Review: Good Bones, Needs Lots of Work
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 11 21, 2013
The bones of a good story are here.  Unfortunately, they are buried under a hot mess.  No proofreading, no editing, no chapters, run-on sentence after incomplete sentence, numerous repeats of something previously said -- it looks like a first draft.  Editing credit was given; if that's actually true, then someone uploaded the first draft and not the edited version.Some errors were just funny.  The Basques of Spain and France (and Idaho) are not spelled Basks.  A sergeant receiving a new rank of corporal is not a promotion, but a demotion.  Such a significant change to rank structure needs a far better explanation than existed.  The main character was inclined to throw money around in such a way that the entire economy would undergo massive inflation.Still, there's a pleasant little story trying to get out.  The author should keep at it, and definitely pay closer attention to which version is which.  Continued errors will lose readers, which is a pity, because a couple more books with these characters and universe would be a nice visit.