Product: The Next Best Thing (2000)
Rating: 1.0
The Next Best Thing to What?
My advice to Madonna - leave the film world to your husband. Madonna's "acting" was painful and detracted from an already bad script. The movie starts in the wrong place: Abby's boyfriend Kevin is leaving her because she's too complicated, smart, beautiful and independent. If that were the case, why would she strip down to her thong in a feable and pathetic attempt to tempt him with her killer body (I'm paraphrasing his words)? I would be shocked if anyone could relate to this character. Who in the world breaks up with someone by complimenting them?How can I feel badly for Abby when she is surrounding by men and women who tell her how beautiful and perfect she is? Her woe-is-me routine is unbelievable, but then she forgets about her "pathetic" love life for six years because she has a son. Poor Sam is stuck in Oedipal relationships with both his mom and dad.Every attempt at humor or connection to the viewing audience is off: The scene in which Abby and Robert trash the house demonstrates how immature they are. The house in which Abby lives is beautiful and beautifully decorated, yet she's a yoga instructor? Abby is so self conscious (aren't yoga instructors supposed to be self aware and positive?) that she is convinced that Benjamin Bratt is trying to break up with her when he is trying to tell her he loves her.I'm most disturbed about the characterization of both Robert and Abby as loving parents who engage in a senseless and annoying custody battle that should have been avoidable if they were truly best friends. They are so wrapped up in how to tell Sam about the situation, but then they use him as their ammunition against one another.A bad script with poorly defined motivations, poor acting with too many megastars trying desperately to portray real people, and incongruent setting and costumes combine to create a massive bomb of a movie. Madonna's insistence on speaking with a forced British accent (she's from suburban Detroit) epitomizes the film's attempts to be something more than it is. Sometimes bigger isn't better...