Genre: Opinion/Argumentation

Obama to announce that there was no war in Afghanistan In an advance copy of tonight's TV speech about Afghanistan, Tom has learned that Commander-In-Disbelief and Constitutional Lawyer extraordinaire Barack Obama will announce that there will be no need to withdraw troops from Afghanistan because in 10 years there has not been a war in Afghanistan. The clear-cut facts on the ground are that there has never been hostilities in Afghanistan. What we had was friendly banter or aggressive bullying between the Taliban and US troops. There are no "boots on the ground" as the Pentagon has retroactively renamed boots military walking/toner shoes. Moammar Gadhafi, military fashionista, has endorsed the Obama principle as consistent with the Libyan findings. Slick Willie Clinton said "Man. this guy is good" 3 Responses to Obama to announce that there was no war in Afghanistan And here, I thought it was an environmental campaign. Didn't we go to Afghanistan so we wouldn't tear up the California desert with our tanks and bombs? Besides, military vehicles are notorious fuel hogs, so better to have them near their sources of fuel, no? And military weaponry DOES have expiration dates, and need to be replaced, so where better to get rid of old explosives than a country that already LOOKS like it was bombed to the Stone Age before we arrived? Then there is the obvious option of wanting a base on the border of your TRUE enemy. Imagine how boring it would have been, had the SEALs been forced to fly into Pakistan from, say, Saudi Arabia? Keeps the commute short! Oh, my friend, if only I could take credit for such cunning. Blame WordPress -- if they'd keep their formats the same for more than 2 days in a row, I could settle on SOMETHING! Besides, this way, every time I comment, you get to see a dashing, handsome, debonair young gent! And the idiot in the hat is me, by the by.