TurtleLiu/counselbot_for_mistral huggingface dataset:
How do I find happiness after my boyfriend passed away? 
  I am so sorry to hear of your boyfriend's passing. Grief is something that can take a long time to recover from. Have you considered speaking with a grief counselor? Being able to speak with someone that specializes in grief would be very beneficial.?Do not get down on yourself for not recovering quickly. This is one of the hardest aspects to deal with in life but eventually you will be able to move forward.?In the mean time, immerse yourself with positivity (i.e. Good friends, hobbies, exercise) and try to schedule a time with a counselor.?Perhaps there will be a support group you could also join. Oftentimes, it is comforting to meet others who share the same experience as you.Good luck to you. I hope you will find peace and comfort soon.
How do I remember and deal with things I did as a kid? 
  I'm very sorry to hear this. Hypnosis can be a valuable tool that a trained therapist can use to bring back suppressed memories. However, keep in mind that hypnosis doesn't work for everyone.?I think regardless, speaking with a therapist about your sexual issues would be beneficial. It seems like you have experienced some painful experiences in the past and may need help dealing with them in order to move forward.?In addition, if past memories do resurface a trained therapist will be able to help you cope with them as they arise.?I wish you the best of luck and I hope you receive the treatment that you deserve.
How do I choose between two guys? 
  Hi there. Wow, this sounds like a sticky situation; however, Im here to help guide you through this decision.?First and foremost, you must ask yourself, if you ever loved your sons father or was it a situation to where you two got pregnant and stayed together for the child. Its very common to stay with your partner when a child is involved regardless, if love is involved or not because its the right thing to do. Right? Well, not entirely.  Although, staying with your partner because you have a child together may seem right, in fact, it hurts the child in the long run. If you are not love with your partner, you will show distance, unhappiness, sadness, possibility of frequent arguments and cheating.  When a child grows up in the home and witnesses these types of emotions & behaviors it is unhealthy as he/she will expect their own relationships to be such. As a responsible adult, you are supposed to be there to shape and model the future for your child. Just remember, what you do, your child will model.?Secondly, do not sell yourself short from love. Everyone deserves to be happy and to have someone to share their love and intimacy with. However, being in love with someone you have never seen before can be very risky. Honestly, that sounds like lust and the longing of love.  Humans have needs and when people are unhappy in their current relationship, they often seek out what they need.  If you decide to pursue the second relationship, I would suggest setting up an outing with a friend or two in order to get to know this person as there are a lot of scammers these days.?Finally, I am not convinced that this has anything to do with choosing between two guys.  This seems as if you are making a decision to end the relationship with your childs father or not. You should ask yourself, if you were in love with your childs father first off. If you were, you would have never sought after love.  I hope this was helpful for you and I hope I was able to shed a different light on your situation. Take care of yourself!
What should I do if my boyfriend can't get over my past? 
  I am sorry to hear of your relationship struggles.?One thing I wonder is did you volunteer the information about your past or is this something that he asked about?  In the future, it is probably best to leave details out of conversations like this.  I think it is common and natural for partners to ask about the sexual history.  For one thing, it is a good idea to be checked for STDs before entering into a sexual relationship with someone, and it is fair to share that information with each other.  Partners usually want to know how many you have been with and what kind of sexual preferences you have or if there is anything you dont like to do.  This gets into a gray area for some people.  I dont necessarily want to know how many people my partner has been with and I certainly dont want a whole lot of details.  Sometimes that is an image I just dont want in my head about my partner.  Vague details are usually enough.However, I understand that your partner has the details and is not happy with your past.  This is a reflection on him, not you.  This shows insecurities on his part.  You cannot control how he will react to information that you provide to him and you cannot control how he feels about the information.  The past should remain in the past and not be held against you in the present or future.   If he cannot handle your past then it is going to cloud your relationship.  You can offer couples counseling to him and see if he will go with you.  I have seen relationships recover from some very serious problems such as infidelity.  It takes two people who both want it to work to make it work though.?If your boyfriend cannot get over your past, you may have to let him go.  Dont keep yourself tied to someone who is not right for you.  Constantly holding your past over your head and holding that against you is only going to bring you down and eventually you may start having insecurities or low self-esteem due to this type of treatment. I dont see that you have done anything wrong.  If you arent cheating on him now and you answered his questions about your past honestly, how he handles that information is on him.  Ultimately, relationships have a tendency to come and go. Dont fight to hold onto someone who is not right for you.  It is okay to be single and enjoy being the best you that you can be.  In time, the right person for you will enter your life.
