Dr. Kong In: Plan DSDS From Practice Space
by Two Guys From The Other Bar (2011)
Genres: Horror

All you want is to have a good time at the party. But then the people at the club turn out to be less alive and more kicking, the music completely sucks, and to top it all off, someone has kidnapped your internet pal mandy95.

action: %
response: It's Saturday night, and it's time to kick out some jams. You've been working your ass off all week, with the radio blaring stories at you about how some stupid prick politician faked his dissertation, and you're in dire need of some bass and some beer. Good thing it's that part of the month again: Department of Volxvergnuegen is throwing one of their action-packed techno parties at Glockenbachwerkstatt!

Dr. Kong in: Plan DSDS from practice space (The Volxvergnuegen Adventure)
A time travel anomaly by Two Guys From The Other Bar

You are standing outside of the club. Basses are pumping. You can enter the building through a big green door to the north or go east around the corner to the side of the building.

Above you is the night sky.

TO GET SOME INFORMATION ABOUT THIS GAME, TYPE "INFO"

TO GET SOME HELP FOR PLAYING THIS GAME, TYPE "HELP".

You can see Technodude and Electrowoman here.
action: Info
response: Hello, and welcome. This is a special little game. It was written for the interactive fiction event in Munich that the culture collective called "department of volxvergnuegen" organized on May 7, 2011. At least parts of the game you're playing right now take place on said event, during which a workshop for writers took place, we screened GET LAMP by Jason Scott and people could play several interactive fiction games on a couple of terminals we provided. Ah yes, and we played the game you're playing right now collectively on the big screen, which was a lot of fun also, in spite of all its bugginess.

But now to my apologies. This is by no means a good game, if we take polished and well thought-out games like, well, let's face it, every single game that did well in the past 16 years of the Interactive Fiction Competition and compare them to our game; it was written in just a couple of weeks by me and my friend Anonymeuss (thanks to the rest of the Nerd Kru for making this insane story up, you know who you are!), and neither of us had ever written a piece of interactive fiction before. It's a very railroaded game and probably still pretty buggy, the puzzles aren't too avant-garde and it features long deserts of text that make the opening of Oliver Ullmann's "The Duel That Spanned The Ages" look like a four-line poem. But we still think our crazy little story is pretty funny and we hope you'll give it a spin. If you head over to
[LINK]
ms/258.html,
you can find some pictures from the event that could get you in the mood (or if you locate the pictures folder on the disc in your game package). Most of our crew were dressed the way they are described in the game, and Jason Scott played along nicely too. This leads us to our thank you-list:

Thanks to the amazing Jason Scott, who made this wonderful movie, was absolutely hilarious on skype and said the silly things i asked him to say (apart from being generally awesome). Cheers!

I cannot thank enough all the members of the volxvergnuegen team who made this day very special. From designing and preparing all those gorgeous visuals to selling the drinks: You were amazing, and this game is dedicated to you.

Thanks to Michael Baltes, Oliver Ullmann, Marius Müller, Ingo Scharmann and Martin Barth for hosting the workshop and exterminating some of the worst bugs, see you soon!

And last but not least: Thank YOU, dear player, for still reading this. I sincerely hope you can at least get a good laugh while playing our game. Comments, suggestions,bug reports, death threats are best sent to colin.djukic@googlemail.com.

HAVE FUN.
action: About yourself
response: As good-looking as ever.
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying:
some money
some change for cigarettes
a fartroid smartphone
a tattered shoulder-bag (being worn and closed)
an apple
action: You examine the money
response: It's money. It stinks.
action: You examine the change
response: Some change for buying cigarettes.
action: You look at the smartphone
response: A Rottorola.

The fartroid smartphone is currently switched off.
action: You look at the bag
response: Your trusty old bag. Made of black nylon, it has several little holes and scratches. A button depicting a guy throwing a swastika into a rubbish bin is attached to its flap.
action: You open the bag
response: You open the tattered shoulder-bag, revealing a red flyer.
action: You look at the flyer
response: It's the flyer for last month's Volxvergnuegen event. A red foil which makes the underlying text readable. (Hint: If you haven't got one, you better get one!) It was some kind of text adventure event. Too bad you couldn't make it.
action: You examine the apple
response: It's green.

There's a sticker on the apple! You pull it off.
action: You look at the sticker
response: It says: "I'm so green".
action: You examine the Electrowoman
response: One of those bass-hungry females. At the moment, she's talking to Technodude.
action: You ask the Technodude about the flyer
response: He just asks: "Hey, are you on facebook?" without waiting for your reply.
action: You ask the Electrowoman about the flyer
response: She just asks: "Hey, are you on facebook?" without waiting for your reply.
action: You turn on the phone
response: You switch the fartroid smartphone on.
action: You examine the phone
response: A Rottorola.The device depicts the word "FARTROID" and boots up. You haven't installed any apps apart from the preinstalled Facebook app, but you have no clue how to activate the app.

The fartroid smartphone is currently switched on.
action: You turn off the phone
response: You switch the fartroid smartphone off.
action: Go north
response: You really wanna smoke a cigarette before entering. If you remember correctly, there's a cigarette machine east of the club.
action: You go to the east
response: You're standing east of the club, under the night sky. It's pretty quiet here. Steam rises from a grate in the pavement.

You can go back to the front door by moving south.

You can see a fag machine here.
action: You examine the machine
response: Your standard fare cigarette machine. You put change in, and usually, cigarettes pop out.
action: You put the change in the machine
response: The coins drop into the slot. After painfully proving that you are indeed old enough to smoke by sliding several ID and credit cards through a card reader and pressing your thumb onto some biometric device, a pack of your favorite brand of cigarettes lands on the pavement with a "thump".
action: You take the pack
response: Fuck, you forgot to bring a lighter with you! Whatever. Perhaps you can find a lighter inside the club.

Taken.
action: You examine grate
response: Steam is rising up from the grate by the side of the road. You can't see much down there, but the smell is pretty strange. You never noticed this grate before.
action: You look at the pack
response: Les Fleurs Du Mal, your favorite brand of death sticks. Every pack contains a poem by your personal Uber-Dandy, Charles Baudelaire!
action: You open the pack
response: You open the pack of fags, revealing a folded poem and sixteen cigarettes.
action: You examine the poem
response: The unfolded poem reads:

Behold the sweet evening, friend of the criminal;
It comes like an accomplice, stealthily; the sky
Closes slowly like an immense alcove,
And impatient man turns into a beast of prey.
O evening, kind evening, desired by him
Whose arms can say, without lying: "Today
We labored!" - It is the evening that comforts
Those minds that are consumed by a savage sorrow,
The obstinate scholar whose head bends with fatigue
And the bowed laborer who returns to his bed.

Awaken sluggishly, like businessmen,
And take flight, bumping against porch roofs and shutters.
Among the gas flames worried by the wind
Prostitution catches alight in the streets;
Like an ant-hill she lets her workers out;
Everywhere she blazes a secret path,
Like an enemy who plans a surprise attack;
She moves in the heart of the city of mire
Like a worm that steals from Man what he eats.
Here and there one hears food sizzle in the kitchens,
The theaters yell, the orchestras moan;

The gambling dens, where games of chance delight,
Fill up with whores and cardsharps, their accomplices;
The burglars, who know neither respite nor mercy,
Are soon going to begin their work, they also,
And quietly force open cash-boxes and doors
To enjoy life awhile and dress their mistresses.

Meditate, O my soul, in this solemn moment,
And close your ears to this uproar;
It is now that the pains of the sick grow sharper!
Somber Night grabs them by the throat; they reach the end
Of their destinies and go to the common pit;
The hospitals are filled with their sighs. - More than one
Will come no more to get his fragrant soup
By the fireside, in the evening, with a loved one.

