Review: Ups and Downs
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 07 30, 2011
I downloaded this as freebie from Smashwords during their July sale.From time to time I come across a story that causes me to reach for my red editing pencil. I'm not an editor. Actually, my writing mechanics are very weak. This story just made me want to write critique notes in the margins.The language seemed forced and choppy. The author's word choices frustrated me. I understand that she most likely wanted to include vocabulary from this era. Ms. Gleason knocked me out of the story repeatedly by tossing in terms I had no clue the meaning of. At times she offered enough of an explanation for me to grasp her meaning - mostly she did not. Examples include: lief, trestle, brooked, haring, nonce, intoned, rood, termagent, destrier, and demesne.Perhaps I haven't read enough medieval romance. I feel an author can cushion these words with lead in text or imagery to give the reader enough understanding. In the case of this story, that did not happen. It left me thinking, "Oh, she's pulled out the dusty, ancient-times thesaurus again." In my opinion, authors should avoid interrupting the flow.There was also a fair amount of same page, point of view head hopping going on. Bothersome. I also found the connection between Bernard and Joanna flat. Some of the other reviews stated this story needed to be longer. I disagree. These scenes were plenty long. It needed to be better.** Spoiler Alert **Those of you who have read my reviews or know my rating scale may be wondering why I gave this three stars. It sounds more like a two. About 50% through the story it really picked up. I enjoyed the jousting scene very much. I thought it was well done. Colleen Gleason can write action. She also made me hate the villain, Rafe. I disliked him so much by the end of the story I wanted to see him die a slow and painful death. I stayed up late finishing the novella just to see him die.Well done.Lavender Vows has its ups and downs. It firmly falls in the middle of my scale - three stars.~ Jenna