Mammal
by Joey Jones (2012)
Genres: Humor

The lizards have taken over. You, a lowly human slave, are tasked with eradicating all mammalian traces from the Don Quixote Memorial Museum.

action: %
response: You are a lowly human slave, suffering beneath the squamous toes of your new lizard overlords. Patrisnake Kssshsss has charged you with getting rid of all trace of mammals in the back rooms of the Don Quixote Memorial Museum.

You stand in a vast glass-ceilinged atrium. The main doors stand behind you to the south, in front is the rest of the museum. The part that you actually need to clear is through the little door to the back rooms, behind the information desk to the east. The portrait gallery opens off to the west.

In the centre of the atrium is a huge skip, (or garbage dumpster, if you're so inclined), into which you are to place all objects tainted with mammalian DNA, or direct organic bi-products of mammals. Your co-slaves have already gone through most of museum, including thankfully, the toilets. When the job is done, you need only blow the whistle you've been given, and Kssshsss will come and assess your execution of the task.
action: About yourself
response: You are a lowly human slave.
action: You look at what you're carrying with you
response: You are carrying:
a lizard whistle (being worn)
action: You examine the whistle
response: Around your neck is a whistle. The whistle can be blown to summon the Patrisnake Kssshsss. This should only be done when you've collected as many mammals as you expect to be able to get.
action: You examine the skip
response: The skip is empty.
action: Blow whistle
response: You give the whistle a sharp blow, and in moments Patrisnake Ksshss arrives to survey the skip.

He (or she?) is aghast by the distinct lack of mammals in the skip.
action: You enter the skip
response: You climb into the skip.
action: Blow whistle
response: You give the whistle a sharp blow, and in moments Patrisnake Ksshss arrives to survey the skip.

He finds you within the skip and smiles (snakes always smile) as he orders all the contents (including yourself) summarily destroyed.
action: You examine the desk
response: A large wood-panelled information desk sits in the atrium, with a little drawer on the staff side.
action: You open the drawer
response: You open the little drawer, revealing a packet of pork scratchings and a piece of string.
action: You get the scratchings
response: Taken.
action: You examine the scratchings
response: This is a pack of dried battered scraps of pig, some with visible stubble.
action: You put the scratchings in the skip
response: You throw the packet of pork scratchings into the skip.
action: You examine the skip
response: In the skip is a packet of pork scratchings.
action: Go east
response: (first opening the little door)

You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with an incredibly high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.
action: Go west
response: You stand in a vast glass-ceilinged atrium. The main doors stand behind you to the south, in front is the rest of the museum. The part that you actually need to clear is through the little door to the back rooms, behind the information desk to the east. The portrait gallery opens off to the west.

In the centre of the atrium is a huge skip, (or garbage dumpster, if you're so inclined), into which you are to place all objects tainted with mammalian DNA, or direct organic bi-products of mammals. When the job is done, you need only blow the whistle you've been given, and Kssshsss will come and assess your execution of the task.
action: You go to the west
response: The once impressive collection of portraits has now disappeared, most likely looted. The gallery is centred around a great window that overlooks the eastern exit.

A lone moose head is all that remains.
action: You look at the window
response: The window has been broken open, and a crowbar is still jammed in it.
action: You look at the crowbar
response: The crowbar is a solid length of metal with a hooked end, designed for prying things.
action: You take the crowbar
response: Taken.
action: You examine the head
response: On closer inspection, it looks like a caribou.
action: You take the head
response: It's pretty much nailed to the wall.
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying:
a crowbar
a piece of string
a lizard whistle (being worn)
action: You take the moose
response: You're carrying too many things already.
action: Tie string around moose
response: You tie the piece of string to the caribou head.
action: Drag moose
response: Nothing obvious happens.
action: Look around
response: The once impressive collection of portraits has now disappeared, definitely looted. The gallery is centred around a great window that overlooks the eastern exit.
action: Go east
response: You stand in a vast glass-ceilinged atrium. The main doors stand behind you to the south, in front is the rest of the museum. The part that you actually need to clear is through the little door to the back rooms, behind the information desk to the east. The portrait gallery opens off to the west.

In the centre of the atrium is a huge skip, (or garbage dumpster, if you're so inclined), into which you are to place all objects tainted with mammalian DNA, or direct organic bi-products of mammals. When the job is done, you need only blow the whistle you've been given, and Kssshsss will come and assess your execution of the task.
action: You drop the crowbar
response: Dropped.
action: You take the string
response: You deftly untie the string.

You already have that.
action: You put the moose in the skip
response: You throw the caribou head into the skip.
action: You go south
response: You are greeted by a sunny day on the steps of the museum. The grand entrance looms up to the north, while steps radiate out in all other directions. Going in such directions would, of course, be highly forbidden.

