Review: 2.5 stars - There's a story here but it needs work
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 10 4, 2013
First, the story is in terrible need of some editing. Bad grammar, spelling etc. While I don't get bothered by this, the grammar Nazi's shred authors for bad editing, so I recommend getting it professionally edited.BUT before that's done, I would recommend some development of the story. I imagine there's a story here, I just haven't figured out what the point of it is yet. At the start of the story Brad (Tina's crush)moves away and she has an incident with a boy named Jacob - and I don't know if that had anything to do with the rest of the story or was just thrown in to take up space? She carried no emotional scars from the incident nor is Jacob mentioned again in the book and so the inclusion in the story seems pointless.Then flash forward a few years and she's going to college and surprise! so is Brad. This is where it gets super strange. The conversations between them, the way they speak, it's written like they're in middle school or high school. They seem really juvenile, and are prone to tantrums and yelling at each other which gets really boring and repetitive when they do it constantly. I actually didn't like Tina at all by the end of the book. she annoyed me constantly.Then the story also tends to skip out on all the details and jump forward in time. They hook up and then jump forward a few weeks they're living together and lots of times I got stuck thinking what the hell happened??I still don't know why Tina's mother acts so strangely towards her.I still don't know why Tina even likes Brad or vice versa. There is no relationship development and frankly they're both weird and must just like the idea of liking each other.I still don't know what's wrong with Brad's mother.I still don't know why Brad's father is such a tool and always so angry.I still don't know what Brad's problem is and why he just suddenly acted like Tina was nothing.I still don't know how they afforded to stay in a hotel so long. They're students and he owes his dad lots of money he couldn't pay but he paid for a hotel? huh.I still don't know why they both talk like little kids and Tina overreacts to EVERYTHING.I still don't know why Tina looks at their relationship like a game and lies so much about her feelings.You see where I'm going here. I think the story needs some more details and some more development into an actual story instead of just hinting at constant drama that we don't understand or can't empathize with because its written just as a general surface story with no depth.I'd be happy to re-read the story if some of these questions were answered because a book isn't complete unless you feel some sort of resolution at the end and not just left wondering what on earth you just read.