Review: You Can't Please Everyone
Rating: 5 out of 5
Date: 12 11, 2012
I freely admit it: I am a people-pleaser.Even as an ostensibly mature forty-something, I still invariably find myself inwardly cringing if someone makes what I might construe as criticism of something I might have done that day. It really wouldn't matter if I had, say, washed a ton of plates in the kitchen where I work full-time, dried them to an immaculate gleam and ensured that nary a speck of food molested their collective sanitized surfaces.There's always that chance that someone will find fault. . .with something.And isn't that the way of the world?There are countless examples from recorded history affirming the necessity to just simply be yourself, and to hell with what anyone else thinks. Of course, it is far easier said than done---we are social creatures who seek comfort in the presence of like-minded souls, and our thoughts, attitudes and opinions are often nurtured and encouraged within this affirmative cocoon.  Paul ostensibly exhorted Christians living in the Roman Empire to not be of this world: in short, to not conform to the expectations of the predominant pagan society, nor to the picayune legalese of the Jewish Sanhedrin. The character Polonius, in Shakespeare's "Hamlet," stated, "To thine own self be true." Even the iconoclastic Henry David Thoreau asserted that "(i)f a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer."So why even bother to stand out at tremendous social risk to oneself? Isn't it much easier to just go along to get along?Not if we want to get to where we want to be and still maintain our integrity in the process. And in order to do so, we need to develop the self-discipline necessary to see us through the inevitable challenges and vicissitudes that life throws our way on a daily basis. In Jack Dusenberry's "Self-Discipline Your Way to Successful Living," the author provides the reader with a systematic plan that can be gradually incorporated into their daily routine so as to hold themselves nearly always accountable for their actions (or lack thereof). By doing so, the capacity for assuming greater levels of responsibility increases, along with the inherent risks and rewards that accompany it.Self-discipline, in this particular case, does not mean drinking a raw-egg-and-protein shake and running six marathons. The emphasis is upon the internal---the ability to adhere to a self-imposed regimen that is not only self-motivating, but is an easily attainable goal that consequently encourages ourselves to continue to set the bar a bit higher the next time: "(O)n our path to success, the greatest struggle and obstacle is not with external elements but. . .is a battle we have to wage within ourselves, conquer our own doubts and diffident actions so that our self-esteem and self-confidence can grow stronger." (Ch. 1)So if I say that I am a people-pleaser (which is, in and of itself, not necessarily a bad or immoral thing), then I am ultimately dependent upon other peoples' approval and validation. The focus then switches to any and all external loci that reside physically and sensually outside of my being.Not exactly Janet Jackson's way of wanting control, in a manner of speaking.Ultimately, whether we choose to believe it or not, all of us DO have choices in our lives. While we can't influence, much less control, everything we want, we can consciously decide to do A instead of B, or perform R instead of S. These actions can be physical, verbal, or mental; they can involve our singular selves or encompass a multitude of people; and the consequences can span the gamut from innocuous to intense to nightmarish.Self-discipline is not a cure-all, nor is it a quick fix. Dusenberry stresses that time, while a valuable ally, is completely indifferent to our innate human tendencies for impatience and frustration."Discipline," in and of itself, exemplifies settiing a small, aforementioned goal. By taking the time to read and digest the important points found within Dusenberry's book, the reader has already begun the lifelong learning process that not only will re-define a new meaning of success, but will ultimately define who we are as individuals relating to the greater macrocosm that is our world.And that pleases me to no end.