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Forms of Love: Ancient and Novel by Meged
¶
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Published by
V. Meged
, 1992- 2002. This is an automatic translation–needs further translation work.
Original article.
We are given enjoyment not by what surrounds up, but by our attitude towards it.
- La Rochefoucauld
Introduction
¶
Love - is an individual creative work of human beings, thus it can be
said that however many people there are, there are as many kinds of
love. Yet, even in this most most mysterious and unfathomable field,
there are some laws and patterns that allow us to distinguish 8 basic
types of love.
Of course, the forms of expression of feelings - are not yet love, but
only the inclination towards one or another kind of it. Love - is a
multifaceted feeling that can be expressed in different ways. For it are
inherent: passion and tenderness, bliss and quiet tranquility, delight
and anger, joy and anxiety, fear and even anger. Nonetheless, no matter
how many colors and shapes may be in love, it is always striving for
understanding, spiritual closeness, common occupations.
Love - it’s intimate and profound feeling, with the desire for
commitment and constancy. It is characterized by the perception of the
other person as a unique and inimitable personality, his idealization.
This idealization not only dazzles loving, but, on the contrary, making
it “seeing” as it allows to see what others do not see in your favorite.
This feeling is not controlled by any mind or will, it can not be forced
to trigger or suppress. Love gives rise to the desire to reciprocity,
therefore stimulates a person to self-improvement and development of
their best qualities, making it more meaningful, more interesting.
Loving people often mentally seeks advice to the object of his senses,
evaluates himself, his thoughts and acts as if his position. This causes
the effect of the presence of a loved one, even if it is far away; focus
on his assessment, outlook, perception. With a harmonious blend of
reciprocity of feelings intensified over the years, with disharmonious -
multiply misunderstandings. In such cases, people are trying in vain to
explain the collapse of their illusions flimsy reasons, not realizing
that the reason is the same: love, they spoke different languages ??and
could not adapt to each other. Knowing the nature of their feelings, it
can be avoided.
Complete harmony, as well as complete happiness - are extremely rare,
but the path to it, though not easy, is only through the knowledge of
the characteristics of each other. And still - through a desire to turn
his attraction to a person in true love. And for this it is necessary to
understand the nature of love and the different forms of its
manifestation.
Not all relations can be called love, but the species can occur in any
situation, whether it is friendship or partnership, a passing
acquaintance or a long-standing desire.
For example, people who are inclined more to the sensual love, have at
its core the type of relationship - eros. This means that testing is not
attracted to each partner, people with this type of relationship over
the spiritual and intellectual proximity appreciate specific sensations,
carrying them joy in communicating with partners: delicious food, touch,
gifts, entertainment and other joint earthly pleasures. Vividly their
hedonism manifested in love; less pronounced in friendly and business
relations. In the case of aversion to the partner, a person with this
form of the senses produces the sharpest criticism often on aspects
related to feelings.
The forms of love are associated with certain features of character, on
the basis of which was created by the author’s typology of accents of
the characters with their corresponding forms of feelings and
relationships (character accents - complexes of certain character traits
associated with the projection of the elements of information exchange,
manifested in the psycho-physical level of personality).
To determine the nature of their accents, and then - the form of
feelings and relationships, we proceed to testing, which will be simple
and concise.
Test for Accentuations of Personality
¶
The test consists of an 8-scales with a set of relevant statements. Each
of these scales has its own drive letter and corresponds to a particular
accent character. To determine what the nature of accents you most
pronounced, read all of the text, noting in each scale number of
statements with which you agree, estimating the number of replies to the
pros, the relevant degree of your confidence in the correctness of the
chosen statement:
(+) - Yes, it happens quite often (most likely agree);
(++) - Yes, it happens almost always (agree);
(+++) - Yes, it happens always (totally agree).
Compare the results. In what scale advantages will be more - this is the main focus will be your character. Write down the letter abbreviation of the scale, which is best for you. Choose from the remaining 7-scales and the one that more than any other reflects your features and also make a note of its number.
Look, what of the remaining scales you could put on the third place.
Write her a letter. Perhaps this is not found, then you have only two
accent character. First, you select the main focus will be the following
- optional. Read their names that match the letters you have chosen the
Latin scales and discover the characteristics suggested below.
Note: If the predominantly positive statements you have selected two
test scale and accents your chosen correspond to the two leading
features of your type - congratulations: you are quite whole person, and
you have little internal contradictions. If you select two or more
scales and do not know which one to prefer, try to determine their main
focus character by choosing the most suitable characteristics (of the
alleged resulting from testing). Read the descriptions of his alleged
type accent and make his self-portrait, consisting of two or three
combinations of your type accents. If one or two of the chosen accents
do not match any of your two leading personality type functions -
perhaps in this lies the source of many of your problems and you need to
do psycho-correction.
