Deceived for Years by a Parent? 7 Survival Tactics
Channel: The Anti-Alienation Project
Date: 2024-03-05

It’s traumatic to learn you’ve been manipulated and or lied to by a parent--sometimes for years or decades. In this video, I share 7 things that helped me cope upon learning I’d been deceived and alienated from my dad for 20 years.

-7 tips for former alienated children (from a former alienated child)


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Timestamped summary
Overcoming parental deception and alienation requires seeking therapy, finding healthy outlets for emotions, challenging beliefs, and prioritizing self-worth and validation.
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00:00 Find a therapist 
...knowledgeable about narcissistic abuse, childhood trauma, and parental alienation, who challenges your beliefs and is willing to learn about parental alienation, and consider EMDR therapy for success.
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02:18 Bilateral stimulation music 
...can help activate the neocortex and limbic system, pulling you out of fight or flight mode caused by the reptilian brain.
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03:20 Find an Outlet
.... to express the pain of parental deception, while also using exercise to release anger, frustration, and combat depression and anxiety. Collapse
Get a therapist and find an outlet to express the pain of being deceived by a parent.
Exercise can help release anger, frustration, and combat depression and anxiety by providing a natural serotonin boost and rush of endorphins.
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04:52 Create a Schedule
...create a schedule, and be non-judgmental towards your thoughts during a challenging time. 
Engage in creative activities like learning a new skill, gardening, or photography to find a consistent and enjoyable outlet for healing and self-discovery.
Create a schedule for yourself, view yourself as a third party, practice reparenting, and be non-judgmental towards your thoughts during a challenging and emotional time.
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06:57 Reach out to the parent you've believed lies about
... take control of relationships, seek both sides of the story, challenge your thoughts, and find a support group if alienated from a parent.
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08:52 “Mattering"
...Overcoming parental deception requires addressing poor self-esteem, seeking validation, and recognizing personal value and strengths. Collapse
Addressing poor self-esteem and the need for validation and recognition from others is crucial for overcoming the detrimental effects of being deceived by a parent.
Feeling valued and adding value is crucial for those who have experienced parental alienation, and experts suggest identifying strengths and recalling times when you have felt useful in order to increase your sense of mattering.
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10:32 How to Matter
...Find ways to add value in others' lives, adjust relationships, fight for a cause, and prioritize feeling like you matter for happiness, better relationships, and self-compassion.
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11:47 You can do this! 
Share these survival tactics with those who need support and check out our website for more resources.


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Welcome to The Anti-Alienation Project, where I discuss all things parental alienation from the POV of an adult child who's been through it. I'm sorry you're going through this, but I'm that glad you're here:) 

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