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ToastyPigeon

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[Themes: Haunted House, Humor, horror] > Go downward In the House (basement) You swim in fearsome dimness here! The exit is up! An enormous spider lies in wait for you! Its giant legs scratch on the floor and glowing red eyes glare at you evilly! The holy bible lies on the floor! > You ask the spider about bible "I don't care what the ghost says: it's mine! Finders keepers! > You ask the spider about the ghost "What a stuck-up old bitty!" > You ask the spider about the slime "Now that one keeps to itself." > You ask the spider about the spider "I like to think I'm a nice person." > You ask the spider about the skeleton "Hey, it's a professional. It's supposed to guard something and it just does." > You take the paint That's hardly portable. > You eat the paint (first taking the peeling paint) That's hardly portable. > Go south You stand before the extremely terrifying house, trembling with fear! What waits within? Death? Something worse than death? You may go in to find out or return south to the drive! > You go to the northeast Exits are southwest and southeast. Another opening is here possibly going out of the forest. > You go southeast Paths lead southeast, east and northwest. Another opening is here possibly going out of the forest. A shiny sword lies in wait of a proud warrior here! > You take sword Taken. > Full You have so far scored 2 out of a possible 8, in 98 turns. > You go to the west Exits are east, west and southwest. > You go to the south-west Paths lead northeast, west and northwest. Another opening is here possibly going out of the forest. > Go north You stand before the extremely terrifying house, trembling with fear! What waits within? Death? Something worse than death? You may go in to find out or return south to the drive! Argh! A giant stone harpy swoops down on you! You can't dive out of the way! Large talons sink into your shoulder and you're carried far away and dropped into a hole in the side of a mountain!! Moonlight from the hole you fell through illuminates a terrible cave! It seems to be a nest with bits of bone and straw littering the floor! Very dark passages twist out to the northwest and north. > Search bones You find nothing of interest. A gruesome hatchling flutters in shrieking! You'd better run! > You kill the hatchling You hack at it with the sword, and it ducks! "Garr!" The creature dives at you and you beat it back with the sword! > Go north You race through the passage, holding the hatchling at bay with the sword! Claustrophobic passages wind east, south, southwest and northwest. A gruesome hatchling flutters in shrieking! You'd better run! > Go northwest You race through the passage, holding the hatchling at bay with the sword! Oppresive granite surfaces are on all sides! You can go to the east and southeast. A harpy egg sits on the floor unguarded. > You get the egg Taken. > You go southeast Claustrophobic passages wind east, south, southwest and northwest. > Go south Moonlight from the hole you fell through illuminates a terrible cave! It seems to be a nest with bits of bone and straw littering the floor! Very dark passages twist out to the northwest and north. A gruesome hatchling flutters in shrieking! You'd better run! > You run You'll have to say which compass direction to go in. "Garr!" The creature dives at you and you beat it back with the sword! > You go to the north-west You race through the passage, holding the hatchling at bay with the sword! The stone of the walls surround you! Exits lead northeast and southeast. A gruesome hatchling flutters in shrieking! You'd better run! > You go to the northwest You race through the passage, holding the hatchling at bay with the sword! Oppresive granite surfaces are on all sides! You can go to the east and southeast. > You go to the east Twisty passages go southeast and west. You fear you are lost! > Go southeast The creepiness of these caves push down on you! Exits are west, northwest, north and southwest. A gruesome hatchling flutters in shrieking! You'd better run! > Go southwest You race through the passage, holding the hatchling at bay with the sword! This cave tunnel goes from northeast to east! A gruesome hatchling flutters in shrieking! You'd better run! > You go east You race through the passage, holding the hatchling at bay with the sword! The only exit goes to the west, though a thin fragile-looking column props up the cracked rock of the ceiling and seems to be protruding from a hole in the floor! Could the hole be a way out of these caves??? > You go to the west This cave tunnel goes from northeast to east! A gruesome hatchling flutters in shrieking! You'd better run! > Go east You race through the passage, holding the hatchling at bay with the sword! The only exit goes to the west, though a thin fragile-looking column props up the cracked rock of the ceiling and seems to be protruding from a hole in the floor! Could the hole be a way out of these caves??? A gruesome hatchling flutters in shrieking! You'd better run! > Climb column I don't think much is to be achieved by that. "Garr!" The creature dives at you and you beat it back with the sword! > Up You don't know where it leads! You can't go that way. "Garr!" The creature dives at you and you beat it back with the sword! > You enter the hole You can't reach through the column! "Garr!" The creature dives at you and you beat it back with the sword! > You hit column You strike the column with the sword *CLANG*, and a crack forms! You hit it again and again until it breaks! Oh no the ceiling is falling! The exit is blocked off, and you have no choice but to dive down the hole where you land *SPLOOSH* in -- This water is flowing too fast! You'll be smashed against the walls and killed! > Dive It's all you can do to keep your head above the water! Nothing can save you now, you think, as the river flow pulls you away! > Swim It's all you can do to keep your head above the water! You struggle, barely keeping your head up! > You check your inventory You are carrying: a harpy egg a shiny sword a plastic bottle a lamp (providing light) My goodness! A vine hangs down in the water ahead! You have to grab it now, to pull yourself out! > You get the vine You grab it and pull up! You've saved yourself! After taking a moment gasping for air, you climb the vine up through a hole... A frightening hole in the ground terminates the drive going north!

[Themes: Haunted House, Humor] > Go downward You are too afraid of the evil within! > You kill the skeleton Blindingly fast, it dodges your sword blow! The vile skeleton inches toward you! > You kill the skeleton Blindingly fast, it dodges your sword blow! The skeleton jumps! It's got you and tears you limb from limb! > You examine the egg You can feel something moving inside it! > You ask the spider about the harpy "Not too bright, in my opinion." > You ask spider about the egg The spider snorts. "Pshaw. My eggs are grosser than harpy eggs." > Attack spider You hack at the spider! The spider's blow contacts you mildly! > Attack spider Your sword nicks the creature! You barely dodge the spider's blow! > Attack spider You hack at the spider! You receive a hit from the spider! > Attack spider Whump! A solid blow! You receive a hit from the spider! > Attack spider You miss badly! You barely dodge the spider's blow! > Attack spider Whump! A solid blow! The spider falls! It is dead! But wait! Blood gushes like a terrible fountain out of the wound! Acidic blood! It burns your skin off and you die horribly! > You break the egg It breaks open easily, but someTHING jumps out and onto your head, crushing it!! > Inventory You are carrying: a harpy egg a shiny sword a plastic bottle a lamp (providing light) > You look at the bottle Gasp! It once contained some sort of energy drink, according to the label! > You throw the egg Dropped. > You get the egg Taken. > You give the egg to the skeleton It gnashes gruesome teeth at you! Chak chak chak! > You ask the skeleton about the spider It gnashes gruesome teeth at you! Chak chak chak! The vile skeleton inches toward you! > Go northeast Exits are southwest and southeast. > You go southeast Paths lead southeast, east and northwest. Another opening is here possibly going out of the forest. > Go east Exits are southwest, east and west. > You go northeast Exits are east, west and southwest. > You go to the southeast Paths lead northeast, east and northwest. Another tiny exit is north. > Go north The green flora turns soft here, with light swimming over it. The air is fresh and cinnamony. You breathe deeply, but know you must go back and recover the amulet... West goes out of the forest and a passage is south. Some icky Pepsi is on the ground! > You look at Pepsi Ew yuck! A can of Pepsi! > Drink pepsi Blech! Drinking that'll turn you inside out!

[Themes: Humor, Haunted House] > You look at your surroundings The green flora turns soft here, with light swimming over it. The air is fresh and cinnamony. You breathe deeply, but know you must go back and recover the amulet... West goes out of the forest and a passage is south. > You pour Pepsi on the slime You pour the vile fluid on the slime! Then you hear a loud, horrible gurgling sound and ten thousand gallons of matter are hurled out at once, squishing you under the mass!! > You put the egg in the slime Ack! As you touch the slime-ooze there is a horrible burning in your skin! The stuff actually rises off the ground and engulfs you! You're pulled down into it and can't get out! > You throw egg at the slime Futile. > You pour Pepsi in the bottle How exciting! The bottle is now full of Pepsi! > Inventory You are carrying: some Pepsi (in the plastic bottle) a harpy egg a shiny sword a lamp (providing light) > You pour Pepsi on the floor Dropped. > You pour Pepsi on the slime You pour the vile fluid on the slime! Then you hear a loud, horrible gurgling sound and ten thousand gallons of matter are hurled out at once, squishing you under the mass!!

[Themes: Humor, Haunted House] > You look at your surroundings The green flora turns soft here, with light swimming over it. The air is fresh and cinnamony. You breathe deeply, but know you must go back and recover the amulet... West goes out of the forest and a passage is south. > You pick up a bone Following that path you come to a pit, which you descend into... In this shallow pit, lit by the full moon, there is a weird slime-ooze lying on the ground like thick green vomit! As you watch it, you see faint ripples and motions that make your skin crawl! The exit is southeast! A gold ring is at the center of the slime! A pile of human bones sits by the slime-ooze! That's fixed in place. > You ask slime about the bottle You can only do that to something animate. > You ask the spider about Pepsi "Gag! That's the kind of thing the ghost upstairs likes!" > Inventory You are carrying: some Pepsi (in a can) a harpy egg a shiny sword a plastic bottle a lamp (providing light) > You pour Pepsi in the bottle How exciting! The bottle is now full of Pepsi! > Go upwards In the House (attic) Some boxes are strewn about the room facing you like weird grave stones! You can go down from here! A frightening ghost glows purpley here! It is the figure of a young bride, with a veil hanging over a bony face and clawlike arms sticking out of the sleeves! She beckons to you! > You give Pepsi to the ghost "Now I can only dream of its taste!" she says. > Inventory You are carrying: some Pepsi (in the plastic bottle) a harpy egg a shiny sword a lamp (providing light) > You ask the the ghost about the Amulet She avers: "Oh woe is me! I have been trapped in this cursed state for decades! "When I was eighteen on my wedding night -- what I thought would be my most wonderful -- my new husband proved himself a villain! He slew me and stole my inheritance! My clay he buried beneath this building, never to be found again! "If some person of noble spirit can bring me my wedding ring and the bible my mother gave me before I was tragically wed -- When those are recovered then can I be freed from this insipid state: having no place among the living and unable to go to my reward in heaven!!" > You ask the ghost about the harpy "Dumb and gross. I'm like ew!" > You ask the ghost about the spider She sniffs! "I'd never share my Pepsi with him!" > You ask the ghost about the skeleton "What a bore. Work work work!"

> You look at your surroundings In the House (attic) Some boxes are strewn about the room facing you like weird grave stones! You can go down from here! A frightening ghost glows purpley here! It is the figure of a young bride, with a veil hanging over a bony face and clawlike arms sticking out of the sleeves! She beckons to you! > You give Pepsi to the spider "Har! You'll need that energy-drink more than I will!" the spider says." > You hit spider The spider shudders under your powerful strike! Pow! The spider beats at you! > Attack spider Whump! A solid blow! A vicious strike from the spider knocks you down! > Attack spider The spider shudders under your powerful strike! Wounded, it snatches the Pepsi from your hand and screams, "You think you've won, huh? I'll just quaff this energy-drink and then you're dead meat, buster!" You cringe as it drinks the vile fluid! Suddenly it gasps, "What have you done to me?!" and starts hurling! After a while all of its guts are ejected from its mouth and it's dead!!

> Describe the surroundings In the House (basement) You swim in fearsome dimness here! The exit is up! The shell of the giant spider is here with its horrible innards strewn in front of it! > You look at the shell Cool! > You get the shell Yuck! > You give bible to the skeleton It gnashes gruesome teeth at you! Chak chak chak! The skeleton jumps! It's got you and tears you limb from limb! > You throw egg at the skeleton You hurl the egg, and the skeleton can't get out of the way! As the egg cracks open against its skull, a harpy chick breaks out, immediately enfolding and crushing the skull! The now headless skeleton flops on the floor, truly dead now and the chick dashes off out of the room!

> Describe the surroundings In the House (kitchen) A very old rusted stove stands here, but the only thing that will be cooked in this room again is... you! You'd better run south out now! The dead skeleton -- the remains of the remains -- is here. > You look at the skeleton You shudder at its sight! > You look at stove This dilapated device must be a hundred years old! > You pour the poison on the slime You throw the poison bottle at the slime, and it erupts on contact! Nothing happens at first, but then there's a fearsome slurping-gagging sound! The slime becomes gray and totally still... > You give the ring to the ghost As you release the wedding ring it floats before the ghost! She says, "Oh thank you! Bring the other please! The other!" > You give bible to the ghost "Bless you friend!" sings the ghost, "With this holy bible I go to find my reward!" And then she starts to rise and glows brighter! So bright you have to close your eyes! When you open them she is no more and you are carrying what must be the Amulet! > Inventory You are carrying: the Amulet a shiny sword a lamp (providing light) > You look at Amulet It is a plain black disk, but you can feel something emanating from it! A great power! > Wear Amulet You are too frightened and awed to wear it! > You go to the south You can go east and southwest from here, and the looming house is north! Crack! A huge chasm spewing fire opens in the earth before you! A towering, horrible bat flies out of it, cackling, "Hee hee! Satan has sent me for you, O Foolish One! I will carry you to Hell! Carry you there to be my plaything for eternity! You will make a fine addition to my collection of damned action figures! Hee hee!" > You look at the bat Heaven help you! There is no defeating this awesome creature! The bat shrieks, "You must fear me! Fear me!" > You show Amulet to the bat It just squeals merrily! Evilly! The creature says, "Ha! What a toy you will be!" > You hit the bat "Your pitiful attack means nothing to me! Ha ha!" it cries! "Bah! I bore of this!" the bat states! It plucks you up and carries you to down! > Go north Oh no you don't! It plucks you up and carries you to down! > Rub amulet You achieve nothing by this. "Bah! I bore of this!" the bat states! It plucks you up and carries you to down! > Wear Amulet You are too frightened and awed to wear it! "Bah! I bore of this!" the bat states! It plucks you up and carries you to down! > You give Amulet to the bat Nothing will placate me but your eternal soul as my play toy! "Bah! I bore of this!" the bat states! It plucks you up and carries you to down! > You throw Amulet at the bat It just squeals merrily! Evilly! "Bah! I bore of this!" the bat states! It plucks you up and carries you to down! > You fear bat You do fear the horrible bat! "Bah! I bore of this!" the bat states! It plucks you up and carries you to down! > Inventory You are carrying: the Amulet a shiny sword a lamp (providing light) "Bah! I bore of this!" the bat states! It plucks you up and carries you to down!

[Themes: Humor, Haunted House, Comedy, parody, horror] > Look around You can go east and southwest from here, and the looming house is north! The horrible bat grins at you! "Bah! I bore of this!" the bat states! It plucks you up and carries you to down! > Fear amulet You do fear the Amulet! "Bah! I bore of this!" the bat states! It plucks you up and carries you to down!

> Describe the surroundings In the House (basement) You swim in fearsome dimness here! The exit is up! The shell of the giant spider is here with its horrible innards strewn in front of it! > Inventory You are carrying: the holy bible a harpy egg a shiny sword a lamp (providing light) > You examine the ring It's a very old wedding ring. The inscription inside reads "Love Unto Death". > You go to the northwest Following that path you come to a pit, which you descend into... An inert gray goo is on the ground in this moonlit area. The exit is southeast! A pile of human bones sits by the goo! > Inventory You are carrying: a wedding ring the holy bible a shiny sword a lamp (providing light) > You look at the goo Quite dreadful! > You take the bones That's fixed in place. > You go to the north-east You can't see any such thing. You can't get through the thick flora! > Go north You stand before the extremely terrifying house, trembling with fear! What waits within? Death? Something worse than death? You may go in to find out or return south to the drive! You can see the Amulet here. > You look at the chasm It leads down into hell! The bat shrieks, "You must fear me! Fear me!" > You enter the chasm No! No! The creature says, "Ha! What a toy you will be!" > You put Amulet in the chasm But you don't want to lose the Amulet! "Bah! I bore of this!" the bat states! It plucks you up and carries you to down! > You jump over the chasm You would achieve nothing by this. "Bah! I bore of this!" the bat states! It plucks you up and carries you to down! > Break amulet Violence isn't the answer to this one. "Bah! I bore of this!" the bat states! It plucks you up and carries you to down! > You read bible to the bat (in the frightening ghost) You discover nothing of interest in the frightening ghost. > You give bible to the ghost "Bless you friend!" sings the ghost, "With this holy bible I go to find my reward!" And then she starts to rise and glows brighter! So bright you have to close your eyes! When you open them she is no more and you are carrying what must be the Amulet! > You turn the disk Nothing obvious happens. > You eat Amulet That's plainly inedible.

[Themes: Humor, Haunted House, parody] > Look around In the House (attic) Some boxes are strewn about the room facing you like weird grave stones! You can go down from here! > You move the stove You are unable to. > You get the skeleton You are far too repulsed to touch the thing! > You throw Amulet Dropped. The bat shrieks, "You must fear me! Fear me!" > You fear bat You do fear the horrible bat! The bat shrieks, "You must fear me! Fear me!" > You fear bat You do fear the horrible bat! The creature says, "Ha! What a toy you will be!" > Pray Nothing practical results from your prayer. "Bah! I bore of this!" the bat states! It plucks you up and carries you to down! > You switch off the lamp You nervously turn it off... "Bah! I bore of this!" the bat states! It plucks you up and carries you to down! > You give bible to ghost As you release the holy bible it floats before the ghost! She says, "Oh thank you! Bring the other please! The other!" > You give the ring to the ghost "Bless you friend!" sings the ghost, "With this wedding ring I go to find my reward!" And then she starts to rise and glows brighter! So bright you have to close your eyes! When you open them she is no more and you are carrying what must be the Amulet! > You fear bat You do fear the horrible bat! "Bah! I bore of this!" the bat states! It plucks you up and carries you to down! > You go south The gate must be opened first. > You cut the trees Cutting that up would achieve little. > You feed Amulet to the bat Nothing will placate me but your eternal soul as my play toy! The bat shrieks, "You must fear me! Fear me!" > Wear Amulet You are too frightened and awed to wear it! The creature says, "Ha! What a toy you will be!" > Break amulet Violence isn't the answer to this one. "Bah! I bore of this!" the bat states! It plucks you up and carries you to down! > You check your inventory You are carrying: a shiny sword a lamp (providing light) > Go southwest Paths lead southeast, southwest, northwest and northeast. Another opening is here possibly going out of the forest. > Go west Exits are southwest, east and west. Another opening is here possibly going out of the forest. > You go southwest Paths lead northeast, east and northwest. Another tiny exit is north. > You go southwest You can go northeast and west from here. Another opening is here possibly going out of the forest. > You go northeast Paths lead southeast, southwest, northwest and northeast. Another opening is here possibly going out of the forest. > Wave amulet Oh no! Nothing happens! > Wave amulet Oh no! Nothing happens! The bat shrieks, "You must fear me! Fear me!" > You give the bat amulet Nothing will placate me but your eternal soul as my play toy! "Bah! I bore of this!" the bat states! It plucks you up and carries you to down! > You give the sword to the bat "OOH! Something shiny!" it squeaks! Snatching the sword, it dives back into the chasm, which closes up without a trace! You can only stand there, trembling and bewildered... > You open gate It opens easily! > Go south A black forbidding gate looms between yourself and the gravel drive going up to an old eerie house set on a hill to the north. Light from the full moon casts strange shadows behind you and the dark forest engulfing this area. The road you came from is west. As you pass out of the gate, it closes shut! You've retrieved the amulet! But wait! It's glowing! Its shape is changing, becoming longer and thinner and curving into a C... Suddenly the object's glow parts from it, shooting with a flash toward the house and disappears! You are now just standing on an ordinary road at night before a tall gate. And in your inventory, you see... A HOOK!

[Themes: Satire, parody] Pain. Unceasing pain. Ever since your lover Black left, something to do with a mysterious stranger and a time machine, your days have been a dull blur of gray loneliness. Perhaps you'd feel better if you got out and did something. This is the living room of your rather squalid apartment. The huge compass rose on your floor reminds you that your bedroom is west, the front hall is north, the kitchen is east, and the bathroom is south. Your mimesis plant squats in its pot in a corner of the room, slowly photosynthesizing. [Author's Note: Your lover Black left, and your days are full of loneliness. Your progress in finding him, however, is blocked by none other than the Devil himself; and to get rid of him, you must commit the seven deadly sins. And that is just the beginning...] > About yourself As good-looking as ever. > You examine the plant This is a prizewinning specimen of the species Mimesis Variegans. It is dark green, with yellow stripes on its luxurious leaves. The mimesis plant thrives in low light and requires occasional watering. You've always preferred the variegated to the linear variety, yourself. This one is about ten inches high. The plant looks rather dry. Your heart swells with pride as you consider your beautiful houseplant. There is a sharp crackling and a sudden smell of ozone, as something appears in your hand. > You check what you're carrying You are carrying: a diskette case "Curses" > You look at the compass This is a compass rose inlaid on your floor, constructed painstakingly from pine, mahogany, and oak. You don't quite remember why you put it in, but it had something to do with caving and survey shots. > You examine the curses A floppy disk labelled "Curses". > You eat the disk (the diskette case) That's plainly inedible. > You go south The salient feature, to borrow a technique from Detective, is the exit to the north. Sure, there's a sink, a tub, a toilet, and a medicine cabinet in here, but I promise you that you lose nothing by failing to examine them. > You examine cabinet Really, it's still just scenery. Author's Note: I'm certain I could make a bathtub you could bathe or shower in, with hot or cold water, a toilet that flushed and removed its contents, a medicine cabinet with a child-proof bottle within, and a fluffy towel on which to dry off. But I haven't, and frankly I don't care that much about implementing bodily functions or sanitation in the game. > You look at sink Really, it's still just scenery. > You go north Your mimesis plant squats in its pot in a corner of the room, slowly photosynthesizing.

> You look at your surroundings This is the living room of your rather squalid apartment. The huge compass rose on your floor reminds you that your bedroom is west, the front hall is north, the kitchen is east, and the bathroom is south. Your mimesis plant squats in its pot in a corner of the room, slowly photosynthesizing. > Go east This is your kitchen: walls papered in a yellow floral design, counter, cabinet, stove, table, chairs, fridge, microwave, and so on. The living room is west. On the counter is a juice glass (which is empty). > You look at the microwave Just your basic tiny microwave oven. It has a big red button labelled "Zap" on the front. It is currently closed. > You examine the glass The juice glass is empty. > You get the glass Taken. > You examine the sink This is a standard issue kitchen sink. Rather than actually implementing a faucet and two knobs, let's just say that you can fill containers from it when you want to. It is an unlimited source of the finest tap water. > You examine cabinet Merely a plain wooden cabinet. > You open the cabinet You open the kitchen cabinet, revealing a red cardboard box. > You look at the box Which do you mean, the red cardboard box or the diskette case? > Red This is a bright red box of "Sugar Coated Corn Puffs," a terrifyingly unhealthy part of your complete breakfast. > You open red Which do you mean, the red button, the refrigerator or the red cardboard box? > You open the red cardboard You open the red cardboard box, revealing some cereal and a toy. > Examine toy This is an ugly blue plastic toy included as a prize in the box of cereal. It appears to have no use whatsoever, and indeed it is unclear what, exactly, it is meant to represent. > You eat the toy That's plainly inedible. > You open the microwave You open the microwave. > You put the toy in the microwave You put the toy into the microwave. > You look at the cereal The Sugar Coated Corn Puffs are whitish-yellow, with a coating of sugar. > You close the microwave You close the microwave. > You turn on the microwave The microwave hums briefly, and the toy vanishes in a plume of greasy smoke. You can almost hear the microwave chuckle evilly. > You open the microwave You open the microwave, revealing a toy.

[Themes: Satire] > You look at your surroundings This is your kitchen: walls papered in a yellow floral design, counter, cabinet, stove, table, chairs, fridge, microwave, and so on. The living room is west. > You take the toy Taken. > You examine the fridge This is a gigantic old fridge, bright red, of the latching-handle variety. It is closed. > You open the fridge You open the refrigerator, revealing some Chinese food. > You examine the food Some of last night's take-out General Tso's chicken. It's spicy and encased in a cardboard box for your convenience. Cold and greasy, though. > You put the food in the microwave You put the Chinese food into the microwave. > You close the microwave You close the microwave. > You look at the microwave Just your basic tiny microwave oven. It has a big red button labelled "Zap" on the front. It is currently closed. > You open the microwave You open the microwave, revealing some Chinese food. > You smell the food Mmmm! Chili peppers. > You eat the food (first taking the Chinese food) With your bare hands? You have better manners than that.

[Themes: Satire] > You look at your surroundings This is your kitchen: walls papered in a yellow floral design, counter, cabinet, stove, table, chairs, fridge, microwave, and so on. The living room is west. > You examine the counter This is a standard stained and scarred formica counter. It's white, where it isn't stained. > You examine the stove This is still just scenery. Bear with me. > You check your inventory You are carrying: some Chinese food a toy a red cardboard box (which is open) some cereal a juice glass some cold water a diskette case "Curses" > You eat the cereal (first taking the cereal) Mmmmm, tasty. Just like, in fact, you'd expect something called "Sugar Coated Corn Puffs" to taste. > You check your inventory You are carrying: some Chinese food a toy a red cardboard box (which is open but empty) a juice glass some cold water a diskette case "Curses" > Water plant You carefully water the plant, wishing that you had someone to nurture you. Lucky plant. > You examine the case This looks very much like every other cheap open-topped plastic disposable diskette case you've ever seen, although the "Made In Hell" label is a little disturbing. It looks like it could hold about seven disks. It seems to contain "Hollywood Hijinx" and "Curses". > You eat plant (first taking the variegated mimesis plant) You greedily snatch at the mimesis. You gluttonously take a bite out of one of the plant's leaves. It's really nasty. Ugh. > Inventory You are carrying: a variegated mimesis plant some Chinese food a toy a red cardboard box (which is open but empty) a juice glass a diskette case "Planetfall" "Zork I" "Hollywood Hijinx" "Curses" > You examine Zork A floppy disk labelled "Zork I". > You hit the plant You angrily rip a leaf from the mimesis plant. > Full You have so far scored 5 out of a possible 7, in 64 turns, earning you the rank of Malingerer. The score is made up as follows: 1 Gluttony 1 Wrath 1 Envy 5 total (out of 7) > Kiss plant You plant a kiss on the mimesis. > You go to the west The bedroom is pretty grim these days. It's a beige rectangular prism with a bed in it. There are also the usual bedroomy things: dressers, a lamp, a nightstand, and so on. > You look under the bed No monsters, no trap doors, no dollar bills. Nothing but dust. > You look at the dresser Just the bric-a-brac of a standard adult bedroom. You don't want to think about it. If you think you do, go check out the bathroom or kitchen scenery instead. Author's Note: Sure, I could make a dresser and nightstand with opening drawers, a lamp you could turn on and off, a headboard you could tie things to, box springs for the bed, carpeting with repulsive items ground into it, and a sock drawer full of real live socks. But I won't. This is just scenery and it's going to stay that way. (Yes, just like the bathroom scenery.) > You examine the lamp Just the bric-a-brac of a standard adult bedroom. You don't want to think about it. If you think you do, go check out the bathroom or kitchen scenery instead. (Yes, just like the bathroom scenery.) > You look at the bed Your bed is a lovely four-poster king-size bed, made out of finely carved cherry wood. It's much too big for you alone, you can't help but realize.

[Themes: Satire, parody] > Describe the surroundings The bedroom is pretty grim these days. It's a beige rectangular prism with a bed in it. There are also the usual bedroomy things: dressers, a lamp, a nightstand, and so on. On the bed is a variegated mimesis plant. > You get on the bed You get onto the bed. On the bed you can see a variegated mimesis plant. > Sleep You toss and turn, but the bed is simply far too big to sleep in alone, and you sent Blamant the Teddy Bear out to be cleaned this morning. > Sleep You clutch the mimesis plant to your chest, and fall into a troubled sleep, haunted with dreams of chessboards and featureless white cubes. > You get off the bed You get off the bed. The bedroom is pretty grim these days. It's a beige rectangular prism with a bed in it. There are also the usual bedroomy things: dressers, a lamp, a nightstand, and so on. > Go east This is the living room of your rather squalid apartment. The huge compass rose on your floor reminds you that your bedroom is west, the front hall is north, the kitchen is east, and the bathroom is south. > You go north This is the front hall; a door north leads outside, and the living room is to the south. A devil, looking for all the world like a cross between the BSD Unix devil and Bill Gates, slouches insolently in the corner. The door is closed. > You examine devil He is a jolly, fat little devil, with thick glasses, a Moe haircut, short but sharp-looking horns, a long tail with a barb on the end, a pink T-shirt reading "IETF 28 Terminal Room", Birkenstocks (which look particularly silly on his hooves), too-tight cordouroy pants, and a pocket protector. His complexion manages, through the mysteries of the supernatural, to be simultaneously firebrick red and pasty white. > Hi The devil glares at you and mumbles, "Bletch foobar to you too!" > Kiss devil "No, you nincompoop! <snort> I'm not the target of your sins!" > You ask devil about the devil "Bob's the name! Interactive fiction's the game! Well, actually, the meta-game, I guess, because 'the game' properly ought to refer to an actual title, such as Jigsaw or something. Say, <snort>, can I go out with your sister? > Pray Nothing practical results from your prayer. > Yes "You <snort> can't make me! I'm supernatural." > You ask the devil about the plant " A hardy houseplant. I never was much into <snort> botany myself. Now, the <giggle> subtle manipulations of Turbo Pascal...<snort>" > You show the food to the devil The demon stares at you as if you are mad. > You ask the devil about the sins against the Mimesis "Sins, deadly. <snort> Pride, Avarice, Sloth <snort>, Gluttony, Envy, Wrath, and <giggle> Lust." > You ask the devil about the adam "NAK! NAK! Re-transmit! <snort>" > You ask the devil about Hollywood Hijinx "That's for me to know <snort> and you to play!" > Inventory You are carrying: a variegated mimesis plant some Chinese food a toy a red cardboard box (which is open but empty) a juice glass a diskette case "In The End" "The Incredibly Erotic Adventures of Stiffy Makane" "Beyond Zork" "Planetfall" "Zork I" "Hollywood Hijinx" "Curses" > Show case to devil The devil peers into the case. "So, you think you're a sinner, huh? Well, let's see...so far you have Sloth, Avarice, Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Wrath, <giggle snort> Lust, and that's the complete set. Good job! Tell you what. Diskettes are so <snort> archaic. Let me..." The devil takes your diskette case and squeezes it hard while chanting "Fee, Fie, Foe, Foo!" Squashing it into a CD, he hands it to you. Then he gestures with his finger, and the front door swings open. > Inventory You are carrying: "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition" a variegated mimesis plant some Chinese food a toy a red cardboard box (which is open but empty) a juice glass > Examine cd A sparkling CD-ROM, with an attractive logo proclaiming it to be Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction. > You ask the devil about the CD "That's for me to know <snort> and you to play!"

> Describe the surroundings This is the front hall; a door north leads outside, and the living room is to the south. A devil, looking for all the world like a cross between the BSD Unix devil and Bill Gates, slouches insolently in the corner. Through the open doorway, you can see a swirling violet mist, rather unlike the busy, dirty, and noisy street onto which it used to open. > You look at the mist This is probably what Hendrix was thinking of when he wrote his song. It is disturbingly opaque, and swirls around in an unsettling and faintly nauseating manner. > You ask devil about the mist "NAK! NAK! Re-transmit! <snort>" > You open door That's already open. > You get the mist That's hardly portable. > Smell mist Cardamom. Or is it coriander? > You go north As you step into the mist, everything becomes indistinct and hazy; you spin, receding ever-farther from consciousness. Everything goes black... Once upon a time, this was a scrapple factory. The floor would have been covered in piles of barely-identifiable pig parts, awash in blood and industrial chemicals. However, those times are long gone. The conveyor belt that used to connect the Scrappelizer to the reduction vat has long since rusted into immobility. There are no doors or windows; light comes from a bare light bulb hanging in the immense empty space. The rusted Scrappelizer squats to the north, and the vat is south. A rectangular hole allows access to the innards of the Scrappelizer. > You examine Scrappelizer The Scrappelizer was a fairly simple machine. You dumped pigs--or whatnot--into the hopper at the top, and with a hideous squealing noise, a mass of bloody pig--or whatnot--parts would emerge on the conveyor belt, to be carried to the vat, where heat, chemicals, and time would conspire to produce Scrapple. > You examine the bulb The bare light bulb, favored by tinpot dictators and goonish interrogators everywhere. > You enter hole Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled into a home, of sorts. It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete with multimedia PC. A rectangular hole allows access to the factory. You can also see the Kunkel here. The kunkel yelps. > You look at kunkel The Kunkel is small and troll-like. It squats before its computer, twitching occasionally as the virtual reality mittens on its hands control some action in the game going on in the VR goggles plugged into its computer. The kunkel flinches and swears. > You examine computer This must be the Kunkel's computer. It's the very latest in ultra-whiz-bang mega-expensive technology. It seems to have VR goggles, a CD-ROM drive, and big speakers. The computer is currently switched on. > You open the drive You open the CD-ROM drive. The Kunkel's game must have come to a screeching halt, because it stops twitching, swears, and thumbs the drive door shut before you can react. > You get the goggles As you approach, you see that the Kunkel's face has actually grown into the goggles. Revolted, you retreat. The kunkel yelps. > You turn off computer By doing so, you are striking at the very reason for the Kunkel's existence. It is not pleased. "Please excuse the crudity of what I'm about to do, you text-based Neanderthal, but my ancestors were AGT monsters." Its mouth opens to reveal teeth grotesquely out of proportion to the rest of its body, a fact you notice as those same teeth tear your flesh into tiny pieces. > Go south Once upon a time, this was a scrapple factory. The floor would have been covered in piles of barely-identifiable pig parts, awash in blood and industrial chemicals. However, those times are long gone. The conveyor belt that used to connect the Scrappelizer to the reduction vat has long since rusted into immobility. There are no doors or windows; light comes from a bare light bulb hanging in the immense empty space. The rusted Scrappelizer squats to the north, and the vat is south. A rectangular hole allows access to the innards of the Scrappelizer. > You give the CD to kunkel You can only do that to something animate. > You go south You are inside the rendering vat of the abandoned scrapple factory. Even now it reeks of despair and waste-meat food products. Great Scott! What can only be the rucksack of the Meldrews, fabled in song and story, lies here at the bottom of the rendering vat. > You take the rucksack You're carrying too many things already. > You examine it Actually, it's very tatty and greasy, saturated with long-rancid lard, stained with blood (or worse), and beginning to give at the seams. It is open and contains a tourist map of Paris and the Rod of Returning. > You put the toy in the box Which do you mean, the Chinese food or the red cardboard box? > Red You put the toy into the red cardboard box. > You examine the map An exorbitantly expensive map of Paris circa 1993. > You examine Rod One of the last remaining bits of Druidical Magic. > Go north Once upon a time, this was a scrapple factory. The floor would have been covered in piles of barely-identifiable pig parts, awash in blood and industrial chemicals. However, those times are long gone. The conveyor belt that used to connect the Scrappelizer to the reduction vat has long since rusted into immobility. There are no doors or windows; light comes from a bare light bulb hanging in the immense empty space. The rusted Scrappelizer squats to the north, and the vat is south. A rectangular hole allows access to the innards of the Scrappelizer. > You go north Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled into a home, of sorts. It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete with multimedia PC. A rectangular hole allows access to the factory. You can also see the Kunkel here. > You hold Rod (putting the juice glass into the rucksack to make room) With a 'pop' and a whiff of ozone, the devil appears. "Look, I <snort> shouldn't be doing this, but if you're one of the last three people in <snort> the world who hasn't played Curses then maybe you need some instructions. To charge the rod, 'strike rod.' To use it 'point rod at <target>.' Got it?" There is another 'pop' and the devil is gone. Taken. > Strike rod The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or something like that. > Point rod at pc A flash of white light engulfs the computer, but nothing else happens. The kunkel flinches and swears. > You examine the goggles It's hard to see the goggles clearly, since they're on the Kunkel's face, and consequently twitching and swerving around. The kunkel flinches and swears. > You point it at the goggles You look ridiculous pointing the VR goggles at the VR goggles. > You look at what you're carrying with you You are carrying: the Rod of Returning a rucksack (which is open) a juice glass a tourist map of Paris "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition" a variegated mimesis plant some Chinese food a red cardboard box (which is open) a toy > You point it at yourself The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or something like that. A flash of white light engulfs you, but nothing else happens. > Strike rod The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or something like that. The kunkel flinches and swears. > You point Rod at kunkel A flash of white light engulfs the Kunkel, but nothing else happens. The kunkel yelps. > You point it at Rod The rod is already charged. A flash of white light engulfs the Rod of Returning, but nothing else happens. The kunkel yelps. > You eat rod That's plainly inedible. > You examine the map An exorbitantly expensive map of Paris circa 1993. > You give the toy to kunkel (first taking the toy) (putting the red cardboard box into the rucksack to make room) The Kunkel is far too engrossed in its multimedia extravaganza to notice you. The kunkel yelps.

[Themes: Satire] > Look around Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled into a home, of sorts. It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete with multimedia PC. A rectangular hole allows access to the factory. You can also see the Kunkel here. The kunkel flinches and swears. > Examine pc This must be the Kunkel's computer. It's the very latest in ultra-whiz-bang mega-expensive technology. It seems to have VR goggles, a CD-ROM drive, and big speakers. The computer is currently switched on. The kunkel flinches and swears. > You turn off the pc By doing so, you are striking at the very reason for the Kunkel's existence. It is not pleased. "Please excuse the crudity of what I'm about to do, you text-based Neanderthal, but my ancestors were AGT monsters." Its mouth opens to reveal teeth grotesquely out of proportion to the rest of its body, a fact you notice as those same teeth tear your flesh into tiny pieces.

