Review: This story *appears* to have potential, but...
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 01 12, 2014
I agree with other readers who said this story doesn't add anything new. Loose morals, murder as the answer to everyday problems, cussing and calling people out of their names...I'm not sure that this story hasn't been told 100s of times. It was also disappointing to read that the woman, a single mother of 3 teenage daughters, has a degree, a good job, but doesn't try to rise above her circumstances. Instead, it's another story about how disrespectful people can be towards one another.The characters are not well developed. For example, West appears to be a major character yet we don't know exactly what his relationship is to Pam. While the people in the story know the relationship the readers don't, so the author should weave it into his story line.There is a section in the story where the grandfather is brought into the scene and it appears that he didn't even know that someone had passed. Really? That's just not believable. BUT, it could also be that the conversation I'm referring to was between different people, but without a break between the conversations, the reader has to STOP and figure out what's going on and who the new characters are.Also, there's no editing, no chapters, and the author doesn't know basic English. It's okay to "speak" the way the author has the characters speak (broken or improper English, etc), but the story should be written in coherent English.You're is written your.Their is written there.Etc., etc.Some scenes switch between present and past tense from one sentence to the next, and this happens throughout the book.The issues I've described above are annoying. Even a BASIC edit would have made the story more readable. I HATE when I have to "edit" as I'm reading. That's not my job as a reader. It's a huge distraction from the story.It would be great if the author would revisit this book, fix the errors described in the comments (you have to take the bad criticism as well as the good criticism), and republish it.