Product: Constantine [Blu-ray] (2012)
Rating: 1.0
An Unmitigated Disaster on Every Level
Score, camera, story, special effects, acting - all are equally horrible. This is so godawful it cries out for a cult following. In the first minutes one sees excerpts from The Matrix, the Exorcist, Omen and countless others of this genre. Only this time there is no coherent plot.Start with a story so utterly illogical that even attempted explanations by other viewers (each had a different take) failed to break the puzzle...what in the world was it about? Reeves, the Buddhist, as a wayward exorcist was about as believable as Howdy Doody in the role of Einstein. Some of the scenes were so embarrassing I actually cringed and can imagine the number of takes it took to complete without laughter.Is it God vs Satan, God's son vs Satan's son, demons vs angels or "half breeds" vs people? The film suggest a combination of each. Try to forget the androgynous Saint Michael, a closet nutcase? Same for Mr. Voodoo, the young assistant (who is killed off in the end) or the worst actor in history, the phony priest. His death scene evoked gales of laughter. Nothing makes sense - the suicides, "seeing things", the visits to Hell (lifted out of the Terminator), the "secret" underground world is about as hidden as a full moon. The love story is yet another disaster as is the absurd device of dying by lung cancer. How trite can you get? With this movie, nothing is sacred.Even the CGI was muddled. Despite the horror one could get bored at what has surely been seen a thousand times. I would gladly recommended this to captured terrorists but fear it would be ruled as "cruel and unusual punishment".