Thread: Am I Selfish/Egotistical?

So I've been brooding over an incident that happened today. Part of me feels like I'm overblowing things but at the same time it feels like it was a major slap to the face and blow to my ego. It also feels like the community that I helped build is two faced as fuck and I've begun to resent it. I'm a Smash player. I've been down and heavy in the Maine competitive scene for about 5 years now. We started off playing Melee and Project M Mostly project m for me at that time and once Smash 4 came out I moved full time to that game. I was there when it started, was initially one of the best players Was winning tournaments consistently until players all adapted and now I've sort of tapered off at roughly 18th place in the state which is fine imo. I've always brought set ups and been active in the community. Giving advice, helping set up training sessions, attending smaller events not for the money but to help other areas in the state get a foot hold while also helping newer players. I've greatly enjoyed my time in the scene...until recently. I never did any of the above to garner attention to myself. To be some idolized person in our scene. Though I can't help but notice that no one, and I mean NO ONE in our scene has seemed to take any notice of my efforts. Attention always seems to gravitate towards the top players in our state as well as more...'loud' players who make a literal scene For better or for worse. I've begun to grow irritated because what had once been a tight knit community has begun to taper off into what feels like an exclusive club. One of my friends took the reigns on being the central TO after our prior one stepped down to focus on other matters. In doing so he's become a bit of a celebrity in his own right among the group. He's even gotten sponsored Despite him, with all due respect, being a horrendous player which feels annoying at times. I feel that, incidentally, this has bloated his ego. He's pretty much forgotten I exist Only talking to me at events and only if he has to which hurts in itself. Since his 'take over' of the scene he's been following lots of trends on the competitive circuit. Namely he's been implementing 'Saga' tournaments ZeRo Saga and such basically prompted him to copy this, but the Saga's are named after only his closer Smash friends for the most part. This Saturday we are having a tournament and this is where my point of bitterness comes into play. He wanted to do a 'heros vs villains' theme for the event. 10 vs 10 player crew battles. He was selecting team captains and members for each side. I was excited because I was hoping that maybe this time I could be a part of it. I messaged him about it to inquire how people were being chosen but he didn't give me any real answer Thus another point of contention, there is little to no transparency at all ever since he took over running events. It's rather annoying. So over the past week or so he'd do player reveals every day or so. My best friend and room mate got on the 'villain' side which surprised me He's considered mid tier on our power rankings and most every player chosen up until that point were power ranked, top 15. I thought that, for sure, I would be put opposite him on the hero side, as we had a constant gag where he was the Vegeta to my Goku Since our personalities are completely the opposite at times and we take jabs at each other like the characters, etc. Fuck our DOUBLES name is Team Gogeta for crying out loud Needless to say...I didn't make the cut. Again. This is probably the 6 or 7th crew battle that I seem to not be included in. Normally I guess I wouldn't care yet there have been several ranked players who tell me regularly 'what an important member' I am, yet each time these sorts of things come up that I could be a part of...it's just the buddy crew who are permitted. It just feels like all my work, my blood sweat and tears continue to yield no fruit and I hate it so much. Am I just an ego filled cunt or is am I just normal for feeling so dejected by people who I've tried to be a solid part of for so long?