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t3_3v1rdh | relationships | I [19f] need advice on how to end my abusive relationship with [26M] | Edit: Emotionally abusive, not physically. Forgot to point that out. Not that either is better than the other, but he does not bruise me.
I have come to the realization that I am in an abusive relationship with a man I've been with for 8 months now. We will call him B.
I was surfing the internet this morning and came across an article that listed the top 10 signs of abuse. Reading them, it hit me that yes, I really am in an abusive relationship.
My problem. Him and I have been together for 8 months. We moved into an apartment together after three months. We have moved way too fast for my comfort, and I'm realizing this now. We met a week after my ex left me, and he told me he loved me like, 3 days after we became "official". I broke up with him and told him things were going too fast, but we talked and agreed we could take it slower and that never happened. Anyway, we live together. He does not have any friends or close family, and he always makes me reassure him that I do love him. I'm sorry if this is jumbled, I'm in a tough spot and it's hard to put this all together. I don't know how to break it to him. He is mean to me, does not respect any women in his life, he has to know exact times of where I will be and when I'll be home, and he hates my friends and family, though he has never met my friends.
I just need help. Who do I talk to to start the process? Where do I go? What if he threatens to hurt himself or me? Please help me. | I need advice on how to leave my abusive relationship. We live together and I've never been in this situation. Any questions and advice are appreciated! |
t3_4m4i4v | relationships | How soon is too soon to talk to an Ex? | My (22f) now Ex SO (25m) of 5 years and I broke up roughly a month ago. The last year of the relationship we became a long distance couple.
The breakup, for numerous reasons, was mutual and I knew it had been coming for a while, which is why I guess I feel like I'm over the worst of the heartbreak.
I miss him though, we used to talk everyday and he's my best friend. We agreed to stay in contact and see how things go after spending time apart after the initial break up.
Is it too soon for me to contact him? I don't know if I would want to do a phone call or Skype in case I'm not as ready as I think I am, but maybe just an email to see how he's getting on? If not, how long should I leave it? This is the longest we've gone without speaking since I've known him, I'd hate for it to feel ridiculously awkward several months of no contact. I don't want to lose him as a friend. | mutual breakup roughly 1 month ago after being together for 5 years. We agreed to stay in touch after time apart, is it too soon for me to say hello? |
t3_2jb6py | relationships | Issues with my [23/F] boyfriend [25/M] of three years. | I have been with my boyfriend for three years, but gaps between us have been widening. For instance, I have a Masters degree and I now work as a lawyer, while he is still in college at 25 years old (this is his 8th year in college, he did not get in late). This is his last year.
He is financially dependent of his parents, and has a very childish mindset when it comes to responsibilities. He doesn't have a lot of courses this year, so he spends his time playing video games. He has been trying to quit smoking weed for as long as I've known him; he sometimes quits for a few months, then gets back to it. He is also always broke, because he spends very irresponsibly.
Emotionally, he is very raw. He either adores me, is completely indifferent, or can become verbally abusive when we fight.
We have always had a strong relationship, we completely trust each other and have good sexual chemistry. But all of the above stresses me a great deal and I'm starting to feel like it isn't worth it anymore. | Can people in different phases in life be together? |
t3_1p3p6o | running | Pain in arches of feet. | I am part of a basketball team. We recently started running around one a week on a track. I am not the best runner (avg. 7:30 minute mile) so I researched running tips and strategies. I read that staying on the balls/toes of your feet and not letting your heels is a good thing to do. I am not sure, because of a pain in both the arches of my feet. It sort of feels like there is a rubber band going through my foot and it's very tight, leading me to believe it's about a tendon, but I'm not expert. | I started to run without letting my heels touch the track, now there is a pain in the middle of my feet, in the arches. |
t3_43ht1n | relationships | Me [19 M] went on a date with [18 F] I've known for a while, absolutely no idea where we stand. | Alright, so I've known this girl for a while, and last summer we went on several dates, but I'm terrible at detecting any sort of sexual tension or making physical contact, (I kissed her on the cheek once) and anyway, we didn't have any communication until about two weeks ago, when we started talking a lot over text.
Fast forward to today, we went to see Star Wars, then I asked after if she wanted to go get some food, and after kind of a long pause, said she needed to go home due to some family stuff. (It was more specific than that, and I know she wasn't bullshitting, it just seemed very awkward.)
Anyway, we laughed and listened to music on the way home, and I asked her if she wanted to do anything again soon. She said "yeah," and said she had fun seeing the movie, then left.
I texted her good night, told her I had a great time and such, to which she responded "Good night, I had a lot of fun too."
So I guess I'm asking, is all this alright? Am I neck deep in the friend zone or is there any "chemistry" or whatever? | Awkward abrupt end to a date, is everything cool? |
t3_12g8jd | relationships | My ex[22f] contacts me[24m] randomly out of the blue while I was at work one day, why? | Back story: Dated for three years.. ended horribly and have been broken up for a little over 9 months now without any other contact, she currently has a bf. Rather not go too much further into detail.
It wasn't really anything big, just a "How are things with you, hope all is well." type message. My first instinct was to ignore it, but I think that's just plain rude so I kept it short and told her I was doing great and had a lot of things going my way as of late. We exchanged a couple messages back and forth and ended with her giving me her new number in which I exchanged mine back.
My real question is, after all these months of no contact why is she now reaching out to say "Hello"? It kind of threw me through a loop and I've been struggling to come to terms with it. I can safely say my head is on straight and although I do miss her somewhat, I'm not sure if getting back into contact with her is the best thing to do for me at the moment. She had insecurity issues, was constantly worried about me cheating on her and we got into the typical long-term relationship arguments over petty things.
I've done quite well for myself since the break-up and got a great job, a lot of extra income and great family/friends around me at all times but since she made contact I just can't seem to stop asking myself why? What is your insight on this fellow redditor's? | Ex of 3 years contacts me out of the blue after 9 months of almost no contact, why? |
t3_2isfhs | relationships | My (30f) pregnant best friend (31f) of 14 years doesn't want me to nanny anymore. Is there anything I can do? | I'm going to crosspost this to a few places because I don't know what to do.
My friend is 40 weeks pregnant and about to deliver. She is an attorney and plans on continuing to work to support her son. She hired me to nanny at their house 5 days a week 9-5. I was really looking forward to doing this! I can't have kids and really want the best for hers. She was my best friend for 14 years. It meant a lot to me that she asked. She was also going to pay me really well. I was practically homeless for awhile after getting let go from my job and I'm still getting back on my feet.
Anyway, yesterday I went to the salon and got my hair colored/cut as a gift from a lady at my church. I never went to a salon before and she wanted to treat me. Afterwards, I went to see my friend to help her prep for the baby. We're still working on the nursery. As soon as she saw me, she freaked out. Saying that I smell and hair dye cannot be around her newborn. She doesn't want me to nanny anymore. I immediately started crying and apologizing. I do smell like hair dye, but I assumed that it goes away after a few washes? Am I wrong? I told her to please give it a few days and if it doesn't go away then I understand. She called me selfish and I left.
If anyone could give me some insight, that would be appreciated. I know pregnancy is stressful. I don't know what to do or say. I don't even know.
I tried googling her concerns and could only find information on dying your hair next to your newborn. Not the smell afterwards that it leaves.
Is there anything I can say other than apologize? | friend doesn't want me to nanny her son because of hair smell and I'm not sure what to do to help our friendship |
t3_qpo9h | AskReddit | Reddit please help I have a tenant in my house that wont go away and I can't afford to evict her! | Basically she stopped paying rent about 8 months ago, I asked her to leave as soon as she could (she has 5 kids and no place to go so i did not want to throw her on the streets) 1 months in she didn't leave yet and I had to move to a different county from where this house is.
This house is in a horrible neighborhood so I figured as long as she pays electricity and water she could stay and take care of the house. Mean while she assured me she was taking care of the house. Next thing I know I get mail from that city saying they cut of the light and water months ago. I call her she doesn't answer, I decide to call the mother in law she informs me that they stopped paying electricity and water and are stealing from the streets. They also are destroying the house form the inside. Also, shes doing drugs in the house.
I asked her to leave but she wont. Should I get the police involved? Is she a squatter or is she a tenant, considering she broke contract long ago?
My plan now is to go to the police and tell them how they are stealing electricity water and doing drugs. is this the right thing to do???
I have no experience with this I received this house from a relative and have no been able to sell it. I don't know what to do. | She has not paid rent in 8 months do I have to pay the 190 dollars court filing fee or can i call cops and get them thrown out for trespassing? |
t3_2fiixk | relationship_advice | (m/23) Am I wrong for wanting friends again? | Hi RA. Throwaway because.
I've been in this relationship for 4 years and for the last year have been completely unsure on whether or not I want to remain in this. One of the main reasons is that I miss the social life I used to have. Whether it was going out with friends (even having them) or social media I always had friends. But I stopped talking to most people when I began the relationship (even my best friend which I regret SO MUCH now) and now that I have graduated college and she is still in school its been a drag not having the friends I used to. She is very jealous and insecure and has even done things like find out my passwords for social media so I was never able to get myself back out there.
Does this make me shitty person for wanting to have friends other than her? I guess you can also say I just would rather be single because I have been thinking about being a single guy for a while. Does this also make me a shitty person for wanting to leave a relationship so I can have sex with other people? I want to leave this relationship but I really do love the girl, *and I don't want to her. Which is why I'm scared to even leave her*. In the back of my head I don't know if it's smart to leave a relationship because I want to talk to other women because what if it is just a phase? Even though it's all that has ran through my brain for the last 4 months. Is this ok? Is wanting to have friends again and talk to girls a valid reason to end things? When I think about it I feel like a dick. | I cut off all friends when I began dating my girlfriend, I now think I just want to be single again and have friends again. Am I wrong for wanting to be with other girls and friends in general? |
t3_2bhvnq | relationship_advice | im [21/m] and my [17/f] wants to end things | Well here goes nothing.. I never post on here but I just feel like I have no where else to turn and could really use some advice.
My SO and I have been on and off for 4 years now, mostly on. From the beginning, her mom had a hard time accepting it because the age is a little unusual but we worked through it, dated for about a year and things ended very badly. Being younger at the time, she spent months extremely upset and was just heart broken. This turned into her mom's lasting impression of me. We talked on and off for a couple more years ago and have recently become more serious again. Every part our relationship has been different than it was 2 years ago in a positive way, we were truly happy together again and have both matured a ton. Because of what I put her through 2 years ago, her mom wont allow it to happen again. She is only trying to protect her daughter which I completely understand, but she won't even give me the chance to show how different it is this time around, and how much I truly love and care for her daughter. The thought of causing her pain again literally makes me sick to my stomach. My SO has given me an ultimatum, if this cant be worked out with her mom, its over. Neither of us want to be sneaking around so that's just the way it would have to be. I cant accept just giving up until ive exhausted every possible option I have, and her mom wont give me the time of day, ive tried. What her mom doesn't realize, is that this time its me crying every night, not the other way around. She thinks that I have the complete opposite intentions as I do. Do any of you think that there is any way around my situation? Do you agree that it is wrong to sneak around? Or should we until she is 18, when her mom said that she can do what she wants? Anything will help, this has been eating away at me and my daily life for a couple weeks now. I cant sleep and have no appetite.
Thanks Reddit. | my SO's mom wont accept our relationship |
t3_1dg72b | dating_advice | I (M22) get positive signals from her(21). Super early stage and I don't want to mess it up. | We're just casual friends, so it was weird when we hung out by accident for 6 hours, (would have been more but we closed down the place). This is where I got those "positive signals." There were a couple times in our conversation about literature and art where we caught eyes for a second longer than comfort and she laughed.
Standing in the parking lot, I got her number. We hugged. Then she invited me to her place, to where I followed her, where we studied independently together until we both passed out. She ended up going to sleep in her bed and left me on her couch.
At first I thought, if she liked me, she totally would have invited me to bed with her. Then I thought, hey, I (at least think I) like her, but I didn't kiss her. We hugged before I left this morning.
I texted her early this evening for the first time, "I'd like to hang out again." So far (2:30 later), no response. | Casual and accidental study session leads to her place (no sex), leads to me thinking I want to date her. Give me any advice you can. |
t3_3xf98x | relationships | If you think someone wont text you unless you text them first what should you do? | I've been texting a girl from okcupid (I'm a girl too if that matters? we are both 23) but I'm always the first to send a message. As soon as we start texting the convos usually last at least two hours, sometimes closer to four or five.
Today I ran a little test and haven't texted her all day, and she hasn't texted me either. Should I continue the test or just message her or what? We've made a few plans to meet irl, but she keeps backing out last minute. I am starting to wonder if she is texting me back only because she is bored.
For context, I'm probably a six, she's a eight and a half, so I'm a lil out of my league and she is also more sexually experienced but she doesn't know that (yet... should I tell her? When?). So far she has been really funny and cool, but I see that she still logs into okcupid a bunch... | It seems like this girl is only messaging me because she is bored. Should I give up on pursuing her, or is there still a chance for us to have some sort of relationship? |
t3_4mtjdm | askwomenadvice | Am I being blown off or is she just really busy? | Alright, need some reddit advice! So I went on a first date with a girl last weekend, me (35m) her (27f). I had a blast and she seemed to be into it as well. We talked over coffee and walked around a farmer's market. Ended up chatting for about 2 hours. At the end of the date I told her I had a great time and that we should do this again, she seemed happy and said we definitely should. Said our goodbyes and she went in for the hug.
Texted her the next day to set up date #2, but she's a really busy person with classes and extra curricular activities all week, so she said that weekends are her only free time. No big deal, I get it... she also wasn't sure if she had solid plans with her friends for this weekend so couldn't commit to the second date this weekend.
