Review: Alternate history it may be, but still a bit too fanciful
Rating: 1 out of 5
Date: 06 26, 2011
The basic set up - King Henry VIII didn't die, but went secretly into exile on a remote island along with William, a son he sired off of some maid or other. Seventeen years pass and then Henry decides to return to England and put William on the throne (!!!), but first there's this little problem of his daughter Elizabeth being queen and all...I'll not spoil, but what follows is some of the most preposterous nonsense I've come across since the incredibly direHeir Apparent, although at least that one was bad enough that it was actually funny. This is not. As some other reviewers have already noted this book is heavy on dialog (some rather bad), and rather light on the plot - and a very silly plot it is. I'll just leave this off with a few quotes so that you can decide for yourself whether or not it's worth your time.Queen Elizabeth:"She filled the space like a million bright lights and effortlessly wafted in front of the prisoners. Her dress seemed to be cast solid, never giving indication that legs worked to carry her across the floor."A verbal exchange between Elizabeth and her father:"Ah! You die! Most miserably and most horribly tomorrow. And the entire city of London shall hear you scream in pain. So be it, even if I have to operate the rackmaster myself. I will know no pity.""I will welcome the torture, and I will open my arms to death in all its magnificence. So say what you like. I care not if you end my life, and I care not if this man is subjected to the same end. Whore!"Our lovesick swain:"In the day, I long to be the sun spread in your lap, and in the night to be the dark that wraps you tight.""Her voice was absolutely majestic, sounding like an unearthly lark.""The virgin king," he whispered, his arms falling helplessly to the sides--his entire body was limp with the exception of one luxury. And his luxury remained unwavering."I won't spoil at that last one but I promise you your eyes will roll.