Review: A personal story about multiple inter-personal relationships . . .
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 03 29, 2014
I was fortunate to be provided with a pre-publication copy of this book.Observing her mother's confusing behaviour on visits to her parents, Jill struggled to make sense of the changes occurring in both her mother, and her father's tolerance of his wife's actions.  The family were unaware of the effect Alzheimer's was having on Joan until after Jill's father's death.  Retrospective memory is a great thing when trying to understand when Alzheimer's first begins to affect a person.  It's the little things that seemed frustrating or annoying at the time of occurrence, but with the knowledge of a diagnosis, reflection or hindsight brings a new understanding of the insidiousness and extent of such a disease.Jill Stoking has a superb capacity to write with compassion and sincerity of her Mother's lengthy journey with Alzheimer's, and its effects on family and friends.  However this is also a story of complex inter-personal relationships - Jill's separate relationships with her mother and her intolerant father, her perception of her brother's relationship with her father, and more especially her own marital situation and its impact on her and her son.  It is also the story of relationships with professional persons who were responsible for and failed in the care of Joan as she became more unwell, and ultimately the loving relationship gifted to Joan by the carers who assisted Jill to care for her mother at home.Readers who have experience of any form of dementia with family or friends will recognise many of the obstacles and scenarios faced by Jill but there is nothing maudlin about this story, neither in the journey described nor the choice of language to express that journey.  It is written from a perspective of honesty, covering the full range of emotions experienced by those so closely affected by Joan's journey.  Courage is the word that remains with me after reading this book - the courage Jill showed in the loving care she gave to her mother, along with the courage showed in reflecting on all the various relationships in which she had an investment, coming to various resolutions that allowed her to move forward in her life.  A highly recommended read.