Review: editor needed - badly
Rating: 4 out of 5
Date: 02 21, 2012
This M/M romance has more or less the same assets and flaws as "St-St-Stuffed", another romance by the same author I have reviewed a couple of days ago.It has the ability to involve its reader, to make him care for characters who are fully rounded and likeable, it can keep him up at night to see how it goes on.The happily ever after, when it finally arrives -this romance is long by the usual M/M standards-, is heartwarming if, unfortunately, a bit rushed: actually the last chapters could have used much more development.I would go so far as to say that this one is even slightly better than "St-St-Stuffed" because it is more balanced: the emotional strains the characters go through are more understated, easier to relate to with just one possible exception.The "dark" secret of Trey's past feels actually exacerbated. I will not spoil it for you, but I feel I can freely write that the author has overdone it: the age and circumstances of Trey at that time make him innocent by default, it would have been more interesting if Trey had actually been at fault for what happened.There are some sex scenes and they are explicit enough. Strangely enough -I usually do not care- I think some more would probably have suited the story.Now, as for the editing: it was a mess. "St-St-Stuffed" already was questionable from that point of view but this is far worse. Typos, missing words, grammar mistakes: there are so many of them as to hinder the reading. Sloppy indeed. I do hope Ms Sunday will revise the text fully and possibly give us some more content, especially in the last chapters.I am curious about some details: was this written before or after "St-St-Stuffed"?I wonder because two side characters of this novel, Karl and Paul, are the leads of the other. I am positive about it because this Paul has a bad stutter just like the lead of the other novel used to have. The only fly in the chronological cream is that both novels are set in the 2010s and while here Karl and Paul are seven year-old kids, there they are adults...I am also curious because both novels are written in the third person from the POV of one of the lovers, here Shane, there Karl. In this novel though, Shane actually breaks the fourth wall CONSTANTLY while Karl did it far less. I usually like it when characters do that but it may put off other readers.