Review: If You Like Your Heroines Dumb & Horny
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 08 24, 2013
The author is very frank about this being her debut work, and... we all have to start somewhere.I received a free copy of this short story in exchange for an honest review.I wanted to like it, but although the cover is fabulous, it is relatively free of typos, and the author does some nice clothing and landscape descriptions, I thought the heroine was a greedy little ditz. That left me totally uninvested as to whether Natalie got her groove on with her husband, her stepson, or anybody else. I just wanted to b-slap her.When after a night filled with back-and-forth forbidden love flirtation, to which her 50-something husband is oblivious (although apparently son Chase has had affairs with most of his wives), Natalie dresses in a negligee and flimsy robe, goes into the guesthouse where her stepson is staying. He's surprised to see her (really?), and then long after he's been working on her nipples "like he was trying to suck a thick shake through a tiny straw," NOW she's suffering pangs of guilt?"No, no, no, Chase," she said. "We shouldn't be doing this."I am guessing the author doesn't want the heroine to look "too slutty," but feeble last-minute protests and minor guilt don't make her look nice; they make her look weak. If Natalie had been angry - her husband had tricked her, or betrayed her in some other way, and her attitude was going for revenge sex with her stepson, I would've liked her much better.Later, after Chase has explained to her that his rich father is a serial marrier (really? why wouldn't he just keep them as mistresses? How could he possibly still be rich?):"Damn," she said, "I know I am his thirteenth bride, but I thought for sure he loved me...."Oh, myyy. So much I could say there, but I won't. Again, I am guessing that the author doesn't want any of her characters to be the bad guy: not the rich "old" unsatisfying husband (50-something, I snicker, many men in their 50's are AMAZING in bed), not Natalie, not the son who's slept with many of his dad's wives, Chase, nor Chad, the other son... In real life, we want to be nice to everybody. For interesting fiction, we need to torment characters, chase them up a tree and throw rocks at them. We need/want conflict, even in a short story.I applaud the use of condoms in the first extramarital encounter, but then non-use in the second encounter, the very next day - WHY? And the sex scenes... to me, they seemed rather cliche, though I admit my dislike of Natalie may have colored my view of them.We all have to start somewhere. My first smexy stories were nowhere NEAR this polished, and I am very grateful to NOT have put them out there for public consumption. I hope this author keeps writing, and joins some feedback groups to learn more about character development and story.