A dog is mourning here over the vaporised remains of its owner.
action: You examine the dog
response: The dog is one of those really sad looking pugs. You know how you can have jolly looking pugs? Well this isn't one of them.
action: You kick the dog
response: Violence begets violence. Or maybe it begets sentient lizard people. Either way, it's not the solution.
action: You go to the south
response: You really shouldn't stroll off from the museum: that is in direct violation of the commands of your lizard overlords.
action: You take the dog
response: The dog growls at you, and refuses to be budged from the remains of its owner.
action: You tie the string to dog
response: Unfortunately, the mourning dog doesn't seem to be too enthusiastic about that plan. It'd probably work on a smaller animal though.
action: You examine owner
response: GS. YOU You see nothing special about the vaporised remains.
action: You take the remains
response: Taken.
action: You go north
response: You stand in a vast glass-ceilinged atrium. The main doors stand behind you to the south, in front is the rest of the museum. The part that you actually need to clear is through the little door to the back rooms, behind the information desk to the east. The portrait gallery opens off to the west.

In the centre of the atrium is a huge skip, (or garbage dumpster, if you're so inclined), into which you are to place all objects tainted with mammalian DNA, or direct organic bi-products of mammals. When the job is done, you need only blow the whistle you've been given, and Kssshsss will come and assess your execution of the task.

You can also see a crowbar here.

The mourning dog arrives from the south.
action: You put the remains in the skip
response: NE POINT.]

> >S

> MUSeYou throw the vaporised remains into the skip.

The dog clambers into the skip to be closer to the remains.
action: You go east
response: You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with an improbably high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.
action: You look at the ceiling
response: Above you is a very high ceiling!

In the high ceiling is a reticent bat.
action: You look at the bat
response: The bat is circling above you, apparently reticent about coming down.
action: Go north
response: The cloak room is musty and full of old coats.
action: You examine the coats
response: Which do you mean, the blue raincoat, the snakeskin coat or the ocelot coat?
action: You look at ocelot coat
response: It's a faux-fur ocelot coat, as revealing as it is tasteless.
action: You wear the ocelot coat
response: (first taking the ocelot coat)
You put on the ocelot coat.
action: You remove ocelot coat
response: You take off the ocelot coat.
action: You examine the snakeskin coat
response: ONE POINT.]

> >S
The coat is made of real snake skin. Best not show this to Kssshsss...
action: You examine the blue
response: It's a famous design, with an inside pocket.
action: You examine the pocket
response: The pocket is very spacious.

In the inside pocket is a pair of fox-fur gloves.
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying:
an ocelot coat
a piece of string
a lizard whistle (being worn)
action: You drop the coat
response: (the ocelot coat)
Dropped.
action: You examine gloves
response: The gloves are made of fox leather and lined with fox fur.
action: You search blue
response: The pocket is very spacious.
action: Look around
response: The cloak room is musty and full of old coats.

You can see an ocelot coat here.
action: You wear the gloves
response: You put on the pair of fox-fur gloves.
action: Wear coat
response: (the ocelot coat)
(first taking the ocelot coat)
You put on the ocelot coat.
action: You go south
response: You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with an impossibly high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.
action: You go west
response: Atrium
You stand in a vast glass-ceilinged atrium. The main doors stand behind you to the south, in front is the rest of the museum. The part that you actually need to clear is through the little door to the back rooms, behind the information desk to the east. The portrait gallery opens off to the west.

In the centre of the atrium is a huge skip, (or garbage dumpster, if you're so inclined), into which you are to place all objects tainted with mammalian DNA, or direct organic bi-products of mammals. When the job is done, you need only blow the whistle you've been given, and Kssshsss will come and assess your execution of the task.

You can also see a crowbar here.
action: You put the gloves in the skip
response: (first taking it off)
You throw the pair of fox-fur gloves into the skip.
action: You go east
response: Back Corridor
You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with a significantly high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.
action: You go east
response: You stand in a vast maze of shelves and low tables cluttered with all the pots and less interesting artefacts that haven't won a place in the public parts of the museum.

