Genre: Instruction

Help Me Please ! Question : Hello . I think I am depressed . I feel like there is no point in my life anymore . I want out . I cry myself to sleep because I 'm scared and I hate the world I live in . I am sick and tired of my crappy life .... I am depressed . Can you give me some tips not to be depressed ? Please help me and email me back . Janet ( 13 year-old girl ) Answer : Janet my dear , I almost did n't choose your question , because you gave so little information about yourself . But then I looked at your age , and I thought , ' How brave of her , how strong she must be to defy her Depression , and find a way of asking for help ! ' So , I had to try and do something for you . Janet , I know nothing about your family , where you live , how you were treated as a little child , what pressures there are on you . I am just guessing that your life is no worse than that of millions of other teenagers . So , what I write may not fit , but chances are it will . Depression is sort of a monster . It sits inside your head and whispers things to you . It 's been with you since you were little , so it can exactly imitate your thoughts . When Depression speaks , it feels like the thoughts were your own . I know , because I 've been myself where you are now . I spent YEARS of my life being miserable , simply because I did n't know that help was possible . In fact , you are ahead of me : you know that someone , somewhere , can help you . I did n't even seek help , because I thought that no-one could have done anything anyway . So I just suffered . And because I suffered , I became a better person . I am a psychologist and help people like you , because I have been terribly depressed myself . You can choose to do something similar . Start now to steer your life towards being someone who can help others to fight their problems . That will give you an aim in life , a purpose , a reason for living . How did I fight my Depression ? All by my lonely self , I invented a method that I later found to be very similar to something called Cognitive Therapy . Scientists have studied the way Depression affects people , and have developed this method -- and I had done the same for myself . And all this time , I believed myself to be stupid and useless , because that 's what my Depression had said to me , and I simply accepted it as true . Janet , when it is Depression speaking instead of you , the words and pictures going through your head will be different from when the thoughts are yours . They will be absolutes : ' I can NEVER do anything right . ' Of course you can , sometimes , and muck things up at other times . You did something right in posting this question . There are MILLIONS of kids out there who are suffering like you , but , like me , they do n't even consider asking for help . So , you are smarter than I was at your age , smarter than all those other poor kids . ' No-one loves me . ' ( or something similar like ' I have no friends at all . ' ) Janet , every time a thought involves ' always ' , ' never ' ' everyone ' , ' no-one ' and so on , it is GUARANTEED to be wrong . The world does not work like that . There are exceptions to everything . I am ABSOLUTELY SURE that there are people in your life who do love you , who feel friendly towards you , who would like to be nice to you . I ca n't find them , but you can . Look around your life now , and think back to the past . You will find them . They will say bad things about you : My worst one was ' I am an idiot ' and versions of it like ' I can NEVER do anything right ' . It may be ' I am SO ugly ! ' or whatever . Any thought that you are much worse than other people belongs here . Janet , I have never met you , but I KNOW that you have good points as well as bad . People given to depression have a double standard . It 's OK for other people to make mistakes , but if I do , that 's intolerable and I must beat myself over the head about it . Another girl is allowed to have a few pimples , and still be attractive , but if I do , it proves that no-one could love me . And so on . They will paint the world in very dark colors : ' This is TERRIBLE . ' ' Everything is so hateful . ' Whenever something bad happens in your world or shown on the news , Depression zeroes in on it and uses it as proof that the world is a terrible place . But when something good happens , when there is joy and beauty and laughter and people being kind to one another , Depression puts blinkers over your eyes so you probably wo n't even notice it . If you do notice it , Depression will tell you it 's just an oddity , or that it 's OK for others but does n't apply to you , or that others have the luck not you . And if despite all this you manage to have a good experience , Depression will make you forget it very soon . The worst is that Depression tells you that things can never get better . This is the worst of Depression's lies . It is the one that drives so many sufferers to suicide , it was the lie that stopped me from seeking help . Janet , you can beat this monster the way I did . Only , you can seek help . I do n't even know what country you live in . I do n't know how much ( or how little ) money your parents have . But somewhere near you , there will be a psychologist or social worker or school counselor who is trained in using Cognitive Therapy . You have already taken the first courageous step in defeating your depression : posting this cry for help . Now take the second : organize therapy with that person . If you ca n't , you and I might be able to work together to defeat your depression . We can use email . Only , first we need permission from your parents , and they will need to pay me a little bit of money for each ' session ' . But working with a helper face to face will be better for you at this stage . Have a good life , Bob This question was answered by Dr. Bob Rich . Dr. Rich has 31 years experience as a psychologist and is registered with the Australian Psychological Society . He practices in Australia . Dr. Rich is also a writer and a " mudsmith " . Bob is now retired from psychological practice , but still works with people as a counsellor .