Review: Absolutely fantastic
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 10 5, 2013
I haven't read a book by Z.A. Maxfield that I haven't liked, and some I've outright loved, so when I heard about 'My Cowboy Heart' I knew I'd have to read it. Because not only is it written by an author I enjoy, but it's cowboys. I'll say it again—cowboys. Yep, you heard me right the first time. And, because I'm familiar with this author, I was pretty sure this story wouldn't be run-of-the-mill anything. As usual (or so my husband tells me), I was right.Malloy has lived on the J-Bar ranch since he was fourteen when the Jenkins took him as a foster child. It's the only real home he's ever had and he was blessed when he was brought to Crandall and Emma Jenkins's ranch. Crandall and Emma, both, taught him there are good people in the world, and Malloy looks up to Crandall as far more than just his boss. Malloy is a loner, by nature, doesn't say much, and keeps to himself, although only lately has he actually felt lonely. He may be the foreman, but he pretty much stays out of the other two ranch hands, Eddie and Jim's, lives. Eddie's been at the ranch longer than Malloy, a quiet, unassuming hard worker. Jim drinks too much and can get ugly with it. Malloy went to college, got a degree in business, and came back to the ranch, to his home. Where he thought he knew who he was and what he wanted until the day Crispin came to the ranch.Crispin's parents were actors in Hollywood and died when he was younger so he went to live with his aunt in New Mexico. As he says his early years were filled with "narcissism and Scientology", but he was pretty lonely, too. Crispin has a way with animals, can take care of himself, talks, a lot, makes Day of the Dead dolls, and basically turns the ranch and Malloy upside down. There is a lot more to Crispin, though, than what meets the eye. There's a wellspring of anger he keeps buried along with his loneliness and his vulnerability.I think these guys had one of the best first kiss scenes I've ever read, and that's saying a lot. For Malloy it makes him start thinking and wondering, because kissing Crispin is more electric and exciting than kissing a woman has ever been. And Malloy is discovering how much he likes Crispin as a friend, as a man, and when he's faced with some of Crispin's vulnerabilities, it almost made me cry, it was such a beautiful scene. And, so, here is where the author takes the story to a place that isn't usually seen. Crispin tells Malloy he doesn't think he's the person for him. What? Not what I was expecting. I figured Malloy would be fighting it the whole way, and he's certainly having a time wrapping his mind around some stuff, but I assumed Crispin would be completely into having a relationship with Malloy. Turns out Crispin's decision has more to do with a whole big Samsonite he's been carrying around since he was eight years old. It's just part of the reason why I really adore this author's work. It always keeps me guessing and, usually, on the edge of my seat in anticipation.Crispin and Malloy together, figuring out their relationship, Malloy understanding what it means to be gay, and the two of them learning to love and trust the other with all of their secrets and hidden pain, was truly beautiful to watch. And, Malloy's pain has only just begun, when Crandall, his foster father, the closest thing to a real father Malloy's ever had, suffers a major heart attack. Tragedy is never easy to deal with and combining it with Malloy's fears of the ranch disappearing and his home being gone, well, it's a sad time filled with hurt and anguish. And, Z.A. Maxfield, darn it, you made me cry.There isn't a single thing about this book that I did not love. Everything, from the characters, to the story line, to the love, was incredible, beautiful, and made my heart hurt with how perfect it was. I loved it all. Thank you, ZAM, for another fabulous couple to add to my list of favorites.NOTE: This book was provided by the author for the purpose of a review on Rainbow Book Reviews