Review: OK story, elementary school writing skills
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 02 22, 2014
This is a fairy tale that the author tried to make into an epic. I enjoyed the first 60% of the story, but, from there, suspension of disbelief became increasingly difficult for me as the young heroine demonstrates the combined skills of a seasoned diplomat and attorney, and has more sense than anyone on the planet about how the Tornians should run their own world. The characters, while likable, lack the complexity needed to sustain interest for 300+ pages.In addition, I got tired of having to read sentences over to figure out their meaning. Eidem doesn't know the difference between too and to, their and there, and sometimes Tornio is spelled Torino. She doesn't know when to end one sentence and begin another, or when a comma is needed or isn't. I can overlook these types of errors when they don't interrupt the flow of a story but here, the reader is contantly yanked from the fantasy to decipher writing that doesn't make sense.I understand that a self-published writer may not be able to afford an editor, but a friend with a decent grasp of grammar could've been a big help.