Genre: Opinion/Argumentation

[ Back to list of True Stories ] [ Printable Verison ] New True Story - Darren's Story ( Coverage : UK Wide ) I was addicted to motorbikes from when I was 14 years old . I 'd pinch a bike , spray it , and go scrambling on the fields . I did sports at school then , so I could run away really fast . I did n't get caught . But I could n't run anywhere a few years later , when the heroin had got me . By then I was pinching cars just to pay for my drugs . The people selling only got greedier and could squeeze me . So I had to keep stealing more and more . I 've got about 20 convictions – all for theft of , or from , motor vehicles . If I nicked a car with a baby seat , that would make me think about what I was doing . But I had to think about number one because if not then I would n't get my heroin . It 's horrible I know , looking back . But at the time , I just had to get it . I was 14 years old when I first took amphetamines . It was easy to get on our estate . A gang of about 20 kids hung round together . Some grown-ups gave us drugs for free . I only took speed then . Cannabis gave me a fuzzy head . It seemed to me that all the kids took speed . At school I was always picked for sports teams . The teacher said if I carried on I 'd be a true athlete . But I messed it up . Tragedy struck my family when my sister Carrie was killed suddenly in a road accident . Later my mum and dad split up . I felt the address we lived at was unlucky for everyone . I injected the very first time I started on heroin . The first time I was rattling [ in withdrawal ] I did n't know what it was . I was bad , I did n't want to believe it was happening to me . It 's ten times worse than the ' flu . I 'd only been taking heroin for two weeks . Some people can take it for months before it becomes a habit . Heroin feels very good when you start taking it – it 's like you 're invincible . But when it gets you , then soon you have nothing left . I 'm 26 years old now . I 've got two kids at primary school that I have n't been able to offer anything much to , or to their mum – we were childhood sweethearts . I 've known her since I was 12 years old . I 've just given them a load of grief . I 've been in and out of prison . Down to Exeter and up to Liverpool – and all the ones in between . Some you can get drugs in , others you ca n't . I 've had sentences lasting a couple of years and some just a couple of months . But I feel I 've never really had any help to get off heroin . Maybe I was n't ready – but looking back sometimes I think I was . I did get some help in prison . But I could never manage to stay clean on discharge . I 'd start again more or less the next day . People offered it for free , so I 'd get hooked and would have to start pinching cars again . I 'd do cold turkey in prison . Because I was in and out of prison , I was on and off heroin . When I started taking crack cocaine , I 'd need heroin to bring me down . I was a mess . And I ca n't get my young life back now – it 's wasted . I began thinking that I 'd be better off living in prison full time . It was a better life than outside . Once I 'd got clean of heroin in prison then my sense of humour would come back and I 'd start enjoying myself and getting on with the other people . I was mixing and felt more supported in prison . The only thing that bothered me about going into prison was the thought of the withdrawal . Other than that , prison did n't scare me , I wanted it . Last year I was sent to prison five times . I was just sick of hearing the prison officers say ' see you soon ... ' I 'd heard of the DTTO ( Drug Treatment and Testing Order ) scheme from other prisoners . They 'd said it was strict . So when I was on remand I told my Probation Officer in the prison I was sick of it all , and they put me in for a DTTO . I could have walked free from court that time , as I 'd done my time on remand . Maybe that 's the difference , I made the choice about this order . Although I was back on the heroin as soon as I left prison again , after a few weeks I was put on a methadone script . I tested positive for crack and opiates for a while . Then the tests showed that I 'd kicked the crack – it took me a couple of months , it was hard but I managed . That feels like an achievement . I still had to steal to buy my stuff for a while . Where I was living was n't helping me , I could get drugs too easily . But when I 'd come out of prison , I was on the streets , so I took what accommodation I could . A housing charity worker helped me apply to get a flat . I could n't believe it when I got somewhere decent to live . I could never even keep an appointment and now I was doing things for myself . Everyone who comes to my flat says it 's gorgeous . I got it together . My mum helped me get sorted . We looked in the paper and got things second hand . I 've got a lounge , kitchen , bedroom , bathroom and there 's a hall – so it feels spacious . I 'm paying the bills okay . Mum's doing what mums do – always thinking about me , buying me food . If it was n't for my mum I would n't be alive now , it 'd all have finished me . I love her to bits . As I reduced my heroin , I did n't have to steal , and could manage to pay out about £ 10 a week for what I needed . I 'm clean of it now . On the DTTO you have to come in every day and see people . So I 've got something to focus on . I 'm mixing with different people , who are trying to make a go of things too . My biggest support have been my family who have always said that they stuck with me because they knew what I was really like , off the heroin . I need to get my life sorted out before I become involved with the children again . It 's not good for them to be messed about with their dad coming in and out , in and out , of their little lives . I have to offer more stability . When I went back to court last time for the review I got told that my attendance on the DTTO was ' magnificent ' The staff here talk to me , I get praise and also compliments . I feel listened to and I listen to others too . I 'm having adult relationships with the staff , because of who they are and also because I 'm changing . People are n't giving up on me – I 've stuck it out and come every day . I 'm going to complete this order if it kills me ! We do loads of different things like independent living skills . I 've made a real spaghetti bolognaise and lasagne . I 've done baking and made oatcakes and baked potatoes with tuna mayonnaise . We 've done positive thinking groups and setting goals . The staff say I make good contributions . My thinking style has changed . I just got burgled and although I had a brief relapse I 'm back giving negative tests . I 'm trying to deal with it as an adult now . And anyway , I 've stolen enough times from other people , so what 's gone round has come round . So I 'm the victim now . We 've done team exercises at an outdoor pursuits centre – which was great . I 've really enjoyed doing an arts project with the local college . We went to college and did a health and safety exam , we all passed and got certificates . I even go out at weekends again . It feels good to have a social life again . I am thinking about the future and work . With my knowledge of cars I could maybe be a mechanic . Although I do n't know why , I 've always wanted to be a milkman .