Review: Short and sweet, but somewhat adrift.
Rating: 4 out of 5
Date: 12 12, 2012
Editorial note: This review is for an earlier edition of "Slave to Marshmallows", and awarded 3 stars. I give 4 to the second edition, which has undergone significant editing. Specifically, dialogue and description have been balanced further. Characterization has been improved, and the world has been made more clear, the characters more developed. My original review is below:In "Slave to Marshmallows", Grabe creates a colorful and interesting world with an economy of words. In fact, just about everything is done with an economy of words. The result is a (very) short story, totaling around 23 pages. I got my copy during a promotional free period, but right off the bat, such a low page count renders any price above 1.99 rather prohibitive for all but the best prose.Unfortunately, "Slave to Marshmallows" is not quite the best prose - an essential element in steampunk is a touch of self-awareness, because without it, the genre risks drifting into vague pretentiousness, which is this novel's weak point. It seemed to be a bit caught up in itself - for this particular story to work, it must take itself a bit less seriously. There is very little dialogue, causing an over-reliance on description, which is sometimes too vague or obtuse to be entirely coherent. Further, much of the actual plot is a mishmash of old, well-worn tropes that "Slave to Marshmallows" fails to dress in new clothing (as just about every plot in this era must be).Without getting into the details of the plot (so as to not require a spoiler warning), the main flaw is a lack of "substance". To clarify, it seemed that the main character lacked emotional depth, and was instead used as a lens for viewing the world around her, and that because of that emotional disconnect, her character and her story left no lasting impression on me, something like a quick bite of food that left me still hungry, as if I'd eaten nothing at all. I don't necessarily require anything extraordinary or profound out of a short story, much less of one aimed at children, but I desire to come away with something after reading, to have gained a new perspective, or been made to think a new kind of thought, something that will mark the story and its characters indelibly upon my memory.It seemed abstract, almost like a piece of modern art; less of a fairy tale and more of a stab at artistic merit and depth (sort of like "Bastion" was for games or "Amelie" for films). The difference being that Bastion at its core was a very solid game and Amelie a strong film, but "Slave to Marshmallows", once past the impressive descriptive language, lacks substance. Sweet, but airy - much like a marshmallow. That said, I would very much like to see more from this very interesting world, once the style is a bit more polished. I see a vivid imagination at work, one with a very clear and very interesting vision. The story is one that I would like to see continue.