Thread: Mr. Manuscript

I thought I should just put this explanation down for all to interpret as they will. It's something that I've had to explain once or twice, so it seems relevant that I ought to have it in print so I can just point to it in the future. I have something of a polyamorous mindset. This is not to say that I have ever been in a polyamorous relationship occasional threesomes don't really count, unfortunately, but more to say that my brain doesn't have a problem with it. Let me explain. Back when I was in college, and my views on sex and sexuality were really being explored, I came to several viewpoints through my experiences oh, incidental tip you know the geek dorm in your college or uni? May well have been a bubbling cauldron of sexuality under all those bad haircuts and Star Trek paraphernalia, which seem very simple, but which relate directly to my development. Those include love and sex are two different tracks and occasionally they don't interact the way you think they're going to for me, friendship love is not actually all that measurably different from romantic love, as far as my reactions go and sex between friends, when all parties are aware of the situation and standards, can be perfectly workable, and can tighten certain friendships, even. The sex issues are always fun to talk about, and I do have a number of stories directly related to my college experiences, but really, the most significant element is the idea that friendship is not always different from romance. Add a few years and a few other learning experiences, and I get the sudden realization that I'm not actually entirely un-polyamorous. You know how some people are in love with party A, then they meet party B, and they start falling for party B, so they fall out of love with party A? Yes, my time spent in law offices is showing. But the point is, those people love serially, and it's the classic viewpoint that you can really only love one person at a time. But while I understand and respect that viewpoint, it doesn't work that way for me. I can be in love, and fall in love, and not fall out of love with either of the others. I love... additionally. And let me tell you, after a lifetime of loving additionally? This has caused no end of problems. Honestly, if I could alter that aspect of my nature, I would. And there are many things that I have changed in myself over the years bad habits corrected, unhelpful behaviors modified andor stopped. But certain things are wired in the brain chemistry for some folks, and something that is alterable for one person might not be alterable for another related to my tenet that the world is always more complex than you think. So this is something I kind of have to live with. And I try and keep from getting close enough where it would become an issue, but I do tend to have an open heart, and I don't mean for the bypass surgery. So it's a risk. But now you know. And that's half the battle. Oh, the polyamory is entirely unconnected with any form of bisexuality. I actually have no problem with bisexuals, because I don't see sexuality as a two-state toggle, but a dial. There's a continuum, and people can be at any point along it. For me, when contemplating the question of homosexual activity, I like to put it in scientific terms I can get behind the physics, but I just can't understand the chemistry. The simple fact of the matter is, my appreciation of a fine male specimen doesn't extend to actually wanting to be with one intimately. Not unless there's a fine female in the mix, and then there's negotiations to be performed. So there's that. And this concludes my embarrassing-personal-sexual-fact post. At least my first one.