Review: Reminds me of middle school writing assignments
Rating: 1 out of 5
Date: 09 26, 2012
I don't mean to be brutal, but this work left me completely unimpressed.  I'm a big fan and long-time reader of horror and suspense stories, but I found this one lacking in several areas.  The writing style fell flat, and reminded me of an assignment I had in middle school to write scary stories for Halloween.  The passive tone of voice is especially unsuitable for a fast-paced short story such as this.  I couldn't tell if the author intended to build suspense and got impatient, or disregarded the issue entirely.  The little dialogue there was felt forced and unnecessary.  In my opinion, the intended horrific effect would have been achieved much better without any dialogue whatsoever.  Additionally, it's difficult to sympathize with the main character.  The author spells out her issues and insecurities very bluntly from the beginning, leaving nothing to the imagination, or for revelation later on.  Where is the suspense?  Why should we even care about Heather?  Does the ending even count as a twist?Despite all that, it seems several other reviewers have enjoyed this story and given it high reviews.  It may be that I'm simply too critical, or that what I value in a story differs from what others may value.  If, like me, you believe that writing style makes or breaks a story, then please steer clear of this one.  However, if what you're looking for is a good taste of creepy imagery (and maybe a dose of nihilism), then look no further.The story is free, so if you're willing to pay the opportunity cost of 10 minutes' time, then you have nothing to lose.