Thread: St. Marriott's (ClearSight & SomethingEsoteric)

Heidi was overjoyed to hear the agreement, shed even managed to keep herself excitable through the insults that had reached her ears, they didnt seem to faze her in the slightest. While Heidi was no more immune to cruel words and misdoings as the next girl her age Tamera couldnt hurt her anymore and her friends were never too terrible a problem. Shed been bullied for a while and that while had bought her some tolerance, shed been given a reprieve for another handful of time and in that reprieve shed learned how to love herself, or at least how to be okay with herself, shed learned as long as she was okay with herself she didnt much need to care what two mean girls and their mean friends thought of her. In this very moment shed deemed herself, okay with herself, Tamera and the other girl couldnt hurt her even if what they had said was very rude, it wasnt entirely rude on her behalf only. she didnt have to feel bad about what they said about her, she could feel bad about what she dragged Kat into in the process, maybe she could have waited, been more aware of who was around and how they may react -when she heard Seras voice that thought became more true than most rattling around in her broken head. There wasnt much further that big deranged smile of hers could go once it had reached critical mass, there was no way to show any more joy than just a little conveyed on her face beyond words she didnt always have the capacity to string together and actions that werent yet appropriate for the small seedling of a relationship she would see nurtured to much more. Still, it was impossible to keep the worry that had sewn into her heart off her features, emotional a creature as Heidi was when something was up it showed at least in wisps of falter and stumble. If Sera was within earshot, within sight, it meant Sera knew what she was up to, it meant Sera would be would Sera be hurt? should she even care? It didnt matter if she should care , Heidi did. While some parts of Heidi thought that maybe Sera had intended to push her away others knew she was blind to what she did, knew that the Sera she loved would never mean to make her feel this way or do the things that she had shed tried to keep them a secret, tried to keep them a secret like other past transgressions of hers and against her when you loved someone the world had a funny way of showing you just who they really were, Heidi didnt want to believe the girl behind her about to pull off one of Tameras feelers like an insect was who she really was . The grimace that had snuck up on Heidis face matched the one that was skittering around Tameras. Yes, okay. She blurted through squiggled lips, nostrils flaring as they began to leave a scene she would obsess and fixate on for the rest of the night if she allowed herself to, behind Fun. And a smile returned, a touch more refined than her trademark face devouring sort. For some people it was easy enough to know and register how they felt, for Heidi registering how she felt would take a thick pad of paper and more notes than she needed for most classes. It was easier for Heidi to appraise her feelings upon a median. How she felt most often over a stretch of time was how she decided she felt the whole time even if this couldnt be farther from the truth, when there was no feeling most frequently appearing she knew she was too scattered to even attempt a real answer to how are you today? and after enough trial and error she knew that was a question best not answered I dont know. When her and Sera first met Heidi had known she was on the lower end of very upset, the sad end of very upset, the distressed end of wishing things were different. Through the first year of their spellbinding time together she could easily say she was on the upper end of on top of the world, the upper end of joyous, it was all check marks across the board even when things were unwell she knew she had love and she knew she was only a kiss and a hug away from content. Today? Today Heidi was only a breath away from how shed been those years ago, maybe on the upper end, the brighter side of I wish this wasnt happening, she was sad, she was distressed, she was upset and wanting a change desperately but she was on the upper end, on the end willing to go out and make that change, crippled by hope not by despair. So she was ready, she was ready to throw her face in the way of the next best thing to come her way, she was ready to keep it up, keep it in the suns reach, she knew shed been lucky for Sera to find her while she stared down at her feet, Heidi didnt think it would happen twice, Heidi thought this time around the bend in search of someone if she kept her head down shed miss the next person who could make her be on the upper end of all. You girls go on ahead, Yeah sure, I would love that! Heidi agreed with brittle happiness as Tamera ferried away the rest of the pack of bitches she called friends. They werent truly friends, they were just as brittle as the veneer Heidi had on and just as empty as what lay beyond Tameras. Seras approach had been the first thing to tilt her ever changing scales unfavorably. Tamera could live a happy life in complacent games of make belief till one vine in the thicket of lies she had tangled got a tug. While she knew Heidi had never spread the truth behind the lies she didnt know if she never told Sera, of the damage that dangerous smile could do given the chance Tamera didnt even want to begin thinking she didnt want to begin thinking because it would keep her up all night, obsessive fixation with no end, fitful tossing and turning and a sweaty bed sheet were in her future if this wasnt resolved