Product: Bloodsport [VHS] (1988)
Rating: 5.0
The most quotable movie I know
This receives 5 stars, not quite based on cinematic quality (lord knows!), but on stupid fun quotient and quotability. From gems like "What's it matter if Bruce Springsteen is his shidoshi?" to "Very good, but brick not hit back", this charmer of a screenplay delivers cheesy retors and threats like the UPS guy drinking a speed-and-skittles milkshake. The kung fu action is meritable, and the great Oscar clip of Van Damme (the Bruce Lee of 1987 kung fu biopics about Kumite fighting) holding his eyes from a dusting of poisonous enriched flour by the hands of D-cup Bolo Yeung is classic, right up there with Rocky's "ADRIAN!" and that movie with that guy in it about drugs or something. What was that movie? It's a classic, I think. Do you know? Wasn't it directed by David Keith? He's dreamy.So, buy this classic. Today. Drop everything you're doing, even if it's breastfeeding your new born calf. Buy "Bloodsport," then sit back and enjoy with a Colt 45 and some yogurt-dipped almonds. You'll be glad you did. And remember, "OKAY, USA!!"