Review: Could Not Finish
Rating: 1 out of 5
Date: 08 11, 2012
I hate writing negative reviews, especially for self-published authors. I know how tough it is to write something and then put it out there for others to read and nitpick over. The premise of this book sounded excellent - I put it on my wishlist in mid July and waited until August so I could borrow it via the Amazon Prime Lending Library.I am very sad to say that I could not even make it through the beginning of the book. My kindle is showing me at 3% done. The dialogue is very unbelievable. As another reviewer points out, the word "yea" is used frequently and I do not think this is the best word choice. For example, there is one line that begins with "Uh yea, but we've only climbed up here in warm weather." "Yeah" is a better choice than a word that is pronounced "yay," especially when spoken by a teenager.There are some other grammar errors. Minor things, such as missing commas and commas that should be semi-colons. I will be the first to admit that my own grammar is not perfect, but when there are errors every couple of lines, it is enough that I am pulled away from the story. It took me a couple of times reading the line "He said, "I want a beer man. Don't bitch."" to realize that there was a missing comma, and that the character was not actually looking for a "beer man."I have also made no connection to the main character at all. I do not know his name, although it is possible that it was mentioned and I missed it. I do not know his age. The main character and his friend begin the novel drinking beer, which may indicate college age, or that the character is being "cool" and drinking while underage.I hate giving such a poor review, especially as I would have liked to enjoy this story. I went into it with such high hopes. I would love to see the author take the time to carefully edit the novel; perhaps getting some beta readers to proofread and suggest improvements would help, too. I do wish you all of the best, both in any revisions you decide to make to this novel, and any future novels you write. I am glad I got this as a lending library loan; it did not cost me anything, and still gave the author a couple of bucks. :)