[Themes: Satire] > Look around Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled into a home, of sorts. It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete with multimedia PC. A rectangular hole allows access to the factory. > You enter the hole You can also see the Kunkel here. Once upon a time, this was a scrapple factory. The floor would have been covered in piles of barely-identifiable pig parts, awash in blood and industrial chemicals. However, those times are long gone. The conveyor belt that used to connect the Scrappelizer to the reduction vat has long since rusted into immobility. There are no doors or windows; light comes from a bare light bulb hanging in the immense empty space. The rusted Scrappelizer squats to the north, and the vat is south. A rectangular hole allows access to the innards of the Scrappelizer. > You go south You are inside the rendering vat of the abandoned scrapple factory. Even now it reeks of despair and waste-meat food products. > You eat the food With your bare hands? You have better manners than that. > You examine the belt The Scrappelizer was a fairly simple machine. You dumped pigs--or whatnot--into the hopper at the top, and with a hideous squealing noise, a mass of bloody pig--or whatnot--parts would emerge on the conveyor belt, to be carried to the vat, where heat, chemicals, and > You point it at the scrapplizer time would conspire to produce Scrapple. The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or something like that. You can't see any such thing. > You point it at Scrappelizer The rod is already charged. A flash of white light engulfs the Scrappelizer, but nothing else happens. > You go north Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled into a home, of sorts. It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete with multimedia PC. A rectangular hole allows access to the factory. You can also see the Kunkel here. > You check what you're carrying You are carrying: a toy the Rod of Returning a rucksack (which is open) a red cardboard box (which is open but empty) a juice glass a tourist map of Paris "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition" a variegated mimesis plant some Chinese food > You put the CD in the pc The computer is closed. The kunkel yelps. > You open the computer You open the CD-ROM drive. The Kunkel's game must have come to a screeching halt, because it stops twitching, swears, and thumbs the drive door shut before you can react. The kunkel flinches and swears. > You point it at CD The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or something like that. A flash of white light engulfs "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition", but nothing else happens. The kunkel yelps. > You point it at the plant The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or something like that. A flash of white light engulfs the variegated mimesis plant, but nothing else happens. The kunkel yelps. > You point it at the toy The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or something like that. The kunkel yelps. A flash of white light engulfs the toy, but nothing else happens. > You examine the plant The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or something like that. A flash of white light engulfs the Kunkel, but nothing else happens. The kunkel flinches and swears. This is a prizewinning specimen of the species Mimesis Variegans. It is dark green, with yellow stripes on its luxurious leaves. The mimesis plant thrives in low light and requires occasional watering. You've always preferred the variegated to the linear variety, yourself. This one is about ten inches high. A large bite has been taken out of one leaf. It appears well-loved. One of the leaves is ripped. > You point it at the cd drive The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or something like that. I only understood you as far as wanting to point the Rod of Returning at "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition". > You throw the plant at Kunkel The Kunkel somehow senses your impending attack. It rises and faces you. "Please excuse the crudity of what I'm about to do, you text-based Neanderthal, but my ancestors were AGT monsters." Its mouth opens to reveal teeth grotesquely out of proportion to the rest of its body, a fact you notice as those same teeth tear your flesh into tiny pieces. > Examine pc This must be the Kunkel's computer. It's the very latest in ultra-whiz-bang mega-expensive technology. It seems to have VR goggles, a CD-ROM drive, and big speakers. The computer is currently switched on. The kunkel yelps. > Full You have so far scored 8 out of a possible 10, in 209 turns, earning you the rank of Scrapple Warrior. > You look at speakers The score is made up as follows: 1 Lust 1 Gluttony 1 Sloth 1 Wrath 1 Envy 1 Getting the Rod of Returning 8 total (out of 10) This must be the Kunkel's computer. It's the very latest in ultra-whiz-bang mega-expensive technology. It seems to have VR goggles, a CD-ROM drive, and big speakers. The computer is currently switched on. > You get map (putting the Chinese food into the rucksack to make room) Taken. > You hit Kunkel The Kunkel somehow senses your impending attack. It rises and faces you. "Please excuse the crudity of what I'm about to do, you text-based Neanderthal, but my ancestors were AGT monsters." Its mouth opens to reveal teeth grotesquely out of proportion to the rest of its body, a fact you notice as those same teeth tear your flesh into tiny pieces. > You get the goggles As you approach, you see that the Kunkel's face has actually grown into the goggles. Revolted, you retreat. > You examine drive This must be the Kunkel's computer. It's the very latest in ultra-whiz-bang mega-expensive technology. It seems to have VR goggles, a CD-ROM drive, and big speakers. The computer is currently switched on. The kunkel yelps. > You pull the goggles Nothing obvious happens. > You pull the drive It is fixed in place. > You turn off the goggles That's not something you can switch. The kunkel yelps. > You unplug the goggles You unplug the VR goggles. The Kunkel sits stock-still, stunned by the loss of visual input. > You open the computer You open the computer, revealing a CD labelled "Stiffy Makane, Space Marine". The Kunkel begins to fumble for the cord of its VR goggles. > You put the CD in computer Which do you mean, a CD labelled "Stiffy Makane, Space Marine" or "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition"? > Masterpieces There is no more room in the computer. The Kunkel blunders around trying to reconnect the goggles. > You get stiffy (putting the variegated mimesis plant into the rucksack to make room) Taken. It looks as if the Kunkel is about to succeed in plugging in the goggles. > You put the Masterpieces in the computer You put "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition" into the computer. The Kunkel manages to plug the goggles back into the computer. The Kunkel sighs and closes the CD-ROM drive. The Kunkel, not suspecting your ruse, shrieks as wave after wave of pure text pummels its senses. With a sickening 'schlupp' the VR goggles explode from the Kunkel's face as its head splits open and it keels over, dead.

[Themes: Satire] > You look at your surroundings Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled into a home, of sorts. It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete with multimedia PC. A rectangular hole allows access to the factory. You can also see the Kunkel and a pair of VR goggles here. > You look at Kunkel The dead Kunkel lies on the ground, its head blown open and its eyes popped out, revealing the emptiness of its cranial cavity. > You look at stiffy It's a garishly printed CD entitled Stiffy Makane, Space Marine. > You examine the goggles A pair of slightly charred VR goggles, currently plugged into the computer. > Wear the goggles (first taking the VR goggles) Wow! Virtual reality really does work! With a sensation of great speed, you are transported to.... If nothing else, you have a good seat. The stage is only a few rows to the north. People are jammed on benches in every direction; you think the aisle is somewhere to the west. > Inventory You are carrying: a CD labelled "Stiffy Makane, Space Marine" a tourist map of Paris a toy the Rod of Returning a rucksack (which is open) a variegated mimesis plant some Chinese food a red cardboard box (which is open but empty) a juice glass

> You look around You are on a wide lawn just north of the entrance to the Robner estate. Directly north at the end of a pebbled path is the Robner house, flanked to the northeast and northwest by a vast expanse of well-kept lawn. Beyond the house can be seen the lakefront.

> You look around This is a featureless corridor similar to every other corridor on the ship. It curves away to starboard, and a gangway leads up. To port is the entrance to one of the ship's primary escape pods. The pod bulkhead is closed. > You go to the north You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door. > Go east A tide of perambulators surges north along the crowded Broad Walk. Shaded glades stretch away to the northeast, and a hint of color marks the western edge of the Flower Walk. > You point Rod at yourself A flash of white light engulfs you and you awaken on the hard metal floor of the Scrappelizer. The VR goggles lie next to you as you painfully regain your feet. Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled into a home, of sorts. It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete with multimedia PC. A rectangular hole allows access to the factory. You can also see a pair of VR goggles and the Kunkel here. > You open the drive You open the computer, revealing "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition". > You get the Masterpieces That's already open. Taken. > Close drive You close the computer. > Wear the goggles (first taking the VR goggles) Wow! Virtual reality really does work! With a sensation of great speed, you are transported to.... A dull metal corridor, lit by flickering lights. The corridor continues west and ends in a pink door to the northeast with a pink keyhole. Painted in drippy blood on the wall are the word Shangri-La and an arrow pointing west. The pink door bars passage to the northeast. You hear a sinister giggling from the west somewhere. > You listen You hear nothing unexpected. A fearsome "HONK, HONK!" echoes from the western corridor. > Inventory You are carrying: a pink key a big gun "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition" a tourist map of Paris a toy the Rod of Returning a rucksack (which is open) a variegated mimesis plant some Chinese food a red cardboard box (which is open but empty) a juice glass Loud, sensual moans are coming from the west and approaching rapidly. > You examine the gun BIG GUN KICK THE HELL OUTTA YOU! "Pwoik, pwoik, pwoik" resounds from the west, quite nearby. > You look at the key It is a pink cylindrical key, several inches long, and about an inch thick, with one rounded end. A girlish shriek comes from just down the corridor. > About you You stumble down the corridor and into a large room. A patrol of maurauding ultravixens has entered the area. Your big gun is no match for their power. Swiftly they crush you to death between their thighs. Please give one of the answers above. > About yourself Please give one of the answers above. > About yourself As good-looking as ever. A patrol of maurauding ultravixens has entered the area. Your big gun is no match for their power. Swiftly they crush you to death between their thighs. > You unlock door What do you want to unlock the pink door with? > Key You insert the key into the keyhole. It throbs and vanishes. The door opens, like a flower blooming. "Pwoik, pwoik, pwoik" resounds from the west, quite nearby. > You go to the northeast Ganymede Base Room J-14-B-3.2 This is a tiny room full of evil-looking machines and flashing lights. The only exit is southwest. You can see Black here. A girlish shriek comes from just down the corridor. > You look at machines Yes, this is just scenery. Just like in Doom. Just outside the door, someone screams "Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhh!" > You examine Black As attractive as ever. Black appears to be unconscious and bolted into some sort of evil-looking machine. "EEEEEK!" comes from the southwest > Kiss black This is hardly the time for romance. You hear a girlish voice reminiscing about the delights of "Cabin Boy", just to the southwest. > Strike rod The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or something like that. You hear the squeaking of silicone-enhanced breasts rubbing together, coming your way! > You point it at Black A flash of white light engulfs Black. There is a huge noise and white blots out your vision as the rod melts in your hands.... ....and, hours later, you awaken on the floor of the Scrappelizer, Black, crying, dabbing at your forehead with a cloth. "I'm really sorry," are Black's first words. "White was such a bore. Never let me do anything I wanted to, kept preventing me from wrecking history, always sketching animals in that dumb little book. So naturally I accepted a lift from the first cattle-mutilating ultravixen that came along, and you see where that got me. Thanks for rescuing me. The fate I would have suffered at the hands of those ultravixens..." Black (simply): Ah, my love. Can you forgive me? > No You: Your actual words have been censored, at the request of Andrew Plotkin, who feels like you should actually play his game So Far to find out what this response is. So go play it. When you get there, you'll understand. Black begins to weep, then looks confused, then looks angry, then looks resigned, then looks inspired, then looks determined. "I have no idea what you mean. I mean, you could mean that, no, you don't forgive me, and it doesn't matter what I did that needs forgiveness because it's far too late. Or maybe you mean that what I've done is irrelevant and thus you don't need to forgive me. Which strikes me as kind of arrogant, because I'd hardly call leaving you, attempting to destroy the multiverse, concealing both our genders through the course of a long and rocky relationship, and forgetting to water the plant irrelevant. Or maybe you..." Black's head shakes from side to side. "I dunno. But I do know one thing: you're stuck with me at least until we figure out how to get out of here." Then Black sees the houseplant: "My goodness, what have you done to that poor mimesis plant?" So it's not perfect. But what is? And, all things considered, at the end of the day you really can't think of anyone with whom you'd rather be trapped in an abandoned scrapple factory. *** You have won *** In that game you scored 10 out of a possible 10, in 250 turns, earning you the rank of Master Mimetic.

[Themes: Satire] > Yes That was a rhetorical question. A patrol of maurauding ultravixens has entered the area. Your big gun is no match for their power. Swiftly they crush you to death between their thighs. > Yes You: Your actual words have been censored, at the request of Andrew Plotkin, who feels like you should actually play his game So Far to find out what this response is. So go play it. When you get there, you'll understand. Black smiles through the tears. "That's really sweet of you, but you know you're full of it. There's a lot to forgive: leaving you, attempting to wreck the course of the Twentieth Century, forgetting to water the plant..." Black bursts into tears again. Then Black sees the houseplant: "My goodness, what have you done to that poor mimesis plant?" So it's not perfect. But what is? And, all things considered, at the end of the day you really can't think of anyone with whom you'd rather be trapped in an abandoned scrapple factory. *** You have won *** In that game you scored 10 out of a possible 10, in 250 turns, earning you the rank of Master Mimetic. > Maybe Please give one of the answers above. > Maybe Black blinks. "Oh. Yes. That's right. Now I remember why I left you in the first place. You're a wuss." Then Black picks up the Kunkel's corpse and beats you to death with it. > Y. That was a rhetorical question. > Tame There is no tame mode in this game! How would we ever sell Fox the rights to it? > Racy Racy mode on. > Lewd Lewd mode on. No age checks, no verification. Just raw, unadulterated lewdness. > Kiss plant There is a sharp crackling and a sudden smell of ozone, as something appears in your hand. You plant a kiss on the mimesis. Your kiss deepens. Your embrace becomes hot and heavy and you surrender to the delights of floral sex. In the words of Stiffy Makane, Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhh! > Fuck plant You plant a kiss on the mimesis. Your kiss deepens. Your embrace becomes hot and heavy and you surrender to the delights of floral sex. In the words of Stiffy Makane, Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhh! > You ask the devil about Bob "How did you know my <snort> name? Did you use DejaNews?" > Go east Your mimesis plant squats in its pot in a corner of the room, slowly photosynthesizing. This is your kitchen: walls papered in a yellow floral design, counter, cabinet, stove, table, chairs, fridge, microwave, and so on. The living room is west. On the counter is a juice glass (which is empty). > You examine the fork Your basic four-tined dinner fork. > You examine the counter This is a standard stained and scarred formica counter. It's white, where it isn't stained. > You look in the sink In the kitchen sink is a fork. > You press the button The microwave beeps petulantly. > You press the button You close the microwave. Oooh! Look at all the pretty, pretty sparks! > You open it You open the microwave, revealing a fork. > You examine the fork Your basic four-tined dinner fork. > You get the food You open the refrigerator, revealing some Chinese food. Taken. > You press the button There is no more room in the microwave. Taken. You close the microwave. The microwave hums briefly. > You eat it with the fork You open the microwave. You already have that. I only understood you as far as wanting to eat the Chinese food. > You put the food in the microwave You put the Chinese food into the microwave. > You press button You close the microwave. The tantalizing aroma of hot Chinese food assails your nostrils. > You eat it You open the microwave, revealing some Chinese food. Taken. It's actually pretty tasty. So tasty, in fact, that you eat the carton too in your enthusiasm. > You check what you're carrying You are carrying: a fork a diskette case "The Incredibly Erotic Adventures of Stiffy Makane"

[Themes: Satire] > You look at your surroundings This is your kitchen: walls papered in a yellow floral design, counter, cabinet, stove, table, chairs, fridge, microwave, and so on. The living room is west. > Kiss kunkel Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled into a home, of sorts. It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete with multimedia PC. A rectangular hole allows access to the factory. You can also see the Kunkel here. Ugh. The kunkel yelps. > You eat the rucksack (first taking the rucksack) You're carrying too many things already. > You put all in the sack "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition": Done. variegated mimesis plant: Done. Chinese food: Done. toy: Done. red cardboard box: Done. juice glass: Done. > You eat the rucksack (first taking the rucksack) That's plainly inedible. > Smell rucksack The sack smells revoltingly of pork byproducts. > You taste it Something like pork rinds, only really disgusting. > You go north Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled into a home, of sorts. It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete with multimedia PC. A rectangular hole allows access to the factory. You can also see the Kunkel here. The kunkel flinches and swears. > Smell kunkel The Kunkel smells of sweat, adrenaline, and poor hygiene. Add that to the stench of the Scrappelizer... The kunkel flinches and swears. > Taste kunkel No. The kunkel yelps. > Wear goggles (first taking the VR goggles) Wow! Virtual reality really does work! With a sensation of great speed, you are transported to.... The attics, full of low beams and awkward angles, begin here in a relatively tidy area which extends north, south and east. The wooden floorboards seem fairly sound, just as well considering how heavy all these teachests are. But the old wiring went years ago, and there's no electric light. > You get the map The bedroom is a mess. It is a small bedroom with a faded carpet and old wallpaper. There is a washbasin, a chair with a tatty dressing gown slung over it, and a window with the curtains drawn. Near the exit leading south is a phone. > You wait for a while A tide of perambulators surges north along the crowded Broad Walk. Shaded glades stretch away to the northeast, and a hint of color marks the western edge of the Flower Walk. > You wait for a while You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door. > You wait You stand at a point of decision on a road which makes a wide fork to the northeast and southeast, circling the base of the Lonely Mountain, which looms high overhead to the east. A very long and winding road starts here and stretches out of sight to the west through low, smoky hills. > You wait awhile You are standing at the end of a road before a small brick building. Around you is a forest. A small stream flows out of the building and down a gully. > Wait The bedroom is a mess. It is a small bedroom with a faded carpet and old wallpaper. There is a washbasin, a chair with a tatty dressing gown slung over it, and a window with the curtains drawn. Near the exit leading south is a phone. This is a featureless corridor similar to every other corridor on the ship. It curves away to starboard, and a gangway leads up. To port is the entrance to one of the ship's primary escape pods. The pod bulkhead is closed. > Wait An undistinguished bar, yet the social center of Upper Sandusky. The front door is almost lost amidst the hazy maze of neon that shrouds the grimy glass of the south wall. Doors marked "Ladies" and "Gents" lead, respectively, northeast and northwest. > Wait The attics, full of low beams and awkward angles, begin here in a relatively tidy area which extends north, south and east. The wooden floorboards seem fairly sound, just as well considering how heavy all these teachests are. But the old wiring went years ago, and there's no electric light. > You drop the map Well now, you just did an end run around the whole idea of the Curse Of The Meldrews, didn't you? Your impulsive action has destroyed the entire fabric of the multiverse, and you along with it. > You get the Masterpieces You open the computer, revealing "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition". Taken. > Wear goggles You put a CD labelled "Stiffy Makane, Space Marine" into the computer. (first taking the VR goggles) You put the goggles on, but they show nothing, so you remove them. > Wear the goggles You close the computer. Wow! Virtual reality really does work! With a sensation of great speed, you are transported to.... A dull metal corridor, lit by flickering lights. The corridor continues west and ends in a pink door to the northeast with a pink keyhole. Painted in drippy blood on the wall are the word Shangri-La and an arrow pointing west. The pink door bars passage to the northeast. You hear a sinister giggling from the west somewhere. > You go to the northeast You can't, since the pink door is in the way. A fearsome "HONK, HONK!" echoes from the western corridor. > Key You insert the key into the keyhole. It throbs and vanishes. The door opens, like a flower blooming. Loud, sensual moans are coming from the west and approaching rapidly. > Go northeast Ganymede Base Room J-14-B-3.2 This is a tiny room full of evil-looking machines and flashing lights. The only exit is southwest. You can see Black here. "Pwoik, pwoik, pwoik" resounds from the west, quite nearby. > You attack black You beast! Fortunately, (at least for karmic justice) before you can attack, there comes a noise from the doorway. A patrol of maurauding ultravixens has entered the area. Your big gun is no match for their power. Swiftly they crush you to death between their thighs.

[Themes: Fantasy, history, language, fantasy, swords, travel, Languages, archaeology, boat] A century after The Cleansing Rains and a decade since the False Era ended and knowledge of the world returned to humanity, civilization reappears as independent city-states vie for power and territory. The old borders are no more and new kingdoms struggle to emerge and flourish. Weary of war, destruction, and corruption, many of these sovereignties, such as Slezamane and Badushizd, seek to avoid conflicts with neighbors and adopt isolationist or diplomatic policies. Some, however, like the Sovereign State of Caleah, maintain the ways of war and aggression. Native of the ancient village of Euyesus, which sat unseen from most of the wars of the world, hidden beyond Fellwater Fen, you were raised in an erudite family and trained as an interpreter. Beyond the Common Tongue, which gained prevalence as a trade language, you also speak and read the bygone dialect, Ixteesh. It is this talent that brings you from Euyesus to Badushizd aboard one of your village's bilgescows; a swamp-treading barge used for the minimal trade that Euyesus does with a small handful of neighboring city-states. Travelling with you is an appointed minder, or what some call a bodyguard. He is a sweaty, foul-mouthed sot but he's a proven soldier and loyal to Euyesus and the errand at hand. His name is Venkath Mock. On a generally northeastern route, the bilgescow trudged through many miles of waterlogged swamp toward the strange and prosperous city of Badushizd. You have just woken and dressed, and the barge will reach the city's harbor by midday. This guest cabin barely gives one any real comfort, but on a no-frills boat such as this you're lucky to even have a room to yourself. There is no window as everything below deck is also below the bilge line. As the barge moves through the muddy swamp waters, a constant and hypnotic slushing sound gives the cabin a strange, claustrophobic feel. A wooden plank bed hangs from one of the walls; no pillow or blanket is provided, of course. A heavy wooden chair sits before a plank shelf hanging from another wall; this one being a simple desk surface. The only door is starboard (or east, as the boat is currently aimed north). Someone has slipped a note under your door. On the wooden plank shelf is a glowstone lantern (providing light). You can also see a leather haversack (closed) here. [Author's Note: Your family is known to be expert language keepers in your village. Your specialty is an ancient, dead language called Ixteesh. You never thought it would be useful for much of anything, but then you are summoned to the city many days away. Something has been found and someone who knows Ixteesh is needed. Now, you have been sent on this errand and you'll soon learn there is danger in this task.] > You take all mysterious note: You pick up the mysterious note from the ground. leather haversack: You pick up the leather haversack from the ground. glowstone lantern: You take the glowstone lantern from the wooden plank shelf. > About yourself You are Polt Kober, a young man from the village of Euyesus. You are fifteen years old and small for your age. Like most of the young people in your village, you wear your hair long. Otherwise, you consider yourself unremarkable. Your only real talent is that you're fluent in Ixteesh, an ancient, dead language, along with the Common Tongue. > You read the note You are in danger. Check Rakton's cabin. > You look at the haversack This handy, leather satchel can be worn and used to carry many items. > You look at the lantern It's your basic traveling lantern, but instead of a flame within, its luminescence emits from a glowing, round stone, about the size of a fist, instead. Some glowstone lanterns can be closed to block the light. This isn't one of those, though. > You wear the sack You put on the leather haversack.

> Look around This guest cabin barely gives one any real comfort, but on a no-frills boat such as this you're lucky to even have a room to yourself. There is no window as everything below deck is also below the bilge line. As the barge moves through the muddy swamp waters, a constant and hypnotic slushing sound gives the cabin a strange, claustrophobic feel. A wooden plank bed hangs from one of the walls; no pillow or blanket is provided, of course. A heavy wooden chair sits before a plank shelf hanging from another wall; this one being a simple desk surface. The only door is starboard (or east, as the boat is currently aimed north). > You open the sack You open the leather haversack, revealing Elements of Ixteesh and Phandaal's letter. > You read the letter Don't be a damn fool while you are away from the village. Remember, you are representing House Kober. Also, be sure to stay near Venkath Mock. He is there to protect you on this errand. As for that, when you reach Badushizd, seek Deviah at the Vulgar Unicorn tavern. She is the go-between and will take you where you need to be. Be swift in this task and return home safe, son. -Headman Phandaal Kober > You look at what you're carrying with you You are carrying: a glowstone lantern (providing light) a leather haversack (being worn and open) Elements of Ixteesh Phandaal's letter a mysterious note some traveling clothes (being worn) a small black scabbard (being worn) an antecessor skean > You examine the scabbard It is made of black leather and has silver fittings. It can be worn from the belt or waist. In the small black scabbard is an antecessor skean. > You examine the skean So named because it's been handed down in the Kober family for generations, this is a double-edged dagger with an ornate hilt. > You look at the clothes They are well-worn, comfortable, and they offer you a modicum of protection from the elements. > Go east (first opening guest door) This is the fore end of the centerline passageway that runs down the center of the barge, belowdecks. The craft is heading north and this end of the passage has doors all around but to the south, where the passage continues toward the stern. A short ramp slopes upwards to the northeast, taking one topside. A heavy, ironwood table is situated here with a chair of matching wood and age. Belowdecks, the air here has a hanging moisture. On the ironwood table is an old glowcube (providing light). Venkath Mock is leaning against the ironwood table, killing time until the bilgescow reaches Badushizd Rakton, the First Mate, is here. You can also see Warpeye (the cat) here. Warpeye the cat scratches under his chin with his hind paw. Rakton looks around absently. Warpeye (the cat) goes west. > You show the note to mock Venkath Mock inspects the mysterious note. "Well, we're not far from Badushizd. Stay close until we get there," He tells you. Ostothas arrives from the south. > You kill Rakton with skean (first taking the antecessor skean) That wouldn't be too effective, you feel. Ostothas exhales, letting his lips flap like a horse's. Ostothas goes east. Ostothas closes and locks mate's door. > You go to the east (first opening mate's door) You figure it might be best not to try to enter the First Mate's cabin when he's here in the room with you. > You show the note to Rakton You are about to ask Rakton what he thought of the note you found, but you realize that since it mentions him as potentially dangerous, it might not be a good idea. Apparently, Rakton is in a huff. > You talk to Rakton You are already talking to Rakton. Venkath adjusts his scabbard and belt. > Topics You could ask Rakton about Rakton. > You ask Rakton about Rakton "I've never seen you around in Euyesus." You speak to the First Mate. He looks your way for a moment but then basically ignores you. Rakton noisily cracks his knuckles. Venkath stretches his arms, eager to get off this boat. > You ask Rakton about the boat There is no reply. Rakton looks around absently. > You ask Rakton about yourself There is no reply. Rakton mumbles something about being excited to get to Badushizd. > You go northeast You're standing on the deck of The Rhinoceros. From here, you can see the extent of this barge-like craft. This deck is low to the water level as most of the ship is underwater. There is no railing as it's easier to move large cargo onboard that way. The only structure on the deck is toward the very bow (north). It's the wheelhouse, where the captain pilots the craft. The door into it is closed. Around the other parts of the deck, south, west, and southwest, you can see various crates of cargo stacked. At the very back of the ship, you can see the wide stern wheel ceaselessly paddling the ship northwards, rhythmically chugging through the desolate, waterlogged swamp. A wide, short ramp leads down to belowdecks. It is stained from boot traffic and swamp water. The bilgescow passes close to the black willow trees on the sides of the waterway. > You go north (first opening Wheelhouse door) This forward enclosure is the wheelhouse of the bilgescow. Glassless windows open the walls forward, port, and starboard and the door to the rest of the boat is stern (south). The eponymous wheel is one solid piece of red oak and is fixed in the center of the forward opening. A small closed hatch in the floor leads below deck. Tauzius, the captain of The Rhinoceros, stands by the wheel, casually tending to it. He stares out at the waterways and swamp trees, only giving you a glance. Outside of the wheelhouse, a strange, swampy smell drifts in. Tauzius scratches his beard thoughtfully. > Smell You smell nothing unexpected. Tauzius watches you warily. > You examine the wheel The ship's wheel is one solid piece of red oak and is fixed in the center of the forward opening. > You talk to the captain You are already talking to Tauzius. Outside of the wheelhouse, loud buzzing insects create a clamor. The captain glances around the scenery outside the wheelhouse enclosure. > Topics You could ask Tauzius about Tauzius or the mysterious note. Outside of the wheelhouse, you spy a large snake slithering on the surface of the brackish water. > You ask about the note "Someone slid a note under my door some time before morning." You tell the Captain, "It warns me about your first mate." Captain Tauzius looks pensive for a moment. Finally, he says, "Rakton signed on a few days ago. I haven't been totally sold on him, really. He's a bit too. . .distant for my liking." Tauzius looks out the glassless windows. "I don't know who gave you that warning, shaver. You should avoid Rakton, I guess. And I will keep my eye on him."

[Themes: Fantasy, swords, archaeology, boat, history, Languages, travel] > Go downward (first opening the small hatch) Not opulent but certainly a step-up from the cabin you were given, the captain's room is a large cabin situated below the ship's wheelhouse. In fact, a short spiral staircase leads up to it through a small hatch. The bed is a simple mattress within a heavy wooden frame. An actual ironwood roll-top desk sits against a wall. A heavy chair sits before it. Over the desk, a detailed map of the swamp waterways hangs. Finally, a wide trunk sits nearby and an exit is to the south. > You enter bed You get onto the ironwood bed. > You jump You jump on the spot. > You look at the desk The desk's dark wood is a bit incongruous to the rest of the damp but lighter colored wood of this ship. Currently, the desk's roll-top is shut. > You open the desk You open the roll-top desk, revealing a celestial slide rule. > You take all celestial slide rule: You take the celestial slide rule from the roll-top desk. > You open the trunk It seems to be locked.

[Themes: Fantasy, boat, travel, swords, Languages] > Look around Captain's Cabin (on the ironwood bed) Not opulent but certainly a step-up from the cabin you were given, the captain's room is a large cabin situated below the ship's wheelhouse. In fact, a short spiral staircase leads up to it through a small hatch. The bed is a simple mattress within a heavy wooden frame. An actual ironwood roll-top desk sits against a wall. A heavy chair sits before it. Over the desk, a detailed map of the swamp waterways hangs. Finally, a wide trunk sits nearby and an exit is to the south. > You look at the map This map only details the swampy waterways that surround the village of Euyesus. Other villages dot the map but the only symbol for a city is in its upper right corner, where Badushizd is faintly tucked. > You examine the rule It appears to be a tube, like a small scroll case, perhaps. The ends can be twisted and turned and along the length of the tube, mathematical equations to aid in navigation appear and change when you do so. > Turn rule Nothing obvious happens. > You go upwards You would have to get off the ironwood bed first. > You get off You get off the ironwood bed. Not opulent but certainly a step-up from the cabin you were given, the captain's room is a large cabin situated below the ship's wheelhouse. In fact, a short spiral staircase leads up to it through a small hatch. The bed is a simple mattress within a heavy wooden frame. An actual ironwood roll-top desk sits against a wall. A heavy chair sits before it. Over the desk, a detailed map of the swamp waterways hangs. Finally, a wide trunk sits nearby and an exit is to the south. > Go south (first opening the captain's door) It seems to be locked. > Go upwards This forward enclosure is the wheelhouse of the bilgescow. Glassless windows open the walls forward, port, and starboard and the door to the rest of the boat is stern (south). The eponymous wheel is one solid piece of red oak and is fixed in the center of the forward opening. A small open hatch in the floor leads below deck. Tauzius, the captain of The Rhinoceros, stands by the wheel, casually tending to it. He stares out at the waterways and swamp trees, only giving you a glance. Outside of the wheelhouse, the black willow trees crowd the waterway. > You give the rule to Captain You hand the strange device over to the Captain. In return, he takes a small jar out of his pocket and hands it to you. Outside of the wheelhouse, a strange, swampy smell drifts in. Tauzius scratches his beard thoughtfully. > You look at the jar This is a small jar made of strong glass. In the small jar is some weird dirt. Outside of the wheelhouse, a couple of fishermen row past the bilgescow. > You ask Captain about the jar "So. . .a small jar filled with some weird dirt is supposed to keep me safe in my travels?" You ask, skeptical. "Throw the dirt at your enemies." Tauzius explains, still casually handling the wheel, "It will buy you some time." Outside of the wheelhouse, the bilgescow travels past a lone fisherman in a small boat. "So. . .a small jar filled with some weird dirt is supposed to keep me safe in my travels?" You ask, skeptical. "Throw the dirt at your enemies." Tauzius explains, still casually handling the wheel, "It will buy you some time." > You open the jar You open the small jar. > Smell the dirt You smell nothing unexpected. Tauzius steers the wheel starboard to a bit. > You throw the dirt at Captain (first taking the weird dirt) You pour the weird dirt from the small jar into your hand. That would just cause trouble right now. > You eat the dirt That's plainly inedible. Outside of the wheelhouse, something splashes in the water beside the boat. The captain steers the wheel to port a bit. > Topics You have nothing specific in mind to discuss with Tauzius right now. Outside of the wheelhouse, loud buzzing insects create a clamor. Tauzius scratches his beard thoughtfully. > Go south You're standing on the deck of The Rhinoceros. From here, you can see the extent of this barge-like craft. This deck is low to the water level as most of the ship is underwater. There is no railing as it's easier to move large cargo onboard that way. The only structure on the deck is toward the very bow (north). It's the wheelhouse, where the captain pilots the craft. The door into it is open. Around the other parts of the deck, south, west, and southwest, you can see various crates of cargo stacked. At the very back of the ship, you can see the wide stern wheel ceaselessly paddling the ship northwards, rhythmically chugging through the desolate, waterlogged swamp. A wide, short ramp leads down to belowdecks. It is stained from boot traffic and swamp water. The bilgescow travels past a small, derelict shack on the edge of the waterway.

[Themes: Fantasy, travel, Languages, boat, swords, fantasy] > Go downward This is the fore end of the centerline passageway that runs down the center of the barge, belowdecks. The craft is heading north and this end of the passage has doors all around but to the south, where the passage continues toward the stern. A short ramp slopes upwards to the northeast, taking one topside. A heavy, ironwood table is situated here with a chair of matching wood and age. Belowdecks, the air here has a hanging moisture. Rakton, the First Mate, is here. One of the crew, Ostothas, is here. On the ironwood table is an old glowcube (providing light). Venkath Mock is absently meandering about, waiting for this trip to be over Rakton goes west. > You go west This guest cabin barely gives one any real comfort, but on a no-frills boat such as this you're lucky to even have a room to yourself. There is no window as everything below deck is also below the bilge line. As the barge moves through the muddy swamp waters, a constant and hypnotic slushing sound gives the cabin a strange, claustrophobic feel. A wooden plank bed hangs from one of the walls; no pillow or blanket is provided, of course. A heavy wooden chair sits before a plank shelf hanging from another wall; this one being a simple desk surface. The only door is starboard (or east, as the boat is currently aimed north). Rakton, the First Mate, is here. You can also see Warpeye (the cat) here. > You throw the dirt at Rakton That would just cause trouble right now. Warpeye (the cat) goes east. > Topics You aren't talking to anyone right now. Rakton looks around absently. > Go east This is the fore end of the centerline passageway that runs down the center of the barge, belowdecks. The craft is heading north and this end of the passage has doors all around but to the south, where the passage continues toward the stern. A short ramp slopes upwards to the northeast, taking one topside. A heavy, ironwood table is situated here with a chair of matching wood and age. Belowdecks, the air here has a hanging moisture. One of the crew, Ostothas, is here. On the ironwood table is an old glowcube (providing light). Venkath Mock is leaning against the ironwood table, killing time until the bilgescow reaches Badushizd You can also see Warpeye (the cat) here. Ostothas sniffles. Venkath looks at your small black scabbard. > You go to the east (first opening mate's door) It seems to be locked. Warpeye the cat stares off into space. Ostothas exhales, letting his lips flap like a horse's. Venkath paces the room, impatient for this trip to be over. > You ask Ostothas about the door Which do you mean, guest door, mate's door, the captain's door or Wheelhouse door? > Topics You aren't talking to anyone right now. Ostothas watches you warily. > You talk to Ostothas You say hello to Ostothas. Venkath looks at your small black scabbard. (You could ask Ostothas about Ostothas or the mysterious note.) > You talk to the cat You say hello to Warpeye (the cat). You have nothing specific in mind to discuss with Warpeye (the cat) right now. > You ask the cat about the cat There is no reply. Warpeye (the cat) goes up. > You look at the glowstone (the glowstone lantern) It's your basic traveling lantern, but instead of a flame within, its luminescence emits from a glowing, round stone, about the size of a fist, instead. Some glowstone lanterns can be closed to block the light. This isn't one of those, though. Warpeye (the cat) comes down from above. Venkath looks around with a peeved expression. > You ask Venkath about the dirt There is no reply. Venkath looks at your traveling clothes. > You take off clothes It's best to not go around without your clothes on. Venkath looks around with a peeved expression. > Examine pack (the leather haversack) This handy, leather satchel can be worn and used to carry many items. Phandaal's letter. Ostothas sniffles. Ostothas goes south. > You look at Venkath A tall man of grim countenance, Venkath Mock is one of the few soldiers of Euyesus. As such, he wears dark-stained, cloth armor with various small metal plates sewn into it for added protection; known as a jack-of-plate. On his back is a hooded cloak and on his belt is a sheathed sword. It's difficult to discern his age. Maybe he's three decades, maybe it's four. Warpeye the cat tilts his head as if hearing something. > You ask about the dirt There is no reply. Warpeye (the cat) goes south. > Show dirt (to Venkath Mock) "Thank you for showing me your weird dirt." Venkath stretches his arms, eager to get off this boat. > You show the sack to mock "Wow." Warpeye (the cat) arrives from the south. Ostothas arrives from the south. Venkath looks at your small black scabbard. > Topics You could ask Venkath Mock about Venkath Mock or the mysterious note; or tell Venkath Mock about yourself. > You tell Mock about yourself "Hmm." Warpeye the cat sneezes a tiny cat-sneeze. Ostothas examines the mate's door. > You tell Mock about yourself "That plank bed was brutal." You venture, "I would've gotten better rest sleeping on a giant crouton." Venkath stares at you for a long moment before resuming his vacant-eyed vigil. Ostothas exhales, letting his lips flap like a horse's. Venkath adjusts his scabbard and belt. > You show dirt to Ostothas "Thank you for showing me your weird dirt." Warpeye the cat stares toward the south. Ostothas goes south. Venkath stretches his arms, eager to get off this boat. > Go upwards You're standing on the deck of The Rhinoceros. From here, you can see the extent of this barge-like craft. This deck is low to the water level as most of the ship is underwater. There is no railing as it's easier to move large cargo onboard that way. The only structure on the deck is toward the very bow (north). It's the wheelhouse, where the captain pilots the craft. The door into it is open. Around the other parts of the deck, south, west, and southwest, you can see various crates of cargo stacked. At the very back of the ship, you can see the wide stern wheel ceaselessly paddling the ship northwards, rhythmically chugging through the desolate, waterlogged swamp. A wide, short ramp leads down to belowdecks. It is stained from boot traffic and swamp water. You spy a large snake slithering on the surface of the brackish water. > You go to the south This part of the deck is the starboard cargo deck. From here, you can see the extent of this barge-like craft. This deck is low to the water level as most of the ship is underwater. There is no railing as it's easier to move large cargo onboard that way. The only structure on the deck is toward the very bow (north). It's the wheelhouse, where the captain pilots the craft. The door into it is open. Around the other parts of the deck, north, west, and northwest, you can see various crates of cargo stacked. At the very back of the ship, you can see the wide stern wheel ceaselessly paddling the ship northwards, rhythmically chugging through the desolate, waterlogged swamp. On the edge of the deck here, a stovepipe juts upward from the galley below. A flock of swamp birds fly low in the sky. > You examine the pipe This is a wide stovepipe jutting up from the edge of the deck. It leads to the stove in the galley belowdecks. The bilgescow passes close to the black willow trees on the sides of the waterway. > Go west This is the port cargo deck of The Rhinoceros. From here, you can see the extent of this barge-like craft. This deck is low to the water level as most of the ship is underwater. There is no railing as it's easier to move large cargo onboard that way. The only structure on the deck is toward the very bow (north). It's the wheelhouse, where the captain pilots the craft. The door into it is open. Around the other parts of the deck, north, northeast, and east, you can see various crates of cargo stacked. At the very back of the ship, you can see the wide stern wheel ceaselessly paddling the ship northwards, rhythmically chugging through the desolate, waterlogged swamp. > You look at the cargo There are numerous cargo crates of various sizes on the deck of the bilgescow. > You go north This part of the deck is up by the wheelhouse and on the port side of the craft. From here, you can see the extent of this barge-like craft. This deck is low to the water level as most of the ship is underwater. There is no railing as it's easier to move large cargo onboard that way. The deck continues east, southeast, and south, where various cargo crates are stacked. > You go to the east You're standing on the deck of The Rhinoceros. From here, you can see the extent of this barge-like craft. This deck is low to the water level as most of the ship is underwater. There is no railing as it's easier to move large cargo onboard that way. The only structure on the deck is toward the very bow (north). It's the wheelhouse, where the captain pilots the craft. The door into it is open. Around the other parts of the deck, south, west, and southwest, you can see various crates of cargo stacked. At the very back of the ship, you can see the wide stern wheel ceaselessly paddling the ship northwards, rhythmically chugging through the desolate, waterlogged swamp. A wide, short ramp leads down to belowdecks. It is stained from boot traffic and swamp water. > You go east That would take you over the edge and into the swamp. > You jump You jump on the spot.

