Thread: What's Within A Heart Of Darkness

RE My Truth, My Apologies, And Other Stuff Thanks guy. I'm actually a bit surprised someone was willing to read my ramblings, let alone respond. I know I shouldn't, and I feel so disgusted in myself when I think about how I get a little excited about that. I mean, have I really fallen that far? Am I really that desperate? Although it's not like I only talk to them when they have relationship problems. They are both pretty cool people to talk to. One is a huge gamer and we usually talk about tips if we are struggling and recommend game to each other. I'm not a big fan of horror games, but she got me into Dead Space, and I got her into Castlevania. The other one, I just like to talk to. We talk about our days, and I tend to also translate for her boyfriend. Her boyfriend is an idiot and likes to have his alone time or his bro time, but he can never put it in the right words to his girlfriend and ends up hurting her feelings. I come in and translate it to where she's a little less mad a him. Both of these girls seem very happy with their current boyfriends, which makes me feel terrible to even think about sabotaging their relationships for my selfish reasons. My best friend is a different story though. She's fully aware of my feelings for her, but I kind of stopped caring by now. Most of my approaches are now just playful flirting, and we have a lot of fun together. I still really like her, but I'm kind of at the point that I'm happy with my current relationship with her and I don't want to risk messing it up. If we get together, then we get together. If we don't, then oh well. I was happy today though, she actually returned the favor and was playfully flirting with me too. It was probably just because it was Valentine's Day, and she's fully aware that I hate and I'm a little more depressed on that holiday. I don't want to be the 'rebound guy' and I don't want to look fake to any of them. It's just that it's been a while since I've gone out with anyone, and it's hard to see when other people look so happy. It's especially worse when I know that the guy they are with is a complete asshole. When they finally break up, I want to comfort them and show them that I can be better, but that makes me no better than the asshole. All of this was pretty much my best friend, she meets guys and immediately falls in love after talking to them for about an hour, which makes things more painful for me considering my feelings for her. I think I'll just take a break and not date anymore, at least for now. I'm happy with my current relationships, and I'm just setting myself up to fail if I keep doing what I'm doing. I'm just going to remain single and enjoy it. Save my money up, do fun things with my friends, spend time with my family. I'm still just 20 years old, I don't need to find true love right now. Thanks again for the advice. I really appreciate it. It's nice to get to get advice form someone that isn't in my usual group of friends, considering a lot of them are idiots. And it's a little awkward to talk about this with any of these girls I'm friends with. Honestly, it feels great to be opening up to people more and wanting to make new friends. It's a nice change from just roleplaying.