Review: Fun read but needed more editing
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 10 27, 2013
I enjoyed the story, however the author needed to have someone edit it.  Sentences without nouns confuse a person.  For instance: "At six years old, basked in the graveyard's muted light."  /shudder  I'm not sure what a scrummage line is...I think maybe it was meant to be scrimmage line.  The worst was the confusion about the Fourth of July and the numbers you were using for it.  In a couple places you had 04/10  which would either be April 10th or October 4th and in other places you had 07/10 which again would be either July 10th or October 7th.  Using these dates and wondering about the Fourth of July based on them makes absolutely zero sense.  A little consistency would be helpful here.  Also, "she couldn't bare to sell it," should really be "bear to sell it."The above being said, this was a fun read with some absolutely lovely descriptions.  I enjoyed the story and would suggest it to others to read