Duality Relations ISTj and ENFj by Stratiyevskaya
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Written by
Vera Stratievskaya
:
original blog entry
.
Duality observations
Contents
1
PART I
1.1
1. The management of the system: the inborn sphere of competence of ISTj.
1.2
2. The union of spirituality and power.
1.3
3. Overcoming space and time: the creative program of the ENFj.
1.4
4. The union of the "administrator" and the "minstrel".
1.5
5. The union of "the most right" and "the most righteous".
2
Part II: Early stages of dualization. First problems and challenges.
2.1
1. First step of dualization: mutual trust and business interest: Channels 3 - 7, dualization over the aspects of "ethics of relations", Fi, and "logic of actions", Te.
2.2
2. The saving effect of "carefree" trait: migration and settlement on distant territories.
2.3
3. Suggestive effect on the aspect of the ethics of emotions, Fe: in life of Maxim and Hamlet there is always a place for heroic feat.
2.4
4. Succession and respect for traditions.
2.5
5. LSI-EIE: the social romance.
2.6
6. The danger of relaxation in dyad EIE-LSI: mental aristocratism and vital democratism.
2.7
7. Extreme – an effective measure and good method for preventing relaxation.
2.8
8. Activation on the aspect of "intuition of time" (Ni).
2.9
9. EIE-LSI: a rational approach.
2.10
10. Search for a place in the system.
2.11
11. Testing the strength of relations. (Not without an intrigue.)
2.12
12. Difficulty bring in a minority.
2.13
13. Complicated relations to loneliness.
2.14
14. An idyll built on contrasts.
2.15
15. The system and the idea in the dyad EIE-LSI.
2.16
16. The genie who has sat in the bottle far too long.
PART I
PART I
Programs of ENFj (Hamlet) and ISTj (Maxim): Succession of form and information as an evolutionary mission, as a property of living beings, as a social and spiritual breakthrough, as social and spiritual leadership.
Evolutionary mission of LSI (Maxim)
[*] development of a successive social hierarchy;
[*] attainment of personal social, rank superiority;
[*] attainment of personal right to creation of a personal, subordinated to himself as a person, social structure;
[*] creation of a hierarchical structure as a constantly evolving and improving form of successful, reliable, and viable existence of social rights based society within hostile to it environment.
1. The management of the system: the inborn sphere of competence of ISTj.
Maxim and hierarchy – these are inseparable concepts. Where there is Maxim, there a hierarchy arises and becomes established (that is, in cases where there isn't an already established one). Successfully fitting into another hierarchy Maxim can do as well - for him this is as simple as joining a waiting line. One only needs to know "what is given", what is valued, what are the norms, the measures, the charter of the hierarchy (its algorithm and module), who becomes promoted and for what kind of achievements, what rank or position they are granted, and what are the related benefits and privileges. Having determined this, the LSI begins to feel himself familiar within this system and is able to quickly and easily orient in new conditions (in new system relations), to quickly adapt to and assimilate into the system, to learn its ideology, its code and rules, and once he has assimilated Maxim is able to move up. He can get into its core leadership and from there easily manage the system without departing from his TIM's given "program", as if he has been doing it all his life.
In the absence of any organized system, in a democratic, "classless", or some other poorly organized society, the LSI creates a hierarchy for himself. This is again as easy for him as organizing a waiting line sign-up list for an empty office. This is because the LSI cannot imagine interactions with his environment in absence of a hierarchy. Under such circumstances, the LSI poorly orients in the world around him and in his social relations with others.
The surrounding living world the LSI also organizes systematically and hierarchically, as its owner: on basis of the principle "Man is the king of nature." With a good reason to it, he subordinates our "younger brothers", tames, trains, harnesses them for food, for entertainment, for various household needs. Animals, thus, are also subject to LSI's organized hierarchy where they exist as working (and other) units and powers. In this sense, the LSI can show himself to be an extremely talented and resourceful trainer. A representative of this type, back in 1930s, has easily solved his household problems by teaching his dog (Doberman Pinscher) to go shopping. He made a few arrangements with the newspaper manager and the cashiers of neighboring shops, and always had fresh bread, milk, and newspapers in his house.
In accordance with the the system of coordinates of his TIM, with the Ego-"program" function of hierarchical logic of relations (+Ti), LSI Maxim, wherever he may be, creates for himself a comfortable hierarchy – a comfortable, well organized eco-niche in which he can exist successfully and realize his program and creative potential. That is, to carry out the evolutionary mission of his TIM, according to which the LSI transfigures his environment (and the surrounding informational field) into an elegant, subordinated, viable social hierarchy, that continuously strives for improvement of its strength, durability, and its eco-appropriateness of the household and social constructs, that is based on a strict volitional and disciplinary regime.
2. The union of spirituality and power.
As the bee creates a honeycomb from wax – a form or construct for filling it with extremely valuable, vitally important content – honey – so does Maxim create his hierarchical constructs – usually extremely durable, significant, and grandiose by their power and monumentality of the declared objectives. The LSI creates socially structured information containers ("cells") that are intended to be filled with the fruits of human labor, the works of the positive and constructive, intellectual and spiritual creative labor, the best achievements of the contemporary to the LSI civilization and human society, with the aim of preserving and multiplying these for the purpose of transfer to successive social and cultural experiences of future generations.
From each of the "social units" of his hierarchy, from each "cell", from every creative and viable "element" of his system, the LSI requires complete dedication and sacrifice in the creation and establishment of these material and immaterial values, as well as in the safeguarding and preservation of their full potential, to be successively transfered to future generations as evolutionary, historical, spiritual, social, and intellectual expertise that is needed for the successful development and the existence of this viable hierarchical system in all possible (eco-social) circumstances and at all times.
As can be seen here, the idea of a fair re-construction of society (forwarded by LII, Robespierre), during which all "social units" turn into "workers" who equally and actively work in the field of social work (on example of ants or bees), finds its development and evolutionary implementation into practice, but not in the framework of linear, egalitarian, "democratic" ("questim") logic of relations of LII, Robespierre (-Ti), but in the framework of a hierarchical model ("declatim") logic of relations of LSI, Maxim (+Ti), implemented by aspect of volitional sensing (-Se) and founded of eco-expedient basis of a nonlinear system that has been formed evolutionarily (along a spiral).
The "honeycombs" of Maxim is the successive building of the Tower of Babel, to which each generation adds its own turn (revolution on a spiral), its own floor or row, that grows over time and transforms the hierarchical system into a multi-national and multi-lingual empire, which then splits into many disparate and self-determined people. Analogously to what happened with the Byzantine Empire, that united many disparate ethnic groups and tribes within its highly organized social hierarchy into one nation that was the spiritual, social and intellectual successor of the ancient Romans and Greeks, united by a common culture and a common religion (Orthodoxy). This empire has preserved its culture, its power, its centralized and highly sophisticated social organization for fifteen centuries.
In this sense, LSI's hierarchy works as a great conservative of the most significant and outstanding achievements of human civilization, a reliable "ark" or "capsule" that preserves successive information – the extremely important, accumulated by many generations, evolutionary (cultural, historical, and social) experience, which is necessary to preserve, to supplement and grow, and to transmit throughout the centuries, such that our descendants will no longer have to resolve same problems, but have access to already developed by their ancestors designs and solutions, that have been tested by time and space, bathed in tears and blood of glorious victories, bequeathed by will and sanctity to them together with this hierarchical system, called the fatherland, together with the land on which it stands, with all its glorious history, with extensive and deep roots, which also become their common heritage for the good memory and for all time. Their wisdom, their experience, their knowledge, their work THROUGH ALL TIMES is carried by a hierarchical state – a reliable and comprehensive repository of information, created by TIM LSI on his "program" aspect of hierarchical logic of relations (+Ti).
According to this principle – the principle of informational continuity and succession of socio-cultural, historical and evolutionary experience – the LSI organizes any social community: family, clan, tribe, clan, collective, "a group of comrades," a team, his personal life and his personal relationships with the people around him.
The role of filling of this super-stable and viable structure with highly sophisticated and significant content is taken on by the EIE (Hamlet) – his colleague, his associate and faithful assistant in all of LSI's activities and glorious deeds, oriented at innermost understanding and fruitful cooperation with TIM LSI, and united with this type by millenia of evolutionary and historical experience of successful socio-political (cultural, spiritual, and ideological) cooperation.
None of the dyads in the Socion possess such an all-encompassing spiritual and social experience and such a strict orientation at mutual cooperation as the dyad LSI-EIE. These types for centuries have went hand-in-hand, creating mega-states, mega-civilizations, and mega-empires, asserting their authority and power for centuries, erecting magnificent monuments and gigantic monumental constructions – both secular and religious – giant temples and palaces, that save for future generations the highest achievements in culture and arts of all times and of all peoples, and protecting these intellectual and spiritual treasures – priceless works of human hearts and minds, human thought and spirit – from foreign usurpation, misappropriation, ruin, and plunder by enemy raiders and destroyers of all kinds.
Maxim and Hamlet – a dyad of WARRIORS of the hierarchical social system that they themselves strive to build, cohesively and effectively, and likewise themselves fill it with sophisticated high-quality spiritual and intellectual content, themselves protect and develop it, advocate and defend its existence and well-being within the environment that surrounds this system. They expand it, strengthen and improve its stability and durability, protect it against the attacks of its "external and internal enemies", and pass it on from hand to hand to most reliable and prepared for the succession representatives – the best of future generations – as the most precious treasure, the most valued sacred relic.
Within this lies the highest goal and the main task of the dyad LSI-EIE, which links to every element of their "programs", each conceptual module of every informational aspects of their TIM models. Without the understanding of the evolutionary, socio-historical mission of these sociotypes, it is not possible to understand the core nature of the relationship of this dyad, nor the heart of the disagreements and mismatches in their interactions with other TIMs.
Because in actions of every person, they wish not only to see the logic of actions and conceptual correlations of their dual, but they also wish to see (to track and identify) some sort of connection to the over-goal, the highest objectives of this dyad, that are strategically set and determined by the ideologist of this dyad (and of the entire 2nd quadra) - EIE, Hamlet. The conceptual quality of ideology, its spiritual focus, its ideological and social significance, its accordance to the contemporary pressing problems, and with the tactical and strategic goals and objectives of the system – are fully entrusted to EIE, Hamlet – this is his prerogative. The EIE is the soul of this dyad, its ideological content and spiritual filling.
Meanwhile, the adaptation of the filling to the form, the compact compression of its content – of its information richness, density, wholesomeness – is ensured by LSI, Maxim, who adjusts the form to the content (for worthy content - a worthy vessel!). LSI is also the most ardent keeper and safeguard of the spiritual values that have been amassed by the EIE. It is also the LSI who by high requirements and strict discipline orients the EIE at clossedness and self-sufficiency of their hierarchy (their system). Maxim is watchful that no alien influences and trends would penetrate with their corrosive poison into the "precious vessel" of their values, that not a drop "nectar" would fall into the "other cells" (else he imposes strict demands: "Our ideas in exchange for your bread, your rights, and your land"). In other words, if you want to be our spiritual successors, then become a part of our system. And how can it be otherwise? Otherwise it cannot be!
Indeed, the quality of spiritual content the EIE provides of the highest and most sophisticated sort: into the spiritual fabric of his ideologies, the EIE integrates all the most beautiful and poetic tales, myths, legends, fantasies and images that he gathers on his information field, fluttering along it as gracefully and with ease as a butterfly moves among the most exquisite flowers. It is no accident that a butterfly reviving from its "capsule" (chrysalis) was an ancient cultural symbol of immortality of the soul. While the durability and strength of the "capsule" – of this symbol of future ease of flight of the imagination – is provided by Maxim. He, as a good manager and owner, protects this life-giving source, this spiritual and energy torch of his dyad from breakdown and contamination, and from harmful influences, by keeping it in a strictly limited, confined space, with no light and air. Only when it has matured to take the flight of free spirit, free thought and free fantasy, the "butterfly-soul" makes it through all these obstacles ("breaks the capsule") and becomes free – this means that it has become strong enough to carry the valuable information ("precious nectar") to other fields and environments over long distances, through space and time.
3. Overcoming space and time: the creative program of the ENFj.
Overcoming of the obstacles, resisting the difficulties by force of will and spirit – are some of the major requirements within this dyad – the main conditions of its endurance and resilience. And, of course – self-sacrificing, creative work by vocation, that is subordinated to the directives of the soul and the powers of inspiration – here is an especially revered value – the mission of the elect, dedicated, spiritual benefactors of society – the representatives of the spiritual and intellectual elite, the belonging to which by his calling feels the EIE, Hamlet.
Transforming into the tangible artistic values the ​​highly surreal and intangible spirituality, the EIE creates his or her treasures: that very collection of beautiful dreams, myths, images, and stories, which he brings from the outside world, collecting them through the most beautiful and important objects of the surrounding reality. Having his fill "fluttering" like a butterfly or a bee around the "flowers" – around all that is bright, impressive, and attractive – the EIE collects his "nectar" and carries it to the "cell", in order to create out of the best a valuable material substance, that keeps and retains for each suffering soul its life-giving and healing properties throughout time.
From this comes EIE's interest in collecting art treasures, that many members of this TIM collect for those to whom this will be valuable in the future, who will carefully manage and preserve them, and pass them on to future generations.
But of course it is the LSI who takes "the first test" of this "honey". He is its main degustator and guardian.
The LSI prefers to be "first" for the EIE in all relations and respects. In dyad LSI-EIE this point is extremely important (traditionally important) and is subconsciously observed and respected by both partners. Troubles start when LSI learns that he is not the first for his EIE partner – the "fusion of the halves" (a reliable and durable dualization) already cannot happen: a sense of security is lost.
And yet, the EIE has many opportunities to convince the LSI of his rightness: EIE's power lies in verbal emotional effect, in the emotional richness and energy intensity of his information; in his ability, through the power of word and imagination, to gain value and importance in society; to pierce by the word, as if by the edge of a sword, through the centuries influencing the hearts and minds of the people, causing them to empathize with the fate of the heroes of past ages as can only be done by the EIE – EIE the actor, the playwright, the poet.
Nature creates a person as imperfect, allowing him or her to improve every day, but it is the person himself who, with his hands, his thoughts, his feelings, and his sophisticated, sometimes traditionally advanced technologies, passed on over the centuries from generation to generation, creates works of art that are perfect in their thought, their form, in their emotional expression and their content.
From this come the high demands of the EIE towards any creation and creative work – high demands to its quality and depth, to the informational and substantiative compactness of content for the perfect harmony and perfection of the form – to all that is expressed and provided for by sophisticated "high style" and "high-tech" extroverted aspects of the "evolutionary" ring of benefit (LSE-ILE-EIE-SEE).
His creative task and challenge the EIE sees in taking the global, constructive ideas, that relate to the fundamental constructs of the world, worldviews, perceptions and understandings, which he receives over the aspect of intuition of potential (+Ne) from his "benefactor" ILE, Don Quixote, and supplementing them with the brightest imagery and fantasies that are deep in meaning and succinct in content. And putting them into a harmonically sophisticated and brightest in strength of expression and impressions form (which the EIE later sends to the material-technical processing and preservation ("conservation") of his dual LSI, and his social successor SEE, who in turn will forward it to the technological improvement of his "beneficiary" LSE, who in turn will forward it back to the ILE for further intuitive complication and expansion of possibilistic capacity at the new turn of "the spiral" of evolution).
The energy of the word endowed with huge possibilistic potential – the energy of the image, that has kept the fervor of feeling and warmth of an immortal human soul, overcoming space and time – is able to reach a high goal and illuminate it with the light of truth, that has made it from the depths of the past centuries encompassing within it all that is best.
And this idea – the overall and over-arching "program" of TIM EIE, Hamlet – is absolutely gorgeously expressed by William Shakespeare (EIE, Hamlet) in one of his finest sonnets (55th):
"Not marble, nor the gilded monuments
Of princes, shall outlive this powerful rhyme;
But you shall shine more bright in these contents
Than unswept stone besmear'd with sluttish time.
When wasteful war shall statues overturn,
And broils root out the work of masonry,
Nor Mars his sword nor war's quick fire shall burn
The living record of your memory.
