Product: Constantine [Blu-ray] (2012)
Rating: 3.0
Not Nearly as Bad as I Expected It to Be
I've been reading _Hellblazer_ since the beginning. In fact, I've been a fan of John Constantine since Alan Moore created him in _Swamp Thing._ So I viewed the prospect of a Hellblazer movie with trepidation. The more I heard about it, the more disgusted I got with the Hollywoodization of one of my favourite characters. I didn't see the movie in the theatre, but I rented the DVD on the first day it came out--because I knew I'd do it sometime and wanted to get it over with. And you know, this movie isn't nearly as bad as it could have been.John Constantine (Keanu Reeves) was born with the power to see beyond this mortal coil (something that's never really explained in the book, so here they make something up). He lives his life as a kind of roving, last-chance exorcist, getting rid of otherworldly nasties that have broken the rules that allow them to manifest on this plane. He has his allies--a priest who hears voices and a nerdy supply agent (kind of a metaphysical "Q"), but mostly he's a loner. Unfortunately for him, he's diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in the beginning of the movie (this idea is losely based on Garth Ennis' "Dangerous Habits" storyline). But something big is coming and he hopes that getting involved in whatever it is will end up in his spending eternity in Heaven, rather than the other place (to which it seems sure he's bound).Angela Dodson (Rachel Weisz) is a police detective with a psychic punch of her own. Her sister has recently met her end in an apparent suicide. Because they're devout Catholics, to whom suicide is a mortal sin, Angela is invested in believing Isabel didn't actually take her own life. Trying to prove it leads her to Constantine. As an unlikely team, they try to figure out what's making the boundaries between Earth and Hell so thin and to stop it before it's too late._Hellblazer_ fans watching this movie should do what I did: repeat to yourself, "It's not MY John Constantine; it's another bloke with the same name." This should help you get past the obvious problems with the character (like he's a dark-haired American instead of a blond Englishman--at least they axed the "Constantine-mobile") and allow you to enjoy what's enjoyable about the flick. And there is quite a bit to enjoy. The plot is pretty good; in fact, it makes a fair stab at being many-layered. As in many metaphysical horror type flicks, a large suspension of disbelief is required. You just gotta accept that such-and-such an artifact calls up demons because some guy says so. _Constantine_ the movie didn't exactly make this easy. There was a lot of over-the-top stuff going on that didn't adhere to any internal logic. But if the pill was hard to swallow, at least swallowing was possible.The performances were also pretty good. Keanu Reeves was pretty much Keanu Reeves (and as such, never my first choice for J.C.; I would have liked to have seen James Marsters or whasisname from "Trainspotting.") But his standard character fit into the script well enough. Rachel Weisz was also in a fairly standard lady-cop role. It was the minor characters who really hooked me. Tilda Swinton as Gabriel was an interesting casting choice, trying for the androgyny of angels (but not quite making it; Swinton's voice was too high-pitched). Lucifer, Papa Midnite and John's several sidemen also turned in good work. The only one I didn't like was Chas, whose role had devolved into a wisecracking boy-hostage type.What I didn't like about this movie was pretty much what I had expected: _Hellblazer_, though chock full of various dismemberments and disfigurements, is essentially a book of psychological horror. John Constantine is not an action hero. Therefore, Hollywood's insistence on making him one--complete with a dragon breath flamethrower for demon fighting (please!)--did not sit well with me. So the movie had a jerky feel as it battled between having a coherent and interesting plot and simply blowing up zombies._Constantine's_ main fault is that it tries to do too many things at once. There's too much melodrama and silly widgets for people looking for a thinking thriller. For those to whom blowing up zombies is reason enough, there's too much plot getting in the way. As a movie, it tries to straddle a line between genres and ends up shaking a lot. Still, there were satisying moments I would consider renting it worth the money.Just remember, It's not the real John Constantine. It's the Other One.