Product: Rollerball (2002)
Rating: 1.0
So bad - its bad
One has to ask why anyone would want to remake Rollerball in the first place. Aside from the rather interesting James Caan in the starring role, the flat direction by Norman Jewison and the almost laughable story guaranteed this film a place among the greatest cult films ever. Perhaps the makers of this version mistook its cult status for popularity when they imagined that this remake would appeal to today's audience. As if it was an indication of how the film would do, it was pulled from its original release date and "retooled" (Hollywood speak for shelved) before new trailers were made and the film was given a high profile launch earlier this year. It was all for naught, it seems, as this film couldn't be any worse. The DVD version is the R rated cut, giving teen audiences the blood and bare breasts that they missed in the PG-13 theatrical version. The slight glimpses of Rebecca Romjin-Stamos' breasts and some slight gore don't make up for what is ultimately a car wreck of a film, that fails to achieve on any level.Chris Klein stars as Jonathan, the new superstar of Asian supersport Rollerball - the sport of near future kings - a combination of motorcross, Jai A'lai, and roller derby. With a clumsy opening credits sequence wherein an enthusiastic american announcer (played by a guy doing a Rowdy Roddy Piper goes to Pittsburgh accent) explains the rules of the game - we are introduced to our first taste of the sport. That the sport is as chaotic and violent as it is - what with motorcyles and people being hit with metal balls, etc. - it makes one wonder why anyone would bat an eyelash at people being killed during the matches. However, Chris Klein and co. become suspicious when they suspect that fatal accidents are being arranged to help boost ratings (incidentally, in this future a giant scoreboard reports the ratings numbers stock ticker style so the game's owner - played with bored detachment by Jean Reno - can immediately see how these "accidents" help boost the ratings. And, in another odd bit of out there movie reasoning - the second something dangerous happens in the game, these numbers jump by hundreds of millions of viewers (how such a fickle fan base manages to tune in at a moments notice is puzzling - but I digress).As a fan of McTiernan's other films (Die Hard, Die Hard With a Vengeance, Predator, and even the Thomas Crown Affair) I expected that no matter how bad the story was, the Rollerball scenes would be well executed enough to hold my interest. After all, we never liked Die Hard for Reginald Vel Johnson - did we? Alas, it seems that John McTiernan saw the futility of the project and gave up long before shooting began. The action scenes are flashy and flat - sacrificing a well built scene in favor of the quick flash of less than impressive effects and stunt laden glitz. Its almost as if Mc Tiernan handed over control of the film to a second unit director itching to get his hands on a real film. Of course blame should be shared by cinematographer Steve Mason, whose camerawork shows that he doesn't have the imagination to shoot make believe sport films (add rollerball to the equally treacherous BASEketball of a few years back), his lensing of many scenes feels made up on the fly - and many times it doesn't work. This is espescially true of a long nighttime chase sequence shot through a green tinted lens that gives the scene the look of being filmed through night vision goggles. Equal parts distracting and headache inducing, it is one of the worst cases of a crime against cinema in recent memory.Not that the actors do much to help the film along. Chris Klein, bless his heart, is so out of place in a film where it is required that he exhibit emotion or act like anyone other than Chris Klein. It's as if the rest of the cast and crew went along with making the film so as not to make him feel bad. I felt like a parent at a 3rd grade school play, watching someone else's kid butcher the production. Suffice it to say that when L.L. Cool J is forced to carry the film - the film is in trouble.Rollerball is bad. It will never be revered as a piece of bad cinema to be enjoyed on the level of Showgirls or even Ernest goes to Jail. Rather, it will eventually find its way to the [price] reduction bin at [local store] - and even then its probably not a good purchase.