Review: Disappointing
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 05 18, 2014
It's a bad sign when I'm reading a story and, instead of getting drawn into the tale, I'm thinking of how I can rewrite it.I jumped at the chance to read this story because it sounded so very intriguing. A strong female character mentoring a weak male character. A formula that would give one the instant power to enact revenge on those who have wronged you. Our hero torn between two romantic interests, two disparate lives. Beset with guilt over the betrayal of his best friend. It had such promise!Sadly, I was so distracted by the myriad grammatical errors, the prevalence of sentence fragments, and the magical appearance of Deus ex machina at almost every moment of crisis, that I lost the anticipated enjoyment I gleaned from the premise of this story. I really had to power through to reach the end. On the bright side, I did reach the end.I know first-hand how hard it is to write a story and release it into the world. I know the courage it takes to invite comments and criticism, too. You're in love with your tale; it has swirled around in your mind, insisted on being told. So, you write it down, then ask the anonymous public: What do you think of it? When the anonymous public doesn't respond with praise and admiration, it hurts on a very deep and personal level. This is why I am always hopeful and, when my hope is dashed, I hesitate in my duty to write a negative review, as I must in the case of this book.Once again, a great idea is executed in such a slap-dash manner as to destroy any enjoyment one might derive from it. I humbly recommend that the author revisit this work with the aid of a competent developmental editor.