Review: Has promise...
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 07 12, 2014
Complimentary copy provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.Karly is getting ready to graduate to college when she has the opportunity to move in with her best friend and mentor Alexis. A Boston native, she has been attending the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill. She’s packing up and moving to Wilmington. She doesn’t have a job lined up yet and her best friend (and ex-boyfriend) Neil is getting ready to leave for an extended trip to Europe. Despite all of the odds against her, she is hopeful for a fresh start in a new city. She doesn’t have a family to speak of, having been a victim of child abuse at the hands of her father. Her parents died before she graduated from high school as a result of a murder/suicide after an attack by her father that left her scarred for life. Karly’s scars go far beneath the surface. When she meets Alexis’s tall, dark, and handsome brother Nicholas, the single father arriving from California with his adorable daughter Emma in tow, can she get over the pain of her past and move on? Will a stranger from her past come in and change everything in the meantime?Nicholas wants nothing more than to give his daughter Emma the perfect life. He married his high school sweetheart Jamie and thought they would be together forever, raising the family of his dreams. But when Jamie leaves just days after Emma’s birth and divorce papers arrive just a couple of days later, he soon finds that the only one that Emma can depend on his him, and he’s made it his life’s goal to provide everything to her. He and Jamie decide to share a living space with a “friends with benefits” arrangement for a couple of years while she pursues her career as a model, simply because it keeps her in Emma’s life. But when Emma spends more and more time away from home, Nicholas decides to pack up Emma and head back to be nearer his family in North Carolina. Will Nicholas get over his heartbreak and finally trust again? Will Jamie really stay away, despite her assurances that she’s not interested in playing house?I wanted to like this book; really, I did. But unfortunately the book reads more like an outline for a good story, rather than being a complete story on its own. The entire narrative of the book is telling me the story rather than showing me the story. There are very few details about things that seem really important towards the plot and character development that I just couldn’t be persuaded to take much interest in any of it. I do think that Ms. Moose has an interesting story to tell, however I really don’t fell she did it effectively.Some examples: *possible spoilers* I don’t normally do spoilers but if I happen to give something away I’d just like to warn you in advance. It’s hard to give examples without giving away too much; I’ll try my best!At one point Karly finds out Neil is in rehab for dependency of painkillers and antidepressants (we won’t even go there). This entire story arc came out of the blue and was really glossed over, even at the conclusion of it. There was a far greater story to be told there, considering how close of a relationship Neil and Karly were supposed to have had. They were best friends, former boyfriend/girlfriend and the whole thing really wasn’t a big deal, when in essence it was a tragedy.Another major hole in the plot is why did her parents get the way they did? The family was well off; life wasn’t always the way it was when the abuse started. What started it? That should have been addressed in this first book. It is a major story arc for explaining Karly’s issues.There are some major holes in the timeline of the story. Within a couple days span Karly graduates from college and then she, Nicholas, and Emma leave for Hawaii. “I’ve been in the worst mood for the past few weeks and all I want to do is drink.” Wait a minute. She said that the best day of her life was just 3 days ago. This isn’t the only time we see a glaring issue with the timeline.At about the halfway point it seems that every scene becomes a lead up to a sex scene. Don’t get me wrong, I love my books steamy, but this was all about sex for the sake of having sex. Makeup sex, club sex, bathroom sex…it became a laundry list of “o.k. where now?”, and to be honest, there could have been a little bit better writing. For example, “Her lips meet mine as she humps the s--t out of my hard c--k.” I know it is probably a personal preference thing (and I like ‘em dirty) but this screamed juvenile to me with the word “humps”.Back to the “telling” vs. “showing”…”After a few hours, we all are done and I can’t help but smile when I look in the mirror. I love my new do.” After having spent hours at the spa getting a makeover, we learn very little of what happened. At one point Nicholas tells her how much he likes it, and other than she now has bangs (which apparently she didn’t used to) that’s all we know. For something that seemed so important to write a scene about, there was just so little detail. There were many scenes like this. Yes, they may seem inconsequential, but when you are trying to set a scene, you need to paint the picture of what is going on.The level of angst in this book is off the charts. I read a lot of NA and yes, there’s a lot of angst, but this was like watching a tennis match of “I love him, I hate him”, “She’s everything to me, I can’t do this”. There was a constant back and forth between the two of them where they were constantly contradicting themselves through words and actions. It got old and it got old quick. They couldn’t be more in love, then next thing we know, he’s calling her a bitch because of her behavior. Another example is Nicholas’s relationship with his daughter…we hear though the entire book of how great of a dad he is to Emma, how he does everything to ensure her life is perfect but we hear very little of how he is actually a part of her life. At one point we even get a “Call me a bad father, I don’t care.” What?This is the first book that I have read by Ms. Moose, and from what I have gathered, this book is a little different from what she usually writes. Perhaps I should try another of her books and see if there is a difference because I’m not sure if I will continue with this series. I’m just not sure if the angst level is worth it. If this book went through a comprehensive content editing it could be a really interesting story, however in it’s current form, it leaves a bit to be desired. I’m comfortable giving this one three stars. Again, she has the start of something, but it seems it needs quite a bit more development.