Product: Spongebob Squarepants: Movie
Rating: 1.0
Spongebob Movie BLOWS (!!!!) Bubbles...
OK, I know people'll hate me for saying this movie sucks. I know people will love me for saying anything SB-related sucks, but personally I love Spongebob and it's one of my top 3 favorite cartoons, but this louisy movie makes a mockery of this awesome franchise.The story is the worst part. Plankton frames Mr. Krabs for stealing King Neptune's (who looks like some cheesy nut out of "Teacher's Pet") crown so Neptune will kill Mr. Krabs and Plankton will be able to take the unguarded Krabby Patty Formula! However, Spongebob convinces Neptune to give him and Patrick about a week to retrieve the crown from the forbidden area of Shell City. However, Plankton finds out about this and sends the nearly invincible hitman, Dennis, to exterminate Spongebob and Patrick. Although this may seem like a heroic adventure, it's just too difficult for the writers to do when they've gotta' fill up 90 minutes, which ultimately screwed the movie up big time! Plus, the ending is totally unexpected in the most stupid and goofy way possible.Don't get me started on characters. First of all, Spongebob and Patrick hog the screen. Look, Spongebob is the least funny character and Patrick's stupidity is exxagerated so much, it just ain't funny! Plus, Sandy only has one 1-second line in the whole movie and Squidward, who establishes why SB is also funny for adults, has hardly any role in the movie and when he appears, doesn't act like his usual self. Now, he stands up for himself and wants to save Mr. Krabs: Is that at all like him?!?! Neptune and his daughter, Mindy, are just plain cheesy and unfunny! Dennis is pretty cool but a dangerous and seriously evil hitman just doesn't fit the SBSP universe. And the writers made a really stupid decision, thinking they could win the hearts of young-adult women with the cameo of Baywatch's David Hasselhoff...The animation, even though movie theatre screens are high-quality, isn't even as good as the show!The jokes are sparce in this movie! They are hardly any laughs and the few funny jokes are ones that little kids around age 5 aren't gonna' understand. For example, when Spongebob's acting all stupid, Mr. Krabs whispers something to him and Spongebob replies, "You're saying I'm making a what of myself?" Also, in one scene, Patrick and Spongebob are trapped inside a fishbowl and Patrick says "this must be some psychic wall of energy!": personally my favorite joke in the whole movie but I didn't hear any laughs besides me and several other people in the whole audience.I thought that the movie was advertised badly because Nick wanted to show the stuff that appeals to the little kids who can't interpret adult humor that is often featured in the show, so I had hopes that movie wasn't gonna be exactly like that. However, my worst fears have been answered. No one over the age of 5 should walk out of the movie theatre and say they loved this movie, period!