Thread: What Might Have Been (AndNich123 & Reydan)

It was hard to see Jenny like this. Everything she had said was true. They were each other's....pilots....in the adventures they undertook. There was no one she would rather have flown with, to experience them with, even Charles. Charles has....had....his special place in her heart. So did Jenny. She had found that with this family when she thought she couldn't possibly love them any more than she already did, they surprised her by making her fall even more in love with them still. She had mentioned the kiss. That night, the memory, all came flooding back to her. She could even smell the alcohol. Years had long ago washed away so many memories, but this one came flooding back within seconds. She remembered Jenny as being nervous about the entire thing. Perhaps her memory was failing her. Maybe she wanted to remember it that way. Jenny was never shy about anything in her memories, except this. Her lips had even trembled slightly as she pressed her lip glossed stained lips to hers'. Jenny's perfume had filled her nose. Even the music that was softly playing in the background came back to her. Sadly her words to her that immediately followed the kiss came back to her as well. Even as they played out in her mind, she softly spoke them. We will never leave you behind. Her eyes closed tightly for a moment before looking up to Jenny. We didn't. I did, but....I didn't. You were always....right there with me. Quickly she added, still are, before looking away. This whole family....still is. It's the only thing....that has remained with me. It's the only thing..... Shaking her head, she couldn't finish the sentence. It was a part of her heart she just wasn't ready to share. You didn't deserve the pain that gave you. Nobody in this family did. The things she was telling her were the truth, but she couldn't help but feel as though the words sounded like nothing more than a script from a movie or a television show. She couldn't help but feel as though they were coming across as nothing more than words. There was feeling behind them, but they felt muted and dull. If they felt that way to her, then she could only imagine how they must be coming across to Jenny. Taking a deep breath, she hauled herself up to her feet. Jenny I never deserved you or Charles. This family gave me more love than I thought possible. Even saying those words, I wanna say how cheesy, how fake, they sound, but they are the truth. There is nothing I can say that won't sound that way. I can say that I kept Charles'..... Again she stopped, not ready to share this part of her life with anyone. Hate me for the rest of your life Jenny, if you want to. I honestly wouldn't blame you. Finding courage she didn't know she had, her eyes meet the gaze that Jenny allowed her to have. I made a mistake leaving the way I did. I thought that..... Again her voice trailed. There it was again. That brick wall she just couldn't get past yet. I didn't....think. Clearly....I didn't think, she told her, her face, a painted picture, showing the emotions were catching up to her. Her eyes were glassy, and her cheeks burned red. I'm sorry Jenny, and I'll say I'm sorry for the rest of my life. She took a deep breath. For the rest of my life Jenny. My life. It was almost.....it was almost....and all I thought about....was this family. Still, whatever time I have left on this earth I will spend apologizing to you, and if you never....ever....forgive me....then that's ok. I understand, and....I deserver it. The thought of running away again came to mind, but quickly she pushed it away. In talking to Jenny, she had found some sort of strength. It was keeping her to the spot she stood instead of racing down the stairs and away, away from the pain, away from the responsibility of owning up to the consequences of her actions. She had left the way she did, shattering lives, and now it was time to begin to put the pieces back together of that. Perhaps it was time to start putting the pieces back together....of everything. She wanted to push the door open and embrace her, hold her tight, and try to push all of this the back burner for just a moment, but she would respect Jenny's wishes. If this crack in the door was all she was willing to give her, then she would take it. If this moment would be the only time she was willing to talk to her, then she would gladly take it and hope that her words had reached her somewhere deep inside. If this was the last time Jenny was going to talk to her, then she wouldn't fight what she wanted to say. Jenny, Charles and are going out tonight. Nothing fancy. Just hanging out at Joe's. You don't have to answer now, but....if you want to....would you like to come with us? For one night, all of us together again, hanging out, having good food. She knew it wouldn't be enough to put everything back the way it was. After all, it was only one night. At the same time, it was a step forward, and if she was honest with herself, a step forward felt....good. Think about it Jenny, and if you decide to come, I'll see you then. Okay? She turned and headed for the stairs. Before starting down them, she glanced back to Jenny's door. Thank you for listening to me. It meant a lot. I am so sorry Jenny. Really. With those words, she gave her a smile and began down the stairs. For the first time in a long time, she felt....lighter. There was a smile on her face. Could it have been from finally speaking what was in her heart? Maybe it was from telling a truth that she knew needed to be spoken. Perhaps secrets that she held in the shadows of her heart needed to be brought to light. Maybe it was time. Charles came into view as she entered the garage. Her smile grew. The light illuminated her frame standing there in the doorway as she gazed at the two men inside. Just like old times. You two out here hard at work. It's a good sight. It's a really good sight. She shifted her focus to just Charles as she stood there, not moving inside the garage. I'm gonna head on home while you two work on mom's car. I think the walk home will do me good. Nothing like the fresh air of this place. Believe me. I think it's healing....being here. So I'll see you later. She turned to leave, but stopped, spinning on her heels. Daniel, we're going to Joe's tonight. I asked Jenny if she wanted to would she come along. That goes for you too you know. It would be great to have everybody there. Think about it. Bet I can still drink you under the table, she teased, allowing the smile on her face to be accompanied by a laugh. It was a genuine laugh. It was real, and it felt....amazing. I'll see you guys later....I hope, she added. Pausing for a moment before taking off, she softly sighed. I hope, she said, her voice gaining a warmth that spread into her being. With that, she began the trek back home with a smile on her face and hope in her heart.