Looking for facial pain? Look no further.
Hey, have you always wanted to scrape your face with sandpaper but just lacked the will? Or maybe wanted to pull every other whisker out of your pores as if it was being done by a convulsing patient with dull tweezers? Well have I got the trimmer for you. Just jam this whirling blade of 'Holy-$H!#-THAT-HURTS' right up your nostril and let it's slow, dull blades snag and snare your nose hair away. But wait there's more. If you want to exfoliate your face like a sandblaster scrapping away popcorn foan from a crack house ceiling, be sure to attach the 'Stop-it-Stop-it-I'll-tell-you-anything-you-want' beard trimmer attachment and carve your way to facial bleeding, uh.. bliss. The slow, powerless motor yanks and tugs every other whisker while at the same time grinding your face with a mesh of 30 grit metallic sandpaper. It's an experience to be sure. Just be certain your health insurance is paid up first. The EMTs and ER doctors like to get paid too. Maybe you'l make it into the next book of medical mishaps and ER horror stories. And when it's all over, be sure write a review here on Amazon and tell us why this device should be in every interrogation room from here to Guantanamo Bay. Happy bleeding.
Rating: 1 stars