Thread: The inner workings

Note - This next piece is me just writing out my emotions. I'm trying to keep myself from hurting those that care about me - that I care about. This is just what's in my head - my way to keep myself from doing something stupid. The Doll had danced this dance before - so many times. There was no cutting the strings this time. There was no salvation. There was no point. She had danced till she broke - many times before. What was another dance till she shattered? There was no point any longer. Her dance had started out so happy - friends and family, prosperity and happiness. Then the dance had shattered - turning sad and turning broken. She had started breaking on the inside - the dance hadn't shown on the outside. The cracks had started inside. They started in her mind - in her soul. They had started as small fissures, but as we all know - the more pressure applied to a crack, the easier something breaks. The Doll had ignored the pain - ignored herself. Because she wanted salvation and simplicity for those around her. The Doll's cracks got bigger - she ignored them. She ignored the pain - and she ignored her dance. She allowed the pain to build within her - to break her. She allowed it - all to make her dance appear beautiful. All to make those around her think that everything was alright. She didn't want to be a burden. Three times she fell - three times she was broken. They say the third times the charm. What started in the Doll's mind - moved to her heart. There was no recovering the shattered pieces. There was no picking up this time. She smiled and told everyone that she was fine - but in reality she just wanted her pieces to disappear. She wanted to disappear. The Doll danced harder - she tried to keep the smile on her face. She tried to keep the smile in her eyes. But she was realizing the only person she was trying to fool - was herself. There was no fooling the others. They knew - the could sense it. But The Doll wouldn't let them help. She didn't want help anymore. She just wanted to break - she didn't want to see them happy anymore. She didn't want to see them together anymore. She just wanted to break - she just wanted to die. She just wanted the pieces to go away. She just wanted to vanish. The cracks went past her mind and soul - went past her heart. The pieces inside were shattered without salvation - and all the Doll wanted was Love. There was no Love - no Peace - no real happiness. She had tried before many times - and she had only brought pain to those around her. She was a Horrible Doll, a Horrible Being, she shouldn't even be dancing the dance any longer. The cracks spread then, starting at her feet - at her legs, her fingers and her hands. They spread like spiderwebs and cracked further and further. Her chest cracked, porcelain falling to pieces. Her body slowly turned into a network of spiderwebs. The pieces falling off - leaving behind a child. A child that wanted her way out of the dark - but there was no longer any light. The light hated her, the shadows despised her. There was no warmth - no sound - no salvation. The Doll was lost - she would be lost. Wanted to be lost. She was tired - and she was broken - and she was alone. Saying 'I'm Sorry' wouldn't cut it anymore, trying to apologize only made things worse... It was time to say good-bye.