle cameras and direct more than I write, and when I do write, it's a shot list or screenplay. Anyway, this has been entertaining and educational, so thanks. Makes me examine character POV and whether or not it's jumping around in my personal work. Good luck with em dash. Only bit I've noted about that from various books is a sudden inserted thought. Sometimes the information seems rather...irrelevant. Still, what's there can be interesting to read from time to time.
Thread: Head Hopping

First off, I love that avatar. Nabooru is greatness! What WriteMood is talking about is the switch from limited to omniscient third person-- also just to switch to someone else's point of view, but try to keep it limited. Limited is typically what one uses in a role-play, because one is often writing from the perspective of their character. To do otherwise would be to jump heads. Even if one were writing a secondary character, a character for the background, there is a risk of hopping heads or switching to omniscient. What he explains is how this happens, and how to avoid it. In his example about the hair, WriteMood explains that to more easily stay in third person limited, one should be mindful of what descriptors one use for their character avoid describing a character in a way that a person would NOT be conscious of doing themselves. Typically, when you flip your hair you don't think, I'm flipping my brown hair right now. Now this is to not say that some authors don't head hop. Some do, and they can be very much professional and popular. Some people view head hopping as a crime, and others not so much. However, just because some people can get away with it, it doesn't mean that everyone can. Point of view is the narration. The narrator is telling the story and typically in fiction it isn't the author. If one's narrator is a character telling the story, which is how it can be in limited, then that's just how it is. When you are telling a friend about that time at the party you don't go, So, I flipped my brown hair, and then shook his hand, and he was thinking that I was beautiful, and my skin glistened with sweat from dancing. Basically, this is just how writing third person limited is, and if you don't like it, that's fine. You should just write exclusively from an omniscient point of view, and be mindful of the normal conventions of role-playing-- an omniscient narrator may know everything, but they don't have to say everything. That's what brings me to my next thought Is role-playing the same as writing a story? I don't think so. I think you need to be able to write, but being able to write doesn't mean you can role-play. I think it's very important to bring crucial elements of writing into role-playing, but I also feel that not very element of proper writing has to be adhered to during a role-play. I think there's a certain flexibility in role-playing, because in some ways it's a more unique medium compared to the rigidness that can be traditional story telling there are nuances and differences in role-playing when contrasted against writing a traditional story. I hope I explained this in a satisfactory way, EVEN if I'm not WriteMood! I'm just a bored guy, who felt like typing some stuff.
Thread: Head Hopping

Nabooru is awesome! I get it now, yes you did a fine job clearing that up, it makes more sense I now fully agree then, but I do enjoy omniscient more so, and my writing often reflects that. Thank you for pointing out that word for me ! Mitsu said You should just write exclusively from an omniscient point of view, and be mindful of the normal conventions of role-playing-- an omniscient narrator may know everything, but they don't have to say everything. Click to expand... Yup, this is more my writing style, in and out of role-playing. I was just going to comment on something that I hate very much when people use an omniscient point of view, I hate reading a section that says Little did heshe know that going into the car was the biggest mistake of a life time. In first person, it would be Little did I know that going into that car was the biggest mistake in my entire life --- I hate it when first person stories explain that they did something dumb in this way, or explain the future on what's going to happen to them, it drive me crazy! It makes me think Well, if you fucking knew this enough to say it, why did you tell me! I get it's written as if a person is telling a past story, but it just sounds so silly to me everything written in passed tense, but sometimes when I'm reading first person, I always forget and think their speaking on the present, especially when there's no cheap intro saying something like 'five years ago I', or whatever to reference the timeline. Also, this can sometimes be good for dramatic effect in third person, though it's pretty stale and would not cause the desired attraction the person wanted unless the reader was ten or seventy, but I also hate it when it's used, and the scene does not end example ... biggest mistake of a life time. TomTam settled into the car and looked at the driver, 'where are we going?'.dodgy Really now? Cue dramatic moral reveal, but then continue on with the scene? My god.
Thread: Head Hopping

As Mitsu pointed out, there is a difference between roleplaying and writing. Or at least, the professional writing that I'm trying to throw guidelines out there for. I'm merely creating these threads to help those that might desire to enter into the publishing world. I work a day job, full time, as an editor and I see many stories that I have to reject because the plot was good, but the writing was crap. It hurts, because I want to send an acceptance. How is an author supposed to know what tohow to improve if no one teaches them? And thus, posting these writing tips was born. Mitsu - Thank you for helping clear that up. And ummm, coughI'magirlcough LOL
Thread: Head Hopping

