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Making Duality Work by Meged
¶
This article offers recommendations on psychological and emotional
compatibility of people based on examples of interaction of dual pairs.
This interaction is considered at the most general level, taking into
account specific features of respective types and quadra. It was written
by Valentina V. Meged and published in Journal “Socionics, Mentology and
Personality Psychology”, N 3-6, 2000. Link to
original text
.
Keywords:
socionics, psychological compatibility, dual relationships, character
.
Introduction
¶
We bring to your attention recommendations on psychological and
emotional compatibility of people in dual pairs or dyads. Examples of
dyad interactions are most useful for understanding the basic principles
of socionics intertype relations. This way it is easier to understand
the characteristic idiosyncrasies of behavior of a partner for mutual
adjustment and adaptation. Sometimes the root of mutual reprimands and
frustrations lies in unconscious needs and requirements and does not
become openly expressed.
First, we will consider the interaction of dual pairs on the most
general level, taking into account only type and quadra preferences.
Then, we will examine characteristic aspects of interactions of TIMs in
greater depth. As mentioned earlier, in addition to general
recommendations, in socionics counseling, many individual factors should
be taken into account, which makes the advice more qualified and
effective. Maybe our recommendations will serve as Ariadne’s thread,
which, according to a Greek legend, helped Theseus to find a way out of
the maze. In this case  out of the maze of relationships, subtypes,
accentuations, psychoforms and temperaments, as all these aspects are
present in the descriptions of the interaction of dyads.
1st quadra
ENTp, ILE (IL)
ISFp, SEI (SE)
ESFj, ESE (ES)
INTj, LII (LI)
2nd quadra
ENFj, EIE (ET)
ISTj, LSI (LF)
ESTp, SLE (FL)
INFp, IEI (TE)
3rd quadra
ESFp, SEE (FR)
INTp, ILI (TP)
ENTj, LIE (PT)
ISFj, ESI (RF)
4th quadra
ESTj, LSE (PS)
INFj, EII (RI)
ENFp, IEE (IR)
ISTp, SLI (SP)
ILE-SEI
¶
Duality of
ILE (ENTp, IL, Ne-Ti
) and
SEI (ISFp, SE, Si-Fe)
.
ILE
¶
This type is characterized by resourcefulness, an abundance of new ideas
and interest in all things mysterious and unusual. His dreaminess,
absent-mindedness, inattention, focus on the future, and triumph of
interest over benefit do not make him a very practical and industrious
partner. He needs understanding and tolerance. In extracting value from
his projects or connections, he is looking for support of a diplomatic
partner.
IL (ILE) often feels a need in new experiences and changes, lack of
which can cause lethargy and a craving for empty entertainment. In such
cases, he may take hasty and imprudent actions, if he is not distracted
in time with an interesting activity or proposition.
As with any irrational type, he has pronounced ups and downs of energy.
In times of recession, his inertia should not cause resentment in his
partner. He usually does not plan his activities for the near future,
therefore he is quite disorganized and does not like to be controlled
and scheduled. At rest, he is relaxed and compliant. But if he is
pressured, displays tenacity and stubbornness, even aggression. He needs
a lenient, flexible, tactful and considerate partner.
He is quite open and sociable. Democratic, tries to be on good terms
with everyone, but can be too trusting. Shy to show his affection when
he doubts that it will be reciprocated. Poor judge of character, doesn’t
easily discern who might be his enemy. Shows courtesy, but sometimes he
goes on the offense and defends somewhat inadequately. Needs timely
clarifications from his partner regarding his relationships, where he
stands with others.
The “key” to such an unusual person as IL (ILE) is the ability to
perceive, manage and direct his feelings and sensations. When he is
anxious, relax him with jokes, calm him down, distract him; when he is
in apathy  shake him up with sharp wit and biting sarcasm (without
losing sense of tact and measure). Let him “wind up”, even leave
slamming the door. When he comes back, interest him in something new,
some interesting proposition or notion, to make clear that, although he
is in disfavor, he is still loved and needed and wished well. It is also
necessary to involve his senses with pleasing and harmonious sensations:
loving touch, delicious food, pleasant music, comfortable conversation.
He needs someone who would look after him, his health and his needs.
SEI
¶
Also an irrational type, but this is the only thing that he shares in
common with his dual. Both of them live going with the flow,
surrendering themselves to opportunity and chance. In the rest, however,
they are opposites.
SE (SEI) is a good diplomat, but as an introvert he is prone to shyness
and hesitancy. He is cautious and constrained around new people, so
prefers to negotiate on an informal basis, at home or in any other
relaxed atmosphere. He feels more at ease interacting with a democratic,
communicable partner, who is able to quickly bridge the psychological
distance.
SE (SEI) is a master of “shuttle diplomacy”, a good mediator in dispute,
pleasant and genial companion who inspires trust. Feels useful when he
is near people who are awkward with relations, who provide for him an
opportunity to show his abilities. Likes to give advice, when and what
kind of initiative should be shown, how to take care of one’s health and
appearance. Considerate and caring, but feels offended if he is not
needed.
SE (SEI) lives in the real world, while his dual IL (ILE) drifts in the
clouds, thinking about distant goals. SE (SEI) is practical and
realistic in everyday tasks. He takes care of matters of healthy
lifestyle and recreation, solves household problems. He likes to enjoy
nature, beautiful things, convenience, good food and knows how to please
others with this. IL (ILE) doesn’t devote enough of his attention to
such things, but SE (SEI) doesn’t seek to re-educate his dual, and
instead takes these responsibilities onto his shoulders.
He is able to create the desired emotional state to invigorate his dual.
However, he is able to accomplish this with tact and without obvious
pressuring. He is able to instill optimism in moments of depression,
dispel his boredom, drag him out to see a concert or a show, and so on.
For the sake of good relations, SE (SEI) is able to jeopardize
professional interests. He generally poorly discerns what benefits there
are in any job, and feels happy if his dual can explain this clearly.
Though he is diligent and active in everyday chores and matters, SE
(SEI) is often passive in major business endeavors. He needs a partner
who would instill confidence in him, make him trust his own abilities
and show where the opportunities lie. When he is inspired by his
project, SE (SEI) tries to realize it with the help of his informal
connections, and with this he renders IL (ILE) a huge favor, who is
usually inert in such matters. SE (SEI) needs a partner who can break up
work into stages and set deadlines, and also took over the part of work
that needs a more objective approach, such as knowing the instructions
and regulations, etc.
SE (SEI) is usually not very farsighted. He may be too relaxed and
carefree and underestimate or fail to notice upcoming troubles and
imminent dangers. His partner needs to mobilize him in time and take the
necessary precautions.
Terms of dualization
¶
Adapting to one’s dual takes time and the fulfillment of certain
conditions. Initially, these duals attract one another with their role
functions: IL (ILE)  by presenting himself or herself as a
self-assured, confident person, and SE (SEI)  by presenting as an
easy-going, somewhat reckless optimist, who seems to not have any
problems. If there isn’t an appropriate situation where these roles can
be displayed, these duals may not develop an interest in one another.
Even if they have warmed up to one another, some patience and time is
still required to understand and accept each other’s idiosyncrasies and
peculiarities.
To achieve harmony within relations of this dyad the following
conditions must be considered:
IL (ILE) should not criticize the taste and measure of SE (SEI) and
SE (SEI)  the theories and ideas of ILE.
Distribute responsibilities so that IL (ILE) takes care of issues of
planning and economy, while SE (SEI)  of communication and
relations.
