Task: Sentiment Analysis
Input (English): at the end of an action scene in " lara croft : tomb raider , " a wall collapses near the nubile warrior .
with her face on the floor , she gazes into the rubble , then grins abruptly and says " oh , my car keys !
"
i mention this scene because it was the only moment in the whole damned production that made me smile .
based on an incredibly popular video game , " lara croft : tomb raider " is a lousy movie .
the structure goes like this : poorly - staged action sequence , boring exposition , poorly - staged action sequence , boring exposition , etc . etc . , the end .
basically , the film exists to showcase angelina jolie 's puffy lips and enhanced tits .
close - ups are framed
oh - so - carefully to include her million dollar bazooms .
running scenes highlight her bouncing breasts in vintage " baywatch " fashion .
there 's even include a shower scene that offers a brief side view of them .
but the filmmakers are so inept
they ca n't even flash the audience correctly .
the one extended display of nudity is of - get ready for this - a guy .
for no particular reason , a muscular supporting character strolls around naked for about 30 seconds , with each shot composed to barely cover his package , ?
la " austin powers .
"
now , i enjoy a good looking male body as much as the next gay guy , but what the hell is beefcake doing in a t&a flick aimed at heterosexual males ? of course , what else should one expect in a film that does virtually nothing right ?
"
tomb raider " sets up elaborate action set pieces , then
renders them incomprehensible with needless jump cut editing
( a promising dual bungee cord battle is ruined by excessive cuts ) .
it promises a series of exotic locales , then delivers cavernous sets and grimy matte paintings with smoggy skies . throw in some bargain basement computer graphics
and you end up with the ugliest movie to come down the pike in many moons .
intended to be a rousing " indiana jones " style adventure ,
" tomb raider " lacks any sense of tension .
the low point comes when lara is " threatened " by statues of monkey warriors and a giant multi - armed shiva figure that come to life courtesy of cgi .
easily the lamest menaces i have ever seen , the creatures move like snails and fall apart with a single shot from a gun .
if you ever have to be chased by monsters , pray that you get the monkey warriors .
"
tomb raider " tells a story , sort of .
once every 5 , 000 years , the planets align .
a group of very bad men are out to find two halves of an object that , if reassembled just as the planets align , will give them control over time itself .
lara 's goal is to stop them and rescue her long - missing poppa ( jon voight , jolie 's real life dad ) .
none of this matters though , because stunning gaps in internal logic assure that the plot of " lara croft : tomb raider " is as lame as ever other aspect of the film ? except angelina jolie 's lips and breasts .
Output (English): N