Product: Super Mario Bros. [VHS] (1993)
Rating: 1.0
My Childhood is Dead
My father took me to see this movie when it came out in 1993. I was terribly excited; I loved Mario and Luigi, and, while the movie confused me, I actually enjoyed it.So when I was cruising around Amazon.com one day, I saw the movie for only 10 bucks! So I ordered it.I figure the only reason that I liked this movie when I was 10 is for the same reason that kids dare each other to eat worms.All I can say is . . . wow. In the space of 90 horrible minutes, my inner child died. Yoshi looks like a disgusting booger. Luigi has no mustache. No Princess Toadstool. And Koopa's some evil businessman with stupid hair.After the movie, I sat down and cried. I cried harder than when Optimus Prime died. I cried harder than I did when I found out that Cobra Commander was an alien. I cried for all the children of the world and their shattered dreams, for Mario, our hero, had come in the form of Bob Hoskins--and he had destroyed our hopes, our aspirations.In other words, save the ten dollars. Go buy a Ninja Turtle if you're really desperate to re-discover your inner child.