Theatre People
by Michael Kielstra (2016)

The dazzle of the theatre: the footlights, the bows, the adoring crowd! It's your job, as a tech crew member, to make sure that the actors and, especially, the actresses, get enough of that. Not for you the ten-minute standing ovation; your lot is to deal with pushy stage managers, issues with the fly tower, and a bartender who, no matter what, flat-out refuses to give you free drinks. Even when you could really use one. Especially when you could really use one... Maybe, just maybe, this could be your ticket to the big time. You could single-handedly get the production back on its feet, win the praise and adulation of all, and, possibly, even aid a damsel in distress. Alternatively, you could do your job quietly, stay out of peoples' way, and have no reward but the quiet smugness of an underrated worker. Fame, glory, and a trek in search of rope await!

action: %
response: Another openin', another show -- and everybody gets applause but you. It's been fun, but you wish that the audience and, especially, the actors would recognize your contribution to the production. It takes a lot of skill to push the scenery into place!

The stage left wing is your home away from home. It's full of props that will be required onstage if the show ever starts. South is the left stage corridor, and east is that most glamorous of areas, the stage.

Mandy looks you up and down with the gaze she reserves for insignificant insects and junior tech crew members. "The curtain's not going up. Find out what's wrong."

You can see Mandy here.
action: About yourself
response: As good-looking as ever.
action: You say the macbeth
response: (to Mandy)
There is no reply.
action: You ask Mandy about the curtain
response: "Yes, the curtain. It has to go up before the show can start. Find Rich in the fly tower. That's his job."
action: You ask Mandy about Mandy
response: Mandy glares at you. You decide not to pursue that line of enquiry.
action: You ask Mandy about the fly tower
response: "Rich is usually very reliable. Go find out what's got into him.
He's in the fly tower."
action: You ask Mandy about yourself
response: "It's good that you're on my team. Good for you, I mean -- great experience."
action: Go south
response: This corridor leads to the stage left wing, due north. It's tastefully decorated with the cheapest possible white tiling. Backstage is east, and a set of stairs lead up to the fly tower.
action: You look at the tiling
response: The tiling is dirty and some of the grout is peeling off.
action: You get the grout
response: That's hardly portable.
action: Up
response: This is where things, like curtains, are raised and lowered onto the stage via bars. Right now, that's not happening. The left stage corridor is below.

You can see Rich here.
action: You ask rich about the curtains
response: Rich gives you a good-natured smile.
action: You ask rich about curtain
response: "Yeah, the curtain's not working right now. One of the ropes snapped just before I was due to lift it. I'll need a replacement rope before I can do anything."
action: You ask rich about rope
response: "I don't know what happened, exactly -- maybe the rope was faulty. I've got to check all the others now in case they're going to break too, so I don't have time to get another one. Could you go to the equipment store and get me a replacement coil? Thanks a million."
action: You ask rich about Mandy
response: "Mandy's your stage manager? Just do whatever she says, whenever she says it, and you should escape."
action: You ask rich about the equipment store
response: "It's on the other side of the theatre. They keep all sorts of stuff in there."
action: You examine rich
response: Rich has never been known to fail to pull the right rope at the right time. If you give him something to hang from the ceiling, it will hang from the ceiling. Your sole ally in the fight against unremarkability, he has always liked you and the feeling is mutual.
action: Go downwards
response: This corridor leads to the stage left wing, due north. It's tastefully decorated with the cheapest possible white tiling. Backstage is east, and a set of stairs lead up to the fly tower.
action: Go east
response: The actors and crew gather here when they aren't needed onstage. West is the left stage corridor; east is the right stage corridor.

You can see a props table (on which is a flower bouquet) and Henry here.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You go east
response: Here, at least, both sides of the theatre are equal. The right stage corridor is decorated just as badly as the left one. North is the right wing, west is backstage, and east is the door to the equipment store.
action: Go east
response: (first opening the Equipment Store door)
It seems to be locked.
action: You ask Henry about the equipment room
response: Henry sighs and mops his brow.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You look at Henry
response: Henry is the director. He has a lot on his plate right now, and it shows in his deeply-scored face and messy brown hair.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You ask Mandy about the key
response: "You don't have one? You really should have told someone by now. I'm sure the manager will get you one after the performance."
action: You ask Mandy about the equipment store
response: Mandy glares at you. You decide not to pursue that line of enquiry.
action: You ask Mandy about the manager
response: "I'd be a better manager. I had to fill in once, when mine got sick on the opening night of Much Ado about Nothing. I talked to someone from that production recently and apparently they still tell stories about that night..."
action: You ask Mandy about Henry
response: "I'm going to ask him out tonight. What a wonderful man..."
action: You ask Mandy about the curtain
response: "Yes, the curtain. It has to go up before the show can start. Find Rich in the fly tower. That's his job."
action: You ask Henry about the key
response: "You must have one somewhere."

