Bored Ladders
by Marius Müller (2011)

You are a respected member of your people. They have given you and Kevin a mission. Find the Tomb of the Unknown Tool and find the artifact that will defeat the evil Braintree, the oldest enemy of your people.

action: %
response: The Braintree. The oldest enemy of your people, sitting there in the middle of the Neverlight Forest. Sitting...scheming. So now he put a giant space claw on Pluto, and Pluto powers your people, because you are some kind of sci-fi metaphor for hippies and back to nature -stuff. So the Eldest of your people send you and Kevin on a mission to find the Tomb of the Unknown Tool, also known as Grave of the nameless Idiot. There you will find the artifact to defeat the evil Braintree. So there you are, at the edge of the Forest, ready to begin your trip. I will be your eyes and ears. And nose.

No relation to any real people called Kevin or Jim is implied.

The forest is dark and foreboding, yadda, yadda, forest path.

You can see Jim here.
action: You examine Jim
response: Jim is wearing something made of 100% natural cotton, because your people are into nature and stuff.
action: About you
response: As good-looking as ever.
action: You ask Jim about Kevin
response: Jim gives you a satisfying answer.

"Shouldn't we follow the Forest Path? What do you mean not implemented? It's just here, to the northnortheast."
Jim goes to the Northnortheast.
You follow Jim to the Northnortheast.
The forest path looks pretty normal...Oh dear!
Vacuum Trap!!!
Jim explodes in the goriest way you can imagine (so it might be
pretty tame).

Vacuum Trap!!!
There's nothing here to see, as vacuum is invisible. Luckily, you're immune to vacuum, as all creatonists are. The forest path continues to the east.
action: East
response: Tomb of the Unknown Tool, also known as Grave of the nameless Idiot
It is done up in a modern style, all glass and steel, the lettering of its name float over the glass front as flashy laser projections. The entrance leads down (by elevator).
action: Down
response: Nice elevator music!

This room is full of skulls and bones. Right before you lies the slain corpse of the famous adventurer Monathan Mlask, who has met his doom here. A door leads, hm, let's say southeast.

You can see a bubble gum door and a Chicken with Hands! here.
action: You take Chicken
response: I don't suppose the Chicken with Hands! would care for that.
action: You look at Chicken
response: You see nothing special about the Chicken with Hands!.
action: You go southeast
response: (first opening the bubble gum door)
It seems to be locked.
action: You unlock the door with Chicken
response: (first taking the Chicken with Hands!)
I don't suppose the Chicken with Hands! would care for that.
action: You unlock door
response: (with the wrapper key)
The Chicken with Hands! has better things to do.
action: You take the wrapper key
response: That seems to belong to the Chicken with Hands!.
action: You ask Chicken for the key
response: The Chicken with Hands! has better things to do.
action: You hit Chicken
response: It flutters up and chokes you to death with its creepy hands. So you die disgusted.
action: Sing
response: Your singing is abominable.
action: You squeeze Chicken
response: Keep your hands to yourself.
action: Kiss Chicken
response: Keep your mind on the game.
action: You kill Chicken
response: It flutters up and chokes you to death with its creepy hands. So you die disgusted.
action: Look around
response: This room is full of skulls and bones. Right before you lies the slain corpse of the famous adventurer Monathan Mlask, who has met his doom here. A door leads, hm, let's say southeast.

You can see a bubble gum door and a Chicken with Hands! here.
action: You eat door
response: (first taking the bubble gum door)
That's fixed in place.
action: You wake Chicken
response: That seems unnecessary.
action: Up
response: Tomb of the Unknown Tool, also known as Grave of the nameless Idiot
It is done up in a modern style, all glass and steel, the lettering of its name float over the glass front as flashy laser projections. The entrance leads down (by elevator).

The Chicken with Hands! arrives from below.
action: You go to the west
response: Vacuum Trap!!!
There's nothing here to see, as vacuum is invisible. Luckily, you're immune to vacuum, as all creatonists are. The forest path continues to the east.

The Chicken with Hands! arrives from the east.

The Chicken implodes, which looks kinda awesome. You see something glinting in the wreckage.
action: You take all
response: (the wrapper key)
Taken.
action: You go east
response: Tomb of the Unknown Tool, also known as Grave of the nameless Idiot
It is done up in a modern style, all glass and steel, the lettering of its name float over the glass front as flashy laser projections. The entrance leads down (by elevator).
action: Go downwards
response: Nice elevator music!

This room is full of skulls and bones. Right before you lies the slain corpse of the famous adventurer Monathan Mlask, who has met his doom here. A door leads, hm, let's say southeast.

You can see a bubble gum door here.
action: You unlock door
response: (with the wrapper key)
You unlock the bubble gum door.
action: You open door
response: You open the bubble gum door.
action: Go southeast
response: There are hordes of gold and silver, ipods and other treasures. Being from a culture who is all back to nature and stuff, you're not interested. A small tunnel leads, what didn't we have, southwest.

But there is the unknown tool, a typewriter.

You can also see a bubble gum door here.

The typewriter types a "9" with a clang.
action: You take the typewriter
response: Taken.

The typewriter types a "8" with a clang.
action: Go southwest
response: You can see the sky through the glass dome, and beloved Pluto far above.

There is an incredible large heap of the intelligent, but unresponsive Ladders of Mercury here. They look pretty bored, not being used  for their given purpose.

The typewriter types a "7" with a clang.
action: Go up
response: You can't go that way.

The typewriter types a "6" with a clang.
action: You climb ladder
response: You can't see any such thing.

You shoulder all but one of the ladders, who actually weight nothing, and put that one up. Then you climb it, stack the other one on top, climb that, etc. You have to break the glass dome, but after that it's easy work till the cloud layer. As you leave Earth'sa atmosphere, you're once again happy to be immune to Vacuum. Luckily it still only takes you one turn to reach Pluto in the unmeasurable vastness of Space.

You are standing on Pluto, at the foot of the Space Claw holding your beloved Planet.

The typewriter types a "5" with a clang.

You are standing on Pluto, at the foot of the Space Claw holding your beloved Planet.

The typewriter types a "4" with a clang.

[Previous turn undone.]
action: You examine the typewriter
response: It's an old typewriter, which has some dynamite in it.

The typewriter types a "4" with a clang.
action: You drop the typewriter
response: You carefully place the typewriter at the foot of the Space Claw, then run up the next slope and get proppeled into the vast, cold nothingness of Space. Behind you, there is a giant and satisfyingly loud explosion. You drift through Space as helpless as the next sequel hook. But with Pluto's power restored, your people are able to find you, sailing to your rescue on Space Birds. Back home, they're having a big celebration in your honor, and you finally muster up your courage to speak to the silk weavers daughter. Braintree is still at large, but it's not like he can run away.