Anchor: You e-mail your tale of woe--inferior products, ignorant customer service--to shoppingavenger@slate.com, and the Shopping Avenger will use his reporting skills, which have been described by some as almost supernatural in scope (and have been described by others as adequate and sort of pathetic) to extract on your behalf grudging apologies from faceless bureaucrats at Fortune 500 companies.
Entailed: Send Shopping Avenger an email, and they might help resolve your tale of woe.
Contradiction: Shopping Avenger is a fictional column, so please stop sending us emails about personal tales.
Contradiction: She doesn't have any family.
Contradiction: To me, it does not seem very dear. 
Contradiction: No one is jumping from a swing.
Contradiction: the dogs are playing with each other