Bears, Bears, Bears
by Admiral Jota (2001)
Genres: Humor
Slice of life


action: %
response: It is almost six o'clock, and you have a date with your beloved for some good old cavorting in the park, hopefully topped off with some newfangeld smoochies. But you are stuck at work! You thought working
at "Sprockets, Rockets, and Pants" would be easy -- and it is! But getting home isn't.

Bears, Bears, Bears
A game which has nothing whatsoever to do with bears.

This is the upstairs lobby of the RSP corporation. It's very different from the downstairs lobby, in that it doesn't have a nice reception desk, comfy chairs, or a shiny chandelier. It does have a vending machine, though. There's a storage closet north of you and a shower room to the south. A really long hallway leads east, to freedom.
action: You examine the machine
response: This vending machine sells tasty bananas, like most vending machines around the world. Unfortunately, it's broken. The back panel has been unlocked so that maintenance can look inside, but they haven't gotten around to fixing it yet.
action: You check what you're carrying
response: You open the back panel.

You are carrying nothing.
action: You look in the machine
response: Hmm. Looks like it's missing a sprocket.
action: About you
response: As good-looking as ever.
action: You go east
response: The hallway stretches on for a nigh-unimaginable distance to the east. Somewhere out there is the elevator which will take you downstairs so you can go find the object of your smoochie-filled desires.

Two monkey men are playing frisbee here, blocking the hallway.

William Shatner is singing quietly in the corner.
action: You take the frisbee
response: Those seem to belong to the monkey men.
action: You examine the men
response: While monkey men traditionally play golf, these two are playing frisbee. As if that weren't bad enough, they're playing with *two* frisbees, so as to ensure that the hallway is obstructed by at least one trademarked flying disk at all times!
action: You look at the frisbee
response: They're frisbees, alright. Trademarked flying disks, just like I said.
action: Sing
response: Your singing is abominable.
action: You look at Shatner
response: William Shatner is standing in the corner, minding his own business. His Priceline commercials have apparently a toll on him: he's wearing
a beret and singing "Fly Me to the Moon", nearly oblivious to the
world around him as he flips a into the air quarter repeated, in time with the song.
action: You get the quarter
response: That seems to belong to the William Shatner.
action: You ask Shatner for the quarter
response: He ignores you, completely engrossed in his music. "Fly me... to the moon, my -- friend..."
action: You look around
response: The hallway stretches on for a nigh-unimaginable distance to the east. Somewhere out there is the elevator which will take you downstairs so you can go find the object of your smoochie-filled desires.

Two monkey men are playing frisbee here, blocking the hallway.

William Shatner is singing quietly in the corner.
action: Go east
response: The monkey men are blocking the hallway with their frisbee game!
action: Go west
response: This is the upstairs lobby of the RSP corporation. It's very different from the downstairs lobby, in that it doesn't have a nice reception desk, comfy chairs, or a shiny chandelier. It does have a vending machine, though. There's a storage closet north of you and a shower room to the south. A really long hallway leads east, to freedom.
action: You go to the north
response: It is a closet which is used to store things. It is in fact, a small storage closet, and from the perspective of the break room, it is to the north. A creative mind could possible even construe that vending machine as a trophy case. But it wasn't really intentional.

You can see a rocket, a sprocket and a pair of pants here.
action: You examine the rocket
response: A big rocket, much like the fireworks typically seen in cartoons like Tom and Jerry or the Coyote and the Roadrunner.
action: You examine the sprocket
response: A small doohickey which is vital to many mechanical devices.
action: You examine the pants
response: Trousers.
action: You get all
response: rocket: Taken.
sprocket: Taken.
pair of pants: Taken.
action: You wear the pants
response: You're already wearing your invisible pants. Don't try to refer to them: they're invisible.
action: You go south
response: This is the upstairs lobby of the RSP corporation. It's very different from the downstairs lobby, in that it doesn't have a nice reception desk, comfy chairs, or a shiny chandelier. It does have a vending machine, though. There's a storage closet north of you and a shower room to the south. A really long hallway leads east, to freedom.
action: You put the sprocket in the panel
response: You expertly attach the sprocket to the appropriate flange, then close the back panel. All fixed!
action: You examine the machine
response: This vending machine sells tasty bananas, like most vending machines around the world. Put a quarter in the slot, and you could have your very own.
action: Inventory
response: You are carrying:
a pair of pants
a rocket
action: You give the rocket to Shatner
response: Shatner stops singing mid-verse, dropping his quarter to the ground.