The scale of “I”
I am very interested to deal with complex issues and to unravel the tangle of contradictions.
Thanks to his imagination and vision of different solutions to the problem I quickly find a way out of a complex, confusing situation of such provisions, which seem to be another hopeless.
I love all the unusual, mysterious and enigmatic.
I always consider the problem from an unexpected quarter.
I often light up a completely new and unusual speculation and I try to convince others of his findings.
I like to argue, as instantly notice the weaknesses of the interlocutor claims (whether in reports, speeches, proposals, projects, works of art or machines and mechanisms …). and I find strong counterarguments.
I quickly discover imperfections (defects) of almost any person.
I have little tolerance for subordination (obedience).
I perfect myself (their abilities and skills) in order to increase the chances of quickly achieve their goals.
I think a lot and compared, noting contradictions and inconsistencies.
Scale “T”
I’m drawn to create beautiful (harmonious) images in your mind.
I’m very curious, I try to imagine different scenarios and often intuitively foresee the consequences of certain actions or changes, I believe in fate.
My ideal - life in an atmosphere of art, in a beautiful environment full of comfort and well-being, so I would like to live in the past century or in the future.
I could not work in a hospital, t. To. I can not stand the hospital environment (specific odors, appearance of patients …).
I like all unusual, beautiful, informative, giving spiritual food: I love music, art, theater, books.
My opinion about yourself is more than the opinion of others.
I treat people ironically, but without humiliation of their dignity.
I am a self-contradictory and unpredictable in its decisions.
I need to art classes for me were a means of expression.
I act in order to be spread over the beautiful (harmonious, elegant, aesthetic, art objects, etc.).
Scale “F”
I’m an impulsive person ( with a twist).
At any moment I am ready to immediately respond to any attack against himself, and at any moment I can not answer his opponent
When I was humiliated, I feel stung by a strong desire to take revenge.
Stagnation and monotony prefer to struggle with difficulties: then quickly mobilizes, taking matters into their own hands, can be strong and steadfast, the victory must be for me.
Confident co-ordinating the actions of others, as well I feel vulnerabilities every situation.
my element - struggle (competition, contest, , ).
I have included in an active struggle against anything that is not consistent with my feelings and ideas.
I would like to be the first in everything and break all records.
I am a person gambling, but if necessary, I can bring myself to submit to the most severe discipline.
My head works better when someone opposes (contrary resists) me.
Scale “S”
I’m willing to cope with matters that relate to the need to convince people, to lift them up, instruct, assign tasks, manage, issue commands.
I become more active during the operation, the implementation of which promises to increase the respect and sympathy of those around me.
If I have to chastise man for any mistake or misdeed, I get it in a fatherly (without rancor and humiliation).
I like to participate in various mass meetings where I can make an impression on others.
I’m attracted to bright and noisy spectacle: the battle scenes, racing, sports (hockey, soccer …), etc.
I love to take care of others, and willing to take care of a solution to their material, business and physical problems, but I prefer to take care of themselves on their own, because I know better what I need.
I am eager to receive more earthly pleasures, which include: contact with nature, food, work, love, recreation.
I love to please others, to be the center of attention, to instill in them the optimism.
I surely have an impact on others, flexibly and efficiently supervise them.
I act diplomatically, to earn a good reputation, authority, occupy a high position.
Scale “P”
I try to be a competent person, do everything at your own pace, with high quality and not like hacks.
I treat people although rough, but fair.
I feel an interest in various technologies and constantly improve their work, ensuring its high quality.
I am rational in spending money, always make savings for unforeseen occasions.
I find it difficult to impose on other people’s ways of working, I know better how to easier, better and more profitable, you can do this or that thing.
I do not see the point of enthusiasm, which does not bring tangible benefits.
I am confident to overcome the difficulties in the work, while not achieve the best results.
I often feel such a passion for the work that retreats fatigue and appears a good mood.
I do not change their ways of life, even if people do not agree with that and I do.
I get the greatest pleasure from doing useful and necessary things.
Scale “L”
I broke down and a man of principle, guided by logic and reason rather than emotions and sentiments.
I love all of the order, the system sequence.
I believe the secretive and closed, because I treat people wary and distrustful.
I’m good at work that requires the classification and systematization. I was able to work with figures, tables, graphs, clearly systematize accumulated information.
I always know how to logically justify their conclusions and decisions.
I love all rigorously analyze and identify contradictions in the arguments and reasoning of others.
I like to solve problems with the help of knowledge, leading all in a slim streamlined system.
I love to solve problems that require a consistent, strictly logical approach.
I easily was given algebra.
I am uncompromising in defending his opinions, his intentions, plans, projects.
Scale “E”
I am a very emotional person: feelings mean so much to me that I can do for them great sacrifices.
I - an optimist who lives with hope for a better future.
