TurtleLiu/counselbot_for_mistral huggingface dataset:
My fiancé cheated. How can we mend our relationship? 
  I'm sorry for the stress and unhappiness stemming the problem you describe.Trust your instinct that there is more complexity to feeling good about being in a partnership than simply wanting this to happen.In any relationship, the complexities of each person combine.  Often people accept when this feels good and are lost as to what to do when natural human complexity, doesn't match up with our partner in the way we'd like.A couples' therapist would be able to help each of you talk about the factors motivating the cheating, as well as clarify the reasons you each have for continuing to stay together.The unique advantage of couple's therapy is that each person is able to hear their partner talk out loud about themselves and their partner.This is sometimes enormously helpful since our inner thoughts are often hidden yet very dominant in how we direct ourselves in relationships.Sometimes the initial consult session offers enough new understanding that a second session wouldn't be necessary for a while.Good luck in finding your relationship happiness!
Am I going to be alone forever? 
  I can relate! When things are going badly, I feel like my life hasalways been and will always be that way. (But I also do this when things aregoing well. That is, I forget how good things can turn bad. Personally, toavoid this emotional roller-coaster, I try and heed the famous advice by authorand feminist Rita Mae Brown: "One of the keys to happiness is a badmemory."So maybe this weakness of your for forgetting is really astrength! It sounds a lot like living in the moment to me. And while its hardto manage my past and my future, the moment seems like a small enough piece oftemporal real estate to sort out. So thats the what of my answer. The howgoes like this: Choose one from column A, two from column B, and three fromcolumn C in the following chart. Then try doing them for as long as you can.Then see what happens.A B CGratitude Forgiveness AppreciationExpectations Meditation ExerciseBitterness Distraction VolunteeringResentment Substances WorryRegret Possessions PessimismShame Desire SuperstitionRage Isolation WishingSelf-loathing Criticism WithholdingIf you feel as though what youthink and believe are out of your control, or that your values were imposed onyou, or that nothing good will ever happen again, then we will have torespectfully disagree. Youve ask a very deep and insightful question, provingthat your hope has gotten you this far. Hang onto that hope because Im anexample of things working out despite my previous way of looking at my life.Instead of convincingyourself that youre okay when youre not, how about calling it acceptingyourself as okay just the way you are, without judging your okayness. Youprobably have high standards (perfectionism?) and thats a thing to talk with acounselor about. The opposite of perfect is not horrible. Its called goodenough.Blocking out the bad things andforgetting is as natural as eating and sleeping. All the other mammals do it(except when it comes to life-threatening bad things) so why shouldnt we? Thismight be called optimism.Feeling alone and uncared foris a worse feeling than being despised. This is good! This means (I suppose)that you dont despise yourself as much as you just dont care for you (becausewe can often project our own self-beliefs onto others). This is an abstractconcept that will take some time to get used to. But I have a suspicion that,with just a little more self-care, and a little more caring for others, youmight be better off very soon.
Am I somehow stressing myself out? 
  I think you have identified something important here. It's not unusual to experience feelings that don't seem to match up with what your rational mind recognizes.In this case, it sounds like a part of you recognizes that the people around you do not find you "annoying and bothersome." Despite knowing that people like you, it seems that there's still a part of you that feels like you're a bother.Finding a local counselor who can work with you to process those feelings might be just the help you need.
Why am I dreaming so much? 
  As a depth therapist (aka "psychodynamic practitioner"), I do a lot of dream work with clients; and they gain great insights from our explorations.We remember dreams, I believe, because dreams are messages (always in code) from the unconscious, communicating the crux of unresolved conflict between who we are and who we think we are supposed to be. You might be remembering so many dreams because your conscious mind is ready to hear these messages...and make some internal changes in response.Write them down! You'll be glad you did. A broad cross-section of these these messages will help your therapist help you interpret the meanings of these communications from you to you, and possibly chart your best path forward toward to resolve the cause of psychological symptoms you might be experiencing.
Am I going to be alone forever? 
  I'm glad you're aware of how you honestly feel. Knowing one's personal truth is always the first step in finding what is necessary to be and develop.Reflect a little more on the type of care you'd like in your life."Care" means anything from checking in on someone to deep, intimate connection between two people.Knowing your own definition of "care" is the first step to know what is necessary for you to recognize what you'd like attracting.It is much easier to attract what we'd like if we are clear on what this is.
Why am I dreaming so much? 