Learn how to cover for each other’s weaknesses: IL (ILE)  must show
vision and foresight, and take on providing for the family; SE (SEI)
regulates the initiative of IL (ILE) at critical moments, as well
as smooths over and eliminates his faux pas and ethical mistakes.
Keep in mind some sexual peculiarities: Since SE (SEI) is an
introvert, it is better for IL (ILE) to take initiative in these
matters. However, because IL (ILE) is a logical type, it is difficult
for him to understand the orientation and depth of his feelings. In
this aspect he should be guided by SE (SEI), such that he doesn’t
experience doubts of their mutual love. So that their happiness is
complete, SE (SEI) must be skillfully regulate and adjust the moods
of his dual.
In this pair, the sensing type is SE (SEI). Even if this is a woman, she
should take the initiative for seduction. Since this type of people
possesses most nuanced and subtle sensing, they can be artists even in
love, and “rouse” even a completely detached, hovering in the clouds IL
(ILE).
ESE-LII
¶
Duality of
ESE (ESFj, ES, Fe-Si)
and LII
(INTj, LI, Ti-Ne)
.
ESE
¶
A sociable and cheerful person, pleasant and attentive companion, the
soul of the company. He knows how to manage the mood of other people,
raise it in times of despair, or ruin it for those who have not lived up
to his trust or lost his respect. Because of his straightforwardness and
passionate temper, ES (ESE) often jeopardizes relationships and so needs
a partner who can keep cool and calm, and who will understand everything
and give him objective advice.
ESE (ES) is practical and expedient in domestic matters, loves to take
care of others. He tries to do everything himself, rarely asks others
for help. However, he is also emotional and sensitive, and therefore
needs praise, empathy, and participation.
He has a developed aesthetic taste, pays great attention to the beauty
around him  from his own appearance to the interior of his living
space. Poorly tolerates miserliness in partners. He prefers to earn
money and spend it on his own.
Optimistic and careless, ES (ESE) need advice of a partner who is not
only farsighted, but one who can succinctly and accurately analyze any
situation and deliver a clear and unambiguously worded summary or
forecast, leaving no room for doubts and alternatives.
ES (ESE) is inclined to take on too much work and activities, including
that which is unnecessary. LI (LII) must monitor his activities, cutting
off the excess and assisting only in the essential, which he is able to
do gently, in form of clear logical advice.
LII
¶
In this pair LI (LII) acts as a sensible, reliable and intelligent
friend, and ES (ESE)  as a vibrant, caring and loving parent, which
ensures in general a harmony of mind and senses.
LI (LII) possesses clear logical thinking, trying to explain to others
his understanding of things and becomes very upset if no one listens to
his opinion. Therefore, he needs a cooperative partner, who has a sense
of humor, and who is flexible and diplomatic.
LI (LII) prefers to plan his activities and does not like to change his
plan when something else is imposed on him. His partner should listen to
his advice, respect his wishes, and try to not disturb his plans.
LI (LII) finds it difficult to constantly think about the pressing needs
of the family, because his mind is often elsewhere, sometimes submerged
in his work and research. Thus, domestic issues mostly fall on the
shoulders of ES (ESE), who requests the help of his partner only if he
cannot manage himself. In such cases, he draws LI (LII) into the process
not by orders and directives, but with his emotions and enthusiasm. LI
(LII) then splits the task into steps and consecutively solves it.
LI (LII) finds it difficult to be pushy and zealous, and often suffers
during conflicts due to lack of break-through qualities. It is difficult
for him to defend the interests of his case, and to listen later to
accusations of inertness and lack of energy  just unbearable. Active,
persistent partner, able to achieve goals that he sets earns his respect
and gratitude.
LI (LII) experiences great difficulties when it is necessary to take the
initiative in a relationship or show his feelings. Because of this, he
is often considered a dry and unapproachable person. He needs a partner
who will take responsibility for creating and maintaining relaxing, warm
and pleasant atmosphere in communication.
Terms of dualization
¶
LI (LII) needs to listen to the advice of his dual, be more friendly
and tactful in his relations with others. On the other hand, being
under the influence of his emotions, ES (ESE) can ruin relationships,
and then his dual can help to stabilize him with his cool logical
arguments.
When it comes to protection of objective interests of this dyad,
initiative of ES (ESE) is undeniable. Energetic, active, informed of
a variety of practical issues and tactical methods, ES (ESE) aids his
dual in resolving problems in areas that are too complicated for him.
Since ES (ESE) is careless and imprudent, poorly sees the possible
outcomes of affairs, he needs advice of his discerning dual,
especially when it comes to monetary and economic matters. Planing,
coming up with strategic goals for the dyad, distributing events in
time should be done by LI (LII).
In the intimate sphere, the initiative for showing feelings, casting
aside all prejudices, should fall to ES (ESE), who acts in this area
quickly and with confidence, according to the principle: “Don’t love
me, but I love you  beware of my love!” Cold, insular, shy, and
unsure of his right to be loved LI (LII) with this demeanor
unconsciously provokes emotional expansionism of his partner. And
here is a sexual secret: without emotional preparation, the sexuality
of LI (LII) is generally difficult to awaken. Women who passively
wait for the initiative from him are likely to be disappointed.
However, some sociotypes are stimulated exactly by passivity or
inaccessibility of their partner. ES (ESE) at a subconscious level
strives to be the conqueror and not the conquered  excessive activity
of the partner brings satiety and boredom to him. He appreciates
seriousness and commitment, responsiveness to feelings. In addition, LI
(LII) gives the impression of permanence, which is necessary for peace
of mind of jealous-possessive nature of ES (ESE).
EIE-LSI
¶
Duality of
EIE (ENFj, ET, Fe-Ni)
and
LSI (ISTj, LF, Ti-Se)
.
EIE
¶
Being an idealist by nature, ET (EIE) considers his life to be in vain
if he has failed to vividly express himself through a strong passion, or
bring some benefit to people. He feels a constant desire for spiritual
growth and development, has an interest in anything novel, enigmatic and
unknown. Having set a goal, ET (EIE) is rarely distracted from it and he
usually gets his way. Sometimes, his inability to deviate from what he
has planned results in reckless action. He needs the help of a calm,
strong and sensible partner.
ET (EIE) is able to emotionally affect others, to get them inspired and
involved in working on a project or a task. His emotions are
characterized by their strength, depth, “obsessive focus”, and often
dramatic nature, while his internal contradictions and variations are
often unbearable even for him. He needs a partner who, seeing the
alternations in his mood and judgements, lack of sober realism and sound
logic, could resolve his problems with rational and practical advice.
ET (EIE) internally finds it difficult to relax, to feel in harmony with
the environment and people. Because of this, he often provokes
controversy with others. He needs a sustained, steadfast, and
sufficiently resistant to stress partner.
Being a strong-willed and thorough person, LF (LSI) organizes and
stabilizes activities and feelings of his dual, stoically enduring
through his emotional outbursts. In addition, he resolves all the
difficult tasks for his partner: deals with economic and domestic
problems, researches necessary information, patiently and unambiguously
explains how to do some task, instructs on current regulations,
describes the most logical sequence of the steps. He takes on thinking
through the details of a problem, splits it into stages and overcomes
any obstacles with unwavering tenacity and patience.
In such a conscientious and reliable person ET (EIE) finds his support.
With LF (LSI) at his side, he is not afraid of any difficulties.
Attention and care, compassion and assistance, detailed logical
explanation of any events and phenomena soothe the volatile nature of ET
(EIE).
