Review: Needs a good editor
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 01 23, 2014
I gave this book two stars because I couldn't finish it.  The biggest thing I will say is this book is a huge missed oppertunity.  There is brilliance here, but it's mired in misteps that could of easily been fixed by a good editor.  Some of the problems are minor, such as Talliea going through the woods in first person prospective and she is thinking about the woods or 'Alm'?  Something like that.  The book literally says or whatever in her language.  This is an example that holds true throughout the book.  Little things tossed in that do not add to the story or make any sense at all. If you were thinking about how you're walking down the street and you only speak english would you translate street in the monologue in your brain to Klingon?  More over would you do that if you didn't know the language existed?  It makes no sense for her to translate one word to her native language because to her she's already thinking it, already speaking it.  English doesn't exist, so why would she translate something from english to her native language in her mind?  An editor would of picked that up ( a decent one anyway).  Furthermore there is a lot of development that doesn't happen but should.  Arizira's people is a very interesting people, it's what should of been the focus of the early book, but instead they're glossed over entirely.  An all women tribe that worships the moon?  Tell me more!  It totally doesn't, or if it does it fails to do so before that particular hook has gone stale.  I have no problem seeing Talliea's motivation and her tribe is established closely enough with real world patriarchies that it doesn't need much further explanation, but Arizira's life, friends and motivations are left completely barren.  I have no idea why she's taking such risks or why she's seemingly such a loner in her people.  Finally there is this mystery that is being unfolded, but the earlier misteps make the mystery just annoying.  Figures whose genders are not described watch the main characters and comment on them, but I just -don't care- because the book has thus far failed to make me care about the world or the main characters.  A good editor would of been able to help the author work out the portions of the story that needed to be embelished and the portions that needed to be cut or used later.Ultimately I feel this book was a missed oppertunity.  There could of been a great story here, but the errors (some small some major) make getting to a point where I actually care is just too much work for me.  Krystal Orr clearly has a big imagination and I'm sure if she keeps writing her books will get better, but I would skip this one, at least until a revised version comes out.