Review: I Want a Dream Lover So I Don't Have to Dream Alone
Rating: 4 out of 5
Date: 11 15, 2012
The title of this review is taken from Bobby Darin's 1959 pop hit, "Dream Lover." Darin sings of wanting to find the perfect lover and partner to complement his intimate fantasies. Whereas he uses song to harmlessly express his longings, Stephen Williams writes in his book "Dating: Be Successful By Getting the Basic" about actually doing something about one's amorous desires.Williams asserts in "Dating" that "(d)ating is a community with laws and fines" (ch. 1). He is insinuating to the reader that the entire dating endeavor is a process; it is a ritual with highly-evolved routines and unspoken rules that need to be followed to near-perfection, or else a second dating opportunity will not materialize. This can be compared to a job interview in this regard---just as a prospective employee will take the time to update and spell-check their resume, wear appropriate dress, and be punctual, so, too, will a guy (the author writes "Dating" from the male perspective) take the time to burnish his dating credentials by being aware of a woman's tendency to over-analyze what is said; by being honest and forthright with her from the start; and allow sufficient time to let trust develop so that opening up and being vulnerable with one another becomes a natural consequence of all actions taken up to that point."Dating" highlights the evolution of the dating scene to include speed dates, on-line dating, and the tried-and-true blind dates. All three of these procedures are legitimate approaches to finding the most appropriate dating partner; however, it is important to recognize the pitfalls inherent in them, and Williams dishes on these within his tome.As with his other writings concerning the dating scene, Williams writes with empathy and concern, and his relentlessly upbeat, positive tone reverberates throughout the book. He encourages all prospective daters to practice as much as possible his numerous suggestions for finding and going on a date any time a social encounter with the opposite sex arises, and he also highlights several well-intentioned suggestions for getting a second date with the same person.Just as a professional baseball player is not expected to hit a home run every time he comes up to bat, "Dating" does not expect a guy to achieve a subsequent second outing with his partner at the conclusion of every first date. Williams stresses that there may be numerous first dates that never will progress to the next level, and that such results are to be expected. Every refusal brings a guy that much closer to earning another chance to go out with the woman who may turn out to be "the one." (As a matter of perspective, Babe Ruth was one of baseball's most prolific home run hitters---but he also struck out more often than any other player of his era.)"Dating" admonishes a guy to think carefully about his dating modus operandi. Poor communication (both spoken and otherwise) seems to be the primary reason why most dates for guys never lead to a second opportunity to get to know a lady better. Additionally, knowing that women think, speak, and act differently than men in the dating field will provide most guys an advantage of sorts over other men who fail to keep such observations in mind.Williams has written a book primarily geared toward men who want to improve their chances of a second interview of sorts with the girl of their dreams, and also demonstrates the importance of having a solid social foundation upon which to cultivate long-lasting, positive dating experiences.