Texts me last Thursday and lets me know that she is going to hang out with said friends after all, which she did give me a heads up on before so I didn't think anything of it. She did say that "we could touch base next week though"...
So, is this a polite way of blowing me off, or is she actually super busy? I'm thinking of sending her a text on Tuesday and just come right out and try to set up solid plans for the following weekend. What do you think? | Trying to date a busy girl and wondering how long to wait before I ask for another date |
t3_1h7ihp | relationship_advice | [26/m]What's the deal with women[23/f] who use this tactic? Women of reddit enlighten me | I met this girl nearly a year ago, it was at a club and she seemed to be pretty chilled, not the usual party girl, but still we ended hooking up after about 2 hours (we talked/drank a lot). I took her home in a taxi and she kept saying I wasn't going to stay over. I didn't even want to since i had only met her and felt good that i didn't do something i would of regretted the next day. I think i left a good impression with her.
We then messaged for about 2 weeks on and off, facebook friended and tried to get a date but she left town for about 2 weeks and it just didn't work out. I also ended up meeting another girl who didn't really hesitate to grab all my attention.
Anyhow, she messaged me now on facebook asking how I was doing and if i still remember her - this was on Monday evening. I wasn't all to sure what to think of that, so i waited a day to reply and asked her how she was doing and that i did remember her. Asked her if she was still studying in the same city and said it was cool to hear from her again.
I have since not heard from her and she has read my message on the same day i sent it to her.... what the hell?? why does she even message me in first place ??
Was i too "neutral" ? - I didn't want to come off needy, just replied like if it was a friend
I would like to see her again, probably not as a girlfriend since i barely know her but i wouldn't mind going for a drink with her and getting to know her this time around. | Girl i met/made out with a year ago messaged me on facebook asking how i was doing and if i remember her. I replied normally (not flirting) and i haven't heard from her. what does she want from me? does she want anything from me?? did i reply to passively? |
t3_1kqty0 | relationships | Me(22f) and my boyfriend(25m) are making plans to move in together. Seeking general advice and help with a few little problems | We have been dating for just over a year, and we will be looking for places starting in October. Before we became a couple we were friends for a few years and even lived together as housemates for half a year at one point. We get along very well and communicate effectively. I'd say we have a very healthy and happy relationship, which is great because we both have had past relationships that were very rocky.
He has lived with an ex before, but it was more out of necessity (he was fresh out of highschool and at risk of being homeless) than something he wanted. He expressed that he really disliked living with her, and that the constant interaction wore him out and he even made an effort to avoid her. So when he asked me about moving in together, I was a little apprehensive at first, but he has explained that he sees this situation very differently as he is making a choice to live with me, we get along so well, and have similar desires for alone/personal time. I, however, have never lived with a SO before. I have lived with many male housemates (my boyfriend included) though, so I at least feel a little prepared for what to expect.
I am mostly just looking for general advice on making it a smooth transition. My main concerns are mostly that we both have busy schedules (full time school, part time jobs) and we generally only see each other 2 or 3 times a week with one or two nights spent together. Aside from a few week long trips we have taken together, we've not spent a continual amount of time around each other in the way we will be doing once we live together.
I'd love to hear what people like/don't like about living with a SO and what helps to make it a good experience. Thanks for the advice! | Moving in with the boyfriend. Excited, happy, a little nervous. Seeking general advice to make it a smooth transition and happy living situation for everyone! |
t3_2hgo7q | offmychest | Websites: Stop trying to look like Apple products | I cannot stand every website I visit adopt the same style of layout; bright, borderless colors that hurt my eyes with oversimplified user interfaces that won't let me do specific functions on them without spending a ludicrous amount of time going through different "how to" videos on Youtube and other websites trying to re-learn how to use the site. I've had to stop using all of my social media because the options with how I want to use my account are always getting smaller and smaller. I'm glad that Reddit is the one site I visit that doesn't want to look like a fucking Apple product, because if it did then I would immediately stop using this site and omit it from the hosts folder on my computer, so that if I were to be stupid enough to try and come back I would be reminded on why I stopped coming in the first place. It's okay to change a book by it's cover, but stop burning the goddamn pages please. | Websites like Facebook, Twitter, Paypal, etc won't stop changing their layout and limiting user options, so I've stopped using them |
t3_q5947 | AskReddit | My crazy asian mother has once again found my marijauna. | I am 20 years old currently attending college. While staying at home and commuting has its bennefits, having a mother with CABS (crazy asian bitch syndrom) can be a major issue. After finding more undeniable proof yet again, she seems to have had it. Nearing heart attack conditions she began her usual scream sesion with an accent of the high expectation father, because thats litterally what she is; yes that sterotype exists! Holy shit is this crazy, I know there are other out there who are in my same postions: A crazy ass fucking asian mother. How to I break their loyalty to old school traditions? | CABS = Crazy Asian bitch sydrom. Asking any Asian American with an Asian mother with die hard traditions : How do I make her understand I do not wish to follow in her anciet korean ways? ? |
t3_eusnj | AskReddit | How do you control your anger/temper? | So I actually feel kind of odd even asking this, but it's something that has popped up of late. I was never a particularly violent person, but I used to have quite a temper. When I was younger I was much more prone to fury than I am now. However at 27, I'd like to think that I've matured and I'm pretty level headed. I havent been in a fight since I was like 19 and most people that know me have never even seen me angry. (annoyed yes, but actual anger is very rare)
However lately there's someone I know that has been bringing back those old feelings. The thing is, he's kind of socially awkward, and I know he doesnt realize he's doing it, but that doesnt help. It's always little juvenile things...rubbing snow on me, setting off the flash on my camera right in my face...shit like that. But when he does these things, i don't think he realizes that I'm using every shred of my self control not to beat him into a coma.
I don't even get what would make him think this is a good idea. I'm bigger than him, stronger than him, and while I dont want to prejudge, I'd say it's safe to assume that were I to actually get angry I'd wreck him. Ive told him as gently as I can that fucking with me really isn't a good idea, but I think that I've put so much effort into mellowing out as Ive gotten older that I don't think he realizes how close he is getting. Last incident it took closing my eyes counting to 10 very slowly, and deep breathing to contain myself.
So yeah, | I've works very hard to mellow out as an adult, but recently I've been having a hard time resisting the urge to beat the shit out of someone who for some reason thinks I'm the guy to fuck with. |
t3_18cgu8 | AskReddit | If in a game of Rummy, two players reach the same point goal during the same hand, how do you decide who wins? | Today a friend and I were playing our remixed version of Rummy. The main rule is "The first player to reach 200 points wins." Since you can gain or lose points during each hand, it is not uncommon for the opponents to reach this threshold at the end of the same hand, however my friend has an odd idea about the scoring.
In today's scenario, he was up 182-180. I ended up scoring several points more than him and the final score was 254-242. That means I won and should have been the end of it, right? Wrong. He asserted that he won because he was ahead in the previous round and if you were to add up the points 1 by 1, and simultaneously for the both of us, he would reach 200 sooner. I argued how ludicrous that sounded and tried to sway him otherwise. He made an analogy to 2 men stacking bricks until one can reach a ceiling. Whether or not you break the ceiling doesn't matter, but who gets there first does. I retaliated saying that if you graphed the point increases as points on a plot versus time, I would reach 200 before him because I had gained more points in the same time period. We still have yet to decide who rightfully won that match. So, what do you guys think? | If 2 people play a game to 200 points and both pass it in the same round, is the winner the one who was closer before or the one with the higher score at the end of the round? |
t3_21bnq2 | relationships | I [22/f] go to school with my ex [24/m] and have to see him everyday. Seeing him makes me physically ill. How do I get over this? | First off, my (22/f) ex (24/m) just broke up with me this past weekend. I was, and still am, head over heels in love with the guy. While he says he loves me too, he's dealing with some anxiety and depression right now and says he needs to be alone to sort himself out.
I also am struggling with a ton of anxiety and depression at the moment. I am considering a medical withdrawal from grad school to go to a long-term treatment center, but right now I'm just struggling with the day to day.
I just saw him for the first time in the library and felt literally like I was going to vomit. I immediately went to the bathroom and had a panic attack. This is not something that can continue to happen...
My question is, what are some ways I can reduce the amount of pain I'm feeling at having to see him in the hallway multiple times per day? A masochistic part of me kind of WANTS to run into him to see him, but afterward I'm left feeling 100 times worse off than before. I just don't know what to do. | How can I get over an ex that I still have to see every day? |
t3_16c7pt | AskReddit | I left a very heavy desk next to the side of the road near my house. Will this upset my landlord? | Two days ago, I moved into a new room in a two story house. It's huge and has a personal bathroom. The landlady lives in the story below me. She is very friendly, although it seems like she is used to older tenants (I'm 20). I'm very happy in my room and want to make a good impression on my landlady, because I may want to stay here a long time.
I found a desk being offered for free on craigslist and wanted it for my room. I called the guy and he was eager to give it to me. He helped me load it into his truck and unload it in front of my new house (he did most of the lifting). Because of the layout of my house, the desk would only fit through a flight of stairs leading through my landlady's part of the house, so I called her and let her know we were moving a desk through. The desk is incredibly heavy! It's not practical to take upstairs to my room. When the guy saw that we had to take the desk up stairs, he said that he couldn't help me because he suddenly had something important he had to take care of. So he left me with this incredibly heavy desk in front of my landlady's house. The desk was in front of her house for two hours. She was definitely inside I'm not sure if she came outside and saw the desk.
I called two of my friends and we moved it half a block away onto some grass that is on city park property. It is right next to the side of the road and visible from my house. I put an ad on Craigslist free section last night, but so far no one has picked it up. What should I do? SHould I just leave it and hope for the best? Should I haul it somewhere further away? Should I pay to have somebody pick it up? Will my landlady be upset? It's rainy and the desk is getting wetter and wetter. | I left a desk by the side of the road. It's really heavy. What should I do? |
t3_30e34q | relationships | Me [21M] known her [18F] for a month or so, spent a fair amount of time in bed teasing each other, but she has a boyfriend [19M] | So I met this girl from my class, the first time we talked, we had an instant connection. No doubt in saying I have feelings for her. Pretty early on she told me she has a boyfriend, but that didn't bother me much back then. As time passes, we grew on each other.
Not long ago, she came over to my place after class. I mentioned I have a sore back, she offered to give me a back massage, without any hesitation she took off my top, laid me down sat on my ass and start giving me back rubs. She teased me, started to talk sexually to me but she wouldn't make the move, I think she's expecting me to start. So I did, ran thru her hair with my finger tips and give her some back rubs. Running my hands close to her breasts and her buttocks. She was moaning and that turned me on greatly.
As I was taking it to the next step, her phone rang, it was her boyfriend. She lied about what she was doing, of course she would. Now here's the thing, whenever I'm with her and her boyfriend calls, she always lie to him about where she was, who she was with and what she was doing. I can sense that he is one of those control freak of a boyfriend. And she wants a bit of freedom with me.
Is she trying to break up with her boyfriend and be with me? Am I over thinking everything? What should I do?
Note: I slept with a girl who had a boyfriend of 5 years before, I've broken up their relationship and that made me felt really horrible and I do not want to break up another relationship. | She might just want to have sex with me and stay with her boyfriend. |
t3_p4bz0 | relationships | Dealing with my father | I'm 22 F, my dad is 50s M.
Backstory: After my mom died (my senior year of highschool), my dad and I have been slowly drifting apart. We are quite a like, but different at the same time. From my point of view, he's slowly turning into my grandparents (aka grumpy cankerous and unforgiving). Recently (last month) we've been arguing over email about stupid he said/she said shit. I told him that he wins, that I don't want to argue any more, he says I'm giving up, and refuses to just let things go. So I say fine, I won't contact you if you are going to be that way, I just want my stuff. Still haven't set a date to get everything (I currently live 3 hours away).
The current crisis: Today, out of the blue, after not talking to my dad for over a month, I get an email from him. Saying that he's getting married soon. I have no idea to who, how long they've been dating, etc. He has never, not once mentioned her. Ever. I don't even know what to say to the email. It gives no date, no timeline, no details, nothing. Just that he's getting married soon. WTF? How do I respond to something like this?
I don't care that he's dating someone or moving on after my mom's death. Its just really weird that he wouldn't even mention that he's dating, at all. | My dad's getting married and never told me he was even dating someone. How should I respond to this? |
t3_cur05 | relationship_advice | Possibly on the cusp of a divorce, with two young kids... | She's considering leaving to take a job in Europe, when we already both have secure, high paying jobs here in the Midwest. And she thinks she's taking our kids with her. She's putting off the decision based on whether she gets what she wants from her employer in the next week or two.
I want us all to stay together as a family, and if the employer comes through there's still a chance of that. Going to talk to a lawyer tomorrow, I'm thinking I should file for divorce right away. If she decides to stay I can drop it, if not the ball will be rolling. Any advice from veterans of this horrible event?
Hurts so much inside. I've gone back to a small dosage of anti-depressants, which take a bit of the edge of the horrible anxiety, but also make me slightly nauseous. Last night I got to sleep at midnight, woke from regular-feeling dreams at 2:30am, and was immediately flooded with non-specific dread. I have no family or real friends here as I followed her here for her first job.
And I'll throw this in for the single guys out there (even though they won't listen): don't ever ever get married. Think of it this way, you're signing a binding, legal and enforceable contract with the State based on emotions.
>< | pain |
t3_41pmtp | relationships | A question for men with little experience with dating. | Hello! I've (29/F) been hanging out with this guy (25/M) for a while. We finally went on our first date recently and I can say that we both like each other.
