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Communication styles
¶
These descriptions were taken from a section of
V. Gulenko’s
article
Life Scenarios: From Ethical Feelings to Sensory Wishes
.
Passionate style: ExFx (SEE, IEE, ESE, EIE)
¶
Passionate communication style group is comprised of ethical extroverted
types: ENFp (IEE), ESFp (SEE), ENFj (EIE), and ESFj (ESE). This group is
most confident in their attitudes towards other people and not afraid to
openly show and talk of their feelings, likes and dislikes, and ethical
evaluations. These sociotypes are the most sociable ones in informal
contact.
Their position in a conversation is an active search for feelings. They
bring emotions to people around them. In their life scenarios, it is
typical of them to marry earlier on the average than individuals other
sociotypes. However, they also separate and divorce more frequently than
other sociotypes. These types understand dialogue as an exchange of
emotions, as a kind of “sailing” through active currents of life.
This group is designated as ER: their Ego blocks hold either ethics of
emotions E (Fe) as the first function, or ethics of relations R (Fi) as
the second function.
See also
Video Lectures: Passionate Love Scenario
Cold-blooded style: IxTx (ILI, SLI, LII, LSI)
¶
Cold-blooded communication style group is comprised of logical
introverted types: INTp (ILI), ISTp (SLI), INTj (LII), and ISTj (LSI).
People of these types are not confident in their feelings and act
restrained in their emotional displays. These types are the least
sociable ones in informal contact.
Their communication style is opposite to the “Passionate” group. Their
position in an informal dialogue is a passive anticipation of feelings.
Communication of these types flows according to established courses and
norms. Their life scenarios suggest that they marry later in life than
representatives of other types and are not inclined to re-marry. Their
marriages, as a rule, are the least successful. They understand
communication as an exchange of lacking information of explanatory
nature. Such communication doesn’t lose much if it is carried out only
in a written form.
This group is designated as LP: their Ego blocks contain either
structural logic L (Ti) as the first function, or business logic R (Te)
as the second function.
Business-inclined style: ExTx (LSE, LIE, SLE, ILE)
¶
Business-inclined communication style group is comprised of logical
extroverted types: ENTj (LIE), ESTj (LSE), ESTp (SLE), and ENTp (ILE).
These types make contact with others over their activities and direct
emotions at their work and their engagements.
Their communication style can be called an active expectation of
feelings. Business-inclined sociotypes expect to meet their other half
in the whirlpool of their activities. The standard image of a typical
man prescribes him an active position in life, but not in the area of
feelings. In romantic literature, the hero gets acquainted with his
future beloved by rescuing her from troubles. These sociotypes interpret
communication as a business cooperation.
This group is designated as PL: their Ego blocks contain either business
logic R (Te) as the first function, or structural logic L (Ti) as the
second function.
Sincere/Soulful style: IxFx (EII, ESI, IEI, SEI)
¶
Sincere/Soulful communication style group is comprised of ethical
introverted types: INFp (IEI), ISFp (SEI), INFj (EII), and ISFj (ESI).
This position can be described as a passive search for feelings. Being
ethical, “Sincere” sociotypes confidently choose a partner who has
appealed to them, but as introverts, they express their openness to
relational contact by indirect signals. This is the kind of behavior
that is expected from a woman during the premarital period in
traditional societies. These sociotypes are most inclined to
“home-making” with stereotypical distribution of roles: man  as the
bread-winner and defender of the family, woman  as the guardian of the
family and nurturer of children. They understand communication as an
exchange of signs of soulful/heartfelt attachments.
This group is designated as RE: their Ego blocks contain either ethics
of relations R (Fi) as the first function, or ethics of emotion E (Fe)
as the second function.
Favorable communication scenarios
¶
4.1.
For analysis of intergroup relations, I will be relying on the
following, known to me through experience socionics observations and
consultations, tendencies in life:
Ethical type is instinctively drawn to logical type, and vice versa.
The psychological atmosphere in a purely logical pair turns out to be
too dry and boring, and in a purely ethical pair - very hectic and
overloaded with emotions. Secondary in strength attraction is
possible between two logical types if one of them has intensified
emotionality, or between two ethical types if one of them possesses
intensive logical inclinations.
Introvert is instinctively drawn to the extrovert, and vice versa,
although the strength of this attraction and not as strong as in the
first case. Extroverts win over, and introverts allow themselves to
be won over. Peaceful coexistence of the two extroverts is possible
only when they artificially divide their spheres of activity. Almost
always, however, in such pair there arises a struggle for power, and
the loser feels himself slighted. The union of two introverts may not
be as unfavorable if one of them assumes the role of an active in the
external world person. Without such special measure, this pair is
practically destined to self-isolation.
