Review: Just okay
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 09 8, 2013
The concept and story line are good, but the writing lacks emotion.  I'm not a writer and I can't be specific about what's wrong with the story, simply put it seems like choppy sentences that add up to a story that lacks feeling.  Maybe the grammar is too correct or the syntax too accurate; I'm not sure.  All I can say is that it needs "something" to take it from okay to good.