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Recommendations for Harmonization of Relations on Level of Types and Their Accentuations by Meged
¶
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Published by
V. Meged
, 1992- 2002. This is an automatic translation–needs further translation work.
Original article.
Introduction
¶
People’s lives seldom transpire without love, but each person loves in
his or her own way. The most talented in love are people with
accentuated ethics; the most sensual are those whose ethics is tied
together with sensing. This can be expressed as leading functions, as
well as auxiliary ones. People with accentuated logical, rational
functions seem colder in love, especially if they are connected with
intuitive functions, that strengthen detached mental and spiritual views
to the detriment of sensuality.
It is necessary to understand the main thing - that a person cannot love
how you would like him or her to love. A person loves how he or she was
designed by nature to love. You can accept his or her love for what it
is or reject it, if such form of display of feelings does not please
you. If you wish to reach harmony in feelings with the person whom you
love, then try to study and understand what form of love he or she
unconsciously awaits for and develop this form in yourself. As it is
said “habit becomes one’s second nature”, thus the desired can, in due
course, can become the real.
Forms of feelings and attitudes in many respects depend on accentuations
of a person’s TIM. Accents of TIM, especially when they are strongly
developed and atypical, can create significant deformation of types
making them approach some other types. But when accents of type
correspond to its leading functions (and this happens in typical cases
for diagnostics when we deal with “pure” types), then there are no
disagreements between person’s accentuated functions and those of the
type. Besides, even for people with altered, non-standard types some
typical TIM-forms of feelings and attitudes are expressed. This allows
to make recommendations about the emotional fine-tuning to types in the
form of the analysis of interaction of dual pairs. In case of strongly
deformed types if they are considerably displaced aside other types, it
is necessary to consider the given recommendations any more so much for
the basic, initial type, how many for accented. So, for example, if at
ILE there is a strong accent on strong-willed sensorike as it logik (and
intuitively-touch subtypes, as well as types, do not happen), means such
ILE is displaced to type SLE. In that case partner SEI displaced aside
of type IEI, that is with the strengthened ethics and intuition is
necessary to it.
Note
Editor’s note: For an explanation of forms of love (e.g. Filia, Analita, Storge) and their compatibility descriptions see
Forms of Love: Ancient and Novel by Meged
.
ENTp + ISFp : The Innovator and The Intermediary
¶
“The Innovator” = ENTp = ILE (Ne-Ti)
“The Intermediary” = ISFp = SEI (Si-Fe)
ILE: Innovator
¶
The combination of love
Filia
and
Analita
is typical for the INNOVATOR, which plays out as follows:
First, the INNOVATOR creates a certain ideal in his imagination that
reflects his particular requirements from a partner. Then he closely
inspects the object of his sympathies and searches in this person
qualities that are attractive to him and would evoke his admiration and
respect. This person should be: more intelligent, more beautiful, more
kind, more talented than the others. At the same time, complete mutual
understanding and sharing of views and convictions are also needed. With
this, his partner shouldn’t demonstrate even a hint of own superiority,
moreover, it is desirable that this persons recognizes INNOVATOR’s own
unique talents and positive qualities.
The INNOVATOR needs a partner-friend, who, despite their equality in
relations, will recognize his authority and his right to personal
independence. It would be even better if such a partner could relieve
him from household concerns and hassles, asking for help only on
occasion, and the remainder of the time that he wouldn’t interfere and
distract the INNOVATOR from his favorite involvements, even if these are
just hobbies.
As the INNOVATOR has prevalence of the creative form of personality, he
needs a harmonizer, who is able to undemonstratively and unobtrusively
predispose him towards compromises, by means of diplomatic methods -
from gentle caresses to emotional shake-ups, but without excess
dramatism - so that things won’t come to a break-up of their relations.
The INNOVATOR cannot stand routine and dislikes submitting to someone’s
strong will. Skillful is absolutely necessary for him.
SEI: Intermediary
¶
The INTERMEDIARY is inclined to forms of love of
Eros
and
Mania
.
This is a sincere and caring person. His love - is a mix of erotic and
soulful feelings. This kind of love is capable of forgiving much,
forcing him to adapt to his partner and to adapt his partner to himself.
The INTERMEDIARY can show understanding even if he doesn’t share the
interests of the INNOVATOR.
Softening his partner with his own sensuality and tenderness, he can
relax the INNOVATOR during his periods of crisis, and bring him
enjoyment and pleasure. In exchange the INTERMEDIARY requires reciprocal
help and support in everything, as himself he is somewhat lazy and
disorganized. With the same qualities of his partner he is able to
either reconcile or struggle with them.
