Review: Needs Editing
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 12 23, 2013
Good story premise but reads more like a preliminary story outline than the finished product.  The first 25% is narrated info dump, where the author 'tells' us the back story and about the characters with almost no actual dialog whatsoever.  Towards the half way point the story picks up steam, unfortunately not particularly well executed...plot heavy into stereotypes, cliche, PC, and mean people (esp anti-gay family members). Timeline skips around at random times, seemingly without rhyme or reason...difficult to figure out why the author included one event then obviously skipped over others?  As a reader, I'm not convinced the author is familiar with the subject matter - parts seemed unlikely/unbelievable and others cringe-worthy.  Definitely has potential, but I'd suggest an editor and peer mentoring would be very beneficial.