A half-constructed whale skeleton hangs from the ceiling from long thin wires.
action: You look at the skeleton
response: The bones form the back end of a whale- mostly a rib cage and tail bones.
action: You look at the shelves
response: The shelves are stacked with banal pots and unfathomable ancient trinkets. On one of the shelves there's a pair of secateurs.
action: You examine the secateurs
response: It's a small pair of very sharp hand-shears, used for snipping or cutting things.
action: You take the secateurs
response: Taken.
action: You cut the wire with the secateurs
response: TH A SIGNIFICANTLY HIGH You snip the many wires that hold up the whale skeleton, and with the last one all the bones fall into a vast pile at your feet.
action: You examine the pots
response: One pot stands out as particularly significant. Not because of the design (a bland series of brown lines), but because of the massive stuffed dolphin sticking out of it.
action: You look at the dolphin
response: It's a small river dolphin, gently preserved for future generations to admire.
action: You drop the secateurs
response: Dropped.
action: You tie the string to whistle
response: You tie the piece of string to the lizard whistle.
action: You take the whale
response: You'll never be able to pick up the whale bones while you're carrying the stuffed dolphin.
action: Look around
response: You stand in a vast maze of shelves and low tables cluttered with all the pots and less interesting artefacts that haven't won a place in the public parts of the museum.

There's a pile of whale bones here.

You can also see a pair of secateurs here.
action: S trinkets
response: YI only understood you as far as wanting to s the long thin wires.
action: You examine the trinkets
response: The holding room is full of the cultural detritus of ages. And pots. Lots of pots. Apparently, the only thing that consistently survives each era is a culture's equivalent to Tupperware.
action: You examine the tables
response: The low tables mostly just hold uninteresting pots, but one of them has a massive crate on it.
action: Examine crate
response: It's a massive crate with an Australian postage mark on the side- it's currently nailed shut.
action: Go west
response: You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with a plot relevant high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.
action: You go to the west
response: You stand in a vast glass-ceilinged atrium. The main doors stand behind you to the south, in front is the rest of the museum. The part that you actually need to clear is through the little door to the back rooms, behind the information desk to the east. The portrait gallery opens off to the west.

In the centre of the atrium is a huge skip, (or garbage dumpster, if you're so inclined), into which you are to place all objects tainted with mammalian DNA, or direct organic bi-products of mammals. When the job is done, you need only blow the whistle you've been given, and Kssshsss will come and assess your execution of the task.

You can also see a crowbar here.
action: You put the dolphin in the skip
response: > BACK CORrYou throw the stuffed dolphin into the skip.
action: You go to the east
response: You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with an incredibly high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.
action: Go east
response: You stand in a vast maze of shelves and low tables cluttered with all the pots and less interesting artefacts that haven't won a place in the public parts of the museum.

There's a pile of whale bones here.

On a low table is a massive crate (closed).

You can also see a pair of secateurs here.
action: You examine the artefacts
response: The holding room is full of the cultural detritus of ages. And pots. Lots of pots. Apparently, the only thing that consistently survives each era is a culture's equivalent to Tupperware.
action: You pry the crate with crowbar
response: You pry open the crate, revealing a severely over-stuffed koala within.
action: You look at the koala
response: The taxidermist evidently had never seen a living koala, and so did not know when to stop stuffing the late marsupial. It's almost bursting at its clearly visible seams.
action: You hug the koala
response: You can only do that to something animate.
action: You take the koala
response: You give the koala a pull, but it's too overstuffed to remove.
action: You drop the crowbar
response: Dropped.
action: You cut the koala
response: You shear into the overstuffed koala, revealing a mound of treated straw bursting out of its abdomen.
action: You examine the straw
response: There's really so much more stuffing that you'd imagine could fit in a single koala.
action: You take the koala
response: You pull out the koala, revealing a slightly squashed stuffed echidna underneath.
action: You examine the echidna
response: YIt's a slightly squashed prickly monotreme. Given that it's stuffed, it's not likely it'll lay eggs any time soon.
action: Examine crate
response: You've broken open the massive crate.
action: You drop the echidna
response: You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with an improbably high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.

You stand in a vast glass-ceilinged atrium. The main doors stand behind you to the south, in front is the rest of the museum. The part that you actually need to clear is through the little door to the back rooms, behind the information desk to the east. The portrait gallery opens off to the west.

In the centre of the atrium is a huge skip, (or garbage dumpster, if you're so inclined), into which you are to place all objects tainted with mammalian DNA, or direct organic bi-products of mammals. When the job is done, you need only blow the whistle you've been given, and Kssshsss will come and assess your execution of the task.

Dropped.
action: You take the whale
response: PRYED OPEN.

> >p
Back Corridor
You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with an impossibly high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.

You stand in a vast maze of shelves and low tables cluttered with all the pots and less interesting artefacts that haven't won a place in the public parts of the museum.

There's a pile of whale bones here.

On a low table is a massive crate (empty).

You can also see an over-stuffed koala, a pair of secateurs, a treated straw stuffing and a crowbar here.

The bones are very bulky but surprisingly light.
action: You drop the whale
response: You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with a significantly high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.

You stand in a vast glass-ceilinged atrium. The main doors stand behind you to the south, in front is the rest of the museum. The part that you actually need to clear is through the little door to the back rooms, behind the information desk to the east. The portrait gallery opens off to the west.

