The Day I mauled ...
by Marius Müller (2008)
Genres: Humor

In this game, you once again play as Alex, a young gay man attending another New Year's Eve party at your boyfriend Paul's. Paul keeps having unexpected problems at his parties, like this Thompson's gazelle from the zoo lapping up all the champagne. Fortunately for Paul, the police never caught you and you're good at solving problems.

action: %
response: Dear Blogreaders,
yesterday was even stranger than last year's New Year's Eve! Paul invited me again, even though the police have been bothering him about this disappeared German and his parents were quite angry about the golf cart in his pool. I hadn't seem him in some weeks, so I was quite nervous when I knocked. He rushed towards me, smiled and hugged me. Little did I know that this would turn into...

The Day I mauled Mao!

Paul, his brown hair in cute little Rastas, lets go of you and looks you up and down. "You look great. You know, we should dance. But I need a little help first." You sigh. He shakes his head quite seriously. "No, nothing like last year - please. I have a table with champagne outside. Well, you heard of the Thompson's Gazelles which have escaped the zoo a few days ago? One of them is out there now, sipping all the Crystal! You need to get the foul beast away from my beverages." He looks down. "But please don't hurt the graceful creature." He pats you on the back and is gone."

A small hallway, brightly lit by a row of neon lights. Dark wooden stairs lead upwards, and a doorframe opens west into the Living Room. A small door under the stairs lead into a storage closet. (Referred to by Paul only as "The Potter Room".)
Your steps don't make any sound on the the thick, red carpet.

You can see a chest of drawers (closed) here.
action: You examine the drawers
response: A chest of drawers, some cheap, flashy IKEA thing.
action: You open it
response: You open the chest of drawers, revealing a sticker.
action: You examine the sticker
response: A small, rectangular sticker, reading: "HAUL-ALL AIR MAIL. Just slap this sticker on anything in the Outdoors you want to have delivered, and we will use our perfectly legal and ethical GPS locator and grab it before you know it." Looks like Paul postponed sending the Christmas present for his hated Uncle Wally again, because his address is already on the sticker.
action: You get it
response: Taken.
action: About yourself
response: As good-looking as ever.
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying:
a sticker
action: You open the small door
response: You open the small door and cram yourself into the Potter room.

Shelves are nailed to the leaning wall. On them, some useless tools gather dust.

There is a Sugar glider nuclear shelter here.

A big box of fire works for later.
action: You look at the shelter
response: A nuclear shelter for Pauls mum's pet sugar glider. You might call her overprotective and stupid. She was, towards Paul, including that classic line: "Have you tried not being gay?"
action: You look at the tools
response: Every shelf carries its own heap of rusty, quite useless tools.
action: Open shelter
response: You open the Nuclear shelter.
action: You look in it
response: The Nuclear shelter is empty.
action: Leave
response: You can see a chest of drawers (empty) here.
action: You go to the west
response: Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room, which one of those big, expensive TV's. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.

Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about the greatly anticipated "Bedtime story."

Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.
action: You look at the purses
response: Most people arrived directly from last-minute College courses and brought their stuff with them.
action: You ask the people about the tom waits
response: You have to save this party before you can participate in the idle chat.
action: Examine tv
response: It's one of those big, plasma things. Pauls parents bought it in Paris, and they had some trouble getting it connected. It's currently switched off, because some joker hid the remote.
action: You turn tv on
response: Not possible without the remote.
action: You go south
response: The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.

People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.

On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop. It's plugged in, but also has the battery in it. That's just wasteful on the batteries life span. Wires connect it to some small speakers, providing music. Right now, it's playing:"Ode to Joy" from Beethoven's 9th".
action: You get the battery
response: Taken.
action: Go south
response: Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)

A long paste table is standing here. A white table-cloth has been draped over it, to give it some glamour. The result, contrary to IF conventions, is quite good. Champagne glasses are arranged on it in neat rows.

On the table is a glass of champagne.

A Thomson's gazelle is standing here, swaying a bit, gently licking Champagne from the long glasses.

