Review: Good story line but couldn't finish
Rating: 1 out of 5
Date: 06 22, 2014
This story had some potential, and I wish I'd read all of the reviews.The writing was high school level at best. The editing was atrocious: third person past  jumping to third person present tense; badly written dialogue; badly written narrative; typos...I could go on, but I only got about 20 percent into the book.Note to author: You have what could be a pretty good story here, but your manuscript needs a complete rewrite. You need to decide how you're going to tell the story, - third person present, third person past, one or the other, but not both. As written, the reader will come away with mental whiplash. People use contractions and slang in everyday speech. Men have different speech patterns than women. If you're going to write MC fiction, you'd do well to develop a relationship with an MC (there are a lot of them on Facebook) and ask either the members or their ol' ladies to beta your manuscript; it can only help.I strongly recommend that you  consider a complete revision on this story.