Product: Constantine [Blu-ray] (2012)
Rating: 1.0
Awful Movie,
Terrible, Terrible, Terrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I absolutely hated this movie. It was bad beyond belief. First of all the plot stunk. It's true it was so bad it was insane. People, THIS JUST IN, the heaven vs. hell concept has been done a million times. Okay maybe that would not have been such a bad thing if the writters had bothered to come up with something original to go along with the plot, but no, they had to go with the clich'e exorcism crap. Also the vision of hell in this film was so uninspired. It was just your typical inferno with demons running around making nasty faces at the camera. Also, the CGI really sucked. The demons looked awful and not to mention incredibly unoriginal. And another reason why the vision of hell stunk was the fact that it looked way to much like Lord of The Rings. It looked exactly like what Frodo saw when he put on the ring, even the voices calling in the backround were copied. I have to say though the main reasons why this movie failed was because of it's acting and the fact that the plot made hardly any sense. The whole first half of the film was just Constantine and that girl ( whose name I forget ) talking about hell and demons and the suicide of her sister, which got unbelievably boring. Then, BAM, half way through the film we randomly find out that satan is trying to rule the world with the birth of his son and the spear of destiney and blah blah blah blah blah. People, come on this would make Rip Van Wrinkle (spelling error?) fall asleep. Also what was with the guy who had the spear of destiney, you barely saw him the whole movie. Then he just pops in spontaniously at the end, like "look at me here I am!!!!!!" Also if Satan wanted the spear of destiny so badly why couldn't he just send one of his own followers to find it rather than hoping some random guy finds it. You'd think Santan, with all of his dark evil powers would be able to get the spear without much of a problem. The character was totally unnecessary just like practically every one else in the movie. That kid that who was with John was completely useless and contributed nothing to the film. The same goes for that priest guy and the dude who drank himself to death. They were both pointless. The acting in Constantine also leaves much to be desired. Keanu Reeves completely sucked as John. He was unbelievably monotone and not to mention completely boring. Rachel Weisz was pretty much the same way, monotoned. In fact the charcaters talked so quietly and unemotionally that you have to blast the volume on your TV just to hear what the characters were saying. And since the movie was extremely difficult to follow as it was that didn't make it any better. Also, like I said before the CGI stunk. The people who made this had a pretty lame idea of what was scary. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the halfdemons had red glowing eyes, fear them as they stare at you with their red glowy shinyness. The wings on the angels really stunk as well. There was also the lame atempt to make the main chracter look cool by making him smoke. They also expect us to believe that Constantine at the age of 35 ( or so ) has Lung Cancer from smoking 30 cigarretts a day. They said in the movie that he had been smoking since 15, it takes way longer than 20 years to develop lung cancer. Also what was with the R rating, this movie was so PG-13 there was no nudity, there was hardly any blood and the language was hardly what I call abundent. The film aslo could have been cut short by about 20 minutes, it was way too long.Well all in all the film stunk. And apparently I wasn't the only one seeing as how the film only got a 2 1/2 star rating.