A small flock of people is lying around in the deck-chairs, most of them still dressed, waving drinks and mumbling to each other in the afternoon glow.They shot occasional glances at the gazelle, but weirder things happen at parties in this part of town.
action: You put the sticker on gazelle
response: Carefully approaching the gazelle, you gently slap the sticker on its black stripe.
You take a step back, hit "z" a few times, and soon hear the sound of a helicopter approaching. It hovers over the party, blowing drinks off the table and leaves into the pool. It then lowers a metallic claw and gently grasps the gazelle, who is to drunk to be scared. She shakes her heard and lookes down at you with those dull eyes, then she is heaved away and out of sight.
action: Look around
response: Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)

A long paste table is standing here. A white table-cloth has been draped over it, to give it some glamour. The result, contrary to IF conventions, is quite good. Champagne glasses are arranged on it in neat rows.

On the table is a glass of champagne.

A small flock of people is lying around in the deck-chairs, most of them still dressed, waving drinks and mumbling to each other in the afternoon glow.
action: You examine Pool
response: A small, pool, lacking a ladder of similiar equipment. It's just a huge body of water, trapped by greenish, ugly tiles.

The shoulder-bag is   drifting around in the swimming pool.

Paul appears by your side. "Hey, thanks for the help! Now we can enjoy the party. I think I can even tolerate Mihanda."
You free yourself from his hug.
"Who?"
"He is a Sri Lankan exchange student. I've met him some days ago and thought it would be funny to invite him. And tell him it's Halloween." He shrugs and smiles that cute little smile, and you find yourself unable to be angry with him.
"So, he's come as Mao and walks around the living room and shouts about the revolution. He even claims he has a bomb! Would you...?"
You sigh.
Paul says, "Thanks. See you later." And he's off.
You start to wonder where he's hiding all the time.
action: You check what you're carrying
response: You are carrying:
a battery
action: You drop the battery
response: Dropped.
action: Swim
response: You test the water and it's friggin" far too hot to swim.
action: Look around
response: Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)

A long paste table is standing here. A white table-cloth has been draped over it, to give it some glamour. The result, contrary to IF conventions, is quite good. Champagne glasses are arranged on it in neat rows.

On the table is a glass of champagne.

A small flock of people is lying around in the deck-chairs, most of them still dressed, waving drinks and mumbling to each other in the afternoon glow.

You can also see a battery here.
action: You get the Champagne
response: No! As a daring adventure person, you know you have to keep your wits about you for the fiendish puzzles that lie ahead. (And the champagne is not a vital item in one of them.)
action: You take the battery
response: Taken.
action: You look at the battery
response: It's a fully powered laptop battery.
action: You examine the undergrowth
response: Thick undergrowth. You think you glimpse something, though.
action: You search it
response: There is a switch in there somewhere. You fight your way through the underbrush, but all you discovered is an old chainsaw.
action: You get the chainsaw
response: You already have that.
action: You look at it
response: It's not the cool kind of big and loud and smoky chainsaw, but a safer, small one, for gardening purposes. Powered with electricity. It has an unusual plug, one you've never seen before. European, perhaps.Of course, the little "CHARGE" light is completly dark.
action: You examine the plug
response: It's an unusal plug, which won't fit any sockets. (So, it wouldn't make sense to painfully have them implemented in every room.)
action: You look at the wall
response: Quite high. But climbable.
action: You go to the north
response: The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.

People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.

On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop. It's plugged in.Wires connect it to some small speakers, providing music.
Right now, it's playing:"On the edge of a cliff" by The Streets.
action: You go to the north
response: Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room, which one of those big, expensive TV's. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.

Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about Textfyre.

Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.

