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Re msg u ? S m a s h i n g B l u e From the crash of the waves, to the drop of a tear silver rain wash away crimson blood. It all only matters at the peak of twilight but will vanish like glittering stardust by morning shine. Atlantia was perhaps one of the more elusive corners of Marosia. At least, that??s what he had been told. There were vast areas of just water and little land, creatures that numbered in more dangerous and undiscovered than that of known origin. A kingdom that was ruled and chaotic at the same time. Atlantia was going to be his new settlement. Not home though. The Cardinal Knight didn??t understand what home meant, not when he had been thrown out of his own at birth. If anyone asked, Gandrian would have told them that Elzier was his home, as the Queen of Light had taken him in and raised him. The former Queen of Light, that is. Gandrian had been with the royal family since his first year of life, raised in the background as a servant to Cecelia and Vayne whom had been just a fraction of a generation older than him. Knighthood hadn??t come to him until later years, not until after Valen had been introduced into their world. It was through the Eldest Knight that he learned what it meant to follow the path of light and to fight for justice. ??What are you thinking of, Cardinal Knight?? came a liquid voice, washing over his senses and dragging him back upon the shores of consciousness. Gandrian blinked a few times and had to pause to think about an answer, before rolling his shoulders in a shrug. ??Please, call me Gandrian.? he responded, giving the Atlantian King a slight smile. The King of the East gave him one in return, and while he was curious as to what drew the knight??s attention away from their journey, he didn??t press the issue. They traveled on a large ship??several in fact. Unlike most, however, they floated above in the sky, drifting through the air with wind magic to guide them. Each gentle lull of the wind drifted them closer towards their home. For a brief moment, Gandrian felt as if he was truly on a ship, and had a desire to jump into the water to feel its cooling properties. Noise cluttered around him though, as he leaned against the rail of the ship and observed the clouds floating by. They were globs of fluff, swirling around and utterly delicious. He could almost reach out and hug them, feel their cottony appearance in his embrace. He found himself lost in childish thoughts, staring at the clouds that hit the edge of the boat and disbursed, before watching the clouds the floated by. In his mind, he could categorize them??the higher, lower, larger, smaller, rounded, squared??and also assign shapes and symbols to them. When the evening sky illuminated the horizon, a few clouds looked like blazes of flames spurting forth from the very pits of lava themselves. They reminded him of Altima, and a pang of homesickness hit him this early on. ??Don??t think too hard on it, Gandrian. You??ll get to visit them in six months a time, and six months from then, you??ll get to go back to Elzier.?? he mentally told himself, trying not to act childish as Brand had about leaving. ??Lord Volwrath, are you just going to stand here staring outwards all evening, or are you going to ask me to dance?? the youngest heir asked jovially. Her aqua tinted, green hair flowed like the river itself around her shoulders and frame, free as the wild stream. Gorgeous golden eyes flashed sparkling jewels at him, tempting and challenging him into giving her what she wanted. She was perhaps his age, perhaps a year older, but with her beauty, he was almost sure she looked younger. If only he could remember what her name was. Now, he wasn??t one to forget so easily, but unlike the simplicity of the other royal families that the others had met, the Atlantian royal family consisted of a much larger number. They were aquatic beings, which most of them had reproduced in a similar number as that of other common aquatic beings. It wasn??t just cheaper by the dozen it was cheaper by the baker??s dozen and then some. ???Princess Lillian.? ??Lilly.? oh, than gods he got that right. ??Gandrian.? As far as introductions went, he wasn??t the best at it, but at least she didn??t seem to care for lengthy ones. Glancing around and seeing that many of the passengers had begun to join the waltzing dance, he held out his hand to her in a silent askance to do the same. Traditional music with a steady beat filled the evening air, floating around them just as gracefully as the clouds were. Her flowing gown was more like a cocktail dress meshed with a gypsy??s, giving her a strangely appealing beauty that was both natural and materialistic. The Cardinal Knight smiled brightly at her whenever she said something, giving just bits and pieces of his opinion when deemed necessary. Meanwhile in his mind though, he was trying to go over all the members of the family so that he wouldn??t make a mistake. The King Irmak with his beautiful Queen Amphitrite, and their multiple children in age order Prince Pegasus, Prince Trident, Prince Caspian, Princess Neith, Prince Regal, Princess Thalassa, Princess Aurora, Prince Kai, Prince Lake, Prince Nerus, and Princess Lillian. Sadly, those were just the ones he remembered. The other two thirds were a mystery to him that he decided was best to ask another day. ??Were you born from the sea, Gandrian? Your eyes are? exquisitely beautiful. I??ve never seen such oceanic eyes, even in the Mer before.? Lilly complemented out of the blue. It took the Cardinal Knight by surprise as he wasn??t used to be given praises, and before he knew it, his cheeks flushed a delicate pink. That caused the princess to tilt her head back and chortle at his reaction. ??Adorable.? was her only response, leading to hours worth of dancing before they reached Atlantia. It was eerie at best, with small villages here and there high above the water. Five mountains, peeked from the far left, of which he had been informed to be called the Devil??s Hand. The entrance to the home of the Necromancers. No one entered there without permission, not even the Atlantians. Beyond that, three mountains protruded upwards, which