I often changing mood and I could not help convey it to others; easy to quarrel and put up with people.
I often perceive people and events romantically.
I like to share their experiences and find their response. know how much love and hate.
Probably a lot, I imagine in pink light.
Always interested in the mood of others and know how to influence people, causing them to certain emotions and feelings.
I love to just dream (without any practical purposes).
For me, often characterized by swings between fear and hope.
For the rest, giving the opportunity to be alone, to dream, I am ready to sacrifice a lot.
Scale “R”
I prefer peaceful relations with people, avoid conflicts of disputes struggle.
I’m easy (fast) to adapt to new requirements and conditions.
I prefer to be a couch potato.
I would like to always be able to lie, when you want.
I like to provide specific assistance to people, be it a useful and enjoyable to do selflessly.
I am very sorry for the people to live out their failures and troubles as your own.
I - a man pliant: often yield to the pressure of people and circumstances, I agree with what I say …
I relaxed fit and burdensome (tiring) work.
I try to smooth out misunderstandings, to reconcile the dispute.
I prefer to meet in private.
The key to the test:
I - Dreamer
T - Forecaster
F - Conqueror
S - Epicurean
P - Professional
L - Logician
E - Romantic
R - Peacemaker
Brief Description of Accents of Personality
¶
Dreamer
- It’s very curious, inwardly rebellious people. Warmly
defending their intellectual convictions, but compliant and bear grudges
for practical or material matters. It has a strong associative and
imaginative perception. Full of ideas and proposals are not very
practical. Smart and resourceful. Quickly noticed the relationship
between seemingly different phenomena. Always see a lot of ways to solve
problems and can solve them quite unexpected ways to others. Rather
impulsive, despite the obsession with any new idea, it is not always
enough patience to bring the follow through, and it often interferes in
the achievement of life goals. Aversion to monotony, routine, templates
and regulations. Constantly it is in opposition to the existing order,
reluctant to compromise on that principle, but may lose interest in the
situation, if it is not resolved quickly for him and switch to another.
Forecaster
- People with a developed intuition, which enables it to
penetrate the thoughts of the past or future and to anticipate the
outcome of certain events. He is peculiar dissatisfaction reality and
the desire to change it. Therefore, it tends to self-improvement and is
never satisfied with the achieved. Hence - increased requirements for
self and others. In search of the elusive harmony is self-contradictory,
and prone to constant doubt, because of what often turns his attention
is distracted by new ideas or things. Interested phenomena of the world,
trying to understand its patterns and predict future developments. Has a
tendency to brooding about the laws of the universe, is interested in
the moral and philosophical or religious issues, the search for truth
and harmony in the world. It’s quite an original person, but because of
the amorphous temperament, unpredictability and uncertainty in the
performance of their obligations often causes polar assessment of his
personality.
Conqueror
- energetic, active, agile, in practical terms people.
Quickly is guided in critical situations. Hardy, is able to overcome
obstacles, not complaining about the difficulties. It features
quick-tempered, straight and uncompromising character. He knows how to
have his own. Intransigence and pragmatic, he goes to his goal no matter
what. Demanding and picky, intrinsically problematic, often quarrelsome.
He did not have enough tact and diplomacy in dealing with others. It’s
pretty sharp, assertive and intolerant people. He has few friends.
Epicurean
- realistic, confident person. Configured to receive from
a life all of its joys and pleasures. Gourmet, esthete, is not
indifferent to the quality of things. It - nedemonstrativny leader.
Active and energetic. Knows how to please people, carries them away. She
knows what she wants and always achieves its goals through the power of
will, tenacity and perseverance. The relationship is often stubborn and
does not like objections. Inclined to arrange everything so that it is
convenient to him. It does not always take into account the interests of
others, but can be diplomacy and courtesy, if necessary. His power is
manifested softly. Good sense of physical and material needs of others,
and is able to take care of everyone. It is not enough self-critical and
does not like criticism. Not averse on occasion to emphasize its
advantages.
Professional
- a good specialist, continuously improve its business
competence.He is hardworking, energetic and conscientious. On it you can
rely on at all. Respects primarily benefit expediency, quality,
accuracy, and precision in order affairs. Stubborn and consistent.
Because of this, it is often necessary to finish someone else’s work.
Trust only your and others’ experiences, as well as the facts and
verified information. It needs certain distance communication, to avoid
the emotional relationship to the partner. Not inclined to compromise,
but does not tolerate conflict, so in extreme cases can go on temporary
assignment in the affairs or relationships. He has difficulty in
expressing their feelings, so communication may look dry or cold person.
