Product: La Pianiste (Original French Version)
Rating: 1.0
Viewer Beware
I have never written a review before, but I fear I could be held criminally liable if I did not warn anyone about to waste his money or her time on this movie, just as I would be if I knew that there was a bridge out up ahead and failed to warn oncoming traffic. There are so many things wrong with this movie that it makes one wonder whether or not it was made deliberately to goof on viewers and critics.The plot, if it may be called that, is so creaky that a gallon of Three-in-One couldn't help it. Based on a psychological insight so ham-fisted that even a student in Psyc 101 would giggle, it takes about thirty seconds to determine the basic course of the movie. The main character spends her days brutalizing her students verbally and emotionally while secretly longing--are you ready for the surprise twist--to be physically brutalized in her turn by a lover, within earshot of her harpy of a mother no less. Enter the handsome young man, athlete, engineer, pianist, who is by turns repelled and attracted by the sado-masochistic fantasy, although why is anybody's guess, as one certainly doesn't get much of a clue from his dialogue or his actions. He also utters what has to be one of the funniest lines in the history of cinema during the rape scene, although rape may or may not be the correct word in this context. (And, admittedly, I do not speak French, so had to rely on the subtitles, but I don't think the translators would have gotten that particular line wrong and not any of the others.)There is one group who will, no doubt, enjoy this film, Francophobes. They will find all of their worst stereotypes of and prejudices about the French resoundly re-affirmed: the snobbery, the pretentiousness, the sexual deviance, etc. About the only one missing is that we never see any of the main characters driving a car.Someone, I can't remember who, once reviewed a book by saying that it was a book not to be put down lightly, but to be thrown with great force. I think that aptly sums up this film as well.