Review: A heart-wrenching, gut-busting, rollercoaster ride of a book, of which I loved every minute.
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 07 7, 2013
I'm kind of at a loss for words as to how to describe this book for you, but I'm going to give it a shot because, you know, it's what I'm here for. Don't Trust the Cut literally felt like riding a rollercoaster. You know the ones that start with the long climb to the really big hill that makes your stomach jump in your throat when you go down? Then you can kind of relax a little and have fun while you go over all the smaller hills and switchbacks. This book was kind of like that, except in the second half, there was another hill that was twice as big as the first one, only you didn't see it coming. Even the title gives me the shivers now that I know what it means.I can't stress enough that you should give this book a try. That said, you're going need some comfort afterwards. Curl up with your favorite blanket, light some candles, pet your dog, because this book tackles some Heavy issues. I don't even really want to call it angst. It's more like damage. If you ever read Chase in Shadow by Amy Lane--those kinds of issues. I'm pretty sure I even liked this one better, though I adore Ms. Lane.Don't Trust the Cut is a love story between two men who are mostly broken, and are nowhere near being ready for a relationship--even though one of them already is...sort of. Let me explain: the two main characters are Jesse, a Marine who was injured Iraq and forced into an early retirement; and Tucker, a shy guy who is returning from a "vacation" in "Canada." Can you see the air quotes? Because I'm making them. The two guys meet at a welcome home party their mutual friends throw for them.Jesse is actually in a relationship with a woman, Miranda, and has been for six years. Supposedly they got into it so that Miranda's parents would get off her back, and so Jesse could hide from `Don't Ask, Don't Tell.' I understood Jesse's reasoning behind this relationship, but we never quite learn enough about Miranda's background to understand why she she stuck with such an arrangement for six years. When the story picks up, Miranda begins to try and stake her claim on Jesse and get him to marry her. However, when Jesse meets Tucker, they have an instant chemistry that he can't deny. They share a secret kiss at the party, after which Tucker freaks out for a reason unbeknownst to Jesse, and runs away.A year later, they meet again in a chance encounter, and Jesse asks Tucker to hang out `as friends.' Over time, they get closer as friends, but neither could deny their growing attraction. Yet Jesse still stubbornly stays with Miranda. The thing I did like about this dynamic, though, was that while Jesse was deep in the closet, he never lied to himself or tried to convince Tucker that he was straight. Even though he was living a lie, he still admitted to himself that he had always been gay.When he can no longer deny having something with Tucker, Jesse breaks up with Miranda, although he allows her to continue saying they are together. It seems amicable enough, but we find out later that it's not so much on Miranda's part.While I didn't care for Miranda--and I really don't think I was meant to--this book had wonderful characterization. I especially loved Tucker's best friend Alison. A lot of m/m romances have the token straight female roommate/bestie, who rarely adds to the story and leans toward the stereotypical. But Alison was too fricking hilarious to ignore."And why do we have to keep feeding you, Marmaduke? It's expensive, taking care of such a big dog." [Alison talking about Jesse]Jesse and Tucker both struggle with the relationship for different reasons. Jesse isn't ready to come out because he worries about his mother's opinion--she basically says she'd rather him be a cheating bastard than gay--and the opinions of his friends from the Marines. He feels that he had to step in as the head of the family when his father left, and that he had a duty to get married and have a family. He still feels the need to do these things, but he wants to do right by Tucker.Tucker has his own very serious issues that shaped the person he is at the start of the story. He's too terrified and ashamed to tell Jesse, and that insecurity is part of what is wrong in the first place. Jesse finds out by accident and, let's just say all hell breaks loose. Jesse can't help but be angry that Tucker withheld the truth, especially after Jesse was forced to come out to his mother and his friends. Tucker and Jesse separate for a time, each trying to do what's best for the other one and both missing the mark. Mainly, Tucker is his own worst enemy. All I'll say is that he has a mental illness. If you want to know more about what is actually wrong with Tucker, click on the spoiler cut.[Visit the original review ([...] to view spoiler content.]I was glad that Jesse and Tucker did not just jump back in their relationship after all of the misunderstandings were cleared up. They had a lot of work to do together to get them both right with themselves.I have to say, I love Kade Boehme's voice in this book. As I said before, this is the first one of his I've read, so I can't speak to consistency, but I will definitely be coming back for more. His prose is almost poetic, but not in such a way that pulls you out of the narrative. I think I have more notes and highlights in this book than any other one I've read since I've been using an eReader. There were just so many quotes that I wanted to save. And good lord the love scenes were hot, but romantic as well. Each one advanced the plot, which is a mark of a good romance. There was every element I love in a good sex scene--not that I'm going to tell you what those are. It was perfect to balance all of the heavy stuff the characters had to deal with.Admittedly, I thought the beginning of this book started off a little slow at the beginning, until I began to understand that that was the nature of Tucker and Jesse's relationship. But it built up steam and just kept on pounding, until finally the reader gets her reward for going through all the pain along with these men. The HEA was amazing and perfect, and it was beyond worth it. This is one that will stick with me for a long, long time.