Review: Good story, but poor writing
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 01 26, 2014
The story was good and realistic, but the writing was choppy and stilted. Short direct sentencing that described each action, even when unnecessary (He opened the door. He got in the car. He sat down. He shut the door).  and *SPOILER* all the story was for naught. Everything they investigated and did, didn't help stop the bad guy. There were so many different people followed that we rarely saw the main characters, Jenny and Pierre. Everybody says did Jenny and Pierre end up together? Well, why should we care, they only saw each other like 4 times for 4 short conversations.They could be attracted to one another, but hardly fall in love.  If Jenny had told Pierre what she knew they could have stopped the bad guy. I think we spent more time with all the other characters than them. Maybe Lance and Kai were actually the main characters?. Even The Helpers confused me. They were taking out their own people and one time questioned what the weapon was for and where it was--I thought they were actually good guys except that Gaston was a Helper.Not sure about all that. The book just stops and you have a note from the author that she broke the book up into two to make it not too long. More like to make more money. I'm a little curious as to what happens to the characters, but not enough to buy the next book.. There were a few typos, but that seems to be the norm now with ebooks. Even though I was interested in the story, I glad it was a free book, wouldn't have wanted to pay for it.