train,number
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I am so confused and hurt right now. My boyfriend and I just got in the nastiest fight which elevated to him saying terrible things about my character (many curse words and degrading comments, he called me an a\*\*\*\*\*, sociopath, narcissist, psychopath, and abuser).

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 yr. He recently had to quit law school due to worsening health problems. I have chronic health issues too, and we are both partially disabled. Since then, he's taken up an extremely bad habit of gaming 7-12 hours a day and is in a terrible deep depression. He's been doing this for *\*months\**. I love him, he's nice to me most of the time, but this drives me crazy. Most often, we are sweet and kind to each other, having a nice time, but once a month (or so), he burts angry explosive insults at me that leave me emotionally *destroyed* and thinking terrible things about myself/my character for *days.*

Most recent fight: I don't have a lot of money but I bought an expensive ($1800) computer to edit videos (which I'm not doing much anymore). I let him use it 95% of the time (since his old computer broke) for the past 6 months. Occasionally, I want to use it to watch movies or TV shows because my old computer sucks and has no memory. I only use the new comp a few hours per week; every other waking hour of the day, every day, he's on it.

I used my new comp to watch a TV show to decompress after working on a research proposal when he was asleep. Within 5 minutes of him waking up, he asked for my computer so he could play games. I was on the season finale and wanted to finish. He wanted me to quit midway &amp; give it to him. He said it was ""unfair"" of me to give it to him since I'd used it for several hours (when he was sleeping). I said that it was ridiculous that he was tallying time I used MY computer when HE was ASLEEP.

I suggested he do something else for 30 minutes while I finish the season finale, and offered to let him use my old computer to do whatever. He said my old computer is a ""piece of c\*\*\*"" and it can't do ""what he *needs* to do"" (play games). I pointed out that he didn't *need* to play. He said my use of the word ""need"" (that he didn't *NEED* to play games) was manipulative +disgusting because I took this statement ""out of context"" and was trying to ""insult"" him. He said that I was a ""liar"" for ""twisting his words around"" - that saying you don't *need* to play video games is ""judgemental and manipulative"".

I said it's unfair that I never get to use the computer that *I* paid for with *my* money.

This is when he **COMPLETELY** lost it. Suddenly, because I brought ""money"" into the equation (only in the context of my computer, nothing else), he started yelling and screaming at me, hurling every insult he could think of: a ""financial abuser"", wielding ""power, money, and status"" to manipulate &amp;control him, being a ""slithering slimy snake"". He said it was DISGUSTING of me to mention money, and I was using resources and privilege to abuse him in a ""sociopathic""/evil way. I was called a c\*\*\*, judgemental w\*\*\*\*, and that my actions come ""straight out of the book of psychopathy"". He said that I had intentionally hurt/insult him (I truly didn't intend to, I was stating what I thought was objective fact), and because of that, he admitted that he ""WANTED to HURT me with words and insults"". He said that unless I can ""admit"" to being a ""disgusting manipulative a\*\*\*\*\*\*"", then we are ""OVER"". If I didn't admit to it, then I was a ""liar"". So in other words, my only choices were to be a ""liar"" or an ""a\*\*\*\*\*\*"". Pinned into a corner, forced to admit to something I don't think I did. When I told him to stop fighting, that I cool down and stop verbally attacking me, he said ""this isn't over"". I told him I had a headache and went into the other room and he followed me, yelling at me, getting in my space.

I am now feeling extremely upset and wondering if I'm the ""bad guy"". He spent HOURS trying to convince me that I'm a psychological abuser, narcissist, liar, sociopath, and that I have MAJOR character problems/toxicity.. I'm starting to wonder if that's true. I've gone as far as watching youtube videos on psychopathy/sociopathy/financial abuse, trying to figure out if somehow he's right and I have been incredibly abusive somehow but completely unaware of my actions. I even offered to go to therapy to work on becoming ""more aware"" of my ""toxicity"" since I apparently am not understanding it. Right now, I'm 50% convinced that I'm a covert narcissist without ever knowing it. This is devastating to me. Because he attacks me like this so often, I've started recording our conversations and have been listening to them again trying to understand where I went wrong or how I lied. It's utterly confusing because in the recordings, I don't see what I did wrong, all I hear is him attacking me.

The next day, he apologized and said he didn't mean what he said (even though during the argument he said he meant it). But, he DOES still think I was a jerk for bringing up money. I told him that I am now extremely concerned about ""being a narcissist"", and to that, he responded that I have a ""weak sense of identity"", am ""overly sensitive"", and should stop bringing up water under the bridge. As far as he's concerned, that was ""normal"", he acts like nothing happened, and I AM the ""pathological one"" for not ""letting go of the fight"".

TL;DR: I am very concerned that I'm a covert narcissist without realizing it or that I'm toxic, as my boyfriend says many times during our fights. I don't understand how my behavior or comments are ""toxic"" but if I say one thing wrong that triggers him, he flips this anger switch and starts attacking me and assaulting my character, calling me a narcissist/sociopath/all sorts of terrible curse words. I'm confused beyond words and concerned that I've been a narcissist without realizing it. My head is spinning. Please help me understand what's going on.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>***updating to let you all know that I’ve made the decision to file for divorce.  I truly believe it is the right thing and I just pray for strength during this terrible time.  

What if the physical abuse only happened a handful of times throughout our 10 year marriage (spaced years apart), what if there were never any serious injuries (i know there could have been), what if the rest of the time they were generally kind and supportive (they def have a temper but not aimed toward me usually), what if they are repentant and sober now...it’s been a couple months of us being apart, I know it must be longer but am I crazy for considering trying again in the future?  There were a lot of other issues but none that would have caused me to really walk away now the easiest thing honestly seems to walk away for good and the truth is I know I don’t NEED them, in many ways I don’t even WANT them (can’t imagine being affectionate with them)...BUT the pull of my kiddos wanting them back, the kindness and sadness radiating from them every time we interact for kids, their declarations of love, the certainty that surely they wouldn’t let this happen ever again, the lure of not having to do it on my own it all feels like the right answer isn’t to walk away for good after all.  

Has anyone ever successfully reconciled (no repeat abuse) and if so how long was separation, how much therapy, were you able to truly forgive and not hold it against them?[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I need to go to another court date. 
His lawyer pushed the date. 
He’s not guilty.

Why is he pleading not guilty? 
This makes me angry and upset! 
And the court does not want to push the charges.

I dont wanna see him, I dont wanna go 😞 

I want this to be over and done with, I wanna move on in my life.[/INST]Legal</s>",2
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My boyfriend (30m) and I (26f) have had a shaky relationship but it hasn't really gotten violent until last night. He's mildly crossed the line in the past in the bedroom but I would eventually shrug it off. Last night, he got upset because I asked his friend what kind of cheese he wanted on his dinner but didn't ask my boyfriend if he wanted any (I already put it on his because I know what he likes). When I tried to explain my logic, he mocked me and overpowered me in the conversation. I got upset and raised my voice. My boyfriend said he wanted me out and dumped some sentimental belongings I had in a box on the ground. I told him he wouldn't like it if I did that with his computer. He came over and hugged me but then grabbed my phone out of my pocket and ran away. I was trying to pull it out of his hands but he kept saying ""This is my phone. I pay for it!"" I went in his computer room in rage but with no intentions of doing anything I'd later regret. Thats when he put both hands around my neck and picked me up (he's 6'5, 275lbs, I'm 5'3, 115lbs). Then he tossed me on the ground. He kept applying pressure to my neck, I had to get him to stop so croaked out ""I love you"". He instantly released and I started to have a panic attack. He comforted me and told me to calm down. My ear was ringing and I couldn't breathe. I went in the bathroom and he said that I needed to give him sex to calm down. My back was hurting from him slamming me into the ground. He blocked me in- I had no phone and nowhere to go. I said that's assault and told him to move out of the doorway. He didn't, he stood his ground and said he needed sex. We live in an apartment so I loudly said ""You're forcing me to have sex! Thats sexual assa-"" he put his hand over my mouth and nose, popping my nose. He released his hand and ask ""whats it going to be?"" I went to give him a bj but was in pain and he was mad that I didn't give all in. I tasted an awful taste and spit in the sink. It was yellow... I believe he peed in my mouth.... he then said he didn't and that was his precum. I let him fuck me after that because I felt like I had no other option to get him to comply. He kept saying that he's going to get me off the pill so I can have a baby with him. He pounded me as hard as he could then after he finished told me I had to give him my pin for my phone, otherwise he'd factory reset it by putting in too many false pins. Eventually, I gave it to him but changed it today. I was afraid that he was going to try to kill me in my sleep but emotionally and physically exhausted, so I kept drifting in and out of sleep. He makes a lot of money and says he's going to ruin my life if I ever leave him. He also claims to know a gang and has threatened to have them kill me and my family. Today, he is being nice and I haven't left the bed. He got me to put all of my money in a joint checking account and empties it into his savings, whenever I show signs of leaving. I no longer have a car because he manipulated me into signing it over to his name so he could let his sister use it. I did this in the beginning of the relationship, when things were good. I'm not sure what to do or how to get out. The only thing he has allowed me to have is my phone because he hasn't seen me doing anything bad on it. I also think that he thinks that I am so in love with him that I would never reach out for help. It's difficult to get away... especially, now during the pandemic, since he never leaves the house without me. I've never called a shelter and don't know what to expect from DV organizations.

Edit: fix grammar and add details[/INST]Shelters/ DV center/ Agency</s>",1
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>So my partner of almost 5 yrs got arrested last week for domestic violence towards me and my sister and a few other charges. To make the long story short, I've been with him since high school and have noticed signs of mental illnesses and whatnot. I've narrowed it down to narcissistic, borderline personality disorder, and possibly bipolar disorder. His dad has anger management issues, his mom is diagnosed with bipolar and he has always had anger issues as well. He was often mad and would yell at me for the littlest of things such as if we are playing a game together and I accidentally died (I suck at games but we play together because I know he likes it) he would yell and I call me names, insults me and whatnot. when we moved in together in college, he got physical. he would punch me and hit me and thrown me around like a rag doll. I remember him grabbing my head and slamming it into the fridge in our apartment and the first time he punched me till I bleed in my nose. I wanted to leave at the time but I was scared. Then he stopped, told me he'd never hit me again because he found God. Now, I am religious, not in the best way but I believe in God. So when he told me he found God and decided to be better, I thought maybe this will be our turning point. he was the best for a few weeks, then we started fighting again. he would yell and scream and call me by names and insults. I never said anything because to him it's defiant towards him because he is the man of the household. he eventually quits his job and I was left to support us and my 3 huskies. we moved to a different place because his best friend was supposed to be living with us but they fell off before our move-in date so he never signed the lease. then he would often bring up the idea of a 3 person relationship. this has always been a subject throughout our relationship. it has never been an official thing. he hooked up with my roommate his first year of college, then told me he wasn't gonna do it again. it was completely official when my sister got involved. I told him that it was okay because in my mind it's the least I can do for him because he has done so much for me.

that's when his discipline method got worst. before my sister, he wasn't hitting me anymore but it was more of him choking me out till I submit to him and he'll sit on me till I gave in. but when my sister started to live with us he started to do more. he'll tell her that I'm being possessed by an evil spirit and would tell her to go and choke me and he would join and they would choke me out till I peed my pants or till I was out completely, then he would stand on my chest and jump. he would tell me to go choke her if she ever defies him. If I don't do it he would do that to me only worst. he was always favoring her and give her the lighter discipline and make it a horrific experience for me. Another disciplinary action would be he would put our hands in hot water, and or dunk our heads in cold water till we can't breathe anymore. towards the end, I was mortified every time he would raise his voice or if he even said that I'm defying him. my sister finally broke one night after he told her to leave the house she left and called my mom. from there they got the cops involved and he was arrested later that afternoon. I had wished that I would have a breaking point as my sister does. but I wanted him to get better, I want him to feel better to cope better with his problems. I love him

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't know how to feel right now because I know what he did was wrong and that it should never have happened. but towards the end he was such a gentleman towards me, he was sweet, I got to see what he was like back in high school again and I really miss him. I really think that our relationship is going to get better. but I also know that if he ever comes back what he did to me will come back and it's never gonna change. I don't know what to do now because his mom keeps texting me updating the status of his case and what she wants to do. she keeps asking me questions about him that make me worry about him and it makes me want to bail him out because I have the money to. but I also know that I'm going to put myself and my sister in danger if he gets out. I don't know what to do or what to think because I miss him and I miss being with him. my dogs remind me of him, my place reminds me of him everything I come home to reminds me of him and I'm just a sad mess. my mom has been really supportive but I don't know if I'll ever come out of this mess. he has made me feel worthless, he made me feel like I'm nothing but a piece of shit good for nothing.

I'm sorry for the long post. I don't normally put my life on the internet like this but I'm stuck and lost and I don't know where else to turn. I don't expect anyone to have read this far but if you have, thank you for reading about me complaining about my life I appreciate it, I just want to be at peace...

Edit: he had previously mentioned to me that he wanted me dead. That he wanted to kill me. Then go back when he's happy and say those are things he said while he's angry[/INST]Legal</s>",2
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My boyfriend choked me twice while I was driving Saturday night. I told him that I needed gas, drove to the nearest gas station, and asked them to call 911. Because we lived together, the police said that they had to arrest him, which is fine. But I'm still so heartbroken. I can't help but think about how scared he probably is. I know that he's an adult and must deal with the consequences of his actions, but my love for him is still there and therefore I don't want him to suffer.

I'm not going back. I can't risk my life. But it's still so hard. I miss him. Just a few days ago we were kissing and hugging and saying I love you. Now he's in jail, and I'm heartbroken and alone. I feel like I'm being ripped into pieces. My heart aches tremendously.

I can hardly sleep. I can hardly eat; the thought of food makes me nauseous. I don't have the energy or motivation to take a shower. I cry about literally everything (seriously, I dropped my apple and cried for 5-10 minutes). I'm in law school, and I can't focus enough to do my school work. I can't handle this.

If anyone has any words of encouragement or advice, I would greatly appreciate it.[/INST]Police</s>",4
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>i have been a single mom of two boys who are 6 and 8 for the last four years or so and my oldest has some serious issues he has adhd ptsd and anxiety from the violence he saw and the stuff he was subjected to before i finally left, well now i am at home with the boys and live off of his social security and i lost my job due to covid and now unemployment ran out i do not know what to do their dad claimed them last year because i didnt work enough and i tried to stop it but the irs and support told me that him paying 70 dollars a month entitles him to file and also collect stimulus i feel like it is insane i am waiting on a stimulus for only me and am so grateful for that but i have a broken car and am behind on all bills this has been so tough i cannot get ahead when him and his wife can not only get the money for them but also the two kids they have there i feel like i am being insane and i hate it but i need to find a way to get the money to be for us so that i can get my car fixed and catch up on everything.. PLEASE GIVE ME ANY SUGGESTIONS.... any further info needed i would be happy to tell yoy[/INST]Finance</s>",8
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hi all I've never done this before. I'm really looking for some advice. I have been with my partner for nearly 8 years. I'm 27 he's 36. I was very younge when I met him and he was amazing and I quickly fell in love with him and him me. About a year into the relationship we had a argument (can't remember what about) he was trying to get me out of his flat but I refused as I wanted to sort things out. He then pinned me up against the wall and strangled me. After he calmed down he was very sorry and I accepted the apology and he said he would never do that again. 7 years later I can sadly say that simular situations during arguments have happened at least another 6 times over the years most recently in the Autumn so a few months back now. Hes strangled me almost every time, pinned me up against the wall and has slapped me plus all of the awful names I am called ( bitch, hoe, retard) I never fight back or swear I just about raise my voice. I've always known that this is bad and not normal however I think over the years I have become very good at ignoring and blanking out the truth. Since turning 26/27 I've been doing alot of research on domestic violence and have accepted that I am a victim. I wouldn't say that I am your typical victim as most of the time our relationship is amazing and full of fun. However there has been times (roughly once or twice a year) when he's particularly stressed and when an argument breaks out he has become violent. As of recent I've addressed these issues with him and told him that what's he's been doing isn't normal and that I am not to blame for his out bursts. I've told him if it happens one more time then we are done for good. He's extreamly sorry and realises that he's been a monster to me at times. Does anyone here been in a similar situation as me? And can things actually change or am I just wasting my time? Thank you all xx[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I did everything right. I reported my abuser almost every time he hurt me. Everyone always asks why victims don’t report their abuser. This is why.
My husband is now facing prison time with 2 felonies and a misdemeanor. I should be happy right? I’m free of him? What people don’t see is that now I am alone to take care of a newborn baby. I can’t do this alone. I lock myself in the bathroom every night while he cries himself to sleep. And what about the financial aspect? I can’t support myself and my child. I have resorted to selling pics and videos and basically prostituting myself out to have money for rent. I feel so alone. My friends and family are gone, my abuser pushed them away long ago. It’s just me and my baby. There’s so much more than just reporting someone and thinking your problems will just go away. Please if anyone has any advice or maybe has been here before. I’m hurting. Contemplating adoption. I just want to disappear.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I don’t know if this is also abuse, but Reddit recommended to post this here instead of another sub I posted this in. 

TL;DR how could someone escape from a very controlling relationship?

I (F25) am in a relationship with my bf (M28) for nearly 8 years right now. A lot of stuff has happened between us. Very beautiful and good things but also horrible and terrifying things. 

My bf is very controlling and basically decides how I live my life. I have no friends anymore and no contact with my family. 
He tracks everything I do and controls who I talk to and who I meet up with. Which is almost no one nowadays because of his behavior in the past. 
I really really love him, he is honestly the best person I know when he is in a good or okayish mood. But when his mood gets bad, it gets really bad... 

I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t want to lose him but I also don’t want to live like this anymore. I feel trapped and there is no one I can talk to about this.

(In the past I’ve tried to break up with him and been in a women’s shelter for a few months. I felt really safe there but my bf found me through his connections and started threatening me and my 2 supervisors from that place. I had to go back to him. The controlling behavior only got worse after that and is still happening to this day.
I don’t trust police either, because in the past I had really bad experience with them. They tried to break up my relationship, pressured me to choose between my bf and my family and own life, said they would be there for me but just used me to catch my bf... that’s not a way for me anymore. I really gave it a chance)[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>If anybody has experienced narcissist abuse/ rage in marriage how did you how hold your self together TIL you were able to break free? IM broken down inside the things that have happened are unspeakable ..we own a business together too..im in therapy Any body been in my place? To help clarifly my situation I have a disability as well.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>So I’m 36 weeks pregnant. The father of my baby and I do not get a long because I won’t have sex with him. He told me he should have  forced sex with me the last time I was with him and I made him stop. Every time I don’t have sex with him he becomes verbally abusive. And I can’t even see him without him touching me after I said no. 


It’s getting to the point where I don’t even wanna share custody of my unborn daughter with him. Because he makes me feel intimidated and uncomfortable. I don’t know what to do.[/INST]Childbearing</s>",3
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I am no longer involved with my husband and as the CVC (crime victims coordinator) contact states, the case is proceeding through the legal system. 

I really don't know what all that entails and at the moment it's not a priority to know for my life. 

What I can't seem to figure out is how to get out of the situation that's happened since. 

I couldn't afford our place without his income. I've stayed with a family member for a while. Got a job. The place was only temporary so I left to stay with a friend. Got a job. Friend got concerned about covid risk because I was working in retail. Got kicked out. Found another friend I can couch surf for a bit. I am looking for yet another job here in this area. 

Each step of the way I have kept the cvc coordinator know how to reach me. I have found the local crises center(s) and asked for help, counciling, etc. 

While I appreciate the help along the way being without a place of my own and couch surfing for almost 6 months has honestly taken its toll on me. Plus finding jobs, having to quit jobs, and having to move further from my family just for a place to stay. 

So my question is this....how do I recover? Recover as in get together everything needed to get into a Home of *my* own! 

All of the advocates I've worked with in 4 different areas now have given me phone numbers (bc of covid offices are closed). 

I have no address, therefore can't qualify for snap or anything else. My back seat of my car is my closet and my pictures are in my trunk. My tv and a few more odds and ends are in the back seat of a friend's broke down truck. 

My beloved small dog is luckily out of the heat and cold but kenneled more than ever before because it's someone else's house. 

Shelters say to call daily and the nearest one that takes my dog is not in our area, gives priority to that county's residents, and said because of the pandemic their waiting list is hardly moving. Then they are just a 30 day shelter and I have to have a place to go after that. (If I haven't been able to get on my feet in 6 months, how does moving yet another time for a 30 day period help me get a place?

Housing authority said the waiting list is about a year long in order for me to use my cvc grant. 

I feel hopeless that after six months of doing what I'm told, calling all these resources, leaving my information, etc. I'm no closer to figuring out how to navigate the financial insecurity this has caused in my life. 
 
Am I doing this wrong?[/INST]Housing</s>",9
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I don't know what to do anymore. The abuse is getting so bad. I have a  medical condition to the point that I can't work anymore and I got denied disability.  I have no money and no where to go. Shelters apparently can't accommodate my medical needs. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so alone.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Last night things finally came to a head.  My husband, when he wants to argue will take away my cell phone or any lines of communication I have (he will go so far as to disconnect our landline).  He also likes to call my friends and tell them I’m “acting crazy”.  Last night he physically abused me again...he does what he knows is the worst for me.  He holds me down and hurts me and won’t let me free.  He decided to FaceTime one of my friends and proceeded to tell her that I had “went crazy and attacked him”... I did scratch him to try to get him off of me so he showed her that.  I was sitting on the floor crying in my underwear and he faced the camera towards me so she could see....as soon as I started to say that he was lying, and that I had bruises, he quickly hung up the phone.  But my friend knew I was in trouble and she called the police as soon as she got off the phone.  He did not stop hurting me until the police showed up, and when they did come he told me to tell them to leave and that I had self inflicted wounds 😞 I really had no idea how they knew to come to my house....because I had tried to dial 911 on my cell phone and house phone but he ripped the phones away.  I had thought that maybe the call did go through but I found out later that it was my friend who called.   Thank god for her ♥️ this is not the first time this has happened but he always told me every incident would be the last.  I just couldn’t believe he would do it again and again.   I have a beautiful 6 month old daughter who was asleep on her crib in the next room during all of this 💔 💔  I’m so grateful that the police believed me and helped me to file a temporary restraining order.   I feel lost today....it’s Valentine’s Day and I am at home with my daughter.  I’m in so much pain mentally and physically but I’m also heartbroken and miss him....I know this is for the best because he cannot be abusing me but why does it hurt so bad when they are finally away?  I hope everyone’s day is better and thanks for letting me vent to you all 💜[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hey so I was with a guy for 3 years and he broke me down so bad that I lost myself before I got with him I had one child and life was amazing then we had a child together and I saw red flags and ignored the because it was only a few fast forward to me moving to his state and having his daughter that’s when the abuse started I shook it off and believed he wasn’t gonna hit me again and I was kid right it led to him choking me out every time I didn’t submit or do what he wanted me to do, I was forced to have sex when I didn’t want to or I was accused of cheating and that was another fight now here I am homeless and 4 months pregnant with twins that’s now kids 3 and 4 and I have 2 kids already and to be honest I’m far from excited about having them I know it may change when I have them but rn I despise being pregnant by this man he’s living his life and doing everything that he wants to do and I’m pregnant and can’t work till I give birth And then the struggle and stress of being a single mom of 4 , I sometimes wonder if I should have got a abortion like he was trying to force me into 💔 is it ok to not feel excited about being pregnant with twins  by a man who like to use me as his punching bag

Signed AM I THE ASSHOLE MOM FOR NOT BEING EXTREMELY EXCITED ABOUT HAVING TWINS[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Update: the court found no evidence of abuse and he has gained 50/50 custody. All he has to do is take a abuse class. Ugh. She is so defeated




Hello, I am hoping you can help me. My friend has left her abusive husband and we filed a restraining order for her last week. The trial is this week and I am worried we don’t have enough evidence. Right now we  only have dates and times of abusive events. We don’t have any pictures (her phone was smashed and she hadn’t backed up pictures). We do have one threat on text that is pretty intense but that’s it. Is that going to be enough? She is scared and I am scared for her. I am worried they won’t grant it for her and her children and he will become enraged. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you so much.[/INST]Legal</s>",2
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I don't know for sure if it was abuse or it was just a bad situation. Also, English is not my native language but i will try my hardest.

I met him (28m) in 2019 trough a dating app. We straight away clicked and after a month of casual dating he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was so thrilled. I am a very small girl with no piercings or tattoo's at all and he was fully tattood and had big ear plugs and other piercings. Everything i wanted, the first half year everything was super and perfect and he was so sweet and gentle and funny. Sex was perfect, so electric that tesla wouldve been jalous. Then all of a sudden, some days he would be very grumpy and if i said a little too much, i got called out making fun of me, being ashamed, i always apoligized after those things because ofcourse, how could it not be that he is right? The sex was getting shorter and fewer, not so electric anymore, more like he just had to do this. So then after 1,5 year i was very carefull around him. Didnt say too much, just enough to not be anoying again. Everytime i went to my own place wich i share with 11 roommates (4f+8m) he would always call me to make sure i was alone in my room, to keep me safe from the male roommates because he saw their looks in their eyes. Now i think he wanted me completly for himself, even when i am not with him, but i am still not sure. When my family called, he always sighed deep and pointed at the door, meaning: ' could you take this call outside?' so after a few months i stopped calling them and just texting them.
But now i was texting a lot wich was a bit suspicious for him.
It started with, when i was at home, i always called him to say goodnight before bed and when he heard a roommate walking in the hallway he would ask: are you alone? Who's with you? I don't believe you, fucking bitch and hung up. I always called back and promised him i would never ever cheat. After a few more weeks it would turn into: who did you fuck this week? If i ever find out you are cheating, you will dissapear from this world and no one would ever know where you are. On to yesterday,
I was more quit then usual because i really was thinking of how to end things with him because of all the namecalling was really feeling heavy on my shoulders and was really a ticking stressbomb because i was walking around eggshells with him. He asked me what was wrong and i dont know why i said it but i said: i'm done. I dont want this anymore. I dont love you anymore and i want you to be happy with someone who really can love you. Well, that was the worst thing to say, he freaked out, shouted in front of my face super close what a fucking whore i was and i probably already fucked everyone on my workplace now ( side note: i am a 1,58m small girl, and work in a metal factory, wich is very unusual as metal is a real mens job) and he threw me around his room and i quickly grabbed my most important stuff and my phone. He was getting so close that i said i'd call the police id he didn't let me leave.
So i took my stuff, took my bike and rode very fast to home.
He sent me such heartbreaking texts after i left. How sorry he was and he never meant to hurt me, and he loves me so so much, i am his future wife. I wanted to run back as fast as i can and hold him and kiss him so badly but i know i can never go back to that,ever. When i was home, I called my parents, told them everything and they grabbed my still remaining stuff from him today. I blocked him everywhere and also his only best friend.
But those texts he sent me when i just got home, they keep me doubting if he really loves me or if was just abused.

So please help me because i am really confused.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My sister's husband has been abusing her the first time it happened she did call the police on him he went to jail only over night and was let right back out. The thing is they live together and she has no where to go. We are not in the same state at the moment so I can not just pick her up and bring her to me. What other things can she do besides getting a restraining order. I have sent her national DV  numbers she said they give her tips on what to do and bottom line is call police. She tried calling a few shelters but they tell her to call back the next day. And it happened again today. What are some numbers help lines or tips I can give her????[/INST]Shelters/ DV center/ Agency</s>",1
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Get ya a snack cause this is gonna be a LONG story.

I started dating this guy for a few months back in the Spring. We fell in love quickly and he moved in with me. We both have our own past relationship traumas, toxic behaviors, insecurities, trust issues, etc. I'm very closed off due to these reasons therefore it has taken me longer to open up than it has him.. which resulted in a lot of overthinking on his part. From the start, the phones have been an issue. I will admit I started the first fight over him acting sketchy over his phone. First things first, he completely swiped his phone before he came over. I mean, everything. He explained his reasoning as he was being respectful to me by not having any past messages for me to get upset over. Ok, understood. However, he kept changing his PIN to his phone. He told it to me one day so that I could use his cause mine was dead. A few days later, the PIN was changed. Is that not shady in your eyes? Maybe I just let my mind wander and be triggered due to being cheated on by an ex. So, I let that go. Next, we had had a few drinks one night and apparently I had too many. I hadn't drank in a long time and I definitely overdone it. He says I flipped out and was very angry, accusing him of cheating and said a lot of hurtful things to him. I don't remember this at all but I apologized profusely and tried to make it up to him for several days afterward. Fast forward a few weeks later, he's been drinking... and it is his turn to explode. He calls me every name in the book. I just took it as I knew I did deserve it. Fast forward another week, he takes it a step farther and will not allow me to have any alone time whatsoever. I can't even go to the bathroom in peace. I was laying in bed, crying.. And he jerked the blanket away and flipped the lights on and demanded I get up. I didn't. So he proceeded to take all of my clothes off the rack and throw them on top of me. I begged him to stop and leave me alone. He would go away for a minute then come right back. I made the mistake of messaging my brother, just to vent, get some advice... As he does the same to me. However, he was very upset and came over and made my boyfriend leave via police. We broke up for about a month. We still talked every day. He begged me every single day to take him back. I eventually gave in. He didn't technically move back in but he stayed with me majority of the time. He had been back a couple months now and everything was fine... Until his birthday rolled around and he wanted to drink. I was skeptical at first as he had really made some great progress since he had decided to quit... But wanted him to enjoy his day. His birthday turned into a week long binge that was pure torture. It was like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde moment. I swear several times I seen the devil in his eyes. He practically held me hostage in my own apt for 3 days. I wasn't allowed to go outside or visit my dad who lives right next door. He would scream crazy outbursts like I was beating him, would throw himself up against the door so neighbors would hear. He grabbed knives and put them in my hands saying I just want your finger prints all over these incase something happens to me. He slapped himself over and over in the face saying I was doing it, to call the law. He even took my hands once and punched himself in the face. He had scratches on his face from my nails trying to just get away from him. I begged for him to stop. He would take a drink of beer and spew it in my face. He would call me various names, say I was mocking him for being abused as a child.. When that is something I NEVER would have done. He broke my couch by sitting down too hard, then got up and done it again so it would break down completely. He wouldn't allow me to have access to my phone, said he didn't trust me. I needed to use the bathroom and was gonna take it in there with me to watch Tik Tok videos. He wouldn't let me so I gently tossed it on the bed, it landed on the pillow. I came out and my phone was gone. I searched the bedroom up and down. He said he didn't know where it was. I eventually found it hidden behind the cushions on the couch next to where he sits. The screen protector was off. It was wet, inside the case was wet and the screen was black. It looked like he had punched it and put it under faucet. He still to this day denies touching it. Hw busted TWO of his phones. First he busted after he did mine, he slammed it on ground and asked if I was happy now. Hw got a cheap phone the next day.. The nexr day after he had been drinking he busted it too, for no reason.. Just tossed it up in air and busted it. He would scream that I was talking badly about his mom, that i threatened to kill her and she was in diapers and used a walker. I never did any of that. I literally sat and tried to focus on playing cards with him, as that is what he always wanted to do. I had to sit and play Rummy and UNO with him for 8 hours, while he drank and done and said crazy things. He would flip me off right in my face, finger to my nose. He would throw his hands out like he was going to hit me in the face, then get mad when I flinched. There is just so much... I'm probably forgetting things. When he would wake up, it was like nothing ever happened. He would try to hug up and love on me and talk to me sweetly. Then he would drink, and it was like a monster was awoken. He blamed me for it all... That I started this and that he couldn't trust me is reason he acted this way. I had to literally escape from my own apt to get away from him and my Dad called the police to escort him out. I filed an EPO... That has still not been served. We work at the same hospital. He still talks to me every day, wants to take breaks, wants to come over. Says he will never drink again. I love him but I am so scared. What if next time is worse? What if he truly hurts me? What do I do? I know my mind is saying run far away but my heart loves him for who he is when he's not drinking. How can I believe him? I just really need some advice. Thanks for listening!!![/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hi! Has anybody else experienced losing common friends being the victim of DV? It‘s kinda weird to me, everytime I open up about how I feel people start going against me and want nothing to do with me anymore. On the other hand, they still hang out with my abuser and are friends like nothing happened.
Is this normal??[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My ex is currently in AA and has been sober since I left the marriage in the beginning of 2019.

Our marriage was very difficult and when he was using, he could become verbally and emotionally abusive. Sometimes it became physical.

Issue is our child thinks the world of him, like he can do no wrong. She loves him very much. It’s very important to her that we get along.

All of 2019, I hated him. All the resentment and anger I was holding in the past 11 years was finally able to surface.

When our divorce finalized in 2020, I started to soften towards him. Becoming more friendly, no longer tensing up when he was around.

Someone in another thread pointed out that abuse survivors may want to explore forgiving their abusers. ‘Forgive those that don’t deserve your forgiveness’ And so I did, for my daughter’s sake.

I even invited him over for Christmas since he had nowhere to go.

Is it strange? I’m feeling judgement from people in my life who think I shouldn’t give him the time of day. Some may even think I’m still in love with him (I am not!). Just wanted to see if anyone has gone through the same experience.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I’m so scared, and feel bad to leave my situation. Not my first post, but I just feel so alone, and I have resources together, but I can’t seem to act on them. My bf threatens to call my family. Threatens to destroy my things. I have 2 cats he even threatens them. I feel like he’s trying to strip my life away. All my friends are hoes to him. I’m the one being disrespectful. I feel I’m to blame. I’ve had insecurities/trust issues this whole relationship, and apparently me asking questions is yelling at him, and disrespecting him. Which I know my actions really haven’t been great on my end. I’ve been so overwhelmed with other family issues, and this is the tip of the ice burg  I haven’t been great either. Wasn’t really in a good place I would start throwing things. I have yelled at him only because he just won’t stop. Calling me names constantly. He will get in my face one day I ended up scratching him. I ended up cutting myself one day. I’ve been invalidated my whole life, and having someone who’s suppose to be my everything I kinda lost it. I’m extremely embarrassed of my actions. It’s just such an unhealthy relationship, and I want out, but he won’t leave, and he said if I ever report him that makes me evil. Which I know. I just want to be away from him I don’t care to press charges I just want him out of my life. It might be a lot to ask, but if someone is willing to PM me, and talk about it maybe someone can help knock some sense into me.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Describing my situation with some (very brief) details of the violence:

During a fight at the beginning of the year, he nearly suffocated me and gave me a concussion. There hasn't been any of that type of violence between us since then except one time after a verbal argument, where he more or less said, 'I want to do that to you again but I won't'. I've moved in and out of the house since but after experiencing worsening PCS (post concussion syndrome) symptoms am now back again, trying to focus on recovering some of my health which I've felt moving around so much has not helped me do. This is his apartment. Before I moved in, I was living in a rental that was affordable to me at the time, however, is no longer since I only just finished school when I moved into here, the pandemic had just started and am now still mostly not working and am still pretty sick from PCS (read as: I cannot afford my own place right now). He is gone a lot of the time (weeks at a time) and will continue to be until the summer, when he leaves for work for a full 3-4 months. I am in ongoing therapy and he has gone to a few therapy sessions that afterwards seems to give him a positive shift in perspective. I am pretty convinced at this point that I will need to leave the house and the relationship eventually. However, I also want to focus on doing the things that make me feel like I am on the right track for my recovery. And when I was moved out, I was really struggling with finding a situation where I could be more comfortable than I am here (sans fights). Right now, it honestly feels to me that I am in the best worst case scenario although I realize it is still risky. He did do me serious harm. He could have even ended my life. I don't think that is what he was trying to do and I also don't think he would purposefully do that, although of course I have read the statistics about abuse escalating. Considering all the pros and cons, I feel that for myself, right now, I am leaning towards staying (maybe at longest until the summer when he is gone for the longer period of time) and focusing on my health and recovery as being the best option for me.

My question for the community is:

If you were in my shoes, what would you do and over what period of time? I am looking forward to hearing more perspectives, especially given that I do, in fact, have brain trauma that is no doubt affecting my reasoning skills.

One more thing that I will add for those who have never had brain trauma before:

In my experience of living with PCS, it is like having a very strict limit on your energy level. It feels like I wake up with a set amount of energy to try to do the things I want to do, hoping that at least some of those things are what will eventually help me to make a full recovery and/or give myself an energy boost for upcoming days. I try to eat some brain food, do a couple social things, do some chores, do some exercise, enjoy some screen time, knowing that if I push myself too much in anything that I could bust and 'lose' the rest of my day. I'm finding that pacing myself is very important. A 'bust' may not be life threatening (as far as I know) but it has its consequences and sometimes I feel the effects of a bust for days, weeks. At least for me it is a big factor in knowing that if/when I do move out again, it will take a lot of my energy to do so.

Woof, I'm tired now. thanks for reading through! Hoping to hear some constructive thoughts![/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>How do you do with horrible memories?

How do you make them stop hurting you in the now?

Trauma happened this year. How do I continue living?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I’m conflicted about reporting my sister’s situation to CPS, and I’d appreciate another perspective and advice on what to do next.

Background: my younger sister, Sarah*, has been with her husband, Jason*, for ~ 20 years. He is 10+ years older than she is, and she was a teenager when they met. Our family has never liked Jason, but we’ve tried to keep the peace for my sister and fear of alienating her. We saw the abusive behaviors starting to emerge when they were dating: poisoning her against us and isolating her from us and friends, control, etc. We knew it had to be her choice to leave him, so we tried to stay in her life as best we could.

In addition to the age gap when they met, Jason’s criminal history bothered us. In separate incidents, he had been convicted of possession of a firearm without a permit, disorderly conduct, furnishing alcohol to minors, and two separate incidents of assault (against two previous girlfriends). We didn’t know the extent of it when they married, but we did know about a felony kidnapping conviction (also an ex-girlfriend), for which he served time, and he said wasn’t his fault, and the whole world is against him — as usual. He’d also had dismissed charges of trespassing, disorderly conduct, burglary, and interference with a 911 call as part of the convictions above.

Shortly after they married, Sarah and Jason moved back to Jason’s hometown in another state, and they have three young children. I never visited them in all this time because Jason and I especially don’t get along, but my parents and other siblings made regular visits, and Sarah also started visiting my parents more, too, when she could with the kids, which might be once every 1-2 years. Jason has always been a deadbeat, never keeping steady employment in their entire relationship, while Sarah works two and three jobs to pay their bills. (He keeps up his delusions that he’s going to be a pro-league sports coach someday.) He is also an abusive father; between the physical abuse (which we only just now confirmed from the kids), the emotional abuse, and his toxic masculinity, he’s a grade A a-hole.

Now, the new story: last fall, my parents got a call in the middle of the night that Jason assaulted Sarah and their eldest child. (By assault, I mean nearly beat to death.) He was arrested and held in jail per their state’s statutes. Of course, my parents immediately went up there, and Sarah was finally ready to leave. (We had suspected physical abuse for a long time, but like most, she keeps secrets.) Because it was a domestic assault, CPS got involved and told her that if she went back to him, she would lose the children. Our family and friends all rallied, from taking care of all the legal stuff so she could leave the state before he was released, to installing security at my parents’ house before they returned, to getting the kids in school and therapy when she arrived, to even finding her a job when she was ready. They have been living with my parents since, who are also providing their primary financial support. With COVID and their trauma, it’s been a rough time, but we have been optimistic. She filed for divorce, and we were finally seeing some of our former sister return.

Jason was charged with two counts of assault and one for preventing a 911 call. When Jason was arraigned, the criminal court issued strict no contact orders. He immediately filed to have online visitation with their two younger children, which the court permitted with supervision. However, the court-appointed guardian ad litem petitioned to be removed from the case since the kids are out of state, and the court allowed Sarah to supervise the twice-weekly calls.