The INTERMEDIARY needs a partner who, while making high demands of him
and stimulating him towards self-development, nevertheless, makes some
concessions under his fine-tuned emotional influence. The INTERMEDIARY,
for whom harmonizing form of behavior is the prevalent one, knows how to
not take things to a crisis point, and sacrifices much for the sake of
his interesting and unpredictable partner. It satisfies him that the
INNOVATOR to a greater degree makes intellectual demands instead of
household ones.
Prolonged physical exertion - is not for the INTERMEDIARY. His care is
most often shown in minor favors and services, in sympathy, in creation
of comfort and conditions for work. He is attracted by love of the
INNOVATOR, which presumes equality in everything and a uniform
distribution of duties and responsibilities, and with other requirements
the INTERMEDIARY will manage, so great is his desire to keep his
partner. For this purpose the INTERMEDIARY at times resorts to such
measures as jealousy. Teasing the partner, and even actually admiring
and taking an interest in other people, the INTERMEDIARY usually is able
to stop in time.
INTj + ESFj : The Analyst and The Communicator
¶
“The Analyst” = INTj = LII (Ti-Ne)
“The Communicator” = ESFj = ESE (Fe-Si)
ESE: Communiactor
¶
For the COMMUNICATOR a combination of forms of love
Mania
and
Eros
is characteristic. Similarly to the INTERMEDIARY, this type of the
person is meant for an enthusiastic, but not idealistic rather corporal
and sensual kind of love. The COMMUNICATOR is cheerful, optimistic, and
can endure a lot from the object of his feelings. Despite his
emotionality and sensitivity, he is quite an imperous and strong
character. Readily forgives and usually doesn’t hold grudges. Therefore,
his ability to adapt and adjust his partner to himself (even a more
stubborn one than the INNOVATOR) is greater than that of the
INTERMEDIARY.
Besides this, the COMMUNICATOR it is very active and initiative-taking
in business matters. He can, if necessary, take on a greater share of
household responsibilities and issues. Even if their execution isn’t
completely effective, the ANALYST may simply not give this any
attention.
Erotic stimulus and recklessness of this passionate and persevering
conqueror make him capable of many compromises for the sake of feelings.
Not seldom does he become a victim of the uncontrollable and imperious
desires. Only inherent to him cheerfulness and a sense of humor help him
overcome all obstacles on the way to his goal, not taking close to heart
neither the coldness nor even flat refusals of a partner - for as long
as this person is of interest for the COMMUNICATOR. His belief in
success and reciprocity does not run low even in the most hopeless
situations. Only a deep disappointment in the qualities of a partner,
which for him constitute the highest values (fidelity, decency,
consistency, good manners, intelligence, etc.) can dampen the ardor of
COMMUNICATOR.
If he manages to win over his partner, whom he has fallen in love with,
he does not consider any formalities. His emotion and desire is so great
that is makes him close his eyes to much. When this fervor passes, and
the COMMUNICATOR starts to notice flaws of his loved one, the events
develop as follows: if the partner does not become boring and
predictable, he is valued, re-educated, but nevertheless adapted to. If
he is completely obedient, but also, in many respects has disappointed
the COMMUNICATOR, demands towards him increase, comparisons start of him
to others, and even taking an interest in new objects of love with the
same fervor and passion.
LII: Analyst
¶
The ANALYST has a combination of forms of love
Analita
and
Filia
.
He is sufficiently uncompromising in relations, as a rational logical
type, and puts interests of business above feelings, even to a greater
degree than the INNOVATOR. These qualities leave traces and on his
behavior in love, making him particularly independent and inaccessible.
His requirements towards his partner are very principled in their
nature, although due to inclination towards love Filia he doesn’t
possess authoritativeness. He understands equality, first of all, as
autonomy of partners, their independence, and only after that - as a
commonality of interests.
To become liked by him and to correspond to his ideal is difficult
enough. He is reserved and private, and not always states his wishes
(for example that nobody should interfere with him living how he wants).
He easily becomes disappointed in a person who doesn’t meet his
requirements. What is needed is reckless passion of his life-loving and
persevering dual, who is capable of many compromises to keep such an
clever and serious partner.
The ANALYST, despite his external coldness, can temporarily take an
interest in a partner. In such cases, he attributes to the object of his
feelings those qualities without he cannot imagine his chosen person. In
this he is helped by idealism of love Filia. However, when the first
impulses of feelings cease and illusions dissipate, the ANALYST can
leave the person who hasn’t justified his hopes without a regret. The
one who wishes to keep the ANALYST will have to not only take on many
household cares, but also share his interests, become his friend and the
assistant in everything. His partner should give him free reign, not
force him to anything, not be jealous, and not interfere with him calmly
living his life.
ISTj + ENFj : The Inspector and the Instructor
¶
“The Inspector” = ISTj = LSI (Ti-Se)
“The Instrctor” = ENFj = EIE (Fe-Ni)
EIE: Instructor
¶
The combination of forms of love
Mania
and
Agape
make this type of person most dependent on the object of his feelings.
