Review: Delightfully Bawdy!
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 06 19, 2013
This is the story of Pirate Dave, a narcissistic time-traveling vampire warlock with a permanent erection, a crew of scurvy, smelly, and terrified pirates, and a long-term Scrabble war via cellphone with Poseidon.  As the story opens, Pirate Dave is braving an earthquake to locate his ultimate concubine, who actually turns out to be a two-fer, as she's one half of conjoined twins named Laverne and Shirley.Thankfully the story mainly takes place in 1492, because Laverne and Shirley do not seem to mind Dave's lice-infested chest hair, or his "manly" body odor.  Personal hygiene is not a primary concern for pirates, thank you very much.  In between accidentally slaughtering his crew, boinking Shirley, screaming insults at Poseidon (who responds with well-placed lightning bolts), and time-traveling for antibiotics and shopping binges, Dave manages to cross paths with a blind troll, a surgical team at Johns Hopkins Medical Center, and an immortal hag with giant fake boobs.Truly a renaissance man!This novella had me laughing, snickering, giggling and constantly yelling to my bemused husband, "Hey Honey, have you ever heard this one?" Even my manly stud of a mate learned a few things from Pirate Dave, my friends.Everyone needs a little Pirate Dave in their life.  Bawdy smut with laugh-out-loud humor is a rare combination.  Go download this little gem!