Product: Constantine [Blu-ray] (2012)
Rating: 1.0
Pitiful.
This was by far the stupidest movie I've seen this year. Keanu Reeves proves yet once again that he's one of the authors of how to be a one-dimensional actor (see all the usually mediocre movies that he's done, such as Speed or one of The Matrix sequels if you don't believe me), second only to Vin Diesel (TWO DAYS. dUR-HUR-HUR!!1!111!!1!!). OK, I know I have slightly digressed and should return to the matter at hand. This movie is a desecration to the comic book, the action scenes were dumb almost to the point of sheer hilarity, that lady cop talked like a retard who got turned down from competing in the special olympics, that Satan dude looked gayer than Richard Simmon's shorts, and anyone who spent their hard-earned money to see this atrocity of a film should be entitled to a full refund.