Thread: This Skin is Stained

When he left, she found herself really start to shake and not from the lack of food. She was just at a breaking point at the moment and trying desperately not to cross a line. She sucked in a breath and just held it before letting it out slowly. They said you couldn't get dizzy when you were sitting down, but if you hadn't ate, barely slept, and were pumped full of adrenaline, you found a way to do so. Sitting there on the bench, she listened to the clock tick down the time until Daniel came back. Her mind raced with questions and scenarios and problems like it usually did. It was more chaotic now then it had been, but her thoughts eventually arranged themselves. It made her eyes hurt to think about all this crap. Probably why she popped pills. Drinking was fun and everything, but it cost a lot more and she could drink more guys under the table despite her lighter weight. Besides, it was never fun to drink alone. She didn't know how much time had passed when Daniel returned, but she knew it hadn't been much. She could smell the food and whatever he had brought for her to drink and she felt her thin shoulders sag a little with relief. At least it was something she could eat. She just hoped she could stomach it for longer than five minutes. She'd have to eat really slow. Rubbing her stomach, she watched him unlock the cell and the door swing open. She didn't even think about bothering to leave. Being dizzy and not friggin' stupid made it so she didn't even consider trying to dart out. She wouldn't have gotten far anyways. She listened to him talk and just waited, knowing he was eventually going to give her the food. However, she heard him open the baggies and pop open pill bottles and she sat up a little straighter, despite the swim her vision did. He was giving her pills? She doubted he would give her anything hardcore. Probably something to help her sleep. Still...it was a nice gesture... Danica watched him walk in and she realized she had forgotten how tall he was and big. He wasn't too big, but he was a lot of man to handle. She found herself leaning back to actually be able to look him in the face as he put her food down and leaned in close. She didn't want to smile at some of the things he said, but she did, even if it was just the slightest twitch of her lips. But she looked away from him when he started speaking about being cruel. She'd heard all that crap before. About being sorry for being cruel. She'd heard more horrible insults before, but it was different when it came from someone you actually had history with. She frowned a little, bit her bottom lip and then turned away from him slightly as he walked about of the cell. She was tired of the hurtful things. She wanted someone to say something nice for once and actually mean it. She heard a drawer open as she took a sip of the lemon tea and actually sighed a little. She had been afraid it would hit her stomach too hard, but it soothed it just right. Hesitantly, she grabbed a sandwich and took a bite, careful to keep it small. It wasn't too bad. She looked up at him again, eyes looking more like her own a dash of curiosity and that old innocence that showed some of her age as he carried in the blanket. She'd always been a fan of the color yellow if it was light enough. And sometimes the really neon yellow because it glowed in the dark. However, it was his words that really had her attention. Her eyes went glassy and distant, watching the blush hit his face. Had those words made her sad? Some little part of her felt...disappointed. If you're willing to pay, I can't really say no, right? She whispered, taking another sip of the tea. Her voice was hollow. She could say no. She had every right to say no. It was her body, no matter who was willing to pay. But still...she had expected something more for just a brief moment. That he really wasn't going to sink that low. Some stupid little bit of hope welled up and piped up with maybe he just means a safe place to stay. Eating more of her sandwich slowly, she contemplated the offer. It just made her feel sad on the inside. And hateful towards herself that her body wanted that thrill. She had tried so many things to deal with the guilt- healthy things at that, but nothing had ever truly worked for long. One day she'd stop hating herself so much and maybe truly let go, but she wasn't at the point and right here, right now, she really didn't see herself living long enough to get to that point. Sure...I guess... She answered and felt her stomach churn unhappily.