and that if you soak leather in water (or chicken broth) you could chew it up better and eventually swallow little pieces of it
2 weeks ago, my friend asked me if I had ever eaten a football. It occurred to me that I hadn't. In the midst of my wondering about why I had deprived myself of this experience, I learned that the main reason I hadn't eaten a football was that they are practically inedible due to them being made of leather and rubber. I later read that rubber originally comes from trees so it's actually quite healthy to ingest, and that if you soak leather in water (or chicken broth) you could chew it up better and eventually swallow little pieces of it. I did both of those things. It was difficult and took longer than I expected it to but I'm proud to say I have eaten an actual football.<br /><br />5 minutes after I had slurped up the last of that pesky rubber bladder on the inside of the football, I was perusing Amazon for a nice gift for my Auntie Sharon. I happened upon this cookie - THAT LOOKED JUST LIKE THE FOOTBALL I JUST ATE - and almost lost my mind. It was like I was seeing a ghost of a thing I had just killed. The detail in this football was just so accurate to the football that was digesting inside of my stomach, I started to become scared and fearful that this was indeed the un-dead reincarnation of my afternoon snack coming back to haunt me. I began to pack my things and made plans to move to Canada, where football is a joke - not a monster, when I noticed that, to the left of this supposed ghoul-of-the-gridiron, there was a cookie cutter. I no sooner noticed this than realized that the cookie I was seeing wasn't an evil, zombie sport-object at all! It was really just a cookie! My how relieved I was to learn this! I had become so caught up in the uncanny resemblance of the cookie to a REAL FOOTBALL THAT I HAD EATEN, that I was about to uproot my entire life in hopes of hiding from its all-seeing, guilt-inducing laces (the laces are the eyes of the football). I was so happy about this realization that I bought two of this cookie cutter (one for me and one for my Auntie Sharon) and immediately made 16 dozen of these football cookies. I have eaten nothing but those cookies for 2 weeks now and am still surprised at how much this cookie looks like a friggin' football that I ate. Would buy again.
Rating: 5 stars