Product: Constantine [Blu-ray] (2012)
Rating: 3.0
Quick!!! Somebody send for Geraldine!!!!!
Never have we so needed Flip Wilson as we do now! The latest incarnation of "The Devil Made Me Do It!" has hit the screen with neo-plastic actor Keanu Reeves in the existential white boy role first so convincingly essayed by Jason Miller. Connie is a dead white guy somehow summoned back to avenge his own suicide by the sister of another suicide who is convinced that it might be....... Satan?The special effects have come along way since The Exorcist, but it's the same ol' hoodoo. I think this would have been a five-star, no holds barred, hysterically funny film if it had just been slightly re-cast with Flip's Geraldine and Dana Carvey's Church Lady running amok. Ain't no devil that powerful. Someone please summon Flip back out, get Dana and Bob and Doug MacKenzie back on the squad and let's give the devil his comeuppance. All this gizmo driven hi-tech, or Indian mystic kid boredom has to stop, even if the woods around Gladwyne are scarey at night. The world of movie lovers needs a hero, a Neo they can put their faith in, someone who can drag the devil by his wigger-wagger out into the light of day and give him a down home good Gospel goin-over. Or, in the words of another Canadian, "want to see something really scarey?"