Vault of Hugo II: Electric Boogaloo
by Jonathan Blask (2011)
Genres: Humor

Small game written for the PAX East 2011 Speed-IF. You play as a roguish space pirate in the future! Today, you're going to plunder a long lost museum devoted to interactive fiction.

action: %
response: The future's not what it's cracked up to be! Jetpacks and joybooths are cool and all, but you've always had a special place in your heart for history and its artefacts- so much that it was long ago that you decided you wanted to be a roguish space pirate (way before it was considered cool, in fact).

Vault of Hugo II: Electric Boogaloo

Hugo v3.1 / Library 31031

This place is pretty amazing. Of course, your attention is mainly drawn to the north, where the big Hugo Vault Door keep you from its treasures. Also somewhat neat is the desk near it. You came from the east, but there was a cave-in just moments ago, trapping you. Luckily, there seems to be a room past a tight squeeze to the southwest.
action: You go to the east
response: The way back to the ALAN Wing has been blocked by a cave-in. Those plaques written in Comic Sans are inaccessible to you for now.
action: Examine vault
response: This thing is the real deal. There's no way you're getting this bad boy open without some serious firepower.
action: You look at the desk
response: This is quite a sturdy work desk. On top of it is a typewriter, and behind the typewriter is an output tray for sheets of paper to fall into.

The desk has the 100 year old awesomatic-typewriter and an output tray on it.
action: You look in tray
response: The output tray is empty.
action: You examine Typewriter
response: Unbelievable! Everybody remembers the "automatypewriter" that predates this one, but not many remember the Awesomatic-Typewriter that came much later, playing only Hugo games. This one seems to be in the middle of a game of "Quest For Museum" and is currently waiting for a command. If you feel up to the challenge, TYPE "COMMAND" ON TYPEWRITER.
action: Go southwest
response: You'd never make that squeeze while carrying anything!
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying a landmine.
action: You examine the landmine
response: The only thing you have left- after using all of your good ordnance raiding this museum- is your trusty landmine. With its hair-trigger mechanism, it'll explode at a moment's notice. It may not be the safest kind of landmine to carry around on one's person, but hey, they are among the cheapest! It is roughly 8 by 10 inches in length and fires powerful shrapnel in all directions.
action: You put the landmine in the tray
response: You put the landmine in the output tray.
action: Go southwest
response: It's a tight fit, but you make it, finding yourself in...

What a weird place. Some graffiti lines the concrete walls, but the real star of the room is the little creepy coffin at its center. Also, did I mention that the floor is dusty?
action: You look at the floor
response: What a horribly dirty floor! Where's the abandoned museum cleaning staff?
action: You examine the coffin
response: Creepy! Little! Coffin! It is closed.
action: You look at the graffiti
response: It reads, "Don't you hate spelling 'graffiti' right in IF games???"
action: Open coffin
response: Scary stuff! With great trepidation, you slowly open up the coffin's lid. Shockingly enough, the contents are revealed to be a hand vacuum (a dustbuster, ya know?). Somebody here had a sense of humor.
action: You take the vacuum
response: Taken.
action: Vacuum dust
response: In a fit of dustbusting fever, you attack the dusty floor with the dustbuster. Your efforts are rewarded by revealing a trapdoor. Huzzah!
action: You open the trapdoor
response: Opened.

Inside the trapdoor is a game walkthrough.
action: You read it
response: (assuming you mean the game walkthrough)
Somebody hid away this walkthrough for the game "Quest For Museum." There are lots of little comments making snide remarks about the game itself. Interestingly, there's a note that the command >SCRAPE PARROT at any point results in the biggest infodump in the game.
action: You drop all
response: dustbuster: Dropped.
game walkthrough: Dropped.
action: You go northeast
response: It's a tight fit, but you make it, finding yourself in...

This place is pretty amazing. Of course, your attention is mainly drawn to the north, where the big Hugo Vault Door keep you from its treasures. Also somewhat neat is the desk near it. You came from the east, but there was a cave-in just moments ago, trapping you. Luckily, there seems to be a room past a tight squeeze to the southwest.
action: You look at Typewriter
response: Unbelievable! Everybody remembers the "automatypewriter" that predates this one, but not many remember the Awesomatic-Typewriter that came much later, playing only Hugo games. This one seems to be in the middle of a game of "Quest For Museum" and is currently waiting for a command. If you feel up to the challenge, TYPE "COMMAND" ON TYPEWRITER.

The page finishes printing and falls into the output tray without much fanfare. Uninterested with the result, you instantly throw the paper away- NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN.
action: You put the landmine in the tray
response: You put the landmine in the output tray.