Review: hated the main character. *spoilers*
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 08 26, 2013
If I'm being completely honest, I didn't love this book. I'm not even sure I liked it. But to explain myself, I have to include major spoilers, so read on at your own discretion...Before everyone starts throwing things, let me be clear. I love love love a good love triangle. I love a bad boy. I love cursing and bad language and dirty sex. I love an angst-ridden emotional roller coaster. I love darkness and pain. I love my heart to break. So before you think I read a book outside of my genre of choice and then berated the crap out of it, let me be clear: this was SO right up my ally. It just... wasn't it for me...First off, I hated Cathy. And when you hate your main character, when you hate the sound of her voice and her inner monologue, I'm not sure where you can go from there. From the age of 18, at that party, where Ben was nothing but a stand-up respectful, honorable guy and wanted to wait to have sex with Cathy in a romantic, respectable way, and Cathy pitched a tantrum, dressed and danced like a skank with Ben's friend who she'd never met, just to try to make Ben jealous... Honestly... I can not be Team Cathy after that juvenile display of deplorable behavior. 22 year old, law school bound Ben should have dropped Cathy like a hot potato right then and there. But he didn't.And maybe that whole episode was supposed to allude to how Cathy would handle stress later in life and act out on it instead of dealing with it head on... and maybe it was supposed to show how Ben would love her through it despite her flaws... but it dropped Cathy down on my respect meter significantly.And speaking of Ben... I loved Ben. Ben was the only ray of light in this whole dark mess. But when Ben finally, after the whole big fight, and after Cathy's tantrum, decided after all that happened to do Cathy doggy style on a dresser in the upstairs bedroom of a rowdy party... well that did not seem like consistent behavior with the Ben I had come to know and love. This is not something Ben would do. Not his first time with Cathy, not just a day before declaring his love for her... he'd save the doggy for later. Just sayin... So with that said, I proceeded to read while subconsciously looking for holes in the story.Arsen. Now, I will repeat. I love a bad boy. I will, without fail, always always always root for the bad boy in any given situation. Arsen is now the exception to my rule. Arsen is an idiot and a jerk. I get that he's supposed to be younger than Cathy, early to mid-20s. I get that he is a sexy, wealthy playboy. So do you mean to tell me that no where in that privileged upbringing, no one taught him some tact and etiquette? You don't drop the f-bomb in front of complete strangers. You don't talk about who else you hooked up with and why and when and how in front of a woman that you are friends with but secretly pining after. I don't know if the author felt that the overuse of the f-bomb was necessary to convey Arsen's masculinity, or his womanizing personality... but it was just that: overused. The overuse made me roll my eyes and it all went from being sexy dialogue to cheesy, gouge out my eyeballs with a fork annoying.Maybe it's my fault that I bought into all the hype on goodreads and facebook about how intensely emotional this book was. But it took way too long to develop, in my opinion. Things didn't pick up until after the 40%ish mark. If I was one of those readers (which I am not!) that abandons a book out of boredom, I would have.But alas, things did pick up. The drama increased and my hate for Cathy multiplied exponentially. Now, don't get me wrong, I sympathized with her loss and her pain. But to put any of the blame on Ben for why the marriage was crumbling was just wrong. He did what any husband in that situation would have done, he stayed strong despite his own pain, he tried to remain positive and he tried to convince Cathy to do the same. But Cathy, once again, decides that the sun and moon rise and fall around her, and she does whatever she wants, despite who she hurts. Now, everyone and their mother hated Kiera because of how wishy washy she was between Kellan and Denny. Cathy knocks wishy washy out of the ball park. I understand the whole loving two guys synopsis. But the whole "I love Ben so much" (blink) "I love Arsen so much" (turn page) "I love Ben"... I mean, really. Atleast mull that over a bit. It was LITERALLY, as soon as whoever she was with stopped touching her for 2 seconds, she was madly in love with the other guy. Yet she showed no remorse EVER. Atleast Keira felt badly about what she did to Denny.This chick needed more therapy than Crystle can offer up, she needs to be committed. And calling Amy for advice and then arguing with her because she didn't like what she heard... the selfishness of this chick knows no bounds. Get over yourself. I started to almost think that maybe she couldn't have a child because she wasn't selfless enough to care for one. She wanted a baby more than she wanted anything... including a good man. I just can't find it in myself to like her or want good things for her.My favorite part of the book... the part of the book that pulled me in, and the only part of the book that I had any real emotional connection with, was Ben's emotional breakdown upon Cathy's final admittance. That was heartbreaking and I cried... like real, actual tears. He would have, undoubtedly, forgiven Cathy on the spot if she had shown even an ounce of remorse. But of course she did not.And to top off my already tucked off cake, Cathy doesn't even bother to figure out who fathered that kid?? I mean, come ON! Arsen... ok, fine. He said he didn't want to be a father. We know it was a lie, but if Cathy was basing her actions on what she knew, then Arsen wouldn't have been involved with her or the kid anyway, so atleast you have the truth. But to not find out the truth for Ben's sake? That guy wanted a child and a family just as badly as Cathy did. He suffered those losses just like he did. And she didn't tell him?? That's probably more dispicable than the affair.I was happy with the ending. I was glad that she and Ben ended up together, because ultimately that is the ending I hoped for. But then the epilogue came along and ruined that. I was kinda pissed that Arsen is made out to be some kind of hero at the end, suddenly putting everyone else's happiness before his own. Really, Arsen? Where was your sense of selflessness when you told Cathy to get on her knees in your bedroom. Give me a break. And the fact that Nadia is his makes me even more mad. But whatever... it is what it is...Maybe buying into the hype set my expectations too high. Maybe I'm just a critical reader and hard to please. I don't know why I didn't love this book. I do know that my love or hate of a book is based on how I feel while reading it. I don't have to love the outcome of a book to love the story. I actually live for how many painful tugs my heart feels while reading a book. I look for turmoil and pain and heartbreak. And I know how I was supposed to feel while I read Arsen... I was supposed to feel emotionally torn for Cathy, I was supposed to feel how difficult this life-altering decision is for her to make, how hard it is to choose one love or another. But that's not what I felt. I felt anger toward her for being so selfish and putting herself in this situation to begin with. I felt utter disdain for this chick who would go hook up with her boyfriend in a closet at a party while her husband practically begged her not to. I could not sympathize with the main character, and I think that obviously affected how I read the entire story.Arsen is the fire and Ben is the rain... and Cathy should be shackled in a basement somewhere and not allowed to experience the weather.