Review: What Price Loyalty?
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 12 12, 2012
If you're like me, no doubt you probably have experienced the triumphs, challenges, and pitfalls of keeping a steady relationship. It really doesn't matter as to its status: familial; platonic; emotional; significant other---all of us, as human beings, desire close contact with one another and seek out others to whom they can relate best.What seems to tie all of the various factions of the human race together are such intangibles as love, loyalty, strong communication skills, emotional stability, physical attraction, and an inner drive to want to contribute and provide for the community, in addition to helping themselves become better human beings in the process.However, we are not static creatures. We grow and mature chronologically, sexually, physically, and emotionally. (Then again, some of us emulate Peter Pan and never grow up. But I'm just saying.)As a consequence, the ties that bind two or more people together can either loosen or strengthen, depending upon how much each person is willing to invest. It's very easy to allow ennui and routine to dominate the relationship and subsequently alter the dynamic that exists, which is all the more reason to want to not only self-improve, but to encourage and inspire others to do likewise.But never fear---Stephen Williams is here!The author's book, "How to Keep Your Lover Hooked: Make it Constant" is a virtual recipe book for providing numerous suggestions to holding on to the love of your life. (In this particular instance, Williams focuses upon the readers' lovers and/or significant others.) One of the most important concepts that the author provides in "Hooked" is that "(d)ifferent strokes for different folks is the main secret. Thus knowing your partner more deeply is vital." (intro.)Williams is wise in his pronouncements---he realizes that there is no one-size-fits-all for couples in need of a relationship tune-up. He gently encourages, in his inimitable style, his readers to peruse the numerous suggestions for improvement and to select those ideas that both make sense and that are applicable to their specific situation.Social scientists and psychologists have studied the phenomena of human relationships for years, and while countless differing opinions exist, it seems that there are several universal basics that our species exhibit when seeking out a potential long-term mate---physical attraction; financial and social capability for providing and protecting a future family unit; having a strong ability to communicate both directly and via body language; potential for producing and raising offspring; and body odor. (Yes, body odor---we give off pheromones through our sweat glands when we perspire that can trigger certain sexual and physiological reactions in others.)Williams's assertion that "Hooked" has a "diamond list" smacks a bit of hyperbolic over-confidence; nevertheless, I truly believed it to be a lighthearted approach to the age-old quandary of making a relationship not only survive, but thrive despite numerous pressures from sources such as work, family, finances, etc. By and large, Williams has a solid track record of providing valuable advice to his readers for improving themselves. While sounding a bit preachy from time to time, he usually has the best interests of people at heart and this certainly is manifested in "Hooked."But as the title of this review suggests, loyalty exacts a price---it can be a terrific challenge to be able to make wise, appropriate choices in order to not only maintain a solid relationship, but also to be able to reconcile our collective conscience with those selfsame decisions. Who hasn't laid wide awake at night with a severe case of buyer's remorse after signing your names to the mortgage on a new house? Who hasn't voluntarily passed up a work promotion in another city or state in order to ensure social and emotional family stability?As with any undertaking, one has to be able to assess the pros and cons of the situation as dispassionately as possible. And sometimes this is not easy to do. There are times when the old adage "Fish or cut bait" applies. However, I would recommend that such a drastic solution be applied only after all other reasonable options have been exhausted. In this regard I would concur with the premise of "Hooked"---just because there are difficulties within the relationship is no reason for simply giving up on each other. After all, there had to have been some modicum of attraction that drew two people together in the first place.I would submit that subverting our collective egos in order to facilitate a solid loving, intimate relationship is paramount to maintaining long-term success. While I am in no way advocating being a complete pushover, it is certainly ideal and reasonable to expect each other to give of themselves while being astute and gracious enough to thank each other for their love and support, in addition to being able to maintain their own individual identity. This is a lot easier said than done, to be sure.There exists a treacherous line between being selfless and succumbing to selfish motives. One needs to balance out the other in order to avoid extremes in our daily routine."How to Keep Your Lover Hooked" is a decent read and worth the time and money expended, especially where our sense of self-identity is concerned.