Thread: You play WHAT!?

Actually I was going to... One guy shows up telling me to help fix his character to make it properly balance. I look it over and it seems he's a fairly generic swordsman type... Then I get to his Equipment. He has what would be equatable to 5 different Major Artifacts, which give him, and this isn't figuratively but the actual description he had, The whole power of the elemental plane of fire. ... After I chew that apart and list end over end the reasons why that is a horrible idea and how to balance it he comes back and leaves one comment. He tells me I'm the weakest character in my group. Weakest character, with the whole of a plane of existence at his fingertips, to be channeled at will. Ertai... he's so bad, I can't even go into it. Ortei. She asks me to help her with her character. I look over it, and it's some sorceress type who's a Will Caster, effectively. She has some 100' Magic Aura around her, which functions not only as a limitless source of mana for her, but also as a sixth sense. She can detect, instantly, anything within said aura. I even saw her once stop a bullet she didn't even know was coming because she sensed it crossing into her aura and snapped up a shield in the fraction of a second during that last 100' to her heart. Anyway, all her spells are Instant speed casting, usually has some effect that gives you no chance to dodgesave. Lists her limited manahealth as her weakness but can, at will, instantly drain said resources from anything in her aura, including dirt, rocks, plants, etc. Generally has a lot of mind control abilities, goes to great efforts to describe how apparently everyone interested in humanoid females instantly wants to fuck her brains out and will do anything for the leanest of looks in her direction. So yes, I go and cull it. Despite QUOTING her descriptions as I post my comments Something I always did, she starts ranting about how I'm the biggest moron on the site, I didn't even read her descriptions because nothing she said works the way I had commented on, I don't know what I'm talking about, go to hell, etc. Within two weeks she's begging me to look over her revised character once more. This cycle continues for about 2 months until she finally stops bitching at me. No one can understand why I even still look over her stuff, much less haven't banned her. Oh, and because I hated that guy... Douche bag I know from before comes in, posts his character. Now, in any tabletop campaign if I saw that character I'd say Okay, it's time to retire him to NPC status and roll and new one. Course, that was his justification for being a walking demi-god, he didn't just MAKE it, he grew it out over a decade of RPing. Now, it's full of pretty stupid things. An example is I have such a mastery over the power of Fire that I can instantly freeze anything because Cold is just the absence of heat, so I can drop anything to absolute zero by removing the Fire. Oh, and his abilities to create spaces of vacuum at will, including somehow doing it inside other people. Always the sign someone is a real douche bag when they have to have powers like I instantly freeze your heart to absolute zero, at will, killing you immediately.