Merk
by Jesse McGrew (2011)
Genres: Surreal

"Dear Jim and Kevin, I have a mission for you: find me a 100-year-old typewriter. You'll be rewarded with space riches beyond your wildest dreams! Your new friend, Merk from Pluto"

action: %
response: "Oh, guzzletuff!" exclaims Merk. "Why can't they make these like they used to? This is the fourth keyboard I've broken this week!"

He sweeps the shattered bits of the plastic keyboard into the spacebin and sits down to write a letter.

MEANWHILE, ON EARTH...

This is where you live with your buddy Jim. His stuff adorns every surface of the room. The front door leads out to the north.

On the counter is an envelope (closed).
action: You read envelope
response: Written on the outside, in an awkward, alien hand: "For Jim and Kevin".
action: You open it
response: You open the envelope, revealing a letter.
action: You read the letter
response: It reads:

Dear Jim and Kevin,
I have a mission for you: find me a 100-year-old typewriter. You'll be rewarded with space riches beyond your wildest dreams!
Your new friend,
Merk from Pluto

The door opens, and Jim arrives. "Hey, man! What's crack-a-lackin'?"

He nods toward the opened envelope. "Oh yeah," he says. "I found that outside the door this morning. Anything good? Lemme see!"
action: You give the letter to Jim
response: (first taking the letter)
You hand the letter to Jim. He skims through it and says, "Crazy. Wish I could help you, but I got a big date tonight. Like, stupid big. Have fun!"

He hands you the letter and walks right back out the door.

Well, better get started looking for that typewriter. You dig a phone book out from the pile of stuff.
action: You read the book
response: You flip the phone book open to the Typewriters section. Looks like there's only one typewriter store open today: Braintree Typewriter Services, a couple miles from the Braintree station.
action: You examine the phone book
response: No need to open the phone book again. You remember that you're going to Braintree Typewriter Services, a couple miles from the Braintree station.
action: You look at the stuff
response: What a mess. There's just way too much stuff to even think about listing it.
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying:
a phone book
a letter
a T pass
action: You look at the pass
response: This paper ticket lets you ride the subway and local buses.
action: Describe the surroundings
response: This is where you live with your buddy Jim. His stuff adorns every surface of the room. The front door leads out to the north.

On the counter is an envelope (empty).
action: You read the letter
response: It reads:

Dear Jim and Kevin,
I have a mission for you: find me a 100-year-old typewriter. You'll be rewarded with space riches beyond your wildest dreams!
Your new friend,
Merk from Pluto
action: You go north
response: (first opening the front door)

This is the street in front of your apartment. The front door of your apartment is to the south, and down the block to the west, you can see Broadway Station.
action: You close the door
response: You close the front door.
action: Go west
response: Red signage covering the walls indicates that this is the Broadway station on the Red Line. To the east, you can see the street leading to your apartment.

A turnstile stands between you and the boarding platform.
action: You examine the turnstile
response: It prevents you from getting to the boarding platform unless you insert a ticket.
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying:
a phone book
a letter
a T pass
action: You put the pass in the turnstile
response: You insert the ticket into one slot, remove it from another, and the gate opens.

Track sunk into a dangerous-looking trench runs through the room. The outer part of the station is to the east.
action: You wait
response: Time passes.
action: Go east
response: You might miss the train if you leave.

A voice intones, "Attention passengers: the next Red Line train to Braintree is now approaching."
action: You look around
response: Track sunk into a dangerous-looking trench runs through the room. The outer part of the station is to the east.
action: Sing
response: Your singing is abominable.

A voice intones, "Attention passengers: the next Red Line train to Braintree is now arriving.
action: You jump
response: You jump on the spot, fruitlessly.
action: Wave
response: You wave, feeling foolish.

The train arrives with a gust of wind. Its doors open, and you step on board.

This train car looks clean enough. There are rows of seats on either side. Doors lead out.
action: You sit on the seat
response: You get onto the seat.

The doors close, and the train begins to move. After a few minutes, a voice intones, "Now arriving at Broadway."

The train comes to a stop, and the doors open.
action: You think
response: What a good idea.

The doors close, and the train begins to move. After a few minutes, a voice intones, "Now arriving at Andrew."

The train comes to a stop, and the doors open.
action: Go outside
response: But this isn't your stop.

The doors close, and the train begins to move. After a few minutes, a voice intones, "Now arriving at JFK/UMass."

The train comes to a stop, and the doors open.
action: You read the phone book
response: No need to open the phone book again. You remember that you're going to Braintree Typewriter Services, a couple miles from the Braintree station.

