Thread: A story I wrote...

It's been ages since I've seriously wrote any story, and yesterday I wrote something for a class. So tell me what you think! Oh and I'm well aware the grammer is not perfect so here I go!! Evil for Evil There once were two twin brothers Two Heirs to a Kingdom Both Innocent and pure Are you ready my children of the Kingdom? Father would say with a hint of worry in his voice. It was his last words to us before we departed. Father was always worried about such things. He didnt need to worry though. Both brother and I were at the age ascension. Where we both proved ourselves to father by rescuing a Princess held hostage by a lowly witch in a dark tower. My brother and I prepared. We were both ready to take our place as rulers of the kingdom, and to bring Justice to the land and drown the world in ever lasting peace. Are you ready? My brother asked, echoing my father. It was the eve before we left the kingdom. I was standing at the mirror staring at my reflection. Gazing at those blue eyes, that blond hair, and that muscular figure the maidens and suitors of the kingdom so adored. The people loved its kingdom and I as an Heir of the kingdom loved my people We left in the morning, and the citizens of the world were standing nearly placed around the world in the town that lay outside of our pearl white castle. Cheers and Jeers flooded the kingdom, as we waved to the common men. We waved to beggars, maids, to the sick, to the plague. I soaked in their love, and love is what I shall grant them when I take the throne. We left that day, to find that princess, good omens around us. Even the skies were clear blue. We traveled throughout the lands, doing many good deeds. My brother and I kept winning renown and fair. We stopped local robber from robbing a caravan. We killed a Troll living in caves near a village. We prevented the rape of the fairest maiden in another village. The townsmen revered us, while fallen trolls looked at us with both anger and pity. Our journey continued for many moons and many miles. It is then that we arrived at the dark tower holding our dear princess. My brother and I fought our way through the mazes and the traps. We killed the towers dragons, and the goblins patrolling its steps. Blood, and ribs showered the wall, but my brother and I thought nothing of it. We believed in a greater good. Finally we reached the top, to our beautiful ideal princess. There, also waiting for us was the evil witch that kidnapped her. She chanted words then, the moment she saw my brother and I. Words, which wrought fire from the walls, words that summoned chains from the walls, summoned serpents from her mouths. I laughed, laughed at the foolishness of this evil worshipper of all that is unholy. We slashed through those chains, we evaded the serpents venom, and we layer the fires erupting from the walls to rest. At least with one thrust of the sword we killed the evil witch. Her eyes were losing life, but it didnt stop her from saying her last poisonous words Utopias path is close One will be loved, One hated For a perfect world does not exist without evil Her final words in an almost sing song voice rang through our ears. But it mattered not. We rescued the princess, and we returned many moons, and many miles later to the kingdom we loved so much, with our dear princess in tow. However all was not good, we were not treated to the cheers of the crowd, but to a city suffering. Theyre more beggars, more defiled women, and more diseased in our path. The city was suffering. The kingdom was in turmoil. We returned to our castle though with the princess in tow. Our father the king of all was waiting in the throne. He spoke to us in authoritative yet proud tones befitting of a father My sons I am proud, of the tasks you have accomplished, you destroyed all the evils in the land. But the world is in turmoil. Poverty has risen, disease has spread, and the people grow with unrest. But father what shall we do? Our father then took out a golden coin both perfect and pure in its shape and form. Carved in each side are both of our names. He flipped it high in the air, the sun reflecting sharply giving the room a magnificent glow. The coin fell, the golden light vanishing and making the throne room less magnificent. The side had my name on it. At this site, fathers eyes the erupted in fury, and he looked in my direction. GUARDS SEIZE HIM! He bellowed, his voice shaking the very hallways of the caste. Hes responsible for all the suffering of our kingdom. The guards took me immediately, beating me mercilessly. The guards that have come to revere and love me as I loved them betrayed me at the voice of my father. But why? I asked pleadingly Fate has deemed you the source of all that is suffering. All there was darkness. The guards beat me mercilessly. My arms were broken, my ribs shattered, my breaths were hollowed, and everything changed. I wept for the first time in my life time, as blood spilled on to the stone floor of the throne room. I was taken to the dungeons were I was furthered tortured. My skin was scorched my fair blond hair was