Review: Nearly DNF but battled to finish it anyway.
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 03 14, 2014
This was a hard book to review as the story covers such a sensitive and heartbreaking subject. I struggled to finish it and nearly stopped reading by 70% but didn't want to write a review without giving the author and subject the respect they deserve however, no matter how well written or researched I thought this book was, I just couldn't get myself to be onboard with the protagonist Dianna.I understand that she went through an unthinkable ordeal and at the beginning, I even admired her and liked/understood her thought processes along with the way she tried to cope after that horrible incident. I actually never disliked her per say, but I did tire of the constant wallowing and endless (and at times self-harming) mind games she played with the H Gideon (whether unknowingly or not). I am aware that everyone's coping mechanism works differently. I am also aware that going into this book wasn't going to be a light stroll in the park however, after reading other much darker, disturbing stories about the same topic matter, I have learnt that I prefer my heroines a bit more considerate, with a little more substance. I would rather not have to go through 70% of a book with the heroine consciously or unconsciously mind effing with the hero so selfishly (with her attraction to him and need for him to be around - but demands for him date others - but gets jealous when he dates, but tells him she can't be with any man - but goes to a club after seeing him on a date and gets with a random in a back alley because she's jealous) - and the list goes on. I totally understand the constant pity party and fickle indecisions but it did get pretty repetitive and irritating after 80-90% of the book. The H was so patient and genuine but that just irritated me even more because I struggled to understand how his feelings developed deeper than just guilt or unconditional friendship. Without Gideon's POV or enough protagonist character development (outside of her inner struggles), I found that I started to slowly disengage from both characters and the storyline due to my growing irritation towards Dianna. To me, it just seemed like a never ending repetition of Dianna's pity party and at times; fickle reactions.Not to take away from the author's talent, I absolutely admired the backbone and heart that she had to research and write such a conceptually heavy and well intended story. I just wished there were more relatable qualities, dialogue or even background story of the h & H for me to relate or connect further than I did. I definitely give the author props for her realistic ending in the last 10-15% of the book, where she shows us that although the heroine found her HEA, she will still face inner battles and it's not as cut & dry to move on as we'd all like to believe. The stars for this review is low because personally, I just couldn't bond with the book or characters. This has no reflection on the admiration I have for the author or other people that have endured such painful situations.