were called the Prongs of Poseidon. Upon those mountains were villages of which Atlantians could live upon for those who could not live under the water. The water, however, was not as natural as one would suspect. For miles and miles in every direction, the water was a flat surface, appearing undisturbed by anything. It shimmered with magic that seemed to bubble the molecules together, leaving nothing but froth and mountain and water. It was from there that they sank like a bubble into the ocean??s surface all the way to Aegean, the Capital City of the water kingdom. Being under water wasn??t an issue for Gandrian, as his element was water. While he didn??t have gills, he was able to fabricate his need for oxygen by consciously being aware of the molecules that floated around him that water composed of. However, as useful as his element was, he didn??t think he??d be able to fabricate something more delicious to suit his taste. Over the year that he had been in Atlantia, the nineteen year-old found that he was well apt in the traditions that the culture had. He wasn??t at home as he was in Elzier, but being in the water kingdom was almost as good. There were things he didn??t understand??many things??but they were all willing to teach him. Over the year, he had gotten closer to but a few of the royal family members, despite the closeness that he had with the others. Princess Lilly had done nothing but clung to his arms, lavishing him in affection as he had never known. The other princesses were affectionate, but nothing near what Lilly had offered him. Among the princes, he had been soaked in like they were a sponge entity and he was meant to be part of them. Perhaps the closest of the male family members to him was the Crown Prince Pegasus, as he treated him like a younger brother. The Cardinal Knight had a simple duty really. To protect the Eastern quadrant in the time of peace was mostly guard duty, if he had to put a phrase to it. In the mornings, he would wake up to attend a family breakfast among the Royal Family, of which he always thought was a banquet with the amount of family members there. After which he would make his rounds around Aegean and the surrounding ??islands? that was closest to the capital. Once that was over with, he would surface the water and observe the vast plain of water, then do a round of the Prongs of Poseidon. Finally, his last task of the day was to remain floating around, checking out the empty areas of water, water, and water. His job was very exciting. He was trilled. The last visiting round to the other knights and Elzier had been as awing as it could have been. More business than emotional in his opinion, as they all had things to report. Not many things, but things nonetheless. The few times that the others had visited the East had been spent with many water activities??not surprising, because what else were they going to do in a ninety percent water-based kingdom? ??Too bad there isn??t more land??? he mused, floating on top of the flat surface of the water. The sun had set and the clouds were all but drifting wisps of fluff once more. He spent a lot of days just amusing himself, watching outwards into the vastness of nothing like a guardian of the underworld. ??Gandrian, you should head down for dinner. It is rather late.? a smooth, rich voice spoke to him from the side. It caused the silvering-blue haired knight to jerk out of his daydreaming, before sea-green eyes drifted towards the owner of the voice. Vayne, the Queen of Light??s brother. Perhaps he??d be considered the King of Darkness, from how his demeanor was opposite that of Cecelia??s. The dark haired man had been drifting around, or so he said, and noted that the beauty of the East had caught his attention. Cecelia had pardoned Vayne from his crime, banishing him from entering Elzier for quite some time, but did not prevent him from wandering free??on the condition that he repented his ways. So there he was, former enemy, keeping Gandrian company whenever the days dragged on too long. He often wondered if Vayne visited the others, speak to the other knights in their moments of loneliness while guarding the kingdom they were sent to. The Cardinal Knight never asked though, as he didn??t care to pry into Vayne??s business any more than he wanted the other male prying into his. ??Where will you go?? it wasn??t like he cared, but he was curious. Of course, the other side to it was that while he allowed Vayne to wander freely without detection in Atlantia, he also had to keep a keen eye out for what the other male did while he wasn??t watching over what he did. Instead of answering, Vayne just shrugged, before motioning towards the bubbles that raised from below the water??s surface. ??It??s almost time for supper??duty should be over by now, come down.? the Crown Prince??s bubbly tone came to his ears. Biting down on his bottom lip, Gandrian frowned at Vayne for a moment, before deeming that nothing bad was going to happen. After all, it had been months since Vayne??s appearance around these areas, and not once had the other male done anything remotely offensive. As the silver-blue haired teen allowed himself to drift down the water like a rock, he briefly wondered if Vayne was just spending time there with him because the other male was also lonely. But that also raised the question if he was lonely as well. Gandrian couldn??t say he was completely alone, as he had the Atlantian royal family to keep him company. The others in the kingdom respected him, despite his age. Many people of the Mere were friendly with him. But unfortunately? Some became too friendly. If someone asked him when it had all started, he could have stated the exact date, all the way to the time. The Winter Solstice, third day, midnight. The Cardinal Knight had just returned to bed after the Solstice ball, dancing nearly all night with the various members of the court. In the bleak darkness of the water, he had lost his glow-fish, thus thrusting him into nothing but darkness in his room. Not that he had a problem with that, as he figured that he was just going to curl up into bed and sleep the night away. Pulling off his shirt and toeing off the shoes, he gave his