However, most of them have never known
The sweetness of a home, have never lived!

- William Aggeler, The Flowers of Evil (Fresno, CA: Academy Library Guild, 1954)
action: You go south
response: You are standing outside of the club. Basses are pumping. You can enter the building through a big green door to the north or go east around the corner to the side of the building.

Above you is the night sky.

You can see Technodude and Electrowoman here.
action: You ask the Technodude about lighter
response: He just asks: "Hey, are you on facebook?" without waiting for your reply.
action: You listen
response: Basses. Louder. Inane Chatter.
action: You examine table
response: On the table here are a blue flyer and a card.
action: You examine the blue flyer
response: It's the flyer for the next event. It says "Department of Volxvergnuegen präsentiert: Die besten Wiesn-Hits aus den 60ern, 70ern und überhaupt: Super-Gaudi!!!!!". This must be a joke.
action: You look at the card
response: It just says 14,99. That's odd. Usually, the Volxvergnuegen parties only cost 4 bucks.
action: You take the blue flyer and the card
response: blue flyer: Taken.
card: Fabi grabs the card. "Hey, get your hands off the card, man!"
action: You examine Fabi
response: He's always organizing stuff. Right now, he's charging the customers who want to enter the club. He is looking a bit off. His eyes are kind of blood-shot. Too much work and not enough sleep, you guess.
action: You examine the lale
response: She's wearing yellow tights, short jeans and a yellow top. Her usual smile looks a little frozen, and her right cheek is marred by a bruise. You remember her as the girl that was jumping, singing, chewing her fingernails and drinking beer. At the same time. Now she's just standing there. You wonder what's wrong with her.
action: You look at the gothdude
response: He's wearing some kind of trench coat. He's standing in the corner of this corridor like some crooked vulture, eyeing you with his dark-rimmed eyes. What a freak.
action: You ask Fabi about card
response: He cuts you off: "Hey, you wanna come in or what?!"
action: You ask the lale about bruise
response: She just stares at you.
action: You ask the gothdude about lighter
response: Barely audible, he manages to spit out the following: "rrrrrya....Facebook?" He's obviously had too much to drink.
action: You buy the card
response: Nothing is on sale.
action: You go north
response: Lale pushes you away from the doorway. Fabi looks at you as if he was about to hit you. "You have to pay before you enter!", he says.
action: You give the money to Fabi
response: You pay the ridiculous entrance fee to Fabi, who pockets the money. He gives you a ticket and just motions to the doorway to the north. What the fuck, you don't care. Let's roll!
action: You examine the ticket
response: A ragged strip of paper torn from a roll. It says "BEZAHLT".
action: Go north
response: This is the bar area of the club. As usual, it's VERY crowded in here. People are trying to get through to the counter on the west side of the room or the toilets to the north. The dance floor is east of here.

The music is louder here. Sounds like minimal techno...but wait...like minimal techno with some very cheesy plastic disco samples on top...have the DJs lost their mind?

Dan is behind the counter of the Bar, serving cocktails.

You can also see Hipster and Style-O-Chick here.
action: You look at Dan
response: He looks even more evil than usual.
action: You look at Bar
response: A dimly lit counter. People are pushing each other in order to be served first. It seems they only serve one kind of drink tonight, as everybody drinks from a glass with the same deep orange color. Looks like...a Zombie? On the counter is a bowl of white jelly sweets.
action: You examine sweet
response: Looks pretty disgusting, like something you might find in the trash can of an operation room. But the people seem to enjoy eating those lumps...perhaps you should give it a try?
action: You take sweet
response: Reluctantly, you pop a jelly sweet into your mouth and cautiously start chewing on it. Not bad. Not bad at all! While you're munching away on the delicious gelatinous substance, from the corner of your eye you see Dan refilling the bowl. He's grabbing the lumps out of the skull of a dead body! It's that goth guy you saw in the entrance! You pause for a moment pondering whether you should get another one or not before spitting the brain tissue out of your mouth in a wide white arch.
action: You examine the Hipster
response: A hipster wearing  nerdy glasses and sporting only one arm...
action: You ask Hipster about lighter
response: He grabs you with his remaining arm and screams in your ear: "Man, you gotta try facebook, it's the newest shit! All the groovy volxvergnuegen people are on there!" Great, this weirdo smeared blood over your shirt...why is he bleeding?! What's going on here?
action: You examine the Chick
response: She's gorgeous...she's wearing a sexy see-through blouse that barely conceals anything...including several deep, still bleeding wounds...was there an accident? Nobody seems to notice anything...
action: You ask the Chick about lighter
response: She whispers in your ear: "Meet me on facebook, honey..." Her breath is cold and smells like an open grave.
action: You go north
response: A narrow and usually packed corridor with doors to the restroom for women to the east and the restroom to the west. To your confusion, only one pretty fucked up woman sits slumped into a heap in one corner. You can go back to the bar to the south. A door leads to the cellar below.
action: You examine the woman
response: Her gray and faded hair covers most of her face. She's got a beer bottle in her lap, but it's definitely not beer she's drinking.
action: You look at the bottle
response: The label is smeared with a sticky red substance…Jesus, this looks like blood!
action: You ask the woman about the blood
response: With a voice from a Venom-song, she says "Check out Facebook. Best thing that's happened to me in ages!"
action: You go west
response: Noone's in here, and I suggest you leave, too. The stench is almost unbearable.
action: Smell
response: You're almost fainting from an overwhelming wave of ammonia.
action: Go east
response: Not that you'd care about etiquette, you're just scared of female demons ripping your flesh.
action: Go downwards
response: (first opening the cellar door)
It seems to be locked.
action: You go to the south
response: This is the bar area of the club. As usual, it's VERY crowded in here. People are trying to get through to the counter on the west side of the room or the toilets to the north. The dance floor is east of here.

Dan is behind the counter of the Bar, serving cocktails.

You can also see Hipster and Style-O-Chick here.
action: Go west
response: Dan blocks your way.
action: You look at the speakers
response: Huge speakers, pumping bass.
action: You look at the freak
response: Who do you mean, Postman or Ugly Naked Freak?
action: You examine postman
response: He's got one of those orange drinks in his hands. He's moving the glass towards his head and spills the beverage over his shoulder, uttering a satisfied grunt and repeats this strange sequence of actions ad nauseam (maybe an ex-alcoholic?).
action: You examine the orange drink
response: One of those Zombies.
action: You look at naked
response: One of his butt cheeks is semi-detached, swinging around in crazy movements as he dances his completely brainless dance. He's wearing a full beard. Drops of blood fall to the dance floor from his hairy chin.
action: You examine the woman
response: As you approach her, she suddenly turns around, and you see that she's carrying a severed arm, biting huge chunks of flesh off the bone. Blood runs down her chin in gushes. She flashes you a demonic grin, exposing her rotten teeth.
action: You look at the arm
response: A severed arm!
action: You ask woman about the arm
response: She looks at you excitedly, ignoring your question: "I met him on Facebook! Really tasty!"
action: You ask naked about the butt
response: You really should join the nudist group on Facebook. Free yourself from the oppression by the clothing industry!
action: You ask the Postman about the sombrero
response: He stops spilling his drink and asks you "Do you know that new Facebook game, Breweryville? It's awesome! I produce ten gallons of Weißbier every minute! What's your high score?"
action: You go north
response: It's a little quieter in here, although you can still feel the basses pumping.

Behind a dirty wooden table sits a dubious-looking man with a beard and an eye-patch. His left hand is lying on the table, while his right hand is trying to jab a knife at the spaces between his fingers, failing miserably. He's constantly cutting his fingers, obviously not noticing his bruises. There's a colorful parrot sitting on his right shoulder.

