Review: A suspenseful tale but could use some editing
Rating: 4 out of 5
Date: 08 31, 2012
In general this story has an interesting premise and is suspenseful enough to hold the reader's attention.  And I was definitely interested in following it through to the end.  The story would benefit from some editing though.  I recognize that a novella will have limited content vs. a full-length novel but I would have preferred some additional character development.  The characters as written evoke little empathy, despite the horrors they're experiencing. In addition, there's no real justification as to why they were chosen and the choice of the young girl makes no real sense.  Also, the dialogue seems a bit forced and unnatural.  The conversation between father and daughter should flow easily but as written they seem uncomfortable with each other.  Finally, I see some reviewers have suggested the story is set up for a sequel. I can't imagine that will happen as once you understand what's happening there's no more suspense.  I think a sequel would be a large mistake.All this being said, this is a suspenseful tale and to give it only three stars would be a disservice. But I'd strongly suggest some editing to take it to the next level.