Nautilisia
by Ryan Veeder (2012)
Genres: Humor

Your friend claims to be in a coma.

action: %
response: I know, I know I know, we're gonna be late. But here's the thing: I'm in a coma. Yeah.

And my brain has put together this bizarre fantasy world, to try and keep me sane, or protect my fragile psyche from the trauma ofâ¦ whatever the coma is about, and I can't wake up until I escape from the dream-world. And that's gonna take a while, because I am really comfortable. I mean in the dream-world and also in the real world, right here.

So I don't have a lot of incentive. To wake up, I mean.

So I don't have a lot of incentive. To wake up, I mean.Well, if you're gonna be so stubborn about it, you can come in the dream-world and solve all the extremely symbolic puzzles and "rescue" me from my delusions. I guess it's only fair to let you try.

delusions. I guess it's only fair to let you try.But hold on. I said hold on! Let me think of a name. For the dream-world. It has to be sufficiently fantasy-sounding, but it also has to be obviously symbolic of something. Hmm.

symbolic of something. Hmm.Okay, I've got it.

symbolic of something. Hmm.Okay, I've got it.## Nautilisia
A bizarre and whimsical dream-world steeped in pseudo-Jungian symbolism, by Ryan Veeder

Yeah, it's a stupid name, but it's the best I can come up with.

Okay, so you start out in this stately manor. It's like stately Wayne manor, in that it's on top of a hill, and it's very expansive and full of expensive things, but there's no labyrinthine cave system underneath it. There's even a big grandfather clock in here, that symbolizes punctuality, but it doesn't tell the time. Because it's a dream!

You can go outside by going south. Just because it's a dream doesn't mean there aren't still compass directions. Work with me.
action: About yourself
response: You look like yourself. Don't overthink it.
action: You look at the clock
response: There aren't even any hands! Or numbers! The face of the clock is just a spinning, spiraling shape, and when you look at it you realize that time is meaningless.

There's also that chamber underneath the face, where they keep the pendulums.

In the big grandfather clock are some zig-zaggy pendulums.
action: You look at the pendulums
response: There's two of them, and they're made out of this white iridescent substance. And they're in a weird shape, like, a zig-zag shape. They're basically two long white zig-zags.

They're just hanging there inside the clock.
action: You open the clock
response: Okay so you open up the clock and there are these two pendulums inside. I don't know how they work.
action: You take the pendulums
response: You pick up the zig-zaggy pendulums.
action: You wave them
response: You look ridiculous waving the zig-zaggy pendulums.
action: You feel the pendulums
response: The pendulums have a mechanical smoothless and angularity.
action: Taste pendulums
response: Man, how does eating stuff even work in dreams? Can you taste in a dream?

This reminds me of that joke about the guy who dreamed he was eating a big marshmallow and when he woke up his pillow was gone. But I don't think there's any actual food items in this dream.

Actually, that gives me an idea. Here: You taste the zig-zaggy pendulums, and in accordance with the deranged dream-logic of tastes, the zig-zaggy pendulums taste like bananas.
action: You put the pendulums in the clock
response: You put the zig-zaggy pendulums into the big grandfather clock.
action: You look at the pendulums
response: There's two of them, and they're made out of this white iridescent substance. And they're in a weird shape, like, a zig-zag shape. They're basically two long white zig-zags.

They're just hanging there inside the clock.
action: You look around
response: It's like stately Wayne manor, in that it's on top of a hill, and it's very expansive and full of expensive things, but there's no labyrinthine cave system underneath it. There's even a big grandfather clock in here, that symbolizes punctuality, but it doesn't tell the time. Because it's a dream!

You can go outside by going south.
action: You pull the pendulums
response: You pull on the pendulums and they detach, almost as if you were meant to carry them around with you.
action: You take them
response: You already have those.
action: You take the expensive things
response: You better not screw around with those expensive things too much. They're pretty expensive.
action: You take the clock
response: No, you can't go running around the stately manor. I don't have the creative energy to decide what's in there. Just pretend there's a curse or something on the rest of the manor, and the curse is keeping you from going to any rooms other than the one you're in. If you want to leave, you can go south.