'Gainst death and all-oblivious enmity
Shall you pace forth; your praise shall still find room
Even in the eyes of all posterity
That wear this world out to the ending doom.
So, till the judgment that yourself arise,
You live in this, and dwell in lovers' eyes."
Energy – is the conductor of all the best, all the brightest, all the most pure and sublime – from the present time into the distant, bright future, the distant long periods of time. (+Fe, -Ni).
In this regard, the energy needs to be clean, memories - full of light, images - lofty, bright, and perfect in form, and maximally high-quality and informationally compact in content.
This program is the maximum of TIM EIE. It comes down to bringing the happiness to mankind by the creation of a better future from the present. And to bringing happiness to oneself by knowing that one was involved in this noble mission.
Piercing space and time by the power of feeling, spiritual purity, and greatness of thought, the energy of the word is able to stay ahead of the time, to conquer it, passing on the greatest wisdom and the most profound meaning to the farthest edges of the future. Transcending space, flying through the millennia, the continuity of the image, the continuity of information – a strong, dynamic, and energy-rich – finds its successor, and places its own request, becomes his or her vocation, his social or spiritual mission, his guiding star.
4. The union of the "administrator" and the "minstrel".
Times we do not choose ... In the old days, in the era of the Dark Ages, when the relations within this dyad could come together most closely, tied by friendship and mutual cooperation, and its representatives, being socially and spiritually in demand during this time period, they could more fully and visibly realize themselves, to simple and humble workers and laypersons in most cases, for such hopelessly boring and dull were the days. The joys and vivid impressions were not in abundance, especially for those who bore the burden of military service, of complex administrative issues and difficult organizational and management problems, within domestic and social conditions that were not simple and sometimes downright risky. What else besides a fantastically bright idea and a dream of attainable happiness could make Maxim to break out of dark despair and boredom?
The LSI could day-to-day, with patience and fortitude, bear his guard duty, standing on the platform of an observation tower of some medieval castle, knowing what a generous prize awaits him if he will have served his lord, that he will be rewarded by a great honor to carry the guard in the evening at a gala dinner in the banquet hall, where he will feel happy, in paradise, when they will heat up the chimney, kindle the lamps, bring in the musicians. And some sweet, modest girl – charming, like a young fairy – will sing with a clear angelic voice, accompanying herself on the lute, some improvisation or an old ballad about the love of a noble knight to a lovely lady. Then he himself will want to become such a noble knight, to win the honor and glory, to do some great feat to become knighted, to obtain the title, coat of arms, a small estate in the property, and - most importantly! - the hand of the pretty singer as the award. To become a part of her life, her world, her inspiration, her joy, her fate. To become her protection and support to the end of the century. And to live for her and for their common future in the world of images born out of her imagination and inspiration.
The EIE sets high spiritual goals for the LSI. He puts before him ambitious projects and tasks, and himself suggests their solutions. Most often this is done allegorically – by subtle hints, abstract images, and fantasies embodied in works of art. Understanding EIE's parables literally, and taking them as a his "program", the LSI comes to the final frontiers, opens up new perspectives for himself, and, by tactical moves, step-by-step, rises further and higher up the career ladder. And now he has reached the desired: behold, he was promoted to the rank, married to a lovely girl, and their family received separate quarters in the castle, albeit still very modest. And here they are already sitting at the lord's table at the feast (and not even in the most remote place). But for new achievements they are allocated lands, given a small estate as a gift. And now, in their own ancestral castle, they arrange everything the same way it was arranged in the court of their lord. The same rules and regulations are established, the same traditions of festive dinner, with musicians in the bountiful rooms. There arises a new environment around them, new nobility, new artistic and intellectual elite. The spacious rooms become covered with their family portraits; the galleries - with collections of captured weapons and works of skilled craftsmen and artisans. Family archives, libraries, education studios, art and craft shops are created. Around them a small city arises, perhaps even a small state. And it will have its own history, its own succession (its own evolutionary potential), its own traditions and customs. Its flag and its coat of arms that was received by the founder of the city a long time ago for the first combat service and achievements.
The union of LSI and EIE – is the inseparable union of the militant, harsh administrator and the romantic dreamer-poet (union of "warrior" and "minstrel") who always needed one another: without the colorful, fabulous creations of the minstrel to brighten up the cold lonely nights, the life of the warrior would be unbearable. Painted in gloomy, black, white, and grey colors (at times with a mix of blood red), such life would suppress the warrior by its cold, devastating of the soul sadness, by its bleak gray mundane labor days, that do not forebode anything bright and joyful. The strength and desire to live, to continue fighting for existence, to protect and defend, to engage in battle and to win, wouldn't be enough. It is only the introduction to this treasure chest of fantasy, fairytale, and poetic images – artistic, literary, and musical – that brightens up his existence, creates a sense of celebration, becomes an affordable and easy journey to a magical world of illusion and fantasy, allowing him to dream and hope for the best, to feel happy in this dark and hopeless reality. The belief in a better world, in the immortality of the soul, the light and hope for better changes, the LSI also draws from the works of his dual, the EIE. His dual, in turn, draws his inspiration from LSI's severity, strength, and masculinity, and from his optimism and the love of life, and celebrates LSI's exploits enveloped by the glory of past battles, creating strikingly accurate and vivid images, recreating the exact description of the events, of which the EIE talks in such detail and vividness as if he was a witness to these events.
Without color, light, richness and romantic creativity of the EIE, the life of LSI would be terrible, mundane, and gloomy, alike a raw, cold, dark cellar. It wouldn't even be life, as it would't supply him with either energy and strengths, nor the desire to live and enjoy his existence (-Fe).
The LSI is the "subjectivist" of second quadra (quadra of "merry", "aristocratic" types) and his life is subordinated to social and ideological schemes, to social and ideological rituals, that include all of his service schedules, his duty rosters, his work and home routines. Whether he is standing guard, or reporting in the office of his supervisor – he is in rank, he is sharp and collected in his bearing, he is disciplined. He's ready in our times, just like he was a hundred, two hundred, five hundred or a thousand years ago, to work and to protect, to fight or to duel (if necessary), ready for the "class" and political struggles – ready to submit his life to the interests of the system, ready to fill it with joyous holidays – with military celebrations and formations, with solemn oaths and vows, triumphant parades and processions, vivid spectacles of festive folk festivals with singing, dancing and theatrical performances. These are traditional holiday rituals, handed down from generation to generation, and traditional cultural rituals, and also contribute a certain mood and variety in his life – that discipline, move one to respect the strength and power of the system, provoke one to appreciate own well-being that is provided for by the system, its economic and military prowess (a particular point of honor for Maxim), and its spiritual and social priorities, which the LSI deeply respects, and at which he orients for to as long as they are justified by the real successes and achievements of the system.
5. The union of "the most right" and "the most righteous".
Analogously to the way the LSI interacts with the environment – creates for him/herself a comfortable, hierarchically organized eco-niche, and enacts his management and leadership within it – that is, takes up a dominant position of the overseer, of the administrator – similarly, the EIE, interacting with the environment, creates a convenient for him/herself ideological hierarchy, and becomes its permanent autocratic leader. Appropriating the highest degree of dedication to the mysteries of the spiritual and irrational realms, the EIE creates new priestly institutions, new cultural places, and does not permit anyone else to compare with him in the level of initiation and dedication to the highest cult knowledge, nor to compete with him in the righteousness of serving a higher power.
No other dyad in the socion has left behind such brilliant imprints of their interaction with the environment as the dyad LSI-EIE, that, over the past centuries and millennia, has been creating and establishing administrative, cultural, and religious institutions and organizations, bureaucratic and theocratic hierarchies of all possible sizes and designs imaginable, that surpassed by their intricacy and sophistication designs of all the variety of social structures that have been created by other dyads of the Socion.
The ability to create a comfortable eco-niche in his environment, an eco-system of a particular configuration that corresponds to the value system (system of coordinates) of TIM models (or the system of values and coordinates of the "program" information element), as well as the ability to create (or recreate) a complete evolving eco-system based on one single "program" element (the informational aspect), in this essay we will call the fractal property of this "program" element (of the information program, of the information aspect, of the model of TIM).
Similarly to how a seed re-creates the entire grown plant, reproducing all the properties inherent to it, so does the information aspect of model "A" reproduce programmed qualities championed by this aspect of the model within the environmentally appropriate limits (this is applicable to any aspect, not only the "program" one). Due to this, the social eco-system organized by any information model can, over a long period of time and quite self-sufficiently (given favorable external and internal conditions), develop quite intensively and rapidly, accruing power and possibilistic potential, because here much is dependent on the ideological and administrative programming (from static and dynamic basis); the proof to this is once again the dyad LSI-EIE, that, in various epochs, has created and established mega-empires and mega-civilizations that lasted for long periods of time being quite successful in their self-sufficiency and in self-imposed isolation. Which again speaks of the enormous evolutionary potential dyad Hamlet - Maxim.
The ability to create for themselves comfortable, ideologically "justified" eco-niches, and within them – favorable, hierarchically advantageous to themselves "ideological loopholes", latent "moves" and "exits", and departmental shifts, that allow to appropriate by "default" new ranks, rights, and powers – is just as typical of Hamlet, as it is of Maxim, who, for his own benefit, uses economic and administrative "vents", allowing both of them to enjoy virtually unlimited authority in their positions, while continuing to be completely lawful (in their own opinion) "elements" of all-powerful structures.
LSI-EIE is the dyad of lawmaker-founders that create the ideological and spiritual foundations for the order of law. In this case, the LSI serves as a decisive, strong-willed administrator, and EIE - as a harsh ideologue, cruel and merciless, convinced of the fact that with any other conditions such administration won't last. Harsh administration requires a harsh ideology that permits for a social regime of terror and fear, and requires from all members of the hierarchy readiness to complete self-sacrifice, complete dedication, and high level of commitment in the interests of the system.
The union of LSI and EIE – is the union of two pedantic people: "rational", "obstinate" "subjectivists", who keep to and uphold the charter of the system, its set of rules and regulations, its code, that doesn't change its label nor deviates from what's acceptable. Both are capable of masterfully orienting in the relations, moves, and shifts within the system (of rank, caste, class), and able to "move" themselves and "move" other necessary "elements of the system" in the right direction, creating useful and favorable connections and destroying those that are dangerous and inconvenient. This is their intrinsic trait, part of the "innate professionalism" of their TIMs that cannot be learned or acquired by any other way – one has to be born with it. Born exactly in the second quadra – quadra of aristocratic subjectivists (worshipers of the system). And exactly in the rational dyad of "obstinate" pedants, who don't step back from their system of coordinates and values and who don't retreat from the regulations even one step (under favorable conditions) – in the dyad that unites, for the purpose of carrying out its assigned role and social mission, "the most right" (LSI) - the best expert, teacher, instructor, and enactor of rules and regulations – and "the most righteous" (EIE) - the best director of cultural and spiritual rituals and ceremonies (of all periods of time and of all peoples), the best expert of all ceremonial ordinances and secrets, the gatherer and compiler of rituals, rites, and traditions, the best interpreter of all signs, the foreseer of the possible events - the best and the only "profet of his own country". It is only in the union with such a valued expert, ensuring the support of all powers within the real and the surreal worlds, that the LSI can feel sufficiently protected. And, of course, profound belief in the integrity of service to the obligations entrusted to them strengthens their union, their unbounded and indestructible trust and respect for each other, that they begin to experience from the first minute of acquaintance, and that mustn't fade for the entire time of their co-existence in the dual dyad.
Part II: Early stages of dualization. First problems and challenges.
1. First step of dualization: mutual trust and business interest: Channels 3 - 7, dualization over the aspects of "ethics of relations", Fi, and "logic of actions", Te.
Already at first acquaintance the LSI shows him/herself as an interesting conversationalist – extremely erudite and well-read, given to thorough thought, witty, able to maintain the conversation on almost any topic. At the same time (on basis of emotiveness associated with mobility and communicability over normative aspect of the ethics of relations, +Fi), Maxim makes an impression of a sensitive and sympathetic person, attentive, caring, tactful, capable of deep nuanced feelings and compassion. All of these traits are extremely appealing to the EIE and thoroughly impress him or her under favorable circumstances and with a pleasant initial impression: good looks, gallant manners, refined taste, external charm, tidiness, neatness, accuracy, self-discipline, acting considerately, holding oneself in society with dignity, courting beautifully and generously, and being exact with fulfilling one's promises.
In cases when the relationship seems to be "worth it", the LSI imparts on the partner the most well-disposed and favorable impression (on a maximum of his upbringing and education). If expectations are not justified, the LSI can likewise switch from the state of high chivalry to extreme rudeness: the LSI dislikes being taken for a "fool", being cheated, kept for an idiot, baited and switched – in such cases becomes offended, angry, and considers it his duty to punish the offender. If the "punishment" consists only of an angry verbal attack or a loud rebuke, it can be said that the offender got off easy. The LSI is unforgiving of hurtful jokes and ruses: as it is exactly when he's made such an important bet on tying a favorable and advantageous acquaintance with the goal of finding a life partner, that he least wants to be sent on a wild goose chase, to waste his time, his chances, strengths, and material resources on a "fake", that could lead to no end of troubles and prove to be a dangerous and unsound connection.
As a systematic logical type, a static, an aristocrat, and a declaring type, that puts ahead of him/herself ambitious goals and strives to achieve them promptly, the LSI is pragmatic: he's not going to expend himself on false (sidewise) goals, but attempts to systematically combine and arrange them such that each of the achieved goals would realize other tasks, resolve other challenges, and open before him new prospects. If one gets married, then on a girl or woman with connections, a good dowry, a residence permit, with ideal living conditions (such that later one wouldn't have to leave), with gorgeous looks, well-mannered, well-educated (not to feel ashamed of her before the society), with good practical and business skills (so that with her help much could be achieved), that is organized and diligent, well-wishing and friendly, such that she was a good person, a great hostess, wife and mother, respectful towards her husband, his parents, and his children.
The LSI is the obstinate-declaring-static-aristocratic-rational introverted sensing systematic logical type. And, given the combination of all these traits, he or she is extremely picky about the qualities and characteristics of the future life partner. But most importantly – he or she is very prudent, pragmatic, and stubborn – uncompromising (on psychological grounds). Life must "break" the LSI hard before he or she lets go of at least an inch of his demands and requirements towards a partner. Thus, the LSI looks for a partner to bring home as meticulously as in the good old days the farmer looked to buy a horse or a cow. He will comprehensively evaluate each trait and each quality, and think through every step beforehand (it is also preferable to check the quality of the new acquisition on the spot, and still have the possibility to return it back as unwanted, and even make a claim and present a bill for any resulting moral and material costs).
When an LSI (even an old, wise by life experience person) visits a dating service, he, at first, seems to be an unassuming and unpretentious client. But when he begins to list all the requirements necessary for his potential mate, the computer doesn't have enough memory to save it all. (While the employees of dating serves generally prefer to not have to deal with him and accept his application: as, on one hand, the LSIs are providing plentiful information about themselves, while on the other the IEEs are out searching (just in case - perhaps someone interesting will show up) - and there's decisively no one to match to anyone else.)
Trying to pair up "on calculation" and following up with strict correspondence to his or her demands, the LSI falls directly on the IEE, who is very good at accurately guessing what yet another "hero of the day" wants, and behaves very prudently and flexibly on the principle "as you please, sir?" arriving at the epicenter of relations of conflict, when, it seems, some long-awaited miracle appears on the horizon, and each partner is waiting for "the continuation of this magic dream", while it turns into a terrible reality.
Dualizing with the LSI "out of calculation and convenience" - is more expensive to oneself! The LSI is a practical and economical manager: in no time that he brings his new wife back home with him that he finds her a "useful" application. Directs and sends her "to work" – to the kitchen, to the field, to the barn, to the stable ... Here comes the end of all romance!
Therefore, for full happiness, the LSI needs the kind of romance that does not develop as a myth or a dream, and will not collapse like a mirage at the first encounter with reality.
Of course, the LSI can dualize with a partner from a low-income family, with a fellow student at the institute, with someone from neighboring communal college housing. And all the previous requirements here will fall by the wayside. Somewhere, in the depths of LSI's memory, will arise the image of that charming minstrel from the medieval castle. And, of course - Here's my happiness! Nothing else is needed! All the old calculations will be forgotten immediately. There will be no other wish and desire than to serve that beautiful lady, and be her "knight in shining armor" ...
