Review: A Painful but Necessary Journey
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 12 23, 2013
Let me start off with the hard words before moving on. This book needs editing. It's raw, with usage and punctuation errors. If it were a novel, I would have taken a star for that. But I did not. Why? Because the message of the book is one that people simply need to hear. Nonetheless, I urge the writer to have someone, at least a trusted friend with a good grasp of proofreading, go over it and clean it up. People will fuss if the editing isn't up to par, and then the message gets lost.Okay, lecture over. On to the good stuff. Yes, much has been written on this subject over the years. But still the problem continues. Because of the writer herself, I believe this work is uniquely special. The writer is one who survived years of every kind of abuse imaginable, and yet she is a kind, friendly, outgoing person who is not bitter. She has made the choice. Abuse is about them. Not about her. And she will not be a victim any longer. This is a vital message. You can choose. No matter how bad it is, you can choose. I wish I'd had this book years ago, when I was in the midst of my own abusive marriage. Thankfully that's in the past.Often people say, "if a man hits me, I'm out of there." or "Why doesn't she just leave?" These people can't imagine the careful, subtle steps an abuser takes to enslave his victim's will. By the time the abuse begins, the victim genuinely believes he or she deserves it. That's one important fact the book focuses on. How victimization is a self-perpetuating cycle. You are downtrodden and oppressed, so when the fists fly, you believe you deserve it. So you try harder, and fail. Because it was never about you anyway. It's about the abuser and his or her rage. Success cannot be achieved. So you are punished again for that abuser's rage, and you feel even more worthless.I won't lie. This is a hard, painful read. But I'm glad I read it. It taught me things about myself I've been suppressing for a long time. It also showed me I'm not alone. Rebecca is safe now, and so am I. If you are not safe, make a choice to get safe. If you don't know how, if you no longer believe in your worth, read this book. You are precious and valuable. Abuse does not determine your worth. Then be strong and get safe.If you know someone who is being abused, speak out. Help. It's really hard to get free without support. You might just save a life.