Thread: St. Marriott's (ClearSight & SomethingEsoteric)

As Heidi pranced away and toward the seventh she smiled deviously to herself, mischievously excited. Vicariously she imagined this was how a light-hearted rebel must feel, like she was doing something slightly naughty but not so much so it had any real ugly repercussions she imagined this was how it felt to skip school when you were younger or to drink peach schnapps stolen from your mom and dads liquor cabinet. It was a small little swell of joy that carried her up the stairs and into her dorm room, an interesting form for excitement to find her in but it soon passed when she stared at the first thing she always stared at the moment she stepped into her room, the drawer she kept her ring in, her promise ring, a ring that had so many overlapping emotions and meanings that all led to the same lost conclusion Sera was hers and she was Seras they were meant for each other and would love each other and and she wondered if it was warming for her, like she always did. No longer did Kats agreement feel like such a fun win and more a necessary one. With a groan she tumbled over to the mess of blankets that made her bed left unmade. She curled into the mess and hugged her legs to her chest under the Egyptian cotton veil taking inventory of her emotions and thoughts but not giving them the life of obsession or debate. She had to do this and she had to do this now, she needed commitment and she was on a time limit, Heidi knew she could have fun and knew in a very real way she had to she knew it wasnt enough to beguile Kat into loving her, she had to love her back if it was going to work right? She couldnt surmise that if one subject needed to be committed both would have to be. It was something she couldnt lose sight of. Still, she felt like getting Kat to love her would be a far more hard fought battle than loving Kat could ever be, that was how she depreciated and kicked herself around telling herself she had all the love to give but nobody who would take it nobody right-right now at least. Before Sera she felt like shed be a burden on anyone like she was a burden on her parents, Sera had changed that for her but somewhere down the line shed drifted back to that thinking after all, look where Sera had ended up after all this. There was only one viable solution really, one shed wanted to wait on but one thats occupation seemed the only thing that would keep her distracted till whenever tomorrow came. with a scrawled list of ingredients shed quickly jotted last time she had private access to the book Heidi made a quick escape from her room and toward the greenhouse botany classes took place in, a treasure trove for someone so alchemically inclined as herself. Kat wouldnt be able to resist. Tamera shifted slightly on the couch, a small but not unnoticeable admission catching in her throat, somewhere between a groan and a gasp that never got to be realized as the luxurious satin of Seras dress touched the cotton of the lower thigh length cotton of her own skirt, she felt the warm pressure of another body close to hers electrified with innermost wants far too strong to be anything casual. It was just that for Tamera, she was no expert and had barely even scratched the surface of sexual endeavors Heidi, the innocent and joyous little twit she was-was infinitely more experienced and sexually free than Tamera even imaged herself being when huddled beneath the sheets praying not to wake her roommate with deep laboured breaths they all did it, on occasion at least or if not in the shower on the off chance privacy was afforded to the otherwise bustling dorm lavatories. When she touched herself she did it with the utmost discretion, almost as if she thought if someone heard her or even knew she did they would also know the thoughts she did it to, thoughts of women like Sera, dressed like Sera, acting like Sera. what greater aphrodisiac was there than wish-fulfillment? And yet, this didnt feel like her wish, it chocked her the same way and made her stomach twist to knots when it wasnt plummeting with what felt like vertigo she didnt know if it felt greater or less than but she knew it wasnt fleeting like her fantasies could be when fingers focused on sensitive and gracious flesh. So a hot line traced up her arm, tickling the length of the gesture in a damning way a way that made Tamera bite down on her own teeth and grit her jaw ever so slightly the muscles across her face tensing up beneath the bundle of honey and caramel ribbons that was her long spindles of silky hair. An obligatory paw at her food, a compliment just as hollow, Tamera wanted to hiss at Sera and just tell her to get it over with. She still wanted to grasp onto a ghost of hope that she may not know, that she was just being cruel and powerful for the sake of being cruel and powerful, that she was just acting this way because it was no secret that Sera got what she wanted when she wanted it straight girls probably werent the exception to that rule then it became clear that little protection blanket of reasonable doubt wouldnt help her here. Sometimes, knowing your goose was cooked was freeing. Knowing the terrible events that were in store for you could give you time to adjust and adapt. Sometimes knowing from the start a day was sure to be trash was a very good way to put your best face forward and take it on the chin it was better than an unexpected shock in the bottom. this wasnt one of those times, shed seen it coming from a mile away, tried to convince herself it was just smoke and mirrors of misunderstanding her humiliation only festered to a far more black and ugly sludge pumping through addled veins. Her face burned red even through her olive skin, she, for a brief moment felt it spin her head, felt it throb, not only her head felt her insides try to flutter away with fear for the flame shed drawn too close to, it was like hands of pins and needles touching her