Product: The Mummy Returns [VHS] (2001)
Rating: 3.0
Why I don't outright hate this is beyond me
Director Stephen Sommers is responsible for some of the more questionable box-office films I've ever seen. Unlike Uwe Boll who has the box office match his talent (read: none), Sommers' films have actually been successful for the most part but right afterwards, people say how awful they were which is kind of funny. Among them is the sequel to the blockbuster hit the Mummy which had good effects but a super bad story but of course the latter is irrevelant if the film made money, hence we have the Mummy Returns where the keyword is "more": more effects, setpieces, characters, and all-around dumbness.Set 9 years after the last film, Rick and Evelyn have gotten married and have a child named Alex. They get caught up in a rescue mission when Alex is kidnapped since he wears the Bracelet of Anubis, which ties into the Scorpion King, an ancient powerful warrior who's about to be resurrected. Killer of the Scorpion King can command a massive army so people decide to resurrect Ihmotep, our mummy from the first film. And once again, Rick and Evelyn along with Ardeth Bay and Evelyn's brother Jonathan have to once again avert disaster.It's surprising to see that despite the special effects advancements over the years, the Mummy films have always had way too obvious CG. It has nothing to do with compositing and placing them in the scene that makes them look natural and not just pasted on but there's something off about the effects, like they're too texture-y and light. Nowhere is this more apparent than the Scorpion King himself and I won't spoil it but basically, I've seen Diablo II have better looking characters. However, one advancement that should've got more recognition is the big battle scenes involving thousands of armies. While it's old-hat now thanks to films like Kingdom of Heaven, Troy, Alexander and the Lord of the Rings films, this just looks better to me. The set pieces also don't have the grandiose nature from the first film. A massive tidal wave didn't have the impact of seeing a sandstorm from the last one and it makes this film obviously inferior to the first one.A film like this doesn't need an in-depth story. It's a summer blockbuster and knows it; you come for the thrills and visuals, not to be riveted by dialogue exchanges and character development. But still, this is kind of a stupid story. A bracelet of something will reveal the location of someone allowing a something to defeat that someone and able to command something is basically the plot and we jump from location to location and have little mini-adventures along the way. There's a sequence involving tiny pygmy mummies (but I call them monkeys) that is not only unintentionally funny but it completely apes off a similar scene in the Lost World: Jurassic Park. Or maybe I'm just complaining too much.There's not really a lot to recommend here. Most movies have at least something to recommend, whether it's the visuals, the acting, or just the plain strangeness of enjoying something so dumb. I don't completely hate it and why that is is kinda baffling.