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Illusionary
¶
See also
Mirage observations
Back to
Intertype relations
Introduction
¶
Illusionary
, or
mirage
, relations, like
semi-duality
, are similar to
duality
in
that many of each partners’ functions directly correspond to the
unconscious expectations of the other. In relations of semi-duality
partners’ odd-numbered
functions
match those of the
other person’s dual, while in illusionary relations it is the
even-numbered functions. That is, partners’ use of their
2nd
,
4th
,
6th
, and
8th
functions more or less meets the other’s expectations, while the rest
are the opposite of what is expected for comfortable interaction. In
practice this translates to a perception that the other person can be
useful in solving practical issues that arise, but partners do not find
each other fascinating  as they do duals or semi-duals  due to an
absence of
suggestion through their 5th function
.
At a distance, illusionary partners may experience a wide range of
attitudes to each other  from like to mutual mockery  but this is
generally true of most
intertype relations
. In
closer contact, partners find they can be of practical assistance to
each other in a variety of ways, even if they are not driven to become
close emotionally. Leadership duties are divided naturally between
partners, one of which is
extraverted
and the other
introverted
, and who both share a common
rational
or
irrational
approach to
living. Despite this significant underlying compatibility, prolonged
interaction leads to a dissatisfaction with everything about the
relationship that is related to the other’s
leading function
. Partners unconsciously expect the other
person to accept their general sentiments about things and build upon
them, but illusionary partners inevitably present their own completely
independent worldviews that are somewhat at odds with the other’s. This
is because if one partner’s leading function is
, the other’s is
; or,
if one’s is
, the other’s is
, and so on. Partners’ worldviews, central
values, and general approaches are similar in that they focus on similar
kinds of things, but they are hardly compatible in practice. Where one
sees opportunities that must be developed immediately, the other wants
to wait and do nothing for the time being. Then, the tables turn and the
other person suddenly feels it is time to do something, while the other
believes that there is nothing to be done at the moment.
Illusionary relations occur between two
types
, each of which
has the others’ “
hidden agenda
” (6th) function as
their
creative (2nd) function
. However, one’s
leading (1st) function
is the others’
ignoring (7th) function
. This means that the two are like
a
dual <duality>
couple on how they interact with the world, but not on
how they view the world. Illusionary relations tend to appear close or
compatible from an outside perspective, but the partners themselves may
not get along. The closer the relationship becomes, the more strained it
gets. A parent-child illusionary relationship may be turbulent at home,
but will be more natural, relaxed, and mutually beneficial when on
vacation together.
Illusionary relations range from apparent compatibility, offset by the
occasional small, short argument to mutual understanding and tolerance
of the other’s quirks to complete aversion and disregard for the other’s
lifestyle. The relationship usually progresses smoothly, but it depends
on how close the partners are, what terms the relationship started on,
and which of the two leads the relationship (usually the older, more
experienced partner.) A lack of understanding of the other’s lifestyle
seems to be the biggest cause for upheaval.
According to
Filatova
, the one in charge is important -
if it is the more positive of the two, or the one more that is more of a
natural psychologist, then the relation will run smoothly. Out of the
four illusionary cases Filatova offers, two have the same types, but the
one in charge is reversed. In the more successful relationships, the
only
dichotomy
shared by the three types in charge is
static
.
IEEs
, which she says are life-loving
optimists, are
negativists
.
Description by various authors
¶
Valentina Meged, Anatoly Ovcharov
The comfort levels in these relationships are relatively good, as long
as partners are attentive to each other and offer mutual sympathy.
Ignoring the views and interests of your mirage partner leads to
conflicts over small things, but fortunately these are quickly
forgotten. Communication is relaxing and distracting in nature. Disputes
are rare and usually end with a compromise. Partners try to give each
other moral support and assistance, but their lack in understanding the
motives, goals and actions of one another has an inhibiting effect on
their ability to cooperate and often makes joint achievement impossible.
It is very difficult to choose a mode of action that would be suitable
for both. Relations can become rather warm when the partners spend time
on leisure or discuss extraneous topics together. Differences in opinion
and incapacity to offer each other mutual aid is offset by the overall
pleasant emotional tone of these relations, since the partner doesn’t
seem to be so distant from your ideal.