No, you don't get it. This clock is huge.
action: You go to the south
response: As you exit the manor and symbolically shed the shackles of civilization, the sweet summer wind blows like a piccolo song across your weathered brow.

So, from up here in front of the stately manor, you can see all the rest of the island, which I don't know if I've mentioned this yet but my dream world has taken the form of an island. To your right, which is west of you if you're facing south, is a thick jungle, with leaves that are deep greens and purples in their colors. It symbolizes the terror and the wonderment of the unknown. But it is impenetrable to you from where you're standing.

Down the hill to the southwest is a white sandy beach. I'll tell you what it symbolizes when you get there.
action: You listen
response: You can't see any such thing.

The sweet summer wind is still blowing like a piccolo song.
action: Go southwest
response: The gulf that this enchanted beach envelops is itself enchanted, or ensorcelled, with a magical glamour which makes
everyone who sees it want to just sit around and take a break for once in their lives. It symbolizes taking a break for once in your life. Only you are able to resist this enchantment, because you alone are so incredibly uptight about getting stuff done all the time and being on time for things.

Back to the northeast is the hill, and over to the west is that dark, scary jungle.

A little ways out into the water is a white ship, pitching and yawing on the restless sea.

A Siren is here, sitting and singing on a coral reef.
action: You examine the jungle
response: The jungle is thick, and leafy. It represents... what did I say it represented? Maybe danger?
action: You examine Siren
response: A Siren is actually supposed to be a bird-woman, I guess, but I want this sea-maid to be more like a mermaid. From the hips down she is one hundred percent fish, but from the fish up she is one hundred percent woman, with long, streaming hair.

And she's singing a song, but it's not like she's gonna hypnotize you or anything. She's not evil. She symbolizes the beauty that can be found in life if you don't take everything so seriously all the time

She's wearing a girdle, which is kind of a curvy belt kind of thing.
action: Xyzzy
response: A hollow voice puts its hand over your mouth and says "Shush!"
action: You look at the girdle
response: The Siren's girdle is a pale, opalescent belt thing, pulled snug around her waist. It is the only thing she's wearing.
action: You look at the boat
response: Apparently wrecked here on the shallow reef. It's white, and shiny, like something out of a dream. I mean, it literally is in this dream that I'm describing to you right now. It symbolizes... Actually, go in there first; give me a second to think about this.
action: You listen
response: The Siren sings in what might be a Romance language, or might be random dream-syllables: "SerÃ© una ola. SerÃ© la luna. He sido
todo,
soy yo."
action: Swim
response: You paddle out toward the white ship.

When you are inside the ship, you realize that it symbolizes loneliness. Specifically, loneliness brought on by being an artist, which all artists suffer from deep inside their souls. This is the ship of pearl, which painters sail into the seas of paint, and which sculptors sail across seas of clay, and of marble, searching for the distant moorages of inspiration. I could keep going, but you don't seem to be as into this as I am so I guess I'll stop.

The interior of the ship is lit by a pale, eerie luminescence.

It looks like whatever painter or poet who piloted this craft last left their leather trunk in here.
action: You examine the trunk
response: A large leather trunk, scratched and pitted by the slings and arrows of being lugged all over the place for years and years. It symbolizes mystery. The mysterious initials OWH are inscribed on top.

It has a big lock thing on it, but no keyhole: Instead, there's just two depressions in the front, in the shape of the astrological symbol for Aquarius. See? Symbolism.
action: You open the trunk
response: It seems to be locked.
action: You put the pendulums in the depressions
response: You insert the pendulums into the depressions, and they click into place. The pendulums were the symbol for Aquarius all along, and the symbol was the key to the trunk! You solved the mystery!

The trunk opens, revealing a wreathÃ¨d horn.
action: You take the horn
response: You pick up the horn from the trunk; it has a strange weight to it.
action: You examine the horn
response: You find nothing of interest.