  Dreams are our chance to make sense of our waking lives.If you've got a lot going on in your life then your dreams are your assistants in understanding these happenings and dynamics.
My ex left without fully explaining but I feel broken and empty 
  since you realize your sense of trust was broken, withdrawing from close relationships, makes sense.This may be your Self giving you natural time to recuperate from emotional pain.Also it is your chance to think over how to handle yourself differently in future relationships.Maybe this process requires more time than you'd like.Having patience is very difficult when a person feels hurt.A therapist of your own may be a good idea so you have someone for guidance and to chart your progress w you.This may feel less lonely and help you tolerate the waiting period till you're better
My husband and I are separated. I'm so scared of getting divorced 
  Major change frightens almost everybody.Don't be so afraid of your fear that you let yourself beg and are willing to accept unhappiness as a standard in your marriage.If you start considering that life can be better than what is current for you now, new possibilities and ideas will start developing in your mind.Consider finding a therapist so that you have private space to talk in detail about your fears and the new ways of seeing your Self.A therapy relationship, since it is safe and supportive, will be a good balance to having been abused, suffered, and unhappy.
I am bipolar and have been absolutely angry for over the last year at my daughter 
  Was either parent abusive or violent toward you?You sound to have suffered emotionally in your relationships since early in life.One point to consider is to strive for moderation in what you offer in relationships.A lot of what you've lived through is extreme, either as victim or perpetrator.If you imagine that apologizing to the custodian for the way spoke to him, would calm him down, do so.At the very least, you'll be actively resolving your guilt over cussing at him, and fear of his retaliation.
I hardly eat. But I gain weight instead of lose weight. Why? 
  First step always is to have a medical evaluation so you are aware of any physiological conditions which may explain an answer to your question.If medically, there is no condition to explain why you gain weight instead of losing weight, even though you "hardly eat", then start noticing the types of food you eat.Almost all packaged foods sold in supermarkets and cooked by fast food places and shopping mall restaurants, are processed to have a long shelf life and are artificially colored and have flavors added to them.With the natural taste and texture gone, it is very easy to eat a lot more calories than your body needs, before feeling full.The extra calories become extra weight eventually.Also, it is possible that even with the most natural food choices, if there is a psychological reason for eating, such as stress or anxiety, then someone may not notice they are eating more food than their body needs.Sending good wishes on playing around with these ideas and finding an answer with which you're happy!
My fiancé cheated. How can we mend our relationship? 
  What Makes Love Last? how to build trust and avoid betrayal by John Gottman is a great book for you both to start reading. You may also want to invest some time and energy in couples therapy. It sounds like there is a lack of trust in your relationship, likely a hangover from your beginnings, that would be helpful for you both to work through to truly be able to forgive and move forward.
Why do I feel like I need a man in my life? 
  What a wonderful question!Good for you on clearly knowing your priorities.If I was sitting with you now, I'd ask you to list your reasons.Start with whatever answers you do come up with and examine each of these a little further.If, for example, you feel you need a man because many of your friends are in relationships, then possibly you feel insecure about being your unique self, even when this sets you apart from your friends.If, you feel you need a man to protect you financially, then possibly you've lost faith in your ability to financially support yourself.If you'd like a man in your life to offer your love and are willing to contribute the work of relating intimately, then you've found the best reason for wanting a man in your life.This is far different than "need".
My boyfriend says he needs time to think about us 
  Your boyfriend may like you a lot as well.People have different styles of reflecting on their lives, one of which is to retreat the way you describe your boyfriend doing.One point you can consider is asking for a time frame of when he'd be ready to discuss his thoughts on your relationship.He's entitled to retreat, as much as you're entitled to talk.Cooperating with the other person's way of handling themselves is one aspect of relating.Since the anti-depressants are a concern for you, consider bringing up this topic when the two of you do talk.
My best friend says she loves me but is talking to a random guy 
  Congrats on having your daughter!Have you told your partner about your feelings of "hurt and confused"?This is one possible way of opening a conversation about the different ways you each feel about one another and whether either of you would like changing or continuing to live together, in light of the change in emotional connection.The first step of having a dialogue about a relationship is being clear on what you are feeling, what you are willing to contribute to the relationship and what you would like having in return from your partner.Ask your partner if she is willing to have a conversation on these topics. Then, allow some time so each of you is clear about their own expectations and what is possible to offer the other.This is a fairly complex process and very often is difficult to keep on track without outside help to keep the discussion focused.It is normal for emotions to override our logic when discussing matters we care about deeply.If the conversations don't go very far, or if your partner has no interest in talking, stick with your own interest to more fully understand matters.Interview some therapists to find one whom you feel helps you clarify and find direction for yourself about this situation.
