Product: Under the Tuscan Sun (2003)
Rating: 3.0
That's Amore!?
God, how I wanted to like this movie! I mean...Diane Lane, the breath-taking Tuscany countryside and a gorgeous, though extremely run down, villa. Whats not to like? Unfortunately plenty.Don't misunderstand me though. The idea of watching Diane Lane for two hours is something that, for the most part, I find enjoyable, if not entertaining as well but... For the most part stooping to the usual Hollywood cliche's by making our heroine a perennial victim ( cheating hubby AND uncaring lover! ) is not only transparent and terribly obvious but almost patronizing as well. Why is it that Hollywood feels the need to make women total victims of lousy husbands/boyfriends in a pathological desire to cast the films star as innocent and therefore extremely likable? And sadly that's just the beginning of the film that I had originally thought was to be a humorous yet sensitive movie concerning a womans growth and bid for independence. But it was not to be. Cliche's abound and during my initial viewing I almost cringed at dialogue that was less then sterling and a story line that was almost little more then a 'Lifetime Channel for Women' movie of the week.After our heroine decides to purchase the 'fixer-upper' of her dreams she moves in and with all of the subtlty of a Lucille Ball/Desi Arnez sit-com finds herself in one silly situation after another. Most of those being so contrived and obvious that I could almost tell what might happen next. You know...language problems, getting hired handy men to do their jobs, nosy neighbors, blah, blah, blah. No doubt you get the idea. All the while Ms. Lane makes friends with some of those wacky locals ( why are locals in these types of films always silly and full of character? ). Sadly, the cliche's truly never stop. And if it wasn't for the truly beautiful setting and stunning landscapes I probably would have given up but that may be this films only saving grace.Nevertheless, of course Ms. Lane meets a gentleman who she seems smitten with and with all of the emotional maturity of an over-sexed sixteen year she old falls in love with the Italian Stallion. Though once again to be done wrong by the cad who doesn't exactly return those very same amorous feelings. Rats! Poor Diane. Just another rotten guy that has no true feelings! Also, why do people in movies such as this fall in love with all the ease of changing one's clothes? Anyway, its all so painfully obvious and juvenile I almost used the DVD as a frisbee to relieve the rotten mood that this movie had put me in. Sorry to all fans of this movie but God knows the victim mentality that permeates this film is not only over-bearing but pandering as well. I guess I was supposed to be wringing my hands all the while thinking, " Poor, poor Diane. "Well, of course at the very end of this...whatever you may call this umm thing, our heroine meets yet devastatingly attractive bachelor. Seems as though in this movie their falling out of the trees! Yes, all wells that ends well and perhaps Diane has found true love after all. You would have thought by this time that Ms. Lane would have learned her lesson but in true Hollywood fashion love conquers all and I suppose that the directors wanted the audience to cross their little fingers and hope that she has found that one true knight in shining armour. Thereby assuring our heroine that she will live happily ever after since in the movies no woman is ever really happy unless she has found her life-time mate. Again, sorry but the nauseating factor at this point was well past the point of anything redeeming this schlock that must cater to women who still believe in soul-mates, puppy-love and Cinderella endings. Ugh!