Review: Good Story, Needs Work (Editor's Review)
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 08 14, 2013
I really enjoyed the story, but the writing is a bit of a problem. The author is very comma-happy and tends to insert them randomly in the middle of sentences. Quite a few grammatical issues, as well. Needs a good editor or three.Plot progression is solid, though exposition is weak in places, particularly the very beginning and the very end. The author also forgets to tie up loose ends on the main subplot, which is disappointing. I really enjoyed the fantasy tangent about halfway through--it melded perfectly with the rest of the story. Well done. Good characterization. Subplots get a bit messy; the author seems to struggle a little bit to keep it all organized and keep track of everything, but that's a common issue.Overall, the major problems could be fixed with a line editor and a developmental editor, and possibly some work with a writing consultant to help with some bad habits.The story is excellent, so I plan on trying further works by this author to see if the writing improves to match the story composition.