Review: My Name is Weena, and I'm an Athletic Supporter
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 05 3, 2012
Nicole's hockey-playing ex-boyfriend basically calls her a hockey-hoe on national television after she dumps his buff ass.  Since she works for the Caribou hockey team in communications/PR and doesn't want to bring them bad press, she vows never to date a hockey dude again.If it was me, I'd proudly be wearing one of those department store name badges that says, "Hi, My Name is Weena.  Ask Me About My Vagina," around the office.  I mean, if you're going to sit me down at the hockey player buffet, I'm gonna eat.  A LOT.  Probably until I barf or catch some social disease, and even then I'm not sure I'd stop, because...ya know...HOCKEY PADS on tight HOCKEY PLAYING BUTTS.  That's all I'm sayin'.So, at this point, the Universe rolls its eyes at its fellow Mean Girls Posse and throws Logan Heller her way.  Logan's been traded to the Caribous and is trying to make the best of a bad situation, and he runs into Nicole with her no-dating vow.  And it's smothered in hot, gooey sexual tension.  And I'm thinking they should spread that allllll over some nice hockey pads and lick it alllll off.And whaddya know!  They do!  And vows and panties and hockey pads are flying all over the place, just like I like 'em.  Nicole futilely tries to patch up her vow with athletic tape and maybe some lube, but that ain't working, and her vow wants some more of that hot-ass hockey-man action, so Nicole convinces Logan to keep things on the down low.But, see, Logan is a decent guy, and he actually has FEELINGS (and I would like him to rub those feelings all over me, but this ain't my story, more's the pity), and he struggles with not being able to date Nicole like they would in a normal relationship.  But then again, I struggle to get into my Spanx every day, and in the end, the fight is totally worth it, and did you see how I made this all about me?Ennyway, of course Logan and Nicole work it out, I get my recommended daily dose of nekkid athletes doing the deed, and my hockey pad fetish has been nicely satisfied.