Product: Mean Guns [VHS] (1997)
Rating: 1.0
Christopher Lambert Is Back.... Run away.
I have not read James Marcus' book, "Amazonia," but in a recent NPR interview, he insisted that during his Amazon tenure he was never pressured to write positive reviews of things he found crappy. However, Amazon's editorial review above makes me doubt such a claim. If the guy had said this movie is so bad that it's good, I could accept that. But to suggest that "Mean Guns" has redeeming qualities that anyone involved with it actually intended it to have? You've got to be kidding.Also, do not believe the overall user rating for this movie or the low ratio of helpful to unhelpful votes that my review will inevitably get (assuming anyone ever actually reads it). Most people who have rated it are probably Christopher Lambert fans, so they obviously have no taste. For anyone who realizes Lambert has less acting talent than a dead dog, let me inform you that "Mean Guns" is actually terrible. I will admit that I found it to be enjoyably bad -- the incompetence of everyone involved gave me a few pretty good laughs. But enjoyably bad is still bad. I will say this -- at least it was not nearly as horrible as the previous Pyun-Lambert project, "Adrenalin: Fear the Rush" -- a movie as boring as it was atrocious. But that ain't saying much.The absurd premise of this movie is that a bunch of members of Ice-T's crime syndicate have betrayed him. So he rounds them all up into a prison (a prison that will be put into use housing actual inmates the following day, mind you) and distributes all sorts of weapons among them: bats, guns, knives, you name it. The members of the syndicate are supposed to kill each other off and the last three members alive will split $10 million.A friend of mine once jokingly suggested that the plot to this movie was devised after Pyun found out that many of his actors could not stay on long enough to finish the movie (hence the pointless killing of all the characters as the movie progresses). Frankly, if my friend's suggestion turned out to be true, it would not surprise me in the least, because this movie makes no sense at all. Why nobody kills Ice-T, I don't know. Why Christopher Lambert leaves a kid in his parked car outside the prison while all this goes on, I don't know (or just can't remember). Why there are vampires in this movie, I don't know.All I do know is that it is bad.