Review: Sentence Structure and Editing
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 05 9, 2014
While the author has a good idea for a series of stories, there are just too many problems with his works. His sentences were a overall a slight improvement over the first book and I do mean slight.  Using he for she, and why for way are just two examples. With he for she being the mistake that accrued though out the book. This is why editing is important.  There are many instances where sentence flow with in a paragraph could cause confusion for readers. An example one of the Marines officers was a Major, but  in several paragraphs he would go from Major to Captain back to Major. It seems that the author did not have a character list to allow him to refer to so that these kinds of mistakes could be quickly corrected.The worse part of the book, was using four to seven pages to explain the way that science worked.  Once I saw that he was doing the same thing as in his first book, I just thumbed through the pages till I found the story. This work reminds me of Heinlien's teen works.Also, knowing that the humans are going to destroy the aliens is an interesting twist to the story. I feel most readers know that we are going to win, since earth people are telling the story. I found the way the author did this was quite well done and added to the story.  He explained why they won battles that they should have lost. I did enjoy the way that he made some of the victories were puzzling, as the humans did not understand why the aliens acted the way they did during the battles.It  is a very good and interesting story line.  Just improve the sentence problems and have an editor help you with it and it will become a great story.