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You ask Henry about Mandy
response: "Whatever Mandy told you to tell me, I don't want to hear it. She's a raving maniac if she thinks I'm going to take her to dinner."

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You open the door
response: It isn't something you can open.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You examine the door
response: The door to the leading lady's dressing room.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You listen
response: You hear nothing unexpected.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You ask Henry about the manager
response: "I don't see what's wrong with lowering the rent on your theatre a little bit. The company's practically broke as it is. We've staked everything on this production, and the least he could do is help us a little bit."

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You enter the dressing room
response: That's not something you can enter.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You ask Henry about the leading lady
response: "She's a good actress, but man can she get emotional."

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You ask Henry about the sobbing
response: "It's just my luck! The night that the theatre review man is in the audience, my lighting technician calls my leading lady old! Now I've got to calm her down."

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: Go south
response: You can't go that way.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You look at the flower
response: Clearly someone has an admirer: this bouquet of roses is enormous.

You find a card inscribed "To a beautiful young woman" with the flowers and take it. It might come in handy.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You take the bouquet
response: Taken.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You examine the card
response: "To a beautiful young woman." It's in the theatre manager's handwriting! There is, however, no signiature.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You go east
response: Here, at least, both sides of the theatre are equal. The right stage corridor is decorated just as badly as the left one. North is the right wing, west is backstage, and east is the door to the equipment store.
action: Go north
response: A bigger wing than yours, stage right has been graced with the prompter's desk and a truly unattractive chaise longue for act 2.
West is the stage, south is a corridor.
action: You look at the desk
response: You can't sit here. Only people with real theatrical power can sit here.
action: You examine chaise longue
response: A faded red and gold seat for two, this chaise longue looks too rickety to hold up to much. It's a miracle it's lasted through the first week of performances.
action: You go west
response: You're on stage! This would be very exciting if a performance were going on. East is the Right Wing, west is the Left Wing. The auditorium is to the north, past the currently unopenable curtain.
action: Go north
response: You force your way under the curtain, leap the orchestra pit smoothly, and take a second to congratulate yourself on your landing. The auditorium is not yet open, and the seats are empty. If you succeed in your task, they will soon be filled with audience, admiring the theatre and dropping things. The stage is to the south, and the atrium is to the north. To the west is the lighting booth.
action: You examine the seats
response: The cushioned seats are colored a lurid orange. They stand a few inches off the floor. Every so often, the space under them has to be cleaned.
action: You look under the seats
response: Everything that the audience drops ends up under here, including -- lucky you -- money! You quickly gather up the coins.
action: You look at the money
response: Money! Just what you need for... everything, really. It's not much, but it'll buy something.
action: You look around
response: The auditorium is not yet open, and the seats are empty. If you succeed in your task, they will soon be filled with audience, admiring the theatre and dropping things. The stage is to the south, and the atrium is to the north. To the west is the lighting booth.
action: Go west
response: The stage is lit from here. It's filled with machinery that Fred never lets anyone touch.

You can see Fred here.
action: You ask Fred about yourself
response: "Maybe one day you'll make a decent technician. Until then, leave me alone!"
action: You ask Fred about manager
response: "I can't believe they didn't hire me to do sound as well! I know the sound guy they picked, and he couldn't mix his way out of a wet paper bag!"
action: You examine the machinery
response: Dials and buttons and readouts, oh my! You technically understand what these do, but Fred never allows you more than a cursory glance before he pushes you away.
action: You ask Fred about Mandy
response: "Don't ever say that name in here again. Don't ever. I was going to be stage manager, and she stole that from me! Stole it from me in cold blood!"
action: You ask Fred about Rich
response: "He can pull on ropes, and that's all he's good for. It took me three hours to get him to hang the lights right."
action: You ask Fred about Henry
response: "Why Henry has an actual job I'll never know. He's a wuss. You'll find him backstage, if you feel like losing your faith in humanity."
action: You go east
response: The auditorium is not yet open, and the seats are empty. If you succeed in your task, they will soon be filled with audience, admiring the theatre and dropping things. The stage is to the south, and the atrium is to the north. To the west is the lighting booth.
action: Go north
response: The atrium is filled to the brim with discerning theatregoers and cultured folk, demanding, in upper-class accents, to be let in. The bar is not very busy and Lola, behind it, looks bored. The manager is trying his best to quiet the crowd and mostly failing. The stage is south.

