Review: You're Darn Tootin', No Gluten
Rating: 4 out of 5
Date: 01 9, 2013
Several years ago, I had the privilege of knowing a wonderful school administrator who was passionate about his job.His name was John. (For discretionary purposes, his last name will be omitted.) He was in charge of discipline at the high school where I held a long-term substitute teaching position.A large, burly man with a buzz cut and a soft-spoken demeanor, he patrolled the hallways every day without fail, keeping a watchful eye on the crowd and listening for signs of potential trouble above the boisterous din of hormone-crazy teenagers. He also was in charge of after-school detention, where his office was located. His room was usually packed to overflowing with students, many of whom had been relegated to his oversight due to poor classroom management on the part of many teachers, some of whom had silently abdicated their authority in the face of student apathy and intimidation.Despite the unpleasant nature of his job duties, John was close with staff and students alike---even with the ones who persistently graced his presence as soon as the final bell rang.To be sure, a couple of young weisenheimers had reached the point of in-school suspension, and one even was transferred out of the district for anti-social behavior. But by and large, very few dared challenge his authority.He did not teach classes per se. His primary job was to ensure a daily well-oiled administrative and academic dynamic that provided as efficient an output as could be expected from all parties. He stayed above personal and political agendas but was not averse to throwing down behind the scenes if the situation called for it.In sum, he was an example of an ideal teacher: passionate, dedicated, persistent, compassionate, and determined to see students succeed despite overwhelming odds.Then one day John stopped showing up for work, and no one seemed to know why.His mailbox became stuffed with interoffice memos to the point of overflowing. His phone messages piled up until his voice mail was saturated. Faculty members gossiped among themselves and debated the reasons why John had vanished from the face of the earth. Even the higher-ups in the administration were baffled. John's disappearance became the talk of the school, among staff and students alike. Even some parents expressed concern for John and wondered if he was really okay. His office remained vacant for nearly a week before a permanent substitute was hired to fill the remainder of the school year.It got to the point where a figurative APB was being issued.Then, via the grapevine, word leaked back to the school that John had been hospitalized for Crohn's disease.Crohn's is nasty.It's a hereditary genetic condition which affects the lower intestine and colon, and impacts the body's ability to absorb nutrients from certain foods, such as wheat, barley, corn, and other foodstuffs that contain gluten.Gluten is a protein that is found in breads and cereals, and is an allergen for some individuals. If they consume gluten, they become violently ill, are unable to metabolize food, and can end up in the hospital with their health severely compromised---even to the point of death.Fortunately, John had not reached the terminal stage. But he had lost a severe amount of weight and had to have surgery to remove part of his large intestine because the gluten had damaged it so badly. My then-wife and I visited him in the hospital and were shocked by his gaunt, pale physique---a sharp contrast from the robust, ruddy guy I had always known.Eventually he had to leave education altogether and take another job that was closer to his home. (I left teaching shortly thereafter too---the stress level was too much for me to handle.)This encounter with Crohn's disease made me realize that there are far too many people of all ages, shapes and sizes who need to watch what they eat, lest they end up being permanently attached to a colostomy bag.To that end, Stephen Williams has composed a book, "Gluten Free Diet: Eat Nice Food Without the Gluten," to help people manage and control their diet without consuming this insidious protein that makes their life a living hell."Gluten" educates the reader about recognizing specific foods that contain gluten, and offers suggestions for buying and preparing meals that eliminate the possibility of consuming gluten altogether. Williams stresses the importance of staying hypervigilant about maintaining a gluten-free diet, and adds that you don't have to suffer from Crohn's or ciliac disease in order to benefit from maintaining a healthy lifestyle that can impact you for the better.Eating gluten-free may mean changing your diet entirely, or it may imply just a few tweaks here and there in order to adjust to enjoying meals that won't land you on a hospital gurney. It doesn't mean that switching over will involve chowing down on cardboard and Clif bars.Despite information that can seem repetitive to those who have disciplined themselves in gluten-free ways, Williams writes with flair and panache and offers well-meaning advice to his readers.Granted, there are those who suffer from gluten intolerance who choose to overlook the health risks involved and will continue to indulge in Little Debbie snack cakes and Wheat Thins.As relatively educated, mature individuals, that's certainly their choice. However, they may have to suffer a bout or two of gut-searing pain before they truly learn.That's a life lesson that not even the most dedicated teacher can impart.