Review: Good premise, but needs editing and an ending
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 02 14, 2014
I really like the idea behind this story, however I found the execution lacking. There needs to be some editing as there are a lot of missing words (and I'm not talking about when the author writes using the local vernacular) and there are too many times where the characters are in one place and then all of a sudden they are in a different room without there being some kind of a transition. This is very distracting. Also, it really needs some kind of ending. It doesn't really end on a cliffhanger, it just simply ends. No resolution, no continuing on to part two, it's just over.