Muggle Studies
by M. Flourish Klink (2012)
Genres: Fan fiction

You play as Alice Armstrong, the new Professor of Muggle Studies at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in Scotland, even though you've never heard of "muggles" before and never knew magic was real until the headmaster proved it to you. But when you arrive at the school, you discover that a botched spell has made everyone disappear and you're now trapped within the castle. Is this something you can fix without magic?

action: %
response: Magic is real.

Or that's what the Headmaster of Hogwarts College--no, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry--wants you to think. Assuming that you're not going insane, it seems like he's probably right. How else could you explain the way he appeared out of nowhere, or how he made you speak in rhyming couplets for ten minutes, or how he brought your grandmother's Lladró figurines to life and had them dancing with each other, or packed all your things with the wave of a wand, or...

Then, he asked you to be his new Professor of Muggle Studies. Whatever a "Muggle" is. You just needed to sign the contract, say good-bye to your old place, and you'd be whisked away. By magic. To Scotland. To start your new job immediately.

You asked for a little while to think. What you really meant, of course, was "a little while to go on a bender in celebration of all your notions about life and the world being shattered." That worked out pretty well, except you woke up with a pounding headache and a signed contract. Oh, and an old shoe, which apparently you are supposed to touch whenever you want to be transported. You're not sure how that works, but he put it around here somewhere--you can't quite remember where--and you'd better find it if you want to make it to Hogwarts.

A magical contract is probably pretty unbreakable, yeah?

An exploration of the wonderful world of wizardry, with apologies to J.K. Rowling, by Flourish Klink

Your simple one-room flat, suitable to the needs of a young teacher. The place was advertised as a steal, and everyone who sees it has to admit that its bones are good. Unfortunately, it hasn't been redone since before the Second World War. Also, it's about the size of a postage stamp. It's cheap, anyway... You've got a bed, a wardrobe, a table, and an ancient Aga to cook on. One lonely broadside hangs on the south wall. The door on the north wall leads to the rest of the building. A packed trunk stands in the middle of the floor.

On the table are a contract, a Hogwarts brochure, and a handful of yellow Jelly Babies.

>You read: A lot of legalese committing you to teach at Hogwarts for a full year, blah, blah, blah, painful death if you don't fulfill the terms of the contract, blah, blah, blah, then the signatures Albus Dumbledore and Alice Armstrong. Yep. That's your drunk-signature. You'd know it anywhere.

Holy shit. It says that they can erase your memories if you don't actually hold up your end of the deal. It says they can hex you. What does hexing even mean? It doesn't sound very pleasant. ...looks like you're going to have to go to Hogwarts.
action: You examine broadside
response: Sangita printed it. It's set in black type on white paper--an excerpt of poetry by Shelley.

You read: All day the wizard lady sate aloof,
Spelling out scrolls of dread antiquity,
Under the cavern's fountain-lighted roof;
Or broidering the pictured poesy
Of some high tale upon her growing woof,
Which the sweet splendour of her smiles could dye
In hues outshining heaven - and ever she
Added some grace to the wrought poesy.

Now that you know what you know about magic, having "The Witch of Atlas" on your wall is pretty damn ironic.
action: You take all from the table
response: You can't use ALL in this story. Sorry.
action: You examine the Babies
response: Jelly Babies just like any you'd buy in a shop, except they're all yellow.

The Grand High Mugglewump or whoever he is kept offering you sweets. You tried to slip them down your sleeve so you didn't have to eat any. Hopefully he didn't notice. Even if you liked Jelly Babies, you probably couldn't have kept them down--you were pretty much in shock after he appeared unexpectedly in your flat. Maybe he thought that raising your blood sugar would help? Do wizards even have blood sugar? Well, of course they have blood sugar, they're human, aren't they? ...aren't they? God, this is not a good line of thinking.
action: You take the Babies
response: Taken.
action: You examine the brochure
response: A tri-fold brochure, like you'd see in any admissions office. This one just happens to have moving pictures, including an aerial view of a craggy, hodgepodge castle that must be Hogwarts itself.

You read:

Headmaster Albus Dumbledore (Order of Merlin First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump International Confed. of Wizards)--et cetera, et cetera.

...wait a minute. That's not what the brochure said when Dumbledore gave it to you at your interview. Then, it was about Hogwarts College--not Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry--and it was all about how Hogwarts provides extensive bursaries for nearly all its students, and how they follow a unique educational programme, focusing on life skills and personal interests. And the pictures didn't move--and there certainly wasn't a picture of students flying around on broomsticks--and the section about Hogwarts's history didn't mention that most of the historical alumni still live there as ghosts.

Of course, now that you think about it, it must have been an enchanted brochure. After you accepted the job and Dumbledore broke the news about magic to you, its nature changed. That makes as much sense as anything seems to lately.
action: You check your inventory
response: You are carrying:
a Hogwarts brochure
a contract
a handful of yellow Jelly Babies
an identity card
action: You examine the identity card
response: The usual lilac-and-salmon card, with a picture of you looking awfully peaked.

You read: ALICE ARMSTRONG.
action: You examine the trunk
response: A steamer trunk that once belonged to your grandmother, covered in dingy brown canvas and lined with outstandingly ugly floral-sprigged paper. You can't see the paper, of course, because it's closed, stuffed to the brim with your clothes and knicknacks.

Headmaster Dumbledore waved around that ridiculous wand and everything just jumped in there. The Lladrós even wrapped themselves up in newsprint to make sure they wouldn't crack! That probably convinced you more than anything--parlor tricks aside, absolutely nothing could make all your stuff fit in that little trunk except magic.
action: You open the trunk
response: There's nothing on top of the trunk, and you'd better not look inside. Everything's packed, and if you opened it you probably couldn't get it closed again. Anyway, you know that the old shoe's not in there.
action: You take the trunk
response: That's too heavy for you, and anyway, why would you want to carry it?
action: You look at the wardrobe
response: Sturdy, tall, wooden; a relic of your Grandma Gigi. The inside is lined with outstandingly ugly floral-sprigged paper, twin to the trunk she also left you.
action: You open the drawer
response: You bought the bed when you broke up with Sangita. The drawer was the selling point: so functional! Now that it's about to go into storage (well, that's what the Headmaster said would happen, anyway. Maybe it's going to go into a pocket dimension or something. Who knows?) you're feeling a bit wistful. Sangita was great, and you still pretty much miss her. It's been a year, though, and you'd better get over it. Maybe it's a good thing you're starting over in Scotland. There definitely won't be anything there to remind you of her.

Nothing inside, not even dust--no old shoe.
action: You open the wardrobe
response: You can remember Grandma reading you the Narnia books; you used to hide inside the wardrobe, behind her fur coats, and pound on the back wall to see if anyone in Narnia, on the other side, could hear you. The sound of the door creaking open brings it all back: the scent of the moth balls, the feel of her papery skin, the heavy warmth of the coats around you.

No old shoe here, either. All this searching is doing exactly nothing for your headache.
action: You examine table
response: An old plastic-topped table. A bit wobbly.
action: You examine aga
response: An ancient Aga, with the classic black top and white front panels, rusty and unassuming. At least the stove is functional, and you use the oven for storage.

Actually, part of why you ended up taking this flat is the Aga. It's sentimental, really. When you were a small child, your parents' house had one just like it. Your mother never liked to cook--for her, a family meal meant going round the corner for curry take-away instead of actually sitting down in a restaurant--but whenever your grandmother came to visit, she'd make the most incredible meals on that crummy old thing. You can still practically taste everything--she did all the standards, a roast one day, bubble and squeak the next, tarts and scones and pies. Unfortunately, she never taught you any of it.
action: Look around
response: You've got a bed, a wardrobe, a table, and an ancient Aga to cook on. One lonely broadside hangs on the south wall. The door on the north wall leads to the rest of the building. A packed trunk stands in the middle of the floor.
action: You open aga
response: You open the Aga, revealing an old shoe.
action: You go to the north
response: You get the sense that it wouldn't do you any good to change your mind and go. Surely they wouldn't let a secret like, oh, the existence of magic go so easily. Best to at least see what Hogwarts is like.
action: You touch the trunk
response: Slightly rough.
action: You get the shoe
response: As soon as you touch the shoe, it feels like someone's set a giant fish-hook in your belly and started reeling you in. After a brief, stomach-churning journey, you find yourself somewhere quite different--and no longer clutching the shoe. You must have lost it on the way.

A circular room with a high, vaulted ceiling. It is filled with various magical instruments, an enormous claw-footed desk, and innumerable oddities--all of which have been pushed, higgledy-piggledy, to the walls, and some of which look much the worse for it. An elaborate perch stands forlornly next to the desk, with no bird seated on it. The walls themselves are covered in portraits of important-looking people. A spiral staircase appears to continually spin downwards--almost like an escalator--at the far end of the room.

Wait, what?
action: You look at the desk
response: A heavy, claw-footed desk with a highly polished surface. It is covered in chalked designs, strange and geometric.

On the claw-footed desk is an iron bell.

As you examine the designs, you walk around the desk--and notice a piece of purple parchment, dropped nearby. You pick it up.

You read: INGREDIENTS. To be carried by spellcaster.
The next bit is all symbols:
a dot inside a circle;
a crescent moon;
a female symbol;
a male symbol;
a 2 with a 1 intersecting its tail;
a female symbol with horns;
a curiously embellished lower-case h;
a circle bisected by a horizontal line;
a circle with a complicated, Celtic-looking pattern.

No, really, what the fuck is going on?
action: You examine the bell
response: A little iron bell with a slightly rusty clapper. It's lying on its side, as though somebody hastily dropped it.

You've got a sinking feeling you know what's going on. This is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. That was some bona fide wizardry there, only instead of being on your trunk, it was on you. Okay. All right. So the next step is to find Dumbledore. Why isn't he here?
action: You examine the portraits
response: Curious portraits elaborately framed; they are more like flat-screen televisions than oil paintings, however, as their inhabitants are animated. Most of them are sleeping, rhythmically breathing: "Dilys Derwent, headmistress 1741-1768," "Phineas Nigellus Black, headmaster 1890-1925." One is awake, reading a book: "Newton Scamander, headmaster 1930-1939." You deduce that they are former heads of Hogwarts.
action: You ask Scamander about Dumbledore
response: [Use TALK TO to interact with characters.]
action: You talk to Scamander
response: "Can you talk?" you ask the portrait.

"Of course I can, what do you think?" he replies.
action: 1
response: "Do you know where Headmaster Dumbledore went?" you ask, trying to figure out how to be polite to a portrait.

He peers at you over the top of his book. "In my day we never would have thought of such a thing as having a Muggle at Hogwarts," he says, which does not seem to be quite on topic. "Particularly not one that's as rude as you. You were late. Very late. So he thought he'd get some business done first."
action: 1
response: Ugh. Your head aches and now you feel guilty on top of it. "Business?" you ask, but before you can say anything further, yet another weird thing happens. A bizarre little man appears, floating between you and Scamander's portrait. He seems to have come from the ceiling, but--where could he have been, up there?

Before you have a chance to say anything, even to exclaim in surprise, he shouts in a singsong voice, "Oi! It's the new Muggly-girl!" He dances around--surprising, how he can manage to dance in midair--to hover with his feet just on the level of your nose. "I, of course, am Peeves the Proper, King of this castle. Bet you're wondering what's going on, aren't you? Eh-eh-eh?" The bells on his hat jingle.

"Yeah, uh, starting with -" you begin, but he cuts you off.

"There once was a lazy headmaster
who thought he could cast a spell faster.
But the corners he cut
slammed dimension doors shut
and now he's a missing spellcaster!"

"Get out of here, Peeves," Scamander says. "I'll call the Bloody Baron!" To your surprise, the threat seems to work: Peeves disappears as quickly as he came.

All right. So Dumbledore tried to cast a spell and everybody disappeared, including him. That makes... well, it makes a weird kind of sense. It seems like you have a couple of options--you could try to fix the spell, even though you're not magical, or you could try to figure out where you are and start walking home. Maybe you could find a train station or something.

Why did you ever think this whole teaching thing was a good idea?
action: You wake nigellus
response: That seems unnecessary.
action: You talk to Scamander
response: "Um, Headmaster Scamander?" you ask.

"Yes?"

