Review: Fifty Shades of Grey... I mean Beige!
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 05 15, 2012
Did I hit the wrong button on my computer when I boughtFifty Shades of Beigehere as a low-priced Kindle edition, or was it that the idea of such a parody maybe being better than the original? It's impossible to miss all of the media hype surrounding the highly popular trilogy by E.L. James.  Like many, I've been curious about what all the fuss is all about, especially when I hear of libraries in Florida, Georgia and Wisconsin either not stocking the books or pulling them from shelves, with many citing what they say is inappropriate and explicit content.Regarding the original, a Random House spokesperson was quoted as saying: "Random House fervently opposes literary censorship and supports the First Amendment rights of readers to make their own reading choices."  Can't say that I'm surprised, since as of this writing,Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogyis holding the #1 spot books and Kindle editions here on Amazon, and at almost ten bucks a pop, that's a lot of cash coming in for both the published and for author E.L. James, a TV executive, wife and mother of two, who is based in London.For those who don't know, protagonist Anastasia Steele meets Christian Grey at his corporate headquarters in Seattle, and their relationship could not be more lopsided.  Anastasia is a recent college graduate and a virgin in all explanations of the term.  Mr. Grey is a handsome, brooding billionaire, and he's so accomplished in the arts of domination and bondage that he asks Anastasia to sign a contract of servitude.In any case, if you have a Kindle, you can follow the link and sample the beginning of this E.L. James' e-book for free.  See if it's your cup of tea or whatever; that's what I did.Not dropping any spoilers about the original, the product description says: "When literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating.  The unworldly, innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him.  Unable to resist Ana's quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her, too--but on his own terms. Shocked yet thrilled by Grey's singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success--his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family--Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian Grey's secrets and explores her own dark desires."That's about right from what I saw in the sample of the original, butFifty Shades of Beige: A Parodyby author Reid Mockery (and isn't that a perfect pseudonym) takes a somewhat similar tack. We have a protagonist named Annis Thesia, a lead character that narrates her story from a first person perspective, as can be seen in this from the first chapter:"I walk into an office the size of an average parking lot and of course the walls are painted a light beige. The couches are beige and carpet is plush and beige. Mr. Beige is sitting behind a huge dark wood desk pecking away at his keyboard. He looks up at me and stands up. The only thing that is not perfect about him is his necktie. It doesn't match his jacket. But, Oh. My. God. He is gorgeous."Compare that with the product description ofFifty Shades of Grey, and you'll see why I laughed quite frequently at this parody, a fast read of an estimated 109 pages. The main difference is that Annis Thesia, also a virgin, is the one who assumes the dominant role in this often-comical relationship.  The author's writing style is quite witty, and as a comparative example, Annis Thesia meets Mr. Beige in his office in Pittsburgh, yet their first encounter actually takes place at Bobby Beige's `love cabin' in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania (yes, the home of that illustrious groundhog Punxsutawney Phil).  How they arrive there made me put my coffee down as I was reading, as the dialogue and description were truly comical.Some readers will be able to draw comparisons between this and that now classicCandy, written in 1958 by Terry Southern and Mason Hoffenberg, a satirical novel based on Voltaire's Candide.But be warned: author Reid Mockery's book has some very explicit sex scenes and trashy dialogue, and it's not one for those with tender sensibilities.  It's a mini novel that's a fast read, and if you enjoy a good spoof and don't get turned off by the very explicit terms and acts depicted here, then author Reid Mockery's offering here will probably be a good replacement.  We've all seen the media hype; now read the parody.5/15/2012