Thread: Break The Cycle [BAB+Soubi]

Seunghyun didnt make the connection, he didnt see how jiyong was willing for a fair trade, or how much Jiyong's trust might be damaged if he didn't just compromise a little. He needed to know what had gone on between the pet and his own bonded, what secret it was that he wasn't willing to divulge. Seunghyun felt they'd gotten along fine all this time without telling his own secrets, so why start now? Normally Seunghyun wouldn't press for answers, but now was different, now a sliver of doubt in him was growing. Jiyong's decision to not tell just upped the importance of the need to know in Seunghyun's mind, because people didn't keep secrets about things that they wouldn't mind sharing. He was sure that something inside of him would break if he knew that Jiyong had at all tempted the other male, made a pass at the pet. As bad as it was to possibly find out that his partner had been looking towards another, it was still so much worse NOT knowing and being Jiyongs toy, being strung along and played for the hell of it. Jiyong was fine without knowing about Seungri, because Seunghyun was sure he was better off without recalling his past. Theyd both be better off, their bond would surely be healthier. He didnt want Jiyong to know hed killed someone. Oh, the psychiatrist had told him otherwise, and he also tried to rationalize and contort all his anger towards the women, but even he knew that a small voice in his mind could never be completely silenced from its dark, vile whispers. Monster. Callous freak. Bully. Murderer. Why did Jiyong want to do this to him? Make him remember those painful things, make him hurt from the inside where he couldnt be healed? Seunghyun was fine, hed buried those things, though he hadnt forgotten them, hed moved on in life. He loved Jiyong, but simply loving someone was not enough to make the hurt go away, he didnt think it ever would, or should. Taking the pain away was like actually admitting to those frightening whispers of his thoughts, of admitting he wasnt human, that he didnt feel anything. Taking the pain and hurt and anger away left too much room for rationality and sensibility to creep in, too much time for him to think about the cold truth that Seungri had never actually loved him. It was so blatantly obvious though. Seungri had trusted him, had wanted a friend . Seunghyun knew he was different, the way he saw the other men wasn't how most did. It was why he was able to complete his job as a trainer so well without involving himself on any personal level, because all of them were merely in it for the sex, thus making that distinction was easy. For Seunghyun though, it had never been about the sex. Sex was a given. It was so superfluous and redundant in his life that it held nothing to be desired. Seunghyun had wanted something more. He had wanted something strong and binding, to feel safe with someone. But after everything that hed been through, all the shit that told him there was no trusting anyone, he'd let his surroundings and upbringing win out over his secret little wish. This was where Jiyong confused him so, because the way Jiyong looked at him, it was different. It was strong and unashamed and full of something , something deep, open, and wanting. It made Seunghyuns heart clench and flutter all at once, like being touched with ice and licked with flame simultaneously. It was like the mixture pleasure and pain hed been so masterful at delivering. He didn't know if he liked the affection in their bond or hated it. Unfortunately, even if Seunghyun might want Jiyong's feelings, he couldn't necessarily trust him to stay true in the face of temptation. They were all conditioned for sex to rule every fiber of their being, Seunghyun knew this all too well after training so manly beautiful but mindless bodies controlled by their dicks. As futile as it might be, Seunghyun felt the need to fight the way they'd been taught, to rearrange the priorities in his bonded, making himself the absolute. He'd held off so far because there hadn't been a time in which Jiyong might have had to choose between him and his body's desires. But now he couldn't, not when his trust was so easily disturbed as things became too uncertain, when doubts and questions came forward, when others like that pet intervened, when Jiyong wanted to know things that Seunghyun did not have the courage to tell him. Jiyong wasnt supposed to pry, not now, not yet . This was all supposed to come later. His bonded wasnt supposed to be like the insistent women who had interrogated him until hed cracked. Now Jiyong was saying things and acting in ways that touched on those moments of weakness Seunghyun didn't want to be reminded of. When he remembered those times an uncomfortable almost nauseated feeling churned in his stomach, it made his