Review: Could Have Been A Fun Read (An Editor's Review)
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 09 21, 2013
The plot looked fun, so I gave it a try. Unfortunately the author has some big hurdles to overcome before publishing a successful novel. He consistently confuses your/you're and there/their/they're, and frequently switches plurals and possessives. Not understanding that possessives have apostrophes and plurals don't is pretty English 101. The pacing is fine for the most part, but there are a lot of slow sections. I also don't think the author really considered his audience well. If he had, he'd have realized that creature feature pulp readers don't want whole chapters of romance, angst, and passive-aggressive feelings. Also, the whole "tough guy taking the female intellectual down a peg" has been overdone, and it never fails to say something about the author when he spends copious time pointing out all the flaws of the intellectual characters in a book that's mainly just supposed to be a fun creature feature. Don't bring your personal issues into a novel if they don't fit. Exposition has a few holes, some more noticeable than others. Characterization is fairly flat, especially with the two main characters who are pretty cliched, though there are a couple characters that are fleshed out nicely. The potential is there, but the writer just isn't following through 100%. Storyline is mainly okay, but there are at least two decently sized weak spots that are a problem.Overall, the writing isn't terrible, not even close to terrible, but the writer needs an English class or two and the services of a good editor (and a few good proofreaders for the typos). It would serve him well to consider his audience more, but that's his decision. I'm a bit surprised that this manuscript got published as-is, since it seems the author is making a solid effort. Why not hire an editor or proofreader? I know self-pub is popular, but surely you can find friends who will read it for you who can explain possessive nouns. Most publishers would at least demand that he fix all the your/you're mistakes, so it must be self-pubbed.It is certainly better than most self-published stuff out there, and with some tweaking it could be a pretty fun story, but as-is the problems were a bit too distracting for me to really enjoy it.