Thread: The Asset - Avengers (Moon Struck Fox & Defiant)

Steve was a mess of confusion, of baffling emotions and emotions he did understand but couldn't figure out why he was feeling them. he wasn't sure what he would have done if it hadn't been for Sam. he'd never heard of PTSD before, not a surprise since it wasn't recognized as an honest mental disorder until the 1980's. he was working through it slowly, he didn't have it as bad as some of the men that Sam helped. Sam kept telling him that there was no 'level' to PTSD, there was no 'better or worse' but Steve knew he was doing better than most. he had shot men, he had killed and slaughtered on the battlefield, he had been frozen in ice, he remembered the feeling of the ice creeping over him while his lungs screamed for air. then he woke up in a hospital with a game he'd gone to playing on the radio and knew something was wrong, which had only made the trauma all the worse. the technology of the world, being betrayed by Brock, no. it was Rumlow now. Steve couldn't let himself think of that Hydra assassin as a friend anymore. he shook his head and finished tying his shoes. he didn't want to think anymore. Shield was gone, the Avengers where scattered again, Tony was loosing his mind, Bruce was... somewhere in Rio last Steve had heard. Natasha was still hanging around somewhere. Phil was dead... Steve, as usual, felt his heart clench with guilt and shame when remembering Phil. all he had was Sam and the hunt for Bucky. Bucky who was never where Steve wanted him to be. when had that ever been a surprise though? Bucky had always been extremely independent, if he didn't want to be found Steve knew he would never really find him. but it wasn't like that, he did find Bucky, often. he'd catch him and then Bucky would slide away like water or an illusion. as if he was playing with Steve, mocking him, teasing him the wa he'd used to when they where kids. ' Hah! Steve, you can't catch me! ' a voice from the past, they'd been all of ten back then, before they understood that tag was not an okay game to play while one of them was an asthmatic. he missed those days. he sighed, shook his head and had half a second to realize there was an arm, a metal arm right there before it was caving in his chest. he felt a rib snap and his sternum crack, the bright flare of pain driving out any air that was left over from the impact. he was flying through the air, being attacked, struggling wildly against the arm wrapped around his neck, desperate for the gulp of air that wasn't coming. he was a super soldier, choking him out took longer than it did most people. he was too dizzy and panicked to wonder why the person holding him down wasn't getting tired while he bucked, arched and writhed before finally, finally going still, laying there with his mouth open, body gulping in fresh air even with his brain down for the count. he wouldn't stay out for long though, an hour at the most. an hour and a half if Bucky was really lucky. he was really lucky. Steve was out for an hour and twelve minutes exactly while his ribs and sternum healed and his brain recovered from the trauma of having no air. it made him dream of the ice. the cold, all encompassing ice. he jerked awake with a gasp, gulping in air, rolling to his feet and slamming into the nearest wall, protecting his beck, lifting his fists to protect his front and swinging at empty air, blinking several times in a desperate attempt to clear his vision, confused when he realized he hadn't been tied up, drugged or anything that most kidnappers did to try to keep him down. the hell? Steve muttered, eyes scanning the room, landing on Bucky he went rigid, confused and rather hurt that the man he had trusted all of his life had tried to kill him. again. but no, if Bucky wanted him dead, he'd be dead. he'd been helpless after all, out cold. it would have taken a single bullet, maybe two. one in the heart, one in the head just to be sure. Steve had no doubt that a shot to the heart would kill him. he was tougher, not impervious. so, the question was.... what did Bucky want after all this time? Hey Buck. that's it, go for nonchalant while you completely freak out inside. doing great. can i help you with something or did you just feel like hanging out? well crap, there was the sarcastic sass he just couldn't help but use. oh well, it had never bothered Bucky in the past, maybe it wouldn't now.