How do you make a Martini?
Enjoy the following directions:

Fill the martini glass with ice and water to chill the glass (let it chill until the glass is cold).
Dump the ice and water from the cold martini glass.
Splash the vermouth into the cold, empty glass and empty the vermouth while spinning the glass upside down to coat the glass.
Fill the shaker with ¾ full of ice.
Add three jigger shots of your favorite vodka to the shaker.
Shake that vodka hard and long.
Strain vodka and ice crystals into the cold, prepared martini glass.
Get some stuffed blue cheese olives (which grocery stores or World Market should carry).
Spear two stuffed blue cheese olives with a pick and drop them into your drink.
Use the olive juice from your olive jar and pour in ½  - 1 jigger shot depending on how dirty you like it.