Review: okay story, editing argh!
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 09 30, 2012
The plot was okay, and it's what initially drew me to purchase this story.  I think it needed better editing though.  There were a number of times when I stopped and had to reread because something didn't make sense, which pulled me away from the story. It also seemed odd to me that this sort of "naive" girl would act the way she did.  It felt out of character even despite the circumstances...maybe because it was a short piece.  I get that these stories aren't real, but I want to be convinced that it could be real and believable.