The Interview
by Mark Walsh (2020)


action: %
response: The only things standing between you and your dream job are the fat man who would be your boss, the sarcastic little bastard who runs HR, and this surprise interview exam.



"You got all that?"

Iggy, the head of HR, is waiting for your response. You've spent weeks planning and practicing for this interview, and you may have blown it already.

He was explaining some kind of exam and what you'd need to pass. But you were so nervous about meeting the big boss and screwing up the interview that his mention of an exam drove you into a complete panic. You didn't hear a single word.

"Of course you've got it! You're a smart little fella." Iggy smirks as he stands up and leads you to the exam room. The door slams. (Bang!)

Iggy is gone. Your chest starts to tighten���

A small room without flair. The large door you entered is behind you. On the opposite wall is a shelf running the length of the entire wall. The shelf supports a number of storage bins. A digital display hangs close to the ceiling above the shelf.

A table is located in the center of the room.

On the shelf is a box.
action: Examine box
response: A colorfully painted box big enough to fit a couple of items. The exterior of the box is decorated with colorful abstract patterns. The box has a simple lid.
action: You open the box
response: You open the box and see that the box is empty.
action: You examine bins
response: A number of storage bins are neatly arranged on the shelf.

In the bins are a clown head, a crooked bar, a dowel, a spring, a yellow block, a black fuzzy ball, a red block, a set of wheels, a blue block, and a robot head.
action: You examine the display
response: The digital display reads, "9:03 am - 0".
action: You examine patterns
response: The exterior of the box is decorated with colorful abstract patterns. There is a small hole on one side of the box among the abstract patterns.
action: You examine the robot head
response: Its expression is so serious. Robots are like that sometimes.
action: You examine spring
response: A metal spring. You resist being distracted by its technical specifications.
action: You examine the wheels
response: A small wooden block with four wheels attached.
action: You examine the dowel
response: A short wooden dowel.
action: You put the dowel in the hole
response: (first taking the dowel)
The dowel doesn't fit in the small hole.
action: You look at the bar
response: A crooked bar.
action: You look at the clown head
response: It seems to be grinning at you.
action: You examine fuzzy
response: A black, squishy ball with fuzz.
action: You put the box on the table
response: (first taking the box)
You put the box on the table.
action: You put the bar in the hole
response: (first taking the crooked bar)
You put the crooked bar into the small hole on the side of the box.
action: You examine the red block
response: A wooden block with the sides painted different shades of red and pink.
action: You examine lid
response: The lid is adorned with a simplistic painting of the face of a clown. It is connected to the box by a brass hinge. The lid is open.
action: You look at the blue block
response: A wooden block with the sides painted different shades of blue and purple.
action: You put the spring in the box
response: (first taking the spring)
You put the spring into the box.
action: You attach the spring to the clown head
response: (attached)

You just attached two parts! Maybe you're getting the hang of this.

Iggy's voice comes over the loudspeaker, "Keep up the good work!"
action: You attach the spring to the red block
response: (attached)
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying:
a dowel
action: You put the red block in the box
response: (first taking the red block)
The red block with its attached parts is too large to fit in the box.
action: You detach the red block
response: (detached)
action: You look in box
response: The interior of the box is plain compared with the exterior.

The box is empty.
action: You put the blue block in the box
response: (first taking the blue block)
The blue block with its attached parts is too large to fit in the box.
action: You put the red block in the box
response: You put the red block into the box.
action: Examine box
response: A colorfully painted box big enough to fit a couple of items. The exterior of the box is decorated with colorful abstract patterns. The box has a simple lid.

In the box is a red block (with the spring and the clown head attached).

The crooked bar is in the hole.
action: Close box
response: You cannot close the box. There are too many items attached and sticking out from the box.
action: You put the bar in the spring
response: (first taking the crooked bar)
That can't contain things.
action: Close box
response: You cannot close the box. There are too many items attached and sticking out from the box.

The door opens and Iggy walks in. "Looks like you are having trouble. If you need some help, you can press this button." Iggy points to a button next to the door. Funny, you didn't notice that button before. "I'll nudge you in the right direction, but I am not going to take the exam for you. Is that clear?" He doesn't wait for an answer. The door slams behind him.
action: You take red block
response: Taken.
action: You put fuzzy in the box
response: (first taking the black fuzzy ball)
The black fuzzy ball with its attached parts is too large to fit in the box.
action: You squeeze fuzzy
response: You squeeze the black fuzzy ball and feel the stress melt away.
action: Look around
response: A small room without flair. The large door you entered is behind you. There is a button next to the door. On the opposite wall is a shelf running the length of the entire wall. The shelf supports a number of storage bins. A digital display hangs close to the ceiling above the shelf.

A table is located in the center of the room.

On the table is a box.
action: You examine table
response: A solid wood table built at the perfect height for getting the job done.

