Review: I just don't believe it
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 05 29, 2014
*crickets* ... What was that? o.OI just read that? Really. I just did. I want my day and a half back. The blurb was promising, the beginning was perfectly balanced with history and present and then they met and it all went down the crapper and never came back.I don't mind reading a book about depraved sociopaths but the time frame, events and epilogue was ridiculous! It was unrealistic, unbelievable and just plain bad. The thing is, I think I could actually like this author because of her sense of humor but I just can't get behind this story as a complete body of work.The time frame of the story itself is let's say a week because 5 days sounds really bad. The epilogue ... I don't even know how much time later than was. Dimitri, the most used Russian name in literature, is a coward who kept running until his "girlfriend" and I say this loosely, helped him exact revenge. A revenge that I expected to contain much more build up and execution.This novel is an attempt at erotica masked as a mob themed romance. Columbia is more of a criminal than all the vile men in this novel, Sergei included, because I don't know how hard it is to find a wealthy recluse if you really want him dead and what Russian Bratva enforcer hides away and literally plays with his wounds for years, then run when his enemies get close? You feel safe Columbia? I beg you to reconsider! Also, where is the face off scene where you get closure and real information as to what happened to make your friend literally light you on fire?? o.OI won't even knock the insta-love, lust and everything else but make me believe it. These two could be the next Bonnie and Clyde but the conviction and delivery weren't up to standard. It was rushed and quite frankly annoying because it started off so well. With that ending also I can't understand all the queue of other novels in this series because it seemed like that was a wrap.The sex had BDSM elements but I wasn't interested. They weren't memorable or even sensual. Quite plain actually for a couple with an asphyxia fetish. Dimitri was quite vocal in his sexual needs but it still wasn't anything to write home about. The fact that they only knew each other a day didn't help either.There is a scene in this novel where Dimitri tries to explain an emotion to Columbia and he says that he might struggle to explain because his English isn't good. Listen here people! The man says one word in Russian throughout this entire novel and it's .... *drum roll please* ... Bratva -_-His English is better than most of the people I know and my first language is English. Not even a few broken sentences were placed to show his struggle and I initially thought that was fine because he did explain earlier that he had speech experts to help him in the past but then all of a sudden all that is forgotten as he explains himself in plain as day English. See what I mean? You have got to make me believe it Jaden!There are a few elements that did it for me though, like the fact that it was based in Canada. It's always good to leave the USA scene and I personally love Canada. It's one of my dream countries to live out my last days so I loved the time spent here. I've never been, so I can't confirm, but I loved the few culture details and hope they were accurate.I like the Columbia we got in the beginning who was the embodiment of an environmental activist regardless of her motives; the Dimitri before he was the literal "Beast" and even after when his paranoia was at it's prime. His concierge, who seems to be without a name, reminds me of an English butler and I wish we got to spend some more time with him because I love me some English butlers and he seems like a loyal, possibly hilarious one, if only we got the time.I will admit to liking this story in the beginning but it fell away as soon as they met and kept the same trajectory to the end. The chapters became repetitive, conversation was less and because we spent more time in both of their minds we had to read them recount the same sex scenes we read in the chapter before. It was rushed, heavily based with sex and the dark and twisted wasn't really dark and twisted. Their minds are crazy but their actions left me bored :(