You can also see a small table (on which is a dinner jacket) here.

The parrot bawks: "You bloody loser!", laughing at the pirate.
action: You examine the pirate
response: He's wearing a tricorn hat carrying a huge button that says "Ask me about Facebook".

The parrot bawks: "You bloody loser!", laughing at the pirate.
action: You look at the parrot
response: You see nothing special about the parrot.

The parrot bawks: "You bloody loser!", laughing at the pirate.
action: You examine jacket
response: An expensive looking dinner jacket the economy students of Munich like to wear. You can see a cartier lighter sticking out from one of its pockets.

The parrot bawks: "You bloody loser!", laughing at the pirate.
action: You take lighter
response: Taken.

The parrot bawks: "You bloody loser!", laughing at the pirate.
action: You examine lighter
response: The cartier lighter is currently switched off.

The parrot bawks: "You bloody loser!", laughing at the pirate.
action: You ask the pirate about Facebook
response: "Facebook? Arrrr, a mighty damn fine social network it is, young fella. I surfed the seven seas of the interweb, and i know all about it." He grabs your fartroid smartphone. "Arrrr, a Rrrrrrottorrrrrrola. You don't seem to know how to operate your Facebook app, do ya? Lemme handle that." He plays around with your smartphone for a little while, leaving bloody fingerprints on the display. "Here ya go, landlubber! Now y'arr ready to set sail for the ultimate procrastination!" He gives you your phone back.

The parrot bawks: "You bloody loser!", laughing at the pirate.
action: You go south
response: The music is really intense here. Huge speakers pump loud basses into the stomachs of the crowd. The floor is filled with people. Weird people.

A cloak room lies to the north. East of here is the DJ booth, guarded by groupies dancing in sync.

Next to one of the gigantic speakers is a freak in a postman's uniform wearing a  sombrero.

In the middle of the dance floor is an ugly naked freak, dancing his butt off. Literally.

A pony-tailed woman in an adidas training suit is standing in a corner with her face to the wall.
action: Go east
response: With your smartphone ready for Facebook, the groupies let you through to the DJ booth. Phew!

The DJ booth is pretty small and dirty. Behind the mixer, the DJ, ghood, is spinning this crazy music you hear. On CDs...
action: You look at the dj
response: As you approach ghood, he notices you. "Hey, Kong! You're alive!"

He looks at you, exhausted. "This is so fucked up man. We started the party as usual. But all of a sudden, a zombie entered the club, who knows from where, and started biting us. We fell, one by one. I'm the only one left alive! They let me live so i could spin these terrible records they gave me!"

You ask him, "Who do you mean? Who?"

"I don't know! They beat me! It was all fuzzy! A girl gave me this bag of CD-Rs and said that if i'd stop playing their music, the zombies would stop dancing and swarm out on the streets! If i stop playing this music, we're all doomed, Kong, do you understand?!"

You nod, gravely. What's the purpose of all this? And what now?

"You have to do something, Kong. I think all this horror comes from the basement, but you won't get there from the corridor, the door's locked. Maybe there's another way. You know, last month, we had this filmmaker, Jason Scott, on skype to talk about that text adventure movie he made, GET LAMP. And before he switched off, he said we should check out the beer cellar, that there was wisdom to be found there. What if he was right?

Please, Dr. Kong, try to get through to the kitchen and see of you can find something there. Dan will not let you through, but if you ask him about bloody mary, he'll probably leave to find one. All his rotten brain can process is this zombie drink.

And by the way, please bring me a beer while you're in the beer cellar. I'm so thirsty!"

He looks you in the eye, yearningly, and starts spinning music again.

A beep emanates from your smartphone. Looks like you received a Facebook message! You tap on the letter symbol and are faced with the following text from your old pal Mandy95:

"Kong!!! Thank the fucking Baal you finally made it to Facebook! You wouldn't believe what happened to me! I was at that Volxvergnuegen event about text adventures. I just wanted to go to the toilet when I heard that weird black metal music coming from the basement. I opened the door leading to the practice rooms, went down a couple of steps and got hit on the head! When I woke up, I was here in this cell! They're taking my blood every day, although I never see anyone. I just hear this metal music from one of the practice rooms. Something very creepy is happening here, dude! I recently saw Rosemary's Baby, and I'm A+ sure there are some demon worshippers planning some sinister fuckup around here! You gotta help me, man! I don't know, you're always reading these science fiction books, do something, please!"

You pause for a moment, terrified.

This is not weird anymore, this is slowly staggering towards nightmare. You have to find a way to rescue your friend. There must be a way to get down to the basement. The door to the practice rooms seems blocked, but maybe you can get to a lower level from the kitchen? And what's wrong with all these people? They look like zombies!
action: You ask Dan about the bloody mary
response: Dan disappears somewhere in the kitchen! Seems like ghood was right!
action: You go to the west
response: The kitchen is a bloody mess. There's nothing to be found here. To the north is the beer cellar.
action: You turn on lighter
response: You switch the cartier lighter on.

A small room with empty shelves on all sides except to the south, where the room leads back to the kitchen.

You can see a case of beer (in which is a bottle of beer) here.
action: You take the bottle
response: Taken.
action: You examine the case
response: The case of beer is empty.
action: You examine the beer
response: (the bottle of beer)
Augustiner.
action: You turn off lighter
response: You switch the cartier lighter off.
action: Go east
response: This is the bar area of the club. As usual, it's VERY crowded in here. People are trying to get through to the counter on the west side of the room or the toilets to the north. The dance floor is east of here.

You can see Hipster and Style-O-Chick here.
action: Go east
response: The DJ booth is pretty small and dirty. Behind the mixer, the DJ, ghood, is spinning this crazy music you hear. On CDs...
action: You give the bottle to the dj
response: Ghood just says "Hey, thanks, I didn't think you'd return. You know, I'm just here to tell you to go to the beer cellar, dude."
action: You look at what you're carrying with you
response: You are carrying:
a cartier lighter
a ticket
a blue flyer
a pack of fags (open)
a folded poem
sixteen cigarettes
a sticker
some money
a fartroid smartphone
a tattered shoulder-bag (being worn and open)
a red flyer
an apple
action: Dance
response: You act like Sheik Yerbouti for some time. Yowzah!
action: Go south
response: (first opening the big green door)

The door closes behind you.

You are standing outside of the club. Basses are pumping. You can enter the building through a big green door to the north or go east around the corner to the side of the building.

Above you is the night sky.

You can see Technodude and Electrowoman here.
action: You go to the east
response: You're standing east of the club, under the night sky. It's pretty quiet here. Steam rises from a grate in the pavement.

You can go back to the front door by moving south.

You can see a fag machine here.
action: Light cigarette
response: This dangerous act would achieve little.
action: Smoke cigarette
response: You smoke a cigarette.
action: You turn on lighter
response: You switch the cartier lighter on.

A small room with empty shelves on all sides except to the south, where the room leads back to the kitchen.

You can see a case of beer (empty) here.
action: You take the case
response: You put the case of beer on the concrete floor. On the wall behind the shelf is some writing!
action: You examine the writing
response: It says "xyzzy: magic word for time traveling"
action: Xyzzy
response: You get all fuzzy and the room seems to circle around you; for a short moment, you are reminded of the last time you took LSD...when you feel normal again....you hear someone's voice from afar:

"Thanks everybody for having me, it's been a pleasure. Colin asked me to give you all some advice for your lives, and all I can say is: Don't forget to ask about the banana; and check out the beer cellar. There's wisdom to be found there. Goodbye!"

You open you eyes to see.....

A small room with empty shelves on all sides except to the south, where the room leads back to the kitchen.

You can see a case of beer (empty) here.
action: You go south
response: Everything is neat and tidy here.