I feel like I could never be with anyone because no one would want me 
  I'm sorry you are feeling uncared for. I'm sure there are plenty of people that care and love for you that you are not taking into consideration. Sometimes when we get upset we may think irrationally and see the world as all or nothing. However, take a deep breath, relax and start focusing on the positive relationships you have with others, regardless of how small or insignificant they may seem. I think you will quickly realize there are people out there that care a great deal about you.I also think it would help for you to surround yourself among people who you can identify with and share common interests with. Maybe you can attend a religious service, join an interest group (i.e. reading club, sports group, etc.) or start a group of your own. Most importantly, you need to tap into your interests and surround yourself with things that are beneficial for your own mental and physical health. From this, relationships will start to immerse.?You may also like to talk with a therapist regarding your feelings of being unloved. This is an unhealthy way to think of yourself and I think with a little help, you can see that you are more than deserving of a great relationship.?Thanks for reaching out and I wish you the best of luck moving forward. ?
How do I stop my step child from hurting my biological child? 
  I can see why you are alarmed. That is a scary situation for a parent. Do you know if the child has been evaluated by a mental health professional? Early treatment is often the key. A professional will be able to help the child learn how to control their anger and mend the troublesome actions into more appropriate responses.?Have you addressed your concerns with the child's other parent? There could be contributing factors in his life that could be causing these issues (exposure to violence, sexual/physical abuse, drug use, stressful events in his life, etc.). It is important that these factors are identified so that they can either be eliminated and/or reduced.?I wouldn't hesitate to have him evaluated (if he hasn't been already) and to ensure that he is getting the help that he needs whether it be medication and/or therapy. Until then, I would make sure that he is always supervised under an adult's care.
How do I deal with a weird fetish I'm afraid of opening up about? 
  This is difficult to answer because you dont tell us what the fetish is.? I do understand that this is something that is bothering you though.?The first thing to ask yourself is if this is something that is illegal or not.? If this is illegal to engage in, then you need to seek counseling help immediately to control the urges.However, if your fetish is not something illegal and you just feel that it is something odd, a therapist could still help you deal with these feelings.? You may find that it is something very common and not something to be ashamed of.? You may find other people have the same interest as you.? Find a therapist that you can trust and tell them.? Dont hold back with your therapist.? Trust me, they have heard and seen it all by now, and they can help you either stop the behavior that is causing you distress, or help you come to terms with accepting the behavior as part of who you are.? There is no need to suffer with this alone.?
What can I do if my coworkers accuse me of mood swings? 
  I cant give you legal advice, but employers can suggest you see someone if your behavior is affecting your job. I believe most government agencies have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) where employees can talk to a therapist about any issue, not just work-related, for free (up to a certain amount of sessions).Im wondering, though,?why your coworkers would tell your boss this if its not true. Is it possible that you're not aware of how your interactions are affecting others? Maybe this?forced counseling can be an opportunity for some introspection on your part.
How do I deal with depression? 
  First of all, if youre sick and in pain, have you seen your doctor? If you have a chronic illness and pain, this can often lead to depression and is very common. Youve taken the first step to dealing with it. You can talk to your doctor, even if your depression isnt related to your health. He or she can either look at prescribing you an antidepressant or can refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist.If thats not really an option for you, there are?also helplines (local or national) or support groups where people dealing with?similar issues?can talk to each other. If you can't find any in your area (newspapers usually publish this information), there are?online support groups as well.?
What can I do if my parents refuse to acknowledge my anxiety and self-confidence issues? 
  I'm sorry to hear that you are unable to get through to your parents. It sounds like you are experiencing a great deal of anxiety that needs to be addressed by a professional (despite the fact that you are unable to at the moment). I would recommend talking with another adult such as a  school counselor that can offer you support in this area. Perhaps they can work with you on your anxiety issues and schedule a meeting with your parents so that he/she may help mediate the conversation with them.If you are unable to reach out to a school counselor maybe you can try a member of the family such as an aunt or an uncle that feels comfortable addressing the issue with your parents. Sometimes it helps hearing it from a third party before the situations is taken seriously enough.Good luck!
