Review: Have you ever made a decision in the past that haunts you to this day?
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 08 27, 2013
I feel the need to clarify a few things with my review.  I did receive this book as an ARC a few days before it went live on Amazon.  I suck at reviewing!  But I do believe this book deserves a 5 star rating because in my opinion any book that evokes a true emotional response in the reader deserves to be read.  I think I used the wrong word when I said "inconsistencies", there were a few questions left hanging that I did not feel the book properly addressed but it did not take away from the end result of the story.  And "grammatical errors" should read spelling errors.  I have had direct contact with the author and we discussed this.  She is going to address some of these before the book goes to print.  I hope this is what all authors mean when they say they welcome constructive criticism.  In the end this is just one woman's opinion and what do I know??  I just love to read good books!An event in your life changes you so completely.  Where do the people you hold close fall or fail you?Did Ellie make the right choices?The book starts with a very volatile view of Ellie and Stefan's relationship.  They both use sarcasm to the extreme to protect their hearts and their secrets.  As I first began reading it was difficult to get past this, it seemed to me that they were just mean to each other.  I felt I may actually be "too old" for this book.  Their verbal exchanges and use of sex as a weapon/manipulation are a bit angry.  But I now believe this is a cultural representation of the younger generation today.  In the beginning there was not enough history leading up to the aftermath for a reader to have context. BUT KEEP READING!"As if I needed another reminder of what a failure I was at being a daughter and a friend.""....go, leave, you don't really want me, I don't believe you love me..."Ellie really does hate herself and the choices she has made.  She could not live with the choice she made and that ultimately drove away the people she loved and herself from them.Her therapist sucked, regardless of what Ellie says.  Stefan was right to say "you should ask for your money back".  This was the way Ellie "dealt" with her issues?Why was Stefan such a jerk that year after the incident?  Why didn't he understand? And there were more than a few instances that I thought Ellie was just a not a nice person.  And these are just rhetorical questions open for interpretation.While this book is extremely heavy it also is sweet and endearing and has some great lighter moments that really make you smile.  "Please tell me you do not man-scape!""...He planned to make love to me and I wasn't sure my feelings were on par with his."  Oh Ellie, why must you lie to yourself?Best scene:"One specific, profound moment isn't what you are supposed to spend your life looking for Ellie.  You should include a billion different instances; ones that include all the people who matter most to you and only you.Those moments should be the ones you etch into your mind and think about - not the ones where things were bad or didn't go the way you thought they should.  The only moments that matter are those that you give importance to."There were a few inconsistencies in the story line/dialogue and some grammatical errors but the end result is so worth it.  KEEP READING!The one man couldn't be the man Ellie needed - he should have known and he shouldn't have left.  The other knew without even asking.It is so easy to hide behind a sarcastic faade because the slices of truth behind the sarcasm are too difficult to deal with.When you don't want to turn the page and when you go back and reread scenes over and over and are so overcome with emotion... If you can identify with anything I have just written then read C.S. Janey's debut novel, Surrender To You"One of Stefan's favorite things to do involved turning me into a puddle of want."