Review: Good story, needs work
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 10 5, 2013
This story captured me pretty easily and it was a quick read.  I enjoyed it.The writing does need some work though, and there were many times it took me out of the story because of it.  It isn't riddled with typos or anything bad like that, it was just the word flow.  It needs work.I did find myself wanting to know more about the characters in the story, and their struggles made them seem more real.  In a lot of ways they were done pretty well.  There were some issues that made them seem a bit off, but it wasn't too noticeable.  I kept finding myself drawn back into the story fairly quickly after something caused me to be put off.All and all, the story is interesting.  It's a quick read.  There's some good laughs and dramatic moments as well.  Also a good deal of sexiness.I give it 3/5 platypires.