Product: Someone Like You [VHS] (2001)
Rating: 1.0
Moo.
Because I'm not trying to sell you anything, you can trust me when I tell you that, contra the editorial review here, Tony Goldwyn's *Walk on the Moon* was NOT underrated; it was OVERrated . . . and *Someone Like You* is a mindless waste of your time. The plot concerns a young career woman (an unnaturally chipper and undernourished Ashley Judd) who, after getting burned by a fickle lover, concocts a "New Cow Theory" that compares men to bulls. The premise is that bulls and men are distressingly alike in preferring variety in their sexual lives. Judd realizes that men might even be BIOLOGICALLY DRIVEN to sow wild oats, just as bulls are. Puzzlingly, the movie makes a very big deal over all this, as if it's something that has never occurred to anyone. After an hour of convincing us of this cynical truth ("okay, okay, we get it," we say to ourselves), the movie then blithely does an 180-degree switcheroo and refutes its own theory. The mandatory happy ending is slapdash, trite, and worst of all, utterly (udderly?) unconvincing, considering all we've "learned" about human sexuality. I have a question for the ladies out there: why do you settle for movies like this? You don't have to, you know. Hollywood can do better. Insist on it! . . . i.e., stop dragging your bullfriends to movie theaters and forking over his (or even YOUR) hard-earned dough to the cynical studio execs who have scientifically calculated with sinister exactness the "target demographic" in which you "fit".