Thread: Meme

Dear Meme, I will forever hold your story in my heart. You taught me a lot in the four and a half days we were together. I believe, sincerely, that this is what was meant to be, and so our parting was not without tears. However, in your absence the lessons remain the unconditional love remains. Your story began many years before Monday, November 9th, 2009. Your history a puzzlement--Your illness only speculation. I had dreamt of you the night before, a blurry remembrance of what was to be. But, the dream is less important than our meeting. When you arrived at the hospital, brought through the double doors, you had vomit still coating your fur. We laid you upon a yellow towel. You curled, containing the precious body heat you had. I stroked down your cream matted fur, feeling every bone within your body jut from the bountiful chocolate fur. As we positioned you for the Sub-Q fluids you gazed up towards me. Blue eyes, whole, deep and spirited met mine, I felt it graze my soul as it settled within my heart. When the technician finally sliced through your silken skin with the needle we merely stayed locked in our own world. I had reached then, to curl around you as the fluids began to flow into your weakened form. I pressed my thumb between your large eyes, gently traveling between your ears. It was at that moment we had exchanged our love in the thickening silence. In an instant you were purring, rubbing my fingers across your soft coat. You need not know the words exchanged between my manager and myself. I had begun to inquire about your health. The shaven places on your body attested to the many tests they had preformed on you. As we loaded you back into your carrier you wobbled, turning to gaze once more at me through the bars. I left work that day, early. Your eyes still burning into my thoughts. You need not know everything that was exchanged between my mother and I has I retold your story to her. I will tell her, the moment I told her of those blue eyes her eyes shot to mine. She knew you were special, just as I did. We had decided we wanted you, in health or in sickness. You were ours from that moment forward. When we arrived at the rescue center there was no one about, it was closer. The windows were open to the cold air, about 60 cats lose within the small building, the smell of urine escaping from the screens. We called to you, but I did not recognize you amongst the throng of other homeless souls. Calling to you hopefully we merely wanted to catch a glimpse of you. Something held us there, unable to leave. Posted upon the green wooden door was a list of numbers. Calling one by one I contacted a woman by the name of Teresa. I explained who I was, a veterinarian technician that saw Mugsly as she was called today. I told her I knew the situation, that she was ill and without obvious reason. I told the stunned woman then, that we wanted her. She was ours. She tried to talk me out of it, explaining she was an older cat, and very sick without any diagnosis. I simply asked about your story. She told me, Meme, that you were abandoned after your original owner entered a mental institutionnursing home. She explained you went from home to home until you ended up within a pound where the rescue snatched you from. Brought to the rescue you went from foster home to foster home, and even returned from an adoptive home because you did not get along with the other animal. I insisted that you were for us. When Debbie came to unlock the door for us, I never expected to see what we found. The place was terribly small, litter boxes lining the walls, lose cats of all sizes and colors lose and unattended. Through a narrow door way and within a cold tile closet we found you. You were covered in your own vomit from hours before, cold, wet, unmoving upon the floor next to your litter pan. You looked dead, save for the twitch of your tail. Debbie picked you up, saying you were almost dead as your head limply lulled back. I took you from her then, wrapping you in the blanket. Your skin was so cold I will never forget the feeling. Tapping your nose I checked your reflexes you didnt even blink. Those deep blue eyes were dull and glassy widened and glassy. I turned to my mother, expecting her to reject you. Even in my professional opinion you were gone. But, with tears in her eyes she took you from my arms, cooing to you as she rocked you slightly, trying to warm your body with her's in the cold house. Turning to Debbie I told her we were taking you home with us. She stammered, reaching for her cell phone to get permission. The women figured you were dead anyway, so they did not ask for us to sign any adoption papers or pay for you. Walking out we rushed home. You were breathing so hard, drool running down your neck. I wrapped you in a heating pad, within a basket with pillows. Curling blankets around you I placed hot water bottles around you. You were warming, though, your breathing was still labored. I constantly changed the water, making sure it was always warm next to you. I even heated wash rags to rub you down with, trying to absorb the wetness. Taking a syringe I warmed water, and slowly forced you to drink. I mixed up your wet food with water, careful and patient, every 30 minutes giving you only a bit of each. Slowly you began to blink, your breathing calming. You began to respond to me, as I stroked down your head. Youd lift it, nuzzle my fingers. I stayed with you, throughout the night until 300am. I again rose at 630am to find you walking rather steadily around the warmed living room. When I entered you looked up, with those blue eyes and I felt happiness overwhelm me then. My mother and I were very excited for you Meme. You began to eat and drink on your own. I would warm your food. You kept everything down, never once coughing. By Thursday you had the run of the house. I had you curled upon my stomach, your paws kneading my abdomen as your heavy purring giving me peace as we watched movies into the night, warmed by the fire. Your eyes were bright, wide and whole, your affections true as you rolled upon the floor. You seemed to enjoy your collar, the bell ringing with each prance you took. We had fallen in love the moment we set eyes upon you. I had called the hospital, reporting all the progress. Inquiring about your stays in other clinics. They spoke of how no one could understand why you were ill. Through X-rays, and blood work, nothing proved conclusive. Many believed it was a broken heart. I whispered to you into the night, that Id love you for the rest of my life. You were beautiful and sweet. In the four days we had together you gave my life a bit of a purpose. I took care of you only I didnt realize it was the other way around until today. This morning, as I bounded downstairs for breakfast, intent on finally going to school, my mother greeted me. You had fallen over in your water dish this morning at 500am. She found you cold, and wet. She had placed you within your basket again, the one you loved to curl within. The heater was on, even the heating pad, but your body was chilled. Your eyes didnt even move, you wouldnt even blink. At that moment my heart crumbled. I knew, I knew you were suffering and in pain. I sat upon the floor then, weeping so heavily I thought Id burst with my sadness. Your breathing began labored, harsh and shallow, huffing, an audible wheezing. Gathering you into my lap I rushed you to the hospital. I knew then, that there was nothing I could do, that anyone could do. I knew that I had to let you go because I loved you. And when you swallowed that last time, a small twitch of your tail and a tiny ending purr I collapsed. I felt, that I had tried so hard for you Meme I gave you everything I could. But, you gave me more. You gave me unconditional, unquestioning love in four days. Four days such short a time to really love so deeply. But, it showed me love is quick and swift, leaving a ache an its wake. Though, I write this with tears, Meme, do trust that I would never regret it. I learned to let go, and fall in love in silence, without expectation. Please do not hate me, Meme for letting you go so soon. I wish I could have been selfish, kept you. I know I could have nursed you back to health again. But, I also knew youd be sick once more in a couple days. I loved you so much. Each time I walk downstairs now I no longer have to step over gates erected to keep you from the kitchen. I no longer look to see you in the middle of the floor, curled up. You would look up as I came downstairs- not that we were apart often. Youd greet each member with a purr and a gaze that shamed the stars. Meme, I knew you were special. And if this is what fate had for our love, I hope that you will forever be with me. I give you my silent love.