How do I overcome being jealous of my boyfriends mother? 
  Try to think of his close relationship with his mother in a good way. It means that they have a positive family structure which can transfer down to your own family if you have one together in the future.?Despite your boyfriend having a good relationship with his mother, it will never be equal to the relationship that you have with him. A love for a mother is a very different love than one with a girlfriend or wife. There are certain things that he may look towards his mother for and certain things that he may look toward you for.?So, instead of comparing your relationship with him to the one he has with his mother, try viewing them as two separate entities. She can not replace you, and you cannot replace her. However, all together, you can have a positive, healthy family dynamic.
Any suggestions for erection problems? 
  Hi there, first off I have to commend you for reaching out. It takes a lot for a man to reach out for help when it comes to erection problems. Believe it or not, this problem is very common for men and women.?There are some things that you can try naturally, before resulting in medication, such as your eating habits and exercise. I would suggest taking a look at what you are consuming throughout the day. Do you consume a healthy diet and do you exercise regularly? How much caffeine and sugar do you intake daily?  These are just a few common things to look at. You would be surprised of how much pressure what we consume puts on our bodies. Our bodies are like a car. You have to maintenance it, in order for it to continue to run.?If you would like to get further natural advice and/or suggestions on eating healthy and exercising, I would recommend you see a nutritionist. A nutritionist specializes in maintaining a healthy diet. As far as your Doctor, I would recommend looking into getting another Doctor. I have never heard of a medical professional not wanting to talk about anything. That appears to be a personal issue on their part. I hope I was helpful and I wish you the best of luck!
How do I move on from my husband's cheating? 
  How has your husband acted since then? Was he regretful? How did you find out? Did he confess? These are all things that you want to consider. Betrayal is very hard to get over so if it's taking you awhile to get over, know that this is normal.Hopefully you're husband has been very regretful and upfront and honest with you since this happened. It may take awhile to reestablish your trust with him and he should understand this.?It's also very important to discuss WHY he cheated. You want to make sure that the reasoning behind this was not something that could arise again in the future. And if it can, there needs to be an action plan in place (i.e. being honest with how he's feeling) so that you both get a chance to rectify the situation.If the cheating has happened more than once, you may want to reevaluate your reasoning for staying in the marriage. It would be obvious that he did not truly regret what he had done or else he wouldn't repeat the same mistake. However, if it was a single event and he has shown you and continuously shows you that he genuinely loves you and is sorry for his mistake, I would give it a try. People do make mistakes and sometimes it takes an event like this to realize what you have.Know that it takes time and that you have the right to feel what you feel. If the relationship was a good, healthy relationship, it is worth saving. Ease back into it and be upfront with your feelings. In return, your husband should be patient and understanding of this.?Also, marriage counselors are often a good go-to as they have a great deal of experience working with marriages in similar situations.?Best of luck to you!
How can I determine if I should be a boy or girl? 
  I understand that gender and/or sexual identity crises can be very difficult to navigate, although in todays time I think we have made a lot of progress and it is becoming easier for individuals to find themselves and also find acceptance from society.I am unsure how old you are.  If you are a child or teenager, this is a normal time to have identity questions and to be in a phase where you are trying to figure out who you are and what you want out of life.  I hope that you have understanding and supportive friends and family that you can talk to and who will support you in how you feel and what you may decide to do.  A lot of people, unfortunately, do not, and if this is the case then it makes it harder for you.  Because then you may not feel safe exploring these feelings and decisions.I urge you not to try to make any permanent changes for quite some time.  By this I mean a sex change.  Anything permanent like surgery or hormone replacement to change your actual gender is something that does not need to be done lightly.  Please find a therapist that can help you explore your feelings and your identity crisis.  Of course there are things that you can do that are not permanent changes.  Many people decide to dress like their gender of choice.  Maybe experimenting in this way is something that you could do.See if you have a local chapter of PFLAG in your area. PFLAG stands for Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.  They are able to help not only with those who identify as lesbian or gay, but also transgendered and asexual.?I wish you all the best in your identity crisis.  It would be very easy for you to sink into depression if you do not have good support and understanding from those around you during this time.  Find a professional that can help, especially if you experience depression or any thoughts of harming yourself.