It's a huge conical, spiral shell of the type you often find on islands, like in that book, Animal Farm. Wait, that's not it.
That wasn't even on an island. What book am I thinking of?

It looks like somebody has already drilled a hole in it for you to blow into.
action: You listen to the horn
response: You put your ear up to the wreathÃ¨d horn, and as if by magic you hear the soft sighing of a person in a coma, waiting to be awoken. Or maybe you're just hearing the noise of your own blood vessels, multiplied in the conical natural echo chamber. Since this is a magical dream world, it could be either one.
action: Taste horn
response: According to the dream-logic of tastes, the wreathÃ¨d horn tastes like Bavarian cream.
action: You examine the horn
response: It's a huge conical, spiral shell of the type you often find on islands, like in that book I can't remember. Shoot, what was it?

It looks like somebody has already drilled a hole in it for you to blow into.
action: You examine the horn
response: It's a huge conical, spiral shell of the type you often find on islands, like in... Oh! Lord of the Flies. I knew I'd
remember it eventually.

It looks like somebody has already drilled a hole in it for you to blow into.
action: Blow horn
response: You start to blow into the horn, but the tremendous sound that emerges is too much for you to handle. It symbolizes the conclusion of the individuation process, which, if attained prematurely, would result in a psychological short-circuit. What I'm saying is, this is not the time or place for unleashing the power of the horn.
action: Swim
response: You leave the ship and swim back toward the shore.

The gulf that this enchanted beach envelops is itself enchanted, or ensorcelled, with a magical glamour which makes
everyone who sees it want to just sit around and take a break for once in their lives. It symbolizes taking a break for once in your life. Only you are able to resist this enchantment, because you alone are so incredibly uptight about getting stuff done all the time and being on time for things.

Back to the northeast is the hill, and over to the west is that dark, scary jungle.

A little ways out into the water is a white ship, pitching and yawing on the restless sea.

A Siren is here, sitting and singing on a coral reef.
action: You listen siren
response: The Siren smiles and says hello. She is extremely helpful and would love to tell you about anything you want to ask her about.

I only understood you as far as wanting to listen.
action: You ask Siren about herself
response: She smiles. She says she's doing just fine, thanks for asking.
action: You ask Siren about Nautilisia
response: "You have to understand," explains the Siren, "After you solve all the puzzles, the dream will be over. It's in the nature of dreams, to end. And when the sleeper awakens, Nautilisia will be gone... only the memory of this dream land will exist in the waking world.

"But someday, you might recall this island... That memory must be the real Nautilisia."

She smiles. "I stole that speech from a video game."
action: You ask Siren about the girdle
response: "Do you like it?" she asks. "I got it on Etsy for like sixteen bucks."
action: You ask Siren about horn
response: When you bring up the wreathÃ¨d horn, the Siren's eyes go wide. "That horn is an artifact of tremendous psychic potential!" she whispers. "Either that, or it symbolizes psychic potential."
action: You ask Siren about the beach
response: The Siren says she isn't crazy about sand. You can't blame her, really. Sand is annoying sometime.
action: Dig
response: The Siren sees you digging and freaks out. "Great!" she yells. "Dig it! Dig it! Dig to the center of the earth!!"
action: You examine coral
response: Coral is super scratchy, you know that? It cuts you open and then the saltwater gets in there and it stings like a mother. This dream coral symbolizes the fundamental painfulness of existence.

I guess I don't know why the Siren is sitting on it then.
action: You ask Siren about the gulf
response: The Siren looks out to the sea and sighs. "This island symbolizes a lot of things," she says. "A lot of things." She sighs again.
action: You take the coral
response: That's hardly portable.
action: You break the coral
response: Don't start with that stuff. Nautilisia is a safe place, a peaceful place. Play along a little.
action: Sing
response: When you start singing, the Siren glares at you and starts singing louder. So you stop singing.
action: You fly
response: You hop up in the air, but are unable to stay aloft. I've never been able to fly in a dream, so I'm deciding you can't fly either.
action: Dance
response: Your dancing is abominable! Quit ruining my dream-world!
action: Sleep
response: No, I'm already asleep. A person in a coma is always asleep basically.
action: Kiss siren
response: The Siren isn't the type to get all sexy on you unprovoked, but since you decided to initiate things, the Siren goes ahead and rocks
your world.
action: Kiss siren
response: When you move in for some more action, the Siren does that thing where she pulls her head away at the last moment. So annoying.
action: You look at the hair
response: (the long streaming hair)
Her hair is black. Long and black and wet. It's all the more black for its being wet.The strands are all tangled up after a long day of swimming around, though, and she seems a bit frustrated at this.

