Review: Amateurish and annoying
Rating: 1 out of 5
Date: 03 16, 2012
You get what you pay for. . . thankfully, I didn't pay a cent for this one.What's wrong with it? Let me tell you just a few things:The heroine is an idiot. I think the author was going for a Maureen O'Hara-type, but this woman just irritated the heck out of me. She's supposed to be an attorney who was smart enough to get through law school disguised as a man, but her behavior is more like an out-of-control teenager, probably a bipolar one as well. First, she's outraged at the idea of being someone's broodmare (actually, I get that part), but then she's kissing the guy of her own accord and thinking of having his son nurse at her breast. AFTER the wedding, the pastor has to break them up and tell them to get a room, and then when they get one, she tells him off for thinking he's ever going to spread his seed in HER. This happens SO many times it made my head spin.The hero is an idiot. Not even John Wayne would think forcing the heroine to marry him or let her father go to debtor's prison (did they even have debtor's prison in America?) would be a good way to court a woman. It's like he goes out of his way to infuriate her by telling her he only wants her because his grandfather told him to marry her and seed her with his children. And then at the end we're supposed to believe that he REALLY loved her for a long time before that. And that's another thing: if the hero is such an upstanding citizen in this town, why did she appear to not even know him? She'd never seen his home before?The plot is idiotic. On the way home from the wedding, she decides to intervene in a court case that allows us to see her spectacular skills as a lawyer. Good grief! Anybody who has ever watched Law and Order more than a dozen times could have done the same even without law school. Just unbelievable.The terminology is annoying. I have to admit the use of "mammary mounds" and "grand Tetons" are quite original, but it's like the author was so enthralled with those terms that she used them CONSTANTLY. Yeah, we get it. . . she's built. But the whole idea of a woman thinking of her breasts as mammary mounds. . . well, no. The number of times "seeding" her with his child was mentioned by BOTH protagonists really killed the romance. The author seems to have no concept whatsoever of the use of titles--not even that such titles were never used in America--because the heroine was called "Lady" multiple times, sometimes even after the wedding in lieu of "Mrs." The dialogue was anachronistic; the author used the word "betrothal" as a synonym for "marriage"; the over-use of exclamation points made me wonder if this story was written by a high school student (not bad for a beginner, but far, far from professional).My suggestion: skip this one and order a John Wayne/Maureen O'Hara movie on Netflix. This one isn't worth your time.