Review: 5 star story, 2 star writing
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 01 23, 2014
Based upon stellar reviews, I'm fiercely disappointed in this (approximately 55 pg) short story.I agree, the story line is sweet.  Endearing.  Heartwarming.  Everyone likes to see the nice girl and the nice guy find each other and start their lives together....especially when they're so much better off because of each other.  I could have loved the STORY *if* the presentation were more than mediocre.My objections (justifying a 2-star review):* Head hopping (frequently pulled out of the story, trying to figure out whose point of view we were in)* Amateurish writing (I do realize this is the author's first book; it needed a professional editor!  Professional editing would've caught the dropped words, the misspelled words, repetition, lack of emotional reactions, awkward sentence structure.)* Jan is a shrew, screams, argues...and mostly without justification.  Her motivations to behave in this unlikeable way were completely missing.  With adequate reasoning, Jan could've behaved this way without making her unsympathetic.* Glen is a WEAK "hero."  Granted, he may have not been intended to be an alpha male....but not even "guy next door," loveable Beta Males are this weak.  I found myself disgusted with his lack of spine, lack of determination.  He let Jan believe the worst of him (again, not motivated).  The misunderstanding was a weak gimmick.* The paranormal element showed up about 1/3 of the way in...without warning, without a hint.  And it never fully carried all the way through.  (A professional editor would've caught this)* The romance was glossed over.  I might suspend disbelief to see why Glen fell in love with Jan....but am having a tough time seeing how Jan fell in love with Glen.  Two pages of wrapping it up telling me so is inadequate.I freely admit I'm in the stark minority at the time I post this review.  All reviews to this point have been (one) 4- and (ten) 5-stars.  It's highly probable other readers can see past the objections I have personally and fall in love with the story and characters.  I simply can't; I'm relieved this book (in MY genre of preference--romance) was free at the time I obtained it.  If I'd paid $2.99 (today's price) for it, I'd be aggravated and would most likely seek a refund if I were lucky enough to be within the 7-day window.