Review: Tact is a good four-letter word
Rating: 4 out of 5
Date: 11 2, 2012
Thank God for advertising.It seems that, no matter where you look these days, there are celebrities pushing countless products. Sean "Diddy" Combs and vodka. Jennifer Aniston and bottled water. Sofia Vergara and Pepsi. Ellen DeGeneres and make-up.So why celebrities? Why not the average schlub off the street? I mean,(s)he could do just as effective a job selling the benefits of liver-spot cream and running sneakers to the public, right?Not always.Celebrities are just who they are---well-known people with a particular talent or ability (acting, singing, athletic feat) to generate excitement and just enough envy among us mortal folk to want to emulate them in many or all facets of their life. This is why Madison Avenue types get paid the big bucks to get people such as myself to spend my little bucks on the product being hyped and paraded. In our hero-obsessed culture, we are told, in subtle ways and otherwise, that if we wore these sneakers or guzzled that alcoholic beverage, we, too, can be as sexy, as charming, and as classy as the person in the ad. (Cough.)Self-doubt is a powerful motivator for self-improvement. We all have self-identified weaknesses (or shortcomings that others notice), and it is the wise person who addresses it so that (s)he can become a better person in that particular department. I am no different in this regard because, as a divorced forty-something heterosexual male, I periodically experience nagging self-doubts about my own capabilities in building and maintaining relationships with women.Because of this, advertising certainly works---even where a weakness of mine is concerned: books. I am a sucker for self-improvement titles, covering nearly all fields. Authors who profess expertise in human relationships---Deepak Chopra, John Gray, Leo Buscaglia, Dave Ramsey---usually grab and hold my interest.Stephen Williams is one such person. A prolific writer in the field of male-female relations, Williams has written a short tome entitled "Best Pick Up Lines: Learn To Charm." He invites the reader to come along with him on a journey into the realm of singles hangouts where opportunities for implementing tact, charm, and witty banter abound.Tact is crucial. It is a primary reason why some individuals succeed in winning the object of their affection and others end up staying at home eating chocolate-chip-mint ice cream and watching re-runs of "The Rockford Files." It is one of my favorite four-letter words (!) and is something which I try extremely hard to utilize with a woman to whom I am attracted.But pick-up lines, in and of themselves, are only meant to serve as a springboard for further relationship-building. When meeting a woman for the first time, it is important to be able to ask questions and draw responses out of her that will encourage her to talk about herself. Gleaning these tidbits of information is crucial to build upon the dialogue from there, and can add to your reputation as an excellent conversationalist. This is where tact and intelligence come into play---by demonstrating to the woman that life is not all about just you, you are telling her indirectly that she is the most important person at that particular moment in time to you. Williams alludes to this desirable quality throughout "Pick Up Lines" and seems to exhort the reader to abide by this concept.Tact is important in determining the pick-up line you want to use when initiating conversation. Being aware of all social settings is of paramount importance so as to avoid any and all potentially embarrassing faux pas. As an example, discussing personal bathroom habits might not be such an appropriate topic during the initial encounter, when all parties are (ideally) on their best behavior and want to make an indelible first impression.But whether you choose to focus upon tact, charm, intelligence, wit, or any other ideal attribute during the course of your social intimacy, it is ultimately important and advantageous to simply be yourself.