Review: Simplistic but full of grammatical errors
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 07 16, 2014
This was an okay story, nothing really revolutionary about it though. It followed the basic guidelines of writing a story and it read like an assignment from Creative Writing 101.I felt like all the descriptions of military manoeuvres was over done and it should have contained more emotions that Jake was going through. I thought that having William's viewpoint included would have been much better than just a constant list of Jake's insecurities and his inconsistent conflict with the protagonist, Jared.The best part was when I thought they were going to get caught during War Games, that was suspenseful. And I thought Jared mentioning that the Leaders putting William and Jake together was their version of a love match was interesting. There was something there that should have been explored, it could have turned this story into a book with a genuine concept behind it.Other than that this story felt generic and with all the grammatical errors it was just okay.