Review: Good story with editing and confusing sentence structure problems!
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 04 25, 2014
I am so tired of buying and reading highly rated books only to find out that the poor editing and confusing sentence structure detract from the story. Writers of M/M books need to be especially careful with the use of pronouns. Example: "Braden set his fork down, his eyes searching for something inside Wes. What, he didn't know, but he hoped Braden found it." The use of "he" should refer to Braden, not Wes. This is just one example that I found in about 30 seconds. And the sex scenes were probably hot and spicy, but all I could think of was whose arm was where, who was doing what to whom. Example: "With eager hands, Braden shoved Wes's sweats down his legs. His d**k ached as it sprung free, wanting nothing but the heat of Braden's mouth to envelope it." The point of view not only changed from paragraph to paragraph, it changed from sentence to sentence.Four stars for the characters and story and two stars for editing.