Review: not bad, but had a few problems
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 07 11, 2014
The editing needed some work, not just on punctuation and spelling, but on story points. A few of the main plot points were extremely arbitrary--there only because the author wanted them, not because they made sense in the story. She needed to put more work into Chris's behavior before she derailed him so completely. It reads like she wrote the story, figured she didn't have a villain who was 'bad' enough), and threw in a psychotic break 'just because' so he would do the bad things the author felt necessary for dramatic tension. It was a good premise and she had worked out a reasoning for why the characters didn't just have a single conversation to work out their issues in the first two pages (always good), and had interesting, if sometimes switch-psychotic, characters.EDIT: FYI, The logistics of uprooting "half a town's worth" of werewolves in a month are mind-boggling, and completely ignored from the point of view of the leaving pack--lost jobs, at least 2 businesses "signed over" without any kind of financial restitution mentioned, kids yanked out of school mid-year, houses left unsold, housing to be acquired in a new city that none of the pack knows... No word of scouting to find a place without a resident pack already there... And all while dealing with the betrayal and loss of 5 pack members--some of the next generation's top brass, given the story setting. These were friends and neighbors, and probably not a few intermarriages (yes, I know they'd have switched packs, but that's a lot easier to handle when your family still lives next door). Mind boggles. Seriously.