Product: Rollerball (2002)
Rating: 1.0
Perfect example of why there is no need to remake ANYTHING..
Rollerball is a remake of a 1975 science fiction film of the same name that only succeeds in showing what the world would be like if the XFL had become the rage. With how many problems this movie had in production, it was a surprise to see it touch theatres.Chris Klein, LL Cool J, and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos all phone in their roles as rollerbladers in a high stakes game that is televised worldwide. The cookie-cutter nemesis is played by Jean Reno as the owner and general manager of the tournaments. And with John McTiernan (director of Die Hard) at the helm, the whole thing is unexcusable. It looks like he is well past his prime.In the original, the hard-core sport of Rollerball was a way for the ruling government of the world to show that individual effort was useless and futile, and only ended in death. In this unworthy remake, the ruling corporations are replaced by managers of the game with no other motive than to get higher ratings and greater profits.This action disaster takes no hints from it's predecessor. The James Caan version was timeless, using classical music to keep the movie from being dated and holding the action with a very well-done sci-fi backstory. This is a movie filled with pop music that doesn't even fit the action and a barely-there plot that is filled with unnecessary car races and entirely unexciting action scenes.The game consists of rolling around a figure eight track with the help of rollerblades and teammates on motorcycles, trying to beat the other team by throwing a steel ball into a large gong. Unlike the strategy and planning that went into the original's gameplay, this version looks like a circus. The action is filled with slapstick falls and dubbed-in lines with the actors not even openning their mouths. Somehow it manages to be entirely unexciting, with even the announcer looking bored and immersed on and off. Spills look entirely unrealistic and overplayed, while music completely unfitting the action drones loudly. Costumes look like chromed rejects from cirque de solei, with oversized helmets looking downright silly. All in all, for a movie named after a game, no thought was put in and these are the worst parts of the movie.The plot jumps from here to there constantly with characters changing their standings instantly; leaving the viewer without a clue as to anyone's personality. To bring the movie up to an R rating after it's PG-13 theatrical run, unnecessary bare breasts and dubbed-in language have been placed rampantly. Cinematography during the action sequences is indecipherable, with horrible editing added in.By the time you get to the car chase filmed in night-vision and textbook face-off at the end, you realize some movies are great on their own and don't need an updating - they are great as they are. Do yourself a favor and pick up the original for a great action-science-ficiton romp that has brains and brawn.