LSI
¶
LF (LSI), as a rule, does not believe in luck but prefers being the
“architect of his own happiness.” Therefore, he plans everything and
steadily moves toward his goals, being distinguished by high capacity
for work and absolution from ups and downs of moods. He is responsible,
accurate in detail, not afraid of difficulties, both mentally and
physically tough.
For all his merits, he has several shortcomings. He is suspicious,
poorly versed in the motives and capabilities of other people. Despite
the fact that the LF (LSI) can be a pleasant companion, capable of
giving compliments and praises to someone whom he likes, he quickly
grows tired of this. Then withdraws from the public, submerges into
himself. He is not inconvenienced by prolonged solitude. Dispassionate
by his nature, he seldom sincerely grows attached to anyone, and for
this may be considered an aloof and cold man. He needs an emotive,
communicative partner who would be able to affect his feelings, arouse
his sociability, fuel and revitalize the relationship with his emotions.
Not everyone is impressed by the tendency of LF (LSI) to make remarks,
and more so by his demands of work being carried out, that suffer from
over-organization and excessive scrupulousness. He poorly perceives
potential and prospects of new undertakings. Due to this, he can be
overly conservative on issues that could benefit from unconventional
approaches. It takes time for him to absorb, analyze and adapt new
notions and ideas. He perceives people who violate the current order as
disruptive. Therefore, he needs help of a motivated, obstinate and
impassioned partner, who won’t try to break him out of his habits, but
will bring him to change very gradually but persistently. ET (EIE)
possesses the gift of persuasion like no other type. He clearly explains
the prospects of any matter, as well as the dangers that lie ahead if
one continues with the old methods and attitudes.
Well versed in the capabilities and intentions of people, ET (EIE)
alleviates the unnecessary suspicions of LF (LSI) and fills his life
with new impressions and experiences. He helps in professional sphere as
well, striking up new contacts and introducing new and promising
practices. With his foresight and intuition for danger and mishaps, ET
(EIE) is able to forewarn LF (LSI) and divert him from making possible
mistakes.
Terms of dualization
¶
ET (EIE) should comply with the main requirements of LF (LSI)
regarding planning of affairs and maintenance of order. Do not try to
break the habits of LF (LSI) or change his established methods and
views on life. If it is difficult to adapt to him, you can try to
persuade him otherwise over a period of time.
LF (LSI) stubbornly imposes on his partner his methods of work and
his own worldview. It is best to accept him as he is, be respectful
of his pursuits and interests, giving only the necessary advice along
the way. Periodically make compliments and demonstrate your
affection.
LF (LSI) should give more attention to and trust the advice and
requests of his dual, especially when it concerns relations with
other people and future prospects. ET (EIE), in turn, may rely on his
partner in the official-business and domestic matters, gratefully
accepting his care and assistance.
With regard to psychological, emotional and sexual aspects of these
relations, you need to know that LF (LSI) finds appeal in a partner
who is passionate, poetic and willingly talks about his feelings, who
is able to “melt the ice” with his strong emotions. At the same ET
(EIE) should not rush to close the distance, so that his partner
would not consider him too accessible and lose confidence in him.
First, the right emotional tone should be created, without resorting
too much to candid confessions. Then wait for when reciprocal
feelings will ripen, and only then go on offensive.
When it comes to intimacy, ET (EIE) should not rush to show his skill in
seduction. LF (LSI) likes a sublime yet modest partner, whom he can
teach and show “what is needed” to the extent he deems it acceptable. In
this pair, ET (EIE) takes lead in emotional life of the dyad, while
sensing remains the sovereignty of LF (LSI). Otherwise there will be
disagreement and dissonance.
In appealing to ET (EIE), first he must be convinced of your integrity,
seriousness and reliability. ET (EIE) shouldn’t have any doubts or feel
himself in danger. Only then, he won’t experience the need to test his
partner with unpredictable shifts in mood and uncontrollable behavior.
In sexual behavior of this dyad, ET (EIE) experiences a few problems: he
may either be too shy or too direct and frank. His partner needs to show
him an optimal style of behavior. Then there will be no need to overcome
uncertainty and timidity, nor excessive brazenness and looseness.
Without such guidance, ET (EIE) will continue to exasperate and torture
himself, and project his dissatisfaction onto his partner. He is in much
need of various signs of attention  words, gifts, and gestures  that
will confirm the love of his dual.
Relationships in this dyad are built on the principle of “infliction and
endurance” (“Kama Sutra”). Therefore, it is sometimes difficult to say
who is the “aggressor” and who is the “victim”. Both types show
obstinacy in relations and often this leads to quarrels. ET (EIE) is
able to assert his independence in the psychological play-fighting with
his partner, and frequently he wins. However, if he, after all, does not
acquiesce and admit to being defeated even a bit, he will have a very
difficult time. It is recommended to develop a more harmonious style of
communication: ET (EIE)  be more flexible and diplomatic, and LF (LSI)
do not overuse volitional pressure and practice tolerance for
weaknesses in another.
SLE-IEI
¶
Duality of
SLE (ESTp, FL, Se-Ti)
and
IEI (INFp, TE, Ni-Fe)
.
SLE
¶
This is a strong personality that is prone to either overestimate or
underestimate his abilities and volitional qualities. In the first case,
we have a “superman” resembling the heroes of action movies. In the
second case  a rebellious person, constantly and unsuccessfully
searching for himself and application of his abilities. If such a search
becomes protracted, FL (SLE) becomes the first victim of such
unfortunate situation. Then he may resort to substance abuse, engage in
risky enterprises, or, at the best, start conflicts with colleagues and
relatives, imposing his wishes and values in life.
In this regard, he needs a partner who could help him find a worthy
purpose where he could apply himself, and who would evoke strong
interest in him with the ultimate goal. FL (SLE) is inspired only by
goals that require resourcefulness and courage.
FL (SLE) can and must direct his energy into his career, as well as
activities of organizational, economic, and housekeeping nature:
improving family welfare, taking care of official matters, resolving the
pragmatic aspects of affairs, maintenance and repair, and resolution of
other practical problems. A man of this type can ensure realization of
the most difficult and dangerous work. He needs a partner who will
ensure that his actions and methods are humane and considerate enough
when he is attempting to reach his goals.
Despite these natural inclinations, many members of this type are not
even aware of their enormous potential and often suffer from lack of
confidence, or hold some irrational notions. They need a partner who
demonstrates inexhaustible optimism and faith in the success of any
endeavor. The main thing is to rid these people of their anxieties,
suspicions and doubts  the rest they will overcome themselves.
Most of all FL (SLE) hates treachery and is inclined to find it even in
instances where there was none. He may have a highly developed code of
behavior, which sometimes takes an extravagant form. Then he condemns in
others that which he has justified in himself. This quality complicates
his relations with others, so that his partner must be constantly
engaged in restoration of good relations, rather than await for FL (SLE)
to mend them himself. Thus, his dual plays the role of a diplomat of a
king. TE (IEI) can mitigate the suspicion and distrust of his dual,
persuading him out of unfounded fears.
IEI
¶
Soft, pliant, emotional, romantic and unpredictable partner. With him it
is never boring because often one has to puzzle over his bizarre
statements and actions. For his dual, who cannot endure monotony, this
is extremely interesting, to have to continuously overcome these small
and large challenges posed by his partner.
TE (IEI) can often give advice on who is an adversary and where one
needs to send a strike. Often has a harmonizing effect on a group of
people, but can also set groups and individuals against one another. TE
(IEI) has a good sense of danger  he is insightful enough to gather the
necessary information and develop a general strategy of psychological
behavior to achieve success. With FL (SLE), he can be part of a great
union that combines strength and vision, strategy and tactics. It is
only necessary, however, to properly evaluate the abilities of one
another.
