Review: Greens, episode 1
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 01 20, 2014
Dylan works as a cashier at one of the lesser branches of a national chain of grocery stores known as Greens.  But if he doesn’t get a raise, he’s not going to be able to afford to work there much longer.  But since he’s only been there a month, there’s little to no chance of that raise coming.Dylan really doesn’t want to go back to being an internet marketer, even though he was really good at it and made better money than Greens will ever pay him.  But it was just too much work, and Dylan likes the perks that come with working at Greens, like coming in late, leaving early, not doing a whole hell of a lot while on the clock.That’s his kind of job.But, still, if he doesn’t get a raise, he’s going to have to quit.  Until a chance encounter with a pot-smoking customer, then another encounter with Greens’ resident janitor, gives him a brilliant idea.  Dylan is going to manufacture his own brand of fake pot.  His angle will be it’s so good you don’t even feel the buzz.With this new weed, called Dylan’s Ninja Gaidan, he plans to make his money and still hold onto the easiest job he’s ever had.This is the premise of the Realm and Sands sitcom GREENS.As it is, it’s not a bit original--coming on the tail end of one of the most popular tv shows ever, “Breaking Bad” (another concept I’m still having a hard time understanding the mass appeal of; it was a good show, but nothing to go gaga over, in my opinion)--but it’s at least somewhat entertaining.The character of Dylan, the hero, the one we’re supposed to root for, has zero redeeming qualities at all--at least Walter White started off with the best of intentions; to provide for his family after his death--and is not only someone I wouldn’t want to hang out with, if I worked with this guy in real life, I would despise him for being a lazy, worthless punk.  I’ve had my share of those kinds of co-workers and I don’t need anymore of them, thanks.At about 40 pages, GREENS, Episode 1 takes too long to get started, spending about 4/5 of its time (the 84% mark on my Kindle) letting us see just what kind of piece of crap character Dylan is before he finally gets his stroke of inspiration and decides to become a dope dealer.  By then we’ve already spent more time in his presence than could possibly be healthy, and his nimrod idea doesn’t endear us to him at all.The prose is well-executed, even if the hero is a loser.  Platt and Truant follow through with the promise of EVERYONE GETS DIVORCED in keeping the comedy mostly situational, with a few wisecracks tossed in.  I could see this on television, albeit on something like FX or AMC, it’s definitely not the most family friendly story out there.As for whether I would want to continue with this series, considering I only recently got into and finished “Breaking Bad”, it’s probably too soon for me.  But if you’re one of the billions out there who thought BB was the best thing to hit TV since ever, then this might be the series for you.  But the eventual success would, of course, all depend on the development of Dylan’s character and where his arc takes him.  If he just stays a lazy loser until the end, no thanks.Final thoughts, I liked the writing, but hated the character and found the situation too familiar to be hold my interest.  That being said, I can also see how more people than not would enjoy the series.