Review: Dating Advice from a Man's Perspective
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 02 16, 2013
"Stop His Vanishing Act" is a short dating/relationship advice book written for women by a man, and it gives a man's perspective about what men really want (besides the obvious physical draws). I'm married, but I have a lot of single friends, so sometimes I will still pick up a dating/love book as a way to keep current (or just for fun, like "He's Just Not That Into You").Unlike "He's Just Not that Into You," which focuses on why a woman should dump a man or move on from a toxic situation, "Stop His Vanishing Act" focuses on how to get and keep a good man. It covers a range of aspects of dating connections, from the spiritual to the emotional to the social. The book also makes what I think is a crucial distinction between "regular men" and "quality men"--men with good jobs, good souls, and true passions and interests who are ready to commit to the right woman. I do wish the author had gone a bit more into what makes a "quality" man, because I think that's something women struggle with--not how to act in order to find a relationship, but how to better pinpoint a man who is READY for that relationship. For instance, what signs does a man give off when he's interested and ready to commit? What are those markers of maturity, so that you don't waste time with a man who will end up vanishing eventually?One thing I didn't ever think about was what Prefontaine calls a "secondary level of screening," in which a woman has passed a man's physical/superficial checklist and then must pass very specific points to keep his interest (having passions, being intellectual, having vulnerability in some areas, etc.). That's certainly something men wouldn't regularly talk about, and while women do that "secondary" screening as well, it's not usually something we attribute to the other gender.  I think it would be good to be aware of those qualities a man is looking for, while still being yourself, to see if you actually are a good match."Stop His Vanishing Act" also has a good section on kissing tips and sex versus sexy, and remains positive in its messages and advice. In sum, it's a good read from a man's perspective that has some tips that may help single women looking for love. Unlike another reviewer, I'm not so convinced that men will always pick a 21-year-old over a 40-year-old--let's hope men are deeper and more mature than that! They may pick the 21-year-old at certain points in their lives, but eventually they will want a true partner and equal--and "Stop His Vanishing Act" makes exactly that distinction in addressing the "quality man" versus "regular man" divide. It has good advice for women earnestly seeking a good man and then being herself within the relationship in order to keep him.