Product: The Descent (Original Unrated Cut) [Blu-ray] (2006)
Rating: 2.0
Just go watch Alien again.
I was expecting good things from this one, with all the hype it's been getting but I ended up disappointed. Things start out pretty slow, but I don't mind when filmmakers take their time to develop their characters and lay the groundwork for what's coming. That's not what they did. You get an hour of bad dialog between characters that are nearly indistinguishable while they explore a cave. They're all more than a little bit irritating, so by the time something actually happens you're trying to figure out which one you hope gets it first (my pick got it, the only part of this film that wasn't dissapointing). Gollum-like monsters begin chasing the girls around in typical horror movie fashion, and we discover two of the girls have some kind of innate ninja abilities that allow them to fight off large quantities of Gollum-monsters. The rest of the girls buy it, but that doesn't really matter because you can't tell them apart anyway. The movie ends without giving any closure, but kind of implies that maybe not everything actually happened. You know, just so people will confuse the lack of plot for some kind of mystery they need to figure out.In short, this thing is plagued with characters with no depth that routinely do unbelievable things (even by horror movie standards), scares that are all created by cheap camera tricks and editing, and a story that tries to be more than what it is. People have said it really captures the claustrophobic experience of being trapped in a cave, but that's really unavoidable when you're movie is in a cave. It's like saying Jaws really captured the wetness of the ocean. That's great and all, but I'd rather they captured the experience of an enjoyable movie.