This has been fun and all, but you're pretty much ready to go home now.
action: 3
response: "So, are you a person, like, behind a window? Or a real animated person?" you ask.

"Excuse me?" the Headmaster asks.

"I mean--you're not a hologram or something? You and the other paintings?"

"What in Merlin's name is a hologram?" he inquires. It occurs to you that you don't actually know how holograms are made. What's that phrase--'any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic'?
action: 1
response: "So who--or what--precisely is Peeves?"

"The castle poltergeist. I'm not entirely clear on why he didn't disappear along with all the other ghosts," Scamander muses. "Perhaps he's simply too annoying for magic to deal with."
action: 2
response: "What do you mean, disappeared?"

Scamander sighs. "You heard Peeves," he says. "The headmaster and his assistant were making complex adjustments to the castle's wards. Something related to your arrival here, as I understand it. In any case, something they did went wrong, and off they went, Merlin knows where. I believe you've already found their notes." Well, shit.

"Um. Thanks," you say, to be polite.
action: You talk to Scamander
response: "Um, Headmaster Scamander?" you ask.

"Yes?"
action: 2
response: "So how can I get back home--a train or a bus or something?"

"How should I know?" Scamander asks. "I've been a portrait since 1991, and before that I never came here if I could help it. Being the Headmaster stank."
action: 1
response: "Who's the Bloody Baron?"

"The only thing Peeves is scared of. I don't suppose the threat will work long--any minute now he'll figure out that the Baron's not around, and then he'll be insufferable."
action: 1
response: "Never mind," you say. Newt nods curtly and goes back to his book.
action: Instruments
response: I only understood the first part of that-- trying anyway.
>EXAMINE INSTRUMENTSSome of the instruments are familiar: an astrolabe, a Leyden jar, an orrery. Others are strange: complex silver contraptions that whirr and emit puffs of smoke intermittently.
action: You examine the instruments
response: Some of the instruments are familiar: an astrolabe, a Leyden jar, an orrery. Others are strange: complex silver contraptions that whirr and emit puffs of smoke intermittently.
action: You ring bell
response: Ding-a-ling-a-ling!

The sound makes you think. There was a church quite near Grandma's house and when the bells rang she'd ring a little bell of her own. It was a funny tic. She'd ring the bell at plenty of things, actually--the toad that lived in her garden and the owls that flew in to visit, various pots and pans in her kitchen, sometimes even at you. Grandma liked bells. "They scare the faeries out," she'd say, but you knew perfectly well that she was just telling you old wives" tales.
action: You take the bell
response: Taken.
action: Look around
response: A circular room with a high, vaulted ceiling. It is filled with various magical instruments, an enormous claw-footed desk, and innumerable oddities--all of which have been pushed, higgledy-piggledy, to the walls, and some of which look much the worse for it. An elaborate perch stands forlornly next to the desk, with no bird seated on it. The walls themselves are covered in portraits of important-looking people. A spiral staircase appears to continually spin downwards--almost like an escalator--at the far end of the room.
action: You examine the orrery
response: A minute model of the solar system, slowly revolving.
action: You examine desk
response: A heavy, claw-footed desk with a highly polished surface. It is covered in chalked designs, strange and geometric.
action: You examine the jar
response: A glass jar coated in foil.
action: You examine the astrolabe
response: A spherical astrolabe made of glass and chased silver.
action: You get the astrolabe
response: As you reach out for the astrolabe, your fingers slide away. Magic, most likely, to prevent curious students from destroying things they don't understand.
action: Go downwards
response: You step onto the spinning staircase and it delivers you, conveyor-belt style, to the corridor below. A gargoyle settles into place behind you, blocking the way you came.

The walls and ceiling are painted a violent shade of purple. The floor seems to have turned green with envy. A gargoyle of curious mien stands on one wall, and on another hangs a portrait of a fat lady in a pink dress. A squirming staircase--yes, really squirming, it's weird - leads down; a narrow passage leads northwest; an ordinary door leads south; and a feather-strewn archway leads northeast. Not very much like a stately castle, you have to say.

Now how are you going to get back up to the office? There's got to be some kind of mechanism for moving the gargoyle, or another way up, but you sure can't see it.
action: You look at the gargoyle
response: An ugly gargoyle made of black stone, sitting motionless as if waiting for you to say something.
action: You talk to the gargoyle
response: "Hello," you venture. "Well, I suppose I'd best let you in, eh?" he responds in a gravelly voice, and steps aside to let you pass.

A circular room with a high, vaulted ceiling. It is filled with various magical instruments, an enormous claw-footed desk, and innumerable oddities--all of which have been pushed, higgledy-piggledy, to the walls, and some of which look much the worse for it. An elaborate perch stands forlornly next to the desk, with no bird seated on it. The walls themselves are covered in portraits of important-looking people. A spiral staircase appears to continually spin downwards--almost like an escalator--at the far end of the room.
action: Go downward
response: You step onto the spinning staircase and it delivers you, conveyor-belt style, to the corridor below. A gargoyle settles into place behind you, blocking the way you came.

The walls and ceiling are painted a violent shade of purple. The floor seems to have turned green with envy. A gargoyle of curious mien stands on one wall, and on another hangs a portrait of a fat lady in a pink dress. A squirming staircase leads down; a narrow passage leads northwest; an ordinary door leads south; and a feather-strewn archway leads northeast.
action: You talk to the fat lady
response: "Hello?" you ask.

"What's the password?" the portrait asks.
action: 3
response: "How far to the next place where I can get a train? Or a taxi or a bus or anything."

She looks at you doubtfully. "Muggle transport? It'd take you days, if you're going to walk. Anyhow, the castle's sealed itself up when whatever-it-was happened, to prevent the problem from growing. You can't go anywhere."
action: 3
response: "What did you mean when you said the castle was 'sealed'?"

"The castle knows when something's wrong," she explains slowly, as though speaking to a particularly dense child. "There must be something really wrong, too, because it's decided that nobody can come in or out. The wards are all tight as can be; only a Portkey can get you in here now, and nothing can get you out till things are fixed."
action: Xyzzy
response: Nothing happens. You must really not be magical. Or maybe that only works in text adventures?
action: 1
response: "I don't know the password. Can't I come in?"

"No," she says. "No admittance without it, even in time of crisis."
action: 1
response: "Um, the password is abracadabra?"

"Sorry," she says.
action: 2
response: "Do you have any idea where everybody went?"

"They just disappeared," she says. "How would I know? Newt Scamander up in the Headmaster's office probably saw it. Deep sorcery, no doubt."
action: 2
response: "What precisely does 'deep sorcery'" mean?"

The fat lady looks you up and down. "Are you, by chance, a Muggle?" she asks.
action: 2
response: "What is a Muggle?" you ask.

"Well, you must be one then. That's bad luck. You can't do magic, is what a Muggle is. Sometimes a Muggle can reverse a spell, but who knows if you can manage this one?" she asks, apparently rhetorically. "You'll have to look into it. Try the library."
action: 1
response: "Open sesame?" "No."
action: 1
response: "Please?" "No."
action: 1
response: "Pretty pretty please?" "No."
action: 1
response: "Pretty please with a cherry on top?" "No!"
action: You examine squirming
response: A staircase between the fourth and fifth floors.
action: Look around
response: The walls and ceiling are painted a violent shade of purple. The floor seems to have turned green with envy. A gargoyle of curious mien stands on one wall, and on another hangs a portrait of a fat lady in a pink dress. A squirming staircase leads down; a narrow passage leads northwest; an ordinary door leads south; and a feather-strewn archway leads northeast.
action: You go to the northeast
response: You must be in the top of a tall tower; the room is circular, cold, and echoing. Owls swoop in and out of the many unglassed windows. Four perches jut from the walls, high above your head, in each cardinal direction. An owl-parrot seems to have made himself a nest of feathers on the floor. You can also head southwest through a feather-strewn archway. Lots of feathers all over. Wow. Apparently wizards have a thing for birds.

You haven't seen an owl since Grandma died--her house was always ground zero for owls. Day or night, there were always one or two around. She even kept a few mice on hand to feed them, like a normal person would keep birdseed. Kind of bloodthirsty, for an old lady, now that you think about it.

As you enter, the owl-parrot turns his enormous head to look at you. "Awk. Here for the medallion?" he asks. "Ah--yes?" you respond. "CALL the owls," he says. "Owls are very polite. Owls like names. Four pieces. Four owls. Four names. Four names! CALL the names, CALL the owls!"
action: You call the alex
response: Nothing happens; you must have got something wrong.
action: You talk tthe owl-parrot
response: "Hello, kakapo?" you inquire. He looks up expectantly. (He seems so intelligent that it's hard not to address him like a person.)
action: 1
response: "First owl!" the owl-parrot squawks in his birdy little voice. "500 begins it. 500 ends it. 5 in the middle is seen. First of all figures and first of all letters take their stations between." He cocks his head at you, as if judging you."
action: You call David
response: An elf owl flutters through one of the lowest windows. It's David, though you didn't expect he'd be so small. He's flying so low because the red piece of wood he carries weighs him down; he lands on your hands for a moment, sides heaving with the effort, before leaving you the piece of wood and flying up to the easternmost perch.
action: You examine the red wood
response: An intricately carved little piece of wood, painted red.
action: 2
response: "Third owl. One thousand one times two. Enigmatic!" "How did a kakapo learn the word 'enigmatic'?" you ask. He doesn't deign to answer.
action: You call Mimi
response: An eagle owl flies in through one of the high windows; this must be Mimi. She regards you briefly, then offers you a black piece of wood. When you take it, she flies up to the western perch.
action: You examine the black wood
response: An intricately carved little piece of wood, painted black.
action: 3
response: You try to engage the owl-parrot in conversation, thinking that perhaps he'll let something slip about the names. "How does it feel to be so special? A talking kakapo and all," you say. But he seems to take it as a reflection on his species' endangered status, and he huffs and turns away. Whoops.
action: You talk to the parrot
response: "Hello, kakapo?" you inquire. He looks up expectantly.
action: 1
response: "Second owl!" he proclaims. "Cut off her head, she's male. Cut off her tail, she's a fruit. Cut off both, she's part of you." He makes a strange, deep sort of noise in his throat, then remarks, "She's really an owl, though."
action: You call Pearl
response: A Lapland owl seems to come out of nowhere and plops herself down, ungracefully, on your shoulder. "Pearl?" you ask. She turns her head and responds "tuwhit-tuwhoo"--it sounds encouraging. She delicately offers you a yellow piece of wood, using one claw; when you take it, she flies off to sit on the south perch.
action: 1
response: You could swear the bird's smiling at you. "A villain with a common heart. Ten is his end, but he's fifty to start." He ruffles his feathers. "No cheating!"
action: You call Lex
response: A spotted owl lands on the sill of one of the windows, then--with great dignity--glides over to the north perch. As he goes, he drops a white piece of wood into your waiting hands. Well, he doesn't look a lot like Lex Luthor, but this is undoubtedly Lex.

You weigh the four pieces of wood in your hands for a moment--and then it strikes you. Fitting them together just so, you make a little wooden medallion--a circle around some Celtic knotwork. It's the same shape as one of the symbols in Dumbledore's office.
action: You call Lex
response: Lex has already alit. You don't need to shout.
action: You talk tthe owl-parrot
response: He's perfectly happy ignoring you, sitting on his nest. He apparently feels that he's done his job.
action: Go southwest
response: The walls and ceiling are painted a violent shade of purple. The floor seems to have turned green with envy. A gargoyle of curious mien stands on one wall, and on another hangs a portrait of a fat lady in a pink dress. A squirming staircase leads down; a narrow passage leads northwest; an ordinary door leads south; and a feather-strewn archway leads northeast.
action: You go to the northwest
response: An extremely tiny landing with a brass plaque affixed to the low ceiling. A narrow passageway leads southeast, and a silver ladder leads up through a trapdoor.
action: You look at the plaque
response: A very shiny plaque.

You read: SIBYLL TRELAWNEY, DIVINATION TEACHER.
action: You examine the ladder
response: A slight silver ladder leading down through a trapdoor.
action: You go upward
response: This room doesn't look like a classroom at all; it's more like an unholy cross between an old-fashioned tea-shop and someone's attic. The air is stiflingly warm and scented with a heavy, sickening perfume. Various items necessary for divination are fitted into nooks in the circular walls. One high shelf runs around the walls, about a foot and a half from the ceiling. A fat little pouf and an ugly chintz armchair nestle around a low table. A silver ladder leads down.

