Review: Good story, poor execution
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 11 20, 2012
While this is a good story line and reasonably fast paced it lacks depth and too obviously follows the mantra of writing to an average age of 12 years old.  The constant explaining of basic military terms, acronyms etc through dialogue devices becomes irritating and tedious.  The plot has some genuine creativity that is at times spoiled by shallow glossing over of areas the writer apparently lacks the depth or skill to develop.  The weaving in of the Sylvani "mystical" elements is an example. For me it is trite and juvenile. As a major focus it detracts from the story potential of the two other alien species, the politics, culture and military/police topography of human space and the science and ethics around the androids and Mymidon.  The story does not need the poorly developed "pixi crud" of semi-mystical mind powers requiring tarot cards, laying on of hands and more intimate bodily functions to effect healing etc. The author lacks the horsepower, at least at this stage of his writing development, to integrate these aspects of his story in a credible way. The real deficiency however is his lack of command of the English language and composition, a prerequisite for truly excellent writing.  And the composition of book is far from truly excellent. I would give it another star if it was just solid but it is far less than that. This repeatedly shows in poor word choices, borderline and faulty grammar and poor sentence construction. Then there is the very obvious lack of competent editing - one of the real issues of low cost on-line publishing and self publishing.  If the author learns to write at a level that matches his story creativity then he would capture my lasting interest.  As it is, this is a book that deserves to be re-written but with greater competence.