Thread: A New Life, a New Start, a New Me

Changes are how we live with who we are. How we evolve and become better or newer. Something that's fresher and can be evolved even more effectively then the last form. I find myself heading through stages rapidly. I almost like a kaleidoscope some days. A lot of changes - since my last journal entry. Announced my Handfasting to my parents and family on Christmas - that will be May FirstThis weekend. I'm rather excited for these changes of events. A handfasting is something very big to me. I really think this will work out well in the end - Max has been beside me every step of the way since we started our training. Originally he was supposed to be my pain trainer for BDSM, evolved into more when his pet 'Kitten' decided to get too territorial. It went from there and continued to change and meld into what I have now. A rather stable and understanding relationship that is fluid-formed as well as solid. We understand each other and bend and changed to the wills that the others need. I'm a different person then people knew in September. I went through a lot of anger phases living with someone that likes to spark your anger does that but in the end I think everything really worked out. I moved out of my mothers, became an adult and got my own place. This month is the start of owning the whole upstairs of the place I live - meaning I own basically halfone-third of the place I live. It's exciting - knowing I'm really starting to get somewhere in life. I applied to an online academy - to hopefully get my Diploma or GED I hope they don't reject me. I have high hopes for this - and if this doesn't work, I'll apply at another school. The GED program in Portland is just too fucked up for me. The process is highly time and money consuming - and you can't miss a SINGLE meeting without having to pay for the whole course over againno buts. It's rather annoying, and that's why I haven't gotten it before this. None of the highschools will take me as a Night-Student because Roosevelt won't give me my fecking transfers - meaning no High School Diploma unless I go through other means. Those other means would be Portland Youth Builders - which would be an amazing course of action - but I have to be there EVERYDAY without fail. But that's hazardous to my workschedule, and though they pay you for every day you attend - it's not enough to keep my place. Even with Max starting his construction work - it'll be a bit before I can attend something like Portland Youth Builders. That and they prohibit the substance known as Marijuana. If it's in your system you get booted from the school. Which is ridiculous considering I'm two steps away from my Green Card. To me it's like someone that takes pain pills - most people aren't kicked outta the work place for taking pain pills. But the moment you have THC in your system - oh HELL NO! It's fecking annoying and makes me want to shoot people in the face with rotten milk. I mean seriously! I'd rather be smoking pot, thank you. It got so bad right after my accident that the Doctor I was seeing suggested I rail three vicodin every six hours to keep from screaming in pain. I learned some basic meditation techniques and have been broadening my horizons - anyone reading this I want you to know that I have forgiven and forgotten anything that has happened with everyone. Everyone has a new slate - this is so that I can evolve myself as a person and find peace with myself - by finding peace with those around me. ONLY one exception to this forgiveness - that's Rageblade, sorry I can't forgive someone for their sick twisted perversions and the implementations that they do in their progression of this particular perversion. Normal perverts are still cool with me. I need to start working harder on who I am, and worrying less on what people think of me. BUT I still need some constructive help. I'm willing to listen to anyone that wants to talk to me. Also anyone I may have wronged in the past - I'm sorry. I am willing to start a new leaf with you - but please understand I'm not getting on my knees and begging anyone for forgiveness or anything of the likes. My days of that kind of stuff here are long long over. I have to get dressed now and go hunt down the hubby to be. Later all.