[Themes: Fantasy, swords, travel] > Go down This is the fore end of the centerline passageway that runs down the center of the barge, belowdecks. The craft is heading north and this end of the passage has doors all around but to the south, where the passage continues toward the stern. A short ramp slopes upwards to the northeast, taking one topside. A heavy, ironwood table is situated here with a chair of matching wood and age. Belowdecks, the air here has a hanging moisture. On the ironwood table is an old glowcube (providing light). Venkath Mock is absently meandering about, waiting for this trip to be over You can also see Warpeye (the cat) here. Warpeye (the cat) goes west. Venkath fidgets with his travel pack. > You go south You are in the centerline passage running from the bow to the stern belowdecks. At this section, there are doors both port and starboard. Otherwise, you can head up or down the passage, from stem to stern. The air down here is thick with moisture and much of the wood around you is damp with condensation. One of the crew, Ostothas, is here. Ostothas examines the galley door. > You enter the galley (first opening galley door) This small kitchenette is provided to prepare simple meals for the barge's crew. A small table is here; its top covered by a thick chopping block, marred from ages of use. A note of some sort is on it. A wide cupboard is fastened to one wall and a cast iron stove is against another. The stove's door is closed. The only exit is port (or west, currently). You can see Skayawa (the cat) here. > Pet cat Skayawa tilts her head and purrs as you stroke under her chin. Skayawa the cat sniffs around the cast iron stove. > You open the stove (the cast iron stove) You open the cast iron stove, revealing a pile of ashes. > You take the ashes You don't find anything in the ashes. Skayawa the cat scratches under her chin with her hind paw. > You examine the ashes This is a pile of fine, gray ashes; the remains of the previous night's fire within. Skayawa the cat stares at one of the walls. > You take the note (the important note) You take the important note from the chopping block. > You read important Amalek, The stove pipe is clogged again. Get to this asap. -Rakton > You examine the cupboard This is a wide, wooden cabinet attached to one of the walls of this galley. Its purpose, obviously, is to hold the crew's rations. It is currently closed. Skayawa the cat stares at the cast iron stove. > You open the cupboard You open the wide cupboard, revealing a supply of food and a chunk of cheese. > You take all supply of food: None of that food belongs to you. chunk of cheese: (putting the mysterious note into the leather haversack to make room) You take the chunk of cheese from the wide cupboard. pile of ashes: You don't find anything in the ashes. lumpy glowstone: The wall sconce isn't open. > You open the sconce It seems that the little door on the iron cage sconce is sealed shut. > You examine the cheese It's a moldy chunk of cheese. It doesn't look too appetizing to you. > You examine the block This is a thick block of wood, completely covering the top of the small table. The block is marred and stained with ages of use. Skayawa the cat stares at the stovepipe.

[Themes: Fantasy, boat, travel, history, Languages] > Look around This small kitchenette is provided to prepare simple meals for the barge's crew. A small table is here; its top covered by a thick chopping block, marred from ages of use. A wide cupboard is fastened to one wall and a cast iron stove is against another. The stove's door is open. The only exit is port (or west, currently). You can see Skayawa (the cat) here. Skayawa the cat tilts her head as if hearing something. > You go west You are in the centerline passage running from the bow to the stern belowdecks. At this section, there are doors both port and starboard. Otherwise, you can head up or down the passage, from stem to stern. The air down here is thick with moisture and much of the wood around you is damp with condensation. One of the crew, Ostothas, is here. > You go south This is the end of the centerline passage, at the stern of the barge. There are doors port, starboard, and astern (south) here. A faded wooden plaque with writing on it is fastened to the stern door. Otherwise, you can head back north toward the bow. Here, below the bilge line, the air is thick with moisture and much of the wood around you is damp with condensation. > You go to the west (first opening storage door) This cabin is too small to be someone's quarters so instead it's used for random storage. Currently, only a large chest sits against a wall here. The only door is to the east (starboard). > Open chest It seems to be locked. > Go east This cabin is barely bigger than a broom closet. A patchwork hammock fills most of the space, strung between two of the walls. An old pillow sits on the floor in a corner, obviously now a bed for the ship's cats. Nearby, a food bowl and a water dish are provided, again, for the cats. The only exit is port (or west, currently). On the patchwork hammock is Amalek. > You show the important note to Amalek "Interesting." > You look at the boy Despite his title, he's actually a couple of years older than you, but still the crew's youngest. From what you've witnessed during the two days you've been on The Rhinoceros, Amalek is slow to actually get anything done and seems to shirk his duties expertly. > You ask Amalek about the pipe (the thick pipe) There is no reply. Amalek squints and looks at his book closer as if trying to make something out. > Skayawa "Is Skayawa your cat?" You ask Amalek. He turns a page of his book, still reading, as he answers. "Well, he's the ship's cat, but I'm the one who cares for him, really." > You show dirt to the boy "Interesting." > You take all small leather book: That seems to belong to Amalek. small amount of water: You don't need to mess with the cats' water dish.

[Themes: Fantasy, swords, Languages, travel, archaeology] > Look around This cabin is barely bigger than a broom closet. A patchwork hammock fills most of the space, strung between two of the walls. An old pillow sits on the floor in a corner, obviously now a bed for the ship's cats. Nearby, a food bowl and a water dish are provided, again, for the cats. The only exit is port (or west, currently). On the patchwork hammock is Amalek. Amalek looks at you over his book to see what you're doing. > You examine the hammock The cabin boy must've gotten creative trying to solve the lack of a decent bed on this boat. The hammock is made of dozens of different rags, cloths, blankets, and what-not, all stitched together to make a cozy-looking place to sleep. On the patchwork hammock is Amalek. > You examine the pillow This is an old, beat-up pillow that the ship's cats use for a bed. > Go south (first opening the stern door) It seems to be locked. > Go north You are in the centerline passage running from the bow to the stern belowdecks. At this section, there are doors both port and starboard. Otherwise, you can head up or down the passage, from stem to stern. The air down here is thick with moisture and much of the wood around you is damp with condensation. > Go west A disagreeable smell permeates this room. Hammocks and low-hanging ropes are haphazardly arranged for the crew's sleeping needs. Random bits of clothes and personal items are also strewn about. The only exit is a door to the east (starboard). Daxas is here, slowly sorting clothes and items, in a vain attempt at organization. Daxas finds something and puts it in his pocket. You weren't able to make out what it was. Daxas goes east. > You go to the east You are in the centerline passage running from the bow to the stern belowdecks. At this section, there are doors both port and starboard. Otherwise, you can head up or down the passage, from stem to stern. The air down here is thick with moisture and much of the wood around you is damp with condensation. You can see Daxas, one of the crewmates, here. > You talk to Daxas You say hello to Daxas. Daxas mumbles something to himself. (You could ask Daxas about Daxas or the mysterious note.) > You go north This is the fore end of the centerline passageway that runs down the center of the barge, belowdecks. The craft is heading north and this end of the passage has doors all around but to the south, where the passage continues toward the stern. A short ramp slopes upwards to the northeast, taking one topside. A heavy, ironwood table is situated here with a chair of matching wood and age. Belowdecks, the air here has a hanging moisture. You can see Daxas, one of the crewmates, here. On the ironwood table is an old glowcube (providing light). Venkath Mock is leaning against the ironwood table, absent-mindedly staring down the centerline passage > Go upwards You're standing on the deck of The Rhinoceros. From here, you can see the extent of this barge-like craft. This deck is low to the water level as most of the ship is underwater. There is no railing as it's easier to move large cargo onboard that way. The only structure on the deck is toward the very bow (north). It's the wheelhouse, where the captain pilots the craft. The door into it is open. Around the other parts of the deck, south, west, and southwest, you can see various crates of cargo stacked. At the very back of the ship, you can see the wide stern wheel ceaselessly paddling the ship northwards, rhythmically chugging through the desolate, waterlogged swamp. A wide, short ramp leads down to belowdecks. It is stained from boot traffic and swamp water. Daxas comes up from below. > You examine Daxas Daxas is maybe only five years your senior. He's a newer member of the crew of The Rhinoceros. He has a friendly enough face and he's large in both height and weight. > You go south This part of the deck is the starboard cargo deck. From here, you can see the extent of this barge-like craft. This deck is low to the water level as most of the ship is underwater. There is no railing as it's easier to move large cargo onboard that way. The only structure on the deck is toward the very bow (north). It's the wheelhouse, where the captain pilots the craft. The door into it is open. Around the other parts of the deck, north, west, and northwest, you can see various crates of cargo stacked. At the very back of the ship, you can see the wide stern wheel ceaselessly paddling the ship northwards, rhythmically chugging through the desolate, waterlogged swamp. On the edge of the deck here, a stovepipe juts upward from the galley below. > Clean pipe You rub the stovepipe. > You examine pipe This is a wide stovepipe jutting up from the edge of the deck. It leads to the stove in the galley belowdecks. > Inventory You are carrying: a chunk of cheese an important note some weird dirt a small jar (open but empty) an antecessor skean a glowstone lantern (providing light) a leather haversack (being worn and open) a mysterious note Elements of Ixteesh Phandaal's letter some traveling clothes (being worn) a small black scabbard (being worn) > You take the glowstone (the glowstone lantern) You already have that. > You read the ixteesh comprehension guide. You are fluent in the language, but this has been your trusty reference book for those rare times you need to double-check something. You've even made countless marginal notes in the tome, updating and expanding where necessary. A flock of swamp birds fly low in the sky. > You put the lantern in the pipe You need to take better care of your light source than that. The bilgescow passes close to the black willow trees on the sides of the waterway. > You move the pipe It is fixed in place. > Wave cheese You wave the chunk of cheese. Loud buzzing insects create a clamor around you. > You kick the pipe You give the stovepipe a solid kick. > You go north You're standing on the deck of The Rhinoceros. From here, you can see the extent of this barge-like craft. This deck is low to the water level as most of the ship is underwater. There is no railing as it's easier to move large cargo onboard that way. The only structure on the deck is toward the very bow (north). It's the wheelhouse, where the captain pilots the craft. The door into it is open. Around the other parts of the deck, south, west, and southwest, you can see various crates of cargo stacked. At the very back of the ship, you can see the wide stern wheel ceaselessly paddling the ship northwards, rhythmically chugging through the desolate, waterlogged swamp. A wide, short ramp leads down to belowdecks. It is stained from boot traffic and swamp water. A flock of swamp birds fly low in the sky.

[Themes: Fantasy, history, boat, swords] > You go downward This is the fore end of the centerline passageway that runs down the center of the barge, belowdecks. The craft is heading north and this end of the passage has doors all around but to the south, where the passage continues toward the stern. A short ramp slopes upwards to the northeast, taking one topside. A heavy, ironwood table is situated here with a chair of matching wood and age. Belowdecks, the air here has a hanging moisture. On the ironwood table is an old glowcube (providing light). Venkath Mock is leaning against the ironwood table, killing time until the bilgescow reaches Badushizd > You go south You are in the centerline passage running from the bow to the stern belowdecks. At this section, there are doors both port and starboard. Otherwise, you can head up or down the passage, from stem to stern. The air down here is thick with moisture and much of the wood around you is damp with condensation. > Go east This small kitchenette is provided to prepare simple meals for the barge's crew. A small table is here; its top covered by a thick chopping block, marred from ages of use. A wide cupboard is fastened to one wall and a cast iron stove is against another. The stove's door is open. The only exit is port (or west, currently). You can see Skayawa (the cat) here. > You take the cat You reach for Skayawa but she instantly darts around the room, avoiding your grasp. She doesn't appear afraid of you but rather she seems to think you're playing with her. Skayawa the cat stares at one of the walls. > You show cheese to the cat That wouldn't be of interest to the animal. Skayawa the cat stares toward the northwest. > Go north This is the fore end of the centerline passageway that runs down the center of the barge, belowdecks. The craft is heading north and this end of the passage has doors all around but to the south, where the passage continues toward the stern. A short ramp slopes upwards to the northeast, taking one topside. A heavy, ironwood table is situated here with a chair of matching wood and age. Belowdecks, the air here has a hanging moisture. On the ironwood table is an old glowcube (providing light). Venkath Mock is absently meandering about, waiting for this trip to be over > You take the glowcube This is the sort of glowcube that is meant to stay put as a room fixture. Plus, you wouldn't want any of the crew seeing you disturb their things. > You go east (first opening mate's door) It seems to be locked. Venkath stretches his arms, eager to get off this boat. > You go to the west A disagreeable smell permeates this room. Hammocks and low-hanging ropes are haphazardly arranged for the crew's sleeping needs. Random bits of clothes and personal items are also strewn about. The only exit is a door to the east (starboard). > Search clothes (the bits of clothes) You kick around some of the clothes but find nothing of use. > You kick the wood Which do you mean, the wood walls, the wood ceiling or the wooden plaque? > Walls You give the wood walls a solid kick. > You take the plaque That seems to be a part of the stern door. > You give the door a stern talking to Which do you mean, boy's door, storage door or the stern door? > Stern You can only do that to something animate. > Go east This cabin is barely bigger than a broom closet. A patchwork hammock fills most of the space, strung between two of the walls. An old pillow sits on the floor in a corner, obviously now a bed for the ship's cats. Nearby, a food bowl and a water dish are provided, again, for the cats. The only exit is port (or west, currently). On the patchwork hammock is Amalek. Amalek's dangling foot hits your shoulder. "You still here?" he asks. > You put the cheese in the bowl You put the chunk of cheese into the food bowl. Upon hearing something land in the food bowl, Skayawa the cat races into the room to investigate. > You wait for a while Time passes. Skayawa nibbles at the cheese in her food bowl. > Go east This small kitchenette is provided to prepare simple meals for the barge's crew. A small table is here; its top covered by a thick chopping block, marred from ages of use. A wide cupboard is fastened to one wall and a cast iron stove is against another. The stove's door is open. The only exit is port (or west, currently). > You close the door You close galley door. > You take all supply of food: None of that food belongs to you. pile of ashes: You don't find anything in the ashes. lumpy glowstone: The wall sconce isn't open. > You kick the sconce You give the wall sconce a solid kick. > You kick the pipe You give the thick pipe a solid kick. > You take the pipe That seems to be a part of the cast iron stove. > You open the door You open galley door. > You go east This cabin is barely bigger than a broom closet. A patchwork hammock fills most of the space, strung between two of the walls. An old pillow sits on the floor in a corner, obviously now a bed for the ship's cats. Nearby, a food bowl and a water dish are provided, again, for the cats. The only exit is port (or west, currently). On the patchwork hammock is Amalek. You can also see Skayawa (the cat) here. Skayawa sniffs at the cheese in her food bowl. > You look at Skayawa A small female cat, gray as a thundercloud, Skayawa's eyes dart around the room, taking in everything that happens. Skayawa takes a sizable bite of her cheese chunk and takes a moment to chew. > You take Skayawa You reach for Skayawa and grab her just before she's able to dart away from you. She tenses up and tries to squirm away, but gives up and relaxes a bit once she sees you're not letting her go. Skayawa looks around erratically as you hold on to her. > Go south This part of the deck is the starboard cargo deck. From here, you can see the extent of this barge-like craft. This deck is low to the water level as most of the ship is underwater. There is no railing as it's easier to move large cargo onboard that way. The only structure on the deck is toward the very bow (north). It's the wheelhouse, where the captain pilots the craft. The door into it is open. Around the other parts of the deck, north, west, and northwest, you can see various crates of cargo stacked. At the very back of the ship, you can see the wide stern wheel ceaselessly paddling the ship northwards, rhythmically chugging through the desolate, waterlogged swamp. On the edge of the deck here, a stovepipe juts upward from the galley below. You can see Daxas, one of the crewmates, here. Skayawa squirms in your arms. She reaches a paw towards the stovepipe. Skayawa purrs loudly in your arms. You spy a large snake slithering on the surface of the brackish water. > You put cat in the pipe You don't even need to struggle to get the cat into the stovepipe. She practically jumps from your hands into the pipe's depths. From within the stovepipe, you hear a bit of a clatter. Some scratching noises echo from its depths followed by a small crash and a final thud.

[Themes: Fantasy, Languages, swords, archaeology, language, fantasy, boat] > Go downwards This is the fore end of the centerline passageway that runs down the center of the barge, belowdecks. The craft is heading north and this end of the passage has doors all around but to the south, where the passage continues toward the stern. A short ramp slopes upwards to the northeast, taking one topside. A heavy, ironwood table is situated here with a chair of matching wood and age. Belowdecks, the air here has a hanging moisture. On the ironwood table is an old glowcube (providing light). Venkath Mock is leaning against the ironwood table, absent-mindedly staring down the centerline passage Venkath fidgets with his travel pack. > Go south You are in the centerline passage running from the bow to the stern belowdecks. At this section, there are doors both port and starboard. Otherwise, you can head up or down the passage, from stem to stern. The air down here is thick with moisture and much of the wood around you is damp with condensation. You can see Skayawa (the cat) here. Skayawa the cat stares at one of the walls. Skayawa (the cat) goes north. > Go east This small kitchenette is provided to prepare simple meals for the barge's crew. A small table is here; its top covered by a thick chopping block, marred from ages of use. A wide cupboard is fastened to one wall and a cast iron stove is against another. The stove's door is open. The only exit is port (or west, currently). > You open the stove (the cast iron stove) That's already open. > You look in the stove (the cast iron stove) The is a squat cast iron stove, most likely fastened in place even though its weight alone would do the job. It is black and well-used. The top cooking surface is made of grates that sit above the oven. The oven's door is open. A thick pipe runs up from the oven and through the ceiling where smoke from cooking escapes. In the cast iron stove are a bird's nest and a pile of ashes. > You examine the nest This is a bird's nest that was stuck in the stovepipe. It is a mess of twigs and mud. In the bird's nest is an old key. > You take the key You take the old key from the bird's nest. > You look at the key This old key looks like it probably belongs to a nautical chest. > You go to the west This cabin is too small to be someone's quarters so instead it's used for random storage. Currently, only a large chest sits against a wall here. The only door is to the east (starboard). > You unlock chest with the key You unlock the large chest. > Open chest You open the large chest, revealing a stack of folded clothes and a cabin key. > You take the cabin key (putting the antecessor skean into the leather haversack to make room) You take the cabin key from the large chest. > You examine folded This is someone's stack of folded clothes, put away in storage. They seem like a pretty mundane selection. > You lock the chest with old key You close the large chest. You lock the large chest. > You unlock the mate's door with the cabin key You unlock mate's door. > Go east (first opening mate's door) This cabin is a step-up in comfort than for the rest of the crew. The wooden plank bed has a simple pillow and a nicely folded quilt on it. A plank shelf, against another wall, is covered with neatly stacked papers. A heavy, wooden chair is before it. The first mate's personal belongings are most likely kept in the small trunk nearby. The exit is port (west). On the wooden plank shelf are some neatly stacked papers. On the wooden plank bed are a nicely folded quilt and a simple pillow. > You close door You close mate's door. > You lock the door with the cabin key You lock mate's door. > You examine papers At a quick glance, these papers seem to be mundane jumble of shipping business; invoices, cargo manifestos, and the like. > You examine trunk Rakton, the first mate, most likely keeps his personal belongings in this trunk. > You open the trunk You open the small trunk, revealing Owls of Stone. It happens so fast that you're not sure what's going on at first. Then you realize you are being strangled by a cord. Your hands automatically scramble to your neck, trying to grasp the garrote but your attacker is strong and you cannot get a grip. > You throw the dirt at the attacker You fumble with the small jar but in the commotion, it slips from your sweaty hands and falls to the floor. Thankfully, it's strong enough glass and doesn't break. > You kill the attacker with the dagger (first taking the antecessor skean) You're unable to do that because you're currently being strangled by a garrote. Your attacker is behind you. As he strangles you, Rakton whispers in your ear in a strange language like a lunatic. > You kick Rakton You maneuver yourself as best you can to deliver a solid backwards kick on your attacker. Striking him in the knee, he grunts and the garrote loosens slightly. You take advantage of the opportunity and you slip away from him, stumbling across the cabin clumsily. Rakton is before you, blocking the doorway. Dangling from his hand is the black, leather garrote that was just around your neck. His eyes are red and glassy. He steps toward you, whispering in a strange language like a lunatic. (press any key)The blood-soaked blade of a sword quickly emerges from Rakton's heart. Rakton stops in his tracks, wide-eyed as the blade disappears back into his body. He collapses onto the floor, dead. Behind him, you see your minder, Venkath Mock wipe the sword with a rag and sheath it. "You need to be more careful." He tells you without humor. "Gather your things and meet me topside. We've arrived." > You take the jar You pick up the small jar from the ground. > You take the Owls (putting the weird dirt into the leather haversack to make room) You take Owls of Stone from the small trunk.

> Look around This cabin is a step-up in comfort than for the rest of the crew. The wooden plank bed has a simple pillow and a nicely folded quilt on it. A plank shelf, against another wall, is covered with neatly stacked papers. A heavy, wooden chair is before it. The first mate's personal belongings are most likely kept in the small trunk nearby. The exit is port (west). On the wooden plank shelf are some neatly stacked papers. On the wooden plank bed are a nicely folded quilt and a simple pillow. You can also see a leather garrote and Rakton's body here. > You check your inventory You are carrying: a leather garrote Owls of Stone a small jar (open but empty) a cabin key an old key a glowstone lantern (providing light) a leather haversack (being worn and open) an important note some weird dirt an antecessor skean a mysterious note Elements of Ixteesh Phandaal's letter some traveling clothes (being worn) a small black scabbard (being worn) > You look at the Owls As you open the book, some sort of coded message falls out of it to the ground. coastal city-state of Slezamane roughly half a century ago. The quality of the poems are above average but they stay rather tame instead of touching on any topics of substance like politics or philosophy. > You take the message (putting the old key into the leather haversack to make room) You pick up the coded message from the ground. > You examine the message You can't read this. It's either in another language, or, more likely, in some sort of code. > You examine Rakton Rakton's blood-smeared body is lying here. > Go west You meet your bodyguard topside. The two of you stand behind the wheelhouse, watching the swamp finally give way to wide, clearer water. Ahead, in the distance and dark against the bright horizon, you see the crowded towers and minarets of the city called Badushizd. Leaving the city's harbor to the south, you made your way here, to the Ivory Arch. It is a single piece of ivory, huge enough to span from one side of the boulevard to the other and no man lives who knows whence so vast a piece could have come. Passing through the arch, one finds the entire underside covered in countless, detailed carvings; mostly statues and visages that seem to reach out from the ivory or stare at you as you pass through. To the north, beyond the ivory arch, the buidlings give way to some sort of open town square. Your minder, Venkath Mock, is here with a grim countenance. You can also see Warpeye (the cat) here. > You examine the cat Warpeye's long fur is a cacophony of autumn colors but his feet and neck are white. His keen face evinces his many years and his sage experience as a cat. On closer inspection, you see that he is most likely named for his left eye which is actually a strange glass stone of shifting, indeterminate colors. > You take the eye That seems to be a part of Warpeye (the cat). > You examine the eye Warpeye's left eye appears to be a small glass stone of shifting, indeterminate colors. You can only imagine if it actually works or if it has different abilities altogether. > You examine the carvings Crowding each other on the inside of the ivory arch are countless carved faces, statues, sculptures, and reliefs; some so new, they are currently being finsihed, and some so ancient, their creators and their meanings are lost to the ages. > You talk to Venkath You say hello to Venkath Mock. Venkath adjusts his scabbard and belt. (You could ask Venkath Mock about Venkath Mock or the mysterious note.)

[Themes: Fantasy, archaeology, travel, boat] > Look around It is a single piece of ivory, huge enough to span from one side of the boulevard to the other and no man lives who knows whence so vast a piece could have come. Passing through the arch, one finds the entire underside covered in countless, detailed carvings; mostly statues and visages that seem to reach out from the ivory or stare at you as you pass through. To the north, beyond the ivory arch, the buidlings give way to some sort of open town square. Your minder, Venkath Mock, is here with a grim countenance. You can also see Warpeye (the cat) here. Venkath looks at your traveling clothes. > Go north This town square is hardly a square and more of an askew hexagon. Its dimensions are difficult to tell as the surrounding buildings crowd each other for space. Avenues lead off in almost every direction. The southern boulevard leads under a gigantic ivory arch with an underside covered in countless carvings. The way west is blocked by a spiked gate. Beyond it is the courtyard of the inn known as The Vulgar Unicorn. Even in your village, the far away Euyesus, you've heard a few tales of the tavern's rowdiness. As it's midday, the square is alive with a crowd of people either coming and going or doing business with merchants selling various commodities from tented booths Venkath Mock arrives from the south. Warpeye (the cat) arrives from the south. Venkath looks around and then rubs his eyes. > You examine the gate This is a strong, iron gate with spikes at the summit, standing about ten feet tall. It would be difficult and dangerous to climb and downright impossible to squeeze through the bars. The gate is currently closed. Venkath looks around with a peeved expression. > You open gate You open the spiked gate. > Go west Nestled within the buildings of Badushizd, this stony courtyard serves the patrons of The Vulgar Unicorn as a place to enjoy if the tavern gets too noisy. A dry fountain sits as a centerpiece, surrounded by four stone benches with areas of trimmed grass in between. An open spiked gate leads out of this courtyard to the east and a shadowy break in the wall to the northwest leads to some sort of dark alley between the buildings. The door into the tavern is to the west. On the dry fountain are a periwinkle sadiki bird and a lavender sadiki bird. Venkath Mock arrives from the east. Warpeye (the cat) arrives from the east. The lavender sadiki bird looks at you and says, "You're just some weedy, ill-nurtured apple-john!". > You look at the fountain (the dry fountain) The dry fountain has a wide, circular basin at ground level. The thick sides of the basin are knee-high, made of brick, and provide seating like a bench. In the center of the bottom basin, a stone sculpture rises at least ten feet. It is an abstract thing, sculpted to resemble waves, or something that flows at least. Water probably emerged from the top, flowed down the wavy channels of the sculpture before landing in the basin below. Now, only dust remains. On the dry fountain are a periwinkle sadiki bird and a lavender sadiki bird. > You examine the lavender Sadiki birds, named for the faraway continent upon which they were first discovered, come in a variety of colors and have an impressive ability of mimicry. Unfortunately, sadiki birds have a penchant to only squawk curse words and insults at anyone unfortunate enough to be nearby. This particular sadiki bird has lavender colored feathers. Venkath looks around and then rubs his eyes. The periwinkle sadiki bird looks at you and says, "I smell some sort of impertinent, hell-hated barnacle!". The lavender sadiki bird looks at Venkath Mock and says, "You're just some gorbellied, common-kissing dewberry!". > You look at the inn This door appears to be very old but very thick and strong. Venkath looks at your leather haversack. The periwinkle sadiki bird looks at you and says, "You're just some droning, clay-brained giglet!". > Go west (first opening the inn door) Bright and shadowy, all at once, this tavern common room is covered in countless burning candles of various shapes, sizes, and colors. This perpetual candlelight has been happening for so long, the floor is covered in dry candle wax, stamped into a dust that has become one with the floor. The wooden walls and ceiling are completely covered in soot and the patrons through the many decades have taken it upon themselves to scrawl graffiti in it with their fingers and knives. Across from the front door to the east is a large, curved bar, covered in candles and spirits. In between the front door and the bar are a couple of tables and a few scattered chairs, upon which various patrons lounge, drinking and smoking, filling the room with a smoky aroma of tobacco and herbs. A wooden staircase leads up. Behind the curved bar, a young woman with dreadlocks attends to patrons. Someone breaks out in a hacking cough. Venkath Mock arrives from the east. Warpeye (the cat) arrives from the east. > You look at the graffiti The layers of words, sentences, remarks, ponderings, and symbols go back many decades. Some are crude opinions scribbled in the soot with a naked finger, others are intricate scrawls made with a knife or other sharp implement. It seems that the fashion is to express one's political leanings or affiliations which makes sense in a landscape of city-states hanging in an ever-changing web of alliances and hostilities. Venkath fidgets with his travel pack. > You examine the woman (Paevana the alewife) Black, dreadlocks awkwardly hang over a furrowed, friendly face. Big, round amber eyes look thoughtfully around the tavern they've watched over for so long. Paevana isn't greatly busy this evening, but still steadily works the bar; pouring drinks, clearing glasses, lighting candles, and talking to the various patrons. > You talk to the woman (Paevana the alewife) As you approach a little closer, you notice there is a concealed staircase behind the bar leading down to a cellar. You say hello to Paevana the alewife. (You could ask Paevana the alewife about Paevana the alewife, the Vulgar Unicorn, Deviah Favash or the room to rent.) > You ascend This is the upstairs hall of The Vulgar Unicorn. From below, the sounds of the tavern common room rises up the wooden staircase. Bedroom doors are set east and west and a lavatory door is to the south. The soot graffiti continues on this floor, as does the smoky aroma of tobacco. Venkath Mock comes up from below. Warpeye (the cat) comes up from below. > You ask Venkath about Warpeye There is no reply. Venkath looks at your leather haversack. > You examine the graffiti The layers of words, sentences, remarks, ponderings, and symbols go back many decades. Some are crude opinions scribbled in the soot with a naked finger, others are intricate scrawls made with a knife or other sharp implement. It seems that the fashion is to express one's political leanings or affiliations which makes sense in a landscape of city-states hanging in an ever-changing web of alliances and hostilities. > You look at the door Which do you mean, the second bedroom door, the first bedroom door or the lavatory door? > You examine the key Which do you mean, the first inn key, the cabin key or the old key? > You look at the first door This is a basic, wooden door. > You enter it (first opening the first bedroom door) It seems to be locked. Venkath adjusts his scabbard and belt. > You unlock it What do you want to unlock the first bedroom door with? > First key You unlock the first bedroom door. > You enter the first door (first opening the first bedroom door) Surprisingly cozy, this bedroom contains a large, comfy bed covered by an intricately-sewn quilt. A thick but short curtain covers a small window in the east wall. Completing the guest room is a stuffed sofa with a worn floral, but darkly colored cover. The only exit is the door to the west. Venkath Mock arrives from the west. Warpeye (the cat) arrives from the west. > You go to the west This is the upstairs hall of The Vulgar Unicorn. From below, the sounds of the tavern common room rises up the wooden staircase. Bedroom doors are set east and west and a lavatory door is to the south. The soot graffiti continues on this floor, as does the smoky aroma of tobacco. Venkath Mock arrives from the east. Warpeye (the cat) arrives from the east. > You close the first door You close the first bedroom door. > You lock it with the first key You lock the first bedroom door. > You knock on the second door You try the door after a quick knock but it remains locked. "I feel something's wrong." Venkath Mock tells you as he examines the door, most likely thinking of bashing it down. "No, wait." You tell him, not wanting to cause damage or a scene if it can be helped, "Let me look for another way in. You wait here." "Fine. Be swift." > You go south (first opening the lavatory door) This strange room is some sort of lavatory, but not like any that you've seen back in Euyesus. There's a commode made of polished wood with a small handle nearby. There's also a porcelain sink, but the commode has numerous pipes extending from it and clinging to the wall before disappearing into it and the sink includes a faucet which is a brass spigot also attached to a network of pipes. Finally, there is an old mirror on another wall, affixed between more pipes. The only exit is the door to the north. > You examine the mirror This mirror is very clean but a couple of the corners look a little battered, as if this mirror has been moved around more than a few times. It is attached to the wall but the pipes covers a little of the mirror's edge. > You move the mirror It is fixed in place. > You search mirror You see yourself reflected back at you. > You look at the pipes You have no idea how such plumbing works; your home village still relies on outhouse technology. From behind the polished wood commode and porcelain sink, pipes extend and crawl along the walls before disappearing into them. Near the commode, a small handle is attached to a pipe and above the sink, there's a brass spigot, also on a pipe. > You go to the north This is the upstairs hall of The Vulgar Unicorn. From below, the sounds of the tavern common room rises up the wooden staircase. Bedroom doors are set east and west and a lavatory door is to the south. The soot graffiti continues on this floor, as does the smoky aroma of tobacco. Your minder, Venkath Mock, is here with a grim countenance. You can also see Warpeye (the cat) here.

[Themes: Fantasy, boat, history, travel] > You go downwards Bright and shadowy, all at once, this tavern common room is covered in countless burning candles of various shapes, sizes, and colors. This perpetual candlelight has been happening for so long, the floor is covered in dry candle wax, stamped into a dust that has become one with the floor. The wooden walls and ceiling are completely covered in soot and the patrons through the many decades have taken it upon themselves to scrawl graffiti in it with their fingers and knives. Across from the front door to the east is a large, curved bar, covered in candles and spirits. In between the front door and the bar are a couple of tables and a few scattered chairs. A wooden staircase leads up and a concealed staircase behind the bar leads down to a cellar. Behind the curved bar, a young woman with dreadlocks attends to patrons. > You go east Nestled within the buildings of Badushizd, this stony courtyard serves the patrons of The Vulgar Unicorn as a place to enjoy if the tavern gets too noisy. A dry fountain sits as a centerpiece, surrounded by four stone benches with areas of trimmed grass in between. A closed spiked gate leads out of this courtyard to the east and a shadowy break in the wall to the northwest leads to some sort of dark alley between the buildings. The door into the tavern is to the west. It is currently open, allowing light and conversational sounds to spill out into the courtyard. On the dry fountain is a periwinkle sadiki bird. > Go northwest This alley is generally crooked, of course, and the way it is sandwiched between the buildings blocks almost any natural light, leaving this passage in shadows. The alley leads southeast (back to the inn courtyard) and southwest (deeper into shadow). You can see a squirrelly thug here. > You examine the thug This man is lean and strange with dark circles under his bloodshot eyes as if he hasn't slept in years. His greasy hair has the scraggly look of being chopped here and there by sharp implements. He wears dark, stained clothes under a scuffed leather duster. > You talk to thug If you approach, he looks like he would rather mug you than talk to you. > You go to the southwest The squirrelly thug blocks your way in that direction. He seems to be waiting for you to approach. > You kill the thug With your bare hands? You'd probably lose that fight. > You take the dagger (putting the cabin key into the leather haversack to make room) You're carrying too many things already. > Inventory You are carrying: a first inn key a coded message a leather garrote Owls of Stone a small jar (open but empty) a glowstone lantern (providing light) a leather haversack (being worn and open) a cabin key an old key an important note some weird dirt an antecessor skean a mysterious note Elements of Ixteesh Phandaal's letter some traveling clothes (being worn) a small black scabbard (being worn) > PUT INN KEY, OWLS, MESSAGE IN SACK first inn key: Done. Owls of Stone: Done. coded message: Done. > You take skean You take the antecessor skean from the leather haversack. > You put the dirt in the jar (first taking the weird dirt) You put the weird dirt into the small jar. > Inventory You are carrying: an antecessor skean a leather garrote a small jar (open) some weird dirt a glowstone lantern (providing light) a leather haversack (being worn and open) a coded message Owls of Stone a first inn key a cabin key an old key an important note a mysterious note Elements of Ixteesh Phandaal's letter some traveling clothes (being worn) a small black scabbard (being worn) > You kill the thug with the dagger You were given the skean to use to defend yourself, if that unfortunate event arises. But to rush in to an attack with a larger and maybe more experienced opponent doesn't sound like a good idea. > You throw the dirt at the thug (first taking the weird dirt) You pour the weird dirt from the small jar into your hand. You toss the weird dirt at the squirrelly thug. It hits him without any fanfare at all. But suddenly, he remains fixed in place, unable to move any of his body but his eyes. His eyes dart around, terrified, but he cannot move even a finger, leaving him standing awkwardly like a frozen scarecrow. > You go southwest You sneak past the paralyzed thug. His eyes follow you as far as possible, until you're past his view and down the alley a bit. The dark alley stops here at a dead end. The angles of this cul-de-sac are contorted so the dark walls are disorienting to make out. The east border is the back of The Vulgar Unicorn, its face covered with a gray city ivy known as shalifux, A round window is up the wall on the second floor. Across from the back of the tavern, a tall brick wall blocks what was once another alley. The only exit is back down the dark alley to the northeast. On the tall brick wall is a lavender sadiki bird. You can also see an old crate here. > You climb the ivy You painstakingly climb up the back wall of The Vulgar Unicorn, grasping the gray shalifux ivy. When you reach the round window, you crawl through, dumping unceremoniously on the floor of the back bedroom. This room is a chaotic mess. The bed frame and mattress is crooked as if someone pushed it or was pushed against it. A sofa is overturned as if flung by a giant hand. A blood-stained quilt is bunched up on the floor. On the west wall, half of a curtain hangs askew, partially covering a round window. The rest of the curtain is on the floor. There is a closed door to the east. Finally, on the floor is the still body of Deviah Favash. She is laying in a pool of blood. > You examine the body This unfortunate woman was Deviah Favash. Whoever sent for an Ixteesh interpreter from your village did so through Deviah and she was to explain to you who sent for you and where you're supposed to be. Sadly, it appears she has been stabbed a few times in the midsection by something incredibly sharp, given the very clean cuts left behind in her clothes. Without warning, Deviah's eyes snap open, startling you enough to shout a quick, "Shit lords!". She grabs your wrist tightly and whispers to you in a slowly dying breath, "You must join the caravan to Obak! That is where you are needed!" She cringes in pain for a moment, then struggles to add, "They are trying to stop you-" but then, having delivered this message to you, she finally dies. > You unlock door What do you want to unlock the second bedroom door with? > You open the door It seems to be locked. > You search body You find the second inn key in one of Deviah's pockets. You absent-mindedly grab it. > You unlock the door with the second key You unlock the second bedroom door. > You go to the east (first opening the second bedroom door) This is the upstairs hall of The Vulgar Unicorn. From below, the sounds of the tavern common room rises up the wooden staircase. Bedroom doors are set east and west and a lavatory door is to the south. The soot graffiti continues on this floor, as does the smoky aroma of tobacco. Your minder, Venkath Mock, is here with a grim countenance. You can also see Warpeye (the cat) here. Venkath looks over your shoulder, into Deviah's room. He spies her lifeless body. "What in all the hells?" He mumbles to himself. Before you can reply, the sound of breaking glass followed by a scream pierces the tavern noise from below. Venkath looks at your traveling clothes.