traditional thanks for waterproof clothes, before bumping right into the drawer. ??FUCK!? he snapped out, rubbing his stubbed toe with the other foot, and his forehead with the back of his hand. He was exhausted and generally worn out from the day, as he had spent most of it on patrol, running his rounds as fast as he could, before returning to the Capital for the ball. There, he was worked to the bone catering to everyone there, trying to keep up the polite image of not refusing anyone that asked for a dance or a chat. But now, he found that he was two seconds away from just passing out and floating up to the surface of the water like some dead fish. Finally, he found the bed after walking into many different objects, and moved to curl up under the covers. As he smacked his pillow to fluff it out, a sponge pillow that he really, really wish wasn??t as hard as it could be, Gandrian was briefly reminded of the goldfish he swore he hadn??t meant to eat. It was strangely tasty. Not that he lacked seafood, since that was basically breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert in the East. With thoughts of food and images of dancing ingrained into his nightmares, Gandrian slowly drifted off into slumber something he did nightly, but didn??t remain asleep for long. Tonight proved to add onto his naturally insomniac ways. Twin arms slithered from nowhere and wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer to a firm chest that rippled with more muscles than even he possessed. That was, perhaps, the beginning of what proved to stir up questions in the Cardinal Knight??s mind. It wasn??t the last time someone came into his bed though. Sometimes, there were females, other times, males, and even rarer, sometimes he couldn??t tell. It was either an androgynous being or at times, more than one. They were always overpowering in the water for some reason. Mostly because the males were physically strong and othe times, because he was afraid he??d hurt the female that snuck in. He always fought though. Always tried to find the way to get the lights on, but always being pinned down, silenced in one way or another and? he didn??t understand why they did the things they did. Gandrian didn??t understand, but he knew he didn??t like it. Even during the day, while he was all but alone, he could feel the ghost hands roaming over his flesh. They crawled like small insects upon his body, dirtying him and causing strange stirs in his body that was both painful, fearful, and was that what others called pleasure? He wished he knew. It got to the point that he rarely, if ever, returned to his room to rest. But even after getting a new room, it still happened on occasions. He never could tell when or why or how, but molds of flesh and bodies would find their way to wherever he was staying. But it had to be someone? some ones in the royal family. No one else had access to the palace after a certain hour, no one else had access to his room like this. Why were they doing this? He wondered if this was a so of affection, if he should confront King Irmak about it. But what if one of the night visitors was the King? What would?? could ??he say? Gandrian knew he didn??t like it though. He didn??t like the hands that touched him like he was some possession, like he was some cheaply paid whore. Angry bursts of magic proved almost useless, as he could never get enough rolling before the person instantly vanished into the smooth water, or at times, they??d catch him most unexpectedly when he was exhausted from the day. Over the course of the six months between his visits outside of the Eastern lands, the hands became bolder. They touched him where no one else had, stroking and playing and forcing him to feel things he didn??t think was consensual. Some even touched him where he knew wasn??t where a male should be touched??on those nights, he??d fought the most. But the hands were there, they held him down, they knew how to take and take and take. The Cardinal Knight could perhaps fight off one, maybe two of the family members. But it would be suspicious, and he was always surprised, shocked, afraid. Afraid enough that he couldn??t confront the King to ask him to help, afraid enough that he didn??t know how to describe what was going on with him, and afraid enough that? he didn??t know who to turn to for help. Just stop, just stop, please stop. He denied that it was happening to him in the first month. The second, he was angered. Why wasn??t he fighting it harder?! But the question always came to him, asking him what it was. By the third, he was pleading silently for whomever it was to stop coming to him. They had become even bold enough that they would find him, brush touches against him when he was trying to catch sleep while on guard, floating alone when Vayne had not graced his presence. The fourth month rolled around and he soon found that he wished for Vayne??s presence or anyone that wasn??t of the royal family. He was afraid of them, but more so, he was exhausted from the struggle. Depressed and defeated, he didn??t even try to think of who to turn to. Kisses rained on his shoulders as if these people??there had to be at least four different people, he could tell??were his lovers. Is this what having a lover was like? So once the fifth month was coming to an end, he didn??t struggle when the hands forced him to pleasure the body that they were attached to. Only when the sixth month came around, did he find a resemblance of emotions swarm back into his system. He was given a leave to go visit the other knights. ??BRAND DE ZEUS, JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!!!!? came the threatening roar of the Dragon Queen. Normally, Ranis was a calm and calculating woman. She didn??t lose her temper nor did she raise her voice. Something as undignified as yelling was not part of what she did perhaps shocked shouts, but never blood-churning rage. But normally, the Youngest Knight didn??t break her prized hairpin that the Queen of Light had gifted her for her ??I??m not a day over twenty? birthday a few years back. It was a pure accident, really. How was Brand to know that he wasn??t allowed in her room? How was Brand to know that he wasn??t