Review: Charming, But Needs A Good Edit
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 07 19, 2014
This is a light, cheerful, charming book, with much to recommend it. It's too close to Richard Gere and Julia Roberts' "Pretty Woman" to be a coincidence. From the first hiring, to the Pygmalion scene (shopping and  dressing the young JJ), to the "deal is over, good-bye" to "but we're really in love with each other", this book tracks that classic movie. With a number of exceptions. Of course, it's a gay novel, so the characters are men, instead of a straight couple, and the younger one is not exactly a prostitute - although, in his desperation after being thrown out by his parents for being gay, he did accept money to sleep with someone he had already found crazy-attractive. In fact, for all intents and purposes, JJ is still a virgin.And the catalyst that drives the ending is Michael's mother. The rich young owner of Las Vegas' Caesar's Palace is terrified of his aggressive British "mum" who is endlessly trying to set him up with every available man on two continents. So he hires JJ to pose as his lover, just to keep her from further meddling in his life.Yes, it's another pretend-boyfriend novel. We all know how they end, with the "pretend" turning real.The writing is light and airy, though not exactly profoundly moving. Think of a smile, rather than a tug on your heartstrings. The description of their first date, with a helicopter taking them to the Hoover Dam, the Grand Canyon and Monument Park is particularly well-written, evoking the lush landscape with a minimum of words. I do wish she (I think T.L. Stowe is a woman, but I couldn't find any information about her anywhere online, and there was none in this Kindle e-book, either) were able to evoke the characters' hearts in a similarly subtle way. She doesn't, and falls back on that hoary old device: presenting us with JJ's diary as he writes it, reacting to each event and change in the situation. That device keeps us up to date, but doesn't touch the heart, at all.Which brings us to the ending. Everything was neatly tied up, and the two men obviously go off into the sunset with their obligatory happily-ever-after, but it's also quite abrupt, as though the author just ran out of steam.As for the editing, well that's another cup of tea entirely. Mixed tenses, past-tense verbs in future events, missing "little" words, like "a" and "the" that sometimes make it hard to understand without re-reading the line repeatedly while trying to interpolate "what the author meant by that" from what actually got published on the page, make this a sometimes-choppy read. I don't know if I get so upset at the editing (or lack of same), or the original writing demonstrating that the author has a real problem with simple English, but I never fail to be disappointed when I confront bad English, unvetted research ("state-of-the-art plasma screens" What, was this written in 2000? Does anyone even make plasma screens any more?), dates that don't match the characters' ages (reminiscing about the 1970's, when one character is only 19, and the other, 35?). These are not typos, these are amateur, sloppy errors. I can't complain because I paid virtually nothing for this book, and at that price, it's a great bargain, and shouldn't be missed. But I would think that an author's pride would require... oh well, enough said. I must admit that the editing quality of gay fiction has really begun to stick in my craw, and I sometimes just rant on.If you're looking for a very pleasant, light read with engaging characters, by all means, purchase this one. You won't be disappointed.