Thread: The Pleasure Slave (constructive criticism PLEASE)

Re The Pleasure Slave constructive criticism welcome She rested a moment against the door and closed her eyes. She slid down to sit on the floor and pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. It had gone far better than expected at least at first. He had not threatened outright to harm her. They had had at least some semblance of a conversation. She had no doubt that given even half a chance he would try to escape. That would prove dangerous for him. Escaped slaves were severely punished then returned to their owners. Her father would demand Taal be punished further, and then sold to the pits. Taal was in a rage, a seething mass of restrained muscle. Hed never been so mad, or uncomfortable. He couldnt pace, he couldnt reach the bed to lie down not that he would ever lie on it willingly he could only stand in place or sit against the wall. Every muscle was sore. His wrists, ankles and neck were chaffed from pulling on the chains. His throat was sore from bellowing. The lingering effects of the sedative had left him with a massive headache. He was tired, hungry, and thirsty and to top everything off he needed use of the facilities. Finally he sank to the floor to sit and hold his pounding head in his hands. Some time later Taal heard a slight rustle in the connecting chamber. Too weary to stand he looked up as the source of his current discomfort entered the room holding a package in her hands. He didnt have to ask what. Two heavily armed guards followed her in. What a pity she was such a cute little creature - she was to blame for this. He knew he could hurt her being easily twice her size, but his family honor and conscience wouldnt let him, unless she threatened his life. On his home world of Sargas, his people protected their women and children with their lives. He saw her as a woman-child, lost in a state somewhere between the two. He shook his head. He would simply have to find to get out of there without causing her harm even if this was all her fault. He watched her watching him. Then she carefully approached. Taal, dont struggle. She commanded gently, They wont hurt you so long as you stay still. I am going to remove your collar and place the new one on you. I will then sedate you to remove the arm and leg restraints. When you wake you will be able to move around the chamber. The door on the other wall leads to the lavatory it does not lead to the rest of the house. This door is the only one that leads to the house. Again you will not be able to leave through this door or the window. Now, rise up to a kneeling position and put your arms behind you. Taal considered his options. He looked behind Kalra to the two guards. They held laser guns in their hands and each also had what looked like a prod. He decided to ere on the side of caution. Today was not a good day to die. Steeling himself, he complied. Good. Now keep them there. She said sounding pleased at his obedience. His lips twitched again. She thought him helpless. He still had teeth if he so chose to use them. She approached carefully watching for any sign of an intention to attack. She was no fool and didnt doubt that he was still angry enough to do so. He kept his gaze locked on hers as she came closer. Then he almost imperceptibly nodded his head. She released her breath. He would not attack. When she finally reached him, he found her chest level with his face. His eyes focused there. Kalra stilled, unsure of the look on his face. Gathering her courage, she reached around, unlocked his collar and removed it. Reaching in to one pocket she took out a package containing a paste. She smoothed the salve on his neck where the collar had chaffed him. Then she un-wrapped the package she had walked in with to reveal a collar wrapped with soft black leather set with several dark green stones. I thought it complimented your coloring. She stated. She reached around again, locked it into place, and froze, biting her tongue to keep from screaming. Taal had latched onto one of her small breasts with his lips, grazing it gently with his teeth. She could feel the heat and moisture from his mouth seeping through the thin material of her dress. Eyes wide she looked down and was further shocked to see him grinning and looking right at her. She was in a quandary of how to react. She sould be angry, as she hadnt given him permission to touch her in such a manner. She sould be afraid, as he had just proven that even heavily restrained, he was not entirely helpless. Or she could just give in these new sensations of pleasure coursing through her and let her knees buckle. Taal let his tongue leisurely run along the bottom of her breast then nipped lightly at the puckered tip. Kalra moaned deep in her throat. He chuckled at her innocent response, sending vibrations skipping through her. She didnt realize that her fingers had tangled themselves into his hair, clutching his head to her chest. The two guards shifted, wondering why the mistress was taking so long attaching a simple collar on her new slave. The slight shuffle brought Karla back to herself and she quickly dropped her arms and stepped back. But not before Taal pulled gently at her breast with his teeth causing her to squeak. Mistress, one of the guards inquired, is something amiss? She took a deep steadying breath and squared her shoulders. No, Im fine. Kalra looked at Taals face and saw a very smug grin there. With Taals collar locked and activated she took a small vial from another pocket. She removed the stopper and put it to his lips. Swallow. Shouldnt I be saying that to you Little One? He murmured. Unsure of his meaning, she again pressed the vial to his lips. He obliged her and emptied the contents. Then he sat back, waiting for the drug to take affect.