Review: Lacks a cohesive conclusion and contains countless errors
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 07 18, 2012
Warning: This review might contain what some people consider SPOILERS.Rating: 5/10PROS:- In a lot of romances, the characters have unrealistically adoring views of every little idiosyncracy their partner has. It's nice to read stories like this one that show the guys getting annoyed with each other and not suffering from the "he's perfect"s.- Hecht develops Keegan's eidetic memory well, including tiny details with each description of a new place that only someone very detail-oriented would notice.- The story has a few moments that made me laugh out loud, some of which stem from Rat's attitude and others of which occur when he's observing other characters on video monitors that are connected to security cameras.CONS:- The structure of this story is VERY similar to that of its predecessor in the series (PrimalPassions). One guy's an outsider and the other is a shifter who doesn't know he's a shifter. Immediate attraction on both sides. A forbidden relationship because of the shifter's scary older brother. Almost-immediate teasing and sex shortly thereafter. A Big Misunderstanding. Etc.- The conclusion is disappointing, to say the least. For one thing, as soon as Carson discovers the identity of the villain, he starts planning his revenge on the man; but then when they're face-to-face, the stand-off is described in a single paragraph: "The predator in Rat wanted to toy with [Bad Guy] and make him pay for his sins, instead he had to settle for a quick kill. Within seconds, the felines were done and [Bad Guy] was just a not-so-fond memory." For another, there's no discussion of the relationship problem that causes Carson and Keegan's Big Misunderstanding. There are maybe 5 paragraphs of "I love you and I'm holding my breath to see whether you say it back," and then the characters all behave as though everything's been resolved.- The misuse of commas in this story is excessive, even when compared with the rest of the m/m genre. They're present when they shouldn't be, absent when they SHOULD be present, used improperly to connect complete sentences (thus creating comma splices), etc.Overall comments: I have a huge soft spot for shifter stories, so I didn't hate this one in spite of its shortcomings. However, I think I'm finished with this series, partly because the stories are underdeveloped, and partly because the editing is horrible. This story and the one before it contain mistakes that could have been corrected after a single readthrough from start to finish (example: "There was a large guns strapped to each of his hips").