Review: This is a train wreck that you can’t get off!!
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 06 4, 2014
I don’t even know where to start with this review. This author has taken your deepest, darkest most sordid fears and put it out there. It will play with your emotions and your mind well after you have put the book down. It is excruciating, the writing is so in depth and descriptive that you cannot get away from it. It is brilliant and worth way more than 5 stars!When this arrived in my inbox for review I hit Goodreads in the hope of finding a review of Don’t (Book 1) as a sort of refresher. I read Don’t in December 2012 and although I could remember the story I couldn’t remember all the little intricacies that made that story so powerful. Typically I couldn’t find a review that gave me all the spoilers I was looking for. I made the decision to re-read it before Antidote and it was very definitely the right decision. You cannot read this book without reading the first!!  Antidote is hard hitting from virtually the beginning so having a good grasp on the unusual relationship between Gray, Jack and Jan is a must!Before going any further this book comes with all sorts of warnings…..pay heed to them!!  If you don’t want to read about rape, abuse, Psychological reconditioning and violence then don’t read this book. There is no sugar coating here!! There is just dark and pitch black!Oh-kay….let’s see if I can do this a little justice at least…..When we left Gray, Jack and Jan at the end of Don’t they were trying to move on from the mind****s that had played out. There were three of them in the relationship and they all had different parts to play. They are all imperative to each other even if they don’t realise it. This is where Antidote picks up but it seems the past is still trying to catch up with them.JanJan is the one who got unwittingly involved in Jacks life when his car broke down. Dragged into a world of secrets, sex and violence he was the anomaly in Gray and Jacks life. He fell hard for Jack and will do anything to keep him in his life…even Dom training. Jan is a romantic and a lover and being a Dom is not and never will be for him. As he ingratiates himself further into Jacks life, ergo Grays life, he becomes their touchstone. He can calm Jack with his love and gentle touch. He may be intimidated by Gray but he doesn’t have the same compulsion to fall to his knees and submit which gives him strength when facing the domineering man.JackWhere the hell do you start with Jack? A Master Sub who trains new Subs and Doms pushing himself to the limits physically, mentally and emotionally.  He belongs to Gray even if the man has never collared him or officially claimed him. He has lived with his disorders, his messed up past and his messed up present. He is broken in so many ways. He craves the bastard of Gray and the gentleness of Jan. In this book we come to realise he is way, way, way more messed up than we ever thought and things are about to take a drastic turn for the worse.GrayThe Master Dom who appears cold and calculating. The Master Dom who has to admit another man, who isn’t a sub, into his relationship to hold onto the most important thing in his life.  He is always one step ahead and shows no compromise. He is frustratingly anal at being able to tell Jack exactly how he feels about him which in turn messes with Jacks head even more. They have such a complex relationship that when it starts to unravel it truly feels as though the world is ending for them. His compassion is hidden under a blank gaze and the promise that he will damage or kill anyone that messes with those that he cares about.I really can’t tell you too much about the story. It is something that you have to experience for yourself to appreciate the true depth of depravation and sheer brilliance. Cutter maybe dead but his legacy lives on. The abuse the man inflicted on a young Jack was taped and suddenly appears on the internet for everyone to see. There are dark forces at work who seem intent on taking Jack to the very limits of his existence. To push his triggers and then just keep on pushing until he breaks past any point of recovery.Jan will be the one that has to watch this destruction first hand and it will change their relationship forever, it will change Jan forever. Gray is the one who has to sit on the sidelines and then clean up in the most brutal way when there is only a slight glimmer of hope that any of them can survive. When you find out who is behind it you will have a true WTF moment. I actually had to read the chapter again just to make sure I had got it right. Cruelty shows no limits and has no friends.We meet Martin.  Who is Martin? We keep reading about him…I thought at one point I had missed an important part of the story as I didn’t know who he was. Yet another WTF moment!!  Sheer writing and plot genius. Martin is destructive and doesn’t come round too often.Mercedes Benz at the end nearly killed me!!  Finally he is human and shows his emotion to the person it matters most to. Then I was in a panic….surely that can’t be it? Then there is dancing and moonlight and maybe, just maybe a little bit of healing. Phew…talk about being put through the damn wringer!!There is going to be more books in the series.  Surely to god there is going to be a little bit of happiness….just a teeny tiny bit!Review by Caroline