This is where things start to fall apart. He used those calls to basically talk to my sister, and the manipulation game began again. He started breaking the court orders in other ways, too: closing their bank accounts, changing passwords to online bills, and sending the kids gifts. He finally made a big production (via social media) about going to rehab, which we found to be  some fake “poor me” camp, for a few weeks.

When he was discharged from there, things really started to escalate. Sarah started becoming even more secretive, and what little we did learn from what she shared about their divorce proceedings seemed like really, really bad advice. (We later found out via photos from an acquaintance that her divorce attorney was caught fraternizing with Jason at an event.) Jason was also calling and texting at all hours, and when we pressed her about the no contact orders, she said they filed to have them revised, and this was all authorized. We know it’s important to let DV survivors have control and not to issue ultimatums, so we took her at her word. Jason had gotten a job (for a few weeks, before he was fired) and was sending her money, which was a major issue in their marriage, and she said she was only interacting with him because of that. She also stopped the kids’ and her own therapy, which we hadn’t realized.

Big mistake. Our alarm bells started screaming when we found out Jason was coming to my parents’ town to visit the kids, and they would all be staying in a hotel. Sarah said this was all okay, but we smelled something rotten. We did our own research and called the court and attorneys in both states, and we learned the no-contact orders had NEVER been revised, and so he had been breaking them this entire time and Sarah was lying to us about it. By the time we confirmed all of this, he had left, and so our local CPS and police department said there was nothing they could do if he was no longer physically there since the case originated in another state. So we started documenting as much as we could and have been waiting these last few weeks.

However, this all came to a head these last few days. Sarah said she was taking the kids to see Jason and his parents in their hometown for spring break. We knew the no-contact orders prohibited this, so we finally confronted her with it the day before, and she LOST HER MIND, accusing of some some “agenda” and how we’re controlling her, etc. We know this is just his manipulation of her, so we didn’t engage in the fight she was starting, and she left mad with the kids. We hadn’t heard from her since.

We have been sick with worry the last few days about the kids and their safety, so I called their local CPS office and asked for a wellness check on the kids. They had the whole backstory already, and by the end of the day, they had notified police and had Jason arrested yesterday. He’s currently sitting in jail waiting to be arraigned, and the prosecutor let us know this will be in addition to the criminal charges already pending in the original incident from last year. He said Sarah was uncooperative, and he absolutely sees what’s happening re: Jason’s manipulation; he indicated that, if he has to, he’s prepared to put their eldest child on the stand to testify.

Sarah still has the kids for now (that we know of), although we’re expecting and prepared for CPS to remove them, at least temporarily. We’re worried they’re going to give them to HIS family, who have enabled Jason in everything, and we’ll never see them again. She is furious with us — especially me, since I called CPS — and says we’ll never talk to them again, we’re the ones who went around the system (not her), and all the textbook abuse-speak Jason has poured into her for 20 years. She also says we’re hypocrites for having a relationship with our parents. (Our dad had a drinking problem when we were growing up, and he’s been sober for almost 20 years. Our other siblings and I have also had a lot of therapy and conversations between us and with our parents, so we are in a much better place and have the relationships and boundaries with each other we need. And we’ve all worked damn hard to make sure we don’t repeat the cycle with our own spouses and kids. Sarah doesn’t see all of that because she’s lived in another state. She left, married this loser, and has been living in a dysfunctional family her entire life. She doesn’t know the difference.)

We know she’s humiliated, ashamed, angry, and terrified, so our family is still mostly unified and can handle what she’s throwing at us (not taking it personally). We see how she got to where she is, and we’re sad and still love her and would welcome her back with open arms when she’s ready to be done with him. But she’s not there, and we have NO IDEA what to do next. We don’t even know if she’s returning with the kids when school starts next week.

Were we right to call CPS? Should I have waited til the kids were back with my parents? We know we did the right things for the kids, but did we do the right thing for Sarah? WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!

TL;DR — I reported my sister to CPS, and they had her husband arrested and will be removing the kids from her care. We’re worried we’ll never see the kids or my sister again. What should we do?

Update: we have tried talking to the social worker at CPS today, and they won’t even tell us where Sarah or the kids are, who even has the kids, or if they’re okay, citing HIPPA. Is there anything else we can do?[/INST]Childbearing</s>",3
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I feel so incredibly trapped.

Two weeks ago I had an abortion and the day after I expressed I was upset he didnt ask how i was. He started the verbal abuse and its hard to remember what I had done so wrong. But I was in the shower and i said i wanted to leave. He put the shower head in my mouth and choked me after with his hands. He beat the sink with my hair dryer and cracked the porcelain. He needed to go another town and he calmed on the ride. Then I saw him texting his ex and idk I said that I knew it. We were in a woodsy area when no one around. He pushed my head to the center console and proceeded to punch the back of my neck. Almost home he said that when we get home he used to be the s*** out of me. I begged and pleaded that I would literally do anything. I fantasize about taking my pet and running to the nearest store. My car doesn't work and I didn't have a phone at the time. When we got home I took a shower again because Im only safe to cry there. I heard my pet crying. I got out of the shower to dry off and he brought my pet limp. He then held the back of my neck and made me watch punching my pet. he said that this was my fault. He grabbed a plastic bag and put it over his face. I disassociated because I believe that he was going to die. He threw him back in the cage and we went to bed. I had to pee and checked on him hurt but alive. That morning he was stiff. He made me put him in a bag and put him in the ground. His little toe was broken. I'm so scared I really don't know how to get out of this.




I originally moved in with three of my pets and they oddly died within two months. He kept buying me new ones and claimed if i left he bought them they were his. Drunk he admitted to killing all of them. And tries to apologize for brutally murdering my friend like its not completely insane


I was so sad to have to get an abortion but if i make it out my bean will never know the suffering they would have endured. I try to tell myself that much. I feel two huge losses. Im so weak to fight for safety. It all sounds so ridiculous i dont know if cops would even believe or be able to do anything for a rodent[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I don’t even know what to feel right to be honest but I’ll just explain my situation.

I recently just got out of a relationship that was only about 6 months long. I saw “red flags” very quickly into the relationship but I always thought, “oh well we are just getting acclimated to each other and building trust”. But the verbal and physical(?) abuse just continued.

He would say things such as...
“Why were you at the gym for an hour and half? Where were you?”
(Because I refused sex from him) “Do you touch yourself before I come over?” “Was someone here to do it?”
“Did you not get it out of your system?”
And so so so much more.

He was constantly accusing me of talking to other men or even doing drugs which I hardly even drink.
I would let him know how those things made me feel and he would try to manipulate the situation by saying that “he was allowed to ask questions” or “you acted like this, that’s why asked” or “I’m sorry YOU feel that way.

What I’m confused about is the physical aspect of it all...

He would grab my arms/legs/body while cuddling or sitting or just doing whatever and would squeeze so hard, that I had to tell him to stop. But I had to tell him to stop several times before he actually would let up. He bruised me almost every time he did so which was often. I showed him the bruises and told him he needed to lighten his grip. He didn’t.

On another occasion during sex, he began choking me (which I did not say I wanted). I couldn’t breath, I was pinned down, and I couldn’t talk either to tell him to stop. He got off soon after but I felt like I was going to pass out.

I’m just now realizing that this probably wasn’t okay? I knew that there was mental abuse but I’m trying to figure out my emotions when it comes to him being physical with me. I’m just not sure if it even was abuse and if it was, do I cry, scream, talk to someone?

I ended it just a few weeks ago and have been checking over my shoulder ever since because he is very unstable. I don’t think he’d do anything but I check to see if his car may be around and keep my blinds closed all the time.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>So, I've been considering for a while to grab money from our joint account &amp; run if I find somewhere safe to go. I have 2 kids and no car so it's not easy. I'm not worried about him having no funds. He works at the Gigafactory &amp; is well off. But he always goes on about how it's HIS money. Especially when I want or NEED to buy my first child anything. He does not like her at all.

Should I create my own secret account?
How much will the bank let me take or move?

Is this even possible?
I can't keep living like this with someone who hates my daughter &amp; I. But only loves his own kid.

Thanks in advance

My husband is 36
I am 28 ~Nonbinary
Oldest daughter is 8
Youngest is 5[/INST]Finance</s>",8
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My kids father and I got into a fight and I think he fractured my wrist. If I tell the nurse it was him what will happen? I think I’m just going to say I fell out of fear of cps. Even though I don’t live with him[/INST]Childbearing</s>",3
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I've been thinking about reaching out to someone about my domestic violence situation because I don't know what other steps to take and I keep reading that you should tell someone about your situation.

The problem is, theres only one person I think I could tell. They told me even though they were busy with 2 jobs I could take to them about anything or I could tell them if I was in a bad situation. This wasin the fall. The thing is, I tried to reach out asking for help a couple months later but they didnt respond and now I'm hesitant to do it again cause I'm afraid of bothering them. I said ""i'm having really tough time"" but they never texted me back.

around the holidays i contacted them to let them know i had been really sick and in the hospital and they said they were sorry to hear that and they were just really busy working 2 jobs so sorry they havn't been around.

I dont know what to do. I'm afraid of their mental health suffering if I tell them because its not like they can do anything to help me but listen. I feel like they have a lot going on and telling them that im being abused and have no clue how to get out of it will make their life more confusing and painful cause they cant do anything about it.

I honestly think they might be lying about work so they dont have to talk to me. they havn't initiated contact with me in like 6 months, its always me texting them like once a month and them replying back saying ""sorry, im busy"". they said they have 2 jobs and are working 16 hours a day. they said they cant text at work but i see them posting on social media at work. i dont know how many who work 16 hours a day 5 days week but maybe I'm wrong.

tldr: I just dont know what to do. I'm afraid of reaching out to the one person who i feel like i can actually tell about my domestic violence because I think they might be trying to be avoiding talking to me already.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My partner has ptsd from foster homes, abusive adoptive mother and ex partner experience. I had an emotionally abusive father who drank a lot.
~~I have had worse nights than this~~, but this isn't a picnic. This rates just under the worst night now.

Tonight, they screamed in my ear after drinking a bunch, and then told me the dogs tripped em and glasses fell behind the tv. I looked quickly, not there. I didn't even have a chance to say anything and immediately I didn't look hard enough bc I'm lazy and stupid.
(I work ft, they can't at all atm due to health issues even before covid. We can't afford dr bills for the needed treatment, and it's a vicious cycle.)
They yelled into each of my ears at dif times tonight bc I couldn't find the glasses they lost. Doesn't even matter they can't tell me when they last had them, only that I am at fault now and always. I'm ""garbage"", I'm ""a slob"", I'm ""lazy"", I'm ""to not be trusted""...

After I couldn't find them the first time, punching the couch in front of me while in front of me and yelling at me to go to bed was answer. I did.

Not surprisingly, not even 10 min later, they forgot the series of events as they occurred, barged into bedroom I cannot lock nor barricade and pushed me into the living room to look again...bc they had been waiting ""all night"". I'm balling, terrified bc I know I could end up bruised tomorrow and terrified of the person I love and trust.
Can't find the glasses still, looking everywhere I can, no luck. Being mocked and put down entire time but told that they need me bc they can't see. Now I can't see bc I'm crying so hard from my head and heart pounding from the yelling and pushing. I'm ""worthless"", I'm ""stupid"", it's all my fault, but they need me...they need me?

Can't find it, get pushed into kitchen on floor as I stood there hunched over protecting my face. Hit floor, head hurts, heart hurts, crying. Please don't hurt me anymore I start repeating over and over as I cry and beg for mercy bc I can't find something I didn't lose. I got lucky bc I think he recognized my pleas as similar to his past and he let me go back to bed to hide again.

I hate ptsd, I hate myself, I hate that if it wasn't for alcohol and ptsd and depression I wouldn't be here. And I hate that I make excuses...and have no friends other than my parents whom I won't involve in this mess more than I already have. I don't trust the police to not make things 10x worse.

Update: got pushed around to different rooms for over 2 hours tonight, broken things in the house and it looks like we were robbed with everything tossed. I was grabbed, pushed, dodged punches, strangled, and my wrists twisted. I think this means I need a divorce, but I can't kick them out, I don't want them to commit suicide over it, and can't trust the place to not get trashed if I leave. They threatened to burn it all at one point. And I still love them...?

Thank you for hearing me out. Any feedback is welcome, just please be gentle and understanding as much as possible. This is a tosser acct bc they know my other ones.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My 23yo son was at it again. He insults me, spat on me, calling me ""dog"" and more. He came into my room raging, spat and trashed my room. He threatened to break my things, laptop and other properties.


He went on from 12 to 4, not letting me rest. He threatened me with knife in hand and violates my privacy everyday.


I told him I'll ring the police and sought for an AVO, and he raged more. This on top of my depression, is not good for me. He often tells me to kill myself... 


I know no one cares one little bit cause I guess I brought it onto myself for bringing him into this world. I so regret it!


Happy new year... hope this coming year will be better for all[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I am a 32 year old woman married to a 41 year old man. He lost his job of ten years 3 years ago and hasn’t been the same. He’s bounced from jobs and was unemployed before the pandemic hit.

There was verbal abuse from the get go about 6/7 months into the relationship, that I did not recognize because I am a recently medicated bi polar woman. Everytime the abuse happened I had felt it was my fault because I was erratic emotionally. (But more sad or just energized) and it was hard to comprehend all of my thoughts.

Early in the relationship the first scary fight we had he kept screaming and getting spit in my face, cornering me in the room, not leaving me alone when I asked, Calling me a whore, and would not go away from me while I pleaded. and I hit him off of me. This was after our engagement party which was such a fun time.

I had felt so horrible and awful and abusive. Since then he calls any reaction to him abuse. And it has left me feeling like a monster, getting help, therapy, medicines, groups, meditating.

For years now the cornering, chasing me, yelling at me, barraging me, yelling with spit flying at my face, trying to bust down the door of whatever room I am in, wrecking a room of the home.. has continued. I constantly fear more serious damage will happen, and when I was unmedicated I thought about killing myself everytime we would fight. And I have not one time touched him since that one time. I have practiced so much new knowledge hoping something would change it.

I had considered myself the cause of this, the abuser because of the one time I hit him to get off of me.

Over the summer I got successfully medicated for the first time in my life. And thinking clearly is very easy now.

After some sessions with my therapist she told me he is being abusive. And she said it makes sense that I was trying to push hit away someone who is screaming at me while I plead to be left alone.

In every fight we get into, I end up just saying I want to be left alone over and over and over. And it gets intense until I run away to a room and lock the door. And sometimes that doesn’t work and he bangs on the door and mocks me for crying.

Sometimes the banging outside of the door harassment does not stop until I threaten to call cops, or call my parents and they drive an hour to pick me up.

I have tried so many self improvement tactics hoping that if only I could do something different it would change.

He is more soft spoken then me, has a more delicate frame than me. We are the same height but I’d definitely say people assume I am alpha in this situation. He never leaves my side. Doesn’t have friends outside of mine. And does not make plans for himself. He doesn’t make appointments for himself. Decide he needs a haircut. Floss his Mf teeth. I feel like I’ve had a bug on me honestly. Oh! And “I never give him enough affection... “

And wow. I have really been supportive during all of these transitions and taken on more bills. And never pressured him. Been patient in his job changes. I had continued to have sex with him regularly, made efforts to be sweeter. Tried to be so kind While working and cooking and taking care of us.

But with all of this constant fighting every morning every night and then going to work and coming home to someone who clings to me and then yells at me... I feel so unappreciated, and not seen.

I have been so alone in this. I had constantly thought I was abusive and deserved this.

This entire time I have tried to make sense and try and out logic the fighting, and I’ve finally realized it’s him.

He has not once done anything to account for the yelling or breaking things or chasing me. He apologizes only if he is caught by my parents picking me up. But whatever the fight that started it was always gets brought back up in the next fight. “Oh call the police again you love pigs” (I don’t you just made me feel so unsafe I thought you would hurt me)

I love him and our nice times. It’s not all bad. But none of that changes things. And the good times don’t make sense of the clingy ness.. and the mothering and the amount of caretaker he wants me to be for him .. this yelling / chasing/ forcing me from my home  is abuse. And I will not take it.

Our final fight happened and again my family picked me up. I talked to my therapist and we made a list of rules for me to return to the home for two days so I could be close to work. The rules are no talking about emotional things, just strictly house hold necessities. Sleeping in separate rooms. He agreed to them. I’m going to leave again for holidays and come back for work. And asked him to leave the apartment for a week or so, so I have time to think about all of this.

I have my cats (children) here and this is a beautiful apartment I worked hard for. I want him to leave (no job) and I want a divorce. I think we are beyond marriage counseling because he’s never recognized that he has ever been a part of the problem here.

He drinks I say something (a n y thing) and it becomes a full on blow out.

I would like to tell him I want him to leave with a mediator here.

So I was thinking a few weeks would be enough time for me to decide exactly what I need and not hastily.

I would like to separate apartments, and begin divorce process. I know he doesn’t want this. But he is unwilling to change. And I don’t want this anymore. I’ve been dealing with this for five years and I’m done. I would rather be alone.


Any advice? Related experience? Words of encouragement? Anything.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>To the one that broke your heart from abuse?

In my case, my ex was more emotionally abusive, though he grabbed my neck once and slapped me in the face.

I know it’s irrational to think of him lovingly, but am I the only one who has ever considered going back?

That was the leading reason we broke up. I still care for him. It’s been a year now. I know I sound crazy. I just want to hear others thoughts.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I met this person a little over 2m ago. Everything seemed so great until one night he unleashed his frustrations on me and hit me with a magazine in my nose. At first I swore I’d never speak to him again, and eventually a week after I started speaking to him. I realized he started blaming me for every little argument or disagreement we had, he always called me crazy, and I started to believe it. I found out I was pregnant and he’d call me a murderer for wanting to abort the pregnancy because I feel as if I’m too young and I feel like he’s too mentally unstable. I had moments in the past few weeks where I’d try to contact him thinking it really was my fault and that if I was quieter things would be better but no matter what I was always a problem. So fast forward to today, and I decided to file a police report about the incident of him hitting me with a magazine. Apparently he will be prosecuted or I’m not sure how it works out and I just feel terrible but should I really?[/INST]DV report procedure/Documentation</s>",6
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I had a week off work at the end of November 2020 due to injuries that he had given me. I was late to work one day at the end of December due to his need for me to stay awake with him on a night. I needed a day off a couple of weeks ago as I had just started prosecution against him and I’m tired af and stressed af. After I took that day off I was informed I’m on sickness monitoring. I have just taken the weekend off because I’ve had more time with police and done another statement about him contacting me again (breaking bail for the second time in less than two weeks). I’m scared to go back to work because they seem to have no patience for my time off. I don’t want to lose my job. I’m already in so much debt because of him.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I went across the country to be safe from my abuser. He was so manipulative and narcissistic. I am so proud of myself. But it was over 28+ of time with driving, hotels, stops for gas. And pain and aggravation. I made it 12/23 late afternoon. I’m still trying to get myself back together. I am still grieving after the loss of everything (home, relationship, independence, money, and just not knowing what’s next). I’ll be staying with mom for awhile until I can get back on my feet.  I have unpacking to do still. Still adjusting to new time zone and new life down here. I have connected to a DV organization to help me get back on my feet as I get through this adjustment and terrifying time. I just want words of encouragement or advice from anyone who has done any of this etc. I’m just trying to stay strong.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My husband is my abuser and sexually assaulted me. I already had to face him once in court and he looked CRAZED and that was at the order of protection hearing. Now we are getting divorced and I will have to face him idk how many times. I had nightmares about him almost non stop since i got the order and I'm terrified of what will happen when it's over. We have 2 kids together so I cant just cut him off. I feel so weak and like I cant do this. How do I face him in court?[/INST]Legal</s>",2
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>It absolutely astounds me when the abuser goes on like the victim. Like THEY were the one getting abused. Speaks volumes... don’t you think? How frustrating.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Yesterday, I was cooking lunch for my 2 kids and 2 step kids while my partner was napping on the sofa. Basically he woke up grouchy and he threw his shoe at me from across the room. For context, he got up and went in the kitchen where I was cooking and told me I’m ruining the pasta - I wasn’t, it was cooked absolutely fine. He didn’t like that I told him that because it was ‘back chatting’ and he’d had enough of the kids doing it all day so he snapped. The thing is he did it in front of all 4 kids and narrowly missing my 1 year old son. I’m not sure if I’m just overreacting in thinking that it’s domestic abuse? This isn’t the first time things like this have happened though. He’s never physically hit me. He’s grabbed me by the collar and rubbed a dirty nappy in my face, thrown things/smashed things and punched a hole in my wall. But never hit me. And for the record the shoe didn’t actually hit me or my son, it was blocked by the baby gate. I think I already know the answer to my question but I’m just confused and very lost and I’m not sure what to do.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Anytime I try to leave he always takes her away. I can’t take it anymore and I don’t wanna leave without her but I don’t know what else to do. I’d I leave her I’m scared what he’s gonna do, at this point I’m tired I just wanna give up on everything. I’m honestly starting to think this is what I deserve and it’s all my fault, I’ve started to internalize the things he’s says. I hate myself, I feel like a bad mother.[/INST]Childbearing</s>",3
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I don't know what to do when my husband gaslights me.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>So last night my husband was reading Calvin and Hobbes (which is great) to our daughter. They were reading for a while (which is great) but nothing was ""haha"" funny, just kind of funny. Then he got to this part where the mom says something like ""if it weren't for \_\_\_\_ I'd be choking you right now"" and my husband laughs about it.

The problem is about 10 years ago he strangled me and left bruises on my neck and face and chest and I was in pain for months every time I even swallowed water. Last night was perfect other than that. I didn't want to spoil the evening so I said nothing even though I found it very triggering and kind of bizzare on his part as I've explained to him that he can't make jokes about strangling people (he used to) since he HAS STRANGLED ME.

AITA for being so upset about it? And now it's the weekend and I don't want to wreck our weekend by saying something (he's a narcissist and so calling him on this would mean he's probably verbally abuse me and blame me for wrecking the weekend for all of us etc., it would mean a big fight).

&amp;#x200B;

UPDATE: On Sunday night, so that I wouldn't ""ruin the weekend"" I calmly brought up that I due to what has happened between us I am not comfortable with how he laughed at a comic where Calvin's mom threatens to strangle him. He ""what do you mean what happened?"" I said ""when you strangled me."" He said ""that was 10 years ago, I haven't thought about it since then."" I said ""well, I have because it happened to me."" he then went on to say he didn't strangle me because I could breathe and he was just holding me down so I wouldn't get up and yell and I replied that I couldn't breathe and I couldn't scream and that he left bruises all over my chin, jaw, neck and chest and couldn't swallow without being in pain for about  and he said ""you never had bruises"" and I said yes I did, and that that is called strangulation and months, then that went on for a little bit but eventually he did admit that that is strangulation and that that was a horrible thing to do and that it did happen and that he did do that. He then said he doesn't/hasn't laughed at people being strangled because that's not funny and he's not a sociopath. Then I reminded him that he came home from school one day and told me that this woman in his program was super annoying and that he was making jokes to his cohort that he was going to strangle her (and told me that and laughed about it) that at that time I told him I was not comfortable with him making strangulation jokes as HE HAS STRANGLED ME, and he said we never had that conversation (we did have that conversation)  but eventually he let that go and just kept saying he's never laughed at anything like that. I reminded him that he laughed when a character on the show Barry got strangled and on the show Homeland one of the characters strangles someone and he laughed again and he said I was being weird in bringing stuff like that up. I said it's not weird, it happened, and he replied that I'm strangely trying to keep track of stuff to be upset about so I replied that I'm not keeping track, I remember those instances because they were very jarring and difficult for me. He said he would never do something like that (he did). BUT WHATEVER.  I said fine, whatever, maybe I've misinterpreted, but we will never have to talk about this again if for as long as I live as long as he never laughs or takes lightly anything having to do with strangulation. He said fine, and that he got it. Then later he says to me that I have been holding a grudge. I said I am not holding a grudge, that this is a matter of personal safety, and what I feel isn't anger, it's concern for myself. I said he's a great husband otherwise, but I need him to be sensitive around this issue.

It seems we had a very productive, honest, good discussion and I feel the matter is settled. I actually feel really good about his responses. There was push back and denial and just blatant lack of memory (this is an issue in our relationship) but overall I think he gets it and will be respectful moving forward. He said he would be. I feel he was being honest and that there was a spirit of contrition in his reactions (after all the initial denials lol).

Thanks everyone, I feel like I couldn't have done it without you. It's hard to be in a place like this and always be second-guessing myself, your insights, feedback etc. has been very valuable to me.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My husband and I haven’t had the best time during my pregnancy. I’m 30 weeks pregnant and haven’t been able to let me husband back in the home for a week because of a restraining order. I want him to be there for the birth of our child in 9 weeks, I also want him around but my family is trying to keep him away from me and I’m still having anxiety attacks daily over the whole situation.

A few months ago I confronted my husband over where our money from our savings had went. He choked me in the hallway next to our bedroom during an argument about me wanting to know what happened to it and him saying it was none of my business and I’m crazy. He also broke my laptop and iPad a few days prior and I’m a graphic designer and we don’t have much savings anymore because of the pandemic we’re very strapped for cash right now and couldn’t replace them.

Last week we were in an argument because I wanted him to stop smoking so much weed and he called me annoying and said I need to be submissive.  Then he threw my wedding band out the window. And two days after that I was out on a two mile walk with the dog and when I got back he was in a mood and ended up hitting me several times as hard as he could in my right arm and biting me. I was so upset I called the police and now I regret it.

He suffers from PTSD and I have been trying to get him to go get treatment for it and his anger problems because 95% of the time he’s amazing. Romantic, nurturing, loving and helpful. He does things for me all the time without me asking. He’s the perfect partner 95% of the time. But being locked up together and both of us having difficulties during Covid lockdown has made us argue more then ever.

Currently there’s a restraining order and he can’t be around me until we can change that. But the court doesn’t want to make changes until the next court date. I need that to stop now.

Here’s my other problem. Because I went to the hospital that day my parents are extremely worried and because they are both retired they have been taking turns driving the two hour trip to where I live to keep me company. It hasn’t been that bad but I really miss my husband.

I’m having extreme feelings of anxiety everyday and have attacks where I have trouble breathing and start crying uncontrollably. My family is almost forcing me to give up on my marriage because of all of this and I’m not ready to. Because my father was a judge for over 30 years he’s delt with many many cases and keeps telling me it’s going to keep escalating until I’m dead or my son is hurt. He thinks my husband can’t change in enough time for the birth of my son and is doing a good job of talking to me about everything during this time. I tell him honestly how I feel and he explains to me that everything I’m feeling is normal and a lot of women go through this but he’s convinced my husband will always be an abuser.

Help. What do I do here. I love my husband... I love my son. I want to have a family with them but I also don’t want to be hurt anymore. When do I know if he’s had enough counseling?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Shit hit the fan almost a week ago now and I've been back living with my mom for 4 days. I only knew it was a matter of time before he contacted me. He sent a cute little message saying he's sorry, he wants to coparent, he wants to be united raising our baby, that he loves us- and for a second I second guessed my decision to file a VPO. I wondered if I did the right thing and if I had overreacted. I got scared because I knew once he was served he would be very angry and probably find a way to contact me again and threaten me. But then I had to remember that he put the baby's life in danger when he put his hands on me, and I had to remember that his abuse had been going on for a year and that there was always an apology and a love bomb at the beginning of the cycle. Had to remember that what I was doing was to protect myself, and my baby and that even though I had been desensitized to a lot of the abuse he was dishing out, I had multiple people that confirmed his actions were indeed forms of abuse. I'm just trying to remain calm, and unafraid, leading up to this court date..[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I was recently attacked by my now ex partner who choke dragged me from one room to another the continued to suffocate me. In which i honestly thought i was going to loose my life. We are over. The police are involved. Im scared of him.  But im desensitized to it when i talk to friends about the situation im very nonchalant where as they are really shoked and worried for me...

Im a pretty it is what it is person. But something feels strange that i just dont care to an extent i was attacked??[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>(I don't want to give out too many details because my friend uses reddit sometimes and may be on this subreddit.)

Long story short, my boyfriend was abusive recently; the police were called. I told my friend, and she ended up telling my family despite me begging her not to. I kind of threw her under the bus and made her out to be crazy to my family. When I made it clear to her that I don't intend to leave him (the abuse was during a mental health crisis, and he's getting help now), she started saying that I'm lying about the abuse and giving domestic violence victims a bad reputation. She was vicious.

I don't know if she *actually*  thinks I'm lying, or if she was just trying to get me to defend myself and say it was true so that she could screenshot it and send proof to my family. I basically just have to sit here and let her say that I'm lying in case that is what she's trying to do.

Her behavior doesn't make sense, though. She texted my boyfriend and said that he could go ahead and kill me now that she has blocked me and no one would know now (basically implying that no one will check up on me now that she's not talking to me). If she *really* thought that my boyfriend would kill me, she wouldn't say that - that could push him over the edge if he were really that violent.

My boyfriend and I are just trying to move on. We're both seeking help. She won't let it go, though.

I don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm better off because she's being abusive herself. What would you do?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>This is my first time coming to the internet for advice . i feel like i have no where else to turn to for support or  any advice without feeling like a burden ... I moved in with my boyfriend and its been great im starting the new year off well. He takes me everywhere since i dont know how to drive. Im trying to learn but he hardly teaches me . he says hes going to so that i can save money and not have to go to driving school . but still i havent learned anything. I wokeup him up this morning because he needed to take me to my doctors appointment. I tried waking him up by kissing him and gently rubbing his shoulder and he wouldn't move (hes a heavy sleeper) i told him wakeup you have to take me to my appointment so hes getting dressed and the whole time hes cursing and complaining about how hes tired of driving me everywhere. So i say okay fine ill just take an Uber.  and i walk away and he rushes towards me and slaps the shit out of me !! And says you just woke me up made me get ready for nothing ?! I was so hurt i left the house and called my ride . i have a bruise on my cheek and my doctor asked me about it . i told her and she asked me if i wanted to make a report and i said . i dont know what to do . i feel like this was my fault..[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My abuser throws out put downs in casual convo and I move on like it’s normal.
Example, he was asking me this morning if I wanted to go with him somewhere. When I declined he said, “ what are you going to do lay around all day tweeting about trump? You probably have someone you text about that stuff “ I didn’t even ask what he meant, just moved convo forward like it’s normal to say things like that to people.
He likes to insinuate that I’m cheating once in awhile. I feel so fucked up to be accepting this behavior. It’s embarrassing that I’m a strong person everywhere in my life but with him. With him, I’m a weak shell of myself. Fearful and self doubting. Trapped.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hi All! I (33F) have been married for more than 5 years and have a 3 year old. My marriage has been full of physical assault, sexual coercion, verbal abuse, and gaslighting. Me, my husband and daughter recently immigrated to a new country and lived with my sister’s family for a few months.
Once my husband and I got new jobs, the three of us moved out to an apartment near to my sister’s place. 4 days after moving in, my husband, started touching my body after I had said no. I said no again and removed my hands. He leapt over my sleeping daughter and struck me across the face. It wasn’t the first time he had hit me, but it was the first time in my daughter’s presence. I moved out with my daughter the next day and have been giving the situation a lot of thought. In the last 4 weeks since leaving the house, there have been no apologies. My parents and my sister also stood by me when I finalised my decision to separate from him. Once he received the letter from my lawyer he came crawling back, called my parents and other family members telling them he had made a big mistake and wants to reconcile. He has deceived me multiple times during the relationship, so I’m not falling for that. But unfortunately now my parents have been influenced. They say that they don’t like the guy, and that I should do what I want to, but they recently said hurtful things like, “don’t involve us, this is embarrassing for us”. I’m from a south Asian family, divorce is still a taboo, so I wasn’t expecting them to cheer me on, but is there some way to convince the family to stand by me? I’m a financially independent woman, I’m well educated, I got a decent job in the new country before my husband did, and I have been the level headed kid of the family. I have done what I was told to for as long as I remember. I feel betrayed right now, given that I have never given my parents any trouble, and this is the only time I’m “not playing by the rules”. I feel alone. Has anyone overcome something similar?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Thank you for providing this space and for reading this post. My mom is an immigrant from China and speaks broken English; she is 57 and has been a homemaker for several decades. My dad controls all aspects of our household's finances, so as far as we know my mom has nothing to her name. No car, no savings. Both my mom and I still live with my dad in Maryland, but I graduated from college last month and just started my first full-time job. From my savings and first paycheck I have $15k in my bank account. My older sister, who lives in England and has been working for five years, will help as well.

So far, this is our escape plan:

1. First we'll set up a secret bank account. My sister and I can ensure that the initial funds meet the minimum balance to avoid monthly fees, and we'll continue to contribute to the account every month. We're not sure if it's better to create the account in my mom's name or in mine.
2. We'll also secretly gather all my mom's and my legal documents: passports, Social Security cards, etc.
3. At some point we'll have to pack basic belongings without attracting my Dad's attention, and we can probably move into an Airbnb on relatively short notice.

What worries me is that my Dad has my checking account password, my savings account password, my card details, and my Social Security Number. He periodically withdraws money from my account, and I've always let him since I was afraid he'd get violent. I worry that even if I change all my passwords and take my legal documents when we go, he could still hurt us financially if not physically. How do I ensure that he can't track us down and can't access our accounts?[/INST]Safety planning</s>",7
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>How to forgive self for living what u lived.
For not asking for help when needed.
How to live now, knowing that u experienced severe domestic abuse?
How do you internally apologize self for what put self in?[/INST]Legal</s>",2
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I’ve been seeing my partner for nearly a year now and it keeps getting worse and worse
The hitting has increased. The abusive, gaslighting, manipulation and constantly demanding all of my energy... I’m absolutely exhausted and I can’t do this anymore
I’ve lost so many friends because of this person because nobody wants to be around me anymore
My best friend of 10 years distances herself entirely because she is ‘protecting her own energy’ from this
And I feel so isolated and like I can’t reach out to anybody
Every time we break up I have an overwhelming amount of separation anxiety and I just run back because of the trauma bond
They have even admitted themselves that they know there is a trauma bond between us
They are a really really intense stalker, harasser as well
They create profiles and emails and additionally works at a centre for the national post office so they can access everyone’s private information like address and phone number
I feel so sick and trapped and I honestly have no idea what to do, I feel like they could hurt me more if I left
Btw I’m in Melbourne Australia; every time I call 1800 respect they just tell me to leave them but it’s extremely difficult without any emotional support around me[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>So recently my son hit me multiple times, leaving me with a big black eye and bruises on my arms and legs. The black eye will take 1-2 weeks to heal but probably not before my sick leave has ended. What do I say to the people at work when they ask about it?[/INST]Wound assessment/record</s>",5
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>*tw- violence

Throwaway for obvious reasons.

I was in a short-lived relationship that ended in a violent episode where my x choked me twice before leaving, once resulting in my passing out. After the episode he left and unknown to me, filed a police report claiming we had a fight but stating he wasn’t injured and didn’t want to file charges or do anything. The officer noted he wasn’t injured. In my state, if he was, they would have immediately come to at least talk to me and probably arrest me. Nothing happened and I wasn’t even aware until 5 days later that he had taken any action. At the time, I was stunned and in shock that this person had tried to kill me and it took me awhile to process the gravity of it so I didn’t immediately file charges. I went to three intense trauma therapy sessions in the span of five days to try to process it. My x had been staying in my home and had some expensive items delivered after the incident so on the advice of some lawyer friends I reached out to him to let him know these items had arrived. He never answered me over the weekend and the following Monday went to family court to file for a temporary order of protection. In my state anyone and everyone can be granted a TOP.

The order was complete fabrication where he contradicts his own report that he made with the police. When I was served the sheriffs advised me to go and file criminal charges, as I was bruised and visibly injured. So I did. The fact that he’d make such grandiose false claims made me incredibly fearful of him and what he was capable of. I felt like I was dealing w a true sociopath. The results of these actions are that there’s a criminal trial again him and a civil action against me.

So now the civil trial is coming to a head. Given that he’s a defendant in a criminal case, everyone expected him to let the family court order against me expire because having him testify to a fabricated story on the record can and will be used against him in criminal court. I have an attorney who has met with his “victim” advocate multiple times and while she agrees with my attorney that this was filed to try to intimidate me and because abusers try to blame-shift, she can’t compel him to not to force a trial. So a trial in this family case awaits me and a criminal trial in the charges I filed probably also awaits me.

I haven’t seen him since the incident. The trial will be on zoom but despite this, I am terrified. Truly terrified. He’s coming out with these clearly doctored photos claiming injuries and I will have to relive that day in his presence again in order to refute his nonsense claims.  I will have to sit there and not react to obvious lies and fabrications. I will have to try to remain calm as this person who tried to kill me lies repeatedly. I will have to contain my fear so I can speak my truth. And I think he will enjoy seeing how terrified I am. I truly do. And I think seeing me will increase his obsession with me when all I want is for him to forget I ever existed.

I’m not really looking for advice. This person tried to kill me over a very short relationship ending. I guess I just want to say that this is why victims don’t come forward— the pure terror of having to relive the terrible incident over again, having to be non reactive  to false claims made by someone who tried to end your life, having to deal with a legal system that allows this shit to go on. Having to deal him potentially winning in a court where the burden of proof is much lower and him reigniting his feelings about me. I understand why anyone and everyone should be able to file for these orders. But this tactic by abusers to try to paint themselves as victims is disgusting and should warrant criminal consequences in order to deter them.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>15 months after we broke up, he came back. He sent a message on Christmas day saying he wanted to talk. I didn't respond, I only saw the message more than a week after, but 2 weeks after I did. We spoke over the phone and he said he hasn't moved on albeit trying so hard.

He saw therapists the whole time so he says he has changed, a different man and he wants to show me that changed man.

He apologized, saying he was disgusted to who he was, sincerely sorry for the pain he has caused, ashamed of what he did to me.

He said it was embarrassing that he only found out he needed help from the psychiatrist at his age (mid 30's), it felt naked having to tell them all, the family he was accustomed to was violent.

I said No. It's over.

Then I saw a Tinder account, two pictures are erotic sensual photos clearly taken off online, last photo was his body - no head. I was sure it was him because the moles, the stance, the background was undeniably him.

My fake profile matched with his. His profile wanted to see me in person. To hang out at some bar. After telling me I was the only person he wanted to be with, I was livid to find out about this.

He admitted it was his photo, but it was a photo he sent to someone 7 months ago. He denied it was his profile.

It was just chaotic. I am tired of the shitshow he creates and brings. I blocked him again, hurt again. I saw my therapist again.

Why does he keep coming back? Why does he make me feel in pain? Does he not want to just live a happy life, sans hurting somebody else's?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I left my husband last week after I noticed his behavior changing since I began struggling financially. When we dated he had gotten on top of me and covered my face so that I couldn’t breath, physically restrained me, and threw me onto the floor all on separate occasions. When I left that time he tried to sue me for rent money but the case was thrown out because I had photos of bruises.

His behavior the past couple of months started escalating where he’d put all his weight on me and wouldn’t get off unless I gave him a kiss or if I tried to shove him off he’d say I was being aggressive. He is now harassing me about rent money (I’ve gone no contact) he sent me a ridiculous agreement to sign and I told him I’m not signing it because first off I have no money due to him financially draining me, it also said nothing about removing my name from the lease (yet he wants me to send my key back), and that I left for a reason I don’t care if I’m legally bound to the lease and if my credit gets screwed up, I want nothing to do with him or the apartment. I knew after I left he’d begin with stalking behavior which he has never had an Instagram but the other day it suggested I should follow a new account that has his specific nickname. I was also walking my dog when I saw a car slow down and then speed up that was just like his, I couldn’t see the license plate, but my mom was able to find the clip on her Ring. After I refused to sign the agreement he included in his response “we will see what the judge says this time with my photos and evidence”. I dug my nails into him one of the times that he refused to get off of me and he took playfully took photos, the other evidence is when I was going through a miscarriage and swatted my hand at him after him telling me I can’t have kids because I’m cursed by God and that I’m going to hell, he began filming me saying I attacked him and was crazy and a demon. This is what I’m most nervous about because I did attempt to backhand his arm when he said this.
The night before I left the final straw was him blocking me from leaving a room twice and then claiming I pushed him when I squeezed past him to go lock myself in the other room. I could see he was trying to force me into positions where he’d say I was abusive when I tried to defend myself. He’s always said if I ever call the police on him he’d claim he was acting in self defense. The week before I left he thought it was funny to point a loaded AK 47 type of gun at the cats, when I asked him to stop he said the safety was on and that they liked it bc they were sniffing it.

