Review: goose tattoos...
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 12 27, 2013
The past few Ross Siblings books have been on the good side of decent. ‘Take Me On’ concerns Gabriella, the Ross sister and general perfect person. We meet her just as she gets stood up at the altar. Gabriella, however, dusts herself off and moves in with her overbearing parents (more anon). In the midst of her emotional turmoil she decides to brand herself with a picture of a goose. Or a phoenix. Same thing, they’re both mythical birds. It signifies a new beginning, a rebirth (but that rebirth is being defined by her old life so that’s something that I don’t quite get). She gets tattooed by sexy Ian who has sexy tattoos and a sexy goatee. That’s ‘goatee’ for anyone whose vagina hasn’t sewn itself shut yet. Gabby and Ian, having bonded over Ian permanently burning a picture of a goose (or phoenix, whatever) into her skin, decide to have sex. Which is lovely. Until it turns out Ian has squatter sperm. Yes. One of them forgot to take a left at the cervix and wound up in Gabby’s fallopian tube and is refusing to leave until his lease is up in nine months time. Awkward.What follows is a pretty standard pregnant-by-a-one-night-stand book. There’s sex. There are careers. There’s an ex-fiancé. The really odd thing was Gabriella’s relationship with her parents. They pay for her rent and her bills for medical school. When they find out about Gabby and Ian’s relationship, they threaten to cut her off, thus ostensibly ending Gabby’s career before it begins. Does anyone else find this odd? She’s thirty six. Yes, her parents are wealthy, but there comes a point when her entire future is being dangled before her and she’s at her parents’ fickle mercy. And the reader is supposed to accept this as if there are no other options available. As if banks or credit unions don’t exist exist. As if a thirty six year old woman depending on her parents’ largesse is normal and understandable. Is it just me who finds that completely weird and unsympathetic? That put a dampener on my view of Gabby as up until then she seemed to have things figured out. We end up seeing her as blinkered, spoiled and not nearly as independent or tough as she makes herself out to be.So all in all, one of the weaker installments, particularly if you have bizarrely strong views on paying your own way. And goose tattoos.