Review: Interesting idea, but it needs a lot more editing/proofing
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 01 19, 2014
Jack is white,  Diane is African American, he stops to give her some road-side assistance and they ultimately fall in love.  Except for the interracial aspect, this format is pretty predictable.  And that's just fine...we all need a little predictable in our lives.  The insta-love was not quite as "insta" as some I've read, but it was right up there.  The h and H were likable and sweet, and the attraction they feel is understandable.  There are a few little hitches on the way to an HEA, but you know all along that they'll get there.  So, this book is a charming little diversion, and I enjoyed it.So, why only three stars, then?  Grammar, spelling, sentence construction, unclear and awkward phrasing, etc.  For example, there are passages where they are discussing her mother, as in "Your mother really doesn't like me."  Only it was "Your Mother really..."  (This is just a for instance...this exact phrase isn't in the book.)  Later, when Diane was addressing her mother, it was written, "But mother, you don't understand."  (Another for instance.)  Obviously, in the first example mother should not have been capitalized, and it should have in the second example, when the word is being used as if it were a name.  There are several instances of tense changes in sentences, plurals that should have been singular, and vice versa.  There are sentences that leave out short words like 'the' and 'it', and other sentences where there are too many 'thes' and 'its'.  As a fiction writer, you want your readers to immerse themselves in your story, to be fully engaged with what's on the page.  When sloppy mistakes like that keep happening, it yanks the reader out of the story, which is never the author's intention.These are simple, easy fixes.  When you think your book is ready to be published, give it to one more well-read person who has not yet read it, tell them to go over it with a brutal eye...point out every error in grammar, spelling, syntax, plotting, character development that they can possibly find.  Hand them a red pencil, put on your flak jacket, and wait for the outcome.  This is especially important for fledgling writers, because you don't want to alienate potentially loyal readers with constant mistakes.  You're trying to build a fan base, not kick them to the curb.  So, Ms Hampton, don't rely entirely on spell check, reread your pages frequently you go along, find good beta readers and copy editors, and write the kind of prose you would want to read.