I really don’t know if any of his behaviors will matter in court but I did not attack him in the way he is making it sound. I am not the abuser and the last time I tried to get a not contact through my school they retracted it after he called and said I was just trying to get out of paying rent money. I have spoken with an attorney and am getting a no contact order but I know he will try to bring this up against me.

Advice in this would be much appreciated, I’m terrified.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I [f30] left him [m33] about a year and a half ago, but I’m still at times processing what was done to me. Most who are close to me know that something violent was going on behind closed doors, but nobody knows the extent of danger and fear I was in for so long. I have a couple of friends who have been through partner violence in some way, and both of them were a huge support to me, but how do I make my other loved ones understand that some of my healing will take time if they haven’t been through it themselves?

How do I make them understand that it wasn’t a few isolated incidents, I was essentially living inside a psychological thriller for nine YEARS. That I may be thriving now, and moving on in so many ways, but on days when the abuse I suffered gets to me, can you just let me fucking have this day?

What results is this distance from everyone I truly care about. For the most part, they don’t know or can’t appreciate the severity of what I went through. Some have told me they don’t want to know specifics and I fully respect that it’s hard to think of someone you care about in danger. But I could’ve been killed so many times. I was close to being murdered a handful of times. Only my chance or his choice saved me. I went home each night not knowing whether I would be coming out in the morning on my feet or in a body bag. I know these things and some of them don’t.

I’m doing ok now, but just, sometimes it’s on my mind and I find that to be perfectly reasonable given what I’ve been through. I give myself time to be sad about it because I know I went through a hell of a time. I also know that when I give myself that time and care I get a little bit stronger. I learn something new. I become less upset by it. I wish my loved ones could support me through this, but I feel like I have to have all my most important healing moments behind closed doors while keeping up a facade of happiness to my loved ones. It feels eerily similar to what I used to do when I was going home to a beating, rather than going home to a good cry and some self care rituals.

So, how do I do it? How do I make people understand both the depth and gravity of what I was going through and the additional time it’s going to take me to be “moved on” from it? Any stories, anecdotes advice or support helps. And thanks in advance![/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My children and I made our escape from our abuser last year. Even though we escaped it seems impossible to stabilize. I filed for divorce. I was able to get a permanent protection order for myself.  I currently have temporary full custody. I got us into housing. I have temporary orders for spousal maintenance and child support. He has continued to stalk us even with the court orders that are in place. Last week I was presented with a surprise court order requiring me to pay the $1375 that my soon to be ex-husband was originally ordered to pay for a Child and Family Investigator. I already paid $1375 to cover my half but since he is choosing not to pay his half, the judge ordered me to pay it. I only have $700 that I can pay at this point. If I can't magically come up with another $675 the investigation will stay on hold. The CFI can not begin their investigation until they are paid in full. How can I manage to get us truly stabilized and fight for the children's safety after escaping from two decades of physical, emotional, sexual, and financial abuse? And where can I find the financial help that I need to get through this custody battle?[/INST]Childbearing</s>",3
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>This is the millionth time I've tried to write this.

I NEED resources ASAP. He terminated our lease, because ""I wanted him to"". I've planned out this move SO many times, and he has pulled the rug from under EVERY plan. Either he is doing something else, or he's upset I assumed he was doing something else. He says he's giving me money, but won't say how much or even when. I have TWO weeks left to find a place AND a job in Illinois. My oldest is on the spectrum. I have to do this structured. I keep being told moving companies offer help, but the ones I called say it's someone else that does it.  WHO does that? Do you know of ANY remote jobs out there that aren't scams? I estimate needing to gross 3k to pay rent. My kids are picking up on my stress... I've BEEN homeless before. It took a whole decade to get where I am now, and this whole thing is so triggering. He's using my success as a survivor as a weapon. He laughed when I cried about having to leave everything I've worked SO hard to build. I have NO help, and yes, I did a GoFundMe. Unfortunately, having to avoid identifying information made it go over like a lead balloon. My brain is so fried from all the added stress I can't think straight..  I'm at the end of my rope. Please. Any helpful advice or encouragement. I'm tired.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>If you've been reading my posts you know what I've gone through to get where I am right now and it has been a long a hard journey. But I've made it this far and I'm really proud of myself for making it this far. However, I'm not out of the woods just yet.

My abuser somehow got a plea bargain for his case and gave me a phone number to call to tell the person that I would like to drop charges on him in which he will be home in a month or so.

I don't want to call the number. I refuse to do so because, in the past 2 weeks, I learned what he did to me was not normal, that it was abusive and insane and just generally dangerous for me as a person. If I call and drop the charges then I would be in much bigger danger than I was before. In the past 2 weeks, I learned how a normal relationship is supposed to function and how partners are supposed to treat each other. I also learn his intentions, what he was doing and why he was doing it. So I refuse to let myself fall into that trap again. I refuse to allow my dogs to have to go through animal abuse again.

I guess what I'm trying to ask here is what should I do now? Should I file a restraining order? My friend suggested that I should file a restraining order. His court hearing is tomorrow at 9 am and he may get a lesser sentence than what was originally given to him and I'm scared that once his sentence is over he is going to just come back in my life and I would be abuse once again. I have reached out to local support groups. I have close friends and family who are just a phone call away, but right now I am by myself. I am living alone in my current apartment complex that he knows the address to and how to get to. I am honestly scared for my life. I am making that change and taking that step to heal but I feel like it's not enough...[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My ex and I started seeing each other a couple months back. I have a 10 year restraining order on him, yes I know. Stupidity and loneliness and 2 failed dating attempts opened the door up for him. The day after Christmas we had a fight where he ended up dragging me about 15 ft by hair, ripping chunks of it out. He also held me down and put a pillow over my face to stop my screaming.

Before him I had beautiful hair and used to get many compliments. That never happens anymore. Ever since he’s pulled it out the first few times, it’s much thinner and has become a great insecurity of mine.

I feel awful about myself and why I could be so stupid to let him do this to me again. I had made it almost a year no contact with him. My hair had partially grown back and looked more normal just for him to rip all of it out worse than he ever has before. Thankfully my scalp did not bleed or scab so I’m hopeful some of it will grow back. But it’s awful, I can feel the coolness on my bare scalp when the wind blows and I keep obsessing whether or not it’s visible.

The worse part is that I still love him and care for him deeply. The cops were called and I cooperated. Now he is in jail for violating the ro, felony domestic violence, felony assault with likely bodily injury, and felony possession of ammunition by prohibited person.

I have cooperated with police, but I’ve also accepted his phone calls and wrote him emails. I know I’m fucking stupid. I don’t have much hope. He will probably get out soon thanks to covid. I do miss him and worry about him but I’m so angry for what he’s done to me again. I didn’t do anything to deserve this except hang out with him.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>TW: drug use, violence

I have a friend whose abuser is staying at her place and it’s been really tricky getting him to leave. Quick background: he was arrested a couple months ago for breaking into her house and destroying a bunch of stuff. He was released from jail but was given an ankle monitor and a No Contact order. He had a serious health issue come up, and somehow (not sure the details) manipulated her into taking him in and taking care of him. He’s better now, but still at her house, and apparently using heroin. She needs him to leave but he is violent and mentally unstable so she’s scared to set a boundary and kick him out... and with good reason. Dude is scary, can confirm.

I reminded her that she has a lot of people in her life who would call the cops if they knew he was at her place. She is afraid to let most of the people in her life know that dude is at her house for this reason. She is afraid that she will get in trouble because she consented to having him come into her house again (though we all know how manipulative and threatening abusers can be). There’s also the fact that there are illegal drugs in her house, even though they aren’t hers. She also is a single mom to two teenage kids. Basically I’m helping her figure out if it’s going to backfire on her if someone called the cops to get this guy out of her house. Does anybody know if this would be a safe option for her?

I am basically the only person she feels safe talking to right now because I promised that I would only call the cops with her consent. I was in a very similar DV situation that I had to navigate without involving cops. So I want to respect that because she needs this lifeline and I don’t want to mess up anything for her.

Don’t want to disclose the US state we’re in on a public post, but if it helps I’d be happy to get into specifics over DM.

TLDR: will my friend get in trouble if abuser is arrested for violating no contact order if she consented to having him in her house to begin with? He also brought hard drugs into her house.[/INST]Legal</s>",2
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hey,
My best friend and mother of my godkids was badly assaulted by her ex at the weekend and during the prolonged attack (which was in-front of the youngest 2) he smashed her mobile and their tv.
She has an autistic teenage son and 2 young kids and cannot afford to replace the tv but it’s very important for them, especially the son with autism.
I was wondering if there are any charities that might replace broken items for domestic abuse victims?
I lost my job during first lockdown otherwise I’d just replace anything for her but sadly I can’t afford to do that right now.
Thanks in advance to anyone who can help[/INST]Shelters/ DV center/ Agency</s>",1
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hey everyone. My friend in japan has been communicating to me about this terrible physically and mentally abusive relationship she’s in. She has severe depression and anxiety and is suicidal and her boyfriend probably can’t handle it and he lashes out and hit her and chokes her and punches her and blames it on her mental issues. He has called the police on her before after he hits her and the police are fairly aware of the situation because they go to the police so often. The last time this happened was two nights ago on her birthday and she sent me pictures of the aftermath and I have never seen such deep bruising in my entire life. He called the police on her... idk why but even the police officers told her that it was her fault because she “promised” she wouldn’t have anxiety or depression anymore. He left her alone at the police station and was acting level headed so he could push the narrative that she’s the crazy one. I just want to know if you think people like this can change, or can their relationship change. I had enough of her calling me once a week telling me her boyfriend had beaten her so badly and then they go out to dinner and she thinks he’s magically changed and is fine. I’m genuinely scared for her because she has lost so much weight due to the stress and now weighs 85 pounds. It’s violence happens literally all the time and he called her after her birthday to say it’s not just her fault and she doesn’t need to be scared and he sent her a present and all of a sudden she’s back to believing he can change. Do you think this behavior can change? He doesn’t seem to want to do some aggressive type or therapy and laughs at his “mistakes” of abusing when he is at therapy. I just want your opinions because I’ve never been in a relationship like this but it seems so far gone that he has no hope at all. He honestly disgusts me.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I'm not sure if this would need a trigger warning or not.

Today, my husband came home after a morning out, screaming and calling me names, and making untrue accusations. I wanted to get away from him, so I went in our room and locked the door. I knew he was coming after me so I sat with my back bracing the door and hands dug into the carpet to try and keep it shut. He broke through and continue yelling at me. I went to the next open room - the master bathroom - and again tried holding the door with my back. Of course it didn't work, but I was scared and felt like I needed to try. He was still shouting but allowed me to walk past him. He was yelling from our kitchen, I stayed in the hallway and tried to take a picture of our broken doors before he could fix them. He caught me and shoulder checked me against the wall and grabbed my phone to keep. By this time, I'm telling him I need it back so I can call my parents to come get me. I don't know how, but somehow we made it from the hall into the kitchen and he is yelling that he will call my parents and I can wait outside and have my phone back after they arrive etc. That was no dice for me, so I tried to get my phone out of his pocket (dumb, i know) and he shoved me down to the ground screaming at me and telling my kids inappropriate and untrue things to try and turn them against me. I called the police.

I feel stupid because all I've got is a bruised shoulder and some scratches or something on my back - it was such a mild thing to call over. He tried telling the police I was abusing him in the altercation, but I never shoved back or anything, maybe pushed a little to try and prevent a fall? It's a blur honestly. The police officer told me to call the prosecution in the morning to let them know if I want to press charges and...I'm frozen. I don't know what to do. I can't help but feel like I'm betraying my best friend if I do. I can't help but feel like what he did wasn't actually abuse and I'm just overreacting. Here I am, laying in our bed cuddled up to his pillow and wearing my wedding ring as well as his, missing him and wishing he was here to hold me.

I don't know what to do. I'm trying to remind myself that two nights ago he shoved me off our bed and ripped pages out of one of my book and threw them on me while shouting and name calling. Then after he was done, and I couldn't move from fear, he picked me up off the ground and held me and told me that he didn't mean to and he could never hurt me, etc.
I guess since he has never and doesn't hit me, it feels like it doesn't qualify as abuse, if that makes sense. So many people go through so much worse, maybe I'm just the boy who cried wolf.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do, and every hour that gets closer to the time I have to call is agonizing because I know I still won't have an answer. What if calling was the worst mistake of my life?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>What great advice do you have for those currently in an abusive relationship, for those planning to leave, or for those that have just gotten out of an abusive relationship? Maybe the advice/information was given to you by someone else, maybe you came across it online, or maybe you found out the hard way. Let’s inform and empower each other!

Me? I have been in an abusive marriage for 10 years and I’m finally getting ready to leave. About two weeks ago, my husband was using my Facebook on my iPad to access Facebook Marketplace. He doesn’t have his own account. I had just gotten to a place where I had decided to leave and was going to tell my closest friends. That’s when I realized that I had all my texts and iMessages going to both my phone and my iPad. I quietly turned that feature off, told my friends not to use Facebook Messenger to contact me anymore, and deleted our Messenger conversations. This could have unknowingly put me in a very dangerous position and it had never even crossed my mind.

So, what about you?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Me (20F) and my boyfriend (30M) have been together for 2,5 years now, living together for 2 years. I originally posted this on another page, but got send here. I'm sorry for some grammatical mistakes, my English isn't that great.


Just a little backstory, my boyfriend has always been a bit of an aggressive person, not really like fighting, but he gets mad pretty easily. He used scream at customer service people, whenever a company would made a mistake. It seems like he's taking these mistakes as some kind of personal issue. Since this gives some inconveniences in life, he started working on it and it actually got a lot better.

Lately my boyfriend and I have been fighting some more than we used to. Most fights are about pretty small things, like him always throwing his dirty laundry on the floor, instead of in the laundry basket. So when I tell him stuff like that bothers me, he says I'm his girlfriend and not his mom, so I shouldn't complain about things like that. This upsets me a little, because I'm not trying to complain, I just want to express to him that some of these things just bother me.

So skip to a couple of weeks ago, we had a big fight and we were both pretty mad. In fights I tend to go from mad to crying, when I realise that I don't want to fight. So I walked way and laid down on the bed to cry and calm down a bit. He walked right behind me and when I laid down, he started hitting me on the back of my head. After his fists hit my head a couple of times he left and I cried some more. Although my head did hurt for a week, it feels like it hurt me more mentally than it did physically. I tried to forgive him, but I'm just kind of scared of him now. Since that day I've been drinking a lot every day, because I'm just not able to proces it well.

Then this monday he actually told me I should leave, because he didn't want to be with me anymore, he got mad about me not wanting psychical contant in thse last weeks. After he said that, it seemed like he changed his mind and wants me to stay. So we decided to talk about everything that happened, which brings us to today. I told him that I'm not sure I'll be able to forgive him for hitting me, because it still hurts me a lot mentally. He said sorry for hitting me and told me he won't ever do it again and that he just lost control. I'm really unsure about what I should do, because I love him, but I'm just having a really hard time dealing with this mentally.


Does it get better and will the fear go away? Is it likely that he will do it again? Will I be able to forgive him in time?


I'm sorry if this isn't the right place for this post, I don't want to offend real victims of domestic abuse by posting my story here.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Does anyone know of a PTSD online clinic? Therapy? Treatment? I’m desperate but still can’t seem to leave him. Even after the incident December 4th.
Simply put, he’s a malignant narcissist held hostage at gun point by him, even shoved it in my mouth.   He’s a “thug” if you will.  I kept trying to escape over and over, and he would just body slam me down multiple times until my head was just bleeding everywhere. At the end of of it he asked me to get in the tub... for easier clean up. But he realized I’m too important in the area to go missing... than he switched back into this “remorseful” guy after he saw my head bleeding profusely And I didn’t report it, I took him back and I’m just in a fog since than. I’m self medicating with dope that he introduced me too.  I’m willing to what it takes but I’m not sure his reaction.  I don’t want to be with him. But I just pretend. I’m submissive now[/INST]Healthcare information (counselling, psychiatrist, doctor etc.)</s>",10
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Idk... i can’t stop crying I don’t even know where to start so I’m just gonna list what he did last night and what he’s done before...
he said he loved me I’m so confused... it hurts

He got upset because I was texting a coworker flirting... told me I was a hoe and a bitch and to get the fuck out at 3-4 am while I’m drunk...
- he found his address and threatened to find the guy and hurt him
- he hit me in the head
- grabbed my face and threw me around
- when I locked myself in his car he pulled my hair from the window
- I begged and begged and said I loved him to let me stay he said he doesn’t give a fuck and to get out I’m not wanted
- he let me sleep until I was sober enough but then left on the couch took all the blankets and pillows and left me there and said I didn’t deserve a blanket

Before last night

-Kicked me out his house numerous of times

-He choked me and hit my head against a wall

-He put a gun to my face and made me call my friend on FaceTime to see how much of a whore I am

-Threw my phone and purse out and say I’m his and I’m not going anywhere

-Said he could make me disappear and no one will ever see me again

- Straddled on top of me and took both of his hands and choked me until I blacked out

-He laughed when I woke up gasping for air

-Threw my phone on the floor and his and said if I touch either one I’m dead

-He’s thrown his dog across the room in front of me and kicked her repeatedly and made me watch

-Reached his hand in my car grabbed my neck and choked me

-Slammed my shoulder against my car door

-Knocked me upside the head

-Left marks on my neck that will probably scar and burn because of how hard he was choking me

-Made me call male friends to end friendships and block them

-Shot at my friends building while I’m in the car

-Made me tell My friend at the gas station in person won’t see him anymore and steal from the gas station

-Poured lighter fluid all over my clothes the night before work


I feel so pathetic and like trash. Like I’m nothing. I cried and begged I made him food. I feel so dumb.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I have a downstairs neighbor who is ((at the VERY LEAST )) being emotionally abused by her husband.  He yells at her and their children almost every waking moment--I know, I work from home now...He also slams every door in his house CONSTANTLY which doesn't really bother us upstairs but I know that slamming/throwing things is usually a sign of escalation.

I can't just sit idly by.  It is literally not in my DNA...How can I help?  Even now, he has been yelling for HOURS.

I gave her my phone number recently when he left one day and I heard him screaming about it so I think that he found it or she told him?  I hope that's not the case...

I'm not sure what to do...[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Tonight he was really high. I lost a patient today and was a bit upset and he wasn’t okay with that I guess. He hit me and shoved me and choked me and I was so scared. It has never been this bad before. I don’t think I have ever been so scared. He was talking about killing me and himself and he’s asleep now and I’m so tired but I’m so afraid to fall asleep.

I told a friend and asked him to call the cops if I didn’t check in but I backed out and asked him not to because I was so scared. I know it’s not my fault, I’ve read all the stuff and my friend tells me it’s not but it really feels that way. I don’t know what to do anymore[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My boyfriend and I just moved into a new place this week, a two-family home split straight down the middle, with several roommates (who already lived here). Tonight around 6 p.m., my boyfriend and I heard respectively, “can anyone hear me” and “help me”, but somewhat muffled and neither of us could tell where it was coming from or whether we heard it correctly. There was a ton of screaming so my boyfriend ran outside but no one was there and after that we didn’t hear anything else. We had no way of knowing where it was coming from and if we heard correctly, and this would be a terrible neighborhood to bring police into on vague accusations of harm. We decided to keep an eye and ear out for anything else - I’m not sure if we made a mistake here.

Around 1:30 tonight we heard two women arguing, mostly what sounded like the woman from earlier. Lot’s of screaming. “I’m going to fucking murder you!”, and it really sounded like the woman who screamed around 6, but we don’t want to say we’re certain. However if it wasn’t her, there would have had to been four people there, because the third voice was distinct. That voice said “don’t do it dont do it don’t do it”. Extremely loud screaming. There was crashing and bumping and lots of noise, it shook our room multiple times -really intense. I heard a man’s voice - not yelling, so not distinct enough to know what he said - and some more movement and nothing since then.

I’m very frightened but also very confused about what is even going on here - what should we do? We didn’t know it was coming from next door earlier, and of course we cannot and would not just ignore this - but I’m terrified of endangering anyone’s safety by involving the police. I’m sure this is an incredibly delicate situation and I am really just terrified for whoever is in that house.[/INST]Police</s>",4
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My sister has been in a long term relationship with an abusive boyfriend for the last several years (maybe around 8 or 9?). She has a son by another man that is now turning 14. Our mom has told me for awhile about the boyfriend’s violent behavior, but he is always extremely nice to me and my sister never said anything to me. My mom is bipolar and can really escalate things and blow them out of proportion. I didn’t think she was lying, but I did think she was exaggerating some. I’ve asked my sister in the past and she’s responded with, “You know how mom is,” and told me I had nothing to worry about.

Tonight my mom called me with my nephew in the car. A fight broke out at my sister’s and the boyfriend attacked my nephew, then attacked my sister when she tried to break it up. My sister is 7 months pregnant. My nephew ran from the house, calling my mom to pick him up from the street in the neighborhood. My mind is really blown about the extent of this.

My nephew and I talked for awhile for the first time about this. He came clean to me about the abuse, which seems to be both physical and mental and both targeted at him and my sister. It’s absolutely unacceptable that this man is putting hands on my nephew and my sister. My nephew asked me to fly home (I live in another state) to talk to my sister. My mom would like me to come and stage an intervention.

I am planning on going in the next few days, but I’m unsure of how to handle the situation. As I said, my sister is pregnant and she’s not going to leave this man (although she is the primary bread winner in the family and could if not for the emotionally complicated piece of it), but my nephew is terrified and says he feels unsafe at home. I feel we need to protect him, but I also feel loyal toward my sister and her autonomy over her life and son. Finally, this man is not what I would call emotionally intelligent. He’s not going to see the error of his ways because we all come together to tell him how worried we are about them. I don’t think he’d agree to go to counseling or therapy either.

Does anyone have any help or resources? Should I hire someone qualified to help us with intervening? They are in California, if that is helpful. Please, if anyone has any advice, I’d really appreciate it! I’m worried for my nephew and want to help him in whatever way I can.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hello.

I am looking for advice on how to leave my abusive partner. I am mother to a 22 month old and a full time university student with virtually no money. I also signed a year long lease with the jerk and I co-own a vehicle with him because he doesn’t have a license (insisted on having the loan in his name). I am looking for any resources that can help me get out of this lease, find affordable housing and leave this guy. He also is the father of my daughter but, he’s a jerk to her too. He “fake” punches or kicks her and it’s really fucking weird. That was actually the start of many of our fights. Anyway - is there anyone in this sub that has had experience basically starting over with a toddler and no money?

I could get a job, I’m just so scared to have my daughter be looked after by strangers - and also covid-19.[/INST]Finance</s>",8
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I've called the police three times now, on my mum's husband for domestic abuse. But they won't do anything. Each time I report him, they don't go into it in detail. They don't even bother. The first time, a knife was pulled on my mum with death threats to both of us. The second time, he tried to choke me and after that, while I was calling the police, there was more death threats. The last time, which was about 2 days ago, he beat my mum so hard that she has dents in her forehead and under her eye, she also has a split lip, and he broke her phone in half. She's with me now (I live separately with my grandma and someone else, she lived with him and my 1 year old step sister but now she and the sister are here).

No matter how much I tell them, how much physical and verbal pain he gives, they won't do anything. Everyday I wake up I live with the fear that he might kill me, or my mum, or both. I'm only 17, and I want to get out, but I can't do anything. My college (UK) knows about this too, but there's not much they can really do - they have their own police too, but at this point I don't think going there will help.

I never thought that my life would end up like this, and if I'm being honest, I feel like I'm going to be stuck in this hell until he kills me.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I'm just now going through a breakup with a man who has been abusive towards me for about a year. I got pregnant by him... and so I moved in with him at his grandmas because I was overwhelmed about going through pregnancy and parenting all alone. Plus he has a close knit big family id also be able to rely on for baby care. Last night.. he got angry at me and it resulted in him picking up my cat and throwing her outside... I went looking for her but couldn't find her. Then later on in the night as I was packing all my things to leave and he said he didn't even throw her out he just put her in the living room but that he wasn't going to give her back he was going to get rid of her, then the next morning (I'm staying in a hotel right now) I went back to get her and he said he looked for her but she's gone. I don't know what to DO. How do you even deal with this. She was my BEST FRIEND. One of the closest cats to me I've ever had (raising her in quarentine). And now she's just... gone... and tomorrow I have to make the 4 hour drive back to where my mom lives. And she's just gone forever. I don't know what to do. How to feel. If what he did was illegal. If I can use that in court if he tries to take the baby when it comes... I just... I don't know.[/INST]Legal</s>",2
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Sorry for blowing up this thread but it feels like my one and only outlet right now. I’m tossing and turning. My heart aches yet I’m angry.

Right now I keep thinking about when they say you bring a monster out of them. What kind of bs is that?

If it’s true that he shut the door on me because he thinks I’m no good for him or he doesn’t like who he is around me- that’s bs. HIS actions are not MY fault. HIS choices are his alone. I loved him IN SPITE of himself. But I bring out a monster in him? So what he rather take the easy way out and ignore the root of his issue rather than work it out with me alongside him? Or just be with someone else until she figures out who he is and keep trading one person for another? If I’m not the one worth bettering himself over- then he can go to hell. He betrayed me in about a billion different ways. Karma can have him.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>We have been together for a bit over a year. Red flags from the beginning including knowing about his past. Wanted to believe him anyways. Emotional, physical. And mental abuse. With the majority of physical abuse involving choking me. He now is trying to force me to be poly because he claims it will be good for my depression oh and because I’m overweight. I don’t want to be poly and have brought up the fact that if he abuses her, he could go to jail. He didn’t care for that. And then he says he loves me and misses me when we aren’t together. But how could this be love. How can you be so cruel to someone who you say you love. We have swung with other couples, again something he wanted. But I have told him that poly was a dealbreaker fir me but now he says he needs it. That I have no choice. We have to do it. The idea of him kissing and loving another woman is like a dagger to my heart. I can’t handle it. But then the rational part of me thinks this would be a good way to try to leave safely. He made a comment last night that he knows we will die together, hopefully it will be when we are old. And laughed and said I misunderstood him when I mentioned that it sounded like a murder suicide situation. I guess I just needed to get this out.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Why do we attract these people is it because we are too soft or lenient with negative behaviour? Is it because we are too desperate im so fed up
 😞[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>(Lengthy) I’m 23 and my bf is 30. We met a year ago, started dating in august and in a relationship January. A couple of days before Valentine’s Day he blacked out on alcohol and attacked me. I explained in another sub the details of the incident. He left me with broken and bleeding nails, bruised back from pushing me down multiple times, punched me, pulled my hair and prevented me from leaving his apartment. The police showed up but we didn’t answer. Once they left he held a knife to his neck threatening to kill himself if I walk out. He tried to get to his safe where I assume there was a gun. I wouldn’t allow him to get to it because I was terrified. I stayed with him for the night because I couldn’t go home to my family in the condition I was in. The next day he blamed everything on the alcohol and begged me not to leave him. That he loves me and I’m his everything. If I leave I’ll be taking everything away from him. He began to lovebomb me with gifts and treats. Ever since this happened I emotionally checked out. he begged me for another chance. He blew up my phone and showed up to my house unannounced begging to make things right, so I gave in. A couple of weeks past and during an argument I brought up his abuse and he said “how long are you gonna hold that against me?? You know that wasn’t me it was the alcohol”.  It has only been two weeks and he expected me to forgive and forget before my wounds were healed. I told him he’s has an addiction and all he did was deflect to the only time I got sick from drinking, compared to the multiple times I took care of his drunk ass. I never met anyone who mixes Taylor port and Hennessy everyday all day and swear they don’t have a drinking problem. It was so disgusting to watch him drink. He didn’t understand why I wouldn’t talk much or have sex with him. He thought I was torturing him for no reason.


A few weeks ago my mom got terribly sick and I was stressed out. I wouldn’t answer his calls as I was busy taking care of stuff. He sent me an angry text and said “you act like I’m the one who got your mom sick”. Idk what is was about that one phrase that sent me through the roof. I told him we’re over and to leave me alone. Of course he showed up to my house unannounced and brought me a bag full of candy and a bunch of apologies. We had a short conversation when he realized I was serious he snatch the bag and threw it into traffic. He called me the next day asking if this is what I really want. He sent threatening text messages and says he has enough money to run if he does dirt. Yesterday he said it’s not over unless HE says it’s over. He really believes this relationship is able to be salvaged. He wants to talk to me in person but I refuse to because I’m scared. I’m exhausted and I’m not sure what else he is capable of. Especially since I’ve only started to get to know him a few months ago. I told him I won’t press charges but if it gets to that point I will have no other choice but to. I have not told anybody except Reddit smh. I’ve never endured anything like this.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Backstory: I (31 F) was diagnosed with PTSD by my psychiatrist in 2018 after the first major physical and sexual assault occurred in a relationship which ultimately lasted a total of ~5 years. Since the abuse began, I have been living a constant cycle of leaving, missing him, reconciling, honeymoon period, escalating abuse, calling police, restraining order/legal involvement and repeat. To complicate things, I began to struggle with substance use alongside my abuser (37 M). He would enter into several treatment programs alone, and although I desperately wanted to, he would not let me go get help without him and ended up admitting with me to treatment. He got upset with the staff and told me we were leaving after 5 days.

By October 2020, the frequency and severity of abuse reached a new level, I hadn't worked in a year, was an all day/daily user and was so isolated that the only person I had contact with was my abuser. In a single moment of clarity, I decided to give life one more try. I left, went to detox and immediately drove ""home"" to another state I had left 10 years prior to start over. My abuser was arrested within a week of my departure.

Now: I am working again at an amazing job in my career field, I am physically safe, have my own place. But I am not OK. My ex was released from jail in February, and since then, I have been spiraling and have reached out to him despite a restraining order and a no-contact order and him being on probation for 5 years for the assault (multiple offenses). I know I don't want to see him and I don't want to reconcile.

I have been on a waiting list for therapy with a local DV organization for four months. I have reached out to every crisis line, and several other organizations. I have health insurance and have reached out to therapists in the area who continuously refer me to the organizations I already reached out to or another therapist who refers me elsewhere. My symptoms are out of control, I'm starting to isolate, I have used, and I am not taking good care of myself. I don't want to do this again. I need to go somewhere safe and get better.

My question: does anyone know of or have first-hand experience with treatment centers equipped to handle DV issues, trauma, substance abuse and PTSD? I have good health insurance and the ability to take personal time off. I want to get better and move on for good. I have Googled endlessly with no real luck.

Thank you.[/INST]Healthcare information (counselling, psychiatrist, doctor etc.)</s>",10
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hi everyone, I just really need some support right now. I keep thinking this all can’t get worse and then the whole process just proves me wrong over and over again. This is gonna be long so if you have the time to read and respond, I would really really appreciate it.

So I’ve been going through the title ix process of reporting my ex for sexual assault for about 7 months now. I had the hearing over a month ago, got the outcome a few days later, and they were found responsible for only sexual harassment instead. They were only put on academic probation and have to take two short classes on relationships. Meanwhile, the conduct officers severely misunderstood almost everything about the case, believed everything my ex said over me, and ended up blaming me for the assault because they thought I initiated it all, even though neither I nor my ex said that. So naturally, after such a BS outcome, I decided to appeal. My university only gives three options to appeal:

1) The conduct officers did not follow the school’s hearing policy.

2) The outcome was not severe enough to match the violation.

3) There is new information available that could affect the decision made during the hearing.

I chose number 2 because I thought that would encompass the argument that my ex *should* have been found responsible for sexual assault. I wrote a 6 page appeal letter for the application and it was accepted a few weeks ago. I’d say about 90% of it was talking about why I thought my ex should have been found responsible for sexual assault.

Today, however, I had a meeting with the appeals board liaison, and she said that I have to really only appeal on the grounds that the outcome (probation and the two classes) was not severe enough for the sexual harassment charge, and that it I want to talk about how my ex should have been found responsible for sexual assault, I have to frame it under that somehow. Also, if the appeals board decides that there is enough evidence that the conduct officers made the wrong decision in terms of not finding my ex responsible for sexual assault, then the most they can do is remand it for a new hearing.

The part about having to go through a rehearing makes sense, but what does not make sense to me is that I couldn’t directly appeal the decision the conduct officers made about my ex not being responsible for sexual assault and all of the blatant mistakes the conduct officers made in misunderstanding the case, blindly believing my ex over me, and then blaming me with no evidence. There should have been a fourth option under the reasons to appeal for that. Now I have to basically find a way to wheedle my entire argument into another that barely even relates, and then possibly go through a rehearing, which the liaison told me today that my school has not allowed for a rehearing the entire two years she’s worked there, so the chances of that happening are slim-to-none.

I don’t want to go through this anymore. I definitely don’t want to have to go through another hearing. But I also don’t want to let my ex get away with this and let the conduct officers get away with doing their job so extremely badly that they think blindly accepting what the accused says is fine and that blaming the victim for their own assault is acceptable, because they’ll probably turn around and do it to the next person who reports.

Unfortunately, this is bigger than just getting justice for what my ex did to me now. I have to fight to not be blamed for my ex’s decision to assault me and also to protect the next person who reports so that it won’t happen to them too. And now I have to do it in the most round about way possible because my school doesn’t allow an option to appeal that they f*cked up.

I know this will absolutely run me into the ground and then some, but I can’t just lay down and give up now.[/INST]Legal</s>",2
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My sister is getting a divorce from her abuser but he filed first. We only notice because we looked up public records and there it was on the website. However, yesterday he had a family friend serve my sister, and the document is obviously False and they are trying to pass it as her copy. There's no official stamp,  its a response to a divorce, not a petition. On the court website it says a petition was filed. I can add pictures but have to edit out personal info. What can we do? I'm going to call the courts on Monday. Isn't this illegal? I believe they think we are stupid enough to accept it and do nothing with it, so he can get full custody of the children.
** Edit
They also  had a lot of mistakes like address and Name.[/INST]Legal</s>",2
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Two years ago today I left my abuser. I was 21, miserable, and scared for my life. I lived with him so i had to uproot my life with my two cats (my angels❤️) and while it was truly the best decision i ever made, i still feel the same way i did that day. Not sad, because i wanted to leave him for such a long time before i was able to, but just afraid. i spend every day afraid he’s going to lash out at me somehow, somewhere. That i’m going to run into him in public (we’re both from a small town, he doesn’t live here currently but could come back any day since his child is here) and he really IS going to kill me or hurt me again. That he’s going to post the naked pictures and videos that I’m sure he still has of me. I have nightmares where i can’t get away from him, i check every parking lot for his car before i get out of mine, i ask “who’s going to be there?” or “who’s there right now?” every where i go in fear of running into him. Him grabbing me by the hair and dragging me through the whole apartment, giving me rug burn all over my body, hitting my head into the walls and furniture before he threw me out in the snow in my underwear and locked me out there with nothing plays in my head in a loop over and over. the times i said no to sex and fought for a few minutes just to give up and lay there limp and pretend it wasn’t happening because he was bigger than me and was ultimately going to get what he wanted anyway replays over and over. the constant insults and threats he hurled at me “kill yourself” “if you don’t come home right now i will kill your cats “you’re fucking useless” “why are you so fucking dumb” “you’re nothing without me” play on a loop as well. i left the abuse and i still feel so trapped. our mutual friends didn’t believe me, he blasted me on social media calling me a liar repeatedly, I’m no longer in danger but i still live in such fear of him like he’s the boogie man lurking around every corner and i don’t know how to move past it. how do i stop living in fear? will i ever feel like myself again? when will my life stop revolving around the worst thing that ever happened to me? how does he continue to live his life unbothered with such a huge support system? why didn’t they believe me? i’m not even sure that i’m looking for answers here, but no one i’m close to has experienced this and as helpful as they try to be, talking about it makes them uncomfortable and i understand that. it’s just so unfair that someone could do those awful things and then just continue on with their life while i live mine terrified. sorry for the formatting and rant.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>We got married in 2020 after 3 months of dating (now, I can recognize some of the red flags, in hindsight) he ""love-bombed"" me for straight up 7 months. I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world, but when we started having financial issues along with other ones, he started being malevolent to me. Emotional, verbal, and physical abuse took place. My friends called the cops on him and he went to jail for one night. After he came out, he went broke, financially to hire lawyers, etc. There were orders of protection in place and other no-contact orders from the military (he works in the military) so we couldn't have a clear conversation and every time we tried some sort of third-party communication thing, everything went left. Now, he's vindictive, he deleted all of my pictures from his social media, hates my guts, is back with his ex, and had some other woman harrass me online.

I, on the other hand, can't seem to move on.  I spent most of my time romanticizing our broken marriage, thinking that we're still lovers (I know), hating myself for wanting him back, hating him for ruining everything, being scared that he's going to harm me as soon as the order of protection is lifted. Despite all of that, I filed for divorce because he wasn't doing anything; he was just keeping me in a limbo.

Why do I still have feelings for him? Why do I want him back? Why can't I just move on? Why do I blame myself for my marriage falling apart?[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I am struggling greatly with processing my situation. The grieving process is..... terrible. It seems like I am battling against anger vs severe depression vs hope every other hour. I’ll try to leave as little context as possible but that might not happen: his first time occurrence led to an arrest for assault. I believe I provoked him and we were equally responsible. The state issued a no contact order and movers were sent to move him out of our home the next day (which killed me.) As I am sure everyone in this group knows, rarely are these overturned. 5-10% to be exact. Over the first week, all I kept thinking was, “for better or worse.” I had lists of contacts and made countless calls and I actually got the DA to lift the no contact order. However, he will not reach out to me, whether because his family has convinced him it is a non-functional relationship or it is of his own accord I don’t think I’ll ever know. I thought it was worth giving him grace. After all, he had given me so much throughout the duration of our time together. I feel like he slammed the door on me. Ghosted me. After being together for years without a single word. Who abandons a person after beating them? I feel like I can forgive the abuse but not the abandonment. I’m enraged. In love. Desperate. Hopeful. Hateful. My family is heartbroken because they loved him and he won’t be around for Christmas. I’m sorry if my situation doesn’t fit the norm but I’m struggling. Advice/ thoughts are welcome because I have my own mental health issues and processing this by myself is proving to feel hopeless. Also keep in mind I was in a severely abusive relationship for 4 years a long time ago so I understand the whole other side as well as wishing the person who hurt you was dead and not being able to wrap your mind around wanting to give someone “grace.” but this feels different. At least in my short term processing .... Thank you.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Husband was arrested this morning for DV. We were already mid separation, so some people know we were heading to separation. Downside is we work together.

Who did you tell the truth to, and how did you tell them? Did you keep it simple and private from some people?

I just don't know how to approach this. His family knows because he called them from jail, my best friends know, and my boss. I really don't want to tell my family and am struggling with how to deal with this at work. He will have a restraining order against him that we will have to figure out the verbiage and give to HR.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I've been in a physically abusive relationships before, but I thought this was the one. He seemed emotionally stable, safe, and mature-at first. I feel a bit wimpy posting here because I haven't really been physically hurt.

The only way to keep him happy is to just smile and nod and say the right things at the right time. If I don't get a reference, disagree with his humor or politics, I'm stupid or deliberately upsetting him. 

When I bring up issues that are important to me/hurting me, he interrupts, turns it into how I'm saying something entirely different, and how I'm abusive and gaslighting and don't care about his feelings. He won't give me space if we're arguing, but will break things and storm off when it suits him.

