Review: It's .....well, it's not that good but it has potential
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 07 17, 2013
Free book from amazon.  More 2.5 stars and I am trying to be constructive in my criticism, because this is clearly a new writer.The GoodThe premise is decent, the characters, as sketched out here, have good potential.  And um.....did I mention it was free?The BadGrammatical errors and typos are common in self-pubs, so I take that with a grain of salt with any new author.  In this book, however, they were particularly bad and made reading it difficult.  There is a desperate need for an editor to help with this story, if the desire is to continue on with a series.The storytelling is very stilted.  The H/h have an insta-love and not enough of an exploration as to how they came to fall in love, which made believing in the instant attraction impossible for me.  One moment they are having a ONS (virginal 25 y.o. suddenly felt like giving it up to a stranger, no matter how hot he is is stretching the bounds of believability), the next they are making blanket statements about the amazingness of their night together with no development.  For a moment, I thought there would be scenes where they ran into each other around town, as a way to play out the fallout of this ONS.  Instead, their next encounter happens very quickly with no build-up.  And then it became all about "he/she is the one."  I barely knew the characters, and hence, I really didn't believe they knew anything about each other.To compound the problem, I would have expected a more stream-of-consciousness dialogue, however it comes off as much more stiff and stilted.  There's discrepancies in the storyline that take you out of the story and make your mind drift as you try to read, or at least it did to me.The Bottom LineDefinitely inspired by the rash of contemporary biker/military romances, this is a blend of both.  I happen to like military romances and biker romances, so I thought this would be right up my alley.  It just proves how hard it is to be a writer.  And the importance of a good editor to help with the process.Even if you have a good premise, it's all in the translation to the page, and this book simply falls short.