I.D. Vaisband, publications on Socionics
These relations in their course begin to feel boring and stagnant. They
lack in emotional contrasts. There is not enough sincerity since mirage
partners find it difficult to quarrel. Partners seek to understand one
another but they cannot assess each other’s wishes well. These relations
are best suited for activities that are not very serious: vacations,
relaxation, leisure and entertainment, and so on. Engaging in productive
activity together is difficult. Mirage partner is perceived as a
lightweight, not very serious, though decent and charming person, who
makes for a pleasant company, but you’re not drawn to rely on him in
serious ventures. Conflicts are relatively rare. In family life these
relations can be quite pleasant for those who appreciate psychological
comfort.
O.B. Slinko “The key to heart - Socionics”
Mirage partner often seems pleasant and attractive, but he is somehow
always eluding your understanding. It seems that he is as if hidden
behind a kind of semi-transparent veil, so that you can admire him, but
never fully understand him. Mirage partner demobilizes and softens you,
resulting in a state of mental and physical relaxation. His speech is
pleasing to you with its brilliance and originality, but it is difficult
to grasp its meaning. Continuous willful effort is required to maintain
an active dialogue between mirage partners. With such partner it is nice
to relax, but when trying to engage in common activities, your
completely different mindsets make taking concerted action complicated
if not impossible. Often mirage partners simply do not understand one
another and so each talks about his own topics of interest. In the
initial stage of development of these relations this can cause some
misunderstandings.
R.K. Sedih, “Information psychoanalysis”
This interaction is “Adult” - “confident teenager” plus “child”. Adult,
by its inertia, tries to relate to confident teenager as if it was a
child, or conversely, to the child as if it was a teenager. Your mirage
partner is a bit perplexed by such treatment, surprised and annoyed: “He
treated me so well and now started nagging me with some silliness. Does
he take me for someone else?” The development of these relations thus
starts to resemble riding a good car along a bumpy road. It is fast and
comfortable … in between the potholes. In favorable circumstances,
partners succeed in getting to know each other well, get used to one
another, and bond strongly. In this case they learn to maneuver around
the bumps. The most important recommendation for mirage partners: learn
to overcome the sometimes persistent desire to re-educate and re-make
your partner. In mirage relations, there is always a possibility to come
to an agreement without applying pressure to each other. The longer the
relations last, the easier it becomes for Superego block to get over
“childish” whims of the partner. Moreover, this aspect looks rather
charming in already formed dyads.
Laima Stankevichyute, “Intertype relations”
Lacking in sincerity, these relations become boring. Ethical partner
accuse the logical partner in “logical egoism”, while logical partner
accuse ethical partner in carelessness and frivolity.
A.V. Bukalov, G. Boiko, “Why Saddam Hussein made a mistake, or what is
Socionics”
These relations are usually pleasant, but only for mutual leisure time.
It is difficult to accomplish something serious together because your
partner’s thought flow seems very hazy, as if in a cloud of smoke. His
intentions never fully get through - it is as if they get absorbed by a
wall of cotton. From this originates the inability of mirage partners to
fully understand one another. When discussing a problem, partners are
interested in different aspects, which often brings up a question: “how
can he be interested in such nonsense?” and leads to irritation. Same
applies to common work: partners support each other’s activities, due to
which a state of relaxation is induced. In family mirage partners can
display lowered interest in one another.
Victor Gulenko, “Criteria of reciprocity”
Interruption of comfort
Communication is not as interesting, as it is useful. Sense of comfort
is achieved only if partners communicate calmly. Disagreements and
disputes may arise quite suddenly. When both partners get into a
stressful situation, the balance in upset: they cannot easily calm each
other down. What is unpleasant is that at times your mirage partner may
rudely without warning interfere with your affairs. As a result you will
be prompted to confront him or her to reset your boundaries. Mirage
partner commonly does not fully approve of your interests and hobbies.
Discussions are not very productive.
Binary attributes of intertype relations
Mirage partners enjoy talking to each other one-on-one rather than
interacting with a larger group. Discussions which originate at the
influence of outsiders may lead to serious disagreements. This pair has
little interest in outside world and may isolate itself focusing on
their own internal world and problems.
Mirage relations are characterized by constant ebb and flow in
understanding between partners. They require that partners are able to
predict each other’s behavior depending on their mood. Discussions aimed
at finding truth, finding common point of view, etc. are not effective.