It has been escalating the last month, now he will punch his own face, cracks jokes about me being abusive, threatens to take my car and drive off a bridge, or threatens to shoot himself if I don't shut up when he wants, say something he doesn't like, try to break up, don't agree with him (after I moved in, he began saying demeaning things about race, women, and lgbtq+. He says I just don't understand his humor). When I get fed up of being cornered and demeaned and talk back he gets mopey and sad that i don't care about him and blames his behavior all on his own ptsd, anxiety, and depression. He won't go get help, either.

Recently, I was crying, begging him to just let me leave. He said I could go and then said he'll just shoot himself since he's such a POS and went to get his gun (blocking my exit). He hasn't physically hurt me but he is sure to show how angry he is by grinding his teeth, clenching and balling his fists, popping his knuckles, hitting/throwing/breaking things, etc. 

He's made several comments in the last month about how easy it would be to break my neck, hands, and wrists with one hand, how he could crush my skull in one hand etc randomly, like when hugging me and squeezing until my back cracks and I can't breath and saying how easy it would be to just keep squeezing.

He jokingly started smothering me with a pillow two weeks ago but stopped when I told him to and said he could have kept going if he wanted to. He hurt me during sex the last time but he seemed genuinely concerned about the amount of blood, so I'm not sure if he meant to hurt me. The remorse/caring was gone pretty soon after though, and I hurt from it still. He may have just been grossed out by my blood rather than concerned. 

I used to be sure he would never hurt me. It feels like he is spiraling out of control and is unpredictable. I don't feel safe anymore.

I can't sneak much out because he never leaves and he has a photographic memory.

I'm trying to plan my escape, and debating leaving furniture here because of my discomfort/uncertainty about what he will do. Maybe I am too sensitive, but I want out.

This week my plan is to get my paperwork and money, toiletries, and some clothing out (going to donate a bunch and use that excuse).

If I try to get my home goods, I am considering hiring some big dudes with moving company, time it tight and get his guns when he's in the bathroom or sleeping and empty them, put the bullets in a bag and hide them, and block his gun safe, ammo, and knives with as much crap as possible (idk the code, he has many guns), and plan on getting my stuff out within 30-45 minutes. 

I could call PD for an escort, I think, but idk if that's making too much of a scene (since he has only injured himself and inanimate objects so far), it might just make things worse. At this point, I believe he'd go suicide by cop when wound up.

Luckily, there are no children or pets involved, I am gainfully employed and can sleep at a few different friend's places until I get my own place. 

Does anyone have tips for the actual move out process when the man never leaves and has lots of weapons? I would like to try to avoid his suicide or self harm.[/INST]Safety planning</s>",7
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I’m curious, what has your experience been with the time between physical incidents of abuse? These things happen in cycles, but I know that a “calm” period can lull me into a false sense of security. I would like to hear what some have seen as the longer periods between episodes and how it made you feel.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My husband has always had rage issues. They were exacerbated by a TBI in a car wreck this summer. 

He has been physically, financially, and verbally abusive mainly all directed at me but occasionally otherwise. He is seeing a psychiatrist and working in the right direction but started to spiral with the stress of the holidays. 

I ended up leaving him with his parents, and traveling home alone (six hours). That threw him into a greater anti-me tirade. He says I’m Bi-Polar and I’m making up being afraid of him. He’s threatened to divorce me and ruin my life if I take protective action. 

Yet, he keeps threatening homelessness on me and saying he’s going to come home and take the kids. His parents own our house so that makes everything a little bit harder. 

I just love him and want him to get help and take his medicine correctly. He’s really terrible to our children and I at times and it’s not quite normal. I don’t want divorce or separation, I just want him healthy and stable. I don’t know what to do anymore.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hi everyone. So I’ll try to keep it as brief as I know how to.

Was in a relationship for 2 years, we were engaged. We went through a lot together. For example him being diagnosed with a pretty serious condition, him going to jail twice, and him getting his by a car (he almost died).

I love this person so much however during all this time it was filled with a lot of mentally abusive stuff, momment a from blocking me from leaving all the way to posting my nude on his Facebook. However ironically what made me walk away finally was him cheating after me going through the car wreck recovery with him. It still eats at me.

Well cut a year later and here we are. He has just reached out to me, we have talked a bit and he wants very badly to date me again. He seems a lot calmer and is being very nice. However…. In the back of my mind I wish I could get over the cheating and abuse but i just can’t…. When I see him it’s like I wanna date him too but I just feel wronged. Does anyone know what my best move might be?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I have already left a 10 year marriage. 2 kids together, so I must deal with this person on some level. But when I first left I called the cops many times on him. Recently I filed a protective order and I asked for the police reports on all the times I called the police as part of evidence. The report was totally against me, as if he is some angel and I am the crazy one for calling the cops on him. It angers me to read this report and confirms that he can “talk his way out of anything.”[/INST]Police</s>",4
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>So I'm trying to find a way to leave with our dog. Without me he would be alone inside all day until after 4pm and he's anxious and attached. My only problem is I attempted to leave before and my boyfriend showed up where I was staying and took him. He likes to be in control and I know he will always find me and take him. Does anyone have advice for moving forward and keeping my dog with me?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I left my abusive relationship, but I still have so much pain and anger and sadness and shame and anxiety and distrust and on and on. I feel like this relationship crushed me. The whole world feels unsafe now. I think of some of the things he did and the pain still feels as fresh as the day it happened. I'm tired of the anxiety attacks and the panick attacks.

I'm in therapy, but I've been in therapy for a while. I am getting a little better, but I just want to be free of this. I hate him, and everything he put me through, and everything that led me to him.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>So I will admit I am in a mentally and physically abusive relationship. I am an isolated mom of a 2 and 1 year old. Just two nights ago he tried to choke me until I passed out. Then he held me across his lap and punched me in my ribs. (He caught me writing other men on a secret Instagram so that was my fault). The list goes on and on but that’s the most recent incident. 

But last night he texted me while I was at work (I’m a stripper) that he wanted to get head as soon as I walked in the door. Of course I was tired and didn’t feel like it but I texted agreeing to it because I didn’t want to make him mad. 

Once I get home and start the act I’m clearly not into it. I even run to the bathroom for a little bit to recollect myself so I don’t start crying. Once I get back to doing the act, he tells me that I’m doing a terrible job. When he tells me that I say “Yeah because I don’t wanna keep doing it” and he replies “I know and I don’t give a fuck. Keep going”. It started to seem like he was getting off because I was visibly upset or that’s just what I thought in the moment. 

I eventually can’t bring myself to do it anymore. He stands up and says “I’ll remember that” then he goes to the living room to finish himself off. And I go to sleep. I don’t think this is SA but I keep having the feeling like I got assaulted.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I left last April, when I left I was a grey shadow of a woman, a dry husk. I'm doing better now, not great but better, but people don't seem to understand that me pre-him is dead. 

They think I'm rude because I call people out constantly when they talk down to me, accuse me of things that aren't true, say something derogatory or sexist, gaslight me or try to dismiss me. I used to brush things off, I wouldn't rise to people and I'd take things with a pinch of salt or find the funny side. 

But now I fucking refuse, I refuse to give people a free pass, I refuse to brush it off or take it on the chin from anyone, be they family, ""friends"", friends of friends that I'm expected to be polite to, strangers that run their mouth. 

I'm not putting myself in danger or being aggressive to anyone at all, that's not my nature, I'm just standing up for myself for the first time. 

And now people that I've stood by and supported through so many things while I was secretly dealing with years of abuse are treating me like I'm some obnoxious bitch because I've found my backbone. I've stopped putting everyone else first and allowing my own needs to fall by the wayside so I can do things for others. And rather than anyone thinking it's healthy that I'm finally looking after myself for the first time at 30, they're treating my like I'm a selfish bitch for not being at their beck and call.

I'm tired and I'm frustrated, and I'm so so lonely. Are my standards too high now? Is it better to feel like shit for looking after myself and ending up alone or feel like shit because people are shitting on me but at least I have company?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I cleaned out a lot of stuff two months ago to prep for this so I’d really only have the bare minimum but even that feels like a lot. I don’t really know to be honest.. I don’t know what’s a point of reference on how much I need and what to bring. If I’ll need a lot of stuff at the shelter or it will be provided etc. 

Idk about money for pet food either. There’s a lot of questions running through my head right now along with the excitement and anxiety.

I also need to plan an escape route. If i just take my pet and me (I’m very sadly leaving two birds behind that technically belong to the abusers even though I took care of them), then I can play it off as a vet visit. But if I take some boxes, I can only pass so many off as more donations boxes. (I have 5 boxes and potentially a suitcase though that would be noticeable) I’m not sure if they’ll notice or ignore it. They have a front door cam so even sneaking it out the back and to the front is dangerous.

I’m spiraling from all the thoughts in my head, so any help/advice is *greatly* appreciated. 

PS I’m super excited to finally be free. I pray I never ever have to go back to them or their hell home. I’m adding this because I know a lot of survivors struggle with leaving and thinking about the process. I can relate but I’m still very happy and grateful for this chance. Naturally there comes some anxiety to work through but I know it’ll all turn out well in the end and for the best. 

TIA![/INST]Safety planning</s>",7
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I left a 7 year old abusive relationship last night and I’m absolutely shattered. I can’t eat or sleep. How do you get through the first days of this? It hurts so bad.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>It’s been a year since I escaped my “abusive” relationship. (I still don’t even feel comfortable calling it that)

He is truly a genuine, kind, loving person. I admire him so much. Everyone else also enjoys how chill, respectful, and laidback he is. 95% of the time, we made incredible, amazing memories. 

But during that other 5%, he would blow up out of frustration at my aggressive anxiety and panic attacks (he’s very familiar with my mental illnesses). He ripped apart a special painting I had commissioned of our fur babies; he ripped out electrical wires that supplied my electricity; he threw away all of my stuff stored at his place and threatened to tow my car; he smashed a box of blueberries into the ground, knowing they are my favorite fruit. 

He’d do this while loudly, violently insulting me too. There was a lot of screaming, from both me and him. A lot of me crying, begging him to stop, and him fuming in rage ceaselessly. 

Now, how do I explain all this to people without completely demonizing him? When spoken of altogether, his anger outbursts do seem horrible. But I know that he is more than just his anger and violence. He is someone who’s done so much for me, helped me survive. I don’t want anyone to burn their bridges with him; I still only want the best for him. Plus, I know I had toxic behaviors too! I don’t want to discount that! 

I want to tell people the truth of why we broke up without going into all the above detail. How do I talk about this without turning people against him?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I left him. This morning. After yet another emotional degrading episode in front of our 5 kids I took it as a sign to get out. I was not at all prepared because I’ve been so afraid, but when he went to work -after leaving and coming back multiple times- I threw clothes for me and my kids into a hamper took some snacks and a few essential items and documents and we left. Of course he’s promising he’s getting help. He’s crying he misses his kids. Trying all the things he can to get me to give into his control. But my sister helped me and I have safe place to sleep with my kids until Tuesday. And hopefully I will hear back from my local DV assistance/shelter. They have a long waitlist so I couldn’t get into it right away. I am afraid I will get arrested for taking my kids without his permission and he dosent know where they are. I’m afraid I will let him reel me back in. I’m afraid I really won’t be able to take care of myself and my kids like he’s told me countless times in the past. But I decided I can’t let the fear I have stop me. I have also contacted my local legal aid and submitted an online application so hopefully they can get back to me ASAP. I have so many thoughts spiraling threw my head as I lay with my sleeping children. If anyone has any advice on what I should/could do please tell me. Thank you all I know this is a new account so my abuser will not be able to track me I hope it’s ok.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I am no longer with my partner but the biggest trouble I have had with closure is wondering why they were abusive. I also have a hard time understanding how they treated others with respect and kindness yet with me at times it was another story. I have a difficult time processing how moments between us could be great and that it was not bad 24/7 but when it was bad, it was bad. 

I am in therapy and multiple professionals have brought up that abusive people have a VERY hard time changing their behavior even with help and that abusers are often the way they are because of something that happened in their childhood. As far as I know nothing insane happened in my ex partner's childhood that they disclosed for me so I struggle with not knowing why I was treated the way I was. 

TW Emotional/physical violence: &gt;!There were times where I was treated so bad. Every holiday/birthday was always ruined. He would break furniture, scream at me, etc. I could not be happy, but I find myself still feeling bad for my ex partner. !&lt;[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hey! Thanks to everyone who leaves any bit of advice, anything would be appreciated. 

So, this might be a longish post which I apologize for. My boyfriend (24) and me(22) have been dating for 4 years. He’s a super sweet guy and he’s bipolar. Throughout the first 3 and like a half years of our relationship we’ve had no real issues, the only exception being him cheating on me, but I forgave him for that (please don’t judge me for that lol). 

A few months ago we had an argument because he thought I was fucking my co-worker, who he knows is gay and he slapped me. He apologized, explained that he was manic and basically said it wasn’t his fault, he had been up for like over a day so I believed him. Since then it happened 4 more times, every time he told me he was manic and didn’t mean to do it. Yesterday after being up again for over a day he chocked me because I laughed at a joke in a movie, like it was for nothing. After he calmed down I told him that he can’t keep blaming being bipolar, that he should talk to his therapist about it and he essentially yelled at me, saying I was bullying him for his mental illness and calling me a bitch for not wanting to stick with him, saying he might not be alive if I left, even though I didn’t even say I wanted to leave I just wanted him to like figure out why this keeps happening. He said that if I stop flirting with other guys, and just be more pleasant and helpful when he’s manic or depressive, this wouldn’t happen. 

Is he right? He is really nice to me like literally 99 per cent and I really don’t know much about mental health, I’d really hate to be like making him worse. My best friend thinks he’s just using the mental health as an excuse but I think he’s really suffering, what do you think? Please be nice[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>
I don’t really want advice. I just want to tell someone. I have no one to tell the truth. 
I have a 6 month old and 2 others under 5, with my partner. 
I have been suffering from Post partum depression and anxiety. I’ll be honest, sometimes when I have a panic attack, I get uncontrollable. I have medication that takes a couple weeks to really help, but I still have my moments. 
Saturday was one of those moments. I yelled and yelled, and eventually i kicked a wall. The wall kick was the climax of my tantrum. 

As I’m walking out of the room, I hear him yell from behind me. I turn around and see him running out of the room after me. As soon as I could look at him straight, his hand was around my neck. He turned me around and then I felt his hand on the back of my head, in my hair. 
He pulled my hair back, to pull my head back, and wrapped his arm around my throat. 
He picked me up, and slammed me face first onto the hardwood floor. I can still hear the crack of my nose as it made impact. Once laying on the floor, he sat on my back, arm still around my throat. I couldn’t breathe. Everything I knew about fighting came to mind, and when I realized I couldn’t get air at all, no matter how much I wiggled, I just started tapping the floor. 
He didn’t stop.
Frantically I started tapping his leg. 
He didn’t stop. 
I try once more on the floor.
He didn’t stop. 
Finally, I just stopped tapping. 
At this point, all I can hear is my toddler’s screams. 
I didn’t have hardly any air left in my lungs to keep me conscious. 
He finally let go and walked away. I just laid on the floor to catch my breath. 
Eventually I made it to the bathroom. I thought I only had a nose issue.
I guess I had a bruised nose, a giant lump above my eyebrow, and I bit through my tongue. 
A few hours later, I noticed my knees and hips were black and blue as well. 
It’s been 3 days, my jaw still hurts from where his arm was on my neck. My nose is still bruised. My wrist is sprained from the fall. I feel like I’ve been in a car accident. 

I’ve been with him for 4 years, and I would have never expected this. At all.. 
I didn’t even come at him physically. I was 6 ft away from him when I hit the wall.. 
I don’t know if I can move on from this.. he said he was just trying to “subdue” me. He was “just trying to put me to sleep.” 
I think he almost killed me. 
I’ve told everyone that I just fell while running up the stairs. Which explains all of my bruises pretty

I feel so stupid. He may not have killed me, but a part of me died on that floor. I think that part was my self worth. I haven’t showered since. I can’t really even bring myself to look at him. 
Tonight I ordered pizza, because dinner just seemed to hard. I know he’s going to say something about that when he gets home. I have the means to leave, but I don’t know how to just leave my house and everything I’ve built. I’m so scared. I’m heartbroken. He has never laid an unsolicited hand on me before. Then this.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My boyfriend and I got into an argument because I wanted to plan my day around studying for school. I’m in the nursing program so I HAVE to study everyday. He first got upset when I mentioned going to study tomorrow with my classmate. I tried to calm him down by saying I’d get everything I need to done still. He said I don’t need to study tomorrow since I did that today with my classmate. It got quiet and I decided to leave and go to the room to finish my hw and study. He came to the room and said “why are you doing this”. I told him all I want to do is study, it’s not that big a deal. So he said I have other priorities..when will I have time for him. He was having people come over so we decided to talk about it later. I slammed the door on our way out the bedroom, I’ll admit that was wrong. He then turned around and grabbed me by the shoulders and kept pushing me back. He didn’t push me into the wall..but it did scare me. He was also getting in my face  and said “why the fuck are you slamming doors” . I went back into the room to get away from him and he followed me saying it wasn’t even hard I’m over exaggerating. He then apologized..I don’t buy it tho. I’m sorry if this isn’t the right sub.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I think I left my marriage before things got physically abusive. While angry, my husband has thrown food I was cooking at walls, broke a wooden door, and broke a glass shower door while I was still taking a shower. Is it true that “they hit things around you before they hit you”?

He’s such a kind person otherwise. I’m a mess and can’t tell if I left a good person who needs to work through their anger issues, or if I left a situation that was bound to get a lot worse.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>hey everyone. if anyone has had a restraining order hearing over zoom, what was it like? im wondering if i will see him[/INST]Legal</s>",2
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I just got of an abusive relationship,and it been a very hard time for me, and i seem like I can't see my future so i wanna know people who had been thought an abusive relationship, what happened to you after? How do u get thought it and how u manage to put your life back together?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>While I was pregnant my dad put his hands on me 2x. My daughter is 9 months now. I want to move out. It’s going to be hard but I can do it. He threatened to slap me over a damn charger I borrowed. Instead of asking me where I put his charger, he was on the phone talking shit about me to his girlfriend who is abusive to him just as he’s abusive to her. Just pray for me. I want my daughter to be somewhere where no one feels the need to threaten or get violent over disagreements.[/INST]Housing</s>",9
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I think I may be being abused by my partner. I don’t want to give too much information and dox myself. I am a mother of 7. We’ve been together for 6 years. He wants more kids. It’s never enough. He expects me to do everything. Sometimes, when he comes home, if I don’t have the place perfect for him or the kids are too loud he threatens me and the children. He said if I don’t let him get me pregnant again he will kill me. I just gave birth last week, and he’s already saying we should have sex, which he has never dine before. He expects me to be okay by this weekend. He also won’t let me leave the house, unless he is not home but it’s hard with 4 kids under 4 with me. He has never hit me or my kids, but he threats to. He also ripped my car door off.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I made a post a couple weeks back about a violent situation with my ex. He is in jail. I had been getting calls from him from jail, all reported. (I have a protective order). I have also gotten a couple calls from someone threatening me that I must get back with him, drop the charges, etc- I figured out how they are tied to him, but am unsure if I can prove/report that. I sent it along to the DA just in case. 

Regardless, it is obvious that a piece of paper won’t stop him. And even from jail, he is giving my info out. I am honestly really scared he’ll show up at home or at my work. I am wondering what I can do to protect myself. I have reached out to the local DV agency. I have put up cameras, and am thinking about changing cars, and moving. The police have flagged my address/number. 

What else can I do to stay safe? I feel a gun could backfire on me. Would a taser or mace be effective enough?? I just can’t go through what I did, again. Any advice is greatly appreciated[/INST]Safety planning</s>",7
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Yesterday I left and today I am feeling very sad, devastated even. I know this is normal, I know that this is the hardest part but god does it suck doing the right thing sometimes. This is one of the hardest things i’ve had to do, because I never fell out of love with this person, I still love them so much but I had to realize that no matter how much or how hard I love them, they will not change and the abuse will be my future forever if I didn’t leave. I wish I didn’t want to crawl back in his arms but they’re the only ones that could console me right now, I won’t go back but it really sucks that I want to. Looking for some support, i’m having a really hard time with this breakup as I think I trauma bonded with him, I met him a few months after my mother passed, he’s all i’ve known since then, and now I just feel devastated and mad at the world, mad at him, why couldn’t he just treat me like a decent human? None of this had to happen, but he’s given me no choice but to leave, I won’t repeat my family cycles, I come from a traumatic childhood, I have repeatedly dated men who treat me just like my step father treated me my whole childhood, I know more now than I did when I first got sucked into this cycle, and now he’s gone from doing anything to reach out to me to being silent, because he knows it will cause my anxiety to stir and that I will yearn for him to reach out, it’s sick that I want him to reach out because it feels like some kind of connection, literally anything to make me feel better, but I will be strong and not do what i’ve done in the past which is reach out to him when he’s stopped reaching out to me, I feel so sad, I know if I can get past this month that I will be okay but god it sucks to even have to do this, I just wanted him to love me, I just wanted the bare minimum but he refused so I had no other option but to leave 💔[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>The domestic hotline told me that he wouldnt change and they told me that it will get worse...but he has been really nice to me now. He even got me a Christmas present which he has not done in a few years. I told him if he does it again that I will leave. He hasnt hit me, but just mentally and verbally abuses me. His dad hit his mom and I just found out that his brother hit his wife. He has been alot nicer to me now I just hope that it stays this way. Has anyone had an experience like this? Please let me know and give me any advice[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I was in an abusive marriage for ten years and left about 4 years ago. I spent a lot of time by myself, becoming independent and healing as fully as I could before I started dating again. While dating, I met many liars and abusive men and spotted red flags a mile away and felt safe in my own awareness and willingness to walk away. 

I met a guy 2 years ago, we got on really well and became really close over the first or second Covid lockdown. He lives 60 miles away so the relationship has mostly been long distance and visiting each other once or twice a week. He is an immigrant so there are a huge number of cultural differences that have been both amazing and challenging. One of the really apparent issues is that his culture is fundamentally sexist with the general belief that women are owned by men. He, himself, does not agree with this but sometimes his actions demonstrate that that belief is in there somewhere. 

We had a horrible experience this weekend and it’s making me see everything in a strange light and now my memories of red flags are coming flooding into my mind. I’m going to list them. 

This weekend. He got jealous over something and I spent some time trying to reassure him. I put my head on his knee and he tapped his knuckles on my head 5 times. I immediately said “I didn’t like that” and he kept insisting he didn’t hit me hard enough to hurt me. I kept telling him that he did, because it hurt. We ended up in a huge fight with my screaming and crying, demanding he leave because he refused to apologise and gaslighted me to my face, obviously it was hard enough to hurt me because I was hurt. 

The next day I got serious neck injury, I can’t think about any cause other than him hitting the back of my head. I told him I thought that was why my neck hurt and he started laughing at me. I told him my dad didn’t find it funny and was concerned, and he shouted at me for “running to my dad saying I hit you” I’m like, you did though? I have ended up doubting myself because I had been drinking and because he is so adamant. It makes me feel sick to question myself like that, it’s starting to make me feel dissociative and panicky.

A few months ago we went through a break up (we’re not really bf and gf, more like casual relationship) and didn’t talk for 2 weeks. He came to my house to drop off a present and I happened to have a male friend over at the time, we were just chatting and playing guitar. My ex dropped the present off, drove away and then came back 20 mins later. He knocked on the door and I answered it and we had a brief chat. He later told me he was planning on storming in and “catch” us having sex. This was enormous alarm bells to me that he felt entitled to come into my house and “catch” me doing anything. 

I believe he talks about me in his native language with his friends but I can’t understand what he’s saying. But sometimes I’ll know he’s talking about me on the phone, there will be some backwards and forwards and laughing, and then the convo will move on. If I ask what was said he will say something simply like “my friend asked how you are and I said you were ok” and I don’t believe that he’s telling the truth because what I heard was more words and more humourless/banter back and forth than what he’s reporting. Obviously I can’t prove it. I asked if his friends have a nickname for me (he said they do for everyone) and he smirked and then refused to tell me, then said I was imagining that he smirked and they didn’t have any nicknames for me. The whole thing turned into a fight when it didn’t have to. 

During sex he is sometimes inappropriate. He has recorded me doing stuff then lied when I noticed and said he didn’t record anything, and was just watching me on the selfie camera but not recording. I’m not the kind of person to rip someone’s phone out of their hand so I can’t prove it. But even that I feel is an invasion of my privacy. He has also blatantly disrespected my direct withdrawal consent, even penetrating me with his fingers when I’ve specifically told him not to, touching parts of my body when I’ve specifically told him not to. 

Part of the problem of why I can’t decide what’s going on (even though I’m reading back over that and it’s obviously wrong) is because my marriage was SO abusive that this seems mild in comparison. I also have PTSD and tend to forget triggers immediately. I have forgotten entire days and conversations immediately after they happen and it takes months before I recall them. As a result, so much of what he does is forgotten the second he’s nice to me. And thirdly, this guy love bombs me so much that I’ve become to depend on him a little for finances and for pepping me up. But I have felt like a stranger in my own body for a year now and I’m beginning to think he is the cause of this disconnect.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My ex who I have a restraining order messaged my mom, my birthday is soon and they messaged her asking if she could ask me if it'll be okay for him to being me gifts and that he just wants ti hear my voice one more time, how he will never forgive himself for hurting me. The first time he messaged my mom in December (a week after the order) asking her to ask me to call him because he was going to kill himself and wanted to apologize (he never did and I never called) 
He sounds genuine but I no longer believe he could ever be genuine. He's never apologized until he was arrested for hitting me. 
To be honest I have this gut feeling he's trying to get me to call him so the order gets voided since I broke it and I put it on him. Should I report him to the police? Idk of bes genuine or not but I don't believe he has an honest or kind bone in his body. What should I do?[/INST]Police</s>",4
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Two night ago my now ex-boyfriend knocked me off my feet, bent over and choked me, then started punching me in the face leaving me with multiple bruises, splitting my lip and knocking out my front tooth. He left right after so when the cops came he wasn’t around. This was the final straw. 

My mom flew out, we are in the process of getting a restraining order in place and the detective is working on getting a warrant for his arrest. 

He laid low for a few days but last night and this morning he keeps calling over and over and texting over and over. He has been sleeping in his car without a change of clothes and he is trying to come back to my house (I own the home solo) to use the shower and want to talk to me. 

I am holding strong and not allowing it, no answering his calls, keeping it short and brief with a text message saying he can come by in a 30min window to pick up his stuff outside on the sidewalk. The police will be here at that time. We just finished packing his stuff into trash bags. 

Holding strong. This is so hard. I loved him with all my heart. He permanently disfigured me.  I’m holding strong.

Edit: Good news all!! He has officially been arrested. He has to sit in jail all weekend and he will be in front of a judge on Monday at which time the restraining order will be put in place. I’m so relieved.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>How do you finally get the courage to be done?

How do you ensure your own as well as your kids safety?

Has he come after you? 

Who did you have support from?

How did the kids handle the change?

How are you doing now?[/INST]Childbearing</s>",3
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I kicked him out early last year. He was physically, mentally, sexually abusive. His number and fb has been blocked since then. I didn't hear anything for about a year from him nor did I contact him. I received a message from a different fb account with his name recently which was in my ""spam folder"" in fb.

&amp;#x200B;

It says: ""Hi. \[insert my name\]. Since leaving you I have gotten my stuff together. I have 3 full time jobs, a car and I'm in a better place. Sorry for abandoning you. How have you and your cat been.?"" He also then went onto my fb posts and started ""hearting"" photo.

&amp;#x200B;

I find it strange that he's even still looking at my fb. I also doubt the full time job thing as he wouldn't take out rubbish, let alone get a job while he lived with me. All he would do was drink, smoke weed, play games and abuse me. When I kicked him out he went and lived with his mum.

&amp;#x200B;

Why even update me? What's the point in sending that message? Why after a year? I didn't respond. I didn't ask nor care what he's doing.  I don't want anything to do with him. Just blocked him instantly on that account as well.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I’ve been married 2.5 years. When we were dating before he was really kind at first and then yes he started showing his true colors. He becomes a completely different person when he is angry like his body starts convulsing and shaking and he says and does the most horrid things. 

He first started throwing things at me, TV remote water bottle - and I spoke to his parents about it and they just brushed it off. After we got married - I’ve been hit maybe 5 times… not strangled or slapped but like pushed to the ground. Manhandled kicked and pinched until my mid section bruised. 

I can’t speak to anyone at all about this… I have no place to vent and if anything no one will believe that my husband is capable because to everyone else he’s the most fun most charismatic guy… 

I have told him I won’t tolerate it but he did it again. We are traveling right now and he pushed me to the ground in the club and dragged me by my hair outside yelling and cursing at me.. so many people told him to stop but he didn’t. 

What do I do? I have no support. I just want to make him realize I’m a good wife…[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I (20f) finally got the courage, prepared for whatever to come, and had the “this needs to change, if this happens again our five month old son and I are leaving” talk with my fiancé (25m).

He refused to see everything I explained saying either he didn’t remember doing/saying that or asking when something he did/said happened. He’d say that he is just really stressed out and doesn’t know why, started asking me why he would be. He’d say that he needs help, even after I kept telling him that his family and I have given him all the advice and help that we can—that he is the only one that can help himself now.

He told me that if he doesn’t let out “small violent urges” like slamming, throwing, or breaking things while yelling at our son, me, or just in general then how is he supposed to get out the anger. He said that if he lets it all build up then it’ll get bad bad when he explodes and that I “don’t want that to happen.”

Near the end of it he had turned himself into the victim and made me the villain. He kept saying things like no one cares what he thinks or how he feels, that I don’t give his parenting opinions a chance (I’m not comfortable with us drinking around our son or spanking him as discipline, which he’s a violent drunk and knows he’ll take spanking too far), that no one helps him, etc.

I told him that we do care, we always express interest and we have actively given him all the advice we can, and that we are tired of doing everything for him so we’ve stopped he doesn’t clean up after himself or do any basic household chores. I told him that I need a partner and our son needs a father, and that I would like to be loved nicely. He proceeded to say that he doesn’t understand or see how he doesn’t treat me nicely and that he’s doing what he can to be good to our son. So it just circled all the way back around to the beginning, explaining everything that has been done and said.

It ended with him only apologizing once. What did he apologize for? “What do you want me to say? I’m sorry I’m not a good person.”

So I stuck to the whole point of the conversation and said one more time, “If things don’t change, if you do any of those things one more time, then we need to take a break.” And I started to go out to sit in my car, he asked where I was going. I told him that I needed to be alone. He responded with, “I don’t want to be left alone with myself.”

I’ve been through that stupid ass tactic before with a couple of friends, it wasn’t happening again. I stuck to going to sit in my car. I sat out there for 20 minutes trying to get ahold of a friend and breathe. I came back in and he was already fast asleep snoring.

Woke up and he’s been acting like nothing happened, like what he usually does after we have serious discussions or arguments. He said he was sorry about staying so late at his parents over the water heater issue, said “you’re mine, aren’t you?” and “I’m terrified of losing you”, started kissing all over me, and tried initiating sex.

I have given up at this point. That was my last chance at trying to talk to him. I think this relationship is pretty much over and he is just avoiding it. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Any advice or outlook on this would be helpful, but also thank you for listening.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>On January 24, after three weeks of love bombing, I called him out for something I didn’t agree with. He got angry and issued two slaps to my face, I kept telling him to have sympathy on me. He then poured orange juice over me and all over the house which I had just cleaned, I refused to stay quiet and he then poured soap on me.  I spent the next hour and a half cleaning up as he laughed and said this was what I deserved, all while seven months pregnant. The next day, after hours and hours of crying and stressing myself out, I felt very sick and had bad pelvic pain. I asked him to take me to the hospital because I didn’t feel well, he claimed I was the girl who cried wolf. I repeatedly said please just take me, he refused. I then simply took a cab into the hospital to get myself and baby checked out. While in the hospital, my abuser continued spewing hate. He mentioned how he wishes the child would die so that he could get a second shot or how he would leave me if she came out mentally ill from all the stress “I put on her”. How a man could spew such hate while a woman is in the hospital is beyond me. Baby and I are fine, thank god. How do you walk away from this? All while seven months pregnant? Do abuse victims ever ask what you did to deserve this life to begin with?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hi there. First time posting here &amp; honestly I'm not sure how I feel. My case against my ex husband has been ""cold"" since Covid started. Long story short, I married my highschool sweetheart, he was an amazing partner until, well, he decided to take the mask off 5 years in.. He was a cheater, and abused me verbally, emotionally, physically and sexually. Raped me often and I reported it over and over, but they said they couldn't force charges against someone I was married to. Countless police reports and calls, and they let him go Everytime. Because of his job, He has strong ties within the community and law enforcement. They over looked everything.. when I finally got away from him, the stalking began. He even broke into my home and had placed hidden GoPro cameras in my bedroom. He threatened to kill me and our children often and even bragged to others about it. He escalated and escalated. Finally in 2017, I escaped him safely with my children. The threats and stalking continued, and in 2018 a detective took my case and started looking into things. Unfortunately, she did nothing with it and actually told me there's no evidence of anything and closed my case. I've been devastated, forced to co parent with my  abuser and rapist and he's out here living his best life above the law, not being held accountable for anything. I was depressed, suffering with debilitating PTSD, I eventually had to move on because life continues, right? It had to. I actually got remarried, and I'm expecting a new baby with my husband, I'm doing well despite the fact that I'm still forced to coparent with this terrible man and have had to call DCF multiple times over things he's done to my children. Like always, he gets away with it. 

Today, out of nowhere, I get a call. A new detective wants to reopen my cold case and start investigating to push over to the state attorney's office for charges. I'm dumbfounded. I'm meeting with her next week to go over everything. I'm honestly all over the place with emotions. Thankfully I have it all in a box that I've kept in my attic. Police reports, images of injuries, witness statements. I just don't know what to think or what I'm supposed to expect. I just want justice. But I'm scared.[/INST]Legal</s>",2
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hi,

I am 31F and my bf is 37M, we have been together for 3 years. We are currently LDR due to the pandemic. He had a porn addiction in the past (which he claims to have gotten over, but I obviously have my doubts) as there has been no intimacy per say in 20 months.

As far as I know there is no infidelity and he has never given me any reason to believe so, he has been very good at being transparent with his life with me. Obviously due to the lack of his sexual interest towards me (and comparing my body to exes in the past, stating the just preffered athletic body types like theirs more and had to get used to mine. Making comments about my weight, indicating I was fat when I'm not. I'm 105lbs and his exes weighed 50lbs more than me and never worked out so the athletic part is still a mystery) we have gotten into a lot of fights as my needs weren't being met.

A year ago I saw he was following a lot of women he didn't know on instagram and liking their pictures. I was deeply upset because he had rejected my pictures in the past saying they make him ""uncomfortable"" and shows no lust towards me, but does to other women. I told him I don't believe his addiction has stopped and I found this behaviour disrespectful. He unfollowed them all and since then I thought things were ok, but a year later...

I see he is adding women again for the past month he doesn't know again but not on insta, but facebook. As if he thought I wouldn't notice. They're all in different countries, very poor, living in slums by what looks like it and the most concerning part is that all of them are underage, I'm talking about 30+ girls way under 18. Also a month ago we had a big fall out where he tried to break up with me cause he says he feels ""anxiety"" when I text him because we fight so much, but he changed his mind 5 days later claiming he decided he does love me. A week after this incident he changed our relationship status on facebook went from public, to friends only. It was the only thing that confirmed our relationship publicly (took me a year to ask him to please change it) as he hasn't got one single picture of me on his facebook after 3 years (yet he has hundreds of pics of his exes and was with them a shorter period of time) and he would go out of his way to take pictures excluding me. I haven't brought this up with him as I was scared of another fight and being dumped on the spot again for bringing up a concern. While I don't think he is a cheater, this behaviour certainly doesn't bode well with me and is making me believe he is capable of it due to not respecting boundaries.

I feel ashamed, humiliated, disrespected and worthless. He knows that it was important to me to have us showing as in a relationship on social media, he knows it is important to me he doesn't add women just cause he fancies them (it's disrespectful) and given how I have been treated it sure doesn't help my self esteem.

I'm an attractive woman, I am a model. If I wasn't attractive I wouldn't be hired, but he sure is treating me like I'm not good enough. He even said I'm the most attractive woman he has ever been with.

I want to bring this up with him again one last time, but the problem is that he is extremely defensive and threatens to either end the relationship on the spot so I get scared and become compliant or he screams and shouts at me and I'm scared of that happening too. I don't like that I have been keeping quiet about this for a month due to fear of his defensiveness, but I do need to communicate and talk about it. If he acts like a jerk then so be it, but I just wanna do it right and have a normal civil conversation in a curious way, heck knows maybe I'm misinterpreting things and there could be a reason to this? I don't know, is there anything I can say that would be less likely to get a defensive response and for me to stand tall? If it doesn't work obviously I will have to walk away, I just believe a conversation is necessary.

Sorry for the long post and thank you to whoever read this, I appreciate you.

TL;DR: Bf is following underage girls on social media and is usually very defensive if I ask any questions or have concerns about the relationship, how can communicate this to him in a calm healthy way?

\*Is this DV? I'm worried, I was sent here after all\*[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Has anyone wondered if the abuse may not have happened if the person wasn't under the influence? In my situation my ex was under the influence of cocaine and alcohol a lot of the times he was abusive... he claims he wouldn't have done those things if he was sober. But I pointed out to him he was still mentally and physically abusive even sober. Or is it another way for the abuser to not take responsibility??[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Why I feel getting hit is my fault?[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>im stuck in this weird place where when im with him i want him to leave i want to break up, but when we actually are broken up i can’t stomach it and just go back. then i go back and i just want to leave again and the cycle keeps going. 

i need advice or just any suggestions at all.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>How bad does it have to get before it's considered an abusive relationship? I see some of the stories here and I feel ashamed even wondering if what happened to me was abuse. 

I have been shoved and pinned down for less than a minute. These types of incidents only happened 3 times over the course of 2 years. My bf was drunk every time. I have never been hit. I dont think he would ever do that. He apologized right after every incident. 

How far does it have to go until it's abuse? I have never been in a relationship before this so I don't have anything to compare it to. I'm hoping he'll stop because I told him I can't stand it anymore and he promised he would. My hope is that nothing like that happens again because I don't want to be in an abusive relationship.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My abuser is currently in prison waiting for his hearing. I am waiting for my no contact order to go thro. But in the mean time he is still sending me letters....aggressive letters that are intimidating and full of lies...accusing me of being the abuser and I should be in jail. Yesterday I received a horrible letter from him with roses. I'm trying to figure out what to do? Keep letters and use as evidence or send them back to sender using my stamp. I want as much evidence as possible to put him away. But I also am feeling depressed and fed up with life after reading his mean letters. Any advice on what to do with his letters?? BTW he is claiming I AM HARASSING HIM in his latest letter.  Which I am not!!. He calls me from prison a hundred times a day (when they're not on covid lock down) and he writes me 2 or 3 letters a day. I don't answer his calls and I don't write him back .[/INST]DV report procedure/Documentation</s>",6
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I called one today in my city and they have me the green light to come in. They told me they allow men even though it’s a women’s shelter which is concerning. There also seems to be a lot of rules and it’s very strict. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t want to stay in the abusive household.[/INST]Shelters/ DV center/ Agency</s>",1
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>So literally just 30 min ago, he came to my room for no reason other than to attack me. He grabs a broom, hits the wall on purpose to provoke me to get up, and if I do try to close the ""door"", he spits on me. He then proceeds to run away. Both of my parents were here, my Mother *sometimes* stops him if I threaten to call the police. My father just ignores that I exist. I am financially bankrupt so my only choice is to live here or run away and be homeless. I am getting a job probably this week, and my first priority is to move out. My ""door"", is knobless, so he can go in and enter whenever he feels like it. My dad bought a new one but is too lazy to install it, and I have to *beg* him to install or or else he never does. I have no idea how to do so myself, so I am constantly threatened, and whenever he does attack he gets away with it with no problem. His build is slighly taller despite being younger so he has a wide range of attacks, my only option really is to just barricade the door, but he can just easily push through it and attack me. He has attacked my sister once and has gotten baker acted, I really don't want to do that again as it puts financial stress on my parents and then they *blame* me for being innocent. It's a messed up family dynamic, and I am constantly fuming with anger, which affects not only my college life but social life and everything. I am frequently outside my house for that very reason.