On the high shelf are a tourmaline ball and a china doll.
action: You examine the chair
response: Professor Trelawney must never have heard that the 1980s were over. The armchair is covered in some of the ugliest floral patterned cloth you can possibly imagine. Its dimensions are off, too--much too tall and narrow.
action: You look under cloth
response: Most IF separates space into a series of locations, each containing a set of objects. If you can see an object, you can usually interact with it without worrying about positioning. Try a command like EXAMINE TOURMALINE BALL for a closer look, LOOK to get a new description of this location, or a compass direction like (for example) DOWN or D to move to a different location.
action: You examine the BALL
response: A perfectly round ball of schorl tourmaline. It is blue-black, and you can imagine a wizard scrying in it, drawing images up from its depths. It must be the one you're looking for.

The china doll stirs to life and pulls the ball towards her body with one perfectly molded hand. She seems protective of it.
action: You examine doll
response: A large doll, her body made of cloth and her head and shoulders of glazed porcelain. She's clothed in a lovely white dress covered in eyelet lace. As you examine her delicate patent leather shoes, she seems to notice that you're staring. She turns to face you--moving her whole body, as her head cannot turn on her neck. She stares back at you, her immobile face pure and blank, for a long moment. Then she returns to her original posture.
action: You talk to Doll
response: You feel a little silly addressing a children's toy, but then, twenty-four hours ago you thought magic was all bullshit. "Excuse me, Doll," you begin. She seems to perk up. "Could you possibly throw me that tourmaline ball that you've got there? I really need it."

You've clearly piqued the doll's interest; she awkwardly examines the ball, then inches towards the edge of the shelf and peers over. It must seem very far, even though she is a large doll. She begins to writhe. It takes you a moment to realise that she's trying to shake her head "no." To be fair, if you were made of porcelain, you'd probably be sensitive about the risk of smashing too.
action: You look in the BALL
response: The tourmaline ball is too high to reach.
action: You take the ladder
response: That's fixed in place.
action: You examine the pouf
response: The pouf is made of velvet. It seems to be slowly cycling through different shades of red: amaranth, auburn, burgundy, carmine, carnelian, cerise, chestnut, coral, crimson, fuschia, magenta, maroon, mauve, raspberry, rose, ruby, rufous, rust, scarlet, sinopia, and vermilion. It looks squashy and rather uncomfortable.
action: You get the pouf
response: That's too heavy to lift without magic.
action: You talk to Doll
response: "Are you ready to help me now?" you ask. No immediate reply.
action: You stand on the table
response: You get onto the low table.
action: You get the BALL
response: The tourmaline ball is too high to reach.
action: You get off
response: You get off the low table.

This room doesn't look like a classroom at all; it's more like an unholy cross between an old-fashioned tea-shop and someone's attic. The air is stiflingly warm and scented with a heavy, sickening perfume. Various items necessary for divination are fitted into nooks in the circular walls. One high shelf runs around the walls, about a foot and a half from the ceiling. A fat little pouf and an ugly chintz armchair nestle around a low table. A silver ladder leads down.

On the high shelf are a tourmaline ball and a china doll.
action: You look at the nooks
response: Weird and wonderful things, some familiar and others strange, all incomprehensible to you.
action: You search the nooks
response: SEARCH doesn't work that way. You can SEARCH DESK, for instance-but you can't SEARCH ROOM, because that would ruin the fun of exploration.
action: You examine the shelf
response: An extremely high shelf of unpainted wood.

On the high shelf are a tourmaline ball and a china doll.
action: You move the chair
response: It is fixed in place.
action: Go downward
response: An extremely tiny landing with a brass plaque affixed to the low ceiling. A narrow passageway leads southeast, and a silver ladder leads up through a trapdoor.
action: You go to the south-east
response: The walls and ceiling are painted a violent shade of purple. The floor seems to have turned green with envy. A gargoyle of curious mien stands on one wall, and on another hangs a portrait of a fat lady in a pink dress. A squirming staircase leads down; a narrow passage leads northwest; an ordinary door leads south; and a feather-strewn archway leads northeast.
action: Go south
response: (first opening the ordinary door)
It won't budge.
action: You examine the door
response: An ordinary, wood-and-iron door, appropriate to a castle. It says PREFECTS ONLY on it in large letters. You can hear splish-splashing coming from the other side. There must be a fountain in there, or maybe a bathroom.
action: You knock on the door
response: The ordinary door echoes hollowly.
action: You talk to the door
response: The ordinary door doesn't respond. Must not be sentient.
action: Go downwards
response: The staircase undulates beneath your feet as you descend.

A short corridor, the walls and floor made entirely of granite. Centuries of use have worn a smooth path down the middle. Staircases lead down and up. A plain door leads south, and the hall ends in what looks like a library to the west.
action: You go west
response: A large room with a vaulted ceiling and wood-paneled walls. Bookcases fill most of the space; one glass-fronted bookcase stands at the back of the room. The entrance leads eastward to the corridor.
action: You examine the bookcase
response: While most of the bookcases don't have doors, one does. Its door is frosted glass, and it stands ever so slightly ajar. It is engraved with a single word: RESTRICTED.
action: You open the bookcase
response: You open the glass-fronted bookcase, revealing a book of alchemy and a book of herbs.
action: You get book
response: Which do you mean, the book of alchemy or the book of herbs?
action: You get alchemy
response: Taken.
action: You read the alchemy
response: You read: The alchemists have used many symbols to encode their meanings. The following is a record of the most commonly-used.

a dot inside a circle, representing gold or Sol;
a crescent moon, representing silver or Luna;
a female symbol, representing copper or Venus;
a male symbol, representing iron or Mars;
a 2 with a 1 intersecting its tail, representing tin or Jupiter;
a female symbol with horns, representing quicksilver or Mercury;
a curiously embellished lower-case h, representing lead or Saturn;
a female symbol with a triangle instead of a circle for its head, representing sulfur, the connection between the high and low;
a circle bisected by a horizontal line, representing salt--that is, base matter of any kind, including stones and crystals;
a triangle with several diagonal lines in it, representing plant matter;
a triangle pointing up, representing fire;
a triangle pointing down, representing water;
a triangle pointing down with its bottom point intersected by a horizontal line, representing earth;
a triangle pointing up with its top point intersected by a horizontal line, representing air;
an upside-down female symbol, representing antimony;
a circle with a half-circle atop it, representing bismuth;
a misshapen 3, representing cinnabar.
action: You read HERBS
response: You read: A table of contents: acacia, agaric, alder, aloe vera, Angel's Trumpet, arnica, ash, Abyssinian shrivelfig, aconite, Alihotsy, asphodel, baneberry, beech, belladonna, bergamot, black walnut, blackthorn, bloodroot, boom berry, bubotuber, camomile, catnip, cedar, centaury, Chinese chomping cabbage, Cobra Lily, cypress, daisy, dandelion, Devil's Snare, dirigible plum, dittany, ebony, elm, Fanged Geranium, flitterbloom, floo, Flutterby bush, fluxweed, foxglove, gillyweed, ginger, goosegrass, Gurdyroot, hawthorn, hazel, hellebore, henbane, holly, honking daffodil, horehound, hornbeam, knotgrass, lovage, mahogany, mallowsweet, Mandragora, maple, Mimbulus Mimbletonia, monkshood, moly, nettle, oak, peppermint, plangentine, privet, puffapod, pumpkin, rosewood, rowan, rue, sage, Screechsnap, scurvy-grass, silver lime, Snargaluff, Snarfalump, sneezewort, snowdrop, sopophorous bean, sycamore, valerian, Venomous Tentacula, walnut, Whomping Willow, wolfsbane, wormwood, yarrow, yew.

You could probably LOOK UP one of the topics IN THE BOOK OF HERBS.
action: You look up the catnip in HERBS
response: Potions involving catnip are widely used in the training and control of Kneazles, particularly in combination with camomile, which serves as a further sedative.
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying:
a book of herbs
a book of alchemy
a medallion
an iron bell
a piece of purple parchment
a Hogwarts brochure
a contract
a handful of yellow Jelly Babies
an identity card
action: You examine the purple parchment
response: A piece of purple parchment with some strange scribbles on it.

You read: INGREDIENTS. To be carried by spellcaster.

gold;
silver;
copper;
iron;
tin;
quicksilver;
lead;
base matter;
eternity.
action: Look around
response: A large room with a vaulted ceiling and wood-paneled walls. Bookcases fill most of the space; one glass-fronted bookcase stands at the back of the room. The entrance leads eastward to the corridor.
action: Go east
response: A short corridor, the walls and floor made entirely of granite. Centuries of use have worn a smooth path down the middle. Staircases lead down and up. A plain door leads south, and the hall ends in what looks like a library to the west.
action: You go to the south
response: (first opening the plain door)

An empty, unused classroom, with only one feature: the Mirror of Erised. A plain door leads north to the corridor.
action: You look at Mirror
response: A tall freestanding mirror, somewhat clouded with age. Above the mirror, engraved in its wooden frame, are the words "Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi."

You see not your face, but someone else's. It's Sangita.
action: You examine Sangita
response: She's just a reflection.
action: Kiss sangita
response: You can only do that to something animate.
action: You touch Mirror
response: You raise a hand to the mirror's surface. Sangita does not raise her hand in answer. You reach out to touch her face and find yourself surprised, and disappointed, when your hand meets cold glass instead of warm girl.
action: You talk to Sangita
response: "Sangita-" you begin. She looks at you unblinkingly. "Are you really there? Is this a magic mirror?" Then you hear yourself. "Oh, Jesus, of course it's a magic mirror, but is it that kind? Are you real?" She doesn't answer. Evidently not.
action: Go down
response: As you step on it, the staircase turns into a chute. You rocket down it. Exhilarating!

A long, narrow room, lined with suits of armour on either side. Staircases lead down and up, and you're beginning to catch on: if you go down, something weird is going to happen. Westward you can see the gallery open out into a trophy room.

You can see a scribbled note here.
action: You read it
response: You read: This week's password: Pig snout.

Someone must be a real prat. Who would write a password down? An eleven-year-old, you suppose.
action: You examine the armour
response: Suits of armour from every historical period and every country. Well, from every country that ever had suits of armour, anyway.
action: You look in the armour
response: SEARCH doesn't work that way. You can SEARCH DESK, for instance-but you can't SEARCH ROOM, because that would ruin the fun of exploration.
action: You wear suit
response: They're hardly portable.
action: Go west
response: The space is dominated by a huge trophy case, which butts directly up against a pedestal holding an enormous brass cup. It's immaculate--no dust anywhere. To the east, suits of armor keep watch in their gallery. Since the portraits are alive here, maybe the suits of armor really are keeping watch. That's a creepy thought.

You can see a tin cup and a long-handled scrub-brush here.
action: You examine the cup
response: (the tin cup)
A small, battered tin cup, with nothing to recommend it. It is wedged far back between the trophy case and the pedestal.
action: You examine the brush
response: A standard looking sort of scrub-brush. It doesn't make much sense that a wizard would need to clean with normal equipment, but then, maybe the students get assigned to do it for detention or something.
action: You take the tin cup with the brush
response: Just type TAKE THE TIN CUP; you'll automatically use any means necessary to get it.
action: You take the tin cup
response: You try to hook the cup's handle with the brush's handle, but it's too short.
action: You look at the brass cup
response: An enormous cup, engraved with what seems to be a record of which Houses have won it.

You read: ...1985-1986: Slytherin. 1986-1987: Slytherin. 1987-1988: Slytherin. 1988-1989: Slytherin. 1989-1990: Slytherin. 1990-1991: Slytherin. 1991-1992: Gryffindor. 1992-1993: Gryffindor.
action: Wave brush
response: You look ridiculous waving the long-handled scrub-brush.
action: You examine case
response: A crystal case holding various awards. They're almost boring, given that this is a magical school--the Medal for Magical Merit, as an example, or a series of shields engraved with the words "For Special Services to the School," most recently awarded to Messrs. Harry Potter & Ronald Weasley. You'd expect them to be more interesting. Awards for dragon-slaying or something.
action: You examine Medal
response: >X MEDALLION
A little wooden medallion, black and white and red and yellow, in the shape of a circle with Celtic knotwork within.
action: You get the brass cup
response: That's fixed in place.
action: You go to the east
response: A long, narrow room, lined with suits of armour on either side. Staircases lead down and up. Westward you can see the gallery open out into a trophy room.
action: Go upwards
response: As you step on it, the staircase wiggles as if considering something, then subsides. You climb it without incident.