How do I get over anxiety, depression, and isolation? 
  The best way to handle depression and anxiety is with a combination of appropriate medication given to you by a medical doctor, and therapy to help you understand the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are causing the depression and anxiety in the first place and then to replace these with more positive thoughts and behaviors.  This is not something that anyone should just white knuckle and try to get through on their own with no help.  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a technique that has been proven helpful for depression and anxiety.  This takes a therapist trained in CBT.?There are some things in life that you cannot change and must learn to accept.  A lot of people spend time trying to change things that they have no control over.  This may be the behavior of someone else in your life or it could be a situation that you cannot change, such as the recent death of a loved one, a lost relationship, or an accident or illness which has left you handicapped.  In cases like this, what can change is your attitude and thoughts about the situation that you now find yourself in.  One thing that is inevitable about life is that stuff happens and it is not always pleasant. Some people take these unpleasant occurrences very hard and it throws them into a deep depression.  Other people seem to be able to handle lifes ups and downs and bounce back.  They do this with having positive coping skills in their life.  Learning new coping skills is something your therapist can help you with.A lot of people are so focused on trying to change the things in their life that they cannot change and are ignoring the things that they can change.  There are things that you can do.  Here is a quote for you to consider.  You are getting almost everything that you are getting based on the choices that you have made.  You will continue to get the same thing out of life until you make some changes.  Another quote I like is You will find a way or you will find an excuse.  Dont ever say that you have no choice.  Everyone has a choice.  You might not particularly like any of the choices that you are facing, but you do have choices.  Not happy in a relationship?  You can leave it.  Hate your job?  Get a new one.  If it matters to you, you will find a way.  Dont sit there complaining about everything but not doing anything different or better.Take care of yourself.  Exercise is very important not only for your physical health, but for your mental health as well.  Eating right and exercising will help you feel better about yourself.  Also, find a meditation that works for you.  There are progressive muscle relaxation exercises, visual and mental meditations, and many many more.  Start making some positive changes in your life today!  You can do it!
What do I do about a cousin who makes me feel belittled, insecure and frustrated? 
  Do you have a close friend or relative who's opinion you trust? Ask them for their honest feedback and if they see you like your cousin does. If they dont see these qualities in you, then it may be your cousins issue and shes taking it out on you. You can always ask her what would be the best way to communicate plans with her so you know, specifically, what she is expecting. Then if you meet these expectations and she still blames you and comments on how inconsiderate you are, it's her issue and she is not coming from a place of love.Even if you do resemble her comments, the way it sounds like she approaches this problem is not out of love. The fact that you're introspective enough to consider your own behavior suggests the problem is not with you.?
I have a son with my girlfriend, but she is emotionally abusive. What do I do? 
  It sounds like you are in a tough situation. You have to ask yourself why you don't want to leave her. Is it because of the child? Or is it because you want the relationship to work? You must consider that being in an abusive relationship is not healthy for you or your child. So if the abuse continues, it would be more beneficial for you and your child to move out.On the other hand, if you are just wanting the relationship to work out despite its current state, you need to evaluate whether the relationship is worth salvaging. It seems as though you are very unhappy and undervalued in this relationship. Although your question revealed just a short bit of information, I didn't read about any positives in the relationship.?Sometimes it's extremely hard to leave a relationship even though you know that the relationship itself is harmful for you. However, with time and focus you can do it. Each day will get a little easier and you have to trust yourself that you are making the right situation for you and your child.However, if you really feel that you want to stay in the relationship, you have to be upfront with her. You need to tell her exactly how you feel and give her specific examples of how she is hurting you. This gives her a chance to render the situation. If after this there is no improvement, I suggest that you start reconsidering your decision to stay.I also think it would be valuable for you to start engaging in things outside of the home that make you happy. Are there any hobbies you enjoy? Are there any groups in the area that you can join such as playgroups that will allow you to engage with other parents? Start looking into these options and finding an avenue for you to do something for your own benefit.It is certainly not healthy for you to isolate yourself from friends and family. You need to have additional support networks besides the one with your girlfriend, especially since this has not been a healthy environment lately.Thank you for reaching out. I wish you the best of luck with your relationship.