TL;Dr: violent agressive younger sibling, and indifferent parents, vs me who does nothing to provoke them except try to get profit and ratain my sanity within my bedroom.

Edit: Does anyone know a DIY trick that would allow me to have a ""fake door"" if it is knobless? I feel like that would be a temporary solution, not the *best* but better than nothing? Like for example, could I tie a string or something that would close the ""door"" shut? I am just brainstorming. I do not like to call the police because this is considered a ""trivial"" matter, and I get sh*it* for it. I'd rather do things my own way and move out when I can.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Does anyone coparent with their abuser? It’s been awful for me, I find it best when there is zero to little communication. I have been doing this for years and he still tries to manipulate me and he manipulates the children. Constantly talks bad about me to the kids. When I do talk to him it’s constant verbal abuse and disrespect. I know it sounds horrible but It makes me question if it’s worth my mental health. Sometimes I feel like running away. I just want to know how some of you cope with this, if there’s a way to cope.[/INST]Childbearing</s>",3
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I'm unsure if this is the right place to ask, and I feel stupid asking the internet for help. But I can't stand it. I'll keep this short, here goes.

My older sister threatens to throw things at me. And sometimes, she actually does. This has been happening since we were kids. I can't pinpoint exactly what's wrong or what makes her do it. Here is my attempt at explaining the situation:

When I tell the truth, she always says I'm lying and denies that I'm being truthful. She keeps saying she's right and I'm wrong. If i speak against that or explains, she gets angry. And says that because she's older I should never talk back. I find this obnoxious. Then it suddenly escalates. She starts threatening to throw things at me if I keep ""talking back"" (i.e. explaining, mere sounds, even apologizing is talking back). So I shut up and let her lecture me about why I'm such a bad person and about the situation.

And it doesn't stop there. After all that she asks a question, for example, ""do you understand?"". If i answer silence she gets angry. If i don't give her an answer she likes, she gets angry. If i do tell her what she wants to hear, then she finally stops. And expects that i will still obey her orders since im younger. 

Is this a normal sibling interaction? Or am i just screwed up like my sister says i am? I can delete this post if it sounds dumb.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hello, i am new to this my ex who i have a order of protection against was arrested Thursday because he broke in my house and tried to force me to sleep with him. The DA wants me to come to there office today w my security camera footage on a hard drive. 


What questions should I ask them?[/INST]Legal</s>",2
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>So I just need to vent or see if anyone else dealt with this situation. I left an abusive relationship all my friends knew it was told me I need to leave they even witnessed it. In the end I found out they were talking badly about me to my abuser and started choosing the abusers side so I eventually cut them all off because it hurt so bad to know all those people I did anything for ended up being extremely fake and choosing to stay friends with my abuser even tho they have all talked shit about each other. I have trust and abandonment iusses now with making friends and I have actually not made anymore friend do to this it is almost to years now. Why do people do that chose the abuser over the victim? It's confusing and I don't understand why? This is my first ever post on Reddit so bare with me 😭[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My ex and I are still living together while he finds other housing with a friend he plans to live with. Today, he decided to get drunk, and since he was drunk he wanted to turn the heat up in the house. I'm the one paying the bill, so I asked him not to, and he did so anyway. I'm currently trying to save money on bills, so that worst case scenario my daughter and I can get another apartment if he decides he no longer wants to leave. He went to go play his music and so when it got hot, I turned the heat off, he saw me do it, and he used his body to push me out of the way so that he could turn the heat back on, then he proceeded to remove the thermostat from the wall so I'd have no way to change it. After this I decided the safest thing was to take our daughter into the bedroom and lock the door, especially as he was stumbling around and trying to pick her up. He started begging for a blanket and like an idiot I fell for it. He pushed his way in after telling me he was ""tired of my shit"" he decided to take my bed, instead of the sofa where we agreed he'd sleep, as my daughter is used to sleeping on the bed with me. Is this considered abuse? Him pushing me? He told me its not because he didn't bruise me nor did he use his hands to do it, only his body.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I am a 26F and have been married to my boyfriend of six years since a little bit more than a moth now. (We have never lived together before marriage) 
During this month, we had our ups and downs as I heard that this is a normal thing when you move in with someone let alone get married to them.

We share bills and are fine with that we have equal responsibilities I think but I am the one who always cooks, and for him to do things as I want to I always have to repeat myself many times at a time to get heard, almost like with a kid.

During this month we had two major fights, and I am starting to ask myself if it is domestic abuse or not. During the fights I always yell because he provocantes me with words he knows I can’t stand, and after I start yelling he becomes crazy, because he already told me many times that his boundary is yelling and that if I yell at him I shouldn’t expect him to behave well or talk to me respectfully.
He always tries to leave when the fights get too hot and I can’t stand someone ignoring my talking and leaving after they set me on fire, I feel like I am the one who pushes his buttons too far by not letting him leave. But then when he doesn’t leave he starts hitting the walls, threatening to hit me, grabbing me very hard from the wrists and even pushing me. He threatened many times of killing me or hitting me if I don’t stop talking but I can’t stop talking when I still have things to say. He says horrible things to me like calling me crazy and threatening to kick me out or to leave and never coming back again knowing that I told him many times that I can’t stand it and it is a red line for me.
One time when I tried to make him talk to me by physically trying to prevent him from getting out from the room, he accidentally hit me very hard at the face trying to leave nevertheless and I had a black eye for a few days after that
I feel like I am the one who gets him to the state of hitting walls and banging things everywhere, partially by not being able to control myself and yell at him during fights so I don’t know wether or not it is domestic violence at this state or not.
I can’t talk about it to friend and family because I feel like there is no coming back after that and I am scared of being the one who provoques it and the idea of telling people about it makes me feel like I am lying. 
I feel really desperate after fights like this occur and lost knowing that I have never experienced that with him before marriage and that his behavior towards me changed completely after marriage  and that he seems to expect me to be a lot more submissive now that we are married.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hello guys, I am 29. My father who is 61 constantly beats my mum even though she is a cancer patient. He never cares about what other people feel. When I raise my voice against him, he says its none of my business. He is basically a clear psychopath who is addicted to alcohol. I also suspect he is weak with women and has external affairs. Being in constant stress over the past 10 years, lead to me developing psoriasis and got me into depression. I am planning to move out of my country to study abroad and take my mum with me. Please guide on how to survive until then because he constantly beats me up too. He has even bitten me once and spit on my face. I am trying to be patient as much as possible but its wearing out. I have developed anxiety and depression because of him. Any advice/tips/life lessons on how to face this situation and handling it will be much helpful to me.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Yesterday he pulled me hair out beat my face for the first time and left marks. Im never allowed to process the abuse because hes too tied up in “feeling bad” and I have to comfort him. Hes my first boyfriend we started dating when I was 16 im now 23 turing 24 soon. I have nothing to my name not true friends not true family fhat cares. His family supports his abuse to me and only care to tell him to stop because hell go to jail. Not because hes hurting another human.  This is the first time im telling anyone anything. Because im on the verge of disappearing from this earth. Im scared and tired. And I feel like its all my fault. Hes even a year younger than and that makes me feel worse about the situation. I have a little sister and I feel like ill never ba able to be a good role model for her because of what I put up with. I just feel defeated. Sorry if this is a ramble or not allowed. I just need help. I have along history of being abused.  Sexually from a sibling for years. Emotionally abused when I came out about the trauma.And almost immediately after that I got into the worst relationship of my life and feel like I have to stay because he financially supported me. I feel in debt.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>TL;DR: my gf has physically and verbally abused me for a long time, it’s escalated recently, and now I’m finally leaving and I’m not telling her. I feel I need to post this to remind myself why I need to leave. 

I (M 28) am leaving my GF (F 26) tomorrow morning after 3.5 years. After speaking to 3 individual therapists myself, and working with a couple’s therapist with her I can’t take the verbal abuse anymore. I’m leaving tomorrow morning and I’m not telling her. 

Here are some the highlights (or low lights) of the abuse. 

About 7 months ago, when her grandma in another country passed, she spent the whole week drowning her sadness in liquor. She’d blacked out and at about 2 or 3 in the morning taken my keys to go driving. I tried to stand behind the car and stop her and she accelerated at me. I got in front of the car to try to get her attention and she drove forward towards me. This to cap off a week of her saying she could wait until MY grandma died so she could treat me as shitty as I was treating her. (I was physically unable to take off of work and I still tried to comfort her, but that wasn’t enough.) I had, and still do have a lot of sympathy for what she was dealing with, but I didn’t deserve that, I really tried to be a good partner. 

About 5 months ago she locked me out of the Airbnb we were staying at around midnight returning from seeing my friends. She was piss drunk and angry at me for trying to stop her from taking their dog outside without a leash  who was notorious for trying to run away. I went to a hotel that night, and she spent the night berating me by text and voicemails. My friend came with me to get my stuff the next day, and she spent the whole time begging me not to leave, swearing she would change. I stayed away for a week and eventually caved after convincing me she would change, and somehow making it partially my fault with something else she was mad about. 

3 months ago - at my parent’s house no less - she drinks herself into a stupor. She gets angry at me because I tell her to stop trying to pin me in the bathroom so she can berate me for telling her I didn’t appreciate her calling me names and berating me that night. I go to walk past her, and she punches me in the stomach, leaving a small cut where had been holding chopsticks or something. I got very angry and yelled how dare you hit me, my parents naturally over hear and try to diffuse the situation without escalation. Eventually we go to separate rooms, but she spends the night berating me about how she didn’t punch me, I’m dramatic, etc. 

Fast forward to the past two weeks- she spends a car ride back to my family’s house berating me, leaving a house party we were invited to with family I had in town. At my family’s house, tries to force me to have sex with her by pinning me, and then eventually storming out when I refuse, driving drunk to go back to where we were staying at the time at about 3 - 4 in the morning. This continued through the week, drinking through the week nights, berating me about something. Finally in our couple’s therapy session i bawl my eyes out telling her to fix her drinking etc, and eventually she tells me it’s my fault for drinking because I wasn’t happy or hype enough. At this point, my individual therapist had told me about the cycle of abuse, so that softened it and helped me not internalize it. Then today, after leaving brunch with a couple friend we met, she proceeds to berate me in our Uber for not making sure she brought her mask with her. I was only thinking about myself, etc. we get back and she strikes up a conversation with a random neighbor we’ve never seen, we talk like it’s all good, as the conversation dies down I suggest we go check on our dog. We walk away and then in the house she gets angry with me telling me I made her look like a fool. At this point I’d had it. I went to the room and locked the door so she couldn’t get in. She eventually came and knocked on the door and demanded I let her in. I did, but told her I had nothing to talk about with her, she said how dare you lock the door to our room, don’t ever do that again. She comes and lays in the bed and falls asleep. 

I’ve been packing my things since secretly, and I’m leaving for good this time. Family is picking me up early in the morning and I don’t plan to tell her. I’m finally going to stand up for myself, and I’m not coming back. I feel I need to post this to remind myself why I need to leave.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I've left a decade long physically, emotionally, financially and psychologically abusive relationship. 

What does healing even look like? What were/are your goals? 

I understand physically healing - I have a dentist appointment to have some teeth fixed/replaced with implants. I got some hair growth serum to help with bald spots where my hair was ripped out. Etc.

But what does emotional healing look like? If anyone has any tangible ideas/goals, I'd be very grateful!

I just feel numb.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I made the choice to have my cat of 16 years put down last night. She was so sick and so tired. My ex-husband and I adopted her when we got engaged and moved in together. When things got bad between us she would sit on my lap and try to make me feel better. On nights when he would tear through the house destroying things and coming after me, she and I would cuddle up on the bathroom floor and hide until morning. She's very easily the reason I am here now still alive finally out of that hell. 
I miss her and I am grateful for her and I don't know how to keep going without her still here.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Me (24F) and my boyfriend (27M) have been together for 3 years. We have a one year old together and I am currently expecting our second. I’ve been a stay at home mom up until about two weeks ago. I started to be really drained and depressed from the pregnancy hormones and really needed a break from watching my child 24/7. 

I finally found a daycare that I love and It’s been nice because my son gets to hang out with other babies for about 4 hours everyday, while I either relax or work on other business plans. I’ve really seen a uplift in my mood since I’ve been getting a break. 

Yesterday, my boyfriend told me he feels as though our child getting into daycare was a waste of time and money, since I’m not working and don’t  do anything but sit on social media while he’s there. I tried to explain that it was deeper than that, and even agreed to get a job if that would make more sense. We argued and I began crying because hormones I guess and frustration, he was upset I was crying an poured out the coffee he bought me. I asked why he did that and he said “because I paid for it” so in retaliation, I poured his cup out and asked him how that felt. In response he raised his hand like he was going to hit me but instead filled a cup with warm water and threw it in my face in front of our son. 


I was stunned but am not sure if this is a big deal. I can’t believe he would do this to me in front of our one year old. Is this the start to a relationship that’s destined to get violent?[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I think my problem right now is I have more compassion than I do sense.

I love him so much, and I know he's hurting. But I also can't help but feel manipulated, I just can't get my anger to the surface. It's always pushed down by my ever-present urge to protect him and not be mean.

After a week of no contact, he called me. It was an emotional conversation. He desperately wants to come home. But I can't let him, we're not good for each other. Like we're werewolves and each other's full moons. I have to protect myself and our pets.

But I don't want to be heartless. I don't want to keep his dogs from him. But I can't let him come home -- we'll settle into our old ways and co-dependence. I just don't know if I have the strength to turn him down completely. He promised to go to therapy and anger management, and I hope he does. But I want him to do it for himself, not for me. Otherwise, it will never truly be him. But I still don't know if I trust him to go. It's so complicated. I want him to feel loved and protected, but I know I'm not the right person for it.

I wish I could believe he could change, that this should be his wake-up call. I'm also scared that flat-out rejection will result in him hurting himself. He's proven he's capable of that. I'm hurting, I know he's hurting. Is it even possible to continue loving him at distance or is the healthiest option truly to completely cut off contact and let the chips fall where they may? Honestly, the potential outcomes keep me up at night.

**EDIT:** He's trying to force me into making a decision and the only options are to let him come back home or he's going to pursue doctor-assisted suicide. I want him to make the choice to live and try to live a better life for himself. I can't let him come home - I don't feel safe with him here, but telling him no is (in his mind) telling him to die. I don't know what to do. I've told him a million times even if I was willing to take him back one day after I saw real change, that day wasn't today. And because, after only a week since he left, I'm not willing to confirm there's a future for us, he's not willing to do any sort of self-improvement. I regret picking up the phone again. I wasn't ready for this, and he's clearly breaking. My heart hurts for him. This rock and hard place situation has no winners.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I went to the police today after my ex slammed me to the ground and put me in a choke hold, leaving me with swollen/bruised face, knees, legs, and hands. They told me because there was no “verbal threat” they couldn’t do anything…[/INST]Police</s>",4
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I know the relationship sucked. But I miss the good parts, and the feeling of being that close to someone. So badly. I know he was a master of manipulation, but it felt like he knew me so well. We had similar taste in everything and he knew how to make me happy or how to make me feel so loved (when he wanted).  I'm over him, believe me, but God do I miss the good relationship feelings. It's been so long since I felt love and passion for someone. 

I've been with my new boyfriend for one year. And he's great! He treats me well, we get along well... but we aren't super passionate. We don't have all the same interests, not always this insane connection (though I know that's an unrealistic expectation in a healthy relationship). I do not feel in love with him, and I feel like it's because that part of my brain has been fried. I've given it time, hoping it will grow. But it's like I hit a wall. Normally I'd think it's me just not that into him type of situation. I have every reason to love this guy and swoon over him, but I just don't. I'm happy in my relationship, but I feel like I'm not as happy as I could be..  as if undying, passionate, take a bullet for you type love will never happen for me again. 

Anyone else experience similar? Does it get better?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I’ve been at the DV shelter w my kids 3 weeks now. My abuser takes care of the kids while I work. I can’t completely cut him off. I’ve never been worried about him around the kids. 
Anyway he is trying to see me on Valentine’s Day “for 1 last time alone” I felt like it would be okay at first but I’m starting to think I probably shouldn’t because we would actually be alone. He could try to hurt me. Idk. It’s hard still being in constant contact w your abuser.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>So I couldn’t stay while finding somewhere else to live and left last Wednesday while he was at work and am living at a cheap holiday house place with my kids.

I keep getting rejected for rental properties as there is a rental crisis at the moment here, so I’m feeling a bit down.

He called today and said I can have the rental we shared and he will leave, all I have to do is withdraw my DV paperwork and go back on the lease. 

Along with all the “I didn’t realise what I had until it’s gone, you’re beautiful, I love you” BS.

I felt bad in my gut so I stayed strong and said no. And then he started yelling again. Goes to show, a leopard does not change their spots - they are only “nice” when they want to or are getting their way. 

Please send positive vibes my way that I can get accepted for an apartment in the next 7 days.

Stay strong.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My ex lies for attention, either to impress people or to play the victim. He lies to rewrite history. He lies to win arguements. He lies to gaslight. And he lies to everyone without feeling bad for lying. 

I can only imagine that this was what is called compulsive lying. I think he sometimes repeats lies enough that he starts to believe his own lies. Does it have to be intentional to be considered abusive?[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Update:  
I read everyone's advice. Thank you so much.   
I packed up his essential stuff and asked him to give me some space for a few days (this gave me some wiggle-room). He begged, guilt tripped, and yelled to try to get me to reconsider, but I stood firm. He's been staying with his parents. I still have finances to disentangle and I still have all of his furniture, but he's out of the house and I feel like I can finally breathe again.  


original post:  
I'm want to kick out the guy im engaged to. He's controlling towards me/ wont let me work and puts me in debt, always yelling and screaming. I want to kick him out. He's not on the lease, and I think he'd be legally entitled to 60 days notice. Does anyone have advice on what I can do?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Awaiting trial, he's been in prison since April, another bail application hearing tomorrow and I know it's irrational to predict the future on the basis of a feeling, but I have a bad feeling. If he's released, I'm torn between wanting to go into DV emergency accommodation because I'm afraid he'll kill me, staying put because I hope he'll kill me or deluding myself into believing I can reboot us somehow but without all the torture this time around. I have zero people in my life. I'm going to spend Christmas alone. I don't even care about Christmas, but it's the principle of not having the option of participation. I feel so miserable I've gone back to almost believing I need him.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>The real culprit is within the walls of family law. The court system, the Children’s Division, police, etc. (&amp; it doesn’t matter what city/county you reside - it’s all crooked)…they all perpetuate the problem. Until there’s a total overhaul of the “system”, DV will never end. It will only continue to get worse. Never forget that (&amp; never trust anyone in the system - ever).[/INST]Legal</s>",2
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>i been taking care of my grandma since her husband died in 2016, paying bills, keeping the house standing, yard and house work, food in the house, the whole 9 yards, only to be met with verbal abuse daily, i do nothing but help out around here and get nothing but disrespect in return, if i move out, she loses the house because she cant physically do it anymore, she suffered a small stroke a couple years ago and cant do numbers/cant pay her own bills, let alone anything else, she treats me like a personal slave, what should i do?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I’m really scared to go to one, but I don’t know how much longer I can take this. 

How bad are they? Are the people nice? Do they help with job placement? Any personal experiences are greatly appreciated, good or bad, I’m just terrified right now. 

Thank you.[/INST]Shelters/ DV center/ Agency</s>",1
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>We made it out earlier today (well I guess yesterday now). I took my 3 year old daughter to the AirBnb we rented long-term/temporarily and she stayed with the babysitter while I ran back to the old apartment and threw as many of the kids' clothes and mine in a suitcase as fast as I could, as my husband was drunk and yelling obscenities at me, trying to rip my clothes and grabbing my hair. I put the baby in the stroller, grabbed him and the suitcase and we left alone.

The kids are very upset and confused, still up at 4:30am but here we are, together, safe, and away from our abuser. We did it. We made that first step, that hardest step. I never thought I could do it but I did. I am looking forward to the new, calm, safe and happier next chapter with my children. The hardest part is over.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Really feeling stuck this weekend with my ex. He's been out of the house for 6 months... This past week I found the passport of his ex girlfriend stowed away in a bag. I was able to get her contact through one of his friends I keep in touch with. She told me it ""went missing"" two days before her flight out of the country but that she had always suspected that he stole it. She went on to share the same abusive stories that I have. Obviously I had to tell the friend why I wanted this woman's contact information, that I found her passport.  Suddenly I get a barrage of threatening emails from him this weekend. ""Why am I so obsessed with him? Why can't I let it go? Why do I try so hard to ruin his reputation?"" It's so hard because I'm actually trying to stay in my lane. I've been successfully no contact for a while now. I would actually love for his reputation to be destroyed, and for people to know how abusive he is. But I don't need to spread rumors for that to happen... It naturally will happen through the consequences of his actions. I honestly feel like I can't say anything to anyone about the relationship, how he's not seeing his son or paying child support, even though it's stuff I really do wish I had someone to talk to about it with.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My friend just got away from an abusive ex, and they are having to pay 2,000 to break the lease. I think that is very messed up, is there any way to get out of that? They don’t want to press charges against their ex, but this person cut them with razors, left huge bruise marks, bite marks, and scars. I think charges should be pressed but I can’t convince him to, but if nothing else, I just don’t want my friend to have to pay $2,000 for his own safety. Does anyone have any advice? It is male violence, so no one is taking him seriously, but he is going through a lot right now and he showed me his injuries and they are really bad[/INST]Housing</s>",9
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My boyfriend that I have been with for 4 years, always abuses me. I am now 20 years old and he is 24, if I do something he dosent like he will hit me. It all started of with me have social media, (instagram and snapchat) he told me that I am not allowed them platforms and I must delete them. He made me sit their and delete every single follower 1 by one, which took hours. After I removed all of the followers, that's when he made me delete the account. He slapped me in my face and pulled my hair back and said ""you are only mine"". I had all of my friends on those social media platforms, even long distance friends but I was not allowed to have it. I used to be so scared around him he always wanted to check my phone he wanted to check everything.
Another time when he abused me, it was when I was going out on a night out with the girls, I was getting ready at my mums house and he wouldn't stop ringing my phone, he constantly kept ringing and texting me saying ""I dare you to go out"" ""I will kill you"". I did the worst mistake ever and I turned my phone off. So I went out and went to the clubs, a couple of hours in he was walking up and down the street where the clubs were looking for me, showing people a photo of me asking if ""they have seen this girl"". He eventually found me and I was outside smoking a cigarette on my own. He already had a car with him, he had a taxi driver, driving him about so I was drunk at this point he pulled me into the taxi and said to the taxi man ""drive"" I was constantly saying '""I want to get out""I was screaming saying ""let me out"" and the taxi man kept on driving as my partner told him to. because I continued to shout he told the taxi driver to stop, and he slapped me across my face so hard. He opens the cab door and pulled me out of it with my hair, I was on the floor and he kicked me in my side multiple times. He payed the taxi driver extra money to not say anything, the taxi driver just drove of. I tried to get up and run away but he caught up to me and beat me up on the floor.
Theirs so many times where he has beat me up, I've only told you one of them so far, I am now 20 years old and I feel so depressed, so tired and unmotivated in my life. I feel like my life is pointless their is no escape.
He has cut me with a knife before threatening me that if I tell the police then he will throw acid in my face. He was this control over me, what he says goes. He tells me to come back and im always running to him. Im always running back because he WONT LEAVE ME ALONE. if I block him, change my number he leaves me emails, letters, comes to my house when he knows my family aren't in. He does everything in his power to keep hold of me.
Its not just physical abuse he gives me it is emotional and verbal. He has made me feel so low about my self image and I will never dare step out of my house without makeup as I feel so insecure now, I never used to really wear makeup now I have to wear it.
He has punched me in my eye before, slapped me, punched me in my face and all over my body, had me on the floor and he stood on my face saying ""this is where you belong"" he kicks me when im on the floor and he spits on me. My worst nightmare is when he gets his belt out on me ""I just scream begging him to not hurt me"" but if its not his belt he will hold a knife towards me.
I have a stab mark on my leg so I decided to get a tattoo to cover it up, I don't like to see it I try to forget everything he has done to me but I can't.
He will never leave me alone, he will always be their.Ive realised their is so escape. If I tell the police he will get someone to do something to me I know he will. I now do not have the energy to be upset about him abusing me anymore, I feel like it is normal, I have experienced this for 4 years from being 17 years old. I have to live with this until he wants to leave me. :([/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I am considering going tonight, if I can get a ride. I don't know what to expect and I'm scared. I'm autistic and the sudden change is terrifying. I don't know how to get out of the house without him noticing and if he notices he's going to have another huge breakdown and I will completely shut down. I don't know what to do. Do I just wait til tomorrow maybe? Or do I stay and try to work it out?

What's it like at one of those places? What do I need to prepare for?[/INST]Shelters/ DV center/ Agency</s>",1
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>They sent me home again, and there is this void, or emptiness because I've been so isolated from all people.  He is the only person I know who can help.  I can barely walk, it hurts to breathe, and no matter how I lay I just can't get comfortable.  And I have no one to turn to but him.  He made sure that I have no friends, I haven't talked to my own children in 2 years.  He keeps telling me how cold it is outside and how he will be forced to sleep under a bridge in the frigid cold.  The DV shelters run at half capacity because of COVID.  So all I have is a hotline, and that's no relationship.  So it's easy to go back to what I know, which is him.  At least then I'll have someone to talk to and help me heal.  This time it was my tailbone and my ribs.  I can't even use the bathroom and wipe my own 'area'.  The tears just won't stop.  How do you reach out to people and make friends?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>We come from different cultures and although I don't regard myself as a particularly culture-oriented person, my partner is very patriotic about his identity,language and culture and a die-hard fan of music from his people. This is to a point that he has zero tolerance of food or music from other ethnicities and culture and is never up to try anything new. 




He is abusive and violent and we are kind of going in our separate directions, at least he is. I feel cheated by myself for still have such strong feelings for him, to a point that I would readily accept him back if only he acknowledged his mistakes. Which is never happening, just to be clear. 



I find myself wondering if he would've treated me more human had I spoken his language, had a nice voice wherein I sang songs in his language and made food for him that he liked??? 



I hate to admit this but I feel like, when he does get serious about a woman after me or wants to put a ring on her, he will make sure she is from his culture and  won't treat her this badly, the way he treated me, because in his head we were partners. And not spouses. 



I'm saying this because I have seen him flirt with woman from his culture online and he turns into the nicest man, asking them how their day was, listening to them yapping about mundane things and responding in their language. Whereas when I would talk to him about my feelings, the response I would get would be ""you are talking too much"" 



I honestly feel degraded and humiliated, because I tried my very best to make this work, giving him chances time and again to sort himself out until it dawned upon me that it boils down to his people and others. And I probably come under others. 




The realisation was very painful and brutal, considering I spent 6 years in an abusive relationship, only to know that in his eyes I would never get the better version of him, only because I don't come under the category of his people. And because we both use a second language( that both of us are fluent in) to communicate with each other. But I guess at the end of the day second language can never replace mother tongue. And that's that.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>It's done, I've signed the paperwork for a new place, there's no going back, and I'm freaking out. I'm actually doing this. The anxiety and guilt are nearly overwhelming. How will partner get her medications? Get to doctor's appointments? Get food? Do anything?

Just keep telling myself she's an adult and not my responsibility. Not my responsibility. Not my responsibility.

What about the pets? I'm prepared to leave everything I have except them. But what's best for them? They're going to be upset either way; they love partner, they love me, they're going to be really upset without both of us around. Partner would never, ever hurt them, and will be destroyed if I take them. I do a lot of the work taking care of them: feed them, clean the litter box, take the dog out, clip nails, baths, but I know partner will step up to do the things. And honestly, I think they might like her a little more than me. They're used to me leaving the house, partner is almost always with them. But I do worry about her ability to provide for them, with no job and possibly no place to live. And, again, she'll be devastated, might even make trouble for me over them.

I know this is the fear/obligation/guilt I've been programmed to feel, but damn it's strong.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>hi all. i have been in my relationship for 7 years, beginning at age 15. It is the first relationship I’ve been in.

Other than outright abuse, one thing that has come from our relationship is that sex is never about my pleasure. We do what he wants, when he wants, for as long as he wants, always. He says it is my job as a woman to serve him sexually, and that no man would ever please a woman without expecting something in return.

Can someone who has been in a healthy relationship tell me if this is the case? I am debating leaving, but I really can’t wrap my head around what “normal” sexual dynamics should look like. Is sex really supposed to be so currency-like? It seems so depressing if I will really never be valued besides what my body can provide. I read romance novels and they show it differently, but that might just be unrealistic.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I’m in the process of getting things organized so I can leave my abusive husband. We have been married for 5 years and have two kids, with one on the way. I can’t help but feel so sad for him. He has no clue what’s coming. I on the other hand have had time to process everything. I know he’s going to hurt and cry and miss his kids. He needs help though and I’m tired of being continuously put down in front of my kids, degraded, and financially abused. I cry just knowing the news is going to hit him like a freight train, but I know this is what’s best for my kids and myself.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>> *POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING*

Has this happened to anyone else? I ended up experiencing  what I think was maybe reactive abuse the last 4/5 months of the 3 years we were together. After years of name calling, being pushed up against walls, things being broken, arms grabbed, told women like me deserved to be hit, etc. I finally snapped one night and hit him after being yelled at and cornered for an hour or so. I don’t even really remember what happened besides him telling me I’m ugly, no guy would ever want me, and he could have any girl and if I left I would regret it. I immediately felt like sh** and apologized and he was like see its you you’re the problem. Maybe I was I’m unsure. I just noticed the last few months after attempting to go on a date and not being able to follow through with another. I can’t trust anyone and now I don’t even know if I trust myself. I was okay the first 9 months, but all of a sudden lately I just feel depressed, I have no sense of direction, I don’t think I trust anyone. I dream about the last 3 years sometimes. There’s a lot more gorey details. But, I just wanna know if anyone else felt like this and what they did to overcome it. If possible. 

edit: to add trigger warning[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I know so many people in domestic violence situations say “it will only happen once” and stay longer than they should, but has anyone ever stayed and it ACTUALLY never happened again? Anyone ever stay with their abused and have them change and be better and have it not happen again?[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I'll try to make this quick: had to make an emergency move out of state and broke up with my narcissistic ex almost a year ago because his abuse escalated from emotional and financial to sexual and physical. He has verbally threatened to kill me before if I was with anyone else and also put his hands on my neck while enraged.

I have been completely no-contact since September of last year. The line of communication is 'open' on his part as I have no physical evidence of his assaults and he's dangerous so I try to stay safe in case he threatens me again. Over the course of the last several months, he has:

Sent me multiple, very long paragraphs of texts trying to win me back including unsolicited flight offers
Sent me unsolicited videos of him &gt;! masturbating to me!&lt;
Sent me erotica he wrote about &gt;!raping!&lt; me
Sent 11 gifts from a wishlist I gave him years ago to my parents address which is in the state I moved to
Moved to a house in the area where I grew up. I kid you not, it is only a couple of blocks away from the high school I attended (we met shortly before I graduated)

When he told me he moved to that neighborhood, I knew it was manipulative since he never wanted to be there when we were together, but I didn't know just how close it is to places I used to frequent constantly. If I were to ever visit again, the possibility of him seeing me is now extremely high.

My family, current partner, and I all thought his behavior and obsession (fam only knows about the repeated texts and gifts) would decrease because that's what's supposed to typically happen with a narc. This is far beyond normal narc behavior.

He texted me the other day saying he ""found"" a few more of my belongings during his move and sent it over to my parents address again. It came last night. In the package was my perfume that he kept the entire time, some clothes, gummies, and most importantly

**A 10-page letter.**

In the letter he states: ""I know for a fact that deep down inside you still have feelings for me,"" **""I would do almost anything to be your lover again,""** and ""Even though you're not here, this place is ""OUR"" home. If you ever start missing home, feel free to come back."" He very clearly detailed where the house is, which is now confirmed like I said to be right by my old high school.

He is going on 54 and I just turned 22. By definition his behavior seems to be stalking (repeatedly making unwanted contact, harassing, etc.) but it's also apparently non-criminal: ""Non-criminal behavior could include sending letters, delivering unwanted gifts, or making phone calls to the victim. These behaviors are considered stalking when the victim feels they are threatened and are fearful.""

He seems to be a rejected stalker subtype and apparently they typically escalate to being violent and trying to enact revenge as their attempts continuously fail, but I'm also scared that he'll retaliate if he gets sent an RO. Am I overreacting? I just don't know anymore.

And yes if it isn't obvious already, I've tried all of the ""obvious"" things like telling him to stop. I'm sure you guys know how well that goes with these types of abusers though.[/INST]Safety planning</s>",7
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I have been in a physically and mentally abusive relationship on and off for years. I finally hit my breaking point this past weekend. I had voice recorded the last time it happened so that I had proof if I needed to do something about. Of course , because it’s so normal I forgot about it. When he becomes abusive physically he will start to distance himself from me as if it is my fault that we are not getting along. I will try and try to talk through things to no Avail. Until I hit my breaking point. I have extreme anxiety of being abandoned and left alone . As he has discarded me many times. I couldn’t even handle life when he would ignore me. So I was calling and texting him while he just acted like I was crazy. Eventually , I got a call from a police officer saying I cannot call or text him anymore or he was going to press charges on me. 
I wasn’t shocked but it struck me in the heart just the same. 
I decided enough was enough and I reported the abuse that I always try to protect him from. For years and years. When he has never protected me. 
I have a problem with anxiety. I had a panic attack at work out of nowhere and had to leave work because of all of this. I ALWAYS think, if we can just talk about this, I won’t feel bad anymore , something we discuss will make me not feel bad anymore and I can get some kind of closure. No
I went to his job ( I used to work there so it’s not uncommon) to ask to speak about this. 
He was acting like I came to murder him. Which I have never ever touched him before. 
I couldn’t believe it but also yes I could. He’s a good actor. He basically told me to fuck off or he was going to call the police on me for speaking to him. 
And then he did. But I had left way before that. 
I feel ashamed for thinking that I can make this horrible trauma feeling go away. I feel like an idiot for going to talk to him as I feel like it just makes me look like I’m the bad person here. 
Thank you for listening.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>

My partner had a tough childhood and doesn’t have much family. I want to get out of the relationship but I feel really guilty about it. 

He’s currently upset that I’m not as affectionate or nice as I used to be and that I haven’t been for a while. That’s true because things have been very difficult between us. Instead of feeling in love - I see him as a threat. Even when I try not to.  I keep having flashbacks of him yelling and waving a gun around. 

He threatens suicide every time I bring up something I’m unhappy with. Especially if I say I want a break or to leave the relationship. He says I’m all he has and he understands why I can’t handle being with him because even his mom can’t deal with it. 

I don’t want to leave him without anyone to turn to but I’m unhappy and tired of living waiting for the next blow up. We’ve been together for years and I financially support both of us right now.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Police took pics of my black eye, bruised nose, scratched face, felt bump on back of head, I made a statement, went to urgent care to get checked and xrayed, contacted haven house for emergency TPO. Abuser is now texting and calling my sister saying they’re going to send me to jail too saying they had “scratches”. But I know they haven’t done any of the above things I mentioned and my sister went to the apartment to get stuff for me and saw their face and it was fine. Won’t they be able to see who the real victim is?? I’m scared to get in trouble too. When the police came the night it happened they “couldn’t identify the aggressor”. I didn’t do my statement that night and did after I went to the doctor. I’m not at the apartment anymore. They’re still there and I’m displaced. Shouldn’t it be obvious?? Thank you I’m advance.[/INST]Legal</s>",2
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I am still with my abuser - there is no physical abuse ,just verbal and emotional, he gets extremely angry to the point where it's terrifying.

He's so hard to leave because my entire family loves him, they think he's amazing - anytime there's and argument between us my own family defends him.

All my friends now love him too along with his own buddy's.I feel like if I leave him I'll lose all my friends, family members even said if it doesn't work out that he can still visit them (this was probs just a poor joke but it's got to me)

I just don't get why everyone is so in love with him and I'm the only one afraid of him and terrified to tell anyone of the true extent of the verbal and emotional abuse.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I've been seeing a guy for around 2 months. I see him regularly. I met him via mutual friends. At first I couldn't stand him but he was persistent and I ended up liking him. This is while I was supposed to be taking a break from dating/guys. We haven't slept together but have done other stuff. We also have movie night and do cute things together like cooking, cuddling, and sexual stuff etc.

&amp;#x200B;

His DV related history:

He has restraining order on him from previous long term girlfriend. He mentioned something about strangulation regarding the order as well. He told me it's all lies and that he never hurt her and loved her. He has court coming up for this at some point. He is being minored via ankle monitor. He basically just goes to work and then go home.

&amp;#x200B;

Texting too much, being possessive, jealous and not giving me space:

He sometimes tells me he feels this is too full on, that we should just be friends longer, but I feel like he kind of goes back and forth. Like he told me recently ""we're already kind of going out."" and ""I don't want you doing sexual things with anyone else."" but then makes comments saying ""Oh this is getting a bit full on."" then he takes it back. I don't understand this.

&amp;#x200B;

I am not full on. I love my space. He is the one who is full on from what I've experienced so far. This makes me feel not good. Like I'm not worthy of proper relationship with him, and that it's because I'm doing something wrong. He also texts me too much sometimes and then also what seems to be guilt tripping me when I don't want to stay over his place or when I need space.

&amp;#x200B;

He is also jealous when I hang out with male friends even our mutual friends. He asked me if I'm having sex with one of them. I'm not. Each time I need space he asks if I'm sleeping with guys. He called me a cheap sl\*t the other night, said that if I like male attention so much I should go be a prostitute,  then told me I took it wrong way, that he just didn't know how to express his feelings. He also said ""I don't know what you're getting up to when I'm not here. I'm not here all the time."" ""People have told me things about you. That's why I'm asking."" I asked him who, he wouldn't say and just got angry at me for asking who, said I'm being suspicious.

&amp;#x200B;

I have also found myself reacting to him and being nasty back, which I know is not healthy. I told him if he's going to call me a sl\*t I will go be one, which I know is immature and not healthy. I was sick of hearing it. That just made him worse and more paranoid about it.

&amp;#x200B;

Calling me names like bipolar and crazy, bitch, ect:

He also calls me crazy and bipolar sometimes too. He asked me ""If you're going to be my gf you won't be crazy right.?"" I told him it's better to not actually date as we already have issues. He called me a narcissist the other day.

Age difference (not sure if this matters.): I'm 29. He's 37. So he's 8 years older.

Drug and alcohol use:

He drinks often and sometimes smokes meth. I do not drink or do any drugs at all.

&amp;#x200B;

Different rules/double standards:

He seems to have no issue flirting with other women in front of me sometimes. I don't really even react to it.  He was flirting with his lawyer while seeing me, which she put a stop to straight away. She told him no. He was hitting on female friend who drove him to work. He hit on another woman other day, as well. I was there, and I assume he thought I didn't hear. I can only imagine how angry he would get if I did the same with guys.

&amp;#x200B;

Once his possessiveness came up that's when he asked to be exclusive. Are these red flags? The positives about him is how protective he is and he always cooks for me or buys me food. He's also sweet with my cat. When he's nice he's just a teddy bear. He was arrested the other day for not charging his ankle monitor (dv related) and the space has given me more time to think about this whole thing and how unhealthy it is.