On the bar is a menu.

You can also see the Theatre Manager and Lola here.
action: You look at Manager
response: The manager looks haggard and desperate. He is wearing a suit and tie with sweat marks from dealing with the audience, and a keycard hangs around his neck.
action: You ask Manager about the key
response: "Not another one? Don't worry, sir, you will see a performance tonight. We are experiencing a few slight technical hitches, but the auditorium will open soon." He sighs and turns away, muttering. "Gosh, I could use a drink."
action: You look at the menu
response: The menu offers everything from spring water to Dom Perignon. Usually the patrons lean more towards the spring water side of the price range.
action: You examine Lola
response: You have known Lola for a long time. She still won't let you have a free drink, no matter how much you compliment her long black hair or her brown eyes.
action: You ask Lola about the drink
response: By some miracle, you have enough money to pay. Lola hands you a gin and tonic, then slowly closes her mouth and makes a concerted effort to look bored again.
action: You give the gin to Manager
response: "Thanks. You're a lifesaver." He looks like he genuinely means it as he devotes all his attention to the glass.
action: You ask Manager about key
response: "Not another one? Don't worry, sir, you will see a performance tonight. We are experiencing a few slight technical hitches, but the auditorium will open soon." He sips his drink.
action: You look at the keycard
response: The keycard to the equipment store.
action: You go south
response: The auditorium is not yet open, and the seats are empty. If you succeed in your task, they will soon be filled with audience, admiring the theatre and dropping things. The stage is to the south, and the atrium is to the north. To the west is the lighting booth.
action: Unlock
response: What do you want to unlock?
action: Door
response: What do you want to unlock the Equipment Store door with?
action: Keycard
response: You unlock the Equipment Store door.
action: Go east
response: (first opening the Equipment Store door)

Everything you need to hold a production together is here, piled on shelves. The right stage corridor is back west.

You can see a rope and a table (on which are some papers and a roll of gaffer tape) here.
action: You take all
response: rope: Taken.
papers: Taken.
roll of gaffer tape: Taken.
action: You examine papers
response: A pile of indeterminate forms which, with your luck, you will sooner or later have to fill out.
action: You go west
response: Here, at least, both sides of the theatre are equal. The right stage corridor is decorated just as badly as the left one. North is the right wing, west is backstage, and east is the door to the equipment store.
action: Go west
response: The actors and crew gather here when they aren't needed onstage. West is the left stage corridor; east is the right stage corridor.

You can see a props table and Henry here.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You give the rope to rich
response: "Thanks a bundle. Actually, I can't get into the mechanism to put the rope in. When the other rope broke, it fouled up the pulleys and I can't reach to unjam them. Can you do anything?" Rich takes the rope with this disappointing speech, before delivering some good news: "I've finished checking all the other ropes, so I can raise and lower a bar if you want me to. Just SHOUT from the stage."
action: You examine the mechanism
response: The mechanism of the fly tower is great, mysterious, and has a jammed part that is just out of reach.
action: You jump
response: You jump on the spot.
action: Examine bar
response: Anything that needs to hang in the theatre hangs from one of these horizontal metal tubes. Rich raises and lowers them to bring things onto and off of the stage below.
action: Climb bar
response: Little is to be achieved by that.
action: You eat the bar
response: That's plainly inedible.
action: You ask rich about Manager
response: "The manager's taking the heat for all this, out in the atrium. He's a good man, if a little easily distracted."
action: You ask rich about the flowers
response: Rich gives you a good-natured smile.
action: Shout
response: Rich hears your shouts and lowers the bar for you.
action: Look around
response: You're on stage! This would be very exciting if a performance were going on. East is the Right Wing, west is the Left Wing. The auditorium is to the north, past the currently unopenable curtain.

