Review: Felt Incomplete - More like an excerpt than a short story
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 01 21, 2014
This short story is well written, and there is an interesting idea at the centre.  But it felt more like the setup for a novel than a short story.Characters are introduced briefly, go through a few rather mechanical motions, then are gone.  The central concept - the girl - is introduced and one looks forward to learning more about her - but her nature is never really explored.  There was a rushed feel to the piece overall - once the girl is on board, events and the reactions of the characters are hurried through.  You can almost feel the check boxes being ticked - token "sense of foreboding" by one character before any tension could realistically build, and no build of tension at all for the reader.  Dispose of this character, now get rid of that one,count back to make sure none got missed.  Jump into personal conflict that feels too artificial to be disturbing to the reader or even incite that much interest.  There is no time to feel a build of tension or care about the characters.  I figured I was pretty much reading the prologue, and the rest would happen later, so I kept going.My reaction at the end was "where's the rest?", followed by a flicker of irritation when I realised that was it.It could have been a good novel. Less rushing to get things out of the way, more work building some sense of tension or disquiet, and this story would make an interesting introduction to a  book,  It would have worked.  Oh well.