Review: Male Order - please can I order one like Sam??
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 02 18, 2012
My travelling companions on the train are used to me burying my nose in a book for my daily journeys to work. It's still unusual though, for me to squeal with laughter and have to wipe my eyes because I'm laughing so hard - and blushing at the same time. But so it was with Male Order.Meg would say her sex life sucks, if she had one. As it happens, her 2 favourite guys are called Ben & Jerry and she sees them most nights, when she curls up on the sofa with a movie. After all, she needs something to distract her from her new flatmate, the ridiculously buff and sexy Sam. Gym instructor Sam. Super-fit Sam. All round Nice Guy Sam. The total opposite of Meg in every way.Her best friend Laura has a brilliant idea for a new business. Lifestyle Advisors, aka pimps. They will advise the attention of a handsome young man to woman lacking that certain zing in their lives. And then of course, supply the man in question.<< Meg stared open-mouthed. Had she lost her mind? "Do I look like I should be giving people lifestyle advice? Unless they want to learn how to dress badly and put on weight, in which case, I'm definitely their girl." >>She could, of course, do with a little zing in her own life - and when Sam learns about her terrible her sex life has been so far, he agrees - and makes her a suggestion.<< "We'll treat the night as two friends doing each other a favour. No commitment, no pain, just mind blowing sex." >>Well... who wouldn't be tempted! And Meg succumbs, but has doubts the morning after.<< He'd seen her in all her wobbly glory, and yet he had valiantly soldiered on. She should put his name up for an award. Presented to Sam Stephens for services rendered in the face of mountainous fat in an ongoing quest for Maggie Riley's missing libido. >>To her surprise - amazement - Sam wanted a second round.<< All her ice cream munching and lack of exercise must be catching up with her - she was having a coronary. At least if she died now she would be happy in the knowledge that sex was better than any flavour made by Ben & Jerry. >>However, things never run to plan for Meg. She knows it's a bad idea to take Sam to the family BBQ, to expose him to her very bizarre family, but somehow that's what happens. First off, her mother. A woman who strikes fear into Sam's heart.<< Her arrival was like a royal tour. Hat placed firmly on her head, crisp white and blue flowery patterned linen dress, matching shoes and handbag. She looked like she'd escaped from the fifties. >>And there's Meg, wearing a dress that Sam picked from her terrible wardrobe.<< Even though the dress ended mid-calf she knew her mother would glare disapprovingly at the two tiny triangles barely covering her boobs. If she leaned forwards too far the girls would escape their inadequate refuge. >>If her mother is bad enough, Sam has never met anyone quite like Great Aunt Maud!<< If she were Sam, she'd have blocked the whole memory from her mind. Her mother had cross examined him and her great aunt Maud had just pinched his butt, declaring him to be just the sort of young man she needed to keep her pacemaker ticking. >>At least her sex life is improving, but her friend's business plan makes her very nervous. Especially when it now involves a dubious male-stripper joint called the Jolly Roger.<< "Some woman drew a face on Chad's dick with a sharpie a few weeks ago and we decided he needed a name of his own. We ran a contest, with the prize being dinner and dancing with the newly named cock and his owner. The winning vote was for Roger. Now he's the bar's unofficial mascot. We're going to put his picture on the wall behind the bar." >>Things go from bad to worse. The first man on their `payroll' is Michael, her sister's Irish ex-boyfriend. And their first client is the sex-mad great aunt Maud.<< She glanced at Meg. "Muriel says she blows Joe when he's out of Viagra. I offered to blow him. I even took my teeth out so I could get better suction."She took a step closer to the bed and Michael squealed in terror. >>Nobody bundles sexy men, hot erotica and laughter together as well as Lillian Grant. I loved every minute of this book and am thrilled that the sequel (Male Review) will be out soon. This is a definite feel-good 5-star read :-)