Review: kick butt heroines who still wimp out
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 11 24, 2012
OK, SE Smith, pull on your writer's pants and LEARN TO WRITE. You have great stories to tell, but you fail on the technique.I struggled through all your spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors to read a story about some kick ass chicks. And when they were around anyone other than your heroes, they DID kick ass. Then they went all wimpy whenever one of the heroes pulled an 'alpha' male moment. Given that the 3 brothers lied to the heroines often, kept trying to separate and dominate each of them, what kind of idiot would trust them enough to be tied up by them? Bondage sex is a fun fantasy, but that kind of trust needs to be earned IN THE STORY where your reader can see it and go, 'hell yeah, I'd let him do that' instead of 'WTF is she thinking? He is SO gonna screw her over.' Plus, everyone is soooo surprised at 'women warriors' yet one entire species--one they were at war with and are now allied with--has female fighters. HUGE plot hole to go with the over-used and under-explained prophecy tropism to explain why they can't let the humans go back home. Insert eye roll and pained sigh here.Please, please, PLEASE find a good group of beta readers and an editor or two. It might take time, but your sales will go up so it will be worth it. Trust your reader on this and we will try to trust you enough to buy the next book you publish.