Which Describes How You're Feeling
by Adam Parrish (2012)
Genres: Apollo 18 Tribute Album


action: %
response: Sigh. In retrospect, admitting yourself to this overseas sanitarium was a bad idea. The grounds here are beautiful, and the food is divine, but you're becoming impatient with the doctorsâdoctors whose techniques could be charitably described as "unorthodox." Very little psychotherapy, and a bit too much word play. In any case, your disabling malaise has proven unshakeable.

Today, you face your final evaluation with Dr. Schuyler. If you pass, you'll be able to leave this place, perhaps to renew your attempts at recuperation elsewhere. If you fail, the doctors might recommend that you remain...



You find yourself, once again, in Dr. Schuyler's spacious and tastefully decorated office.

The doctor is here. He holds a clipboard and a pen, and sits in his chair with impeccable posture. "Let's begin your evaluation," he says, and turns over a nearby egg timer.

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
cold?"

(You've been preparing for this. You must respond by saying NO I'M FEELING X, where X is a word that rhymes with Dr. Schuyler's suggested emotion. Type fastâyou only have sixty seconds!)
action: No you're feeling old
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... courageous?"
action: No you're feeling outrageous
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
forced?"
action: No you're feeling divorced
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
horny?"
action: No you're feeling thorny
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
bright?"
action: No you're feeling right
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... delighted?"
action: No you're feeling smited
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
clever?"
action: No you're feeling whatever
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
down?"
action: No you're feeling brown
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
brave?"
action: No you're feeling grave
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... pessimistic?"
action: No you're feeling optimistic
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... surprised?"
action: No you're feeling despised
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
saucy?"
action: No you're feeling bossy
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
furious?"
action: No you're feeling curious
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
provoked?"
action: No you're feeling smoked
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... diminished?"
action: No you're feeling finished
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
flat?"
action: No you're feeling fat
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... acrimonious?"
action: No you're feeling sanctimonious
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
serene?"
action: No you're feeling green
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... depressed?"
action: No you're feeling repressed
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
enraged?"
action: No you're feeling deranged
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
numb?"
action: No you're feeling glum
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
annoyed?"
action: No you're feeling buoyed
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
wary?"
action: No you're feeling aquamarine
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
pained?"
action: No you're feeling brained
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
relieved?"
action: No you're feeling paranoid
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
nervous?"
action: No you're feeling chivalrous
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
alarmed?"
action: No you're feeling charmed
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... diminished?"
action: No you're feeling drained
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
sore?"
action: No you're feeling yours
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
inferior?"
action: No you're feeling superiour
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... afflicted?"
action: No you're feeling evicted
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
content?"
action: No you're feeling portent
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... despicable?"
action: No you're feeling inextricable
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
strong?"
action: No you're feeling thong
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
furious?"
action: No you're feeling bi-curious
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
desolate?"
action: No you're feeling resonate
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... suspicious?"
action: No you're feeling delicious
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
polite?"
action: No you're feeling delicious
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling... aggressive?"
action: Feeling transgressive
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
uneasy?"
action: No you're feeling queasy
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
rejected?"
action: From the time
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
offended?"
action: No you're feeling schmoffended
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
blithe?"
action: No you're feeling lithe
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
content?"
action: No you're feeling so bent
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
gloomy?"
action: No you're feeling roomy
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
shocked?"
action: No you're feeling defrocked
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
annoyed?"
action: No you're feeling club floyd
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
dull?"
action: No you're feeling bull
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
shocked?"
action: No you're feeling glocked
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
pleased?"
action: No you're feeling squeezed
response: "Very interesting!" says the doctor. He makes a checkmark on his clipboard. "I think we're making progress."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
fearful?"
action: No you're feeling earful
response: "Hmmm," responds the doctor with disapproval. "Your emotions are strangely... discordant. Let's try another."

The doctor asks, "Would you describe yourself as feeling...
tense?"
action: Y.
response: cheapglulxe quit with exit status: 0