Lonely World, Schizoid Future (and Sex)
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2021-08-16

Did we get it completely wrong? Are we not a social species - but a race of self-sufficient loners? Do we actually much prefer being alone to having to suffer the quirks and intrusions of others? Are intimacy and society merely manipulative myths intended to foster herd mentality? Is solitude the normal baseline state and cities a pathological aberration?

Society, institutions, community, and human interactions are all things of the past. Sex is doomed. Welcome to a new schizoid world.

Research by the Institute of Institute of Workplace and Facilities Management, which spoke to 2,000 adults in the UK, found that the majority were frustrated by the return to office life after 14 months of self-isolation.

The respondents deplored background human noises, having to share a desk with a co-worker, and inadequate video conferencing facilities (to avoid face to face contact).

The survey found that half - and an overwhelming majority of the young - believed that they were more productive working from home, all on their own, with minimal human interaction. They resented bitterly the need to exit their schizoid cocoons and face other people.

Even dating and sex have almost vanished in the past 20 years (see the work of Lisa Wade, Jean Twenge, and others).

We are increasingly avoiding each other, ensconced in digital impregnable castles and enmoored in compensatory fantasies. And we seem to prefer it this way!

Most schizoids are hyposexual or even asexual. They are totally self-contained and self-sufficient, with an empty core. But a small minority are hypersexual, even to the point of promiscuity and self-trashing.

These schizoids use dysregulated, haphazard, and unboundaried sex IN LIEU of meaningful object relations and intimacy.

Sex plays a crucial role in the psychodynamics and lives of such schizoids. It is their cardinal mode of communication; their only efficacious method of socializing and bonding; and the main regulatory mechanism.

But it is also auto-erotic and fantasy based. So, it is NOT meaningful on the interpersonal level.

This profound meaninglessness may be the reason why schizoids keep selecting wrong mates: culturally or religiously inhibited, hyposexual, misogynistic or misandrist, narcissistic, psychopathic, avoidant, or classically schizoid.

The schizoid uses sex to connect only to himself and instrumentalizes his sex partners - their gaze (for exhibitionistic self-trashing), their bodies (leveraged for sadomasochistic self-degradation or mutual masturbation), and their attention (to regulate the schizoid’s sense of self-worth) - in order to become alive, to experience his own existence.

When hypersexed, the schizoid’s sexuality is also a form of self-harm with all the functions of self-harming:

drowning out negative affectivity,

feeling alive,

self-punishment,

affirmation of negative self-perception and introjects.

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