Review: Had Potential
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 04 16, 2014
Evolution by Kelly Carrero, had considerable potential, but I felt it missed that potential in many if not most scenes. I would encourage the writer to pause after writing a scene and then step back and consider how to rewrite the scene so that it is more dramatic and has a greater impact upon the story.Take the first chapter, for example, which opens with Jade, the main character, standing in  front of a mirror in a hospital and freaking out because the injuries she just suffered from a car accident were healing in front of her eyes, as well reflecting on the fact that the accident should have killed her yet she walked away with only minor injuries. Imagine if the author had begun the scene, and therefore the book, with the car accident, filling it with tension and the threat of Jade dying, and then startling the reader (and Jade) when her body was revealed to be miraculously resistant to injuries. The horrific visions she had during the crash should have been included in the scene too, causing the readers to ponder what was going on immediately.The final conflict between the antagonist and Jade's boyfriend was another scene lacking in tension, a scene that could have had us sitting on the edge of our seats but was over way too quickly.Jade's boyfriend was another issue - he was too perfect and too powerful. *Spoiler* It is said that power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely, then what of Aiden? With his ability to change anyone's emotions and desires, to get them to do anything he wanted them to, and yet not be corrupted by that ability? Even a little? If Aiden had struggled with using his power for selfish ends, adding a darker dimension to character, it could have created conflict between him and Jade, creating a depth to their relationship that I felt was lacking.