&amp;#x200B;

I'm going to end this as honestly it makes me feel horrible about myself. I'll try to just not speak to him at all even though I come across him regularly. I've tried to end this before and he always makes a deal of it.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>This is my second time posting from this throwaway account. I don’t want these posts to come back on me later so I don’t post them from my true Reddit account. I posted last week about my relationship, and invite you to read that to get some context. 

I’m unsure if I’m posting this in the right place, because he doesn’t hit me, and I don’t mean to undermine domestic violence victims, so I will apologize in advance if I mistakenly posted in the wrong place. 

Basically, he’s been hiding my things from me to keep me from leaving but walks us into arguments that 1) make me want to leave and 2) when I do leave for a day or so to avoid others hearing us argue, he uses that against me later and questions my commitment. It’s all a mental game that he plays. 

I FINALLY found my other car key (he hid it 6 weeks ago). What ignited me to find it was when he put my other key in the washer with the sheets (I have been sleeping with my key under the pillow so he can’t take it in the middle of the night without waking me up) the key that he washed is fried and if I didn’t find the other I would be trapped. 

I plan on working through the rest of the week and the weekend and departing for good Monday afternoon. Yes, we can keep the peace until then. I need the time here to make sure I have all my belongings out of the house and to create a coherent plan that allows me to leave without EVER having the urge to come back or answer his calls once I’m gone. He has a history of baiting me into coming back. 

I guess what I’d like to know is, other than having as much cash as I can possibly gather, what else should I do before I go? I’ll have my clothes &amp; important documents. Changing my phone number isn’t an option. But I’ll gladly block him. 

Is there anything else I should have in order? Are there some goals I can set to make sure I avoid him for good? Is there any advice anybody could give me? 

Thank you guys for reading through my rant and thank you for any help that can be provided for me.[/INST]Safety planning</s>",7
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My wife swung a full tea kettle at my head multiple times. In my mind that is enough. We've been together for 12 years and have had our share of arguments, shouting matches and days-long separations, but nothing like this. The deeper issue, I feel, is exemplified by the fact that I had to leave and figure out somewhere to stay. It's been 4 days now and I just slept in a friend's garage. Tried staying with another, my only other real, friend but he came down with covid. I'm lost and angry and as sad as I've ever been even after a lifelong battle with depression. I can caveat all this with; when she started yelling at me for being distant I was calm but not nice, but that doesn't come close to rationalizing the outcome. I can also add that since the birth of our son she has experienced increasingly more severe PMDD episodes, which always lead to her yelling at me. I have tried to be understanding but other than getting on Prozac (which helped a little for a while) she has made next to no effort to mitigate these episodes, maybe 5 therapy visits and another prescription that she only took one day. 
It hurts to think of leaving. It hurts to think that she'll probably blame me. I'm certain that mental work has already started based on the article she sent me ""help, my husband made me so mad that I hit him,"" which never even addresses the hitting part. And our kids are better off with me in my house, at least right now, but I feel powerless to change the situation.
He have an appointment with a marriage counselor and I can't bring myself to even talk to her till then, but that's a week away.
I just don't know what to do.

Tl;Dr
Wife tried to bash my head in and kicked me out of the house. Pretty sure she thinks it's my fault[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I’m her co worker but I can’t stand the “ I fell again” statements when it’s clear this guy hit her again. I’m sure she gets abused because of her husband’s obviously aggressive nature. I’ve talked to her about her bruises and stuff by she’s not keen on opening up. 

I need some advise.

Update: she eventually left him and she moved to a different city. We talk regularly and she seems to be doing well.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I'm not going to go into my abuse in much detail at all because that's not the point of this post and I don't want to make it uncomfortable to read. Long story short, I'm 27 and living with my family, they're  some pretty bad and manipulative people who want me to stay here forever despite not appreciating anything I do and treating me badly. It's too bad for them that I just bought a cheap apartment some states away next to some people I know and trust.

More than anything else in the world, I want to be free and I want to use that freedom to become a much better person than I am now. I've been doing too little for too long, I have a fair bit of savings which is why I do not fear much for my financial situation in doing this as of right now but what I do fear is getting away unnoticed and getting away with all of my important things which isn't much but let me just lay my plan out for you guys and maybe we can see if it can use some tweaking. 

First of all, I pay the phone and internet bill which I obviously will not continue to pay after leaving. If worst comes to worst, I can just put it on a credit card I've been given by a family member to pick stuff up at the store from them which I never use anyway because they always expect me to pay with me own money. Is there anyway that instead, I can get some sort of prepaid card that will pay those bills and put a couple months worth of money onto it? I'm not sure that's possible or if it could be used to screw me over if the card is under my name or something. 

Another thing is making it out of my house with everything. I don't have my own car but I am renting an SUV for the trip so I can fit everything. I live upstairs and we have some doors that make noise when you open and close them. I am going to have to come in and out multiple times to get everything into the car. They'll notice if stuff starts going missing from my room earlier so it's not like I can box stuff up and hide it earlier. This is the part I'm the most afraid of, I don't want to get caught in the middle of leaving and I can't think of any other way to go about this, I even have a fairly big and heavy PC that I'll need to get out of the house along with some monitors and other equipment. This is not stuff that I can just leave behind. I am not really sure how to go about this without waking someone up and at least being checked on. I already have my Social Security, Passport and Birth Certificate btw so at least I don't have anything to worry about there. 

I also am not sure about changing my address, I know it's an easy process but right after doing it, don't they send you a big letter that says something along the lines of ""address change"" on it? I don't really get much important in the mail because I do pretty much everything online but could they possibly use that letter to get my mail sent back to their house? I'm not sure how that stuff works. 

I basically just want help with the planning for this if anybody has better ideas or tweaks to the ideas I already have, I'm kind of just winging it.[/INST]Safety planning</s>",7
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>It’s been two years, almost three since the two incidents. I literally left to another part of the world. Yet they follow me . I’m in therapy and they’re less frequent but still present[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I’ve been in a physically, mentally and emotionally abusive relationship for 2 years now. 
My boyfriend started hitting me around month 3 of our relationship. The worst of which I bled for 30 minutes and required stitches on my face for. He has spit on me, kicked me in my uterus, slapped me countless times, pinched me, thrown drinks at me, hit my head against the wall and done several other things.

He has broken my phone, my specs, my straightener too before.

I am very sure I absolutely do not want to be with him but I’m scared he will do something and lure me in to being with him forever.

I don’t have the guts to call the police because I don’t want to cause a scene.
I am a medical student and so is he and I don’t really want this to affect either of our careers. For context, I am 22F and he is 25.

He knows where I live but my roommates don’t know I am still involved with him because we were supposedly broken up months ago. I don’t want him to come to my house and cause a scene because he has done that in the past.
And every time he lures me in saying he will send my nudes to my parents. My parents hate him and warned me not to be with him but I still was with him.
If I call the authorities, my parents will find out but if I don’t he will threaten and blackmail me and lure me in &amp; then I will keep having to face this trauma.
What should I do?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I'm not sure if this is even actually abuse, but everywhere I've looked says it is, and it's kind of destroying me. 
I don't feel like I'm being abused, actually. She mistreated me in the past, but things have been fine for about two years now with no real further incidents. She has made real efforts to improve her mental health, and improve our relationship. It's gone well, except.... well, the suicide threats. We are in a long distance relationship, and periodically she will just tell me that she's going to kill herself, and then turns off her phone. I really can't tell if she's just that mentally ill, or if I'm being abused again. If I was being given ultimatums I'd be more sure, but I'm not. She just.... 
Usually when we fight, the fight ends because she says she is going to kill herself, then she turns off her phone and comes back in the morning. Sometimes we aren't even fighting though. Today she was complaining about the ants in her apartment, and I started trying to give her advice. She says that the advice is overwhelming her, so she is going to go kill herself, then hung up and turned off her phone. She's still gone
No matter how many times she does this, it never stops sending me in to a panic. I am always terrified that this one is finally going to be it. I am powerless to do anything about it but sit by the phone for hours trying to stay calm and waiting for her to get back, sometimes crying off and on, but mostly just going into this numb third person view state. I hate this. I hate going through all the panic and pain of losing a loved one like this over and over again. It's killing me. I don't know how to explain how hard this is for me. I've lost someone to suicide before, and I have some not insignificant abandonment issues aside from that. She's posted suicide notes to her social medias, then disappeared for entire days before. Every time it's fucking devastating. I am destroyed every time it happens. And sometimes she does it because I upset her, but sometimes she does it just.... because. I didn't even do anything this time. I did nothing wrong this time, nothing that should have upset her. She didn't give me any ultimatums, or do anything controlling. She just... decided to plunge me into panic for whatever reason. It's the fact that she does this just in general that makes me so unsure if this is abuse or not. Is she just being severely mentally ill? Is she just hurting this bad? Is she doing this to hurt me?? Is that a self centered thing to ask? I just feel lost, hurt, scared and confused. I need advice. About what to do about this. About if this is even abuse at all in the first place. If it isn't, then I'm sorry for posting here. I just didn't know who else I could ask about this, I don't want anyone in our real lives to think ill of her, but I needed to ask someone. Is this an abusive behavior? Or is this just a mental health crisis? Am I being selfish about this??  Please help me[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>It’s been 3 months since I left my abuser and the holidays have taken a toll on me. I’m 24 and met him at 19 since I’ve spent every Xmas and new year with him. He was so sweet for almost 3 years and it constantly makes me question whether I was actually abused or not or if I’m over exaggerating the abuse. What if I did provoke him or push him to become that way. He would push me, talk down to me and even cut me once and he’d make me feel like I needed to apologize even when he was being mean or unreasonable but on the flip side of that he was always supportive and did everything for me. My mind knows that it was abuse so why do I keep questioning it. Why do I miss him, why am I jealous of his new life. And why does it hurt that he’s forgotten me. I feel like an idiot.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I’m not in a physically abusive relationship, but it can be one that’s very verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive. I’d like a place to talk about it.[/INST]DV survivors network/ (Online) support groups</s>",11
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>This is my “secret” Reddit account he didn’t know about. So hopefully I am safe to (vaguely) post about this. I just want support, reassurance from someone who’s been in my shoes..

My ex was absolutely afraid of abandonment, so I stayed for years and excused his horrible behavior. I had loved him. But. he finally snapped when I tried to leave.

I’ll skip the details because I’m not really ready to talk about them. But after a very violent night, I was left with a concussion, strangulation, broken bone, and cuts/bruises all over. I did everything I could to just calm him down from the start, but it was a horrible, several hour assault.. I secretly called 911 when I could, and now he’s in jail with several charges including felonies. He has also broken the protective order several times, from jail. So about 10 charges.

I am scared for whenever he gets out. I think he might have killed me had I not lied and agreed to stay with him. (I am absolutely not staying with him). The forensic nurse told me I was lucky to live. he strangled me so hard I passed out and peed myself..I am hoping and praying he just leaves me alone and never talks to me again. 

I have been incontinent since it happened.. i have peed myself randomly and I feel so embarrassed. My head is foggy and I feel confused. I keep forgetting things- left my door wide open until a neighbor came to tell me. Don’t remember opening it. My throat hurts and it feels like I’m breathing through a straw. My body hurts. I feel so much pain and so much loneliness. 

I do have a great support system and advocacy. I just needed to write this out. I’m honestly nervous to have this information out on the web and will probably delete this soon. But any advice or reassurance from people who have made it through would mean a lot to me. Or just to have space to vent my inner fears and thoughts…[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I testified for over 4 hours today in a custody hearing before falling apart and getting emotional. I know I'm not supposed to get emotional on the stand, but I did. I got triggered. I got so frustrated. I broke down and cried. My ears started ringing. I had a hard time hearing questions. How do I take care of myself and recover? What self care works for such an extreme emotional response to talking about being abused and hurt in court?[/INST]Legal</s>",2
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I have 3 kids w my abuser I just left after 9 years. I can’t totally cut him off bc of the kids. Some days I wish I could. Recently he has been crying so much to me &amp; honestly I feel bad for him sometimes. I know he has no one else. We are super trauma bonded. Both had bad child hoods. But at the time I left I made up my mind. I wasn’t doing it to myself anymore! He proved over &amp; over he didn’t care about me or my tears! Now he cries to me, &amp; I feel heartless. Telling him you never cared when you hurt me, now your surprised I actually left !
Idk it’s hard actually having to deal with him. Sometimes I know it would be easier if I didn’t have to. 

Part of me feels bad. Part of me still wants to help. But he has to learn to cope without me. Idk it’s harder than I thought! 

(2 months free after 9 years) ❤️‍🩹[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I read so many times that ""you can't stop abuse by changing your behavior."" But in my case, my partner *only* gets verbally abusive and physically threatening if I do things he doesn't like (and says are ""abusive""). If I just don't do those things, everything is genuinely smooth, peaceful and amicable on the surface. He doesn't randomly build up to things or get triggered by anything other than me. Given that, it is very hard for me not to think it is all my fault and he is just reacting defensively to stuff I am doing. 

Anyone else have a situation like this?

I should add I never feel safe or supported during these ""good"" phases, because I am only behaving in an approved fashion because either 1-I am avoiding ""provoking"" his responses, or 2-I am just so emotionally burned out that I am disconnected and not engaging. This makes me think that technically a coercive framework is always ""active,"" even when things look peaceful, and this is really what people mean when they say you ""can't stop the abuse?""[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>
Possible TW - domestic violence. 

My boyfriend of nearly 2 years is a good person who provides for me emotionally and physically. He is so sweet and extra loving. He has hobbies and he works really hard. Except when he drinks/drugs. 

Ive known since the beginning that he does cocaine - and I believed him when he said it was occasional. I also know he binge drinks but it comes and goes in waves - or so I thought. Im starting to think he drinks at the gas station on his way home. 

In July of 2020 we decided to move in because the pandemic and we were always together. We had been out drinking that night. I dont know what happened or triggered it but I took a video during the event im about to mention.  (I have PTSD from my earlier life and black out traumatic events as a coping mechanism.) on the video i am hysterically crying and saying please stop while he screamed at me to get the fuck out and when I said something about S (his roommate who moved out that week -im sure by no coincidence) he said he doesnt give a fuck he will be as loud as he wants. There was a hole in the closet door when i woke up and the gun was not where it typically goes. I forgave him because i didnt remember it and i figured it must have been a fluke. 

Ff to December of 2020. I found out i was pregnant. We did not know what to do. I told him i wasnt sure and he wasnt either. H was asking hat i wanted to eat from Uber Eats and i said i didnt know. He broke a metal broom over his knee and threw it at the floor and said “you dont know anything do you.” We decided to keep it, but i had a miscarriage. 

Ff to April 2021. We share the same birthday and had just got back from pur birthday trip - which was lovely and we had no issues. We went to easter at my friends and then after we went out for a snacks. We ran into some coworker friends of his which prompted me to ask him why they lived in a shitty apt when I know how much they make and im sure they can agford better. I could have phrased it better but i was just asking, like maybe they have debt or maybe they have expensive hobbies. He started screaming at me in this super fancy restaurant. Everyone looked at me. I finished my food and went to find him at the car but the car was gone. I called an uber with only 3% battery and some random person gave me a cigarette while i waited. I got home but had no keys so i paid the uber driver to wait with me. My boyfriend showed up and i went inside the garage but he locked me in there. He left and went to a bar after throwing a house key at me. 

Ff to 2 nights ago. He knockd over the coat rack on accident and it completely broke. I got upset (i shouldnt have) and he lost his mind. He started screaming at me and then threw a bottle of cleaning supplies at our brand new fridge and dented it. Which just hurts, i put my whole soul into making this a home and he just destroys it. So i got mad enough to call his dad. 

He left And i told his mom and dad everything. The yelling, the throwing, the punching, the drugs and everything above. I was on the phone all night with his mom and both his mom and dad begged me to leave him and said he wouldn’t change. I almost did- i loaded my car with everything and my dogs and i almost left but the hotel that allows dogs had no availability so i came back. He came back the next morning with the most dead eyes, no soul in them. He told me he was at his drug dealers house all night. 

I spent the whole day finding a veterans rehab with a bed that can take him. But he starts a new job in less than the length of the program so i dont think i can convince him. The job would be about 75% of our income and we live in a very expensive western city and that will be his excuse but if he doesnt go there arent many good options. He wont make it like this. Does anyone have a suggestion for me? Please be kind

Thank you for reading.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hi! 

So, I (F28) have been in a relationship for 11 years and married for 5. My husband (M33) loses his temper really easily, but it's been getting a bit worse since a couple of years. He yells when he is angry at me and throws tantrums and recently as soon as he gets mad he hits things, like his desk or anything he has at hand, before, he just slammed stuff if he got REALLY angry from a discussion but now is so easy for him to snap. In all our time together he has only raised his hand at me twice but never hits me, I (most of the time) think he will never hurt me but he uses the spanking excuse to ""hit"" me when he is angry at me, you see, I like spanking and slaps on my face but sometimes he takes it out of the bedroom and I don't really like it like that. Once, when we were having a big argument I didn't want to talk anymore, he was asking me something in a really rude way and I was trying to ignore him because he was acting mean and he got so mad he spanked me really really hard and it didn't feel good, I got upset and called him out. It was a hard slap on my butt and I felt hurt, I think he did that because he is ""allowed"" to and he took advantage and thinks is not as bad as actually hitting my face or something. I try to not be scared of him because I think there's no reason to but I've been thinking about it a lot this days and I've read some things about it that makes me question all of this. Overall he is the kindest, nicest, most considerate husband and I feel I'll never meet someone like him but when he is angry, everything changes.

I don't know if this is abuse or is this normal behavior? Are men usually like this? Is is possible he could really hurt me one day if he hasn't before? Should I be scared?[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>🛑UPDATED POST: SATURDAY NOVEMBER 13, 2021 at 5:51 pm 🛑

UPDATE HERE: I almost took my dog and left yesterday. He is angry and full of rage.

I swear he has been on a warpath since July when I sold an investment property and made over $700K. He is in a jealous fury.

He hasn’t hit me since August, when he hit me in the back of the neck and couldn’t walk for several days but his behavior, his attitude is getting worse every day.

Since July, he has constantly, several times a week, he has called me bad, really bad names and constantly calling me fat, nasty, old. He’s been on a warpath of rage.

Yesterday, I told him I was leaving (I know, I should not have told him)

He was enraged. All day. I was really ready to just go.

Just walk away. But I’m afraid of what he will do to me. When we first married, 2 months into our marriage he had me wrongfully arrested. I understand now. He wanted to make me afraid so when he beat on me, I wouldn’t call the police.

I told him a week before our 8th wedding anniversary that I was leaving him. Well, he was on his best behavior, being kind, talking nice then, we came home from being out on our anniversary, the next day, I woke up on and I heard the Lord say the moment I opened my eyes,

“He can do it again. Then take off.”

That very same day, he threatened to make up lies and put me in jail again.He raised hell from Tuesday November 2 until Friday November 5 until we had a friend come in town for the weekend. Then he was perfect.

Well, the moment our friend left on Monday, here comes his anger and rage. It’s non stop. He won’t even work.

Today, we ate lunch at a restaurant and he really showed himself. He acted like a fool, just an embarrassment and I was cussed out all the way home. He told me he was punishing me for wanting to leave him.

The past few months, The Lord gave me a revelation. Just 2 months after we were married, I heard The Lord say to me “Pray to be protected from your husband”.

I realized a few weeks ago, The Lord never told me any different. It’s been 8 years.🛑END OF UPDATE NOVEMBER 13, 2021 🛑

My husband is extremely, violently abusive.Tonight, he called me a fat, overweight bitch for the last time.Due to his pattern of abuse, he will become physically violent in the next day or so. It gets worse every time.  I’ve been going through this for 9 years.Children are all grown. Money not an issue.A shelter isn’t an option, I don’t trust them and I don’t trust the police.Im thinking of getting a hotel and hiring a lawyer. He will be absolutely devastated losing me.

Thoughts? How would you just disappear?How would you just leave?!

🛑 UPDATE: Thursday, November 11, 2021 734pm. 🛑So many of you have given excellent advice and I want to give an update of where I am with all this: It was suggested to me here to download and read, “Why does he do that?”. I’m only half way through the book and it has been eye opening. I’m getting answers and clarification that I have desperately needed. It was such a revelation, it was like a bright spot light went off. 💡

When my husband woke up this morning , he must have sensed something different about me, without me saying a word. It’s been yet another day of him acting out, blaming me for hours on end non-stop, putting me down, attempting to convince me that I am his problem. He is angry. Very angry.

While this went on all day, I remained at peace. I didn’t defend myself, I didn’t yell, I didn’t cry, I didn’t talk back. I just sat quietly, literally unmoved by his words/actions while he blamed me, cussed me, told me I was stupid, towered over me yelling/cussing or when he stood in the doorway and yelled/cussed. Before, I would defend myself and talk back, I would argue with him, I would cry…

So I told him that I’m not sure if we should stay married, I would give him plenty of money, a vehicle, anything he wanted from inside our home if he wanted to leave. That made him extremely angry. Big mad. (I know I should NOT have said that…)

Here is a concern: I saw a look today that I haven’t seen in years. I saw a look that says “revenge“. A look that says, “I’m going to pay you back for this because I’m losing control of you“. A look that says, “violence, harm, deception“. It was the same look he gave me 9 years ago, only two months after we married, and he had me wrongfully arrested, put a restraining order against me, making up lies, abusing me yet saying he was afraid of me (he is 5 foot 10 inches, 270 pounds, solid muscle and I’m 5 foot 4 inches and 124 pounds, calling me fat/obese). He left me abandoned, broke and struggling. It took a year to get through that legal and financial mess. I filed for divorce after one year, he then came running back home and yet here we are.

I‘ve read every comment here. Honestly, until right now, I didn’t take serious the comments that said “Don’t tell him you are leaving” or “Don’t let him know your plans”. I wanted to think in my mind that if he knew, he would be devastated and would change. The truth is, the only thing that came out of me telling him, it made him more revengeful and even angrier.

So I gave him assurance I wouldn’t leave him. And now I continue reading my book, getting more revelation, while gathering my important things, making my plans, hoping he doesn’t do something evil to me in the meantime. Like having me arrested again, crying he is a victim. I will say again, I’ve seen that evil look before. I‘m grateful this time that I have years of video and medical proof this time of his abuse.

🏳I’m never alone so I can’t call so does anyone know if you can chat with a domestic violence hotline so I can have some initial proof that can be documented, in advance, in case he tries to have me arrested again?Any other suggestion of a legal person/entity I can email/chat with to send documentation to help me?I‘m thinking he would do it just to “put me in my place” and to give him some time to gather expensive items from our home to sell then take off. I’ve hidden all the jewelry but that doesn’t mean he won’t find it. One of the items is a watch I bought him for $8K.

Thoughts??Advice??

&amp;#x200B;[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>For context…I was granted a one year restraining order 2 years ago. Last month, I asked for a second one after the abuse escalated and the controlling behavior got to a point I couldn’t even drive to work without him on FaceTime. At work. Couldn’t shit with the door shut. Couldn’t go to bed when I wanted. He has been depriving me of sleep for years. 

I was granted a 7 year restraining order this time. He tried to gaslight me and the judge, using my bipolar disorder against me. Said I was off my meds, that all he’s tried to do for 3 years was love me and I keep trying to leave him. The judge said she found me entirely credible and granted me that length of time. 

Not two weeks later, he filed a motion to appeal. Pretty sure he got the idea from YouTube. He doesn’t make a lot, his family is poor, and he spends all his money on drugs. 

I did respond to his motion with a picture of my face after he’d broken my nose in two places and just messed it up…I still had blood crusted on my mouth because it kept breaking open every time I opened it. I submitted the text from his mom (she never had anything to do with me except the last time I got an RO she convinced me to drop it. She did stay with us this past summer until he violently kicked her stuff down the stairs, got in her face, screamed at her, called her the c word. He’s vowed never to speak to her again-she really hasn’t had much to do with him either, so this was a violation of the RO), texts from him to my friends telling them I’m a liar and how he’s destroyed, how could I act this way after all we’ve been through. They’ve blocked him.  I’m sure he’s texted many more that I don’t know about. 

The hearing is on the same day as his status hearing-he was mandated to batterers counseling. He was super pissed about that. 

I fear he’ll come after me. I actually am afraid he’s followed me home from work, although he’s been banned from here after he stormed in trying to drag me out the day I escaped with the dogs and what little I could carry. 

Any words of advise or positively would be welcome. I don’t want to see his face again, and now I have to. 

This man has said to me that he’d hit me so hard, I’d never wake up. Knocked me out several times. My dv counselor told me he’s been raping me after I told her I never wanted to be intimate with him-I would give in. If I didn’t, there would be a huge blow up. Often, there was anyways, because I wasn’t into it. 

He has accused me of cheating every single day. Never let me out of his sight. Ever. 

It has been exhausting. 

Tell me it’ll be ok and she’ll make it permanent. This appeal is going before the same judge that granted the 7 year RO.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>The court system for DV victims is frightening, is it not? Particularly, for parents who are not permitted to escape their abusers.

One, often used, means of abuse is the threat. So, does the threat of returning to court count?

My abuser threatens police, third party, and court action if I do not respond to accusatory messages or adjust the parenting schedule (I never waiver from the parenting plan - ever).

And yet, I seek zero legal help.

The reason being, I'm almost sure the courts/police would not view these threats as legitimate.

Why?

Well, because the institutions I'd be petitioning for help ARE the threat. And courts have to uphold the notion that they are not an entity to be feared, right?

Furthermore, I've heard that the first person to pursue legal action becomes know as the ""up start,"" the bad guy, the frowned upon.

So, despite sleepless nights, fear, alienation, worry, and hours upon hours spent collecting and organizing preemptive exhibits, I take zero legal steps. I remain in a defensive position at a constant.

I often hear, ""Oh, just let it go. Don't worry about it. He'll never do thoes things."" And I wonder ""Well, how much evidence and money will I have, exactly, if I sit here and plan for nothing?"" My guess is very little.
 

So, instead, I work myself ragged in ""what if"" land.

I swear, I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. Threatened with the very system that might save me from threat. Gaah, when will this end!

This is a small piece of a very large puzzle:

Harrassment was discussed many times in court. He was simply told not to do it. We use a communication app, the defamatory remarks continue regardless. I never respond.

He currently slanders me via email (libel) to our daughter's councelor. I have no idea how this is affecting my professional relationship with this authority. Depending on the councelors experience, she'll either dismiss it outright or she'll adopt a negative view of me as a parent.

The physical abuse was addressed only during the first of six or seven hearings. He was ordered a psychological evaluation but did not comply. Our hearing officer never brought it up again.

He was non compliant at every hearing. Never submitted proof of therapy, firearms, refused to submit paperwork for our daughter, I could go on and on.

Yes, I had legal representation throughout.

He was eventually ordered one overnight with our child; very little time. But for how long? How long before he motions the court and our daughter becomes subject to more harm? She needs a father. I get it, I do, I remember the need very well.

She also cries, returns home confused or passing messages, and shows me that she feels unsafe in his home.

If you are in a similar position:

I am so damn proud of you. You should not have to bear this weight but you do. Your beautiful kids deserve so much more. Hang tight. I'm with you.

If you are being abused:

If you feel trapped, confused, manipulated, degraded, worthless, depressed, frightened, anxious, isolated.

If you've been pushed, yanked, tripped, restrained, pinned, blocked, hit, choked, threatened, stalked.

If you've had items taken from you, hidden from you, broken in front of you, next to you, over you.

DO NOT HESITATE. Get a protection order NOW! Yes, you probably love this person, you may stay with this person, but the day you leave you will thank GOD you gave yourself a means. Please.

A protection order that is sought late in the game, once proceedings are underway, will be viewed as retribution. Your request will be disapproved. It will be too late.

- Love Raving Mad Mommy[/INST]Childbearing</s>",3
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Am I the only one who feels like this?  I kept the abuse a secret so long that nobody believes me except the police. A couple of months ago he fractured my skull and beat me so severely that the police were begging me to press charges. I was scared so I didn’t. 

Flash to last weekend where he put a piece of cloth around my neck and strangled me until I almost passed out. I couldn’t take any more. This time when asked I pressed charges. He was arrested that same day but I feel like a piece of disloyal garbage. I love him deeply but I know he’s going to kill me if things continues down the path they were on. Any advice on how I can overcome this overwhelming sense of guilt for pressing charges?[/INST]Legal</s>",2
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Any time my husband becomes physically or verbally abusive ,(last night I got home and for no reason at all he started acting angry and aggressive and accused me of gross sexual shit within hearing distance of out 2 kids) and I confront him later about it....he will either 

A) says he doesn't remember. It's so convenient how selective he is with his recollections, and he really sticks with the ""I seriously don't remember that at all, it makes no sense!"" Schtick. He claims that with all the times he's hit and strangled me too, just can't remember 🙄

Or B) he will say ""what did I do wrong? Tell me"" and even tho he knows damn well what he did, ill tell him...only for him to ask AGAIN ""wait, so what did I do again?"" Literally minutes later. He played this game 3 times in a row last night, until I was like ""I'm not doing this anymore, good night""  and then he goes ""see? You can't even tell me what the issue is"" even though I've already told him THREE OR FOUR TIMES WITHIN THE LAST HALF HOUR. 

It gets me so frustrated I'm in tears,  is that gaslighting or something other tactic[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My sister has been ringing me every couple of weeks to say that her husband is upsetting her, yelling during arguments, yesterday she rang me to say that she felt like she was having a breakdown and that he was going to leave her because of her mental state. I could hear him in the background saying no I'm not. 

Two weeks ago she stayed at my house for a couple of nights because they had a bad fight because he told her that the miscarriage she had at the start of the year was her fault for not meditating and looking after herself. 

I've always withheld my full opinion of her husband since I want to be supportive and let her make her own mind up but yesterday I told her that his behaviour is abusive and she needs to discuss it with her psychologist and GP who she was going to see that afternoon. 

She said he's not abusive he just yells because he's upset about what happened. I said it doesn't matter why he's yelling it's not acceptable it's abuse. Two weeks ago she told me that when he yells she is afraid he will hit her.

They were due to start IVF after only 5 months of trying for a baby and that seemed like a colossal waste of money and a bad idea all round so I managed to talk her into delaying that. 

I've given her they keys to my house and have said she can go there whenever she needs.

How else can I support her? Should I keep pointing out his gaslighting and abuse or am I going to alienate her?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I’m looking for videos (YouTube etc) to watch. 

I’ve left my abuser, but I’m struggling to process emotions. I would like to know if you have recommendations for someone *after* leaving the relationship. In the aftermath so to speak. 

Most videos are about the escape, planning the escape or how to tell if you are a victim. I would like some sources for my current situation. 

Thank you everyone.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>
I’ve had a restraining order on him for almost 2 years now. He violated mine 2/6/20, 10/14/21, 11/19/21 and his other ex’s RO on 10/11/21. They sent me mail that he is being put on trial in family court for domestic violence. What should I expect in this situation with court. I’m not sure if they’re going to sentence him or what but would like some input.[/INST]Legal</s>",2
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My new bf and I go on vacation with his family a few weeks into the relationship - we’re all staying in a beach house with thin walls. One night, his alcoholic brother (33M) starts cussing his wife out and calling her names. 

We overhear him slapping her. I was horrified. My bf acted pissed, but he didn’t intervene. Neither did his parents. 

His brother storms out of the house to go for a night drive. Its 1AM and he’s been pounding vodka since 10AM the day before. At this point, I’m terrified. I tell my bf to go after him, and he gets up and chases him down with his car.

Suffice it to say, I was disturbed. I’d never witnessed domestic violence before and I couldn’t believe how none of their immediate family members moved to intervene. 

What’s worse is before we started dating, my bf playfully slapped my butt so hard I screamed in shock and pain all because I was declining sex. He was irritated but he tried to play it off as a joke. He barely even knew me then and we weren’t dating! The whole situation feels like a dealbreaker but I’m not sure.

What would posses a family to react this way to their sister in law getting abused?  
What do you think I should do? 
Is my bf likely to also be an abuser? 

TL;DR: went on vacation with my new bf and his family. One night his alcoholic brother was abusing his wife and no one in my bf’s family attempted to intervene. My bf never apologized for the situation later and it’s making me look at certain boundary crossing behaviors he’s exhibited (hitting me really hard on the butt when he barely knew me, and we weren’t dating) like he may be an abuser too.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Plenty of people have told me that I'm the survivor in my relationship. I'm even in counseling through a program that doesn't offer services to primary aggressors. But I can't seem to bring myself to stop trying to prove I'm the aggressor. I play endless devil's advocate.

For all the evidence I can provide that I am the survivor, I can always ""spin"" things in my head so that I'm the aggressor. 

I'm familiar with the DARVO thing, and my partner has always alleged either that I am the aggressor or that it is ""mutual abuse"" (I know, not a thing). But I just keep asking myself, ""Wait, am I the one doing DARVO? Am I actually ""spinning"" the evidence when I believe I am not the aggressor?""

Primary aggressors seem to proceed through life with extraordinary denial and confusion, truly believing they are survivors. If they can be so deeply fooled by their minds, how do I know I am not being fooled by mine?

Anyone else have a hard time with this? If so, do you know *why* it is or was so hard for your brain to accept that you are the survivor in your case? I have read so many clarifying resources and still am confused every day.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Question about divorce lawyers. How often do you expect to hear from your lawyer? I paid the retainer in November. She submitted paperwork but it was only accepted by court in middle of December. I emailed multiple times. She didn’t get back to me. Finally I looked at court website and found case management conference scheduled for May. I emailed and begged for update and ask what does case management conference mean and she said to call. I spoke with her. She asked for info, but didn’t tell me what the terms meant. I spoke with her Jan 14. It’s Jan 30th. How long should I wait to hear from her? 

I get that she isn’t my therapist and I don’t need hand holding. But I am going nuts not knowing when I will get paperwork. Not knowing when this hell will be over. 

TLDR: paid retainer November, lawyer never answers email, the summons paperwork still hasn’t been mailed to me. Is this normal for lawyers?[/INST]Legal</s>",2
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>
I think that’s the reason my husband would hurt me and then when I bring it up he acted like he didn’t know what I was talking about or he would say he didn’t remember him doing it.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I’ve been in a volatile and abusive relationship for years. Psychical violence, control, and spousal rape. Oh and of course gas lighting like none of this has never happened to me. It’s been a while since things got physical. About over a year honestly. The spousal rape happens more often. 

We broke up for a summer and when we got back together and he found out I had slept with other people he pretty much chummed it up to me cheating and being dishonest the whole time. So to him I am a liar through out the relationship. He no longer has anger issues because you know justified behavior for being a “whore”. 

Last night he was drunk like drinking for about 8 hours straight drunk. He got in my face and started telling me that all I did during our relationship was choke on dick. He told me on one would take me in because no one loves me. I snapped. He was in my face and saying things like I deserved to be screamed at all night. At this point I was kicking and pushing for him to get away from me and verbally screaming this. He got directly in my face and I close fist punched him in the face. 

I’ve never done anything like this and I feel disgusted in myself. I know what I did was wrong. I came back to his place today and cleaned up the drunken mess for an hour. Cleaned up all his blood etc. (I don’t know if I actually made him bleed because it seems after he left he punched a bunch of walls). 

Leave before you do what I did. Leave before you lose yourself. Don’t stay until you have lost yourself completely.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>He’s an abusive alcoholic. Emotionally, financially, and sometimes violent. I can’t live like this anymore. He made us move across the country from my friends and family. He won’t let me talk to my family, and makes rude comments when I talk to my friends.

I have no job, no money, no support system, three kids, and no solid proof of his abuse. We had childcare because I was in school but he made me fire her. I literally have no one. He’s said before divorce him he’ll destroy my life. I’m stuck aren’t I?

Edit: I should add he is a wealthy attorney but has racked up a bunch of credit cards in my name, and hides most of his money in a business account. He’s told me “my business has a lot of money but I don’t” so basically I probably wouldn’t get any money to help pay our expenses and I’d be saddled with about 100k in debt.[/INST]Finance</s>",8
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I have somewhat recently gotten out of a mentally and verbally abusive 2 year relationship. We did live together, and most days I feared him waking up because he was constantly in a terrible mood/would throw things/yell at me/hurt himself and blame me/blame everything else/etc. 
I’ve moved on since then and have started seeing someone new. He’s very sweet, very respectful of my boundaries and consent, etc. Yesterday he was in a bad mood for the first time since my knowing him, and I immediately got skittish. I’d had no doubts about this guy before, but now I’m incredibly nervous, even though I’m trying to accept that moods are just part of human nature. I know many people get sullen when frustrated or loud when agitated (myself included), I just immediately go back to being stuck in the house with that behavior. I’m going to give him another chance, because I feel like I’m not being rational. 

Does anyone have advice, or has anyone been in something similar?

EDIT: Also, we’ve been talking for about a month and seeing each other for three weeks. He knows about my ex. Should I bring up my nervousness and let him know that I prefer things to be talked out/things not to be yelled, or is it too early?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My boyfriend (39M) and I (30F) have been together for a little over a year , I moved across the country &amp; left my home &amp; family to a totally new state to be with him barely 3 months into dating. He has a good job and has supported us financially(rent,food,going out, trips) I have depression and have been struggling to adjust wanting a career change and having a rare chance to take time off to do it - I haven’t worked since I moved here. I have paid all my subs , car payment , phone etc over this time . But he has grown to resent that even though I’m on my way to a new career now literally a week or two away from a new job - he will go off because he feels I’m “taking advantage of him” - I am not that type of person and I try my best not to ask for anything but he’s always had a short fuse or hot temper and gets overwhelmed easily and has a lot of anxiety , and I really don’t like confrontation . I grew up with a stepdad who was similar lots of yelling and it intimidates me / triggers me. so I always figured I was just sensitive to our arguments . We have had several talks about being more open with me and not bottling up his feelings but that hasn’t changed much . We went out the night before thanksgiving and had drinks with friends at a bar (earlier in the day things were great we put the Xmas tree up and talked about getting a new tooth ornament because I just finished my dental assisting class) . Anyways we had a lot to drink and he seemed cranky the whole night sort of , we decided to leave the bar and he walked out about 3ft in front of me looking down at his phone. I stopped just outside the front door of the bar and our friends group caught up with us - said Uber was here and it was literally to my immediate left . He thought I was trying to leave him or “ditch” him at the bar … kept turning back to yell at me the whole ride home (even our friend was telling him to stop ) I didn’t respond to any thing he yelled . When we got back to our building our friends all went to one apt and I went to follow him because he stormed off - hoping I would be able to calm him or talk it out. 

I got back to the apt he continued to escalate himself - our pup does not like conflict she gets scared and shakes , I locked myself in our bathroom with the dog to try and calm her down . He tried beating down the door yelling asking me what I was doing in there - this is blurry to me I was drinking - idk why but I opened the door . He got in my face , grabbed my wrists and threw me to the ground with force . I scraped my elbow on the bed frame and as soon as I got up from the floor I went back to the closet with the dog and called 911 . Scared out of my mind he towers over me and the dog screaming in my face . The cops came 20 mins later and arrested him . He was in jail for 24 hours , he called me from jail and I told him I love him . I don’t want to press charges , we live together and I have nothing . I want us to get therapy and try to work through it . My neck has had whip lash for days my whole upper body hurts . I’m terrified to accept I’m a victim . He said the bail bond guy said I can recant or sign something to help so he doesn’t get charged and lose his job or go to jail.  I should ignore calls if detectives call … I don’t want to ruin my creditability. But I don’t want to aggravate the charges , I want to work it out . But I can’t let him get away with it - and think he could ever do it again . 

Has anyone ever been through the process as a victim I don’t know what to expect ? I need help .[/INST]Police</s>",4
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hope it’s okay to ask this here. 

