Review: Offensive Piece of Fiction
Rating: 1 out of 5
Date: 10 7, 2012
I thought I was reading paranormal romance with a black main character. Not a novel about racial prejudices based on gross stereotypes. This novel gave me more frustration than joy.Where to start with this story? Oh, I know...1. The bashing/stereotyping of black men & women.-EX: "Most black men come with so much baggage the least they can do is ask a woman out before adding their drama to her life." (loc 865) and it doesn't stop there. Baby daddies this, baby mommas that."Twenty first century black women did not swoon. Heck! Black women had never been allowed to be silly and inconsequential females who were allowed to be so silly and so feminine." (loc 1170)When I realized the main character was a black woman I got a bit excited. You don't typically see black characters in a paranormal romance. Well, if this author is anything to go by I now see why. Disregarding the author's race it became annoying to read about archetypical characters. The woman sound ignorant and lack backbone but apparently too masculine to be swept off their feet. The men are uncaring, poor fathers, and racial abusive bigots.2. The horrific editing and grammar.-EX: "The shrunk under Octavia's gown..." "Say will join me." That's the only example I can produced because I didn't start actually highlighting mistakes in the text until they had driven me up a wall and I decided to write a review. The random and unnecessary exclamation marks also drove me up the wall! While reading I would think, "What the h3ll is she getting excited for?"3. The sporadic thought segues of Octavia.-EX: "She was touched that a total stranger could care so much. She felt that pang of regret that she couldn't go." (loc 324) let me explain this a little. She was sick and Kade stayed behind to care for her. Feeding her soup keeping her company. That last sentence was just tht random. It had nothing to do with the context. Octavia was just as random as the author's "about me" excerpt below.This became really annoying almost immediately. We spend so much time listening to Octavia rant within herself only for her to say it aloud with someone else. Like a skipping record she repeated her father and his prejudice against anything other than black flesh.4. The loosely explained world of Elyrians.-EX: "Besides, their body shields kept them from having skin to skin contact." (loc 476) This is randomly thrown in and not explained any further. Also there was a discrepancy in the word "date" in English and the Elyrians native tongue. There was dialogue regarding this word, chuckles shared, advice given...but the word meaning to Elyrians was never explained.5. The author's inability to vividly and effectively construct descriptions.-EX: "She held out her hand and waved a box..."(loc 495)  "Dr. Runatta rummaged through her bag and withdrew another box..."(loc 521) "...as soon as the box touched Octavia's skin. The box began to..." (loc 535)6. The 1.5- 2 pages of inner dialogue or filler between replies in the middle of a conversation.-This was one of those opportunities for the author to ramble on about her bed size in college and why she changed it when she got her first apartment. Or how her MP3 player and laptop occupy the current space. Or how she doesn't want Kade to get the wrong idea but feels disappointed when he doesn't mention marrying her.7. Blatant and grotesque contradictions:-One second Octavia is saying she enjoys that Kade calls her "my lady" the next she is saying she doesn't and he isn't "her man." She wants to see him, then she doesn't. She wants him to stay, but no leave. She wants him to ask her to marry him, but no don't.Just too much. Way too much.As a black woman I found this novel not only offensive but a text that shows only the ugly side of race. I am disturbed that this author could produce something so horrendous in both its writing style and message. I can understand the prejudice issue but to mix in baby daddy this and that, black men and their drama, black women and their lack of femininity... I call this book a DISASTER!Instead of breaking stereotypes she contributed to them.Reason behind 2 stars:She finished the book. <<---Yep, that is it plain and simple. Because the author showed the dedication to finishing a story and because she originally started off with an interesting premise, I will give her 2 stars.The amateur writing, poor grammar, dry characters, and gross stereotypes does not warrant a higher rating.EDIT: I have downgraded my review due reading more well written books and giving them one stars.I had serious character hate for two grown women who were afraid to live their own life because daddy would disapprove of their choice in a significant other. In a nutshell, this book was ridiculous in so many different ways. I wouldn't pay 29 for this let alone $2.99.Would not recommend and will not read anything else from Ms. Sunshine.