Review: Let Me Tell You 'Bout the Birds and the Bees...
Rating: 4 out of 5
Date: 11 12, 2012
"Let me tell you 'bout the birds and the bees/And the flowers and the trees/And the moon up above/And a thing called love."Once again, I use song lyrics to introduce my book review. In this particular instance, I have quoted Jewel Akens's opening lyrics to his 1965 pop hit, "The Birds and the Bees." This catchy hummer of a tune coyly references romantic love between two people and the intricate social and sexual dance that accompanies any and all subsequent behavior involved.While professing one's most intimate feelings and passions to a prospective partner is admirable and wonderful, the inevitable sexual tension that arises during the courtship will need to be addressed. Obviously, if there was no physical attraction between the two aforementioned parties, there would be no impetus to pursue one another; nor would there be any motivation for being both emotionally vulnerable and investing the necessary time and energy into pursuing the affection and love of the other.Stephen Williams has anticipated these emotions and apprehensions and has compiled his responses into his title, "Super Sex: Bring Back the Excitement in Bed." Knowing that sex is a natural biological and physiological urge that humans possess, the author emphasizes that our internal passion for our partner can be channeled into wonderful, mind-blowing, outrageously delightful sex that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy---both partners will continue to want more from each other in bed, and any and all subsequent trysts will arise from previous positive, nurturing experiences.Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. It represents a couple's greatest challenge and, if not handled carefully, can cause a breakdown in all areas of the relationship. Communication relies upon honesty, tact, good listening skills, empathy, recognizing appropriate boundaries, and humor. (I'm sure there are more attributes; however, this is a decent list.) Williams is adamant that it is communication and great sex that are the keys to a healthy relationship; however, I would submit that great sex is a causal result borne out of good communication with one's partner.I am not aware if Williams has any professional degrees in psychology, but while previewing "Super Sex," he asserts that "(y)ou don't need a good psychologist and you don't need a relationship counselor" (ch. 1). While his personal experiences may certainly be valid and provide fodder for this statement, I would gently suggest that, even with the best of efforts and intentions, seeing a therapist or a certified sex counselor couldn't hurt, especially if, after reading the book, the relationship is having more valleys than peaks. It is important to remember that sexual relations are only one facet of a relationship, and that it is wise to practice improving all of its dimensions. (As an aside, I am a firm believer and proponent of counseling, both on an individual and couples basis.)"Super Sex" provides Williams's devoted legion of fans with solid suggestions for spicing up a moribund sex life. Certain ascertations notwithstanding, this is a decent read and can only help those of us who seek self-improvement, and self-confidence, in the process.