Logician
- a person with a strong analytical thinking. It
appreciates the logical arguments. It aims to order around, organizing,
structuring and categorizing. He skillfully planning their affairs, it
makes plans and schedules. Very patient, conscientious, scrupulous and
meticulous work. This is - a person methodical, steady, cook everything
in advance. He needs a quiet, private setting for reflection. Inclined
all be analyzed. Do not trust the assumptions not supported by facts and
figures. Lives more than reason, I am not inclined to give in to the
feelings to the detriment of expediency and common sense. Quite
inflexible in the relationship.
Romantic
- friendly, but very vulnerable, emotional and
self-contradictory man. Heavily dependent on communicating with others
from their own likes and dislikes, and related experiences, but tries to
hide it from others. It can exert a strong influence on other
manifestations of the power and depth of his feelings. He is able to
raise their spirit and mood, inspire any idea, but this behavior he is
not a deliberate tactic. Romantic does not aspire to power, rarely sets
the specific goals of a practical nature. Most disappointed in the
objects of their sympathy, but can not live without inner ideals. He
suffers from frequent mood swings and lack of confidence.
Peacemaker
- tactful person who is not peculiar ambition.
Peacefulness, sentimental and sensitive. Good and compliant. He knows
how to smooth out misunderstandings and to maneuver in relations. He is
well versed in the people and easily install the necessary distance in
dealing with them. Develops or alters relations, guided by the greater
interests of others than their own. It is quite forgiving of other
people’s weaknesses, and inclined to compromise for the sake of good
relations, so often abused his kindness. He suffers because of a lack of
willpower, perseverance and initiative.
Note: A detailed description of each type of characters you can find in
the article
Comperehensive Behavoral and Visual Characterizations of Representatives of Accentuations of Personality
Accentuations of Personality and Form of Relationships
¶
Knowing your accentuations of personality, you can get acquainted with
their respective descriptions of forms of love (or simply - forms of
relations):
Peacemaker, striving for complete harmony in relations, the most  typical is a compromise form of love - Storge.
For Romantic, experiencing the full power of emotions on him or  herself, typical form of love is - Mania.
Cold-blooded logician inherent love is - Analita.
Sober and practical Professional inherent love is - Pragma.
For Forecaster, often falling in love with a non-existent ideal,  typical most idealistic form of love is - Agape.
Dreamer, in need of understanding from others, inherent form of love  is - friendship Filia.
Epicurean, preferring the sphere of pleasant sensations, inherent for  of love is - Eros.
For the Conqueror, not inclined to compromise, typical conquering and  overwhelming form of love is - Victoria.
Characteristics of Forms of Love
¶
1.
Storge
- this is love-tenderness, that includes deep
understanding and compassion. The ability to compromise, kindness, and
ability to smooth out the contradictions are all inherent to such
feeling. This form of relations is characterized by: solidarity with a
partner in everything, leniency towards their shortcomings, pursuit of a
harmonious, stable, pleasant, and laid-back attitude. This is an ideal
form of love for family life, provided that the partner will show some
sensitivity. Excessive vulnerability of this feeling does not make it
resilient in all cases. The attraction of the soul is of main
significance here, prevailing over physical attraction. Storge
originated in antiquity, developed further during the Renaissance, and
in our time has not lost its relevance.
2.
Mania
- prolonged emotional ecstasy, obsession with love,
over-valuation of its significance, which leads to strong emotional
shocks, reckless actions, and even dramas. This feeling is strong,
possessive, demanding, thirsty for complete reciprocity, but also
capable of many compromises. This love is very enduring, even in those
cases when it is unrequited. Often it is capable of heroism and
sacrifice, and even unconditional devotion. It is full of
contradictions, since it is very dependent on changeable moods. Quarrels
may be frequent with this kind of love, as well as sharp contrasts in
behavior, even fleeting infidelity. It is the cause for unpredictable
actions and disregard for generally accepted norms of behavior. Mania
love exists since ancient times, but it became most widespread in the
20th century in Western Europe after the sexual revolution, whose
followers called for the emancipation of the senses and the denial of
the cold bourgeois rationality. It has not lost its relevance in our
pragmatic time, though it has become less dramatic.
3.
Analita
- a form of love for which the wish for calm and rational
relations is inherent. This love is individual-selective, with high
demands towards the object of feelings, with a tendency to become
disappointed in that person, if he or she did not meet some
expectations. This demanding attitude is devoid of idealism, but often
exceeds the real abilities of people. This feeling is intellectual, with
a tendency to think and analyze the behavior of the partner, while not
immersing in his inner world. It has an abstracting-generalizing nature,
with tendencies to draw conclusions detached from the object of
feelings; here, are a few emotions and sensations. Not marked by
propensity to yield and make concessions. Aspiring to a reasonable and
harmonious combination of intellectual needs and physical desires, the
owner of Analita form of love requires many concessions from his or her
partner. This form of love most clearly manifested in the 19th century
and is well reflected in the philosophy of Freud, Nietzsche,
Schopenhauer, and others. In many, who do not meet their ideal partner,
this form of love is transformed into its complete negation. In current
times of progressing equality of genders (biarhata) it gradually loses
its relevance and manifests less vividly, but it is still relevant.
