Review: I'm sorry, but... it's not good.
Rating: 1 out of 5
Date: 08 7, 2013
Having been a writer since I was 11 years old, I know how much courage it takes to put a story "out there" for others to read - to take the risk of rejection, while holding on to the hope that someone will say, "Yes, I loved it." So I applaud Ms. Elizabeth for having the courage to share this story in such a wide-open public forum.That said... she really should have kept the story private, sharing it only among friends, and asking for (and listening to) advice on how to make it better, because as it stands, the story really isn't good.Another reviewer has pointed out that the lead character, Grace, is a Mary Sue.  I agree with that wholeheartedly. The premise behind the character is interesting: a young girl who has visions of the past and future.  But the author takes the situation far beyond that, turning young Grace into a Jesus figure who "channels the power of the sun" and uses it to cure injuries and illnesses. Grace isn't at all 3-dimensional; she's perfection personified, as is her carrot-topped boyfriend, Chance.  We're told very little about any of the supporting characters, who are either very, very good, or very, very bad (in nature). The plot has no depth, either.  There's a catastrophe in the Silo.  Grace fixes everything.  (Well, almost everything.)  The end.Everyone has to start somewhere, and if the author's intention was simply to share her story with other WOOL fans, to join in on the party with the best work she could do, I'd be willing to cut her a lot of slack.  But, apparently, she didn't even bother to seek out the help of someone who could beta-read the story and help her correct the hundreds of punctuation, spelling and capitalization mistakes.Hanna, judging by the personal notes I've seen you post here and there, you seem like a lovely person. But I feel as if I need to be honest with you, in a way that the 5-star reviewers are not. On Amazon, you're offering your work for SALE. In a situation like that, I believe you owe it to your potential audience to give them the best - and most polished - work that you're capable of producing.  If you're working on another story, please seek out the help of a beta (an editor) who can help you with the technical aspects of writing, and one who's willing to be honest with you, so that your writing can become better and better.  I think you owe that to your audience, and you owe it to yourself.In the meantime, for anyone who's not a friend of Hanna's and simply wants to share what she's written, I'd recommend giving this story a pass.  It's not worth a dollar, and it's not worth your time.