Review: Makin' The Love Monday - Dark Craving by Madeline Pryce
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 03 4, 2014
Makin' The Love Monday - Dark Craving by Madeline PryceYummy. I like my men like I like my coffee. EVIL. Mmmm. Mmmm. Mmmm, Micah. I want him with a little Splenda and some ice because I don't like hot drinks hot and then I would get the Grande size, 'cause--well we all know men like him don't come in a tiny cup!Madeline Pryce sent me this review copy when she agreed to be part of my Making Love 101 interviews and when I read the book I pretty much wanted to find the graveyard Micah and Ella patrol incase I could hook up on some tricycle action if Guinevere should ever peek out of Hell and want to give us all a little spritz of Lust by Chanel again. Don't be giving this page that look. Once you read the book you will be trying to figure out how to be the third wheel too, so don't be judging me until you know the path my eyes have travelled.Since Micah and Ella made it sound so molten sexy I'm going to start this review off with this confession: If only my own marriage had begun in some strange hotel room with either a dentally challenged man or for him to have a little devil in him and know how to use it; a party so good it was a blur, the only evidence written on the sheets in bodily fluids and blood-- both apparently put there by quite the aggressive and judicious celebration of lewd and licentious vim and vigor. Only to find in the aftermath that both of us have cool matching tattoos that aren't inked peepees on our faces or Grade A Beef on our duppas.Sure for a few moments it would seem alarming to think I had slept with, and had feelies for my frenemy, but I'd let my hoo-hoo and his boy parts have a meeting of the minds kinda pow-wow for "one, two, tree lightning bolt"--as my grandad used to say, and see what way the wind blows before my mouth effed kitten crap up. Then I would let things go from there. Talking never has ever helped any moment of shock or surprise. It almost always makes someone sound like a douchebag. This is how my experience would differ slightly from Micah and Ella's because trust me when they start talking they sound like Sophia from the Golden Girls without the mirth.The rest of this book is pancakes. I thought it was pretty damn good. I love Micah's Alpha Demonicus in 50 different ways and I could dress, marinade, icing, topping, drizzle, spread and squirt something on most of them. Eeek! Did I just say "spread and squirt?" I'm using my cancel ticket on that one. The further the storyline gets into the meat of the plot you get a better feel for the world it takes place in and the supporting characters fill out and become three dimensional. I loved Castro and the unspoken connection he has with Micah. Then there was Micah and Eli and their bond as well. The interrelationships were well written. And Ella, Roy and Hannah who made me long for my own Scooby family where my sister slept beside me even when I was a bloodsucking fiend.Now my time to growl: Lizbeth and Julian. Apparently, Lizbeth has been nursing hate for half decade--since Julian made Ella, something no vampire is supposed to do, Julian needs to be spanked because he was a very bad boy. Only Lizbeth is meant to be the fantabulous sole witchy female in the vampire world because she wants to be Queen of the Bloody Ball--or something, something like that.Roughly in summation her temper tantrum causes the kitten poop to miss the pan and that means Hannah pays for Julian's fascination with Ella, and his sorta siring her in that old fashion way where men compromised virgins and left them ruined in society. Julian is just bad blood and Lizbeth's that girl that isn't happy knowing her rival has been shamed--she wants her destroyed. It's not just the threat to Lizbeth's position it's lurid hatred. The fact that Julian found Ella special bites Lizbeth's pale and pampered elderly buttocks and twists her vintage Queen Victoria's Secret frilly panties. She and the Sire Ex-boner-iare deserve one another because they are both incredibly concerned with how elevated and desired their patooties will be above and beyond all others. People flapping their patooties in the wind are looking to get them bitten or kicked. Sometimes... they are just looking for the Jolly Green Giant stick his (insert your own interesting body part--wait not YOUR body part!) so far up... maybe that was an erotic fairy tale I read somewhere in an anthology! Sorry mixing books and reality again. Of course I know the Jolly Green Giant isn't really a person! Haha, haha... Wait, the Jolly Green Giant isn't real? (This review was written for my blog All The Things Inbetween at AliCrean.com)