Review: So glad I read it, so well written. Beautiful.
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 06 5, 2014
This book came highly recommended to me through a memoirs group. I held off reading it for a while though-I thought it would be all sad, doom and gloom and sort of 'didn't want to go there' and think that maybe one day I could be in the same situation-but the fact is, it happens so much-it really could be me and you and you etc as Jill says in the book. It's not just about Jill's mum's illness, it's really a family portrait; memories, even Jill's memories playing as a child. It tells of her father's death and the aftermath-her and her brother picking up the pieces. She also tells of her own failing marriage. The title does read as though it is her mum's story but really it's Jill's memoir, all her marriage difficulties are there, husband's infidelity, birth of her son, it all makes interesting reading. An unexpected moment made me smile: a mean relative, trouble-causer-Jill called him 'this reptile'-so there's sometimes comical interludes such as this. They hadn't known that their dad had been married before Joan until someone sent an anonymous letter. This book also tells of her brush with breast cancer-thankfully, the lump was found to be benign. So difficult to see all these changes in a parent or someone you know. I have had neighbours and friends' relatives who have experienced things very similar to this-it's such an accurate portrayal of the progression of this disease and must have been very difficult for Jill to write. It's awful how on yearly family holidays, Jill's husband treats her well and is the model husband-just for show, it really messes with her head, she almost falls in love with him all over again-then when they return home, it's back to the no contact/no conversing yet they are under the same roof. So this book also tells of Jill's marriage breakup and getting her confidence and her life back. Things aren't all they should be at the care home so Jill makes the decision to remove Joan and care for her herself. There are many obstacles in the way with social services eg. with them not being able to provide essential equipment. They couldn't even let her have a hospital bed on loan, she had to buy this expensive item. It feels wrong to say this book is good when it's about such difficult circumstances, but it just is. Surprising happenings with Jill's marriage and it's end-such rich detail-it kept me glued to the page-the way she puts it over to the reader, it's just so brilliantly done. A faultless book, so glad I read it. So well written, moving and memorable.