Thread: The Death Of Jack Johnson (short film script)

The Death of Jack Johnson this is a script for a short film that is going to be used for a video of short storyfilms some of it i kind of shorthand wrote out when i typed it into the comp sorry bout that but would love to have feedback on this. It includes a lot o camera movement stuff i wasn't sure if i should of changed it more to story form or not before posting it here hope you all enjoy and again would love feedback on it good or bad but if telling me what's wrong with it please be polite and constructive with any critique of it thanks The film starts outside, Jake is carrying a bag and a gallon of milk. Its dark out. John walks into building and in hallway he struggles to pull keys out of his jacket without putting anything down. He unlocks the door to the apartment and opens the door walking in. He pushes the door closed with his back once he is inside. There are two books closed up in front of him and a laptop open on top of them with a message written on it he puts the bag and milk down and walks over to read whats on the laptop screen. Camera looks back and forth from his face and the screen. Female voice narrates whats written on the screen Jack Im sorry to do this to you like this. And have to have used your own laptop to write this to you. Im leaving you Jack. Ive already told he landlord that Im moving the rent is paid up to the end of the month seeing you cant afford to stay here on your own and that apartments in my name you have that long to get yourself moved out. I left two boxes ill be back to get them while your at work tomorrow then I am handing in my key make sure to hand in yours when your all moved out. Again Im sorry to do this to you like this but its just not working out Im not really attracted to you. We barely see each other with our schedules anyway and I found someone else. I know the landlord is not available when your out of work and you never met him he said just leave your key in the mailbox. Please dont try to look for me its time to move on. Jacks face has a blank stair on it. He picks up the groceries and puts them in the fridge and then pulls out a bottle of alcohol and pours a shot and drinks it. He walks back to the laptop and picks it up typing something on it and places it back on the counter. He then takes another shot and brings the bottle with him to the bathroom and puts it on the ledge of the bathtub. He then walks back into the other room and picks up a box cutter out of a draw. Bringing the box cutter back into the bathroom he places it on the ledge of the tub next to the bottle. He then goes to the cupboard and gets a bottle of pills and places it on the ledge as well. He walks over to the sink and runs the water for a moment and splashes a little water on his face and looks deeply at himself in the mirror. He walks out of the room camera stays in the room and goes from the door back to the bathtub looking at what things were placed on the edge of the bathtub and then back to the door. As Jack re-enters the bathroom with a few candles he places them around the room and lights them. He then turns the bath water on and takes his shirt off and fold it placing it on top of the toilet seat. He pours some bubble bath stuff into the tub as it fills up and puts his hand under the water to check the temp of the water and adjusts the temp as needed. He then goes to the radio that is in the bathroom and pushes a button on it. dont really use the radio , overdub music in editing process Jack takes off his pants folds them and places them on the toilet seat. Camera stays pointed at the cloths on the seat until Jack tosses his underwear on top of the cloths. Camera slowly turns focusing along the edge of the tub moving along the room slowly it pulls back with Jack getting into the tub with his back toward the camera. Once he is in he leans back and lets out a sigh. He closes his eyes for a moment then opens them again he reaches for the bottle of alc. And takes a drink from it. He pauses for a moment still holding the bottle in his hands then taking a bit bigger o a gulp. He puts his arm down letting the bottle rest partially in the water. Go to a scene filmed in the other room the front door slowly creeks open. A man in all black and a mask comes in and slowly closes the door being careful not to make to much sound. He has a bag in his hand he starts looking around the house opening draws and looking in them. Go back to the scene in the bathroom of jack in the tub he takes another drink from the bottle and then looks at the edge of the tub. He puts the bottle down on the floor outside the tub and picks up the pill bottle and looks at it. He then puts it back down and picks up the blade and slowly pushing up the blade and looking deeply at it. Back out in the house camera sees the masked man putting things of value into the bag. He knocks something over at this point film is in split screen showing whats going on in both rooms the masked man stops in his tracks and looks around while at same time Jacks head turns fast toward the bathroom door he looks at the blade in his hand and starts to get up from tub goes back to one full screen on masked man he starts to go back to grabbing things unaware anyone heard him. Back to bathroom close up on Jacks hand pulling a bathrobe off of a towel rack. Camera slowly pulls back catching the last moment of Jack putting on the robe as he ties it closed. He walks over to the door he is stumbling just a little to the door he puts his ear to the door. Goes back to masked man behind him you see the door behind him slowly open and Jack slowly creeping out behind the masked man with the box cutter in his hand. He bumps into a chair and the masked man spins around and knocks the blade out of Jacks hand . He pulls a gun from the front of his pants where he had it tucked in. he goes to point it at Jack but Jack ducks back through the door he had come out of camera switches to in the bathroom Jack back against the wall as the masked man walks in Jack grabs his arm and they struggle around Jack manages to knock the masked man backwards into the tub as he falls down himself onto the floor outside the tub. The masked man tried to get the gun pointed up but jack quickly grabs the masked mans hand and forces the gun back toward the masked man camera points only at Jacks face as gun fires. Comes back to look at masked man bleeding not moving Jack starts to check the masked mans pockets and pulls out a wallet he looks at the drivers license in the wallet he pulls the mask off the guy and then back to the license he smiles and walks out of the room leaving his cloths and the maskwallet with him as he left the room. He empties the bag the masked man put together and puts everything back in place. He grabs any photos of himself and puts them into the bag. And puts the wallet of the other man onto the table in place of his own. Camera fades and comes back in with Jack fully dressed walking down the street he tosses the mask into a trashcan and smiles. Camera fades and a short scene of a girl taking the two boxes out of the apartment she glances at laptop but doesnt read whats on the screen with words Later that week Fades in on a detective reading the note on the screen. Detective 1 I cant go on without you Ive decided to take my own life. I lost you and my job today so unless some miracle occurs to convince me my life should go on then tonight will be my last night. Love Jack The detective turns to the other detective Detective 2 Neither note has this guys last name I guess we have to find the guys ex to get his name and notify his family I talked to the landlord he doesnt even know the guys last name either. while picking up the wallet and looking inside Detective 1 Here we go Jack Johnson well no need going any further case closed suicide and a name to notify the family shame though to bad Jack didnt get is Miracle sign to keep him from taking his life Detective 2 All to often they dont. this is my second suicide this week what a waste Fades to a scene of Jack on a payphone voice on the other end. Voice Mr. Jack Freemont thanks for your interview the other day and calling us back so soon. We would like you to come down as soon as you can for a orientation your our pick for the job. How soon can you come down? Could you come in tonight? Jack yeah! Voice thats great you can start right away if your able our fill in we were using is just not working out Jack Great Ill see you soon. He hangs up the phone and smiles as the camera fades out end of film