Weaknesses of TE (IEI), such as excessive laxness, impracticality,
passivity and conformism in relations, can be easily forgiven. He’s a
diplomat, not a fighter. For this reason, he rarely impresses his dual
in the beginning, especially on the background of other vivid and strong
personalities, the passion for whom in FL (SLE) is eventually replaced
by disappointment and irritation.
Besides weak practical acumen and low efficiency, TE (IEI) has another
weakness: he tends to get greatly upset over nothing, feels discouraged
and starts complaining. He can also be a spendthrift and mismanage his
income.
But when his partner assumes the worst and falls in his spirits, TE
(IEI) is always able to cheer him up, divert his attention, assure him
that everything will be fine. At his heart, TE (IEI) is an idealist and
an optimist and believes in a positive outcome. He knows how to
patiently wait for what he believes in.
Terms of dualization
¶
Duals are two extremes that only together can find the “golden
center” on which rest truth and harmony. That is why TE (IEI) should
not be surprised by ability of resolute FL (SLE) to walk towards his
goal over the heads of others, putting business above relations. He
should help, however possible, to mitigate these tendencies of his
partner, explaining possible negative consequences to him. When
volitional pressuring turns directly against TE (IEI), don’t feel
offended  it is best to turn everything into a joke, or expertly
manage emotions of your partner and switch his attention to more
important issues than fight with loved ones.
Interference in each other’s spheres of activity not only leads to
conflicts, but also reduces the overall efficiency of this dyad. FL
(SLE) must constantly be on the lookout that his custody and
initiative do not take an offensive to TE (IEI) form, and TE (IEI)
should tactfully ignore the excessive pressuring of his partner,
demonstrate willingness to compromise and appeal for reciprocity.
It is necessary to provide freedom for diplomatic activities of TE
(IEI) that are associated with emotional agency, as well as
conception of a common strategy, and efforts aimed at intellectual
development of the dyad. FL (SLE) has to take on the role of
providing for the family, protecting and supporting it, overseeing
business matters.
Prudence and foresight in dealing with different people, as well as
planning for the holidays, evenings, holiday travel and entertainment
are the strengths of TE (IEI). Here, FL (SLE) needs to take care of
the practical part of the program: obtaining the tickets, preparing
the barbecue, driving, etc.
As for the emotional-sexual side of relations, FL (SLE) is very
impressed by the whimsical, sentimental and diverse in their
expression feelings of his partner who also possesses a developed
sense of humor and tact, and intrigued by his mystery and
unpredictable reactions.
TE (IEI) expects a strong, temperamental, self-confident, proactive in
sex partner. Here he is a follower, since he is confident only in
romantic side of feelings and relationships. TE (IEI) needs a partner
who can help him overcome his hesitation and awaken his sensuality. His
partner’s desire should not leave any room for doubt for TE (IEI), for
whom such doubts are often torturous.
In this dyad, relations are in many ways similar to the previous dyad.
Both couples are prone to engage in a kind of “play-fighting”.
Overbearing nature of FL (SLE) evokes emotional resonance in TE (IEI),
who, cleverly playing with his feelings, can endure a lot from such
strong and authoritarian personality. FL (SLE) enjoys feeling like a
victor, and TE (IEI), enjoys taming his occasionally overly aggressive
partner with diplomacy and kindness.
Often, TE (IEI) has a harmonizing form of personality, but there are
individuals of predominantly creative type of psyche  musicians,
artists, poets, etc.  who are not recommended to pair with a dual of
dominant type of personality. They are better matched with a partner of
normalizing psychoform  a more calm and balanced person  otherwise
their “play-fighting” can lead to mutual destruction or endless drama.
This dyad poorly tolerates monotony, lack of exiting experiences. Their
senses and emotions are renewed and strengthened by endurance and
suffering. If the aggressive by nature FL (SLE) never wanted to quarrel,
then his partner, with his whims and alternations of his moods, will
himself provoke a new outbreak of negative emotions, which then adeptly
turn into positive ones.
It should be noted that jealousy is often a problem in this pair,
especially for the mistrustful FL (SLE). The habit of TE (IEI) to be
friendly and interested in everyone, to generously give out compliments,
and the variability of his moods, all contribute to this development. Do
not taunt for too long: for FL (SLE) there is nothing worse than
betrayal.
It may seem that this dyad is distinguished by sadomasochistic
tendencies. In actuality, the soft, soulful and sentimental TE (IEI) has
a relaxing effect on FL (SLE) and, to a certain extent, suppresses his
aggressive tendencies. In the case of a quarrel, the emotional reaction
of TE (IEI) can be so original and unpredictable, that it forces his
dual, who poorly orients in feelings, to soften and seek compromise. The
image of a “victim” has a stronger effect on FL (SLE) than an equal and
invincible enemy, who does not evoke compassion.
Due to his flexibility, pliancy and fine diplomacy, TE (IEI) is often
able to win over the heart of such a complex personality as FL (SLE),
with his ambitiousness and subconscious aggression, who usually
considers emotions to be a sign of weakness and does not wish to fall
into emotional dependency with anyone else.
SEE-ILI
¶
Duality of
SEE (ESFp, FR, Se-Fi)
and
ILI (INTp, TP, Ni-Te)
.
SEE
¶
FR (SEE) is very persistent in achieving what he desires. In this, he
sometimes considers that any means are good for achieving his goals. He
finds it difficult to keep track of established norms. Because of this,
he can easily spring to action without t
FR (SEE) finds it difficult to assess the actual prospects and estimate
his own abilities realistically. He usually overestimates what he is
capable of, and risks gaining a reputation of a person who is unreliable
and irresponsible. TP (ILI) is cautious and prudent personality and can
dissuade FR (SEE) from taking pointless action.
In order to successfully fulfill his practical objectives, FR (SEE)
needs to make connections that would be useful. He’s a good tactician
and organizer, diplomatic, able to persuade people and build agreements
with them. He willingly accepts the responsibility for external
relations in this dyad. With a more enterprising partner, this could
lead to power struggles and conflicts in the relationship. Therefore, he
is better complimented by a more inert and less sociable person, with
whom his methods and means of achieving his goals will not overlap.
Inexhaustible zeal and energy of the FR (SEE), in combination with his
inability to distinguish the useful from the useless, lead him to waste
his time and efforts on unnecessary, fruitless activity and contacts.
Here, his partner can help him, as he can discern which activities bring
benefit and which are pointless. Dissuading FR (SEE) from taking on
unnecessary tasks, which otherwise would lead to his exhaustion and
disappointment, is not easy. One must have a large reserve of logical
arguments and information, which is characteristic of TP (ILI). Removed
reasoning, based on own intuition or experiences of others, will not be
convincing for FR (SEE).
ILI
¶
TP (ILI) clearly sees realistic and not-so-distant prospects and can
predict the dynamics of events. He is able to distract, soothe, remove
unnecessary stress and activity. His developed extroverted logic and
ability to base his arguments on effective foundation allow him to
efficiently distribute his efforts, time, and resources to achieve his
goals. He is well capable of organizing the labor process, preparing
everything in advance to obtain the maximum results with the minimum
expended time and energy.
It is difficult for TP (ILI) to practically implement his plans. He
lacks the energy, expediency, optimism, and ability to maneuver flexibly
in a changing situation. He also complicates his relations due to
insufficient diplomacy in conversation and negotiations. In this dual
pair, TP (ILI) helps to set workable, long-term goals and orients his
energetic dual in the right direction.
