Review: I didn't think this series could get any worse....
Rating: 1 out of 5
Date: 12 13, 2011
BUT IT CAN!  Oh, it can.  Then again, I am the sucker who keeps giving this author my money to read books that I know are awful.  I have no idea why I am doing it, other than that I am a masochist who has to finish series that I start.***** SPOILERS BELOW ******This book starts off awful and gets worse from there.  At the start, Skyla is about to get sacrificed by the evil angels called Counts, one of which is her ex boyfriend Logan.  She's spinning around on a slab of rock and manages teleport herself to MARSHALL of all people.  He traps her somewhere and forces her to "work" with some creepy lady named Ezrina and Skyla has to sit around chopping up dead bodies for several weeks before Marshall finally lets her go back home.She arrives home and everyone is gathered at her house for a Christmas party.  Their daughter is missing, but they're all partying!  THEN, her ex boyfriend Logan immediately grabs her and starts french kissing her in front of her family for some reason.  Who cares that this makes no sense and would never happen IRL ever.  Let's not forget that Skyla is dating Logan's brother or cousin or whatever he is - Gage.The plot makes almost no sense.  The whole body cutting up thing, never amounted to anything other than a few mentions as Skyla internally remembers it.  Skyla still parties all the time.  Skyla still runs around making out with all three "boys."  She also talks nonstop about sex and tries to lose her virginity about a million times in this book.Marshall is still a creepy teacher that no one thinks is bad.  There is a party at Ellis' house where all the teenagers are drinking and doing drugs.  Marshall comes up and kisses Skyla in front of everyone - nothing inappropriate about that right?  They then walk around holding hands, despite her BOYFRIEND being at the party.  Then again, her boyfriend Gage is sorta dating Chloe for absolutely no reason that makes any sense at all.We do get some awesome lines like "He fondles my fingers, molests them with an intensity (...)"  WHY DOES THAT MAKE ME THINK OF CHILD MOLESTATION AND DISGUSTING THINGS??Not much actually happens in the book.  Skyla makes out and parties and wants to get laid but doesn't.  Her parents act like idiots as usual.  They think Skyla is pregnant and instead of going to the store or local doctor to get a pregnancy test, they go on a road trip and stay in a $400/night hotel and go to a super expensive doctor only to get told she's not pregnant.  Skyla's step dad, who constantly calls her a slut and bitches that she is allowed to be alone with Gage, says that he's not wasting a $400/night room without getting laid himself, so he allows Skyla and Gage to room together while he bangs Skyla's mom in the other room.  Yeah, that makes a ton of sense!!  This does get the awesome line: "the ATM that lives in Tad's ass just hunkered down and closed up shop for the night."Later on, Skyla and friends are all on a ski trip.  Skyla and Gage are alone in the room and decide they want to have sex.  During this totally hot scene, we get the line "Should I grab onto it with both hands like a fire hose?"  Yes, she is talking about exactly what you think she's talking about.Also on the ski trip, Skyla is on the lift with Gage.  Somehow the ski lift malfunctions and starts dropping everyone on top of each other.  Skyla then decides to use her "Celestra" strength to knock a girl's head completely off.  I HAVE NO IDEA WHY SHE DID THIS.  I read the scene multiple times and it makes NO SENSE!  So she decapitates someone and it's no biggie.  They all finish their trip and head home on the bus.While on the bus, teacher Marshall sits with Skyla and basically says "Since everyone thinks we're a couple already and I'm the only teacher here, it's okay if we make out on the bus in front of everyone."  I guess no one in Paragon has camera phones.  Then again, Marshall has previous banged Michelle AT SCHOOL, so his behavior is okay.When they return, there is some of the shoddiest and stupidest police work ever.  The cops sit ALL OF THE KIDS in a room together and they each get to say a two sentence statement about how the girl got decapitated.  No one preserved a crime scene at the time of the incident.  No one separated witnesses immediately and talked to them about what happened right away.  No, we're going to let random people remove the body and do a half ass investigation later.  THIS BOOK IS SO FREAKING BAD!Skyla later decides she's going to give Marshall her virginity in exchange for him getting Chloe transferred to another school.  She does this because she supposedly can't kill Chloe because of a necklace that is "soldered on." WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?  Why can't she yank it off?  Why can't she "light drive" (aka time travel) back to before Chloe got the necklace and kill her then?  Oh yeah, she can only time travel to get drugs for her friend Ellis and at other random times when it suits the awful plot.Speaking of getting drugs, Skyla decides to carry around some pot as a bribe to get some information.  She of course gets caught by the police with this pot.  These cops take pot VERY SERIOUSLY (because a teenager with marijuana is way more important to investigate than a MURDER).  Skyla gets like 500 hours of community service and jail time and a stern talking to for the pot.As we get closer to the end, Skyla tells Gage, Logan and Marshall that she loves them.  She tries to have sex a few more times with Gage, also tries to have sex with Marshall, and makes out and ends up with her "skirt pulled above her waist" with Logan.  She's not a slut at all!  At the end the author HAS to leave us with a cliffhanger that I can't even bring myself to care about.This book is so bad.  The plot is ridiculous, it's full of completely ludicrous behavior and the main character is uncaring about anyone but herself and her own needs.  The side characters are all unrealistic and stupid.  As with the previous books, there are a ton of typos and grammatical errors.  It took me nearly a week to get through and I had to take breaks to read two other novels (which were actually good and I blew through each of them in a matter of hours).  I hate not finishing a series, but I'm seriously considering stopping here, especially when the author has said the 6th book isn't even the last one.