New Year's humor 2020
Channel: DJ ANIBTIKO
Date: 2019-12-31

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New Year's humor 2020
I am studying at the Denis Konovalov YouTube school
Jokes without vulgarity and without politics, You can retell almost everywhere. I try to imagine humor as fresh as possible. Some have yet to tell. Part of trying to show how short dialogues. There are several jokes in the format of music and parodies of songs. Far to perfection - however, there is room for development. I plan to develop a more or less (better, better - better) musical ear, learn to sing more or less correctly (the better - the better), learn how to make music, special effects and shoot music videos with dance music in the future from jokes. For example ditties (if the joke is short) or parodies of songs. If you can come up with a new song. If you like the video, it is advisable to share on the pages of your social networks. It is highly advisable to sign up and turn on the bell. You can also send video links to your friends on social networks. Listen more often - laughter is good for your health

- Prince Ivan and Batman met once. And got married. And what? Ivan is unpretentious - he is like a frog or a bat...

"I've heard somewhere that Wi-Fi is particularly harmful to women.
- Of course, harmful! The floors are not washed, the food is not ready...

- Hey you! Where are you going?!
- There!
- Wow... Do you have a permit?!
"That's it!" 800 by 600!

An army convoy of trucks is moving through the city. A voice is heard from the first car with a megaphone:
- Tram number 331! Take right-skip the column!

"I eat blueberries every night before I go to bed. Now my vision is one.
"And I eat mushrooms every night, and my eyesight is twice as good."
"How's that?"
"I even see things that aren't there."

Muller was in a hurry, driving the car along the highway at top speed. Near ran Stirlitz, pretending that carelessly strolling

- Why did you try to escape from prison?
"I wanted to get married."
"You have strange ideas about freedom...

Stealing unemployed and stealing at work commit different crimes

"Darling, what do you say we get married on Christmas day?"
- Oh, leave it, please, is it worth spoiling your holiday?

"Give me the hemorrhoid candles." - This is not a pharmacy, but a car service! - I know, I have a Lada Kalina.

A man walks into a jewelry store.
Sales girl:
- Oops, a man, as well that you to us have reached, soon 8 MARCH and have us two weeks 20% discount. Buy something as a gift for your girlfriend. Here's a pendant I can offer, gold, in the shape of a heart, your girl will love it.
Man (sad):
— I don't have a girlfriend…
Saleswoman flirtatiously:
"Oh, no! Such a prominent, handsome, tall man — and no girl?
Why?!
Man (even sadder):
"My wife won't let me."

A ship is moored to the shore. On the shore are onlookers. A sailor with a cry of "stand from under!"throws the metal end of the mooring line on the shore
the rope and hits the onlooker right in the forehead. That-kick! "and falls unconscious." Finally, he comes to his senses, sees the sailor in front of him, and says to him:
- When you drop your half-tundra, yell " watch Out!".

In the pharmacy: - these Allergy pills have almost no side effects, and you can drive a car with them. - Wonderful pills, because I can't drive a car!

Evening. A little boy is doing his homework, and his dad is sitting next to him reading a newspaper. Outside the window, a voice is heard: - Well, Petrukha, give us another hundred grams. A small boy, looking up from his lessons, asks his dad: - Dad, are these drunks? "No, son, they're dwarf weightlifters.

The Admiral liked to give the most unexpected commands. Once on Board the ship, he took off his cap, threw it on the deck, and announced to the sailors: "this is a bomb." Your actions? One young sailor, without hesitation, kicked his cap so that it fell into the water. Everyone held their breath, waiting for the Admiral's reaction. He pointed to the floating cap and gave a new command: "man overboard!"

All people are divided into two categories - those who believe that unnecessary things should be thrown away, and those who believe that they are not
need to buy

"Why are you so sad?" - You see, when I go fishing, my neighbor goes to my wife. "Have you tried not going fishing?" -
I tried, but then he catches my fish..

Muller knew that Russians stir sugar and leave a spoon in a glass