Question: Can you describe situations where you felt a strong need to prevent someone from leaving you, either physically or emotionally? Have you felt this need often?
Answer: Yes, in 3 of my serious longterm relationships I have seen that I tend to cling onto relationships even when my partner shared their interest in ending the relationship. They would tell me how it was not working out for them and I would try to convince them that I can change or situations can change or try to show them the reasons we should be together. Even though I was feeling that the relationship wasn't working for me either, I would still try very hard to prevent them from leaving.

Question: Do you feel that your interpersonal relationships with those you are close to are unstable? Have you experienced patterns where you alternate between seeing someone as wonderful and then seeing them as terrible?
Answer: Yes, this has happened a few times when I saw the good in them despite their very obvious maltreatment of me (which my friends would point out) but I would make excuses for their bad behaviour, like maybe they are going through something, maybe they had a rough childhood or other experience that made them act this way, maybe I did something wrong etc. But there were times I hated them for their actions or words and label them as demons or absolute low lives, but it didn't last. Their good words or actions made me forget the bad and got me back to idolize them again.

Question: Can you talk about how you see yourself? Does your perception of yourself (how you view yourself) change frequently?
Answer: Usually no, I have been pretty much independent since childhood and I am confident about who I am. I am kind, empathetic, nurturing. I sometimes make mistakes but I learn from them. When it comes to intimate relationships, I think I lose my identity a bit. I try to become what my partner would like, even when it's difficult for me to be that person.

Question: Can you describe any impulsive and potentially self-damaging behaviors you engage in, such as spending money irresponsibly, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, or binge eating?
Answer: I would say I get impulsive with relationships. I jump into serious relationships and get committed mentally too soon. I did get into reckless dates (inviting people over or going to their place) a few times which could have easily harmed me physically and mentally. I get these urges to do something reckless to feel alive, and after I do it, I do feel guilty and scared of judgement from others. I used to self-harm (cut myself) and that gave me the same rush.

Question: Can you describe any incidents where you engaged in self-harm or made repeated suicide attempts?
Answer: When I was in 10th grade I attempted suicide by taking bunch of pills. I had to get stomach wash which was pretty traumatising. I remember feeling unloved and unwanted by my parents. They wanted a daughter who was more obedient, I could accept doing what they asked of me without questioning things. I always had my own ideas and opinions, but to them that was insubordination. I thought I was causing them too much pain and they are better off without me in their lives.

Question: Does your mood change frequently throughout the day? Are there times when you feel intensely happy, sad, anxious or irritated for no apparent reason?
Answer: I feel intense sadness before my periods. It feels debilitating, it takes a lot of willpower to get through those days. I feel like all of my emotions are pretty intense, when I am happy, I am jumping like a kid, exploring everything, smiling and laughing. Nowadays I am more aware of my intense emotions and feel anxious that people might see it as scary and misunderstand me.

Question: Have you experienced chronic or constant feelings of emptiness?
Answer: I had always felt empty till a few years ago. Then it was replaced by a feeling of belonging nowhere. Like I am a floating plant that moves from here to there but has no root. Even when I was in a marriage ie a committed relationship, I was still feeling like I don't belong there. Now I try to cope with these feelings by trying to understand myself more, accept these feelings and look at them as just feelings that I don't need to react to. Let them flow through like clouds and I just watch them.

Question: Can you share any experiences where you felt extremely angry or found it hard to control your temper? Have you experienced frequent displays of temper, constant anger, verbal outbursts, or recurrent physical fights?
Answer: A few months ago, I was extremely angry with my then partner. Although I had reasonable reasons to be hurt and angry, my reaction was not something I am proud of. I told him some bad words which shouldn't have been said. What usually triggers them would be when I feel like I am being abandoned or set aside, when I am not allowed to be a part of their lives.

Question: Can you describe experiences where you felt intensely suspicious of others (for example, believing people wanted to harm you) or disconnected from reality, especially during stressful times?
Answer: No I am normally a trusting person, I trust people until or unless they give me a reason not to. I do disconnect from reality when I am in distress. I focus on a side of a wall or the corner of the TV screen and let my mind go blank. When my parents used to be verbally abusive with me, I would disconnect and not hear them and focused listening to music in my brain, pretending I was somewhere else.