Review: A BBW that is not, but still a good read
Rating: 4 out of 5
Date: 07 13, 2014
This is a BBW shifter story that isn't.  It's not really a BBW story because aside from one small incident where he has to lift her, there is no plot reason, or psychological reason for her to be BBW.  She could be skinny as a stick and it wouldn't change the story.And I liked that he was ambushed by the other shifter and nearly killed because he is ARROGANT and it's something that might actually happen to a jackass who is so self-absorbed and cruel that he taunts his defeated opponents the way this jerk does.  He's not all-powerful and he does get his ass kicked, at least in memory.  And it's DESERVED because he's pretty much a big tool.Also the writer likes her similies.  Too much.  They feel forced into the story and way too long.  Awkward mostly.  I want to tell her to just tell the story.  It's a good story.  Stop being a writer and showing off you're a writer while you tell it.For instance: "She rocked her hips to the rhythm of his licking, pursued her orgasm, that river of bliss down which she would raft."OK, if that awkward sentense had ended after BLISS, it would have read less like a school exercise.  This happens a lot in the story.  And the phrase "down which she would raft" is not the way ANYone actually thinks or speaks.  It's how writers write when they want to sound like writers.  There's another one where she forces a comparison to a race car driver... he IS a race car driver, no need to shove it artificially into the story when he's not racing.Also, there's a GIGANTIC problem with end of the story.  The hero needs, craves, must have speed.  He must race.  He must push things to extremes and win. So what's he going to do now that he's retired...?  Race the minivan to Starbucks every morning?  It feels unfinished.I did expect there to be more to the diary than there was.  I expected the diary to be stolen or accidnetally sent to the editor or... something to make it necessary.  There was a big missed opportunity because the editor tells her to act for him, to play him, and if he'd read that in her diary, it could have made a big plot point in getting to their HEA.  Felt like it was foreshadowed and then dropped...One other thing, maybe it's a cultural thing, but in America, if you're sprinting, it's full-out.  You can't half-sprint, it wouldn't be a sprint if you were doing anything less than as fast as you can.  That's what makes it a spring.  So I don't know what the title MEANS.And it is not a HEA, there is a huge cliff hanger lead-in to the next story, so maybe some of my problems with it will be resolved.I know it seems like there's nothing to like about this story and that is NOT true.  It was a good read.  But it should have been so much better.  I liked the storyline.  And I did like her description of shifting, which was pretty yuck, but probably more "realistic" than the magic change with clothes some writers fall back on because they don't want to plot around naked bloody humans running around.