Dualizing with "a girl from the communal housing" is even preferable because it is here that the LSI has an opportunity to look closely at her and judge her ability to successfully exist within "system relations", observing all the rules of "communal living". (Life in a medieval castle, too, was organized according to the principle of "communal cohabitation", even though it was paid for by the feudal lord and followed rank differences: those closer to the elite had the most comforts and privileges. But the ability to live in communal housing – quietly, modestly, tidily, observing decorum, and not going beyond one's statute – would distinguish that girl who had every reason to establish the best opinion about herself (among the controlling structures), to get the best recommendation, to make a successful career, to earn the reputation of being "exemplary", "dutiful", "indispensable", and get closer to the "elite" in the shortest possible time. It is precisely such a wife, suitable for living in any enclosed and self-contained system, that the LSI will chose based on his calculations and sympathies.
Such a girl the LSI will look for within his circle and in his league, relying on his powers of observation. (And his eye is sharp!). Such "diamond" he will look for to make her his life partner – a "modest diamond" of pure essence. From the way the girl/woman holds and behaves herself in the community – quietly, modestly, but with dignity and with clear understanding of her place in the system, while not losing it, not giving way to anyone, and defending her rights by lawful, normal, legitimate ways; by the way she knows how to be friendly with the people around her and respectful of elders; by the way she is able to allocate and spend the time doing useful and needed tasks (for successful existence in communal conditions); by the way she selects her inner circle from the most trustworthy and well brought up peers; by the way she organizes her leisure time, visiting theaters, museums, libraries – from all of this it becomes clear whether she would make an appropriate match for such "a person of the system" ("a man in a case") as is Maxim. Here, as a rule, either everything fits "one to one" (as in a good cliché) or doesn't match at all.
The LSI will pick a girl/woman with an impeccable reputation, about whom no one has a bad word to say. (Otherwise, he won't be able to live with her – being the most socially oriented TIM, he is highly dependent on the opinion of people around him. The LSI chooses a decent inner circle, fearing "what if something happens" and safeguarding himself on the "vulnerable" function of negative intuition of potential, -Ne. Therefore, he won't look for a girlfriend among mischievous girls and dare-devils. (He bypasses them a mile away, trying not to have anything to do with them.) While LSI's fears of "what if something happens" have to be shared by his companion EIE (Hamlet), as the aspect of intuition of potential opportunities in this dyad is a repressed value. Therefore, the EIE woman also won't make friends with anyone who creates grounds for gossip (if she values her reputation, wants to remain in system, and to move up to privileged positions). For the EIE, as well as for the LSI, outside of the hierarchy there is no existence in the system, and "that soldier is a poor one, who doesn't want to become a general". Unaccompanied the woman EIE also wouldn't want to appear: due to extraversion and "aristocracy", and due to "decisive" and "negativist" traits (one needs support able to shield from potential trouble, because "what if something happens"). As a "strategist" and an "asking" type, that complicates attainment of the goal with obstacles, the EIE also doesn't want to be too easily accessible for Maxim. She first needs to test his resolve, determination, and patience. It is necessary to give the LSI a chance to think about his decision and his true intentions. Although disappointing him, cooling him down and making him indifferent, she also won't do. Her entourage is already sufficiently schooled and obeys her without question: appears and disappears upon the first request, and perfectly understands her hints and insinuations. Therefore, she will appear at the right time and in the right place (her intuition never fails) and the LSI gets an opportunity to use this chance.
The partner seems to be flawless if she is able to mesmerize by her look and voice, by the energy of her words and of her expressions and gestures. (And all of it are attributes of the emotional expressiveness of EIE (Hamlet) - innate and acquired: taken note of and learned, tested and tried, honed to mastery, brought to the highest level of perfection.) Any EIE is able to learn good manners, movements, facial expressions and plastics, knowing that they will be useful in life. It is not necessary to visit the actor's studio for this; although Hamlet is pulled to theater, to cinema, to spectacles of all genres and levels, from an early childhood. EIEs are extremely observant – they notice and copy everything they find interesting in others: the characters, facial expressions, gestures, looks, gait and smile – and choose for themselves the model that seems most appropriate for the occasion, or the most natural and organic to their environment.
On the normative, technological aspect of "logic of actions" (+Te), Hamlets also successfully occupy themselves as technologists (individual and mass) of communication models, and advantageously leverage this capability for tactical and strategic purposes: to be a leader, to be the "soul" and center of any company, to gain wild popularity, to inspire boundless confidence, to influence the thoughts, feelings, interests and attitudes of people in any society and at any level, within the widest circles. (In the sphere of political technologies, of directing and modeling of social phenomena and events, few other types can compare with Hamlet.)
Even with modest appearance, the EIE can impart a strong impression on the LSI without much difficulty. The problem lies in being a match to him on all the social parameters as well. (LSI is a person of the system. He/she is a system logical "aristocrat", who divides people on formal grounds: by social strata or rank, based on ethnic, religious, and ideological commonalities, by objectives and professions - prestigious, and not very. The LSI is a conformist: he doesn't go against the existing power and is not inclined to support the opposition. Although representatives of this TIM are found among dissidents, including opposition leaders, and function successfully in these circles, creating for themselves suitable eco-niches among the numbers of like-minded individuals.)
LSI – the snob. LSI – the esthete. Comfort, well-maintained household, prestigious familiar connections and ties, popularity in society, high social status, and the dominating influence on environment – all of this is valuable to the LSI. Thus, in the process of dualization of this dyad, the program of correcting the social normatives gets turned on in order to "fit the desired to the real" – to work through everything that is needed to achieve the necessary level of psychological and social adaptation to their social environment – to the hierarchical system of relations within which their dual relations will develop further. For the LSI it is extremely important that his companion is received and treated as an equal in his circle, that he won't have to be ashamed for her and have to justify her behavior, or explain her awkward and unethical actions. For the LSI it is important that his companion "suits the court", the new for her system, that she is able to adequately and organically enter into it and become "one of own" for the most respected and revered members, that she is able to find the right and appropriate tone for her relationships with everyone.
This task is complicated by the fact that both the LSI and the EIE are "obstinate" types. "Obstinacy" is one of their dyadic traits. Neither one nor the other is willing to lower the level of their requirements and demands. Furthermore, they don't allow their partners to lower their demands towards themselves either, and to be lenient towards their weaknesses and the weaknesses of others. Here, both being rational pragmatists (LSI on "observing" function of -Te and EIE on normative function of +Te) try to realistically estimate and weigh their own chances and the chances of their partner.
It is another dyadic trait that saves them - the "Carefree" trait.
2. The saving effect of "carefree" trait: migration and settlement on distant territories.
Everyone is familiar with these student weddings – when the newlyweds live in different housing for two-three years (each with five, ten flatmates and neighbors), meeting only in secret, and spending time together only during the holidays (when the other flatmates and neighbors leave), or when they come to visit their relatives and friends back home, when at least someone starts to respect their rights as a newly formed couple. But then again, up to a point: it's not at all easy to become "the head of household" – that is, the founder of a new family hierarchy that, in addition, has to "embed" into the already existing, dominant, parental hierarchy on the rights of the subordinate, usually humiliated and subdominant unit. It is difficult primarily because the parents traditionally start to undermine and break down this subdominant hierarchy (i.e. a new, younger, more fragile family), showing them in all possible ways that they have been and will remain on subordinate positions. And if the parents wish, they can even be divorced. The main purpose – the birth of grandchildren – can be achieved with divorced spouses, and grandmother and grandfather can replace the absent parent.
The newlyweds LSI and EIE in this situation feel terrible. They cannot disobey and not honor their parents. Neither can they allow parents to destroy their young family: for this they would need to constantly pull them back, to argue, to object to them, to challenge their views, their order, their actions aimed (traditionally) at the destruction of a young family that the parents now see as a rival one, contesting and putting a claim to the dominating role. However, there cannot be two equally dominant hierarchies in a centralized system. This means that either the common system will become decentralized, i.e. the young family will move away from their parents, or that the new, young family will no longer be centralized (cease to be a hierarchy), and will be destroyed at the root, and lose some of its important "program" functions and positions, its structural connections, units, and elements. The LSI, as a "program" structural logical type, understands this better than anyone, seeing how his ties to his parents are coming apart (under the effect of their disrespectful attitude towards him), and how his connection with his wife is being broken down, when she is forced to endure humiliation and to witness the humiliation of her husband. Even though it happens in the second quadra that "whoever shouts/cries the loudest, gets the most rights", this only applies to relations within the system and between people of equal in standing and rank within the same hierarchy. With those who are "senior in rank", the LSI and the EIE are bound to observe subordination in accordance with the "programs" of their TIMs. Therefore, parents are not talked back to (otherwise, what kind of family is this? and what example can be set for the children?) The rights of parents are generally respected here. Violating the rights of parents – is a violation of the rules of family's subordination, of family's hierarchical succession, family customs and traditions, which are considered a core value of the dyad Maxim - Hamlet and upheld as sacred here.
Everything ends well if holidays are brief, or if there is a reason to cut them short and return back to school and to studies. All is well if upon the graduation the newlyweds are able to move to a room in the distant city, leave their parents and begin building their lives on their own. A new family hierarchy arises, free from old remnants and prejudices of the previous parental hierarchies, created at a new place, under a new (evolutionary) angle on the axis of time, at which everything is organized in accordance to new (contemporary to them) order and regulations, amenable to their mutual respect, mutual assistance, mutual sharing of rights and responsibilities. Without difficulties, of course, it cannot be, but what saves them is optimism, determination, perseverance, and the fact that in the life of Maxim and Hamlet there is always room for a heroic feat.
3. Suggestive effect on the aspect of the ethics of emotions, Fe: in life of Maxim and Hamlet there is always a place for heroic feat.
From the first minute of his meeting his dual, the EIE begins to orient the LSI towards some heroic deed – towards uncovering and implementing his forces and capabilities to their maximum – by trying to interest the LSI with himself, and with relations with him, and to instill in the LSI a deep belief and interest in the possible beneficial prospects that will become available to the LSI if he sets ambitious goals and wishes to achieve them.
Why is this necessary for the EIE?
The problem is that the LSI is timid (in the sense that he cannot go beyond what is permitted by the framework of the system). The LSI – is a realist, a sound-thinking pragmatist. He himself is not inclined to overestimate his strength and capabilities. He doesn't take on excessive responsibilities or jump higher than his head to grab one of the stars from heaven. Maxim is not prone to adventurism. Work or business adventures are usually not his methods. His motto is "slow and steady wins the race". The main thing – is to not be a burden to the system: to keep up and do everything in its time and in place. To not be dragging behind at the tail, to not be among the laggards, to not weigh down the team. Trying to "take another's seat" or to jump over the heads of "senior companions" the LSI also doesn't view as a possibility. These are not system relations, this goes against the rules of the system, within the system (especially if hierarchical) one does not act like this. (If someone discovers these inappropriate methods to gain promotion, there will be shame to no end – how will he later look his colleagues in the eye?)
The EIE directs and moves the LSI to feasible adventures. Such as, for example, the implementation of a very daring creative, political, professional or social project. The EIE may lead him to the thought of an unequal (in hierarchical terms) marriage, that goes against the requirements of the system, which the LSI is used to consider and respect. However, the EIE waves away all of his doubts: what kind of knight is he, if he cannot work up the courage for one daring breakthrough, for one bold step or a daring deed, and at least once to go against the rules of the system? (If the LSI doesn't give in to this impulse – this means the effect on his "suggestive" function (i.e. the suggestion) didn't occur. In this case, the LSI will make the worst recommendation for himself in the eyes of his dual: he will appear as an "utterly unfeeling person" and a "traitor" with whom it's better not to have any business. The EIE can also motivate the LSI "on a dare". (And this is right, why shouldn't he at least once feel himself like a price able to marry his Cinderella?)
What should be done to make a snob-LSI (for example, a young man from elite circles) to marry a simple girl from the communal housing?
The EIE relies on ethics of emotions. He or she strives to make a lasting impression on the dual, with all his powers to ingrain into LSI's soul. But he does so solely by the power of emotions: by exceptionally expressive look, impelling intonations, emotional pathos, force and energy of speech, depth and expressiveness of thought. In every movement, gesture, gaze the EIE tries to be compelling - awe-inspiring, stunning, unforgettable. He operates on the principle: came, amazed and shocked, and conquered! (Mesmerized, fascinated, "broke through"!)
The EIE does not say – he speaks. And "fans out" emotions to the maximum (+Fe). He plays artificially and theatrically (or with a touch of theatricality), but extremely impressively, sincerely, and deeply. The EIE himself believes what he is trying to express in such moments. He feels inspired himself and inspires the LSI in the process. The EIE is a player. Once he has chosen a suitable dual partner, he puts a lot at stake in this moment. He tries to be very convincing, being sure in advance (feeling intuitively) that the gullible and naive LSI won't take note of this excessive theatricality (with all attendant "special effects").** And not everyone takes not of it – only "program"ethical types notice the excessive pathos of Hamlet. While for Maxim, this is exactly what is needed for the full effect on his "suggestive" "dual-seeking" function (for the completeness of suggestion or persuasion). When the emotional impulse is weaker, these "signals" would have never made it through to the LSI or arrived with a huge delay, and the LSI would have remained indifferent to the "performance" of his dual. If the emotional impulse is too strong, the LSI considers that his dual is "over-playing". Usually, intuition allows the EIE to regulate precisely the extent and power of emotional pressure and still be plenty persuasive. EIE's emotions overtake and captivate the LSI, and there arises a feeling of emotional unity, an unbroken direct and reverse connection between them. And now the LSI fully trusts his dual and awaits, as if a miracle, a happy turn on his fate: finally, life has brought him together with the person for whom he has been searching and dreaming of meeting one day! Finally, he has found his "other half", and now his life will become happy and complete. Though the most important and difficult still lies ahead: the "Cinderella" needs to be led to the "palace", to his father's house (the hierarchical, matrix system), and "embedded" into the relationships of familiar to him people. One needs to watch how the new branch will take on the familial tree. One needs to arrange for himself and his new wife and future family a comfortable ecological niche, while not offending, angering, or pushing aside any of the "elders", as to not disturb the already existing relations and links in the system.
What helps and saves here is the respect for traditions and for the continuity of system relations in this dyad.
4. Succession and respect for traditions.
The continuity and succession of the system of relations – is a significant value in the dyad LSI-EIE. These TIMs won't try to undermine the roots of the tree that had nurtured them (acting like a "pig under an oak tree" from Aesop's fables) – this is contrary to the evolutionary mission of the dyad. Their task is not to break down the existing matrix, but to continue developing further the work of their ancestors, drawing from the continuity of traditions and knowledge.
The EIE is respectful of the established relationships, ties, and connections in the system, thus he accepts the care of the LSI as his own and tries in every way to fit into the required requirements. He truthfully provides about himself all the necessary information. (In the rational dyads this is acceptable and expected: ugly truth first is better than having to deal with an unexpected exposure later. Of debts, family or external problems and liabilities rationals will talk in the early stages of dating - before relations get to the phase of being serious and responsible. Excuses: "I didn't mean to upset you, thus I didn't tell you about my secret passions" - here do not pass and are considered a betrayal of the interests of the partner. For this reason, for rationals it is difficult to build a relationship with irrationals, who often make decisions and act "at random", "as the road takes them". In rational dyads, loyalty and honesty is valued above all else.) Especially in the dyad LSI-EIE, where the aspect of negative intuition of potential, -Ne ("what if something happens") is a real threat to both partners, it is customary to tell the truth and only the truth about yourself. Deviation from this principle brings profound disappointments that settle as heavy burdens on the heart of both, and leave an indelible mark on their relations that never fades from memory.
