Hi there, thank you so much for the reply. 

I have had a tough life, I know that everyone has but mine has been a little different. I struggle with depression, and often have thoughts of suicide ( since younger ) but won’t act on it. I am currently in a new country for work and I’m alone. I have been dating a narcissistic abuser for the past 8months , he has emotionally, mentally and physically abused me so bad. I left South Africa just in time before he probably would’ve killed me. I’m 27, he’s 22. I am trauma bonded and attached to him. He always want to leave but I can’t seem to let him go, I really need help and guidance to try and get over him. I’ve been reading the bible a lot which has kept my mind at bay. Thanks for listening