Review: Nowhere near five stars
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 10 24, 2013
I really don't like leaving bad reviews, and try to give the benefit of the doubt whenever possible.  But there are times when it is necessary and this is one of those times.The author does have talent, and with more learning and writing, I can see some good books in her future.But.  [Many many spoilers ahead.]I couldn't care less about the H or h.  They're both extremely immature.  Neither knows how to communicate with the other.  Both throw toddler tantrums for ridiculous things.  As horrible as the ex-boyfriend is, the H is just as controlling and (albeit not physical) abusive.  And why does she love him?  I'm not sure the author knows how to portray what true love really is - this is some kind of junior high type of love.What's with this "darkness"?  And the h losing her mother due to an a long bout of cancer isn't any sudden unexpected tragedy.  And what's with the h saving the H's life?  Obviously a few scenes were cut, because the readers have no idea what she's talking about.  And really?  Her throwing a drunk fit when she'd just lost her mother (completely understandable!) caused the rift that took four years to resolve?  She'd just lost her mother and she was drunk and you're going to hold that against her???!?And two college-age kids being named CEO of some big corporation?  And after she promises not to leave the H again no matter what, once she finds out that her job is at the H's company, she runs away?  And he almost breaks up with her because of it, after promising her that he'd never ever leave her?And then the abusive ex-boyfriend...  Jerks like that don't take weeks in between beatings.  They're stalkers, at the level at which she wrote him.  And he has magical powers, since he can go anywhere he wants without ever being seen.  And why did the best friend kick his rear end repeatedly, but he never goes after her??  And why didn't anyone call the cops on him?  And what's with all the comas?  After getting beat up in the bathroom, sure, but after a bullet wound in the shoulder?  Please.  She hardly gets a bruise after the ex beats the crap out of her in the stomach, but then ends up in a coma after the bullet passes through her shoulder?  Which is it, is she tougher than all get-out or crazy fragile?Apparently, the writer has a bachelors of arts but can't use punctuation (missing commas EVERYWHERE) and overuses apostrophes (plural words do NOT need an apostrophe-s!!).  She thanks a bunch of beta readers - did any of them take a red pen to this?Ok, enough.  Seriously, don't waste your time on this one.  Not even for free.  I'd like to see where the story goes in the sequel, but not enough to wade through another one like this.To the author, if you want to write immature romance, set the characters in high school and then it could totally work.  Get a few beta readers who will tell you the truth instead of gush over their best friend's writing, and really, keep with it.  You have a bit of learning to do, but I do think you can get there.  Your flow and pacing is good.  You write dialog well.  I like the secondary characters - they play just the right amount of important-but-not-overpowering that good friends should have.  And more.  Keep writing!