Genre: Opinion/Argumentation

[ Back to list of True Stories ] [ Printable Verison ] New True Story - Andy's Story ( Coverage : UK Wide ) My parents just did n't want me . I 've always been a vulnerable sort of person . Easily led . Even as a young child I was sensitive , quiet , kept myself to myself . I gradually realised that I was gay at around 14 . I 'm living in a Probation & Bail Hostel now while I am on licence . I was on an electronic tag for three months when I first came out . I 've got eight convictions in total for 24 offences . I 've been in prison for most of the last four years . I 'm 32 now . My last conviction was for arson , others have ranged from fraud & deception to driving whilst disqualified . Alcohol is a problem for me . When I was five years old I went to live with my grandparents . They had more time for me . Felt sorry for me I suppose . I much preferred living with them than my parents . I was jealous of my two younger sisters , who I thought got more attention than me . They turned out fine . One is even a police officer . They are both married with children . The last sentence I got was in 2001 when I was charged with arson , being reckless through drinking alcohol . I was on remand for nine months and had two psychiatric reports . I pleaded guilty to it and got sentenced in 2002 to three years and nine months . My first crime was in 1989 ; I stole a railway pass from my granddad so I could explore the country . I got caught and arrested . The courts gave me a fine . I was 18 . My granddad died two years later and I have never stopped feeling terrible for what I did to him . I see this as the point when it all started to go downhill . I came out as gay when I was 16 . I never told my dad until I was 21 though . He just could n't get used to it and for ages he said it was just a phase I was going through . I do feel that being gay has made things worse for me . I have n't felt accepted by people . Just another reason to be picked out as different . It was very bad being gay in prison – probably my lowest point . At first I thought getting into trouble with the police and going to court was a big joke . I got cautions , fines and probation . I was scared of going to prison though . I got into the habit of never listening to anyone who tried to help me . I always thought I could beat the system . But I always ended up getting caught for what I 'd done . I 'm paying the price for what I 've done now . School was okay . I went on to college and got a professional catering qualification . I stopped doing crime when I was working . Then I went into the Army Careering Corps for nearly five years . I really enjoyed it . I had a steady relationship for nearly five years . We were both in our twenties . When I left the Army things got bad . I ended up back in crime . I had nowhere to live and ended up in a Salvation Army hostel . Eventually I moved back to my home area and got a steady job where I stayed for five years . I kept on drinking though and lost my driving licence . Eventually I got sent to prison for five months for driving without a licence . So I lost my job . I 'd thought that going to prison would change me forever . But it did n't – I ended up angrier . So angry with some people . In 2000 I was arrested on suspicion of arson , which I was later found not guilty of . At one time I did n't go to court when I should have because I was scared to face anything . I 've wasted four years of my life in prison . I could have done a lot better for myself . What changed me ? That last stretch in prison was the worst time for me . At one point I even wanted to end my life . The prison service told me to attend groups ( where a group of prisoners meet to discuss issues in their lives ) . These really helped me . The Enhanced Thinking Skills ( ETS ) I did with the probation service really helped me too . It helped me address my drinking problem . It taught me to think about what I do before I do it . If you stop and think first – then this can change your life . I can honestly say that the ETS has turned my life around . It used the seven steps strategy – looking at alternative choices and considering moral dilemmas . It helps you put yourself in other people's positions and see their views . Being on licence and living at the hostel has given me some support . I have to be answerable to the staff about where I am and what I 'm doing . If I break my licence then I will go back to prison – and I do n't want to go there again . Since I 've been at the hostel I 've been attending alcohol counselling which has included acupuncture . This has helped me . My first time in prison was for drinking while disqualified . I started drinking when I was younger , always thinking I could take more than I could . I went over the top and acted daft with it . My key worker has been there for me when I have had problems . I have n't been alone . My probation officer supports me trying to settle back into the community again . I am waiting for a flat – this is a major goal that I have set for myself . I have found a new person in my life and made new friends . To people I have hurt : I want to say that I have made mistakes in my life . And I am paying the price for it . I am so sorry for what I have done in the past to those people who trusted me . I am trying to get that trust back again .