Review: Even Free, This Novel is Overpriced
Rating: 1 out of 5
Date: 07 7, 2013
Wow. I finished it. And a long and painful experience it was.  Here's the premise, what one author calls "the dish." A Navy Seal is on a two week furlough during which time he connects with his beleaguered childhood love. Can they build a love in the midst of adversity? Ok. I'll bite. I love soldiers and novels about tough guys who regularly engage in physical activity.  I took into this novel the knowledge that it was/is self published. Good for you! Power to the people. I, however have a few suggestions.First, proofread. This author makes mistakes worthy of a middle school writer. There are too many pronoun antecedent errors to count, but much worse is the verb tense debacle that inhabits every sentence.  They do still teach parallel verb structure in school, right? Our author was absent that year. If you get that far, we have syntax and structural problems too, but really if you can't get your verbs and pronouns correct, syntax and parallel structure may be too much to hope for.Let's leave the grammatical mine field for a moment and talk about the story. Two fun-filled, sex-filled  weeks with a gorgeous, muscle-bound soldier and I don't get to watch.  The author says, and they had sex....then in the morning.... Whoa! What happened? This is a romance novel, but here I am like a kid on the other side of Mommy and Daddy's locked door. I can hear strange sounds. Something must be going on. I wonder what they are doing in there?  Oh well, they're not answering, better go watch some tv. I'm not your toddler and I want to know what's going on. Tell me. I want to watch. Not too closely now. I don't need pornography, just some flowery language and colorful euphemisms. For Harlequin's sake, don't spend more time describing the preparation of the hor d'oeuvres than you do of the sexual foreplay. .....or maybe it's just me.I am making certain that I have turned on my Kindle automatic updates because surely this is a mistake. SURELY this author will realize that in a drunken stupor, she submitted her partially finished, unedited first draft. She will finish her effort and resubmit what really could be pretty good....with a little ....har.....work.One more piece of advice. Before you decide to publish your own romance novel, first, read some.