allowed to snoop around? And by all that was good and holy, how was he supposed to know that a lock meant to stay out of what was inside? While Ranis steamed and roared fire in every direction she flew through, searching for the young blonde, Brand hid himself between the large gate doors??hinges that no Dragon could even fit into, even in their humanoid forms. Perhaps the children could, but he wasn??t worried about the younger Dragons hunting him down. It was there that he spotted a figure coming towards them from the dock areas. Few came by the flying boat method to Long, which made he quickly realize who the figure was. Without fear of being charred to death, Brand jumped up to his full height of five feet. ??Annie! Annie, you came!? he cheered with vigor, before dashing towards the silver-blue. Luckily he had ran to Gandrian, as just as he left his hiding spot, a flash of blazing flames disintegrated the spot he had been standing. It was perhaps the shock that caused Gandrian to flinch and tense up in his embrace, so Brand didn??t think too long on the issue??not that he thought long on many things, he??d have to admit to himself. ??Annie, how are you? Where have you been? Did you have fun? Was it a safe journey?!? he spouted out in rapid session, not even noticing the stream of flames coming up towards him from behind. Gandrian gawked at that, before forming a shield of water to cover them both. Mainly him really, but Brand was lucky enough yet again to be at the right spot at the right time, as he was covered as well. Ranis?? flames spewed powerfully against the shield, but as fire was against water, only hot steamed smoke clouded the entrance to Long??s palace. It was then that the Dragon Queen realized that the Cardinal Knight had come to visit. She snarled at the rotten luck that she seemed to have??something that occurred quite often ever sense Brand had came to live with her??before turning tail and stomping off to see if she could fix the broken hairpin. This left the two knights alone to handle themselves. Brand asked his companion to stay for dinner, but the silver-blue haired male refused, as he said he had less time to visit the others this time around. While he enjoyed Brand??s company, Gandrian was anxious to go see Valen for advice. However, if he hadn??t gone to see the youngest first, Brand would have blown a gasket??he was quite sure of it. Instead of joining for dinner, they wandered towards the large garden of ice outside of the palace. The Youngest Knight excitedly told Gandrian of all the things he was learning, what he was doing, how awesome it was that he was guarding The Rock? things were just going swell for him! He even braved showing Gandrian The Rock that he was guarding, making the Cardinal Knight swear that he would not relay it??s position to anyone else. Gandrian didn??t have the heart to mock his companion, so he played along. ??Z, I??ve got a question?? he began, still a few inches away from Brand as the younger male observed for any foreign objects that dared to get near his guarding post. For the last few minutes, Brand had been trying to get closer to him, to curl up against him like the younger male had a habit of doing to those he was close to. The Cardinal Knight didn??t mean to, but every time Brand got near him to touch him, he flinched and tried to squirm away. Luckily for him, the blonde seemed to pay no attention to it, and continued on his marry way as if the sun was shining out of his ass. ??Hm?? ??Does the Dragon Queen-.? ??Call her Ranis, Annie. She??s a stickler when it comes to formality and all that stuff. Or was it the other way around??? Brand frowned, deep in thought. ??Right. Well, does Ranis? you know? touch you? When you don??t want her to?? he asked tentatively, wondering if that was the right phrasing. ??Sure, she touches me all the time. Sometimes, I do something that she doesn??t like and she tries to punish me, but I usually run and hide so she can??t beat me? because that would go so well once it got back to Cecelia??s ears. ??Other times, if she??s in a real, real good mood, she even lets me ride on her when she??s in Dragon form!? he opted out the part where it was usually after Ranis?? visit with Cecelia, or sometimes, she dropped him just to hear him scream. However, when his screams started to sound a bit more excited than fearful, it seemed that she took him out for rides less often. Pity. The silver-blue raised an eyebrow at that, wondering if Brand was going to live to come to the next meeting they had in Elzier. ??Er, that??s? nice of her.? he finished lamely, realizing that perhaps speaking to Brand about this topic was not the best idea. The other male was younger than he was, so perhaps Brand had no idea what he was talking about. He could just image asking further on the topic and the chaos he??d cause the blonde, so he decided to drop the topic. Visiting Altima had not been as productive as he had hoped it had been. Why he even went from North to South was completely confusing to him, but it bought him just a bit more time away from Atlantia so he wasn??t complaining. The fiery knight had greeted him with sharp pats on his back, a slightly awkward and random hug, and spews of her latest adventures. She was so wrapped up in the thrills of adventure and battles that she had participated in, that most of the time he spent visiting her was focused on that. So much, in fact, that he found himself forgetting about his worries for a few moments, and freely laughed and joked about things with her. It was only when she would freely touch him, did he flinch away from her. She clearly saw that something was wrong with him, but she didn??t respond in any direction??acting as if nothing was wrong. He would tell her if something was bothering him, and perhaps, he was just awkward with her after such a lengthy period of being apart. ??Have you prepared a report for Kali?? Altima asked after a light dinner. This time, Gandrian had stayed as he was starving and knew that he only had a brief period before and after dinner with the Female Knight. The Cardinal Knight stirred his soup a few times, wondering just how the heck she enjoyed hot soup in a hot area. The only reason