Review: Unsure How I Feel About this Book
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 12 3, 2013
Rating: 3.5 starsI don’t know where to start with this book or how to rate it. On one hand I contemplated not finishing this book. On the other, I found myself strangely engrossed in the story and wanting to find out what would happen in the end. After finishing, I still don’t know 100% how I feel about this book. There were things that I really did like about it and things that I wish were different. Let’s start with what this book is about.Carmondy just moved across the country for her last semester of high school. On her first day, she meets guys and girls on the varsity basketball team, which she herself is trying out for. Beck Nicholson catches her eye. Yes, he’s tall, gorgeous and built like an athlete, but he also shows zero emotion and doesn’t seem to be interested in anything or anyone. Except when he’s on the basketball court. When she sees him play, she becomes fascinated with him. Thus begins a lust-hate relationship between these two. Notice how I didn’t say love-hate.These two are drawn together despite the fact that Beck treats Carmondy horribly. Even after they start spending time together, he still is a complete jerk. It took a very long time for me to like Beck. In fact I kind of hated him for the first half of this book. He was void of emotion and was a complete and utter jerk to Carmondy and pretty much everyone else. He shows no real redeeming quality and it made me wonder why anyone would want to have sex with him, which apparently a lot of girls did. This was one of the biggest reasons why I considered not finishing this book. He acted horribly to Carmondy, even after they started sleeping together, time and time again.However, he did change. It was subtle – not some big 180 turn around. But, I could tell after a while he actually really did care about Carmondy and it wasn’t just about sex. He is not the hearts and flowers type of guy – never was and never becomes it. In fact, even when he actually does admit his feelings for her, there is no romance involved at all. But, it fit his personality. Did I end up loving him in the end? Not really – but I liked him a lot and had hope for him.Now Carmondy is a different story. First off, I am not a fan of her name. Sorry I said it. It just doesn’t roll off the tongue (but I’m just pointing that out – it didn’t affect my rating). But what bothered me about her was that I never really understood her. At the beginning with Beck, she kept going back to him when he was a grade A jerk to her. She would call him a jerk, think he is a jerk, but the minute he went back to being nice Beck she was putty in his hands again. I wanted for her to have a backbone. I wanted her to not just give in to him every time.  By the end of the book, she did gain some confidence in herself and started standing up for herself. But by that point, I didn’t know if I cared anymore to change my mind about her.The interesting part about this book was what made it stand out from any other book with high school students. Carmondy and Beck enter a private BDSM type relationship. Now, I have read some reviews where people found it to be completely unbelievable. I disagree. Here is why I didn’t have a problem with this.1) They were both 18 years old. 2) There was never any punishment or pain involved. The most that happened was Beck would tell her what to do and would tie her up or handcuff her. He never embarrassed her or made her do something she didn’t want to do. 3) It wasn’t like Beck was a Dom that wanted Carmondy to be his Sub. Neither have done anything BDSM-related before, but when Carmondy expressed a curiosity they experimented. In fact, Beck really only did it because he knew Carmondy liked it. He never needed it, neither of them did.I actually thought this was the best parts of the book. The sex was actually quite hot and the scenes definitely had my heart fluttering. I don’t think it is that far outside the realm of believability that two 18 year olds are sexually curious and want to explore their boundaries with one another. But that is just my opinion.On the flip side, another problem I had throughout the book was how both Beck and Carmondy were so casual about their relationship, or whatever you want to call it. Although it was a bit obvious to their friends that something was going on, they kept their relationship private and acted like acquaintances in school. And for a good portion of the beginning of their relationship, they weren’t exclusive either. I think I expected Beck to want things this way, but it just bothered me that Carmondy also seemed to want this. And it bothered me because she never explained why that’s all she wanted and didn’t want a relationship. It was obvious she liked Beck. It would’ve been more believable had she given a reason why the whole casual thing was what she wanted, especially when they were partaking in sexual activities that were more than just a quickie.And then there was the ending. I did not feel complete or content at all after finishing this book. In fact, I felt cheated a bit. It doesn’t end badly at all and there is no cliffhanger. I think I was just more bothered by the fact that it ended with a profession of love, which was very rushed and came out of nowhere and that’s it. I never got to see these two function as a couple. In addition, there were outstanding factors that were never resolved. I haven’t been able to find anything saying that there is another book coming either. So although the ending was sweet, it just left me feeling flat.So I hope you can see my dilemma. I actually did like some aspects of this book and I think the idea was original. I just wish the author made Beck more likable in the beginning while making Carmondy less like a doormat. For the first half I was hovering around 3 stars, but then once the story started gaining momentum I was at 4 stars, only to have the ending jump me back down to 3 stars. So I’ll round up and give this book 3.5 stars.