Review: so. damn. good.
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 08 14, 2012
Blerg. This little novella hit all the right spots. Like, if I were some sort of badass, sharp-toothed trained guard dog and EMBER were a burglar, I'd be lying around chomping on drugged steak and dreaming of fire hydrants while EMBER cracked the safe and ran away with the family jewels. If we were characters in Bye, Bye Birdie I'd be sitting by the phone, singing about how happy I am to wait for Conrad's call, and EMBER would be Conrad, swaggering around with some other girl.I feel like I didn't have a choice about liking EMBER. Like it wasn't a matter of personal taste or discernment, but, rather, I'd been programmed and the second I opened the first page, the script kicked in and boom, now I'm just a minion to the book. Hopelessly in thrall.That probably sounds sarcastic to you, but really it's not.So. Ember is a novella, a sort of Frankenstein's monster version of Cinderella. All the elements of the fairy tale that you know are here, but rearranged and often perverted. It starts with the Prince - a man cursed from birth with overwhelming charm. He enthralls everyone he meets. He gets whatever he wants just by asking. He stops wars when he appears on the field of battle.And he's sick unto death of adoration.Our heroine, Ember, is a witch. After one taste of the Prince's overwhelming charm, of how humiliatingly susceptible she was to its power, she's willing to do anything - including dark magic - to make herself immune.But, of course, the Prince is obsessed with the one woman able to resist him.That's the premise, and if it sounds awesome to you, you should read this novella. Simple as that. You will love it.If you are not yet convinced, how about I sweeten the deal and hint at some of the wonderful, Disney-on-the-dark-side treats to be found within: the wicked stepmother and her wicked stepdaughters appear here as devious prostitutes; Ember herself is a dark-eyed redhead with a foul temper who works blood magic, but the doe-eyed blonde who sleeps by the kitchen fire does make an appearance; so does the infamous one-size-fits-one slipper, and for the first time ever the weird gimmick of using a shoe to identify a mysterious individual makes total sense.Seriously. It's so good it's...stealing my will and using my fingers to type this review. If it sounds like your thing, it is your thing. You will be just as helpless as I appear to be. And it's $0.99! How can you resist?No...really. How can you resist?