Review: Judgmental Heroine
Rating: 1 out of 5
Date: 11 17, 2013
I should have stopped reading when I realized the heroine (and maybe the author?) believes Shakespeare wrote in Old English (The Bard used modern English. OE requires a translator and even Middle English is a challenge.) But I wanted to like this book because I liked the hero so much. He was smart, funny, brave, and really good to Ellie. Actually, he's TOO good for Ellie.As undergrads at Harvard, Ellie and Luke spar regularly in their writing class. Their dynamic is sharp and witty, and it's so very obvious Luke really likes her. But Ellie sees him as a giant, richie-rich, snob-jerk. And yeah, he's cocky and charming and he knows it. He's a handsome, rich, very smart guy who believes the world is his oyster. Yet he's sensitive and intelligent enough to appreciate Ellie, who is definitely a diamond in the ROUGH. But Luke is not blinded by her lack of finances or her hair that reminds people of a Saturday Night Live skit (and that's bad hair, folks). She's not the type of girl a guy like him is supposed to want. But he doesn't care. He tries to be with her, which in my opinion takes guts when you're 18 and usually pretty stupid. But Ellie blows him off, because she's young too and can't take him seriously.  Okay, I can accept that, even if she is kind of a reverse-snob.Year later, they meet again, and he's a powerful financier in a wheelchair who just took over the company where she works. Ellie's like oh, wow, he finally had to learn how tough life can be, so now he's less of a jerk. (Again, I never found him that jerk-ish, although Ellie def would have been good for him back then too.) Now they fall in love, of course. And when Ellie's being nice, they have a great dynamic. Their repartee is hilarious at times.But Ellie is still making judgments, pretty harsh ones in my opinion. First, she hears rumors that Luke hired prostitutes. And he admits that ONCE he called an escort service but never followed through. This happened after the woman he dated for six mo. saw him naked and told him she just could not handle being physically intimate with him, even though she thought she could deal for the sake of the money. My reaction to Luke's confession was, geez, no wonder he called an escort. To be so deprived of physical affection and unable to trust, how lonely and how sad for him. But Ellie's sense of decency is disturbed. She doesn't like knowing she's with a guy who would do something like that. But she's magnanimous enough to let it go.But Ellie hears more rumors, that Luke takes over companies and fires all the employees. She believes he will do this to her company. She confronts him and he admits that yes, he buys ailing companies and fires employees who are not doing their jobs. That's his MO. That's why he bought Ellie's company. It's employees are slack, it's losing money, and it will shortly go under without such measures. And then everyone would be unemployed. But for her sake he will bankroll the company she works for and keep all her lazy co-workers employed at a loss to himself.Ellie is not appeased. Ellie is SHOCKED! Ellie is HORRIFIED!  Luke's no longer just a jerk! He's EVIL! She promptly breaks up with him.At this point, I'm shocked too. What the bleepity-bleep? She's breaking up with him because he fires people who don't do their jobs???Ellie returns to work. Lo and behold, she notices her lazy co-workers aren't doing their jobs, just like Luke said. But he's still evil. Then she discovers she's pregnant with Luke's baby. She never thought she'd have an abortion, but she can't stand the thought of her child having such an evil father, the type of man who FIRES people who aren't doing their jobs. Gasp!Ellie's a Harvard-educated adult. She loves Luke, Luke loves her,  but they never discussed birth control etc . Now she's pregnant, and even though she loves him, she's not going to tell him because he fires lazy people. Her baby cannot have such a father. The solution is a secret abortion. Huh? Regardless of where you come down in the abortion debate, this logic is just screwy.Everything turns out okay, but only because Luke turns his back on his "evil" ways. Then with only hours to spare before she terminates the pregnancy, Ellie discovers this is a miracle baby. Luke isn't supposed to be able to have kids. And now they're ready to live happily ever after. Poor Luke.