Review: Someone to Watch Over Me
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 12 15, 2012
Romance is a wonderful concept that remains maddeningly elusive for most people. We seem to have it embedded into our DNA that life is meaningless without having a significant other.I don't necessarily subscribe to such an outlook; happiness comes from within and is best channeled into tasks that contribute to our own well-being. Whenever I do something that lets my innate talents shine, I allow myself the luxury of being genuine with not only myself, but also with others. It is a self-perpetuating life cycle of contentment and purpose, and it really has nothing to do with uber-pastor Rick Warren either.Yet, loneliness is a strange animal. It is similar to money and fire: it is neither good nor bad; it just is. It is something that, when recognized, affords us an opportunity to take stock of our lives and reflect upon our strengths while assessing our weaknesses. Being able to do this is a skill that must be honed all the time---and failure to do so can lead to emotional and social atrophy.George Gershwin's 1926 composition, later made famous by Ella Fitzgerald, was the inspiration for the title of this review. Many of his compositions (co-written with his brother, Ira) have become modern-day classics that evoke the same strains of love and pining felt by people seeking companionship and intimacy that characterizes our species.Stephen Williams's book, "Romantic Ideas: Where Fantasies Can Become a Reality" offers the reader numerous insights for pursuing and capturing long-neglected passions between a committed couple. His tome encourages both partners to express routine affection that is significant and sincere.Of course, it helps to know what your partner enjoys and what she eschews. Being cognizant of these attributes demonstrates a sensitivity that heretofore may not have been at the top of your to-do list; nevertheless, it can be a catalyst for meaningful change.At the risk of sounding pompous and egotistical, I rather like the idea of having someone in my own life to be watching over me at all times. I want to revel in it being all about me; in turn, I want to bestow the same passions and desires upon my partner and make her feel as if she is the most important person in the world. While I realize that it is physically and chronologically impossible to attempt such an undertaking, it is a wonderful feeling being the object of someone's affection.This rings especially true in intimate relationships with our significant other. There is an unspoken level of trust and communication that runs deeply between our psyches that, within the parameters of a healthy relationship, are long-lasting and strong provided they are applied and nourished on a regular basis.Fantasies are normal. We experience them regularly---sometimes several times a day. They can be sexual and platonic, although, with Williams, it's usually the former. Being able to communicate fantasies effectively and clearly to your partner may do much to clear up any and all misunderstandings that can arise. Williams writes about his subject fairly well; however, his tenuous grasp of the English language, as a whole, distracts from the overall tone that he is imparting to his audience.It is ridiculously easy to navigate the "honeymoon" phase of a relationship: faults are overlooked; both parties are tolerant of each other's idiosyncracies that later become irritants; nary a negative comment is heard. But when the novelty wears off, the real test begins---developing the talent to skillfully balance both partners' needs while keeping our egos to a minimum. A social system of checks and balances arises and is delicate enough to break down if it is neglected.I would place a premium value upon emotional and physical compatibility in this field. Our senses allow us to accentuate intimacy between ourselves and our partner, which adds to the sexual tension and excitement. (It also helps to have a generous, well-developed sense of humor and playfulness, too.)So what does all of this have to do with romance? Does emphasizing romantic ideals entail champagne, fine dining, and seeing a production of "Les Miserables"? Does it make room for bearskin rugs and crackling hearths in a snowbound cabin? Is there a place for romantic beachwalks and rising suns at first light?Of course---if you have the time and the inclination to put these into action. Hollywood and Hallmark do a superb job of promoting these shameless expectations.Sorry, but I don't have a 90210 zip code.I can't afford these blatant luxuries (well, except for the rising suns and the occasional stroll on the strand). So I revert to utilizing that sense of happiness I've cultivated over the years, and I develop as many creative outlets as possible for being the romantic guy that I imagine myself to be.Persistence and hard work, in this case, will pay off. And one of its by-products is patience---something seemingly in short supply these days. It is far more gratifying to know that I have wooed the woman in my life with honesty, diligence, humor, consistency, kindness, and empathy than with my bank account. "Ideas" promotes these concepts fairly well."Ideas" is a decent if unoriginal read that offers its readers basic suggestions to build upon for present and future relationships.