Product: Ring of Darkness (2004)
Rating: 3.0
A Little Something For the Ladies
I've heard much about David DeCoteau's campy horror flicks over the years but this is the first one I've actually seen. Three stars might seem generous but I'm rating it for what it is, not comparing it to "Citizen Kane" here.Where to begin...if you enjoy looking at hunky young guys, I recommend you suspend your disbelief, check your brains at the door and enjoy yourself. The storyline cashes in on the waning popularity of boy bands and the booming business of reality TV - A singing group, comprised of four male zombie hotties, is forced to kill their fifth (and sole human) member, the lead singer, a Justin Timberlake type, when he threatens to go public with their secret. Once they've dispatched him, the search is on for his replacement. Adrienne Barbeau, phoning it in as the group's manager, hosts the three finalists during their "audition" show down, American Idol/Survivor-style, at a remote island retreat.The film looks like it was made with a fairly sizeable budget compared to a lot of C-grade horror flicks; it's well shot & stars Barbeau as well as real-life American Idol finalist Ryan Starr (who turns in a forgettable, wooden performance). Even still, there are many odd, inexplicable elements - such as all the singers voices sounding EXACTLY like the original recording of the band's big hit during their open auditions (because the filmmakers were too cheap to re-record the vocal track for each actor so they all merely lip-synch to the same vocal track). And one of the band members, who eerily resembles Eminem, being a racist who refers to the lone black finalist as an "African American." How many racists do you know who refer to blacks as African Americans? A little too obviously PC.But other than a few glitches, this movie is a real hoot. DeCoteau is famous for slipping double entendres into supposedly mainstream films as a wink to his (...) audience and "Ring of Darkness" is no exception. This actually makes the film more entertaining than if it was overtly (...). A secret blood ritual in the middle of the night performed by four hard bodies wearing nothing but tight black briefs? A bedroom scene featuring a bodacious Swedish groupie promising to "share" one of the hot male finalists with the other four group members? Hints of a sapphic liaison between Adrienne and Ryan? Horror has never been more outrageously kinky than this.Last but not least, a surprisingly affecting performance by Stephen Martine, the male lead, is merely icing on this sickeningly sweet cake. If you're looking for a night of mindless good fun, definitely check this one out.