You can also see Mao here.
action: You examine Mao
response: This guy makes an unconvincing Mao. And an unconvincing threat, for that matter. He is wearing something that vaguely resembles an Anime-junkies idea of a Mao suit. He is waving an obviously fake bomb around.
action: You examine the bomb
response: Oh wait. That's isn't a dud. It's the real thing! A bomb!! You're all doomed!!! You have to do something !!1! Quick !!1!!
action: You ask Mao for the bomb
response: "Hey, how come nobody is the least bit worried about the bomb?"
"People don't see what they can't believe is there."
action: You ask Mao about the bomb
response: "Uhm, can't we all just get along?"
"No, I will bomb you capitalists to hell!"

(Actually, don't sweat it. You can't die in this game.)
action: You take bomb
response: You don't dare go for the bomb. What if he activates it? You're changes of getting laid will decrease radically once you're blown to bits.

(Well, you can, but it's an easter egg.)
action: You take the bomb
response: You don't dare go for the bomb. What if he activates it? You're changes of getting laid will decrease radically once you're blown to bits.
action: Kiss mao
response: Keep your mind on the game.
action: You get Mao laid
response: (lacerating would be more appropriate)
The chainsaw isn't running.

I only understood you as far as wanting to get Mao.
action: You go to the east
response: A small hallway, brightly lit by a row of neon lights. Dark wooden stairs lead upwards, and a doorframe opens west into the Living Room. A small door under the stairs lead into a storage closet. (Referred to by Paul only as "The Potter Room".)
Your steps don't make any sound on the the thick, red carpet.

You can see a chest of drawers (empty) here.
action: Go upward
response: Paul has forbidden any entrance for either you or anyone else to the rest of the House for the night. Aside from a a seductive "Maybe later, when we're alone", that is.
action: You go west
response: Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room, which one of those big, expensive TV's. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.

Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about how some singers suck, even though their songs are great.

Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.

You can also see Mao here.
action: You go to the south
response: The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.

People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.

On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop. It's plugged in.Wires connect it to some small speakers, providing music.
Right now, it's playing:""Sober" by P!nk.
action: You drop all
response: chainsaw: Dropped.
battery: Dropped.
action: You climb wall
response: You manage to scramble over the wall.

You are at the foot of a small, sloping hill, the lawn neatly cut. You can go eastwards, uphill. The wall of Pauls garden is here.
action: You look at the wall
response: Quite high. But climbable.
action: Go east
response: You are on top of one of the innumberable hills of the golf course. You can see the whole golf course around you, which is boring as hell. The only interesting part seems to be one of the entrance gates to the North-East.

You can see a golf cart (empty) here.
action: You examine the cart
response: The golf cart is empty.
action: You go to the northeast
response: A metal gate bares the way out to a lovely country lane.

You can see a plank here.
action: You examine the plank
response: A wooden plank.
action: You open gate
response: It seems to be locked.
action: Look around
response: A metal gate bares the way out to a lovely country lane.
action: You go to the south-west
response: You are on top of one of the innumberable hills of the golf course. You can see the whole golf course around you, which is boring as hell. The only interesting part seems to be one of the entrance gates to the North-East.

You can see a golf cart (empty) here.
action: You get in the cart
response: You get into the golf cart.
action: Go outside
response: You get out of the golf cart.

You are on top of one of the innumberable hills of the golf course. You can see the whole golf course around you, which is boring as hell. The only interesting part seems to be one of the entrance gates to the North-East.

You can see a golf cart (empty) here.
action: You go to the west
response: You are at the foot of a small, sloping hill, the lawn neatly cut. You can go eastwards, uphill. The wall of Pauls garden is here.
action: You drop the plank
response: Prodding up the plank, you build a make-shift ramp...again.
action: Look around
response: You are at the foot of a small, sloping hill, the lawn neatly cut. You can go eastwards, uphill. The wall of Pauls garden is here.

The plank is prodded against the wall, a make-shift ramp.
action: You enter the cart
response: You get into the golf cart.
action: You go to the west
response: You could jump the golf cart into the pool, and it would be fun, but no. No. Paul would not be amused."
action: Look around
response: Hilltop (in the golf cart)
You are on top of one of the innumberable hills of the golf course. You can see the whole golf course around you, which is boring as hell. The only interesting part seems to be one of the entrance gates to the North-East.
action: Go northeast
response: Entrance Gate (in the golf cart)
A metal gate bares the way out to a lovely country lane.
action: You open Gate
response: It seems to be locked.
action: You go outside
response: You get out of the golf cart.
action: Go outside
response: A metal gate bares the way out to a lovely country lane.

