Review: Excellent story, but needs work.
Rating: 4 out of 5
Date: 09 14, 2012
I just finished reading Valley of Death and I must congratulate William for putting together one heck of a story.  It was a coaster ride that never let up.  Everything from characters and location, to action and dialogue was outstanding.  I wish I could write with such excitement and skill.  However, now that I praised his talent, let me drop the other shoe.In his closing thoughts the author gave the recipe of a good story.  I agree.  However, let's hear it for the good storyteller.  He said "revisions suck." Again, he's right.  I hate it too, but they are necessary.  Revisions are more than the addition and subtraction of commas, it also means quotation marks, paragraph structure, and some way of getting into your character's thoughts besides an over abundance of "he thought" and "he wondered."  A well-written story is the difference between having James Earl Jones as your narrator versus Fran Drescher.I admit once I got into his writing style, I was able to get past the syntax and just enjoy the story.  But why make me work so hard?