Review: The Potential Is There...
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 06 28, 2014
Purchased this story due to a recommendation in an online book club group. The price point was great so I snatched it up! This was also my first time reading Ms. Blue's work.This story had the potential to be fantastic had Ms. Blue invested in the services of a very good editor. The premise was great but the execution left a lot to be desired.In my opinion, some of the scenes needed to be fleshed out a bit more. I also felt a little more detail about the past relationship between Vincent and Dawn would have been helpful. Ms. Blue alluded to sparks flying between the two during Dawn's time in witness protection, but it seemed to be glossed over. I think this is why I had a major disconnect with the characters. Things happened at an accelerated pace, which influenced the believability of the plot.***Spoiler Alert*** Vincent was out of the picture for a good portion of the story, sneaks into Dawn's apartment (which was creepy as hell), they have sex and she ends up pregnant? Too much, too soon, not realistic in how things seemingly progressed. Not all romance stories have to have knock down drag out sex scenes but for this story it would've only added to the realism.Ms. Blue, this was not a bad effort but I would suggest  a rewrite to give the story more meat. An editor can assist you with content flow and grammar issues. I believe with some tweaking, this can be a five star short story. My rating currently falls between 2.5 and 3 stars, so I'll go with 3.  Best of luck to you in your future writing endeavors. Thank you for sharing your gift with the world.