Review: Let me count the ways I hated this book.
Rating: 1 out of 5
Date: 08 4, 2012
Let me count the (spoilery) ways I hated this book.1) Slut. I don't have a natural aversion to the word but even I have my limit. I got up to ten and then I just gave up. There might or might not have been more, but I'd rather not go back and check just how the main character thinks herself a slut for loving two men. Loving in this context references to the emotion, not the act--though, there were the acts too. Speaking of which...2) I've read my share of bad erotica; I really didn't need to add this one to the list. Neither did I need anything added to the list of bad words that simply rip me out of the story. There's already glorious, perfect, female, feminine, male, manhood,... and now there are juices. Shudders. No. Just no. Somehow King always managed to pick the words that made me cringe and want to lash out like an abused puppy. Rather than the sex scenes themselves, the promise of them was the only thing this book had going for itself. I simply don't understand the point of unexciting erotica.3) Must it be love--the emotion. All three have known each other since childhood but the ménage is a recent development, still they instantly start talking about love, deep emotional love. And where there's love and macho men, there's...4) Marriage. They've barely had their first threesome with all three present before the men--Tony I think it was--start talking about marriage. Legally Hailey can only marry one of them, but these men who are willingly embracing and initiating atypical relationship are stuck on the epitome of establishment. Of course there had to be a ring involved, of course.5) I mentioned macho men. Why? Because apart from their glued on professions, Mark and Tony are the same men. They're build the same, they look the same, they act the same, they even wear the same clothes. Also, for men in a threesome with one woman, they are quite touchy about the word gay. Or bi. It left me with the feeling that rather than creating two individual characters that could stand on their own, the author split her ideal man in two and made them star in a personal fantasy. Which leads me to...6) Hailey Sue. As in Mary Sue with a Jennifer Aniston comlex. She doesn't think herself pretty despite everyone--and I do mean EVERYONE--around her telling her how hot or beautiful she is. Isn't there anything about herself she likes? Normal, healthy people always find something about themselves they like. It could be anything from nails to earlobes, but there is something. Not with Hailey, and I do believe this personality trait didn't start with Daniel's abuse.7) The abusive ex is only mentioned in the beginning a couple of times, before he's promptly forgotten until the halfway point. I suspect this didn't happen because the author suddenly remembered she needed a plot, but because she was running out of ways to make hot ménage sex sound flat and insipid.8) There was some promise to the plot which initially kept me reading even when I was ready to throw my Kindle against the wall, but that too had a lacklustre ending. I never felt invested enough in the characters to feel the threat or the relief of the resolution.9) Although I was told repeatedly how badly everyone reacted and would react to the news about their arrangement, I didn't see it. Hailey's brother had a slight meltdown, but it more was about the fact that his best friend was dating his sister. Turning that into a plural didn't make that much of a difference. The same goes for the confrontation with the parents.10) Timejump? Really? That's your solution to the MC's fragile psychological condition.I give up.***I received a copy of this book from the publisher through NetGalley.***