Review: "Sable City" Review
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 05 10, 2012
Before the critical comments, let me say I really enjoyed the book (mostly) and will read the other two in the series.1.  Awkward WritingLocation 4835 is just one tiny sample of oh, so many awkward passages:  "Towsan remained standing as was the Duchess, looking all around the compound...."2.  Words Used IncorrectlyA partial list:  palette, effected, lowly, breath (breathe), plains of her face, thrush, righteous indignity, fiscal, innocuously (used when author meant inconspicuously).3. Limited Range of Facial ExpressionsLet me count the ways:  scowl (42), frown (234), glare (52), smile (348), grin (153), smirk (66).4. Modern Slang in Pseudo-Medieval SettingExcept for Balan (whose use of modern American slang was so appropriate because he had attended a community college), use of British or Americanisms such as yikes, gig, for crying out loud, pitching woo, skivvies, chew the fat, and so forth, stuck out like sore thumbs and distracted from the flow of a story set in a pseudo-medieval world.And, oddly enough, quite a few words used in their archaic meanings, rather than in their current ones.  I wanted to say to the author, "Make up your mind."5. Backstory and Descriptive Passages Long, Boring, Superfluous, TediousI dreaded every change of scene, knowing that it would subject me to over-described, page after page of excruciating detail.  Author needs to learn the balance between description and action.  Just because he can compose gorgeous descriptions of every mountain valley and create vivid mental imagery of every city street, doesn't mean he should.Chapter 9 was mostly superfluous, as was the ronin's story.  As I read, I take notes, and over and over I've written in my notes, "Long, boring, too much back story, awkward."6. Character NamesThis comment is mostly a matter of taste.  There are quite a few characters in this story, many of them with difficult and exotic names.  Hard to pronounce or spell; difficult to remember and keep straight (C. J. Cherryh had this problem in her early books).  The trick is to invent exotic names that readers can remember easily, or give them memorable nicknames.  Your opinion may differ.7. ConclusionThis was an interesting first book of a trilogy that I believe to have lots of potential to be an excellent body of writing.  I'd like to see this fine author find himself a fine editor, and rise above the ranks of the mediocre, into the ranks of the top notch fantasy writers, where I firmly believe he could shine.