In the dyad LSI-EIE it is totally forbidden to lie and tell untruth. In the extreme conditions of existence of the dyad of "obstinate" "carefree" rational types of the second quadra is risky and unacceptable. The LSI, in this respect, is very demanding, thorough, and picky (with his "painful" function of negative intuition of potential). Thus the EIE tries, however she or he is able, to meet and satisfy this requirement, though sometimes he does act at his own risk on the principle of "not caught - not a thief" – if he has lied once, he tries not to get caught on this lie. Therefore, he lies very skillfully whilst trying to redirect all suspicions, as well as any persecutions and blame away from himself (if he was already caught on some offense). In relations with the LSI the EIE initially prefer to be honest – established good relationships he holds dear. And if he does happen to have sinned, he tries to repent in time and at the right moment.
An example:
One charming, middle-aged lady of type EIE, Hamlet, being of a mature age has met at a resort a man who was much younger than her, and they started a marvelous romantic relationship. It so happened that both of them were from the same town, and returning from vacation have continued to meet and to see each other. Their relations have rapidly developed, and after some short period of time this man has asked her to marry him.
She would have been glad to accept, but she felt uncomfortable with their age difference. And although she looked much younger than her years, she still didn't dare to tell him – she was afraid that if he finds out he will stop seeing her. She shared her worries with a friend, and her friend suggested "losing her passport," and promised to replace the lost passport with another document, which will have a more appropriate age for her fiance. No sooner said than done! The future bride obtained a new passport, and on the appointed day and hour they became legally married. And nothing marred the happiness of the newlyweds, until her girlfriend, envying them, decided to blackmail her and demanded a very large sum of money in exchange for keeping silent.
But the bride valiantly withstood the test. From her age she even extracted a benefit: she confessed to her husband about everything – about her true age and about the forgery – confessed, repented, and explained to him how much she was afraid of losing him. She swore that she has no other secrets from him: age was the only thing she hid from him. Promised to only tell the truth in the future. Only after this did he forgive her. But she saw that this forgiveness was not easy for him: for a long time he felt upset by this deception.
In most cases, the EIE tries not to disappoint the LSI (unless it is absolutely necessary), and reports only truthful information about himself or herself, trying not to conceal or distort anything – because he truly understands how important this is for their family now and in the future.
And, of course, the EIE tries to make the most pleasant impression on the LSI. To dispel all the fears and doubts of his dual, to inspire him towards taking such an important and significant step, the EIE strives to be (or appear to be) the way the LSI sees his ideal partner. To guess what this ideal might be, the EIE sometimes want to consult about his observations, to put his imagination and intuition to work, and to find in memory, in his imagination, or in the surrounding reality that image that needs to be re-enacted, in order to enchant, charm, and conquer his partner with it for life. (Whatever the EIE takes up, he or she does it with interest, with a spark, and with imagination. For example, one girl of type EIE wanted to attract a man (who on closer inspection turned out to SLI, Gabin) and all the time brought her girlfriend's child along with her, wanting to demonstrate how strong are the motherly qualities in her. She came to his house with the five years old boy, and created a play by all the rules: played with the kid, dressed and undressed him, fed with a spoon – this was all part of the image of the mother. (She "worked" on the demonstrative emotions, probably unconsciously adjusting to TIM SLI, as her direct emotional influences left him completely indifferent.) She did not marry him (fortunately for her), but she seriously became absorbed by the idea of becoming a mother, taking care of and playing with a baby.
In a dual relationship, the EIE doesn't need to go through any special searches for an acceptable image. All the necessary images already lie within the framework of the system of values of his TIM and his dual dyad. In the absence of any objective obstacles and contraindications, relations develop very easily. This ease pleasantly surprises them both – pleases, delights, motivates, and encourages them. A sensation of flight and intoxicating joy arises – a feeling of dual euphoria – an excess of joy, a surplus of happiness, an excess of energy and generosity, a sense of extraordinary emotional recovery, the high tides of strength and inspiration.
5. LSI-EIE: the social romance.
In the rational dyad LSI-EIE everything is subject to the charter and "charter relations". The responsibility of being the guardian and the keeper of the charter of family lies on the shoulders of husband-LSI. He is responsible for the safety of this cohesive and centralized system of relations. He has to protect his wife from the humiliations and abuses by the "elder" "higher ranking" relatives and family members. Otherwise, the wife EIE will believe him to be a "traitor" – and for a good reason. The times of noble duels with swords and guns are long gone, while from the abuses (by parents) in this dyad no one is immune to this day, with no means of protecting the honor of the family. Realizing himself a "traitor", grasping his own incompetence and inadequacy in the role of the "protector of family's honor", the LSI sometimes eaves his dual wife himself. Just because he cannot constantly feel himself "guilty" and be between "a rock and a hard place". In the second quadra, the "guilty" are themselves to blame for their misfortune. And "declaring" types (unlike "asking") tend to take on their own account their own fault and someone else's faults as well (or pass their own fault and the faults of others to someone else) because fault for them is an indivisible concept (as well as many other concepts).
The LSI, seeing how his family is falling apart by his own his fault, how his relations with his wife, family and friends, become ruined, falls into shock, into stupor, and very painfully goes through everything that's happening, while being unable to help himself or others: the system has collapsed - it's a disaster! - the end of the world!
For both of them, being so dependent on the system of relations, the situation turns out to be irreparable: if there is no system, there are no relations, and no family - there is nothing!
An example:
A young man of TIM LSI, Maxim, while working at a factory has met and dualized with a charming nurse from the factory clinic. Before they got married, she lived in communal housing, and after the wedding, with her husband, moved to the house of his parents (to their three-bedroom flat). His parents (father LSI and mother ESE) have allocated to them the largest room (15 meters). Another room was occupied by her husband's sister (SEE). Thus the five of them lived together in the same flat - three hostesses on a 5-meter kitchen. Altercation took place almost every day. And all to the fault of their young daughter-in-law of type EIE, who was constantly harassed with demands and claims by the other two housewives - both extroverts and sensors - who immediately felt themselves too cramped in this apartment. When the young family had a child, the daughter-in-law was moved to the position of "nanny - maid", ordered around, humiliated, forced out of the scope of her maternal duties and interests. It was always: "Go there ... bring this ... bring that ... Wash him! ... Feed him! ... And hurry up! What are you messing around with?"
Naturally, she could not put up with this situation. By means of her TIM – by her look, voice, intonation, correctly placed accents, she was able to put her mother-in-law and sister-in-law in their place. But, nevertheless, she was upset at her husband's position, who was much too compliant towards his parents and never argued with them (observed subordination), never stood up for his wife – he believed that she herself understands everything, and will be able to find a way stand up for herself and to adapt to new conditions. She understood everything, adapted, found the right tone in her relationship with her new relatives, but her husband seemed to her too conformist and unprincipled – one of those people who try to please everyone, "for yours and for ours". She found it difficult to continue to RESPECT him under such circumstances. While mutual respect in the dyad LSI-EIE – is most important! If there is no respect, there will be no subordination, no system, no hierarchy – no form for the continuity of family traditions.
And one day, during some family celebration (as she re-told later) "something has gotten into her ...", and there wasn't a trace left from that same restraint and deference before her husband ... All of this happened because he, feeling himself guilty, started crouching and fawning before her (the EIE does not tolerate fawning in any shape or form - she hates all kinds of falsehood and lies). Then she humiliated him by word in front of the guests, telling him: "Go away, you shrimp of a man! .. Don't tangle between my feet! .." By age he was younger than her by six months, and this phrase has really hurt him. And he left ... He began to fade out of the house. At first, he didn't leave too far. He took a fishing pole and went to fish in a nearby park. But he caught no fish, but sat there looking at one point on the water and thinking his heavy thoughts. Their common friends would see him in the park, and call her with a warning: "You husband is again sitting in the park, fishing and fishing. You should come, take him back home with you ... otherwise it will be a pity - someone will take and lead away such a man! .."
But she didn't come to pick him up. She knew that she has violated the "family charter": offended and hurt him in front of others, and now the rest did not depend on her. Asking him for forgiveness - meant acknowledging that she is guilt, declaring herself to be "guilty one". In second quadra this is dangerous: all of the sins get written off onto the "guilty" party - and this person will have to answer for his own mistakes and the mistakes of others. Once you have admitted yourself guilty, then you will always be to blame. (Just because one was already to blame last time - so it doesn't matter, one more fault, or one less. Being "guilty" - means becoming the "scapegoat" within the system (and re-building such a system becomes not worth it). He also didn't want to be responsible for the actions of his family members: "children don't answer for their parents" - why should he be the exception? Thus he sat in the park and looked at the water, until another young, pretty, and lonely woman picked him up. She was not his dual, but he was no longer searching for an "ideal companion". He left his wife and child behind in his parents' home, and went to live with his new companion. His EIE wife did nothing to get him back into the family. Because, again, it was "against the rules" and "against the principles." If he has already betrayed the interests of the family, left and became a "traitor", why try to bring the "traitor" back into the family?
They didn't divorce for a long time, and made appearances in common social circles before the divorce, and afterward. He had his own personal life, and she had her own. Neither of them started a second family. One marriage was enough for both, although each of them felt unsettled. Over time, she managed to privatize her room and exchange it for a small flat of her own. She now sees her ex-husband very rarely: he takes an active part in the education of his son and nothing more. She doesn't ask him for anything, because once again it's "against the rules" – if they separated, she has to solve her problems herself. For all the misfortunes she blames only herself, but does not admit it before him ...
6. The danger of relaxation in dyad EIE-LSI: mental aristocratism and vital democratism.
The LSI is an introvert (hierarchical, structural logical type), and towards the hierarchical system of relations and evolutionary continuity of system connections he is extremely respectful. The EIE is deeply persuaded (suggested) by the aspect of "logic of relations", and even though he treats the surrounding system relations more democratically (and only for himself, the eternal hierarchical leader, makes an exception), towards the current existing hierarchical traditions he's very respectful, since he doesn't conceive of relations outside of the hierarchy. (At the vital level, one can play with democracy (-Ti), one may relax and act familiar, as "one of the guys/gals"). But on the mental level, in a formal setting of system relations, when there is a need to keep eyes open and expect betrayal form any side – you need to clearly understand your place in the system and for whom others take you. Although, it's not a sin to appear drunk: it's dangerous to always look sober and alert – in second quadra this arouses suspicion and distrust, the desire to frustrate, to displace and drive away, to take revenge ("When I drink, I don't like those who keep sober.")
The second quadra values holidays and pleasures, and appreciates the moments of enjoyment and relaxation (which happen rarely, as they don't quite fit into the program of the dyad and of the quadra). Trying to not lose control of the situation and of oneself, very little relaxation takes place here. But when they have fun – they do it from all their heart. Therefore, democracy (and the desire to be with all on familiar terms, to love all and interact with everyone on equal terms, be moved to tears, and kiss each and every person in merry relaxation) manifests here (mostly) only on the vital level (unless it's a part of some dining ritual).
The reflection of these properties we find in the TIM models: the mental block of representatives of "aristocratic" quadra contains "aristocratic" information aspects (of the aspects that dominate in the "aristocratic" quadras: rational aspects with a "plus" sign and irrational aspects with a "minus" sign), and vital block contains the "democratic" aspects (aspects that are dominant in the "democratic" quadras: irrational aspects with a "plus" sign and rational aspects with a "minus" sign). Hence the vital block "democracy" on logic of relations in the EIE – to play and fool around, to act weirdly, to get mischievous (while remaining "himself") the EIE can only do in easy and relaxed atmosphere, in a state of mild, intoxicating fun, particularly in a state of relaxation on the vital level. And on the mental level the EIE immediately becomes serious, requires adherence to etiquette, decorum, distance, and subordination – immediately ceases to recognize yesterday's "friends for one fun evening". (A parody on this quality of "aristocratic" types in general (and EIE in particular) was reflected in one of great Charlie Chaplin's films "City Lights" – in the episode, when the Tramp befriends an alcoholic millionaire. During those periods when the millionaire was drunk, he sincerely rejoiced in the company of the Tramp, was friendly towards him, bestowed expensive gifts on him. The millionaire only had to sober up (in the morning), when he immediately ceased to recognize his "friend" the Tramp: he took away his food, expensive clothes, gifts and expelled from the house to the street. At night, he got drunk and again went looking for the Tramp all over the city, as only for him the millionaire felt boundless confidence.) The concept of vital level "democracy" of "aristocrats" fits quite accurately into this movie plot. Vital level "aristocracy" of "democrats" is the reverse phenomenon: once they relax and lose control over their behavior, they immediately become presumptuous, arrogant snobs, of the cheapest manners: can easily become nasty, rude, insulting, and offending. Towards those senior in position, age, rank they refer haughtily and talk down to them.) In mixed groups where both "aristocrats" and "democrats" interact over formal and informal settings, they try to straighten out and revise each other, and put up reciprocal claims for each awkward word or step, eventually coming to a common conclusion: that they need to drink less under any circumstances and control their behavior.
The same goes for the dual dyads. Fearing potential trouble, partners remind each other of the need to keep their behavior in check.
Once dualized, the partners of "aristocratic" dyads overall (in most cases) interact on the vital level, so each one has to recognize his partner as an equal. More precisely, - worthy of himself. And so each must recognize the superiority and primacy of the other in something. But only in something singular: that is, this superiority should be limited to what constitutes the special "sphere of success" of the partner - the main thing is that there has to be something for which he or she can be respected. And this depends on the level of his self-esteem, the ability to present himself, and his level of self-respect. In this dyad, mutual respect is ensured by a fairly high level of development of rational aspects that in quadras of "aristocrats" always have a "+" sign (+Ti, +Te, +Fi, +Fe) and depend on one's ability to see logical and ethical benefits, on the sense of self-worth and dignity, on pride for one's family and partner, for team or alliance – in "aristocratic" quadra this is extremely important.
If one of the partners ceases to respect himself, begins to degrade, or lower himself, for the partner this is the worst symptom – a foreboding sense of disaster arises – the feeling that the family is crumbling, the whole world is coming apart, and everything is falling into the abyss. This is felt especially acutely by female EIEs when their LSI husbands permit too much to themselves. The LSI as a static, as the logical and sensing backbone of this dyad, as the carrier of its basic elements, has no right to "relax" over the top even in the company of "friends". Which, nevertheless, happens quite often, when Maxim feels himself sort of like a "small king" to whom "everything is allowed", including in respect to his EIE partner, and behaves on the principle of "What is allowed to Jupiter is not permitted to a bull" ("I can do whatever I want - I'm head of the family - while you are no one, a nobody. And you have no right to teach me.")
Such complications can be caused by poorly developed relationships of subordination, and some kind of deep disappointments of EIE partner, her perpetual dissatisfaction, irritation, nagging, reproaches. Indeed, here is an example:
Her - Hamlet. Him - Maxim. Both in early forties. Talking with a family counselor.
"Her: We got married at an early age. We met when he returned from the army. We would see each other, take walks around the city. It was so good together! It was fantastic! Then we got married and move in to live with my mom. The first years, I think, everything was well ... Children were born. More worries were added ... We had less leisure time ... I don't know may be it wasn't as interesting for him with me, but he started leaving and spending time in a company of friends more and more often. He returned late and tipsy. And this started happening almost every night. On weekdays and on weekends. He ceased to pay attention to the family ... I didn't like this. And besides, I was afraid that he will turn into an alcoholic ...
He: How am I going to turn into an alcoholic? I works as a driver, I'm always behind the wheel. All that we drank was a little - a little! .. (shows)
She: This is exactly what I was afraid of! We began to quarrel! I asked him to stay with me at home. But he didn't listen, and left again. And I couldn't influence him. I don't know why he left! We had a nice family! No one bothered us, I was a good housewife ...
He said: Your mother has always bothered us! .. She would try to direct you! ... And you were never a good housekeeper. And never learned to cook.
She: I have learned how to cook and cook well! And my mother didn't interfere with us ... The reason is in him. He went out every night, and I couldn't do anything about it. Then I decided to take an extreme measure, even if for me it was very difficult. I decided to part with him. I took the children and moved out. But soon he started visting us, first he came to see the children, then me. He said that he cannot live without me. I also realized that I cannot be without him, but didn't dare to move in back together. Then we agreed to meet as lovers. He would visit me as if we were seeing each other anew again. He was so clean, well-groomed, and handsome! Brought me flowers and gifts. It was very romantic! It was the best time! But the role of the wife - mistress I didn't like: the children are growing up, they will start to ask questions ... And before other people it's awkward - is he my husband or is he not my husband? And I thought, if everything is so well between us again, why not live together again? Maybe now things will change for the better? We agreed and moved in back together, but the same has started. He again began to leave in the evening, and to drink ... Everything repeated! And I don't know what to do! .. Maybe it was better to not get back together? "..
