Whitzz/544K-RP-Datasets huggingface dataset:
Thread: Dark Dreams (A/A's and Journal)

May 9th, 2015 I have to say that today was stranger than others. Reconnected with people I once knew, but that wasn't what was strange for me. Today, I realized that I am completely free from things and people in my past. Oh yes, there is still a chance of interacting with them, but I realized that I'm not bound by the things they did in my life. I'm free, I'm not bound by the chains that held my wings of fancy so tightly. Yes, I have a bit of writers block, easily removed I only owe four posts over all the sites I roleplay on. I joined a few new games, plotted a few new games... The usual stuff. But even with the writers block, I find myself sitting and musing over the things in my life. I have a beautiful daughter, and a loving husband. A husband that works hard to support us, and I am working myself to help support us. I have a GED with Honors, which is damn good considering the difficulties I have faced in life. I realized that each thing that has happened, good or bad, it has been a step on this journey to my discovery. As a result, it was very easy for me to realize that I am no longer bound by the things that once bound me. I realized that I am truly free for once. Yes, I still get nightmares and self doubt from all that has happened... but I am me - I am not what someone else made me to be. I have grown into my own woman, and I have actually realized that I am proud of who I am. So here is a thank you, whether for good or bad - you are the people that made me who I am. You influenced what I grew into, even though I made the conscious choice of what those things did in effecting me. Even if I still want to say fuck you to a few people, at the same time I will smile politely and say thank you. Even to the ones that broke me.
Thread: Dark Dreams (A/A's and Journal)

Does no good to focus on the past. Very nice to see you doing so well, TDM. It sounds like you've got a lot to be proud of and those things in the past, those decisions you made, should no longer hold your focus. Rear view wave to them, baby! I went through changes of my own over the years. It's a lifted weight when you realize what you are willing to tolerate and holding yourself accountable to say no to anything that doesn't fit that standard. In fact, some of my most freeing moments were when I completely cut out toxic people in my life. Sounds like you've made those steps in your own life and I applaud your strength. Enjoy the benefits. Leave the past buried.
Thread: Dark Dreams (A/A's and Journal)

Thank you for stopping in Rudolph! At some instances you are correct, these things are better left behind. Sometimes I just allow the individuals to remain as passing individuals in my life. I will not directly interact with them unless I have to, because we have mutual friends that I simply said I'm no longer friends with X, because of Y - I will not make you pick your friends, but know that if X shows up at anytime... I will leave unless I am unable to go. Which almost all of my friends are intelligent enough to take it as it is, and not go HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME PICK - I'm a lucky duck duck with that one. Honestly I am proud of what I have done. I love the work I have done, and I wish I could love the job I have at BurgerKing... it's not really that great of a job - but I apparently won't be flipping burgers ANYTIME soon... Apparently I'm getting front of the lined for Drive Through, Guest Ambassador, and Front counter. Being pretty, clear of speech - calm of head - and capable of smiling and not ripping throats out... well apparently that has made me prime bait for the places where I have to interact with people most. But I don't mind that, as it's just a stepping stone of jobs. With something like this under my belt - it will be easier to get jobs in the future. I just have to remember to keep a firm notation of all the work I do there -and how it applies to a resume... as well as references and all sorts of other details. I'm pretty big on keeping track of such things. I'm honestly hoping for the Walgreens job... because ahhh well I get medical with that... XD But thanks Quin, it's nice to see you around still - I DO remember you from all those years ago. XP
Thread: Dark Dreams (A/A's and Journal)

I don't buy into the good job, bad job hype. Like I should feel ashamed of putting in hard work, using my strengths, and getting paid. Goddamned capitalist, materialistic tripe. I'm a cashier at a grocery store by the way and my most genuine description of what I do is I get to push buttons and make friends all day. And I get to talk about food, which is my fav subject. So, if you can find something to enjoy about your job, I'd consider it a plus, no matter where you work. Wave those dolla dolla bills in their faces as they try to tell you what you should want for yourself. As far as mutual friends goes with the cutting out toxic people, I had a similar situation with my grandparents. Judgmental, holier-than-thou, stubborn and crotchety old people. There is nothing good for me either during interactions with them or being in the same room as them no positivity, no fulfillment. Nothing. My mother and my siblings understand since they all still interact with the grandparents and invite them to birthdays and the like. They know it's not a slight against them if I'm not around when those people are. I'm not going to put any one else in the middle of that war, especially when there will never be reconciliationjust recently, my mother gushed on FB about what great friends we are and how much she adores me in her life and my grandmother commented on her status saying That's nice. Seriously, who the fuck does that??? Wow, totally going for the gold convincing everyone you're not a total bitter bitch, grandma. . Anyway, tldr, I get it. Ignore is your friend and you gotta do what's right for you. Don't allow yourself to get down and dirty with those who do not uplift you and who do not make you the person you want to be when you're around them. Another thing I've stopped buying into you owe somebody a response or a moment of your time. Because you don't.
Thread: Dark Dreams (A/A's and Journal)

