Review: Know Thyself, Men
Rating: 4 out of 5
Date: 12 13, 2012
One of the greatest pieces of advice ever given is the admonishment "Know thyself."This valuable aphorism, thought to have originated in ancient Greece at the Temple of Apollo at Delphi, serves as a reminder to all of us that, before we can even begin to tackle the world's vexing problems, we should first focus upon ourselves, discern the messages that we receive, and apply what we have determined to be relevant to our existence on a consistent basis. When we are able to do so with regularity, we seem to be more aware of the environment around us; hence, we become much less obtuse in the process.But how often are we truly introspective? Is it possible that we avoid delving into our inner thoughts and feelings because to do so would be too uncomfortable?I would submit that, in order to grow and expand our personal horizons, it is incumbent upon us to identify and reflect upon our strengths and weaknesses. Knowing why we behave the way we do is but one important step towards improving our own humanity. We are able to think about the choices we make; the company we keep; the environment(s) in which we live; our personal philosophy and outlook; and even the diet we maintain.Culture, sex, and religion aside, such self-knowledge helps to break down potential mental and emotional barriers that inhibit our personal growth and allow us to live in a world of excuses and what-ifs.Of course, this is no easy task. It could be inferred by some that nothing worth having or achieving is ever easy. Ringo Starr even warbled a song about nothing coming easy and needing to pay your dues.When it comes to the age-old dance rituals performed by men and women, having said foresight is invaluable for both sides(unless someone likes being tapped on the shoulder and told to go sit down because their aforementioned routine was atrocious).Stephen Williams's "Women Secret: Be Interested to Learn the Opposite Sex" exemplifies the importance of not only knowing the kind of person we purport to be, but also provides a wake-up call for clueless men who simply refuse to adjust their learning patterns.Glancing at the title, I had to do a double-take---it made no grammatical sense whatsoever. Perhaps the author and/or his editor was in a rush to get the book published (which I believe to be the case here). (As an aside, while it is always a wonderful feeling to see your book in print, it is even more enjoyable to know that you did a thorough, professional editing job, which reduces the chances that there will be any recalls or returns.)Williams makes the observation that "(y)ou can't understand a woman, unless you are a woman yourself." (intro.) Well, duh. Most intelligent readers will ascertain that men and women think, act, and even love differently---which is not altogether a bad or wrong thing.This is where the insight than has been gleaned and learned over time can be applied.However, Williams does recover nicely with the assertion that "(m)ost men who have successful relationships take advice and explanations from a woman close to them." (intro.) Wiser words couldn't be stated more clearly---the intelligent man will realize that his dance partner wants to keep in step and rhythm, and that both of them need to work together in order to avoid stepping on each other's toes or bumping into other couples.Again, no one said it was going to be easy. If that were the case, there'd be no need for counseling, religion, or Jerry Springer."Secret" implores men to take responsibility for their actions with their partner, and admonishes them if they avoid any and all potential red flags that can surface at any time. The world of human relationships is rife with failures and false promises. Very seldom (or so it seems) does any couple make it through life without incurring some form of sadness, tragedy, frustration, or hopelessness.But does this necessarily imply failure?I would assert yes---but only if someone chooses to give up. From this writer's perspective, the concept of success is not so much how easily we attain our goals, but how well we deal with daily adversity. The concept of character, imbued within our collective psyche from a very young age, is either strengthened or allowed to atrophy, depending upon whether or not we choose to deal with life's inevitable problems that arise.Really, it's all about perspective. Some maintain an even keel about life's vicissitudes, whereas others crank up the drama to insufferable decibels. Williams studiously avoids the latter while acknowledging its presence, and urges the reader to focus upon the positives that drew them to their significant other in the first place.Ever notice that, like an annoying papercut or hangnail, it seems that it's the little things that tend to annoy us more so than, say, large, complex issues? I would hazard a guess and predict that most of us would be more frosted by someone with an overflowing shopping cart in the seven-items-or-less checkout lane than, say, the federal budget deficit.So why choose to let such annoyances ruin your evening? Is the situation so dire that a coronary is in order?Perhaps knowing ourselves involves knowing when to let go of trivia and other such minutiae. "Secret" stresses this approach, and its informative style ensures that both partners can dance to their hearts' content if only both sides---but men, in particular---know each others' strengths and weaknesses.