Review: Hardy Boys With Sex
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 11 4, 2013
So, the good news is that there are no major grammatical or mechanical errors in this book. The bad news is that there is more cheese in this novel than in Wisconsin."They were hardcore criminals, had the rap sheets to prove it, and no snot-nosed bodyguard was going to get in their way."Detective Jared - "He had deep lines carved into his face, probably from the worry that many hours of studying cases caused, and sharp blue eyes that missed not a thing." EEK!Issues with believability abound. If you were one of the richest men in New York, would you hire a 23 year old bodyguard for your daughter???  We are supposed to believe that Chase, who has been guarding Julia for two years, is THE best man for the job. Yeah, those ex-Seals, Delta Force guys and former FBI agents don`t have what it takes. In fact, Chase is such a good bodyguard that he drinks on the job and is frequently sidetracked by his jealousy. At one point, Chase, while living with Julia and her father, has a temper tantrum and stomps into his room -- unaware when Julia leaves to go to the movie by herself. Don`t even get me started about hostages who giggle because they are optimists!Julia is one of those "too stupid to live" heroines. Young rich women are being kidnapped in New York City. When she figures out that their car is being followed, Julia JUMPS OUT OF THE CAR to get air into her lungs. OMG!! Upon finding a death threat at her door (because of course kidnappers want you to be on the lookout and add extra security), Julia says "They want to eff with me?  I`ll hai-yah kick the $--t out of these a--holes." (At this point, I had to go look for a pin to stick in my eye.)There are a number of unnecessary/odd scenes in the book. While in the Hamptons, Julia`s dad hires a catering firm in addition to their maid. What does not make sense is that he gets Julia to hand all the plates, glassware, and cutlery before the catering firm uses it! Chase thinking about his youth - "When their dad had seen the fish he`d had to laugh telling them they were carp and not good to eat, that carp were bottom feeders that ate the waste of other fish." (Who cares?!)The company Chase works for is owned by his father. While there is an attempt to make this security company a team of Alpha males, they are more like Stooges. In front of a client, one of the bodyguards talks about the different customers they have have sex with. "They were smokin` hot. We were more than eager to oblige. Banged hard, man." GAK!! In the middle of the danger, Chase goes deep sea fishing while Julia goes shopping with a friend.Chase and Julia have the emotional maturity of a three year old in the middle of a temper-tantrum. For two years, the two of them didn`t talk to each other. Too bad it didn`t stay that way. The I hate you/love you revolving door was exhausting and juvenile. I can`t imagine anyone over 17 really believing that these two are in love.Chase seems to have problems thinking like a 25 year old male: "Dude had blond hair that was longish in a beach bum type way and eyes even bluer than Gunner`s. Of course, the tan he sported helped to make them stand out even more." (All that was missing was a description of WHAT shade of blue.) "She was such a d@mn pistol." (Mickey Spillane, anyone?)I noticed that other reviewers mentioned the hot/witty dialogue. I`d say more spam than ham. "I hate that everything with you is so taboo. I hate that this job means more to you than I do." She was literally (as opposed to figuratively?) sobbing now. "But most of all, I hate the fact that I`m falling for you.""Let`s get this over with then, yeah? he hissed his lips at her ear. "You want to be "effed"? (amazon guideline)  You sure you can handle it?" He pressed his erection hard into her back. (Yes, this is the stuff that dreams are made of.)"Chase, make love to me," she whispered. "There won`t be any making love, Julia. Only effing.""What are you saying? Are you calling me a $lut?" "If the shoe fits, baby."Julia: "So, he went through this stupid I like you but I`m not willing to $crew with my job for you phase, which turned into $crew it, I don`t care if I lose my job, which went right into I can`t $crew it or you because it`d distract me from keeping you safe, to I wanna $crew you and forget about everything else, which became I finally $crewed you and now we`re really $crewed, to where we are not which is I wanna $crew your brains out; let`s not $crew this up." (Really people. If you buy this book after reading the last example, then it`s on you.)If, on the other hand, you are looking for some good reads for under $5, then check out Kristen Ashley, Ruthie Knox, and Penny Reid.