Review: A book that can help victims of abuse to understand and heal
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 06 2, 2011
Losing the Hate by Simon Palmer is a devastatingly painful account of sexual abuse, told in memoir fashion by one who experienced it. Simon Palmer does a superb job of putting the reader into the mind of his child self as he is inextricably sucked into the worlds of child pornography and sexual abuse by a combination of a teacher and a perverted couple. What is most horrific to read is not, however, the graphic description of the abuse, but rather the child Simon's keen knowledge of what is coming, how repellent it is to him, and how he is unable to extricate himself from the events. Children sometimes do not understand what is normal and abnormal in the adult world, and taking advantage of that vulnerability, the first of a series of sexual predators lures in young Simon using calculating lures, and then makes the child feel ashamed and guilty so that he cannot report it nor can he avoid being irrationally drawn further into more of the same. The psychological turmoil that results from this initial abuse causes Simon to destroy his relationships and find more and more ways to act out in society. As a teacher who has worked with emotionally disturbed children in the past, I can easily contemplate and relate to the antisocial, vulgar, and violent person the author describes when reflecting upon himself, and I can feel compassion for the young man's plight. A young person who reads Losing the Hate may find in it the strength to fight back against sexual abuse, may realize that "if he had said something, it might have ended, and maybe if I say something, I can make it stop." This is Palmer's avowed reason for writing this book, and I think he has been both brave and noble. His writing should find an audience; it deserves a chance to help others.Simon Palmer's writing style has an easy and enjoyable flow. I can't call the book a pleasure to read because of the subject matter, but he writes clearly, efficiently, with an enjoyable colloquial tone.  The book also features selections of heartfelt rhymed poetry which emphasize the intensity of Palmer's feelings at key moments in the story.This book was loaned to me by a friend who was also shaken by its contents, and who asked me to read it and to help spread its important message. I hope I have done so here.