Princy Cake said Nabooru is awesome! I get it now, yes you did a fine job clearing that up, it makes more sense I now fully agree then, but I do enjoy omniscient more so, and my writing often reflects that. Thank you for pointing out that word for me ! Mitsu said You should just write exclusively from an omniscient point of view, and be mindful of the normal conventions of role-playing-- an omniscient narrator may know everything, but they don't have to say everything. Click to expand... Yup, this is more my writing style, in and out of role-playing. I was just going to comment on something that I hate very much when people use an omniscient point of view, I hate reading a section that says Little did heshe know that going into the car was the biggest mistake of a life time. In first person, it would be Little did I know that going into that car was the biggest mistake in my entire life --- I hate it when first person stories explain that they did something dumb in this way, or explain the future on what's going to happen to them, it drive me crazy! It makes me think Well, if you fucking knew this enough to say it, why did you tell me! I get it's written as if a person is telling a past story, but it just sounds so silly to me everything written in passed tense, but sometimes when I'm reading first person, I always forget and think their speaking on the present, especially when there's no cheap intro saying something like 'five years ago I', or whatever to reference the timeline. Also, this can sometimes be good for dramatic effect in third person, though it's pretty stale and would not cause the desired attraction the person wanted unless the reader was ten or seventy, but I also hate it when it's used, and the scene does not end example ... biggest mistake of a life time. TomTam settled into the car and looked at the driver, 'where are we going?'.dodgy Really now? Cue dramatic moral reveal, but then continue on with the scene? My god. Click to expand... No problem! I just know a little bit about writing, so I figured I'd speak up. I'm just happy to be helpful. WriteMood said As Mitsu pointed out, there is a difference between roleplaying and writing. Or at least, the professional writing that I'm trying to throw guidelines out there for. I'm merely creating these threads to help those that might desire to enter into the publishing world. I work a day job, full time, as an editor and I see many stories that I have to reject because the plot was good, but the writing was crap. It hurts, because I want to send an acceptance. How is an author supposed to know what tohow to improve if no one teaches them? And thus, posting these writing tips was born. Mitsu - Thank you for helping clear that up. And ummm, coughI'magirlcough LOL Click to expand... You're welcome. Sorry! I knew you were a woman too! I just wasn't even thinking. I'm really sorry!
Thread: Head Hopping

LOL, I'm not offended. No need to apologize. It's completely fine. I actually find it amusing. With the usernames on here, sometimes it is really hard to tell a gender.
Thread: Head Hopping

It's just that I've looked at your profile, and saw that you listed your gender as Female! So, it's kind of embarrassing for me to make that mistake. However, I'm glad that it all turned out okay. I was hoping I actually knew what I was talking about, and wouldn't sign on to find a wall of text explaining why I didn't! Everything I know is self-taught, so I have to try and balance that with my predilection to explain things. I'm interested about your thoughts on writing dialogue.
Thread: Head Hopping

Hmmm, thank you! You just gave me the inspiration for my Writer Wednesday post! I'll be making a thread on dialogue tomorrow. Hugs
Thread: Head Hopping

Not a problem! Glad to be of service. -hugs- I'll try to think of another suggestion to throw out when I read tomorrow-- I look forward to it.
Thread: Radcliffe Academy for Elite Youths

While it was a school of elites, it was a known fact that everyone knew the mundane details of everyone's life. There was a mystery to the entire school, but that which was obvious, was not at all a secret. So it was no secret that mostly everyone knew of the student arriving in the middle of the year. Since new students tended to come at the beginning of the year or the beginning of the second semester, it was uncommon for one to join during the year. It actually was almost impossible but given that the students' parents were in fact very rich, well known and had enough power to get their kids into this school, at the same time it wasn't surprising that this new student got admission in the middle of the year. First semester had already started and it was almost November. It was the time when the school had settled down and the real mysteries began. Disappearances. Kidnappings. Going underground. They did turn up...eventually. Who was next? Charlie walked into the campus, eyes looking up at the big iron wrought gates that seemed to go up for miles and miles. As the hazel eyes looked around, peering between the bars and seeing the grand castle mansion that was the Radcliffe Academy for Elite Youths, the young junior walked through and towards the dorms. There were four buildings, dedicated to dorms. One for the Freshmen, one for the Sophomores, one for the Juniors and the other for Seniors. There were two wings in each building. One wing was dedicated to females, the other dedicated to males. All dorms were on one side of the campus while the other side of campus were classrooms and offices. Then, in the middle was a grand hall which served as a more upscale version of a cafeteria but it was mostly where everyone would dine for their three meals. When it was not in use for dining, it was also the place for a lot of the school's events like dances and parties, even charities. Charities kind of came with the status of being an Elite. A hand came up to brush aside dark brownish black locks of hair from those entrancing hazel eyes. As those gentle yet strong hands settled in pockets, Charlie continued on towards the Junior dorms and headed towards the West Wing, which was the housing for the males. After reaching the dorm, Charlie realized that if there were to be any roommates, they had not yet arrived. Taking this time, Charlie locked the door and put one of the bags on the bed and opened it, revealing a different set of clothes. Zipping the bag up, the young teen moved it aside, under the bed and went out of the dorm, going to explore a little bit. After placing gloves on the hands that might as well be a little bit lethal, Charlie left the dorm and went on an exploration. There had been some interesting rumors about the school, about its secret clubs and secret actions. Perhaps Charlie was a little bit more than intrigued and a little bit more than curious. An expedition to find out the truth. Hence the disguise. Going somewhere where no guy ever truly went.
Thread: Radcliffe Academy for Elite Youths

