Unintentionally Hilarious Sound Machine with Weird Sounds
This is one of those odd products that were clearly made by some tone-deaf, perhaps mom and pop company in China. I normally don't associate "mom and pop" with Chinese-made products, but the range of quirky sounds that come out of this sound machine have a "homemade" quality that are bizarre, to say the least.<br /><br />This machine boasts supposedly 48 sounds, more than most sound machines. Unfortunately it includes a number of sounds that I have a hard time believing would help me sleep. There is something called ASMR which is the science of producing soothing, repetitive sounds that cause a tingly or comforting sensation in the listener. However, someone seems to have misread the concept, for the "ASMR" section of this machine includes the sound of someone moving furniture around, swallowing and then gurgling water loudly, and munching a bag of potato chips.<br /><br />In addition, there are weird combinations of sounds - instead of a crackling fire, it has a crackling fire while music plays in the background (as if you were inside a restaurant) and the murmuring of people chatting and moving around in a coffee shop. If I wanted sounds like this, I would just keep the TV on all night.<br /><br />To top it off, the "music" function includes lullabies sung in English by a Chinese woman with a thick accent. She sings "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" but her English is so bad it sounds like "Tinkle Tinkle Litto Star." It's followed by her off-key rendition of "You Are My Sunshine" with a breathless voice that reminds me of a bad karaoke session.<br /><br />Then there are the lights, which I could not for the life of me figure out how to control. It has a light on the bottom and a light on the top. It seems almost entirely random which light goes on and off and I had a hard time dimming or turning off either light.<br /><br />The controls require some pressure or strong tapping in order to work, so this would be frustrating for someone used to sensitive controls or an elderly person with limited finger strength.<br /><br />I like the fact that the display shows the temperature and humidity, but there is no clock setting.<br /><br />While it does have the usual quotient of sounds (ocean waves, birds chirping in a forest, etc.), even these sounds lack sharpness and comes across as rough (just like everything else about this machine). Because of the bizarre sounds, however, I wouldn't feel comfortable gifting this to anyone unless I made it clear it was a gag gift.
Rating: 2 stars