Review: What I observed "whilst" I was reading
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 09 28, 2013
I somewhat enjoyed this book, the story line and concept were interesting and very emotionally fraught, but there were several things that really detracted from what could have been at least a 4 star rating. For one thing, it needed serious editing on several levels. The first time I read it I thought that it might be set in the UK because of the language and word choice the author employed. It wasn't until the end when they drove to Yankee Stadium that I realized it was supposed to be the US. The author used whilst in place of while every single time. It got annoying very quickly as it was used several times per chapter. Other word or phrase choices were out of place as well. It seemed, to me, that the book was written by someone who has no real idea how teenagers, particularly American teenagers, would speak. I was rather intelligent, with an extensive vocabulary, at that age and I never spoke like these characters. Still, I did like most of the characters. Freesia and Jordan were good protagonists, Josh, Joe, Craig, and Miriam were likable, though somewhat two dimensional. Freesia's father, Kyle, was completely ineffectual.***SPOILER***One of the ways that Kyle annoyed me the most was when he "had" to take his boss' daughter into his home without protest when Melanie had made such a point of being hateful to Freesia. When she nearly killed Freesia in a vindictive "accident" and was still allowed to stay in their home I was seriously pissed. Any loving father would have told his boss to shove the job and brought charges against the girl, at the very least kicking her out of the house immediately. Another stupid point, brought out by another reviewer was how Miriam, after her husband left her and cleaned out their assets, prostituted herself for approximately three years, but as soon as her youngest son was born she gave that up and was able to get a job as a psychiatrist almost immediately. If she had that kind of degree, what was she doing prostituting herself for?******Anyhow, it was a decent book that could have been a lot better. Particularly with a good editor.