Product review (5 stars): Old School Clean
This washing machine replaced a, literally, model year 1991 Maytag washing machine that came with my house when I bought it in 2015.  After 25 years of being in the house (and nearly 2 years of my own use), I retired the Maytag this past December.  It still ran, but it gotten noisier and noisier and parts availability was scarce.  Not even Maytag themselves maintained any specs on the machine to refer to.  Even when I rented, I had an the old-style agitator washing machine I dragged from apartment to apartment so when I went to buy a new one, I was a little bit unsure because the new HE styles always came with groans and complaints that clothes were never clean and that the machines felt cheap.

I went to a few appliance stores, selected a model, found the store selling it for the best price and went there.  The one with the least amount of terrible reviews under $700 was the goal.  The salesguy approached me and wrote down my order.  He said he would be GLAD to sell me the new machine I had selected, but he just wanted to *show* me the Speed Queen.  I stood there like the clueless recent-new-homeowner-guy-in-his-mid-30s that I am.  "Huh?  A what?!?"

At first, I was skeptical.  Speed Queen.  Reminded me of laundromats.  I'd never seen a Speed Queen in anybody's home before.  Everybody buys Amana, LG, Samsung, Maytag.  Speed Queen sounded like an off-brand with an inflated price.  Did this guy get a sick kickback if he sold me this trash?  But, then it all made sense.  Being in a laundromat gave it a weird connotation, but honestly -- those machines are in absolutely CONSTANT use and this company is able to create a machine that can deal with it, and furthermore, make it their specialty since residential sales are clearly not their strength.  They RELY on commercial sales.

He asked me to consider it.  Read the reviews on them.  Try to find a source that doubted their ability.  I could not find one.  I could not find a single place on the international interwebs that said they were a "bad buy".  Yeah, there is nothing HE about them.  It sucks up electricity and water at the same rate as my 1991 Maytag.  But, you know what?  Those clothes came out clean -- no questions asked.  Most of the reviews on the newest designs the big guys were making were negative.  That they didn't use enough water to remove dirt and stains.  That  their electronic components were unreliable and often rendered the machine useless when they failed prematurely.

Here's the Speed Queen smiling dopily in the corner.  It uses gallon after gallon of water, you'd think wastefully.  Like your grandma's old power-sucking washing machine.  You think I'm going to say it's "Not Your Grandma's Washing Machine".  You're wrong.  It *IS* your grandma's washing machine!!!  And it's effing amazing.  Not a single LED light bulb on it's display.  Not a single touch-sensitive sensor to change water temperature.  Nope.  This here is a series of chintzy-looking dials on a stationery backplate.  No bells.  No whistles.  No displays.

This washing machine is here to tell you that you don't *NEED* that crazy stuff.  Moreso, it's going to prove it to you.  It's going to cost you *more* than an entry level HE machine, which is enough to scare most people off.  It looks like something you could buy on Craigslist for $50, why should you spend [enter list price here] on it?  Here's why.

My friends and coworkers still whine about their HE machines giving out, breaking down, requiring replacement every 5 years.  Fighting for repair within warranty 6 months into ownership.  They still have coffee stains on their shirts.  Pizza grease on their pants.  Their white socks look like they ditched shoes for a day and wandered a swamp.

*My* clothes are clean.  CLEAN, I tell you.  I've only had this machine for 6 months, but I know I won't be replacing it in 5 years.  Because Speed Queen has a 10-effin-year warranty on most components!  I know, I know... "most" components.  You'd be right.  My appliance dealer, though, gave me *in writing* that everything is covered for 10 years... except the transmission.  That's only covered for 15... what?!?  Loads?  No, you animal -- years.  FIFTEEN YEARS for that part.  Did I mention it's made in Wisconsin?!?  Yeah, this washing machine smells like America's heartland... because that's where it came from.  It's blown in fresh from dairy farms where all the best cheese in 'Murica is made (but a special shout-out to all those European cheeses, too -- you make the world go 'round!).

I'm giving this Speed Queen a FIVE STAR review because it's unafraid to be unoriginal.  It has ONE JOB, cleaning your clothes, your sheets, your curtains, your small areas rugs like it's 1990... and it actually freaking does it right the first time.  I am converted.  Consider me in.