[Themes: Fantasy, swords, travel, Languages, history] > Go downwards Bright and shadowy, all at once, this tavern common room is covered in countless burning candles of various shapes, sizes, and colors. This perpetual candlelight has been happening for so long, the floor is covered in dry candle wax, stamped into a dust that has become one with the floor. The wooden walls and ceiling are completely covered in soot and the patrons through the many decades have taken it upon themselves to scrawl graffiti in it with their fingers and knives. Across from the front door to the east is a large, curved bar, covered in candles and spirits. In between the front door and the bar are a couple of tables and a few scattered chairs. A wooden staircase leads up and a concealed staircase behind the bar leads down to a cellar. You can see Sceldrus Jandol here. Venkath Mock comes down from above. Warpeye (the cat) comes down from above. Upon entering the tavern common room, you are surprised to see the place devoid of any patrons. Everything is still as if the small crowd departed as one, barely a few minutes ago. The candles are still lit and the hanging smoke still lingers. Paevana the alewife is gone as well, but casually walking among the unattended candles and abandoned cocktails is a tall man. He has a handsome face but one you feel you can't trust. He wears black brigandine armor and you spy two swords crossed on his back. He wears no helm or hood but rather ties his long black hair behind his head. He gives a smile as he sees Venkath Mock. His eyes never notice you.

[Themes: Fantasy, history] > Go downward This space is crowded with decades upon decades of tavern flotsam; broken chairs, upended tables, crates of empty bottles, among many other dusty things. The only exit is a staircase that leads up to the tavern common room, behind the curved bar. Paevana the alewife is hiding down here, avoiding the melee upstairs. Warpeye (the cat) comes down from above. > You talk to Paevana You say hello to Paevana the alewife. (You could ask Paevana the alewife about Paevana the alewife.)

[Themes: Fantasy, travel, fantasy, Languages] > Go upward Bright and shadowy, all at once, this tavern common room is covered in countless burning candles of various shapes, sizes, and colors. This perpetual candlelight has been happening for so long, the floor is covered in dry candle wax, stamped into a dust that has become one with the floor. The wooden walls and ceiling are completely covered in soot and the patrons through the many decades have taken it upon themselves to scrawl graffiti in it with their fingers and knives. Across from the front door to the east is a large, curved bar, covered in candles and spirits. In between the front door and the bar are a couple of tables and a few scattered chairs. A wooden staircase leads up and a concealed staircase behind the bar leads down to a cellar. Your minder, Venkath Mock, is here with a grim countenance. You can also see Sceldrus Jandol here. "Venkath." The tall man says in way of greeting. "Sceldrus." Venkath returns, his face steady and grim. Warpeye (the cat) comes up from below. > Wait Time passes. Still without giving you a glance, Sceldrus asks Venkath, "Is this the decipherist from Euyesus?" In answer, Venkath draws his blade. "Nothing stops a Phansigar from his task, Venkath." The tall man states, still smiling, but drawing one of his blades from behind his back. Venkath fidgets with his travel pack. > You wait a while Time passes. Like a juggernaut, Venkath swings his blade wide while quickly stepping up to his opponent. Sceldrus parries, both blades clashing, grinding together with a sound that makes your skin crawl, like a fork scraping a plate at a banquet. Seeing the opportunity, with his free fist, Sceldrus socks Venkath in the eye. > You wait awhile Time passes. Stepping back, blinking his newly clobbered eye, Venkath whirls his blade in his hand before advancing again. In the last second, Venkath quickly lifts the blade over his head, bringing it down hard upon Sceldrus. Sceldrus, however, is even quicker. He steps aside, dodging the blow, but then grabs Venkath by the back of his jack-of-plate cloth shirt and, using Venkath's momentum against him, shoves him face-first into one the candle and cocktail covered tables. He and the table go crashing against a wall, sending the drinks, and more dangerously, the lit candles clattering all over. Suddenly, the alcohol-soaked floor and walls are lit by the stray flames of the fallen candles. A fire quickly envelopes the entry by the tavern's front door. > Wait Time passes. Venkath picks himself up from the smashed table and broken glasses. He's up just in time to parry a stabbing attempt by Sceldrus, their blades clanging loudly. "Oh, Venkath," Sceldrus says mockingly, "one should never give a sword to a man who can't dance." "What does that even mean?" Venkath asks gruffly, but then realizes he's been distracted and raises his sword in defense only a second before Sceldrus's own blade reached him. Their blades clash once again. > You kill Sceldrus with the dagger You charge at the tall warrior, antecessor skean in hand, but he is too quick and powerful, compared to a small adolescent such as yourself. You are grabbed by the neck with his free hand and, still ignoring you with his eyes, throws you onto the curved bar. Drinks and candles fly in all directions as you slide over the bar and onto the floor and then quickly tumbling down the concealed staircase to the. . . This space is crowded with decades upon decades of tavern flotsam; broken chairs, upended tables, crates of empty bottles, among many other dusty things. The only exit is a staircase that leads up to the tavern common room, behind the curved bar. Paevana the alewife is hiding down here, avoiding the melee upstairs. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. Warpeye (the cat) comes down from above. > You ask Paevana about Sceldrus There is no reply. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > Search flotsam You find nothing of interest. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You look at the crates A good number of wine crates are stacked around the cellar. Most of them are filled with empty bottles of all kinds. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > Go up Bright and shadowy, all at once, this tavern common room is covered in countless burning candles of various shapes, sizes, and colors. This perpetual candlelight has been happening for so long, the floor is covered in dry candle wax, stamped into a dust that has become one with the floor. The wooden walls and ceiling are completely covered in soot and the patrons through the many decades have taken it upon themselves to scrawl graffiti in it with their fingers and knives. Across from the front door to the east is a large, curved bar, covered in candles and spirits. In between the front door and the bar are a couple of tables and a few scattered chairs. A wooden staircase leads up and a concealed staircase behind the bar leads down to a cellar. A raging fire is blocking any exit through the tavern's front door. It is making the tavern a boiler and the countless candles are melting rapidly as the fire spreads. Your minder, Venkath Mock, is here with a grim countenance. You can also see Sceldrus Jandol here. Venkath swings his sword at Sceldrus's throat but it is easily dodged as the taller warrior leans and steps back. Warpeye (the cat) comes up from below. Venkath looks around with a peeved expression. > Go upwards This is the upstairs hall of The Vulgar Unicorn. From below, the sounds of the tavern common room rises up the wooden staircase. Bedroom doors are set east and west and a lavatory door is to the south. The soot graffiti continues on this floor, as does the smoky aroma of tobacco. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. Warpeye (the cat) comes up from below. > You go west This room is a chaotic mess. The bed frame and mattress is crooked as if someone pushed it or was pushed against it. A sofa is overturned as if flung by a giant hand. A blood-stained quilt is bunched up on the floor. On the west wall, half of a curtain hangs askew, partially covering a round window. The rest of the curtain is on the floor. There is an open door to the east. Finally, on the floor is the still body of Deviah Favash. She is laying in a pool of blood. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. Warpeye (the cat) arrives from the east.

[Themes: Fantasy, history, boat, travel, fantasy] > Go downward You can't go that way. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You go through the window Jumping out this window and climbing down the shalifux does sound like a good idea to avoid the fire that's quickly engulfing the common room downstairs, however, looking out the window, you can see the squirrelly thug is waiting down there for you and he's brought some friends. It would be certain death. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You go to the east This is the upstairs hall of The Vulgar Unicorn. From below, the sounds of the tavern common room rises up the wooden staircase. Bedroom doors are set east and west and a lavatory door is to the south. The soot graffiti continues on this floor, as does the smoky aroma of tobacco. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. Warpeye (the cat) arrives from the west. > You go east (first opening the first bedroom door) It seems to be locked. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You unlock the first door with the first key (first taking the first inn key) You unlock the first bedroom door. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You go east (first opening the first bedroom door) Surprisingly cozy, this bedroom contains a large, comfy bed covered by an intricately-sewn quilt. A thick but short curtain covers a small window in the east wall. Completing the guest room is a stuffed sofa with a worn floral, but darkly colored cover. The only exit is the door to the west. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. Warpeye (the cat) arrives from the west. > You open the window It isn't something you can open. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You move the curtain It is fixed in place. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You go through the window That's not something you can enter. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You break the window Violence isn't the answer to this one. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > Go west This is the upstairs hall of The Vulgar Unicorn. From below, the sounds of the tavern common room rises up the wooden staircase. Bedroom doors are set east and west and a lavatory door is to the south. The soot graffiti continues on this floor, as does the smoky aroma of tobacco. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. Warpeye (the cat) arrives from the east.

[Themes: Fantasy, swords, history] > You go downward Bright and shadowy, all at once, this tavern common room is covered in countless burning candles of various shapes, sizes, and colors. This perpetual candlelight has been happening for so long, the floor is covered in dry candle wax, stamped into a dust that has become one with the floor. The wooden walls and ceiling are completely covered in soot and the patrons through the many decades have taken it upon themselves to scrawl graffiti in it with their fingers and knives. Across from the front door to the east is a large, curved bar, covered in candles and spirits. In between the front door and the bar are a couple of tables and a few scattered chairs. A wooden staircase leads up and a concealed staircase behind the bar leads down to a cellar. A raging fire is blocking any exit through the tavern's front door. It is making the tavern a boiler and the countless candles are melting rapidly as the fire spreads. Your minder, Venkath Mock, is here with a grim countenance. You can also see Sceldrus Jandol here. Grabbing a chair, Venkath throws it overhand at Sceldrus who bashes it out of the way with the forearm of his free hand, knocking the chair to the floor where it breaks. Warpeye (the cat) comes down from above. > Go east The door is blocked by a fire that is quickly spreading. Sceldrus seizes an opportunity to stab at Venkath, but Venkath's blade is too quick and he parries the attempt. > Go west You can't go that way. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. > Go upwards This is the upstairs hall of The Vulgar Unicorn. From below, the sounds of the tavern common room rises up the wooden staircase. Bedroom doors are set east and west and a lavatory door is to the south. The soot graffiti continues on this floor, as does the smoky aroma of tobacco. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. Warpeye (the cat) comes up from below. > Go south This strange room is some sort of lavatory, but not like any that you've seen back in Euyesus. There's a commode made of polished wood with a small handle nearby. There's also a porcelain sink, but the commode has numerous pipes extending from it and clinging to the wall before disappearing into it and the sink includes a faucet which is a brass spigot also attached to a network of pipes. Finally, there is an old mirror on another wall, affixed between more pipes. The only exit is the door to the north. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. Warpeye (the cat) arrives from the north. > Break mirror Violence isn't the answer to this one. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You turn the spigot The spigot squeaks as you turn it on. A stream of cold water flows into the sink where it pools slightly before disappearing into a small drain. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You turn the faucet The water is already running from the spigot, into the sink. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You turn off the faucet The spigot squeaks as you turn it off, ending the stream of cold water. In a moment, the water in the sink has gone down the drain, leaving the porcelain sink empty. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > Inventory You are carrying: a first inn key a second inn key an antecessor skean a leather garrote a small jar (open but empty) a glowstone lantern (providing light) a leather haversack (being worn and open) a coded message Owls of Stone a cabin key an old key an important note a mysterious note Elements of Ixteesh Phandaal's letter some traveling clothes (being worn) a small black scabbard (being worn) You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You put the water in the jar Which do you mean, the pooling water or the stream of cold water? > Pooling That won't fit in there. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You kick the pipes You give the network of pipes a solid kick. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You go north This is the upstairs hall of The Vulgar Unicorn. From below, the sounds of the tavern common room rises up the wooden staircase. Bedroom doors are set east and west and a lavatory door is to the south. The soot graffiti continues on this floor, as does the smoky aroma of tobacco. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. Warpeye (the cat) arrives from the south.

> You go downwards Bright and shadowy, all at once, this tavern common room is covered in countless burning candles of various shapes, sizes, and colors. This perpetual candlelight has been happening for so long, the floor is covered in dry candle wax, stamped into a dust that has become one with the floor. The wooden walls and ceiling are completely covered in soot and the patrons through the many decades have taken it upon themselves to scrawl graffiti in it with their fingers and knives. Across from the front door to the east is a large, curved bar, covered in candles and spirits. In between the front door and the bar are a couple of tables and a few scattered chairs. A wooden staircase leads up and a concealed staircase behind the bar leads down to a cellar. A raging fire is blocking any exit through the tavern's front door. It is making the tavern a boiler and the countless candles are melting rapidly as the fire spreads. Your minder, Venkath Mock, is here with a grim countenance. You can also see Sceldrus Jandol here. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. Warpeye (the cat) comes down from above. > You kill Sceldrus with garrote No. You've already learned your lesson. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns.

[Themes: Fantasy, fantasy] > Go downwards This space is crowded with decades upon decades of tavern flotsam; broken chairs, upended tables, crates of empty bottles, among many other dusty things. The only exit is a staircase that leads up to the tavern common room, behind the curved bar. Paevana the alewife is hiding down here, avoiding the melee upstairs. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. Warpeye (the cat) comes down from above. > You tell Paevana about the fire There is no reply. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > Topics You could ask Paevana the alewife about Paevana the alewife. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You move the crates They are fixed in place. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You look at the chairs Many broken chairs of varying styles are stacked and strewn about the cellar. Every piece is covered with dust. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You examine the bottles The empty glass bottles are of all shapes and sizes and they are in the dusty wine crates. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You look at the tables Like the broken chairs down here, there are some old tables stored about, looking wobbly, dirty, or just plain broken. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You close up You must name something more substantial. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > Kiss woman Paevana the alewife might not like that. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You take the cat No matter what you try, Warpeye always seems to slip away from your grasp. Frustrated, you give up. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You kill the cat Violence isn't the answer to this one. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > Go upwards Bright and shadowy, all at once, this tavern common room is covered in countless burning candles of various shapes, sizes, and colors. This perpetual candlelight has been happening for so long, the floor is covered in dry candle wax, stamped into a dust that has become one with the floor. The wooden walls and ceiling are completely covered in soot and the patrons through the many decades have taken it upon themselves to scrawl graffiti in it with their fingers and knives. Across from the front door to the east is a large, curved bar, covered in candles and spirits. In between the front door and the bar are a couple of tables and a few scattered chairs. A wooden staircase leads up and a concealed staircase behind the bar leads down to a cellar. A raging fire is blocking any exit through the tavern's front door. It is making the tavern a boiler and the countless candles are melting rapidly as the fire spreads. Your minder, Venkath Mock, is here with a grim countenance. You can also see Sceldrus Jandol here. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. Warpeye (the cat) comes up from below. Venkath looks around and then rubs his eyes. > You kill Sceldrus Warpeye (the cat) has better things to do. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. > You throw cat at Sceldrus (first taking Warpeye (the cat)) No matter what you try, Warpeye always seems to slip away from your grasp. Frustrated, you give up. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. Venkath looks at your leather haversack. > You ask the cat about the cat (Warpeye (the cat)) There is no reply. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. Venkath adjusts his scabbard and belt. > Examine bar (the curved bar) This solid wood bar curves so the server is slightly surrounded. Its top is covered with burning candles, decades of candle wax, and a few drinks belonging to some nearby patrons. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. Venkath fidgets with his travel pack. > You examine the drinks In the spaces on the bar and tables where there isn't any wax, spirituous drinks belonging to the various patrons are placed. They are in thick glasses that appear to have been made by the same glassblower, given the style. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. Venkath looks around with a peeved expression. > You take the drinks None of these drinks belong to you. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. > You go east Surprisingly cozy, this bedroom contains a large, comfy bed covered by an intricately-sewn quilt. A thick but short curtain covers a small window in the east wall. Completing the guest room is a stuffed sofa with a worn floral, but darkly colored cover. The only exit is the door to the west. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. Warpeye (the cat) arrives from the west. > You take the quilt You don't need to take the quilt. It's far too large to carry around efficiently. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You move the quilt Nothing obvious happens. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You look at the quilt This quilt is constructed with a dizzying array of small, geometric shapes and patterns in a variety of dark colors. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You look under the bed There's nothing under there. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > Go west This is the upstairs hall of The Vulgar Unicorn. From below, the sounds of the tavern common room rises up the wooden staircase. Bedroom doors are set east and west and a lavatory door is to the south. The soot graffiti continues on this floor, as does the smoky aroma of tobacco. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. Warpeye (the cat) arrives from the east. > You go west This room is a chaotic mess. The bed frame and mattress is crooked as if someone pushed it or was pushed against it. A sofa is overturned as if flung by a giant hand. A blood-stained quilt is bunched up on the floor. On the west wall, half of a curtain hangs askew, partially covering a round window. The rest of the curtain is on the floor. There is an open door to the east. Finally, on the floor is the still body of Deviah Favash. She is laying in a pool of blood. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. Warpeye (the cat) arrives from the east. > You take the quilt You don't need to carry that around. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You examine the sofa This stuffed sofa is turned upside down. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room.

[Themes: Fantasy, boat, fantasy, swords] > You look around This room is a chaotic mess. The bed frame and mattress is crooked as if someone pushed it or was pushed against it. A sofa is overturned as if flung by a giant hand. A blood-stained quilt is bunched up on the floor. On the west wall, half of a curtain hangs askew, partially covering a round window. The rest of the curtain is on the floor. There is an open door to the east. Finally, on the floor is the still body of Deviah Favash. She is laying in a pool of blood. You can see Warpeye (the cat) here. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You examine the bed The mattress and bed frame are disheveled and crooked. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You take the curtain Which do you mean, the half curtain or the cut-off curtain? > You cut-off That's hardly portable. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You take the half You don't really need that. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You go to the east This is the upstairs hall of The Vulgar Unicorn. From below, the sounds of the tavern common room rises up the wooden staircase. Bedroom doors are set east and west and a lavatory door is to the south. The soot graffiti continues on this floor, as does the smoky aroma of tobacco. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. Warpeye (the cat) arrives from the west. > Go south This strange room is some sort of lavatory, but not like any that you've seen back in Euyesus. There's a commode made of polished wood with a small handle nearby. There's also a porcelain sink, but the commode has numerous pipes extending from it and clinging to the wall before disappearing into it and the sink includes a faucet which is a brass spigot also attached to a network of pipes. Finally, there is an old mirror on another wall, affixed between more pipes. The only exit is the door to the north. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. Warpeye (the cat) arrives from the north. > You turn on the spigot The spigot squeaks as you turn it on. A stream of cold water flows into the sink where it pools slightly before disappearing into a small drain. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You look at the commode It's an average commode except that the wood used has been polished to a shine. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You look at the pipes You have no idea how such plumbing works; your home village still relies on outhouse technology. From behind the polished wood commode and porcelain sink, pipes extend and crawl along the walls before disappearing into them. Near the commode, a small handle is attached to a pipe and above the sink, there's a brass spigot, also on a pipe. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You pull handle Nothing obvious happens. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > Inventory You are carrying: a first inn key a second inn key an antecessor skean a leather garrote a small jar (open but empty) a glowstone lantern (providing light) a leather haversack (being worn and open) a coded message Owls of Stone a cabin key an old key an important note a mysterious note Elements of Ixteesh Phandaal's letter some traveling clothes (being worn) a small black scabbard (being worn) You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You turn the handle From somewhere within the commode, a strange clap noise is heard. Some random tapping sounds echo within the pipes on the walls. Then the tapping stops, leaving you with the feeling that twisting the small handle somehow empties the commode automatically. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You enter the commode You don't feel the need to go right now. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You look in the commode You can't really see anything in there. It seems to be very deep. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You put the jar in the sack You put the small jar into the leather haversack. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You kick the pipes You give the network of pipes a solid kick. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You hit the pipes with skean That's actually unnecessary. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You open the pipes It isn't something you can open. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room.

[Themes: Fantasy, archaeology, Languages, language, travel] > Go downward Bright and shadowy, all at once, this tavern common room is covered in countless burning candles of various shapes, sizes, and colors. This perpetual candlelight has been happening for so long, the floor is covered in dry candle wax, stamped into a dust that has become one with the floor. The wooden walls and ceiling are completely covered in soot and the patrons through the many decades have taken it upon themselves to scrawl graffiti in it with their fingers and knives. Across from the front door to the east is a large, curved bar, covered in candles and spirits. In between the front door and the bar are a couple of tables and a few scattered chairs. A wooden staircase leads up and a concealed staircase behind the bar leads down to a cellar. A raging fire is blocking any exit through the tavern's front door. It is making the tavern a boiler and the countless candles are melting rapidly as the fire spreads. Your minder, Venkath Mock, is here with a grim countenance. You can also see Sceldrus Jandol here. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. Warpeye (the cat) comes down from above. Venkath looks at your small black scabbard.

[Themes: Fantasy, fantasy] > Go downwards This space is crowded with decades upon decades of tavern flotsam; broken chairs, upended tables, crates of empty bottles, among many other dusty things. The only exit is a staircase that leads up to the tavern common room, behind the curved bar. Paevana the alewife is hiding down here, avoiding the melee upstairs. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. Warpeye (the cat) comes down from above. > You move the flotsam They are fixed in place. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You ask Paevana about Paevana "There's no time for chit-chat." She tells you, looking at you like you're insane. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > Search crates The wine crates are empty. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > Go upward Bright and shadowy, all at once, this tavern common room is covered in countless burning candles of various shapes, sizes, and colors. This perpetual candlelight has been happening for so long, the floor is covered in dry candle wax, stamped into a dust that has become one with the floor. The wooden walls and ceiling are completely covered in soot and the patrons through the many decades have taken it upon themselves to scrawl graffiti in it with their fingers and knives. Across from the front door to the east is a large, curved bar, covered in candles and spirits. In between the front door and the bar are a couple of tables and a few scattered chairs. A wooden staircase leads up and a concealed staircase behind the bar leads down to a cellar. A raging fire is blocking any exit through the tavern's front door. It is making the tavern a boiler and the countless candles are melting rapidly as the fire spreads. Your minder, Venkath Mock, is here with a grim countenance. You can also see Sceldrus Jandol here. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. Warpeye (the cat) comes up from below. > You examine tables These tables are wooden and appear to have been around forever. Like the other surfaces in here, they are covered in burning candles, candle wax, and patrons" drinks in thick glasses. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. > You take the chair Which do you mean, the scattered chairs or the empty chair? > Empty It's fine where it is. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. > You hit Sceldrus with the empty chair (first taking the empty chair) It's fine where it is. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. > You examine the empty chair You see nothing special about the empty chair. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. Venkath adjusts his scabbard and belt. > You take the wax (the dry candle wax) That's hardly portable. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. Venkath looks at your small black scabbard. > You take the candle Which do you mean, the countless candles, the dry candle wax or the bar candles? > Dry That's hardly portable. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. > You take the bar candles You don't need someone else's candle right now. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. Venkath fidgets with his travel pack. > You examine the sofa It seems a bit old, but soft enough for sitting. It is upholstered with a worn floral, but darkly colored cover. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You search the sofa There is nothing on the stuffed sofa. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You get on the bed You get onto the large comfy bed. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > Sleep You aren't feeling especially drowsy. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You stand You get off the large comfy bed. Surprisingly cozy, this bedroom contains a large, comfy bed covered by an intricately-sewn quilt. A thick but short curtain covers a small window in the east wall. Completing the guest room is a stuffed sofa with a worn floral, but darkly colored cover. The only exit is the door to the west. You can see Warpeye (the cat) here. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You check your inventory You are carrying: a first inn key a second inn key an antecessor skean a leather garrote a glowstone lantern (providing light) a leather haversack (being worn and open) a small jar (open but empty) a coded message Owls of Stone a cabin key an old key an important note a mysterious note Elements of Ixteesh Phandaal's letter some traveling clothes (being worn) a small black scabbard (being worn) You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room.

> You go downwards Bright and shadowy, all at once, this tavern common room is covered in countless burning candles of various shapes, sizes, and colors. This perpetual candlelight has been happening for so long, the floor is covered in dry candle wax, stamped into a dust that has become one with the floor. The wooden walls and ceiling are completely covered in soot and the patrons through the many decades have taken it upon themselves to scrawl graffiti in it with their fingers and knives. Across from the front door to the east is a large, curved bar, covered in candles and spirits. In between the front door and the bar are a couple of tables and a few scattered chairs. A wooden staircase leads up and a concealed staircase behind the bar leads down to a cellar. A raging fire is blocking any exit through the tavern's front door. It is making the tavern a boiler and the countless candles are melting rapidly as the fire spreads. Your minder, Venkath Mock, is here with a grim countenance. You can also see Sceldrus Jandol here. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. Warpeye (the cat) comes down from above. > You examine Sceldrus He is tall and has a handsome face but one you feel you can't trust. He wears black brigandine armor and you spy two swords crossed on his back. He wears no helm or hood but rather ties his long black hair behind his head. His eyes never notice you. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. > You throw the jar at Sceldrus (first taking the small jar) You lack the nerve when it comes to the crucial moment. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. > You throw skean at Sceldrus You lack the nerve when it comes to the crucial moment. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. > You examine garrote This garrote is a braided, black leather ligature. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. > You take the bottle You grab an empty glass bottle. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You go upward Bright and shadowy, all at once, this tavern common room is covered in countless burning candles of various shapes, sizes, and colors. This perpetual candlelight has been happening for so long, the floor is covered in dry candle wax, stamped into a dust that has become one with the floor. The wooden walls and ceiling are completely covered in soot and the patrons through the many decades have taken it upon themselves to scrawl graffiti in it with their fingers and knives. Across from the front door to the east is a large, curved bar, covered in candles and spirits. In between the front door and the bar are a couple of tables and a few scattered chairs. A wooden staircase leads up and a concealed staircase behind the bar leads down to a cellar. A raging fire is blocking any exit through the tavern's front door. It is making the tavern a boiler and the countless candles are melting rapidly as the fire spreads. Your minder, Venkath Mock, is here with a grim countenance. You can also see Sceldrus Jandol here. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. Warpeye (the cat) comes up from below. Venkath looks at your small black scabbard. > Cold That doesn't go in there. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You put the pooling in bottle (first taking the pooling water) You fill the glass bottle with water. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. > You put the water on the fire Putting things on the raging fire would achieve nothing. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. > You throw the water at the fire Strategically taking aim, you hurl the bottle at the raging fire. With a smash, it breaks apart, spilling the water within on enough of the fire to allow you safe passage through the front door to the east. Sceldrus and Venkath continue their swordfight in the common room as the tavern burns. Paevana the alewife comes up from below. Venkath fidgets with his travel pack. > Go east You quickly run through the temporary space you made in the raging fire, and fall outside to the inn's courtyard. Nestled within the buildings of Badushizd, this stony courtyard serves the patrons of The Vulgar Unicorn as a place to enjoy if the tavern gets too noisy. A dry fountain sits as a centerpiece, surrounded by four stone benches with areas of trimmed grass in between. A closed spiked gate leads out of this courtyard to the east and a shadowy break in the wall to the northwest leads to some sort of dark alley between the buildings. The door into the tavern is to the west. It is currently open, allowing light and conversational sounds to spill out into the courtyard. On the dry fountain is a periwinkle sadiki bird. You can hear the crashing and clanging of a sword fight coming from the tavern common room. Warpeye (the cat) arrives from the west. Paevana the alewife arrives from the west. The doorway to the tavern is now engulfed in flames. The surrounding doorframe collapses in on itself, making any escape through there a fiery trap. You can see in the windows that the fire is spreading fast within. You're staring at the blazing building, wondering about Venkath Mock, Warpeye the cat at your feet, when Paevana appears next to you. Staring as well at her livelihood literally going up in smoke, she puts her arm around your shoulders. Obak. It is an ancient land far to the north, once a prosperous kingdom, now a frozen wasteland of broken towers, empty and decaying cities, and ships half-sunken in the ice, as if the bitter cold hit the land all at once, taking the kingdom by surprise. Believed to be a cursed region, and given its remoteness, the land is rarely visited by the wise. Deviah was to tell you what is going on and why exactly you are needed in Obak. Xethes, the head of the small caravan that you and Paevana joined, has only said that something was found and someone who can read Ixteesh is needed. He's also mentioned that more than one city-state has sent envoys to investigate the matter as well. Despite not knowing Venkath Mock's fate, and fearing the worst, you are comforted by Paevana joining you, having explained that with the razing of the Vulgar Unicorn, she has nothing left to her name. After a few days of solid travel on pony, your group finally reaches a. . . Sloping Path (on Rags) The long trail you've been following, if one could even call it a trail, slopes upward from here to the north. Badushizd is now days to the south, where the snow and ice are not eternal and the sun actually peers through the clouds. Obak, however, you've come to find is a gray and frozen wasteland. Around the faint path up the slope are a good many spruce trees, frosted with snow. You can see Storm (on whom is Paevana the alewife), Keeta (on whom is Xethes Balaam) and Nibbley (on whom is Zaucular) here.

[Themes: Fantasy, Zorkian, fan fiction, Zork, fantasy] Finally making it to the Eastlands, you find a shaft leading to the depths of the Great Underground Empire where, supposedly, lost treasures that have been forgotten for centuries are waiting to be found again. Zorkian Stories 1: G.U.E. A diversion by Marshal Tenner Winter This chamber is made of black stone. The walls are pocked with age; showing faded frescos, the subject of which can no longer be determined. The only exit is west, into a long. sloping tunnel that eventually leads back outside. The weight of stone presses upon you, and you feel you must be deep underground. [Author's Note: Finally making it to the Eastlands, you find a shaft leading to the depths of the Great Underground Empire where, supposedly, lost treasures that have been forgotten for centuries are waiting to be found again.] > You examine the fresco The frescos are faded from countless centuries. It is diffifcult to make out the scene, but you can see that there are images of people around an arch. Given the faint colors and barely-recognizable costuming, you think one of the people in the image is none other than King Duncanthrax who created the G.U.E. centuries ago. On this image, his eyes are still fresh-seeming; standing out from the rest of the faded image. > You open the fresco You open the fresco. > You look at fresco The frescos are faded from countless centuries. It is diffifcult to make out the scene, but you can see that there are images of people around an arch. Given the faint colors and barely-recognizable costuming, you think one of the people in the image is none other than King Duncanthrax who created the G.U.E. centuries ago. On this image, his eyes are still fresh-seeming; standing out from the rest of the faded image. The wall that the fresco is painted onto is open like a doorway.

> Look around This chamber is made of black stone. The walls are pocked with age; showing faded frescos, the subject of which can no longer be determined. The only exit is west, into a long. sloping tunnel that eventually leads back outside. The weight of stone presses upon you, and you feel you must be deep underground. > You enter fresco You are in a secret passage beyond the fresco wall. The air is thick with dust that has not been disturbed in what must be a millenia. There are dark passages to the north, east, and south. > Go north This is an ancient shrine. A dust covered altar sits at the north wall. On that wall is an engraving of a forgotten god. Whatever treasures lay in offering have long since been pillaged. On the floor are bones of a long-dead adventurer or pilgrim. > You examine the engraving It is an engraving of an obsolete god with many arms and legs. It is androgynous and appears to be frozen while in some sort of frenzied dance. Thinking back to your days at G.U.E. Tech's Contrastable Religions course, you think it is Sheeva; a god who was believed to keep the universe in motion while he danced and if he ever stopped, the world would end. You think that, given the state of things, maybe he stopped dancing long ago. > Inventory You are carrying: an elvish sword a small lantern (providing light) a backpack (being worn and open but empty) > About yourself You are an adventurer and you appear as such. > You look at the bones It seems to once have been a traveler or adventurer who met his fate down here long ago. > You look at the altar (the altar) It is a simple affair since the engraving is complicated enough. Whatever offerings were once left on this altar for this god have long since vanished. > You put the sword on the altar (the altar) You put the elvish sword on the altar. > You look at backpack The backpack is empty. > You look at the lantern It is your typical Frobozz Ev-R-Lit lantern. It remains lit for an entire generation before dying out. Too bad you found this one during your travel to the Eastlands and you aren't sure how long it's been on.

> Look around This is an ancient shrine. A dust covered altar sits at the north wall. On that wall is an engraving of a forgotten god. Whatever treasures lay in offering have long since been pillaged. On the floor are bones of a long-dead adventurer or pilgrim. On the altar is an elvish sword. > Search altar (the altar) On the altar is an elvish sword. > You stand on the altar (the altar) That's not something you can stand on. > You look under altar (the altar) You find nothing of interest. > You go east You are in a long tunnel that runs east to west. The walls are made of black stone and the passages stretch into ominous darkness. > Go east This intersection is dominated by an ancient gate blocking passage to the east. Tunnels run north, west, and south; each into darkness. > You examine the gate The ancient gate is black and the design is the Gothic style that was popular centuries ago in the Great Underground Empire. It would be impossible to squeeze through, and darkness dominates the other side. > You open gate It seems to be locked. > You go to the south This chamber is half-carved as a dungeon room, but then the back half degenerates into rough walls of a cave; unfinished by the carvers of these tunnels. Water drips from the ceiling of the rough portion of the chamber, forming a puddle in the back portion of the area. The drip echoes around the chamber, giving the place an air of creepiness, but otherwise, it appears empty. > You search the puddle You move your hand around the cold, dark water, finding nothing at first and about to give up, when you feel something. Pulling it out, you see you have found a skull. > You examine the skull It is small; maybe that of a child or a small person. It has been washed clean having been underwater for who-knows-how-long. > Kiss skull You can only do that to something animate. > You check what you're carrying You are carrying: a skull an elvish sword a small lantern (providing light) a backpack (being worn and open but empty) > Sing Your singing is abominable. > You drop skull Dropped. > You take the skull You pick up the skull from the ground. > You go north This chamber is half-carved as a dungeon room, but then the back half degenerates into rough walls of a cave; unfinished by the carvers of these tunnels. Water drips from the ceiling of the rough portion of the chamber, forming a puddle in the back portion of the area. The drip echoes around the chamber, giving the place an air of creepiness, but otherwise, it appears empty. This intersection is dominated by an ancient gate blocking passage to the east. Tunnels run north, west, and south; each into darkness. > You go to the north This chamber smells like rodents; fur, droppings, the whole deal. Ancient junk litters the place; rusting, rotting and slimy. The only exit is south, back to the intersection. You see a huge rat in here. It sees you and squeeks a horrible sound. Its shivering body quivers as its fur on its nape stands on end at the sight of you. It scurries towards you, jaw open and sharp teeth gnashing. > Attack rat What do you want to attack the huge rat with? > Sword You swing and cut the huge rat deeply, but its not enough to kill it. The huge rat, in turn, chomps at you, but, like you, it misses. > You attack the rat with the sword You swing and plunge your sword into the huge rat's neck. It must be your lucky day as it dies before its attack. > You look at the rat It's a huge dead rat; pretty disgusting. You wonder if there are more around... > You examine the rubbish This must be where the denizens of this portion of the Great Underground Empire threw its trash. It smells awful and the garbage is old and molded. > You search the garbage After some digging around, you find an ancient zorkmid; a gold coin of the G.U.E. > You examine the zorkmid It is a gold coin of the Great Underground Empire. The image on it is that of Duncanthrax the Bellicose.

[Themes: Zorkian, Fantasy, fantasy] > Describe the surroundings This chamber smells like rodents; fur, droppings, the whole deal. Ancient junk litters the place; rusting, rotting and slimy. The only exit is south, back to the intersection. You can see a huge dead rat here. > You go south This is a large cave covered in what appears to be webs. In the corner is some sort of nesting place for the huge spider, and it looks to be made of detritus and webbing. There is a hideous, black spider in here. The sight of it makes your skin crawl as you've never seen one this large. It scuttles quickly toward you. > You attack the spider with the sword You swing at the huge spider but miss wildly. The beast hisses at you and lunges for you but you are able to dodge its attack easily. > Keep going You chop at the huge spider but miss by an inch. The spider attacks you, teeth gnashing, but you dodge out of the way. > Keep going You swing again and finally you carve a slice into the huge spider's belly. Angrily, it lunges at you but dies before getting close enough to bite you. Greenish blood spews from its body. As the spider collapses, one of its teeth dislodges and clatters on the floor. > You take the tooth You pick up the spider fang from the ground. > You look at the fang It's pretty gross, but it's sharp. You can hold it safely and probably use it as you would a knife. > You examine the nest It is some sort of nesting place for a huge spider, and it looks to be made of detritus and webbing. Funny, you didn't know spider's made nests. > You search it There's nothing in it, but maybe something is under it. > You look under the nest You lift the disgusting, sticky thing and find an old skeleton key. > You examine the key It is an ancient key, covered in rust and dried spider webs.

[Themes: Fantasy, Zorkian, Zork, fan fiction] > Look around This is a large cave covered in what appears to be webs. In the corner is some sort of nesting place for the huge spider, and it looks to be made of detritus and webbing. You can also see a huge dead spider here. > You examine the spider (the spider fang) It's pretty gross, but it's sharp. You can hold it safely and probably use it as you would a knife. > You check your inventory You are carrying: a skeleton key a spider fang a zorkmid a skull an elvish sword a small lantern (providing light) a backpack (being worn and open but empty) > You look at the web They are old and sticky and cover almost every inch of this chamber. > You unlock Gate with the key You unlock the Ancient Gate. > You open Gate You open the Ancient Gate. > You go east This room is plain; simply a junction in this catacomb. An ancient gate dominates the western passage while stone stairs descend into darkness both southeast and northeast. > Go northeast The Great Underground Empire sure liked its galleries of art, and this room is a prime example. Paintings hang on the walls, unseen for generations. Stone steps lead upward to the southwest, the gallery continues to the east, a sturdy-looking wooden door sits in the west wall, and a passage leads north. > You examine the painting You examine a painting at random and find a portrait of Duncanthrax, the Bellicose King himself. The few liberal arts classes you've taken at G.U.E. Tech describe him as cruel, bloodthirsty, and aggressive. His portrait does little to dissuade this description. > You look at the painting You examine a painting at random and find a portrait of the mythical maiden Zilbeetha. Symbolically, she holds a crystal orb and stares into it with sad eyes. > You look at the painting You examine a painting at random and find a portrait of some wizard, unknown to you. It is labelled Zarf but you have no idea who he was or what he ever did. > You examine painting You examine a painting at random and find a portrait of the great wizard Davmar who discovered the ability to create scrolls imbued with magic spells. Symbolically, he holds a scroll in one hand, and confusingly, a zucchini in the other. > Continue You examine a painting at random and find a portrait of a man named Jizaboz whose only claim to fame was his ability to take his pants off over his head. How or why this deserves a portrait baffles you. > You keep going You examine a painting at random and find a landscape of the frozen lake Dinge. It's okay. > You continue You examine a painting at random and find a landscape featuring Hades, the Land of the Dead. It is a miasma of tortured souls lamenting in fire. In your Contrastable Religions course, your professor claimed to have been there. He said he had a good time but added the caveat "I guess you had to be there.". > Continue You examine a painting at random and find an abstract painting of colored squares and rectangles. The colors not only clash, but seem to be at each other's throats. Thankfully dust has muted this effect somewhat. > Keep going You examine a painting at random and find a landscape of castle Largoneth. A turtle is painted in the forground while the castle sits silhoutted in a sunset background. > You go west (first opening the wooden door) It seems to be locked. > You go east This portion of the gallery is a salon to showcase scultpures, however, someone took the time, long ago, to smash the sculptures into rubble. One sculpture, however, remains intact; a bust of the enchanter Korboz. Perhaps the stone it was carved from was too strong for whatever madman destroyed the other statuary in this room, or perhaps it is enchanted that way. Either way, it remains the sole surviving sculpture here. > You examine the bust It is a bust, made of white stone, of a homely wizard. It is engraved Korboz the Magnificent. > You take the bust You're carrying too many things already. > Search bust You're carrying too many things already. You find nothing of interest. > You check your inventory You are carrying: a skeleton key a spider fang a zorkmid a skull an elvish sword a small lantern (providing light) a backpack (being worn and open but empty) > You put the fang in the backpack You put the spider fang into the backpack. > You put the zorkmid in the backpack You put the zorkmid into the backpack. > You put the skull in the backpack You put the skull into the backpack. > You take the bust You pick up the bust of Korboz from the ground. > You check your inventory You are carrying: a bust of Korboz a skeleton key > You take the bust a small lantern (providing light) a backpack (being worn and open) a skull a zorkmid a spider fang You already have that. > You examine the rubble This rubble was once a room of sculptures and statuary. > Go north This was a sitting room of sorts, by the look of it. A comfy-looking, if rather dusty, sofa dominates the room. In front of the sofa is a wide, round coffee-table. On the coffee-table is a crystal ashtray. > You examine sofa It is comfy-looking but rather dusty. > You examine ashtray This is a fancy, small, crystal ashtray. Not a bad little treasure, really. > You take the ashtray You take the crystal ashtray from the coffee-table. > You examine coffee You already have that. You can't see any such thing. > You look at the table The legs seem sturdy but the top seems aged and worn.