You can see a golf cart (empty) here.

But you aren't in anything at the moment.
action: Go southwest
response: You are on top of one of the innumberable hills of the golf course. You can see the whole golf course around you, which is boring as hell. The only interesting part seems to be one of the entrance gates to the North-East.
action: You go west
response: You are at the foot of a small, sloping hill, the lawn neatly cut. You can go eastwards, uphill. The wall of Pauls garden is here.

The plank is prodded against the wall, a make-shift ramp.
action: You check what you're carrying
response: You are carrying:
a plank
action: You climb the wall
response: You manage to scramble over the wall.

Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)

A long paste table is standing here. A white table-cloth has been draped over it, to give it some glamour. The result, contrary to IF conventions, is quite good. Champagne glasses are arranged on it in neat rows.

On the table is a glass of champagne.

A small flock of people is lying around in the deck-chairs, most of them still dressed, waving drinks and mumbling to each other in the afternoon glow.

You can also see a battery and a chainsaw here.
action: You take the chainsaw
response: Taken.
action: Go north
response: The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.

People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.

On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop. It's plugged in.Wires connect it to some small speakers, providing music.
Right now, it's playing:"All the she wants" by Ace of Base.
action: You look at the wires
response: That can't contain things.

You can't see any such thing.
action: You examine the plug
response: It's an unusal plug, which won't fit any sockets. (So, it wouldn't make sense to painfully have them implemented in every room.)
action: You examine the counter
response: They are weighted down with the buffet.
action: You look around
response: The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.

People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.

On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop. It's plugged in.Wires connect it to some small speakers, providing music.
Right now, it's playing:"Cheeseshop" by David Welbourn".
action: You examine the speakers
response: Small...speakers. Connected ...to the ... laptop.
action: You eat the food
response: (first taking Food)
NOM! NOM! NOM! (There is still much food left.).
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying:
a battery
a chainsaw
action: You get all
response: Partygoers: I don't suppose Partygoers would care for that.
laptop: Removing the music won't improve the party.
benches: That's hardly portable.
Food: NOM! NOM! NOM! (There is still much food left.).
speakers: And neither will removing just the speakers, thank you very much.
action: You examine Pool
response: A small, pool, lacking a ladder of similiar equipment. It's just a huge body of water, trapped by greenish, ugly tiles.

The shoulder-bag is   drifting around in the swimming pool.
action: You take all
response: table: That's fixed in place.
The lazy people: I don't suppose The lazy people would care for that. champagne: No! As a daring adventure person, you know you have to keep your wits about you for the fiendish puzzles that lie ahead. (And the champagne is not a vital item in one of them.)
undergrowth: That's hardly portable.
wall: That's hardly portable.
pool.: That's hardly portable.
action: Search table
response: On the table is a glass of champagne.
action: You examine Champagne
response: Some glasses of Champagne.
action: You examine the people
response: They're just people.
action: Go north
response: The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.

People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.

On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop. It's plugged in.Wires connect it to some small speakers, providing music.
Right now, it's playing:""Sober" by P!nk.
action: Go north
response: Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room, which one of those big, expensive TV's. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.

Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about how you really shouldn't code late at night, because there comes a point where you can't think of anything funny anymore.

Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.

You can also see Mao here.
action: You ask Mao about the revolution
response: "Can we talk about this?"
"Nope."
action: You look at the backpacks
response: Most people arrived directly from last-minute College courses and brought their stuff with them.
action: You examine the couches
response: The fake leather couches look quite comfortable.
action: Describe the surroundings
response: Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room, which one of those big, expensive TV's. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.

Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about the upcoming Citizen Kane prequels.

Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.