In the centre of the atrium is a huge skip, (or garbage dumpster, if you're so inclined), into which you are to place all objects tainted with mammalian DNA, or direct organic bi-products of mammals. When the job is done, you need only blow the whistle you've been given, and Kssshsss will come and assess your execution of the task.

You can also see a stuffed echidna here.

Dropped.
action: You take the koala
response: Back Corridor
You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with a plot relevant high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.

You stand in a vast maze of shelves and low tables cluttered with all the pots and less interesting artefacts that haven't won a place in the public parts of the museum.

On a low table is a massive crate (empty).

You can also see an over-stuffed koala, a pair of secateurs, a treated straw stuffing and a crowbar here.
action: You look at your surroundings
response: You stand in a vast maze of shelves and low tables cluttered with all the pots and less interesting artefacts that haven't won a place in the public parts of the museum.

On a low table is a massive crate (empty).

You can also see a pair of secateurs, a treated straw stuffing and a crowbar here.
action: You drop the koala
response: You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with an incredibly high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.

You stand in a vast glass-ceilinged atrium. The main doors stand behind you to the south, in front is the rest of the museum. The part that you actually need to clear is through the little door to the back rooms, behind the information desk to the east. The portrait gallery opens off to the west.

In the centre of the atrium is a huge skip, (or garbage dumpster, if you're so inclined), into which you are to place all objects tainted with mammalian DNA, or direct organic bi-products of mammals. When the job is done, you need only blow the whistle you've been given, and Kssshsss will come and assess your execution of the task.

You can also see a whale bones and a stuffed echidna here.

Dropped.
action: You put the koala in the skip
response: CORRYOU THROW THe(first taking the over-stuffed koala)

You throw the over-stuffed koala into the skip.
action: You put the whale in the skip
response: (first taking the whale bones)

You pick up the bones again.

You throw the whale bones into the skip.
action: You put the echidna in the skip
response: (first taking the stuffed echidna)

You throw the stuffed echidna into the skip.
action: Look around
response: You stand in a vast glass-ceilinged atrium. The main doors stand behind you to the south, in front is the rest of the museum. The part that you actually need to clear is through the little door to the back rooms, behind the information desk to the east. The portrait gallery opens off to the west.

In the centre of the atrium is a huge skip, (or garbage dumpster, if you're so inclined), into which you are to place all objects tainted with mammalian DNA, or direct organic bi-products of mammals. When the job is done, you need only blow the whistle you've been given, and Kssshsss will come and assess your execution of the task.
action: You go east
response: Back Corridor
You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with an improbably high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.
action: Go south
response: The office of the curator is mostly taken up by a huge painting of a giraffe. Beneath the painting the small office comprises of a small desk, a huge overstuffed chair and mini fridge.

On the small desk is a rock paperweight.
action: You examine paperweight
response: It's a pet rock. They were all the craze once: everyone wanted one.
action: You examine the painting
response: A somewhat postmodern arrangement of orange and black splodges. You're fairly sure that the only animals harmed by the making of this painting were the human critics paid to look at it.

You hear some squeaking from somewhere in the room.
action: You tie the string around the rock
response: (first untying the string)

You deftly untie the string.

You already have that.

You tie the piece of string to the rock paperweight.
action: You listen
response: TO SOUtYou think you can hear some squeaking from behind the huge giraffe painting.

You hear nothing unexpected.

There's that squeaking again.
action: You take the painting
response: It's rather attached to the wall.
action: You examine the chair
response: The chair is huge and overstuffed, but it looks like it could easily be moved between places.

On the huge overstuffed chair is the resident cat.
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying:
a rock paperweight
an ocelot coat (being worn)
a lizard whistle (being worn)
action: You drop the paperweight
response: Dropped.

Yep, definitely some squeaking.
action: You go east
response: Main Holding Room
You stand in a vast maze of shelves and low tables cluttered with all the pots and less interesting artefacts that haven't won a place in the public parts of the museum.

On a low table is a massive crate (empty).

You can also see a pair of secateurs, a treated straw stuffing and a crowbar here.
action: You take the secateurs and crowbar
response: pair of secateurs: Taken.
crowbar: Taken.
action: Go south
response: You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with a significantly high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.

The office of the curator is mostly taken up by a huge painting of a giraffe. Beneath the painting the small office comprises of a small desk, a huge overstuffed chair and mini fridge.

You can see a rock paperweight here.

Yep, definitely some squeaking.
action: Pry painting with crowbar
response: NE UP BY ONE POINT.]

> >S
TThe painting tears off the wall, landing in a torn heap on the floor.
action: Look around
response: The painting lies in tatters on the floor of the office, revealing a hole in the brickwork behind. Beneath the painting the small office comprises of a small desk, a huge overstuffed chair and mini fridge.

