Review: I'd rather be waterboarded...
Rating: 1 out of 5
Date: 06 21, 2012
Imagine a story where the characters are emotional, immature wrecks, the plot is raggedly stitched together like Frankenstein and stretched like taffy, vocabulary words are chronically misused, punctuation is used sporadically (and incorrectly), Aussie gutter slang is bandied about to the point of incoherency, conversation grates painfully and awkwardly, and you feel like if you read one line more you'll want to sew your eyelids shut just to block out the excruciating pain coming from your brain's logic center.Imagine all of that and you still won't come within throwing distance of this pile.I'm not normally this tactless... but dear heaven above, this book was a hot mess. This author has absolutely no grasp of the English language - I felt like I needed a darn decoder ring (yup, another book in need of this mystical decoder ring). Half the time I couldn't tell whether she was misspelling a word, using the wrong term or throwing in more nonsensical slang.Example:"He put his head into the crock of his arm..."The main conflict that the whole book was built on was so ridiculously hollow that the author was forced to create drama out of thin air just to keep it going, leaving the reader thinking "what the heck are they so upset about?" or "wait, where in the heck did that come from?".We are forced, to endure 'horrible, punctuation that violates the rhythm, of the sentences to the point that you. Often have to re-read... just to make sure, that you understand it. Correctly.Don't even get me started on the actual story, which is nothing but a sloppy mishmash of pathetic, juvenile, bi-polar puppy love that no one in their right mind can relate to. Want to read about a rich, gorgeous, 27 year old virgin and a prude, frigid, vengeful Hun?I implore you - read a sample if you don't believe me. From the very beginning this book is a train wreck. You can't even tell what in blue blazes is going on until a couple chapters in. I literally stopped at 50% in just to write this review... and am still stunned that I forced myself to read this far.I'd burn it if it weren't on my Kindle.