You can also see Mao here.
action: You examine Mao
response: This guy makes an unconvincing Mao. And an unconvincing threat, for that matter. He is wearing something that vaguely resembles an Anime-junkies idea of a Mao suit. He is waving an obviously fake bomb around.
action: You examine the bomb
response: Oh wait. That's isn't a dud. It's the real thing! A bomb!! You're all doomed!!! You have to do something !!1! Quick !!1!!
action: You follow you
response: "All these people are innocent!"
"What, I have to kill a bunch of virgins?"
action: You tell Mao about Pool
response: "Hey, Mao was Chinese!"
"Whatever, there are cats that look like Hitler!"
action: You ask Mao about the bomb
response: "Can we talk about this?"
"Nope."
action: You move the purses
response: It is fixed in place.
action: You get purses
response: That's fixed in place.
action: Sing
response: Your singing is abominable.
action: Look around
response: Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room, which one of those big, expensive TV's. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.

Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about the greatly anticipated "Bedtime story."

Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.

You can also see Mao here.
action: You go to the east
response: A small hallway, brightly lit by a row of neon lights. Dark wooden stairs lead upwards, and a doorframe opens west into the Living Room. A small door under the stairs lead into a storage closet. (Referred to by Paul only as "The Potter Room".)
Your steps don't make any sound on the the thick, red carpet.

You can see a chest of drawers (empty) here.
action: You examine the carpet
response: It's thick and red.
action: You jump
response: You jump on the spot, fruitlessly.
action: Go upward
response: Paul has forbidden any entrance for either you or anyone else to the rest of the House for the night. Aside from a a seductive "Maybe later, when we're alone", that is.
action: You get the carpet
response: That's hardly portable.
action: You look at the door
response: Which do you mean, the small door or the front door?
action: You examine the small door
response: A small door. Somewhat non-descript.
action: You open the small door
response: You open the small door and cram yourself into the Potter room.

Shelves are nailed to the leaning wall. On them, some useless tools gather dust.

There is a Sugar glider nuclear shelter here.

A big box of fire works for later.
action: You take all
response: Nuclear shelter: Oof! It's too heavy.
box of fireworks: No, it's,as I think was already mentioned,  for later.
Tools: That's hardly portable.
action: You look around
response: Shelves are nailed to the leaning wall. On them, some useless tools gather dust.

There is a Sugar glider nuclear shelter here.

A big box of fire works for later.
action: You examine the shelves
response: Every shelf carries its own heap of rusty, quite useless tools.
action: You open the front door
response: You hesitate. What if there is nothing outside? What if your world is in reality small and underimplented? Is that really worth finding out? You pull back.
action: You cut it
response: (lacerating would be more appropriate)
You've learned from experience that destroying the household isn't considered rebelious these days, and therefore doesn't increase your chance of getting laid.
action: You pull the plug
response: Nothing obvious happens.
action: Go west
response: Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room, which one of those big, expensive TV's. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.

Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about why Doom III is the greatest game ever and people who don't like it just have no idea of gaming.

Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.

You can also see Mao here.
action: You go south
response: The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.

People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.

