Review: Please re-write and turn it into a novel
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 03 3, 2014
Firefighter and Gatekeeper Brayden St. John guards the Northern portal to Jarithia the same way he fights fires: with honor, bravery and his own set of rules. But when the dragonshifter meets a certain lovely sorceress, he soon learns that rules are meant to be broken. Even his rules.Sorceress Callie Gautreaux, owner of Ribbons and Roses Flower Shop, walked away from her powerful family and her Magik years ago. Now, as a malevolent wizard invokes a rogue Chaos dragon to terrorize the streets of New Orleans, she must join forces with her sworn enemy – an ultra-sexy dragonshifter – and face her past in order to save the humans. But can she save her heart from the dragon's charm?This is really a charming story and I really wanted to give it more stars but I am one picky reader.  Maybe I am too picky. I have to give Tumlin full marks that she kept me turning pages on my Kindle, wondering what was coming next.  I also have to mention it because it is so vital to me: I was never once jerked out of the story by poor grammar, syntax or spelling mistakes.First off, it lost a star because it was too short! I felt cheated when I reached the end of it.  I felt certain there had to be more to it than this. There was a lot of stuff that was just plain overlooked and should have been developed. Such as the relationship between Jarithia and Earth.  The main thing about any Speculative Fiction is that builds worlds.  Science fiction and the fantasy genres share this.  Paranormal romance novels which are a sub-group within speculative fiction also need to build a convincing world. Sadly, this aspect was not developed in this book.  I was left with too many unanswered questions. Why Earth?  Does Jarithia have this relationship with other planets?Secondly, another way in which the world was not developed was Our Hero.  For a shapeshifter from another planet, Braydon was much too human for someone who had only assumed a human form so he could live on our planet.  Which immediately raises the question: what is his real form?  Oh, yeah, sure, he could turn into a dragon but that was almost a throwaway in this story.  I was left with too many questions.  What is it like to be a dragon?  What does it feel like to fly? He kept talking about the dragon as if it were a different creature and not part of him.  Was the dragon Braydon's true form on his home planet?Human literature is full of tales of dragons.  I think Tumlin really needed to work with this.  Have Braydon speculate perhaps on the human view vs Jarithian views of dragons such as nature, values, motivations. One thing Tumlin did mention was that as a shapeshifter, Braydon could only make love with a woman who truly loved him or he would lose his ability to change shape and would for the rest of his life be stuck in dragon form.  I suppose from that we are to infer that he was a virgin which does make for a nice change in a romance novel.Thirdly, there is Our Heroine, Callie.  She strikes me as TSTL heroine.  TSTL= Too Stupid To Live for those unfamiliar with the anacronym.  It is implausible to me that she was so ignorant of her brother's true character.  After all, she did grow up with him.  She also mentioned that she had been back and forth between Jarithia and Earth several times so how could she possibly have been as ignorant of sorcery as she is?  Yes, I know that she decided not to develop her own powers, but surely in these trips back to the home world she would have learned the history of sorcery?Her brother was a cliche villain with no character development to speak of.  I find it hard to believe that he had no inner conflict.  I betcha when he was a baby she loved him.  I bet they played together as children.  Hard for me to believe that their father could have so completely persuaded the brother to have evil plans for Callie without some sort of inner turmoil.The fourth thing that bothered me was the names the jarithians used on Earth.  They are just so human.  Ok Ok, I get it that they are passing for human but I really wanted the names to sound a little bit more alien.There was so much potential which was overlooked.  The backstory was missing.  Why was Cyrus as he was? Why did Callie's mom marry such a despicable man? How could Braydon afford to build a castle complete with moat and drawbridge on a firefighter's salary?How could Braydon switch from human to dragon and back again and have his clothes remain intact? Every story I've ever read, every movie, every TV show tells me that when a shapeshifter shifts shapes (try saying that out loud three times) the clothes are destroyed. If it is due to Magik, then please say so.  An author just can't write about a clothed shapesifter sifting shape (I couldn't resist) without addressing this point.I truly hope that Tumlin re-visits this story to turn it into a novel.