The female EIE often allows for disciplinary over-pressing, especially when she is alarmed by a dangerous trend. (Drinking is not a joking matter. Where there's alcohol - there are other women, there is betrayal, and destruction of the family, of the fates and lives for generations to come.) And now a new "area of ​​concern and mistrust" develops. And gives rise to incessant criticism, accusations, judging remarks, condemning discussions of the behavior of her husband. And condemnation of actions in "subjectivist" quadras – is process humiliating and painful – for the person being discussed. And even more so – for the head of the family, who, of course, wants to be above criticism and tries to be independent of the opinions of his wife and his mother-in-law. But he cannot discount the opinion of his friends, and insists on being the authority in the family, periodically trying to show his wife and her mother "who's in charge here."
There problem is due to confusion in hierarchical relations: careless slackers and negligent wimps in this dyad are not obeyed. The person who becomes hostage to their addictions – becomes dependent on his or her circumstances, in which relaxation leads to vital level "democracy" and becomes the norm (today he is drinking with who knows whom, tomorrow he is fraternizing with the first stranger he meets and bringing him home). Thus, he's no longer considered to be the hierarch and the leader – he "falls out" of the mental level of "aristocratic" relations: he has no authority, there is nothing for which he can be respected.
And, of course, of great importance is the notion of "family honor", social mission and top objectives of the family, which are the cornerstones in this dyad, of which periodically there need be reminders. If there is no idea, there will be no understanding of the over-goal, which both duals are realizing in their union, for which they join as a family – and the system will inevitably start to disintegrate and "decay". Moreover, the weak link here will be exactly the conformist and easily amenable to another's influence Maxim. (That very same "Jupiter": this ambitious and domineering "fool", who is too uncritical and undemanding toward himself.) His mental "supportive core", his position of "maximum force - is a minimum of weakness" in these circumstances loses its relevance: he will simply forget about it (why be strong, organized, and disciplined when it's so great to be loosened and weak, and make one concession after another to oneself and one's whims?).
Not receiving from the EIE the desired spiritual and energy output, not getting enough "suggestion" on the aspect of ethics of emotions, Fe (and not the ethics of relations, Fi), the LSI first starts to degrade himself, then pulls his family down to the bottom. (A typical variation of this development: first husband LSI starts to drink himself, then makes his wife EIE drink with him, turning her into a complete alcoholic and disregarding her weak sensing functions – and then, when she is sick, weakened, and degraded, he kicks her out of the house ...). So, the fears of EIE women here are not in vain: there is sufficient ground for worries: in the system of relations of LSI-EIE the prime candidate for elimination is the one who is replaceable (or easier to replace). From this come the pervasive fears of betrayal, distrust towards the partner, as well as tests for endurance: "I beat him, but he doesn't leave - he tolerates me for who I am. This means that he is a trustworthy partner who can be relied upon." From this, too, comes trust by blood and kinship ties. But again, only towards those people who are not marred by potential for revenge. Brother and sister kinship, the LSI and the EIE, for example, may not trust. Struggling from an early age for a place in the system, often enough both manage to spoil relations with their siblings, by trying to force them out of the sphere of parental care, to push and throw them out of the family nest, such that they may be wary of their revenge for life.
7. Extreme – an effective measure and good method for preventing relaxation.
Rigor, discipline, strict division of responsibilities only strengthen relations in this dyad. And things go especially well when it is the LSI who is responsible for disciplinary action. Take, for example, this not very young, but happy dual pair: he - LSI, her - EIE, living together for more than 10 years. This couple is unusual by the fact that his EIE partner (a journalist by profession) from birth doesn't have both legs. And yet - she is an exceptionally active and hardworking woman. Her energy is inexhaustible. And she finds application for herself both at home and at work. She doesn't try to escape her duties, doesn't make excuses, indulgences, and exceptions for herself. They are raising two children. (Whom she herself managed to give birth to, even though it was extremely difficult and not advised by the doctors.) Nevertheless she did it, and is happy that she succeeded. (In the dyad EIE-LSI there is always a place for a feat). She doesn't feel any physical inferiority, but carries on cheerfully and confidently (even a little boldly and daringly, which is typical for extroverted "obstinate" "aristocratic" types). Her attitude is optimistic. She firmly believes that her family happiness she owes entirely to her LSI husband: "He wouldn't let me go limp, but kept me in his "iron fist" and rightly so ..."
8. Activation on the aspect of "intuition of time" (Ni).
For his end, the EIE also disciplines the LSI: influencing him over EIE's "realizing" aspect - "intuition of time", cultivating in the LSI the qualities of stamina, patience, endurance, readiness for self-sacrifice and for overcoming of the difficulties, making the LSI hope and dream for the best, instilling into him faith in "a bright future, forcing him to consider and analyze his experience of past mistakes and mishaps.
The aspect of "intuition of time" for the LSI is in the evaluating, activation function (+Ni). Within the interpretation of "declaring" TIM model (a model with close spatial-temporal connections), the aspect of "intuition of time" comes to the first place, becomes a priority, gains particular relevance and importance. Keeping the LSI with the power of his emotional impact, "on the crest of the wave of emotions", creating an illusion of easy accessibility and feasibility of difficult and fantastic goals, the EIE manages to inspire the LSI and direct him to realization of remote and hard to reach the goals, that, with EIE's delivery, with his deep emotional conviction and thorough belief in the correctness of his words, with his ability to persuade, inspire and mobilize, seem quite realistic and achievable. From this comes the blinding effect, brought about by EIE's mystifications and forecasts that are so persuasive for the LSI: whichever way you look at the task, it seems feasible and easily accessible, and the goals - close and appealing. While the requirements are very few: simply go along the exactly specified (political, ideological) path, without changing direction, calmly and methodically, confidently, being sure of success, with willpower and determination of the spirit overcome all difficulties and obstacles that inevitably will be along this road; don't be afraid of difficulties and be ready for new tests and obstacles – that's all it takes!
Becoming inspired by ideas and forecasts of the EIE, the LSI can all his life look into the future "with the sense of great satisfaction", regardless of the results that he will be presented with. His readiness to be patient is totally unlimited (in which few TIMs can compare). Maxim endures and hopes even when all his ideals seem to be breaking down. The main thing – is that the "idea" is alive – without it life is truly meaningless.
And in this, he is fully supported by the EIE, who sets a personal example of even greater conviction. Otherwise, it cannot be: a disappointed LSI at once becomes lethargic, apathetic, and inert – try and make him get up then! (The aspect of "intuition of time" is located in his "inert", "child" block of SUPERID). Thus the LSI is very slow to get involved and inspired by anything, and takes a long time to get hyped up – unless he is captivated and "taken along" by some vivid and emotional idea – then, later, at the end of the "mission", he likewise takes a long time to "cool down" from the enamoring idea, even if the idea has already discredited itself.
And since it is necessary to nourish any idea, the forecasts made by the EIE need a speedy confirmation, the goals and objectives - immediate practical embodiment, in a bid to achieve at least something, some positive result, as soon as possible. Even if experience was formulated and provided incorrectly, it can all can be attributed to inadequacies and mistakes in technical implementation. The main thing is that the technical conditions (technical mode of operation of a new social model, or technical mode of a new social experiment) does not go beyond the norms. (For the EIE the aspect of the "logic of actions" Te is a normative function - thus he keeps track of technical standards. (And even when he places a bet on excessive endurance or excessive power in his trials and experiments (including psychological ones)).
In case of unfulfilled predictions, the EIE has someone who is "guilty", and if not, then he'll be found. However, this applies to more global, political issues, and not to private and family life where it's quite possible to rely on Hamlet. The EIE him/herself has a very responsible attitude towards duties, and tries not to let down and disappoint his partner.
The LSI and the EIE - if they're already a dualized, tested by time family - always seem welded at the seams. Supportive spouses and loving parents. And the harmonious education of children is given attention here. But unlike the first quadra, here the education is done not so much for a well-rounded, all-sided development of the child, but for his or her successful social and professional fulfillment in the future. These parents want to be sure in advance that their children will claim a worthy place in the society. This couple often tries to determine the professional orientation of their children from an early age. (The LSI especially pays attention to this. His problematic "intuition of possibilities" doesn't let him rest from the first minute his child is born – he needs to definitely know whom his son or daughter will become.) And in general, for the dyad of LSI and EIE (both "rational", "evolutionary", "obstinate", "decisive" "subjectivists", (systematists) "aristocrats") commitment to excellence, self-improvement, overcoming of difficulties, and on-going self-work, are all characteristic.
9. EIE-LSI: a rational approach.
In dyad LSI-EIE, as in any rational dyad, the system of attitudes, beliefs, values, and viewpoints is coordinated first.
Here, same as in the rational dyad of the first quadra, there are principles of "logical and ethical justice". But unlike the dyad LII-ESE, these principles have a hierarchical quality: the higher the social status, the greater the obligations are imposed on the person and the stricter the ethical standards to which he or she is held. Although, of course, at the highest hierarchies there may be certain privileges ("in the interests of the system").
Outside of status, relations in this dyad do not exist, since here the role of ethical canons is taken by the aspect of "logic of relations" - "the logic of systems and structures". Therefore, all ethics is constructed in the framework of relations within a structure.
(Even during a brief telephone conversation, a representative of this dyad (especially EIE) will certainly indicate his status or social standing: "You're talking your husband's colleague" or "the classmate of your son" – this is the first thing that will be said. If a person doesn't provide such information, the first thing that he'll be asked is who he is, his relations to others, and only then he will be spoken with. Orientation towards formal markers and traits – is an inherent property of this dyad, as well as all of the dyads of the first and second quadra ("subjectivists"). In this dyad - the dyad of "rational", "aristocratic" "subjectivists" - while introducing yourself, it is also accepted (and considered mandatory) without unnecessary delays (to not take away extra time) not only to declare your belonging to some common social system, but also to indicate your status and your place within it.
Both the LSI and the EIE feel themselves as an integral part of the surrounding natural environment and analyze relations within it according to a hierarchical system of coordinates. They are always interested in the structural relations within their environment, and the position that they occupy in the structure. Therefore, ethical evaluations of the behavior of each person here are made within the framework of the structure, further considering such angels of system behavior in ethical relations as: respect and contempt, honor and shame, honor and dishonor. (If a person has moved up the steps of the hierarchy - respect and congratulations to him; if he lowered himself - shame. In such a society there must always be "boards of excellence" and "windows of shame" ...)
Ethical attitudes here are also considered in logical interpretation, as intra-structural. From the point of view of a concise and clear set of rules of "subjectivists":
1). Outside of striving upwards there are no relations in the hierarchical system.
2). Outside of the displacement from the system there are no interactions with the environment, which itself, to the best of its possibilities and scope, is a closed, isolated system, with limited number of positions or places. (Especially of the environmentally advantageous positions, the most convenient and favorable eco-niches, the most profitable and privileged spots, that provide for the most comfortable conditions for the existence, which, because of the limited territorial, resource, and economic opportunities – may not be equally accessible to all). This principle is simple and understandable for everyone, and clearly perceptible on a purely physical, material level. (In accordance with the natural laws of the interaction of the material object to the environment (by known to all Archimedes' principle): the material object enters into an environment and displaces a portion of the medium, pushing it away, from the central positions to the peripheral, and from there – outside of the boundaries of the system.)
"Subjectivists" (and even more so - "aristocrats") cannot conceive of their interactions with their environment in any different light. Since any other types of interactions, besides the system and hierarchical ones, don't fit into their views and ideas, dictated by the information models and parameters of their TIMs.
Thus,
1). Anyone who stops fighting for a place in the system, sooner or later ends up being pushed out of it. (The displacement occurs consciously, if the person is surrounded by "subjectivists", and unconsciously (due to circumstances) if the person is surrounded by "objectivists", who "do not believe" in intentional displacement and don't come into active awareness of the meaning and effect of their actions, even when they directly displace someone out of their ranks – "objectivists" will find various explanation for such actions ("in the interests of the project" or "for healthier psychological climate"), but they won't directly recognize it as a displacement from the system or team, since with them this happens unconsciously (due to the traits of "objectivism": the dominant aspects of "ethics of relations" Fi and "business logic" Te).
2). Anyone who stops fighting for the dominant position in the system of relations and allows himself to either remain in the same position, or to get moved to the lower strata of the hierarchy, ends up in the most unfavorable conditions of existence, in the most humiliating and dangerous to himself (and his close ones) positions. "He who doesn't seek the climb to the top, falls down to the bottom," analogously to "he who doesn't grow and doesn't work on himself - degrades". Standing in one spot, absence of career development and progress (lack of the desire "to grow", "to become promoted, "to climb the occupational ladder") is the first sign of degradation. In Beta Quadra – the quadra of system "aristocrats" – absence of the desire to make a career is incomprehensible and unnatural. ("If you don't want to build a career, why have you even joined the department? You should have gone and become a free artist, or chosen another profession that is independent of system constraints ... If you aren't interested in climbing up the professional ladder, give place to those who are interested!")
3). He who puts up with disrespect, who has stopped fighting for respectful attitude towards him or herself, out of observance of the interests of the system, is also forced out. (If a person doesn't care how he or she is treated, let those who are not indifferent receive and enjoy the greatest respect. Since (in their view) it's not possible to bow down before everyone and please everyone to the same extent. (What kind of hierarchy would this be if everyone indiscriminately bowed down before each other? - In such circumstances, the system priorities won't be clearly marked and identified. The system of hierarchical coordinates and preferences won't appear to be indistinct - it will be vague and blurred: it won't be clear who should be honored, and who - disrespected.)
Accordingly, in the hierarchical system of the second quadra, the one who demands the most respect – enjoys the highest honors. (According to the principle "what he has asked for - he has received; since he asked for nothing - he received nothing".) Those who are undemanding don't survive in this system. Yet, no one forbids anyone else to ask for respect for themselves. Though, of course, a "list of prices" ("table of ranks") exists (as a system of coordinates): respect for seniority, for years of service and work experience, according to the merits and achievements, as belonging to the elite ranks, by the presence of prestigious formal markers (in one's resume), to varying degrees are used and enjoyed by all members of the community. But even the person, who as of yet has no merits and ranks, but is quite clearly aware of his affiliation to the system, and in spite of everything desperately struggles and fights for a priority position, even if he angers others with his audacity, his very understanding of the benefits of system relations (his desire to exist in the given system, to gain a foothold in it, as in a hierarchical, elite community) is in itself worthy of respect. Others say about him: "He will go far," - and rarely they are mistaken.
The LSI and the EIE orient themselves at ambitious goals and objectives, regardless of whether someone likes their far-reaching plans, or not. Here start the biggest concerns for this dyad. Both the LSI and the EIE always become very worried if, for no obvious and understandable reasons, they are shown disrespect. Moreover, they view and approach this issue not from an ethical standpoint, but from a logical one (in accordance with the system of values ​​and ideas of their dyad).
For example, to the LSI this may even be the grounds for a divorce. (One of the representatives of this TIM complained about her husband: "He showed me a lack of respect - he exchanged his apartment as his mother wanted to, and not how I insisted. This means he doesn't respect me. And I won't have this!" And all attempts to convince her that there were no traces of "disrespect" here have led to nothing ... because in a logical, hierarchical, systemic scheme of things disrespect was indeed present: she got an impression (with all grounds to it) that she was lowered in her status. Further relations with her husband under such conditions did not seem promising to her. (And if his mother next desires to "sign her out" out of the flat and leave her without registration and without a roof over her head? Such cases are not uncommon ...)
10. Search for a place in the system.
Every "aristocrat" (representative of "aristocratic" quadra) must be sure that his status is higher than the status of his actual or potential competitor in the system of relations (logical, systematic - for Beta quadra; and ethical, business - for members of Delta quadra).
The LSI doesn't need to find out anything special to adequately orient within the system – he only needs to check the facts (although they aren't always available). Therefore, for the LSI it is extremely important to receive only truthful information about everything (and preferably from primary sources), for which he arranges a direct examination and questioning session (often tries to "knock out" the necessary information).