But I can't decide whether her hair should cover up her boobs or not. I mean, maybe it's not very important, but I'm getting hung up on it anyway. For now I'm gonna say it covers up... neither boob.
action: You examine the boobs
response: As you gaze upon the Siren's boobs, which apparently the Siren does not mind you doing, I am going to decide whether they're covered up by her hair or not. It's not a completely arbitrary question, you know. This kind of detail does a lot to determine the overall tone of my dream world.

I'm gonna say... just the left boob is covered up.
action: You look at the left breast
response: Oh, come on. Let's be mature, okay? Just say "boobs."
action: You examine the boobs
response: As you gaze upon the Siren's boobs, which apparently the Siren does not mind you doing, I am going to decide whether they're covered up by her hair or not. It's not a completely arbitrary question, you know. This kind of detail does a lot to determine the overall tone of my dream world.

I'm gonna say... both boobs are covered up.
action: Brush hair
response: Which do you mean, your hair or the long streaming hair?
action: Yes
response: Yeah! Yeah, exactly.
action: No
response: No?
action: You go west
response: I keep forgetting what this jungle is supposed to symbolize. I think it was intrigue. The branches, heavy with purple leaves, lean down toward you in a vaguely threatening way. It's a scary experience, but it's also kind of exciting. That's the fun of being in a coma-induced dream world.

A rough path through the vegetation leads from the gulf to the east to a clearing in the northwest.

A long vine hangs from the trees, swaying like a snake in front of your face.
action: You examine vine
response: It dances hypnotically before your vision. It's a symbol of risk. You have to take risks, see? Otherwise you can't get anywhere in life.
action: You climb the vine
response: After giving a little resistance, the vine falls to the ground, dislodging something from the branches in the process.

When the entire length of the vine has fallen, it turns into a giant green snake, which slithers off into the jungle. That snake symbolizes the horrible things that can happen when you take risks.

The thing you dislodged finally hits the ground. It's a shell, a venus comb. That thing could have killed you!

You see what happens when you take risks?
action: You examine comb
response: It's a seashell, spiral in shape and conical in form, but it's covered in dozens of long, skinny spines, like a hairbrush designed by H.R. Giger. It symbolizes beauty as a desirable but fundamentally dangerous aspect of experience.
action: You get the shell
response: (the venus comb)
Taken.
action: You comb the hair
response: The venus comb pokes your hand something fierce, but it straightens your hair out nicely. When I say "your hand" and "your hair" I mean "your dream-hand" and "your dream-hair," obviously.
action: You go east
response: The gulf that this enchanted beach envelops is itself enchanted, or ensorcelled, with a magical glamour which makes
everyone who sees it want to just sit around and take a break for once in their lives. It symbolizes taking a break for once in your life. Only you are able to resist this enchantment, because you alone are so incredibly uptight about getting stuff done all the time and being on time for things.

Back to the northeast is the hill, and over to the west is that dark, scary jungle.

A little ways out into the water is a white ship, pitching and yawing on the restless sea.

A Siren is here, sitting and singing on a coral reef.
action: You comb long hair
response: As you approach her hair with the dangerous shell, the Siren's eyes go wide.

"Is this what I think it is? Where on earth did you find this? Well, anyway, thank you."

She takes the comb from you and immediately starts brushing her hair.

"I suppose it's customary to repay you somehow, right? Well, here."