[Themes: Fantasy, Zorkian] > You look around This was a sitting room of sorts, by the look of it. A comfy-looking, if rather dusty, sofa dominates the room. In front of the sofa is a wide, round coffee-table. > You stand on the table The surface of the coffee-table, unable to take your weight, collapses into a heap of useless wood. > You look at wood It is a heap of useless wood that was once a coffee-table. > You take the wood You pick up the heap of useless wood from the ground.

[Themes: Fantasy, Zorkian, Zork, fantasy] > Look around This was a sitting room of sorts, by the look of it. A comfy-looking, if rather dusty, sofa dominates the room. You can also see a table leg here. > You take the leg You're carrying too many things already. > You put the wood in the backpack You put the heap of useless wood into the backpack. > You take the leg You pick up the table leg from the ground.

[Themes: Fantasy, Zorkian] > You look at your surroundings This was a sitting room of sorts, by the look of it. A comfy-looking, if rather dusty, sofa dominates the room. > Go southeast This cave is somehow hollowed out of a vein of quartz. Thousands of six-sided prisms, of all sizes, surround you. Everything is rose colored and, while in here, all of your possessions seem to take on different shades of a rosy hue. The effect is disorientingly beautiful. Steps carved into the rock lead up to the northwest and tunnels lead east, and south and a narrow tunnel winds downwards to the southwest. > You take the quartz That's hardly portable. > You examine the quartz Thousands of six-sided prisms of all sizes surround you in this cave. Everytrhing is rose-colored here. > About yourself You are an adventurer and you appear as such. > You go east The dungeon corridor bends here with passages leading west and south. Doors sit in the north and east walls of the corner. There is a carven sun in the north door and a crescent moon carved in the east door. > You look at the sun (the Sun Door) This thick wooden door has the image of a stylized sun carved into it. > You look at the moon (the moon door) This thick wooden door has the image of a stylized moon carved into it. > You open Sun Door You open the Sun Door. > You open the moon door You open the moon door. > You enter the moon door This room contains no other furnishings besides an alabaster statue of a cat in a sitting pose. Its eyes twinkle slightly. The walls, floor, and ceiling are covered in mathematical, astronomical, and astrological symbols and equations. You can see a cat statue here. > You look at the statue (the bust of Korboz) It is a bust, made of white stone, of a homely wizard. It is engraved Korboz the Magnificent. > You examine the symbols As intriguing as the symbols are, they are all gibberish to you. > You examine the cat statue You go to examine the cat statue and you are suddenly transfixed by its eyes. ...still transfixed... ...darkness... You awaken. > You check your inventory You are carrying: a table leg a bust of Korboz a skeleton key an elvish sword a small lantern (providing light)

[Themes: Fantasy, Zorkian, fan fiction] > Look around This room contains no other furnishings besides an alabaster statue of a cat in a sitting pose. Its eyes twinkle slightly. The walls, floor, and ceiling are covered in mathematical, astronomical, and astrological symbols and equations. You can see a pile of dust here. > You examine dust It was once a statue of a cat...you think. > C27 Restore failed. > You check your inventory You are carrying: a table leg a crystal ashtray a bust of Korboz a skeleton key an elvish sword a small lantern (providing light) a backpack (being worn and open) a heap of useless wood a skull a zorkmid a spider fang > You take the cat It is fixed in place. That's fixed in place.

> You look around The dungeon corridor bends here with passages leading west and south. Doors sit in the north and east walls of the corner. There is a carven sun in the north door and a crescent moon carved in the east door. You can see a small lantern here. > East This room contains no other furnishings besides an alabaster statue of a cat in a sitting pose. Its eyes twinkle slightly. The walls, floor, and ceiling are covered in mathematical, astronomical, and astrological symbols and equations. You can see a cat statue here. > Inventory You are carrying: a table leg a crystal ashtray a bust of Korboz a skeleton key an elvish sword a backpack (being worn and open) a heap of useless wood a skull a zorkmid a spider fang > You drop the backpack (first taking the backpack off) Dropped. > You look at what you're carrying with you You are carrying: a table leg a crystal ashtray a bust of Korboz a skeleton key an elvish sword > You examine the cat You go to examine the cat statue and you are suddenly transfixed by its eyes. ...still transfixed... ...darkness... You awaken. > You check your inventory You are carrying: a table leg a bust of Korboz a skeleton key an elvish sword > Go west The dungeon corridor bends here with passages leading west and south. Doors sit in the north and east walls of the corner. There is a carven sun in the north door and a crescent moon carved in the east door. You can see a backpack (in which are a heap of useless wood, a skull, a zorkmid and a spider fang) and a small lantern here. > You examine the cat You go to examine the cat statue and you are suddenly transfixed by its eyes. ...still transfixed... ...darkness... You awaken.

[Themes: Fantasy, Zorkian, fan fiction] > Look around This room contains no other furnishings besides an alabaster statue of a cat in a sitting pose. Its eyes twinkle slightly. The walls, floor, and ceiling are covered in mathematical, astronomical, and astrological symbols and equations. You can see a pile of dust here. > Dust What do you want to dust? > You go to the west The dungeon corridor bends here with passages leading west and south. Doors sit in the north and east walls of the corner. There is a carven sun in the north door and a crescent moon carved in the east door. You can see a crystal ashtray, a backpack (in which are a heap of useless wood, a skull, a zorkmid and a spider fang) and a small lantern here. > You take all crystal ashtray: You pick up the crystal ashtray from the ground. backpack: You pick up the backpack from the ground. small lantern: You're carrying too many things already. heap of useless wood: You're carrying too many things already. skull: You're carrying too many things already. zorkmid: You're carrying too many things already. spider fang: You're carrying too many things already. > You look at what you're carrying with you You are carrying: a backpack (open) a heap of useless wood a skull a zorkmid a spider fang a crystal ashtray a table leg a bust of Korboz a skeleton key an elvish sword > You put the ashtray in the backpack You put the crystal ashtray into the backpack. > You take the lantern You pick up the small lantern from the ground. > Go south You believe this area to be the entrance to a temple; a pronaos. However, the temple must lie down the steps to the southeast. The darkness there seems thicker than any darkness you've seen yet. A passage also leads north; away from this temple entrance. > You go to the south-east This place is not right, nor has it been right in a very long time. It may be why it was abandoned by mysyerious people long ago. It was a temple; maybe still is. Pillars line the walls and lead down a long chamber to a strange pit, built into the floor; a perfect circle leading to darkness. It is surrounded by notches that may once have held torches. Narrow, dark passages lead northeast and southwest and a flight of stone steps leads up to the northwest. It is deathly quiet in this place. > Sing Your singing is abominable. > Go northeast This portion of the temple complex is a simple, but large room with pillars lining the walls. Ominous passages lead southwest and south. A pig-like creature, the size of a pony, turns its head and stares at you. It snorts viciously between its razor-sharp tusks. > You attack creature with sword Despite your blade being of elvish quality, it bounces harmlessly off the creature's metallic hide. With a hideous snort, the creature moves to gore you, but you dodge out of the way...just barely. > Attack creature with fang (first taking the spider fang) You're carrying too many things already. > You put the ashtray in the backpack (first taking the crystal ashtray) You're carrying too many things already. > Inventory You are carrying: a small lantern (providing light) a backpack (open) a crystal ashtray a heap of useless wood a skull a zorkmid a spider fang a table leg a bust of Korboz a skeleton key an elvish sword > You put the key in the backpack You put the skeleton key into the backpack. > You put the bust in the backpack You put the bust of Korboz into the backpack. > You attack the calydoar with the fang (first taking the spider fang) You astutely remember how venomous huge spiders are, and so, with an adept manuever, you jam the fang between the scales of the beast. It collapses on the ground, instantly dead. > You say sorry for the the wait (to yourself) There is no reply. > You examine the calydoar It resembles a boar...if a boar were imagined by a demented, devil-worshipping zoologist. > You eat calydoar (first taking the dead calydoar) Wayyyyy too heavy. > You hug calydoar You can only do that to something animate.

> You look at your surroundings This portion of the temple complex is a simple, but large room with pillars lining the walls. Ominous passages lead southwest and south. You can see a dead calydoar here. > Go south This is the furthest, back room of the temple, from what you can tell. It may have once held treasure of some sort, but has long since been ransacked and the only one of its oiginal furnishings that remain is a simple podium. Passages lead west and north. A dusty key is on the podium. On the podium is a dusty key. > Inventory You are carrying: a spider fang a small lantern (providing light) a backpack (open) a bust of Korboz a skeleton key a crystal ashtray a heap of useless wood a skull a zorkmid a table leg an elvish sword > You put the fang in the backpack You put the spider fang into the backpack. > You take the key (the dusty key) You pick up the dusty key from the ground. > You look at key (the dusty key) You see nothing special about the dusty key. > You look at the podium On the podium is a dusty key. > You check your inventory You are carrying: a dusty key a small lantern (providing light) a backpack (open) a spider fang a bust of Korboz a skeleton key a crystal ashtray a heap of useless wood a skull a zorkmid a table leg an elvish sword > You take the dusty key (the dusty key) You take the dusty key from the podium. > You check what you're carrying You are carrying: a dusty key a dusty key a small lantern (providing light) a backpack (open) a spider fang a bust of Korboz a skeleton key a crystal ashtray a heap of useless wood a skull a zorkmid a table leg an elvish sword

> You look at your surroundings This is the furthest, back room of the temple, from what you can tell. It may have once held treasure of some sort, but has long since been ransacked and the only one of its oiginal furnishings that remain is a simple podium. Passages lead west and north. > Go west This is the opisthodomos of the temple; but to you, it's basically just another room of this forboding complex. Passages lead northeast and east. Crumpled in the southwest corner is the desicated corpse of a long-dead adventurer. > You examine adventurer This was once maybe a scholar or adventurer who delved to learn the secrets of the Great Underground Empire, but who was not as lucky as you've been...thus far. > You search adventurer As you examine the body, you realize it has long since been ransacked of any real valuables. However, a page from a journal is found under its left boot. > You read the page The language is an archaic form of Borphese, but you can read it easily enough. Apparently the corpse was once a scholar who was deciphering the many runes and engravings around this temple. It's mostly useless, but perhaps there is something to one sentence in particular. It reads "the pit is a door only death can unlock". > You look at the pit It is a perfect circular pit, built into the floor of the temple in the place where you would normally think an altar would exist. Around the pit are notches; most likely where torches would have been placed. > Inventory You are carrying: a journal page a dusty key a dusty key a small lantern (providing light) a backpack (open) a spider fang a bust of Korboz a skeleton key a crystal ashtray a heap of useless wood a skull a zorkmid a table leg an elvish sword > You put the table leg in the backpack You put the table leg into the backpack. > You put the page in the backpack You put the journal page into the backpack. > You take the skull You take the skull from the backpack. > You put the skull in the pit You toss the skull into the strange pit. The darkness swallows it and you do not hear it hit any bottom. A moment passes. Suddenly, a strange violet smoke rises from the strange pit; whispy at first, but then thickening to an impenetrable cloud. You take a step back, unsure of what is happening. You are thinking of just fleeing this strange temple when a deathly groan comes from the pit, freezing you in your tracks and filling you with terror. But then, suddenly, the groaning stops and the smoke dissipates. Looking around, you see the skull has returned, but actually, it's not the same skull, for the one that now sits on the edge of the strange pit is slick with a waxy coating, as if it had just been spit out of a horrible mouth, and a faint, violet glow can be seen within its eyes. > You look at the skull This is a strange skull, dark gray in color and slick with an unknown, greasy coating. A faint, violet glow can be seen within its eyes. > You take it You pick up the strange skull from the ground.

[Themes: Fantasy, Zorkian, fan fiction] > Look around This place is not right, nor has it been right in a very long time. It may be why it was abandoned by mysyerious people long ago. It was a temple; maybe still is. Pillars line the walls and lead down a long chamber to a strange pit, built into the floor; a perfect circle leading to darkness. It is surrounded by notches that may once have held torches. Narrow, dark passages lead northeast and southwest and a flight of stone steps leads up to the northwest. It is deathly quiet in this place. > Go northwest You believe this area to be the entrance to a temple; a pronaos. However, the temple must lie down the steps to the southeast. The darkness there seems thicker than any darkness you've seen yet. A passage also leads north; away from this temple entrance. > Go south This room is carved perfectly square from the rock. A passage leads north. A door in the wall is featureless save for three buttons colored blue, yellow, and red respectively. An inscription is above the buttons. > You read the inscription The inscription reads: THE SORE SPENDER > You check your inventory You are carrying: a strange skull a dusty key a dusty key a small lantern (providing light) a backpack (open) a journal page a table leg a spider fang a bust of Korboz a skeleton key a crystal ashtray a heap of useless wood a zorkmid an elvish sword > You press the blue button You press the blue button and die from electrocution. > You press the red button You press the red button and you hear a click.

[Themes: Zorkian, Fantasy, fan fiction] > You press the yellow button You press the yellow button and die from electrocution. > You attack the self with the leg (first taking the table leg) You're carrying too many things already. > You examine the bust It is a bust, made of white stone, of a homely wizard. It is engraved Korboz the Magnificent. > You put the strange skull in the backpack You put the strange skull into the backpack. > You take the leg You take the table leg from the backpack. > You take zorkmid You take the zorkmid from the backpack. > You press the red button You press the red button and you hear a click. > You check what you're carrying You are carrying: a zorkmid a dusty key a dusty key a small lantern (providing light) a backpack (open) a table leg a strange skull a journal page a spider fang a bust of Korboz a skeleton key a crystal ashtray a heap of useless wood an elvish sword > You go to the southwest This cavernous room is made of pure sapphire, from what you can tell. In its raw form, it is ugly yet it still glimmers in your lamp's light. Passages lead west and southwest and a narrower passage leads upwards to the northeast. > You go west This is a low, yet still vaulted dungeon corridor. The corridor runs south to east and an oak door sits in the west wall. > You open Door It seems to be locked. > You unlock Door with the dusty key Which do you mean, the dusty key or the dusty key? > You check what you're carrying You are carrying: a zorkmid a dusty key a dusty key a small lantern (providing light) a backpack (open) a table leg a strange skull a journal page a spider fang a bust of Korboz a skeleton key a crystal ashtray a heap of useless wood an elvish sword > You drop the key Which do you mean, the dusty key, the dusty key or the skeleton key? > You drop all zorkmid: Dropped. dusty key: Dropped. dusty key: Dropped. small lantern: Dropped. backpack: Dropped. elvish sword: Dropped. > You take the backpack You pick up the backpack from the ground. > You take the lantern You pick up the small lantern from the ground. > You take zorkmid You pick up the zorkmid from the ground. > Inventory You are carrying: a zorkmid a small lantern (providing light) an elvish sword a backpack (open) a table leg a strange skull a journal page a spider fang a bust of Korboz a skeleton key a crystal ashtray a heap of useless wood

[Themes: Zorkian, Fantasy, fan fiction] > You look around This is a low, yet still vaulted dungeon corridor. The corridor runs south to east and an oak door sits in the west wall. You can see a dusty key and a dusty key here. > You take the fang You take the spider fang from the backpack. > You take all dusty key: You pick up the dusty key from the ground. dusty key: You're carrying too many things already. table leg: You're carrying too many things already. strange skull: You're carrying too many things already. journal page: You're carrying too many things already. bust of Korboz: You're carrying too many things already. skeleton key: You're carrying too many things already. crystal ashtray: You're carrying too many things already. heap of useless wood: You're carrying too many things already. > Go south This room may have once been a guard room. It's nothing now. Exits lead north and northeast, and a door is to the west. > You drop the dusty key Dropped. > Go north This is a low, yet still vaulted dungeon corridor. The corridor runs south to east and an oak door sits in the west wall. You can see a dusty key here. > You take the dusty key You pick up the dusty key from the ground.

> Look around This is a low, yet still vaulted dungeon corridor. The corridor runs south to east and an oak door sits in the west wall. > You go east This cavernous room is made of pure sapphire, from what you can tell. In its raw form, it is ugly yet it still glimmers in your lamp's light. Passages lead west and southwest and a narrower passage leads upwards to the northeast. > You go south This room may have once been a guard room. It's nothing now. Exits lead north and northeast, and a door is to the west. You can see a dusty key here. > You open Door with dusty key You unlock the guard door. > You check your inventory You are carrying: a dusty key a spider fang a zorkmid a small lantern (providing light) an elvish sword a backpack (open) a table leg a strange skull a journal page a bust of Korboz a skeleton key a crystal ashtray a heap of useless wood > You put the dusty key in the backpack You put the dusty key into the backpack. > Go west (first opening the guard door) This may have once been an alchemical lab. Shards of glass cover the floor as if someone went off his nut and smashed everything in here. The only passage from here is back to the east. A beaker seems to have been found and set back in place in the center of a shelf. > You put the fang in the backpack You put the spider fang into the backpack. > You look at the beaker In the beaker is a rusted key. > You take the rusted key As you take the rusted key from its resting place, an ominous thum begins to permeate the air in the room. Suddenly, many of the broken shards gather themselves together into a hulking humanoid form. It blocks your escape and approaches you with evil intent, no doubt. You take the rusted key from the beaker. > You attack the glass with the table leg (the glass monster with the table leg) (first taking the table leg) > You attack the glass with the sword (the glass monster with the elvish sword) You swing the elvish blade at the glass monster and, true to its nature, it helps defend you from such evil magic by smashing much of its glass body back to little pieces on the floor. Unfortunately, it isn't vanquished yet and it swings at you; an attack that you deftly dodge. > Continue (the glass monster with the elvish sword) Thankfully, with your next attack, you are able to smash the creature back into the tiny glass shards from where it originated.

[Themes: Zorkian, Fantasy, Zork] > You look around This may have once been an alchemical lab. Shards of glass cover the floor as if someone went off his nut and smashed everything in here. The only passage from here is back to the east. A beaker seems to have been found and set back in place in the center of a shelf. > Examine beaker The beaker is empty. > You check what you're carrying You are carrying: a table leg a rusted key a zorkmid a small lantern (providing light) an elvish sword a backpack (open) a spider fang a dusty key a strange skull a journal page a bust of Korboz a skeleton key a crystal ashtray a heap of useless wood > You put the table leg in the backpack You put the table leg into the backpack. > You take the beaker You pick up the beaker from the ground.

[Themes: Zorkian, Fantasy] > You look at your surroundings This may have once been an alchemical lab. Shards of glass cover the floor as if someone went off his nut and smashed everything in here. The only passage from here is back to the east. > Inventory You are carrying: a beaker (empty) a rusted key a zorkmid a small lantern (providing light) an elvish sword a backpack (open) a table leg a spider fang a dusty key a strange skull a journal page a bust of Korboz a skeleton key a crystal ashtray a heap of useless wood > You open Door with the rusted key You unlock the oak door. > You go to the west (first opening the oak door) You are at the east end of a ginormous library. Shelves upon shelves of books stretch high over your head and the place seems to have been somewhat ransacked. Besides the shelves, some of the books are strewn about the floor; tossed aside as if someone was desperately looking for something. The flickering flames from scattered braziers make the shadows dance in this large, oddly shaped room. More of the library can be reached to the west and southwest. > You put the rusted key in the backpack You put the rusted key into the backpack. > You look at the shelves Books, books, everywhere...all shapes and sizes, and all have one thing in common: they are all written in tongues unknown to you. > You go to the west You are at the west end of a ginormous library. Shelves upon shelves of books stretch high over your head and the place seems to have been somewhat ransacked. Besides the shelves, some of the books are strewn about the floor; tossed aside as if someone was desperately looking for something. The flickering flames from scattered braziers make the shadows dance in this large, oddly shaped room. More of the library can be reached to the east and south. A large and strange glass globe is placed in the corner of the library here. Inside, there seems to be a man, dressed much as an elderly wizard, who beats on the glass shouting pleas at you. However, you cannot hear his words or even the thumping on the glass. > Wave You wave, feeling foolish. > You examine man He is dressed much as you've seen wizards dress, however, you haven't seen some of his style choices outside of a book of history of the Great Underground Empire. He seems to be in distress and is pounding, albeit soundlessly, on the glass, shouting unheard, and pointing exasperatedly to the south. > You examine the globe A large and strange glass globe is placed in the corner of the library here. Inside, there seems to be a man, dressed much as an elderly wizard, who beats on the glass shouting pleas at you. However, you cannot hear his words or even the thumping on the glass. In the prison globe is a wizard. > You go south You are at the south end of a ginormous library. Shelves upon shelves of books stretch high over your head and the place seems to have been somewhat ransacked. Besides the shelves, some of the books are strewn about the floor; tossed aside as if someone was desperately looking for something. The flickering flames from scattered braziers make the shadows dance in this large, oddly shaped room. More of the library can be reached to the north and northeast. Across from you, tearing out books from the shelves as if frantically seeking something, is a headless demon. > You examine the demon He seems as if he were a well-dressed man; only without a head. He is frantically pulling books off the shelf, examining them swiftly, and throwing them behind him. He is obviously searching for a particular book, you imagine. > You look at what you're carrying with you You are carrying: a beaker (empty) a zorkmid a small lantern (providing light) an elvish sword a backpack (open) a rusted key a table leg a spider fang a dusty key a strange skull a journal page a bust of Korboz a skeleton key a crystal ashtray a heap of useless wood > You take the skull You take the strange skull from the backpack. > You throw the skull at the demon You toss the strange skull at the demon and as it hits him, he (and the skull) instantly disappear from this dimension with an audible pop sound.

[Themes: Zorkian, Fantasy, Zork] > You describe your surroundings You are at the south end of a ginormous library. Shelves upon shelves of books stretch high over your head and the place seems to have been somewhat ransacked. Besides the shelves, some of the books are strewn about the floor; tossed aside as if someone was desperately looking for something. The flickering flames from scattered braziers make the shadows dance in this large, oddly shaped room. More of the library can be reached to the north and northeast. > You go north You are at the west end of a ginormous library. Shelves upon shelves of books stretch high over your head and the place seems to have been somewhat ransacked. Besides the shelves, some of the books are strewn about the floor; tossed aside as if someone was desperately looking for something. The flickering flames from scattered braziers make the shadows dance in this large, oddly shaped room. More of the library can be reached to the east and south. The wizard seems to have aged wayy past his expiration date. The globe prison must have kept him alive, but now that the demon magic that created it has gone, the wizard's years finally caught up with him. The globe prison now lies in shards. > You search wizard You find something very special. You don't know why you know this, but you do. It is a small tome written in an archaic tongue. Perhaps this is what the demon was searching for all along. The englobed wizard must've been hiding it on his person this whole time. Of all the treasures you've found today, this tome may be more important (and expensive) than you know...

[Themes: Humor, bomb] Loading game... Cut the Red Wire! No, the Blue Wire! Cut the Red Wire! No, the Blue Wire! The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. [Author's Note: You are a bomb disposal expert at the old warehouse on Throggmorton Row facing a big, nasty bomb. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.] > About you You're a bit short for your height, but otherwise unremarkable. Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke. The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the best damn explosion they've witnessed all week. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. > You cut red Wire You cut the red wire. A moment's breathless anticipation follows. Followed by a thunderous explosion as the bomb explodes anyway. Ah well, it was a good try. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. > You cut blue Wire You cut the blue wire. A moment's breathless anticipation follows. Followed by a thunderous explosion as the bomb explodes anyway. Ah well, it was a good try. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. [MORE] > You massage the buttocks The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. > You pull blue Wire You pull the blue wire, hoping this might defuse the bomb. The thunderously loud explosion which abruptly tears you apart indicates this isn't the case. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. > You examine the bomb It's a remarkably nasty and efficient looking bomb. The sort of bomb that immediately commands attention. A guy would have to be totally mad, or have a death wish on his hands, to try and defuse something like this. Why is it, you wonder, that you decided to become a bomb disposal expert? Wasn't stacking shelves in Asda enough excitement for you? [MORE] > You press the green Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke. The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the best damn explosion they've witnessed all week. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. > You eat bomb Whatever that was, it won't be done. Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke. The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the best damn explosion they've witnessed all week. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. > You throw the bomb at the crowd You attempt to engage the sightseers but as they're only here for the spectacle of seeing you go up in smoke, they don't prove very helpful. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke. The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the best damn explosion they've witnessed all week. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. > Pray You try praying. It's never worked before and, unsurprisingly, it doesn't work now. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke. The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the best damn explosion they've witnessed all week. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. > You examine red Wire The red wire stares at you and you stare at it. Unfortunately, this staring contest has only one winner: the bomb. [MORE] > You look at red Wire You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. > You examine blue Wire The blue wire stares at you and you stare at it. Unfortunately, this staring contest has only one winner: the bomb. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. Whatever that was, it won't be done. [MORE] > You check your inventory Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke. The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the best damn explosion they've witnessed all week. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. Whatever that was, it won't be done. [MORE] > Inventory Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke. The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the best damn explosion they've witnessed all week. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. > No the blue wire You cut the red wire. A moment's breathless anticipation follows. Followed by a thunderous explosion as the bomb explodes anyway. Ah well, it was a good try. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. The blue wire stares at you and you stare at it. Unfortunately, this staring contest has only one winner: the bomb. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. > You check your inventory You are carrying a pair of wire cutters. Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke. The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the best damn explosion they've witnessed all week. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. > You examine yourself [x me] You're a bit short for your height, but otherwise unremarkable. Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke. The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the best damn explosion they've witnessed all week. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. > Xyzzy You utter the magic word, hoping it will defuse the bomb, move it to a safe location, shield you from its blast, or save you in some other way. Unfortunately it doesn't do anything other than waste your last moment on Earth due to the bomb exploding a moment later. > You look at the clamp Whatever that was, it won't be done. Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke. The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the best damn explosion they've witnessed all week. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. Whatever that was, it won't be done. Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke. The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the best damn explosion they've witnessed all week. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. > You turn off the bomb Whatever that was, it won't be done. Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke. The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the best damn explosion they've witnessed all week. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. > You examine the wall Your thoughts stray in the direction of the walls, but the bomb has other ideas and blows you up so the walls will forever remain a mystery. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. > You attach red Wire to blue Wire The red wire stares at you and you stare at it. Unfortunately, this staring contest has only one winner: the bomb. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. > You hit the bomb [kill bomb] Thoughts of violence enter your mind but are never acted upon due to the unfortunately timed explosion from the bomb. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. > You hit the bomb with the davidw [kill bomb with DavidW] Thoughts of violence enter your mind but are never acted upon due to the unfortunately timed explosion from the bomb. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. > You wake up [wake u] Whatever that was, it won't be done. Unfortunately, your hesitation has cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke. The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the best damn explosion they've witnessed all week. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb. > You cut green Wire Which wire? The red wire or the blue wire? Unfortunately, your struggles with disambiguation have cost you dearly. The bomb explodes, taking you, and it, up in a large cloud of smoke. The sightseers give a raucous cheer and conclude that this was the best damn explosion they've witnessed all week. You float up to Heaven where Saint Paul, decked out in Armani garb to die for, informs you that the Big Guy is mightily disappointed in your shoddy performance and has determined you're going to go right back down and get it done properly. You aren't given a say in this, but Saint Paul does give you a hefty kick up the backside to speed you on your way. Massage your aching buttocks and press the RETURN key if you'd be so kind. The warehouse itself is nothing special. The large bomb clamped to a wall in the centre of the main area is. A cordon has been erected around it, keeping back a crowd of sightseers eager to see a bomb disposal expert blown to pieces. A red wire and a blue wire dangle from the side of the bomb.

Late night movie night at your place! It's two AM, your friends are here, the DVD is already in the machine, and you're ready to watch. Or are you? Ragnarok: Twilight of the Gods A New Year's SpeedIF Game (with non-standard parameters: type XYZZY for details) This is the place where you prepare food. And by "prepare food", of course, I mean "microwave frozen burritos" and "call for pizza". It's fitted out with all the usual amenities: refrigerator, stove, microwave, cabinets, a large disembodied brain floating in the corner. Pretty much your standard IF protagonist's kitchen. The living room is to the east. Mindo is floating placidly in the corner. [Author's Note: Late night movie night at your place! It's two AM, your friends are here, the DVD is already in the machine, and you're ready to watch. Or are you?]

> You look at the self As good-looking as ever. > Xyzzy vimes says, "Hm. Kernels, Ragnarok, mind, a copper coin, and a badly-implemented NPC." > You examine the brain Ah, Mindo The Mind. You and Mindo have been friends ever since third grade, when a bunch of bigger kids were picking on you for not knowing how to balance a checkbook, and Mindo defended you by telekinetically flinging all of the bullies through the air into the community swimming hole on the other side of town. Good times. He's never been much of a conversationalist, but he's an awesome roommate and the coolest disembodied brain you've ever met. > You think What a good idea. > You show yourself to Mindo (first taking yourself) You are always self-possessed.

> Look around This is the place where you prepare food. And by "prepare food", of course, I mean "microwave frozen burritos" and "call for pizza". It's fitted out with all the usual amenities: refrigerator, stove, microwave, cabinets, a large disembodied brain floating in the corner. Pretty much your standard IF protagonist's kitchen. The living room is to the east. Mindo is floating placidly in the corner. > You take all Mindo: I don't suppose Mindo would care for that. lights: They're hardly portable. refrigerator: That's hardly portable. freezer: That's hardly portable. telephone: It's two in the morning. It's too late to be calling anyone on the phone. stove: That's hardly portable. microwave oven: That's hardly portable. cabinets: They're hardly portable. > You call for the pizza It's two in the morning. It's too late to be calling anyone on the phone. > You open the fridge That seems like a monumentally unwise idea. The last time you opened the fridge, you ended up spending a week in the hospital and lost all memories for thirty-six hours before and after the event. But hey, if you want to give it a shot, it's your funeral. > You open the freezer Dang, no more burritos. You'll have to go to the store. > You open the cabinets You open the cabinets, revealing a bowl of unpopped popcorn kernels and a fuse box. > Examine box (the microwave oven) A black box with a door and numbers on the front. You use it to reheat schezuan shrimp, nuke frozen burritos and pop popcorn. > You take the Kernels Taken. > You look at the fuse Which do you mean, the fuse box or the dusty fuse? > You eat the Kernels You try one. Ow! No wonder people pop these first. > You look at dusty It's a dusty old fuse that has served you well for years. > You open the microwave Fortunately, you haven't accidentally left anything in there overnight. This time. > You get the Kernels You already have that. > You put the Kernels in the microwave You're about to put the bowl of popcorn kernels into the microwave when you feel a telekinetic tug at your arm. Mindo telepathically communicates, "You shouldn't make popcorn without oil. Unless you have an air popper. Which we don't." Mindo is, as usual, correct. > You examine the stove You have mixed emotions when you think back to the day you last used this stove. You were making tuna noodle casserole. You're still not exactly sure why the contents exploded, but you haven't been able to pry the oven open since. > You go east Everyone is here! Lisa's settled into the big armchair, Thor is hanging out on the couch, Mindo is -- well, Mindo's still in the kitchen, but he'll come in when the movie starts, undoubtedly. You've already got the DVD in your combination TV/DVD player, so you just need to turn it on and late night movie night can begin! Thor rumbles, "The time has come for time for Ragnarok, Twilight of the Gods! THOR MUST NOT BE KEPT WAITING!" Your reflexes serve you well, as you duck just before a lightning bolt arcs from Thor's fingers, passing inches from your head, and striking someplace in the kitchen behind you. Instantly, all the lights go dark. "Oops," rumbles Thor, "Did I do that?" > You ask Lisa about the oil Lisa mumbles, "Wake me up when it's time for the popcorn and the movie, 'K?" > You look at Lisa Lisa is dozing in the big armchair. > You look at Thor Thor, the Norse god of thunder, is hanging out on the couch. > You ask thor about the oil Thor rumbles, "The time has come for Ragnarok, Twilight of the Gods!" > You look under the couch You poke around between the couch cushions. Thor rumbles, "This is an indignity up with which I should not have to put!" But he still lifts his butt cheek enough to let you check underneath the cushion he's sitting on. Jackpot! You come away with a candy wrapper, a quarter, a small bottle of oil, a penny, a dime and a wad of cat hair! > You eat the cat That's plainly inedible. > Go west This is the place where you prepare food. And by "prepare food", of course, I mean "microwave frozen burritos" and "call for pizza". It's fitted out with all the usual amenities: refrigerator, stove, microwave, cabinets, a large disembodied brain floating in the corner. Pretty much your standard IF protagonist's kitchen. The living room is to the east. It's also pretty dark in here. It's a good thing you've got excellent night vision, or else that could be somewhat inconvenient. Mindo is floating placidly in the corner. > About you As good-looking as ever. > You put the coin in the fuse Which do you mean, the fuse box or the burnt-out fuse? > You gethe burnt-out fuse Taken. > You put penny in fuse box Yowch! You suck your fingers for a moment, wondering if maybe you should get a trained electrician to stick pennies in your fuse box in the future. But on the plus side, the lights are back on! > You check what you're carrying You are carrying: a burnt-out fuse a wad of cat hair a dime a small bottle of oil a quarter a candy wrapper a bowl of unpopped popcorn kernels > You put oil on popcorn You pour the oil over the popcorn kernels and dispose of the bottle. > You put the popcorn in the microwave You put the bowl of oiled popcorn kernels into the microwave, set it for two minutes and thirty-four seconds, and close the door. A few moments later, you hear a sizzling, popping noise. A few moments after that, the microwave explodes. Hrm. I probably should have mentioned that it was a metal bowl. My bad.