cheeks and forehead deep breaths and brave faces wouldnt save her now. Fuck with Heidi, your life is over. she could deal with that. Tamera could be terrified, embarrassed, shameful and all in between, she could be paranoid and frightful it really wasnt much a change from what she already was just one more variable. Heidi wasnt the only target of her scorn, just a particularly easy one. Like a proxy, like she wasnt even there, like a child whod just been reprimanded and told bed with no dinner Tameras hand found the arm of the couch and she nearly pulled herself up to leave without so much as a word or gesture beyond a little nod of agreement to the conditions. She hadnt even yet become susceptible to the rage that would be directed at Heidi and the betrayal that fuelled it it would come. I have other things in mind as well Desires of a more personal nature. each honeyed word slipped over the trembling fear she felt within and refreshed the other maddening feel within her. In Tameras world, just like Heidis sex, lust, desire, it was all synonymous with love. Heidi had a bright and innocent wanting behind it, Tameras was more a jaded hope she refused to allow the light of day shed heard too many stories from her friends about flippant fucks to really believe every sexual encounter meant something still, she was only two sexual encounters passed virginity and shed be lying if she tried to say shed not attached feelings to both instances absolutely. after all, when the first didnt work out she spent three years tormenting the would-be partner. Of course, all her fantasies very much rooted in moments like this the minute her fingers left her satisfied her mind continued to run, run to places where she could wear dresses like that, where she found a rich woman who would love and care for her and buy her anything she could ever want, who would help her parents when she was comfortable enough to tell them who she really was, a girlfriend, a partner, one day a wife and mother of two beautiful biracial children a big dog, they would eat only the best foods with only the best jobs in only the best penthouse condo in the city -Sera had the dress and god dammit did her hot breath ever feel frightfully good rolling over the sensitive skin of her ear and neck. If you allow me to play until my heart is content, I in turn will ensure you are satisfied beyond belief. the pitch maybe could have ended there with how she was practically gagging for it, how each the most precarious places of her body were throbbing, how sweat marched up the small of her back and nape, the beds of her knees and elbows, her palms, how the tiny blonde hairs on her forearm stood at attention, how her mouth filled with saliva only to be swallowed hard. Anonymous sex with the most beautiful woman in their school not to mention one of the most rich and powerful as far as anyone could guess, Tamera had to guess it was anonymous, she wasnt so nave to think it was anything but sex she was proposing and she was well versed enough in black-mail and coercion to know she had nothing over her if this was public, she would already be ruined at that point so why listen to anything Sera had to say? the promise of clothing and other luxuries was practically icing on an already furiously enticing delicatessen. She couldnt pretend she wasnt that sort of girl, no, she was, she was much like a prostitute the St. Marriotts picking order her pimp. She gave up little pieces of herself, her self-worth, her morals and her upbringing every day for the cheap compensation of a pat on the back from the cool kids. She did things she never could have seen herself doing for that treat of approval and fellowship did things she said shed never do, would never do under any other circumstance was taking something she wanted for giving something she wanted to give really so hard to swallow? No, this offer wasnt hard to swallow at all in fact, it was almost such a blessing Tamera would later question everything about the fibre of her character. She didnt hesitate, she didnt question it, she didnt consider her part in it or the existential and moral dilemmas that should or could come of selling your affections for some nice clothes and company she dove. Tameras game had never been playing stupid, she played smart, calculated and privileged and this certainly was nothing short of a privilege. Sera wasnt her pimp, it felt more like she was on a drug and Sera was her dealer shed never know how accurate that was in this moment. A long placid moment dragged on, Tamera still staring down at her fists now not just balled in her lap but fitfully crinkling the hem of her skirt and bunching it together between them. So, what do you think beautiful? snapped her to reality, a rather surreal one. While generally, outside of these four walls, off these grounds, back in her home town Tameras passive expression was a small humble smile, here shed trained herself to such a pedigree that her expression met Seras with the same danger, her eyes narrow and her lips pursed. Her hand found her breast pocket and from it she coolly pulled a hair elastic, taming her meticulously styled hair into a bunch and tying it behind her head. Obsessively, she looked forward like there were a mirror before her, she splayed her fingers in the bun so her spindled curls bounced back to life behind her head, two pulled out to frame her face, she licked her lips and smoothed her eyebrows then the wrinkles in her skirt like she was prepping herself in the bathroom between classes then just like Sera had so many times in this short sitting, blindingly fast, she changed. Tamera reared back slightly away from Sera before lunging forward. One hand found Seras shoulder the other the side of her face as their lips crashed together, Tamera doing what she could, with what strength she had, asserting herself atop the woman. Hnnngfff! if that didnt convey just what she thought of the proposal nothing would.