Product: Someone Like You [VHS] (2001)
Rating: 1.0
Now, who's a cow?
This movie was not promising from the beginning. You know when Marisa Tomei, who reminds me of a Female-Italian Woody Allen wannabee, begins analyzing yet another relationship dynamic. Now she has enlisted the help of 21-forever Ashley Judd. Of course it is Ashley who comes up with this new-age bunk that becomes the "bible of the month" to women who always seems to get dumped on. I got a good one for you women. Date a man uglier than you and he will be faithful forever.Ashley Judd plays Jane Goodale (not the one that saves the monkey), a self absorbed TV booker for a tabloid talk show a-la Sally Jesse Raphael. She seems to have things going well in her life, when she meets Ray Brown, a loveable guy who is new the job. He's in a three year relationship but of course it is ho-hum. So he initiates an relationship with Jane and they get hot and heavy. Two months later (although in the movie it is more like 4 minutes), they move in together. But nay...Ray gets cold feet and runs back to his sweetie.This leaves Jane in a bind and heartbroken. She has given her notice (and in NYC you're screwed if you do that...trust me) and is forced to roomie with the company playboy/badboy/chauvenistic pig. The pig (or bull) is Eddie Alden, played by Hugh Jackman who looks like a cross between Tim Daly/Wayne Gretzky and Scott Baio and he is the little playboy, seemingly picking up all the sleazy women. This of course infuriates the hurt Jane and she focuses her thoughts on why guys leaves women. Hence her "new cow" theory. Her theory goes like this....Men are the bull and women are the cows. The bull will shack up with the new cow, but once he has spread his seed, he will look for the "new cow" and never touch the now "old cow". I guess this is one of Darwins theory of evolutions brought to mainstream pop culture/new age.Of course, the roomies become closer and the inevitable begins to happen. Jane's article which appears in a magazine makes her the talk of the town and she finds happiness with the man she thought she would never want to hook up with....This movie stank on all levels. First, the psychology makes no sense. They throw some dubious facts and call it reality. This "new cow" theory I guess would make no sense in places like Asia, where the divorce rates are less than 10%. I guess half the Americans who live monogamously would find this bunk laughable, as would those men who want to be monogamous. What about "new bull" syndrome? Don't cows also leave bulls to be with other bulls? Give me a break.Even worse than this silly theory/philosophy is the script. Jane is given a little treatment and we do feel a little sympathy for her blindness (cause we all probably did a "Goodall" once in our lives), but her relationship with Ray is passed over so quickly, that many of my friends agreed that Jane and Ray never developed a bond with each other. I mean, in the couple of scenes, they have sex and BOOM, they move in together!? The other failed relationship is between Jane and Eddie. They pretty much stay out of each other's hair. She hates Eddie for the way he is, because he proves her theory right, but there should be at least a little sexual tension or flirting right? Nothing. They just kiss at the end because the script called for it. I didn't even know that they were in to each other at that point.This movie attempts to be a Sex in the City, but it is contrived and never develops into anything. I know that this was based on a book, but if the book is anything like this stinky movie, I would recommend that you try something better....like Chocolat.....Rating: D