She takes off her girdle, which dream-logically turns into... something else, I guess, and hands it to you.
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying:
a Siren's girdle
a wreathÃ¨d horn
action: You look at the girdle
response: Now that she's not wearing it, the Siren's girdle has turned into more of a two-dimensional curvy H shape, like a crude drawing of a girdle being worn around an hourglass waist. It's still pale and opalescent, though.
action: You go west
response: I keep forgetting what this jungle is supposed to symbolize. I think it was the unknown. The branches, heavy with purple leaves, lean down toward you in a vaguely threatening way. It's a scary experience, but it's also kind of exciting. That's the fun of being in a coma-induced dream world.

A rough path through the vegetation leads from the gulf to the east to a clearing in the northwest.
action: Go northwest
response: This is an open area in the jungle, symbolizing the eye of the
storm. It isn't the center of the jungle, but it's the center of
your experience at this point in time. It's like the guy says: Wherever you go, there you are.

The path leading back into the jungle is southeast of here, but to your north is a rock wall, carved with a curious design.
action: You examine the design
response: It's a carving, a depression kind of thing, in the shape of the astrological symbol for Pisces.
action: You put the girdle in the carving
response: The girdle, which was all along the symbol for Pisces, fits perfectly into the slot on the wall. Both of them dissolve into a silver mist. You overcame the dream logic and defeated the puzzle!

This is my favorite one, by the way. Because I'm a Pisces. Anyway, good job.

It turns out that behind the rock is a huge cave.
action: You look around
response: This is an open area in the jungle, symbolizing the eye of the
storm. It isn't the center of the jungle, but it's the center of
your experience at this point in time. It's like the guy says: Wherever you go, there you are.

The path leading back into the jungle is southeast of here, but to your north is the mouth of an awesome-looking cave.
action: You go north
response: You have finally found your way to the Caves of Thought. This cave represents thought, and thinking. There are stalactites and stalagmites and that kind of thing, but the area has been kept mostly empty, so as not to distract from your meditations as you approach the center of the island.

The tunnel continues to the northeast, but if you want you can return to the light and air of the clearing to the south.
action: You say the echo
response: (to yourself)
There is no reply.
action: You go to the northeast
response: This cave represents deep thought. See, there are always deeper levels of thought. Getting really deep in thought is a necessary step on the path to self-attainment. So, keep going.

The way out is southwest, but the deeper caves are to the east.
action: You examine the stalactites
response: I actually don't remember the difference. Stalagmites might... They might something. Man, this is gonna keep me up all night. Or it would, if I wasn't in a coma.
action: You go east
response: I know, it probably seems like there are too many sections in this cave. I totally understand why you would feel that way. But having a bunch of caves like this is a necessity. It's called
"pacing." Just trust me.

Even deeper caves are to the south; the less deep caves are west of here.
action: Sing
response: Danke Schoen, darling, Danke Schoen,
Thank you for all the joy and pain...
action: You go to the south
response: Okay, okay, here for once is something more interesting than just more caves.

At this curve in the tunnel, the east wall is made up of a bunch of rocks. I mean, the whole place is made out of rocks, but these rocks are smaller and... rubblier.

The cave continues to the north and southwest.
action: Taste rocks
response: According to the dream-logic of tastes, the wall of rocks tastes like glue.
action: You take the rocks
response: You pull out one of the rocks from the wall. The rest of the rocks immediately fall down in a big pile.

But then: a rush of air! A shaft of light! You've uncovered a path to the surface. Nice job!

Let's say this symbolizes an act of mutual recognition between your conscious and unconscious minds. I mean, my conscious and unconscious minds. Either way, good going.
action: You look at your surroundings
response: Here's the place in the tunnel where there's an exit to the surface instead of an east wall.

The cave continues to the north and southwest.
action: You go east
response: So, from up here in front of the stately manor, you can see all the rest of the island. An entrance has opened into the caves beneath the jungle to the west of you.