skin feel cold. It made him feel like he wasn't going to be able to hold it together. He felt lost and confused and anxious with Jiyong standing up to him, holding his own secrets back in refusal. Seunghyun's stomach threatened to turn in on itself when he thought that there might be a side to the other male he knew nothing about. How well did he really know this man? This man he'd been living with for the last three years? What else was he hiding? The former trainer felt like he was going to be sick, and he was sure that he paled a bit, but he refused to acknowledge it. He instead focused on the anger, it was always easier that way. Anger was the emotion that didn't let him become weak, it made him seem stronger to others, made him feel stronger to himself. Seunghyun focused on that anger he had for the man he loved who just might not feel as strongly for him. Fine. He could deal with that, Jiyong didn't need to return all of those feelings. The only thing Jiyong needed to know was that he belonged to Seunghyun, and that ownership would only be relinquished when the owner desired it. Once he'd reminded himself of this, all those other useless emotions shied away to make way for the anger, which instantly took over like a tidal wave drowning out anything else. The urge to strike out and hurt the man under him sang out in his limbs, the desire for it tingling madly in his fingers, his hands felt hot and itched for the pain they wanted to inflict. An internal battle waged in his core, trying to determine if he'd like the repercussions of his actions. The side that said no, the one of rationality lost out. Jiyong said he wanted know know what he had done, what he had been like before. Well, hed just show him then. Seunghyun listened silently to all that Jiyong had to say to him, each word falling like one more brick to the foundation of bitterness. Jiyong was demanding too much from the him right now, and Seunghyun would be a fool to let such words be left unaddressed. Establishing himself as their leader had been easy enough, but clearly Jiyong needed some kind of reminder to put him in his place. That way he wouldn't be tempted into such stupid behavior. Seunghyun gave it to him, first shutting up any more demands that he didn't want to hear birthed from the mouth that had kissed him so passionately just a few nights ago. The harsh pitched slap of skin interrupted any more of Jiyong's voice. Seunghyun put his raised hand back down, the skin of his palm slightly reddened, but nothing like the quick flush of blood that came to Jiyong's skin where his face had been struck. Seunghyun gripped the mussed bedsheets on either side of his bonded tightly, trying to hide the tremble in his limbs, because it wasn't a tremor of fear. How, how could it have felt so good? He had expected it to be more difficult to do, he had expected himself to resist the urge a little more, expected himself to feel some remorse. But when Jiyong looked back at him with stark, thoughtless shock, that unwavering defiance momentarily gone, Seunghyun felt stronger. There was a strange, almost addictive quality to not knowing how Jiyong would react to him like this. Knowing that marking his bonded wasn't allowed, it gave him an adrenaline rush like that of an extreme sport junkie. It was thrilling to the former trainer in a way he had forgotten. No, it was better than he remembered. What the hell is wrong with me? He thought one thing, but did another, already feeling almost high off the power. Leaning over Jiyong, he brought his hand back to the place he'd struck, and rested it lightly against the side of his bonded's face in a gentle caress. Jiyong really did have a good face, nice skin. His fingers ran down, past cheek and jaw to the curve of the neck. His neck was slender too, elegant, it would have looked good to see a collar there. Seunghyun's eyes remained on that neckline, staring as though he could already see the collar as he spoke. No. I suppose you're right. You're not my pet. But you are mine. He chose that moment to flick his eyes back upwards, boring into the other idol's dark irises. Or did you forget, that you were the one who wanted me? You're not going to back out now that you got what you wanted, are you? The defiance was coming back to Jiyong quickly, Seunghyun could see it in the others face, but he didnt want to deal with it. He couldnt, not right now. He wouldnt be able to handle any more of Jiyongs intrusiveness, good intention it may be. Seunghyun found it easier closing Jiyong out like this, because if he was rejected, all he would have inside was anger, and he could blame it on Jiyong for not seeing through his facade. Telling things about himself left openings for Jiyong to dislike parts of Seunghyun he himself was hurt by, hed never last if that happened. So he belittled