Product: The Next Best Thing (2000)
Rating: 1.0
The Next Best Thing to a Good Movie? Not Even Close.
"The Next Best Thing" attempts to accomplish three things: provide a realistic portrait of "unconventional" families that include a gay parent, promote tolerance for people regardless of sexual orientation, and, most daunting of all, show that its star, Madonna, can act after all. On all three counts, the movie fails. And miserably it does. Madonna is Abbie, a thirtysomething woman who, having been dumped by her boorish boyfriend, desperately tries to "settle down" with a husband and raise a family before it's "too late." On one evening, she and her gay pal (Rupert Everett) get severely intoxicated and later discovers she's pregnant (don't ask). They decide to move in together and raise the kid. That's as much as I can say without revealing spoilers, but I'll go ahead and add that "The Next Best Thing" is an exercise in across-the-board ineptitude. Madonna's performance just isn't convincing enough to earn our sympathy; she whines, pouts, and tries too hard to register with the audience. The rest of the characters are badly stereotyped: we have the queens who spend all hours discussing legendary Hollywood actresses, the tough-as-nails Black judge, and the thuggish, fried chicken-eating homophobic rappers. Worst of all is the script, which unnecessarily adds twist after twist in a desperate attempt to give the movie its much-needed dramatic thrust. Like "Mommie Dearest" and other camp classics, "The Next Best Thing" is entertaining for all but the right reasons. If you're looking for a movie to laugh AT but not laugh WITH, this flick is a perfect Saturday night rental. Otherwise, prepare thyself to be bored and insulted.