Review: Another one for the editor
Rating: 1 out of 5
Date: 08 25, 2010
I've been indulging in quite a few indie books lately.  Sometimes there's a gem.  Sadly, this is not one of them.The premise of Daughter of Deception is promising, and I was looking forward to discovering the different types of demons as Duke and Viola hunted.  I was unable to finish the book for a few reasons.1.  Like so many indie books, the lack of effective editing made it nearly unreadable.  I'm not saying responsibility doesn't lie with the author, but when you have an untried writer, a good editor makes all the difference.  Thorpe had many errors in tense, which became worse further into the book.  A sentence that made it past the copy editor: "Viola shifted her grip on the knife's hilt, fights fought a wave of nausea..." makes it obvious the author struggled with tense.2.  Her characters were inconsistent, so it was difficult to pick out motivations.  Viola expends a great deal of effort to get back in the Network, then quits after her first job?  She starts out self-assured and sharp, but quickly becomes something of a mess.  I wondered where the interesting heroine portrayed in the sample went.3.  Brief, unwarranted shifts in point of view were disorienting.  It really doesn't matter that much what Olivia thinks when on the phone with Viola.  Just stick with Viola.  Omniscience almost never works.Thorpe absolutely shows promise.  She has imagination that will serve her well down the road.  In the meantime, she needs to spend a whole heck of a lot of time in critique groups, getting her house in order before she publishes again.