Product: xXx (2002)
Rating: 1.0
Triple Awful
While waiting for the next 007 film to hit screens, I was hoping that we would have another crime fighting spy that could keep us occupied until then. I'm still waiting. Once I heard Vin Diesel was to star, the film had lost all hope and excitement. Diesel doesn't have star quality. He has no character. No presence. No charm. He's like a brick wall. A monotonous robot with a voice that sounds like someone is rubbing brick on a cheese grater. He has the tough muscles to be an action hero, but he doesn't have any acting talent to pull it off. Why this guy is being made such a big deal out of is beyond me. There's nothing there. It is ridiculous and pathetic reading reviews stating that Bond is over and all that. In their dreams. Bigger, over the top violence and bigger muscles doesn't make a spy or spy film even remotely better. One reviewer said that maybe in another 18 XXX films, someone will shoot Xander Cage and a new spy will take over. Why wait?. How about we shoot him now?. Even the thought of this film lasting that long is laughable. 2 or 3 maybe. It doesn't have legs. The action is pretty good, but a lot of it is a little too over the top. Very unbelieveable. Of course, that doesn't matter much in films like these, but one would want something that is more breathtaking and exciting, rather than laugh out loud funny for being so preposterous. Samuel L. Jackson is there and doesn't bring anything. Why would he retort to such a low role?. Asia Argento is pretty, but you can't like her character or care for her. In fact, you won't care about anyone. "XXX" tried to be something worthwhile, but it failed on every aspect. Some witty lines were ridiculous, as if the cast had no idea how to deliver them. The movie is boring, cliched, and feels dated by the time it's over. What a horrible bore this film was. Better leave the real action to Bond.