Calming People who have LOST it (Bill Eddy)
Channel: CJ Liu
Date: 2022-01-10

CJ Liu interviews Bill Eddy (https://www.highconflictinstitute.com), co-founder and chief innovation officer at High Conflict Institute, about his newest book “Calming Upset People with EAR”.   Bill defines a high conflict personality as someone who has an all or nothing attitude or is prone to blaming others “it’s all your fault”.  In the interview, Bill shares a story about a couple in which he was mediating a divorce and how he handled a very angry husband who wanted Bill as a mediator to help him bury his wife with his financial analysis. The advice that Bill offers for redirecting and not absorbing the emotions of others is to use EAR statements (Empathy, Attention, and Respect).  He provides several examples of what that would sound like: 
Empathy: I understand, I hear you, I see you. 
• I felt that way too when that happened..
• I can understand
• I hear how hard you have worked..
• I see this isn’t how you want it to go. 
Attention
• I’m listening. 
• Did I get it all?
 Respect: 
• I respect the commitment to solve the problem
• I respect the hard work you have put into xxx
• I respect your right to have opinion, but you’d be safer doing…
The goal is the form a team against the problem and to remember to connect with the people. It’s about being Ready/objective, creative and protective and to look at choices together. 


SUBSCRIBE NOW
http://bit.ly/1qIcXi8

CONNECT WITH CJ
Facebook ➤ https://www.facebook.com/fireitupwithcj
Twitter ➤ https://twitter.com/FireItUPwithCJ
Fire It Up With CJ ➤ http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/
Coaching ➤ http://www.mywholelife.net