Product: The Descent (Original Unrated Cut) [Blu-ray] (2006)
Rating: 2.0
There's Nothing New Under the Sun (or in the Dark)
How about something original for a change? I thought that's what "The Descent" might be. Wrong.Scary films, at least the majority, have become Gore Films over the past decade. The occasional, really spooky, rare treat pops up and surprises me, like The Others (back in 2001). No gore, no intenstines, no copying of a dozen other movies. Unfortunately many horror movies seem to copy from others, and blatantly. The fact that "The Descent" takes place in a subterranean cave is possibly the only original thing going for it (and I'm not certain that I haven't seen this setting before as a major scary movie location).Some good vibes from critics and word of mouth, and even Stephen King's praise, encouraged me to check out this film. Remind me to ignore movie critics and Stephen King from now on. It seems that people must enjoy gore and sadism in scary films these days. Why else would they praise this movie? Maybe that's all that they expect from new horror films, because of Saw, Hostel, some recent remakes, and such. What a shame.Like "Deliverance", this film introduces us to some thrill-seekers who are ready to bite off more than they can chew. Like "Dead Calm", there is a tragic accident at the beginning. Like "The Shining", the camera looms high over the car winding its way through a mountain road. Like every other horror movie before, we are shown the Night Before The Terror when we are introduced to the characters; and in the morning we are shown the Photograph of the Happy People who unknowingly may be going to their doom. Like "The Hills Have Eyes", there are nasty things hiding, who have been there for a long time and have adapted to the environment. They are hungry.This film is bonecrackling, bloody, stomach turning, suspenseful, gory stuff. That's not a compliment. This is all nothing we haven't seen before. What a disappointment.The women are incredibly, unrealistically fierce and formidable when faced with the vicious creatures. Funny, but there was no backstory about these gals all being self defense experts, and yet they conveniently knew how to kill an albino cave cannibal in less than ten seconds. It was all like hyped-up superhero action/violence. Ho hum. Not scary.And the filmmakers show entirely too much of the monsters. Remember, guys, in future, less is more. And less is also scarier. You can leave something to the audience's imagination. We're not cave dwelling freaks, thank you very much. Overall, I was not very impressed at all with this movie. I want something more than the usual 'no brainer' junk that Hollywood spoon-feeds the audience.**** Spoilers ahead...Proceed at your own peril! ****Before the women head underground, the filmmakers make a huge point of showing us that the stupidest character has intenionally left the guidebook behind in the car. This was unnecessary; instead, couldn't the book have eventually, accidentally fallen into a dank, gooey pit at some point while the women are spelunking? We will soon discover how stupid this Idiot Woman really is, anyway, when we learn that she's jeopardizing her pals by leading them to the unexplored cave, not the one they were supposed to enter. The guidebook isn't even necessary in the film.The last ten or fifteen minutes of this film really stank. We are given not only a nasty, ridiculously savage act of revenge against Idiot Woman, but then we are deceived by a dream sequence that is disguised as a happy ending. My eyes are rolling in annoyance. There was so much possibility there, especially with the ending. But again, there is mimicry, even in the dream: like the ending of the original 1974 "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre", the survivor escapes, delerious and disturbed but very much alive. Turns out that the woman in "The Descent" isn't so lucky. And neither are we.