With that said, I've casually asked him about his dating past and he really wont talk about it. He says he hasn't been on a date in a while and when I asked what that meant, he coyly said "it's been a hot minute..."
He also is a very timid kisser which I find adorable. Basically, I can tell that he doesn't have much experience in the dating department and I'm guessing that goes for the bedroom as well.
I really like this guy and I don't care if he's not as experienced as me. My question is really how should I go about initiating things? Like, I don't want to move too fast, but I have to admit that I've been wanting to move things along physically for a bit because I find him super attractive and I love his personality.
Guys with little experience, how would you want a girl to move forward with you? Do you want someone to just take charge or would you want to talk stuff out first? Is there a nice/diplomatic way to ask if he's a virgin (which I totally don't care about)?
I have been known to be aggressive when it comes to guys I like. I am also very open minded when it comes to sex and really enjoy pleasuring, but I don't want to scare him off. | I'm seeing a guy that probably has little experience dating women. I like him, he's adorable, and I want to know how to proceed without scaring him off. |
t3_2gkr3d | tifu | TIFU by annoying a nerd | This is not only my very first TIFU post, but my very first Reddit post of my own overall, so please critique me in areas that I need to improve in. Anyway, this happened back in middle school (around 2005).
Growing up, I was the outcast in my group of classmates from elementary school, and every time I almost made a friend, I would screw it up by being an annoying asshole. One day, I annoyed one of my more nerdier classmates, which cumulated into a fight of words. We both got in trouble, and were sent to the assistant principal's office. After begging her not to call my parents and begging my classmate for forgiveness, we were sentenced to in class suspension (basically in school suspension in another class of the same grade). While in class, I also tattled on the same student for playing on his Game Bot Advance, and the teacher told me not to be a tattle tale, even though it was against the rules.
I still regret that day, and it is one of reasons I tend to stay quiet when things happen. I didn't even tell my mom about the suspension until years later. | Don't be annoying to people. Do your best to get along with people, or at least tolerate the people who you don't like and/or don't like you. |
t3_1m96be | relationship_advice | I need help. Words can't describe it here. :( | It is beyond stressfull to be emotionally attracted to a girl and sexually attracted to a guy. I've known her since 4th grade, but I don't want to get friendzoned(maybe try for prom in April if I can work up to it). Then I have a friend who said he's sometimes gay(alpha heterosexual every other 29 days of the month) and goes from acting like a dick to a sincere person(like some kind of male menstrual cycle).
To make matters worse my first guy crush came out of the closet and I don't know what to tell him. Everything is a mess and I can't stop thinking about the emotional and sexual parts of life rather than moving on. If I were to say I'm bisexual it would change my entire school life, but maybe Id have someone else(not supposed to rely on someone else for happinness according to the mallard). It depresses me. :( | depressed & feels like lifes a mess- emotionally attracted to girl and sexual to a guy |
t3_xibu6 | relationships | Am i over-reacting? | I've been with a girl for about 6 months (both 19). I recently came across (by accident) a facebook message from another guy asking for her number and then she gave it. I also know that she is texting her ex and upon reading one of the texts he mentioned meeting up some time in case she was "bored", she passively agreed to this but to my knowledge no firm meeting was arranged. Another final thing is that she told me a guy who was a club promoter kept texting her and she never replied. I found out she was texting him but nothing really sexual or of a cheating nature. However i asked her recently if she had ever texted him to which she replied 'no'- a clear lie.
Anyway... I'm thinking about breaking up with her over a lack of trust and a fear that she's cheating on me. Is that the right thing to do? | gf texting other guys/ lying about it... am i wrong to end the relationship? |
t3_10utf0 | relationships | Relationship falling apart? F (16) M(16) | My boyfriend and I, both 16, have been dating for almost a year. We used to never argue at all. We created a strong bond from the very beginning of our relationship, and are very close. Here within the past 2 months we have been arguing a lot. They begin as small arguments, but escalate quickly because we are both stubborn and both want to be right. I know I love him, there is no doubt. We have amazingly great times together. But, when we have an argument or get upset, its bad.
Although the arguments are over nothing, they have still been stressing us out to the max. **What can we do to strengthen our relationship and lessen our arguments?**
Also, I have had depression for a few years and have been extremely insecure about myself for a long time. I have thoughts that go through my head sometimes about how my boyfriend can do better. I get jealous of girls he is friends with easily. I trust him a lot, and do not think he will cheat on me ever. **How can I increase my confidence in myself to realize that I am actually okay in our relationship? | read the bolded questions. |
t3_1re7iy | relationship_advice | [21/F] Could I have scared my boyfriend [21/M] off? | My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time tonight after being together for a month and talking casually for a month beforehand. Before we had sex, I mentioned starting to fall for him, since he had said it before. He kissed me, and then I asked him how he felt. He said that he thinks he's falling for me, and I asked him if he was just being nice and if he meant it, and he said yes.
Then we had sex. Now, we had talked about this issue when we first started dating. We both agreed that sex would be a big step, and how I do have a fear of a guy that I have feelings for leaving me after sleeping together. After we were finished, he reassured me three or so times that he isn't like that and that he will see me again. At one point I asked him if he meant as a date, and he joked, "No, as friends. Of course as a date." (I'm cringing as I type this.) I wasn't crying, and I've never mentioned specific guys or instances, so hopefully it didn't sound too baggage-y. I also told him that I trust him, and I thanked him for reassuring me and that it won't happen often. I mentioned having a stay-in movie night, and he agreed.
Right before I got out of his car, I showed him how to save his home address on Google Maps. He said that he should save my home address on it too, so part of me thinks that he couldn't have been too scared/put off.
I don't know. I just want to relax. But I'm so scared. So, so scared. I hate being vulnerable. I've been burned in the past pretty badly, and I just want to be able to enjoy this relationship, but it's difficult.
Did I screw up? | Slept with boyfriend, brought up insecurity of him leaving after having sex with me, did I mess up big time? |
t3_4pqflh | relationships | Should I [18 M] tell my girlfriend I cheated on her? (12 M) | I feel beyond shitty for it and I was really drunk when I did it. I love my SO and the bare thought of me telling her I did this to her, and seeing the pain it would cause her is possibly the worst thing I could ever imagine, I'd rather hate myself and keep it a secrete than tell her...
I've never felt the way I do with another person and I would honestly consider marrying her (if we stay together through college). The girl I cheated with means absolutely nothing to me and what would bring me to do it makes no sense to me. I'm very happy in my relationship and as is she. | I'm an asshole that would rather live with regret then hurt her. |
t3_2078hv | relationships | This will likely be the last time I (26m) write in this subreddit | Despite some supportive words and constructive critiques, I'm giving up on having a meaningful relationship and am resigning myself to bachelorhood.
Without sounding conceited, I have a few things going for me that some don't. But I also realize my negative attributes outweigh them considerably. I'm just now enrolling in university at a time when most people my age either have a bachelor's or are completing a master's degree. I work a retail management job that pays peanuts when most are starting promising careers. I will always be behind the curve, never in front of it. And lastly, I know my clinical depression makes me a non-option; I can take medication, I can go to therapy, but it will never go away no matter how I manage it.
So, Relationships, I'm throwing in the towel. There are a few things I can change, but the ones I can't logically make me a nonstarter. | personal issues make me nonviable and rather than beat my head against a wall trying to find and maintain a facet of life I will never have, I'm just going to accept things as they are. |
t3_3465ja | relationships | My[23F] boyfriend[27M] texts former FWB(???) sometimes, should I be concerned? | He's known her since high school and we've been together for 3.5 years. When our relationship was new, he mentioned this girl and said that they used to be "make-out buddies" and that she gave him a blowjob that he didn't get off from. I don't know if this was more than once or what. She didn't want to have sex with him due to her religion and wanting to save it for love.
Anyway, they're still friends. I snooped on his chat history and they chat about platonic stuff, but it always seems to be him initiating the convo. | Bf keeps in touch with a friend he used to be 'make-out buddies' with, should I care at all? |
t3_2dkcvh | running | Grade 1 Quad Strain - 10 weeks to race. Anyone have experience with this? | I'm 10 days in to a strained vastus lateralis (the outside muscle in your quads). There was no bruising, and I think I stopped running before it got too bad. I followed the advice on the internet and iced the hell out of it for about four days. Got a compression brace, which I wore pretty much 24/7 for the first five days. At this point, the acute pain was gone and I started wearing it less.
At that point, I started doing some light stretching and massage, and it seemed like it was doing better. I was also walking 1-3 miles a day every day.
On day 8, I was feeling pretty much back to normal. So I tested it out by jumping on one of those AMT machines for 10 minutes. (I think it's called an AMT machine. It's like an eliptical, but with bands that are supposed to let you move your legs in a more natural motion.) I had zero pain after that.
So on day 9, I did the AMT again -- this time for 28 minutes with no pain.
This morning (day 10), I decided it was time to road test this thing. I heated the muscle for 15 minutes, did some stretching and a scaled down dynamic warm-up before setting out on a really slow jog. I went about 3/4 mile with no pain. Then I sort of became aware of the spot. It didn't really register on the pain scale at all, but that spot was sort of "activated" in my mind.
I went on for another three miles with a mix of walking/running. I still don't have any pain and I've kept the brace on (a clean one) all day.
I'm wondering when I should feel confident to go back out and try to stretch my legs again. I've got a race in 10 weeks and would rather lose a couple of weeks of training than make the tear worse. | I strained my quad 10 days ago. Anyone with experience with this injury have any anecdotes or advice on recovery? |
t3_2hef77 | relationships | Me [21 F] with guy I went out with twice [23 M] last month.... | Went out with a guy twice last month.
First date was great, second was okay but we both agreed that we were exhausted from work and continued to talk often after.
He started a new job so I knew he would be busy for two weeks or so which is totally fine with me.
I always tend to text him first but he always has responded until recently with really long messages and asking me how things are etc and keeping the convo up.
He stopped responding, claimed that I didn't get some of his texts when I texted him a second time and then just stopped all together.
I figured okay I get the hint and stopped texting him to ask to hang out since we only went out twice and though I think he's a nice guy I'm not going to chase someone around who doesn't want to see me.
He added me on snapchat the other day and hasn't sent anything but I don't understand why he's adding me on an app when he's acting like he never wants to see me again....
I had previously told him it was okay if he was too busy and didn't want to get together again and that I wouldn't be offended at all and he responded saying nonono I want to hang out I'm just slammed this week but plans soon.
I'm very confused. Anyone have any ideas what he might be thinking? | He hadn't responded to two of my texts to hang out and I figured I got the hint. I hadn't texted him since and he added me on snapchat the other day. Not sure why he would add me if he acts like he has no intention on seeing me again? |
t3_ptelu | GetMotivated | A thought, wolves, about life and entropy | I am a student of physics, and I've been considering the concept of entropy to be an interesting life metaphor for some time, but this morning it all came together:
For those unfamiliar with the principle, entropy is a thermodynamic property that basically corresponds to how "orderly" energy is in a system. A bunch of dirt strewn across the ground is very disorderly, or high entropy, as compared to a brick, or, say, a diamond. As time goes forward, things tend toward their natural state of disorderly unless outside work is done on the system, and in fact, this is what people think is the reason that time flows the way it does, from the low entropy state of everything existing at the same point, to now, to the eventual heat-death of the universe, where everything will be non-interacting particles isolated in space.
But this has always got me thinking. I can see something akin to entropy every time I put a piece of clothing on my floor. It takes effort, work/energy, to not only change things for the better, but to maintain them. This is not a one-time tussle with my issues, I can't "beat" my problems. Life is a constant fight. As time goes forward, shit will fuck itself up regardless of if you are helping it along or not. And as much as you might feel fucked up, you don't get to go back to that perfect happy unfucked state without doing something.
At first glance this might seem a little fatalistic; why should we spend all our time and effort fixing things that are just going to break themselves again? You might be the underdog now, be it by your own or by life's hand, but you know that it's never going to stop taking effort to live your life, nor should you want it to be. The goal should not be to get out of the hole for the sake of reaching safety alone, but to get out also to learn how to maintain your balance to not fall back in.
A long time ago my friend sent me an analysis of the Myth of Sisyphus. I think I would like to go read it again. | Life takes (as does the universe) energy to combat the progression of disorder over time. Therefore the struggle may be unending, but we should look to it as trial and error to discover the means by which we should tackle future struggles rather than an insurmountable goal. |
t3_1q52cf | relationships | [21F] and dating [21M] for 1.5 years...living together, fallen out of love. What do I do? | My boyfriend and I have been living together for four months now. We also live with some other friends who are attending the same college.
Over the past month, we've had a rapid decline in communication and in our sex life. The latter is mostly my fault, he is always eager but I've just felt less and less inclined to do anything sexual because - to be quite honest - I don't find him attractive anymore. We rarely talk about our relationship and all of our interests are different now...
I have two jobs and I'm also in school. I suffer from severe anxiety and panic attacks. My decision is becoming more and more clear with every day, however I'm afraid of how what I really want will affect both him and myself...