These relations require ability to reach a compromise. Partners are
often unable to work out any planned style of living together. Their
mutual plans also have a mirage, illusionary nature. Mirage is better
suited for leisure activities rather than productive work.
Mirage relations are characterized by refined lyrical emotional
atmosphere and a peculiar sense of humor. For mirage relations
variability of internal states is indicative - from alluring feelings of
harmony to real hate towards your partner. Changing lyrical and
nostalgic states, which periodically occur in mirage, strengthen the
confidence in each other, but at the same time provoke sadness for the
fragility of human happiness.
These relations become often infused with curiosity and at the same time
alarming premonitions. In these relations even if you experience
bitterness of failure, still you don’t lose faith that things will
improve. Strengthening of intuitive qualities of partners helps them
keep each other away from hasty actions and adapt to each other. In
mirage relations there are strong internal emotions. For stability of
relations mirage partners must sympathize for each other in their souls.
In these relations try to be responsive to your partner’s initiatives.
Mirage relations are also subject to inevitable break downs. Partners
may vie for autonomy, the right to have their own interests, different
from the interests of the other partner. In disputes, it is
characteristic for partners to insist on their own rightness without
trying to explain their point of view to each other. Increasing the
distance and spending some time away, however, both partners calm down.
Trying to logically prove that you are right in these relations, that
your decision of reasoning is the correct one, has a poor effect and
doesn’t work.
Advice for getting along
These relationships can be classified as spontaneous. It is meaningless
to wait for or demand some orderliness in behavior or to force your
partner to act against his will. Relations allow for joint work of
technical nature, but general entrepreneurial business activity in them
is quite problematic.
Do not search for logic in behavior of your mirage partner. It is better
not to argue about who is right, but have a heart-to-heart discussion
about life and its complexities. Relations are conducive to relaxation
and dreaming. They benefit from humor, from optimistic mood. They are
characterized by interaction within small social circles with elements
of sophistication and refined aesthetics.
Do not request hard commitments from each other. These relations are
stable under mild conditions and gentle forms of behavior. Pay close
attention to the mood of the other partner and adapt yourself
accordingly. It will become evident who is the leader and who is
following. Discuss strange, mysterious phenomena that inspire curiosity.
When one partner picks up an activity, the other should try to join in
and provide support without asking questions.
V.V. Gulenko, A.V. Molodtsev, “Introduction to socionics”
These are relations of relaxation. They are sufficiently comfortable and
pleasant and favorable for family life, but ineffective in common
activity. No other type of intertype relation has the same capacity to
relax, demobilize and demotivate partners as mirage relations. It feels
comfortable to sit around, rest and discuss extraneous issues with one’s
mirage partner. The person as if blurs, falls out of focus, turns into
shaky mirage. With such a partner one does not want to engage in any
serious undertakings. Thus mutual business activity is complicated.
Partners are completely at a loss when it comes to motives for each
other’s actions. What your mirage partner is striving towards seems
unsubstantial, undeserving of attention. Partners expect different
behavior from each other, thus they “cool” each other in whatever
activities they do undertake. It is as if they are playing a game of
broken phone. This kind of communication seems amusing from aside. It
resembles humorous dialogues between Shirvindt and Derzhavin, when one
abruptly and unceremoniously cuts the other off. The introverted partner
in these relations will try to impede attempts of the extraverted
partner to impose his opinion and reassert his autonomy. The extravert
partner will in turn want to re-make the introvert partner into a
“normal” person. Break ups in these relations are usually short lived.
Partners are drawn to each other. At the same time, each partner
evaluates the abilities of the other critically. At times relations
become very warm. This happens when partners talk less, do more, and
manage to accomplish something together. Discussions of results of
successfully finished joint projects are encouraging, but attempts to
start on a new project face the same difficulties as before. Together
partners find it difficult to achieve much because their ability to
assemble and perform organized work is much weakened.
Ekaterina Filatova, “Art of understanding yourself and others”
Here, just like in the case of duality, partners are able to help each
other through the connections between 2nd and 3rd channels. However,
there is no complementary connection between 1st and 4th channels. This
means that it is easier for partner to maintain good relations in
matters that are not very serious  for example, light conversations and
leisure time.