Hamlet, too, is not averse to questioning and examinations. Questions (often inappropriate ones) he formulates very clearly and poses them mercilessly in a hard and firm tone (with metallic intonations in his voice). During this, he relentlessly stares the person in the eyes. Sometimes, it is enough for Hamlet to turn over some intrigue to understand who or what, and to which extent, poses a threat to his status and authority. (A sample case: A young journalist came to a book fair. In the lobby hall, she by chance met a friend - an old publisher - and entered the exhibition hall holding him by his arm. When she took a couple steps away from him, she was approached by two unknown ladies who asked her to go into an office. In the room, at the desk, sat a stern-looking woman (of TIM EIE), who right there and then, in the presence of a few other women who stood behind her, started to rigorously question the young journalist. The questions were: "What ties you to this person? What is your relationship with him? Did you know that he's married and has children? Then why have you entered the hall holding his arm? Are you telling me the truth?" All the questions were asked in the best tradition of Hamlet - with a harsh tone, hammering style, with metallic notes in her voice, under a watchful and stern look. The young girl was so confused that she has even forgotten to ask by what right she was being questioned. When she was finally released, she was so happy that she didn't even try to find out who questioned her, by what authority, and for what purpose (and who were all these people present in the room?).
Hamlet feels an enemy or potential competitor a mile away. And setting up a questioning session for the suspect for him is a piece of cake (a pleasant pastime to see before him someone's frightened eyes). The main thing is for the EIE to be certain in his own right to "catch" and question whoever he wants, without a trace of embarrassment, not having any sanctions or powers for it, referring only to his own opinion that "this is necessary." And if "this is necessary" it means that he "has the right".
The LSI respects this quality in the EIE. He himself is not averse to usurp another's authority "for the good of the cause": he believes that a person has the right to use the opportunities given to him that he has conferred to himself with the tacit consent of the others. (In the dyad of "obstinate" "decisive" types LSI and EIE, audacity, boldness is not considered to be a flaw or a shortcoming (if it is accepted, tolerated, forgiven, or "not noticed" by others). The main thing – is to not be caught and found guilty of abuse of power. And if not a single person among those present objects, why not dare and try? – bravery takes on cities. In Beta Quadra nobody provides benign conditions of existence for anyone else: each person has to press on and achieve for him or herself. Passivity, compliance, lack of ambition annoys "obstinate" Beta types: the one who's too afraid for a daring act, who stands in one spot in hesitation, who lets the chance to exercise informal leadership slip by – remains a "slave", a subservient figure* whom everyone displaces and pushes away.)
[note: See Stratiyevskaya's Beta Quadra Complex of Subservience.]
Next to his dual the LSI feels himself protected. He admires EIE's insightfulness, strictness and rigor, and his directness: the EIE can take anyone by surprise, interview and question everyone in full - a mouse won't get by him, a bird won't fly by unnoticed - he sees and anticipates everyone from afar.
11. Testing the strength of relations. (Not without an intrigue.)
With greater confidence in his rights, the EIE obtains the information he needs with the help of an intrigue. And, of course, he most successfully intrigues when he's playing "on a home field", according to his own rules, among his own people, anticipating and predicting their every move.
And example:
A young man of type EIE and a girl of type LSI were seeing each other. Everything was wonderful, as long as their relationship was kept in secret: they dualized quietly and happily. But as soon as it became known to others, they started having problems with the girl's mother, who was also from the second quadra, also of TIM EIE, and did not want to concede her daughter "without a fight". She decided to "test her abilities" against her future son-in-law, and at the same time find out whom her daughter loves more, who's more important, whose word means more to her. Thus the mother began to impose on her daughter her own candidate for a grooms - a man who was unattractive to her daughter and not loved by her (and even psychologically incompatible, of TIM ILE). However, all of these details didn't particularly worry the mother. The main thing was to offer her LSI daughter an alternative and insist on her own opinion. In essence, this wasn't even an attempt to matchmake, but a kind of a "test" for the young couple, for their endurance, ingenuity, and ability to withstand hardships, and, alongside, a test for the obedience of her daughter, and verification of the fighting qualities of the potential son-in-law - a sort of a "tug-of-war" and at the same time a "challenge to a fight". At first the girl didn't take the new candidate for grooms seriously: it looked too much like a set-up - he arrived, had lunch, ate dinner, conversed with her mother. They didn't go out anywhere together, but when her EIE suitor learned about the second candidate he grew worried: he didn't want to concede his LSI girl to anyone else. Unfortunately, he couldn't offer her much: he didn't have his own place to live but rented a room at a friend's place, his earnings were modest, it was unlikely that he could pay for her studies at a university. Nevertheless, he decided to kidnap his girl (in the best traditions of the romantic genre) and formalize his relationship with her in another city: the world is small, and he didn't want to risk meeting her mother - direct disobedience to the will of the parent was also out of the question. In this dyad, the will of the parents is respected, but loyalty to the mutual agreements are honored above all. They "broke down" at the airport before boarding the plane: both were not at ease. The girl was afraid of how she's going to come back home and what will she tell her mother? She decided to call home and put her mother "before the fact": to announce that she is flying to another city and marrying the man whom he loves. It was important for her to obtain her mother's consent and approval. Her mother, while taking her call, with a metallic voice and harsh tone demanded that the daughter returns home immediately, unless she wants to lose her mother forever. The girl's legs became like paper, such that she couldn't move or even take a step anywhere. The guy asked her to make an effort and get on the plane, but she could not. So the plane departed without them. When she returned home, her mother, in every sense of the word, took her captive: took away her money, passport, and even clothes. She locked her daughter in the bedroom, tied her to a bed, and tortured her for several weeks, trying to "knock" the rebellion out of her: tortured, interrogated, starved ("tested her feelings for strength"). She went to her daughter's university and asked for sick leave on her behalf for an indefinite period of time. Every day the EIE guy called, but his LSI girl wouldn't be allowed to pick up the phone, thus he didn't know what to think. He realized that there was nothing to hope for, and regretted allowing her to return home. A month later, the girl's mother told him that her daughter has agreed to marry another man (although this wasn't true), and that he shouldn't bother her any longer. The EIE guy was so deeply shaken by this message that he didn't want to hear any other arguments. He was told by others that this is a typical, classic form of intrigue, when lovers are being separated and completely isolated from each other, and each is told slanderous things about the other, after which, even if they meet again, they don't trust or believe each other (classic Walter Scott, "The Bride of Lammermoor"). So it happened here: after hearing about the engagement the EIE guy stopped calling, and by this he gave himself out. The mother realized that her ruse worked: the boy believed the untruth and stopped calling. To celebrate, she told of this to her daughter, hoping that now she will reject him: "See how easily he betrayed you! And you didn't believe that he is capable of it! And now he doesn't trust you. And he's never going to believe you, so you're being stubborn for nothing! " - she said triumphantly, and promised to release her daughter out of the house if she agrees to marry the other candidate. The girl hastily agreed to all her mother's terms, so that she would get an opportunity to meet with the EIE guy again and speak to him.
She got this opportunity but she did not succeed in explaining herself. He continued to regard her as a traitor: even if she said what she said to gain back her freedom, he still considered that she betrayed him: because now she's obliged to fulfill her promises. If she doesn't fulfill what she has promised, this makes her a liar. And a person once capable of deception, is capable of it again.
The girl began to tell him about how she was kept locked up, beaten, tortured, starved ... but he didn't even hear her out. He declared that he "does not forgive betrayal", demonstratively turned and walked away from her. He would later tell to his friends, "She told me how she was beaten, tortured ... I would have endured through everything and not rejected her. And she is - a traitor! Now I don't want to know her!"
And yet, he has rejected her - even though he wasn't touched by a finger but only outsmarted, but this was enough for him to turn away. Now that the girl's mother considered that she has won this match, she wasn't watching her daughter so closely, and he could have quietly and without a twinge of conscience (after all that's happened) take her away and marry her. But he, nevertheless, didn't try take her away the second time (first attempt was enough for him), and instead chose to adhere to his previous opinion: the one who was able to cheat once, will do so the second, and the third times ... (likely, this was a way for him to leave this situation with a moral advantage: it is possible that he has decided that he cannot provide for his girl the quality of life to which she was accustomed. It was more convenient for him to formally consider her a "traitor": after she has already "broken down" once and went into "captivity", he believed that he couldn't trust her any longer. He also blamed her for the haste with which she returned home: "She didn't listen to me, but ran back to comfort her mom, even though I warned her and tried to dissuade her!" ... He also realized that now, even if they do get married, his mother-in-law will always stand between them. And always try to impede him. And eventually they will be successfully separated ... For some time he kept thinking, doubting, sifting through different options, but then he broke it all off.
12. Difficulty bring in a minority.
For the EIE it is difficult to be left in a minority, alone (even in "proud isolation") - this is always a tragedy for him or her. Loss of loved ones, loss of friends, transfers "to another camp", to another (perhaps rival) system of relations, the EIE always takes to extremely painfully: views such people as "traitors," "turncoats," "weaklings", who didn't survive the trials and tribulations to which he has subjected them, and instead chose to "change sides". He blames himself in the least, believing that he had all the grounds and the rights to inspect, to test, to intrigue, to pry and interrogate, to identifying and make evident any hidden but very important information (to not destroy a system of some very important for him relations, that have already been established and that the EIE holds dear).
To an insecure and unsettled duality (relations of questionable loyalty and strength) the EIE, like any rational type, prefers the certainty of loneliness, as a relation with a clear-cut and controlled by him system of coordinates, in which he sets goals for himself and accomplishes them himself, where he checks in with no one else and is not accountable before anyone else. Loneliness – as a guarantee of a full, unrestricted freedom of successful self-realization, successful intellectual and spiritual creativity, is preferable for the EIE. Especially if his relationship with a dual partner is laced with doubts, disbeliefs, insincerity, absence of confidence in the future and in the strength and reliability of the relationship.
For EIE it is very difficult to forgive infidelity, "treason", and everything else that comes with this. Sometimes, there is no actual betrayal, but some talk and premonitions of it, and this is already enough – Hamlet makes a sentence and then puts it into effect. There's nothing else to do here - it's the honor of the family after all!
The following has happened to one very united dual pair. (He - Maxim, her - Hamlet). They got married while they were students. Their family life began in difficult circumstances - they lived in the same room with her mother (SEI, Dumas), slept behind a screen that separated rooms - things were hard for them. But they were a promising young family. Her LSI husband was a well-respected expert with many prospects. The future didn't frighten them. And the present didn't frighten them either, though there were some problems. His mother-in-law (SEI, Dumas) brutally "audited/supervised" her own daughter: she thought her daughter won't get married at all, assumed that he would remain an old maid and will take care of her mother until the end of her days; found fault with her daughter at every turn, blamed her all the time, set up scandals, and complained about her over every little thing to her son-in-law (her daughter's husband). On the young man (who was "beneficiary" to his mother-in-law) this had an oppressive effect. Then, a new complexity came up: so it happened that their mutual friends and colleagues started hunting after the promising young husband. She paid visits to them, would try to catch him alone at the entrance to the shop. After some time, the young EIE wife began receiving news of the supposed victories of this persistent and brazen person (which were likely started and seeded by this woman). Her husband tried to explain the situation to his wife. He referred to the vile innuendos and speculations, to which he had no relations. But his wife considered herself obliged to respond to the "signal". She gathered his things in a bundle and in a spectacular gesture threw them out of the apartment: other people need to see how the "traitors" get punished. (She had no doubts in that her husband has betrayed her, believing that people won't say such things from nothing: "There is no smoke without fire.") This is how her guilty husband was left without guilt and without a roof over her head ...
Here, he was picked up by the pushy and tenacious "separator" (SEE, Caesar), who has set this "trap" for the gullible young couple, thought it out very well, and organized it ... Her living conditions were very good, and after a while she started cohabiting with the "homeless newlywed", after which he divorced his lawful wife and married his new "patron". Although he has made attempts to return back to his first wife, but all the answer was the same: "Get out of here and leave me, traitor!" And the "traitor" would return to his new wife. He has lived with the new family for over 30 years and fathered two children, and then the second wife finally loosened her grip, while his first wife, now wiser and worn out by loneliness, finally forgave him. He divorced his second wife and married the first wife again. He lived with her for several years in a happy marriage and one hot summer of 1999 suddenly passed away from a heart attack.
(It was painful and hard to see how at the funeral his widow was asking him for forgiveness for these failed 30 years of life, out of which she, from her foolish pride and suspicions, has deprived both him and herself.)
Dignity, honor, reputation of family – these are sacred notions in this dyad, but, as with any married couple, the most important thing here – is mutual trust. In a dual dyad trust gets established quickly, but the worse it is to lose.
13. Complicated relations to loneliness.
The "program" aspect of ethics of emotions of Hamlet (+Fe) – that is "evolutionary", "extroverted", "subjectivist" (system), "negativistic" (pessimistic), "strategic" – is difficult to realize in loneliness. On this aspect, it is difficult for EIE to set and realize his goals and targets, existing outside of an idea, outside of ideology (with which he could captivate someone), outside of sense of leadership and consolidation of forces, outside of a social system, outside of the dynamics of rapidly flowing events (outside of an ideological, political, class, social, or other type of struggle).
But as a "questim", a person of TIM EIE gravitates towards separating him/herself from the outside world and erecting barriers between him/herself and others. In this respect, appreciates and values own privacy as providing freedom to think, freedom to create, to be self-sufficient, to rely for everything on himself, to construct independent and unbiased opinions, from time to time to rest from an exhausting and disorienting interactions, and focus on intellectual and spiritual creative work. For this, again, the EIE needs a system of existing knowledge, experience, continuity of tradition, good (academic) school, highly professional teachers and counselors, a friendly creative environment, confidence (or at least hope) in that his work will be in demand, a sufficiently interesting idea, theme, or topic that would be relevant and valued at all times.
EIE has a complex relationship with him/herself, and with own creativity, and with the surrounding world, and his/her place in it. Finding much needed and desired knowledge which could provide the EIE with answers to everything, or at least to many of his/her questions, is very difficult. The search for it is conducted by emotional and intuitive means, by a sense of belonging to something important and significant, which often leads to (rather chaotic) change of interests and hobbies. Finding his/her calling, purpose, place and meaning in life for Hamlet (EIE) – is the question of all questions. Not finding an answer, leads the EIE to spiritually and intellectually degrade and suffer both mentally and physically. To him it seems that he's melting like candle, extinguishing, losing his energy, incentives, and vitality: if he can find nothing to captivate and interest himself, then how can he inspire others? For what, by whom, and how is he loved? Not being able to attract the attention of others with love, respect, with something positive, the EIE finds another way: to draw attention by anything unusual, that is easy and accessible, in demand and of interest to everyone, something that attracts and fascinates: an extravagant eccentricity, that often frightens and intimidates by its antisocial cruelty, despotism, nihilism, rebelliousness, and its emotional and volitional arbitrariness. It some sense this can be interpreted as a distress signal of a person who is "lost in darkness" of his/her perceptions of the surrounding reality.
The EIE sees positivism in a system of relations only in conjunction with a strictly hierarchically defined system of relations, that is based on force and organized through it strict internal and external discipline. The positive, life-affirming system of social coordinates of the LSI, his tough, strong-willed and optimistic socialization of the surrounding reality delivers the EIE from his/her oppressed and depressed state.
And if it doesn't deliver and lift the EIE, this means that the LSI will find himself in this dark captivity. In this dyad, partners characteristically "knock" each other out of "dark hibernation", from lowered vitality and tone of life, from the "negatives", from suppressed "twilight" state of mind and soul – "like cures like"! The main thing is not to allow force and energy to stagnate!
14. An idyll built on contrasts.
Relations in this (rational, evolutionary) dyad are based on a rational and conscious pursuit of excellence and perfection, and pursuit of the maximum that is attainable.
The maximum power here is seen as a minimum of weakness,
The maximum order – as the minimum of chaos.
For the LSI the maximum emotional impact – means a minimum of despondency, a minimum of monotony of emotions, a minimum of dullness and grayness of impressions.