Rafe was racing towards the quad, the main meeting point past the front gate. There was a large fountain in the middle of the quad with stone seats and a number of hedgerows and bushes and some fine marble statues. He was late to where he was supposed to be, which was out in front of the quad, to meet and greet the new student, touring them around. He had been late dressing up and now he was going to regret it. In a school that prides itself on the maturity and responsibility of its students, enough to have them do clerical work and handle files, screw ups were frowned upon quite heavily. And to Rafe's horror, no one was there. Well, maybe the new kid hadn't gotten here yet. He cursed for a bit before sitting down and pulling a spiral out of his briefcase to work on some notes. If the new student didn't show, he'd just have to bite the bullet and tell someone that he messed up. Rafe's face wasn't used to frowning or scowling like it was. But it was his own fault. He had handsome, youthful features, being seventeen and a junior, he had the vigor of youth in him. Short silvery hair, fair skin, if perhaps the tiniest bit pale, and bright green eyes marked him as did the distinctive blue jacket and slacks of the school's uniform.
Thread: Radcliffe Academy for Elite Youths

There was information that Charlie was to meet up with someone who would help to learn the campus. So instead of actually exploring solo, Charlie walked over to the fountain in the middle of the quad and saw a single soul there. Walking up to him, the young one kept those gloves hands in the pockets and confines of the slacks worn. Um...Hey. I'm Charlie. I am not entirely sure if I should be talking to you but I am the new student. So...hopefully you're the person to show me around. If not, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't kick my ass. In the months taken to prepare for this moment, Charlie learned from Marshall and Todd, brother, training under them on the art of being...well manly.
Thread: Radcliffe Academy for Elite Youths

Rafe looked up and lifted an eyebrow at that unusual greeting. Did you transfer here from public school? That was an inside joke, most of the students here had never seen a public school, and likely never would, their families were rich and affluent. Rafe put his spiral away and closed his briefcase, extending his hand to the new student. I'm Rafe and...in general most of the ass kicking is done in the gym. Swimming, fencing, archery, basketball, soccer, track, and the other sports are were asses are kicked, there's even a shooting range a bit away from the school for skeet shooting and target shooting. There are fights, to be sure, but they are rare and if one happens, you're sure to hear about it. At this school we don't behave like barbarians and start fights. Don't get me wrong, we have dicks and assholes, but they're a little more subtle and professional. He motioned for Charlie to follow as her started in the main hall and stopped by the receptionist's area to pick up some forms and the new student's first uniform. There's a campus store for pretty much anything but fast food and porn. If you want those, you have to go into town. It's a bit of a way, but you can take a bike and campus buses go between there and here every thirty minutes. They stop at nine, so make sure you're back by then, and lights out is at ten. You have to be at your dorm at ten sharp. After that there's a security patrol, mostly made up of seniors. He gave Charlie some papers that included the school schedule and a guide to the clubs at school. Almost everyone is in a club. It's encouraged, but not necessary. And there's plenty of clubs so chances are you'll find one you like. If nothing else, the School Club is pretty helpful for meeting people, and you can feel good about enriching the school. There's a lot of pride and loyalty here. A number of the clubs had some stringent requirements in seniority, grades, or even only allowing one gender into the club.
Thread: Radcliffe Academy for Elite Youths

Charlie raised a brow. Um... Not entirely sure how one should respond to that, especially since it didn't quite comprehend what this guy meant about that question. Public school? What was so wrong with it. They all shared the same educational missions, though perhaps more expensive school like this one were a little bit stricter about it since they had money and social standing and status. Oy, what the hell have I gotten myself into? was the lingering thought replaying in Charlie's mind now, beginning to think that this entire thing was a huge mistake, just by that one question. He made it seem like public school was a disease, officially insulted. As he motioned, Charlie followed, going with him to pick up a uniform and there on continuing this tour. It was vastly interesting, slightly boring and not at all what was on point. Charlie was thinking of the mysteries of the school, rumors that had been going around since admission and still, there had yet been answers given. What kind of clubs are there exactly? I mean I understand there are the typical and obvious ones but surely there's more to that, yes? This school does have a reputation, I understand, but this school is also clouded by mystery and rumors. Care to venture?