Review: Get a therapist
Rating: 1 out of 5
Date: 05 30, 2014
Chloe and Noah were childhood friends. Noah enters a singing competition and wins. Noah navigates stardom with the grace of a Lohan; assaulting paps, cheating in his girlfriend, and acting like an all around entitled jerk (but it's not his fault!) while maintaining a gross relationship with his childhood friend who uses him at every turn.For someone who obviously prides themself on their pop culture knowledge, it's a bit of a head scratcher when the author uses derogatory terms throughout the book. Within the first few chapters we're hit with "retard" and "ghetto" and are given a 1960s version of Noah's manager Peter (who they call "Denzel" because, ya know , all black people look alike).I would've just dropped the book but seeing that I paid for it, I plowed ahead.The author has some pent up high school resentment she needs to let out. To each their own, I just wish I wasn't charged for it. The female narrator immediately tears into the male's friends/girlfriend bc... You know... Heaven forbid they tried to make small talk with her.Noah assaults a pap. Totally not his fault! There was a camera taking pictures of a celebrity! Chloe can fix it! Let her use you to get a job with Tiger Beat in a veiled attempt to rehabilitate his image in the dying industry of teen magazines! Let Chloe exploit the homeless to make Noah look human after he assaulted someone! <headdesk>The amount of effort the author put in to details that aimed to make her, I mean CHLOE, look like a quirky butterfly end up as gross narratives. All that effort should've been put into actual research or creating anecdotes that won't be outdated in 6 months time.Dad dies - let's have sex on a dirty tree house mattress! *as you do*Constant referral to one another as "Peter" and "Pan" - *I don't think that story means what you think it does*Noah has a mega YouTube hit with "The Facebook Song!" - *is this 2009?*The characters are garbage and are used to maime the supporting cast, who are obvious stand ins for the author's high school grudges.Got all that? Now skip it.