Product: The Transformers - The Movie (1986)
Rating: 2.0
An honest review of TFTM.
Ah, Transformers: The Movie. I'll admit it, I *like* TFTM but that's because I was fond of the movie as a child. Generally, 99.9999% of the reviews are "This is the Greatest Film Ever." Those people are either totally blinded by nostalgia or are too heavily medicated. This is no 'Dumbo.' 'No Bambi.' This isn't even a 'Rescuers: Down Under.' It's one of the poorer animated films, released as a major motion picture, from the last half of the twentieth century. Where to begin? It's obvious that TFTM is an hour and a half commercial for the 1986 line of the Transformers toys, so that's barely worth mentioning. The biggest insult of TFTM is that it took characters whom children had bonded with over the past two years and needlessly and mercilessly slaughtered them so that they could start more or less from scratch with the new wave of toys. Filled with painfully cheerful and worthless hair rock, the soundtrack adds very little to the actual film. It's only another layer of dead skin that you have to tear off to reach the actual core of the movie. That core is...quite thin. It's the archetypal hero story. It's possible that the writers didn't understand what an archetype was, as the plot of the movie was plucked directly from 'Star Wars.' The animation is sub-par, riddled with dozens and dozens of errors. If you're a fan of the series and you weren't scarred by it as a child (as _many_ were) you may enjoy this. If you're not a fan of The Transformers, do yourself a favor and skip TFTM.