Review: Strong concept, needs editor
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 08 12, 2012
This is an extremely short story. The product page lists it at 4 pages; that is actually correct. The concept is good, but the execution could have be a lot stronger. This short story needs an editor. For example, "it's" was used several times instead of "its." There were far too many sentence fragments in the story. A few sentence fragments can have dramatic effect. Too many, and the effect is lost. Instead, the sentence fragments broke up the otherwise lyrical flow of the story. The imagery conjured was excellent, but frequently limited by stilted sentences missing required punctuation in several places. I would read this author again if I can be assured of stronger editing in future works. Imaginative story-telling is her forte.