Product review (2 stars): So many surprises in just one machine!
Do you like to have your clothing randomly stripped of color?  Do you like to waste water wantonly?  Well, then, this is the washer for you!  This particular model of top-loading Whirlpool washer offers the following benefits-- if you following the manufacturer's directions and add the laundry soap at the bottom of the machine (sparingly, natch!), then loosely arrange your full load on top reaching just above the center line of the washing basket, you can experience the sheer wonder of discovering your brand new clothes, sheets, your favorite sweaters and familiar unmentionables come out stripped of color wherever they touched your (natural, normally non-damaging) detergent or low-suds laundry soap!

Would you prefer to keep your clothes undamaged and just wash them?  Do you like to play guessing games?  Well, you can do both of these things with your brand new Whirlpool washer!  Try the following difficult trick:  Add your laundry detergent after you've placed your clothes into the washing basket, but just before the washing cycle starts!  Should you miss adding the soap in the crucial 5.3 seconds after the basket fills partway with water but right before the clothes begin to agitate, prepare to experience cries of joy while watching your brand new soap and water in the basket drain out and refill, causing you to start the process over six, maybe seven times today!

Do you like to run?  How about running sprints?  Enjoy brief periods of exercise throughout the day by trying to wash your clothes without either damaging them or wasting water!  Here's what you have to do to get the full benefit of the Whirlpool sprints-- a) Place your non-damaging soap in the bottom of the washing basket.  b)  Start the wash cycle, but do not add any clothes just yet.  c)  Plan to stand and wait three to twenty minutes as the basket fills with water.  d)  Get called away for a phone call, and forget about the running washer in the garage.  e)  Remember you are washing clothes just as the empty washer begins to agitate. f) Shout profanities into the phone while running as fast as you can down the hallway through the living room into the kitchen where you will fling the garage door open, careen around the corner to the washer and rip open the lid.  g) Toss the clothes into the sudsy water in the basket, and spend the rest of the afternoon burning calories by worrying whether your clothes went through a full wash cycle or not.

I never knew I could be so entertained by one Whirlpool appliance, which we purchased brand new with a full warranty just last year!  Every item of clothing I own now features that distinctive Whirlpool color-stripped look, and the brand new 500-thread-count sheets that I carefully loaded into the machine last week look like they've been through the First and the Second World War in just one wash cycle!  As you can imagine, I am still crying tears of joy!

Call me wild, but I just love to read appliance instructions six, seven, or eight times in both French and English.  By following Whirlpool's instructions, I've finally found the machine that will fulfill my dream of damaging any garment and household item that managed to survive our pre-Whirlpool washing days.  I'd go back to using a laundry mangle or an off-brand washer, but I don't believe I'd get nearly as much exercise as I do with our current Whirlpool model, and I've come to relish the "antiqued" look this nearly-new washer offers to even the sturdiest fabrics.  Plus, I've got calves to die for after all those afternoons sprinting back and forth to do the laundry.  I would never have imagined that one washing machine could have so many benefits, but by golly, Whirlpool has gone and done it.  Thanks, Whirlpool!