Product: Bloodsport [VHS] (1988)
Rating: 1.0
ARGH!
This movie, like many Van Damme movies, is the touching tale of a dim-witted kickboxer who thinks he is a martial artist and often takes of his shirt, pours oil on himself, and jump kicks people while grunting loudly.Actually, all Van Damme movies are like this, not just many.The movie is about a martial arts tournament where people from around the world come to compete and try to win the prize, which is something I forgot. It is probably run by a super-evil vaguely Asian guy with mob connections. I haven't seen the movie in a while, but I know a super-evil Asian guy controls the tournament because EVERY martial arts tournament in movies is run by a super-evil Asian guy with mob connections, and Van Damme movies aren't known for being very original.The movie features the really huge muscular guy from Enter The Dragon. I think his name is Bolo, but that could be his real name, his name in Enter the Dragon, or his name in Bloodsport. Anyway, immediately after someone smashes a brick in his presence, he says "Very Good. But Bricks don't hit back." (or something very similar), which is a quote from Enter the Dragon. I can see quite easily how this line made it's way into the movie.WRITER #1: This movie is really bad.WRITER #2: I know! Let's ... a bunch of stuff from a good martial arts movie to put in our bad martial arts movie! That should make it good, right?If you want a good movie, watch something with Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, or even Chuck Norris. Repeat to yourself "Van Damme bad. Bruce Lee good." Ok?