On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop. It's plugged in.Wires connect it to some small speakers, providing music.
Right now, it's playing:"All the she wants" by Ace of Base.
action: You look under the tv
response: The TV is connected via an UPC (Universal Power converter) to the socket. You pocket the UPC, it might be handy. Just as you pull out the cable, someone seems to have found the remote, because the TV switches on for a few seconds, proclaiming: "UFO's attack major cities!" Now you're glad you pulled it. Nobody needs that 50s sci-fi geek crap.
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying:
an UPC
a battery
a chainsaw
action: You attach UPC to the chainsaw
response: You attach the UPC to the chainsaw. All it needs now is a power source.
action: You examine UPC
response: The UPC not only sound like something out of Star Wars, but also has that cheap yet charming proplike-quality to it. You know, it could've been in the movie for 3 second, not even properly named, but whole book cycles in the EU would be spend concerning it's usefulness and history, only to be squashed by a throw-away line in the prequels. Kinda sad, come to think of it. That sad, french quality. Like kissing a lost love in the rain.
action: You attach the chainsaw to UPC
response: You can only attach the UPC to other things.
action: You attach the battery to the chainsaw
response: The battery fit snugly onto the UPC. Grinning like the Doomguy, you give the start button a short squeeze. The low hum is a bit disappointing.
action: Maul
response: Enter saved game to store: Ok.
action: Maul mao
response: (lacerating would be more appropriate)
You casually walk into the living room, then suddenly run towards Mao, swinging the chainsaw and shouting: "AAAAAAAAH!" Somehow on the couch says: "Hey, that idiot's come as Leatherface!" Rethinking your choice of facial lotion, you cut the baffled Mao in half and quickly shove him and the chainsaw under one of the couches. You learned after last time that hiding the evidence is important. (Well, hiding it at the Crime Scene might not be a good idea.) You can't help but murmur: "Looks like heeee was a real red" and wish you had sunglasses." Then you notice a ticking and pick up the still wet bomb.
Some people seem worried, but after some pothead shouts: "Hey, nice performance art!" everything returns to normal.

TIC! TOC! TIC!
action: You get the bomb
response: You already have that.

TIC! TOC! TIC!
action: Go east
response: A small hallway, brightly lit by a row of neon lights. Dark wooden stairs lead upwards, and a doorframe opens west into the Living Room. A small door under the stairs lead into a storage closet. (Referred to by Paul only as "The Potter Room".)
Your steps don't make any sound on the the thick, red carpet.

You can see a chest of drawers (empty) here.

TIC! TOC! TIC!
action: You go to the east
response: You can't go that way.

TIC! TOC! TIC!
action: You open the small door
response: You open the small door and cram yourself into the Potter room.

Shelves are nailed to the leaning wall. On them, some useless tools gather dust.

There is a Sugar glider nuclear shelter here.

A big box of fire works for later.

TIC! TOC! TIC!
action: Light fireworks
response: This dangerous act would achieve little.

TIC! TOC! TIC!
action: You put bomb in box
response: That can't contain things.

TIC! TOC! TIC!
action: You put the bomb in shelter
response: You put the bomb into the Nuclear shelter.
action: Close shelter
response: Imagine 9746 z's. Imagine 9746 presses of enter. Finally, there is a muffled "Boom!".
action: Open shelter
response: You open the Nuclear shelter.
action: You look in it
response: The Nuclear shelter is empty.

Suddenly, Paul appears.
"What happened to Mihanda?"
"He split." "Anyway, you're not gonna believe this! There is an UFO IN THE GARDEN! They are EVERYWHERE! They're attacking Cities ALL OVER THE WORLD! Even in Europe!!! Humanity is doomed!!! Nobody cares about my party anymore! "
"I'll look into it."
action: You go west
response: Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room, which one of those big, expensive TV's. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.

Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about THE FRIGGIN" UFO IN THE GARDEN!"

Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.
action: You go south
response: The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.

People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.

On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop. It's plugged in.Wires connect it to some small speakers, providing music.
Right now, it's playing:"It's the end of the world as we know it", "Purple People Eater" and "Also sprach Zarathustra" on endless repeat."
action: Go south
response: Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)

A friggin" 50s sci-fi geek crap silver UFO is hovering above the pool.

Scorched corpses lie around here, splattered on the chairs, some just ashy remains. You feel bad, but it sure does smell like barbeque.
action: You look at UFO
response: It's made of some seamless metal, and apart from its existence and the implications, it's rather boring.
action: You get it
response: Taken.
action: You cut UFO
response: (lacerating would be more appropriate)
Unfortunately, your wit isn't that sharp.
action: You check what you're carrying
response: You are carrying:
an UFO
action: You show UFO to the people
response: The crowd of people is unimpressed.
action: You eat UFO
response: That's plainly inedible.
action: You go to the south
response: Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)

Scorched corpses lie around here, splattered on the chairs, some just ashy remains. You feel bad, but it sure does smell like barbeque.
action: Swim
response: In the Swimming Pool (swimming)
You are surrounded by clear, cold water.