Well it's not a matter of Good Job, Bad Job it's a matter that BurgerKing isn't exactly utilizing the full skillset I developed on my resume for the plethora of Convention work I have done. I would prefer Walgreens because it would be more flexible with my hours, they actually support me being a mother - where as the interviewer at Burger King wasn't too pleased about it As by law they are required to give extra types of time off to parents. Walgreens was all for it, and completely understood my availabilities. Plus, as I said, Walgreens offers medical coverage - which would be way better than the state covered medical. We could choose our Doctor, Choose our Dentist - and possibly get more help than we currently are getting. I even have the chance of full time at Walgreens Sure I'd be working like 4 10 hr days... but whatevs! - which would pull me and my husband, and our daughter, out of the Foodstamps system. The good news is that a lot of the toxic people I have cut out are people I haven't had to see in years. They still effect how I think sometimes, in wondering if I am doing the right thing - and some of them still haunt my nightmares... but who doesn't have that sort of sordid past detail that doesn't pop up periodically? I am sorry to hear about your situation with your grandparents, I only have one living grandparent genetically - and three by marriage. My mothers husband, his mother is considered my Gramma... and then I have my husbands two grandmothers... So it's kinda sweet in a way. I'm still in shock that his little ol grammy crocheted an entire set for my daughter to be worn after she was born. I was so happy to get that little hat and shawl - well two of them - we still have them actually. LOL... But family and friends can be rough, the good ones are the ones willing to respect your wishes.
Thread: Dark Dreams (A/A's and Journal)

May 10th, 2015 Mother's day, it's still very strange that I am actually a mother. A few years ago this was the month I found out several things, and had to make hard choices in the June that followed. July was a change for me as well. But this is the second year, the second year that I have had a Mother's Day... And I was so happy to see the love on the faces of the people I know. So many people messaged me, wishing me a happy mothers day. It made me so happy. I got texts, calls and all sorts of things. Which reminds me that I have to get in touch with a few people. Being a mother has been a wonderfully mellowing experience for me. The love I feel for my daughter has made it very hard to dwell much on darker things from my past. She is the light in the darkness, the child that I have dreamed of. Nightmares and Dreamscapes, that's something else on my mind. Since recently I have had a few rather terrifying nightmares. For the sake of propriety I will not get into much detail on them. They involve things, people, and events from my past... but that is just that... the past. Dwelling on it will only make it worse. I work Saturday and Sunday, as a definite. So that is good. Later this week I'll find out if I got the Walgreens job, I am honestly really hoping I get it.
Thread: Dark Dreams (A/A's and Journal)

I'll update you all as soon as I can. I have been hit by a stack of writers block, things I have to catch up on - and just general life stressors.
Thread: Dark Dreams (A/A's and Journal)

May 11th,2015 - May 18th, 2015 Well... Things have certainly been chaotic. Tons of details to give out, but not sure exactly how to phrase all of them. Things at the house are stable, mostly. We are working hard to make up the money we have had to put out that we didn't have when my husband was only getting 16 hour weeks. His work has definitely increased his schedule, and his next paycheck will be quite nice. Unfortunately, my first paycheck will not be nice. I am only getting about 9 ish hours on that check. It's because the paycheck on the 25th is only from the 1st-15th of the month. I have to leave a note with my husband so he'll be able to pick up my check on the 10th of June - that check covers the 15th of May to the end of May. Lucky me, I'm feeling a little put off honestly. But my trip in June will help change a lot, hopefully. I generally make a surprising amoutn of money while there. The friend I am visiting is taking me to Atlantic City, on his dime because he misses how much he used to make with me as his luck charm. I am also going to a huge illusionist magic show on the saturday after I get there. Two of my long term friends want to meet up the second week I am there, and I am hopefully visiting my adopted brother. Weaning my daughter is going alright, soon will be the hard point as we will be cutting out ALL of her nursings on wednesday. Now she is down to having sippy cups of milk, watered down juice, gatorade, and water. She really likes gatorade and milk. Sometimes she likes her watered down juice, and she LOVES smoothies when we go to Starbucks. Lucky me, I have a kid that is actually quite the health nut. She'll turn her nose up at a cookie if you offer her a cracker. Smart kid, love her for it. Work has been signing me up for more hours, trying to negotiate my visit to my girl crush. Which is actually quite a happy thing for me. I can't wait for the future. I know this isn't much of an update considering how long it took me, but it's something. My girl crush knows I'm crushing on her, and she said she is fine with it... but it's causing some chaos with me because she is now teasing the ever living hell out of me. As a note I work Friday, and Saturday. I have to figure out on Friday if I work sunday... As well as find out the rest of the schedule as well. I told them I'd work any shift, and any day other than mondays or tuesdays. Lucky me, thank the gods they listened to my plea for my family.
Thread: Dark Dreams (A/A's and Journal)

