Review: Perhaps the shortest invasion in history
Rating: 4 out of 5
Date: 10 6, 2012
While trampling about in the Kindle "freebie" area recently, I stumbled upon a couple of short stories by Simon Haynes. First I read and reviewed, "The Desolator," a short story lampooning just about every "D&D-style;" fantasy ever written. I definitely recommend it if you have a bit of time to kill while waiting for a bus or killing off the lunch hour at work. Don't read it around other people though unless you want to spend more time explaining why you were laughing to yourself than actually reading the story. Anyway, it made me eager to read his other freebie, "Catch of the Day." (I'm a bit like a stray cat. Feed me something I like once and I'll likely come back looking for more.)Genre-wise, COTD (cute way to shorten the title, no? What do you mean no?!?!) couldn't be more different than the quest-fueled fantasy of the Desolator. They are similar in the sense that they are both quite amusing, but COTD is an exercise in aliens and redneckery. (Oh yeah, I tend to make up words too.)It's obvious that the author was wishing to showcase his vast and versatile flexibility by making these the only two free short stories out of the dozen or so he's written. I came to this conclusion when I discovered (translation, the author read my review and outright POINTED me to it) that he's also the author of a series of space-opera novels in which episode one is available for free. He made the assumption that if I read the first one I'd be SO intrigued that I'd pry open my wallet long enough to let the moths clear out and actually PAY for the remaining books.  HAH! Fat chance! I'm actually a man of discerning taste and delicate sensibilities that often masquerades as one of the thousands of cheap so-and-sos that only get the free offerings and then writes one star reviews because the author made a singular grammatical mistake on page 2199 or something. Sure I went ahead and bought the rest of the Hal Spacejock books after reading episode one. But not because he lured me with that, "the first time's free but then you gotta pay" trick. No siree Bob! I grew up in the '70s when every self-respecting drug dealer built his business that way. Or (ahem) so I've heard. I did it because I knew my wife, er, uh... Jessica Alba would enjoy them. Yeah, that's the ticket. That'll show Simon Haynes not to make assumptions about his readers! Of course, that also means he's getting paid so he probably couldn't care less one way or the other, but my abundant ego is assuaged this way so I'm sticking to my story.I'll warn you that COTD is not quite as creative or funny as The Desolator. It IS however, a cut above most of what passes for short stories in the realm of e-publishing. It's a very quick read that will "hook" you and leave you wanting for more. I won't explain why I put that word in quotes. Download the story and you'll find out soon enough. Go ahead you cheapskates. It's free. But be forewarned. I started out grabbing the freebies that Haynes left scattered like so many breadcrumbs for hungry birds and wound up buying both of his short story anthologies, the Spacejock set, and even plan to read his Spacejock Jr. series for kids. Yeah, his stuff is that good. He's funny without being overly ribald, and knows how to lampoon a genre without being either mean or overly obvious about it. I've become a fan and I think if you give his stuff a chance you will become one too. There are good authors toiling away in the "indie writer" market. It just takes a little digging to find them. I think Simon Haynes is one of them. If you read this review and have some favorite authors you have found, leave me a comment with their names and I'll check them out. I love reading and one of the real advantages of the Kindle is that I don't have to shell out huge bucks to read good stories. Help me spread the word around about the good authors and we all benefit from it. Be aware though, if you prefer to spend your time reading "hard" sci-fi or serious fiction, you probably won't enjoy these stories very much. I like that sort of thing as well, but it's quite difficult to make someone laugh with the written word (look at how miserably I've failed in this review alone!) and COTD - as well as Haynes' other things I've read so far - have indeed gotten me laughing.