A short corridor, the walls and floor made entirely of granite. Centuries of use have worn a smooth path down the middle. Staircases lead down and up. A plain door leads south, and the hall ends in what looks like a library to the west.
action: Go upwards
response: The staircase writhes beneath your feet as you climb up.

The walls and ceiling are painted a violent shade of purple. The floor seems to have turned green with envy. A gargoyle of curious mien stands on one wall, and on another hangs a portrait of a fat lady in a pink dress. A squirming staircase leads down; a narrow passage leads northwest; an ordinary door leads south; and a feather-strewn archway leads northeast.
action: You talk to the fat lady
response: "Pig snout," you say.

"Welcome," the fat lady says graciously. Her portrait swings open, letting you into Gryffindor Tower.

A circular room, its stone walls hung with sumptuous tapestries. It is dominated by a large fireplace; a banner, clearly student-made, hangs above the fireplace. Light from a rose window illuminates a message board. You can go northeast through the back side of the picture-frame, too. Sangita would make a dirty joke about rear entry if she were here.
action: Examine banner
response: A banner, at least six feet long, its colors magically shifting from red to gold to yellow to orange and back again; it says GO GO GRYFFINDOR!!!
action: You look at the message board
response: About three feet wide, covered in cork and flyers. Three stand out: one's about a lost toad, one's about the glee club, and one appears to be a love note.
action: You read the toad
response: You read: LOST TOAD. Answers to Trevor. REWARD. Speak with Neville Longbottom.
action: You read the glee
response: You read: Glee club ~ meets Weds 5pm ~ forget the school song ~ sing in HARMONY!!!!!
action: You read the love note
response: You read: Dearest P.W.,

It continues on in similar fashion, signed P.C., but with a postscript added in pencil in a rather different hand:

GUESS WHO THIS WAS TO AND FROM? She can't be a very smart Ravenclaw if she thought she could trust us!!! Percy's in LOVE!!! FWGW
action: You examine fireplace
response: A large, unlit fireplace with a heavy, carved-wood mantelpiece. Something shiny glints from atop the mantel.
action: You look at shiny
response: A badge of yellow and red enamel, shined to within an inch of its life, emblazoned with a P for PREFECT.
action: You get the badge
response: You feel a little guilty for borrowing someone's badge, but you might need it, even if you don't know why yet. You pin it onto your shirt to make sure you don't lose it.
action: You look at window
response: A huge, circular window with many panes of thick, wavy glass. Through it you can catch glimpses of the castle grounds.
action: Look around
response: A circular room, its stone walls hung with sumptuous tapestries. It is dominated by a large fireplace; a banner, clearly student-made, hangs above the fireplace. Light from a rose window illuminates a message board. You can go northeast through the back side of the picture-frame, too.
action: You get glee
response: You're not some kind of kleptomaniac. You only plan on taking things you really need to fix this situation.
action: You examine the tapestries
response: Tapestries from floor to ceiling, depicting shifting and ever-changing scenes of battle and bravery.
action: You move them
response: The stories on them are fascinating, but they're just stories.
action: You go northeast
response: The Fat Lady obligingly swings her frame forward and lets you out into the corridor.

The walls and ceiling are painted a violent shade of purple. The floor seems to have turned green with envy. A gargoyle of curious mien stands on one wall, and on another hangs a portrait of a fat lady in a pink dress. A squirming staircase leads down; a narrow passage leads northwest; an ordinary door leads south; and a feather-strewn archway leads northeast.
action: You go south
response: (first opening the ordinary door)

A small room with a high ceiling. All the walls are white marble, and it is dominated by a huge sunken tub. A large portrait of a mermaid hangs on one wall, a chandelier softly lights the room, and some towels and a purple bottle lie discarded in a corner. A door leads north to the purple corridor.

You can see a ciphered book here.
action: You get BOOK
response: (the ciphered book)
action: You read it
response: You read: Jura nyy gur cebcre vaterqvragf ner va cynpr hcba gur qvntenz, fgnaq arne vg naq hggre gur jbeq Erqvgr. Guvf vf zreryl gur gevttre sbe gur zntvpf; rira n Zhttyr znl qb vg; fb vg vf jvfr gb frg bgure cerpnhgvbaf vs bar qbrf abg jvfu gb erghea sebz bar'f qvzrafvbany geniry.
action: You look at the mermaid
response: A saucy mermaid, splashing around; she must have been the one making all the noise.
action: You talk to the mermaid
response: You wink at the mermaid. She winks back.
action: You look at the tub
response: An enormous sunken tub, made of the same white marble as the rest of the room. It is surrounded by hundreds of gold-and-jewel taps; closest to you are an amethyst tap, a sapphire tap, and a pearl tap.
action: You get amethyst tap
response: That's hardly portable.
action: You turn the amethyst tap
response: You open the amethyst tap, and heavily perfumed purple clouds pour out of it. They make you sneeze, so you turn it off again; as soon as you do, they dissipate.
action: You turn the sapphire
response: You open the sapphire tap, and along with water, it gushes pink and blue bubbles the size of footballs. They smell faintly of candyfloss. Sitting back on your heels, you turn it off again and let the bath drain.
action: You turn Pearl
response: You open the pearl tap, and out pours thick white foam. It looks like it could support your weight, if you cared to try it. Probably not the best idea, though; you'd ruin your clothes. Regretfully, you turn it off again. The foam slowly melts.
action: Look around
response: A small room with a high ceiling. All the walls are white marble, and it is dominated by a huge sunken tub. A large portrait of a mermaid hangs on one wall, a chandelier softly lights the room, and some towels and a purple bottle lie discarded in a corner. A door leads north to the purple corridor.
action: You look at the bottle
response: A little purple glass bottle with a garish yellow label: SLEEKEAZY'S TANGLE TAMER POTION.

God. That's the conditioner Sangita used, and now you're thinking about Sangita's hair, long and black and smelling of camomile, feathered out in the tub or on a pillow.
action: You examine the towels
response: Fluffy white towels, tossed carelessly in a corner.

Actually, now that you're thinking about it, wasn't Sangita's conditioner called "Sleek & Easy," not "Sleekeazy's"? The label was just the same style, though.
action: You examine the chandelier
response: A splendid candle-filled chandelier, softly lighting the room.
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying:
a ciphered book
a prefect's badge (being worn)
a long-handled scrub-brush
a scribbled note
a book of herbs
a book of alchemy
a medallion
an iron bell
a piece of purple parchment
a Hogwarts brochure
a contract
a handful of yellow Jelly Babies
an identity card
action: You examine bottle
response: A little purple glass bottle with a garish yellow label: SLEEKEAZY'S TANGLE TAMER POTION.
action: You eat the Jelly Babies
response: No way. You really hate Jelly Babies.

>No way. You really hate Jelly Babies.
action: Look around
response: A small room with a high ceiling. All the walls are white marble, and it is dominated by a huge sunken tub. A large portrait of a mermaid hangs on one wall, a chandelier softly lights the room, and some towels and a purple bottle lie discarded in a corner. A door leads north to the purple corridor.
action: Go down
response: The staircase writhes beneath your feet as you descend.

A short corridor, the walls and floor made entirely of granite. Centuries of use have worn a smooth path down the middle. Staircases lead down and up. A plain door leads south, and the hall ends in what looks like a library to the west.
action: Go downwards
response: As you step on it, the staircase turns into a chute. You feel like a little kid again as you slide on down.

A long, narrow room, lined with suits of armour on either side. Staircases lead down and up. Westward you can see the gallery open out into a trophy room.
action: Go downwards
response: The staircase swivels dizzyingly as you descend.

A long corridor with an extremely high, vaulted ceiling. It gives the impression of tall trees spreading into branches over your head, although it's all just the same grey stone. Staircases lead down and up. A strange red plastic door leads north, and a black door leads west. To the south, the corridor opens out into the Hospital Wing.
action: You read the alchemy
response: You read: The alchemists have used many symbols to encode their meanings. The following is a record of the most commonly-used.

a dot inside a circle, representing gold or Sol;
a crescent moon, representing silver or Luna;
a female symbol, representing copper or Venus;
a male symbol, representing iron or Mars;
a 2 with a 1 intersecting its tail, representing tin or Jupiter;
a female symbol with horns, representing quicksilver or Mercury;
a curiously embellished lower-case h, representing lead or Saturn;
a female symbol with a triangle instead of a circle for its head, representing sulfur, the connection between the high and low;
a circle bisected by a horizontal line, representing salt--that is, base matter of any kind, including stones and crystals;
a triangle with several diagonal lines in it, representing plant matter;
a triangle pointing up, representing fire;
a triangle pointing down, representing water;
a triangle pointing down with its bottom point intersected by a horizontal line, representing earth;
a triangle pointing up with its top point intersected by a horizontal line, representing air;
an upside-down female symbol, representing antimony;
a circle with a half-circle atop it, representing bismuth;
a misshapen 3, representing cinnabar.
action: You look at the plastic door
response: It appears to be made of tough plastic, like toys for very small children, and it is fire-engine red.
action: You open it
response: You open the plastic door.
action: You examine the black door
response: Black-painted. Slightly smudged with chalk.
action: You go north
response: So this is going to be your classroom, is it? Not too posh. It's a rather small room, dominated by an oak table. Muggle Studies must not be a popular class; only ten or twelve students could fit in here, seminar-style. A poster illustrating how a light bulb works adorns the wall, and a bookcase stands in a corner. The door out is to the south.
action: Examine poster
response: It seems to get some fundamental things wrong. As far as you know, there are not any magical spirits of "ekeltricity" living in light bulbs. Or are there?
action: You examine the bookcase
response: Oak, matching the table.

In the oak bookcase are a blue book and a cloth book.
action: You get blue BOOK
response: Taken.
action: You read it
response: You read: The internet is for porn, blah blah blah, internet users often use a simple cipher known as "rot13" to keep their messages initially unreadable, blah blah blah, some wizards find it useful too, blah blah blah. Nothing shocking.
action: You read it
response: You read: The back cover informs you: This book covers all sorts of magical and Muggle means to enter homes and burgle businesses, from the familiar--combination locks--to the foreign--security systems running on ekeltricity. The book falls open to a page describing how one may turn a dial and naturally hear tumblers fall into place, allowing a combination lock to be successfully opened without any prior knowledge of the combination, or any use of magical power.
action: You examine table
response: Simple, heavy, and serviceable, worn with many years of use.
action: You go to the south
response: A long corridor with an extremely high, vaulted ceiling. It gives the impression of tall trees spreading into branches over your head, although it's all just the same grey stone. Staircases lead down and up. A strange red plastic door leads north, and a black door leads west. To the south, the corridor opens out into the Hospital Wing.
action: You examine the black door
response: Black-painted. Slightly smudged with chalk.
action: You go to the west
response: (first opening the black door)

A large classroom; the defining feature is an enormous skeleton hung from the ceiling, spotlit, in the centre of the room. The professor's desk, at the front of the room, also looks interesting. A black door is on the east wall.
action: You examine skeleton
response: A very old skeleton of a horse--with wings. It's spotlighted by a Fresnel lantern. One of its hooves gleams curiously in the light.
action: You examine the hoof
response: Now, why would that be? Among the old ivory bones and black hooves of the skeleton shines a single piece of metal: one hoof made of silver. As you stand on tiptoe to get a better look, the skeleton moves and twists away from you. Not as dead as it looks!
action: You talk to the skeleton
response: "Can you understand me?" you ask. "You're a skeleton. Surely that's impossible, even with magic?" The huge creature waggles his wingtips at you. He evidently can hear you.
action: You talk to the skeleton
response: You ask the skeleton for his silver hoof in as many ways as you can: cajoling, threatening, pleading. Nothing seems to work. He tosses his noble skull and somehow manages to snort (despite his obvious lack of lungs), and drums his hooves in the air as though to urge you away.
action: You give the jelly beans to the skeleton
response: The skeleton turns its skull away. Apparently it isn't interested.
action: You look at the lantern
response: A Fresnel lantern, glowing, but with no obvious source of power. Looks almost steampunk.
action: You take it
response: The Fresnel lantern is too high to reach.
action: Brush skeleton
response: What do you want to brush the thestral skeleton with?
action: Brush
response: What do you want to brush?
action: You examine the brush
response: A standard looking sort of scrub-brush.
action: Brush skeleton witscrub-brush
response: The skeleton twists nimbly out of your reach. That's not difficult; you're pretty short.
action: You examine the desk
response: A low, much-embellished chestnut affair, with a single wide drawer. It's kept very neat.
action: You open the drawer
response: You open the wide drawer, revealing a journal.
action: Examine journal
response: A small journal bound in soft leather, with the initials R J L on the cover. It appears to be a record of classroom affairs--detentions given, supplies used--but there's a section about the skeleton.