You can see a CD here.
action: You look at the cd
response: Best of Dieter Bohlen. Yuck!
action: You take it
response: YOU DO NOT WANT THIS!
action: Go east
response: It's pretty deserted here. You can hear voices from the dance floor.
action: Go east
response: Rows of chairs are lined up in front of a projection screen . A video beamer is projecting a skype startup screen. Cool people are hanging out, chatting, laughing. The walls are covered in words scribbled on black paper. You can make out the words "GET LAMP", "WHAT IS A GRUE" and "OH BOY! ARE WE GONNA DO SOMETHING DANGEROUS NOW?".

Paula is here. She is wearing a blue wig and black-and-white striped espandrillos.

A guy who calls himself Anonymeuss is here. His eyes are hidden behind a black bar.

You can also see Jana, Moritz, Robo and Lale here.
action: You look at Paula
response: Her gray and faded hair covers most of her face. She's got a beer bottle in her lap, but it's definitely not beer she's drinking.
action: You examine Jana
response: She's wearing dark lilac stockings that go up to her knees, blue puffy trousers and a black pullover.
action: You examine Moritz
response: Blue-white striped shirt, and 3/4 length pants. Aye.
action: You examine Robo
response: A small white robot with glowing red electronic eyes. He's walking around the room, flirting with the girls.
action: You examine Lale
response: She's wearing yellow tights, short jeans and a yellow top. One her head is a crown. She's jumping, singing, chewing her fingernails and drinking beer. At the same time. She's funny.
action: Go north
response: A couple of nerds are hunched in front of three laptops displaying only text. They seem very excited.

Achim is here. He's wearing a grungy flannel shirt with a banana tucked into the front pocket. He's sporting a neon-yellow key chain that drops to his ankles without a key attached to it. A button that looks like a nipple is fixed to the left side of his shirt.

You can also see Laptop #3, Laptop #2 and Laptop #1 here.
action: You examine banana
response: It's a banana.
action: You ask the achim about the banana
response: He grabs the banana, peels it and eats it in one go. As he does so, a key drops from his pocket to the floor!
action: You go east
response: The DJ booth is locked during cultural events.
action: You go west
response: It's pretty deserted here. You can hear voices from the dance floor.
action: You go north
response: A narrow corridor with doors to the restroom for women to the east and the restroom to the west. A door leads to the cellar below.
action: You go west
response: Noone's in here, and I suggest you leave, too. The stench is almost unbearable.
action: You unlock the door with the key
response: You unlock the cellar door.
action: Go downwards
response: (first opening the cellar door)

You slowly and cautiously descend the steps that lead down to the cellar. With every step you take, your heartbeat accelerates and this unwordly music that was only a faint rumble on the ground floor is getting louder and more threatening. What evils will await you down there?

Red light from a worn lamp on the southern wall sheds a bloody glow over this room. A pentagram has been drawn on the floor and candles have been placed wherever two lines meet. A rusty metal door is in the northern wall, with a keypad beside it. A gray door leads east.

You can see a black poster here.
action: Examine poster
response: You guess that this is some kind of band poster, but you cannot decipher the name on top of it. It's a logo consisting of oddly distorted and stretched white letters, overgrown with battle axes and thorny vines. Below the logo you can make out the writing "Bloody Fucking Pagan Ritual-Bortnathar's Revenge-Eastern European Tour 2010". This has to be the practice room of this fucked-up black metal band!
action: Go north
response: Feeling like the little boy in The Shining, you step through the door...

(first opening metal door)
It seems to be locked.
action: You go east
response: (first opening the gray door)
Terrified, you decide to knock on the door. Instantly, the music stops and you hear footsteps approaching the door. You close your eyes and expect to get decapitated with a battle axe.

"Oh hi! Come in! My name is Anton. Do you want some ginger tea?"

You reopen your eyes. A smiling young man with frizzled hair is standing in front of you, beckoning you inside. Too puzzled to think, you step inside.

There is fuzzy blue carpet everywhere. On the floor, on the walls, even on the ceiling. Three figures clothes in black are standing in a corner, gazing at their shoes.

Anton, a hyperactive but very nice young man wearing a shirt brandishing the words "Nazi Industrial Fuck Off", is drinking some tea.

You can also see pale metal guy, fat metal guy, tattooed metal guy and a black tape recorder (empty) here.

"Now, how about that ginger tea?" Anton asks.
action: You examine the pale guy
response: A guy with absurdly white skin dressed in black wearing a t-shirt with an undecipherable logo. He's staring at the floor.

Anton asks you "Hey, do you want to know anything about this place? We've been here for quite some time, you know. Just ask!"
action: You ask Anton about the pentagram
response: Anton says "Yeah, that's weird, huh? We have no idea who put that there. But it sure looks cool! Maybe those two crazy girls did it?"
action: You ask Anton about the ginger tea
response: "Oh, fuck, I just saw we're out of ginger tea. Sorry."
action: You ask Anton about the girls
response: "They're pretty fucked-up." Anton pauses to think for a moment. "Have you seen the Shining? They look like those two creepy girls. They rent the practice room north of the room with the pentagram. They never really talk to us. Just keep to themselves and their crazy pop music."
action: You ask Anton about the keypad
response: "You wanna know the code of the girls" practice room? That's easy, the door's lock is programmed to use the digit sum of the actual date: Simply add up the digits of today and type in the resulting number. But I would rather not in go in there - not for one million liters of ginger tea! Really scary, these girls!"
action: You look at your surroundings
response: There is fuzzy blue carpet everywhere. On the floor, on the walls, even on the ceiling. Three figures clothes in black are standing in a corner, gazing at their shoes.

Anton, a hyperactive but very nice young man wearing a shirt brandishing the words "Nazi Industrial Fuck Off", is drinking some tea.

You can also see pale metal guy, fat metal guy, tattooed metal guy and a black tape recorder (empty) here.
action: You look at the recorder
response: The black tape recorder is empty.
action: You ask Anton about the date
response: Anton looks confused. "Today is Saturday, but the date... Sorry, dude, no idea. I think it's already May... But you might have a look on the flyers lying around here, they should tell you." Arthanprank the Skullbreaker chimes in: "Yeah, these guys here really have cool flyers - although they should work a little bit on their boring fonts. You should check out the Volxvergnuegen flyer, they have some event going on tonight - and you can find todays date on it. You can also find it on the Web, if you are too lazy to walk up again - and if have a Fartroid with you. Just go to [LINK] and search
for their May flyer."
action: You go to the west
response: (first opening the gray door)

Red light from a worn lamp on the southern wall sheds a bloody glow over this room. A pentagram has been drawn on the floor and candles have been placed wherever two lines meet. A rusty metal door is in the northern wall, with a keypad beside it. A gray door leads east.

You can see a black poster here.
action: Examine poster
response: You guess that this is some kind of band poster, but you cannot decipher the name on top of it. It's a logo consisting of oddly distorted and stretched white letters, overgrown with battle axes and thorny vines. Below the logo you can make out the writing "Bloody Fucking Pagan Ritual-Bortnathar's Revenge-Eastern European Tour 2010". This has to be the practice room of this fucked-up black metal band!
action: You go to the south
response: It's pretty quiet here. Nobody here.
action: You go to the south
response: You open the big green door and step outside. Sitting on the pavement, with his back to the outer wall of Glockenbachwerkstatt is Okin Cznupolowsky, the world's best solo musician. He's emitting a very unpleasant smell. He looks out of his mind, babbling without any sense. "I mean, if I offended anyone, I'm sorry, but I was just trying to speak the truth about those faggot bitches, knowhaddimsayin? You know, I played this venue last Thursday, and businessmen freaked out over my music, my JAZZ, and drank schnapps, and now those lesbian faggot bitches throw me out of the club! I want to speak to the Geschäftsführer! Not to some bitch-ass woman!" You notice shit
running
down his pants and into his shoes and retreat back inside.
action: You go down
response: Red light from a worn lamp on the southern wall sheds a bloody glow over this room. A pentagram has been drawn on the floor and candles have been placed wherever two lines meet. A rusty metal door is in the northern wall, with a keypad beside it. A gray door leads east.

