Review: Choppy and Pointless
Rating: 1 out of 5
Date: 12 24, 2012
I have never written a poor review before, and it pains me to do so, now, but I simply cannot give this story a favorable review. I am so disappointed, because I love stories about the priesthood, the "calling" and the sacrifices people called to that life make.But this story fell flat on so many levels.Firstly, it was poorly written. It was very choppy; there was no flow, whatsoever. It bounced around so much that I had a hard time keeping track of which character the author was talking about, or where the character was.There were times when the author seemed to change direction, mid paragraph. It was almost as if she had lost her place or forgot what she wanted to say, but kept on writing. There were scenes that went nowhere; they just trailed off...Secondly, there was little to no character development. I knew no more about the main character at the end of the story than I did in the beginning.Lastly, I found the protagonist's life changing choice at the end of the story to be totally unbelievable. He makes a decision that forever changes the path of his life over something so minor, most people would have considered it an annoyance, at the most.Throughout the story, there is frequent mention of another character, a woman who is a friend of the main character's sister. She is mentioned enough that I believed she would play a large role in the main character's life, and in the story, but then she just seems to disappear.I realize it is difficult to build characters and wrap up a plot in a very short story. Perhaps this was a story that begged to be a novella.