Product: Tailor of Panama [VHS] (2001)
Rating: 1.0
'Wag the Dog' with a sleazy 'James Bond'?
Summary:Andrew 'Andy' Osnard (Pierce Brosnan), an MI5 agent who has a tendency to 'screw' up missions despite being very good at getting information out of people (usually through sleeping with them), has been reassigned to Panama to help the British government determine the fate of the Panama Canal, which was recently returned to the ownership and direction of Panama. Andy hooks up with Harold 'Harry' Pendel (Geoffrey Rush), who is a tailor, mostly by digging up his true history as a criminal. Andy then uses this history (really the threat of making the history public), as well as a series of bribes, to get Harry to talk about all of his clients, which includes just about every major politician and businessman in Panama.However, Harry, who really is just a tailor, can't handle the pressure. He cracks and begins feeding Andy lies, a response to pressure he apparently developed in jail. As Andy continues to pressure him Harry's lies grow to ever-increasing proportions until it appears that Panama is about to sell the Canal to China, which obviously the U.S. and the U.K. aren't going to allow. Of course Andy is aware that what Harry is telling him are a bunch of lies, but he goes along with it, claiming to his boss that the rebel group that is hoping to regain control of the Canal before it can be sold, 'The Silent Opposition', just needs $15 million to successfully stage a coup.When the alleged opposition group leader is found dead the U.S. deems this a worthy reason to believe that everything is collapsing. The result - send in the troops. Just before the troops get there Andy snatches the money, pays a couple of quick bribes, and hightails it out of Panama, leaving Harry, and his wife, Louisa (Jamie Lee Curtis), who works for a major government official, to try to stop the impending invasion.My Comments:Other than decent acting by Geoffrey Rush and Jamie Lee Curtis, this is a horrible movie. Why? First, even though the combination of James Bond with 'Wag the Dog' is kind of unique, it's really pretty obvious that that is really all the movie is, a combination of plot devices that have been done (and much better I might add). A spy creates a scenario in which major world powers feel the need to go to war. Perhaps it is a decent premise, but when you consider it in light of the next criticism, it just doesn't work.My second major problem with the movie are the motivations, or lack thereof, of the characters. Sure, Andy is greedy, but that doesn't explain why he is willing to destroy so many people's lives by starting a war in Panama. Is there a motivation beyond his penile urges and his greed? Or is he really such a shallow character that he is just driven by greed and sex? And what about Harry? Why is he investing in farms? He's a tailor, and a successful one at that. Why does he resort to lying? The stated reason, that this is his defense mechanism learned while in jail, is pretty silly. The problems with the motivations of the characters makes them all very unconvincing and shallow. Even the attempts at backstory - flashbacks to the Manuel Noriega days - don't add much depth to Harry's character.The third problem is the limitless, gratuitous sex. Andy's affair with the embassy aide Francesca Deane (Catherine McCormack) is just that - sex. There must be 20 minutes of Andy and Francesca engaged in violent sex and for what? Nothing. He doesn't learn anything from her, he just has sex with her, over and over again. It doesn't advance the story in anyway. Andy also tries hitting on Louisa and even takes Harry to a gay bar. Maybe the director and producers realized that they didn't have a very good story so they opted for a mild porn ambience to sell this film. Whatever the reason, it can only be considered gratuitous.Add these problems to the other major story holes and you have a very forgettable movie. What happened to the U.S. intelligence? Why do they not back anything up with their own people? What about calling the president of the country? Where did Harry get the 'spy phone'? Why would Harry think his wife's papers he photographs are of any importance? And on, and on, and on...The political overtones to the movie are also kind of silly with the military being rampant warmongers that just want to kill, kill, kill; the politicians are all corrupt, etc.Overall this is really just a silly story with a lot of sex to try to compensate for it. The acting is mediocre, at best, and none of the characters are believable. It just doesn't work as a convincing film. Not recommended.