The doors close, and the train begins to move. After a few minutes, a voice intones, "Now arriving at North Quincy."

The train comes to a stop, and the doors open.
action: You check your inventory
response: You are carrying:
a phone book
a letter
a T pass

The doors close, and the train begins to move. After a few minutes, a voice intones, "Now arriving at Wollaston."

The train comes to a stop, and the doors open.
action: You wait
response: Time passes.

The doors close, and the train begins to move. After a few minutes, a voice intones, "Now arriving at Quincy Center."

The train comes to a stop, and the doors open.
action: Sleep
response: You aren't feeling especially drowsy.

The doors close, and the train begins to move. After a few minutes, a voice intones, "Now arriving at Quincy Adams."

The train comes to a stop, and the doors open.
action: You wait
response: Time passes.

The doors close, and the train begins to move. After a few minutes, a voice intones, "Now arriving at Braintree. End of the line."

The train comes to a stop, and the doors open.
action: You go outside
response: You leave the train, find some stairs leading out of the station, and walk outside.

You're at the top of the stairs leading out of Braintree Station. The
action: You exit
response: Pilgrims Highway leads southeast toward the typewriter store.

But you aren't in anything at the moment.
action: Go southeast
response: You hike along the highway for a few miles, finally arriving at the typewriter store.

Typewriters are everywhere, typewriters, typewriters!

A salesman is watching you.
action: Examine salesman
response: He's wearing a cheap suit and reeks of typewriters.
action: You buy the typewriter
response: Nothing is on sale.
action: You examine the typewriters
response: They're everywhere, they, they!
action: You ask the salesman about the typewriter
response: "We have tons of typewriters. Interest you in something specific?"
action: Yes
response: That was a rhetorical question.
action: You show the letter to the salesman
response: The salesman is unimpressed.
action: You ask the salesman about 100-year-old typewriter
response: "As a matter of fact, we just got a 100-year-old typewriter. Come into the back room, I'll show it to you."

You follow him through a previously hidden door into the back room.

Aged wood paneling suggests that this room doesn't get much use.

You can see a table (on which is an old typewriter) here.

The salesman gestures toward the table. "There you are. Go ahead, try it out."

He slips out the door and shuts it behind him, leaving you trapped inside.
action: You look at the typewriter
response: It looks ancient! You can believe this is 100 years old.
action: You type on it
response: You type "lovesong of sherlock holmes" on the old typewriter. Seems to work.

You look around for some sign of where the salesman went, when suddenly a massive vacuum opens up in the middle of the room! Powerless to escape, you're soon sucked through and find yourself in an unfamiliar place.

This small room houses an unmade bed, several textbooks, and a lamp. The exit is to the south.
action: You get the LAMP
response: No, GET LAMP was last year.
action: You make the bed
response: Nothing better to do? OK, you make the bed.
action: You make the bed
response: It's already made.
action: You examine the textbooks
response: The titles include "Robin Alien", "Cave Inheritance", "The Cross of Baby", "CIA Fire", "Living Vic-20", "Hippy's Machine", and "Exhibition Cult". Someone has an interesting class schedule.
action: Look around
response: This small room houses a bed, several textbooks, and a lamp. The exit is to the south.
action: You take the LAMP
response: No, GET LAMP was last year.
action: Go south
response: From beneath a glass dome, you can see the unmistakable surface of Pluto. The Tomb is to the north.

A green alien strolls up to the outside of the dome, waving his tentacles annoyedly.

He speaks to you. "I didn't tell you to get a cursed typewriter! That's no help to me at all, and now look what you've done: the curse has followed you through the vacuum and infested my planet. See these tentacles? I didn't have tentacles when I woke up this morning! Who knows what will happen next?"
action: You ask Alien about the curse
response: There is no reply.

The alien continues. "The only option now is to blow up the planet. Long ago, my space ancestors fitted this planet with a self-destruct mechanism for just such an occasion. Unfortunately, the builder who installed this dome forgot about it. You'll have to activate it from inside."
action: You look at your surroundings
response: From beneath a glass dome, you can see the unmistakable surface of Pluto. The Tomb is to the north.

You can see an alien here.
action: You ask Alien about the curse
response: There is no reply.

An ominous plunger slowly rises out of the ground.

The alien points to it and says, "There. Don't worry about me, just do what needs to be done. Today is a good day to die."
action: You pull the plunger
response: The handle pulls right out! Embarrassed, you drop it back in.