Down the hill to the southwest is a white sandy beach.
action: Go north
response: It's like stately Wayne manor, in that it's on top of a hill, and it's very expansive and full of expensive things, but there's no labyrinthine cave system underneath it. Well okay, I guess actually there turned out to be a labyrinthine cave system underneath it,
sorry to disappoint you.

There's even a big grandfather clock in here, that symbolizes punctuality, but it doesn't tell the time. Because it's a dream!

You can go outside by going south.
action: Go southwest
response: Sorry, this is another room where there isn't really anything going on. I swear I'm not doing this just to frustrate you.

I know sometimes it seems like I'm doing stuff just to be annoying, but I always have a good reason. I mean, I always think I
have a good reason. Sometimes it turns out later that I didn't actually have a good reason, but I never start out with the intention of doing nothing but screwing with you.

The caves go northeast and northwest from here.
action: Go northwest
response: This is it. You have reached the deepest part of the caves. From here on out, you've still got underground rooms, but it's more like an ancient underground shrine than a plain old cave.

From here you can go back southeast, or you can go northeast, in which direction you can discern an unearthly glow.

But first, gaze into that pool of still water, and see the face of your destiny.
action: You examine the pool
response: In the pool is a goat-fish.
action: You examinthe goat-fish
response: It's a baby goat-fish. Maybe more of a kid-fish. It only has little nubby horns, and the fish end of it wriggles around energetically. This baby goat-fish represents youthful idealism, or youthful ignorance. I guess those are kind of the same thing.
action: You tastthe goat-fish
response: According to the dream-logic of tastes, the goat-fish tastes like pickles.
action: You asthe goat-fish about itself
response: You can only do that to something animate.
action: Swim
response: The pool is too small for you to swim in, so you shrink down to the size of a frog and swim around in it for a while. Then you return to your normal size.
action: Pet goat-fipet goat-fish
response: The goat-fish bleats contentedly as you nuzzle its goaty little face.
action: You takthe goat-fish
response: It takes a couple tries, but eventually you scoop the baby goat-fish up out of the pool. It emits a few high-pitched bleats and then it calms down in your comforting grasp.

The goat-fish bleats a little bleating song.
action: You squeeze it
response: You achieve nothing by this.

The goat-fish nibbles on your finger.
action: Look around
response: This is it. You have reached the deepest part of the caves.

From here you can go back southeast, or you can go northeast, in which direction you can discern an unearthly glow.

The baby goat-fish wriggles its way up your arm.
action: You examine the glow
response: It glimmers, or glistens, or maybe even glisters--no, I'd
better stick with glistens--with a radiance you find very slightly unnerving.

The kid-fish crawls up to your shoulder and tries to headbutt you in the neck.
action: You go to the north-east
response: This room is awash in light: In the south wall, an archway towers over you, glowing as if reflecting the brightness of a distant galaxy.

The room with the pool is back to the southwest, and it looks like there's a shortcut to the east. I put that shortcut there just for you.

The baby goat-fish almost falls to the ground, but you catch it.
action: You look at the archway
response: This archway is a symbol of the ultimate, I mean the penultimate barrier between my comatose mind and the outside world. It literally is that, but it's also symbolically that. The lines are beginning
to blur.

The path through the arch is blocked by a big door.

All of a sudden, the baby goat-fish yawns and falls asleep.
action: You examine the door
response: This idle door is actually the barrier you have to worry about. I guess if the arch is the symbolic barrier, then this door is the literal barrier. By "literal" here I mean "literal-within-the-dream-world."

In the door is another keyhole-depression, this one in the shape of, like, a V with a ridiculous curly thing attached to it.
action: You taste the fish
response: According to the dream-logic of tastes, the goat-fish tastes like pickles.
action: You put it in the door
response: See, that would make sense, but the goat-fish is a literal (dream-)goat-fish, not a Capricorn symbol. You've got a
classic confusion between signifier and signified on your hands.
action: You shake the fish
response: Aw, but it's so cute when it's sleeping! Just let it rest.
action: You examine the capricorn
response: (the goat-fish)
It's a baby goat-fish. Maybe more of a kid-fish. It only has little nubby horns, and the fish end of it wriggles around energetically. This baby goat-fish represents youthful idealism, or youthful ignorance. I guess those are kind of the same thing.
action: You put the capricorn in the depression
response: (the goat-fish in the keyhole-depression)
See, that would make sense, but the goat-fish is a literal (dream-)goat-fish, not a Capricorn symbol. You've got a
classic confusion between signifier and signified on your hands.

