Review: Needs Work
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 08 25, 2011
I couldn't turn off my inner critic with this one. I had flashbacks to my days visiting an online writing and critique group the entire time I was reading it.Perhaps Ms. Devoti had a handful of critique partners read this story, but I think it could use another round. Areas of the storyline were rushed or thin. The final scene of fighting and action needed help. Sections of it I could visualize and others left me scratching my head.The storyline works well for novella length. The concept and conflicts are interesting. It's just odd things that had me cringing and reaching for a red pen. Other reviewers commented that they wanted it to be longer. I'd like it to be better.It deserves a good shakedown.