Review: A great start but falls away. Huge potential.
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 10 13, 2010
It's something of a rarity to find a fantasy book set within the context of a religious war these days - particularly a war in which a whole pantheon of gods partakes, albeit mostly through the intercessory prayers of their devotees.The Black God's War has more than a feel of The Iliad about it: an interminable battle, a large dramatis personae (there are even ten gods here), philosophical depth and capricious deities who don't always have their subjects' best interests at heart.There's also  a majestic backcloth layered with theology and psychological motivation. Whilst we are only given a narrow view of the world reduced to the factions in the conflict, there is a sense of something truly epic unfurling. The author knows his characters, his gods and his intentions.The prologue fulfils its task masterfully: there's a wealth of information conveyed through tight POV and we are given an immediate emotional way in to the character of Lucia, a young girl present at the birth of her brother, Caio.Caio is the long-awaited Haissem (Messiah) of his people, the expected turning point in the war. A powerful dynamic between Lucia and her father is established in this scene and we get a feel for the almost symbiotic link between these people and their  gods.The gods drift about the characters invisible to most. Very little is revealed of their nature but I assumed they were something akin to the Homeric/Hesiodic super-beings who toy with the affairs of mortals. They struck me as utterly whimsical and unworthy of worship, but I guess that remains to be seen as the full novel develops.I was a little disappointed that, after peeking my interest, the author then propels us 19 years into the future and the labour of induction into the characters' world view commences again. Indeed, at this stage of the novella, there was a deluge of exposition that was overwhelming. The effect was to disengage rather than enlighten. The characters became somewhat flat and contrived, their dialogue often thinly veiled exposition (Caio and Ilario talking about the old days). Point of view italicised thoughts appeared redundant a lot of the time, repeating what we already knew from context and speech. I would have said action, but there was so little in the early chapters. Even the battle was commented upon and observed by the characters as if they were viewing it on TV.Many of the principles are spiritual types whose interiority may have been part of the problem. They withdraw into the inner-depths with the effect that we are given a somewhat detached view of what is happening outside their personal bubbles. Many of the events that are unfolding are told from the outside. It was a little like watching Aeschylus and, to a lesser extent, Sophocles. Atrocities are reported off-stage and details are conveyed through messengers and letters. Sometimes this is extremely effective, but in this novella I felt it went on too long.Another issue I had was that the great depth of spirituality the author had painstakingly developed was too much in the foreground. I was reminded of an interview with Ridley Scott regarding the incredible detail of the set for Alien. Scott said he needed the world to be as gritty and realistic as possible but - and this is the point with The Black God's War - it needed to be kept in the background without drawing undue attention. It's characters that draw us in: their relationships and behaviour, not all the intricate details of the cosmos they inhabit.I hate the cliché "show don't tell" but in this case it holds. Way too much telling and hardly any real action or engagement with the characters. Yes, there is a lot of psychological depth, but we are told far too much about that through contrived POV thoughts and dialogue, or the commentary of other characters. Rarely do we see anything conveyed through action.The finest scene, besides the prologue, for me was an intimate moment between Lucia and Ilario, when they start to broach the subject of their hitherto unspoken love. The use of body language, tension and (yes!) internal thoughts worked beautifully.It also left me wondering what went wrong (for this reader) with the rest of the book. Towards the end there were some action scenes involving the main characters. They were well conceived but didn't pull me in. I suspect this was because the descriptions were, at the same time, too detailed and too vague. Lots of clauses, slowing the action, and yet I still couldn't picture what was going on. There were some very bizarre (jarring) similes and some over-flowery language that didn't help this. Much of the action lacked immediacy as a result.There were a few key moments that stood out - particularly Caio's use of his one-time power to resurrect a boy. However, even here I was left wondering if the author hadn't dramatically shot his load. Such a power, if it can only be used once in a story, has huge dramatic potential. I would have liked Caio to be faced with a greater dilemma (deciding amongst loved ones who is to live and who's to die). Lucia seems to feel the same way, but for another reason. It remains to be seen in the full novel how this plays out.On another note, I couldn't see the point of reversing the spellings of Karma and Messiah: maybe that will come clear too. Haissem was certainly a pleasing title, but Amrak...I also missed the relevance of the Homeric chapter titles - besides the obvious nod to The Iliad. They looked great but added nothing. If anything they jarred with the content of some of the chapters.There is some good writing here and a concept of enormous scope. Where the novella fails, for me, is in the balance of exposition and action. There are also moments when it becomes preachy and when the reader's thinking is done for him. I didn't feel free to engage creatively with the writing, I felt I was repeatedly being told "this is what you must understand".It's okay to have messages in fantasy stories but they need to be implied by the action. Who was it that said they should be sent by UPS? (or was it Royal Mail?)Story first, story, last, story always.There is a good story here but it's smothered by info dumps and exposition, and the author seems to lack trust in his ability to "show" and his readers' ability to "get it".Siregar certainly possesses good language skills. If anything he needs to rein them in a bit. Often he chooses an unusual word where a simple one would have been more powerful. Some of the language bordered on pretentious at times and it further removed me from the immediacy of the action.There were a couple of uses of imagery that were spot on. The one that springs to mind is:...the sky literally fell down like a sagging belly...I was a little confused by the blending of Greek and Latin. There's a very Hellenistic feel to the world and one of the generals is referred to as Strategos ('''''''''); however, Caio becomes Dux Spiritus (Latin for leader of the spirit, approximately). Again, it remains to be seen if this is intentional and will be made clear later on. If not perhaps a Greek title for Caio could be found or Strategos could become Strategus.There is a fair bit of word repetition but it is mostly minor. Generally the copy-editing is good. There were only two (that I noticed) glaring errors, and that's good for a book this length.There is so much that is good in this story - concept, history, psychological motivation and the author's expansive language skills. I felt that it was lacking in dramatic structure and in involving the reader emotionally through tight POV and revealing characters through their actions.It's a difficult balance to strike: Siregar does his best to explain the world and the situation of the war with the intention of giving the reader a firm ground to stand upon. He achieves this in the prologue but then fusses about the details too much at the expense of the story.There is a lot to like, however but I think we've yet to see the best of this emerging talent. I got the impression that this work had been critiqued to death and worked over and over with half a mind on what a critique group would think. I may be miles off the mark, but if this was the case I think the remedy is to write fearlessly, with trust in the author's abilities. Tell the story and let the characters speak for themselves. Everything else will follow.