You can see a hole in the brickwork (in which is a family of shrews) and a rock paperweight here.
action: You examine the shrews
response: There's a small family of shrews living in the brickwork. The only thing you remember about shrews is that if you try to poison them, it only makes their bites fatal. And that might not be true.
action: You take the shrews
response: Pick them up with your unprotected hands?! They're vicious little biting things; it's not going to happen.
action: You drop the secateurs and crowbar
response: pair of secateurs: Dropped.
crowbar: Dropped.
action: You show shrews to cat
response: (first taking the family of shrews)
Pick them up with your unprotected hands?! They're vicious little biting things; it's not going to happen.
action: You look at the cat
response: The cat is a rather fluffy tortoiseshell, insistent on following you around.
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying:
the resident cat
an ocelot coat (being worn)
a lizard whistle (being worn)
action: Pet cat
response: The cat purrs merrily as you pet her.
action: You put the cat in skip
response: N HEAP ON THE FlYou throw the resident cat into the skip.
action: You take the gloves
response: Taken.

The cat gets bored of being in the skip and jumps out.
action: Go east
response: You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with an incredibly high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.

The resident cat arrives from the west.
action: Go south
response: The painting lies in tatters on the floor of the office, revealing a hole in the brickwork behind. Beneath the painting the small office comprises of a small desk, a huge overstuffed chair and mini fridge.

You can see a crowbar, a pair of secateurs, a hole in the brickwork (in which is a family of shrews) and a rock paperweight here.

The resident cat arrives from the north.
action: You wear the gloves
response: You put on the pair of fox-fur gloves.
action: You take the shrews
response: POINTS.]

> >eTaken.
action: You examine the hole
response: There's a gaping hole in the crumbling brickwork.

The cat turns around three time, flops to the ground and falls asleep.
action: Look around
response: The painting lies in tatters on the floor of the office, revealing a hole in the brickwork behind. Beneath the painting the small office comprises of a small desk, a huge overstuffed chair and mini fridge.

You can see the resident cat, a crowbar, a pair of secateurs, a hole in the brickwork (empty) and a rock paperweight here.
action: You examine the fridge
response: It's a small white box for keeping things cold.
action: You open the fridge
response: You open the fridge, and inside is a glass of milk, a regular trifle, a bunch of grapes and a vegan trifle.
action: You examine milk
response: L, LANdIt's a cold glass of milk. From the smell, you'd say it might be goat's milk.
action: You look at regular
response: It's a three-tiered concoction of full-fat cream, ox gelatin jelly, and milk-powder-enriched sponge cake.
action: You look at the grapes
response: Just a bunch of sad looking grapes.
action: You examine vegan
response: It's gluten and sugar free as well. You can only assume that it's made entirely from rice starch.
action: You take the milk and regular
response: glass of milk: You're carrying too many things already.
regular trifle: You're carrying too many things already.
action: You put the shrews in skip
response: POINT.]

> >S

> TTHE PaYou throw the family of shrews into the skip.
action: You put the gloves in the skip
response: (first taking it off)
You throw the pair of fox-fur gloves into the skip.
action: You look at what you're carrying with you
response: You are carrying:
a bunch of grapes
an ocelot coat (being worn)
a lizard whistle (being worn)
action: Go east
response: You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with an impossibly high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.
action: You look at the bat
response: The bat is circling above you, apparently reticent about coming down.
action: You drop the grapes
response: Dropped.
action: Wait
response: Time passes.
action: You go north
response: The painting lies in tatters on the floor of the office, revealing a hole in the brickwork behind. Beneath the painting the small office comprises of a small desk, a huge overstuffed chair and mini fridge.

You can see a pair of secateurs, the resident cat, a crowbar, a hole in the brickwork (empty) and a rock paperweight here.

You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with a significantly high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.

You can see a bunch of grapes here.
action: You go to the south
response: Curator's Office
The painting lies in tatters on the floor of the office, revealing a hole in the brickwork behind. Beneath the painting the small office comprises of a small desk, a huge overstuffed chair and mini fridge.

You can see a pair of secateurs, the resident cat, a crowbar, a hole in the brickwork (empty) and a rock paperweight here.
action: You take the milk and regular
response: glass of milk: Taken.
regular trifle: Taken.
action: You take the vegan
response: You're carrying too many things already.
action: Go north
response: You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with a plot relevant high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.

You can see a bunch of grapes here.
action: You put the milk in the skip
response: You throw the glass of milk into the skip.
action: You put the trifle in the skip
response: You throw the regular trifle into the skip.
action: You take the cat
response: You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with an incredibly high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.

You can see a bunch of grapes here.