TP (ILI) is often indecisive, conservative and stubborn. To persuade him
to take on a new project is not within everyone’s abilities. His desire
to stabilize everything and to change nothing often leads to stagnation
in his life, and this in turn causes lethargy, loss of interest in
everything, negativity and bitterness, and a proclivity for
hypochondria.
For this reason, he needs a cheerful, energetic and active dual, who
will gently but consistently push the TP (ILI) towards dynamic changes
in his life, skillfully manage his moods and emotions, polish and
improve his rapport with others. FR (SEE) will expand the circle of
contacts of his dual, and his numerous suggestions and proposals will
provide his partner with constant food for thought, analysis and
reflection. Next to his dual TP (ILI) feels secure, loved, needed, and
never bored.
Terms of dualization
¶
1. The main impetus of this dyad is welfare. Pragmatism is expressed
quite clearly in both of these types. TP (ILI) should be appreciative of
the energy, flexibility and entrepreneurial spirit of his partner. He
should not get carried away with excessive criticism of flaws and
shortcomings of FR (SEE) and try to relay his observations in an
inoffensive manner. 2. FR (SEE) should not criticize such qualities of
his dual as difficulty in dealing with people, reserve, caution,
pessimism, lack of initiative, vulnerable self-esteem, lack of
flexibility and diplomacy. 3. FR (SEE) can expend energy on unnecessary
intrigues, or drive himself to exhaustion with fruitless activity.
Therefore, he must listen to cautioning and decelerating advice of his
dual. In turn, TP (ILI), who is able to work patiently and carefully,
with information and paperwork, with figures and facts, scrupulously and
carefully working out all the details, and then bringing everything to
its logical conclusion, should not require these qualities from his
dual. It is best to take these problems onto your shoulders, for the
sake of your impatient and hyperactive dual. 4. In terms of sexual
relations, the initiator, of course, is the FR (SEE). After all, he is a
Sensing type (in tune with the physical) and an Ethical type (sure of
his feelings for another person). As an extrovert, he is impulsive and
enterprising in striking up relations, sincere and decisive, and easily
expresses his feelings. Besides this, FR (SEE) by his nature is a
conqueror. Easy conquests for him are of no interest. His love is not
something permanent, given once and for all. It must be won anew every
day. Only such a mysteriously cold and ambivalent, and yet intelligent
and interesting partner as TP (ILI) can permanently keep his attention.
2. The features of authoritarianism, as well as a tendency for “infliction
and endurance” are less pronounced in strong-willed representatives of
third quadra than of the second. And yet, they still exist. Without an
element of “play-fighting” their emotional life seems to them colorless
and bland.
3. For example, TP (ILI) most of all hates calamities and extremes in
relationships. He usually pacifies emotional outbursts of dual, but with
his internal contradictions and caprices he at the same time provokes
his dual to angry outbursts. However, FR (SEE) does not allow for
prolonged break-ups. Emotionally, the relationship of these duals has a
pulsating character: first moving away, then coming closer, quarreling
and reconciling  thus they maintain the freshness and novelty of their
emotional impressions and fuel continuous interest in one another. Such
an alliance will never feel tedious and stagnant for both, because they
don’t feel bored together and each feels indispensable to the other.
4. Sometimes the temperamental FR (SEE) grows tired of the coldness and
seriousness of his dual. In such cases, he takes a “break on the side”,
but usually this doesn’t last long. TP (ILI) is a reliable partner who
can understand and forgive, but under one condition: he must see sincere
repentance  and who better than FR(SEE) can demonstrate this? Thus, TP
(ILI) often manages to stabilize his relations with the easily
distracted and impermanent in his feelings FR (SEE).
5. Union of FR (SEE) and TP (ILI) can be lasting, and FR (SEE) can, in the
end, emotionally stir and inspire his dual and ignite love in him. And,
the more these feelings find resonance, the more turbulent their
relationship becomes: FR (SEE) starts to feel bored and may become
involved with something else on the side, and TP (ILI) starts to grumble
and sulk, distance and quarrel over trifles. After this, there should be
renewal of feelings, their strengthening. The only thing that is not
advised to these duals  a calm and restful state. Even TP (ILI), if he
reaches this state, can unexpectedly feel boredom and long for a
different partner and new impressions.
LIE-ESI
¶
Duality of
LIE (ENTj, PT, Te-Ni)
and
ESI (ISFj, RF, Fi-Se)
.
LIE
¶
LIE is energetic, inventive and resourceful. He is distinguished by a
critical turn of mind, good pragmatic acumen and intuition for future
outcomes of new undertakings. He is inquisitive, responsive to all new,
decisive and bold. With inexhaustible enthusiasm he follows the path of
trial and error. He is willing to invest in things that do not promise
immediate returns. It is more important for him to obtain large return
in the future, rather than have a modest but steady income in the
present. Distrustful, conservative and cautious RF (ESI) does not share
the enthusiasm of his dual, but he cannot abandon a friend in trouble,
so by all means he helps him in these bold and precarious endeavors.
Being impulsive, venturesome, and easily captivated, PT (LIE) shows a
proclivity for risky, adventurous projects. However, he is intolerant of
tricks and gimmicks in others. Outwardly he is a supporter of “playing
by the rules”, however, he may get carried away and break them himself,
then suffer greatly for this. PT (LIE) needs advice of a conscientious
partner of strong character and ethical principles. Such a partner can
help him avoid getting into difficult situations and regret less about
what has transpired.
Unpredictable behavior of PT (LIE), his propensity to unexpectedly
change plans and his interests is a common cause of his conflicts and
misunderstandings with others. With this he brings out outbreaks of
discontent and anger from his strong-willed partner, but takes them with
an enviable sense of humor and optimism. The difficulties and failures
even mobilize him and inspire to more vigorous activity. This
personality is very resistant to stress. He quickly loses interest in a
monotonous and characterless partner who is not able to provide
resistance.
PT (LIE) hates routine, everything that is inert and stable. Desiring of
change, he is impatient, and due to this he often makes mistakes. His
life must be full of ups and downs, significant and memorable events,
full of romance, impressions, and feelings. He is looking for this
everywhere: he enjoys hiking, testing himself, tries to harden himself
physically and mentally. At the same time he never loses heart. Next to
him should be a strong, morally enduring person, who exerts a
stabilizing effect on him.
Trying to lift the mood of those around, infecting them with his
optimism, PT (LIE) sometimes doesn’t take into account the
appropriateness of his actions or expressions  he is not characterized
by tactfulness. With this he may offend other people. He needs the help
of a tactful person, who knows how to prevent and correct his ethical
lapses. He has difficulty understanding what exactly he did wrong. This
can best be explained by his dual, who has a strong ethical bent and
readily notices the slightest deviations from ethical standards. In
addition, possessing astute insight into people, RF (ESI) protects his
overly trusting dual, who is poorly versed in people, from
disappointments and bad contacts.
PT (LIE) often does not find neither internal balance nor harmony with
people around him. The hardest thing for him is attaining a state of
rest and peace of mind. He also finds it difficult to care about his
health and comfort, chores and basic amenities, and other routine tasks
of everyday life. He is very undemanding of his living conditions, and
does not understand too much delicacy from others in such matters.
Sometimes he overestimates his abilities in this aspect and falls into
extremes: starts to dress extravagantly or demands exotic foods,
physically tests himself by swimming in ice cold water, starvation,
yogic exercises. His dual readily and willingly provides his help on
these aspects.
