The man-eating, halitosic gorilla of Brazil
by Marius Müller (2011)


action: %
response: The man-eating, halitosic gorilla of Brazil

Command Summary:
LOOK / L          Repeat the last page
INVENTORY / I     Show player inventory
SAVE / S          Save the game
RESTORE / R       Restore the game
QUIT / Q          Quit the game
RESTART / X       Restart the game
HELP / H          This text

Select options by their number. To use an object, type its name as
it appears in the inventory list.

1) Continue.
action: 1
response: There is darkness, and pain at the back of your head. Basic urges flow through your lizard brain, air, food, rest, smoochies, video games. After who knows how long you open your eyes. You're in some kind of interrogation room, small, cramped. The stone carvings on the moss-covered walls make this look like a lazily designed secret room from a videogame. With you in the room is a gorilla in a suit, who looks a bit like Ron Perlman. Only this gorilla has rocket launchers for arms. You close your eyes. "Oh no" you think to yourself, "not again."

And then you remember. The secret mission, from the new boss, who does look something like Michael Gambon: "Somewhere in the Brazilian jungle, there is a new mastermind at work. We know very little, only that he killed our best agent, Bonathan Jlask. And that he's hidden in some secret temple. Well, we've heard you know how to find such places. And how to get into them." You told him you're retired. "No" he said, firmly. "People like you never are." You were about to respond, but his secretary, the spitting image of Kirsten Dunst, already handed you the tickets.
Flash forward. The gorilla is looking at you. "What were you doing here?"

1) "What do you mean? I am a botanist. I was looking for a special plant."
2) "I am a secret agent for the world government!"
action: 1
response: "I left the next biggest town a few days ago. My only companion was my guide, who did look a bit like Alfred Molina. Anyhoo, soon we arrived here and after some searching we found the plant. But then my guide fell into a hole. Some guide, I tell I attached my rope to a nearby statue. Only the statue had to be weighed down with sand from the nearby beach first, which I put in the linen bags which carried the clothes. Then I climbed down the hole. Down there, I felt like being eaten by a grue so I switched on my lamp. Only it didn't have any batteries. And my box full of batteries was guarded by a snake. I found a toy mouse to distract it, so I got my batteries. They were the wrong size. But with them, I could switch on the venilator for Professor Bunglay, who in turn gave me his electric shaver, which did hold the right batteries. So I went back down there again, but when I finally could see, I didn't see my guide, I saw a sleeping tiger!"

1) "I then decided to sneak up to it."
2) "I then decided to wait a bit."
3) "I probably should tell you about the plant!"
action: 1
response: The gorilla tries to wave his rocket launchers dismissively. He fails. He then says, "Who are you trying to fool? You wouldn't approach a dangerous animal if you were,  indeed, a renowned botanist. You know what I think you are? You are  AFGNCAAP, the famous IF agent. I have a hard time making out anything specific about you, and that's just odd for a fictional world that has something as weird as a me, a gorilla with rocket launchers for hands! So tell me, am I right?"

1) "Yes, I am a secret agent. My mission is to kill you."
2) "No. See, this is CYOA. It doesn't even have a parser or an inventory!"
3) "Yeah, a gorilla with rocket launcher hands. That *is* odd. Please tell me your story."
action: 3
response: "Many a year ago, I was a happy AI in a rocket launcher, the newest and deadliest in weapons technology. Straight on our way to skynet, we were. But then some crazy scientist attached a gorilla to me. And now see I how look. Completely stupid! That's why I want to take over the world. Anyway, let me reiterate my question."

The gorilla tries to wave his rocket launchers dismissively. He fails. He then says, "Who are you trying to fool? You wouldn't approach a dangerous animal if you were,  indeed, a renowned botanist. You know what I think you are? You are  AFGNCAAP, the famous IF agent. I have a hard time making out anything specific about you, and that's just odd for a fictional world that has something as weird as a me, a gorilla with rocket launchers for hands! So tell me, am I right?"

1) "Yes, I am a secret agent. My mission is to kill you."
2) "No. See, this is CYOA. It doesn't even have a parser or an inventory!"
3) "Yeah, a gorilla with rocket launcher hands. That *is* odd. Please tell me your story."
action: 2
response: The gorilla, moving his rocket launcher not unlike someone handling chopsticks for the first time, puts three items down before you. A brass lantern, an elven sword and a platinum bar. Sweat breaks out on your brow. Oh no. He's on to you. "Now tell me, Mr. or Mrs. AFGNCAAP...what would be your first action if I do this...?"
And, pressing a button on his one launcher with his other launcher, your cuffs click open. Free. But it's no use.

1) >GET ALL
2) >GET ALL
3) >GET ALL
action: 2
response: Quicker than you can say cutscene, you're tied up again. The gorilla looks at you. "You know, I always envied you. Getting all the treasures, defending all those thiefs. Solving all those fiendish puzzles. But now look. What has the world come to? All these angsty protagonists with their guilt-ridden backstories, all these branching narratives. You live in a world that no longer needs you. The puzzle is dead. But don't worry, soon are you!"
With that, he lifts his rocket launcher!

