Review: Poor Writing Technique, But Good Story
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 01 17, 2013
I give it three stars, barely. My problem with Flynn remains the same, she NEEDS to GET AN EDITOR or to do a better job or editing her work, herself. Her spelling and grammar:subject and verb agreement, use of pronouns and proper nouns, punctuation, where and where not to put paragraph break, poor sentence structure (usage of incomplete sentences or phrases, instead of complete sentences) leaves much, Much, MUCH to be desired. Seriously, if I had wrote anything as badly as this was written, despite the plot content, character and setting development, during my time in 9th - 12 grade grammar and lit, English, and creative writing, college English 101, 102, and 300 level creative writing classes, most of my teachers would have given me a D or lower, a C- possibly a C+ (if they were being generous). I know, because I have failed my grammar score more than once in school, for writing as poorly as Flynn. But whatever, she is published and her work does sell. Some readers are more sensitive to such things than others. Obviously, I fit in the former group. Just because the story premise is good or very good, and you are able to get it published and sell it (sell many copies or even make the best seller list), in my opinion, is no excuse for bad spelling and grammar. I find it sloppy, when an author's is either UN-edited or poorly edited. If you are wondering what qualifies me, probably nothing - other than I really do know what good writing looks like. I read and I write a lot. I have retained a lot of what I have been taught about writing. You do not have to be a writer to know good writing when you read.I have so wanted to say to many an author, including and sometimes especially Flynn: When you were conjugating those verbs, learning when and when not to use a pronoun, the difference between and direct or indirect objects and when to use one versus the other, proper sentence punctuation and is proper usage, the difference between a sentence fragment or incomplete, complete, compound, and run-on sentences, which to use and which not to, the difference between an interrogative, a declarative or command sentence, when to put a paragraph break and then in literature: about tone, plot, setting, character development, how to stay on plot and not stray, how to determine if a detail supports the plot of not, and not to add details to your writing that do not support the plot, conflict and resolution, and you wondered, "When am I ever going to use this in life?". To that I would say you will use it when, you wake up one day and decide to be a writer and sell your books for others to read, and you want to be good at it, but if not, than never mind, you will probably never have a need for it.Now on to what I did like:I liked the basic plot, the paranomals being tricked into taking a potion, that spelled them so that they had 24 to find a mate for life (and in this universe they have the potential it seems to live forever), or unpleasant things would happened to them, and if they tried to break or tamper with the spell in anyway, for that also, unpleasant things would happen to them. At first, from the summary, it sounded a rather funny, but cruel joke to play with the lives of others about something so important. But after reading this one and learning the reason behind it, I understand the reason, but still think that giving them only 24 to do, was a bit drastic and as it turned out extremely dangerously for many in attendance of conference, and not well thought out on the elders.  I thought elders were supposed to be wise especially ones that have lived so long. I figure they were either insensitive or thought they were that desperate, for some it seemed a little of both. I think it would have better to give them at least a week or two or three. That would have been more reasonable, albeit not by much. Of course, I realize that the point of the plot is to be unreasonable and unrealistic, incredibly so, so that you could get all of these wild situations for the various volumes. But, I got the impression, which I thought was made obvious, that the writers of this series were not taking in too seriously, as in trying to create a more credible, more realistic, more doable and well-thought solution to the problem. And thus that is why I liked the plot.I really like Ant. When he realizes how serious Gavin was about not being physically or otherwise affectionate, even though he was portrayed and physically small as a human and an animal, with a rather shy and introverted personality, he did not whine, complain or cry to Gavin. Of course, he pouted, and reasonably so in my opinion, but he did not bother Gavin with it and he didn't try to retaliate by trying to get out of his presence or refusing to talk to Gavin when asked for an explanation of the ice. I found it amusing that Gavin realized he was being iced out, when he was the one, that didn't want to be affection or talk to or be anyone, even his own mate, any more than was necessary. As usual, it's fine as long as you are on the giving end, but not so much when you're on the receiving end. I liked that detail. Also that Ant, despite his size contrast with Gavin, introverted personality and soft-spokenness, he was not a push over. Thank-you! I don't enjoy the common archetype of the submissive, twink looking guy (despite age and species), that is also a complete and utter doormat. Ant was not particularly submissive or really aggressive even, but he was assertive, which in my opinion is a great way to be, unless or until, of the other is actually needed and then only for the time being. When Gavin overreacted, Ant told him so and that he was done apologizing. And when Gavin was flat out abusive toward Ant, Ant not only realized it as such, and decided that he didn't like it, that is was wrong, AND that he most certainly did NOT deserve, he knew right away that he would not tolerate it, and he didn't waste time in doing something about it. I also like that small as he was, a mouse even, he did not wait around for and act as if he always needed Gavin to fight his battles for him. He, himself was a fighter. He just wanted Gavin to be on his side, as a mate should, whether he fights your battles for or with you or not. I really liked, how it first seemed like Ant would be this totally submissive, fearful, because after all, he did look the type and fit the profile, but he turned out to be assertive and courageous.  Awesome! For me, that is a good character type.I do not like Gavin as much, but I didn't dislike him. I thought he and Ant made a good pair. I liked that for all his talk in the beginning, it turned out that Gavin was or at lease decided to be more reasonable in the situation of having to take a mate that he knew nothing about or at all, than it first appeared. I liked the display of vulnerability, when Gavin freaked out, after he and Ant had made up. I like that Gavin realized that he had over done with the way the had treated Ant in that abusive manner, and that it did not take him as long as some, to realize that he needed to fix it, and then when the first opportunity came he fix it.Again, Ant was such a trooper and tolerant and forgiving. Gavin had to learn not be so rigid and intolerant, he did learn though. When Gavin went to him in the hospital, Ant could have behave much worse toward him and reasonably so, giving the situation, but despite how upset he was and justified in that anger, he was calm and willing to hear Gavin out and accept his apology, which at that point was more than Gavin had been, not once but twice already. By the end, it's flipped on it's head as to who appeared to be the strong and more dominant one in the relationship. Gavin was all over the place emotionally, which is understandable and well placed considering his issues that had yet to be worked out. But Ant however, he was the rock. He was always the one who kept it together, who was more tolerant, understanding, willing to give the benefit of the doubt, trusting of his mate and forgiving. Gavin had the physical, size and strength and has the position of Alpha, where as Ant did not technically share leadership, because Gi-Gi had the actual position that was held by the alpha-mate, even though she was not the alpha-mate, Ant was. Despite that, Ant did have the wisdom in that relationship, but it seemed only fitting given he was twice Gavin's age. At the time, I thought it was rather fitting that Gi-Gi held the position of the Alpha-mate even though she was not. But now after reconsidering, I think, Ant was shafted. He was included in the swearing in ceremony for the Alpha, the Alpha-Mate, position and the Alpha's second, but he really had no actually rank and status. Not that he was treated that way, and he totally helped Gavin lead, but still, the position should have been his, despite the lack of ovaries and uterus, but whatever.Despite the poor writing, it was a fairly decent story. I probably wouldn't highly recommend this to others who like this sub-genre, but I would say, do not read it. I was not bad. And if she had gotten an editor, I probably would have said it was fairly good and not just decent.