why he hadn??t keeled over and burst into flames was because he was focusing on controlling the water molecules around him and kept his body a cool temperature. If not, he would have ended up like one of those sinners that entered holy grounds. It took her another prod at him before he responded with a meek ??yes??. The blonde female wasn??t stupid and she wasn??t one to just wait around for answers. He had gotten his moment of silence, and now she wanted answers. ??Annie, you better tell me what??s wrong this instant or you??re going to get your ass whooped.? she snapped out, half glaring at him and half concerned. ??It??s nothing, really.? and it wasn??t because he didn??t trust her, he did. But how was he to talk to her about these things? She was a female, he was a male. Maybe it was a male thing, because he couldn??t see her getting into situations like he was in. She would have just combusted into fiery flames and ashes if anyone dared to touch her??something he had already seen a few times??so he couldn??t imagine anyone wanting to get too close to the flames if they were afraid of being burnt. ??Just? I don??t really want to go back to Atlantia right now?? or ever. Altima just sighed heavily, as if she had just heard of a stupid excuse. The Female Knight chortled for a minute or two, before shaking her head and patting him on the back. ??Don??t worry too much. You make a great guardian, I??m sure. Have more faith in your abilities, Annie.? ??That??s not the problem??? but he didn??t verbalize the last part. Instead, he stretched a smile over his lips and nodded, trying to soak in the time with the blonde as much as he could. She was like his sister, after all, and while it was sometimes awkward to be with her on his own, he didn??t want to waste any time with her. After dinner, they went out to a large and opened field, where they decided to spend the last few hours together training. Fire and water clashed together, dancing with a ferocious intent that bordered on dangerous play. But that was what it was. Just a game they trained together, trying to overpower their opposite, but finding that they were still able to hold their own. In the end, Gandrian only won because they moved from elemental to physical. While Altima was one of the toughest women there was, perhaps even tougher than many men, Gandrian still had a slight upper hand strength against her due to natural differences in their biological sexes. The blonde just chuckled at that, gave him a near rib-breaking congratulation pat on the back, and then nudged him off towards the West. He was reluctant, but when she threatened to beat him down if he didn??t, he relented with a laugh of his own. On the fourth day, he made it to Hieronidan, where he easily stepped through the Elvin gates. Being here always reminded him that he was an Elf as well, and it brought on questions of whether or not his parents were somewhere in this kingdom. When he was younger, Gandrian would often ask his caretakers if there was something wrong with him. Why would his parents leave him, why didn??t they want him, why was he alone? He became obsessed with the concept of family and searching for it, but as he grew older, he tried to cope without. Some things were not meant to be known, and he realized that if his family didn??t want him, then he didn??t want them. That??s what he told himself, at least. But every so often, he couldn??t help but keep an eye out for anyone that would resemble what he looked like. Some woman with similar eyes that he might have gotten his from, some man with similar features? but there were none. Just empty roads that led to dead ends. With Valen, he wasn??t as frightful. Perhaps it was because he trusted his best friend the most or perhaps it was because he was given a few nights of rest without fearful touches. Whatever the case was, he found himself nearly clinging to the Eldest Knight??s side, trying to soak up any comfort that he could get from the other blonde. A few times he had run into an Elvin General, and those had been strange incidents indeed. Valen called her General Arioch. Once, he even said she was General Hardass, but blushed when Gandrian asked him how he would know what her ass felt like. Apparently, it was a joke among the people here, as he didn??t understand it and made the others embarrassed to realize what it sounded like from the outsider??s prospective. ??She??s a good person though. Just tough to get along with if she doesn??t want to get to know you.? Valen explained, throwing small pebbles across the pond they were resting at. Glancing over towards the Cardinal Knight, he smiled at seeing how strangely boyish the other male still appeared after all these years. It was a trait that Brand had as well, and he wondered how the other blonde male was doing for a moment. The last he had seen of Brand, the youngest had shot up half a foot??must be puberty. The Champion Knight wondered how tall Brand was going to get, and if he was done growing at the grand total of five feet, then Valen knew he had to prepare himself for a long period of comfort time for the youngest. While Valen lost himself in thoughts on the other knights, now moving onto how much trouble Altima must have gotten into, Gandrian continued to have stare out across the pond and half at his companion. This was perhaps his only chance alone with Valen for quite some time, and he wanted to get advice from the Eldest. It was almost trained into them, but whenever any of the knights had something they needed help on, going to Valen was the first option, then it was Cecelia. It was a known fact that the Eldest knight had a strong sense of wisdom, but also, because they trusted him enough. ??Vali? um? can I ask you something?? he began, as he had attempted with Brand a few days earlier. ??Yeah, what??s wrong?? the blonde paused in his pebble skipping and turned his attention towards the silver-blue. ??Well, it??s just? about Atlantia?? he couldn??t help but drift off, unable to word this correctly. He didn??t even know the correct term for what he felt, so how did he expect to explain it to Valen and get an answer. What was even his question? ??I??m not really happy there. Maybe? you think