I was in two separate relationships that I think may have qualified as abusive, but I’m not sure. I’m trying to work through these feelings now, being clean from hard drugs and cannabis and drinking very rarely (I have been using substances to blanket over many issues until recently)

The short of it is in both relationships, I was often a shithead. Drinking too often, being lazy, not cleaning the house or taking care of my responsibilities. No excuses there, I was wrong and not a very good boyfriend in those ways. 

But also in both instances, I found myself frequently being screamed at, having things thrown at me, slapped punched etc. usually because I had somehow offended them, a good example was when I expressed that comments were hurtful to me and I would like them to stop. This was put calmly, and ended with such screaming and slapping police were called. 

I have felt rather emasculated by these relationships. I’m 6’2”, well over 250 pounds and quite strong. Both women were about 5 feet tall and under 135 pounds. 

I have hesitated to call it abuse, because I was never really in physical danger. But as I work through it with a clearer mind, I am realizing the damage that’s been done.

Am I being a victim to avoid facing the realities of my own shortcomings? Did I perhaps push them to it, and thus must shoulder some blame? 

Don’t sugarcoat it, I would appreciate all input even if it’s “you’re being a pussy, get over it”.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>He was served a restraining order this morning and was told to leave immediately by the Sheriff. He refused. I then had to call local police to enforce it. He believes because I left the house after he attacked me that I should have to move out. He keeps saying that I’m the one who caused this. He even called the police on me when I told him I was outside the building waiting for them. He is the one violating the restraining order so he is going to jail. But it’s been 3 hours since I called the police and they haven’t shown up. I’m just tired of dealing with this. And I’m embarrassed that my neighbors have to put up with it as well. Ugh, I just needed to vent.[/INST]Police</s>",4
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My husband goes to court in a couple of days and I thought I was strong enough to show up for the hearing but I can’t do it. I’m not required to go to this one. This is where he will enter his plea. I’m praying he takes a deal so I don’t have to go testify. Personally I’m doing better not being able to see him and him being unable to contact me has left my life very peaceful. But when I think about seeing him in court my emotions range from guilt for putting him in this position to rage for the many things he’s done to me. The last three weeks we were together was pure unadulterated hell. 

I’ll just be glad when all the legal stuff is over and I can really focus on moving past the night terrors.[/INST]Legal</s>",2
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>After two months of around the clock care from my family, just as she was starting to improve, my sister has moved back to her house. She won't admit it to us but we know from other sources that he is living with her again.

What do we do now? Just wait for it all to go to shit again? What happens if she gets pregnant to him ?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hi everyone. 

I have an interesting situation, I’m not quite sure what to do and I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it.

Here’s some background info:

Me and my ex-girlfriend have continued to communicate after separating for around 6 months. 

Our separation was normal, no bad blood, never had any serious issues in our relationship. I have graduated and have been working full time for 1.5 years and she is still currently in college. Things didn’t work out for her based on timing and that’s totally understandable, other life challenges happened as well with family issues bringing stress on her emotionally. 

The incident: 

My ex phoned me a few nights ago, admitting to me that the new boyfriend she has hit her drunkenly. She was bruised up pretty bad. She told me this along with him being verbally abusive. 

I handled it the best I could in that situation, after the fact she told me she doesn’t want to tell anyone. (her friends know and contacted me) I talked it over with her friends and they are scared for her safety. Scared that he will do it again / have seen stuff happen. 

My feelings:

I feel as if I am trapped, I don’t know what to do being in the middle of this situation. I was told by her friends that I need to tell her family but I feel I would be overstepping or inappropriate on my end. 

I don’t really know what to do. 

Can anyone provide advice? 

Please feel free to ask me questions if you want more info. I’m new to Reddit but I just made a throwaway to conceal my identity.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I have two small children (under 7) and left an abusive relationship about a year ago. While the physical stuff has stopped, I’m dealing with constant, relentless emotional and mental abuse. We have 50/50 custody. He’s constantly telling me I’m a bad mother, that he’s going to take me to court for a myriad of reasons, has contacted my kids teacher to berate me, etc. Something as simple as forgetting a lunch box can lead to multi-day tirades against me questioning my mental health and my fitness as a mom.

There seems to be no legal recourse I can take to stop this.

Have others dealt with this? How do you handle it?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Can I get an opinion? And this is fresh so please don’t be mean because I’m sensitive and I just need to get this out of my system. Possible trigger warning physical abuse 

So my SO was sleeping beside me in my full size bed.. he drank tonight and sweats in his sleep when he drinks. Well he just really stunk honestly and his breath was terrible and smelled like alcohol and I could smell it. That’s a trigger for me and it really grosses me out. I tapped him and asked him to turn the other way.. no response, I didn’t wake him up I guess. So I shook him and he didn’t wake up. I shook him and talked a bit louder and he was irritated bc I woke him up but I couldn’t sleep this way and I have to wake up early for college. He kicked me but I thought maybe it was a half asleep thing.  I would like to add I have new ear piercings and I couldn’t turn the other way because of them, I can’t sleep on them. 
 Anyway he ended up turning towards me rather than the other way and I said no the other way and I told him his breath smelled like alcohol and it was making me feel sick. Well he got mad and started calling me names mumbling under his breath and didn’t move. I just asked him again “please turn the other way.” Well he ended up finally turning his back to me  and then continued to just say mean things and I told him I just wanted him to face the other way so I could sleep too. He turned around and spit in my face and continued to say mean stuff . I start crying and wipe his spit off my face. Well he does it again while im crying and he’s done this before. I slapped him because I was just tired of the disrespect. Bad idea. He grabbed my head and my ear and then hit me and then punched me in my head. I’m crying and he’s like telling me to stop basically. Hard to remember. He’s like acting as if I’m crying for no reason and telling me to stop and I’m scared he’s ganna hit me again so I can’t even stop crying. I have a bump on my forehead now but no one can see it. I am just really upset and I’m scared of him. I was honestly scared to wake him up but I wanted to share the bed tonight so I didn’t think me tapping him and asking him to turn the other way would end this way. I’ve had a lot of trauma that involved alcohol and the smell upsets me sometimes. ): I don’t feel justified for slapping him I just wanted him to stop spitting on me and verbally abusing m[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Here’s my story 

I’m tired of being quiet.

On May 31 around 9:30 pm I 35f along with my daughter left our home barefoot, her only wearing a tshirt and underwear. 
After being yelled at pushed and then choked In our front yard while holding her in my arms (she had just turned 3 a month prior)  he 38m claimed to have called the cops because he was worried about me taking his daughter since I was “drunk” 

(All this stemmed from asking him to put our daughter to bed.)

I have been gone since then, but even after leaving the abuse has not stopped. 

In June when he was dropping off our daughter at my parents house he demanded I give him the keys to our martial home. When I refused he barged into their home rummaged through my purse yelled at me threatening me in front of everyone including our daughter. 
I called the sheriffs. 
once realizing that I was actually calling them he left and cussed at my dad on his way out. Since then he has not been allowed over.  
The cops came and since he had left nothing was done. The only thing they could do was file a report. 
 
On July 21  7:00 Am he claimed our daughter was sick and he could not find her medicine that I had packed for her. 
I stupidly believed she was sick, so i decided to drop off medicine on my way to work.  
He opened the door and all I heard was silence. 
She wasn’t awake or sick like he had claimed 

That day I never made it to work. 
I was yet again pushed, this time I was pushed against the door ( thankfully nothing was broken)  yelled at.
Accused of having affairs with two different married men.
Accused of hacking his phone. 
All While being locked in a house against my will, 
He took my belongings. Keys, purse and phone. 
Some how our daughter slept through all of it until I was able to run out through the back door. 
Not having my keys or phone and not able to wave anyone down that drove down our road. I was unable to call the police. By the time he made it to the front porch he had Her with him as he yelled at me and accused me of making her go through this. He finally threw my keys at me and told me to leave. 
I went to the cowboys  and called the cops, but once they were unable to do anything because I left the house! Another report was filed

He still has my old phone. 


Since then the mental abuse and harassment has continued. 

Now, he has; 
Stated that him and his lawyer are wanting a paternity test because according to him all I have done since being married is cheat on him.  
Questioning If actually went to Mexico December 2017 for my grandmothers funeral. 

He is questioning why my family migrated to the U.S. 

Claiming I’m involved in a side business and that I have been forced into in. 

All of this because I Decided to not take anymore abuse from someone who claimed to love me. 

17 years of being with someone. 
And this is how it ends. 

Everything was great as long as he got everything from me. 
I have lost friends and time with my family because of wanting to avoid his tantrums. And wanting to avoid even the simplest things thrown in my face as soon as he had something go wrong.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My husband was forced to leave me and oir three young children because of his own decisions and actions. He had a police standoff and trashed our house and all my belongings. It was bad, my lawyer says it’s the worst he has ever seen, and it was not even the worst day we have had. 

The more space I get, the more I slip back into thinking that maybe he is sorry and we can have some kind of healthy coparenting situation build up. Saturday morning, his mom contacted me and gave me a list of some of his things he wanted, and said he was going to get a mutual person to drop off some of my things and pick up some of his things. I complied with 90% of the things, and found a few extras. I knew it wasn’t the end. I knew he had more of mine, and I had more of his. I thought it was the beginning of goodwill and a basic degree of communication that didn’t involve lawyers. I was goi g to allow a Christmas Eve visit despite the restraining order, and a few supervised video chats. I was being generous. I forgot I’m working with someone who doesn’t think like me.

He wrote our nanny a long text that I’m fighting him on every joint asset and dragging this out (all because I wouldn’t give him two of the items he asked for, one was in use at the time, holding drying Christmas gifts, and the other is not his, he seems to have forget the van full of items I sent with no questions). He ended up saying something like, “If she’s scared of me, she will have all of my things ready Monday and stop dragging this out.” I take this as a threat. “If you’re scared, give me my stuff.” Maybe I’m overreacting, maybe he is just frustrated, but I’m upset enough that I’m thinking of canceling the Christmas visit and canceling the video chats. Then I flip flop backwards and think that’s punishing my kids. They’re young, they miss him. Ugh. It’s so hard to know what to do[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>He signed off custody rights, the last thing he could use to control me. 
My lawyer called me this morning to let me know.

I cried for 30 min, I thought I was going to cry in relieve. I felt so sad(?) Not about him, but for the life I had imagined when I married him. 

I have been having flashbacks all day. It can only get better I hope.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>hi, i’m 20 years old female lesbian. i live in homophobic country, and in homophobic abusive household. my family doesn’t know about my sexuality and i don’t think i’ll ever come out to them because i’m 100% sure that they WILL ki*ll me they beat the fu*ck out of me for way less reasons (like looking at them in “disrespectful way”. i’m not allowed to get a job or even leave the house, so i’m looking for a way to make money so i can run away and live my life before they ki*ll me or make me marry some old man. any suggestions would be helpful. thank you for reading .*i can’t go to the police they don’t help or hiding in friend house*[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>How do I record the hitting without getting caught? 

I know I will have to leave sooner or later. I thought I could hold on for a few more years for the sake of the kids. He is very good with our 3 year old. He patiently teaches him stuff, reads books, plays with him attentively which I can't seem to do lately. Also I just need help with him sometimes, so I can take care of the baby. I wanted our 6 month old to also experience this fun dad, but things are getting worse. I feel the slaps are getting stronger and more often turning into punches. I don't have any bruises, yet. He's still in control, I guess. But I'm genuinelly afraid of him sometimes. Esp. when he's holding a tool or sth. 

The problem is I'm afraid he would take the kids. He is smarter than me. He knows how to get what he wants. He's also threatening my family. Like going to the police about my brothers ""appeal in a certain illegal herb"" and general threats of violence. I don't take that too seriously, cause he's always had a flair for the drama. He always exaggerates things... But I would like to leave them out of it. I already feel guilty for a whole bunch of reasons, I don't want my problem, my bad decisions, to affect them.

I'd rather leave the police out of it as well. I don't want it do get messy all around. Plus I don't have any evidence. I have a recording of one phonecall and photos of some bruises. But those could be said to have been caused by anything else. Having some solid evidence would just be the best solution. He is a smart man. He would know, that it would ruin him and that he could never get the kids. 

So how do I do it? What kind of secret camera? Where do I hide it? It's hard to predict the hitting. Sometimes it's just so unexpected, casuall. And when he's actually worked up, I don't really think straight... 

I want to do this smart. I want to be prepared. When I finally leave, I want to know, he can't take the kids. I want him to understand that if he wants to keep seeing them, it will be under my terms and that this is permanent. 

Today was a scary day. He slapped our three year old, cause he hit the baby. I'm heartbroken. I can't allow this. He thought it was educational, to show him, how he hurt the baby. He did agree with my arguments that it was wrong in the end, but I just know, this will get worse, when the boys start acting up when older. I want to protect them and make sure I don't lose them. 

Thank you.[/INST]DV report procedure/Documentation</s>",6
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I'm having a little bit of a freak out moment right now. My emotional abuser (with some physical and sexual elements, although less extreme than the emotional piece) is moving on with someone else. I've known about it for awhile but it seems to be getting more serious. I know he abused me but I'm so upset. I miss him and it hurts me to imagine him being physically and emotionally intimate with someone else, even though he cheated on me when we were together anyway. Idk I'm just feeling a lot of negative things. The girl seems really cool and sweet too. Someone I'd enjoy hanging out with irl and I can imagine them getting along well. I'm struggling to validate my own reality that it was even abuse, much less handle this as an extra update about the situation. One second I feel like I'm glad to be rid of him, the next I'm hurt and insanely jealous of his new girlfriend, wondering what she has that I don't.

I guess I just want to vent and hear if anybody else relates.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My husband (m33) and I (f31) have been together for just over 8 years and married for 5. Last week in the heat of an argument he attempted to strangle me. Luckily he let go before I passed out and ran from our home before I could catch my breath. He went to stay with a trusted family member who lives about 2 hours away so I knew I wasn’t in anymore immediate danger. At first I was in shock but right away fell into my groomed routine of blaming myself for not leaving him alone and forcing conversation when he is still upset. 

I couldn’t sleep all night, especially since I was trying to lay in our bed where the strangulation occurred. At about 4 AM I decided to take a chance and call the national domestic violence hotline to consult regarding my situation. The very kind and patient woman on the other line walked me through our history of abuse (mostly verbal and emotional but also some physical- primarily pushing) and help me understand that my situation was not going to improve and it was absolutely time to leave. She helped me understand the very strong correlations between strangulation and homicide and I just realized this was not some thing we were going to be able to come back from and would likely continue to escalate.

I left the next morning to stay with my brother on the other side of the state to ensure I was safe. I came back to my area and have been staying with my parents since. I am so incredibly lucky to have family support but it’s been hard to face them all when they saw these signs all along.

Yesterday my parents and I moved my stuff out of our marital home. I insured my soon to be ex would be with our trusted family member for the weekend so the move has been relatively smooth. I was able to file a police report and the officer told me he thinks there’s enough evidence for an arrest. In the beginning of the week I was really struggling with the guilt of contacting police and the possible consequences for him.

However with support of my family I was coming closer and closer to feeling comfortable with knowing that I needed to take care of myself and myself only at this point. Then yesterday when I arrived back into our home there was a note waiting for me from my soon to be ex with a half assed apology and a request to be “reasonable” with one another as we move through this separation/divorce process. Something inside me absolutely snapped and I realized just how manipulative this man was. For the first time I saw his words for exactly what they were, nothing more than a attempt to manipulate me into protecting himself instead of me. Once I was calm and no longer cursing at the world I called the police department and gave my statement with zero guilt for his consequences.

I know this journey is going to be long and painful but I truly believe I am doing the right thing for myself for the first time in a long time. I am hoping to find some support groups to help me get through this. Any suggestions/advice would be helpful.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>//TW : Abuse, Suicide, Romantic Abuse

I'm sorry if I make mistakes, English isn't my first language.

I created this account to remain anonymous (I have a main one) and I will only use it to post my story.

I am reaching out because of something a close individual of mine has been going through for too long. Let's call her H (F22). I have a lot of contextual clues to give for the story to be clear since there is a lot to say, I'm sorry about that and hope that it won't dissuade you from reading my story. First of all, we live in a muslim country.

She (H) is married to my brother that we will call K (M28), and the couple currently lives with my mother and I, we will call my mom M (F60).

My brother K is bipolar. He is now near his thirties and has no diploma, he isn't willing to try to work because he is also narcissistic and tends to believe the situation he is in is other people's fault, he is very sensible and never keeps a job because he doesn't like to have a boss. In the meanwhile, he isn't studying and relies completely on my mother M. He takes a medical treatment to stay ""stable"" : when he refuses to take his medication, he becomes even more toxic and it mostly falls on H's shoulders who has to take care of him while I'm at school and my mother at work. Even while ""stable"", he doesn't let his wife (H) work because he doesn't want other men to see her and since he stays at home all day he feels lonely without her and starts saying that he married her to get cured.

So, I will start by saying how my brother K got married with H.

DISCLAIMER : Being depressed or bipolar doesn't make anyone a bad person, and they are not the core of the problem we have with him. I am aware that how he acts is mostly part of how his personality/how he was raised by my mother M.

My brother K has always been hard to manage. Because of his narcissism, he expects special treatment from us (aka have any console he wants per example) and even if he receives it, it is never enough to him and keeps asking for more. Since I can remember (I am almost 17 and him 28) he always talked about how having a romantic relationship would cure him from his depression/bipolar disorder. While he had a few ones (with no marriage) that didn't end well, he absolutely wanted to get married so that it would settle the person with him. So my mother and my father had the idea to marry my brother K to a ""docile girl"" who would come from an underprivileged and religious environment, meaning that if she ever wanted to divorce the social backlash that would come from it would dissuade her. That girl ended up to be H, 20 at the time. After 2 weeks of knowing each other, of my mother making promises (that she would never lack anything would it be education or material things, that she would send them abroad after they finish their studies...), my brother assuring her that his illness is simple depression, they got engaged and the marriage papers were quickly signed.

My father was the one who was planning to pay for everything.

He died a week after they got married.

H got backlash from my own family that is pretty religious. They would say that she brings bad luck and all sorts of stupid superstitious shit. And it only went downhill from there.

My father didn't leave anything in anyone's name. In this country, heritage is distributed as written in the quran, meaning that pretty much everyone in the family gets their share with a lot of inequalities there and there (I myself being a female got half of what each of my brothers got). H then got nothing she was promised. Everything went downhill from there.

A few months later, my brother had a manic crisis. He would mistreat her, abuse her verbally and be very controlling of her, not letting her go study or work for herself. My mother M (who would also abuse her by threatening or ""reminding her of her place"") not wanting to deal with it anymore, found a way to rant a house for them both. Long story short, when H told M of how she would be treated (broken glass, chairs and tables being violently thrown around, how he would verbally put her down...), M didn't want to hear any of it and told H that it was her own decision to marry K. I still remember that day I was away, she called at night crying telling me that K went out at the beach and left her home after breaking a bunch of stuff. She was trying to kill herself by taking my brother's medication, and she wanted to tell me that she was grateful I stood up to defend her. She told me not to tell anyone about her tentative, but she thankfully also contacted her sisters that came on time to save her by getting her in the nearest hospital.

The doctors told us that if she got there a bit later than that, she would've been dead. Mom threw a fit and tried to hit H when visiting her, saying that H did all that to ruin her reputation and make her lose money (there isn't free healthcare in there). This all happened a year ago, and even if the abuse is still going on, H tries to endure it because she has nowhere else to go since her family isn't great either.

I post this story in hope of maybe finding associations or anything really that could help her get out of here. She can't work because of K and spends most of her days at home.

Thank you to anyone who read this far, I am truly grateful.

NOTE ASIDE : This isn't about me, so this is just a note aside if anyone would like to help me by making me aware of options to leave this family. I am almost 17 and will still be a minor when I'll get out of highschool. This whole story also had an impact on me, and I wish to leave this family ASAP. I'm trying to get a scholarship by having a good grade in my highschool diploma (idk if it's the right word, it's called BAC here). This is just to ask if anyone knows any options that could work for me.[/INST]Safety planning</s>",7
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My abuser had his sentencing in court yesterday. I wasn’t able to get the time off from work in order to attend via Zoom like I’d wanted, but my lawyer recapped everything for me which I appreciated. He didn’t express any accountability and made excuses for all of the things he did to me, which we expected. I’d written a victim’s impact statement and they read it aloud in court, and apparently it was very powerful. He said he’d written a letter too but left it at the jail, and after hearing what I’d had to say, he was glad he didn’t bring it. My lawyer said he’d said other things too, like how he loved me and had only been taking care of me, which made me laugh out loud. You don’t give someone you love multiple black eyes and a concussion or throw their phone away and make them lose their job or choke them out multiple times. It just goes to show what our brains are capable of as far as creating coping mechanisms and making up narratives, that he would convince himself that he loved me, when left alone in a jail cell. 

I appreciated all of the details from my lawyer, but the best news of all was hearing that he got the full 10 year prison sentence, which was the maximum for what he put me through. Maybe he’ll change, maybe he won’t. But this baby girl that I’m about to bring into the world won’t have to know him, and that makes me feel so at peace.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>TW: violence, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, abuse of children, homophobia, biphobia, forced outing

I (24F) have been dating my girlfriend (24F) for around 4 months now. We are both bisexual and have only dated men in the past. I developed a hunch after a few months that she had experienced something traumatic in her past, but I didn’t push the issue because I figured she would tell me when she was ready. She cannot take compliments and assumes they’re being said to make her feel better. She apologizes constantly. She never wants to be the one to make a decision and defers to whatever I want, even if I encourage her to choose something as simple as what restaurant for dinner. She’s dramatically more comfortable providing physical intimacy than receiving it, and even when she clearly wants to be intimate, she usually wants me to be the initiator. She behaves in the most loving way but is afraid to say “I love you” too soon. She shuts down well beyond standard introvert levels around new people, even though she’s talkative, goofy, and incredibly fun around people she’s comfortable with. She’s one of the kindest, most compassionate, most giving people I know, yet she is constantly terrified of accidentally “using” other people or taking advantage of me in some way. Mind you, she’s never spoken an unkind word to me, never been controlling, has a healthy support system of friends and is seeking a therapist. But she only ever seems to see the potential for the worst in herself.

So eventually, she did disclose to me what her childhood had been like. In her own words, her father was “abusive in basically every way.” He was verbally and emotionally aggressive to her, her brother, and their mother. He took his anger out by spanking the kids with a paddle to the point of bruises. And he smacked her mother across the face in front of her kids. While he has gotten “less bad” as he’s aged and hasn’t hit her mother (that GF knows of) in a long time, GF is well aware that he’s an abuser and his behavior was not okay. These are cycles she’s determined to break. Her brother, already raising a child of his own, is nothing like that.

All this information has come to a head recently as my girlfriend is not out to her parents. They think she “made a good friend” because she currently lives with them and won’t be financially equipped to move out for another few months (though her brother has offered his home if things go totally sideways.) Unfortunately her mother confronted her a few days ago and forced her to come out. It was a whole mess (family is religious/homophobic, GF and I are religious/not assholes.) Thankfully her mother realizes they cannot tell her father right now while she lives at home and still adamantly wants a relationship with her daughter. But I have no doubt that this big secret now being even closer to the surface (and her father) has been hugely triggering.

GF will not stop apologizing for having texted less frequently since the forced outing. Meanwhile, I am not mad—I am fucking proud of her. She comforted her own mother who should’ve been comforting her. She notified me what was happening and that she might be harder to reach. She involved her mother’s therapist and is seeking a therapist of her own. I wish she gave herself even half the credit she deserved. She’s incredible.

I do not need advice on the logistics—ex: her moving out, there’s a timeline and a plan in place, and a safe place to go if everything goes to shit—but I DO need advice on how to be a supportive partner. I’ve never dated someone who was a survivor of childhood domestic violence before. I care about her so much. I want her to see herself the way I see her. Brilliant, resilient, giving, caring. I realize that I can’t singlehandedly replace friends or a therapist (both of which she has access to,) but I want to be the best girlfriend possible. How do you show love to someone whose earliest memories of “love” are violence and verbal abuse? How do I make her feel safe? I have talked to my own therapist about this, but I would love to hear personally from survivors and those who love them. This girl is the best thing that’s happened to me in such a long time. I want to treat her like it.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Looking for advice I think? I have two friends who have been dating. One just came out publicly sharing that the other had been physically violent on a drunken occasion. Heartbreaking, absolutely staggering shock that I would never expect in a million years. I definitely thought these two were in it to win it, too. Now, everything is broken. 

Person B, the aggressor, is a longtime dear friend who is incredibly gentle, kind, patient, and one of the most decent (historically) humans I've ever met so this was definitely shocking. 

Person A, the victim, is someone I am friends with through the relationship and do really enjoy. 

I feel SO bewildered, confused and sad in general bc fuck the fact that this shit happens, DV is a horrible horrendous thing. I also feel icky bc upon reaching out to Person B to see what happened but keeping it more to a 'did you break up?' question, they said that THEY feel unsafe and to stop talking to Person A. 

So now my head is spinning - I'm wondering, is Person B being manipulative now, trying to get me and others on their side? How can I not believe Person A, the victim? I make it a rule to trust the victim, ALWAYS, you just have to. I can only imagine that someone who is abusive would try to hide it and/or would pin it on the other person by calling them unstable. 

At this point I just don't know how to handle moving forward. I offered my support to person A in the form of listening, offering to help them move, hang out and talk, boxes, etc. If they leave town, then I'll only be in town with Person B the aggressor. Where do we go from here? I can't NOT hold someone accountable for that, but also did it happen? And again how can I deny anyone. 99% of me trusts that this happened, painstaking as it is, and that my friend must have this tragic dark side when belligerently drunk that I haven't seen before, and 1% of me wonders if Person A is telling the full truth based on the way they shared this info? But why would they make that up? What would the benefit be? I am so disturbed that my friend could do this to someone, that they could do it and then not own up to it. It's heartbreaking. PS the victim added that they also made a violent move toward their aggressor, so in their words they felt they were also at fault, but I think that is, like, textbook victim guilt where they think self defense is something to feel bad about? I really don't know but if anyone has advice for what they would do in this situation, I'll be grateful. I sincerely hope this post is not triggering in any way, my heart is with anyone who is a victim of DV &lt;3[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>It is 💜 I’m really going through it right now and may need to get legal representation , I’ve been put in a really bad situation , and without his cooperation , of giving me back what is mine , I’ll have a real fight ahead of me either way … I’m starting to write everything on sheets of white paper gone thru about ten filling up , some of the highlights holding my hostage in my car before work unless I gave him my cell phone , I was late, insult to injury… went into my tablet that was linked to my accounts changed my passwords , and the account settings so that I couldn’t access them , took pictures that he stole off my phone sent them to  himself , showed people ( I was naked and they weren’t for him nor did I know they were on there from like years ago )we live on the water , threw that tablet in the ocean , obviously never replaced it , another promise along with the last three months I’ve been paying our entire rent and every luxury like toilet paper and deodorant, never going with our anything 

He’s in my opinion , a deep adderal psychosis , has visual and auditory hallucinations , what has come along with that is multiple personalities , one of them is the one that convinced me to stay and the other shines a flashlight in my eyes at night until morning talking to themselves tearing our house apart , speaking just loud enough hours straight so that , with headphones in at the loudest volume I can still hear him 

He has separated parents , one of which just bought a house with 4 extra bedrooms , and the mother owns property that she’d let him like in rent free , the problem now is he flips the script , just today it’s changed a few times and he now wants the apartment since it was his originally , and his dad co-signed , yet I’ve been paying the past few months myself 

This is just a portion of the pages I’ve written but I’ve been the only one working , when I would be out he’d harass me to no end , so I stopped even bothering besides work and driving my epileptic mother around , so I’ve been funding my very own personalized hell and now have no money , and he’s made promises of months to pay me , I’ve met his mother and father , the father will take care of me i know that but I feel he owes me more than just the rent I paid for us , for all that I’ve been thru and I thought I was “investing” that money.


but that’s not even everything , it floods my brain now that I deal with it but I can’t put enough emphasis on the conditioning , love-bombing, gaslighting and absolute torture and harassment , I can’t make sense of it and what to do

So I guess my question is how do I go about proving that he tortured me . I have friends who saved voicemails and texts of me crying expressing at those moments where I was and actually told someone . He’d threaten me in every which way so that I didn’t tell people it was happening . I’m very scared.[/INST]DV report procedure/Documentation</s>",6
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My friend is in a situation where her partner has backed up everything on her phone to his laptop. We don’t understand what this means, but what is a safe way for us to communicate if he does this? Also is there an app that you can alert to someone you need help without it looking like that? She is not ready to leave but I want to make sure we can keep in contact and I can go and get her if the situation escalates? Thanks for your help![/INST]Miscellaneous (Other)</s>",14
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>He only laid hands on me, once, and I've never been sure whether he intended to shove me or not. I feel like he was one of those who thought of himself as a good guy and had walled off physical abuse as a thing he wouldn't do. But at the same time? The psychological abuse (at least the majority) was so very deliberate, in retrospect.

He immediately apologized profusely, said he was suicidal and said he needed to go to the hospital. So I took him. Mid-move, with my back thrown out. I had to tell him he'd shoved me. I was one reflex from cracking my head open, with how I came down. It could have been really bad and he either genuinely didn't notice shoving me or was expecting me to take it without objection.

I wonder if he knew he was abusing me. He DARVO'ed tf out of me, told me I was abusing him, then took it back because I went into full-on mouse mode.

Today, I had a package returned from the USPS, for my business. I came completely unglued. My memory is fragmented af where my ex is concerned, but for some reason I have a blip of him coming in with the mail, looking angry.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>This is the 4th split up but needs to be the final one.
He is beset by personality disorders. I believe he has NPD with some BPD traits, ADHD plus autism. 

He is obsessed by BPD &amp; all his ex's are crazy &amp; he has tried to pin BPD on me.

I used to live with him but after a police incident in Sept, I left &amp; moved back to my home city an hour from him. We did get talking again &amp; started dating but he has got more &amp; more abusive &amp; the relationship such as it was - was going nowhere.

He enjoys playing the victim &amp; even now he will be saying he has been dumped by me before Xmas &amp; what a bitch I am. It will probably be to get out of working shifts because he will be so ""heart broken"" - if only he actually had a heart. He has a rock instead.

He is a psychopath who hates women. He has abused all his ex's &amp; he should never be allowed to date another woman. I reported incidents of abuse to the police but unfortunately there was insufficient evidence to prosecute him. 

He has since been more abusive but it seems very hard to get anything to stick &amp; at the very least get him arrested &amp; cautioned. Certainly I felt the police force where I lived with him, totally let me down &amp; failed to recognise that he was coercivelly controlling me[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My mom likes my husband a lot,, and I'm not the kind to air dirty laundry. I've kept all this secret. .but a few days ago I told my mom that when my husband drinks he becomes an abusive asshole, and if he doesn't get help for his alcoholism and some therapy I'm leaving w the kids. All she said was ""have you done counseling "" . Didn't call and ask me to expand,  or ask what happened. Didn't give any emotional support,  Nothing. A few months ago I brought up possible separation and she immediately started saying that I was the one tearing my family apart 🙄

Then today she texted me asking about Xmas and then said ""I hope you won't do anything drastic this month to cause the boys any angst"". Yeah, cause living in a home with a man who becomes abusive every night if he drinks won't cause them any angst right? It's just me being dramatic. 

My mom/grandmother/great grandmother were all totally dependent on men who were abusive often and I still have a lot of resentment she sat back and did nothing for us. So to have her, on top of that, basically accuse ME of being the problem makes me feel so alone..its bad enough rent is prohibitively expensive for a single mom , im not expecting any financial help, but maybe some emotional support?? 

I'm a mother and if I thought for a second somebody was hurting my kids in any way, I'd go psycho. I have nobody else except 2 sisters who live 3000 miles away. 

Anyways, feeling crushed.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>When me and my boyfriend fight it gets bad, he gets extremely nasty and I get very upset in return. He claims my emotions run high from the beginning of the fight so that’s why he gets so nasty, I disagree. Long story short he takes my phones and deletes whatever recordings of our arguments. 

I need an app that while recording, it stays recording through alarms, phone calls, it doesn’t glow red at the top (I’m on iPhone) so he doesn’t realize I’m recording even while he uses my phone.[/INST]DV report procedure/Documentation</s>",6
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hi Friends,

My boyfriend hit me yesterday. Is this weird after a relationship of 11 months? I am not sure if I should give him a chance.. I've told him that I want to leave him. He drank a lot of alcohol that day while he usually never drinks. I've seen him drunk 4 times before and last time he was the total opposite, never saw him so sweet.

He hasn't mentioned this but I feel like it might have something to do with the stress. He's gay and his family is muslim, his Mum asked him quite short ago if he's gay in a rude way.. His sisters and brothers do not accept any of it either, while he has not come out and does not appear gay. He just started a new job in a field that might be bit too much for his capability's, his mum had a heart attack 2 months ago and they just found out that her cancer is back. 

I don't know if there is a difference in being an abuser or abusing someone once?

I've hit my sister once and then never did it again. All the stories here sound quite quick...

I did some enquiries in places I could move to. I hope to hear back from them today. 

Lol btw, just for the details... He threw all his weed away yesterday. I've always told my friends if he breaks up with me its bcs he's more in love with his weed. He smokes around 2-6 joints a day. He mentioned as well he will find a way to keep his stress levels lower: gym, yoga or speaking with the GP.

But aside from that great news, my cheek and face still hurt and my arm as well. I punched him quite hard as well. Obviously this is human instinct to protect yourself. I just wouldn't see myself starting punching him, even in a big fight. Maybe throwing a pair of socks at him or a pillow.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>
You stare at yourself,

trance-like, in the mirror. 

He’s just a man that loves you.

What is so unclear?


You’re just stressed.

Long shifts, 

school, 

 it’s just PMS. 


But you feel crazy, 

and you don’t know why.

It’s so unbearable,

but you keep up the lies.



You’re not sure what’s wrong, just that no one can know. 

You have to look happy.

Put on the show. 

Hold his hand, smile, say nothing but hello.


But if you’re around other men,

then you must always look down.

Don’t cause an explosion. 

Keep your eyes on the ground. 
 

But he doesn’t hit you. 

So everything is fine.  

It must be you then. 

You’ve lost your mind.



He’s not him. 

He’s not the monster from which you already escaped. 

He’s not threatening to kill himself.

You haven’t been raped.


He doesn’t hit you. 



But he reads all your texts,

goes through your whole phone, 

accuses you of cheating, and

blocks every guy you know. 


But there’s letters, flowers, candles.

He showers you with love,

puts you up on a pedestal 

like you’re something sent from above.


He doesn’t hit you.


He’s funny, he’s charming, 

and he’s always right. 

Yet you wonder how things would be

if you hadn’t met him that night. 


You just need a break,

time to think, and catch your breath.

But he doesn’t agree,

and now you’re scared to death. 


So you try to leave,

try to run out the door,

but he gets there first,

and falls to the floor.


Terrified, paralyzed, you’ve forgotten how to breathe. 

He’s screaming, shaking, says it’s PTSD….

 IT’S YOUR FAULT! YOU FUCKING BITCH!

YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST LEAVE!!?


He says he loves you.

But that YOU’RE destroying HIM.

A cold hearted bitch 

is how he says you’ve been.


But you do everything for him.

You wake him, feed him, drive him around, 

lend him money and pay his bills,

 because his wallet still hasn’t been “found”. 


But you leaving him, what you did to him,

it’s YOUR fault he couldn’t pay his bills.

YOU made him lose his home, his car, and 

YOU’RE the reason he needs those pills.


But he doesn’t hit you.


He’s been screaming for hours,

but you’re frozen in place.

Your whole body trembles 

as you search for an escape 


You take a chance, make a break for it,

only to be caught by surprise.

Chained, suffocated,

by more of his lies.

 
He reminds you before 

you can get to the door,

that without him….

you’re nothing but a fucking whore.



He doesn’t hit you.



But you wish he would.

At least then you would know 

you’re not crazy, it’s him.

You’d have bruises to show.


You could tell the police,

call mom and cry.

Except you don’t have any bruises,

and he knows just how to lie.


So you lay wake all night,

feeling guilty, ashamed.

He’s not the man he was before,

and YOU are to blame.


That’s what he told you at least,

again and again.

YOU JUST KEPT LEAVING HIM!

NO MATTER HOW GOOD TO YOU HE’S BEEN!!


He’d do ANYTHING for you.

And you treat him like SHIT!

He’s said it so many times,

you have to believe it.


You get flashes sometimes,

little glimpses of how it used to be…

those blue eyes, that big smile, 

and no red flags that you could see.


But you should have been more careful, 

not gotten involved.

If you hadn’t been so naive,

there would be no problem to solve.


Now he doesn’t like your friends.

Says he’s looking out for you. 

And convinces you to quit your job,

even though you didn’t want to. 


Every minute you’re without him

he demands a full report back.

WHO you saw, WHO you spoke to.

You’ve learned to prepare for the attack 


But no matter how hard you try,

you can’t do anything right.

You hate him, you want out,

but you’re too exhausted to fight 


So you stay. 



You suck it up

and try to fulfill all his needs,

the voice in your head 

crying, “HELP ME, PLEASE!!!”


Then suddenly he gets you flowers 

and your favorite ice cream,

with a letter professing his love,

so he must not be mean?


He doesn’t hit you. 


So maybe he’s been right all along.

You’re making him do this.

You’re the problem, it’s your fault,

it’s YOU that’s abusive.


But if all that is true, 

why does he stay?

Why does he tell you to fix him 

if you’re the reason he’s not okay?


He punches himself when he’s angry.

It’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen.

Then he tells you it’s your fault...

You never thought you’d be so traumatized at 19.


He’s gone now,

moved away without a care.

And you’re left so stressed 

that you’ve lost your hair.


You get dressed, put on makeup,

and try to be who you were before.

But you just look empty, lifeless. 

You’re not you anymore. 


You reach out to the friends 

that said they would be there.

But they say I told you so,

why did you think they would care?


Cause in this country men can kill their wives,

as long as they play ball,

disrespect and rape women 

if they say they’ll build a wall.


So why would anyone care 

about what he did to you?

You try to explain what he did,

but you don’t know how to. 


You want the world to understand

but they’re not going to. 

Because how could he be abusive...




If he didn’t hit you?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I'm trying to help my mother leave her abuser, however her phone line is under his account (they have Verizon). Anyone know if it's possible to switch her line over to my account without involving him? She wants to keep her phone number if at all possible.

Any help is greatly appreciated[/INST]Safety planning</s>",7
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hi, title says it all..my husband of 6 years and I had an argument and I walked out because he exploded and then I started to record as he barged out of the bedroom into the kitchen. He realized after like 40 seconds I was recording and he forcefully ripped it out of my hands and used his entire like muscle force to keep me from getting it back. Used all of his strength to keep pushing me away.

I was terrified but my FFF response is typically fight so I thought I could get it back....we are the same height and weight and I certainly dont have the strength he has.

Anyway. No bruises or anything and the recording is gone.

 We have a toddler and this is the first time this has happened. I don't want to ""tip him off"" in any way if I gather up the courage to get my ducks in a row and leave ...but since I don't have any proof ...I can't and probably don't want an OOP because I don't want to tip him off.

Please help. I'm a sahm with OCD and PTSD which means I am super self doubtful...and terrified to make any moves.[/INST]DV report procedure/Documentation</s>",6
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>A friend (F27) who lives a few hours outside of the city with her kid has reached out to me (F35) recently. Her boyfriend has become very physically abusive towards her in the last months, and she is wanting to get out.

In terms of emotional support, what are things to say or not say to help her though this. Among other things, she's talked a lot about feeling guilty and conflicted for having loved/still loving this man.

I'm particularly concerned about her ""forgiving and forgetting"", and continuing in the abusive relationship.  I want to encourage her to stick with her choice to get out, without making her feel like I'm being pushy... does that make sense? I don't want to say the wrong thing.