The painting lies in tatters on the floor of the office, revealing a hole in the brickwork behind. Beneath the painting the small office comprises of a small desk, a huge overstuffed chair and mini fridge.

You can see a pair of secateurs, the resident cat, a crowbar, a hole in the brickwork (empty) and a rock paperweight here.

You pick her up and she miaows with minor concern.
action: You go west
response: Back Corridor
You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with an improbably high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.

You can see a bunch of grapes here.

You stand in a vast glass-ceilinged atrium. The main doors stand behind you to the south, in front is the rest of the museum. The part that you actually need to clear is through the little door to the back rooms, behind the information desk to the east. The portrait gallery opens off to the west.

In the centre of the atrium is a huge skip, (or garbage dumpster, if you're so inclined), into which you are to place all objects tainted with mammalian DNA, or direct organic bi-products of mammals. When the job is done, you need only blow the whistle you've been given, and Kssshsss will come and assess your execution of the task.
action: You put the cat in the skip
response: IGH CEILING. THeYou throw the resident cat into the skip.
action: Wait
response: Time passes.
action: Go east
response: You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with an impossibly high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.

You can see a bunch of grapes here.
action: You check your inventory
response: You are carrying:
an ocelot coat (being worn)
a lizard whistle (being worn)
action: Go south
response: The painting lies in tatters on the floor of the office, revealing a hole in the brickwork behind. Beneath the painting the small office comprises of a small desk, a huge overstuffed chair and mini fridge.

You can see a pair of secateurs, a crowbar, a hole in the brickwork (empty) and a rock paperweight here.

The cat gets bored of being in the skip and jumps out.
action: You take the vegan and the rock
response: THE SKIP.

> [YOUR SCovegan trifle: Taken.
rock paperweight: Taken.

The resident cat arrives from the north.
action: Go north
response: You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with a significantly high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.

You can see a bunch of grapes here.

The resident cat arrives from the south.
action: You put vegan on the grapes
response: Putting things on the bunch of grapes would achieve nothing.

The cat rubs against your legs.
action: You tie the string to the cat
response: (first untying the string)

You want the string tied around the rock paperweight.
action: You throw the rock at the bat
response: No, that would be cruel.
action: Swing the rock
response: There's nothing sensible to swing here.

The cat purrs contently.
action: You tie the string to bat
response: With the string, you tie the bat to the rock, anchoring the poor bat to the rock.
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying:
a vegan trifle
an ocelot coat (being worn)
a lizard whistle (being worn)
action: You take the rock
response: That seems to be a part of the anchored bat.
action: You take the bat
response: The bat is too high to jump and catch from the ground.
action: You take the string
response: You want the string tied around the anchored bat.
action: You throw the coat at the bat
response: No, that would be cruel.
action: You check what you're carrying
response: You are carrying:
a vegan trifle
an ocelot coat (being worn)
a lizard whistle (being worn)

The cat stretches joyously.
action: Look around
response: The painting lies in tatters on the floor of the office, revealing a hole in the brickwork behind. Beneath the painting the small office comprises of a small desk, a huge overstuffed chair and mini fridge.

You can see the resident cat, a pair of secateurs, a crowbar and a hole in the brickwork (empty) here.
action: You check your inventory
response: K You are carrying:
a rock paperweight
a vegan trifle
an ocelot coat (being worn)
a lizard whistle (being worn)

The cat rubs against your legs.
action: You eat vegan
response: You've already had lunch.
action: You cut the self
response: Things aren't that dire yet.

The cat purrs contently.
action: You show the grapes to bat
response: (first taking the bunch of grapes)
You're carrying too many things already.
action: You show the grapes to bat
response: (first taking the bunch of grapes)
The reticent bat is unimpressed.
action: You show the vegan to bat
response: .]

> >UNDO

> BACK COrThe reticent bat is unimpressed.

The cat stretches joyously.
action: Go north
response: The cloak room is musty and full of old coats.

The resident cat arrives from the south.
action: You take the coat
response: (the ocelot coat)
You already have that.
action: Look around
response: The cloak room is musty and full of old coats.

You can see the resident cat here.
action: Go south
response: You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with a plot relevant high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.

You can see a bunch of grapes and a rock paperweight here.

The resident cat arrives from the north.
action: You show the snakeskin coat to the bat
response: The reticent bat is unimpressed.

The cat stretches joyously.
action: You show the bat to the cat
response: > DROPPe(first taking the reticent bat)
The bat is too high to jump and catch from the ground.

The cat turns around three time, flops to the ground and falls asleep.
action: You wear the snakeskin coat
response: You put on the snakeskin coat.
action: You drop the snakeskin coat
response: (first taking the snakeskin coat off)
Dropped.
action: You wear the gloves
response: BAT)

> THE BAt(first taking the pair of fox-fur gloves)
You put on the pair of fox-fur gloves.
action: You take the shrews
response: Taken.
action: Go east
response: You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with an incredibly high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.