If the EIE begins to dress in gray, dull, black or dark colors, if he doesn't leave the role of a grumbling hypochondriac, if he mopes from morning to evening and becomes irritated over minor things, this means that he's weary and in need of a variety of contrasting sensory experiences that will supply him with the necessary brightness of impressions, and charge him with energy and vivacity (something akin a contrast shower, but more interesting). The LSI acts as the master and the supplier of contrasting sensory experiences in this dyad, rather accurately guessing the secret desires and needs of his dual and sensitively orienting at his state and his feelings.
The search for sharp, contrasting sensations – is an indispensable condition of dualization of Maxim and Hamlet, though this doesn't always manifest in obvious and distinct ways. (This very much depends on respective ages, the level of culture, tastes and preferences of both.) Either light or heavy extreme is permitted in small doses, provided that both find it pleasant and it doesn't go beyond the framework of what is acceptable to both, and allows these duals to receive acute sensations. There are certainly couples who, as they claim, do without it, but somehow they don't look very happy and energetic, and their unions are not always so strong: lack of trust in sexual relations, incompleteness in sexual sensations and in their "programs", generates ethical and personal distrust, which leads to a crisis and the breakdown of relationships in this dyad.
Volitional and emotional stasis – is the worst that could happen here. Once one of the poles of this dyad accumulates too much "dark force" or "dark energy", as one of the duals of this dyad turns from a dear charming person into a tyrant, a monster. This they cannot afford and permit to each other, thus they subconsciously regulate this process on an intuitive and sensory level, not allowing their partner to become overly consolidated in a leading position, and to accumulate too many rights, privileges, and benefits, that would threaten the balance of alternating leadership that exists in this dyad that allows to create an illusion of equality. Partners in this dyad hold situational equality tactically, situationally, alternating between formal and informal rights to lead. From the outside it often looks like fights, quarrels, humorous militant clashes in which each partner tries to keep the advantages for him or herself. An alternating struggle for leadership thus arises – a light, dynamic resistance (something alike a game of tug of war), which does not allow either of them to lose vitality and "fade away." The society of the second quadra encourages willingness to fight, determination, courage, stamina, endurance, desire and ability to stand up for oneself. This gets expressed to the greatest extent in the rational dyad LSI-EIE, where the constant practice and training of fighting qualities is required to maintain normal vitality – the best psychological regime ... Light cockiness, "prickly" enthusiasm, some emotional overexcitement – these are all part of a normal, natural state.
Imagine the scene in a bank lobby. There is a long waiting line. In this line, a charming young couple, a young man - EIE and a girl - LSI, is waiting their turn and dualizing. Whether married or simply in love - this doesn't matter, what matters is how they "play" with each other: he pushes her, she pushes him away, he pulls her by the hair, she nails him in the face. All this "fuss" is already annoying the people around them, people start looking at them, but to them it doesn't matter - they are having fun with all the heart, they "play" being taken in by themselves. Then suddenly a girl remembers something, hangs her purse on his shoulder, and runs outside to make a call. The guy immediately becomes quiet and more gloomy. He waits in line, fills out all the forms, pays for everything. Then goes back to the girl, puts the receipts before her, gives a detailed account ...
In each dyad there is its own, certain way of "building a nest" and "tweeting" in it and rearing the young, creating for this the most optimal conditions, relations, sensations and feelings. Here, as in every quadra and in each dyad, there are certain sexual programs that meet the needs and requirements of the dominant aspects of the dyad – the despotically strong-willed and the hyper-emotional. Since duals are the guardians and bearers of these socio-programs, they must "remember" them, work through and dealt with them from time to time (evolution doesn't sort out the "extra", archaic or atavistic programs as soon as could be wished for). In small quantities, "thrilling" and "edgy" sensations, both emotional and physical, entertain them both ...
(And sometimes in large doses, as was shown in the movie "Nine and a half weeks," that is now a "soft classic" of this genre: a young man (the character of Mickey Rourke) is constantly creating cruel "tests" for his lover: making her feel opposite states of physical and sensory sensations, testing (and studying) the limit of her patience, the extent of her obedience, instilling in her different tastes, habits, traditions, and lifestyles. Ultimately, the girl leaves him because she gets tired of being his "victim", the object of his training, tests and manipulations. She becomes scared of changes in tastes and preferences taking place in her, the displacement of her target programs, her system of coordinates and value orientations. In her view serious relations should develop in a different way, by a different scenario. The young man was looking for a suitable girlfriend by method of trial-and-error, permitting himself to conduct very bold experiments. The entire problem is that this style of relations should not be targeted and addressed "just to anyone", and finding one's life partner should not be carried out by "blind" tweaking and adjustments (although so far there are no other ways).
Maxim and Hamlet belong to quadra of "decisive" types, where "sharp" experiences and sensations, tests for endurance, pleasure from pain, constitute an instinctive part of acceptable in this dyad "marriage programs", and in the process of dualization this becomes partially evident in some form or another. The question is: how should one relate to this?
Contempt for pain and fear in this dyad is considered one of the priority values. The person who despises pain and fear here seems to be an attractive and reliable partner, and inspires trust and respect. (According to "decisive" types, a "whimpering weakling" has nothing to love, and instead evokes contempt and loathing.) Mutual tests arranged by partners in the dyad – are not only demonstrations of one's strength, but also a form of a "love game", that includes instinctual manifestations of dyad, quadral, and individual psychological characteristics that define the program of relations within this dyad, giving form to their dual scenario. Remove the extreme and thrilling experiences and sensations from this dyad (as well as from other dyads of second and third quadra) and partners will start to lose heart, fall into depression, drown in a sense of boredom and frustration, that disaffect these dyads.
15. The system and the idea in the dyad EIE-LSI.
In dyad LSI-EIE (as in any dual dyad), there are two axes – static one and dynamic one; two foundations: the system and the idea, – the idea and the law. If one of these is taken away, the dyad will cease to exist. The question of what should take precedence – the law over the idea, or the idea over the law – in this dyad is resolved and decided upon constantly: locally and globally, both statically and dynamically, tactically and strategically, and so on. There is no definitive answer: this dyad is evolutionary and the change of leading priorities within it is on-going – on evolutionary basis, based on all three laws of dialectics (mainly by the law of negation of negation – the law of change and search for an alternative), and on situational basis – by method of change and selection of leading priorities, both static and dynamic. (On the level of a country this is called the search for a national idea.) Within the framework of one given dyad, in everyday life, externally this looks like alternating leadership in observed order, on which one dual insists and which the other dual supports. (If there is a need, for example, to bring order to the family, to distribute and assign responsibilities, then the "static" dual is listened to – his word will be decisive. If there is a need to choose a travel plan and plot a course of cultural activities for the next vacation, here the "dynamic" dual takes lead. Others can't do without his opinion: if he doesn't like the program of entertainment, others also won't get pleasure from it. (The EIE is like this: he can leave mid-performance himself and pull others along with him, if he is certain that the remainder of the play will ruin his mood for the rest of the evening.) Unlike dual dyads of "democratic" quadra, equality (equitable and just alignment of rights) in "aristocratic" dyads happens vertically, by small and inoffensive "pushes" and "gusts": today one person gets ahead and higher – tomorrow he is overtaken by another. The main thing – is to avoid significant differences in standing. For this one needs to not lose face in the eyes of a partner, ensure and support his respect for oneself, protect him and his honor and dignity, care about the honor and reputation of the family as a major priority, that programs "constitutional relations" in the dyad. Protection of the interests of the system in "subjectivist" quadras (Alpha and Beta) – stands at the forefront, while the protection of honor, dignity, and reputation of the system – is placed above all else. In the second quadra – the quadra of "decisive" "aristocrats" "subjectivists" – the issue of protecting the honor of the system (of a family) – is a question of its vitality and viability: no one wants to be an outcast, a pariah despised by all, a beaten down by stones "scapegoat."
(No one wants to be the "leaven king" – "a jester" and "a fool" on whom everyone drains their guilt, as a fermented slop, and who is then kicked out of the community, along with all the sins that have been poured out on him. This is why the issue of voluntary admitting one's guilt is a sensitive one (admit to one thing, and everything else will be poured on you), and the issue of ridiculing one's own imperfections and shortcomings, and teasing over one's disabilities, is humiliating, while getting ridiculed for them by strangers - is not permissible for one who wants to preserve his dignity, multiply own power and authority. In the second quadra, jokes, criticisms, cruel ruses, parodies, caricatures, and ridiculing cartoons may provoke a painful reaction. The position of voluntarily making oneself a victim of general contempt – is offensive and demeaning. The position of a compliant victim in the second quadra – is the position of a weakling and a coward. And these vices here is customary to "beat out" at an early age, to eradicate complaisance and cowardice by a harsh, Spartan upbringing, to instill endurance and stamina, to accustom to inflexible cruelty ("you'll have pity on your enemy, but he won't have pity on you"), to develop perseverance and courage, the ability to bravely and courageously endure all the trials and pain. Therefore, physical punishment is applied in alternating manner by the duals (in the form of intimate, extreme entertainment, in the form of extreme love games) for the emotional and sensory discharge. They provide evidence of endurance towards that which is contrarian ("I'm not afraid of pain, fear and beatings won't break or intimidate me") – a kind of a regular test for reliability and trustworthiness of a partner and simultaneously a check for his resilience, endurance, patience, energy and vitality, readiness to stand up for himself and for his dual without losing dignity – something akin to a "loyalty oath", sealed by blood and pain. Alternatively playing "the executioner and the victim" as a game here, too, can happen, although in actuality the role of a victim of someone's social or ideological ambitions here is not prestigious nor sought. (You can play, but don't lose your face!)
Why are all these "rituals" needed?
The harsh programs of checks for resoluteness of spirit, firmness, resilience, and strength of the relationship, that fill the EGO-programs and information models of both TIMs do not allow to "forget" about themselves and to be left behind "under-developed", "not worked through" and "not renewed". At least, at a minimum, in the form of a game, in the form of various extreme sports, in social and protective services, in the form of harsh methods of education (and sometimes interaction with teachers), they manifest themselves, at times even in public. (A case: Students have filmed and sent to the TV some unique footage: teacher of type SLE, Zhukov is yelling at her students, then she personally yells at a student of type EIE, then swings her hand at him. The EIE student makes a return swing, and the teacher falls out of the frame.)
A special romantic ambiance in this dyad also contributes to "renewal" of their archaic programs: to "work through" these aspects, these duals sometimes wish to create a special Gothic interior in their bedroom, in their apartment or house. Or fill up their home with special collection of antiques, vintage and unique craft projects – whatever they like, there is no arguing about tastes here. The main thing – is to create a setting, a mood, an image that inspires romanticism, romantic exploits and feats, and everything connected with this ...
Small medieval castle with vaulted ceilings, a chapel and a "toy" casemate – can also be built in present times. However, dark dungeons and cellars won't be its main feature, since these remnants of historical and evolutionary experience of the "past" do not take up much space in the life of these duals, but they do hold connection to their evolutionary origins, to the roots of this dyad, though walking through this dark maze is not always wanted. With the attitude of this dyad being turned towards a distant and bright future, falling behind their contemporaries is not in their manner: like all they want to keep up with the times. (Especially since the intuition of time, Ni, is the dominant value in their dyad and "decisive" quadras.) Nevertheless, they also cannot not go back to the roots of the past: due to the conservative traditions in this dyad, given by "questim", stretched along the axis of time, conservative intuition of time of the EIE – his creative function (Ni). While the EIE calls for a push towards distant, bright future, he, nevertheless, is deeply rooted in the distant, dark past himself, being a tireless researcher of the darkest, most controversial, and little-known pages of history. Sometimes what the EIE extracts from these pages of the past, looks phenomenally beautiful, interesting, modern, and benefits all mankind. Sometimes it is frightening and disturbing, such that it would have been better if he didn't bring it up.
LSI-EIE – is also a dyad of historians, archaeologists, ethnographers, and anthropologists, who work a lot and with enthusiasm with relic curiosities: what they have excavated, they then study and explore, draw parallels and analogies with the present, and extrapolate their knowledge and predictions for the future.
Much is said here about the idea of self-sacrifice, popular in the dyad, and about its incompatibility with the second quadra despised "victim" role. The main thing here is the difference – the border charted by dyadic trait of "obstinacy" that separates these concepts in their essence. Becoming a victim through concession to one's own weakness and permissiveness towards external aggression and foreign tyranny – here is condemned in every way. This brings up incomparable contempt, condemnation, to the extent that an overly compliant child here can be beaten half to death, to "knock out" his cowardice and pusillanimity. Simply because here this is possibly related to his or her ability (or inability) to stand up for the honor of the system, outside the protection of the interests of which there is no existence in this dyad.
Conceding to one's own fear and weak will here is considered to be the most serious crime, which is fought against with the fiercest and most ruthless measures, forcing the will-less victim to the lowest layers of the hierarchy – to a position of an "underling", into the basement, where he is terrorized and hassled until he, at last, realizes for what he is being pushed and begins to "correct" himself. (Good thing is he is able to guess! However, if he finds virtue in obedience and compliance to the will of another, he has no chance of saving himself: the role of pariah, on whom everyone vents their anger and annoyance, is assured for him. (What difference does it make if he's actually committed treason, or not? - the main thing that by his combination of qualities, he is able to do it! And he's able to do it, it is necessary to deprecate and punish him – in order to re-educate him. Once he is re-educated, he himself will say "thank you" and like everyone else will fight for his place in the system.) And the system in this dyad expands vertically. Accordingly, everyone in this dyad feels as climbers to the top of the mountain, tied and linked into one bundle. And if the friend suddenly turns out to be not friend, neither an enemy, but something in the middle, this person gets checked "vertically", at the peak of the relationship, at the height of the conflict, that may be staged as a game – at the "cutting edge" of the very core of the conflict, on the "edge of the sword". (Members of this dyad take on an especially defiant tone when someone informally speaks to them particularly delicately – it starts to annoy them, and often, unexpectedly even to themselves, they start to tell something rude, prickly and defiant. And the more they defy and talk back, the softer they are spoken with: the process of re-education of an overly compliant conversation partner has already begun, and if he just won't take offense, then you can continue talking back: it is interesting to know where his limit of endurance and patience lies. If a compliant conversation partner believes that the situation itself requires him to show restraint, it makes sense to bring it up and openly say so, before the militant contact moves from hidden irritation to explicit one.) "Wimps" and "mumblers" here get treated very harshly (but only for as long as they allow for it). If the "mumbler-wimp" suddenly begins to show character, doesn't yield and concede, contests what he is being offered, imposes his own alternatives, doesn't agree to everything (emulates an "obstinate" type), or slamming the door leaves with expression of resentment on his face, here he's beginning to be respected, loved, others regret about his departure, speak well and bring up warm memories of him, sincerely wish to return him back to the system, promise to treat them well in the future. After he returns back to the system, at least for some time (on inertia) they continue to respect him (at least for the fact that he has somehow "reacted" to their (logical and emotional) "signaling request", which has allowed them to map their logical and ethical relationships over at least some kind of system of coordinates. Since it wasn't clear before: did he care how he was treated before, or not; does he appreciate and cherish the place he occupies in the system and his reputation, or not? And if not, why not? What is this phenomenon? The methods of treatment, at the same time, do not change. The fight to the distribution of places along the vertical axis continues, and again he is pushed towards the bottom. Nobody is going to change the methods of treatment in the system according his model of behavior. The EIE sets an example of behavior in such situations, because for him this is a question of principle, and he proclaims himself to be the standard, regardless of whether anyone likes it - or not. (In schools, EIE students often disrupt lessons and impose their own model of behavior on other students as a means of taking "revenge" on their unloved teacher or subject. They also persuade the whole class to skip lessons – and they don't care if someone is trying to get a good grade or want to learn the subject: they have organized the class action and period! Whoever doesn't follow, is immediately a "traitor!" For the EIE student this is a way of checking the extent of his influence in the status of an informal leader.)
The tone of interaction with the "victim" who has returned to the system is also set by the EIE: it is interesting to learn whether the person has changed any. And for how long this will last. And then, "who has never tasted bitter, knows not what is sweet".
