Review: Might be a good story if...
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 11 19, 2012
As it turns out, I did not get the revised edition, so I am amending my review for the revised edition...Might be a good story in there, and it certainly has that potential, but not if the reader has a decent command of the English language. This was supposed to have been edited and revised, and I made sure the version I got, the second time, was the revised edition dated October 29, 2012. I pumped it up one star and I now give this story two stars.I can overlook common idioms, I can over look a mixed tense here and there, and I rarely even spot a spelling error since I can't spell reliably either. But I cannot overlook vocabulary used incorrectly, syntax errors and word choices that make the author sound like an illiterate trying to sound literate. I have included some examples so you can make up your own mind. This author NEEDS an editor STILL!Trenton saw the "fretting" in her expression....Trenton had decided "she'd tore" into him enough....Trenton was getting a "suspecting" feeling she was living in close proximity.......her foot went flying out with "exalted defiance" ....Exalted Defiance? Exalted ... Meaning noble, esteemed, of elevated status? This is a prime example of poor command of language. She is described as being a timid mouse, a tiny little thing afraid of her own shadow. This description does not sound noble or esteemed. The action of kicking a man in the shins, perpetrated by anyone, is not something that can described as esteemed, or noble or a mark of societal elevation. Bratty behavior cannot under any circumstance be confused with noble, exalted behavior. I like the term "exalted defiance" but this term must be applied to behavior that is characteristic of noble defiance and kicking someone in the shin because they insulted you is NOT defiance nor is it noble behavior.And all the above examples were taken from maybe 3 consecutive pages of the book! Once again I didn't bother with reading the rest.