May 19th, 2015 I'm having a bit of an emotional day, losing some games because partners are unable to do so at this time which is ok, as well as finding out some pretty heavy stuff about people I care about. Other than that... I'm mostly emotional because soon enough my child and I are going through a large step in her growth process. Tonight marks the last night I will nurse her at all. I started weaning her two weeks ago, and tonight is the last time she gets a bedtime feeding. I'm actually crying because I'm going to miss the feeling I get when I'm holding her. The closeness I feel during the nursing act. It's not going to be the same, just cuddling her. But I just can't keep my milk supply running. I'm sad, and I wish it could be another way, but this is the way it will be. I have to do it, for both of us. At least she has been taking to normal foods very well - and that helps. It's just a matter of her moving another step in growing up. She's my first, that has reached this step, and I'm realizing that it's almost been two years since I held that small child in my arms and sobbed because I was finally able to do something I had dreamed of. Emotional, as I said... I'm done for the night.
Thread: Dark Dreams (A/A's and Journal)

Aw, TDM. It's like NOW the umbilical cord finally gets cut. The actualization stage and all that independence come rushing in once she stops getting direct nourishment from you.
Thread: Dark Dreams (A/A's and Journal)

It's going to be rough, it's a loving moment for us. She's not going to understand why mommy won't do it anymore. Her crying is going to rip me to pieces. She did it with the noon feeding taken away, and the morning. I'm terrified of her hating me, even though I logically know she is too young for such things to form without some serious mistreatment. I love my daughter, more than myself - more than my life. I love my daughter more than any hatred I might hold for anyone in my life - past, present, or future. My love is so strong, and terrifying. I am just worried about messing her up, so much. I want to be the best mom for her, that I can possibly be. I'm just a little worried. I weaned her tonight, might give her a small nursing tomorrow - maybe, depending on what is going on... but likely I won't... And in less than two weeks - I'll be gone for two weeks. The longest I have ever been gone from her. It's going to be terrifying for both of us.
Thread: Dark Dreams (A/A's and Journal)

May 20th, 2015 Today was a little more of a low key day, things were pretty mellow. I spent some time with my daughter's Godfather, and worked on some budgeting plans. I have to get a decent amount of money saved up for the convention we are going to in September, but I think we will manage it. I am also going to be working while I am in philly, so I should be able to save up some decent money on that front. Hopefully things just keep getting better, I am really hoping so. Good news first, bad news later. My Ball jointed Doll, named Luna, will be getting a makeover when i visit my friends on monday. They are going to babysit her till I get back in June - and will be making her all happy and a new dolly. She really deserves it, and I'm glad I have such amazing friends. I'm excited for my small visit to my friends, even if it is just for one night. It's better than not seeing them at all, and I need the single day of decompression before I move on to all of the other work I have to do. I work Friday, and Saturday. I'm hoping I work on Sunday as well - I could use the boost to my paycheck on the 10th. I hope they take me up on signing me up to work whatever days I am available for, because as many hours as I can get is what I need. My 'magical college' website is finally up and running again, and the site seems to be running more smoothly. I'm loving the Canada setting, and loving the courses. I love the staff, and I love the coursework. It's helping me regain skills I can use for college. Here is to hoping it keeps getting better! Bad news, well it turns out that my daughter is not handling this weaning thing well. I'm trying to get a bottle going for her - and hoping the warm milk works. Otherwise, I'm not sure what we are going to do. She is not handling this 'no bedtime juice' in a good way, and her crying is making me feel like a bad mother. Back to trying to get her to get sleep properly. I hope that eventually she will sleep through the night. It is just a hope. I have an idea and I'm going to have her father help me with it as soon as he is inside. She isn't super awake, but I'm hoping she's awake enough to eat a small blend of warmed milk and baby cereal. It might sit heavy enough in her tummy to make her sleep long and deep.
Thread: Dark Dreams (A/A's and Journal)