Another problem of PT (LIE) is that often he does not have enough
patience or tactical abilities to succeed in his plan. Consequently, he
ruins many of his initiations and start-ups, only to take up new ones
with the same optimism. In doing so, he earns a reputation of a
thoughtless and frivolous person. He needs a reliable, responsible
partner, who would compliment him with his thoroughness and diligence,
reliability and conscientiousness, and the ability to bring tasks and
projects to their completion.
ESI
¶
RF (ESI) is a realist who knows how to properly assess the situation. He
sees the distribution of forces and knows which parts are important and
deserve attention and which do not  he is able to distinguish the
primary from the secondary. He has a good sense of relations between
people, skillfully adjusts psychological distance, bringing some people
closer and distancing bad people away from himself. Thus, RF (ESI) is
trying to protect his “inner circle”, his family, or his group of
friends or co-workers, from unwanted intruders and harmful influences.
He guards his sociable and trusting dual from committing many tactical
errors, from potential machinations of adversaries, as well as from
simply wasting his time.
This is person demanding in matters of order and ethical values. He
condemns the violation of ethical norms in his circle of friends and
acquaintances. He does not always speaks up openly about it  more often
he is restrained and gentle. However, when exasperated, he can say all
that has accumulated in a fairly sharp form, and even break his
relations with a person who has lost his respect, trust and sympathy. He
needs someone with a sense of humor, who knows how to admit his mistakes
and make compromises.
By nature, RF (ESI) is distrustful and prefers his “tried and true”
circle of friends to newcomers. He tries to be objective and fair to
all. He attempts to understand the motivations of actions of people, the
causes of their influences on one another, but often does not see
concealed reasons and motives, and for this reasons makes judgements
that are too categorical and superficial. However, his inherent
qualities  responsibility, thoroughness, fairness, understanding of the
needs of others  make him a reliable friend and helper, who contributes
to the success of his partner.
Being a man of patience and perseverance, RF (ESI) seeks to achieve the
main goal without being distracted by minor things, and knows how to
control the chaotic nature of his dual. He is hardworking, strives to
preserve stability in relations, oriented at growth and prosperity. He
is very active, diligent, and expedient in household matters, manages
comfort and food. He likes to take care of his loved ones with his
actions, as well as those who need care and attention.
The main thing for him  to feel needed and useful. The purpose and
meaning of his existence, RF (ESI) sees in serving the interests of his
close ones. He finds appeal in an active, energetic, hard-working
partner who needs his guardianship. RF (ESI) is holds his erratic and
unpredictable dual “in his hands”, guards his from wasteful diversions,
from imprudent and untactful behavior, from risky undertakings, too
frequent travel and unnecessary endurance tests. Together they can
overcome many difficulties.
Terms of dualization
¶
RF (ESI) needs to provide his dual with support in ethical matters
and in accomplishing tasks, be resilient and assertive in achieving
goals. He must not allow for doubts of his loyalty and reliability.
RF (ESI) is quick to take offense, and due to this can lose his sense
of fairness and impartiality in wake of his emotions. PT (LIE) with
his easy-going character must raise the vitality of his mistrustful
dual, readily forgive his angry outbreaks, support warm relations,
which is very important for RF (ESI).
PT (LIE) should offer RF (ESI) beneficial opportunities and tasks,
good material rewards, prosperity and confidence in the future. These
duals will quarrel and even separate when there are serious
misunderstanding on these issues that are of prime importance for
this pair.
RF (ESI) is too distrustful of the unfamiliar and the atypical, not
inclined to take up leadership positions of responsibility. In
addition, he often has complexes regarding his qualities and
abilities. PT (LIE) must logically and convincingly explain to his
partner the positive prospects of current undertakings, plan
activities, freely take on responsibility in joint matters onto his
shoulders, be resolute in carrying out their plans. By this, he
relieves RF (ESI) from painful feelings of uncertainty and doubts
about the potential future negative outcomes, as well as from
indecision and uncertainty about making the right choices and
insecurity in his abilities.
Emotional side of these relations develops along the following
scenario: RF (ESI) always keeps at a psychological distance from
others, but with his look and actions shows that he has nothing
against his partner taking initiative, drawing him thus into a game
of “hunt”. His dual is an excellent hunter, who doesn’t lose optimism
and humor under many circumstances. This softens the usually
distrustful RF (ESI), and when the ice melts, he becomes caring,
sincere, capable of self-sacrifice in love. He guards his love and
his home, and breaks up relations only in extreme cases. This makes
an impression on the conqueror, and he unwittingly finds himself in
the role of the conquered.
Their relations have a pulsating nature, as do relations of other
members of 2nd and 3rd quadra, for whom fighting spirit and orientation
at victory are characteristic. Fluctuations and contrasts in their
relations only serve as a guarantee of their longevity. Although from
aside it may seem that their personal life is far from ideal, they
themselves do not see it in such a dramatic light. The saying: “Fights
of lovers are only confessions of love”  is often about them.
PT (LIE) would have been bored with an always friendly and uncritical of
him partner. He would is such a situation distance himself from home,
follow the lead of his hobbies and extraneous interests. Elements of
“play-fighting” fire up his passion, while a partner who must be
constantly won over remains interesting for RF (ESI). He finds appeal in
those people whose management and control requires an interplay of
diplomacy and willpower. The reward for him is that he always sees the
results of his efforts, and this gives him confidence in the feelings of
his partner, as well as his strength and capabilities. A stronger
partner could have caused feelings of resentment and hostility, and
weaker  a feeling of disappointment.
PT (LIE) makes life of RF (ESI) eventful and interesting  he brings
elements of novelty, unpredictability and romance, stirs and enlivens
emotions, although often this occurs after strong shake-ups hovering on
the verge of a breakup. But this is necessary for both of them, to
appreciate each other more, and each time to feel the strength of their
union that will endure any tests. Quarrels, though frequent, are usually
transient because of the inability of PT (LIE) to accumulate and hold on
to resentment for a long time.
In sexual terms, the active partner is PT (LIE), while RF (ESI)
regulates the relationship, saving it from satiety. He is impressed by a
passionate, cheerful, reasonably humble and reasonably obstinate
partner, with whom it is never boring. After any quarrel, the expressive
gaze of RF (ESI) makes his dual immediately do everything possible to
regain harmony.
To improve these relations, we can recommend RF (ESI) to show more
sensitivity and responsiveness in response to the erotic initiatives of
his dual. Give more praises to his practical and sexual qualities,
support his initiatives, skillfully cut away the excess and switch his
attention to more realistic and useful things. PT (LIE) should pay more
attention to family and domestic issues, care more about material
prosperity, be a loyal friend and helper.
LSE-EII
¶
Duality of
LSE (ESTj, PS, Te-Si)
and
EII (INFj, RI, Fi-Ne)
.
LSE
¶
PS (LSE) is a very industrious type of personality. He has great
business acumen, he is practical and economical, knows how to handle
resources. He is a great manager of the house and conscientious worker.
Likes accurate and reliable information and is backed by figures and
evidence. He appreciates high quality in everything, beautiful things,
nourishing and tasty food. Himself rests rarely and abhors lazy people.
These qualities make him a very demanding and uncompromising person. He
needs a partner who would correspond to his notions of duty,
trustworthiness, loyalty. This should be a diligent, responsive, honest
and fair person, who is interested in improving his own skills and
qualifications.
PS (LSE) finds appeal in a person who does everything in time, who is
judicious and exercises forethought, which prevents many mistakes from
happening in professional and personal life, who has high ethical
standards and is perceptive of that which is not readily observed.
Straightforwardness of PS (LSE) and his inability to make concessions
strain communication with him. If we add to this heightened
vulnerability and personal reserve, which suddenly gives way to
outbursts of anger, distrust of people, inability to truly relax, it is
not difficult to guess that such a person needs a patient, discreet, and
sufficiently diplomatic partner.