You can see a fly bar here.
action: You sit on the bar
response: You get onto the fly bar.
action: Shout
response: Rich raises the bar and you find yourself pulled up into the mechanisms of the fly tower.

Standing on the fly bar, you can see the pulleys and counterweights that make Rich's job possible.
action: Look around
response: Standing on the fly bar, you can see the pulleys and counterweights that make Rich's job possible.
action: You look at the pulleys
response: The ropes go over and under these pulleys in their everlasting quest to pull things onto and off of the stage as fast as possible. One pulley looks jammed.
action: You examine the pulley
response: The pulley has been jammed by a broken piece of rope.
action: You get the rope
response: You pull the piece of rope out of the pulley, fixing the curtain-raising mechanism!
action: Shout
response: Stage (on the fly bar)
You're on stage! This would be very exciting if a performance were going on. East is the Right Wing, west is the Left Wing. The auditorium is to the north, past the currently unopenable curtain.

Rich lowers the bar, and you, to the stage.
"Thanks," he shouts from the fly tower, "that did it. I'm putting the new rope in now."

Through bravery, intelligence, and not a little good luck, you have saved the production almost single-handedly! The actual show is a flop -- the lead actress is crying all the way through -- but that's hardly your fault, is it? Afterwards, Mandy listens to you pour out your story, nods, thanks you quickly, and then begins: "You know, this reminds me of the time I was doing Hamlet in Dublin and the wheels on one of the mobile walls got stuck..." You settle in for a long ten minutes of looking like you aren't inwardly congratulating yourself.
action: Shout
response: Stage (on the fly bar)
You're on stage! This would be very exciting if a performance were going on. East is the Right Wing, west is the Left Wing. The auditorium is to the north, past the currently unopenable curtain.

Rich lowers the bar, and you, to the stage.
action: You look at what you're carrying with you
response: You are carrying:
a roll of gaffer tape
some papers
a keycard
a flower bouquet
a card
action: You examine papers
response: A pile of indeterminate forms which, with your luck, you will sooner or later have to fill out.
action: Go west
response: (first getting off the fly bar)

The stage left wing is your home away from home. It's full of props that will be required onstage if the show ever starts. South is the left stage corridor, and east is that most glamorous of areas, the stage.

You can see Mandy here.
action: You examine mandy
response: Mandy is your Stage Manager. You answer to her. Usually, that answer is something along the lines of "Yes, I would love to hear about yet another time you saved the day for whatever production you were doing."
action: You ask Mandy about papers
response: Mandy glares at you. You decide not to pursue that line of enquiry.
action: You ask Fred about the actress
response: "I will not apologise for what I said. She does look old."
action: Tape machinery
response: What do you want to tape the machinery to?
action: You look at what you're carrying with you
response: You are carrying:
a roll of gaffer tape
some papers
a keycard
a flower bouquet
a card
action: You ask Fred about the machinery
response: "Back off. This is my kit."
action: You ask Fred about Henry
response: "Why Henry has an actual job I'll never know. He's a wuss. You'll find him backstage, if you feel like losing your faith in humanity."
action: You go east
response: The auditorium is not yet open, and the seats are empty. If you succeed in your task, they will soon be filled with audience, admiring the theatre and dropping things. The stage is to the south, and the atrium is to the north. To the west is the lighting booth.
action: Go south
response: You're on stage! This would be very exciting if a performance were going on. East is the Right Wing, west is the Left Wing. The auditorium is to the north, past the currently unopenable curtain.

You can see a fly bar here.
action: You examine table
response: A small red table for props and other items of supreme importance to the production.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You look at the dressing room door
response: The door to the leading lady's dressing room.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You open the door
response: It isn't something you can open.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You ask Henry about the papers
response: Henry sighs and mops his brow.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You ask Henry about Fred
response: "Why Fred has an actual job I'll never know. He's a jerk. You'll find him in the lighting booth, off the auditorium, if you feel like losing your faith in humanity."

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You ask Henry about the card
response: Henry sighs and mops his brow.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.

Henry sighs and mops his brow.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You ask Henry about the actress
response: "She's a good actress, but man can she get emotional."

