非诚勿扰 篇一:幽默的数学老师 幽默的数学老师 我的数学老师戴着一副眼镜,从眼镜里面透过的目光非常严厉。起初我见到他时,心想这学期可要遭殃了,摊上这么一个凶的老师还免的了吃皮肉之苦。刚上数学课的时候,神经绷得紧紧的,生怕有一丝的闪失,那时就有可能吃上“竹笋炒肉”啦。 可是几天下来,我发觉吴老师虽然严厉,可上他的课非常轻松。你听吴老师在讲应用题的时候,他就用红军和敌人打比喻,红军先摸清敌人的地形,找出突破口,那就可以一举把敌人拿下。经过老师这么一讲,同学们可来劲了,解起题目来得心应手。喏!吴老师讲角的时候更幽默了。他说,周角就是皇帝,掌管着整个江山,而平角的权利就小了,他只掌管半壁江山。这样一节课下来,同学们还是意犹未尽,还沉浸在故事数学课里呢! 自习课的时候,有的同学东张西望,看到老师忙装模作样的做作业。吴老师搞笑地对他们说:“嘿!你们这些人,是想当特务吗?想监视老师吗?你以为特务这么好当啊!”那几个同学红着脸低着头,没准儿还在想:“老师真是火眼金睛,下回还是少犯点错误。” 这就是我们幽默的数学老师! 这篇写人的文章紧扣题目《幽默的数学老师》展开叙述,用幽默风趣的语言描写了上数学课的情形。文章充满童真童趣,欢声笑语不绝于耳,语言流畅,用词准确生动,是篇值得一读的佳作。 篇二:有趣的数学老师_写人作文 有趣的数学老师_写人作文 有趣的数学老师 他,高高的个子,长着一张瓜子脸,浓眉大眼,看上去凶巴巴的,其实有他的课堂特别风趣幽默。在他的课堂上,你总会听到我们的笑声。上课的时候他经常跑题,上着上着就说到课堂外面去了。有一次,我们在学习新课,他叫刘芳茹起来读框里的一段文字,刘芳茹在读的时候,一不小心读错了个字,他就给我们讲了个笑话:在一个医院里有一位医生,他拿着一个病人 的病历表,看了好长时间,结果叫了声下一个木棍!原来是因为那个人签名的时候,有点草了,他本来应该叫林昆的,结果他把林的那两个木给分开了,变成了木棍,我们听完后都前仰后合地笑起来。还有一次,他在讲一道计算集装箱的题时,又跑题了,他告诉我们,如果看到像集装箱之类的大车时,一定要离它远点,因为这些大车的后轱轮,不会拐弯,他们只有使劲拐,才能拐过来,在拐的过程中,它不能超过黄线,所以在拐的时候后轱轮很靠着道边,如果你在这里的话,很有可能会被压着。这样在他的跑题中,我们不仅是开怀大笑,还学到了知识。每天我们都期待上他的课,在我们眼里他不再是凶巴巴的了,而是非常幽默的周立波。怎么样?你猜到了他是谁了吗? 篇三:幽默的数学老师1 幽默的数学老师 阳谷七级明德小学高然 我的数学老师戴着一副眼镜,从眼镜里面透过的目光非常严厉。起初我见到他时,心想这学期可要遭殃了,摊上这么一个凶的老师还免的了吃皮肉之苦。刚上数学课的时候,神经绷得紧紧的,生怕有一丝的闪失,那时就有可能吃上“竹笋炒肉”啦。 可是几天下来,我发觉吴老师虽然严厉,可上他的课非常轻松。你听吴老师在讲应用题的时候,他就用红军和敌人打比喻,红军先摸清敌人的地形,找出突破口,那就可以一举把敌人拿下。经过老师这么一讲,同学们可来劲了,解起题目来得心应手。喏!吴老师讲角的时候更幽默了。他说,周角就是皇帝,掌管着整个江山,而平角的权利就小了,他只掌管半壁江山。这样一节课下来,同学们还是意犹未尽,还沉浸在故事数学课里呢!自习课的时候,有的同学东张西望,看到老师忙装模作样的做作业。吴老师搞笑地对他们说:“嘿!你们这些人,是想当特务吗?想监视老师吗?你以为特务这么好当啊!”那几个同学红着脸低着头,没准儿还在想:“老师真是火眼金睛,下回还是少犯点错误。” 这就是我们幽默的数学老师!(指导教师:王淑芳) 篇四:我的数学老师(来自:www.zaidian.cOm 在点网:幽默风趣的英语老师作文)作文10 【我的数学老师作文:篇十】 我们的数学老师姓刘,他长得高,较壮,有时候会弄一下头发。他教学有方,很幽默,有时还会说一些英语,是我们班颇受欢迎的老师。 刘老师上课时总是面带微笑。讲课时,他会说些幽默的话,有一次,同学回答问题,一不小心说错了,老师就开玩笑说:“这位同学已被病毒感染,请下一位同学继续回答。”随着“病毒”的扩散,许多同学“感染”了“病毒”,我也不例外。因为我也不小心读错了题。 刘老师在上课时是我们的老师,下课时就是我们的大朋友。他下课后陪我们玩,陪我们闹。有难题他会一一帮我们解答。 考场上,刘老师更是一名明察秋毫,火眼金睛的考官。在他监考的考场想打小抄?纯粹是癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉—做梦! 上刘老师的课从不会感到枯燥乏味,更不会感到身心疲惫,因为在我们不活跃时,他会讲个笑话激起我们的兴趣。上完课后,我们精神振奋,生命的火花好似在燃烧。 刘老师,我的恩师! 篇五:英语幽默小短文 英语幽默小短文 Wake up! Wake up! Its time for sleeping pills! 醒来!醒来!现在该吃安眠药了! The New Teacher George comes from school on the first of September. George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother. I didn\t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too..... The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they? Ill venture an answer, said an old lady. We have worn them off sitting here so long.. Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院)one inmate shouted, I am Napoleon! Another one said, How do you know? The first inmate said, God told me! Just then, a voice from another room shouted, I did not! Improvement One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along? Fine. I used to be one who couldnt understand the English men, and now its the English men who cant understand me. Half or Five Tenths? Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths? Gerald: Id much rather have the half. Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why. Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths. The Reason of Being Late Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning? Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, School -- Go Slow. When Do People Talk Least? Student A: When do people talk least? Student B: In February. Student A: Why? Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year. The plural Form of Child Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom? Tom: Men. Teacher: Good. And the plural of child? Tom: Twins. All Except the Music A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, Have you enjoyed yourself today? Oh, yes, miss! said Sally, It was lovely. All except the music, that is. My Sisters Fingers Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time? Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home. Teacher: I dont see any bandages. Kevin: Oh, they werent my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail. The Climate of New Zealand Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand? Matthew: Very Cold, sir. Teacher: Wrong. Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen! Lightning Teacher: Why is it said that lightning never strikes the same place twice? Roy: Because after its struck once the same place isnt there any more! Who Discovered Australia? Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny. Johnny: Its there, sir. Teacher: Thats right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia? Sammy: Johnny, sir. Essay Teacher had set his class an essay in A Game of Cricket. After two minutes Simon Steel handed his paper in and was allowed to go home. His essay read: Rain stopped play. How Many Rabbits? Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have? Jonathan: Nine, sir. Teacher: Nine? Jonathan: Ive got one already, sir. To Go to Heaven Sunday School teacher: Hands up all those who want to go to Heaven? Hands up ..... what about you, Terry? You havent got your hand up -- dont you want to go to Heaven? Terry: I cant. My Mum told me to go straight home. 教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时,他的话题又来了:“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴,那么现在尾巴到哪里去了?” “我来试试看,”一位老太太说。 “该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。” 疯人院 一天晚上,在疯人院里,一个病人说:我是拿破仑!另一个说:你怎么知道?第一个人说:上帝对我说的!一会儿,一个声音从另一个房间传来:我没说! 进步 一位学生对另一位说:“你的英语最近学的怎么样?” “很好,我过去不懂英国人说话,可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。” 半个还是十分之五 老师:你愿意要半个柑橘,还是十分之五个柑橘? 杰拉得:我宁可要半个。 老师:仔细想想,说出理由来。 杰拉得:因为你如果把柑橘切成十分之五,那柑橘汁就损失太多了。 迟到的原因 老师:约翰尼,为什么你每天早晨都迟到? 约翰尼:每当我经过学校附近的拐角处,就见路牌上写着‘学校-缓行。 人们什么时候说话最少? 学生甲:人们在什么时候说话最少? 学生乙:在二月。 学生甲:为什么呢? 学生乙:因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。 孩子的复数形式 老师:汤姆,男人这个词的复数形式是什么? 汤姆:男人们。 老师:答得好。那孩子的复数形式呢? 汤姆:双胞胎。 除了音乐 一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐,就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象,她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候,她问小萨莉:“你今天玩得好吗?” “噢,好极了,小姐,” 萨莉说,“除了音乐其它都很好。” 我妹妹的手指头 老师:凯温,这次你怎么又迟到了? 凯温:对不起,老师,我在家钉钉子,砸坏了两个手指头。 老师:怎么没有扎绷带呀? 凯温:噢,砸的不是我的手指头,我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。 新西兰的气候 老师:马修,新西兰的气候怎么样? 马修:先生,那里的天气很冷。 老师:错了。 马修:可是,先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。 闪电 老师:为什么说闪电从来不会两次击中同一个地方? 罗伊:因为它击中一个地方一次以后,那个地方就不存在了。 谁发现了澳大利亚? 老师:约翰尼,在地图上给我找出澳大利亚在什么地方。 约翰尼:先生,在这儿。 老师:对了。萨默,你来回答我是谁发现了澳大利亚? 萨默:先生,是约翰尼。 作文 老师给学生出了个作文题:“一场板球赛”。两分钟后,西蒙。斯蒂尔交了作文,老师允许他回家了。他在作文上写道:“下雨,比赛终止。” 1