But god dammit, I'm tired of living in what feels like a gigantic lie to my own heart. If I end things, I know tensions will be incredibly high in the house and I'll have to come up with a solution to our living situation. My question to you reddit is this: Do I follow my heart and let things end, no matter how messy it may be? Or do I keep on keeping on? | Living with boyfriend, do not love him anymore...feel stuck. |
t3_z7bqc | dating_advice | Need an outsider's opinion | I [22F] saw a guy [22M] I knew in high school last weekend. We and all of our friends were drunk. After lots of talking and hours of hanging out, we ended up making out and sleeping in the same bed. I was worried that he would not feel the same way in the morning, but things were fine and dandy. We text each other a couple times a day and have talked on the phone twice (he lives an hour away so we haven't seen each other). We both decided it was unfair to let one drunken night declare how we felt, but we should get to know each other better. So, things have been going pretty well. But he has an ex that is still in the picture. I have asked about her but he brushes it off and says it's not anything to worry about and that their relationship is stale. I say ok, but still keep a little distance about that subject. He said he was going out of town this weekend and names all of the friends he's going with. Haven't talked to him because I'm trying to give him his space (super hard because I'm super impatient). Saw on Facebook that he was tagged somewhere and in a picture with the ex. Am I validated in being a little mad that he didn't mention that she would be there? I'm just kind of upset with myself for being 1. impatient 2. selfish and 3. crushing too hard too soon. | Hooked up with a guy, what now? Has an ex who is still in the picture. |
t3_3j191d | tifu | TIFU by double-meating myself. | So this just happened roughly 10 minutes ago.
I haven't had any proper meals all day, and with my hunger-ridden mind, I walk down to the subway down my street. Normally I'm pretty modest about what I get on my sub, however with my hunger hindering my thinking process, I decided to go with the pastrami melt foot long. For those who don't dine at Subway, the pastrami melt is already heavy on the meat. Here's where I fucked up though, multiple times.
First, I got it on the new spicy bread they have. Then I somehow overlook the fact I said double meat on the pastrami melt. The person tending to my sub looked at me like I was crazy. Didn't help I also got double pepper jack...and then I topped it off with jalapeno and chipotle sauce. Plus chips and a drink?
It devoured it down pretty rapidly, and now I feel all sorts of fucked up. My stomach is now making weird noises and uncomfortable ache, and I'm more full than I should ever be at the moment. I feel like I'm about to visit the restroom soon. | I shoved too much meat down into me wit and now I'm paying the consequences. |
t3_1owx5f | relationships | How do I (23f) get over him (24m)? | This may sound weird but I am still in love with my ex from a long time ago. We met a couple months before we both turned 16. We talked constantly and dated for about eight months despite living two hours away from each other. Our parents were happy to drive us to see one another. He was my first love and the more I think about it, he has been the only one I have ever truly loved.
I made a huge mistake and cheated on him eight months into our relationship and ruined everything. Him and I still talk occasionally and he seems like he still likes me. We have hung out recently and plan on seeing each other soon.
I am not sure where to fit this in but when I have been in a relationship since him and I broke up I know that if he said he wanted to try again I would have left whoever I was with in an instant. I am not looking for a relationship right now but if he said he wanted to be with me now I would jump on the opportunity. I feel stupid for not being over this almost eight years later but he is perfect. He is everything I ever wanted and I messed up.
Do I try to get over him or just bide my time and see if he finally comes around? I have tried to get over him for almost eight years and it still hasn't happened. What do I do? | still in love with my ex boyfriend from when I was 16. Can't get over him no matter how hard I try. What do I do? |
t3_4pleo8 | askwomenadvice | What do I do after she says that? | I'm a 17 male, and never really done much with girls. They text me and I hangout with them in general every now and then but not frequently.
Recently I've really grown close to one, and she comes to me whenever she needs help with say school, her parents when they "annoy her", we both play tennis so I help her with that as well.
Her boyfriend just broke up with her about 2 months ago after I think it was 22 months together and that crushed her.
2 months later I'm walking to the place where I train for and she stops me with this teary eyed face and rather sad voice and says we need to hangout soon.
The next day we get coffee in the morning and just discuss about random things and later that day she texts me saying this, "For some reason when I'm around you I feel every sadness and thing I'm stressing about go away and I'm happy."
So does that mean she likes me? Or is it just a friend thing? I really don't know. | Boyfriend breaks up with her after 22 months and she's crushed. Tells me that when she's around me she forgets all of her sadness and is happy. What does that mean. |
t3_4hnm5z | relationships | I [33F] feel like I'm failing my partner [31M] in the pet name department. | My partner of a few months and I are in a not-very-long-distance relationship (about an 1:15 apart), and recently he started calling me baby - in person, and a lot through text and on the phone - which I really love, especially coming from him. In the past, I've called boyfriends weird names that just come to me or are some kind of inside joke, but I don't know...this guy is different, I want to give him the same love he is giving me. Can I just start calling him baby? Or does that seems lazy, like I'm copying him? | My partner is verbally affectionate, and I feel like I'm not keeping up. Can I call him baby? Do guys like to be called baby, or should I wait and come up with something organically? |
t3_1yk517 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my partner [22 F] of 7.5 years, need ideas how to spend time together | Not sure how appropriate this questions is as a lot of people here have way more serious issues.
Me and my partner have been living together for almost 1.5 years now. Before living together when we met up for a date we were always very eager to see eachother. Seeing eachother daily (as well as a very busy schedule) has made us a tad satiated.
To combat this, we started doing date nights instead of always hanging on the couch. To give us something to look forward to, to do together. She's a rather outgoing person, while I'm more of a stay-at-home guy. Most of our dates have been going out to do something. By now, we've kind of did everything there is to do in our region. While we can do things multiple times, we started thinking of new things. Me being a stay-at-home guy suggested finding things to do in our apartment that are not the regular "sit on the couch and watch a movie" kind of things. We're having trouble thinking of things. | Any fun ideas that you have either done or heard someone doing with their partner at home? |
t3_3goiwv | relationships | Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [17F] 7 months, I think she wants to leave me and I don't know what to do. | I've never had a girlfriend, so she is my first one. Everything was going good till 4 days ago she got really upset at me. She had skipped out hanging with her family so she could facebook message me, I wasn't home, but I could still message her, so i didn't think it was a big deal. She got mad at me.
I thought she'd eventually forgive me because I thought it was silly,but she didn't. After a day everything seemed to go back to normal when out of the blue she asks me who my priority was. I of course instantly said it was her, after that she said alrighty and started being really distant.
this continued till today where I would ask questions and she would give me really distant short answers. Eventually she asked why even if she was being distant I kept loving her. I told her because I loved her and it didn't matter what happened. She replied with not if I keep being distant...
I asked her what she meant by that and she said I don't know. I asked if I was the only one she was being distant with and she just replied with a sad emoji.
after that I told her that I really loved her and that she was the best thing in my world. She told me to stop, and I asked stop what? and she said loving me so much...I asked if she wanted me to give her space and she replied with no, I don't know. After that she told me to go. That she'll text me in bit. | I think she's going to leave me and I'm not emotionally prepared what do I do? |
t3_51bpw3 | relationships | Me [22] M with my 22 [F] GF. Struggling at the moment and want some outside perspective. | Hello all,
I've been with my girlfriend for just over a year. She is beautiful, funny and kind. She is very thoughtful about some things like gifts and little notes etc.
HOWEVER, I am struggling at the moment. Since being together, it became clear that she suffered from some kind of chronic anxiety issue which i encouraged her to seek help for (I am a chrinic depressive and found therapy really helpful). She is currently in therapy for it but is struggling at the moment.
I am more than happy to be a shoulder to lean on and have done so over the past year. My issue is however, that quite plainly, she doesn't love me. Our communication is good and we have discussed this a few times now. Each time she has stated that I am the nicest guy who treats her so much better than her previous two relationships. She says I'm hot and attractive to her, and that I fulfil her needs and desires in terms of company, sexually and in terms of emotional support. She says that she desperately wants to but just isn't in love with me - but hopes to be. She thinks it's linked with her anxiety. Frankly, it makes me tear up sometimes. I have assured her that I know people's emotions develop at different rates, and that I'm happy to wait. However, this is the third time this conversation has tearfully rolled by and its starting to hurt a bit.
My first and only other partner left me after two years because she wanted to reinvent herself and was scared of settling down (Which hurt tremendously) and I desperately don't want to let the woman that I love slip by.
I don't really know why I'm writing this, I guess I just want to vent really. I just hope she can find it somewhere.
What is your take on this situation everyone? | GF doesn't love me, may be due to anxiety but I'm not sure. What to do? |
t3_1uyx1t | relationships | My(M19) gf(F17) wants to try sex with someone other than me. | Sorry this is on mobile
My gf(17) wants to see what it's like to have sex with someone other than me(M19).
We both took each others virginity and we have been dating for almost 1.5 years.
Now she's saying she wants to try something new but she still loves me and wants to be with me.
Don't we ALL want to try something new after being with only one person?? But I don't know what to do!
Do I let her try it?
Do I break up with her?
I love this girl more than anything in the world and want to be with her, she hasn't wanted to have sex for a little over a month and note she's telling me this. I honestly have no idea what I should do. | my girlfriend only had sex with me, she loves Me and wants to be with me but wants to know what it's like to be with someone else |
t3_41fj4k | relationships | Is desire a conscious choice, or is it something else? | Having a bit of a discussion (okay, a disagreement, really) with my [46M] wife [45F]. Been together almost 20 years, and had our share of ups and downs.
In this particular down cycle, it seems that her view on sex in our relationship has changed, and not for the positive. I feel like this is a conscious decision that she is making to **NOT** want to have sex, or to explore anything new. I mean, I think it's possible to see someone and feel *something*, but then you either choose to act on that feeling or not.
When we were first together and just married, we both felt something and we both wanted to express that in a physical way through an active and fun sex life. Now, if I bring up anything in that regard, it's met with some significant negative reactions, to the point where we're basically having sex once a week or every other, and it's as plain as plain vanilla as you can get. So, maybe not exactly a dead bedroom, but certainly not all that much to look forward to. I've always thought that as you spend more time with someone, the tendency would be to become less inhibited, not more, as she seems to be. She says she's still attracted to me, but that she gets all that she needs from a our less frequent encounters and doesn't have any real interest in trying anything new.
Obviously, we need to talk to someone about this in a professional setting, but I've seen some really good advice on this sub in the past and thought I might ask. | Wife seems to have lost interest in sex, I think this is a conscious choice and not just an inevitable fact of life. |
t3_2x073p | tifu | TIFU by forgetting to lock that door | So early this morning I'm doing my thing upstairs in my room, trying to finish up this small batch of meth so my friends and I can get up n go. Everything's going good the final product is only minutes from being finished. It's quiet downstairs where my mother is sound asleep or so I assumed. All of a sudden I hear footsteps just outside the bedroom door. I tried to tell myself I was just hearing things, but then I hear the doorknob jiggle. I jumped, looking towards the door and realized I didn't even fucking lock the door! So I dive at the door as fast as possible to try to lock it before whoever was there gets inside. I barely got my hand on the doorknob when the door swings open, and my mother rushes inside, like she already knew she was bout to catch me slipping. "What are you DOING?" She said, as I watched her eyes direct straight to the bottle of meth ingredients that was in the hand I tried and failed to hide behind my back. So then obviously I'm just like, "uhhh... nothin." And she just stares at me for what seems like forever. "Get rid of that shit right now. Get it out of here!" she said, and without saying a damn thing I grabbed everything and was on my way.
The fucked up crazy part is that was pretty much it. She didn't say another word, and just walked right back downstairs and went to bed. I didn't know what to think because I just expected her reaction to that situation to be a lot more dramatic. Like really loud and maybe violent. But she just walked away and fucking went straight back to bed! I just waited for half an hour and took everything back to the room to finish up what she interrupted, and everything worked out I think. The dope was good. I just have to make sure to avoid running into my mother ever again now, because I have no idea what the fuck will happen. | I was cooking some meth in secret upstairs when mom walks right the fuck in but strangely doesn't attack me and now it's gonna be hella awkward next time we speak |
t3_15wkxn | legaladvice | Does de facto custody schedule hold more legal weight than (unfollowed) decree custody schedule? | [X-post in Divorce]
For the sake of narrative bias I'm going to write this as cleanly as possible, parties historically are high-conflict and even a throwaway can be risky. If you've been there you know the paranoia.
The situation: Ex-spouses have followed an agreed-upon joint custody schedule since divorce, that differs from one in decree. Plenty of proof it's been followed willingly by both parties, though it's changed over four years and one parent is provably adjusting it more than the other. However if one parent decides to suddenly use the original decree as an excuse to adjust the de facto schedule, does that make it a violation of custody agreement? | One parent feels de facto schedule carries more weight, other parent feels if authorities/legal counsel get involved, decree wins until custody is legally modified by judgment. |
t3_4kwirl | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] for three years on May 18, she just told me she wants to end things | I have to begin by saying that I know it is my fault, I just want to know what you all think, is there something I can do? should I just move on and let her be?
So she told me that she cannot continue dating me, that she is tired of me and the relationship. She feels like she has had to carry the relationship for multiple years, I do know that I could have been more caring and that I could have showed here my love by gifts and details much more, but I didnt.
I have depression and used to go to the psychologist, however because of money I had to stop a couple of years ago, however after money wasn't a problem I just couldn't get myself to go again, I think I gave up on my self and it showed in the relationship.
I told her I would change, that I wanted to get better, I already contacted a new psychologist and started going to the gym (I was gaining weight) she told me she would give me an opportunity, two days ago, and everything seemed fine, I was giving it my all, and she seemed happy, today we where going out and she dropped the bomb on the road, I couldnt react, she left me by my car and we drove off, I was in shock, now I am here and I do not know what to do.
She also mentioned that she met someone at her work but that he had nothing to do with it, she promised me that they never did anything and that she would never hurt me that way but I dont know. | Girlfriend of three years tired of the relationship but I still love her, what to do? |
t3_1g5p2c | relationships | I [20F] don't know if I want to be with my bf [20M] anymore | We have been dating over 3 years. I will be going away to college that isn't too far (20 min away) but I will be living there and I will have a weekend job. This made me reflect on my relationship with him. He is loving, sweet, and a fantastic boyfriend but I don't know if I want to be with him for the rest of my life (he wants to).
