Ms Elle X The hidden violence of Enmeshment = ANNIHILATION of Self & Identity must DIE
Channel: Visceral Gravitas
Date: 2023-06-08

@ElleX sourced from https://youtu.be/5gI9AdxJHlk

transcript:
how do you avoid codependency when you are in a Master Slave relationship??

Enmeshment in connection won't be tolerated in a healthy connection because a healthy connection is Unity is 2 wholes coming together 

enmeshment erases identity by seeking Unity through annihilation of self 
annihilation of self 

in both cases we end up with Oneness but an enmeshment someone's identity has to Die 
identity has to die 
it's incredibly tough 
identity has to die 

here's my definition of enmeshment 
the prevention or removal of personal expression 
individual identity 
emotional autonomy and or physical privacy 
annihilation of Self 
that's enmeshment 
annihilation of Self 
that's enmeshment 

this is how it shows up in DS dynamic this is how it shows up in romantic relationships 
losing sight of self-care friendships and responsibilities when you're experiencing relational conflict 
identity has to die 
feelings of happiness and overall mood depend on the state of the relationship 
identity has to die 
there's excessive anxiety during conflict and or compulsions to fix conflict out of fear of Abandonment 
identity has to die 
your partner's moods and emotional states determine your mood and emotional states 
identity has to die 
conflict feels threatening like it could damage the relationship or offend the other person 
identity has to die 
the other person's dreams or changes feel worrisome if they don't involve you 
identity has to die 
someone's boundaries are regularly shut down or belittled by the enmeshed person 

As an enmeshed person you feel a sense of anxiety when you are apart from the other person 
topics are regularly swept under the rug 
and as a result all of this enmeshed behavior creates a distance 
identity has to die 
distance 
emotional distance 

it's going to be constant exhausting boundary setting toward the enmeshed person 
because the enmeshed person needs to feel enmeshed to feel safe 
connection equals enmeshment to the enmeshed person 
identity has to die 
highly controlling 
identity has to die
highly violating 
identity has to die
it feels like love 
it feels like a loving connection to the enmeshed person 
needs to feel enmeshed to feel safe 

in a Master Slave Dynamic it has to start in my opinion with the dominant, with the master, they have to be so full of Power Authority and security that they won't tolerate codependency and enmeshment 

identity has to die 
that's enmeshment
annihilation of self 
that's enmeshment