Thread: Why'd I Ever Leave? [Lagertha x LeftShield]

Connor didn't turn to look at her as she left. Just took another sip of his beer and shook his head lightly. He didn't really care bout the drinking, he didn't care about the drugs as long as she wasn't shooting up heroin. The sex idea got under his skin for some reason. She may have been a 'virgin' in the medical stance but he couldn't help but picture his very strong sister being taken advantage of. Getting too fried and waking up in a warehouse, naked, abused, and alone. While deep down he did want to make sure she was physically safe in the most basic terms but he'd be lying to himself saying that was the only reason he wanted to go to the party. He wanted to feel that excitement he did back in high school. He was the king of his click, skated where ever they felt like, did what they felt like. Now here he was with a slightly wounded leg and none of his 'friends' were even in town anymore. He wanted to go have a few drinks, maybe get a little high, see if that old buzz could come back to him. Maybe he'd feel happy again. He turned and saw she was gone, the picture of her eating out the two girls upstairs played in his mind. He shook it off and grabbed the orange juice carton, putting it back in the fridge. Yeah Viktoria, you're so edgy, you and your orange juice. He said with a smile, he turned and hiked up the stairs, walking past Viktoria's room and into his. His room, or what he liked to call it, his tomb. It looked like a showcase, the bed was made, nothing on the floors, a flag folded on top of his dresser. He hated it and yet he made it that way every single day. Maybe it was the army in him that made him make his room looked like it wasn't lived in. Every time he came inside he only saw how much he'd changed and he hated it. He saw that he was boring now, that it ment he had no personality anymore. The only thing in the room that showed some personality was the flag and it just reminded him how he was a ex soldier now. He walked to his dresser and started to pull out some clothes. A forest green t-shirt, army logo in the top right. In his pants drawer was the choice of slacks or blue jeans. He grabbed some darker jeans, as he did though he grazed his finger up against it. The cold steel, it threatened to bring a flash back to his head but he focused. Under his jeans was a Beretta M9 pistol, he had to call in a favor to get it without a license but he needed it. He didn't know why, it wasn't like he had enemies, he wasn't at war. Maybe it was for protecting himself, maybe it was a last option, he just knew he needed it. Pulling on his clothes he headed back downstairs. He didn't hear moaning when he passed her room which honestly put him at ease if only slightly. Sitting on the couch he winced as his right leg hit the couch. It had stung only briefly but it was strong. Connor shook it off, it was most likely a after shock of pain. He was told it was common in soldiers, a sort of physical PTSD. He looked over next to the TV and saw his old skate board. He'd seen it many times since he had gotten home but was always afraid to ride it. If he couldn't because of his leg then that would mean the army was right and he was useless. He leaned forward and grabbed his head in both hands. This what was happening, every little thing that happened in this big quiet house was driving him closer and closer to putting that gun in his mouth. Every moment he sat down he was reminded how useless he thought he was. It wasn't up to Viktoria anymore, he needed this party. He was going to drive them. He stood when he heard the thump of their heels on the stairs as they started to come down. Connor jogged over and snatched the keys to the SUV before she could get to them. I'm driving. He told her, making it clear it wasn't a choice anymore. Bitch all you want but if you crash then I'm gonna have to explain to mom and dad why the car's totaled. It was fucked up but it was obvious how their parents cared for her. They hadn't tried and neither did she, she was practically a local resident to them till she turned eighteen. They both knew their family was fucked up, it wasn't worth diving in. Unless you ladies feel like walking both ways lets go. He said as he started toward the door. He needed tonight, he needed to be reminded that he could still be happy. He hoped he could still be happy.