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The words we use every day shape our realities, whether we realize it or not. Our word choices can make a powerful impression on the people around us, whether they occur in a polite conversation at the grocery store or during a more formal exchange at a significant client meeting.
无论我们是否注意到,我们每天使用的词汇都在塑造着我们的现实生活。我们选择的用词可以在人群中创造出强有力的印象,不管发生的地点是杂货店里的礼貌闲聊还是与重要客户的正式面谈。
Different situations and different companions demand different levels of vocabulary and tone, but there are some words that hold power, no matter what the situation.
面对不同的情况还有交谈对象,应使用不同级别的词汇和语气,但是有一些表达不论是在什么情况下,都是很有力量的。
So, next time you’re pressing for something you want -- whether it's a salary increase or the last pineapple in the produce section -- here are 10 words that can help you get it:
所以,下一次当你迫切想要得到自己想要的东西时——无论是加薪,还是生产线上的最后一个菠萝——这边的十个词汇可以帮助你得到它:
1. 'Because'
“因为”
“Because” is the conduit you will use to explain your motivations for every element of your request. In his book Influence, Robert Cialdini describes this as a “request + reason” and proves that this combination significantly increases the likelihood that your request will be obliged.
“因为”是你用来解释你所有需求动机的渠道。在罗伯特 西奥迪尼的书《影响力》中,他将这个描述为“请求+原因”并且证明了这种组合可以极大地提高要求被满足的可能性。。
In one case study that I read in college (but, sadly, couldn’t find to link to here), one experiment had people ask if they could cut in line. The study found that people were far more likely to allow others to cut in line when the word "because" was used, as opposed to when it was not used (i.e., “May I cut in line?” vs. “May I cut in line, because I’m very late for an appointment?”). This was true even if the reason given was ridiculous (e.g., “May I please cut in line because I need to get to the front sooner?”). The word "because" seemed to trigger something in people that caused them to oblige the request.
我在大学念书时读到过一个案例(可惜的是,案例链接找不到了),在一个实验中人们被问到插队的事情。这个研究发现,插队的时候使用“因为”,更容易插队成功(例如,“我可以插队吗?”对比“我可以插队吗?因为我约会快迟到了~”)。即使给出的理由非常荒唐时,也同样适用(例如,“我可以插队吗?因为我想要快一点儿~”)。“因为”这个词就像是触发了人们内心满足要求的一个按钮。
2. 'Thanks'
"谢谢“
A simple thanks is an expression of immediate gratitude, and if you start your conversation with it, you’ll start everything off on a good note. You’ll show that you’re appreciative, which will make people more interested and willing to help you out. Something like “thanks for your time” at the beginning of a meeting (or at the end) is all it takes to establish that positive tone.
一个简单的谢谢可以表达出即时的感激,如果在聊天前带着这个,你将让每件事都有一个好的开头。你展现你的感激之意后,这将会让人们对你更感兴趣也会更愿意帮助你。一些类似“感谢您的宝贵时间”的话无论是在会议开始前(或者在结束后)使用都可以建立正面积极的氛围。
3. 'You'
“您”
When extending requests, too many people make it all about themselves. They'll say things like, “I want this because I need it,” explaining their personal motivations or the logical reasons why they want it. Instead, try framing the conversation in the perspective of the person you’re talking to.How will your request affect them? For example, something like “I think you’ll see a rise in sales if you implement this,” makes your listener the center of the conversation, which makes for a more positive engagement.
当表达需求的时候,许多人都会围绕着自己来表达。他们都会这么说,“我想要这个是因为我需要,”这些都是他们的个人动机或者为什么他们想要这么做的正当理由。同样的,尝试站在对方的角度来组织对话。这会起到什么样的效果呢?例如,“我想如果你采用这个方法的话,你的销售额肯定会上涨!”。让你的听众成为这个话题的中心人物,将会使你和听者之间更加紧密。
4. 'If'
“如果”
“If” holds a ton of power because it gives you the opportunity to break a situation down to its most basic terms by exploring hypothetical outcomes. As long as you’ve done your research (or at least some brainstorming), you’ll come out in a good position. For example, consider: “If we go with option A, we’ll see increases in both cost and productivity, and if we go with option B, everything will remain the same.”