Jiyong, overriding any words the other might want to say. He looked rolled his eyes and scoffed at the beginnings of something that sounded like attachment, words that eluded to safety and acceptance, because he couldnt believe them right now from lips that might have touched that pets. Its not like I care if you try to back out. Liar. You do care. Refusal to believe him and demands for the truth came from Jiyong. His body spoke of it, his eyes screamed it, and his lips moved with it. Seunghyun didnt bite though, he ignored the resistance to the wall he was building, redoubling his efforts. His hands moved like striking rattlesnakes, fast and hard, gripping tightly on Jiyongs upper arms as he leaned in close. The bed creaked lightly under their full combined weight as he leaned over his bonded, to where their noses nearly touched, where he could see the different flecks of color in Jiyongs deep brown eyes. I dont care Jiyong. Because I won't let you . He smirked slightly then, a knowing, superior, dark expression. Wanna see what trying it gets you though? With his lips turned in a small sadistic smile, he brought his mouth closer to his bondeds. He stopped when their breaths mingled, where lips were a ghosts movement away from one another. He seemed to be trying to take the breath that the other was trying to inhale, and breathed in Jiyongs exhales, as though attempting to find hints of the pet. He stayed like that, as though he were trying to lure Jiyong into a state of hypnosis, eyes looking straight into the opposing pair, breathing into one another until the timing of their breaths matched. His hands had left Jiyongs arms though, so slowly in uncurling his tight fingers that it might have gone unnoticed. Seunghyun had to restrain himself from licking his own lips in a diversion from the greater desire to kiss Jiyong until they both forgot everything. He let his breath coat the other as his body hovered but mere centimeters above Jiyong's, plenty close enough for their body heat to radiate off one another. Dark smirk still in place, Seunghyun decided Jiyong had had enough time in his own mind, he didn't have all day, and his body was already strung so tightly it was a miracle he didn't snap his spine holding himself back. Your answer? Hanul didn't even try to maintain a little modesty or politeness for his master, who had technically released him. As he sat back against the bed and watched Kyu get to work on his silly, rather useless wall of pillows, Hanul mulled over the question that had been running around in his head without an answer for too long now. Why had Kyu let him go? Sure, Hanul could pick out a few answers. He had been a right asshole to Kyu for some time now, what with the fucking his master and all, but, that had been what he'd thought was best at the time. Contrary to what everyone seemed to think of him, Hanul was actually capable of coherent thoughts, and well formed ones which extended beyond bodily desires at that. It was just, when he started thinking he'd often become depressed, because there was no getting around the fact that he was still here . He was still in this paradise facade, still collared and expected to perform sex for cameras. And then of course, he was still stuck with Kyu. He didn't let it show any other time after he'd thoughtlessly let himself go and told Kyu more than he'd meant. Keeping his own sanity when faced with Kyu at that time though had been rather impossible. You couldn't reason with crazy unless you yourself were nuts, and something about the way Kyu had been had tugged at scarier parts of Hanul he hadn't really known were there. He'd meant every word he'd said, at that time, after pinning Kyu down in the kitchen, he couldn't have lied even if he'd tried. Everything was too raw for him, to the point where he'd meant it when he'd handed Kyu the knife to kill him. If he let his mind dwell on it, having Kyu around him like this now, after all that insane shit, it was more than just a little awkward. They'd seen sides of each other that they hadn't known were there, and things like that just didn't happen in the porn idol world. You weren't deep or full of emotions or intelligent brain matter. You were just some female's fantasy entertainment fodder, something pretty and unusual to gawk at. Growing up, Hanul didn't have revealing moments like this with anyone, not even with his fellow pets whom he had considered friends of a sort. It was weird to say the least, to know that this small guy had dragged such complex and disturbing feelings out of him, and that they were going to be stuck together, probably until one of them snapped again. Kyu was still busily constructing his down fortress, and Hanul didn't try to stop his eyes from moving over the other's frame. Kyu, Hanul had learned, was rather. . . fragile. He didn't