Review: A Search for Truth
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 12 1, 2013
Our hero, an analytical mind with the idealistic soul of a pure poet, awash in a sea of raging youthful testosterone and narcissistic parental programming is sadistically dumped by the woman he adores. He finds himself spiraling into the depths of dementia, fighting for his sanity. While looking to understand and be understood, he journeys for more than a decade in turmoil, through erotic fantasies and visions of violence, yet ever pursuing his spiritual path.  .The content, autobiographical “fiction,” is based on the author’s experiences. Written with profound understanding of his situation and that of his tormentors, he bathes the reader in seldom seen knowledge, painfully probing his own psyche to reveal the vulnerabilities that possess us all.Laying bare his own issues up until the time he meets Mary, the woman with whom he falls in love and who ultimately betrays him, he writes: “The eyes of a disciplined child once looked down with contempt on all less worthy beings, who act on their lust… In their freedom they offend the mind of a disciplined child... where fantasies of desire and sexuality must come carefully dressed in marital vows. I know this to be true, That disciplined child was me.“The bullied child keeps a pet inside, a monster burning with fury. And if given flight, his villains with lie torn and crumpled. But the bullied child contains his beast… He hates his villains for abusing him but he hates himself for allowing them. Unable in his weakness to fend off aggressors... And he is socially stifled. I know this to be true. That alien child was me.“The child of the narcissist struggles alone and finds no healing counsel. His parents flawed and self-involved have no capacity for parenting. .. only eschew his every imperfect [imperfection] and remain unavailable to the child in strife…The child of the narcissist is an orphan. I know this to be true. I am that orphan child.”On first meeting Mary, he tells himself: “You’ve been such a lonely soul. Like a soldier out on a forgotten frontier, you have not known warmth; your world has been cold and bitter and hostile. Abandoned and left to your own resources, you’ve been completely alone… She could be your retreat. Together you could find the warmth of a mutual and perfect love. And she’s like an angel, so warm, so pure, and so perfect… She likes me!....She could be the home I never had…” But with this relationship, his battles begin in earnest.Kudos to the author for the brave retelling of his saga, his epiphanies, and triumph. Highly recommended.