YOU in the Mind of Narcissist, Borderline
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2023-05-09

Narcissist tries to match internal object with external object. So, he will first communicate with the introject, reach an equilibrium or homeostasis with it and then try to impose this entente on the external object.

Similarly, both idealization and devaluation first occur internally, with the internal object which is rendered either perfect or persecutory. Only then will the narcissist attempt to coerce the external object to match the internal one (for example: via projective identification). 

The internal state of the introject is always dominant over the internal state of the external object, simply because the narcissist is aware of the former and has no clue about the latter (he lacks empathy and access to positive emotions). So, the answer is yes. This a form of projection. 

No, of course not. The narcissist maintain functional reality testing. Unlike the psychotic, the narcissist and borderline never hallucinate (except during psychotic microepisodes). 

But, the narcissist feels that he exerts control and ownership over you. Like leaving your car in a carpark or your phone charging. You are out of sight, but not out of mind (introject constancy). It is a form of magical thinking: you are the narcissist’s extension and ambassador, wherever you may be. Wherever you are, he is. The introject is like a rope and he gives you enough of it, or like giving you a line off a fishing reel.

This creates in you the illusions of autonomy and agency – and in him the delusions of possession and control. 

Introjects have on/off switches. You can silence them.

When he has sex with someone else, your introject is either deactivated or is left active. Disabling the introject to avoid negative affectivity (shame, guilt, anger) – leaving it on to accomplish some goal and restore grandiosity (e.g., revenge sex). 

Internal objects are cathected and reframed (made to fit into a narrative). 

BPD example:

When there is a failure to convert idealized object to a persecutory object, this leads to acting out.

Borderline legitimizes forbidden, repressed introjects, resonates with pathological parts, becomes a vector of contagion.

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