Review: Needs some work, but a good 1st draft
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 09 11, 2012
Although the character of Maggie is fairly well developed, no others were.The use of flashbacks as Maggie goes about her day is okay, & displays to the reader the PTSD many victims of abuse encounter very well.However, as scenes are described, the author makes far too liberal use of "the man," "the woman," & even "the child" (meaning Maggie). This tends to keep this reader from relating to even the main character. As one fairly large section relates to a step father, I feel he should be given a name.I'm unsure if "the child" was abused by "the mother" as there are scenes of great love between them, then scenes of great abuse, so this begs for clarification..I found the scene at the run-down house unbelievable. Again no names were used and no reason for the trip. The family arrives, Maggie gets a cookie, is raped by a nameless man & they all leave. Ooookay! They were to "meet moms friends" but never did. Huh???This is an indie, & falls prey to the vein of "Friends" giving 5 star reviews because they're "friends." None of those "friends" pointed out the many errors (such as "dying off" after a shower or a "cowl" on a face. FYI...a cowl is a monks hood).As I said, ok 1st draft & good PTSD analogy, but needs work.