think of it in the physical sense so much, as somehow Kyu had managed to take a fair beating and still muster up courage enough to act the way he was now. It was more like. . . more like Hanul was seeing Kyu as something besides a master for the first time. A master was confident, strong, unrelenting, but fair and honest well, they were supposed to be, according to the lessons. A master had uncontested control, and couldn't be swayed by their pet. As far as Hanul had been taught, masters didn't possess emotions other than pride, anger, content, and disappointment. So, did Kyu let Hanul go out of disappointment for having such a rebellious and terrible pet? Somehow, he didn't think so. Watching Kyu avert his eyes, the way Kyu took particular care not to touch Hanul with either his hands or the pillows, it almost looked like he was forcing himself. His movements were unnatural, lacking fluidity, which was all the more stark because sometimes Hanul swore that Kyu moved in ways that were almost majestic in their gracefulness. Those moments had been rare, and Hanul had only observed them in the past when Kyu thought he was alone, or not being paid attention to. There was one particular instance he recalled then. It had been when he had gotten some virus, called influheza - or something like that - after attending a meet and greet fan session. Females had poked and prodded him, hugged him, groped him, and taken pictures with him for an entire day. Kyu had endured similar treatment, but for some reason hadn't gotten ill. Hanul had spent an entire day in bed after that, with a headache like fire and skin like ice. He couldn't remember much except for Kyu's gentle hands and warm voice, so he'd accepted it when Kyu had told him he'd been seeing things when he wandered into the kitchen still feverish. Really, watching the concentrating Kyu jump down from the counter in fright after Hanul had coughed in the silent kitchen, twisting mid air and landing on all fours had seemed like a hallucination at the time. Even his hair had been kind of fluffed up like a cat, Hanul thought he had to have been dreaming, especially after that filming with animal costume roleplay they'd done not long before. Hanul didn't think so now though, not after he'd been fully scratched on the face by a green-eyed porn idol with fangs . He ran his fingers experimentally over the cuts, only a small bit of drying blood coating his fingers as he pulled them away from the fine scratches. Then he remembered the time he'd woken up with little nail pricks and scratches all over his thighs and backside, with a nearly apologetic master tending to the tiny serrations. What Jiyong had said had to be true, after all, those two were from the same lab, shared DNA and all. Kyu's voice flooded his ears, quickly drawing Hanul out of his transfixtion on the other male's body while his mind had wandered freely. Before Kyu continued he disappeared behind the soft blockade, leaving Hanul only a voice and the sounds of him shuffling the sheets around as Kyu settled himself in for the night. He stared blankly at the pillows blocking his bonded from sight as he listened quietly. Hanul couldnt say he agreed with everything that Kyu said, though he wasnt about to claim that he did want to be bonded to Kyu. The only problem was, he didnt really want to be bonded to anyone , sort of impossible when you were a porn idol. Being bonded made things difficult, it made Hanul feel a pang of hurt every time Kyu said they should just go their separate ways. The damn bond made him want to stay close, because Kyu was right, they were too insurmountably different from one another to be compatible if not for their conditioned association with one another, reinforced with drugs and who knew what else. But his bond didnt hear all those rationalities and reasonings, no matter how much sense they made, because his bond made him so emotional and just stupid . All the mess hed gotten himself into had been because of the fucking bond that made a place in his chest stir for the thought of Kyus happy smile or kind words. Hanul grimaced at himself for all the idiotic wants he felt, and growled quietly when they didnt silence themselves to his distaste for them. His proximity to Kyu certainly didnt help in getting rid of the ridiculous bubbly sensation in his gut, but it wasnt like he was going to be the one to relinquish the bed here. His bed was probably already the site of some primal hard ass fucking, considering the pungent pheromones that had been radiating off long haired kitty guy. Really, if Kyu had been hiding something like that from him all this time. . . Hanul grit his teeth a bit at the thought. The little manipulative shit. Fuck all those thoughts about Kyu being fragile. Hanul felt wronged after hed been the only one teased into tears on