You can see a vegan trifle, a snakeskin coat, the resident cat, a bunch of grapes and a rock paperweight here.
action: You show the shrews to bat
response: The reticent bat is unimpressed.
action: You show regular to the bat
response: HE CAT STRETCHES JOyThe reticent bat is unimpressed.
action: You look at your surroundings
response: You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with an improbably high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.

You can see a vegan trifle, a snakeskin coat, the resident cat, a bunch of grapes and a rock paperweight here.
action: You put regular and the shrews and the gloves in the skip
response: >L

> BACK CORRIDOR

> YOU FIND YOURSELF IN A dregular trifle: You throw the regular trifle into the skip.
family of shrews: You throw the family of shrews into the skip.
pair of fox-fur gloves: (first taking it off)
You throw the pair of fox-fur gloves into the skip.
action: You take the pork
response: Taken.
action: You examine the skip
response: In the skip are a pair of fox-fur gloves, a family of shrews, a regular trifle, a glass of milk, a stuffed echidna, a whale bones, an over-stuffed koala, a stuffed dolphin, a mourning dog, some vaporised remains and a caribou head.
action: Go east
response: You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with an impossibly high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.

You can see a vegan trifle, a snakeskin coat, the resident cat, a bunch of grapes and a rock paperweight here.
action: You show the pork to bat
response: ONE POINT.]

> >S
The reticent bat is unimpressed.
action: You go to the south
response: The painting lies in tatters on the floor of the office, revealing a hole in the brickwork behind. Beneath the painting the small office comprises of a small desk, a huge overstuffed chair and mini fridge.

You can see a pair of secateurs, a crowbar and a hole in the brickwork (empty) here.
action: You open the fridge
response: That's already open.
action: You go north
response: You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with a significantly high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.

You can see a vegan trifle, a snakeskin coat, the resident cat, a bunch of grapes and a rock paperweight here.
action: You cut the koala
response: ]

> >S

> THE You've already cut that!
action: You put the pork in skip
response: You throw the packet of pork scratchings into the skip.
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying:
a pair of secateurs
an ocelot coat (being worn)
a lizard whistle (being worn)
action: You drop the ocelot
response: (first taking the ocelot coat off)
Dropped.
action: You stand on the chair
response: You get onto the huge overstuffed chair.
action: You take the bat
response: Triumphantly, you leap and grasp hold of the bat.
action: You tie the bat to the string
response: With the string, you tie the bat to the rock, anchoring the poor bat to the rock.
action: You take the cat
response: ING TO BeYou're carrying too many things already.
action: You check what you're carrying
response: You are carrying:
the resident cat
an anchored bat
a lizard whistle (being worn)
action: You look around
response: Back Corridor (on the huge overstuffed chair)
You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with an improbably high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.

You can see a vegan trifle, a snakeskin coat and a bunch of grapes here.

On the huge overstuffed chair you can see a pair of secateurs.
action: Go west
response: (first getting off the huge overstuffed chair)

You stand in a vast glass-ceilinged atrium. The main doors stand behind you to the south, in front is the rest of the museum. The part that you actually need to clear is through the little door to the back rooms, behind the information desk to the east. The portrait gallery opens off to the west.

In the centre of the atrium is a huge skip, (or garbage dumpster, if you're so inclined), into which you are to place all objects tainted with mammalian DNA, or direct organic bi-products of mammals. When the job is done, you need only blow the whistle you've been given, and Kssshsss will come and assess your execution of the task.

You can also see an ocelot coat here.
action: Go east
response: You find yourself in a dingy back corridor with an impossibly high ceiling. The way back to the atrium lies through the little door west. The main Holding Room opens up to the east, the curator's office is to south, while north sits a cloak room.

You can see a vegan trifle, a snakeskin coat and a bunch of grapes here.
action: You wear snakeskin
response: (first taking the snakeskin coat)
You put on the snakeskin coat.
action: You go to the west
response: You stand in a vast glass-ceilinged atrium. The main doors stand behind you to the south, in front is the rest of the museum. The part that you actually need to clear is through the little door to the back rooms, behind the information desk to the east. The portrait gallery opens off to the west.

In the centre of the atrium is a huge skip, (or garbage dumpster, if you're so inclined), into which you are to place all objects tainted with mammalian DNA, or direct organic bi-products of mammals. When the job is done, you need only blow the whistle you've been given, and Kssshsss will come and assess your execution of the task.

You can also see an ocelot coat here.
action: You put the bat in the skip
response: NT.]

