Review: Sparkly Vampires  Go Home!
Rating: 4 out of 5
Date: 05 26, 2012
It's bad enough to be an 80-year-old man stuck with a bunch of vampires hanging around your property, but when all they do is sulk and sparkle, it's just damned annoying.  Then a ditzy, vampire-besotted human girl shows up to make things even more disgusting. Oh, wait, there are also a bunch of waxed werewolves wearing out their welcome.No one should have to put up with such nonsense, but the elderly narrator of this story finds himself in the terrible position of needing to rid himself of this mewling bunch of pansy vampires and hairless werewolves.  He tries it all, even hires a REAL vampire to come and put the fear of God, er, maybe I should say the fear of Vlad into these young whippersnappers.  Nothing works, until .... well, now, you'll have to buy the book to find out if he ever manages to shoo the paranormal trespassers away.  The story is full of laugh-out-loud moments, and though I agree with another reviewer that the narrator didn't quite fit (I would have liked him to be a bit younger, too), his aggravation and exasperation are hilarious yet quite understandable.  Who wants sparkly vampires on their lawns?  Wait -- who wants sparkly vampires anywhere??In all fairness, I do feel I should warn readers that the bonus story, "Powerpoint Zombies" does not provide the laughs of the main story.  It is very short and feels undeveloped and not that interesting.  It could really do with some fleshing out.