Thread: Digging Myself A Hole

Yepp...I'm sure we've all done it...I see to do it from time to time. Normally, I can get myself out pretty fast. But this one...this one's gotten pretty deep and I could use a little advice on how to get myself out of this. My boyfriend -He's smart but totally unmotivated. He has been told again and again by several people that he needs to get a job-including me. Yet, he refuses to even look. He filled out a small handful of apps...maybe 2 or 3 over the past few months...and that's it. He has all these dreams for the future but he just won't work towards them. When we go out to the mall-a rare occasion...it's been about a year now-he will never let me go look in the shops I really want to look in. He practically drags me away from any shop with sparkly jewelry. He feels as if he has to buy me everything I look at but I have explained about a hundred times to him that I don't want him to buy me everything. Most of the time I just want to look at what is there. Then there's the more physical part of the relationship. Lately, it seems like it's getting more and more physical, which isn't what I want. We don't really talk a lot, and when we do it's usually just him going on about the new game he bought or wants to buy, and most of the time the games he plays aren't really ones that interest me but he just insists that I will love them. When I get hyper and excited about something he's always trying to force me to calm down instead of just enjoying the hyper me, which doesn't happen very often. We went to a football game at our old high school one time and it was slightly depressing because if I started to stand up or jump up and down he was always trying to pull me back down into my seat and make me sit down. If he is even slightly bored he can get very annoying. It almost seems like I have to constantly entertain him. And then there's my friends...he doesn't trust a single one of them with me alone. Most of my friends are guys, but that's never bothered me. I have known most of them for over eleven years now. Some I have only known one or two, but I still trust them. He doesn't trust them, and that causes arguments. I understand he doesn't want anything to happen to me, but these guys are like my brothers. He gets upset when I make plans to hang out with them. I love him, but lately I have found myself wondering why... Then...there's him- I haven't known him very long...almost a year now. He and I seem to have more in common-we like the same sort of music, same foods, same movies, same cartoons...the list goes on and on. He's a hard worker-unlike my bf he has a job and works hard to keep it. He's smart as well, but he's motivated. He doesn't care if I get hyper-he just enjoys it and lets me come down on my own. On our many trips to the mall, he lets me wander into whatever store I want and is right there behind me. I was actually able to look in a jewelry store I had tried to look in on a trip with my bf. It's easier to laugh and joke and just enjoy myself around him. He hugged me today, and it felt...right. I don't know him quite as well as I know my boyfriend, but when I first met him it was so easy to open up to him. He seems to understand me, and doesn't ramble on all day about games he knows I don't like or that don't interest me. And we talk...we talk all the time. So far, our record is eight hours straight. With my bf, that's probably the most we've talked to each other in a matter of weeks. I like him...a lot. More and more with each passing day. And he likes me too-it's rather obvious. So...as you can see, I've gotten myself into a rather deep hole. Anyone got any advice?