The baby goat-fish snores a little bleating snore.
action: Blow horn
response: You start to blow into the horn, but the tremendous sound that emerges is too much for you to handle. It symbolizes the conclusion of the individuation process, which, if attained prematurely, would result in a psychological short-circuit. What I'm saying is, this is not the time or place for unleashing the power of the horn.
action: Blow capricorn
response: (the goat-fish)
That's not something you can blow into. Or, at any rate, you don't need to blow into it. Let's do something else.
action: You drop it
response: No, no! You can't leave it here alone! It can't fend for itself!
action: You examine the fish
response: It's a baby goat-fish. Maybe more of a kid-fish. It only has little nubby horns, and the fish end of it wriggles around energetically. This baby goat-fish represents youthful idealism, or youthful ignorance. I guess those are kind of the same thing.
action: Go east
response: Here's the place in the tunnel where there's an exit to the surface instead of an east wall.

The cave continues to the north and southwest, and there's that tiny shortcut to the shining archway to the west.
action: Go east
response: So, from up here in front of the stately manor, you can see all the rest of the island. An entrance has opened into the caves beneath the jungle to the west of you.

Down the hill to the southwest is a white sandy beach.

The goat-fish burps in its sleep.
action: You ask Siren abouthe goat-fish
response: The Siren tells you she is extremely worried about the well-being of her little goat-fish Tarin, who got lost in a cave.
action: You feel streaming hair
response: The Siren is totally cool with your feeling her hair, which falls away like bashful silk through your fingers. She must use one heck of a conditioner.
action: You give the tarin to Siren
response: Her jaw drops. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh. You brought Tarin!"

The goat-fish leaps into the Siren's arms with a triumphant bleat and she immediately begins cooing over it.

"You know, I actually have the perfect reward for you. Check this out:" She produces a piece of pearlescent material from an invisible drawer or something.

"Do you recognize this? It's the symbol for Capricorn. It's thematically appropriate, because Tarin here is a goat-fish, right? Anyway, I want you to have it." She hands it to you.
action: You taste the streaming hair
response: According to the dream-logic of tastes, the long streaming hair tastes like finely-shredded dark chocolate.
action: You taste the capricorn
response: (the Capricorn symbol)
According to the dream-logic of tastes, the Capricorn symbol tastes like a goat-fish.
action: Go west
response: This room is awash in light: In the south wall, an archway towers over you, glowing as if reflecting the brightness of a distant galaxy.

The room with the pool is back to the southwest, and it looks like there's a shortcut to the east. I put that shortcut there just for you.
action: You examine the door
response: This idle door is actually the barrier you have to worry about. I guess if the arch is the symbolic barrier, then this door is the literal barrier. By "literal" here I mean "literal-within-the-dream-world."

In the door is another keyhole-depression, this one in the shape of, like, a V with a ridiculous curly thing attached to it.
action: You put the capricorn in the door
response: (the Capricorn symbol in the idle door)
The Capricorn symbol slides into place with a click. The door dematerializes, its constituent dream-atoms disappearing into the dream-aether.

Nice job! The path to the final challenge is now open.
action: Go south
response: You have reached the end of your quest. Here, at the center of Nautilisia, is the sunless crypt that symbolizes the spiritual and psychological profundity of the coma that I've been in all this time.

The ceiling above roils with irisdescent turmoil, symbolizing the conflux of emotions that are going on in my brain. A spiral design on the floor leads your gaze toward the center of the room, which is the center of the center of Nautilisia:

Lying prostrate on a dais of nacreous stone and wrapped in webs of gauze is my own comatose body.
action: You examine the body
response: That's definitely me. You'd know my face anywhere. And I'm definitely, definitely in a coma. This symbolizes the fact that I'm in a coma right now.

