Review: Jayed... Over and over again...
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 01 11, 2014
Jayed [jeh-ed] (verb) – being sucker punched in the gut with strong emotions that seem to come out of nowhere when reading a Jay McLean book.I came up with the phrase Jayed while reading the emotional rollercoaster that is More Than Her. I didn’t know what to expect when it came to Logan’s story, but I don’t think it was this. More Than Her was an angsty, powerful story about falling in love and regrets. Yeah, those two don’t mix well. At all. The way the story was set up was unique and I loved the dual POVs as usual. Logan and Amanda are full of surprises, and they are some of the most complex characters I have ever met. I didn’t expect there to be such dark aspects in MTHer. Like I said. Jayed. Over and over again. It’s overwhelming in feels, one moment you’re swooning on Cloud Logan, next you’re on the ground, rocking back and forth in the corner. Is that normal? I guess for a Jay McLean book it is. MTher is different from More Than This that’s for sure, but all the real-ness and hardcore feelings are the same.“And that’s how we stayed. In each other’s arms, holding on to this night.I didn’t want to let go. Ever.Maybe it was too soon. Maybe it was too intimate. Maybe it was too perfect.”MTHer mostly takes place after More Than This. But the cool part is that a lot of the parts overlap. So, the first half of the story is alternating between the present (college) and the past (high school when Logan and Amanda first meet and their story begins). It could have easily ended in a disaster, however, Jay put enough work into the transitions to where it didn’t seem awkward. I liked the whole flashback setup. The tension and the angst really builds because of it, and we all know I love angst.“I’ve never had this problem…I’ve never felt like this…It’s all you, Amanda. Just you.”I can’t say much about the plot without spoiling the entire thing. I’ll just say that MTHer is more than just a “playboy meets his match and falls in love” type of story. This story broke my heart more than it didn’t, and I never thought I could love a book that tortured me so much. Like I said before, Logan and Amanda are complicated. They’re young. They make mistakes. They try to push things under the rug. They try to move on and live life day by day. They try to protect their feelings, yet they fall for each other anyway. You can’t not fall in love with them. They’re just so real and relatable to me.“The worst part is that you and me – we could have been amazing. We could have had it all, Logan. Everything. And you f***ed it up.”I want Logan Matthews. That’s all there really is to say about him. He’s hilarious and he puts up this a**hole front, but on the inside lies the sweetest, most thoughtful guy. And deep inside lies the scared little boy from his childhood. My heart was on a constant loop breaking, mending, and melting while reading MTHer and it was mostly because of Logan. He internalizes everything. It’s frustrating, but yet so understandable. He’s been through so much, and he never really let go of the monsters that haunt him. In the end, we know that he has to let go of his past before he can really give himself to Amanda, and I definitely look forward to seeing him take that last leap. His journey is painful and heart-warming.“You do that a lot…Kiss my wrist – you do that a lot – why?”“I don’t know. It’s like my lips – on your pulse. I can feel your heart beating and know that you’re here. I guess sometimes I find it hard to believe that you’re real – and you’re mine.”Since I’m in love with Logan, it only makes sense that I’m in love with Amanda too. Amanda is his perfect female counterpart, his other half, his “person”. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a heroine cuss as much as she does. I love it. It makes her that much more loveable. Like Logan, Amanda has her haunting past. I really wanted to hug and protect her a lot of the time, even from Logan sometimes. She is so strong, and when she doesn’t see that in herself it makes me want to punch her in the face. But, she’s only human, she has insecurities, and she’s young and in love. She too has some growing up to do, she has to let go of the past.“You and me. We’re going to make new memories. Ones that you aren’t afraid of. And it’s going to be amazing.”I can’t even describe how I felt after reading this book. If you haven’t been able to tell, I have difficulty describing how much I love MTHer period. It’s hard to explain how much this book makes you FEEL. How much Jay makes me feel through her writing. Because honestly, I read. A ton. And to find a book that’s so utterly unique and puts you through the wringer as this one, it makes an impact. It reminds me of why I read. To feel. And that’s all the More series really does to me, It makes me hope, cry, laugh, yell, and fall in love. With that being said, I guess I should warn you about the ending. I mentally blocked it from my mind until I can get my hands on MTHim. That’s right, after all that craziness, Logan and Amanda’s story still isn’t finished. And that’s a good thing. I think.“I want you to want me. I want you to need me. I want you to f***ing choose me. I want you to fight for me. You have to fight for me, Logan! You can’t walk away. Not again. You have to choose me. You have to f***ing choose me. Please Logan. You just have to.”