May 21st, 2015 and May 22nd, 2015 This is a little late, but I still plan on getting you guys updated on what is happening in my life. So on the 20th, we completely stopped giving my daughter breast milk. The last two nights, that followed, to this morningthe 23rd, have been absolute hell on my sleeping schedule. I had people offer to help with her bed time, since I had work on Friday, but it didn't work out too well. They 'conveniently' forgot their offer, and I had to get up several times in the night, to care for my daughter. In total, I think I got 4 hours on the first night and 2 hours on the second. But the 21st, was a little exhausting. It was payday for my husband thursday, so that meant handling a lot of bills. We went out for breakfast, got coffee, and even went to goodwill. I found a pretty stellar messenger bag, that is also a laptop bag, but Samsonite - it was only 8! It's made of real leather. I found that pretty darn cool, in all actuality. So now I have something to haul my electronics around, as well as something to use for the back and forth to work. I also can use it when it comes time for my flight to Philly. Which will be fun in and of itself! Heck yes! I did a lot of catch up to this day, and managed to get pretty caught up on almost all of my games. though that's not the case on the 23rd, anymore. - I am also a member of an online magical school, not HiH anymore - a different one, and I have been catching up on all of my lesson 2 coursework. I think the only work I have left to do - is Wizarding History and Writer's Block. Which is pretty cool. I'm all caught up except for those two courses, and the quizzes I can take once professeurs can grade papers. Overall, a rather uneventful but exhausting couple of days.
Thread: Dark Dreams (A/A's and Journal)

I'm still around, still alive. Going to come up with an epic long journal post soonish... probably when I get home. It'll detail stuff from when I left till when I got back... so huzzah... XD
Thread: Dark Dreams (A/A's and Journal)

July 2nd, 2015 Basic update? Things kinda exploded after my last post, A flurry of activity in my life. Also a bit of depression. Started finally working again, caught up on all my posts, and even signed up for college. I'm going for my placement tests next week, as well as orientation and then will proceed to get ready to meet with my Personnel Adviser for College. Student Aid is turned in, I'll know if I get it after August... and I can start signing up for classes after I talk to the Adviser. Going for an Associates in General Education to start. Will also be taking Japanese, Spanish, and American Sign Language... to help better my language skills if there is enough money left for all of those - I am also considering taking a Dance course in order to increase my activity. Now for the bad shit. Friends dying, family moving away... a lot of weird shit. Furthermore, lucky me... I may be getting on workman's comp... no that is sarcasm. I got injured at work today, went to the Er - ER doc thinks I may have a Sciatica issue thanks to the spill I took at work. Freaking greasy stuff on the floor, when there is enough doesn't matter how 'non-slip' your shoes are... something is bound to happen. So on monday I have another appointment to see if the weird stuff has subsided, the muscle spasms in my right leg - the twitches.. the ants crawling up and down my skin on left and right leg... cotton stuffed feeling in right foot... burningtinglingcooling sensation in right and now left leg... HUZZAH! If they persist than on monday I get an MRI...a fter the MRI it'll take a little to figure out if I need to do any form of treatments... figure out how long things will take... and figure out how long I'm out of work for For whatever my happen if a procedure or something is needed as well as how long 'healing time is' before I can return to 'light' or modified duties. Which will liekly include not doing anything that will aggitate my injuries... which will basically mean me not getting scheduled till I can return to normal work duties... yes... fuck today.
Thread: Dark Dreams (A/A's and Journal)

July 4th, 2015 Things are still a world of living pain. I'm stretching myself thin trying to keep myself from going absolutely crazy. The pain is overwhelming, and I'm reaching the point where the pain killers and muscle relaxant are not working. I may have to make another visit to the ER, depending on how I feel tomorrow. That would be annoying as all hell, but I would do it.
Thread: We're All Domed (Thatguy and Celebstars)

31 days was all it took to find Hell on Earth. What was supposed to be New Year's day of 2016, would now be called Dome Day. The mysterious barrier trapped all 8.4 million inhabitants of New York City and isolated them from the rest of the world, and they didn't even know about it. Except the Taxi driver who was taking his fare to Jersey when he slammed directly into it, killing both himself and his customer on impact as it was like a fly to a windshield. Then there was the US Coastguard vessel making it's rounds when it happened upon the barrier. What happened was that it completely sliced the boat in half, and being so close to the wall, the men on board were near instantly killed by a massive electromagnetic pulse, stopping their hearts and letting them sink into the Hudson with their craft. Then there was Flight 197, coming in from Boston, carrying a little over 100 unknowing passengers sleeping the trip away as they just barely made it out in time, except for the electronic problems, which completely shut down the engines and sent the plane flying like a cruise missile into the heart of Jersey. Nobody on the ground in the city would have any knowledge of this though, as all sound from the outside world was cut off. Electronics still transmitted sound though, so the traditional festivities went off without a hitch. NOW Coming from then, we find ourselves in what was once a modest looking apartment in the Soho region, and the guy who lived there and an impressive entertainment system, an island kitchen and many other standard luxuries that he could afford on a police officer payroll, but now many of those things were useless. Jack was the man's name, and he was just getting out of bed at 7 in the morning wearing a white tang top and his boxer briefs, his last bit of truly clean clothes. He rubbed the little amount of sleep he got last night from his eyes before turning to the younger blond girl still asleep in the same bed, and decided to let her continue to sleep as he grabbed the bottle of booze from his bedside table, noe warm like the day and like every other bottle of booze still left in their little snow globe of a world and Drank heavily from it. Time to start the day, he said sarcastically.