Product: Femalien [VHS] (1996)
Rating: 1.0
Forget it
This movie (the unrated version) has received much praise, from what I have seen. It has been described as "very sexy" by more than one viewer. Well, there are heaps of nude people, for sure. However, the nudity, as it comes across to the viewer, is not sexy. It is rather boring, in fact. True, the women are pretty (with notable exceptions) and they have fine bodies (with notable exceptions) and thus they could, should the script/direction have provided the opportunity, have put on fine performances. Yet they do not. They seem...well, bored. And they "act" as if they have never had sex before: as if this was the first time and they had all their knowledge from adult magazines and hardcore novellas. But I guess that's the fault of the director. And the males? Well, I am sure the director was joking when he decided to trot them onto the screen because never, even in the worst porn films, have I seen a greater collection of un-handsome male "actors." Gread bodybuilders, no doubt, but man do they have empty faces! What's left? The script: It's a collection of vignettes joined together by a common thread, the lead actress, who appears to have an aversion to frontal nudity. The set: Very cheap. For the most part it looks like a hastily put-together set of a porn movie, not real environment. The camerawork: Flat. Unimaginative. Total aversion to the mixing together of close-ups, medium and wide shots of the same scene. Yet the camera is on a tripod - well, you get the picture. Lighting: Harsh. Coupled with the strong, almost unnatural colors of the set it becomes almost hurtful. Conclusion: Most of us, lovers of the soft core genre, would want to be turned on by a movie. This, however, turns you off. Don't waste your time.