Review: A Heart Wrenching Story of Heartlessness
Rating: 4 out of 5
Date: 01 20, 2014
Review of {THE STRUGGLE FOR PROBANA: SHATTERED ADVANCES}, by {T.C. Squires}A comprehensive review by {John Adams Theibert Jr (The Kindle Book Review). “The Kindle Book Review received a free copy of this book for an independent, fair, and honest review. We are not associated with the author or Amazon.”}Review: {A Heart Wrenching Story of Heartlessness} [4] stars out of 5 stars/ ****- //(visual indication of stars) * = star - = no star/The Primary Elements: Idea, Plot, Characters, Setting, & ThemeThe Idea - hook and world: {The idea of the story was somewhat interesting.  The hook of the story took a while to develop but yet ultimately was successful.  The world of the story also took quite a while to develop yet ultimately was satisfying.}Stars for the idea: [0.5] stars out of 0.5 stars.The Plot - conflict and climax: {The plot of the story was somewhat haphazard and unbalanced.  There did not seem to be a clear conflict between an antagonist and the protagonist.  The climax was somewhat confusing and unfulfilling.}Stars for the plot: [0.0] stars out of 0.5 stars.The Characters - development and dimension: {The characters of the story were interesting and dynamic.  The characters seem to be well developed and have a good sense of relationships, backgrounds, and personalities.  The characters seem to have fully rounded dimensionally transformative characteristics that responded appropriately and dynamically to changing circumstances.}Stars for the characters: [0.5] stars out of 0.5 stars.The Setting - scenes and senses: {The setting was somewhat of a mixed bag.  The scenes of the story seemed hastily described and inadequately detailed.  However, the story utilized senses in an interesting way mostly for describing pain, discussed, or uncomfortableness.}Stars for the setting: [0.25] stars out of 0.5 stars.The Theme - lesson and epiphany: {The theme of the story seemed to deal with this senselessness of killing innocents during more.  The lesson of the story seemed to be: war cannot justify the killing of innocent people.  The story seemed to teeter on the edge of an epiphany but did not quite acquire one.}Stars for the theme: [0.25] stars out of 0.5 stars.Subtotal stars for the Primary Elements (rounding up), [2] stars out of 3 stars.The Secondary Elements: Style, Substance, Grammar, Essence, & Impression.The style - logic and pacing: {The style of the story seemed fairly consistent.  The story seemed to have quick and accurate logic.  The pacing of the story was fluid and well thought out.}Stars for the style: [0.5] stars out of 0.5 stars.The substance - skeleton and teeth: {The story seemed to have good solid substance.  There did not seem to be a lot of unnecessary information or fluff, meaning that the story had a good skeleton.  The story’s premise seemed to be controversial, summed up in the syllogism: killing innocents is senseless; war kills innocents; therefore war is senseless, meaning that the story had sharp teeth.}Stars for the substance: [0.5] stars out of 0.5 stars.The grammar - sentence structure and word usage: {The grammar of the story seemed to be hit and miss.  The following are some grammatical typographical errors that I found: (Kindle locations provided for the author.)Then you will have to continuing fighting for the privilege to keep living, (Kindle Location 2892)… an armed base with ten thousand solders, (Kindle Location 2210)I rush to door and feel the cool metal of the knob. (Kindle Locations 627-628)This war has ravaged the lands and wrecked most family to some extent. (Kindle Locations 592-593)Words are not be worth much. (Kindle Location 581)It’s so been hard.”(Kindle Location 245)I climb only find myself sliding further into the abyss that has opened below. (Kindle Locations 42-43)}Stars for grammar: [0.25] stars out of 0.5 stars.The essence - emotion and memory: {The essence of the story seemed fully immersive and consuming.  The story seemed to be full of emotion in that the main character was dripping with near constant anxiety and anguish.  The most memorable part of the story was the part of the fire in the house.}Stars for the essence: [0.5] stars out of 0.5 stars.The impression - opinion and talent: {My impression of the story is really good.  In my opinion the story could use a hefty rewrite to make it excellent, in which rewrite an antagonist should be drawn up to counterbalance the protagonist.  The author seems to have fairly good talent in describing a character’s tribulation.}Stars for the impression: [0.5] stars out of 0.5 stars.Subtotal stars for the Secondary Elements (rounding down) [2] stars out of 2 stars.Conclusion: {In conclusion this story seems to be missing some fairly important elements yet does not suffer severely because of the others being very well executed.  I believe the story would require a rather large edit in order to add an interesting and believable antagonist into the vacuum where none exists.  The protagonist was quite the method actor of this story, and truly carried it single-handedly which both benefited and detracted from the story.}Grand total stars for the story - primary elements and secondary elements: [4] stars out of 5 stars.