Review: The most horrendous book I have ever read
Rating: 1 out of 5
Date: 12 7, 2013
*A FREE DIGITAL COPY OF THIS BOOK WAS GIVEN TO ME IN EXCHANGE FOR AN HONEST REVIEW*Actual Rating: 0.5/5 OwlsOriginally seen at: [...]*WARNING! THIS REVIEW HAS BEEN CATEGORISED AS EXTREMELY BITCHY. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.*I. An overview of what this book has achieveda. It completely butchered the basic rules of English grammar.b. It insulted the entire historical romance genre.c. it insulted the authors who actually do copious amounts of research on their chosen era.d. It utilized a sweet, albeit slightly cliche plot line and completely massacred it with its horrid storytelling and wrong usage of the English languageII. What I liked about this bookThe ending. It finally felt like my eyes had stopped burning. I could hear my brain start functioning once more.III. The editing in this book was deplorable and non-existenta. “She got a peak of others…” -p.24b. “I have heard of your wares and stopped in for a peak…” -p.31c. “Victoria was bear in her corset and history” -p.56d. “My pearl slippers will peak from beneath.” -p.42e. “Time will pass to revel this as an error” -p.73f. “…need access to you readings.” -.47g. “You left in such I hurry” -p.59h. “If you expect formality you u have chosen the wrong…” -.6i. “The Hawthorne’s are too respected to play games…” -p.44j. “…sparling sapphire…” -p.106k. “She is spending some time their waiting for your parents return.” -p.117IV. Inconsistent character detailsa. “Petter was 19” -p.4a2. “…made him appear beyond his 18 years” -p.11b. “A simple R will do” -p.48 [Jonathan is speaking here and his full name is Jonathan Forsythe, Duke of Wellington. Do you spot an R? Because I don't.]b2. “A wax seal with a hint of fragrance showed a simple ‘J’” -p.49 [This was the letter sent by Jonathan to Victoria. Was in a J or R? Winner gets a prize!]c. “The Duke of Hawthorne found himself alone between the pillars in bed” -p.59 [The rest of this chapter is from Jonathan's POV, who if I may add, is the Duke of Wellington.]d. “Duke of Wellington! Show thine face you appalling creature!” -p.73 [Last time I checked, this takes place in 20th century England and not the Elizabethan era.]e.. “Ann was speechless” -p.7 [WAIT, WAIT! I thought the protagonist's name was Victoria?!?!]I could accept minor discrepancies as we are all human and every human being makes mistakes. However, the most blatant and obvious errors should have been edited. I also wouldn’t have minded that much if I couldn’t remember some of the exact details but the errors occur within a few pages of each other [see a and a2], which made them really stick out in my mind.V. Random and unnecessary capitalization of wordsa. “Is True” -p.13b. “He trusted his Butler Oliver as well” -p.42c. “Her Bosom swelled above her corset” -p.43d. “You seem to have lost Color Lady Hawthorne” -p.71e. “She would see The Duke at the ball” -p.81f. “I expect to see you in the Parlor Victoria?” -p.86g. “…before she received The Earl and Countess” -p.87h. “The Widow Victoria” -p.101i. “Peter Led the Widow Victoria…” -p.106j. “James Explain your letter” Jonathan asked -p.119VI. Constant misuse of punctuationa. “May I come in to snuggle.” -p.10b. “Victoria’ imagination” -p.13c. “…which would leave other’s thinking” -p.30d. “We Hawthorne’s are strong as are…” -p.38e. “The courier Esther” -p.50 [Esther is Victoria's maid and not the courier.]f. “Once back at Nansen Court Lady Victoriai returned to…” -p.85g. “Good Morning Lady Sophie” -p.85h. “Jonathan “?”" -p.115i. “What of the Widow Victoria and the boy.” -p.117VII. Really awkward phrasinga. “You are like me mum” -p.7 [She is speaking to her maid.]b. “He was a good natured.” -p.12 [They are describing one of the servants and the sentence abruptly ends there.]c. “She was bustled in back” -p.14d. “…with more a frown than smile.” -p.14e. “It was a mystery that she should remain unsolved” -p.17f. “Esther please tell me the sun should shine.” -p.21g. “Lady Sterling and her entourage arrived at my same time.” -p.22h. “Math would prove his age to be quite advanced.” -p.23i. “Victoria returned to her quarters to change into sensible dress.” -p.25j. “I shall like return of such respect.” -p.30k. “His feet swelled when he put too much on them” -p.30l. “She was 18. Chipped.” -p.33m. “Victoria was growing confidence” -p.39n. “He glared at her bust with onyx brooch.” -p.39o. “They shared a like position within the sibling family.” -p.41p. “Others would think it was hallucination” -p.41q. “Esther is time to strap me into this thing. I want my waist to be less than 27 inches around to accentuate my breast. It will be dramatic with a full effect in back.” -p.42r. “…in your room reading poet’s work.” -p.47s. “Oliver turned colour” -p.48t. “It had been over 24 hours since she had sent reply” -p.52u. “I am ravenous. This Lady Hawthorne has stimulated my appetite. I am hungry too.” -p.52v. “She had no occasion to dress for such an occasion.” -p.55w. “It is female in nature and I find myself in a houseful of gentlemen.” -p.62x. “Must it always be some sort of bedroom antics that cause such affects?” -p.67y. “The Countess was not be one to confide in.” -p.75z. “For a long time hence, I shall have swollen belly.” -p.81And many more…With characters who came across as flat robotic drones, really s***ty dialogue and a multitude of mistakes [only half was presented in this review], the book was a huge waste of time. I initially wanted to finish Madame’s Double Life so as to offer constructive criticism but once I got to the 50th page, I realized that the nicest thing I could offer was a really bitchy review.I am fully aware that my own writing skills are below average but the writing in this book was on a whole other level. Uninspired, unmotivated, lazy and just plain bad. It was as if it was written without much care and I think that the sloppy editing, dreadful characters and the overall disgusting feeling of the book were valid signs of that.I honestly don’t know which made me more exhausted, reading the actual book or writing this review.