Review: Glad it was free...
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 11 20, 2012
Feels like it was written by a 14 year old for an audience of 14 year olds. There were a number of editing issues, i.e. "then" instead of "than", awkward sentence structure, repetitive use of words, continuity problems. By themselves, each of these is easily ignored, but piling one on top of the other and it ends up distracting me from the story.The characters were pretty well-developed, but there was a distance between them in the story and also between them and the reader which rendered me unable to be engaged and invested in their happiness.As for the plot, I found some scenes were completely superfluous, could have been removed entirely without affecting the story. Rather, the removal would have streamlined the transitions and made for a much smoother pace and flow.The short story at the end felt like an alternate beginning of the full-length story, tacked on at the end as a separate work to up the page count. I actually felt it would have been a better basis for the plot.In summary, lots of potential, held back by poor editing. Glad I got it free.