Review: Wait... What just happened?
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 10 29, 2013
The first line of the book's description was "Jake has stalked her for a year." That's kind of an instant amazon one-click button for me. I have to admit I haven't laughed this much while reading a book in a while, but I'm sorry to say I wasn't laughing with it... I was laughing at it.Jake has finally found his mate. She has been working for his company for over a year and he has been stalking her. I feel like Jake was kind of a lame stalker. No masturbating outside her window or anything. He just did that weird creepy stare thing. Then one night she has a flat tire, he helps her change it and offers to take her to dinner.After dinner, Lauren chickens out of doing the nasty because she's scared she'll let Jake down. She has never had an orgasm at the hands of a man, but Jake promises her he can deliver and he does. The sex is the only decent part of the book. It's pretty juicy, but not outstanding by any means.When it's your only quality in a book you need to make me at least feel a little of my heartbeat in my clit or it's all just kind of pointless. I felt no heartbeat... I might have clenched a few times but I can't recall *shrugs*Jake talks Lauren into going to his family's home for the weekend. When they get there they crash out in his room. He decided he wants to wake her with some morning nookie so he slides her panties down her legs and slips his c*ck inside her. Then he hears the door open.... it's his flipping mom. His mom proceeds to approach the bed and they have a freaking conversation. HELLO your c*ck is in this chick and you're talking to your mom? It even goes as far as the mom is all "let me see her" and he brushes her hair away from her face so she can get a better look. This is so ridiculous. I can't stop laughing. I'm not sure what's going on here. NO worries though, mom leaves and he gets to finish.This is how most of the book goes. Just this weird random crap and I keep thinking... did she really... no really she just said that. While I did get my laughs, it was pretty disappointing. I thought I was going to be getting some poorly edited, but oddly awesome hardcore smut like Jordan Silver (my secret indigent) but this wasn't it.