Product: Date Movie [UMD for PSP] (2006)
Rating: 1.0
An utterly horrible, horrible, horrible excuse of a movie
Date Movie should be shown non-stop to all captured Al Qaeda prisoners - only mass-murdering terrorists deserve the kind of cruel and unusual punishment this film dishes out from start to finish. Let me be perfectly clear about this: Date Movie may be the worst movie ever made; it's certainly the worst comedy ever even conceived of. You may cry, you may scream, you may even go insane at the infinite stupidity of this film, but you will not laugh or grin or even smirk at the abysmal antics on display here - not once. It doesn't matter if you get any of the jokes or recognize all of the films and other things being spoofed because this movie thoroughly blows chunks. The only thing I got out of this movie was an awful headache. If you ask me, everyone associated with this film should be banned from the entertainment industry for at least ten years - if not for life. Had the first fish who ever crawled out of the water known that millions of years of evolution would give birth to Date Movie, he would have stayed in the ocean.Whatever happened to that sweet and charming girl we came to know during the first couple of years of Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Why and how did it ever come to this: Alyson Hannigan humiliating herself in such raunchy, tasteless, unoriginal drivel? She can still light up the screen with that smile of hers, and she certainly put a lot into her performance, but I'm embarrassed for her here. She plays an overweight, very disgusting waitress from a mixed family (boy, is it mixed) who is desperate to find her Prince Charming. After convincing Hitch (Tony Cox) to help her find love, she's given a complete overhaul (literally), plunked down into a reality dating show, and actually finds a man. We watch them go through the dating stage, the meet the in-laws stage, and the wedding stage, encountering a number of obstacles to their future happiness. Really, though, the story is unimportant; all the script cares about are stereotypes, clichés, toilet humor, and things that make you go yuck. There's no joke too hackneyed, no visual too disgusting, and no dialogue too stupid to throw in the mix.I'm generally a fan of dumb comedies and ridiculous spoofs, but this mess doesn't even qualify for the genre. Date Movie is so utterly atrocious that you can't even laugh at it. It's a complete and utter failure in every way possible.