He readily makes a connection and becomes bound to the object of his
feelings, and is impressionable and vulnerable. At the same time, he can
be capricious and whimsical and often unpredictable in his behavior.
Therefore, love for this type of person happens most turbulently and
often comes to an unsuccessful end, unless he happens to meet a partner
who can tame his contradictory and inconsistent character,
counterbalance his feelings, keep him away from extremes in statements
and actions.
The INSTRUCTOR needs an attentive, calm, cold-blooded, strong and
confident in himself person. His spiritual, idealistic passion so is
great, that it makes him capable of many sacrifices for the sake of his
loved one. He can put aside any formalities and reservations, even step
over the law. For the sake of his chosen person he is capable of any
feats, and even misconducts depending on his own moral foundations.
Despite frequent fluctuations in mood, contradictions of feelings and
desires, the INSTRUCTOR is capable to forgive much to keep his loved
person, but only until the feelings are strong. His love can be
insistent, even at times obtrusive; it can sweep away all barriers on
its way.
The INSTRUCTOR is capable of idolizing the object of his love for a long
time, even not seeing and not having any hopes. He is able to have faith
and to wait for long, if he has even small hopes for reciprocity. If the
person has disappointed him, he is capable of radically changing his
attitude towards him: he becomes derisively haughty, venomous and harsh,
not having the forces to forgive his partner the crumbling of his
illusions. Given an opportunity he will willingly take revenge on the
one who has forced him to be disappointed and suffer, but will try to do
it very subtly.
The INSTRUCTOR takes everything close to heart. He does not have
sufficient sense of humor and confidence in himself that is inherent to
COMMUNICATOR. Therefore, he is sometimes a little bit indecisive,
aristocratically restrained, and takes a waiting position in love. But
this lasts only until the object of his feelings gives him some hope for
reciprocity. Then, it becomes difficult to restrain him or persuade him
otherwise. He becomes capable of any risky acts, inventive, persevering,
and unmatched in his skill to become irresistible, though his feelings
are more spiritual, elevated, and less sexual, than those of
COMMUNICATOR. With this he conquers his partner.
Having good artistic abilities, the INSTRUCTOR can exaggerate his
feelings and sensitivity in the eyes of his partner, which he frequently
uses to obtain reciprocity. If he is neglected during such moment, this
can push him towards any reckless actions, even suicide.
LSI: Inspector
¶
This type of the person combines rather harsh forms of love -
Analita
and
Victoria
,
that makes him a rather principled and imperious partner.
The INSPECTOR is obstinate and demands that his loved person does not
contradict him in that which he considers to be correct, but willingly
takes his advice concerning methods of doing things, working, setting up
his life, etc. He himself aspires to order and demands the same from his
partner. While at this, he often uses old conventional methods,
rejecting any innovations. His conservatism is unconquerable.
Being a sober realist, he seldom loses his head from love and does not
respect easily available partners. Subconsciously he expects from them
such heat of feelings that will take over his distrustfulness and
coldness and provoke a reciprocal reaction. From common sympathy to deep
feeling for the INSPECTOR lies a long path. However, resistance of
object of love can ignite in him the passion of a hunter, owing to the
presence of love Viktoria. In that case it, this externally
undemonstrative person can show unexpected emotional reactions. He
becomes generous, jealous, passionate, and even romantic. But this lasts
only until the goal is reached, or until his partner disappoints him
somehow. Even then he may try to patiently re-educate his partner,
trying to make him approach his ideal. This is induced by love Analita.
The proprietary love Viktoria makes him a reliable, although also
imperious partner. He, as an introvert, does not require many victories
- one is sufficient, but the kind that is constantly supporting his
confidence and awareness of his authority over the person whom he loves.
Neglecting his authority leads to development of various complexes and
makes him irritable. He is too much of a leader in his character, even
if he seems soft and considerate in interaction at first place. And he
is never happy with a person who wishes to control and manage him. He
needs a partner who is yielding, pliable, vacillating, doubting,
sacrificial, and passionate in display of his feelings. Then he can be
lenient towards his partner’s emotional flare-ups, caprices and whims,
knowing that last word still remains with him.
Jealousy in small doses stimulates him. The physical attraction to a
partner often prevails over the spiritual, but he also has developed
intellectual interests and it’s a good turn of events if common causes
and interests bring him together with a partner. Otherwise together with
him it is difficult to feel sincere comfort and completeness of mutual
understanding, in spite of the fact that he can be very caring, hardy,
and reliable partner in life.
