Thread: Demon Heart (work in Progress)

Feel free to comment or PM me with your comments. I take criticism rather well and look at it as an opportunity to grow. So feel free and I hope you enjoy. This has been a work in progress for the past two years and once done I plan on editing and revising and maybe even seeing about getting it published. I will post a little each day since right now it is quite long. So without further ado here it is DEMON HEART The sound of hoof beats thundered across the lands. The column moved with the precision of seasoned warriors. Behind them, as if following on their heels, were billowing black clouds. Those who saw them coming as they traveled to their destination quickly sought shelter from the coming darkness. The pennants whipped in the wind, heralding who the warriors followed. Those who saw them quickly hid in terror. Each pennant was made up of blood red cloth with a sword and shield emblazed upon them. They symbolized death and destruction to their enemies. The encroaching storm was not just in the heavens, but on the earth with these warriors. Soon all hell would break loose and it would be lead by a warlord with one hell of a reputation. The riders reached the ridge and pausedshoulder to shoulder on horseback, and in one solitary line on the horizon- blending into the dark clouds behind them. They stood motionless for what seemed an eternity. A section of the line parted and a lone rider stepped forth. His horse was a dark black steed. Those who saw him in battle said he rode a steed from hell, swearing the horse breathed fire. The steed was something to behold but the rider was something that was made of nightmares. People believed he was the devil himself come to wreack havoc. An impressive figure, he sat tall and calm in his saddle, an aura of malevolence swirling around him. The rider and animal seemed to be one. Steely grey eyes peered out of the visor, surveying the land before him and fixated on the keep before him. The keep was strategically placed upon a cliff overlooking the sea. Scanning for life and finding none, he made his move. He raised a gauntleted hand and another rider approached him. He was shorter in stature than the Demon Lords and rode a tan roan. Your orders, my lord? he questioned. Let them know we are here and our demands, Jared. Even his voice, deep in timbre, seemed to reek evil. Yes my lord. Jared replied. He grabbed the reigns of his mount and rode toward the keep at a canter. At the halfway point between the Demons Lord army and the keep he stopped. Blue eyes searched for sign of life on battlements but there is nothing --no movement. He lifts the visor of his helmet up and spoke. Lord Kenny! he bellows. The Demon Lord is upon your doorstep. By order of the King, you are to relinquish your keep and all property contained within or associated with, to he who waits beyond your gates. No answer, not that Jared expected one. The Lord within was known not only for his brutality but for his cowardice. If you do not open your gates and surrender to the Demon Lord, he will have no choice but to unleash his vast army upon you and yours. His only answer was the winds that blew gently but suddenly seem to fill with rage. Jared turned and headed back to the ranks. Upon reaching the Demon Lord, he went to speak but was halted when his lords hand came up. Turning his mount around, he looked to the keep. The castle doors slowly opened then stopped. It was wide enough that a rider was slowly able to exit. Too small to be a knight by his looks, the horse he rode was bigger than he was, the young mans feet not even reaching the stirrups. Jared looked at the Demon Lord. He could see anger and rage, a devastating storm mixing and churning in those steely eyes. What is this! he evil voice declared. Lord Kenny sends a mere boy to a mans job? The rider sat ramrod straight before replying. Lord Kenny does not believe you are worth his time. This keep is Lord Kennys and nothing anyone can say or do can change that. A new sound carried on the wind. At first Jared thought the Demon Lord was coughing, but as the noise grew louder confusion settled in. The great Demon Lord was laughing. You are still a mere boy. You are not even a quarter of my size. he growled. The bellowing wind could easy blow you down. I can fight as well as you! the boy hissed. You wish to fight me? the Demon Lord responded, clearly amused. His reaction seemed to anger the rider more. Aye! the boy yelled. If I win you and your men must be off. Try not to hurt him. You were that young and foolish once. Dont remind me, Jared. The Demon Lord pushed his horse closer, stopping halfway before the boy. So be it. When you are ready. After what seemed an eternity the two riders kicked their horses, heading for each other. Dirt, grass and rocks flew in their wake. Grey eyes stayed upon the rider before him. Thats when he saw it,---an opening. He smiled, something the Demon Lord did not often do. He would not hurt the boy, but the child would surely remember his place. As he got closer he grabbed his sword, quickly spinning it so the blade faced behind him and the hilt faced the oncoming rider. Seizing the opportunity, the Demon Lord pushed the hilt of the sword into the boy. The sheer force knocked the child off his mount. Slowing his horse down, he spun to make sure the lad was okay. The boy was not moving. He moved slowly toward him and noted the boys helmet was off. The Demon Lord knew no fear before, now it clenched his heart. He bellowed for Jared as he jumped off his beast of a horse. Something wasnt right, Jared thought. The boy didnt get hit that hard. He wasnt moving though. When his lord yelled Jared spurred his horse forward. As he approached he watched the Lord pick up the boys body. Holding the lifeless one in his arms, he turned to Jared. He halted his horse so fast he was dismounted involuntarily. It was no boy. It was a girl. A scream reached their ears and both men spun toward the keep. An elderly woman came running out toward them. Ye brutes, what have ye done! Shes but a child, a mere lass. The Demon Lord wasted no time, heading toward the keep with the woman in his arms. As he approached the woman he spoke, his voice angry and full of venom. Tell me where to lay the lass down and we will help her. The old woman looked at him with angry eyes. After a while she showed him into the keep, heading beyond the great wooden doors. Jared signaled for the rest of the men to follow them into the keep before heading after his lord. He followed the old woman up the stairs and to the right. There was little light in the part of the keep. She stopped and grabbed a torch off the wall and headed further into the darkness. The Demon Lords eyes took everything in. This part of the keep was in bad need of repairs. The woman stopped in front of a small door way, signaling him to follow. He had to stoop down to enter the room. It was small. There was no light, no window, nothing but an old straw mattress on the floor. Anger seized his heart. What is the meaning of this! he growled. The old woman turned to face him. This is the lass room. she replied calmly. Those grey eyes flashed pure hatred and the storm that had been following him seemed to echo his feelings with an earth shuddering boom of thunder. You will take me to the Lords chambers. Now. The old woman nodded and headed out the room. She led him passed the stairs and into another wing of the keep. Where the other had been dark and in need of repair, this one was light and was well kept. Tapestries lined the walls to keep out drafts, candles placed along the wall kept it well lit. The old woman opened a door and he followed. The lords chamber, compared to the cell, was immense and filled with luxuries. The bed was a four poster one, covered in rich silks. A warm fire crackled in the hearth, above which hung a portrait of Lord Kenny. He placed her gently on the bed before turning to the old woman. Who is she? he snarled. The door opened and more women came in, carrying water and healing balms and herbs. The old woman looked at him. She is Leahannon, daughter of Lord Kenny. And the gods help ye, you brute, if she dies. Now leave and let us work. Next thing he knew he was on the other side of a closed door. Never had the happened to him. No one closed a door on him or ordered him around.. His anger was reaching a dangerous pinnacle- like a volcano waiting to explode. He headed to find Jared.