Product: Terminator Woman
Rating: 2.0
"I don't sleep with snakes!"
I say this about a lot of folks, but darnit if Karen Sheperd isn't an underappreciated action heroine if ever there was one. Forever in the shadow (and strangely tied to the career) of Cynthia Rothrock, she's a well of limitless martial potential but always ended up on the short end of the stick, either getting duped by Corey Yuen or needing to settle for roles that Rothrock turned down. A 1993 low-budget flick by longtime Jean Claude Van Damme protégé Michel Qissi seemed like it might break this streak, but alas, poor Karen isn't even afforded an undiscovered gem, `cause not only does "Terminator Woman" have a very misleading title, it's also a pretty bad for a B-movie.The story: police officers Jay Handlin (Jerry Trimble,The Master) and Julie Parish (Sheperd,Cyborg 2) are tasked with protecting a convicted dealer (Len Sparrowhawk,American Ninja 2) to a South African court, but when they are split up by a human trafficking circuit and the efforts of a deadly drug lord (Qissi,Kickboxer), they'll have to rely on their physical talents to be reunited.You'd think that with a title like this one, the movie would generally focus on Sheperd's character, but I'm pretty sure that champion kickboxer Jerry Trimble gets the most screentime among the three karate stars. Julie is more or less teamed up with South African actress Kimberleigh Stark when the two of them are kidnapped out of the blue by a prostitution ring, and after their inevitable escape, Sheperd's quest becomes one of hiking through the bush while wearing tight pants and a very glittery bra...corset...thing. Jay is generally the one doing the real detective work, and while he too is paired up with a rather useless sidekick (child actor Siphiwe Mlangeni, who costarred in the godawfulNukiebut does a decent job playing the precocious card, here), his exploits are much more interesting than his partner's. Michel Qissi, who will never live up to his intimidating presence in the aforementioned Van Damme flick, mostly sits in a chair and looks menacing; sometimes he shoots people, but like the rest of the film's content, it's not terribly exciting stuff.The fight scenes range from okay to tiring. Jerry Trimble outshines everybody with his amazing kicks, which look good even when he's simply performing an impromptu kata in his hotel room. He gets most of the seven brawls to himself, but doesn't get any significant opponents until meeting Qissi in a cave during the finale. The movie surpassed my expectations by making this one a pretty even back & forth encounter, but it lacks both the necessary choreography that made Jerry's best fights great and the emotional gravity that made Qissi's battle with Van Damme a classic. Despite having had what was arguably the best fight scene ever filmed between two women inAbove the Law, Sheperd's encounters feel less like fights than they seem spoofs of them: when her dumb opponents aren't knocking themselves out by running into things, the choreography is slow and awkward with the majority of her blows looking weak or obviously not connecting. Don't even get me started on when she happens to find a staff to fight with. Shame, shame, shame.Production values aren't great and the acting is a shot in the bucket. The story held a bit of potential in revealing that Jay and Julie once faced eachother in the fighting circuit and that Julie's eager for a rematch, but just as this is about to take place, the credits roll. Disappointing, just like the rest of the movie. Everybody involved in this one should've been doing something better, and the only satisfaction I can gain from this clunker is that the better work of my heroes here is way more prolific and well-known than "Terminator Woman". Go on ignoring it, please.