> Look around This is the place where you prepare food. And by "prepare food", of course, I mean "microwave frozen burritos" and "call for pizza". It's fitted out with all the usual amenities: refrigerator, stove, exploded microwave, cabinets, a large disembodied brain floating in the corner. Pretty much your standard IF protagonist's kitchen. The living room is to the east Mindo is floating placidly in the corner. > You examine the microwave A total mess. The door hangs off at a decorative (but non-functional) angle, the timer display is cracked down the middle, and every part of it is pitted with black scorch marks. On the plus side, the microwave is full of freshly-popped popcorn. > You take it That's hardly portable. > You eat the popcorn You try a mouthful. It's tasty! Admittedly, it could use some salt, but you've already done enough for this puzzle, so we'll just call it tasty. > Go east Everyone is here! Lisa's settled into the big armchair, Thor is hanging out on the couch, Mindo is -- well, Mindo's still in the kitchen, but he'll come in when the movie starts, undoubtedly. You've already got the DVD in your combination TV/DVD player, so you just need to turn it on and late night movie night can begin! > You wake lisa Lisa mumbles, "Wake me up when it's time for the popcorn and the movie, 'K?" > You turn on the player Lisa immediately kicks the power button with her foot, turning it back off again. Lisa mumbles, "Can't watch a movie without popcorn..." Thor rumbles, "But The time has come for Ragnarok, Twilight of the Gods!" From the other room, Mindo telepathically communicates, "Providing snacks is one of your duties as a host." Mindo is, as usual, correct. > You examine the player The DVD is already in the player. You just need to turn it on. > You give the popcorn to Lisa Lisa mumbles, "Rock on. Let's start the flick, guys." > You turn on the player You turn on the DVD player and TV, then join Thor on the couch. Mindo drifts in from the kitchen as the copyright notice plays. Lisa munches her popcorn, and the opening title sequence finally begins: RAGNAROK: TWILIGHT OF THE GODS Thor rumbles, "Huzzah!" > You check your inventory Please give one of the answers above. Please give one of the answers above. Late night movie night at your place! It's two AM, your friends are here, the DVD is already in the machine, and you're ready to watch. Or are you? Ragnarok: Twilight of the Gods A New Year's SpeedIF Game (with non-standard parameters: type XYZZY for details) This is the place where you prepare food. And by "prepare food", of course, I mean "microwave frozen burritos" and "call for pizza". It's fitted out with all the usual amenities: refrigerator, stove, microwave, cabinets, a large disembodied brain floating in the corner. Pretty much your standard IF protagonist's kitchen. The living room is to the east. Mindo is floating placidly in the corner. > You go east Everyone is here! Lisa's settled into the big armchair, Thor is hanging out on the couch, Mindo is -- well, Mindo's still in the kitchen, but he'll come in when the movie starts, undoubtedly. You've already got the DVD in your combination TV/DVD player, so you just need to turn it on and late night movie night can begin! Thor rumbles, "The time has come for time for Ragnarok, Twilight of the Gods! THOR MUST NOT BE KEPT WAITING!" Your reflexes serve you well, as you duck just before a lightning bolt arcs from Thor's fingers, passing inches from your head, and striking someplace in the kitchen behind you. Instantly, all the lights go dark. "Oops," rumbles Thor, "Did I do that?" > You take all lights: They're hardly portable. Lisa: I don't suppose Lisa would care for that. Thor: I don't suppose Thor would care for that. (couch): Alas, there are no more treasures to be found in the sofa for the time being. combination TV/DVD player: That's hardly portable. > You look at what you're carrying with you You are carrying: a wad of cat hair a dime a penny a small bottle of oil a quarter a candy wrapper > Examine wrapper It's apparently from an Almond Joy. > You look at the quarter Twenty-five cents! That's enough to buy a Garfield phone at a yard sale. Too bad it's Canadian. > You examine dime Ten cents. At one time, this is what you needed if you wanted to make a phone call. > You examine the oil You're not really sure what kind of oil this is, but you think it might be left over from when Mindo took that massage class. It's amazing what he was able to do for the knots in your shoulders despite not actually possessing hands. > You sit on the couch You get onto the (couch). > Go west You'll have to get off the (couch) first. > You stand You get off the (couch). Everyone is here! Lisa's settled into the big armchair, Thor is hanging out on the couch, Mindo is -- well, Mindo's still in the kitchen, but he'll come in when the movie starts, undoubtedly. You've already got the DVD in your combination TV/DVD player, so you just need to turn it on and late night movie night can begin! It's also pretty dark in here. It's a good thing you've got excellent night vision, or else that could be somewhat inconvenient. > You look at what you're carrying with you You are carrying: a wad of cat hair a dime a penny a small bottle of oil a quarter a candy wrapper

> You look around Everyone is here! Lisa's settled into the big armchair, Thor is hanging out on the couch, Mindo is -- well, Mindo's still in the kitchen, but he'll come in when the movie starts, undoubtedly. You've already got the DVD in your combination TV/DVD player, so you just need to turn it on and late night movie night can begin! It's also pretty dark in here. It's a good thing you've got excellent night vision, or else that could be somewhat inconvenient. > Go west This is the place where you prepare food. And by "prepare food", of course, I mean "microwave frozen burritos" and "call for pizza". It's fitted out with all the usual amenities: refrigerator, stove, microwave, cabinets, a large disembodied brain floating in the corner. Pretty much your standard IF protagonist's kitchen. The living room is to the east. It's also pretty dark in here. It's a good thing you've got excellent night vision, or else that could be somewhat inconvenient. Mindo is floating placidly in the corner. > You open the fridge That seems like a monumentally unwise idea. The last time you opened the fridge, you ended up spending a week in the hospital and lost all memories for thirty-six hours before and after the event. But hey, if > You open the microwave you want to give it a shot, it's your funeral. Fortunately, you haven't accidentally left anything in there overnight. This time. > You open fridge You take a deep breath, brace yourself against the unknown, and open the door. Do you remember that scene near the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark? Yeah, well. This ain't the glory of God here, but the outcome is otherwise strikingly similar. Better luck next time around. > You get the bowl and the box bowl of unpopped popcorn kernels: Taken. microwave oven: That's hardly portable. > You examine the bowl What the heck? Aren't popcorn kernels supposed to come in a paper bag? With microwave instructions on the back? > You open the microwave That's already open. > You go east Everyone is here! Lisa's settled into the big armchair, Thor is hanging out on the couch, Mindo is -- well, Mindo's still in the kitchen, but he'll come in when the movie starts, undoubtedly. You've already got the DVD in your combination TV/DVD player, so you just need to turn it on and late night movie night can begin! It's also pretty dark in here. It's a good thing you've got excellent night vision, or else that could be somewhat inconvenient. > You look at the fuse box An open-faced fuse box. Conveniently, your entire home runs on just one fuse. In the fuse box is a burnt-out fuse. > You examine the telephone A telephone in the shape of Garfield the cat which you picked up for only a quarter at a yard sale. Cha-ching! > You call Thor It's two in the morning. It's too late to be calling anyone on the phone. > You put the cat in the microwave (the wad of cat hair in the microwave oven) You won't be microwaving anything without electricity. > You put penny in the fuse (the burnt-out fuse) That can't contain things. > You eat the oil That's plainly inedible. > You go east Everyone is here! Lisa's settled into the big armchair, Thor is hanging out on the couch, Mindo is -- well, Mindo's still in the kitchen, but he'll come in when the movie starts, undoubtedly. You've already got the DVD in your combination TV/DVD player, so you just need to turn it on and late night movie night can begin! It's also pretty dark in here. It's a good thing you've got excellent night vision, or else that could be somewhat inconvenient.

[Themes: Mystery, boat, mystery, sea, ocean] Yesterday, as you were walking through Central Park, a meteorite crashed nearby, bathing you in cosmic radiation. It only made the twelth page of the paper, under Dear Abby. Of course, if anyone could have foreseen the awful effects of that accident, it surely would have been a front page story. But there was no way for you, or anyone else, to predict that the result of that accident would be.... The Underoos That Ate New York! (c) 1994. All Rights Reserved. Email: gkw@pobox.com Type 'xyzzy' for help and information. Standard interpreter 1.0 Your Bedroom (on the bed) Home sweet home for a '60s throwback bachelor like yourself. Assorted, but unimportant decorations litter the walls and ceiling. To the west is a door that, as you fuzzily recall, leads into your walk-in closet. To the east is a hallway, that, as you even more fuzzily recall, leads to the kitchen. [Author's Note: Go sailing on a yacht with three friends, and a corpse.]

[Themes: Mystery, sea, ocean] > Xyzzy A hollow voice says, "This is a short sample 'game' designed to test out some programming ideas I had. It pays homage to the bad old sci-fi B movies. The material here is, I suppose, vaguely mystifying to small children, so parents be warned, play it through first yourself, and make your own decision about it."

[Themes: Mystery, ocean, mystery] How did Thom ever talk you into this one... Your friend Thom Hall has always been a smooth talker, which is probably how he got you to attend his party on board the *Bellerophon*. The fourty-eight-foot yacht is named after the H.M.S. Bellerophon, the ship on which Napoleon formally surrendered in 1815 after Waterloo. Thom isn't usually too modest. Anyway, you're now stuck at a floating party with three other people you barely know, friends of Thom's. Bill Leveritt is one of Thom's partners in his architectural firm. Carl Weathers, another old friend of Thom's, brought his girlfriend Ashleigh Flannagin, which completes the floating fivesome. So far you've seen Bill and Thom yell at each other, Thom hit Carl for some unexplained reason, and Ashleigh ignore both Thom and you. Not the most pleasant party you've ever been to. And it's barely 10 a.m... Undertow v1.1 (9/5/1995) by Stephen Granade The forward head sports a small toilet, a sink, and a miniscule shower. In the floor is a small drain; above the sink, a mirror and medicine cabinet. A closed door leads west. > You open the cabinet Opened. > Inventory You are empty-handed. > You look at it It is bolted to the wall just above the sink. It is made of strong plastic, and is open. > You examine the drain It sees a lot of use due to the shower. Its metal surface is streaked with hard-water stains. > Time The time is now 10:12 a.m. > About yourself You look remarkably like yourself. > You go west You'll have to open the door first. > You open the door It's locked. > You unlock door Unlocked. > You open the door Opened. > Go west Compact yet liveable, the fore stateroom has two v-berths that meet near the nose of the ship. On the port wall is a hanging locker, and across from it is the door to the forward head, standing open. A small ladder to the south leads up to a door. Sitting on the left v-berth is a pill bottle. > You examine bottle The closed bottle is opaque and plastic. The label has been torn off, so you don't know where it came from or what its pills do. All that is left is a faded sketch of a man with dark circles under his eyes. > You get the bottle Taken. > You open it Opening the pill bottle reveals five little pills. > You eat the pill You swallow the pill, grimacing at its chalky taste. Almost immediately, you feel a wave of lethargy sweep over you. You have to fight off the overwhelming urge to sleep. > You open the locker Opening the hanging locker reveals a safe. > You examine safe Squat, grey, metal. It obviously requires a key to unlock it. Part of the top of the safe is scarred with deep gouges. > You examine the gouges On closer inspection, you can see that the gouges outline a panel. > You examine the panel The panel is surrounded by gouges, evidence of prior removals. > You open it No matter how you try to fit your fingers around the panel, you fail. Evidently the panel is not openable without the assistance of a tool. > Up The forecastle of the boat is surprisingly comfortable despite its small size. The helm controls, including the wheel, are mounted on the fore wall, next to a chest-of-drawers which sports a lamp. Across from the chest and beside the west entrance is the galley; between the galley and the helm is a companionway to the fore stateroom. Also on the port wall, aft of the entrance, is a small bar. Across from it is a dinette bench. Windows are at each of the cardinal directions. The west entranceway is open, as is the companionway to the north. Sitting on the small bar is a drink tray. > You examine the tray The wooden drink tray has held many, many drinks on its surface and is discolored with many, many drink stains. Right now it holds a whiskey bottle, a scotch bottle, a wine bottle, and a bottle of beer. One edge is chipped slightly. Carl arrives from the west. > You examine Carl Carl Weathers is about 28, with sandy brown hair and light blue eyes. If Hitler were alive today, he'd put Carl on one of his posters. Carl is a bit of a know-it-all, but fairly bright. You've never quite been sure what he does for a living. Bill arrives from the west. With a large sigh, Carl sits down on the bench. > You ask Carl about Bill Carl says, "Hmm, can't tell you too much about that!" Bill wanders over to the drink tray and picks up the whiskey bottle. From somewhere around the bar, he scrounges up a slightly-clean glass. With a deft flick of his wrist, he pours himself a shot of the whiskey and replaces the bottle. "I've always, er, liked whiskey," he comments. Ashleigh arrives from the west. > You look at Bill Bill Leveritt has been Thom's partner in their architectural firm for as long as you've known Thom. Bill's thatch of thinning gray hair and round glasses make him look older than his forty-two years. He tries to dress flamboyantly but often fails, as demonstrated today by his long-sleeved blue oxford shirt. He's extremely good at what he does, but he is very unassuming; Thom is the talker of the firm. In one hand he is holding one of his ubiquitous glasses of whiskey. Ashleigh sits down next to Carl and whispers something to him. He grins slightly in response. > You examine Ashleigh Ashleigh Flannagin is a knockout, which is why Thom ever dated her in the first place. However, Thom always has to be right, and it didn't take long for Ash to tire of that and start dating Carl. She has shoulder-length copper hair and dark brown eyes. > You look at Carl Carl Weathers is about 28, with sandy brown hair and light blue eyes. If Hitler were alive today, he'd put Carl on one of his posters. Carl is a bit of a know-it-all, but fairly bright. You've never quite been sure what he does for a living. > You go west The flying bridge rises above you, its canopy rippling slightly in the wind. To the east, an open door flanked by windows leads into the forecastle. To the northeast you can see the foredeck; to the south are the aft sections of the boat. > You look at the canopy It arches over much of the flying bridge. > Go south You stand on the deck of the boat, just to port of the aft stateroom. Its roof curves across the boat, and a ladder leads to the roof and then to the flying bridge. Beside the ladder, windows open into the stateroom. To starboard is the rail, standing sentinel between you and the cerulean water. The boat runs beneath your feet from the north to the southeast. > About yourself You look remarkably like yourself. > You go to the south-east boat. A large access panel in the deck allows for any necessary engine maintenance. On the stern, a flagstaff juts skyward, the stern light perched atop it like a squat bird. The door leading down into the aft stateroom yawns widely. Small windows flank the door. Tied to a cleat on the port side is a line. To the northeast and northwest is the remainder of the boat. > You examine the line The line is tough, easily able to withstand the rigors of marine life. One end of it is tied to a cleat. The other end of it runs over the rail and into the water. It is taught, as if something heavy were tied to it. > You pull the line You tug on the line as hard as you can, but something is weighing it down. Glancing over the rail, you see a dark shape in the water. > You examine the shape It looks disturbingly person-like. In fact, it looks disturbingly Thom-like. > You pull the line You tug on the line as hard as you can, but Thom's...dead weight, for lack of a better term, is too much for you. Judging from the weight, it is too much for everyone else on board. > You look at the water It stretches all around you, rolling and glistening in the glare of the sun, churned up by the propellers. It is tantalizingly close yet out of reach. In the water, you can see a dim shape attached to the line tied to the cleat. Bill arrives from the northwest. > You tell Bill about thom You tell Bill about seeing Thom's body in the water. Bill, however, just waves you off absentmindedly. As he is walking past it, Bill absentmindedly tugs on the line. Something about it makes him stop. He looks over the rail and into the water. His eyes widen alarmingly, and he yells, "Oh, my God! Quick! Everyone to the cockpit deck! It's Thom!" Bill begins pulling on the line with all his strength. "Help me!" he says to you. > You tell Bill about thom You tell Bill about seeing Thom's body in the water. Bill, however, just waves you off absentmindedly. Carl arrives from the northwest. Ashleigh arrives from the northwest. > Wait Time passes... Carl grabs hold of the line and strains in concert with Bill. You slide in between them and put your back into the effort, but to no avail. After a few seconds, Carl stops, swearing. Bill says, "The four of us won't be able to drag Thom on board while we're, uh, moving." Ashleigh nods in agreement. "We've got to cut the engines." You find yourself wondering just who this "we" are--you surely don't want to monkey around with Thom's boat. Not that he's going to care now, but habits are hard to break. > You look at the panel The large access panel can be opened in order to repair or service the engines which power the boat. Right now the panel is closed. Carl finally convinces himself that he won't be able to drag Thom onboard. You would have been glad to explain it to him, but no doubt that would have taken one minute shy of eternity. He glances at the three of you. "C'mon," he says, "I need you three on the flying bridge. I'll explain up there, right?" > You open the panel Opened. Bill leaves to the northwest. Carl leaves to the northwest. Ashleigh leaves to the northwest. > You go to the northwest You stand on the deck of the boat, just to port of the aft stateroom. Its roof curves across the boat, and a ladder leads to the roof and then to the flying bridge. Beside the ladder, windows open into the stateroom. To starboard is the rail, standing sentinel between you and the cerulean water. The boat runs beneath your feet from the north to the southeast. Bill stands here, slouching his way from one part of the boat to another. Carl, hands in pockets, is standing here, obviously on his way to somewhere else. Ashleigh is briskly walking through here. Bill climbs up the ladder and is gone. Carl climbs up the ladder and is gone. Ashleigh climbs up the ladder and is gone. > Go upwards From up here, the skipper of the boat has an almost unobstructed view of the waters in any direction. The wind whispers around the canopy's poles and past you on its journey. Beyond the helm, through the windscreen, you can see the bow of the boat. Further away is land, quite some distance away to the northeast. A chair sits in front of the helm. Towards the stern, a ladder leads down. Bill slumps here quietly. Carl is looking at the helm, thinking. Ashleigh is standing here, obviously a bit disturbed. Bill says, "Um, ok, Carl, what now?" Carl looks at the controls. "I'd best man the anchor." He looks at you, then at Bill. Finally, "Bill, I want you to go to the cockpit deck and take care of the line Thom's attached to. I want you," he turns to Ashleigh, "to relay my instructions to Bill, and I want you," he turns to you, "to throttle back when I say so. Look over the helm." He makes a few adjustments to the helm, then nods to himself. > You examine the helm The helm is amazingly complex, with gagues for RPMs, temperature, amperage...the mind boggles. On the right side of the helm are two levers: the throttle handle and the clutch handle. The throttle is taller than and to the right of the clutch handle. In the middle of the helm is a large wooden wheel. Bill climbs down the ladder and is gone. Carl climbs down the ladder and is gone. > You look at the throttle The throttle handle controls the boat's speed. When pushed all the way forward, the engines run full out. When pulled back, the engines almost idle. Right now it is set to very slow. > You examine the clutch The clutch handle controls the direction the boat moves, either forward or reverse. It can be pushed forward or pulled back. Right now it is set to forward. > You examine the wheel Attached to the helm, the wheel controls the ship's rudders. It resembles a stereotypical ship wheel, with large wooden handles all around its circumference. From below, Carl yells at you, "Pull the throttle back to idle." > You pull the throttle You pull the throttle back to idling speed. You hear the engines slow down.

[Themes: Mystery, boat, ocean, mystery] > You look at your surroundings From up here, the skipper of the boat has an almost unobstructed view of the waters in any direction. The wind whispers around the canopy's poles and past you on its journey. Beyond the helm, through the windscreen, you can see the bow of the boat. Further away is land, quite some distance away to the northeast. A chair sits in front of the helm. Towards the stern, a ladder leads down. Ashleigh is standing here, obviously a bit disturbed. > You ask Ashleigh about Thom Ashleigh laughs, a deep throaty sound. "Sometimes I wonder how I ever dated him." > You examine Ashleigh Ashleigh Flannagin is a knockout, which is why Thom ever dated her in the first place. However, Thom always has to be right, and it didn't take long for Ash to tire of that and start dating Carl. She has shoulder-length copper hair and dark brown eyes. > Turn wheel Turn it left or right? > Turn wheel right You spin the wheel to the right. The bow begins to swing to starboard. Carl yells, "Ok, reverse the engines!" > You pull the clutch You pull the clutch back. You hear the engines drop into neutral. > You pull the clutch You pull the clutch back. You hear the engines begin to turn in reverse.

[Themes: Mystery, boat, ocean, mystery] > You look at your surroundings From up here, the skipper of the boat has an almost unobstructed view of the waters in any direction. The wind whispers around the canopy's poles and past you on its journey. Beyond the helm, through the windscreen, you can see the bow of the boat. Further away is land, quite some distance away to the northeast. A chair sits in front of the helm. Towards the stern, a ladder leads down. Ashleigh is standing here, obviously a bit disturbed. > You look at the chair The blue chair makes piloting the boat much more comfortable. > You sit on the chair Okay, you're now sitting on the chair. Carl shouts up at you, "Push the throttle to one-quarter." > You continue You push the throttle forward to one-quarter speed. You hear the engines rev up to a higher pitch.

[Themes: Mystery, mystery] > You look around Flying Bridge, in the chair From up here, the skipper of the boat has an almost unobstructed view of the waters in any direction. The wind whispers around the canopy's poles and past you on its journey. Beyond the helm, through the windscreen, you can see the bow of the boat. Further away is land, quite some distance away to the northeast. A chair sits in front of the helm. Towards the stern, a ladder leads down. Ashleigh is standing here, obviously a bit disturbed. > You wait for a while Time passes... > You stand Okay, you're no longer in the chair. Carl yells, "Ok, I need you to shut off the...oh, screw it. Ash, kill the engines! And tell Bill to try pulling Thom in now." Ashleigh moves to the helm, leaving you to yell Carl's instructions to Bill. "Oh, er, right!" he yells back. > You go northeast From where you are, only a thin rail stands between you and the water to starboard. A roof, much more substantial than the rail and belonging to the aft stateroom, lies to port, stretching from here to the port side of the boat. Small windows gape in the stateroom's side. Two-thirds of the boat lie to the north, while the other one-third of the boat is to the southwest. > Go north Above you and to port rises the flying bridge, casting a cold shadow across you. Also to port are the curtained windows which afford you a glimpse into the forecastle. At your feet lies a closed compartment. The boat continues to the northwest and south. > You examine the compartment The compartment is about three meters long by half a meter wide and runs the length of the boat. The lid of the compartment normally doubles as the deck. Built in the lid is a small keyhole. The compartment is closed and locked. > You look at the hole The hole in the deck opens into the chain locker, where the anchor chain is stored. The anchor chain runs out of it, over the rail, and plunges into the sea. > You open the locker Your hand is too small to fit through the hole. > You examine the screwdriver Thom has really put this tool through its paces. Its tip is bent, as if he used it for non-standard purposes. > You look at the windows They look into the forecastle. > You examine the chain The anchor chain, along with the anchor, is used to attach the boat to the bottom of the sea. It runs out of the hole in the deck, over the rail, and into the sea. > You go to the southwest The flying bridge rises above you, its canopy rippling slightly in the wind. To the east, an open door flanked by windows leads into the forecastle. To the northeast you can see the foredeck; to the south are the aft sections of the boat. > You go to the east The forecastle of the boat is surprisingly comfortable despite its small size. The helm controls, including the wheel, are mounted on the fore wall, next to a chest-of-drawers which sports a lamp. Across from the chest and beside the west entrance is the galley; between the galley and the helm is a companionway to the fore stateroom. Also on the port wall, aft of the entrance, is a small bar. Across from it is a dinette bench. Windows are at each of the cardinal directions. The west entranceway is open, as is the companionway to the north. Sitting on the small bar is a drink tray. Ashleigh is here, standing pensively. > You look at the lamp A quick appraisal of the lamp bring the words "bulbous," "green," and "hideous" to mind for no apparent reason. The red plaid lampshade does little to mute its appearance. It has been attached to a square base about three centimeters thick, in case the boat pitches violently. > You examine the chest The chest-of-drawers is a nice piece of furniture despite the many water stains on its surface. Three drawers run from the bottom of the chest to the top. A lamp perches on top of the chest like a vulture. > You close it Closed. > You close it Opened. There's nothing in the middle drawer. Closed. > You close it Opened. There's nothing in the bottom drawer. Closed. > You get the lamp After fooling with it for a few seconds, you decide that taking the lamp is a lost cause. > You examine the tray The wooden drink tray has held many, many drinks on its surface and is discolored with many, many drink stains. Right now it holds a whiskey bottle, a scotch bottle, a wine bottle, and a bottle of beer. One edge is chipped slightly. > You examine the whiskey bottle The label claims that the whiskey is a good brand. Knowing Thom, the label bears little relationship to what's inside. The bottle contains quite a bit of whiskey. > You look at the scotch The scotch appears to be passable. Unfortunately, you don't care much for scotch. > You look at the wine It is slightly yellowish. > You look at beer It's Stella, an imported beer. > You look at the wine bottle The bottle's label proclaims it to be the proud product of Ernest & Julio Gallo's vinyards. The bottle contains some white wine. > You examine the beer bottle It is some imported beer named Stella. The bottle contains a little beer. > You examine the scotch bottle Light glints off the glass bottle, sparkling in your eyes. Too bad you don't like scotch; this looks to be good. The bottle contains some scotch. > You look at the galley It is a marvel of compact engineering, managing to fit an electric stove, an oven, a sink, and a refrigerator in a tiny space. > You open the fridge Opened. > You close it Closed. > You look at stove The stove has four burners, just enough for most marine cooking. However, for this trip the burners have been disconnected. Thom always was paranoid. > You look at the oven Close inspection shows you that the oven is without power, to prevent accidents. It is closed. > You look at the sink It is a square metal sink, about fourty centimeters by thirty centimeters. It has one handle. > You examine the handle Which handle do you mean, the throttle, the clutch, or the sink handle? > You look at the sink handle It is one of those single handles which control both cold and hot water. Right now it is off.

[Themes: Mystery, sea, mystery] > Go downward Compact yet liveable, the fore stateroom has two v-berths that meet near the nose of the ship. On the port wall is an open hanging locker, and across from it is the door to the forward head, standing open. A small ladder to the south leads up to a door. The hanging locker seems to contain a safe. > You open the panel with the screwdriver You work the screwdriver under the panel and lean on it forcefully. The panel groans open. > You look in safe It's closed. > You examine safe Squat, grey, metal. It obviously requires a key to unlock it. Part of the top of the safe is scarred with deep gouges which outline an open panel. > Unlock safe What do you want to unlock it with? > You get panel %You'll% need more than your bare fingers to remove the panel. > You examine the panel Peering in the panel only deepens the mystery of the safe. You can clearly see mechanical workings of some sort, and deep inside a battery. An electrically-opened safe? Two contacts jut up from the safe's innards. > You open radio Opening the portable radio reveals a nine-volt battery. > You take the battery Taken. > You put the battery in the panel Done. > You examine the contacts The electrical contacts stick up from the workings of the safe. > You look at what you're carrying with you You have a pill bottle, a portable radio, a pair of wires, a screwdriver, and a nine-volt battery. The pill bottle seems to contain five little pills. > You examine the safe battery No doubt used to power the workings of the safe. > You examine the battery Which battery do you mean, the nine-volt battery, or the safe battery? > You connect the contacts What do you want to attach it to? > You pry the panel with the screwdriver The panel is already open. > You examine safe Squat, grey, metal. It obviously requires a key to unlock it. Part of the top of the safe is scarred with deep gouges which outline an open panel. You are rudely interrupted by the explosion of the *Bellerophon*. As you are flung into the air, you find yourself futilely wondering who caused the explosion. >> You have died << You may restore a saved game, start over, quit, or undo the current command. > You examine the berth Which berth do you mean, the left v-berth, or the right v-berth? > You go south Almost two meters high, the hanging locker is big, especially when you consider the size of everything else aboard the *Bellerophon*. It was built so clothes could hang freely inside of it. The locker is closed. The forecastle of the boat is surprisingly comfortable despite its small size. The helm controls, including the wheel, are mounted on the fore wall, next to a chest-of-drawers which sports a lamp. Across from the chest and beside the west entrance is the galley; between the galley and the helm is a companionway to the fore stateroom. Also on the port wall, aft of the entrance, is a small bar. Across from it is a dinette bench. Windows are at each of the cardinal directions. The west entranceway is open, as is the companionway to the north. Sitting on the small bar is a drink tray. > You examine the galley It is a marvel of compact engineering, managing to fit an electric stove, an oven, a sink, and a refrigerator in a tiny space. Carl arrives from the west. > You go to the north Compact yet liveable, the fore stateroom has two v-berths that meet near the nose of the ship. On the port wall is an open hanging locker, and across from it is the door to the forward head, standing open. A small ladder to the south leads up to a door. The hanging locker seems to contain a safe. > Go west The flying bridge rises above you, its canopy rippling slightly in the wind. To the east, an open door flanked by windows leads into the forecastle. To the northeast you can see the foredeck; to the south are the aft sections of the boat. Ashleigh is briskly walking through here. Ashleigh leaves to the east. > Go south You stand on the deck of the boat, just to port of the aft stateroom. Its roof curves across the boat, and a ladder leads to the roof and then to the flying bridge. Beside the ladder, windows open into the stateroom. To starboard is the rail, standing sentinel between you and the cerulean water. The boat runs beneath your feet from the north to the southeast. > You go to the south-east boat. A large access panel in the deck allows for any necessary engine maintenance. On the stern, a flagstaff juts skyward, the stern light perched atop it like a squat bird. The door leading down into the aft stateroom yawns widely. Small windows flank the door. Tied to a cleat on the port side is a line. To the northeast and northwest is the remainder of the boat. > You go northeast From where you are, only a thin rail stands between you and the water to starboard. A roof, much more substantial than the rail and belonging to the aft stateroom, lies to port, stretching from here to the port side of the boat. Small windows gape in the stateroom's side. Two-thirds of the boat lie to the north, while the other one-third of the boat is to the southwest. > You look at the windows Through them, you can see the aft stateroom. > You look through the windows The aft stateroom is deserted.

[Themes: Mystery, ocean, boat, mystery] > Go downward Squeezed inside the aft stateroom are two single berths, one on either side of the stateroom, and a dresser. The north door to the aft head is open. A short ladder leads up to the open south door. > You examine the dresser The dresser takes up much of the room available in the aft stateroom. It is situated between the right berth and the ladder that leads up, and has three drawers. > You open the drawers top drawer: Opened. middle drawer: Opened. bottom drawer: Opening the bottom drawer reveals a portable radio. > You go to the north Against one wall of the aft head crouches a small toilet. On the port wall is a sink and mirror, while the starboard wall sports the unbelievable luxury of a full bathtub. Built into the floor is a panel, which is closed. The open door to the south leads to the aft stateroom. > You look at the tub A bathtub is not standard issue on most boats. In this case, it's one of the many ways Thom shows you how much money he has. It is plastic, to reduce its weight, and it has a single handle, much like the sink. Its stopper is missing. > You examine the tub A bathtub is not standard issue on most boats. In this case, it's one of the many ways Thom shows you how much money he has. It is plastic, to reduce its weight, and it has a single handle, much like the sink. Its stopper is missing. Water is running into the tub and out again. > You turn off the tub Okay, it's now turned off. From somewhere outside you hear Bill yell, "Oh, my God! Quick! Everyone to the cockpit deck! It's Thom!" > Time The time is now 10:37 a.m. > You open panel You swing open the panel, revealing the bilge pump housed beneath it. > Inventory You have a pill bottle, a portable radio, and a pair of wires. > Up You can't go that way. From somewhere outside you hear Carl calling for you. You have to strain to understand what he's saying, but it sounds like he wants you on the flying bridge. Now. > Up You can't go that way. Carl suddenly shows up. "Right, I need you on the flying deck. C'mon." He grabs you by the arm and begins dragging you. You have no real choice but to follow him. "What is it?" you ask him en route. "Thom. We've found him dead." From up here, the skipper of the boat has an almost unobstructed view of the waters in any direction. The wind whispers around the canopy's poles and past you on its journey. Beyond the helm, through the windscreen, you can see the bow of the boat. Further away is land, quite some distance away to the northeast. A chair sits in front of the helm. Towards the stern, a ladder leads down. Bill slumps here quietly. Carl is looking at the helm, thinking. Ashleigh is standing here, obviously a bit disturbed. Bill says, "Um, ok, Carl, what now?" Carl looks at the controls. "I'd best man the anchor." He looks at you, then at Bill. Finally, "Bill, I want you to go to the cockpit deck and take care of the line Thom's attached to. I want you," he turns to Ashleigh, "to relay my instructions to Bill, and I want you," he turns to you, "to throttle back when I say so. Look over the helm." He makes a few adjustments to the helm, then nods to himself. > You examine the canopy The large canopy arches overhead, its blue fabric blocking the sun's terrible glare. Bill climbs down the ladder and is gone. Carl climbs down the ladder and is gone.

> Go downwards Ashleigh moves in front of you, blocking you. "What the hell are you doing? You have to run the helm! Stay here!" > You wait awhile Time passes... From below, Carl yells at you, "Pull the throttle back to idle." > You pull the throttle You pull the throttle back to idling speed. You hear the engines slow down. > You wait a while Time passes... Carl yells, "Ok, reverse the engines!" > You examine the helm The helm is amazingly complex, with gagues for RPMs, temperature, amperage...the mind boggles. On the right side of the helm are two levers: the throttle handle and the clutch handle. The throttle is taller than and to the right of the clutch handle. In the middle of the helm is a large wooden wheel. > Turn wheel left You give the wheel a quick tug to the left. The bow begins to swing to port. > Continue You give the wheel a quick tug to the left. The bow begins to swing to port. Muttering to herself, Ashleigh pulls the clutch back. You hear the engines reverse. > Turn wheel right You spin the wheel to the right. The stern begins to swing to starboard. Carl shouts up at you, "Push the throttle to one-quarter." > Turn wheel right You spin the wheel to the right. The stern begins to swing to starboard. > You ask Ashleigh about Ashleigh Ashleigh is no longer here. Carl yells, "Ok, I need you to shut off the...oh, screw it. Ash, kill the engines! And tell Bill to try pulling Thom in now." Ashleigh moves to the helm, leaving you to yell Carl's instructions to Bill. "Oh, er, right!" he yells back.

[Themes: Mystery, mystery] > Look around From up here, the skipper of the boat has an almost unobstructed view of the waters in any direction. The wind whispers around the canopy's poles and past you on its journey. Beyond the helm, through the windscreen, you can see the bow of the boat. Further away is land, quite some distance away to the northeast. A chair sits in front of the helm. Towards the stern, a ladder leads down. Ashleigh is standing here, obviously a bit disturbed. Ashleigh climbs down the ladder and is gone.

[Themes: Mystery, sea, mystery] > You go downward You stand on the deck of the boat, just to port of the aft stateroom. Its roof curves across the boat, and a ladder leads to the roof and then to the flying bridge. Beside the ladder, windows open into the stateroom. To starboard is the rail, standing sentinel between you and the cerulean water. The boat runs beneath your feet from the north to the southeast. Ashleigh is briskly walking through here. Carl arrives from the north. Ashleigh leaves to the southeast. > You go south You can't go that way. Carl leaves to the southeast. > You go to the south-east boat. A large access panel in the deck allows for any necessary engine maintenance. On the stern, a flagstaff juts skyward, the stern light perched atop it like a squat bird. The door leading down into the aft stateroom yawns widely. Small windows flank the door. Tied to a cleat on the port side is a line. To the northeast and northwest is the remainder of the boat. Lying on the deck is Thom's body. Bill slumps here quietly. Ashleigh stands almost motionless, constantly glancing at Thom's body. Carl stands here, hands in his pockets. Carl glances at poor Thom and shakes his head. "Poor bastard," he whispers. Bill glances nervously at everyone. "Uh, what now?" Ashleigh laughs sourly. "We sail back into port." You nod in agreement, then say, "Who'll pilot the boat?" After a few seconds of silence, Carl speaks up. "That would be me. I'll run back to the flying bridge." > You search the body As disgusting as it is, you riffle through Thom's pockets. Nothing. Carl leaves to the northwest. Ashleigh shakes her head. "Nothing to do but go back to the fo'cle and wait." > You look at the body No matter how often you hated Thom for one thing or another, you certainly didn't want to see him dead like this. His face is a strange purple color. Along one side of his head, just under his wet hair, is a nasty bruise, slowly darkening. One of his hands is clenched tight, tight enough to drive his fingernails into his palm. Looped complexly around his leg is a length of line. Bill leaves to the northwest. Ashleigh leaves to the northwest. > Go northwest You stand on the deck of the boat, just to port of the aft stateroom. Its roof curves across the boat, and a ladder leads to the roof and then to the flying bridge. Beside the ladder, windows open into the stateroom. To starboard is the rail, standing sentinel between you and the cerulean water. The boat runs beneath your feet from the north to the southeast. Bill stands here, slouching his way from one part of the boat to another. Ashleigh is briskly walking through here. Bill leaves to the north. Ashleigh leaves to the north. > You go north The flying bridge rises above you, its canopy rippling slightly in the wind. To the east, an open door flanked by windows leads into the forecastle. To the northeast you can see the foredeck; to the south are the aft sections of the boat. Bill stands here, slouching his way from one part of the boat to another. Ashleigh is briskly walking through here. Bill leaves to the east. Ashleigh leaves to the east. > Go east The forecastle of the boat is surprisingly comfortable despite its small size. The helm controls, including the wheel, are mounted on the fore wall, next to a chest-of-drawers which sports a lamp. Across from the chest and beside the west entrance is the galley; between the galley and the helm is a companionway to the fore stateroom. Also on the port wall, aft of the entrance, is a small bar. Across from it is a dinette bench. Windows are at each of the cardinal directions. The west entranceway is open, as is the companionway to the north. You see a purse here. Sitting on the small bar is a drink tray. Bill slumps here quietly. Ashleigh is here, standing casually. Bill collapses onto the dinette bench. Ashleigh paces back and forth worriedly, then stops self-consciously. She grimaces to herself. > You look in the purse It's closed. Ashleigh climbs down the ladder and is gone. > Open purse You open the bag, revealing the usual assortment of purse accoutrements...and a gun. Bill suddenly notices Ash's purse. "Oh," he says, "Ashleigh's purse." He picks it up, sits back down, changes his mind, starts down the ladder to the fore stateroom, changes his mind again, and collapses on the dinette bench once more. > You examine Bill Bill Leveritt has been Thom's partner in their architectural firm for as long as you've known Thom. Bill's thatch of thinning gray hair and round glasses make him look older than his forty-two years. He tries to dress flamboyantly but often fails, as demonstrated today by his long-sleeved blue oxford shirt. He's extremely good at what he does, but he is very unassuming; Thom is the talker of the firm. In one hand he is holding one of his ubiquitous glasses of whiskey. > You wait Time passes... Ashleigh arrives, climbing up the ladder. > You wait a while Time passes... Bill hands Ash's purse to her. "Here," he says, "you dropped this." Ashleigh turns an odd shade of red: you can't tell if she's embarassed, mad, or worried. "Thanks," she finally says. > You ask Ashleigh about the purse Ashleigh says, "I don't know much about that." Carl arrives from the west. > Wait Time passes... Ashleigh looks up at Carl, sensing that something's wrong. "What's up?" she asks Carl. He runs his hands distractedly through his curly hair. "Ok," he finally says. "Here's what we've got going on. Someone's sabotaged the engines, and I don't think I can fix them. I'll get on the radio and get someone here to help us. Until that happens, though, we're stuck." "Great!" Bill says. "Just great! We're stuck on Thom's rotten boat with Thom's rotten body and one of us killed him!" He downs his whiskey in one gulp as he jumps to his feet. > Wait Time passes... With a disgusted shake of his head, Carl moves to the radio and begins calling for help. Ashleigh, on the other hand, watches Bill for a few seconds before moving to him and slapping him for all she's worth. Bill stops completely: he has no idea how to react. "Listen here, you pompous ass," Ash hisses at him, "none of us are particularly happy right now. But you're not helping. Stop it." After a long few seconds of staring, Bill turns and pours himself another whiskey. > Wait Time passes... Bill leaves to the west. Carl turns from the radio. "Way to tell him," he says softly to Ashleigh, glancing at you as if to see if you agree. Ashleigh, however, grimaces. "I didn't mean to yell at him like that. It's just...I mean..." Her sentence trails off. Carl looks at her for almost half a minute, doubt showing on his face. Finally, "I think I'll go check the engines. Gives me something to do, anyway." > You wait Time passes... Carl leaves to the west. > Go southeast boat. A large access panel in the deck has been opened for access to the engines. On the stern, a flagstaff juts skyward, the stern light perched atop it like a squat bird. The door leading down into the aft stateroom yawns widely. Small windows flank the door. Tied to a cleat on the port side is a line. To the northeast and northwest is the remainder of the boat. Lying on the deck is Thom's body. Discarded on the deck, against one edge of the boat, is a bent screwdriver. Carl is peering in the engines, pondering possibilities. > You get the screwdriver Taken. Bill arrives, climbing up the ladder. > You look boat. A large access panel in the deck has been opened for access to the engines. On the stern, a flagstaff juts skyward, the stern light perched atop it like a squat bird. The door leading down into the aft stateroom yawns widely. Small windows flank the door. Tied to a cleat on the port side is a line. To the northeast and northwest is the remainder of the boat. Lying on the deck is Thom's body. Carl is peering in the engines, pondering possibilities. Bill slumps here quietly. Bill leaves to the northeast. As Bill walks away, Carl mutters to you, "What a prick."

