Review: Good story, needs editing - minor spoilers
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 02 8, 2013
I borrowed this from a friend because I was underwhelmed by the sample provided. The first four chapters especially have a lot of issues with the writing - choppy grammar, repetitious information, immature characters who seem only capable of speaking in exclamation points - but by the end of the book, I was enjoying the story being told and the characters telling it. The issues from the first chapters are not nearly as prevalent in the rest of the book, to the point that I could ignore them when they did occur. I was even able to understand why those first chapters were written the way they were - because yes, those characters really were that naive at the start of the story.Still, if you want to draw readers in, it's best not to discourage them right from the beginning by presenting the material as though an amateur were writing it. It is possible to convey naive characters within the context of mature writing. I had tried to read the sample for this book some months ago and gave up after the second chapter because of this writing choice. It was only by the recommendations of other readers, and their encouragement to continue, that I gave it another go.The story itself, once it kicks into high gear, is interesting and engaging - and yes, requires a huge suspense of disbelief. I found it to be a wonderful fantasy in that regard, one I was glad to lose myself in for a few days. This really is a coming of age story, as not everyone figures out who they are or what they want in life in their teens. It's certainly not the average M/M by a long shot and that kept the story refreshing despite its many issues.Minor spoiler here: [I think the book description is misleading, as really none of the SEALs were jerks to the MC at all, and for the one that did speak harshly it became quickly evident that he wasn't as bad as first appeared. He actually became my favorite character and he stole every scene he was in.]I would recommend this to others, but I would also recommend skipping the first four chapters. You won't miss anything important that won't be repeated later on. I'd give it four stars if not for the issues with the writing.