Review: Boring  *** NOTE: CONTAINS SOME SPOILER ALERTS ***
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 06 7, 2014
It could have been worse, but it was pretty boring, and at times I speed read through large gaps of pages without missing too much from the plot. The character had lots of back and forths with himself in his head - over & over - about whether or not he still loved his girlfriend even though she never spent any time with him, and she went out partying constantly without him; plus, she physically grossed him out with the fat layer around her abdomen, "clock pendulum breasts" and puggy face. The story went on likewise in the same vane, constantly reiterating the same ideas and thoughts for pages on end, with much of the dialogue between the characters following suit in similar fashion. Also, if I had to read about how the main character's armpits were synonyms for faucets, waterfalls, or streams again I was gonna hurl. There must have been some other creative way to get his nervousness across to the reader? There was just too many references to Darren's sweaty pits - quite possibly at least twenty. The sexual scenes weren't well done either - seeming to be described by someone who has no idea what a sexual encounter is like. And lastly, the "monster" was what exactly? A giant beetle creature perhaps, that made car alarm sound effects in the hunt? Whoop-whoop-ca-chunk? Really? The reader never got the satisfaction of finding out what it was at the climax either, as there was conveniently a large, bottomless pit that everything but a exoskeleton covered tentacle was hidden in. Lame, though possibly a better effort at writing than I could have done.