Review: Fun, needs editing
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 09 29, 2013
I've read a LOT of books, and I think this book really has potential. It has interesting characters, unique ideas, and is fun in a LOTR meets Fablehaven kind of way. That being said, it definitely needs some editing and revising before reaching its potential. The main grammatical issue, other than a couple misspellings, is that the author seems unsure about how to use a comma. Other than that, my main complaint is as follows: there needs to be more description during the action scenes. Especially the climax, which is over in a paragraph or two. There needs to be more going on, it seems too easy for the characters. Second, there needs to be a bit more character development. There's some descriptions and times that define the characters, but the characters are never very rounded out. They need more dialogue, a better physical description, more elements to their personalities, more descriptions of their thoughts etc. Last, there needs to be more explanations. Very few things were expanded to my satisfaction. It's a new world...in order to really feel part of it, you need a lot of description. So...all in all, great story, but needs some professional editing as the author gains experience as a writer.