Thread: My Bakery~ Updates on RPs and a bit of Cynicism

RE My Bakery serving fresh muffins daily I think everyone experiences child, selfish feelings every once in a while. I'm experiencing one right now. I know better, but I can't help how I feel, you know? I can't exactly talk to anyone I know personally about this, so I'm going to vent this year. If you're reading, haha, thanks for reading my thread if not, you technically won't be reading this. Anywho... Friends are very dear to me. I've never been very social, but when I get close to someone, I hold them close to my heart. I can probably name... maybe a handful of friends from childhood to now, who I hold near and dear to my heart. I'd have even more, if only they'd return. I'm a very caring person and if someone returns the feeling, I will love them til the day I die. The person I'm talking about is actually a friend turned boyfriend turned ex turned friend of mine. Funny thing is... we were predominantly a long distance couple, yet I don't think there is anyone who just instinctively knows me better than he does. I'd like to think vice versa... I can read him like a book and you could quiz me on everything about him, I could probably tell you. We met almost 5 years ago. He was an English guy and I was American. We were playing the same MMO when we met. He was jokingly bashing Americans but thanks to the internet... I couldn't sense his sarcasm and got a bit offended. We ended up arguing. As fate would have it... we ended up joining the same guild a few weeks later. He needed money to borrow for a once in a lifetime deal weapon and since I had money to burn and I'm such a nice person, I lent him the money. He promised to pay me back, and somehow I ended up doing something to help him earn the money... I think it was farming herbs and making stuff to sell. But yeah, over that time, we ended up becoming friends. We started playing the game together, we were practically inseparable. Apparently for a good chunk of this time he was trying to subtly tell me he liked me but it took me months to realize that he liked me. Coincidentally I had grown to like him too. We never mutually discussed it or anything... we just fell into a relationship eventually and later decided a vague date for our anniversary. We dated for about almost 2 years while I struggled to save up money to fly over there and visit him. If things went smoothly together when together in person, then I'd make the plans to move to England to be with him. But making money was tough, my parents wouldn't help me fly over seas to meet a guy I met on the internet understandable. He eventually grew tired, and said our relationship clearly wasn't going anywhere and said we needed a break. I didn't hold my breath. It's now been 2 years later since our break up and we did remain friends. I think at random points in time throughout the years he may have developed slight feelings for me, but I never took the bait if there was any he broke up with me and we'd just be back at square one. Still, I tried to maintain our friendship. But now I'm feeling like I've been replaced. I know and realize he's going to get other girlfriends, that's not the issue. I guess I just wished that even though I was no longer his girlfriend, since we had such a bond and knew each other so well, that he'd still consider me a close and dear friend. But I'm starting to feel like I'm not. Every time I play with him in MMOs, or get into group chats... I'm treated like an acquaintance, not just by him, but by his other friends. This is where my childish side comes in. I don't blame any of the people, I really don't, but I can't stand being treated like I hardly know this guy whom I've known longer than these people. Seriously. I don't even obsess over this stuff but I can still point out very minimal details of our relationship even as just friends. I know his birthday, his brothers, his best friends, I helped him with school projects, I supported him when he was going through the difficulty of transitioning from college to the work force, I can name all of his favorite bands, his favorite movie and WHY its his favorite movie, his favorite movie. Even just by the words he types I can tell how he's feeling and responding. Much much more. I know him. Hell, I know things he didn't even tell his best friends. Then I get invited to a party with him and his friend , or girlfriend, I dunno, she followed him around like a loyal puppy, I assumed girlfriend. And I was treated like I didn't know him. She said something like Oh its our little American friend Our ? Little ? I've played one game with you... once . You say it as if ya'lls relationship with me is on par with each other. No lady. You've met me once, but him and I? We've known each other for years. I've known him longer than you have. I'm his American friend. I'm your acquaintance . I am probably one of the people who knows him best. And he may not realize it, but he knows me well too. And then she in a sense... spoke for him. She'd tell me about him . As if I had just met him and was now learning about him. It was very us we he him from her, like as if I was interested in their shenanigans. I feel replaced as a person. I probably have been replaced. She's probably the new me. The chick who's supposed to know him better than he knows himself and speaks for him etc. When I'm sure I probably know him better. I've known the dude for almost 5 years.