EII
¶
EII (RI) is characterized by high emotional sensitivity and acute
perception of the slightest nuances in the relationship. Always alert,
tactful and discreet, he knows how to soothe and relieve emotional
tension of his partner. RI (EII) acts as a healer, in time to
identifying and eliminating all the factors that can disrupt the peace
of mind of his partner  by this he helps PS (LSE) to live among people.
RI (EII) never imposes his feelings and his company on anyone, but he is
kind to those who need it. His emotional sensitivity and sincerity are
admired by those who know him well. He can give the impression of being
too compliant, but this is not true. I
Possessing an outstanding talent of a teacher and educator, RI (EII) is
able to develop kinder qualities in people, instill faith in their
abilities, and he himself possesses significant creative potential and
foresight. He is picky about the ethical qualities of others, but even
more so  of his own. He is patient, diligent, and careful in attention
to detail. Among unfamiliar people, he seems skittish and unsure. He
does his work undemonstratively, as if he takes it for granted.
His flaws are a measure of conservatism, fear of change and of risky
ventures, lack of magnitude and initiative in business undertakings,
proclivity to doubt and indecision. PS (LSE) is able to build his
confidence in himself and in what he is doing, take on responsibility
and initiative, and provide effective support in pragmatic matters.
RI (EII), due to his sense of commitment and inability to separate the
primary from the secondary, gets stuck in the details of work and
overloads himself with too many tasks and requests of other people. It
is difficult for him to deny a person’s request. He also finds it
difficult to assign tasks to someone else and make them do it properly.
Excessive diligence can bring him to the point of exhaustion. In the
absence of his sharp and straightforward dual, some people may exploit
the weaknesses and kindness of RI (EII). PS (LSE) protects the interests
of his dual and drives away those who were using RI (EII) to their
advantage.
Terms of dualization
¶
PS (LSE) should be more responsive to the advice of his dual, and
then RI (EII) will be able to soften his heart and make him more
harmonious, personable, and romantic. Without his dual, PS (LSE)
seems too dry and strict person. Only selfless kindness can pave the
way to the heart of PS (LSE) and help the tenderness and sensitivity
manifest in this strong, proud, but inwardly vulnerable person.
RI (EII) should not reject the help of his dual. For realization of
what has been planned, PS (LSE) will spare no effort and will
overcome many obstacles. He only needs his partner to care for his
moods, his relations with others and to predict possible
developments. RI (EII) intuitively feels potential obstacles and
dangers, which can lead the PS (LSE), who doesn’t notice them, to
become a subject of manipulation or get drawn into violent conflicts.
PS (LSE) will give advice on which things are worth doing, and which
can be deferred, give all the necessary directions, explain the
regulations, provide the necessary know-how. He speaks directly and
accurately, cutting off all possible doubts and hesitations, which
boosts the confidence of his dual. He should protect the interests of
his dual and see to his well-being. In turn, RI (EII) helps his dual
in resolving ethical issues and in achieving high quality in work. He
makes for a good adviser in affairs, coming up with unusual ways of
solving problems.
The emotional life of this couple is very distinct. PS (LSE) does not
like to talk about his feelings or give compliments and praises. For
RI (EII) this is not necessary. He values not words and praise, but
prefers that love is shown in deeds. This PS (LSE) accomplishes very
well. He is very caring, energetic and active, looks after the
material needs of his partner and in time supplies him with
everything that he needs for a comfortable existence.
PS (LSE) also does not care for verbal expression of feelings  he does
not trust them. He is disarmed only by sensitivity, gentleness,
faithfulness and ability of partner to compromise. As for the feelings
and desires, RI (EII), implicitly reads them  he can see them in the
eyes of his dual, and tries to meet them. He shows his attitude
indirectly, but this only inspires his enterprising partner. This dyad
belongs to the 4th quadra, which has much in common with the 1st, but
unlike the pioneers of the 1st quadra, these types have accumulated in
the course of evolution the experience of previous quadra. This
experience helps them to select the best and to strive to achieve the
peak of mastery in all areas of life, but it also makes them vulnerable,
sensitive to the slightest disharmony and not resistant to stress.
Here, there is no talk of any “playful fighting”. No one will understand
this. Relations develop along the lines of
“guardian/instructorchild/student”. The role of the guardian is played
by whoever is the stronger partner. The caprices of the “child” are not
encouraged and catered to, as well as aggression from the “guardian”,
which both try not to provoke. The foundation of these relations is care
for one another, and continuous harmony of thoughts, actions and
feelings. Their love gets stronger and becomes brighter only when it
does not cause any doubts in anyone. They appreciate the reliability and
mutual aid. Together they should feel so comfortable that their trust
and affection for each other would soften life’s adversities.
If someone needs storms and shake-ups, it is not the representatives of
the 4th quadra. They need a quiet haven in a sea of life, and if they
don’t find it in their family, they feel unhappy, and despite their
understanding of family values and their need for stability may, in
extreme cases, even break up their relations.
As for the intimate side of life, the PS (LSE) is not a gentle, romantic
and affectionate partner. He has a sex drive and appreciates the erotic
side of the relationship, but he has little fantasy and is unlikely to
be a very creative in intimate relations. While RI (EII) may have more
ideas, most of all he wishes to always feel wanted and desired. He will
try to evoke the caresses of his partner, which for him would be most
convincing.
Spiritual aspects of relations this couple appreciates more than sexual
techniques. If they try to improve their sex life, it is only to evoke
erotic emotions. Attention to each other and mutual commitment nourish
their love more than any words or novelty of the sensation. Therefore,
the older their love becomes  the stronger it grows. Sincerity and
guilelessness towards one another serve as confirmation of this.
IEE-SLI
¶
Duality of
IEE (ENFp, IR, Ne-Fi)
and
SLI (ISTp, SP, Si-Te)
.
IEE
¶
IR (IEE), thanks to his imaginative inclinations, seems like a lively
and nonchalant person. He is actually very inquisitive, trying to gain
insight into complex and hidden processes and phenomena, in search of
eternal truths. He readily sees the shortcomings of other people and
imperfections of the surrounding world, constantly analyzes his own
feelings and attitudes and those of others. This is a very insightful
man who hates falsehood and hypocrisy. He needs a partner endowed with
such ethical qualities that he can permanently keep his respect and
sympathy.
He enjoys interacting with others. Often very curious, but does not like
to waste time on people who do not bring new information. Admires
talented, original, erudite and multifaceted people. He is attracted to
insecure people with undiscovered and undisclosed talents. Willingly
helps them and instills confidence in their abilities and capabilities,
generously gives compliments. His partner must strive to further develop
his talents and abilities, otherwise it will be difficult to maintain
the interest of IR (IEE).
IR (IEE) likes diversity, change, travel. His restless, imaginative
nature constantly needs new experiences, as well as interesting and
challenging problems and tasks. He needs someone to inspire, to enthrall
with his ideas. Often he doesn’t have the patience to finish what he was
working on. Therefore, he needs a partner who is responsible, serious,
reliable and hardworking.
IR (IEE) cannot easily focus on the primary over the secondary  he gets
easily distracted, thus risking to overload himself with his hobbies,
work and social contacts. He does not know how to plan and rarely
finishes things on time. SP (SLI) plans out his work, divides it into
steps, takes over routine operations and works on the specifics. He
gives advice to IR (IEE) when, to what measure, and in which sequence he
needs to carry out the steps, what needs to be done first and what can
be done later.