So, this is the final puzzle! How can you possibly wake me up, and release my mind from this nice nap? I mean, this coma?
action: You look at the spiral
response: You're gonna have to take my word for it, but the spiral on the floor is a logarithmic spiral with a growth factor of about 1.6180339887. This symbolizes the mathematical perfection of pure thought.
action: Taste body
response: According to the dream-logic of tastes, the comatose body tastes like a comatose person. What is wrong with you.
action: You look at the dais
response: The word "nacreous" looks like it means "gross," but it actually refers to the texture of nacre, i.e. mother-of-pearl. So you can imagine this dais as like a great big pearl growing out of the floor.

I guess when I put it that way it sounds kind of gross anyway.
action: You taste dais
response: According to the dream-logic of tastes, the dais of nacreous stone tastes like asay Kleenex.
action: You look at the ceiling
response: The irised ceiling of the crypt casts all kinds of weird colored lights across the room, symbolizing the blurring of self, shadow, anima, and animus. It also symbolizes emotional turmoil. It symbolizes both things at the same time. That's part of the blurring.
action: Taste ceiling
response: According to the dream-logic of tastes, the irised ceiling tastes like the candy coating of an M&M.
action: You taste yourself
response: According to the dream-logic of tastes, yourself taste like vanilla ice cream.
action: Blow horn
response: When you put your lips to the wreathÃ¨d horn, it emits a huge, deep moan like a mob of whales singing in unison. The ceiling rumbles. The sleeper stirs.

I'm trying to decide how many times you should have to blow the horn to make me wake up. How about nine?
action: No
response: The conch blasts again, like waves crashing on a glass beach. The vibrations shake the irised ceiling.

Yeah, nine is probably too many. How about seven?

Fine. Because I like you: three times. Just one more time.

No?

No?
action: Blow horn
response: You blow into the wreathÃ¨d horn again, with a tone like a hurricane inside a crystal bell.

Then the ceiling cracks, and shatters, and the light of the sun, symbolizing the clarity of conscious thought, shines into the previously sunless crypt, which symbolizes the stagnancy of
absolute introspection, right onto my unconscious body, which symbolizes me.
And then everything goes white.
And now I'm awake. Look, see? I'm awake. We can get going now.
Anyway, thanks for putting up with all that nonsense. I know I probably goof off too much, and it gets to be a pain some of the time. I really do want both of us to have fun, even if some of the time the only one having any fun is me. So I really appreciate your tolerance. I guess "tolerance" isn't the right word. You know what I mean.
action: You sit on the reef
response: When you sit on the reef, it scratches your butt. I'm trying not to be sadistic, but you make it so easy sometimes.
action: You take the reef
response: That's hardly portable.
action: Taste reef
response: According to the dream-logic of tastes, the bare coral reef tastes like .
action: You take a the break
response: All right. Let me tell you how it's done.
Sit down on the sand and close your eyes. Listen to the nice lady singing. Listen to the wind.
action: You sit down
response: See? Nothing is urgent. Everything will happen when it needs to happen.
Maybe the moon is shining through some palm leaves. Maybe an old man is tuning his violin. Maybe it starts to rain a little, but then it stops.
Okay, open your eyes. There. Wasn't that nice?
action: Kiss body
response: Oh! Oh, that's adorable! That wasn't the solution I had in mind, but maybe it should work. Do you think that should be what wakes me up?
action: Yes
response: All right, then. When you kiss me, it'll break the psychic spell, and Nautilisia will disappear, but I'll finally wake up from this coma and we can get going to whatever it is you think is so important.
action: No
response: Okay, that's fine. Let's say you kiss me, but nothing happens. Go ahead and try to figure out the "real" solution.
action: You kill body
response: Ow! Ow! Stop! STOP. Seriously, stop.
action: You take the gauze
response: No no no no! I'm not wearing anything under those webs.