Since no name was given to it in literature, the author has proposed her
own term.
4.
Pragma
- sober, pragmatic, and sensible form of love according to
a spiritual or material calculation. Despite certain ego-centrism, it is
oriented at a fair balance between “giving” and “receiving”. It presumes
relating to the object of one’s feelings with respect and with a wish to
understand them. This form of love is natural and rational in the
manifestation of its needs. It is characterized by an aspiration towards
mutual satisfaction of desires and interests, although personal
interests in it sometimes put above the interests of the partner. Habit
strengthens it, and over time the object of feelings turns into a
necessary possession, which is treated with much care. This form of love
was described by Spinoza. It was most popular was in the 18th century,
although it existed in all historical periods. It has not lost its
popularity in our time. Unions that are associated with it are called
marriages of convenience.
5.
Agape
- this is sacrificial and idealistic form of love. It is
based on tolerance at its foundation. This is a pretty stable feeling
with elements of fatalism. Its owner is able to forgive much and take
self-denial as granted. Refined and poetic, such love can exist for a
long time at a distance from the object of feelings, even without hope
for reciprocity. Within it lies the desire to protect one’s illusion
from any destructive actions from reality, thus in such relations there
is a tendency for self-deception. Despite its complex and contradictory
nature, it, more than other forms of love, predisposes to humility.
Sometimes a person who has this form of love has to take radical
decisions, for example, to part with a loved one out of their own
initiative. But the image of a loved one, even after a long time of
separation, can be observed loyalty. Spiritual desire here always
prevails over the physical. This form of love-humility became more
wide-spread with the emergence of Christianity, but it is still relevant
in our time.
6.
Filia
- this is a spiritual feeling, which is based on kinship of
souls, interests, and motives at its foundation - a kind of intellectual
communion. This feeling engenders friendship with sense of deep respect
and understanding. It has a very selective character, uniting
like-minded people and stimulating mutual development of capabilities.
This is a love between equal partners, that does not tolerate coercion
and, moreover, dictates in anything. People who are characterized by
this form of love can remain loyal only to a chosen partner who does not
disappoint them. They part without regrets with partners who did not
meet their expectations, or who are alien to them in spirit and ways of
thinking. They are much more tolerant of sexual disharmony. This form of
love was developed in the Renaissance, but was glorified even before
those times by Plato, and since then called platonic. Nowadays, it is
becoming increasingly important for groups and societies too saturated
by sexual permissiveness.
7.
Eros
- this is a passionate, powerful, and sensual attraction to
the object of love. Appearance and manner of behavior of a loved one are
of great value here. They evoke aesthetic feelings and reverence before
the outward perfection, often exaggerated - of face, figure, gait.
People for whom this form of love is predominant seek harmony of both
body and soul, and are able to turn a blind eye to minor flaws and
faults. Inspired by love, they are capable of great devotion, constantly
improving their own manners and ways of expressing their feelings, as
well as forms of their body, beauty of their clothes, aesthetics of
their environment. They willingly adjust and adapt their partner to
themselves. They give much importance to physical enjoyments. Not
finding the desired harmony, they become forever disappointed in the
object of their feelings, and easily part ways with him or her. This
form of displays of affection became widespread in ancient Greece, is
most characteristic of developed societies, and is still widely promoted
by the media and various forms of art.
8.
Victoria
- this type of erotic behavior is the most distant from
the intellectual and spiritual needs than others. It lacks in depth and
creativity. It is based on a pleasant feeling of conquering the object
of one’s feelings. This is a kind of game-struggle. If the conquered
person does not resist, interest towards him or her is quickly lost. For
introverts or ambiverts (less sociable people) this feeling can be very
stable and reliable, when a loved one is regarded as a necessary
possession. Attention to the partner manifests as never-ending demands,
which imply the best of intentions. This feeling can be quite
ego-centric, sometimes distant from compassion. In extroverts (more
outgoing people) this form of love often lacks consistency, since the
pursuit of sexual diversity that gives a sense of the joy of new
victories is inherent to it. The partner is often seen as an enemy or as
a fortress, that is taken by storm. The partner is looked down upon,
without mercy, and without any desire to achieve full mutual
understanding. This form of love originated in ancient Greece. It was
most popular during the times of slavery. Currently, in more developed
and spiritual societies, it loses its popularity. In American culture,
after the sexual revolution, the extroverted form of this love has
gained popularity, and has not lost its relevance to the moment. In an
archaic form, the introverted form of this type of love persists in
societies that traditionally assign women a secondary role.