He is a slob and relies on his mother for everything (refuses to do his own laundry even if it piles up because she does the laundry anyway..and when she doesn't he gets mad at her).. he doesn't take school too seriously yet he has improved from high school (he definitely doesn't try hard though, just the bare minimum). He prioritizes his friends and hanging out before any responsibilities he may have. He has never had a job and always says he will get one in the summer and he hasn't yet.. so he never has money to do anything with me. All he wants to do is sit around and watch tv all day and occasionally go for 10 minute walks and when he does get money (mowing the lawn or other chores) he spends it on food or video games and never saves it to do stuff with me..
When we have the house to ourselves if parents go on vacation for a week or 2 he is very helpful with chores so I don't understand why he isn't like that all the time..
Should I stay with him or am I wasting my time? I want him to grow up but it is happening so slowly and in many ways he isn't growing. I love him and want him to be happy and I like being with him because he is a good bf.. but every time I confront him about this nothing ever changes. | Boyfriend isn't responsible, is lazy, should I break up with him? |
t3_4sdmus | travel | Luggage Allowance; Transat/Air Canada | Hello, I am literally on the verge of booking my flights to Australia to begin my working holiday visa, and I've chosen my route.
Manchester/Vancouver, Vancouver/Brisbane. Please excuse the odd choice; it's oddly sentimental to me, so won't be changing, despite the advice I've been offered, sorry!
However, I am looking for some help with baggage allowances. I have an option for ~£40 via transat to let me take two bags on with maximum limit of 33KG over two pieces, but a 32KG per piece maximum for the [option plus](
This is fine. The question comes in regards to Air Canada's [policy] maximum weight per bag is 23KG, with a further ~£60-80 (depending on whether they charge me in US or Canadian Dollars) to pay for the overweight bag.
I've checked the dimension of my fully packed bag, and it's 52" ([Berghaus Vulcan] if you're wondering. You're probably not. 28x13x11 gives me plenty of wiggle room to pad out and shrink/protective wrap. I'm used to packing small and heavy (ex-military), so aside from a daysack carried on my front with room to carry my laptop in, and a Camera Bag, everything fits within that one bag. Anything else I need I'll buy over in Australia.
I've literally already gone through a dry run of packing, and my entire life that I want to take out with me on this Working Holiday Visa fits within these two bags. The one snag has come up with the Air Canada allowance restricting me to 23KG. It's not a snag, in as much as it's solved by money, but I'd rather not need to have to pay that if I don't have to.
Thanks | Air Canada's allowance = 33KG max, 23KG per bag, 62" Maximum Bag Size, 2 Bags allowed for price of ticket. I have 1 Bag, 52" Linear, 31KG. Will I need to pay the excess simply because I'm not splitting the weight over two bags? |
t3_4iixgb | relationships | Me [23 F] with my SO [22 M] of 2 years, I'm scared of failing new things and project on my SO. | Hi Reddit, throwaway account because reasons.
I'm not sure if this is a pure relationship problem exactly, but this is my first, real long-term relationship and I really want to make it work.
When I was single, if I got frustrated with a class problem, specifically math, I would obsess over it, getting more and more frustrated because I felt like I must be incredibly stupid if I can't figure something out after an hour or so of working on it. You could say I was an overachiever because I was constantly striving for a good GPA all my life.
This behavior has carried over into my relationship with my current SO, and I'm so afraid of pushing him away because of my insecurity.
From dancing to playing instruments, I feel so inferior when I just can't get it immediately. It's like I can't take any criticism at all or I'll get extremely sad and defensive. I know this is wrong and completely unfair to my SO, but I can't help thinking he believes I must be slow and dim-witted.
The reason I say this, is because he makes me feel like my reactions to obstacles are invalid. Like if I get so frustrated I start crying, he says, "This problem really isn't that big of a deal, why are you getting so worked up over it?" It makes me feel like I can't vent or cry at all or he'll question why I'm even doing it in the first place if I get so frustrated.
I'm obviously not in the right either, because I shouldn't get so upset with him when I try to hold back my complaints and tears. I have it in my head that he thinks I should quit if I'm going to complain so much.
Otherwise, everything in our relationship is pretty awesome, I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend. I agreed to go to therapy for this soon because my insecurity, in all reality, stems from my own personal issues. Any advice? | I'm incredibly insecure about trying new things and feel like my SO invalidates my feelings. However, this may just be an overarching personal issue. |
t3_27m8m4 | tifu | TIFU by putting ant-itch on my junk | First time posting on reddit, so bare with me if my formatting is not that great :)
So I have been sick for the past week, and this morning I woke up with the rash of all rashes, covering me head to toe (Yes it is even on my dick). I just went to the doctors at around 5, and I am staying at my grandparents house tonight, as my parents are out. The doctor tells me I have Scarlett fever, great. We get home and itching starts, and it almost becomes unbearable. I go to bed but I just can't lie still, so I tell my nana I am going to watch TV and fall asleep to it. She tells me there is some anti itch liquid on the cabinet. I grabbed some and applied it all over, then some thought crosses my mind. My dick is literally on fire by this point, along with my body so I don't see the harm. I rub some over my little man and immediately when I put it away I feel the pain and wrath of the gods. It is now 12 and i am just lying here with my dick on fire. FML | Put anti itch on my dick to stop it being itchy, now feels like it will fall off |
t3_3kfjz9 | relationships | I [23 M] don't know if giving a gift to the girl [21 F] I like would be a good idea or now. | So there's this girl I've had a crush on for a while now (a little longer than a year). We are in the same group in one of our classes, and we have a lot in common, based off of what she has said about herself.
Anyways, in the past I kind of pussyfooted around asking her out, but I don't think she realized that I was asking her out.
Her birthday is coming up at the end of the month, and I kind of want to get her a gift. Specifically, I want to make her a chain bracelet with chibi characters from anime that we both watch (I would make the charms myself).
The thing is, I'm not sure if that would be too much or weird in any way, and I was hoping for advice on what to do. | Girl I like has a birthday coming up, want to give her a hand made bracelet with charms on it, but don't know if that would be too weird or not. |
t3_45cv6h | relationships | My (33F) daughter (10F) received an expensive game from an admirer (10M) in her class. | My daughter (let's call her Rose) received a valentine's day gift from a boy in her class (Bear). It's Pokemon X and runs about $40. She was hesitant to tell us because she thought we would be mad or that we would make her give it back. She had told him she was saving up for it and two days later he brought it to school without it's case.
I am unsure how to properly deal with this or if it's appropriate to let her keep the gift. He has an obvious crush on her but she says that she was very clear that she only liked him as a friend. She is not all that interested in boys (as it should be) and is more focused on her friends and is very driven at school.
My first thought is that it was his own game and he gave it to her without his parents permission. I know if I were his parent, this would upset me and likely result in a punishment (grounding ect). Bear told Rose that he used all his allowance to purchase it. If I were his parent I don't know that I would be ok with that either. We live in a middle to lower-middle class area and $40 is nothing to sneeze at and what I would consider a significant gift. Rose even admitted that she wouldn't spend that on a gift for even her best friend.
I don't want this boy to get in trouble with his parents or for them to feel Rose was taking advantage of him (she is not anything like that and is a generous, sweet and honest girl) and I also don't want her to think that this is the type of behavior she should entourage or feel good about accepting.
I would really love to have some objective insight from others, if you would be so inclined. | My 10 year old daughter received an expensive gift from a classmate and I am not sure it's a good idea to encourage the behavior (him giving, her receiving) and I am also concerned that the boy may get in trouble with his parents. advice? |
t3_1rp1u3 | personalfinance | Bank or credit union? And how to get/use credit union. | I just got my first job. It's a seasonal position. I make 9.50 an hour but have no guarantee of hours. I might make 50 dollars a week I might make 200. I've never had a bank account before but everywhere I look they all have a lot of fee's. Because I might not have that much money, the less amount of fee's the better. I know credit unions have little to no fee's but how hard is it to get into one? Where can I find one near me? How can I tell if it's any good? Or should I just try to use a bank with less fee's? Do you know of any banks without a monthly service fee? If I have 0 dollars in my account will they charge me the service fee? Will I then get charged an overdraft fee? | Whats the best option for someone with small amounts of income, banks or credit unions and which ones are best? |
t3_v7093 | AskReddit | Reddit, How do I shut the fuck up? | First off if this is in the wrong subreddit please tell me I'll move it ASAP.
This problem stems from two separate problems.
1-Volume
2-Amount
Volume-I have literally no control over the volume of my voice. I have startled people to the point that they jump just because they walk into a conversation I'm having. I have literally looked into some sort of human bark collar for this.
Amount-I can't stop talking. I will make a conversation go on at all coasts. Often to do this I will say something negative even though I know I shouldn't just to keep it going. I am always, ALWAYS the one talking the most. I feel like I have to comment on everything and the rare times I get myself to not comment I feel empty like I missed an opportunity. Disagreeing or playing devils advocate is often how I talk so that dosen't help.
I don't know what to do. I'm 21 and this has never not been a problem. Alcohol makes it worse and Cannabis makes it better (though not by much). I've always been a social outcast (I have friends just not a ton) because of this and I almost always feel like the weird one in the group.
To top it all off I have the classic anxiety/depression combo so I'm almost constantly thinking about this problem which still dosen't seem to make me shut up. | Help me lower my voice and stop talking so much. |
t3_2zqfod | relationships | Girl [20 F] is scared that I'm not over my ex [20 M] and doesn't want to escalate | I've been broken up with my ex for over 2 months now and I've finally started to move on. She broke up with me, and I was emotionally destroyed and broken up and thought that I couldn't be with anyone else... until this new girl reached out to me and wanted to start hanging out an hook up.
We have talked about sex and all the other things in between, yet haven't done more than make out and touch each other. New girl says she moves slower than most, which makes me a little bit upset, but is something that I can deal with.
For the most part, new girl, I think, is really trying to be careful and not get hurt, which I can respect, but I really do want to just start having casual sex or at least do more than touching and making out.
I don't want to kill this because she's been real good to me so far, but I don't want our difference in sexual things to get in the way. | I want to have sex with this girl, but she doesn't want to ge hurt because I got out of a 1 year+ long relationship 2 months ago. |
t3_2435g2 | relationships | Wife cheated on me, I found out the other night. | My wife [24 F] had been distant for a long time, paying little attention to me and playing games online all day. I found this suspicious after a while, especially when I would say "I love you" and she wouldn't say it back.
Well I looked at her phone and found she had been texting and sending naked pictures to one of the guys from her online game. I immediately confronted her, and she essentially blamed me, even though I do everything I can to be a great husband.
I [26 M] work alot and also am a full-time college student, so she takes care of the kids while I work (from home). She didnt have sex with him, or actually meet him but I don't think that really matters.
Anyway I made a list of what I expect, essentially she needs to explain herself and end all other relationships. She responded with a letter saying that "she needs time". | Am I right to expect her to make a decision right now? Should I even give her a chance to make it right? |
t3_3orqtc | relationships | My [33M] girlfriend [26F] has become cold, distant, and says things don't feel the same... | I'll try and keep this fairly short. Girlfriend and I have been dating since January. Up until this last month, things have been going fairly smooth. We have our arguments, they get handled, and it's over and past.
About a month ago, she started becoming distant. Didn't call/text as much, or simply not responding to me for long (5+ hours) periods of time (you know, the "message seen at drill). Then the absences started.
Our situation is one in which by her choice, we really only get to see each other on the weekends (she and her son live with her parents about 30 minutes away while she goes to school). She has made it clear she doesn't want to move in until she finishes school because "school is closer to her parents house," (incidentally, she spends a great deal of time talking about how much her parents treat her like shit and how much she hates being there). She started coming up with reasons not to come spend the weekend with me (I'm doing security for X event this weekend, I'm going with my parents out of state, etc).
I went to see her five days ago, and told her that she needed to tell me what the hell was going on, and that I wouldn't chase her. She told me things don't "feel the same" and that she feels like I'm looking for other options. To date, I've seen her exactly one time in the last month by her reasons. I've been faithful in our relationship, I treat her like I would want to be treated, and I treat her son like he was my own.
So today is the day that if she doesn't have an answer, I'll have one for her. I just need someone unattached looking at this to make sure that I'm looking at things clearly. So any kind of questions/answers that might give me any insight I'm lacking would be appreciated. | Girlfriend has become distant, says things "don't feel the same, haven't seen her in nearly a month. What do? |
t3_4vosuv | relationships | I'm (21, M) in a friends with benefits relationship but a girl I've been really is telling me she's been into me this entire time. What do I do? | Okay so pretty much I've been really into this one girl...let's call her Haley. So Haley and I have been really good friends for like 2 and a half years or something like they, and I've always had a thing for her but just kinda buried it because I didnt want to risk messing up that really good friendship I mentioned. Fast forward to today, Im in a friends with benefits relationship with another girl we'll call Rachel. Rachel and I click like crazy lol we're pretty close outside the "benefits" part of our relationship and the only reason we've never been in an actual relationship is because she doesn't like to do them anymore and refuses. I don't want to hurt Rachel or ruin our friendship but I honestly can't deny that I want to give things with Haley at least a try, like not necessarily dating but just seeing each other to see where things go. I tend to make the wrong decision when it comes to stuff like this so that's why I have to ask for some third party advice/opinions. I know that Im not actually in a committed relationship with Rachel but I dont want to hurt her, like I said outside our "benefits" shes one of my best friends. | In a friends with benefits relationship with a best friend, but girl Ive been into for 2 years recently confessed she's into me. Wat do? |
t3_3a8rpi | tifu | TIFU by eating Mexican tacos | Hey guys,
I recently joined reddit. Best decision of my life. I've read a lot of TIFUs and always find them to be funny. I hope you guys enjoy this. It happened two weeks ago but I'm so stoned it seems like a good idea to share it.
