Review: Needs work
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 05 4, 2014
While it's a good story, it needs work. With more work, it will be more believable. I personally like to 'lose myself' in the story, and it's rather hard when it comes across as fake. I love the plot. It's only certain parts that make it not quite so good. Rewrite it, and make a good story into a great story. If you do, I'd love to read it again.