Genre: Other

Meet Orchid du Bois I first met Hayley Mowday (above) a few years ago when she was working for cosmetic giant Estee Lauder. Our paths crossed again a year ago when Hayley launched her own online business dedicated to the "art of seduction". After working as a full time mum for five years, 37-year-old Hayley decided to open New Zealand's first online seduction boutique offering a selection of tasteful sensual products. Hayley says Orchid was born from her desire to bring seduction to all women and encourage confidence and connection in the boudoir. Because my inner seductress has been MIA for a number of years I thought it was time to catch up with Hayley to see if she could help me find my own inner temptress. What did you do before you set up Orchid? I was fortunate to be a full-time Mum for 5 years pre Orchid which was a vast change from my career in the cosmetic industry. I worked both here and in London for Estee Lauder Companies. My last role with the company was Marketing Director for Jo Malone UK which was one of my career highlights. Why did you set up Orchid? As a newly single woman I wanted tips and techniques for seduction and beautiful pleasure objects but found the current market place daunting and geared primarily towards men and sex. The idea of sophisticated products or seduction tools was sorely lacking. I was looking for beautiful lingerie and designer sex toys and what I found was red lace crotch-less panties and scary looking toys. I wanted a nice environment to shop in and beautiful packaging. I guess what I wanted was the same level of beautiful design I'd come to expect from our very own fashion designers -- but within the sex industry. The more I talked to friends (both men and women) the more I realised I wasn't the only one who felt like this. With all this in mind I set about sourcing a select range of sophisticated collections with the aim to bring seduction to all men and women and encourage confidence and connection in the boudoir. Online you refer to yourself as Orchid du Bois -- can you tell me a little bit about her -- is she your alter-ego? Yes, Orchid du Bois is my alter-ego. She is my sexy side. She is confident and playful, frivolous and passionate. Seduction is always on her mind, she is an old school seductress. She is the side of me I turn to on the days I am that tired Mum. I often encourage women to have their own alter-ego. Many women feel more comfortable acting as someone different if they are seducing their partner or trying something new. Even something as simple as a lace mask can change a woman's persona in the boudoir. Is there any negative stigma attached to what you do and if yes how do you deal with it? I did wonder when I first set up Orchid what I would say if someone had something negative to say and I'm yet to have that conversation. If anything I have been surprised by the lack of negativity and more often than not from those that I expected it from. Many people see my sign written car and assume I am a florist but when they ask they are always intrigued -- it's a great conversation starter! It's fair to say that telling your parents you are creating a seduction boutique and selling pleasure objects is not the easiest conversation. Despite the awkward initial talk my wonderful parents have been nothing but supportive and once they understood the concept for the brand and the quality of products we sourced they very proudly tell people what I do for a job. Above: Hayley hosting a Seduction Party. What has been the best thing that has happened to you since setting up Orchid? The feedback. I love nothing more than hearing from women at our seduction parties how much they love our collections and how needed Orchid has been. Better still is their feedback on how they have become more confident and playful in the boudoir. I think as a marketer (and essentially the proud owner of a new baby) there is nothing better than knowing you've hit the nail on the head. Do you think New Zealand women shy away from the subject of sex? Prior to starting Orchid I would have said yes but actually I think once given the forum New Zealand women are very intrigued and curious about sex and very open to the discussion. I think we like to know we are 'normal' and in particular I think we like to know what everyone else is doing (or not doing). We love a bit of naughty and from my experience I think we are open to new things. I don't think we talk about it openly like other European cultures because we tend to be more reserved as a nation, but I think we want to. How important do you think seduction is when it comes to sex and romance? It's crucial, and unfortunately it's so often forgotten. I have yet to meet a man or woman who does not enjoy being seduced. It's the quickest way to make your partner feel desired and that's pretty powerful. Do you think women have lost the art of seduction? Absolutely. I think for various reasons we have become lazy in the bedroom, expecting our partners to seduce us or instigate sex. I think life often gets in the way of us enjoying the act of seduction and instead we fall into the habit of obligation. Many women tell me they feel self conscious attempting to be the seducer. I am a firm believer that seductresses are not born but come from having the confidence to try something new. That means baby steps and trying things not too far outside your comfort zone. There are a whole lot of women out there who are too tired for sex let alone spicing it up with any fancy gadgets -- what do you say to those women? There is nothing more energizing than an orgasm (which by the way 60-80% of us don't achieve without clitoral stimulation so those fancy gadgets come in handy). It really comes down to priorities. You need to put aside the time for each other, even if it means cancelling something else because life is so busy. Mums often tell me how tired they are just keeping the kids happy and as a Mum I totally understand that, but your relationship as a passionate couple is debatably as important as your role as a Mother and the investment in time will pay dividends in your relationship. Monotony is a passion killer so bringing something new to the boudoir such as a pleasure object or seduction tool will re-kindle your love life and actually make you want to make more time for it. Take turns at bringing something new to try and eventually make your own adults pleasure box -- it's a great way of discovering your partner's real desires. What about women who think that it should be the men doing the seducing? Men often tell me that there is nothing sexier than their partner seducing them or bringing something new to the boudoir. The benefits of being the seducer is that you take the lead and often this is a great way to show your partner what you want or how you want it done. Win win I say. Do you personally have a favourite product that you sell? The YesForLov Massage Candle is heavenly. Not only does the warm liquid create a spine tingling sensation when it is poured straight from the candle but you are guaranteed a sensual massage and fabulous smelling sheets. Divine. Have you always enjoyed sex/seduction/toys etc or were you a late bloomer? I have always enjoyed sex and seduction but was possibly more of a late bloomer with toys and seduction tools. I think often that is the case as women reach their sexual peak later and we begin to experiment with new ways of deriving pleasure or we are in long-term relationships and want to rekindle or bring new excitement to the relationship. Above: Hayley hosting a Seduction Party. Because you come from a beauty background what beauty product would you be lost without? Ooohhh just one...if I could have nothing else I would choose Estee Lauders Advanced Night Repair, magic in a bottle.