PAXLess
by Royce Odle (2010)

You're someone in orbit who wants to attend PAX-East in Boston, so you send a remote-bot in your place. Now that you're effectively in the hotel, all you have to do is find the Interactive Fiction Suite!

action: Go south
response: In the spirit of Interactive Fiction, the entrance to the Secrets of Great IF panel is a maze. Oh, this looks like it'll be fun.
action: About yourself
response: Running self-diagnostic:
LOCOMOTION: Good
SENSORS:
+  VISUAL: Good
+  AUDIO: Good
+  CHEM: OFFLINE
MANIPULATORS: Good
action: Xyzzy
response: You are enveloped by orange smoke. When it clears, you see that you're back at the beginning of the maze.

A promising start to a rather well-made, indoor maze.
action: Describe the surroundings
response: A promising start to a rather well-made, indoor maze.
action: You take all
response: Nothing to take.
action: Go south
response: Breaking through the wall is frowned upon by management, might as well get into the spirit of things and solve the maze.
action: Look around
response: Bits of the roof and ceiling are on the floor around you. To the
south you see the entrance to the line for the IF Suite.
action: You examine the sign
response: You can't go that way.

You haven't seen anything like that.
action: Go east
response: This part of the maze seems easy enough, only three possible directions to go; west, south or east.
action: You go to the east
response: A mostly featureless, white room. There's a pedestal with a
spotlight in the center. The only way out is back to the west.
Sitting on White Pedestal is a Galatea Doll.
action: You examine Doll
response: It's a small doll with yellow hair and a green dress. Sticking out of the back of the doll is a pull-string.
action: You pull the string
response: The Galatea Doll says:
"!slled aetalaG gnikam ,deppart em tog s'ylimE !!PLEH"
action: You pull the string
response: The Galatea Doll says:
"A small portion of the procedes from my sale go
towards the 'Save the Alaskan Wilderness' fund."

The Galatea Doll says:
"It's a huge rock in the sky, or so I'm told."
action: You pull the string
response: The Galatea Doll says:
"I don't know what you call them."
action: You pull the string
response: The Galatea Doll says:
"It was full of sunshine."
action: You take Doll
response: Taken.
action: You examine the pedestal
response: A white pedestal standing about four feet high.
action: You go to the south
response: Not too bad, at least it's not a twisty maze, all passages alike. On one of the walls is a piece of wiki-art.* Exits lead to the north, south and west.

*NOTE: wiki-art was a short-lived [citation needed] art-form where people printed out wiki pages poster sized and sold them. It didn't last very long.
action: You examine the art
response: You study the wiki-art. It seems to be an article about the Great Potato Famine in Ireland. You are, however, pretty sure the part about Kathy Ireland has nothing to do with the rest of it.
action: Go south
response: A twist, but not a twisty twist, only two directions to go: north or east.
A Potato is here.
action: You get Potato
response: Taken.
action: You examine it
response: (assuming you mean the Potato)
A brown, bumpy potato. Curiously, there's a lamp carved into the side of the potato.
action: You go east
response: This is the one room that all four cardinal directions are open to you. There is a panel on a pedestal with a red switch on it.
Control Panel is here.
action: You examine Panel
response: A black pedestal with a red switch on it. It stands about chest high right in the center of the room. Currently it is switched off.
action: You turn on the Panel
response: An over-sized mallet appears above your head and bonks you. You're feeling a little disoriented at the moment.
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying a Galatea Doll and a Potato.
action: Frotz Potato
response: A puff of green smoke swirls around the potato and dissapates.
action: Frotz
response: Be a little more specific about what you'd like to frotz.
action: You examine Potato
response: A brown, bumpy potato. Curiously, there's a lamp carved into the side of the potato. And it's glowing faintly.
action: You go north
response: Three of the walls are covered with Fettucini art. In the middle is
a pedestal with a box on top.
action: Examine box
response: A dark, ebony-esque box that is slightly larger than a bread box. currently, it is currently closed.
action: You open the box
response: Opened.
action: Examine box
response: A dark, ebony-esque box that is slightly larger than a bread box. currently, it is currently open.
action: You look in the Box
response: Inside Ebony-esque Box is A bowl of fettucini.
action: You examine Fettucini
response: A bowl of well preserved fettucini.
action: You go to the east
response: Perhaps you ought to close the box before leaving.
action: Close Box
response: Closed.
action: You go to the east
response: Not too bad, at least it's not a twisty maze, all passages alike. On one of the walls is a piece of wiki-art.* Exits lead to the north, south and west.