[Themes: Mystery, ocean, boat, mystery] > Go downward Squeezed inside the aft stateroom are two single berths, one on either side of the stateroom, and a dresser. The north door to the aft head is open. A short ladder leads up to the open south door. > Up boat. A large access panel in the deck has been opened for access to the engines. On the stern, a flagstaff juts skyward, the stern light perched atop it like a squat bird. The door leading down into the aft stateroom yawns widely. Small windows flank the door. Tied to a cleat on the port side is a line. To the northeast and northwest is the remainder of the boat. Lying on the deck is Thom's body. Carl is peering in the engines, pondering possibilities. As you clear the aft stateroom, you see a flash of color over the rail. You can't quite tell, but it looks like a rag. > You examine rag You can't quite see the rag--it's hung on something about a meter down, just above the water. You're surprised it hasn't been washed away. > You go to the northwest You stand on the deck of the boat, just to port of the aft stateroom. Its roof curves across the boat, and a ladder leads to the roof and then to the flying bridge. Beside the ladder, windows open into the stateroom. To starboard is the rail, standing sentinel between you and the cerulean water. The boat runs beneath your feet from the north to the southeast. > You check what you're carrying You have a pill bottle, a portable radio, a pair of wires, and a screwdriver. > You tie the wires to nine-volt You attach the battery to the pair of wires with a few quick turns of each wire. > You tie the wires to the contacts You touch the wires to the contacts. Motors whir as the safe springs open, its regular locking mechanism bypassed. > GET KEY, NOTE, PICTURES, LETTERS small key: Taken. note: Taken. pictures: Taken. letters: Taken. > You examine the key Unremarkable, even as small metal keys go. > You examine the pictures The pictures are of Carl and some woman other than Ashleigh in very compromising positions. > You examine the letters The letters are from Carl to Thom. > You read the letters Reading them, you quickly figure out that Thom was blackmailing Carl. > Up The forecastle of the boat is surprisingly comfortable despite its small size. The helm controls, including the wheel, are mounted on the fore wall, next to a chest-of-drawers which sports a lamp. Across from the chest and beside the west entrance is the galley; between the galley and the helm is a companionway to the fore stateroom. Also on the port wall, aft of the entrance, is a small bar. Across from it is a dinette bench. Windows are at each of the cardinal directions. The west entranceway is open, as is the companionway to the north. Sitting on the small bar is a drink tray. Ashleigh is here, standing pensively. > You show the pictures to Bill Bill stares at the pictures in confusion. "Uh, so?" he says. > You show the letters to Bill Bill stares at the letters in confusion. "Uh, so?" he says. > Go southeast Above you and to port rises the flying bridge, casting a cold shadow across you. Also to port are the curtained windows which afford you a glimpse into the forecastle. At your feet lies a closed compartment. The boat continues to the northwest and south. > You unlock compartment with the key Unlocked. > You open it Opening the compartment reveals a long pole. > You look at the pole The wooden pole is about two meters long and terminates in a curved hook. No doubt Thom used it for retrieving things he dropped in the water. > You get rag with the pole It takes you a few seconds to snag the rag, but once you have it, dragging it on deck is almost anticlimactic. Now that it's on deck, you can tell that the rag is actually a shirt. > You examine shirt If this shirt doesn't belong to Bill, it's certainly a dead ringer for the one he had on earlier. The right sleeve is torn and slightly blood-stained. > You examine the blood The stain looks a lot like blood. > You look boat. A large access panel in the deck has been opened for access to the engines. On the stern, a flagstaff juts skyward, the stern light perched atop it like a squat bird. The door leading down into the aft stateroom yawns widely. Small windows flank the door. Tied to a cleat on the port side is a line. To the northeast and northwest is the remainder of the boat. Lying on the deck is Thom's body. Carl is peering in the engines, pondering possibilities. > You show the shirt to Carl Carl waves you away. "I don't need to see that," he tells you. > You tell Carl about the shirt "Yeah, ok, ok," Carl says. > You look at the stern light The stern light stares balefully back at you, the sun reflecting off of its clear plastic case. > Swim What do you want to swim in? > You show the picture to Carl Carl turns away, then back to you. "Ok, yes, Thom had pictures taken of me and...Carol." He runs one hand through his hair. "It was a fling a month ago or so. Thom's been blackmailing me since." He glares at you. "But I wasn't the one who killed him! I swear!" > You show the pictures to Carl "What are you trying to do, torture me?" he hisses at you. > You examine the body No matter how often you hated Thom for one thing or another, you certainly didn't want to see him dead like this. His face is a strange purple color. Along one side of his head, just under his now-dry hair, is a nasty bruise, slowly darkening. One of his hands is clenched tight, tight enough to drive his fingernails into his palm. Looped complexly around his leg is a length of line. > You examine the line The line is tough, easily able to withstand the rigors of marine life. One end of it is tied to a cleat. The other end is looped around one of Thom's ankles. > You examine the cleat The cleat is a t-shaped piece of metal with two shafts attached to the boat, and is used in lashing lines. In fact, a line is tied to it now. An odd reddish stain mars its surface. > You go north Above you and to port rises the flying bridge, casting a cold shadow across you. Also to port are the curtained windows which afford you a glimpse into the forecastle. At your feet lies an open compartment. The boat continues to the northwest and south. > You ask Bill about shirt "Oh, um, I had to change. The other shirt was chafing me." > You look at panel The large access panel can be opened in order to repair or service the engines which power the boat. Right now the panel is open, giving a view of the engines. > Go upward From up here, the skipper of the boat has an almost unobstructed view of the waters in any direction. The wind whispers around the canopy's poles and past you on its journey. Beyond the helm, through the windscreen, you can see the bow of the boat. Further away is land, quite some distance away to the northeast. A chair sits in front of the helm. Towards the stern, a ladder leads down. > You look through the windscreen You can see the bow of the boat and Bill standing on the bow. Further out is land. > You go to the east The forward head sports a small toilet, a sink, and a miniscule shower. In the floor is a small drain; above the sink, a mirror and medicine cabinet. An open door leads west. > You look at the sink The sink is a semi-circle with a single handle attached to it. > You examine the cabinet It is bolted to the wall just above the sink. It is made of strong plastic, and is closed. > You examine shower The shower is almost more for decoration than utility. It takes up one corner of the head. > You open the pill bottle Opening the pill bottle reveals five little pills. You are rudely interrupted by the explosion of the *Bellerophon*. As you are flung into the air, you find yourself futilely wondering who caused the explosion. >> You have died << You may restore a saved game, start over, quit, or undo the current command. > You go to the west (Opening the door) Forward Stateroom Compact yet liveable, the fore stateroom has two v-berths that meet near the nose of the ship. On the port wall is a hanging locker, and across from it is the door to the forward head, standing open. A small ladder to the south leads up to a door. Sitting on the left v-berth is a pill bottle. > Go west The flying bridge rises above you, its canopy rippling slightly in the wind. To the east, an open door flanked by windows leads into the forecastle. To the northeast you can see the foredeck; to the south are the aft sections of the boat. Carl, hands in pockets, is standing here, obviously on his way to somewhere else. Bill arrives from the south. Carl leaves to the east. > You examine Bill Bill Leveritt has been Thom's partner in their architectural firm for as long as you've known Thom. Bill's thatch of thinning gray hair and round glasses make him look older than his forty-two years. He tries to dress flamboyantly but often fails, as demonstrated today by his long-sleeved blue oxford shirt. He's extremely good at what he does, but he is very unassuming; Thom is the talker of the firm. Bill leaves to the east. Ashleigh arrives from the south. > You go to the east The forecastle of the boat is surprisingly comfortable despite its small size. The helm controls, including the wheel, are mounted on the fore wall, next to a chest-of-drawers which sports a lamp. Across from the chest and beside the west entrance is the galley; between the galley and the helm is a companionway to the fore stateroom. Also on the port wall, aft of the entrance, is a small bar. Across from it is a dinette bench. Windows are at each of the cardinal directions. The west entranceway is open, as is the companionway to the north. Sitting on the small bar is a drink tray. Bill slumps here quietly. Carl is seated on the dinette bench. Bill wanders over to the drink tray and picks up the whiskey bottle. From somewhere around the bar, he scrounges up a slightly-clean glass. With a deft flick of his wrist, he pours himself a shot of the whiskey and replaces the bottle. "I've always, er, liked whiskey," he comments. Ashleigh arrives from the west. > You ask Bill about the whiskey "I, uh, don't really know anything about it," Bill says. Ashleigh sits down next to Carl and whispers something to him. He grins slightly in response. > Inventory You have a pill bottle. The pill bottle seems to contain five little pills. > You ask Bill about thom Bill says, "I, uh, I'm really not sure how much longer I can take his attitude. He's been really, ah, annoying lately." > You ask Carl about Thom Carl grimaces. "I dunno," he says, "he just really pisses me off some times." > You open the bottom Opening the bottom drawer reveals a portable radio. > Go south Squeezed inside the aft stateroom are two single berths, one on either side of the stateroom, and a dresser. The north door to the aft head is open. A short ladder leads up to the open south door. From somewhere outside you hear Bill yell, "Oh, my God! Quick! Everyone to the cockpit deck! It's Thom!" > You go up boat. A large access panel in the deck allows for any necessary engine maintenance. On the stern, a flagstaff juts skyward, the stern light perched atop it like a squat bird. The door leading down into the aft stateroom yawns widely. Small windows flank the door. Tied to a cleat on the port side is a line. To the northeast and northwest is the remainder of the boat. Bill is tugging with all his might on the line. > You pull the line You tug on the line as hard as you can, but something is weighing it down. Glancing over the rail, you see a dark shape in the water. Carl arrives from the northwest. Ashleigh arrives from the northwest. > You open the radio Opening the portable radio reveals a nine-volt battery. Carl grabs hold of the line and strains in concert with Bill. You slide in between them and put your back into the effort, but to no avail. After a few seconds, Carl stops, swearing. Bill says, "The four of us won't be able to drag Thom on board while we're, uh, moving." Ashleigh nods in agreement. "We've got to cut the engines." You find yourself wondering just who this "we" are--you surely don't want to monkey around with Thom's boat. Not that he's going to care now, but habits are hard to break. > You take nine-volt Taken. Carl finally convinces himself that he won't be able to drag Thom onboard. You would have been glad to explain it to him, but no doubt that would have taken one minute shy of eternity. He glances at the three of you. "C'mon," he says, "I need you three on the flying bridge. I'll explain up there, right?" > Go northwest You stand on the deck of the boat, just to port of the aft stateroom. Its roof curves across the boat, and a ladder leads to the roof and then to the flying bridge. Beside the ladder, windows open into the stateroom. To starboard is the rail, standing sentinel between you and the cerulean water. The boat runs beneath your feet from the north to the southeast. Bill arrives from the southeast. Carl arrives from the southeast. Ashleigh arrives from the southeast. > Go upward From up here, the skipper of the boat has an almost unobstructed view of the waters in any direction. The wind whispers around the canopy's poles and past you on its journey. Beyond the helm, through the windscreen, you can see the bow of the boat. Further away is land, quite some distance away to the northeast. A chair sits in front of the helm. Towards the stern, a ladder leads down. Bill arrives, climbing up the ladder. Carl arrives, climbing up the ladder. Ashleigh arrives, climbing up the ladder. > You tie the wires to nine-volt You attach the battery to the pair of wires with a few quick turns of each wire. Bill says, "Um, ok, Carl, what now?" Carl looks at the controls. "I'd best man the anchor." He looks at you, then at Bill. Finally, "Bill, I want you to go to the cockpit deck and take care of the line Thom's attached to. I want you," he turns to Ashleigh, "to relay my instructions to Bill, and I want you," he turns to you, "to throttle back when I say so. Look over the helm." He makes a few adjustments to the helm, then nods to himself. > You ask Carl about the helm Carl says, "Hmm, can't tell you too much about that!" Bill climbs down the ladder and is gone. Carl climbs down the ladder and is gone. > You look through windscreen You can see the bow of the boat. Further out is land. > Continue You can see the bow of the boat and Carl standing on the bow. Further out is land. From below, Carl yells at you, "Pull the throttle back to idle." > You look through the windscreen You can see the bow of the boat and Carl standing on the bow. Further out is land. > You continue You can see the bow of the boat and Carl standing on the bow. Further out is land. Carl yells, "Ok, reverse the engines!" > You pull the clutch You pull the clutch back. You hear the engines drop into neutral. > You pull the clutch You pull the clutch back. You hear the engines begin to turn in reverse. > Keep going You can see the bow of the boat and Carl standing on the bow. Further out is land. Carl shouts up at you, "Push the throttle to one-quarter." > You continue You push the throttle forward to one-quarter speed. You hear the engines rev up to a higher pitch. > Continue You can see the bow of the boat and Carl standing on the bow. Further out is land. Carl yells, "Ok, I need you to shut off the...oh, screw it. Ash, kill the engines! And tell Bill to try pulling Thom in now." Ashleigh moves to the helm, leaving you to yell Carl's instructions to Bill. "Oh, er, right!" he yells back. > Continue You can see the bow of the boat and Carl standing on the bow. Further out is land. Ashleigh climbs down the ladder and is gone.

[Themes: Mystery, sea, mystery] > You go downward You stand on the deck of the boat, just to port of the aft stateroom. Its roof curves across the boat, and a ladder leads to the roof and then to the flying bridge. Beside the ladder, windows open into the stateroom. To starboard is the rail, standing sentinel between you and the cerulean water. The boat runs beneath your feet from the north to the southeast. Ashleigh is briskly walking through here. Carl arrives from the north. Ashleigh leaves to the southeast. > Go southeast boat. A large access panel in the deck allows for any necessary engine maintenance. On the stern, a flagstaff juts skyward, the stern light perched atop it like a squat bird. The door leading down into the aft stateroom yawns widely. Small windows flank the door. Tied to a cleat on the port side is a line. To the northeast and northwest is the remainder of the boat. Lying on the deck is Thom's body. Bill slumps here quietly. Ashleigh stands almost motionless, constantly glancing at Thom's body. Carl arrives from the northwest. > You examine Bill Bill Leveritt has been Thom's partner in their architectural firm for as long as you've known Thom. Bill's thatch of thinning gray hair and round glasses make him look older than his forty-two years. He tries to dress flamboyantly but often fails, as demonstrated today by his long-sleeved blue oxford shirt. He's extremely good at what he does, but he is very unassuming; Thom is the talker of the firm. In one hand he is holding one of his ubiquitous glasses of whiskey. Carl glances at poor Thom and shakes his head. "Poor bastard," he whispers. Bill glances nervously at everyone. "Uh, what now?" Ashleigh laughs sourly. "We sail back into port." You nod in agreement, then say, "Who'll pilot the boat?" After a few seconds of silence, Carl speaks up. "That would be me. I'll run back to the flying bridge." > You look at the body No matter how often you hated Thom for one thing or another, you certainly didn't want to see him dead like this. His face is a strange purple color. Along one side of his head, just under his wet hair, is a nasty bruise, slowly darkening. One of his hands is clenched tight, tight enough to drive his fingernails into his palm. Looped complexly around his leg is a length of line. Carl leaves to the northwest. Ashleigh shakes her head. "Nothing to do but go back to the fo'cle and wait." > You go northwest You stand on the deck of the boat, just to port of the aft stateroom. Its roof curves across the boat, and a ladder leads to the roof and then to the flying bridge. Beside the ladder, windows open into the stateroom. To starboard is the rail, standing sentinel between you and the cerulean water. The boat runs beneath your feet from the north to the southeast. Carl, hands in pockets, is standing here, obviously on his way to somewhere else. Bill arrives from the southeast. Carl climbs up the ladder and is gone. Ashleigh arrives from the southeast. > Go north The flying bridge rises above you, its canopy rippling slightly in the wind. To the east, an open door flanked by windows leads into the forecastle. To the northeast you can see the foredeck; to the south are the aft sections of the boat. Bill arrives from the south. Ashleigh arrives from the south. > Go east The forecastle of the boat is surprisingly comfortable despite its small size. The helm controls, including the wheel, are mounted on the fore wall, next to a chest-of-drawers which sports a lamp. Across from the chest and beside the west entrance is the galley; between the galley and the helm is a companionway to the fore stateroom. Also on the port wall, aft of the entrance, is a small bar. Across from it is a dinette bench. Windows are at each of the cardinal directions. The west entranceway is open, as is the companionway to the north. You see a purse here. Sitting on the small bar is a drink tray. Bill arrives from the west. Ashleigh arrives from the west. > You examine the purse The closed purse is made of soft leather. Tasteful, but then, what other kind would Ashleigh carry? Bill collapses onto the dinette bench. Ashleigh paces back and forth worriedly, then stops self-consciously. She grimaces to herself. > Open purse You open the bag, revealing the usual assortment of purse accoutrements...and a gun. Ashleigh climbs down the ladder and is gone. > You take the gun Are you crazy?!? You can't be seen toting that thing around, or everyone will think YOU killed Thom. Bill suddenly notices Ash's purse. "Oh," he says, "Ashleigh's purse." He picks it up, sits back down, changes his mind, starts down the ladder to the fore stateroom, changes his mind again, and collapses on the dinette bench once more. > You take the purse Didn't your mother ever teach you about stealing? That's Asheligh's, not yours. Bill suddenly notices Ash's purse. "Oh," he says, "Ashleigh's purse." He picks it up, sits back down, changes his mind, starts down the ladder to the fore stateroom, changes his mind again, and collapses on the dinette bench once more. > You examine the accoutrements It's the usual assortment of things that any given woman would carry in her purse. The stand-out of the group, however, is the gun. Bill suddenly notices Ash's purse. "Oh," he says, "Ashleigh's purse." He picks it up, sits back down, changes his mind, starts down the ladder to the fore stateroom, changes his mind again, and collapses on the dinette bench once more.

[Themes: Mystery, mystery, boat] > Go down Compact yet liveable, the fore stateroom has two v-berths that meet near the nose of the ship. On the port wall is an open hanging locker, and across from it is the door to the forward head, shut tightly. A small ladder to the south leads up to a door. The hanging locker seems to contain a safe. > Go east You'll have to open the east door first. You hear the door to the head unlock, then see it swing open. Ashleigh arrives from the east. > You go up The forecastle of the boat is surprisingly comfortable despite its small size. The helm controls, including the wheel, are mounted on the fore wall, next to a chest-of-drawers which sports a lamp. Across from the chest and beside the west entrance is the galley; between the galley and the helm is a companionway to the fore stateroom. Also on the port wall, aft of the entrance, is a small bar. Across from it is a dinette bench. Windows are at each of the cardinal directions. The west entranceway is open, as is the companionway to the north. Sitting on the small bar is a drink tray. Bill is slumped in the dinette bench. Ashleigh arrives, climbing up the ladder. > You examine Bill Bill Leveritt has been Thom's partner in their architectural firm for as long as you've known Thom. Bill's thatch of thinning gray hair and round glasses make him look older than his forty-two years. He tries to dress flamboyantly but often fails, as demonstrated today by his long-sleeved blue oxford shirt. He's extremely good at what he does, but he is very unassuming; Thom is the talker of the firm. In one hand he is holding one of his ubiquitous glasses of whiskey. Carl arrives from the west. Bill hands Ash's purse to her. "Here," he says, "you dropped this." Ashleigh turns an odd shade of red: you can't tell if she's embarassed, mad, or worried. "Thanks," she finally says. > You ask Bill about the purse "I, uh, don't really know anything about it," Bill says. Ashleigh looks up at Carl, sensing that something's wrong. "What's up?" she asks Carl. He runs his hands distractedly through his curly hair. "Ok," he finally says. "Here's what we've got going on. Someone's sabotaged the engines, and I don't think I can fix them. I'll get on the radio and get someone here to help us. Until that happens, though, we're stuck." "Great!" Bill says. "Just great! We're stuck on Thom's rotten boat with Thom's rotten body and one of us killed him!" He downs his whiskey in one gulp as he jumps to his feet. > You ask Bill about the belts Which bill do you mean, Bill, or Bill? > You ask Ash about the belts Ashleigh says, "I don't know much about that." With a disgusted shake of his head, Carl moves to the radio and begins calling for help. Ashleigh, on the other hand, watches Bill for a few seconds before moving to him and slapping him for all she's worth. Bill stops completely: he has no idea how to react. "Listen here, you pompous ass," Ash hisses at him, "none of us are particularly happy right now. But you're not helping. Stop it." After a long few seconds of staring, Bill turns and pours himself another whiskey. > You put the pill in whiskey You can't put anything into the whiskey. With a disgusted shake of his head, Carl moves to the radio and begins calling for help. Ashleigh, on the other hand, watches Bill for a few seconds before moving to him and slapping him for all she's worth. Bill stops completely: he has no idea how to react. "Listen here, you pompous ass," Ash hisses at him, "none of us are particularly happy right now. But you're not helping. Stop it." After a long few seconds of staring, Bill turns and pours himself another whiskey. > You put the pill in the whiskey bottle You drop one of the pills into the whiskey bottle. It quickly dissolves, leaving behind virtually no trace. With a disgusted shake of his head, Carl moves to the radio and begins calling for help. Ashleigh, on the other hand, watches Bill for a few seconds before moving to him and slapping him for all she's worth. Bill stops completely: he has no idea how to react. "Listen here, you pompous ass," Ash hisses at him, "none of us are particularly happy right now. But you're not helping. Stop it." After a long few seconds of staring, Bill turns and pours himself another whiskey. > You put the pill in the whiskey bottle You drop one of the pills into the whiskey bottle. It quickly dissolves, leaving behind virtually no trace. Bill leaves to the west. Carl turns from the radio. "Way to tell him," he says softly to Ashleigh, glancing at you as if to see if you agree. Ashleigh, however, grimaces. "I didn't mean to yell at him like that. It's just...I mean..." Her sentence trails off. Carl looks at her for almost half a minute, doubt showing on his face. Finally, "I think I'll go check the engines. Gives me something to do, anyway." > You look through the south window You see no one through the window. Carl leaves to the west. > You look through the south window Through the window, you see Bill. > You look through the south window Through the window, you see Bill and Carl. > Keep going Through the window, you see Carl and Bill. > Continue Through the window, you see Carl. > You take the purse Didn't your mother ever teach you about stealing? That's Asheligh's, not yours. Ashleigh climbs down the ladder and is gone. > You examine the purse The closed purse is made of soft leather. Tasteful, but then, what other kind would Ashleigh carry? Bill suddenly notices Ash's purse. "Oh," he says, "Ashleigh's purse." He picks it up, sits back down, changes his mind, starts down the ladder to the fore stateroom, changes his mind again, and collapses on the dinette bench once more. > You look at the purse The closed purse is made of soft leather. Tasteful, but then, what other kind would Ashleigh carry? Ashleigh climbs down the ladder and is gone. > You take the purse Didn't your mother ever teach you about stealing? That's Asheligh's, not yours. Bill suddenly notices Ash's purse. "Oh," he says, "Ashleigh's purse." He picks it up, sits back down, changes his mind, starts down the ladder to the fore stateroom, changes his mind again, and collapses on the dinette bench once more. > You sit on the purse I don't know how to sit on the purse. Bill suddenly notices Ash's purse. "Oh," he says, "Ashleigh's purse." He picks it up, sits back down, changes his mind, starts down the ladder to the fore stateroom, changes his mind again, and collapses on the dinette bench once more. > You ask Ash about the purse Ashleigh says, "I don't know much about that." Ashleigh climbs down the ladder and is gone.

[Themes: Mystery, boat] > Go down Compact yet liveable, the fore stateroom has two v-berths that meet near the nose of the ship. On the port wall is an open hanging locker, and across from it is the door to the forward head, standing open. A small ladder to the south leads up to a door. The hanging locker seems to contain a safe. Ashleigh is briskly walking through here. Ashleigh leaves to the east. > You go east The forward head sports a small toilet, a sink, and a miniscule shower. In the floor is a small drain; above the sink, a mirror and medicine cabinet. An open door leads west. Ashleigh is here, standing casually. Ashleigh says, "I really need to use the bathroom, if you don't mind..." Bemused, you leave the head. Compact yet liveable, the fore stateroom has two v-berths that meet near the nose of the ship. On the port wall is an open hanging locker, and across from it is the door to the forward head, standing open. A small ladder to the south leads up to a door. The hanging locker seems to contain a safe. The east door swings close and you hear it lock. > You examine safe Squat, grey, metal. It obviously requires a key to unlock it. Part of the top of the safe is scarred with deep gouges. > You examine the gouges On closer inspection, you can see that the gouges outline a panel. You hear the door to the head unlock, then see it swing open. Ashleigh arrives from the east. > You ask Ashleigh about the gun Ashleigh says, "I don't know much about that." Ashleigh climbs up the ladder and is gone. > Go upward The forecastle of the boat is surprisingly comfortable despite its small size. The helm controls, including the wheel, are mounted on the fore wall, next to a chest-of-drawers which sports a lamp. Across from the chest and beside the west entrance is the galley; between the galley and the helm is a companionway to the fore stateroom. Also on the port wall, aft of the entrance, is a small bar. Across from it is a dinette bench. Windows are at each of the cardinal directions. The west entranceway is open, as is the companionway to the north. Sitting on the small bar is a drink tray. Ashleigh is here, standing pensively. Bill is slumped in the dinette bench. Bill hands Ash's purse to her. "Here," he says, "you dropped this." Ashleigh turns an odd shade of red: you can't tell if she's embarassed, mad, or worried. "Thanks," she finally says. > You ask Bill about Bill "I, uh, don't really know anything about it," Bill says. Ashleigh climbs down the ladder and is gone. > You wait for a while Time passes... Bill suddenly notices Ash's purse. "Oh," he says, "Ashleigh's purse." He picks it up, sits back down, changes his mind, starts down the ladder to the fore stateroom, changes his mind again, and collapses on the dinette bench once more. > Inventory You have a pill bottle, a portable radio, and a pair of wires. The pill bottle seems to contain five little pills. > You check your inventory You have a pill bottle, a portable radio, and a pair of wires. The pill bottle seems to contain five little pills. Ashleigh climbs down the ladder and is gone. > You hit Bill Before you can do anything, Carl has glanced up at you, then at Bill. "Yeah?" he asks, but your face tells him something's wrong. Bill is faster than both of you. "Get in front of me. Both of you. Let's go find Ashleigh." The forecastle of the boat is surprisingly comfortable despite its small size. The helm controls, including the wheel, are mounted on the fore wall, next to a chest-of-drawers which sports a lamp. Across from the chest and beside the west entrance is the galley; between the galley and the helm is a companionway to the fore stateroom. Also on the port wall, aft of the entrance, is a small bar. Across from it is a dinette bench. Windows are at each of the cardinal directions. The west entranceway is open, as is the companionway to the north. Sitting on the small bar is a drink tray. Ashleigh is here, standing pensively. Carl is standing here, eyeing Bill and his gun. Bill, more tense than you've ever seen him, is waving around a gun. > You show the pictures to Bill Bill points the gun at you. "Don't move! Don't move!" You freeze, hoping you've distracted him enough, but knowing that you haven't. Carl decided that now's his best chance, and he jumps towards Bill. Bill jerks back, swinging the revolver around and firing in the same motion. The smell of cordite fills the air as Ashleigh screams. Carl's eyes widen almost comically, and he staggers back, blood spurting from a newly-formed hole approximately in the middle of his chest. Bill fires again, then again, more of a reflex action than anything else. You try to grab the gun from Bill, but he backhands you with it. "Shut up, Ashleigh!" he yells at Ash. Surprisingly, she stops. Bill looks around wildly, then makes a decision. "Drag him into the stateroom, both of you." "Let me at least get one of the drinks for their wounds," Ash begs of Bill. He nods slightly, glancing nervously around the forecastle. Ashleigh grabs the whiskey bottle. You take hold of one of Carl's arms; Ashleigh grabs the other, looking distinctly queasy. The two of you drag Carl into the stateroom, leaving Bill behind to mutter to himself about his nerves and how they need calming. Compact yet liveable, the fore stateroom has two v-berths that meet near the nose of the ship. On the port wall is an open hanging locker, and across from it is the door to the forward head, standing open. A small ladder to the south leads up to a door. The hanging locker seems to contain a safe. Carl lies limply on the floor where you and Ashleigh dropped him. Asheligh is sitting in some sort of catatonic state. > Shout You yell for all you're worth. Bill jerks, swinging the gun at you. Carl is as surprised as Bill and Ashleigh, but he recovers more quickly and leaps at Bill. Bill turns and fires in the same motion. The smell of cordite fills the air, and Carl's leap turns into a stumble as the revolver bullet furrows into his left leg. He lets out a long, drawn-out scream. Bill and Ashleigh are shocked into immobility. You make a grab for Bill's gun, but he still possesses the presence of mind to backhand you viciously with it. Bill looks around wildly, then makes a decision. "Drag him into the stateroom, both of you." "Let me at least get one of the drinks for their wounds," Ash begs of Bill. He nods slightly, glancing nervously around the forecastle. Ashleigh grabs the whiskey bottle. You take hold of one of Carl's arms; Ashleigh grabs the other, looking distinctly queasy. The two of you drag Carl into the stateroom, leaving Bill behind to mutter to himself about his nerves and how they need calming. Compact yet liveable, the fore stateroom has two v-berths that meet near the nose of the ship. On the port wall is an open hanging locker, and across from it is the door to the forward head, standing open. A small ladder to the south leads up to a door. The hanging locker seems to contain a safe. Carl lies here, in shock from the wound to his leg. Ashleigh is sitting beside Carl, tending to his wound. > Up You'll have to open the south door first. Ashleigh dribbles some of the whiskey onto Carl's leg. He screams, then mercifully passes out. "It'll be ok, it'll be ok," she whispers to him, dropping the bottle. > Oops bottle Which bottle do you mean, the pill bottle, or the whiskey bottle? > Pill Opening the pill bottle reveals five little pills. > You put the pills in the whiskey bottle little pill: You drop one of the pills into the whiskey bottle. It quickly dissolves, leaving behind virtually no trace. little pill: You drop one of the pills into the whiskey bottle. It quickly dissolves, leaving behind virtually no trace. little pill: You drop one of the pills into the whiskey bottle. It quickly dissolves, leaving behind virtually no trace. little pill: You drop one of the pills into the whiskey bottle. It quickly dissolves, leaving behind virtually no trace. little pill: You drop one of the pills into the whiskey bottle. It quickly dissolves, leaving behind virtually no trace. > You look Compact yet liveable, the fore stateroom has two v-berths that meet near the nose of the ship. On the port wall is an open hanging locker, and across from it is the door to the forward head, standing open. A small ladder to the south leads up to a door. The hanging locker seems to contain a safe. Carl lies here, in shock from the wound to his leg. Ashleigh is sitting beside Carl, tending to his wound. > Up You'll have to open the south door first. > You open the door Which door do you mean, the south door, or the east door? > South No matter how hard you try, you can't open it. Bill must have wedged something against it. > South All that would do would be to reduce your frustration at the expense of something which isn't yours. Besides, you would probably hurt yourself. > You go to the east The forward head sports a small toilet, a sink, and a miniscule shower. In the floor is a small drain; above the sink, a mirror and medicine cabinet. An open door leads west. > You examine the cabinet It is bolted to the wall just above the sink. It is made of strong plastic, and is closed. > You open it Opened. You hear the companionway between the stateroom and the forecastle being unblocked and opened. A few seconds later, you hear Bill's voice. "Where's the whiskey, Ashleigh?" Ashleigh stammers, "What--why do you--what--" "Where is it!?!" he screams, totally out of control now. > Go west Compact yet liveable, the fore stateroom has two v-berths that meet near the nose of the ship. On the port wall is an open hanging locker, and across from it is the door to the forward head, standing open. A small ladder to the south leads up to a door. The hanging locker seems to contain a safe. Carl lies here, in shock from the wound to his leg. Ashleigh is sitting beside Carl, tending to his wound. Bill, more tense than you've ever seen him, is waving around a gun. As you enter, Bill swivels around. "You!" he screams at you. You hand over the whiskey bottle without a word. He upends the bottle and drains it in one draught. Bill's eyes suddenly close, much to his surprise. The muzzle of the gun traces an arc to the floor. "Sleepy," he mumbles, just before he drops the gun and crumples to the floor. You are left with Ashleigh and Carl's unconscious body to wait for someone to pick you up. In just under an hour, a Coast Guard ship pulls alongside the *Bellerophon*. All you can think is, why did they take so long? The three of you are taken in for questioning, and Bill is turned over to the police. You were fortunate enough to stop Bill before he could kill Carl, even though Carl will limp a bit for the rest of his life. You ferreted out the connection between Carl, Thom, and those pictures; but you never found out why Ashleigh was carrying that gun. All in all, a good showing. Thank you for playing Undertow. How did Thom ever talk you into this one... Your friend Thom Hall has always been a smooth talker, which is probably how he got you to attend his party on board the *Bellerophon*. The fourty-eight-foot yacht is named after the H.M.S. Bellerophon, the ship on which Napoleon formally surrendered in 1815 after Waterloo. Thom isn't usually too modest. Anyway, you're now stuck at a floating party with three other people you barely know, friends of Thom's. Bill Leveritt is one of Thom's partners in his architectural firm. Carl Weathers, another old friend of Thom's, brought his girlfriend Ashleigh Flannagin, which completes the floating fivesome. So far you've seen Bill and Thom yell at each other, Thom hit Carl for some unexplained reason, and Ashleigh ignore both Thom and you. Not the most pleasant party you've ever been to. And it's barely 10 a.m... Undertow v1.1 (9/5/1995) by Stephen Granade The forward head sports a small toilet, a sink, and a miniscule shower. In the floor is a small drain; above the sink, a mirror and medicine cabinet. A closed door leads west. > You wait Before you can do anything, Carl has glanced up at you, then at Bill. "Yeah?" he asks, but your face tells him something's wrong. Bill is faster than both of you. "Get in front of me. Both of you. Let's go find Ashleigh." The forecastle of the boat is surprisingly comfortable despite its small size. The helm controls, including the wheel, are mounted on the fore wall, next to a chest-of-drawers which sports a lamp. Across from the chest and beside the west entrance is the galley; between the galley and the helm is a companionway to the fore stateroom. Also on the port wall, aft of the entrance, is a small bar. Across from it is a dinette bench. Windows are at each of the cardinal directions. The west entranceway is open, as is the companionway to the north. Sitting on the small bar is a drink tray. Ashleigh is here, standing pensively. Carl is standing here, eyeing Bill and his gun. Bill, more tense than you've ever seen him, is waving around a gun. > You ask Carl about Ashleigh Bill points the gun at you. "Don't move! Don't move!" You freeze, hoping you've distracted him enough, but knowing that you haven't. Carl decided that now's his best chance, and he jumps towards Bill. Bill jerks back, swinging the revolver around and firing in the same motion. The smell of cordite fills the air as Ashleigh screams. Carl's eyes widen almost comically, and he staggers back, blood spurting from a newly-formed hole approximately in the middle of his chest. Bill fires again, then again, more of a reflex action than anything else. You try to grab the gun from Bill, but he backhands you with it. "Shut up, Ashleigh!" he yells at Ash. Surprisingly, she stops. Bill looks around wildly, then makes a decision. "Drag him into the stateroom, both of you." "Let me at least get one of the drinks for their wounds," Ash begs of Bill. He nods slightly, glancing nervously around the forecastle. Ashleigh grabs the whiskey bottle. You take hold of one of Carl's arms; Ashleigh grabs the other, looking distinctly queasy. The two of you drag Carl into the stateroom, leaving Bill behind to mutter to himself about his nerves and how they need calming. Compact yet liveable, the fore stateroom has two v-berths that meet near the nose of the ship. On the port wall is an open hanging locker, and across from it is the door to the forward head, standing open. A small ladder to the south leads up to a door. The hanging locker seems to contain a safe. Carl lies limply on the floor where you and Ashleigh dropped him. Asheligh is sitting in some sort of catatonic state. > You hit Bill You make a very sudden move towards Bill, not the brightest thing to do to a nervous man with a gun. Bill, however, is reluctant to shoot you. "Don't try anything!" he warns you in a high-pitched voice, the gun trembling in his grip. Carl is as surprised as Bill and Ashleigh, but he recovers more quickly and leaps at Bill. Bill turns and fires in the same motion. The smell of cordite fills the air, and Carl's leap turns into a stumble as the revolver bullet furrows into his left leg. He lets out a long, drawn-out scream. Bill and Ashleigh are shocked into immobility. You make a grab for Bill's gun, but he still possesses the presence of mind to backhand you viciously with it. Bill looks around wildly, then makes a decision. "Drag him into the stateroom, both of you." "Let me at least get one of the drinks for their wounds," Ash begs of Bill. He nods slightly, glancing nervously around the forecastle. Ashleigh grabs the whiskey bottle. You take hold of one of Carl's arms; Ashleigh grabs the other, looking distinctly queasy. The two of you drag Carl into the stateroom, leaving Bill behind to mutter to himself about his nerves and how they need calming. Compact yet liveable, the fore stateroom has two v-berths that meet near the nose of the ship. On the port wall is an open hanging locker, and across from it is the door to the forward head, standing open. A small ladder to the south leads up to a door. The hanging locker seems to contain a safe. Carl lies here, in shock from the wound to his leg. Ashleigh is sitting beside Carl, tending to his wound. > You ask Ashleigh about the gun Ashleigh is busy comforting Carl. You'd best leave her alone. Ashleigh dribbles some of the whiskey onto Carl's leg. He screams, then mercifully passes out. "It'll be ok, it'll be ok," she whispers to him, dropping the bottle. > You ask Carl about the purse You wisely decide to leave Carl alone. > You ask Ashleigh about the gun "What?!?" Ashleigh says. "Okay! So there's a gun in my purse! So what?" She pushes a lock of her copper hair out of her face. "Yes, I wanted to kill him." She laughs ruefully. "Who didn't? But you saw him. He wasn't shot!" Ash sighs. "He was ready to have me fired. I just couldn't let him...he was going to..." Her objections slowly wind down. Then she looks back at you. "But I didn't kill him!" Ash then grabs your shoulder, pleading. "Please, please, don't tell Carl." > You ask Ashleigh about Thom Ashleigh runs her hand through her hair. "I just can't believe he's dead. Sure, I'd thought about it before, but..." She stops talking, perhaps realizing what she just said. > You get the bottle You already have the pill bottle! Ashleigh dribbles some of the whiskey onto Carl's leg. He screams, then mercifully passes out. "It'll be ok, it'll be ok," she whispers to him, dropping the bottle. > You drop the whiskey bottle Dropped. > Go west Compact yet liveable, the fore stateroom has two v-berths that meet near the nose of the ship. On the port wall is an open hanging locker, and across from it is the door to the forward head, standing open. A small ladder to the south leads up to a door. You see a whiskey bottle here. The hanging locker seems to contain a safe. Carl lies here, in shock from the wound to his leg. Ashleigh is sitting beside Carl, tending to his wound. > You wait a while Time passes... A sudden sound startles you. The companionway is being opened! Bill climbs down the ladder, revolver pointed at you the whole time. "Where's the whiskey?" he asks you and Ashleigh. He then sees the bottle. "Get it for me," he tells you, motioning with the gun. You comply, handing it to him. He upends the bottle, drinking all of it before tossing the empty bottle aside. Bill's eyes suddenly close, much to his surprise. The muzzle of the gun traces an arc to the floor. "Sleepy," he mumbles, just before he drops the gun and crumples to the floor. You are left with Ashleigh and Carl's unconscious body to wait for someone to pick you up. In just under an hour, a Coast Guard ship pulls alongside the *Bellerophon*. All you can think is, why did they take so long? The three of you are taken in for questioning, and Bill is turned over to the police. You were fortunate enough to stop Bill before he could kill Carl, even though Carl will limp a bit for the rest of his life. You ferreted out the connection between Carl, Thom, and those pictures; andyou discovered why Ashleigh was after Thom. All in all, an excellent showing. Thank you for playing Undertow.

