Review: A Story to Love
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 05 11, 2014
This is the kind of story I hate.  Why?  Because I can’t stand putting it down, and I have work and personal responsibilities that must be done, so I can’t just read straight through.  I was really beginning to have a resentment against Heidi Cullinan because she made this story so emotional, so heart-wrenching, so sweet, so tough, so sexy, and on, and on, and on.  But the reality?  The reality is, God, I loved this book!  I truly enjoyed the first two books in this series, but this one far surpassed those in emotional impact.  And getting to see Mitch and Sam (Special Delivery), Randy and Ethan (Double Blind) again? Terrific!  Even eccentric Crabtree was welcome, and the fact that he played a pivotal role was both surprising and perfect for his personality.When Chenco meets Steve, both of their worlds are turned upside down.  Chenco, Mitch’s half-brother, had been living with their miserable tyrant of a father, and when Mitch shows up for the funeral, Chenco runs.  It seems that their father has set Mitch up to be the bogeyman, a scary, homophobic monster who, according to old man Tedsoe, was going to pound puny Chenco into the ground if they ever met.  Mitch, Sam, and Randy are staying with their friend, Steve Vance, a leather daddy and sadist, who sees Chenco one day when they are at the same law office and Chenco is feeling upset and depressed due to finding out that the old man willed their trailer to the KKK. When Steve later finds him slumped in an alley behind the law office, he loses his heart.One of the most fascinating aspects of Chenco’s personality is the fact that he’s a drag queen.  One night the guys go out for a drink and coincidentally attend one of his shows, not realizing that it is Chenco, and when he and Mitch finally meet, Randy figures out that they are brothers.  Chenco, in his stage persona of Caramela, lashes out at Randy in pain, anger and fear.  It takes Steve’s dominating personality to calm Chenco, and this leads to the start of their contract and ultimate relationship.Steve is a sadist, and some of the things he likes, including needle play, initially scare Chenco. But Steve is patient and explains everything to Chenco, step by step.  Before he will agree to go any further, he insists on a contract, and that too is negotiated slowly and carefully.  As a reader, I was fascinated by many of the explanations and the later scenes as they unfolded.  This is the first BDSM book I’ve read where sadism was so thoroughly explored, and explained.The story is very complex, with Steve’s ghosts from the past haunting him at every turn, primarily in the form of his childhood friend, Gordy, who is mentally ill.  What happens with that relationship, and Steve’s struggles to overcome guilt and pain from their past, forms the basis for much of the book.  The balance of the story involves Chenco and his coming to accept his dual personality, his own strength, and the acceptability of his drag queen persona, Caramela.The author takes us through numerous emotional ups and downs, and not just for Chenco and Steve, but also for the other couples and for Crabtree, as well.  When Chenco finally leaves the Rio Grande Valley to go to Vegas with his new motley “family”, he looks around and realizes that<I> “He wasn’t just leaving the valley, he was leaving with his brother.  And his brother-in-law.  And a card shark, a casino mogul and a gangster.  And his boyfriend and his madman fresh from the attic.” </I>That description of this group of misfits, who do indeed fit so well together, was perfect!Chenco’s inner strength and insights into Steve are amazing.  He’s the only one who seems to see the man behind the faade of tough guy and leather.  He’s sees<I> “another man in there, a man who bled, who knew sorrow and fear.  A man who, when he saw those emotions in someone else, stopped to try and help them, who couldn’t bear the thought of someone else hurting.  A man who needed love. A man who’d resist anyone finding out that weakness, who gave all his love away so no one would notice how empty he was himself”</I>  This is what Chenco wants— to be the man who can become a safe space for his lover.And on the flip side, we see Steve’s POV of his love for Chenco.  There’s one section where the author has Steve speaking to Chenco, telling him: <I>“Nobody ever looked at you and saw things you needed you didn’t know you longed for.” </I>Steve then quietly cited the rest of his praise in inner dialog, knowing that it would be too much for Chenco to hear at that moment. The author really laid it out for us, and it was beautifully said. It’s poignant and insightful and ends with, <I>“Nobody ever loved you like I do.”</I>  I could go back to that page and read the lengthy passage over and over again.  So well done! Sigh.And one last word on the other couples— In this story, both Ethan and Randy have matured, as individuals and as a couple.  I found Ethan to be extremely strong and confident, though the soft spots he saves for Randy were still gooey fresh.  Randy was more mature, but still Randy, in all his very personable glory.  Mitch was much more stable, a very strong and caring persona for his younger brother. And Sam?  Sam has grown and matured as well, but still has his zest for life, his willingness to help in any situation, his love of music and most of all, his love for Mitch.  It was wonderful to get to see these men as they were settling in to their lives together and it set the stage for my dreams of a solid future for each of them.So yes, I really don’t hate this book at all.  I love it and hope everyone else will too.  Very highly recommend.