Review: Intense, Shocking, and Brutally Honest: a difficult and challenging novel
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 10 23, 2012
I will say that this book will not be for everyone and am giving fair warning. If you are looking for a feel-good book, then best to pass on this. If you must have happy endings-pass. And if you are easily bothered/upset by raw, unapologetic trauma (including rape scenes and drug use)-again, pass.On the other hand, if you are a reader that is open to feelings of discomfort, disgust, shock and the darker side of human experience, then this book is definately worth the read. I had no idea what to expect when I started reading this book and realized quite quickly that I was in for a night of heavy reading. I was so disturbed at one point that I had to set it aside and busy my mind with other tasks. I understand the angry 1 star reviews. I almost left one myself. I had to think long and hard about how to review this and, after a cooling-off period, I ultimately decided that it's worth the emotional struggle I went through reading this, for several reasons.The author unapologetically takes the reader on a journey through what I would describe as a plausible hell for someone suffering from a complete lack of self-esteem compounded by mental illness (cutting) and some incredibly traumatic experiences that were (initially) out of the main character's control. From there-a rapid spiral downward into the gritty underbelly of society most of us prefer to forget exists. It's ugly yet painfully real. While this is a work of fiction, there are people in the real world that live these horrors every day. A few bad choices can so quickly lead to a steady drop to rock bottom. And that's the journey we take through the eyes of the main character, Evelyn (Eve).Initially, I felt bad for her and was horrified by what happens to her. Pity was quickly replaced by shock and then anger. I wanted to crawl inside the book and yell at her for being so selfish and stupid. I then began to loathe Eve and everyone around her. Usually, creating characters that the readers begin to hate is book suicide. The author took a big risk. Yet despite the fact that I was seething with disgust, I was hooked and had to finish the book. It was like watching something gruesome and not having the good sense to close my eyes. Paradoxically, this book actually opened my eyes, and once I cooled off, I began to really appreciate the lessons embedded in this story, and there are many.When I finished I didn't know what to think so I thought on it for awhile. The first thing I realized is that I needed to get off my high horse. I've made some stupid regrettable mistakes in my life. We all have. And I began to reflect on my own traumatic experiences and the number of times that I stood at a crossroads and could just as easily have made just one really bad decision in a moment of weakness (sometimes just one is all it takes) and ended up on a similar downhill slide like Eve. That's when I really began to appreciate the novel for what it is: a glimpse at what it really means to be pushed to the brink. To stand at the edge and look into the blackest abyss.Lessons gleaned: In a way, this book is like a funhouse mirror. What you see and experience will differ from reader to reader, depending on each person's own life experiences. While disturbing, this novel offers a glimpse into a life none of us wants to live. There are lessons about self-discovery; accepting who we are, outside and in. Appreciating what we have instead of wasting time pining over what we don't have. Understanding that the 'grass isn't always greener' (as cliché as that sounds). Recognizing who our true friends are; finding strength in pain; and realizing that while we can't always control what happens to us, we can 100% control how we allow it to shape us. The list goes on.My biggest complaint is that near the end of the book, when certain events are being explained, the author seemed to rush through, leaving the reader with rather unclear explanations that lack detail creating a bit of confusion. I re-read those pages several times and still don't quite understand what took place, as other reviewers have mentioned as well. The author should have expanded upon this section more and provided more detail. There are a few editing issues scattered throughout the book as well but they are not frequent by any means and do not detract from the story. Due to these issues I would rate the book 3 stars, but I gave an extra star for the author's bravery in writing such a controversial novel regarding very difficult subject matter. If it's an emotionally charged book to read, writing it must have been...I can't imagine. Deserving of an extra star nonetheless.The end of the book does offer a glimmer of hope that all is not lost. The hard part for the reader is making it that far. This was not an easy read (emotionally) by any means, but ultimately it's a journey with the main character that I'm glad I took and I urge others to give this book a chance.*Edited on July 24th, 2013 to add a notation. I originally gave this book 4 stars due to some issues with editing and lack of a clearly defined ending. NEVER in the history of my reviews, have I edited my rating from 4 stars to 5 with a book that still needs a bit of polishing; HOWEVER, I read this book in October of 2012 and it is still with me. Nine months after my completion of this novel, I still find myself thinking about the story and the characters within it. As I reserve 5 starts ONLY for novels that have staying power, and after much internal dialogue about increasing this book's rating; I have finally come to the conclusion that my rating should indeed be increased from 4 stars to 5 stars. For almost a full year this novel has haunted me and crept into my mind during quiet moments. This is the mark of a truly powerful novel; therefore, 5 stars it is.*