You read: The new thestral skeleton I purchased for the classroom appears to be animate. I had not realized until this morning, but he seems to have merely been scoping out his new situation, waiting to make himself known. He has more or less managed to communicate to me that he would like his silky black mane back; he seems to be rather vain, and quite proud of the silver that I used to replace his split hoof. (Thank heavens that part of the curse is a Muggle myth; not being able to handle Sickles would be quite frustrating.) As a wig would spoil the effect of the skeleton, and the beast is quite rude about it, I'm apt to let him stew in his own juices until he becomes more polite.
action: Go east
response: A long corridor with an extremely high, vaulted ceiling. It gives the impression of tall trees spreading into branches over your head, although it's all just the same grey stone. Staircases lead down and up. A strange red plastic door leads north, and a black door leads west. To the south, the corridor opens out into the Hospital Wing.
action: You go south
response: A room with a high ceiling and white walls, sterile and institutional. Iron-framed beds stand in rows, and an enormous medicine cabinet dominates the far wall. To the north is a gothic-arched corridor.
action: You examine the medicine cabinet
response: A large cabinet made of chestnut with a thick glass front. A built-in combination lock is part of the frame.

In the medicine cabinet are a vial of mercury and a bottle of Pepper-Up Potion.
action: You get all
response: You can't use ALL in this story. Sorry.
action: You examine the lock
response: A large, gaudy combination lock. Instead of numbers, the dial shows moon phases, inlaid with mother-of-pearl. You can turn it right or left. An engraved arrow points to the first quarter moon.
action: You listen to the lock
response: The hospital wing's so quiet, it will be easy to hear tumblers falling when you TURN the lock RIGHT and LEFT.
action: You turn the lock right
response: You turn the dial of the moon lock right; now the arrow points to waxing crescent moon.
action: You turn the lock right
response: You turn the dial of the moon lock right; now the arrow points to new moon.
You hear a soft click of tumblers falling into place.
action: You turn lock left
response: You turn the dial of the moon lock left; now the arrow points to waxing crescent moon.
action: You turn lock left
response: You turn the dial of the moon lock left; now the arrow points to first quarter moon.
action: You turn lock left
response: You turn the dial of the moon lock left; now the arrow points to waxing gibbous moon.
You hear a soft click of tumblers falling into place.
action: You turn the lock right
response: You turn the dial of the moon lock right; now the arrow points to first quarter moon.
action: You turn the lock right
response: You turn the dial of the moon lock right; now the arrow points to waxing crescent moon.
You hear a soft click of tumblers falling into place, and the medicine cabinet's door springs open.
action: You look in the cabinet
response: In the medicine cabinet are a vial of mercury and a bottle of Pepper-Up Potion.
action: You get the Mercury
response: Taken.

The mercury in the vial is silvery. Sangita had a chemistry kit with mercury in it. Kind of strange, since she never was any use helping you with science curricula. "I use it to make inks for the printshop," she said when you moved in together, but you never saw her do it, and anyway, can't you buy printer's ink? And wouldn't she be doing it at work?
action: You look at Potion
response: A red glass bottle labeled "Pepper-Up Potion" in a spidery hand.
action: You examine the beds
response: Uncomfortable looking.
action: You look at Mercury
response: A crystal vial containing a silvery liquid.
action: You check what you're carrying
response: You are carrying:
a vial of mercury
a cloth book
a blue book
a ciphered book
a prefect's badge (being worn)
a long-handled scrub-brush
a scribbled note
a book of herbs
a book of alchemy
a medallion
an iron bell
a piece of purple parchment
a Hogwarts brochure
a contract
a handful of yellow Jelly Babies
an identity card
action: You descend
response: You sweep regally down the staircase.

A capacious hall, lit with torches. There's not much here, though, other than inspiring architecture. Which, honestly, you could see pretty easily in non-magical London whenever you wanted to. An enormous sweeping staircase leads up, and a smaller staircase leads down. A rough door leads west, and the Great Hall is through a stone archway to the east.
action: You go to the east
response: An enormous, long room with a flagstone floor, filled with four equally enormous tables. The linens on each table are of different colors: red, blue, yellow, and green. A fifth table with a large centrepiece in the middle - the head table - stands on a dais, perpendicular to the others. The entrance hall is to the west.
action: You look at the centrepiece
response: A centrepiece of sunflowers, with a little golden toad nestled in the middle.
action: You examine the TOAD
response: A little statue of a toad. It's heavy: pure gold.
action: You take the TOAD
response: Taken.

When you look at it closely, the little toad statue kind of looks like Buford, Grandma's old pet. No matter how many owls were around, they never seemed to eat Buford. Grandma really liked the old boy--he lived in the mud of the garden and he'd croak at you whenever you got too close. She always told you he could talk and he was telling you to back off. He wasn't made of gold, of course.
action: You talk to the toad
response: The golden toad doesn't respond. Must not be sentient.
action: You examine the head table
response: A table on a dais, above the others. A large centrepiece is the only thing on it.
action: You examine the dais
response: The floor, including a dais at one end of the room, is made of flagstones.
action: You examine the flagstones
response: The floor, including a dais at one end of the room, is made of flagstones.

Wandering the castle alone is lonely, and you find yourself remembering things that you'd rather not--whisked away to a wholly different realm of memory.

Your familiar flat, back in London, but with more things in it. It's a year ago. Sangita's still here; she's packing her things to leave you. Her suitcase and clothes are laid out on her big brass bed, the one you used to share, the one she took with her when she left. You're in the midst of a conversation--a painful one, too.
action: You examine Sangita
response: As beautiful as ever.
action: You talk to Sangita
response: "I just don't understand," you say. "You have these incredible mood swings, and you won't tell me what the problem really is. You have to tell me!"

"Look, I don't want to talk about this right now," she says. "We just aren't as close as you think. We shouldn't have moved in together. That's all."
action: 2
response: "Has living together really been so bad?"

"No," she says, and for the first time her façade of determination seems to crack.
action: 2
response: "Do you still love me?" you ask. "No," she says, but she doesn't sound so sure.

Too bad you can't change anything that happened.

An enormous, long room with a flagstone floor, filled with four equally enormous tables. The linens on each table are of different colors: red, blue, yellow, and green. A fifth table with a large centrepiece in the middle - the head table - stands on a dais, perpendicular to the others. The entrance hall is to the west.
action: You examine the red table
response: A table with red and yellow linens.
action: You examine the blue table
response: A table with blue and brown linens.
action: You examine yellow table
response: A table with yellow and black linens.
action: You examine the green table
response: A table with green and grey linens.
action: You check what you're carrying
response: You are carrying:
a prefect's badge (being worn)
a golden toad
a vial of mercury
a cloth book
a blue book
a long-handled scrub-brush
a book of herbs
a book of alchemy
a scribbled note
a ciphered book
a piece of purple parchment
an iron bell
a handful of yellow Jelly Babies
a Hogwarts brochure
a contract
a medallion
an identity card
action: You go west
response: A capacious hall, lit with torches. There's not much here, though, other than inspiring architecture. Which, honestly, you could see pretty easily in non-magical London whenever you wanted to. An enormous sweeping staircase leads up, and a smaller staircase leads down. A rough door leads west, and the Great Hall is through a stone archway to the east.
action: You go downwards
response: The staircase squeezes around you as you descend. By the time you make it down, it's only a foot wide, and you have to go sideways.

A damp, windowless corridor, with wet and slime oozing down the walls. A staircase leads up--and man, you aren't ready to do that again right away, ick. A classroom is visible to the east.
action: You examine the slime
response: You glance around.

A damp, windowless corridor, with wet and slime oozing down the walls. A staircase leads up. A classroom is visible to the east.
action: Go east
response: A large, rather damp room. A long stone table is its primary feature. A heavy door stands a little ajar at the north end of the room, as though someone were just going through it when they disappeared. The corridor is to the west.

On the stone table are a copper cauldron (in which is an icy potion) and a potions book.

You can also see a scarf here.
action: You get the cauldron
response: You eye it cautiously. Whatever is in the cauldron looks just about ready to slosh out if you joggle it.

Grandma's kitchen--without the Aga. That's what the dungeon classroom reminds you of. Her pantry was full of herbs hanging down, and the whole place, well& now that you think of it, it wasn't really anything like the dungeon classroom. There was something similar about them, though. Maybe it's the temperature, or something about the smell? But Grandma's kitchen was always warm and smelt of cooking, nothing like the dungeons.
action: You look in the the cauldron
response: You eye it cautiously. Whatever is in the cauldron looks just about ready to slosh out if you joggle it.
action: Examine book
response: Which do you mean, the potions book, the cloth book, the blue book, the book of herbs, the book of alchemy, or the ciphered book?
action: Potions
response: A large, old book, entitled "Moste Potente Potions."

You read:

It's open to a recipe: FOR KEEPING A GOBLETTE OR GLASSE UNMOLESTED. The recipe is long, involved, and requires measures of things in "scruples" and "minims." However, at the end, it describes a potion of extreme frigidity and blueness, ready to pour out at the slightest provocation and destroy the potion's molester. Nasty. The last line reads, The inclusion of aconitum, a most wondrous hot herbe, shall however render it inert, and indeed most beneficial to the skin of a lady.
action: You look up the aconitum in the herbs book
response: Extremely poisonous plant; also known as wolfsbane or monkshood. The name "aconite" comes from "aconiton," a Greek word meaning without struggle and referring to the quick death it brings.
action: You examine it
response: A black scarf made of some fine, shaggy substance--spider's silk? Human hair? It feels slightly oily to the touch.
action: Look around
response: A large, rather damp room. A long stone table is its primary feature. A heavy door stands a little ajar at the north end of the room, as though someone were just going through it when they disappeared. The corridor is to the west.

On the stone table are a copper cauldron (in which is an icy potion) and a potions book.
action: Go north
response: A tiny room, with every bit of space used, even the ceiling: herbs hang in bundles, drying. The main feature, however, is a huge apothecary cabinet. A heavy door leads south.
action: You examine HERBS
response: (the book of herbs)
The book's title is "1001 Magical Herbs and Fungi."

You read: A table of contents: acacia, agaric, alder, aloe vera, Angel's Trumpet, arnica, ash, Abyssinian shrivelfig, aconite, Alihotsy, asphodel, baneberry, beech, belladonna, bergamot, black walnut, blackthorn, bloodroot, boom berry, bubotuber, camomile, catnip, cedar, centaury, Chinese chomping cabbage, Cobra Lily, cypress, daisy, dandelion, Devil's Snare, dirigible plum, dittany, ebony, elm, Fanged Geranium, flitterbloom, floo, Flutterby bush, fluxweed, foxglove, gillyweed, ginger, goosegrass, Gurdyroot, hawthorn, hazel, hellebore, henbane, holly, honking daffodil, horehound, hornbeam, knotgrass, lovage, mahogany, mallowsweet, Mandragora, maple, Mimbulus Mimbletonia, monkshood, moly, nettle, oak, peppermint, plangentine, privet, puffapod, pumpkin, rosewood, rowan, rue, sage, Screechsnap, scurvy-grass, silver lime, Snargaluff, Snarfalump, sneezewort, snowdrop, sopophorous bean, sycamore, valerian, Venomous Tentacula, walnut, Whomping Willow, wolfsbane, wormwood, yarrow, yew.

