Review: I Don't Get It.
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 08 26, 2012
I downloaded this story because the concept interested me. Unfortunately, the execution misses on two major points. First, the writing fluctuated between being overwritten, rife with excessive and overlapping details that were irrelevant to advancing the story, or underwritten to the point of confusion. I had to re-read entirely too many sentences just to figure out what the author was saying. It seemed like the author fell in love with some sentences from the first draft and then during the revision, he never stopped to question whether those sentences flowed with the new paragraph. Despite alot of physical description of furniture placement and where people were located within a room, very few scenes standout in my memory. Two, the ending is illogical. It was the most overwritten scene in the book. This is not a spoiler beyond disclosure of the weather from the final scene. It was raining three sentences ago; I don't need to be reminded that it's still raining unless the rain has changed in some critical way. More importantly, the character's actions didn't make sense based on the development of the story. I think the author was trying to describe a culturally conflicted young man, but the conflict he envisioned in his head didn't make it into the final product. Within the realm of possible explanations for his behavior, none of them were supported by the character I've just read about.I think the fundamental basis for the story is interesting, but the work itself needs a major revision.-- Emma D, aka Anna Zimmerman