Review: Very short story should have been a novella
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 01 5, 2012
I'm not saying I WANTED it to be longer, I'm saying it SHOULD have been longer.Okay. I really loved the set-up. It left me dying to see what the heck was going to happen to the poor guy. Ugh, what a horrific curse! Well, I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but it's a curse I would love my ex to have. ;)The writing is very good, which as we all know, doesn't happen in most cheap erotica stories. There aren't loads of typos, misspellings, and punctuation issues. All looks good, right? We meet our heroine, get a run-down of her life story. I'm still not sure why we needed to know any of that, especially info about her sick friend that never seems to be important, but whatev. I'm still in it. We meet the hero! Wow. He's hot (surprise)! The tension is fantastic. Insert a tiny bit of plot (but not too much cuz this thing is SHORT). More great sexual tension. More really great writing. Oooh, the anticipation. And then...LITTLE SPOILERS, but I'll try to keep it vague. :)Meh. It didn't do it for me. Sorry, but it fizzled out at the end.  The sex felt rushed. And seriously, all her issues are solved in two paragraphs? The story had way too much promise for the end to be so abrupt and pat.  It was disappointing.  You know what I would love? I would love for this writer, who is obviously talented, to take this story down and build on what she started. Make this story and these characters live up to all the potential she gave them. IT WOULD BE SO HOT to make them suffer for a while longer, take their time, have a few encounters when he's testing his theory or have him spend more time doing what he claims they do at the club. Of course, I never get what I want, so I know it will never happen, but if you don't ask...Yes it was hot, though more on the build-up than the delivery of goods. Worth reading? Yes. Could have been ten times hotter? Definitely. But overall, it was enjoyable.