In these relations, it’s not readily evident that the 4th channel of
each partner is not receiving any support. Generally these relations are
quite pleasant, but no more than that. The strong functions of partners
are essentially the same, just of different orientation, thus the strong
function of a partner is not appreciated (as in “I can do the same”),
while the weak function is presented in an unfavorable light. Thus
partners perceive each other as not exceptionally significant or
authoritative, but charming and captivating persons, with whom it would
be nice to spend some time with but not get into any serious projects.
Exceptions are situations when mutual activity falls completely into the
area of influence of 1st channel. In family life, these relations can be
quite favorable, especially for those for whom the factor of
psychological comfort is primary.
It should also be noted that in mirage relations there is no
communication between identical functions. Therefore, if the partners do
not feel support for their weak functions from each other, they usually
cannot reach an agreement in their life positions.
Eugene Gorenko, Vladimir Tolstikov, “Nature of self”
Partners don’t have anything against each other and seem as very
pleasant people to each other. They are willing to spend free time
together, but taking on a serious tasks is difficult because each
partner is poorly understands goals and intentions of the other. These
relations are often conflict-free and have no ups and downs. Partners
have little in common in terms of mutual interest.
Sergei Ganin
These are relations of growing laziness. There are no other intertype
relations that can deactivate partners so much as Illusionary relations.
Illusionary partners find it comfortable being relaxed together,
discussing different subjects. What one partner is talking about is
always interesting, but in order to understand the partner better the
other partner needs to force themselves. This difficulty in making an
effort also makes achieving goals together almost impossible.
Mutual business or other activity is complicated, because Illusionary
partners do not understand the reasons and motives of each other’s
actions. Whatever one partner tries to achieve usually appears
insufficient and worthless to the other. Because partners expect
different kinds of activity from each other, they become negative and
may criticize each other’s intentions and objectives. For an observer,
this misunderstanding between partners can appear to be humorous.
The introvert partner usually tries to free themselves from the attempts
of the extrovert partner to impose their opinions. The introverts seek
independence. The extrovert partner wants to make their introvert
partner into what they consider to be a “normal person”. Both partners
are distrustful of each other abilities.
Disagreements in these relations are usually short because partners are
drawn to each other. From time to time Illusionary relations become
really warm and caring. It normally happens when partners work together
but not on the same task. Partners may feel inspired with the result of
a successfully finished project, however when they try to start a new
project, they again meet the same difficulties in co-operation.
Illusionary pairs
¶
ILE
and
IEI
SEI
and
SLE
ESE
and
EII
LII
and
LSE
EIE
and
ESI
LSI
and
LIE
SEE
and
SLI
ILI
and
IEE
Theoretical properties of illusionary relations
¶
Mirage partners share
Jungian dichotomy
of
Rational / Irrational. In rational mirage pairs, one partner is sensing
and the other is intuitive; both are either logical or ethical. In
irrational mirage pairs, one partner is logical and the other ethical;
both are either intuitive or sensing.
Model A
¶
Functions 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 reflect on functions 7, 6, 5, 8, 3, 2,
1, 4.
Functions of
Model A
¶
Partner 1
Partner 2
base function
ignoring function
creative function
mobilizing function
role function
suggestive function
vulnerable function
demonstrative function
Reinin traits
¶
As with all non-identical types, illusionary partners have exactly 7
Reinin traits
in common, with the remaining 8 not in
common.
Rational illusionary pairs:
In Common
:
rationality and irrationality
·
positivist and negativist
·
asking and declaring
·
ethics and logic
·
carefree and farsighted
·
constructivist and emotivist
·
judicious and decisive
Not in Common
:
sensing and intuition
·
yielding and obstinate
·
tactical and strategic
·
merry and serious
·
extraversion and introversion
·
static and dynamic
·
democratic and aristocratic
·
process and result
Irrational illusionary pairs:
In Common
:
rationality and irrationality
·
positivist and negativist
·
asking and declaring
·
sensing and intuition
·
yielding and obstinate
·
tactical and strategic
·
merry and serious
Not in Common
:
ethics and logic
·
carefree and farsighted
·
constructivist and emotivist
·
judicious and decisive
·
extraversion and introversion
·
static and dynamic
·
democratic and aristocratic
·
process and result
External Links
¶
Illusionary Relations
by
Sergei Ganin