Review: Great idea, poor execution
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 05 4, 2014
I received a review copy of this book via Goodreads' "Don't Buy My Love" program in exchange for an honest review.This book had a great premise -- zombies in Edwardian England, with a mob-run prison camp and an undercover Good Guy as the cherry on top. Who could ask for more? And just look at that striking cover! Unfortunately, the execution of the story was not nearly as good as either the premise or the cover.For one thing, this story could have been set just about anywhere, at any time. Readers are given virtually zero cultural flavor. We are told -- several times -- that MC Victor comes from London and MC Crunch comes from Bylondon -- but what does that mean, exactly? How has the culture been impacted by the zombies? What is the level of technology? Heck, what are the clothing styles like? And why would a whole prison camp be built around the production of honey? Why is that particular honey better or more important than any honey that any farmer could produce? (And yes, there must still be plenty of farms and farmers, or the civilization would already have died out completely.) We only know this world has trains, bathtubs, and domes -- and very little else. Sure, some of these questions might have been addressed in other books of the series -- but I was given this single book to review rather than being given the entire series, so I can only evaluate what I see. And what I see is the barest veneer of worldbuilding slapped over an excuse for a prison romance.And then we have the writing itself. When even the first sentence of the book's blurb contains a stupid grammatical error (that should be "run by the mob", folks, not "ran by the mob"), you know you're in trouble. And, indeed, the entire book was rife with problems like wildly wandering tenses, among other things. The authors could never seem to decide whether they were telling the story in past tense or present -- for instance, "It seemed like it’s been ages since his team started working in the orchard, and they haven't been given any water so far."  Try instead "It seemed like it had been ages since his team started working in the orchard, and they hadn't been given any water so far."  And then you have the homophones (that's "tracing his muscled planes", folks, not "plains") and odd word constructions ("the buzz dawned on him"?? Seriously? How does a buzz dawn on someone?) and plural/singular noun mixups ("There was a dozen of armed men" should obviously be "There were a dozen armed men") and multiple other problems that any half-competent editor could have dealt with before publication. I could include many many more such glaring examples, but you get the picture.And then there's the characters.Literally the moment Victor is herded off the transport train to this prison camp -- keep in mind that he's been blindfolded and bound for more than a day, and he has little idea what's going to happen to him -- he sees a handsome guard in the crowd facing him. And instantly, "Victor’s mouth stretched into a seductive smile before he even thought about it".  No time for looking around, no time for calculation, no time for thinking "Oh my God what am I gonna do now?" -- nope, his first impulse is to seduce without even thinking about it. Really?? And he's winking and licking his lips at this guard while his hands are still bound?? And that same day, the first day he's been in the camp, he's chuckling with the guy. How are readers supposed to feel the horrors of the prison camp when our MC is instantly and busily seducing and feeling free to wink and chuckle with a lover instead of being properly shocked/alarmed/despondent/horrified/desperate/pick-an-adjective about life in the camp? Readers are left with the impression that this guy is either totally oblivious or completely self-absorbed and cold-blooded -- neither one of which helps us to empathize with him or to believe in the romance that follows.So anyway -- you get the picture. Great premise, and a few good ideas scattered around (the honey production is totally creepy), but lots and lots of problems to go with it. I could never really feel for these characters -- they had too much cardboard and inconsistency about them, especially Victor -- and we never knew how serious they were about each other, anyway (heck, Crunch was ogling an attractive coworker at two points late in the plot -- he can't be all that attached). And without a firm romance to engage with, what's the point of reading romance, anyway?2 stars.