Product: 50 First Dates (Widescreen Special Edition) (2004)
Rating: 1.0
Like having a sore in your mouth
I like to hurt myself. I wasn't fully aware of this fact until I recently completed watching "50 First Dates" staring the diverse satirical genius that is Adam Sandler. That's right, I watched all 90 minutes of it. Like having a sore in your mouth that you just can't resist continually poking with your tongue I kept watching. What's more is that I knew what was coming before I even hit play, it's Adam Sandler, the modern day Rosie O'Donell for god sakes. It was like drinking a fifth of Gordon's Vodka, I knew it would be ill but I guess I just wanted to remind myself what ill was like.Once again we are treated to the silver screen magic of Rob Schneider and Sandler. And once again Rob Schneider proves he is an actor's actor; the way he is able to continually reinvent himself is truly magnificent. With this film he confirms that he is almost a better sidekick then malaria. This time he plays a Hawaiian local and Sandlers best pal. They both work with animals which are a key comedic element in the film. Sandlers back and forth bantering with sea lions and dolphins is reminiscent of the 80's film "Beastmaster" staring Kevin Bacon or at least a guy that looks like Kevin Bacon. Sandler is the ultimate island playboy till he meets Drew Barrymore. They fall in love and all is well. But the next day it starts raining in paradise (both literally in the film as well as figuratively in this review). She doesn't remember him! Turns out that she forgets what happens each day due to an auto accident with her father 7 months ago. She has no short term memory so she is mentally stuck on the day of the accident which happens to be her father's birthday. So each day her dad and brother pretend like it's his birthday. They have stacks of news papers from that day, they watch video taped TV with her that they have seen hundreds of time etc etc so she has no idea what happened and doesn't get sad. I know it's a movie but it is so dam ridiculous I questioned my free will as I sat at my desk and continued to watch the film. Even when Sandler gets hipped to this crazy routine he cant help but make her fall in love with him each day while simultaneously vomiting his trademark hilarity all over the screen.The best way I can end this review is to write a short list of movies that are better then this one.1) Waterworld2) Anchorman (but just barely)3) Blackula (the black vampire movie)4) Slackers5) Iron Eagle 26) The New Karate Kid (the one where Mr. Miogi trains a girl and finds out what a "period" is)7) Cool As Ice (starring Vanilla Ice)8) Teen Wolf Too9) Blade 510) The American Pie Trilogy (yes, 50 First Dates is that bad)