Review: 4.5 stars. A deeply emotional historical romance
Rating: 4 out of 5
Date: 08 4, 2011
4.5 stars.I like historical romance very much and this story was deeply emotional.Rudolph and Mathias have become lovers during the war. They don't want the army to find out they are lovers, so they decide to take part in their last battle and then resign their commission and run away together, even if this will probably be deemed disgraceful by their peers.After resigning, Mathias goes to Rudolph's tent and discovers his lover was injured during the battle and lost two years of his memories. Suddenly Mathias is without a job, socially ruined, and without his love. His devotion to Rudolph makes him decide to help him get home, even if staying close to him and not being remembered makes him suffer. But the worst is yet to come: it seems the only vivid memory Rudolph retains is of a misterious handsome man who was his lover in Berlin and whom he's looking forward to seeing when he gets back.This story was full of heartache and angst and I couldn't put it down.Rudolph comes from a wealthy family and everything, from his skills as a rider to his skill as an officer - seems to come easy to him. His social position keeps him above scandal. It's like everyone knows he prefers men, but his weakness is treated with indulgence. He has a lovely wife and children and he keeps them safe away in the country, while he is keeping a male lover in the city. He doesn't feel guilt for this situation, nor it's embarrassing to him. It's just the way things are.Mathias, on the contrary, is of more humble origins. He had to work hard to achieve his position in the army. Their relationship starts on an even ground, but I think Rudolph's personality is the strongest of the two, or maybe it's just Mathias thinking that he's dependable. The different social classes they come from become an obstacle in Mathias' mind when he sees Rudolph in Berlin. He understands that he doesn't only have to fight against another man, but he also has to find a way to fit in Rudolph's world. His natural generosity is not enough to make him stay at Rudolph's side, while the other man wants to be in the arms of his old lover.This part of the story is truly heartbreaking. I almost hated Rudolph for the easeness with which he fell back to his old ways, even if his amnesia was responsible for it, but there was a carelessness in Rudolph's behavior that I think was truly part of the character. Seeing Mathias trying to lead a new life far from his only true love, accepting a job that tired him physically, - but then looking for a resemblance of Rudolph once in a while - made me hurt for him. I felt that Mathias was the only character who was being true, while the hypocrisy of Rudolph's world seemed to envelop the man himself. I found it truly fascinating to try to recognize what belonged to the real Rudolph, what to the social Rudolph and what to the injured Rudolph.It was a bit difficult for me to really get into the book. It was as if the beginning was clunky, I didn't feel eased into the story and I had to go back and re-read the first pages, but it was probably because the book begins in medias res, but when I got in the right frame of mind it was a pleasure to read.Galley received via NetGalley, courtesy of the publisher.