Being very demanding of himself and of his partner is characteristic of
the INSPECTOR. Therefore, he feels truly disappointed if his advice and
remarks are not listened to and appreciated. In turn, he is readily to
admit that he was wrong if his conversation partner manages to find the
same logical argument that he usually uses as support. Claims and
demands stated in emotional form without the weight of facts and proofs
usually have no success, and can even be perceived as attempt to impose
one’s will on him and to subordinate such staunch character as the
INSPECTOR. In such cases, he can show strong resistance and even display
aggression. With any business that the INSPECTOR becomes engaged in, he
puts in a maximum of effort and diligence.
ESTp + INFp : The Leader and The Lyricist
¶
“The Leader”= ESTp = SLE (Se-Ti)
“The Lyricist” = INFp = IEI (Ni-Fe)
SLE: Leader
¶
Similar to the INSPECTOR, this type has a combination of
Victoria
and
Analita
forms of love. But the LEADER - is an irrational type, and consequently
acts with less inhibitions in the sphere of feelings. He is more
susceptible to external influences and less consecutive in his decision
making than the INSPECTOR, and additionally he is an extrovert which
makes him less constant in his feelings. Though the interests of
business prevail over emotional interests for him, he can be very
sentimental and romantic in displaying his feelings.
The LEADER is sufficiently initiative-taking in achieving what he wants.
He is daring and active. Can be the first to admit his feelings for
someone if he sees that he has chances of succeeding. Unfortunately, at
times he makes a mistake, confusing the desired for the real. But this
does not make him pull back and withdraw. Victoria draws him to new and
new victories, while analita makes great demands of his chosen ones. He
will consider his partners to be the culprits of his quite frequent
disappointments, but not himself. He leaves his past partners without a
regret, and as an active extrovert goes searching for new acquaintances.
Feeling tired of the search of perfection, he finds consolation in his
work, in his career, in improving his prosperity, and/or in wine.
In cases when he does find happiness in love, he can be a loyal partner,
though often he cannot refuse himself in casual sexual contacts. In this
case, he has to apply much effort into hiding them. Quarrels with his
chosen person refresh his feelings and make them stronger, especially if
in process he becomes convinced that his partner loves him very much.
Feelings of pity towards his partner soften him, while the feeling of
victory over his partner makes him happy and confident in himself. He
likes capricious, whimsical, and coquettish partners who evoke the
feelings of jealousy, but who prefer him over the rest. Not finding his
ideal he can turn into a Don Juan, unless some large goal happens to
involve and put him in strongly enough.
IEI: Lyricist
¶
The combination of forms of love of
Agape
and
Mania
makes this type be very idealistic, impressionable, and dependent in
love. Similarly to the INSTRUCTOR, this type has the same combination of
forms of love, and can forgive much to the person who is dear to him. As
an introvert, he is cautious in his actions and calmer in his feelings,
and his makes him a more appeasable partner, which compliments his dual
who is not distinguished by tolerance. As well as at the previous pair,
it is not the search for compromise between reason and feelings that
prevails here, but more likely issues of authority and submission, which
finds a strong reflection in their emotional relations.
LIRIK, as an irrational type that relies on destiny, is more optimistic
and carefree than the INSTRUCTOR, but his weakness of will and
capricious character quite often make LIRIK a toy in hands of a stronger
partner, or even a victim of circumstances against which he finds it
difficult to struggle. Therefore he is unconsciously attracted to strong
personalities who are capable of protecting his interests. He is
sufficiently observant, especially when it comes to another’s emotional
state, and knows how to direct the feelings of his partner, taming his
aggressive tendencies by both humility and unexpected resistance.
If LIRIK falls in love, this is for a long time. His love is gentle,
poetical, sacrificing, patient; he is able to wait and hope for a long
time, even not having any chances for success. Attraction often turns
into obsession. Ability to idealize the object of his feelings is so
great that it is difficult to disappoint the LIRIK. He can endure many
insults and humiliations, can sacrifice much and reconcile with much,
only to not lose hope for reciprocity.
Only a new ideal that is capable of replacing the previous one can
distract him. If he doesn’t meet such an ideal, LIRIK, even having a
good time with others, in his soul will recollect his first love. He
will long for it, not being able to find a replacement of his favorite
person. Only blatant practicalness and full indifference of the partner
can kill his love.
If LIRIK’s love is reciprocated, he becomes soft, appeasable, gentle,
and loyal partner. However, if he becomes bored, he can take an interest
in other people for a short while. With this, it’s not a given than he
will have any physical relations with them. However, evoking the
jealousy of his partner by this he will renew their feelings. His
caprices and whims will lead to quarrels, that most often will end with
gentle reconciliations. Thus, for a long time he can keep and support
the interest of his dual. An unfitting partner may not like this at all,
and it may lead at all to undesirable consequences. But the LEADER such
games intrigue and bond him to the LIRIK.
