Review: Novella with great potential
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 04 5, 2014
The author demonstrates great potential to but also misses on many counts.  The story is short, not really long enough to be classified as a full book.  The author tries to be historically accurate about things like how to cut down trees, state of the art medicine, life in the legion...But he also has some gaps that keep the story from ringing true.  He never creates any sympathetic characters, even the potential hero seems slightly dull and every other character is either a forgettable non entity or slightly despicable.I will try to avoid spoilers; but to explain what  I felt was wrong some facts must slip out.  He appears to be creating an alternate world that parallels ancient Rome.  One minor fact is there were never redwood trees in europe, as they are confined to coastal north america.  He refers to Woade as seven feet tall (and blue) which is obviously not true of any real european tribes; although in the heat of battle perhaps this is just hyperbole.  A slave camp with no means of locking down the slaves is ridiculous.  This bothered me as totally unrealistic.  Even if the slaves temporarily outnumbered the guards they should be able to lock them into cabins, pits cages, chain them to walls. etc.  A deserter who cannot live off the land nor brings enough food seems to be the mistake of a city fool not the planning of an experienced hard bitten legionnaire.  If he was captured, tortured ... this might feel more credible than just being unable to forage.For a cruel historical world the author creates characters who are very unrealistic.  When a tree falls on somebodies legs even now you have few choices.  Move the tree (impossible in this case), cut into the tree (probably take too long) dig out under the tree (not explored, so lets assume the ground was rock), cut the persons legs off,  or let him stay under the tree forever.  Why should a combat veteran be shocked and unable to act when cutting his legs off or dying appear to be the only options?  If he would prefer dying that might seem more realistic but there was no request to "just let me die" voiced.  Why did the general come out to fight when outnumbered when he could have fled?  If he did it to protect his son then why not try a little negotiating?  His actions made no sense, especially for a father who had not bothered to contact his son for years.  Is Primus even in  puberty yet?  He talks about shaving, but his actions towards the priestess appear naive, childlike.  In a soldier camp he should certainly be aware of the facts of life.  Not a single camp follower (whore) in this camp?The story starts in the capital then shifts to legion camp.  But the storyline in the capital just hangs there.  If positioning for future entanglements the author would have been better served to go ahead and put out a longer book where so many  strings are not left dangling, going nowhere.Primus should become more emotionally sympathetic.  Also when he trained with Black Titus if he is to be developed as a future hero he should at least get in a few hits as a trainee showing his future potential.  Only one real battle is over quickly and the author never gets the reader truly engaged.  Adding some larger battles could engage military readers.  Adding a map might have helped keep the reader on track and avoid the feeling the author was making up places as he went along.  The author does show a fine line showing mysticism as perceived by the believers of the time and yet not real magic.  He could take this into a true magic book  or continue to walk this line.The book is too short, just a teaser.  But it reads fairly fast, is very inexpensive and could lead to a very good series.  I would prefer a thicker books with a more tightly weaved storyline rather than a series of vignettes.  The author has potential but he needs to develop his characters and weave a tighter plot line.I received a free copy for a truthful review.  I was impressed with many aspects and do feel the author has strong potential.