Compatibility of Forms of Love
¶
Human life is rarely complete without love, but everyone loves in his
own way. We need to understand the main thing - a person can not love as
you want it. He likes the way he is by nature tend to. Your right to
take his love for what it is, or reject it, if this form of expression
of feelings you do not like. If you want to achieve harmony in the
feelings with someone you love, understand what forms of relationship,
each unconsciously expects from the other, and try to develop them in
yourself. They say that a habit - this is second nature, so desirable
over time, can become a reality. Consider the compatibility relations on
a purely personal, emotional level.
The most compatible combinations:
Storge and Pragma.  : The union of Peacemaker and Professional.
Mania and Analita.  : The union of Romantic and Logician.
Agape and Victoria.  : The union of Forecaster and Conqueror.
Filia and Eros.  : The union of Dreamer and Epicurean.
These opposite kinds of love are highly complementary. For example, a
very strong union forms between people with forms of love Storge and
Pragma, as with these feelings calm harmonious life that strengthens
relations is very much valued. Mania can significantly move its bearer,
who wants to meet the particularly high requirements of Analita
personality, who, in turn, balances with sober rationality impulsive
feelings of Mania. With the commanding proprietary Victoria only a
sacrificial feeling Agape can get along, capable of obeying the will of
another. As for the love form Eros, then only extensive capabilities and
imagination of intellectual Filia can retain for a long time the
interest of such a passionate and demanding partner. This is an
excellent union of mind, body, and soul.
Incompatible types of relationships include:
Storge and Analita.  : Gentle, vulnerable Storge cannot stand aloof and spiritless, strict  and demanding Analita. For Analita Storge is too primitive, boring,  and even saccharine. It is hard for them to find mutual understanding  and harmony in feelings.
Mania and Pragma.  : The cult of the emotions is not compatible with practical  calculation. Mania to Pragma seems restless and clingy, Pragma to  Mania - cynical and boring.
Agape and Eros.  : Melancholic Agape does not evoke admiration and excitement in Eros.  Eros wounds Agape by its high demands. In addition, the owner of Eros  does not need sympathy, pity, and humility, but rather an equal  partner, who evokes elation of feelings.
Filia and Victoria.  : It’s the age-old conflict between the spiritual and the corporeal,  between the desire for equality and subordination, between practical  interests and their neglect. They are not attracted to each other.
Combinations of types of relations with an average compatibility
(which with some fine-tuning can get along):
Storge and Victoria.  : Tactful Storge goes for compromises for the sake of harmony and  durability of relations. She is patient and with time softens  Victoria. Its ability to be flexible at times brings it closer to  Agape, that is necessary for Victoria.
Mania and Eros.  : The cult of love unites them and in the beginning makes their  emotions bright. Over time, fatigue sets in from satiation with  emotions, but Mania firmly holds onto Eros. Their relationship is  usually turbulent, but interesting for both. However, the exact  outcome here is not always predictable.
Agape and Pragma.  : Idealistic sacrificial attitude and sound calculation, despite some  friction, converge on the mutual desire for stability and permanence.
Filia and Analita.  : This is a highly intellectual union in which both strive for  perfection. However, for Filia there is not enough sensuality, and  for Analita - emotionality in their relationship, but they find  common interests that bring them together. They will part with each  other only because of ideological differences or intimate  dissatisfaction.
Partner can’t always adapt to each other with an average degree of
compatibility, but if it happens, they manage to get along.
There is another combination of forms of love with an average degree of
compatibility, when the partners mutually cancel/extinguish each other’s
feelings. In such cases, there is either no convergence, or people
quickly lose interest in each other and part. However, in some cases,
people in such couples adapt to each other under the pressure of
external factors: children, property issues, etc. But they strongly
irritate each other, which is difficult to endure if there is no love.
Extinguishing relations:
Storge and Mania.  : Tenderness and passion with shared focus on the cult of love at  first makes them very attractive partners for each other. But soon it  turns out that they understand love differently, and this is  disappointing to both.
Agape and Filia.  : Sacrificial attitude and equality together in love are mutually  exclusive. Problems in demonstrations of emotions and sexual  initiatives can extinguish both of them. Their interests are  spiritual, but different. They get bored with each other, although  superficial friendship relations can be maintained for a long time.
Analita and Pragma.  : Due to shared sober approach to love they first become interested  in each other, come together based on mutual respect, but it’s rather  cold for them with each other. The emotional side of love is not  expressed in this union. In addition, Pragma does not seek to become  the way Analita wants to see it. As a result, mutual disappointment  arrives.
Eros and Victoria.  : In the beginning this union may be turbulent. But Eros, that  strives for harmony in feelings and does not accept suppression of  personality, becomes disappointed in Victoria, and she, in turn, does  not try to keep him. They are both very independent and easily go  separate ways.