torn out for hours and days, months. Finally they released me from the dungeons, and displayed me in the streets of the town that lies outside our castle. The people that once showered me with praise, spat on me. The guards forced me on my knees in public and urinated on me. I was clubbed and whipped then in front of all to say. DOWN WITH THE TRAITOR, KILL SOURCE OF ALL OUR SUFFERING. My heart grew heavy, why oh why have my citizens no longer loved me. UGLY SON OF A WHORE SHOULD DIE! I was dragged back to the dungeons, after that horrible day, and for the first time in what may seem like an eternity for me I slept. The evil witch appeared in the dreams I have hoped to take comfort in. You She said to me quietly in my dreams. Will be the embodiment of all the evils of the world. For mortals cannot move towards pure light without and existence of pure darkness. With those words the evil witch had vanished, and I awoke my ribs no longer broken, and my injuries healed as if the passed few days had not happened. Yet some things remained. The horror of what the people did to me left an everlasting scar in my heart. Anger welled up inside me, and without realizing it the dungeon door keeping me from freedom, broke through the sheer will of my thoughts. The guards heard the door break, and came to investigate this miracle I caused. They stared at me, amazed that I recovered so miraculously. Hatred swirled my head, Animosity called my heart. With a flicker of a thought, the guards that came to subdue me were torched in flames. I left that dungeon, the moonlight revealing my path. I escaped the kingdom that I have lived and cherished since my years as a prince. I swore that day, that I would come to end the kingdom. To destroy all that has wronged me. As I reached the road leading out of my kingdom I yelled to at the heavens that son wronged me, at the fates that so hated me. I WASNT AT FAULT THE WORLD WAS! I left my Kingdom at last, and began my quest for revenge. For many months and many rising suns I have traveled all over, I built an army to match my kingdoms army. The ranks filled with rogues, and trolls, of outcast nobleman. Of black knights pursing their own happiness. I trained that army, preparing it for the final battle. I plundered villages far a wide. I murdered children, I defiled women, and I stole from the poor and lined my pockets with what little gold they had. I laughed so hard as my army grew rich and fat. I was an enemy of the world, but that mattered not to me. The day came of that faithful final battle. The borders of the Kingdom were lined with my legions of servants, and cutthroats. With my words I ordered them to invade the country. I entered the battlefield, drinking the carnage of all. My hatred for my old country men was paid, with the decapitation and remorseless slaughter. I battled with my army for many moons until at last I reached the castle I once called home. My dear brother was there with the princess we saved who was now a queen. My brother was now King of the land. I smiled bitterly. My brother leapt into action, with his blade in one hand and his ideals and beliefs in another. With a flicker of a thought I burned the hand, which held his sword, and with the swipe of a sword I Castrated. My brothers ideals, and beliefs and his legacy to come. That serpent which was to create many serpents would be no more. My brother pleaded for the life of his dear wife, and for only one moment I listened. To deal one more final blow to the kingdom, while my brother was tied down to the throne he ruled from by my Faithful guards, I ravaged his wife. My brother was forced to look. Screams and moans, pain and suffering could ring out throughout throne room. Tears were on the floor, as well as seeds to a future a future I envisioned. The kingdom was no more, and my brother and his Queen. Were locked away in the dungeons never to be heard from again. I ruled the world, ruled mortals, and ruled all creatures of the land. My victory brought new songs of my endeavors. The people loved me after I punished them. Yet I did not return their newly reformed sense of love. Yet I felt that the kingdom was not punished yet, I used my armies to cleanse the kingdom of those filthy enough to even think so unkindly of me. Blood painted the roads, heads are decorating the houses, and that feeling of a fulfilled ideal swam once again right into my heart. The kingdom was mine once again though, and I ruled to ripe old age, and left this world with a smile on my face. Payback was my eternal happiness. I passed on to the world of the dead, and as payment for my crimes against mortals I sent to the world of fire, as I watched those that I sent to their graves enter a world of paradise. I smiled kindly, and laughed as if this was all one big joke. Even in death humanity was not punished enough. The Evil witch who appeared to me that one faithful night appeared to me again and spoke to me again of Utopia and fulfilled ideals. The world of fire was no longer an inferno, and I stopped into paradise where my dead father stood, and paradise seemed so much the sweeter.