Review: Do Not Recommend - Corny Read - Mild Spoilers
Rating: 1 out of 5
Date: 04 8, 2014
This book was ridiculous. I mean really....really....REALLY ridiculous.It started off well enough. I mean, you've seen the cover, right? I saw it and was all "saweeet, this is gonna be good."Boy was I wrong.So it starts off with a "beast" of a man Dmitri (hero). He's never been a good man - he was part of a mafia. He was then thrown out of said mafia, able to escape death, but was brutally damaged physically in the process. He's been in hiding ever since  - totally ashamed, angry and hurt with his appearance and forced hidden lifestyle.(All this was good, I was happy so far.)Columbia, our heroine, is a daughter of a very neglectful mother and very verbally/physically abusive step-father (including sexually). She is a big sister of Eden and active in her community. Due to her involvement in a certain group for the community and attraction to long time crush who is head of this group, she volunteers to break into a rich man's home to "tell him off" - or whatever.(I was starting to get a little concerned about where this was going at this point in book).Now, let me state a mild "spoiler" here about our hero and heroine: they both love pain. One is obsessed with inflicting it on others, the other obsessed with inflicting it on themselves.(I am okay with this so far, I get this is a raw gritty read and can count on myself trying to see the "love" that is expressed through this complicated, yet supposedly beautiful coming together for two lost souls - two halves of a whole if you wish. <--Oh no, the corniness is wearing off on me!!)So blah blah blah, she breaks in, he obviously catches here, begins to beat her and try and get out of her who she is and what she's doing there. He doesn't just smack her around, he throws punches, whips and strangles her.(I'm still doing okay - I can see her trying to tame this abusive beast.....but I need it to be perfect or it's just not comprehensible).Then the brain pain started, because it turned into "cornsville".I swear -  I SWEAR to you, I tried to like this book. But the minute that this girl, who has been kidnapped for less than a day, starts using the words "shall" and giggling at her "love" I was rolling my eyes. It was like the author rewrote both of their personalities from one page to the other. I mean,  really...."shall" as in " oh my sweet luv muffin, I think i shall call you Dimi..taheheheheh..." cue me slitting MY wrists. Okay, I may have embellished on the quote mentioned, but it's basically the same. I mean, it's a turn on a dime difference....that quick and that much.Their strange change and ridiculous things they started thinking and saying ruined this book for me. Every time they had a conversation I felt myself starting to skim and roll my eyes.I love what the author was trying to do, turn tragedy and pain into beauty - but the characters just became horribly corny with their feelings and all reality of anything meaningful was lost. Blegh!