Review: Cute story, bad writing technique
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 11 24, 2012
Good news:It had a cute storyline, continued from the first book, once you dig past the horrible grammar and punctuation. The author didn't appear to know anything about the technical side of space travel, so she wisely skipped over it. A scientist created the means, and others used it. Great choice. It didn't leave massive holes in your story or create places for people to pick. You just suspend disbelief once and go on. The biological compatibility issue was dealt with in close to the same way--using an old standby tropism: space seeded by a master, advanced race no longer around.Bad news:Her writing techniques didn't improve much. After reading a few books--including this one--over this holiday week, I had to write a blog about the wrongness of writers who don't know enough about the words they use. You can find it here: [...] .For specific examples from this book, I started highlighting a few at Location 272*: "Her mom had an offer to come consultant on a..." should be ...to come consult on a...; at Loc 629 "...two sets of stairs - one lead up, the other lead down"  should be led which is the past tense instead of lead, which is either present tense or a very heavy metal; Loc 643 "a package of plactic tie straps", which any spellcheck would catch (including the one in my browser--had to undo it to keep the error) the she meant plastic tie straps; Loc 645 had "strenght"; Loc 744 brings us "cummutable diseases or anything" where she meant communicable (I hope); Loc 420 continued an awkward fallacy from book one: "Prime male had a physical and emotional chemical reaction bonding them to a female"; and many, many more. Sadly.I really hope the author reads this review (&/or the blog) and hits the books a bit before she goes back to writing. Or at least before she publishes again. I'd really like to see stories like this get treated like grown-up work, so grown-ups can read it without wincing.* All locations were marked using my Kindle for iPhone app. Locations may differ on other devices.