Review: Promising writer - needs some editing
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 06 19, 2012
I enjoyed the book. The overall plot is quite good and the writing is also quite good.Good work on the dialog - so many new writers fall down here and get too preachy -And the H.R. Haldeman-type Chief of Staff was a scream. Many thanks for that character.The adventures of the rogue federal agents strained credulity at times. Tremendous amounts of lead from the bad guys never or rarely hit the good guys, but the good guys are using their pistols to score almost every time. Yup!Also, as a veteran there were a few editing problems that bugged me - here they are:The weapons depot gate guard calling Sergeant Lantz "sir" and also saluting him. These details were unnecessary for the story plus they were inaccurate. No salutes and definitely no "sir"s.Been around any Fibbies [FBI Special Agents]? They get downright snotty when you refer to one of them as "Agent" as in "Agent Crawford". It would have been corrected immediately to "Special Agent"."Special Agent Crawford" was a definite jerk. However his character was overdrawn. He would have been reprimanded and demoted if in real life he had pulled 1% of the misogynistic nonsense toward the female Special Agent as this character did. Let's give the Bureau some credit here.But other than these nagging mis-steps, an overall good read. A very promising author. Looking forward to more of his work.