Product: Under the Tuscan Sun (2003)
Rating: 2.0
OVERDRAWN AND UNNECESSARY SACCHARINE KILLS ITALIAN BEAUTY
I like a good romantic comedy as much as the next weak-kneed guy, but this chickflick (which it squarely is) had so many dumb moments that I had trouble enjoying the stunning visuals of a sun-drenched Italy.To begin with the pivotal character, Diane Lane. Her performance as a crestfallen divorcee American writer is a disappointing, she twitched and grimaced like a female Hugh Grant, using delayed reaction goggle-eyes instead of emotion.Needless scenes abound. The self-grabbing congratulatory dance she did in her bedroom after scoring with her young stud was just plain agonizing to watch. Another awful scene was when Patti came back pregnant and abandoned and lay in the bed crying. Diane Lane's face was vacant, with a fake little soap opera frown of concern on her brow and a simpering smile on her mouth. Awful, and inexcusable of the director to leave that shot in.Italian stereotypes? Truckloads:(1) Crazy old contessa who takes bird poop on the forehead of a stranger as a sign to sell her the prized villa. Okay, whatever, even though she would have gotten more money from the German couple who had first dibs.(2) Suave love-em and leave-em Romeos? All over the place. Even a romantic stud who says things like "Your eyes are beautiful. I would love to swim in them".(3) Simple, good-hearted locals happy to pick your olives for you? A villageful.(4) An inane young couple whose parents don't consent to their idiotic relationship? Yes, and our American sweetheart swerves their mind in less than 5 minutes.(5) People falling from trees in the backyard. Yep.(6) Three Italian construction workers who worked for 8-9 months for almost nothing while maintaining a wonderful attitude all the time? Hmm.Whether all of this Hollywood view of countryside Italy suits your gullible palate or not, all of this is just too drawn out to retain a viewer's attention.To add a final dollop of fuel to the fire, after all these ordeals, our poor Ms. Frances ends up with a goofy-looking failed American writer anyway. All that prime Italian beefcake down the drain. Like my evening watching this.