Thread: Romancing Roxanne (XxMoonlightRomancexX  and ...)

The words reverberated in his head even as he watched her walking down the hall. Our love would have to be a secret Our love? Does shecould she possibly love me in the way I love her? Rand had let slip the secret he thought he had guarded so closely for so many years, the secret that filled him with a longing and lust that he was afraid would never be sated. She was walking through her door when something primal urged him to move. Fairly running down the hall, Rand got his hand on the door just before it closed. Gently but firmly, he pushed the door open and slipped through before closing it behind him. Roxanne had stepped aside and was looking at him with a look he couldnt read, but seeing the tears in her eyes caused a few of his own to slide down his face, despite his best efforts to hold them back. He reached his hand up to her face and gently wiped her tears away as he said Im so sorry, Roxanne. When I asked how you could do this toI meanyou werent supposed to know. Ive been keeping I mean its been my secret for many years, and it was always supposed to be my secret, but seeing you with that kid Rand looked down as a few more tears dripped from his eyes and fell to the carpet below. He took a deep breath before looking up againstaring into her startling blue eyes as the feelings he had for her for six years but had suppressed were released to fill his mind and his heart. When I saw you with that boy, it hurt me. I know its wrongI know how wrong it is, but I cant help it. Ive fought this feeling...these feelingsfor so many years, but eventually I just accepted them. I just accepted that I was some kind ofpervert, I guess the word isfor--- Rand looked away as he gathered his courage, then he gazed directly into her eyes as he said---for loving you and desiring you. I love you, Roxyas my sister, but more than thatand II look at your body...and I want that to. I know how wrong and perverted it sounds, and thats why Im sorry, Roxanne. This was supposed to always be my secret, because I didnt want to let you know the truthlet you know the truth and have you stop loving me as your sister, tooI couldnt risk that, because any bit of love you give me fills a hole inside me. Your smiles and laughs make me happyseeing your face always lets me know how lucky I am that youre my sisterhow lucky I am that I get to be near you. Rand looked at Roxys bed , his eyes fixed on a brown stuffed bear. Youre right, RoxyI do spoil the girls Im withI do shower them with gifts and show them off to my friends. Do you know why? He looked up and caught her eyes. I didnt know until just nowI mean just now . I was trying to impress you. I was trying to impress on you how well I treat the people I love. I didnt love any of those girls, of course, but what else could I do? It wasnt like I was going to ask you for a date, was it? No, I did all kinds of stupid things to show you that I was worthy of your love, even if I was your brother. Rand laughed softly. I know you know about my reputation with the girls...how good I am in bed? Suze told me she talked to you about it, so I know you know. Anyway, more stupidity on your dumb brothers part. I did things to girls that I didnt even find attractive. I studied sex books and did my best to make them all satisfied, and do you know why? So people like Suze would tell you how good I was in bed. Rand turned away from his sister and put a hand to his forehead. Im such an idiot! What made me believe that you could ever love me as I love you? He shook his head and turned back to her. An act. Our love. Roxanne, if I thought that you loved me as I love you, I would do anything to have you. Acting like were close siblings? Its never been an act on my part, Roxy. We are close. But youre looking at an actor. For years Ive had Mom, Dad, and you fooled. Every day of every year I ache for your love I lust for your body but all anyone sees, all I allow to showis normal, plain ole Rand. Rand stepped closer until he was face to face with her. He took her hand in his and held it gently as he said I may be a pervertI dont knowbut Im still your brother. If nothing else, please love me that much. He gave her a slightly quavering smile . You said it first, but I should have, and I will now. Just forget it. It was fucking stupid for me to say anything in the first place. Tears fell from his eyes as he turned and walked towards her door.