Product: All the King's Men [Blu-ray] (2007)
Rating: 1.0
Cheese. With cornbread.
"All The King's Men" is a total mess and a spectacular misfire, a movie so poorly crafted by writer-director Steven Zaillian - who's directed some decent films - that it's not even fun to skewer. The acting is so arch and absurd, the story is so rootless and confusing and endless, droning, awful music is so melodramatic, that it mostly earns, mostly, our pity.Based on Robert Penn Warren's novel - itself based on the life of Louisiana politician Huey P Long - the movie uses narrator journalist Jack Burden (Jude Law) to follow a backwoods orator named Willie Stark (Sean Penn) from county official to powerful governor. Stark is a populist, relying on his "hick" voters to give him carte blanche to redistribute government funds to public works projects - roads, schools, hospitals.As "All The King's Men" opens, Stark is about to be impeached by the state legislature. For what? It's never made clear. Zaillian treats Stark like Jay Gatsby - nobody's quite sure of the truth. Instead of details, we get allusions and random subplots involving Jack's childhood friends (Kate Winslet and Mark Ruffalo) and surrogate father (Anthony Hopkins). All three play a role in Stark's fate, but their characters are ciphers. None of the performances are memorable.As Stark, Penn has two speeds. He's either a screamin bleeder, his voice breaking and his face ready to pop, or he's sleepily drawlin like he just ate a pan of cornbread. Stark speaks almost entirely in homilies, even in private moments. Penn's talent, which is turning the emotions of a role inside out, doesn't fit the role. He's bought too far into the myth of the guy.