4.2.
Conducting socionics consultations for harmonization of interpersonal
relations in a couple, it is recommended to consider the following
averaged scenarios of intertype dynamics.
“Business-like” (PL) and “Sincere” (RE) types.
The successful combination of these two types of communication styles
allows to achieve homeostasis  a self-sustaining state of
equilibrium within the system and in its external interactions with
the environment. In the event of internal disagreements between the
partners, the “Business-like” partner, as an extrovert, actively
influences the “Sincere” partner, who without much resistance yields
to his influence. Due to “Sincere” partner’s ability to smooth out
the sharp edges equilibrium is restored. When this couple has
conflicts with others people, the “Sincere” partner feels more upset,
since he/she is an ethical type. However, due to introversion,
“Sincere” partner simply presents the problem to the “Business-like”
partner, who undertakes appropriate measures. As a result, this pair
is stable against destructive external influences.
“Passionate” (ER) and “Cold-blooded” (LP) types.
This is another good combination of types of communication, capable
of providing natural self-regulation in a couple. This scenario
unfolds as follows. In the event of internal conflicts in this pair,
the “Passionate” partner begins to influence the “Cold-blooded”
partner from the position of extroverted expansion in order to change
his partner’s behavior to his favor. However, the “Cold-blooded”
partner, being little inclined to emotions, does not give in to these
attempts. However, over time his behavior changes simply as a
consequence of changes in his own assessment of the situation. The
“Passionate” partner feels satisfaction from this, and by that time
his ardor has already cooled down, and conflict naturally
extinguishes itself. In the case of external aggression, the
“Cold-blooded” type is inclined to ignore it and continue with his
activities as if nothing has happened. This restrained position is
very appealing to the “Passionate” partner, for it allows him to take
care of the emerging ethical issues on his own.
The types of interactions described above contain, in generalized form,
4 intertype relations. The most successful combinations are dual pairs
LSE-EII, ILE-SEI, SLE-IEI, and LIE-ESI, followed by semi-dual,
supervision, and conflict relations. Even conflicting relations, when
partners gain certain safe distance, possess stability. In dual
relations, on the contrary, homeostasis is reached only at close
communicative distances.
4.3.
The following two kinds of relationships provide psychological
homeostasis only partially. Compatibility between them is of average
significance. Either internal disagreements or external destructive
influence can undermine these relations.
“Business-like” (PL) and “Cold-blooded” (LP) types.
Events in this pair usually follow this scenario. Both partners in
this pair are quite indifferent to ethical influences.
“Business-like” partner tries to use “Cold-blooded” partner for his
purposes, but his efforts don’t lead to anything. Over time and after
a series of unsuccessful attempts, the desire of “Business-like”
partner to change situation to his own tastes fades, and partners
start drifting apart. Internal equilibrium, nevertheless, is attained
in this way. In relation to people around them, this pair turns out
to be insensitive. Each is busy with something of his own. However,
if external influences are so strong that they affect the
low-activity ethical functions of partners, quarrels begin between
them concerning how to respond. This impaired balance with the
outside world for them is very difficult to restore.
“Passionate” (ER) and “Sincere” (RE) types.
The particularities of adaptation to each other here are as follows.
Each partner in this pair, being an ethical type, has a good sense
and understanding that any conflict that arises between them has a
very negative impact on life and activities of the other. However,
only the “Sincere” partner will try to change his or her own
behavior. The “Passionate” partner will only demand change in
partner’s behavior. Since the “Sincere” type will usually yield,
peace will be recovered after a series of emotional outbursts. If
this pair has conflicts with others around them, events immediately
become dramatized. In this pair, there is an observable tendency to
transfer any impairment in external relations to their own internal
conflicts. Any discussion of external events can easily lead to a
quarrel. The driving force of such a scenario - an excess of
emotions. Equilibrium of this pair is thus unstable against internal
differences.
Less than optimal scenarios
¶
“Passionate” (ER) and “Business-like” (PL) types.
This life scenario is perhaps the most dynamic and controversial one.