Kali would move me somewhere else? Or maybe I can stay in Elzier and help protect there.? At that, Valen frowned. It wasn??t as if he threw out the idea completely, though. He wanted his companions to enjoy their stay wherever they were, and knew that it was needed for the Four Pillars??something he had overheard people dubbing them??to be at the four stations of those under Elzier. Both idea conflicted with what Gandrian was trying to say, so he shrugged and reached over to give the other knight a firm squeeze on the shoulder. ??Why don??t you like Atlantia? Kali had chosen that area for you because of your love for water bodies.? he attempted, hoping to lead this conversation into something reassuring for the other knight. All he got in return was a shoulder shrug and a small ??just because??. At first, he thought about scolding Gandrian for being childish??something he only expected in their youngest??but thought better about it. Reassurance didn??t mean snapping at the other person, so instead, he took a deep breath and sighed, before pulling Gandrian into a gentle embrace. Minutely, he felt the cool body slide closer towards him and cling onto him like some child in desperate need of attention. ??Hey, be strong, okay? I know it seems tough now, but you??ll understand it all one day.? he spoke, thinking that Gandrian was just homesick. ??But it??s more than that! I just? they?? ??They?? Valen raised an eyebrow. ??Do you hurt you? Are you injured? Do they yell or hit you?? he suddenly rushed out, pulling back and pushing the silver-blue back far enough so that he could assess if there was something he had overlooked. Nope, just a slightly scrawny knight with baggy clothes and the most innocent, deep sea-blue eyes he had ever seen. The Cardinal Knight pushed at the other male??s arms a bit, as if to deny that claim physically. ??No, no? they??re? nice. Too nice?? At that, the Eldest Knight just sighed and shook his head. ??It??s just something you have to learn to live with, Annie. People like you.? he teased. Sometimes, he wondered if Gandrian was able to accept that he wasn??t just a stable hand or a servant any longer??that he deserved affection like the rest of them and respect like any other person. They would be his family, despite him claiming that he had none. No words were spoken, but he hoped it was enough for Gandrian to know that they were there for him. At the response though, Gandrian just gazed up at his best friend with vibrant and faintly confused eyes. ??Something to learn to live with??? was that just it? Was Valen numb to the bad feelings that it came with? ??Right.? he murmured, turning his gaze downwards now that he knew Valen wouldn??t understand. With Valen, he got the closest to telling what had happened, but it didn??t seem like the other male cared too much about it. ??Come on, it??s almost night. Best for you to get going back before it??s too late.? the Eldest Knight stated, standing up and patting his pants free from any dust or dirt. The younger male was less than inclined to get going, but Valen patted him on the shoulders and told him that he needed to stay strong. ??Go.? he encouraged once more, before pushing Gandrian towards the direction he needed to be heading towards. Gandrian spent the journey back to Atlantia wide awake and staring up at the night sky. Sleep was elusive to him, but gave him a chance to watch the clouds reel across the sky. He had heard once that if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, it doesn??t make a sound. So he wondered If a person cries in the night, and no one sees, are the tears real??or just a figment of his imagination? The Cardinal Knight looked up and the clouds looked down, maintaining their silent trek across the sky. Still there were no answers. He soon realized that his fellow knights were unable to help him in this. Of course, he should have realized it??they were dealing with their own problems and issues in their own quadrants??how would they have time for his? But in the end, he knew that Cecelia would be able to fix things. All she had to do was take him away from Atlantia, to separate the bad memories from the good, and he would be fine. Over the course of the next few months, he gained but a few answers and more than enough unanswered questions. Of the few he did get answered, he wished he didn??t know. Firm bodies that pressed against his became bolder, more demanding, more aggressive. His eyesight was getting better at seeing in the dark waters??something that he realized was naturally shifting for him as he got older perhaps one of his abilities as a water elemental? Whatever it was, he soon found it easier to see the shapes of these people invading his personal bubble, so to speak. He still struggled??how could he not???but still, he was often times overpowered. Gandrian wondered if he was weak, if he even had a chance of fight back. Why was he guardian if these people were stronger than he was? Sometimes, he blamed himself for not fighting back hard enough, for not striking to kill. But he couldn??t. Not when he could clearly see that the figure was of royal decent. The frills and their elegance, the hauntingly golden and black glow of the unique gem eyes that every royal family member of Atlantia had. He couldn??t tell who was who, but he prayed that it wasn??t Lilly or Pegasus. They had been his closest friends since he had gotten here. Maybe he should have prayed harder though. Because one night, he found himself held tight against the hard body of a prince, while the softness of a female??s body pressed against his front both bodies a familiar touch. The morning before this night, he had fought his fears and confronted King Irmak about it. Irmak had scoffed at the statement, trying to maintain a sense of decorum and not offend Gandrian with his words. But they were cutting as much as Irmak had meant for them to be teaching. It was the job of the royal families of the quadrants to help guide and teach the knights in their care the way into adulthood, after all. Irmak had told him that humility was something that would get him further than conceitedness. That saying ??someone of the royal family has been sneaking into my bed at