Product: Rosemary's Baby (El Bebe de Rosemary) [ NON-USA FORMAT, NTSC, Reg.4 Import - Latin America ] (1968)
Rating: 5.0
I Hope There's Never A Re-Make!...
OK, we all know that ROSEMARY'S BABY is a modern horror masterpiece. So, I want to approach it a bit differently. I want to review this movie by contrasting it w/ the way hollywood would re-make (aka: destroy) it today. Rosemary would be a hottie w/ kung fu skills and a penchant for machine guns. Her husband would be an actor / kung fu master w/ a bazooka on his shoulder. The nextdoor neighbors, instead of an older couple, would be a pair of 20 yo lingerie models / kung fu and firearm enthusiasts. Dr. Saperstein would be a 22 yo slab of beef w/ full-body tattoos and a license to use kung fu and guns in his practice. The film would leave absolutely nothing for the audience to waste it's time figuring out. Mystery, dread, and mounting paranoia would be replaced by rippling abs and jiggling breast implants. The finalé would include a naked orgy of bazooka-firing, kung fu fighting battle sequences, culminating in the devil's offspring exploding in a mushroom cloud of blood and intestines. KA-BOOM!! I'm just glad I saw the original...