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分类:故事

国外幽默故事(笑话)集锦(496~500)
(英汉对照)
“Laughter, the Best Medicine.
Cry, but also medicine.”
“笑是良药。哭,也是良药。”
The thrill is gone(1)
About two weeks before our fifth anniversary, my husband ased me what I would like for a gift. I told him I wanted something impractical and romantic.
On our anniversary, he presented me with a lovely gold bracelet. “A little four-letter word made me get this for you,”he said softly.
“Oh, how sweet,”I whispered. “L-O-V-E?”
“No,”he replied. “S-A-L-E.”
——Contributed by Joy Knopp
496.激情不再(1)
我们结婚五周年前大约两周时,我丈夫问我喜欢什么礼物。我告诉他我要那些没有实用价值却又富于浪漫色彩的。
在我们的周年纪念日那天,他向我展示了一副可爱的金手镯。 “一个小小的四字词,让我为你买了这个。”他温和地说。
“哦,多甜蜜。”我耳语他。“L-O-V-E(爱)?”
“不对,”他回答。 “S-A-L-E.(处理品)”
——乔伊.克诺普提供
The thrill is gone(2)
We were leaving a football game in a throng of people,and my husband,who never displays affection in public, took my hand. I was delighted. As we walked hand in hand out of the stadium, I looked up at him, smiling, and asked, “You don’t want to lose me?”
“No,”he said. “I don’t want to look for you.”
——Contributed by CarolJ. Nies
497.激情不再(2)
我们到人很拥挤的地方去看足球比赛。我那从来不会在公共场所显露感情的丈夫拉着我的手。我高兴极了。当我们手拉手走出体育场的时候,我抬头看着他微笑着问: “你是不想把我丢了吧?”
“不,”他说, “我是不想去找你。”
——卡罗尔. J.尼斯提供
Did not learn to spend money
A friend was trying to encourage his elderly mother toenjoy the money, she had accumulated through frugal living. “Mother,”he said, “you have enough money to last you until you’re a hundred.”
“And then what’ll I do?”she replied.
——Contributed by Carol Harding
498.没学会花钱
一位朋友试图劝他的老妈妈要享用钱,她通过节俭的生活攒下了钱。“妈妈,”他说,“你有足够的钱能让你用到一百岁。”
“到了一百岁又该怎么办?”她回答。
——卡罗尔.哈丁提供
A fascination for motorcycles
Our son, at age five, had a fascination for motorcycles.The sight of one would always bring forth squeal of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of “look at that!Look at that! I’m going to have one of thosesomeday.”His dad’s response always was “Not as long as I’m alive.”
One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, “Look at that!Look at that! I’m getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.”
——Contributed by ElizabethLeyds
499.迷恋摩托车
我儿子,刚五岁,对摩托车入了迷。一看见摩托车总是发出欢乐的尖叫声,伴之以兴奋地评论: “看呐!看呐!有朝一日我也会有一两那样的摩托车。”他爸爸的回到总是“只要我还活着就不行。”
一天,我儿子正和一位小朋友说话,一辆摩托车从傍边经过,他兴奋地指着离去的摩托车,向那个男孩感叹道: “看呐!看呐!只要我爸爸一死,我也能得到那样的一辆摩托车”
——伊丽莎白. 莱德斯提供
Kidding aside
My husband and I volunteered to answer phones fora public-TV membership drive.As I picked up the ringing telephone, a child’s voice came in loud and clear: “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America……”I hung up.The second timethe child reached me on the phone,it dawned on me thathe was doing exactly what the announcer was saying: “Please call in your pledge.”
——Contributed by Gladys J.VanScoyk
500.并非开玩笑
我和丈夫自告奋勇承担接听公共电视成员打来的电话。当我拿起铃声响起来的电话,传来一个孩子的大而清晰声音:“ 我宣誓忠于美利坚合众国的国旗…….”我就把电话挂了。第二次孩子又给我打电话。我恍然大悟,原来他正在做的正是播音员说的话:“请致电表达您的承诺。”
——格拉迪斯. J.范思考克提供
译自Vol.32 No.797 September 1988)