Besides the LEADER can often be sharp and rude. Frequently, he is
insufficiently tactful and consequently is very much in need of a
tolerant and lenient partner. The LIRIK is sufficiently peace-loving and
does not hold ill memories and grudges for long. His softness, kindness,
and serenity soften his somewhat aggressive partner, who does not
tolerate moralizing and prefers to communicate with a person who
understands and forgives his weakness.
INTp + ESFp : The Critic and The Politician
¶
“The Critic” = INTp = ILI (Ni-Te)
“The Politician” = ESFp = SEE (Se-Fi)
SEE: Politician
¶
The POLITICIAN has a combination of forms of love
Viktoria
and
Storge
.
This makes him a personality that easily takes and interest and becomes
involved, both imperious and tender at the same time. Extroverted form
of love Viktoria imparts on him traits of a conqueror, requiring new
victories, and the more often, the less the objects of his feelings
resist his emotional pressuring.
The POLITICIAN attributes much values to the physical side of love, and
is in need of a variety of sexual sensations. At the same time, he can
be very bonded to his selected person, if this choice does not
disappoint him as a whole. But he will always find his chosen one to be
somehow insufficient, as his imperious nature demands that everything
should be done as he considers it necessary.
He can view his partner as his possession, and love him with gentle
family love - Storge, keeping fidelity and preferring him to all the
rest. Even if he decides to be disloyal, in most cases it’s of little
significance. Unless the new partner in every respect surpasses his
former love. Then the POLITICIAN literally loses his head, begins
dashing side-to-side, feeling torn apart between two people whom he can
love simultaneously yet differently. Eventually, he chooses a partner
who is more beneficial and convenient to him, in that area which is of
greatest value to him. This may be his personal independence, family and
children, living space, material income and prosperity, sincere soulful
comfort, and so on.
He needs a vacillating, doubting, critically-minded partner whom it is
necessary to win over. If the victory turns out to be easy, he may
become bored, plunge into doubt, and take an interest in someone else,
then start to fork or branch-out to different sides. This is a very
complex, whimsical, and inconsistent in his feelings and actions person.
He can give a lot of happiness while he loves, as well as become
intolerable if he is disappointed or falls in love with someone else.
The CRITIC with his sober realism calms down his mad erratic partner and
returns him back to the family and to habitual duties. But he does this
measuredly, unostentatiously, unobtrusively, not provoking
counter-actions of POLITICIAN that are natural to him in such cases.
ILI: Critic
¶
The combination of forms of love
Agape
and
Pragma
makes the CRITIC be very steady and stable in his emotional attachments.
Sacrificial tendencies and a healthy dose of common sense stabilize his
behavior in love. The fact that he is somewhat capricious, whimsical,
and stubborn make him sufficiently interesting for his dual. The CRITIC
is inclined to doubt everything, even his own feelings. His feelings
need to be earned and deserved constantly. Such a challenge captures and
for a long time keeps the attention of the POLITICIAN.
It is difficult for them to become bored with each other, as the
POLITICIAN is given to extremes, and the CRITIC does not entertain this
and does not spare his eloquence to keep his erratic partner away from
committing rash actions. Sacrificial traits of the CRITIC flatter the
vanity of the POLITICIAN, who needs emotional leadership over others,
which provides for a sense of his own exclusiveness and
indispensability.
Healthy pragmatism of the CRITIC helps him find methods to make a union
with a partner be most beneficial, while a break-up - least painful. By
word and deed, as well as ability to patiently wait, the CRITIC holds
back and retains his partner. Due to his wisdom and ability to
correspond to many requirements of the POLITICIAN, the CRITIC over time
becomes simply indispensable and irreplaceable for his dual.
The POLITICIAN may have on the side, but the CRITIC does not delve
deeply into them and ignores such entertainments, or simply doesn’t not
suspect anything. In the most extreme case, a quarrel and the subsequent
persuasions of the POLITICIAN put everything in its place. The CRITIC is
often cold in the emotional and sexual attitudes towards his partner.
This promotes the inconstancy of the POLITICIAN, but it also never
engenders the feelings of satiation, which would have been more
detrimental to their union. While the spirituality and moral cleanliness
of the CRITIC make the POLITICIAN feel tormented by remorse and
predispose him to relative constancy in a relationship.
The form of display of feelings for CRITIC is Agape, which gives his
relationships a shade of the elevated and the sublime. This is not
readily evident at first look due to the pragmatism of this type, but it
becomes evident in a long-term relationship. The CRITIC does not
tolerate crassness and vulgarity, though at times he himself is lacking
in tact, and is able to make other people respect him. Such a partner
constantly intrigues the POLITICIAN, who is inclined to familiarity in
dialogue, and by that keeps him interested. In addition to this, the
CRITIC is inclined to show obstinacy which gives the POLITICIAN an
opportunity to show his diplomatic abilities. As a result, both don’t
feel bored in these relations.
