Review: Well...
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 04 10, 2013
Ok, I like the idea of the plot of this story. I like that Emma is so completely damaged yet finds a way to have a life in spite of it. The idea of the main dude being so much older than her didn't bother me because, well, it happens. And yes, it even happens with professors.I was also glad to see that Simon did not get to have his cake and eat it too. I,e...there are repercussions for your actions. He takes the 'punishment' like a champ for the most part. I also like that the ex-wife (although were they divorced or separated? I think I only saw separated but they acted divorced and I think she moved on with his best mate) wasn't the cut throat bitch that a lot of writers would've made her out to be. Ex's can get along especially when there are kids involved.Here are my issues though. I had the impression that this story was taking place in NYC (or that area), so the characters were American but there was a lot of (British?) slang that didn't really fit. For example...we have best friends, not best mates. Counter tops are just that not benches. The different spellings (favorite/favourite) didn't really bother me much but again for consistency of your characters...it's an issue.The story definitely needs some editing. Both for spelling/word choice issues and continuity. There is one part I'm thinking of that Simon took Em to sit her down on the couch but in the next paragraph he has her against the wall being all gropey. And this leads to another issue. A girl, who was so physically violated/broken and hasn't even left her house without serious meds in ten years would most likely have a few issues being touched in certain ways. Not saying she wouldn't work through it but I feel there should've been more. She jumps from friend to lover very quickly. Never says "Woh, woh, woh, let's slow this down". Since she was coping with serious nightmares of the attack, I'm thinking certain touched would bring bad memories with it that Simon would need to deal with. Kind of like the balcony. Although I'm not so sure she'd be so comfortable doing what she did (since it was her first time doing it and she was outside) I liked that Simon used his 'talents' ;) to help her work though her issue of being out there. Emma really has removed herself from all intimacy yet has no issues with Simon's touches immediately. Not completely believable. The ending...I know there is a sequel, but again, if Simon is in love with her, maybe he'd be a bit more pissed and not so quick to acquiesce.