You can see a black poster here.
action: You type 16 on the keypad
response: The metal door clicks open.
action: Go north
response: This looks more like the room of a teenage girl than a practice room. The walls are plastered with posters of all the exchangable faces the casting shows produce. Apart from a karaoke machine and a pink tapedeck, there's no musical equipment here.

You can see a desk and a wooden stand (on which is an old book) here.
action: You look at the tapedeck
response: In the pink tapedeck is a pink tape.
action: You take the tape
response: Taken.
action: You examine it
response: It's pink with glittery pentagrams on it. You can read the words "Richwall Music" on it.
action: You examine the desk
response: A school desk. It has a drawer.
action: You open the drawer
response: You open the drawer, revealing a diary.
action: You look at the diary
response: It's clad in a terrible pink hue. Some strange mouse-like monster is depicted on the cover. It says "Band-Tagebuch".
action: You examine the stand
response: It's a finely engraved wooden stand. It's only purpose seems to be a supporter for the strange book that sits on top of it.

On the wooden stand is an old book.
action: You examine the old book
response: A very scary book. You can make out the name "NECRONOMICON" and a pentagram written in blood on a pretty smelly leather cover. Is this the book from the movie?

The tail of a very ugly pink textile mouse is hanging out of the book, seemingly as a bookmark.
action: You read the diary
response: You open the diary. It's written in an ancient, unholy and not translatable language. But strangely though, it appears to be written by a young girl with a heart full of butterflies and i-dots full of hearts. Why should a modern young girl with a light soul use such an ancient, heavy-weight and slow language? You don't know, but start reading anyway:
Taken.

(first taking the diary)
You flip the pages randomly and arrive at page 8:

You read: "Tag 8 In ein paar Stunden ist es soweit. Wir haben den Deckel jetzt mit einer Schnur an die Schachtel mit den Alraunenmaennchen festgebunden, weil sie dauernd rauskommen. Sie scheinen richtig wuetend zu sein, die Schachtel huepft immer hoch. Die Leute vom Volxvergnuegen bauen gerade auf und schauen aus wie lauter Nerds, aber man muss das genau rausfinden. Einen Fehler duerfen wir nicht machen! Sie werden einen Film zeigen und wir stellen uns beim Klo auf. Wenn wir jemand mit Pickeln sehen, schnappt die Falle zu! Pickelpinkeln macht Superstars! Ich bin schon voll aufgeregt und Vanessa sagt, dass sie gleich in die Hosen macht, hihi."

Congratulations to your patience in enduring this strange character sequence to the end. This is what you make out it could mean in a civilized language:
This day seems to be the day of the nerd event. The girls are waiting for their big kidnapping show (or in the toilet queue? Or for their pimples to disappear? It's hard to make any sense out of this.).
action: Continue
response: You flip the pages randomly and arrive at page 1:

You read: "Tag 1. Voll cool, wir schreiben jetzt Band-Tagebuch! Das ist der erste Eintrag. Vanessa meinte, dass unser Tagebuch dann in die Bravo kommt, wenn wir DSDS gewinnen. Aber da muessen wir uns richtig anstrengen. Die meisten da sind ja nur so Spacken und Hohlis. Die koennen gar nicht singen und schaun auch voll scheisse aus. Das Schwierige ist halt, da reinzukommen. Wenn wir erst drin sind, dann gewinnen wir! Das sagt Joerg auch und der ist voll cool. Der hat den Dieter (<3<3<3) schon mal getroffen, am Ballermann. Der Joerg verdient schon richtig Geld und fliegt jedes Jahr in Urlaub nach Malle.Voll cool! Und atzt da so richtig ab. Und da hat er den Dieter getroffen und mit ihm Sangria aus nem Eimer getrunken. Und der Joerg sagt, dass unsere Musik voll geil ist. Der hat im Urlaub auch den Juergen Drews kennengelernt, aber Vanessa und ich finden den doof. Wir haben jetzt auch nen eigenen Uebungsraum, voll im Zentrum. In der Glockenbachwerkstatt, da sind lauter Atzen und Hippies. Aber wir reden gar nicht mit denen. So Metaler ueben da auch, neben uns. Die sind voll doof, und die Musik ist soooo scheisse. Wir brauchen ganz viel Leute, die bei DSDS fuer uns stimmen. Das ist schwierig, weil uns keiner kennt. Die aus meiner Klasse stimmen natuerlich alle fuer uns, nur nicht die Karin und ihre Clique. Die Karin ist jetzt Emo und meint, dass sie voll cool ausschaut. Wir haben jetzt schon nen Namen, Postmodern Talking. Der Herr Reihertrog, der Deutschlehrer, hat uns den vorgeschlagen, weil wir den Dieter (<3<3<3) so toll finden. Und Modern Talking war die beste Band der Welt, bevor der bloede Thomas Anders  sich so wichtig gemacht hat. Und seine Frau, die Nora! Der sieht voll schwul aus und ist jetzt sicher schon tot oder Friseur. Ich find den Namen auch gut, aber der die Franzi meinte, das waer doof, weil die Post nix taugt. Die geht bald pleite, sagt die Franzi, weil alle nur noch Emails schreiben und Facebooken. Uns ist das egal, stimmts, Vanessa? Die Vanessa hat gesagt, dass jetzt immer ich Tagebuch schreiben soll, weil ich so suesse Herzchen als i-Puenktchen mache. Aber jetzt muessen wir ueben, die Vanessa schaut total 80er aus, mit nem Zopf und so lila Socken."

Congratulations to your patience in enduring this strange character sequence to the end. This is what you make out it could mean in a civilized language:
It seems this German text is a diary written by young girls who have a band covering Modern Talking songs and who want to win a super talent show. They have their practice room in this house next to a black metal band - that's all what you can make out of this confused girly-girly talk.
action: You read the next page
response: What do you want to read that in?
action: Diary
response: You read: "Tag 2. Hurra! Wir sind bei der Abstimmung dabei. Gestern haben wir nen Brief bekommen, mit nem Foto von Dieter (<3<3<3), dass wir bei der Vorauswahl von DSDS dabei sind. Da sind nur Spacken, die da auftreten. Aber wenn die ihre Spackenfreunde mitbringen, dann gewinnen wir nicht, weil die in unserer Klasse uns nicht mehr moegen. Die sind jetzt alle voll Emo und finden uns doof. Nur die Frau Wurstbier sagt, dass wir weitermachen sollen, und dass man positiv denken soll. Und der Herr Reihertrog. Ich glaub, dass der in mich verliebt ist, der schaut mich immer so komisch an. Wenn ich den Dieter (<3<3<3) in echt sehe, dann falle ich glaube ich tot um. Wenn der mit mir sprechen wuerde, dann wuerde ich total rot werden. Ich find den total suess, wie der ausschaut, und wie der auch so voll fies sein kann. You are my heart, you are my soul, Dieter (<3<3<3)! Wenn der zu uns so fies waere, dann muesste ich weinen. Das waere mir egal, ob das im Fernsehen waere. Aber ist er sicher nicht, weil wenn der unsere Version von You are my heart, you are my soul hoert, dann flippt der sicher voll aus. Aber wir brauchen halt echte Fans, die fuer uns stimmen! Am 1. Sonntag im Juni ist die Abstimmung, dann sehe ich Dieter. (<3<3<3)"