[Themes: Apollo 18 Tribute Album, based on songs] Sigh. In retrospect, admitting yourself to this overseas sanitarium was a bad idea. The grounds here are beautiful, and the food is divine, but you're becoming impatient with the doctorsâdoctors whose techniques could be charitably described as "unorthodox." Very little psychotherapy, and a bit too much word play. In any case, your disabling malaise has proven unshakeable. Today, you face your final evaluation with Dr. Schuyler. If you pass, you'll be able to leave this place, perhaps to renew your attempts at recuperation elsewhere. If you fail, the doctors might recommend that you remain... You find yourself, once again, in Dr. Schuyler's spacious and tastefully decorated office. The doctor is here. He holds a clipboard and a pen, and sits in his chair with impeccable posture. "Let's begin your evaluation," he says, and turns over a nearby egg timer. The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... cold?" (You've been preparing for this. You must respond by saying NO I'M FEELING X, where X is a word that rhymes with Dr. Schuyler's suggested emotion. Type fastâyou only have sixty seconds!) > No you're feeling old "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... courageous?" > No you're feeling outrageous "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... forced?" > No you're feeling divorced "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... horny?" > No you're feeling thorny "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... bright?" > No you're feeling right "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... delighted?" > No you're feeling smited "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... clever?" > No you're feeling whatever "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... down?" > No you're feeling brown "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... brave?" > No you're feeling grave "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... pessimistic?" > No you're feeling optimistic "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... surprised?" > No you're feeling despised "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... saucy?" > No you're feeling bossy "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... furious?" > No you're feeling curious "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... provoked?" > No you're feeling smoked "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... diminished?" > No you're feeling finished "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... flat?" > No you're feeling fat "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... acrimonious?" > No you're feeling sanctimonious "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... serene?" > No you're feeling green "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... depressed?" > No you're feeling repressed "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... enraged?" > No you're feeling deranged "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... numb?" > No you're feeling glum "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... annoyed?" > No you're feeling buoyed "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... wary?" > No you're feeling aquamarine "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... pained?" > No you're feeling brained "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... relieved?" > No you're feeling paranoid "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... nervous?" > No you're feeling chivalrous "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... alarmed?" > No you're feeling charmed "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... diminished?" > No you're feeling drained "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... sore?" > No you're feeling yours "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... inferior?" > No you're feeling superiour "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... afflicted?" > No you're feeling evicted "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... content?" > No you're feeling portent "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... despicable?" > No you're feeling inextricable "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... strong?" > No you're feeling thong "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... furious?" > No you're feeling bi-curious "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... desolate?" > No you're feeling resonate "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... suspicious?" > No you're feeling delicious "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... polite?" > No you're feeling delicious "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... aggressive?" > Feeling transgressive "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... uneasy?" > No you're feeling queasy "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... rejected?" > From the time "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... offended?" > No you're feeling schmoffended "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... blithe?" > No you're feeling lithe "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... content?" > No you're feeling so bent "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... gloomy?" > No you're feeling roomy "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... shocked?" > No you're feeling defrocked "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... annoyed?" > No you're feeling club floyd "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... dull?" > No you're feeling bull "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... shocked?" > No you're feeling glocked "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... pleased?" > No you're feeling squeezed "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... fearful?" > No you're feeling earful "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another." The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... tense?" > Y. cheapglulxe quit with exit status: 0

[Themes: Fantasy, logic] After a series of adventures too mind-boggling to put into words, you finally arrive at the antechamber to the Count's treasure vault! Oh my, oh me... 69,105 Keys For more about this game, type ABOUT. For credits, type CREDITS. Wowzers. The Count opted for simplicity and vague elegance in his treasure vault antechamber, choosing to dress the walls, floor, and ceiling alike in money-green marble tiles delicately flecked with gold. Apart from yourself and the stupendously locked vault door to the south, there's nothing here. Except for... THE KEYS. Like so many fallen autumn leaves, an astonishing number of keys litter the floor of this antechamber. (the keys) Just try examining or counting the keys (or interesting subsets of keys). [Author's Note: There's just one room. How hard can it be? Just unlock the door. Oh. There's 69,105 keys.] > You look at the keys You see nothing special about the keys. Except, of course, that the keys come in a large number of garish colors. The bows of the keys, that is, the wide ends of the keys are painted in various colors. The shafts of the keys, of course, are not painted. > About yourself You're a young adventurer determined to win the Count's final challenge: to obtain the treasure he locked up in his vault so many years ago. > You look at what you're carrying with you You are carrying nothing. So not cool. > You take all keys: It's pointless to pick up any of these keys except the one key that you want: the key to the vault door. > You count the keys You see 69105 keys here. > You look at the door The heavy vault door is closed and locked. Very locked. Your keen adventurer eyes espy the following inscription: "One of these keys is not like the others. One of these keys just isn't the same. That one unique key unlocks my vault. Perhaps it would help if you tried my name. -- Count Keys"

[Themes: Fantasy] > Look around Wowzers. The Count opted for simplicity and vague elegance in his treasure vault antechamber, choosing to dress the walls, floor, and ceiling alike in money-green marble tiles delicately flecked with gold. Apart from yourself and the stupendously locked vault door to the south, there's nothing here. Except for... THE KEYS. Like so many fallen autumn leaves, an astonishing 69,105 keys litter the floor of this antechamber. > You examine the colours There are numerous colors of keys. You see white keys, black keys, red keys, orange keys, yellow keys, green keys, blue keys, violet keys, brown keys, pink keys, grey keys, turquoise keys, magenta keys, taupe keys, beige keys, aqua keys, navy keys, and cyan keys. The colors are painted on the bows (the fat ends) of the keys; the metal shafts of the keys are bare. Every key is painted with exactly one color. There are no unpainted keys. > You examine the red key You see nothing special about the keys with red bows. Perhaps you should be more specific? Try specifying the metal as well. > You examine the metal Who knew that keys were made in so many types of metal? You can see silver keys, copper keys, steel keys, iron keys, gold keys, nickel keys, bronze keys, brass keys, chrome keys, and even aluminum keys here. > You examine the silver keys You see nothing special about the silver keys. Wait. The keys have brand names stamped on them. Acme, Borden, Carter, and so on. How many brands are there? > You get the carter key It's pointless to pick up any of these keys except the one key that you want: the key to the vault door. > You count brands There are 6 brands of keys here. > You count the colours There are 18 colors of key bows here. > You count the metals There are 10 metals used to make the keys here. > Count acme You see 13770 Acme keys here. > Count borden You see 255 Borden keys here. > You count Carter You see 13770 Carter keys here. > You examine Borden You see nothing special about the Borden keys. Hmmm. There's gotta be something else... And there is! Some keys are scratched and some keys are unscratched! At the top of the shafts of some keys, there's a tiny little horizontal scratch. Bwah-ha-ha! Other adventurers might miss such a tiny detail, but not you! Let's call this the scratchness property. (How many properties is that now?) > Count scratchness There are 2 scratchnesses. > Count properties Each key has 7 qualities or properties. > You count the acme silver keys You see 1530 Acme silver keys here. > Count scratched You see 27794 scratched keys here. > Count acme silver scratched keys You see 1530 scratched Acme silver keys here. > You count unscratched You see 41311 unscratched keys here. > Count borden scratched You see 254 scratched Borden keys here. > You take unscratched Borden With confidence, you take the one and only unique key. > You open the door with the key (the unique key) You fancy you hear hosannas sing in your honor as you unlock the vault door and claim a treasure so fabulous, a mere text description of which could hardly do it justice. Gosh. > You count yourself There's just one of you, babe.

[Themes: Fantasy] > You look at your surroundings Wowzers. The Count opted for simplicity and vague elegance in his treasure vault antechamber, choosing to dress the walls, floor, and ceiling alike in money-green marble tiles delicately flecked with gold. Apart from yourself and the stupendously locked vault door to the south, there's nothing here. Except for... THE KEYS. Like so many fallen autumn leaves, an astonishing number of keys litter the floor of this antechamber. > Count leaves There are 0 leaves here. But nice try. > You remember Count You remember three things about Count Keys. One: he loves counting things. Two: he loves keys. Three: he has a marvelous treasure in his treasure vault. You're not quite sure what this treasure is, but you know he obtained it during his worldwide travels. In his will, the Count decreed that after he died, a grand contest should be held in his home. Adventurers would compete, solving a series of intricate puzzles of his own design until, finally, one adventurer manages to reach the treasure and claim it. You hope that that adventurer will be you. > You count the tiles There are 2400 marble tiles here. You're glad it wasn't you that had to install all these tiles and get them to line up straight. You hate repetitive work. > Plugh My original title was always 69,105 Keys, but I brainstormed some other titles anyway. They were: Which Key?; The Count of Keys; Keygasm; Antechamber of Keys; Keys, Keys, Keys; and Qualia Control. > You rub Keys That won't help. None of the keys are dusty, dirty, grimy, slimy, tarshined, rusty, or encrusted. Cleanliness is not a property you have to worry about. Be thankful. > You examine the brands There's a handful of different brand names printed on the keys: Acme, Borden, Carter, Dynamo, Emperor, and Guardian. > Xyzzy A hollow voice sings: "I xyz zy spiders on the wall... I xyz zy cobwebs in the hall... I xyz zy candles on the shelf... When I'm alone, I xyz myself!" > Count borden You see 13770 Borden keys here. > Sing You sing: "You can't ride in my little wagon, The front seat's broken, and the back wheel's saggin'. Chug. Chug. Chug chug chug. Next verse, the same as the first! A little bit LOUDER and a little bit WORSE!" > Dance This antechamber isn't zoned for public dancing. Nertz. > You jump Ugh, no. The Pit of De Spare Keys was exhausting. You've had enough jumping about for today. > Blow leaves (first taking the leaves) You can't see any such thing. > You examine the properties Several qualities may help you distinguish one key from another. The keys differ from each other in their size, shape, color, brand name, metal, edging style, and, scratchness. (By "scratchness", we mean whether the key is scratched or not.) > You eat the properties (first taking the qualities) Qualities are an abstract concept which you can only examine or count. > You look at edging Carefully inspecting the keys before you, you notice that the edges of the keys' bows have different edging styles. Some edges are milled with tiny grooves. Some keys have pebbled edges which feel bumpy. Some keys have rounded edges. And, of course, some key edges are flat and unadorned. > Bother Quite. > You screw lock You are unable to. > You eat Keys (first taking the keys) It's pointless to pick up any of these keys except the one key that you want: the key to the vault door. > You eat lock (first taking the vault door) That's hardly portable. > Count rounded You see 22950 keys with rounded-edge bows here. > Xyzzy A hollow voice sings: "I xyz zy spiders on the wall... I xyz zy cobwebs in the hall... I xyz zy candles on the shelf... When I'm alone, I xyz myself!" > You kiss yourself If you think that'll help. > You squeeze yourself Keep your hands to yourself. > Count milled You see 22950 keys with milled-edge bows here. > You count flat You see 255 keys with flat-edge bows here. > You sort Keys How? There's no obvious order to sort them into. > You eat Keys (first taking the keys) It's pointless to pick up any of these keys except the one key that you want: the key to the vault door. > You count yourself There's just one of you, babe. > You look at what you're carrying with you You are carrying nothing. So not cool. > Count flat scratched You see 254 scratched keys with flat-edge bows here. > You examine the lock The heavy vault door is closed and locked. Very locked. Your keen adventurer eyes espy the following inscription: "One of these keys is not like the others. One of these keys just isn't the same. That one unique key unlocks my vault. Perhaps it would help if you tried my name. -- Count Keys" > You count the wall There are 4 walls here. No surprise there. > You get the inscription That's hardly portable. > Sing You sing: "You can't ride in my little wagon, The front seat's broken, and the back wheel's saggin'. Chug. Chug. Chug chug chug. Next verse, the same as the first! A little bit LOUDER and a little bit WORSE!" > You examine the colors There are numerous colors of keys. You see white keys, black keys, red keys, orange keys, yellow keys, green keys, blue keys, violet keys, brown keys, pink keys, grey keys, turquoise keys, magenta keys, taupe keys, beige keys, aqua keys, navy keys, and cyan keys. The colors are painted on the bows (the fat ends) of the keys; the metal shafts of the keys are bare. Every key is painted with exactly one color. There are no unpainted keys. > Count white You see 4050 keys with white bows here. > You screw yourself That would be less than courteous. > You screw lock You are unable to. > Fuck Count off. Fuck on. > You look Wowzers. The Fuck opted for simplicity and vague elegance in his treasure vault antechamber, choosing to dress the walls, floor, and ceiling alike in money-green marble tiles delicately flecked with gold. Apart from yourself and the stupendously locked vault door to the south, there's nothing here. Except for... THE KEYS. Like so many fallen autumn leaves, an astonishing number of keys litter the floor of this antechamber. > You count yourself There's just one of you, babe. > You remember Count You remember three things about Fuck Keys. One: he loves fucking things. Two: he loves keys. Three: he has a marvelous treasure in his treasure vault. You're not quite sure what this treasure is, but you know he obtained it during his worldwide travels. > You look at Keys In his will, the Fuck decreed that after he died, a grand contest should be held in his home. Adventurers would compete, solving a series of intricate puzzles of his own design until, finally, one adventurer manages to reach the treasure and claim it. You hope that that adventurer will be you. You see nothing special about the keys. Except, of course, that the keys come in a large number of garish colors. The bows of the keys, that is, the wide ends of the keys are painted in various colors. The shafts of the keys, of course, are not painted. > You look at door The heavy vault door is closed and locked. Very locked. Your keen adventurer eyes espy the following inscription: "One of these keys is not like the others. One of these keys just isn't the same. That one unique key unlocks my vault. Perhaps it would help if you tried my name. -- Fuck Keys" > You remember Count You remember three things about Fuck Keys. One: he loves fucking things. Two: he loves keys. Three: he has a marvelous treasure in his treasure vault. You're not quite sure what this treasure is, but you know he obtained it during his worldwide travels. In his will, the Fuck decreed that after he died, a grand contest should be held in his home. Adventurers would compete, solving a series of intricate puzzles of his own design until, finally, one adventurer manages to reach the treasure and claim it. You hope that that adventurer will be you. > Fuck the properties Each key has 7 qualities or properties. > You count brands There are 6 brands of keys here. > Count scratched flat You see 254 scratched keys with flat-edge bows here. > You count unscratched flat You see 1 unscratched key with a flat-edge bow here. That's it! Take it! > You take it With confidence, you take the one and only unique key. > You unlock door (with the unique key) You fancy you hear hosannas sing in your honor as you unlock the vault door and claim a treasure so fabulous, a mere text description of which could hardly do it justice. Gosh. > Amsuing Please give one of the answers above.

[Themes: Espionage, espionage, spy, infiltration, spies] A freelance spy is a great job. It pays well and you get to travel to new and interesting places. Unless you get caught, that part is not so great. You open the unmarked envelope and unfold the mission briefing enclosed within: Infiltrate MegaCorp, gain access to the data centre, download the database. So here you are, standing in the foyer of MegaCorp, disguised as a repairman. You are in the spacious foyer of the MegaCorp Building. The room gives you the feeling of businesslike detachment. You are standing by the reception desk in the centre of the room, a small receptionist is sitting behind it. To the north is an elevator, and a door beside it. You can see a receptionist here. [Author's Note: A freelance spy is a great job. It pays well and you get to travel to new and interesting places. Unless you get caught, that part is not so great. You open the unmarked envelope and unfold the mission briefing enclosed within: Infiltrate MegaCorp, gain access to the data centre, download the database. So here you are, standing in the foyer of MegaCorp, disguised as a repairman.]

> You look at the receptionist A middle-aged woman with red hair, wearing horn-rimmed glasses. She catches you looking at her intently. You shift your gaze. > About yourself As good-looking as ever. > Inventory You are carrying: a job card an overall (being worn) a toolbox (closed) a wrist watch (being worn) > You examine the card This is a forged job card that states you are on-site to repair a faulty air conditioning unit. During the past week you gained access to the company intranet, and forged a matching maintenance record on their systems. > You look at the overall This is your disguise. It is a light brown workman's overall. > You examine the toolbox It looks just like a metal toolbox, the red paint is even scuffed away along the edges. In reality it is just a metal toolbox, except it contains spy gear. Best you open it in private. > Examine watch The time on your spy watch shows as 9:06 am. > You show the card to her She takes the job card from you and scrutinizes it against her records. "Fine", she says, handing you a clip-on tag. "Carry this with you at all times. The maintenance door is there", she points north. "Have a nice day". > You examine tag A minimal security pass that entitles you to do maintenance work. > You wear it You put on the maintenance tag. > Go north (first opening the service entrance) "Sir!", the receptionist calls after you, "You can't enter there without clearance." (You could ignore her warning and go ahead, if you dare). > You show tag to her (the receptionist) She looks at the maintenance tag, feigning amusement. > You ask her about the clearance (the receptionist about that) She pauses as if thinking, and continues typing. > Inventory You are carrying: a maintenance tag (being worn) an overall (being worn) a toolbox (closed) a wrist watch (being worn) > You look at the card A forged job card. > You take the card That seems to belong to the receptionist. > You ask the receptionist for the card The receptionist has better things to do. > Go north (first opening the service entrance) "Sir!", the receptionist calls after you, "You can't enter there without clearance." (You could ignore her warning and go ahead, if you dare). > Go north (first opening the service entrance) You ignore the receptionist's warning and enter the doorway, she raises an alarm and within seconds you are surrounded by armed guards. You are promptly led away deep into the confines of the the building, never to be heard from again. > You remove the tag You take off the maintenance tag. > Go north (first opening the service entrance) The receptionist eyes you from behind her fortress-desk as you open the door. A small room with grey walls that drain the feng shui out of the carefully crafted maintenance quarters. There is all manner of piping running along the roof. There is a panel in the north wall. > You examine the piping Pipes of various sizes run along the ceiling. You guess they carry water, gas or waste. > You look at the panel A grey steel panel. This one seems to cover a tunnel. > You open the panel The panel is screwed shut. > You open the toolbox You open the toolbox, revealing a screwdriver, a data disk and a suit. > You look at the screwdriver A Phillips head screwdriver. > You examine the disk A round silver magnetic disk for storing digital data. > You examine the suit A smart grey suit. The perfect attire for a day of espionage. > You take the screwdriver Taken. > Unscrew panel You loosen the screws using the screwdriver. The panel swings open. > Go north You sense that you should change your disguise first. > You remove the overall You remove the overall and drop it on the floor. > You examine overall It is a light brown workman's overall. > About yourself As good-looking as ever. > You wear the suit (first taking the suit) You put on the suit. > You drop the toolbox Dropped. > You check what you're carrying You are carrying: a suit (being worn) a data disk a screwdriver a maintenance tag a wrist watch (being worn) > You go to the north Deftly, you step through the access tunnel and into the emergency fire escape stairwell. You ascend the stairs in the dim light and emerge surreptitiously in the administrative level of the building. Your arrival goes unnoticed. The large room is divided into a dozen cubicles, and it has the dull hum of a funeral parlour. A cubicle is nearby. There is a doorway to the west, and an elevator to the north. You can see a copy machine here. > You look at the machine It is a chunky piece of machinery with many tiny buttons. You notice stains on top of the machine. > You examine the stains They are coffee ring stains, their location suggests it is where a cup is prone to spill. Somebody has a bad habit of putting their cups on the copy machine. > You examine the cubicle It is the closest cubicle to the copy machine. In the cubicle are a security pass and an elderly man. > You look at the man He is an elderly man with receding brown hair. He seems preoccupied with his paperwork. > You look at the pass A security pass attached to a lanyard. The print on the card reads "elevator access". > You take the pass It is out of reach. You need to enter the cubicle. The man exits his cubicle and walks to the copy machine. It dutifully "whirrs" and "schliks" out copies, the man grabs the pages and returns to his cubicle. > You enter the cubicle Not while the cubicle is occupied. > You go west This room has no furniture. You guess MegaCorp doesn't want relaxed employees. There is a pot of coffee on a counter here. A page is fixed to the side of the counter. You can also see a coffee mug here. > You read the page Do not put your coffee mugs on the copier. You will be liable for any damages due to spillage - Management > Go east The large room is divided into a dozen cubicles, and it has the dull hum of a funeral parlour. A cubicle is nearby. The Breakroom is to the west, and an elevator to the north. You can see a copy machine here. > You look at the mug A white unmarked mug. > You put the coffee in the mug (the coffee pot in the coffee mug) You fill the mug with hot coffee. Taken. Your mug overfloweth. > You take mug You already have that. > Wait Time passes. The elderly man gets up from his cubicle and walks to the copy machine. He shuffles his papers and pushes the buttons. > Continue Time passes. Clang! "What the hell!" the man curses, trying to save his coffee soaked pages. > Keep going Time passes. "Darn it", the man curses. > You enter the cubicle You get into the cubicle. In the cubicle you can see a security pass. "Rats!" the man mumbles. > You take the pass Taken. "Darn it", the man curses. > Exit You get out of the cubicle. The large room is divided into a dozen cubicles, and it has the dull hum of a funeral parlour. A cubicle is nearby. The Breakroom is to the west, and an elevator to the north. You can see an elderly man and a copy machine (on which is a coffee mug) here. "Rats!" the man mumbles. > Go north (first opening the elevator) You swipe the security pass across the elevator scanner, the door slides open and you step inside. You feel gravity reduce as you descend underground... Rows upon rows of servers fill this room, lengths of cabling run between them like neurons in a brain. The racks are interspersed with computer terminals, used to access various systems in the building. A technician is here, working on a terminal. You can also see a fire control terminal and a database terminal here. > You examine the technician A middle-aged woman wearing a long white coat. Her brown hair is tied up. > You examine the cabling They network the computers to each other. > You look at the servers Powerful computers that control various aspects of the company. Some of the servers can be accessed by computer terminals. > You examine the fire This terminal controls the fire detection and sprinkler systems of the building. You can log on terminal to use it. > You examine the database This terminal controls the information database. You notice a drive bay attached to it. You can log on terminal to use it. > You talk to the technician The technician is too busy to have a conversation. > You put the disk in the drive "What are you doing?", the tech asks you. "Who are you? Show me your security pass!" She realizes that the pass does not belong to you, before you can react she trips an alarm. Armed men surround you within seconds and you are led away, never to be heard from again. > Log on fire MegaCorp fire and safety control - Status: no fires - Activating fire drill A siren rings out loudly, accompanied by a flashing red light in the ceiling. The technician runs through the rows of servers, out of sight. A red light flashes in your eyes. > You put the disk in the drive You put the data disk into the drive bay. A red light flashes in your eyes. > You log on database You download the files to the data disk in the drive bay, you have what you came for. Now to advance your own agenda: you upload a trojan horse into the server, and log off. A red light flashes in your eyes. > You take the disk You grab the data disk and make your escape up the stairs to the roof. You reverse your suit jacket, turning it into a harness. A few minutes later, a glider soars overhead, a cable trailing below it. Executing a perfectly timed run, you grab the cable while hooking it into your suit harness - You soar silently out of sight. Your mission was a success!

[Themes: Horror, ghost, halloween, school, party, conversation, ghosts] A school gymnasium with four or five pumpkins on the side and orange and black streamers hanging from the ceiling. [Conversation in this game is handled by typing "SAY topic TO person". Your topics are listed in your inventory, which you can reach by typing "i".] You can see Fred, Jane and a cooler here. [Author's Note: It's Halloween Night at the highschool gym Your costume's ready, you got a trim It might be time to make some friends But we'll see how the story ends. La Petite Mort entry in ECTOCOMP 2015, with a quick implementation of a new conversation system.]

[Themes: Horror, halloween, conversation] > About yourself You're wearing a costume. > You examine the costume A Phantom of the Schoolhouse costume, complete with gloves and mask. [New topic: Phantom] > You examine the gloves A Phantom of the Schoolhouse costume, complete with gloves and mask. > You examine Fred A young man wearing a white suit with red splatters all over. He is standing next to a cooler with mist coming out of it. > You examine cooler A small blue cooler with mist coming out of it. > You look at Jane A young woman wearing a simple frock covered with dozens of old... are those beepers? Like from the 90"s? > Topics Items: Your costume (being worn) Topics: Phantom-"What do you think about my costume?" Compliment-"Wow, nice costume!" Greeting-"Hi! My name is Gerald." > You say the greeting Whom do you want to say Greeting-"Hi! My name is Gerald." to? > You say the greeting to Fred "Hi! My name is Gerald." "Hi! my name is Fred!" [New topic: About Fred] > You say greeting to Jane "Hi! My name is Gerald." "Hi! my name is Jane!" [New topic: About Jane] > You say about Jane to Jane "So, what do you know about Jane?" Jane gives you a dumb look and says, "I AM Jane." > You say about Jane to Fred "So, what do you know about Jane?" He looks at Jane, then leans forward and whispers, "Can you keep a secret? Jane has been my crush for two years now. I heard she likes walking dead, so I made this whole getup and these brainpops to impress her." [New topics: Crush and Lie] > You say about Fred to Jane "So, what do you know about Fred?" She brightens up, peeking over at Fred. "Can you keep a secret? I think Fred is the sweetest man at school. He's really into repairing old technology, so I made this costume for him." She twirls to display her outfit. "I love fixing old stuff too, That's how we met, in our Tech class." [New topic: Romance] > Topics Items: Your costume (being worn) Topics: Romance-"So, I found out who Jane is interested in..." Lie-"Fred told me he hates your guts." Crush-"So, I found out who Fred is interested in..." About Jane-"So, what do you know about Jane?" About Fred-"So, what do you know about Fred?" Phantom-"What do you think about my costume?" Compliment-"Wow, nice costume!" Greeting-"Hi! My name is Gerald." > You say the compliment to Jane "Wow, nice costume"!" "Awww, you're sweet! I'm the Grim Beeper, reminding all technology that it will one day be obsolete." > You say the compliment to Fred "Wow, nice costume"!" "Thanks! I'm a zombie ice cream man selling brainpops. You want one?" [New topics: Okay and Uhh] > You say Phantom to Fred "What do you think about my costume?" "It's nice! What are you?" "I'm the Phantom of the Schoolhouse." "Cool! I didn't think they let people wear masks anymore." They hesitate for a moment. "To be honest, I've been wondering if you even go to this school." "Let's just say that I already graduated. Don't tell anyone." > Topics Items: Your costume (being worn) Topics: Romance-"So, I found out who Jane is interested in..." Lie-"Fred told me he hates your guts." Crush-"So, I found out who Fred is interested in..." About Jane-"So, what do you know about Jane?" About Fred-"So, what do you know about Fred?" Compliment-"Wow, nice costume!" Greeting-"Hi! My name is Gerald." > You say compliment to Fred "Wow, nice costume"!" "Thanks! I'm a zombie ice cream man selling brainpops. You want one?" > You say okay Whom do you want to say Okay-"Why not?" to? > You say okay to Fred "Why not?" He hands you a brainpop. > You examine the brainpop A homemade popsicle with some kind of mush in it. > You eat brainpop Wow! That really hits the spot! The mush was strawberries. > You say lie to Jane "Fred told me hates your guts. He even put strawberry in those popsicles because he knows you hate it." Jane storms away, glaring at Fred. Fred looks at her, perplexed, then back at you. You ignore Fred, and look at the pumpkins instead. Oooh, nice ghost carving. > You say the romance to Fred "So, I found out who Jane is interested in... He looks upset for a second. "Who?" "She said she's been into you ever since Tech class. She wore the beeper dress just for you. Fred seems noticeably more cheerful. > Topics Items: Your costume (being worn) Topics: Romance-"So, I found out who Jane is interested in..." Lie-"Fred told me he hates your guts." About Jane-"So, what do you know about Jane?" About Fred-"So, what do you know about Fred?" Compliment-"Wow, nice costume!" Greeting-"Hi! My name is Gerald." > You give the brainpop to Jane She grimaces and says, "No thanks, I don't like strawberry." [New topic: Strawberries] > You say the strawberries to Fred "Did you know Jane doesn't like strawberries?" Fred's face blanches. He says, "Aw, crap," and hangs his head. > Topics Items: brainpop Your costume (being worn) Topics: Strawberries-"Did you know Jane doesn't like strawberries?" Romance-"So, I found out who Jane is interested in..." Lie-"Fred told me he hates your guts." About Jane-"So, what do you know about Jane?" About Fred-"So, what do you know about Fred?" Compliment-"Wow, nice costume!" Greeting-"Hi! My name is Gerald." > You say about Fred to Fred "So, what do you know about Fred?" Fred gives you a dumb look and says, "I AM Fred." > You say about Jane to Fred "So, what do you know about Jane?" He looks at Jane, then leans forward and whispers, "Can you keep a secret? Jane has been my crush for two years now. I heard she likes walking dead, so I made this whole getup and these brainpops to impress her. But apparently she hates strawberries..." > You say about Fred to Jane "So, what do you know about Fred?" She brightens up, peeking over at Fred. "Can you keep a secret? I think Fred is the sweetest man at school. He's really into repairing old technology, so I made this costume for him." She twirls to display her outfit. "I love fixing old stuff too, That's how we met, in our Tech class." > Topics Items: brainpop Your costume (being worn) Topics: Romance-"So, I found out who Jane is interested in..." Lie-"Fred told me he hates your guts." Crush-"So, I found out who Fred is interested in..." Strawberries-"Did you know Jane doesn't like strawberries?" About Jane-"So, what do you know about Jane?" About Fred-"So, what do you know about Fred?" Compliment-"Wow, nice costume!" Greeting-"Hi! My name is Gerald." > You examine the costume A Phantom of the Schoolhouse costume, complete with gloves and mask. > Show costume to Fred Fred is unimpressed. > You show the costume to Jane Jane is unimpressed. > You say the crush to Jane "So, I found out who Fred is interested in..." "Really?" "He told me he's had a crush on you for two years". Jane turns to Fred and smiles. She walks over and draws him to the side. You see the two of them laughing together, and then Jane kisses Fred on the cheek and he blushes. Fred turns to you as they walk out together, and gives you a thumbs up. > You check what you're carrying Items: Your costume (being worn) Topics: Compliment-"Wow, nice costume!" Greeting-"Hi! My name is Gerald." > You examine the costume A Phantom of the Schoolhouse costume, complete with gloves and mask. [New topic: Phantom] > You say the greeting to cooler You can only do that to something animate. > You say Phantom to Fred "What do you think about my costume?" "It's nice! What are you?" "I'm the Phantom of the Schoolhouse." "Cool! I didn't think they let people wear masks anymore." They hesitate for a moment. "To be honest, I've been wondering if you even go to this school." "Let's just say that I already graduated. Don't tell anyone." > Dance You bob your head. > Topics Items: Your costume (being worn) Topics: About Jane-"So, what do you know about Jane?" About Fred-"So, what do you know about Fred?" Compliment-"Wow, nice costume!" Greeting-"Hi! My name is Gerald." > You look at Jane A young woman wearing a simple frock covered with dozens of old... are those beepers? Like from the 90"s? > You examine Fred A young man wearing a white suit with red splatters all over. He is standing next to a cooler with mist coming out of it. > You examine cooler A small blue cooler with mist coming out of it. > Dance You break dance.

[Themes: male protagonist, mystery, magic, exploration, amnesia] Would you like a primer on interactive fiction? (Type yes or no, then hit ENTER.) [Author's Note: I am a sigil reader. I work in a city where sigils are a matter of public health, for a maliciously inscribed sigil could mean the ruin of a business - or a soul. Except today I wake to a changed world. The sigils are distorted. And the Station is silent. I fear I am responsible. A short parser game about exploration, loss and restoration.] > You go north A boom rolled through my body. When I woke, it was high noon, and the air was dead. Press any key to proceed. Sigil Reader (Field) Concrete floor. Linoleum ceiling... How long had I been out? Or was it just me? I looked around the lobby, familiar as my own shoes: it was narrow, and it was where captured objects or monsters to be quarantined were logged. Anyone with a staff ID could tap in to the north, and to the east was the quarantine room. The red light above the doorway was dark. A card scanner, installed after we heard about the Kampong Slasher, prevented unauthorised personnel from entering the main offices. Plaques covered the wall of the Station Lobby. A reception desk took centre stage, a bastion of sense against whatever the public had to offer. > About yourself T-shirt. Jeans. Black leather boots, heavy and sturdy, but my footsteps felt light. As if my feet weren't touching the floor. > You look at what you're carrying with you I was carrying: a pair of boots (being worn) a pair of jeans (being worn) a t-shirt (being worn) a brass key > You examine the key A brass-coloured key the length of my little finger. > You examine the jeans Blue jeans. Empty pockets. I'd be a bit more settled if I could examine the sigils in this place. > You examine Sigil Which do you mean, the protection sigil, sigil of speed or the sigil of silence? > You examine the protection sigil A swirling sign encircled in jasper, just one of the many wards that guarded the Station. But protected by whom? I frowned; this sigil was distorted, like it was half-melted. Had something breached its protective borders? It was all coming back. Something made me look down, and there was my ID card clipped to my belt. Had it always been there? > You look at card (the ID card) This card allowed me access into the staff-only areas of the Station. My name was Priyanka Ramasamy and my rank was Sigil Reader (Field). I was the only one in the Station who knew about sigils. > Inventory I was carrying: an ID card a pair of boots (being worn) a pair of jeans (being worn) a t-shirt (being worn) a brass key > You examine the key A brass-coloured key the length of my little finger.

[Themes: mystery, magic] > You look around Concrete floor. Linoleum ceiling... How long had I been out? Or was it just me? I looked around the lobby, familiar as my own shoes: it was narrow, and it was where captured objects or monsters to be quarantined were logged. Anyone with a staff ID could tap in to the north, and to the east was the quarantine room. The red light above the doorway was dark. A card scanner, installed after we heard about the Kampong Slasher, prevented unauthorised personnel from entering the main offices. Plaques covered the wall of the Station Lobby. A reception desk took centre stage, a bastion of sense against whatever the public had to offer. > You look at the red light The alarm for the Quarantine Room. It was triggered by dark, fire, and a host of other things. > You examine the plaques Varnished wooden plates, with the names of past directors engraved in gold, for having done something valiant or other. > You read the plaques One of them reads, "This Certificate of Excellence is awarded to TAN AH LONG, Director of Station 31 (2010-2012) in recognition of his loyalty and principle to the end. Special recognition for services to DRIP." > You look at the desk The front of the desk had a metal crest, a shape I had seen thousands of times, yet in my present state I could not picture it with my eyes closed. Peering round the other side of the desk, my eyes were drawn inexorably to the sigil of speed. There was a metallic crash from the office space. > You look at the crest (the crest) I made out only individual parts: a swirl here. A triangle there. But all together they made little sense to me. > You remember Slasher Nothing comes to mind. > You remember yourself I must have worked here once. > You go to the north The office space resembled a sports hall: high-ceilinged, with glass panels near the ceiling. Moonlight streamed through those panels, casting glowing shadows. A whiteboard stood in front of a row of tables, with half a scribble in sigil notation. Smashed against one wall was a metal locker. How had I missed that before? To the east was the office lounge. To the west was the registration office. The lobby lay to the south, while more office cubicles lay to the north. A standing whiteboard had been pushed to one side. I could also see a gear locker here. > You read the whiteboard Nothing was written on the whiteboard. > You look at the locker This metal file cabinet had been bought specially for the new Station. It held all the various weapons and assorted equipment that field agents used. On the door was a protection sigil. Already it had become pocked with rust on the corners. > You examine the protection sigil A swirling sign embossed right into the metal of the locker. In this case, it was probably to protect the equipment inside. This sigil was warped. Had something breached its protective borders? > You open locker I opened the gear locker, revealing a group photo, a faded body armour and a Mingsheng's body armour. > You look at the armour Which do you mean, the faded body armour or the Mingsheng's body armour? > Faded The fabric on this stabproof vest smelled faintly of sweat, and bore a name tape in front. It read Priyanka Ramasamy. > Wear faded (first taking the faded body armour) It was too late for this now. > You examine Mingsheng The only other vest in this locker - this was much newer than the other, and the nametape in front read "Lim Mingsheng". > You wear Mingsheng (first taking the Mingsheng's body armour) Yes, and what would I do with Mingsheng's vest? He hadn't seemed to get much use out of it, either. > You look athe t-shirt A plain white t-shirt. Well, there was a small stain high up on the chest. Probably sauce. I couldn't remember.

> Look around The office space resembled that of a sports hall, high-ceilinged, with glass panels near the ceiling. Moonlight streamed through those panels, casting glowing shadows. a rough grid pattern. In front of the tables, there was a whiteboard - did it have so many scribbles the last time I saw it?. To the east was a closed door. To the west was another room. The lobby lay to the south, while more office cubicles lay to the north. A standing whiteboard had been pushed to one side. I could also see a gear locker (in which were a group photo, a faded body armour and a Mingsheng's body armour) here. > You examine photo I saw a group of people, clad in heavy gear, arms around each other's shoulders. Their faces were familiar, but if I examined some of the detritus left in the station, I might be able to dredge up their names. > You examine the whiteboard An invaluable addition to group meetings. Where it had been empty before, it was now filled with notes. To one side, there was a note: "DON'T DO ANYTHING TO HIM UNTIL CLEARANCE!!!". > You remember the clearance Nothing comes to mind. > You remember Mingsheng I recalled the name, and I'd recognise him if I met him on the street. He was an intern, same as Gladys, who'd joined us not too long ago after leaving uni. We sometimes wondered. He'd had outstanding grades; he could have gotten government scholarships. And yet he came here.

[Themes: male protagonist] > Look around The office space resembled that of a sports hall, high-ceilinged, with glass panels near the ceiling. Moonlight streamed through those panels, casting glowing shadows. a rough grid pattern. In front of the tables, there was a whiteboard. To the east was a closed door. To the west was another room. The lobby lay to the south, while more office cubicles lay to the north. A standing whiteboard had been pushed to one side. I could also see a gear locker (in which were a group photo, a faded body armour and a Mingsheng's body armour) here. > You remember Gladys She... I'd worked with her, once. Nice girl, wasn't she? > You move the whiteboard It was fixed in place. > You look at the panels Several panes of glass were set in the ceiling at an angle and served as a skylight. > You examine the chairs Just some plastic chairs. If I hadn't been told otherwise, I'd have thought they were castoffs from a school. > You go east This was our lounge, and it was empty, which never happened. Paltry as it looked, it was where everyone congregated. To the west lay the exit out to the office space. A fancy television took pride of place in the room. In a corner was the heart of the lounge, the bar fridge. A large beanbag leaned against the bar fridge. > You look at the beanbag A red and grey thing filled with small plastic beads. I did not think I had ever sat in such an impractical thing, but I vaguely recalled it being received with great joy from my colleagues. > You sit What do you want to sit on? > Beanbag I got onto the beanbag.