ENTj + ISFj : The Experimenter and The Keeper
¶
“The Experimenter” = ENTj = LIE (Te-Ni)
“The Keeper” = ISFj = ESI (Fi-Se)
LIE: Experimenter
¶
Similarly to the CRITIC, the EXPERIMENTER also has a combination of
forms of love
Pragma
and
Agape
,
but as the extrovert he aspires for new impressions. Due to this, the
EXPERIMENTER is less constant in his feelings and more unpredictable in
his behavior than the CRITIC. He needs strong and stable in his
attachments person, who could softly but confidently hold him within the
framework of family and focus him on performing his family duties.
If the EXPERIMENTER’s idealistic feeling Agape prevails in his relations
with a partner, he is inclined to sacrifice his spiritual and sexual
interests for the sake of family life.
Interests of business for him always prevail over emotional condition,
and for their sake he can refuse to himself in rest, leisure time, and
even happiness to be with those who are dear to him.
Contradictory but optimistically oriented, the EXPERIMENTER often cannot
himself understand his feelings. The more readily he directs his
attention to the daily activities and cares. Mobile and resourceful, he
often combines in his life romantic love on the side and performance of
matrimonial duty. With this, he prefers fleeting, noncommittal, and
non-obliging connections. Such relations don’t complicate his life and
don’t take away a lot of his time, which he prefers to devote to
resolving business matters. But if he experiences a true feeling, he can
be a loyal partner through life, capable of forgiving much to his
partner, of adapting to his character and even softening him with his
cheerful nature.
He is inclined to idealize those whom loves and to exaggerate the flaws
and deficiencies of those in whom he’s disappointed. If love visits him
at a time when he is already in a married union, for the sake of keeping
his family’s well-being he can become a real actor in life. It is
difficult for him to make a final decision, to make someone unhappy. He
prefers that this decision is made by one of his partners, whoever turns
out of be less patient.
However his life folds, he will always find an outlet in any employment,
affairs, and hobbies. To decide to break off relations he can only in
the event that his partner makes his life intolerable. After all he is a
logical type who lives more by reason than by heart, and his sacrifice
is shown in his actions and engagements rather than in his
relationships. As an extrovert, it is e
ESI: Keeper
¶
The combination of forms of love
Storge
and
Viktoria
in the most steady, introverted form makes the KEEPER a reliable friend
and a good family member. However, being internally imperious and strong
personality, he is not inclined to forgive betrayals. His Viktoria - is
a victory in love for entire life. Cheating - is a defeat, with which he
cannot reconcile. He reserves the right to take revenge to himself:
punishment of former partner by separation - this becomes his last
victory.
The KEEPER is conservative in his habits. He does everything possible
for preservation of his family, thus he breaks off relations only as a
last resort. For him it is difficult to make the decisive step, but,
having made it, he is irreversible in his decision. Persuasions have
little effect on him, since he is mistrustful and somewhat paranoid.
Exceptions are made in those cases when he sees that a similar mistake
from the partner will not repeat again.
The KEEPER’s inner character is replete with internal conflicts and
hidden problems. If for him Storge prevails, he is stubborn and
principled. The KEEPER is kind, tender, and yieldng … but only in
small things. In the main thing he is unshakable. Family occupies the
first place for him, and if his partner does not meet his expectation,
he will show the type of love Victoria, demonstrating his adamancy. The
willpower manifests undemonstratively, and much he does exactly as he
wants it.
The EXPERIMENTER needs exactly such partner. Such partner corresponds to
his pragmatic understanding of family duty. With his hard work,
diligence, and economy the KEEPER creates the necessary comfort for home
life. He has an uncompromising attitude and enough will power to keep
the EXPERIMENTER from committing thoughtless acts. Besides this, he can
be so caring and attractive, that the principle “from good one does not
seek good” starts to operate.
By his words the KEEPER is able to make his partner value his and
cherish his good attitude. In his turn, he appreciates hard working and
yielding attitude of his dual, his ability to discharge a tense
situation with a joke, to distract from troubles and problems by
switching attention to something else. The KEEPER willingly takes on
improvement of his family’s well-being together with the EXPERIMENTER.
In such a case, the EXPERIMENTER will simply not have any time left for
external romantic adventures, and their common cares and concerns will
pull together them even more.
ESTj + INFj : The Manager and The Humanist
¶
“The Manager” = ESTj = LSE (Te-Si)
“The Humanist” = INFj = EII (Fi-Ne)
LSE: Manager
¶
Externally stern and business-like, this sociotype combines inclination
for two contrasting forms of love:
Pragma
and
Eros
:
ice and fire, sober calculation and a passionate attraction make him a
rather contradictory person. He prefers to live by reason instead of
following the call of feelings. The interests of business for him often
prevail over feelings, and even over the pleasure of being with and
communicating with a favorite person. However periodically for his
senses he throws entire holidays.
