Overprotective Parents and Manipulative Helplessness
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2023-12-03

Overprotective parents deny access to reality, stymie growth, prevent separation-individuation, disallow emerging boundaries, impair reality testing, foster dependency, distort IWM (world is hostile and dangerous), decouple actions from consequences (child can do no wrong, entitled), instrumentalize (child anxiolytic, mitigates insecurities), parentify (child responsible for their wellbeing). In short: child grows up to be a narcissist. 

This leads to learned, feigned, dramatic, manipulative helplessness: control from the bottom, leveraging dependency to manipulate, covert narcissism.

The partner is expected to recreate the overprotective parental role: firewall reality, stymie growth, prevent separation-individuation, disallow emerging boundaries, impair reality testing, foster dependency, distort IWM (world is hostile and dangerous), decouple actions from consequences (regressed partner babyblike, can do no wrong, entitled), instrumentalize (partner anxiolytic, mitigates insecurities), parentify (partner responsible for their wellbeing).

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