Review: Clever but far-fetched premise, just readable
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date: 04 22, 2014
This story has a clever, if far-fetched storyline. An abused child-Max, receives kind, and generous treatment from a little girl- Essy, who is running a lemonade stand to pay for an operation for a sick sibling. This is the first expression of this kind in Max's life and starts a life-long obsession with her, that manifests itself in works of art that feature her countenance.As the story begins Max is actually under psychiatric treatment for this Obsession, when he meets her again, through the meddling of his Doctor. This precipitates a crisis in which a powerful criminal becomes equally obsessed with her and plots her kidnapping.Like i said a clever premise. So why have i given it only a three star rating?1. Numerous spelling errors. I started laughing after a while. Ex- He just couldn't 'bare' it. :) Stuff like that over and over again.2. The dialogue is very sophomoric and contrived. I have a thing for clever, inventive phrasing, and it aint here.3. Too many sentence fragments standing alone- Ex- 'Bruises, burns, bumps.' Gimme a break, that aint a sentence:)4. Hackneyed sentence structure- Ex- 'She interpreted his dumbfoundedness as penniliessness' Come on, this could easily be made more readable with a little word-smithing.5. Characters are very mono-dimensional, and cartoonish in their reactions to events. This is related to the dialogue problem obviously.All things considered, not awful. If its free, or maybe a buck, take a flyer. Didnt make me want to read any more by this author though.