This is a caring and reliable partner. He does everything possible for
those whom he loves. His partner can feel a deficiency in compliments
and verbal expression of feelings, but the MANAGER proves his love in
practice, taking on the lion’s share of all cares, and can be quite
satisfied if his partner takes part in common activities and carries out
tasks that require only attention and patience.
He needs a partner-helper, who won’t try to impose his will and methods,
or dictate conditions to him. The MANAGER could be absolutely dry,
imperious, and exacting person if he wasn’t softened with presence of
sensual form of love - Eros. Being inclined towards this kind of
emotional behavior makes him at times very romantic and magnanimous
towards the object of his feelings.
He is capable of being loyal to his partner if he/she are acceptable to
him as a sexual partner or if he values such life partner for practical
reasons. His feelings can glow brightly and for a long time, though
healthy pragmatism is not alien to them. In the absence of reciprocity,
he is capable, being guided by feeling of a duty, of refusing the new
attraction. He often subordinates his erotic feelings to Pragma, though
can for a long time recollect his former love.
EII: Humanist
¶
The combination of diplomatic
Storge
and inventive
Filia
make the HUMANIST an ideal partner in life for the MANAGER, who is quite
a difficult partner in love. On the one hand, the HUMANIST allows for
the MANAGER to be the head of the family, and on another hand - he
demands understanding and respect for his interests from his partner.
The HUMANIST carefully watches for any differences in views and opinions
with his partner, his way of conduct in relation to people around him,
his attitudes towards upbringing of children, his plans for the future,
and in everyday chores and affairs.
Together with form of love of Storge - a loyal family love - such
manifestation of love Filia cements his union with the quick-tempered,
proud, and imperious MANAGER even more. The HUMANIST like no one else is
able to find an approach to his dual. In a dispute he is able to
restrain himself and not say anything unnecessary in the heat of the
moment. Instead, the HUMANIST expresses his disappointments and
grievances in such a form, that his partner feels ashamed for his
incorrect behavior and statements. With this, sorting out of relations
does not end with a quarrel, but with a reconciliation or promises to
review and amend one’s behavior.
Patience, diplomacy, sensitivity and care are inherent to the HUMANIST,
but he is guileless with those whom he loves and prefers to speak the
truth or to be silent. His love Storge aspires to happy harmonious
family life that would be full of kindness and mutual concessions. Only
not one-sided! The HUMANIST - is not a sacrificing sociotype. If he
permits his partner to direct and supervise him in practical matters,
due to his low fitness in face of difficulties, absence of push-through
qualities, and insufficient confidence in himself, this does not mean
that he will allow his partner to pass that line that separates caring
friend from heartless dictator.
The HUMANIST spends much of his soulful and personal efforts on
re-education of his partner, bringing him closer to an ideal. However,
if the partner does not wish to compromise and does not listen and agree
to his persuasions, the HUMANIST can terminate their union. The MANAGER
is oriented at creation of a strong family: if he feels such a threat,
he will do everything possible to improve their relationship.
The spiritual side of love for the HUMANIST means much more to him than
the erotic side. In addition he is somewhat reversed and consequently
needs an initiative-taking partner who actively shows his desires. In
love the HUMANIST is restrained, mistrustful, and observant. The
slightest deviation in the behavior of a partner is received painfully
by him, and the HUMANIST applies his best efforts to keep reciprocity in
feelings. Even if for the sake of this it is necessary to show offense
and alienation. A repenting dual the HUMANIST forgives and tries to
never remind or bring up the reason of their disagreements again.
The MANAGER poorly tolerates talk of personal questions, and especially
any sorting out of relations. Because of this, he is inclined to arrive
at hasty conclusions and make ethical mistakes, which complicate his
relations with other people around him. Lack of patience and endurance
make him sharp and tactless at times, as he does not have enough not
only of diplomacy, but also of self-criticism. This is why he needs
patience and kind persistence from the HUMANIST, with which the HUMANIST
tactfully and consistently re-educates his hot-tempered dual. The
HUMANIST takes on not only the role of a mentor, but he constantly
influences the conscience of the MANAGER, who is quite sensitive and not
a stranger to high moral principles.
ISTp + ENFp : The Master and The Inspirer
¶
“The Master” = ISTp = SLI (Si-Te)
“The Inspirer” = ENFp = IEE (Ne-Fi)
IEE: Inspirer
¶
Similarly to the Humanist, the INSPIRER has a combination of forms of
love
Filia
and
Storge
.