Couple of weeks ago some good buddies and I decided to go on vacation to San Diego. We stayed a friends house who lives with her parents. Her mom is Mexican and her dad is German. Anyway, one day we're eating dinner and it's some Mexican tacos (her mom made them). They were delicious. Like f-ing hot damn. Real Mexican tacos. So like any normal person, I ate four tacos.
Next day comes and I'm going on my scheduled 6 mile run. My friend lives by some huge golf course. So I'm running on the sidewalk of the golf course and on my way back after hitting 3 miles, my stomach starts to hurt. I thought I could hold on to it. 'Every great Olympian must have to poop while run, it's no big deal' and I kept repeating that over and over again. Until I found a nice bush. I said f it and squatted down. It was the biggest piece of crap I've ever taken. However that wasn't the bad part. I used some leaves that I found to try and clean but the leaves kept getting stuck to my asshole. Stupid Mexican sour cream. But the worst part is yet to come. Remember how your parents told you to look both ways before crossing the street. Well it also applies to shitting. I stand up, feeling proud of a successful public poop, that when I turn around I see some people in a golf cart casually strolling and staring. Those mother f-ers took pictures of me pooping. Their faces were a mixture of disgust and pity. I turned, flipped them off, and finished my run. | successfully pooped outside and managed to gather a crowd |
t3_is1of | AskReddit | How do you avoid talking to Jehovah's Witnesses? | Once, when I was much much less intelligent, I made the mistake of sitting on my porch and chatting with what turned out to be a JW. Bitch already knew my name and everything. So every summer since, the same Witness rings my bell and asks for me. I just pretend I'm the sitter over the intercom. BUT SHE KEEPS COMING BACK. A few times I've asked her not to return and said I was not interested but that just makes her think I need salvation even more. She even urged me to read out loud a passage of the bible. It's getting tiresome. Next time she comes looking for me, I want to pull off one of the famous "they'll be scared off for good" stunts. But I don't wanna come out naked or with a shotgun, I want to say or do something that'll *really* get those suckers running for the hills. | I want JW's to leave me the fuck alone, how would you do it? |
t3_3a3or2 | relationships | Me [26 F] struggling to cope with myself after a breakup with my ex [29 M] of 3.5 years. | 3 weeks ago my boyfriend of 3.5 years broke up with me. His reasoning was that it had become mundane, the physical relationship barely existed and he simply just didn't want to try anymore. I had known for months that there were problems. We both ignored them, hoping that they'd go away I guess but I never expected him to just give up. There were a couple of conversations about the problems but nothing that ever indicated how serious he thought the issues were...though I suppose I did know even without him saying it outright.
Now that I have some distance from the relationship I'm realizing that there was more to it. I think the sex life dwindled because at some point I stopped feeling wanted for more then sex or even important to him. After I moved in with him half the time I barely felt like he wanted me around and he never did much to make me feel like it was our home - it was always his home and I just lived there. I bought a lot of stuff to try and make it homier and, in retrospect, possibly even to convince him or myself that I could make it a home or something. I'm in no way saying that he deserves all the blame, this is just my side of things.
Ultimately I'm just so frustrated and upset with myself for letting myself get into that position in a relationship for the second time in my life. For the second time there were warning signs - i didn't want to marry him, i didn't want sex, i didn't feel wanted for anything other then sex, i felt neglected and unimportant. It was all there but I justified it all by either telling myself it was in my head or blaming my birth control, my anxiety or my depression. I feel kind of lost right now and I'm not sure how I can ever trust myself to be in a relationship again. | Let myself be in a relationship for much longer then I should have because I ignored warning signs. |
t3_3xx4sr | tifu | TIFU by trying to do a U-turn at a roundabout | So its December 23rd here in New Zealand and as you can imagine its almost the worst possible time to do my Full Drivers Licence test but it was the only time that was available.
It's very busy on the roads and I am pretty stressed trying to do everything perfectly while naming hazards and what to do about them out loud. We come up to a 5 finger roundabout and the testing officer says "do a U-turn at the roundabout." and I'm sure everyone here reading this will say well that's simple all you have to do is drive all the way around the roundabout and exit where beside where you came in. I on the other hand had never heard anyone ever say do a U-turn at a roundabout, sure I knew drive all the way around or take the 5th exit. In my mind i was thinking what the hell, you can't just do a U-turn, your crazy that's not legal. But sure enough I was too nervous to think of another way around doing this move that didn't even exist. So I waited till it was all safe and started turning into the oncoming lane which was met with some screaming and moving the wheel by the testing officer before I realised what she meant by do a U-turn at the roundabout. Immediate Failure. As an added bonus I had to drive all the way back to the testing station thinking about how retarded I am. | Testing officer told me to do a U-turn at the roundabout and in a moment of retardation I tried to turn into the oncoming lanes and go back the way I came. |
t3_45iu2y | tifu | TIFU by sitting on the edge of a dock. | This happened years ago, in the summer. I was probably about eleven years old.
I was at my neighbors' house with my sister. My neighbors live by a lake, and they have a floating dock on the lake.
One day, the neighbors invited us to sit on the edge of the dock with them. Apparently, if we sat at the edge of the dock and wiggled our toes in the water, fish would come to nibble at our feet.
Now, the edge of the dock sits above the lake water, in dry air. However, with five of us sitting at the edge of the dock, our weights pushed the dock deeper into the water, and thus the bottom of the edge of the dock would also touch the water. Little did I know that spiders liked to live under the edge of the dock, exactly where I was sitting.
So after a long time of sitting and watching some fish come to our feet, I began to feel a tickling sensation on my legs. I looked at my legs and discovered some spiders had crawled on me to escape drowning under the sinking dock. But that wasn't the worst of it: When I stood up, I found that there were about 20 spiders in total crawling over me. I didn't scream, but kind of just stood there in shock as the neighbors got the 20 spiders off of me. | acted as an involuntary ladder for drowning spiders |
t3_2thcwt | relationships | Irreconcilable Conflict of Goals between me [28M] and my [24F] wife? She wants to move abroad and I don't. | Been together for 3.5 years, married for 1.5 years
We both currently live on the east coast of the US in a great city with lots of opportunities, rich in culture, etc:
She wants to relocate to Europe. Mostly because she loves the idea of a more leisurely work/life balance with more vacation days, and also because they're happier due to much comprehensive social programs (universal healthcare, better unemployment, old age care, housing, etc). She hates the idea of living her life in a workaholic cut-throat nation where you have no help if you lose your job, etc. The only thing keeping her here is me.
I don't want to relocate to Europe. I'm very happy here in this great place I've spent my life in. It doesn't take me long to start missing it whenever I've left town for a while. My family is here and I absolutely hate the idea of leaving them. I know they'd make awesome grandparents and I look forward to the idea of giving them grandkids who they could help raise. I have a great career path I'm pursuing. I'm very lucky to live in this place which is a world of its own with tons of offer. My wife loves it too, but now that she's become aware of Europe's way of life, she wants to move.
I recognize my wife's desires (I love traveling, as it happens) but the idea of moving away fills me with sadness. She recognizes my desires but she's sad at the idea of being stuck living her life in this seemingly misguided country where people can barely afford to retire, let alone get sick or anything else.
She and I have spoken about this, but I'm starting to worry that this can't be reconciled, which is making me very upset. Married people of reddit, can you offer any words of wisdom? | my wife wants to move to Europe where life is easier, but I don't want to leave my home. Can this be resolved? |
t3_1g2bix | relationship_advice | Are drunk words truly sober thoughts? | I had a class with this girl and she stole my phone and put her number in it two or three months ago. I caught her staring at me in class daily and talked to her on a daily basis up until summer (which has just started for us). We usually bitch at each other and exchange insults over text and things like that but a while (~month) ago I drunk texted her about how I like brown eyed brunettes (which she is) to which she positively replied to. Fast forward to Saturday and she basically does the same thing (drunk) except she not only says she likes my brand, she says "I grew on her" and that she likes me. The next day I texted her and she was back to her old bitchy self and she said that she was drunk but when I questioned what she drank, how she drank it, and why she would text me(we act like we hate each other), she just pulled the "I was drunk" card. when exchanging insults I said that what she said was corny and stupid and she got pretty pissed. I've hung out with her once but she has asked to hang out two other times (which I was busy). I will be honest I'm attracted to her, but I don't really know why. She is extremely bitchy, but with that being said, I can be a huge ass hole. Thank you for any feedback. I know this isn't put together that well and may be confusing but any advice would be much appreciated. I just want to know if I should take the shot or go for other girls. | A girl I said I was attracted,while drunk, drunk texted me saying she likes me, but then completely denies everything the next day, but gets offended when I say that what she said about me was stupid and corny |
t3_21fs9q | relationships | I (25/F) feel anxious because my boyfriend (25/M) works around pretty young things | We've been together for 6 months. Before that, he was a bit of a player, and a big party boy. He works at a university, as an assistant to a professor. So he kinda has authority because he teaches and helps professors in evaluations, but he's also the go-to person for students to ask questions about lessons and such. Since he has this close relationship with the students, he has many of them in Facebook, and since he's not a professor per se, he sometimes parties with them.
He says he wouldn't and has never hooked up with a student, because even though other assistants have done it or do it all the time, he thinks it's wrong. I believe him. But it makes me uncomfortable nonetheless that he has such a close relationship with the students, since many of them are young, hot girls.
Many of these girls, in an attempt to pass a course will sometimes flirt or downright offer sex to either the professor or his assistant. Many of these girls constantly flirt with my boyfriend. I know he's faithful and I trust him, but let's face it, it must be hard to resist.
I'm not hot and beautiful like many of these girls are. I don't know how to handle this. I know it may sound stupid and petty, and it is, but I don't know, it just makes me feel terrible sometimes. | My boyfriend (25/M) works as an assistant to a professor at university, and he has a close relationship with the students. Many of them are hot, young, flirty girls. This makes me (25/F) feel more than a little anxious and insecure. |
t3_cbj53 | AskReddit | Reddit, how do I get a job? | I am 20 years old and want a part-time job to have money in my pocket for gas money and concert tickets.
A year and a half ago I would laugh in my own face if I asked this question. Back then, it was a breeze finding the three jobs I had. Two of the jobs I got were thanks to the help of some friends, and the other I got by turning in an application. Two of those places went out of business and I quit the other job when I decided to take a break from work to shift focus on more units in school , so I am jobless.
Recently, after turning in countless applications to places that claim they are hiring-- I am left empty-handed. I still ask my friends to this day if their work is hiring but only get a giggle and "good luck" in return. I am fed up with filling out applications (specifically online applications; jesus christ those things are stupid) that fail to generate any sort of response.
I am even willing to be a dishwasher for a restaurant. At least from that job I would feel as if I am learning a valuable skill and being rewarded for some hard work. Hell, I would even be content with doing some volunteer work during the time I am looking for this job; I feel obligated to contribute somehow. | I am 20 and want a part time job. Do I just keep painfully filling out applications for places over and over? Keep bugging my friends about whether their job needs employees or not? Make a resume? Become a desert dweller and live by hunting small animals and hydrating myself with my own sweat? I feel stuck in life. |
t3_4nge7u | relationships | Me [18F] with my boyfriend [18M] of two years, I have baby fever even though I know I shouldn't be thinking about this. | I'm [18F] and should not have baby fever at the moment, but i do. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend [18M] for two years.
We're both graduated. I have two jobs, one of which is a summer job and the other is a full time job where I've recieved raises and a promotion. We will both be starting college and I cannot shake this feeling of wanting a baby.
My life goal does not include a career, I could be happy working whatever as long as I had my marriage, family and house.
I'm a talented artist who has maintained a 3.9 GPA since I can remember. My boyfriend doesn't share the same feelings with me but he does want a family down the road.
I honestly feel so impatient with this as I want to nurture. I want to have the responsibility of a mother. I want to look after, feed, and care for my son or daughter. I shouldn't have these feelings but I can't shake them. What do I do? | How do I go about this craving of having babies? I'm young but I think I manage. Help please. |
t3_2ypbzn | relationship_advice | GF [28F] told me [32M] that she would have slept with a guy if he had made a move. Is this cheating? | *I prefer serious replies please.
This is my first post on Reddit ever, having lurched for years. I want as much advice on this as possible, hence the account creation and post.
RELATIONSHIP DETAILS: We've been together for 5 years, living together for most of those.
CIRCUMSTANCE: She is out of town on a school related vacation, and staying with classmates at a hotel. A girl and guy are sharing the room (guy on one bed, girls on the other).
EVENT: They all get drunk one night, and the guy says she can sleep in the bed next to him so she can be more comfortable (the other girl snored). She agrees, and does. She gets out of the bed after an hour, and sleeps in the bathtub.
MY DILEMMA: She says nothing happened, but she would have let the guy sleep with her if he made the right move. He didn't make a move though. My brain is leaning toward this still being cheating, but I'm not sure, and could really use some advice. If she had slept with him, there's no dilemma, it's cheating, and therefore, we're done. This circumstance is in that tricky gray moral area though, and I'm struggling. Thoughts? | GF sleeps in bed next to stranger, nothing happens, but she would have let him bang her. Cheating still? |
t3_2flkmx | relationships | Me [20 M/], met a girl[21 F], i'm freaking out of control! | A couple of years ago I met this girl where I was working at that time. She instantly had my attention, just from seeing her. You probably know that feeling where you really can't put words to your feelings about him/her. Well, that was how I felt.