On the table is a box.
action: You examine the wheels
response: A small wooden block with four wheels attached.
action: You attach the spring to the wheels
response: (attached)
action: You examine the shelf
response: Nothing fancy, a simple wooden shelf. A number of storage bins are neatly arranged on the shelf.
action: You examine bins
response: A number of storage bins are neatly arranged on the shelf.

In the bins are a yellow block, a set of wheels, and a robot head.
action: Search bins
response: In the bins are a yellow block, a set of wheels, and a robot head.
action: You detach the yellow
response: (detached)

From the corner of your vision, you notice the door is open and Iggy is watching you. "I'm not trying to rush you... But it looks like you are having some... uh, challenges, and you didn't bother to push this button." Iggy points to the button. "We do have other applicants waiting to take the exam. Maybe you should push the button for some help." Iggy slowly backs out of the room, shifting his eyes back and forth from you to the button until the door is closed.
action: You examine the dowel
response: You're not really good with details, but you force yourself to examine the dowel more carefully because it might be important and you really want to ace this exam. The dowel is short and stubby. One end is sanded down to a rounded finish. It has been stained and shellacked. There is an opening in the opposite unfinished end. Now that you think about it, it kind of looks like a handle.
action: You put the handle on the bar
response: You insert the crooked bar into the opening in end of the handle and push the handle until it clicks into place. The handle helps get a better grip on the crooked bar. Wait, what? This is a crank! You are so excited. Maybe you can pass this exam after all.

Iggy's voice comes over the loudspeaker, "Not bad. You're on the right track!"
action: You turn the handle
response: (turning the crank)
Nothing obvious happens.
action: You put the spring in the box
response: You put the spring into the box.
action: You put the crank in the hole
response: You put the crank into the small hole.
action: You look at the spring
response: It's tempting, but you resist being distracted by its technical specifications.

Attached to the spring is the clown head.
action: Keep going
response: You give into temptation. You wonder about the technical specifications of the spring such as its material, wire diameter to coil count ratio, and whether the end configurations are square or grounded. A few moments go by and you realize that these details are just distracting you from the exam. You promise to stay focused and not get distracted again.

Attached to the spring is the clown head.
action: You look at the box
response: A colorfully painted box big enough to fit a couple of items. The exterior of the box is decorated with colorful abstract patterns. The box has a simple lid.

In the box is a spring (with the clown head attached).

The crank is in the hole.
action: You close the lid
response: Pressing the contents down, you force the lid of the box closed. (Click!)
action: You turn the crank
response: Gripping the handle, you turn the crank one full revolution. As you turn the crank, the box plays the well known children's tune which stops as soon as you stop turning.
action: You open the box
response: It's stuck.
action: You turn the crank
response: You turn the crank again, another one full revolution. The children's tune continues until you stop turning.
action: You turn the crank
response: You turn the crank another full revolution. The children's tune continues and stops just before the climax of the tune when you stop turning.
action: You turn the crank
response: (Boing!) The spring violently shoots out from the box almost hitting you in the face. You didn't see where it went. You smile as if you meant to do that just in case Iggy is watching.
action: Look around
response: A small room without flair. The large door you entered is behind you. There is a button next to the door. On the opposite wall is a shelf running the length of the entire wall. The shelf supports a number of storage bins. A digital display hangs close to the ceiling above the shelf.

A table is located in the center of the room.

On the table is a box.
action: You look at the box
response: A colorfully painted box big enough to fit a couple of items. The exterior of the box is decorated with colorful abstract patterns. The box has a simple lid.

The crank is in the hole.
action: You look under the table
response: You see the spring (with the clown head attached).
action: You get the spring
response: Taken.
action: You attach the spring to the interior
response: (attached)

Iggy's voice comes over the loudspeaker, "Strong work! You got this!"
action: You close the lid
response: Pressing the contents down, you force the lid of the box closed. (Click!)

Iggy's voice comes over the loudspeaker, "Impressive!"
action: You turn the crank
response: Gripping the handle, you turn the crank one full revolution. As you turn the crank, the box plays the well known children's tune which stops as soon as you stop turning.
action: Keep going
response: You turn the crank again, another one full revolution. The children's tune continues until you stop turning.
action: Continue
response: You turn the crank another full revolution. The children's tune continues and stops just before the climax of the tune when you stop turning.
action: You continue
response: "(Boing!) "Pop goes the weasel!" the music concludes. You stare at your Jack-in-the-Box in awe! It is beautiful! Your first toy-building experience ever! You are interrupted by a loud buzz coming from the display. You look up. The display reads, "10:33 am - 1.

"Ho ho ho, HO HO HO!" You spin around. The big boss, Santa, is standing behind you. "Iggy tells me this would be your first job at the North Pole. Nicely done with the toy-building exam. I think you will prove most valuable on the lines this season." Iggy looks satisfied. Santa continues, "Iggy will get you a peppermint eggnog and introduce you to some of the other line elves in the East wing wood shop. Welcome to the team, kid."

Your rank is Toy Shop Line Elf. Congratulations!