Thread: Abortion: does the man have a say?

Firm Master said I'm concerned about how you think it's fair that men can't sign away from the child, but a woman can indeed literally dump their child at any time for no reason at all. Many agencies are required to take an unwanted child without question at any time from a mother. So in regards to a man signing away from it, a mother already can get that. The so called bond you talk about is also terribly unfair to refer to. You assume all women who have children get this undying love for their spawn while in reality it has a huge range, going down to viewing their child as a parasite of their body. We do have a lot of laws to prevent a father from seeing his child, but practically none that allows them to escape the obligations that would be expected if they were there. I'm all for abortion as well, don't misunderstand that. I just wish men had a way to wash their hands clean of such a situation like women have. Click to expand... I should have qualified that not all mothers bond with their children and not all feel maternal after the birth. I do think it's fair to say though that the majority of them feel strongly about what befalls their kids and would step in if a father had second thoughts about full custody. Although a very small percentage of mothers to give up their children, they're often slaves themselves to vices or emotionally unequipped for motherhood due to their own early experiences. Some men on the other hand can be extremely cavalier about contraception and selfishly put their own desire for maximum sensation first, avoiding using condoms and uncaring of whether the woman falls pregnant or contracts a STD. Not all men but some men and and a significant percentage. Men do have a way to 'wash their hands' in some respects and that is to be vigilant about contraception. They should take total responsibility for where their semen ends up, in exactly the same way women should take total responsibility for what winds up splashed all over their birth canal. Unprotected sex should not be had unless you're in a committed relationship where both parties have been STD screened or a poly relationship where all fluid bonded parties are aware and consenting of one another and STD screens are had and the woman is religiously on a form of birth control that suits her body. The guy should even then take what responsibility he still can and ask his partner if she's taken her pill or whatever before they get frisky. Killing the mood for 30 seconds should be far preferable to 20 years of parenthood. Bottom line is that if everyone took absolute personal responsibility for their own sexlife and stopped blaming the other party for 'causing' a pregnancy, there would be none of this bad feeling. The other issue is that if the father can wash his hands and the mother has a new baby and can't work, the state winds up raising the baby. If men weren't held to account for paternity, however accidental or unwilling, the bill for the taxpayer would be astronomical. You can ask 'why should an unwilling father be forced to pay?' but the obvious question is who else is going to? Why should the state take responsibility for raising a child financially just because you couldn't keep it in your pants? The other problem with absolving fathers is that there's always two sides to every story and the state shouldn't spend its time and resources trying to make that kind of call when it's only ever one person's word against another's. You might not like the system but by acting as a deterrent for irresponsible oat-sowing it's very much doing its job. FYI I can't take hormonal contraception because of other medication I'm on and I couldn't have a coil fitted because my cervix has never been dilated and it was too painful. My contraception of choice is condoms, along with lube to make sure there isn't enough friction to snap the latex. I'm in my 30s now and the very few times I've experienced a mishap, I've had an extra strength morning after pill because hormonal drugs work less well on me from my GP and everything's been fine. So I'm walking my talk. If I do fall pregnant I certainly won't have any bad feelings towards the guy, because I will know that I did everything I could to avoid it. I wouldn't have the child but that's as much for medical reasons as it is about personal choice. If your serious about not becoming a parent, it's not rocket science.