Here, Filia prevails and defines INSPIRER’s inclination to harmonious
life only in the event that he feels full spiritual closeness with his
partner. Unlike the HUMANIST, this is a passionate, gusty, unrestrained
in his emotions person. As an ethical type and as an extrovert, he is
very interested in new people. Therefore, his partner needs to be
sufficiently competitive to keep the attention of such inordinary and
restless life partner for a long time.
The INSPIRER - is a big romantic and can stay in captivity of his
illusions for a long time. He can idealize his love and its object so
strongly, that he can keep loyal to his ideal for a long time, even when
not having any hopes for reciprocity. However, meanwhile he won’t sit
still with his hands folded. He will try to win over the mind, the soul,
and if needed the body of the person who for his represents the
supervalue, and will do so until he achieves reciprocity. If he becomes
disappointed in his ideal, he deeply and strongly feels this.
At times, he lacks in common sense and is capable of making rash actions
and following the lead of his feelings. At the same time, due to
presence in his emotional behavior a component of love Storge, he tries
to spare people close to him and not cause any complications in their
life. He is so seeped with empathy that for the sake of well-being of
others can sacrifice his own interests.
The INSPIRER is poorly adapted to life and is in need of care,
attention, sensitivity, protection, support and patronage of a more
realistic, practical, and quick in everyday matters person. But he does
not tolerate when he is being ordered around rudely, when something is
imposed on him, when he is made to suffer. In such cases, he
instinctively gains distance from such a partner who causes him to
suffer.
He is not capable of feeling jealous and competing with possible
contenders for long. He won’t try to impose himself and insist on
reciprocity, if he feels that he is not valued and cherished. Due to
inclination towards love Filia, he strives towards equality in
everything, and if someone is of much value for him, then he just as
well has to be outside of competition for his partner. Otherwise, the
other side of love relations Storge will not develop.
The INSPIRER is oriented at honest relations and with difficulty
perceives deception in any form, thus his partner needs to be loyal and
truthful. For the INSPIRER, as well as for the HUMANIST, the spiritual
side of love is very important, but he places greater importance on the
erotic relations. Absence of initiative from his partner makes him doubt
the fullness of his partner’s feelings.
The INSPIRER is capable to transforming love into a poem, to make it the
purpose of his life, but he can suddenly become disappointed in his
partner, not finding full reciprocity, or if he does not meet his high
ethical requirements. This makes him an unpredictable partner.
SLI: Master
¶
The MASTER unites two extreme form of love
Eros
and
Pragma
and as no one else is capable of giving his partner everything that is
necessary for family happiness. From erotic pleasure, strong sensual and
spiritual attraction - up to stability and reliability in person life,
full of sensitive care, attention, and mutual aid in everything. Unlike
the MANAGER, he has less pragmatism and greater aspiration towards
harmonious relations with his partner.
The MASTER cares for the soulful comfort of people who are close to him.
He is usually constant in his emotional attachments and somewhat
restrained in his actions and his statements. Worries a lot and feels
upset if he inadvertently offends someone. However, he’s not always
capable of admitting his fault right away. The conservatism of love
Pragma make him a sufficiently difficult partner, but he willingly tries
to attain an agreement with a person dear to him and aspires to restore
lost harmony if he sees that this desire is mutual. Love Eros makes him
forgive much to his selected person, but the other feeling - Pragma
watches that these misdeed don’t go beyond the framework of the
permissible.
The MASTER is very restrained in display of feelings, but his mask of
coldness conceals his much greater sensuality. He is oriented at strong
and harmonious relations, that only two suitable forms of love can give
- Storge and Pragma. He is also ready to share the interests of his
partner and together with him to reach the necessary spiritual closeness
necessary for full harmony in relations, which for this dual pair - is
the main value in life. Both partners actively aspire to this.
Trying to be in everything the way that everyone loves and respects, the
exacting MASTER aspires to personal growth and development. By this he
becomes competitive enough to endure through the constant comparisons
with other, new people. Besides this, the MASTER loves passionately and
sincerely, although not openly for the extraneous eyes. He is able to
waken the sensuality of the INSPIRER who often doubts his sensual
desires and poorly recognizes them.
The INSPIRER at times seems to him as a whimsical child, teaching which
with constant leniency and love - is only a pleasure. The MASTER does
not like imperious and self-assured people. Their activity, even in the
erotic sense, suppresses him and does not leave space for his own
creativity. This realist, who too soberly looks at life, is complemented
by the optimism of the eternal child-INSPIRER, who helps him avoid
depression and despondency.
References
¶
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;
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Additional Links
¶
Forms of Love: Ancient and Novel by Meged
Duality observations
Descriptions of Dual Relations by Gulenko
Making Duality Work by Meged
The Dual Nature of Man: Demonstration of Attitudes and Feeling in Pre-Marital Friendship
Relations of Duality Essays by Stratiyevskaya
Romantic and Sexual Behavior of Quadras and Subtypes