Review: Good idea but...
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 07 3, 2012
The idea for this story is beautiful, unique really. And I liked the characters for the most part. Nikias' arrogance was (sort of) easily forgiven in light of how he cared for his brother and was looking out for him. Same goes for Diona. She wanted the best for her sister and did what she thought was right by trying to stop her from marrying a man she hardly knew. My biggest gripe with Diona was how quickly she walked away from Nikias when he wanted to explain or talk. Dismissing him seemed to be far too easy for her to do, which begged the question: Why? Was she hurt before? Had a bad ex-boyfriend experience before?The lack of editing and constant use of "had" really detracted from the full-on beauty this story could be. Since most stories are written in past tense, there's no need to write "had" unless adding a back story. The headhopping was a bit confusing too. Some POVs seemed to be Diona's but then Nikia's was added. With some editing and tightening up, this story could rise to its full potential and tell a tale that's intriguing and captivating.