Product: Batman Begins (Two-Disc Deluxe Edition) (2005)
Rating: 2.0
I am A Bat. I wear Rubber Man Muscles.
*snort* Oh please. People really need to go THINK about something for five minutes before they wax philosophical about something like this movie. *whooosh* Batman swoops in. *Whoosh* Batman swoops out. And all the 14-year olds in the movie theatre (Even the ones that are certified public accountants) go "COOL!".Somehow, no matter how much psychobabble they try to slap on top, and no matter how many Pseudo-Literati Youngin's trying out the skills they learned in their first English lit class talk about it, they'll never quite manage to cover the fact that this is a movie about a DUDE that wears a costume with BIG RUBBER MAN MUSCLES (nipples included) and BAT EARS on it. WHY would I be interested in what this fellar has to pontificate about while he kicks people and shoots at things and drives around in computer-generated gadgets? THE DUDE IS WEARING BAT EARS AND RUBBER MUSCLES.Did Chuck Norris star in this movie? I couldn't quite tell. There was so much posturing and mooning around in costumes that Orville Redenbacher could have been Batman and I wouldn't have noticed. In fact, given the aforementioned RUBBER MAN MUSCLES, Orville Redenbacher COULD have been Batman.This was an unimaginative, uninteresting rehash of a movie. The philosophy was suitable for NFL voiceovers, and the action mostly revolved around explosions and swooping. If this is what people think it is to be a MAN, no wonder we've got so many fools running around our country. You know who was a MAN? Gandhi was a man. Poundmaker was a man. Kierkegaard was a man. Zeno was a man. The Apostle John was a man. Being a 'Man' isn't a function of the size of your muscles or the amount of butt you can kick. If you think it is, you need to turn off the media boxes you're intravenously connected to and go do something with yourself.2 Stars - one because I have to give everything AT LEAST one star, and one because I laughed at the man muscles.As a matter of fact, I may go into the rubber man muscle business - it may be a bright new industry. Any investors out there?