Product: Tower Of Blood (2005)
Rating: 2.0
A 30 minute slasher padded out to 75 minutes
Let me tell you what you get when you buy this movie: We start with a mental patient escaping from a hospital. This takes about 1 minute, as the nurse walks into his room, the lights are out, and someone grabs her. Okay, then we get the longest thrash metal song ever recorded. A really generic thrash metal song. While this thing plays and plays and plays, we watch feet walking down the street. For about two minutes. Then we watch an elevator door open and close while the opening credits are displayed. This takes probably 8 - 10 minutes. Then we're lucky enough to watch the camera go around in a circle over a bunch of garbage laying on a floor. And the thrash metal song still plays! Congratulations movie makers, this marks the first time I've hit the fast forward button withing the first two minutes of a movie.Then we meet our characters. The guys are basically dirtbags, and so are the girls. A couple of the girls are quite well endowed, which is about the only good thing in this whole movie. Even though they all look to be in their mid-late twenties, we're apparently supposed to believe that they're too young to buy alcohol, so we waste some time as they discuss how they're going to get alcohol and then we waste some more time actually watching one guy standing outside a liquor store trying to talk somebody into buying beer for them.Anyhow...they eventually arrive at this building where they're going to do some partying. It's under renovation, so nobody lives there. Oh, except for the slasher. The "kids" go up to the roof and we get another thrash metal video. At least the photography is nice this time, the cameraman zooms in on the girls' chests quite a bit. Then we waste some more time as they play with a Ouija board (one girls spends a while talking about how dangerous it is), and it spells out "death". Oh yeah, now we're terrified. A couple wander off for a makeout session, and the slasher kills them in a pretty routine manner. I have to say, there is a fair bit of scary atmosphere when they're wandering around inside the dark building. Unfortunately, it's too little and way too late to help this movie much.Another couple wanders off and gets killed in another pretty boring scene, then the others meet a crazy lady who explains the killer's motives to them. This scene is pretty laughable actually. They're running for their lives but stop to chat with a crazy lady, lol. The showdown between the killer and the last survivor is pretty good actually, I'll give them credit for that. Okay, now the movie's pretty much over, but we get another music video, a completely pointless surprise, and then ten solid minutes of closing credits. Whew, I think we can almost call this a movie now!Overall, crummy characters, so much padding it'll have you fast forwarding within five minutes of putting in the DVD, no plot whatsoever - even for a slasher - and a small amount of good atmosphere. A small amount of T&A;, and some boring deaths. It's not the worst thing I've seen lately, but it's in the ballpark.