Review: And then he bought her a pony and a chocolate helicopter
Rating: 2 out of 5
Date: 07 13, 2010
This is the sort of cheesy vanilla* imaginary-boyfriend type porn where the guy says things about "telling you what's been in my heart for years" and then goes down on you.  You know-- "Oh, I must look terrible, I've been crying and I have bedhead and I'm forty!"  "You're always beautiful to me, my darling, and I don't mind if you weep for I shall comfort you in my warm muscular manly arms!"  Like that.  There's lots of sex, and even some language, but it's kind of forced-sounding in context, like this is the kind of lady who would normally say "winky" and "hooha."The dialogue is pretty awful-- "I'd like to [blank] you until we're completely spent, Kayla" is a fair sample-- and so is the narration ("As much as he wanted to continue, he also believed in respecting a woman's wishes").Not one-star egregiously awful, but definitely not my thing.*Ew, that sounds really gross.