Review: Cute story but poor writing style
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 04 6, 2014
I liked the premise, I even like how it ended, but I lost track of how many times they 'moaned' and 'groaned'; it was the only sound they made, sometimes 2-3 times in a paragraph! On top of this, everything was apparently 'lovely'. Essentially, the word repetition overrode the story on many occasions.Also, when a new person starts to speak, they should get a new paragraph. To have 2-3 people speaking in one paragraph, often without full stops, was very confusing.Then there was the head hopping! One voice at a time, please, and hopefully within different chapters, or if not, with double paragraph gaps between each. It gets confusing to have the point of view changed from one paragraph to another.Still, I did enjoy the storyline.