Thread: What Do You Fear? [randomname98766789 and Amaranthine]

Bryce was soft and gentle with her and it was everything that Alicia could have hoped for. She met his lips fervently in a need that wasn't sexual but still very much a need of hers - the need to feel close. She could lose herself in that moment and as she laid there she was doing exactly that. His fingertips dug in to the tense flesh of her shoulders and her neck arched just slightly at the contact and the warmth from the release from that day - that week's very growing tension. When his lips fluttered against the sensitive flesh of her neck she craned away, opening up and giving him more access to the sweet spots - hers just happened to be the thin flesh over the bump of bone behind her ear and just above her collar bone where her jugular disappeared under her flesh. He found them and she hissed, a pleased sound rather than one of displeasure. Just keep me close please, her soft tone was barely more than a whisper and she couldn't tear her gaze from his even if she wanted to. She was entranced, mesmerized by every piece of him and both confused and thrilled that the time had come that she could call him her own. Too much time had passed wondering and passing herself over, thinking all those other girls were the right one for him when she knew that she wanted to be that woman. Now she could be and the change was both a shock and a joy, and she wanted to be everything he could ever want in life. What would that be though? How would she know what to do to keep him close? Her hands fiddled with shirt hems and glided over arms and abs and everything in between as she idly touched and explored. Every touch was feather light and delicate, like he - or they - may break if she dared to press too hard. I've never felt so at peace. ---- Maybe one of the reasons they never worked out was that Nick wasn't a pushover - he didn't stand down when she made her calls and Anna thrived on being in control. She needed control of something in her life so she took control of people, used them sometimes without even realizing it. Drugs and distraction and desperation - there was always something she needed to take and take and take. She was never quite happy with herself. You know why I cheated? Because he was there and you weren't, and I was a mess. I know it's fucked and I know it's my fault and it was a terrible thing to do. Her hand was still held by her face and there was fire in her eyes. Sometimes she watched the world spin around her, watched herself make everything worse and worse until there was no way to turn back and undo the mess she had made. She had done it time and time again for as long as she could remember and nothing could excuse her actions when they were terrible - but she wasn't trying to make excuses, not really. It just came out that way and honestly she'd be damned if she tried to actually make sense out of the way her own mind acted some times. She acted before thinking, letting the impulse guide her and the impulse was to self destruct. The bullshit made sense to her in a weird, twisted way and she couldn't fathom a better way to try and explain things. You didn't have to save me you know, she said as she shook her head and her fist fell to her side. Her hands clenched in to tight, knuckle-blanching fists as the anger gave way to a wave of guilt. Just talking about he mess she had made, admitting out loud the things she had done, the things that had caused him so much pain... He was right though - in every sense of the word she was worse than him. She had always fallen deeper in to the pit and she had let a monster consume her and turn her in to a person she couldn't even recognize. We'd both be better off if you hadn't.