You could probably LOOK UP one of the topics IN THE BOOK OF HERBS.
action: You examine the bundles
response: Bundles of various herbs, too far away to identify. They make the storeroom look like Grandma's pantry.
action: You look up aconitum in the cabinet
response: There doesn't seem to be a drawer labeled "aconite." Curious. Maybe it's under another name?
action: You look up the wolfsbane in the cabinet
response: There doesn't seem to be a drawer labeled "wolfsbane." Curious. Maybe it's under another name?
action: You look up the Snargaluff in the cabinet
response: There's no drawer labelled that way. Rats.
action: You look up the monkshood in the cabinet
response: You find the drawer for monkshood ("also known as wolfsbane or aconite," the label says, in crabbed script), and it's mostly full. You take a sprig or so.
action: Go south
response: A large, rather damp room. A long stone table is its primary feature. A heavy door stands a little ajar at the north end of the room, as though someone were just going through it when they disappeared. The corridor is to the west.

On the stone table are a copper cauldron (in which is an icy potion) and a potions book.
action: You put the aconitum in the cauldron
response: You drop the monkshood into the cauldron, and the potion suddenly turns a creamy white. You cautiously reach out to take the cauldron, and when some of the potion sloshes over the edge, it feels smooth and even a little warm. You waste no time in tipping it down the drain in the centre of the floor and claiming your prize: the copper cauldron.
action: Go west
response: A damp, windowless corridor, with wet and slime oozing down the walls. A staircase leads up. A classroom is visible to the east.
action: Go upwards
response: The staircase expands and contracts as you climb, as though it were trying to decide what to do.

A capacious hall, lit with torches. There's not much here, though, other than inspiring architecture. Which, honestly, you could see pretty easily in non-magical London whenever you wanted to. An enormous sweeping staircase leads up, and a smaller staircase leads down. A rough door leads west, and the Great Hall is through a stone archway to the east.
action: You go to the west
response: (first opening the rough door)

A small and cluttered room. A large and intricate card file takes up most of one wall. A metal desk and chair hunch against another. Some menacing-looking manacles hang above your head. The entrance hall is east, through a rough door.

On the metal desk are a printing press, a piece of type, a list of banned items, and a Kwikspell course.

You can also see a broom here.
action: You get the broom
response: Taken.
action: You look at the manacles
response: Menacing. Or possibly sexy in some other setting. In either case, not school-appropriate.
action: You look at the broom
response: Nothing like a witchy broom. This is just an old fashioned sweeper, with a long handle, worn from a great deal of use.
action: You examine the course
response: Purple paper with silvery lettering.

You read: KWIKSPELL: A Correspondence Course in Beginners' Magic. The subheading is Holding Your Wand (Some Useful Tips). Huh. According to the cover letter, Kwikspell has helped Madam Z. Nettles of Topham and warlock D.J. Prod of Didsbury learn to use their magical abilities better. It doesn't look very promising, though.
action: You look at the press
response: A small printing press, quite heavy, fit to print eight-inch by eleven-inch sheets.
action: You examine type
response: A small piece of lead type--the letter A. Who knows where the other letters are.
action: You take the type
response: Taken.

Sangita never let you come to work with her, at the press. "It's all wedding invitations and menus for posh restaurants," she'd say. Even so, even though you've never actually handled a piece of type before, it seems familiar to you. The font's familiar too. It's clearly not a computer font. The serifs are somehow wrong, not slantwise, but--just off, a little. It looks like it came from a parallel universe. But, of course, now that you think about it, it's rather like the font Sangita set broadsides in, like the one on the wall of your flat.
action: You look at the list
response: Handwritten. Apparently it was too much for the little printing press.

You read: FORBIDDEN.
Dungbombs.
Stink Pellets.
fireworks of any kind, paritcularly Filibuster's.
Ever-Bashing Boomerangs.
Fanged frisbees.
Trick wands.
Fizzing Whizbees.
Anything made by Fred and George Weasley outside of class.
It goes on in similar vein for many, many pages.
action: You examine the desk
response: A nondescript metal desk, the sort a schoolchild might use, but markedly devoid of any of the usual graffiti.

On the metal desk are a printing press, a list of banned items, and a Kwikspell course.
action: You open it
response: You open a drawer and draw a card at random. James Potter and Sirius Black. Apprehended using an illegal hex upon Bertram Aubrey. Aubrey's head twice normal size. Double detention. Lovely. A record of miscreants and their punishments.
action: Sing
response: Your singing is abominable.
action: Go upwards
response: You glide up the staircase as though you were a princess in a ballgown.

A long corridor with an extremely high, vaulted ceiling. It gives the impression of tall trees spreading into branches over your head, although it's all just the same grey stone. Staircases lead down and up. A strange red plastic door leads north, and a black door leads west. To the south, the corridor opens out into the Hospital Wing.
action: You go west
response: A large classroom; the defining feature is an enormous skeleton hung from the ceiling, spotlit, in the centre of the room. The professor's desk, at the front of the room, also looks interesting. A black door is on the east wall.
action: You give the scarf to the skeleton
response: Exerting itself to the utmost, the skeleton bends down and lets you drape the scarf across his head, as though it were a mane. Proud of his new wig, he extends his hoof regally for you to take. It's heavy and satisfying in your hand.
action: You take the hoof
response: You already have that.
action: Ascend
response: The staircase spins counterclockwise as you ascend, but the motion is slow and controlled.

A long, narrow room, lined with suits of armour on either side. Staircases lead down and up. Westward you can see the gallery open out into a trophy room.
action: You go west
response: The space is dominated by a huge trophy case, which butts directly up against a pedestal holding an enormous brass cup. It's immaculate--no dust anywhere. To the east, suits of armor keep watch in their gallery.

You can see a tin cup here.

The silver hoof is surprisingly heavy in your pocket. You used to have a hoof from a horse, and it was much lighter. It wasn't silver, but it was cloven like the one you got from the skeleton. Now that you think about it, it couldn't have been from a horse, of course--horses don't have cloven hooves. It was big, though, and when you were little and going through your horse phase you used it to stamp out prints in the dust, so you could pretend you were really riding along. Kind of macabre.
action: You take the tin
response: You use the broom to hook the cup's handle and pull it out. Success!

That tin cup feels abnormally small in your hand, and it takes you a moment to resolve the cognitive dissonance. You drank from a tin cup like this as a child in your grandmother's kitchen, and then it was just the right size. Grandma would pour you a dose of her cold remedy in that cup--not hot but peppery, peppery, peppery! "It'll pep her up," Grandma would say to your mum, "stop fussing," and yes, it always did seem to help more than any medicine Mum got from the pharmacy.
action: You look at the alchemy
response: The book's title is "Deciphering the Language of Alchemy."

You read: The alchemists have used many symbols to encode their meanings. The following is a record of the most commonly-used.

a dot inside a circle, representing gold or Sol;
a crescent moon, representing silver or Luna;
a female symbol, representing copper or Venus;
a male symbol, representing iron or Mars;
a 2 with a 1 intersecting its tail, representing tin or Jupiter;
a female symbol with horns, representing quicksilver or Mercury;
a curiously embellished lower-case h, representing lead or Saturn;
a female symbol with a triangle instead of a circle for its head, representing sulfur, the connection between the high and low;
a circle bisected by a horizontal line, representing salt--that is, base matter of any kind, including stones and crystals;
a triangle with several diagonal lines in it, representing plant matter;
a triangle pointing up, representing fire;
a triangle pointing down, representing water;
a triangle pointing down with its bottom point intersected by a horizontal line, representing earth;
a triangle pointing up with its top point intersected by a horizontal line, representing air;
an upside-down female symbol, representing antimony;
a circle with a half-circle atop it, representing bismuth;
a misshapen 3, representing cinnabar.
action: Look around
response: The space is dominated by a huge trophy case, which butts directly up against a pedestal holding an enormous brass cup. It's immaculate--no dust anywhere. To the east, suits of armor keep watch in their gallery.

Wandering the castle alone is eerie, and you find yourself remembering things that you'd rather not--whisked away to a time that doesn't really seem happier, in retrospect...

Grandma Gigi's snug kitchen, with its Aga and its aura of coziness, long before it was destroyed. Grandma herself is sitting and knitting. You've just finished quietly celebrating your twelfth birthday, and you're doing your part with the dishes, scrubbing them up in the sink.

"Happy birthday, Alice," Grandma says, but she doesn't really sound so happy.
action: You talk to Grandma
response: At the sound of your voice, Grandma looks up.
action: 1
response: "Grandma--when you were twelve, what did you do for your birthday?" you ask.

"When I was twelve--well, I suppose that when I was twelve I was at school in Scotland."
action: 1
response: "So you didn't have a party then?" you ask.

"Well, I suppose I did have a party. My friends brought me sweets, of course, and presents--I'll always remember the beautiful ribbons dear Al gave me, in our House colors, red and gold. But it wasn't with family, like yours is." It was nice of her to put it like that.
action: 1
response: "Was Al your best friend? Is he still alive?" As soon as you ask it, you realise that it's probably rude to put it quite like that. Fortunately, Grandma chuckles.

"Back then one didn't have a best friend of the opposite gender," she says, "but yes, he was my best friend, for awhile. We still keep in contact; he teaches at the school where we went, in fact."
action: 2
response: "Really, you couldn't be friends with boys?"

"This was in Queen Victoria's reign," she says. "We couldn't even say the word "leg" in mixed company. But Al was almost like a girl, and things were a little different at school." Even at twelve, you know that she couldn't possibly be that old--but Grandma is a great joker.

The memory falls away, and you wish you could put your finger on precisely what seemed so important about it. The boarding school thing? Too late. It's gone.

The space is dominated by a huge trophy case, which butts directly up against a pedestal holding an enormous brass cup. It's immaculate--no dust anywhere. To the east, suits of armor keep watch in their gallery.
action: You go to the east
response: A long, narrow room, lined with suits of armour on either side. Staircases lead down and up. Westward you can see the gallery open out into a trophy room.
action: Go upwards
response: As you step on it, the staircase wiggles as if considering something, then subsides. You climb it without incident.

A short corridor, the walls and floor made entirely of granite. Centuries of use have worn a smooth path down the middle. Staircases lead down and up. A plain door leads south, and the hall ends in what looks like a library to the west.
action: You take the BALL
response: You're way too short to reach it.
action: You check your inventory
response: You are carrying:
a prefect's badge (being worn)
a copper cauldron
a golden toad
a broom
a piece of type
a silver hoof
a vial of mercury
a cloth book
a blue book
a long-handled scrub-brush
a tin cup
a book of herbs
a book of alchemy
a scribbled note
a ciphered book
a piece of purple parchment
an iron bell
a handful of yellow Jelly Babies
a Hogwarts brochure
a contract
a medallion
an identity card
action: You ride the broom
response: You're a Muggle. You can't fly. Remember?
action: You talk to Doll
response: "Are you ready to help me now?" you ask. No immediate reply.
action: You stand on the chair
response: For a moment it feels like the chair is going to eject you, it's so hard--but that's ridiculous, even for a wizarding school. Isn't it? ...You decide not to risk it. Molesting the armchair in any way is out.
action: You examine the Babies
response: Jelly Babies just like any you'd buy in a shop, except they're all yellow.
action: You stand on the pouf
response: The pouf feels rather like a marshmallow. Just as you thought, it's too uncomfortably soft to sit in, and too squashy to give you any kind of a height boost when you stand on it. So much for that.
action: You examine the BALL
response: A perfectly round ball of schorl tourmaline. It is blue-black, and you can imagine a wizard scrying in it, drawing images up from its depths.
action: You give the Babies to Doll
response: The china doll is too high to reach.
action: You stand under Doll
response: Most IF separates space into a series of locations, each containing a set of objects. If you can see an object, you can usually interact with it without worrying about positioning. Try a command like EXAMINE TOURMALINE BALL for a closer look, LOOK to get a new description of this location, or a compass direction like (for example) DOWN or D to move to a different location.
action: You talk to gargoyle
response: "Hello, gargoyle, may I come in?" you ask. "Certainly," he says, and lets you pass.