You can see a shoulder-bag (empty) here.
action: You examine the bag
response: It's a water-proof shoulder-bag.
action: Wear the bag
response: (first taking the shoulder-bag)
You can't reach it.
action: You hold the breath
response: You hold your breath.
action: Dive
response: You dive down and grab the shoulder bag.
action: Go outside
response: Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)

Scorched corpses lie around here, splattered on the chairs, some just ashy remains. You feel bad, but it sure does smell like barbeque.

You can also see an UFO here.

You can't hold your breath any longer.
action: You open bag
response: That's already open.
action: Wear the bag
response: You put on the shoulder-bag.
action: You climb wall
response: You manage to scramble over the wall.

You are at the foot of a small, sloping hill, the lawn neatly cut. You can go eastwards, uphill. The wall of Pauls garden is here.

The plank is prodded against the wall, a make-shift ramp.
action: You go northeast
response: A metal gate bares the way out to a lovely country lane.

You can see a golf cart (empty) here.
action: You examine the Gate
response: It's a lovely gate, the club's motto "Nos es superbus nostri balls!" engraved above it. (Yes, it has a stone arc, but that's unimportant.)
action: You enter the cart
response: You get into the golf cart.
action: You climb the wall
response: You manage to scramble over the wall.

Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)

Scorched corpses lie around here, splattered on the chairs, some just ashy remains. You feel bad, but it sure does smell like barbeque.

You can also see an UFO here.
action: Go north
response: The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.

People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.

On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop. It's plugged in.Wires connect it to some small speakers, providing music.
Right now, it's playing:"It's the end of the world as we know it", "Purple People Eater" and "Also sprach Zarathustra" on endless repeat."
action: Go north
response: Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room, which one of those big, expensive TV's. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.

Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about THE FRIGGIN" UFO IN THE GARDEN!"

Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.
action: You open small
response: You open the small door and cram yourself into the Potter room.

Shelves are nailed to the leaning wall. On them, some useless tools gather dust.

There is a Sugar glider nuclear shelter here.

A big box of fire works for now.
action: You take the box
response: Yes, these might come in handy now.

Taken.
action: You put the box in the bag
response: You put the box of fireworks into the shoulder-bag.
action: You go to the south
response: Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)

Scorched corpses lie around here, splattered on the chairs, some just ashy remains. You feel bad, but it sure does smell like barbeque.

You can also see an UFO here.
action: You climb wall
response: You manage to scramble over the wall.

You are at the foot of a small, sloping hill, the lawn neatly cut. You can go eastwards, uphill. The wall of Pauls garden is here.

The plank is prodded against the wall, a make-shift ramp.
action: You take the cart
response: You'd have to get out of the golf cart first.
action: You take the box
response: Yes, these might come in handy now.

Taken.
action: You go to the west
response: In the Air (in the golf cart)
The golf cart gains top speed as you rush down the hill! (About 13 mph). Tongue between your lips, you manage to steer it onto the plank, and woosh- you're flying high into the sky, straight towards the UFO!

In the golf cart you can see a box of fireworks.
action: You go outside
response: You jump out of the cart and into the poolabove you, the UFO explodes in a huge, colorful fireball, as if cast by an epic mage on drugs. Debris rain down around you. Luckily, everyone in the pool area was already dead. A few moments of that eerie underwater silence pass, then Paul pulls you out of the water. He has to scream, because some houses in the neighborhood are burning. There are fire engines in the distance. Then the real fireworks start.
Paul wipes the wet hair from your forehead, his warm hand scorching on your cold skin, his eyes dark with worry.
"Some idiot flew a golf cart into the UFO. I wonder how he knew
someone destroyed all their force field with country music only 10 minutes ago."
You shrug. It feels good, resting on Pauls lap.
He strokes your face absent- mindedly.
"You know, with all this alien-tech lying around, it's gonna be an interesting year, 2009."
You smile and close your eyes. "But first things first. Let's get you out of those wet clothes. Hey, are those bloodstains?"