Review: another story spoiled by poor editing
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 02 17, 2014
To begin, I liked the premise of the story: recluse erotica author is made to live out her stories (very very summarized). The characters seemed to be well thought out. As someone from San Diego, I did enjoy the locale, but would have liked a bit more in that regard. And while pony play is not of interest to me (wasn’t expecting it), that part of the story was told well.BUT…for me…there are enough errors in the story that it completely detracts from enjoying the story.Examples“She felt him lift the heavy, course tail out of the way,” (fairly sure you meant “horse tail”) And then a couple paragraphs later, there’s reference to a gag, but he had pulled out of her mouth prior to this scene. (continuity issue)Confusion in dialogue: “…representing their masters and mistresses. Jay?” Should be:“…representing their masters and mistresses.”“Jay?”“finding you in this world is harder than finding than a needle in a haystack.” (did you find it yet?)“I expect you to have your ass here to every training day watching out for her, got it?” (what about this one?)“Then, I will spank you once last time and then make love to you until you scream.” (And this one?)“He had not prepared for a paring like theirs” (This one sounds UNBELIEVABLY painful. Particularly when she meant, “pairing”.)“Something cold pressed again her right upper thigh” (one more time?)It’s amazing to me how authors who supposedly are proud of the stories they weave actually think so little of them that they won’t invest the time and money in a decent editor. When a manuscript is riddled with errors like this, it detracts from the flow of the story as well as destroys the fantasy/imagery, the author is working to create. If you value your work and your readers, why don’t you provide an appropriately prepared manuscript?