Review: Not a bad start, but needs editing...
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 08 23, 2012
Alright. First off, I liked this book. A lot. When I pick up a great book, time disappears, the world fades away, and I lose myself completely...to the point that my husband wonders where I am and why I'm quiet for hours on end. Seriously. Eternal Eden was almost one of those books for me, but it didn't quite make it. My biggest gripe? It needed editing - pretty badly. I keep reading these books which have huge potential and great story lines, but they are in desperate need of an editor. A misspelling here, an analogy nightmare there, a grammar disaster over there.... For the love of God, people! A lot of the books I am referring to are self-published and I know that I may not always be reading the most polished product, but it's getting to me more and more.Now that I'm done with that little tirade... Let's get to it, shall we?It's a love story, obviously, and our two main characters, Bryn and William, are very much like Bella and Edward from Twilight. So much so that at times it felt like I was reading their (Bella and Edward's) story all over again with slight variations. However, I enjoyed Twilight, I'm a sucker for the star-crossed lovers theme, and the author served up a new twist on immortality which offered enough of a difference from the aforementioned book to hold on to the comparison for too long. I genuinely liked Bryn and William separately. I liked them together too and I was rooting for them the whole time, but I have to agree with other readers who commented on the sickly sweet dialogue and individual commentary that seemed never-ending and completely redundant. We get the point... he loves her, she loves him, she thinks she's not worthy, he's in disbelief that he found her and she loves him back... we don't need to be beaten over the head with it. I found myself skipping ahead at times because it was just too much. That's gripe number two.Gripe number three has to do with unrealistic character shifts or lack thereof. Sometimes the emotional and psychological leaps made by these characters seemed sudden, drastic, and illogical (i.e. Bryn's overnight adoration and overwhelming love for William despite some major warning bells she simply ignored). On the other hand some characters, despite their intelligence, didn't make logical jumps when they should have. For example, Bryn's self-deprecation and complete lack of awareness that she is so 'special' when EVERYONE else in the book notices. This became annoying and frankly, detracted from the story for me. She's an intelligent girl. I found it hard to believe that even at the end of the book she had no understanding of why she kept receiving so much attention. This just made no sense to me.Finally, there are some literary hurtles you may have to overcome to get through this book. Here are some of the things I tried to accept, but had a difficult time doing so. It was hard to believe that Bryn had no friends. None at all. I get that she had been through a lot and was an introvert, but no friends? C'mon. Also, she lives in a dorm - no roomie? At one point, we're told about a cousin that she pushed out the way of an oncoming vehicle, which leads me to think she may have more family. So, if she does have more family and we accept that she's totally selfless, cares nothing of herself and only about helping/saving others how would she ever readily accept, without hesitation, the change that her life has taken after that fateful night on the beach?If this book had addressed some of the issues I mentioned above, I could easily have given it a four or five star rating, but as it is I feel like three stars is appropriate. I will be reading the next two books and am looking forward to seeing how Bryn and William's story unfolds.