I've not lived through a situation like hers, and I want to make sure I offer helpful and comforting support, and I'd love some advice on the matter.[/INST]DV report procedure/Documentation</s>",6
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>So this particular journey starts about eight years ago when I was 15. My parents died and I went to live with my grandparents in the country. Looking back on it life was pretty good there but I hated it. I met T (he was 28 when we first met) online and it all started from there. We talked constantly and formed a relationship. When I was 16 He came down to be with me for a weekend. I felt special. He made me feel special and loved. 

I got pregnant and ended up running away to be with him. My grandparents never knew I was pregnant. We moved five states away. And things got worse. 

Over the years he has abused me in every way I can think of while we have had four kids together (I’m pregnant with 5 and 6). I am now 23 and he is 36. 

I never really thought of leaving until the oldest was playing with her Barbie and ken dolls. Ken hit Barbie and when I asked her why her response was that is what daddy’s do. 

That broke me. And I started planning to leave. He seemed to know exactly when I was planning it and would choose that time to be dad of the year and take care of one of the kids while I did my errands. 

Then he got Covid. Three weeks ago. I am so thankful to say that none of us have it (me and my oldest are vaccinated). He had to go into the hospital on day five. We left. I am now in a safe place five hours away. There is only one person who knows of a way to reach me and she emailed me today. He is improving it seems. 

On top of this I made a new friend with a neighbor and something weird happened. She recognized me from a missing persons report. She’s a nut about crime and missing persons stuff. I tried passing it off but she found it and sure enough it’s me. She’s now trying to get me to call the number. I don’t know what to do. 

With everything going on I am starting to feel terrified. It’s bad enough that I’m not able to sleep at night jumping at every noise. I have to triple check the doors and windows. I just don’t feel safe and I don’t know what to do. Shouldn’t I feel safe now? 

The kiddos are even doing good. Not one of them has asked for daddy and they will sometimes even start to play without reassurance. 

Is something wrong with me? Any advice in general is welcome.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My friend is considering leaving her abuser whom she currently lives with. They have a dog together. He technically bought her, but she does most of the dogs care. He's not abusive toward the dog at least currently, but we are concerned he would not properly care for her if he was the only adult left in the house. Besides just being lazy about the dogs care, hes gone for about 14 hours/day for work, so she would be locked up for that whole time. Is there anything we can legally do?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Surely DV is a greater evil because it usually also involves a complete breakdown of a person psychologically. But it seems so much easier for people to break up when there’s been cheating - like there’s a tangible act of disrespect. There have been numerous incidents of psychical, emotional and physical violence in my relationship but I still haven’t left him. But if he cheated I’d feel totally justified to leave him, and sometimes I wish he would just cheat so I can leave him without feeling so much guilt. It’s funny because I thought once he bruised me I’d walk but I didn’t.[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>He just attacked me. He tried to rape me and the shoved me multiple times, grabbed my face, pushed me to the floor all while verbally assaulting me. I tried to push him out of my room so I could lock the door and he poured water all over my bed and tried to smash my phone.
All this because he says I don't sexually satisfy him often enough. 

I'm hiding in my room with the door locked, and I'm terrified. I just want him to leave so badly. I hate him. 
I don't know what to do next.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I have been in abusive relationship of 6 years now , 6 years of manipulation, narcissism, physical/ mental abuse, humiliation, gaslighting, threatening my life constantly, this man has changed who I am, how I feel about myself, and how I think of things, I could go on. But Wednesday this week I finally got the courage to LEAVE. I feel cowardly for doing it while he was outta town but I feel I had no choice. I’ve tried leaving him before by telling him I don’t think it’s gonna work and he got physical with me so I stayed. After years of just dealing with it and thinking it’s because of me that he’s like this trying to change myself constantly I LEFT. I packed up my things and left my own apt. I took all the precautions I needed to to lay low until time passes, I didn’t say anything to him. Just packed all his things and left them at his door at his house for his nephew to find to tell him. Sometimes saying nothing at all speaks bigger volumes. I am on edge right now praying he doesn’t come looking for me but I feel more FREE and ALIVE then I ever have in the past 6 years….thank u for listening ❤️[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>**Trigger warning


I’m out of a domestic violence relationship for many years. The physical violence stopped. I had a protection order against them. But as we share a child it’s been years of emotional abuse and verbal abuse and blame and put downs and shouting At me. I’ve tried being nice, civil friendly and everything but it always blows up. I get anxious and thrown into full panic mode each and every time. He now lets down our child too regularly. My child cries most weeks because of the turmoil. So I have decided to go back to file for another order so this person will finally shut up and leave me alone and be held accountable for his mistreatment and disrespect. 

I’m not going to lie. I’m scared out of my mind- but I know it’s the right thing to do. At least I’ll have an order to keep me safe if he gets angry. 

X[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>24F, i’ve never experienced anything like this in a relationship before. he (39) makes my f*k boy ex’s look like saints. we dated for a year and it took me several months to notice that he was subtly controlling my behavior by making condescending remarks and other unnecessary digs. whether it was what i ate, what i wore, even my personal opinions. but by then i was so deeply in love and almost indebted bc he had provided so much for me. (aka love bombed tf out of me). plus he was older and i wanted to impress him - he was aware of that. 

i had convinced myself that he was my best friend so i told him everything about me. my thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, and my fears. it wasn’t long before i felt like i could not live without him in my life. not literally but i knew life would be sucky without him. 

i alienated myself from everyone which wasn’t hard bc i’m already an introvert. but it makes me so sad now bc i have no support system. the one person i do have thinks i stopped talking to him months ago 😪 and every time i mention his name she is disgusted. i know it’s bc he’s hurt me so bad but now i feel like i can’t really confide in her.

he broke up with me about 3 mos ago bc he was tired of me calling him out on his toxic behavior. he called me crazy and psycho and said “and you wonder why i want to break up with you” i was devastated. even though i would call him out i was still very willing to stay with him. in fact we had talked about marriage like a week before so this completely blindsided me. keep in mind he is the only person i talk to on a daily basis. i entered into a deep depression that i didn’t even know was depression.

i quit my job. it was a terrible place but i would’ve at least stayed until i had another position if i had him motivating me. yes he was a big motivator for me. made me feel very safe and protected (i’m anxious). it just got to be too hard dealing with the people at work and this breakup. so much time at home i began eating so much and i’ve gained so much weight. i feel unattractive and refuse to be seen by anyone outside of family. 

still. he found a way to put me in the friend zone and i feel like a complete fool. i looked for advice online about how to get through this but they said i needed a support system and sobbed realizing that i don’t have one. i can’t do this anymore. i am so angry with myself and him, everyday the up &amp; down emotions, the financial ruin that’s inching closer bc i can’t find the motivation to get out of bed.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I’m so at a loss. I swing between being so scared and sad and worried about her to being angry that she’s choosing this lowlife man over her family. I know it’s not her fault and I’d do anything to help her but it’s so hard to continue being supportive when all of my offers for help are refused. I’ve done so much reading, talked to my therapist, talked to a DV advocate and logically, I know I can’t save her. That she will only leave when she makes that choice and no one can make it for her. But I’m frustrated and exhausted. All I see ahead is a long road of pain and sadness and it’s so hard to deal with - to see her addicted to this horrible person and know there isn’t anything I can do to help. How do I keep going? How can I get through to her? How do you watch someone you love get hurt over and over?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I really seem to severely struggle at the gynecologist after years of sexual abuse by my ex. We’ve been no contact for over two years but it’s still incredibly challenging for me. I panic, feel very painful, start getting lightheaded etc. I was never like this before the abuse. Anyone else?[/INST]Healthcare information (counselling, psychiatrist, doctor etc.)</s>",10
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>First time poster so sorry about the format. I just found out that my sister (30F) was head butted by her husband (30m) of 10 years. It was the first time they had gone out with friends in a while (covid) and they were both very drunk. They got into in argument and he literally head butted her, hard enough that she bled a little but not enough to knock her to the ground. She did call the cops and he got a temporary restraining order but she allowed him back in the house under the condition of not drinking. I feel sick to my stomach worrying about her but she said they’ve talked it out and that it’s the only time something like that has every happened in their 10+ years of being together. She is giving him the benefit of the doubt of it being a one time thing that will never happen again but my guy keeps thinking about how dv victims think it won’t happen again. So is it possible that it could really just have been a one time thing where there was just way too much alcohol?[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>In December my ex fractured my arm, then left, taking all the money and all my support.  I put him thru school, gave him everything.  He started using drugs and was randomly damaging property in our rental home and my car.  It's so tough loosing everything.  I feel like a complete waste of space and wonder why I would chose to keep going?  There's a lot more, but I think I'll have to end now.  Thanx to anyone who takes the time to read.  I wish everyone a kind and compassionate day and night.  x Eyegetu[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My Moma (49) and my stepfather (48) Have been together for 16 years. The abuse has started to push past mental and turn physical in the last week. SF is going through chemo, and has scans coming up in a few weeks. That is the excuse that he gives for the violence, and of course the fact that he is convinced she is cheating, and sends to many text messages. The only people she talks to are me, my brother, and her step kids. 

Well he took her phone 6 days ago, and has some how made it so if she gets a text message or phone call he gets them too. She has an iPhone and he has an android. How do I even go about finding the app or unsyncing their phones because this is making the abuse worse? 

Please help so I can try to safely get my mother out of this situation. 

Thank you[/INST]Miscellaneous (Other)</s>",14
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I left my narcissist ex a year ago. He didn't take it well and became extremely abusive when I left - he even tried having me arrested on false charges. I got a tempoary restraining order against him but didn't persue the permanent one because his lawyer assured me, in writing and signed by ex, that ex would leave me alone.

Ex hasn't left me alone. Several times per month (or week/day, depending on his mood) ex contacts me to try to reconcile. He is able to get around being blocked by changing his phone number, email address, etc. I only read his messages to see what kind of mood he's in and if I should worry about him that day.

He starts out nice and says things to get me back. Because I don't respond, he becomes enraged and starts scaring me with the tone of his messages. Me not responding to him makes his anger escalate. He is smart enough to only use veiled threats, nothing that could ever be used against him. Threats like, ""you're going to regret this"" are considered vague, and legal, by our state law.

He has never put his hands on me...yet.  I honestly feel that he is the person that would commit murder/suicide as his first act of violence against me (I don't want to post full details here about a specific event involving an argument, gun, and his arrest).  He has threatened suicide several (5, I think) times since I've left him (I always notify his family when he does).

He has been stalking me recently. He sent messages that mention how I look and that my tire needs air, etc. Things he would only know if he was watching me or having someone else watch me.

I've taken some precautions, I've changed the locks and told neighbors (neighbors are keeping an eye out for him). Another restraining order would only make him be more cautious and sneaky. If he wants to commit murder/suicide, the restraining order isn't going to stop him.

I legally have a gun but I'm not sure if I could use it on anyone, even to protect my own life. The only other thing I can think of is to get a security system but I really can't afford one. 

Any suggestions on how I can keep myself safe?[/INST]Safety planning</s>",7
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I wasn't sure how to flair this but should also add TW: mention of physical violence.

TL;DR: husband's mental problems, drinking, and compulsive lying are worsening to a concerning degree.

Things have been increasingly worse at home over the last year and a half, turning physical in spring of this year. One thing that has always been consistent, though, is my husband's propensity to lie. About where he's going, how long he'll be gone, how much money he's making/spending, where he is when I call him... just everything.

I always knew he was lying but now I'm realizing just how effortlessly he not only makes up these lies, but I honestly think he believes them himself. I recently found out that a huge fight he started with me in October was over something he completely made up: he got drunk one day at a bar when he was supposed to be at work (not uncommon) and told me that he had called my ex-boyfriend on the phone and that they had talked for 2 hours about me being a ""drug addict"" (this is something he's started calling me recently, because I was prescribed several medications last year for depression/anxiety and hypothyroidism that worsened after the birth of my second child). He had me honestly freaking out and in tears; he was threatening me that if we get divorced and go to court my ex-boyfriend would be my husband's witness to my ""drug addiction"" (noting: I take all of my medication as prescribed and have monthly psych appointments and bloodwork done every 2 months, with checkups by my GP).

This was weighing on me until one day I saw my ex online and sent him a message asking what he had talked about with my husband. My ex said he hadn't seen or heard from my husband in years.

That's when I realized that in his drunken state, my husband had made up this entire situation about talking to my ex (this isn't the first time husband has claimed he talks to said ex about me), and the story and details he told me were so intricate my husband surely must have partly believed it himself. And I can see my husband doing that: calling someone on the phone that he knows and talking for 2 hours, then later forgetting who he was talking to so in his drunkenness, deciding he talked to my ex. He's often come home very drunk and not known who I am, so it's not hard to imagine.

I was so angry, feeling like what else has he gaslighted me with? For the last few weeks, I've been abroad with the kids, visiting my parents for the holidays and generally just to get away from him for awhile. He calls to video chat with the kids and will talk to me like nothing is wrong, as usual. The most recent lie that got me was that last week, he lost his phone ""at work"". His $800 phone that isn't paid off yet.

Giving him the benefit of the doubt I realized that if google locations was enabled on that phone, I could probably track it's last location. So I went into his email (which I set up; he doesn't know how to use email and only me and his friend actually monitor this account for him when he needs to be sending or receiving emails) and I noticed that he's been at the bar every day since we've been gone, at least an hour, up to 5 hours at a time. This also isn't uncommon for him except that last night on the phone he told me he was ""so tired"" because he's been getting up to work this really hard project he's on (he's in construction) at 6 AM every day ""even on weekends"" and while he's telling me this, I am literally staring at his google locations (now he has a new phone, that he spent a chunk of our rent money on) and seeing that he has been at the bar every morning from 9:30, going to his work location at 11:45 earliest, and often back to the bar in the afternoon until closing. Which means he's also spending our rent money at the bar.

And yes, I do realize that this compulsive lying is part of a mental illness; he has been diagnosed with adult ADHD but doesn't take his medication and often forgets entire days at a time, so it is really sad to watch his mind just be completely disjunct in this way. It seems like he's getting worse and of course the alcohol is confusing him more.

I used to think all these accusations he made of me were true and then for awhile I was angry I was being gaslit but now I know it's increasingly worse mental illness on his part and it's just so shocking it's sad. At the same time I've had it with trying to help him when he won't admit to himself there are even any problems.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I am new in this sub. 
I think I am in denial and would like to hear if someone else has gone through similar. 

I had a 6year relationship with my bf (36), I am 31. He would have rage attacks, psychiatrist thinks its either borderline or narcissistic personality disorder or both. we broke up but I have a hard time accepting that he was abusive. The violence feels mild, I know any kind of violence is violence. he would twist my wrists which hurt a lot(this happened several times), hit once with the fist on top of my head, once hit my arms and once kicked my belly. the thing is I feel like part of it was my fault because he never attacked me, we would argue and he would want to get out of the room and I stood in front of him because I wanted to talk it through, when we argued I didnt let him leave, which I know now is not right


I was afraid he would leave and not come back, because he left twice for a week and ignored me and I felt very anxious.… I ams 163cm he is 180cm so its not like I am stronger .. but now I feel like I caused these situations and also miss my ex…is this real, trauma bond, denial, dissociation, depression or what??

thank you!![/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I had to go to the preliminary this morning for my ex. He was bonded out of jail after a very violent 3.5 hour evening. He tried to make contact which was a violation of his bond so I went to the district justice and the judge revoked it. Turns out, the no contact part of his bond wasn’t in writing and the PFA was not technically in place yet since he got out on a Monday morning before I even had a chance to file for one-so the district attorney agreed to reinstate his bond, and drop the strangulation charge as long as he agreed to plea guilty to simple assault and terroristic threats with intent.
We have a three month old baby girl together (I filed for custody today, and have a 2 year PFA in place) but Christmas is coming, and I can’t help but feel so sad and so heartbroken. He was so awful and I am relieved that my kids and I don’t have to go through that anymore or walk on eggshells everyday. I know that I am missing what I imagined or hoped he could be, and that none of it was real. But it was real to ME. I loved him, and wanted a happy, healthy, loving family with him. He ruined it for all of us. I’ve never experienced emotions like this. One moment I am happy and singing in my car, excited for what life has to bring now that I am free, and the next I am wishing we could go back to the good times. I miss watching tv with him in bed at night, I miss feeling him kiss me while I was half asleep as he left for work in the AM. I miss laughing and being playful together, and his hugs. 

I have met with a counselor through a DV non profit in my town, I didn’t like her much though, so I am looking for a new one. I guess I just needed to write this and vent, I am also open to advice, or even just to hear that this is normal and I’m not alone.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>As I said in my last post I would try and break up with my ""abusive"" boyfriend but I couldn't do it.   


I went to his house and After eating lunch with him and hanging out I tried to breakup with him. I told him I wanted to talk to him about something and he said ""Be very careful with your words."" and he sorta looked down at me, he's taller, I got scared.  I've had a little fear that he would get angry at me and hit me or force himself onto me so I hesitated and didn't tell him that I wanted to breakup. I simply said Never mind.  Is there anything I could do to make it easier to breakup with him.[/INST]Safety planning</s>",7
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>It’s the first time anything physical happened.  We got into a heated argument. When I saw he was quickly losing his temper and escalating, I told him to leave and take a drive to cool off. I pushed him toward the door and hit his arm.  I was so afraid our daughter would hear him yelling, so I wanted him out of the house. 

Instead of turning around and going out the door, he shoved me back so hard that I broke a bone.

He’s over a foot taller than me and has 60lbs on me…but I did admittedly it him in the arm first. 

I’m just confused about what happened.  I know I didn’t make a good choice either.  But I flung across that room like a rag doll.

He wants to go to counseling.  I don’t know what to do.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hi,

I am looking for some insight, if anyone can help me.

First and foremost, I had an affair with a coworker. It was short, we ended it because we knew it wasn't sustainable, and I hated lying to my husband so I confessed to him.

I know it has been devastating to him. We are now in couples counselling, although we are just barely getting to the treatment phase. I am also in individual counselling. 

Since confessing to my husband, we have had multiple escalated episodes. Most often he yells at me and swears at me. Sometimes he calls me names like ""whore"" and ""slut"". He often tells me that I don't understand what he's going through (which is most likely true). Often our son is sleeping across the hall and I tell him not to raise his voice which makes him angrier. He'll then tell me it's my fault because I had the affair and I made him so emotional. But these kinds of outbursts did happen before my affair as well, they were just much less frequent.

When he gets mad he often criticizes how I spend money, how I spend my time when I'm not working, how I keep house or don't, or that I'm tired all the time and he doesn't understand why. But it's when he's angry. When he's calm he's very sweet and supportive. But I just never know when it's going to flip.

At some point he read my journal and then became very hurt because my writings were not very sympathetic to him, and I wrote about missing my affair partner. So now he has an expectation for me to make up for what he read in my private journal by helping him ""rewrite the narrative.""

In our most recent argument, about a week ago, he became enraged and asked me how my coworker and I ""did it."" I was sitting in bed and my husband climbed on top of me and grabbed me by the shoulders yelling ""Was it like this??"" I pushed him off and told him to stop, but the argument kept going for a while... He said ""I'm sorry for getting violent but what you did to me was an act of violence."" He said I could have killed him and our son because I had been intimate with a man who is not vaccinated against COVID, and because we had unprotected sex. And look, I'm not going to try to defend my choices to have and affair and to have unprotected sex. My affair partner told me his sexual history and I took him at his word, but that doesn't justify it.

My husband often defends his actions by saying he doesn't have the skills for dealing with all the emotions, and that he's too busy with work to do any work on himself or self-care. He has a stressful job and works long hours.

I've told all of this to my therapist, and she has been alarmed by the number of red flags.... yelling, swearing, reading my private journal, criticizing me, the uncertainty, walking on eggshells, and then grabbing me. She has urged me to have a safety plan in case my son and I need to leave.

So this has all been going on for about 3 months. Like I said, our last big argument where it got physical was about a week ago. Since then he has had days where he has been able to self-regulate and not explode at me. Obviously he is apologetic. But I'm still scared. He wants to work on the marriage and move past the affair. He wants me to make an effort to right the wrongs I've done to him. But I just don't know how to feel. I know I betrayed him and broke his trust in me but I have lost my trust in him as well.

Obviously our relationship has been toxic. And having an affair is a form of abuse as well, so I know I am not the only victim in this situation. But how long do I give us to fix things? Is his abuse justified given what I've done? Some websites say that since I had an affair, I need to give up my right to privacy in order to rebuild my husband's trust in me. Does that extend to my private journal? Things seem to be getting better, granted it's only been a week, but from what I've read and been told by my therapist, abuse almost always escalates. 

I've made a promise to myself to leave if he gets physically violent with me again. But besides that I am having a hard time feeling invested in this marriage. I wish I wanted to fix it, specifically for our son, but I feel like I'm just waiting for the next bad thing to happen.

Thanks for reading. I'm sorry this is so long.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I don’t know if this is self loathing. I escaped my abusive relationship 10 months ago. Since then has been mainly healing and also avoiding hoovering attempts. 

Well one thing that has bothered me incredibly is when I think back to the abuse. I remember multiple times my ex was screaming at me, or blocking me from leaving with other people IN THE ROOM. They didn’t encourage the abuse it’s just… they didn’t exactly discourage it. I don’t know if I am expecting to much from these people I thought were my friends. I since the breakup have cut all ties with those friends and mutual friends. 

I don’t know what I was expecting, but like…. No one even sent a freaking are you ok text? Or does he do this all the time. It’s like…. They didn’t care….. they liked him more then me Idk… I hate it[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I keep reporting my ex for violating his protective I have against him and everytime I feel like they don’t care about my situation. Like I feel like giving up and starting a new but I want to be around for my family.[/INST]Police</s>",4
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hi all,

I'm in the process of getting a therapist for this but I need advice for now and to vent. I was in a relationship for 3 years with this person. We broke up in 2020 but he began to display obsessive stalker behavior all throughout 2021. In January of this year he assaulted me resulting in injuries that I'm still dealing with. For the most part, I feel fine but there are some days where I miss him. Other days, I don't care what happens to him. He's in jail now and I hate to say this but I almost look forward to seeing him in court later this month. It just breaks my heart bc I only ever wanted him to heal from his traumas but everything turned out like this. My heart is also broken for me because despite him almost killing me I know I'm disrespecting myself by feeling like this. I just don't know how to cope. This is all still very fresh and he definitely manipulated and gaslit me but why! do! i! feel! like! this! How can I move on? I literally broke up with him because I fell out of love but since this incident my feelings have been all over. :/[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Yesterday my abuser from 15+ years ago died of cancer at the age of 40. Both he and I were well known musicians in our small city. Now the community is grieving his loss. I am grieving alone.

I have known he was dying for months and have been struggling to come to terms with what this means to me. Over the past few weeks, I finally told some of my close friends who knew him how he used to berate me, telling I was going to die a “poor black b\*\*\*\* on welfare” and I was at terrible musician who was jealous of his musical superiority. Recently as I have remembered him, I have had to relive in my memories how he broke into my house, forced himself upon me, put me in the head lock in public, stalked me at work, terrorized me over the phone.

I eventually prosecuted him for stalking and got a restraining order. He changed his plea to guilty after I produced recordings of voicemails he was sending hourly that oscillated between “I love you baby I can’t live without you… I’m killing myself” to “you f\*\*\*\*’ fat, crazy, dumb, whore…I am ashamed I was ever with you…” I got to choose between sentencing him to jail or batterers intervention classes. I chose the classes because I still wanted to believe he could change. His probation officer would call me every month for years to make sure he was leaving me alone.

I am ashamed to admit that, in a misguided attempt to find closure, years after his probation ended we drunkenly hooked up a few times and no violence occurred. Perhaps the dynamics changed because by that time I was much older, I had earned a degree, and was a somewhat accomplished musician and not an impoverished welfare queen as he predicted. Maybe he changed? Maybe he thought I had forgiven him then? However, I still did not trust him and I still could not forget. He then got married and we both moved away. I have now not seen or responded to him 5 years, although until about a year ago, he had had still been finding me on any obscure website I’d sign up for and send me messages like “you know you want this white d\*\*\*?” I’d ignore and block.

I was in my 20’s then and I am in my 40’s now. I have come to believe that closure is a myth that only benefits abusers. Since we both moved back to town about 2 years ago, I promised myself that I would not EVER let anyone who EVER treated ANYONE that way have access to me. After I heard the news this summer, I was at a loss of what to do. The only thing I could think to do was unblock him on Facebook. Soon thereafter, predictably, he sent me a friend request. I ldid not accept it for months until I heard he was in the end stages. I finally drunkenly wrote that I genuinely always loved him and I wished him peace.

Now I am mostly numb. The only thing I have been able to strongly feel is an occasional burst of anger when I remind myself that I DO NOT FORGIVE HIM. I am angry that I must live with these memories and the psychological damage they have done for the rest of my life. I am angry that I have to watch my community grieve in silence for a man they did not really know. But yet, I still consider him one of the most intense and passionate loves of my life. If am to do the emotional labor of forgiveness; I will do it in my own time. At least now, if I do forgive him, there is no threat of him ever hurting me again. 

Thanks for listening I have no one to talk to.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Holidays have always been shitty for me. This year I planned the most beautiful sushi spread and made everything perfect and I couldn’t even eat it. I was too busy crying and being yelled at by the one who tells me he loves me. Apparently doing everything and forgetting one thing means I’m the worst. Apparently trying to fix things means I’m annoying and nagging and dumb. That night I tried to hug him and got shoved to the ground and called a dumb bitch. Hand crushed when I tried to make him see I loved him. Bruises everywhere on my hand my legs on my thighs. Left alone to cry while he slept peacefully. Next day he apologized only to hurt me again. What did I do to “make” him? Cry and feel sad because he hit me. So now I’m told he doesn’t love me or care for me or want me. Im annoying nagging stupid bratty bitch. I have never been scared of a man until now. Being told i wanna kill you and feeling him grab me is the lowest I’ve ever felt. Still I can’t leave. Why?[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I have been married for 14 years to a man who has very poor emotional regulation. He yells, swears, throws things, breaks things, has punched holes in the wall. We have four children together and every time he acts out I firmly tell him that his actions are unacceptable. I’ve told him that I don’t feel safe with him, that I don’t know who is coming through the door at the end of the day, etc. He has threatened suicide in the past (though never attempted) and has been self-harming (cutting) on and off for the past 2-3 years. He has refused therapy until very recently. I have been seeing a therapist weekly for the past year and she constantly refers to his behavior as abuse and/or domestic violence. I haven’t been comfortable with this terminology, but am slowly coming to terms with it. He is finally getting help, but I’m realizing it might be too late. The patterns of abuse have eroded any connection between us and I don’t want to stay, though I am currently for financial reasons. Is it clear to you that this type of behavior is abusive? What would you do?[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Hi! I was in a 3 year relationship that was physically and sexually abusive.  I finally officially left this past June.  This relationship traumatized my family (Mom, Dad, Sister). He sent them sexual photos of me, they found out about a number of the things he did to me.  He also emailed them and let them know things he thought was wrong with me.

I lied to them over the years to protect them, because I was scared, so many reasons.  I have been in therapy weekly for the past 6 months and have been making big strides. We got in contact about a month ago and he just emailed my family all this bullshit again.

This is what I needed to see. That he is still who he was but I just don't know how to handle my family.  They are just SO ANGRY with me and it is just so overwhelming for me to move on again, go to therapy, get over everything, and make my family feel better while I'm working on myself to feel better. The biggest thing is regaining their trust. 

Please any advice on how to deal with and help my family would be great.  Thank you ❤️[/INST]Miscellaneous (Other)</s>",14
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>It was a long time coming. Devastated doesn’t begin to describe how I feel. I keep trying to think this is best for me and the kids but I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep never have to wake up to the truth of it. 

Me and the kids move out February 12th.

That’s all. It sucks. It sucks so hard.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>This is my 2nd time attempting to make this post. In the 1st, I started to describe our relationship from the beginning and it triggered me and left the post. So here I am again ,….. ultimately, if anyone is in or has been in domestic violence housing with a child, I’m curious as to what’s the process . I’m very nervous to make the step to ask for help. I’m very prideful and no one expects to be in this position til they’re in it. He’s been verbally/ emotionally abusive for years and I’ve never had proof to provide to do anything about it til this past weekend when our argument turned physical . I have a police report and hospital documentation now. Right now, I’m trying to lay low as possible and avoid as much contact as possible to prevent another argument til I figure out what’s my next move or to get enough courage to call 211. He’s being condescending (playing nice so I can sweep this under the rug) right now cause he knows what he did , but I know this mood only lasts a couple of days before he gets moody again.[/INST]Shelters/ DV center/ Agency</s>",1
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I am preparing for a court hearing about a permanent protective order and could use some advice. I didn't file a police report after the incident and have  really no evidence beyond my testimony (my testimony is of the incident in particular and my recollection of past abusive events, but no exact dates of those events) - no witnesses (I called my mom  immediately afterwards but she didn't witness anything firsthand), no  bruises, no pictures (beyond a picture of a hole in the apartment wall  caused by him throwing a tantrum). I have a text message from him saying ""I knew you never loved me"", that he sent after the incident, which made me feel like he was trying to emotionally manipulate me. We exchanged a lot of texts before the PO was filed, saying horrible things to each other, which I am afraid will be used against me in court.

I have an appointment with a pro bono attorney on Monday who will likely be representing me, but I am still really worried about not proving my  case and losing. What would make a judge deny the protective order? Thanks in advance.[/INST]Legal</s>",2
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>So my depression this year is so much worse because of what’s going on in my life. I still feel guilty for calling the police on my husband and it saddens me that especially right now he’s in jail. At the same time I’m angry 😡 and don’t know what to do with the palpable anger I’m feeling. I’m not sleeping at all at this point and be questioned if honestly calling the law was the right thing. I miss him horribly and I know it’s irrational. I’m all over the place and it’s the holidays. I just want to crawl under a rock until it’s all over.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My best friend is in an abusive marriage. He is mentally unstable / has mental illness, is untreated and resists treatment, and it comes out abusively both verbal and physical, they have a newborn, and she sees saws between coming to terms with it and believing it is getting better though from an outside perspective what she thinks is getting better is actually just broadening acceptance from her end of the behavior and rationalizing that it ‘isn’t that bad’. I don’t say this judge mentally in the least, more just to set the table.

She tends to call me late at night, after they have a big fight of some kind or he has done something. 

I don’t want to not be there for her, if it’s a physical emergency I won’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t take the call and I’ve had to call the cops on him before from out of state (we live in different states).

However, I also cannot take calls at 10pm / 11pm / 12am / 1am or stay on the phone for hours late at night, after which I’m worried sick and upset, can’t sleep, have my work performance impacted the next day and my own mental health taking a hit. 

When the call is to decompress after a bad argument, the conversation is very circular, nothing I say or do changes anything, and I can’t be a late night counselor and also take care of my own well-being.

I don’t know how to communicate a boundary, without risking that she further isolates herself or doesn’t tell me when she is physically in danger.

I’ve started asking is it an emergency and she always says yes, and sometimes it is a physical one and other times she just wants to talk. 

I don’t want to be unsupportive or a bad friend and I don’t know the best way to go about this and I would really welcome the perspective of others.

I feel sick today from getting called so late last night and being unable to sleep afterward. I know me not feeling well today is pale in comparison to what she is enduring, but how do I say don’t call me after 10 unless it is a dire emergency without pulling the rug out from under her. I am one of the only people she tells what is really going on to.

She wants me to fly and meet her newborn son, I’m the godparent, but I can’t be around her husband and I know I am delaying going because I also can’t handle the unloading absent any change. I can’t save her from this, and she isn’t in a headspace right now where she is willing to really contemplate leaving him. 

I don’t know what to do.[/INST]Miscellaneous (Other)</s>",14
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>It’s been almost three years since I cut contact and I’m still scared of her. She hasn’t found a way to contact me but I’m still so scared that she’ll try to ruin my life again. I’m finally in a place where I feel secure in my home, have a loving partner, a good job, but I still can’t shake this uneasy feeling that she’ll come back one day, and I don’t know how to handle that.

And I still empathize with her. I know she’s been through pain and trauma, and I just can’t get angry at her. She’s mean, manipulative, absolutely narcissistic, and she’s too smart when it comes to planning all of this. She’s used her position to threaten rape accusations, blackmail, convinced me that the people that cared about me would hate me if she said these things. Ironic thing is she helps people that have been in domestic violence, but she has used these experiences to hurt me. 

I realized that I needed to leave when I almost jumped off a three story building while on the phone with her screaming at me, and in her attempt to convince me not to: she said that if I survived, she would make sure that I would be staying in the mental ward for a long time, and that scared me more than anything. She knew exactly what scared me, because she put it there in the first place when she talked about all the time, the horrors her sister went through at the ward. And it was her word against mine, who would believe me? 

I feel ashamed to be a man too. I feel guilty talking about all of this. Every time I try to look online, I can’t find any resources for me as a man and I feel so selfish trying to get help. Who would believe me? She helps domestic violence victims and survivors. 

I’ve been too scared to take the first step into therapy. So I’ve handled this healing process alone and I feel so angry at myself. I felt what my abuser felt when she was trying to heal from her own abuse, and I can only feel sorry for her. I just want to feel loved in times when I’m like this, and I’m struggling really badly.

I’m so scared.

I want to be heard though.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>How do I deal with a support organization helping and enabling my abuser. I had been referred to them as a victim by another agency that witnessed her abuse over a year ago, but now they won’t talk to me. 

I don’t know what to do she has cranked up the abuse since they started helping her.[/INST]Shelters/ DV center/ Agency</s>",1
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>When I last saw him I really thought he is gonna kill me. He could have.

I got so scared that I made it impossible for him to try to get to me and convince me to forgive him and get back together.

It has been few months. 

But I still miss him and the worst thing is that I know that if I would like to get back to him I most likely can.

Why do I keep missing a men who hurt me so much.[/INST]Wound assessment/record</s>",5
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>Disclaimer: I am generally known for having a messy car. 

When I left the house in the morning, I didn't know it was going to be the day I escaped. The abuse occurred the night before and I just woke up the next morning and went to work. While sitting at my desk, I had the epiphany that I wasn't going home (*my* house that *I* owned, but i digress). I didn't know where I was going to go but I knew I wasn't going home. And I knew he wasn't going to leave, getting him to leave the house is a story for a different time, but it took about a month. 

Thank god, I just randomly had a ton of dry cleaning in my car. And I don't normally do dry cleaning, it was a total fluke. But there it was, most of my work clothes perfectly pressed, waiting for me to figure shit out. I didn't go home for a month, but I had clothes. I don't really don't know what I would have done without those clothes. Like most abusers, he isolated me from making friends. We had moved to a different state and I didn't have any friends or family within 600 miles. 

Obviously, this wont be an option for everyone. But if you are thinking about leaving and don't want to bring attention - dry cleaning helped me for sure. 

You can leave it in your car or if you know you are going to leave on a certain day you can drop the dry cleaning off early to make it just look like a chore and not like you are packing up. If he uses a dry cleaner, go to a different one in a different part of town.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I went through 6 years of abuse with my ex. His last time being physical with me I had to call the police. He ended up in jail. When he got out he wanted nothing to do with me because I assume he feels I ruined his life since he has a felony now even though I never pressed charges. Im so used to him blowing my phone up begging for me back when I leave that it’s hard for me to explain what it feels like now that he’s not. He found a new girlfriend shortly after. I’m starting to feel like it’s my fault that I’m raising our 3 toddlers alone. I’m heartbroken and regretful that I called the police that night😔. It’s the last thing I wanted to do. My safety was in question though. I couldn’t get him to calm down. Now he’s discarded me like I meant nothing to him after 6 years of putting up with all the abuse,cheating and neglect. I did everything for him. I made all the sacrifices. I Handled all the stressful moments. How could he leave ME? Before I left him? I was the victim. I was the one who should’ve left him… How did the roles reverse to where I’m the one being neglected?[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>My father is a bully.. He hit my mother and me daily.. Actually iam really afraid of him so i dont talk to him like a father and daughter. He blames us for his rude behaviour. He has destroyed all my self confidence. Now he is saying that he wont pay for my tuition fees because my way of asking is wrong what should i do[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I feel the need to scream. To let everyone in my life or who knows me know how I feel. And at the same time, I know it will not help me feel better, itll only attract attention I dont want. Because though I want to express my feelings to everyone, I dont want petty or encouragement. I want understanding. Thats not what I will get though. Add on this feeling of needing to... get my exs from my previous poly relationship to understand that I didn't intend to cheat and that sex under duress is not consensual. And having to grasp between not shaming myself for allowing it to happen and that its not my fault even though I didn't say no... and having to accept that just because someone thinks it was selfish doesnt mean I'm selfish constantly. Figuring out how to stop calling myself pathetic and meaning it. I was brought up at a time where the ""men can't be raped"" was still pretty strong. I mean. Stronger then it is now. My exs think I gave into impuls. Is it giving into impuls if you cry afterwords or want to die afterwords? If you feel the need to scrub yourself for hours on end in the shower and never come out? Is it giving into impuls if you have multiple nightmares about it afterwords and get severe anxiety to the point of almost puking if someone even touches you on accident? If it is then fuck. I'm a cheater...[/INST]DV knowledge</s>",12
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>It’s been six months since I last saw my ex. I was okay for a while and accepted it but now I just want to talk to him. I know all the bad things that happened but it’s hard when I miss him this much. I’m trying to stay strong but it’s so hard[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I ended things with my bf of 4.5 years last week. After years of me asking him to get a job, to help around the house more, and to just step up, I finally had enough. I went home on my lunch break and we got into a physical argument. He had me in a chokehold at one point, and he left me with a bruise on my arm that’s still there 8 days later.. When I returned to work beet red and choking back tears the facade was over. 

This week has been full of problems from locking myself out of my house, to hitting a deer, to having my ex steal my dog. I changed my front door locks, and I’m doing my best to move forward. I keep wondering if it was the right choice, but I know deep down it is. I made a note on my phone and every time I think of a messed up situation he had me in, I add it to the note. It’s the perfect way for me to remember the good times while being reminded of the bad times. I’m making this post for accountability, but also in hopes of inspiring someone else.[/INST]Communication</s>",13
"<s>[INST] <<SYS>>We have 8 kinds of information support analysized from the posts from social media from domestic violence victim. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Based on the analysis of the content of post, give me the information need kind from above 8 types.<</SYS>>I have been estranged from my dad's side of the family for years. Due to generational trauma my mother isn't close to her family. I am now struggling with the relationship with my mother.

I am an only child. My mum is the only person really left in my life but I'm starting to realize she is a narcassist, emotionally unavailable and very invalidating of my PTSD suffered from my childhood and abusive relationships I have got in since.

I have become spiritual and am aware that my romantic relationships are repeating my childhood patterns but I'm ready to learn because I want children but right now I have poor mental health and am choosing unworthy potential father's. I want to be a good mother, even if that means accepting I can't. I'm hoping my healing will cause me to find true, authentic love and can create my own family one day.

I have amazing friends and an amazing career and have done well for myself despite the circumstances. My question to you is:

I know the relationship I have with my mum is bad for me but the feeling of having no family makes me feel in despair. I've literally got nowhere to turn, no safety net, no practical support in life changing circumstances.

My mum has supported me by letting me stay in her house for a year but bear in mind I've collected debt from leaving the home 10 years ago. I am now 28. I moved here when I felt suicidal after surviving a narcassistic relationship. She took me in but provided no emotional support, made me question if I was the problem and has even let my ex abuser in the house.

I have so much cognitive dissonance around this situation. However seeing my friends interact with their families and how things should look like in a loving dynamic I know I don't have that. I'm concerned if I leave everyone for good I will spiral info a pit of depression which I don't think I could survive again... Or I thrive and live my best life because I trust the universes plan? Please someone offer some advice on this difficult situation.

I'm aware we should cut toxic people out no matter who they are but practically/emotionally and financially this is hard for me. I don't want to bite my nose to spite my face! Any advice/words of wisdom is encouraged.[/INST]Communication</s>",13