Review: A potentially good story in desperate need of an editor
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 03 23, 2012
I always hate to give low ratings, but I am a firm believer in honesty. Anything less than an honest review is a disservice to potential readers and to the author.This story has grievous editing errors. Almost every single line of dialogue has incorrect punctuation. There were instances where a sentence would end with several exclamation points. Here is an example that highlights both of these issues:"You!" She said in a voice of recognition and warning, "Have you been following me?!!!!"This sort of thing happened so often that it made the story almost intolerable. The fact that an editor was given credit made the problem even worse. There is no excuse for this type of laziness, especially in a story that is less than twenty pages long. Yes, these things do matter if a book is meant to appeal to a large audience.Italics were used in excess. There were chunky paragraphs of 'info dumps' where we are told - rather than shown - action and information.I believe this story has potential, I wouldn't have even bothered to write a review if I believed otherwise. There are unique elements and some interesting characters. This looks to be part of a larger storyline and I might purchase the follow-up when it becomes available, but I will most definitely be looking at a sample before I buy to see if the editing has improved.