Congratulations to your patience in enduring this strange character sequence to the end. This is what you make out it could mean in a civilized language:
It seems this page of the text says nothing meaningful at all. Lots of hearts though.
action: You read the next page in the diary
response: You read: "Tag 3. Total geil, gestern war Fotoshooting. Der Fotograf war total cool, der hat uns mit so nem grossen BMW abgeholt, voll porno. Die Karin und ihre Clique habens genau gesehen, aber extra weggeguckt. Aber wenn wir dann mit den Fotos in der Bravo sind, dann koennen sie gar nicht weggucken. Der Fotograf hat auch gemeint, dass unsere Musik voll geil waere, und will mal mit mir zum Essen gehen. Die Vanessa hat gestern bei den Super- News so nen Bericht ueber ein Buch gesehen, dass alle gerade lesen. Das heisst Necronomicon, und sie hats gleich beim Weltbild gekauft. Ich finde so alte Buecher bloed, eigentlich les ich eh nie. Aber beim Weltbild gab es letztes Jahr das Superstars-Buch mit total suessen Fotos. Und naechstes Jahr sind unsere Fotos drinnen: Vanessa Nockenpfohl und Baby Beethoven sind Postmodern Talking - die heissesten Fotos der Superstars 2011! (Die Vanessa will keinen Kuenstlernamen, das find ich voll doof. Alle echten Kuenstler haben Kuenstlernamen!) In dem Necronomicon steht naemlich, wie man beruehmt wird. Da gibt's ein Kapitel, das heisst "Von denen Hirnfressern und wie man Macht gewuennet". Das ist total alt das Buch, so ganz komisch geschrieben. Aber da steht, wenn man eine Beschwoerung macht, dann kann man Zombies aufwecken. Und die tun dann, was man will. Die schauen aus wie Menschen, sind aber keine. Aber wenn wir die zur Abstimmung mitnehmen, dann stimmen die alle fuer uns und wir sind Gewinner bei DSDS. Heute ueben wir Cheri, Cheri Lady! Das ist sooooo toll!"

Congratulations to your patience in enduring this strange character sequence to the end. This is what you make out it could mean in a civilized language:
You have the impression these girls are daydreaming without pause. Apart from going on and on about becoming this years' super talents, they claim to have found an old magick tome, "The Necronomicon", which contains a chapter on how to conjure Zombies.
action: You read the next page in the diary
response: You read: "Tag 4. Die Karin hat uns jetzt ne Idee gegeben! Wenn die wuesste, dass wir mit ihrer Idee DSDS gewinnen, dann wuerde die voll schwarz werden vor Wut. Aber die ist ja schon schwarz. Gestern in der Schule hatte sie das ganze Gesicht schwarz geschminkt, wie ein Neger. Die Karin hat gesagt, dass unter der Glockenbachwerkstatt ein total alter Indianerfriedhof ist. Die Mutter von der Karin ist naemlich mit Willy Michl und Pierre Briece befreundet, hat die Karin gesagt. Frueher hat die Karin auch immer die Winnetou-Bilder gesammelt. Die Mutter von der Karin findet den Style von der Karin auch voll scheisse. Die Karin schaut aus wie ne fette Koksnutte, sagt sie immer. Dabei ist die Mutter selber voll fett und man sieht immer die Speckfalten, die ihr der BH ins Fleisch schneidet. Ausserdem schauen Koksnutten anders aus, sagt der Joerg auch. Im Necronomicon steht naemlich, dass man die Beschwoerung auf nem Friedhof machen muss. Und jetzt haben wir den Friedhof, direkt unter dem Uebungsraum. Cheri, cheri Lady sitzt noch nicht so richtig, wir versingen uns immer. Am Samstag habe ich so nen Typen in der Disco kennengelernt, der meinte er waer der coolste. Mit Sonnenbrille, voll Porno. Der hat gesagt, er haette ne Plattenfirma, wo wir unsere CD machen koennen, und hat mir dabei immer auf den Hintern gehauen. Aber wenn wir bei den Superstars gewinnen, brauchen wir keine Plattenfirma, das macht dann der Dieter (<3<3<3) alles fuer uns. Ausserdem hatte der Sonnenbrillentyp Turnschuhe von Adidas an. Der lebt hinter dem Mond und denkt, dass er mich mit seiner Plattenfirma rumkriegen kann. Nichtmal die Karin hat Adidas-Turnschuhe! Ich hab dann noch ein bisschen geknutscht mit ihm, aber dann wollte er mir keinen Wodka-Bull mehr kaufen. Jetzt brauchen wir eine Jungfrau! Im Necronomicon steht, dass man bei der Beschwoerung eine nackte Jungfrau braucht. Aber das kann auch ein Mann sein. Also ein Jungmann, haha. Man muss die Jungfrau dann fesseln, auf den Ruecken auf den Boden legen, und den Mund voll mit Alraunen stopfen. Dann die Musik (voll geil, da war gleich son Downloadlink im Necronomicon! Haben wir gleich runtergeladen und auf die pinke Kassette gespielt.) und dann stehen die Zombies auf. Die Karin hat mir gesagt, wo Alraunen wachsen. Das kann ich hier aber nicht hinschreiben, hihihi. Schade, dass hier kein Galgen in der Naehe ist. Die Vanessa hat sich voll geekelt und gesagt, dass sie gleich kotzen muss."

Congratulations to your patience in enduring this strange character sequence to the end. This is what you make out it could mean in a civilized language:
The two girls want to cast a spell of The Necronomicon in order to summon Zombies (Willy Michl? Pierre Briece? It's all very confusing...), who would vote for the girls' band in the super talent contest. They need a virgin though... And mandragore. And special music, which they already put on the pink tape.
action: You read the next page in the diary
response: You read: "Tag 5. In den Nachrichten steht, dass der Dieter (<3<3) jetzt verliebt ist. Vanessa und ich glauben das aber nicht. Es war ja auch kein Foto dabei. Und wenn der uns sieht... Wenn ich an den Dieter (<3<3<3) denke, dann kribbelts mir immer so, wie wenn man im Winter draussen pinkeln tut. Ich hab mal seinen Namen in den Schnee gepinkelt, aber dann hab ich mir auch auf die Schuhe gepinkelt. Der Joerg hat mich dann auch ins Krankenhaus begleitet, das war so eine Flatrate-Party. Da hab ich mich schon geschaemt nachher. Die Karin ist voll doof, aber die gibt uns immer total gute Infos. Sie hat jetzt Hausarrest, weil sie mit einer Sicherheitsnadel durch die Nase in die Schule gegangen ist. Ich musste ihr die Hausi bringen, hat der Herr Reihertrog gesagt. Bei ihr daheim ist es total ungemuetlich, ihr Zimmer ist ganz schwarz gestrichen, und auf dem Boden liegen ueberall Reissnaegel. Moebel hat sie gar keine, auch kein Bett, weil sie nie schlafen kann, sagt sie. Aber sie ist jetzt kein Emo mehr, sagt sie, sie macht jetzt beim Volxvergnuegen mit. Da sind total coole Leute, sagt sie, so Kuenstler und politisch, aber voll cool. Ich hab schon gedacht, sie sagt gar nichts Interessantes mehr, aber dann hat sie mir den Flyer von der naechsten Veranstaltung gezeigt. Der ist total doof, und ich haette gar nicht gecheckt, dass das ein Flyer ist. Sie hat gesagt, dass da so Computerspiele gezeigt werden, aber nur mit Text. Ich hab erstmal gar nichts gecheckt, weil Computerspiele nur mit Text, das ist doch wie nen Film auf Englisch anschauen. Also irgendwie langweilig. Aber sie hat gesagt, dass das den Leuten Spass macht, und da kommen lauter so picklige Nerds, das sind Leute, die noch nie Sex gehabt haetten, weil sie so schuechtern sind und immer nur Computerspiele machen. Ich hab zwar nix gecheckt, aber natuerlich gleich ans Necronomicon denken muessen, und die Karin gefragt, ob das wirklich stimmt, dass die noch nie Sex hatten. Ja, hat die Karin gesagt, das weiss sie genau, weil sie wahrscheinlich mit dem Chef vom Volxvergnuegen zusammen ist, und der ist voll cool und hat das auch gesagt. Der ist schon ueber 30 und total schlau, hat die Karin gesagt. Wieso sie wahrscheinlich mit dem zusammen ist, hab ich dann nicht mehr gefragt, weil die Karin dann ploetzlich hat weinen muessen und ich bin dann heimgegangen."