Today, few years later, I am not working the same place; I kinda 'forgot' her, got a girlfriend(and recently broke up again). But I met this girl again a night I was out with the guys. She freaking blew my mind, by personality mostly, but also by looks. We spend most of the night just talking and everything I seemed to have been looking for in a girl was right there in front of me(this was a few weeks before I broke up with my girlfriend). Today I met her again, about two months later, and I'm right back at it; same mind-blowing experience just talking to her for a short minute. And can't contain myself and don't know what to do.
Though I'm positive that I NEED to write her, I'm almost scared to death that she'll reject me instantly(seen her talk to another guy or two) and demolish me emotionally. But she's just freaking..
can't even put words to it.. I almost feel obsessed and out of self-control. So should I write her(we're friends om facebook) or am I rushing into this? | Met mind-blowing girl, don't know what to do' |
t3_31nelm | relationships | How to be with someone who hates themselves | I (24)f have been with my fiancé (24)m for almost 8 years. Lately things have been difficult because he hates himself and has low self esteem and it has been negatively effecting our relationship.
In the last year he has become very mean, does not want physical intimacy (sex, making out, or touching in any sexual way, etc.). We have a child together as well and he doesn't have much patience for them. He's not a bad dad, he just doesn't handle the negative thoughts of parenthood well, such as tantrums and not listening.
I really try to be there for him and tell him all the time how important and appreciated he is and how attractive I find him. He went to a therapist for about 2 months and then stopped going saying it didn't do anything.
I don't like seeing him feel this way about himself and I don't want to leave him, especially because of our child and because despite all I love him. But I do not feel like his significant other, I feel like a roommate. He does not make me feel wanted at all, no compliments, no effort in our relationship, and he pretty much refuses to touch me. I have to beg to get a peck on the lips or a hug. He never used to be this way, although he always had self esteem issues.
I just don't know how much longer I can take the anger and lack of everything that would be considered a perk in a relationship. | fiancés lack of self esteem is negatively affecting our relationship |
t3_1iw0br | self | Sometimes it's okay to be angry | Just got some bad news at work, I was getting ready for a promotion/transfer to another department where I'd be taking on new responsibilities, new challenges, and I'd get to move home to be with my wife. This flew in the face of my current boss, and after some back room politics he was able to kill this opportunity for me with words that "it's just business" and "nothing personal".
In short, it's okay to feel anger about these things. It's how you deal with that anger. I'm going to let this be a lesson to myself, as well, to make this the motivational kick in the pants to get another job and be with my family.
I could feel defeated about these things, and there's a part of me that wants to. But it wouldn't change what happened, and I'll just rot on the vine of personal development if I did.
When life throws an obstacle at you, persevere. When something makes you upset, it's okay to feel upset, but don't let it consume it. Instead use it as the fuel you need to overcome. Be a better you.
That's it. Just had to get that off my chest. | Life takes effort, give it all you got. |
t3_3d3iyx | tifu | TIFU by meeting up a girl I met online for sex | So this wasn't today, but about 2 years ago, during the start of my fall semester freshman year. I used the website "meetme" to meet a decent amount of girls at the time, mostly for the purpose of sexual things. This one girl I was talking to sounded like a real freak because she was down for anything. Due to a self admitted premature ejaculation problem of mine, I decided it would be a good idea to take some shrooms, to make myself last longer and make things a lot more interesting. I told her I'd drive on over and we'd go in her house and naughty times would ensue.
So as I drive into the neighbourhood I see a yellow traffic sign that says "caution Autistic child". That struck me as peculiar, because I had never seen that as a caution sign, like you see the "deaf child" or "blind person" signs, but I press on.
So I arrive at her house, and ask for her to come out, and immediately I realize she is not normal. She clearly had trouble communicating, and lacked displaying of emotion like a would expect given the circumstances. It was at this point I put 2 and 2 together and realized she was autistic and the sign was regarding her. To make matters worse, she introduced me to her brother, who was obviously normal and my age, shortly after this realization. I made some quick small talk, but felt like a piece of shit. Then her parents come out and start to question me, asking "Where did you meet my daughter" and "What do you guys plan to do?", and I felt really horrible, and it was at this point I really start to feel the shrooms kicking in, and an extremely awkward tension builds in. I excuse myself, give the girl a quick hug goodbye, without really explaining myself to her family, and take off. | Met girl online for a quickie, she turned out to be autistic, and I ended up meeting her family while coming up on shrooms. |
t3_38269k | relationships | My girlfriend(f25) told me(m25) that she slept with someone else when we first started dating but we had a scheduled meeting which she cancelled because of that.. How to take it/what next? | Firstly, english isn't my primary language so I might not write correctly but hopefully the meaning of what I write comes through.
This was in the start when we weren't exclusive but had dated for over a month and were kinda serious. We had decided to meet up after she had been to a dinner party with her friends and some other people, she then texted me saying she would stay there and we wouldn't meet up that night. I thought fine, she wants to spend some time with her friends which she hadn't seen in a while, no problem.
Now, almost a year later she tells me she actually slept with someone else she met during that dinnerparty.
To summarize, I don't have a problem with her sleeping with other people when we weren't exclusive. I DO have a problem with her cancelling on something we had decided to sleep with someone else. Which means she valued to sleep with that guy over sleeping with me. And she hadn't told me until now, which means she knew it was wrong and she has repeatedly said that she felt bad for being a dochebag that night (I have always brushed it off since it was just her being with some friends she hadn't seen in a while).
What do you think of that? Am I overreacting for thinking about ending things over this? | before we were exclusive gf cancelled our plans to fuck someone else |
t3_vt2hk | relationships | Boyfriend is angry at me all the time lately... | SO and I are 25, together 1.5 years, living together for 1.
In the last few months the romance has died, he seems less interested in sex and he is angry all the time at me. I try to talk to him about it but he says he is tired and I worry too much.
I guess what promoted this post is I'm getting a bit fed up. I slept on the couch last night because after not seeing him for 2 days he wouldnt give me a hug when I asked him for one. My feelings were hurt, so I tried to talk to him but he yelled at me to go away and that I was annoying. After a crappy nights sleep I get a message at work saying "for the 30th time stop eating the cookies my mum brought us, and for the 30th time stop leaving things on" *I forgot to turn off the coffee maker (no heat though) before I left for work* and I'm sorry but your mum brough US cookies, sorry if I had a few. Maybe I'm reading too much into this message because I'm very tired but it just pissed me off.
I do all the cooking, cleaning, groceries, laundry, etc... and I'm not perfect, ontop of all the chores I work full-time and do my masters part-time.. sometimes I'm going to forget to turn off the damn coffee maker and I fell like that shouldn't be a big deal.
This is starting to sound more like a rant than a question but I don't understand how someone can go from being sweet and thoughtful to getting angry about everything little thing over the span of a few months. Any thoughts on what might cause such a turn? | SO who was previously wonderful is now getting angry at me for every little thing, essentially making me feel like shit. Unsure on how to address it. |
t3_40tnwy | tifu | TIFU by giving a homeless person £20 | On a night out, I got absolutely smashed and lost my mates. Some homeless guy asked me whether I had any money. As I only had change, I thought that I would give him £20, like a nice human. Trouble was that I had to get it out of a ATM. I told I would be back in a minute but he followed me to the ATM. I didn't think anything of it until when I turned around to give him the money, another homeless guy took my card and they both scattered. Turns out the homeless guy #1 looked at my pin from behind me and they consequently proceeded to take £300 from my account (a lot to a student.) Makes you really wonder why you do nice shit for people. | Got drunk and two homeless guys stole £300 from my bank account |
t3_i5sfc | AskReddit | Fuck Burglars. | Hey Reddit,
I need help! Or more specifically, some friends of mine need help!
My friends' house was broken into on the 20th of June; computers, electronics, jewelry, assorted other things were stolen.
This is the second burglary in the last 6 months! The first time only the TV was stolen. Additional security measures (new doors + locks) were taken to help prevent another smash and grab, but it appears they weren't enough.
Well at this point, the real problem begins.
A laptop was stolen this time (as well as two desktops), a decent Toshiba Qosmio X505-Q885. On this laptop was around 1.5 years of graduate school work. Now at this point, someone typically chimes in about backing up important work. Well, their hard drive backup was stolen too. The important files are too large (images) to have ever been emailed, so there's no imap repository of them anywhere, nor any cloud storage used, as the connection at their house is less than awesome. Also the school doesn't have any paper-based archival of these documents.
A police report has been filed, they still have the original packaging for the computer (the important one at least) with the serial number. The laptop didn't have any lojack software active on it (and if it didn't come from the manufacturer, it didn't have any on it).
Apparently the thief didn't take the power adapter, though. Not that that's terribly hard to circumvent, but still, that's something.
They're going to make a sweep of the nearby 70 or so pawn shops. We're regularly monitoring ebay and craigslist, in the hopes that it can be found. I've recommended that they contact their network administrator at their university to flag the laptop's macs and see they can check if it turns up on the network again.
Is there anything else that can be done? Any other avenues that are being overlooked? A reward for the return of the hard drive, maybe? | Friend's laptop was stolen with important grad school data, wat do? |
t3_qll2e | relationships | How to deal with this friction in a relationship? | I'm 19, and she is too, and have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 2 months today. We're quite a close couple, I feel very comfortable with her as she tells me she does with me and I trust her absolutely.
Lately we've been having a lot of friction between us, yesterday a petty argument started by her over kissing in public. She told me when I apologised about it that I'm a "drama queen" and to forget about it.
This morning I texted her a mid length text just saying happy two months and stuff to which she replies "you're cute, yeah its been good"
I'm just really confused and not sure how I'm meant to deal with this? I know if I talk about it it's only gonna make the friction worse and possibly wreck the relationship, but it's hard just pretending nothing happened and going on like normal - she clearly doesn't feel like nothing happened even though she's asking me to act like it.
To give a background on why I may or may not seem a bit paranoid about all this, I was lied to, used and cheated on for 4 months in my last relationship, so a little unstable when the possibility of a breakup occurs. I really love this girl and I don't want to break up with her, but whatever. | girlfriend seemingly less caring than before, feel like she's beginning to get sick of me |
t3_y44ag | relationships | I [18f] am in love with a someone [20m] ... but there's a catch. Should I tell him how I really feel anyway? | Again, F18 & M20, friends for 6-7 months.
I met a guy back in February and we became super close instantly. texting constantly, talking on the phone frequently, we flirt all the time, etc etc. However, he lives on the other side of the country and I won't be there again till next fall (for college, I have been there before though). After talking to him all the time and getting to know him, I honestly can say I've developed feelings. I know he feels something because he's always telling me how he finds me attractive, how he wishes I was there, how he wants us to be physically close. He's told me before he would want to date me... if I was closer.
Is telling him how I feel worth it considering he will probably reject the idea of a relationship? I feel like I'm about to explode with emotions. | fell in love with a guy I'm very close to, don't know if I should tell him. |
t3_20czcs | relationships | He [25M] took up dancing before me met to meet girls. Am I [20F] out of line to express the fact that it makes me feel uncomfortable that he still attends classes? | Before we met about a year ago, my boyfriend had just entered the dating world. He started pretty strong, considering he was very introverted before and spent the most of his young adult life in the library - in the span of a few months, he dated over 14 different women. His approach to dating was methodical. It had a lot to do with statistics.
One thing he did to increase his chances of meeting women was sign up for swing dancing classes. He would usually go every wednesday, but since we're together he goes much less often. Still, it makes me feel a little uneasy. I've seen conversations he's had with friends (who also attend the classes to meet women) where he talks about how attractive some of the girls are (I happened upon these messaged on accident). Clearly I'm a little insecure (aren't we all), but would I be out of line to bring this up? I feel like it would just sound like me forbidding him from doing something he likes just because pretty girls are involved. I would ask to go with him, but I am disabled and can barely walk. | My boyfriend started swing dancing before we met, for the purpose of meeting women. He still attends classes, which makes me feel uneasy. Would I be out of line to express my concern/tell him I would prefer it if he didn't go? |
t3_zf528 | dating_advice | 19/M long-distance flirting with 18/F. Is she into me? | So I met this awesome girl (let's call her Sarah) over summer and we hit it off pretty well, but there's just one problem: she lives about 4,800 miles away. There's a chance she'll move back to my country permanently at some point soon though, so there's still hope.
We've been in pretty much permanent contact ever since she flew home, and there's been a lot of obvious flirting. I often joke about how great her boobs are, and she likes to send me photos of herself before she goes on a night out. The most recent photo she sent was of herself in a provocative pose whilst sunbathing, and when she sent it she said, "How's this for a spank bank pic? ;)" Does this sort of behaviour mean anything?
Also, another twist. Her best friend (whom I also talk to, I'll call her Natasha) keeps teasing me saying that I'm falling for this girl. I hardly ever talk to Natasha about Sarah, so don't understand why she'd suspect that. Is it possible that Sarah has asked her to make these comments to gauge my interest in her?
Any advice appreciated - I'm just trying to work out if the flirting, photos, and teasing from her best friend mean anything or not. Is she into me? | clicked well and flirting with girl who currently lives far away but might come back. Any point waiting or is she not into me? |
t3_4hsh5x | relationships | I've [21M] been sick for a long time and my partner [21M] has been supportive. How can I thank him? | Throw away because I don't want this attached to my regular account.
Sorry if the formatting is gross as well, I'm posting from mobile.
So we've been together for a year and a half. He moved in around the one month mark due to an unsafe family environment.
I have always struggled with depression and anxiety and have been seeking counselling and treatment for a few years. A family tragedy happened around halfway through last year, and it completely derailed my mental health and recovery.
I had to change my meds because I was not coping, and it ended up having huge side effects. For the last 8 months I've been suffering insomnia, stomach distress and a whole range of other stuff.