“如果”拥有大量的能量,是因为它给了你通过假设的结果把目前的状况打回到最原始的状态的机会。。只要你做过相关的研究(或者一些头脑风暴),你就能获得优势。例如,思考:“如果我们尝试选项A,我们将可以提高所有的成本和生产力,而如果我们尝试选项B,所有的事情都会保持原样。”
5. 'Could'
“可以”
Using the word “could” implies openness, unlike the word “won’t” or “never.” This keeps the conversation positive, and further allows you to explore your hypothetical future outcomes, which is especially handy when your conversational partner has a counterargument or request for you. For example, “I could take on the extra work, but I’d prefer it if I had more flexibility on the deadline.”
使用“可以”这个词意味着无限的可能,而不像那些“将不”或者“从不”的词那样。这样可以保持谈话积极,还允许你摸索假设的结果,也是说明当你的聊天对象有不同观点或者对你有要求时,这是比较容易做到的。例如,“我可以做更多的工作,但是如果我的时间不受限的话就更好了。”
6. 'We'
“我们”
Like the word “you,” “we” takes some of the focus off your own self-interest. As a first-line effect, this makes you seem less ego-centric and more welcoming. As a second-line effect, it implies that the two of you are a single unit, and that any positive benefit for you will be a positive benefit for them.
和“你”一样,“我们”将更多的焦点落在自我利益之外。最主要的,这个会让你看起来不会那么以自我为中心还有更受欢迎。其次,它意味着你们俩是一个单独的联合,我好你也好。
7. 'Together'
“一起”
“Together” works much the same way that “we” does. It implies a degree of familiarity and cooperation, providing a kind of conversational lubricant to make your requests easier to swallow. Anything you can do to make your request (and hypothetical future) seem like a mutual opportunity is going to help you here.
“一起”这个词的功能和“我们”很像。这是意味着一定程度上的亲密和合作,提供了一种交谈的润滑剂来让你的请求更容易被接纳。让你的请求(和假设性的结果)变成双方的机遇,可使其更容易被接受。
8. 'Fact'
“事实”
The word “fact” can help you out significantly in your attempts at persuasion. There’s only one caveat -- the facts you claim have to be actual facts, supportable with empirical evidence or research of some kind. Still, using more facts in your dialogue will help you strengthen your position, and secure a more persuasive angle for your discussion.
“事实”这个词可以很好地帮助你说服别人。有个提醒--你宣称的这个事实必须成为真相,辅之以实证或某类型的研究。尽管如此,使用更多的事实在你的言语中会帮你加强你的位置,还有让你的讨论处于一个更有说服力的角度。
9. 'Open'
“开放的态度”
During the conversation, you won’t agree with everything the other person tells you, and you won’t comply with every request. But shutting these requests down with a “no” or a “never” is negative and counterproductive. Instead, state that you’re “open” to the idea, but further negotiation will be required before you fully agree.
在谈话中,你不会同意别人告诉你的所有信息,还有你不会想要答应所有的请求。但是拒绝这些请求只用一个“不”或者一个”从不“是消极且达不到预期效果的。相反的,表明你是“开放的态度”但是想要完全同意的话需要进一步的协商。
10. 'Will'
“将”
“Will” is the word we use to switch to future tense, and it’s a powerful word because it implies what happens after the conversation is over with a degree of certainty. Stating that you “will” do something as a direct action provides a clear vision and mitigates the possibility of miscommunication.
我们用“将”来转换成将来时态,,还有这是一个强有力的词,因为它意味着在商谈后会发生的必然情况。表明你“将”做某事作为一个直接的行为来提供一个清晰的视角和降低错误传达的可能性。
These ten words aren't magical, nor do they affect listeners at the level of mind control. But, used in the proper context, they can help you open the door to a meaningful and mutual negotiation.
这十个词并不是魔法,也不能用它们来控制听众。但是,在适当的地方用它们,可以帮你进行有意义并且互惠的协商。
You’ll come across as more open, intelligent and persuasive, which means you’ll have an edge when you make your request.
你将会变得心境更开放,更有智慧以及更有说服力,这也意味着在表达个人诉求的时候更有优势。