How Borderline, Covert Narcissist React to & Spin Rejection, Abandonment
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2023-06-13

Rejection, abandonment trigger separation insecurity and constitute extreme narcissistic injury (trigger grandiosity cognitive distortion).

The cognitive dissonance is resolved via a mix of aggression and passive-aggression.

Drama linked to hyperemotionality, fills the existential void, a simulated and compressed life

Entitlement to be unique and exclusive as measured via currency of attention.

Splitting (I am all good, s/he is all bad).

Projection

Hoovering is the ultimate goal unless mortification sets in (Borderline: unsafe, Narcissist: publicly shaming)

Aggressive techniques (histrionic and psychopathic comorbidities): 

Revenge fantasies (rarely translated to action beyond ostentatious demonstrative acts like a smear campaign because the fantasy is perfect and action might fail and exacerbate the narcissistic injury).

Delusional reframing (I rejected him/her).

Actual violence.

Passive-aggressive techniques: 

Triangulation (esp. emotionally injurious with best friend, worst enemy, colleagues, stable of exes, and so on)

Setting you up for failure (undermining, sabotaging, defeating, handicapping you):

Unrealistic demands or expectations.

Engineering situations that are bound to trip you up.

Motivating others to withhold help, support, or collaboration or to actively conspire against you.

Fostering an environment that requires talents, skills, or knowledge that you do not possess or do not excel at.

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