1) Try to get back to that one childhood memory you always shut out, and mentally reconcile with your mother.
2) Choose any incidental memory that just happens to pop up.
3) "Please, we can talk about this!"
action: 1
response: Okay, you finally reconcile with all she has said and done. After all those items in her old house triggered those memories, you feel like you finally understood her. You have grown yourself, in the intervening years. You now longer wear the innocent face of a child or the self-righteous, stern look of a teenager. You're grown. Maybe you have grown to forgive. Who kno..Sorry to interrupt, but you're being blown apart by a rocket launcher.
***You have died.***

X) Restart
R) Restore
Q) Quit

1) Look at what others had to say about this.
action: 1
response: Blurbs used:
"Dude, even if you somehow get a movie deal out of this, it's rude to be picking out the actors already."
-- Sam Kabo Ashwell
"Unreliable narrator. Unreliable parser. For the love of little green eyeballs, why isn't anything in this game reliable?!?"
-- Carolyn VanEseltine
"The game's eponymous animal proved to be NONE of the adjectives the title proclaimed him to be, thank goodness."
-- Colin Sandel
"Smells like team spirit."
--Tanga
"The spiritual successor to Galatea, if Galatea had been about a gorilla with rocket launchers for arms."
-- C.E.J. Pacian
"Seemingly engineered to punch you right in the green slimy guts of your lizard brain."
--Sarah Morayati
"The minutely detailed simulation of the plant life was remarkable, if somewhat overwhelming."
-- David Fletcher
"The chariot race was one of the most thrilling, timed puzzles that I've ever enjoyed."
-- Royce Odle
action: Examine
response: Are you sure you want to restart?
action: Y.
response: The man-eating, halitosic gorilla of Brazil

Command Summary:
LOOK / L          Repeat the last page
INVENTORY / I     Show player inventory
SAVE / S          Save the game
RESTORE / R       Restore the game
QUIT / Q          Quit the game
RESTART / X       Restart the game
HELP / H          This text

Select options by their number. To use an object, type its name as
it appears in the inventory list.

1) Continue.
action: 3
response: Coca (Erythroxylum coca) is a plant in the family Erythroxylaceae, native to western South America. The plant plays a significant role in traditional Andean culture. Coca is best known throughout the world because of its alkaloids, which include cocaine, a powerful stimulant. The plant resembles a blackthorn bush, and grows to a height of 2-3 m (7-10 ft). The branches are straight, and the leaves, which have a green tint, are thin, opaque, oval, and taper at the extremities. A marked characteristic of the leaf is an areolated portion bounded by two longitudinal curved lines, one line on each side of the midrib, and more conspicuous on the under face of the leaf.
The flowers are small, and disposed in little clusters on short stalks; the corolla is composed of five yellowish-white petals, the anthers are heart-shaped, and the pistil consists of three carpels united to form a three-chambered ovary. The flowers mature into red berries.
The leaves are sometimes eaten by the larvae of the moth Eloria noyesi.

There are twelve main species and varieties. Two subspecies, Erythroxylum coca var. coca and Erythroxylum coca var. ipadu, are almost indistinguishable phenotypically; a related high cocaine-bearing species has two subspecies, Erythroxylum novogranatense var. novogranatense and Erythroxylum novogranatense var. truxillense that are phenotypically similar, but morphologically distinguishable. Under the older Cronquist system of classifying flowering plants, this was placed in an order Linales; more modern systems place it in the order Malpighiales.
Cultivation

Coca is traditionally cultivated in the lower altitudes of the eastern slopes of the Andes (the Yungas), or the highlands depending on the species grown. Since ancient times, its leaves have been an important trade commodity between the lowlands where it is grown and the higher altitudes where it is widely consumed by the Andean peoples of Peru, Colombia, Ecuador, Venezuela, Bolivia and northwestern Argentina.

1) -go on-
2) -continue telling the story-
action: 2
response: "So?" says the Gorilla, irritated."

1) I then decided to wait some more."
2) "I then decided to sneak nearer up on it."
action: 1
response: "So?" says the Gorilla, irritated. "Then what?"

1) I then decided to wait some more."
2) "I then decided to sneak up to it."
action: 1
response: "So?" says the Gorilla, irritated. "Then what?" Did you lie around all day?"

1) I then decided to wait some more."
2) "I then decided to sneak up to it."
action: 1
response: "So?" says the Gorilla, irritated. "Then what?" Did you lie around all day? What happened?"

1) I then decided to wait some more."
2) "I then decided to sneak up to it."
action: 1
response: "So?" says the Gorilla, irritated. "Then what?" Did you lie around all day? What happened? What? Eh?"

1) "I then decided to sneak up to it."
2) "I then decided to wait some more."
action: 1
response: The gorilla tries to wave his rocket launchers dismissively. He fails. He then says, "Who are you trying to fool? You wouldn't approach a dangerous animal if you were,  indeed, a renowned botanist. You know what I think you are? You are  AFGNCAAP, the famous IF agent. I have a hard time making out anything specific about you, and that's just odd for a fictional world that has something as weird as a me, a gorilla with rocket launchers for hands! So tell me, am I right?"

