Review: From Red Adept Reviews: The Huntsman's Tale
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 08 5, 2011
(I "purchased" a free copy of this book from another site by using a coupon code provided by the writer on a message board.)Overall: 3 starsPlot/Storyline: 4 StarsI love fairy tales, and reworking of fairy tales, and stories in the style of fairy tales. (Believe it or not, after using "fairy tales" three times in a row, I will comment later on that the author is too repetitious.) This is why I was drawn in by the description and why I was charmed by the overall story. My issues come down to writing style and editing, and the general sense that this story wasn't quite ready for prime time.While the overall story is good, I didn't feel it was always told in the best way possible. For instance, the ending could have packed a real emotional punch -- but didn't quite get there.I liked what the author did with the story and the angle of telling a familiar tale from a different perspective. When I think of the actual story, I like! There's a good imagination here and this is a pretty good story in need of polish. If you're not a fan of this sort of tale, this will probably not be the one to win you over. If you ARE a fan, you will probably find a moment of two to take away with you.Characters: 3 starsI have to say there are some inconsistency at work. The main character was an indifferent father and husband, until he needed to be otherwise for plot reasons, and so what should be some painful moments felt watered down. We're told that Vala is capable of horrible things -- but we don't see them until later on -- not even told about them. Although there is perhaps an implication... Well, unless we count infidelity, but that's a pretty far cry from the rest. I felt sorry for Gaard's plight from a distance, instead of understanding him and feeling fully engaged. A lot of this story rested on ideas of morality, but I remain unclear where he stood for most of this tale, because his values seemed to shift from paragraph to paragraph.Writing Style: 2 1/2 starsThe tone seemed uneven. Sometimes Gaard sounded like a character in a fairytale and other times the words seemed discordant, too modern. (Exceptional eye-hand coordination?) I was left wondering if the story was set in "once upon a time" or in modern days, but the remote Black Forest setting made it seem set in the past.There turned out to be a reason for this, and I think the reason was somewhat clever, but you have to read the whole story distracted by this to get to the, "Oh, right, I see." Even the explanation makes some of the word choices still quite odd for his place in the world.Words were sometimes repeated unnecessarily and to distraction.Example: (Italics are mine.) I awoke instead to the sound of a sleigh whooshing across the snow. I jerked awake, and spotted the sleigh in the distance. An elaborate gold gilted sleigh that could only belong to the king. Fearing for both myself and my family, I tried to hide but it was too late. The sleigh was moving purposefully in my direction.  (The first sentence of the next paragraph also included the "s" word.)I also believe the author meant "gilded" instead of "gilted," but it's redundant in any case when combined with gold.Fairy tales get away with a little more telling than showing. They tend to cover a lot of ground fairly quickly, and so I find I must be lenient here. Still, there were moments I really would have liked to see fleshed out.I felt that the author had quite good instincts, but was, perhaps, simply a bit inexperienced. I'd enjoy seeing future efforts by Shiromi Arserio, because I believe time will bring good things!Editing: 2 1/2 starsWhen a story is told in first person, it's sometimes hard to determine the difference between the character's voice and genuine mistakes. However, the reason allowing for the occasionally anachronistic language would indicate the main character would know the different. If I had to guess, I would say most of the questions I had were issues that should have been removed in the editing process rather than the vernacular of the character. Even giving full benefit of the doubt, I was distracted by the genuine errors, e.g., missing punctuation and unintentionally duplicated words.