Product: Greenfingers [Region 2] (2002)
Rating: 1.0
This movie should have been detained by U.S. Customs.
Gardening is actually a sort of an interesting subject for a movie, especially for us in the U.S. where we don't see it on prime-time television, but this movie is so terrifyingly god-awful that it negates any points for slight originality. And to be fair, you have to wonder if gardening is the only endeavor not yet portrayed on the screen as an unlikely affinity for the downtrodden to raise their station (all sports have been done, as have art, writing, poetry, and math, Billy Elliot is still on the new release shelves, etc).Helen Mirren, who rarely miscues, unfortunately phones in her performance, but even her best would have gone unrewarded in perhaps the worst movie ever made involving prison, gardens, England, people, or hats.Plot summary: Hardened criminals turn to gardening and become law-abiding constructive citizens. Yeah right. Lots of fun watching the big burly men learn about planting flowers. Just be sure to duck when you're the theme of self-nurturing comes at you like a battering ram every ten seconds. But -- and this is super suspenseful -- will they be able to strut their gardening stuff at the big English garden show? What do you think? Might there be a few cameos by famous gardeners? Oooh, what a treat!From the Hogan's Heroes kind of prison scenes to the worn-out English upper-class stereotypes (with the obligatory heart of gold savior) this movie has barely enough material for a very, very bad made-for-TV movie, and the only ones who deserve prison are the individuals responsible for bringing this nightmare to the screen.One star because Helen Mirren's still cool. Helen, you owe us a Prime Suspect 6 for this.