more than a few occasions. The pet decided with a smirk to himself that Kyu was more than overdue for a little payback. Using his arms to help himself into a sitting position thanks to the lovely pulsing pain in his abdomen, Hanul perched his arms on top of the fluffy barricade. His weight made it sink down slightly as he rested his head on his hands and leaned into the pillows and comforters. A small, but not exactly friendly, smile was on his lips as he peered over at Kyu, who was quite obviously still awake and blatantly ignoring Hanul. You know, its not like we shouldnt even talk to each other. I mean, Ive been fucking bored as hell the last week, and dont tell me that your fingerpainting or whatever the heck it is youre doing in here alone is really that awesome either. Besides, I have things Id like to know about you now that youve freed me and all. He waited for Kyu to acknowledge that hed heard, maybe turn over to send a glare his way, maybe give him the bird or some other signal telling the pet to fuck off. Unfortunately, he got nothing of the sort, just more faked sleep. How utterly boring . Not having gotten a reaction, Hanul pressed further. He picked at one of the blankets on the wall as he spoke. That lab mate of yours told me some things you know, some pretty interesting things about you. Hanuls lips finally curved into that newfound dangerous smirk of his, because he could tell that Kyus body had just gone tense. He could see it in the others shoulders. Now he was getting somewhere. He continued in a nonchalant tone, though he was avidly waiting for a reaction. Ive always sorta thought you were a bit animal like. I used to kinda think it was cute, your little strange habits now and then. But now I think Ive finally picked out which animal youre like, now I just wanna know if you can meow like your labmate. Hanul was really starting to get into it now. He could tell Kyu was just another word away from snapping, which was exactly what the pet was trying to accomplish. Jiyong had snapped and turned into that thing , that thing that had smelled like absolute wildness. He only figured the same would happen with Kyu. Nearly grinning from ear to ear, Hanul reached over the divide between them, extending his arm to the blankets around Kyu. Should I check for a tail? I didnt ever see one before, but it seems like you guys can hide those things. . . He started to pull up the sheets that Kyu had tucked around himself. He dipped his head as he peeked under to Kyus backside as he started to pull them off, but wasnt allowed much beyond a shadowy glimpse before the sheets were quickly slapped back down and his arm was just barely saved from Kyus defensive attack. Hanuls eyes came up then, not even a hint of surprise there when he found Kyu glaring hot death at him. His bonded was seething, it was quite clear that his teasing had done its job. Hanul smiled right back at that face of threatening rage, knowing the dangers but finding it thrilling rather than fearful. Hm, and I thought youd fallen asleep. You really that touchy about your tail? Dont you think I deserve to see it a bit after putting up with you all this time? Hanul sprang then, much like a hulking feline himself, only with less grace as he barreled through the pillow wall between them. He was unconsciously careful though to not land on top of Kyu, and without realizing it took stock of where the injured nose was, being sure to not seriously hurt the smaller male. He didnt think about it because it was an instinctual thing to him to be careful with his weight around Kyu, though, he wasnt exactly gentle as he fought for a hold of the slighter frame that was trying to retreat. Bed sheets were tossed and pillows were kicked in the tussle. The pet wrestled in good spirits with his bonded, confidently knowing he'd win out easily enough. Though his conceit afforded Hanul got an elbow to the neck before he had Kyu pinned on his back, smushed down between soft pillows. He was hardly breathing more than usual, just a very slight pant showed any signs of physical activity as he spoke. Come on, don't you wanna do that changy thing too? He smirked happily at Kyu's telltale expression. You've have the worst poker face, so don't try to hide it. Besides, its not like I have anyone to tell about it, being a pet and all. Hanul shifted slightly to shimmy his body down against Kyu's lightly, teasingly with just a bit of his weight and bodily warmth. You know you don't stand a chance fighting me like this, your labmate certainly got stronger after. And sexier . If you don't take this seriously I just might be inclined to fuck you like before, I could use a little stress relief. He trailed a finger over the shirt down Kyu's sternum, eyes watching with something like predatory mirth. I bet you could use some destressing too.