Thread: Dominant Women

Mr Quixotic said Ah, I love you Ari, in a completely platonic way, of course!, and the way you express yourself. I pretty much agree with all you said, except with one slight exception, in that I'd completely separate strong, independent, intelligent, authoritative, seductive, from dominant. The latter, to me. has a specific meaning which doesn't necessarily follow on from or directly relate to the others. However, that may just be my sometimes semantic brain talking, and the fact that whilst I look for those qualities in a woman, both in real life and fiction, I don't look for one to be 'dominant over me' or who is 'more dominant than me'. In regards to roleplay, it's the quoted line that got me, as that's how I feel about constantly being asked to write Doms against Subs. It shoe-horns both characters into a little labelled box, whereas people are a lot more complex than that. Click to expand... I love you too, Quix! You're totally spot on about separating dominance from the rest of those traits! The reason I grouped all of those traits together is because DommesMistresses are normally perceived to be strong, independent, intelligent, authoritative and seductive in addition to being dominant in the bedroom or having a dominant personality. The point I was trying to make was that my character shouldn't have to be a Domme or Mistress in order to possess those qualities. They don't even need to be labeled as a Domme or Mistress even if they do like being the dominant entity in the relationship. If you think about my statement like this, it'll sound more accurate to what I was trying to say A woman doesn't have to be this mean, torturous, older, Amazonian type woman to be considered strong or independent or intelligent or authoritative or seductive or dominant. I was trying to say that women can be all those things even without being a Domme. And conversely, actual Domme characters shouldn't have to follow a physical or mental stereotype in order to be considered as a Domme. Hopefully I'm making sense. xD Mr Quixotic said I don't disagree with that at all, Xana, and it goes a long way towards explaining why I like what I do. It doesn't as much relate to the specifics of any Domsub dynamic, as it does to my natural, magnetic attraction to free-thinking mindsets, and those who'll question, or rebel against, the system. One thing I am curious about is, if it is a product of socialisation, - of which having the burden of expectation placed on them to adhere to, many despise -, why don't more of those writing female character in a fictional environment, where there totally free to do what they want, and be whoever they want to be, take the opportunity to break those chains of societal expectation, rather than reinforce them. Even if only momentarily, and I don't mean as 'Dommes', but in regard to generalised gender stereotyping. Click to expand... I think it's really hard to break free from such socialization, especially because these gender stereotypes have been ingrained in our society for so, so, so long. I'm not even sure many women even realize how strong that societal expectation is, and one of the prime examples was brought up by Fruit earlier in this thread I feel most women enjoy the feeling of being desired, cherished, and sought after, and so a dynamic where they are the ones doing the hunting for dicks isn't appealing to most women. In fact, most female characters, I assume, aren't comfortable actively showing sexual attractionsexually seeking partners outside of a pre-existing relationship between the two characters. Ie, for a typical female writer, if she is writing your character's girlfriendwife, she could be the one seeking sex, but outside of that preset relationship, I doubt many female characters would want to be the initiator. A dynamic in which the female is out hunting for dick doesn't mean she'll be any less desired and sought after than if she didn't go out dick hunting. Just because she starts putting in work, doesn't mean the man will just magically stop putting in work. And perhaps that idea stems from the fact that men have usually been the aggressors in relationships, and therefore most people will always see relationships as having one 'initiator' and one 'taker.' And if the female initiates, God forbid it means she just forfeits all her opportunity as a 'taker.' As if both participants can't both be giving and taking. If you ask some women, Are you a sexual agent or a sexual object? Most of them would choose the first option over the second, because no one wants to be an object . But if you ask them, Would you pursue a man you thought was attractive?, I'm willing to bet a lot of them would say no. And when you ask them why, the simple answer you'll probably hear is, Well they're the man, and I'm the woman, and I don't chase after men. There, they are choosing to be the sexual object without even realizing that it makes them an object to be won over. This is the mentality bleeds over into RP, and I ask myself quite often why it still exists. I still haven't found an answer. s