Review: a valiant start
Rating: 1 out of 5
Date: 01 9, 2012
the structure and flow are too short and tense and it makes it hard to connect to the story.  it is hard to read.  too direct.  i could not finish.  the nature of the communication leads me to wonder about the writers hearing status.  this could explain why i could be not connecting.  Deaf friends have always been blunt and direct like this.  something i have always enjoyed and respected.  something that could often throw me off balance.  harness that with some more color and better flow and you could really surprise the readers in an unexpected way zach.