Review: Refreshing Change, But Needs Help.
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 10 18, 2011
I liked the story idea. A good old fashioned ghost story that didn't involved demons or things that rip, murder or suck blood.. all the crap you see out now.However, like many others have mentioned, it needs some editing. Unlike most stories that need editing, this one needs some longer drawn out sentences instead of the short bullet statements made here..ie:He opened the door. He stepped out of the car. He turned. He closed the door. All true perhaps, but it should have been one sentence instead of 4 or 5, maybe more. The sentences are that compact at times.I'll give it 2 stars because the story was different than the usual. Let's hope the author takes these critiques to heart and gets some help in laying his story lines out. I keep looking at his other books, and all the reviews say the same thing basically. Which, uh, I just said again. Anyway, this could have easily been a nice 4 star story with some help.I think the point is that people would not, as a rule, bother to leave a poor review to be mean but in the hopes that the author will see a trend and take it as it was meant.. For me, I mean this: you have promise, but should seek some guidance in the construction of details. Those details are what help people to place themselves inside a story. The beauty of reading is the reader constructs their own little visualization of what's going on in the story. And short bullet statements make it hard for a reader to stay in the mode that the story is creating.