A circular room with a high, vaulted ceiling. It is filled with various magical instruments, an enormous claw-footed desk, and innumerable oddities--all of which have been pushed, higgledy-piggledy, to the walls, and some of which look much the worse for it. An elaborate perch stands forlornly next to the desk, with no bird seated on it. The walls themselves are covered in portraits of important-looking people. A spiral staircase appears to continually spin downwards--almost like an escalator--at the far end of the room.
action: You look at the perch
response: An elaborate perch for a rather large bird. Presumably it's normally inhabited, but whatever usually sits there is nowhere to be seen.
action: You talk to Newt
response: "Um, Headmaster Scamander?" you ask.

"Yes?"
action: 1
response: "Never mind," you say. Newt nods curtly and goes back to his book.
action: Go downward
response: You step onto the spinning staircase and it delivers you, conveyor-belt style, to the corridor below. A gargoyle settles into place behind you, blocking the way you came.

The walls and ceiling are painted a violent shade of purple. The floor seems to have turned green with envy. A gargoyle of curious mien stands on one wall, and on another hangs a portrait of a fat lady in a pink dress. A squirming staircase leads down; a narrow passage leads northwest; an ordinary door leads south; and a feather-strewn archway leads northeast.
action: You go to the northwest
response: An extremely tiny landing with a brass plaque affixed to the low ceiling. A narrow passageway leads southeast, and a silver ladder leads up through a trapdoor.
action: You go upward
response: This room doesn't look like a classroom at all; it's more like an unholy cross between an old-fashioned tea-shop and someone's attic. The air is stiflingly warm and scented with a heavy, sickening perfume. Various items necessary for divination are fitted into nooks in the circular walls. One high shelf runs around the walls, about a foot and a half from the ceiling. A fat little pouf and an ugly chintz armchair nestle around a low table. A silver ladder leads down.

On the high shelf are a tourmaline ball and a china doll.
action: You stand on the low table
response: You get onto the low table.
action: You take the BALL
response: You try to knock the ball down with the broom, but only succeed in whacking the china doll a good one.

The doll stands, crosses her arms, and stamps one cloth foot. Then, she laboriously lifts the tourmaline ball and throws it directly at your head. Through some act of God you manage to catch it, feeling its cold, heavy weight in your hand. It almost seems familiar--but you can't think why.
action: You examine the BALL
response: A perfectly round ball of schorl tourmaline. It is blue-black, and you can imagine a wizard scrying in it, drawing images up from its depths.
action: You look in the BALL
response: SEARCH doesn't work that way. You can SEARCH DESK, for instance-but you can't SEARCH ROOM, because that would ruin the fun of exploration. You idly caress the surface of the tourmaline ball, and then you remember why it seems so familiar. Sangita had a ball like this--exactly like this, actually. She used to juggle it, keeping it in contact with her skin, running it up and down her arms and over her chest. She was quite good.

Well, you've got all the things that you seem to need now - one for each of the symbols in the notes. If you know the magic word, you should be able to reverse the spell and bring back the denizens of Hogwarts.
action: You stand
response: You get off the low table.

This room doesn't look like a classroom at all; it's more like an unholy cross between an old-fashioned tea-shop and someone's attic. The air is stiflingly warm and scented with a heavy, sickening perfume. Various items necessary for divination are fitted into nooks in the circular walls. One high shelf runs around the walls, about a foot and a half from the ceiling. A fat little pouf and an ugly chintz armchair nestle around a low table. A silver ladder leads down.

On the high shelf is a china doll.
action: Redite
response: Nothing happens. Maybe you're missing something?
action: You examine desk
response: A heavy, claw-footed desk with a highly polished surface. It is covered in chalked designs, strange and geometric.
action: You put the gold on the desk
response: You put the golden toad on the claw-footed desk.
action: You put the silver on the desk
response: (the silver hoof on the claw-footed desk)
You put the silver hoof on the claw-footed desk.
action: You look at the designs
response: A heavy, claw-footed desk with a highly polished surface. It is covered in chalked designs, strange and geometric.

On the claw-footed desk are a silver hoof and a golden toad.
action: You put the iron on the desk
response: You put the iron bell on the claw-footed desk.
action: You put the tin on the desk
response: You put the tin cup on the claw-footed desk.
action: You put the BALL on the desk
response: You put the tourmaline ball on the claw-footed desk.
action: You put the copper on the desk
response: You put the copper cauldron on the claw-footed desk.
action: You examine the parchment
response: A piece of purple parchment with some strange scribbles on it.

You read: INGREDIENTS. To be carried by spellcaster.

gold;
silver;
copper;
iron;
tin;
quicksilver;
lead;
base matter;
eternity.
action: You put the vial on the desk
response: You put the vial of mercury on the claw-footed desk.
action: You put the type on the desk
response: You can't see any such thing.

>You put the piece of type on the claw-footed desk.
action: You put the BALL on desk
response: (first taking the tourmaline ball)

You put the tourmaline ball on the claw-footed desk.
action: You put MEDALLION on the desk
response: You put the medallion on the claw-footed desk.
action: You look at the desk
response: A heavy, claw-footed desk with a highly polished surface. It is covered in chalked designs, strange and geometric.

On the claw-footed desk are a medallion, a tourmaline ball, a piece of type, a vial of mercury, a copper cauldron (empty), a tin cup, an iron bell, a silver hoof, and a golden toad.
action: Redite
response: For a moment, nothing happens, and you think that you've screwed up. Then two people pop into existence. Albus Dumbledore is standing behind his desk. Standing next to you - somehow, for some strange reason - is Sangita.

"Why, Miss Armstrong!" Dumbledore says. "I'd hoped you wouldn't be too nonplussed at our little mishap. I assume that you fixed things yourself? --Excellent, excellent!" While you are still gaping, he rushes out the door. "Many things to attend to!" he calls, airily, over his shoulder. "You've got things to talk about, I expect!" ...and you're alone with your ex-girlfriend.
action: You talk to Sangita
response: "What are you doing here?" you ask flatly.

"I can explain," she says. "Ally--I'm a witch."
action: 1
response: "Well fucking spotted," you say. "I didn't ask if you were a witch or not. I asked what you're doing here."

"Albus only told me you were coming today," she says. "I wanted to be here so I could tell you about everything."
action: 2
response: "Explain then," you say. "Explain why you couldn't tell me before."

"I couldn't!" she says. "It's the law - our law, I couldn't tell you unless you were part of my family. Unless we were married. They would've snapped my wand, Ally, you have to understand that."
action: 1
response: "Well I don't," you say. "You should've broken the law and gotten another wand."

"I couldn't get another one," she says. "Breaking a wand means throwing us out of the wizarding world. Forever."
action: 2
response: "Everything you'd ever known," you muse. "Although you can get along in the Muggle world well enough, else we'd never have met... what does it mean for you, otherwise? Being banished."

"Legally speaking, you become like a Muggle," Sangita says. "It's like becoming a child again. All your rights--stripped."
action: 2
response: "People like me are viewed as children in the eyes of the law, and you would lose your status too. So you couldn't change it, not ever, because you'd be out just like me."

"Yes. And we hide the wizarding world from you. It isn't fair at all. I've been trying to change it. I swear I didn't want to lie to you, I never put a spell on you, nothing. But it wouldn't have done any good for me to have my wand snapped."
action: 2
response: "I can respect that you were doing the best you could," you say, "but it's hard. You have to know it's hard. How can I ever trust you?--Is anyone else I know a witch?"

But Sangita's face is closed and you know she's about to drop something heavy on you. "She wanted you to know," she says. "Your grandmother. Oh, surely you caught the hints! But she couldn't tell you either."
action: 2
response: Somehow, you knew. You didn't want to admit it, but you really did know. "I suppose I knew that," you say. Suddenly grief crashes in on you. "Look, I think you ought to leave me alone for a bit," you say. "Just go."

She goes. She can't even look at you. You are alone.

"Hello, my dear," Dumbledore says, swooping in just as Sangita swoops out. "I take it that your conversation was not easy?--Well, it's only to be expected. But now I would imagine you have a great many questions to ask me."
action: 2
response: "What spell were you trying to cast, when things went wrong?" you ask.

"I was modifying the wards," he says.
action: 2
response: "The wards keep people like me out?" you ask. You're not really doing a great job of hiding your emotions right now.

"I was modifying them to allow you in," he replies. "It isn't just Muggles they keep out, either. There is evil in the world."
action: 1
response: "Stop. Come on. This isn't The Lord of the Rings. You can't honestly think--Look, I don't care if magic is real, Sauron isn't."

"Not Sauron," Dumbledore replies. "Much more banal than that. Ah well: ignorance is bliss! Perhaps an enterprising young wizard will sell the story to a Muggle movie studio someday, and you can see it all on the gold screen."

"Silver screen," you correct automatically. Wizards are truly weird.
action: 2
response: "How do you know Sangita?" you ask.

"I know all the students who have attended Hogwarts during my tenure," he says. "In any case, our interests coincide quite often."
action: 1
response: "Which interests? Printing?"

"Yes, the magical qualities of the printed book--but our politics also align admirably," he says. "Miss Gopalan is, perhaps, an idealist on the issue of Muggle liberation; but I respect her with all my heart."
action: 1
response: You consider this for a moment. "An idealist?"

"Miss Gopalan is a good Hufflepuff, interested in following the rules and living her life in a rational and ordered way; but she deeply believes that Muggles have the right to know about the wizarding world, however inconvenient it might be for us." Dumbledore sighs. "I agree with her that far--but she does not consider the wider political climate, the lurking presence of Lord Voldemort and the danger he poses. That is far more immediate than any long-standing injustice."
action: 1
response: You straighten up. "It seems pretty straightforward to me. There's what's wrong and what's right. You're talking about lying to most of the population. I can't tell you what betrayal -"

"A natural Gryffindor," Dumbledore says. "Ah, well. My House is not without its follies." You refrain from asking what a Gryffindor's traits are. You probably wouldn't like the answer.
action: 2
response: "So what exactly are the laws about Muggles?" you ask. "And how did you manage to make an exception for me?"

"The International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy is the main thing," he replies. "As for how you were excepted--Muggles with wizarding children are already excepted, of course, and Squibs. So you see, it wasn't all that difficult to convince them that you would be an excellent candidate for the Muggle Studies position, and that it was not a startling deviation from the Statute to inform you of our world."
action: 2
response: "How is it enforced? I mean--mind-wiping, wand-snapping--"

You've hit a nerve. Dumbledore does not look happy. "Enforcement is haphazard at best," he says. "Certainly Muggles are Obliviated. For wizards, however, the punishment can be as light as a warning or as severe as utter banishment. One never knows. All depends on influence and luck."
action: 1
response: "Obliviated means mind-wiped. It was on the contract I signed," you say slowly. "Do you enjoy playing God? Muggles have laws against--against brain-washing, and kidnapping, and everything."

"Muggle laws do not apply to wizards," Dumbledore says, "and Muggles have few rights under wizarding law. The law sees wizards as benevolent parents and Muggles as ignorant children."
action: 2
response: "You might have Obliviated me, then? If I hadn't signed the contract?" you ask, even though you know it's true, that he would have. "It says something about 'hexing', too. Would you have hexed me?"

"It was a risk," Dumbledore says, "but a worthwhile risk. It is only by more contact with Muggles that we will ever begin to grow closer to the Muggle world. We need someone like you at Hogwarts."
action: 1
response: "Where did you go just now?" you ask.

"Oh, there was a great deal to attend to," he says. "You did wreak some havoc, didn't you?"
action: 1
response: "I don't think so? Not much anyway," you say sheepishly. He isn't fooled one bit, but he smiles indulgently and lets you save face.
action: 1
response: "So what happens next?" you ask.

"You have a choice before you, Alice," Dumbledore says. "I believe I speak for the entire staff of Hogwarts when I say that we would be honored if you choose to remain with us. Otherwise, I shall release you from your contract. You signed it, after all, in a rather impaired state." He touches his nose--and how did he know that? You never told him! "So--will you stay at Hogwarts?"
action: Yes
response: "I am very glad, my dear girl," the Headmaster says. "I thought you must have had some of Gertrude's spirit in you. It won't be an easy row to hoe, you know, the Ministry of Magic will almost certainly wish to hold an inquiry--but what am I doing? I believe that Miss Gopalan will be waiting in the hallway, and she will be very eager to hear what you have chosen."

