Review: Disappointing story with not much happening. Needs editing.
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 11 3, 2013
This was a sweet story, but with not much drama at all. I kept waiting for something to happen to make me care about these people. The grammar and word usage left a lot to be desired. For instance:"Learily" instead of "Leerily""calvary"instead of "cavalry""baited" instead of "bated""pilled" instead of "piled"The constant misuse of the forms of lie, lay, and lain, which/that, and who/whom, was irritating. Missing words and extra words interrupted the flow of the story. Sentences such as, "So spill anything on it or I'll kill you." just stymied this reader. Redundancies in wording, such as "returned back", "lit by candlelight", and poor grammar, such as "waitress who had took their drink order." contributed to the 35 errors I marked.While it was a pleasant, feel-good, story that was free to me, I felt cheated of the time I spent reading it.