Review: Not at all what I expected - and I mean that in a great way
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 06 15, 2013
So. I read this as part of a Read and Review, purely because the title is certainly attention-grabbing, the cover is outrageous, and who can resist the in-your-face tagline: When you're patriotic enough to become a whore, is it still possible to ever believe in love? I mean, really. The whole package had me crying with laughter - but admittedly, I was dying to find out what was actually under the cover. So job well done. Your pitch works.And now that I've finished it, this is me being brave enough to admit that...yes, I loved this. I really did.Basically, the structure of this book is a shocking introduction told with the driest humour imaginable - followed by a flashback to the story of how our plucky narrator Blaire came to be in the position she is - finally ending with the single most random epilogue I have ever come across.The first 60% of the book is not what you might expect from the title (or even the opening scene). Blaire is being taught the art of seduction by her mentor Mr Lucky (I'm not joking). As many people here have said, there is a surprising amount of psychology and human observation in this book, which I found fascinating and right-on. There's a great line in there when Mr Lucky says something to the effect of, 'You keep thinking this is about sex, but it's not.' And I think that sums up quite a lot of this book. You'd think, from the title and the cover, that this is going to be an orgiastic romp-fest - but it really isn't. (Until the end....)The thing you have to understand is that this book is genuinely well-written by an obviously intelligent author. I could not put it down, I read every line, I was laughing at every place I was meant to laugh at (and that was a lot - it's a VERY funny book, and not in a so-bad-it's-funny way, but on purpose laugh-out-loud hilarity). I found myself rooting for Blaire in everything she was learning to do. I was on her side during all the altercations and cat fights. I hated Sabrina, as if I were swept up in a high school drama instead of reading about CIA-trained whores (can't believe I just typed that). I learned some of the emotional lessons along with Blaire, because I made the mistake of getting attached to characters or being fooled into feeling like I was reading a love story, forgetting what the point really was.In that way, the characters were REALLY strong. And I'd say that even when things got obscene (no other way to describe it - though it only really happened maybe four times out of the whole novel, which surprised me), I still found myself reading. Why? Because Blaire is an immediately likeable narrator. She is hilarious, and no matter how hardcore things got, she always somehow found a way to make me laugh about it. Also, I'm surprised this is written by a man, because there was quite a lot of it that was believably female. I didn't feel like he fell into the trap of making all women out to be some nerd's dream woman who could never be real, nor did he sound patronising in any way. Blaire's lifestyle might be totally off my radar, but emotionally, she was surprisingly easy to relate to. The author somehow brought normal every-day social dynamics into a very extreme situation, which made the subject matter less foreign than you'd expect.I know people have criticised it for the text speak, but it wasn't so overwhelming that it made it unreadable. I followed it easily You can't write off a book for doing that. One of the greatest books I've ever read is half-written in thick Scottish dialect. That was MUCH harder to follow, but once I got my head round it, what was actually being said was incredible, and the dialect added to the characters and brought the whole story to life. In the same way, I think the text speak added to the book. It was Blaire's voice, it brought her to life as a character, and that's all good stuff. It's no different to an accent.When my Kindle told me there was only about 38 minutes left of reading time in the book, I actually felt disappointed. I wanted to keep reading more! This is the thing: it's outrageous, yes, I can't deny that. As I've said, it gets obscene in places, very true. But it was just so ENGROSSING! I think this book deserves more credit than it's getting. My ONLY critique would be:1) Sometimes the tense changed between past and present within paragraphs and that was confusing. It needs editing, in that respect, although all other editing was clean.2) I think the epilogue is extremely random and happens very suddenly and unsmoothly. I know the author is aiming to make us all want a sequel, but frankly, I already wanted one without that epilogue and would prefer to see a continuation with the relationships at the end of book 1 play out in book 2 and then if things go in certain directions (trying to avoid spoilers, here), I can be surprised by them in a naturally developing way. Besides, the last line of the chapter before the epilogue...hilarious. An excellent final line to the novel, if you ask me. And if a reader DOESN'T want more by the time they hit that line...it'll be because they don't like the subject matter or the way it's written, and that epilogue is not going to change that.That said, I for one...want to read on. I didn't expect it when I first opened this book, but yes, I want a sequel.Thank you to the author for sending me a free copy of the book in exchange for an honest review. Your book is totes AMAAAAAAZING. Srly. Let me know when the second one's done!