Product: Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat [VHS] (2000)
Rating: 1.0
Anybody got any Tylenol?
Hmmm....how to sum up "Joseph And The Not-So-Amazing Technicolor Screamcoat?" Well, it stars Donny Osmond, Joan Collins, and a bunch of singing five-year-olds. How much more proof do you need that this is a complete waste of existance?It starts off with a bunch of screaming little kids running around in an auditorium, presumably at an elementary school. This goes on for about fifteen minutes. Really. This was enough to give me a headache. Then again, considering how the rest of the movie went, I would've been happier just watching that for the next two hours.Why do I hate it? Well, for one thing, THERE IS NOT ONE SPOKEN LINE IN THE WHOLE THING! EVERYTHING - YES, EVERYTHING - IS SUNG!!! Yes, I know this is a "musical" - but even "Grease" has regular spoken dialogue. Also, the makeup and acting - it could not possibly be the least bit cornier. The whole production looks like the kind of dream you'd have after eating some old enchiladas you found in the back of your fridge. What an insult to everyone and everything.Do I really need to continue going on about how bad this movie is? I think not. Just don't watch it, and you won't need to run to your local drug store and pick up ten cases of Advil.Snoochie Boochie Noochies!