Thread: [KylarStern & Tortoise] Dancing With Myself;;

The night was slow, every minute lasting an eternity. Following a glass of red wine ?? she generally took one every few days. In certain ways, she was a health freak. Eight hours of sleep per night, balanced diet, all of those things that seemed to take a lot of effort for most came naturally to her. That night, however, she had a hard time resisting the chocolate bar in her fridge. Her phone was silent if it hadn??t been for James?? calls. She didn??t reply to a single one of them, refusing to speak to him. That day changed her world, and she was worried that she would make an irreversible mistake. He annoyed her, he had been since the accident, yet that day a snowball turned into a large sphere, rolling down the hill. Everything steadily piled up and she was the type of person who did things and regretted them later ?? on the personal front at least. Annoyed with everything, she turned on the television and watched Cinderella, a cartoon she landed upon accidentally. As usual, she ended up in tears by the end. There was something about the cartoon that struck her. All of the fairytales ended with marriage. There was no previous passion, no pursuit, merely happiness. It was then that she realized the true reason she divorced him. She was afraid of happiness. It terrified her, made her feel like she would lose it so she left it willingly, expecting that it would make things easier. She didn??t want to wake up one morning and realize that their passion was gone and merely the quiet happiness remained. The prospect of living with the same man who would eventually lose interest in her because she was so readily available, the prospect of losing the fire in her life ?? it was hell. She preferred great suffering to indifference, her source of life being emotions. What in the world was she going to do with that knowledge was the main question to her at that point. Was it appropriate to tell him what she realized or was it a piece of information to keep to herself? She nipped on her thumb, trying to figure things out. With Nathan, she felt like she belonged, like he could understand her without speaking, like she could tell him anything at all. Hiding things was most likely a mistake, yet how would she put it? Before the night ended, she too was wearing the ring he gave her. She never had the heart to get rid of him, for it would mean that things truly were over. She kept it in a hidden compartment of a desk. The hiding places were another small obsession of hers. On book shelves stood empty books, in furniture were hidden spots and so forth. She hid their pictures, articles from her past and family heirlooms. At times, she forgot what was where, yet when she managed to find anything it was a little heaven for her. As the clock reached ten o??clock, she was getting ready for sleep, her eyes remaining puffy and her voice still sounding as though she has spent the night crying. Pulling on her pajamas, she crawled onto the bed, her dog resting under her head as a pillow. ??Pogo?You know, I love you,? she nudged the dog with a smile, receiving a comforting howl. She laughed softly, kissing the dog??s nose. ??You evil little creature?let me have my pillow back?? She nudged the dog again yet the latter refused, prolonging her time awake by a good ten minutes. When they finally settled, she shut her eyes, ready to drift away, having lost all hopes of Nathan calling her when suddenly the phone rang, causing her heart to leap a mile an hour. She picked up the phone with a shaky hand only to see an unknown number. Her heart beating wildly, she pressed the on button. ??Hello?? She murmured, her voice sweet and delicate, filled with hope despite her attempts to hide it.