1) "Yes, I am a secret agent. My mission is to kill you."
2) "No. See, this is CYOA. It doesn't even have a parser or an inventory!"
3) "Yeah, a gorilla with rocket launcher hands. That *is* odd. Please tell me your story."
action: 2
response: "So?" says the Gorilla, irritated. "Then what?" Did you lie around all day? What happened? What? Eh? Speak up!"

1) "I then decided to wait some more."
2) "I then decided to sneak up to it."
action: 1
response: "So?" says the Gorilla, irritated. "Then what?" Did you lie around all day? What happened? Nothing? Are you still there?"

1) "I then decided to wait some more."
2) "I then decided to sneak up to it."
action: 1
response: "With a back-to-basics roar the gorilla storms up to you. He growls, inches from your face. Finally he then hits you on the nose with a rocket launcher. Which is far less funny than it sounds. "STOP STALLING, HUMAN!"

1) "I then decided to sneak nearer to it."
action: You check your inventory
response: You are carrying:
Some papers you picked up three adventures ago. They are held
together by a paperclip.
action: 1
response: The gorilla sighs. "So, that's it? I don't even need to torture you! Well, goodbye." He aims one of his rocket launchers at you. For a second you ponder ducking.
***You have died***

X) Restart
R) Restore
Q) Quit

1) Look at what others had to say about this.
action: All
response: (Some papers you picked up three adventures ago. They are held together by a paperclip.)
You can't use that here.
action: You check your inventory
response: You are carrying:
Some papers you picked up three adventures ago. They are held
together by a paperclip.
action: 2
response: Hey, you found a schematic for a rocket launcher in that one game on that space station with the pirates. It said if someone said "Niereleelrieleilieleelieleilieleiii", the rocket launcher would deactivate.

1) Niereleelrieleliieleelieleilieleiii
2) Niereleelreileilieleelieleilieleiii
3) Niereleelreileilieleeleileilieleiii
4) Niereleelrieleilieleelieleilieleiii
5) Niereleelreileilieleleeileilieleiii
6) Niereleelreileilleleeleileilieleiii
action: 4
response: Like a stubborn idea hammered into a pupil's head by a determined teacher, the rocket launcher clicks. "Uh?" says the gorilla. "Must reactive it. Sorry for the hassle. This'll just take a second."

1) Do nothing, as it looks like you can do nothing. Just wait for death. Nothing to do. No, no. Just see another death message.
action: Papers
response: While the gorilla is distracted, you bend the paperclip into a lockpick and you are free. As he sees this, the brute follows clich? instead of logic and runs away! You are right behind him , through endless, winding catacombs, always nearly but never quite losing him, as he rounds a corner or climbs some vines. Finally, there is blinding daylight! You blink into it, as you see your enemy jump into one of two waiting, ostrich-pulled chariots. You jump into the second one and whip the ostriches into moving! (Probably breaking some Protection of Animals Act.) Speaking of harmed animals, there is a ridiculously cute baby sloth in the middle of the road!

1) You drive over it, gaining more speed.
2) You swerve around.
action: 2
response: Woosh! The baby sloth looks at you with big, thankful eyes. This will have no gameplay consequences whatsoever. I am making an important point about morality in games here!

The exciting chase (music not included) leads you up a stony mountain path. It grows smaller and smaller, but you gain on the gorilla. He sees you behind him and pulls his reins to the right, to crash, er, right into you! You have to make a quick decision!1! No time to lose !11!1

1) You decide to slow your ostriches a bit.
2) You decide to whip your ostriches into full speed.
3) You decide to swerve into him yourself!
action: 3
response: You decide to ram the gorilla! This works better than expected. Both chariots get wedged into each other, and soon you both swerve off the road and tumble down the mountain in a twisted mass of ostrich, chariot, gorilla and player character. You are swallowed by the green of the jungle. You are food for the insects, etc. This is not the optimal ending, in case you're wondering.

X) Restart
R) Restore
Q) Quit

1) Look at what others had to say about this.
action: 1
response: You slow down, and predictably, the gorilla swerves his chariot - right into thin air! Ostriches and chariot dance the same old, short and painful dance with gravity, but the gorilla clinges to the edge of the rock. He can't really get a grip with his rocket launcher, though, and he slides downwards ever so slowly. "LISTEN!" he screams, scrambling. "This is bigger than you and me. Bigger than everything! I can give you names, addresses, phone numbers, twitter names, flickr links."
"Who is it, primate? Who is behind this sketchily defined "this?" " "It's the Player-PC divsion, they're onto us, the implementors are onto us, but it's too late it's
***Source file ended in the middle of quoted text: main source text. This probably means that a quotation mark is missing somewhere. If you are using Inform with syntax colouring, look for where the quoted-text colour starts. (Sometimes this problem turns up because a piece of quoted text contains a text substitution in square brackets which in turn contains another piece of quoted text - this is not allowed, and causes me to lose track.)***

You have won!

X) Restart
R) Restore
Q) Quit

1) Look at what others had to say about this.