Since both partners are extroverts, each partner tries to change the
behavior of the other. Both are active and do not wish to adapt to
the other. “Business-like” partner finds an outlet in an even greater
amount of work and activities, while “Passionate” partner attempts to
sort out their aggravating relations. Conflict becomes even more
inflated due to this. In relations with people around them, both try
to actively influence the outside world and begin to compete with
each other for leadership. With this, the “Business-like” partner
plays a more active role in these collisions, because he believes
that the “Passionate” partner’s lack of emotional restrained harms
their common cause. This pair is quarrelsome: it is very difficult to
achieve stability in it against both internal and external negative
factors.
“Sincere” (RE) and “Cold-blooded” (LP) types.
This life scenario is infused with internal contradictions and
oscillations. Due to introversion, in the event of disagreements,
each partner seeks to change primarily himself or herself. However,
the response of “Sincere” partner comes quicker and is more
noticeable. Thus, he begins to believe that he is sacrificing himself
for the sake of peace in this relationship. “Cold-blooded” partner as
if doesn’t notice these peace-ensuring actions. An impression arises
that he does not appreciate the sacrifices of the “Sincere” type.
This creates tension in their relationship. At the same time, neither
of them can change the surrounding them world towards a more
favorable for them outcome due to their introversion. Therefore,
external negative impacts on such a pair can easily destroy it. The
more unstable in this respect turns out to be the “Sincere” partner,
having sensitive perception of external sympathies and antipathies.
Consequently, this pair does not have effective mechanisms for
maintaining homeostasis.
Two “Business-like” (PL) types.
Both seek to influence their partner for the sake of achieving their
own goals, but both are also unreceptive towards such influences. As
a result of this, brief but intense conflicts often break out in such
a couple. Both attempt to influence people around them, but don’t
really know how to coordinate their actions. Each does everything for
the purpose of turning the course of events in his favor.
Compatibility improves only when both stand as a united front against
an external competitor or opposition.
Two “Passionate” (ER) types.
In such highly communicative pair petty accusations against each
other cannot be avoided. Each will try to affect the other in an
extroverted manner, but neither of them gives way. It will seem to
both of these partners that the other does not understand them, so
there will be a strong desire to sort out relations. However, any
attempts to prove one’s correctness to the other partner usually lead
to nothing. Due to this, conflict does not fade for a long time. In
contact with their environment, both compete in the emotional impact
on it. Such a pair is easily made to quarrel, since the emotional
excess in it must find an outlet. In the case of defending mutual
interests against external encroachments the coordination of joint
activities is complicated. Reaching equilibrium in communication for
the long term in this pair is unrealistic.
Two “Sincere” (RE) types.
Each partner in this pair will try in every way to avoid collisions.
This stabilizes the couple as a whole. However, if a conflict between
them does arise, its cause will be seen in the actions of the other
partner. This reduces the degree of reciprocity in relations.
Although this pair easily compromises, it is also touchy and lacking
in honesty. External problems each partner tries to solve
independently, without the help of the other, as each soon becomes
convinced that prompting the other to extraverted actions doesn’t
lead to anything. The consequence of such a position - is mutual
disappointment in the competitiveness of each other. However, the
existence of a common acceptable goal or purpose can unite “Sincere”
couple quite strongly. This goal should be in maintaining a warm
psychological atmosphere and existing relations within the framework
of significant to them micro-collective. For example, in raising
children.
Two “Cold-blooded” (LP) types.
Rather unfortunate life scenario due to lack of activity and
emotional warmth. Each of the partners is insensitive to the efforts
of the other and responds to his actions with much delay. Therefore,
although this couple rarely conflicts, there is practically no
positive cooperation between them. One partner leaves the other
partner alone, and is content that he’s not being bothered himself.
Emerging conflicts fade rapidly, since no one “adds fuel to the
fire”. When external circumstances change, each partner tries to
independently adapt to the changes. Help for each other turns out to
be minimal. Due to this, an atmosphere of alienation arises in this
pair. Uniting goal or purpose can improve compatibility in this pair,
such as development of methods, procedures, schemes, instructions, or
forecasts.
“Benefit” types are better suited for joint enterprises than identical
or business types. It has been observed that “benefactors” become pulled
to their “beneficiaries”, hoping to find in them “contractors”
(“executors”) of their ideas and plans [4].
Small Groups
¶
Quadras
Alpha
Beta
Gamma
Delta
Clubs
Researchers
Socials
Pragmatists
Humanitarians
Temperaments
EP
EJ
IP
IJ
Communication Styles
Business-like
Passionate
Cold-blooded
Sincere
Romance Styles
Aggressor
Victim
Caring
Childlike