Product: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Original Uncut) [Region 2] (1974)
Rating: 1.0
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
This is perhaps the stupidest movie ever made. If not the most stupid, it should easily make the top five (or would that be the bottom five?). Either way, the acting is terrible, the sound is horrific, and the plot appears to have been written during an afternoon of drinking and football watching.Five idiotic morons, one in a wheelchair, are in a van in rural Texas. They stupidly pick up this total scumbag hitch hiker who proceeds to give everyone the creeps, but he isn't thrown out of the van until he cuts the dork in the wheelchair. The wheelchair guy is easily the most annoying of all the cast members. After hearing him deliver two lines, I was ready to take my chainsaw and destroy my TV.One by one the youths go to this old farmhouse and encounter the idiot with the chainsaw. Oddly enough, his chainsaw starts on the first pull, and stays running throughout most of the 15-20 minutes of his scene. I kept wishing for it to behave like a real chainsaw and stop running for no apparent reason, or at least run out of gas. Unfortunately, it did neither, it just ran. So the fat guy with the mask (presumably made from human skin, but we don't know for sure) runs through the woods at night chasing down his victims.By the end of the movie only the blond bimbo is left alive. For her part, all she does is scream. I began to wonder if she was paid by the scream, in which case she must have done all right for herself. She gets recued by some unknown hero in a pickup truck and they ride off into the distance.If you must watch this dud, then I suggest do it with the volume either off on on real low. I recommend this not because the movie is scary, but because the sound will either cause your wallpaper to peel, or your skin to crawl. I can't understand how anyone with an IQ higher that 20 can give this movie any kind of positive review. It's just plain dumb.