The problem of relations between people is complex and multifaceted. Of
course, approaches, that are based on understanding of relations on
emotional and sexual levels, do not completely solve the whole problem
of relationships, but they open up the curtain for understanding of this
aspect of relationships. For more complete understanding of problems of
personal relationships, we propose to take another step into this
innermost region.
Personality Accentuation and Types of Emotions
¶
Characteristics of emotion types corresponding character accents.
1. Altruistic emotions match the accent character Peacemaker, having a
form of relationship Storge. This peculiar form of emotions and the need
to promote concrete assistance to people who wish to benefit from them
and selflessly to please others. They have a sense of commitment,
participation, compassion, empathy, good luck and joy of others as their
own.
2. Communication emotions often inherent romance, media relations form
Mania. This is the need for emotional contact with people, elated,
ecstatic state of feeling and joy of communicating with people. The
greatest pleasure for them - to share their experiences and find their
response to love someone, the desire to gain the approval and
appreciation of others.
3. Gnostic emotions - the most complete experience with an emphasis
types of logic, who is most often seen form of Analita. The best part
for them - to solve problems through the acquisition of new knowledge.
To understand the difficulty of the question or solve a difficult
problem to overcome ambiguities in the reasoning, to understand the
phenomenon and experience the joy of discovering the truth and clarity
of thought gives them great joy
4. Practical emotions often characterized by professionals from his
usual form Pragma relations. The pleasure caused by hard work.
Enthusiasm useful and necessary thing, with great effort of will and
completion of his admiration for the results of labor. Rapture labor
process, when fatigue is forgotten and there is a good mood. The extreme
manifestation of this form of the emotions expressed in the tendency to
obsessive-compulsive disorder - it akizitivnye emotions . They are
expressed in the passion for accumulation or collecting things, often
unnecessary. For example, to get the desired thing, such a person can
break the law with all the ensuing consequences. But this is the area of
psychiatry and psychopathology.
5. Aesthetic emotions special pleasure forecasters usually in the form
of Agape relationships. It assumes immersion into the past or future,
escape from reality, enjoying the beauty of the outside world, volatile
and eternal. Those who have strengthened this form of emotions,
experiencing feelings of lyrical contemplation of the beauty and harmony
of the world. They are characterized by thoughtful, reverie, nostalgia
for the past or the future enthusiasm, optimism and faith in the best.
6. Romantic emotions greater inherent dreamer with his usual form Filia
relations. Connected with a sense of the mysterious and enigmatic. They
can be compared with the intriguing expectation of a miracle. It is the
joy of touching the unknown and unusual.
7. Hedonistic emotions - the main demand Epicure-shaped relationship
Eros. It is the ability to experience a great joy to meet physical and
spiritual needs, which are of particular spiritual comfort: delicious
food, comfortable touch to the skin and caressing dress, a pleasant
feeling of warmth or refreshing frosty air; the contemplation of nature,
the harmony of colors, beautiful people, plants, animals and insects.
Enjoying the silence, pleasant smells and sounds, the feeling of
relaxation and rest.
8. Glorifying emotions are more common in the winner with his usual form
Victoria relations. There are in the knowledge of himself at the center
of attention or feeling a sense of superiority over others. The absence
of this stimulus leads to a dissatisfaction. it is inherent desire to
win recognition and respect, be proud, or the desire to take revenge
after the defeat. The extreme manifestation - the so-called pugnicheskie
emotions . These emotions speak about the tendency to psychopathology.
This - the risk of intoxication sense, the game of life and death, the
excitement of the fight and desire to win at any cost.
Correspondence of Forms of Relations and Emotions
¶
Exploring forms of relationships, we noticed that there was some
relationship between them and the forms of emotion, described Russian
psychologist BI Dodonov. Having established these relationships, we have
a new classification of the forms of feelings and relationships If you
want to learn how to understand the emotional state of another person to
be able to bring him joy or achieve emotional harmony, you will be
interested to know what emotions bring the largest and most significant
satisfaction with the representatives of the various accents of nature
with forms of relationships inherent in them.
Typically, each person dominates the type of emotion that matches the
leading accent character. This does not mean that emotions do not fall
into the category of leading, do not deliver a man pleasure, or not
tested at all. Just the most typical type of emotions a person
experiences more and c greatest pleasure.
Introduction to the classification of emotions will help you to
understand why the other person, which is next to you, does not feel the
same joy as you do on those or other external emotional stimuli. Do not
accuse him of callousness or enthusiasm, or - even worse, indifference
only because he differently arranged.
Knowing the shape of human emotions you are interested, you can learn a
lot in him, in his reactions or expectations. This is another way to
compare your feelings and desires with the feelings of others and search
for a compromise that satisfies both sides fullest. In other words -
this is another step towards each other in the difficult and thorny path
of understanding.
