Review: good read...but
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 05 25, 2014
Overall, the writing is good and the writer shows quite a bit of imagination.  However there are some serious issues with it that do not degrade the fun read.  The first and foremost of these is that the author knows very little about the real United States Marine Corps, which he has hijacked into a British style empire.First;  "The Grand Old Man of the Corps" is not the Commandant, whoever he may be.  Major General Archibald Henderson was the one and only "Grand Old Man of the Corps."  He earned this title through over fifty years of service, 39 of which were as the Commandant.  No real Marine would ever refer to anyone else by that title.  We Marines take our history quite seriously.  Please feel free to write about us all that you want, whether it be in a fictional setting or actual history.  Just don't muck it up, thereby giving the uninitiated false impressions of our organization.There are numerous other issues here, but the only other one that I will mention is your clear ignorance of rank structure and the responsibilities that come with it.  You had Edward commanding a company when he was a Captain, and that is correct.  But then you jumped him over the ranks of Major and Lieutenant Colonel to make him a full bird Colonel.  That would never happen in the Marine Corps or any other well organized military.  Additionally, once promoted to colonel, one would be reassigned to command of a regiment, not left in charge of a company.  That's like having A company's senior VP acting as a factory manager.  It just wouldn't happen.Keep writing though.  I still enjoy the stories.