> >S

> THE YOuYou throw the anchored bat into the skip.
action: You put the cat in the skip
response: You throw the resident cat into the skip.
action: You look at the skip
response: In the skip are the resident cat, an anchored bat, a packet of pork scratchings, a pair of fox-fur gloves, a family of shrews, a regular trifle, a glass of milk, a stuffed echidna, a whale bones, an over-stuffed koala, a stuffed dolphin, a mourning dog, some vaporised remains and a caribou head.
action: You take the ocelot
response: Taken.

The cat gets bored of being in the skip and jumps out.
action: You put the ocelot in the skip
response: You throw the ocelot coat into the skip.

The cat starts lapping at the milk, but then gets bored.

The cat climbs up the faux-fur ocelot coat, destroying it in no time at all.
action: You put the cat in the skip
response: (first taking the resident cat)

You pick her up and she miaows with minor concern.

You throw the resident cat into the skip.

The cat gets bored of being in the skip and jumps out.
action: You enter the skip
response: [YOUR SCOrYou climb into the skip.
action: Wait
response: Time passes.
action: Go outside
response: You get out of the skip.

You stand in a vast glass-ceilinged atrium. The main doors stand behind you to the south, in front is the rest of the museum. The part that you actually need to clear is through the little door to the back rooms, behind the information desk to the east. The portrait gallery opens off to the west.

In the centre of the atrium is a huge skip, (or garbage dumpster, if you're so inclined), into which you are to place all objects tainted with mammalian DNA, or direct organic bi-products of mammals. When the job is done, you need only blow the whistle you've been given, and Kssshsss will come and assess your execution of the task.

You can also see the resident cat here.
action: You take the cat
response: > THAT'You pick her up and she miaows with minor concern.
action: You enter the skip
response: You climb into the skip.
action: You drop the cat
response: Dropped.
action: You put the cat in the skip
response: The resident cat is already here.
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying:
a snakeskin coat (being worn)
a lizard whistle (being worn)
action: Blow whistle
response: You give the whistle a sharp blow, and in moments Patrisnake Ksshss arrives to survey the skip.

He finds you within the skip and smiles (snakes always smile) as he orders all the contents (including yourself) summarily destroyed.

Just before you are incinerated, Kssshsss congratulates you on finding everything in the museum.
action: You exit
response: You get out of the skip.

You stand in a vast glass-ceilinged atrium. The main doors stand behind you to the south, in front is the rest of the museum. The part that you actually need to clear is through the little door to the back rooms, behind the information desk to the east. The portrait gallery opens off to the west.

In the centre of the atrium is a huge skip, (or garbage dumpster, if you're so inclined), into which you are to place all objects tainted with mammalian DNA, or direct organic bi-products of mammals. When the job is done, you need only blow the whistle you've been given, and Kssshsss will come and assess your execution of the task.
action: You put the snakeskin in the skip
response: You throw the snakeskin coat into the skip.

The cat gets bored of being in the skip and jumps out.
action: You take the cat
response: P.

> ATRIuYou pick her up and she miaows with minor concern.
action: You put the cat in the skip
response: You throw the resident cat into the skip.
action: Blow whistle
response: You give the whistle a sharp blow, and in moments Patrisnake Ksshss arrives to survey the skip.

"So," starts Ksssnsss, "a magnificent performance, you have found all the mammalian items!"

"But you're much too clever by half..." he says, eating you whole. Lizards are not known for their appreciation of high-achievers.
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying:
a snakeskin coat (being worn)
a lizard whistle (being worn)

The cat gets bored of being in the skip and jumps out.
action: You put the cat in the skip
response: You throw the resident cat into the skip.

The cat gets bored of being in the skip and jumps out.
action: You put the cat in the skip
response: (first taking the resident cat)

You pick her up and she miaows with minor concern.

You throw the resident cat into the skip.
action: Blow whistle
response: You give the whistle a sharp blow, and in moments Patrisnake Ksshss arrives to survey the skip.

"So," starts Ksssnsss, "a magnificent performance, you have found all the mammalian items!"

"But you're much too clever by half..." he says, eating you whole. Lizards are not known for their appreciation of high-achievers.
action: You go north
response: The rest of the museum has been cleared already, your job lies in the back room through the little door to the east.
action: You go south
response: You are greeted by a sunny day on the steps of the museum. The grand entrance looms up to the north, while steps radiate out in all other directions. Going in such directions would, of course, be highly forbidden.

A dog is mourning here over the vaporised remains of its owner.
action: You go to the south
response: You really shouldn't stroll off from the museum: that is in direct violation of the commands of your lizard overlords.
action: Go south
response: You boldly stride beyond the confines of the museum, rebelling against your less-than-benevolent overlords.