Review: Maybe I'm not crazy!
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 09 26, 2013
This book not only brought back memories of my own experiences with the heartache of infertility, but it caused the mood swings as well. I went from laughing to crying in the midst of reading one page, heck between two sentences! Many parts of this felt like I could've written it myself.  My husband is 100% fertile and the fact that I am the reason that we can't get pregnant weighs on me heavily. I too questioned, many many times, why women who didn't want children could get pregnant on accident, yet others like me try and try with no success. It isn't fair and it isn't easy to cope with at all.  You resent your friends or family or can get pregnant with no issue. You resent women who get pregnant on accident and they are upset about it. Constant blame, depression, heartache, guilt, a feeling of emptiness, the thought that you are broken, the excitement of thinking "This time it will be positive" only to see that negative sign (repeatedly)...been there, done that, please keep the t-shirt I don't want it. My husband and I tried for four years with shots, tests, etc.  We never could afford IVF and we've considered adoption one day.  I still have some hope, though I'm enjoying life with my husband instead of letting it come between us.I highlighted the following lines because they are things I thought over and over in my own struggle (And still feel today):-But the sobs that tore from me as I lay there? I'll never forget those, because they define the most hopeless feeling of despair I've ever felt. So this is what it feels like when  dream dies?-The worst part is, there's nothing wrong with him, healthwise he's A-OK and good to spit kids out left and right...with the right girl. (I thought this so many times, that my husband should be with someone that can give him kids because he'd be an awesome dad)-Stop thinking about it! It'll happen! (I hated hearing these words. You can't think about anything else!)-I wanted to be happy for my friends who were pregnant, and I was, but it also hurt. And that made me feel guilty. (Felt this way MANY times)-It's not nothing when the one thing you want more than anything else in this world is just out of your reachI haven't gotten my miracle baby yet, but reading about the trials these women went through and their miracle babies...it gives me a sense of hope. Reading this also made me realize I'm not alone and I'm not crazy for feeling the way I do. If you are infertile and struggling, or if you know someone who is and they feel crazy or like no one understands. Read this or have them read it! I'm so glad I did. It brought up a lot of painful memories for me, but also gave me a little peace that everything I went through was a normal reaction.