I thought it was just rough adjusting to the meds and it would get better but it didn't. After 8 months or so I've put my foot down and stopped. With doctor supervision I've weaned off them, however I'm 10 days out from my last dose and suffering side effects and am non functioning when sick.
This whole time, my partner has been amazing. He comforts me and holds me when I'm distress, doesn't blame me when I can't sleep and doesn't get angry if I wake him by being up and down all night. He's so kind hearted and patient and supports me so much.
How on earth can I even begin to thank him? I've never been this unwell for this long, and it's terrifying. I haven't been able to do anything, nor be the partner I want to be to him.
What sort of things could I do to let him know how much this means? How can I step up and be an amazing partner even when suffering from the debilitating side effects?
I don't want him to think I'm taking him for granted. I'm just so unwell most of the time that I can't express how much I care with any thing more than words and cuddles.
Thanks in advance everyone. | Been sick upwards of 8 months and am not sure when I'll be well again. How can I be a better partner through this to my patient boyfriend, and let him know I appreciate him? |
t3_khsb4 | AskReddit | Looking for legal advice re: domestic partnership | So here's the deal: I live with a wonderful woman (I'm male, btw). We are not romantically engaged, but do have an amazing friendship. We have commented multiple times that we plan on living together for the long-term foreseeable future.
However, I am widowed, and she has a crippling fear of commitment, and neither of us is ever going to get married (again, in my case). Or at least we aren't even considering the idea.
Since we are not in a romantic relationship, but we do cohabitate - and have for a while, and will for quite some time - are we still eligible for a domestic partnership? My state does not have common law marriages(Tennessee), and we'd each want to protect our own property and interests anyway. But I would really like for her to be able to share my medical insurance, have power of attorney for me if I'm in the hospital or whatnot, and be able to receive my death benefits should something really bad happen.
Like any good citizen of the internet, I asked Google first, and read every Wikipedia article I could find. I also searched r/askreddit, but only found 3 questions, and none of them really helped. So, lawyers (and armchair lawyers) of Reddit, ideas? | Long-term cohabitation with opposite-sex housemate, never getting married, will a domestic partnership let me give her my insurance benefits, etc? |
t3_35rord | tifu | TIFU by opening /r/ass instead of /r/AskReddit. | This actually happened about 2 hours ago, I then remembered this place.
Also, before you ask, no, I don't browse /r/ass.
So this happened in class today, I'm taking English Finals, and the teacher was going over something I'd already learned from staying late one day. So my teacher, who is a redditor, lets me browse reddit on my laptop if I want.
My plan was to go to /r/AskReddit, but I usually don't type in the whole URL, because when I type in "www.reddit.com/r/As", that's all I usually have to type in because /r/AskReddit is always at the top of my history list and I can just hit enter.
Well I apparently held down "s" for too long, then not paying attention hit enter.
So now /r/ass was opened, in full view of the two rows of people behind me. Now my laptop screen is pretty big, so you could see these pictures pretty easily, even from a short distance back. A couple people are holding in laughter, and my teacher gives me the "What did you do?" look.
Then some dipshit in the back decides to say "He's browsing /r/ass!" Not loud.
Just loud enough for my teacher, who is three rows away, to hear it.
So I just kinda lie my head down like I'm play Heads up Seven up or something.
I have to talk to my teacher tomorrow morning, I'll update then if you guys want. | Tried to open /r/AskReddit, but held "s" down for too long, /r/ass opened and my whole class thought I browsed it regularly. |
t3_3tlnyf | relationship_advice | I [24F] slept with someone other than my FWB [25M] and now I feel like I cheated. | I met my FWB on Tinder a little over a month ago. I say FWB because I don't know what else to call him. We stay at each others places once or twice a week. Normally have sex but sometimes just enjoy each others company. We've told each other we like each other but he is about to finish med school and start his residency in a few months most likely out of state and can't really focus on a relationship right now which I fully understand and am not sure I want one either, but I have to say I do feel attached. I've never been so sexually satisfied by someone. Not to mention we get along great and have stayed up all night talking more than a few times.
Anyway earlier this week I agreed to a date with a male friend who is in a polyamorus relationship and we ended up having a few drinks and taking another male friend home with us and having sex. We wore protection and I was no where near as turned on by the experience as I am with my FWB.
Anyway I can't help but feel that I cheated. Despite us never making anything exclusive.
Should I come clean to my FWB or just get past it? | I like my FWB, we are not expressly exclusive. I hooked up with other people and now I feel bad. Do u tell him? |
t3_gsbsm | AskReddit | I value looks WAY too much in my love life. How can I stop this? | Hi. I'm a single guy in his thirties. My most recent major relationship was a live-in LTR with a woman who was exactly my type. That ended a couple of years ago.
I'm not a bad-looking gent, but no tiger-blooded adonis, either. She was certainly out of my league. Since dating her, I've found that looks have become almost comically important when I'm making a decision on whether or not to pursue someone romantically. Obviously, attraction IS a legit factor, but this is too much.
At my age, all my male friends are married. It's hard not to be a little jealous. However, most of their wives (who are *awesome* and wonderful pals of mine also) are not fashion-forward hipster waifettes, and thus would totally not ping my radar if they were single and looking right now. Durr.
So, it stands to reason that there are lots of potentially awesome mates out there that I'm ignoring in lieu of the largely untouchable and often shallow babes I am so steadfastly dedicated to pursuing. | How can I stop being such a shallow dickface and relax my impossible physical standards enough to actually find the woman of my dreams? I'm going nuts here. |
t3_1nb7v4 | self | Reddit army unite!**Help** Me Get a Date with Miley Cyrus! I'm serious here guys!! | Okay so this is the first time I've asked Reddit for help like this, but I recently got broken up with in the rudest manner and I think think this could work. I want to go on a date with Miley Cyrus. I want you to help me! .How do could you help? Well I made that easy!
The other day I got extremely drunk, made a cover of "Wreckin Ball" and posted it to youtube.
Here is the link
It would be really cool if you guys could help me get her attention.
My twitter is @petes_tweets_5 .. i started using the hastag #MileyLovesPete .. so maybe that will help?
Any suggestions are welcome .
If this works I will be one happy man | I got broken up with. Got day drunk by myself and made a wrecking ball video. I want you to help me take miley on a date. Spam her twitter, instagram, facebook what ever ideas you have!!! |
t3_2f9pdj | relationships | I'm [21/M] in love with my girlfriend [20/F] who I've known for about three months, but it doesn't look like we're on the same page. | For my girlfriend, this is her first major relationship. I've been around the block and have had my share of loose non-commital relationships as well as steady relationships; and now I'm at the tail end of my degree and want a serious relationship. Which is what I was under the impression this was, but my girlfriend has been having doubts about whether she was making the right decision.
I do know that she loves me. But, there are religious and familial issues that may make it an issue for us to take this relationship the distance, but she seems very vary of them right now.
I feel like it would be in my best interests to either disengage myself in the way I am from the relationship, and reduce my expectations of it dramatically, or to break it off.
Either make me very unhappy, but I am uncertain how else to frame this, and feel like I am making a big deal out of just thoughts.
I would love some input or reflection, any input would be greatly appreciated. | Relationship challenged 21 year old fell in love with a virgin. |
t3_423mbw | relationships | Me [20M] with my girlfriend[20F] of 2.5 years, I kinda get upset/worried when she goes to bars with her friends | * | Why do I get bothered when my GF goes out? |
t3_34l5nj | tifu | TIFU by spilling my gf's "limited edition" glitter nail polish all over her bed and carpet. | So this happened about 10 minutes ago and I still feel like shit. Was studying for my psychology exam in my girlfriends room at her desk and my gf was on her bed painting her nails. She goes "wow my nails actually look amazing" so I pop up to look at them and when I get over to the bed I reach to put my hand on the bed post and end up falcon punching the fucking glitter nail polish off, not knowing it was laying right there. Chaos ensues and i'm on my hands and knees spraying hairspray into the carpet trying to get this shit out while my gf ends up ruining her nails trying to help. On top of that the nail polish made its way onto her nice down-feather comforter so I probably ruined that too. And her nail polish is about gone now... All I wanted to do was compliment her nails and get back to studying and now I will have glitter on me for the next week. | wanted to compliment glitter polish, got nailed |
t3_r9uze | AskReddit | When has flipping someone off turned out for the bad because the other person was crazy? Or any other small thing that pissed someone off. | Driving home from work yesterday and i was turning and a minivan cut me off so i naturally flipped him off and the dude (old dude like 60's probably) followed me all the way to my house. I got out of the car and his exact quote was "You know flipping people off is illegal, i'm calling the police." This is basically when i lost it since he followed me and flipped him off more and called him a fucking retard and go ahead call the cops and he decides to get out of his car. I wasn't about to fight an old man so i just went inside my house got my gun and locked the door. | Crazy old man tried to beat me up after flipping him off |
t3_2ehxb4 | relationships | I [18 M] have problems with girlfriends [19 F] weight 3 years | This great chick I've been seeing for almost three years went from being what I consider perfectly curvy/chubby to a bit short of fat. It's caused a lot of problems in our relationship and in most cases I haven't dealt with it properly and maturely.
I've done everything from lightly suggesting/implying I'd like her to lose weight to literally telling her I'm becoming unnatracted to her (which was wrong I know, but it just hurts when the person I thought looked the best ever is moving away from that) and she's just gotten bigger.
Today I just told her I'm happy with who she is, that I love her, and her body and I'm happy with where she's at, it prompted a bit of an awkward situation but it seemed things were good after that. I just wanted her to feel happy and confident and I figured it could help with her exercising (if she still does it, I'm not sure).
So what should I do here? I feel like I'm in a shitty dilemma, I'm still attracted to her sexually but looking back on older pictures drives me totally mad and just makes me want it so much more, I feel I should ask and try to help her lose the weight before she gets even larger. But I can't say anything without hurting her.
But on the other hand I want her to be happy and confident with herself, she lacks heavily in confidence and I feel I've attributed a lot to this.
So what should I go with here? | Girlfriend has put on weight (I don't like), i have to either ask her and hurt her or leave it alone and keep her happy and confident with herself. |
t3_3mfnkf | tifu | TIFU by just trying to help out. | I used to work as an equipment operator in construction.
I had a lull in my duties and some of the guys on the lot next to where I was working were struggling to get their concrete forms finished in time for their delivery.
I asked if I could help out and they asked me to fire up their gas powered chop saw and cut up some lengths of rebar for them.
I got set up, fired up my saw and went to it. After about 2 minutes one of the guys looked over at the growing pile of cut rebar and remarked: "u/canntstopmeow, you're on fire!"
I gave the guy a knowing grin, nodded at him enthusiastically and went back to cutting.
"No," he shouted, "YOU'RE ON FIRE!!"
I then looked down at my pants (rain gear actually) and they were indeed on fire. My right pantleg was burning from the sparks that the saw was throwing because I was standing directly behind the saw, not off to the side. | Thought I was getting a compliment for doing a good job, was actually on fire. |
t3_rcpn9 | AskReddit | Reddit, I have very painful back problem and need some help .. | My name is Matt and I'm 16 years old.
A few months ago I developed a lower back pain out of the 'blue' and I do not know what caused it. It is on my very lower back area, on the left side. Every time I move at all, it feels like someone is driving a knife into my back and it is an extremely sharp pain. I can move my right leg freely without pain, but my left leg, every time I move it or put pressure on it (i.e, standing on it, walking on it, etc.) It has that sharp pain.
I've been to the doctor's office a couple of times, he keeps telling me to go for X-Rays and I have been, so far nothing has come up and he just continues to tell me to get X-Rays and take TYLENOL, which don't work the slightest bit. The doctor around here is no help.
Basically, | Extremely painful lower back pain on the left side, feels like a knife is being driven into my lower back whenever I move my left leg or put pressure on it. |
t3_2epwx7 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my SO [21 F] and her best friend | My girlfriend told me that if she was single she would sleep with her best guy friend, but that they respect each others relationships. I've met him, and he is a really nice guy, but it just bugs me thinking that she said she would still sleep with him if she was single. I'm not sure why. Should I worry? | My girlfriend told me that if she was single she would sleep with her best guy friend, but that they respect each others relationships. |
t3_2quagp | relationships | Me (20m) and my girlfriends (f19) new gay friend (m26) hate each other. | Me and my girlfriend went to the club with her friend Maisy and Maisys new boyfriend and while we was there 2 of his friends met up with us. Everyone was talking and laughing and i felt awkward because i'm shy around new people and they didn't talk to me so i played on my phone. Maisy and her boyfriend went to dance and Jake asked my girlfriend to dance with him so me and the other friend were left at the table. It was an awkward silence so i went to find my girlfriend and she and Jake were dirty dancing and he was touching her ass. I told him that she was my girlfriend and to stop but he told me he it's ok because he's gay and to sit back down and my girlfriend assured me that he is gay.
We all went back to Maisys boyfriends house afterwards and Jake kept teasing my girlfriend and play fighting with her and said he could tell she likes to be dominated and was rude to me too and kept making comments. They put a movie on and when i came back from the toilet Jake had his legs up so i had to sit on the floor and during the movie he was hugging her and he had his hands up her top and i think he was only doing it to annoy me because he pulled a face and smiled when i looked at him.
We was invited back to Maisys boyfriends house for new years eve and Jake said there's no point in me coming because i don't talk. When we left i told my girlfriend i hate him and i don't like it when he touches her but she said there's nothing wrong with it because he's gay and she said she doesn't want to miss out on making some new friends and that when i relax a bit they will like me too. I don't want to see him again and don't want my girlfriend to see him again how can i convince her that he is bad news?. | My girlfriends new gay friend is rude, puts me down and made comments to me and my girlfriend. He touches her because he knows it annoys me. I don't like my girlfriend being friends with him. |