Review: Starts out ridiculous, ends up scary/sad
Rating: 1 out of 5
Date: 12 8, 2013
Even if you're ready to buy that a beautiful (non-religious) woman could still be a virgin in her late twenties because she was just "too busy" for men, this book is ridiculous.  There are spoilers within this review."Emily" is also "Lee."  She goes by "Lee," but everyone in her life persists of thinking of her as two different people -- the nice and sweet "Emily" and the accomplished "Lee."  Apparently the idea that women can have certain personality traits they maximize at work for professional success and temper in personal relationships, as men are capable of doing, is foreign to everyone in this fictional universe.  She is a virgin (seriously, who has the time for sex ever?) and falls for her new neighbor, the studly Jake.Emily/Lee is capable of having an orgasm just from the sound of his voice.  Believe me, this is run into the ground, as she orgasms in front of her friends (ew . . .) and groups of bar patrons.  For reasons that are a bit elusive, Jake decides that their relationship needs to wait forever for consummation, so they orgasm against each other on dance floors, walk-in freezers, bar stools, etc.  Apparently this is a lot classier than just finding a room and getting it over with.Jake and Emily/Lee both have parts of their past that they are reluctant to share with each other.  Jake is still recovering from the years of alcoholism brought on by the terror of obtaining a Ph.D and Emily/Lee had a terrible childhood.  Emily/Lee is very reliant on the support of her two besties -- Marilyn and Booker.  You can tell the author thinks the scenes with these two are hilarious, as we're constantly subjected to their jokes.  They've significantly complicated Emily/Lee's life by supporting the concept that Emily and Lee are two different people and treating her like a super-accomplished infant.  Also, get a drink in them and they'll pretty much spill all your secrets.  With friends like these . . .Just when you're getting into the flow of a light-hearted, if remarkably tedious, romance, things take a dark swing.  I love alphas (I married an alpha!), but Jake gave me the heebie-jeebies.  Before they are even exclusive, he's trying to control her entire life.  After they have sex for the first time, he realizes that he got so excited that he forgot to use protection and he declares that if she winds up being pregnant, they will get married right away.  This is after she said that she has no interest in marriage and children.  He doesn't really care -- he just tells her that she will anyway.  I'm sorry -- if YOU get too excited that you don't bother to think of our mutual interests, you don't get to just decide what will happen.  It all pales, however, in relation to what he does when he finds out a disturbing portion of her past (her past, as it in happened years before they ever met).  We're told that he puts his hands around her throat to show her how easily he could kill her.He puts his hands around her throat to show her how easily he could kill her.  To me, in a romance that has had no elements of power exchange, that is chilling.  And he does this in response to something that happened years ago before they even knew each other.And the book still ends with Emily/Lee going to Jake and begging for HIS forgiveness.  His behavior is never even an issue as Emily/Lee proceeds to give up everything in order to be with this guy.I get the fantasy element of romance, but for me, part of the fantasy is that the guy is worth being with.  Jake hates "Lee," he can't stand everything that matters to her -- her independence, her company.  He's more concerned with her innocence and sweetness than anything else.  She isn't even a person to him.  The book ends with Jake having an orgasm in his pants after a mere embrace from Emily/Lee, a final image that is profoundly appropriate for this unerotic romp.