You take a deep breath. "There wasn't really any other choice to make," you say. "I can't help Sangita fight if I can't remember what I'm fighting for."
action: Look around
response: A circular room with a high, vaulted ceiling. It is filled with various magical instruments, an enormous claw-footed desk, and innumerable oddities--all of which have been pushed, higgledy-piggledy, to the walls, and some of which look much the worse for it. An elaborate perch stands next to the desk, with a big red bird seated on it. The walls themselves are covered in portraits of important-looking people. A chalk circle covers most of the floor. A spiral staircase spins continually downward at the far end of the room.
action: You check what you're carrying
response: You are carrying:
a prefect's badge (being worn)
a broom
a cloth book
a blue book
a long-handled scrub-brush
a book of herbs
a book of alchemy
a scribbled note
a ciphered book
a piece of purple parchment
a handful of yellow Jelly Babies
a Hogwarts brochure
a contract
an identity card
action: You look at the desk
response: A heavy, claw-footed desk with a highly polished surface. It is covered in chalked designs, strange and geometric.

On the claw-footed desk are a medallion, a tourmaline ball, a piece of type, a vial of mercury, a copper cauldron (empty), a tin cup, an iron bell, a silver hoof, and a golden toad.
action: Redite
response: For a moment, nothing happens, and you think that you've screwed up. Then two people pop into existence. Albus Dumbledore is standing behind his desk. Standing next to you - somehow, for some strange reason - is Sangita.

"Why, Miss Armstrong!" Dumbledore says. "I'd hoped you wouldn't be too nonplussed at our little mishap. I assume that you fixed things yourself? --Excellent, excellent!" While you are still gaping, he rushes out the door. "Many things to attend to!" he calls, airily, over his shoulder. "You've got things to talk about, I expect!" ...and you're alone with your ex-girlfriend.

"Hello, my dear," Dumbledore says, swooping in just as Sangita swoops out. "I take it that your conversation was not easy?--Well, it's only to be expected. But now I would imagine you have a great many questions to ask me."

"Given the events of today, it seems unwise that you come to Hogwarts as a Muggle Studies teacher," Dumbledore says, "which means that there is only one path open to me."

"Obliviation," you say flatly.

"Just so. But if you like--I might consider asking Miss Gopalan to pay you a visit, after you are returned to London. It will be dangerous for her to defy the Ministry--but I suspect that today's events have galvanized her against them in any case. So. Yes or no?
action: Yes
response: Please answer yes or no.>
"I hope that we neither of us are making a mistake--and I hope the Ministry of Magic does not get wind of this, at the inevitable inquiry," Dumbledore says. "Is there any message you would like to send yourself--after?"

"Only promise me that Sangita won't just tell me about herself," you say. "Promise me she'll tell me about Grandma Gigi. And about you. And about all the things I couldn't ask."

"Very well," he says, and raises his wand, and the world goes dark.
action: Look around
response: Divination Classroom (on the low table)
This room doesn't look like a classroom at all; it's more like an unholy cross between an old-fashioned tea-shop and someone's attic. The air is stiflingly warm and scented with a heavy, sickening perfume. Various items necessary for divination are fitted into nooks in the circular walls. One high shelf runs around the walls, about a foot and a half from the ceiling. A fat little pouf and an ugly chintz armchair nestle around a low table. A silver ladder leads down.

On the high shelf is a china doll.
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying:
a tourmaline ball
a prefect's badge (being worn)
a copper cauldron
a golden toad
a broom
a piece of type
a silver hoof
a vial of mercury
a cloth book
a blue book
a long-handled scrub-brush
a tin cup
a book of herbs
a book of alchemy
a scribbled note
a ciphered book
a piece of purple parchment
an iron bell
a handful of yellow Jelly Babies
a Hogwarts brochure
a contract
a medallion
an identity card

You idly caress the surface of the tourmaline ball, and then you remember why it seems so familiar. Sangita had a ball like this--exactly like this, actually. She used to juggle it, keeping it in contact with her skin, running it up and down her arms and over her chest. She was quite good.

Well, you've got all the things that you seem to need now - one for each of the symbols in the notes. If you know the magic word, you should be able to reverse the spell and bring back the denizens of Hogwarts.
action: Go downwards
response: (first getting off the low table)

An extremely tiny landing with a brass plaque affixed to the low ceiling. A narrow passageway leads southeast, and a silver ladder leads up through a trapdoor.
action: You go to the south-east
response: The walls and ceiling are painted a violent shade of purple. The floor seems to have turned green with envy. A gargoyle of curious mien stands on one wall, and on another hangs a portrait of a fat lady in a pink dress. A squirming staircase leads down; a narrow passage leads northwest; an ordinary door leads south; and a feather-strewn archway leads northeast.
action: You check your inventory
response: You are carrying:
a tourmaline ball
a prefect's badge (being worn)
a broom
a piece of type
a cloth book
a blue book
a long-handled scrub-brush
a book of herbs
a book of alchemy
a scribbled note
a ciphered book
a piece of purple parchment
a handful of yellow Jelly Babies
a Hogwarts brochure
a contract
a medallion
an identity card
action: You put the type on the desk
response: You put the piece of type on the claw-footed desk.
action: You put the BALL on the desk
response: You put the tourmaline ball on the claw-footed desk.
action: You put MEDALLION on the desk
response: You put the medallion on the claw-footed desk.
action: You look at the desk
response: A heavy, claw-footed desk with a highly polished surface. It is covered in chalked designs, strange and geometric.

On the claw-footed desk are a medallion, a tourmaline ball, a piece of type, a vial of mercury, an iron bell, a tin cup, a copper cauldron (empty), a silver hoof, and a golden toad.
action: Redite
response: For a moment, nothing happens, and you think that you've screwed up. Then two people pop into existence. Albus Dumbledore is standing behind his desk. Standing next to you - somehow, for some strange reason - is Sangita.

"Why, Miss Armstrong!" Dumbledore says. "I'd hoped you wouldn't be too nonplussed at our little mishap. I assume that you fixed things yourself? --Excellent, excellent!" While you are still gaping, he rushes out the door. "Many things to attend to!" he calls, airily, over his shoulder. "You've got things to talk about, I expect!" ...and you're alone with your ex-girlfriend.
action: You talk to Sangita
response: "What are you doing here?" you ask flatly.

"I can explain," she says. "Ally--I'm a witch."
action: 1
response: "Oh, so as soon as you knew I had found out anyway you decided to come clean," you say. You're not even a little bit sorry that it comes out sharp as can be.

"I couldn't!" she says. "It's the law - our law, I couldn't tell you unless you were part of my family. They would've snapped my wand, Ally, you have to understand that."
action: 1
response: "Oh, so then you'd be like me? What a fate. A fate worse than death, honestly."

Sangita looks uncomfortable. "Well. Legally speaking Muggles are--it isn't fair, all right, but Muggles are worse than children. They haven't any rights, practically."
action: 1
response: "So legally you can just enchant me? You can just fucking do that whenever? What spells did you put on me?"

"Only to protect the wizarding world from discovery," Sangita says. "I don't like it either, but it's been the law since 1692. The International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy. Since we broke up it's been--it was a wake-up call for me, Ally. I didn't ever put a spell on you. I swear it."
action: 1
response: "Working from the inside, were you? Like a secret double agent? Ha. Who else do I know who's been lying to me? I'm just not special enough, am I." You snort, but you aren't finding anything very funny just now. "You must've gotten a good laugh out of World of Warcraft, and me the mage."

But Sangita's face is closed and you know she's about to drop something heavy on you. "She wanted you to know," she says. "Your grandmother. Oh, surely you caught the hints! But she couldn't tell you either."
action: 1
response: You knew it. Somehow you knew it but you didn't want to admit it, you just--"That fucking tops all," you say. "Get out. I don't ever want to see you again."

"Ally -"

"GET BLOODY OUT!"

She gets. You're left alone.

"Hello, my dear," Dumbledore says, swooping in just as Sangita swoops out. "I take it that your conversation was not easy?--Well, it's only to be expected. But now I would imagine you have a great many questions to ask me."
action: 4
response: "So what exactly are the laws about Muggles?" you ask. "And how did you manage to make an exception for me?"

"The International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy is the main thing," he replies. "As for how you were excepted--Muggles with wizarding children are already excepted, of course, and Squibs. So you see, it wasn't all that difficult to convince them that you would be an excellent candidate for the Muggle Studies position, and that it was not a startling deviation from the Statute to inform you of our world."
action: 1
response: "I still don't understand why you need the Statute at all. You could turn us all into frogs if we got uppity."

Dumbledore looks sad. "Witches were burned in the streets not so long ago. We live longer than you do: we remember better than you do."
action: 1
response: "Witch-burning. Right. Come on. This isn't the Dark Ages. Sure, there's some religious freaks, but you make it sound like Muggles are savages."

"Not just witch-burning," Dumbledore says. "We can heal wounds quickly and easily. We can Transfigure lead into gold. We can walk around, invisible. What do you think your Prime Minister thinks of that? He knows about us. He's terrified of us."
action: 1
response: "And he's right to be terrified! You're terrifying! All of you! This is mad. You can probably cure cancer and you're keeping it from us. You enjoy playing God, I suppose."

"I do not play God," Dumbledore says, but he sounds--troubled? It's strange; he seemed so unflappable before. "I have had this conversation before, believe it or not; and once we get to this point, there is not much point in continuing. Only your own experience of the wizarding world can help you understand."
action: 1
response: "Where did you go just now?" you ask.

"Oh, there was a great deal to attend to," he says. "You did wreak some havoc, didn't you?"
action: 2
response: "So what if I did?" you say. "I got you all back, didn't I? It's not as though I asked for all this to happen."

"One should never sign a contract if one doesn't know precisely what it means," he replies. "Why, last time I did that, I ended up the foster-father of a hundred and seven baby Fwoopers. Enough to drive you mad!"
action: 2
response: "How do you know Sangita?" you ask.

"I know all the students who have attended Hogwarts during my tenure," he says. "In any case, our interests coincide quite often."
action: 2
response: "Was she always a pathological liar?"

Dumbledore looks affronted. "My dear, the decision to lie to you--or rather to exclude certain truths--was not and has never been hers to make. One of the reasons she and I get on so well is that she is one of the few wizards with a more radical view of Muggles than my own."
action: 2
response: "In my experience, radicals take action, even when it's at a cost," you say. "If they'd snapped her wand for telling me, it'd have been worth it."

"If they'd snapped her wand for telling you, they'd have erased her memory of the wizarding world entire," Dumbledore says sharply. "She'd forget you too. Everything. If she were lucky, she'd wander homeless for awhile, then somehow find a job at a press--if they were kind enough to leave her memories of how to print. No-one would ever know. She wouldn't be a martyr; she'd be forgotten."
action: 2
response: "I don't care," you say, strident. "It still wasn't right. She hadn't any right to make me fall in love with her if she was going to be lying to me. It's like --like a slave being forced to sleep with their master."

"Really," Dumbledore says, his voice doubtful and even a little scornful, but he does not say anything else.
action: 1
response: "What spell were you trying to cast, when things went wrong?" you ask.

"I was modifying the wards," he says.
action: 1
response: "Modifying the wards. So you mean the spells that keep bad things out. What could wizards possibly be afraid of?" you ask.

"Other wizards," he says. "Muggles do not have a monopoly on evil."
action: 2
response: "If there are wizards who--well, I suppose it makes sense that some people would abuse their magic. But Muggles couldn't fight that. We wouldn't have a chance."

"That's one of the reasons people claim that it is easier to keep our worlds separated," he says. "Our wars don't spill over into your world as much. You needn't fear struggles you have no hand in."

"Well, that's infantilizing."

"Quite."
action: 1
response: "So what happens next?" you ask.

"Given the events of today, it seems unwise that you come to Hogwarts as a Muggle Studies teacher," Dumbledore says, "which means that there is only one path open to me."

"Obliviation," you say flatly.

"Just so. But if you like--I might consider asking Miss Gopalan to pay you a visit, after you are returned to London. It will be dangerous for her to defy the Ministry--but I suspect that today's events have galvanized her against them in any case. So. Yes or no?
action: No
response: "Perhaps you are wise," Dumbledore says, his voice low and disappointed nonetheless. "The Ministry will hold an inquiry, and it would certainly all come out then. I had hoped..."

"Only be thorough about it," you say. "I don't want to remember any of it. I don't even want to remember Sangita if I can possibly help it. Ignorance is bliss, isn't it? So put me back."

And he does.