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You give papers to Henry
response: Henry doesn't seem interested.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You show the papers to Henry
response: Henry is unimpressed.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: Tape card to door
response: (the dressing room door)
You would achieve nothing by this.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You examine the card
response: "To a beautiful young woman." It's in the theatre manager's handwriting! There is, however, no signiature.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You examine the bouquet
response: Clearly someone has an admirer: this bouquet of roses is enormous.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You take all
response: menu: Lola stops you with a quick slap.
gin and tonic: That seems to belong to the Theatre Manager.
action: You get the menu
response: Lola stops you with a quick slap.
action: You give the card to Manager
response: The manager doesn't even glance at the card before saying "Sir, I know that your ticket says the performance should have started ten minutes ago. I'm very sorry. We're doing everything we can."
action: You ask Manager about the papers
response: "Not another one? Don't worry, sir, you will see a performance tonight. We are experiencing a few slight technical hitches, but the auditorium will open soon." He sips his drink.
action: You ask Lola about Fred
response: "Who? I don't go backstage, you know that."
action: You ask Lola about Manager
response: "The man can run a theatre, but he's got no backbone. Just look at him! If he had an ounce of chutzpah, he'd tell everyone to shut up and wait."
action: You ask Lola about yourself
response: "Why should you ask me about yourself? You tell me all about yourself without me asking."
action: You look at the crowd
response: Just the sort of people whose applause you would love to hear. Right now, they aren't applauding, just shouting. They aren't even shouting in unison.
action: You ask the crowd about Manager
response: You can only do that to something animate.
action: You go to the north
response: > Hints
Credits
> The curtain isn't rising. What should I do?
What's the deal with the sobbing backstage?
How do I get rope for Rich?
How do I get Fred to do what I want?
I've given Rich the rope. Now what?
How do I fix the fly tower mechanism?
action: You ask Fred about Lola
response: "You've just got to be firm with her. Of course, if you're you, you just don't have the build for firmness."
action: You show the card to Fred
response: Fred is unimpressed.
action: You look through the papers
response: You find a safety form in the pile and pocket it. It might be useful later; for what, you aren't sure.
action: You examine the safety
response: A very long form detailing a tedious and redundant risk assessment for the production. It just needs a signiature.
action: Tape card to safety
response: You attach the card to the form in such a way that it looks like the tail end of ten pages of risk assessment.
action: You take card
response: Taken.
action: You examine the card
response: "To a beautiful young woman." It's in the theatre manager's handwriting! It's signed by Fred.
action: You open the door
response: It isn't something you can open.

You hear sobbing from behind the dressing room door.
action: You give the card to Henry
response: "'To a beautiful young woman.' Maybe this'll get Lily out of her funk." With these hopeful words, Henry slides the card under the dressing room door.
The sobbing suddenly stops and you hear Lily's voice through the door. "He didn't mean it after all! Gosh, I look a fright. I've got to get ready -- the curtain goes up soon!"
Henry looks at you with a mixture of surprise and admiration. "Where did you get that? No, actually, I don't want to know. Thanks." He disappears, no doubt off to do important and meaningful theatre-related things.
action: Shout
response: This corridor leads to the stage left wing, due north. It's tastefully decorated with the cheapest possible white tiling. Backstage is east, and a set of stairs lead up to the fly tower.

The stage left wing is your home away from home. It's full of props that will be required onstage if the show ever starts. South is the left stage corridor, and east is that most glamorous of areas, the stage.

You can see Mandy here.

You're on stage! This would be very exciting if a performance were going on. East is the Right Wing, west is the Left Wing. The auditorium is to the north, past the currently unopenable curtain.

You can see a fly bar here.

Rich hears your shouts and raises the bar for you.
action: Shout
response: Rich hears your shouts and lowers the bar for you.
action: You get on the bar
response: You get onto the fly bar.
action: Shout
response: Stage (on the fly bar)
You're on stage! This would be very exciting if a performance were going on. East is the Right Wing, west is the Left Wing. The auditorium is to the north, past the currently unopenable curtain.

Rich lowers the bar, and you, to the stage.
"Thanks," he shouts from the fly tower, "that did it. I'm putting the new rope in now."

Through bravery, intelligence, and not a little good luck, you have saved the production almost single-handedly! The show is a great success, carried from good to great by Lily's splendid singing. Afterwards, Mandy listens to you pour out your story, nods, thanks you quickly, and then begins: "You know, this reminds me of the time I was doing Hamlet in Dublin and the wheels on one of the mobile walls got stuck..." But, for the first time, she doesn't have an audience. Henry is arriving to thank you for saving the production, and actually cuts her off! If not a hero, you are at least no longer unknown.