Review: Author must have a really big family - 2 stars is VERY generous
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 06 21, 2014
How can this book have so many good reviews? I'm thinking they must be written by every family member the author has.I envy the talents of writers. I know that it's not a talent I share. The author of this story, Amelia Rose, needs to learn that about herself, too. I can't imagine that she is making money from her writing. It's just that bad.Here are a few problems I had with this story, which is supposed to be a modern-day mail order bride romance:I agree with others that it felt like the tone one minute was 19th century, and 21st century the next. Did the author begin to write a historical western and change her mind?The patriarch of the Carson family, Bernard, posts an ad online for a wife for one of his sons. He's looking for good stock, willing to breed. In the 21st century? And a woman responds, coming to Texas from New Jersey?Miranda, the potential bride, arrives with her sister, Gracie, after a four day trip from New Jersey. The train took them as far as they could go, and they took a bus from Chicago to Texas. I'm not a train expert, but I think they go farther than Chicago nowadays.At his father's behest, Casey Carson goes to the town of Hale, Texas to pick up Miranda. When Miranda arrives in Hale, she is wearing a thick overcoat (that she won't take off in the unbelievable heat?!!) and gloves(?!!) over an outfit that was pretty, and looked "responsible and powerful." However, she lets the door of the tavern slam shut, "without caring for the fine fabric of her power outfit," even though she is wearing the overcoat to protect said outfit. It turns out her "power outfit" is a broomstick skirt...until the next morning, when, after sleeping in her clothes (and shoes), she gets up and straightens the seams on her slacks. I've heard of layering clothes before, but this is ridiculous.Unbeknown to any of the Carsons, Miranda brings her sister, Gracie, along. Gracie is only mentioned in passing when Miranda asks Casey where her sister should sit for the ride home from the bus station. Other than that, no one in the Carson family is ever introduced to Gracie, or questions her presence.Casey makes the sisters ride in the back of the truck, which Miranda does while still in her overcoat because it may resemble undressing to Casey. What an idiot.The truck, which Casey had been told to "fire up" to retrieve his new wife, breaks and they have to walk. (He is later chastised for taking the truck instead of the car.) They can't call for help, as there is not a nearby cell tower, even though it is explained more than once that they have satellite phones. At this point in the story, Casey doesn't even know Miranda's name. Really?Miranda's last name isn't even given until Chapter 8.There is no mention of Gracie's age until Chapter 13. You know she is Miranda's younger sister, but have no idea of the age of either of them. Casey has been "twenty-two for most of a year now." If Miranda is that age, she was only nine when Gracie was born, yet she tells Casey's father, Bernard, that with the age difference, she never really knew Gracie that well.It is explained that the cowpokes now carry satellite phones instead of revolvers. However, when coyotes are endangering part of the herd, Casey is first notified through the walkie-talkie on his belt. At the same time, a ranch hand rides up on horseback to tell him what's going on. A few minutes later, when they encounter the coyotes, Casey draws his revolver. Earlier he had a gun kept in a holder above the visor of the truck. Now he has a holster on his belt. That belt must be pretty heavy to hold a satellite phone, a walkie-talkie, and a revolver. How does he keep his pants from falling off with all of that weight on his belt?Bernard tells Miranda they drive cattle to New Orleans or Missouri, and the drive takes several weeks, and that they do this several times a year. Later, Casey tells Miranda the cattle drive takes about 2 weeks. She tells him she didn't realize it took so long. The error in the dialog is one thing, but the entire cattle drive scenario is absolutely ridiculous. The author could at least do a little research about modern cattle drives. If nothing else, Wikipedia has an entry called "Cattle drives in the United States" which may be a starting point for future reference.When the coyote incident occurs, Casey hears the crunch when his ankle gets stomped. When he fully regains consciousness two days later, he is in Miranda's bed - the reasons for which are just stupid. She also undressed him and sutured his face. His brothers couldn't have undressed him? This 800,000 ranch doesn't have any kind of medic? Right. She tells him he has a broken collarbone. Later, she tells him his leg is broken. Whether it's his leg, ankle, or collarbone, several of his ensuing actions would be close to impossible with any of those injuries.This story has more continuity issues than I have ever seen, and it's listed as having only 112 pages. Contrary to the author's bio, I didn't find it to be sensually stimulating, passionate, or even romantic. This book was just stupid.