Review: Couldn't Have Said Anything Better Myself
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 11 6, 2012
In our fast-paced world, we want to get from one point to another yesterday.Of course, this is hyperbole. Nevertheless, we have been conditioned within our culture to expect things when we want them, where we want them, and woe to the person or event that impedes us from accomplishing these goals. Collectively speaking, we have been raised to believe worn, hackneyed cliches---bigger is better, new is improved, etc.---and that anything less than what our expectations have conditioned us to accept represents a resounding failure.Talk about set-up for a failure.Even in our sex lives, we (especially men) have been conditioned to think that penetration and orgasm are the be-all, end-all. Stephen Williams's book "Erotic Sex: More Than Just Penetration" refutes these destructive attitudes and lays out a solid, how-to approach to lovemaking that steers the focus away from goal-setting (achieving orgasm), and emphasizes the erotic, sensual journey instead.Williams has written many enjoyable books (as evidenced by my earlier reviews), but this particular tome is outstanding. He acknowledges the fact that human beings are sexual creatures and enjoy numerous activities that pertain to the sexual experience. But what makes this particular book simultaneously enjoyable and valuable is Williams's writing style. He emphasizes communication---verbal, sexual, physical. In so doing, he creates an atmosphere of trust that supersedes the casual and superficial, and moves beyond the everyday, mundane, rote approach to lovemaking found in countless bedrooms.Even more exciting is the fact that "Erotic Sex" lives up to its title simply by constant, consistent focus upon our senses: we love and enjoy that which is pleasant-smelling, visually delightful, and otologically soothing. This is summed up in two words that Williams uses: "Be fresh." He unequivocally states that "(s)ometimes, no matter how wild sex can drive you, smelling or tasting something foul can dampen the desire." I completely agree with this assertion---who wants to snuggle with their sweetie when (s)he reeks of day-old sweat and has a coating of grime adorning their body to boot?While "Erotic Sex" also focuses upon setting the mood, participating in what your partner enjoys, etc., one of the most central roles featured in Williams's work is getting to know each other. By doing this, it is as if the author is encouraging his readers to return to what attracted both partners to each other in the first place. The intention is to form a constant reminder of the positive qualities both partners find in one another, and then building upon that connection to create a bond that is even more intimate and loving.A pervasive sense of empathy can be found throughout "Erotic Sex." The author takes great care to emphasize what is good, what is gentle, what is loving. Some people may assert that Williams takes a Pollyanna-ish approach to sexual intimacy, but I would submit that a focus upon the positives makes it easier to deal with the inevitable mishaps and goofs that can and do arise while lovemaking."Erotic Sex" ultimately connected with me because emotion is channeled into relating with your partner. Having a strong emotional connection strengthens relationships far beyond the sexual, and when coupled with what is erotic, transcends the mundane in relating with your partner.