Thread: A Dose of Chai and a Spin of Reality

RE A Dose of Chai and a Spin of Reality comments welcome Note this was NOT written in response to anyone in particular on this site but has been brought about due to both past and recent events and experiences in both real life and roleplay. All readers beware, a distinct lack of caffeine and sleep has fueled this particular entry. If you prefer reading something pretty skip along past this as this will be bordering damn near a rant, fueled by frustration, lack of caffeine and general disbelief. Now, before I continue let me be clear here, just because someone has limits or preferences? This does not make them close minded. I absolutely hate when someone tries shoving me into a box to fit what they want, especially when they are the one who contacts me. Whether in real life or in roleplay, I find it insulting when someone questions my interests or tries to force upon me something I clearly stated I was not interested in. There is NOTHING wrong with people having differences. Most of my closest friends and I have varying opinions on a variety of subjects this isn't cause for a fight or disagreement, no, this opens us up for discussions. I absolutely love having people in my life who make me think and are able to bring new perspectives into my life...where I draw the line is when this passes from a sharing of differences into the realm of trying to change my opinion and force me into their ideals. Red flags tend to be thrown down when someone's language turns from informative to forceful. This excludes individuals who get excited and are simply being enthusiastic, that doesn't bother me in the slightest and I recognize the difference between that and someone being controlling and trying to force me to fit their requirements. I would never try to change someone else to meet my expectations or requirements and I appreciate the same respect whether in real life or in roleplay. My limits, preferences and choices as to what I like, dislike, will do and won't do are simply that...mine. No one has the right to inflict their will upon me or attempt to force me into anything I don't like. Saying all of this, I want to note I do tend to be open minded. I would never pretend to know everything and I love growing as a person and seeing something in a new light but this doesn't mean I am required to change my hard limits or even explain my reasoning behind them. No one has the right to force anyone into explaining themselves or pushing them past boundaries they are uncomfortable with. I find sometimes letting people know I prefer to be submissive welcomes in a lot of stigma and assumptions as to how I will let others treat me and my boundaries. I have made mistakes in my life of being involved with controlling individuals, people who don't know where the line is and how to respect others. It is what fuels me to be so protective of my limits and the boundaries people place. In conclusion I suppose this is just to say I love the differences other people can bring to the table but while I may be open to discuss our differences? I would never expect someone else to change themselves to fit into what I need or require. Please do not waste your time if all you are looking for is to find a crack in my armor to exploit by insulting me, trying to be manipulative or attempting to push me into feeling guilty. Go on, your attempts will be met with laughter. I have dealt with much scarier people than you and I have experienced the headspace that comes from allowing someone to disregard your limits and it isn't a place I care to revisit out of character. I am a lot stronger than people give me credit for, but I will repeat myself to say do not mistake my more submissive preferences for weakness, and do not kid yourself into thinking you can corner me or force me into explaining myself. I have my reasons, my preferences, my boundaries and my flaws and they are what make me the person I am. I repsect anyone who doesn't share or completely agree with me and usually if we can work around our differences and find common ground it leads to some of the best interactions I have had in both real life and roleplay. A final note and summary- Walls, in my opinion are not always rational, sometimes they are illogical and built on false assumptions and fears. This doesn't make them any less improtant or invalid to the person who built them. I don't search for people who will tear down my walls, but I do welcome individuals into my life who can open my eyes to the reasons as to why they may be faulty or inspire me to tear them down myself. It doesn't mean the end result will always be me changing my mind or even agreeing with you, but sometimes a mutual respect of differences speaks volumes more than any similarities or common ground ever would . Zel