night? wasn??t a good way to claim his sexual prowess. Gandrian wondered what that even meant, but kept his mouth shut. Following that, Pegasus had defended him, saying that it might be best for them to have a watch out??there were many of them in the family, and it was clear that no one trusted others. How wrong he was to trust that Pegasus had meant to protect him as a friend. As he felt the two bodies meld against him, he heard the softest whisper??most likely accidental??of his name. He??d know that voice anywhere, and he finally understood that perhaps not all of the siblings realized that they were messing with the same merchandise. That maybe, it wasn??t because they desired to do these strange things to him, but rather, because he was a brand new toy for the royal children to play with. ??Fight back.?? his mind told him, furious that his body wasn??t listening to him. Instead of throwing harsh punches and kicks, his body twitched with fear. The last time he had actually hit one of them in the face??a sickening and satisfying crack of bones under his fist??he found out quickly that they knew lightning spells. Maybe he could have fought it, but at this close range, where he was caught unexpected, the spikes of pain rippled through him and caused him to spasm like a landed fish. He didn??t know what else to do but wait it out. Wait it out, and then, Cecelia would make it better. But she didn??t. Not in the way that he wanted her to. They had gathered at the one year mark to give annual reports of what was going on around their quadrants. Each having reports of small fights here and there, but all manageable. His were less thorough, as he had been spending less time actually handling the problems in his area than handling the problems he had personally. They were brief as they could be though, so that everyone had time to spend with one another and to rest before they had to head back out. Instead of lingering with the other knights though, he had asked to speak to Cecelia in private. She hadn??t objected, but she hadn??t understood as he had hoped. He repeated the same words that he had to King Irmak, but they had a different effect on the pink-haired Queen than it had the Mer King. She seemingly stared down at the marble floor and if she was capable of glaring at it, perhaps she would have. ??Annie, I know that you??re getting to that stage in your life, but? I??d prefer it if you didn??t relay your exploits with me.? At that he frowned and tried to explain it to her, but instead of listening, she merely brushed off his hold and looked at him with a partially pained look over her features. It shocked him to see that, but more so, it angered him that she thought this was some attack on her the further they spoke??how could it be?! ??Kali, you can??t expect me to return there! Don??t you care ?? ??Please, care !?? ??I do care! But please, spare me the details. Gandrian, you??re a lovely individual. Surely you would settle for one of them eventually. Don??t ask me to?? her voice trailed off and left it unspoken. ??Don??t ask me to help you solve your romantic problems.?? were the unspoken words she kept inside. She had no claim on him that was for certain. Gandrian was clearly showing that she was no more than a motherly figure to him, and she could expect no less, what with the small age gap and how they had grown up. Cecelia had only tapped her love interests lightly, what with her feelings on Ranis remaining unclear, the admiration and crush on Valen flicking on and off, and the attraction towards Gandrian that just pulled her? It was selfish of her to remain in the unknown with them, trying to find herself in the chaos of all of it. So she clamped down on the feeling, telling herself that this thread was not meant to be. Her refusal to listen to his ??sexual exploits? made him flinch back from her and glare at her with such anger, she would have noted that something deeper was wrong with him. Had she been looking. With her back facing him, head bowed as if she was defeated, she waved a tired hand towards the large door as if to indicate for him to leave. The Queen was gentle and benevolent, but she was a person as any other. There was only so much she could take. There was a threshold for Gandrian as well. The Cardinal Knight had never known this anger or rage towards his Queen before??perhaps towards anyone??and he didn??t know how to make it go away. She was supposed to help him, to fix this. But then, he remembered the shocking kiss that she had bestowed upon him. Perhaps she meant this to happen? Valen had said she had picked Atlantia for him, so perhaps she knew. Of course she knew. She was the Queen of Light. She had to have known. She had to have planned this. Was this punishment? For denying the Queen the kiss she desired? This was punishment. He deserved this, didn??t he? It was his fault, wasn??t it? Maybe he had asked for it somehow, someway. She had to have known. She had to have known . She had to have known. ??Go back to Atlantia, Gandrian. Don??t let this affect your duty. Please.? whatever she sounded like, it only translated into something cold and cruel in the Cardinal Knight??s mind. And that was enough to make him turn heels and leave the throne room. It was enough to make him turn heels and leave Elzier without a word and return to his punishment. Like a good boy, he spent the next year doing as asked and told. Gandrian continued to suffer sleepless nights, trying to fend off the hands harder and harder. It always hurt his pride and body when he lost. Sometimes, just sometimes, he would escape from the pulling and demanding hands and bodies. He didn??t know how he did it those times, but he??d find himself bubbled on the surface by escape and dry heaving his relief of being spared the violating touches for that night. ??Why had he asked for this??? he would ask himself. What did he do that they thought he wanted this attention? Questions still circulated in his mind over and over, seeking for answers in the clouds he stared at, but none of which gave him answers he craved to solve this. Then there was the other aspect. Vayne. The man listened to him most of the time. Listened to him vent and shout and breakdown? some