So, let’s see what form of love - a relationship corresponds to some
form of feelings - emotions:
Relations type Storge often are characterized by the most deeply  and fully experienced Altruistic emotion, encourage compassion and  active assistance to people.
Relations type Mania - Communicative emotions arising as the  strongest emotional response to other people’s emotions.
regarding the type of Analita - often characterized by Gnostic  emotions associated with the analytical approach to the whole, and  the joy of knowing the different patterns of the world.
Relations Pragma type - characterized by more frequent than  others, feelings caused by the process and the result of the  so-called - Praksicheskie emotions.
regarding the type of Agape - tend to experience more complete  aesthetic emotions associated with spiritual values, art and poetry,  the beauty of the world and philosophy.
Relations type Filia - to the fullest extent inherent Romantic  emotion - experience the mysterious and enigmatic related to the  penetration into the hidden essence of phenomena.
Relations type Eros - quite earthly, carnal joy that bring  advanced in this case Hedonistic emotions.
Relationships of type Victoria - more than any other  characteristic of Gloricheskie emotions associated with the  realization of their own superiority over others, a tendency to  experience the thrill of satisfied ambition or vanity.
Ages of Love in Our Lives
¶
Types of relations that correspond to different age periods.
1. Childhood . The prevailing level of physical development. Boosts
introverted sensation reflecting proprietary feelings toward parents and
relatives. Selfishness is perceived by young children naturally. Their
heavy-handed “I want” - the law for others. Hard to bear a child
indifference close to his needs, parental loss, physical punishment,
suppression of his will. This indicates an increase in shade demanding
and possessive love - Victoria.
2. Adolescence. The onset of physical maturity. In the foreground
extraverted sensation caused by the pleasures derived from the outside
world and other people. The first caresses, erotic pleasure, delight in
the beauty in any of its manifestations. Many problems associated with
puberty and the possibilities of its satisfaction, as well as the first
sexual experience. All this reinforces the common to all of this age
form of love - Eros related to the field of sensations.
3. Youth . The joy of human communication, idealism and enthusiasm,
freshness of perception of the world, a lot of emotion. Love and love
again. In this age period a lot of emotional problems related to the
collapse of the illusion of unrequited love, the hurt pride. Mostly
ethical level of personality development, the related sphere of emotions
and kind of emotional behavior - Mania.
4. Youth. The acquisition of strong friendships and business
relationships, family, the birth of children. The role of family
happiness, tender and faithful love. Most in this age group suffer from
those who “does not add up” personal life. Form relationships prevail
over the form of emotion. The dominant form of relationship - Storge.
5. Start maturity . The role of professionalism and ability to provide
the material side of life. Acute dissatisfaction at this age experienced
by those who were unable to achieve this at this stage of life. Updated
business activity and with it the type of emotional behavior - Pragma.
6. Maturity. After forty years, the people want a stable and orderly
life. In place of ethical and business issues come the problems in
society and in the family. Tormentor this time for those who “did not
take place,” or did not receive the recognition and a reliable status.
They brewing reassessment of values ??- that is, mid-life crisis. A
related analytical period of life type of relationship - Analita an
impact on the behavior of people in this period of life.
7. Getting old . Wise life experience offers an intuitive period of
life, when a hint is set to conceal the essence of what is happening.
Knowledge and experienced feelings facilitates the search for
alternatives to solve problems. This is the period between when the
“youth know” and “old age may be.” It solves the set of increasing over
the years, family problems and problems related to health. The hardest
part is necessary for those who at this age are not able to solve them.
And even those who do not have close friends and spiritual life of the
satellite. It dominates in this age form of relationship based on the
spiritual proximity and common interests - Filia.
8. Old age . The most sentimental and wise period of life when the
resignation prevails, and “do not care who wins - him or me.” It brings
joy to grasp the beauty and harmony of the world. Feeling a sense of the
sublime renunciation and forgiveness. Idealize the past, worried about
the mysterious future. It brings comfort to religion. Vanity and
resentment - the enemies of spiritual harmony. There is a growing
spiritual and in a certain sense - more philosophical form of
relationship - Agape.
Perfect harmony could be considered a life in which every age stage have
successfully solved the corresponding emotional problems associated with
age-related forms of relationships. Since it is hardly possible, try to
eliminate in the first place the problems that are associated with
actualized at this stage of your life emotion forms. Then you will be
more likely to feel emotional comfort.
Additional Links
¶
Recommendations for Harmonization of Relations on Level of Types and Their Accentuations by Meged
Duality observations
Descriptions of Dual Relations by Gulenko
Duality Descriptions by Meged and Ovcharov
Making Duality Work by Meged
The Dual Nature of Man: Demonstration of Attitudes and Feeling in Pre-Marital Friendship
Relations of Duality Essays by Stratiyevskaya
Romantic and Sexual Behavior of Quadras and Subtypes