Congratulations to your patience in enduring this strange character sequence to the end. This is what you make out it could mean in a civilized language:
Boring stories about drunken girly misbehaviour. But these girls now seem to have a bright idea: At the next Volxvergnuegen event a lot of nerds will come, because it is an evening about text computer games. They are sure that they will find a virgin among the audience.
action: You read the next page in the diary
response: You read: "Tag 6. Wir haben einen Plan. Genauer gesagt, zwei Plaene. Wir spielen naemlich Brother Louie, Louie auch noch. Das ist der eine Plan. Und ausserdem entfuehren wir einen pickligen Nerd. Wir haben schon ganz viele Alraunen gekauft, die gab es beim Lidl im Angebot. Wenn man nicht weiss, wo die wachsen, sind die gar nicht so eklig. Die Vanessa hat sich eine genommen und ganz lange angefasst. Ganz komisch geguckt hat sie dabei und gesagt, dass sie aussieht wie ein kleines Maennchen. Wie ein kleines nacktes Maennchen. Da haben wir total kichern muessen. Ich glaube, wir muessen aufhoeren mit dem Kichern, als Superstar geht das nicht mehr. Aber wenn sie dann auf den kleinen Alraunenpimmel gedrueckt hat, hab ich wieder kichern muessen. Die Alraunen sind jetzt in einer Schachtel bei mir im Zimmer, aber ich hab jetzt einen Deckel drauf gemacht. Weil ich so komische Traeume hatte, dass die kleinen nackten Alraunenmaennchen alle nachts in mein Bett gekrochen sind. Und die waren ganz kalt und rau und haben mit ihren fiepsigen Stimmchen Cheri, Cheri Lady gesungen. Vielleicht ist das ja ein gutes Vorzeichen, aber kuessen wollte ich die nicht, nicht mal im Traum. Uebermorgen ist das Nerd-Event, hat die Karin gesagt. Sie hat jetzt ihre Fingernaegel wegoperiern lassen und sagt, dass der Volxvergnuegenchef total suess ist. Naja, den koennen wir vergessen als Opfer. Wenn wir dann die Zombies haben, muessen wir nochmal eine Beschwoerung machen. Das haben wir am Anfang nicht gecheckt, aber jetzt haben wir das Kapitel nochmal gelesen. Man muss die Zombies trainieren, wie im Fitness-Studio. Die muessen bei einer Beschwoerung alle unsere Lieder hoeren. Aber wo bekommen wir so viele Zombies her? Heute war ein Foto von Dieters (<3) Freundin in den Nachrichten, aber die hat total schiefe Zaehne. Ich glaube nicht, dass der Dieter (<3) die lieben tut. Wenn der mit mir im Studio ist, ganz allein...Aber ich darf jetzt nicht traeumen!"

Congratulations to your patience in enduring this strange character sequence to the end. This is what you make out it could mean in a civilized language:
The girls bought mandragore - looking like little naked men. They need it for the magick spell to summon Zombies. And they will kidnap one of the nerds visiting the next event - because they need a virgin for the spell. Something about Dieter's girlfriend's teeth and hearts sums up this day's diary entry.
action: You read the next page in the diary
response: You read: "Tag 7. Jeden Tag ein neuer Plan. Und ein neuer Traum, pfuiteufel. In dieser Nacht haben die Alraunenmaennchen ein Zirkuskunstueck gemacht, sie haben sich zu einem Turm augfestellt, eins auf das andere. Aber der Turm war eigentlich ein Galgen und an dem hing Karins Mutter. Sie hat dann ganz komisch gezuckt und aus ihrem Mund ist Schaum gekommen. Am Morgen habe ich den Schaum ganz schnell aufgewischt, bevor Mama ihn sehen konnte. Die Schachtel mit den Alraunenmaennchen habe ich heute in den Uebungsraum gebracht, sie hat die ganze Zeit in meinen Haenden so komisch gezuckt. Ich glaube, dass die echt lebendig sind, und auch Vanessa wollte die gar nicht mehr anfassen. Der Plan ist, dass wir ne Party machen. Aber viel cooler! Die Karin sagt, dass beim Volxvergnuegen auch Parties sind, und dass da die Nerds immer alles aufbauen und abbauen. Und nichtmal Geld dabei verdienen, sagt die Karin. Die Karin hat sich jetzt so komische Loecher in die Backen geschnitten, da blaest sie immer den Zigarrenrauch raus, das schaut total komisch aus. Und wenn sie lacht, dann tut es immer bluten, aber sie lacht ja nie. Genau, die Nerds bauen die Party auf, und wir spielen dann die Musik. Die Karin hat gesagt, dass das geht, weil der Chef vom Volxvergnuegen voll nett ist. Wenn ein Zombie einen Menschen beisst und sein Gehirn frisst, dann wird der Mensch auch ein Zombie, hat die Vanessa im Necronomicon gelesen. Wir machen aus dem Nerd, den wir morgen entfuehren, einen Zombie und halten ihn im Keller gefangen. Er kriegt immer unsere Musik und muss nackt in der Zelle sitzen. Die Vanessa hat schon Chloroform gekauft und die Alraunenmaennchen zischen die ganze Zeit, waehrend ich das schreibe. Vorhin hat die Vanessa den Deckel von der Schachtel aufgemacht und wir haben voll kichern muessen, weil die Alraunenmaennchen total erregt waren. Aber irgendwie ist das auch unheimlich. In einem Monat ist die Party, und dann lassen wir den Zombie raus. Er beisst die Leute und alle werden Zombies, und dann haben wir unseren Auftritt, der eigentlich eine Beschwoerung ist. Und am Tag danach ist die Abstimmung von DSDS! Und dann stimmen alle Zombies fuer uns, und der Dieter (<3<3<3) wird seine Freundin verlassen. Ich hab mir schon ein neues Parfum beim Kick gekauft, das schaut voll Porno aus, so mit so nem Mann und so ner Frau drauf, die es gerade machen. Aber in schwarzweiss, nicht so billig."

Congratulations to your patience in enduring this strange character sequence to the end. This is what you make out it could mean in a civilized language:
The mandragore men seem to be invading the girls' dreams in a more unpleasant way. A girl named Karin has cut holes in her cheeks, because she loves the boss of Volxvergnuegen (or because she wants to smoke through her cheeks). The plan is to kidnap a nerd, use him as a virgin for the spell to create a Zombie, who will then one month later infect party guests. They, being now Zombies themselves, will vote for the girls in the super talent show. Sounds pretty plausible.
action: You read the next page in the diary
response: You read: "Tag 8 In ein paar Stunden ist es soweit. Wir haben den Deckel jetzt mit einer Schnur an die Schachtel mit den Alraunenmaennchen festgebunden, weil sie dauernd rauskommen. Sie scheinen richtig wuetend zu sein, die Schachtel huepft immer hoch. Die Leute vom Volxvergnuegen bauen gerade auf und schauen aus wie lauter Nerds, aber man muss das genau rausfinden. Einen Fehler duerfen wir nicht machen! Sie werden einen Film zeigen und wir stellen uns beim Klo auf. Wenn wir jemand mit Pickeln sehen, schnappt die Falle zu! Pickelpinkeln macht Superstars! Ich bin schon voll aufgeregt und Vanessa sagt, dass sie gleich in die Hosen macht, hihi."