and resolved has at that. Heidi knew everything there was to know about Tamera really, they could easily have been considered best friends their sophomore year of high school and at the very least buddies through a few others, Senior year didnt afford them so much time together but there was one night in particular Tamera had felt closer to her than any girl shed ever met then the resulting morning after that left her feeling like she couldnt run far or fast enough in every other direction. Much like Sera, if something threatened Tamera in almost all cases she was prepared to take almost all action to make it stop maybe if not for the spades of shame, guilt and remorse Heidi was so visibly susceptible to theyd be a trio of that trait. It was almost ironic to think the one of the three who was born and living through her legitimate mental illness was also the only of the three who really adhered to societal morality almost to a fault. As the girls fluttered off in their own directions Tamera was left sizing up Sera with a snooty look on her face like shed just smelled piss on Seras person, her lips were pursed and her taking on the odd wrinkle, she really did match the illusion shed tried to take on for herself perfectly when she wanted to. Her arms crossed over her chest, under her less than modest breasts wrinkling the otherwise starchy pleat of the buttons that kept the shirt together, the top three undone for more than just a tease the moment she walked out of a class room and into her weekend. While she furiously would fight the fact she wasnt gay she did apparently love to flaunt her body before the other girls purely to show them what separated her from them, what made her better, of course that was all - the small show of the border of her lace bra behind her wrestled shirt was of course for the sake of jealousy not vicarious pleasure from the odd stare she received. Lesbian tendencies in St. Marriotts werent uncommon they also werent any less stigmatic than anywhere else. If it happened behind closed doors in many cases it was seen as favorably promiscuous, if it was out in the open it was just like anything else an easy target for alienating, lock enough women in a building and there was sure to be enough friction to light it aflame with the right catalyst in reality most girls fucked with you first and thought of the reason to after, Tamera was no exception, any reason that presented itself was reason enough. These were just the normalcies soul to St. Marriotts, like the cold that was constantly passed around the school, every girl got it at least once a month like anywhere else they just had a more delicate inside joke for their menstrual cycles. Oh no, I wasnt doing anything important. Tamera responded with the same feigned sweetness over a dagger sharp undertone one not of disdain for Sera herself but for disdain of what she could do to her if she did in fact know what she hoped to high heaven Heidi didnt tell her. -but I dont have all day so if you could make it quick. the final syllable abrupt and pitched like a snip of scissors as she shifted her weight from one perfectly sculpted leg beneath her skirt to the other. Its not true, Heidi mumbled as they walked away, her eyes away from Kat, I didnt spend half my summer in an asylum, I was up north with my aunt Vivian and her two sons. they were just having some fun. Sorry. She wouldnt share the truth behind the angry looking woman who silenced them, her tone coming off as awfully calculated and evened out for the manic little pixie who had been such a ball of wonderful a breath ago it was only a matter of time before she returned to grace the brazen mahogany halls of St. Marriotts. A small nip at her bottom lip followed by her tongue pressing hard against her cheek and fingers once again drumming against her thighs, it seemed like an absent tick but it was that very tick that could center her back in the moment, 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2 Uhm oh, right! things to do cause youre new here mhmm. And as if on cue, there she was. Heidi turned slightly as they walked so she could mostly face Sera without bumping into someone or tripping over her own feet like shed been prone to from time to time. Theres like uhm, a little hamlet fifteen minutes up the road where some of the staff live that has a nice sit-down restaurant and a caf with really good baked treats and drinks kinda like a Starbucks but its owned by this really nice lady and her son they make a really good caramel mocha half-caf frap. or like some of the girls drive further out to the city sometimes but its like almost an hour, the caf here is kinda love it or lump it but its alright too and uhm or some of the girls just hang out in commons but thats she pressed her finger tips together and tensed up a bit before shaking out whatever it was that had her reacting, not really a good idea maybe. I have one of the private rooms up in the seventh but kinda hrmph she didnt want to say it wasnt appropriate for a first date but it wasnt appropriate for a first date and she didnt say it. But whatevers fine, theres even the trails in the forest and stuff. bright smile, curious tone, hopeful teeth on dehydration pitted lips, a small tremble in her hand as she raised it to try and tame her messy hair behind her ears. The reality was, Heidi didnt have anything planned shed planned exactly up to the moment where Kat agreed or didnt, shed planned herself in her arms and left the final act of striking their bond in the eyes of the book in the dark even to herself this period right here? This was all uncharted territory, nervous, hopeful, manic territory she wanted to go perfectly needed to at least go okay .