My companion tells me he wants nothing to do with me 
  Yes, I agree with your view about the "rollercoaster" sounding "crazy"!Concentrate on knowing what your reasons are for staying with this guy, given the broad facts that you state.What are you gaining from being together and are these gains outweighing how you feel when your companion says the opposite of what he just told you?Also, examine yourself for any fears of being alone.Very often, people stay in detrimental relationships because of a fear that being alone will feel worse.It may, initially feel this way after a breakup.This is from change itself.Eventually, stability and peace of mind return, and being alone with oneself is preferred to being taken on an emotional rollercoaster by a partner.
What is the proper procedure if your child's therapist is leaving the practice to work elsewhere? 
  There may be differences in Sate laws, and differences based on the particular license of the therapist, on this question so try googling your question for your State.Generally, the therapist should have given you whatever the standard practice is for your State, notice in advance. And, the therapist was expected to tell you and write you their care plan for the child patient.Are you the parent who is legally responsible for this child?If not, then the therapist may have already communicated properly with whoever is the legal parent responsible for the child.Also, insurance corporations who have contracts with particular therapists, have their own timeline standards of expecting therapists to give proper notice in advance of leaving a practice.
All I can do is cry and hate myself 
  Crying due to a dissolution of a marriage, is normal. Hating yourself may be a sign of extreme sadness, feelings of loss and uncertainty.Do you know why you hate yourself?Discovering your reason is the first step in knowing the obstacles and then the additional steps possible, to move from "hate" to "self-love".Divorce signals a loss of familiar life structure and daily routines.  As with any meaningful loss, crying is part of mourning what is soon to be gone.If you have confidence in your attorney's handling of the legal areas related to the divorce, and the "impossible" you reference is on facing and coming to terms with statements and behaviors from your wife that you never noticed before, then your best choice is to find a therapist whom you feel at ease in talking with, to sort through the emotional upheaval within yourself and your everyday life and world.Divorce is a wonderful time for learning about ones own emotional needs and expectations in relationships since these are the areas currently coming apart.The good news behind losing something that seems valuable, is that new space becomes open to attract what is more suitable for who you are.
I don't know where the lines should be drawn with my boyfriend's ex 
  How much of your unhappiness with your boyfriend's way of handling himself regarding his ex, have you told him?The topics that upset you are the core of any intimate relationship.The good news is your own awareness of priorities and expectations from a partner.There may not be any bad news, depending on whether your boyfriend has the interest to adjust what he does regarding the ex.Talking the matters you list, may open a lot of emotion and become sidetracked very easily.A couples' therapist, whose focus is on the couple, not either of you as individuals, may be useful to you and your boyfriend so that you are able to complete your discussions without getting lost by the emotions raised.
My therapist betrayed my trust 
  Do you want this therapist to have your credit card information?If not, then cancel the credit cards that you believe may now be accessible to this therapist.Therapists are expected to keep very clear boundaries between the therapy work and not have other relationships, such as "friend" or "money lender" with someone who is their patient.Therapists are never "friends" with their patients.Letting you believe that you are the therapist's friend, is a violation of professional ethics and almost definitely, a violation of the Consumer Protection laws in your State.Start by dropping this person as your therapist. He has broken too many ethical standards to be worthy of offering therapy.Think over if you'd like remaining friends with this person, whom you describe as lacking integrity and stealing from you.If you need help getting back money from him, then contact the police and talk to a detective about what has happened so far. The detective will advise according to the laws in your community and State, whether to file a police report, and what steps are necessary to utilize the Court system to get back your funds.If you'd like doing future patients who may be treated to similar ways by this therapist, a favor, go online and file a complaint with the therapist's Licensing Board.Good luck!
I don't trust my boyfriend 
  I'm sorry for so much stress in your relationship life.In what ways does your boyfriend express his commitment and positive feelings about you, to you?From what you write, you feel more aggravation, stress, loneliness and insecurity, than satisfaction by being in this relationship.Does he care that you don't trust him?Very often people stay in relationships from fear of knowing who they really are. The feeling is of needing a partner in a way that is similar to how a fearful child needs staying nearby a parent.My suggestion is to think over how much your sense of need for a partner, may be preventing you from actually seeing the amount of love and investment in your relationship, your boyfriend actually has.These realizations are sometimes painful and frightening to understand, especially if you grew up in a family that largely ignored or didn't adequately nurture you as a child.A therapist for your Self may be a good investment of time and cost in giving yourself a safe and trustworthy space to think deeply about your best interest.