"Yes! Fly... me, to the moon!" He pulls a match from his pocket,
lights the rocket, and hops on. Seconds later he's blasting down the corridor, singing snatches of "Magic Carpet Ride".
action: You get quarter
response: Taken.
action: Go west
response: This is the upstairs lobby of the RSP corporation. It's very different from the downstairs lobby, in that it doesn't have a nice reception desk, comfy chairs, or a shiny chandelier. It does have a vending machine, though. There's a storage closet north of you and a shower room to the south. A really long hallway leads east, to freedom.
action: You put quarter in the machine
response: You put the quarter in the slot, and a banana pops out! Magic!
action: You examine the banana
response: Mmm, banana!
action: You go east
response: The hallway stretches on for a nigh-unimaginable distance to the east. Somewhere out there is the elevator which will take you downstairs so you can go find the object of your smoochie-filled desires.

Two monkey men are playing frisbee here, blocking the hallway.
action: You give the banana to the men
response: The monkey men drop their frisbees and start fighting over their banana. They eventually agree to settle the matter with a formal duel, and leave to make the arrangements.
action: You go east
response: You trudge down the hallway for a few minutes, but realize that
there's no way you could reach the other end on foot. Sadly you
return.
action: You check your inventory
response: You are carrying:
a pair of pants
action: Go south
response: This room is for the convenience of the employees who work with sprockets and tend to end up covered in machine oil, or who work with rockets and end up covered in soot, or who work with pants. It has
many shower heads, for the purpose of showering.

There's a nude woman here! Hiding behind a pony! So you can't actually see anything! But you know she's naked! Because I just told you so!

"Eeeek!" she screams. "Stay away! Someone stole all my clothes when I came in here to take a shower. I said, 'Stay away!'"
action: You examine the pony
response: It's kinda like a small horse.
action: You give the pants to the woman
response: The woman gratefully takes the pants and dresses herself, while still hiding behind the pony.

"Thank you," she says, "But could you find me a shirt, too?"
action: No
response: She cowers behind the pony. "Stay back! I'm naked! Don't come any closer!"
action: You look at the shower heads
response: Yes, they look perfectly functional. Of course, you're clean, and
don't need to use them.
action: You examine woman
response: A topless woman, standing behind a pony. She looks just like every other topless woman standing behind a pony you've ever seen before. Except cuter.

The woman turns red when she realizes that you're ogling her. "Could you please bring me some more clothes?"
action: Look around
response: This room is for the convenience of the employees who work with sprockets and tend to end up covered in machine oil, or who work with rockets and end up covered in soot, or who work with pants. It has
many shower heads, for the purpose of showering.

There's a nude woman here! Hiding behind a pony! So you can't actually see anything! But you know she's naked! Because I just told you so!

"Eeeek!" she screams. "Oh, it's you. Could you find me some clothes?" As an afterthought she adds, "Stay away!"
action: Go north
response: This is the upstairs lobby of the RSP corporation. It's very different from the downstairs lobby, in that it doesn't have a nice reception desk, comfy chairs, or a shiny chandelier. It does have a vending machine, though. There's a storage closet north of you and a shower room to the south. A really long hallway leads east, to freedom.
action: You go north
response: It is a closet which is used to store things. It is in fact, a small storage closet, and from the perspective of the break room, it is to the north. A creative mind could possible even construe that vending machine as a trophy case. But it wasn't really intentional.
action: Go east
response: The hallway stretches on for a nigh-unimaginable distance to the east. Somewhere out there is the elevator which will take you downstairs so you can go find the object of your smoochie-filled desires.

You can see some pair of frisbees here.
action: You get the frisbees
response: Taken.
action: You give the frisbees to the woman
response: The woman gratefully takes the frisbees and tries to cover up her breasts with them as well as possible.

"Thank you. You cannot imagine my gratitude." She turns bright red and runs out of the shower room, leaving her pony behind.
action: Ride pony
response: Mounted.
action: You go to the east
response: The hallway stretches on for a nigh-unimaginable distance to the east. Somewhere out there is the elevator which will take you downstairs so you can go find the object of your smoochie-filled desires.
action: Go east
response: You ride triumphant down the hallway, to the cheers and acclaim of
your co-workers! Hail, the conquering hero! And if you think this is great, you should see the smoochies. Mmmhmm! Baybee!