Congratulations to your patience in enduring this strange character sequence to the end. This is what you make out it could mean in a civilized language:
This day seems to be the day of the nerd event. The girls are waiting for their big kidnapping show (or in the toilet queue? Or for their pimples to disappear? It's hard to make any sense out of this.).
action: You read the next page in the diary
response: There are only eight pages in the diary, the rest is blank.
action: You examine the old book
response: A very scary book. You can make out the name "NECRONOMICON" and a pentagram written in blood on a pretty smelly leather cover. Is this the book from the movie?

The tail of a very ugly pink textile mouse is hanging out of the book, seemingly as a bookmark.
action: You open the old book
response: Some otherwordly power is keeping it shut. Tough luck.
action: You take the tail
response: It won't budge. And you don't want it.
action: Go south
response: Through the gray door, you hear muffled voices arguing. As it seems, the black metal band wanted to record a demo tape this evening, but Arthanprank The Skullbreaker, one of the black metal dudes, forgot to bring a tape. He's defending himself: "Look guys, I really wanted to bring the tape, but I forgot my little sister's birthday, so I recorded her a tape from this new black metal band, Princess Lilyfist...I'm really sorry."

Red light from a worn lamp on the southern wall sheds a bloody glow over this room. A pentagram has been drawn on the floor and candles have been placed wherever two lines meet. A rusty metal door is in the northern wall, with a keypad beside it. A gray door leads east.

You can see a black poster here.
action: You go east
response: There is fuzzy blue carpet everywhere. On the floor, on the walls, even on the ceiling. Three figures clothes in black are standing in a corner, gazing at their shoes.

Anton, a hyperactive but very nice young man wearing a shirt brandishing the words "Nazi Industrial Fuck Off", is drinking some tea.

You can also see pale metal guy, fat metal guy, tattooed metal guy and a black tape recorder (empty) here.

Slowly, your brain starts to work. Are you really the famous Dr. Kong, known all over the world for his brilliant wit and unrivalled intelligence, or are you just some dumb text adventure geek sitting in front of a computer terminal? Anyhow, your brain came to the following conclusion: Those crazy girls have their ritual music on a pink tape. If you'd manage to record some other music on that tape, the ritual must fail! That's it!
action: You put the pink tape in the recorder
response: You put the pink tape into the black tape recorder.
action: You turn on the recorder
response: That's not something you can switch.

Anton asks you "Hey, do you want to know anything about this place? We've been here for quite some time, you know. Just ask!"
action: You take pink tape
response: Taken.
action: You give it to Anton
response: Just put it in the recorder and ask Anton about it. And no funny stuff with the recorder!
action: You ask Anton about the tape
response: You tell the guys that you found a tape. "Wow!", says Anton, "Now we can record our demo! Awesome!" Immediately, the band members grab their instruments and start recording a song, from start to finish, first take. At least that's what they say when you come back to the practice room, it was just too loud. You take the tape and promise to make a copy for the band.
action: You check your inventory
response: You are carrying:
a pink tape
a diary
a cellar key
a cartier lighter (providing light)
a ticket
a pack of fags (open)
a folded poem
sixteen cigarettes
a sticker
some money
a fartroid smartphone
a tattered shoulder-bag (being worn and open)
a red flyer
an apple
action: Go west
response: You freeze in your steps. Two scary looking girls dressed in glittery pink stand before you, their eyes bloodshot and evil. "Thank you for returning that tape, bitch!", the one with the braids and the purple socks says. She must be Vanessa. She takes the pink tape out of your hands and feeds it into the tapedeck the girls have brought here for the occasion. All the candles are lit. The other girl hits you with a karaoke microphone and you stumble to the floor.

"The time has finally come," Vanessa shouts, "for us to complete the ritual and win DSDS!"

The other girl removes a huge board from the eastern wall, revealing a black iron door with bars! She unlocks the door with a rusty key, opens it, and out stumbles your internet friend, mandy95, completely naked, looking miserable. Why didn't you see this?!? You could have freed him! The two girls throw him to the floor, tie him up with pink ribbons and feed him with mandrake roots. You feel paralyzed from the stench emanating from those disgusting roots.

You just hope your trick with the black metal music will work, otherwise all is lost.

Now Jennifer takes the Necronomicon, says "Zicke Zacke Hühnerkacke", and the evil book opens. She reads some sinister sounding ritualistic poems you don't really understand. All you can discern is "Azatoth Cznupolowski, gulli gulli ramsamsam", which makes the red lamp explode. Only the ritual candles give off light now, light and putrid smoke.

"And now...the music!", Vanessa says, almost chanting, handing the tape over to her accomplice, who puts it into the tapedeck. You close your eyes. And clench your fists.

As the play button on the tapedeck is pressed, hordes of completely braindead nordic emperors invade your ear canals! You hear a hoarse voice screaming "Blashyrk Mighty Ravendark!", and as the nordic riders charge forward to enter the burning castle, the music stops. you open your eyes again...

The two girls lie on the floor unconscious. You shake them, and they slowly open their eyes, but they cannot remeber what has just happened.

As you untie your friend and remove the roots from his mouth, he whispers, "Kong...you did it...you have defeated the Diddl Girls...the world is saved..." he stands up, picks up the rusty key from the floor and hands it to you. "But Kong, it's not over yet...You see...if i don't stay locked up in this cellar room for another month, i will not be able to send you that facebook message you received, and you will not be able to travel back in time to save me! So you have to lock me in again...no, Kong, don't look at me that way, you know I'm right. Don't worry about me, i have enough mandrake roots to feed on." He enters his cell.Reluctantly, you close the door and lock it.

"Goodbye, Kong, we will meet again", mandy95 says, and you wave him goodbye as you cast xyzzy again, which by miraculous ways seems to be working again, and through a maelstrom of lights and smells, are carried back into the future.

And now you're back at the party. In the bar. It's 3 am, everybody is having a good time. The music is great, ghood really rocks the crowd.

You meet Fabi, who's looking remarkably good, arm in arm with a girl called Karin, although she has no arms anymore, she's had them removed as the ultimate body modification. They both seem very happy.

You're dancing all through the night, and when the sun rises, you decide it's time to call it a day.

You grab a fortune cookie from the bar counter, wave back at Dan, and step outside in the gentle morning sun.

You unpack the fortune cookie and eat it. Yes, Dr. Kong, you've done it again. Saved the world from the impending demise AND had a terrific time. But wait....

What's written on the strip of paper from the fortune cookie? "Help! I'm locked in a fortune cookie factory! Help me, Dr. Kong!"

It's signed by mandy95. That guy is just looking for trouble. Well, it looks like there's a new job for Dr. Kong, hipster, trickster, private eye. But not before you get some sleep.

TO BE CONTINUED...
action: You check your inventory
response: You are carrying:
a cartier lighter (providing light)
a ticket
a blue flyer
a pack of fags (open)
a folded poem
sixteen cigarettes
a sticker
some money
a fartroid smartphone
a tattered shoulder-bag (being worn and open)
a red flyer
an apple
action: Xyzzy
response: Hm...it doesn't seem to work...yet....
action: You go to the north
response: A small room with empty shelves on all sides except to the south, where the room leads back to the kitchen.

You can see a case of beer (empty) here.