Review: A good story idea that doesn't quite get there
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 01 27, 2014
The premise of this story is a good one; an up-and-coming star wins a competition for a contract and a chance to become a celebrity.  Will the new found fame affect his character?  Oh, how quickly we can slip!  This book really had a ton of promise, but here are my issues with it.  First, it needs editing.  Some examples are; many words are missing, there are some jumbled sentences, in one case where was used instead of we're.  I realize this is a free book, and paying for an editor is not in the cards for many indie authors, but having a friend willing to help proofread can eliminate that problem. Beta readers can also proofread, if you ask them to.  Secondly, there are some major timeline issues with the book. When you do books set in the future, be sure to have it mapped out when, where, and how a time reference fits with everything else.  At one point in the book, Timothy said that his grandparents and parents remembered 9/11 and in another part of the book, one of the characters talks about "better music from Miley Cyrus", well maybe if she were in her 70's, or so judging by everything else in the book. My third and final quibble is that a lot of the book is written like a list.  I don't want an entire book of just conversation, but there are ways of writing a sequence of events that don't feel boring.  I will admit that by the end, I was skimming. It felt a bit like this; He went here and played, then went here and drove, and then he went here and did a show, finally ending up back here.  Again, an editor could have helped flesh out those areas and asked the author to think of ways to make them fun and interesting to read.  It kept my interest long enough to finish it, which I can't say about every indie book I pick up, so for that I give it three stars.