Review: ~ Review by Optimist ♰King’s Wench♰
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 06 14, 2014
2 out of 5 StarsFor original review see The Prism Book Alliance Blog onlineHypothetical situation:  say you’re a hot, young twenty something guy, you get abducted by aliens who perform a surgical procedure on you without your consent and inject you with their DNA which will modify your internal organs so you can bear their young among other things and you can never go home again. What’s your reaction? If it’s something in the neighborhood of ‘make lemonade out of lemons’, this book is for you. STOP READING HERE. If your response is something along the lines of ‘WTF?!?!’, then we have much to discuss.Dale does put up a token fight, but its pitiful and short lived. I was so flabbergasted by this whole situation and his response to it. I mean, a couple days after his abduction he’s rushing off to console and comfort another abductee who’s having trouble with being abducted by aliens? And you’re going to “help” him? What? I thought you were fussy about being abducted and pretty much forced to have some young’uns? I get the whole ‘resistance is futile’, but these aliens are wimps. Seriously. Keyno is the moodiest freak show of a character since ‘Christian Grey’. If Dale says something even remotely passive aggressive Keyno’s does some weird alien/cat whine/whimper thing that hits Dale right in the feels and he’s immediately apologizing. Again, WHAT?!?! I swear, I think that alien DNA kickstarted a PPD (Pliant Personality Disorder-not a real disorder) in Dale. About a week into his stay on the ship he becomes a whiny, needy, clueless and insecure wife/husband/mate/chosen who is in constant need of his man’s protection??? I’m not going to say it again, but I’m thinking it.I’m really trying not to hold the whole MPREG thing against the author since I’m the idiot who saw dub-con, flailed and requested this book. Lesson learned. Nevertheless, I chose this book and it’s not the author’s fault that this idiot reviewer skimmed the blurb. Thankfully, Dale avoids getting knocked up in this one. However, the relationship between Dale and Keyno is M/F masquerading as M/M even if you subtract the MPREG. The entire story arc and relationship development is M/F from the crazy possessive alpha-hole male who carries around his wo/man, has weird mood swings and wants the little wo/man at home barefoot and pregnant. Dale occupies all his time lunching with his friends, looking at plants, magically solving everyone’s problems with his accidental bluntness, which everyone finds charming and making sure he’s home by the time his man gets off work. Frankly, if I wanted to read M/F I’d read M/F, but this type of story arc is precisely what annoys me so much about M/F. What is so appealing about taking two people who are so hot for each other that they’re swinging from the chandeliers 99% of the time to having them get hitched and within a blink s/he’s knocked up effectively ending the smokin’ hot monkey sex they were having? Does not compute.However, we should consider sending Dale to the Middle East. He could have that mess sorted out within a few minutes. Every single situation is handled dismissively, some of which are serious, life altering events and deserving of at least a modicum of gravity. Would that international relations were as easy as inviting ones enemy to have dinner at your house thereby ending a long-standing feud.Now, let’s talk about this harvesting program and its credibility. How can the Tar’Harians mate with all these different races? None rejected the transition? But all the women of these planets rejected? Why can the mates never go home again? If the end goal is re-populate the Tar’Harian race then after they’ve all bred their mates why do they have to stay forever and ever? And why keep harvesting? Seems like this harvesting is a never-ending process, but the aliens are really thoughtful and nice guys? o____OThe sexy times are really the only thing I found remotely stimulating, although I’m disappointed that the tail didn’t get put to more use. The chasing and knotting are in the medium heat range.What I had envisioned when I skimmed the blurb was something along the lines of what happened to Cam (Dark Space) during his Faceless captivity. I’m not comparing, but you say space and dub-con and that’s where my head went, so to say I was disappointed by the complete and utter lack of anything remotely dub-con would be an understatement.The ending seemed arbitrary. The writing is uninspired and overly reliant on cheesy dialogue which kept jerking me out of the story. However, it did illustrate just how much useless pop culture information I’ve accumulated over the years. Also, I feel like some of the dialogue/characterizations verge on prejudicial, but perhaps I’m being overly sensitive.I’ve read some of the other reviews and people have 4 and 5 starred this book. It wasn’t for me, but that doesn’t mean it’s not for you. If you like fluffy escapism that’s feel good and schmaltzy, you will love this. It required a little too much reality suspension for me. I reserve my reality suspension for SM and his porky fluffery.