Review: could be more professionally written.
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 04 28, 2014
This enticing story could well benefit from better English language construction.  Sentences ramble on. It is filled with structures such as  "try to" and "starting to"  and other superfluous words.  What started as a good plot with a closed door mystery lost much of its impact due to poor grammatical skills.  Characters all spoke or thought with similar language patterns and it was difficult to identify one from another particularly as they were assigned similar names.  I recommend editing these pages removing the unnecessary words and conflicting descriptive phrases.  Give it a real professional polish for the five star rating it could have earned.  Also neglected to mention author needs to fact check better.  Scopalamine is not a toxin but a medicine and does not have any of the effects given in the story. Which casts doubt over any other facts used in story.