For IR (IEE) is difficult to fulfill his promises, to do exactly what he
has promised and do it on time, to scrupulously engage in tedious,
uninteresting, but necessary work. SP (SLI) can provide effective
assistance to IR (IEE) on any such job, and even take on full
responsibility. IR (IEE) is in need of someone who could smooth and
polish his methods and do it in the form of caring and unobtrusive
guidance. Without his dual, IR (IEE) can earn the reputation of an
irresponsible and frivolous person, if not a shirker. Together with his
dual he feels secure and is not afraid of any difficulties.
Another problem of IR (IEE) is that he likes to win over love. Striving
to win another person’s heart, he aspires to have a relationship of
heart, mind, and soul rather than a purely physical one. This leads to
many misunderstandings with those whom he has conquered, for he often
loses interest in them if they have failed to win his sincere interest
and his friendship. Few remain more needed for him than an already read
book. He finds the most appeal in a modest, interesting, and discreet
person, who would allow IR (IEE) to take the initiative within their
relationship.
SLI
¶
SLI is a person who combines qualities of both a pragmatic and an
inventive personality and who strives for self-improvement. He is
active, mobile, doesn’t shy away from labor, enjoys physical activity.
Prefers to do things with his own hands instead of relying on others. He
dislikes forcing people to do something against their will, believing
that this should be up to their conscience and freedom of choice. He is
uncompromising with those who try to impose their own vision of things
and methods. Enjoys taking care of those who are less adapted to life
than him.
As a realist and a skeptic, SP (SLI) often doesn’t easily see ways out
of difficult situations. In midst of routine, his vitality and
productivity diminish, and apathy often overtakes him. Though, in
critical situations, he quickly mobilizes and displays remarkable
resolve and energy. Consequently he has a need for novel impressions and
moral support - his needs a partner who would relieve him from a sense
of banality and futility and bring some romance and warmth into the
relationship.
Prone to melancholy, SP (SLI) especially needs his companion to be in an
optimistic mood, at least outwardly. He is suspicious and afraid of
unforeseen circumstances. Therefore, his dual must constantly talk about
what’s happening around them, what surprising things may occur, how to
prepare for them or prevent them, and which worries and fears are
groundless. SP (SLI) doesn’t easily forecast events, thus he needs to
know what lies ahead, what are the possible outcomes of a particular
path of action. He himself finds it difficult to see prospects and
future unfolding of the events.
SP (SLI) is characterized by a measure of self-doubt and inertia, which
may become especially evident in those situations which require him to
display his abilities. He needs to be inspired and mobilized for new
undertakings, for which he is always ready in his heart. The main thing
for him is to believe in the benefit and success of the job, and IR
(IEE) is very convincing in such cases. In this dyad, IR (IEE) deals
with the long-term goals and potential outcomes, while SP (SLI)
methodically and persistently implements the plans, working patiently
and carefully. SP (SLI) strives to improve his skills and
qualifications, with which he inspires admiration in his dual. Sharp
criticism could lead to SP (SLI) simply giving up, because he will not
try to prove anything to those who do not believe in him. Sincere
praises of IR (IEE) mobilize his partner, give him the assurance that
everything is going as it should.
If his partner violates and upsets the inner state of SP (SLI), which is
so difficult for him to maintain, his offense can be so great that he
will distance from such a person. He needs someone who will create safe
space for his emotions, who will try to dispel his doubts and mitigate
his internal conflicts, rather than sharpen them.
Terms of dualization
¶
IR (IEE) suffers from a lack of organization and discipline. He is
sometimes characterized by an excessive temper and stubbornness. He
is often impatient, unobservant of established rules and order, and
can react violently to reprimands. His partner should be a lenient
and patient person, who respects the independence of another. He
exerts influence on IR (IEE) only by his own participation,
skillfully coordinating the actions of his partner and coolly
perceiving his emotional outbursts. Gently and with humor SP (SLI)
dampens the emotional outbursts of his dual, shows benevolence
towards his shortcomings, and forgives him a lot due to IR (IEE)’s
spontaneity, informality, and a large array of abilities, which are
very appreciated.
SP (SLI) is so dependent on his sensory impressions, brought about by
the imperfection the surrounding world, that in order to find an
approach to him, you must first locate and remove these negative
influences that adversely impact his mood. His dual is very
responsive to another’s pain, is able to understand and console his
companion. His sincerity predisposes to mutual trust, while his
constant readiness to go towards the new and the unknown inspires
confidence in the success of joint ventures. IR (IEE) quickly removes
the skepticism and lack of confidence in his partner.
SP (SLI) delights IR (IEE) with his ability to solve any practical
problems, his practical acumen and ability to arrange everything
around hims for rational management, wholesome rest, convenience, for
benefit of the health of his loved ones. IR (IEE) complements his
partner with his ingenuity, his vision of new prospects and
opportunities. He brings to life of SP (SLI) elements of novelty and
unpredictability, suggests solutions and ways out of tricky
situations. IR (IEE), creates the atmosphere of trust, freedom and
ease, which his dual needs.
Emotionally, it is quite a contrasting pair: undemonstrative and
cool, reserved, unemotional SP (SLI) and temperamental, spontaneous,
and forthright IR (IEE). The famous song by A. Pugacheva describes
this pair:
“I forget about everything in the world when I am with you, And jump
head first into love as into the sea. You’re so cool  like an iceberg
in the ocean, With your sorrows underneath the dark waters … “
Fickle by nature, easily carried away by new people, IR (IEE) requires
an interesting and mysterious partner, who needs to be won over his
entire life. SP (SLI) is that fortress which needs to be conquered by
continuous advance. Even when he loves, he often hides his feelings
under the mask of coldness. He does not show jealousy, but instructs his
lighthearted dual on his own example.
Their main value in life is harmony in all spheres of their lives and
relations. And since this is no easy task, they often have a sense of
dissatisfaction that leads them to actively seek ways to improve their
perceptions. This pair is the most vulnerabl one in entire socion, so
great are its requirements and so finely developed the sense of harmony.
The slightest dissonance in relationships with each other and others can
plunge them into despair.
Routine often reduces their vitality. They both value their freedom and
independence in making decisions. They feel well only when they have
opportunities for creative work. Striving for perfection and harmony,
constant development of their skills  this is their main stimulus in
life. If harmony has not been achieved, they tend to react poorly to the
slightest negative tones in their relations with others and other
inconveniences of psychological and domestic kind.
The area of ??feelings and relations is the prerogative of the IR (IEE),
while SP (SLI) is well-versed in the shades and tints of sensing side of
the intimate life of this dyad. For him the one-sided joy of sex is
inconceivable. Resonance of feelings and attitudes, ensured by IR (IEE),
and of sexual sensations, which are polished and perfected by SP (SLI),
enrich their love life.
They become truly happy only when they can also achieve harmony of
thoughts, activities, interests and aspirations  harmony of life
material and immaterial. Only then their love strengthens. They cannot
exist in an atmosphere of conflict and routine. Their love is fueled by
mutual care, tact, responsiveness to the interests of each other, mutual
improvement and instruction, new experiences in their lives. They need a
lot to be happy, but if they can achieve all of it, their love
approaches an ideal.
Additional Links
¶
Duality observations
Descriptions of Dual Relations by Gulenko
Duality Descriptions by Meged and Ovcharov
Recommendations for Harmonization of Relations on Level of Types and Their Accentuations by Meged
The Dual Nature of Man: Demonstration of Attitudes and Feeling in Pre-Marital Friendship
Relations of Duality Essays by Stratiyevskaya
Romantic and Sexual Behavior of Quadras and Subtypes