By and large, the dyad LSI-EIE is a "cage for two" and a "mission for two." Children, unless they are identicals or duals, don't feel very comfortable here. (Yet, even the dual and identical children are subject: parenting practices (including medieval, archaic) apply to them, not to mention the grafting of tastes and interests. The charming Addams Family - is a friendly cartoon made on a rational dyad in their softest aristocratic version (with some touch of graceful infernality, which is also not alien to this dyad.) All is well between them (except extravagant games in the form of accidents and crashes), but children seem removed from them, although in many ways they are already catching up with parents, inducing fear and terror in their peers (and this is not fiction). Getting carried away by decay and destruction, the members of this dyad often overlook their own degradation and the corrupting influence on those around them. The cult of death, terror, moral and physical suffering that is often forcibly implanted here first of all ruins children's vulnerable souls. Attempts to grow them into "vampires" (for continuity of infernal traditions) are very costly to society.
In this dyad is not accepted "wash their dirty linen in public" in the interests of "protecting the system", however, in the interests of protecting society from pathologies, in the interests of environmental protection of our shared society, our common information field, in the interests of restoring healthy psychological climate within it, such "huts" should be cleaned out from time to time, together with all the accumulated debris in them.
16. The genie who has sat in the bottle far too long.
Hamlet loves to play the role of a uncontrollable, infernal being, a captive of his own raging emotions, and, at the same time, a prisoner of the circumstances, that do not allow him to express those emotions - a sort of a "genie sitting in a bottle", annoyed already by the fact that others are underestimating the danger of all that has accumulated in terms of this explosive energy, ignoring his condition, getting distracted by their mundane everyday affairs, which seem to be more important to them than the need to allow Hamlet to release on all of his "steam", a need which no one else recognizes as relevant, primary, and super-important, except for Hamlet EIE himself and his dual Maxim LSI. Not waiting for permission from the outside, Hamlet allows himself to "take his emotions for a walk", as dogs who have been sitting on a chain far too long, and releases them on whoever happened to be at hand. He, of course, doesn't take outsiders into account: with them, at least the first few minutes, Hamlet tries to communicate within the norms, although he makes it clear to them that he can explode at any second. It is worse for those people who cohabit and live with him: he slights them without any hesitation if they ignore his condition and disallow him to express aloud his grievances, demands, and complaints in a raised voice. When Hamlet finally "speaks out", he winds himself up more and more, begins to thicken emotional tones and colors, allowing for the greatest amount of emotions to boil over. For this he provokes a scandal, using any opportunity to "pose the question or issue point-blank". And it's not that there are many "questions" and "issues", but that there is a lot of "dark energy" ("condensed emotions") that have accumulated, which are necessary to express somehow, to spill out somewhere, to discharge, because "burning them through" by oneself is all very difficult. It's not pleasant to see how unrealized emotions – their value, unrealized strength, hope, energy, and aspirations – burn pointlessly, as "dry foliage". Thus the EIE "lights up" as if on gunpowder whenever he is not allowed (for whichever reasons) to successfully and creatively to realize his emotional and energy potential.
So what is there to do with this "demon", with this stagnant in itself condensate of "black energy"? - Outside of dual relations such problems are very difficult to resolve.
And what does the dual have to offer? – his educational "therapy", realized by method of "carrot and stick" in the best traditions of "declatim" model, that has developed the classical scheme of effective socialization of Hamlet, which, by the way, was offered by William Shakespeare in one of his best comedies, "The Taming of the Shrew", since all the "diseases" of his own TIM (EIE), and all methods of their "treatment", he knew like no other.
The main character, Katarina – is a young and charming girl and at the same time – an embittered and uncontrollable person. A sort of "black sheep", an insufferable shrew, who terrorizes her relatives with her fits of unreasonable fury and instills and fear terror into people around her. Due to which he is being kept locked up as wild and indomitable creature: neither servants nor teachers attend to her in the house of her father – a wealthy and noble senor Baptista Minola. Who, nevertheless, is hoping that this "monster" can be successfully married and settled somewhere more reliable, to free up his house as soon as possible from her presence, and himself - from this painful custody and responsibility for her fate. The dowry offered for her is big, but, despite this, many poorer nobles would rather remain in their debts than unite their life with unbearable Katarina. Fortunately, there is one easy-going nobleman from out of town - Signor Petruchio, the son of Antonio - who has arrived from Verona to beneficially marry "on whomever". Wealth is his "wedding chorus", his goal and his stimulus, and the bride – if she's a sheer "devil" – what does it matter to him? Petruchio is confident in himself and believes that for a decent reward he can learn to live with anyone. Locals greet him enthusiastically – he is the one whom they have been waiting for, because the "evil" Katarina has a sister – a charming and modest Bianca, whom many wish to woo, but she can marry only after her eldest sister is married. And in this lies the problem: about Katarina – this "wicked witch", with whom the "devil himself cannot get along" – no one even wants to hear. Everyone in Padua knows her to be as an impossible, insufferable creature, and none of the decent men dare to link their fate with her. Petruchio is not one of the locals and believes that these fears are exaggerated. As a man resolute, stubborn, and strong (LSI, Maxim), who has seen and experienced much in his lifetime, he is not accustomed to retreating from his goals. Difficulties and dangers do not frighten him, especially such a little thing like a grumpy bride – "woman's tongue rattles no louder than the chestnuts fired up by a farmer". Petruchio comes to woo Katarina. The size of the dowry - this is what interests him. And the wife, he is willing to take as optional - without looking (like a cat in a bag), as she interests him in the least. But Signor Baptista, as a loving father, wants the groom to first obtained the agreement of the bride. Petruchio meets the bride. And the very first meeting with Katarina he is horrified: the "cat in the bag" is actually an unrestrained, ferocious "tigress" – training which is not an easy task. At this point, changes happen to Petruchio: he realizes that he's in love with this charming spitfire, and at the same time discovers in himself a talent of fearless tamer. The plan of action and all techniques of training he invents on the spot, using the sequence of "carrot" and "stick". The "whip" is applied in practice and actions, the "carrot" – in words. Noticing that Katarina adequately responds only to what he says, and not his actions, he adheres to this method: he is respectful only while speaking to her, but in his actions he quickly and harshly attacks to subdue the very first angry attack and all following bouts of anger, with which Karatina went into the role of a "vicious fury" (or "fire-breathing dragon") to scare him. But in fact, by her actions she is, as if, purposely inspiring Petruchio, inflaming his desire to win at any cost, and pulling him into a fascinating duel of raging passions, ambitions, inexhaustible rage, and indomitable force. Petruchio feels like a warrior in the midst of this battle, a rider making rounds around a wild mare. Fighting for him is intoxicating, passionate – it excites him and leads him to a complete delight. He cannot wait to continue the fight, but in other conditions, to pay tribute to the emotions of the bride. Petruchio takes her for a blessing to the father. And then, with the light hand of the playwright, he successfully works in two ways: on the one hand – as an experienced trainer, pacifying wild animals, on the other – as an experienced doctor who heals the mentally ill. And there is no prescription (from all apparently used in the London Bedlam in the age of Shakespeare), which he doesn't apply to his wife for medicinal purposes. As the first treatment he chooses "shock": on the wedding day, when the bride in a wedding dress is standing at church entrance surrounded by guests, the groom arrives several hours late, and inappropriately – dressed in rags, looking absurd, riding on an old nag. Matching him in dress was his servant. All the guests were in shock (the bride too), but the wedding took place. And further – another shock, another extreme, another "cold shower – new suffering, new shame: the bride is taken away by force from the wedding feast, sentenced to fasting (for medicinal purposes), and now under pouring rain she has to travel to her husband's estate. The next item of the program: prescribed by her husband "mud bath", which were also administered to her on that long journey. Because her horse stumbled, Katarina falls into a mud puddle, and being soaked by the rain, all in mud, she has to pull herself out and walk to the house late at night – her absence was, as if, not noticed, she was forgotten. And in the house her husband prepared for her a new surprise: the entire house is shabby, cluttered, dirty, where slovenly servants loiter around, to whom the master himself ordered to appear as bums and fools – this entire house was eerily depressing, and had a resemblance to a mental hospital, which was amplified by the look of these "servants". But the main "crazy-psycho" was, of course, her husband. And Katarina realized this as soon as they were seated at dinner: she was again left hungry – all the food her husband has judged as unfit for consumption, and knocked to the floor along with the table and the tablecloth. He gave her an educational instruction and offered to starve some more. And then sent her to the bedroom – she thought to rest, but, in fact, he came up with another "entertainment": in the middle of the night he woke her up, raged, yelled at the servants, threw the bedding onto the floor, turned the bed over – with such an inadequate response he tried to scare her. The next day, she was again starved, kept in the mud and cold, in this vast and comfortless house, refused all the essentials (in socionics this is called a "hit on white sensorics, Si"). All the psychological and sensory discomfort that could be invented and applied to his venerable and noble lady wife – all of it was applied. Realizing that he is being tested and wanting to take control over him into her own hands, Katharina recalls of her even nominal rights of wife and mistress of the house. Her husband is pleased, and among servants starts to call her as "mistress", ordering them to obey her. As she brings order to this, now her own, "family nest", her own problems become resolved: chaos and confusion around her become less and less. By her desire for organization and order (to the delight of her husband), she shows herself as a reasonable and rational person, which allows her to quickly establish a trusting relationship with her husband.
While Katarina is sweating for her past sins, her sister - "a shy, quiet, and demure" Bianca, left behind as the only, favorite child in her father's house, becomes naughty and falls from one pre-marital adventure into another. Fortunately, it all ends well, and Katharina and her husband receive from her father news of her sister's upcoming wedding. By this time Katarina, too, has changed: the role of solitary heroine, rejected by the environment, no longer seems necessary to her. She has successfully adapted to her new environment, and at the same time changed that environment in accordance to her own views of happy family life. And finally, her first reward – she can leave the house as a married woman: for this purpose expensive dresses and hats are being purchased. Her husband asks her to try it all, and then suddenly – a new shock! – again behaving inappropriately, recalling past grievances, he screams and tears to shreds all the new clothing that was bought for his wife, chops it all to pieces, and leaves Katarina crying over a pile of useless scraps. The training continues: into the house of his father-in-law, Petruchio must bring a submissive wife – a "house cat", not a "tiger." Therefore, this work is under way at a quickened pace, and within a month Petruchio finds that he has achieved the desired result: now his wife obeys him in everything – even if she's woken up in the middle of the night, she doesn't say a cross word. But this is not the end of the program: the results must be solidified, and the harsh training continues throughout the visit of the newlyweds in Padua. On each object or person they encounter along their way, Katarina must look through the eyes of her husband and "see" only what he sees, however ridiculous it may look from the outside. Only when he makes sure that she's completely obedient to him does Petruchio brings her into the house of Minola. According to his plan, Katarina has to go further and pass "the final test" – a test for respectable behavior. In order for the new changes in her character appear with most contrast, Petruchio draws into a contest for submission two other men and their wives. The betting terms are: whose wife comes running to the call of her spouse the soonest will take the prize (as if the talk was about a horse or a dog race). Petruchio wins the prize: Katarina's obedience shocks and amazes other people. To some present ladies her humility seems absurd. But Katarina dissuades them: in this episode, she shows herself not a slave to the cruel whims of her husband, but a devout and committed leader – an ideological fighter for the rights of men in the family – an adept of patriarchal relations, able to advise and instruct all who question the moral superiority of this old, as the world, system. Of previous feminism there is no talk. (As if it wasn't her who shouted before the wedding: "Men – are the worst of all evils!") The new Katarina is difficult to recognize: other "shrewd" wives can be sent to her for re-education. And a demonstrative lesson, she, taking this opportunity, starts immediately: she reads instructions to disobedient wives, shames them, instructs, condemns, educates, and explains how a reasonable and respectable woman should behave. At the same time, she is thinking and explaining herself broadly, on the level of the state, arguing that a rebellious wife – is nothing but "a rabid rebel who is rebelling against his sovereign". All of the husbands are shocked and listen to her as to a newly found prophet – with wonder, reverence, and attention. And Katarina herself also derives pleasure from the impression that her new role has made on all those present – the role of "the most righteous and the most proper wife". This role she likes much more than her previous one: it provides for her many more moral advantages, opens up more opportunities, turns out to be that convertible value that is most appreciated and popular in her community and in her family. (And besides that, it allows her to displace her husband from the field of his interests, and claim for herself the priority position in the system: from the ranks of "submissive wife" move into the role of a "friendly warden and supervisor", which is also very convenient.) Her fool of a husband thinks she has become humble for him – but this is not so! He simply provided her with "codes" and "ciphers" to his trust. Now, in his eyes, she will always be right, but only when she wants it herself: after all, he likes re-educating her! And Katarina is glad of her success and the fact that she was able to present this "performance" for all as a gift to the wedding, as the good wishes and advice. She is glad that she has managed to unspeakably surprised everyone, and present herself not as a "vicious savage", not a "tigress", not a victim of an oppressive husband, but namely as a "mentor - adept" of the idea, which is so valued in this dyad: a marriage is built not only on trust, but also on infinite respect, which is presented at the first request as a "pass" to the higher level of relations. The fact that this "pass" and the trust need to be earned, by going through difficult, heavy, sometimes painful tests – there's nothing one can do about it: each dyad has its own "codes", "methods", "approaches", and its own access to happiness.
In this dyad, the director of these involving games is the EIE. He decides how long he will play one or another role. The EIE also decides which role he will make his partner play, relying, in this case, on his social and ethical analysis of the situation and of the possibilistic and power potential of the other person. And, of course, on his sense of dramaturgy of the developing situation, on his intuition of time, with which the episodes of the game must dynamically change one after another. Heating up of emotions and passions, complications in the intrigue, nevertheless, should not be protracted in time. Otherwise the game becomes too boring, and the LSI will want to leave it. But the EIE cannot permit his "tamer" to get out of the cage and lose interest in him. Once the EIE becomes "boring" and "civil", the LSI considers his mission accomplished, loses a sense of purpose in further interaction with his partner (loses the thread of further development of relations) and abruptly becomes bored. The EIE cannot allow for this. If this happens, for the EIE it will be difficult to attract LSI's attention again – as well as fight for a privileged place in the system: as the LSI may forget about his daring and aggressive qualities. For this, the EIE must constantly show small flashes and reminders of aggression. So that the LSI feels himself living over an un-extinguished volcano and takes this into account: such that he'll be a little bit afraid of his partner and respects him for his ability to fire up at any moment and stand up for himself, for his rights, for his positions and his place in the system. The EIE has to occasionally "growl" and pretend to be "an angry snarling beast", to remind the LSI that he's "a tiger cub" and not a "household cat", and make the LSI, again, take on the role of a trainer. And the LSI loves this role. Thus, there's nothing unnatural in this game (given that there are no abnormalities in psyches of partners). The game pulls both of them in as a fiery "dance with swords" and some kind of stunts – that allows to turn duality into a game, the game – into a bright, impressive performance, the performance – into a life filled with adventure, danger, risk and tribulations, in the process of which duals may once again test their feelings for strength and feel each other's support. (To complete this image, one can recall and imagine "The Sabre Dance" to the music of Aram Khachaturian from ballet "Gayane": the nature of music accurately reflects the nature of the relationship in this dyad, the nature of this duality – energy-rich, dynamic, constantly changing with contrasting images, sensations, and impressions – strong and extreme, that transform their lives into a fierce battle, into an undying struggle, and, at the same time, a bright emotional show.) Without such confrontation of these bright and strong characters their life together would seem boring and insipid – there won't be brightness and vividness of impressions, nor the sense of completeness of life and happiness. Because happiness in this dyad consists of growing interest in each other, and in the discovery of new and unknown within each other, and in the daily heroism of overcoming of hardships. Happiness must be earned and deserved, and suffered for not only by new and unknown tribulations, presented by fate, but also the pain and fear of dangerous experiments, frightening and not always pleasant surprises arranged by someone – either one of the partners. Because each "surprise" or "experiment" – is not only a test of their feelings and of the strength of their relationship, but it is also a lesson in survival, a test for devotion and dutifulness, for strength of the bonds in this marriage. And at the same time – the transition to a new level of election and enlightenment into the mysteries of this duality, known, by and large, only to its members – the EIE and the LSI.
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