Review: Not the worst book I've ever read, but close
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 12 4, 2013
I gave this novel two stars because it had a great beginning. Unfortunately, the work went downhill from there.The story was rife with adverbs. I’m surprised the author didn’t learn this in one of the many workshops she attended. That’s one of the first things good creative writing classes teach – LOSE the adverbs. That’s lazy writing.There were many grammar mistakes. For instance at one point, “the police is following” … nope, police ARE following. This one killed me – something had an expiry on it. I THINK she meant expiration – but who knows? She took all those workshops after all….Besides spelling and grammar mistakes, there were content errors. At one point, Sarah and Becca looked almost exactly alike but….Sarah had dark almost black hair, her mom Becca was blonde. Just one example. Good writers know enough to vary character names: Dain and Deke – really?However one of the worst gaffs in this story was the endless pages of back story! Novels are about conflict and moving forward. When the author throws in back story, it stops the forward motions.  For instance there was NO reason why we had to know how Paolo (an Italian name by the way – NOT Mexican) came to be devoted to the head of the cartel. Not important, doesn’t matter – slowed the book down.Lots and lots of Deus ex machina – another basic amateur’s mistake.Someone needs to tell the author that attending endless writing classes and workshops does not a good writer make. Writing, writing, writing and EDITING does. Perhaps if she took the time to write, and EDIT, a good book, she could attract a real publisher.