Thread: Sexual Star, Amateur at Love (Javorcek X ClearSight)

As Alex went to the kitchen, her usual shield up when faced with a situation she didn't like, Elle was left on the couch, feeling like a fool and hopeless. It seemed like some cosmic joke to the woman. She had finally found someone who didn't seem to care about her odd personality, nor how much they had to take care of her with all the bad habits she had formed living alone. Alex even truly wanted a life with her, a house and a family, to get married... It was a dream and Elle had cried with happiness more than anger or sorrow in their time together. Sure they had their disagreements, but Alex was the first person who had ever made Elle feel as loved and cared for as she did. So she was willing to do anything to keep her, but it seemed just this once she had been the one to royally fuck the entire relationship. Usually she was the one being tossed aside or toyed with. She would get a girlfriend who didn't take them seriously and slept around, or who had only wanted to add the notch of a pornstar to their belt. She had dated losers and people who thought they were better than her because of her line of work. People who had thought she would be stupid and easy but disappointed to find out that was not true. Alex had been none of those, and knowing that this time she had been the one to ruin it was crushing her inside. She didn't even feel like crying but instead curling up in a ball and falling in to a depression. She didn't want to go back to the empty apartment, to the absolute loneliness that Alex had saved her from. When she moved and got in to porn she had expected a fun life, one where she spent most of her time with friends or at parties, that had no been the life she had found. Perhaps she hadn't been meant for the business, hell she wasn't a big party person to begin with. Elle preferred a night in on the sofa with a movie or playing some games, even reading, but doing it alone was no fun. The days of frozen dinners and fast food had gone with Alex, and while she would still sneak a fatty burger on occasion she didn't miss those days. Nothing in her life had been better before Alex, different sure but it had all changed for the best with the woman currently considering breaking it all off with her. Elle was holding her head in her hands, fingers pushed up in her hair and legs tucked in to her chest up on the couch, which Alex would have chastised her about if she had noticed, shoes on the furniture a big no-no for her. Still, in that moment Elle didn't care, she couldn't even find amusement in a realization such as that and only took long deep breaths as she tried to calm herself. It wasn't working out so well and for some reason all the stress she was putting on herself was making her body throb and her arm was hurting for no reason other than Elle's inability to focus on something else, because she didn't want to think about the other things happening or the possibilities for her and Alex. Then Alex said the unexpected, and Elle almost yelled when she said that she couldn't quit her job. It seemed unreasonable that she be hated for it but unable to quit it. However, if she had thought about it for even a moment she would realize she had been unreasonable as well, to act like quitting it cancelled out a lie or that working minimum wage would allow them to have a life together. Elle had no talents or job experience aside from her role in the pornography industry, and that didn't look good on a resume for a serious job. She would be lucky to work somewhere at minimum wage and it would take time to get a job. She was glad she hadn't opened her mouth when Alex continued though and her looked up, head on top of her knees as Alex said she wanted to start over, and while positive thinking had been substantially beat down she couldn't help but smile gently. She didn't respond right away though, she was processing things and knew it was a guarantee, Alex was just giving them a chance, and that was all Elle had been begging for. Yeah. I'll tell you everything... She still sounded down but with a smile her voice livened up a bit, wanting to make it a real first date and let Alex know who she really was, and hopefully after that she would see all of their time together and realize she had been with the real Elle all along. So she reached out and brushed Alex's cheek, smiling at her, Hey Alex, I know it's our first date and everything, so how about something more than a little salad hmm? I'm pretty hungry. She giggled, a sound that hadn't come out of her in some time, and she poked Alex in the nose, her feet coming off the couch and her back leaning against the soft cushion once again. She hadn't quickly recovered but if Alex wanted a first date she was going to give it to her and be that bubbly, happy, clumsy dork Alex had fallen in love with, she would be herself and not the depressed woman she had let take over since before the accident.