*NOTE: wiki-art was a short-lived [citation needed] art-form where people printed out wiki pages poster sized and sold them. It didn't last very long.
action: Go south
response: A twist, but not a twisty twist, only two directions to go: north or east.
action: You go east
response: This is the one room that all four cardinal directions are open to you. There is a panel on a pedestal with a red switch on it.
Control Panel is here.
action: You go east
response: A mostly featureless, white room. There's a pedestal with a
spotlight in the center. The only way out is back to the west.
action: You examine the switch
response: A black pedestal with a red switch on it. It stands about chest high right in the center of the room. Currently it is switched on.
action: You turn off the switch
response: A buffered analgesic appears on the control panel. You gratefully take it then swallow it. Ahh, now you feel much better.
action: You go east
response: Nearing the end, or are you?
This room looks a little unfinished, as if those putting this maze together were running out of steam. Which means you're probably getting near the end.
action: Go south
response: This is it! The final room of the maze. To the east, you can see the entrance to the IF Suite. There is an intriguing sign on one of the walls.
action: You read the sign
response: Guvf fvta vf urer whfg gb naabl lbh.
action: You go east
response: The entrance to the Interactive Fiction Suite.
To the east, you can see the IF Suite, with many of the people you'd like to meet. (you hope, you only know what a couple of them actually look like.
The Generic Enforcer is here.
action: You examine Enforcer
response: Red shirt, pants, face, etc...
All in all, rather unremarkable looking.
action: You pull the string
response: The Galatea Doll says:
"What kind of exhibition? It's an art exhibition."
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying a Galatea Doll, a Potato (providing light), and A bowl of fettucini.
The guards stomach rumbles
action: You give Potato to Enforcer
response: The Generic Enforcer politely refuses.
action: You give Fettucini to Enforcer
response: Thanks, I was getting really hungry.
action: You go to the east
response: This is it, the Interactive Fiction Suite. You've made it and now
you get to mingle with the hoi-palloi if IFdom. Seems a bit quiet, you look around and realize that you're late and missed all the fun.
action: Go upwards
response: The entrance to the Interactive Fiction Suite.
To the east, you can see the IF Suite, with many of the people you'd like to meet. (you hope, you only know what a couple of them actually look like.
The Generic Enforcer is here. The Generic Enforcer has A bowl of fettucini.
action: Go south
response: In the spirit of Interactive Fiction, the entrance to the Secrets of Great IF panel is a maze. Oh, this looks like it'll be fun.
action: Go south
response: Yet another boring room with only two exits; north and west.
action: Go west
response: E/W Corridor in Maze
A plain, featureless hallway that leads east and west.
action: You go west
response: An undecorated corner in the maze, seems you can only go either
north, or east.
action: You go north
response: You stumble around in the dark.
action: You look
response: It's too dark to see anything.
action: Go north
response: A Grue exhibit. Posters line the walls, depicting various artists' depiction of what a grue might look like.
Poster 1, Poster 2, and Poster 3 are here.
action: You examine Poster 1
response: This poster must have used at least three black crayons, as there is nothing but blackness and a waxy residue. Below the poster is a small inscription that reads 'Grue that ate my dad' by: Jimmy F., aged 8.
action: Examine poster 2
response: This poster is reproduction of the famous oil on canvas 'Grue attack' by Emmenly Small. There are two, small yellow-green eyes barely visible in the bottom right third of the image.
action: You look at the Poster 3
response: A reprint of the only known, authenticted photo of a grue. It was found by the bones of the famous, cave-crawler J. Lottie. All that's really visible are slavering fangs, closing around the lens of the camera.
action: You go north
response: A featureless, white room with two exits: east and south.
action: Go east
response: A stuffed pig in a sty sits in the corner of the room. The pig looks more intelligent than it has a right to. On the wall behind the display is a sign. Exits lead to the north and to the west.
action: You read the sign
response: Dis is da famous pig dat Grunk lost all dem years ago (Tweee.).
action: You look at the pig
response: He's pink, fat and stuffed.
action: Go north
response: There is a door here with a sign taped to it. Obvious exits are
well, only one...south.
action: You read the sign
response: Sorry, but the IF Suite has been moved to the other room.
Someone has fallen asleep under one of the tables and we can't
wake him up.
action: You show Potato to Enforcer
response: Whoa...it's glowing. Is it.. is it.. radioactive?
action: You eat Potato
response: Eating found food at a big convention really doesn't make sense, now does it?
The guards stomach rumbles
action: You ask Enforcer about Galatea
response: Cute doll, but there wasn't much action in the game that inspired her. The guards stomach rumbles
action: Frotz enforcer
response: The enforcer's eyes widen as he starts to glow with a pale blue nimbus of light.
"Wha..what did you do to me? I'm glowing!"
The enforcer runs off, screaming the whole way.
action: You enter
response: Be a little more specific about what you'd like to enter.