Review: So, so, good...
Rating: 4 out of 5
Date: 05 5, 2014
I was in the mood for something sweet, but not too cloying last night. Nothing that would make my Kindle bleed corn syrup. Like a strawberry shortcake of a book.Of course, this means I plunked down money for a new book, when I have, at last count, 301 books that I own and haven't read. Blerg and blerg again. I'd like to apologize to these books - it's not that I think less of you, it's just that I'm distracted by shiny new things. It's ok, babies, Mommy still loves you.Anyway."Loving Jay" was the perfect choice. I felt so warm & cozy reading it; I wanted to Mary Calmes-lunge hug it.Jay is an absolute delight. Or to put it more distinctly, he's freakin' awesome. He's a bleach blond, with sometimes colorful streaks in his hair, loves clothes & makeup & nail polish. He's vulnerable & sweet, but still confident & opinionated. I loved when Liam asked when Jay first knew he was gay. Jay replies,"Pshaw, man! It's more like I had to realize that everyone else *wasn't* gay."I love this attitude and I wish more people had it.Jay's vulnerable side really comes out when dating or relationships are mentioned (whether it's his relationship with Liam, or his past relationships). The book doesn't delve too deeply into this, but it’s clear that Jay's aware that he's too "femme" for many people in general as well as other gay men. He knows he'll never be able to "pass" as straight. However, I didn't get the feeling that he thinks he's less of a man or that the author thought that either. He's not portrayed as a "chick with [male parts], just a dude who happens to like what society has deemed "feminine."Liam is a more complicated character. This book is really about his struggle to accept his sexuality. At the beginning of the book, he's in denial that he's gay (I counted 20 times in the first 3 chapters where he says he is "not gay") while simultaneously aware he's lying to himself:"...Missing the first train of the morning also meant I didn't get to see Jay. But I wasn't going to think about that. Because I am not gay. I don't notice other guys; I don't drool over them; I don't look forward to seeing their handsome face each morning; I don't dream about them every night; and I definitely don't get a [turned on] thinking about one particular face. Nope! Not gay here at all.Much."I laughed so hard at that, but it also made me sad. Liam knows he's gay but he also knows he could "pass." He has the choice to live a lie if that's what he wants. He’s spends time musing over why, if he has to be gay, can’t he like more “masculine” men, like his manly-man-thinks-with-his-penis-and-is-proud-of-it best friend Aaron. Why is he so attracted to Jay?“If I were in love with someone like Aaron, then my family could pretend that we were just friends and nothing would be said. We could be mates and even live together and no one would be any wiser unless we went around in public smooching or something.”However, it’s Aaron who points out that being gay doesn’t make him less of a man:“Aaron sent me a look, shaking his head as if I was being stupid. “Excuse me? Aren’t you out here fishing at the moment? Didn’t you watch John play football yesterday? Don’t you have a [penis] under those jeans? What part of that is not being a man?”I love Aaron’s acceptance, though at the same time I feel a little impatient that everyone defines fishing and football as “manly” hobbies and Jay’s love of clothes as “feminine.” In our society, culture, we’ve decided that certain things belong to the sphere of men & certain things belong to the sphere of women. It’s excrement, yet like Aaron & many of the other characters in this novel (including Liam’s supportive brothers) use such language frequently. I have a difficult time blaming them for this though, as I’m guilty of the same just as frequently. I’m working on it, though.Liam’s attitude, his shame, over his sexuality is directly connected to his view of himself as a "cripple." He damaged his leg as a teenager and had to give up many of his “manly” hobbies – sports & his wish to be a police officer. He has to redefine himself as a different “type” of man, less traditionally male, , just as he has to accept his sexuality.My favorite part of the book, however, was that Liam never blamed his struggle on Jay. He had reservations about his own sexuality but he never projected that onto Jay. There isn’t any scene where Liam blames Jay for causing him to out himself, and he never criticizes Jay for being “girly.” And once he accepts his sexuality, or is on the path to accepting it, he never criticizes Jay for being an embarrassment to gay men everywhere. He may worry that he himself is too “feminine” because of his sexuality, but he never asks Jay to be anything but what he is. From the beginning he accepts and loves Jay. That made me just. so. freakin'. HAPPY.This was such a great read, writing this review makes me want to read it again. It dealt with some heavy issues, but in such a light way that it was never angsty. Highly recommended if you want a light, sweet read.