Product: The Mummy Returns [VHS] (2001)
Rating: 2.0
It's A Terrible Movie, Really . . . . . . . . But . . . . .
. . . . . . .it's so watchable. THE MUMMY RETURNS is like this for many reasons, almost none of which have to do with the actual quality of the movie itself. In those terms, this movie is one of the very worst I have ever seen. Both plot and action are just so rushed and contrived that it all becomes . . . . well, rather boring (the exact opposite of what a film like this is supposed to be). That whole sub-plot with Evie (a very hot Rachel Weisz) being the reincarnation of an Egyptian princess is really stupid. Oh, and what's with all those little pygmy mummy things?! Comedic, perhaps, but pretty lame. Acting by most involved isn't all that great, especially the newcomers, and there are lots. So many, in fact, that character development is all but forsaken. On the other hand, that's okay, because most of the new actors/characters suck anyway.But like I said before, there are some things that make THE MUMMY RETURNS very watchable, depending on your mood. For starters:- First and foremost is the score by Alan Silvestri. It's one of the best I've ever heard! Such sweeping, epic music . . . WOW! The actual movie isn't worthy of the soundtrack. How often can you say that?- Okay, Oded Fehr just plain rocks, man! He embodifies the very word "cool"! Even though his character of Ardeth-Bey has been reduced to a 2-Dimensional "come-to-save-the-day" hero, his assured performance is one of the few saving graces of this film.- Third and least of all are the visuals. THE MUMMY RETURNS is a beautiful-looking film. The effects aren't what you'd call realistic, but they look super cool! The charging army of Anubis is a perfect example. The entire film is pure eye candy all the way.Alas, now for some more cons. One of the things I hate most about this movie is the treatment of Im-Ho-Tep. No longer a powerful figure, his inclusion to the story seems purely due to the fact that it's a mummy movie, though it's far less focused on him. In the first film, Im-Ho-Tep was a spectacular villain, menacing and intimidating. Now, of course, that's all left behind in favor of a stupid love story between him and the reincarnated princess (Patricia Velasquez, proving to be one of the worst actors alive today). Arnold Vosloo seems to realize how low his character has stooped, and he shows it in his performance.Moving on, two words: The Rock. I . . . . . HATE . . . . . . The Rock! He's such a terrible actor. I have yet to see THE RUNDOWN, however, and I heard he does pretty well in that. Regardless, he just plain sucks here, coming off as unintentially funny instead of cool. Or menacing. Or whatever it is he's supposed to come off as. Whatever it is, he fails miserably.I may be jumping around a bit in this review, but I just thought of another good thing in THE MUMMY RETURNS. That is the final confrontation between Rick O'Connell (Brendan Frasier) and Im-Ho-Tep. It's a spectaculer fight. Just consider all that's happened between these characters in the first film and how much they truly hate eachother. The dramatic tension and build-up, even the use of slow-motion, is fantastic. That is, all up until that darned CGI Scorpion King comes on (PS2, anyone?).And now for the main reason all my friends and I like to watch this movie: finding and pointing out all the other movies THE MUMMY RETURNS copies. It sound lame, but it's really fun! We came up with all kinds of stuff: STAR WARS, INDIANA JONES (no duh), THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER, E.T., THE GOONIES, you name it! You might try playing it as a game, with a point given to the person who finds and names the movie that has been copied. Our list reached something like 27, one time. You have to be creative, then!CONCLUSION: Go out right now and buy the awesome soundtrack. Whatever you do just don't buy the actual movie; it's not worth the price (well, maybe it is for 5 bucks on VHS). Rather, plan a night with your friends once ever six months or so, rent THE MUMMY RETURNS, and try out that game I mentioned. ; )