Arth- The Meaning of Life Through Love| Video Essay| Healing and Self-Love Seriesl AK's Perspective
Channel: AK's Perspective
Date: 2021-06-05

Released in the year 1982, in a nutshell, Arth explores the journey of a woman, Pooja and how she she embarks upon a journey of self-love and healing after having to deal with her husband's affair and estrangement.

It offers a relatable and sincere look into the human mind's tendency to become co-dependent. With the female lead as the cynosure of the movie, it did an honest job at delving into the range of emotions of a heartbroken woman right from the stinging pain of betrayal, the grief of living with it to its ultimate acceptance.

Arth shows us how devastating the consequences of seeking love with a lack mentality can be. Pooja’s past is mired by deprivation and the difficulties of being an orphan. She married Inder with the hopes of finding some sense of belonging.

However, Inder’s egotistical attitude and temperamental nature couldn't offer any security to her in 7 years of their marriage. She keeps vocalizing how integral it is to her to have a home of her own to her husband. However, that is a projection of the very fear of abandonment she had. When Inder confesses to Pooja about his extra-marital affair with Kavita, Pooja’s worst fears come true. Pooja is a vivid example of how inner child wounds, especially those of abandonment can have catastrophic consequences, especially when left unattended. She is seeking something to call her own in another person, in this case, her husband. With time, even she realizes the lesson that she cannot call someone a home or expect anyone to heal her. Pooja’s journey is a lesson many of us have learnt the hard way. Our attachment styles develop right from our childhoods. The emotional wounds that affected us in childhood have a pivotal role to play in shaping what we seek in our relationships as we grow. Pooja’s idea of love is one that emanates from her innate need for some stability. Her distraught childhood as an orphan and her craving for a stable life as an adult is only natural but not healthy. Unknowingly, she expected Inder to eradicate her abandonment issues. Our inner child wounds are very unique to us and expecting someone else to nurse them is something we do until they eventually abandon us all over again.

Popular culture has forever promoted a hyped and unrealistic view of romantic relationships. Relationships that give you a rush or make you go crazy in it are glorified in the name of true love. These portrayals are nothing but a drug that offers an escape from reality for the audience. However, a handful of films over the years have ventured into the discreet territories of realities in relationships. One of them happens to be Arth.

When it comes to Inder, this quote by renowned psychotherapist and author, Alexandra Katehakis, truly hits home,  “ When we step out of the delirium of always seeking someone new, and meet the same old sad and lonely child within, our healing journey begins. Exhausting ourselves with novelty is a defense against our deepest pain, one that we cannot outrun. But once we stop and feel our losses, we can begin our healing journey and be the authentic, joyous person we were born to be.” 

I couldn’t stop thinking how these 3 characters, Pooja, Inder and Kavita were all co-dependent individuals. Their love didn’t come from a place of total acceptance of themselves or of the other individual. Their love emanated from a vacuum that remained unfilled in their psyches. They loved because they lacked something. Their cups were empty and they were seeking somebody else to fill it for them. 

The only example of healthy love can be seen in the equation between Raj and Pooja. Raj’s love is based on a genuine appreciation for Pooja. He respects her and encourages her to find herself. He is mature enough to even understand Pooja’s need for a life of her own with a newfound purpose. It’s a kind of love that wishes well for the other. A sincere form of love, wrapped in respect and understanding.

Towards the end of the movie, both Pooja and Kavita can be seen to have realized the truth about their individual situations.

In the words of the eminent psychologist, Dr. Carl Jung, "Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people." Kavita, the other woman in the equation can be seen coming face to face with some ugly realities. This confrontation with her shadow escalates into an episode of panic attacks. She bounces back with the new realization that she too had been seeking love from the wrong man all this time. 

Ultimately, both women can be seen facing their individual truths with newfound self-respect and self-love essential for true healing and empowerment. When self-love develops, one stops putting oneself through hell and back. Just like Pooja did, one becomes okay when one realizes that the very home one was seeking all along was oneself. This realization is what adds more meaning to one’s life.