Review: Great story writing; weak punctuation
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 05 1, 2014
Kelli, thanks for the personal heads up on the release of this second book in your "Liberty Dying" series.  NSN continues as another great read that was true for book #1, "Jingling Our Change", which I have recommended to many friends.  I'm disappointed that Amazon never included NSN among their multitude of recommendations they send me constantly.  The only way I found it was via your alert on your comment to my review of JOC.  Amazon seems to be stuck recommending many of the now 129 SHTF authors who are on my list of those not worth reading.  My "Great SHTF author" list has been reduced to 13 (one deletion recently); and you are still on it at this point.I wrote you a glowing review on JOC, and still stand by it.  I also loved NSN; but the few issues I noted in the JOC review have unfortunately not been resolved with the addition of an editor for NSN.Positive: The story line is credible, and sequences quite well.  The author is an absolutely great storyteller.  Characters are well developed; and Kelli makes you care about them.  I'm always anxious to pick up where I left off when I have to stop reading in the "Liberty Dying" series.Negative: Despite the author having taken my advice on adding an editor, there are still literally hundreds of issues in NSN with commas and hyphens, along with a few grammar errors and misspellings.  I don't know if Marty is just a well-meaning friend of the author trying to help out, or an incompetent editor who needs to find other work.  There is absolutely no improvement in the writing with this second book in terms of commas and hyphens, as well as a couple of egregious grammar errors.  Admittedly, Kelli's writing does not need the level of editorial attention that most SHTF authors need; but for an editor to let this many problems make it to publication is a disservice to the author that hired her/him.  Again, it seems to be nearly an equal split between commas missing where they should be, and places where they are inserted either unnecessarily or incorrectly.  I'm sure some readers will take me to task for even bringing this up; but that's OK.  This issue is (or should be) distracting to anyone who uses and understands proper punctuation.  The sad truth per many book reviews seems to be that many readers either don't even see the errors, or don't care.  One author that I chastised about this issue even responded, "What did you expect for $2.99"?  For me, the price is irrelevant; if you publish, you proof first, and do it thoroughly.  To do less than that is insulting to the readers who purchase the book.Most SHTF authors have issues that are too severe to overcome; but Kelli Otting is a good writer who just needs better guidance on a few things.  Kelli, if you want to resolve your one weakness, indicate that in a response/comment.  I am very busy with my own writing, but would be willing to take the time to give you a proper editing for the next installment of the "LD" series, or a revised publication of JOC and NSN.  The only caveat is that you would have to be prepared for a comprehensive and detailed approach - I leave no stone unturned.  I see great promise; and it certainly doesn't hurt that I also strongly agree with your point of view. Whatever you decide, I wish you well in your writing.  JMD