Can our marriage still be saved? 
  Sorry to hear about the stress in your relationship. There is definite value in being clear as you are, about your own emotional investment in your husband and that you expect sexual exclusivity from him as part of the foundation of your marriage.Also positive is your awareness that only your husband is the one who must similarly decide his own standards of being sexually exclusive to you, or not.Whether your marriage can be saved depends on what each person is willing to accept about the other one.Is sleeping with other women the only criterion of what will satisfy you about being together with your husband?Love and care are not enough to make a marriage work.Partners need to be able to compromise and cooperate with each other.That you care for him definitely intensifies any emotion you feel toward your husband. It intensifies any frustration and sadness about the relationship too.Decide how much emotional sadness and hurt you're willing to tolerate and the reason you're willing to do so.From what you write, you are being very generous of yourself and not being reciprocated for this.If your husband doesn't start taking steps toward satisfying your wishes, this may be your time to question your own generosity in waiting for him to do so.
I don't believe in myself anymore 
  Congratulations on leaving your marriage!It is ok and natural to feel sadness, loss, uncertainty in direction, hurt, resulting from ending the marriage.Possibly what you consider "pity" is a combination of these feelings.Be kind and caring toward who you are since you just put yourself through a major separation and need time to clear out the old emotions that connected you to your ex.There is very, very little chance of him helping you since he lacks compassion and empathy.More likely any help he gave would be in order to manipulate you.Maybe for now your server job is ok do you have more time to concentrate on taking care of your emotions.You were a manager once, you can be a manager again when you feel ready for doing so.Good luck!
How can someone like me be happy? 
  The ADHD and manic depressive episodes are terms other people told you that you have.You don't have to accept these words to describe who you are.A lot of mental health in our country is about telling people what's wrong with them and giving pills for these so called conditions, instead of helping a person know more about themselves in order to make good decisions.You can be happy because nothing from the outside, such as the names people have used to tell you who you are, can interfere with your own wish to be happy.Others can slow you down because of the self-doubt and hurt feelings. No one can take happiness from you, only they can make it harder to find and hold onto.Anger management only works temporarily because it is a surface approach.Think of the reason you are angry. This will be better to know so you will be able to address it.Then you will not have anger to manage.
My therapist betrayed my trust 
  I'm sorry to hear that this hashappened.Counselors are legallyand ethically required to make sure that they always put the wellbeing of their clients above their own interests.In addition, counselor ethical rules, and the laws in just about every state, make it illegal for counselors to take advantage ofa client financially.A counselor borrowing money from a client (even if the counselorpays it back) wouldusually be considered to be taking advantage of the client.There are a few options you have at this point ifyou can't (or don't want) to continue to try to contact him directly. You can file a complaint with your states' regulatory board and let themknow what has happened.An investigator will then look into the situation for you. Another option would be for you to find a different counsleor who can provide you with an independent and netural point of view to help you figure out how you want to handle this situation.
How will I check if there really is something wrong with me? 
  Trust your intuition that your boyfriend is involved with other people.You gave examples which strongly suggest this.Quite commonly, a person twist someone's words to convince then of having problems in seeing or understanding their own and other's behavior.Your intuition is again working quite well in telling you that your problem is having a boyfriend who manipulates you, not that you're seeing things incorrectly.One way to check if you're totally misreading him, is to examine whether you feel similarly in other relationships.If no one else who knows you tells you that you're crazy, then this strongly points to your boyfriend twisting words so that you feel wrong.Also, a consult with a therapist would clarify the dynamics between you and your boyfriend.A therapist session would also allow you to think out loud in a confidential discussion, what to do with your newfound clarity!
Some adult family members are acting erratically in my house 
  Hi,This sounds like a very challenging and upsetting problem - good for you for reaching out! My first thought is, these two adults may have a sleep disorder that could be contributing to the urination in inappropriate places. Since they are adults, and you can't force them to seek treatment, you might be able to suggest that there could be an underlying medical issue and advise they speak with a medical provider. . As far as what to do for yourself - set some firm boundaries. Be clear about the expectations of your home. Also include the positive and negative consequences should they decide to address or avoid this issue. I hope this helps you, your family members, and the pets!