Borderline Demonizes Partner, Pathologizes Narcissist (Or Herself)
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2023-05-10

BPD suffer from persecutory delusions, paranoid ideation as an instrument to extricate themselves from engulfment/enmeshment anxiety. 

The persecutory dynamic is either autoplastic (I am a bad object abuser) or alloplastic (I am a victim). 

When there is a failure of the defense allowing the Borderline to convert an idealized object to a persecutory object, she can’t regard herself as a victim, but only as bad object, an abuser. This ego dystony leads to decompensation and acting out. 

Borderline legitimizes forbidden, repressed introjects, resonates with pathological parts in her intimate partner, becomes a vector of contagion. 

Borderline is the mirror image of the narcissist:

She has introject inconstancy, he has object inconstancy.

She considers herself as a bad object externally but not internally, he considers himself a bad object internally but not externally.

The Borderline encourages the narcissist to interact exclusively with his internal objects because she doesn’t want him to realize that she is an external, bad object. 

She considers herself bad and flawed: “If he gets too close to me, he will abandon me; if he finds out the truth about me, he will run away. Better that he should live in a fantasy”. 

She incentivizes and reinforces his pathological fantasy defense. Feeds him with drama and conflicts to keep him busy and distracted as he desperately attempts to realign, reframe, and redefine his internal objects. 

Borderline pushes narcissist to become psychotic while narcissist pushes borderline to become a psychopath.

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