Review: Very Clear & Concise Directions to Living With A Narcissist!
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 03 11, 2014
This short book gives very clear and concise directions to Living with a narcissist.Just keep in mind that in order to actually have a decent relationship with someone narcissist, that you will have to be the adult dealing basically with a child, and you will have to learn to become manipulative in order to encourage them to be some kind of decent partner in the relationship. If you're willing to become that, and you're willing to live your life with a two-year old in an adult body, than (some) narcissists can be tolerable to live with.On the other hand, if you have to be pretty much the responsible person, 'traing' the other, and becoming a manipulative person in the process,  perhaps life would just be better getting a dog and training it. At least the love you'd get from the dog is genuine! But, most importantly, you wouldn't have to be playing narcissistic like mind games as is recommended in order to be in relationship with a narcissist. You can just be a real honest to goodness person. Or, you could leave your narcissistic spouse, and actually find another real honest to goodness person to be with, instead of twisting yourself around in knots to be with a narcissist.In my mind, the advice given in this book as well as other books as to how to still be in relationship with a narcissist, is just another form of 'walking on eggshells', in that you have to calculate everything you will say to them and reframe it in a way that may appeal to them, and 'just maybe' have them cooperate with you. It just seems you have to give up too much of who 'you are', and become much more like the narcissist. You really have to ask yourself, "If it's worth giving up that much of yourself in order to be with them? Do you really want to become like them in order to be able to be with them?"I do realise that sometimes your options are staying with a narcissist. But, if you're young, have no children (and probably even if you do have children), and if there is any way out - just get out. Life is too short to spend playing these sorts of games that are required in order to live in (some kind) of harmony with a narcissist.