Review: I like the premise
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 05 24, 2013
The premise was good, the humor very good..and the romance..WHAT? Ok, I know this is a mystery..but there really is no excuse for making your main character fall in love in like 14 seconds. Honestly, that was so unbelievable it made the rest of the story hard to get into. Also, is there any point where the main character was not completely always perfectly right or on time? It's like there was no real nail-biting or clue hunting needed..since it was all conveniently contrived to plop in the main characters lap each time. Need a way for the evil character to find the hiding main characters? Make hims conveniently the BF of a biker chick who just happens to know where they are hiding. Really? That's your brilliant solution to this? Oy. The story has a lot of underlying promise..but it needs to get grittier and more Private detective-esque (IE no simple solutions and taking the easy way out of the tight plot..trust me..it will make you a better writer)