Sheep Crossing
by Andrew Geng (2020)
Genres: Humor

Sometimes you get an impulse you know you'd regret--especially in the face of an arbitrary task of questionable value. So when Grandmother asks you to bring her a cabbage, a sheep, and a stinky bear, what could possibly go wrong?

action: You examine cabbage
response: The cabbage is wet.
action: You examine the sheep
response: The sheep looks warily back at you.
action: You examine the bear
response: The bear is chubby.
action: You take the sheep
response: The sheep evades your attempts to pick it up. All you get for your efforts is a hungry "BAAA."
action: You put the sheep in the boat
response: (first taking the sheep)
The sheep evades your attempts to pick it up. All you get for your efforts is a hungry "BAAA."
action: You take the grass
response: You pull up some blades of grass.
action: You give the grass to sheep
response: (the blades of grass to the sheep)
*crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

The sheep bleats contentedly. Maybe it'll be more cooperative now.
action: You put the sheep in the boat
response: (first taking the sheep)
The boat sloshes as you deposit the sheep.
action: You enter the boat
response: You get into the boat.

In the boat you can see a sheep.
action: You enter the boat
response: You get into the boat.
action: You take the bear
response: (first getting out of the boat)
The bear is a bit heavy, but with its cooperation you manage to pick it up.
action: You put the bear in the boat
response: The boat sloshes as you deposit the bear.
action: You enter the boat
response: You get into the boat.

In the boat you can see a bear.
action: You take the cabbage
response: The cabbage is a bit heavy, but you manage to pick it up.
action: You enter the boat
response: (first putting the cabbage in the boat)
You get into the boat.
action: You enter the boat
response: You get into the boat.
action: You put the sheep in the boat
response: (first getting out of the boat)
The sheep is already here.
action: You take the sheep
response: The sheep is a bit heavy, but with its cooperation you manage to pick it up.
action: You enter the boat
response: (first putting the sheep in the boat)
You get into the boat.
action: Y.
response: *crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

It tastes like guilt.
action: You eat the cabbage
response: (first taking the cabbage)
You're carrying too many things already.
action: You eat the cabbage
response: (first taking the cabbage)
action: You drop the cabbage
response: The cabbage is already here.
action: You eat yourself
response: (first taking yourself)
You are always self-possessed.
action: You eat the boat
response: (first taking the boat)
The boat is a little too heavy for you to carry.
action: You eat grass
response: (first taking the grass in the ground)
You pull up some blades of grass.
action: You eat the grass
response: (the blades of grass)
Trichomes prick your tongue as you eat the grass, leaving you with a stinging sensation and a bitter aftertaste. You have no idea why the sheep seems to like it so much.
action: You eat bear
response: (first taking the bear)
action: Y.
response: After a brief struggle, the bear eats you instead.
action: Xyzzy
response: The sound of your voice dissipates feebly across the landscape. The sheep looks on warily.
action: Go north
response: Before you can get very far, you are called back by the anxious bleating of your sheep.
action: Drown bear
response: (first taking the bear)
You attempt to hurl the bear into the middle of the river. With its great weight, all you succeed in doing is dropping the bear into the shallows, where it lands with a great splash. You've barely turned back towards drier land when you're knocked off your feet by a heavy paw and sent tumbling into the water.
You sit up and clear your eyes to see the bear lolloping toward you. Is it angry, or just playing? The wind is knocked out of you a second time; and as you lie with your face in the mud and a crushing weight on your back, your last thought is that maybe the bear's intentions don't matter anyway.

*** You have been sat on by a bear. ***