nights, he had to really wonder why Vayne was seen as such a bad guy in everyone??s eyes. They weren??t friends though??he??d never allow himself to believe such a thing was possible. But Vayne? Vayne was like his brother and father figure that he didn??t understand. He was the counterpart to Cecelia in almost every way, even in this aspect. They had grown up together he had served both of them and looked up to them like siblings and parental figures. ??Can I tell you something, Vayne?? he asked one night, his tone neutral and devoid of the emotions he had shown the other male countless times in the last month or two. ??You can tell me anything, Gandrian.? He wondered how much of that was true. But he couldn??t find a reason right now to counter that argument. ??I don??t think what they??re doing to me? it??s not right.? it can??t be. Not when he hates it so much. Not when their hands dirty him like he??s some toy to pass between them. And soon, the anger is back, bubbling in his veins with rage and pain and shame. Something akin to mischievousness flashed in Vayne??s eyes, but went unnoticed as Gandrian had closed his eyes to prevent the rage from releasing outwards. He had to hold it in him, because as a knight, he knew shouldn??t lash out stupidly. It was then that he felt a hand on his forehead, causing him to jerk hard and away. ??What are you doing!?? he wanted to cry out loud, but instead, he didn??t speak and just stared at Vayne with wide eyes. ??It??s not right. Did Cecelia tell you it was right? Have you asked her?? the silken voice asked, black strands shifting over the broad shoulders and dangling before Gandrian??s face. The silver-blue wondered when Vayne had grown such long hair, or if he had always had this length. Unconsciously, while he wondered why he didn??t feel frighten by having someone so close to him as he normally did these days, he reached out with a hand and grasped the dangling strands. The Dark King twitched at that, but his small, ??reassuring?? smile continued to stretch on. ??She knows? she has to know?? he murmured, defeated and informing. The hand was comforting though, so he sighed and allowed the strange petting. Memories of the past flickered behind his eyelids, of days that he had observed Cecelia and Vayne interact when the two were younger and still under the same roof. Before Vayne changed and became a ruthless general and then King of his own empire. But really, were things so different between light and darkness? Just one side fighting for what they saw as the right way to handle things? such thoughts made him frown, and realize that the words that Cecelia had uttered years ago were true. He was weak??what was he thinking of?! But? but was she right? What if she had been telling him that to get him to listen to and obey her? She knew. It was the only truth in his mind that he couldn??t understand but knew . And it hurt more than he had the strength he had to stand up against. ??Why do you still listen to her then?? Vayne asked innocently after a few moments?? pause. Why did he listen to her? Why did he let this punishment go on and on when he wanted nothing more than to bathe himself nightly to rip off the disgusting touches that they marred his flesh with? Gandrian didn??t have an answer. He shook his head back and forth, before opening his eyes and staring up at the only other figure left that seemed to believe that he wasn??t showing off sexual prowess, but that he had unwanted visitors in his bed. They were nice, but they were too nice. If it made sense. Was it nice though? Maybe too nice wasn??t a good thing. Too much of a good thing could turn bad? maybe that was it. It hurt and as the Ajax moon shifted in the sky, shining a glowing pink hue over the night sky, Gandrian looked beseechingly up at Vayne. Childlike eyes that plead to take this pain away, to take the suffering that he didn??t understand away, and were wide with trust? they search for an answer and hoped that his trust in a elusive family-figure, be it brother or father, would save him. And in return to his pleading, innocent eyes, Vayne??s lips stretched into a reassuring, triumphant grin. The answers that Vayne had been searching for had finally revealed themselves. Through the steps and patterns of life, it had revealed the perfect opportunity that he had been searching for. It was ironic, really. Cecelia had unconsciously pointed out the pillar that had the strongest emotions, guising it under the title of a weak heart. The Atlantian royal princes and princesses that unknowingly played their parts so well. There were six of them, he had observed, lurking in the shadows of Aegean to find any of Gandrian??s weaknesses. And the best part? Oh, Vayne chortled within himself with mirth at the fact. The fact that the teenager before him, just peeking towards the age of twenty in a few short months, was too much of an innocent to realize that none of this had been his fault. Molestation and rape? violation came in the most cruel form, and for it to be his first experience carved a deep enough wound for Vayne??s darkness to implant itself and fester. It wasn??t even a surprise that things had fell as they had that the other knights were none the wiser. Perhaps one day they??d see the signs of what had occurred in the Eastern Kingdom, but until then, it gave such a window of opportunity. The opportunity to win over the Cardinal Knight to have the childlike innocent learn from his hand and serve him without question. An easy manipulation really, that was made available by the very people that the Cardinal Knight trusted to protect him. Steps and patters and rhymes of life? pieces fell together like a puzzle that Vayne realized he didn??t even need to lend a hand in fitting. And now? Now it was his for the taking. To feed the dried out sponge exactly what he wanted it to have. Leaning closer to Gandrian, his hair a flowing cascade of darkness bleeding over their faces, he hover his lips just before Gandrian??s ear. In a puff of warm, soothing air, he could win over an undiscovered power that had been quiescent under the guise of a lowly orphaned Elf. Just seven words? eight syllables? one promise. ??I can make the pain go away.?