Simply Brilliant
If we're completely honest, we've been conditioned by manufacturers these days to accept rubbish without complaint.  Quite true, you can dial into their computer and navigate circles around their voicemail system for a few hours until your anger dissipates.  Or is transferred to computer answering systems.  Whichever comes first.<br /><br />Happily, however, such is not the case with the Philips Norelco T980 Turbo Vacuum Trimmer.<br /><br />Not only does this eager little trimmer solve several problems at once but it does so with a composure and aplomb that will sweep away the corporate fog and, suddenly, everything else you own will seem completely and utterly inadequate.<br /><br />Trimming whiskers used to be such a chore that the ZZ Top look began to show some sense, if not appeal.  The constant recharging, sweeping up afterward, seemingly endless search for single-tasking components that had wandered off and an assembly/disassembly process for cleaning the tool that would make Bill Gates weep.  Philips, however, decided to go in a slightly different direction.<br /><br />For a start, the battery holds on to a charge with a grip that would make Chuck Liddell cry. It doesn't last mere hours, days or weeks.  Under standard use, mine lasts well over a month.  Even when the battery light does begin to blink, what it really means to say is, "Pardon me but, at some point in the next several days, when it isn't too much of a bother, could you please plug me in for a bit?"  Nothing urgent about it whatsoever.  And once the lead is connected from socket to trimmer, a scant hour will have it fully refreshed and ready for another month on the road.<br /><br />Then there is the all-in-one design.  Unlike most trimmers, which require that you dig around to find the correct attachment in order to trim your left eyebrow now that you're done with the right, nearly everything is built directly into this sleek little unit.  The only exception is a neat little detail trimmer that stands eternally at the ready in its own clear and obvious pocket inside the travel pouch.  That's it.  Nothing else to search out when you're dashing to work.  It's all right there.<br /><br />Not everyone who sells a "vacuum trimmer" truly means it.  Most generate just a bit of wind, sufficient to scatter your whiskers over the widest possible surface.  I firmly believe my last vacuum trimmer was designed by a consortium of housekeepers seeking job security.  The T980, however, actually captures every single whisker, every single time.  And then there's a Turbo button that doubles the already adequate force of the vacuum's suction so that you can give yourself that wind-blown look if you so choose.<br /><br />But, by far, my favorite thing about this trimmer is the way it feels.  It sits in your hand as if it were custom designed specifically for you.  It's lightweight and nimble around the bends, falls effortlessly into its case when deeds are done and assembles as if there is an invisible force guiding your hand at every step of the way.  I am genuinely amazed at the simplicity of removing and replacing the grille guard.  For a time, I thought it must be drawn together by magnets.  But it isn't.  It's just a set of exceptionally well designed tabs and slots that quickly correct a hurried approach and seat the grille home with a satisfying, subtle click.<br /><br />Most products on the market today are slapdash clumps of flimsy plastics and mechanics that are carefully designed to fail at the worst possible time.  And, for some reason, we have accepted this corporate abuse in the hopes that prices would compensate us somehow.  But they don't really, do they?  When you've re-purchased the same device five times because it keeps breaking, whose interests are truly being served?<br /><br />So, then, the T980 is a warning shot fired over the bow of companies everywhere who treat their clients like stupid, slobbering monkeys, devoid of choice or rights.  With it, Philips is saying, "See, everyone?  You needn't accept rubbish in exchange for your hard-earned money.  We've done it properly and at a price point that is competitive."  And why wouldn't we honor that?<br /><br />I wish my hair grew faster.
Rating: 5 stars