Review: This memoir was only too real for me
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 08 28, 2012
I am not sure what caused me to look at this book to purchase. Amazon recommended it because of another book I looked into as well as many others. I knew only too well it was going to be a deep emotionally trying book yet I was drawn to it. I read the sample that Amazon provides and I still questioned why did I want to submit myself to the pain of reading the extremely painful experience Elsie had with her Step-father and her mother. But again I was drawn to the book and had to buy it. Why?Because I knew that I would see myself in this book. Even though I was not the victim of incest, I was married to a man very much like her step-dad. I was controlled with the same type of tactics that he controlled Elsie. I heard him say the same words my husband would tell me. Words to control my every move and cause me to doubt my own sanity. I tried to kill myself by taking a bottle of prescription pills but God stopped them from even dissolving in my stomach. I felt no effects from them at all. I did not try self-mutilation but I did try to hurt myself. My husband caused fear in me because of his explosive temper and physical abuse. Not just to me but our three sons as well. A short time after leaving him, having worked through some self-help books, I saw a Psychiatrist one time. He also had a ministers license so I felt it was safe to go to him. I had no intention of talking to him about my sexual experiences with my husband and how much I hated those times but it just poured from my mouth. I spoke for 40 minutes about these pent up feelings and fears. He in five minutes told me that my husband had continually raped me and my concerns that he was unfaithful were probably true. That was a revelation that was horrifying and liberating at the same time.As Elsie tried to put her life back together I could so relate with her emotions. Her situation was worse then mine but very similar in many ways. God gave me the strength to withstand the difficulties and then mercy and grace to help me heal. He put people in my path that helped me restore my self-esteem. Just as Elsie had to work through the years of abuse and being a victim so did I. God is so good.At the very end of the book when Elsie went to the Psychologist and he diagnosed her step-dads problems I burst into tears as God has shown me that these were my husbands same issues. He described my husband exactly with diagnosis of an antisocial/sociopath combined with narcissistic personality disorder. In describing the features of these disorders he described my husband to a tee. Again God confirmed what I dealt with and the need to forgive (not forget) and move on with my life which I did. Elsie and I must be close to the same age although I am probably a few years older. She was around 42 or 43 when she got her step-dad out of her life and I was 45. I left my husband the day after my first grandchild was born. Our youngest son was to be married in a few months. God told me without a doubt it was time to leave. It has been 19 years of what I call being out of prison and just like Elsie I have a full and wonderful life with my sons and my grandchildren, living for God and loving life. I have not dated but one marriage was enough for me. I am happy and living a full life.I am so glad we never had any girls. We had three sons. I always wondered if he would have sexually abused a daughter and now I am sure he could have and would have justified it as right in his mind. Thank you God for protecting me from that.Elsie did a wonderful job writing this book. Expressing her emotions and pent up feelings as she went through her tragic life. I am so impressed with her ability to describe her thoughts and fears. I hope this book will help others get out of the pit they are in. I know I could not put it down. I started it yesterday morning and finished it at 4:30 am this morning. Then I sobbed and sobbed. It was all so real to me and confirmed my own life's events. Later I too was diagnosed with PTSD and was put on antidepressants. I can honestly say that like Elsie my experiences have made me strong and has given me the incite to also help others.Thank you Elsie for being willing to share your life with others so that they too might have the strength to fight for themselves and then the fortitude to heal a little at a time.