Review: The Horror, The Horror...
Rating: 4 out of 5
Date: 12 14, 2013
Even though I qualify as a female, I seem to lack that "love-to-shop" gene that many of my gender possess. The thought of a crowded mall at Christmas time makes me break out in reindeer-shaped hives. I always knew there were others out there who shared my opinion, so it's nice to have my fears justified by this book."It seems to me that when a person attempts to include the words “shopping” and “fun” in the same thought, they suffer from one of two afflictions. Either they are 1) The recent victim of a blunt force trauma to the head, Or 2) They lack a thesaurus on their bookshelf."Hester has been there. He knows the horror. From the terrifying battle for a parking space, to the agony of listening to the repeated yelps of George Michael singing "Last Christmas", he's done it."Black Friday wasn’t invented to give shoppers a jump start on the holiday season. It was created to let people experience what a prison riot felt like from the inside."Oh, and let's not forget the halls of dysentery known as the MALL FOOD COURT:"People who eat at the food court need to find the most direct route to the bathrooms. And fast. I’m no different. I just hope that the bathroom is cleaner than the food court."This is a fast read and a fun look at America's consumer culture.The only thing that disappointed me is that the author does not look like the grizzled crankypants on the cover.“Every time a cash register rings, a food court employee gets his Buffalo Wings.”