I'm feeling guilty of everything that happened she cannot swallow even small medicine for high blood shevsaidvshe cannot eat well though I bought medicine   before but lately bec of my busy functions schedules leaving 7pm office arriving 9pm here I cannot insert in my sked then everything has to be done by me cooking of rice heating of food washing dishes I slept almost 1am woke 4am. It was mid of July when flood reached us.I haven't fixed everything I left linoleum and basins in the laundryplace passage going out.We ate dinner then I went up bec not yet finished with my work when she shouted for help nabagsakan sya ng lino and batya nadapa sya dala2 balat ng saging to throw maghapon sya matulog which she used to do.Nagkabali sya ng buto di na pd cementuhin 86na sya walang medicine binigay only Benda but she can't move herself.Im having a problem how to take care of her the team lead and manager did not permit me to work from home even two weeks.Later me naibigay na makasama.For one magkasams Sila usually de lata ang pinapaalmusal then I found out na Yong pera and wallet ng nanay nawawala when I'm about to pay hospital for ER para matransfer ko Sana.She fell down Aug 12 2pm I'm coming grocery and payt bill nahilo daw thought gutom lang sinugod sa ospital 280/140.5 days stayed in the hospital Pero di nakakain day 1 to day5.pinayagan kg kami sa hospital lumabas kasi kumain sya di sinuka nong day4 after muntik ngt sya nireject at nilaban nya Kung ano2 sinasabi nya sa hospital kinakabahan ako.di ako makasakay sa bus ang bagal ko ang taas pa ng ulap di ko maabot si Boy Patsy puntahan mo Munisipyo Sabi ko pabsyaan mo sya me mga pulis don walanghiya ka But in the hospital I ask forgiveness for all that I did and said she nodded and held my hand. A night before she died hiniga ko pa sya yinakap nya ako and everytime lalapit ako hinahawaksn nya kanay ko for 3 days in the house gumawa na nga ako ng video namin audio.My cousin told me wag mo ng dalhin sa hospital nny mo though sat we find her legs moving that sat how many times bumagsak legs nya.Sunday gising sya but not answering me at all pinapakain ko ng lugaw and gamot.Afternoon came she did not breath color diff na ng di umating Yong ko Kasama sa bahay ngumiti daw sa kanya.I thought nong una kasi nga kinukuento nong kasama  sinabi dawgusto Kong umalis Pero di ko maiwan si Meann wala kasama.akala ko kaya ngumiti sa kanya sa kanya nya ko iiwan masaya sya at me maiiwan na sa kin but when I accounted her money lost nga I realized pinapatawad na sya.i realized na nagkasagutan sila nakita nya pagkuha nya ng pera at wallet Pero ayaw nya ibalik na high blood siguro that Friday night aug11.Puno ako ng guilt di ko marelease ang sarili ko though nagconfess na ko sa pari. Maya Maya umiiyak ako habang nag iisa kumakain sa office sa bahay sa ssimbahan.Sinisi ko pa sya bakit di nanay bakit hindi Yong walang ginagawa kamukha ng pinsan ko tulog gising lang walang pamilya Yong sinigaw nya Boy patay or bakit hindi don sa making pamilya nagbawas bakit Sa min n's dalawa lang. kung ano sakit meron ako after she died.nagbleeding nag ubo etc di nakakakilos ng lasing active nong nandito sya.Depressed daw ako.